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Hello. I saw the open request box and I didn’t know if you would be open to write something for Bjorn? Is he a character that you like? Do you have a favourite character from Series Vikings? I read a lot of your work and it’s so beautiful. Would you be able to write something about and obsessed Bjorn with reader and maybe some smuttyness ✨✨✨Mybe she joins him on the first trip to the Mediterranean 😍😍Andhe can see her from the ship across speaking to Floki and Helga ?
loyal dishonesty
Björn x neutral!reader
Björn: A man obsessing over you
Summary: Björn, who is known to be an adventurous and lustful lover, finally caught an endless desire: you. Though, how is he to portray his passion and admiration towards you?
Note: Thank you for your request! Björn is an... okay character. I rewatched the series so many times and with every rewatch I'm able to like him more. Still, he's far away from being a favorite. 😭 I love Ivar and Floki, as well as Helga and Torvi. Also - the smüt might be a little... Well, I usually don't write smüt. 🫠
Warnings: a little smüt, lustful behavior
Word Count: -
♡....━━━━━━━........ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ........━━━━━━━....♡
⚜️ When Björn fell for you, his attention became laser-focused on you. The first spark emerged just like with other women, though with you he felt he couldn't reach you. You were different - hard to get yet playful. He's known for his ambition and drive, but when he's in love, that intensity is redirected towards his beloved. His mind desired you, his body burned for your touch and his eyes were always glued on your very beautiful features. Every decision he made was influenced by thoughts of you.
⚜️ He kindly offered you drinks, a lovely chat or a sweet tease to make him seem interesting. Your personality was not only captivating but making him obsessive. Björn's love manifested as a fierce protectiveness - and an unhealthy obsession with you. He was almost obsessive about keeping you safe, especially on the way to the Mediterranean Sea. He secretly checked on you - your health, your daily activities and your bonds with others.
⚜️ Although his history with cheating is well known, he's also a jealous person. He despised to view you with other men or women who glared at you with lust. Björn felt entitled to you as if he had owned the right to you. No one should come too close, no one should touch your precious body without his permission. Though you weren't his, he still kept barging in whenever a person insisted perverted intentions.
⚜️ Björn is not one who opens up. He prefers to be viewed as the strong provider, a fearless man and a good soldier. However everyone is vulnerable. Björn found himself in a difficult position: he wanted to be vulnerable to show you his honest love though he didn't want to lose his identity as a powerful man. Throughout your time together you watched the thick wall break into pieces little by little. You learned about his flaws, his emotional struggles and especially about his insufferable self esteem. Deep inside he was more insecure than you ever had anticipated. Nevertheless you loved him for sharing that with you which was another reason to never let you go. You knew things no one else was supposed to know. In order to keep his secrets hidden, he needed to make you his. His only.
⚜️ As Björn's love deepens, so does his desperation to hold onto it. Emotions crept up his mind he had never encountered before with anyone else. A strange feeling, robbing his thoughts at night. He fears losing you, his passion, more than anything else and is willing to go to extreme lengths to keep you by his side, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness or ambitions. You did not only entertain him, you showed him how true love looked like. The feeling of your warmth was unique and too worthy to ever let go of. Your embrace motivated him to fight for his ambitions but you also scared him. You could not only pass away during battle, but sicknesses also haunt people's lives. A constant bitter taste - one that made him into a loyal husband.
⚜️ His care showed through intimate times as well. Whenever you begged him for nightly adventures, he was more than ready to fulfill your desires. However, in the back of his foggy mind, he would always make sure you're comfortable. Scaring you or hurting you during such vulnerable actions frightened him. Even if his thrusts were rough and heavy, his hands kept softly petting your shoulders.
⚜️ His obsession with you came so far, that he never engages in positions where he can't see your face. Oh, how he adores your flushed red face, your closed eyes and the messy hair of yours. Björn was convinced he would miss out on your heavenly being if the two of you would not see each other during the deed.
⚜️ Björn is a master of seduction, and he loves to show his affection through physical intimacy. Whatever he lays his eyes on isn't safe from his flirtatious attempts. Especially with you he loved to take his time. Playfulness was a form of embracing his love: he would tease you, give you soft pecks and would tickle you only to hear you laugh. From tender caresses to steamy embraces, every touch is filled with desire and longing. He'll tease and flirt shamelessly, always keeping you on your toes with his witty banter and mischievous grin. After all, you were the one for him.
♡....━━━━━━━........ 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ........━━━━━━━....♡
#vikings x you#vikings x reader#vikings#vikings bjorn#bjorn ironside#bjorn x reader#Bjorn x you#bjorn headcanons#bjorn hcs
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Obey me mom mc baby’s first word is calling the the brothers daddy if you are ok with it
The Brothers reactions to Mc's kid calling them daddy
Warning(s): cussing, not edited
A/N: sorry but I dont do fem readers so mc is gn in this. Thank you for requesting!
[Side character ver]
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Lucifer
Diavolo had called you for a last minute meeting and Luci was happy to babysit.
He was in his study doing paperwork with the kiddo playing with a little toy on his lap and babbling to themself away
he wasn't really paying too close of attention to what they were saying
it's normal for children around their age to babble and try to talk and imitate what the people around them are saying.
did that make sense? I'm trying to sound smart I don't even know if that's true honestly
But he dropped his pen
and almost the baby
when he felt them tug at his tie and start stumbling saying daddy.
He quickly gained his composure and held them closer to him and continued to work
with a very obvious smirk
that may or may not have slowly turned into a warm lil smile
Overall, rly fuckin happy, might even very subtly brag to his brothers about this. He won't tell you about this btw, he wants you to have that first word moment with them.
Mammon
Screamed
the bby started crying then he also started crying and panicking.
He was babysitting for you like usual,
he always insisted on being the person to do it
even if he was busy from sunrise to sunset, he would still demand to he the one to take care of them when you couldn't.
The two of them were relaxing on his bed with the baby on his chest, surrounded by all their favorite stuffed animals
all of which he got them
anyway, they started playing with his glasses and babbling like crazy
neither of which were that much out of the ordinary, they have been very talkative and grabby lately
but when they babbled he always responded and had very long entertaining conversations with them,
he does this with babies you can not change my mind
then the baby started slapping his chest and saying dada over and over again.
Like I said, he screamed, bby cried, he cried, then nap.
When you get back you find them asleep cuddling on Mammon's bed
and obv you join them.
Overall, he is going to brag to EVERYONE about this, surprise surprise. He takes that title with so much pride that Lucifer would tell him to pump the brakes.
Levi
Surprised pikachu face
even if he spent every waking hour with your baby and specifically taught them to call him daddy
he would still be very shocked.
He was showing the lil goblin some baby friendly games while you were taking a nap in the bathtub bed
they kept trying to take the controller from him
but he wouldn't allow it, it was one of his favorites and he didn't want them to get all their baby slime on it.
The baby would start to get fussy but then he would find a way to calm them down somehow
this carried on for a little while until the baby hit his chest and yell dada.
Like I said he was in shock, for a long while too, the kid managed to get the controller from him, and only snapped out of it when you shook him asking if he was okay.
Overall, he thinks he was hearing things, it will take at least 10 more times for him to finally believe it, and honestly he doesn't know how to feel about it and will prob go into an excisional crisis of sorts.
Satan
You were exhausted from studying for exams and really needed some sleep
and Satan was more than happy to offer you some help with your child and give you a chance to sleep
so now here we are
Satan sitting in a rocking chair reading a book to the baby who he is cradling in his free arm.
At first the bby was very talkative, babbling all about, and playing with anything they could get their hands on
eventually tho he got them to calm down enough to, seemingly, pay attention to the story he was reading to them
sometimes they'd grab at the book when there was an illustration on the page
to which he'd bring the book close to them so they could touch it.
Eventually the little one started to get sleepy and drifted off to sleep
with quite the grip of Satan's shirt
their quiet nonsensical babbling never stopped tho
but that was alright, he found it very amusing and adorable and was content in watching them rest
that was unit he was able to make sense of the word daddy
he was shocked but just shook it off and held them just a bit tighter.
Overall, he is so happy! will rub it in Lucifer's face he also doesn't tell, he thinks you should have the joy of hearing your child's first words, and will also try and teach them your parental title to them.
Asmo
Squealed so loud I'm p sure a few windows broke.
He was hanging out in your room with you and your baby for the day
watching movies
cuddling
yatta yatta you get the idea
anyway, the bby was playing on the floor surrounded by their toys on the floor while you two were doing ya thing
then they started babbling at Asmo trying to get his attention and show him a toy
he thought it was cute and pretended not to hear them
and it was all giggles with yall unit the kid threw the toy at him and yelled,
"DADA!"
you two were stunned
to stunned to speak
but when you did get yalls shit together he picks them up and did a lil spin around squeal.
He instantly rushed to the store with them to find matching clothes and new toys.
Overall, if you couldn't tell already he's quite happy, and he will rub it in everyone's faces. He may have cried a little bit but he surprisingly didn't care all that much
Beel
He and the lil stinker were hanging out together in the kitchen
well kinda hanging out?
he was making dinner with them strapped to his chest in that baby carrying thing
I think that counts.
Anyway, like I said he was cooking,
he'd taste test it then let the baby taste test it as well
only when it was safe for them ofc
and he'd change it a bit if they didn't like it.
Eventually the food got to a point where the baby really liked it and kept grabbing his hand when he tried to take the spoon away
but he managed to gently take it away and continue cooking
the kid was not pleased by this and started throwing a little fit
and Beel was quick to start rocking them so they'd calm down
didn't work very well
all he got out of trying to calm them down was a chocked out a little,
"dAdDY-"
which did nothing but shatter his heart
and he quickly went to you for help.
Overall, shocked for like the splitest of seconds then quickly went back to fulfilling the title, he does mention it to you, he wants you to know about your babies first word.
Belphie
Confused and pleasantly surprised...
This man constantly demands cuddles and naps
and the fact that you have a child changes almost nothing
only adds another member to the mandatory cuddle party.
Yall were in said mandatory nap
which was much needed for you, you were fuckin exhausted
and so was Belphie, as always
but the baby...
not so much, so they woke up before either of you
but do not worry
they made it their mission to wake the sleeping demon.
They started by climbing onto his chest and slapping his chest/face
and obv it didn't work at first so they upped the antics a bit.
Belphie eventually woke up to tiny hands slapping him and a tiny voice yelling
"DADDY"
over and over again.
He was very shocked, he picked them up and sat up to make sure he wouldn't go instantly back to sleep
for a minute he thought he might have been dreaming but when another giggly "Daddy!" came out of the mashed potato shaped being, he sighed and laid back down with them on his chest.
Overall, like I said he is presently surprised, he'll tell you when you all wake up again. also refuses to let them go for the next week.
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#obey me#obey me hc#obey me satan#obey me lucifer#obey me leviathan#obey me mammon#obey me asmodeus#obey me belphie#obey me beelzebub#obey me brothers#obey me boys#obey me fluff#obey me crack#obey me mc#obey me baby#obey me headcanons#obey me requests#obey me x reader#headcanon
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♠️♥️ Lyney x Reader♥️♠️
Synopsis: Reader has some serious escapist tendencies, no friends anymore, and lives in a shell they are too afraid to crawl out of because they perceive reality as disgusting and mundane nowadays. What happens when a certain magician shows them that reality can still be beautiful as a way to thank them for the freedom they inadvertently granted him with?
!!SPOILERS FOR THE ARCHON QUEST!!
This is kinda long! I also made it at 1 AM so if there are any errors it's cuz of that ('□`) I personally have been going through some things and have been finding a lot of comfort in this goofy ol'magician. So sorry if this has some darkers tones than my usual stuff! I tried to keep reader as gender neutral as I could by not name dropping anyone and only referring to them as "You" variations. If there is a slip up please tell me!
You're hardwired to be an extrovert, but you exist in an environment and place that shuns you and forces you into a shell.
You've had your voice ripped from your throat one too many times and you've been silenced for nothing more than a mere giggle.
You were raised in an isolated world, away from humanity and it's harsh reality.
You didn't have any friends growing up except for the occasional child of a parent's friend who would visit.
Your siblings would hide away and your father would yell all the time. Your mother was always at work. Your friends were in your worlds of fiction and your books. The drawings you began to make to see these adventures you had with them.
You don't know how real people act or how to speak with them, treating everything like dialogue in a book.
Friends you had made at one point eventually coined you as toxic because of your inability to speak with any of them properly. Perhaps you should've tried harder. No, you definitely should have tried harder.
Perhaps they would still be here if you had made more drawings for them. Maybe if you had kept your opinions to yourself. Maybe if you had just smiled and nodded. Maybe they would still be here.
You became a shell. Hiding yourself away from any possible relationships. Keeping yourself away from anyone else you could possibly hurt with your ignorance. You had friends, it's not like you were lonely. The characters you read about and drew all the time were your friends.
Yet, they began to feel empty. You began to feel empty. Focusing all your time on honing your talent and living in a world of fiction reality became bland. Disgusting even. This only drove you to hide away from it even more.
You were lonely, craving friends and love you knew you couldn't let yourself have. It was like an addiction. You had it once and now you want it more. But nothing else ever hits like that first high does, right?
For the sake of everyone else around you, you cut them all off. You were stung once. Being shelter your whole life you didn't know how to handle it. You gave up on everything and everyone.
You felt hollow.
You met him after one of his shows.
The magician was so insistent you see his next one.
You supposed it couldn't hurt.
So you arrived at his next one.
And then the next.
And the next.
Until you began to see every show of his.
He would speak to you after each one, ask you how your day was. He would tell you about his.
Even after he was ousted as a member of the fatui you still saw his shows. You still spoke with him. It was as if you didn't even care.
Something about him and his magic, the reality bending of it all was beautiful. The most beautiful thing you had seen in ages.
It didn't feel real, yet it was. It was magnificent. He was magnificent.
Nothing could change that. Especially not something as silly as a title or affiliations.
As far as you were concerned, he was wonderful.
Even after he began to show you his true colours.
He had shown you something beautiful, and for that you could only appreciate every side of him.
Everything about him was addictive, every single part and side. Every nook and cranny. Both sides of the beautiful coin.
That's when you realised you became too attached.
You didn't want to ruin something so beautiful with your thorns, so you stopped attending his shows.
Stopped seeing him all together.
You couldn't tarnish something so glorious by hurting the person responsible for it. You couldn't hurt the majesty of it all. The majesty he showed you.
He noticed you stopped attending his shows immediately.
He sought after you for ages. Since you hardly leave you house only for food he didn't find you for a while.
However, once he did he wouldn't leave.
He followed you around, asking all about where you had been.
You wouldn't respond.
All though he wouldn't speak of it, you in a way provided him with a sense of comfort.
You didn't even question him once after he was revealed to be of the House of Hearth.
All though you loved him for being able to break reality, you weren't a monster. You never forced him to keep up his acts. You knew even someone as talented as he needs breaks.
So when he approached you, his hair unstyled and in plain wear with nothing more than a mere request of comforting silence or idle chatter not regarding his work you obliged.
He felt as if he could show both sides of himself to you, both sides of that coin. He could be as flashy or as monotonous as he wished. You granted him a sort of freedom.
He became very quickly attached to you.
When you stopped showing up to his performances he panicked.
Perhaps you were tired of his antics?
It took a long time, but you eventually did open up about why you stopped showing up.
He felt a side of him ache.
You were just about as alone in this world as he was, yet not at the same time.
He had his siblings to talk to, the blonde traveller to talk to. You seemed to have no one.
To learn his shows were a break from the world you viewed of rancid initially and how it brought you to love every part of him.
How ethereal he was to you.
And how you were afraid you would grow obsessive and toxic and how you didn't want that for him.
How he had been the closest thing you've had to a friend in years and how attached you had become.
How worried you were for him, how you adored him so much you were willing to cut yourself away if it meant keeping him safe from something potentially toxic. Even if it meant sacrificing your own happiness.
He wouldn't let you feel this way, no, he couldn't let you feel this way anymore.
He assured you that he would never run away, no matter what sides of yourself you were to show him. After all, you did the same for him.
He would understand and help you learn how to make friends, how to properly interact with others. Yet, he would want you to be the same around him.
In a way, he wanted to help you build a mask to wear like he does but still provide you with people you can be yourself around.
He thinks you are wonderful and misunderstood, yet he understands not all can see that. He wants to protect you like he does his siblings.
It's the only way he knows how to help, and you don't seem to mind either. He can't change everyone or anyone's opinion of you. Those are to each their own. But you can. And he can help you find a way to do that.
He doesn't want you to change who you are, but but doesn't want you to feel isolated and alone anymore either.
So a removable mask seems as if it's the best answer, no?
He also introduces you to his siblings and a blonde traveller along with their adventuring party. You meet a large amount of kind people including a young man who visually strikes quite a similar appearance to your friendly magician with a platinum blonde ponytail and bright crimson eyes and a young woman with a long, pink ponytail that fades to a blue and eyes that seem to have seen things beyond the scope of what a woman her age normally would have.
If you begin to feel nervous making so many new friends and with things changing so quickly, he doesn't hesitate to take things slower. He isn't afraid to make any adjustments for you.
He isn't afraid to return the feeling of freedom you blessed him with, so let him crack that shell of yours and help you spread your wings to soar out of that black abyss of isolation you've been drowning yourself in.
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Okay so @green-tea217 requested that I share this fanfic based on this post that I made.
I never usually post my fanfics, but I’m feeling brave. This one isn’t finished, but I’ll post the first chapter ‘cause I’m really proud of it. I’m working on the other fanfics that were requested, but I’m posting this one first because I’ve worked rlly had on it.
Summary: Kind of an OC/FanChild fic about my hcs for Percabeth’s kids. VERY Leo/Nico heavy bc they’re my two favourite characters, particularly Leo.
TWs: Swearing, lack of smut (she is a teenager)
Disclaimers: I was still reading SoN when I wrote this chapter, and I am currently on HoH, so if I’ve missed anything that gets revealed later, that’s why. Also I listened to the audiobooks, so if I spell a name wrong, that’s also why, either that or I’ve spelt something the British way.
Chapter 1:
Olympia hated stories.
She hated telling them. She hated hearing them. She hated the way they were often twisted and bent to contain some kind of message. She hated the theatrics of sharing them around the fire, the hushed voices and dramatic tone. And she hated how every story she heard was almost always about her dad.
Olympia Grace Jackson-Chase.
Of course.
For as long as she can remember, people had told her stories about her parents. About her and her birth. How she had been born on Olympus. How Apollo himself had delivered her, and named her “Olympia Grace” so that it would rhyme with her last name. That wasn’t entirely true. “Grace” was the last name of her Auntie Thalia and Uncle Jason. She hated the stories about them too- about all her parents’ friends. They were myths and legends in the eyes of the other campers, to her they were just people who babysat her sometimes. The Cabin 9’ers had been shocked when she’d told them that the heroic son of Hephaestus who had saved the world from Gaea and her evil forces was actually just Little Uncle Leo, and the first Fire User in three and a half centuries isn’t very mythical and legendary when he’s running in from the kitchen, waving a tea-towel at the fire alarm and yelling “Oh shit, the guacamole’s on fire. I set the guacamole on fire. Don’t tell your mom.”
People never wanted to hear those stories. Only the exiting and dangerous ones.
“Percy Jackson fought the Minotaur when he was only ten years old!!!”
“Percy Jackson keeps insisting I tidy my room.”
Suffice it to say, she was sick of it.
“Dad,” she asked, approaching the kitchen table.
Perseus Jackson, the man, the myth, the legend himself, looked up from his comic book and ginned at her.
“What is it, dolphin?”
“Can you… like… not send me to camp this year?”
Her dad frowned, put The Amazing Spider-Man down on the table and leaned back in his chair.
“Why? What’s up? Are the other campers not nice to you there?”
“It’s not that… in fact, it’s the opposite. The attention is getting too much. I wanna learn to fight, but… I’d rather you just teach me yourself. You can show me how to use my water powers.”
“Oly, I know it’s hard, especially as you’re one of the first Legacies at Camp Half-Blood. I can absolutely arrange for you to not go anymore if you don’t want to… but there’s only so much I can teach you on my own, particularly with your mother’s workload. I want to make sure you’d be protected. Could you maybe give it a try, please?”
Olympia was pretty sure she’d been “giving it a try” for the last 14 summers, but she didn’t want to argue with her dad.
“Fine,” she said.
“That’s my girl,” he beamed, “Now, remember to pack your armour for Capture the Flag, I don’t want to have to drive out there and back just ‘cause you forgot it again.”
She sighed and left the room.
She just wished that he had stayed in the car when he’d dropped her off, but no. He insisted on walking with her to the Big House, saying hello to Chiron and generally being a huge embarrassment. It didn’t take long for the crowds of campers to form around them, whispering behind their hands. She hugged her dad, and said goodbye to him as quickly as she could.
She dumped her things in the Poseidon Cabin. She was allowed in both her mom and her dad’s old cabins, but she preferred to be alone to sleep. She did her activities with the Athena kids though, she didn’t want to stand out any more than she already did.
Olympia sat alone, perched on the edge of the Athena table, when suddenly a kid shuffled up next to her. She looked about twelve, with the same grey eyes of her mother.
“What’s your name?” The girl asked.
“Olympia Jackson-Chase,” Olympia sighed.
“I’ve noticed you doing cabin activities with us, but you don’t sleep with the other Athenians? What’s up with that?”
Olympia took a deep breath, and began to explain, “I’m a-“
“Wait. Jackson-Chase?” The kid gasped.
Oh, here we go, Olympia thought, preparing for the usual swooning and/or geeking out.
“Your mother was Annabeth Chase?”
Olympia was slightly taken aback, “Usually, people talk mostly about my father. I’m always “The daughter of Percy Jackson,” never “the daughter of Annabeth Chase.””
“Oh but she’s a legend! She re-designed Olympus! She led our cabin in battle against the Titans! She even held up the sky! I mean, I know your dad did that too, but-“
“She did it for longer. She was under that thing for over a day, he only held it for at most 20 minutes.”
The girl laughed.
“And, if you ask me, she was the one who did all the work when it came to defeating Kronos. Dad did jack shit, just handed a knife to a guy.”
“Exactly! Just because he was in the Prophecy-“
“Nah, it’s a lot simpler than that,” Olympia said, “It’s because he’s a man.”
They sat in silence for a bit.
She never blamed her dad for overshadowing her mom. He didn’t mean to. In fact, he openly hated the stories that didn’t recognise her for all she did. They were so in love, it was sickening.
“I can’t believe she’s, like, my sister.”
The girl gasped, and grabbed Olympia’s arm, “Wait, does that make me your aunt?”
Olympia shook her head, “Don’t bother with family trees, man, otherwise you get into the whole “my dad’s dad is my mom’s mom’s uncle, which makes me kinda my mom’s second cousin, and my dad her cousin-once-removed”- it’s just too much to get your head around.”
She looked directly into the girl’s grey eyes, “My advice, kid, believe whatever bullshit they tell you about the Gods not having DNA, and just try not to think about it.”
The girl’s face fell. “Oh.”
Then she looked exited again, “Did you come out of her tummy or her head like I did with my mom?”
And there we go, Olympia thought. Geez, they didn’t hesitate to ask the really invasive questions, did they?
She took her three-pronged fork out of her pocket, and fidgeted with it, twirling it in her fingers. Instantly, she realised her mistake.
“Why do you carry a fork around and never eat with it?” The girl asked. More questions.
Might at well get it over with, she thought.
“Gift from Grandpa,” she replied.
“A gift from Poseidon? What does it do?”
She sighed again, and dangled the fork over the girl’s glass of orange juice, and let go. It dropped into the glass with a satisfying plop, and then rose to the surface. No, it wasn’t rising. It was growing. It’s shaft elongated, and the prongs stretched to become longer and way more deadly. Intricate designs started carving itself into the metal. Olympia stood up, and grabbed the shaft of the fork just as it finished growing. A three-pronged death skewer of pure celestial bronze. A Trident.
The surrounding campers gaped at her, open-mouthed.
“Woah,” said one of the Hephaestus campers, clearly someone who hadn’t seen the spectacle before.
“OLYMPIA JACKSON-CHASE! NO WEAPONS AT THE DINNER TABLE! CAMP RULES! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT!!”
“Sorry Chiron,” Olympia called. She twisted a little ring of metal around the shaft of the trident, and it shrank back into a fork. She sat back down.
“It responds to water,” she explained, “get it wet, and boom, Trident.”
She had named it Blue. It was her first word, after all. Or at least, that was the story. Poseidon had given it to her on her second birthday, and she had just looked at it, holding it in her tiny fist, and cried “bloooo!” It was probably just baby babbling, but Dad said it counted.
“So what’s Poseidon like? Do you have water powers too? Can you get me your mom’s autograph? Is your dad really 7ft tall?”
She ate the rest of her lunch in silence, only answering the onslaught of questions from the young camper when she had to.
Cabin 3 offered a pleasant respite from the crowds and the people. She dropped her armour and weapons from the day’s activites by the door and kicked off her shoes.
She looked at herself in the mirror.
(Drawing of Olympia: Art by me)
Her curly black hair, which she’d dyed the tips of blonde, was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Around her neck hung a necklace of leather chord, fourteen different coloured beads threaded onto them, each painted with a different design. Her broad shoulders and thick muscles bulged through her plain navy-blue tank top. Her skin was tanned from spending long hours training in the sun. She had a battle-hardened look to her that meant people often mistook her for a daughter of Ares. But her eyes was what made her stand out most- one grey, like her mother, one green, like her father. Her parents had told her how her birth had ended the centuries-long feud between Poseidon and Athena for good, and she had been given those eyes as a way of symbolising that. Another story. It felt like every part of her body had been attached to a story about something her parents had done. Why couldn’t she just be herself? She had spent 16 years living under the shadow of her parents, she was homeschooled from an early age, and had been going to camp since before she could even hold a sword- the demigod life was all she’d ever known. Someday, she’d get away from it all. She’d sink to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and just study the fish, and she wouldn’t have to worry about people or monsters
Suddenly, she felt something tap her on her shoulder. Quick as lightning, she grabbed Blue and spun around. Blue, still in fork form, was about a centimetre away from the neck of her intruder, who held up his hands in surrender.
“Whoah there!” He said.
When she saw who it was, she lowered the weapon and pulled him into a tight hug.
“Leo!” She cried.
“Hey, how’s my favourite cousin? Or… whatever.”
She looked at him and smiled. Despite him being old enough to be her dad, he was about half her size. With a thin, wiry frame and very little meat on his bones. His wild, curly brown hair framed his pointed face and elfish features. His dark skin was covered in a thin layer of motor oil and grime of unknown origin. He tapped her cheek affectionately, leaving a grubby handprint on her face. He walked over to her bed and leaped onto the top bunk, his legs dangling off the ladder.
“You need to stop growing,” he instructed, “You are getting too big, it’s not fair.”
“You need to stop being so short,” Olympia retorted, then her face broke into a huge smile, “I feel like I never see you anymore!”
“I know, you’re too old for me to babysit now, kiddo,” He complained.
“Well that always ended in disaster anyway. There’s still burn marks on that wall.”
“Did your mom find out?” He asked.
“Nope. Dad told her he just wanted to hang more pictures up. And then he went on a long speech about how nice she looked in that wedding photo, and then took her out for ice cream. I think she bought it.”
“Good.”
They stayed in comfortable silence for a few seconds, and then she asked, “So… it’s great that you’re here and all, but… why are you here?”
“What, I can’t come and visit my favourite partner in crime every now and then?”
“Leo…” Her tone was firm.
Leo’s face was suddenly dark and serious, he paused before speaking, but said, “I think I have news about your brother.”
That was Chapter 1- if this post gets… let’s say… 30 notes, I’ll post Chapter 2.
#percy jackson#pjo fandom#percy jackson fandom#pjo#pjo hoo toa#percy x annabeth#percy and annabeth#percabeth#annabeth percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#percababies#percabeth fanfic#percy jackson fanfiction#percy jackson fic#leo valdez fanfic#leo valdez pjo#pjo leo#leo pjo#leo valdez#pjo fanfic#pjo books#pjoverse#annabeth pjo#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus fanfiction#fanfics#fanfiction#oc art#my ocs#PJO- THE NEXT GENERATION: OLYMPIA JACKSON-CHASE CHRONICLES
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One thing abt Sean that I really like is that he never really teases Arthur for being stupid. The only time I've seen him do it, has been when Arthur starts it by calling Sean stupid and Sean being like "well youd know, wouldnt you" -- not even denying it but grabbing at the chance to enjoy some banter.
I think it probably has a lot to do with the fact that Sean doesn't think Arthur is dumb. It'd be a bit "throwing stones in glass houses" to call a man who reads and writes unintelligent, when you can't read and write, and that ability is seen as a hallmark for intelligence by most of your contemporaries.
It's just a nice difference from a fair amount of other people in the gang. Arthur's teased for his intelligence a lot, whether warranted or not, but Sean, who is seen picking on the rest of the gang a fair amount, doesn't really bring up this as a thing with Arthur.
Instead, what Sean harps on, is Arthur having English heritage -- which arguably isn't even true. More importantly, it's something Arthur doesn't really care about, beyond being annoyed by Sean's insistence on bringing it up as often as he does. Which means it's a safe topic! Sean can tease Arthur about this and be sure it won't be taken harsher than what it is; light hearted.
I feel like that's the case with a majority of Sean's interactions in camp. He's trying to bring some light-heartedness and fun in, and he does that in the way he knows best, while toeing the line as best he can. I have thoughts in this regard because you do see him stepping back when he realizes he might have overstepped (like with Javier), as well as show some genuine disapproval in other interactions (usually when related back to his own heritage and home; failing to connect with Molly due to class differences, for example, or getting mad about how Colm's name is pronounced).
I think about how many camp interactions he has with Kieran a lot; they have a fair amount, and you can actually learn a fair amount about Kieran from Sean asking questions. The way their relationship evolves from Sean headbutting Kieran while drunk, to genuinely listening to him talk about his life and about Colm, is very interesting to me. Sean very clearly wants a connection; in the same way he very clearly wants a connection with Molly.
But it's not just about how he clearly wants to connect with anything and anyone who reminds him of home. It's also about how he interacts with everyone else in the gang. It's about a majority of his teasing usually not actually being that offensive. It's about Dutch yelling at Sean when he's not being the silly goofy camp clown.
I think I lost the plot at some point in here but I wanna end this with saying that I think Sean clearly is cast as this role in the gang that he has to navigate as best he can, and he's barely allowed to be seen beyond that role if you don't pay him attention. But he clearly cares, a lot, and it shows in how he chooses to fill that role. And I think it's a little sad that he's often reduced to the silly clown or stupid bully that he's expected to be, because I think there's more to his character worthy of exploration and discussion.
#sean macguire#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#teki talks#long post#i have so many thoughts about this man this isnt even the half of it#but it does get a little into why I've written him as I have in AV#if youve been watching my activity here the past few months me posting sean macguire meta should NOT come as a surprise#there's more where this one came from#rdr thoughts
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nen mating season. horny thoughts abt celeste. the fic.
Hello! Thank you for the request! I do love Nelice... and I will always have a soft spot for my sad, little boy Nen. I hope you enjoy despite his misery!! I hope I didn't get anything wrong about Alice... Mayhaps BB should write a Nelice fic so I can know more about how she'd act...
Character: Nen, Alice Word Count: 1193 Scenario: Mating season Nen Warnings: Slight NSFW, Nen's usual level of angst and self-loathing, implied past non-con
Nen
Nen absolutely hated this feeling.
He’d experienced it before, yes, but usually he was alone. He’d crawl into a lake, sink to the bottom and curl into a ball until the cold comfort of the water had cooled the heat in his loins. For as long as it could at least. It only happened twice per year, lasting a couple of months, and during those months, the heat would come and go in waves every couple of days in a way that annoyed him more than anything else.
He hated this natural instinct in him that told him he needed to breed. He didn’t want offspring. He had no interest in things such as ‘sex’ to begin with. He hated the burning heat in his chest… the fuzzy heat in his mind… Anything hot was bad. The cold and damp had never hurt him.
It was difficult to default to his usual routine now of hiding away and waiting now. There was this… this… complication.
The human woman, Alice.
He hadn’t asked to babysit a human, but the job had been forced upon him when she’d stumbled into his forest. If he didn’t watch this human, who knew what atrocities she might commit? Despite her apparent stupidity, she could have any number of tricks up her sleeve. At any moment, she’d drop this innocent act and reveal her true nature, Nen was sure. He didn’t trust her in the slightest, nor did he like her.
Which made it infinitely more frustrating that it was her causing him all this grief right now.
In the past, his heats eventually died down when his body figured out that he was not about to reproduce anytime soon. There was nothing—none of his people—around for him to talk to, let alone couple with. Now there was Alice, a human, and his natural biology was insistent on telling him that he had to have her.
But he didn’t want to have her. He didn’t want to have sex—he didn’t even want to touch himself. That was giving into desire, and he didn’t like desire either. It felt weird. It felt even weirder when that desire was so palpable and so clearly directed and this one human.
He really didn’t even like Alice. There was simply nothing to like about her. Apart from being human, she was just strange. She talked to herself even when Nen could hear her (he never made any comments), she grew scared and paranoid at nothing at all (then apologised, which Nen found silly) and she was so absent-minded (how many times exactly had he made sure she didn’t wander off into danger?).
Her stories were strange too. He couldn’t read human scripture all that well, so she read them to him instead. They were full of distrust, and the underlying message always seemed to be something along the lines of never relying on anyone, a message Nen found incredibly ironic coming from a human like her. He might’ve forgotten to think that with how well she told her stories—how nice her voice was to just listen to.
Regardless of what she was like as a person, didn’t attraction to a person require one to feel attracted to their appearance? Nen didn’t like Alice’s appearance at all. Her hair was short and dull. Her expression was often flat or morose. She had weird, round ears that were small and went red when it was cold and couldn’t move around her head like his could. She didn’t have a tail nor any horns or scales. She had scars on her legs that he didn’t want to ask about. Her skin was warm like his, and he didn’t like that either.
Sometimes her smile made his heart race. Her waist and stomach looked soft. Her breasts were pert and more than once he’d wondered how it might feel to touch them.
Another reason he didn’t like her. He wouldn’t have to have those thoughts if she was more careful when bathing. Unfortunately for Nen, the image of her raising her arms so she could wash her hair was perfectly preserved in his mind. If he didn’t need to keep watch of her just in case, if she’d just turned away so he didn’t have a chance to look—he wouldn’t have to think about her in the throes of his heat cycle.
He didn’t know what he wanted to do to her. Or maybe he did. He didn’t want to think about that either. His head had been a mess for days and try as he might to ignore Alice or maybe just ditch her for good, he felt guilty and sad at the thought of leaving her alone (again, something that must’ve been her fault). The best he could do was urge her to not wander off nor go anywhere without telling him, and grimace when she had the nerve to look concerned for him with all his sudden urgency. He craved the cold water of the lake.
Nen didn’t properly know how sex even worked. He hadn’t kissed anyone nor touched anyone. He hadn’t even been hugged when he was young, so what on earth was he supposed to know about fornicating with another being beyond what the Elders had briefly told him about how you put your thing into her thing and… so on and so forth. He felt much like an animal cluelessly driven by its instincts despite having no experience whatsoever. His body wanted to do something, but he didn’t know how.
It was honestly quite scary. Alice was a human. Nen was… half of that. This desire he felt must’ve been his father’s disgusting human blood compelling him to want this. To want to pin Alice down and breed her and when it would all be over, she’d suffer the same fate as Nen’s mother and birth another unnatural amalgamation of human and silvaen. It must’ve just been in his blood to repeat the circumstances of his own conception. He really was disgusting and human.
But, he didn’t want Alice to not want him, and he didn’t want to be violent with her either. Maybe he did want to pin her down a little bit, but he wanted her to enjoy it and want him back. It made between his legs hurt with want. A want to see what her pretty face might look like if it had that sort of expression. How it might feel if he really could touch her waist and her stomach and her breasts and between her legs and have him touch him back or kiss him. What it might be like to quench the desire he’d felt many times over, for nothing in particular, that was now so strong for one person.
He didn’t like Alice though, so he didn’t have to give any credence to those thoughts or his desires beyond the fact that his body would naturally want any other living being that happened to be by him before he’d go back to normal and feel none of it anymore. It just so happened to be Alice, and he really didn’t like Alice.
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OPD spoilers up to the end of episode 7, because episode 7 was fun but brain insisted on a couple of thoughts before I can move on (or, apparently, work on thing I was supposed to upload today). Injury warnings, spoiler warnings, and talk about potential death, and also er I've had these characters for one episode running on auto-translated-auto-subtitles. You will pry them from my cold-dead hands, but it's not exactly the best way to study things like speech patterns, especially when my Portuguese is... I can now catch the gist of things and follow the rpg mechanics mostly, but very very far from me being able to use any words? I just kinda can sort of follow via context and stuff I /recognise/ but don't /remember/. Enough rambling, have two guys in a car.
"Where to now?" Johnny asks, as they drive away. "You're the one with the maps."
A groan.
Johnny glances up, checks his partner in the rear-view mirror. Some of his muscles still shift in ways Johnny is pretty sure aren't entirely voluntary, and Rubens holds his entire body like it is in pain. Still, he gives half of a shrug, and keeps looking out of the window.
Johnny is also sore, yes, especially from having been immobilised - but he's /not/ the one whose breathing sounds kind of janky, and hissed when the seatbelt touched his ribs.
"That bad?" He adjusts his question to, glancing up from the road every few seconds.
"Just head home," Rubens answers the first question instead of the second. "We can pick in the morning."
"What morning? It's already gone seven," Johnny takes the turning towards their flat regardless. A pause and then. "You sure you're good just to go home?"
Yes, they need to continue the investigation, but even Johnny can see that Rubens can barely stand; no matter what help they wanted to give those two other agents, it wasn't going to happen.
"What-" Rubens is cut off, hissing, as they go over a bump.
"Yeah, you know what, driver's rules - we're going to the hospital."
Rubens' lack of reply, not even a grimace, is pretty damning. It is also a little worrying, especially with the flinches and extremely deliberate breathing.
It is not that Johnny is paranoid, it's that he knows what that attack did to Johnny himself, and he's gained a decent feel for Rubens' tolerance over the last few months.
He takes the turn towards the hospital, and already starts constructing a lie. Rubens can probably pass for an electrician, and Johnny could have just been helping, and maybe someone turned the mains back on before they were finished? That's got to happen all of the time, right?
"Do you think we'll see them again?" Johnny asks, searching for a conversation topic. He's got to keep driving, but he is more than starting to get worried. "No clue what's up with the boy, but they seemed decent. Good to know the Order's always got people."
Rubens' laugh isn't very happy, "no."
"I thought you were an optimist?"
"Your job," Rubens shifts, seemingly trying to alleviate some discomfort, and only making it worse. "I'd like to, but… you saw them. Injured, electrocuted, and going to where their team went dark? They won't survive. We might not."
It's true, but that doesn't mean he has to say it. There's been a lot of deaths, recently, if what Sam has been telling them is true. Johnny isn't sure, but can't see any reason for Sam to lie about that; Johnny and Rubens have been undercover for months, but have managed to keep themselves above water so far.
A lot of people haven't, though. A great many people haven't.
"You left them your knife," Rubens follows up with.
"Shut up and sort through that notebook instead."
"No." At least he's perked up a little, actually sounding a bit more awake, thinking and shifting a little and worrying his lip before he speaks again. "Maybe they'll surprise me and you'll get it back? Can't read the notebook. The bag is in the boot."
Neither of them comment on how, usually, Rubens would still just lean over and grab it.
"Maps, then?"
He makes a left turn, and they find themselves nearly there.
"They're maps," Rubens replies. "We need the notes to work on a target... Gameshow, orphanage, orphanage, gameshow, Menefreda, puzzles, Energy... I can't see the link; do you think there's any crossover in the cases? Should we ask Samuel for their notes? Something's missing here."
"Can't be sure," Johnny has to focus on this bit of road, busier than the further out streets. "We can ask, though."
"And the girl? Erin? She said the woman's voice was-" Rubens cuts off with a gasp.
Immediately Johnny looks up, checking over his shoulder. Rubens' back is arched and he struggles for air; he shoves on his hazard lights and pulls over before unplugging his seatbelt, and inelegently scrambling across.
By the time he has done so, Rubens' body has relaxed. He has leant back, breathing heavily and clutching at his chest. Johnny places a hand on his back, rubbing a thumb into the twisted muscles there.
"Rubens?" Johnny asks, voice lower. "You good?"
The shudder looks just as involuntary, but a little more normal; Rubens leans slowly forwards, resting only one elbow on his knee, and folding his chin onto it.
One moment, two.
Rubens starts gesturing a reply, only to cut himself off with a wince.
"An answer, please," Johnny keeps his voice low, doing his best to be reassuring.
"I'm good," he answers, blinking fast as he shifts to looking at his hands. "I'm... Good, yes, good. Just, fuck, the speed bump."
Johnny had barely even noticed it; Rubens has got to be much more injured than he looks to react that badly to just a speed bump.
"I'll be more careful," he promises, though he isn't quite sure how. "Good to keep going? We're another ten minutes out, looking at this traffic."
"All good."
It is not quite believable, given everything going on, but Johnny chooses to let it pass. He knows shit all about these things, only that his partner is suffering. He's also suffering, but he's Johnny - he can take it.
Rubens... Not so much. Not really his skill-set; Johnny doesn't jump in the way of fists because he enjoys getting punched, after all.
Choosing to climb back over instead of getting out, Johnny only slightly catches his ankle on the gear-stick. Still, he gets back to the driver's seat safely, turns off the hazard lights, and pulls back into the road.
"Any thoughts so far?" he asks instead.
Johnny can put pressure on a gunshot wound just fine, but electricity is weird. Magic electricity? Even weirder. He does, however, know that so long as everyone is managing coherent conversation he /probably/ can just drive to the hospital instead of faffing with an ambulance.
(Don't they have their own doctor now? Johnny isn't quite sure, but he does know that contacting the Order, outside of secure and prearranged chats with Samuel, is likely to break their cover.)
Rubens shifts his face from side to side, mouthing words to himself and gesturing his hand around in a much more typically Rubens fashion. After a little while he shrugs - only with one shoulder and that's something to make the doctor check - and answers, "hopefully the paperwork is more useful to us; I don't think the Director was actually anyone important. Show, Director, he only does this one bit most likely? And only had, what, five staff members?"
"Barely a crew," Johnny replies. "I don't like the thing with Erin's grandmother - she's definitely not any of the corpses. None were old enough. So why was her voice there?"
"The man too," Rubens replies. "You shouldn't have told them we were Order agents; the cameras were running. Whoever runs it might have heard."
"Shit," Johnny can immediately see the problem but, to be fair, in the moment that had been far from his highest priority. Getting the grenade out already blew more of his cover than either of them liked - he should have just stolen the gun and tried shooting the glass. "We can adapt, but..."
"Danger," Rubens replies. "We'll need to be more careful, right?"
"Right," and, fuck, Johnny has been here before. "We might need to be subtler to get in."
"Games," Rubens replies.
"Hm?"
"He likes games. If we-" another speedbump, and Rubens gasps again, entire body twisting at the pain, but he settles himself quickly, moving on. "Fuck. But, if we do get in... it might be to play with us specifically. If the recording got through. Champion's match. New difficulty."
"Maybe the information we have will be enough?"
The look Rubens gives him is absolutely scathing.
"Yeah, okay, they weren't important enough to have anything actually good. I can wish, though; don't really want to be watching over my shoulder forever."
"It could work in our favour," Rubens settles on. "We need to get into deeper areas anyway. Toying, playing - if we interested whatever's in charge, perhaps it will bring us deeper to try again."
"They're deathtraps."
"But somebody always has to win. It's a bad game, otherwise."
Two people could have won the game they were playing, if they stuck to the rules, or perhaps there would have been more to it. Johnny doesn't expect them to be that generous again, though.
Ah, well, they'll work it out.
They always do.
---
It is not that much further to the hospital, and 7:30am is a blissfully quiet time. Most people from the night before have already left, but it's too early for most sorts of accidents.
Parking is easy, but getting out is more difficult. Well, no, Johnny can get out fine - stiff and weirdly cramping, but fine. It's Rubens he worries about, Rubens who scoots rather than steps out of the car, and still almost immediately collapses to the floor.
The concern - the /worry/ - is back nearly instantly.
"Ow, fuck, shit," Rubens mutters, in between the curse words as he uses the side of the car to leverage himself up.
Yeah, no, that is not going to stand. Johnny comes back over, taking the one of Rubens' arms that he isn't holding strangely, and pulling it over his shoulders. His own arm he wraps around his partner's back, protecting him from any potential falls.
When he squeezes his fingers, Rubens hisses; Johnny shifts them further down with an apology on his tongue.
"It's fine."
It's not fine.
The angle is awkward, so Johnny much crouch a bit as he helps Rubens to the emergency room. Even with the help and the rest he still keeps staggering and stumbling, his legs barely able to hold his weight.
The reception desk is even worse. By the time they get there, Johnny is supporting all of Rubens' admittedly meager weight.
"Hey," he says, reminding himself she may be the gatekeeper but if he isn't polite then they are both in trouble. "Sorry, we were doing some repair work, and some asshole turned the mains back on while we were working. I'm just kinda sore, but my buddy's having trouble breathing."
Always mention the breathing. They hate it when you cannot breathe properly.
Her eyes flicker momentarily wider, looking at the now disturbingly grey Rubens.
"Names, please?"
"I'm Johnny Tabasco, this is Rubens Naluti."
Rubens seems to try to smile and wave, only to grimace and flinch instead.
A few more questions follow - dates of birth, occupations, next of kin, particularly concerning symptoms... Rubens says unusually quiet, getting slowly heavier against Johnny's side.
Eventually, the questioning comes to an end.
"Please go sit down, and fill in these forms," two clipboards are handed to Johnny. Right. Insurance paperwork and medical history - at least he knows enough of Rubens' to fill it in, after so long doing this work together. "Someone will likely be with Mr Naluti shortly, though you yourself will likely have to wait longer. We're not overly busy, but there are still a few incidents already."
"Thank you," and oh, Christ, he's just glad to be able to get Rubens off his feet.
They end up on the plastic chairs, Rubens flinching at it.
"You alright?" Johnny asks him.
There are a good number of fast blinks before Rubens nods, "let's not repeat this, though."
"Sure thing."
Rubens' hand (and only one hand, the other stays at his side) shakes badly as he starts filling in his form - the simple bits like address he leaves just in case, and starts with his medical insurance details. Allergies, pre-existing conditions... Rubens is doubling back to fill in his basic details when a doctor appears.
"Mr Naluti?"
"Here," he raises his clearly good hand.
"If you would come with me, please?" she asks.
He glances to her, to the gap between them, and then to Johnny. Johnny goes to get up to help, and she says "wait here, please, triage for adult patients is done alone."
And, sure, but didn't they get the notes?
Rubens looks at Johnny, only slowly nodding after they have made eye contact. Johnny is not entirely sure what it means, but he prepares himself for trouble anyway.
And then Rubens /tries/ to stand.
This time when he falls, he catches his weight on his bad arm. Johnny just about manages to stop his head or chest crashing into the floor, snapping at the doctor with a "didn't you /read/ he can't walk right now?!" as he helps him back onto the chair.
It leaves Rubens even more off-colour, and shaking, and Johnny not a great deal impressed with what is going on.
"I'll be right back," the doctor vanishes back the way she came.
"Will you be okay alone?" Johnny asks.
"Eh," Rubens manages a small laugh - his breathing is not settling this time, remaining too fast and too shallow. "I'll manage."
"Of course you will."
Johnny wishes there was an easier way to solve this specific bullshit at least.
Quickly, Johnny finished Rubens papers, and lets him sign them. They are ready when a different doctor appears - this one accompanied by some lower ranked staff member pushing a wheelchair.
"Mr Naluti, I'll be taking over from my colleague," the new doctor says. "We need to speak to you alone - privacy and protocol, you understand - but he can help you transfer if that is better for you?"
It is better for Johnny, at least.
"It's up to you," he still manages to say, standing and offering his arms, just like getting out of the car.
Rubens nods, and takes them, struggling the few short steps from the chair to the wheelchair. Johnny helps him get... not comfortable, but less uncomfortable, before placing Rubens' clipboard on his lap.
"See you shortly," Johnny promises.
"Yeah," Rubens replies between tight breaths. "See you soon."
---
Johnny does not see Rubens shortly, not even close thereto. They did bring the evidence with them, split between their bags - it's been stolen from their car before, and that was it's own form of nightmare - but he cannot exactly work on it here. Neither can he work on it without Rubens, who...
"Mr Tabasco," one of the nurses had told him. "Your friend - Mr Naluti? He asked us to tell you... He needs to be admitted due to internal damage? Primarily to his lung. There is surgery involved, though the tear is small and so it is a relatively simple procedure. It is not common with electrical injuries, especially with mains supplies, but it can happen. The doctor wished to work on it immediately, and he consented. There were some other internal injuries too - all consistent with severe muscle spasming or electrical burns. You'll be able to see him once the doctors have finished, but he'll be here a few nights most likely; until the chest tube comes out, at least, perhaps longer depending on his ribs. Given the nature of his injuries, and that you were injured together, the doctor wishes to see you immediately."
And Johnny liked none of that, not at all. He complied with the doctors simply to get through everything, and given an injection to force his muscles to stop cramping. He hates how it helps him feel less like shit, and concedes to their desire for at least 24 hours of wires and monitoring only once he realises it will place him and Rubens on the same ward.
The ward is louder, and busier, and Johnny hasn't slept since this time yesterday, if nobody counts getting knocked out and kidnapped. Still, he cannot rest yet, not until he knows Rubens is fine. There are, at least, some non-work related books in his bag; he'll text Sam with an update once he's sure what's going on, and until then at least try to relax.
Thankfully, he does not get more than two chapters in before Rubens is brought through. Something he said must have stuck with the doctors, as he is given the next bed along. Propped to half-sitting, with some wires and tubes and thick bandaging around one shoulder, but awake and unhappy about it. Johnny waits for the medical staff to finish adjusting him to take a better look; Rubens' eyes trail after them somewhat nervously, and hospital blue does not suit him but he is looking a distinctly better colour.
"You alright?" he asks, drawing attention from the room to himself.
Rubens visibly relaxes when his eyes catch on him, bored and reading. He gestures to himself with his unbandaged arm, clearly moving carefully so as not to disturb anything.
"You?" he returns with.
"Painkillers help," Johnny offers, and receives a firm nod of agreement. "I'm sore, but fine. Might have torn something, but swelling needs to go down to check. The burns are too deep, but my nerves are a bit sensitive and they want to be absolutely sure the ones around my heart are fine before they let me leave."
"Heart?" Rubens asks, his attention focusing in for a second, before someone dropping a tray of medicines with a loud 'fuck!' draws a flinch and his attention.
"Doctor said if there was going to be a problem there probably would be by now, but he wanted it monitoring just in case," Johnny does his best to reassure. "You... look a bit more alive?"
"Not alive enough to read."
Johnny laughs, "I wasn't going to ask you for that already. Did they say how long you're here for...?"
Rubens shakes his head a little, "no 'heavy exercise' for at least 4 weeks. Maybe more. Depends on my ribs."
"I'll let Sam know. We can sort through the paperwork and update reports in the meantime."
"Ugh," he flops harder into the pillows, seemingly trying to lay down - something the nurses made impossible for the both of them - but gestures consent. "Tell him 'just hack the hospital records'."
"Alright. Get some sleep, or I do have our bags? I think your wallet is in there if you want to buy access to the TVs. Not sure what else you packed."
There is just the problem of getting Rubens' bag to him.
Rubens seems to choose sleep, though, or at least closing his eyes to think about something - it's been a long night, and Johnny will probably follow once he's reported in.
Just a short text message; Sam can work out a more secure connection if he wants information immediately, otherwise he can wait until at least Johnny can head home and ring. Scanning he can also do, but accessing the digital documents will have wait for Rubens. Not that the Order is ever running to time anyway.
'Hey Sam' he types, keeping things on their personal phones as civilian sounding as possible. 'So first off, don't panic, nobody's dead or dying, but Rubens and I are in hospital. He said to tell you to just hack the hospital records, so now I've said it. Not really in the mood to explain
.., but the short is some asshole got us electrocuted...'
#op fanfic#opd#ordem paranormal#fanfic#rubens naluti#johnny tabasco#fuck i have no idea what the character tags are here#maybe now this'll finally leave me alone and I can go work on what I *wanted* to be working on atm#episode 7 currently lives rent free in my brain#have yet to start 8#doesn't seem like the thing to do in a bad mood#hospital tw#injury tw#no way did they just go continue like normal with rubens on 2HP#they were absolutely showing off#johnny probably sewed up the grenade hole in the car given it was non-statistical damage#something about being undercover and so not having all the resources and maybe having blown their cover but theyve got to keep trying anywa#needed them to have a contact so picked the tech guy whose name i could remember#its a tech investigation sooo made sense to me
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Makoto is Makoto
I don't really like engaging into cis or trans character debates especially when it's characters who are gnc/androgynous bc a lot of people especially in twt gets worked up ab these said characters are read as trans, which is completely harmless btw, it just rubs me the wrong way when some people are too insistent about a character being cis
and so I want to talk about makoto and how he is not cis, but is nb/transfem in more ways than just him being a femboy/crossdresser.
Disclaimer: I will be using he/she/they pronouns for makoto in this post just bc i think makoto will be cool with that
and for the record, i finished reading the main series but i have not read the middle school specials, yet.
im also someone who really likes otokonoko and onee characters so yes i am aware of the cultural nuances but this would be just me speaking a queer nb person who loves this series and how i perceive makoto as one
also spoiler warning!
first and foremost, I want to say that gender identity, gender expression and sexuality are all wholly fluid, it's a big spectrum that only you, yourself can figure out. And i think as queer people we're allowed to relate, reflect and see ourselves into the experience and struggles of a fictional character.
while i also don't mind it too much if we think ab how makoto dresses is just her gender expression and that even a cis guy should be able to be feminine and like feminine stuffs with without them being trans / or yk anyone can be gnc but i think as someone who went from being gnc to trans/nb pipeline, it is incredibly hard to not draw a line within queerness or being lgbt with makoto's OWN identity and queerness.
I mean makoto literally uses the "Atashi" 'I' pronoun for themself in which is, by the way, a jp 'I' prn most commonly used by girls when they're dressed as girl while she uses "Boku" when she's not crossdressing
(not to mention both saki and ryuji usually refers to makoto with gender neutral pronouns/referral, with saki always calling him "senpai" and ryuji just having the default gender neutral "Aitsu" pronoun for everyone)
and yeah i know it's also because he's an "otokonoko" but in retrospect, when we read further into the manga we learned that by high school, makoto had transferred to a school that lets them dress however she wants and had been living in said school for ALMOST A YEAR (until he was outed) and he clearly doesn't mind being perceived as a girl.
in fact, as shown in early chapters makoto was so happy when someone made a pass at her because that stranger thought they were a girl and he was so happy when he passed AS a girl.
him being an otokonoko or crossdressing only becomes a problem for them when other people are involved, i.e. when someone confesses to him or when she gets close enough with others, as I believe he sees it as a form of deception/don't want to disappoint them.
either way makoto is makoto, yes this is also a form of expression but i think it's also more of an identity, she doesn't have be locked down by the gender binary
not to mention how makoto hides his true identity to his mom is just something a lot of queer, and especially trans people can really relate to. she literally has to lock a huge part of herself inside a locker when they have to go home bc they cannot be themself in said home, it can clearly be read as someone who is closeted
now onto the spoilers regarding this, makoto coming out properly to his family and most specifically his mom really encapsulated the nb feeling really well
and yes i know she states that "he's a guy who happens to like girly things" (just give him a few years /j) but the point still stands: makoto is makoto. they don't want to live neither as a boy or just a girl. it didn't have to be "one or the other," they chose to be themself and this scene really spoke to me as someone who is nonbinary and how i didn't want to perceive as just my agab...i just want to be myself and i want to be true to myself and that was makoto's answer as well.
i honestly don't want to engage in the debate regarding makoto's gender/gender expression and yes it's canon that he's cis but his own experience and the queer experience especially at her age are just very much parallel to each other.
i know a lot of other trans people will be able to see themselves in makoto and I just don't like how people fight ab androgynous/otokonoko characters being cis only when queer readings regarding these character are completely valid and came from a place that reflects on their own experiences, we can't just lock the fluidity of gender identity of someone in one place, much less for a fictional character. they're queer, they're trans in some way and that is completely okay.
#makoto hanaoka#senpai is an otokonoko#senpai wa otokonoko#lgbt#my crossdressing senpai#lgbtqia#trans#gender identity#gender expression#nonbinary
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Book Review 24 - The Death of Vivek Oji by Awaeke Emezi
I always feel slightly weird trying to organize my thoughts after reading actual literary fiction, if only because it’s such a small slice of my reading diet and there’s so much of it I’m totally ignorant of. This book is, I’m sure, ably in conversation with a dozen others in ways I totally failed to detect as I read it.
So, having accepted that I’m probably going to embarrass myself trying to talk about it; I overall really enjoyed this book, with a few somewhat major caveats.
The story jumps across time and perspective quite a bit, but it’s set in southern Nigeria, centred around a pair of brothers, their wives, and, especially, their two children. The eponymous Vivek Oji is one of those children, and the book is about them even though they honestly don’t get particularly much screen time, and also the book opens with their mother finding their corpse wrapped in a carpet and left in front of the family’s front door. The book bounces back and forth before and after that death, on the one hand giving everyone’s life stories and on the other following the mother’s increasingly desperate attempts to investigate a death the police don’t show any interest in.
So this is very much capital q capital l Queer Lit – the whole central drama around Vivek’s death is that they were flagrantly gender nonconforming and (as becomes clear very quickly) either genderfluid or a trans woman, with the universal assumption being that they were lynched by homophobes during a riot. A pretty major subplot is their cousin Osita (one of our main POVs) accepting that he’s queer, and the contrast of the supportive little queer friend group they both find compared to the conservative, homophobic world they live in is a major theme.
The prose is really just lovely – literary is the word for a reason, I suppose – and honestly close to breathtaking at points. Almost every character rings extremely true to life, which is to say deeply flawed and utterly unselfaware about why they do the things they do, but in a way that’s actually usually (usually) pretty endearing. (There’s so many affairs among the older generation you’re rather left wondering what the point of marriage even is to begin with, but as far as I can tell that’s not that far from true to life).
I can’t really comment on the accuracy of the book’s depiction of Nigerian culture, save that nothing was so totally unbelievable or obviously wrong it stood out to me. It at least felt very real, full of little quotidian details and minor hypocrisies and other touches that really made the book’s settings live and breath.
My issues with the book are fairly few, but they’re unfortunately pretty structural. Mostly it’s with Vivek themselves. They’re a very identifiable character archetype – perpetually innocent and idealistic to the point where they’re treated by the narrative as somewhere between a holy mystic and perpetual child, incapable of ever really explaining themselves but this sort of inspirational idol in other people’s lives and, of course, dead. Even when well-written, the whole archetype still leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.
The other thing is just – spoilers for the very, very end of the book, I suppose – the reveal of just how they actually died. They weren’t killed by a lynch mob, you see – Osita, their cousin/boyfriend and one of the main POV characters, eventually reveals that he had been trying to convince them not to go out in public wearing a dress when a riot was clearly about to start, and when they insisted on going down to the market anyway got frustrated and shoved them. Which, entirely by accident, sent them tripping over the pavement, falling to the ground, hitting their head on the curb, and near-instantly dying.
Thematically it’s clear to the point of browbeating – literally, not killed by someone for being out in public, but by the fear of how people might react to coming out – but I just found it incredibly bathetic? And slightly annoyed at how obvious and blatant it made the author’s puppet strings.
Anyway, complaints aside, still a beautifully written book.
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I started keeping a reading log this month! For better or worse I ended up reading a lot more than usual but I manged to keep track of most of it 🌟These are ordered roughly by how much I enjoyed reading them at the time of reading
Some reccs from this month:
Or Something Like it
Kinaho lived alone until one day, her boyfriend Akito brought with him two young relatives: a pair of brothers who had just lost their parents. All at once, Kinaho finds herself living under one roof with not just Akito, but serious-to-a-fault eighth grader Toma and innocent five-year-old Haruhi. As the days pass in confusion, this group starts to forge a new relationship: a family… or something like it.
I always enjoy series that deal with people processing death + unusual family dynamics. I'm already enjoying the characters just from reading volume 1 and am looking forward to seeing more how their relationships develop!
2. Magmell Shinkai Suizokukan
A tale about a modern deep-sea aquarium employee in Tokyo! What's living in the overwhelming darkness deep within the sea? Take a glimpse into this strange world about a boy working at a deep sea aquarium.
This series has suuuuch lovely art, if you enjoy deep sea fish you'll enjoy this. I've only read volume 1 so far, and there's not been a whole ton of character exploration but it does seem to be setting up some interesting plot threads for the future.
3. Ari no Manma no Anata
Kaede, a young woman, has given herself a much more masculine haircut. Despite her insistence that it was merely out of her own preference, she still receives some hassle for it. On her way home from work, frustrated, she stumbles upon Yoshino, a battered young woman - and one that seems to have had problems with men….
wow, lesbians <3 cute oneshot about women standing up for each other + super cute butch protagonist, love to see it. It's the subtle things that have put this one so high on my list.
4. The Duke's Daughter Drops Her Engagement and Facade
After being publicly dumped by her fiancé, the Crown Prince Lombard, the duke's daughter Christiana appears unshaken. Despite being educated to be a refined noblewoman and the perfect queen, she has always harbored a different dream—to become Lombard's knight. Now, with the engagement off, she finally has the chance to pursue her true calling.
One for the villainess enjoyers! Setting aside the extreme trans guy vibes Chris gives off, I like this series because Chris's attitude towards her ex-fiance is pretty unique among series of this genre. It's very 'you gave up on me, but won't give up on you. you're still a good friend who I care about'. Considering that and their past relationship I'm curious to see what happened to change it so much!
5. Correspondence from the End of the Universe
Russian recent college graduate Marko is looking forward to traveling the world with his lover. However, he is abducted by a mysterious being to the end of the universe, ruining his plans. That mysterious being assigns Marko a ten-year mission. All Marko can do is give his all to the mission and befriend his alien coworkers. This is the peculiar story depicting life in a place far removed from Earth.
I'm a big fan of this kind of extremely whimsical sci-fi, so far my favorite aliens are the ones that eat the emotions of people eating. I really like the art and designs too, looking forward to seeing where this series goes!
6. Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko!
Soft and bubbly office lady Ayaka is madly in love with her senior at work, Hiroko! Two lovestruck coworkers who both think the other is straight totally crush on each other…
Unstoppable force (lesbian who will pull out all stops to flirt with her crush) x immovable object (lesbian who thinks 'wow straight women are so affectionate towards their friends nowadays') It's a pretty simple classic premise, which lets the characters and their troubles shine through all the better.
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why did Stephanie M did that weird age thing at the end of the Host?
Excellent question anon!! Let’s get into it!
So for context, The Host (2008) is a book based on an invasive species of aliens that need host bodies to operate on alien planets. The 2 main characters of the book are one of the invading aliens, a “soul” and her human host body that is still alive and well even when the alien is operating her body. The grand finale of the book has the alien give back the human body so her host can go back to living her life. BUT! the humans involved in the story have grown attached to this specific alien and find her a new body. Not a big deal except SM wrote it the weirdest way possible. The running theory in the book is that the longer a human was human before an alien took over the more likely they are to remember their own lives. so while our favorite humans from the story go looking for a new body they choose one that is noticeably young so that the alien doesn’t have to worry about the human host being alive inside the body. BUT! the alien has paired up with one of the adult males in the story and so when she wakes up in the new body she lies about its age so that her partner won’t object to hanky panky and make her wait until her body is old enough.
There’s a lot there. It is Stephanie Meyers writing so it’s filled with her usual sexism and weirdness that makes a lot of people question her sanity. I am a white person so i don’t know how to go about commenting on her racism. i will say she didn’t dig herself into the same hole she did with Twilight (2005) but the invading alien 100% have a savior complex about taking over planets, they said something of the lines of “We come to experience and make it better.” or something to that effect that i wish i had my copy of the book in front of me to check. But they fit the definition of colonizers so take that as you will.
Stephanie has a history of using similar tropes and just weird things that she insists on including in her writing. What anon has come to me about is the weird age thing and let’s dive into that. There already has been a lot of commentary about the age gap with Bella and Edward from Twilight but i bring it up because it’s a trope SM writes often. The only book i can think of that doesn’t have a weird age gap is her spy/espionage book The Chemist (2016) but i haven’t read a couple titles that popped up in my deep dive for this ask.
The biggest clues about why the hell SM writes some of this stuff is that she is mormon and her religious views definitely get added in writing in different ways. Mormons believe that a “delayed marriage” is a sign of delayed maturity so that’s the biggest thing i can think of when it comes to why SM writes this ideology into her books.
Returning to The Hosts age gap and Twilights age gap the circumstances are shockingly similar, one of the pair has been alive for multiple life times before they meet the other and they are suddenly complete. They felt so isolated and distant from their own kinds until they found their true mate. It’s crazy to me! The only difference the pairs is that in Twilight, Edward is an eternally mature 17 y/o and in The Host, Wanda is an eternally immature thousand of years old, in the book she estimates that she was born around earths big bang? or that her mother? was but she constantly moves from planet to planet and has to start the maturing process all over again with each species. She even states towards the end of the book that she was “barely a year old” because her time on earth had been that short and then!! she’s put into an even younger body!! The aliens defense within herself is that she doesn’t want to wait like her previous human host had because her human host was 17 (i think) when she found her mate and he made her wait for her 18th birthday before her would have sex with her. So she lies and says the new human host’s body’s birthday is in a week! which is just so silly to me! it brings in the question of if the aliens celebrate their host’s birthdays? which i genuinely don’t see that they would??
I do know that SM stated that The Host was based off a story she started telling herself while driving through arizona? one of the more desert states and so she probably started writing it and had to come up with some kind of happy ending? similar to twilight which was based off a dream and she wrote the meadow scene first and had to build a backstory around that and then find some way to give all of those characters a happy ending which is how we ended up with genuinely the most disturbing age gap in any of her writing to date.
Long answer short! i’m not sure! but i mostly blame mormonism and poor plotting!
Thank you anon for sending in this ask so i could talk about my favorite book ever and the absolute disaster that it is!
#twilight#new moon#eclipse#breaking dawn#the host#the host (2008)#the chemist (2016)#the chemist#stephanie meyer#the host stephanie meyer#the chemist stephanie meyer
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Dazai, chuuya, humanity and the mafia part 1: Dazai Osamu
Okay first a warning, this is gonna be LONG.
Now, let´s begin by saying that analysing Dazai? Is a fucking pain in the ass. I give my everything in this analysis and even then I can´t be sure if I´m right or not because the truth is whether you love or hate Dazai, he is by far the most complex character from the series. He is layers upon layers upon layers of narrative but the real reason why he is so damn difficult to analyse is because he is an unreliable narrator.
(You can skip this part and start reading from “I want to say”)
Dazai is there from the very beggining of the story, he appears in most of the light novels and is a prevalent presence in the manga and even then we know next to nothing about him. Once I saw someone asking why are we so obsessed with his backstory when technically speaking we have more information about his past that the one we have about other characters, including Akutagawa, Tanizaki, kouyou and even Atsushi. And while technically right, there is a reason for it. Thing is that the things we know about Dazai are simply not enough to make sense of his character. We can take the same five flashbacks of Atsushi in the orphanate and that´s enought to understand most of his personality, his insecurities, the way he acts and the same applies for the other characters. Maybe we don´t know a lot but it´s enough to get the bigger picture. This doesn´t happen with Dazai. The things we know about him aren´t enough to make us understand him. Worse than that, some of the few things we do know is that he lies /constantly/, that he is hella good at saying half truths and that he almost always is hiding information. This only makes analysing him even more complicated because I can´t be 100% sure of ANYTHING. It´s not even that he is always lying, because I know he isn´t. The real problem is that when he does, he is so good at it that we don´t know when he is lying vs when he is saying the truth. Harukawa-sensei expresses a lot with her art, specially the eyes (We all know about that thing of darkness/light in the eyes and how that speaks of the mental situation of the characters) BUT this doesn´t necessarily applies to Dazai.
There are panels like this in which we /Swear/ that he is being honest only to realize that he wasn´t. So, to summarize we can´t believe in his words, we can´t believe in his face or expressions and we almost never can get to his thoughts. So I decided to analyse him using everything I could, the few instances we are in his mind in the novels, the moments we /know/ are true that were confirmed by asagiri: When he speaks about oda or when he is with another superhuman (Fyodor, shibusawa and tentatively speaking verlaine), when he convinces Kyoka to keep living. And at last we are gonna use the perceptions of certain characters that canonically speaking have the best read of him (Oda and chuuya, for example). And certain scenes that seem like true based on context.
I want to say that I usually disagree with Dazai analysis because I think it´s a mistake to analyze him from a moral ground. BSD is all about morally grey characters and even then, a huge part of the fandom insist in classifying them as “good” or “bad” and Dazai is particularly affected by this perspective. People will fight all the time. People will say that Dazai has changed to be a better person, that he is better morally speaking, that he is trying to be “good” but then we got scenes like this:
Scenes in which he seem to go back to his mafia days. Scenes in which he is manipulator and cruel, scenes in which he is shown hurting people and then the other half of the fandom appears to say that he hasn´t changed, the he still is horrible and bad. And the thing is? I think both of this parts are wrong.
Dazai as a character doesn´t revolve around moral. Dazai´s path is not one of him regretting his bad actions and wanting to be good, that´s not it. Oda who is the one who knew him best said:
“you might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but...saving others is something just a bit more wonderful”-Dark era
Dazai is not like chuuya who has a moral code and decide to go over it when necessary. Dazai simply doesn´t have a moral compass. Words like “good” and “bad” doesn´t mean anything to him. Dazai is elementarily speaking a character oriented towards results. Either the action has the predicted result or not. This is the real reason we see this ambivalence in him. This is why we constantly see him doing “bad things” that lead to “Good results”. When he does something bad is not because he is going back to his habits, is because is the best way to get what he wants. Dazai has /never/ read like a bad person that suddenly turned good. That has never been his objective and even less the main point of his characterization. That´s why I will never agree to talk about him like “ADA Dazai” vs “Mafia Dazai” in terms of morality, this is also incredibly reductionist with his character and all the shades of grey that has been there since the beggining. Dazai didn´t develop a moral compass for being in the agency. He went to the place that saves lives, so that´s what he does. In order to work for the ADA he needs to follow certain codes, so he adapt himself to them as better as possible but that´s it. As matter of fact, there are a lot of instances in which Dazai conveniently looks for loopholes in the law to get the wanted outcome. This is not a secret and was there even when he made his entrance exam.
In the first novel, sasaki is about to win and there´s no legal way the agency can stop her. So what Did Dazai did? He manipulated a 14yo who was full of hatred and resentment to kill her. Is that a good action? Of course not, Did he save a lot of lives by doing that? Yes, he did, so in the great scheme of things there was a good result that justified the bad action. Another good example is akutagawa, he still is emotionally abusive towards him, he keeps manipulating him and hurting him but thanks to that the shin soukoku duo was possible, thanks to that they save the city from moby dick and later from fyodor. Or even that scene in which he got ango in the car knowing they were gonna crash and that Ango was going to get hurt and counting with that to manipulate him into giving him the information necessary to save kyoka. All of them are bad actions that got translated into good results. I´m not saying this to justify him, I think this depends on each perspective. Maybe for some people the end really justifies the means, for some it doesn´t (That´s a big part of why we have Dazai apologists vs Dazai antis) and that´s valid. But the thing is I don´t think Dazai cares if he is justified or not, he only cares about the final result. And the undeniably truth is that his methods get results.
“A murderer who doesn´t soil their own hands...
Getting someone to kill another human being for you: What Dazai did was no different from what Miss sasaki did. There is no way to prove their intention to kill under current laws and regulations, and they would go unpunished”- Kunikida, 1 light novel: Osamu Dazai´s entrance exam.
So I ask you how are you deciding his morality? based on his motivations? on his actions? Or in the final outcome of those actions? This is why is useless to try to put him into a good or bad category. He is far more complex than that. A lot of his actions may be seen as bad but he has saved tons of people thanks to that an what? Are you going to tell me those lives are not valid? That´s bullshit. And just like I just mentioned the moments of manipulation and cruelty now that he is in the ADA, I can mention moments of genuiness and caring while he was in the mafia. Dazai is still Dazai morally speaking.
Now I want to clarify that yes, maybe Dazai hasn´t changed all that much in terms of morality but that doesn´t mean he hasn´t changed at all. Actually he has one of the best character developments in the story. It doesn´t matter if it´s not in morality because just as I said before that has never been the main point of his character. So, if not morality what is it? I already said it.
His real core is his inability to recognize himself as a human being and his need to look for his humanity despite that.
But that leads to other questions, the most important one being why does he feel inhuman? With chuuya we have a clear answer, with dazai we don´t, but I think its the same problem of Yozo from no longer human.
Okay so, for everyone who haven´t read the book. It´s about Yozo, a depressed man who feel alienated from the rest of the people, who desperately tries to hide the emptiness inside him, he doesn´t perceive himself as a human being and more like a clown desperate to keep appearences who tries to keep the other people from realizing how inhuman he really is. I think the reason the book is consider a classic is because maybe yozo is a horrible person, but you never, not even once doubt about how human he is, he is full of flaws but he is undeniably human, even when he can´t see it. And I think this is exactly bsd Dazai problem.
From what we know, Dazai is not like chuuya, he really is a human being, he was born like one, he was raised like one but he can´t connect with his humanity. In my opinion Dazai´s problem with his humanity comes from a distorted perspective of himself. So the next question is why he got this distorted perspective? Well there are two important factors: The alienation and isolation the character experiments through the story, and this is perpetuated by extrinsect and intrinsect factors.
First, as you probably have already noticed Dazai is one of the most deshumanized characters in the story. People talk about him as “The demon prodigy”, “A heresy”. Ango has called him “an alien”, and people around him conceives him as some kind of god. This omnipotent figure who always knows everything and has a plan for every contingency. For God´s sake his ability literally is “No longer human” and Fukuzawa´s ability “All men are equal” doesn´t work on him. There´s no need for a genius to understand all the simbolism behind that. That´s the alienation I´m talking about. Then we got other factors, his monstruous intelligence, personality (he is naturally highly maquiavelistic, utilitarian, controlling, has a deep distrust for the world and his self destructive tendencies), maladaptive coping mechanisms plus a bad enviroment (the mafia) translates into two big problems: disconnection with himself (He can´t understand his own motives and emotions so this worsens the distorted perception he already has of himself) and problems stablishing bonds with other people (that aggravate the isolation).
(we´ll continue in part two because this is already too long)
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starting in on Handbook for Mortals and I'm just going to cover all the miscellaneous beginning crap that this thing is wrapped in before actually starting on the story.
first thing I'm going to talk about is what's on the back of the book because not a lot of people talk about what was chosen for that. usually there's a brief blurb with the premise of the book or maybe some reviews, sometimes even a little paragraph directly from it to entice the reader. that last one is my standby when I need to put a summary for a fic.
Handbook for Mortals went the route of paragraph from the book as well as three quotes from romance author Skye Turner, who also wrote the foreword for the book, and the promise that this book will soon be turned into a movie. which was due to come out *checks my wrist* six years ago. this has not yet happened, but the author is still insisting it will.
anyway, the bit chosen from the book to highlight what we're getting into is a conversation between our main character and her love interest, which is meant to be some enemies to lovers stuff. but honestly I'm a bit uncomfortable at the, "looked like he might hit me, but I knew that wasn't really an option for him," in there. so, we are already setting up our love interest as a person who needs some kind of mental restraining bolt to refrain from violence instead of just, y'know, not being violent. really speaks to his morals right there. absolutely trustworthy, surely his resolve is ironclad.
this also speaks to the genre of the book because there's a lot of talk about this book having magic and being magical but it's the romance we're choosing to set up here. I think it's safe to say magic is going to be present in this book the way coffee is in a coffee shop au fanfic: it's technically true but it's not why we're reading the story and ultimately not important to it.
I'm not even gonna bother with the blurb on the inside of the dust jacket because it's literally just a synopsis of the entire book. even the ending. I'm not even kidding.
now I wanna talk about the autographs my copy came with. the book I bought for $2 off of Amazon was signed by both the author Lani Sarem and actor-potential producer of the movie Thomas Ian Nicholas, and both of them write some pretty weird things to the people they gave this book to. (there were two names in the personalizations as well as a post-it note with those same names. my best guess is one person in the couple preordered the book with Sarem, requested that it be signed, and then never picked it up. hilarious if true.)
I'll start with American Pie guy's dedication first:
"Be the magician who fools magicians."
like. what? what does that even mean?
Sarem's is both worse and funnier:
"Never forget those who do not believe in magick will never find it! Thanks for believing!"
well I guess they didn't believe too much if they never picked up their book. also that just feels so mean-spirited to me. had I written a similar dedication, I would phrase it as, "Never forget those who believe in magic will always find it!" then it's still exclusive without needlessly dragging others down for ~not being able to find the magic in their lives~. not to mention my own personal pet peeve with the whole magick thing, but that is a rant for considerably later.
there is a typo in the book's disclaimer:
"Any similarity to real persons, living or deal,"
but also that doesn't make sense because I know this book has the real life Plain White T's with their real names as well as Carrot Top and Wayne Newton.
there's also proof that Sarem had permission to use all the song lyrics she uses in the story, which are so copious that without thinking I originally wrote the word, "fic," in this sentence. because yeah, this reeks of songfic, the rare example of one where the person writing has permission to actually use the song. look, I've only seen song lyrics work in a book exactly once, and that was Good Omens. and Lani Sarem is not Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman.
(I should know, I just listened to the audiobook for Stardust as a sort of cleanser to remind me what a good book sounds like. it's shockingly refreshing listening to the work of an author who is actually good at their job.)
the dedication is also just. ugh:
"This is dedicated to: The granddaughters of the witches you could not burn and for all those who believe in Magic."
that exists in print in this book. I'm assuming seriously.
I took a peek at how long the foreword is but don't have time to get in on it before I start work today, so this is where I leave things for now.
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Hello hello! Hope you don't mind me asking but I saw your post about Nikis character development (I honestly agree with you, speaking as a NikiP) and I was wondering about your thoughts on the other bees and their character developments?
Hope you don't mind this being dropped off in your inbox 🤭
Hey, sorry for taking an eternity to respond, I haven't been in the best place mentally and I had end of semester stuff to do so I wasn't active for a while.
And dw I don't mind, on the contrary I'm very happy to be able to talk to someone about something I like :)
It's been a while since I read some of the stories and I only read 2 double face stories so far , so I'm worried some of my knowledge may be rusty or incomplete, so feel free to correct me if I got anything wrong.
I'll start off with HiMERU since he's been on my mind lately. I like bullying him but I actually think he's a great character and I enjoy his character even in stories I don't like. I like how he initially used to view Crazy:B as a unit he's stuck to and was trying to keep his distance from them but eventually he grew closer to them and started working to help and protect his unit despite claiming that he's only concerned with upholding HiMERU's image as the perfect idol and wouldn't hesitate to drop them if they get in the way, and even started participating in their silly shenanigans. He also breaks his perfect idol HiMERU facade more often now is slowly becoming more comfortable expressing his emotions and personality even if they're ugly don't always align with the image of perfection. Even though he took on the role of HiMERU to appease his ego and as a way to cope with his guilt towards what happened to Kaname , he still deeply cares about him and wishes for his dream to come true even if it's partially and it's very tragic that the Tojo siblings never got the chance to meet in person untill Kaname was already lost. :,( That being said, Merumeru (that's what I usually called the current HiMERU) still has a long way to go as person and he still has to come clean about his real identity to the people close to him, but I'm happy that he's found a group of people who he's comfortable with and who will accept him no matter what. I really hope we get to see more development on the Kaname situation as well Merumeru's internal conflicts in !!! ( But I really want to see Niki and Kohaku get their spotlight before that because recently Crazy:B has started to feel more and more like the Rinne and HiMERU show as far as character importance goes ngl)
Now on to the one and only leader Rinne Amagi. When I first got into Enstars I genuinely used to hate him based on the way the fandom talks about him and the few screenshots of his out of pocket behavior, not to mention his general character archetype being one I usually dislike in media. But after actually sitting down and reading the stories he slowly became one of my faves. He is initially introduced as a complete jerk who's a piece of shit towards people even the ones close to him but throughout the main story it becomes clear that a lot of his more extreme behavior is an act made to turn people against him as well as a facade he puts up to appear more powerful and in control. Still, Rinne is also a massive troll who genuinely likes messing around and sometimes he can end up coming off as dismissive of other people's feelings (which is something I would really like the writers to elaborate more on that and to actually address this in an interesting way) Despite that, it's clear that he genuinely cares about the people close to him and would go to great lengths for them even if his way of showing affection can seem a bit backwards sometimes because he struggles with being vulnerable with other people. He is initially someone who takes on burdens all on his own avoiding any help from others but the bees insist on sharing his burdens and are here for him when he falls , which is something he slowly has to accept. I also really like how critical he is of the idol industry and how he genuinely brings up some very good points about how exploitative and shitty it is. I know that due to the nature of Enstars as an idol gacha game limits that type of criticism and makes some of it fall flat , but I appreciate it being there and I like that we have characters like Rinne consistently voicing out these thoughts. I also really resonated and even related and even with his initial situation of growing up in a traditional and conservative society that ostracizes and alienates you for who you are while still having great expectations of you, and the desire to run away from there only to be faced with different struggles and still feeling out of place (but that aspect is greatly undermined after the bullshit plot twist of the super advanced secret society the Amagis apparently grew up in , that literally contradicts everything we knew about the village beforehand and heavily fucks up the character motivation for both of the brothers. Not to mention Rinne's relationship with Hiiro and Niki, who are two of the closest people to him, is treated like a complete fucking joke in that godforsaken event story)
Next, we got Kohaku who to be honest was the one I knew the least about for the longest time. But I still love him dearly, though. To start Kohaku stood out to me from the other younger characters in ES with how mature he presents himself to be but eventually it's clear that he's still an inexperienced and ignorant teen who's trying to navigate the world which can be even more difficult considering he grew up in isolation with only a screen as a connection with the outside world as well as how dangerous Kohaku's family is. I like how Kohaku is aware of how little he knows and accepts the help he's offered and he even reaches out for it, though he still has moments of stubbornness because he's still an angsty teen at the end of the day. I love his dynamic with the other bees, who all treat him like their little brother especially Merumeru and even though they constantly dote on him, they still respect him as a person and help him grow as a person. On a side note, I also appreciate his pretty unique dynamic with Madara who despite usually actually like he's everyone's Mama towards his juniors, interestingly enough treats Kohaku like an equal as his unit mate which I think may be in part because they both have pretty dark family backgrounds, as well as the nature of the jobs double face are given. And kohaku is usually shown to be the more emotionally mature one in the unit who tries to communicate as opposed to Madara who would rather take on the job himself without saying anything and tends to run away from important conversations.
Sorry if this is too long to read and comes off as incoherent at times, I just tried to scramble my brain for what to say and I'm kinda bad at forming coherent thoughts. Also I'm not too confident on my knowledge on double face so I better go and read more about them.
Sorry again for taking too long to respond to your ask.
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┊ ┊ ┊. ➶ ˚ —— look who’s joining the infinite tour! only edward "eddie" song , who is a photographer . i’ve heard whispers that the 25 year old is pretty outgoing but lowkey perfectionistic. also, doesn’t he remind you of christopher bang ?
hello everyone ! my name is kaddie , 29 , resident of the pst zone , and user of whatever pronouns you like ( she / they usually , but please refer to me however you like ! ). this is not my first rodeo on tumblr, in krp, nor in tumblr krp — but it has been a while, so please don't mind me while i readjust and figure out how to function as a mun in this space !! i am excited to introduce you to my newest creation : mr. eddie song , one of infinite entertainment's lovely photographers ! i anticipate this intro being a work in progress as i delve further into the muse and feel him out , and any updates will be posted for the good people's reference !!
a quick note : i do lightly format my ic posts , which can and often does include bolding , italicizing , colors , special characters , and double / triple spacing. i do not use small text because i find it hard to read , but i do not mind if you use it !! i understand this may not always be accessible to some , so please let me know if these stylizing choices affect you in any way and i will adjust for you !! your comfort and ability to engage in a space that addresses your needs is more important than " aesthetic ".
𓆩⟡𓆪 edward "eddie" song was born in sydney , australia to blue collar korean immigrant parents on the cold winter's day of august 27 , 1997 . he is a virgo sun , gemini moon , and cancer ascendent . though he doesn't put much stock in astrology , he has been told by many people ( re: exes ) that he is a " true virgo man ", which he's still trying to figure out the meaning of.
𓆩⟡𓆪 ever since his youth , eddie was a creative , artistic soul. he has been drawing since he could hold a crayon , and as a child enjoyed creating comics and storybooks to share with his parents and friends. as he got older, his preferred creative outlet shifted a bit to include photography — which he picked up after joining his middle school’s yearbook team. composing the perfect shot quickly became an obsession , and to this day he’s tirelessly committed to capturing the world’s beauty in a single frame .
𓆩⟡𓆪 eddie's parents are decent people who worked hard to give their son what he needed. as a child , he never had to worry about being fed , clothed , or watered — though he did not have many of the cool things his childhood friends and schoolmates did. both adults worked full-time jobs ; his father was a grocery store manager , and his mother waited tables at a nearby korean restaurant. this meant that eddie was enrolled in preschool at a very young age , and throughout the rest of his schooling was placed in after school programs until he was old enough to look after himself.
𓆩⟡𓆪 eddie loves his parents very much , but their insistence on practicality when it came to his future did often lead to a butting of heads. while he craved the sweet release of artistic expression , the exploration of humanity and nature beyond what words and science could describe , his mother and father rather preferred he stick to the more common career paths , like finance , medicine , or engineering. their ambitions for their son were shaped by their own experiences of poverty and struggle — something that , to this day , eddie very much understands but finds difficulty in accepting. all he wants is his parent's support for his passions . he still hasn't quite gotten it yet.
𓆩⟡𓆪 eddie was well-liked in school , and though he was not popular per se , he had plenty of friends and a well-rounded social life. in his adult life , he still keeps in touch with several mates from high school. on top of working with both the yearbook and newspaper associations in high school , he was also on the varsity track team.
𓆩⟡𓆪 against his parents' wishes , eddie did not attend university , and instead made the life-changing decision to move to seoul , south korea once he had graduated from high school. he wanted to pursue his passion for photography away from the scrutiny of his parents. they did not part on the best terms , but have since reconciled after his parents both visited him in korea a few years after he relocated there. today , they are on speaking terms , but due to his busy life , eddie only touches base with them on occasion.
𓆩⟡𓆪 upon moving to korea , eddie worked a series of odd jobs to support himself while he freelanced as a photographer on the side. this mostly included your typical first job selections : waiting tables , working retail & hospitality , and working for a rideshare company.
𓆩⟡𓆪 networking within the local artist community in seoul was paramount to eddie's breakthrough as a professional photographer. after meeting several like-minded artists — a group called the craftsmen — he launched his first gallery display. the theme ? in the eyes of a dreamer — a series of portraits showcasing the smaller , lesser known beauties of the city from the perspective of a man who'd come there for a safe haven to pursue his passions. it was a hit.
𓆩⟡𓆪 after the success of several art installations and portrait commissions , eddie began doing contract work for several entertainment publications in which he attended events , concerts , and premieres as a press correspondent. while he loved his work with the independent group , the money was inconsistent and not support his basic needs. though his choice was met with disapproval , he still keeps in touch with some of the more understanding members , and frequently advertises the craftsmen's events. a casual consumer of the korean entertainment industry , this line of work quickly opened his eyes to the beauty , struggle , and chaos prevalent within in — particularly where kpop idols were concerned. where else could he find a more perfect place to capture humanity at its best and at its worst ?
𓆩⟡𓆪 he only takes honest work — meaning , gossip sites / publications and unofficial paparazzi activities have been and are adamantly and vehemently turned down. he follows a strong code of ethics and only believes in snapping photos with express and enthusiastic consent.
𓆩⟡𓆪 eddie covered the unveiling of infinite entertainment's new building inauguration on january 11th , 2021 . this was the same date he was scouted by staff and invited to submit a portfolio of his work and an application , which he did.
𓆩⟡𓆪 finally , in january 2022 , after the announcement of their world tour , eddie received a formal offer to join infinite entertainment contingent on his agreement to partake in the entirety of the tour. such a lengthy wait for a response initially had the young artist hesitant , but an opportunity to travel the world and get paid for it was too good to pass up. he signed a contract soon after the offer was made , and began work not 24 hours later. he was a key figure in producing much of the promotional material for the tour.
𓆩⟡𓆪 eddie is a creative soul at heart. he is driven by artistic goals — namely , capturing the world's beauty in a single frame — and views his work as an extension of himself. because of his passion for what he does , he can often be viewed as obsessive and perfectionistic , often working long hours to edit his work down to the most minute detail. however , he typically does a good job holding this back while working with live subjects , and is rather gentle and reassuring with those he works with , even when his directing style needs to become more structured and instructive.
𓆩⟡𓆪 eddie is an ambivert , though on the mbti he tests as an extrovert . he loves being around others and meeting new people , but has been known to withdraw entirely during times of stress or hardship. he is a people-pleaser , often putting the needs of others before his own and going to extra lengths to ensure everyone he cares about is properly cared for.
𓆩⟡𓆪 a self-medicator , he often takes to smoking or alcohol to get through difficult days , particularly when his art is failing him and he has nothing else to turn to. he always maintains professionalism , however , and always shows up to work sober , clean , and with a smile on his face.
𓆩⟡𓆪 other hobbies include : drawing , painting , casual gaming ( nintendo is his go-to ) , cooking & baking , and creative writing. his favorite movie genre is fantasy and / or action adventure. he listens to all types of music ; he has familiarized himself with nearly the entire discography of every artist on tour , in an effort to properly capture them in a manner true to their artistry.
last updated : sat 6 may 2023
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You know what, you get two more, because I absolutely lost track of which one had been answered already when I sent the numbers since I asked first and did the reading after. 😅❤️ 8. And 28.!
I will HAPPILY take more!
8. What happens if one of them gets sick?
I LOVE sick-fics and this question and it's been so hard to rationalize how level 20 + mythic 10 martial characters could get sick BUT I have two solid ideas for this hehe.
Minovae: She is a semi-divine being, as she is a protean lord but with the vessel of a once-mortal humanoid. The fact the is also a being of paradox means that I like to think that her powers have to be carefully managed, as she is something that quite literally breaks the laws of existence. If she leans too hard on the Lawful or Chaotic aspects of her power (oh the stress of being a True Neutral deity but a Lawful Good person) it unbalances her and she can get ill if it's too extreme. Too much Chaotic energy -> vomiting rainbow sludge, unable to hold her default form (proteans are shapeshifters), her blood takes on a rainbow sheen like an oil slick, classic fever and full-on body aches. Too much Lawful energy -> hard to stay tangible, starts to blink in and out of existence, her true sight runs haywire, debilitating migraines from overload of information streaming into her thoughts (long range telepathy), body goes rigid, temperature plummets. All are things totally fine for an actual Aeon or Protean, but for a once mortal woman?
In super extremes, she can be dangerous to physically be around as she radiates the imbalanced energy and can impact the environment around her.
Regill always has potions on hand infused with Lawful or Chaotic energy. Think if a Cure Wounds potion is filled with Positive, this would be the equivalent. Shoving the opposite energy down her throat helps correct the imbalance but it still takes her a little while to physically feel better. He'll move his work into either their bedroom or whatever room in the medical wing she's being looked after in to keep an eye on her. Checks her temperature and makes sure she's comfortable, wordlessly, every hour or so, just doesn't make a big deal out of it. Strokes her hair and helps her move about if she's in a bunch of pain or very ill.
If she's too overloaded she becomes more like an actual Protean or Aeon too, personality wise and disposition. He's one of the only people that can reason with her in that state and help bring her back to herself.
These are all extremely rare occurrences. Something terrible must've happened for an imbalance so severe to have happened.
Regill: The Thrune-cursed wounds he earned from saving Mino's life have periods where they ache severely, and can debilitate him from the pain and stiffness alongside a burning fever. This is generally when the cold season hits, that first major fall in temperature. Mino always knows because he'll still be in bed around her when she wakes up. He hates it, finds it humiliating, but she is careful to treat him exactly the same so he doesn't feel coddled and even more embarassed. Hot compresses, heated salves, bringing him a potion so he can at least get up and move around (he insists, a lictor can't be bedridden). Worst comes to worst, a sling to keep his arm stable which she helps him with, but without ceremony and with a light, joking disposition as usual. Inside she feels terrible because those wounds were meant for her after all, but she's not about to make him feel worse or make it about her.
28. What are there thoughts on pet names? Do they have any?
Nothing overly saccharine or sweet here! The fact he calls her "Mino" is quite a feat enough as is, but he will use 'my dear' with her as well. It makes her turn into a puddle.
She doesn't use any for him. She has tried many many times to come up with any that don't immediately make her laugh or feel wrong. There aren't any. She will use them jokingly or ironically as in a "oh sure 'hun'" kind of way, but that's all.
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