#oh yeah. hey fellow queer

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"normal" meaning "unquestionable" & the embrace of that cropping up anywhere such as an aim to be on the unquestionable side of a Normal / Weird binary, thus surely being a comfortable effortless indelible version of Good that stems from "just be normal"

ppl out here like freud 2.0 where well they had the sufficiently normal Nuclear Household family(tm) experience so they're sufficiently normal for it, versus the weirdos who had the Questionable family times so as to end up with Issues, surely unlike all those who are Family Issue free, i.e. normal, no question. like how also Going To School is Normal, so of course there's that idea that anyone who didn't go to school normal style or did but Did That Wrong are the people made Weirder with Issues. & when what's Normal is what's Good is what's Unquestionable it's like why would i need to question it when it's so normal? why wouldn't some rando asshole nepo man be Meritous & Good at business when he's so Successful at it. speaks for itself, same as Your role of being treated entirely differently does, this can't be questioned, blame it on your own failures; again how the supposedly "questionable" experiences (unlike other ones, which need no Legitimate questioning) are pathologized like. people talking about disabled ppl's lacking "social skills" being this meaningful Driver of ableism just like poor people's lacking "financial literacy" being that darn cause of classism & resource extraction, the already Questioned vulnerable [you're just doing it wrong / failing] people are the cause of their own mistreatment, Normal people who are so socially & financially successful are helpless, this victim blaming (can't question it. Normal) sure totally doesn't speak to abuse being "normal" as well

which, good thing abuse totally isn't Normal i.e. in the territory of unquestionable things (with, obviously, the idea that Abuse (Real abuse, if you like) must be Exceptional in addition to, if not to Really be, "obviously" questionable) since if something can't be questioned then surely it's also How Things Were In The Beginning, Are Now, & Ever Shall Be (catholic prayer paraphasing re: god, for referential context) & there's just nothing to do but invest in & play into it For Success & resent / punish / try to eliminate disruption, like people just existing but doing it Weird, c'mon, be a better person please, obviously....meanwhile people out here approaching queerness in a way that accepts & acts according to the unquestionable normal of abuse of queerness, such that oh the "abnormality" of being queer (that is, "normal" people's abuse in the face of awareness of queerness) is unquestionable, such that Oh No, investment in that abuse now & forever world without end amen, & now punching down on the people who are just Being Weird & Disrupting this embrace of the norm: radfems invested in "all bodies will be classed as men & women & the former abuse the latter" & hate women who already disrupt this premise; pointing out ace exclusionism as terf logic just applied in the different context where queer vs nonqueer binary is neatly detected just as the gender binary is & people who already prove that & the way it's defined is not the case are the real problems, infiltrating Unquestionable (Normal) Queerness & delegitimizing it i.e. being The Cause of e.g. homophobic abuse, which will also unquestionably exist, so if we're gonna blame someone as Needing To Change it'll have to be uhhh already also affected Weird people who are ruining things, they're the Real causes of this abuse, so they're basically men, basically cis, basically straight. boooo to trans ace bi pan aro nonbinary gnc people....hardest to be binary gender "same sex" "romantic" "visible" Truly Queer couple currently holding hands in public or in front of family, & it's You Mfs who make it harder, not, yknow, the people who were already always embracing & perpetuating the abuse bolstering Normal(tm) Cishet Just Being Normal. and of course don't forget going after poly people & others disrupting / not accepting premises about Unquestionable Relationship Structures/Requirements. so not just being normal

also the beloved concept broken out that, of course, Being Normal = Being Good, b/c hello, unquestionable?? where it's like meaningless ideas that abuse is Abnormal like ":( hurt people hurt people" (inherently a framing to counter any response to [person is hurting me] that's not silent secret sympathy forever i guess. nobody's using this catchphrase to argue for Hey Quick let's all intervene to stop someone being hurt, lest they go on to hurt anyone themselves) like & yet everyone is hurt, yet not everyone is doing shit where these arguments are broken out after they're already getting away with nonsense & we're telling others to just stop complaining, while also not everyone isn't getting shit on for being "disruptive" & perchance the real hurtful problems for trying to Stop being shitted on, or just have a little more breathing room to day to day live while it happens. everyone's hurt bitch let's get you some "what's the actual patterns & context of supported power imbalance made emergently evident by whose choices & life are constrained & undermined & made smaller" like. or the expanded idea as that well all abuse comes from Being abused, i.e. the Cycle, never mind that abuse is everywhere as per its being Normal, & nobody's intervening every time it manifests despite its supposed exceptionality thus rareness & supposed indication that someone's Being abused to cause it. just gotta roll with it, wow. & pathologize being victim to it, abuser in the making, Vulnerable People are dangerous, those insulated & given more access to systemically backed power in an oh so Normal way are surely oh so Safe as well. the very rich families are all lovely havens. the abused people are treated so well & embraced & supported by all the more Normal people they encounter, certainly not Also isolated, bullied, victim blamed by these Normal friends family coworkers new partners randos in public randos who are "professionals"

but yknow uh literally just be normal lol. aaand post. and like "lol being Anti Being Normal? just like a weirdo" like yeah of course. and what, i'm gonna try to win the heart & mind of someone like "of course you have blue hair & pronouns" & convert them, as would definitely happen if only all transgenderists were Normal about it? and the perspective of "what Unquestionable Good is ever actually coming from striving to get to point at Others as Weird" involves going like "nooo i wanna see myself & be seen as Just Being Normal" instead of like having ideas / arguments about how to be considerate towards people which can be articulated in any other way & involve effort & said consideration (ft. anything able to be questioned)

[atmilliways]

Wrong On The Money (20)

part 20 of ?? | 514 words | Teen+

Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr

Summary:

Eddie is still trying to scrape his jaw off the floor of the RV when Robin pokes her head in.

20.

Eddie is still trying to scrape his jaw off the floor of the RV when Robin pokes her head in. (The least of it all is that he can check off that one resolution about Dustin that he’d noted in triplicate.)

“Steve told me to check on you,” she offers, cautious and suspicious in a way that suggests she has no idea why. (At least there’s that.)

“Ain’t he a peach,” Eddie mutters. (He kind of is. That’s the problem.)

“Yeah. So. . . .” Robin inches her way up the stairs. “What’s up, kittypup?”

He snorts, and hops up to sit on the kitchenette table properly. “Oh, you know. Just riding the waves of some pretty damn earth shattering revelations about Steeeeve Harrington.”

Robin doesn’t even attempt to hide her smirk and ventures a little further inside the RV. “Been there. He has a lot more layers than you’d think after being around for his King Steve era.”

“Right?” Eddie sighs. “Rich parents, popular, chicks love him—not a douche?” He shakes his head, waves his hands as though clearing his own words from the air. “No way, man. No way. That flies in the face of all the laws in the universe.”

Also his own personal Munson doctrine, but he’s already torn that to shreds on his own time and doesn’t like to think about it.

The thing is, the more he gets to know Robin, the more certain he is that she would rip him to pieces if she knew what he’s done. Which sucks, because he also has a growing suspicion there’s more than one reason she wouldn’t care that Steve was at a gay bar, and . . . he just didn’t know that there were other queers in Hawkins. He would have loved to know that, to feel a little bit less like a freak burrowing into even the outcast fringes of society. If he’d run into Steve inside the club, already drunk, he would’ve happily danced with him and saved the double-take for the morning.

“I should go,” he says abruptly, hopping down from the table. “See if Dustin wants to practice with our new gear and shit.”

“Sure,” Robin agrees with a shrug, turning and leading the way back out. “And hey—as a fellow newbie to this group, I’m here if you do need to freak about all this shit, okay? If it’s in there, definitely best to get it out of your system sooner rather than later.”

It’s not what she’s talking about, but Eddie almost wants to say something. He’s not sure what, but something. Ask her if she’s a friend of Dorothy, maybe. It lodges in his throat like a stone, though, and when he swallows it settles heavy in his stomach.

If he’s learned anything about himself recently, it’s that he’s no hero outside of D&D. He sees danger, and he turns heel to run.

So he says, “No, I’m good,” and trots off to find Dustin, trying to ignore the feeling of Robin’s eyes on his back as though she can see and judge all his secrets.

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

CW: vent, transphobia, anon hate, anger inducing

Already blocked that transphobic anon, and I know I shouldn't let them bother me, but it's pushed me to the limit

The amount of hatred and transphobia I both get and see from others is disheartening.

The treatment you get whether you're born female or present female or feminine in any way regardless of your sex or gender is horrible. If you're a cis woman, if you're a feminine cis man, if you're a trans masc who hasn't/doesn't want to transition (or still very much enjoys being feminine), if you're trans fem, if you're any type of feminine whatsoever.

When I was a child, I was taught that I was born evil because I was born with a vagina and uterus. I'm still told that to this day.

I still suffer from misogyny, I still have "women's health issues", I still get treated poorly, I still get talked over, I still have my intelligence questioned, and I do not pass as a man at all nor do I really want to. Now I suffer from transphobia alongside it.

I don't even want to be a man or a woman. I want to be my own thing. And I am my own thing.

People get angry with me for the trans thing, for the masc thing, for the nonbinary thing, for the vagina-having thing, for the androgyne thing, for every single thing about me.

So I get transphobia from cishet people angry that I'm trans even though I don't "look the part", and who call me "they" or "she", no matter how many times I politely ask for them to call me "he". Then question my intelligence because I was born with a uterus.

And I get transphobia from fellow queer people who think that I'm evil and go "why can't you just be a girl? Why can't you just be a feminine nonbinary who uses she/they? Why do you have to be a traitor?" Then question my competence because of my labels and pronouns.

And they both call me "girl" then get angry at me for saying, "hey that makes me feel dysphoric please stop." And they claim "but I was using it in a gender neutral way!!! People say 'dude' all the time!!!"

I don't say "dude" or "girl" at people unless I know for sure that they're okay with it, because it's called respect.

How about we all just stop thinking in the binary please. I'm not a binary person. I use binary descriptors but I'm very clearly nonbinary. I mean that to the fullest extent.

I'm a mascfem androgyne who wants to have both sets of genitals. Yes I'm technically "trans masc" and like to use masculine descriptors and even call myself gay and achillean. But that doesn't mean I'm strictly binary, especially not whatever binary is being thrown around right now.

I'm very thankful and glad I have friends who support me, but unfortunately there are so many people who want me to just be a girl again.

So yeah, I get stressed out whenever I get messages and anons from people who spew their hatred of anything trans masculine then say "oh by the way I'm not being transphobic :)"

Yes you are.

You're being putrid to a stranger because of this thing you made up in your head.

I'm going to block the next person, I don't care how long we've been friends, who posts anything hateful about any queer identity. I've already blocked plenty of transphobic, biphobic, enbyphobic, and acephobic people.

Please just respect others' identities. Yes, you can go "ugh that's so stupid and lame" in your head, but please do not spiral out of control and start hating individuals over it.

[positivelybeastly]

Would you consider beast being a closet bisexual @

"I'm an open heterosexual, thank you very much, and I would recommend that in future, you keep such speculation to yourself."

"Ehehehey, well, wow, that's quite the question, not often I get accused of being a closet anything, but, ah, pretty firmly straight over here, friend."

"Despite what you may have heard from the press or a certain ex-girlfriend of mine, I am quite firmly in the heterosexual camp."

"I think someone needs to have gone on a date sometime in the last year to be qualified to be anything sexual, no?"

"Asexual aromantic. And if you ask again, I shall be displeased."

"Do you have a pulse? Are you happy with scalpels in the bedroom? Actually, your answer to that second question doesn't particularly matter, we'll get you warmed up in no time at all."

All right, so this is one of those moments where I have to pull back the curtain a little bit and talk about how I play a character who is canonically heterosexual, but whom I read to be bisexual because it's truer to the character as I find them.

Now, you know, I actually misremembered how this conversation went? I remembered Emma saying that Hank had never had so much as a gay thought, but that's not what she says here. She say that Hank has never had any kind of physical relationship with another man, and . . . you know what, I kind of believe that to be true.

Because as much as I fucking love THIS moment, it's not a relationship.

We can all agree that a kiss is not a relationship.

However.

. . . Guys, Hank is, like . . . really queer.

This post sums it up nicely, but yeah, Hank acts in a very over the top, dandified manner, over speaking and over-exaggerating everything about himself so that you won't pay attention to the blatantly obvious. He performs masculinity in a way that reads as overcompensating because he feels like he's been othered by his mutation.

There's also panels like this.

"Flirt with everything this side of Boy George."

Boy George being the androgynous gay icon of the 1980s, yes?

And this is coming from Hank's girlfriend, who he has admitted in dialogue to only really being with because she feels stable and safe and familiar, a tether to his old life in a time when he feels without a direction in life?

Like, this isn't me putting words into Hank's mouth, this is HIS dialogue during a time when he was arguably his most heterosexual! Yeah, you could just read it as him having a wandering eye, because he's a very flirtatious fellow, but that really isn't how it reads, is it? It reads as, I need reassurance I'm doing adult, normal things while my life goes weird, abnormal places.

It reads as, I think I'm kinda fucking queer but I'm too afraid to admit it.

Because lemme be real with you, this is Hank at his most heterosexual, but there's. Some. Stuff. Going on here.

"I was GOING to go out on a date with you, really pretty girlfriend, but then my MALE friend turned up and I just got so excited that I went out with my MALE friend and am basically hanging on his every word and eager to impress him, while the straight people at the table (Isaac and Dolly) are on an actual date, and Overmind sounded concerned about three wheeling a date when they asked to come with?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a gay man, and I have never been in just a towel around my best friend while he scrubbed another man's back, because that's just a little gay.

Hey, did you know Bobby's gay?

I don't bring that up for any real reason, just, you know.

And then there's Simon.

Oh boy is there Simon.

From Earth-763, but.

Like.

Come on, man.

When Logan and Hercules did this shit, people were celebrating in the streets because it confirmed bisexual Wolverine, but when Hank and Simon do it, no-one gives a fuck.

But that's an alternate universe. All they've done in 616 is kiss (GAY), so maybe it's just, you know, horsing around.

Right?

Hank, you don't look happy to be put down.

Hank never smiles like this on the X-Men. I'm not exaggerating. I've read X-Men comics for nearly 20 years, and Hank does not smile around other people like he does around Simon Williams. He looks fulfilled. He looks free. He looks delighted, constantly.

Are you two gonna fucking hold hands, like, WHAT?

And you know what, let's talk about the X-Men.

Scott, for someone who said very firmly that Hank wasn't gay before, you don't even throw that in there first?

Is it because of what comes next?

I'm - sorry? What in the FUCK are you trying to say to me?

And let's, for a moment, turn to Dark Beast. Because he has some words on the matter.

You know what, yeah, Dark Beast does seem like the idea to suck, fuck, thrust and kill his way through a Tuesday night, honestly.

And look, I know that alternate universes are shaky ground to be drawing conclusions from, but, like . . . this is. Getting to be rather a lot of very suggestive dialogue.

Look, I get that there's not quite the same amount of outright coding that Bobby had before he was forced out of the closet (Cloud, Emma Frost's prodding at his mind, all the stuff stacking up across Lobdell and Austen and Liu), but it's still . . . questionable. Isn't it? Like, at this point, I have to question why we think Hank has to be straight. Which is why I don't think he is.

So, now we get to the point of the evening where I pull at the curtain, because how Hank talks about himself in my threads works according to a certain kind of logic - canonically, as of right now, 21st of January 2024, he's officially straight, so any references to canon events will be as if he's 'straight' but actually just closeted bisexual. Because I care about continuity and keeping my facts straight and drawing as closely from the comics as possible - within reason - but my interpretation still takes precedence.

And my interpretation is that Hank, at any point in his life, is a bisexual man who feels afraid to admit it. But here's the question you're going to ask - WHY is he afraid to admit it?

You could go with an answer that draws on canon, and point out that when he tested the waters with coming out as gay, Scott and Emma both basically verbally smacked him and said he wasn't.

But that's not my style. I don't personally read it that way.

In my mind, Hank considers coming out to be That One Last Step Past Normal that goes too far. Like, it's one thing if he's a blue furred, canonically kinky, canonically weird, basically canonically bipolar, canonically psychologically damaged beast, but if he's a blue furred kinky weird bipolar psychologically damaged bisexual beast, that's the point where people will turn on him and be disgusted.

I could see him drawing that invisible line and deciding, I have to keep this one aspect of me to myself because I can't trust people to accept that from me. I think Hank has conditioned himself to believe that being accepted is something he has to earn over and over again, in part because of how Xavier schooled the X-Men's train of thought on that, but also because, unlike Nightcrawler, he knows what it's like to go from passing to not passing, and experiencing that scarred him in a way?

Like, one of the last bits of good Hank content we got before Krakoa was that Christmas special where he's back at his parents' for the holiday, and he can hear them talking from downstairs, and they're their usual lovely sweet selves, but they mention wanting grandkids, and . . . for someone whose bedrock, whose psychological wellbeing, is so incredibly dependent on other people, especially his parents and friends, I could see him being terrified of threatening that, even if it means he has to hide a part of who he is (perhaps unnecessarily).

There may be a degree of that where I'm projecting, because I had to deal with my dad being very heteronormative for a while after I realised I was gay, and even though I was certain he wouldn't reject me because of it, it felt easier to just not challenge that and let it slide because What If, you know?

But I feel like it makes sense for how Hank is, with his very tenuous relationship with feeling accepted, and I feel like this also accounts for why Emma 'saw' that he was straight in New X-Men, because he's wound himself into a psychological knot to the point where he reads as straight telepathically, even though he doesn't act like it and isn't.

If there weren't hints, I'd be inclined to be like, okay, maybe I'm just reading it this way because I see myself in Hank and him being a bit more like me makes me happy, but then there are GENUINE hints. The Exiles relationship, the fact that everyone basically treats Hank as Simon's emotional support, EVEN HIS GIRLFRIEND, and then the DeMatteis comment from Vera about how he flirts with everything this side of Boy George.

This isn't looking at pre-Krakoa Logan and Scott and thinking, yeah, they have tension, they want to fuck, this is looking at this guy who is extremely sex positive, flirtatious, open minded, and hearing from his girlfriend that he doesn't confine himself just to the purely feminine.

And it's also, like . . . like, I've talked about this with my boyfriend, and people love to throw out the YOU'LL JUST SHIP ANYTHING accusation, and maybe that's kinda true for some people, but I find I don't do that. Like, there are people out there who ship Hank with Cyclops, and I'm like . . . sure, fine. I don't personally see it, but you go for it, my dude.

If I genuinely did just want Hank to be an action figure that I smash with other action figures in a gay way, I feel like I'd have a stronger reaction, but instead, I look at the way he is with Bobby, and with Simon, and even, to a degree, with Logan (pre Krakoa, obvs), and I'm like . . . this is not the way a straight man acts. This reads as a bisexual man who doesn't feel like he can be 100% himself because he feels as though he's already asking a lot of people to accept him as he presents himself to be.

Hank's entire character from, like, moment one makes so much sense when you understand that he's basically always playing someone else. Sometimes it's who he wants to be, sometimes it's who he thinks other people need him to be, a lot of the time it's who people want him to be - like, I was reading the 2004 Nightcrawler solo the other day, and Kurt is internally narrating about how everyone on the X-Men is just an emotional basket case EXCEPT Hank, and I'm like . . . THIS.

THIS RIGHT HERE, is what the problem is! No-one on the X-Men is capable of seeing that Hank is constantly performing, and just how exhausting it is. That's why Simon is such a breath of fresh air, because Simon doesn't need him to perform, he just needs Hank to be . . . fuck, man, he just needs Hank to be happy, because that makes him happy, and the sheer lack of self-interest inherent in that dynamic is such a GIANT part of why I think Hank finds Simon so attractive. Like, imo, Scott's so insistent that Hank isn't gay during the New X-Men arc because of all of this, because he fell for the act, because he thinks this is just another joke that Hank is gonna duck behind.

Scott is SO INSISTENT that Hank isn't gay, and it's like, bro . . . Scoot . . . how do you know? You barely know what you want on a good day, and you think that just 'cause you and Hank hung around in the OG X-Men locker rooms for three years that you know him better than anyone else? He was on the Avengers and the Defenders and he has so many friends that you just DON'T KNOW ABOUT. How. Do. U. Kno. Scoot. Like, in universe, if Hank was working his way up to maybe coming out, and using the excuse of a joke to do it, THAT kind of reaction, and Emma TELLING him that he isn't gay, would push me RIGHT back in the closet.

If there wasn't coding, if there wasn't a genuine basis to this, it wouldn't have come up in Exiles, honestly. Like . . . okay, so multiversal stories are an excuse to do off the wall shit, right, and especially make characters gay just to push and prod and see what actually changes, right, like Governor Logan and Hercules, but they can also reveal a good amount of truth about a character out of what DOESN'T change.

And on a meta level, like, SOMETHING made Jeff Parker think Hank and Simon worked. He didn't pick Hank and Bobby, he didn't pick Hank and Hercules, he didn't pick Hank and Warren - Hank has NO shortage of male friendships you could pick from, but he picked Simon, and it's because there's enough there that even if you don't buy it for 616, it makes sense for a multiversal thing. Which means there's SOMETHING THERE.

And Ben Percy, cursed be his name, only added to that with X-Force. The idea that Simon is somehow going to be the catalyst for whatever awakening of classic, GOOD Hank is going to happen is just so . . . like, he still clearly cares for Abigail? They were on panel doing the eye socket thing? But, and this is partly because of who Abigail is, the narrative did not change because of her presence. But it does when Simon's around.

Yeah, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes a cigar is something to unpack. Like, I really Do Not Know how Hank became 'the straightest X-Man,' because A) have you fucking read Avengers and Defenders, and B) even discounting ALL of that . . . do you not find Hank's way of acting to be a little . . . you know . . . effete? Like, yeah, it's an act, he's playing the dandy, he's offsetting his appearance, but there are other things you can do to offset the Beast.

So why does he always go back to the brightly coloured suits, the loud fashion, the high energy, the camp, the billion dollar words - to put it bluntly, why does he always seem to act just a lil' fruity?

So, yes, in my mind, he's a closeted bisexual man, and that's how I play him. Thank you for coming to my lecture.

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

*materializes into existence*

I've been inspired by 👑 anon talkin' about trans!Virgil, and so I present to you... transfemme!Remus.

This is all in a highschool au setting bc Brainrot (lol).

Remus, who keeps her name but usually goes by "Re" or "Rem" bc well her closest friends and her brother call her that anyway. Rem that's like "gender is a fuckin' puddle on the damn floor, it spilled and it's sticky and it get fuckin' everywhere like juice and glitter" and dresses whatever fuckin' way they want to (which can be inconsistent styles). Rem who feels she/they is the best fit for them. Rem who has a very supportive twin brother, and Roman's first question when she came out to him was "Can I still call you Re?" and Rem was like "yeah :,)" and thus some happy tears from Rem because, oh hey my brother's really there for me oh oh okay, akdjasdasjd.

Rem who has a very supportive and chill-about-gender-because-screw-gender-roles type of boyfriend.

Virgil is that boyfriend who gives a death glare to anyone who even looks like they're about to be mean to his partner about her being trans. He went on anxious autopilot once when Rem wasn't feeling well and asked them if they needed period stuff. It took both of them a second to be like "wait" and they laughed about it bc Rem doesn't get periods nor have they ever gotten them. Virgil is that boyfriend who sees Rem in literally anything and gets this lil awkward blush. His joyfriend is pretty and he is very queer, thank you very much. Rem always teases him when he blushes at her, but she feels secure in the fact that her partner finds her pretty in anything she chooses to wear.

Omg, the amount of fuckin' jokes Rem would make out of being trans. They won't ever stop. They see a semi-truck on the road that has the "trans-" prefix in its name and makes a joke out of it. Roman and Virgil will laugh and snort and snicker with her about it. Trans jokes are fuckin' hilarous (says a trans person), especially when you're making it with fellow trans peeps (*cough cough* trans/nonbinary!Janus is here too *cough cough*).

When Rem is feeling dysphoric, or when she sees herself in the mirror and can only see a him staring back and it feels off? Well, ya see, their brother is always there for them when they're feeling low or bad. They're twins; they've been through thick and thin, even through all of their arguments and bickering, they always make sure the other knows they won't leave. And of course Virgil is there for his wonderful girlfriend and her friends (Janus, especially) are there within seconds. They've got an entire squad of supportive and genuinely caring people by their side.

Rem who likes being called partner/girlfriend but joyfriend is her favourite.

And so yeah: transfemme!Remus :3

T4T Dukexiety my fucking beloved I fucking L O V E this!!! It's S O fucking sweet at how supportive Re's boyfriend and twin along with their friends are <3 She's a transfem baddie who doesn't give a fuck about how she dresses and their Emo boyfriend won't hesitate to sock a bitch if they even dare try to fuck with his joyfriend (Also unrelated note I am literally giving you the title CEO of Wholesome Creativitwins Oatmeal because oml /positive)

[ijustreallylikepirates]

I got an anonymous fanfic request so I’m going to be merging it with my fic on Alec’s birthday to just make it a bit longer. Hope that’s not much of an inconvenience or a bother.

I hope y'all enjoy this. I put my heart and soul into these fics just for y'all. Yall are a great group of people. Tumblr people are better than real people. Anyways I’m gonna stop yapping and here’s the fic.

Btw this fic is gonna be like really long so sorry bout that lol

Disclaimer: swearing, making out (shocker)

Finally, the day I’ve been waiting for for so many months. It’s finally my birthday.

I went full out for Nick on his birthday so I think he might spoil me like he tends to do even when it isn’t my birthday.

I don’t know what he’s planning but it’s gotta be something good with all that money he has. Perks of having a rich boyfriend.

I don’t only love him for his money though, if that’s what you’re thinking. There’s so much I love about him, like his personality. He’s so sweet, he treats me well, the way he always has a dirty joke for me. We have created so many amazing memories together it’s just hard to not love him. He also has the prettiest hair that just swoops when he turns his head in every which direction. His eyes are just so blue I get lost in them like I’m swimming in the Aruban ocean every time I stare into them. His skin is just so soft that when I hold his hand, it feels like I’m holding hands with a marshmallow.

I do quite love the expensive things he buys me though.

As I’m laying in my bed reading Fellow Travelers in the dim lamplight of my bedroom, Nick slowly opens the door and looks at me. Surprised to see me awake he says, “Good morning, birthday boy.”

He pushes the door open completely, and walks over to my bed. I smile as he pushes back the covers and lays his head on my pillow right next to me.

He kisses me on the cheek and asks, “Whatcha reading?”

I wrap my arm around his shoulders and show him the book cover. “Fellow Travelers.”

He lays his head slightly onto my shoulder and asks, “What’s it about?”

“It’s about these two guys Hawkins and Tim who fall in love in the 1950s which obviously wasn’t a very great time for queer people. So they just had to keep their love a secret and make it through the McCarthy Red Scare trials and the Lavender Scare.”

Nick stares at the words on the pages. “I have no idea what any of that means but okay.”

I just laugh. “If you’d read it, you would understand.”

“I haven’t picked up a book since what, high school?” He laughs. “Unless you read it to me like a toddler.”

I poke his nose with my finger, then kiss him. “You really want me to?”

“Hey, what the heck, love. I love hearing the sound of your voice so yes please.”

I laugh and kiss him again. “You’re so stupid. I can’t believe I’m dating you.”

“You love me.”

“I do actually.”

I put my bookmark in between the pages of my book, then place it down on the bed next to me. I turn to the side and wrap my arms around Nick’s back.

My face is now very close to his. He just smiles and places his hands on my waist.

He kisses me. “I have big plans for us today.”

I smirk. “Oh yeah? How much money do you plan on spending on me today?”

He kisses my forehead. “Don’t worry about that, love. Just kiss me.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever, British boy.”

“Hey, you’re British too so-”

But I obviously can’t let him finish that sentence.

I quickly press my lips onto his. His eyes widen and a noise that sounded like a tiny scream escapes from the back of his throat.

When I pull away, he blushes and says, “Wow. I fucking love it when you kiss me like that.”

“What?”

“Like when you kiss me when I’m in the middle of a sentence. Or just when I don’t expect it at that moment. It’s my favorite thing ever.”

I blush and run my fingers through his hair. “You’re actually stupid. I fucking love you so much.”

He nuzzles his head into my chest. “I love you even more,” he mumbles into my chest.

I remove my fingers from his hair and rub his back. I kiss the top of his head.

We laid there for a while. He sneakily placed kisses on my chest a couple times, and I held him close to me, listening to his quiet breathing.

But after a while, he lifts his head and kisses me. “Well, we should probably get up now. It’s been a while, we can’t just lay here in your bed forever, birthday boy.” He sits up and pushes himself to the edge of my bed. “Come on. I made you breakfast.” He picks himself up off the bed and walks out the door.

Before getting up, I lay in my bed and stare at the door, the blanket pulled up over my chin. God, I love this man.

I throw the blanket off, grab my book, and get up. As I walk out the bedroom door, he has set a plate on the table. I smile and walk over to the table. But I didn’t even notice what he had cooked for me.

On the plate sat Menemen, or Turkish scrambled eggs with tomatoes. Menemen is one of my favorite Turkish dishes of all time! I wonder how he knew?

I laugh and ask, "You went out of your way to make me a Turkish breakfast?" I pick up the fork next to the plate and spear my breakfast.

I fork the eggs into my mouth and...

Oh.

Oh. My. God.

I close my eyes and throw my head back. "Mm. This is so good!"

Nick giggles as I fork more eggs into my mouth. "Thank you. I wanted to make some kind of breakfast from Türkiye. Cause y'know, I thought you would like it considering you're always trying to get me to try Turkish food."

I laugh and fork another bite of egg into my mouth, then pick up my book in my other hand. "You spoil me."

He smiles and says, "You deserve it."

I just chuckle and open up the book. But before I can take the bookmark out of the book, Nick takes the book out of my hand and snaps it shut. "Jeez. If you want gay love stories, I'm right here."

I laugh as he places the book back down on the table next to me. I shake my head and finish the last couple bites of my breakfast.

When I set my fork down on my now empty plate, Nick quickly picks up the plate and brings it over to the sink. As he starts to wash the plate he asks me, "So how was it? Was everything alright?"

"Everything was delicious, Efem. Why do you ask?"

Nick raises an eyebrow at me and says, "Well, I just wanted to know because it's the first time I ever cooked Turkish food for you and it's also your birthday! I need your first meal of the day to be perfect!"

"Well, it definitely was perfect. Thank you so much."

"You're so much more than welcome, Alec. And of course I'm going completely out of my way to make sure you feel like the most special person on this Earth." He turns his head around and says, "Now go put on something nice. We're going out."

I just roll my eyes. "Alright. Whatever you say."

I get up from the chair and walk over to Nick. I give him a quick peck on the cheek before heading off to my bedroom.

I close the bedroom door behind me and start looking through the drawers in my bureau. I pick out a nice blue button-down shirt and some black dress pants. I slip on some ankle-high white socks and a pair of shiny black dress shoes. I pull a leather belt through the belt loops of my pants, then slip a navy blue overcoat over my arms.

I quickly scan the room. I grab my phone off my bedside table and put it in my back pocket. But just as I'm about to leave the bedroom, I remember something.

My wallet.

I know that it's my birthday and Nick probably won't let me spend any money, but I never leave the house without my wallet. Ever. Like if there is ever a situation where I need to show my ID or driver's license, they'll be there right in my back pocket. Or like, what if Nick forgets his wallet today?

I scan the tops of my nightstands, but don't see my wallet on either table. I do a quick search of the bedroom; in my drawers, under the bed, under my pillows, inside my bedsheets, everywhere I could think of.

Then, I have an epiphany.

Nick.

I roll my eyes and sigh. "Not this again. Nick!"

"Yeah?" he calls back from the other room.

"Did you steal my wallet again?"

Silence.

"Hello? Nick?"

More silence.

I sigh. I walk over to my bedroom door and walk out. "I swear. Nicholas fucking Milton, you give me my wallet back this-"

And that's when I saw what he was doing.

He was just standing there in the middle of the living room, his hands in the pockets of the cashmere suit jacket he now had on, my wallet lodged between his teeth.

And honestly? I definitely blushed.

I just stood there for a second, then look Nick in the eyes and say, "Nick."

He just smirks. Well, as well as he can with my wallet in his mouth.

I walk over to him and hold my hand out. "Give it back to me now."

He slowly shakes his head.

"Now."

A low giggle from the back of his throat.

I shake my head and close my hand around the wallet. He clamps his jaw down tighter on my wallet.

I pull on my wallet, but my hand slips. "Come on, give it back!" I try to pry it out again. "You're going to get teeth marks on my wallet. That was expensive!" Another pull. "Come on!"

He just looks at me blankly, that horrendous smirk on his face.

God, he's so frustrating! I groan loudly.

But then... I smirk.

"Oh, Nick..." I say, leaning closer to him. "If you give me back my wallet, I'll reward you."

From in between his teeth, he says something like, "Wih wha?" which I assume meant, 'With what?'

I lean even closer. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll kiss you. Maybe we could, I don't know..." I lean over and put my lips dangerously close to his ear. "Make out..." I whisper into his ear. I place a gentle kiss on his neck as I pull my face back.

He was frozen, his whole face completely red. I hold my hand up to his mouth and he unclamps his teeth. My wallet falls into my hand, and I close my hand tightly around the smooth leather. I do a quick check to see if he didn't take anything out of it, then slipped it into my other back pocket.

"Thank you," I say, tucking my hand behind his neck. I lean in and press my lips onto his.

He doesn't waste a second kissing me back. He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me close to him, kissing me harder.

His tongue brushes against mine as I push him hardly against the wall, making the room shake a little. One of the paintings even falls off the wall. But I'll fix that later.

I bring my hands down to his back, then start lifting up his cashmere suit jacket and white undershirt with my index, middle, and ring fingers.

I felt his hands trail down my waist and onto my ass. I press my body up against Nick's, warmth surging in between us.

I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. Or was it mine? No matter. Nick is so hot, I don't even care.

All that I could hear was my and Nick's breathing, the sound of his golden watch quietly ticking, and the occasional kissing noises. To be specific, very wet kissing noises.

He squeezes my ass as my hands start to trail up his back. His skin is so soft and warm.

I feel like I'm on the moon. We've made out many times before, but this just felt so much better. I don't know what was so special about today's makeout sesh. Maybe because it was my birthday. I don't know.

Wait...

My birthday! Nick is supposed to be taking me out today but we're up against the living room wall sharing saliva! And yes, before you germaphobes say anything about that sentence, I know how weird it is but like come on! It's Nicholas Milton iii, the hottest man on this earth!

I slowly pull away from Nick, a trail of spit stringing between our lips and breaking apart, spilling onto our bottom lips.

Nick goes in for another kiss, but I put my finger over his lips. "What time is it?" I ask him.

He pulls his hands from my ass and checks his watch. "11:00."

I retrieve my hands from his back and say, "We should get going." I back up from him.

He nods. "Just promise me you won't spend any money today. It's your day and you deserve to be treated like a princess."

I scoff and roll my eyes. "You already treat me like a princess every day, but okay. Come on now, the anticipation is killing me! I really want to know where you're taking me!"

He laughs. "Okay, okay! Just one more second. I have to grab something.

I watch as he walks into the other room. I raise my eyebrow when he comes back into the living room, holding something inside his cashmere suit jacket. That's...suspicious.

"Come on, let's go," he says, grabbing his car keys and opening the front door.

I look at him with my eyebrow raised, then follow him out the door and close the door behind me. We walk over to the car, and I climb into the passenger seat.

Nick opens the back door of the car. I pull down the sun visor and pretend to look at my hair in the mirror, but really, I watch as Nick slips something black and grey into one of those reuseable Stop&Shop bags. Very suspicious.

He then shuts the car door and walks over, climbing into the driver's seat. He shuts the door and starts up the engine.

I realize I still have the sun visor down, so I quickly run my fingers through my hair and pretend to look at it with a pout.

Nick leans over and cups my face in his hand. "Your hair looks fine, love." He kisses me on the cheek and shuts the sun visor. I blush as he puts the car in reverse and backs out of the driveway.

~

For the whole car ride I stared out the window with my legs crossed, trying to figure out where Nick was taking me.

But wait a minute...

I recognize this route!

This is the way to Barnes&Noble!

Nick really is spoiling me today, isn't he? Plus, I wonder what's in that bag in the back seat...

I turn my head to look at Nick and ask, "Are you taking me to Barnes&Noble?"

He smiles and nods. "Yep. I'm going to let you buy as many books as you want with my money."

My jaw drops. "Are you serious?"

"Mhm."

"Are you sure you want to let me do that?"

"Anything for you, baby."

I look back out the window and smirk mischievously. I rub my hands together and say, "Oh, you're about to go into debt."

Nick raises his eyebrow and says, "I'm starting to regret my decision."

I just laugh.

When he pulls into a parking spot in front of the Barnes&Noble and stops the car, I quickly jump out of the car and start running to the store.

"Come on!" I shout back to Nick as I jump up the curb.

"I'ma coming!" he shouts back, laughing in between sentences. "Wait up!"

I get to the front door and I look behind me. He's still running across the parking lot. I smirk and fling the door open as I shout, "Too slow!" and run through the door.

Nick laughs again and shouts, "Hey! Wait!" but the door shuts before he can make it there.

I don't even look back to check if Nick was behind me; I just ran behind one of the shelves. I started looking for books and piling a bunch into my arms. Hey! Nick said I could have as many as I wanted, so I'm picking up as many as I want.

But... I still want to be nice, so I'll limit myself to 20.

By the time Nick finds me, I have 19 out of the 20 books I limited myself to in my hands. Well... as good as I could hold them all anyway. I had them stacked in my arms, trying really hard not to drop them.

As soon as Nick sees me in the adult romance section, he rushes over to me. He laughs and asks, "Do you want some help with those?"

"Yes please," I say as I pile half the books into his hands.

Nick staggers a little, but quickly regains his balance and tightens his grip on my books. He huffs and asks, "What books did you even pick up?"

I look at the books and say, "Red White and Royal Blue, A Taste of Gold and Iron, Under the Whispering Door, In the Lives of Puppets, In Deeper Waters, Good Omens, Out of the Blue, Less, Kidnapped by the Pirate, the Apollo Ascending series, and the Shadowhunters Mortal Instruments series."

"Is that it?" Nick asks.

I just realized I have a guilty look on my face. "Yeah? I thought about it, and I realized I don't want you to spend that much money on me just for me to buy ink on dead trees."

Nick's eye twitched. "Alec... when I said you could buy as many books as you wanted, I meant it. Go fucking crazy. I don't care if you want to spend all my money on your ink on dead trees because it's your day and that's what's important to you. Go pick up some more fucking books and we're not leaving here until you have all the books you want."

I look at Nick, absolutely dumbfounded. "Oh... are you sure?"

Nick's eye twitches again. "Yes!"

"Like... 100% positive?"

"Yes!" Nick looks around. "But I think we need something to hold all these books though. Do they have like, something for us to put them all in?"

I consider this. "I don't think so. But you can ask one of the cashiers for one of those big paper bags."

Nick nods. "Alright. Come on, let's go get one."

He starts walking towards the front desk, me following closely behind him.

There was nobody checking out and there was only one cashier. Nick walks right up to the desk and says to the cashier, "Hello!"

The cashier looks up from her magazine but doesn't say anything.

"Uh, can I get one of those big paper bags?"

The cashier raises her eyebrow and picks up one of the paper bags from behind the desk. "This one?"

Nick nods enthusiastically. "Yes! That one!"

The cashier's face turns skeptical. "For what?"

Nick points at me and says, "I promised my boyfriend I'd buy him as many books as he wanted, and I really underestimated how many books he'd really buy."

The cashier just chuckles. "Are you going to actually come back and pay for them?"

Nick raises his eyebrow and lets out a small quiet gasp. "Are you calling me a criminal?"

"Just a genuine question, sir."

"Of course I'm coming back to pay for them! I'm too rich to start stealing shit!"

I laugh. "Stop flexing on your money."

He laughs too. "I'm just saying." He takes the bag from the cashier. "Thank you very much."

She laughs and picks up her magazine. "You're welcome. And happy shopping!"

I take the bag from Nick and dump my books into it. He dumps the books that I made him hold into the bag.

I look up at the cashier and say, "Oh, I'm definitely happy," before walking off to another shelf.

Nick loudly exhales and says under his breath, "At least he's happy," before following me.

~

By the time we made it out of the store, it was 4:00PM. I wish I was joking but I literally spent 5 whole hours in Barnes&Noble.

But I bought a lot so that makes sense.

Along with the original 19 books I picked up, I had bought The Love Hypothesis, The Song of Achilles, Dreamland, all 5 Heartstopper volumes, Nick and Charlie, This Winter, Radio Silence, Loveless, I Was Born for This, Solitaire, The Paris Library, all 6 volumes of Fence, and The Clean Slate Ranch series. 46 books total.

I also bought two Elvis records, a Queen record, and a Cardigans record.

Altogether that came to £498.94.

Now, sitting in a fancy restaurant, my books and records safely stored in the car, we laugh about that insane price.

"I mean, come on!" Nick shouts, swirling his wine around in his glass. "Almost £500 for 46 books and 4 records? That's crazy!"

I take a sip from my wine and say, "I mean, in America my shopping haul would probably amount to $1000."

Nick raises his eyebrows in shock. "Really?"

He takes a sip of wine as I nod.

"That's bogus!" he says, accidentally spilling a drop of wine on the tablecloth.

He quickly wipes up the wine as I say, "Inflations." I take a sip of my wine.

He laughs. "Sometimes I don't know about America."

I don't respond.

Nick raises an eyebrow at me. "Something wrong?"

I finish off my glass of wine and say, "Do you ever think about... Disventure Camp?"

Nick's eyes widen a little and he takes a sip of wine. "Sometimes... yeah. Why do you ask?"

I fold my hands in front of me and twiddle my thumbs. "I just can't stop thinking about the friendships I destroyed on that show or could've had. Everything I lost because I joined that show."

Nick puts his wine glass down and puts his hand over mine. "What do you mean?" he asks solemnly.

I sigh and say, "I lost a woman I really loved because I couldn't see it for my myself how shitty of a husband I was being. I haven't seen my son in almost a year. I really thought I could waltz onto that show and win the money to fix my marriage! I'm so stupid and I lost everything! It's been a while but I... still feel guilty about everything."

I grab Nick's hand and start playing with his fingers. "And I had people I was really close to on the show that I lost because I was so set on winning the dumb game! I had great friendships with Ellie, Connor, Grett. I couldn't even maintain 3 friendships without fucking anything up? And I can't believe that I let myself get tricked by Fiore! I could've won that money; I could've fixed my problems! But I didn't and I lost everything!"

"Hey! We all got tricked by Fiore! She was a little demon child, but we couldn't help it. We all underestimated what she could do, and it didn't turn out good for any of us. And I was great friends with Ashley, Lill, and Will in season 1, but I just recently made a Facebook groupchat with them and we're all talking again. Maybe if you talked it out with Ellie, Connor, and Grett, you could restore your friendships! I don't know if that'll work for you but it did for me."

He took my face in his hands and says, "And you definitely didn't lose everything. I'm here! I was the fresh start you needed, and we are currently going steady! I definitely needed you for my character arc and you needed me for yours. I'll be here to help you through everything. I'll be there when you need me most. Just call on me, and I'll be there for you in the blink of an eye."

A tear falls from my eye. "I... don't know what to say. Thank you so much."

Nick smiles and wipes the tear away with his thumb. "All I want is for you to be happy. Come on now, don't be sad. It's your birthday!"

I put my hand over his and close my eyes. "Yeah... yeah, I guess it is."

~

Dinner came and it was great. I wasn't expecting much because it was such a fancy restaurant, and usually fancy restaurants never have the best food in the world.

Me and Nick were back in the car, driving somewhere else now. He had his hand on my thigh as we listen to Billy Joel on the radio.

I laugh. "I don't understand how you can plan so much stuff to do for one day! You didn't have to spend so much money on me today. I mean, come on! It's just my birthday!"

Nick gasped. "Just your birthday? It might as well be Christmas! Your birthday is one of the most important days of the year!"

I just laugh as he pulls up to our local park and parks his car against the curb.

I look over at him and raise my eyebrow. "The park?"

He smiles and says, "Go on. Go find a nice spot. We're going to watch the sunset and I have presents."

I smile. "How did you know I like to watch the sunset?"

"I always see you staring out the living room window with a book open in your lap. The sunlight always makes your eyes look so beautiful."

I just blush and open the car door. "Whatever." I step up the curb and look around.

There was a nice spot next to the lake, a nice patch of sunlight in the grass. Perfect.

I look behind me at Nick, who is walking over to me with the reusable Stop&Shop bag. I really want to know what he put in there earlier. I guess I'll find out soon enough.

I wave him over, a big smile on my face. He laughs and starts running.

Once he gets over to me, he places the bag down on the grass. he reaches down and pulls a blanket out of the bag. The same blue fleece blanket we had laid over us after our first date.

He laid the blanket out on the ground. "Here. Sit. I don't want your hot ass to go green."

I laugh and sit down on the blanket. He sits down next to me and pulls the bag onto the blanket. He reaches into the bag and pulls out a small box wrapped in blue paper; a red envelope attached to it.

"Here," he says, handing them over to me. "Here's your present."

I take it from him and smile. "Aw, thank you. But you didn't have to. You've already done so much for me today!"

Nick rolls his eyes and says, "Just open the damn present."

I laugh and remove the card from the box. I put the box down on the blanket and go to open the envelope, but Nick grabs my arm.

"Wait! I want you to open the present first!"

I raise my eyebrow. "But why? It's good manners to open up the card before the present."

"I know but... I think you'll like what's in the card more than the present itself."

I just stare at him, confused. "Al... right then. If you really want me to."

I put the envelope down on the blanket and pick the box back up. I slowly unwrap the paper.

There was a small mahogany box. I open the lid and...

Oh. My. God.

Inside the box was the most beautiful watch I had ever seen. Emerald green and gold, beautiful sheen, smooth leather wristband. It was so... vintage!

I take it out of the box, staring at it in awe. I put it around my wrist and observe it.

"Oh, wow. Nick, this is so beautiful!"

"Even more beautiful than me?"

I scoff. "Oh, shut it." I look away. "And no, you're still more beautiful."

He laughs, then leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "Now open up the card."

I pick up the envelope and pry it open. Inside was a card with flowers and the words 'Happy Birthday!' on the cover. When I opened up the card there were two sheets of paper, but I shoved them aside to read the card.

There were no actual words on the inside, but Nick had written in his swoopy handwriting, "I love you so much. Happy Birthday Alec xoxo -Nick."

I blush. Then I close the card and look at the pieces of paper that were inside.

And when I tell you my initial shock when I read what was on it. The sheets of paper were two plane tickets to Istanbul, Türkiye!

I look at Nick, my jaw dropped. "You didn't!"

He smirks and says, "One for me, one for you."

I just laugh and throw my arms around his neck, tackling him onto the blanket. I start showering him with kisses, as he laughs and laughs.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh, you're the best boyfriend ever!" I exclaim, getting up off of Nick.

Nick sits up and just laughs. "I know you always wanted me to see Istanbul so... why not take you there myself?"

I lean in and kiss him. "Oh, I promise you are going to love it there!"

He smiles and blushes. "I bet I will."

We look into each other's eyes for a moment. Then Nick seems to remember something. "Oh, I have cake for us!"

He reaches into the bag and pulls out a cake in a plastic tin. It had white frosting and the words 'Happy Birthday Alec!' written on it in chocolate lettering.

Nick smiles weakly and says, "Sorry that I couldn't bake you a cake myself. You know I'm a shit baker."

I laugh. "Yeah. You're a great cook though."

He blushes. "I really do try to make good food."

"Try my asshole! Your food is fucking amazing!"

He turns even more red. "Aw, really? Wow." He places the cake down on the blanket next to me and covers his face with his hands.

I just laugh.

After a while, he takes his hands off his face and picks some forks, a cake trowel, and paper plates out of the bag. He removes the lid off the cake and cuts two slices of cake with the cake trowel, then puts each slice on a plate.

He puts a fork on one of the plates and hands it to me. "For you, my king."

I blush and take the plate. "Oh, stop it."

We sat there together side by side, eating our cake with one hand, our other hands lying next to each other on the blanket, our pinkies crossed over.

Once we finish our cake, the sun had started to set.

I look up at the sky. It's colored in many shades of yellow, orange, purple, and pink. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I put my hands in the pockets of my overcoat and smile up at the sky.

Suddenly, I hear a click from next to me. I look over and see Nick holding up his camera.

"You sneaky bitch!" I exclaim, laughing.

He pulls the camera away from his face and laughs, saying nothing. And oh my God, the light from the setting sun was reflecting in his eyes, mixing in with the blue and making them shine. And his skin seemed to be glowing.

I blush and say, "You're so pretty."

He blushes. "You're so gay."

I gasp. "Oh no! I've been outed!"

We laugh.

I lean onto his shoulder and let out a breath. "I really wish I had my book with me."

"Who says you didn't?"

I look up at Nick. "What?"

He turns around and reaches into his bag, pulling out Fellow Travelers and handing it to me.

So that's the black and grey thing he slipped into the bag earlier. My book! I take it and smile. "You're so stupid. I love you so much!"

"I knew you'd want your book with this sunset so... I brought it, just in case."

I turn to the page I left off on and say, "How do you know me so well?"

He puts his hand on my waist and says, "Well, we've been dating for like what? A year now? I should know you pretty well."

I just shake my head at him.

He kisses me on the top of my head and says, "Happy birthday, Alec."

~

What a day this has been. Laying with Nick in his bed, I think about everything he did for me today.

"Alec?" came Nick's voice out of the silence.

"Hm?"

"That thing you called me earlier. What does that mean?"

I raise my eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"That name you called me at breakfast."

"Efem?"

"Yes. Efem. What does it mean?"

I chuckle. "It means 'my daredevil boy' in Turkish."

He smiles and runs his fingers through my hair. "Well, that checks out."

"Mhm."

We plunge into silence again.

"Alec?" Nick asks again.

I laugh. "Oh my God, what now?"

"Sorry. One more thing. Remember how you promised to read your book to me earlier?"

I smirk. "What? Do you want me to read it to you now?"

"Yes please. I really want to know what happens."

I just laugh. "Hold on."

I get out of his bed and go to my own room, scourge through my bookshelves, grab Fellow Travelers, and go back to Nick's room.

I climb back into his bed next to him and open the book to the first page. "You ready?"

He snuggles his head into my chest and says, "Mhm."

I take a deep breath and start. "Very snazzy, Mr. Fuller."

And as I read to him, listening to his quiet breathing, I really truly know that this right here, the little moments like this with Nick, is what true love looks like.

OMG THIS HAS TO BE MY FAVORITE FANFICTION IVE WRITTEN SO FAR CNIDWBXHKDSNCH!!! THEYRE SO GAY OMG

anyways I’m sorry again for how long this one is lol I got a little silly again

I really hoped you enjoyed this one guys especially you anonymous person who asked for this

Anyways have a great day yall and there’s more fanfictions to come!!! Ily all bye!!! <<<333

[astramachina]

Writerly Questionnaire

i was gonna snatch someone's open tag but @the-golden-comet (ty!!!) hit me with one so here we go. this is probs gonna get long and I apologize in advance.

About Me

When did you first start writing?

I was probably writing two page "sensationalized diary entries" when I was 8, but my first foray into proper "I am writing a piece of fiction" was at around 15.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Kind of but not really? I do enjoy reading a good romcom every now and then despite never having written one (and not intending to YET), but I mostly read horror and sci-fi which are my two genres of writing choice.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

When I was younger I really wanted to be able to emulate Terry Pratchett's prose, but the more I wrote the more I realized there's no real emulation when it comes to one's own authorial voice, just bits and pieces of all of whom we've enjoyed along the way. Nowadays I don't really care for the idea of comparison, but if it's a must, Grady Hendrix's approach to blending horror with humor is golden.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

98% of active writing magic occurs in my bedroom, at my desk, mostly on my laptop because it's the only piece of tech with a word processor. When I'm feeling feisty, I'll light a scented candle (apple & cinnamon) and instantly give myself an allergy.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

MUSIC. Or taking a shower. Or chillin the backseat of a car with my headphones on. Growing up I had painted the words "movement inspires creation" on my closet door because car rides really were the prime way to summon The Muse.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Oh, absolutely. Sometimes it's more obvious than others! For example, Define Home to Me is a folk horror set in a fictionalized version of the town I grew up in. In The Unbinding, it's all about the familial tension that permeated my developmental years. I love writing modern day gothics for that very reason.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

My characters? Queer. Usually POC. Sometimes disabled in ways that makes them moving through the plot impossible. A lot of the times there's some scathing commentary against colonialism and imperialism, trauma, generational nonsense, and so on. Do they surprise me? Yeah, actually. Like hey what are YOU doing here, this is supposed to be a story about space monsters and weird gas stations out in the American West, ain't nobody got time to study the decay manifested by settlers on my culture, the fuck.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

UHH probably Ricky Kronbach? He's a fandom OC which means I'm able to play with him while being unbound by cohesive narratives. I can put him in a blender and he'll still manage to flip me off. He's a brat. He's a weirdo. He's everything to me. Non-fandom wise, probably Verne from The Singularity Project. He may be a side-character and a... anti-hero? Kind of? But he has my entire heart because my god he's a hot freaking mess of a human being.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Probably Mike. He's a cool dude and by far the most normal. We'd talk about plants and watch The X-Files in his living room.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Nick Miller from The Unbinding. He may be the MC but boy is a massive dick that needs to get his ass kicked into gear.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

I'm a very story-centric person, so a lot of the times story comes before the character. I'll have a solid plot and setting and when the time comes for a vehicle to move through said story, I get to work on the character. It's one of the reasons why I only wrote fanfic for so long! I'm bad at creating interesting and unique OCs so a lot of the times they're just some guy (gn), though they do tend to grow and sometimes throw fits when certain events want to take place that do not match their personality.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Not to me cringe on main but for a good two years I realized that the main love interests in multiple of my projects were 1) dark haired 2) blue-eyed 3) British. I'm still bewildered by this. Other than that, family trauma. LMAO

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

Depends on the project! TSP is a very special case in which I see half of the characters as actual real people. Other times I go with "actor faceclaims" so that it makes writing feel like a movie.

My Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Fuck if I know. I just like doing it. It's this pit in the center of my chest that needs to be put the into word or else I feel like I'm going to explode.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Give me those deep-dives into lore speculation. Or if it's something on the more risque side of things, I was feel a deep sense of satisfaction when commenters slip into the TMI scale of things.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

As the guy who makes people feel things while reading. Regardless of what feelings those might be.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Foreshadowing (usually accidental) and setting descriptions.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

"It's like I'm reading a movie," is something people have been telling me for well over a decade. Which is mainly the reason why part of TSP's story is visual! I want to try just how well the medium translates through my specific lens.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

The entire range of human emotion. I recognize that not everything can be (or should even be, for that matter) a banger. Some stuff is shitty, and I will hate, and I will feel unsatisfied, and will make me never want to write again. Other stuff makes me feel like I deserve at least some kind of award, even if the award is "a nice cup of coffee with a lemon loaf". Sometimes I'm proud of it, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes it's fun, and sometimes it's not. Not only is it alright but it is necessary to slip and slide along that spectrum. Which is to say-- I am satisfied whenever I engage in the craft.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Hell yeah I would. I'm my own audience first and foremost.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I write for me, myself, and I, and actively choose to share that with others. I did my time of trying to write for a wider audience to appeal to the mainstream industry and that just ended up with me hating every damn moment of it, so here I am. Horror and sci-fi aren't as popular as other genres which usually translates to limited reach, but man, those who match my freak will match it, and that is all that matters.

I SAID THIS WOULD BE LONG. not gonna tag anyone's notifs so i'm leaving this baby as an open tag!

[mariana-oconnor]

The Yellow Face pt 1

Now and again, however, it chanced that even when he erred, the truth was still discovered. I have noted of some half-dozen cases of the kind; the Adventure of the Musgrave Ritual and that which I am about to recount are the two which present the strongest features of interest.

Aha, so Sherlock isn't going to solve this one. Interesting. I feel like ACD uses this device specifically to make his audience want to beat Holmes at his own game.

Sherlock Holmes was a man who seldom took exercise for exercise’s sake. Few men were capable of greater muscular effort, and he was undoubtedly one of the finest boxers of his weight that I have ever seen; but he looked upon aimless bodily exertion as a waste of energy, and he seldom bestirred himself save when there was some professional object to be served.

This is the most relatable Sherlock Holmes has ever been, and he's been pretty damn relatable. Well, not the boxing thing. But the wanting exercise to have a purpose thing.

Save for the occasional use of cocaine, he had no vices

Just the cocaine. 'He didn't do any drugs - except the cocaine, obvs' feels a bit like saying 'He never drives - except for the drag racing'

For two hours we rambled about together, in silence for the most part, as befits two men who know each other intimately. It was nearly five before we were back in Baker Street once more.

Wow... I'm trying very hard not to do queer readings of these stories (idky, I just feel like it's obvious) but sometimes things come up and I know phrases have changed in meaning. But is there any doubt as to why people romantically link these characters?

“This is Grosvenor mixture at eightpence an ounce,” Holmes answered, knocking a little out on his palm. “As he might get an excellent smoke for half the price, he has no need to practise economy.”

We get to see his encyclopaedic knowledge of tobacco ash in action. Not just a reported skill.

Then he has bitten through his amber. It takes a muscular, energetic fellow, and one with a good set of teeth, to do that.

When I was a small child who had just graduated to glass rather than plastic cups, I used to bite bits out of them. I wasn't particularly strong, although I did have quite good teeth back then. I was just quite stupid and didn't understand the consequences of my actions. However, I have never smoked a pipe, so don't know if biting down on it is a traditional part of the experience.

“It’s a very delicate thing,” said he. “One does not like to speak of one’s domestic affairs to strangers. It seems dreadful to discuss the conduct of one’s wife with two men whom I have never seen before. It’s horrible to have to do it. But I’ve got to the end of my tether, and I must have advice.”

Is this going to be another story where Holmes tells people to talk to their spouses?

From every gesture and expression I could see that he was a reserved, self-contained man, with a dash of pride in his nature, more likely to hide his wounds than to expose them.

Hey, Watson. Look at you reading people. Good for you.

And now, since last Monday, there has suddenly sprung up a barrier between us, and I find that there is something in her life and in her thought of which I know as little as if she were the woman who brushes by me in the street. We are estranged, and I want to know why.

Oh yeah, they need to talk to each other. Communication problems.

She went out to America when she was young, and lived in the town of Atlanta, where she married this Hebron, who was a lawyer with a good practice. They had one child, but the yellow fever broke out badly in the place, and both husband and child died of it.

Well this is already tragic and we haven't even got to the mystery yet.

"I have seen his death certificate."

That's weirdly specific, while also being vague pronoun use - the husband or the child? - and also a totally normal thing to say. I guess it's the husband because... that would be necessary for the marriage? But why bring that up? Like, from a Doylist perspective it makes sense to provide that information to the reader, but it's such a weird sentence to just slip in. I'm sure this information won't be at all important later on.

“There’s one thing I ought to tell you before I go further. When we married, my wife made over all her property to me—rather against my will, for I saw how awkward it would be if my business affairs went wrong. However, she would have it so, and it was done. Well, about six weeks ago she came to me."

That is... definitely a choice she made. It doesn't seem like the best choice, especially since apparently it was all her idea. I suppose there must have been a reason for it, but Effie... not sure it was your best idea.

“’And you won’t tell me what you want it for?’ “’Some day, perhaps, but not just at present, Jack.’ “So I had to be content with that, though it was the first time that there had ever been any secret between us. I gave her a check, and I never thought any more of the matter.

OK, he's already one of the most respectful husbands we've seen in these stories just for this. He agreed to look after her money, but to give it to her with no questions asked if she needed it. She asked for a large sum of money, so asking 'what for?' is genuinely a reasonable question, but when gently reminded of his promise he agrees to give her the money with only a little more curiosity. I'm not going to quibble about him questioning her slightly. According to the Bank of England, she asked for the equivalent of £10,000. If your spouse asks for £10,000 randomly one day it's pretty natural to ask what it's for... or you're a billionnaire I guess.

Now, she's a bit sus right now. That's a lot of money on no notice. I guess she has some skeletons in her past she has to pay off in some way.

But also, if you 'never thought any more of the matter' then why were you thinking of it enough to bring it up now? Clearly you definitely thought more on the matter... It strikes me that I may have praised you too soon. You don't seem to be being entirely truthful.

"I could not tell if the face were that of a man or a woman. It had been too far from me for that. But its color was what had impressed me most. It was of a livid chalky white, and with something set and rigid about it which was shockingly unnatural."

Mask? We're all agreed it's a mask, right? livid white, set and rigid? That describes a mask. Or a robot. But if it's a robot, then this is not the story I was expecting and I've really forgotten a lot about these stories since I last read them.

It's not a robot, right?

In the alternate universe where the 5 orange pips killer is the restless ghosts of the murdered, this is a robot.

She was deadly pale and breathing fast, glancing furtively towards the bed as she fastened her mantle, to see if she had disturbed me. Then, thinking that I was still asleep, she slipped noiselessly from the room, and an instant later I heard a sharp creaking which could only come from the hinges of the front door. I sat up in bed and rapped my knuckles against the rail to make certain that I was truly awake. Then I took my watch from under the pillow. It was three in the morning. What on this earth could my wife be doing out on the country road at three in the morning?

Night running? Probably not. Stargazing? Moonbathing? Ancient rites and rituals? Dancing skyclad?

Probably not any of those things. I agree, it is a strange time to go a-wandering. And she is being super sneaky about it. This is another tick against the 'sus' box. Although I do suspect this is going to be something like her being blackmailed by her former husband who didn't actually die at all or something like that. Not that she doesn't have the right to go walking the country lanes at 3am. She can do whatever she wants. Bit weird though.

Was it usual to keep pocket watches under pillows? I used to keep books under my pillow when I was younger - and stuffed down the side of my bed. And hidden in my duvet cover. But that was because I stayed up too late reading and had to hide them quickly when I needed to pretend to be asleep. Did bedside tables not exist in the 1890s? Internet tells me they became popular in the Georgian period. Why not keep your watch beside your bed then. This is entirely unimportant, I'm just surprised that anyone would keep something like a pocket watch under their pillow. He must have a really good pillow.

"I had sat for about twenty minutes"

That's not very long. So it's either not an affair or her affair partner has some stamina issues. I jest, I jest. That wouldn't really be a Sherlock Holmes kind of mystery.

"Where had she been during that strange expedition? I felt that I should have no peace until I knew, and yet I shrank from asking her again after once she had told me what was false. All the rest of the night I tossed and tumbled, framing theory after theory, each more unlikely than the last."

Well, it's less than 10 minutes walk away, so that narrows down your answers somewhat. Probably the neighbour's house, given your narrative so far, Mr Munro.

“’Ah, Jack,’ she said, ‘I have just been in to see if I can be of any assistance to our new neighbors. Why do you look at me like that, Jack? You are not angry with me?’ “’So,’ said I, ‘this is where you went during the night.’"

I mean, yes. But also that's a perfectly good reason for her to be coming out of the cottage. Visiting neighbours, particularly in more rural areas, particularly during this time period, would have been entirely normal. Unless women still had to be introduced by their husbands/fathers at this point, but I don't think that was the case by the end of the Victorian era like it was in Austen. I get that she's being sus, but this is the least suspicious thing she's done. You're right, but your logic is faulty.

“’How can you tell me what you know is false?’ I cried. ‘Your very voice changes as you speak. When have I ever had a secret from you? I shall enter that cottage, and I shall probe the matter to the bottom.’ “’No, no, Jack, for God’s sake!’ she gasped, in uncontrollable emotion. Then, as I approached the door, she seized my sleeve and pulled me back with convulsive strength.

This is also an entirely reasonable reaction to your husband deciding to invade the new neighbours' house while angry.

Maybe it's her kid?

"'If you come home with me, all will be well. If you force your way into that cottage, all is over between us.’ [...] ’I will trust you on one condition, and on one condition only,’ said I at last. ‘It is that this mystery comes to an end from now. You are at liberty to preserve your secret, but you must promise me that there shall be no more nightly visits, no more doings which are kept from my knowledge. I am willing to forget those which are passed if you will promise that there shall be no more in the future.’

Oh dear, no one's coming out well from this. On the one hand, that's quite the ultimatum she's making. On the other hand... that's quite the ultimatum he's making.

So far nothing she's done has been particularly terrible. I mean... a twenty minute walk in the middle of the night isn't bad. Visiting the neighbours isn't bad. All he's got is suspicions that she's lying to him. Meanwhile, she's emotionally blackmailing him with their relationship. I know this is all going to turn out to be very dramatic, because it's a Holmes case, but at the same time, Mr Munro is definitely overreacting right here.

“On the third day, however, I had ample evidence that her solemn promise was not enough to hold her back from this secret influence which drew her away from her husband and her duty."

Oh no... you're being a dick, Mr Munro. The promise you made her give was completely unreasonable. There is literally no way she can tell you everything she plans to do and even if she could, that's a dick move. And now, based on one night time walk and visit next door you're claiming that her leaving the house is drawing her away from her duty? I believed in you, Mr Munro. She is being a bit weird, yes, but you're being controlling and for absolutely no good reason.

“My mind was instantly filled with suspicion. I rushed upstairs to make sure that she was not in the house."

These are not the actions of a rational human being. This is paranoia. If your wife thinks she needs to collude with the servants against you, then your marriage is nowhere near as happy as you seem to think.

"Tingling with anger, I rushed down and hurried across, determined to end the matter once and forever. I saw my wife and the maid hurrying back along the lane, but I did not stop to speak with them. In the cottage lay the secret which was casting a shadow over my life."

What fucking shadow? The only thing casting a shadow over your life right now is you. You have 0 evidence that your wife is doing anything wrong. And the more you talk, the more convinced I am that she could absolutely have needed to take a walk at 3am just to get away from you. I don't think that's going to be the solution to the mystery, but I wouldn't blame her at this point.

And you did so well with the money! Although I suppose we only have your word for any of that, so who knows what actually happened there.

If it turns out that her child didn't die of Yellow Fever at all, but was just left disfigured and/or disabled and now she's visiting them, it's not going to go well for you, my dude.

"I did not even knock when I reached it, but turned the handle and rushed into the passage."

Fucking rude.

That's how you get a poker to the head, btw.

"The furniture and pictures were of the most common and vulgar description, save in the one chamber at the window of which I had seen the strange face. That was comfortable and elegant, and all my suspicions rose into a fierce bitter flame when I saw that on the mantelpiece stood a copy of a full-length photograph of my wife, which had been taken at my request only three months ago."

Mr Monro is kind of a snob, huh? If I liked him more, I might suggest that he and Watson get together for judging sessions.

FINE the picture is weird and evidence of some sort of weird secret. Congratulations, by trespassing and being a controlling dick you have uncovered one (1) piece of evidence that your wife is embroiled in some sort of secret relationship. But I really do think it's going to be maternal.

"It is the first shadow that has come between us, and it has so shaken me that I do not know what I should do for the best."

Well you sure have handled it well so far. /sarcasm.

If this is the first problem in your marriage and your first instinct was to fly completely off the handle and barge into someone else's house and search it from top to bottom just because your wife *checks notes*... went for a short walk in the nighttime and... visited the neighbours? then you are not stable enough for marriage. Oh and she wanted some money a little while before this, but you specifically said that you'd all but forgotten about it (which I doubt since it was the first thing you brought up) and you didn't know if it had any bearing on anything else.

Again, I have only vague recollections of this one. The only thing I really remember is the face in the window, everything else is a blur.

Current theory: her child didn't die, but survived the yellow fever with serious lasting effects. She couldn't support them alone, so she set them up with someone to look after them and when she was properly settled down with a comfortable a life, a (supposedly) loving husband and enough money, she used that £10,000 to bring the child to her and settle them in the cottage across the way so they would be close to each other.

Why all of that would need to be such a secret, I don't know, however. There must be some scandal involved somehow. If we didn't already know she'd been married before, I would have said the child was born out of wedlock, but even if that were the case surely she could just say it was the child of her first husband anyway and in this time with no internet, no one would have been any the wiser?

[thatone-churro]

hey quick question for fellow out queers with questionably supportive parents

does anyone else’s parents preach and harp about how they totally support you and love you “anyway” yet whenever you actually bring up something queer that you’ve got going for you and they literally can’t even be bothered to pretend to be interested?

like, when i was coming home from college for the summer, i told him about the absolute insane love triangle that was my poetry class and the last weekend hangout that turned out to be a plot for two of my friends to get closer to their crushes (myself included for once) and how i found that out on a date two days later and how yeah i’m talking to her now. now, the general consensus on the story itself was that it was funny and cute for me from the friends i had already told. but he just didn’t seem to care. he just gave a bunch of “oh”s and a final “that’s interesting” in that disappointed dad voice and sounded i don’t want to say skeptical but not genuinely happy for me when he asked if i was gonna talk to that girl and when i said yes. and i wouldn’t think so much about it if he hadn’t seemed genuinely happy for me when i talked about my regular friends i was still in touch with.

and he always seems to have the same reaction whenever i talk about going out with another girl, whether we date or not. i’m not saying he has to like, go out of his way to understand queer culture or all the weird shit we lesbians get into when it comes to flirting and dating and relationships, but it just seems like he can’t be bothered to pretend to care 99% of the time.

this isn’t new; i’ve been out for a few years now and i’ve had partners & girlfriends before, but he always seemed the same about it.

is this like a “normal” thing other queers have happen or is it just another facet of my daddy issues? how do y’all deal with it? i mean, i know i don’t need his support or validation to live (trust me, that’s never stopped me before), but it just feels different/hurts more with this. it just. idk where i’m going with this. i don’t wanna say that i feel like i need validation for it because i hate asking for that but idk what i’m making this post for other than to ask or put it out there

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99 okay listen-

"Ah I see your here to watch Aponi sing for the first time since leaving Valentino!" Alastor exclaimed as Angel Dust walked through the door of the small club.

"Yeah. I wouldn't miss it. She's been talkin bout it all week. I'm suprsed you let'er choose her own song ta sing," Angel stated as he sat at one of the tables and took his phone out.

"Why's that?" Alastor asked.

"She died in the early 2010's. I've met a shitload'a people from then and their music taste is usually shit. But maybe that's just me," Angel stated.

"Oh I'm sure it'll be fine!" Alasto replied.

Angel raised an eyebrow before playing a song from the 2000s.

"Its called 'who let the dogs out'. Really damn popular and really fuckin' stupid," he muttered before turning the song off and putting his phone away.

"Generations change, my feminine fellow! I'm sure Aponi wont sing that song specifically!" Alastor replied before starting the music for aponi as people walked in.

"Hey Angie!" Cherri stated as she sat next to angel dust. "She up there yet?"

"Nah. But the pimp just started the music so, should be any time now," Angel replied.

The restaurant wasn't very full, but the usual came in and had shown interest in the performance happening soon.

"It is my pleasure to introduce, Aponi wings! A new performer here!" Alastor introduced.

A backup singer started the song.

Five, six, seven, eight

More music began, and everyone kept speaking with one another, waiting for Aponi.

Alastor tilted his head at the music. It sounded like something he would've known.

Jazz.

Alastor would have to ask her about it later.

As the instrumental came to an end, Aponi walked on stage.

Come on babe, why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz

Aponi sang as the lights came on.

I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down And all that jazz

Alastor tilted his head at the lyrics.

Start the car, I know a whoopee spot Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl And all that jazz

Alastor cleared his throat and took a sip of water.

Her voice seemed darker in this song.

He wouldn't be suprised if she was an actress as well among other things. She knew how to act with the music.

Skidoo And all that jazz Hotcha Whoopee And all that jazz

The backup singers spoke along with Aponi.

Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes And all that jazz I hear that Father Dip is gonna blow the blues And all that jazz Hold on hon, we're gonna bunny-hug I bought some aspirin down at United Drug In case you shake apart and want a brand new start To do that jazz

The song got a bit more upbeat and alastor saw some people tapping their feet to the rhythm.

Find a flask, we're playin' fast and loose And all that jazz Right up here is where I store the juice And all that jazz Come on babe, we're gonna brush the sky I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high 'Cause in the stratosphere, how could he lend an ear To all that jazz?

As the song picked dup even more, and the music started up again people began dancing with one another.

Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy-shake And all that jazz Oh, she's gonna shimmy 'til her garters break And all that jazz Show her where to park her girdle Oh, her mother's blood'll curdle If she'd hear her baby's queer For all that jazz

Aponi belted the notes. Impressive.

Alastor would have to ask her more about what her voice can do.

All that jazz

The music continued happily.

Come on babe, why don't we paint the town? (Oh, you're gonna see your Sheba shimmy shake) And all that jazz (and all that jazz) I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down

As the music picked up even more, Aponi began dancing with another demon while singing..

Alastor knew it would happen, qponi had showed him the dancing, just not the music, but he still felt a bit... strange seeing his performer dancing with someone else.

(Oh, she's gonna shimmy 'til her garters break) And all that jazz (and all that jazz) Start the car, I know a whoopee spot (Show her where to park her girdle) Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot (Oh, her mother's blood will curdle) It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl (If she'd hear her baby's queer) And all that jazz

She belted again as she was spun around.

She walked back to the microphone.

No, I'm no one's wife But oh, I love my life And all that jazz That jazz

She belted the last note and everyone in the restaurant began clapping for her as the song ended.

Aponi walked off the stage and up to angel and cherri.

"You did a song from a musical. Again?" Cherri asked, feigning annoyance.

"Oh you love it. You're the one who dared me to do a musical. Next time we should put money on it," Aponi teased.

"Well my darling! That was amazing. Say, where is that song from?" Alastor asked.

"Hm? Oh. It's from a musical called "Chicago" amazing. Even though cherri doesn't think so," aponi teased.

"What other musicals are there, my dear?" Alastor asked as he ushered Aponi away from her friends.

"He's obsessed with'er ain't he?" Angel asked.

"Yep. Hope he's ready for her backstory and all the shit it comes with. He is a man after all," cherri replied.

"Hey! So am i!" Angel argued.

"You know what I mean, Angie. If he hurts her I say we go to Satan himself to ask him to banish him," Cherri suggested.

"Agreed," Angel replied before the two walked out of the restaurant.

[afy2018]

Hogwarts School of Femslash and Wizardry

“Lauren,” Root teased at their token American, who was getting her shit together, “you’ll make us all late, again.”

She bustled around her cart, tugging and checking under everything. “Yes, sorry, um… Okay, so I have, my- good. Sorry, so are we all ready?” she finalized.

“For the past five minutes, yes.”

“Someone else has to be the over-prepared one if it isn’t me,” Waverly pointed out.

Their other friend shrugged in agreement, “I’m sure as hell not it.”

“We know,” Delphine joked. “Come on, before we lose a spot.”

They ran through Platform 9¾, Lauren shot through the portal but not before Root had a chance to slap her ass when she passed by. On the other side, Root greeted her friend with a mischievous grin. Waverly vaulted towards the train in search of an open compartment before they were forced to share one. She quickly found one and pushed her cart to the edge then took out her linguistics book while Lewis helped the others.

Root struggled to pull her dolly onto the train, jumping slightly when a hand reached out to hoist her belongings off the platform. She looked over to the still face of a peer. “Thank you, Shaw.”

She responded with the most words she had ever heard her utter, “Was nothing.”

Shaw spent her time either with the other three queer kids she was currently standing by or her exclusive friends in Slytherin. To Root, she seemed nice enough, save for her resting murder face, yet fit in perfectly with her cunning and ambitious tactics. Her kind gesture did surprise her, being under the notion that Shaw found her annoying. Shaw glanced back at her friends then returned to their beck and call. Root cocked her head to the side and grinned wider as she watch the flabbergasted student speak with them before rejoining her own peers.

Sam watched her fellow Slytherin from the corner of her eye, something quite noticeable by her friends.

“What a hero,” Bo jibed.

“Shut your face, Dennis,” she retorted in annoyance.

Cosima stifled her laughter. “Come on, let’s grab a seat.”

Bo and Nicole snickered as Shaw stomped to the train, leaving her friends behind. Haught was quick to snag her belongings and rushed after her, while Dennis helped Cosima, dragging them to their seating arrangement. Shaw got caught on a door and left behind. Once she finally tugged it out, she stumbled backward into Root’s compartment. Lying flat on her back, she caught the stare from three sets of unfamiliar eyes and another pair of adoring ones.

“Hey, sweetie, you need help?” Groves flirted. Shaw scrambled to her feet then caught up with her friends.

“A little short on words,” Lauren pointed out.

“Yeah, didn’t say much earlier.”

They continued their previous conversations, Delphine getting immersed in her book while Lauren nerded out about biology with whoever would listen. Waverly debated the merits of anthropology with Root between factoids, although the latter truly couldn’t care less about the subjects but entertained them all the same until they grew bored of the bumpy train ride. Cormier eventually took a look around the old train while she read, dodging students and employees on her shaky promenade. The brief flashes of the British countryside made her think of the flatlands back home. She peered through the crack of a compartment before the train rushed through a tunnel. Continuing on her trek, a student poked their head out of a doorway, getting smacked by the hardcover of her novel.

She slammed the book closed to diligently apologize. “Oh my, I am so sorry.”

“Hey, no sweat, dude. It’s okay,” Cosima tried to console her. Noticing her pristine blue and bronze trim sweater, she asked, “You look new, what’s your name?”

“Delphine, and you?”

“Cosima… Niehaus,” she greeted, partially closing the door to the compartment.

“Enchantée.”

“Enchantée. So, what, uh, what are you- year wise?”

“This is my Fifth year, yourself?”

“Fifth, too. You’ve got blue, so I assume you’re in Ravenclaw, so how’d you end up here?”

“I just transferred from Beauxbatons.”

“Wow, you’re a long way from home,” Niehaus commented, earning a slight shrug. “Cool- uh, so, what’re you reading?”

“Just a book.”

“About what?”

“Darwin’s finches. It’s a log of all of the birds he encountered.”

“Really, dude, that’s awesome. I thought I was the only one who was obsessed with Darwin.”

“Have you read his books?”

“Only, like, all of them a hundred times,” she tried to impress her. She heard her friends snicker and gossip from behind the sliding door.

Delphine glanced over her shoulder, “I guess I should go.”

“Oh, okay. So, see you in the commons, then.”

“Yes, au plus tard.”

“Bye,” Cosima blushed, ducking back into the room.

“Wow,” Bo noted, “you got game.”

Cosima nodded and rubbed her forehead. “Yeah but my head hurts a bit.”

“She must have been flying down the corridor?”

“That’s for sure, she had some speed on her.”

“Don’t let your injury prevent you from getting us snacks, Niehaus,” Shaw jibed.

“Pfft, you got arms too, why don’t you help?”

Sameen raised an eyebrow but was interrupted by their resident Hufflepuff. “I’ll join you.” Nicole hoisted herself up by the tarnished gold rail and followed her to find something to eat.

“Hey, when you get back, you guys wanna play BS?” Bo offered with a deck of cards in her hand.

“Yeah.”

Shaw pulled up the table and offered, “Knock-rummy while they’re out?”

Bo cut and shuffled the deck a few times before putting out the cards.

~

Lauren looked at her watch then stood up to stretch. “We have about an hour and a half. I’m gonna go walk around, anyone wanna join me?”

“No,” Root answered, too distracted by her current task of gazing out the window to be polite.

“Why not, maybe we’ll find Delph,” Waverly offered.

They walked out and made their way to the bistro cart. Waverly’s shirt got caught on a bolt, sighing in frustration as she tried to reach the thread. “Hey, Lauren, can you help me?”

“Here, let me,” another student broke in, swiftly releasing the thread from the screw. She had haphazardly shoved three boxes of chocolate frogs and a bag of jelly slugs into her pockets.

Waverly swept her hair over her shoulder and turned around. She smiled at the taller woman and then glanced back at Lauren. “Thanks… um, Haught, right?”

“Yeah, Nicole works though.”

“Hey, nice work last season,” Waverly proceeded to congratulate, “I know we didn’t place well, but you were a force to be reckoned with.”

“Oh, thank you,” she shyly accepted.

“Um- sorry, I should go, you know my friend…” she began, turning around to see that Lauren had already continued down to the bistro without her. “We… yeah. It was nice to see you. Thank you for helping with my shirt, they really should fix the bolts and screws. One of your lot fell into our compartment earlier.”

“Shaw?”

“The angry one?”

“That’d be her.”

“Just curious, does she talk?”

“Oh, yeah, she’s just a woman of few words.”

Waverly nodded with a pleasant smile and watched Nicole make her way to her compartment. Once inside, Haught tossed the boxes at her friends, keeping the Jelly Slugs for herself. Cosima caught the frog as it hopped out of the box. She smiled and popped it into her mouth then checked her card.

“Awesome, I got Bowman Wright.”

“Indira Choudry,” Shaw shared with a frog hanging out of her mouth by the leg.

“Cliodna,” Bo interjected.

Nicole opened up the bag and sat next to Cosima who was tucked up into the corner close to the door.

“So, Cos, who was that girl you were talking to?” Sameen asked, biting off the head of her frog.

“Just a transfer, she’s kinda nerdy.”

“Really, must be a complete bore, what’s her name?”

“Delphine. She’s a Ravenclaw like me.”

“Perfect if you want to get to know her better,” Bo nodded, playfully hitting Cosima’s knee.

Niehaus rolled her eyes in response then drew her attention to her dreamy-eyed friend. “What about you? You look like a love-sick puppy.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Nicole tried to cover up.

“Mhm, and it has nothing to do with that girl you ‘Helped’?”

“Piss off, that was Waverly.”

“Wait, Earp, that Waverly?”

“Yeah, she’s a lot nicer than her sister.”

“Yeah, she was a shocker. She got you guys in second and is dating a douche,” Sameen informed with a cocky smirk.

“Yeah, I know,” Nicole quickly stated. Sameen smirked and threw the box at her, but soon had it tossed back at her. “Haha, nice shot.” They got caught up in a brief kicking match before they mutually conceded. “Fucker.”

“I gotta keep you on your toes somehow? So, what about you Bo, it seems like everyone else has found their soulmate?” she sarcastically remarked.

“What? No, not yet,” Bo responded, resting against the wall and back of her seat. “Besides, why should we be finding our wives here? There are so many other wizards out there who are less annoying than the MoM ones here.”

“Really? I would have thought that the boys’d be all over you.”

“I was under the impression that we were at school to learn.”

They all burst out laughing, Cosima chuckling in the corner while Nicole completely doubled over. Sameen only shook her head in amusement. Haught leaned on her shoulder, earning a brief pat on the head before Sameen decided to practice some spells on their trash. She then retrieved her Dark Arts book and began to study.

Bo finally took a moment to stretch and stood between the sliding door and its frame. “Alright, I need to take a break from you lot, peace.”

“Keep your eye out for the one,” Shaw forebodingly warned.

Bo affectionately flipped her off then went off to explore the train, sliding out of her peer’s way. She spotted three students a few paces down beside a compartment. Two of them she recognized as Lauren and Waverly, the other she couldn’t quite place yet. Lauren shrugged her shoulders and peeked inside, then Earp and the curly-haired blonde slipped past her, leaving Lewis alone in the walkway.

“Lewis, that you?” Dennis inquired.

The other Gryffindor student furrowed her brows to study her. “Dennis?”

“The one and only.”

“I thought you transferred back to the states.”

“No, I was just visiting for the summer. Wow, I almost didn’t recognize you, what happened to your princess curls?”

“Oh, well, it always took too long to do, so I kind of stopped. You’re definitely different, in a good way, though.”

“Really, how?”

“I mean, you don’t have a trail of boys behind you like last time. Must be nice to have a breath of fresh air?”

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll come by like usual, I’m just enjoying the peace and quiet. I’m just taking a cruise, glad I caught you,” she flirted.

“Ah, back at it again,” Lauren awkwardly teased.

“I got to try.” After a brief moment of silence, she sighed, “Would you like to join me?”

“Oh, no thank you. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“It wouldn’t be intruding if I invited you.”

“It’s okay, we’re about to start a round of chess in here, so I’m interested in how it will go.”

“Who’s playing?”

“The Delph and Waves.”

“Okay, well good luck, I’d love to see you again.”

“That’d be great, Dennis.”

“Please, call me Bo, I get into too much trouble to let my mates call me that.”

As Bo left, Lauren slipped back in to watch the game take place. Already within the first minute of the game, there were white fragments on the board from Waverly’s minor victories. Root was completely invested in the proceedings, adding in audience sound effects like gasps and cheers when a smart move was made. Delphine quickly got the upper hand when she took away her opponent’s knight and pawn, but quickly lost ground when her rook was cornered.

“You are a sneaky little brit,” she taunted.

“Pfft, you’d know about that, Frenchie.”

She only shook her head and proceeded to take away five more pawns. “Bam, what do you have to say now?”

“Shit,” she muttered, “that was good.”

“Yeah, I think she’s got you cornered there, Waves,” Root added.

“Do you want to commentate this entire game?”

“Don’t mind if I do!”

“No, that’s-”

“Will Earp be able to get back on her feet and make her country proud?”

“Root-”

“Oh, seems not,” she cut off when another black piece shattered. “Cormier takes out yet another pawn, but would you look at that! Rook to E5 takes out Cormier’s knight, deadly move.” Root proceeded to commentate on their brutal game, never growing tired of her jokes and jibes, but went silent when Delphine found herself down to three pieces.

“I sense a distraction coming this way,” Lauren finally interrupted as she spotted a familiar student tromp his way in their direction. They knocked on the sliding door, so she glanced in Waverly’s direction. “It’s the boy.”

“Let him in.”

She rolled her eyes and opened the door. “Hey, James.”

“Ladies, m’lady,” he greeted them then his girlfriend. “I’m here to steal you away.”

“Just a sec, I’m gonna crush Delph.”

“You’re so sure of that?” she taunted back.

“Checkmate.”

“Merde,” she muttered.

“And the Brits win again,” Root cheered.

Waverly grabbed a few belongings and joined Hardy and his goons back to their compartment, “I’ll be back to grab my stuff.”

Lauren closed the door right behind them and rolled her eyes. “What a jag-off.”

“I can’t believe she’s still with him,” Root agreed.

“Who is he?” Delphine inquired.

“Hardy James, aka Champ. He’s a beater for the Hufflepuffs.”

“And a lunk,” Lauren added. “I thought she would have switched it up by now, joined the dark side.”

Root chuckled in response, but their other peer only looked on in confusion. “Dark side?”

“You know, accepted her gayness,” the Slytherin explained. “I mean it’s pretty obvious he’s a beard, whether or not she realizes it.”

“I don’t understand.”

Lauren glanced to the side for a moment then further described, “Basically, a beard is someone a gay person dates to appear straight.”

“How do you know, though?”

“It’s a feeling, pretty strong one, too.”

Delphine crooked an eyebrow at her forward explanation, then considered her own ‘gayness’ before pushing the thought aside. “Are you two gay?”

“Yeah, birds of a feather flock together.”

Root began to pack away the chessboard, “It’s just a matter of time.”

“That can’t be true,” the transfer student bargained.

“Well, it can happen,” Lauren pondered, “but most people tend to enjoy the company of people they are akin to.”

Root peaked out of the window and nodded in agreement, “We just passed the hutch, so we’re not that far away. Have you been on the train before?”

“Not this one, no.”

“It’s old, so hold on tight or you’ll go flying, this one still hasn’t learned her lesson,” she jibed to Lewis.

“Fuck off.”

“What, every year you’ve been here you hit the deck.”

“This is only my second year,”

“That is every year you’ve been here.”

Lauren gave in and began pulling down their luggage and stacked their belonging.

[glittersendsasks]

hm… my gaydar is going off… hey basil are you a fellow queer? :3

oh! um yeah i am :)

[umbr3llaz]

M i see where you are coming from on "lesbian is lesbian".

I did some googling and more info from what ive known

Gay is a huge umbrella and apparently in some corners, lesbian is treated the same. Didnt know that now I do. and hey that kinda makes sense too, Gay is tradition men loving men but has since grown. We all love Gay. like "god i hope this movie does something gay for once". anyways yeah terminology.

I also kept looking it up and so Like it makes sense because although also i was like squeemish at bi lesbian i was like "thats TWO SEXUALITY BRUV" but they mean it romantic and sexual sense.

(a bi lesbian is like "oh im romantically bi but sexually lesbian- this isnt all fair or easy for me but it catagorizes how i feel in dating or sexual intimacy)

and to me that makes sense, because romantic is different than sexual. Like you can be sexually attracted to men and romantically attracted to to men but accidentally fall in love with a woman. it happens to cis gay men, (and biphobia is birthed from that but also in gender queer therapy, i learned that you can like fall inlove with one particular person and not the gender or fawn over the ladies and stuff- and that gay is such a solidified umbrella that when we say "yes im a gay man" people have different interpretations.

This really hurt to read, coming from you.

I don’t have the time or emotional energy to address a lot of these points. So I’ll just say a few things before moving on to your final ask

1. I have spent my life on this earth as a lesbian, and done more than my fair share of discovery of my own history. Do not presume to know more than me as a fellow queer person. We are talking about the identity that I have claimed because it describes myself, discovered through pain and violence directed at me due to my identity.

2. Your description of bi lesbians is also the lives lead by political lesbians, an actual group of terfs

3. Terms can be umbrellas, but they need to have meaning. Are we so underserving of a label that describes ourselves? I ask again, is sapphic not good enough? Why must a terms meaning be muddied by adding something that contradicts it? See omnivore vegan.

[thisisafancyurl]

So I'm sitting in a cafe with my friend A and I ask him if he's seen the newest Mario trailer.

BEFORE HE COULD EVEN RESPOND

Some fellow off in the corner butts in with "oh yeah I saw it! My main thing is why she [Princess Peach] has an axe now!"

To which I respond, "uh why not"

HEY BUDDY

First off, don't eavesdrop on a conversation between two queers, you will get neither of our contact info, promise

SECONDLY, THE PRIMARY LESSON WE LEARNED FROM THE OLD GUARD IS THAT

WOMEN

WANT

WEAPONRY

WE DON'T NEED STUPID THINGS LIKE "why" and "canon compliance"

WE NEED "WHY ISNT THIS SHARP ENOUGH" AND JUST PLAIN "CANNON"

ANDANDAND

If Princess Peach having a weapon is your biggest issue over TerribleHumanMan crispyrat doing Charles Martinet THAT DIRTY, then you aren't paying attention and I certainly don't want to talk to you

[yaoib0y]

oh yeah guys i got a trans flag today when i went to the town near the vacation house we're staying at w my grandma. she doesnt know i got it she just told me to get anything when we went wondering around. but cant wait to show it when i get home !!

[divine-donna]

robin buckley relationship head canons

i am so terribly in love with robin (more so than eddie) so here are some relationship head canons for robin!! naturally robin is a lesbian so (y/n) is a non-man. (y/n) is also the same age as robin as well.

you were in love with girls since you were a kid. you knew. you just knew. but of course, you kept this secret. why would you tell anyone? not when people were so casually throwing around slurs for, what you eventually learned you were, homosexuals (with you specifically being a lesbian).

you would say you were a popular kid, even if you were involved with band. everyone knew who you were. you got invited to parties where the popular kids would hang out.

except, of course, you always felt out of place.

carol perkins would always be making out with her boyfriend, steve with whoever he was with at the time. it was always boy kissing girl. you didn’t like boys. they were kind of smelly, rude, didn’t even know how to take care of their girlfriends.

more often than not, you’d be left sitting in the corner. and eventually, you thought that it would be better to stop coming and to stop being popular.

queer people have always existed. you learned this when you decided to hang out more with your fellow band kids. you guys developed a tight bond as a group of queer teenagers in a town where it clearly wasn’t the norm. no one batted an eye at your friend group. you guys were pretty great at pretending you feigned interest in heteronormativity.

the first time you met robin, you felt your tongue get all tied up. you didn’t know how to respond.

you guys were going to go see the hot new horror film, a nightmare on elm street. being someone who frequented the theaters for horror, you had refrained from going without your friends.

“hey guys! sorry i’m late.” she panted. you have seen her around before. of course you have. but never have you interacted with her. until now.

“oh (y/n). i hope you don’t mind.” your friend whispers. “i brought robin along. her plans got cancelled last minute and i convinced her to come along.”

you couldn’t speak. robin smiled at you and waved. she was just so...pretty.

you had your fair share of brief crushes. but never something that hit you as hard as this.

you took your seat next to robin in the movie theater, excited to see one of your most anticipated horror movies yet. “i’ve only heard good things about it.” you whisper.

“then let’s not be disappointed.” she whispers back.

you definitely weren’t. and while you guys were walking out, you could not stop talking. “i mean that twist! it was just so genius! i’ve never seen anything like that! the misdirection, the effects! how did they do that with freddy like reaching through the ceiling?” you mimicked the the scene with your arms. “and on top of that, heather langenkamp! my god she was just so amazing and beautiful and i don’t understand why her character was dating glen when clearly she’s much better off single and whatnot-” you had to stop herself. “sorry. sometimes i...ramble a lot. i mean heather langenkamp is like beautiful. you know like standard wise and stuff.” not like you had a celebrity crush on her. and sissy spacek. no, no, no. well...you did. obviously.

“that’s okay. i have that problem sometimes.” she laughs awkwardly. even her laugh was just...nice. “anyways i’ll see you around.”

“yeah...” you watched as she walked away. “see ya.”

being friends with robin was...nice. it was fun. you saw her a lot more often after that movie. but it was easy to tell that something was occupying her mind. that something being tammy thompson.

what was so special about her? really, what? tammy thompson wasn’t special. she had the voice of a muppet (you could not unhear it once steve told you). she was even a little bit mean. why her?

you didn’t realize that you felt this massive amount of jealousy within your bones thinking about tammy thompson. the way robin looked at her. you wanted her to look at you that way.

you only fell onto your bed and looked up at your plain ceiling to realize that you were harboring a massive crush on robin buckley.

she consumed your every thought. robin this, robin that. robin smiling, robin laughing, robin missing a note while playing, robin frantically trying to clean up the milk she spilled at the cafeteria table. robin, robin, robin. everything was robin.

you were quite joyous on the inside when you came out from the back of scoops ahoy to find robin with an application. “you told me scooping ice cream was a fun job.” she says.

“and it is.” you take the application. “the mall just opened anyways so we are in need of employees.” you smirk. “just gonna run this over and hopefully we can get you started.”

working with robin was great. and steve. you liked steve. but you weren’t going out of your way to hang out with him. not like with robin.

of course you weren’t expecting your life to suddenly turn upside down. but apparently, this was a normal thing now according to steve. you went along with it. not every day you get tortured and injected with truth serum.

you distinctly remembered just sitting in the third stall, your breath as quiet as possible as you listened to the conversation between robin and steve. your heart sank a bit hearing him confess that he liked her. he liked robin.

who were you to stand a chance against the steve harrington?

and then you heard it. “do you remember what I said about click's class? about me being jealous and, like, obsessed? yeah.”

“tammy thompson.” you remembered all the jealousy you felt about tammy thompson. “i wanted her to look at me. but she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. and i didn't understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. and you asked dumb questions. and you were a douchebag. and you didn't even like her and i would go home and just scream into my pillow.”

the truth was so obvious.

robin liked girls.

you liked girls.

you felt your lips purse together and your eyes begin to well up. you didn’t know why you were crying. was it out of relief? that your long time crush also liked girls? that maybe, just maybe, you had a chance?

it could’ve also been the drugs to be fair.

“but tammy thompson’s a girl.” god steve.

“you are so dense sometimes.” you mumble, crawling out of the third stall into the end stall where they were. you sat next to robin. you didn’t need to see yourself to know you looked like a mess.

steve opened his mouth. “oh. oh. holy shit.”

“holy shit is right.” robin leans against you. “i’m sorry (y/n). i-”

“it’s okay.” you say, taking her hand in yours. you began to stroke her knuckles gently with love. “i...”

steve looked at you with his eyebrows raised. “did you ever have a massive crush on someone?”

“yeah. i do.” your eyes flickered to robin’s. “at least she doesn’t sound like a muppet.”

“what does she sound like?” steve asks. robin looks at you curiously.

“she...” you struggled to bring up the words. “she sounds like...a goddess. and she’s my friend. and she even said she would come with me to watch the second nightmare on elm street movie. even if it won’t be good.”

robin blinked as it clicked in her head. her grip on your hand tightens and she pulls you closer. “and i wouldn’t change a thing.”

steve looks between the two of you before laughing. “guys, i would like to not be third wheeled in a mall bathroom.”

the three of you let out small laughs since that was all you guys could muster after everything you have been through.

every intimate moment with robin must be spent away from prying eyes. the movie theater is the perfect place for you two to hold hands and for you to rest your head on her shoulder as you guys watch another sappy, terrible rom com where the man treats his partner horribly and his partner clearly has more chemistry with her best friend.

you spend a lot of time at each other’s houses. most of the time, you guys don’t even do anything. maybe you put on a record or put in a vhs tape in the background. for the most part, you are content with laying against your girlfriend’s body, face buried in her neck as she holds you and talks about whatever she wants to talk about.

you love her cute rambles. you can’t help but giggle as you listen to her talk.

oh and that rasp. it makes you shiver every time you hear that rasp. robin doesn’t understand. at least steve gets it when you tell him.

you also love wearing robin’s clothes. her shirts and jackets are particularly very comfortable for you. you even wear them to school sometimes and no one notices. even if someone did, it’s easy to say you guys are so close that you swap clothes. a lot of people do it.

your favorite thing to do with robin, however, is go to the lake with her. you guys find an empty table. it’s late at night, the moonlight reflects on the water. you have a picnic basket with food and a small portable radio where you two listen to music. and you guys eat, talk, play a card game or two.

and at the end of the night, you get to kiss her after she gives you her jacket because you were cold.