#or help me learn to search on AO3

[tiny-toon-ventures]

Some pony, any pony, HELP!!! /silly I’ve searched the limit of the Barbie Agere tag and I NEED more Caregiver Barbie fics like please

[yayakoishii]

Want | Sanji x Chubby! Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Chubby! Reader

WC: 5.5k

Genre: Fluff, slight Angst

Warnings: Sexual harrasment, derogatory terms for chubby people, mentions of blood, insecurities that lead to a bit of light self derogation (Please remember you're absolutely beautiful as you are <3)

A/n: The response on Hunger is insane. Over 700 likes?! I didn't expect much beyond a few 10-20 likes, thank you for all the love 😭 This is another self indulgent fic, more personal to me because I'm chubby myself so... I'm not super proud of the pacing tbh, but it's still pretty good, in my (biased) opinion, haha. I hope you enjoy it!!! ♡

also available on ao3!

When you joined the Straw Hat crew, you didn't expect to fall in love with the blonde chef.

Actually, when you joined them, you weren't in the mindset to think about love and silly crushes. Your island had been destroyed by the Marines for a 'good cause' and despite the Straw Hats' best attempt, you were the only remaining survivor. Luffy kindly offered you a place on his crew, and you joined as an assistant to Chopper, slowly learning from him.

The first few weeks after you joined were tough for you, who had never travelled outside of your island. It took time to get used to the environmental changes along with the emotional grief of losing all your loved ones. The crew tried their best to cheer you up in their own ways, and you would forever be grateful for every one of them for at least trying, even if their methods weren't the most effective for you. It was the thought and the sentiment behind it that counted.

But what did work for you was… food. Ever since you were a child, you had loved food and it was the way you connected to life. Though you were not the greatest cook out there, you were capable of making things that were edible and quite good at times. On the ship though, you never had to cook, because Sanji would always do all the cooking. Whenever you offered to help, to take your mind off the pain you were feeling, he would kindly decline, saying that he would make you whatever you wanted.

But he couldn't. The dishes from your island were not recipes known quite to the rest of the world. Hell, even you didn't know all of them, save for some of your favourite foods that you had learnt from your mother. So you snuck in after dinner and made a dish from your hometown. It wasn't the best food you ever cooked, but it still meant something to you, because you were reminded of home.

You wrote down all the recipes you knew into a book, and kept it close. Whenever you missed your home, you would sneak into the kitchen at night and make yourself something with your wonky cooking skills that made the dish taste different every time. Still, the familiarity was enough to comfort you and let you wallow in the grief at the same time.

Until one day, you couldn't find your book.

"Nami?" You called unsurely to the navigator, who was lying on the deck under shade next to Robin. Behind them, Sanji was serving drinks. The three looked at you in question and suddenly under the scrutiny, your confidence faltered. "Um, uh.. d- did you see a journal somewhere? I can't find mine…"

"The brown one?" She asked, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. You nodded frantically, hoping she knew. "I don't think I did. Did you check under your bed?"

"I did," you whispered, feeling the sadness wash over you again. It's not like you didn't still remember the recipes, but your memory wasn't the best. Without the book, it would be hard to remember them all.

"Don't worry, we'll find it," Nami got up and reassured you, looking concerned. "Sanji. Robin."

The two of them nodded along and then the four of you were searching for it everywhere, until Sanji had to excuse himself apologetically because he had to go cook lunch. You could only nod, trying not to get down in the dumps again over a book, but it felt a little hopeless. Until you heard Sanji shout from the kitchen. The three of you ran over to find him scolding Luffy, your journal in his hand.

"I just wanted to see what was in it!" Luffy pouted, his rubbery hands swinging around to try and get it back.

"That's an invasion of privacy, Luffy!" Sanji looked angry, but you were too relieved about the fact that you had found the book to get upset with Luffy.

"It's okay," you said, reaching forward to get the book. "It's just… recipes, Luffy. From my hometown."

There was silence in the kitchen for a few seconds and Luffy's face dropped into a serious look.

"I'm sorry," he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I thought… If I knew how to help you, you'd be happier."

It made you laugh softly, your heart warm at his kind intentions.

"Thank you, Captain," you smiled at him, eyes crinkling into crescent moons. "I am happy here. I just… miss my home, sometimes."

He wrapped you into a hug and Nami ruffled your hair a little. You smiled under the attention, holding the book close. Sanji for once was quiet, just staring at the book thoughtfully, though you didn't notice it then.

A few days after that event, Sanji called you to the kitchen before lunchtime. Curiously, you followed him to find… a plate of your favourite dish from your hometown. It was plated beautifully, making it look fancy and yet it still had that homey feeling to it. Sanji didn't say a word, just held out the chair for you to sit. You sat down in a daze, too focused on the smell of it lingering in the room.

It smelled like home.

And when you tasted it, you burst into tears. Because it tasted like home. It tasted exactly like your mom's. All the tears you had held back to not worry the crew were now spilling out without any end but you didn't care. Here, where only Sanji could see you, you let it all out. He didn't say anything, just placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and squeezed to let you know he's there for you. You turned around to face him, but the tears made it all blurry. Knocking your head against his stomach, you cried harder.

Sanji just held your head, carding fingers through your hair in comfort, offering you a handkerchief. That, you realised later, was the moment your feelings for Sanji began.

✿

After that day, you became a lot happier. Somehow, without words, just eating the food that Sanji made was enough to heal your broken heart bit by bit. Sometimes, he made extra because Luffy was curious and wanted to taste it too; and then the whole crew wanted it so Sanji made a few of your dishes for dinner. In that moment, surrounded by the smell of home, around your new family, your heart finally started healing.

You started noticing Sanji everywhere after you got used to life on the Thousand Sunny. From the small things he does, to the loud expressions of love he made, everything about him seemed wonderful and warm to you. Because you knew that beneath his overt affections for all the ladies, he was an infinitely kind, caring and observant person. How were you supposed to not fall for him, when he went above and beyond for you?

And yet, for all his admissions of love, you never believed that he could truly like you back like you felt for him. You were after all, not the prettiest girl around and you knew that. You were not slim like Nami or Robin, and it's not like you absolutely hated your soft and squishy body. But you wondered if Sanji would like you even though you weren't pretty.

All that self consciousness went out the window every time you were in his presence. He never made you feel less, or ugly– in fact, the way he spoke to you always left you a blushing mess. He made you feel special, and in the moment, it would be enough. Until you saw him fawning over Nami or Robin, and then the sneaky voice in your brain would whisper quiet thoughts comparing you to them. You had no chance with him, and you knew that.

And that was fine. You could live with that, couldn't you? You had to, because wanting more than you should never ended well. All it would leave behind is rejection, hurt and awkwardness. So you pressed down the feelings and acted as normally as you could.

The moment you realised that you loved Sanji was probably a memory you would never forget. Although it was unforgettable for you, it probably wasn't particularly that unique to others. That didn't matter to you because it was a memory you cherished ultimately.

It happened when the ship docked on a peaceful little island. Everyone else was going out to enjoy their time, and you wanted to spend that time with Sanji. So, casually, you made your request.

"Sanji?" Your timid utterance of his name got an instant reaction from the chef, who straightened up and looked at you with hearts in his eyes.

"Yes, (y/n)-chan?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Um, you're gonna go grocery shopping, right?" You had seen Nami complaining while handing him the money for the shopping.

"That's right," he leaned closer, almost too close but not quite into your personal bubble. Still, the proximity was enough for you to smell the mild smell of his perfume that left you a little weak in the knees. "Did you want me to get something for you, sweetheart?"

"I just," you hesitated, suddenly scared that he might realise your feelings and get disgusted. No, Sanji wasn't like that, you had to remind yourself. He would never treat you unkindly, even if he knew your feelings. "I heard you always do it alone. I thought you might enjoy some company?"

The hearts in Sanji's eyes disappeared as he stared at you like you were speaking gibberish for a few seconds. Under the intensity of that stare, you fidgeted and waited for his response.

"You're too kind, (y/n)-chan!" He finally cried, holding up your hands in his own bigger and colder ones. You flushed at the action, stammering out an actual gibberish response this time before you were whisked away by the blonde chef to town.

It felt all too much like a date to you, when you walked next to him. Sanji somehow made grocery shopping fun, or maybe that was just because of how much you liked him that anything with him was enjoyable? It didn't matter, you decided, because whichever it was, you couldn't deny that Sanji was equivalent to the sun on a cold day.

He enthusiastically showed you around, as if you were a tourist and he were a guide (when in fact, it was the first time in this town for both of you) causing you to giggle. Whenever you stopped to buy things, he would humour your curious questions on how to pick which vegetable and what cuts of which meat are the best. It felt awfully like a domestic date, one that made you smile when you imagined doing this with Sanji years down the line every week.

"And that's the last of it!" Sanji said happily, picking up the last bag. He was holding all the bags since the start, despite your insistence and now you were anxious, seeing him hold so many bags in his hands.

"Sanji, let me hold a few," you tried again, hands reaching out to take some of them. But Sanji just turned around so you couldn't reach the bags and grinned down at you.

"Nonsense, how could I let such a delicate lady hold such heavy bags?" His words made you flush in embarrassment. You were not delicate in any sense; surely, Sanji knew that too. And in spite of all his sincerity, the word just felt like it was mocking you.

"I'm… not…," you struggled to say, not wanting to argue but unable to keep it in either. With your chubby frame, no one had ever considered you as delicate.

"Let me do this for you, my love," Sanji's voice was soft and infinitely gentle, as if he was indeed holding something fragile in his hands. "I wouldn't feel good letting you carry anything when I'm more than capable."

"But Sanji!" you lightly whined, wringing your hands. "I don't feel good letting you carry all the burden either! Come on, just a few bags?"

Before Sanji could respond, you heard a scared squeak. Your brows furrowed and you looked around the marketplace, finding a man cornering a girl a few feet behind Sanji. She seemed uncomfortable and he was all in her personal space, saying something in a rough, sleazy voice that gave you shivers.

You were not a fighter, but the instinct to protect her overtook the rational part of your brain and you crossed the distance to where they were. Pushing him back, you stood in front of the girl to block her from him.

"Can't you see she's uncomfortable?" You said coldly. "Back off."

The man took an involuntary step back until his eyes fell on you. He reeked of alcohol and smoke and you felt like puking from the putrid stench coming off him but you held it together, trying to come off as more confident than you felt. His eyes roamed over your body shamelessly, and you felt dirty and uncomfortable from the action.

"Don't get in our business, fatty," he grinned, the smell of alcohol doubling the moment he opened his mouth. "Are you jealous that no one will ever give you the attention she's getting?"

The words stabbed you in the gut, even though you knew rationally that you were better off without the bad attention. That was the one perk of being conventionally average in looks– no one really looked at you, in good ways or bad. Or maybe you had just been lucky so far. But hearing him call you that, saying those words, even from someone like him, it hurt a small part of you. Before you could respond, a leg in black slacks came up and kicked the man down with such a force that everybody around paused, shocked by the sudden action.

Even you stepped back automatically, gasping when you saw that it was Sanji, still balancing all the bags perfectly while he had roundhouse kicked the man into the ground with so much force that you could see his teeth had become bloody and he was on the verge of unconsciousness.

"(Y/n)-chan doesn't need the attention of sewer rats like you," he said calmly, straightening back into position smoothly. "Her beauty only deserves the best of the best."

The sight of Sanji saying that with a calm face, his hair slightly tousled, his hands balancing the bags and his leg muscles rippling under the slacks – that image was imprinted in your heart and brain for the rest of your life. The words sent you into a shock, but when they finally processed, you couldn't deny the overwhelming realisation that crashed into you.

You love Sanji.

It wasn't just a silly crush, or something that could go away if you gave it time. The chef had unknowingly carved himself a place into your heart. He was taking over it, chamber by chamber.

"Sanji…" The word came out as a whisper, inaudible under the din of the market as people were talking about what was going on. You snapped out of it when you felt the girl behind you shuffle and you immediately squashed your thoughts down to examine them later. You turned around and asked her, "Are you okay?"

She looked very alarmed and upset, but she still shot you a grateful smile as she murmured, "Yes, thanks to you two."

"He didn't hurt you?" You asked, hands hovering over her as you looked to ensure if she was safe. A peek of crimson caught your eye when she raised her hand to rub her face. Her elbows had scraped against the rough brick wall in his tousling. "You have some scratches!"

"Oh," she turned her arms to look at the wounds, now feeling the burn after the adrenaline and fear response was receding.

"Come on, I'll treat it for you," you offered, opening your sling bag which had some emergency first aid. You usually carried it around for the members when you were off the ship, knowing that they were all too reckless to give a second thought to any wounds.

"Oh, no, no, I couldn't trouble you more!" She said, mortified but you gently shook your head, offering her a hand.

"It's no trouble," you reassured her. It took a little bit of convincing but she eventually calmed down and let you clean up the wound before you parted. Finally, you allowed yourself to look at Sanji, who immediately schooled his features so you wouldn't see the warm adoring look he was giving you the whole time. "Sanji… Are you okay too? You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

"Do you think I'm that weak, sweetheart?" He smiled teasingly, but you felt the need to defend yourself.

"I know you are strong," you insisted, worrying your lower lip as you tried to look him straight in the eyes but kept getting flustered. "But even strong people get wounds. Just because they are strong, doesn't mean that they don't feel the pain. So tell me honestly, Sanji. Are you hurt anywhere?'

"No," he promised. "But if you're that worried, I'll let you check me all out back on the ship."

He ended that with a wink, and this time, you couldn't hold back the flush threatening to overtake your face again. Sanji couldn't help making the mood light again, but he had no idea of the effect his words had on you.

"Stupid," you weakly pawed at his arm, walking away before he could say anything. The blonde chef just laughed and followed you, face once again soft and fond as he watched you.

✿

Sanji may have been one of the only people onboard who was oblivious to your feelings, because a few of them did figure it out after watching the way you interacted with him. The first ones to realise were Nami and Robin, who called you out on it when the three of you were lying under the shade on the sunny deck.

"Really?" Nami had scrunched her nose, eyes critically analysing Sanji as he walked (danced, really) back to the kitchens after serving drinks to the three of you.

"Really what?" You asked, too busy sipping the cool drink to notice that she had noticed the way you had warmly thanked Sanji and given him a bright smile.

"Sanji?" Nami gave you a pointed look. The name made you freeze, and you tried to play it off.

"What about him?"

"Oh, come on!" Nami threw the slice of lemon that was on her drink. You caught it before it could fall on your shirt and muttered an indignant 'hey!' that the navigator ignored. "You like him, don't you?"

The words were enough to make you hide your face in embarrassment. Robin was smiling knowingly from the other side of Nami and you felt exposed, like they had both just turned you inside out.

"I do," you whispered after the few minutes of silent mortification that Nami had spent in self satisfaction.

"Why that loser though?" She said without any real bite. You knew she wasn't actually demeaning him; it was affectionate, in the way one would talk about their sibling's lovelife.

"Because!" You whispered, eyes running everywhere to check if no one else was around to hear you. "Have you looked at him? He's literally so pretty! He is kind, caring, and so, so thoughtful and generous. Without expecting anything in return, he is always giving and giving and he makes my stomach do silly things. He has curly eyebrows, Nami! I didn't think those could look good on anyone. Hell, I know I would look ugly with them, but he makes it work! It suits him, and he's so beautiful and I'm just–"

You collapsed onto your chair, your wet fingers from the condensation on the drink glass finding purchase in the dips of your face to hide it. Just talking about him was enough to get your heart beating fast, and the mortification of what you had just spilled to the two girls made you want the ground to swallow you already.

"You really like him," Robin's soft observation made you relax. She wasn't teasing you. You turned to look at her and caught the comforting smile she was sending your way.

"I was going to say you could do better," Nami turned to face you, swinging her feet around to your side, "but after hearing all that, I think… You two are perfect for each other. Despite all his antics, he has a good heart. And you'll be good for him, because you see him as he is."

"Yeah?" You couldn't help the small flower of hope blossoming in your chest.

"Really," Nami smiled, a rare genuine smile that was usually reserved for late night talks and reassurances in down times.

"You don't think…." You trailed off, fidgeting with the hem of your top, "he won't… find me good enough?"

"Are you crazy?" Nami snorted, picking up her drink. The melted ice had made the level go up so much that it was threatening to spill any moment. "You're better than anything he could dream of. I told you, didn't I? You would be good for him. Having someone like you in his life to ground him, I think there's nothing better than that. You're one of the sweetest people I have ever met. If anyone here isn't good enough, it's him."

"Hey now," you frowned, ready to defend Sanji but hearing his voice stopped you.

"Who isn't good enough for (y/n)-chan?" His face was stuck in a weird smile, like he was forcing it. He carefully placed the plate of pastries he had brought as he continued casually despite the silence, "I don't know who we are talking about but Nami-chan is right. No one is good enough for our lovely (y/n)-chan."

"Oh, look at that!" You hurriedly switched the topic, looking at the plate he had brought. The tiny pastries were adorable and colourful, looking so delicious that it would have made your mouth water if you weren't distracted at the moment. "This looks so good, Sanji. Seriously, if you keep feeding me like this, my weight will keep increasing!"

The last line became a teasing complaint, but you didn't expect Sanji to come to the side of your chair and lean down to where you were tilted. The proximity caused your eyes to widen, the blood thundering in your ears as he carefully tucked in a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, face so soft and warm that it make your insides feel like they were vibrating.

"All the more for me to love, so I would keep winning, wouldn't I, sweetheart?"

You choked, and the need to get away from him before you did something wild like grab him and kiss him got so much that your knee accidentally shot up and into Sanji's back, pushing him forward. The chef's eyes widened at the sudden attack, but he managed to not collapse on you by quickly holding onto the sides of the chair but now you were trapped in between his arms on top of the close proximity.

It made you so weak in the knees, and there was something hot and warm curling in your gut as you stammered gibberish, feeling like you were about to faint because Sanji's chest was practically touching yours and it was all too much.

"SORRY!" He hurriedly backed off the moment he got his bearings, and for the first time since you had come onboard, you saw him have a genuinely heavily flushed face. There was a little blood starting to leak from one of his nostrils and somehow, it helped you calm down. He was just as affected as you were. The idea was enough to lessen your embarrassment by a little.

"I'm the one who's sorry, Sanji," you said remorsefully, hiding your face completely in your hands this time. "I kicked you!"

"It wasn't on purpose," he said, right hand coming up to hide the blush on his own face. "I'm sorry for… for making you uncomfortable, (y/n)-chan!"

Uncomfortable? Did Sanji have any clue just how comfortable you actually felt? The problem wasn't that you were uncomfortable in the proximity; it was that you were too comfortable, to the point that you never wanted to leave. But that would be a dead giveaway of your feelings, right?

"Okay, this is just painful to watch now," Nami sighed, jolting the two of you. You had nearly forgotten that she and Robin were right there, and they had seen everything. She looked at you unhappily, mouth set in a tight line. "How about you two get a room and make out there?"

"Nami!" You cried out. She really just gave away your crush like that?!

"Just be grateful I'm not demanding money to make up for what I just had to witness," she sniffed haughtily, swinging her legs back onto the chair and pulling down her sunglasses. "Seriously, you two, go talk shit out. Or else, knowing you, you will just be awkward around each other and that's gonna be even more painful to watch."

She wasn't totally wrong. You were planning to avoid him, possibly by jumping off the Sunny and drowning to death since you didn't know how to swim. But that wasn't really a solution and even you could admit that.

"W- What's there to talk-?" Sanji seemed a little scared, wide eyes glancing between the three of you. Nami ignored him, and you were too flustered to look him in the eyes. Nami's suggestion was essentially for you to come clean, wasn't it? But that was easier said than done. The fear of rejection and the eventual awkwardness was gripping your insides in a chokehold, and you couldn't move your feet even if you tried.

"Sanji," Robin said calmly. "Pick up (y/n) and go to the kitchen."

"Huh?" You were startled at her words. Pick you up?! No way! "No, no way, I'm too… I'm too heavy, there's no need for that!" Even as you said that, you couldn't actually bring yourself to move.

"I don't really get it," Sanji admitted, looking between the three of you as he spoke, "but I can do that. (Y/n)-chan?"

"No, Sanji–" the protests died down the moment he bent down and picked you up like you weighed nothing. Even as he walked you across the deck, you couldn't help but think that it was kind of hot just how easily he picked you up. "Sanji…"

He didn't look at you until you were in the kitchen and the door was closed behind the two of you. He walked over to the table and then carefully placed you on it, as if you were a teacup made of fine china teetering with tea. Finally, he let his clear blue eyes stare down at you, the expression on his face more vulnerable and exposed than you had ever seen on him.

"Sanji?"

"I know I made you uncomfortable," he said quietly, backing away. His hands came up to rub away the blood but it only made it spread around and you winced at seeing that. You never wanted to see any blood on Sanji, if you could help it. "I touched your… you. It wasn't my intention, I swear! I just, I wanted, I–"

He abruptly shut up, looking frustrated with himself.

"Sanji."

He didn't look up, fists clenching at his side the moment you said his name.

"Come here, Sanji," you whispered, holding out your hands to beckon him closer. His eyes flickered over your face, as if trying to gauge out what you were feeling, even as he followed through your request without a second thought. You pulled out the handkerchief he had given you long back, and wiped away the blood over his upper lip and cheeks carefully before you picked up his hand. The thumb was bloody too, so you gently held the limb in one of your hands and wiped it with the other. "You didn't make me uncomfortable, Sanji."

He stayed quiet as you continued to wipe it until it was all gone.

"Didn't I?" He said the moment you were done.

"No," you said, looking up at him. You didn't let go of the hand, though you dropped the handkerchief beside you. Somehow, holding his hand seemed to give you the courage to make the admission Nami had told you to. "I… Sanji, I like you. A lot more than I ever thought it was possible to feel towards someone. I like you so much that it physically hurts when I see you flirting with other women. I like you so much that my heart feels warm whenever you are around, and I feel so safe in your arms that I never want to leave. I like it when you are close to me. But I know that you don't like me like that, so whenever you get so close, and I can't help but want you so much, it's painful for me. I never want to let you go."

Sanji's eyes darkened with every word you spoke, a gradual change that you didn't notice at first because you were all in over your head. His hands hovered around your waist as you finished.

"Who told you?" His voice was a little hoarse, and he cleared his throat the moment he realised how desperate he sounded.

"Told me what?" You asked timidly, looking down at your lap.

"That I don't like you?" Sanji's voice was a broken whisper like yours had been. "I have never heard anything more untrue than that. All this time, I wanted you but I kept my feelings to myself. Because you deserve so much, so much more than I am, so much more than I can give. I wanted and I wanted and I felt so greedy, wanting more and more of you, more than you would let me have– I wanted anything you were ready to give, and I also wanted everything you have to give. I thought you wouldn't want someone like me, when there are so many better options around for you–"

"What?" You couldn't help but laugh. All his words were making you delirious; this had to be some wild dream you had conjured up. It didn't feel real. None of it did. "I had better options around? Sanji, I was so sure you would never look twice at me! I never felt like I was pretty enough, or good enough to get your attention and you're telling me… I had better options? That's so–"

You kept laughing, body shaking from the weight of the laughter. Sanji stared at you, unsure hands still hovering around you. His fingers twitched from holding back the urge to pull you into him.

"You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen," he mumbled. "Not good enough to get my attention? Darling, you have had all of my attention ever since I met you. No other woman could compare to you from the moment you made your place in my heart known."

"Did I really have all your attention?" You asked, letting your insecurities bubble up. Now that you were both being honest, it was better to get it all out of the way, right? "Even when you looked at the other women…"

"I never looked at them the way I did you," his words were sincere, and in that moment, they were enough. You looked up at him, and your body broke into shivers the moment you realised the heat in his eyes as he stared down at you; like you were some unique dish he was finally getting the chance to eat after years of craving it.

"I didn't want the other options, Sanji," you whispered, the volume enough for the proximity you were in. "The only one I ever wanted was you."

You held his collars and pulled him in, and it was like he finally snapped, now that he had permission. His hands immediately grasped at your sides, gently holding the soft flesh there as he kissed you. And now it was your time to give and give, while he took from you like your lips were spilling with ambrosia and he was determined to get every drop. His warm breath fanned over your lips and the goosebumps on your skin rose again, your fingers tightening around the collars of his shirt.

When he let your lips go, he was greeted with the sight of your flushed and pleasantly buzzed expression, like you were drunk on him. Seeing you like that, because of him, it was enough to get him groaning.

"So beautiful," he whispered, leaving feather light kisses all over your face. "So gorgeous. All for me. All… for me to have?"

"Yeah," you whispered, looking up at him and seeing the devastated yet over-the-moon expression on Sanji's face. Even without words, he could always just cleave into your heart and press himself within its walls like they were made to fit him, and only him. "You can be greedy. Take all you want. I'm all yours."

°•❀•°

[jackactuallywrites]

Purely Professional

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Female Medic Reader

Rating: Mature (nothing too explicit but dick is hinted at)

Warnings: Ghost has a boo boo 😔 (blood, facial injury - split cheek and bruising)

Summary: You are the only medic Ghost trusts to treat him. Also you guys are friends with benefits!

Notes: Yes I do always headcanon Ghost with a broken nose. It’s HOT. Also I’m cleaning out the drafts

Word Count: 1,712

ao3 link

“He’s here.”

You didn’t need to ask to know who the other medic was talking about, nodding thanks to the medic as she left, and you quickly finished up with the young woman you were patching up, “You can take ibuprofen as needed, no more than two pills at a time, and space out the dosage to every four hours.” You wrinkle your nose, “I mean, you know how to take ibuprofen, just basic over-the-counter stuff. But come back if there’s any problems.” She nods, “Thanks, Doc.” You weren’t sure how many times you’d specified the difference between a combat medic and a military doctor, but at this point, it wasn’t worth the air, so you just nodded, gesturing for her to take her leave, “Anytime.” She grabbed the pillbox and made her way out of the room, leaving you to clean up the empty wrappings, tossing them into the nearby bin. You tore off the paper that was covering the bed, binning it as well and then rolling out another cover, making sure everything was fresh and clean. When you were satisfied, you walked out of the room into the waiting room, your eyes immediately landing on the one man who didn’t need to be named.

Ghost.

The intensity of his gaze was intimidating, his dark eyes glowering from underneath the skull mask as though he wanted nothing more than to take down every single person who dared to breathe the same air as him. At this point, the other medics had learned that he wouldn’t accept their help, refusing to utter even a single word until you were free. You leaned against the frame of the door that led into the hallway, beckoning him with a jerk of your head. He rose from his seat, seeming to dwarf everyone else around him as he walked through the room toward you, brushing past you without a word and striding straight into the open examination room, the cold silence seeming to emanate off him like a tangible aura, visibly affecting those around him, the other medics shrinking away from him as he passed.

You followed him into the room, closing the door behind you, “So, what can I help you with today, Lieutenant?” He sat down on the bed in the room, resting one forearm on his thigh, gesturing with the other hand to his face, consistently a man of few words. You stepped closer to him, “You’re going to have to give me a little more than that.” He grunted, reaching up to take off his helmet, setting it on the bed beside him, and then unclipping the skull mask, revealing the balaclava underneath. Finally, he pulled off the balaclava, revealing his clipped blond hair, and then his face, bruised and bloody, his cheek split open, blood already dried to his skin. His eyes, thankfully untouched, the black paint surrounding them unmarred, were on you, boring into your face as he watched you.

You didn’t waste time, reaching out to probe his face, your fingers gently holding onto his chin as you turned his head from side to side, inspecting the damage. It looked worse than it was; facial injuries always bled more, and though he tensed when you gently pressed his cheek, there was no sign of anything broken. After taking a moment just to be sure, you drew back from him, walking to the medical cupboard and taking out an antiseptic wipe, talking as you did, “You won’t need stitches.” He grunted, and you took this as permission to begin wiping the blood away from his face.

“So,” you began, always one to make idle chitchat as you worked, “who did you piss off this time?” Ghost watched you, his face solemn, searching your eyes before he responded, his voice barely more than a whisper, “Couple guys.” You smiled as you brushed the wipe over his split skin, “You know if you want to see me, you only have to ask.”

All the tension in his face seemed to ease then, his eyes softening as he looked up at you, “I know.” You took this as permission, gently nudging his legs open so you could stand in between them, closing the distance between you, allowing him to reach out in his own time, and after a brief moment, he did, his hands reaching out to gently rest on your hips, his fingers hesitant, still unused to the intimacy you shared. You cleaned up the rest of the blood on his cheek, giving him time to get used to your close proximity as you brought out a small plaster to cover his wound. In a moment of impulsivity, you pressed a gentle kiss to his damaged cheek, your reward his sharp intake of breath and the tightening of his fingers on your hips, pulling you closer toward him.

“You know,” you began, letting your hands rest on his shoulders, “the other medics are going to think you’re sweet on me.” Ghost let his face rest in the crook of your neck, his voice low, muffled by your shoulder, “I’m not sweet.” You smiled, letting your fingers trace over from his shoulders to the back of his neck, “No? What would you call this?” “Desperate.”

There was no mistaking the longing in his voice, the yearning, the way his fingers pulled you closer to him until your body was pressed against his. Already, his fingers were pulling at your shirt, just like he’d done so many times before, secretive fumbles in whatever vehicle or armoury was nearest, all beginning with some injury he only allowed you to treat, all ending with you wrapped up in his arms. You smiled, shifting one hand to stop his fingers on their insistent path underneath your shirt, “I think they’ll notice if I spend forty minutes in here with you.” Ghost didn’t seem entirely put off by the idea, his face tilting up as his lips began to move over your neck, gently nipping at the skin, his voice husky, “You love this being our dirty little secret, don’t you?”

It was impossible for you to lie to him; after all, he was special forces; no doubt he could sniff out every last secret of yours if he truly wanted to. His hand was already moving from your hip up to your cheek, forcing you to look at him as he pulled away from your neck, his pale eyes searching yours, “Admit it.” Every part of you seemed desperate to touch and be touched by him, and you held back a groan, “Yes. Which is why we can’t do anything in here.” His lips quirked in a smirk, “We wouldn’t want them to think you give this treatment to everyone.” You smiled, “I am supposed to be a professional, after all.” His thumb reached out to brush your cheek, “Couldn’t we both use a little unprofessionalism right now?”

The idea was tempting. Too tempting. You could feel those eyes of his melting away your resolve, and you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, biting the inside of your cheek, “What exactly did you have in mind?” There was a wicked look in his eyes, luring you into sin, to submit yourself to his will entirely, “What I have in mind would make too much of a mess and needs more time than we have.” You tilted your head to the side, curious, “So what do we do?” He was quiet for a moment, his eyes flicking over every single facet of your face, your eyes, your cheeks, your lips. He leaned into you, his nose bumping against yours, letting you feel that little ridge where it had been broken. His words were a murmur against your skin, softer than he ever seemed capable of, “I’ll be content with a kiss for now.”

It never seemed to make sense that a devil could be so sweet; you knew what he was capable of, you’d patched him up, you’d seen his medical records detailing what he’d been through, yet here he was, asking you for that simplest of intimacies. You obliged his simple request, leaning forward to press your lips against his, feeling the slight stubble on his skin prickle yours, his hand shifting from your cheek to the back of your neck, the one on your hip moving to the small of your back to pull you closer to him, encircling your body, his lips soft against yours, yet insistent, needy. He pulled away before you, leaning his forehead against yours, letting out a strained sigh, his hand moving from your back to his crotch, adjusting his trousers to disguise the growing bulge there. “The things you do to me.” His voice held some frustration, his fingers tightening on the back of your neck but loosening just as quickly, always in complete control of himself.

You could see the Lieutenant return, the way his back straightened, the grim determination returning to his lips. His hands fell away from your body, reaching for the balaclava and mask he’d put to the side, and you knew your time with him was coming to a close. You stepped back from him, tucking in your shirt, allowing him to resume that persona, covering his bruised face with the black balaclava and then finishing with clipping his skull mask back into place, his helmet finishing the transformation. All that remained of him were those soft eyes, out of place, surrounded by blackness. He reached up with one hand to tuck a loose hair back under your beret, his gloved fingers gently stroking against your cheek. “I’ll be seeing you.”

There was no doubt that he would find you to finish what you’d started here, but for now, he was back to business, standing up off the table and straightening out his uniform. You crossed the room to open the door for him, allowing the outside world view into your privacy, not that there was anything for them to see. He stalked past you without a word, yet as he passed, his hand reached out to gently squeeze your arse, sending tingles up your spine as he left you wanting, trying hard not to look like a lovesick dog as you watched him go.

[lunarw0rks]

sweet thing | part one

˖⁺‧₊˚ read it on ao3 | masterlist | ask box

price takes a liking to his neighbor. vulnerable, expecting, and in need of his helping hand. it's a good thing he always wanted a family.

john price x pregnant!reader (based on this idea of mine.)

warning(s): MDNI (18+); NOT EDITED, price is touch starved and kinda pathetic, pregnancy, angst/depression, alcoholism, fluff, fem!reader [wc: 1.3k]

Involuntary stress leave, they called it.

But for John, it was just short of decay. Sedentary, bitter—restless. Stuck at home while there's still a fight to be fought, men who need guidance. His men.

Before the stress does him in, he figures boredom will close in on him first, and it would be less merciful than any bullet or blade. Chores are a necessity, and hobbies are nothing more than a temporary soothe to his aches.

Every morning, irony wakes him up cold. Takes its pound of flesh. The world he devoted his adult life to fighting for, has nothing in it for him.

(Stiff fingers, heaving chest, bile in his throat, tremors marring his nervous system.)

It's hours before he can shake the feeling, so he compromises by rising at ungodly hours and fulfilling a rigid routine—still a trained soldier to his core. And by nightfall, he nurses a bottle until he's warm again, ready for the reset at dawn.

As they gaze out the window, his eyes search for purpose. Two fingers parting the blinds. Something, anything, please. But nothing. The sharp sting of cheap booze rushes past his teeth, and he's ready to retreat.

He winces through the taste before he's at attention again. The rumble of an engine cut short right next door. He angles himself to catch a clear view of the person. Instinct yells for him to be vigilant, but the sight in front of him snuffs the bellow.

The flow of a slip dress in the breeze, sticky strands of hair pulled back, glowing skin, a nurturing hand resting on the bump that shows through the fabric.

You look anything but thrilled while you wrangle your bags and fight the wind gusts, and you're well aware of it.

All John sees is bloom. Purpose. Duty.

Before he can gather all his wits, he's closed the front door behind him, his spilled bottle dribbling along the end table. It's not so much your beauty that drives him; he isn't a superficial man and can't afford to be.

A living, breathing person is what quickens his stride. Someone to talk to. Someone to touch and study. As of late, the only people near have been on the other side of the TV screen, fueled by dramatics and in character.

You find yourself stuck in your headspace again, mentally listing all the tasks that await you inside your house. Chores, mostly, some grocery shopping—and loads more of that endless baby planning. Relaxation wasn't an option and you're actively learning to accept that. Although, it's admittedly difficult to feel any other way when you've got another human to consider now.

John clears his throat. "Let me take tha' for you, darling."

He waits until you meet his stare to extend a hand, fingers grazing the flimsy straps of your shopping bags. You freeze, soaking in the sight of him.

"Hm?" Your brows knit together, and it's only then that you catch up with him.

"Your bags."

The man has already taken them before the words finish rolling off his tongue, but he stays in place.

A soft chuckle comes out of you to crack open the sheet of embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm a little out of it today."

Pregnancy brain, you want to blame it on. But deep down you know it's because kindness is a new taste nowadays.

Most are courteous and accommodating, making way for you. Others look at you like dirt on their shoes. Fatigue draining your features doesn't help, and neither does the absence of a wedding band. Early on, you were naive enough to believe society had moved beyond the stigma. Wrong, more wrong, and a fool is all you are nowadays, even if only in your head.

Exhausted, not out of it, he analyses, and his heart aches.

"It's alright." His voice is smooth as nectar, leaving goosebumps on your skin that you'll chalk up to the wind. "Shouldn't be carrying all this by yourself, anyhow."

You fight the urge to scoff and instead lead the way to the front porch.

He's right. You shouldn’t be doing any of this alone.

Turning the key, you step inside and let the words spill. “Yeah, I, uh— I didn’t have anyone to call.”

Price should be more shocked by your words, but he isn’t. He is really, and truly, desensitized to all the misfortune around him. And it’s not any different with you. His eyes—conditioned to spot every minute detail of a person—took milliseconds to notice your left hand.

Feel her out. Find out more.

“That so?” He questions softly but doesn’t give you a chance to respond. You’ve painted the whole picture and more.

His words are full of every sensibility possible. “That’s a shame.” Pity. Empathy. Grief. Outrage. All except condescension; none of this is your fault, he can sense it.

You expect admonition.

Leading a stranger inside is bad enough, and walking the fine line between small talk and oversharing is worse.

But you can’t bring yourself to taste it. Outside of some coworkers and your mother, this is your first taste of organic interaction, and it’s been overwhelmingly amicable so far. Not something you can take lightly; loneliness is prevalent.

You let out a tired sigh, letting the silent gesture speak for itself. What else can you say? He's already got you pegged after spending all but two minutes with you. Makes you wonder how you haven't noticed him sooner, though you remember his driveway is usually vacant and the blinds are always closed.

By now, it's obvious that if he had ill intentions, he would've acted on them by now. The silence isn't thick or stiff—it's refreshing, oddly enough.

When his mouth upturns, the crow's feet around his eyes are made visible. They've witnessed things, awful things, no doubt. But he's also got a world of wisdom in them.

This is the part where you find a farewell, something moderately polite so you don't feel awful for kicking him out. (Not your fault you need to rest your feet. At least you get the sense that he'll understand.)

In search for the words, you place a hand on your stomach, "well, it was kind of you to bring that in, uh—"

"—John." He interjects.

Out of habit, you form a clumsy smile and ache to get the proper words out. "It was very kind of you, John. Thank you."

Without any further direction, he's able to pick up on your hints for him to make his exit. The bar is so low these days, it's almost shocking. Shuffling to follow him to the front door, your hand seizes the knob.

There's a lot left unsaid, despite meeting your handsome neighbor only a short time ago. The voice inside urges you to keep it short. Send him off, get out of his hair. He was just being nice.

"I should thank you again," you blurt, almost abruptly. Price turns on his heels with little surprise, a leer written on his thin lips. "Next time, I'll take another trip to carry the bags."

"No next time, love." A purr and a new nickname.

Too smitten to even notice the ruffle of some paper when he reaches a hand in his pocket. Even stole the pen off your entry table (a.k.a the junk-pile-of-mail-table) and you were none the wiser. Dated, the way he scribbles on the crumbled receipt and hands it to you between his index and middle.

Heat rises up your neck and to your face when you inch closer to retrieve the number, somehow finding it within yourself to not break eye contact. John's gaze stays genuine, despite the puff of his chest and the way he breathes your scent in shamelessly.

Albeit frazzled—you weren't born yesterday; he's attractive and extremely luring and you're single and hormonal. Wouldn't take much for something to happen.

And if not, you know you'll have fond daydreams, at the very least.

"You ever need anything, give me a call. 'M good for more than bag carrying."

[leighsartworks216]

Designated Lockpicker

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Inspired by this post

Saw this and I HAD to write something about it. It only took me until 11:45 to finish it but it's okay I'll suffer the consequences

Warnings: one swear word, reference to Astarion's past abuse, mention of a terrible texture, innuendos

Word Count: 1,219

Masterlist

AO3

You poke your head into the room. Dust motes float through the air, which reeks with musk and mold. You'd probably cover your nose and seek fresh air if this wasn't the millionth time you’d smelled it.

Your eyes scan along the walls, floor and shelves, searching for anything interesting. Food would be nice - Gale wouldn’t stop pestering you for ingredients to cook with. Bandages wouldn’t hurt either if it would ease Shadowheart’s workload every time you got into a minor scrape.

The room was rather sparse, but it looked like it may have been a study at some point. Books were scattered everywhere, chairs were tipped on their sides or had broken legs, a desk was angled oddly for its placement. Whoever lived here before, they must have left in a hurry. Which was excellent news. Maybe they left something behind.

From the other rooms of the building, you can hear your companions’ muffled voices. You can only make out one or two words as they speak. Karlach seemed to be talking to Astarion; Wyll and Gale were going back and forth further away. You couldn’t hear Shadowheart or Lae’zel, but this didn’t surprise you.

The floorboards creak and groan as you step into the study. Stray beams of light keep the gloom away, for the most part. You can almost imagine how lovely it once was.

You go to take a book off the shelf, but immediately draw your hand back when the binding squishes at the slightest pressure. You scowl in disgust and wipe your hand on your pants to remove the gross sensation. Unfortunately, your more learned companions would not be getting any new reading materials today.

Against the far wall, stationed behind the desk, was a dresser with a glass case on top. All the case had was scrolls, damp and turning green. Any information they may have held was gone.

You grab the handles of each drawer in turn, sliding open the dresser to reveal its contents. A vial of ink here, another useless scroll there - nothing exciting. Until you open the bottom drawer.

Poorly hidden under some loose paper was a chest. It appeared to be made of metal, hardly rusted despite its surroundings. For its size, you were shocked how heavy it was when you lifted it out and set it on the desk just behind you. The lock didn’t look too complicated. You had some spare lockpicks in your pack, you could easily grab one and get it open. You could.

Instead, you leave the chest where it is and step into the hall. You try to listen for your friends, again, but they seem to have done deeper within the establishment. So you do the next best thing: “Astarion?”

The shout travels down the building, and from one of the rooms pops out the vampire spawn. He seemed confused why you’d be calling him of all people. But the confusion is quickly masked with suave confidence as he sauntered down the hall to you. “Yes, dear?”

You smile sweetly at him. “I found a locked chest. Could you help me open it? Please?”

He smirks and taps a finger under your chin, getting you to tilt your head upward with just one motion. “Since you asked so nicely.”

He follows you back into the room. His nose scrunches with the smell of rotting books, but the look is gone as soon as he sees the chest. You round the desk and turn it around toward him. He can’t stop his smile as you rest your arms and chin on top, still fixing him with that darling look.

This had become a habit, to his mind, anyway. For you, this was an enrichment of sorts to provide Astarion with a sense of purpose. Late night talks had made it abundantly clear just how much he loved feeling useful. For two centuries he was used, his autonomy stolen from him for the sake of his master. But little tasks like this did not feel like an imbalance in power. He would open whatever lock you wished for the praise you showered on him alone, but you also ensured he got his pick of whatever was inside. He was being rewarded for his services, something that never happened before - nothing good, anyway - and you loved giving him his moment to shine.

He just assumed you couldn’t pick a lot to save your damn life.

“I’m beginning to think you just like watching me,” he teased. He produced a pick from his pocket and began working away at the lock. “Trying to learn my trade secrets, are we?"

You hummed, looking down at his hands as they moved together fluidly. He could do this in his sleep. “Never. I just love watching you work, that’s all.”

He chuckled. “Really now?” He lifts his attention from the lock to look at you, hands pausing in their ministrations. “And what is it about my work that you enjoy so much?”

You meet his gaze. He can only describe the look you give him as fond. Love seems to rest in your irises, gleaming back at him, on display for the whole world to see. “Your hands,” you answer, and while it was supposed to be part of your playful banter, you say it so genuinely. “You’re always so precise, like you just know exactly what needs to be done before you even start. It reminds me of your embroidery.”

“And here I thought it was for more depraved reasons.” It’s a deflection. He still isn’t used to being seen like this. Seen by you. He still thinks of the way you describe how his hair curls around his ears, and how his face wrinkles when he laughs. “I’m always happy to give you a hands-on lesson, my sweet. Just say the word.”

“And if I ask for you to teach me how to embroider?”

His devious smirk relaxed into a soft grin. He nods. “It would be my honor.”

Silence takes over as he returns to his work. It’s warm and welcoming, despite your surroundings. Basking in the quiet felt easy around him. He could be reading a book, and you’d slot yourself right next to him, and never was there an expectation for him to stop to entertain you. You just wanted to be around him. It meant more to him than you could ever know.

With a final turn of the pick, a faint click comes from the chest. He seems to puff up with the success, like an all-too-proud bird. He slips the pick back in his pocket and steps back as you round the desk. Instead of going straight for the chest, you cup his cheek in one hand and press a kiss to the other. His cheeks would be positively flushed if he had the blood for it.

“Thank you, Astarion,” you whisper against his skin, pressing another kiss to his cheek right after. He leans into the heat of your hand.

“It was my pleasure, darling.”

You pull away with a grin that could put the sun to shame. You turn to open the chest, eager to know what hides behind those metal walls, and he cannot stop admiring how perfectly a stray beam of light hits your skin.

[twst-drabbles]

Soulmates AU: Idia

Summary: You were born with a run-on sentence for a soulmate mark on your arm, from wrist to shoulder. Now you finally met the man that utters these words by a trashcan.

(I was requested and wrote this long number. Over 4000 words all written within the span of four days. I wrote this for @twst-charity. Not gonna lie, pretty proud that I wrote this much in that span of time. Been a while since I could do that, though I did end up pulling a muscle in my neck. I hope this is a fun read. It's also on ao3 as well. Right here.)

The writings you were born with were practically illegible at birth. The font was rather fancy, overly so, and the words circled around from your wrist to your shoulder so tightly that your family was convinced it was a giant birth mark and not the words of your soulmate.

But you grew and so did the spaces in those words. It was a pretty spiral, but as age continued to feed you wisdom, you felt that this position was deliberate. Because, as far as you knew, this first sentence could very well be the ramblings of someone going mad or already is. But first words are hardly something to build assumptions on, especially when it comes to the subject of your soulmate.

These words covering your arm are about a fictional character named Alexius von Tuveria en Ris. Well, at least you hope it’s fictional. It’s kind of a silly name to give to a kid. And also you’re not exactly up for having a soulmate that’s this, uh, verbose and opinionated about an actual person. You’ve been exposed to the deeper parts of the celebrity fan culture and you’re good with staying far away from it.

…Alexius von Tuveria en Ris doesn’t deserve any of this, though not as if he’d do anything about it if he saw since that prince is just too kind-hearted and honestly kind of cheesy, though cheesy doesn’t mean cringe and cringe is something normies are so immune to it almost makes me sick…

That was only part of the sentence on your arm. Your soulmate, where ever they are, they sure do talk a lot. Like, a whole lot. You tried repeating the sentence on your arm in just one breath and you had to practice a few years just to get it right. Strong lungs on that one, probably.

And a whole lot of unique factors to help narrow down the pool of who is and who isn’t your soulmate. Alexius von Tuveria en Ris is a pretty unique name by itself. But, the uniqueness of it did return disappointment, since searching online for a character with such a name yielded no results. You made it a habit to search at least once a week or so, just in case it was a series that has yet to exist.

You were also sort of relieved to find out that there was no royal family with a similar name. Though, that still didn’t rule out the possibility. For all you know, this could be a fake name someone chose for themselves.

Either way, this name will come to exist at some point, someone or something will be Alexius von Tuveria en Ris, and you’d have to make sure to be on top of that.

But, then you couldn’t, because suddenly you found yourself in a place called Night Raven College. One minute you were living your regular life, and the next you found duty after duty from your “oh so kind” headmage with a cat that doesn’t learn to listen when he should.

It was… an adjustment certainly. The grating egos of everyone here, the casual and not so casual use of magic that can and will kill you if it hits you in just the right way, and large restrictions on your finances rarely left you with more than a few complaints, but all you could do was grit your teeth and trudge on.

At least, despite all of these annoyances and difficulties, there are some silver linings to the found here. Magic itself was something of a marvel to witness, you won’t lie to yourself about that. You will never say it out loud for anyone to head though, because you know the minute you do, people like Grim will gloat and unintentionally belittle you with a, “Well, something as simple as that would look amazing to you, huh?”

And out of a need to never hear those words uttered by anyone, you decided to use one of your privileges to lock yourself in the computer lab. It’s after curfew, so most of the students not in remedial classes are at their dorms by now.

Next to you were a couple of spiral notebooks, the blue one opened and already filled to the brim with notes about basic magic mechanics. Sure, you can’t do a single lick of magic as far as you can tell, but you don’t want to make the blunder of relying on your preconceived notions of it.

Though, as with all studying, even on a subject as interesting as this, your brain starts to fuzz up and suddenly you can’t even retain the current paragraph. Your eyes kept skimming over the same words over and over. Finally, you huffed and slumped back in your chair, setting your pencil aside.

Though, before you decide to call it quits and rest for the night, you felt one more search would be interesting. You pushed up your sleeve until you found the name of Alexius von Tuveria en Ris on your forearm, and typed that into the blinking bar.

Hehe, the name looked a little funny in this cutesy font this search engine uses. You weren’t expecting anything honestly. You’ve already cut your losses with meeting your soulmate young. You’ve had cousins and other distant relatives that haven’t met their soulmates until they were in their seventies. Knowing how that bird-brained Crowley works, you’ll probably return back home when you’re at least in your forties. Or fifties.

He’s really taking his sweet-ass time, huh?

Either way, you pressed enter and stretched. Nothing to come of it and nothing to lose with this simple search, right? You’ve already been through the phase of obsessively searching every day back when you were younger and had too much time. At this point, it does no harm to search at least once. You mean, why not?

But, it was a hit. Several pages of hits. At the top of the pastel blue search engine was Alexius von Tuveria en Ris in all bold. In fact, from the title of the website, you’d say it was an entire site dedicated to this character.

Here it was. The very thing you’ve searching for, waiting for, was right in front of your eyes.

You didn’t say anything, you just clicked. Paragraphs and paragraphs of detailed information about this person–a fictional character–laid before you. You nearly ripped your sleeve up your arm as you scrolled down the page, looking between the screen and your skin as you confirmed that what you’re reading is correct and not just a huge coincidence that’s made to make fun of you for having hope.

The name matches, the background of isolating himself in his castle matches, the huge blow out after attempting to revive his Kingdom of Paradise matches. All of it matches your arm.

You let go of the mouse, eyes burning from staring at a white screen with black text for too long, and just sat. You stared up at the ceiling…

…and quietly seethed.

For months you’ve been wanting to go back home, and often in the middle of the night, you’d find yourself wishing you never got transported here in the first place. Some part of you buried deep was starting to believe that you would never go home, and if you knew that the option of exploring a magical place came with the consequence of never going home, you never would have taken it.

But now your arm and this screen was telling you that you had no choice but to come here. That it was destined, preordained. No matter how hard you fought, you were going to be whisked away.

It… it sucked, you will admit that.

But you sighed out all the doubts and breathed in realistic optimism. You came here one way, there has to be a way out. It happened once, so it’s logical that it would happen again.

And so, with a light stretching of your sore fingers and wrists, you clicked and read as much information you can. Absorbing the series that’s apparently been running for a good twenty years with a handful of remakes and one live action that flopped on its face.

Before you know it, it was way past the dead of night and encroaching on morning. You took a minute to stretched and rub at your strained eyes before packing everything up. You’re going to regret doing all this in the morning, when classes start, but what can you say? You like living in the moment.

You walked out, locked everything up with the keys Crowley entrusted you with, and started down the path towards your dorm. Sure, you do have permission to use the mirrors on campus, but you’re pretty sure you need someone with magic to be able to use the thing. Or you probably don’t, for all you know, but you’re not in the mood to test the theory.

You found yourself on a cross section at the road that served as a nice resting spot before heading to Sam’s shop. It had a couple of fancy black benches with gaudy gold legs, a fountain so large you’re glad you don’t have to clean it, and a lot of foliage for that beautiful view and clean air.

With all these sights nicely lit by the evenly spaced lamps to take in, instead your eyes settled on someone that chose to huddle by a trashcan. You heard crinkling and, at first, you thought this person was riffling through the trash. You got closer, and while you can’t say you were wrong, the only thing in this man’s hands was a poster.

Then, finally, you were within earshot.

“And just when I found the perfect poster, I find it in a trash can of all things, wrinkled up and thrown away because some ignorant idiot thought this was only worth as much as a piece of paper,”

Kind a rambler huh? Sounds like he’s having a bad day. Or night. Should probably just leave him alone.

…

Hold on a moment.

You pulled up your sleeve.

“Couldn’t have the decency to give this limited edition poster back for people like me, who truly appreciate the series, to own, but no of course not, it would be inconvenient, horrible that they would wrinkle the main character’s Kingdom of Paradise that he’s always dreamed of, Alexius von Tuveria en Ris doesn’t deserve any of this, though not as if he’d do anything about it if he saw since that prince is just too kind-hearted and honestly kind of cheesy, though cheesy doesn’t mean cringe and cringe is something normies are so immune to it almost makes me sick–AH there’s a tear because of course,”

You were twisting your arm this way and that, making very sure that this random man’s rant actually matched your words. You almost pulled a muscle as he continued, eyes and neck straining to read the words on your shoulders.

You lost your balance and caught yourself just as the man before you stopped his rant with a huff.

Before he could possibly start again, you walked right behind him and said, “So you’re the dude that inked up my arm.”

Ah, you didn’t really have any special words in mind, like a lot of your classmates back in your younger days. Yes, you’re buzzing a little with excitement, but you’re so tired and drained from another emotional high that you’re in a fog. Besides, you already confirmed that this person’s your soulmate, whatever pops out of your mouth will be just as unique.

“Eep!” A high little squeak of a yelp. The student–his jacket held Ignihyde designs on it–retreated his arms to his chest, like he’s ready to either lash out or curl into a ball.

He would’ve fell backwards if your legs didn’t stop his fall.

“Whoops,” you pushed him to his feet with a hand to his shoulder, “sorry about that. You okay?”

Only then did he finally turn. His hood fell from his face and unleashed an absolute bonfire of hair. A luminous bright blue that almost blinded you.

And suddenly, his hair turned an almost violent mix of pink and purple.

He blinked, then his eyes flickered from your face to his wrist, where your words are. The man opened his mouth but his voice didn’t scream so much as it whistled before dashed to the left. He sped crawled on all fours for a moment before finding his footing.

This man, whom you would eventually find out to be called Idia, ran away upon first meeting you, his soulmate.

You weren’t offended in the least. You can understand that being seen mumbling like a maniac by a trashcan isn’t the best way to be seen by your fated soulmate. So, with that in mind, you didn’t search out for him for about three days.

By day four, you got impatient and decided to hunt down for Idia since he has not even left a hint hint about wanting to meet you. A week would’ve been the original waiting time, but this college really takes a toll on you and you just want this done before you get dragged into another magical situation.

The first day, you waited by a classroom you knew Idia attended. Well, Idia’s tablet. Being a housewarden and not a regular student, it’s rather easy to stumble upon information about him. Egocentric students love to gossip when it’s framed to either make their dorm or themselves look better.

You saw a peek of a magical tablet and grabbed without hesitation.

“Ha?” You heard clicking and felt the tablet attempt to leave your hands. You turned it around and faced the built in camera.

“Hey,” you greeted as causally as you could, “Idia, right? Met you a few nights before–”

Another click, and suddenly your entire vision went white with a flash of light. You dropped the tablet.

By the time your eyes went back to normal, the tablet was gone and you were alone again.

“So, that’s how it going to be, huh?” You’ve had your fair share of runaways. In fact, your little group was mostly made of them, running away for one reason or another, like not wanting to go to class, or avoiding cleaning duties for a mess they’ve made. This was not a new situation for you.

If Idia thinks he can run away from you forever, he has another thing coming.

The next day, you found the tablet floating in the library. You got a ladder to grab it from the bottom, but you weren’t quiet enough when you climbed it. The tablet floated right past your fingertips and dashed out the door with a “Sorry!”

Well, at least he apologized. But you still want to talk!

Another day passes and you found the man physically just as you were about to walk out the classroom. He had a stack of papers in his hands, late assignments he had to turn in physically if he wanted a chance at passing apparently. He didn’t see you, so you retreated behind the door.

When you saw Idia’s figure pass by the door, you popped out and grabbed his shoulder.

“Idia,” you firmly said with a tightening grip on his frozen shoulder, “we need to talk.”

And you were meet with a tower of papers to the face and he was gone before you dug through the pile.

By that point, you were ready and willing to start dragging your other friends into the mix. You let this skittish soulmate of yours to run off the first few times because you didn’t want to stress him out too much. But, by this point in time, it would be better to throw caution to the wind if only so you two can actually sit down and have a talk.

But, by the next morning, before you could meet up with everyone, a robot kid you recognize as Ortho shot out of the sky and landed with surprising grace. At the price of leaves and dirt flooding your mouth.

“There you are!” His voice was loud but it wasn’t grating. It was a cute kind of loud, like he was happy to see you.

You spat on the ground and leaned against a tree, still groggy from waking up. “Ortho, right? Hello. You need something? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

“To make a plan to catch my big brother right?”

His accuracy left you stunned.

“Uh.”

“Then, please come with me!” Ortho grabbed your arm and enthusiastically, “I keep telling my brother to suck it up and meet you, but he just won’t!”

“I know that,” you gritted your teeth, feeling like your shoulder will pop out of its socket, “Mind telling me where you’re taking me though.”

“I’m taking you to–” Ortho paused, floated behind you and grabbed your shoulder, “Hold on, this will be faster. We’re going to Ignihyde!”

“Wha–?” But you were forced to eat your words, just when it was finally free of all dirt and leaves.

And before you know it, you were gently placed on your feet in front of the Ignihyde dorm.

“Huh.” If you delete the last few minutes from your mind, you’d say it was a pretty enjoyable ride. Quick, at least.

“So, future soulmate of my big brother,” You’re pretty sure he knows who you are, you’re not exactly a quiet presence with that monster fire cat always around, “I have to do other things, so you just have to go down these paths and you’ll be in front of his room! Just make sure he doesn’t run away, okay?”

Ortho even gave you a little note that straight up looked printed. A clear map of where Idia’s room is.

“Well, thanks,” you turned around to properly face him but Ortho was already blasting off into the sky with a wave.

You huffed out a laugh, just because the whole interaction was ridiculous, and went on your way. You don’t really have early morning classes to be late to, anyway. You just came early to prepare for chasing after Idia.

As much as you would like to take the time to admire the hallways of the Ignihyde dorm, you’re too eager to get this meeting over with.

And then you’re finally in front of Idia’s room. You reach out to knock but the door pulls open, as though avoiding your knuckles. Idia was there, hood over his head like he was going to sneak around again like the first time you’ve met him. He spotted you in a second and slammed the door right in your face.

You waited a few minutes just to see if some miracle would happen and Idia opens the door on his own.

He didn’t.

“I’m not moving from here, if you’re wondering.”

You heard a sharp gasp and then a heavy, shaky, defeated sigh.

“…of course you’re not…” And then heard the slide of fabric against the door before a soft thud at the bottom.

He sat down, and so you got yourself comfortable as well.

“So,” you leaned back on your hands, “you’ve been running away from me.”

“I have…” and then under his breath like he thought you wouldn’t hear, “…any normal person would give up but of course my soulmate would be more stubborn than that…”

You whistled and that caught his attention with a gasp.

“Hey, focus on me,” you knocked on the door for good measure, “Why were you running? That first meeting could not have been that embarrassing.”

“Says you,” his next words came out muffled, like he’s shrinking into his hoodie, “Of all the days to meet you, you just had to see me right next to a trash can like I was some kind of degenerate rat. Anyone would think I was a loser of a freak, stroking that wrinkled poster like that. Well, I’m not! Only true fans would love this series as much as I do. So if anything, you were probably seeing me at my best moment!”

“Huh.”

You can practically hear Idia deflate from behind the door. “’Huh?’ You say… Yeah yeah, think what you want, I can’t even begin to change it.”

You… have a doozy of a soulmate huh?

“Certainly didn’t help that you were flash banged me, almost made me fall down a ladder and threw papers in my face.”

Idia shrank further. “…sorry…”

“Hmm? What’s that?”

“Sorry!” It was a burst of a yell and you had to back up a bit, “I was terrified alright?! I mean, I played all sorts of scenarios and even made a game to prepare for this moment. I had all these scripts in my head and I thought I was ready to trigger the romance flag alright?! But instead, I was stuck in my own head and completely missed it! I messed up and I panicked! You have any idea how scary that is?! You weren’t supposed to see me like that! I was supposed to be at max level by the time I met you but instead, I’m just this unevolved mess!”

You opened your mouth but Idia cut in.

“Fate is inevitable, just as death is… I was going to met you regardless and I guess, I thought, that maybe I had more time. But I didn’t. So I just, wanted you to stay away until I thought I was going to be ready… Ha, either way, it’s my fault…”

…alright, how are you going to handle this? You’re not exactly the best when it comes to emotional comfort.

Well, may as well just use what you already have on hand. Or on arm.

“Didn’t Alexius von Tuveria en Ris think he was ready to rule his kingdom when he brought it back from the ashes?”

You heard a sputter. You continued.

“I mean, the dude was kind of young wasn’t he? Well, not like it matters, he brought it back and someone had to rule it whether he liked it or not.”

Then, you heard Idia actually honk. “No, that’s not what happened! Alexius von Tuveria en Ris wanted to bring back the Kingdom of Paradise not because he thought he was fit to rule it but because he thought it didn’t deserve that fate. It’s not his fault that he was put in that position when he brought it to life!”

Ah, there we go. Switching the subject, your best skill!

You egged him on. “But shouldn’t he have been prepared for that, then? The series did say that he likes to prepare for every thing imaginable because it was a kingdom he was reviving.”

“What the–that’s stupid! He can’t see the future! No matter how much he reads or writes, there’s no way he could’ve predicted that! And even if he did, it wouldn’t have mattered! He couldn’t have stopped the tragedy anyway!”

“Oh that’s right!” you clapped your hands, “Thanks for reminding me. Totally slipped my mind.”

“As long as you know. I hate it when people don’t pay attention.”

Huh, he sounds huffy. That’s cute.

“Sorry, it’s kind of hard to remember with all the stuff that happens in the latest Red Sky Arc, where Alexius just–”

You heard a hard slam against the door. “No spoilers! I haven’t gotten to that arc yet!”

You closed your mouth, almost biting your tongue in the process.

A few seconds, then a minute, and then you burst out laughing.

Idia, meanwhile, was stunned. “W-what? What did I do?”

“No no,” you relaxed, “that’s just the loudest you’ve been.”

“I… I guess that was a bit too loud.” The tone in his voice made him seem bashful. “But I’m seriously not at that part yet. I don’t want to get a head start just yet.”

“Alright, I’ll keep my mouth shut then.” You pushed yourself up and dusted your pants. “I think I’ll be taking my leave here. Don’t want to bother you too much. I just needed to hear an apology and an excuse.”

“Wait, what?”

You turned around, stuffing the map Ortho gave you into your pocket. “See you later, Idia.”

“Wait!” The door slammed open. You turned around.

Idia’s hair was pink at the tips, but at least he didn’t look like he was going to explode. He did look like he was going to collapse though. Poor man looked out of breath.

“I-I,” the pink began to climb upwards the longer he looked at you, “I, uh, I happen to have that season downloaded… on my PC… so if you want to, you know, update your out of date stuff then, maybe you could, you know… watch it with me?”

His head practically disappeared in his hoodie and hair, but you heard him clear enough.

You could tease him, but you don’t know each other well enough so…

You nodded, “Sure, I have time. A lot of time actually.”

That one is a bit of a lie, but you just want to spend time with Idia. You have a number of excuses on hand anyway. You’ll send one off right before settling down.

“Huh? Oh, uh” Idia moved to the side, holding the door like it’ll protect him from his feelings, “C-come in then.”

You stepped inside.

[saulocept]

don’t dull the sparkle in your eyes

pairing: sebastian sallow/reader

rating: t

summary: You probably shouldn’t have stayed up too late last night. Maybe then you’ll never make this kind of mistake.

Or: you accidentally wear his clothes, and his compliment makes things a little awkward. And slightly difficult.

notes: crossposted from my ao3 account, so if you see this on there, it’s me. reader is gender neutral, implied to be in the same house as sallow. warm up, unbeta’d.

You probably shouldn’t have stayed up too late last night. It’s already a given, of course; you’ve got exams in the morning, after all, and you know you need all the rest you can get, especially if you want to be awake long enough to see it all through. Still, it’s hard to resist the temptation of a last-minute cramming session with your best friend, or maybe he’s just got too good at trying to get you to do whatever he wants. At this point, you wouldn’t put it past him.

You aren’t sure you’ve got much studying done, aren’t even sure if you’d managed to learn everything you needed to pass. As far as you remember, the two of you had done nothing but fool around; it’s hard to concentrate when he keeps trying to distract you, trying to get you to laugh over the silliest jokes, even instigating a tickle fight at one point for no reason other than to pull you away from your work.

You wonder if it’s because he could sense your nervousness. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s tried to cheer you up through unorthodox means, and though you’re grateful to him for trying, you can’t help but wonder if he’s somehow made everything worse.

You shake your head, banishing the thought like a bad spirit. It’s not as if you still have time to change things. Or for regrets. Besides, he’s just being a good friend. And at this point, what’s done is done, and right now, there are more important things for you to focus on.

Like not being late, for example. By the time you’ve woken up, the sun’s already high up, bright and blinding, slipping through the cracks of the windows, jolting you out of your slumber. Slowly, you sit up on the bed, rubbing your eyes with the backs of your hands, still feeling slightly exhausted.

It takes you a moment to realize where you are; as soon as the knowledge hits you, you quickly scramble off the bed, accidentally knocking a few books off the bed. They tumble through the floor with a thud, the little notes you’d slipped between the pages scattering around you like dust.

Shit, you think, kneeling down to pick up the papers, shoving them back to the pages without care. You’re going to be late for your exams, and you aren’t even ready yet. You cast a brief glance at the clock on the bureau, eyes widening at the flashing numbers. You’ve only got a few minutes left now to get ready, and you try not to panic as you glance down at yourself, realizing you’re still stuck in your nightclothes.

Okay. Easy. Deep breaths. No need to panic. It’s still not too late for you, especially with the help of magic. Quickly, you reach for the first thing you can find, pulling it up over your head. The robe’s similar to what you’ve always worn: soft, comfortable, if not a little loose on you. Not that it matters now, really. Beggars don’t get to be choosers, and at this point, you don’t have enough time to search for something that actually fits.

Whatever. All that’s left now is to pick your shoes up from the doorway, and then fix your hair a little, make sure that nothing’s out of place. The least you can do is look at least halfway decent. If you start moving now, you’re sure you can still make it without being late.

There’s a knock on the door: three gentle raps, as though the person on the other side doesn’t want to disturb you. You’re still trying to formulate a response when the door suddenly opens, a familiar face peeking in to get a look.

He smiles when he sees you, eyes crinkling in a way that makes your heart beat just a little faster. You look away, pretend to study yourself in the mirror, all the while watching him from the corners of your eyes. “Oh, good,” he says, relieved. He doesn’t wait for a response; slowly, he steps inside, closes the door gently behind him, leaning against the doorframe. “You’re awake.”

“Sebastian,” you say by way of greeting. You shake your head and sigh, because as glad as you are to see him right now, it’s still not the best time for a visit. “What are you doing here?”

“Just checking in,” he replies with a shrug. You roll your eyes at his response, and his smile widens just a little, eyes lighting up with something akin to amusement. “I was going to wake you, you know, but you looked so tired I figured I’d let you sleep for a while longer.”

“I’m actually still tired,” you reply. It’s true, anyway; you still feel a little sluggish, like you could use a few more hours of sleep, perhaps more. Slowly, you turn around to look at him fully. He’s dressed like you are, though unlike you, he looks more well-put together. Perks of not waking up late, you suppose, and there’s a part of you that wants to get mad at him right now for rubbing that fact in your face. “I feel like I’m ready to pass out any moment now.”

He hums, the corners of his lips twitch in amusement. “I can see that.”

You cross your arms, glare at him in annoyance. “You shouldn’t have invited me for a late-night cramming session.”

“Well, you looked nervous,” he says, like it’s enough of a reason. It is, of course, though you won’t give him the satisfaction of admitting it out loud. “Can you blame me?” When the only response you give him is another glare, he raises his arms, as though in surrender. Mollified, you deflate a little, and he continues, slightly nervous than before. Good. “But look at you now! All dressed and ready to go; all’s well that ends well, no?” Here, he pauses, gives you a quick once-over. “Although…”

He's quiet for a second, still staring at you. You’re watching him closely now, noticing every slight change in his expression. He’s frowning and his eyebrows are furrowed, and you can’t help feeling that something’s wrong. “What is it?”

“Your robes.”

You frown, glancing down at yourself. You look normal enough, as are your robes. As far as you know, it’s the one you always wear. “What’s wrong with it?”

He’s quiet again for a moment, thinking. You’re still watching him, frowning as you wait for a response that wouldn’t come. He’s acting weird now, you’re sure of it, and you wonder if you’ve made a mistake, if there’s something wrong with your robe that only he could see.

“Sebastian?” you prompt, feeling more nervous than before. He’s still not looking at you, but you can sense his hesitation from afar. There’s a sudden awkwardness to him that wasn’t there before; there’s a slight flush to his cheeks, but it’s gone the moment you blink, as though it’s never there before, and you wonder if you’ve just imagined it at all.

“You uh,” he begins, then stops, struggling to find the right words. He’s trying really hard not to look at you, pretending he couldn’t see you, and you can’t help but feel a little concerned. Why won’t he just tell you what’s wrong? “You look good in my clothes.”

Oh. Oh. You blink a few times, not quite expecting that. You glance down at your robes, as if to make sure, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. It’s never occurred to you before that you might be wearing someone else’s clothes – his, especially; truthfully, you didn’t think much about it before; you were in a hurry, you still are, and at the time, you’d functioned only by instinct, with only one thing on your mind.

Besides, it wouldn’t be a strange thing to happen; you both live in the same house, belong in the same year. And with how much the two of you spend time together: impromptu hangouts behind the school, sneaking into each other’s rooms late at night, it wouldn’t be surprising.

Still, it doesn’t make it any less awkward, embarrassing.

“I’m… sorry?” you say, uncertain, because it’s the first thing you can think to say, perhaps the only thing. Apologies are easy, that much you know. Acknowledging the fact that he thinks you look good in his robes less so, and you’re not sure if you’re ready for that conversation just yet.

Nervously, you fumble with your (his?) robes, twirling the loose thread around your finger. What would he do if he discovers you have a crush on him? You’ve tried not to be too obvious, tried to mask your feelings as best as you could. You don’t want to ruin your friendship, but how long until you slip and your secret’s discovered?

You close your eyes, suck in a deep breath. You don’t want to think about what would happen then, or ever. He’s the only friend you have, after all, and you’d hate to lose him. “I can uh, still give it back now, if you like.”

He doesn’t say anything for a while, so you continue, hurriedly explaining your side. “I just grabbed the first thing I could find. I didn’t know it was yours.”

Silence. You watch him from the corners of your eyes, nervous. He looks more embarrassed than before, his cheeks flushed, bright enough that there’s no mistaking it, even from a distance. You open your mouth, feeling the need to apologize again, wondering if you never should’ve said anything at all, but then he cuts you off, clearing his throat and speaking.

“It’s fine.” He’s mumbling now, his voice quiet as a whisper. He grows quiet for a second, thinking. He shifts his weight from one foot to another, still trying not to glance in your direction as he continues. “You can keep it. I’ve still got more of them in my closet.”

“I’m sure,” you say, just to bring some levity into the room, some semblance of normalcy. He laughs, then turns his head to look at you. He’s smiling now, a little gratefully, and just like that, the awkwardness has dissipated, and everything’s as it should be.

“I’m sorry,” he says, though he doesn’t sound sorry at all. Amusement dances in his eyes, flickering like flames. “It’s a silly thing to say.”

You clear your throat, lick your lips, ignoring the pounding in your heart, the flutter in the pit of your stomach. “Apology accepted.”

Silence again, though it’s less awkward than before. “We should get to class,” you say after a moment, turning to glare at him once more. “You do know we’re almost late, right?”

His lips twitch. “You mean you’re late.”

You roll your eyes at his response, biting the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing. You walk over to where he is, reaching out to poke him playfully in the rib. As if he could somehow read your mind, he steps to the side, effectively dodging your impending attacks. “Very funny, Sebastian.”

“Only for you,” he replies, grinning. He offers you his arm, which you promptly take – all the while ignoring the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach, and together, the two of you step out the door.

[tsukimefuku]

✎ᝰ. jujutsu partners au masterlist

mdni | canon divergence | multigenre | nanami x reader x higuruma

cross posting: on ao3 here.

ᝰ summary: ten years after a mission gone bad in which gojo and nanami saved your life, you go — against your will — to work at jujutsu high as a sorcerer. you just never hoped this would elicit working alongside partners, and getting too close to them might turn out messy. this is a sequence of one-shots set in the same canon divergent alternate universe, in which Reader is a sorcerer with a considerably complicated relationship with Jujutsu High.

ᝰ important info: they're all written and posted in a non-linear fashion. To keep some organized way of reading them all, the fics are listed in chronological order below. Writing in this is kind of experimental, so writing style might differ from one story to another.

ᝰ a/n: blue for Nanami focused stories | orange for Higuruma focused stories | both for both | stories with other characters have no particular color.

+ Disclaimers

- CONTAINS NSFW CONTENT. Do not proceed unless 18+! - Contains angst, fluff, and slow burn. - There will be more multi chapter short stories. - The one-shots are listed in chronological order. - I write flawed characters — and when I say flawed, I mean FLAWED. They can (and sometimes will) be idiots, assholes, mess up, make mistakes and make up. This is an important one, please don't ignore it. - I’ve decided this will be an actual triangle (fight me)

+ One-shots, short-stories and drabbles (in chronological order of events)

Stories below will be tagged as follows:

💛 Fluff and/or Comfort | 💔 Angst and/or Hurt | 😂 Crack and/or Comedy | 💋 Romance | 🌶️ Smut and/or clear mentions of | 💥Action and/or canon-typical violence

To be loved is to be changed (light/implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛😂 The day you arrived at Jujutsu High and encountered friends from the past.

These silly little memories (light/implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛😂 You reminisce about the past while chatting with Ijichi and Yuuji.

In my shoes (light/implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 💥💔💛 You get severely injured while on one of your first missions with Nanami.

Tea for your thoughts (light/implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛 Soft drabble where you receive tea waking up after a terrible night.

Valentine's Day and dark chocolate (light/implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛 You bought a box of chocolates you don't really like.

Would you let me die? (light/implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛💔💋 You and Nanami have a significant conversation, and you request something of him.

Driving lesson (Platonic Ijichi & OC/Reader) 💛😂 You asked Ijichi for some driving lessons.

Wardrobe malfunction (Light Nanami x OC/Reader) 😂 Your cursed technique isn't exactly clothing-friendly, and when you find yourself in a less than ideal situation, you only had one person you could ask for help.

Nanamin (light Nanami x OC/Reader) 😂 You ask Nanami why people keep calling him “Nanamin”.

Photo, motto! (Yuuji, Nobara and Megumi chaotic trio, light/implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 😂💛 Yuuji, Nobara and Megumi are shocked to learn you have no social media accounts, and decide to change that. However, things don't go as planned.

About witches and villages that hate sorcerers (light/implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 💔💥 What happens when your communication gets cut off during a mission in a village, and everyone knew you went there in the wrong state of mind?

Kikufuku picnic gratitude (Platonic Gojo x OC/Reader) 💛 Your friend Satoru Gojo just had some intense news and needs company.

The search for the man in the black suit (Higuruma & OC/Reader)💥 You were assigned to find and capture Higuruma Hiromi, a curse user sentenced to death by Jujutsu higher ups. You're just not sure if he really deserves to die.

Suspended death row (0%)

Toxic endeavors (Higuruma & OC/Reader)💥💔 You and Higuruma are on your third mission together, and you save him from getting injured, putting yourself in harm's way as you do so.

Team fighting (light Higuruma x OC/Reader) 💛😂 You decided to train team fighting with Higuruma in an unorthodox way.

Short story: Right, wrong and the in-between (Nanami, OC/Reader, Higuruma) 💛💔💥 You and Higuruma were assigned to investigate the disappearance of women around Shinjuku. This led to a dicey situation regarding what place Jujutsu sorcerers occupy in this world and what is their role to play when non-sorcerers get involved. Chapters: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Epilogue

Crooked gardening (light/implied Higuruma x OC/Reader) 💛 Higuruma keeps thinking about something you have done for him, and takes a walk to clear his mind.

Kindness and sunflowers (light/implied Higuruma x OC/Reader) 💛😂💋 You get a drunk Higuruma safely home.

Short story: Colleagues in arms 💥 Nanami and Higuruma are dispatched to exorcize a curse together, having to conciliate their personal issues in order to get the job done. Chapters: Single chapter

Where does your mind drift? (light Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛💔💋 After you and Nanami get stranded trying to get back to Tokyo, you both end up having a chat about your feelings.

The event, Part 1 (explicit! Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛💋🌶️ after struggling for so long with the feelings you had for nanami, your colleague and closest friend, you finally decide to put an end to your misery and confess to him. little did you know there was no misery left for you to wallow in that night — none at all.

PRIV FOR REWRITE -The event, Part 2 (Nanami x OC/Reader) 💔💋 The aftermath of The Event, Part 1. Nanami needs to have a serious talk with you.

The man who played with fire (explicit! Higuruma x OC/Reader) 💛💋🌶️ After some drinks by yourself and getting frustrated with someone, you stupidly knock on Higuruma's door to test a theory.

The morning after is still last night (Higuruma x OC/Reader) 💛💋 After last night, you and Higuruma share a brief pillow talk.

What if (Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛💔💋 What if the world was more forgiving, and you and Nanami never became jujutsu sorcerers?

Short story: Lover's Pass (Nanami x OC/Reader) 💛💔💥💋 You and Nanami were sent to investigate cursed activity linked to disappearances in the Lover's Pass. Meanwhile, you both still have to deal with the fallout that happened after the last time you were together. Chapters: Single chapter

Bartender confessions (Nanami x OC/Reader) 💔 Nanami is trying to drink himself into oblivion to get his mind off of you.

Tactics (explicit! Higuruma x OC/Reader) 💛💋🌶️ You and Higuruma finally go on your first not-date when you decide to give him an answer.

Human resources, tasukete! (Gojo / Shoko / Ijichi. Fluff Higuruma x OC/Reader, just crack, honestly) 💛💔😂 You're concerned and decide to ask your friends about Jujutsu High's HR policies regarding romantic relationships.

It takes one to know one (Higuruma x OC/Reader) 💛💋 You and Higuruma decide to make a promise to each other.

Tie me up (explicit! Higuruma x OC/Reader) 😂💋🌶️ After failing to make a romantic dinner, you're very upset. Hiromi volunteers to “help you out” with that frustration.

Tea and coffee (Higuruma x OC/Reader, implied Nanami x OC/Reader) 💔💛😂 - You had a sleepless night and needs some caffeine to keep yourself from falling asleep before the day has even begun, so Nanami and Hiromi lend a helping hand.

Short story: Old regrets and guilt ridden pasts 💔💛💋🌶️ After you enter Hiromi's domain and he meets an acquaintance from the past, you both see yourselves confronting ancient ghosts and old regrets. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (10%)

Bread for breakfast (Higuruma x OC/Reader, implied past Nanami x OC/Reader) 💔 - Hiromi decides to walk down to a bakery he likes and have breakfast before heading to Morioka, and ends up bumping into Nanami.

Fixing broken things (implied/soft Nanami x OC/Reader) 💔💛 - After you realize that everything you were taking care of just wound up crooked anyway, you're pissed and needs a helping hand in order to not let the anger get the better of you.

Forgiveness is a collective resource (platonic Gojo & OC/Reader) 💔💛 - As you're telling Gojo about your most recent fallout, he ends up telling you in return the last question Geto posed him before leaving.

The letter (coming soon…) 0%

Books and dinner (coming soon…) 40%

Unwell (coming soon...) 10%

Bar discoveries (coming soon…) 0%

No more patience behind the wheels (coming soon...) 100%

Eulogy for the love remained (coming soon...) 30%

How do you say it? (soon) 0%

Bad dream (nanami x OC/reader) 💛 - after a bad night filled with nightmares, nanami is glad to see you never left his apartment.

In-office nap time (soon) 0%

Something’s off (soon) 0%

…

The ship of Theseus 0%

+ About and P.A.Q. (Possibly Asked Questions)

Q: How did this come to be? This came into my mind as I was thinking about my Jujutsu Kaisen Original Character, Shiori Yamada. She is from my JJK Canon Compliant fanfic, Sand and Snow. I thought: what if she came to Jujutsu High years after the events of Sand and Snow? And that's where it started.

Q: What's the difference between the short stories and the one-shots? Mostly, I usually have a long or dedicated main plot in my short stories, whereas in the one-shots, what is written is much more focused on an excerpt of the characters' interactions.

Q: what is the best way to read this? I wrote it in a way that basically all one-shots can be read as stand-alone pieces (same for each short story). Just read in the chronological order of events, as listed above.

Q: is it the same f!reader in all of these stories? Yes, it is The reader is based off of my Original Character, Shiori. I didn’t intend to make her a staple, but just liked the character too much to let it slide. I’ll eventually make a reference sheet with her story (as soon as I finish Sand and Snow, to avoid spoilers).

+ Relevant updates + Notes

other updates can be checked on the reblog section

Playlist (a.k.a. stuff I listen to when writing these): ♪ Want me too - Mons Vi / ♪ Heart's a Mess - Gotye / ♪ It's gonna rain - Bonnie Pink / ♪ I love you so - The Walters / ♪ Ichigo Batake de Tsukamaete - Sunny Day Service / ♪ Setsuna - Sunny Day Service / ♪ For Emma - Bon Iver / ♪ Break - alex_g_offline / ♪ My love, mine all mine - Mitski / ♪ Babooshka - Kate Bush / ♪ One last kiss - Hikaru Utada / ♪ Tactics - The Yellow Monkey / ♪ Mr. Deja Vu - Naja / ♪ Stuck on the puzzle - Arctic Monkeys / ♪ We’re all eating each other - Julie Ivy / ♪ Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette (HiguReader specific) / ♪ Nothing in my way - Keane (NanaReader specific) / ♪ I bet on losing dogs - Mitski / ♪ Chamber of reflection - Your Anxiety Buddy (cover) / ♪ Sunny - Yorushika / ♪ Sayonara Bye Bye - Matsuko Mawatari / ♪ Misery - Maroon 5 / ♪ First love/Late spring - Mitski / ♪ Heart skipped a beat - The XX

ׂ╰┈➤ You can listen to the full playlist here (on YouTube).

Update + Mar 26, 2024

I just decided to list all one-shots and short-stories together. Seemed more simple and efficient.

Update + Mar. 23, 2024

There are some things I want to put here because as an anxious writer, I like when other writers do this.

1. this is my COPIUM from the trauma I have endured during JJK (thanks Gege), so no matter what, THERE WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING for all characters. I just like the bumpy road, makes the happiness at the end feel worthwhile.

2. I decided to one-shot the ending. However, the long fic based off of this universe will probably have a slightly different and bigger one. There are many things (protagonist’s power journey, lore, her backstory, actual big plot that I have planned, etc) that I really want to write on the long fic, and didn’t find a way of doing so in these one-shots and short stories.

3. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but I began cross posting these on AO3. The link is on the top.

4. The Big Sad™ and The Big Feels™ are about to get started. I’ll just finish up some one-shots first and then proceed with them. There will be angst, but a lot of fluff too.

Commentary

Random thoughts and fun facts from the author that absolutely no one asked for but I wanted to write anyway

Themes are... guilt, forgiveness, grief, and life after loss, I guess? Idk, I like writing characters interacting and growing with each other, so I just give them their trauma and let them work through it.

I first got inspired to write HiguReader when I listened to “Loser, Baby” from Hazbin Hotel. They’re both so over Jujutsu High’s shit and vibe on that shared contempt that I just loved the concept of it.

One of my favorite things to do is getting traits from a character and twisting them to be a double edged knife - a quality and a flaw at the same time. Basically, that’s what I did with Nanami’s protective persona, and intend to do (as of writing this on march 24th) with Higuruma’s sense of justice and responsibility.

I was terrified writing my first smut piece (The Man who Played with Fire), and I’m astonished at how well it was received. You guys are the best, seriously.

Nanami’s suffering will end soon (I say as of writing this, march 24th).

I got inspired by some very talented authors on this site to write non-explicit sex scenes, and will try doing it in two or three one-shots, where there is sex involved, but I don’t think smut would fit very well.

Writing smut as a demisexual person is an entire experience, let’s just say that.

From the very beginning, I just found it impossible in my heart to ship or even hint at shipping OC/Reader and Gojo. Also, as a NM person who doesn’t appreciate rigid hierarchy of romantic x platonic relationships, I wanted to write more on becoming friends with Gojo. However, from what I could see when writing these fics and shorts, this will end up mostly in the long fic.

I STRUGGLE with headers so damn much. I don’t like using fanart (shy to ask for permission), and finding good fitting anime frames/manga panels is usually a little difficult without becoming too repetitive. I’ll just try my best making headers for the AU stories moving forward.

I like writing strong, capable, willful female characters who are secure of themselves and have got some rizz iykwim. Dainty female characters are really not my thing when it comes to writing. I’ll eventually try writing more delicate or heart-warming female leads/readers, though, because we should strive to get out of our comfort zone.

Writing in 2nd person is still a challenge for me. I was used to writing in 1st person in a Lispectoresque style when I wrote ten years ago (also, I did it in my native language). “The Letter” will be (or “was”, depending on when you’re reading this) my attempt at transporting my original style of writing into English and reader insert.

[starryevermore]

the house of snow (2) ✧ coriolanus snow

the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au | pinterest board | ao3

pairing: king!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

series summary: the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his.

chapter summary: though you want nothing less than to marry coriolanus snow, he seems intent on finding you a reason to comply. 

word count: 2,621

series warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later

chapter warnings?: no use of y/n, manipulative!coryo, not proofread

Coriolanus Snow’s courtship with you was the talk of the ton. After he was seen promenading with you, it seemed like all anyone could talk about was your impending nuptials. It infuriated you to no end. He hadn’t even proposed and people were already treating you like you were his property! What would people do if you actually married him? When you married him. It was an inevitability at this point. He had been at your family home every day for the past week. No other man dared to speak to you, save for Sejanus. They all knew better than to attempt to take you from Snow. 

Your only solace was when you would go to the modiste with your mother. She was often distracted by the fabrics on display, trying to figure out what you might look best in. It gave you the time to talk to Tigris, albeit in hushed whispers. When Snow had been crowned king, you learned that Tigris had grown estranged from her cousin. She never said much about it publicly, but at least she would listen to you vent about the man ever since he decided he was going to torment you with marriage. 

“I do not understand why he’s doing this,” you said to Tigris as she helping you into a grown. “He has always despised me, I’m sure of it. I do not care what Lord Plinth says. We would be miserable together.”

Tigris hummed. “It would not serve you well to try to understand Coriolanus’s mind. Even when you think you understand him, he will have another motive entirely unknown to you.”

You chewed on your lip. You were grateful your mother was too distracted to notice. She always hated that habit of yours. That is not very ladylike! she would hiss and grab you by the arm, dragging you away from whatever social engagement you were participating in. Nor is acting like a crazed banshee, you would think. Heaven forbid you show any signs of nervousness. 

It did ease your nerves ever so slightly, though, to learn that Tigris was as confounded by Snow’s behavior as you were. While it would have been easier to believe Sejanus, to think that Snow secretly held a flame for you all these years, you had enough personal experience with the man to know that, that was the furthest from the truth. Hell, even Snow’s own words—that he wanted a wife that he could keep in line—did not feel entirely honest. He was up to something. You just weren’t sure what. 

“Will you be joining us for dinner at the palace on Friday?” you asked, trying to pull yourself from the spiral before you could fall too deep into it. 

Tigris looked up, her brows furrowed together. “Coriolanus has not told me about the dinner.”

Your shoulders fell. Oh, you had been hoping she would be there. It would have certainly been a solace for you, to have at least one person in the room who you could talk to and not want to scream. Though, you supposed Snow had done that on purpose. If he was intent on torturing you, this would certainly be the way to go. 

“What a shame.”

“What’s a shame?” your mother asked, her attention finally torn away from the fabrics. 

Tigris answered for you. “We were talking about the dinner with Coriolanus. I was saying that I would not be able to come.”

“Ah. Well, that is a shame. But not to worry, there will be plenty of time to talk once they are married.”

Tigris offered a tight-lipped smile. She spared a glance at you, as if to gauge your reaction to the mention of your impending nuptials. “Of course. I look forward to someone as kind as your daughter being part of the family.”

A satisfied smile curled across your mother’s face. She stood a little taller, shoulders held back, at the idea that one of Snow’s family members also approved the marriage. In her mind, it probably meant that the marriage was sure to happen. Little did she know that Tigris and Snow’s relationship had become strained over the years. If anything, Tigris’s approval might have meant that Snow would suddenly become uninterested in you.

At least, you would hope that. At this point, however, Snow had decided that you were to be bride. There would be little that could stand in his way. A scandal, perhaps, because he cared so much for his personal image. But a scandal could ruin you, and that would leave you right where you started—without a single chance for happiness. 

“Then I hope you would not mind making her wedding gown?” your mother asked. 

“I have already begun working on designs.”

Oh, you hated how your fate was already sealed. 

“The palace is quite beautiful, is it not?” your mother remarked as the butler led you and your parents to the dining room. 

You fought the urge to roll your eyes, though you could not stop yourself from saying, “You act as if you have never been here before.”

If you were at your own home, your mother might have snapped at you for your remark. But here, in the palace, the home of the King, where he could be lurking behind any corner, she held her tongue. “Yes, well, one sees the palace in a new light when learning that it could be their daughter’s future home.”

Your gaze swept over the palace. In truth, the building was exquisite. A testament to how talented the people of Panem are to create a place that housed only the best of the best. Well-crafted furniture, stunning paintings, marble statutes that almost looked like a person had been encased in the rock. But it was the home of Snow, and you hated anything to do with him.

“The decorations are rather tasteless.”

This time, your mother could not hold her tongue. She stopped in her tracks, snatching you by the arm. For a moment, you wondered if you had gone too far. If you had crossed a line. “You will lose the attitude at once—”

“I have to admit, I do agree with her.” 

Does Snow have trap doors all throughout Panem so that he can appear anywhere at a moment’s notice? 

Your mother dropped your arm. She cleared her throat, as if that might dispel the rage hanging in her voice. “Your Majesty—”

“I have not yet had time to update the decor to my tastes. Ruling a country, it turns out, takes up quite a bit of one’s time. Though, I hope that your daughter shall soon help me with making this palace more of a home.” He took a step close to your mother. His pale blue eyes were uncharacteristically dark. His voice dropped low as he continued, “But do not be mistaken. I will not stand for anyone speaking to her like that, even her own mother. Do you understand?”

Your mother could only bare to nod. 

Snow’s gaze slid over to you. His eyes softened. You never seen him look like that before. For a moment, you wondered if Sejanus was right about Snow harboring feelings for you. But then you remember how cold he just was to your mother. Even if she deserved it, a chill ran down your spine as you wondered how cruel he would be towards you. He held out his arm towards you. “Dinner will not be ready for a while. In the mean time, I could show you the library? I remember how you always had your nose in a book at the Academy.”

Between dealing with your mother’s embarrassment and rage or dealing with whatever torment Snow had in store for you, you would rather be with Snow. If only because you weren’t sure what your mother might do when the King’s eyes were not on her. She needed a moment to calm, and perhaps playing nice with Snow might aid in that. You slipped your hand around his bicep. “That would be lovely.”

Snow smiled—a rarity that was becoming more frequent. If he was playing the part of an interested man just so he could spend the rest of your life torturing you, he almost had you fooled. “Wonderful. The library is just down the hall here.”

He began to lead you down the hall, but he did not get far when he stopped. You were forced to stop as well, confused by his actions. What was he doing? Then he turned, his cold eyes focused on your mother. She stood just a few feet behind you and Snow. She cowered under Snow’s gaze. 

“Is everything alright, Your Majesty?” she asked. 

“I do not recall inviting you to the library.”

You looked between your mother and Snow. A battle of prides, it seemed. No sane Mama would allow her eligible daughter to be alone with a man. It would be a scandal if word ever got out. Of course, this was the palace and this was King. Nothing ever left the palace walls that Snow did not want out into the kingdom. Even if this was something that would ruin your reputation otherwise, Snow might not let that happen. Unless, of course, that was his plan all along. To ruin you for anyone else.

“That is hardly appropriate!” your mother protested. 

Snow took a breath. He looked down at you, then back to your mother. “Allow me to make myself clear. While we have not yet gone through all the formalities of a proposal, I fully intend to make your daughter my bride. I have only publicly moved at the pace I have so that no one would think ill of her, and in turn, me. Now, there is no one here that could harm her reputation. So, if I would like to go to the library alone with my future bride, I do not see how the mere wife of a Lord could stop me.”

Your mother looked to you, as if daring you to follow him. To do so would be an insult to her. But to deny Snow might be your demise. Granted, you did not know if he was capable of such things. But a man with this amount of power was capable of anything. When you looked to Snow, he was already looking down at you, as if trying to gauge whether you would start a fight or comply. You looked back to your mother. “It will only be a moment, Mama. Nothing untoward will happen.”

She sucked in a breath, seemingly ready to protest. Yet, when Snow turned his glare back to her, she fell silent. A nod was her only signal that she would not fight him further on the matter. 

With that, Snow began to lead you to the library; this time, alone. You expected the walk to be silent, though that might have only been because you had nothing to say to Snow. However, when you were out of your mother’s earshot, Snow said, “See? Isn’t this much easier when you don’t fight me?”

It would have been smarter for you to hold your tongue. But you were not the sort of woman Snow wanted you to be. “When confronted with two evils, it is easier to choose the lesser.”

Snow raised a brow. “You think I am lesser?”

You looked over your shoulder to your mother. Though she was far away, you could still see the way rage overtook her and felt pity for the butler who was attempting to placate her with a tray of tea and cakes. “I do not know what to expect of you,” you admitted. 

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Nor do I know what to expect of you.”

Turning your gaze back to him, you said, “You should expect one thing of me, Your Majesty. I will not be the meek bride you want me to be. I will never fall in line for the sake of falling in line. I do not wish to marry you. I only will because you have removed every other choice I have.”

Snow stopped in front of a large pair of oak doors. He stared at them for a while, perhaps considering whether he should distract you with the arrival at the library or respond to what you have said. Finally, he asked, “Is it true you wished to marry Sejanus?”

How could he have known that, you wondered. The only people you had ever voiced that to were your parents, and only in an attempt to persuade them to let you consider anyone but Snow as a potential match. The question itched at you, and so you had to ask. 

“It does not matter where I heard it from. What matters is your answer.”

You frowned, trying to sort through your options. You weren’t sure how much Snow was a jealous man or vengeful one. You would hate to see Sejanus harmed because you had said the wrong thing. You took a breath. “I always wanted to marry for love, but my parents made clear that that was not an option. It is no secret that I do not wish to marry you despite my parents urging. I had once expressed that, if they wanted to marry me off to a man of higher social standing, that I would comply with a match with Lord Plinth. I did not, and I do not, love him. But he is an easy man to love. If I was forced to marry anyone, I would protest the least with him.”

“He cannot give you what I can.”

“Perhaps. But I value my happiness over all else. How could I ever be happy with a man that so openly stated he only wanted a wife that would provide him a child and be otherwise complacent? We are too different. We always have been.”

Instead of acknowledging you said anything, Snow reached out with his free hand and opened the door to the library. He pushed it open, leading you into the expansive room. Though you wanted him to respond to you, you found yourself dropping your hand from his arm, turning slowly to take in the rows and rows and rows of shelves. The entire room took over two floors, books as far as the eye could see. You could spend every day there and still not have read any books. 

You stepped toward one of the shelves, pulling a book at random, thumbing through it. “I have never seen this many books before. Mama always hated that I was well-read,” you confessed. You weren’t sure why you were saying it. Something about Snow just made you want to confess things today, it seemed. “She would have preferred it if I filled my time with hobbies that would have made me more desirable to my future husband. Needlework, piano…She always said that men do not want women who have ideas. I always told her that that was a relic of the past, that the times have changed. She would say that all men are the same, even if they pretend otherwise.”

A hand reached out, pushing the book down. You looked up at Snow. He looked…odd. You couldn’t begin to describe how he looked. Something caught between pained and…admiration? No, that couldn’t be. Snow cared for you as little as you cared for him. He was only doing this for his public image. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And yet, when he said, “The library is all yours if you will be a good wife for me,” for a moment, you considered agreeing. 

[airbendertendou]

various faves nd ways they stim w you! ♥︎ [ including : levi from obey me, izana, kyotani, todoroki from hnl, nishinoya, sanzu, mammon from obey me and connor ]

stimming is normal. everyone stims. this is written w an autistic or neurodivergent person in mind HOWEVER anyone can read it. everyone stims. stimming is normal. everyone stims. stimming is normal. one more time!! do not use this as a way to diagnose yourself please. thank you.

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked.

i can see LEVI learning your fave kpop / jpop song to dance n sing w you. his cheeks are pink as he does the more hip-heavy movements, but he prefers the sound of girl group songs. its the most exercise he gets and it heightens his stamina, but he breathes really heavily w ease [if youre insecure abt your lack of stamina!!]. wait also matches the color scheme of the mv / dance practice you dance to ):

with IZANA, he sits criss-cross across from you on your bed. pretty eyes are narrowed a bit, but his mouth curls into his half-smile as you wiggle your fingers at him. he grabs your hand and begins pulling you back n forth so you’re rocking but he’s sitting still. it makes you laugh hysterically and he grins so so widely at the sound <3

now KYOTANI does puzzles or word searches with you!! his eyebrows furrow and his tongue pokes out in concentration. stays out of your way and lets you take the lead. if you do your puzzles in a specific way [i go by color <3] he will go to the opposite side of the table so hes still helping but isnt in your space. rubs his feet against yours when they brush

TODOROKI is your personal safe space! a little shelter of your own!! reads to himself when you skitter just into his sight, jus standing there. he doesnt even speak before he raises his arms, eyes still on his book. you dive in, swooping under whatever shirt or sweater he wears, your ear on the center of his chest so you can hear his heart. pats where he assumes your head is, and sometimes reads to you if youre disgruntled

annoys the team when NISHINOYA hears your vocal stims nd he immediately echoes them back to you. immediate responses of movie quotes, song lyrics, or whatever noise your brain is stuck on. [its funny but sometimes you get embrrassed abt the noises your brain decides to loop] but noya really tries his best to make sure youre not shy abt your stims nd lets you know youre happily welcomed!!

imagining SANZU stopping you from picking your skin [lips, cuticles, scabs, acne] by intwining your hands w his. [he also paints your nails matching colors bc nail polish has a gross taste <3] he always always ends up starting a squeezing competition w you, crushing your fingers together softly but never enough to actually hurt you. ends up giving your nose a lil kiss after ):

MAMMON gives you a full body shake lmao like grabbing your arms n shaking you until you giggle. nd he wont stop until youre laughing either!! stressed, sad, angry - he will wiggle you until youre laughing. nd he welcomes you to do the same! any time he looks /: hes silently begging you to shake him about until hes smiling again

thinking of CONNOR nd his led light swirling yellow as he blinks furiously, information flooding into his head. you always copy his blinks unconsciously, scrunching your nose as he finishes. nd he copies the scrunch you do before gently squeezing your nose between two knuckles

——♥︎——

this was v self indulgent but (: hope someone else's mood raises bc of it!!

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

[yaut-jaknowit]

He Who Shows His Real Side

Pairing: We'ar-ow (Female Yautja) x GN!Reader

Word Count: 4003

Summary: After searching, We'ar-ow cannot find who has attacked you. Without any evidence of the attacker, he finally reveals himself smugly. He belittles the Monarch, saying he bested her. Nearly going ballistic, Reader calms We'ar-ow with a touch. We'ar-ow doesn't allow him to make a fool of her.

Author Note: Now comes the time we have learned of who this mysterious attacker is. I know I don't respond to everyone's comment but I greatly appreciate all of your kind and amazing words to me! They mean the world to me and help me stay motivated as well!

Masterlist

Ao3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 |

Besides your form pressed the tense body of We’ar-ow, you timidly laid a hand on her thigh. The massive Yautja didn’t jolt at the touch. Instead, her own hand engulfed yours and cradled it. No words were needed in the moment. You wanted to stay at the safety of her side. The only place you’ve found refuge while on this cursed ship that’s given you suffering in the end.

Dark bruises still painted the area of your neck, easily showing the print of someone’s large hand, attempting to take your life. You bowed your head at the thought and shuttered. Death was so close, right there. But the lights… they were your only saving grace in that moment. Or else… nothing. You would be nothing.

Tears prickled the corner of your eyes. Your hand in her palm clenched. We’ar-ow firmed her grasp and even tugged the limb up closer to her torso. An action that helped you pull away from your thoughts and glance up at her.

Her alien features have grown on you over the last year being here. The way the Yautjas looked didn’t bother you anymore. Just like any other human. She was… pretty to look out. Definitely a creature that could kill you with a single move, but she didn’t.

No, here she is. With you cradled to her side and holding your hand as she worked away at the device before her. You still hadn’t figured why she wanted you in the first place or why she still has you. Shouldn’t the novelty worn off already? Shouldn’t she already dumped you to the side?

A simple sigh passed your lips. You nuzzled deeper into her side for the comfort. You jolted when a growl vibrated almost your skin and caused the hairs on your arms to rise.

The moment you tried to pull away from her, fearful you pushed the relationship too far, We’ar-ow tugged you back. Her hand squeezing yours. “Calm, my ooman,” she spoke, tone soft and nearly sweet. “That wasn’t meant for you.” You didn’t take the growl to heart afterwards and nodded your head.

You take a chance to peek at her features again. We’ar-ow was already looking at you with her bright eyes that could find every little detail on your face. You instantly looked away to find the ground an easier sight to observe.

Pink entered your vision. Rough fingertips pinched your chin and tilted your head back towards We’ar-ow. Your eyes were wide as you looked at her again. “What is the matter, little ooman?” she asked with teasing, mocking tone in her gruff voice. Honeyed, trying to draw you in.

Hook. Your brows were pinched together and up. A look of sweet innocence on your face. Heat rushed to warm your cheeks, now frozen to only peer into her blazing gaze.

Alien but notable as a smirk graces her face. You felt small, minuscule under her gaze. Something you could tell she wanted by the look she held. She leaned in closer, well as much as her torso could allow her in the position she sat in. “Oh, little pet, you make it hard…” she trailed off and ran her thumb along the softness of your lips.

As sweet as the moment was, We’ar-ow broke it off. Her shoulders slightly sagged. She, herself, pulled away but kept her hand wrapped firmly around yours. Work is to be done. No time to get distracted.

It was hard to ignore the burning in your face or the racing of your heart that she had to hear. Yet, your heart also quivered, terrified on why you were feeling this way. You curled into yourself, still lodged against the pink Yautja’s side. A side you would have to be torn from for the time being despite the embarrassment filling your veins.

Movement roused you from a nap. We’ar-ow looked down at your lack form and tightened her mandibles. She crouched down to your level and brushed a stray lock of hair out of the way. Your eyes were still closed but fluttered at the touch. A smile gracing her face at the sight before she stood up and collected her items.

She’s delayed the start of the day long enough while mulling over the lack of information she’s been given. None of the cameras were working in the sector. Whoever disabled them was sneaky and smart, able to cover up their digital footprints and leave no trace.

From the depths of her hunters instinct, she knew it had to be Dwainet. The prick would not stay down after the embarrassing fight he endured. But he’s profession was hunter. He wasn’t part of security or knowledgeable enough to know about technology to do what had been done. We’ar-ow knew it had to be him who hurt you. Who else would care you that much to kill you. There was peace within the clan that We’ar-ow strived for since her first day as Monarch. Her only enemy would be Dwainet.

Unless he had help.

The throne didn’t offer any relief. The walls of the grand room echoed her thoughts back to her. She settled down for the day and pulled up the camera feed for her quarters. There you laid, on the comfort of the couch. Even floors away, she’ll keep a watchful, protective eye on you while doing her job as Monarch.

The device was set to the side, within sight. Only a single flick of her eyes to see the screen clearly. Her gaze was drawn away when the doors slid open and revealed the first Yautja of the day to deal with. It wasn’t the most exciting thing but it was her job. She rather be back in her quarters, holding you close and making sure her pet was safe.

Throughout the dragging hours of the day, she kept vigilance over your form. Wherever you went in her quarters, she watched and ensured your safety. No matter what room. She wouldn’t lose sight of you. The last time she let her eyes off of you, someone dared to try to take your life. We’ar-ow picks up on things swiftly, this was no different. Maybe it made her even more vigilant due to the fact you were far more fragile than what she’s used to. Glass ready to shatter if you even looked at it wrong.

When the room was cleared once more of anyone, We’ar-ow locked her gaze on the screen. On the other side, you were padding into the kitchen and sifting through the refrigerator. That reminds her to pick up some more ooman friendly foods on the way back. You were allowed to eat anything you wanted, if it was safe of course. Ooman’s eating times were different than Yautjas. We’ar-ow also picked up on the usual times your kind eats at, even with the hours difference. The snacks you also munched on between the main meals.

Though, your first few days under her care, We’ar-ow observed everything she could about you. She also scoured your ooman’s internet to find out what was normal within your society.

Now, that it’s been about two months with her, she has everything down to a T.

You plucked something from the refrigerator before spinning on your heel and finding a spot in the main room to plop down on. Though, We’ar-ow would prefer you to stay in her room, she couldn’t control what you did. Pet or not, you were your own person. Your personality wasn’t something she would take away. The fire in your eyes burning bright in her presence yet the timidity not allowing you to act out.

The soft pitter-patter of feet drew her gaze to an incoming Yautja. With a hesitate sigh, she pulled her gaze from the screen to find one of her councilmembers entering the chamber. We’ar-ow sat up higher and watched the female Yautja draw to a stop at the steps of her throne. A simple, respectful bow was given before eye contact was made.

Throughout the entire discussion, We’ar-ow continued to flicker her gaze over to the screen to check up on you. The bouncing of your knee while sitting on the couch was the first sign.

While on your tablet she gave for you entertainment, you started to chew at your nails and reading at the page. Your eyes flicked between the screen before you and to the exit of her quarters. Your fear of what was on the other side was a well known terror We’ar-ow knew about. Nearly two weeks of healing and recuperating has given her the clear details.

There were two things running through your mind right now. Either the want to have her with you again for protection or the terror of the unknown. The unknown being someone busting down the door and killing you. An action We’ar-ow would not allow to happen. You are hers after all.

In her position, she couldn’t go back and hold you close. We’ar-ow had been gone long enough and had to return to her job as Monarch. The ship couldn’t last long without a mighty fist to rein in the unruly Yautjas that would run rampant. That’s why she won all the tests thrown at her and bested all the other worthy opponents.

Yet, you needed comfort, the knowledge of her being close by, ready to defend you when the time came. This was no longer a game of chance. Now, it was of when and where. You can bet your life she’ll be there.

Forcing the video to minimize to the side, We’ar-ow pulled up a messaging system and sent a short text demanding you come to her. On the camera, you had jumped at the minute ding from the device before sagging at the message.

From the pits of her stomach, she hoped it was from relief.

You stood from the couch, put away the fruit you were snacking on, and stood at the door that blocked you from the rest of the ship. Out into the place full of predators. And you were the prey. In the lions den where they weren’t hungry but turning their noses up at the sight of you.

A deep breath of air not fully designed for your lungs filled them to the brim. You raised a timid hand then pressed the necessary button to open up the hatch.

Nothing came launching out at you. That was taken as a good sign. Courage brewing inside your chest. You took the needed steps to find your way to end of the hall, trying to built up the strength needed to go to We’ar-ow.

Vigilant as ever, you peered slowly around every corner before continuing. Your head was built on top of a swivel. Not only were you paying close attention to what lied ahead of you, but also behind your slinking form. Any Yautja you came across, you scampered past them, nearly on the verge of sprinting away at full speed. Anything to get you to safety of your Yautja.

It took about half the time it usually took to find yourself panting at the open throne room doors. There in her glory was the Monarch of the ship, sitting upon her throne like the royalty she was. You patted your way in and ignored the looks the random three Yautjas gave you.

Without hesitation, you climbed the stairs and ready to sit down at the feet of We’ar-ow, in your normal spot. A firm hand wrapped around your wrist and tugged into the pink body of her. You jolted the touch at first then raised a brow at her in question. A simple jerk of her head downwards had surprise boiling in your mind. Her lap.

Another tug had you following through her silent instructions. You could care less on who stood at the foot of the stairs. The warmth and protection that radiated off of her was what you needed. No one would or could hurt you within her presence. A guardian angel on a ship full of demons that despised your guts.

You wiggled into a more comfortable position for the moment. Strewn across her lap, two legs propped up one of the arm rests. Your back to the other one. All while the tablet still was clung tightly in your digits. You finally settled down.

We’ar-ow gave you a singular look after you stopped moving then returned her attention to trio at the base. This position is something you stayed in for awhile, to afraid to disturb the inner discussions of the mothership.

Now, under the watchful eye of We’ar-ow, literally in her lap, you focus on your tablet but for different reasons. Instead of studying your route for escape, the last attack only forcing your hand more, you played a few different games downloaded.

To be honest, when you found out they had digital games, that surprised you. Their culture, their entire species seems to revolve around primitive ways while working with powerful technology that allows for space travel. It’s shocking. Some of the rules and regulations of their culture don’t always make sense. But, if you want to live, you keep to those as if it was deity telling you so.

A species that actively hunts for their food while living on this massive ships that harbor at least hundreds, if not thousands of Yautjas with incredible technology. You never thought you would ever leave earth’s atmosphere, yet here you were. The farthest a human has ever gone, at least alive. Probably.

The current game of the day was raising breeding hounds… for hunting. So, not straying off their mark too much. It is enough to keep your mind stimulated without listening to droning words of Yautjas and the translator embedded to your skin.

Despite hating the fact you were out in the open, where whoever attacked you could just come and finish the job, you hoped We’ar-ow wouldn’t easily let that happen. She’s cared about you for this long. She even allows you, more like forces, to sleep in her bed with her. Not skin to skin but close enough to hear her breathing, feel her warmth, to know she’s there. Anything to chase off the terror of meeting Death for real this time.

While the day rolled along, you were content where you were perched upon. Despite knowing you should’ve been flushed with heat and wide eyed the entire time, it was the safest place for you to be.

More Yautjas began to file into the expansive room and took up the offered space as they waited for their turn. You, on the other hand, didn’t like the influx of bodies. You tensed up and watched from the corner of your eye of the growing crowd, heart beginning to thud in its bony cage. Your breath growing quicker at each passing second.

We’ar-ow only moved an arm and rested across your lap. The weight gave you a comforting feeling and grounded you back to floor of the mothership. Your heart and breath started to slow down but you didn’t dare take your eyes away from the crowd. Who knows who lies in there?

Any of those faces could’ve been the one, shrouded in darkness.

In the sea of people of varying heights and colors, out stepped a form that had you looking longing at. Memories of the past flooded you at the sight of him. Both sides of the coin; good and bad. But that’s how life was… until he threw you off to the side.

Your chin lifted up, upturning your nose at him. You did not care about him anymore, or at least that’s what your mind supplied in the moment. He was nothing but trash at your feet, groveling after the beat down he endured. We’ar-ow has given you more care and a strange type of love than you thought possible in this weird relationship between the two of you.

To him, you were a burden, nothing more than wasted space.

To her, you may be a pet, but decorated with expensive clothing and jewelry designed for you. You have your own room, though no longer used. You are fed three times a day, snacks are always provided. You have a tablet for entertainment.

This difference is staggering.

Even with your nose upturned, you kept a piercing gaze on him encase he dared to do anything. Yet, the Yautja filed into line, nonchalant and lax. His eyes never met yours, but you knew he knew you were there, on We’ar-ow’s lap. Your hand finds We’ar-ow’s and clamp your hand on it. To keep you grounded in reality and knowledge of your safety.

She gave you a subtle squeeze back. “Dwainet step forward. Do not hide,” We’ar-ow demanded, voice booming in the chambers and echoing back at everyone.

Dwainet snorted and made his way to the edge of the steps where he stopped. As a male, he was already short but with the steps, he was forced to tilt his head up to peered at the two of you. A position that exposed his throat any incoming attacks.

“Hide? You act like I have something to hide,” he snarked. Gone was the scared, shamed male of the past. Now, stood a male who thought himself as top of the food chain. You gripped her hand tighter.

The powerful thighs of the pink Yautja twitched under you. For a fleeting moment, they tensed but instantly relaxed. “State your business then scamper off like the dishonorable male that you are,” she snapped back and pulled on her full Monarch façade. She looked down at him over the bridge of her inner mouth and mandibles.

Those words didn’t discourage him. Instead, a full smirk grew on his face. He crossed his arms. We’ar-ow growled deep in her chest and sent vibrations crawling across your skin.

He cocked his head to the side all the while still looking up at her. “I heard about that attack on your pet’s life. Such a shame that the big powerful Monarch couldn’t protect something so feeble.” You inwardly flinch at his words. Your brows burrowing down with hurt etched into your features.

How could someone you once loved say such nasty words?

We’ar-ow was ready to launch out of her throne and give the punk another beat down of his life by the way she held herself. You peered up at her cracking stoic façade. Something had to be done.

Your hand shifted from gripping the side of her palm to intertwining your fingers together. The pride that flooded your veins when she relaxed back into her seat was astonishing. It nearly gave you the power to march down these steps and gut Dwainet like the coward he was.

“My pet is free to roam the halls of my ship. There is no need for constant vigilance.” Roaming is something you wouldn’t do, unless it is for your escape.

“You should keep a tight leash on the damn thing… or else I might get my hands on it again,” he sneered with a prideful look on his once handsome face. A face you once enjoyed looking at. Now though, he taunted We’ar-ow, as if asking for her to sign his death wish.

Her digits clutched yours threading between the open spaces of them. He could never have you again, over your dead body. “Stop playing coy. Say it!” she demanded and held onto your hand in a near crushing grip. You took the shocks of pain racing up your hand, anything to keep her from leaping up and tearing the male apart. You’ve never… seen her so riled up and easily showing her cards.

The calm and collected Yautja wasn’t what you saw now.

He turned his head to look the Yautja straight in the eye. “I attacked your pet. I want it dead.”

Your lips parted. The only thing you could do in spilt second given to you was stare at him, tears welling up in your eyes. You thought he was talking about the day had abandoned you at first… but Dwainet had attempted to take your life. The person you shared a bed with, your body with, your love with.

Like the hammer of gun being released, We’ar-ow coiled her muscles to launch herself at the Yautja who just admitted to the crime. You were the safety. You reached up instantly and place a palm against her chest as if you, a feeble thing, could hold back a raging female.

She stopped.

She settled fully into her chair and took a breath. “You attacked another’s pet? That is a crime. You are continuously racking up charges. Are you wanting to be exiled, marked as a Bad Blood?” We’ar-ow turned to her more logical side rather than acting out on impulse.

The pet status, though the lowest thing in the clan, still offered your protection from any harm. Unless those who would want to be marked as a Bad Blood. You are to have read up on some things about the inner workings of a Yautja clan.

Despite being told of his crimes and a punishment worse than death, Dwainet doesn’t falter. He only peeks behind him and jerks his head up to the two of you.

From the crowd, thirteen Yautjas step out of the line and stand behind Dwainet, siding with him. “We have grown weary of this, Monarch,” he spat out the words with disgust. “You were once thought to be what we needed after the last reign. But you’ve grown soft, weak with this ooman around. If an ooman can cause our leader, our guiding hand to falter like this, we seek out a new Monarch. One who won’t take such things as pets.”

A cold terror flooded your veins, freezing you from the inside out. The thing he was implying had you terrified of what this could mean. You only know so much about the politics of Yautjas as it can differ from clan to clan.

Was he challenging her to a fight again? Did he seriously want to die? He only survived last time because you begged We’ar-ow not to kill him.

And that seemed to come back to bite you in the butt.

“Your words mean little in the eyes of the crimes that would deem you as a Bad Blood,” We’ar-ow is quick witted to put down Dwainet. She shifted in her seat and pushed her hips out a little more, showing off a laxer posed. She was no scared of him or those who side with him. A one v. thirteen that she believed she could best.

After the throw down she gave to Dwainet, you saw her power. But even she had her limitations.

“A meeting will be called to discuss your crimes, Dwainet. You are barred from leaving this ship until your fate has been decided. Your days numbered. Count them.” With a flick of her hand, she dismissed the group from the chambers.

You saw the fire in Dwainet’s eyes. He had wanted a bigger reaction from her by the looks of it. With a crowd to witness an explosive reaction would’ve added fuel to his fire. What did he want from this? What was his goal in the end?

The male you once loved snarled his annoyance before spinning on his heel and pushing his way through his crowd. They followed him, quieter about their leave. An air of unsure left in their wake.

Everyone else who wasn’t part of the revolution, began to murmur to each other before We’ar-ow ordered for the next to step up. As if nothing had occurred, the pink Yautja returned to work. You, on the other hand, fretted over what this could mean for the two of you and your safety and security on this ship.

Once believing you were safe, you questioned it all.

You had to get off this ship.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 |

[megamindsecretlair]

Burn For You

Pairing: Franklin Saint x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, kissing, smut. PIV, oral (fem and male receiving), fingering (female receiving).

Summary: Coming back to LA from college was like coming back to an alternate universe. So many part of the hood were equally familiar and completely foreign to you. However, the one thing that hadn't changed much is Franklin Saint. Or so you thought. He walks with a cane now and is no longer the sweet boy you've nursed a crush on your whole life. After spending a day with him, you invite him back to your house after a few confessions leaves you hungry for him.

Word Count: 7,145k

AO3 Link

A/N: I....did not think this would turn out so long LOL. This is a very sweet ask from @kaaliyahsierra, thank you for trusting me with this, lovely! Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers!

Taglist: @planetblaque @notapradagurl7 @miyuhpapayuh @henneseyhoe @blackerthings @wide-nose-and-wonderful @sevikasblackgf @slippinninque @babybratzmaraj @browngirldominion @thecookiebratz @we-outsiiiide @kindofaintrovert @theunsweetenedtruth @theyscreamsannii @kaaliyahsierra @pinkpantheris @blackelysian @sugrcookiiee @hihellogoodbyebruh @softimgyu @neawarren @harmshake @iv0rysoap @ciaqui @amethyst09 @nworbaij @nerdieforpedro @judymfmoody @multiversefanfics

Damn, the neighborhood had really changed. As you drove through the old haunts of Compton, you looked around at the busted places, plazas full of thugs, homeless on every corner. And it seemed like the gangs had increased their activity. There was a boy on every corner.

Coming back from college, this almost felt like a nightmare. Like you stepped off of a crazy Scooby Doo type of town. Where everything and nothing felt familiar. Was this the cost of leaving? Not feeling you belong anymore?

“Girl, cheer up! It’s not all bad,” your friend, Tucky, said. You may have mentioned how shocked you were once or four times. 

She proceeded to tell you all the ways that LA was still the same. There were still bad little kids scrambling to get home before the streetlights came on. There were still cop cars and helicopters lulling people to sleep. There were still the hot ass summers.

You put on a brave face and nodded. You didn’t want to spend your last few weeks here being miserable or grumpy. You came to unwind a bit from college before starting your job at the bank. It wasn’t the first thing you wanted to do, but it paid well enough and you were inside a building all day. Even during hot summers.

Tucky drove to your parents’ house and you couldn’t help looking at all the different ways drugs, crime, and poverty was slowly melting LA right before your eyes. You could only shake your head at it. 

Tucky pulled into your driveway and helped with your bags. Inevitably, your eyes searched across the street for Franklin Saint. Having grown up in the neighborhood, you used to run with him and the crew. You used to chase each other around the lawns, rode bikes, got into all kinds of trouble as kids. 

Franklin was the first to go away to college. He set the bar for everyone, but not everyone was able to meet it. Melody was set to go as well, just like you, but you never learned why she didn’t.

It was silly to look for Franklin. The odds that he was still living at home with his mom were slim. It was just that…well…you still carried a torch for him. A huge one. So huge it felt like it would crush you most days. He was the measuring stick by which you judged every guy at college.

Eventually, you stopped trying and learned to like the guys around you. At every corner, they fell short. They weren’t tall enough, broad enough, dark enough, smart enough, or funny enough. You ended up losing your virginity to one of them. Bad experience all around. You thought that it’d be magical or heavenly like all those books you read or shows you watched. 

It was nothing but a disappointing seven minutes. You vowed never to try again unless you were absolutely certain about the guy. And it never happened. Because none of them were Franklin.

As you were lost staring at his front door, Franklin emerged from his house. He limped with a cane and you lurched forward as if you could do something about it. Why did he have a cane? He was too damn young for a cane.

He still looked good though. He wore a wine colored polo shirt buttoned to the top, dark jeans, and sneakers. From where you could see him, it looked like his hair grew out as well. He walked with the surety of being mature. Gone was the sweet boy who you used to make up excuses to go see at Cho’s. 

Tucky came out of your house. You turned to her. “What the hell is Franklin doing with a cane?” You asked.

Tucky looked across the street at Franklin, who stood in his doorway talking to his mom, Cissy. “We didn’t know if we should tell you…Melody shot Franklin,” Tucky said. 

“She what?” You practically screamed.

Melody shot Franklin? Too many questions ran through your mind. That girl was as in love with Franklin as you were. What the hell could have happened in four years? And why the hell didn’t your friends tell you anything? Not even your parents?

That seemed like pretty huge fucking news to not share with somebody. Tucky knew how long you carried the torch for Franklin. She knew that you felt horrible liking the same man as Melody. How crushed you were when it seemed like he was more into her and not you. How could she not tell you?

“You were off at college and we all kinda promised to let you enjoy it. What good would it have done to tell you he got shot? You would’ve just run back here,” Tucky said.

“That was my decision to make,” you said.

“No, it wasn’t. You have a chance to get out of this shit. Not everyone does. So no, it wasn’t up to you to decide to let the hood drag you back into this shit. The first chance you get, move out of the neighborhood and don’t come back.” Tucky grabbed your last bag from the car and took off inside your house.

You rubbed your head. All these conflicting emotions were giving you a headache. The hot LA sun beat down on you with the briefest glimpse at a breeze. You looked once more to Franklin’s house. He was facing you and then he waved.

You gasped. You didn’t actually think he’d see you though you made no move to hide. You waved back. Franklin kissed Cissy on the cheek and then limped down the steps. You thought he was going to head to his car out front, but he continued past it. Crossing the street.

Your heartbeat sped up. Your lips trembled. You weren’t expecting to talk to him right now. You had no idea what your breath smelled like or how you looked. You wore petal pushers, a yellow tank, and flip flops. Not exactly queen of sexy at the moment. There was nothing for it as Franklin got closer.

“What are you doing back here?” Franklin asked. He approached you and then swallowed you up into a big, deep hug. The kind that made you melt against him, like he was soaking up every negative thought you had. 

“All done with college,” you said with a grin. 

“Four years went by that fast? Damn,” he said. He got a faraway look in his eye before he smiled at you. 

“College did good for you?” He asked.

You shrugged. “Wasn’t without some problems. I sure missed everyone here though,” you said. 

“Everyone?” He asked.

You rolled your eyes and fought a smile. Franklin was the only one who could put you back at ease. Like four years was just a thought in your head. You were transported back to the good old days of high school. Franklin, still young and sweet, the gang together. You did hear about Kevin’s passing though. It had been too hard to make it back home to see everyone. You were still reeling from the fact that Tucky kept so much from you.

“Yes, that includes you Franklin Saint,” you said.

Franklin chuckled. “You know, to this day, you’re the only one who calls me by my full government name,” he said. 

“It’s a good strong name. Why not use the whole thing?” You asked.

“‘Cause I’m not in trouble,” he said. 

You crossed your arms and leaned on Tucky’s car. The afternoon sun already made it hot to the touch, so you could feel the heat through your pants. Still, you leaned on it and looked at Franklin. “I’m happy I ran into you,” you told him. 

“Me too. Glad I got to see you. How ya been?” He asked.

You caught him up on nonsense about what you studied at school, the friends you made, and the food you tried. Tucky came outside while you were in the middle of talking. She said hi to Franklin and told you that her mom paged her, she needed to get back to watch her siblings.

“I thought we had all day to hang out together,” you said.

Tucky rolled her eyes. “I did too. My brother was supposed to watch them but Mama said she don’t trust him as far as she can throw him. I’ll try to get over tomorrow. It depends if she work a double shift,” Tucky said. She hugged you bye and then waved to Franklin. She got in the car so you moved onto your front lawn to let her pass.

She drove down the street, leaving you without anything to do today. Your parents were on a mini vacation up to Santa Barbara at the moment. Just you and the house for a few days before they got back. What the hell were you going to do now?

“You hungry?” Franklin asked.

“Huh?” You heard what he said, you just needed a moment for your mind to process it. He repeated his question and you nodded. 

“Yeah, I can eat,” you said. You were hungry enough to eat a fuckin’ cow. Between the flight into LAX, cruising around with Tucky, and everything she revealed, you were starving. You had wanted to stop at In and Out, but Tucky wanted to unload your stuff first. Too many instances of people getting robbed in broad daylight.

“Lock up the house, I’ll take you to get some Fatburger,” he said. 

“Are you sure? You don’t have anything to do today?” You asked. 

Franklin smiled. “Not anymore,” he said. 

You walked backwards from him with your hands in your pockets so he wouldn’t see how fucking giddy you were. That you got to spend some time with Franklin Saint. Alone. None of the crew with you. 

You’d been alone with him before throughout the years. Times where everyone else split but you two lived close to each other so you could linger a bit longer. Melody, with her cop dad, had to be home way before the streetlights came on. She usually initiated the great departure. Kevin and Leon would go next and then there was just you and Franklin.

There had been many times where it felt like it could lead to something more. But you were too chicken to say what was on your mind. To let him know that you were feeling him. And if he turned you down, at least you’d know and you’d stop guessing and torturing yourself. But then your feelings would be out there. And if he did turn you down, you’d still have to be around him after. 

You turned and went to get your purse, making sure your wallet was inside. You locked up the house and then walked with Franklin to his car. He was able to move pretty well with the cane. You wondered about the shooting and his recovery, wondered how he felt getting shot by the one girl you swore would end up with Franklin. 

He opened the passenger side for you and you smiled at him as you got in. He limped to the front seat, getting in, and then peeling away from the curb. He was a careful driver, following all of the laws and not speeding too much. It was LA. Everyone sped. And those who didn’t were tourists and people who just moved here.

You talked about nothing important, asking Franklin what he’d been up to since you last seen him. He was vague about his work, but mentioned that he was trying to get into real estate. That was what he and his mom were trying to do together, but it was slow going because of people like her old boss. 

Making it to Fatburger, Franklin got out of the car first. He told you not to move while he came around and opened the door for you. “You don’t have to do that, Franklin Saint,” you told him.

“I want to do it.” He smiled and took your hand. You must have gotten off in an alternate LA. An alternate universe. One in which you were holding hands with Franklin Saint and he was about to buy you a burger. 

You ordered and while you waited for the food, you pestered him with questions. “I guess I never thought you’d go into real estate like your mom,” you said.

He shrugged. “All these investors and white dudes come into our hoods to make money off of our backs. They leave the places like shitholes and then get mad when people want something better. If they can do it, I can do it better,” he said. 

You smiled. If nothing else, at least that same fire in him never went out. “My mom and I own an apartment block not too far from here actually,” he said.

“Wait, really? What’s the rent like?” You asked.

“You trynna move out already? You just got back,” he said.

Your orders were called so Franklin grabbed them. You made your way back to his car, leaning on the hood while you dug into your burger. You moaned at the first taste of it. What you loved about Fatburger was that it tasted just like someone whipped it up in your kitchen. A hood staple. Nothing fancy about it.

“I had four years without my parents down my back about everything. There’s no way I can stay in that house for too long,” you said.

“I can show you one of the empty units if you want,” he said. 

“Yes! Please,” you said. It’d be a bit awkward paying Franklin and his mom for a place to stay. But fuck. Anything had to be better than being back under your parents’ roof. They were sweet, truly, but even while away at college, they refused to see you as an adult. You needed out, as soon as possible. 

You fell into a comfortable silence as you ate your food. The sun was finally starting to lose some of its heat. Honking cars, slamming brakes, and helicopters made for a chaotic song in the background as you looked around. 

Finished with your food, you threw out everything in the nearest trash can. When you approached Franklin again, he caught you about the waist and pulled you closer.

“Stay out with me,” he said.

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. This was so surreal. And unfortunately, you weren’t cool enough to go with the flow. “Franklin Saint, what are you doing?” You asked.

“I really did miss you,” he said. 

You licked your lips. If only this man knew…knew about the many times you spent awake, dreaming about him. Wondering about him. Daydreaming about him. He had no idea. 

“But this…” you said, letting the sentence dangle. You were still too nervous to be out with it. To go on and say what you meant. 

Franklin chuckled and gripped your hips a little tighter. He interlocked his fingers behind your back. “A lot has changed. A lot of bad shit. I got some scars. Thank you for not asking about the cane, by the way.”

You smiled. You did want to ask about it, but Franklin was entitled to tell you about it or not. Tucky was wrong. People were responsible for their own informed decisions. You didn’t have a right to demand information from Franklin. 

“But what’s never changed was how I felt about you,” he said. He looked at you while he said. Everything in you told you to believe it. To cherish it. To hold it in your heart and never let it go.

“Stop playing,” you told him, laughing to diffuse the sudden too tense situation. You tried pulling out of his arms, but he held on tight. 

“I’ve done a lot of shit. Regretted a lot. One of my biggest regrets was never telling you how I felt in high school,” he said.

Your lips parted on a quiet gasp. “In high school? You were on Melody,” you said. 

He winced as you said her name. You wondered about which memories those conjured up for him. You may not feel right asking him, but you would definitely ask Tucky the next time you hung out with her. You had been too out of the loop. 

“I liked you. But it never seemed like you liked me back and I was too nervous to ask. When you left for college…all I could think was that I should’ve kissed you,” he said. 

Today was a day for revelations it seemed. You stared, open mouthed at Franklin. Your head emptied of every thought except that…Franklin Saint liked you back. Been liking you since high school. And he was the nervous one? He was the one that wasn’t sure about your feelings? 

“Franklin Saint…I’ve had a crush on you since we first met,” you told him. 

“You have?” Franklin asked. He smiled. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” 

You shrugged. You licked your lips, so dry in the face of everything you kept locked down for years. Practically a decade at this point. You rehearsed what you would ever say to Franklin if you had the chance. That rehearsal did nothing for you at the moment since you couldn’t remember a single sentence. 

“It felt like you were more into Mel. She was my friend too and I saw the way she looked at you…” 

There were plenty of times that you caught them looking at each other when they thought everyone else weren’t looking. You thought they would have ended up together by now. Mel on her first kid at least. 

Hearing that she was the one to shoot him was still odd to you. There was so much you were missing.

“I did like Mel. I won’t lie and say that I didn’t. But I think Mel was safer,” he said. 

You looked up at him. Night was fast approaching. The lot lights were starting to come on, bathing Franklin in a pale glow. His eyes darkened in the shadow of the light but this up close, you could see him. Really see him. 

“Mel lived right next door. She had a cop for a dad. I knew who she was inside and out. Or I did,” he said. “But you…you scared me.”

“I scared you?” 

Franklin nodded. “You’ve always been special. Always saw the world better than I ever did. I thought if I told you, if I kept you here selfishly…I’d never forgive myself,” he said. 

“Think mighty high of yourself to think I would stay home from college for you,” you said. You smirked to let him know that you were teasing. But only a little. You probably would have found a college closer to home if it meant that you got to be with Franklin Saint. 

Your feelings weren’t one sided. All these years. Wasted. Gone. All the nights spent dreaming about a life with Franklin. Those could have been nights spent on the phone talking to him. 

“Not that. You deserved to live your life without worrying about me. Or anyone from the neighborhood,” he said with a smile. That damn smile. No matter what he did, he always had the same smile. The kind that warmed you down to your toes. 

“What about what I wanted? You don’t know what I would’ve done had you told me sooner,” you said. 

Franklin nodded. “I’ll live with that. At least you went to college guilt free,” he said. 

You sighed and leaned your head on his chest. You breathed in his beautiful clean scent. Felt his strong arms around you. His long legs pressed against yours. This. This was your dream. To be wrapped up in his arms and forgot the world existed. 

You pulled back and looked at him. “Take me home?” You asked, a shy smile on your face. This was the boldest thing you’d ever done in your life. Your stomach rebelled, screaming that this was too much for you.

But it wasn’t. He would make sure of that. Franklin Saint was always goofy, kind, and sweet. Four years and whatever went down for him couldn’t change that completely. Couldn’t change him. 

“Are you sure? I’m not pressuring you into anything, I swear,” he said. 

You placed a hand over his heart to calm him down. “I’m very sure,” you said. You hoped you sounded calm. This was what you had been dreaming about as soon as you were old enough to recognize that he was a very attractive boy and made your stomach feel funny. You dreamed about kissing him, getting naked with him, and feeling him move inside of you. 

It was so close for the taking. All you had to do was reach out. And be honest. Speak up for once in your damn life and grab what you want instead of waiting for divine intervention. Like you were going to trip and land on his dick somehow. No. You wanted him. And you wanted him now.

“If anything, it feels like I’m pressuring you.” 

Franklin smiled and then leaned down to press his lips against yours. It was nothing like what you imagined. It was so much better. His lips were soft, but forceful as he took control and kissed you like two lovers reunited after decades apart. 

He stole the breath from your lungs as he swept his tongue inside, exploring your mouth. He sucked on your bottom lip, awakening an ache deep in your lower belly. You sighed and gasped against his mouth, loving the expert way he kissed. He Kissed, with a capital K. The kind that turned you into a giant puddle. 

His hands migrated from your lower back to your ass, cupping it in his big hands. You moaned against his mouth, a little embarrassed to make such a sound. Franklin didn’t miss a beat, continuing to kiss your socks off. Well, if you were wearing any.

He pulled back slowly. Both of you were out of breath. You blinked a few times, clearing the lusty daze, before looking into his eyes. “You still sure? You can say no,” he said.

You smiled and pecked him on the lips. “Franklin Saint, take me home now,” you said. 

Franklin chuckled and released you. You shivered from the onset of a chill in the air. It was still muggy out, hot enough to know you won’t get any type of cool relief tonight from a fan. Franklin opened your door first and then got into the driver’s seat.

He grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it, before pulling out of the gravel parking lot and headed back to Compton. This type of night, right after rush hour, it didn’t take long to make it back to your house.

Franklin pulled into the driveway and opened your door. You climbed out with a goofy grin on your face. Both of you had been too excited to do much talking. Your hand had been on his thigh the entire ride home. 

Franklin told you about all the ways he knew that he liked you. Like in high school, you wore a specific pair of pants that really made your ass stand out. Or when you’d call him by his full name and he felt it in his chest. The way he’d get excited to see you at any function you all hung out together.

You told him about all the times he’d been sweet to you. When you would work on the same project for school or he’d walk you and Mel home. You were across the street so he’d drop you off first and you had to stare out of the window while he walked Mel home. You didn’t tell him that part. But you did tell him that you always hoped he’d ask you to one of the school dances until you learned that he wasn’t much for dancing. 

Now that you were at your place, you were completely turned on. Desire rippled through you like waves of heat off of asphalt. The crush that you lovingly tended to these long years burst free. Now, you were just desperate to get him underneath you. Or on top of you. You’d take him any way he wanted to give it to you.

Franklin kept up with you as you went up to your front door and unlocked it. Tucky dumped your things unceremoniously in the living room. You turned on the light with a giggle, moving things out of the way so that you could pass through without falling on anything.

Franklin chuckled with you, closing and locking the door behind you. He looked too inviting standing in the doorway of your house. He’d been inside before, everybody in the group had, but that was different.

Now, you were both adults. Now you were about to do adult things in your house. Your mom would clutch her pearls if she ever knew. 

You smiled at Franklin. He smiled back. He limped closer, somehow making that sexy as well. He looked more distinguished than broken. Like the cane was a prop. A way to make people think he was weak when he wasn’t. 

He took your hand and led you to your bedroom, knowing the way from memory alone. He didn’t turn on any more lights until he got to your room. Thank god you took down anything embarrassing from your childhood days. Now, the walls were a bit bland since you took down some posters. 

You had planned on replacing it, but you didn’t spend long summers back home. You ended up finding a part time job in college, something to give you some spending money while your parents helped with school as best as they were able. 

Franklin closed your door and then led you by the hand to your bed. He smiled as he pushed you to sit down. He leaned his cane against the corner of your bed and then moved to kneel. 

“You don’t have to–”

“Don’t worry ‘bout me,” Franklin said. He grimaced but knelt down, moving in between your legs. Now, you were looking down at him slightly. He pulled you into a sweet, burning kiss that warmed you from the inside out.

As you kissed, his hands began exploring under your shirt. He found the edges and slowly lifted your shirt, warm fingers touching your cold skin. You shivered from the heat of him. The taste of him. You could get drunk from his kisses alone.

There was only the sound of your kissing and breathing, the window closed to the outside world. You were the only two people in existence at the moment. The only two who mattered. You felt like pinching yourself. Never, never, ever in your wildest dreams did you think that you’d be here with Franklin Saint.

You kissed for hours, or it could have been minutes, before Franklin pushed your shirt up and off. His calloused thumbs flicked over your sensitive nipples and you moaned. “Fuck, that feels so good,” you said.

“You feel so good,” Franklin said. He moved his lips down the side of your jaw, down your neck, and to your chest. He took one nipple into his mouth, suckling it to the point of pain. That pain morphed into something dangerously delicious in your lower belly, pooling desire in your panties. 

You leaned back on your bed, giving him more access to your chest. His other hand continued to roll your other nipple between his fingers, giving you too much stimulation at once. You were squirming, fidgeting, moaning with pleasure. This was how your first time should have been. It should have been with Franklin Saint.

Franklin switched nipples, giving the other the same attention he lavished on the first. Cool air in the room hit the first nipple, making it bead up. You needed some friction. You rubbed your legs against his chest, needing him way closer than what he was. 

Franklin looked up at you from suckling on your nipple. “What you need?” He asked.

“You. I need you,” you cried. 

Franklin leaned back from suckling on you and you cried from the lack of contact. He pulled his polo shirt over his head, tossing it onto the ground to join yours. Your eyes looked over his wonderful body. The dark, smooth skin of his chest. The powerful, ripped arms. Franklin was still skinny, but he seemed to have lost the vestiges of boyhood. He was a man, through and through. Lean, honed, and sculpted.

He kissed down your belly. You giggled as he found a few ticklish spots. You ought to feel embarrassed. After all, this was Franklin Saint. The same boy who saw you get sick after eating too much ice cream when you were younger.

But this felt too right. Too destined. Like you were always on a collision course with him and it was only a matter of time before you ended up in this exact position. At the mercy of his loving hands and heavenly mouth. 

He moved to undo your pants and he helped you wiggle out of them. You had to lay back and lift your hips in order to get everything off. Franklin grabbed your knees and gently pulled your legs back open, getting a good, long look at your glistening pussy.

Fuck, you felt yourself getting wetter just from seeing the way his eyes got bigger. Like he was a starving man staring down a feast fit for a king. He bit his lip as he trailed a finger through your wetness. You hissed. That contact alone was enough to send you through the roof.

You watched his face as his fingers explored your pussy. Nudging your pussy lips apart, he gathered up enough of your essence to soak his finger. Then he pushed his finger inside of you. You gasped, leaning back on your hands to keep you from just falling back and losing your marbles.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he breathed. 

“More, Franklin Saint. Please,” you moaned.

Franklin continued to go slow, moving his eyes from your pussy and to your eyes. He smirked as he fingered you, getting you so wet you were dizzy with arousal. Your skin sizzled. You panted, eyes starting to cross. Just when you thought you were going to go over the edge, Franklin slowed his finger. 

You groaned, looking down at him. He smirked as he withdrew his finger altogether. You pouted, ready to complain when he painted your nipples with your essence. He stared at you while he leaned up on his knees and suckled your titties back into his mouth. He alternated between the two.

“Oh fuck,” you moaned. You brought one of your hands to the back of his neck, pushing him down onto your nipple. He chuckled and used his free hand to play with your clit. You jerked, moaning in your room without abandon. You were free to be as loud as you wanted. 

You wanted him to hear you. To hear how well he was treating you. Because if you had your say, you would do this every night. Open yourself to him as often as you wanted. It was more than sexual. You knew this man inside and out. You knew his quirks, his habits. Why he smiled or why he smirked. You knew what made him sad and what made him happy. You knew which foods he liked and which sweets made him grin like a kid. You knew him on a deep level and it was enough to make you tear up. 

Franklin licked the last of your arousal from your nipples and pulled his finger back out of you. He brought his wet finger up to your lips. “Suck,” he commanded.

You opened your mouth and sucked on his finger. It was so filthy, it made your pussy clench. You never thought much about tasting yourself. But when he demanded, you jumped to obey. You moaned around his finger, swirling your tongue like you wanted to do around his dick. 

As if he sensed the direction of your thoughts, his eyes narrowed and a sexy grin spread across his face. He winked at you before pulling you into a sweet kiss. You sighed, melting into him. 

“Lay down,” he said.

You did as you were told, laying on your back completely and getting comfortable. Franklin shifted on the floor, grunting a bit. You felt guilty for him being on his knees for so long, but he made no indication that he was in serious pain. And you didn’t want to ruin this moment by babying him.

He hooked his arms under your knees and yanked you closer to the edge of the bed. You yelped and giggled in response. “I could have moved,” you told him.

“I would have asked,” he said.

You giggled some more, lifting your head to look at him. You gave him a look and all he did was wink once more. He kissed your thighs, looking at you while you did so. Everywhere his lips touched, your thighs tingled. You licked your lips, watching his sexy display before you.

The way his fingers pushed into your plushy thighs. The way he alternated nibbling and kissing your legs, moving closer and closer to the wet center of you. You rolled your hips as he finally put his face where you needed him most.

You were close, you could feel it. You just needed his lips on you. Everywhere on you. Franklin blew a cool breath of air across your heated core and you moaned. He dropped his head and began to lick you.

“Fuck, fuck,” you moaned. You weren’t prepared for how well his mouth would feel on you. Suckling and licking on your clit. Your hand flew to his mini afro, pulling at him like a wild animal. You made all kinds of guttural, primal noises as he seemed to sense exactly what you needed.

He listened to every sigh you made, every moan you uttered. He paid attention to when you got quiet and when you were screeching with pleasure. Incoherent words fell from your lips as he ate you out. 

“Taste so fuckin’ good, baby,” he moaned into you. 

He brought one hand up to cup your titty. Your hand found his and you interlocked your fingers. Whether it was that extra connection or the slow way he teased your clit, you were finally screaming through an orgasm. Light and fire exploded behind your eyelids as you came, so consumed by the raging inferno that you couldn’t see or hear anything. Your mind was lost to the intense pleasure you received from Franklin. 

Your hand clutched his as you came and came, waves upon waves of fire licking up your body. You released his hand in increments, slowly returning to your body. Pools of sweat gathered in your chest, neck, and back. Your heart was beating a thousand miles per minute. 

Franklin moaned as he dragged his lips away from your pussy. You made an entire mess on your bed, but fuck it. Well fucking worth it.

Franklin climbed to his feet, hovering over you with a self-satisfied smirk. “You good?” He asked.

“So, so good,” you said and grinned. You got up slowly from your bed, standing up and stepping close to him. He lifted his eyebrow at you.

You smirked at him as you undid his belt and pulled his pants down. You dropped down to your knees, staring into his dark, beautiful eyes as you did so. He grinned. 

“And I thought there could be nothin’ sexier than that ass,” he said.

You giggled. His dick was hard and thick in all the right places. You palmed him. He was so smooth and hard as steel. It amazed you. The feeling of him. You explored his balls as well, so heavy already. It made you ache just thinking of him filling you up. Just a fantasy though, you did not want babies.

You pushed for him to sit and then you scooted in between his legs. You took him into your mouth and Franklin hissed, his hand coming around your neck. He didn’t stop you, so you started to work on him, swirling your tongue around his thick tip.

He moaned, throwing his head back as you sucked his dick, tasting beads of precum as it leaked into your mouth. You played with his balls as well, using your hands to grip the base of his shaft. You let some saliva drip out of your mouth so that you could coat his dick and make it easier to slide your hands.

Every dirty thought or fantasy poured out of you, sucking him exactly as you had in your mind over the years. Every which way you thought to take him, you did. Bobbing your head up and down or massaging his balls just right. You hoped this would lead to more, but if it didn’t, you wanted to give him a night he wouldn’t forget. A night you would always remember over and over again.

“Fuck, baby,” Franklin moaned. You tried to pay attention to his words and actions like he did for you. But this blow job was more about you. You didn’t think you were one for sucking someone off like this, but fuck. Sucking Franklin Saint off did something to you. Turned you feral. 

You slurped his dick, lewd sucking noises filling the room and mixed with his soft pleas and curses. He shifted his hips, moving them so that he was meeting your strokes in the middle. You sucked him down further, trying to fit more into your mouth without gagging. 

“I’m gonna cum,” he moaned. You kept going. The goal was to make him cum. To make him feel good. To find pleasure in your mouth like you found with his mouth on you. He tried tapping your shoulder but you only continued, looking up into his eyes with a silent dare.

You wanted him to cum in your mouth. He looked at you and cursed as his dick twitched and released hot pulses of cum. You swallowed him down as he continued to release a thick load into your mouth. 

He cursed again and again as you swallowed each and every drop. Franklin fell back onto the bed with a sigh and you slowly released his dick. He twitched, sensitive from a powerful orgasm. 

You climbed onto the bed, snuggling into him. He panted and huffed. “Stole my damn soul,” he said in between breaths. “Give it back.”

You laughed, loudly, at his corny ass. “No refunds,” you told him and kissed his cheek. He turned his head and kissed you, tongue exploring your mouth. You sucked on his bottom lip and he groaned. 

The kiss grew more passionate. Like you were both starving for each other and one hit wasn’t enough. He moved to climb on top of you but hissed with pain instead of desire. You broke the kiss and then pushed him until he was at the head of the bed, cushioned by your pillows.

You climbed off of the bed, finding his pants, his wallet, and then pulling out a condom. You opened the foil package, rolling it into his hardened dick. And that was just from kissing you. You grinned at him as you rolled it on, all the way down to the base. Then you pinched the top to give him some room. 

You climbed onto the bed while he watched you with a soft look on his face. You blew him a kiss as you climbed onto him, trying not to hurt him.

“You won’t hurt me,” he said.

“I just want to make you feel good,” you said. And it was so true. So deeply true that you just wanted to make him happy. Make him feel nothing but peace in your presence. Make it worth taking a chance on you.

You lifted off of the bed and then guided him inside of your body. It took a few tries but you finally got him lined up just right. He helped steady you as you sunk down onto his dick. You both shared a moan. 

Fuck. He felt so good stretching you that you closed your eyes and savored the feeling. The raw feeling of him inside of you and beneath you. His strong hands around your waist and back, steadying you. 

You weren’t always good on top, but you made the effort to last as long as possible. You stayed on your knees, not athletic enough to properly bounce on his dick. You did your best though, moving so that you weren’t grinding on him, you were genuinely riding him. 

You watched Franklin’s face, the drops of sweat sliding down the smooth planes of his face. He looked so damn good. From his hair to the goatee on his face. You planted your hands on his thighs, leaning back a bit and took him in deeper at this angle. You continued to bounce and moan, titties flying everywhere.

Franklin quickly solved that, grabbing your titties in his hands and leaning forward to suckle on your nipples while you rode him.

“Feel so good, so good,” you moaned.

“Fuck, ride me so well,” Franklin moaned.

Your nails dug into his bare shoulders as you continued to chase the orgasm that was just out of reach. You felt it, getting closer and closer, making your body turn to mush with desire. You clutched Franklin to you as the orgasm finally rippled through you. 

A few pumps later, Franklin joined you, roaring out his pleasure as you felt him twitch and jerk inside of you. Your body bowed as his twitching touched a deep part of you. You moaned and collapsed on top of him. 

You panted a few times then tried to move, not wanting to crush the poor man. But Franklin tightened his hold on you, bringing his arms to wrap around you.

“Stay just like this,” he whispered softly.

“Franklin Saint,” you muttered, smiling against his damp skin. You licked his chest and felt him shudder beneath you.

“Don’t play with me,” Franklin warned. You turned your head towards him and smiled, giving him a sweet kiss.

“Long overdo,” you said sleepily.

“Way too fuckin’ long,” he said. He kissed the top of your head. He eventually did slip out of you and took off the condom, but you were too wrapped up in each other to want to move. You stayed up until the sky brightened outside, talking and laughing with him until you both drifted off to sleep.

Whew! Need some more Franklin??? The Secret Franklin Saint Files

[cryptictongues]

To Kiss is to Hunger

pairing: Joshua Rosfield x Fem!Reader rating: Mature word count: 5.0K summary: You are terrified to kiss Joshua. Joshua has an idea to remedy that.

warnings: practice kissing, grinding, touching, intimacy, mutual pining, insecurities and self-doubt, just straight up romance

Author’s Notes: Ngl I know I said it would be a little frisky, but just so happens I made it just a little bit friskier because Joshua is just a touch starved man. Just a heads up, please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blog’s content is NSFW.

[AO3 link]

You couldn’t fathom why you are in the Shelves this late into the night. ‘It’s silly.” You think, walking around, trying to find anything to help you with your little dilemma. You tried to put your brain to rest, to calm its ravenous thoughts of anxiety, but the efforts were futile. And it is all because a teasing strawberry blond tried to kiss you.

You and the young Lord got quite close after his arrival to the Hideaway. You help out as a barmaid for Molly in the Ale House, and the first night of Joshua being out of the infirmary after the fall of Drake’s Tail had been all the talk. You would overhear conversations about how charming he was, how he was very knowledgeable about the lands of Valisthea, and how he is the brother of the leader of the Hideaway. He piqued your curiosity, as most newcomers do, but you didn’t think anything to come of it.

There was one night, however, where service wasn’t off its rig, and you had decided to take that time to practice your reading. Reading and writing are forbidden practices for Branded, and you were only able to learn reading due to old, scribbled writings thrown into the trash bins. You would rummage through for every written scrap in the dead of night and return it before your enslavers came to. To you, it was a piece to the puzzle of your freedom. But only a piece. 

You were reading an old children’s fairytale: a prince in search of the long-lost princess who searched day and night to find her. You were immersed, so much so you hadn’t noticed the presence in front of you, seemingly still but present all the same. 

“Ah, I read that story many times as a child. A true classic.”

Your head had snapped so far back you thought you would’ve fallen backwards. Your eyes jumped until they landed on the man before you, and you remember how wonderstruck you felt. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and the way he was looking at you had your stomach producing butterflies. You felt a sense of embarrassment, however, as the book you were reading was adapted for children. You knew those born with a silver spoon were highly educated, so to have someone as handsome and surely intelligent as he watching you read made you nervous to be a laughing stock. 

“Yeah, but it’s more of a watered down version of it. I’m sure I’ll get to read the original someday.” You had awkwardly explained, waiting for him to make a joke of your lack of ability to read at a level that matched your maturity. That joke, however, never came. He stayed and asked you questions, such as who your favorite character was, what your favorite part of the story was, and so on. That conversation led beyond the book, and it is a fond memory of the golden boy.

It wasn’t long after that he offered to tutor you and made an extraordinary effort to give you books about topics you liked. Hell, he would even bring books back from long expeditions that him, Clive, and Jill would go on. “I found this story about sea fairies that I thought you would like.” “I saw a merchant selling a copy of this book I think you’ll enjoy.” “This book made me think of you.”

After many nights and days passing, it had become apparent that your heart had let him in, and you were relieved to know that his heart blazed for you also. However, unlike you, he is very evident about how he shows his feelings for you. He initiated the first hand holding, the first embrace, every tender moment you both have shared has been started by him. It makes you nervous, he makes you nervous, but in a conflicting way because you want everything he has to offer, yet your life of being treated less than for so long has put in the fear of not being enough. You fear you will misstep, embarrass yourself, he will realize he can have someone better, and let you down gently. He is a gentleman, after all.

All of the insecurities and doubts you hold have led you to the shelves due to this past evening's events.

-

A gathering of many members of the Hideaway was taking place, enjoying each other’s company, exchanging stories from the road, and eating and drinking so good that spirits were at an all time high. About halfway through the evening, Joshua and Clive had returned from their mission that had kept them away for well over a week, and joined everyone in the festivities. You could feel Joshua’s eyes on you constantly as you worked, soft gazes in your direction as you brought over more ale. You hadn’t seen each other since he had left, and you could see from the look in his eyes that he wanted you close, longing for your time. 

And you weren’t the only one to sense it.

“Go on.” You heard Molly speak as you polished the cups.

“Hmmm?” You turned to see her smirking at you, nudging her head in the direction of the young Rosfield. 

“You are free of your duties. You spend some time with everyone, especially you know who.” 

You shook your head, your cheeks flushed. “I appreciate it, but Molly there is a lot to clean up. I can’t ask you to do this all by yourself.”

“Nonsense.” She scoffed, walking to you, taking the scrub and cup out of your hands, only to set them aside to grab your own. “We all deserve a little down time. Please, I insist.”

You hesitated, and her eyes softened. “In these troubling times, every moment counts; for anything can happen at any time. We must be selfish with our time.” 

That alone had set you into motion. You had walked over to sit beside him, hip to hip, his arm draped around your side with his head leaning slightly against your own as Clive shared his and his brother’s adventures. 

You could tell Joshua was more touchy than normal, not that you minded. You would feel him squeeze you from time to time. If you shifted slightly, he would adjust so you were still close to him. You would feel him turn his head to bury his face into your hair, gentle caresses of his lips against your scalp. No words were spoken between the two of you, just enjoying the night together with everyone. But even nights like these had to end. 

You called it a night, telling everyone that you were going to head to the bed chambers, but not before Joshua insisted on walking you there. The two of you had bid goodnight to the others, and with your hand in Joshua’s grasp, the two of you walked to the bed chambers, small talk between the two of you as you both headed there slowly.  

“I can’t believe you let Clive do that.” You giggled, Joshua’s story about his older brother shoving a carrot into his mouth to make him sick. 

“He had reason, for we were in an unfortunate situation. We needed a reason to slip away.” Joshua grimaced, vaguely remembering the taste of the raw carrot. “Besides, I have always had a soft spot for my brother. I’d do anything for him.”

“I know having him back in your life has been a gift.” You smiled, waving his arm back and forth as you both approached the bed chambers. He pulled your arm back gently, causing you to turn into his arms. The way he was looking at you left you speechless; a thousand words being spoken through one look. 

“Why yes, it has truly been a gift by the Founder to be reunited with my brother.” He brings your hand up to his chest, right above his heart; the thumping gingerly warming up your palm. “It has also been a gift to have the honor of being allowed your time, my lady.”

You shook your head, but before you could’ve said anything, Joshua had spoken once more. “On the topic of gifts, I have something for you.” 

He slipped his free hand into the large pouch of his belt and pulled out what you can see is a book. He placed the book in both of your hands, grazing them before allowing you to inspect it. You recognized the artistry of the book: hardbound leather, intricate gold lining, and a sturdy weight in your hand. You looked at the title and you found yourself releasing a shaky breath. 

“I thought you said there were no more copies.” You whispered, in disbelief as to what you were seeing. Enchanting thy Fair Maiden. It was a copy of a book Joshua has praised over. He would recite lines to you from what he memorized as a child, and you would ask him to retell them to you over and over again, never tiring from hearing his smooth voice telling you a tale.

“It took some bartering, but it was worth it if it means I could grant you a copy.” 

Snapping from your mind, you looked to him, shaking your head in disbelief. “Joshua, I can’t accept this. This is one of your favorite stories. You should keep it.” 

You tried pushing the book back into Joshua’s, but not before him grasping both of your hands and gently pushing it back into your vicinity. “My lady.” He begged. “I can reassure you that nothing would please me more than you accepting this gift.”

You stayed silent for a moment, a brief pause in the timeline aside from you and him, before smiling shyly, looking away from him in a flush. “I will cherish this for all days, Joshua. Maybe you can read it to me properly sometime.”

“Anything for you, dearest.” 

Your gaze stayed down, not knowing how to bid farewell for the night, before you felt Joshua’s hand lightly touch your cheek, lifting your face for him to look upon. You sensed a certain hesitancy, his eyes seeking for something on your face before landing back on your own. 

“May I try something?” 

Everything started to go slow and fast at the same time, your mind racing and hyper focusing on every detail. You focused on how much closer Joshua had gotten to you, how his body heat had your body melting tenfold, how his face leaned down to yours, his hand stroking your cheek. You realized what he was asking to do: he was asking to kiss you.

Sudden flashes of self-doubt came crashing down onto you, Joshua’s hand on your branded cheek making you feel self-conscious. What is he doing? How can he want to kiss me? Oh, Greagor be with me, I have never kissed anyone. I am going to make a fool of myself!

Out of reflex and fear, you stepped back and away from Joshua’s reach. He looked startled, not expecting your reaction, and all you could do was stare at him as you calmed your heart down. You felt embarrassment shudder down your spine, but you knew that it would have been worse if you had attempted to kiss him. 

You tried to shrug it off, chuckling awkwardly as if that would erase the last few seconds of shame you felt. “It is late. I’m afraid I must turn in. Goodnight, Joshua.” 

You flung the chamber door open and closed it just as fast without a glance in Joshua’s direction, your back hitting the wood as you worked your anxieties down.

Now you’ve really done it stupid stupid STUPID!

-

So here you are, looking for a kissing manual that doesn’t exist.

“I can’t believe it has come to this.” You moan, shaking your head at how pathetic you currently feel. You want to kiss him; of course you want to kiss him! But the thought of kissing him and making a complete fool out of yourself has strung itself high in your head. You will do anything to ease your anxieties, and if finding literature that will help you is the way, then so be it. 

You keep searching the shelves, and finally you see something that catches your attention. You see a book with a deep red spine, and immediately you become curious. Red means romance which maybe means kissing, right? you think and go to reach for it, your tippy toes giving you an extra inch that helps you grab the old spine of the book. Once the book is grasped, you give it a once over and what you see is nothing at all. The book has no title, no author, no nothing. Just hardbound leather that looks as if it had been dyed with blood. 

You move to sit at a table, the kissing debacle hiding in the back of your skull as a new curiosity peeks. You stare at the book intently, like it was going to open up for you to tell you all of its secrets. A book with no visible identity, no mark.

The curiosity killed the cat as you finally flipped it open, the crackle of the pages singing, showing its age. The first few pages are barren with no offering until you reach the first official page. You read, smiling because you can read everything on the page in comprehension, but also because it’s a love poem. You never have had the chance to read poetry thus far, so this was a treat for you. Just the thing I need to ease my mind.

You continue reading the poems, most being about love, companionship, and things in the realm of romance. As you read them, you picture Joshua and yourself, like the two of you were living in the reality of this book full of lovely prose. In a way, it makes you recognize that maybe what Joshua sees in you is what you are imagining right now: a lover, a partner for life. You feel a sense of confidence swell in you, so you read on, addicted to the words written out.

Until you get to the next page.

What you read next halts your breathing, slowing it down to stop fire from growing in your chest. This poem is about the same things previously stated, love, romance, companionship, but in a much more intimate form. The words strung together formed the most erotic sentences, words of longing for the senses. They make you blush hotly; they make you antsy in your chair while locked in, but most especially they make your mind run wild with fantasies of you and him. 

Oh, you and him.

You mind wanders as you read, zoning out into a reality where you exude the confidence to give into Joshua’s desires and more. The words dig into your skin, warming you up that your thin nightgown felt like plenty of layers on this cool night. You are so immersed that you don’t hear the large doors open, and the calling of your name feels like a figment of your imagination. It’s not until you feel the warmth on your shoulders that you are brought back, feeling like a bucket of cold water has been dropped over your head from the cold sweat.

You slam the book shut, turning so quickly that the room starts to spin before the warmth on your shoulders grows firm, steadying you in your seat. You look to see Joshua staring at you, worry showing on his face seemingly from your reaction. “I deeply apologize, my lady. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

You breathe a chuckle, seeing him here at a time like this would be your luck. You cross your arms, becoming extremely aware of your lack of clothing under his gaze. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you.” He retorts and pulls out a chair to sit facing you. “Truthfully, I couldn’t sleep much. I came here to see if doing more research would tire me, but it seems fate has chosen a more direct route to my restlessness.”

You see why he can’t sleep, and sigh because this is from your doing. “Joshua, you have nothing to fret over. You did nothing wrong.”

“But I’m afraid you are wrong, my lady. I shouldn’t have been so forward, and to know I put you in an uncomfortable position upsets me greatly. I would never dream of making you uneasy, and for my mishaps I must apologize to you. I cannot bear the thought of you keeping your distance because of my foolishness.” 

You watch him as he apologizes for his directness, which internally makes you laugh because that isn’t the issue. You love his directness, just as he is being direct with you right now. It’s you. It’s your cowardice for wanting something more and not having the courage to pursue because of the what ifs, the buts, the howevers. It’s your fear of rejection because of your lived experiences. It’s you, not him. 

“Joshua.” You state, moving to grab his hands within your own. “You did nothing wrong.”

“My lady, please I-” 

“Shhh,” you hush. “Let me speak.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, and I apologize for making you feel you need to.” You exhale, preparing to open yourself up for display. “It’s all me. I’m inexperienced, and I’ve been viewed as nothing for so long that I’m fearful that one misstep will set you away; that you can have someone who knows what they are doing and have the confidence to show for it.”

“Is that really what this is about?” Joshua asks.

You nod, looking down at the two of your intertwined hands. You see Joshua’s hands pull away from yours and your breath shakes. This is it. He is going to leave. That’s until you feel the heat that only the Phoenix could exude on your cheeks, your head being brought up to see him smiling. “My dearest,” Joshua whispers, as if talking any louder would damn him. “You are my everything, for you have captured me: mind, body, and soul. Also, your inexperience mirrors mine, I can assure you.”

Your eyes widen. “There is no way that can be true. You are a Lord.”

He’s laughing now, shaking his head as his hands go back to you, grasping them with care. “I was only a child then. Besides, the Undying were very protective of me under their care. There was no time nor place for such things. Even then, the only person that was always allowed in my vicinity was Jote, and we have never viewed each other romantically.”

“So, there really has been no one?” You whisper, your mind stuck between disbelief and credence.

“No. Not until now.” He squeezes your hands. “My heart belongs to you, and you alone. There is no one else I’d rather give myself to.”

You shiver, the idea of experiencing forms of intimacy together for the first time spreads a raging fire in your stomach. “You sure have a way with words, Joshua Rosfield.”

“You can thank all of the romance novels I read in my youth.” He chuckles. “Speaking of books, what were you reading?”

“What?” You ask, forgetting about the erotica sitting inches away from you. 

“The book you were reading. I don’t believe I have read that one yet. May I take a look?” 

You are panicking, knowing the contents of the book and who is asking to take a peek. You go to grab it, reacting as fast as you could, but alas you reacted too late. Joshua now has the book, opening the page you had left off on, and starts to read. You see his eyes go wide, his pupils dilating, his fingers fidgeting against the page he is holding. You freak out, going to reach for the book before he reads further. “Okay Joshua, that’s enough.” A smile creeps up slowly on his face, humming as he moves to stand up before your fingertips touch the book, backing away slowly as he continues. You stand up, walking up to him to get that god forsaken book away from him. 

“Oh Joshua, please give me back the book!” You panic. 

“By the Founder, what possessed you to read this smut?” Joshua smirks, seamlessly avoiding your grabby hands as he reads the pages. “Especially in the middle of the night?”

He wasn’t meant to see this! He wasn’t meant to see you reading the abhorrent words you were consuming. He wasn’t meant to see you like this in your flimsy gown. Damn me! Why did I not cover up more?!

“To taste the lips is to be fulfilled, for the instinct of man is to claim, conquer, and revel in the midst of her flesh. To kiss is to hunger, to feast among the softest of petals that call to him, beckoning for his return to get both of their fills.”

You are internally screaming now. You can’t believe he is tormenting you like this. You are still reaching for the book, desperate for this nightmare to end, before you hear an “oomph” as Joshua’s back collides into one of the shelves. You snatch the book from him, running back to put it back where it came from. “Okay, enough please!”

“Forgive me.” Joshua says, although it is said with a devilish grin. “I just didn’t know you had such… exquisite taste.”

“I didn’t even know what was in the book when I pulled it.” You say defensively, hands waving manically in front of you like they would make you more convincing. “I was just trying to find something that would help give me the courage.”

As if that isn’t as embarrassing, or even more so.

“What if we do something that helps us both gain courage? A practice session if you will.” Joshua says from the other side of the room, keeping his distance to see what tone you will take.

“What do you have in mind?” You draw out nervously, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation.

Joshua walks back over to where you both had sat, moving the chair so it was facing you before sitting down. He rubs his thighs a little as if he needed to warm them up, before patting his lap. “Come take a seat.”

Instinct has you taking a step forward before a hitch finds itself in your feet, stopping them all together. 

“Do you trust me?” He asks sincerely.

“Of course, I do.” You quickly blurt out, as if answering a second later would draw doubt. 

He smiles, his hand reaching out to invite you over. “Then please, my dearest, come to me.”

You take a deep breath and walk over till you stand before him. You grasp his hand, tingles running up your arm as he pulls you to him and guides you onto his lap. Your hands move to steady yourself on his shoulders, while he places his hands on your lower back to support you. Your legs dangle on either side of the chair, your gown riding up your thighs which you are all too aware of. However, you note that Joshua is only looking at you, gauging to see where your head is. “Is this okay, my lady?”

“Mhmm.” You hum, trying to calm your rapid heart. This is so intimate, too intimate, but you want it. You want him. You want to create every kind of intimacy with him, and this is a start. You knew that it is time to take that leap, especially since he will take that leap with you. 

“Joshua,” you murmur, eyes still on his. “Will you kiss me?”

“As you wish, my love.” 

You close your eyes, leaning in slightly to show that you aren’t backing out. You feel one of Joshua’s hands move to your left cheek, your branded cheek, tracing it with his thumb gently. Soon you feel him move forward, his forehead sitting against yours, his breath hitting your lips in puffs. The anticipation was killing you, your hands squeezing his shoulders to urge him on, and before you know it his lips are against your own. The kiss is light, a sweet peck before pulling away slightly, only to go back to give one more. You both are testing the waters, giving into each other slowly until the two of you start to grow peckish.

The kiss is gradual, pecks graduating to long lip locks and more movement. Your hands have found homage in Joshua’s hair, gripping not too hard but enough to show him how much you are enjoying him. His hands found their way to the crease of your hips, gripping the flesh to keep you in place. You can feel yourself growing restless, needing more of him within your senses. 

It’s like he can read your mind as his hands bring your body closer. A gasp leaves your lips as his groin settles against your heat, leaving your head spinning. His kisses become feverish, his hands roaming up and down your thighs, your nightgown receding higher in the process. You sense satiability is nowhere in sight, the movements of his body proving to you that the absence of intimate touch has turned him into a depraved man. Because even though Joshua Rosfield is a gentleman with a heart of selflessness, he is still a man with selfish desires and needs.

Your hands go back to grip at his shoulders, trying to calm yourself from his ministrations. A wetness hits your lips, and your mouth opens willingly, needing to taste him further. Your tongues melt together, creating a unique taste between the two of you that’s so addicting you don’t know how either of you will stop. You lean more into him, your hands going back to his hair to control his movements, causing him to groan in the most sinful way. You pull away, giggling knowing you got him to make such pretty sounds. The confidence from it goes straight to your head, going right back in for his lips to have him make more delicious sounds. 

A deep feral groan is released from Joshua’s throat, causing him to pull away in heavy breaths. He looks at you with hazy eyes, smiling deliriously. “You will be the death of me, my love.”

Your hands are now trailing from his hair to his chest, your hands running up and down the fabric of his tunic, feeling the toned body beneath it all. Your head leans back against his forehead, both of your breaths heavy on each other’s lips. “Then shall death keep us together, never parted.”

Joshua leans up back to your lips, kissing you hungrily, your declaration causing him to hunger for more. You still had the high ground, you being on top giving you more opportunity to take the lead. You knew this could be too soon, a little risky, but your sureness that Joshua feels the same hunger as you do is enough to convince you. You start to grind down slowly on top of him, your undergarments and his matching tunic pants the only barriers. 

“Fuck,” Joshua draws out breathless, his arms coming up to wrap around you to ground himself. 

“Does that feel good, my Lord?” You smile, feeling over the moon that you are making him act this way. 

“You have no idea.” Joshua gasps. “You have turned me into a new man.”

You giggle as you continue your movements. “Is that so?”

“By the Founder, yes!” He groans loudly at a particular movement of your hips. “How about I show you.”

Suddenly you are being lifted up, your butt settled onto a hard surface, legs spread apart by Joshua’s hips, and warm lips ravishing your own. Your nightgown is definitely way past your legs now, bunched up at your hips with Joshua’s hands right under the fabric. This new side of Joshua has you addicted, the push and pull the both of you are playing at exciting you more. You release his lips and lean up to his neck, nipping at the skin at the juncture of his neck and jaw. His breath hitches, leaning into you as you nip and kiss his neck. It’s as if he is hypnotized by your love bites, casting a spell on him. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer to you, but in an instant everything stops.

You open your eyes to see Joshua breathing hard, his hands gripping the table. Your hands go to his face, worry etching into your brain. “Darling, did I do something wrong?”

Joshua laughs, his eyes opening to look right back at you. “Absolutely not.” His hands go to yours on his face, holding onto each one as he brings them down. “I just don’t want to accomplish everything in one night, especially here in the Shelves.”

He pulls you up to your feet, your hands still in his as he looks at you with the brightest smile on his face. “I want to have time to savor you when the time is right.”

Even after all of that, he is still ever the gentleman. 

“I agree. I’m sorry if I went too far.” You chuckle, a tinge of embarrassment in your tone. 

Joshua embraces you, his head tucked into your neck. “You have nothing to apologize for. I hope you don’t think I had ulterior motives.”

“Never,” you say quickly, squeezing him to you.

“We should head back to our respective beds before people notice we’ve disappeared.” Joshua hums.

You hum in agreement and pull back, so you are now under Joshua’s arm. Both of you head out the doors of the Shelves into the cool night air. You shiver, and Joshua brings you in closer to shield you from the cold. He walks you back to the bed chambers, and before he departs, he places a light kiss on your lips, causing your eyes to flutter close at the bliss you feel in the moment. 

“Goodnight, my dearest. I shall see you in the morning.” Joshua says after he pulls away.

“Goodnight, Joshua. But before you go, may I request something?” 

“Anything for you, my dearest.” 

“Can we practice some more later? You are my tutor after all.” And my lover, my partner for life.

Joshua beams at you. “I would love nothing more.”

[shellshocklove]

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smut = *

❀ JOEL MILLER

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* does anyone know where the love of god goes? | farm!joel miller

↳ crossing the country alone as he searches for his brother, joel stumbles on a farm. winter is closing in, and against his better judgement he's convinced to stay. as the frost covers the land like a blanket, a warmth ignites in his heart for the young woman who's home he finds himself in.

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© shellshocklove

[okaylorrainee]

words never said

characters. lo’ak & female omatikaya reader.

genre. romance. angst

synopsis. arranged as a mated pair, lo’ak never focused on becoming a good husband for you and often pushed away your feelings for him. only when you’re dying in his arms did he realize what he was losing, but it was all too late.

contains. aged up characters (adults). ooc most likely. character death. unhappy marriage. the sullys never went to awa’atlu. the clan still lives in hometree.

note. counting this as my 180+ followers special ! hehe. i hope you guys learn something from this :p let me know your thoughts! (but don’t be mean i am weak)

also on ao3!

a shawl made of leaves wrapped around your form as you stood silently in the middle of your kelku, watching your mate frantically search for his battle gear. jake sully had called the warriors again for another raid against the sky people who were planning to take over yet another area in your clan. the raids have been happening quite frequently now, and being the son of the olo’eyktan himself, lo’ak, your mate, was expected to participate in all of them. 

you grew worried every moment he wasn’t here. you prayed to the great mother he’d come back to you in one piece, safe and sound, but you knew it wouldn’t always be possible. every time the war party came back, someone would be gravely injured. most of the time, a couple of them wouldn’t even return - their corpses lying cold on the battlefield.

thankfully, your husband was a great warrior. although he was reckless and often didn’t follow jake’s orders, he was witty enough to survive all the hits and attacks of the humans, and also, your brother-in-law, neteyam, would always be there to keep him in check. not once did lo’ak return with a fatal injury, but still, you couldn’t help but worry.

in front of you, lo’ak grunted, securing his battle band around his waist. he grabbed his hunting knife from the ground and wiped away litters of dust the blade caught from lying on the floor. his brows formed wrinkles on his face as he frowned, and you didn’t really know why he was upset again right now.

“please be careful, ma’yawntutsyip.” you uttered softly, but he didn't reply nor look at you. even if it was usual for him to do this, it still hurt you. you tried not to mull over it too much.

still ignoring you, lo’ak turned his back on you as he moved to exit. he was leaving again to battle without saying anything, while you were here, dying with concern over his safety. it pained you so much how it seemed like he didn’t care about you every second of every day since you were mated. but you still loved him anyway. he was your mate, your husband, your second half.

before he could completely leave you, you took the chance to say, “i love you, lo’ak.” something you never failed to tell him every day, just to remind him that you were here, that he had you to come back home to. “please, will you say it back just this once?” it took every bit of your strength to plead to him, you just wanted to hear him say it.

your words made him stop in his tracks. he turned his head to the side to spare you a glance, and you tried to fight his cold eyes. you saw how he clenched his jaw as if he was going to say something, but he sighed and turned away before he could. saying nothing else, he marched out of your kelku.

you felt your whole body relax as soon as he left, you didn’t even notice how tense you were while he was here. still standing in the same spot, you looked around your kelku. some stuff were disordered from how much lo’ak moved them around while he was searching. when the air entered from the opening of your kelku and touched your skin, the heaviness of your heart became difficult to ignore, and you simply inhaled deeply to try to calm yourself down.

tears started welling in your eyes and your lips quivered. you were upset. so so upset at how cold and lonely you felt in your own home right now, so upset that you have to clean up all of these cluttered things as if you were once again fixing up the mess that was your union with lo’ak. 

you tried to keep your sobs quiet as you knelt to pick up the things your husband didn’t bother to put back properly. it was always like this with him. while he never yelled at you nor physically hurt you, lo’ak also was never affectionate to you. it was like he wasn’t even your mate. it was like he was just living with you in the same home, sleeping in the same mat and hammock. it was like he never acknowledged you as a lover with how cold he was towards your advances.

you envied the other couples who would profess their love, kiss and hug, and reassure each other every time the other went to battle. why couldn’t lo’ak just love you, try to, or even pretend to?

from what you knew, to him, you were just someone his parents tied to him for life in order to keep him ‘in place’, to show the people that he is a desirable son and son-in-law like his older brother, to make the people know lo’ak is capable of finding a mate and providing for her and for a future family. 

and you understood how he felt and why he was like this to you. you convinced yourself really hard to. every night when you lay beside him whilst he slept soundly next to you, you were crying to yourself, trying to understand that he was still just busy proving himself to his father, proving himself to the people that he could catch up to his older brother, proving to everyone that he wasn’t just some rash failure. you understood why he couldn’t focus on you, even if you were his wife.

as a husband, lo’ak never fulfilled his marriage duties. he only mated with you once and never again, and that was during the ceremony in front of eywa. many of your heat cycles have passed but he never touched you no matter what you did. you often wondered if it was because he had his eyes on someone else. but you’ve confirmed long ago that lo’ak never flirted with the other women in the clan. he was simply too busy with the war and with proving himself, but you loved him all the same because you supported your husband, you only hoped he’d love you back one day. 

hours have passed since he left. while he was gone, you decided to stock up on some fruit by yourself. you could’ve joined the other women who were also waiting for their mates, but you wanted to be alone so you could think and calm down. you were solemn the entire time, even as you returned back home with your basket full of his favorite fruit.

at the moment, you were sitting quietly in the middle of your kelku, weaving a new mat for lo’ak so he could rest in a clean one once he got home. but the silence didn’t last long when it was interrupted by the stomping feet and crying of a child running to your home. all at once, you dropped everything and hurried to the child’s side, gently taking her into your arms.

you cupped her face and looked at her with eyes full of worry, “what is the matter, ‘evi? why are you crying?”

the little girl continued to sob in your arms. “my brother, please. the tawtute.” her sentence was incomplete, and she was crying uncontrollably but the words ‘brother’ and ‘tawtute’ were all you needed to hear to understand what was going on - the sky people were near, and her brother was in danger.

your breath hitched but you tried not to panic. what were you going to do now? you were not a warrior. you were just a common clan member whose role is to weave clothing and collect fruit for the people. but you knew how to shoot an arrow as it was required to come-of-age, and you knew it was enough to at least help and stand up for this little child and her brother. she came to you because your kelku was the nearest, and there was no time to look for someone else. as an adult of your clan, it is your duty to protect them.

with a deep breath, you pulled away from her and quickly took the old bow and arrow sitting next to your shared mat with lo’ak. gripping its handle tightly, you said, “take me to him.” 

the little girl wasted no time in dragging you with her deeper into the forest. you weren’t sure where she was leading you. every step you took made you grow more anxious about what you were going to face. 

soon enough, you heard the sound of running water nearby, and you understood that a waterfall was just here somewhere. the little girl suddenly stopped running in front of you, and she tugged your arms, giving you a look to tell you that you were here. 

you heard the voices of male humans chattering in the vicinity, talking about ‘dna’ and ‘new avatar’ in their language. you couldn’t understand what they were saying and only those three words gave you the gist of what they were talking about. even if your husband was quite fluent in the language of those demons, you still didn’t understand. lo’ak never taught you after all. but all that matters right now is getting her brother back, you could worry about the rest later on.

you bent your knees slightly to meet the child’s eyes. placing your palm on her head, you whispered. “go hide. i will take care of everything.”

still with tears in her eyes, she nodded at you before running back to one of the trees behind you.

you took a deep breath before stealthily approaching the voices. your steps were gentle as you crouched, the crunch of the leaves you stepped on was non-existent as you made your way closer. as soon as the soldiers came into view, you took a while to observe the situation. the na’vi boy was tied up, back faced to you, and two humans were in front of him, armed with large guns scouting the area. 

you quietly moved and hid yourself behind the tree that was next to you. with your back pressed on its trunk, you took your arrow and started positioning your bow. you can do this, you can do this. you encouraged yourself in your head. there are only two of them. to you, the humans themselves weren’t scary, they were a lot smaller than you after all. just one harsh slap and you could make them fly away. it was their weapons that concerned you, you didn’t understand how they worked.

you held your breath as you stepped away from the tree, arms raised whilst you aimed at the human. you planned to shoot them consecutively before they could react with their weapons, you knew you could do it. and so, without further hesitation, you released the arrow and allowed it to fly through the air, stabbing the human right on his head.

the man hadn’t even dropped to the ground when you took another arrow and stretched your bow to aim at the other one. again, you shot the man on his head, and you watched as both of their bodies collapsed on the ground with a thud.

you sprinted to the boy’s side, who began crying from relief the moment he saw you. when you knelt in front of him, you immediately started to untie him from the ropes, reassuring him that he was safe now and to not worry. as soon as the boy was free, he tackled you into a grateful hug, sobbing into your arms.

“mawey, mawey.” you patted his back, carefully pulling him away from you. “we need to go. more of them will come. go!”

he was nodding as he stumbled standing up. you gestured for him to run, and he obeyed, darting to the direction of hometree.

you stood up to trail behind him. but before you could even walk another step, a loud mechanical thud was heard from behind you. you grew cold, already aware of what that was. you spun around reluctantly and were met with a soldier in an amp suit aiming his firearm right at you.

what happened next was a blur. you didn’t have the time to grab your bow nor react, because when his weapon erupted a loud bang, it was already over for you.

–

the ikrans shrieked as they landed on the branches of hometree. the war party was surrounded by a crowd of family members, all looking for their warriors in worry and anticipation of their return. lo’ak, who was in between his father and older brother, dismounted his ikran as his eyes searched for a particular na’vi among the people. 

he puffed out a disappointed breath when he couldn’t find who he was looking for. were you mad at him because he didn’t say ‘i love you’ back earlier? this wasn’t new to your relationship, so what was different now? you never missed his arrival. were you finally getting tired of him?

lo’ak’s lips pursed as he followed behind jake through the horde that was their clan members. neteyam who was walking beside lo’ak, felt his younger brother’s sour mood but he decided not to mention it anymore. the entire day and weeks before having been stressful enough. with the raids going on and lo’ak constantly going to him for advice about his marriage, neteyam knew if he dared to bring it up, it would only make his brother appear more upset in front of you once he got home. 

as the three of them made their way through hometree, they came across a young na’vi boy wailing in the corner, circled by a few other adults who were trying to calm him down. jake didn’t hesitate to go near them.

“what’s going on here?” jake asked, his two sons standing with him on both sides.

the boy wiped his tears away, trying to meet the eyes of his olo’eyktan. “s-soldiers ambushed me.” he wanted to explain more, but his voice was shaking, and it was all he could say.

“where?” neteyam leaned forward to join the conversation.

“near the waterfall.” the boy sobbed. “i was able to escape because my sister called for help.”

“help? who helped you?” lo’ak asked.

everyone fell oddly silent from his question that it made jake and neteyam look around in confusion. lo’ak raised an eyebrow, waiting for the boy to answer. “well?” he urged him to reply.

the boy only hid himself in the arms of the na’vi who was comforting him, sobbing louder than earlier. what could he say to the husband of the person who saved him? when it was already clear to him what happened when a bang echoed through the forest?

the people looked at lo’ak with sympathy, and he stared at them one by one, trying to process and understand what their expressions meant. he grew cold every second when none of them uttered anything. what were they doing? why were they looking at him like this? like they were apologizing? 

lo’ak’s expression darkened. your absence, their apologetic looks. it couldn’t be, right?

he released a deep exhale as he straightened his back. lo’ak’s world stopped as realization struck him. suddenly, everything was silent. he couldn’t hear the child’s sobbing, the people talking around him, and neteyam calling his name from literally right beside him. all he could hear was a long high-pitched ring on his ear, and there was a string in front of him ready to snap any second.

his lips were parted as he breathed heavily, trying to calm himself whilst he turned and walked away from them without a word. jake was calling him but he ignored and continued to his ikran. you? you helped that boy? you weren’t a warrior. how could you fight? lo’ak’s jaw clenched as he thought about it.

neteyam hurried to lo’ak’s side, grabbing his arm to catch his brother’s attention. “bro, calm down.” 

lo’ak snapped his head at neteyam, eyes burning in anger. “calm down? how can i? my wife, my mate. she is in danger!” his voice raised, catching the attention of almost everyone around them. lo’ak harshly pulled his arm back from neteyam, and all the man could do was stand there dumbfounded.

jake nodded to neteyam with a knowing look as lo’ak mounted his ikran in front of everyone. the animal shrieked louder than ever, mirroring the burning anger of its rider. and as lo’ak commanded his companion to fly away, jake and neteyam ran to their ikrans and followed suit to fly to you.

lo’ak couldn’t think straight as he flew, and his ikran could feel it. his blood was cold, and he was shaking in worry. he was hoping, praying to the great mother silently in his head that he understood their looks wrong and it wasn’t you who he was going to find there. that you were just asleep in your home, tired from weaving, and that’s why you weren’t there earlier when he arrived. lo’ak was sweating, even as the cold air ran through his skin as he flew - he didn’t know what he would do if it was really you.

for the past few weeks, lo’ak had been visiting his older brother, asking him for advice on how to make things better for your relationship. neteyam was always the better one, and even lo’ak couldn’t disagree with that. lo’ak knew that he struggled with expressing his emotions and with controlling the relationship especially because it started out rough when he initially didn’t want to be with you. he was hoping his brother could help him sort his thoughts out, or at least, help him form better words to explain and plan out the slow change he wanted in your marriage.

lo’ak learned to love you as months with you went by. at first, he thought you were pretending to love him and that you were settling for him because he was used to the others mocking him for not being as great as his older brother. but lo’ak saw how genuine, kind, loving, and caring you were towards him - how could he not fall? 

lo’ak treated you harshly because he felt bad that you were tied to a failure like him. he wanted you to find someone better so you could be happier, because he was still in the process of finding himself. but lo’ak knew that deep down, he couldn’t really let you go. just thinking about you being with someone else irked him so much, he would rather be skinned alive than to live through a day seeing you with another man. and so, lo’ak built up his courage, and tried so hard to prove himself to everyone, so that one day, he could love you, and nobody else would be worthy enough for you than him. after all, you were his mate, his wife, his second half.

lo’ak, neteyam, and jake arrived by the waterfall just in time when a soldier in an amp suit was picking you up with its hands, motioning to walk away from the scene.

lo’ak’s eyes glowered at the sight, blood boiling as he became angrier. your limbs were swaying as the metal suit held you, and lo’ak knew you were unconscious. his ikran glided through the air at immense speed as he yelled from his throat, taking his bow out and aiming the arrow straight at the soldier inside the suit.

the amp suit collapses in an instant when the arrow stabbed through the human’s head. the sudden motion made the suit’s arm throw your body into the air, and you fell harshly on the ground with a cruel sound. 

lo’ak kept his eyes only on you when his ikran eventually landed, jake and neteyam right behind him. lo’ak practically jumped off of his ikran as he rushed to your side. from his rear, jake was in the background ordering neteyam to scout the area and look if other soldiers were around, but lo’ak ignored them and only focused on you.

lo’ak knelt beside you, grabbing your arm as he assessed your body. jake towered behind lo’ak, and he could only watch sadly for his son - he knew that from how you looked right now, you were already dead even before they arrived, but he couldn’t bring himself to point that out to his grieving son.

“no, no, no. please, please.” lo’ak shook his head, refusing to believe the state you were in right now - blood running from your mouth and everywhere else that was shot in your body. this was the first time you could’ve heard the concern in his voice for you, but you couldn’t.

lo’ak began tearing up at the sight of you, and he forced his tears away so he could assess your face better for any sign of life. “you’re not dead, you’re not dead.” he repeated to himself as if he was convincing himself. 

when you didn’t answer a word nor any movement, his grip tightened on your cold hand, and he yelled a cry. it was the first time jake saw his son cry that much. “please come back to me, baby, please!” he pleaded, hands moving to cup your cheeks. but your lifeless eyes only stared back at him. 

i love you, lo’ak. please, will you say it back just this once?

“i see you, i love you! i always have, please!” he wailed the words he never said, the words you have longed to hear. but it was too late, your arms were limp, and you weren’t responding; you couldn’t hear him anymore. your body was turning cold every minute that was passing; you were dead and no matter how much lo’ak pleaded and cried beside you, you weren’t going to come back. he knew this, but he was refusing to accept it.

jake could only watch as lo’ak started to yell out his cries. 

the regret of being too late, the regret of losing his other half forever, the regret of never giving you the love you deserved, the regret of never saying the words you deserved to hear - would eat lo’ak up for the rest of his life, because you died never knowing how much he loved you too.

©️ okaylorrainee 2023. please do not re-upload, translate my content anywhere without permission.

tell the people you love that you love them before it's too late!

[theywhowriteandknowthings]

Vampire Smile

Pairing: Thrall!Simon "Ghost" Riley x Vampire!Reader Rating: E Warnings: Vampires, Vampire Bites, Vampire Sex, Blood, Blood and Gore, Self-Hatred, Human/Monster Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Codependency, Toxic Relationship, Self Indulgent af with way too much flowery shit, I wanted to be expressive for once, Self-Indulgent, Smut, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Smut - Let me know if I missed anything! Wordcount: 5934 After trying to push Simon away, he comes back, and distance only makes the heart grow fonder.

(I made Simon’s blood type A Positive, we’ve got two skins with two conflicting blood types for him so I just chose this one) Vampire Smile - Kyla La Grange and Too Sweet - Hozier were playing on repeat while I wrote this. I'm not even sorry. For @glitterypirateduck's Simon Riley challenge. It started from thinking about using 4. A kiss on the inside of the wrist but it became so much more. Thank you @noxturnalpascal for beta-ing for me!

Ghost Masterlist | CoD Masterlist | AO3

“Please.”

Your skin crawls as you hear his voice, ringing around your mind like he’s in the room with you. But that’s impossible, you haven’t seen him in weeks. You don’t want to see him.

Liar.

“Stop it,” you hiss into the darkness, “You need to stop.”

“I can’t, please. Just need to see you,” Simon’s disembodied voice weakens you as the hooks of his desperation find purchase in your resolve. He shouldn’t have this control, this access to your mind. You should be the one dictating the link, not him.

“You should be focusing on you, on staying alive,” you groan as you writhe under the blankets of your nest. You’re burning up, phantom sweat prickling at your skin as you push the heels of your palms into your eye sockets.

“Why?”

The question shakes you. So filled with venom, bitterness, self-hatred. A single syllable loaded with contempt, defiance, loss. He’s learned to manipulate your bond, he’s had help.

“Because I need you to live, Simon,” you groan as your nipples tighten as you feel him swelling in his boxers. It’s like you’re pressed against him, like that night in Tripoli – the beginning of the end for you both. You relive the way his heat bled into you as you let him worship your body. Your fingers dip down under the blankets and over the valley of your breasts.

“Stop thinking about that,” you snap, clenching your fingers into a fist as you snatch your hand away from your aching core. You’re too old, too strong to let a mortal like Simon play you like this.

He doesn’t respond, instead the mood of his thoughts shift, you hiss as you feel your fangs extend down over your lips. Your mouth floods with the heady tang of blood, his blood. It’s an illusion, a memory conjured up just for you, but it tastes so real.

“Simon,” you warn, voice hoarse as you pull your sleep mask from your eyes. You wince, even with your light-proofing, you can feel the UV radiation raging against the building around you. The burning threat of the sun behind your blackout curtains quells the thirst, the hunger for a brief moment.

“My Lady,” he trades your warning for one of his own, for every inch of his yearning you feel, you know he feels your pain.

“Where are you?” You groan as you force your aching limbs to move, you need to drink something. You’re sleep deprived, hungry, and no matter how hard you try to dispel the psychic haze blanketing your mind you can’t get the taste of Simon’s blood from your lips.

There’s a pause, a stutter in the psychic link, before you feel a deliberate, abrupt severance. You jump from your bed as experience the cold grip of fear wrap around your throat for the first time in decades.

“Simon?” You call to him, probing the cauterized connection in your mind as you search for his presence. He’s not there, he’s cut you off, somehow, he’s blocking your attempts to reestablish the link.

Or he’s dead.

The thought comes unbidden as you let the tendrils of terror twist around your dead heart. It’s pain like you’ve never felt as you realise, you’re trapped here. Simon could be bleeding out somewhere, dying alone, all because you couldn’t face your own feelings. Because you cannot venture into the light to find him.

You call Simon’s number, dread weighs heavy in the pit of your stomach as it goes straight to voicemail. You try again, and again. By the fifth time you’re pacing the length of your hall as you try to fight the urge to rush out into the sunlight.

You just need to know that he’s safe, but where do you even start? He could be anywhere in the world right now. But you’re stuck here, confined to your crypt.

You make yourself move, straight to the kitchen. You focus on the blood bags in your fridge, the A POS label taunting you as you snatch one up. It makes a dull slap as you throw it into your microwave, it kills some of the potency, but you’ve never been one to drink cold blood.

The microwave beeps cheerily and you tear the bag open with your exposed fangs before devouring it in hasty mouthfuls. The crimson liquid dribbles over your chin as you lean back against the kitchen counter.

You feel sharper, less hazy as you feel the warmth spread through your body. It numbs the need to throw yourself out into the sunlight. But it doesn’t stop the ache in your chest as you feel yourself spiralling.

Then you feel it.

He’s here.

The sound of a car door slamming down the street makes you sprint to the door, looking through the peep hole as you feel someone else’s anxiety bubble in your chest. Simon’s anxiety.

You hear his boots crunch on the gravel path, the gait of his walk memorised like a second heartbeat. Favouring his left, caused by an old injury left over from a time before you. It’s hard to imagine a time before him. Before this.

You hover at the front door, hiding behind the thick wooden barrier, fingertips poised over somewhere level with where you know his heart rests within his broad chest. You can almost feel it. Your skin pulses with the faux rush of his blood, tantalisingly close, yet so far away.

“Let me in,” he whispers, too low for a normal human to hear, but you pick it up as easily as if his lips were pressed to your skin.

“No,” you say, loud enough for him to hear, but it wouldn’t matter, the psychic link has burrowed back into your mind. He can feel your desperation, your need for him.

“My Lady,” he groans as you feel him slump to his knees on your doormat, “Please.”

You sink to your knees in a perfect mirror, forehead colliding with the door with a soft thud as you try to find the strength to deny him. When it was just the two of you, communicating with thought alone, it was like chipping away at an iceberg. His attempts to sway you miniscule.

But now, with his heat so close, his scent, gravelly and raw mere inches away, you’re powerless to resist.

“I’ll be in the bedroom,” you say softly as you reach up to unlock the door. The sound of the mechanism turning is deafening in the silence between you.

You trudge back to your bedroom, bed unmade, twisted up in a mass of pillows and blankets. It’s been like this since you sent Simon away. What’s the point in cleaning, in making an effort, when the only person who made you feel remotely human is gone? The rest of the house is spotless, but you’d have to leave your bedroom for more than just blood and to answer the door to even make a mark elsewhere.

You sit in your sleep shorts and his oversized Metallica hoodie. You hadn’t even realised you were wearing it until you looked down to assess your appearance. You consider changing, putting on something less emotionally charged, you could certainly do it before he reached you.

But you hear the solid thud of the front door closing behind Simon and you freeze. His scent invades your nostrils within fractions of a second of the door closing. It’s like liquid sunshine flooding your senses, bright and intangible. You smell his cologne first, the one you bought him for his birthday, subtle woodsy notes with hints of juniper and spice.

You close your eyes, shutting off your vision to enhance your smell. He’s only down the hall, the thrum of his blood in his veins roaring in your ears as his heartbeat increases. You know he can feel you, that invisible string tying your hearts together, it tugs on your chest too.

Then his natural fragrance hits you, he must be at the doorway to your room, he must see you waiting for him in his clothes. His bloodstream fills with Oxytocin, you can smell the shift as his cock hardens in his trousers. He’s smells so fucking good.

Even without looking, you call tell he’s hydrated, sober, eating well, exercising and maintaining his health. The realisation that the distance has only made him more whole and you devastatingly empty makes your eyes sting with tears that will never come. It’s a bitter vindication, the stark reality that you were – are – bad for him striking your heart with more force than any stake could ever deliver.

You want to open your eyes, witness the rejuvenation of his soul, but you can’t. You know it’ll break your heart if you see it with your own eyes. He lingers in the doorway for a moment before you feel the air shift between you. He whispers your name as he kneels at your feet, close enough you can feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up, but he refrains from touching you.

“Why are you here Simon?” You ask, voice fractured and weak as you ball your fists on your knees, drawing your gums painfully tight around your fangs.

“You know why,” is all he says in return as you let him flood your mind with images of the good times.

Dancing under the stars in Lima, hushed whines and writhing bodies under canvas in the desert, lazy Sundays on Simon’s couch.

It’s almost enough to sway you but you’re pulled under by the riptide of guilt as waves of bitter memories surge up between you.

Simon’s pale form after you took too much, his life fading behind his eyes as you desperately fed him your blood to keep him alive. Tripoli. Where you bound his soul to yours, ruined his life, marked him for death and destruction. You finally found the tenderness and joy you’d never experienced in life, but with an unforgivable trade-off. You were forced to admit you were slowly killing the man you love.

“Then turn me,” Simon says with a groan as he lays his head on your thigh, “I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t shut me out again.”

The plea stings, venomous rot agitated and burning in your chest as your eyes fly open.

“You can’t ask that of me,” you hiss as you move to push him away, but you’re frozen in place, palms flat on his chest.

Simon’s ochre eyes pin you in place as you see the fruits of his distance from you. His skin is glowing, tanned and healthy from decent exposure to sunlight. His eyes, though baleful, are radiant as he gazes upon you. He’s filled out, a healthy layer of fat covering his muscular body.

Ripe.

You recoil from his touch at your intrusive thought, you’re crawling back onto the bed, away from him. He sits back on his heels, tears shining in his eyes as you feel the rejection sting through him across your link.

“You look good,” you mumble, making conversation, trying to delay the inevitable expulsion of him from your lair. You want him to leave. You need him to stay. You’re trapped in a web of your own design. Locked down as you cower pitifully from your prey.

“You look like shit,” Simon counters with a chuckle and there it is again, the clawing need for him to hold you as you laugh together. A human, irrational need to grow old with him.

“You’re doing better without me,” you say, selfishly, bitterly, as you meet his gaze.

“I’m doing better for you,” he shakes his head as he places his broad palms flat on the end of the bed, pausing in his movement as he realises what he’s doing. He’s just as drawn to you as he was weeks ago it seems, but there’s a glimmer of hope flickering in your chest as he holds back. It’s not a compulsion anymore.

“Simon,” you say with a gnash of your teeth as he takes your lack of protest as permission to join you on the bed, “You can’t fix me,” you try to reason but with every second he’s getting closer, breaking down your feeble attempts at pious resistance.

“No, I can’t,” he says with a sad smile as he slots between your thighs, hands either side of your head as he impotently cages you in, “But I don’t need to fix you, I just need to be with you, forever.”

“Si,” you whimper as you rest your forearms on his shoulders, warmth blooms in your palms as you clasp his thick neck between your palms, “I won’t turn you. I won’t make you a monster.”

Like me.

“I’m already a monster,” he growls as he leans in to kiss you, his lips ghosting against yours, “My body count is probably close to yours,” he jokes, but there’s undeniable truth there. It’s like he wants you to bite, to take and take and take. But you won’t, this can’t be a suck and fuck that ends in already half-broken promises and dooms your narrative for good this time.

“We have to talk about this,” you plead as he places a kiss to the corner of your mouth, “After.”

“After?” He goads as he nips at your jaw, you burn for him. You’re pliable under his touch, but you refuse to be the first to break. He needs to claim you, not the other way around. You won’t be complicit in ruining this man.

Even if that ship has sailed.

“Make love to me,” you whisper, “But I can’t bite you, not today.”

He pauses as his lips brush your throat, exposing his own to your fangs as he hovers there. It’s a challenge, a promise.

“But I want you to,” he breathes, hot against your cool skin as your gums sear with need to plunge your fangs into the broad, veiny neck mere millimetres away.

“Then leave,” you snap, teeth clacking as you refrain from giving into the heat in your belly, in moments like this, you would give Simon anything. You would let him drive a stake through your heart and it would please you.

For Simon, you would do anything. Anything but damn him to the curse of your lonely eternity.

“I will,” he says with an edge to his voice, dark and dangerous, “If you really want me to leave, and never return, just say the word.”

“No,” the word leaves your lips before you can stop it.

“Then, just for today,” he hums before he licks a thick, hot stripe up your neck, “Indulge me, feed from me,” he growls as you hook your ankles around his waist.

It’s textbook really, the thrall begging to be drained. But there’s something about the way he holds it over you, like there’s true agency there, that breaks you.

It’s like the world silences around you, the sound of Simon’s blood rushing in his veins is the only thing left. You don’t even stop to kiss him, you just bite.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

His heartbeat is a melody in your ears as you break the skin as easily as slicing through butter with a white-hot knife. Your fangs pump aphrodisiac into your mouth, directly into his bloodstream. You’re nearly delirious as you cling to him. Fingernails digging into the back of his shirt, ankles pressing into the small of his back as he grinds down against your barley-clothed cunt.

Monster.

You groan as the splash of blood hits your lips. Honey, cinnamon, spring water. All the things you remember that make up the heady drug that is your Simon.

“Thank you,” Simon’s voice is hoarse in your ear as he lets out shuddering breaths across your rapidly warming skin.

The urge to keep feeding binds you like silver chains, burning at your skin as you feed and feed.

Thump, thump, thump.

“Take what you need,” his voice is quieter now, like he’s speaking through a veil. Your tongue laps at the blood that runs in molten rivers down his skin.

Just a little more.

The poisoned voice in your mind urges you on, it wants you to drain every last drop. Leave behind a pretty little corpse for you to mourn and grieve for eternity. It wants to twist you into the monster you claim to be. You’re about to give in, to flip Simon on his back, pin him down and rip out that beautiful, thick throat.

Thump. Thump.

But he whispers so sweetly in your ear the words you’ve been dreading to hear. Because how can you hide from him now?

“I love you,” his voice is strong in your mind as his lips brush against your skin.

You push him off you, retracting your fangs just in time to stop his skin from tearing under the power of your jaws. He groans as you straddle his hips, your hands flying to his throat, thumbs pressed above his Adam’s apple. There’s no pressure in your grip, it’s weak despite the power raging through you. Simon has made you strong, stronger than you thought possible as you watch his amber eyes gleam with unshed tears.

“Knew you wouldn’t hurt me,” he says with a grin as he takes your wrists in his hands, thumbs brushing over where you once had a pulse.

“Never,” you vow, but your hands don’t move, blood smears against the heel of your right palm as the punctures bleed freely.

“I trust you,” he says with a smile as you feel his mind brush against yours, hazy and blissed out from your venom and his blood loss.

“You’re a fool,” you splutter as you lean down to pepper his scarred face with your bloodstained kisses, “Too stubborn for you own good,” you chide but there’s no malice in it.

“Look who’s talking, My Lady,” he grumbles as he drops his hands to your waist, fingertips dipping under the hem of his hoodie, “Fuck, I feel so good.”

“Yeah?” You purr as you feel the scratch and pull of his callouses on your skin.

“Yeah,” he repeats with a lazy smile as he palms your breasts with both hands, “Let me see you.”

You respond with a flurry of movements, too fast for his eyes to follow as you tear your clothes from your body. You grin down wolfishly at him as you now sit bare above him. You move his hands to your hips as you start to grind down against him.

“Like this?” You ask as you rock your wet cunt over the front of his trousers, using his painfully hard bulge to seek some relief in your aching core. Your breasts sway to the rhythm of your rolling hips.

“Yes,” he breathes your name as he grips your ass with both hands, encouraging you to move faster, but you slow down, to a veritable whisper of motion as you tug on his shirt.

“Your turn.”

He sits up with more strength than you expected. A bonus of being nourished and healthy, you think morosely to yourself as you try and push aside the negative twist of guilt in your gut.

You’re back on top of him in no time at all, his coarse happy trail rubbing deliciously against your clit as you splay your palms across his broad chest. His hands cup your cheeks as he pulls you down to slot your lips over his. You melt into his embrace and swipe your tongue over his bottom lip.

He cedes his mouth to your bloody maw as you tug at his hair, short blonde locks twisted around your fingertips while you pour your soul into his mouth. Unspoken admissions of love are written in the dance of your tongues. Hot muscle sliding over cold, feeling his warmth seep into your bones.  

His cock glides between your ass cheeks as he refrains from taking you. The echo of his pleasure rippling through you every time his tip catches on one of your holes, leaving you groaning in depraved desperation when he angles his hips away.

“I want to taste you,” he growls against your lips as he swipes his tongue over his own, collecting blood and venom before swallowing thickly. Your cunt clenches at the way the muscles in his neck flex and ripple. You want to bite down again and again, but you focus on Simon’s eyes, smiling down at him as desire swells within you.

“Then taste me,” you say with a smile as you feel the cobwebs of despair being blown from the corners of your mind. It’s easy to forget the bad times when you come together like this. It’s more than sex, it’s in the sweet intimacy as Simon flips your positions so you’re onto your back. In the way he eases you down onto the pillows, cradling your body in his strong arms as if you’re made of glass. It’s in these moments you forget and allow yourself to feel human again.

The irony makes you giddy as he kisses your jaw, nipping firmly against your cool skin before leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses down your body. His lips latch on your left nipple as he swirls his tongue around the hardened peak. The noise he makes as he worships your breasts makes your legs weak.

Caught in his throat, somewhere between a whine and a moan. Your response is desperate, feral.

“Simon, please,” you beg as he hums contentedly against your skin, slowly moving further down your body. His tongue lashes at the curve of your stomach, over the expanse of your ribs. You yelp in surprise and pained arousal as he nips at your skin. You buck your hips up as his lips meet your clit.

You want to cry out, to say something meaningful, but all that spills from your lips are strained whimpers. You’re gasping, even though you have no need for air, as he laps wetly at your slick folds. His hot breath and broad tongue ignite against your skin as he devours you. You buck up into his thick tongue, grinding against his slick muscle and he growls into your core.

“Taste so good, been dreaming of this,” his voice is muffled but you can see the flashes of those nightly visions behind his eyelids.  

First, you’re riding his face, face contorted into a fanged snarl as he pulls orgasm after orgasm from you. Next, pushed down into the mattress with his nose bumping against your dripping hole as he delves his tongue through your folds, lapping at your clit as you fall limp against the bedsheets.

The images run wild through your mind as he loops one arm over your belly, pulling your cunt tighter against his mouth. Two thick fingers tease at your hole and you’re whimpering for him, begging with thighs tightening around his head. Your fingers knot back into his hair as you urge him on, fingernails scraping on his scalp just how he likes.

He eases his fingers into your slick pussy, curling them up just how you like. Hours spent mapping your body out with his tongue, his teeth, fingers and his cock have made your pleasure second nature to him.

“Don’t leave me again,” he groans before sucking your clit between his lips, tongue swirling over your exposed bundle of nerves as he fucks you roughly on his fingers, “This cunt is mine.”

The sudden possessiveness arouses and angers you as a primal, monstrous need to dominate him flares at the base of your skull. It’s another blow to your twisted, broken ego, pulling you down from the precipice of total annihilation. It humbles and excites you just enough to let hope seed in amongst the putrid rot of self-hatred in your chest.

“If it’s yours,” you pant as you feel the subtle fraying of your nerves as your orgasm builds, “Then take it, show me how much you need me Simon Riley,” you growl, invoking his name like the night in Tripoli, “Show me you’re worthy of me.”

“Yes, My Lady,” he whimpers into your slick folds as he fucks his thick fingers into you, a pace and force strong enough to bruise if you were capable of such a thing, “Anything for you.”

Your mouth burns with the venom that leaks from your fangs as you dose yourself on your own poison. It’s blistering euphoria as you clench hard around Simon’s fingers. Slick gushes from you, coating his mouth, his chin, and his fingers. You scream his name as you remove your hands from his head, fisting and ripping at the bedsheets. Even this far gone, you will not hurt him.

Never again.

“Simon,” you whisper as you tremble, legs falling weakly as he laps gently at your core, worshiping at the altar of your sex as he drives you to overstimulated bliss.

“Did I do well?” He asks softly as he dips his tongue into your quivering core, causing your back to arch.

“Of course,” you croon as you sit up, fingertips tracing the scarred ridges that litter his face, palms cradling his jaw, “More than well, Simon, my love,” you whisper as you press your cool forehead against his, eyes closed as you let yourself just feel. Heat flows between you as his hands find your face.

“May I fuck you?” He asks, strong nose pressing against yours as he kneels between your legs, amber eyes flashing with desperation while he awaits your command. He smells of you, your essence smeared over his lips making you shudder as you press a chaste kiss to his lips.

“I don’t want you to ask permission like I’m your Lady,” you say as you feel his apprehension spike across your bond, “I want you to take what is already yours, Simon. As my lover. Not as a pale imitation of a pet.”

He pauses and you feel the flash of indecision under your skin like it is your own before his eyes darken. There’s something simmering under the surface as he trails his hands down your body, lingering on your waist as his thick fingers curl around your hips.

“I need you,” he murmurs your name, “I will have you.”

“Then take me,” you purr as you twist your fingers through his hair, pulling his head back taut as he snarls, “Use me, show me the meaning of need.”

Simon presses you back into the mattress, his hips slotting between your thighs as you feel his cock slap against your clit. You look down to see how broad he looks, and whimper at the sight of his hips rocking lazily back and forth. His tip catches at your entrance before he slides his shaft up through your folds.

You tremble as his bulbous head bumps against your overly sensitive bundle of nerves again and again. He’s toying with you now, making you squirm as he tests the limits of your patience. But you simply smirk up at him as you drag your fingernails down the column on his neck, his hips stutter and the way he grins down at you is almost enough to make your heart beat again.

“So beautiful beneath me,” he coos as he finally relents, notching himself at your aching core, “Oh fuck.”

He presses into you slowly, stretching you out, filling you to the brim in one slow, agonising roll of his hips. You huff out an empty breath, devoid of the air you no longer breathe, but the instinct to make room for his weight on top of you, deep inside you, prevails.

“Take me so well,” he grunts as he presses his chest against yours, head falling forward as he nips at the line of your jaw, “Like we were made to be together.”

You wrap your ankles around his waist as you expose your throat for him, it’s an unspeakable act of submission to a human. But you don’t care, you war with the monstrous instinct that makes your blood boil. You want to give Simon this, this symbolic gesture of equality. What he does with it, you dare to hope will change things for the better between you.

No more invisible noose around his neck, nor stake pressed to your heart.

He presses his cheek to your own, his scent invading your senses as you wrap your arms around his back, digging your nails into him as he slowly pulls almost all the way out.

“Bite me again,” he whispers against your skin, right where your pulse once throbbed, “I can take it.”

“Simon, I-,” you’re cut off by the arcing pain that erupts from your neck as he sinks his blunt, inefficient teeth into your neck, sucking wildly as he snaps his hips into you. He groans into your neck as the loud, wet slapping of skin on skin weaves through the air between you.

Pleasure rips through you as he splits you in two on his cock. It’s maddening as you feel another orgasm flaring hot at the base of your spine. You can’t help the way your fangs slide back over your lips as his sweat glistens on his neck. His blood pulses visibly under his skin as you let go, lips pressing to the thrum of his lifeblood. It echoes in your mind as you taste the salt of his skin.

“Please,” he growls one more time before you lose your grip on your carefully cultivated self-control.

Your fangs sink into his skin and you drink greedily the moment the tang of his blood hits your lips. Your pussy clenches like a vice around him as he ruts into you, desperate noises spilling from his mouth as he bites you again and again.

You take from him as his thrusts increase in pace, your release crackling up your spine as you try to last a little longer. Honey and cinnamon, spill onto your tongue as you gulp down more than you should. But Simon doesn’t falter, his pace punishing as he chases his own release now.

“Simon,” you whine as you force yourself to stop, “I’m gonna come.”

“Do it, milk me dry, fucking- hah- please.”

You do as instructed, a coy smile on your lips as you realise you enjoy being dictated to by him. Your orgasm blurs the line between your bodies as you clench hard around him in desperate, erratic bursts. You pull him into a kiss, letting him taste himself as your tongues tangle together. You swallow his shallow moans as his rhythm falters and he snaps his hips into you twice more before he’s buried to the hilt, filling you with his spend.

You’re bound together in a mess of hot and cold limbs, Simon’s ragged breaths fanning across your skin as he kisses you, and kisses you, and kisses you until you have to roll him onto his side to stop him.

“Enough,” you scold him playfully as you curl into the deep warmth of his form.

You lie there quietly for some time before you feel the tension leave his body, his breathing slows and you hear the telltale sign of sleep in his heartbeat. You peel yourself out of his embrace to clean up in the bathroom down the hall. It’s not strictly necessary, but you were a sucker for sexual hygiene in life, you were never going to give that up, even in undeath.

Once you’ve washed up, you head back to your bedroom, grabbing Simon some water and a protein bar on the way.

He’s exactly where you left him, sound asleep as his blood smears against the sheets around him. It’s a beautiful sight, seeing him like this, exhausted and sated but not broken. It’s not something you’re used to, not something you ever thought you’d see.

“Come back to bed,” he grumbles, and you can’t help but smile as you throw the bottle of water and snack onto the bed next to him.

“Only after you’ve eaten something and drink all of that water,” you protest as you settle on your knees next to him. You refrain from touching him as your euphoria ebbs, there’s a bitterness clinging to you as you realise that you’ve lured him back into danger.

“It’s ok,” he says as he rips open the packaging of the snack bar, “I’m ok.”

He rests a broad palm on your knee and you feel the assurance flood your mind. He’s baring his heart and soul to you through your bond and you nod. Despite the fear in your gut that threatens to devore you whole, you believe him.

“So,” you start as you watch Simon finish off the protein bar, “You going to tell me who I need to murder?”

“What?” He nearly chokes on a mouthful of water as you feel the panic rise in his chest.

“You had help,” you say, probing against his mind with your own, “With this.”

“Ah,” he chuckles as he flops back on the bed, “Yeah, Johnny’s been helping me with it, with everything.”

“Son of a bitch,” you grumble as you realise Soap has probably seen more of you through Simon’s mind’s eye than you’d like.

“He got a nip slip, of sorts,” Simon grumbles as his cheeks flush pink, “Asked me to think of the strongest memory, focus on it, channel it,” the aforementioned memory rippling into your mind as you watch yourself, asleep in Simon’s bed. It’s from the first time Simon let you feed from him, you’re splayed out under a simple sheet, moonlight illuminating your form. Your left breast is uncovered as you watch Simon move the sheet back up to cover you.

“I remember this night,” you say with a smile playing on your lips, “We fucked like rabbits,” you giggle to yourself as you feel a new wave of emotion rush in through your bond.

“Thrall or not,” he says with a heavy sigh as he pulls you down to lie on his chest, “It was the first night I knew this was more than a fling.”

And you feel the truth in his words, the raw honesty and the clarity in his mind. It sets your mind at ease, for the first time in months, you don’t feel like you’re damned to ruin him. You rest on his chest as his heart hammers in his chest, a deep rhythm etched into your soul.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you feel his breathing slow as sleep threatens to take him.

“For what?” He asks, thick fingers tracing patterns on your back as he holds you impossibly close.

“For trusting me, for getting better,” you breathe as you place sloppy kisses to his pectoral.

“Was selfish,” he shrugs it off as he places a kiss to the top of your head, “Can’t love you if I’m dead, can I?”

“No,” you shake your head, “I guess you can’t.”

There’s an unspoken understanding, flowing between your psychic link as you vow to keep him safe. To keep him by your side. For as long as he wants you.

You eventually settle back under the sheets, tangled together, saying little as you pull the blankets around you both. You know this isn’t perfect, that there is work you and Simon need to do, things that need to be said. You know there will be more pain to come but for now you’re content to exist in this moment a little longer.

And for the first time since you died, you feel warm.

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