#really sorry for the dump lol i just always have a lot to say about everything all the time

[redbullgirly]

Can you do a Lewis Hamilton smau where she is basically like Barbie? I feel like since Barbie is a fashion icon and so is Lewis, it would be a match made in Heaven. I read your pinned post and tried to make a request based on your rules. Sorry if it isn’t good enough

HI BARBIE! HI KEN! [part 1, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x reader

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part2, LH44 smau]

Summary: Lewis Hamilton is part-time Formula One driver and full-time fashion icon. And so is his girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N, who's also known as a real life Barbie.

Warnings: None... but a lot of pink XD. Also this story is set in December 2023, so no broken hearts over Lewis going to Ferrari... actually maybe just a little teaser.

Author's Note: Hi Anon! This request is great and thank you so much for it, it definitely is good enough! :) I had fun writing and creating this, even though at the end it's kind of different than what I firstly intended to do. The original idea was to make Y/N very Barbie coded, but at the end I'd say she's Barbie inspired and I focused more on the fashion icon part of the request. Though there's a sweet storyline about why her nickname is Barbie, so I hope you won't be disappointed! :)

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lewishamilton A lot happened in 2023 season and there was also a lot of outfits 🤞🏾✨

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user1 MY GOD THIS MAN IS BEAUTIFUL!

yourusername this was definitely one of my favs 💝

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lewishamilton What can I say... pink is the color of real men 🫶🏾

yourusername but do i still wear it the best?

lewishamilton Of course ma'am

user2 I love them sm 😭

user3 can we talk about the fact they're the best couple ever?!

user4 so sweet🥰

user5 And the fact she's literally the only person he interacts with in the comments...

user6 You are the best Lewis, can't wait for another season 👏

user7 🔥❤️

mercedesamgf1 Did someone say Barbie and Ken?💘

user8 YES

user9 admin you're so real for this... they literally ARE our barbie and ken 🤭

user10 The only question is who is the Barbie and who's the Ken? xd

user11 lol imagine barbie lewis💀

user12 GOAT ⬆️♥️

carmenmmundt Me and goergerussell63 when?

gourgerussell I don't really think pink is my colour...😬

yourusername don't worry honey, if he won't wear pink w you i will 😘

carmenmmundt Oh I knew why you're my favourite Y/N 😘

georgerussell63 No wait I changed my mind darling!!

carmenmmundt Hmm now I'll have to think about it 🤔

georgerussell63 Y/NNNNN

yourusername 😌😚

user13 i love how he always manages to get y/n into his posts

user14 The power boyfriend Lewis has over me😩😩

user15 RIGHT?!

user16 he's just so... asdgsagfsgd 😫

user17 I literally need this version of him to live!!!

user18 i'm weak for bf lewis🥵

user19 Y/N looks SO GOOD in that coat

user20 I need to know how she does it

user21 fr

user22 The best driver and a fashion icon... damn he's got some talent 🙇‍♂️

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yourusername great season and now it'll be even better winter break w my love 💋💞

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f1 Our own Barbie🤩

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user1 yeeeees

user2 Wait I'm new in formula one, why do we call Lewis Hamilton's gf Babrie??

user3 idk user2 she just gives off the energy 😆

user4 Actually I think Lewis himself once called her Barbie in an interview when there were rumors about them dating and then it just stuck with her 🤷‍♀️

user5 oh really?!! tbh i had idea he ever called he barbie himself... y/n is just iconic xd

user6 IT'S Y/N'S WORLD AND WE'RE JUST LIVING IN IT 🗣🗣

lewishamilton Can't wait to spend the winter break with you ✨

yourusername *mwah*

user7 pls I'm so excited for them!!

user8 the vacation photo dumps are gonna slay🤭

alexandrasaintmleux stoppp you're so pretty!🎀

yourusername nooo you are alex 🥹🫶

user9 they could never make me hate these two just 'cause they're dating the hottest drivers on the grid🫡

user10 The outfit in the second photo? HELLO?!

kellypiquet 🤍

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charles_leclerc I see you like the Monaco circuit very much👀

yourusername i see you're stalking my photo dumps very carefully charles leclerc 🤨

charles_leclerc Well I have a feeling we'll see each other more often soon so I have to get to know you better😉

this comment has been deleted by charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc Caught in the crime😂

user11 WHAT WAS THAT CHARLES?!

user12 omg I wasn't the only one to see it? I'm not delusional right?🫣

user13 idk what you saw 'cause i didn't but this interaction is so funny to me XD

user14 mommy- sorry... MOTHER

user15 ❣️❣️

user16 y/n & lew >>>>

twitter

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yourusername i'm barbie. he's just a ken (and he won some trophy for p3 in the championship... idk where it is) 💖💄

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user1 I live for Lewis leaving the trophy there💀

user2 and the way y/n basically confirmed this by saying she has no idea where it is😭

lewishamilton You're everything. I'm just Ken 🙏🏾✨

yourusername exactly... though you're the best ken ever 💞

sebastianvettel Isn't he more like Allan then?

yourusername ohhh true seb 🤭

user3 YOU WANNA TELL ME THE SEBASTIAN VETTEL SAW BARBIE

yourusername yeah we made him watch it and he cried during gloria's speech 💓

sebastianvettel I'm not ashamed about it.

yourusername and that's why i love u seb 🫶

user4 why aren't all men like sebastian???😩

user5 I love these three with all my heart y'all don't understand

user6 my fav driver watching my fav movie and crying during speech about feminism is my roman empire

user7 AAAHSDFHFGSDHSG😍

f1 If there was a prize for fashion icons, the Hamilton household would definetly win it! 🏆

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user8 not admin calling them hamilton household🥹

user9 Lol that would be the only fairly given trophy this year

user10 OMG I just realized that one day Y/N and Lewis WILL be both HAMILTON😭😭

user11 I'll tattoo the date of their wedding on my arm fr

user12 that's real dedication user11 💀

user13 TRUE DEFINITION OF A QUEEN... LOVE YOUUUUUU

kellypiquet Gorgeous darling!💖💖💖

yourusername we both babeee 💖🫶

user14 the IT wags casually supporting each other

user15 I love they're still friends even though their bfs are probably the biggest rivals xd

user16 not the shade about the trophy💀

user17 Waiiittt what happened?

user18 someone who was at the ceremony said lewis gave him the prize 'cause he didn't want it😭

user17 Oh and Y/N wrote in her caption she doesn't know where it is?

user18 exactly😭

user17 Whoops... I love her, she's queen for that

user19 and the fact fia tried to deny these rumors💀

user20 Absolutely love this look 🤍

user21 you and lew are just such a good looking couple

user22 THE DRESS I REPEAT THE DRESS🥰

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lewishamilton 🇲🇨 with the best company.

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roscoelovescoco Mom's look's so handsome's ☺️☀️

liked by the author and yourusername

lewishamilton Agreed

yourusername awww my boys are too sweet 🥹💕

user1 lewis complimenting his gf not w one but TWO accounts makes my heart melt

liked by yourusername

user2 I want a man like him🤧

user3 WE LOVE ROSCOE CALLING HER MUM

user4 Lewis, Y/N & Roscoe are the best trio ever🥰

user5 parents and their son

user6 literally omg

yourusername wow who's that handsome boy laying on a couch 🥴😻

lewishamilton Handsome you say?😏

yourusername yeah, right next to u 🥰

lewishamilton Oh no, I should've seen that coming😒

roscoelovescoco Thank's mom's I'm handsome's boy's 😊👅

user7 these interactions give me the will to live

user8 I love the Hamilton family🥺

user9 lol y/n calling roscoe handsome xd

user10 The funniest part about this is that Lewis manages Roscoe's profile😭

user11 omg yes user10 not him playing being offended on his main and then being all sweet as roscoe...

user12 Love forever ❤️

user13 Y/N is so beautiful I can't believe my own eyes

user14 the two belong together forever 🙌🫶♾️💫

user15 fr

user16 If they ever break up I'll stop believing on love

mercedesamgf1 Mr. & Mrs. Mercedes

user17 pls give him decent car in 2024 to win another championship🙏

user18 The most iconic couple in history of motorsport 💅

user19 ❤️😍

user20 what's Ferrari doing in the likes?🤨

user21 lol calm down... he's literally lewis hamilton🤣

user22 No but it's weird... they never like other team's things

user23 and after the rumors during monaco gp too 🥸🥸

user24 I think this photo dump caused global warming... like daaammmnnn they're both so fine 🥵

user25 let's just say roscoe isn't the only one calling them mommy and daddy-

user26 lmao

user26 but true🫢

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yourusername barbie has a great day everyday... especially when she gets pink mercedes she wanted 🛍🤍

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lewishamilton Seems like Ken is good for something

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yourusername maybeeee

lewishamilton You want pink Ferrari too, don't you?

yourusername ☺️☺️

user1 ohhh to have a man like that

user2 OMG LEWIS PLS GET HER PINK FERRARI

user3 Yeah, Y/N will slay in that car😌

user4 i wanna be barbie too if she gets pink mercedes

user5 but first you'll need to have a ken like lewis hamilton

francisca.cgomes this barbie is so prettyyyy

yourusername love u! 💓

user6 Okay okay I NEED the bikini😫😍

user7 QUEEN

user8 Y/N looking gorgeous like always🫶🏼

user9 gold digger alert!!!!🤮

user10 Girl go away, you clearly know nothing about their relationship xd

user11 jealousy alert!!!

user12 the first pic does something to me 😩

user13 The most beautiful woman ever

user14 Lewis won lottery w her

user15 yes she's literally so pretty and they seem so happy together🥰

user16 fr I don't think I've seen him this happy before

user17 yeah he looks so much calmer and even younger when y/n is with him at event and gps...🥹

user18 Plus the OUTFITS?! I love them sm

user19 Where is Lewis 🙂?

user20 c'mmon he doesn't have to be in every post she makes🙄

user21 stunning as always 💘

user22 SLAYING AS ALWAYS

twitter

Y/N’s interview

photo 1: Y/N: How did you and Lewis meet?

Y/F/N: Oh, you guys'll love the story!

photo 2: Y/N: It was actually in a toy store. Lew was there with his niece and I was there because... [laughs] Let's say I still like to collect dolls and lego, sue me.

photo 3: Y/N: Anyway, Lew's niece saw me, thought I'm a real life Barbie and wanted to say hi. [laughs] It was honestly so sweet that I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm just a normal girl.

photo 4: Y/F/N: So does she still think you're Barbie? [laughs]

Y/N: Yeah, I think so... She calls me Auntie Barbie! [laughs too]

photo 5: Y/N: But back to Lewis - I didn't recognize him and just thought he's really cute. We talked for few minutes, though then I had to leave and didn't have the courage to ask for his number.

photo 6: Y/N: But few days later he followed me on Instagram and I was just like - yes!

Lewis’ interview

Interviewer: Lewis, you recently followed a known influencer and model on Instagram. Is there something going on between the two of you?

Lewis: Are you talking about Barbie? Oh, shoot, sorry... [laughs] I mean Y/N?

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yourusername aesthetic life w the best man, cute son and lots of flowers 🌸💖

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roscoelovescoco I got's mom's the's flowers's 😊🌷

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yourusername thx roscoe baby!! 🫶 guess daddy will have to learn from you 😌🤍

user1 ... are we gonna talk about the fact y/n just called lewis daddy?

yourusername ... no please don't, you know what i meant 😭🙈

user2 Too late Y/N, the twitter girlies are going to go nuts about this (me included)

landonorris Awww look at that grumpy little dude 🥺

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pierregasly Mate are you calling the seven world time champion grumpy little dude?🤣

user3 lando tf-

user4 This is so funny for no reason😭

user5 Lewis being called grumpy little dude wasn't what I expected from this winter break tbh

landonorris ROSCOE

landonorris I WAS TALKING ABOUT ROSCOE GUYS

user6 💀💀

pierregasly Lol

yourusername why did you even think it was about lewis peirregasly ??🧐

landonorris YEAH MR. TRIPOD TELL US

pierregasly Goodbye...👋

user7 u and lew are so sweet

user8 MOTHER IS MOTHERING 😍

alexandrasaintmleux Shining like a star✨💖

yourusername and you're my sun ☀️💖

user9 I want a man who gives me so many flowers!!!

user10 yeah and they're beautiful and tasteful too

lewishamilton So lucky to have you darling! 🫧🫶🏾

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yourusername we're both so lucky lew 💗🫶

user11 and i'm lucky i was born in the same century as you so i can witness this love

user12 I LOVE Y/N & LEWIS🥰

user13 I'll ask again... When is he going to put a ring on it? 💍 C'mon Lewis you obviously love her sm

user14 Your guys love is so special ❤️

user15 if this is the content we'll be getting during winter break, i don't think i want it to end

user16 races are great... but boyfriend material lewis hamilton is better🤤

user17 REAL

THE END

Author's Note: Hi and thank you for reading! I'll be glad for likes, reblogs, comments, follows and any other ways of support. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT PART 2! I really enjoyed this version of Lewis and Y/N... and perhaps I have a lot of pictures that unfortunately didn't make it to the story because picture limit isn't very friendly. Love you and have a great day! :)

[islandofsages]

Hey, I wanted to ask for the housewardens with a male!reader from their dorm that have the same name as the Seven's sidekicks (?).

Example : Cerberus for Idia, Diaval for Malleus, FlotSam for Azul, ect...

And people (*cough* Yuu *cough*) always compared the reader with the housewarden and always say things like : "oh yeah, the new Diaval and the new Maleficent.." *looking at Reader and Malleus talking about Briar Valley.*

characters: the housewardens x male reader

tags: platonic, fluff + crack, imagines + scenario format; yuu is there, mentions of ruggie and jack in leona's, mentions of the leech twins in azul's, mentions of jamil in kalim's, mentions of ortho in idia's, mentions of sebek in malleus'

warnings: nothing

author's notes: i tried to choose characters that aren't already inspirations for the characters in the game so some of them end up being from the second movie and stuff LOL sorry if this isnt what you want anon but honestly i did have a lot of fun writing this

Riddle Rosehearts — The King of Hearts

You’re not sure why and how but you’re dubbed as The King of Hearts of your dorm, alongside Riddle who is the Queen

Unsure of what to make of this, you ignore it and continue to devote yourself to the Queen just as any normal person would sorry this is kinda satire

Riddle is simply your friend. You cherish him a lot and you respect him and his beliefs. Even when he overblotted, your faith in him is unwavering

Speaking of the overblot, after the whole catastrophe, you’ve grown a lot closer with the other card soldiers, along with the magicless kid named Yuu and their pet (Grim was his name?)

They would greet you from time to time, stop by to have a chat when they’re free and check up on the dorm

One day, they made an offhand comment about you and Riddle

“You guys are paving the way for the new generation of the Queen of Hearts and the King of Hearts. Though, I guess the King of Hearts didn’t really do anything anyway.”

First of all, what the hell are you talking about?

Second of all, you’d say you contribute much to the dorm. For Yuu to assume such a thing for you simply because some “past King of Hearts” didn’t do so is ridiculous

You don’t voice these things out loud and shrug it off as them saying random things again, or making some kind of reference you don’t get

And because, third of all, you realize they broke rule 228: they definitely picked a rose in your garden. So you go to kick them out before Riddle could find out.

All in the day’s work for the King of Hearts.

Leona Kingscholar — Zira

You could say you and Leona are tight - maybe not Ruggie and Leona tight, but almost

And part of that can be attributed to the fact that you may or may not idolize Leona. But hey, it’s not strange. If Jack can do it, why can’t you? At least it’s not on Sebek’s level

Plus, you deserve to have some pride in yourself for being one of the only people Leona confidently calls a friend of his

Though, one person has been persistent about being Leona’s friend - Yuu, the person who just spawned out of nowhere apparently

You’d catch them talking to Leona sometimes and to be frank, there are times where Leona is less annoyed than usual at their presence

One day in particular, the three of you are hanging around Savanaclaw’s lounge, when Yuu drops a bombshell

“Ah yes, of course, you two are exactly like Scar and his creepily-devout follower, Zira.”

??? Yes, Zira is (a variation) of your name but you wouldn’t call yourself “creepily-devout”. Also, who even is Scar?

Leona’s ears twitch in annoyance, either because he doesn’t understand what Yuu means or that he’s put off by their phrasing

You sit in silence, deciding if this is a topic worth asking more about or not

Curiosity gets the best of you - you ask them. They basically dump all the information they could onto you

Yeah, you still don’t get it. But whoever this other Zira is, they’re kinda cool honestly.

Azul Ashengrotto — Morgan(a)

A lot of people consider you one of Azul’s henchmen alongside Jade and Floyd - God forbid working to the bone every day for the Mostro Lounge, right?

But you don’t take it as an insult. It’s no compliment to be so loyal to such a capitalistic bastard (said affectionately) but it’s just another part of your life

Plus. You’re friends with the dude. His cunning nature is what you’re here for

Maybe sometimes you feel a little inferior to him since everyone lauds him as some powerful mage but you tell yourself you don’t need such prestige

Though even outside of work, sometimes you see that Yuu person loiter around the Mostro Lounge in search of Azul (and the Leech siblings occasionally)

So you decide to sit down with them one day and have a nice little chat when-

“So you’re the Morgana dude right? You definitely give off the vibes. Let me guess: you have a love-hate relationship with your stronger, superior boss?”

You have to do a double take at what they just spouted - where are these assumptions coming from suddenly?

Also your name is Morgan.

They laugh and assure you it’s only a joke and a reference to a movie they like since Azul and you have an uncanny resemblance to the characters in that movie

Even still, you can’t help but feel confused… no way they just go up to people and reference things they enjoy right…?

You try to work on your vibes starting the very next day.

Kalim Al-Asim — Aladdin

You’re somewhat of an enabler for Kalim’s party animal and reckless tendencies which Jamil doesn’t really appreciate but also you don’t give a shit

Who can say no to free food and music? Well, a specific amount of people but you’re definitely not one of them

Kalim is friends with everyone; or rather, he considers everyone a friend and that considerately counts you too

But you two really are though - after the party’s died down, the two of you would chat late into the night about everything and anything. And it works because he’s such a good listener

At one of his many parties, the Yuu person who’s apparently from another world comes to party along with you

And so you eat and dance as one usually would under Kalim’s rule, learning bits of information about Yuu along the way

As per usual, the party dies down so you, Kalim and Yuu take the chance to relax and have a concrete conversation

At some point, Yuu comments on your name (and apparent namesake…?)

“Wait, so your name is Aladdin? Like the thief guy who fell in love with the Sultan’s daughter? Feels kinda weird since Kalim kinda reminds me of the Sultan himself…”

Well, yes, your name is Aladdin although you just tell people to call you Ali but everything else they just said is completely false

You all laugh it off because the mood is appropriate for an elaborate joke as such but the next day, when you think over the whole interaction, you have to wonder what was going on through their head at the time

You make a mental note to see if you’ll ever fall in love with a sultan’s daughter.

Vil Schoenheit — Raven

You’re a little intimidated by Vil but you have as much respect for him as anyone does

And somehow, you manage to gain his respect too, though you are a mere spudling…

You try not to let it get to your head (especially considering he has more respect for some other spuds than you) but it’s no easy feat to get a compliment from Vil Schoenheit himself

One person in particular has been getting a lot of attention from Vil lately, you’ve noticed

This Yuu person has been stopping by Pomefiore a lot lately, ever since the weird invasion at school where a bunch of robot people broke into the school grounds

You don’t question it because they’ve been interacting with Vil since the VDC but the thing is Yuu has been trying to get to know more of the dorm members

And one day, they get to you finally

They seem normal enough once you two sit down to chat in the lounge—

“Hm, so your name is Raven? I think I vaguely remember a raven being in Snow White…”

You have no idea what that means and before you could change the topic yourself, Yuu dismisses it; but then the next day, when you were thinking about the exchange again, you get curious as to what a Snow White is 

So you start to scour the Internet for this “Snow White” and it manages to consume you for a few days until Yuu tells you that it’s just a movie from their world

You don’t talk to them for a few days.

Idia Shroud — Meg

You and the Shroud brothers are more like frenemies than anything - you three banter like old friends who know too much about each other

Other than Ortho, Idia does ask you for some favors a lot and you like joking that he’s drowning in debt when it comes to you

Sometimes he pays back by gaming with you, sometimes he pays with actual money. Good money at that. You don’t complain either way

One day you run another favor for him (which he promises more good money for) to send some stuff to Ramshackle

A person named Yuu and their only other dorm member Grim had sent stuff to Idia for repairing and maintenance - not that you care about the details. You’re just gonna get it over with

Once you reach their dorm, the first thing you’re met with are the two dorm members bickering over something. You chuckle; it reminds you of your conversations with Idia

You excuse yourself for interrupting and go to drop off their things on the table in the middle of the lounge

They stop bickering then and Yuu greets you momentarily before muttering something under their breath

“Of course the new Meg to the new Hades dropped off our stuff.”

You assume they don’t know that you heard what they said and quite frankly you don’t want to care much but you admit you’re a bit curious of what they mean

When you get back to Idia, you ask him to decipher that cryptic message

He admits he has no idea what they mean by that, simply tells you not to think about it and pays you with some good old cash - and some fun gaming time so you forget all about it later anyway.

Malleus Draconia — Diaval

You are one of Malleus’ loyal retainers - you were bestowed the honor of being his “wings” even whatever that means

But Malleus sees you as an equal almost. You are no servant and you have your own wings to tend to; it’s the stuff that would move Sebek to tears

You do see him as a friend mostly, even if at first you started doing so out of pity

But now you see him making more friends around campus and you can’t help but feel happy for and proud of him

There’s one friend who he seems to be around a lot - the magicless human named Yuu

It makes sense since he does enjoy taking walks around their dorm, even before they came to occupy it

One day, you three make the time to have tea together and simply talk. It’s all very pleasant when Yuu says-

“You know, don’t you think it’s weird how your name is Diaval and you’re serving someone who’s strangely reminiscent of Maleficent?”

Well, you don’t think it’s weird because you have no idea what they’re referencing and who Maleficent is - and Malleus seems to think the same, with the confused look on his face and all

Also as true as it is that you’re Malleus’ retainer, you don’t appreciate someone phrasing it as you “serving” him

Yuu apologizes for the comment and explains what they mean by it. You both still don’t get it but it’s enough to make you shrug it off

Sometimes Yuu would still make such comments, thinking you don’t hear it but knowing it’s not that deep, it doesn’t affect the three of you’s friendship whatsoever.

[fillinforlater]

Hii! Could you do a smut of Minnie x Yuqi x Miyeon please? I don't really have any specific things I want in it other than scissoring and all of them just all over each other lol

Sorry im in a mood-🤪

To Glide

Minnie x Yuqi x Miyeon

Length: 2.000 words

Tags: lesbian sex, lesbian threesome, LOT'S OF LUBE, annoyed sex, fingering, clit play, scissoring, lesbian missionary, fold in half (Yuqi), pretty and submissive (Miyeon), has had fucking enough (Minnie)

(A/N: Here is a random drop to start of the new year lol. This is what happens when you send the right ideas to me. Have fun and stay healthy!)

“This is such a not-good-idea.”

Minnie sighs and pinches her forehead. To say that she has doubts about this new ‘project’ of Yuqi would be an understatement. She hates that this obnoxiously loud girl always pushes onward with her ideas without ever thinking of the consequences. Like last week, when she threw this party at Miyeon’s house—Minnie expected a handful of people—and suddenly hundreds of people turned up and trashed the whole thing. For some reason, Miyeon didn’t even care all that much.

Guess Yuqi’s tongue kept her busy all night, Minnie thinks, an envious blush on her cheeks. That’s the curse of Yuqi, she might at times be a bad friend, but in the end, she is just irresistible. In the end, Minnie can only blame herself for not rejecting Yuqi’s plans of filling a small pool with lube—in the middle of Minnie’s own living room. 

Your house is the biggest, Yuqi argued, and with a few adorable blinks, she got what she wanted. And now Miyeon is already ready to dump in over ten bottles of lube into the small plastic construction, definitely not made to withstand whatever crazy games Yuqi will come up with. Minnie can still say no, still send them home, hell, they can have enough fun with each other in Yuqi’s—

“Aw, why not, Nicha?” Yuqi complains cutely and wraps a sly arm around Minnie’s waist. “It will be so much fun, don’t you think? I can’t see how it can go wrong.”

“It’ll be such a mess,” Minnie argues, but it’s fragile, because Yuqi’s magic goes beyond puppy eyes and that deadly voice: she is already fiddling with the buttons of Minnie’s jeans, easily able to pop them open and dig her hand onto Minnie’s sex. The thought alone arouses her. “I-I don’t want to clean up afterwards.”

“Then I will clean up, okay? Pinky promise?”

“O-okay.” Dammit, she couldn’t resist again. Minnie is just too weak for Yuqi.

“Perfect. Miyeon, pour in the lube! Let’s have some fun.”

“Okay, babe~” Miyeon shouts back and gleefully squeezes out bottle after bottle until the clear liquid has thoroughly covered the entire plastic surface. “Should we get our bikinis?”

“Nah, screw those. Bikinis are for public pools.” Yuqi starts to unzip her top and jumps out of her pants. “At home, with my girls, I don’t want to wear clothes!”

“Oh~” Miyeon coos and Minnie can see that horny glint in her eyes. “I love that! Let me get undressed too.”

Minnie looks at them for a second, their bodies being revealed piece by piece, bare and completely spotless. Yuqi is a perfectionist when it comes to her own nude body, but at the same time, she does not give a single fuck about other people’s short comings. She just loves nudity, and so Minnie isn’t the only one starring when Miyeon gracefully removes her tight crop-top and moves her hips in quick circles until her black shorts fall down. 

“I see you came prepared,” Yuqi says in excitement, because of the lack of underwear on Miyeon’s stunning frame.

“I still have the bikini in my bag, but—

“I kinda knew you wouldn’t want to see it.”

A heat is rising up inside Minnie. No anger or annoyance can keep it down anymore; the arousal is too great, irresistible, like the sight of Miyeon and Yuqi flopping into the pool. The lube flies everywhere, most importantly on their legs, their chests, their hair, their bellies, their feet—Minnie does not notice the mess being made. 

She is depraved and horny, the way she tears off her jeans and top is chaotic, unplanned. Minnie has become a mess by just looking at her friends. Luckily, Yuqi does not notice. She's too busy with Miyeon and getting her fingers all over the elder’s skin. That is until Minnie bursts in and disrupts them, putting real strain on the edges of the plastic pool.

“Hey, watch out,” both Yuqi and Miyeon laugh. “You’re about to break it.”

“I- I don’t care! You two are being too loud, I need to shut you up a bit.” Minnie’s rebuttal is weak, because Yuqi gets a hand on her hairy cunt and starts to rub all over it.

“Oh, you want to shut us up by destroying this pool? Makes sense, makes sense.” Miyeon giggles and adds. “I think our friend here is tripping a bit. Tell us, Mi~nnie~

“How do you want to make us shut up?”

Minnie has never felt this ferocious, it’s like the spirit of a savage, unchained animal has overcome her. She wraps her entire arm around Yuqi’s tiny waist and spins her around. The small woman is still laughing, but with two lube-drenched fingers straight into her tight cunt, she is now Minnie’s prisoner. A happy prisoner, who quietly moans and hums with every curl the digits in her pussy make.

“Oh my~” Miyeon gasps and intently watches on as Minnie squeezes Yuqi tightly and makes sure to never stop pumping into that wet cavern. Yuqi still thinks this is all fun and games and tries to kiss Minnie, but the Thai girl goes straight for Yuqi’s neck and marks it with a frantic bite.

“Mi-Minnie, what the—I never knew you liked—”

“How about you shut your pretty mouth up and get on all fours? 

“Now.”

Yuqi twitches around Minnie’s fingers when she hears this command. After a bit of slipping and falling she finds herself in the suggested position with Minnie’s hand cupping her labia and slowly rubbing lube across it. Yuqi arches her back, eyes closed to intensely feel every touch on her folds, then inside her pussy when Minnie decides to penetrate her once more. Miyeon gasps again.

“How about you lay down too, pretty?” Minnies suggest to Miyeon who needs a few seconds to wake up from her slumber and lay down into the slippery mess. She instinctively opens up her beautiful legs when Minnie’s hand approaches her, then the girliest of moans leaves her lips when her cunt gets filled. 

Minnie’s heart is pumping up to her head, knocking on her brain and she loses all her senses except for touch on her fingertips, which become drenched in arousal. Every thrust, it doesn’t matter if they are hard or soft, makes her greedy, as if this scenario wasn’t enough. She has everything a girl could ever want, but now she needs more. 

Minnie needs Yuqi to ruin herself—which happens sooner than she could’ve ever dreamed of. Yuqi’s ass moves on its own, her hips slam backwards and swallow every inch of Minnie’s flicking fingers and when three of them finally pierce her pussy open, she cums. Face buried in ridiculous amounts of lube, Yuqi groans and trembles and falls over, eyes rolled into the back of her head—that’s what Minnie wanted. But her greed doesn’t stop.

She looks at Miyeon, her pout, her need for release in this slippery mess right in the middle of this living room—Yuqi will have to clean it meticulously afterwards, because Minnie plants her puffy pussy right on Miyeon’s and starts to wildly rub it over her. Minnie knows that Miyeon is quite familiar with scissoring, this is definitely no first for her, but she nonetheless reacts to it like a virgin. She desperately holds onto Minnie’s hip and through a voice broken by moans begs her to go slower. 

“Should I really go slower?” Minnie teases when Miyeon starts to grab her waist and bite her lip. Her face is so eerily perfect with all the wet lube and sweat on it, the blush that isn’t faint but blunt and bright. “Don’t you want to cum with your pussy, pretty princess?”

And then Minnie just continues, her hips slam down, against those aroused folds. She also makes use of her hands, spreading lube all over Miyeon’s boobs, midriff, down to the hard nub that looks like it’s about to explode if just—

Someone would—

“Not there, not there, Mi-Minnie, I’m about to—”

Minnie plays with it, rubs the clit side to side and Miyeon bursts into a loud and wet orgasm that has the pool suddenly filled with lube and girl juice. Minnie still doesn’t stop, instead she squeezes out every last second of Miyeon’s high by squeezing her breasts and squeezing more lube over her feet, which Yuqi is already eagerly playing with, in trance at the taste of Miyeon’s soles.

“Gosh, she looks so hot,” Yuqi whispers at the sight of Miyeon, who cannot escape the overstimulation. There is just no grip on anything, it’s like the entire universe wants her to glide back to Minnie and her pervy hands. Hands that can’t stop groping her, covering her in so much lube, she feels too heavy to fight back. 

“You’re one to talke,” Minnie responds and raises an eyebrow when Yuqi dares to look back at her. “She went down fairly easily, but I know I need more with you.”

Yuqi smirks and like the angelic devil on Minnie’s shoulder leans in and hums:

“Then give me more.”

It’s hard to tell if Yuqi regrets her witty remark or if this was the actual reaction she wanted. In the blink of an eye, she finds herself below Minnie, in the deepest mix of cum, sweat and lube she has ever been in. Minnie immediately goes for her limits, grabbing her ankles and folding her in half while looking absolutely unamused.

“I know you can fold like a lawn chair,” she snarks and Yuqi gasps when her heels are almost level with her eyes. “So you better keep this up, because I won’t stop.”

“Wha-what are you trying—?”

“You’ve never had it like this, huh?”

Minnie crashes her hairy cunt right on Yuqi’s perfect slit. The slap is loud, the sting is painful at first, but Yuqi gets no time to scream because Minnie just continues. She rides her fat lips all over Yuqi’s shaven crotch, spreads her arousal to add more wetness, to glide better.

Glide she does. Yuqi has to take deep breaths that quickly turn to moans every time Minnie glides over her clit. Back and forth is great, left and right is excellent, Yuqi’s mind starts to spin in the same rhythm that Minnie’s pussy spins. That is until she goes up and back down. That’s too much to handle. Yuqi’s nails dig into Minnie’s elbows and she can see the Thai girl only through tear filled orbs.

Hottest of all: Minnie shows no reaction to this athletic feat. She just leans down, lips right on Yuqi’s, but instead of kissing her, she spouts dumb, dirty bullshit that has Yuqi in an ultimate frenzy.

“You never had a girl take you missionary. I fucking know, because I always hear them moan, not you. You think you’re such a player, Yuqi, the girl that gets all the bitches—that’s over now. Now you’re my bitch and I will fuck you like it. You will cum on this hairy pussy and then I’ll make you clean it up.

“Do you understand?”

“Y-yesh, Ma’am!”

Yuqi whines, Minnie smirks.

“Good. That was easy, didn’t know you could be so submissive. I think you should get an orgasm, slut.”

As predicted, the final thrust starts of Yuqi’s climax, one that lasts for a while. While not as messy as Miyeon’s, Minnie can see how intense it was for the smaller woman below her. Yuqi is a fucked mess, messy hair, messy pussy, messy face, something that can surely be a seat in the future—nah, fuck the future. Yuqi won’t always be her bitch, might as well—

“I think you’re learning your place.” Minnie gives Yuqi some time to adjust her posture, time Minnie spends on a quick look at Miyeon, who is busy stimulating her nipples to the sight of what happened in front of her. Minnie has no clue how and if to include her; an issue for later. “Now eat me.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

[honeykyeom]

white noise / track 1: st. patrick

pairing: lee seokmin x afab! reader

series summary: your best friend seokmin has always been there for you. after a particularly rough heartbreak, you find out he's there for you in more ways than just one.

series notes: uni!au, best friends to lovers, friends with benefits, kpop 97 line antics and shenanigans (specifically seventeen & loona), 18+ (smut is outlined/warned beforehand)

chapter notes: alcohol mention and consumption, house party setting, smut!!! (oral sex [afab receiving], protected sex, small insecurity mention), mingyu being pouty, yves being a terrible wingwoman, minghao being the king he is, to my jaehyun lovers i'm so sorry, this is for the orbits for the pain that we've been through

wc: 7.2k (still can't believe i wrote this much)

a/n: i've teased bringing this back a lot and this series still means so much to me, even though it still sits unfinished lol. this first track especially. and if it weren't the support (& excitement) of @onlyseokmins, idk if i ever would've reposted it. so this is for you bb <3 please let me know what you think in the tags or send in asks, i'd love to hear your thoughts! <33

“What do you think about this?”

You look over at your friend, her figure adorning a velvet tube top with loose white cloth pants, an outfit that’s comfortable and light for a steamy college party and yet accentuates her curves enough to show off. Any sane person would tell Yves that she would be the center of attention as soon as she walks through the door, having everyone question if they wanted to be her or be with her.

“It looks good,” you respond with a nonchalant shrug, going back to aimlessly scrolling on your phone, surrounded by a multi-chrome array of clothes.

You were clearly not the sane person in that scenario. 

Yves turns to you, exasperated at your attitude. “Dude, you’ve been so boring since you got your heart broken by Jaehyun.”

“I did not get my heart broken.”

“Really? Because you’re acting like the second lead who just got dumped in a drama.” 

“Your outfit and you are hot, like always! Is that what you wanted to hear,” a small chuckle leaves your lips as you stand up from the bed. “Anyways, I’m not heartbroken, just upset.”

You look over your outfit in the floor-length mirror of the room, your black booties standing out against your mid-wash jean shorts. As you play with your cardigan, your mind wanders to Jaehyun and the ghost of a fling, fleeting and indescribable to anyone not close to you. You begin to wonder how he describes you to his close confidantes, if the small cafe dates and late night study sessions in the library were described with care or if all that mattered were the rushed bedroom antics, leaving you with just a memory and an “I think we should see other people” text message. 

“Take this off. I know you and you’re going to get hot,” Yves wakes you from your daze, pulling your cardigan off your body, revealing your black cropped tank, “This is a better outfit anyway. We’re going to a party, not one of Haseul’s opera recitals.” She joins you in the mirror, a small smile gracing her face as she assesses your outfit. “Much better. Plus, this,” she gestures to your figure, “will help you get laid.”

You roll your eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what they say! To get over someone, you have to get under someone new.”

Looking at Yves, her pride evident in her stance and a mischievous gleam in her smile, you were sure of one thing. “You’re absolutely mental.”

“You know I’m right,” Yves insists. “One way to quickly get over someone is to have sex with someone else. I’ve done it.” Her shameless approach on the topic bleeds through her demeanor, her shoulder sitting low on her upper body as she sits on her bed and one of her legs drapes across the other. Just as you were about to respond to her, your phone buzzes in your back pocket, distracting you and Yves from the current conversation.

LADS ‼️💯‼️

seokmin: ya’ll going to the party tn?

haseul: can’t :/ have the late night shift at the library

mingyu: booooo tomato tomato

minghao: and what happened to fuck capitalism?

haseul: try telling our landlord that

minghao: fair enough

yn: yves and i are going!

seokmin: jinsoul?

jinsoul: social battery is pretty low, so i’m probably going to stay home

mingyu: BOOOOO tomato tomato 🍅🍅🍅 i'm throwing tomatoes!

yves: leave her alone gyu!

jinsoul: i’m not getting you coffee before class anymore for that

minghao: lmao good job gyu

yn: he will be his own downfall

mingyu: :(

seokmin: anyways the boys and i will see yall there! 

seokmin: do you need a ride?

yves: we’re taking an uber!

minghao: good. stay safe!

Yves looks up from her phone and looks at you with a playful smirk pulling at her lips. “You know what I just thought was a great idea.”

With her track record, it’s probably not a good idea.

“You should hook up with Seokmin.”

It definitely wasn’t a good idea. “Okay, now I know you’ve lost your mind.”

“You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it.”

You can’t deny that you haven’t thought about how your best friend would treat you in the bedroom. You would get lost in your head, thinking about how his arms had gotten toned after his recent workout sessions and how those same arms would hold you down as he made you reach cloud nine. Many would cringe at the mere thought, but with how close you and Seokmin were and how much time you two spent together, people thinking you were at least hooking up wasn’t uncommon, your cheeks getting hot any time it’s brought up. His eyes would get wide with that same sweet smile, the red flush on his ears disappearing quickly. You’d never cross that boundary just to get over a silly boy; your friendship means much more to you than a quickie.

“Just because I might’ve thought about it, doesn’t make it something that needs to happen. I’m not that desperate,” you double down on your stance, grabbing your phone to check the status of your Uber, finding any excuse to escape this conversation. The thin black line stating your driver was more than 5 minutes away, you mentally curse at whoever was upstairs who enjoys watching you suffer at the hands of Yves.

“Please, have you seen how buff he’s getting! Those arms?” a sly grin blooming on her face, she looks over at you expectantly as if you would agree with her. You do, but you’d never let her know that. Instead of entertaining her antics, you grab your personal bag, ready to leave for the night.

“Okay, you’re done. Let’s go,” you say, pulling Yves from the bed, “the Uber is almost here.”

Walking through the door of the frat house, the humidity in the air makes your shirt stick to your chest like a second skin. The packed bodies only add to the warmth inside the cramped house, you silently thank Yves for making you take off your cardigan, the couple years of your friendship proving that she knows you better than you think. She hugs your backside, keeping you close as you move through the mass of people, looking for your group of friends.

“Do you know if they’re here yet?” you hear Yves’ voice, yelling above the crowd from behind you and almost blending into the music.

You respond, bringing your face close to her ear, “Yeah, Seokmin texted me saying they were!” She nods in acknowledgment, eyes scanning the immediate area. It’s hard to miss a man towering over the crowd, his signature black hair striking against his tan skin making him stand out as he takes a sip from his red solo cup near the kitchen. Two other men stand close to him, donning similar red plastic cups, one with a bright smile that easily lights up the room, shining with the fluorescent blues and purples of the house, and the other boy making his mark with a messy mullet and trademark style that defines his frame. Even if you hadn’t recognized the trio as your best friends, you would’ve instantly taken notice, the boys immediately attracting your attention. 

“I found them!” you announce to Yves, who’s still close behind you, clinging to your arm as if her life depended on it. Grabbing her hand, you move through the crowd, not caring whose toes you stepped on or if people didn’t hear your ‘excuse us!’. It wasn’t long before you met with the trio of men, their faces lighting up as soon as they took notice of your presence and Mingyu pulling you in for a suffocating hug. 

“You finally made it!” Mingyu’s breath is hot against you as he yells over the noise, still keeping you close even after the hug was long done, his arms tucking you underneath him. His chin decides to rest on your head and naturally finding its place as his arms wrap around your figure. At first glance, people may think that the two of you were an item, but Mingyu was just close with anyone he knew, finding any reason to hug his close friends. 

“You’re lucky we made it all, hell, with how many people are here!”

“We were talking about moving to the backyard once you got here. Did you guys want a drink first?” Minghao is the one to speak up, looking at you and Yves through his bangs, bringing his red solo cup to his lips. 

A groan breaks through the air, Yves grabbing his hand as she responds, “Yes, please. I definitely need it.”

Surprisingly, the kitchen is less crowded than the common areas of the house, bodies not congregating in the area once they make their drinks. You feel instant relief, the air conditioning hitting your skin, even a nice breeze from the back door giving you much needed fresh air. The group makes their way to the kitchen island, an array of liquor, beer, and mixers lining the surface, making the workspace nonexistent. Mingyu works with what he has though, his hands moving with diligence and ease as he acts as the group’s personal bartender for the night - just like every group gathering before. 

“Hey!”

Turning towards the voice, you’re met with Seokmin, his dark hair falling against his tan skin and a smile so big that the skin near his eyes smile along with him, still sparkling with the bright party lights. Your heart grows warm seeing your best friend, the energy around him bursting with sunshine and love that anyone can feel when they enter his presence. You return his smile and saddle up to his side. Your shoulders touch as the two of you watch Mingyu mix drinks for you and Yves, who joins you and Seokmin, sitting on the kitchen counter next to him.

“I haven’t gotten to ask you, how are you doing since…” Seokmin’s words trail off and you look at him, concern etched in his face.

“Since Jaehyun? I’m not made of glass, you know. We can talk about him.”

Yves chimes in, “Don’t act like you weren’t crying about how unloveable you were just two days ago,” her snark ever prevalent in her tone. 

“Anyways!” you retort, moving your attention back to Seokmin, “I’m fine. It was just a little fling, not a big deal.”

“It’s ok to be sad. You really liked him.” Seokmin flashes you a sincere smile, so pure, so full of light, the party seems to be worth it all from this little interaction. It’d been a while since you left your cave, only earthing to join the weekly movie night with everyone. Every time you wanted to hide away underneath your sheets, when you wanted your world to be blackness, when you wanted the world to swallow you whole, Seokmin was always there, the light at the end of your tunnel, pulling you out. 

“Well, we’re not being sad tonight,” Mingyu interrupts your daze, handing you a miniature plastic cup, the same shot-sized reusable cups that were on the counter for reckless decisions like this one. “We’re here to forget about Jaehyun and enjoy our friends. Ones we know won’t leave us high and dry.” He holds his cup up to the ceiling, everyone following suit. “To our friendship!”

The clear liquid burns in your throat and you can feel it travel down your body, a chill tingling up your spine. Your nights that usually start with vodka shots don’t end too well, you think.

Cheers to you finding out what this night has in store.

A breeze wafts into the air, tripping you up and the ball you just threw blowing away with it.

“That’s not fair! The wind affected the throw!”

“Doesn’t matter! We discussed the rules before we started!”

A pout forming on your face, you stand back, giving Seokmin room for his turn. He turns to you, giving you a small pat on your lower back, muttering a soft ’it’s okay’ before his concentration is back on the five red cups laid in front of him on the table. His eyes are focused, his face still as he brings his hand up to aim, lining up his shot. The air was silent, the group paying close attention to his actions, watching him take his shot. The world seems to stop as he lets go of the plastic ball, everyone quiet until it reaches the rim of a plastic cup, toying with your emotions until it finally dips into the cup with a resounding plop.

You scream and wrap your arms around Seokmin, giddy with excitement as giggles fill the air. You don’t even care that there were still 3 cups to a victory and neither did Seokmin as he lifted you in the air, making your world dizzy. He held you tight, keeping you tucked into him even after he set your two feet back on the ground, his arms hugging you and taking place on your shoulders.

“I don’t know why Y/N is celebrating, they’ve missed every one of their shots!” Mingyu taunts, clearly trying to get under your skin. 

Before you can respond, Seokmin speaks up, “Hey! We’re closer to winning than you! And that’s bold coming from you when Yves is clearly carrying your team.”

Mingyu gets quiet at that, Yves not even able to defend her teammate, just turns to him with a sympathetic pat on his arm before lining up to take her shot. Minghao, who’s leaning comfortably on the back wall of the house, chuckles, only staying quiet once Mingyu shoots him a death glare.

Looking up at Seokmin, you pout with a small whisper, “Am I that bad?”

“What? No! Also, who cares? It’s just beer pong.” He leaves the comfort of your touch to grab the ping pong balls from the grass, both missed by Yves and Mingyu. 

“I care! For my ego.” You know he’s trying to make you feel better, trying to make sure you don’t take Mingyu’s competitive nature to heart like you tend to do. It is just beer pong. But the phrase “The more you drink, the better you are at beer pong” has exceptions and you may be one of them, the alcohol coursing through your system not helping whatsoever.

A playful smirk appears on Seokmin’s face as he says, “Would it hurt your ego if I helped you out with your form?”

You look at Seokmin through your lashes, your pout turning into a coy smile and a flirtatious lilt coming out of your tone. “No, I don’t think so.”

When Seokmin hands you the ping pong ball, he takes position behind you, lifting your hand with his, the other holding to your waist tightly. His breath was hot against your face, his voice soft and nurturing, tickling your ears, “You want to keep your wrist loose and have it high to start. It’s easier to aim from high above.”

It could be the alcohol talking, but having Seokmin this close, this intimate, had you thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to have him tangled in your sheets. The same caramel voice that was coaching you through your terrible beer pong skills, the same voice that calls you late at night to make sure you’ve made it home safely, that same voice would be coaxing you to your high, having you come apart from his words alone.

It’s definitely just the alcohol talking, you think. You hope that’s the case, anyway.

“Once you get an aim, you’ll want to let go and follow through with your throw.” Seokmin leads you in the motion he described, still keeping you close. With your confidence now elevated, the air still, and everyone quietly watching, you let go of the ball and follow its arc as it sinks into a center cup.

Pride lights your smile aglow, your first instinct to reach Seokmin for a hug in a small celebration. His grip on you is tight as he hugs you back, his eyes showering you with admiration. 

“I knew you could do it.”

“I only made that shot because of you.”

You glance over at the other side of the table. With a knowing smirk on Yves’ face, she keeps her eyesight towards the ground, preparing for her next turn. 

You won’t be hearing the end of it from her.

You lean against the folding chair you’ve taken refuge in, a sweet breeze coming in, slightly lifting the jacket that’s draped across your shoulders. Smoke from the small fire in front of you makes your eyes sting, tears filling the corners. Bringing the cup you have to your lips, a clear line of separation from the ice that has melted and the alcoholic coke visible, you shudder at the taste and hand the cup back to Mingyu. “This party is kinda boring.”

“Oh, is beating us at beer pong not enough fun for you?”

“You’re starting to sound like a sore loser, Gyu,” Minghao chimes in, nursing his own screwdriver next to you. He keeps his puff jacket unzipped, letting the heat from the fire warm him up from the chill of the night air. 

“So what if I am? Yves didn’t do all that work for nothing.”

“Speaking of Yves, where is she?” You never saw her slip away from the group, the atmosphere missing her snark and light attitude, but you’re only met with shrugs from the two men in front of you. 

“She mentioned meeting with ViVi, don’t know if she ever found her.” The voice comes from behind you with a hand meeting your shoulder, the touch not unwelcomed, recognizing it to be Seokmin. “I’m assuming she has because she’s been gone for awhile.”

Just as Seokmin rejoins the group, a fresh drink in hand, your phone buzzes on your lap with the screen illuminating your face, looking at the text.

yves: leaving with vivi, don’t wait up <3

yves: also, don’t think we won’t be talking about seokmin later 

yves: 😉

yn: we won’t be talking about him bcs nothing is nor will happen

yves: keep telling yourself that

You tune yourself out of your conversation with Yves, exhausted from the few text messages and her persistence. Turning your attention back to the group, leaning your head against Seokmin’s arm. “Yves just texted me. She left with ViVi.”

“Of course she did. I’m surprised it took her this long to make a move,” Minghao comments. The fire was now burning stronger, embers flying through the space only to land softly on the concrete. “How long has she been talking to her, anyway?”

“About 3 months now,” Mingyu answers.

“Damn… She must really like her.”

“Yeah, she never waits that long if it’s just a hookup. Even if I wanted to take someone out, I don’t think I’d wait that long.”

Minghao's eyes flicker to Seokmin, something on the edge of understanding and comfort, almost like he was sympathizing with him. Something you might have noticed if you weren’t resting on Seokmin’s hips, eyes closed as he rubs small circles on your shoulder. Something you would ask Seokmin about if you had seen. The look leaves as quickly as it came, Minghao’s face leans downcast, lips pursed as if he was holding his thoughts in.

Seokmin’s face leans close to your ear, soft and inviting as he speaks, “You getting tired?”

“Not really. Just bored,” sighing, you look up at Seokmin, meeting his eyes. “Kind of want to go home.”

“Let me take you back, make sure you get home safe. I’ll get us an Uber.”

“You just got your drink! I don’t want to end your night early.” You give Seokmin a gentle smile, a small appreciative gesture at his care. He was always taking care of you, always by your side, always giving himself to you. You wanted him to enjoy his night not worrying about you, at the very least.

Suddenly, Seokmin is walking to Mingyu, handing his cup over to the man sitting on the concrete, engulfed in conversation with Minghao. He announces his departure, telling the boys to make sure to get to their shared apartment safely and let him know when they do. Then, he’s walking back to you, grabbing your hand with such kindness, such care, before he’s looking at you expectantly. 

“Let’s go.”

Your keys clinking fill the dead space as you enter your apartment, making sure to hold the door open, inviting Seokmin to follow you. He’s been here many times, whether it was alone or with your group of friends. The apartments shared between the seven of you had an open-door policy, welcoming heartbreaks, laughs, boredom, and overall debauchery with wide arms and open cabinets. Seokmin didn’t ask any questions when he walked into your apartment last week and saw you left alone in the darkness, nursing a bowl of your comfort instant ramen, your body hidden underneath an oversized blanket. You didn’t ask any questions when he joined you in your reality tv show marathon, grabbing a blanket from your ottoman, letting the fabric swallow him whole when he settled on your couch. Neither of you said anything, sitting in a comfortable silence, your brains turned off from the stress of the week.

He knew he didn’t need to ask anything; he knew you would come to him eventually, when you were ready. 

He secretly hoped your heart would do the same.

“Did you want a drink?” your voice brings Seokmin back to reality. You were at your fridge, pulling out transparent green glass bottles. “I know you didn't get to finish yours earlier.” 

“I thought you were tired,” Seokmin ignores the question, instead looking at you incredulously.

After you open the bottles, you bring the cold bubbly liquid to your lips, walking across your kitchen island to bring Seokmin the other. “I said I was bored, not tired. There was nothing to do, just a lot of loud drunk kids.”

“That’s most frat parties, you know.”

“Yeah. I don’t know why I keep letting Yves drag me to them,” you sigh, staring past Seokmin but not focusing on anything in particular. 

“How about we play a game or something? Never have I ever?”

“You already know most everything about me! What fun would that be?”

“I bet there’s some things I don’t know about you!” While you and Seokmin had known each other since freshman year, spending most of your time together, you kept yourself guarded. Only letting Seokmin in when you were comfortable, prepared for the onslaught of judgment - which never came. Seokmin had been nothing but understanding, a warm breeze in an otherwise cold world. “How about we play 20 questions?”

You purse your lips, letting the beer bottle settle on your countertop as you think over Seokmin’s proposition. “Fine.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

You giggle to yourself, settling on your rug in the living room, thinking back to when you first met Seokmin during freshman orientation. Your knees touch his, bumping into each other as you reminisce. “What was my first impression of the goofball who followed me around like a lost puppy?”

Seokmin laughs, lighting up the room, making happiness bubble to the surface of your skin. You join in his laughter as he says, “Hey! Two lost people is better than one! Would you have not wanted me to follow you around because look at us now!”

“You’re right. Who knew that little goofball would end up being one of the best people in my life?”

“Remember during the social, Mingyu busted his ass trying to show up Minghao at b-boying?”

“Yeah and we had to help him nurse his ego in the dorm hallway?”

You and Seokmin had been inseparable that weekend, from his first awkward “Do you know where the Admin building is?” to your last “I guess I’ll be seeing you around campus”, you two finding your way back to each other come the first semester. With you two living in adjacent dorm buildings, it was easy to catch up for lunch, walk each other to class and meet in the communal study rooms. Mingyu happened to live in the same building as Seokmin and Jinsoul was your freshman year roommate. Soon, your group during the lunch break grew to include Haseul, Minghao, and Yves and solidified during sophomore year. They all held a special place in your heart, but none like Seokmin and they all knew it. Life was easier with Seokmin; midterms never seemed as difficult with his guiding light, heartbreaks never felt as lonely with his warmth and bad decisions never were so irreversible with his love.

Seokmin was and will always be your home — your light at the end of the tunnel. 

The laughter between you two dies down, an easy silence falling in the air. It isn’t until you calm down that you ask the next question, “Okay my turn.” You bring a serious expression to your face, shifting the tone from the previous lighthearted atmosphere. “Is it better to love & lose or never love at all?”

“Oh, you’re getting philosophical on me now?”

“No better time than at 1 am on a Friday night, tipsy with my best friend.”

You see Seokmin slightly wince, something that happens in a blink of an eye before it’s replaced with a pensive expression, his lips jutting out in thought. You don’t have time to point it out before he’s answering, “Isn’t it better to love & lose? I mean, what’s a world without love?” You think on his words, albeit too long as he voices, “Why? Do you feel different?”

“Personally… yeah,” you mutter. You speak a little louder, confiding to Seokmin, “It might be everything that happened with Jaehyun but I can’t see how I can be thankful for giving him my love.” 

“You… loved him?” Seokmin murmurs quietly, unable to mask his surprise. 

“Not exactly, but is it embarrassing how fast I fell for him?”

No…” Seokmin trails off, his lips in a thin line, almost like he’s trying to keep himself from saying something he wants to. It’s faint, but you notice.

“What do you want to say?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re hiding something.”

“No I’m not,” he repeats, adamant. 

“Yes you are!” you smile before continuing, “C’mon, just tell me!” You begin to poke Seokmin’s side, a prominent offensive move in your arsenal. Seokmin giggles, trying to move away from the stimulation of your jabs, but is unsuccessful as you reach over and begin your attacks on his left side.

“Y/N stop!” His demand comes out broken as he tries to catch his breath, unable to break his fits of laughter.

“Not until you tell me what you’re hiding!”

Your assault continues, your giggles getting louder, probably annoying your neighbors. Neither of you are able to catch your breath, until Seokmin suddenly grabs hold of your wrists, bringing your back to the cushion of your rug, effectively pinning you to the ground.

Your laughter dies, the room becoming dead silent, only your ragged breaths filling the air. Your chest is heaving, your lungs trying to catch the precious air around you. With Seokmin straddling your waist, it isn’t until your breathing finally slows do you realize that his face is inches away from yours. His breath is audible, face red from the commotion. 

You’ve never really looked at Seokmin this close, his mole standing out on his cheek. You notice every pore, every freckle and every line, all of it accumulating into the beauty of his face. His eyes are soft as he looks at you. The tension is unmistakably palpable, making your skin hot underneath his touch. You glance down at his lips, the curves and various shades of pink accentuating against his tan skin.

Before you can think much about it, you’re suddenly kissing him. 

And just as quick, he’s pulling away from you, eyes wide. He looks at you as if you might break, like fragile glass ready to crack at any moment. 

“Are you sure you want this?” Seokmin is sincere, voice woven with care, loosening your own heart strings. “I don’t want you to do something you’re going to regret in the morning,” he whispers, speaking softly, trying not to overstep his boundaries. His thought to put you first was the last undoing of the tangled mess of woven string in your heart, unraveled and exposing yourself to him. 

“I’m sure, Seokmin. I want you.”

You don’t get to finish your sentence before Seokmin’s lips are back on yours, swallowing your last breath.

His lips are softer than you imagine and taste of mint and whiskey, combining to create something that was uniquely Seokmin. The hairs stand up along your body, your senses being invigorated by Seokmin’s attention to your lips. Shivers run down your body from his kisses alone and once he starts trailing along your jaw and neck, your skin lights fire, igniting the burning desire within you. 

His hands leave your wrists, bringing them to your torso, keeping you close against him as your hands immediately cling to his neck, breathing heavily. He runs small circles along your skin, making you go dizzy.

Panting, you manage to whisper through your short breaths, “Should we take this somewhere that, you know, isn’t my living room floor?”

Seokmin keeps his attention on your neck as he responds between kisses, “I don’t know. I was ready to take you right here.”

“Do you want me to blow my back out?”

“Oh, you’ll be getting your back blown out no matter where you are.. so it’s really up to you.” You can feel him smile against your neck with a small nip. You moan at his words, his confidence making you quiver. This kind of arrogance isn’t something you’re used to seeing on Seokmin, but you can’t deny that it looks good on him, easily molding you like clay under his fingers. 

You play it cool, though, or you hope, at least. “I’d rather not have sex with you on my living room rug.”

“Fair enough.”

SMUT WARNING !

As soon as you shut the door, Seokmin finds his hands all over you, bringing you back to his mouth. One of his hands lands on your waist, kneading at your skin underneath your crop top, slightly lifting the fabric. He held on tight, not wanting to let you go, afraid of you disappearing from his grasp. He can’t help but think this is all a dream — his ears ringing with your whines, his fingers grazing your goosebumps, it was everything he’d fantasized about. 

“Seokmin…” Your voice sounds sweet in his ears, blissful, a desire dripping from it that he’s never heard from you before. 

“What is it?”

Your breath on him is hot, heavy against his skin. “Can we hurry this up because I need you,” you sigh, a small teasing smile playing against your lips. Your hands were grabbing at his clothes desperately, the tug and pull making Seokmin’s head spin. He lets out an airy chuckle, pulling you closer.

Seokmin leads you to your bed, your back hitting the mattress as he runs his hands along your thighs, still leaving kisses along your neck. He trails along the length of your body, down your neck, your clothed chest, your stomach, leaving languid kisses. He was in no rush, wanting this night to last as long as possible, even if it was already two in the morning. He could have you underneath him for hours, your hands pulling at the strands on his head.

He reaches the bottom of your shirt, playing with the hem, leaving open mouthed kisses along your stomach. “Can I?” He asks, referring to your crop as he looks at you, eyes meeting yours. He didn’t want to do anything out of comfort zone, feeling lucky enough to be in this position. As much as the flirty banter made both of your positions clear, he wanted to give you any opportunity to back out if you were ever uncomfortable with crossing the imaginary boundary of your friendship. 

You nod and slowly, Seokmin begins to lift your top, revealing your torso. It took everything in him to not confess to you right then and there, the alcohol flowing in his system removing the filter in his mind. He wanted to kiss you all over, sing sweet praises, tell you how much he’d always wanted this and more, how he’s been in love with you since that freshman orientation weekend — everything that’s been on his mind these past two years.

But he settles with a “God, you’re so beautiful,” hoping that you’d recognize the whiskey lacing his words instead of the yearning.

“Why are you acting so surprised? You’ve seen me in a bikini before!”

He has seen you in a bikini and Seokmin had to take a cold shower when he rinsed the chlorine off of his body for the day, hoping you hadn’t noticed his lingering eyes.

“Can’t a guy just compliment his best friend’s naked body before he fucks them?”

He’s also hoping that you don’t notice how hard it was for him to say that, disguising his wince with a teasing smile.

You begin to unbutton your jean shorts, your hands dancing around the waistband of the material. “Are you actually going to fuck me or are you just going to talk about it?”

Oh, you were going to be the death of him. He fears that you know that.

“I should’ve known you were going to be a brat,” Seokmin mutters, still loud enough for you to hear as he pulls down your shorts down your legs. He’s met with a visible wet patch on your black underwear, which almost takes him out right at that moment. The damp fabric is stuck to your cunt, like a second skin. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“You’re so wet,” Seokmin responds, getting closer to the gap between your legs, blowing puffs of air from his words, making you shake from the stimulation. 

“Is that a bad thing?” He can hear the insecurity in your voice, the confidence from earlier breaking with you slowly pulling your legs together. Seokmin counteracts this action, bringing your legs apart and opening yourself up to him once again. He plants a soft kiss on your inner thigh and he feels the tension release from your body, welcoming his touch.

He looks up at you earnestly. “Of course not. It’s hot.” He toys with your panties, waiting for your approval to continue.

“You can take them off, Seokmin.”

That was all Seokmin needed, peeling your underwear off. 

Seokmin thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. Seeing you bare, spread open for him and only him, was something he’d never believed would happen to him in this lifetime. He’s awestruck at your beauty, only able to respond by kissing your thighs repeatedly, your moans only encouraging him. 

He lowers himself close to your pussy and licks a slow, long stroke along your bud. You grab at his head instantly, a whine coming out of you. He circles your folds, teasingly slow, savoring every moment he has between your legs. You taste sweet, more enticing than any of Seokmin’s dreams. His hands took purchase on your waist, pulling you closer to him when you’d steer away. Your arousal builds and he’s quick to flit his tongue against your clit.

“Fuck! Have you always been good at this?” you choke out, the question coming out broken and breathy, a moan following.

Seokmin smiles against you, laughing quietly, the vibrations tickling against his lips. His pride was swelling, hearing you, the person he’s been in love with for two years now, cry for him. The feeling is making him insatiable, the desire to make you cum overriding any other thought in his mind. Your fingers that were in his hair started to pull harder, fervid as the pleasure overtook you. 

The ache in between his legs, his dick squeezing in between the fabric of his jeans, started to become excruciating. Seokmin slowly grinds against the mattress, searching for any relief for his own hard-on. It proves to be useless, his arousal moving three steps forward and one step back each time you moan his name. His face was covered in you as you jerk against him, riding out the sensations.

He ghosts his fingers to your entrance, hovering over it, teasing you with the prospect of having them inside of you. He keeps his fingers where they are until you wail, begging for them.

“Seokmin, stop teasing…” your voice trails, punctuated with a gasp, from Seokmin slipping his fingers inside of you.

He didn’t need any lubrication, you were dripping enough for him. The sounds that were coming out of your cunt were lewd and it only turned Seokmin on more, blood rushing to his cock and the strain against his jeans becoming even more unbearable to ignore. He can feel you clenching around his fingers; he knows you’re close. Once he reaches the bumpy surface of your g-spot, your muscles tense even more and your breath hitches, your legs squeezing Seokmin.

“Let go for me,” he whispers with a kiss to your clit. A second later, you’re coming undone, back arching off of the mattress. Your walls pulse against his fingers, making his cock twitch. His eyes were transfixed on your figure, watching you fall apart because of him. You were beautiful, this he always knew to be true, but the image of you tensing around him and cumming against his fingers would be engraved in his mind for the rest of his life. 

You begin to come down from your high, Seokmin kissing your inner thigh, eyes shining with awe as he continues to slowly pump in and out of you. You look down at him, relaxing your hands that were once gripping his hair with superhuman strength. He didn’t mind, though. He never minded anything when it came to you, especially since he knew that he was the reason for the overwhelming pleasure.

“Oh my god… Seriously, where did you learn to eat pussy like that?” you breathe out, still trying to catch your breath. 

“I don’t know,” Seokmin chuckles as he slowly pulls his fingers out of you. “I guess I’m just a natural.”

You sit up, reaching for Seokmin’s chin as you bring his lips to yours, taking his breath away. He's completely intoxicated by you, the alcohol wearing off and being replaced by your allure. It still amazes him how you have him trapped under your spell, wrapped around your finger — and you don’t even know it. Seokmin is so lost in your kiss, he doesn’t realize that he’s now on his back with you straddling him, your hands fumbling with his zipper.

“Let me take care of you,” you coo, your lips still close to his, brushing against them softly.

It pains Seokmin, the thought of your mouth around his length, his body shivers with the image in his mind. “I’m going to be honest, while I’d love to have you sucking me off, I’d cum in 30 seconds,” he confesses. “I need to be inside of you. Now.” You smile so bright, so enchanting, Seokmin is already seeing stars when you kiss him again, only breaking the kiss to take off his pants and underwear and he removes his shirt.

“Do you have a condom?” he asks, lingering on your body as you remove your bra.

“There’s one inside my nightstand.”

Once Seokmin rolls the condom down his length, your body hovering over him, he finally realizes that this is actually happening. This might not be the way he thought it would ever happen, but he doesn’t have much time to think about it before you’re sinking down on him, enveloping his cock in your heat with a curse. 

You pause, eyes screwed shut as you mentally curse. Tears threaten to fall, pooling to the side of your eyes. Seokmin sees this and panics, immediately sitting up, rubbing soft circles on your cheek. “Hey, hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” He speaks softly, comforting, afraid that you would crack.

You shake your head, finally opening your eyes to look at him. “It’s nothing, it’s just…” 

“Just what?”

“I just had to adjust. You’re…” you pause, thinking carefully on your words, “much bigger than I anticipated.”

Seokmin can’t help but feel smug. He can feel you clenching around him, squeezing the life out of his cock. He can’t hide his smirk, but he’s quick to give you a tender kiss, feeling you relax on top of him. “Just relax. You set the pace,” he soothes and you nod in response.

He stays sitting up as you slowly start to rock back and forth on his lap and Seokmin is already seeing stars, holding back moans. You start slow and easy, setting a rhythmic pace, building pleasure and you lean your head on his shoulder. “Fuck, Seokmin.”

“What is it, baby?” The pet name slips out before Seokmin can catch it. He mentally curses, hoping you don’t notice. It tastes sweet on his tongue, like it was meant to come out of his mouth. 

“You feel so good,” you moan, punctuating the statement with a clamp on his cock.

“I can say the same for you.” It was embarrassing how close Seokmin already was, completely drunk on you. Every squeeze, every whine brought him closer to his dissolve; it took every ounce of Seokmin’s self-control to not let go right there. It took everything in him to not confess, tell you that this was everything he’d ever dreamt of, that he was helplessly and completely in love with you. Seeing you drunk on him, on his cock, was shattering all of his resolve.

“Seokmin, I’m so close,” you whine.

Thank God, Seokmin thinks. His hands that were on your waist guide you, bouncing you up and down on his cock, helping you reach your high. “C’mon, baby, you can do it.” Fuck, I’ve got to stop saying that… 

He feels your nails dig into him, creating crescent moons and threatening to break skin as the tension that was building in your body starts to snap, an overwhelming amount of electricity coursing through your veins. Seokmin’s willpower is left on a thread, feeling your velvet walls tense around his cock, he’s close to his own climax. Once he’s looking at you, seeing your pleasure wash over you, your eyebrows furrowed and a symphony of moans releasing from your mouth, he’s done for. His orgasm crashes against him and he grips your waist tightly, keeping your body at a steady pace as he empties inside of you. 

You're both left panting, bodies spent and going still. All that’s left in the air is your breath and the humidity as you both come down from your highs. Seokmin doesn’t know what comes over him, but the overwhelming need to kiss you takes over his body. He doesn’t think, just reaches up and pulls you to his lips, kissing you passionately until his thoughts come back to him.

Well, where do we go from here?

[shima-draws]

OK, so thinking about a Sanlu au where Luffy is a Pirate King who gets so many marriage requests but does not want to get married. And so he instead insists that he gets to choose his partner through a contest where all the princes and princesses of like the countries around them or other pirates can like bring him a meal and if he likes it, you get married. The problem is that whenever people bring him food he'll just eat it and move on.

And so obviously the vinsmokes are like. Oh s***, we should get in on that. New Ally? And so they try with some of Sanji's others brothers, but none of them like work because they just made their cooks make their meals and everything.

Then eventually sanji, who wants to escape hears about this. And he knows that he can cook so he makes this amazing meat dish He is ready to present his meal towards the Prince in hopes of like maybe escaping his country and living there with Luffy. But like as he's on the way there, there's like this little girl who's starving, and so he gives her the meal instead. It was a one in a million shot anyway.

Anyway, either Luffy sees him doing this or if this was like the true test for kindness for all his partners, and sanji passes the test. Luffy's like get bring this man to me! So sanji goes before him, and luffy asks if he has a meal for him. All sanji has is like, this old sandwhich that he made for himself for the journey here, and sanji tells luffy that. Luffy tells him to bring it to him anyway, and after a lot of protests, he does. Luffy finally eats it and says that its delicious. He and sanji definitely get married.

Sorry for dumping this on you, but your artwork made me literally fall in love with sanlu so I wanted to share this middle of the night idea with you lol.

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ANON THIS IS EVERYTHING.......I'm a SUCKER for AUs like this, ones that kinda give off that Cinderella vibe? The whole 'Well if I have to get married to a random stranger I'm gonna do it my way' trope is always so fun to explore

Luffy's one requirement for a spouse being that they have to cook well is SO on brand for him tbh. I feel like that's something that would be canon too. (Thinks about a situation like that in canon where Luffy's like well nobody can cook better than Sanji so I'll just marry Sanji! And Sanji double takes like wait what hold on a second--)

Even funnier would be if Luffy just met Sanji's brothers and was like. I don't like their vibes they seem mean. And all three of them being SO offended at that lmao

SANJI GIVING HIS DISH TO A STARVING GIRL THO AAAHGFHFHF THAT'S SO. CLENCHES MY TEETH he's so selfless and giving he would absolutely give up all of his dreams just to make sure someone doesn't go hungry I am GOING to cry. And Luffy immediately noticing that, pointing at Sanji and going "Him. I want that one" AGHHH 😭😭😭

ALSO YES THE CALLBACK TO WCI with Sanji's little lunch basket...the food is a total mess it's been rained on and dropped and looks awful but Luffy eats it anyway and says it's delicious...and Sanji's like oh oh oh I think I'm in love with him. Uh-oh.

DON'T APOLOGIZE THIS IS SOOO ADORABLE I'm so glad I got you hooked on Sanlu they are so underrated!!! Going slightly off topic here but I think it's really funny how predictable I am when it comes to getting into new media. Step 1 I watch a show and slowly discover who my Favorites are. Step 2 I end up shipping those favorites together. Step 3 I make that everybody else's problem. Also that ship almost always ends up being the less popular one for some reason?? Which is SO funny to me. Looks at Trustedpartner/Diode, Yujikiri and Tododeku as the most obvious examples of this along with Sanlu

ANYWAY anon I really want to write this can I write this. No guarantees to me actually finishing a full blown fic but oh my godddd this is such a cute idea and is so in character for both of them I'm weeping real tears

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, sorry for dumping a big rant in your askbox but your blog has helped me figure out my identity and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life lol. Feel free to delete if this is too weird.

So I’m a 17 y/o butch, and I have been masculine since I was a little kid. I always felt lucky to have a family that was generally okay with my gender nonconformity. They treated it like a cute quirk of mine, and I never felt like I was being judged or that I should change the way I am around them. My dad got a kick out of it. One summer he let me help him build the deck in our backyard. He always took me to baseball games, he dressed me up in his old clothes, basically treated me like I was his son and I loved it.

I feel like as I get older, my masculinity becomes less acceptable. I went to visit my paternal grandmother for the holidays, hadn’t seen her in a few years, and the first thing she said to me was “I thought you would’ve grown out of all that by now” (in reference to my haircut and outfit, I think.) I just don’t know how to react to the way my extended family treats me now. They used to be totally fine with it, but I spent my entire Christmas feeling like I was being judged for every little thing.

Like, what’s changed? Why is it cute and funny when a little girl wears boy’s clothes and wrestles with her cousins, but disgusting when I grow up and settle into my masculinity?

It’s like I’ve crossed the invisible line between being a tomboy and being a dyke, and now no one wants to entertain it anymore.

Again, sorry for the rant haha, I just feel like I’m going crazy because I tried to talk to my sister about it and she said she didn’t notice them acting any different, but I swear my aunt spent half of our Christmas dinner telling me how pretty I would be if I just wore a bit of makeup lmaoo. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I’m feeling pretty lost right now. Thanks, and happy holidays!

It is not weird at all. I hear that young lesbians, particularly butches, do not have older role models to bounce ideas off of or vent or get any perspective on certain experiences. Moms and Dads and straight sisters and cousins, no matter how well meaning, will just not always "get" what is happening. They say things like "we love you no matter what" and "we don't care if you are a lesbian" and they mean it, mostly. But they often don't see the subtle clues (or blatant ones)they toss around that indicates how uncomfortable they are with you being so visible, but just existing as you naturally are.

AND OH MY GOSH yes I have experienced exactly what you are talking about with the deepening judgement as you move from a cute little Tomboy to an adult butch women. It is almost like they hope to "catch it early" when we are in our teens and redirect us away from the "danger" of being a visible lesbian. And a woman who does not, in very overt ways, conform to their idea of how a woman should be and act.

My dad was relatively consistent in treating me pretty much like he would a son and, to his credit, he did so with my straight sister. We were allowed to do just about anything my older brothers did. In part because my sister was pretty strong willed but also a lot like him. I was less strong willed but she had mowed the path.

Mom was the one who was forever concerned about my looks and behavior, both out of worry I would not fit in, and because she had a certain expectation of how her daughter should grow up. Both normal Mom reactions. She understood bullies and knew that sticking out could be difficult. Her solution was not to strengthen my resilience but to attempt to "tone me down". Her efforts increased as I made the jump from kid to teen and into my late teens. She would discourage me from cutting my hair, becoming almost angry when I brought it up. She would tell me how lovely I was in dresses and skirts and say thing like " a little make up would be nice". It got really old. It lead to us not always getting along even though I loved and respected my mom. She was a great mom. But this one thing made us both crazy. She could not cool it and I could not change who I was.

Friends at school saw hints of my liking girls. I stopped wearing cowboy boots and my favorite horse buckle and it their place went with K Mart Tennis shoes and a generic belt that came with my pants, again, from Kmart. I put away the cowboy fringed shirts and flannel and went with simple jeans and sweatshirts, the acceptable attire for boys and girls in my rural high school. I kept my hair long to disguise my "looking like a boy" traits.

I (barf) agreed to date a boy and spent the better part of that time making excuses to not kiss him or spent time with him. I was starting to listen to mom and do my best to hide ME from the world. Anything (with in reason) to throw the world off the scent, the scent of me being a lesbian. Being butch made that one more step difficult.

It is hard to hide the space we take up naturally.

It might seem hard to see it now by your family is slightly well intentioned, knowing that being "seen" easily as a lesbian can be dangerous. But also, they are uncomfortable with your energy and physical presence because it does not coincide with their ideas of what a woman acts, feels and moves like. This is a THEM problem and I can give you words of comfort based on experience.

The more you begin to be you, and dress in what gives you comfort the more your confidence will grow and be evident. People who are emboldened to try and change you for their own comfort tend to back way off when there is no opening for their opinions. They just sort of realize they are wasting time. AND for those that don't, there are always a few, you don't have to give them any air or acknowledgement. You get to let them waste time and energy while you look great in whatever you wish to wear and however you wish to cut your hair. And in a wonderful turn around, you don't have to spend any effort just being you or trying to defend or correct them.

You are fast approaching adulthood and with that will come even more freedom and independence. Don't rush it but also, work towards that.

[sunshinesteviee]

and they were roommates - s.h.

summary: from the prompt "we hosted a party for our friends last night and somehow we ended up making out and now it’s the next morning and we’re cleaning the apartment together and I can’t stop thinking about it" wc: 1.5k warnings: lots of overthinking and a flustered steve, but that's about it lol a/n: originally requested as a blurb that i got carried away with; i hope you like it!! sorry for the stupid title LOL

my masterlist

It’s unusually quiet in your apartment for a weekend morning where both you and Steve are home. The radio is on, playing the current pop hits, but it’s not enough to distract you from the distinct lack of conversation. If you wanted, you could probably chalk it up to the headache you were experiencing from your drinking last night, and assume Steve was feeling the same. And you tried, you really did. But you knew that wasn’t the cause of the silence filling your apartment. 

Last night, you and Steve had had all of your friends over to unwind and hang out. There’d been lots of alcohol, and you’d ended up drinking way more than you’d planned to. Your drunk decisions were never your best ones, but you’d really outdone yourself last night. The stupid decision had almost been forgotten until you rolled over in bed to find Steve next to you, his perfect lips parted as he slept soundly. It wasn’t exactly abnormal to wake up next to him, especially after a night of drinking, but nothing had ever happened between the two of you. Until last night. 

You hadn’t done anything more than kiss — albeit quite… passionately — but Steve's one of your best friends, as well as your roommate, and a drunken kiss had the potential to ruin everything. Especially since there’d always been an unspoken tension between you, at least from your perspective, but you’d resolved to ignore it in hopes of it disappearing. Clearly, it hadn’t quite worked. 

After silently panicking, you’d scrambled out of bed and escaped to the kitchen, busying yourself with making breakfast. Steve had stumbled out of your room into the kitchen not long later, but was still half asleep as he poured himself a bowl of cereal, slumped over the counter as he shoveled spoonfuls into his mouth. Maybe he didn’t remember. 

At the time, you’d told yourself it was probably good if he didn’t remember. But now, as you silently clean the apartment together, you’re not so sure. Would it hurt more if he really didn’t remember the kiss, or if he was just pretending he didn’t? Sure, you’d both been drunk, but it would be a lie to say you’d never considered the possibility, so the thought of it meaning nothing to Steve nearly eats you alive. 

Empty beer bottles and cans clink loudly as you toss them into the garbage bag you’re holding. It’s louder than it needs to be, but you’re trying to focus on cleaning, on the noise; anything to keep your mind from wandering back to Steve and the kiss you’d shared. Because the images of your kiss flash in your mind, of Steve’s hands on your waist, soft lips pressing to yours, do nothing to stop your racing heart. 

You can’t believe he hasn’t said anything, but then again, neither have you. Just the thought of mentioning it makes you flustered, and you’re not sure you can face him without feeling like you’re going to burst into flames, but you have to go back into the kitchen where Steve is washing the dishes that had been left out overnight. 

Steve is humming along to the song playing over the radio when you walk into the kitchen, and only glances up from the dishes for a moment to flash you his perfect smile when the sound of the bag of garbage you’re carrying betrays you. You manage to return the smile — though you’re sure it’s awkward and unconvincing — as you make your way across the kitchen to dump the bag into the bin. He’s still not saying anything, and you’re still not sure how to feel about all of it. Realistically, you know you should really talk about everything that had happened, even if it was just a one-time, drunken make out. You just can’t quite get yourself to do it, though, and chicken out of saying anything as you dart out of the kitchen and up to your room. 

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you grab your phone and dial a number you know by heart. Robin knows both you and Steve better than anyone else; surely she’ll know what you should do. The phone rings once, twice, three times, and finally she picks up with a grumbled, “Hello?”

“Hey, Robs. Did I wake you?” It’s nearly noon, but Robin’s night had been similar to yours — without all of the kissing, of course. 

She huffs, and you can hear rustling from the other side of the phone as she shifts in bed, “Yeah, but it’s fine; need to get up anyway before my mom starts telling me about the dangers of drinking again. Like I drink all the time or something. Anyway, what’s up?”

Suddenly the butterflies are back, fluttering in your chest, as you rub your free hand over your face, “Do you, uh… Do you remember anything that happened last night? I dunno how drunk you were but—“

Robin is quick to cut you off, “If you’re talking about you and Steve sucking face, yeah I remember that.”

You groan in embarrassment, face and chest filling with heat as you whine into the phone, “Jesus, Robin. Do you have to say it like that?”

“Well! That’s what it was! What would you call it?”

“I dunno, anything but that! But that’s not— I called ‘cause… We haven’t talked about it. I don’t know if he even remembers or—“

A scoff cuts you off again and you can practically hear Robin’s eye roll, “Holy shit, can you just talk to each other please? I’m too hungover for this and Steve’s already called me about it.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, at like four in the morning. It was freaking ridiculous. He said he’d talk to you. I think. I don’t really know, I was half asleep.”

Something like hope stirs in you as you thank Robin and apologize again for waking her up before you hang up. A call in the middle of the night could be good or bad, but Robin hadn’t made it sound like it was anything bad. She’s known about your crush on Steve, going so far as to insist that the feeling is almost definitely mutual, but you’ve never had the courage to make a move. You know it’s now or never. 

Opening your door, you run straight into Steve’s chest with a muffled ‘oof!’ His hand is raised, as if he had just been about to knock, but his arm quickly curls around your shoulders to steady you, “Whoa! Sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

Your own apologies spill out at the same time, “Shit, sorry! I didn’t know you—“

Nervous laughter erupts from both of you, easing some of the awkward silence as Steve takes a step back. He looks a little nervous, with pink cheeks and wide eyes, which is strange for Steve. Lifting a hand, he scratches the nape of his neck for a moment and then murmurs, “I was just— thought we should talk and…” He trails off, eyes darting to the floor and back up to you before he blurts out, “I remember.”

“You do?” is all you can think to ask, sounding much more eager than you want to.

“Y-yeah. I do.”

“Oh,” you breathe out, a ragged sound as your breath catches in your throat. “Is that… is that a good thing?”

Steve laughs, a sound of adoration, as his cheeks flush again, a dark pink underneath his pretty freckles and moles. He lifts a hand, fingers tugging at his messy hair, tongue darting out to lick his lips, “Um. I mean, I think so. If you also think it’s good. Unless you regret it, and in that case, we can totally forget it happened and—“

“Steve,” you say his name quickly to cut him off, the corners of your lips pulling up slightly as he stops mid-sentence. 

“Yeah?”

You take a deep breath, and then just go for it, “I don’t regret it at all. I really… I really like you, Steve.”

“Oh. That’s— yeah, that’s good. Can I kiss you again? Since we’re, ya know, less drunk.” 

When you nod, a little dumbstruck, Steve wastes no time in cradling your face in his hands as he steps in closer to you. His hands are warm against your skin, thumbs brushing out over your cheekbones as he gently tilts your face up towards his. His eyes flick to yours for a second, and then he’s kissing you. 

This kiss is more delicate than the one you’d shared last night, though his lips are just as soft as you remember. He tastes less like alcohol this time, thankfully, and more like the fruity pebbles he’d eaten for breakfast, and maybe a hint of his minty toothpaste. You can’t help but melt into him, fingers curling into the worn fabric of his t-shirt to keep him close. 

You accidentally let out a small noise of disappointment when Steve finally pulls back that makes him laugh, the tip of his nose nudging into the softness of your cheek. His lips brush over the corner of yours once more as he murmurs, “Thank god you let me kiss you again. I’d never have survived off of what I remember from last night.” 

“You can kiss me any time you want, Steve.”

thanks for reading ilysm <3333

[bowandbrush]

I?? YOU'RE CHRISTIAN TOO?????

AhHHHHhhh brOOoooo it's so hard to find genuine Christians anymore 😭😭 especially online. I've been too scared to say that I am one cause likeeee everyone always thinks that It's cringe or they don't agree with the same things as me so they might wanna argueee

No, but I got so excited when I found out that one of my favorite artists (Chiscribbs) was Christian too.

You can answer this ask privately if you want. I'm still not sure if I want people on my blog to know I'm Christian. It's been really bothering me though cause I'm not really supposed to be hiding the fact that I am just to fit in, but I already made mutuals with a lot of people who share opposing beliefs and I really don't want to stirr up conflict with anyone cause then it's not fun anymore. I feel like I should come clean about it, but at the same time, I don't want people to get mad at me or to think that I think I'm better than them or smth. I srsly regret making mutuals with those people now though. I'm trying to be more cautious with who I become mutuals with-

Anyways, sorry for likee dumping all this in your ask box. I just have a lot of respect for people who are openly Christian cause it just seems so scary to me lol

YOOOO! This is literally so cool finding so many awesome rise artists who are Christian too! And you don’t have to share on your blog if you’re Christian, but don’t be afraid to share yourself and Christ to others!

God says that yes, all Christians will receive hate one way or another, that’s just the sad truth. Like, I haven’t seen a single Christian artist out there pushing their values onto others who think differently; it’s usually the other way around, and I would know. But we can do our Best and share our art and Love to others, and ignore haters. Pray for them, actually. They don’t know it, bless them and love them as much as you can!! >:)

BLESSINGS!!! 💕💗

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I liked Kieran, maybe only because he reminded me of myself as a kid. Constantly feeling left out and being both harassed for everything you do do and never being trusted with anything to even proof yourself capable, like the knowledge about the truth about ogerpon. I still am, working on that, but was way more jealous of other people hanging out with my friends simply because I had so precious few. Idk how much it would have fucked with me if my verbally abusive older sister (I do also have one of those) simply decided that one of my friends was now one of hers instead and kicking me out while my friend isn't saying or doing anything to be like "no, actually I want to spend time with [anon] too".

Obviously his obsession with ogerpon and the following Drive to get stronger is pretty hyperbolic but I did also have a bit of that. Just rejecting everything, throwing everything back at everyone since it was, or at least felt, like its always my family and the people around me just throwing shit at me too. Did I overreact a bunch of times? Oh yeah for sure. Teenage tantrums will get ya, but I really did need that. Without it I don't think I would have ever learned to call out my family's abuse and other people treating me poorly. Since as a kid that just radiates low self esteem you seem to get treated like shit from just about everyone.

Anyway all that is to say, throwing around things like "I think this kid would shoot up a school if only he had access to guns" isn't, imho, great. And I don't even really particularly care about your instance rn, like it's a fictional character in a Pokémon game who cares. So sorry for being the one who got my rant lol. It's just something I've been seeing more of lately, people throwing "they'd shoot up a school" not only at fictional characters but actual human beings. Which I think is fucked. Thankfully no one ever said that to me, but I cannot imagine how hurtful that must be, like if we ignore all the other negative effects it has for a second, when your actual school life was hell enough to make you consider ending your own life, like it was for me, to just get thrown another brick at your head that people think you would be monster enough to murder people.

...well there's a lot to unpack here.

So first up, you have my genuine condolences for your extraordinarily shitty school life. You clearly had the very rough end of the stick, and it's clearly still hurting, and that sucks.

However. I am not thrilled that you just trauma dumped in my inbox because you over-projected onto a fictional character, and I'll ask you not to do that again. Particularly when your "rant" is explicitly aimed at trying to make me feel bad for criticising a fictional character that you, once again, have over-projected onto.

Like listen, I too had an extraordinarily shitty school life, and I also had very few friends (and at three separate extended points, a combination of Literally No Friends At All, AND Being Actively Targeted For Bullying; the first time around, the bullying was led by the class teacher, even.) I have very much been there, done that and got an entire t-shirt shop. But I still didn't come away from that feeling that I was entitled to other people liking me or wanting to be friends with me, because no one is obliged to like or be friends with anyone else. I may have occasionally felt jealous, but I didn't throw tantrums and demand perfect loyalty from the few friends I did make, because that would have been abusive as all hell and would have justly made them want nothing to do with me. And, crucially and relevantly to the fictional character in the fictional world that we are discussing, I did not fixate on someone I wanted to be my friend, see that they were afraid of me and wanted to be friends with someone else, and then throw such a tantrum about it that I physically fought that someone else for the 'rights' to that friend regardless of their consent in that matter, apparently with the intention of abducting them if I won. And on losing that fight, I did not storm off and start amassing a collection of stronger and stronger weapons so I could take over my school and prove my dominance over them, emotionally abusing anyone who couldn't keep up with me because of family problems along the way. I presume you did not either!

And if I had, then the trauma and loneliness I received would be irrelevant - actions borne of trauma are still actions, with real world consequences, and you are still responsible for them regardless of how bad you felt.

(I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, but school shooters are people who are also lonely and often bullied. It's very interesting therefore that you dismiss them as "monsters" while demanding that all behaviour from such people up to the shooting be excused. But the issue with such people is the entitlement they feel and the abuse they therefore dish out. Shootings are just the most extreme symptom of that - they're far from the only symptom.)

I cannot stress this enough - you are not the fictional character of Kieran in the game Pokémon Scarlet and Violet. You did not make his choices, or perform his actions (I assume). Criticism of him is not criticism of you. No one is accusing you of being about to shoot up a school. You state that you don't care that he's a fictional character, but I'm afraid you very much should, because that is the crucial difference. I am sorry that you're seeing a lot of people accusing real life people of being school shooters, but that is not what has happened here, is it?

You're welcome to write back. But I'll warn you very clearly - I am absolutely not at home to you trauma dumping further, or trying to make me feel guilty for talking about a fictional character because you have over-projected and therefore are taking it personally. That is a You Problem, and I will block you without reading if you do.

However, I am going to finish by reiterating my very genuine sympathies for your school experience. It truly was an appalling time for me, and it seems like it was for you, too. I hope you can process that trauma now, and find peace.

[misfithive]

Thank you for the way you handled that ask about Wille's and Simon's drama. Because that sentence 'On the other hand, Simon needs to have a bit of more drama thrown at him' made me so furious. It was so insensitive! The fact that he suffers in silence and alone in his room not to bother other people doesn't mean he doesn't suffer enough and needs some more! The fact that he didn't jump on the table or say he feels like dying doesn't make his experience any less traumatic than Wille's. What he needs is to process his trauma rather than brushing it aside, not to get some more.

Once again thank you, you put it all beautifully.

Yes 😭 this is a very common hope for Simon to get pushed to the point of a breakdown but it’s like .. at what cost?😩 He has been thru enough trauma for a lifetime and a half. And the thing is, most people cannot actually stop and process the trauma if they are constantly being hit with more. I think we are more likely to get simon opening up if he is able to find safety which he did not really have. he is expected to be the strong one by everyone in his life. His friends try their best but still, telling him to rebound is the same message him mother gives him of “you are strong”. Bc they dont want him to sit with his feelings and cry (it’s uncomfortable and not the norm for them), they want him to forget about the Prince and move on. Up until s3 he has not had someone to cry to- thats why he writes his songs and holds wille’s sweater. Even when he is talking to Rosh and Ayub in the kitchen if he was actually crying to them i feel they would show it- it appears he probably cried on the way home before they came (this is my hc if yall think he cried to them u can believe that if u want)

i think Simon’s character is very accurate to what a lot of men, people socialized as men, and also people of color experience and how we deal with our emotions. I get that for a lot of people it is cathartic to sob but for many of us, crying like that especially in front of someone else is terrifying. we are conditioned that letting other people see u in that vulnerable state is a weakness (puts you in danger or will be used against you & that anger is safer). I know some men who have not cried since they were children and told me they dont even remember what it feels like to cry or how to actually let the tears fall from their eyes. It is messed up. Is that fair? No. Is it true that it is a weakness? No. But not everyone learns that. The patriarchy sucks and harms us all lol i wish people would understand that and have empathy for the deep sadness that simon is carrying and hiding whether he lets it out or not.

Not to mention everyone deals with their trauma differently and i think it is cool that the show is realistic and shows people dealing with things in different ways. Simons character is relatable bc of this and instead of people saying “it’s not fair that Wille gets to express himself in this way and Simon doesn’t” i want people to think about WHY Simon is not be able to. I know wanting simon to cry comes from a good place but it does upset me a little bit bc even if he doesnt have a breakdown s3, that doesnt mean that the writers hate him and arent doing his story justice which is what people say abt s2. At the same time, if he does have a break down, that would be totally warranted. i'm just saying that if it doesn't happen that's valid too.

THAT BEING SAID. I think s3 is a great opportunity for Simon to hear from Wille that he doesnt always have to be strong and that Wille can be a reliable safe space. I think Wille’s tenderness is something that Simon sees and now that they are on good terms and Wille has worked to rebuild the trust, I hope Simon will turn to Wille for emotional support however that looks.

Ermmmn I’m very sorry that this turned into a dump but i had to get it off my chest.(made a few edits for clarity and spelling mistakes bc i posted this in the middle of the night)

[youremyheaven]

Hello, seeing the conversation I'd like to share my own experience with a bharani native, one of my best friends was a bharani moon, venus and rahu stellium in the 2nd house. Shes very intelligent and talented in mathematics, she was popular in school, and someone always had a crush on her. She was never interested though, as she is aromantic and asexual.

I do not mean to bad mouth her or say that she is a terrible person, Humans are complex and I still have a lot of affection for her since we were best friends since childhood but our relationship turned sour similarly as others have expressed concerning bharani natives.

As soon as I hit a low point in my mental health, she started distancing herself from me. She was always very uncomfortable with expressing her emotions and even more so with handling others, but she basically abandoned me in my time of need. It was quite traumatizing and I honestly felt betrayed by her since we were so close. She herself admitted in the future that she did me extremely wrong, we reconnected for a bit, but her emotionally immature and uncaring, cold attitude and mentally persisted in our early young adulthood.

Me and her were also very close with a magha moon and rising girl, we were basically inseparable for years, but she started to treat her with the same coldness as she did me for seemingly no reason. She also did the same to my other pushya girl best friend for no reason. My magha best friend had a conversation with her and she thought they buried the hatchet, we invited her for our magha friend's birthday but she ended up canceling the exact same day citing a BS excuse. She continued to do this 3 more times for her birthday and my mother's birthday.

She was/is the easily bored, emotionally distant type, but we always worked around that in our dynamic, and this behavior was unacceptable. The last time she canceled coming to our friend's birthday, THE VERY SAME DAY, I finally snapped. I was just so upset at her dishonesty, because she clearly didn't want to go/didn't care, but she still accepted to go Everytime! It was like having a deadbeat father for a best friend! I was so angry cause I just wanted her to be truthful, wanted her to just admit she didn't want to go/didn't care for our friendship anymore, but she didn't even respond to that.

It was just very traumatizing to experience how someone you loved so much could stop loving you in an instant, made you wonder if they even loved or cared for you in the first place, the three of us were basically sisters, I always imagined her at my wedding, my graduation, my life.

So yeah, sorry for trauma dumping, but I think the casual coldness of bharani needs to be studied, cause why are some of them like that 😭

DUUUUDE 😭😭😭😭 i literally have two Bharani friends who are just like this lol 🥲ngl it did traumatize me at one point but then I stopped expecting anything from them and stopped reaching out and honestly it's all better that way. Tysm for sharing your experience because I thought having bad experiences with Venusian women (and mostly pleasant experiences with Venusian men) was a me thing 😬. I think people talk a lot about Venusian charisma, social charm and hospitality but forget to mention how cold, uncaring and insensitive they can be. I think it's one manifestation of Venusian refinement, they discard people who aren't doing their best or feeling their best. Absolutely not people you want to reach out to when you're in a tough spot bc they won't gaf 🥲. It hurt me a lot when I'd call them up (in my case, I was always there for her, hyping her, cheering her, being her shoulder to lay on) and they'd act disinterested when I'm literally talking through tears?? She straight up told me she's tired and wants to sleep lol and then said "you know I'm not the type of friend who can comfort you" like 🤧okay??? I felt really used in those friendships and betrayed as well?? I remember one time this friend who frequently visits my city to hang out with her other friends and never meets me (we went 3ish years without talking at one point) called me one night to make plans for the next day and the next day morning she said "oh I'm busy rn let's meet by noon" and then at noon said she had something else going on and then i said I'm not interested in meeting lol . She always told me she couldn't reach out to me cause of her phone/network/social media whatever random excuse and I believed her cause I wanted to and then I spoke to a dude who's pretty close friends with her and he told me about how they always met each other whenever she was in town and always hung out??? and he was sharing stories of times they spend together and I was so?? shook?? like the same person who cannot reach out to me is hyperconnected to some random guy ?? My other Venusian friend told me she stopped talking to her close friend after she started experiencing health issues and then got surgery??? I do think Venusians only want to stick around for the good times, they're like "party friends" but they're completely unreliable when it comes to anything that isn't fun for them. Venusians are the type to treat people as disposable and then get mad when others treat them that way lol . They're used to believing they're irreplaceable but truth be told, everybody can be replaced esp toxic, rude and negative people. I think I strongly dislike Venusian women bc they're so absorbent?? They love to take from others without giving in return. But it's interesting to me how Venusian men are the opposite?? They love to give endlessly even tho they do expect their partner to match their energy and be receptive to them and not shut them out?? It also makes sense as to why Venusian men are drawn to Venusian women bc the women can be pretty self absorbed and draw in their energy. They're good at receiving without guilt or remorse, they receive like that's what God made them to do.

Edit: a girl in college who "discarded" me has Saturn in Bharani atmakaraka lol, astrology never lies

[darqx]

It’s late and i cant think of a title OTL

❗️For commonly asked qs please see my BTD FAQ

FFFFT IF ONLY MY IRL SELF WAS AS PRODUCTIVE AS YOUR DREAM VERSION OF ME, DEAR GOD XDDD

Oh he has a number of Royal duties and that’s mainly running the equivalent of a country lol. So a lot of politicking, making decisions for his sector and that no one but him is fucking with the trade route, getting rid of rabble rousers if needed, fighting any Battle Royale challenges (not often nowadays). That’s not his daily routine obvs but any given day would have something particularly related to the politicking.

I cannot say if Rire would take someone as a Royal Consort but he could. Other Royals have spouses so it’s not like it’s unheard of lol.

My personal opinion is that Rire is like a master to demon!Strade (cos he DID give Rire his soul in this outcome) but also he’s not tugging on his leash all the time because he finds it infinitely more entertaining to let him loose and see what happens.

I have answered before how Rire would be as a father! It’s in this answer dump. To quote here:

Aristocrat dad, when he is around simultaneously kind of strict (has expectations of child) but also school of hard knocks and doesnt care unless you are annoying him so not overbearing. Teaches child essential things like ballroom dancing, manners and how to destroy people.

Also will not hesitate to kill child if they conspire against him so there’s that.

I’ve had a few of these recently and whilst I’ve answered them directly I figured one being placed here might be helpful.

With Rire (and only Rire for me lol) because he's mostly known through BTD - me and Gato decided that as long as people were using their OWN art, then they could sell fan products of our main BTD characs. So, a) as long as someone is only using their own BTD artwork and b) saying where the characters are from/not claiming the characters as their own, then it is ok.

(though, this is just for me and Gato's characs I think - Gato might want to clarify her stance if anything has changed. I don't know what EP's stance on this is)

Hello! To answer your qs, yes Rire is quite partial to that style (not entirely too sure about the age itself per say but some of the aesthetics and culture, which was already a bit similar to his own) :D

I think there are no real “rules” to having oc insert interaction, unless you are trying to be very true to the source material lol. After all, oc insert is mainly to have fun with an existing concept right? :) With BTD, since the “au” was already like a smash bros kind of thing with characs from different universes (ie Rire from my BP au, Strade from Gato’s TINR au, Sano from whatever EP was working on), there’s kind of almost...nothing that can’t be shoved in XD. This is because whatever rules that apply for our individual aus don’t apply to the BTD one. So if you wanted to have fun with your god/deity oc then you can if you really want ✌🏻

Rire’s reaction to one would really depend on the power level of said god/deity. If he calculates that he has a very low chance of say beating them in a fight, then he would probably make sure their paths do not cross often. If they are of around equal power or he is more powerful, then his actions wouldn’t change much from what we have seen from him already. He is always making sure he gets the best outcomes from things.

(A realm for souls huh? That might be interesting for Rire considering he is a soul stealer/soul eater demon haha!)

I do not, sorry ~

[azxremoon]

Omg someone who writes for brother Nier! I'm so happy I could cry-

Would it be possible to ask for hurt/comfort (heaaavy on the comfort) headcanons for Nier where the reader is his soulmate and just really thinks that they don't deserve him? Maybe it's a modern au, yet they know how kind and caring he is from a distance (and has a massive crush on him) but freaks when he's their soulmate since they think he should have better.

Sorry if this was too much I got carried away and VERY excited lol. I love nier (the series and the man) very very much.

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐑

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈 || 𝐌.𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 || 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

pairing : nier x gender-neutral reader

themes : slight angst, lots of fluff, brief reference to grimoire nier, kainé’s explicit language, modern / soulmate au.

ELLUKA’S NOTES : i’m sorry this took so long, nonnie!! T^T this kind of strayed from the original ask, but i hope you can forgive me! and please, share your excitement! i want to hear all about it!!!

SOULMATE NIER who is dumbfounded when you confide in him about your insecurities. He just stares for what feels like a billion years for both of you, letting the words process and dawn on him until his expression shifts into palpable disbelief. You think you’re undeserving? Of him? Did he hear that right? There’s no way he did. All this time he’s convinced himself that it’s the other way around—that you’re too good for him! Everything about you is so amazing and wonderful, so out of his league, that he can’t wrap his head around the truth at first. A part of him doesn’t believe it and it takes an embarrassing amount of time before what this means sinks in and he’s like, “Oh. OH.”

Kainé and Weiss, for as much as they bicker and nag at one another, look simultaneously relieved when he shares his realization. The former looks him in the eyes and calls him a dense fucking idiot for not thinking highly of himself or picking up on this sooner; though he doesn’t say it outright, the expression on his bookworm friends’ face (past the obvious disgust for her unnecessarily crude language) screams the same thing. Nier doesn’t know whether to laugh or be embarrassed and is still trying to figure it out.

SOULMATE NIER who listens to everything you confess to him as if you two are the only ones who exist. He’s not bad with his words, but he shines brightest through his actions. He squeezes your hand every now and again, and rubs a calloused thumb over your knuckles so very softly. He hums and bobs his head, but he doesn’t interrupt and takes in everything you say, even when his tongue wants to disagree and sing your praises. He’s happy to find somewhere private for you two to speak, to make time in his schedule because this is as important to him as you are. Never apologize for anything—for wasting his time, bothering him, dumping your problems onto him, none of that. He’s here because he wants to be and wants to help in whatever way he can, and that never changes.

SOULMATE NIER who introduces you to Yonah one day. To say that she’s thrilled to meet someone new doesn’t even come close to giving her excitement justice, and she’s close to vibrating in her bed when she’s told you’re his soulmate. It’s just like a fairytale! She makes you swear with the most adorable big, round puppy eyes you’ve ever seen to keep her big brother out of trouble. She cheerfully promises to make you her homemade stew, much to Nier’s increasing horror, and hopes you visit very soon. There’s so much to talk about, after all, and she wants to know everything about you. As much as he dreads how overcooked the venison is or the amount of salt that can’t be safe for human consumption, he can’t help but smile seeing his two favorite people getting along.

SOULMATE NIER who is always touching his soulmate mark. Whether it’s subconsciously or when he’s seeking comfort in times of distress, his hand always finds its way to it. If it’s a tattoo or something otherwise imbedded into his skin, he’s brushing a finger over it and mumbling the name or phrase written upon him. Even if the writing is messy or scribbles, it’s as though he can read it as effortlessly as his own penmanship. He wonders if you can feel it, feel the gentle and mindless caresses despite the distance between you two. Maybe it’s just him overthinking things, making something out of nothing, but sometimes a jolt passes up his body when phantom fingers brush and linger against the mark binding your souls together.

SOULMATE NIER who is always twirling his red string of fate around his fingers. That, too, is subconscious, but it’s become a means of self-comfort. Sometimes it’s a lot more grounding to have it be on the physical side, even if it’s invisible to all eyes but his own. No matter what the form your mark takes, no matter what shape it’s drawn out to be or what the scribble may say, it’s a constant reminder that there is someone out there meant for him as he is for them. And that person turns out to be you and there aren’t enough words to express how amazing that is. Whether he’s deserving is its own can of worm, but the sentiment is welcome.

SOULMATE NIER who’s nervous about starting something serious after stepping out of the honeymoon phase, about being overly physical and affectionate in public. When he says it’s not you, he means it. You’re his soulmate and the feelings he has are genuine, if not overwhelming at times. He has past experiences he’s still working on coping with and it’s not a light conversation by any means, but it’s one he eventually confides in you about. He hasn’t even told Yonah this, not that he would ever, but the words are difficult to spit out when he’s repressed them for so long.

SOULMATE NIER who just seems to know that something’s wrong without saying a word. It’s as though your hearts resonate as one and the longer your remain distressed, the more those feelings intensify within him as if they’re his own. Perhaps it has to do with your bond, or he simply knows you well enough to decipher the little inflections and hints towards things turning sour. He will weasel his way out of it to make sure you can take some time to yourself to focus and calm down, even if it means giving up subtlety and pleasantries. Nier who, even when separated by distance, sends a text checking in on you and offering to call if you need someone to listen after a strange, inexplicable churning in his gut.

SOULMATE NIER who sends you messages throughout the day at random and whenever he has the chance. I’m so proud of you. You’re enough. I love you. I don’t deserve you. Thank you for being mine. They’re a lot more smooth and confident than they are when he speaks. He stammers and flushes as if he’s a schoolboy all over again, and can’t look you in the eye when he says that unless he’s dead serious. Regardless, each word is the genuine article and he means each and every word that falls from his lips. Sometimes he has no reason for sending them other than by a whim, others because he knows you’re not doing well and hopes the reminder will lift your spirits.

© AZXREMOON. do not edit, translate, repost, or share my work on any other platform.

[tina-armani]

I'm not a writer, but being among writers does this to you, so I'm gonna just leave it here, for you and for the future me. Please keep in mind that English is not my first language lol. But my heart is in this little story. Also the observation of the main character's behavior, habits and things I notice about how he is and what he does. Disclaimer: this is totally a work of fiction. ;)) but I tried to write it in the way that's not out of realm of possibility (no wild sex scenes in other words lolol😅) but rather "what could have been if the stars aligned". Sorry, long text lol. Thanks for reading. 💕

DIRTY MARTINI

I'm surprised that you are alone... You are never alone. You are always surrounded by people fighting for your attention. But the bar is dark and empty, and no one seems to care.

You have a martini in front of you, dirty, two olives. I gasp and stop, as if I ran into a wall, staring at you in disbelief. "Hey, you" you smile softly. "I know you". I am trying to shake an eerie feeling that something surreal is happening. Yes, you know me. You gave me a hug in New York. You are the one who has the power to send me to heaven or to hell with just one word, with just one glance.

"Would you join me?" You ask shyly. Yes, of course, I would join you, are you kidding me? I take a deep breath and jump into the abyss. Or so it seems. I sit next to you and immediately break into cold sweat. I order a dirty martini, too. I wanna have what you are having.

You are very quiet. You are visibly tired or upset, I can tell this by the corners of your mouth pointing down, and the lines on your forehead that seem deeper than usual... You ask me about my day and why I am out alone so late. You sound like a concerned parent, but I am not sure I want to dump all my troubles on you. Not yet, anyway. I am afraid to open up, to say the wrong thing that might disturb the fragile birth of this conversation. So I give you a vague answer and ask the same thing back. You don't answer either. You just lower your head, touch your face with a palm of your hand and through your fingers give me a little smile. "You don't really wanna know" the little smile suggests. God yes, I wanna know. I wanna know everything about you. But out of respect, I don't insist. 

I talk to you about the movies you've done. Yes I've seen them all. "All of them? - you raise your brows and your eyes open wide with amusement. You chuckle. "Wow". "Yes!!" I laugh. "Do you know which one is my favorite?" 

The conversation flows, despite my fears. It is because of you: you pay close attention, you are curious, gentle and thoughtful. You look too tired to hide vulnerability, so you let the emotions show. Your hair is a mess, glued into chunks by dried up hairspray. You always look so sharp and impeccable in public, full of hollywood swagger, so seeing you so unguarded and exposed sends waves of tenderness down my spine. 

We talk about movies, art, music and traveling. As I tell you my traveling stories, you get a bit distracted and your face starts to light up. I notice that and let my hair down a bit more, attempting some jokes. They feel quite awkward, but you listen in an almost childlike manner, bright-eyed, with your mouth open. I have good traveling stories. Excited, you share your own. I feel a lot more comfortable now. I tell you a particularly funny one and all of a sudden you throw your head back and laugh, loudly, uncontrollably. It makes me giggle. I'm so happy I made you laugh. I'm so happy that knowing your love for traveling, I managed to find the way to cheer you up. You finally stop laughing and take another sip, lower your head to catch your breath, and a lock of your hair falls on your forehead.

You brush it back with your hand, look me straight in the eye and give me a radiant smile. All my thoughts disappear. I love this smile so much. I love the dimples on your cheeks and every wrinkle that appears in the corners of your eyes. I suddenly feel so calm, like I'm wrapped up in a warm blanket next to a fireplace on a cold winter night. 

I take a deep breath and gather some courage to finally tell you my story and why I am here in this bar after midnight. I'm not embarassed anymore to share the deepest and the darkest... A man like you, capable of great empathy and compassion, will understand. I know you will. You listen carefully. When I'm done, your eyes are full of tears. It's not sadness. I know that you cry when you are moved, by beauty, art or emotion. You take my hand in yours. Your hand is so big, it covers mine completely. Your touch is soft and warm. On a sudden impulse, I put my other palm on top of your hand. You don't remove it. I freeze, afraid to ruin this beautiful moment. The intimacy of it makes my body quiver. 

You become serious, look down and touch your ear with your other hand, the way you always do when you are thinking...looking for the right word... and then you move closer and start talking. You tell me about feelings, about the world, about kindness and gratitude. Your voice is low and soft like velvet, but it carries through the room like there is no other sound in the world. I feel that by telling me this, you are working through your own issues. Maybe even the ones that brought you here tonight. 

While you talk, you make long pauses to emphasize certain words and sometimes you slightly raise your voice at the end of a sentence, almost like you are asking a question. But those are not questions. Those are offerings: gifts of thoughts right out of the depth of your beautiful mind. I am catching every word like a treasure. I can't take my eyes off you. Your face looks especially gorgeous when you talk about things that matter to you. 

When you finish, I am at a loss for words. There is nothing more to add. We sit in silence, listening to the sound of our breathing. Your hand is still sandwiched between mine. An eternity passes. Then you give me a slight grin, gently free your hand and break the silence with a change to a lighter subject. We laugh and talk some more. I'm not nervous anymore. I feel like I've known you my whole life. 

Time stands still. Nothing else exists, just two people, transitioning from being strangers to being something indefinitely more. But there comes a moment when you take that last large sip to finish your drink.

You slowly lick your lips, the remaining drops of the martini... it makes me dizzy. I catch myself staring at your wet mouth, my heart pounding. No matter how hard I fight it, all I can think about is how it would feel to kiss you right now. I wonder if you know how erotic it is: the shape of your lips and the way you part them slightly when you listen and pay attention. You see it in my eyes, the longing. So you lean towards me, put your hands in a prayer position and say, almost apologetically, that you have to go. It is a relief: I want you to stay longer, but I realize that if you do, I will either throw myself into your arms or I will break into tears at your feet... in any case I would embarass myself beyond recovery. I can't take it anymore. I'm emotionally drained. You know it, so you save me by leaving.

You say goodbye, give me a long bear hug. I bury my face between your neck and your hair, trying to memorize the scent of your skin. And then you walk away, fast, without looking back. And I stay, completely still, staring into space, gasping for air, while the whole world is spinning around me. A single burning thought is beating onto my brain like a panicking bird. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

No matter where I am or what I do, my thoughts always bring me back to this radiant smile, to this beautiful face. When I lie awake at night, I close my eyes and I remember our conversation. It was a fleeting moment for you, that disappeared into the night without a trace. But for me, it defined my whole life moving forward. It pushed me through changes you cannot imagine. Maybe I can tell you about it one day, if we ever meet again. But for now, I make a dirty martini, two olives, and I feel you close. In the air around me, in the taste of the drink, and in my heart, forever.  

[chubs-deuce]

Hi, fellow writer/artist here! This is about your recent post about struggling with your writing, and I found that I had a lot to say and I didn’t want to clog up the comment section, I hope it’s alright that I sent it this way, and if its too long or not helpful, my apologies XD

My number one tip: there are no rules! Writing is fun time! It’s kids finger painting with words! Its emotions! It’s characters we love, and stories our hearts or brains or some other parts of us wanna tell! Always lean into what sounds the most fun when you’re stuck! Even if you never use it! <3

In my experience, some writing is better than no writing when you feel like it's not good. Sometimes to get out of being stuck I find it best to just keep typing, even if it stops making sense, or i hit enter twice and start rattling off a new scene or a different story entirely! Sometimes I will literally just type ‘why does writing feel so hard. This feeelsss dumb blah blah blahblahblah fuuuuuck fuuuuuuuuuuuck why do I feel so stuck -’ And so on until eventually my brain thinks of something else haha – literally just a brain dump. Type any random word that comes to mind. Sometimes I just open a clean document and go at it with this, you can always copy paste anything remotely relevant that may come out of it somewhere else later.

The rewrite loop is a hard one, I find that when I'm stuck in that space, sometimes taking a step back and just literally making a bullet point list of the scenes and/or what I want to accomplish really helps! Recently I also started going through and highlighting certain passages or concepts in the document that are poignant to the themes or vibes of the story/ that I wanna circle back around to in some way. Its been helping me keep things a bit more consistent in terms of emotion, and has helped a lot with ‘scene-block’. Bc instead of being like ‘uhhhh okay what now?’ I can always look back through the highlights and see what needs to be carried through more – or it can spark a new idea from thinking over how to get to that specific point you want to reach!

Sometimes when writing feels too daunting to me I’ll literally just tell myself “that’s okay. You don’t have to write. You can do literally anything else.” And sometimes just that, the verbal removal of the pressure, can loosen things up – especially if I do want to be writing. But sometimes, you really just do need a break from it. Picking up another hobby to fill writing time when I’m burnt out really helps me out!

I’ve taken months away from all sorts of writing projects before (both fan work and personal) bc there was just a block. And it sucks. I’m really sorry you’ve been dealing with this, it’s such a frustrating experience.

Honestly, sometimes writing can help you work through something IRL, but other times I find that sometimes the writing has to wait until I’ve hit a certain milestone personally. There’s a project of mine I pick up maybe once a year. Maybe. Because it just can’t have what I need it to until I sort some of those personal things out in my own life.

I’ve also noticed how much your Charlastor Fankid AU has taken off (Love Dawn btw), and you expressed recently how you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the amount of asks/etc with the executive dysfunction of it all (same btw) (I’m also the person from the comment on that - hi lol). I wouldn’t be surprised if some of those pressure-feelings you’ve expressed have bled over into your other WIPs, pls be kind to yourself <3

Think how long people waited for Hazbin content from Viv, or any other number of indie-origin fandoms. When people love an idea or a style or any other number of things, the people it resonates with are happy to give the person or people behind it time. You can tell when someone enjoys making things. When something is made with that passionate spark. I want you to know that your posts really do have that. I can tell how much love you have to give through your work. People who like your stuff aren’t going to disappear if you need to take a minute to breathe, you know? I know the world we live in, and the faux-perfection of the internet can make us creatives feel like we need to be machines, but it’s not true. We’re people. And other decent folks will be happy to respect that!

Creativity and how we express it is very personal, and everyone’s process is different, so I can only really speak from my own perspective here, but you’re doing great. Your work is amazing, and I hope your writer’s block clears up soon!

I hope this message doesn’t come off weird in any way, with this massive message out of ‘nowhere’, my heart just really went out to you on this from one writer and artist to another. I also sent this as an ask bc for some reason sending a DM this long felt weird given that we haven't really spoken before.

Good luck with everything! Always here if you need another creative person to complain to or chat with LOL

- Lizzie

sobbing, this actually made me so (positively) emotional man-

Thank you so so so much for taking the time to type all this out and reach out like this, it honestly means the world from me, especially since your ask here really is oozing with empathy and care in ways that surprisingly hit me in the feels pretty good???

I'm sorry I didn't respond to this sooner but I kind of couldn't muster the energy to give it the kind of response it deserves that wasn't just senseless keysmashing sdkjhsdkjfh

what's wack about my particular kind of writer's block is that I'm more than happy to ramble on and on about Dawn and my ideas for her story in asks etc, but to make a coherent story of it feels like an undoable feat somehow?

I've always had a knack for piecing together a plot out of thin air or based on next to nothing to go off of, but it's actually putting it into a consumable format that I always, ALWAYS get hung up on, and it bothers me to no end :'3

Your reassuring words genuinely really help a lot in soothing my fears of, well, I guess irrelevancy?

I do ultimately write for myself, but I can't help but feel like there's a ticking clock in the back of my brain that tells me I need to make something consumable before the "fad" around Dawn especially passes and most people that would've cared about a fic about her have already moved on, if that makes sense?

It's a stupid amount of pressure to put on myself and maybe even sounds kind of arrogant, but I do thrive off of seeing people react to and think out loud about things I'm passionate about - it's a connection, a communication of sorts, something I'll never not desperately crave.

I've been having so much fun with Dawn and the story surrounding her and I couldn't be happier that people are so engaging with what I put out in turn! So much so that a part of me dreads seeing when that will come to an end ^^"

I'll keep trying though, and keep doing what I love <3

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to reach out like this, a lot of this is something I definitely needed to hear and words can't express how much I sincerely appreciate it ;w;

[giac222]

Time for another Ashley Graves defense post! I’ve made one already. So this is kinda like part 2!

This will definitely be shorter than the previous one. Sorry in advance if I repeat some things I’ve said before in previous posts lol.

I’m basically her defense attorney atp lmao.

I see a lot of people talk about how Ashley “can’t be fixed” and is “unfixable” or how she’s so manipulative and evil blah blah blah. Tired of people looking at her, and the game in general, through black and white lenses. No shade, but usually it’s male players who do this. They need to stop speaking on her because when they do it’s usually never anything intelligent, it’s something along the lines of “omg she has boobs” 🤪, or it’s something loud and wrong. (Obviously it’s not all of them, but I feel like it’s pretty obvious what type of people I’m referring to). Can’t say I’m surprised tbh. The way the fandom (outside of Tumblr) treats Ashley is horrible. A lot of it is just misogyny tbh. I’m in the trenches 😫, because I just love her and she’s honestly my favorite character ever.

If Ashley’s treatment from the internet has showed me anything, it’s that a lot of people can’t handle complex female characters. They don’t try to understand them or their actions even if they’ve been through hell and back.

Here’s the thing, Ashley can heal, it’s annoying when people act like she’s a lost cause (people missing the mark per usual 🙄). I genuinely see her mellowing out once her and Andrew finally open up to each other and fully cross the line, then they can finally grow and heal together as adults. It’s the happy ending they deserve. I don’t know how anyone can look at the Decay Route and think it’s some form of justice. Especially because Ashley and Andrew aren’t even the biggest villains in the game, I mean hello?? They were left to starve to death in their apartment by their own parents, they would have died if they didn’t escape. Mr and Mrs.Graves sold their own kids to organ harvesters, it’s sick. Not to mention the incredibly screwed up government that allowed the “quarantine” in the first place.

Also, it’s annoying when people sit there and act like their relationship can’t improve, the Burial Routes are literally right there? I don’t care if people don’t ship them, but making up stuff such as their relationship lacking care/tenderness, that they don’t actually love each other, etc, is just dumb, sorry. Their relationship is baked into the game, you can’t just ignore it. I think some of this stems from people who have a crush on either Ashley or Andrew too, they get salty that they’re each others canon love interest lol. The Decay Route is just Andrew being an asshole, not taking accountability for anything he’s done, and continuing to dump all the blame on Ashley. Decay Andrew agitates me tbh, but I have a separate post planned dedicated to that route alone, so I’ll get into that there.

Take a look at what Ashley says in the Decay Route:

Exactly! You tell him sister. 🗣️

Something interesting that someone pointed out in a YouTube comment section is that Andrew is actually just like Mrs.Graves, despite him thinking at one point that he’s just like Mr.Graves. There’s a time where Andrew thinks to himself “He has always been like that. Just going along with your mother’s whims. It hits you then, that you are just like him.” The denial is real 💀. Andrew is a very good liar, to everyone else and himself. The eye colors demonstrate this actually, Andrew and Mrs.Graves both have green eyes, while Ashley and Mr.Graves both have pink eyes. Something else I noticed, if you take a look at their sprites, Ashley and Mr.Graves both look really sad and have a frown (😞). While Andrew and Mrs.Graves both have a flat/aloof look (😑). In the flashback before Andrew and Ashley’s blood oath as children, if Andrew goes out on the balcony we see Mr.Graves and can talk to him a bit (barely tbh). Mr.Graves says he isn’t jumping after Andrew tells him bye, so it’s pretty clear he’s struggling with things like depression and isn’t in a good place mentally. I will say, this doesn’t excuse him being a not so good parent though. I mean he literally called Andrew “Anders”, he forgot his own kid’s name. He’s also like a non-entity to both Andrew and Ashley as we’ve seen, so I don’t think he was ever really involved in their lives.

With Ashley’s manipulation, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, she “manipulates”, but she isn’t good at it, at all. Plus, Ashley really believes in what she says. A lot of Ashley’s “manipulation” is just her believing in her own self-hatred and feeling that she’s useless (which she is not useless, but she feels that she is). Ashley’s actions make sense when you realize that she doesn’t want to lose Andrew and will do anything to keep him around because he’s all she has. I mean he’s her everything, of course she’s scared of him leaving.

Despite what people in denial say, she’s his everything too. The players (with common sense) know that, but Ashley herself does not. I hate when people say Andrew is normal and was manipulated into his romantic/sexual feelings for Ashley… like no baby, that is a siscon FREAK 😂. (I say that with love).

Another thing I was thinking about recently was her reaction to finding out that she’s a “tar soul”. It seemed like it actually bothered her :(. I don’t know if anyone else got that impression. “You decide not to linger on the fact that your soul is apparently a vicious, pitch-black mess.” “Guess you already knew that”. The fact that she didn’t really want to think about it shows that it bothered her (to me at least). The “guess you already knew that” could be tied into her self-hatred and how she believes she isn’t a good person. People swear she’s this manipulative evil bitch, when in reality she’s someone who’s deeply hurting and can’t heal because she doesn’t get the chance to do so and doesn’t know how. She doesn’t know how to properly regulate her emotions because she was never taught. I’d say a lot of her behavior is her way of crying for help 💔, because again, she doesn’t know how to properly manage her emotions because she was never taught, which isn’t her fault.

In the very beginning of the game we literally see a text box while playing as Ashley that says “As much as you love feeling sorry for yourself, it is time for a little interlude…” . Even in the beginning we see a glimpse of her struggling mentally.

It’s always frustrating seeing a complex female character who makes very human decisions given their circumstances and environment get scolded for it. They get labeled as a bitch and a villain for “not acting how they should”. It’s like at this point you people are just misogynistic and lack empathy 🤦🏻‍♀️. Yet characters like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho are glorified. 💀

So many people ignore that Ashley is someone who’s been deeply hurt and treated like shit by everyone around her except for Andrew, of course she clings to him. Plus, she’s dealt with crippling insecurities since she was a little girl. As someone who was deeply insecure from middle school through high school, it’s such a painful thing to live with and it makes you sour. We see examples of how it takes a toll on her throughout the game. Ashley struggling with her self esteem is literally one of the biggest parts of her character, so how people ignore that I have no idea. I swear these people play the game/watch a play through with their eyes closed.

It also annoys me when people act like Ashley treats Andrew like shit 24/7 when she literally doesn’t. He’s the one who gets all pissy with her when she simply jokes around and spews nonsense about her “not behaving”. Not to mention him casually bringing up violence against her, even as a joke. Plus, to her Andy really is just a nickname. She doesn’t see it the same way he does, that’s why she gets upset and doesn’t understand his recent behavior.

Also, it’s always so funny to me to see people act like Ashley is this extremely horny, promiscuous sex kitten. I’m like where are y’all getting this from? 💀. If that’s someone’s head canon, fine whatever, but to act like it’s canon to the game is just silly. I saw someone on Twitter (X) not that long ago say “Leyley is definitely an anal girl!” I’m like wtf are you talking about? 😭. I swear these people only look at porn made of her and think it’s canon for whatever reason. Ashley is literally a virgin and sex doesn’t seem to be a big deal to her.

Mind you, Andrew’s the one who’s horny for her the most. In my opinion, I don’t think Ashley would actually go through with having sex with anyone other than Andrew. I mean he’s the love of her life, she doesn’t want anyone else to begin with. Also, based off of the questionable route vision, Andrew is definitely the dominant one out of the two in the bedroom 🤭. Sort of off topic, but given his “romantic” streak, I feel like he’s the type to be dominant but caring at the same time. Love that for her 💅🏻, I’m like enjoy your man girl 😂, you deserve it!

I think my biggest peeve are the people who reduce Ashley to a “hot psycho mentally ill girl” and basically fetishize her (unchecked) mental health issues that contribute to her behavior. They’re like “she doesn’t need fixed, whatever’s wrong with her is hotter!” 🤪. I’m like this is a girl who hates herself and is dealing with crippling insecurities on top of having unchecked mental illness, it’s literally debilitating for her to live with. She doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions in a healthy way due to never being taught which causes her to lash out. Lastly, she was always treated like a burden for simply existing, so of course that took a negative toll on her mentally. But yes, that’s sooooo hot ….. 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️. I’m sick of them 😒.

I know I’ve said this before, but I can’t stand people who fetishize mental illness in any capacity, it’s so ignorant and tone deaf. It never fails to make me mad. Maybe I’ll make a separate post about that topic one day. I’ve seen dudes online ask where they can find a girlfriend like Ashley, and they don’t mean appearance wise, they’re talking about the way she acts. I’m like really?? These girls you’re seeking out are REAL people who are struggling, they’re not a fetish, and they’re definitely not something to fill the void for whatever fucked up fantasy you have 🙄.

Edit: I actually found a really good article from Vice that I’d like to add in. Sort of off topic from the post, but I thought I’d add it in anyway. I’d like to include some excerpts from the article in this post too.

This is from the psychologist Eliana Barbosa when asked about why some men fetishize mental illness in women: “I think you can mainly split this behavior between men who are sadistic—who get pleasure off seeing a woman in pain—and men who are emulating the cultural aspects of misogyny by dominating these women through their low self-esteem to assert themselves.”

This is from a girl named Rachel who discusses her ex-boyfriend who fetishized her mental illness: “I think he was drawn to girls who had mental-health problems because that was a reflection of himself. He also liked to assert his male dominance a lot, which meant he looked for broken birds that he could bend to his will. I don't think these guys want to save us—they want us to stay on the floor, so they're always above us.”

Last one! This is from a girl named Lisa: “The difference between my ex and some other guys who fetishize mental illness is that he wanted to make me worse," says Lisa. "Most fetishists believe they will be a cure, the answer to all the problems. Those [ones] become even more abusive when they realize they're not.”

Guys who fetishize mental illness are truly vile. Honestly, that’s why guys asking for a “girlfriend like Ashley” are so sinister in my opinion, I don’t think I need to explain why. Even though Ashley is a fictional character, it really rubs me the wrong way seeing how a lot of males in the fanbase sexualize the fact that she’s mentally ill and “damaged”, but are also blaming her for everything bad in the game despite Andrew arguably being worse than her. When a guy says that he’d “make Ashley worse” I’m like wdym by that? 🤨 side eyeeee.

To wrap things up, I really do feel like Ashley is one of the most misunderstood and misconstrued characters I’ve ever seen tbh. She deserves so much better. That’s why it’s always so refreshing to see people defend her and have an intelligent opinion on her character (which is sadly rare). Honestly, I’m kinda glad Nemlei is no longer online and is working in blissful silence, because if I had to be subjected to all these god awful takes about the characters and the game I created, I would get agitated and I wouldn’t be able to stay silent 😫.

~

Thank you for reading and for loving Ashley as much as I do! 🩷✨.