#questioning aplspec

[allegoriesandepithets]

Large Pixel Size Questioning A-spec Flags

[PT: Large Pixel Size Questioning A-spec Flags]

Questioning Ace-spec ~ Questioning Aro-spec

Questioning Apl-spec ~ Questioning Aqp-spec

Questioning Analt-spec ~ Questioning Asen-spec ~ Questioning Anae-spec

Definition: One who isn’t sure if one is on the a- [attraction type] spectrum or not.

These also go by a-[attraction type]-allo-unsure (ex: ace-allo-unsure).

All flags are 3000x2000 pixels.

@tertiary-attraction-archive @orientation-archive @radiomogai @liom-archive @imoga-pride

[itsoktocallmegay]

Friendly reminder that aplatonics are queer. It’s so disheartening to see so much aphobia be directed towards aplatonics. The A includes all aspecs.

[foolishfynnesse]

Questioning whether I’m actually grayplatonic or if it’s just the AuDHD.

Lmao help /srs

[our-aplatonic-experience]

NOT HATE MAIL GENUINE QUESTION I JUST WORD THINGS WEIRD /GEN

do apl folk choose not to have friends? is it like the same spec of repulsed, neutral, open as aspec/arospec where some are repulsed by friendship, but others are neutral or open to it?? im so so sorry if these come off as rude, i love my friends very much so the idea of being aplatonic confuses me so i want to understand

yeah pretty much, some apl people hate the idea pf having friends, some are fine with it, and others (like me) like having friends! theres a lot in between those as well, its very similar to aro and ace.

[apl-culture-is]

Platonic-favourable Apl culture is constantly questioning if you are actually apl or if you are just a lonley allo

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[your-pal-nebula]

Question for aplatonic people (I'm sorry if this comes off as ignorant or rude somehow, I'm not aplatonic I'm just actually wondering)

Do you feel the desire to be friends with animals? Like, pets if you have any? It is just humans you're disinterested in or just all friends in general?

[felix-01000101]

Genuinely can't tell if I'm aplspec, or just depressed/neurodivergent.

I have always felt immensely lonely in my life. I was sure the reason for that was because I didn't have any people I'd consider friends. I was in friend groups, yes, but I'd always hear about people planning activities with their friends and going to cool places and I'd always feel so jealous, because no-one ever invites me to anything. At first I thought I wasn't being social enough, so I tried to force myself to be more social with my then friend group (which probably led to the drama that caused me to pretty much cut them off completely). I'm now in a completely different group of friends. We get along well, but if no-one's cracking jokes or engaging in conversation with my specific hyperfixation, it can be hard to have a decent interaction with them. Plus, I have the nagging feeling that none of them are ever going to actually be my true friends and if I open up about myself too much, they're just going to leave.

I'm not sure if any of that yap is evidence of me being aplspec, but I can say for sure that I don't really know what the concept of having a best friend is like, but I really long to have SOMEONE I'm close to. Anyone.

To be fair this is coming from the person who is unable to differentiate platonic and romantic attraction so

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

what does platonic attraction feel like? how do i know if im experiencing it? also is greyplatonic or even demiplatonic a thing? how do they work?

hey! mod amaranth here

i found a handy reddit ask that you can peruse for some more in detail answers, but the general consensus on what platonic attraction feels like is a warmth or excitement over being with someone that lacks certain hallmarks of romantic attraction. personally, it's an urge to spend more time with someone, but without the urge for it to be romantic (although i don't feel romantic attraction, so)

being aplatonic is spectrum just like other parts of the aspec! so, yes, grayplatonic and demiplatonic are existing labels :)) i myself nebulously identify as demiplatonic!!

hope this helps! <3

[entity56]

Can someone who uses a caedo- label say they still feel that attraction, but at a lesser level?

[shadowgirl-10]

chat i might be aplspec

[lovelessrage]

any advice for an aroallo whos questioning being on the aplatonic spectrum?

I think it depends on some specifics: there's a lot of ways to be aplatonic!

I'd say first off, it's good to evaluate YOUR personal experience with friendship, platonic attraction, and platonic love - how do you personally feel about it? It's easy to start off questioning by comparing yourself against others or trying to measure up, but I feel from personal experience it tends to prolong or confuse things. While goimg off the testimony for others can be useful for starting out, don't hold yourself to the standard you MUST be like them or you aren't aplatonic.

Second, consider what relationship you want to have going forward with friendship and other platonic things; just because you've been friending in the past doesn't mean that you have to continue to be friending in the future if you feel you're more comfortable that way. Every apl's experience will be completely different from the next, even if they look similar from a distance; if you still want to personally keep friends, of you're undecided, or if it depends on the day, this is all up to you.

Third, research is great, but don't feel beholden to walking the well-trodden path. If you feel specific labels or identities aren't quite right, don't force on a shoe that's uncomfortable to wear. Sometimes, ambiguity is a comfortable place to be!

Fourth, it's okay to be wrong! Never go into questioning with the idea this has to be permanently binding! Identity is fluid and hard to pinpoint sometimes. Letting go of the expectation of permanence can relieve a lot of stress on needing to make an often-thought-to-be permanent decision.

And, finally, it is COMPLETELY up to you who you tell or what you do with your identity. As with gender, sexuality, and other things, nobody is owed the details or disclosure of your aplspec identity. Only come out when you are safe in the company of safe people! It is very unfortunate, but it does happen where people come out to aplphobic people close to them because they feel obligated, and they end up hurt from it. If you are considering coming out, maybe ask the people you intend to come out to their opinions beforehand; try to obtain a snapshot of their opinions, and feel free to offer info if you have the energy. All this considered, you never have to tell anyone; it is never going to be a must. Be safe if you do, be safe if you don't.

[itsoktocallmegay]

(Please do not respond to this post if you don’t support any of what I discussed. Just block me.)

Ok, so I’m going to make a post about my abrospec questing because I’m trying to explore it but am having trouble figuring out what label fits me best. And, yes, I understand that I don’t have to use any specific label, I just want to look at what’s out there.

So, usually I feel like I’m on the multispectrum, and my romantic attraction is almost always mspec in some way, like bi, pan, poly or omni, or even just multiromantic, while my sexual attraction can fluctuate into the monospec spectrum as well, and sometimes I’m mostly sapphic or mostly achillean and have a connection to the terms lesbian and veldian. Usually I feel somewhere on the aroace spectrum and never feel fully alloromantic or allosexual. I also am fluid between aspec orientations, like demiaroace, repciroace, greyroace, cupiorose, and orchidrose.

My tertiary attractions are also usually aspec, except for my aesthetic attraction. I am very much alloaesthetic. My aesthetic attraction is actually stronger than most alloaesthetics tbh. Is there a label for really strong, queer aesthetic attraction, now that I’m mentioning it? My aesthetic attraction tends to fluctuate along with my sexual attraction but feels for on the pan-bi-omni spectrum. My other attractions tend to fluctuate between different aspec orientations, between pan and omni, and between sapphic and achillean.

My attraction can also fluctuate with my gender to be queer in some way, like nblm/mlm towards men or queer wlm towards men, nblnb, and nblm/wlw or queer mlw. I tend to feel same gender attraction though, but at times it does feel like queer different gender attraction. But, my attraction is always queer in some way.

[imanoddsweetthing]

Was asked who I missed the most out of my family.

I answered my ‘nephew’ cause I definitely think of him more than others. But I’m pretty sure it’s cause he’s child and I love kids so much. Probably wouldn’t be thinking about him at all if he was older.

It’s been four months since I left home and I don’t miss anyone. I don’t think about them at all. I reunited with my mom after three months apart and that was the only time I really missed a family member. But she’s here with me so I’m alright.

However, I like when my brothers call my mom. I never call them. Don’t really want to. They never call me. Don’t really want them to. Sometimes, I listen in the conversations. Sometimes, I talk to them. Sometimes, just knowing they’ve called is enough.

One of my brothers will be visiting soon. Though, I don’t miss him, I do look forward to seeing him.

I ask myself ‘If I never hear their voices or see their face again, would I be okay with it?’ and I don’t really know know the answer to that

[foolishfynnesse]

I am Once Again questioning whether I am on the aplatonic spectrum.

Earlier today I was just like, “I don’t need to know whether the term grayplatonic applies to me. I can just not claim the aplspec label and not claim the alloplatonic label either—that’s totally fine. I shouldn’t force myself to have a label that causes me distress.”

And now I’m like, “I must know. I have to know if I’m aplspec. I cannot rest until I’m sure.”

[our-aplatonic-experience]

im curious what is aplatonic?

little to no platonic attraction, similar to aromantic and asexual

[apl-culture-is]

Questioning Apl culture is doing a test-drive of friendship before admitting to being Apl bc I do not think I'm ready to grieve the fact that I won't ever have a best friend and be perceived as "normal"

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