#no parents supporting me

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[bixels]

Taking the current topic as an excuse to ask you to tell me all the reasons you love Rarijack. Your art for the ship is so sweet and intimate I'd love to hear any in depth thoughts you have.

Breathes in.

I think what makes their dynamic really strong is that they have opposing personalities but aligned values. It's deeper than just "opposites attract." Rarity's fancy, prissy, and femme while Applejack's modest, rough, and "masculine." But both value hard work (to the point of being workaholics), their families (both have guardianship over their little sisters), running successful businesses, and eventually each other. Their relationship can be boiled down to, "Despite our differences/disagreements, I still like you because we value the same things."

We see their relationship develop so much. In the first season, they can't stop bickering about surface-level differences. By season four, they still bicker, but will mend their relationship because they can't help but do nice things for each other. In Trade Ya, they start off arguing over personality differences (Applejack likes old junk and Rarity likes useless crap). Then they pivot and start arguing that they value their relationship more than the other. In the end, they mend things by sacrificing their needs and buying each other a gift. Even if they don't understand it, they know it'd make the other happy. And that's all that really matters. It's a genuinely sweet moment that shows how arguing can be healthy and necessary for relationships to strengthen.

We even see them dropping their hang-ups about each others' personalities. In Made in Manehattan, when Rarity runs off in dramatics about someone's fashion, AJ doesn't roll her eyes or scoff, she smiles. Oftentimes, their conflicts are very common domestic conflicts romantic couples face. Applejack's Day Off is about a woman's inability to balance work and life and find time to properly spend with her partner, causing her partner to feel neglected.

By season seven, they're actively participating in each others' interests. Any problems or conflicts that arise are dealt with, and they come out the other end stronger and closer. In Honest Apple, AJ pretty much spells out why their relationship works so well: even though she doesn't understand fashion, she can recognize and appreciate how much work it takes and wants to respect that. When she realizes her mistake in the episode, AJ goes above and beyond to fix things and apologize to Rarity. They care about each other so much.

The two go out of their way, sacrificing their personal desires and beliefs and doing things they normally wouldn't, to make the other happy. That's just love.

There's Simple Ways, where AJ gets stuck in an unwanted love triangle between Rarity and her hipster crush. And her frustration and anger can be so easily interpreted as AJ finding herself in a terrible position; the girl she loves wants another man, and that man wants her.

I dunno. I've always had a preference for opposites attract ships, but Rarijack's stuck with me like a brain worm because they have the perfect chemistry. The way they show they care, or do things for each other, I've always read it as the truest representation of romance in the show.

[cubbihue]

Have there been times the Turner parents have suspected something but shrugged it off?

They have never suspected Timmy Turner of anything! Despite often expressing regret or disappointment, they still very much love their son! And all the benefits he brings them!!

The Turners are a well established family in the neighborhood. It wouldn't bode them well to go around casting doubt against their own son. It'd affect their reputation terribly!

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[paperglader]

they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr

[strayswolf]

When Duke is overwhelmed, he flashes to Bruce—kind, parental Bruce, not Batman—to help him calm down and reorganize his thoughts to get himself back in the game and find a way out of a bad situation. (Also, Duke really just wants his dad. 🥺)

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures, Season Three, Ep. 118, One Bad Day Part II

[bacchuschucklefuck]

space sweepers but they're delivery people and are at no point on screen through the entire movie

[taxinealkaloids]

horrible children who are. so so mean to each other

[boinin]

Chapter 271 spoilers

So, a couple of interesting things about chapter 271, which is all from Rin's POV and mostly in flashbacks. The main reveal was about the Itoshi parents.

They're not particularly important figures in Rin's life, but apparently this is not due to neglect. The parents in this chapter seem conflicted in how to raise and guide their children, rather than actively harmful in their parenting. The worse you can say about them is that they seem hands off. Sae does the heavy lifting when it comes to consoling and advising Rin, not their mom or dad.

What's most interesting to me, in terms of Rin, is that they're never fully depicted. Rin's memory shows them in detail, but never with eyes. Compare this to how he recalls Sae, his kindergarten teacher and fellow kindergarteners. Even the bloody pigeons are well rendered in his memory—but not his parents.

Lastly, the body language of the parents speaks volumes. Rin and Sae's mom is somewhat present in their lives, or at least tries to be despite her own doubts. Their dad though? Really avoidant. His body language is evasive, and the only time he seems truly present is when he's comforting his wife.

As an aside, while their dad has dark hair, Sae looks just like him now that he's older. Their mom has lighter hair like Sae, but the way her hair sits looks like Rin's. She's also willowy and tall like Rin. Nice seeing how they both inherited different things from their parents.

Other than that? The panels of baby Rin trying to be a Kaiju are too damn cute. We're starting to get a sense of where he started, and how those natural instincts of his got twisted and repressed over time. I really liked this development, even if it refutes my theory about what his ego was.

The other thing that's really clear this chapter is how protective Sae is towards Rin. He steps in without a second thought to take his mother's reprimand about the broken toys—even though their mom seems to know he's lying about it. He's quick to suggest taking Rin out of the house for ice cream when he senses his little brother feeling bad.

Sae's aim seems to be to cushion Rin from every bad thing, whether or not it'd be ultimately beneficial for Rin to undergo that experience. Which makes you wonder—how does his outburst post-Spain fit into that agenda?

[senseearly]

One thing that I always think about post-dungeon recovery Mithrun who got home is that people were probably used to talking about him while he was still in the room.

Misiril's squad used to that when he was still in their care. Questions towards him were quickly redirected to others when he wouldn't (couldn't) answer their questions -- where was the rest of his squad? what happened to the demon? how did he even end up like this? Asking or talking to Mithrun is a pointless effort. So they stopped doing that.

And Mithrun, he's gotten used to this set-up, not like he could bring himself to care.

When his caretakers and visiting family started doing it, he continued to be apathetic to them (although, the numbness from this large, gaping hole in his chest makes him think that he used to care).

The caretakers would do their duties, but behind his back, they would probably gossip about Mithrun's chances of recovery. Others think there is still hope, a lot of them think this is going to be permanent. Which is good, at least to their business, because Mithrun's brother pays a lot to make sure he is alive. And Mithrun...is not in the state to do that himself. They at least try to whisper when they're around Mithrun, keep their voices low or mention him under an alias or a codename. But Mithrun knows they are talking about him. He is the elephant in the room.

His visiting family is less nice. They take one look at him and weep -- not out of worry, or pity, or sadness -- but of shame. There is no way they can show him to others anymore, they bemoan. There is no way he can represent himself as a member of the House of Kerensil, they cry. He's just like his brother! And, once upon a time, that comment would've hurt Mithrun, a stab right into his heart. But all he feels is a gaping numbness that cannot be filled (It used to be full, he can't help but think).

I wish he had died, someone from his family said while he was within earshot. And Mithrun, barely alive but still breathing, cannot bring himself to care.

The only person that I think would be delighted to see him alive, at least, is his brother. I can see him visiting Mithrun whenever he can (at least in elf time terms). Talking to him as if he can respond, asking him about things when Mithrun can't bring himself to answer. At some point, Mithrun's brother stopped talking to him when he visits; instead, he would just sit next to Mithrun and watch the birds and the flowers. He would drink tea and Mithrun would do nothing.

But once in a while, Mithrun's brother would tell him, I'm glad you came home, I'm glad you're still alive.

[mollysunder]

Before the first season of Arcane premiered Riot released this interactive visual novel for the Riot x Arcane event. The setting was a hybrid of LoL and Arcane's universe, Piltover literally on top of Zaun, Cait is the Sheriff, but characters like Silco exist. The whole premise for the story is that Jinx stole some hextech and tapped into the Arcane oand opened a rift between worlds.

That's a lot. Personally I enjoyed this more to just see some characters out in the wild. Silco gets to be his charming self to you, the self-insert reader that's trying to find the culprit of the heist, which he knows was his kid.

Here's Jayce hating on Silco for something Jinx did.

This came out before the show did, so it's interesting to see how the game wants us perceive the characters' dynamics before we get further depth from the show. Most of it's related to Jinx because she makes herself the center of controversy.

For characters like Vi, who's already an enforcer that works directly under Sheriff Caitlyn in this world, she's clearly over Jinx's actions and wants to squash any further escalations.

Sevika is just as harsh and plainly sick of Jinx. I do find it interesting that the novel makes it clear tha Sevika believes that Jinx deserves some kind of punishment, though Jinx did endanger them all by ripping realities into eachother.

The only sympathetic voice outside of Silco in this story comes from Viktor, who after finding out Jinx was responsible for the Rift between realities asks you to remember that she's a real person that lived a life just like him. He goes so far as to contemplate another way to solve the situation and avoid a confrontation that may end with terrible consequences. (It's wild because the show then dedicates a whole scene to him defusing one of her bombs).

My favorite part is near the end where Silco tries to stop Jinx from harnessing anymore Arcane energy because it threatens to upend their reality.

I WISH they got to talk like this to eachother in the show, but so much was happening already. Even better Jinx gets the last words in and it justlays out what's ALWAYS been there.

This scene helped me understand that Jinx was always going to fire her rocket at the council, because she and Silco have both always been motivated to by power. They both know what it's like to be perceived as "weak" and they way it destroyed their lives respectively. It's kind of the reverse of what Mel and Ambessa have going on, you've got the diplomatic intrigue parent and the militarily minded daughter who wants to go further and absolutely will when you're not looking. And that's always been the thing with Jinx, if you give her any form of power, either a gun, a grenade, a rocket, or even magic she will take it and she will use it.

Right after this confrontation you have to defeat Jinx with the Power of Friednship or something (it's been a while). But even as put an end to the near calamity Jinx created there's at least one voice before it ends affirming Jinx's personhood.

It's weird honestly, Jinx didn't turn into vapor or anything, the story's pretty vague about what happens as you try to defeat her.

Well the novel's good when it's good anyway.

[writer-room]

Honestly the funniest thing about TDP to me is that Rayla for some reason always thinks Callum isn't 100% ride-or-die with her on any given situation. Seriously, she could decide she's jumping off a cliff and he'd do it too--oh wait.

I get that half of it is 'protecting' him but like. Girl he has been ready to die and kill for you since the first snake chain incident. It has not lightened up since. In fact its gotten worse. She's his special little guy and if anything happens to her he will kill everyone in the room and then himself. She physically cannot ever sacrifice herself for anyone because Callum WILL be following her straight into the afterlife in no less than a minute. I'm fully convinced he can and would go even further than Claudia and he'd barely have to think on it for five seconds before shrugging like "damn this sucks, can't believe I have to turn evil" "you literally don't have to--" "no I'm gonna"

And honestly I think that's peak teenagers first girlfriend behavior.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

End of Empathy (time for violence)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[youngpettyqueen]

truly a crime we didnt get to see more of Miles' reaction to Julian being augmented because I think he should've punched Richard Bashir in the face

[seen-the-stars]

thinking about gorgug and the thistlesprings. thinking about how wilma & digby have gone their whole life trying to raise gorgug as a sweet, non-violent kind if guy. how they were so fixated to prove their families wrong that they didn't realise it wasn't healthy for their son. that they've been loving gorgug despite his rage for so long that they haven't even considered to love him with it, because of it.

thinking about lydia barkrock who's been continuously raging for 20 years, and how her rage is so special and noble. thinking about ragh who's grown up with a barbarian half-orc parent. the fact that despite all he's been through, he was never ashamed of his rage.

thinking about autistic gorgug, who's been masking his rage for all his life, being in porter's class where he's told that if he isn't boiling angry all the time he's useless. how he sees all the kids around him having no issue engaging with their rage. if he ever thinks, "why am i the only person who is struggling with this?" or "fig's not even a barbarian why can she do it and i still can't fucking get it?" or "what does everybody want from me and can they just please fucking agree instead of pulling me in 5 different directions at once all of the time??"

wondering if gorgug ever sees the barkrocks together and feels that quiet jealousy bubbling. if he reprimands himself instantly because it's not fair and ragh deserves this and his own parents aren't bad people, they're just.. different. maybe a little too wrapped up in their families' prejudice to allow them to be even the littlest bit of right.

thinking about lydia barkrock looking at this kid who's never been taught that it's okay to feel his feelings, all of them. wondering if she sees ragh's struggle with his identity mirrored in gorgug. does she feel guilty, for not noticing her son was so afraid to be who he is? does she wish she would have been more there, more open, more supportive? does she ever look at gorgug biting down his rage and think "don't do this, kid, don't go down that path, look at how much damage it did to my son"? does she consider talking to the thistlesprings about it? does she know about their parenting?

thinking about gorgug and ragh, having support in the aspect of their life they didn't really need– gorgug in his sexuality, ragh in his rage. do they bond, over this? do they joke about swapping parents sometimes? do they support each other in the ways their parents couldn't do for them?

[lumityfication]

one thing about season 2 that i loved was imogen’s unintentional ignorance abt queerness bc she wasn’t vilified for not fully being able to understand what her friends were going through. personally, in my life i’m surrounded by people who are super accepting of queerness but not all of them are queer themselves, and i felt like it was a simultaneously funny and heartwarming representation of those friends and family members. like, you don’t necessarily have to always say the right thing for people to feel supported by you, as long as they know you’re trying and wanting to relate.

i.e. the scene w nick, charlie, and imogen after she yells at ben, when she’s like “everything would be so much easier if i was just into girls!” and they’re like “umm… not exactly but i get what you mean!”, and when she just assumes sahar is straight when she’s actually bi!! very funny but i feel like it also clearly comes from a place of love and support for her queer friends and wanting to relate to them which i thought was sweet. also when she hugs nick after he comes out to her and she says “i don’t really know how i’m supposed to react”… i just loved that moment and her admitting that felt so sweet and honest and realistic.

idk i’m just rambling and i also know that they hinted at her having a crush on sahar at the end but for most of the season she did function as the token straight friend and i really loved how they wrote her character in that way!!