#or a part of him

[teruel-a-witch]

danny: *puts both hands on the table and bends over because he's too short to intimidate the suspect otherwise*

steve: *bluescreens*

[thunder-bringer25]

Honestly I hadn't really thought of it like that, like yes I thought it was an Archivist™ and all that but I honestly never considered it was following them bc of Alice and Sam going to the institute

[monsieurenjlolras]

you've heard of "quiet quitting," now I'd like to introduce you to the next level, The French Work Ethic:

Do exactly what you're paid for and nothing more

Absolutely refuse to be available to contact when you're off the clock

Never prioritize work over your own health, wellbeing, or family because that would be insane, it's just a job.

Have a little glass of wine

Take as long as you feel like for lunch

Deeply understand that work doesn't matter

Make sure your boss knows they're always your second priority ❤️

[otaku553]

Turning around an idea in my head recently :)

Lost Shepherd (Time Travel) AU

In which Truthless Recluse doesn’t experience rebirth and awakening upon shattering his soul jam, but the explosion of his and Shadow Milk Cookie’s combined power in a twisted space where all time coexists as one sends him back in time to his childhood.

When Pure Vanilla Cookie searches for his lost sheep, he finds a lost shepherd to take home as well.

[demonicsuffrage]

8 year old freshly adopted Dick, throwing the moths and flies he caught on Patrol directly at Bruce's face: I got you dinner!

Bruce, who was just bombarded with insects: Chum?!

Dick, smiling cheerfully: Bats eat insects!

Bruce:

Dick: I just read it in a book

Bruce:

Bruce: Bats also eat fruits and nectar

Dick: So you're a fruity bat?

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, throwing an apple at him the next day: Dinner!

Bruce:

[ashcremated]

he was a celestial immortal demoted to volcano spirit, he was a cultivator on a mission to kill demons, can i make it even more obvious? lil bday gift for @ranilla-bean, hi fratm di brutte vibes 💕 xianxia au century egg pookie be upon ye 💋💋🍋🌋🌋

[foopsie-daisy]

Betrayal

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

"Why did I do that?"

close up

[egophiliac]

the gang's all here! commence slumber party

[silosbears]

i think alphonse would still experience depersonalization and dysmorphia even after getting his body back

[prlssprfctn]

I love-love AUs, where Jason adopts a kid and conventionally forgets to mention it to others, but I think it would be funnier, if he adopted an animal, but his family instantly started to think that he hides a child, because, honestly, it is obvious that he will end up with one anytime soon—

Jason, snoozing on his alarm: Hey, sorry, I gotta go. Dick: It is okay. See you around! Jason: *leaves* Tim, whispering: So, I don't want to start a panic, but his alarm name was "feeding time". Bruce, slamming his hands against the table: Finally! This had happened! Jason adopted someone! Dick, no less excited: We won. I am an uncle!

Jason, while scrolling the kangaroo ass carriers on the internet: Hm-m. Alfred, creeping on from behind, very enthusiastic: I would recommend you this one, lad. Jason, shuddering: Jesus— Jason: Uhh. Jason, thinking that Alfred probably knows, so there is no need to over-explain: Hey, thanks, Alfie. Alfred: Anytime.

Bruce, feigning nonchalance: So, how is the baby? Jason, thinking that Alfred just told Bruce about the whole thing: Well, better than ever. Bruce: Good. Where had you found him, by the way? Jason: Her. It is a baby girl, Matilda... And, well, in Crime Alley. Bruce, sniffling, because a) Jason is so him; b) he is such a girl dad himself by the nature: That's beautiful, lad. Jason: Uh, yeah?

Tim: Come on, when are you going to bring Matilda to introduce us? Dick is not getting younger. Dick: Hey— Dick: But also, yeah! I am not getting any younger. Jason, confused: You all are kinda obsessed. Jason: Like, there is literally nothing special. If you want to pat a dog, go and pat Titus. Don't bother my girl. Everyone, dropping whatever they were doing: A DOG?!

[cspcrashing]

fool's hope

[hinamie]

morning glory

[soapbbox]

You know how in TFP Optimus can’t really remember what happened during his time without the matrix. Yeah. The sad version of this what if Optimus met cogless Megatron.

Cont from this, and this

[o0kawaii0o]

After the farmer left 🌟🌠✨

[softaestluv]

obsessed with the idea of onlyfans model! reader x Simon

Maybe you’re one of the biggest creators on the platform and you’re very well known after doing it for a few years. Except, you only do solo content, despite your peers constantly asking to collab or getting requests from fans to see you getting fucked.

Then, one day you post a video showing off some new panties and Simon’s tattooed and scarred hand just appears, squeezing the meat of your ass, claiming and possessive. A subtle message he’s sending to your audience as he spreads your cheeks apart, sliding your panties to the side and shows off your pretty pussy dripping with his cum.