#one day ill get this done and then i can actually put them on paper and then NO MORE ILLNESS

[autumnation]

everytime I want to finally draw an oc and get some development in, my brain always makes me unable to visualise them properly as if I haven't had these brainworms since I was 14

[feeder86]

Aaron's Empire

“Yes?” Aaron asked abruptly, seeing that Kirk was calling him yet again.

“He says he’s full already,” Kirk replied. “He’s only had three doughnuts and now he just wants to sit and watch a movie.”

Aaron sighed. As one of his newest recruits, Kirk was more than a little needy when it came to applying the skills that Aaron had tried to instil in him. Every year it seemed like there were more and more guys moving to the city with a kink for fattening up. Although Aaron hadn’t liked it, it had always been necessary for him to outsource to other feeders when he became overrun. He simply did not have the time to tackle all the boys who got in contact with him, desperate to be fattened and submit to him.

“Did you try the trigger words?” Aaron asked. “I made a list of the nicknames Jay gets the most aroused by. They’re all on the file I sent you: ‘Fatso’, ‘Piggy’… I think he even got pretty hard at ‘Lardass’ as well,” he rambled on, trying to recall his observations from the initial feed he had done himself with Jay, three months back.

“I tried them,” Kirk shot back. “Can you come over? I really don’t know what else to do.”

Sighing in frustration, Aaron ended the call. On paper, Kirk looked set to be an awesome feeder: good looking, athletic and masculine-looking. He was one of the star players in the college football team and seemed to have that natural air of authority about him. Feeding a short, little chub like Jay should have been simple. But this was the fourth time he’d got in contact, wanting more support. Perhaps he would make a good feeder one day, but that still seemed like a long way off.

“Thanks for coming,” Kirk smiled, opening the door to Jay’s apartment and seeing that Aaron had picked up a couple of pizzas along the way. He was whispering, having not told Jay that he had needed to get Aaron over to help him.

“Is that what you’re wearing tonight?” Aaron asked, indignantly, seeing the feeder’s attire. “What is with that sweater?” “It’s cold out tonight,” Kirk mumbled back.

“So?” Aaron grumbled, taking his own shirt and pants off as soon as he was through the door. “If you want these fatties to eat, you sell them the fantasy,” he pointed at his own staggeringly built and athletic body. “They don’t need the wholesome ‘boy next door’ look putting them off,” he sighed, still amazed by how average such a sexy guy could look in something so ill-fitting. “And would it kill you to put some product in your hair?” he continued, noticing that Kirk must have come straight from the showers after his football training. 

Kirk nodded, seeming to agree that he hadn’t made enough effort. He followed Aaron’s lead, removing the offending sweater and taking off his pants, despite the slight chill in the apartment. Then he went to the tap and brushed some warm water through his hair to fluff it up a little.

“Hello there, Fatso!” Aaron smiled, leading the way into the lounge area with the pizza boxes.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight as well!” Jay smiled, actually getting up from his chair. Back when Aaron had been feeding the guy himself, the chub had been well trained to stay sitting on his blubbery glutes the entire time he was there. His shirt wasn’t even off and he was wearing actual slippers on his feet, like an old man. Had Kirk really tried to initiate a kinky feeding session when the pig wasn’t even stripped? Just how many other rules like this had the boy been letting slide?

Aaron pulled Jay into a passionate kiss. He allowed both of their hands to roam freely, and by the time they came out of it, Aaron had successfully removed both Jay’s shirt and pants. “You’re looking so big now!” Aaron smiled, taking in Jay’s fattened physique: 350 lbs of tits, belly rolls and blubber.

“I’ve gained another 2 lbs since I saw you last!” Jay boasted, grinning with pride.

Aaron smiled, despite the irritation he felt. Two pounds in an entire month? Did he really think that was acceptable? Did Kirk not challenge him on such mediocre gains? After all the hours Aaron had put in training up the guy’s appetite, back when he was little more than a twink, a two pound gain should have been just a normal part of life for him now.

“Kirk tells me you’ve not got much of an appetite tonight?” Aaron went on, sitting the fat boy back down in his chair, where he belonged. “Is there any reason why?”

Jay looked a little awkward, but smiled as he saw Kirk coming to stand beside Aaron; his toned athlete’s body now on show. “The truth is,” Jay mumbled, “I’ve got my dad and step-mom coming to stay with me this weekend. My dad’s always been somewhat critical of me since I started getting fat. I guess it sort of dampens the appetite,” he sighed.

Aaron nodded sympathetically. “I understand,” he smiled sweetly. “Thank you for being so open with me. It must be incredibly hard for you. As kinky as it is to get this fat, explaining it to your family is never easy.”

“That’s it,” Jay agreed, visibly relaxing now he had shared his concerns aloud. He sat back a little more in his chair and rubbed his tummy. “It’s hard to eat tonight when I know my dad is going to be even more disappointed in me.”

Again, Aaron smiled. He tapped Kirk’s tight butt, silently ordering him into his position, behind Jay’s chair. The next movement was about to begin.

“I really do understand,” Aaron offered lovingly. “As you can imagine, I see it time and time again with all my boys.”

Jay smiled back, with little comprehension of how many guys across the city were actually fattening up under Aaron’s watchful eye.

“But, do you know who doesn’t care?” Aaron asked next, slipping off his underwear and letting his erection spring out. “This guy here,” he pointed at his already pulsing hardness. “He couldn't give a shit about all that sort of crap. The fat boys whinge about how full they are, or how none of their clothes fit. They bitch about their families, their friends not being supportive. They talk about how much they sweat now, how out of breath they get…” Aaron went on, rubbing his boner and seeing that Jay simply could not take his eyes off it. “But this guy…” Aaron emphasised again, “...he just couldn’t give a fuck! He actually gets off on it; their complaints and genuine concerns. He just wants to see them eat and grow, fatter and fatter every single day.”

Aaron nodded to Kirk, letting him know that it was time to tap the newly aroused fatty on the head, ordering him to start sucking. Then, only a few seconds later, Jay’s mouth enveloped as much of Aaron’s dick as possible, moaning with lust as he did so.

Kirk, who was now rubbing Jay’s back encouragingly, looked across at Aaron, clearly impressed at how quickly he had turned the situation around. However, Aaron merely stared back at him in annoyance. It wasn’t just the fact that Jay had always been so pathetically weak at giving blow jobs, but why hadn’t Kirk done this? How many times had he been told these strategies to get the pigs eating when they were less keen? Sometimes their mouths just needed a little warm up; a little lubricating. “Go get the pizzas,” he ordered sternly, about to begin yet another demonstration of how to stuff a pig to his absolute limit.

After that evening, Aaron assigned Jay to another of his feeders, hoping that Jay was simply a poor fit for him. In his place, he gave Kirk a new and highly motivated second year college student who had impressed him a lot when he’d interviewed him about why he wanted to be fattened up. Perhaps seeing the fattening process from scratch might give Kirk the kick up the ass that he needed.

“Five pounds?” Aaron asked, feeling exasperated. “You’ve had three months and that;s all you’ve done to him? He’ll lose that in no time now he’s gone home for the summer!”

“He had exams and stuff, though,” Kirk tried. “I didn’t want to get in the way.”

“Oh, come on, Kirk! How many times have I talked to you about stress eating? You missed a golden opportunity to really push some weight onto him there! He also tells me he’s working on a farm over the summer. How the hell did you let that happen? You know that’s too much exercise!”

“I didn’t really think it was my place to say anything…” Kirk mumbled, realising that he had messed up yet again.

“You’re the fucking feeder!” Aaron shouted, finally letting his frustration get the better of him. “Of course it’s your place to say these things to the pigs!”

Kirk sighed, disappointed with himself. “I’ll do better when I see him next. I promise.”

Aaron shook his head in disappointment yet again. He liked Kirk, he really did. He had all the hallmarks of a good feeder, with a pretty face that made everyone stop and stare. He had the sex appeal to make a guy eat if he really wanted them to. But his application of the basic feeder principles and training were utterly lost on him.

“Look, let’s just take this time as a little breather,” Aaron suggested. “I have some time off at the end of this month. You can come over to my place and we’ll do some little role plays and scenarios; stuff that should help you when your pig gets back for the new semester.”

Kirk nodded gratefully, knowing that he still had so much to learn.

“So, what is a feeder’s main objective?” Aaron asked a couple of weeks later as he led Kirk into his apartment.

The question clearly caught the football player off guard and a long pause followed before he finally answered. “That the pig eats everything we give them,” he offered, seeming confident.

Aaron shook his head. “You’re thinking too short term,” he shot back. “A feeder’s goal is, and always will be, the results: the tight pants, the fat gains, the number on the scales. That’s all that really matters. There are different ways to get there: meal plans, submission, dominance, you name it. But the feeder’s goal is always in the blubber he can pack onto his prey. Is that clear?”

Kirk nodded.

“That means that it really doesn’t matter if you never even use some of the strategies we’re going to revise today. As long as you get the results, that’s all I care about.”

“Okay. That makes sense,” Kirk agreed.

“Feeding is a sensual exercise,” Aaron began, taking his shirt off and removing his pants; still pumped from his gym workout that morning. “You’re never going to feed a pig to his full capacity unless you get the support you need. So where do you find that support?”

Kirk, who had been following Aaron’s lead and undressing, sat himself down in the guy’s feeding chair and pondered the question. “You mean I should call you?” he asked.

Again, Aaron sighed. None of this information should have been new to him. “No, Kirk! The best feeder a pig’s ever going to have is always right between his legs.” He reached out, holding the football player’s semi. “It’s the reason he first fell into gaining and it’s the thing that led him straight to you, so always make sure that you use it in the most effective way that you can,” he explained, rubbing Kirk’s dick until it stood firm and erect. “If fatty stops eating or starts slowing down, give some attention to this thing and you’ll soon see him getting hungry again.”

“Should I suck it?” Kirk asked keenly.

Aaron frowned at the silly question. “It’s entirely up to you. Just…get it hard and keep it that way. That’s all you need to worry about.”

Kirk settled a little more into his chair, enjoying this training more than the other sessions he had had with Aaron. He’d always done better with practical exercises, rather than trying to memorise the theory behind principles.

“Now, most of the time, your pig will buy his own food that he wants you to feed him. But, if ever you’re doing it, you’ve got to choose it all very carefully, thinking about the feeder’s goal… which is?” he quickly questioned.

“The results!” Kirk parroted back to him, pleased that he had remembered something at last.

“Exactly,” Aaron nodded, now pointing to the vast selection of food he had set up on the coffee table for his date with a long-term fatty who was coming over later. “Everything here is from the list I sent you back when you first started. These particular brands are all staggeringly high in calories and quickly digested.” He looked at Kirk’s blank face. “I’ll email the list over to you again then,” he simply stated, deciding not to pull Kirk up on his lack of studiousness.

“What would you start with?” Kirk asked, seeing it all spread out and presented so nicely.

“Well, that depends on your fatty’s preference. You should know what his favourites are; the things that are best to get him started. For example, what is it that catches your eye the most?”

“The cream cakes,” Kirk replied instantly.

“Very well,” Aaron smiled, picking one up. “Before I start, I look down. Is his dick hard? Yes. Are his eyes fixed on the food? Can I make him salivate?”

At that moment, Kirk swallowed a build up of saliva in his mouth.

“Pigs love to be played with. And, at the start, that’s fine. You can waft it under his nose,” he demonstrated comically. “You can dip your finger in the cream and tap it on his piggy little snout,” he joked, doing just that with Kirk. “But when the time comes to feed, you let them know that you’re serious,” he stated sternly. “Because this isn’t a game, is it? And you can’t let the fat boy treat it like one.”

Kirk slowly nodded his head.

“You get their eyes fixed on you now,” Aaron continued, ensuring that Kirk was doing just that. “They realise, you are the feeder. You are the one they are doing this for. During this time, only the two of you exist in the entire world. Pleasure and greed are the only things that have any consequence now. Nothing else.”

Kirk was absolutely silent, taking all of the information in like never before. He looked entirely fixed within the mindset of the boys he would someday feed. Out of a simple curiosity, Aaron brought the cake a little closer to the guy’s mouth, hardly believing that the jock’s jaws were unhinging. His mouth gaping open, Aaron pushed the cake beyond the point of no return, until it squished and fell upon Kirk’s tongue.

Suddenly Kirk was chewing, with his cheeks filled with cream. Had the guy completely misunderstood the concept of role-playing? Sure, the boy was always prettier than he was intelligent, but feeders didn’t do this. This food wasn’t for him. Yet his hardness throbbed every bit as much as the countless others Aaron had done this to in the past.

“Now you praise your pig,” Aaron explained, deciding to take the strange turn all in his stride and act like this was as he had planned. “You tell him how greedy he’s being; how large and fat this will all make him; how he’s going to struggle to get into his pants tomorrow.”

Kirk moaned with pleasure as the last of the cake was pushed into his mouth. He licked Aaron’s fingers clean; his greedy eyes now turning to the other items on the table. Intuitively, Aaron reached across and found the next item, holding it until it was ready and then pushing it deep inside the athletic boy’s mouth.

“Your pig is going to get thirsty pretty quickly, so you need your drinks to hand. These need to be equally high in calories,” he smiled, cracking open a can of soda. “Not too cold,” he stated cautiously. “Everything should flow. We hit them hard and fast while they’re in the zone.”

Kirk took the can of soda and chugged it in one.

Still determined not to show even the slightest bit of surprise, Aaron simply continued his tuition. “Don’t be tempted to just feed the pig what he likes,” he cautioned, seeing that Kirk’s eyes had fallen back onto the cream cakes. “We want to keep mixing up those flavours and textures, pouring in the liquid calories and making the pig wait for those favourites.”

Kirk nodded, accepting whatever was fed into his mouth.

“Always, ALWAYS keep an eye on his dick,” Aaron insisted, taking his hand to Kirk’s hardness and rubbing it for short, gentle periods. “He’s going to want to climax, but it’s your job to make him wait. You do not let him touch himself! His dick belongs to you. You call the shots. And the pig isn’t getting his pleasure until he’s completely stuffed.”

At this, Kirk seemed to redouble his efforts, eating faster and greedier than even before. He’d slipped perfectly into the role; indistinguishable in his apparent lust to feed. His stomach was bloating up, yet still he feasted.

“By this point, your pig is going to be completely disoriented. He’s lost track of what he’s eaten and he has no idea what’s coming next. He’s already massively overdosed on calories, but because of the speed you’re delivering it all to him, his brain hasn’t caught up yet. This is the stuffing ‘window of opportunity’, and you’ve got to push the fatty hard until it closes.”

The food on the table was quickly disappearing. It had been a few months since Aaron had fed a young athlete of Kirk’s stature; almost forgetting how much boys like this could gorge.

“You’ll know when it’s time to stop. The pace slows and they wince at the stretch. But any sign of heaving and you’ve already taken it too far,” Aaron stated. “You make them look you in the eyes again as you take their dick in your hand. You make them say ‘thank you’ for doing this to them, even though they might, even now, be starting to regret how much they have eaten. You tell them what a greedy pig they have been; what all those calories are going to do to their body.”

Kirk was already pulling a face as he felt his orgasm building.

“Now you make them rub their big ol’ tummy,” Aaron ordered, grabbing at Kirk’s limp wrist and placing the boy’s large hand on the top, and most swollen part, of his bloated stomach. 

Immediately, the jock’s hand began to explore that new, tightly-packed and solid shape; all so beautifully timed as his pleasure was about to peak.

“And as tough as it is to admit… this moment… the fatty’s actual climax; it’s really not about the feeder,” Aaron whispered now. “It’s about the pig realising what he’s done to HIMSELF; how completely fucked he is for getting so turned on, eating like he has for you.”

Kirk’s breathing was so erratic, with short, squeaking moans escaping from his lips every couple of seconds.

“You make the fat boy look you in the eye. Do what you want inbetween. You can make him promise to get fatter for you, make him oink like a pig, or force a final doughnut into his greedy little mouth; it really doesn’t matter,” he breathed, holding Kirk’s stare with a vice-like grip. “Just let the pig know that you see him for exactly what he is; that he can’t hide it anymore. That he is, and will always be, your greedy hog.”

A massive jet released from Kirk’s crotch, followed by several others, until an almost unfathomable amount of the boy’s excitement had covered his chest and splashed itself all over Aaron’s feeding chair. Yet more stains that would never come out.

Kirk’s charge was assigned a new feeder when he returned to college after the summer. Aaron had made the decision that the boy, who had been so keen to fatten up when Aaron had interviewed him, had been messed around enough by an inadequate feeder. In fact, Aaron had come to realise that Kirk wasn’t even that. Sure, Aaron had flipped feeders into gainers in the past. He even joked that most feeders came with an expiry date, when it would all become too much for them and they’d long for the blubber to be added to their bodies instead. But, Kirk was such a simple boy. Did he even realise yet that he was destined to become a fatty?

“I’m guessing you’ve played some good football in your time,” remarked Kirk’s football coach, heading over to speak to Aaron after he had seen the guy watching his boys play.

“Is it that obvious?” Aaron smiled, knowing that most people assumed he was some sort of football player, given his statuesque height and build. He shook hands with the guy, knowing just how to handle men like these, immediately inventing a backstory for himself in the game that would give him a lot more credibility with the coach. He folded his arms in the same way as him, mimicking the body language and slowly engaging the man enough so that he visibly relaxed more in his company; believing every word he said.

“So just one little broken ankle and that was your entire future NFL career gone?” the coach asked, full of sympathy.

“I think about it every single day,” Aaron lied, shaking his head bitterly. “But you’ve got some decent talent on the field here,” he smiled, pointing to the spot where all the young guys had last stood before heading in to shower.

“They’re okay,” the coach agreed, sounding unconvinced. “We’ve certainly had stronger teams in the past.”

Aaron nodded, as if he knew what he was talking about. “There was one who really caught my eye; the really tall one who spent most of the time over there,” he pointed.

“Kirk?” the coach asked. “Yeah, he’s a good player. Not necessarily the brightest guy I’ve ever come across. He’s quite versatile and plays in a variety of positions. I wouldn’t say he exactly excels in any of them though.”

“Have you ever thought about playing him as an offensive tackle?” Aaron asked. “From what I saw today, he looks more suited to that than anything.”

At this, the coach winced. “You should see some of the guys from the other teams in our league who play in that position. Kirk may be tall and strong, but he’d be dwarfed if he had to go up against them.”

“Bulk him up then,” Aaron shrugged, deciding to lift his arm and show off his bicep. “It’s what my coach did for me. It was the best thing that ever happened for my career. Before the ankle…” he added.

The two men discussed the idea for a little while longer, but Aaron had no intention of hanging around just in case Kirk came out and came over, giving the game away that they knew each other. Instead, he simply planted the seed and left it there to grow.

“When am I getting a new pig?” Kirk asked a couple of weeks later, settling into Aaron’s feeding chair.

“When I think you’re ready,” Aaron lied. “Which reminds me,” he smiled, pulling out his phone and playing a video to the football hunk. “Your last assignment’s new feeder sent me this. He’s getting great results with your old pig. Look at the blubber in that tummy now. His six pack is completely gone!”

“He looks completely different!” Kirk marvelled.

“That’s not even the best part,” Aaron chuckled, waiting for the section in the video when the pig turned and bounced his butt cheeks. “His new feeder says he’s never seen anything like it. It’s like the muscle just completely vanished and been replaced by pure blubber. Look at those thighs too! He’s going to be so bottom heavy!”

“That can’t be the same guy,” Kirk protested. “He didn’t gain like that for me.”

“Well, it’s all about finding the right technique that works for your pig,” Aaron explained, undressing himself and grabbing the supplies from the kitchen.

Kirk had followed his lead, kicking his shirt, sweatpants and underwear to the side and sitting himself back down again. An obvious coating and ring of light blubber sat around his middle from all the sessions Aaron had conducted with him in the last few weeks, but it wasn’t time to acknowledge that with him just yet.

“This is the shake and suck technique,” Aaron went on. “It’s the method that helped your old pig get that huge ass of his. I made this shake up this morning, so it’s had plenty of time to lose the chill.” Aaron heaved, lifting a huge gallon container of thick liquid and putting it on the coffee table with a bump. “You’ve had it plenty of times before. You know what’s in it,” he smirked.

“Yeah, but…” Kirk mumbled, looking at the size of the container. “I’ve only had the odd flask of it when we’ve been training. No one could drink that much of it.”

“That’s where this funnel comes in so handy,” the feeder smiled, lifting it up for Kirk to see. “It stops the pig from ending the chug the moment he starts to feel a little uncomfortable, and so it gives us a lot more control over how much we want the fat boy to take down.”

Kirk’s erection had returned. His legs twitched and he looked down suggestively at it. “What about the sucking part of this method?” he asked, knowing that no one gave a blow job like Aaron.

“It’s called the ‘shake and suck’ technique,” Aaron laughed. “As in… one BEFORE the other!” he teased, noting that Kirk appeared aroused enough to begin. “All you need to do is hold this flask, like this,” he instructed, resting Kirk’s head backwards into the chair at the same time. “Then just, chug away until the funnel is emptied.”

From his position, standing behind the feeding chair and looking over Kirk, Aaron could fully appreciate the gentle loss of definition in the boy’s stomach muscles. Today’s session was going to do so much more serious damage! He lifted the container and let it glug outwards, filling the funnel held steady by the athlete underneath. Just as instructed, the naive boy began swallowing it all up, even as Aaron continued to pour; never letting it get below half-way.

At the first break, Kirk moaned loudly, rubbing his enlarged stomach. Then he burped, long and coarsely, until he at last felt more comfortable. “Fuck!” he sighed. “How much of that stuff did you just pour in? I thought it was never going to end!”

“There’s plenty more, don’t you worry!” Aaron laughed, turning so that he could feed his own erection into Kirk’s mouth. “This is something you can only do at the start of this technique,” Aaron explained. “And you’ve got to go gentle. You can’t be making your pig gag when there’s all that fattening liquid in his stomach.”

Aaron could tell that Kirk was at last starting to learn some of the blow job skills he’d been taught in recent weeks. Aaron exhaled and felt his eyes widen. Shit, this guy was actually pretty good!

“And that’s enough of that,” Aaron smiled, pulling out before he lost his composure. “Back to business!” he ordered, placing the funnel back into Kirk’s hands. “This second chug has to be shorter, and the next one will be shorter again,” he explained, already pouring from the now considerably lighter container and looking down to check that Kirk’s hardness wasn’t faltering.

At the end of the second chug, Kirk moaned once more and gave off a long fog-horn like burp. However, this time his stomach was so rounded and stretched, actually resembling a belly for the first time. Without even prompting, Kirk’s hands began exploring it as Aaron engaged in a gentle first suck in his crotch. Not that Aaron would ever have told him, but already over two thirds of the gallon of gainer shake was gone.

“Depending on your pig, this method can take all day. And that’s fine,” Aaron nodded. “The main thing is, we want that shake inside them.”

Automatically, Kirk rested his head back again the moment he felt ready. The third session began and Kirk was soon enjoying the rewards of having Aaron’s lips around his erection once more.

“A pretty effective technique, huh?” Aaron laughed, just stopping as Kirk seemed about to climax.

“Let’s finish this thing!” Kirk grunted, throwing his head back and knowing that the end was near. Fuck the consequences. He needed that orgasm soon.

“You want me to take on another pig?” asked Jack, one of Aaron’s most capable feeders, a few weeks later. “That’s two in the last six weeks!”

Aaron nodded apologetically. “I know. I would do it myself, but I just don’t have the time. His name’s Peter; twenty-two, already chubby; great little appetite when I interviewed him. He wants pushing hard, and he’s kinky as fuck. I think you’ll have a lot of fun with him,” he summarised, showing Jack a picture before sending over the contact details.

“Cute!” Jack smiled. “Are you sure you’re okay with letting me have all the fun?”

“I just know you’ll do a great job,” Aaron chuckled, slapping the guy on his back.

Jack simply smiled back knowingly. “I bumped into Kirk the other day. He told me you haven’t given him a pig in months.”

Aaron raised his eyebrows. “Well, there are reasons for that.”

“You’re flipping him, aren’t you?” Jack pressed. “Kirk tried to tell me that his coach is bulking him up to play a new position on the field, but there’s no denying your handiwork on that little paunch of his. That’s where most of your time is going these days, isn’t it?”

“Possibly,” Aaron smirked, liking how direct Jack could be at times. “I’m throwing everything at him and I’ve yet to find a single one of my moves that doesn’t work on him.”

“Does he realise?” Jack asked.

“What do you think?” Aaron laughed, knowing that he didn’t need to hide his wicked side with a guy like Jack. “I’ve even got him writing up an assignment for me on the ‘feeder training’ he’s had in the last few weeks! He’s coming round this evening for the ‘Funnel, Fuck and Flip’ exercise.”

Jack chuckled. He’d only met Kirk a handful of times, so could hardly pity the guy if he had fallen into one of Aaron’s typical games. “So when are you going to make your move on him?” he asked.

“Soon,” Aaron smiled. “He’s almost ready now… Just one last little push!”

Later that evening, Kirk bent himself against the table with his legs stretched. His stomach was hard and swollen with gainer shake, drooping down as his head was held only inches above a decadent three-layered chocolate cake.

“Not many guys can hold an erection like I can,” Aaron explained, having pushed himself inside Kirk’s tight butt hole with a lot less wincing from the athlete than in previous weeks. “So don’t worry if you struggle with this move when you’re feeding a fatty this way.”

“Okay,” Kirk mumbled back, breathing deeply as his body tried to get used to the sheer size of Aaron’s thick hardness inside of him. “I think I’ll be ready in a second,” he whispered.

“Good,” Aaron replied, trying not to laugh. He leaned a little more over Kirk’s broad back. “Now, messy pigs adore this one. All I’m going to do is gently lower your head into the cake before I start fucking you.”

“So the pig has to try and eat whilst he’s getting pounded?” Kirk asked.

“That’s the idea,” Aaron smirked.

“Is that even possible?” Kirk asked again.

“I guess you’ll soon find out,” Aaron chuckled, checking that Kirk was ready and then pushing his head gently into the cake so that his entire face was covered in frosting. “Good Piggy!” he called out, already starting to fuck him. Despite the many fatties he’d worked on over the years, few were ever as thrilling as this!

A few weeks later, Kirk had arrived at Aaron’s in a somewhat distracted mood. “Coach says I’ve put on too much fat in my bulk, and that it’s affected my performance on the field.”

“Of course you have,” Aaron shrugged, getting himself undressed as Kirk did the same. “How else am I supposed to teach you about how to tease a fat ass properly? You can’t make an omelette without cracking a few eggs.”

Kirk seemed to consider this.

“Now is the time when you can really get to grips with your pig’s trigger words. Some of them love being called out on being a pig, whereas others are not keen. Some don’t even like teasing at all.”

“So you ask them what words they like to be called?” Kirk asked.

“No,” Aaron sighed, wondering how he ever thought that Kirk could make a good feeder. He simply had no intuition at all. “You try the words out and see what works best. Which ones suit them? Which ones get them the hardest? That’s the way I figured out yours.”

“I have trigger words?” Kirk shot back in surprise.

“Of course you do. All FAT BOYS do,” Aaron smiled, poking Kirk in his doughy middle, making the guy’s hardness bounce. “‘Fat Boy’: the name works on you every time. I never could have got you to complete that pot of whipping cream last week without it.”

“Fuck!” Kirk marvelled, perhaps realising for the first time just how much Aaron had actually burrowed into his head. “Are there more?”

“Of course there are,” Aaron nodded. “There are movements too. Like when I cup your glutes and give them a little bounce,” he demonstrated, giving Kirk’s butt cheek the lightest of wobbles. “See?” he asked, nodding down at Kirk’s weeping erection. “You’ve been so firm and athletic your whole life, this is a completely new experience for you. The feeling of fresh fat invading your body. It’s why being called a ‘fat ass’ works so well on you too.”

Aaron kissed him deeply as he continued to jiggle the boy’s glutes. Kirk’s breathing was hot and heavy; more aroused than ever he had been so early into their sessions. This was new and exciting.

“Few people would spot it in you; partly because you're so broad and muscular. But you’re also a very submissive boy,” Aaron continued.

“I am?” Kirk asked. “I thought feeders had to be mostly dominant?”

At this Aaron sniggered. “Oh, come on, Kirk!” he smiled, still bouncing the soft glutes. “You’re no feeder.”

Kirk closed his eyes to appreciate the feeling of his jiggling butt cheeks. “What am I then?” he whispered, sounding like he was finally ready to hear the truth.

Aaron placed his mouth right next to Kirk’s ear and whispered back, deploying the boy’s ultimate trigger word. 

“You’re my big, fat HOG!”

Just like that, Kirk moaned like he had been shattered into a thousand pieces. He pulled Aaron into him and kissed him with more passion than ever before.

“You’re going to quit football for me,” Aaron demanded, immediately seizing the moment as Kirk had surrendered himself; a part of him released and fully conscious for the first time.

“I’ll do anything!” Kirk agreed, allowing himself to be pushed into the feeding chair; another stuffing about to commence.

“Good!” Aaron grinned. “Because you’re moving in here with me too. I’m taking a six month sabbatical from the other fatties. I want to see what I can do when I just devote myself to one little hog, twenty four hours a day. How far can I take them?”

Kirk looked down at his stout little belly and his eyes filled with lust. “I’m all yours!”

[andreafmn]

12 Days of Ficmas ❅ Day 1

Word Count: 4.8K Paring:  Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader Prompt @alloftheprompts: Character A and Character B broke up but now they meet at a Christmas party.

Summary: In unpredictable Beacon Hills, Stiles and (Y/N) being together was one of the only things that made sense. But sometimes the smallest of changes can create the biggest of chaos. And a simple college admission letter can do just that. Maybe all it takes is the right Christmas gift to make things better.

A/N: yup, that's right, I'm doing 12 Days of Ficmas again (even if I haven't finished Kinktober 🫣🫣 but I am nothing if not a masochist (and a slight procrastinator) But enjoy!! This story actually made me tear up, honestly. But it wouldn't be one of my stories if there wasn't an insane amount of angst 😅 Also, disclaimer, I have not seen the last two seasons of Teen Wolf or the movie so, sorry for any inconsistencies.

Next ->

“Let’s just get this over with,” (Y/N) sighed as she fixed the Santa hat on top of her head. “They don’t have to know yet.”

“Yeah,” Stiles grimaced. “It’s better to wait until after the holidays, I guess.”

It was the first time Stiles and (Y/N) had ever been terrified to enter Scott’s house and face all of their friends. Even worse, they had to pretend everything was fine between them. 

Since they were little, the pair had been inseparable. Being next-door neighbors allowed them to grow close at a rapid pace. It was in her that he found solace on the nights his mother’s illness would take the best of her mind. He would run over to her house and climb the lattice that ran all the way up to her room. 

And she wouldn’t ask questions. (Y/N) would simply let him in through her window and distract him until he eventually drifted off to sleep. She did not need any explanations or reasons to comfort Stiles. She simply knew he needed her, and so she was there for him. Because if there was anything she knew of, it was the pain of slowly losing a parent.

They shared a bond that no one could break. Even as Scott entered their duo and they became the perfect trio, Stiles and (Y/N) shared a connection like no other. So, it came as no surprise to anyone when they got together. Even after Stiles had continuously professed his love for Lydia. Even after (Y/N) and Boyd had a quick fling. Everyone knew that it would be the two of them at the end of the day. 

What no one expected was that one day, they wouldn’t be Stiles and (Y/N) anymore. Hell, not even they had seen it coming. 

Their downfall had begun the second week of December. For some reason, the couple had not spoken about what happened after high school. In their senior year, they were focusing on the present, leaving the future where it was. Because what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them. 

(Y/N) had applied under early action to various colleges, thinking nothing of it. But there was one college that had been her dream since her father had passed, and that was her only early decision application. She had worked every day since to make sure she was at least close to being accepted. But it was never a sure thing. 

She had promised herself to put it in the back of her mind. Stressing over that envelope would only drive her into madness. As much as she wanted it to be true, she knew the reality of the situation. The chances she could ever get in, much less with a full ride, were slim to none. And hoping only made things worse.

Still, that hadn’t stopped her from applying; it hadn’t stopped her from wishing. 

“Honey,” her mother had said one afternoon after she got home from school. “Look what came in the mail.” 

In her hands, there was a white manila envelope with blue lettering that clearly read: University of Oxford. 

(Y/N) could have sworn she could feel her heart in her throat, beating at an unnatural pace and threatening to leap out of her body. She crossed the distance between her front door to the kitchen faster than she had ever done before, needing to feel the paper in her hands. Only seeing it was not proof enough that it was real. 

“I don’t think I can open it,” the girl worried. “What if it’s bad, mom?”

“You won’t know unless you see, my darling,” she smiled softly. “But no matter what, you will still be the most impressive young lady I have known. And any college would be lucky to have you.”

With trembling hands, she broke open the envelope and pulled out a beautiful and crisp piece of white paper. “Dear (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” she read before taking a steadying breath. “It is with greatest pleasure that we inform you that the Admissions Comittee has decided to offer you admission to Oxford University through our binding Early Decision (ED) option on a full scholarship.”

As (Y/N) read those words, tears spilled from her eyes, and the papers fell from her hands. Her mother wrapped her arms tightly around her, showering her with words of love and encouragement. It had been everything she had worked for. Something not even the supernaturals of the world could take from her. 

“You’re going to Oxford, baby girl,” her mother cooed. “I knew you could. Your dad would have been just as proud as I am.” 

That moment should have been the happiest in her life so far. But there was a dark cloud that lingered over her as she celebrated. She had not told anyone she was applying to a college so far away, much less the reason she would be doing so. Mostly because she was terrified she wouldn’t get in. But part of her knew it was because she was leaving all her friends behind, leaving Stiles behind. And that was the hardest part. 

For the rest of the week, as she celebrated internally, she hid the biggest news of her life from all of her friends and the boy she had deemed the love of her life. Anyone would have thought she was the one harboring a secret supernatural life with the way she was guarding her secret. And, maybe it shouldn’t have been something she kept to herself. Maybe they would have all been excited for her and understood the reason for the distance. But something deep in her stopped her every single time. 

If her friends had noticed there was anything different from her demeanor, they didn’t say a thing. In the midst of final exams and the Christmas holidays soon approaching, everyone seemed to be stuck in their own heads. So, if they were in their heads, they couldn’t know there was something happening in hers.  

But that Friday night, at the same hour Stiles would always sneak in, (Y/N) knew there was no way she could continue to hide her secret any longer. 

“Come on,” he chuckled as he jumped onto her bed, holding his arms open. “Tell me what’s going on with you.” 

“What do you mean?” she said, forcing a smile. “Why do you say that?”

“You know you can’t lie to me. I may not have super hearing, but I can tell, (Y/N).” 

“Yeah,” she chuckled softly. “You know me too well.” 

“Of course I do,” he smiled as he crossed the distance between them and caressed the softness of her cheek. “Now, please, tell me what’s wrong?” 

That was it. That was the moment that had changed them, the moment that had broken them. 

(Y/N) took a steadying breath and took his hands in hers, focusing on the veins on his hands rather than his worried eyes. “I got a letter last week,” she started with a sigh. “I told you about all the colleges I had applied to as early action.” 

“Of course, you bright mind, you,” he said. “Did you already start getting the acceptance letters?” 

“Uh, there’s another college I actually applied to. Early decision.”

“Like binding early decision?”

“Yeah, exactly,” she said, her voice trembling as she spoke. “I, uh, I applied to the University of Oxford. And I got in.”

Instead of embracing her, Stiles dropped her hands, taking a step away from her. “In England?” he asked as though he was offended. “Why would you wanna go that far?”

“It’s not about the distance,” she grimaced, finally meeting his hurt eyes. “It’s about what that school means. That’s where my dad went to school. That’s the place my parents met. That was the school that started my entire life, Stiles.” 

“So, why didn’t you tell me about it? If it was so damn important, why did you never mention it?” Stiles seethed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “You wanna start a new life, is that it? Follow in your parents’ footsteps and meet the love of your life there? Great, (Y/N). And you made sure you did it in a way you couldn’t back out.”

“Stiles, that’s not…”

“So, what? Were you gonna wait until graduation to tell me that you were moving halfway across the world to get away from us? From me?” the boy cried. “Or were you simply going to disappear and start a new life without telling anyone? But I guess that’s your thing now, huh? Keeping big shit like this until you can’t anymore.”

“That’s not fair, Stiles,” she frowned, hugging her arms tightly across her torso. “I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I didn’t say anything. That doesn’t mean that I would have never told you about it. I’m not looking to escape. I’m looking to start my future.” 

“And it looks like you were starting it without me then,” he croaked. “What does that mean for us, (Y/N)? We ride it out until graduation, and then you leave for the rest of your life?” 

“I don’t… you wanna b-break up?” 

“It’s inevitable now, isn’t it?” Stiles said in a tone that broke her more than the words he was speaking. “You’re gonna be in England, and I’m gonna be god knows where. It’s better just to do it now.” 

That night was nothing like she had imagined it would be. She had hoped Stiles would have been excited for her and promised her everything would be alright. That somehow he would have the answers to how they could withstand so much distance because they had to make it. Out of everyone in their friend group, those two had to make it. 

Instead, it had taken a turn for the worse. One second, Stiles was standing before her with a smile on his face, and the next, he was leaving through her window with tears streaming down his face. What she had most been dreading was that scenario to play out, and a week before their friend’s holiday party, it had. They had gone through life-threatening and mind-boggling situations, but it was a college acceptance letter that broke them apart. 

The coming days (Y/N) spent buried in bed. Although she should have been celebrating one of her biggest achievements –other than saving lives and defeating many, many creatures– she had wasted more tears during that time than she had done the past years of her life. She was distraught and defeated, and she had no idea how she would make it through the last semester of high school, much less how she would have made it through a Christmas party. 

Somehow, they had arrived at Scott’s house at the same time, even after she had made sure she left twenty minutes after Stiles. The universe liked to play its mean tricks, but that one was almost unforgivable. 

“Let’s just try to stay out of each other’s way,” he grimaced. “The less we are near each other, the harder it’ll be for them to find out.” 

“Harder to find out what?” Scott asked as he swung the front door open, his signature goofy grin stretched across his mouth. Instinctively, Stiles draped his arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders and smiled brightly. “Ooh, did you bring your brownies, (Y/N)?” 

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Still warm from the oven.” 

“Wouldn’t be a party without them,” Stiles commented. “Now, let us in. It’s kinda cold out tonight.” 

The second they were inside, Stiles broke for the living room while (Y/N) moved to the kitchen with Scott. She set the tray on the overfilled kitchen island, noticing to the side that the dinner table was perfectly set up. “Oh, the table looks nice,” she commented. “But I thought we’d be doing something more low-key.” 

“Yeah,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Lydia thought it’d be fun to do a more grown-up dinner party.” 

“Yeah. Place settings and everything.” 

“We were waiting for you guys to start eating,” he said. “We’re doing gifts after.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

Slowly, the rest of the group trickled into the kitchen, greeting and hugging (Y/N) as they looked over all the food and served themselves their plates. And, of course, her seat was right next to Stiles’. Even if she had wanted to sit anywhere else, the rest had already taken their assigned seats, and the only open spot was the one that had her name. 

She gave her ex-boyfriend a small smile, looking anywhere but into the brown of his eyes. Her heart beat against her chest, threatening to jump out of her body. It made her fidgety as everyone ate, thinking any of the wereanimals around her would be able to tell how she was feeling. 

But Scott was laughing with Stiles, Malia was talking to Lydia, and Hayden, Liam, and Mason had their own conversation running. (Y/N) was all by herself. She was surrounded by all the people she loved, but it was the loneliest she had felt in a long time. Without the usual comforting words from Stiles, she couldn’t help but feel so out of place. It was the happiest time of the year, but the girl was miserable, and it hurt that it didn’t seem like the boy she loved was sad as well. 

“Alright,” Lydia spoke up as everyone ignored their mostly empty plates. “Now that our bellies are full, I think it’s time for Secret Santa! And I truly hope you all kept it a secret this time.” 

“Not that it’d matter anyway,” Liam chuckled. “We all know we ask for help every time.” 

“Anyways,” she said, ignoring the soft laughter that erupted from the group. “Let’s go to the living room, and (Y/N) you’ll go first.”

“Oh, uh, sure,” she smiled as she followed the group into the living room. She crouched under the decorated Christmas tree, pulling out the gift that had been there for almost two weeks. “I got Lydia.” 

“How wonderful!” the redhead mused, quick to hug her friend and rip away the wrapping paper. Inside the gift box was a mosaic picture of Lydia, Allison, and (Y/N), the first time they had finally considered each other friends. “Oh, it’s beautiful! I wish I could take it with me everywhere.” 

“It was hard to get it just right, but I loved how it turned out.” 

“It’s perfect, (Y/N),” she beamed. “Thank you.” 

“Of course. I love you, Lids.” 

“Love you too,” the girl said as she wrapped her friend in a tighter hug. “My turn!”

Lydia had gifted Liam nine books out of his TBR list —nine because of his lacrosse number. Then, Liam gifted Scott a new leather jacket so he could “actually look cool when riding his motorcycle,” Liam snickered. Scott then gifted Malia a light blue hoodie to add to her ever-growing collection, while Malia gifted Hayden a journal and pen set, saying it was for when her mind felt too busy. After a warm smile and a hug, she announced her gift was for Mason, laughing as he pulled out an ugly cat sweater. Once the loud laughter subsided, Mason gifted Stiles a massage mat for his Jeep. 

“For when you’re taking really long drives,” the boy smiled, clearly proud of himself. “There’s quite some distance between here and D.C. It’ll come in handy.” 

“Yeah,” he chuckled as he hugged Mason. “Thanks, man. It’s great.” 

“Don’t mention it.”

As Mason sat back down, Stiles cleared his throat as he pulled the last gift. Everyone knew by then who it was for. There was no one else left. “Well, I guess you all know who this is for,” he said. “I hope you like it, (Y/N).” 

The girl received the bag with a soft smile, trying her best to swallow the tears that were threatening to spill. She had forgotten for a second how cruel the universe could be. She pulled out the white tissue paper first before finding a beautiful brown bear dressed in a blue knit sweater. Around its neck, there was a necklace with something she could only assume was a soundwave. With curiosity washing over her, she looked to Stiles for an explanation. 

“Uh, so, it’ll make a lot more sense if you press the bear’s hand,” he stammered. Once she died as told, the sound broke her. From deep in the belly of the teddy bear, her father’s voice rang out, singing the words of “You Are My Sunshine.” There was not a single night when she was little that her father didn’t sing that to her, and even as she grew old for the lullaby, he would call her sunshine. “I got a recording from your mom of your dad singing the song when you were a baby,” Stiles spoke over the music. “And the necklace is the image of the soundwave of your dad calling you sunshine.” 

Tears had long since fallen down her cheeks, clutching the bear in her arms as though it was her own father. With her eyes closed, it was almost as though he was right there, singing to her. But it was what came after the song that shattered her. “You’re gonna do great things, (Y/N),” her father said through the bear. “I love you forever, my little sunshine.” 

At that moment, all she wanted to do was hug Stiles and kiss him like she had done a million times before. That was the boy she had fallen in love with. The one that cared and listened. The one that had made her heart race and her stomach turn into butterflies. She wanted to tell him she loved him and never let him go, but she couldn’t. Just like she could never do with her father. 

“I, uh,” she said as she stood from the couch, feeling as though she would faint in the crowded room. “I need some air.” 

(Y/N) stammered her way out of the living room and through the front door, only allowing herself to break down when she was at the end of the driveway. She fell to her knees and hugged the bear to her chest as she cried, letting the hurt that had accumulated over the years spill onto the pavement. In less than six months, she was going to walk into a new life halfway across the globe without the support of her father and now, without the support of Stiles. All alone. 

She should have been celebrating. She knew that. She should have been crying tears of joy and jumping into her love’s arms. Instead, it was the bear’s arms that she could feel. The softness of its fur, the sound of her father’s voice. 

Without even realizing it, she had begun singing along to the lullaby, sniffling between words as the tears didn’t relent. “You’re gonna do great things, (Y/N),” her father said once more through the bear. “I love you forever, my little sunshine.” 

“I love you too, dad,” she cried. 

“Hey,” his voice startled her. Through teary eyes, she looked up to find Stiles draping a jacket over her shoulders. He slid to the ground next to her, facing the house before them as she was now. “I’m sorry. I bought the gift weeks ago, and I wasn’t sure if I was still allowed to give it to you.” 

“No, it was… i-it was perfect,” she stammered, running her hand over the bear’s fur. “It’s just everything rushed over me. Like the breakup, the fact that I won’t be here next year, the fact that my dad won’t even see me gradua…”

Another string of sobs ransacked (Y/N)’s body, but that time it wasn’t the bear she was hugging. Stiles had wrapped his arms around her, pressing her into his chest. She could smell his cologne and feel his warmth, a feeling she had missed for the past seven days. All she wanted was to melt into his touch and profess to him all that she felt. But she couldn’t. Not anymore. Because he didn’t want it. 

“I didn’t want things to be this way,” she cried into his chest. “I didn’t want everything to fall apart.” 

Stiles remained quiet as she cried, a hard feat for someone like him. But he let her cry and cry until only quiet sniffles filled the air. Because he hadn’t wanted things to be that way either. 

He knew he had overreacted. When he had told (Y/N) his plans of enrolling in George Washington University all the way across the county, she had told him they could make it work. Especially if she got into any of the ivy leagues she had applied to on the East Coast. It had been fine. Hell, it had been perfect. 

But when she told him that she wouldn’t just be a couple of states away but that she would be on another continent, he couldn’t help but let his abandonment issues take control. 

He knew she was brilliant. He knew she deserved to do and be all that she had dreamed. But he feared that once she achieved all of her goals, he would just not fit into her life anymore. 

“You’re gonna go on to do great things, (Y/N),” he sighed sadly as her tears stopped. “You’re gonna go to Oxford, just like your parents, and you’re gonna probably graduate at the top of your class on your way. And I’ll be here —well, in Washington, technically—cheering you on.”

“But why couldn’t we be great together, Stiles? We couldn’t we both go on to do great things, together?”

“Come on, (Y/N). Once you’re there, you’re gonna meet so many people, and you’ll have guys falling on their knees for you,” he chuckled dryly. “I won’t fit into your new world. I mean, you said it yourself: that’s where your parents met and your life began. And now, maybe you’ll have a new beginning. And years from today, we’ll run into each other, and you’ll tell me about your job and your husband and your kids, and I’ll be so happy for you. Because you serve all the love and happiness in the world, even if it’s without me.”

“Have you even asked yourself if that’s what I want?” (Y/N) asked as she left his warm embrace, her red eyes boring into his. “I’m not leaving because I’m searching for a new life. I want to go to Oxford because it’s one of the last things I can share with my dad. I can walk down the same halls he did, I can take classes in the same classrooms, and eat at the same places he did. But I was always going to come back, Stiles. Because my friends are here, my mom is here, because you are here. I don’t want to run into you and talk about another man or the kids I would have with him. I don’t want to run into you at all. I want to walk beside you, Stiles. If I ever have kids, it’s only if they’re a part of you too,” she cried, fresh tears falling down her already-stained cheeks. “If you don’t love me anymore, then fine. I can understand that, and I can walk away. But don’t you dare say that you wouldn’t fit into my life because you’ve been there longer than anyone I know, and I need you to be there until the end. Because I already lost someone important to me and I can’t lose you too. Not you.” 

“(Y/N), I don’t want to lose you either,” he sobbed. “But how can we fight with the distance? How could we ever withstand the fact that we’ll be an ocean away?”

“We have gone through worse battles than a plane ride, Stiles. We have been on the brink of death more times this past year than any person would in their lifetime. Do you really think being in a different time zone is the limit to our relationship? I know the future isn’t promised but you were the one person I always knew would be there.”

“I’m scared, okay?! I’m scared that you’ll meet someone better than me, (Y/N). I’m terrified that you’ll realize that maybe I’m not the guy that can give you your happy ever after,” he finally confessed. His voice croaked, and his chest heaved as the words fell out of his mouth faster than he could ever stop them. “This week has been torture without you. But it’s made me realize that Beacon Hills has always been too small for you. After May, you’re gonna go out there and find your place. And this town will be nothing but a memory you’ll come back to.”

“There is no one better for me than you, Stiles, and Beacon Hills will always be my home,” she replied softly. Her cold hand found his cheek, and she wiped away his tears with her thumb. “I don’t want to know a life where you’re not there. You can’t give up on us without even trying, Stiles. You just can’t.” 

Without thinking twice, (Y/N) crashed her lips onto his, sinking into the warmth of his mouth. After a week, kissing him felt like the very first time. It was desperate and filled with need —the need for closeness and passion, the need for love. Instinctively, Stiles’ hands found her waist and pulled her closer to him, wondering how he ever thought he could live without her touch. 

“I love you, Stiles, and I don’t even want to think about ever having to love someone else,” she whispered as she parted from him. “My heart belongs to you. And if this is the end, it’ll still remain in your hands.” 

“I couldn’t love anyone else like I love you, (Y/N),” he replied with a soft smile. “But I just can’t help the thoughts that flood my brain sometimes.” 

“Then don’t listen to them and listen to me when I say that since the moment I met you, I’ve known you were it for me. There is no other man waiting for me in Oxford. It’s you, and it will always be you,” (Y/N) said before kissing him softly once more. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me, Stiles Stilinski, and you’re the only thing that I want to keep happening to me.”

“I can’t believe I ever broke up with you. Especially during Christmas,” Stiles chuckled as he rested his forehead against hers, flicking the tip of her nose with his own. “It was honestly the worst week of my life.” 

“Including being possessed?” Scott’s voice startled them as he came into view. “Although, I get it because this was completely avoidable.”

(Y/N) chuckled as she took Scott’s extended hand and got on her feet, wiping away any tears that still remained. “Did you hear that whole thing?”

“More or less,” he chuckled. “It’s a bit hard not to when I was coming to see if you guys were okay.” 

“We’re good now, Scotty,” Stiles grinned. “Just had some unresolved feelings to work, though.” 

“Can you not mention the whole thing about the breakup? I don’t wanna make it a whole thing.”

“That’s a bit hard, (Y/N),” Malia called from the open front door. “We all kind of already know.”

“Oh, cool, great,” she said as she hid in Stile’s embrace. “That’s not embarrassing at all.”

“Eh, at least our parents are back together,” Liam commented. “Best Christmas present.” 

“It really is, huh?” Stiles whispered as he kissed the top of her head. 

“Yes. Very cute and adorable,” Lydia added in a desperate tone. “Now, can we go back inside before Hayden and Mason finish all the brownies?”

As the group walked back into the house, Stiles and (Y/N) shared one more moment together on the front porch. “Hey, look up,” Stiles said with a smile. “Mistletoe.”

“Funny that they’d hang that at a werewolf's home,” she chuckled. “Although, I’m pretty sure that one’s plastic.”

“And I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to kiss me.”

“Maybe I’m waiting for another guy to kiss under the plant.” Stiles frowned at her words, and all she could do was laugh. “Too soon?”

“Much,” he said. “Now, come here.”

He snaked his hands on either side of her face and kissed her passionately. He kissed her for every day they had spent apart. He kissed her for every hurtful word he had spewed. He kissed her as a promise of his love for her. Stiles kissed her like she was his future. 

Next ->

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[oneshotnewbie]

Can you make a oneshot where Alex Danvers plays Mario Kart with Baby Danvers because Baby Danvers is sick?

ᕚ---ᕘ

Already the day before at the DEO you showed small signs of illness during a mission. Weakness, indescribable sweating, mixed with a high fever and flu-like symptoms whereupon J´onn sent you home to rest.

He noticed that one of his favorite Danvers actually looked a little more sickly than they were letting on and grimaced. Even if you shook your head frantically and tried to suppress a cough, your eyes were dull, your skin pale and your cheeks seemed to glow in an unusual reddish color.

In that state, he did not want you to continue working.

Even after J´onn called your siblings to the lab you were working in and the redhead put a hand on your forehead, you did not let go of your lie. "Hey, girls. I am not sick," you said with a sniffling nose and yet they were undeterred and sighed almost in unison. "You are running a fever. Kara will take you home now and you will go to bed. No back talk."

Nodding, you stood up, took off your lab coat and disappeared from the small lab into the changing room. You gave up arguing with your siblings, had to admit to yourself that they were right.

Your head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. You have not been feeling so great for days. You froze no matter how high you turned the heater on in the lab, your nose ran non-stop and made it difficult for you to breathe. Your throat was sore when you ate or drank, and you had a sore taste on your tongue from the violent fits of coughing you were trying to suppress.

Kara took you home, had quickly rummaged in the bathroom for pills and medicine in the drawer for headaches and coughing. She put all the different medicines on the table in the living room and prepared a teapot for you, humming softly to herself.

Meanwhile you lay down on the sofa and closed your eyes. You were very lucky to have such wonderful sisters, they were the ones who looked after you so lovingly when you were sick and vice versa.

"Here, I made you some tea. I want this pot to be empty before Alex and I come home tonight," she said, smiling at you. You gratefully accepted the tea and rubbed your forehead with the back of your hand before taking a sip from the full cup. "Will be done, mom."

The blonde rolled her eyes before kissing you on the top of your head and leaving you alone. She wanted to stay with you and take care of you, but today was one of those days when Supergirl was constantly needed.

You spent most of the day resting, falling into a peaceful sleep shortly after Kara´s disappearance. You woke up briefly in the afternoon and turned around, but your body did not want to go back to sleep so you made it your mission to counteract your boredom.

Laying comfortably on a pillow in front of the TV, you rekindled your childhood. Water and tea were set aside, some cough drops from the bag spilled wildly across the table while blank papers of them lay on the floor.

The images of Mario Party, Bandicoot and SpongeBob SquarePants flickered on the flat screen TV for the next few hours, immersing you in your own world. Only when your two siblings came home with dinner that evening did you come back to reality.

ᕚ---ᕘ

During the dinner together, the redhead asked you to compete against her in Mario Kart and your face looked determined to finish her off. Meanwhile, Kara was tired after the hard day and lay down on the free couch, watching Yoshi and King Boo shooting each other.

You fidgeted happily on your stomach to adjust your awkward position on the floor, leaning slightly against your big sister and uttered a few loud coughs meanwhile the redhead tried to focus on what was happening on the screen while taking a sip from her beer.

You really enjoyed being around your sisters in a calm environment without work getting in the way. And even if you were actually too old for something like that, the whole thing was still a lot of fun for all of you.

You drove skillfully and calmly along the routes while Alex concentrated on every little thing on the screen and pressed the buttons with sweaty hands. Kara, on the other hand, ate the last potstickers that were left and could not help but laugh at the soft curses coming from the oldest Danvers.

Cheering, you threw the controller in front of you after your deserved victory and turned to Kara, who sat amusingly on the sofa and watched you conquer the Mario Kart tracks. Her gaze literally melted away at your happy sight of the golden trophy. "Look who is at the top of the list and who only came third and got beaten by an non player character," you stated and a wide grin spread across your still sickly looking face.

"You do not play fair! You cheat!"

Alex was not too thrilled about standing on the last winner´s podium. Usually, she way always the first when she played against Winn. But you were a tougher opponent, with good luck for the gifts.  "I do not cheat! I gave you time to pass me several times-" you began, but were immediately cut off. "Nevertheless you managed to sneak up on me from behind and then throw those green Koopa things at me"

"It is not my fault thatyou drive like an old granny in first gear!" you stuck out your tongue and leaned towards her. The redhead rolled her eyes and gently pushed you away from her. The blonde grunted and started laughing uproariously at the comparsion while the redhead gave you a look that could kill you. You had provoked her and now you had to suffer for it. She jumped on top of you and tickled you through, you squealing happily as she did so. "Alex, leave her alone. She can not breathe anymore"

"I want revenge"

[violetlunette]

so something to know is that i am the biggest simp in the universe when it comes to my lover, very similar to YUU, as in i think of the future of us and stuff, just a big simp.

BUT WHEN I'M SICK

i become so different as in i can barely be as outgoing and open with my love and just have to keep doing stuff because there is so many things to be done like work, chores, making food. so i don't stop until i drop to the ground.

so imagine YUU one day being really sick like me and at some point silver was asked to bring me some food and/or medicine and he finds YUU collapsed on the ground, with a very high temp, and just takes YUU inside to look after, into a bedroom and tries to wake YUU up. and when YUU wakes up instead of being all love-sick crazy he see's silver taking care of them and when silver comes over, YUU, in a hazed mind says "your so kind, thoughtful and selfless, no wonder i fell in-love you."with this loving smile. then passes out. and all silver can think is that this is not true because why would YUU love him, why would YUU make him feel so warm, just for him to come into the sudden realisation that he is in love and has been for a long time.

thank you for reading this

and you're doing such a great job mate, have the love you deserve for all you life, and goodbye.

Aww, this would be so sweet! And thank you for the sweeter message! This such a sweet scenario, I just--

Fun fact; Yuu can’t actually get sick due to in-universe reasons, however--

~*~

“Silver? Why are you here?” Silver had appeared in the doorway of the old Ramshackle Dorm, wearing his PE uniform, his skin coated in sweat.

He inhaled a deep breath so he could speak.

“I heard from Kalim that Yuu was sick.” When Silver heard this, he was surprised. For some reason, it never occurred to Silver that Yuu could get sick.

“Hah. I thought fools couldn’t catch colds,” Sebek said after hearing the news. He and Silver had been training together at the time. After scolding him, Silver cut their training short and ran all the way to Ramshackle.

Though now that he was here, he wondered if he really should be here.

“You came to check on Yuu?” The chubbier of the three Ramshackle ghosts confirmed. A slightly skinnier one beamed.

“Yuu will be so happy about that!” Silver shifted.

“Is he in any condition to have guests?” He inquired, wondering if he had jumped the gun by coming when he did. Yuu might have been so sick that he wouldn’t want to see him.

The ghosts each gave Silver a flat look when he voiced this.

“Silver, he could be deader than us, and Yuu would be in perfect condition to see you,” the skeletal ghost told him.

Silver was quickly ushered through the house and to the room Yuu and Grim used to sleep in. Instantly, his eyes locked on Yuu.

“Yuu…” At first glance, no one would be able to tell that Yuu was ill.

The teen had naturally gray skin, pale as mist. His hair was wild, frizzed, and—as Vil put it—had never been introduced to a comb.

However, upon closer look, Silver could see that the other’s flesh had turned paper white with a touch of yellow around the mouth and eyes. Meanwhile, the hair was damp with sweat, which made it stick to his face.

Half-lidded eyes shot wide open upon seeing Silver, a shimmer of glee within them.

“Moonshine! What--” Yuu moved too fast for his ailing body and nearly toppled out of bed. Silver hurried forward to catch him just in time.

“Ah!” he gasped as the other fell against his chest. “Careful! Your body’s weak right now.” Yuu mumbled something with a red face, but Silver couldn’t make it out.

With the help of the ghost, he set Yuu back in bed.

“We need to leave for a while; do you mind watching over Yuu for us?” one ghost asked.

“Ah, I don’t mind, but..." The ghosts clapped before Silver could finish.

“Great! In that case, we’ll leave him in your care! Tootles!

With that, they vanished, leaving the teens alone.

As Silver turned back, Yuu began vomiting into the trashcan.

“I heard you were sick, but I don’t know it was this bad,” Silver said, looking at Yuu sympathetically. Yuu took a ragged breath, shaking his head.

“Ugh… Not sick,” he muttered. “Poison.” Silver jumped, his expression unchanged except for the growth of his eyes.

“What?!” After setting the trash beside his bed, Yuu flopped back, putting a hand on his sweat-soaked forehead.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Grim picked some mushrooms that ‘looked tasty, and well...’” He grumbled an insult towards the beast under his heavy breath. “He’s fine, being whatever the hell he is. But me…” Silver felt his pulse race against his chilled skin. Yuu was poisoned. Poisoned! That meant he--

“We—We need to get you to the infirmary right away!” He gathered Yuu in his arms, causing the other to squeak like a mouse.

“Whoa! Whoa! Hold on there, Moonshine!” he said, his colorless skin turning bright pink. “No need to panic like this!”

“Yuu, you just said you were poisoned!”

“That’s why I took a—a—Gosh, what was it?! A throw-up potion from Kalim,” Yuu insisted. “Ace also brought a potion from Sammy-boy and took Grim for the day. I’ll be fine! I’m fine, really!”

“Even so--”

“Look, I can’t go to the nurse every time I get hurt,” Yuu said, weakly struggling. He liked being in Silver’s arms, but it was more important to make the other understand. “If I do, Crowley might believe the school is too dangerous for me and send me away. Then I won’t get to see you as often—legally.” Silver pursed his lips. He didn’t want that, but...

“I’m fine, really. I promise. Cross my heart and hope others die,” he insisted. After gnawing over it, Silver gave in.

“That’s not how the saying goes.” With a heavy heart, Silver replaced Yuu back in bed. He was worried, but at the same time, he didn’t want the other to get sent away. After all, having Yuu at Night Raven...

‘But is this a risk we should be taking?’ Depending on the mushroom, this could be dangerous. Forget sick; Yuu could...

“You don’t have to stay,” Yuu murmured, interrupting his thoughts. He used his sleeve to wipe away some sweat. “I know Batman’s gonna be looking for ya soon. And don’t ya have guard duties, or whatever?”

“I’ll text Lilia,” Silver said, pulling out his phone. “This is more important.”

Despite himself, Yuu laughed. His eyes were hazy as they watched Silver, a gleam of something inside them.

“That’s so you...” He said it softly, with a tender smile on his lips. “Kind, thoughtful, selfless... is it any wonder I fell for you?”

Silver felt his heartbeat at the words. He swallowed as his tongue became thick. He opened his mouth to respond; however, Yuu had fallen asleep.

Silver watched him sleep as his face heated from his cheeks to his ears. As Silver rubbed them, Yuu’s words echoed in his mind.

“...I wonder every day,” he whispered, throat tight.

Yuu was eccentric, fun, intelligent, and had the amazing ability to sidestep the laws of physics to make the fantastic reality (both good and bad).

And Silver—was just Silver. There was nothing special about him. 

Yet Yuu always looked at him as if he were the most extraordinary thing in the world.

‘Why? I wonder what he could possibly see in me?’ And why did he care so much? 

Silver placed a hand on his chest, which felt too tight around his heart.

This feeling inside of him... What was it?

He momentarily closed his eyes, then re-opened them, a soft gaze falling onto Yuu’s slumbering form.

“I wonder…”

--

Sorry, this took so long, anon! Thanks for the ask!

[friendlylifecherry]

Kiyotaka Week Day 3: AU. Mastermind Ishimaru AU. Unedited, mostly

@mini-mecha-cowboy

It's rather late in the night and Taka is doing the old, familiar dance of speaking to Izuru inside of his dorm room. It's just that this time, it's through one of the Monokumas instead of with the communicator.

"I really have to say, Kamukura-kun, this was an excellent first day as Monokuma. I'm quite proud of your performance! I was actually pretty worried when you didn't want me to know what you were going to do for Monokuma, but your performance was actually very well-actuated! I’m very proud of you, Kamukura-kun!” Taka says as he changes into his sleep clothes.

Izuru rolls his eyes behind the monitors, mostly focused on putting together the assets for the first Monokuma theater. He knows that Taka is proud of him, it’s nothing at all new for anything that Izuru does. It’s not like Izuru has to bother putting on the act here.

“It’s nothing. So, what do you expect will happen next?” Izuru says as Taka brushes his hair and teeth.

Taka spits out the toothpaste after he’s done thoroughly scrubbing his mouth. “Considering that I know the others quite well, I doubt they will start any sort of murder anytime soon. But this first murder does have to happen within the week.” After all, the news cycle already has a million other things to focus on outside of updates about these children trapped inside of a school with a murderous robot bear, even with a 24-hour live feed. If he wants to keep the attention of the media, he better have it clear that this is not some sick joke by a cultist but the real deal.

Izuru nods as he integrates the background music in the Monokuma Theater. “Motive or do we force the issue?”

Taka weighs his options. Just forcing the issue through some form of blackmail would be easy, but it wouldn’t send the message that he wants to send. No need to make a point about inherent human desperation when the first deaths happened because it was literally forced onto them. On the other hand, someone does have to be dead by the end of the week, and if they wait around, they may genuinely be waiting forever. And Izuru sure is not going to wait forever for his promised entertainment.

“How about this? If a murder doesn’t happen within the next 3 days, you can use one of the motives. If someone doesn’t get murdered after that, then we can start forcing the issue! Would that be acceptable?” Taka asks as he makes his nightly final rounds before he heads to bed.

“Can do!” Monokuma cheerily salutes Taka. Izuru’s working with the audio equipment. You have to make sure that the voice sounds the same in the Theater as it does in the live feed, or at least similar enough. “So, who do you want to bring in for plan B? Maybe your favorite thug?”

Taka turns bright red and chastizes Monokuma. “Mondo is not a thug!”

“So you’re *not* denying that he’s your favorite? I thought that you were supposed to be “impartial and fair”, Ishimaru-kun?” Ugh, Taka can already feel his face get redder and the headache start growing. Why does he even bother with these arguments? He never wins them anyway. Monokuma continues as if Taka didn’t interrupt him. “How about Oogami? She’s big and strong, and pretty much would have to listen to whatever we say if it has something to with our hostages.”

“Oogami-kun is a good choice, but I doubt that the dojo would be good enough collateral.” A centuries-old family dojo is all well and good, incredibly important, and almost a holy ground for Sakura. But the fact that it was burned down in an arsonist’s blaze (unrelated to the Ultimate Despair) about 6 months ago and all the members have been scattered to the winds in the refugee crisis is a bit of a snag on the effectiveness.

“Not that run-down old dojo, dummy! I meant her little boyfriend. Well, little compared to her right now, anyhow.” That actually draws Taka’s attention from organizing his papers.

“I thought that Kenshiro-kun was terminally ill with a severe cancer diagnosis?” Frankly, with the collapse of medical services, he should’ve died a while ago.

“Nope! He’s still kicking somehow! Ain’t the world’s strongest man for nothing, the weirdo! Gwahahahahaha!” Monokuma laughs at his hilarious “joke”. “He’s actually the one we got in custody right now!”

Well, that certainly makes things much easier for everyone. Provable collateral and if there’s anything about Sakura that he knows, she would do literally anything to protect her loved ones. Even kill or die for them.

“Well, that’s perfect! You can contact her as soon as possible, correct? Maybe make some implications that we can keep him alive as well, to really sell it.” Taka wants this to be locked down by the time that he wakes up, after all. "And after that, please get some sleep! A healthy mind and body start with proper rest!"

"Fine, fine. I gotta go now, since she's just done meditating. Buh-bye!" And with that, Monokuma disappears again.

The light on the camera in his dorm room comes back on, Izuru must be focused somewhere else and done with the conversation for the night. Well now, it’s off to dreamland for Taka! He would be a hypocrite if he didn't get his rest now! And with that, he shuts off the lights and drifts off to sleep.

[lansplaining]

[one snippet of a chengqing hallmark rom com for as many days of december as i feel like!] 

Lotus Pier was done for-- or at least it was meant to be. After 100 years (ancient and venerable, in west coast time) the whole enterprise had gone up in flames-- literally and therefore, one would assume, metaphorically as well. Especially a school, which is not exactly the kind of place that can withstand extended periods of unexpected closure, or any hint that the premises might be unsafe. But those who predicted Lotus Pier’s demise four years ago had failed to account for Jiang Cheng. 

Now, Jiang Cheng sometimes felt like Lotus Pier was actively in flames all around him, metaphorically this time. But in point of fact, the school was standing and operating and-- surviving. It was surviving.

Jiang Cheng was also-- standing. Operating. Surviving. Which was fine, more than enough, especially given his only real confidante usually had other things on his mind. For example--

“Jiujiu!” Jin Ling bellowed the second his feet hit the floor of Jiang Cheng’s office. Jiang Cheng stood to intercept him as he came tearing across the little room, as past experience had revealed that Jin Ling would attempt to just climb over the desk, and would not succeed. Jiang Cheng scooped him up, then turned to see Jin Guangyao looking politely amused in the doorway. 

“Jiujiu,” Jin Ling demanded before Jiang Cheng could get out an actual, adult greeting. “I want a Christmas tree.”

“We put up the decorations in Koi Tower today,” Jin Guangyao said, smiling still, but sounding apologetic. “A-Ling was very taken with them-- weren’t you?”

“Yes,” Jin Ling said decisively. “I want one. I want it-- this big.” He flung his arm upwards, indicating a height somewhere past Jiang Cheng’s head. 

“Right,” said Jiang Cheng. “Well, we’ll... see what we can do. Hi, Guangyao. Would you like to take a seat?” 

Jin Guangyao nodded his thanks and pulled out the chair on the opposite side of Jiang Cheng’s desk. Something about that chair often put people ill at ease-- instinctive memories, Jiang Cheng assumed, of being trouble in school and called into the principle’s office. But if Jin Guangyao felt that, he didn’t show it. 

“So, what did you want to discuss?” Jiang Cheng asked, as Jin Ling busied himself with settling into Jiang Cheng’s lap and playing with the pens on his desk. 

Jin Guangyao wasn’t the type to make annoying jokes about oh, right down to business, he just reached for the briefcase he’d just set down. “I actually wanted to speak to you on behalf of my father. As you’ve probably heard, he’s looking to expand his property portfolio, and there have been such promising redevelopments in the waterfront area in recent years. As you know-- all this construction!” 

“The construction,” Jiang Cheng agreed automatically. He already didn’t like where this was going. Even setting aside the fact that there were still parts of the site they hadn’t had the time or money to fully repair yet, Lotus Pier stood out like a sore thumb these days amongst all the new waterfront hotels and high rises. 

“He’s aware, of course, of how hard you’ve worked over the past few years to get Lotus Pier back on its feet,” Jin Guangyao went on. “And it occurred to him that there might be an arrangement here that would be beneficial to everyone. You would have cash in hand, and could seek out a premises with less complicated upkeep, and my father would be able to pursue a waterfront development.” 

Jiang Cheng just stared at him, silent for a moment or two. “You...”

“Want to buy Lotus Pier,” Jin Guangyao agreed. “Naturally no one is asking you to make a decision right here! But...” Now he opened the briefcase and pulled out a stack of papers. “I wanted to bring you our proposal. The price, of course, but also our plans for the property, as I suspected you’d be interested to know what the land would become before agreeing to anything. It has been in your family for a long time, and we want to respect that.” 

He slid a thick, plastic-bound packet across the table. Jiang Cheng just sort of looked at it, but Jin Ling eagerly slapped his hand down on it and pulled it closer, so Jiang Cheng hand it carefully extricate it from his hands. 

“Thanks,” he said, more out of instinct than out of any conscious thought. He was too dazed to do anything else, too focused on not letting his confusion morph-- as it so often did-- into anger. There was no question Jin Guangyao had done all the work to prepare this proposal, but he was equally sure the idea itself came straight from Jin Guangshan. It would do him no good to get angry at Jin Guangyao, even though he’d seen him withstand being screamed at by his own family without the slightest waver to his habitual smile. 

It was this same state of dazed autopilot that made him, when the phone suddenly started ringing, reach out and answer it. 

“--sorry, let me take this,” he blurted out a second too late. Jin Guangyao agreed with a polite nod. “--hi. Lotus Pier Academy, this is Jiang Cheng speaking.”

“Oh,” said a woman’s voice on the other end of the line, a bit startled. “I didn’t think I’d get straight through to you.” 

“What can I do for you?” he asked, assuming that this random person didn’t actually want to hear about how they still couldn’t afford to hire a full-time secretary. 

“My name is Wen Qing, and I’m calling on behalf of the Nevernight Group. I apologize for cold-calling this way, but I’m going to be in the area for business in a few days and wondered if I could-- sorry, I really thought I’d be speaking to your assistant-- I wondered if I could get a meeting in your calendar while I’m here. My employer is interested in discussing your future plans for your property, and whether you might be open to some form of partnership in relation to the future of the site.”

“--oh.” Maybe, Jiang Cheng thought, there was such a thing as fate. “Yeah, sure. Tuesday lunchtime?” 

“Sounds perfect,” she said. “That was-- very efficient, thank you. I look forward to meeting you.”

“Same to you,” Jiang Cheng said. He hung up the phone, pulled his staff lanyard out of Jin Ling’s mouth, and said, “Well, Jin Guangyao. You’ve got a competing offer.”

[badbatchenthusiast]

how to do well at school

(work smarter not harder)

i’m trying to compile a list of what’s been working for me academically especially with all the fun side effects of being autistic in the education system (and the variable motivation/executive functioning that comes with it). queuing this forever so i remember to apply these, but if they help you feel free to let me know how it goes!!

1.) Print out notes.

To be fair, this only really works if you have access to a reliable printer, but I imagine a sizeable percentage of people do. For me it was definitely worth investing in one. This is enormously helpful for several reasons:

no need to make notes in class - it’s all there, in front of you, like subtitles to the lesson. makes it so much easier to follow the class and if you miss a day because you’re ill/not coping/have zoned out for 30 mins, you’re not missing valuable content you’re going to need to read up on later

annotating pre-printed notes with little details the teacher is saying adds valuable context and information, and allows you to write in analogies/mnemonics/key evidence/links to other parts of the course in a really different style to the main notes so it doesn’t get confusing to read (annotating hand-written notes can get messy)

having a physically printed copy makes it feel more real, and therefore less likely to disappear in your mind, than just electronic notes. handling actual paper is also less tiring than sitting with a laptop/tablet in a lesson and typing (especially for me)

having that day/week’s notes pre-printed over the weekend makes you feel much more organised and is hours less work than doing pre-learning by handwriting notes

if you type up the notes yourself into a table on word with key word/subtitle/question on one side and definition/answer/explanation on the other, you’re transforming the textbook information into new information, which is very valuable revision and will help with keeping it in your mind; it’s like flashcards, but in note form, and helps chunk content into more manageable pieces

i struggle with processing speed. listening to information *and* comprehending it *and* taking notes at the same time is too much, especially when people talk much faster than i can write. having it all pre-written means i can focus on just understanding and consolidating, and by the time we’re set homework i don’t have note-completion and content-learning to do on top of it

it helps with understanding of the course, in terms of what you need to cover in which topics and what’s coming up next

the best thing about this is it allows for a lot of flexibility in terms of how much time/effort you put into it. on days where i have the energy to sit and learn, i’ll make detailed notes on an upcoming topic with bulletpoints from the textbook and added links to our wider reading, or google context to anything i don’t get. on days where it’s not happening, i’ll copy paste from a reliable revision source/scan a page of the book and be done.

2.) Copy out answers before attempting questions yourself.

definitely one of the least motivating things when doing questions is not knowing how to start, or how to get the answer. a quick way to fix that and get more confidence is to copy out/annotate pre-written example answers or solutions from the textbook or mark scheme. this gives you a sort of blueprint to follow, and makes your time less wasteful if you’re often going straight into questions only to get half of them wrong.

youtube videos with example problems are also really great for this. pause the video before the solution starts and try to work through as far as you can, and when you get stuck unpause and finish copying out the working. doing this before starting homework gets you a higher grade on them and means you’re not wasting time getting things wrong, learning it incorrectly, and only finding out when you get it back.

for essay-based subjects, asking for exemplary answers to annotate is also very helpful. note down use of structure, sentence starts used, anything that you find is good about it and helps it meet the criteria. then, try and write a response to a different question in the same or similar style. get that marked, get feedback, try again.

3.) Practice questions are worth more than anything.

don’t waste time making hundreds of versions of your notes or exclusively rereading flashcards/the textbook. this might be helpful for content learning early on, but long-term retention and exam technique only come with practice. it’s annoying, sure, but works like a charm. so:

test yourself regularly - identify gaps in your knowledge and work to patch them, then test yourself again

get a feel for what kind of questions are usually asked in exams and write your own, then answer them - this, with time, will make exams predictable, or at the very least make you better at understanding what questions want from you

if your teacher lets you have extra practice questions marked, use them as an incredibly helpful source of feedback for improvement so there’s not such a steep learning curve with the first few assignments. if they don’t, use assignments intelligently to see what gets you marks and what doesn’t, then use the feedback on that to revise your technique and improve. if you do badly and don’t learn from it, this is a waste.

for the most part, teachers are on your side and want you to learn. if you’re stuck and don’t know how to answer questions/get correct answers, chances are there’s someone you can go to.

4.) Interesting information is your friend.

draw diagrams. make mindmaps. add pictures to your notes. colour code by topic. highlight things. annotate little fun facts. anything to prevent notes from becoming walls of off-grey text that you can’t be bothered to read. this also has the added benefit of being more interesting to do. so if you have a process to learn, make a flow chart with funky shapes. if it’s context you’re adding, make a timeline or spider diagram. type in memorable little comments or jokes that will help you understand things. copy out graphs and models and doodle important people’s faces. this sticks.

and if you’re feeling really outlandish, make some memes! even if they’re really bad. but for information you absolutely need to know and simply have to memorise, a bad rhyme or punchline will make it much easier to keep in your head, especially when it’s associated with something you enjoy and already think about a lot. finding creative ways to transform information helps the learning process tremendously, even if you just end up writing fanfiction of your favourite characters learning it too.

5.) Have a routine.

set out clear and consistent times to do work, where it’s hard to get distracted. any time spend working (if you’re working smart) stacks up, so that 20 minute train ride where you’d otherwise be scrolling? do some reading. organise your notes. do a problem or two.

consistency is key with learning. our brains aren’t made for storing irrelevant information, so keep everything relevant. to be fair, sometimes this does require an interest in learning not everyone has, but if you can engage with your subject critically and start thinking about it in your day-to-day life, getting into the habit of noticing things and going “oh, this key thinker would’ve hated this magazine” or “woah, i know the equation for the motion of this pen i just chucked” i think makes a real difference between doing well and excelling.

using spaces where you won’t be tempted to other things is also useful. if you have responsibilities when you get home, spend an hour at the library. meet your friends after 5, until then you’ve got homework. keep mealtimes, sleep and work schedules consistent and it’ll be harder for you to forget or have other things come in your way. this doesn’t need to be hours and hours, either; an hour a day that you can sit and reread your notes when you have a spare moment, bullet point an answer to an exam question to test yourself, annotate information you missed, do some wider reading, watch a youtube video on a topic you didn’t get — this all stacks up, and quickly. working smart is using the time you have as usefully as possible, and that starts with finding time you’re currently not doing much with.

[axolozzy]

senior prank went crazy tonight (aka me using tumblr as my diary again)

we went on the roof of the school earlier and nearly had the cops called on us it was so fun guys. we were not allowed to be up there!!! like almost the whole senior class was on the roof toilet papering everything and there were no actual teachers or adults (besides us ig because like were 18) besides the janitors who unlocked the classrooms and let us wreak havoc. our school is actual chaos inside and out like there’s piles of chairs and piles of tables in every hallway and it’s INSANE. genuinely actually insane like there’s toilet paper and seran wrap everywhere guys. our class trip is supposed to be on friday to valley fair but im not sure that’s gonna happen LOLLLL like we’ll definitely be spending our entire last day of school tomorrow cleaning everything up but it was worth it guys it was so fun. wooow. wow. none of my friends were there so i was kinda just silently following everyone around and helping out and it was fun it was silly. i dont think anyone expected me to be there either cuz im literally the most quiet anti social person at our school like im involved in nothing and i dont have much friends and people always say like they never hear me talk because im literally the quiet kid. nobody has ever even talked shit about me because there’s nothing TO SAY, like, i’m a complete nobody in the best or neutral way possible? like everyone has always accepted the fact im so weird and don’t like talking to people and they let me be but they also include me in things and are so nice and like. it’s just cool i guess. i’ve never been bullied but ive also never really been paid attention to either, everyone just lets me exist in their space because that’s what ive always done. anyway tonight was awesome like woooow wow. half my grade are conservative rednecks but i was surprised that literally everyone was calling me jay tonight despite me literally not talking to these people or being in the same classes or whatever. like that’s cool as shit. man tomorrows my last day of school ever. we all grew up together literally like. like we all know eachother despite literally being completely different from one another. like there’s 30-40 of us seniors, which is apparently not a lot compared to other schools and ours is pretty small i guess? like yeah. yeah i know all of these people but they don’t know me, none of them ever really knew me because i just never talked. i never did anything really. and now it’ll all be over and i’ll be on my own. like i don’t really LIKE any of these people, a lot of them are huge assholes and shit, but ive known them my whole life and its just strange. like were all growing up, were all ALREADY grown up i guess. i’ve always been terrified of growing up and i still am but fuck that lets get back to business!!!! the teacher’s lounge was literally unlocked and we went in their and stacked all the chairs into a pile and then took a taxidermied animal from the librarby and put it on top of the fridge

i have more pictures but like they’re filled with people and i don’t wanna spend time editing them because it is late and i wanna actually wake up early tomorrow to see everyone’s reactions to this shit. also it’s my last day. wow… i was supposed to present a spanish project in class tomorrow but i don’t know if ill be able to hahhahaha because they’ll probably make us clean everything up which is good actually i half assed that entire project and didn’t wanna present it. i hope ill get to finish painting my louie clay sculpture tomorrow though. anyway i don’t really know why im posting this but i hope its entertaining i guess. im gonna be graduating high school… wowwww that’s insane that actually insane im not ready. time is going way too fast guys. i can’t even like explain it but wooow. wow. just realized i have like 300 followers here who might read this which is pretty awkward cuz uhhh i always forget that the stuff i post can be seen by people who aren’t just my closest mutuals soooo whatever that cool. uhh i should probably go to bed. can’t believe tomorrows my last day that doesn’t feel real at all aaaaahhhhhhhh goodnight tumblr!!!!!! im gonna wear my spongebob pajama pants to school tomorrow and im very excited about that

wait also i wanted to say we got permission to pull a senior prank from the principal himself, who i call the Skoogily Boogily, who we are all terrified of when we hear his keys jiggling in the hallways anyway we got permission so it’s fine

[rathayibacter]

In terms of the funko pop wargame, what did the process of creating the statblocks look like? Because unless I seriously buggered up my math even if you are doing 2500 words a day every day it would take you over a year to do every single one. So how did you do it? Please explain if you can. As a writer, this is the type of writing efficiently I desperately crave.

sorry to burst your bubble but this is 100% a case of "work smarter not harder". i will give some genuine writing advice at the end though!

so both Mortal Popbat and IP!b2:fK.O.(DE) were made using really sloppy python code. i compiled the funko pop lists by hand (with some help this time around, thank you Nona), wrote some big lists of "ifs" and "thens" to get combined together to form abilities, played around with the various probabilities until it was outputting something i was happy with, and then wrote up the mechanics, slapped in the statblocks, and called it a day. it took me four days to put it all together, which means id've had to beat 2.4 statblocks a minute to write them all out, or 2500 words every 16 minutes.

this wasn't just for efficiency, mind. part of the fun of this project for me is having a general shape in my head of the possibility space, but being continually surprised by the actual outcomes. if id handwritten them all, i couldnt have been surprised and delighted by things like this! it also means that ive hidden some easter eggs in the game even from myself, so i can be surprised when some of the stranger possibilities crop up.

okay but writing advice time. ive never found it helpful to set big, strict daily goals for myself. what always winds up happening is i fall out of the rhythm once or twice and then its like pulling teeth trying to get back into it. i also try to avoid the usual adhd deadline-chasing that does result in stuff getting done, but also burns me out incredibly fast. what that means in practice is i sometimes have periods of really intense creative energy (like this week) that ill ride but not set heavy expectations upon, and then when it's calmed down i try to keep a pace of doing a little bit whenever ive got time, even if that's just writing some notes in my phone or correcting some mistakes ive noticed. sometimes doing a little thing like that'll lead to me doing more, maybe spending a few hours putting stuff down on paper, but i also don't admonish myself if it doesnt. as a result im not the fastest in the world at getting stuff done, but but i am continually working on big, ambitious projects that ten years ago id've started, gotten super burnt out on, and abandoned. plus, it means sometimes i get a Funny Writing Impulse and knock out a game like IMMORTAL POP!bat, Maybe One Day, It'll Be Enough, or Stationkeeping in a day or three.

i understand that's almost certainly not what you're looking for lmao, but i hope it helps regardless! follow your own rhythm, trust the process, and make stuff you love!

[woodchipp]

Okay, quick preface, I'm an Omori fan if you couldn't tell.

Why does Omori's bad writing matter to you so much? I'm not trying to be patronizing, I ask this as a genuine question. like, is there a specific reason you have for continuing to talk about it? I know this probably comes across as hostile, but it isn't meant to be. I'm just the kind of person who genuinely asks these sorts of questions.

Also, just because he's my favorite: do you like Omori as a character? Do you think he's a cool dude?

Hope you're having a nice day. I mean that.

I like talking about its bad writing because

1) In general, It's just a fun exercise in writing analysis. OMORI really wants to be taken seriously, but when I do try to take it seriously, it falls apart. Spectacularly. And figuring out all the ways it falls apart in is what's so fun! It's like studying a car crash and what could've been done to prevent it. Dissecting bad writing can also make you appreciate works that feature the same ideas but execute them better all the more!

2) As I said in this post, a big reason why I'm as obsessed with this game as I am is because of how much the wasted potential hurts. I liked some of the ideas the game presented (e.g. the very premise of a young boy trying to cope with the suicide of a loved one by creating a big dream world to distract himself)! The characters' concepts are pretty nice on paper! The game could've been decent!

Unfortunately, the execution is dogshit. The story doesn't read like it has actual thought put into it - it reads like a string of bullet points trying to present the illusion of a story. Not only that, but it doesn't treat mental illness with tact it is purported to have either - it only uses it as a convenient way to exonerate two of its characters of their really shitty actions.

And, well. I don't exactly find this acceptable for a game that had six years of development, more than $200,000 poured into it and is hailed as peak representation of mental illness across what seems to be the entire internet.

As for Omori himself... I don't really have anything to say about him as a character because, like Sunny, he isn't one. I do feel kind of bad that the game's Protagonist-Centered Morality and his status as Sunny's Evil Depression™ mean that his solid arguments get dismissed by the audience as Sunny's irrational self-loathing, though, so here's that

[forgottenluck]

So....I'm sorry for sort of just...kinda dropping off the face of the earth for the past month, only interacting off and on and such.

Under a read more is the long version.

tldr: Life handed me a very bad hand and i'm not dealing well.....but trying to get myself to a better position.

Now for the long version.

At the end of April, one of my favorite months, my landlord decided that they would not be renewing our lease. For reference, we lived in Government Assisted Housing, which subsidized our rent and made it easier to afford just basic living. As most of my followers know, I live with my mom. But for those of you who are just now joining me on this hell-journey, i'll give you a rundown.

My mom is in very poor health. She's had massive complications with surguries, strokes, heart attacks, transplant....you name it, it's likely happened to her at least once. This left her pretty much unable to care for herself. She can barely stand on her own, uses a wheelchair and walker....etc etc. I've been careing for her for about 15 years now.

Back on track, we'd been living in Government Assisted (HUD) housing for a few years now, it's a vicious cycle of "you can't make more than ___ and if you do your rent goes up." and "Can't work more hours or rent goes up." and "can't get a raise because then rent goes up.".....and we haven't exactly been happy living here. The place has changed hands multiple times too. In the years I've lived here, they've changed hands at least once a year. The current one is the one that's held on the longest....And they're not very good landlords.

During March and April of this year, they did their yearly inspections. Which, due to my mother being sick at the time, we missed. Because of mom's health, she's Immunocompromised, which means she cannot be in contact with a lot of people....especially when she's already ill to begin with. All of the other landlords have understood this, and respected this. When she's sick, i put up a note on the door, that explains she's sick and that if they need to come in, they're to contact me and reschedule any visits until after she is better. As the note instructed, the landlord skipped over our unit in inspection....but never called me to verify a new date. They'd done this before, and so i thought nothing of it....

But when I went in to do our recertification (which we have to do every year through HUD) I was given a massive slap on the wrist because "they couldn't get in our apartment for inspection"....and that the landlord would call me to reschedule the inspection. By that point, the apartment was a mess because i was trying to take care of her and an elderly dog she refused to rehome....So, thinking that it would be in a few days, I worked to get it back into shape.

I never get a call.

Okay. That's fine. I'll just move on with life. I have more important things to deal with, after all.

It was, unfortunately, not fine. I go in to give them my paperwork for the recertification (because I missed some papers the first time) and I get told that our unit is being chosen for the yearly HUD inspection, and that it'd better be spotless in one week. And of course...i panic.

I have ADHD, and being the only member in the family that can actually move around, it means i'm also the only one who can clean the apartment up, take trash out, dust, etc. Which is hard with ADHD. So the apartment was an absolute wreck...and i had to clean the entire thing in one week. I ended up having to call in help. But i got it done.....somehow. The apartment had looked the best it had in YEARS. Sure it was a little dusty, and the carpet was filthy because of an elderly dog and another dog that sheds like crazy.....(and the fact that my vacuum had literally exploded the night before.)

But somehow.....somehow, we failed the inspection. And the landlord wouldn't give me a clear answer on how. Regardless of how or why, we were given a 90 day notice, we had to be out by July 31st. It wasn't an eviction, they were.....nice enough to do it as a "non-renewed lease" but it was still....not a great situation.

Cue a.....mad, frantic battle of trying to find a place to live. With mom's health, we had to have specific accomedations.....and luckily a friend of mine was willing to go in with me on an appartment, even willing to accomedate my mother if we could find a place. But every place we looked into, applied too....denied us. (It didn't help that because i was once income based housing, my income was very low and most apartments wanted 2 or 3 times the rent in monthly income.....which was impossible for me.)

About mid June, my mother decided enough was enough, and she agreed to be put into a nursing facility. I could no longer adequately take care of her, tension and emotion were strained.....it had not been a good situation for a while, and she finally broke down and agreed to the suggestion. We put that in motion and then me and my friend set out once again to try and find a place to live. Without her limitations, the first place that we applied too accepted us. A small breath of fresh air....that didn't last long.

I now had to pack a whole 2 bedroom apartment into either a donate bin, a storage bin, or the new place. And to make matters worse, my mother was obstinate and inconsiderate, and pretty much refused to let me work on packing unles it was the middle of the night and she wasn't awake. I would constantly get passive aggressive quips and sometimes full blown arguments with her about the move.

All the while, there's hiccup after hiccup with her going into a facility. First the hospital didn't release her information to the coordinator because they thought it was an audit (which if it was an audit wouldn't you get it super fast in that case to get it over with? but what do I know....), then the coordinator went on a mandatory vacation. Then they had to wait for the hospital to release more information. Then mom had to have a test done. All of this stuff should have been handled in two weeks. We were told by the coordinator it would only take two weeks......A whole month went by and we were still waiting.

And because we were still waiting, and i was recieving harassment and push back, i was behind in packing and sorting. Those weeks were....really blurry if i'm going to be honest with you all. It didn't help that about towards the beginning of July my apartment was broken into and I was assaulted. (SA, this will be the only mention.) OF course the Landlord did nothing, and I really don't want to go into details because it just makes them look even hinkier.

The stress, the assault, the move....it all blurs together the past month. I spent from July 30th to August 3rd trying to get as much stuff out of that apartment and into the new one as i could. My roommate had already moved in, so i just had to move my stuff in.

My aunt, graciously allowed me and my mom to stay with her while we stayed in the facility limbo (i had to stay with mom because my aunt had no idea how to care for her, and really couldn't do everything necessary.) But...mom's health rapidly deteriorated over the past few weeks, and she was just admitted into the hospital.

Life has not been kind to me the past few months. I've been stressed, attacked mentally, verbally, and physically. It's honestly a wonder i'm still kicking. I know i've developed some sort of heart murmer or palpitations that flare up from time to time recently. My room is bare minimum....i just had to buy a comforter set and some other things that i need to be able to sleep. It's not been good.

But.....hopefully, from now on, things will look up. I know this has been mostly a rant, but I wanted people to understand where I've been and why i've either dropped things completely, snipped and snaped at people, or hyperfocused on one or two things. It's all i've been able to do. And I want to thank all of you for getting to the end of this, and for supporting me as much as you all do. I'll get back into the swing of things here, it just may take me a bit.

Thank you again, and please, i do hope you have a good night. I'll queue this a few times over the next few days.

[gillianthecat]

GAP — episode 2

It seems like my GAP reactions have become the space in which I wax philosophical about various matters political and personal. But it's an excellent show nonetheless, I'm starting to really like it!

below the cut are my thoughts while watching:

- So does Sam know that she has a crush and is flirting like mad? I honestly can't tell how self-aware she is.

- Sam's friends! I love them all already. I appreciate that this show is populating Sam's world with interesting queer women. It feels like they've studied the boys' shows and are applying all the lessons carefully and skipping over a lot of the growing pains. So if Sam already knows she's queer, maybe she does realize she has a crush, she's certainly waiting by the phone anxiously. Then again, she seems not very in touch with her feelings in general.

- Ok. I hate grandmother. I love both the sisters. And Freen is great at portraying the two versions of Sam—young, open and vulnerable, and grown up, hard and walled off.

- On the one hand, I’m guessing that Sam just wants an excuse to keep bringing Mon into her office. Which is adorable. On the other hand, I’m having to actively work to not get annoyed at how bad a boss Sam is being. Not so much the meanness, that I can handle, but at how unskillful she is at it. Just telling your employee (who is brand new to the office and to the working world in general!) "change it" and "it doesn’t wow me" without giving any specifics? That is not the way to get the results you want with any efficiency. On the third hand, I am relieved not to hear them rambling on about "influencers" and marketing." So possibly a win overall. And their dynamic is great.

- And Mon called her out for it it! Bless you, darling. Sam tried to pull that boss bullshit are you just lazy? thing, but at least I know the show isn't ignoring it. And that is enough for me to be content, I think.

- I think I may actually really like this show? I was going to watch it regardless as long as it wasn't completely terrible (and I made it all the way through fahlanruk, so clearly my tolerance for terrible is high) just to a) support Thai GL, and b) see what they would do, but it's turning out to be very good. A solid story, good characters, lots of really good details, and it feels genuinely queer. I'm so pleased.

- The one sticking point for me is the whole influencer social media thing, but thinking about it, I can see how that was the best choice. If they want to make a billionaire romance with a cruel boss and and an ingenue employee, which I fully support because it's a genre with a lot of delicious potential, especially when made lesbian (I have no interest billionaire romance when done straight á la Fifty Shades of Gray, but love it when it's played with in some way) then they need a company for the billionaire to run. And they need to find something that a) could realistically become profitable in this day and age, b) Lady Sam could plausibly be passionate about, because the tension between her love for running a business and grandmother's pressure on her to live a traditional heterosexual life is crucial to the story they're telling, and c) feels cool and hip to fit the aesthetic of the show. So it can't be a paper company or something boring, and advertisers have always been the sexy creatives of the business world. "Content Creators" aren't as interesting, but they are more modern and more plausible as a start up business. And so while social media marketing still makes me recoil, and I honestly think is responsible for a lot of ills in this world,* I do understand their reasoning and I think that will allow me to tolerate and ignore it. I just hope Sam learns how to be an effective boss at some point along the way too!

*I didn't find Mad Men's ad agency setting off-putting in the same way. Perhaps because the creativity is more obvious in what they were doing, perhaps because it was all set in the past so it had that nostalgic fascination rather than watching people work at something that is actively making the world and my own life worse today. Not that advertising in the 60's didn't do a shit ton of harm to the world that continues to fuck over the planet. But I don't personally feel it as viscerally. Plus I think there is less creativity in the sort of content creation that Lady Sam's company seems to be doing, although to be honest the whole show is keeping it all pretty vague for now.

- Tangent over. I love how full of queer women this show is! It's not just the main couple, it's both of Sam's sisters, probably all of her friends, and even the villain and/or faen fatale! The only heterosexual couple (besides the parents) were kicked off the show in the first half an hour, in a loss for workers' rights but a victory for gay rights. And the only confirmed straight guy is Mon's creepy friendzoned neighbor, who is all but discarded. (Kirk may be straight, but it's not confirmed yet.)

- Speaking of which, I'm kind of excited to see what this villainous woman is going to do.

- I suspect most people associate Heng with Sky and expect him to be good, but my strongest association is with his character from War of Y so I keep waiting for him to be at least mildly evil.

- I actually really appreciate that this migraine is a situation in which taking medicine actually makes sense to me. Characters in Thai shows keep taking medicines for ailments that don't seem fixable with medicine and it always slightly annoys me. I don't know if that's part of the general Thai approach to health, or if it's just a shorthand for caretaking that dramas have developed, but it is so different from my approach.

- Oh how tender. Her head on her lap. I like this rendition of the caretaking trope. It uses the tropes, but puts its own spin on it to make it feel interesting and real.

- (I feel like I had that shirt pattern as wallpaper as a child. I'm not knocking Mon's outfit, I love her workwear style! But it definitely has a late eighties/early nineties vibe, especially combined with the oversized blazer in that shade of pink.)

- I love how even half asleep and knocked out with pain and drugs Sam (pardon me, Hon. Lady Sam) is still bossy and prickly and rude.

- Sleepy taxi head to shoulder slide my beloved! (I don't know what to call this trope, but it's always a good one.)

- I don't think I've ever seen That Fucking House 1.0 from the street before. I always pictured it somewhere more suburban and quiet.

- I love their dynamic so much! And I'm glad that Mon is getting the stars knocked out of her eyes—it makes for a much more interesting story (and a healthier relationship) if she has to fall back in love with the real Sam, rather than coasting on hero worship.

- Omg, I adore prickly bossy Sam. She is so cat coded. Be polite. Why are you so formal. Text me. Why are you texting me, you should call. Why are you calling me. 😸 I thought maybe it was because I'd just watched Choco Milk Shake so I'm imagining cats everywhere. But no. Mon really is another cat. I love her. And just like Milk, she is totally confused by her feelings and has no idea how to act around her crush. She sure sat up quick though 😹

- Oh Mon baby. My darling. How heartbreaking to find out that your idol, your forever crush, is not the person you thought she was. That she's actually mean and rude and confusing and is a terrible boss. And you're just trying to be a good employee but you have no idea what she wants from you. Oh my darling.

- Oh my god, Sam has zero social skills. I mean, it makes sense why, but she is a disaster. Mon is doing a great job of telling her when she's being hurtful or confusing, and every time Sam doubles down on acting like an asshole. Sigh. I still love her though.

- I am glad that Mon has the spine to keep standing up to her. Otherwise their relationship would be doomed and hard to root for. She does it kindly, but clearly and with a strong sense of her own rights and needs as a person. That's hard to do for any brand new intern to their powerful asshole boss, let alone one who's been nursing a hero worship crush for over a decade.

- Oof this scene! Mon kneeling as Sam walks by glammed up with sunglasses on, and completely ignores her.

- I do like this accountant. And I'm inclined toward Kirk. No matter what his role ends up being. I appreciate his rich boy charm here.

- Omg. Of course she hand delivers the snack to Mon. In the rudest, most awkward manner possible. My favorite feral cat. And yes. The battle of wills has begun. ngl, I was nervous about the whole hero worship angle last week, but they're crushing that underfoot quite nicely.

- Does Kirk know about her crush? Maybe even before she does, lol. Also I'm so relieved that Sam has all these friends who tease her when she's got a stick up her ass and treat her like a human being and also genuinely care for her.

- What a spiky kitty cat. Calm your fur, girl.

- This courtship is going to be amazing. I'm so excited to watch Sam flailing around trying and failing to act like a human around Mon. Kirk is all of us in his reactions. 😹

- Date date date! Wingmanned by the fiancé! Which, honestly is necessary at this point. They cannot handle being alone together yet.

- Jesus Christ Sam. You are the embodiment of that Get out of my school meme. I cannot believe the things coming out of your mouth.

- Oh no. Kitty cat, sweetheart, you're going to burn off the roof of your mouth. Stop trying to act cool in front of your crush. Mon's face 😂

- Lol. Well she fooled all of us. I guess she really is cool after all.

- Look at them! Managing to have an almost civil conversation! I'm liking this Kirk-Mon allyship that's developing. I don't know if it will withstand the pressure of the angst to come, but it's something Mon, and their developing relationship, need right now.

- Cat cat cat! She is such a cat. She refuses to look at Mon even though 100% of her attention is focused on her right now 😸 ooh and the boyfriend comment made her gruum-py!

- I can't tell what Kirk knows (I can't even tell what Sam and Mon know about themselves at this point) but I love him for playfully calling out Sam about posing on her car 😸

- Damn! Sam is already asking who Mon is sleeping with. My beloved ill mannered alley cat. And she's so proud of her little joke 😸

- Aw. Mon's crush is back and she is giddy with it. And what an ending moment.

I'm excited about this show now. They're doing so many things right! The story seems solid and well structured, a good base to carry the relationship through to the end. And I feel like they're hitting the right balance for Mon and Sam's dynamic. Sam is spiking and mean and awkward, and a terrible boss, but we also see her with her friends so we know that she can take teasing and be human sometimes, and that she has people in her life that love her. She's mean enough to build that delicious tension, but vulnerable enough that I can see why Mon likes her, and I don't feel like I need to yell at her to run away. And Mon has a good balance between being open and awestruck, while still having the backbone to stand up to her hero. It reassures me that their relationship is going to feel equal, not like a creepy boss taking advantage of her employee. Those sorts of extreme power dynamics are not what I'm looking for in a story; what I like about subverted billionaire romance is seeing how the characters manage the power dynamics in order to have a real relationship.

Based on the trailer and the grandmother's everything, I'm pretty sure this series is going to get angsty and sad. But given the nuance with which they've been treating the characters so far, I trust them to handle it well.

[aajjks]

*bunny!noona goes and picks up her son after school* hey baby, how was school? i have a surprise! mommy took the next two week off so i can stay with you! yes baby, mommy is going to e with you your whole vacation! we can put the christmas tree up tomorrow, does that sound nice? you made a christmas ornament? can mommy see? oh baby…is that you and me? it’s beautiful buddy..

*noona notices that noah didn’t add jungkook to the painting of their little family. although jungkook hasn’t been a very active father recently, let alone husband.. him and their son use to have a very special bond.. jungkook was the perfect husband and father. everything they did, was together. the spent weekends at the park, made dinner together, movie nights and important thing. everything was perfect.. that was until jungkook got a new job, a job noona didn’t know much about. for a while after he became a full time employee, everything was perfect. she cut back from a full time job to a part time clothing store so she could drop off and pick up their baby boy as he started kindergarten. jungkook would come home the same time and spend the rest of the day bonding with his family. seven months after starting his job, he slowly stopped coming home on time, no longer no more playing with his son, no longer slept in the bed with noona, there was no more reading to his son before tucking him into bed, there was no more making love to his wife at night, everything just stopped. after noona was turned down every time she were to ask jungkook if he was okay or suggest couples therapy.. she gave up.. she no longer has anymore fight left in her heart when she sees how much jungkooks absence has affected their son.. so noona started making a plan..*

hey noah, mommy went and talked to the lawyer today, the one that’s going to help you and mommy leave daddy.. how much longer? well i don’t know baby, mommy’s is saving up her money. i was looking at apartments today, i think i found a great one for you and me. you’ll still have your own room and mommy will have hers but the living room is huge. ill take you this weekend and i’ll see what you think okay? if you like it mommy with put the money down for it. uh oh.. daddy’s already home? that’s unusual.. okay baby listen. these papers right here are the papers daddy can’t see okay? theses are the divorce papers mommy has to fill out. mommy is going to fill these out soon but i need to hide them until daddy isn’t around mommy. i’ll probably do it tonight, i’ll put them in my room somewhere since daddy has been sleeping on the couch.. i’ll just put them in my purse for right now.. i need you to promise me you won’t tell daddy about us going to see the apartments this weekend. pink promise? good. okay, grab your bag and let’s go in yeah?

you’re home early, normally you don’t come in until 12 at night, everything okay? hm, okay. well noah, baby, go unwind a little bit while mommy makes you and i dinner. chicken strips, friends, and maybe.. cookies for dessert sound good? you really are my baby.. i love you. now go on, i’ll call you down. no i don’t want help, i just want to get this done so i can get him ready for our movie night. no, he’s out of school for the next week or so for christmas. well you took the living room over so we’ve been having our movie nights in my room. you have work tomorrow and he’s really excited so he’ll probably be up for a long time tonight so i’ll make sure he keeps it down. jungkook, i need the counter, move you papers to the dinner table or something.

“Noona… he’s already going to sleep?? OK well do you need help? I could!!!! But what’s wrong with you? After so long I finally got to come home early… work has been hectic to say the least.. but I did miss you and Noah a lot.. can I have some dinner too I’m pretty hungry? So.? I’m sorry I know about the movie nights… what if we have a movie night tomorrow? I’m free actually it’s holiday season so I got a few days off… and I’m planning to spend them with you and our son, of course- no I don’t have work tomorrow, but I don’t need to finish these papers.. but I can always do the later go and spend some time with Noah? I miss him a lot! And can I sleep in the bedroom tonight?”

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

ok here’s my question for you as a new Beatles fan now for a couple of months. what honestly did paul mccartney do that hurt john lennon so much (and continued to hurt him long after)?

am i missing something? cause it seems like paul had a lot of patience for john. in fact it seems all his patience was given to John cause man had no patience for anyone else (slowly becoming a george fan more and more each day because he was just not treated right man).

but really, was it an actual thing he did or continued doing that targeted John? again I’m new so maybe I missed something that happened while they were teens or something but I really can’t understand it? did paul steal his girl early on or tried to sabotage the band, did he try to put george and ringo against john? im just confused because the distain he had for paul in the seventies in terms of all the wrongs paul did to him and how yoko mentioned paul always hurt john, im really wondering if i missed something and should be actively disliking Paul too. anywyas thanks for your response !

Hi anon! Apologies for taking a while to get back to you.

So, I think you probably aren't missing anything major, no, at least when it comes to events we in fact know about.

I get a sense that perhaps you've been exposed to John's most negative comments about Paul, but not so many of the nicer ones he made in the 70s. That's not to say I don't think John was sometimes downright vitriolic towards Paul during that period, but it might be a tad less extreme than you think. (It can also be helpful to seek out recordings, if available – often, the words seem worse on paper than how they were actually delivered.)

Anyways, a thing I've learned with regard to assessing John and Paul's fallout is that… You kind of have to decide whom you trust more.

On the one hand, you have John, who expressed rather extreme hurt over what Paul supposedly did or did not do, without really clarifying what specifically Paul did to hurt him. On the other, you have Paul, who over and over expressed a general puzzlement at John's behaviour toward him, seemingly unaware of what he had done to hurt John.

This can lead to two extreme conclusions:

John is being truthful for the most part; Paul hurt him in a way that would upset most people a lot and Paul has been saving face since, pretending he doesn't know what he did, or is so emotionally stunted/self-involved he genuinely doesn't know what he did.

John has exaggerated Paul's crimes to an extreme extent; his reactions to what Paul did or didn't do are fundamentally irrational and thus Paul's confusion is completely understandable.

Now, I kind of deliberately worded both of these using highly inflammatory language. To be clear, if you ask me, the most likely scenario is something in the middle, vast as that spectrum might be. It can be difficult to discuss this stuff candidly, because certain people can get very protective of their faves and hear a dismissal of them when you suggest they were at some point dishonest or even cruel. I showed the two extremes because I've seen people fall into them or believe other people were falling into them, because certain talking points were brought up.

Personally, I fall somewhat more on the John Kind Of Exaggerated side of things, though I think Paul was probably more ill-equipped to communicate effectively with John than some. That being said, I think we as a society have come an extremely long way with our championing of communication skills, so I think it's very easy for us to judge, from 2023. To be fair to John, too, though, I think there are a lot of things Paul might've done to hurt him, which he for entirely understandable reasons would not want to go into publicly – his lack of clarity on Paul's transgressions isn't necessarily in of itself suspect.

I also think you shouldn't assume that John being hurt necessarily means anyone was ill-intended towards him. A lot of heartbreak is caused completely unintentionally. John also likely had trust issues and insecurities that made it hard for Paul's efforts with him to register as loving.

In the end, this stuff is difficult to parse, though, and there's valid reasons to trust either of them more than the other, I think.

[lucyandthepen]

i’m going to say this now because it was actually my birthday today and i got a really annoying comment on one of my fics and now i’m just EXTRA peeved bc someone went out of their damn way to ruin a nice day when they could’ve not said anything about whatever they were crying about.

I don’t care if you don’t agree that writing kpop fanfiction is something integral to the fandom experience. the scenarios and portrayals are 100% fictional. i don’t actually believe mark lee is a hot barista; i know very well that he’s out there doing something i know nothing about and that’s his fucking business LMAO i’m not pretending to know about his life or his deepest thoughts. but idols and celebrities always project images that cater to fandom generated content and idols are HIGHLY aware of this. they know their fans like to ship them in fics, so they do fanservice of a similar nature to fuel fandom generated content. there’s nothing inherently creepy about writing about / fantasizing about your in real life crush as long as you aren’t acting on your perversions out of turn either like … what are u talking about ???

i really don’t have to fucking sit here and prove anything but i’ve published a whole paper in an academic journal about the roles of RPF in fandom spaces and in the commercial side of kpop as well. i don’t have to fucking take the time to drag out all the research i’ve done just to tell someone who randomly came onto my blog from reading fucking jujutsu kaisen reader insert fanfiction (??????????????? like if you’re not into it, why the fuck are you here???) to go away and mind their own business.

it honestly appalls me that there are people in the world who are so desperate for an argument they’ll say shit about what other people like. the internet has become such a quick avenue for people to get on their moral high horses about issues that sincerely aren’t that deep. mark lee isn’t ever going to find my blog and be like dam this chick is wack like??? there is sincerely no harm in rpf as long as you’re aware of the fictional portrayals of people ??????? nothing is ever so deep???

the thing i can’t stand with these keyboard warriors is how they just don’t check their own logic either. as per my research back in my undergrad i know fanfiction in and of itself is highly contended because in the context of “respect” it attempts to undermine the author’s own work. thats actually why anne rice has a tendency to attack and dox her fans who write fanfiction — they’re breaking copyright law lmao. by that logic you’re also disrespecting gege akutami by sexualizing gojo satoru, and you’re also breaking some delicate copyright laws. double whammy. THAT i’ve also done quite a bit of research into!

but i’m never gonna make that point because that’d make me a hypocrite AND i like to do this amazing thing where i mind my own damn business!!!!!!!!!! like i don’t care???? the internet is a place where people in the same fandoms can meet and enjoy fan-generated content. stop trying to fucking dictate what other people do then tell them to “get help” as if there’s something ill with what we’re doing lol.

if you’re not comfortable with it, don’t read!!! it boggles me that you actually sat there fuming like “oh my god this random blog i’ve never heard of before has a story i just find disgusting im gonna say something as if what ill say will make them change their minds and repent!!!!”

there are a Lot Of Things i don’t like seeing but i just scroll! its so much easier than leaving an opinion no one fucking asked for. and if you have a problem with rpf, don’t just take it up with me — see your whole argument through and attack everyone who’s ever written rpf!

i’m just gonna say this one more time — if you don’t like what i’m putting out, don’t read. if you want to tell me something about how wrong i am or how badly i write — i don’t care. i don’t have to prove myself to anyone, and i’m not going to listen if i don’t agree, so don’t bother wasting both our times lmao.

lucy out.