#re the last part of this post though another reason i will never read the damian runs every time i see a stray panel of how bruce acts i'm j

[roobylavender]

another tangent to that but the funniest thing about the modern conflict and dynamic between bruce and talia is that if you wanted to pit them against each other in terms of parenting philosophies you could have done that just as easily going off of son of the demon alone. talia being an abusive mother is never something that should have been in the cards but her choice to prioritize bruce’s position as batman over the life they could have had together as parents of their child is something i think about a lot and generally talia is someone who was shown to criticize bruce when he let personal emotions and conflicts get in the way of honoring his duty. i could totally see her struggling to fulfill her role as a mother bc of how seriously she takes her ethical duty regardless of however much love she has for her child meanwhile bruce would take one look at an under-10 damian and be on the verge of dropping everything for him out of grief and severely emotionally clouded judgment bc that’s just who he is when it comes to his blorbos in dire straits 

[k-hippie]

BIG NOVEMBER THINGS & STUFF ... PART 1 ( K-505 UPDATE )

Hello fellows, be prepared to read, it's going to be a bit long :D

Hope you had a great Halloween ;) Some of you have noticed related download problems on our website ( We received a lot of messages about --> Thanks to all people who took time to send us a note about, it helped us )

We worked with BlueHost to reconfigure our databases <--- meaning hours with the hotline to push them hard to repair their unknown manipulations that give all the errors you encountered :/ Silly isn't it ?

It begins to be ok ... Not sure it's 100% but many errors seem to be repaired ... at last ! Crazy week indeed :)

MEANWHILE ...

MAJOR UPDATE incoming ... I finished the K-505 Base-game update <-- this is important because many things are encapsulated inside the Base-game files ! Unfortunately, Maxis modified some of these files and we were quite surprised to discover all the hidden changes ... A K-505 MAJOR UPDATE was so needed :) And it is done.

Beyond the files here and there, the most important thing of this update is the merge of Base-game + Seasons files all together.

In addition, we made complete K-505 updates for : Stranger Ville, Forgotten Hollow + a minor update for Sulani ( Island Living ) ...

ATTENTION : As we currently updating ALL the K-505, we re-arranged the Download Section ( a good thing anyway since BlueHost messed our databases ... :/ )

A word about the K-505 Mod ---> until Cottage Living : free doesn't mean free to steal, or use in house creation, photography posts, etc ... without crediting the tech-hippie / k-hippie team ...

We are watching. Always.

Another word related to terrains mods ---> after Cottage Living ... Even if we posted some words about, we receive numerous messages asking us to make this and that. It's OK. But let's be clear about :

We are not fond of the last 2/3/4 packs of EA for reasons of our own ...

We really though about enter in a Patreon model because we think our creations are worthing :) BUT, we dislike Patreon too for reasons of our own ...

We proposed for a long time a ko-fi/paypal volunteer system and believe me, very very very few are giving among 9000 followers. It's OK. We understand. We create too for our pleasure. BUT ...

When your priority is not ours, to make a junction, everyone should make an effort :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You use the K-505 for a long time now ? You know how it works ;) but you are always welcome to ask questions :D

You never used the K-505 but you want to have it ? Easy, put the k-505 files into your Mods folder and that's it :) If not, ask and we'll answer ;)

The K-505 Mod ( which is not really a Mod ) overrides only the graphic files of Maxis terrains, they are just DST images in .dds and so, they can only conflict with similar ID files from elsewhere.

K-505 Updated DOWNLOAD

Next Post : Discovering together the K-303 Mod and some new downloads.

Let the pixels be free and alive :) and Have Fun !

[fantastic-nonsense]

While you are digging into batfam lore, could you perhaps help explain what the batkids' legal names all are? Fanfiction has messed me all up. Did any of them actually legally take Wayne as their last name? I see it most often with Tim (i.e. Timothy Drake-Wayne) and Cass (i.e. Cassandra Wayne) but I haven't read any comics that I recall that actually called them that.

Sure! A quick rundown of who's actually part of the Wayne family:

Wayne family: Dick, Jason, Tim, and Cass were all legally adopted at one point or another in the post-Crisis universe (post-reboot is....complicated. Dick, Jason, and Tim are all once again adopted after a long series of retcons; Cass's status is still unknown). Damian is Bruce's biological son.

NOT Wayne family: Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, Helena Bertinelli, any members of the Fox family (Luke, Tam, Tiffany, Jace, etc), Harper Row, etc.

Duke is a complicated case; he was Bruce's temporary foster son for a year before moving in with his cousin Jay, who now has custody of him. He's...sort of considered Wayne family, in that at least Jason and Tim consider him to be sort of their brother, but he wasn't adopted and no longer lives with Bruce.

Other: Kate and Bette Kane, who are Bruce's cousins and part of the Kane family.

As for legal last names and who actually calls themselves Waynes:

Damian's legal last name is Wayne. The al Ghuls tend to call him "Damian al Ghul" when he's with them, but legally his last name is Wayne; it's also the name Damian goes by UNLESS he's specifically attempting to leverage the al Ghul name amongst his family or the League of Assassins.

Dick continues to go by and think of himself as "Richard John Grayson" even after being adopted, though he explicitly calls himself Bruce's adopted son in several arcs after his adoption happens. You can take your pick of reasons why this might be (and there's quite a few to choose from, mostly connected to Dick's love for his bio parents and already being an established adult when Bruce adopted him), but Grayson was and remains his legal last name.

Jason canonically remained "Jason Peter Todd" after his adoption, per his death certificate:

Jason's death certificate, naming him as "Jason Peter Todd." -Batman Annual #25 (2006)

He was also "Jason Todd" to the general public; it's what people call him when they talk about him both before and after his death. The Red Hood and the Outlaws Rebirth comic (specifically RHATO #33) confirms that this is the case in the post-Flashpoint universe as well. However, there's a pretty reasonable canon foundation to assume that had Jason's adoption not happened in the 80s and had writers not wanted to complicate things, he probably would have chosen to hyphenate and become Jason Todd-Wayne, based largely on a) Jason's relationship with Willis Todd and b) Bruce and Jason's relationship before his death.

We simply don't know what Cass did. Cass was adopted off-panel in the vague period in between Batman RIP and Final Crisis, but Bruce's death threw everything up into the air; Cass was then promptly put on a bus and shipped out to Hong Kong for the duration of the Reborn era, and since she shows up in a grand total of 8 comics during that time we just don't get enough information to make a judgement call about her last name. Her two appearances in Tim's Red Robin book still call her Cassandra Cain, but it's unclear whether Fabian Nicieza, the writer, even knew her adoption had happened:

"Cassandra Cain, former Batgirl, remains one of the most dangerous fighters on the planet..." /// "Cassandra Cain, aka The Black Bat, Hong Kong operative for Batman, Inc." -Red Robin #17 & #25

Since Cass never had much of a public identity to speak of in the first place (and for a long time didn't even want one), it's super ambiguous what her legal status is and what last name she holds post-adoption. It's pretty reasonable to assume she becomes Cassandra Wayne, though, and it's also my personal preference. Though her relationship with David Cain is complicated, she doesn't hold much attachment to him as a father; likewise, there's really no reason for her not to take on the Wayne name given her attachment to Bruce.

Tim is the complicated one here, mostly because his adoption was such A Production™. Tim was formally adopted about a year in-universe after the events of Identity Crisis (when Tim’s dad was killed by Captain Boomerang). The adoption was pretty high-profile; Tim and Bruce even sat for an interview about it:

From 2007-2011, he's called Tim Drake and Tim Wayne (and occasionally Tim Drake-Wayne) pretty interchangably depending on the writer and situation. His legal name is probably Tim Drake-Wayne, though it's actually ambiguous. He tends to go by Tim Wayne in public while usually referring to himself as Tim Drake in private:

"And by the way, it's Wayne when I want a favor or a table at Bartese, and it's Drake when I look in the mirror." -Red Robin #15

"A question for Mr. Wayne--" /// "Reporting live from the reopening of the Newton Community Gym where Tim Wayne is about to address the crowd." -Red Robin #14 and 15

Post-Flashpoint, that adoption was erased and Bruce and Tim’s relationship was very strained; in the Rebirth era, his adoption was implied to be canon again in both Tynion’s Detective Comics run and King's Batman run, but we didn’t get confirmation until Infinite Frontier and Urban Legends, where Tim is once again explicitly adopted and occasionally called Tim Wayne, though he still mostly goes by and is referred to as Tim Drake:

"But just to be clear--we're not splitting the bill, Tim Wayne." -Urban Legends #4

"...and then Mr. Wayne just adopted you? Awful generous of him." -Urban Legends #4

Tim is also the only one regularly referred to in public as "Bruce's adopted son." Most of the time they're referred to as "Bruce Wayne's wards," so whether the adoptions are public knowledge or not is questionable, but their status as his wards and foster kids is not. Though they largely never lived in the Manor at the same time, they've all attended various public functions as Bruce's kids and acted on Bruce's behalf in various capacities while in the public eye.

tl;dr Tim is canonically the only one who takes the last name "Wayne" upon being adopted; he generally continues to refer to himself as Tim Drake, but canon calls him "Tim Drake," "Tim Drake-Wayne," and "Tim Wayne" pretty interchangably afterwards. Dick doesn't change his name and canonically Jason didn't either, though you could make a case that he might have hyphenated had his adoption been written in the modern era. We don't see Cass enough after her adoption to know either way; however, her existing canon relationships with Bruce and her biological family heavily support and/or imply that she probably became Cassandra Wayne.

[cacodaemonia]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @flowerparrish! :D

How many works do you have on ao3? 213, but somewhere between like 85 and 100 of those are just images.

What’s your total ao3 word count? 1,049,952

What fandoms do you write for? Clone Wars

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Many of the top works are art-only, but if I sort through, looks like most of the fics are those that I have never reread or re-edited, so 😬

That’s Not How It Happened (This Is How It Happened) - My first fic, which I have re-edited since first posting it. Chip arc fix-it

Orbital Decay - Haven't touched this since I posted it. Codywan

Modulation - Also don't think I've re-edited this at all. Echo/Fives

Will You Walk With Me? - The only one of the top five that I care much about XD; Waxer and Boil (platonic or pre-relationship)

Kintsugi - Not re-edited. Codywan

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I love replying to comments with my usual unhinged yammering :D

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending You're Just Harder to See Than Most, but it's part of a larger series where the sad stuff in this gets better. As a stand-alone, though, it's very angsty 🙈

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hah, so many XD Maybe Count Every Beautiful Thing?

Do you get hate on fics? No, I've only gotten it for art, and thankfully AO3 isn't infested with pearl-clutching busybodies like Tumblr is, so I've only had one (honestly hilarious) hate comment there. It was on like the 6th chapter of a a very clearly tagged sketch dump in which several of the previous chapters were fairly explicit smut. And then on that last chapter, the person was like "Ew, they're brothers! This is disgusting." Hah, okay pal, seems like you were really enjoying it if you got to chapter 6. 🤣

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Sure do! Uh, a variety, I guess, though I suppose I haven't written anything that would be considered heavy kink?

Do you write crossovers? Nope

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, but I've had TONS of art stolen.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes!

What’s your all-time favorite ship? This is very hard to answer because I tend to latch onto ships for many years at a time. But no other characters before the clones ever inspired me to write fics, so I'll go with Waxer/Boil 🧡

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have an AU fic where the war ends shortly after Geonosis that I really want to write but can't make the brain go very well on it, for some reason. I have pages and pages of notes, some sketches, and like a chapter and a half drafted, but I keep getting stuck. I wouldn't say that I doubt I'll ever finish it, though. I probably just have to shake things around to knock loose whatever is gunked up.

What are your writing strengths? Maybe natural dialogue?

What are your writing weaknesses? I want to describe all the things. I want to put what I see in my head into your eyeballs. But I also tend to over-describe like, logistic-type stuff, I think—stuff that no one but me cares about XD

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Like a real language or a conlang? I don't know any of either well enough to include much of them in my fics, but when I use a bit of Ryl (which I've largely made up), I really limit it because I get annoyed when there's a ton of conlang in fics I'm trying to read. Scrolling to the end notes constantly is not very fun.

First fandom you wrote for? Clone Wars

Favorite fic you’ve written? Hmm, well I have a soft spot for Will You Walk With Me? but I think my two objectively best fics are My Heart's Red Muscle (78K Waxer/Boil cyborg AU) and We Could Breathe Underwater (5K Force-sensitive Waxer/Boil).

That was fun!

No-pressure tags: @lizardberries @elismor @valkeakuulas @blackkatmagic @amukmuk

And because I always long for a blank version of these tag things to copy/paste, just the questions below the cut:

How many works do you have on ao3?

What’s your total ao3 word count?

What fandoms do you write for?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Do you get hate on fics?

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Do you write crossovers?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

What are your writing strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

First fandom you wrote for?

Favorite fic you’ve written?

[primewritessmut]

7, 11, 17, 18, 19 distracting you despite it being against my best interests

The way this post was for everyone but you. 💀

7. Favorite Character To Write?

This is probably going to sound weird and very niche, but my favorite character to write is Gwen from every star for you. I was re-reading it today (bc it's bot infested and I had to go comment deleting) and I love an unapologetic, mean, awful woman that fucks. For this same reason, I also really enjoy writing Harley Quinn (even though I don't do it very often) and most of my original work has some flavor of unlikeable woman in it.

11. Have Any Sneak Peeks Of A Current WIP?

You are insatiable. And I even told you that story about my awful cat terrorizing the neighborhood in the middle of the night! But, since I wrote 1500 words on my cat!Loki wip yesterday... I'll give you some of that.

Very little of what Loki had learned about the TVA before deciding to come here had prepared him for seeing his own face on a screen. Parts of his own life, fast-forwarded and rewound like just another movie committed to celluloid film. The idea that all the choices he’s ever made are simply steps on a predetermined path. Or that there’s been someone walking those steps with him the entire time. At least a little.

He arches his back and yawns, stretching his legs out as far as he can until one paw lands lightly on Mobius’s back.

“Sorry,” he mumbles in his sleep, scooting further away from Loki’s sprawl across the surprisingly luxurious mattress.

Loki rolls over and stretches again, pressing both front paws harder against Mobius’s spine. The analyst scoots away a second time, giving Loki all the room a feral little cat might need, and falling off the edge of the bed with a heavy thud in the process.

“Ow. Shit.” Mobius rustles around on the floor for a minute, then exhales loudly. “I guess I can just sleep down here?”

Loki slinks up to the head of the bed and burrows into the soft down of both pillows, flopping onto his back and flicking his tail side to side since it’s the closest he can get to laughing.

17. Your Favorite Writing Conditions?

I assume we're talking ideal writing conditions? Not just the wet rag I manage to wring out every day?

My favorite place I've ever written was in a cabin on a cliff overlooking the ocean (spirit box vibes) in a place with shitty wifi and phone service. I've gotten to do this TWICE and it's incredible. I stayed there for three days making sure I always had drinks in multiples of three and bounced around between writing, napping, hiking, and doing other hobbies.

So those are my ideal conditions, I guess. A few days to decompress from life, then a few more days alone in a cabin where the paint has been worn thin by wind and sun and salt water, and I can just write whenever I want and I don't have to give a shit about anyone but me.

My headphones are probably there, too.

18. Favorite Writing Style To Read?

Ugh. I'm a simple lad and I like simple fair. I like books that are irreverent and show an author's sense of humor even if it doesn't seem like the genre for it. I also think my tastes run toward... bubblegum is the best word I can think of for it. I don't want to have to bring a machete into a book with me just to be able to understand a third of the plot.

And there's also a soft spot in my heart for author's that take you by the hand and walk you through the book, showing you the sights as you read and when you get to the end and you're looking at the sunset, they shove you off a cliff. Love a good "fuck you, bye", truly.

19. Last Thing You Read?

The actual last thing I read was the third chapter of spirit box as you know. Which I love every time I get to read it. 🚨 FIC REC ALERT EVERYONE 🚨

The last book I read was I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman which is sort of stuck in my brain like a splinter. It's one of those books where you read it and you're like, "Huh. I guess that's over." and then six days later you're in the shower and it hits you again and you feel like you're going to cry or throw up. It's really bleak and really human, and I think I'll be thinking about it a lot.

I have a couple books that are in the "just started" phase that I think I might DNF so I'm not mentioning them. But I'll probably tell you later so you don't waste your time.

x

[just-antithings]

Re: refrainbow (creator of the Boyfriends webtoon) saying the n-word. (Note, I'll be switching between he and they pronouns for refrainbow, since he uses both, I hope it doesn't end up confusing. Also, the bold is to help with reading (at least, it helps with my ADHD, but there's also a td;lr at the bottom as well))

I don't have screenshots or links, but it's been noted that refrainbow has admitted to having said it when he was younger and still learning English (mostly from the internet). They are Indonesian and did not know the history behind the slur. I'm not sure they even knew it was a slur until getting called out for it; from what I've seen, refrainbow thought it was English slang calling someone stupid or bad, due to learning it through I think gaming, where the n-word and other slurs were often thrown around liberally.

People ofc are valid being wary around refrainbow or anyone who's used the n-word or other slurs as general insults (or just saying them in general). No one is entitled to anyone's forgiveness.

One thing I've seen thought up, though, is people saying that refrainbow should have known anyway that the word was off-limits. One anti art-commentary youtuber said, "I knew as a little kid that it was a BAD word, that you just DO NOT say." And yes, as an American kid, I'm sure they were observant enough to realize that it was a horrible word, even if they did not automatically know the history of that word.

Refrainbow is NOT American. He was learning English mainly through the internet, iirc, and even if he was also taking formal English classes, there usually isn't a section on slurs in said language. Now, in my French class, part of the lesson plan was learning about racism north African and Middle Eastern people faced in France (a very compressed lesson; I barely remember what the teacher told us in that lecture). We were not told slurs and told "Do not, under any circumstances, say these words." If I'd been in an online gaming community with a bunch of French kids back then, there is every possibility I could have repeated slurs in French, not knowing they were slurs, if everyone around me were using them like general insults. I would have assumed it was slang first, not slurs.

As for why antis add refrainbow saying the n-word at the very end of a rant/call-out, this is a pretty common tactic that I've seen in call-out-type posts I end up coming across. Lots of buzzwords are used, many with the barest amount of "evidence" (if there is any, or if there is, it's usually worst-faith takes of some post or passage from a fic). Usually it's full of rhetoric meant to stoke people's anger or disgust, and then at the very end is a claim not mentioned in the bulk of the call-out/rant and usually a shorter sentence. It's usually something worse than what else has been stated and may or may not come with actual proof, and this last part might be actually true or true if you hide context around it.

I think there are two main reasons for this. One is that depending on how long the call-out/rant is, most people are more likely to pay attention to just the beginning and end parts, skimming over the rest. Placing "the worse/worst thing" at the end then makes sure people actually read it. Another reason (tied to the first reason) is that this last point is more likely to stick in people's memories this way, so if people only skimmed the rest, they're more likely to believe the other points are true, too, especially if that last point has evidence attached or is easily searched.

There's been a few call-outs in my fandom recently (some were technically responses to earlier call-outs, showing proof that the original people making their call-out posts were lying/twisting the truth), so whenever I find myself getting disgusted or upset, I make sure to go back and read it more closely (if the call-out is about someone I follow/a mutual; I don't have energy to read rants about people I've never heard of before).

td;lr: refrainbow did say the n-word before, he's apologized, explaining that he was still learning English at the time and didn't know how bad the word was, and using points like this at the bottom of a call-out post seems to be deliberate, so that people remember The Bad Thing about the person more clearly.

.

[theonethatyaks93]

Character Analysis: Pinky in Talladega Mice (+ a Bonus Mini-Analysis) (Day 6 of Pinky Week)

Hello everyone and welcome to another day of Pinky Week! Once again, I'd like to thank all those who continue to like and re-blog these posts; it truly means a lot to me that you all like these mini-analyses/essays and I plan on doing things like this quite frequently. Alright, that's enough of the sappy intro, let's get talking about today's topic.

4/5/23- Pinky in Talladega Mice- Commonly considered the best Pinky and The Brain segment of the reboot (and it's one of many people's favorite segments of the entire franchise), this really packs a massive punch when it comes to enjoyability, comedy, and legitimate character development. While not a complex episode by any means, it managed to create an interesting situation for both mice and Pinky gets a new layer added to his character. This piece was honestly something I never thought we'd see from the writers of this series considering it's pretty realistic. This is my analysis of this episode and the connections I found to my own life.

Explaining Pinky's Emotional Intelligence:

Brain seems like the character that would have anxiety, right? It makes sense; his troubled past, his control issues, his lack of self-confidence. This all could lead to a realistic situation where he breaks down. We've seen that before in episodes like "Welcome to the Jungle" from the spin-off, but it was almost always played for comedic effect or was just a one-off instance. However, much to the surprise of many, rather than choose Brain to be placed in a stressful situation, they team decided that they would give the stress to Pinky instead. While this seems like a completely inane idea at first since Pinky doesn't seem like the kind of mouse who'd have things like stress/anxiety, it managed to work so well. But why? Pinky always seems so happy and carefree; he'd never become so nervous or stressed to the point of having a panic attack. That's ridiculous! Well, the reason why it works so well is the fact that it's not a random thing the writers put in, it's actual character development and it shows a more vulnerable side to the mouse we've grown to love. You see, Pinky was an emotionally stable character for the most part. Yes, sometimes he cried for random reasons and could get angry, but he could keep his emotions in check. In segment "Happy Narfday", Pinky reacts to learning that Brain was using his birthday present to take over the world with only disappointment rather than outright sadness. It hits more considering it can be read that Pinky had an idea that this was going to happen, but yet he had hoped that it wouldn't. Pinky is a very emotionally intelligent character, though not many can see that. Unfortunately, even caring and seemingly strong people have their weakness. And this segment give us an idea of Pinky's.

Pinky has Anxiety/Stress:

When placed in the car, at first, thing seem ok. However, as the drive continues, Pinky begins to make more mistakes. Brain starts yelling and things go haywire as the car malfunctions and Pinky can't concentrate anymore. He starts to freak out and it's revealed that the car is run on the driver's stress level. It's up to Brain now to keep Pinky calm to survive the maze. It's something we've never seen before in the world of these characters: a panic attack. A realistic portrayal of anxiety in media is admirable (Puss in Boots: The Last Wish did this too), and we can now add Pinky and The Brain to that list. It's almost startling to see a usually so calm character so stressed out. These kinds of things though, such as driving a car for the first time and having someone yell at you can trigger these feelings (I should know because this happened to me!). Pinky must've been quite surprised at himself since he's never felt this level of anxiety before. His panic attacks have an almost uncanny level of realism to them with him doing things such as vigorously shaking, yelling over Brain, using negative self-talk, and even heavy breathing (which surprised me). It's very unusual to Pinky this unstable, but thankfully he has someone to talk to. One thing that's very pleasant about this episode is that Pinky talks to Brain about the problem. He calls his friend out about his yelling and Brain tries to keep his cool to prevent the both of them from meeting a grim demise. Brain even offers positive reinforcement to Pinky, though one nasty corner almost makes him lose his patience. Pinky is stressed again and asks Brain to talk to him in a baby voice. While Brain says no at first, when things escalate, he gives in. It's nice to see Brain adhere to Pinky's needs and it does distract Pinky for a while. But when the course takes a dangerous turn, Pinky needs impressions to keep him distracted. While Brain is reluctant, saying he's no good at impressions, he does cave eventually. This part, while seemingly just played for laughs, is actually kind of similar to ways some people cope with stress. Having someone talk to you (silly voice or not) or make you smile can be something that aids people in situations where anxiety is high. It manages to calm Pinky down for a while, thankfully. The next part is another thing that people can do to calm others down: make them laugh. Pinky and Brain engage in an adorable tickle fight which helps them down the next part of the maze. This part is so cute! We learn that Brain is ticklish, which in of itself is precious enough, and Brain, rather than get angry, actually participates. This calms Pinky down even more, though their car is smoking from the fire circle. Unfortunately, when they reach the end a little close to the deadline, Pinky becomes stressed again and begins to doubt that they'll make it. He then asks for Brain's hand to which the other mouse does so with only a little pushback considering they're in a life or death situation. Pinky then proceeds to suck on Brain's finger, and while this can be considered gross by some people, we've seen from other episodes that this is actually something that Pinky does to calm down. They manage to escape and Brain even says that he's willing to put Pinky's needs first, only to break that promise very quickly. The duo manage to escape the car before it explodes and return to the lab via balloon to prepare for tomorrow night. Pinky's ways of coping with stress are very realistic and it's cool how he communicates with Brain about how he feels. Sure, this segment is really funny, but it also manages to show a situation where Pinky displays a new part to his character. While this could be a character development episode for Brain as well, it more dives into Pinky when it comes to his emotions. Showing anxiety in modern-day media has a tendency to be hit-or-miss, but thankfully this proves a success. Giving a character a flaw is important and it's incredible that Pinky is able to be given a flaw that Brain helps him to overcome.

(Bonus!) Is Pinky Jealous in "All's Fair in Love and Door"?:

In the original draft of this episode, there was no doubt that Pinky was jealous of Brain and Julia's relationship. He spoke in a demeaning tone, gave various frustrated facial expressions, and got upset at Brain for not telling him about everything. However, in the final segment, most of these were cut, much to the fandom's dismay. Though, if you were to look below the surface, you may be able to see that these hints at jealousy weren't all erased. Granted they are more settle than they were before, but there are enough hints to justify Pinky's feelings. His reaction to seeing the picture of Brain and Julia and the moment when he calls Brain out about the entire simulation are definitely still laced with that jealous ideal. I also think that Pinky bringing up living with Brain at the dinner might be a not-so-settle way for him to push the fact that he believes that he and Brain are in a relationship and he wants Julia to know that. Though the ending does alleviate all those jealousy problems and it allows Pinky and Brain to prove their relationship is strong, that concept of Pinky envying Brain is still there, albeit in moderation. So, yeah. Pinky is hinted at being jealous of Brain, though the story was changed from the original premise and storyboard.

Conclusion: In season three of the reboot, Pinky was given more time to shine and show his feelings. From revealing his possible anxiety issues to showing that he might be jealous of Brain, these segments provided a lot of character development for Pinky. He still remains an emotionally stable character, but it's important that we learn more about him so we can relate to him. And these episodes prove this. Overall, Pinky's stress problems were portrayed with such realism and care and many people could definitely get a laugh and relate to him.

That's it! We're almost done with Pinky Week and then we move on to Brain Week!! Hooray!! I also figured out how to screen record on Hulu so I'll be making a Brinky compilation video, combining moments from seasons 1-3 to be posted here very soon! I'm excited! Next week is going to be very busy since I'm on break so I'll be uploading more frequently. Thursday's (or Friday's) post is going to be fun and is dedicated to the fandom. Can you guess what it is? The day the final post is released (Thursday) is your clue. Should be easy, right? Anyways thanks for reading! Have a great rest of your day!

[novantinuum]

(I thought tumblr had finally changed it so you can ask shit from a side blog. Arrrrrgh did I imagine it? Well this is fanfoolishness yet again regretting this being my goddamn main 😅)

Morganite - 45, 54

Tourmaline - 28, 35, 42

Jean - 22, 31

Thank youuu! Yeah ahah tumblr defo let you send in asks from side blogs before because I'm pretty sure I saw you celebrating this in a post once.

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS

_

I'm once again gonna provide a visual for all these OCs ahah. I think I'm gonna have to do that from now on out, it's fun and probably helpful to people reading 'em.

Morganite- (I am forever obsessed with this shit-eating grin sketch I did of her)

45- What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

I answered this one for Morganite on another ask, but I'm gonna give another, because she just has so much hate and disdain stored up in that gemstone, ahah-

I have a silly OC headcanon that half-Gem Jean Maverick ends up introducing the game of billiards to Gemkind at Little Homeschool. Well, a modified version of the game that's about scoring points for the most mathematically "sick AF" shots eventually ends up spreading like wildfire across the galaxy proper, and plenty of Morganite's lackeys are sucked into it, playing it constantly. Thus, she really, really fucking hates billiards. It's constantly distracting her troops from their duties. Yet another way that damned hybrid keeps thwarting her plans.

54- What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

Oh, absolutely fight.

With the circumstances she's lived through (a viscous war, a life partner defecting to join rebels, one's diamond being shattered and having to be re-assigned and rebuild one's reputation under a new leader-) she's easily paranoid, and always wide alert. You really do NOT want to sneak up on her, or spring anything unexpected.

_

Tourmaline- (rebel Tourmaline is soooo my scrunklie)

28- What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

Courtier era Tourmaline tells people that she wants to be seen as the most intelligent, knowledgeable Gem in the room. Tourmalines are like... the bookkeepers, the ones who actually WRITE the history- at their Diamonds' behest, of course- and so it is their duty to be in the Know about everything happening around them at all times.

In reality though, all Tourmaline really wants is to make people laugh. To enjoy lasting conversation. To make an impression. For so, so many years, other Gems only saw her as like... a tool, a means to access knowledge, just a living repository for facts, but she wants people to gravitate to her because of who she IS, not what she can give.

35- What is the smallest morally questionable choice they’ve made?

The SMALLEST morally questionable choice? Well... hmm. I mean, she was a strategist in a war, so there were plenty of BIG morally questionable choices... but small?

Hmm.

The reason why these memes are so fun is that sometimes they inspire me to pull shit right out of my ass on the spot. Anyways, one day Tourmaline was sharpening her sword in Bismuth's forge at her permission and accidentally like, broke one of her tools.

She never fessed up to it, and eventually one of Bismuth's weapon smith apprentices gets blamed for it instead.

42- If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

Hmm...

"Rejuvenated, But By Choice This Time: How To De-program Yourself From Gem Society In Ten Easy Steps"

It's a comedy TED Talk about her own experience in defecting from Homeworld and joining the Crystal Gems that also ends up tackling some Real and Raw topics lol. Probably a talk you'd see given as part of some evening programing at Little Homeschool.

_

Jean Maverick- (I still eternally love this lovely art my friend @cynthi-arts did for me of them)

22- What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

Eating food freely without having to scrounge over the nutrition labels to look at ingredients. Like damn, how do these people live?

The reason why is that Jean has a gluten intolerance- it's not... entirely so bad that it's a full-out allergy, but life is simply easier if they go to the effort of avoiding it as much as they can. This is a big reason why they always envied Gems growing up, in how they don't need to eat or drink or sleep to remain operational- just access to light.

Jean really wishes they weren't saddled down with this half-human bit a lot, suffice it to say. Surely everything would be sooo much easier if they were just a Gem. (So they believe.)

31- When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

In the wake of drastic events that come far later, Jean ends up saddled with guilt in how they handled their first encounter with Morganite. They feel that Little Homeworld and Beach City wouldn't have come under such fire if they had acted more decisively that day- poofed her, perhaps, instead of simply cornering her to be ultimately led off in the custody of Homeworld reform officers.

Their way of dealing with all this stress and the needless what-ifs is by completely wearing themself to the bone around the clock in the manhunt for Morganite after her vicious attack on Little Homeworld/Beach City. Jean simply cannot rest until this loose end is tied up completely, and they will absolutely face negative bodily repercussions due to this.

[cosmicjoke]

Sorry for spamming this stupid post of mine.  I had to make a few edits to it, and I suppose, since it’s so long and overblown like all my posts, it’s best to make it a separate meta from my other about Nicki and Lestat.  Anyway, if you saw this before, sorry for the re-post.  If not, sorry for the obsessive compulsive posting in general about these books lately, lol.  I guess if there’s one good thing I can take away from the AMC show (other than enjoying it on its own merit), it’s that it got me interested in reading the books again.  I’m almost done with “The Vampire Lestat”, and once I am, I’ll be moving on to “The Tale of the Body Thief”!  I’m excited about it, as I’ve never read past “Queen of the Damned”.  And even though I know some people have said they don’t particularly like it, I’m looking forward to it anyway, and delving into more analysis if I find anything interesting to say.  My tastes seem to deviate a lot of the time anyway, and I end up really liking things most other people don’t, so we’ll see.  Anyway, enough rambling.

“I never revealed to him half of my powers, and with reason, because he shrank in guilt and self-loathing from using even half of his own.”

Another thing I wanted to talk about as I’ve gone along in my re-read of “The Vampire Lestat”, is related to what Lestat says here about Louis and being afraid to show him his vampiric powers, and how that relates back to his experience with Nicki.  

In addition to Lestat fearing, because of Louis’ obvious disgust with himself and what he is, that if he shows Louis his own abilities, Louis will feel similar disgust for him, a large part of Lestat’s reluctance to teach Louis more about his new found powers and what Louis can do with them is, I think, because of what happened with Nicki, and what Nicki blamed Lestat for, and accused him of.

Because Lestat, rather than allowing Nicki to sink into the mire of his own negative feelings regarding his abilities as a violinist, tried to lift him up out of it, tried to encourage him and make him believe in himself and his chances at success if he only kept at it.  He tried to make Nicki believe in the value of what he was doing, in the capacity his music had for creating good.  And Nicki ended up blaming this encouragement, this refusal on Lestat’s part to let him fail, to let him wallow in his own misery and self-destructiveness, and succumb to his negative self-image, for his going mad.  Nicki made Lestat believe that it was his fault, by trying to help him up out of the darkness, for his eventually falling to it.

And I can’t help but think that Lestat must have, once again, feared that history was repeating itself with Louis.  That he must have remembered what happened with Nicki.  How the last person he loved, whom he also tried to help through encouragement and support of his abilities and talent, ended up going insane and killing himself.  And so, seeing Louis’ “guilt and self-loathing” over his vampiric abilities and nature, Lestat had to have been reluctant to step in and encourage Louis to embrace them, or to teach Louis how to use them properly, terrified that doing so would lead Louis down the same path Nicki ended up on.  We see here again the damage wrought on Lestat by Nicki’s mad accusations and blame, the way they continued to have ramifications for Lestat decades, even centuries later.  And that’s truly tragic.

This also ties into another point I wanted to make about Louis, and how Louis’ self-denial in many ways ended up unintentionally hurting Lestat.  Lestat’s lack of forthcoming knowledge to both Louis and Claudia, and how that contributed to things eventually going bad between them, gets talked about a lot in this fandom, and rightfully so.  But I think, for every instant of unintentional abuse Lestat engages in with Louis and Claudia, Louis engaged in just as much with Lestat, in a different way.  Claudia’s abuse of Lestat and Louis was, by contrast I think, very much intentional, but that’s a different topic.

Another quote from Lestat sums it up well, when he said about Louis:

“His blindness to the motives or the suffering of others was as much a part of his charm as his soft unkempt black hair or the eternally troubled expression in his green eyes.”

Louis ends up blaming Lestat, and feeling resentment towards Lestat, for not teaching him about his abilities as a vampire, and indeed we see later, when he meets Armand, that he discovers for the first time his ability to scale sheer walls, for example.  Louis convinces himself that his lack of knowledge in this area is Lestat’s fault, but I think in reality, it has more to do with Louis’ own lack of self-belief, born out of his sense of guilt for choosing to become what he is.  

Lestat, after all, had no one to guide him.  Magnus left him on the very night he made him.  And yet, by the very next night, Lestat was already testing the limits of and discovering his abilities, experimenting by engaging in physical feats which would be impossible for a mortal being.  He discovered he could climb sheer walls on the second night of his immortality, something which took Louis 75 years to figure out.

Louis convinces himself that his ignorance regarding his abilities is Lestat’s fault, but if he’d really wanted to, Louis could have begun testing and discovering his abilities all on his own from the start.  He let his own sense of guilt and self-disgust keep him from it though, a kind of self-imposed punishment for what he was and what he chose to be, and in turn, though I don’t at all think Louis meant to, he ended up hurting Lestat by holding him accountable for it and using that as fuel for his own, growing resentment, feeding the turmoil and increasingly constant fighting between them.  

And I think this manifests again in Louis convincing himself that Lestat was somehow keeping both him and Claudia hostage, that he couldn’t leave Lestat because he didn’t know the extent of Lestat’s powers and that made escaping impossible.  But, again, just like Louis, if he’d really wanted to, could have discovered the extent of his vampiric abilities on his own, he could have similarly taken Claudia and left Lestat any time he really wanted, and I think he also knew, deep down, that Lestat wouldn’t have stopped either of them, that he never really would have been able to hurt either of them.

Rather, I think, Louis’ inability to leave Lestat was born out of a secret desire to stay with him.  

Lestat talks about Louis omitting from his interview with Daniel all the good things between them in the 65 years they had together.  How they used to walk and talk together, how they used to hunt the riverfront taverns arm in arm, how they would act out Shakespeare together for Claudia, or how Louis came to him at times in anxiety, begging Lestat not to leave him.  

Louis convinces himself that it was Lestat keeping him tied to him and New Orleans, but in reality, I think it was Louis himself.  And just like with denying himself his vampiric powers out of guilt, it was Louis’ sense of guilt in loving Lestat, I think, that made him believe what he did about being a hostage.  It was only after he and Claudia seemingly kill Lestat and flee to Europe that an even greater sense of guilt begins to eat Louis alive, and he’s forced to have to begin acknowledging his actual feelings for Lestat.  But only begin, as he’s still clearly in denial about them when he gives his interview to Daniel.

Claudia was the one who wanted to genuinely get away.  She wanted to be free of BOTH Lestat and Louis, having developed a genuine hatred for them both over her being turned at such a young age,  and doubtless she would have just upped and left on her own if she could have.  But she needed one of them to take care of her, and I think she knew Louis, deep down, didn’t really want to leave.  But she could sense the weakness in Louis born from his guilt.  She knew she could easily manipulate that guilt over loving Lestat, play on it and reinforce this coping mechanism, this idea in Louis that they were being held against their will by Lestat, and in turn convince him to stand by and do nothing while she murdered him.  For Claudia, going back to what I said about her abuse being, in contrast to Lestat’s and Louis’, very much intentional, when she tells Louis she’ll enjoy killing Lestat, I think she absolutely means it.  It’s icing on the cake to her, that for her plan to work, to really convince Louis to take her and leave, Lestat needs to be gone, because otherwise, Louis simply won’t go.  Again, not because he can’t, but because he really doesn’t want to.

Louis’ self-denial here, once again, and to much more devastating consequences, ends up hurting Lestat, nearly getting him killed, and plunging him into a state of degradation, desperation and isolation that would last for more than 120 years.

Going back to what Lestat says about Louis being blind to the motivations and the suffering of others, I don’t think Louis was at all aware how his own sense of guilt, and the self-denial born out of it, impacted Lestat.  

[not-poignant]

😈 and ✨

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

I was about to say 'I'm not a playfully mean writer' by nature, and generally speaking, I don't see myself this way.

But then I remembered that I have absolutely done this.

There have been chapters I've posted where I've kind of cackled after pressing post, slid down the chair, slapped my hands over my face and gone 'OH NO THEY'RE GONNA HATE MEEEEEEE' and then kept cackling.

But it's not always for the storylines people think. There was nothing 'playfully mean' about the end of The Ice Plague for example. It all felt horribly serious, and I did not think 'haha everyone's gonna suffer' because I WAS IN THAT TOO. I was mostly like 'I hope people can last to the epilogue, because that epilogue will (ideally) make up for all of this.' And it's hard to describe that feeling, but it's not playful, and frankly, it's not fun until the story is over. (People who have read this will know what I'm talking about re: the last three chapters of the canon).

But I did feel this way during Efnisien's arc in Falling Falling Stars involving the Forest night-club and Augus. I can't say why I do for some very serious things that I know will impact people, and not others.

For the most part, I am not like... a playfully mean author. But every now and then I will make a decision because I know it feels crunchy and awful in me (and I know how to fix it with comfort), and so I know it will feel that way to the readers. Sometimes that's a serious choice. Sometimes it's a 'OH NO HAHAHAHA THEY'LL HATE MEEEE.'

It's never light-hearted though. Idk if playful is the right word. I never do it just because it's fun to watch people twist. I've never really understood that. It's always because it's right for the characters/story, and it will get us to where we need to go. It's one of the reasons I don't really like playfully mean comments (things like 'I hate you author my life is over after this chapter how dare you write something like this' do not read like compliments to me, they read like 'go find something else then' to me), because I just...don't really approach my writing that way, and I am not a playful or jokey person by nature.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it.

(I'm gonna do another one, because I can).

Over time, my writing has been able to earn the trust of some readers who don't normally read: WIPs, certain genres, certain types of BDSM, noncon, abuse, or certain themes. A common refrain I've gotten in comments are things like 'I don't like a/b/o but I really like how you're doing it' or 'I didn't know how you were going to pull this off, but I trusted you and it paid off' or 'this kink is squicky to me, but I'm so glad I read this scene.'

This kind of trust is so humbling and like...amazing when people take this leap. It started all the way back when people were like 'I didn't think I'd like a story with Augus in it but now he's a fave / I'm ride or die for him' after Into Shadows We Fall. And it's continued. That's like...something I never want to betray or let down (I'm not really a 'shock tactic writer' anyway, so it's not likely to happen tbh), like I'm sure not all of my stories will be winners to everyone - that's normal - but I do really love that someone who doesn't normally read WIPs can feel some trust in reading one of mine, because I've never not finished a long WIP, and I do it relatively fast in proportion to story length. It makes me happy, and it gives me something to aim for re: future stories.

Anyway it's just... idk, that my writing can earn that trust? *flails*

-

From the fandom meme!

[disaster-fruit]

Believe it or not, I am 27 and have just discovered ATLA and I have some questions. Is my feeling correct that most Zutara shippers are women/nonbinary folks and most Kataang shippers are, well, men. I just can’t help thinking how Kataang is written with such a male gaze in mind, while Zutara covers both perspectives. Anyways, I understand why the show ended with Kataang, I’ve read all the big metas, I understand that Bryke kind of sucks etc. etc. But I’m curious what you think about this perceived gender divide since you’ve definitely been around longer lol

Hello! I gotta say, i don't think i have a better perspective of the fandom to offer, since i haven't actually been part of the fandom since maybe 2012? and back then i was a literal child and i couldn't speak English so 'being in the fandom' was mostly just reblogging gifs and reading the zutara fics in brazilian ao3 of the time. I have watched and re-watched ATLA an unholy amount of times since then, and i have read and watched hours and hours of meta and theories and whatnot, but the fandom itself is not something i'm well acquainted with to give a good perspective on.

I do, however, love to talk and love receiving asks, so i guess you'll get my opinion anyway. And everyone knows i'm not usually concise.

First of all, are most zutara shippers women/non-binary and kat@ang shippers men? I don't know. I haven't been in the fandom and i haven't checked the bios of most posts i did see and interact, so i have no idea. The only kat@ang shipper i personally know is a friend of mine, who is a woman. So i won't speculate on whether or not your feeling is correct, perhaps a fandom veteran would be better equipped at answering it.

What i WILL say is that Kat@ang is, in my opinion, much more appealing from aang's perspective than from katara's. She's older than aang, in an age girls are absolutely not looking at younger boys that way, and doesn't show any interest in him romantically through the whole show, with the only exception that comes to mind being their dance on season 3 (easily their best moment imo), and then their kiss at the very last minute. All we know is that Aang likes Katara, and the other way around is open to interpretation at best.

One sentiment I've seen from kat@ang shippers is that they seem to really like aang and what him to be happy, and since he likes katara, they ship the two. That is all well and fine, we support people having fun with their ships for whatever reason here. That is however not a good enough motivation if you are, you know, the creators of a show who were supposed to have some duty to storytelling, themes, and cohesion. So them making kat@ng happen just so that aang could 'get the girl', despite all the ways that weakens an otherwise phenomenal story, is a bad choice that should be criticized. At the very least, in its execution.

So yeah i don't think its wrong to say there's a 'male viewpoint' to kat@ang as it was made in the show, though i wouldn't necessarily extend that to the kat@ng fans in the fandom since i don't know them, and it feels unfair to make that assumption. For all i know there is probably no shortage of amazing fics out there that explore their dynamic much better than the show did.

But though i can't speak for kat@ang fans, there is another group i've seen more often in my metas and video essays journey and talking to male friends throughout the years, what i'll call 'shipping neutral' men. You know the type, they love avatar, they'll spend hours and hours dissecting all the aspects of the story and the themes and the worldbuilding up UNTIL the topic is romance in the show. Then they'll wave it away dismissively saying the show 'was never about romance' and the crazy shippers are 'getting distracted' from the real story and how they just don't care about that aspect. And some of them will say they're fine with Kat@ng because it's canon (and no other reason), some wont have an opinion on any of the ships, except that they're not important and anyone who HAS an opinion on that is just silly.

And HERE i definitely see not only a gender divide but a sexist tendency to disregard romance as less important to any story, and not as an integral part that deserves care and deserves to be well interwoven with the rest of it. It's basically a stereotype now about how zutara fans have all these metas and analysis about how perfectly the ship fits the shows themes and how that would improve the writing (and yes, i agree with all of them) and that's because we know that romance is just as deserving as action, as worldbuildng and whatnot, and that it can be a powerful writing tool to enhance character and plot and themes, and that the way it is done it ATLA is not that. And i think these 'shipping neutral' men's analysis all fall short and even tend to not notice flaws in the story because they refuse to interact meaningfully with that aspect. Because as we all know, romance is for silly girls.

And being honest, i have much more respect for any kat@ang shipper of any gender that is out here being passionate about what they like, writing their fics and writing their own metas and having fun in a respectful way, than i have for men (and people who aren't men) with that dismissive attitude towards the romance arcs in the show.

That was a tangent! But damn i haven't answered an ask like this in a while and its always very fun. Hope i didn't offend anyone lol If its not clear i'm not a fan of ship wars, we stan having fun here. Buuut i also love debating and engaging with the story and that sometimes can get confrontational. There's definitely a space for 'ship discussion' or 'ship debate' that doesn't cross the line to 'ship war', i think that line is 'fun'. We're having fun, right? Discussing fandom and writing is fun, right?

Anyways hope this makes sense, sorry I didn't actually answer your question even though i talked THIS MUCH.

[midnightrings]

Ship Analysis: Remus & Tonks (Part 1)

Some time back when I’ve been writing a oneshot for Remus and Tonks, I thought about doing a quick analysis of their relationship. I finally found the time to do so – even though I don’t have the books with me right now (so I hope I remember everything correctly lmao). I don’t think I’ve ever done this but because this fandom is so big and they barely have any scenes together, I feel like canon, fanon and fan theories get confused a lot, so I thought it would be interesting (for me, at least) to just kinda look at what’s actually in the text and to try and interpret those parts.

Even though they don’t actually have that much content, I still split up the posts in two different ones, because I never know when to add read-more but also don’t want to disrupt anyone’s timeline with a long ass post. So the first post will cover OotP and HBP, the second one the last book and my final thoughts :)

Also, I basically already stated this before but just for clarification: when I mean ‘canon’ I’m talking about what’s actually in the books. All those extra information published outside of the books are just that: extra information, but not canon (for me, at least).

Order of the Phoenix

Tonks makes her first appearance during this book, and while her and Remus appear in several scenes together they hardly ever interact with one another. One of the few times they do is in the beginning of the book, when Remus introduces Tonks by her full name and she says her most recognizable line “Don’t call me Nymphadora”. The second one is a conversation they are having at Grimmauld Place, before Harry’s trial. They also carry Harry’s luggage together and get the kids back to Hogwarts after Christmas. It’s clear they don’t dislike each other, but there is not much more to their relationship. It could range from being mere colleagues to friends to even (secret) lovers.

I think it’s safe to say that their relationship wasn’t planned and most likely a last-minute decision as there would probably be more hints to the nature of said relationship otherwise. Which isn’t a bad thing btw, just an observation.

Half Blood Prince

Now, we get actually introduced to their relationship. Interestingly, they don’t interact with one another until the very end (actually interact less than they did in OotP, probably). Remus is on a mission, so we only see him appear a few times, and while we see Tonks more often, her character is written more like a red herring (that honestly wasn’t resolved/written that well imo).

Nonetheless, there are many hints towards their relationship throughout the book. When we meet Tonks for the first time here (and realize she isn’t doing too well, to put it lightly), she declines an invitation made by Molly, which also mentions Remus would be present, showing she has no interest in seeing him, at least not publically. Shortly afterwards, as the trio and Ginny discuss Tonks and her current state, Hermione talks about her suffering from survivors’ guilt and that apparently Remus has tried talking her out of it. How Hermione knows that remains a mystery but he was clearly mentioned on purpose here. However, there is no context on what that purpose was or when it happened. Perhaps it was simply made to show the reader that they are clearly close (prior to revealing how close), considering their relationship was not very defined during OotP.

Later on, we learn that Tonks’ Patronus has changed, which Snape teases her about. This was definitely written re: Tonks as a red herring, but I find it quite interesting that Snape (out of all people) knows what’s going on between them, so it's clearly not a secret. Obviously, we later learn that basically everyone in the Order knows, but I find it hard to believe that neither Ginny nor Hermione or even Ron know about it. Yeah, Harry is not very observant – though he does show quite an interest in Tonks throughout this book (for plot reasons, mainly) – but none of the others knowing feels a bit unlikely to me, tbh.

Anyways, at Christmas, Tonks is mentioned two times to Remus. One is by Harry re: her Patronus change, which Remus is clearly uncomfortable about. The other one is Molly, telling Remus (angrily) that Tonks declined her invitation. Two things I find interesting here: First, Tonks declined an invitation by Molly that involved Remus for a second time, showing that she’s probably been trying to avoid him. Second, Remus doesn’t really react to Molly’s ‘accusation’ but is uneasy around Harry’s question. Now, this is probably overanalyzing this lmao but I find it an odd choice writing wise to not have him react. Perhaps, he simply tries to block out Molly’s attempt to guilt trip him here (and is probably annoyed by it too, as I doubt that was the first time), but when Harry is mentioning the Patronus, he is essentially confronted with something that shows the genuineness of Tonks’ feelings for him.

Later, we meet Tonks in extreme distress at Hogwarts after she heard about a werewolf attack. Interestingly, she tried to reach Dumbledore (who wasn’t there), hinting that perhaps he has provided her with information about Remus’ whereabouts prior. It also shows how much Remus’ absence and mission are affecting her emotionally.

Eventually, we reach the hospital wing scene and their first interaction in this book. The scene reveals that Tonks’ character change had been due to Remus, because she was in love with him, but he rejected her. However, he did not reject her because he did not replicate her feelings, but because he was ‘too old’ (they have an around 10 years age gap), ‘too poor’ (he’s been unemployed for the majority of his life) and ‘too dangerous’ (he’s a werewolf). Tonks states that she does not care about any of this, and again seems in clear distress. Remus can’t look her in the eyes but everyone else seems to be on Tonks’ side (well, Arthur and McGonagall, as well as Molly, though not in this scene iirc). At the end of the book, they are shown to be together, as they are holding hands at Dumbeldore’s funeral, and Tonks has regained her metamorphic abilities. Both of those things – holding hands and Tonks regaining their powers – are obviously used to show they are in a relationship now without directly telling it, though it also hints at Tonks losing her powers due to Remus’ rejection.

So, there’s a bit to unpack here. First, Tonks’ emotional (and mental) state. She seems to be suffering from depression throughout the book, which can be seen through her change in personality, numbness as well as irritability. Hermione states in the beginning that she has been badly affected by Sirius’ death as she feels like she could’ve prevented it if she had won the fight against Bellatrix. She has a breakdown when she is unable to reach Remus after fearing he might be in danger, so his mission (and it’s danger as well as his absence, possibly) is affecting her emotionally as well. And last, we see her regain her metamorphic powers when Remus und her start dating, meaning that his rejection most likely fueled into all that as well.

What is also noticeable is that Tonks was clearly trying to avoid him, declining invitations by Molly on two different occasions. Why was never stated, though considering how she reacted when they were together in the hospital wing scene, perhaps she wanted to avoid any drama and/or knew how that might impact her (and everyone involved, considering guilt is often also a major part of depression) negatively. We do not know whether Remus was avoiding her too. He is on his mission throughout majority of the book. In the beginning, Hermione stated that he had tried talking to Tonks, but we obviously don’t know the context of it. The way Hermione talked about it means it probably happened after Tonks was already showing signs of depression, probably already losing her powers, but in what context of their relationship he tried to talk to her, we simply don’t know, so it could’ve been prior to him rejecting her. Later, at Christmas, after Molly said Tonks declined her invitation, she asks Remus if he talked to her recently, which he replied with by saying he had barely any contact to anyone. I think it is to some extent safe to assume that they have been avoiding each other, though Tonks perhaps more than Remus, and that they most likely have not talked to one another for almost a year.

Perhaps this could present one explanation on why Remus changed his mind in regards to dating Tonks. If he had rejected her several times throughout the year. Essentially, we see them argue and then the next time they are together they are holding hands, with no explanation whatsoever. If, however, he had rejected her and then they had not talked for months, that could explain why – now that he saw her again, and after probably missing her a lot – he would change his mind and start a relationship with her. The fact the he could not look her in the eyes adds onto that, as he probably had trouble pushing her away, and was most likely heartbroken (and possibly feeling guilty) at seeing her like this. A counter-argument here is however that Tonks states in the hospital scene that she has 'told him a million times' that she does not care about his arguments against the relationship. So they definitely had that discussion quite a few times before, though we do not know when.

Mainly I believe the reason he reconsidered was due to the war and Dumbledore’s death. The entire theme and setting for the rest of the book is basically ‘the calm before the storm’: They all know they are at war now, a war that is just getting started, and they won’t know who will survive and what will become of their world. Taking McGonagall’s words and their storyline in the last book into consideration, Remus probably just ignored his own doubts and worries for a moment because he realized they did not matter either way anymore (basically just said ‘fuck it, let’s do this’).

-> Part 2

[snek-panini]

I'm somewhat late posting this one, since I finished it a couple of weeks ago, but this was Binderary Book #3! A bind of Pray for Us, Icarus by Atalan. I'm not sure this fic needs any introduction from me, but suffice it to say that it's wonderful and involves retelling the events of canon with a memory loss twist. It's one of those fics that exists in undeniable conversation with canon; you can't really separate it from the canon without losing a lot of meaning. This fic is so good it gives me story hangover when I read it. It gets pretty angsty in parts but has a happy and totally satisfying ending.

I tried so many new things with this bind, and most of them came out really well! I'm a little in love with it. More pics and process talk below the cut!

One of the reasons I waited to post is because I never got a response from the author when I reached out about binding this one. That's only happened to me once before, and last time it was on an orphaned work so I expected it. Hopefully they don't mind that I've posted pics.

The cover on this one is faux leather. It was my first time working with it and I loved it. Feels really nice, looks beautiful, holds a fold well (this brand, anyway), and takes glue and embossing powder like a champ. The front has a 3D cutout that I made with layered sheets of thin cardboard, then covered over with leather and pressed into the corners. That's another first for me (my other cutouts were all 2-material windows) and I loved it so much I did it over again on my next bind (not done yet--pics are coming). I did press too hard and tear the material in one spot; the gilding around the title is there to cover that. The other issue I had was with the rose stamp on the front cover--turns out this stuff is way more slippery that I expected, and it got shifted while I was pressing it, trying to get the details to take.I didn't notice this until after using the heat gun, at which point it was too late to re-do it, so now I'm living with it. Not ideal, but we live and learn.

Top view, spine, and endpaper. The only design choice I made on this volume that I'm not nuts about is the blue endbands. They're...fine. But I didn't have one available that was better, and I haven't taken the leap into making my own yet. They're not that bad, I just don't love them.

Title on spine! This is another first, possible because of the material. The book cloth I usually use doesn't play nice with the embossing powder so I can't use it on the cloth spines that I usually prefer. But the faux leather works fine with it, so I went for it here.

Endpapers are scrapbook paper, a really nice shade of light green that didn't shop up well in the photos. Trust me, though--they look fabulous with the green ribbon bookmark and the brown leather. Rich and warm and lovely. The case on this fits really well, which is something I continue to struggle with. At first I thought it was too big again, but in hindsight I think it's perfect actually.

Interior shots! I...still need to up my game on the title pages. I did for the bind that came after this one. I find I like the box though. Keeping that.

The illustration next to the chapter title is a sprig of rosemary. Memory loss is a major theme in the story, and the quote "rosemary for remembrance" comes up prominently in the first chapter, so I thought it was appropriate. There are a lot of flowers and plants in this story, and I really wanted to feature all of them, but finding coordinating artwork of them all was too big of a challenge so only two made it in: the rosemary and the rose on the front cover. The rose was a rubber stamp and the rosemary was a free image I found online; all I did was resize it. The same image appears at the beginning of each chapter. I finally figured out how to prevent Word from making all my images blurry, so there will be more included artwork like this in future binds.

That's a wrap! I love this bind. Like a lot. I want to show it to everyone I know but I don't want to explain fanfiction to them so it's here. My next Binderary bind is almost done and will be shared in a few days, (it needs its cover attached and to be titled) and then I owe someone an author's copy before I launch into another fanbind. I already have plans for it though. Can't sit still too long.

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hello, I love your interpretations and I would like to know if you think that Grissom (when he talks to Cath) really thinks that Sara is happy when she leaves 08x08 without him. They are soulmaters , maybe he thinks about it at work, but grissom thinks she's happy without him?

hi, anon!

thank you for your kind words. <3

re: your question:

so it's not that grissom thinks sara is happy during the events of episode 08x08 "you kill me"—it's that he thinks that in time, she could be.

like.

make no mistake: not only had grissom already somewhat suspected that sara was not faring well even prior to the events of episode 08x07 "goodbye & good luck," but when she gives him that heartbreaking kiss and flees out of the lab in tears, he knows she's in crisis, a notion which is then undoubtedly even further confirmed to him once he reads her letter and is later able to speak to her on the phone and hear the anguish in her voice—one imagines she is probably crying pretty hard the first time she talks to him in the aftermath of her exit—as she apologizes to him for leaving and expresses fears of her own brokenness.

i mean.

for as emotionally obtuse as grissom can sometimes be, he can't miss all of those unmistakable signposts.

he knows his girl is in distress during the events of episode 08x07 "goodbye & good luck" and probably still is so even a week later, by the time the events of episode 08x08 "you kill me" are taking place.

he knows she's miserable.

he realizes she is in the midst of a major depressive episode and is likely suffering from ptsd in the wake of her abduction.

so it's not that he thinks she is at that moment happy.

rather, the reason why he says what he does to catherine is because he is holding out hope that even though sara is not happy at the moment, maybe in the future she can be again, and he is willing to do whatever is necessary—including for the moment keeping his distance from her—in order to make her so.

and here's where things get messy.

as i talk about in this post, during sara's s8 absence, there is a part of grissom that remains optimistic that if sara just takes some time away from the lab/vegas to clear her head, she will eventually recover enough that she will be able to return and resume living "the beautiful life" with him.

the facts that she is still in contact with him and is adamant that she still loves him and that her distress is nothing that he has caused all give him good reason to hope that maybe given some time and (temporary) distance, she'll be able to "get right."

he knows she has been through a lot not only over the last few months but throughout the course of her entire life.

maybe, he thinks, if she just steps back for a moment and gives herself a chance to heal—visiting her mother in san francisco and doing whatever else it is she needs to do—she'll be able to process that trauma in a way that she never has before. and, of course, he wishes he could be there to help her do so, but as she has explicitly told him she wants/needs to take these measures on her own, he is willing to respect her decision and stay in vegas while she's off processing things. he loves her enough to give her that latitude, if that's what she needs from him.

but, of course, the tricky thing is is that there is also another part of grissom—the fearful, pessimistic, self-loathing part—that can't help but worry that maybe the reason why sara needed to leave vegas (and him) in the first place was because he had already failed her so badly, and she knew she could never get better as long as he was around.

he has always carried this deep-seated, terrible concern within him that at some point sara might realize his inadequacies and eventually choose to cut ties with him, and he can't help but fear that maybe that time has finally come.

after all, doesn't everybody always tell him he's bad at the emotional stuff?

maybe if he had been a better, more supportive partner, she never would have sunk so deep into the depths of this depression to begin with. maybe even if she doesn't consciously realize as much yet, there is some subconscious part of her that recognizes that he cannot offer her the kind of emotional grounding she needs in order to work through her trauma. maybe he is too much of the world of darkness, and what she needs is light.

for as much as he wants to believe that she will just take a few weeks or months off from vegas, recuperate, and then return to resume their happy life together, he also can't help but wonder if maybe "life with him" and "happiness" are two things that will ultimately prove to be mutually exclusive for her.

and so he remains torn.

on the one hand, he feels as if maybe the door is still open for sara to return to him and for them to live happily ever after together. on the other hand, he feels as if maybe she'll never be happy as long as he is in the picture.

while when sara is present, her comportment around him is enough to convince him that she is actually very happy with him—i mean, just look at the way she lights up for him!—once she is gone, his doubts start to creep in, and his low self-esteem compels him to question whether or not she was actually so satisfied with him after all.

certainly, he doesn't want it to be true that sara cannot be happy while sharing a life with him.

but he also cannot help but worry that maybe such is the case.

and if it is, here is the heartbreaking thing: he's willing to let her go because he cares more about her happiness than he does about his own.

like.

he knows he can never be happy living a life without her, but if for whatever reason she cannot be happy living a life with him, then he will choose her happiness over his own, no question.

for those of you keeping track at home, this line of reasoning is the same one that eventually leads him to divorce her in s13, despite the fact that the last thing in the world he actually wants is to sever their ties.

so all of the above is to say that grissom doesn't think that sara at the moment is happy being away from him or even that her being away from him is necessarily requisite to her eventual happiness.

he just thinks that maybe it could be.

and if it is, then he is willing to allow her to walk away from him and pursue that happiness however she needs to, even if it means he will be miserable forever in her wake.

while of course he would prefer if they could be happy together—that's what he more than anything wants—he realizes that that outcome may not be possible. and if not, he'll accept whatever decisions she makes.

because that's the bottom line, just like he says: he just wants her to be happy, no matter what that happiness looks like, no matter how it's achieved, regardless of what it may mean for him personally.

of course, the ironic thing is, the whole time grissom is thinking along these lines, sara is over on her side thinking the exact same kinds of things with regards to him.

of course, the even more ironic thing is that the thing that would make both of them happiest is just being together, and if they would just talk to each other, they'd probably realize as much sooner rather than later.

dummies.

i mean, literally geniuses, but also dummies.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[castletown-cafe]

Been a month, hasn’t it? How’s the new year treating everybody so far?

I have plans to return to Castletown Café again. The reason things slowed was because weekly was overwhelming, which I learned over the summer, and even biweekly was a lot to keep up with, especially with food or drinks I never made before and needed time to experiment with. Once fall came I had to put it on the backburner, especially as I focus heavily on my main work, art, for spooky season all through the holiday season.

Those times of the year are out of the way, so it’s time to focus again on re-creating food from or inspired by Deltarune, and experimenting with ideas, and practicing things like bread or candy. (Candy is REALLY hard to make at home by the way - I swear I need a laboratory, professional equipment, and a well-experienced candy-maker to teach me the ways).

That’s not all though. I want to try another new thing this year: live gaming. Our current era of the internet is video-dominated - mainly by Tiktok. So much so that Instagram is favoring and pushing reels over images in order to compete, forcing artists like myself to have to make art posts into Tiktok-style reels (Thanks Tiktok, you ruined Instagram).

The reason I want to try live gaming is so that way I can use new mediums to create content and to engage with people in a new way. It can be fun watching people play a game, and I’ll enjoy the company as I search for that shiny Pokémon or build new islands and create another form of art in the virtual world.

I’m gonna be real, I’m pretty nervous about trying this new venture because I know technology has never been all that fond of me. Even after following the instructions to a T and doing everything right, something will still go wrong (either because the instructions/help overlook or don’t account for the tiny details that get in the way and I need every last little detail considered, or because the instructions are outdated). My frustration tolerance will be put to the test. Also, I’m not sure how my laptop will handle live gaming - having OBS and my Elgato capture card software gets it really hot, and in the past, doing live art streams also really heated it up! I got a brand new desk with cooling fans for it, so I’ll see if it can handle going live while streaming gameplay footage from my Switch. It’s all I have right now, unfortunately. I know a lot of streamers use two monitors, so I may need a dual-monitor PC. But we all have to start somewhere!

I know these announcements/updates are almost a month late. I’m just kinda worried I won’t ever actually act on or start these things. I’m tired of wanting to do something or getting an idea for something and then never actually getting to it because of anxiety or other interests/other things taking my attention. I seriously don’t understand what “apply yourself” even means….I don’t speak neurotypical I guess 😅 but I know that ADHD brain and anxiety brain are a big obstacle. I want to finally deliver on the ideas I want to do. And the things I mention or talk about making. Starting, or going back to it, is the hardest part.

If you have read all this, thanks! This was a really long post. I know there’s not a lot of people who’ll see this, but if you’re one of them, thank you for finding this. Any support, even if it’s just from one person, is greatly appreciated.

I hope to continue making content for this blog as well as venturing to new mediums this coming year.

[trappedward]

In a deep, dark forest

To begin this blog, I felt it only appropriate to address one of the topics that was the main reason I started this in the first place.

That's right baby we are starting off strong with Kikuo. It should be of no surprise then that Kikuo is my favourite artist, considering I partially dedicated this blog to him and my first post is about his latest song (that you were going to discover as you read on).

So, In a Deep, Dark Forest has finally been uploaded to Spotify after being teased on his Instagram and formally released 2 weeks ago! To be honest, it's felt way more like a month than 2 weeks but also my concept of time has been so fucked up recently. Regardless of that, let's move on to what I really want to say about this song.

(Feel free to give it a listen if you're a passerby or a fan that hasn't heard the song yet so you can gather your own opinions before reading mine)

Again, to no surprise, I LOVE THIS SONG. I never listen to songs on repeat, usually I'll put a few songs in between and then re-listen. HOWEVER I could not help but put it on repeat a few times when It released on Spotify just a little bit ago.

It's classic Kikuo; upbeat yet distorted tempo and whacky little sound effects if you listen carefully. It's why I love his music so much. I've rarely found music artists quite like him and every time I listen to his music, I either find something new or find that I listen to it differently than I last did - if that even makes sense?

But I'm not here to just summarise. After all, I've DEDICATED this blog to my interests. That means I'm doing this properly baby - I'm breaking down every aspect of THIS ONE SONG that I feel like talking about for my own sick pleasure. Ladies and gentlemen, let's properly start the blog.

QI XUAN

For this song Kikuo diverted from his usual use of Hatsune Miku and instead decided to use Qi Xuan as his vocalist. Now I'm fully aware that this is not the first time Kikuo has used Qi Xuan's or another Vocaloid's voice bank - he has dabbled with Stardust Infinity and his song ローディーローディー/ Roadie Roadie features Qi Xuan. I just felt the need to point this out because for the past few years we have seen KIKUOMIKU 1-6 so I was interested to see that he had tried something else for the first time in a while (aside from collabs with Si_ku and Hanatan, etc). Anyway... Qi xuan! I personally think her vocals were amazing for this song. Don't get me wrong, I adore Miku and I absolutely understand why she is one of the most liked vocaloids. She's always amazing for Kikuo's music. This time though Qi Xuan just seemed like a more obvious choice in hindsight. While her voice is still soft (just like Miku), it sounded a bit more lively in somes parts as opposed to Kikuo's Miku usually being pretty deadpan or emotionless. Qi's smooth, more exasperated vocal seems to fit the flowy aspects of this song and make it sound sort of like a tide. Drawing out and then back in. She just has a bit more emotion at parts idk... maybe I'm just way too used to the atypical Kikuo Miku that hearing something different feels more realistic in terms of making it sound like an actual person.

COVER ART

From what I understand from Kikuo's description on the youtube upload of this song, the artwork was a collaboration between him and Si_ku. Which like.... HELLO?! When was the last time Kikuo drew one of his own album or single covers? And to do a collab with his star artist Si_ku? MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN I say. I absolutely adore Si_ku and her artstyle and that she is constantly working with Kikuo. Having them work together to make the artwork is just... it's incredible to me. It's got the usual style of Si_ku mixed with that "grimeieness" that Kikuo usually exploits. I've stared at it for so long just looking at the intricate details and colours hidden within all the lines spewing out from the main subject. Imagining Kikuo and Si_ku in the same room making this is so cool to me and IDK MAN I'M JUST FAN-GIRLING SO HARD RN.

INSTAGRAM STORIES

I follow Kikuo on Instagram. As much as it is an annoyance to me, I use Instagram a lot (more than Twitter). Can you imagine my surprise when I saw Kikuo's icon at the top of my screen in the stories bar? The speed at which I clicked was that of mach 20. I. WAS. NOT. DISAPPOINTED. This is probably not the right spot for this segment of the blog but do I care? No. Anywayssss seeing his behind the scenes process and getting casual updates throughout the week was awesome. I've always enjoyed watching him deconstruct his process especially since he doesn't actually know anything about music theory. He just does whatever sounds good to him and it's so garbled but insanely interesting as he explains why he makes the choices he does, how it isn't based on any logic in regards to making music but because of some reason that is akin to his creative process. If that makes sense. I'm sorry if my speech is hard to understand because I'm multi-tasking atm and rereading my sentences doesn't always help me edit. Ok I digress for the millionth time. Kikuo's instagram stories were not something I thought he'd take interest in starting considering that he really just works at his own pace being the NPC he is. Not complaining though and I will happily eat my meal.

ENDING SEGMENT

I would love to continue but I have lost track of my thoughts because I had a 2 hour interval at one point when writing this because I got distracted ACK. I may do a part two but that is only if I can get my shit together and not have like 5 different people trying to message me at once (I'm grateful for all of you though FR). For anyone who somehow is interested in this or has made it to the end of this post, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me your thoughts on the topic / this song! I would love to discuss it even if only briefly in the notes. That's all, bye bye.