#pure hobbit vibes

[writercoracain]

i know everyone loves autumn vibes but where are my spring writers. where is my fantasy slathered in sunlight and soaked in balmy heat. where are my cottages with the windows flung open. buzzing bees flitting about a garden. forestfolk bumbling about collecting acorns and climbing trees in full bloom. where is my sidequest to a pond where our adventurers take an afternoon to rest their feet and water their steeds. where is the slow kissing behind a willow on the eastern shore of a long fogotten isle. i want summer garb and billowing dresses. knights in half their armor, catching a breeze while they wait their turn at the local tournament. barmaids in overalls and strappy sandals pouring specialty summer ale brewed with seasonal flowers and golden wheat. jaunts through a warm kingdom, searching the nightmarket for goods from far off places while neighbors dance under bottled candlelight.

[fangirlforeversthings]

Them: imagine all of your favourite fictional characters coming together in a meet up

Me:........soo.......

...four ancient spartans including a polemarkhos a king a misthios and a general, a pirate captain, two dwarfs, an elf, the King of gondor, a former assasin te*rorist, three superheroes, five witchers, two vampires, two jedi knights, a jedi master and his clone commander, a clone captain, a Senator, a mandalorian and his adoptive alien son, a firebending war general, and the devil walked into a bar....

[skullmoss]

i ONLY play shorties

[kateksmallcuteowl]

June 29: Single Parents/Uncles AU for an event by @bagginshieldweek24

I deeply regret that the challenge is a day late! Exams are merciless to me, and even though I started drawing in advance, I still couldn’t handle the deadline 😅 I promise to catch up with feedback tomorrow, after passing bioinformatics exam.

More headcanons and details under the cut>>

— It’s an alternative Middle-earth universe with hobbits, humans, dwarves, and elves, but set in modern times.

— Thorin grew up in Erebor in a royal family (which makes sense), is accustomed to good coffee, can distinguish different types, and knows which brewing devices are best. Now he has moved to London for work and discovered that both dwarf and human coffee shops would often use cheap beans or bad coffee machines, or they grind the beans incorrectly, or even set the wrong amount of grams of coffee per espresso shot. In general, they save money wherever they can, mostly selling the vibe and relying on the fact that taste isn’t important to most of the customers. Elves occupy the niche of coffee connoisseurs, but Thorin would rather drink filter coffee from a kettle on the roadside than go to elves. And then he discovers that hobbits, little hedonists, love good food and GOOD COFFEE! Of course, in hobbit cafes, he has to sit on low chairs and by the small tables, and at first, the other patrons looked at the dwarf in their company strangely, but it’s worth it. Thorin is willing to sit with a bent back if he gets a quiet and cozy atmosphere, excellent Wi-Fi, and delicious coffee (an office in London is good, but sometimes you need to get out of the four walls to not get nuts).

— Thorin rarely drinks pure espresso, preferring softer variations. He also has a sweet-tooth.

— Bilbo is a children’s book writer, mainly known for a series of fantasy novels about a brave hobbit who traveled over and under the mountains, rode in barrels, and played riddles in the dark (Bilbo, in canon, wrote his memoirs, which all hobbits except Merry and Frodo knew primarily for Hobbiton children, so I think he would primarily write for little hobbit kids).

— It’s not a real feather he uses, but a ballpoint pen with attached feathers, like those sold in souvenir shops. Bilbo bought it after a tour to the Tower of London. He likes the ✨vibe✨ and the fact that he can twirl the feather part around his lips when he’s thinking. (It’s literally an instruction on how to seduce Thorin)

— Mr. Baggins only drinks doppio. The cup is big compared to him because it’s hobbit ceramics, and the portion sizes for hobbits, who love treats, are no smaller than human ones.

— Bilbo has taken care of Frodo since his parents drowned in an accident. Frodo is about 8-9 years old here.

— I love the headcanon that hobbits’ ears react to their emotions, so the fact that Frodo doesn’t lower them when Bilbo scolds him is a good sign. Bilbo is a good uncle.

— Thorin and Bilbo have seen each other several times on Wednesdays. Usually, they don’t care about other patrons, but barista keept trying to serve a doppio to the stern scowling dwarf in black leather jacket, and a cappuccino with whipped cream to the little curly hobbit in a plaid sweater. They’ve had to swap their drinks several times.

— Thorin read Mr. Baggins’ books to his nephews in Erebor and quickly figured out who always sits at the table near the window in his favorite cafe. Thorin likes Bilbo’s books but doesn’t know if he’s married because he keeps his personal life private. Seeing Frodo, he immediately assumed he was Bilbo’s son, considering how the little hobbit looks at him.

— Bilbo immediately noticed the stern ( handsome) dwarf sitting with his eyes glued to his phone, but he always felt too awkward to speak with him. How do you even start a conversation with a stranger, especially from another race? So when Frodo, rather bluntly, commented on his appearance, of course, Bilbo was embarrassed. No, he absolutely agrees with Frodo. The exotic braids, unusual for short-haired hobbits, look amazing on the tall dwarf, and the iron clips highlight his blue eyes perfectly, but isn’t that a bit rude to point that out? Wouldn’t a dwarf decide that he is trying to mock his culture?

— Bilbo saw that while he was scolding Frodo, Thorin turned away and for some reason tugged angrily at his braid, so he decided to muster the courage and compliment him himself to ease the awkwardness and not seem rude (not at all because he would gladly say what Frodo did himself and not because Mr. Dwarf has much more attractive features he’d also like to make a comment on, not at all, what are you talking about, no-no-no).

— The dwarf didn’t seem offended at all.

— They started talking and found out that Thorin’s nephews love Bilbo’s books (Bilbo was flattered by this news. He’s still surprised when his books are read by anyone other than hobbits. (Gandalf didn’t tell him that his books are popular among all races. Mostly because for other races they play the role of kids books where main protagonist is a cute mice)).

— And in the end, as we see, they exchanged numbers 🌚����

— They will meet again, but without Frodo and not just for coffee.

— The end✨✨✨

I’m still experimenting with a flat-color style and lineart so I’ll be glad to know what do you think about it. Hope the comic was enjoyable!

[the-trash-site]

My favourite type of fanfiction at the moment has been 'y/n is reincarnated into fandom to save the characters from canon!'. (currently mainly reading for JJK and MHA as that's what I'm obsessed with.) There's something so pure about the plot and how the author has fun with it. With scenes where yn is lowkey simping or the actual character of the fandom being dorky.

I think the appeal (besides the amazing writing and passion given into each chapter of these fanfic, rec list below) of this is how straightforward it can be. You already know the characters, you know the canon. All you learn when first reading is what ability you get and how you fit within the world. Which is usually attending the school or growing up with the character.

But mostly, what I love is seeing the butterfly effect and the new dynamics it can create. But lately, I can't help but wonder about a fanfic that has the vibe of 'careful what you wish for'. And seeing what ripples that could make. (I write mostly of JKK and MHA but these ideas could be apply to AOT or Demon Slayer or any other fandom.)

I find it hilarious if instead, the y/n is older than the main group. Imagine being the milf/dilf of MHA. Being the same age as All Might or old enough to adopt characters like Shigaraki.

Or being the in-between age of Deku and the teachers. Where your options are; hanging out with the League of Villains, working hard asf to be a top hero to be around Hawks/the plot. Or becoming a teacher/assistant to watch over class 1A to change canon. I mean, what else are you meant to do in your early twenties? You literally have to force yourself into the plot lol

Oh, you have a favourite character, like Nanami, Gojo or Choso you want to meet? Here you go, a new life as their child! (probably be a sibling for Choso lol) Oh you met you wanted to rizz them up and treat them right? Nope, sorry, you're forced to tag along and face any challenges that would come as being a child to a; Jujutsu sorcerer/ the strongest/ a half-curse spirit.

Oh, this time you specified the thought of being dating/married to Aizawa/Geto/Toji as you died? Kinda weird but here you go! Your new life as their spouse! But only, you don't gain memories from this new life, as you only remember about the canon. Don't mind the grief and odd looks the character is giving you, their amnesia darling. It's not like you can't remember the wedding you two shared. (for maximum angst, they have the kids and you're just clueless about being a parent and saving the canon. yikes)

Okay, but what if you get super lucky? You get to be with the main character and do real help! Everything is fine in JJK but Sukuna is dead set on killing you. Every chance he gets, he uses until he kills you. But it's only after he brought you back that you learn it's because he actually loves you. After all, you're the reincarnated of his reincarnated dead wife. (not confusion at all, lol) He was just pissed that you dead centuries ago and couldn't have the life you two planned. It was his way of getting even. Definitely not annoying when trying to save characters.

Okay, for real now. Everything is perfectly fine...But what's this? Yuji and Izuku are actually yandere for you? Oh, that wouldn't change canon that much, right?

Anyway, here are my favourites fanfics;

Otherworldy attraction by Kilkyo851 JJK | on AOE | multiple pairings

When I catch you Gege by Quinnyundertow JJK | on AOE | multiple pairings

Daybreak by sexy-captain-rexy (smolkatsudon) Star wars | poly Obi-Wan, Anakin Skywalker and reader pairing| on AOE

Promise: Thorin x Fíli x reader Hobbit | love angle with true pairing haven't been shown | on AOE (this one is interesting as reader has more visions than knowledge from media.)

Changing History [MHA! Various F!Reader] by summerblack | MHA | on Qoutev

The Future's Keeper [MHA!Various x F!Reader] by summerblack | MHA | on Quotev

[ichigo-dream]

Leon Kennedy - Eating Headcannons (SFW + NSFW)

Dream and I were having a drinks sesh cause the weather is good with us atm, and we ended up having a full discussion about Leon and eating. We were discussing the criteria to qualify as what we have coined a “neo fem-boy”, and how Leon has a lilll bit of squish to him despite the muscle - cause baby boy likes to EAT (both figuratively and metaphorically). Leon canonically put on 40 lbs of pure muscle between RE 2 and RE 4, yet he still somehow looks a lil bit soft and squishy soooooo we had to write this shit down.

Basically we just wanna eat up soft Leon, enjoy~

SFW

It's established canon that this man wants dinner all the time (see Leon in Infinite Darkness and Damnation)

This boy is hobbit-coded - baby boy needs at least three square meals a day - we’re talking full fry up in the morning, actual lunch and a spread for dinner. Might even squeeze in brunch and supper while he’s at it.

Snack, snacks, snacks - always snacking on something.

Having low blood sugar and being in a relationship with Leon is a match made in Heaven.

Lil baby has a sweet tooth

His jacket and coat pockets will always have some form of sweet in them - gum, lollipops, hard boiled sweets, Tiic Tacs, jawbreakers,

Any time you’re in the car together or watching a film, you can hear the hard sugar shell clacking against his teeth.

Will hide food, and eat in bed - you get into bed after a long day and when your head hits the pillow, you’ll hear a plastic rustle. Reaching under you’ll find a half-eaten packet of cookies or biscuits he’d been snacking on earlier that he had shoved under your pillow.

Will finish your food for you

Birthdays are his fav - any excuse to have cake this boy will use it - will eat any kind, but boy is a slut for vanilla cake and strawberry jam filling - you will often have to wipe the cream and jam from the corners of his mouth.

Will fuck up a strawberry sundae especially in the summer time.

Speaking of summer, it’s one of his favourite seasons

Loves to eat outside in the sunshine when it’s hot and balmy

Perfect weather for ice cream or milkshakes – and he won’t waste a single drop. If he notices some trickling down the cool glass in his hands, he’ll lick it up, completely oblivious to how the small action makes you blush.

You’ll often catch him eating his cereal standing up, watching TV or nosying at the neighbours having an argument in the streets below, still in his pyjama bottoms.

Loves milkshake straws - has a collection of different flavours - though, when he doesn’t use a straw, he is always oblivious to the cute lil milkstache.

Will squirt cream straight into his mouth in front of the fridge.

Weddings, and other events are the worst for him, as whilst he loves desserts, they rarely serve his favourites.

“I fucking hate pavlova” he grumbles, proceeding to eat it anyway, just to get his sugar fix.

Loves fruit - will eat raspberries one by one off the tips of his fingers.

You’ll catch him eating ice cream sitting on the kitchen floor in front of the fridge in the middle of the night, sucking on his spoon and looking at you like a deer in headlights when he sees you standing there watching him.

Will get cranky if he doesn’t get to eat - hangry vibes

If he wakes up late, he will refuse to leave without breakfast - this boy will run out the door with a piece of toast in his mouth like an anime school girl.

His RPD uniform has lots of “fancy pockets” and what are they good for? Emergency snack storage - nuts, sweets, biscuits, dried fruit. 

For his birthday, you buy him candy bracelets - heart eyes for days - and he sits and absent-mindedly sucks on them at his desk at work, thinking of you.

NSFW

As a birthday present, you wear a candy necklace during sex and Leon attacks your neck, sucking and biting at it whilst he fucks you.

Due to his habits, he always tastes sweet - all of him tastes sweet if you catch our drift (ya, his cum)

Whilst he’s squirting cream into his mouth, if you happen to be walking past and notice some of it lingering on the corners of his mouth and decide to lick it off, baby boy will forget everything he’s doing and fuck you over the kitchen table.

Speaking of cream - will use it on you when he fucks you, kitten-licking the sweet dollops off your warm skin (tits, collarbones, stomach - he's gonna eat you up)

If you’re curious about something he’s eating and want to taste some, he’ll kiss you in lieu of sharing (Leon is only possessive over two things - you and food).

Big into gum sharing - will use it as an excuse to start making out with you.

If things get a little messy when you’re eating cake, he will lick your hands clean if he’s in the mood.

Leon is a munch in more ways than one.

This boy will eat you out of house and home, including your pussy.

Could eat three square meals a day and will still go down on you like he’s starving.

Kitchen? Bedroom? Sofa? Standing up? Doesn’t matter - man’s is ready to munch anytime anywhere.

Whilst he’s eating you out, he’ll rut his hips against the bed - the sugar rush means he is always full of energy and ready to go at all times.

Will suck on your clit like it's a gobstopper.

Gets bratty when he hasn’t had a snack - but, it just so happens that he considers you to be the sweetest one.

Be prepared to be fucked within an inch of your life when he gets like this - or for him to eat you out until you can’t walk (will bring you a snack afterwards ofc).

This man gained 40lbs of muscle— but like we said, baby boy is still soft  

Leon puts you in a headlock whilst he fucks you and his biceps have a nice lil bit of squish which you relish in when he chokes you.

His ass jiggles - when he’s lying stomach down on bed, you love slapping it when you walk past and watching it jiggle like jelly - this action without fail will make him blush and whine “Stop!” every time.

You like to bite him

He’s too cute and squishy to resist honestly

Playfully nibbling his plump lil cheek

Biting his thick arms

When you’re riding him and can’t resist playfully kneading his tits like a kitten, and it makes him grab your wrists and fuck into you harder - he’ll later claim that him turning red from his cheeks to his chest was from exertion and not embarrassment.

He is the comfiest place to lie on when you’re fucked out and riding the waves of post-orgasmic bliss.

If you made it this far, comment “Bingo!”

Thank you for reading!

Love,

Ichigo and Dream xoxo

[saurongorthaur9]

The new trailer is making me Feel All The Things.

But most of all, I have waited twenty years for this. I have waited twenty years to see the Sauron of the Silmarillion. A Sauron with a face and a voice, in all his manipulative, charming, diabolical glory. I've dreamed twenty years that one day I'd get an adaptation that showed me the Sauron I've seen in my mind since I read the Silmarillion as a child. And I'm finally getting it. My dream is finally coming true.

For twenty years, I've watched and re-watched and re-watched the LOTR movies, and every time, I hang on the few seconds that we see Sauron as the armored figure at the beginning of FOTR, drinking in those few seconds because it was all that I had.

Then ten years later, the Hobbit movies came out and I lost my mind over having a few more seconds of Sauron as an armored figure and his showdown with Galadriel and him being voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch. I re-watched those movies the same way, hanging on those few new seconds like it was my desert oasis.

And then I got Season 1 of ROP, and I loved it, but it still wasn't pure unadulterated Sauron that I was watching. I love Charlie's performance as Halbrand, but we only got a few fleeting minutes of a glimpse of the true Sauron underneath.

But now...watching this trailer...it's HIM. It's the Sauron I've always dreamed of seeing on my screen. It's HIS voice. It's HIS eyes. He doesn't look completely the way I have always pictured Sauron, but the vibe - the PRESENCE - is all HIM. I've gotten more just from the trailers than I've had from all six movies, and we're not even to the actual season yet. He's mesmerizing. He's terrifying. He's otherworldly. He's sexy. He's laced with cruelty and arrogance that absolutely radiates off of him.

He's the Sauron who has lived in my brain as my favorite fictional character of all time for twenty years come to life.

I'm crying.

I'm going to get to see Sauron. I'm going to get to see SAURON!

I don't even know entirely what I'm feeling. It's excitement. It's happiness. But it's also this nameless feeling of intense, all-consuming hunger finally being sated after it has burned at me for so, so, so long.

I'm finally getting my dream.

I'm finally getting my Sauron.

[morpheus-somnium]

pieces of media i would make skyrim characters watch

i would totally make the characters watch these. no getting up from the couch. no getting up to get more popcorn.

i assign a few movies, series, or franchises to each character, because i spent most of my day on letterboxd

i haven't seen all of these media, but don't worry, i swear i can assign those to them based on the vibes

also i don't have caryalind, khash, remiel, nebarra and xelzaz downloaded (no storage on my pc:( ) so i went purely on the vibes and what i could find about them on nexus ToT but also, i am making them watch these, so ig it's kinda fine if they aren't that corresponding?

basic skyrim characters

babette: interview with the vampire, 1995 + eternals, 2021

brynjolf: the oceans's franchise + tangled, 2010

cicero: terrifier, 2016

delvin mallory: the pink panther franchise + the man from u.n.c.l.e, 2015 + breaking bad

enthir: the goldfinch, 2019

faralda: i'm giving her the winx franchise 🧚✨

farkas: the twilight franchise

j'zargo: whiplash, 2014

mercer frey: gladiator, 2000 + reservoir dogs, 1992

maven black-briar: the devils wears prada, 2006 + the godfather franchise

miraak: annihilation, 2018 + the call of cthulhu, 2005

nazir: the saw franchise 💕

neloth: house md

ondolemar: pride & prejudice, 2005 + anna karenina, 2012 + mean girls, 2004

runil: the conjuring franchise

serana: underworld, 2003 + the monster high franchise + the twilight franchise

teldryn sero: scream franchise + john wick, 2014

tolfdir: harry potter franchise + the lord of the rings franchise

tullius: gladiator, 2000 + the asterix & obelix franchise (especially the olympics one because i love that one)

ulfric stromcloak: the hobbit franchise

urag gro shub: the da vinci code, 2006

vex: the handmaiden, 2016 + gone girl, 2014

vilkas: fight club, 1999

modded followers

auri: the avatar franchise (she would enjoy those huge trees, omg)

caryalind: emma, 2020

gore: the scary movie franchise + the fight club, 1999 + the resident evil franchise

inigo, the brave + lucien flavius (these two come in a pair, i can't even separete them anymore): atlantis, 2001 + road to el dorado, 2000 + the indiana jones franchise

kaidan: kwaidan, 1964 LMAO

khash: the barbie franchise + hungarian folk tales + hello kitty stump village, 2004

nebarra: blade runner 2045, 2017

remiel: lara croft franchise + the martian, 2015

taliesin: the devil wears prada, 2006 + zoolander franchise (lmao)

xelzaz: ratatouille, 2007

[itslulabee]

Participation (Ch.1)

~

Be My Lover

Kili x OC (smut!! some plot too)

(part two, part three, part four, part five, part six)

Description; This fanfic is posted to my AO3 as well, it's basically just pure filth with my OC Kaia and five members of Thorin's Company, starting with the beloved Kili <3

MINORS DNI !!! sexy times ensuing...

AN; I was listening to Freaky Deaky by Tyga and Doja Cat whilst reading this, just letting you know the vibes.

Translations for any Khuzdul will be at the end! <3

~ <3 ~

Joining a company of thirteen dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard was never on Kaia’s to-do list.

She enjoyed the sanctity of her little cottage in the middle of nowhere, keeping to herself and minding her business. After all, she was a human woman with no family, and no ties to the rest of Middle Earth. No-one should bother her… right?

Wrong. One night, a few weeks ago, a storm broke out. Ignoring it to the best of her ability, Kaia curled up in her armchair with a book, almost missing the knock at her door.

Curious and slightly annoyed, Kaia looked out through the small window built into the wooden door, and was surprised to see a rather tall man standing on her doorstep. He wore a grey cloak and a pointy hat, both of which were completely soaked from the tumultuous rain. As was his long grey hair and his long grey beard.

Nevertheless, when he caught her eye, he gave her a warm smile.

“Good evening, my lady!” He bellowed, trying to sound louder than the thunder which echoed around the valley. “I wondered if my travelling companions and I could seek refuge in your barn?”

And that was how it started. Kaia begrudgingly agreed, hardly willing to let some travellers freeze to death when she had the means to help. He thanked her profusely, and went on his way, closely followed by fourteen smaller, but equally soaked, individuals.

The next morning, she went to the barn to check on her unexpected guests.

The man introduced himself as Gandalf the Grey, a wizard. She had heard of him, and he her. Her father was a traveller in his day, and he seemed to have crossed paths with the wizard on a few occasions.

Gandalf was glad to have found her, as the leader of their company had led them astray during the storm, and they were now completely lost.

With a sigh, Kaia agreed to show them the way back to the main road, hoping that once she saw them off, she could go back to her life and forget about this whole affair.

She was wrong.

The journey to the main road was a quick one, but felt longer as Kaia spent more time talking with Gandalf, his hobbit friend Bilbo, and the variety of dwarves which comprised the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.

And just like that, she found herself travelling with them far past the main road.

-

It surprised her how much she enjoyed being around the odd bunch. They made her laugh with their jokes and gripped her attention with many stories of their homeland, and their mission to reclaim it.

What surprised her most, however, was how attractive some of these dwarves were...

The renowned and uncrowned King Under the Mountain, Thorin Oakenshield, was certainly easy on the eyes. Tall for a dwarf, coming up to her shoulders, he was built well and walked with a commanding aura fit for a king. He had a handsome face, a deep rumbling voice and a self-assured glint in her eye which made her swoon.

But it was not just him who caught Kaia’s eye. His two nephews shared their uncles rugged good looks, but had their own styles and mannerisms that made them completely different. They were cheeky and energetic, and did not waste a single opportunity to flirt with her, causing her to almost be in a constant state of blushing.

Thinking about the line of Durin was enough to make her get hot and bothered, shifting slightly on her saddle as she felt a familiar ache she had grown used to ignoring. However now, in the presence of all of these dwarves, she found herself getting more and more restless, yearning for five minutes alone with one of them, or a few of the other handsome dwarves besides the royal three…

“Are you alright, Miss Kaia?” A small voice breaks her from her thought. She turns her head to see Bilbo Baggins looking up at her from his own pony, giving her a small smile.

“Oh. Yes, I’m fine, Bilbo, Thank you.” Kaia nods, offering him what she hopes was a convincing smile. In truth, she was letting her mind run wild with fantasies of at least five of their dwarvish companions, her whole body flushing at the impure thoughts floating around her head.

“Your face looks a little red, and you keep twitching. Do you feel under the weather?” Bilbo asks, growing concerned.

“I believe I am just tired from all of this riding, dear hobbit…” Kaia chuckles.

“Aye, lass, we’ve been going at it all day.” Bofur's voice pipes up, sidling up to Kaia’s other side, “No wonder you’re sore.”

Bofur gives her a lopsided smile, but his seemingly innocent words struck another cord in Kaia. Looking at Bofur and his goofy, handsome face, she started thinking about going at it with him all day… she cleared her throat, looking away from Bofur to focus on the horizon.

“No, you definitely don’t look alright, I’ll go speak to Oin!” Bilbo says, awkwardly manoeuvring his pony away from her before she could protest. Sighing, she gripped the reins of her horse once again, avoiding Bofur's concerned gaze.

“We will stop for camp in the oncoming clearing!” Thorin’s voice booms from the front of the troupe. Kaia sighs gratefully at this, excited to be able to rest.

-

Camp was set up very quickly, the proficiency of these dwarves was really spectacular. Especially when they were hungry. In record breaking time, the princes caught rabbits for Bombur to cook. The group milled about in their small, camp-fire lit area, engaging in pleasant conversations amongst themselves.

“When do you think Gandalf with be back?” Bilbo asked Kaia. He was sat next to her, as he often did, smoking his pipe. They had become fast friends, often finding common ground as the minority of non-dwarvish members of the company

“I don’t know. He said a few days, how long has it been?”

“A few days.”

“Ah.” Kaia clicks her tongue, “Then I suppose he should be back soon!”

Bilbo chuckles at this, and Kaia smiles over at him, glad she can make him laugh in moments when he is uneasy. Their friendship was important to both of them, grounding them when they were both caught up in their thoughts. Bilbo worrying about his position in the group, fighting a dragon and perhaps never returning home. And Kaia, thinking lewd thoughts about half of their travelling party. She definitely had it worse.

Kaia reclined against a boulder, fiddling with her mothers necklace as she closed her eyes for a moment. She heard a pair of footsteps approaching the campfire, sitting across from her.

“So, Kaia.” Came Kili’s voice, “You’ve been travelling with us for a while now. Not in a rush to go home?”

Kaia opens her eyes to look at him. He and his brother are sat on a log across from her, Kili smoking his pipe and smiling at her, with Fili busying himself with cleaning his daggers.

“It seems like it.” Kaia says, shrugging.

“We never asked, who’s waiting for you back in that cottage of yours?” Fili asks, his tone nonchalant as he sharpened one of his many knives.

Kaia squinted at the pair, curious about whether or not they were starting up another one of their strange pranks. She had been brought into too many of them before by being naive.

“Why?” She asks.

Fili and Kili shrug, in unison. More members of the group have sat around the fire now, waiting for dinner to be served.

“Why, what?” Nori asks, stretching his arms in front of him.

“We were asking her if she’s got anyone waiting for her at home.” Kili says, shrugging once again.

“Oh, dear, I hope you haven’t left your parents behind to worry about you!” Dori chirps, looking her over in concern. She gave him a warm smile, opening her mouth to speak when she’s interrupted by the blonde haired prince.

“We weren’t asking about her parents…” Fili says. Kaia looks at him, and he winks at her.

“You’re asking me if I left a husband to wait for me?” Kaia asks, a small smirk gracing her lips. Fili’s eyes drop to her mouth, and his tongue pops out to dampen his own. It makes Kaia’s thighs clench slightly at the image of him using his mouth for other means crosses her mind…

“No. I have no husband waiting for me.” Kaia says, trying to play coy as she looks off into the campfire.

“No suitors, either?” Kili asks, resting his head in his palm.

“No suitors, either.”

“How come?” Bofur asks, sitting down next to her. He chews on his pipe as he looks at her intensely, and she shrugs at him.

“I don’t know. No men have come knocking. I don’t think I’m really “courtship material.” Kaia chuckles, playing with the hem of her shirt.

“What do you mean by that, Kaia?” Gloin asks, warming his hands on the fire.

Kaia thinks for a second, looking around at the intrigued faces of her friends.

“I think I intimidate them. I’m not one for being wooed, any men who come close to me I pay no mind to.” Kaia then stops as a sad thought enters her mind. “And perhaps, I’m not attractive enough.”

Though she expected the dwarves to pay no mind to this self-degrading sentiment, the group was in uproar.

“Not attractive enough?!” Kili guffaws, looking at her with wide eyes.

“I’ve never heard the likes of it.” Bofur agrees, shaking his head. The flaps of his hat shake with him, and he gives her an incredulous look.

“Are the men where you're from blind?” Dwalin grumbles, sharpening his axe whilst he looks her up and down.

More of the group hum in agreement to this, and Kaia feels her face go red at the surprising compliments.

“W-well… my father always said I didn’t have womanly features. I always wanted to be out in the fields doing the hard labour with him, and I probably eat more than I should…” Kaia’s voice comes out quiet, thinking back on her parents negative thoughts about her.

It was true, Kaia was built more like a farmer than a wife. Years of working on a farm has given her some muscle, and the years of experimenting in the kitchen and making herself hearty meals had given her a little stomach and a bigger behind. She didn’t hate herself, by any measure, but she could understand that she was not the "picture of femininity"…

“You don’t eat nearly enough!” Dori says, shaking his head. Kaia chuckles at this, and the adamant agreement amongst the group.

“Men really are strange creatures…” Dwalin grunts, “If you were a dwarrowdam in the blue mountains, you’ve have dwarrows fighting over you every damn day. Hell, you’d probably be married with four lovers and an army of bairns by now!”

Kaia laughs heartily at this, as the others agree with him with cheers and nods.

“Four lovers?!” She exclaims, as Bilbo looks at her shocked.

But the dwarves all nod, giving her smiles which indicate this to be a huge compliment.

“Of course not.” Fili says, waving his hand in the air. “She’d have at least seven! And they would be the richest dwarf lords in the mountains.

“Aye!” Kili says, clapping his brother on the shoulder.

Kaia looks at them with wide eyes, and looks over at Bilbo who mirrors her confusion.

“And why would I have so many lovers if I were married?” She asks, confused and wondering if she should be insulted. Were they calling her a slut?

The dwarves raise their eyebrows at her.

“As is tradition.” Balin says to her gently, sitting beside his brother. “Dwarrowdams are a very small percent of our population. Because of this, many will often have many paramours and lovers, as well as a husband.”

The dwarves nod at this.

“Aye, the more lovers she has, the more beautiful she must be, and respected she is amongst her kin.” Gloin says, nodding. “My lass has three lovers keeping watch over her back home.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?” Bilbo says, incredulous.

Gloin guffaws at this, insulted.

“They are all honourable dwarves. I’d trust them with her life and mine, and our lads too.” Gloin says, holding his chin up.

“You must understand, laddie, that it’s not as if there is not commitment there.” Balin says gently, “Taking a lover is a significant arrangement. There are celebrations and all, it's rather romantic.”

“Aye, Bombur’s wife joined with her lover before we left, it was a beautiful ceremony.” Bofur sighs, wistfully.

Kaia looks around at all of them.

“Have any of you have got dwarrowdam lovers waiting for you back home?” She asks, playing with her hair.

“Oh, aye. My dear dam Myssa. She’s truly special.” Dori says, smiling proudly along with Ori and Nori.

“She has a husband?” Kaia asks, carefully. Dori nods enthusiastically.

“His name is Heron. He’s a lovely dwarrow, always welcoming of me and my brothers. We’ve been a family for going on fifty years now.”

Kaia nods at this, finding herself moved by the love in his voice.

“Though, it’s not always about commitments. Sometimes a dam will have a dwarf just for one night of passion.” Bofur says, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Bilbo chokes on his pipe, spitting tufts of clouds. Some of the group nod at this, but others tell Bofur to stop being so vulgar.

“Damn straight.” Nori sighs, a cheeky grin on his face, “Nothing like a beautiful lass taking you into her arms for just a long moment…”

“Nori! Don’t make it sound so lewd!” Dori tuts. Beside him, Ori flushes deep red, avoiding Kaia’s eyes.

“He’s right, though. A good tumble in the hay is exactly what a dwarf needs to keep his mind sharp.” Grumbles Dwalin, who smirks down at his axe. Kaia stares at him, and his large hands, wondering if they are talented at more than just axe-wielding.

Noticing her gaze, Dwalin locks eyes with her. His eyes travel down her body, slowly, taking in every inch of her. Kaia pants slightly at the fire in his eyes, and feels like she is naked in front of him. She wishes she was naked in front of him…

“What’s all this about?” Comes Thorin’s voice, who walks into the centre of the camp. He looks around at the dwarves, a variety of expressions looking up at him.

His eyes land on Kaia, who is flushed red and breathing deeply. His eyes linger on her chest for a moment, before he looks into her eyes.

Can one of these dwarves please just take it easy on me for five minutes…

“We were just educating our dear lass and hobbit about dwarvish customs.” Balin says nonchalantly, trying to clear some of the tension in the camp.

“You know the ones, uncle…” Fili drawls, leaning back slightly. He locks eyes with Kaia as he says, “Sharing is caring.”

Kaia looks over at him, and he spreads his legs slightly while tilting his head. The movement has Kaia blushing, and she looks away, catching Kili’s eyes. Kili is watching her intensely, a slight pink tint to his cheeks but a smile graces his lips. The look in his eyes, as well as the look in Filis, has Kaia’s body practically thrumming with desire.

“Now, now, boys. The lass is human, she’s unused to our dwarfish customs. Don’t make her feel uncomfortable.” Balin says, shaking his head at the princes. He gives her a warm smile, which she feebly returns.

“Aye, Bilbo’s practically seizing.” Nori says, chuckling. He’s right, Bilbo is as red as a sunburnt tomato, mouth agape and eyes wide at the revelation of the dwarves voyeuristic behaviours.

“That’s enough. It’s almost time to eat, stop this foolishness and return to your duties.” Thorin growls, walking away from the group.

The air is thick with tension. Across from her, Fili is staring at her like he wants to devour her, and Kili is watching her like he wants her to devour him.

Balin follows after Thorin, leaving Dwalin in his place to glide his hands over his axe, watching her legs as they tremble slightly. He grins, spreading his legs slightly at the sight.

Dori is chastising Nori, who is watching the dwarves around him with a grin.

Bofur watches Kaia from around his pipe next to her, one of his legs shaking nervously, and Kaia can spot a slight tent in his trousers..

“Foods ready!” Bombur yells across the camp, and Kaia has never stood up so fast.

-

After dinner, Kaia kept to her bed roll. She sat cross legged on it, crushing up some lavender to add to her collection of medicinal herbs. Her brain is practically vibrating with memories of the events of this evening.

Fili was such a tease, looking at her with hungry eyes and displaying himself like that… damn that dwarf. It didn’t help that Kili had spent all of dinner making heart eyes at her, making her swoon and tug at the collar of her shirt.

Bofur kept making his jokes throughout, but his eyes lingered on hers longer than they did before, often travelling down her neck before he looked away with a blush. He was such a sweet dwarf, and there was something about him that made her want to jump his bones-

Dwalin had been the worst of them all. He was like a dwarf in heat, staring at her with half shut eyes and breathing heavily, even going as far as to adjust himself in front of her. The memory of it made her hands clench, wanting nothing more than to storm over to him where he was now and tease him, herself.

She really needed to get these thoughts in check.

Kaia was sure she would have been fine if the damned dwarves hadn’t started talking about how they’re all basically a bunch of sluts. Now all she wanted was to grab the first dwarf she sees and pull him down into the grass-

“You alright, lass?” Asked Balin, coming up to stand beside her.

Never mind, maybe the second dwarf she sees…

“I’m fine, Balin. A bit tired.” She smiles at him. He had become like a sort of father figure to her during these last few weeks, and he always had a kind word for her.

Balin offers her a warm smile.

“I’m not surprised lass. It’s been a long day for all of us.” He pats her shoulder. “The princes found a small lake nearby, and the dwarves are taking it in turns to have a quick wash. If you would much rather wait and go by yourself-”

“Yes please!” Kaia exclaimed, giddily. A wash was all she needed. Some cold water, and some time away from these pesky dwarves and the pheromones that came with them.

Balin chuckles at her eagerness. “Very good, lass. Ori and Nori are going next, I’ll tell them to let you know when they’re done.”

She smiles brightly at him, and he waves her goodnight.

Across the camp, Fili dries his hair while watching her. Catching her eye, he gives her a wink. She sticks her tongue out at him, and he smiles widely at her.

-

Half an hour later, Nori and Ori return. Kaia heads over and Ori helpfully points her in the direction of the lake. She thanks him and starts heading in the direction he pointed to.

The lake was not too far from the camp, but far enough that she embraced the quiet night ambience during the walk over, the Companies voices fading into nothing. She played with the braid in her hair as she walked, gently tugging it loose.

A twig snapping catches her attention.

Kaia stops, freezing in place. She reaches for her dagger which is usually sheathed at her side. Coming up short, she realises she left it behind.

Shit, she thinks. Another sound of crunching soil makes her spin around, eyes wide in fear. She grabs a stick from the ground and holds it up in defence.

Kili walks into her view, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Have mercy on me, please.” He chuckles, and Kaia breathes a sigh of relief.

“You scared me, you oaf!” She throws the stick at him, and he catches it. He smiles at her, shrugging.

“You’re getting better. I would have been able to sneak up on you with no trouble, a few weeks ago.”

“I’ve gotten used to you and your brother pulling shit, you’ve trained me well.”

They laugh, and Kili looks down at his feet, kicking a patch of dirt. The laughs die down, and he looks back into her eyes.

His eyes are so soft, her breath hitches. He opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again and swallows thickly.

“I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable before.” He says, suddenly. “Talking about… you know all of that lover… stuff…”

“It’s alright, Kee.” Kaia smiles softly. “Truly, it didn’t bother me. It just caught me off guard I guess…”

“Of course, that makes sense.” He scratches the back of his neck. He is blushing again. Practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking at anything but her.

“Are you okay?” She asks, taking a step towards him. Kili looks at her, dropping his hands to his side. He goes to say something, but seems to not find the words. He takes a step towards her, meeting her halfway.

“I just… the conversation before…” He starts, “It got me thinking… about you.”

“About me?”

“About how much I want you.”

Kaia gasps slightly. She was not surprised by this, his actions had proved he desired her in some way. But the rumble in his voice as he said it, the vulnerability in his eyes as he confessed this to her. It made her heart quicken in place.

“You want me?” She says quietly, staring into his eyes.

“Yes.” Kili reaches his hand out, dragging his ring finger over her cheek. Kaia’s skin breaks out in goosebumps where he traces his finger across her skin, dragging it over her lower lip.

In a moment of confidence, she kisses his finger. He freezes, looking down at her lips. Darting her tongue out, she licks the pad of his finger, emboldened by the lust in his dark eyes. Kaia drags her teeth over his finger, before taking it between her lips, sucking slightly.

Kili groans, swaying slightly. He presses himself closer to her, pressing his lips to her temple. She can feel his bulge pressing into her pelvis, and she moans into his neck. His other hand seizes her hip, grasping her like she was the only thing anchoring him, twisting his other hand in her hair. He pulled it slightly, bringing her head back and causing her to let out a breathy gasp.

He kissed her exposed neck, dragging his lips over her tender, flushed skin. She dragged a hand over his chest, finding his exposed neck and dragging her nails against the stubble across his jaw.

Groaning, Kili presses his hips against her again, gasping into her shoulder.

“Fuck, Kaia…” He breathes, holding her to him.

“Kili…” Kaia moans, tracing her other hand down his stomach, coming to rest against his tented trousers. Kili moans, extracting his head from her neck.

“Can I… can we….” Kili stutters, eyes clouded in lust. She bites her lip, looking around to make sure they were really alone. She rubs at his erection, and he gasps again.

“I need you.” Kaia says, and Kili grins, smashing his lips onto hers.

The kiss is messy and rushed, clashing teeth and tongues licking at each others. They grasp onto one another, hands caressing and grabbing anything they could find.

Kaia pushes Kili back, pressing him against a tree. Separating from the kiss, Kaia fumbles with the ties on his leather trousers. Kili breathes sharply in front of her, running his hands through her hair and across her face and neck.

Once his trousers are undone, she pulls them down to his knees, causing his cock to spring free. He’s long and thick, the head of him red and weeping. She bites her lip at the sight, and looks into his eyes.

Kili blushes in front of her, bringing his hands up to rest on the tree above him. He looks so innocent and loving as he watches her, submitting himself to her completely. She kisses him once more, taking his lower lip between her teeth and biting it gently, and he groans, his cock pulsing between them.

Unable to wait any longer, Kaia drops to her knees, dragging her hands over his muscled thighs. Above her, Kili drops his head against the tree behind him, exhaling shakily as Kaia nestles her head against his lower stomach.

Pulling her head back, Kaia darts her tongue out, licking a line along the underside of his dick. Kili gasps and shudders, the leather of his tunic groans as his digs his nails into the tree trunk.

Kaia takes the tip of him into her mouth, licking at him before sucking, creating a vacuum. One of Kili’s hands grasps onto her skull, clenching into her hair. She moans around his cock, sending vibrations through him, and his cock pulses in response.

She slides her head down further, taking as much of him into her mouth. She let her spit gather around his length, dragging her hand along the rest of him.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck..!” Kili gasps, breathing laboured as he tried to not cum immediately due to her actions.

Kaia smiles around him, dragging her head back and forth with renewed vigour, twisting her fist around him in tandem with her mouth. Kili thrusts slightly into her mouth, his hand in her hair guiding her movements as he gasped and groaned low in his throat.

Kaia looked up at him through her eyelashes, and was rewarded immediately for her care of him. He looked down her with blown out pupils, eyes half-lidded and and mouth opened as he took staggered breaths.

She reached further down and grasped onto his balls, rolling them in her hand. Kili let out a whine, throwing his head back.

“Stop… stop….” He mutters, pulling her head back from his shaft.

Kaia removes her mouth and hands immediately, wiping at the corner of her lips as she stood up.

“Kili? Oh gods, did I hurt you?! I’m so sorry-” She’s interrupted by his lips crashing onto hers, causing her to gasp into his mouth. He wraps his arms around her, kissing her deeply and hurriedly.

He pulls back, holding her close as he looks into her eyes. “I’m so close… I need… Please let me...” He begs so prettily, hands holding her waist in a vice like grip.

Kaia smiles wrapping an arm around his neck as she lowers herself to the ground.

Lying back, Kili hovers over her. His eyes are wide and he seems suddenly nervous, going to say something. Kaia presses her finger against his lips.

“Shh, baby. Let me take care of you.” She murmurs, dragging her hands over his chest. Kili groans, laying his body over hers.

He nuzzles his head into her neck, and Kaia runs her hands through his hair, causing another choked gasp to come from the younger Durin prince.

As he nuzzles and kisses at her neck, Kaia lifts her skirt, tugging at her undergarment until it was hanging around her foot. She lifted her legs and pressed them into his sides, and Kili moaned into her neck, feeling her warmth pressing against his waist.

Kili raises his head, looking into her eyes. A silent question rests on his face, asking for her permission once more. She smiles fondly at him, leaning up to kiss his nose.

“Fuck me, Kili.”

With a groan, kill reaches down between them, taking his unbearably hard cock and pressing the tip into her. Kaia was soaking, and the feel of her warmth just at the head makes Kili whine.

Pressing into her, his eyes roll back as she takes him to easily, practically dragging him in further. Kaia gasps and locks her legs around his waist, urging him to push into her. He does so eagerly, thrusting his hips into her, sheathing himself into her to the hilt.

They both groan at the feeling. He’s so large and thick, and she’s so tight and wet. Kili shudders, his head dropping to her chest as he begins thrusting into her, fast and sloppy.

“Kaia, fuck, I… I’m so close already…. fuck, you feel so good, so tight around me…” Kili murmurs, his words becoming incoherent as he moves faster.

Kaia reaches up into his hair, caressing him as his hips begin to stutter. He lifts his head, looking into her eyes. He’s completely blissed out, eyes full of pure ecstasy, but he looks to her in apology as he knows he’s about to reach is end.

Kaia smiles at him, a wide smile which melts Kili’s heart.

“Cum for me, sweetheart.” She whispers to him.

Kili gasps, and pushes his head into the junction between her neck and shoulder. His thrusts have become erratic, and he murmurs to her in Khuzdul as his hips slap against hers.

“Amrâlimê-” Kili chokes out, as he finishes. A low whine escapes him, filling her with his seed. Kaia moans at the feeling, keeping her legs wrapped around his as he spills himself, filling her up. He keeps moving, fucking into her until he becomes exhausted.

Collapsing onto her, Kili breathes heavily into her neck. Kaia runs her hands through his hair, soothing him as he comes down from his high.

He nuzzles her, speaking sweet words into her neck.

“So beautiful… you make me feel so good, ghivashel…” He murmurs, kissing along her collarbone. She smiles into his hair.

He pulls himself from her, causing her cunt to throb once again. He felt so good, and she was sure if he lasted a little longer she would have joined him in his orgasm. But, alas, such is life.

Kili looks up at her, his cheeks flushed and smiling wide. His forehead is covered in sweat, sticking his fringe to his face. She chuckles, combing her fingers through his hair.

He opens his mouth to speak, but is beaten to the punch…

“Well, what do we have here?”

Kaia squeaks in surprise at the new voice, and both she and Kili look over to find the source of the voice...

-

Thank you for reading!! The next chapter will be up soon!! If you can't wait, the first four chapters are up on my AO3 <3

Translations !!

Ghivashel – treasure of all treasures

[bethanydelleman]

The similarity between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings when it comes to Gandalf:

He has no real plan to complete the mission. He visits Rivendell. He takes a group of people across very dangerous parts of Middle Earth, only to be sidetracked by a greater evil part way through (the necromancer, the balrog). He insists on bringing hobbit(s) as if they are the solution to all problems.

Why does Frodo think Gandalf would have a plan on how to get into Mordor when he read The Hobbit and he should know that Gandalf led a different party to the Lonely Mountain without any idea of how to get rid of the dragon? Gandalf runs purely on vibes and somehow it works out for him.

[tanoraqui]

Tolkien Dragon Lore Headcanons Based on Little More than Vibes:

Much the way Orcs were made from Elves, Dragons were made from Ents. Morgoth never created, he twisted and corrupted. Beautiful lovers of light to ugly loathers of all but darkness...why not wooden-limbed, free-wandering nurturers of all growing things to fire-breathing, poison-spewing, hoarding despoilers? (But still, ironically, being naturally opposed to Dwarves!)

Dragons were made to fight Elves, and Men kind of catch them in a fateful blind spot. I’m actually taking this directly from The Starless Road (an incredible fic), and that may not be its originator. But surely it’s no coincidence that the only known dragon-slayers (Bard, Túrin, Eärendil) were Men or half-Men. It is believed that Morgoth began creating dragons after he gave up on defeating Elves using Orcs in roughly 155 FA. He knew about Men, but in an “already busy seducing them via dreams” way; it would be over 150 years before the first Men came to Beleriand and joined the fight against him.

Elves find it hard to fight Dragons because of the way Dragons are composed (musically-existentially). All of Arda is a piece of Music, right? Everything in it is made of some sort of notes, rhythm, melody? Now, I don’t buy the theory that Men have the Free Will(TM) to change the course of the Music but Elves (much less Maiar, etc) don’t. But I do believe Elves are more aware of and more easily influenced by the Great Song, whereas Men are walking through the world blithely ignorant of everything except maybe sometimes that a place has good or bad vibes. 

So I propose: when Morgoth made Dragons, he included in their Songs some chords of pure going to win this encounter. When Maiar face it, well, they do find it difficult to go against the chords of Eru’s Song...but this isn’t Eru’s, it’s Morgoth’s, and all Maiar are innate enough manipulators of Song to Sing back, no the fuck you won’t! When Men face it, they get a sense of dread and “oh shit, this is a tough one”, and not much more (unless specifically targeted). Hobbits I categorize with Men for this; Dwarves...between Men and Elves, perhaps, and made to be good at ignoring dark Songs when they must. But Elves get hit in this terrible sweet spot of being abruptly, horrendously aware that they Cannot Win This Fight and there’s little they can do about it...and going into anything with that mentality means you’re almost certainly right. You cannot win.

Maybe not, but worth considering: Dragons are made with some of Ungoliant’s Unlight, and it shows in their eyes the way Treelight does in Calaquendi eyes. That plus the above refrain of inevitable victory could be the source of their paralyzing hypnosis...but it requires Morgoth to have done experimental breeding with some of the essence of the spider8itch who nearly killed him, and he might be too much of a coward for that.

[izzytown]

okay so i had a request to redo my “the fellowship reacts to starbucks” post but with the company (and since this is my niche now, i’m here to provide!)

the premise is mostly the same as the other post, just my silly little headcanons on what the characters would drink at starbucks. i now present to you “the company reacts to starbucks coffee” (part 1/2)

i adore the hobbit, but even though I’ve read the book (and watched the films) a fair number of times, i’m much more well-versed with LOTR characters than i am with those from the hobbit, so bear with me.

note: will not be including gandalf as i’ve already included him in the fellowship’s post - pop over there if you’re curious!

thorin: the grumpy-ass prince himself need not trifle with complicated orders when going to the bux. in fact, i propose he only goes if he’s DRAGGED by his arms and legs by fili and kili during babysitting duty—he gets a dark roast pourover, regardless of what roast is brewed, just because he “respects coffee craft.” you will find him rolling his eyes whenever a frap is ordered, silently mumbling about how his local coffee shop under the lonely mountain is WAY better.

fili: the quieter, more thoughtful sibling, fili is hit or miss on caffeine. if he’s looking for something pretty caffeinated with flavor, i think he goes for an iced brown sugar, toffee nut latte. not too sweet, but very flavorful (just like his personality). if he ain’t feeling a lot of caffeine, he probably gets an iced black tea to have something to sip on while supervising kili's shenanigans. also, he gets a cheese danish as a little snack, it’s canon-

kili: this man is on crack. he’s a kid in a candy store when he walks into starbucks- first off, he gets a birthday cake pop EVERY time without fail (much to thorin’s bank account’s dismay). he’s okay with caffeine, but the taste of coffee is a little much for him, so he cycles through a strawberry açaí lemonade, a vanilla bean frap, a chocolate cookie crumble frap, or an iced chai with cold foam and caramel drizzle. just gallons of pure sugar in a 16oz “coffee” for this guy!

oin: now i know very little about oin, but what I do know is that he seems like he doesn’t give two shits about anyone (respectfully). to me, that sounds like someone who drinks an insane amount of espresso and could care less how long it takes to pull 8 shots. therefore, I propose he drinks a 6-8 shot espresso over ice in a venti cup, with a light splash of cream. the pedro pascal special!

gloin: dark roast is the only acceptable roast of coffee in gloin’s household, how else would gimli acquire his profound appreciation for coffee? gloin tends to go for heavier, powerful drinks, contrasting gimli’s love of a good 'ol cappuccino. gloin’s go-to if there’s no dark roast available is probably a hot black americano with a couple packets of raw sugar, keeping it classic while wanting a drink that packs a punch.

ori: this is the sweetest dwarf you ever did see, and i think his drinks reflect that. not only does he give the vibe of someone who doesn’t drink anything too caffeinated, but he also seems like he has drinks for every season. he’s happy to have a nice chai latte in the autumn, a decaf peppermint white mocha for winter, a peach tranquility tea with two honey packets during the spring, and probably a passion tea lemonade (sweetened with liquid cane) during the summer.

dori: he so slays. dori seems like a mom friend to me, rolling his eyes and being a responsible part of the company, so i’m gonna make the executive decision and say he probably gets a typical “mom” drink, which to me is an iced mocha (or black and white mocha) w/ no whip. or maybe a honey citrus mint tea if he’s feeling sick, trying to cut back on sugar (as if it’s any better for you Lmao)

part 2 is available here

[windmilltothestars]

No pressure to answer this if you find this second ask too much on my part, but I'm very interested in Laughing At Old Grief from the WIP ask, the quote being pretty much one of my favourite phrases ever :)

No worries at all! Happy to answer <3 "Laughing At Old Grief" was the title I gave to a story about Frodo and Faramir. As you probably know, it's based on something Faramir says to Frodo when he's saying goodbye to him in Ithilien - "if ever beyond hope we meet again" [he doesn't think it's likely they'll both survive to be able to meet again] they can talk more about the stuff they never got to talk about in their brief time together. And if by some miracle/eucatastrophe that time comes, we'll be able to think back on these troubled times we're going through now and laugh about them together. It's just . . . such a sweet sentiment, I thought! And thinking about how much Frodo and Faramir kinda of "got" each other and found kindred spirits in each other (my headcanon) . . . I wanted to write the story of them, later when they do meet again in Minas Tirith - finally having this talk!! It was gonna start in the Hallows where Faramir was mourning for Boromir, and Frodo was going to come to pay his respects to Boromir as well, acknowledging what he owed Boromir for looking after Merry and Pippin - to which Faramir assures him Merry and Pippin have well repaid that 'debt' by their services to Eowyn and himself, etc. Then they were going go out and sit in the sun and Frodo would remember Faramir's final farewell mentioning sitting in the sun, and then they would talk - about Gollum (what they planned to talk about), about how things turned out, Faramir was going to see how Frodo's insistence of taking Gollum had cause Frodo immense suffering but also saved them all . . . in the end, they were going to meet up with Eowyn, Beregond, Bergil, and the other hobbits and have a dinner together and raise their glasses to each other to acknowledge people who saved their lives. (Ie, Faramir raises a glass to Beregond, Beregond raises one to Pippin) and just end on a happy, high-spirited note of fellowship and celebration with only the slightest hints of melancholy peaking through??? Again, a mostly Pure Vibes fic, but based very specifically on something Frodo and Faramir actually discussed in canon. Thanks again for all your interest <3

[godsofhumanity]

What would the visual contrast between Asgard and Vanaheim be like, if they're featured in animated show? (colors, aesthetics, architectures, clothing styles, etc.)

I LOVE THIS QUESTION A LOT!!

ASGARD

immediately i think about wooden houses and halls, but with gold and silver in-laid in Nordic patterns. consider the "palace" of Rohan from the Lord of the Rings:

but of course; for the gods, i think they would have a MUCH larger, grander palace/kingdom.

and i think there would be these beautiful wooden sculptures of warriors and fighters all around the place. battle horns and swords and axes and stuff.

for the colours, im thinking: gold, brown, green... earth-y tones, like this (imagine some yellow in there!):

for the clothing style, i should mention weather; i fancy that Asgard is both a bit cold and a bit sunny. in winter, you're gonna need a fur coat, but in summer, you'll probably strip down a bit. for the majority of the time, i think it's that weather where you won’t sweat if you wear a jacket; like, it's just perfect.

so, i think a lot of the Asgardians have fur coats, or long capes. there's a lot of leather/animal hide

VANAHEIM

so, the most famous of the Vanir are Freyja and Freyr, and their dad Njord, right. and both Freyja and Freyr are very much associated with gold and sunshine and wealth-- so i think gold is very appropriate for Vanaheim's colour scheme. but i also think that white is a good colour to complement the gold for them.

the white, to me, is heavenly and pure, and entwined with gold, i think it looks very regal and clean-- and that's just how i imagine the Vanir to be.

i couldn't quite find exactly what i had in mind for their architecture, but consider something like this:

it's very white and clean... it's got a bit of a more "heavenly" feel to it than the rough, warmer vibes of the Asgardian kingdom.

so, colour palette-wise im thinking something like:

or maybe something like:

for clothing styles, i think all their armor is gold and maybe white gold too. think of the elves from the LOTR and Hobbit trilogies!

also, i think there is a lot more sunshine in Vanaheim.. it isn't very cold. people do not usually wear furs, but thinner tunics, and very flow-y dresses, etc. i always liked the idea of the Vanir being a bit vain aha that's not really based on any real evidence, it's just the vibe i get.

anyhoo,,, hope that answered your question!!!!!!!!

[rosetinted--clouds]

Tag game lunch break spree!!!

I was tagged by the lovely @rockingpeeble for both of these, thanks pooks <3

1. do you make your own bed?

yep, if all the beds are getting changed at the same time me and my mam will do it together just to make it easier on us both

2. favorite number?

5

3. what’s your job?

still on an unpaid museum placement for the next 9 days but after that i'm going back to my tour guide job for the summer

4. if you could go back to school, would you?

no. i'm currently finishing my masters and don't get me wrong I absolutely love learning but assignments kill me i have 2 assignments left and i can't wait to be free of them. i hate the judgement aspect of it all, sends my anxiety through the fucking roof.

5. can you parallel park?

i have never tried properly, i pick convenient spots that don't require reversing hehe

6. do you think aliens are real?

i'm sure we can't be alone in the universe, so yes?

7. can you drive a manual car?

yup, only ever driven manual

8. guilty pleasure?

over the top ghost/paranormal hunting shows, you know the one. It's so cringey and I love it

9. tattoos?

yes x5 and yes in the future

10. favorite color?

Green!! especially a dark, foresty, ivy green

11. favorite type of music?

spotify describes it as acoustic folk? basically if you could find it in a hobbit/lotr vibes playlist, that

12. do you like puzzles?

yeah, christmas tradition for me and my mam to do them together

13. favorite childhood sport?

swimming was the most enjoyable

14. do you talk to yourself?

eksdjg;k yes, I think parents thought i was genuinely losing it for a while

15. tea or coffee?

tea, then iced coffee, never hot coffee

16. first thing you wanted to be when you were growing up?

first thing i remember wanting to be was a vet

17. what movies do you adore?

lord of the rings trilogy!!!!!!!! those movies are pure magic to me, the amount of love and effort that went into making them shows, even now a quarter of a century on they look incredible and leave me feeling so warm and happy and in a flood of tears

second tag game - 5 songs you have on repeat

1. Sunlight - Hozier 2. Constellations - The Oh Hellos 3. Willow Tree March - The Paper kites 4. Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths 5. Meet Me In The Woods - Lord Huron

these were fun so thank you Rocki, I am going to pressurelessly tag @f1-disaster-bi @competitiveotter @no00000000 and anyone else who wants to share

[bondibee]

Who is your favorite actor and what’s your favorite movie they’re in? Sending 😴 vibes your way, hope you get some rest!

So fun fact I have really bad face blindness and thus have no idea who any actor is and it's kind of a running joke in my house that I don't know anyone lol-- I like a few actresses purely because I find them pretty, Gillian Anderson is my biggest celebrity crush and obviously I love her in x-files.

Uhhh also uhh Lee Pace is in some good stuff! Pushing daisies was a great show and I loved him as Thranduil in the hobbit. And didn't he also play some weird guy in a marvel movie once.....

Oh also Tilda Swinton because I am a lesbian. I don't know what she's in but I like looking at her.