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#poems that make me want to cry in the best way
orpheuslament · 1 year
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Night Walk, Franz Wright
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reallyromealone · 5 months
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Wonderland gifts
Leona kingscholar x male reader
Reader is a bunny, fluff, cute
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(name) was hiding.
Why?
Well... He had been secretly leaving wonderland courting gifts for Leona and the other man had caught him, judging by the look he wasn't happy with the bunnies secret courting.
He knew Leona wasn't a fan of herbivores like (name) but he couldn't help it! He was so cool and handsome! God was he in over his head? God, he was stupid to think he would want him!
(Name) wanted to cry as he talked himself out of it.
For the past six weeks Leona had been finding strange gifts for him, tiny cakes and nonsense poems and tea flavors that were strange combinations to say the least. "What the..." He lifted a tiny bottle that said "drink me" he wasn't going to but he was going to figure out what the potion was-- well he was getting Ruggie to do it as he couldn't be bothered to do it himself.
"Luck potion?" The small gold potion sparked under the lights in the dorm "super hard to make apparently, whoever made it for you must have taken forever to get the ingredients~" Ruggie said with a sing song voice and Leona looked at the bottle with a bored expression.
Interesting.
Little trinkets and oddities made their way to Leona, the lion had yet to see just whom it was who left him these gifts but each one was more personal than the last, weird gifts but they were nice none the less.
"A pillow?" He mumbled as he looked at the note "an enchanted pillow that is always cool and never lumpy" oddly specific but the admirer took into consideration of his naps instead of chastising him.
Then he saw it.
Heartslabyuls little white rabbit putting a pocket watch on his desk.
"It's you" Leona said passively as he stalked towards the bunny who looked *stressed* to say the least "I-im sorry!" He yelped before bolting, surprisingly fast though Leona should have expected it from a bunny.
He was cute he wouldn't lie.
Now to find the bunny.
(Name) was anxious as he fiddled with his pocket watch, hiding in his burrow as he did his homewor-- well he tried at least, god he felt like such an idiot! Leona looked so annoyed at him!
The entire Heartslabyul dorm noticed the bunnies down mood, having barely left his room to eat-- hell Ace tried luring him out with carrot cake and nothing!
(Name) tried his best to keep his head down but that was hard when the entire savanaclaw dorm was practically hunting you down.
God was Leona really that annoyed?!
"There you are" (name) turned to get pinned against the wall, panic flooding him "courting me only to run off?" Leona teased as he leaned close "are herbaceous little things like yourself always so skittish?"
"I-I apologize... I was to nervous to give them to you face to face..."
"My... How should I punish a herbivore like you, little bunny " Leonas had a cocky grin on his face as he got close enough to his lips nearly touching the poor rabbits who in all this poofed into rabbit form, causing Leona to laugh "you're coming with me little bunny, punishment is napping with me"
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yawnderu · 7 months
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Longing — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
Im crying. Ghost is easily the most beautiful character to write about, this man deserves the world I just want to hold him :/
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I want to love you. I help you recover when you're wounded, I sit next to you during briefings, I watch over you during missions. What do you want? A love poem? I don't know how to write those, but here, I found a knife you may like.
Simon carefully looked at you through the scope of his sniper rifle, making sure no enemies were near you. Whenever he took overwatch, his focus was mainly you. He watched as you took down enemies with ease, basking in the sight of your bloodied yet focused face, helping you take down enemies that could have given you any issues until you were out of his sight.
"Target down." Your voice was music to his ears, breaking him away from his trance as his hand reached for his radio. He cleared his throat before speaking, trying his best to hide the longing in his tone.
"Good job." But oh, you knew. You knew from the moment you looked into his eyes, from the way he always seemed to be next to you no matter what, from the way he always made sure to watch over you, from the way his tone softened when talking to you, from the way he put his hand on corners you may bump into; yet how do you tell a man this broken you love him no matter how shattered his soul is? How do you go about introducing him to your friends? Do you just say "hi, this is my boyfriend, he's a little rough around the edges but I see God when I look into his eyes"?
"Rendezvous at the helipad." Was his only indication, though it lacked the usual bite his words carried. Loving you was a low-grade ache, yet he still craved your love. He always felt undeserving of nice things, undeserving of life, completely unaware that the world owed him after everything that happened to him, yet his only interest was you.
Intimacy scares me, but I can make you a cool mask. As he walked, he remembered the time he "lost" a bet with you, his punishment was to make you a matching balaclava. He acted annoyed at it, as if it was an inconvenience, as if he didn't spend twice as much as he spent making his own mask just to make sure every single detail on the balaclava was perfect. Completely alone in the middle of nowhere, he allowed himself to snicker softly, remembering your surprised face when you saw the carefully crafted mask. The way you treated it with so much care as if it was made of glass, the way you put it on and looked just as beautiful as ever.
"Ghost?" Your voice broke him out of it, not even realizing he was already at the helipad. He nodded his head once he saw you, gaze drifting around before he walked past you.
"Simon. Call me Simon."
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thisonehere · 4 months
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The Lin Kuei boys get jealous after you get flowers from another man
Mk1 Headkanons
C/w: Yandere tropes, jealousy, toxic relationship, G/n reader, mentions of violence, stalking, these men being unreasonable and irrational lol
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Bi-Han
The Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei has never been affectionate, especially when it came to you. But while saying that, he hated the idea of someone else showing you affection or even making you happy. The idea of another (especially a man) putting a smile on your face, giving you a warm feeling inside, even making you laugh, burned him.
So when someone (Maybe some member of the Lin Kuei or even Johnny Cage) works up the courage to give you a nice bouquet, he rages.
You can feel his eyes burn a hole into the back of your head as you graciously receive the gift and thank the man.
You smile and giggle causing Bi-Han to shake with rage. The final straw was when he saw your face, or what was on your face. Blush, you were blushing. Bi-Han's mind begins to race. Why are you blushing? Does he make you happy? Happier than when you are with him? Did you prefer this man to him?
Without even thinking anymore he attacks the man, punching him so hard that his teeth are scattered all over the floor. He pummels him with no mercy and not a single sign of stopping. It takes you and a few other Lin Kuei to finally rip him off the poor man.
You drag him home but this isn't the end of it. "What is wrong with you?" "YOU and you whoring ways." before you know it, you're arguing, neither of you shows any sign of relenting. Soon the arguing turns into a screaming match, and things get so heated to the point that Bi-Han punches a wall leaving a massive dent.
Tears stream down your face as you yell at him to get out. For a moment his eyes soften and grow wide with hurt and shock, but immediately harden as he turns and slams the door behind him, basically breaking the door and the wall. Leaving you there alone crying.
Time passes, minutes become hours, hours become days, days, become weeks, and you and Bi-han haven't talked to each other. Whenever you see each other you quickly look away, refusing to even make eye contact with the man. You don't see it, but Bi-Han is hurt by this, but he buries it down and puts on his usually stern face.
Finally, it all ends one night when you hear someone knocking at your door. You open it to find Bi-Han, his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are puffy and red, he's trying his best to keep it together but it's obvious that he'll break at any second.
"I'm... Sorry." He forces out his mouth, this is something hard for him to do. He'd rather be fighting Liu Kang than be facing you right about now. "You mean so much to me, I don't want to lose you..." he admits.
He then gets onto his knees and prostrates himself before you. After a few moments, you sigh and let him back inside.
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Kuai Liang
Kuai Liang has never hidden his love for you, he'd show it every chance he got. He'd buy you gifts and send you poems spouting his eternal devotion to you, and more stuff like that. He feels confident in this relationship and your feelings for him.
So when that man comes up to you and gives you flowers, he isn't the least bit jealous... well, that's what he wants to believe.
It bothers him the way you smile at receiving the gift, you laugh and even blush. What are you doing, he thinks to himself. Why are you acting like this? Does his gifts make you act this way? Aren't you happy with him? Isn't he enough for you?
He forces a smile onto his face and tries to retain his composure. He then finds the opportunity and interjects, saying something like you need to go because of an emergency.
Afterwards, he will do everything in his power to make you happy. Do you want flowers? Fine, he'll find the most beautiful and exotic ones the realms could offer. He'll make multiple gestures to display his affection, hoping that you'll return it.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many times you tell him you love him, he will see that bouquet of flowers that you still keep and jealousy and insecurity consume him.
One day, he'll see the flowers in the pot you specifically chose for it and just stare at them. Before he can even top and think, he grabs the pot and throws it to the ground. He stomps at it and even uses his power to burn it to ashes.
Of course, all this ruckus gets your attention and you rush in and find Kuai Liang hitting the ground where the flowers were. Its ground is broken and charged by his spontaneous and reckless actions.
"What are you doing?!" You shout, both confused and even scared by this. Kuai's head shoots up realizing you're in the room. "Y/n, I didn't...You...I... I'm sorry." He turns and rushes out of the room.
For the next few weeks, Kuai will avoid you at all costs. Too ashamed of himself to face you after what he did. Every time you try to talk to him he quickly gets away. You don't understand why he's acting like this, did you do something? Does he hate you?
Finally, you can corner him. You try to talk to him, ask him what's wrong. Kuai rushes past you and attempts to quickly get away from you, but he stops when he hears a sniffling noise. He turns and sees you crying. It was then he finally realised how much he was hurting you. He hated himself even more now, he was so busy thinking about himself that he didn't even stop to think about how his actions were affecting you.
He walks back up to you and holds you. "I-I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. Those flowers... they...it doesn't matter anymore. I love you." He says as he pulls you in and tightly holds you.
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Tomas Vrbada
Tomas was and always has been insecure about the relationship. He's constantly scared that you'll one day leave him. You were the most beautiful and wonderful thing to happen to him, how could he not worry that things were too good to be true. It didn't help that he knew about all the others that desired you. He already lost his family, he couldn't lose you as well.
When you are offered flowers by that man, Tomas does everything he can to maintain his composure as you smile and laugh as you happily receive the gift. He watches as you continue your conversation with the man, he feels strange urges come over him. The urge to rip the flowers from out your hands and stomp them to pieces, the urge to beat the man to a bloody pulp, the urge to...what was happening to him?
Quickly he interjects into the conversation and insists that you have to go. You leave and Tomas tries to stop thinking about what just happened. But the way you are smiling at the bouquet so fondly it makes him go mad.
For the next few weeks nothing happens, Tomas seems off though. You ask what's wrong but he insists that everything is fine. So you don't think much about it, if Tomas wants to talk to you about it he will. And continue on with your daily routines...unaware that Tomas is following you.
Everywhere you go, he's too far behind. He keeps to the shadows, using powers to help him hide from you. He has to see everything you do, everywhere you go, every person you talk to. He loves you, but he can't seem to trust you for the life of him.
You realize something's wrong when Kuai comes to you and reveals that Tomas hasn't been fulfilling his tasks and duties. You immediately start to get concerned. He's been very distant lately, does this have anything to do with it? Why was he acting strange? Why won't he talk to you about it? You try to catch him before he leaves and talk to him. But seems to avoid you like the black plague and rushes out of the house.
You sigh and go on with the rest of your day. But since Kuai told you this news, you've seemed to become on edge for no reason. You become paranoid that someone is following you. As you make your way through your daily routine, you see the very same man who gave you the flowers and happily go to him and have a conversation.
Tomas watches you two talk and he feels an anger rise up in him. The way you two chatted so happily like you were in love, Tomas couldn't take it any more and spring from the shadows and confront you. "I-I can't believe you, was nothing we had special?!"
You didn't understand what was happening, Tomas suddenly appeared and he was yelling at you. Screaming at the man and chasing him away. He admits to following you and is grateful that he did, seeing how familiar you are with other men.
"Y-You were stalking me?" You suddenly yelled back. Hearing you say, Tomas realizes quickly how insane he was acting. His cheeks flush as his once confident form shrinks into an awkward one. "Oh gods, Y/n, I'm so sorry. I-" but before he can finish, you turn your back on him and you walk away, leaving him there all alone.
Weeks go by as you avoid him, you don't come home, and you don't speak Kuai either, it's like you disappeared off the face of the planet. These were some of the loneliest weeks Tomas has ever experienced in his life, he couldn't eat he could sleep, and he couldn't even build up the strength to get out of bed. What was even the point? Without you, life didn't have much meaning.
You finally build up the courage and come back home, hoping for some closure and to settle things. Tomas immediately swings open the door and ushers you inside. He is quick to start apologizing, he is in a desperate state. He even starts to break down and cry.
This pathetic display moves you, you admit that you missed him. You embrace each other and cry in each other's arms. "I'm so sorry, please don't leave me," he begs.
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inkdrinkerworld · 24 days
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Spencer reid sends you a period basket every month no matter where he is!!! Without fail there’s a bouquet of flowers, your favourite chocolates, a poem or excerpt from whatever he’s reading, and some of your favourite skincare or body care and he just likes knowing that he’s going to get either a video or FaceTime call from you to tell him about it
Omg like Yolanda and Zack on TT!!!
Spencer knows that your period is a little irregular so he waits for the minute you start exhibiting pms symptoms.
He always checks to see what you have and what you need and takes stock mentally of all that he wants to get you too.
This month had been a little harder on you than others and so he goes a little crazy.
“My period came,” you sound a little pleased, glad it hasn’t been too late this month, but also a little peeved because the cramps are not letting up.
“I got your basket right here, angel.” You look up at him as he holds a bouquet in one hand and a basket in the next. “They’re fresh, the lady at the florist had just picked them.”
You lean up for a kiss, Spencer smiling when you take it and take a big inhale of the carnations. “Thank you Spence,” he hands over the basket next.
You go through it, taking the essentials, your pads and tampons and then your chocolates, out first. Then you see the folded sweater on the bottom. “Spence,” it’s a soft material, softer than your usual sweaters, something that you want to switch into now. You hardly hesitate to do it.
Then you see the face masks and serums and even some aromatherapy oils. “Thank you baby.”
Spencer accepts the way you vault yourself into him, holding the back of your head close to his chest as his other arm wraps around you.
“You’re the best boyfriend ever.” You whisper into his clothes and he chuckles.
“That’s just boyfriend duties, sweetheart. Plus one of the things is late. Should be here tomorrow though.”
You pull back, shocked and a little skeptical of how breezy his tone is. “Spencer Reid.” You try to be stern.
“Yes, my love?” He strokes your face from temple to jaw, tilting his head down a little as he stares at you.
“You’re no fair. What did you order?” You ask softly, a little lost in your adoration for him.
“A box set. The new series you wanted, I preordered it.” Tears spring fresh to your eyes, your bottom lip trembling as you feel the openness of his love for you- of how easy he finds it to dole out his love and affection and dote on you.
“Hey, no tears.” He wipes them away with his sleeve, gentle pressure on your cheeks. “I thought you’d be happy, or are these happy tears?”
You nod, “You’re just…” you can’t seem to settle on the right word. “,perfect.”
Spencer laughs rubbing your arms. “Thank you, but that’s not possible. Wanna watch movies with me? There’s the good popcorn, in the cupboards too.”
“Spencer stop. You’re gonna make me cry even more, I’m already so emotional.” He only hums, kissing your forehead as he reaches for the tv remote.
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daydreamingyuta · 5 months
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NCT as Husbands Series: Mark Lee
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summary: fluff, drabble, husband!mark wc: 823 nct as husbands masterlist a/n: ...if I don't get to fall in love with a guy who's just like mark!
I just know that Mark would be the best! husband!!
He’s so romantic and just such a gentleman!! Like even after being with you for so long he takes the time to listen to you and understand you. which is definitely his way of loving you!
You would have to remind him of how great of a husband he is. because showing him you appreciate him will make him melt. But also because he’s so infatuated with you and sometimes feels like he isn’t good enough for you 🥺 so of course you have to remind him of how amazing he is!
Also you're literally his muse! like he finds so much inspiration from you. The amount of love songs and sweet poems he's written for you 🥺🥺
Also doesn’t shut up about how much he’s in love with you. Like makes sure the whole world knows. like he literally cannot stop himself from talking about you but it's just because he loves you so much and can't help himself from bringing you into every conversation.
He's just such a sweet and genuine soul and you would be the luckiest girl in the world to have him as your husband!
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It's two in the morning when you wake up from a deep sleep. You think that it's time to get up until you see the time and lay your head back on the pillow. It's not until your hand reaches out for Mark, that you notice he's not in bed with you. You two had both fallen asleep together, so you know that he must have woken up earlier and couldn't go back to sleep. This was a typical occurrence, and often all he needs to fall back asleep is to cuddle with you as you gently scratch your nails up and down his back to soothe him. So, you hop out of bed and throw on a sweater so you can go find him in hopes of coaxing him back to bed. You're about four steps from the living room, when you hear muffled sniffles. Your heart immediately drops knowing that Mark was crying. You make your way over to him on the couch and place your hand on his shoulder which gives him a little shock as he wasn't expecting you. "Mark, what's wrong?" You ask and then notice that he was holding the album that had all your wedding pictures in his hands. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I just couldn't sleep and our wedding anniversary is in a few weeks and I don't know, I just wanted to look at you in your wedding dress again." He wipes his tears away before he leans his head on your shoulder. You try to comfort him by rubbing your hand up and down the length of his arm. "Aw baby, it's ok you didn't wake me up but why is this making you cry?" "I don't know. It's just- before I met you I really never thought that I could have ever seen myself getting married. I used to be so confused and uncertain about the future but then I met you and... it was like everything all of sudden made sense. and then on our wedding day, when I saw you walking down the aisle in your dress, I just knew. I like just knew that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. and that all my steps, mistakes, and decisions led me to you and how thankful I am that everything led me to you y/n." "Markkk" You say, now starting to tear up along with him. He pulls you in a hug, not trying to hide his tears any longer. "I don't even know what to say but I love you so so so much." You two stay like that together for a while, just wanting to enjoy each other's presence during the sweet moment. However, once you feel your eyelids start to grow heavy, you know Mark must be getting tired as well. "Let's go back to bed, ok?" Mark yawns as he nods, showing just how sleepy he is. "Do you mind doing the back thing with your nails so I can go to sleep?" "Of course." You say, kissing him on his temple. You both head back to bed, Mark in front of you, but then something prompts you to look back. You see the photo album and the mess of tissues on the floor, but when you look closer, you see a slight smudge on the protective cover of a photo of you. You wipe it gently away and you immediately know the feel of it. It was chapstick, meaning Mark must have kissed your picture. Your heart completely melts at the thought as you set the photo album down and head to bed, knowing that you need to give him extra cuddles tonight for being so sweet and cute.
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spidybaby · 2 months
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The "A" Team
Summary: Kylian needs your help to get out of an awkward situation.
Warnings: none ❤️
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Kylian was impatient, knee bouncing as a sign of it.
He was in a PSG meeting, all the players needed to be there for a very long talk about the new season changes with Luis Enrique.
Kylian was leaving, but that didn't mean he wasn't forced to go. He tried his best to get out of there.
He wasn't going to be there for the new season, so why was he there?
Hakimi and him were making jokes and messing with Ousmane and Fabian. Earning a few glares from the technical team and making them stop.
He needed a plan, he wanted to get out of there. He was thinking about taking a nap, he felt tired.
"Don't yawn again, you're making me yawn." Achraf hit him with his arm. "Why are you even here for? You're fired."
"I'm not fired." He says, the sassy tone makes Achraf smile. "I put up my two weeks."
"Six months better say." Ousmane joins. "Kylian Saint Germain ain't going to be Kylian Saint Germain anymore." He jokes, sad that at the end his friend will leave the team.
Kylian laugh, he can't deny that he will miss the team, the trainers, the family he created there, and people who he will forever love.
When they give them a few minutes to get something to eat or drink at the little table they set for that, Kylian got an idea.
You were home, resting from a flue. You were free to help him to get out of there. Maybe if you called him he can fake an emergency.
He texted you, ready to settle the plan and make it work in the next fifteen minutes he has to use his phone and to eat something.
You were doing some tv marathon, watching Sponge Bob while eating some popcorn. When your phone rings, you check that kylian was asking you to call him in five and ask him to pick you up.
You smile, he was bored and helpless with the talk.
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Credit of the pic to: @kylianmbappee, thank you for letting me use it for this ❤️✨️
You continue watching Sponge Bob, waiting for the time to go. When you checked if the five minutes passed, you were ready to act.
Kylian was with Achraf, Fabian and Luis Enrique when his phone rang, he smiled. "Lover boy can't spend a moment without his lady." Fabian says.
"C'mon, let us say hi to our favorite girl." Achraf jokes. He always request to talk to you and mess with you over the phone.
"Let me put her on speaker." He smiles, he knows the show is about to start. "Bonjour, bébé."
"Kylian, oh my God, please, I need you." You fake cry, it sounds so real that he almost forgets about your plan. "I don't know what happened, I don't have anyone to call, please come. I don't want to be alone here, ky please."
The looks of the three men is a poem, the worried eyes, and open mouths. They're down.
"Joder, where is she?" Fabian says, he's very much worried about you. "Joder, Ky you need to go."
He was about to turn to where they were seated when you kept going.
"Kylian, please hurry. I need you here." You cry harder this time.
"Kylian, go. This meeting can wait." Luis pushed him to the door. They all are worried. "Hurry, go."
He takes the speaker off, you still acting up and crying for help. He asks you where you are, pretending to be worried, and he wins a few glares of people around them.
"I'm on my way, amour, wait please." He grabs his coat, Achraf is asking him is he needs a ride, he shake his head no. "Don't hang up, I'm on my way."
"Text me when you're with her." Hakimi pats his back as he runs to the door. "Be safe."
He exited the club quickly, telling his driver to take him home. Once they're two blocks away from the club he laughs.
"You're such a great actress. If you want, I can get you a role on a show." He jokes with you. "I'll be home in a few, mon amour."
"Bring me some boneless and a soda, a big one, like really big." You say, hungry after that big role you pull. "And some dessert, maybe two pieces of cake." You exaggerate.
"Everything for you, I'll be there as soon as I get your things."
You smile knowing that your role was good and you will have your man all the evening with you.
While he gets back to you, you are still streaming Sponge Bob, realizing and thinking about what a krabby patty taste like.
"Amour, I'm home."
You turn your head to him, getting up and walking to him with your arms open, ready to greet your lover.
"Hello, Mister Mbappé, I heard your girlfriend had a thing going on, poor girl. She's really unstable." You kiss him, smirking about your joke.
"She is, but you know what they say, the crazier the better." He kisses you again, pecking your lips many times until he pulls away.
"I got you your wings and your cake, plus the biggest soda I could purchase." He hug you from the back, pointing at all the things he got you.
You two sit down to watch a movie, not thinking much about the day or the meeting.
"Hakimi just texted me, he's asking if I'm okay." You show him the text. "I'm just going to ignore it for the day."
"Yeah, I left my phone on airplane mode." He smirks. "I'm spending some time with my fav member of our A team."
"We're an A team." You smile, hugging him while cuddling on the couch.
🪷🪷🪷
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diejager · 9 months
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wait did that person not know what cnc meant? not to be rude, but what did they think they were reading when it said cnc😭
i love your yandere price stuff so so so much omg grrrr 😵‍💫🩵 can you talk about any yandere price headcannons you have? kidnapping the reader and taking them home, locking the reader away and him using them like toy for his own needs 😖 you can make this non-con if you want, i don't mind since i know you have amazing ideas! :)
but please ignore this if it makes you uncomfy!!! 💐
On the contrary, this made me smile a bit too much to be seen as normal tbh… I’m actually not even sure what they expected from Non-con, sunshines and rainbows? Maybe the just didn’t expect that. And thank you!!🥰 I just ADORE you’re toxic dadbod!Price. It’s bloody genius 🤤
Headcanon
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Pairing: Yan!Captain John Price x fem!reader
CW: DARK, yandere, possessive behaviour, kidnapping, NON-CON, power kink, authority kink, breeding, pregnancy, basement wife, spanking, I def missed a few- WC: 1.1k
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Yan!Price isn’t afraid of showing others who you belong to. It might be in many purple and red marks on your neck, kisses and bites from the day before and accumulating with every passing day. Or it might be various dark bruises on your arms and thighs, placed in specific areas that would make it impossible to hide when you wear shorts, t-shirts and a tank top.
For someone known for his professionalism, he doesn’t hide his affection for you at all. Yan!Price hovers over you like a hawk, always keeping a hand on you. Whether it’s his hand on your shoulder, his arm around your hip, or his warm palm sliding down the hollow of your back, dancing on the edge of indecent and suggestive. 
Yan!Price may not be a firm believer of fate or destiny, but for you, he believes it was the iron hand of fate. He was destined to meet you when you were still fresh, a bright-eyed and happy soldier that passed the assessment tests and followed superiors like a lost puppy. You were a blessing to him, you didn’t challenge his authority, you did boast about your grades and you didn’t spew nonsensical dreams and goals of becoming a general, the best sniper or the strongest. 
Yan!Price is a respectable man with respectable habits, even with the subtle glances he throws your way and the hungry way his eyes rove over your body. With respectability, comes other less appropriate things he does when he’s on his own. His rank and power ooze from his form, the broad shoulders and gruff, yet kind, face inspire respect from others, but from you, he demands more. His carnality drowns his sense of duty with you.
Yan!Price has a deep need to sate his power kink, keeping his rank even in moments of intimacy. His words are law, his hands are the hammer and you, the thing he manhandles and bends to his will. 
Yan!Price likes to call you his pet when he punishes you for something that might or might not have been of your own doing. He bends you over his knee and makes you count the number of spanks he gives. If you miss one, he makes you redo them from the start, no matter the number of strikes. Or he uses you to his leisure, in a rough and demeaning way that makes you cry and whimper, apologise for something - anything so that he would stop.
Yan!Price calls you private - your rank - when he feels the need to use it, enforcing his authority kink. Fucking you dumb over his desk until you drool and lose all sense, babbling and crying. He likes hearing you beg, hearing you plead. Screaming “please” over and over again sends his body shuddering (He could care less if they were pleads for more or for him to stop, he doesn’t bother with that theoretics).
Or Yan!Price sings you poems and adoringly obsessive nothings, calling you love as he takes care of you, pulling you over the edge again and again, over and over, until you pass out from pleasure. He’s soft in those moments, caring and loving to his cute fiancé. He focuses on your pleasure over his, leaving his leaking and aching until you’re satisfied or out cold.
If he can’t have you transferred to his team - for whatever reason - he’d result in kidnapping you. Kidnapping is a harsh word, he’s not kidnapping you, he’s taking you away from a life of pain and hardship. Yan!Price is taking care of you at home, where you’re far from having a gun pointed at you or being threatened by a knife.
You start up in the basement if you act out too much. Yan!Price has the room built just right to fit your every need. The door’s locked with a dozen locks, he’s not paranoid, he’s simply planning in advance as a Captain should. He’s caring for you. 
When you start listening, he lets you roam the house, sleep in the same bed, eat at the kitchen table and shower in the upstairs bathroom. Yan!Price’s softer in this setting, he acts like your lover and husband-to-be - he is. He cooks for you, he helps you shower, he orders you around and he does everything to ensure that you live comfortably - or as comfortably as you can in this situation.
Try as he might, you don’t fall madly in love with him as he does with you. Loving embraces, mind-blowing orgasms, a comfortable life and a caring man seem meaningless to you. So Yan!Price decides to fuck a kid into you, what other option would make you marry him? You weren’t so heartless as to want to separate your child from their father. You’re too soft, too caring for the life of a soldier. How dreadful would it be to have a child out of wedlock? You’d marry him then, wouldn’t you?
Pregnant or not; subservient or not; happy or not; none of it matters, you’re his, his to love, his to care, his to fuck. You are his to do so. After everything he went through to take you, to care for and feed you, to give you a child, you owe him all the world. His pet, his private, his love, his wife, you owe Yan!Price so much that he could do anything he wants with you. You would let him let him use you as he wants, wouldn’t you?
He has a desk in his office where he can bend you over, he has a queen size bed where he can mount you, he has so many walls in the hose where he can push you against and he has a garage where he stores his car for other uses. 
You’re on your period? Doesn’t matter to him, he doesn’t shy from a bit of blood, he’s in the army. You’re in pain? Don’t worry, he’ll take the pain away with his cock. You’re sleepy? He doesn’t mind fucking an unconscious body, you’ll still react in your sleepy haze. You’re pregnant? He’ll be careful, he promises, he’ll only use his tongue and finger, he can fuck his hand or your warm mouth.
Although he’s rough and mean, Yan!Price loves you, he truly does. He cares for you. You’re his world. He even takes time off from his military campaigns to spend time with you. If you want something, he’d buy it for you. If you want him, he’d give himself to you. If you want more kids running around, he’d get you as fat and round as many times you want. But if you want freedom? The possibility of returning to your training? That wouldn’t be possible, he doesn’t approve.
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ceruleancattail · 1 year
Note
so like pls dont judge me of this request of mine—
can i actually request octavinelle butlers grow a romantic feelings for reader and they feel the same way? i swear i just want a romance between a noble with personal butler 😭
Simp🫵/j
A Butler’s Love
Jade loves you silently.
He isn’t one to shower you in loving words, or sing your praises. Jade knows the power of his words, considering how he uses them to bend people to his will. When it comes to you, he’ll much rather be authentic. Although, he’s not opposed to a sly line here and there. Whispered into your ear, accompanied with a deep chuckle. Jade likes making you flustered. It’s nice to see just how much of a hold he has on you.
You’ll notice his feelings in the little things. With every mushroom foray, he comes back with a handful of flowers. Jade’s taken to drying them , before pressing them in your favourite books. It’s always a pleasant surprise to see delicate blossoms tucked into the pages, remains of it’s cloying scent tickling your nostrils. You’ve taken to carrying a book around, searching for the meanings of the blossoms he tucked into those pages.
They’re always sweet, really. Through the voice of nature’s treasures, he speaks to you. The language of love, wrapping around your heart, tugging at it softly.
At the end of every book, he places a white clover. Jade’s little plea, perhaps? A silent dream of his. He’ll love for one day where he’ll be able to hold you. Hold you like a lover. Until then, he’ll toil silently. All he wishes is for you to think of him.
Floyd loves you with all his heart.
He has never been one to beat about the bush. Floyd’s direct, and he tells things as it is. No matter who he talks to, Floyd’s blunt to a fault. He does delight in the aguish of others, especially if they’re emotional. It’s always fun to watch them blow up.
With you?
He’s not really much different. Although you’ll notice Floyd poking fun at you more often then the others. It makes sense, considering you’re his master. He’s like a child, pressing at every button he can reach. Floyd’s face lights up in delight whenever you react. It’s just so fun! Lil’ Shrimpy’s reactions are the best after all.
Whether you’re happy, or you’re sad, Floyd likes all your faces. He’ll take note of visual cues, indicators of your emotions. This comes in handy, especially during events. If you’re the slightest bit uncomfortable, he’s stepping in, arm pulling you towards him. You’re sad? Floyd’s right there. Here, he’ll lean down a little. Cry on his shoulder, shrimpy. Take as much time as you need. He’s here for you. Now, and always.
Floyd reads you, over and over like a child’s treasured storybook. Pouring over every page, he knows you like the back of his hand. He loves everything about you.
Do you love him back? Floyd hopes you will.
Azul loves you sincerely.
It’s hard for him to say that about anyone, really. In the business world, that word’s used too much, too often for it to actually mean everything. Every letter signed off with that word, it’s become nothing but a formality. It’s just something you say to be polite.
But when it comes to you? Sincerely starts to take on a new meaning, for him in particular. Azul starts to take a certain sort of pride, being able to do things for you. You trust him enough to serve you personally. That’s definitely something to be proud of, no?
His biggest comforts would be paper and pen. The written world is wonderful. No one can every deny what’s inked down in black. It’s to no one’s surprise that that’s how he expresses his love. Little notes left around the house, cursive lining the pages. Words of praise, sometimes a poem, or just a simple : “ You look wonderful today.”
However, one thing is constant. He’ll always sign of with “yours sincerely.” Contrary to the emotionless words he scribbles on business letters, Azul pours his love in every letter to you.
If he’s sincere in one thing, that’ll be his love for you, his dearest master.
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intuitivesef · 1 year
Text
A poem from your future spouse
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Pick a card reading
Don’t second guess yourself when choosing a card. Trust your intuition.
Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.
Credit for dividers: @danowh0re
Moodboard: @hannamichelle-seraf
Masterlist
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Pile 1:
My love, The ocean waves flow in a calm manner, The breeze hits our faces with a refreshing mark. The blanket flees like a seagull, and our laugh echoes through the wind. Your cheesy remark makes me laugh, our food is now a mess, Yet we aren’t mad nor sad, we leave the area alone—find our way home, To see a beautiful sunset coming upon the shore. The fishes feel safe, the turtles aren’t sad and so are we. Come and find me, my dear, I am waiting patiently, I will wait till my death, For I am hopelessly in love with you, And will always be.
ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ
Channeled song:
Anastasia|Once Upon a December – Liz Callaway
want to give me tips, thank me, pay me, etc for my channeled readings? -> $intuitivesef - thanks :)
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Pile 2:
A wishing well is beneath us, Come and find it—wish for me as I wish for you, Seek beneath the unknown and look for a wishing well, My darling, let’s go on an adventure—allow us to be Alice in wonderland, Let’s become Coraline without the other mother, Seek a thrill with me. Let’s run down a hill and feel the cool breeze on our faces, Lay down on a flower field and look into each other’s eyes. You’re so beautiful, my heart beats faster every day, My heart cannot take the beauty I see within you. Red pinkish cheeks and a smile on my face with you. Cold hands, cold heart, the energy of the cold, But with you it all changes. You’re my sun, my warmth, my everything, I cannot imagine my life without you because, you, my angel, Are everything my heart desires and yet here we are. I’ve been so blessed to call you mine—I cannot imagine my life without you. I just cannot, I just never will. You are my everything.
ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ
Channeled song:
Love Story — Indila
want to give me tips, thank me, pay me, etc for my channeled readings? -> $intuitivesef - thanks :)
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Pile 3:
Beauty and Beast will never compare to the way I fell in love with you, Your soul caught my eyes instantly, You do not know the feelings I felt the moment I laid eyes on you, You walked, I looked, I knew. My mind told me to come after you and yet I did not, For I am a coward, but you appeared in my life again, And again, and again… That was my sign to race after you, I’m so thankful I did, Listening to my heart was the best thing I did, I get to hold you in my arms and cuddle you until you fall asleep, Singing to you, laughing with you is better than a fairytale, Love is like a fairytale, but this is not a tale, This is a tale of perfection—sweet, beautiful, perfection. Your eyes sparkle when we dance under the moonlight, Seeing a galaxy in your eyes, Looking under the stars is not a comparison, The way you look at me is something I cannot stop thinking of. You’re always on my mind, I wouldn’t change it for a thing. You’re my star, my rose, my everything, Je t’aime beaucoup. (I love you very much)
ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ
Channeled song:
Beauty and the Beast — Ariana Grande and John Legend
want to give me tips, thank me, pay me, etc for my channeled readings? -> $intuitivesef - thanks :)
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Pile 4:
Loving you was the hardest, I could not do it, I didn’t want to do it, But I did. It was the greatest feeling known to man. You’re my shining knight in armor, The one thing I was missing, The one thing I yearn for, Yet was afraid of. For you, I’m so ever thankful, You do not know the love and compassion you have shown me. My best friend, my love, my princess/prince. Thank you for showing me to be vulnerable, Showing me the beauty of falling in love, I would do this journey over again, Till my breath stops. You’re the wish, I didn’t know I needed. You’re the love I didn’t know I deserved. You’re the adventure I yearned for. You’re the blessing I thought didn’t exist. You’re the reason why I cry happy tears, The reason why I feel safe, The reason why I’m not paranoid anymore, The reason I feel special every day, The reason I’m excited to go home, You are my home. I am so lucky. Very, Very lucky.
ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ઇଓ
Channeled songs:
Best friend – Jason Chen DON’T WANNA FALL – Stevie Hoang
want to give me tips, thank me, pay me, etc for my channeled readings? -> $intuitivesef - thanks :)
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654 notes · View notes
amelee23 · 8 months
Text
Cleaning supplies... Under the moonlight | Hwang Hyunjin
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Pairing: Hyunjin x reader (no pronouns used but they are wearing a swim suit)
Characters: best friend!Hyunjin, reader, David (reader’s boyfriend), Jihyo and Luna (reader’s friends) and Sharon (identity is a spoiler). None of the original characters resemble real people.
Genre: Romance, best friends to lovers, ANGST, hurt/comfort, being saved from a messy break-up, slow burn, star-crossed lovers
Word Count: 8k
Warnings: CHEATING (reader gets cheated on by her boyfriend), toxic relationship, messy break-up, crying, reader becomes very insecure, Hyunjin is there to save the day, and he’s pining hard, reader is wearing a swim suit, I have no idea how heated pools work so don’t quote me on anything, Hyunjin is a poet so; I present to you confessing feelings through love poems, Hyunjin is shirtless, swearwords, reader gets called ‘angel’, kissing, cuddles, a bit of revenge, humor, the tense change is intentional (kinda), hopelessly romantic stuff, poetic prose, metaphors galore and lots of word plays (if you catch them all I’ll give you a gold star.)
A/n: I know the first part of the story focused on the reader’s relationship with her toxic boyfriend, but Hyunjin will become the main focus after the break-up so please don’t let the beginning intimidate you. Also I worked on this an entire week lord send help
Synopsis: Your vacation was supposed to go like this: scented candles, a warm pool and the light of the moon, in hopes of fixing your relationship with your boyfriend. But the universe had other plans. After you found out he has been cheating, you bathed under the moonlight, surrounded by broken roses, being confessed in poems by your best friend Hyunjin, and you’ve never felt so whole.
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You've put everything into this vacation.
And that didn't only mean money, albeit it was quite costly. You, your boyfriend and some close friends decided to rent out a vacation house with a gigantic heated pool, to at least create a fun, leisure memory before summertime slipped between your fingers and the sun would grow sad and dim once again. With the price shared by so many people, it was still quite a lot - but you didn't care, because there was more emotion put behind this vacation than mere money.
Perhaps it wasn't the healthiest of solutions, just how when a couple decided to get married to fix their relationship (which to you always seemed like such a horrid idea), you were trying something similar. You wanted this vacation with your boyfriend, David. Things between you haven't been good, that would be the simplest way to put it. His behavior changed, he became more distant, less passionate about your relationship, and one thing led to another and you were fighting because of your growing suspicions. Truth be told, you were terrified. Afraid he didn't love you anymore, afraid he found someone else to spend his nights with.
He had been everything to you, the fiber woven from your cells, the beginning and end of every breath you took - because when you loved, you didn't hold back. And it came to you so naturally, too; to love him. You've never had something so simple, so stable until you met him. But they do say every good thing must come to an end, and there's this little cricket in the back of your mind, at low volume but at an unbearable high pitch, following you every moment, whether awake or asleep. It's telling you your gut is right. Vivi (so you've nicknamed him, many months ago, when his friends were making fun of how basic the name David is) has told you a million times you had nothing to worry about. That he's just busy, or stressed, or that your love is just settling into something more calm, rather than an intense teenage-like love, like it used to be in the beginning. He's made you feel insane so many times over. Like you're just imagining things, like your insecurities are getting out of hand and you're just projecting on him, lashing out at him. You thought you deserved the pain that came with the accusations of being untrusting, immature, unconfident, inconsiderate or selfish. But you didn't, of course you didn't. You didn't deserve any of that.
You were afraid Vivi wouldn't agree to the vacation, or even if he did, he wouldn't pull through on the money part and you'd have to pay his share. You were ready to annihilate your savings account just for this one chance at a happy memory. This one chance at making things right. But surprisingly, he agreed in a heartbeat and even suggested a specific vacation house he's heard of from his friends. Not even two days later, he had all the details down, made the math of the expenses and put together the whole group chat. You thought this was it, he was actually trying again. Showing you he still does have the passion to make you happy.
You couldn't have picked out a better date for the vacation, either. The first night, it would be a full moon, with a clear sky. You were imagining it already, how magical it was going to be, soaking in a heated pool under the moonlight with David, reciting your love vows once more, like you used to do in the start of your relationship. You couldn't help how hopelessly romantic you were, you needed to let it out, confess disgustingly sappy and cheesy words of admiration. But more than that, you needed him to tell you he loves you. You needed it.
When you arrived, you were met with a stranger who had been waiting for you and your friends at the vacation house. She introduced herself as Sharon, the daughter of the owner. Since her father was busy, she was left in charge of giving you the orientation.
"I'm not going to bother you much." She assured you, her voice was low in volume and yet high in pitch. "I'm just going to give you a quick tour of the rooms and then explain to you how the pool works, and what cleaning supplies you can use just in case you need them." She was a beautiful girl, so beautiful in fact, that the cricket in the back of your mind was telling you to be envious. You couldn't quite understand it, but you brushed it off.
There were three rooms in the house, each of them with their own bathroom. It was so much more luxurious than you imagined, and suddenly it seemed odd that you paid so little for something so grand. You remembered Vivi saying something about a discount, but the memory was vague. Nevertheless, the room count was perfect. One room would belong to you and Vivi, one to Jihyo and Luna, and one to Hyunjin.
You met Jihyo through Vivi, they were coworkers at some point. But the two of you instantly clicked and became girl friends, and the more, the merrier - Luna was her adopted sister, picked up from an orphanage in Spain. She was one of the most incredible and strongest women you've ever met, and you simply adored her. It was so magical to see how the two sisters came in a package, how they looked after each other with unconditional love. You thought something like that only existed in TV shows.
And lastly, there was Hyunjin. A man, a poet, a romantic with beauty deemed worthy of a Greek tragedy. But most importantly, your best friend; your lifeline. He understood you, in ways no one ever could. Your souls were made from the same material, the same thirst of emotions of celestial scales, he saw beauty in the small things just like you did. And he has been there, day in, day out, through your ugliest moments. When you were single at prom, he turned down at least 15 girls to take you instead. When you were too broke to afford Taylor Swift tickets, he pretended to 'roam the city' with you so that you'd listen to the concert from outside the stadium. When a boy broke your heart, he'd turn your pain into the most beautiful poems, and gift them to you in journals filled with drawings of your favorite flowers. He was more than anyone could ever ask for, and you were forever grateful to have such a human in your life. The perfect best friend.
With the tour out of the way, you volunteered to go with Sharon and receive the tutorial about the pool and supplies you must use for it. She explained to you the heating mechanism (although all you needed to do was turn it on, she reassured you.) and that water might need to be replenished if you use the pool a long time since the heat makes it evaporate faster. You jutted down all you could in your notes app, and then followed her to the supply closet. She explained to you about chlorine (although half of what she said went over your head) and showed you the cleaning supplies you can use in the instance that the water becomes extremely dirty (which she knew wouldn't be the case, but she was required to let you know). By the end of it, you were starting to think your senses maybe are going insane. Sharon seemed like a very nice and gentle person, and her attitude was very bright and easygoing. You told her you were gonna take some pictures of the bottles and note down in your phone what they are, so she gave you a warm smile and left you alone in the supply closet.
After writing your own one-thousand-words heated pool manual (pictures included), you were ready to have the vacation of a lifetime. You picked out a swimsuit in Vivi's favorite color, prepared his favorite scented candles to place around the pool, and alerted your friends beforehand that you wanted the pool just for you and Vivi on the first night. It was all coming together perfectly, so you grabbed the door handle with confidence.
"I'm sure my friends wouldn't mind if I leave a little bit later. We could grab some food and then hit up that bar you like? Don't I owe you a mojito?" That was Vivi's voice. Even with the door cracked just a little, you could hear it. It was so clear. It was his voice.
"I would love to." The cricket. Low in volume, high in pitch. It was speaking - it was agreeing to go out with your boyfriend.
"And maybe, afterwards I could take you home? Would you like that?" Your eyes are closed shut. But you couldn't close your ears, unfortunately. The conversation continued, and you could imagine him whispering in her ear, looking into her eyes and tipping her chin just how he used to do with you. Tears were about to escape, so you closed them even tighter. Your lungs were burning, because you were denying them air. Holding your breath, you bit your lip, hands shaking as they gripped the wall.
"Speaking of taking something home, I have something for you-"
You finally took a breath. And you stormed towards the voices.
Your vision was blurry, but after blinking away your tears, an image formed before your eyes: David, holding out a gigantic rose bouquet towards Sharon.
The ugliest flowers you've ever seen in your life, held by the ugliest man you've ever met. He was never beautiful to begin with, right? He couldn't have. A man with such an ugly soul, how could you have been attracted to him? How could you have loved him?
He calls out your name.
"This isn't what it looks like, okay? My dad is friends with Sharon's dad, okay? We became friends by association, okay?"
Okay?  Is he asking you that, or is he asking himself if the lie is plausible?
"And these are for you, yeah?" He's walking towards you, putting the bouquet in your limp hand. "There's nothing going on between me and Sharon." The cricket, it suddenly stopped. Instead, you heard Sharon gasp and look at David in horror. She must have not known. She was also just a victim.
"Just stop it already! Enough with the lies!" You found yourself yelling, a never seen before anger bubbling underneath your skin. Your fingertips urged you towards violence, and so you slammed the roses into the floor. The petals scattered and the stems broke. Your yell must have startled the others, because soon you heard a lot of footsteps behind you - and then Sharon turned around and walked away, a hurt look in her eyes, head hanging low in shame. She was avoiding the eyes of all your friends, who were now staring at you and David.
"Okay, fine. You've gotten boring and I was no longer happy. I was going to leave you anyway." He was so nonchalant, there was no waver in his voice. That made you feel as if every time he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, and his voice wavered, he wasn't honest. Only now, has he finally been honest.
And the most honest, he was when he took off in a run to chase after Sharon. To make sure she's okay. To comfort her and tell her she's the one he loves.
You fell to the floor.
And to your side, rushed no other than Hyunjin. Like always, to make sure you're okay. To comfort you and tell you you are loved.
The sobs broke out of your body and shook you violently. You were a mess of tears in just a few seconds, and you weren't going to hold back. You wailed, grabbed the roses and slammed them into the floor repeatedly.
But it was useless. They couldn't feel pain. They couldn't feel your pain. They couldn't realize what they have done to you.
Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your frame and gently lifted you to your feet.
"C'mon, let's get you in bed, yeah?" Your knees were buckling and you had no strength to stand. You were shaking your head no, like a toddler who didn't want to go back home. "We can continue crying in bed, mmm? Don't worry, I'll let you cry. I'll cry with you, angel." Your arms circled his torso, clutching his shirt between your fingers. You called out his name, and he reassured you he knows, he knows it hurts.
He carefully took your hand and dragged you away. He exchanged glances and nodded at your friends, but you didn't notice. You whispered to him, groggy in voice, that you can't go to your own room, because David's things are there. So Hyunjin took you to his room, which was the best choice for many reasons, not only so you can avoid seeing his things, but also so that he could avoid the urge of throwing David's suitcase out the window.
Hyunjin was true to his words. He sat you down in bed, and let you cry. And before he knew it, he was crying with you. He was holding you so tight, and it was so warm, and yet the shards of ice in your heart weren't melting. At first, you were angry - how could a human do something like this? Something so despicable, so vile? How could you not have realized you were in love with a monster? But then, his voice began to ring in your head. You're boring. He was going to leave you anyways. Perhaps it's you who's the problem. Perhaps you really are boring, and old-fashioned, and demanding, and idealistic, and untrusting, and immature, and too much to handle, and perhaps you should just give up because you're just un-
"Hyune, am I unlovable?" Your voice was barely there, but he heard you. He always heard you.
"Nonsense." He looked so hurt to hear you say that. "That's such nonsense." He repeated with a laugh, wiping his tears on his sleeve. "That's the most stupid thing you've ever said in your life. And you've said many stupid things, I would know." You slapped his arm in protest, but he was happy to see you chuckle.
"I mean, even if I'm not completely unlovable, Sharon is still prettier than me..." The flick of Hyunjin's fingers resonated on your forehead. You held your head in pain.
"What the hell, dude!"
"It's revenge! Every single time you say something like that, it hurts me. So I must hurt you back." You sighed. You knew he was joking, but at the same time, there was some truth behind it.
"I'm sorry, Hyune. I should have listened to you. You didn't like him since the very beginning, and you were the only one telling me my gut was right. It must have been so painful to just watch."
"It's painful to watch you now, as well." He confessed, and you felt a pang of guilt wash over you. But he pulled you back in his arms, to pet you hair lovingly. "That bastard, how dare he hurt my angel. I swear I'm gonna turn into Rapunzel's mom and lock you up in a tower so no one can ever hurt you again."
"Hmm, but doesn't pain help us grow or whatever?"
You were pretty sure Hyunjin just rolled his eyes all the way back to China.
"First of all, we all know pain just gives you more trauma. But I mean, your trauma collection is getting quite... exquisite nowadays." You smacked him again, playfully. But this time, you actually laughed. "No but seriously... there is a lesson in there somewhere. And not just to listen to me more often... to learn that you deserve more, angel." He was so close to you while he was speaking, his eyes aimed directly into yours. Your gaze wondered over him, over Hyunjin, your best friend. His chocolate eyes, sweeter than any cake you could ever eat, his vibrant lips, plumper than any wild cherry growing in the trees, his skin - like a canvas painted over the years with the brush of years and aging. His hair was long and dark, rebellious yet elegant, and the light was cascading in the room in lines, through the blinds that were semi-shut over the windows. Suddenly, there was a new sound in your mind. There was no more cricket, there was the sound of the ocean. Waves, crashing upon the shore. You were barely at the seams, the water was gently lapping at your feet; because you knew, you cannot underestimate the ocean. If you go any further, one wave is enough to push you off balance and take you into the water, like an irresistible magnet pulling you towards demise. One step, one wave, is enough. One more inch between your lips and his.
He pushed your shoulder lightly and you fell face first into the pillows.
"And if you say more mean things about yourself, I swear I'm throwing you in the pool." You reached out for the napkins on the nightstand. It was finally time to stop crying and... think about the future?
"The pool... tonight was supposed to be all romantic and perfect, with candles and the full moon on clear skies..."
"I like full moons and clear skies!" Hyunjin announced, and for some reason it made you burst into laugher. "What! It's true! The idiot would have probably not enjoyed it anyways. He has no eye for beauty. He thinks having one green wall in his grey apartment is enough for him to live 'in vibrant color'. Okay Picasso, but like why the fuck must that wall be in the kitchen?!" You look happy when you laugh. He loves seeing you happy. "You dodged a bullet, trust me. First it's the green kitchen wall, next he ignores the perfect date that his perfect girl set up for him-" His perfect girl. You heart was racing. "-and next he-"
"Tries to double tap her with the daughter of a vacation house owner. He couldn't even find the daughter of a rich CEO."
"- I was gonna say next he's the only single grandpa in a retirement home, because he's too sad of an excuse of a man, but that too." Hyunjin always did this for you, as well. He made sure to roast all of your exes until all you could think of them is burnt chicken. Until the memory of them becomes something funny, that could never hurt you again. "Plus, I'm not letting your efforts go to waste - I'm not letting you miss this chance. Let's watch the moon, together."
You nodded. What else could you do?
You decided it would be best to try to take a nap until night hit. So much crying has left you dizzy and with a headache crawling at fast speeds through your forehead and sinuses.
"Do you have any painkillers? Should I try to find a pharmacy around here?" Hyunjin offered, but you reassured him you have some in your suitcase. "Okay, wait here, I'll go get it for you- but uh, which one is yours?"
"The one that has color on it, duh." He disappeared with a giggle, around the corner.
"I will never underestimate you ever again, ma'am." He joked, placing your colorful suitcase next to the bed. He made sure none of your items were left over in the room you used to shared with David, and insisted you stay put while he brings you a glass of water.
Pills in your system, blinds closed, blanket over your shoulders, Hyunjin curled on the other side of the bed, as small as he could make himself be, so that he doesn't make you feel suffocated. But he was holding two of your fingers in his hand, from across the bed. The skin of two fingers was enough pathway for you to feel a million bodies worth of love, though.
When you woke up, he wasn't there. Nor David who was haunting you in your dreams, nor Hyunjin who was whispering poems to you to chase the nightmares away. You thought you'd be alright after crying it out, but it wasn't that easy. You woke up feeling miserable, with a heavy weight on your chest, and yet feeling so empty and hollow.
You checked your phone, and he hasn't called. You didn't know if you should feel sad or relieved about it. At least he won't chase after you again, right? It won't be another hurtful on and off. It's over. He doesn't love you anymore.
"Oh hey, you're awake- Nah ah, no more crying! You've had your fill of tears, now it's time for a fill of pizza! Get your ass to the living room, missy!" You didn't have the time to cry when Hyunjin was chasing you out of the room with a pillow.
It was a little bit awkward at first, because Jihyo and Luna didn't know if they should bring it up or just try to distract you. Eventually you bit the bullet and began to tell them about your relationship yourself. All the behavior changes, the suspicions, the hurtful words (that you now realize were manipulation) and all the lies.
"Not even his guy friends knew." Jihyo told you. She apparently told the whole group chat she was in with David's friends about what he has been doing. "He didn't just lose his girlfriend, I think he lost most of his friends by doing this."
"Thank you, Ji. For having my back." Perhaps your relationships were monster trucks, but your friends were really golden. They really looked after you.
"So!" Hyunjin announced. "Change of plans. She's having a romantic moonlit date with me, instead. So the pool is still off limits." After Luna threw what looked like a piece of olive at Hyunjin's shirt, and he screamed in your ear, eventually the sisters said they were planning on working on their DnD character sheets anyway. They were your favorite nerds.
According to your phone, the moon would begin to rise at around nine in the evening. It was just enough time for the food in your bellies to settle, while you caught up with the new videos of your favorite comedy channel. Laughter filled the room, and Jihyo and Luna made sure to cuddle the heck out of you, to distract you from that emptiness that was threatening to form into a pit in your stomach.
"So, what scented candles do you have? Something sexy and seductive?" Hyunjin asked you, wriggling his eyebrows. It made the other girls giggle.
"Apple." You answered, and the whole room deadpanned.
"In what world is apple sexy?!"
"It's his favorite!" You tried to defend yourself, but Hyunjin just scoffed.
"Jesus fucking Christ, you really needed a new boyfriend." This roast didn't make you grin. It didn't make you laugh. Instead, you looked down at the floor, a sigh shaking your body. As the seconds passed, you began to feel more and more stupid for ending up in this situation. For being so dumb as to let yourself be led on by some pretty words, and pretty eyes, that you could ever be truly loved- "Sorry." Hyunjin apologized in a panic. It just slipped, he had so much resentment bottled up for that man. "It's a good thing I brought some of mine with me. They're not exactly sexy, but they should be more fitting."
"Oh, what scent is it?"
"Ocean." Ocean, the waves that are lapping at your feet. They're calling you over.
Hyunjin was calling you over, to see if you like the smell of the candles. You had gone through too many emotions today: the anger, the sadness, the insecurities, and now this anxiety. Or was it thrill? If you put your ear on Hyunjin's chest, would you be able to hear the waves?
"I'm going to go set these up." He announced, and you nodded.
"I'll get changed." With a skip to his step, Hyunjin walked out and closed the door to give you privacy. You're not even in the water yet, and you already feel like you're drowning.
You fished out your swim suit from your luggage and laid it out on the bed before you. You actually bought this - spent so much money on it - got it in his favorite color - for a man who was cheating on you. You were really regretting not having brought an alternative with you. You couldn't just walk out in underwear and a shirt, right? Better not. You grit your teeth and put it on, but made a mental note to 'accidentally' start a dumpster fire, and 'accidentally' drop the swim suit in it after tonight.
When you were done changing, you found Hyunjin out by the pool. Somehow, he managed to turn it on by himself since you could already see steam coming off of it. He arranged two candles around one corner of the pool (since he only had two) and was probably waiting for you to arrive.
"Oh, angel. That color does not suit you." Hyunjin had always been quite picky when it came to fashion. He had his 'disgusted fashion designer' face on.
"I know, it's-"
"Let me guess, his favorite color? I've seem vomit more vibrant than that." You snorted at the comment. The color was, in fact, quite horrible. "If I wouldn't know how much money you probably spent on that, I'd tell you to set it on fire." You laughed. Great minds think alike.
"I was thinking the same thing." After exchanging grins, Hyunjin seemed to fall into thought. He had that look in his eyes that told you there was a complicated process going on in his mind.
"I'll buy you a new one." Surprised, you cocked an eyebrow at him as you approached the side of the pool he was at. You scooted next to the scented candle he lit, and sat down on the edge. "Careful you don't burn you butt." He joked, and you rolled your eyes at him. The candle wasn't even close to touching you. The water was very warm and calming, you noticed, when you dipped your feet in. It made you want to move even closer to the edge so that your tired ankles would be soothed.
"You don't need to buy me a new one. What would I use it for? I don't think I'll be at any pool again any time soon." A rosy petal tickled your toes and you realized the bouquet had somehow ended up in the water. There were petals and tiny white flowers scattered all around the corner of the pool. It would have been a beautiful sight, if it wasn't so tragic.
"Well, maybe I have been secretly planning a weekend trip to Jeju island for you and I." That surely caught you off guard. You barely had any money left after this vacation, you wouldn't be able to afford a trip to Jeju. He wasn't planning on paying for it all by himself, right?
"I mean, that sounds lovely, Hyune." You replied, even if you had some financial disagreements to talk about later. "But it's september! I don't think I'll be walking around in a swimsuit at the beach in this weather. It's getting chilly." The air was quite cold, you've noticed it ever since the morning. The sun didn't have the same strength as a few days ago - but thankfully the heat coming off of the pool was making it bearable to be out just in a swim suit.
"First of all, summer is a feeling, not a season. And second, I'll just get you one for next summer." Next summer - you almost forgot. To Hyunjin, highschool with you was barely yesterday, and next summer should be in two days. A year was nothing to him when he promised you forever.
"Okay." You replied quietly, swooshing the water around with your feet. You were scared to look him in the eyes, because suddenly you felt so vulnerable. You could trust his idea of forever, right?
"Okay!" He replied with a much brighter note. "With that settled, I'll go get changed for our pool adventure." He walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts, and the subtle smell of the ocean. It was still calling you, but now you could hear it clearer. You could smell it clearer. One more step, one more inch of your skin under the water, and perhaps you could feel it clearer, too.
The wait would have been agonizing if you hadn't made a friend in the moon as soon as you found it in the sky. She - the moon has always been a she to you - was looking absolutely astonishing . For a second, a very silly second, you thought the moon had done a better job at dressing up for a romantic date than you did. You searched around for the evening star as well, the brightest, most beautiful star in the sky. You hoped if the moon was going on a date tonight, it would be with the evening star. For he was a strong man to always keep his light so bright, to always manage to guide the sailors lost in the night-
Hyunjin came back with a few tiny packages in his hand. He was shirtless; and from waist down he wore swim trunks, an ombre from blue, to light blue, to white. With the way the sky was reflected in the pool, you would think he was trying to blend in with the water.
"Choco?" He nudged you, offering you a golden foil. You took one from him happily, and watched him as he took off an elastic band from his wrist to put his hair up in a messy ponytail. The chocolate he offered you was very delicious, and you guessed also probably very fancy. Hyunjin never held back when it came to pleasing the senses. But you wondered, how come he's offering you something sweet? Wasn't the ocean supposed to be salty?
He also ate a chocolate quietly next to you. The silence was getting heavy, which was very odd. Silence was always comforting next to him, but now, the less he spoke the more you felt confused and lost at sea.
"The bouquet ended up in the water." You told him, trying to make any sort of small talk. He hummed, put away the foil of the sweet treat he consumed, and eased himself fully into the pool. As soon as he was in, he let out a soulful sigh. He adored warm water, and you could tell from his body language, from the way his shoulders slumped and his neck craned to stare at the night sky, jaw wide open in admiration - that Hyunjin was in a happy place. Was it just you who was nervous, then?
To your surprise, Hyunjin pushed through the water all the way to the corner where the bouquet was floating about. He picked it up, and began to crush the flowers in his hand so that the petals would fall. He left the stems empty, and then threw them out of the pool. With powerful motions, he made the water roll in waves, so that the petals would scatter throughout the entire pool.
"Now it's just part of the decorum." He said with a giggle. He approached you, and his hand was warm and welcoming when it gently touched your knee. "Forget who they're from." As he beckoned you to join him in the water, you wanted to let those words hypnotize you. Allow the pain to fade to the background.
You join him in the water, and it embraces you like you were meant to be held in someone's arms your entire life. Even though you are surrounded by those petals - those empty promises, those broken parts of your heart - something inside of you is healing. You are no longer putting meaning or significance onto them. They no longer hold you captive. For that tiny moment, everything is as it should be: there is no other place you should have been. No other person you should have been. And no other person - besides your best friend with a dizzying smile - should have accompanied you that night. It was the universe's plan, and no one could be blamed for that.
The universe is vast. As you look up, through the thousands of celestial bodies before you, you can't pin point any to curse in grief and woe. Furthermore, you can't even name this strange feeling of acceptance. It had just appeared in your heart. 
"The sky is so beautiful." You mumble, and Hyunjin almost surprises you when he hums. He looks just as awestruck as you do, and you know for a fact he was the one meant to join you. You watch the rise and fall of his chest, the deep breaths he takes as he says absolutely nothing. He is in a trance, and you are entranced by him.
"The moon and stars are shining for you, my love" You hear him say, but it was quiet, like he wasn't sure of his own words.
"For all that is up there, up above,
In the gentle skies of angels and sinners:
The moon rays and the cheeky glimmers," He takes a pause, as if to rest for a heartbeat and let himself smile.
"They're all but lights to make your eyes shine -
And help you see yourself in mine."
"That's beautiful, Hyune." You complimented. You wondered just how many poems he had stored in his mind and heart. Would you need a library pass to find out? "Who's it from?"
"Oh, he's not a published author." He replied cheekily. "Although he wishes he could be." From the shy yet smug look on his face, it was easy to piece it together.
"Did you write it?"
"Mhm."
"Like, on the spot? Just now?"
"Mhm."
You're absolutely insane!" You tell him with a gentle slap to the arm. He giggles and your heart melts. "I swear there's no human being more talented than you." He looks down at the water and something peculiar sparkles in his eyes. Something naughty, like a child being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and yet he's unaware, he's proud of the mistake he's done.
"Well, it wouldn't be possible without you." You stare at him in confusion. Is he trying to thank you for supporting him and his passion for poetry? For the validation and reassurance you offer him when he works? It goes without question that you would be supporting your best friend- "Do you want me to recite the poem to you again?" You're confused and caught off guard. Frankly you have no idea what is going on, so you just shrug your shoulders awkwardly.
"Sure, I guess."
While Hyunjin has been standing to your side this entire time, leaning back on the edge of the pool, the scented candle between you two, now he moved to stand before you. He was blocking the moon, invading your senses, a dim light hugging his silhouette.
"The moon and stars are shining for you, my love" He's looking in your eyes, and his hands move to grip the edge of the pool on either side of you head. Your lungs are burning.
"For all that is up there, up above" He looks towards the sky for a split second, and then he looks back at you, his eyes clouding with mist.
"In the gentle skies of angels and sinners:" He searches for you hand in the water, and with the most gentle pull, he brings it to his lips to kiss your fingers. A rose petal slips off of you arm and back into the water.
"The moon rays and the cheeky glimmers," He's smiling. He's in his happy place, and yet, you don't know how to accept that the weight of the ocean isn't trying to harm you.
"They're all but lights to make your eyes shine -"  Was he seeing the moon in your eyes?
"And help you see yourself in mine." You were in his eyes. You were. It just took you so many years to see it.
"The moon and stars are shining for me?" You ask; you had to make sure. Your hands were shaking, and a chill ran down your spine.
"My love." He completed the lyric, and you were trying so so hard, to find oxygen in your lungs.
This was exactly were you were afraid of - that one step closer, the ocean waves would take you away, and you'd fall into the dark depths - and ultimately drown. "I'm in love with you." You hear him say. "I know you've been through so many emotions already, and this is just not the right time, because I don't wanna seem like I'm taking advantage of the situation and trying to be some sort of savior to you, but I really am in love with you and I can't stand watching you suffer-"
One of your favorite quotes you've ever read, by a person named Irtiqa Nabi, was 'The sea speaks more honestly to those willing to drown'.
You just had to be willing.
You just had to understand.
You don't need the oxygen.
You take one more, final breath and reach out to kiss Hyunjin before he rambled away all night. His hands fly to embrace you, to cradle your face, to shield you with his body. 
It was the most terrifying leap of faith you've ever made, but you finally realized the ocean wasn't evil. It wasn't trying to take your life away or rob you of your heart. No, the ocean was this being full of life, full of warmth; he wanted you to dive beyond the surface. He wanted you to uncover his mysteries. And he loved you so much. 
"Wait." Hyunjin pulls away, dazed and with unfocused eyes. He bites his lip. "Are you sure about this? Once you allow me to love you, I won't stop. I don't let go." You look up at him and smile. No matter how many times you tell him, it'll never be enough: he's so beautiful. But tonight, something is different. He's exactly how the universe wanted him to be. Exactly where the universe wanted him to be. So naturally, only poetry could describe the beauty of a man who had found his destiny.
"Make me you last love, Hyunjin." You plead, and his eyes fill with both admiration and tears.
"Oh, I will." He cradles you so gently, and yet so tightly. His long fingers are enveloping your face, his body is swallowing yours like the tide, and he kisses you, again and again. And with each one, you gain life, you gather courage, a new constellation is born inside of you. Astrologers could only dream of uncovering all those new-born stars.
He drags you into the middle of the pool, and guides your legs around his waist. He holds you with ease, and from this angle, when you look down at him all you see is joy. But he hides in your neck, and finds another happy place in there.
You rest your head on his shoulder and look up the sky. The moon rose to a higher position, and she looks so calm, so all-knowing as she beams on you. She knew what was going to happen already, and now she was grinning at you slyly.
"Can you see the moon from there?" Hyunjin asks you, and you hum.
"Mhm. But you can't, can you?" It's not like he's trying, his eyes are closed as he cradles you.
"No, just tell her I said hi." You laugh. You wonder just for how long, has the moon known Hyunjin's secret? "I've got my own night sky right here." He says, as he hugs you even tighter, squeezing you to his chest like you're his childhood teddy bear.
"Cheesy." You mutter, but you place a kiss just underneath his ear. That ear begins to burn, and then his whole face is red (that's why he's hiding it away) and Hyunjin thinks he'll never grow used to it. In fact, he promises himself he won't. He promises to always allow himself to be surprised by just how much you mean to him. Over and over again.
Minutes turn to hours, just like days always turned to years around Hyunjin. Eventually you climb out of the pool to not turn into raisins - but you still continue to be tangled with each other, making up for all the kisses you've missed for all those years you've kept each other at arm's length. It feels like a pipe dream to call him yours, to kiss his lips that felt like clouds, look into his eyes that filled with lightning, listen to the words filled with thunder. And yet, his heartbeat still spoke to you in calm waves-
You and Hyunjin jump from your seats at the sound of something loudly popping. You frantically look around for the sound, and you see Jihyo and Luna, holding a confetti tube towards you. The sparkly paper falls to the floor, while some are carried by the wind towards you.
"Congratulations!" The two cheer, and you can't help but snort. Where did they even get confetti from?
"Now that the cat's outta the bag, the asshole is out of the picture and you're finally dating the right guy-" Luna almost sounds like she's rapping while she rambles, and everyone carries amusement on their faces. "And this guy can stop whining in my ear about how much he wants you-" You turn towards Hyunjin in shock, and he tries to make himself small and hide. He fails. "We can finally have some nice, family fun!"
"I thought we agreed you'd let us have the pool tonight!" Hyunjin argues, but Luna tuts in response.
"So I can just watch you two make out from afar? Nah, I wanna see it in person." With the look of an almost psycho, Luna grabs your leg and pulls you into the pool with her. She splashes you wildly in the face, and soon Jihyo and Hyunjin join you in a water fight even a toddler would easily win.
After a while a whole lot of fun, you approach Jihyo for a light conversation while the other two are struggling to inflate a beach ball.
"Have you known for a long time?"
"About Hyunjin's feelings? No, it was Luna who knew. I didn't know until tonight, honestly."
Hyunjin has been confiding in Luna, it seems. She was the only one who knew his secret - or well, maybe she wasn't. You look up at the moon, and then back at Luna, and something seems to make you laugh.
It is very late into the night, and yet you are all still awake. It came to the point where you had to leave the water, but Luna stops in the middle of the hallway and blocks the path.
"Hey, didn't that girl teach you stuff about cleaning the pool and all?"
You didn't even remember her name by this point.
"Yeah, why?"
"So what cleaning supplies should one use, let's say, if the pool becomes dirty with... An entire luggage worth of clothes and stuff?"
"What?" Hyunjin asks, breaking into a wild laugh, but he feels as if he already knows what Luna is about to say.
"Let's throw David's stuff into the pool." You display a look of horror, but when you look at Hyunjin, you see him comically dash into the house.
You're too dazed to even register when the suitcase showed up in front of your face. All three of your peers attacked the zippers like wild hyenas, and soon your ex's clothes are sent flying into the pool.
"Even his underwear is ugly." Hyunjin says, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it as far as he could into the pool. "I'm gonna need hand sanitizer after this."
You start to enjoy it after a while. Sure, you still tell them to not throw anything electric or expensive in there, like his earphones or watch, but you are the one to chuck his toothbrush in the pool and watch it sink to the bottom.
"Revenge is best served wet, baby." Luna pretends to dust off her hands and leaves the scene of the crime with a deadly hair flip.
Giggling like a bunch of school girls, you part ways to go quickly shower the chlorine away from your bodies. Then you reunite, clad in your comfiest pj's, and cuddle to Hyunjin's chest to listen to the sound of the ocean waves.
"Angel?" He calls out to you, and you look at him with hazy eyes. "Would it be weird or overwhelming if I told you I love you?"
"No." You shake your head and giggle. It's not that it was new information to you, but it did hold a new meaning now. A meaning - you found - you were always craving to reciprocate. Why have you been searching for Hyunjin in all of those people, when he was right there with you, petting your hair and making you feel alive?
"And would it be weird or overwhelming if I said that to you every night?"
"No, I would like that actually." You reach up to kiss him. He welcomes it and chases after your lips, and it's such a new high, that you wish it to turn into a habit.
"Okay." He whispers. "I love you."
"I love you." You reply. You don't say 'me too', you don't say 'i love you too'. Because this is not an action that he does and you copy. No, you love him all on your own. It's so crazy, that you love him independently, and he loves you independently, and yet when you're put together, you form the same constellation.
It's a good thing Hyunjin locked the door, because somewhere around five in the morning you got woken up by loud banging on your door, your handle being shaken erratically and an array of swear words. Hyunjin woke up as well, and you both tried to stifle your giggles, because that night you heard swearwords and insults you didn't even know existed.
By afternoon, when you got out of your room, he was completely gone. Turns out he collected his clothes from the pool and left with them soaking in a garbage bag. Luna had snuck out in the morning to record a video of David, trying and failing repeatedly to fish out his clothes with the stick end of a broom. You laughed so hard it brought you to tears, and when you went outside to check, you saw the only thing left, was a chlorine infused toothbrush sitting sad and depressed at the bottom of the pool.
You blocked him and threw away the memory of him into the sea. You knew the sea would be mean to him, drown him out and silence him. Because the universe wanted someone else to love you.
The moon, the stars, and all the eight seas;
They whispered to you that you had found your destiny.
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i-am-a-l0st-gh0st · 12 days
Note
School au! It's valentine's day, and the reader has prepared a letter with a plushie that was a limited edition plush merchandise from lyneys favorite content creator magician. They wanted to cowardly confess through a letter, as they were worried of that destroying their best-friend relationship, even writing at the end of the letter "if this makes you uncomfortable or you'd wish to never speak of it again please just ignore this letter.".
Yet... When the time to give it came, they saw lyney had received quite a few gifts, but what broke the reader was when someone tried to suddenly kiss lyney. They got angry, furious even, the frustration taking each thought from their mind. They left the classroom and went outside, not wanting to look at this any further. Even if the girl was just being pushy - the sight itself hurt em. They decided it was a stupid idea to confess at all - knowing how many people liked lyney... He most likely wasn't going to pick the reader - at least that's what they thought. They sat outside near the school court, forgetting in their frustration that the place they were sitting it was see-able from their classroom. They crumbled the letter and sat there, head hanging low, as they skipped the class.
I should be over all the butterflies- Lyney x Gn!reader
Im still into you t/w- kissing summary- as shown above
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The sun shone brightly as you walked to school, bag in hand filled with things for Lyney. It was Valentine's Day, the day you were going to confess to your best friend. You may not have looked nervous but you felt it, your stomach was filled with butterflies and your palms were getting clammy. Maybe this is a bad idea?
As you stepped onto the school grounds you could see many people confessing their love, some being requited while others not. You hadn’t seen Lyney yet but hopefully, he didn’t have a crowd of people like others did.
Lyney was quite a popular boy, you were merely a shadow. Or that's what people called you. You followed him around like a lost puppy, wondering when he would get bored. He never did. Well, at least he said he never did. You started to worry about what would happen if this went wrong… Would he ever see you the same way? Or would he just see you as rubbish?
Inside the classroom, people were gathered around one spot. And you knew that spot as Lyney’s. Many girls, boys and other people were surrounding him trying to get his attention by giving him the most extravagant gifts. There were chocolates, and love poems and cards. All crappy valentines Day stuff. You were the only one who knew him well enough.
You didn’t bother trying to push into the crowd, you would only get tread on. You stood from afar watching him try and turn down the people politely. He was never one to make people upset or angry. Once he’d accidentally made you cry because he scared you by jumping out of a corner. The amount of times he apologised, and he still apologises today.
A girl in the sea of people leaned closer towards Lyney begging to be kissed. When he didn’t respond she kissed him herself. You didn’t stick around long after that, the tears in your eyes blocked your vision anyway. God, you knew it was stupid… Lyney would definelty pick one of the many people laid out for him. It hurt to think about. you’d loved him for so long. You scrunched up the note on the gift and threw it on the ground.
Not even 5 minutes later someone grabbed that bit of paper off the ground.
“Mon amour, what are you doing out here?” You knew that voice anywhere. “And what is this bit of paper with my name on it?”
Before you would react he opened the letter reading your love confession. You could see a tinge of red forming on his cheeks.
“You love me?” His face was almost bright red now
“I thought it was kinda obvious?”
“You kept it well hidden y/n.”
You felt him get closer, the heat of his body warming you. His hand softly grazed you cheek sending a slight shiver through your body. “May I kiss you?”
The butterflies were back and were not staying still anytime soon. Your words couldn’t quite form properly all you could do was nod. His lips softly pressed against yours, while he placed his hand on your right cheek pulling you in closer not letting you go. Lyney’s hands were soft making you feel more at comfort. The way he kissed was nothing like you saw in romance movies. He was so gentle with you, you didn’t mind that at all.
His hands moved to your waist pulling you in. The kiss felt like an eternity but was over just like that.
“Woah…” You couldn’t form the right words to tell him you loved it.
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Climb inside of me.
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Nell Jackson x reader
Summary: Nell left you, will you give her a chance to make explain herself.
Notes: it only took me an hour, it's based off of a poem.
Inspired by the song Again - Noah Cyrus and XXXTENTACION
It hurt in a way you’d never felt before when she left, like grieving a missing limb. And then she’d died that pain was multiplied to the point of suffocation.
Then one night at the Talbot you saw her swan in the same way she left and your head started to spin.
She was back. And real, not something you’d made up to ease the grief.
You jump up and head for the front door heart pounding in your ears. Disappearing without so much as a back glance.
It killed her. So she’d asked Roxy to talk to you being too much of a coward to do it herself.
Roxy raced down the next day practically begging you to go see her. No doubt Nell had asked her to but you’d refused to let yourself even be entertained by the idea.
“she wants to see you ya know”  your head was already shaking side to side before she’d finished.
“She made her choice, she can just deal with it Roxy.” You had a very that was that tone as you fixed your hair, hands smoothing over your dress.
So Roxy didn’t waste her breath asking twice.
Fingers twist the material at your side, something you only did when nervous.
She’d frozen a second, hesitated like she wanted to say more but didn’t.
Knowing you were putting on a front deep down you wanted to see her, she relayed the message anyway.
The deflated look in Nell’s eyes when you refused to see her, broke her heart.
Muttering a sorry as she patted Nell in passing.
Nell couldn’t sleep that night. No matter how much she tossed and turned, fingers twisting in the sheets the gnawing, absence never settled.
Your face wouldn’t leave her mind.
You were best friends why couldn’t you forgive her?
Or at least you used to be before she ruined everything. There was no expectation of easiness but time had made her forgetful of your stubborn nature.
She’d get you back even if it killed her.
 You’d grown up together, she wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let you go twice.
You the educated daughter of a wealthy doctor and Nell the uneducated daughter of a tavern owner.
She had no idea what you even saw in her sometimes but my god did she want to be seen by you.
You’d even slept in the same bed growing up, all snuggled up close under fading candle light fingers tight around your waist and Nell tried to pretend that it didn’t mean anything.
The delicate way you brushed your fingers over her features, faces just inches apart leaning close as you whispered to avoid waking anyone.
You consumed her. Lit the spark in her chest, she burned for you.  
That burn bled into your everyday lives, she could barely contain herself when the local men tried their luck. It was met with a polite decline from yourself or Nell threatening to beat the infatuation out of any boy who mustered up the courage to try.
Nell sometimes caught herself wishing she was a boy it would make everything so easy.
She’d make a good husband. Nobody would ever hurt you, make you cry or take advantage of your kindness again.
She’d always known she wasn’t like most girls and you only made it more obvious.
The thoughts started to scare her becoming more intense as you aged. So she’d done the only thing she could and married Jackson leaving as soon as possible. He was a good man, had understood her situation. Understood he was her way out.
Understood she would never be a normal wife.
You’d been heartbroken, friends your whole lives and not even a goodbye.
One day she was there and the next gone like a ghost.
Nell Jackson had broken your heart.
Eyes darting back and forth between your notes ignoring the burn in your eyes,
Thumbs rub them blurry but Nell’s face doesn’t leave your mind.
Your stomach twists with excitement as you finish writing a possible cure for a disease you’d been working on.
She seemed to be a lot of places you were lately.
You grown suspicious, suspecting Roxy of foul play sometimes but lacked the proper evidence to accuse.
You always found an excuse to leave. She didn’t need us, didn’t need you.
You’d avoided Nell for weeks, Roxy thought it was silly you opting to drink at home throwing yourself into your work.
Couldn’t you see that they needed you? Nell needed you?
You’d see the girls in passing but not as before, it was hard and you missed them but you all needed the space you’d convince yourself to ease the guilt.
You leaned back in your office chair stretching tired limbs throwing the book to the growing pile as you enjoy the silence.
It would be dark in a few hours so you wanted to enjoy the last few hours of sunlight in peace.
You’d earned a rest. Earned a break from your inner torment even if just for a moment.
Being the towns doctors daughter, people came to you all hours for help.
 You didn’t mind of course.
You were a sweetheart and the town loved you for it, beautiful, clever and exceptionally wealthy you had it all.
Well except a husband. But who wanted one of those?
Men were loud, rough and selfish. None of which appealed to you, women were soft, warm and smelled good.
Life would be so much easier if you could marry each other.
You often caught yourself wondering what it would be like curling up next to someone soft and warm..
A shake of your head puts a stop to that train of thought.
Those thoughts were for later, when it was dark and you could pretend your hand  was possessed, working of it’s own volition under your night gown. The thoughts that clouded your mind were put there by the devil himself to torment you.
You caved every time.
Especially these last few weeks you’d find Nell’s face creeping in more.
Which only made it harder to look at her.
You’d had proposals from all sorts of men looking to marry into your family, the ones looking for love. The ones who wanted money, the ones who wanted to use your brilliance for their own selfish reasons.
You turned them all down.
 One of the few lucky enough to have parents that didn’t care much about marriage marrying for love themselves.
The knock on your door startles, bringing you back to reality. You aren’t expecting anybody but then again you suppose you never were.
You look though the peephole, squinting till Nell’s features came into focus.
You swing the door open with more force than needed, Nell blinks in surprise.
“what do you want?” you know you sound rude, you try not to care.
 Hurt flashes over her features but it’s so fleeting you could have imagined it.
“well a hello wouldn’t go a miss”  irritation brews in your chest but it’s overshadowed with the ache of missing her.
You wanted to cry, bury your head in her neck and never let go.
“if I wanted to say hello I’d have called.” You quip cheeks hot.
You turn before she can see heading back the way you came with Nell at your heels.
You think you hear her close the door behind you.
You hope she has, it was hardly the safest village.
It doesn’t take long before your back in your office sitting back at your work station.
“figured I’d save you the trouble”  she stops awkwardly in the middle of the room taking it all in.
The overwhelming rows of books, ingredients. Scribbled notes scattering the table, Nell doesn’t think she’s ever seen so many books in her life.
“that why you’re here, to say hello?” your words come out thin and pinched, you find yourself silently cringing at your own voice.
If Nell notices she doesn’t say anything.
“Yeah well, I missed ya”  her fingers tap against a jar as she stares at the contents.
Your eyes watch Nell’s frame, she moves slow eyes scanning the various bottles and jars filled with all sorts.
“your the one who left” you huff.
“didn’t feel I ‘ad a choice” she’s looking at you now eyes gazing into your own.
“a goodbye would have been nice” you mutter.
“m sorry”
 Nell continues to study your shelves and the silence stretches on.
Too long.
“don’t touch that” your across the room in seconds hand gripping her wrist tightly, alarm in your tone.
Nell jars slightly, looking at your grip on her wrist.
“It’s a paralytic.” You offer, her blank stare let’s you know she doesn’t understand so you carry on.
“you’ll be unable to move, paralysing your body and lungs eventually until you suffocate and die.”
“Cheery” Nell lowers her eyes and you realise with great embarrassment you still haven’t let go of her wrist.
Dropping her wrist you put away the deadly concoctions in sight as a precaution.
“Sorry, I just didn’t want you to die.” You offer lamely.
Nell’s heart sores at your words, you still cared. “I wouldn’t worry about that, I’m magic.” her joke confuses you tone awkward.
Nell knows she sounds lame but she doesn’t know what else to offer.
You meet her gaze properly, her eyes are so pretty.
“did I do something wrong?” Nell’s mind goes blank, how could you ever do anything wrong?
“Course not, why would you think that?” you grip your skirt fingers tightening and untightening. Twisting and pulling until you can’t anymore.
Nell’s grip tightens around your hand gently pulling the offending hand from your already creased skirt.
“because you never said goodbye.” and it sounds like the most childish thing in the world to be upset about.
But you are.
She pulls you in, slowly guiding you until your eye level with her chin.
You daren’t let your eyes stray further. Her hand moves to hold your own squeezing gently.
 “I didn’t want to hurt ya, I had to leave. Had to leave before I did something stupid,” and of course it makes no sense.
“Stupid? I don’t understand” you pull gently, Nell doesn’t let go.
Pushing your wrists down until she’s forced to let go you take a step back.
“Stop talking in riddles and just be honest with me.”
Her brain freezes and she finds her mouth opening and closing without a sound coming out.
And so she does the only thing that she can, she kisses you.
Her lips are soft, warm. Unskilled they work against yours urgently.
Heat shoots down your spine coiling tight in your lower belly as she pushes you gently into the bookshelf behind.
You think you hear something fall but you don’t care. She’s so soft, eager and my god does she smell good.
Gasping for air you reluctantly pull back, releasing a shaky breath foreheads pressed together.  
You think you hear here apologising but it doesn’t register.
How on earth could she be sorry for that?
“I shouldn’t have done that” it’s not an apology but close enough.
“why not?” Nell doesn’t have an answer, you didn’t seem upset which was a win. 
She steps back and you panic.
Nell doesn’t miss it, moving closer to soothe you. “hey I ain’t goin nowhere” relaxing, you nod and step closer.
“it’s going to be dark soon, you should stay.”
Nodding wordlessly, Nell finds herself hypnotised as you lead her upstairs.
Finding herself in your bedroom watching you undress for bed, Nell can’t help but feel like the luckiest person in the world perching on the end of your bed.
You blush turning to find her gaze already on you.
“you sleeping like that?” you gesture towards her outfit. Trousers, boots, hat and a gentleman’s coat.
Pulling off her boots and coat, she hangs her hat over your bedpost, you blow out the candle.
Pushing herself up the bed as you crawled to meet her.
Snuggling up you press your head against her chest as you both get comfortable.
Whatever happened, you had each other. You were home.
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poppurini · 9 months
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FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES :with lilia ヾ( ˃o˂ )◞
note. doing all five for this man bc i’m greedy
wc. 1566﹐gn!reader mostly but fem!reader in one small part of a section ig? in giving gifts!
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giving gifts — for some people, receiving / giving a heartfelt gift is what makes them feel most loved.
this one’s a given! he loves travelling, so he’ll definitely bring you lots and lots of souvenirs. i feel like lilia’s definitely the kind to give you rings / bracelets / necklaces stored with the sand from the beach you two went to or something similar teehee. the kind to randomly gift you something even when there’s no special occasion. “this reminds me of you” kind of bf <3 definitely remembers the things you like / your preferences to make you even happier!
i also think lilia would gift you handmade crafts! the moment he finds out there are such creative ways to express one’s love to another? oh boy, he’s purchasing all the colour papers, glue sticks, popsicle sticks, whatever! yknow those diy cube thingies that could be opened and pictures are stuck to each and every side? yeah those. he’ll definitely make it colourful and sparkly! maybe even a little messy / some errors here and there but it’s just so lilia to do that, one look at it and people can guess who it’s from. it’s definitely much more endearing than picture-perfect ones.
flowers flowers flowers! he never forgets them. you might even need to remind him that you’ve ran out of vases! i’ve said this so many times in my lilia posts but i will die on this hill he gives you flowers native to briar valley, his homeland. not to mention the scented letters written in perfect cursive? the poems? just him spilling out all his love for you on ink? search for the meaning of those flowers and you’ll run into his arms crying and peppering his face with kisses, swear.
also loves matching with you! matching keychains, bracelets, necklaces, anklets, phone cases, rings (wink), pretty much everything. will buy “she’s my queen” “he’s my king” neon coloured couple t-shirts, ironically or not it’s up to your sanity. he’ll also give you rocks he finds cool looking he’s so stupid (i want to exchange vows with him)
acts of service — for these people, actions speak louder than words. these are nice things you do for your partner that make them feel loved and appreciated.
he likes doing things for you. trouble with homework? let him help! going somewhere? let him fly you! oh, your laundry’s piling up…let him play his favourite horror movie on the tv first! wanna take a drink but too lazy to get up from the bed? fine, fine, but you gotta give him a kiss as a reward later, kay? even though he could just use magic to float it towards you, he just wants an excuse to steal kisses.
definitely offers to cook but who would want that. so he’ll try his best to assist you in the kitchen upon your orders! no five tablespoons of salt or frog slime in the soup? tsk. he does dishes most of the time since he’s not allowed to cook in your kitchen anymore :(
this sounds so unserious but it gets me on my knees. he orders food / inquires concerns—“they asked for no pickles” that kind—for you if you’re too scared or shy to do it. no i will not elaborate further. also very casually swipes a few tissues, grabs your jaw gently and wipes the crumbs at the corner of your mouth while continue to hum to your words. if you complain about how you were planning on doing it yourself later he just chuckles and gives your cheek a teasing pat. oh, just let him take care of you, would you? he doesn’t mind, you just keep taking about your day and tell him about the kitten you saw. taking care of others is one of his best feats!
quality time — this is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. they feel loved if you are present and focused on them when you are together.
he will always, and i mean always, make time for you. he’s already old and gets a wild card to do whatever he wants in his life so ofc he’d want to spend it all on you! especially if he had no choice but to put you second hundreds of years ago back when he had royal duties (if you guys are already together then) he’ll definitely make it up to you now.
i feel like lilia is HEAVY on quality time due to his race as a fae and former general status, he knows far too well how fleeting time can be and how much you could lose from it, so he really appreciates time with you no matter how it’s spent. even lazing on the couch and having simple cuddles would be enough to make his old heart melt! him lying stomach down in between your legs and resting his cheek on your stomach; just wrapping his arms around your figure and snuggling in, he’ll groan like he’s getting a professional full body massage when you play with his hair / massage his scalp.
but of course he still wishes to travel around the globe with you, his darling love. just think of the amount of things you two are going to experience! witnessing new cultures and sights, the inevitable small arguments during vacations, sliding the curtains open fully at the break of dawn to let the sun shine on your sleepy figure and hearing your groggy groans, catching the pillow you throw at him, they’ve got lilia’s heart thumping loudly in its cage.
psst, as a bonus, tell him you want attention while he’s gaming and he’ll immediately log out for you <3 eh, he can tackle this raid later. sorry user gloomurai!
words of affirmation — this language uses words to affirm other people. it’s about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation.
SCREAMS TILL MY VOCAL CHORDS BREAK he has no qualms repeating his affection and admiration for you, especially if you’re someone who constantly craves it; he’ll gladly remind you every minute of the day. lilia would cradle you in his arms, humming a calm tune while caressing your skin and pressing chaste kisses to your forehead / hair every now and then.
pats your head reassuringly and lets you bury yourself into his shoulder / chest if you’re feeling particularly clingy that day; telling you how pretty you are, how cute you are, how your silly little jokes and laughs got him feeling like a schoolboy in love—“you know, like those, what do you call it? shoujo mangas?”—and how you got this legendary former war general completely wrapped around your finger.
i think there’s something so beautiful about one accepting your flaws and aiding you to solve the problem if it’s possible instead of just brushing you off by singing false praises…and that’s what my interpretation of lilia is. what’s that? you feel bad for being a “burden” and not good enough for him? nonsense. he loves you with his entire heart and soul, that also includes loving your flaws and helping you through it.
now, that doesn’t mean he thinks you’re a burden or unworthy of him, but he’ll find the root of the problem together with you to know why you feel this way so he could truly help you through it and make you feel better about yourself, it’s what you deserve. it really aches the man’s heart to hear you speak of yourself so negatively when all he thinks of you is everything good and butterflies in his stomach.
physical touch — to this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate physical touch. they feel love through physical affection.
lilia loves having an arm around your waist, caressing it gently with his thumb while he nods and listens attentively to you talk about your day. he’ll gently brush a stray strand of hair out of the way or tuck it behind your ear to get a better view of your— what, you look better with your hair framing your face? wrong! you look good whenever and right now he wants to admire your pretty face with no obstacles in the way.
his hand, although small, is firm and heavy against yours. absolutely loves intertwining your fingers together and rubbing his thumb on your skin, he’ll kiss the inside of your wrist while looking into your eyes with a warm gaze, always the romantic.
one of the things that makes him absolutely go weak is you sitting on his lap!! probably likes you straddling him most because he gets to be closest with you that way. it isn’t even about being sensual he just adores holding your body close against his, melting into each other’s warm and secure embrace with no care in the world.
when you’re in this position, you’ll find him speaking in a softer tone, perhaps even a little deeper than his usual voice (see: general lilia times). maybe he’s doing it on purpose because he knows it flusters you or maybe he just feels safe and allows himself to be vulnerable around you. he’ll do reassuring caresses on your thighs, waist, or both; drawing random patterns and sometimes even telling you to guess them with a small chuckle.
he’s always holding you with such tender love and care it undoubtedly makes you melt each and every time, and he’s not even trying. his hold just harbours such genuine love and affection for you, it’s another way of exposing his feelings bare to you if he wasn’t speaking up about it already. he’d love to touch you at all times if possible, it’s a solid reminder that you’re still here, with him.
he cups your cheek benevolently with one hand, caressing the heated skin and giving chaste kisses to those lips he’s addicted to, murmuring promises and affection that holds true while the other hand wraps reassuringly, tightly, perhaps even desperately around your waist, he’s not going anywhere and neither are you.
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written and posted by millie. copying, reposting, rewriting, or uploading on other platforms are strictly prohibited.
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rraizel · 3 months
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words: 2,680 pairing: lee felix x gn reader genre: angst, comfort, fluff(kinda?), very very sappy and romantic themes, they're in love, your honour
You sit there apprehensive, tapping your nails on the surface of the table as you feel the atmosphere tense up after what you had just blurted out.
"I don't think we should do that, it's a bad idea."
You had said rather seriously after Felix had proposed the idea that he wants to take you out on an actual date, with a half chuckle. You bite the inside of your cheek, not being able to make eye contact with him as you feel his cheery and half joking manner disappear when he says, "I see." quieter than he was, this entire evening. It pained you. You have known this boy for about 3 years now. You cherish him more than anything in life. And you love him more than you can allow yourself to. Because you can't bear the thought of things going south and losing him from your life. Not after what happened last time, when you allowed yourself to fall for someone. You don't want Felix to become a stranger to you or even risk the possibility of breaking his heart or have yours broken by him. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if any of those were to happen.
You gulp rather harshly as your throat gets drier by the minute. You hate how hurt he seems thanks to your abruptness and uncalled for seriousness. You look at the half eaten brownie in front of you sitting on a porcelain plate. You can feel his leg bouncing swiftly under the table.
"Actually you know what-" he lets out a chuckle of disbelief, setting his spoon down and that makes you look up at him, his face stern yet extremely expressive with a plethora of emotions, eyebrows partially furrowed, jaw somewhat clenched, "If you're so repulsed by the idea of me taking you out, maybe not always look at me with those eyes, or hold my hand under the tables when no one's watching, or fall asleep in my arms and act like it's what friends do." his voice breaks a little at the end and his face scrunches up like he's about to cry out of frustration any moment. You shake your head in disbelief, "Felix what..." you say shakily, cursing yourself out mentally. "Oh please, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. That's all everyone ever says to us, to me, how it's obvious as day. But every time, I take a step toward you, you push me away, you take several steps back. And at this point I can't even tell if I'm dreaming about it all. The way you look at me, the way you talk to me and give me all those poems that no one knows about." his voice, loud and frustrated.
You feel a sob bubble up your throat as you bite down at your lip. He had caught on, caught on to how unavoidably, ineffably in love with him you are. Your repressed feelings for him can easily outweigh anything you've ever felt. And yet you couldn't allow yourself to be close to him. Your feelings for him are like astronomy, you don't know where it starts, where it ends. The only thing you know is ever since they appeared, they haven't stopped growing since.
"Felix please..." you manage. He sighs loudly. He presses his palms to his face and then interlocks his fingers with his black locks. He stares at the table and you can tell he's about to cry. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I should've never brought it up. We're best friends and that's about it. I misread it I guess." he says lowly, pushing back his tears. You look at him with eyes wide with despair and pooled with tears. "It's not like that." a tear escapes your eye socket as your face scrunches up. Your hands, shaky and cold with fear and anxiety. He looks up at you with the saddest most distraught expression and it breaks your heart in a million little pieces. You sob a little, "I can't love, Felix. I can't fuck this up like I've fucked up before. I can't lose you like I lose people, when I try to love them. I love what we have right now so please-"
"Do you love me?" he says through his unshed tears and a broken voice, determined to hear the truth from you. You shake your head, defeated and crying "Felix, it doesn't matter we can't-"
"Do you love me or not, Y/N." he asks, voice rigid even though he's practically sobbing at this point. You look away, mouth shaking. Oh how bad you wished you could profess your love for the boy you'd destroy the world and everything in it, for. But God knows you couldn't. Not after what happened last time. Not with him, you'd do anything it takes to have him in your life, even if that meant, keeping him a little far than you'd like.
"Just tell me the truth...please." he sounds defeated. You bite your lip almost making the flesh burst open. With a heavy sigh, your chest falls as tears fall onto your lap, "I do...I always have. I'm in love with you. But we can't happe-"
He stands up from his chair abruptly, cutting you off mid sentence. He walks over to you to your side of the table in two very fast steps. He gets on his knees beside your legs, you can hear his shaky breaths. He puts his palm on your cheek, his hand colder than ever, his touch makes you shut your eyes sharply. He traces your tear away and makes you face him but that only makes you cry out harder. He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, getting a better look at you through his tear filled eyes. He can tell you are scared, scared to love him, scared that this will all fall apart if it were to begin, scared that he will leave. But God knew how his mind, body and soul, could never do that. All he ever longed and yearned for was you, to have you as his, for him to be yours with nothing in the way.
"Y/N, look at me please." his voice gentle and low through his shaky sobs. You open your blurry eyes and look at his face. His eyes are soft and warm, face soaked with tears, lips curling downwards into a frown. And God does it break you to see him crying this way.
It's not that you don't want to be loved by him or love him. You do. But you always felt as though you've been emptied of love far too much, the last time you were in love. Love left you bleeding on the roadside, with no one tending to your wounds as your once lover, walked away not once looking back at you, as you sunk deeper into the ground. Love left you unrecognisable to yourself. Love left you cold and devoid of emotions. Love left you all alone and closed off and it made you swear to yourself you'd never let your guard down for anyone ever again.
But you met Felix. The human equivalent of the sun, but softer, gentler yet warmer. Someone who never left you behind even after the countless times you tried to shut him out, in an attempt to protect his light from your darkness. Because you knew how much of a pure human being he is. It almost makes you weak in the knees to think of how a person could be so kind and patient to you, who was anything but welcoming to him in the beginning. Felix was the only bright thing in your dull and confined life where you pushed everyone and everything away, but you couldn't get rid of him. And before you knew it, this 5'7", starry eyed, freckle faced, bundle of hope, happiness and all things mushy gushy with his stupidly beautiful smile that made your world light up and your heart rate reach a pace you weren't aware it could reach, became the most important person in your life. And you'd turn the universe upside down, to protect him.
"I love you, Y/N." he says, voice shuddering, his hand resting on your cheek as he looks at you with a certain plea and tenderness in his eyes, as if he's really seeking permission, for you to let him love you.
You hold his hand over your cheek as you give it a strong squeeze. You can't comprehend your own emotions right now. He said those words. The weight of those words are inexplicable. You sob so hard, you make no sound, you just shake vigorously in front of him as your breathing grows more and more strained and uneven. Felix inches closer to you, pulling you in his arms. Your forehead rests on his shoulder as he holds you tight, letting you cry on his now soaked black t-shirt. He tries to calm himself down so he can comfort you a little, "Shh i-it's okay. I'm here. We're fine. We're o-okay. You're safe with me." His breathing is haggard, as he runs his fingers through your hair.
You want to tell him you love him too. So much, it's taking your all to not give into it right now. You want to be happy right now, happy that he loves you too. You want to be close to him. But you keep stopping yourself from feeling all those things. The feeling of despair outweighs it all, because you feel like you may not be able to give yourself to him, the way he deserves.
He pulls away from the hug and cups your face in his small hands. "I know you're scared Y/N. I know you keep thinking you'll be left broken again. But it's okay, I'm me, right? I'm your Felix. I'll wait if I need to, I'll make you see that, I'll never leave you behind. I'll always be here, loving you, being by your side through it all. And you won't have to be scared anymore okay?" he smiles in between his tears.
You look at him, wide eyed and bewildered. Make him wait...? On you? It was as though something inside you cracked open. Something inside you freed itself. You start to have this strange epiphany, looking into his eyes, that you can't wait or make him wait anymore. Not like this, when the only thing stopping you from wrapping your arms around him and never letting him go, is your past grievance over someone who only burned you in the name of love.
How can you make him wait on you? When he spent all this time, mending a heart he never broke. Your heart. That he brought back to life, stronger than ever before. All because he loves you.
Love didn't come in harsh words, disrespect and desertion when it came from him. Love came in simple actions, love came in warm small hands wiping your tears, love came with the sugar in the brownies he bakes for you, love came in the way he always stands up for you, love came in the way he always makes you smile, love came in the way he always has his arms reached out to you so you can fall into them whenever you get a little too tired of this world.
"Lix I..." you choke. You don't notice how you were already smiling while your eyes pooled with salty water, in contrast. He looks at you with raised eyebrows, a little bewildered and confused by the change in your expression. Your shaky hands, take his away from your face and hold them. A grip as firm and sincere as you can manage as you still tremble.
"I love you too, Lix. You don't have to wait for me this time. I love you." you say as calmly as you can but you cough and choke regardless. It takes him a while to register what he heard, but his eyebrows rise up, jaw hangs open into a big toothy smile. "Really? Are you sure? I don't want to press-". "I've never been this sure, Lixie." you cut his rambling off with a firm squeeze of his hands. He looks flabbergasted as he tries to contain his happiness, but being Lee Felix, he can't hold himself back from crying out happy tears. You get on your knees, on the floor to pull him into your arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulders, as he wraps his arms around you really tightly around your waist, crying into the crook of your neck.
You take in this feeling. You can't help but cry a little out of happiness too. He's here. You can finally love him like you've always longed to. There's nothing between you two anymore. You plant a small kiss on the side of his head, "There there you little cry baby. Cheer up now will you?" you chuckle through your sobs. You pull away from the hug to look at him. You've never seen him this happy but little did you know that's exactly what he was thinking as well. You join your forehead with his, closing your eyes shut.
"Y/N..?", he whispers, his breath fanning your lips.
"Hmm?"
"Say it again."
"I love you, Lix." you let out a breathy chuckle.
Your nose touches his. You feel blood rushing to your cheeks and ears with your eyes still shut. He snakes his hand away from your waist and puts them on either side of your jaw, "Can I kiss you? Please?",he exhales deeply, his voice soft and low. It sends shivers down your spine yet makes your whole face heat up. You rest your hands on his neck, "You don't have to say please, silly." You bring your mouth to his, lips, melting into each other's.
Your brain goes blank. You've dreamed of this before. But it never came nearly as close. This feeling makes your brain completely stop on its tracks and you don't register a single thought aside from being aware of what's happening right at this moment. His plump lips softly caressing yours, passionately kissing yours like he's making a promise to you. Your lips, moving rhythmically with his, trying to memorize the feeling, but not in a haste. And then he just rests his mouth on yours. His breathing steadying as he traces your face with his dainty thumb.
You both pull away gently. He lets out a soft exhale as your foreheads still remain connected, "I've wanted to do this for so long. I love you so much, please don't ever let go." his deep voice shakes sending vibrations on the surface of your lips. You back away from his face and open your eyes to look at his face. His face, sticky with tears as he stares at you with those same tender and loving eyes, his hands on your cheeks still.
That's right. You think to yourself, tracing those beige and brown spots on his face. "Never." you reassure him. He smiles in pure joy. You take in all his features and this is not the first time you've done it. You just want to remember this, his face like this. This look spread on his face, because of the fact that he can finally love you like he's longed to, all this time.
Love comes in those constellations scattered across his face. Love comes in the luster of those half moon eyes. Love comes with the stretch of his lips revealing his ever so beautiful smile. Love comes in the hearty laughter of his soft deep velvety voice. Love comes in that look he gives you, like you're the only thing worth looking at, in this ever expanding vastness of the universe. Love comes in his little soft fingers, holding your face up, like you're the most precious thing to him in his life, and God knows you are.
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sweetbbyshion · 4 months
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Eros' song
-> Shinichiro Sano x Reader (no pronouns or descriptions)
characters: Shinichiro Sano
genre: fluff
summary: you write a poem as a way to confess to your best friend
warnings: childhood friends to lovers, i wrote the poem so please don't be too mean or i'll cry, also DON'T STEAL THE POEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD it will be my last reason, the reader is into books, first quote is from Kafka's Letters to Milena and the second is Edgar Allan Poe's Annabel Lee
network: @eveningatthemoviesnetwork
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Shinichiro has been your best friend since your first memory surfaced. From the moment you could process thoughts and emotions, the man has been close to you. Truly, it was a matter of time until one of you fell in love and you happened to be the (un)lucky one.
You were no older than thirteen when the infamous incident happened. Shinichiro (also thirteen and with a really, really ugly hairstyle) looked at you and gave you a big toothy smile, like he always does whenever a cool bike passes by you. Suddenly, flowers exploded behind him, angels sang, the sun shone brighter than it had all day and you found yourself almost squinting and on the verge of throwing up because of the butterflies in your stomach. Metaphorically, obviously.
It was a shame, really. You nearly yelled at the universe for not giving this evil curse to Shinichiro instead but, apparently, the entities above also doomed Shinichiro to a life of rejection. So, you suffered because your best friend didn’t look at you and the man suffered because no girl wanted him.
At thirteen you turned into poetry and all kinds of literature, finding pieces that you related to a bit too much and, eventually, writing things yourself. Shinichiro didn’t understand most of the stuff you read, always questioning what words meant and what was so special about those poems that had you tear up so often. You shared that part of your life with him as well, showing the poems, drabbles, verses you came up with that were messily written in your journal. Fortunately for you and your weak heart, Shinichiro didn’t really understand that most of the things you wrote were about him.
It stayed that way until you were twenty three. You were less naive, more in tune with the feelings that made you want to throw up years ago and definitely in love with your best friend (who kept getting rejected even after changing the horrible hairstyle; the Gods really hated you both). Shinichiro had his own bike shop, a gang that supported him through everything and you. He still happily reads whatever you wrote in your journal and he still doesn't understand half of the stuff you have there but the honest praise and support makes your heartbeat a little bit faster. Shinichiro is there when you publish your very own poetry book, his name deservedly on the first page. To Shinichiro, who was always there for me. As Franz Kafka said “In a way, you are poetry material; You are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out.”
So, maybe, you were a bit too obvious with the whole ‘I love you’ deal but Shinichiro didn't seem to understand all the hints you dropped. Everyone around you seemed to find out about your little secret and some of his friends even went out of their way to let you know he felt the same but you weren't so sure.
“What you writing over there?” the smooth voice of Shinichiro pulls you back to reality, the noise in the shop coming back in an instant. It was almost dinner time and you came into the shop hoping to have a meal with your best friend before going home. Deciding to entertain yourself, you pulled out your notebook and a pen from your bag and wrote some ideas that popped in your head as you stared with heart eyes to the object of your affection.
“Nothing important.” A lie. The words that stared back at you formed, yet again, another finished love poem that you dreamed of showing to Shinichiro in hopes that he would read it and return your feelings. Shinichiro knew you were lying. Somehow he always knew. You refuse to return eye contact when he grabs your pen and doodles mindlessly next to the verses, a routine he acquired when you whined about the pages of your journal being too boring with just words in it. You look at his hands gently drawing small hearts (Shinichiro couldn't draw a heart even if it was to save his family but you grew to love the blob shapes) and a random dog with stars surrounding it.
“Can I read it?” You meet his eyes, tender and sweet, which were already looking at you. Your heart flips, turns and does cartwheels when Shinichiro gives you that toothy smile that makes him close his eyes and you can only let out a small “Sure.” before closing your mouth so you don't accidentally confess.
My soul holds a secret that my pen
Now wishes to share.
In ink-stained lines, my feelings find a home:
Untold to anyone but the Gods from above,
As I convoke Eros to help me compose a piece
That will reach your heart.
But do I dare?
Do I dare trouble the deities with a greedy tone
When I can’t gather the courage
To whisper confessions when we’re alone;
The only witness to my love
Being the moon shining high up
And the paper getting stained with passion.
So sure of my affection yet,
I hesitate.
Do you dare reciprocate these heavy feelings
That only keep me awake at night or
Am I merely a friend that consoles your ego
When things fall apart?
But it’s okay,
For I have accepted the possibility
The harsh, unwanted probability
That I’m doomed to an existence of unrequited love
And a lifeless life
Without the muse who inspires me
To write the most loveful poems and
The most sorrowful verses.
You nervously glance at Shinichiro while he is reading, noticing how his eyes squint and his nose scrunches from time to time (he does it when he doesn't understand something that is written). You pay close attention to his face, the poet in you wishing to remember Shinichiro until your last day if the worst was to happen. A part of you hopes the man will finally understand all of the things you wished to say but weren’t strong enough to. You pray that your poem reaches his heart and soul, that he sees you not only as a longtime friend but a life partner. “Wow.” He sighs, lifting his eyes from the paper to settle on you again. “I’ll never get tired of saying you’re really good.” Shinichiro stands back at his full height, murmuring about back pain after leaning down for so long. You look up at the man who has your world spinning around him, waiting to see if he says something more. He doesn't.
“Is that all?” You ask, playing with the bracelet on your wrist (a gift from Shinichiro when you turned 18). He looks at you confused. His eyes scan the paper again, rereading the verses to figure out if he missed anything. He still looks lost so you grab the pen and, in a moment of courage, you write a few words at the bottom of the poem. For Shinichiro, who I “loved with a love that was more than love”. The handwriting is shaky, giving away the anxiety exuding out of you. Shinichiro reads the additional words, then stops, then looks at you. You get up, not being able to have his body towering you that way. He is standing next to you and, for the first time, you’re not sure about the emotions revealed by his eyes. You wonder if you made a mistake confessing out of nowhere, in his shop, while his siblings and friends are hanging out and the last customers exit. You should have eased your way into the subject but what’s done is done and all you have left is to wait.
“I know I’m not the smartest person…” Shinichiro’s eyes are on you, reading your every move. “But does this mean what I think it means?” You nod, not trusting your voice. His eyes widen and, in a sudden movement, Shinichiro is even closer to you. His hands are on each side of your face, forcing you to look at him. “You wrote a poem for me. A love poem.” You nod again, your movements a bit restricted by the big hands holding your face in place. “I’m going to kiss you.”
Shinichiro gives you five seconds to step back before his lips are crashing against yours. You don't think any poem, book, word could describe what you felt the moment your lips met. It’s fast and a bit clumsy but you couldn't be more happy this happened, unable to control the smile when Shinichiro stops the kiss to look at you. You want to giggle like a young teenager when Shinichiro gives you that smile you love more than anything. “Does this mean you feel the same?”
“Yeah. Have for a while. Couldn't stand the thought of getting rejected by you though.” His thumb caresses your cheek and you find yourself leaning to the touch.
“I would never reject you.” You murmur, embarrassed at such revelation. “You know there’s a quote from Emily Brontë-”
“Tell me about her in a bit.” Shinichiro interrupts you. “I want to kiss you again.”
The next time you write a poem isn't about Shinichiro, your best friend. Instead, you dumped all of the new (reciprocated) feelings about Shinichiro, your boyfriend, and the experiences you get from living with him by your side. Most of your poems were and will probably always be about Shinichiro Sano, no matter the status he holds in your life. You get to love your muse and your boyfriend gets a lifetime supply of romantic poetry dedicated to him (as well as quotes that fit each situation).
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