Hey so sorry if this somehow feels uncomfortable, but I'd really like to thank you for being like, very compassionate in how you portray Machete. I don't know why I feel so strongly about this but as someone who has been dealing with the fallout of religious trauma and other such problems, it really affected my ability to deal with sexuality and the overwhelming almost instinctual self-hating shame that comes with that. It's something I'm so absolutely ashamed of talking about even with close friends, it actually makes me a bit emotional to see that someone, who might or might have not been through the same, understands how it's like. It's one of the great things about art. Anyway sorry for the long ask, you're great, keep being so strong.
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Starfalls. Again-
This time the endgame version, which I was inspired by while reading the fanfic. I just started thinking about what Steve ended up going through during Infinity War. Lost Bucky again, unable to save him. Lost new friends. For five years. According to Steve's inner clock, he only loses Bucky for two years the first time. And here...five years? Oh-
Then he loses Natasha, his last close friend. Yes, after that everyone who was turned to dust returned, but in the end Tony died. Therefore, a picture where Steve can finally allow himself to collapse. Release the burden of emotions. Mourning and at the same time relief that his Bucky is alive.
There..there are a lot of emotions there, really...
Oh and I enjoyed drawing this-- although I've gotten really into rendering again, I...yeah, I'm starting to feel more confident in drawing people. :']
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Moving out...
Previous chapter
Next chapter Coming soon
And this is the reason why my mother must never read this comic...
Relationship with parents can be really tricky especially at that age (oh how I loved finally moving out !)
We don't see much here,between Claire and her mother but I wanted to keep it subtle. I hope you felt the things I wanted you to fell (pain) haha
I hope you're all fine and safe, take care you all <3
If you like my work and want to see exclusive content, you can support me on Patreon
Very first chapter of this AU
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Thinking about waiting for Ghost to be ready for a relationship (kind of continued from this post
(Kinda angsty, self doubt/depreciating thoughts)
When you ask 'What are we?', he panics. He doesn't know. He isn't ready to be a boyfriend, to meet your parents, to open up about his life-
His internal monolog is interrupted by your hand on top of his own. He hadn't realized how anxious he must have appeared- sweaty, hands trembling, shallow breaths, the works. He felt like he was being strangled, and all of this was over a simple question. Why did he ever think he could do this?
You tell him it's okay. You tell him you don't need an answer now if he's not ready. You say that you're fine with the way things are, and if he isn't ready to move forward yet, you'll wait for him.
You tell him you'll always love him regardless.
The world might as well have stopped spinning, because you love him?
He wants to tell you he loves you too, but he's scared. He's still waiting for you to leave. For him to lose feelings. For this to all have been a huge waste of time, or for you to realize you deserve better as soon as he confesses how he really feels.
For a split second, he thinks about leaving. About ghosting you. Maybe even breaking up with you- but that would require him to admit there was something there in the first place. It felt like you had snaked your way around his heart and were squeezing with all your might.
God, he couldn't imagine himself without you. He felt like a fool, naive and childish all over again. Why were you so patient with him? Couldn't you see there was something rotting inside of him?
Once again, he's dragged out of his mind by your presence. You look worried. He can't fathom why you would be worried about him. Nonetheless, he squeezes your hand in return. A simple gesture, but it means the world to you. You know he's trying. You know he's fighting with himself and losing half the battles.
You're determined to win the war.
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Promises you must make to yourself (and keep) when it's time to detach with love
I will stop trying to control anyone but myself.
I will set boundaries with this person, and I will not rescind those boundaries.
I will make those boundaries clear.
I will not give in to temper tantrums, threats, tears, bargaining, guilt trips, or other manipulative tactics. Instead, I will walk away.
I will stop doing things for them that they are capable of doing for themselves, and should be doing for themselves.
I will stop "loaning" them money I know I'm never going to get back.
I will let them be responsible for their own lives, and their own choices, and I will take responsibility for mine.
If it's necessary, I will remove myself and any children and/or pets from the household, and I will get us to safety.
I will prioritize my safety and well-being, and the safety and well-being of any children or pets.
I will not cover and lie for this person anymore.
I will no longer defend or make excuses for their unacceptable behavior.
I will prioritize my needs over their wants.
I will know that I am doing this because I love them and care about them, and I will absolve myself of guilt.
I will cultivate a support system of my own.
I will absolve myself of responsibility for their happiness, their life choices, their behavior, their words, and their responsibilities.
I will regulate my emotions when they try to dysregulate me. I will not lose my cool, no matter how much they agitate me.
If I cannot deescalate them, I will walk away.
I will absolve myself of responsibility for their feelings. I will let them be mad. Or sad. Or whatever else.
I will not bail them out of legal trouble.
I will not bail them out of any other kind of trouble or crisis.
I will no longer give this person second, third, fourth, fifth, hundredth chances they don't deserve.
I will accept that the situation is what it is, and I will stop trying to minimize or deny how bad it is.
I will accept that I cannot change or control them, and I will stop trying to do so.
I will find a sense of meaning, identity, and purpose outside of my relationship with them, or feeling "needed" or "wanted" by them, or anyone else.
I will let them face the consequences of their behavior, and I will absolve myself of responsibility for those consequences.
I will know and understand that I have done my best, and I cannot help someone who won't help themselves.
I will know that, no matter how much they may protest otherwise, I am not being selfish.
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Was talk8mg to my mom's today
She started the conversation :
"Did you see the news article today, they found one of the causes of autism!"
So I thinking it's either a set up for a joke or I'm about to hear the most batshit insane hot take ive every heard thus my response:
"OH well I already know the cause of autism, see I believe in reincarnation and we have more humans on this planet than ever before, and the jokers are the reincarnation store dont have that many souls. fuck it put a crow in this fragile mortal shell, or shove a fox in that one."
(This makes sense to me because ganders furries and autism in general)
Well so apperantly the "article" she read said ibuprofen causes autism so that's a new one lol
She still doesn't think I'm autstic btw
I brought up how some babies cry a lot and some babies don't cry at all she said, thats you you were my angel baby didn't make a noise until you wete 2 years old
THATS FUXKING AUTISM
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the thing about imogen saying that "if getting rid of delilah means getting rid of [launda] too, it's not worth it" is that it doesn't really change anything, does it? yes it provides laudna with reassurance that she is loved regardless of what lives in her head, but it doesn't mean that imogen doesn't still have negative feelings about delilah being there. "I love you more than I hate delilah" doesn't mean she isn't still disgusted by delilah. I get the sense that this is not an important distinction for imogen--she's said her piece, she's told laudna that she matters more, and that's the end of it for her. laudna matters more. her meaning is crystal clear: I love you and I'm choosing you.
but laudna has been obsessed with imogen saying she was disgusted by delilah watching them. she said herself she can't stop thinking about it, and marisha has said she can't stop thinking about it either, out of game. as far as they know currently, delilah's soul is twined in and around laudna's to the point where they are indistinguishable. the only way to get rid of delilah is to lose laudna. laudna doesn't know where she ends and delilah begins. imogen loves her, but imogen is disgusted by delilah. how does that work if they are one and the same? how does laudna cope with the fact that an inextinguishable part of herself is both genuinely evil and hated by the person she loves the most? at what point does being disgusted by delilah become being disgusted by a piece of laudna herself?
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On the weekend, Renee took Robbie out to take his mind off things. He felt more comfortable if Jayleen was there, so Renee came along with Vincent! Visiting the Bloom Garden & Cafe was a nice escape from the busy city and they enjoyed the splendid views! But Renee and Vincent started talking about their jobs; something Robbie didn't want to hear. He tried to block out their voices, but all he heard was their success, making him feel like even more of a failure...
Then he heard enough. He made some snide remarks about their careers targeting Vincent's success and left to get some space. Renee should have known better about Robbie's work situation and went to check on him, "I'm sorry Robbie, we should've stopped." She let him vent his frustrations, listening and offering some big sister advice.
"There's one more thing...I'm a bit embarrassed to say this," Robbie admitted and talked about how he was intimidated by Vincent. "Oh, Robbie," Renee finally understood his perspective.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have said all that to you," Robbie apologised to Vincent. "Hey, it's ok. I get what you're going through, I've been there too," he managed a small smile, "You remind me of myself...when I was at the lowest point of my life." Robbie doesn't know much about Vincent or his past: all he thinks about is how he is now and how perfect his life seemed. His train of thought was interrupted by a gentle touch, "If you ever want to talk about it, I'll be here for you."
Lot used: Bloom Garden & Cafe by @rheya28 tysm for this magnificent build ❤️
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