#she is so pathetic in this season. i respect her. i understand her. glad she does get that one good honest kiss etc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bokutoslittlebird · 4 years

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Family Vacation

Bokuto x reader x Akaashi

Author’s Note : no incest, I promise ; the request included some slight BokuAka interaction, however I made it more than slightly ; the hot springs resort is loosely based on three different locations under the Kinosaki Onsen in northern Hyogo [Mikuniya Ryokan, Yutouya Ryokan, Nishimuraya Ryokan]. Each one offers different things, but they all have some common aspects that I liked: seafood served during winter months [November - March], traditional ryokan, and options for the hot springs [indoor, outdoor, and family] ; holy fuck is this wrong.. but holy hell is it erotic

Warnings: introduction of the Bokuto family, best friends to lovers au, playful teasing [about reader’s virginity], some mlm [Bokuto x Akaashi] interaction, fingering, face-sitting, handjob, blowjob, cum eating, spit exchanges and mentions, no penetrative sex, virgin!reader, virgin!Bokuto

“Oh, [Y/N]! I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Thank you for having me, Bokuto-san,”

“Oh, dear, call me Fuyumi! You’re practically family, anyways,” she smiles, eyes crinkling as she does. Her smile makes you smile, bowing in respect as if you haven’t known her for years.

The Bokuto family always spent their winter vacation before New Years at an Onsen in Hyogo. Yasurai-fukurou was well known for their hot springs throughout the year, but their meals included seafood in the winter. Kōtarō and Shinjiro both love seafood, especially crab, so it made sense the Bokuto family would come to this place specifically. Winter meant snow, and snow meant the garden view from the spring was gorgeous, having the silver lining the green foliage as the pebbles along the ground glistened with melted snow, cold and slippery. It was Kōtarō’s and Machiko’s favorite season, so it was an added bonus. The family had the money to spend, treating the members to a relaxing trip. Even Keiji, Kōtarō’s friend, joined them his first year at Fukurodani.

You didn’t usually attend, yet you always wanted to. Your family celebrated holidays differently, so you often found yourself swamped with family activities around December, only getting free to hang out by the time school started back up. Always wishing to go, you finally got your wish this year. With the stress from school this past semester, your family decided to let you choose what to do, so you declined spending the holidays with your family. Instead, you were free to spend that quality time with the Bokuto family. Fuyumi practically begged Kōtarō to invite you, knowing you’d be alone, so you didn’t have to worry about inviting yourself. There was one problem, however.

“[Y/N] should room with us!” Machiko points out. “She can’t board with boys!”

“What do you take us for? We’re her best friends,” Kōtarō waves off his sister. “I worry Amaya might try to wrestle her,”

“She could use the practice!” She pipes up, only to be shut back down. “I wouldn’t hurt her,”

“Why not let the girl choose herself? It is where she will stay, in the end,” Shinjiro said. Although he was right, you suddenly felt your heart tugging in two different directions. Machiko and Kōtarō gave you the puppy dog eyes, begging to choose them. A heavy sigh came from you as you weigh the options presented in front of you.

“I trust Keiji and Kōtarō, I’ll room with them,”

“No!” The two girls dramatically shout, falling to their knees. Fuyumi laughs, patting your back.

“Good choice, dear,” she compliments. You know why. Her daughters may be considered mature and adults, but they are both hectic and chaotic in their own way. At least with Kōtarō, he has Keiji with him. There’s no reason to mull over the decision, you know full well that Keiji and Kōtarō wouldn’t hurt you.

Once settled into each room, your bedding laid between the two of them, the trip to relax in the ryokan was in order. The two genders were separated, of course, so you sat in the spring with Machiko, Amaya, and Fuyumi. It wasn’t a bad thing, being with the three, but you knew Machiko and Amaya like to tease you.

“Gosh, [Y/N], you’re so innocent! You’ve never done anything?” Amaya’s face made it seem like she was much more malicious than on the surface. “Even I had a couple boyfriends that I had special adventures with before your age,”

“Excuse me? Amaya!” Fuyumi scolds her daughter. “You never told us this,”

“Why would I? You and dad never allowed me to have a boyfriend until I graduated. Kōtarō even had a girlfriend in his second year,” she pouts, puffy cheeks making her less malicious and much more adorable. Though unintentional, her words make your mood sour, Kōtarō’s slipping from her lips. Machiko notices this, however.

“Well, Kōtarō is a boy and I told your father to make sure he doesn’t do any of that dating stuff, but it seems like he did,”

“You know, I’m kind of tired. I’m really relaxed,” you mention, moving to exit the water. “I should lay down and take a nap,”

“Oh, are you sure? Dinner will be served soon,” Machiko holds out her hand, as if to stop you. You’re quick about getting out, rinsing yourself off before wrapping a robe around your naked body.

“I’m sure. Wake me when dinner’s ready,” you cheerfully smile, waving to them as you leave the setting. Your smile falls, an artificial thing as you continue to pad towards the room. Passing the window leading to the garden, you notice the cascading of the white snowflakes, shimmering in the light from the outdoor lamps. It’s peaceful, the way it floats down to the ground until it rapidly melts, joining the slush forming on the pathway. A sigh leaves you, heart aching from the words Amaya let spill.

It wasn’t her fault, you tell yourself that as you continue to the room. Amaya doesn’t know, but Machiko does. Machiko has always had the older sister intuition, knowing when her younger siblings had something to hide or something embarrassing. Whether it was from her years of travel around the world, or just a trait of hers, she could pinpoint things that made you want to crawl in a hole. What does Machiko know, exactly? Your big, fat crush on her little brother.

Kōtarō has been your crush as long as you’ve known him, aka since you guys were waddling around with chubby legs. Your family and his family live near each other, so it made sense for you two to play a lot as children. As the years passed, your admiration for him evolved into a crushing thing, yet your young mind wouldn’t allow such a horrid thing to be spoken. No, it festered until you broke down one day in high school and confessed to the dark of the night, the only witness of your confession was the moon. You confessed that you loved him, you were in love with him, nobody else could compare. It hurt even more now, knowing you were falling in love with him while he was loving someone else. Even Keiji probably loved Kōtarō, knowing how close they were. You wouldn’t put it past them to be in a relationship, either. Each thought accompanied a step you took, each one bringing tears to prickle your eyes as you finally shut the door to the room, and your problems.

With the dark encompassing the room, you found yourself easily situating yourself on the ground to cry, curling up in a ball as you did so. A pathetic scene, you knew it was, yet you couldn’t help yourself.

After you left the ryokan, Shinjiro happened to be talking to the boys in front of him, both of them flushed red from the warmth of the bath and the topic at hand.

“I knew something was off in the way your mother encouraged you to invite her! I never thought it’d be that, however,” his guffaw had Kōtarō sinking into the water, bubbles coming from his nose as he huffs. Keiji looks at him pitifully, but doesn’t do much of anything else.

“She doesn’t even like me like that. This trip was a mistake,” Kōtarō mumbles, his mouth going back under the water. Keiji sighs, looking into the water where his distorted hands lie. Before he can speak, Kōtarō beats him to it. “I have to go to the bathroom. I think I’ll leave early,”

“You sure it’s just that?” Shinjiro teases. “Or are you going to wait for your lovely friend?”

“Okay, maybe it’s a bit of both,” he huffs, cheeks puffed out. Keiji lets the words die on his tongue, letting Kōtarō leave the spring without any reason to look back.

Shinjiro sighs, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks into the water. “Maybe I went too far. I shouldn’t tease him about his crush, it seems like it’s important to him. I don’t think she sees him in that light, anyways,”

“She does, actually. I think she’s been in love with him for a while,” he confesses. Shinjiro’s eyebrows rise as the words sink in. However, he is quick to understand. No longer laughing and joking, his smile is more bitter and sad. A pity smile.

“And you’ve been in love with her, haven’t you?”

Keiji turns his head to the side, yet he nods. The red dusting his cheeks is no longer just the warmth of the water. Shinjiro moves closer to Keiji, putting his hand on the younger man’s back.

“Then tell her. You both need to confess, not let this fester and turn into something ugly. Don’t let this ruin your friendship with Kōtarō, either. It’s not worth it,”

“I know. I know, Bokuto-san,”

“When you gonna call me Shinjiro? Or even dad? You need to let loose, Keiji!” He laughs again, getting Keiji to crack a smile.

While Keiji ponders how he should go about this, Kōtarō trudges up to his room for the week, unaware you’ve also turned in early. His mood has taken a turn for the worse, hair deflating as he pouts. No matter what, he’s always found himself finding your validation to be the most important. Throughout the years, he’s reached out to both you and Keiji for validation, finding them both to be important to him. While he knows Keiji partially does it just to make him happy, which he is thankful for, he knows yours is genuine. Even when he forced himself to move on, knowing you didn’t see him in that light, he found it hard. You followed him into his dreams, gleeful chimes of your laughter as the future he aims for bloomed into an obtainable goal. Yet, he’d wake up to see the empty space beside him, a brutal reminder that his dreamt future would stay in his head, playing on loop until he could do something about it in the real world.

When his door comes into view, he sighs, relief flooding through him. As he gets closer, he hears a soft voice from inside. Leaning his ear against the shut door, he hears you — a squeak of his name, accompanying a soft mewl, most likely held back due to the thin walls. Even he understands what you’re doing, it’s not like he’s never thought of you that way, finding himself wishing you could relieve his stress in the best way possible. As to respect your privacy, and settle his nerves, he quietly creeps away, to his parent’s booked room. He decides to use the toilet in there, giving you a few moments to finish your own business.

Leaning against the door once more, he doesn’t hear your heavy breaths or your moans and mewls, so he slides open the door to see you under the covers, laptop shining in your face as a movie plays. “Hey, what’re you doing here?”

“Huh?” You jump, turning to see Kōtarō’s large frame at the entrance of the room. It’s scary, the way he seems to have popped up after you finished, or attempted, getting off on thinking of him. “Oh, Kō. It’s just you. No more hot springs for you?”

“Oh, no, I found it to be getting too hot,” he lies, rubbing his neck. The robe you’re wearing is the one you put on after exiting the spring, so his perverted little mind knows you’re completely naked underneath. Not only that, you’re probably nice and slick from thinking about him—

He stops himself, hearing your voice. “Did you hear me? I asked if you wanted to watch the movie with me,”

“Oh, sorry, off in my own world. Uh, sure, what is it?”

“Crown for Christmas. A sappy romance Christmas movie, from America. It’s very predictable, but it’s cute. My mom loves it, so I brought it to watch,”

“Oh, that’s interesting,” he hums, lying on his own bedding. He didn’t move closer to you, giving you some space, but he finds himself panicking when you move closer.

“Can’t see if you’re all the way over there, dummy,” you giggle, pressing play. He can’t find it in himself to focus, the movie being background noise to his thoughts. The hot springs help to add a special glow to your skin, making it seem smoother than before, and you smell so nice, not to mention he can feel his cock throbbing at your soft voice calling out his name. What would it be like if he used his own fingers, would you be able to hold back? Or would you come completely undone as you came on his fingers— even better, his cock? Just the thought has him groaning, head shoved into his pillow as you pause the movie, probably confused.

He looks up, seeing your dazed expression — yep, totally confused. He sighs and shrugs, apologizing. “Are you okay? You seem.. tense,”

“Tense?” That’s one way to describe it, he supposes. “I’m just.. dad was teasing me earlier. That’s why I left. I’m.. remembering what he said,”

“Oh, I get that. Amaya kept teasing me about girl stuff, so I left. Machiko tried to stop me, but I was already out of the water,” you admit. It’s not the full truth, but that’s okay.

“Girl stuff? Like what?” Kōtarō never shied from girly stuff, including the weird stuff that happened to girls like puberty and the menstrual cycle. You chalked it up to his older sisters being shameless, never making it seem gross. Even when you started your period in class, Kōtarō was there to help you, a knight in shining armor.

You wish they were less shameless.

“Oh, um, you know, the romantic stuff,”

“Like? Boyfriends?”

“Yeah, I’ve.. never had one. No experience on my end. Amaya was teasing me because she had a couple of boyfriends before my age, so it.. it didn’t hurt my feelings, but it made me feel some kind of way, you know?” Your attempted explanation was kind of butchered, trying to explain it without giving too much detail. Kōtarō wouldn’t judge you, of course not, it wasn’t something to judge you about.

He knows the feeling, being inexperienced.

“W-Well, if you want any experience before going into the dating scene, I could.. always help you,” he whispers. His words hang in the air, settling into both of your minds. He’s berating himself for using such a lame line to try and get in your pants, but you’re trying to find a way to say yes without seeming desperate. However, “I mean! I have experience, so I could help you! I’d say I’m pretty good at doing stuff. Oh! It could be like.. any advice or something.. hands on,” he whispers the last part again, his confidence melting like snow on a summer’s day when your face falls.

It isn’t you don’t want it, you just would prefer him to not word it like that. It reminds you of Amaya’s words and the pain in your chest, the churn in your stomach. “If you’re gonna be like that, maybe I should ask Keiji,” you huff, turning your body away from his. Focusing on forcing your stomach to stop twisting in knots, you don’t even notice when Kōtarō closes the laptop and presses himself against you. Well, not until you feel something pressing into your back. “Kō—”

“Don’t be like that. I’ve never actually gone all the way, I’ve been saving that for someone special. I can help, though, if you’d let me,” his breath fans over your ear, sending shivers down your spine. His arm snakes under you, pulling you into his stomach while he lays on his back.

“Kōtarō!”

“You’re stressed, gotta loosen up a bit. I’m helping,” he just says, making sure your legs are hooked over his. With the lack of clothing under the robe, your nether region is spread open towards the door, sending your adrenaline skyrocketing. Kōtarō is quick to ease that, his thick fingers spreading open your folds while his middle finger rubs against your sensitive clit. “You’re absolutely soaked, do I turn you on that much?” He’s grinning, you know he is. Gritting your teeth, you keep your mouth closed as you focus on the feeling of his fingers, now sliding up and down and collecting your slick.

Kōtarō doesn’t want to tease you for too long, slipping his middle finger into your cunt as you mewl, hand coming to cover your mouth. “What a reaction. I wonder..” he trails off, pulling his finger out, only to add in three fingers. You’re arching, legs tending against his as he fingers you, lips pressing themselves to your hair and ear. When his tongue flicks out against your ear, you squirm and he grunts, his left arm keeping you firm against him. “Sensitive, are you?”

He doesn’t get any vocal confirmation from you, but the way you’re clenching around his fingers tells him all he needs to know. He makes sure to keep his thumb bumping against your clit, adding pressure. You can feel the familiar feeling, the beginning of an orgasm as he pumps his fingers into you. With a squeal of his name, your nails dig into the meat of his arm, liquids spilling out of you and all over Kōtarō’s fingers. The squishing sound enters your ears, legs tensing as you mewl, his fingers rubbing themselves against you some more.

“You’re so wet.. I bet it’d be easy to slip my cock in there, wouldn’t it?” His voice is low, a rumble in his chest as your cunt clenches at the thought, your wildest fantasies so close to coming to fruition when someone clears their throat. You pop up, Kōtarō jolting and keeping you on his chest as he moves.

Keiji is looking at the both of you, a heavy blush adorning his cheeks. The room is dim, only the lights from outside the inn illuminating him. He’s right at the door, right in front of where Kōtarō was just fingering you. Kōtarō’s hand finally leaves from between your legs, glistening wetness shown in the lamplight. “If you want to give her experience, you need to go over everything involved in foreplay, Kōtarō. There’s more to prep,”

“M-More?” your voice is small, barely a whisper as you find more slick oozing from you, Keiji entering the room. He kneels down in front of you, still held against Kōtarō’s chest.

“Has he even kissed you, yet? Or did he go headfirst into fingering you?” When you shake your head, Kōtarō himself sucking in a breath, Keiji knows he was right. With the elegance he always exudes, Keiji tilts your chin up towards him. “Then, allow me,”

The kiss is gentle, yet not simple. His lips are firmly against yours, molding perfectly as he keeps your chin tilted. As he deepens the kiss, you find your hands grasping at his own robe, feeling yourself lighter than you were when you had entered the room. Keiji moves to pull away, a brisk kiss on your lips once more before swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, sending heat all over your body.

“Akaashi..” Kōtarō whines, his grip on you tightening. “This is supposed to be my time with her,”

“Well, you’re going too fast. Why not elongate the time spent together, hm?” His voice sends tingles down your spine, his hands removing you from Kōtarō’s grasp. “Lay back, Bokuto-san. You’ll get your turn,”

Your brain is going haywire as he speaks, undoing Kōtarō’s robe with unconscious grace. He’s not doing it on purpose, you know he isn’t, it’s just how he is. Once Kōtarō has been disrobed, you find more heat springing to your cheeks as his muscles ripple and flex. The lack of light prevents you from seeing everything, but you’ve always found yourself insatiable when thinking of his broad frame and what hides under his clothes.

“Give me your hand, [Y/N],” Keiji’s voice has you coming back down to earth, yet you find yourself once more shy with Kōtarō’s legs spread, his cock heavy and so large in Keiji’s hand. You comply, though, your much smaller hand joining Keiji’s around Kōtarō’s girth. It’s so much, the way it feels and the heat of the skin under your fingertips. A soft groan comes from Kōtarō as Keiji moves his hand, his other hand shuffling you between his legs.

“This is called a handjob, [Y/N],” Keiji says. You nod in understanding, realizing he’s teaching you. “Moving your hand up and down the shaft is the basic function of it, but you can also use your fingers to tease the slit, like so,” he demonstrates, swiping his thumb over the small slit, puffy and red where Kōtarō’s cum is dripping from. The simple act has Kōtarō throwing his head back, moaning as his hand covers his mouth. The walls are thin and if his family is back, they probably have a good idea of what’s going on.

“I see,” you hum, continuing to move your hand up and down the shaft. Keiji nods, seeing you’re understanding.

“Or tease his balls, like cupping them or massaging. Don’t squeeze them hard, though. It won’t feel very nice,” his hand moves to cup and tease Kōtarō’s balls, the man himself laying on his back as his face turns red, the ministrations getting to be too much. “There’s also a blowjob, but we can teach you that next time,”

“N-Next time??” You squeak, jumping a bit. Whether it was a one time thing or the beginning of a relationship didn’t cross your mind. His words, however, seem to please you more than imaginable.

“Of course, darling. We’re not done here, either. Why don’t you let Bokuto-san show you what other kinds of pleasure he can give you?” At Keiji’s words, Kōtarō pops up with a bright smile on his face.

“Sit on my face, baby,”

“Oh, woah, wow, uh..” you stop, unsure how to politely decline. His mouth and nose, down there? Not to mention your weight on his head? You were sure he’d regret his decision. “I don’t think”

“I’ll be fine. C’mon, I gotta show you what else my mouth can do besides dirty talk,” he winks, sending more heat to your cheeks, making you feel rather hot for a winter’s day, clad in only a robe. Keiji seems to read your mind, taking your robe from your shoulders, the belt falling undone easily from the previous activities. Once you’re down to your birthday suit, Keiji presses a kiss to your shoulder blade, a whisper to go that sends you crawling closer to Kōtarō’s face. He grins, eagerly taking your thigh and placing it on the other side, keeping your drenched cunt close to his face. He says something, but only a muffled noise comes out, his tongue swiping along your folds.

With your back to him, Keiji wishes he told you to face him and watch, yet he finds the scene of you erotic. He may have a bit more expertise than you and Kōtarō, it seems that’s all that’s needed. He smiles, gaze catching on the way Kōtarō’s fingers dig into the fat of your thigh, making indents. Completely forgotten, Keiji spits a glob onto Kōtarō’s cock, him jumping at the feeling. With a few more pumps of his hand, he flicks his tongue against the head.

Kōtarō’s moan has you mewling, the sound acting as a vibration as your fingers tug harshly on the silver and black strands. Though not as long as they were in high school, there’s enough to grasp and pull on. The wet sounds from behind you has your head turning, eyes falling on Keiji’s mouth wrapped around Kōtarō’s cock. It’s an erotic scene, his head moving up as more of the length is revealed, his blue eyes settling on your own as you feel a nip down below. So focused on Keiji, Kōtarō wants your attention all on him. Keiji chuckles, almost like a hum, that vibrates around the cock in his mouth that has Kōtarō moaning.

The tongue that flicks against your clit has you squirming, restrained mewls and moans leaving your lips as hands tug on his locks. Kōtarō licks and suckles on your clit occasionally, then moves down to prod and swipe over your entrance. The position makes it easy for him to breathe, but he moves down further. New position has you squealing, hands flying to your mouth as you squeeze your eyes shut to focus on the pleasure. Another moan from Kōtarō that sends shivers down your spine, heat to your core, accompanying the obscene noises of Keiji sucking Kōtarō off.

With Kōtarō’s nose bumping against your clit, his tongue’s only focus is on your pretty little cunt, sucking and swirling his tongue. The sensitivity from earlier makes quick work of you, hunching over as your thighs tighten around Kōtarō’s head, his strong hands keeping you from hurting him as you gush all over his face. A moan comes from him as he laps at your juices spilling over his face, his own orgasm coming as Keiji takes him down as far as he can. Globs of white cum spurt from the side of Keiji’s mouth, a gagging sound as he struggles to swallow it.

A hand on your shoulder has you leaning back, falling against Keiji’s chest with his cheeks puffy. Kōtarō manages to look up at the scene, gaze fuzzy as he watches Keiji kiss you once more, cum seeping from where his lips meet yours. When Keiji pulls away, his tongue is out, pushing the dripping cum into your mouth where the rest lies. It’s enough to have Kōtarō hard once more, a dark and heavy blush settling across his cheeks and nose.

The thick appendage pressing into your back once more has you gasping and jumping, some cum spilling out your mouth and down your chest. As it travels between the valley of your breasts and over the perk nipples, Keiji takes it upon himself to lap at the milky droplets. You gulp down the rest in your mouth, making a show of it by tilting your head up, throat contracting as you swallow it all. Kōtarō finds himself unable to look away from the scene.

“Ah, seems like someone’s still raring to go,” Keiji breaks the silence, eyes glancing back to look at Kōtarō’s cock, once more standing tall and proud. He then looks to you. “Shall I let you handle this one alone?”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #Mr. Kōtarō #Mr. Keiji #BB.Kinky #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi smut #bokuto smut #BokuAka #bokuaka x reader #cw.cum play #cw.semi public sex #tw.semi public sex #cw.spit

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pynkhues · 3 years

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Hi. I'm a bit confused about the hate Beth is getting for not choosing Rio over her kids' future. She can't print money and boland bubbles is shut down, so she's broke once again, with no income or way to pay her mortgage. What secret service is offering her is going to give her family a fresh start. Yes, Dean as well, but it's about the kids for her. And if she chooses Rio there's no guarantee that she'll get anything out if it. She has no reason to be loyal to him at the moment. Am I getting something wrong here? Because I don't get it how she could make any other choice at this moment.

Hi! SO I’m bundling these two asks together because I think that my answer to them is ultimately the same, and it’s been an answer I’ve been thinking about really since the first half of season 2 when I noticed some of the louder opinions on Beth change within the fandom, specifically here on tumblr, but also on other platforms. I’ve debated talking about it at all publicly because I know it’s an opinion that will probably upset some people, but I guess we’re here now, haha, and I’ve been sitting on it for two years, so.

I agree with both of you, and in particular the latter (I’m sorry it took me so long to reply!) There was a reason I logged off pretty quickly after the 4.03 promo dropped and went and did some gardening instead.

Look, I think this fandom, like every fandom, has a problem with misogyny and I think that that is steeped not only in y’know, generations of institutional, social and narrative patriarchy, but a fundamental lack of empathy extended to women.

I think we’ve seen this misogyny manifest in a range of different ways in this particular fandom. I think the generational misogyny has been particularly loud to me personally, where progressive young women apply today’s standards and resources to a woman in her mid-forties, failing to take into account not only her unstable childhood background which has been inferred since season 2, even if we did only get the confirmation of it in 4.03, but the lack of resources (i.e. the internet), education, and social support systems that would’ve been available to her at certain points in her life.

This is not directly relevant to Good Girls, but a point I often come back to with generational misogyny is that marital rape only became illegal in 1993 in the US. As much as we’re in challenging times right now, feminism particularly around and within marriage has changed a lot over the last 30 years, and Beth and Dean’s marriage is one that holds to a lot of old tenets that have been, and still are being, challenged in the process of that.

I’ve seen this sort of misogyny and sexism manifest in other ways too – simple things like Beth’s wardrobe, and the idea she has to look a certain way to be not only appealing to the men in the show, but to us as an audience. People have criticised her parenting and her relationship with her children as if there’s only one right way to be a mother; the choices she makes to try and survive, which are frequently the only choices she has as you identified, anon, and especially criticised her not prioritising the man she’s boned twice over herself and her family and those she loves the most. I’ve seen the latter in particular evolve into this desire to see Beth punished, and frequently seen that written into some people’s fics in a way that honestly gives me pause.

The point of this post isn’t to say that Beth is a perfect person who shouldn’t receive criticism, she should, and you can also feel very frustrated by her. I do all the time! She’s a frustrating character who’s done terrible, toxic things on this show, but doing those things does not remove her right to empathy. I think that criticism without thought, without context, without understanding, without empathy is something I will always think is, quite frankly, shallow at best and cruel at worst.

Beth is, of course, a fictional character, but fiction is what helps us to realise our prejudices. I know watching the show and reading criticism has certainly made me look at things I’d internalised and maybe thought of less in the past – particularly around issues like nuance and race in storytelling. I can own that! And I’m glad to be challenged and to listen and learn and grow. I just wish perhaps people would also be more thoughtful of how they think about women in this show too, because some of the language, the shaming, the vitriol, the sheer hunger for punishment is reflective to me of a much deeper-rooted problem.

I want to leave you with a quote from Andrea Dworkin who was a radical feminist (and trans ally!) in the 1970s through 1990s, because it’s one I think about a lot.

“Women are perceived to be appalling failures when we are sad. Women are pathetic when we are angry. Women are ridiculous when we are militant. Women are unpleasant when we are bitter, no matter what the cause. Women are deranged when women want justice. Women are man-haters when women want accountability and respect from men.”

#beth boland #femininity #gg 4.03 #welcome to my ama #Anonymous

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earbuds-and-hightops · 4 years

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An Open Letter to Supernatural

[ Spoiler warning for 15x20, obviously ]

I understand that a well-contemplated complaint about this ending cannot be made without first reading the original, pre-COVID, script of 15x20, but in the long run, the initial plan is not what will be remembered.

What will be remembered is what this show created. What it became beyond two brothers driving around the country, hunting monsters. Characters were introduced and developed, and in that, Sam and Dean Winchester become so much more than two kids living on the road. In the past 15 years, the cast, and thus the family, grew to something that would be unimaginable to those who started this project back in 2005. Not only did the characters and their stories become meaningful, but the show itself grew into, well, a family. The fans who have kept this show alive since Day 1 have come together to form what I believe is the greatest community in pop culture.

What hurts the most is that this finale did not do any of that development justice.

The finale (and consequently the episodes leading up to it) reverts back to the story between only Sam and Dean. While some see this as an ode to who they are--their brotherhood and familial bond being the heart of their values and the root of their characters--I cannot help but see this as a rejection of their experiences this past decade and a half.

What’s worse, episode 15x18 confirmed one of the most pure and powerful and goddamn beautiful romances that television will ever see. This story of an angel who abandoned his family and the only beings he’s known for thousands of years, all for one person. I knew from the instant the screen faded to black on November 5 that the story of Castiel will always be remembered, even if his feelings were unrequited. Castiel will always be remembered.

And then there’s Destiel. I was genuinely impressed that this show would even grow to include a queer angel, more importantly, a queer character in a leading role. The queer-baiting and the “bury your gays” trope both make this confession and its lack of acknowledgement that much worse (and is worthy of an entirely separate open letter for another night). It matters less if Dean does or doesn’t reciprocate these feelings and more that it’s wrong that he completely ignores it. Cas’s love confession, this beautifully tragic and tragically beautiful emotion coming from a being who wasn’t supposed to feel emotions at all, is something that, unfortunately, will become a secret that dies with Dean Winchester.

It’s truly a shame that the writers of this show let that happen.

We haven’t even touched the fact that Castiel’s death was an act of sacrifice to save Dean. Dean’s limited reaction and lack of mourning* tears apart this phrase that has become pivotal to the entire show and fanbase: “Family don’t end in blood.” While it would be a lot to ask that Dean rescue Cas from the Empty and resume their cycle of rescue and resurrection, I think it’s only fair that Dean take the time to fully accept Castiel’s actions and words for what they mean instead of simply moving forward as if they never happened.

What’s more, Misha Collins is one of the greatest and kindest people in this world, and he’s poured his heart and soul into Supernatural, just like everybody else. He’s spent 12 years on this project, and the final two episodes hardly mentioned his character. He didn’t deserve this. It’s heartbreaking that his last credit on this show will be a prank call from someone trying to impersonate him, and not something that pays tribute to such an important character and important actor**

The most devastating part of this ending is what happened in 15x19. Pardon my French when I say that that episode, the ultimate climax of the season and latter half of the series, was a piece of dog shit. It’s incredibly frustrating to invest in 15 years worth of television and look forward to this ultimate battle between two average boys and God the Almighty Himself and to instead watch a 6-minute long fist fight on the beach with the only dialogue being variations of “seriously guys, stay down.”

My issues with 15x19 lie less in the storyline that was chosen and more in how they were presented. I am completely on board with Jack taking God’s power and eventually becoming the new God, but the episode was far too quick to have any real meaning, and, as stated before, Castiel’s sacrifice, which allows Sam, Dean, and Jack to do what they do in 15x19, is hardly mentioned.

Most fans agree that 15x19 was far too quickly paced. The plot with Michael and Lucifer was questionable to begin with, but should have been an episode on its own if it were to be perused at all. Michael’s story in particular could have been fleshed out to reiterate this theme of overly loyal sons and their fathers, as well as their relationships with less loyal siblings, but was instead reduced to about 20 minutes of screen time.

Though this is less important, Lucifer’s plan to make a new Death felt like a cheap cop-out just to close the storyline with Death’s book, but we can finish that discussion another day.

The general fan reaction to this atrocity of an episode was that this was meta, and according to Becky, the ending was supposed to be dog shit. This, along with the untouched storyline started when Cas died, gave fans so much hope that the finale would be this amazing piece of art that puts Supernatural in the history books.

While it’s obvious that an hour cannot perfectly tie up every single event and arc with a pretty little bow, it can at least...try. Any finale should, at minimum, pay tribute to what the show started as (which 15x20 did well) and what it became (which 15x20 failed to do miserably).

In addition, a reference to character back in season 1 is incredibly frustrating when recurring characters with actual, well, character go unnoticed. I mostly reference Eileen here, but this also applies to Jody and Donna. Nobody even mentions the other wonderful friends who have helped Sam and Dean along their journey to Heaven. If family doesn’t end in blood, then why doesn’t it extend to include Castiel, Jack, Mary, Rowena, Charlie, Kevin, Jody and her girls, Donna, and so many others?

Dean’s death was sad, I’ll give them that (and honestly, I was expecting it). However, considering that this man has defeated apocalypses, killed Death, and taken down God, his death via nail in the wall was incredibly anticlimactic, and something that could literally have happened at any point over the 15 seasons. While Dean’s death was obviously not my ideal ending, I think it could have worked if it were done properly, and in this case, it was not. That said, I do appreciate that Sam did not try to bring Dean back, as that would indicate literally no growth at all.

Dean’s funeral was...pathetic, to say the least. Sam being the only person there was depressing considering that Dean had lots of other close friends (and you’d think that Jack would pay his respects, but apparently not), however, this is likely a scene that was impacted by COVID and the availability of some of the cast, so I will not dwell on that scene.

Dean’s time in Heaven complicates matters even more. Firstly, Bobby confirms that Castiel is no longer in the Empty and has been in contact with Jack. I would have loved to see this reunion; Cas is essentially Jack’s father, and I would have loved to see how their upgrading/remodeling of Heaven brought them closer together. I understand that the writers were trying to focus this finale story on the brothers, this goes back to my earlier point that you cannot simply ignore everything that that this show has grown to include. Bobby’s explanation also begs the question of why Dean had no intention of seeing Cas (or Jack, for that matter) again now that he has the opportunity.

Secondly, Dean’s instinct to go directly for the Impala was very in-character, however, the editing implied that driving was all Dean did until Sam died. As we know, Sam dies of old age, likely (completely guessing here) upwards of 40-50 years from Dean’s death, and that is a very, very long time for Dean to simply driving around the mountains. It would have been nice to see Dean reunite with other family and friends who are also in Heaven, however, again, COVID restraints.

Sam’s ending was similar to what I and a lot of other fans imagined (not necessarily wanted, but predicted) it to be: kids and a wife, living a normal, monster-free, life. I hate to believe that he doesn’t end up with Eileen (to my recollection, his wife was a blur in the background, and it is unclear if she was meant to be Eileen) however that might just be my bias and appreciation of Shoshannah Stern. While I’m glad that this storyline gave Sam the room to grow and develop without his brother, it also completely ignores everything that he’s been through this past decade and a half, and that is something that should not happen. Sam grew and changed so much since he left Stanford and leaving that life, the life of a hunter, behind feels very counterintuitive.

Let’s not even discuss the wig that Jared wore. It reminded me of the Cain wig that Rob wore in the Hillywood parody.

What shocked me the most at the beginning of this episode was the lack of a “The Road So Far” compilation. I hoped for the full song with a recap of all 15 seasons, or, at minimum, the typical single-season recap. “Carry On My Wayward Son” is such an important part of the show and the culture of the fan base, that it seems almost sacrilegious that the season finale not begin with this song and a memorial to the events in the past season (or series).*** I’m very happy that it was included at all, but I was shocked when Neoni’s cover took over.

No disrespect to Neoni; those girls are incredibly talented and I love their music, however, a series finale of a 15 season long show does not feel like the place for a cover when they already have the rights to the original, and the original is so iconic.

Lastly, I want to acknowledge Jensen Ackles’s reaction to this conclusion. At a con panel about a year ago, he said that he needed to be talked into agreeing to this script by Erik Kripke himself, because the ending just wasn’t sitting right with him. So many fans took this to believe that he was homophobic and afraid that of Destiel becoming fully canon, and he got so much more hate than he deserved, because ultimately, he was right in his first opinion. This isn’t the way this story should have ended. Jensen explained that he had been “too close” to the story, and that it took a more holistic view from a step backwards (the audience’s perspective, as he puts it) to agree on this ending, but honestly, nobody knows Dean Winchester better than Jensen, and he knows what’s best and what would be the best way to finish this character’s arc. I think fans and Jensen alike agree that this wasn’t it.

I sympathize with all of the cast and crew members who disagree with how this show ended but are bounded by contract to support this show no matter what. Especially Misha and Jensen.

Over all, I believe that Supernatural will go down in history (in internet communities, at least) as one of the greatest shows ever. While I do agree that the writing quality in terms of both dialogue and plot declined as years passed, the community, the family, that this show created cannot be ignored because of a poorly written/planned ending. I think that the fandom will collectively let go of this disaster of an ending that we were given and will, just like Sam and Dean, write our own stories. I have full faith and confidence that Supernatural will not be represented by this finale episode, but by the beautiful stories, amazing characters, and the family that this show created and what the fans have chosen to do with it.

Sincerely,

A Fiercely Frustrated but Fiercely Loyal Fan

* I do not count that last clip of Dean crying on the floor as mourning. In my mind, that was a reaction, not an emotional healing and overcoming, if that makes sense. I argue that if Dean were to fully mourn and process everything (like Sam did in 15x20) we would have seen at least a bit of that on screen.

** This is where I would have loved to see some of the original scripts. I hope that the writers initial intentions were to have Misha more involved in these last two episodes than what was likely a voice memo created in 10 minutes tops at Misha’s house.

*** The strange montage at the end of 15x19 makes so much more sense. I still would have preferred that montage at the beginning of 15x20. This also shines light on the video that Misha posted. What would we do without him :)

#supernatural #spn #spn season 15 #spn finale #spn 15x20 #an open letter #no beta we die as men #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #jack kline #erik kripke #robert singer #andrew dabb #that god awful finale #i spent 4 hours drafting this

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ivarthebadbitch · 4 years

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6b roundup

Well, it was a journey! Some plotlines were stronger than others and not everything was fully resolved to my satisfaction, as expected, but on the whole--not a bad season at all. I’m sad that it’s over, because as much as I make fun of it, I really do love it in its own way and I love the inspiration I’ve drawn from it and the friends I’ve made through it. Some initial and totally biased thoughts behind a cut, because this got long:

Best character arc: Ingrid. Considering how she was introduced last season and the fates of the last several ambitious female slave characters, my expectations were not high, so I was very pleasantly surprised. I love a woman who takes initiative, and she did exactly that--and it paid off. She got to be queen through her intelligence, ruthlessness, and knowledge. She raised taxes on the rich and sent an assassin after the king of the Danes. She fucked over Erik and got a new girlfriend(?) to be co-queen with. She did witchcraft and felt herself up in front of taxidermy Bjorn in the middle of a thunderstorm. I love her so much.

Best relationship: Hvitserk and Ivar. There were certain past issues in this relationship that I wish had been addressed, but I’m very happy they got to spend the entire season together because they were truly a delight and the actors have wonderful chemistry. It is really easy to see them as brothers. We got so much out of them this season, all the way from their big fight at the beginning of 6x13 to the tenderness at the very end. I know some folks were confused or didn’t like Hvitserk’s conversion, but I’m choosing to read it as his way of staying close to Ivar.

Best episode: 6x16. This was really one of the best episodes in several seasons, probably because it made the focus almost entirely on a single storyline, it referenced the past in ways that made sense, and it was less interested in doing lots of flashy stuff and more focused on introspection. So when the plot started picking up again in 6x17, you could actually understand how we had arrived at that point. I really loved Ivar and Hvitserk’s parallel journeys and epiphanies, and they had some great moments together as well. Even Harald got some introspection! Hvitserk fucked a literal goddess! Ivar had chess flashbacks! Great stuff.

Best monologue: Oleg, 6x15. The Jesus imagery! The retelling of the crucifixion! The slow motion dropping of the wine glass! The crying! I know he’s evil but man, I love whatever he had going on in his brain. It was a great monologue and Danila Kozlovsky COMMITTED to it.

Best flashback: Ivar and Alfred and the eternal chess game. Cannot believe how many flashbacks they both had to this one game from like ten years ago. I guess it really was that formative!

Best kink: 6x12, Katya x Ivar. She went all out for him, and I have to respect that level of effort, including the fact she kept the wig on even when they were cuddling afterwards.

Best twist: Erik’s death, 6x19. After 6x17, I knew it was coming, but I absolutely expected that Ingrid would be the one to kill him, and I thought it would be with more witchcraft. So I was taken completely off guard that he was taken out by a newly introduced character, and yet her motives actually made sense and it worked. When Nissa came back for him with the pitchfork I actually gasped!

Saddest death: Ivar, 6x20. I knew it was coming and I was prepared, but it was the “I’m afraid”/”I won’t tell anyone” that really got to me. I love Ivar, of course, and would’ve preferred it if he lived, but I think his death was very moving and felt human to me in a way that Bjorn’s heroic death didn’t.

Most squandered character: Gunnhild. I think Gunnhild was actually at her most interesting when she was without Bjorn and on her own. She had this great mix of tenderness and tension in her relationship with Ingrid, and even with Erik things were sort of interesting. So it was a real disappointment to have her arc end fully centered around Bjorn, and as nicely as her death scene was shot, it didn’t read to me as an act of devotion and love that I think we were supposed to understand it to be. It just felt like a waste.

Most wtf: The Bjorn taxidermy, for being both completely unsettling and hilarious. Gunnhild having big emotional monologues with it...Ingrid performing witchcraft in front of it...absolutely impossible to take seriously. A statue would’ve done the trick without being a total distraction, but this is Vikings, so...Bjorn taxidermy it is!

Most boring storyline: Ubbe and the starvation boat/GOLDEN LAND. Well...they were on a boat. And then they weren’t on a boat. It was all very pretty and of all the original cast, I am glad they brought Floki back, but the storyline as a whole lacked tension and the character arcs (such as they were) just were not compelling.

Most unnecessary death: Asa, 6x13. I hated that they killed her off, but if they were going to do it, then I wish they had actually made it figure more into Ubbe and Torvi’s relationship instead of getting immediately dropped. The whole “it wasn’t your fault, it was fate, I don’t want to talk about it anymore” did not cut it for me, and it felt like a completely missed opportunity for both of them. It ended up being something for Torvi to be sad about for an episode or two, and that was it.

Worst sex scene: Gunnhild x Erik. I will say that Erik had a sex scene that was clearly worse for him later on, but Gunnhild x Erik was kind of just pathetic and uncomfortable, and it was made worse by him bouncing immediately after they were done. Nobody was enjoying themselves. Plus, we got this instead of what would have been an incredible Oleg x Hvitserk (x harem girl?) sex scene. Lame!

Most uncomfortable implications: The GOLDEN LAND, which was not as uncomfortable and racist as it could have been, but the weird colonization fantasy was in full swing. All the scenes of “unspoiled” nature, land of abundance, the assumed right of Ubbe et al. to settle it because it was Ragnar’s “dream”...eh. Not feeling it. Runner up: Ivar’s monologue about his bloodline in 6x18, because any discussion of “Nordic bloodlines” starts veering REAL quick into white supremacist territory. So yeah, wish we had skipped that.

#vikings #vikings spoilers

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carriagelamp · 4 years

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September Book Roundup, back-to-school edition aka The Season Of Red apparently?

Here is a selection of the books I’ve read this month. Summer is over, so the little bit of brain power I had managed to scrape together is quickly disintegrating, so enjoying the hodge podge of stories.

Binti

This was probably my favourite book that I read this month. It’s a novella I first heard about hear on tumblr and went to find a copy in my library. I have since bought the collected trilogy so I can read book two and three at my leisure because it was honestly just that friggin cool. This is exactly my flavour of scifi and I tend to be very very picky about the scifi I consume. It’s about a girl named Binti, a member of the Himba people (a real group of indigenous people from Namibia). They are a people well known for their mathematical and technical prowess, but due to their strong connection to their homeland and the earth they choose not to travel through space like so many other humans do. However, when Binti secures a position at Oomza University, the greatest university in the galaxy, she chooses to go against her family’s wishes and traditions in order to set out into space to attend. Everything is ruined though when her spaceship is attacked by a hostile alien race and everyone is killed but Binti, who must rely on all her intellect and abilities if she wants any chance at survival.

A seriously cool book with great world building – it really successfully introduces readers not only to the fictional scifi world and races of the novel but also to the culture and traditions of the Himba people. It’s a quick read, and feels like a cross between Dead Space and Tamora Pierce. Would totally recommend a read.

Fake Blood

A Canadian graphic novel. It was a goofy cute read. It’s about an awkward group of friends in middle school, and one boy with a crush on one of the girls in his class. Knowing her love for vampire stories, AJ decides, like any self-respecting middle schooler, to try to pretend he’s a vampire. Naturally nothing goes right and some things go wrong in unexpected ways. It’s funny and cute. Nothing amazing but it was a cozy evening read.

The Last Book On The Left

I’ve been listening to this podcast a lot since my friend recommended it to me and finally decided to read their book. For those that don’t know, The Last Podcast On The Left is a immaculately researched comedy podcast that’s hosted by Ben Kissel, Marcus Parks, and Henry Zebrowski, and explores the darker realms of human nature. Ghosts, paranormal, aliens, cults, and of course serial killers. In this book they collected several of their biggest name serial killer series, did some renewed research, and put together a book that is both informative, irreverent, gross, and very funny, complete with some really amazing illustrations by Tom Neely. A very cool read (and listen, if you decide to check out the podcast instead), I really love how they tell these stories without idolizing or romanticizing the people they talk about. Their humour always makes sure you know exactly how much of a pathetic loser these people are. Fantastic true crime, from someone who has never really felt the need to read about true crime before.

Midnight Sun

I won’t harp on this one, everyone is already going to firmly have their opinions here. I grew up on Twilight, I was reading them as they came out, and I still love them. Were they dumb? Oh my god yes. Did they have problems? Sure, they came out in 2005 it was part and parcel. Were they also a really fun for a thirteen year old to read? Absolutely, I don’t regret it. Sometimes teenage girls should just to get like things without being mocked.

Anyway, I am off my soapbox now (can you tell this is still a raw spot for me?) I unironically loved this book! Getting to see Edward’s perspective was really cool, and since he can read minds it essentially let you get the perspective of everyone else around him too. The Cullens family is a great set of characters so it was really cool to see more of them, and I was very impressed by how Stephenie Meyers took a YA romance she wrote in 2005 and was able to make it feel updated and more appropriate for a 2020 audience even though she couldn’t actually change any of the events themselves. So fans of Twilight, don’t be ashamed, go read Midnight Sun and have the shameless fun you deserve. Is there anymore appropriate book for the bizarre ass year that was 2020 than a return to this goofy nonsense?

The Paperbag Princess

(and Up, Up, Down, and Robert Munsch in general)

I’m back in schools so I’m back to reading children’s book! And honestly, and of you that don’t occasionally sit down and read a kids book out loud don’t know what you’re missing. Anyway, Robert Munsch is a Canadian author, and one of my all-time favourite children’s authors. It surprised me to learn he isn’t as well known in the States apparently? I don’t know if that’s changed or not, but he is a Canadian staple for a good reason, his books have ridiculous premises, are specifically written to be fun to read out loud, and have beautiful, involved, and hilarious illustrations. The Paperbag Princess is one of my absolute favourites, and as a kid it was one of the first stories I had ever read where a princess is the one saving the prince… and then telling the prince to piss off when it turns out he’s a jerk. Up, Up, Down is another favourite I reread this month, because it’s just hilarious funny and makes a fantastic read aloud with kids. Some other Robert Munsch I reread this month include: Mmm, Cookies, More Pies, Ribbon Rescue, Just One Goal, and Andrew’s Loose Tooth. You just cannot go wrong, for kids or adults.

Pit Pony

Another Canadian staple while I was growing up. If you’re a young adult know who went through the Canadian elementary school system, you probably had your entire heart ripped out and stepped on by this chapter book. It’s a historical fiction that looks at the economic hardship, debt slavery, child labour, and animal abuse that was tied to coal mining in the Maritimes. Finding a copy was harder than I would have expected give how pervasive it was a decade or so back, but reading it again was a pure shot of nostalgia.

Seeking Refuge

A graphic novel written by a German-born Canadian about a Jewish girl who flees Nazi-occupied Austria by way of Kindertransport to become a child refuge in England. It follows her as she is moved from host family to host family as the war continues to pick up and gradually makes it’s way to the United Kingdom as well. It’s very poignant and the pencil-sketch illustrations are an interesting change to a lot of the graphic novels that are out right now. This story is still aimed at a younger audience, so it never gets too brutal but it still is a hard hitting story, especially with everything else going on right now.

Silver Spoon #9/10

I know I’ve talked about these books before, but my library got some more since I last read them, so I’m continuing my way through the series. It’s about a teenaged boy who, after having a breakdown from the pressure he was feeling to study and succeeded, decided not to attend an academic, urban high school, but rather to apply for an agricultural high school so he could live in the dorms, far away from his parents. The series just gets more and more heartwarming as it continues. It’s all about failure and overcoming and how worth can be measured in different ways, and about family and understanding each other and coming together… but also about the realities of farming which aren’t always very nice, especially when it comes to finances and survival. It’s written by the mangaka behind Fullmetal Alchemist but I’ll be honest… I think I like this series more. It is honestly one of my all time favourite manga series, it just has so much heart.

Ruby Finds A Worry

aka Ruby’s Worry apparently? I can’t figure out why this has more than one title. I actually read it in French not English, so for me it was Le Souci de Calie. Regardless, this was a nice little picture book for talking about worries and anxieties with children… especially with the amount of Covid stress a lot of kids are dealing with. It explains in a really nice way how talking about anxieties are often the best way to make them more manageable, and how pretending nothing is wrong can just let it grow bigger and bigger. A good explanation for kids and possible a good reminder for adults.

War of the Realms: Journey Into Mystery

I read this because the Mcelroy family wrote it so I figured Hey! Why not give it a go! And I’m glad I did. Their brand of humour was all over it, and it made the story a delight to read. I don’t follow all of Marvel’s weirdness, so I didn’t actually know most of the characters (Miles and Kate were actually the only two I was familiar with) but they do a great job of introducing the characters and making them all feel distinct and interesting. I absolutely adore the Dog of Gods (God of Dogs) who is a very very good boy. And Miles is absolutely always a delight so you can’t really lose. It’s a single book that I think is a part of a larger plotline that I have zero interest in. This book is a fine one to read though if you don’t mind jumping into the middle of the action and just getting swept along for the ride. Also Mcelroys!

Witcher Omnibus

Bleh. Absolutely not worth it. All the misogyny and Dumb Bullshit that I hate in the original books and from video games in general. Honestly, Witcher III did way better by its characters than most of these short stories. The only one worth reading in it is Curse Of Crows – that one was actually really enjoyable, probably because it was about Ciri and had an actual fucking woman on the writing team. (Seriously guys what were you thinking with Fox Children that’s literally just a story from Season of Storms but done worse. Fuck off.) If you like The Witcher, go read Curse of Crows and skip every other story in this book.

Billy Stuart: Les Zintrépides #1

Another French (Quebecois) book I read, though I believe you can get it in English as well (Billy Stuart and the Zintrepids). It’s a chapter book / graphic novel hybrid, and was honestly a fairly fun little read. It’s in a similar vein to Geronimo Stilton but done much better in my opinion. The humour was funnier, the characters felt less like caricatures, and while it still used stylized fonts it was also less intrusive and eye-strainy than the Stilton books. Also when the story suddenly pivots into the main adventure and mystery of the series? Fantastic. Was not expecting a hell-beast to appear part way through the story. Very interested in reading more.

Over all, it was cute and funny, and I can see it being a good next step when children have read their fill of the Stilton series and want something similar but possibly a bit more involved and coherent.

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yenslilac · 5 years

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Daenerys Targaryen and Ophelia: An Essay

I wrote this a while back, just after Season 8 ended. After a few edits, I decided to share it with you! Disclaimer: I wrote this fueled with rage at 11 at night for two weeks straight. Don’t judge.

Part 1: The Heroine Goes Absolutely Bats**t Crazy

Ophelia. Known throughout time as That Crazy Chick Who Drowned Herself. What a legacy. And Daenerys: She Who Toasted A City Like Marshmallows And Then Was Offed By Her Nephew/Lover. The sad thing is, these are my heroes. What a life. But the ‘Insane Heroine’ trope is prevalent in many forms of media – Dark Phoenix is another example. At first glance, Daenerys and Ophelia have very little in common; Daenerys is a powerful and assertive leader, and Ophelia is a background love interest. The one thing that unites them – they go crazy because of rejected love. While their descent into madness is slightly different; Ophelia is pitiful, Daenerys aggressive, both end up dying indirectly or directly as a result of their lover. Lovely. Let’s talk first about Ophelia – She is rebuffed Hamlet, the original pathetic sad boy, and at the death of her father, goes insane. After several performances of her insanity, she makes her way to a river where she falls (or throws?) herself into the water and drowns. This is witnessed by Gertrude, who then goes on to tell her brother Laertes of her death. It’s a pretty monologue, describing the flowers and plants growing along the riverbank, and how pretty and peaceful she looked as she sank under water and DIED. Remember this. Then my girl Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men etc. etc. Oh boy. Ohhhhhh boy. What can I say except **************** ***** ** **********. Thank you for your time. But she like Ophelia, was scorned by her Boyfriend Who Felt It Was Just A Little Weird That She Was His Aunt. But like, your paternal grandparents and the rest of your great-whatever grandparents were siblings, and your maternal grandparents were cousins so… But I digress. Wait no, this is what it’s all about. I’m back! I un-digress! So, she goes ‘insane’ cause she can’t get laid (don’t we all?) and roasts a whole lot of people and becomes… Hitler for some reason… So, Boyfriend Who Felt It Was Just A Little Weird That She Was His Aunt And Really Wishes He Can Just Catch A Break For Once Is It Really Too Much Too Ask is egged on by Murder Sister™ and Smarty Pants McGee to kill her. Just like my friends! He makes out with her and stabs her (best of both worlds!) and she dies. Very prettily. Remember this. You know. YOU KNOW I’m going to rant about this.

Part 2: Heroic Man Kills The Crazy Lady Like The Feral Dog She Is (But Feels Sad About It)

Trope as old as time… why is this still fine… surely there’s a better plot deviiiiiice. “Duty is the death of love…” Shut up. Shut up. No, it isn’t. There is a thing called multitasking. You should try it. But let’s recap. Woman goes crazy because of lover/hero of the story rebuffing her because he’s got issues of his own that he doesn’t care to share with her, and close friend/family member is killed. This is when the paths of the Hero diverge. Hamlet does not actually kill Ophelia himself, but his careless actions towards her eventually drive her to suicide. Jon, on the other hand, does kill Daenerys, (no, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed) by a knife to the heart while snogging her. (I’d like to take the opportunity to say that this was ridiculous and yes, I will die mad about it.) What else is similar? Hamlet holds Ophelia’s (or in some adaptations tries to) dead body in his arms as she is about to be buried and Jon holds Daenerys as she dies. They cry and wish it didn’t have to be this way, but really guys, this is Your Fault.

The problem with this trope in particular (and I’m talking about a lot of other examples here, like Dark Phoenix and Wolverine) is that it renders the killer sympathetic. They didn’t want to do this, but it was for the good of humanity, it was a mercy, blah blah blah. Really? Did someone make you kill her? No, a sense of moral justice does not count. Hamlet abuses and humiliates Ophelia then claims he loved her so much that ‘forty thousand brothers could not…” Creepy. I have to say, creepy. And Jon Snow. “Was it right? It doesn’t feel right…” I’m glad you came to that conclusion. I really am. But I knew this from the moment you stuffed that butter knife into her spleen, so honestly you don’t have any business feeling sorry for yourself. If there’s one lesson that Game of Thrones and Shakespeare has taught me, it is:

(not an artist, don’t judge)

Part 3: Someone Died And The Director Said, “Cool But Like… Make It Fashion.”

Do you remember what I told you to remember? Did you? Cause I’m about to RANT.

Throughout time (like 500 years) men have been painting Ophelia’s drowning – the probable suicide of a tormented young woman – and made sure she looked hot while doing it. True, the description of her death is pretty and all, but depictions of her floating just below the surface, a dramatic and lovely pose and flowers strewn around her glamorise her death – something many other people have taken note on – and give her death something of a peaceful, serene departing note, rather than the death of a woman so deranged she did not appear to understand the gravity of her situation as she sank under water. Daenerys suffers a similar case of SDPS (Sexy Dead Person Syndrome). Let’s go through it step by step, shall we? While in an embrace with someone she loves and trusts, she is stabbed in the heart area (I guess?), and she dies. The End. My respect for white men flew off with Drogon. But I haven’t complained properly yet! Compared to other characters, like Myrcella, Joffrey and Catelyn Stark to name a few, her death was very clean. In these other examples, blood runs down their faces or spurts out of their neck in suitably graphic fashion but Daenerys’ case, two thin lines of blood trickle from her nose and mouth. Pretty, pretty. We get a brief shot of a pool of blood on the snow as Drogon picks her up, but blink and you’ll miss it. She looks shocked and confused as she dies, yet the next shot of her face shows her eyes are closed and an almost peaceful expression on her face. Not only this but we don’t actually get any proper Last Words, when she knows she is about to die. She makes no sound at all. She dies prettily and quietly. We also don’t see the knife at all until she is dead, removing any very graphic nature from the scene. A lot of the camera shots are of Jon’s face. This scene is not about Daenerys Targaryen’s death; This is about Jon Snow’s inner turmoil as he selflessly sacrifices the woman he loves to save the rest of the world. Hold up one second I gotta……

I mean, come on. Daenerys is barely mentioned after her death. She, a woman who freed hundreds, no, thousands of slaves and worked hard to reach her goals (albeit a little dragonfire-y) yet she dies without a whisper and is forgotten almost immediately. She becomes less of a central character and more of a catalyst for other men’s rise to power (see Bran the Broken). Wait, what about Sansa, you cry? Well, at this point, she was so out of character I’m striking her from the narrative. Bye bitch 😊 The same goes for most of the other women in the last season. They become plot devices with a little agency and that’s about it. Missandei? Unnecessarily killed to create the “Mad Queen”. Cersei? A compelling villain reduced to a ‘crying girl who wants to be comforted’. Arya? Kills the Night King and then, I dunno. Sansa? Suspicious of Daenerys because of reasons, betrays her brother/cousin because she doesn’t want Daenerys on the throne, then just ‘forgets’ about this whole thing to become Queen in the North. Brienne? Honourable knight left sobbing after her one (k)night stand left her. Another thing that many of these women have in common (the ones who survived to the final episode anyway) is that none of them have romantic endgames despite this being set up. Arya and Gendry have been close friends in Season 2 and 3, then <3 and everyone (i.e. me) thought that you know, they get together and stuff, because that’s what the writers seemed to be setting up. But nope. Arya’s all like ‘I wanna kill the queen’ (which she never does) and throws all that out the window. (But Gendry was totally on that ship at the end). Brienne and Jaime seemed to finally stop eye fricking and then got straight to the actual fricking but nooooo. “I lOvE CeRseI! WE’re bOTh tERrIble PeOple!” And of course, the crowning glory:

And the woman who actually does come out on top is Sansa, a largely unemotional, suspicious woman whose brother is now the king and made her a queen because she’s his sister. Riiiight. That’s totally not nepotism or anything.

The End: But Boy, Am I Just Beginning

To conclude, the ending of Daenerys Targaryen was largely misogynistic as it painted a brutal and dishonourable murder as an act of mercy and gave the killer (sorry man, I feel like I’m throwing you under the bus here, but it must be said) a sympathetic angle as a heartbroken martyr sacrificing for the greater good. I had high expectations, I really did, but you just took it anD THREW IT IN THE DIRT. Good god. But it’s fine, I have fanfiction anyway.

Thank you for reading this, if you stuck around this far!

#daenerys targaryen #daenerys defense squad #daenerys death tw #ophelia #shakespeare #anti d and d #anti got

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infantbluee · 5 years

Photo

title: count to eight

summary: in another timeline, maka is killed on the moon and the world descends into madness. five years later, a reclusive soul stumbles across a girl who claims to be his dead best friend.

pairing: soul/maka

rating: explicit

warnings: angst, smut, canon-typical violence, sort of love triangle (though not really because it’s just between maka and two souls)

links: ao3 // ffn

—

oh my gosh, this is my second resbang fic ever and i still can’t believe i got so lucky! this year i was paired with the amazing, brilliant, hilarious, and adorable @ochako999 and @maevenneverland who had a full-time job making me laugh-cry over their shenanigans while also making GORGEOUS art for my fic. (links can be found here and here respectively.) please excuse me while i sob over their talent for the next 84 years because they are perfect.

even more hugs to my ridiculous discord family for keeping me insane, as well as all the other wonderful people i’ve met on tumblr, twitter, and even just by exchanging reviews on fanfics! there’s a reason i’ve been so glad i joined this fandom and it’s because of every single one of you that make it so warm <3

please enjoy the short excerpt below!

—

It’s surprisingly cold this year.

Soul blows into his hands, rubbing his palms together to retain warmth. Normally he can escape Kid’s annual Christmas party and hide out in the gardens without any sort of penalty, but apparently Mother Nature decided she was bored this holiday season and wanted to take a turn punishing the antisocial hermit.

That, or she’s calling him a coward.

It’s probably that last one.

“Hiding already?” a familiar voice calls. “This must be a record.”

Holding back a grimace, Soul maintains a blank expression as he turns his head to see his girlfriend approach him along the cobblestone path.

She’s too pretty to be real in this setting, surrounded by glazed tree branches and the twinkling lights strung all over to make up for the blackened moon. Wearing a dress like that with her hair so long and loose, she might as well have “serenade me, you coward” plastered all over her forehead.

“Idiot, you’re going to get frostbite,” he scolds instead, already scowling as he shrugs off his suit jacket to drape over her shoulders. “What are you thinking, coming out here without a coat on?”

Maka smiles sweetly. “I was thinking my weapon always takes care of me.”

Stupid. He thinks the word twice, both times so pathetically filled with affection. “Did Kid send you to hunt me down?” he asks. “I swear I was gonna go back inside. Continue wooing those foreign emissaries or whatever the hell he expects me to do. I just needed a break.”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s Christmas; he doesn’t expect you to spend the whole time working.” Her eyes twinkle. “Besides, I already handled it. The dignitaries love me.”

He snorts. “Of course they do.”

“Hey, one of us has to be doing our jobs right,” she teases.

“Suck-up.”

“I prefer the term eager to please.”

Soul is incredulous. “How the hell did you manage to find the one phrase that’s dirtier than suck-up?”

Her smile is angelic. “It’s a talent.”

He responds with a growl as he nuzzles his face against her skin, his hands sliding under the jacket he covered her with to trace the artfully exposed curves underneath.

“Soul, stop!” she giggles. “We can’t do it out here. It’s cold.”

“So keep me warm then,” he grumbles. “And anyway, is that really the first thing you worry about when I’m trying to cop a feel? Not ‘oh, someone might catch us’ or ‘what if your dick shrunk too much in this weather for me to feel it?’”

This time when she laughs, he hides his own smile against her skin. She doesn’t stop him, letting her head fall back with a sigh as he presses kisses along the base of her neck. Even when it’s this cold, she’s so soft. It’s really unfair. He’s seen her moisturizing routine. She hasn’t done anything to deserve this level of silky perfection.

“Soul,” she gasps when he nips particularly hard at her throat. Her hands grip at his shirt, desperate, and he decides that maybe getting a little dirty on a garden bench wouldn’t be the worst thing after all.

But then the lights flicker.

That in itself wouldn’t have been enough to tear his mouth away from her skin, except that it’s accompanied by a deep tremble beneath the earth which causes Soul to stumble into his meister. She catches him, always so impressively steady on her size-five-hidden-by-giant-boots feet, and the speed at which she goes from horny girlfriend to calculating meister is seriously impressive.

And hot. Really hot.

Soul’s never been as adept at switching off his hunger as she is.

“A pre-kishin attack?” she asks with a frown as they rush back towards the party. It’s been a long time since they’ve encountered a pre-k without actively hunting one, and even longer since one has existed within the walls of their city.

“Maybe a demon,” Soul guesses. They’re also rare these days, but they still exist. Though the Witch Treaty has significantly put a damper on their confidence.

As they approach the mansion, they can already hear a commotion brewing. Plenty of shouts, glass shattering. A horrifying, almost unearthly slithering sound as fluid shadows spill out of the windows like overflowing bath water. They pick up their pace.

When they finally burst into the room, they’re horrified by the sight in front of them.

“Kid!” Maka cries.

The chandelier is history, now scattered around the dancefloor in a million tiny little pieces. The decorations are torn; the tables cracked and thrown about. The civilian guests have all been ushered to the sides of the room as several witches hold up a barrier to keep them safe, but the real terror is the enormous entity in the middle of the room that seems to have no problem fending off the advances of half a dozen meisters.

It’s like nothing Soul’s ever seen before, even during the worst of the war. A giant, oozing ball of shadowy flesh with these sharp, jerking limbs that regenerate and extend from its body whenever someone tries to attack it.

Accompanying it is this smell, putrid and awful—but even worse are the low, chittering moans coming from its repulsive form, over and over and over again, filling the room like a sickening hum.

“Maakaa. Maaaaaaaakaaaa.”

Soul feels his blood run cold.

Kid, who is currently trying to hold back several of its limbs from further attacking the civilian barrier, jerks his head up at her call for him, his face flashing with horror. It’s obvious how long the creature must’ve been moaning her name by the intensity of the reaper’s panic.

“Maka, get back!” he screams.

In the same moment, she gasps as Soul tackles her to the side just in time to avoid getting pierced by a flurry of sword-like limbs. He then rolls and grabs her hand, jerking her to her feet as he starts off in a sprint, squeezing to get her attention. “Maka!”

“R-right!”

He shifts into weapon form just in time for her to swing him in defense. She manages to block two of them, slicing off three more, before being forced to jump back as another wave rushes at her. The monster seems to have forgotten about the others completely now that it has her in its sight, its several dozen eyes turning to train directly on her.

“I don’t understand,” she says as she blocks more of its attacks. “Why does it keep coming for me?”

“Doesn’t matter,” growls Soul. “I’ll die before I let it take you. The only priority now is to kill it.”

“But how?”

“To your left!”

She twists to the side, barely dodging the next stream of violent hands as they scrape off Soul’s blade. But instead of relief, he can feel her horror, because those same regenerative limbs that had just tried to rip into her heart somehow jerk to the side with enough force to shatter one of the barriers protecting the guests.

He hears Angela among the screams.

“Maka, no!” he cries out.

Too late. She flips over one of the creature’s arms to run against it, slicing at the others with a ferocity that would impress him in any other circumstance. At the end of her sprint, Maka dives, pushing Angela out of the way from an attack and twisting in a way that cushions the young girl’s fall.

Through their bond, Soul can feel the pain shoot up Maka’s spine and he cries out for her, demanding to know if she’s hurt.

She forces a smile as she sits up. “I’m fine,” she lies terribly. She glances down at the young witch and looks relieved that she’s unharmed.

Before she can say anything else, she’s yanked away so quickly that Soul is literally whipped from her grip and clatters to the floor. He shifts back to human form in an instant, scrambling for her with a cry, but it’s too late.

The monster has Maka dangling by her ankle over its main form, the rest of its extensions retreating as well. Black Star and Kid both try to charge at it only to be swatted away like flies and held back with the pressure of mutated shadow limbs.

Then it does the worst thing possible.

It drops her.

“NO!” Soul screams.

It’s like a detonator is pressed. The moment Maka’s body is absorbed into its inky flesh, the creature begins to twitch a jerk violently, pulsing and moving so rapidly that even the meisters have no choice but to back up.

With a horrifying screech, it’s sucked into the earth through an invisible exit, like some sort of oversized blob of goo being sucked through a vacuum or forced down a drain. The whole fleshy monstrosity continues to be pulled through that tiny unseen gateway until it has completely disappeared from the ballroom. Gone.

And Maka along with it.

[ read more on ao3 or ffn! ]

#soul eater #soul x maka #soma #soul eater evans #maka albarn #resbang 2019 #chloe writes #this was the most stressful forty-eight hours of my life and i am so glad we made it T___T

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ninaahelvar · 5 years

Text

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (14/23)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: HAPPY 2020! I’m so excited for angst to be over....but today is not that chapter. i can’t handle it anymore, why are you guys still reading this, it’s torture. ok. anyway. have fun! (little edited, sorry, will edit if mistakes are missed)ALMOST FORGOT! CFOIS HAS A PLAYLIST ON SPOTIFY! Feel free to leave a comment with a song you feel fits, and songs should be added each week to go with the fic. there's hints to future chapters in some of those songs as well!

In the days after, Gendry felt less motivated to win back something he shouldn’t have considered his in the first place. One, she was a princess, who the hell was he to think he had a chance with her, and two, she was a person - what right did he have to claim her as his own, as part of himself? He needed to think - to stop losing sense because he was an idiot that lost everything in one night.

Yet, every time he saw Arya, he had hope. He believed there was a chance for his heart to mend what had been broken so easily in the past. He had snapped them in half, but the pieces were still scattered around them.

With a torn heart, he got to work every day, wondering if he’d leave in hope or heartache. Most days, it was the combination of the two, fighting against one another to win over his heart. And more importantly, his liver, drinking alcohol like it were air, because what else did he have to look forward to at the end of the day. He never went to work drunk, it would be too risky, and although it hurt to be around her without the same emotions as they once had, it was better to be sober than drunk off his ass.

In the meantime, Gendry was being the best bodyguard he could - he made sure that Arya was secure in all locations, and made sure she wasn’t putting herself at risk. She’d get annoyed once in a while, but let it slide fairly quickly.

It was strange though, just like her promise, Sansa and Gendry spoke when they could. It was being discussed that Gendry and Sandor would swap roles for a short while, with trial days to occur in order to see if it was a better image in the public eye. Both Arya and Sansa stayed indoors for these days. Gendry wasn’t entirely sure if it were planned, but he was thankful, because all the time he got to spend with Sansa, the more they got on and talked.

She was a very kind, warm and welcoming sort of person, willing to hear multiple sides instead of just the one. And yes, she was still as bitter as her sister on the whole break up thing, but he didn’t blame her. It was cruel what he did and how he did it.

Gendry also found out two very simple things - the first was that Gendry had indeed won the bet with Arya, because Sansa’s boyfriend wasn’t who she thought, and the second was that Sansa wanted Arya and Gendry back together.

Her father, it turned out, was a chatter box and talked to Sansa about them, about what they talked about that night. Sansa was criminally underestimated by her family, in Gendry’s opinion, because the amount of information that flowed through her was something to be rivaled by foreign countries with intelligence agencies. It wouldn’t surprise him if Sansa knew more about the secret workings of the Northern forces than she let on. As she sipped her tea, the twinkle in her eye told Gendry all he needed to know; Sansa was a woman to fear.

“So, I know a fair amount about my sister, so I can tell you, all attempts to get her back are going to be difficult to accomplish.” Sansa picked at a plate of food that had been essentially demolished from their time sitting in her room. Gendry had seen Arya eat before - which was sickening to say the least, but when Sansa did it, it was down right frightening how fucking skinny she was. It was as though she inhaled an entire meal, probably passing through her just the same. Gendry felt like he needed to go to the gym just watching the meal disappear into her stomach.

“I really don’t understand why you’re helping me,” he said, picking up his coffee and taking a sip. Sansa shrugged loosely before reclining back into her chair and playing with the ends of her hair.

“Because when she talked about you, she was in love. The kind of love I see in my older brothers. I want the same thing for her, and we’ve all had it tough, so it’s only fair that you work it out,” she said, a soft sigh in her words as though it warmed her to speak of it. Then, she pouted. “Plus, I need Sandor back on my detail,” she said, and Gendry smirked.

“Ominous, but I rarely question anything to do with him anymore because he scares the shit out of me,” Gendry admitted, to which Sansa beamed back a smile.

“He also scares the shit out of everyone else. So, it works in my favour that he is the softest around me,” she confined with a grin that told him enough - a soft gian for only her was a special thing to keep around a princess that wanted secrets to be hidden.

“Well aren’t you lucky,” Gendry chuckled.

“Luckier than you,” Sansa scoffed, leaning forward, “you really fucked up. I don’t know how you’re going to get through this.”

Gendry put his coffee down before throwing himself back into his chair, sliding down as he felt a surge of self pity. “I know. But I can’t very well just ask her to get back together with me. Pathetic, especially considering that it won’t build trust back,” he explained, running his hands over his face. “I don’t know if I should even try.” He thought he whispered it, kept it so secret that no one would hear. But of course, Sansa, queen of secrets, threw a pillow at his words.

“You can’t just give up,” she snapped, the pillow hitting him again.

“Sansa, it’s better than dragging this out and hurting us more in the long run.”

“You’re going to let her go because you’re scared she’ll reject you!” Sansa had some truth in her words.

A lot of things about his relationship with Arya scared him. How did she love him in spite of everything she knew? How could someone royal love him? What if someone were to discover who he was, use it to bring him to a position he never asked for. Gendry wasn’t special. Maybe being a bastard made him feel like he wasn’t, but it still made him wonder at every turn if he were good enough to keep around.

For what he knew of himself, he knew why he was feeling all of this all so suddenly; he broke them up - a fond respect that had been built was shattered, and however perfect it was in their little bubble, it wasn’t enough to keep the world from coming in. Losing security in such a split second, a security that was built entirely by heart, was a hard thing to recover.

“I’m not going to break her heart all over again because I want her back! I could never do that to her again.”

“Gendry, you have to try before you break it all forever,” Sansa tried, but Gendry’s heart had already wavered, how was he meant to stop it from beating the way it did. More than anything, he wanted to stay with Arya - but what was truly fair? To badger her into loving him again, or to drag out a break up that should have ended it weeks before hand.

“What else can I do? Tell me! I’d die for that girl a thousand times over to see if it’d work, but that isn’t how this is going to happen,” he groaned.

“I don’t know. You really screwed up,” Sansa said, chewing on her lip.

“Yeah. I know that too,” Gendry grumbled, leaning forward, head in hands. For a moment, he thought he was alone, until a hand snaked up his shoulder, patting him lightly.

“She will always love you, even if you think you will always be unlovable. I believe you’ll find your way back to safety soon.”

“Safety?” he questioned.

“Where do you feel safest?”

Gendry pictured it, the hand on his cheek as Arya smiled up at him. Home. Her arms.

“There.” She confirmed with a smile and a nod, and Gendry’s heart broke again.

He wouldn’t love anyone the way he loved Arya.

As another week went by, Gendry’s place in the palace still hanging in the air, Arya was called in by her mother. She had staggered out of her room, hair still sticking up in odd places as she yawned. Gendry gave her the coffee he got her every morning, walking beside her slowly, guiding her around her home. The walk Arya took was uncomfortable, as though she had only just learnt how to walk that morning.

“Are you hung over right now?” he asked, staring straight ahead. When Arya groaned, she leaned on him, head kept propped up on his shoulder, legs lazily dragging her along with him.

“Sansa wanted to watch the new season RuPaul, and...well,” she sighed, looking up at him.

“I’m almost glad I didn’t get saddled with the night shift,” Gendry chuckled. To that, Arya jabbed him in the ribs.

“Stop lying, you would have loved every second,” she scoffed.

“You’re going to be two episodes ahead of me, don’t need spoilers.” To that, Arya laughed. She hadn’t laughed a lot since they’d broken up. He liked making her laugh, in his own way. It made him feel wanted by her. That there was still a chance.

He wished, though, that his stomach wouldn’t turn when he felt that. Guilt, it seemed, still plagued him like a disease, breaking down the confident parts of him, the ones that didn’t care about rank or the future, just happiness in one moment to the next.

Getting rid of the last remaining parts of her coffee, Arya gave Gendry back the mug and they walked into the Queen’s office. It was a very lavish office, with books lining the walls, a parallel war between the Queen’s interests on one side, and the other was duty. They were overflowing, each side balanced with the other. It fit the Queen, Gendry assumed. Unlike most of the Stark family, the Queen was quite secretive, she kept herself the picture perfect royal; stern, regal, and superior to all except the gods - old and new.

“Arya,” the Queen started, the door opening behind them as the King walked in. Both parents kissed at Arya’s crown before they eventually took their seats. Gendry stayed near the door, watching Arya shift awkwardly in front of her parents, both sitting opposite her behind the desk. They kept their power, outnumbering her. The Queen suddenly looked up to him, and Gendry stiffened. “I’m sorry Gendry that you have to be here for this, but I do need to speak with Arya on an important matter,” she explained. Gendry’s frowned, watching the Queen. The words made him curious.

“It is alright, Your Majesty, I’m used to following her around,” he explained.

The Queen cleared her throat, looking away from him, as though she of all people were uncomfortable. “Ah, see, it’s more about the topic of conversation.”

“What’s this about?” Arya asked.

“We’re setting you up on blind dates,” The King blurted, and Gendry suspected if Arya was drinking, she would have spat it across the room.

“Ex-excuse me?” she stuttered, her hands gripping into the edge of the chair. Gendry felt his heart clench. There was a reason this was awkward. At least Gendry knew the Queen had a heart - or at least she expressed human emotions that range into uncomfortable, awkward situations.

“To ease the transition period of you two...near each other again, we’re pursuing some dates that you can go on to steer the conversation away from you all together, Gendry,” she said, looking up to Gendry. His hands behind his back, clutched tight to one another, holding himself

“That…” he stopped himself as he shifted his weight between the balls of his feet, “that uh, sounds reasonable, your Majesty,” he gave a nod.

“Mum, this isn’t exactly fair to either me or Gendry,” Arya scoffed.

Gendry cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the room to him. “You Highness, your Majesty, please disregard my feelings on this matter. Whatever will be best for the royal family, I am on board with.” To that, Arya looked like she wanted to punch him - or gut him.

“See, Arya.” The Queen smiled, though it faded when she looked at him - a wave of guilt washing over her. Gendry swallowed. “We’ll arrange the dates, as well as some public outings to give you a chance to get to know some of these Lords and Ladies,” she explained.

Arya jolted forward. “Wow, wait, I’m being set up with Ladies? Mum, you know how I feel about noblewomen, they’re always so -”

“One is Elia Sand,” the King interrupted, and raised his brow.

“Okay, yeah that’s fine,” Arya muttered, settling back in her chair, folding her arms, “and the other one?”

“Myrcella,” The Queen said next, and Arya groaned.

“Baratheon?! Are you kidding me?!” she exclaimed. Gendry stood to the side, awkwardly trying to go unnoticed. He wanted to be like a fly on the wall, as he was always trained to do. But in that moment, he felt like he was sticking out like a ugliest statue that ever graced the halls of such a place.

The Queen leaned forward, her hands coming together as she spoke. “She’s shown great interest in -”

“Nope! She hates my guts, ever since I threw mud in her face when we were five,” Arya argued, reclining back into her chair, pulling away as far as she could from her mother and her demands. But, the scowl that Catelyn Stark wore better than anyone, said otherwise.

“It’s not up for discussion. You don’t have to actually date her, just one outing and we’ll call it from there,” she said, and with one wave, that was the end. Arya trudged off, and Gendry had to follow.

Outside the door, Arya groaned, hands in her hair like she wanted to the pull at her scalp. She continued to groan as she stumbled to the kitchen. There, she made herself a coffee and sat at one of the kitchen counters. Gendry sat opposite her, like he used to. It wasn’t until he was seated that he realised he probably shouldn’t have. But Arya didn’t seem to notice, or at least she didn’t care.

After Arya had downed her newest cup of coffee, making herself a second and her third of the morning, Gendry got the courage he needed and spoke.

“You complained about Myrcella, but from what I remember at Robb’s wedding, she was definitely staring at you,” he mentioned. Before Arya could raise the mug to her lips, she stopped and glared at him.

“Shut up,” she said, drinking her newest cup, and tearing herself away, as though a thought came to her and she couldn’t wait to yell about her frustrations. “I have nothing in common with her. Only thing we’d actually find fun together is probably sex,” she explained, going back and drinking as much as her coffee as she could with an irritated look on her face.

“Please don’t say that anyone else,” Gendry said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Okay, but don’t think about it in your spare time,” Arya teased.

“Trust me, I won’t,” he laughed.

“Well, trust isn’t a word I’d associate with you anymore,” she smirked to herself before her expression fell, “sorry. Cheap shot.”

“It’s fine,” he lied. It hurt to hear her say it. He knew she would have done so before the break up, but it was like a rusted knife went into his gut, tearing at his insides as she drew it out. It wasn’t fair to feel guilty, but in the end, heartache was always a blade that wounded more than just the intended person.

It took a week for the two royal women to meet. Gendry was there around their reintroduction to each other. Myrcella gave a sweet smile and giggled at Arya’s jokes, and that was all he saw. From their meeting in the palace, Gendry and Sandor swapped their roles.

To pass the time, Sansa kept Gendry off the internet - she made him go around the whole palace twice to try and find her phone, which happened to be in her pocket the whole time. Then, she made him feel extremely uncomfortable by making him sit next to her on her bed. She was lounging around and he sat straight legged on her bed as she talked.

After about half an hour of this, waiting for her to tell him to move - as she requested him to stay put - she suddenly kicked at his thigh. He frowned as she sat up, looking at him at the foot of the bed.

“I will bet you twenty quid that Arya is being forced to go shopping right now,” she smirked, teasing her sister that wasn’t even there.

“You’re saying that like you don’t wish you were her right now,” Gendry scoffed. Sansa narrowed her eyes at him, clicking her tongue against her teeth.

“I feel as though it’s some kind of jab about me being hyper feminine compared to my sister, but you’re right,” she said, as though she wasn’t anticipating being read like she just was.

There was a silence that hovered around them, even as Sansa smiled and went back to her phone - Gendry knew there was more that he didn’t know, that he very well could have. Sansa wasn’t much different than Arya; always willing to be a friend if given the chance. “What would you get?” he asked.

Sansa looked up at him, frowning at him. “Shopping?”

“Sure,” he shrugged.

“Are you just making small talk or do you actually want to know?” she asked, a cautious look on her brow.

“You seem fairly interesting, I want to get to know you, Sansa,” he said, honesty in his words.

Sansa’s eyes went wide. “Fairy interesting?” Gendry shrugged again.

“Look, I’m in love with your sister, she kind of sets a bar,” he smiled and Sansa laughed.

“Fair,” she shrugged back, “have you seen those ridiculous denim high heels?” she asked, not even able to keep a straight face. Gendru stared in shock before the words slipped out of his mouth.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he howled out a laugh, holding tight to his stomach as every laugh ripped into his side, unable to hold it in. Sansa laughed hard too, kicking at his thigh again as she tried to explain. It took them a few minutes to regain their breaths to finally get the explanation.

“I want to wear them just once to scare the shit out of Arya. it’s why I buy half the shit I wear. Just to see that girl’s reaction to horrible fashion,” she explained, falling back into her bed, giggling as she thought on it longer. Gendry scoffed out a laugh before nudging Sansa’s leg.

“You two love torturing each other,” he said, to that, she nodded.

“It’s what sisters do.” Sansa chuckled.

From what Gendry and Sansa found out later, that Gendry did in fact owe Sansa twenty quid, as shopping was all over the news, and it was definitely clear that Myrcella had a thing for Arya. Even if it was brief or some kind of want of flirtation, from all the photos that were out, it seemed that Myrcella seemed keen on Arya in her own way.

Gendry didn’t ask how far it went. He didn’t want to know.

Another outing was planned, a date over dinner that went as fine as the first - from the gossip that Arya gave after the fact, she and Myrcella talked about their families before they were stuck back into silence. They shared a long embrace at the end of the night which got picked up by every tabloid on the planet, and that was that. Myrcella still texted Arya, asking how she was doing but they had both agreed they were better off shit talking Joffrey than they were at ever being a couple.

After that, it was on to the next. Again, another night in with Sansa with Sandor taking his place. And as always, he was left to know the next day what happened the day or night before. He had seen the small talks of it online, the Forge their place to meet, some sort of dancing that had people gasping.

Elia Sand was a lady of the court, not of royal blood, but was known as a noble rebel. She and Arya had many similar qualities, both a little reckless but did so for their own freedom. It was worth commending.

The next day, with Arya in a hungover state once more, Gendry walked behind her to the kitchen. When her phone buzzed, Gendry had no intention to look over her shoulder, though it was quite easy to do so. What he found was Arya looking at a text that Elia sent, of the two women in the bathroom at the Forge, pressed in a stall and their tongues down the other’s throat.

“I see things with Elia Sand went well,” Gendry scoffed over her shoulder. Arya jumped, scrolling through her phone as quickly as she could. Across her cheeks a pinkish hue brightened her face, and panic was clear as day in her body.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect that to get seen,” she laughed, shoving her phone in her pocket. Gendry stopped. He had embarrassed her? Fuck. He never wanted to do that. “I’m sorry about that,” she tried. Gendry shook his head, hands bound tight behind his back.

“Don’t be. It’s not my place,” he said, clearing his throat, the lump of guilt mixing with shame didn’t make any of this less uncomfortable. From her spot, she straightened out her shoulders before walking back towards him, a sway in her hips that was her old way of flirting with him. Gendry’s mouth went dry at just the action. She shouldn’t have been allowed to do that.

“So, what are you going to do to match up to this?” she teased. With a hammering of his heart in his chest, he felt like he wanted to collapse. It felt unfair, as though he were finally taken down to the lowest he could - that she would break him down to the man he was supposed to be a year or so ago; to have him uncomfortable from the advances of a royal princess and ignore them. It could have been malice with her words, to tease and pull back at the last second, but as he looked at her, eyes eager for the reply she wanted - an example of how he’d win her over again, he sighed and felt his self pity wash away for a moment.

“I don’t think many would be able to match up to a kiss like that,” he scoffed.

Arya stepped to his side, to walk beside him again, slow and wanting to waste the time that way. “But?” They wandered the halls, no longer needing the coffee that would keep Arya awake.

“Maybe, after these public dates are over with, you and I can go out boxing? Like we used to?” he asked, chewing on the inside of his lip. He knew Arya wasn’t mean or cruel, but all his heart screamed was that he was going to be let down like he had done to her.

“I’d like that,” she replied, and for a second, he felt every hair on his body stand on end to see that smile, “we can go tomorrow, you know? It’s not like anyone would see it as out of the ordinary, it’s what we used to do,” she suggested, looking up at him with cautious optimism.

“If you’re happy with that, then I’m ok with it,” he nodded. To that, Arya smiled, racing ahead a few feet before stopping near a potted plant to throw up in. Gendry stood beside her, holding back her hair and patting her back as she hunched over the pot.

When she left, and out of earshot, Gendry called housekeeping personnel, and told them someone threw up in a potplant. He never gave a name and saved Arya some embarrassment. He did, however, tell Sansa about it, purely so he could talk to her about it in the coming days.

Arya spoke about her night in the briefest terms. The two women didn’t want anything other than to have a little fun. They danced, they drank, they made out in a bathroom stall. That was it. Gendry tried to hold back a smile as she told him, but she noticed and smiled back.

The next day came, both going out bright and early to the gym where barely anyone came. Arya was excited to work out with Gendry again, he knew that because she told him after every machine or the reps they needed to get. Finally getting back to the hand to hand stuff, Arya threw Gendry to the ground enough that it made his back ache. It took him a few tries to do it, but he managed to get Arya on her back, pinning her there before she eventually tapped out.

Genrdy still had little word on who first trained Arya, but whoever did so made Arya one hell of a fighter to begin with. She was focused, knowing how to get out of basically every hold that he could think of, and was a master manipulator of her body, moving in such a fashion that blew his mind every time she squeezed herself out of a situation.

Being thrown to the ground at around eight in the morning, Gendry wanted to call it a day, but before he could, he heard Arya squeak above him. Getting up onto his elbows quickly, he watched Arya bound towards a boy around Arya’s age. He was chubby around the edges, but in no way overweight, just a little cushion to him. Arya didn’t care about how sweaty she was when she jumped into his waiting arms.

“Mycah!” she yelled, giggling as his face went into the crook of her neck and holding onto her for dear life. Gendry’s chest clenched tight, no longer feeling a beating heart. “Oh my gods! What’s it been?” she asked as he set her back on her feet.

“Like ten years,” he replied, holding her face in is hands, “it’s so good to see you,” he laughed.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, smoothing her hair out on the edges, flicking it back into the sweat that lined her face.

“Didn’t your mum tell you?” he asked.

Arya stepped back from him. “You’re my date?!”

“Sure am!” he beamed. Gendry knew what it was now. Mycah Butcher. He wasn’t noble, but he was a childhood friend, his father once working in the kitchen before he eventually had to move. The two were fond companions, causing trouble when they shouldn’t, and overall, confiding in each other when no one else could see their reasoning.

Gendry wasn’t expecting him that day. He didn’t plan for this gym session to be their only interaction - to make it only about the gym instead of their normal routine of working out and talking it out. It was easy for them to exhaust themselves so when truths flew into the air, they were guaranteed not to run off easily. Gendry stood, rolling his shoulders as he walked over to his gear.

“Seven hells! You’ve made my day!” Arya beamed back at him. Packing things up, Gendry hitched up his bag onto his shoulder, taking out a cap and putting it on. He was more used to hiding his face in public than he ever had been in the past. It was odd how easy it had become to blend in when he wanted to.

“Your highness,” Gendry said, making Arya turn back to him. “I think we can meet up later. You have Beric with you,” Gendry said pointing out the window to Beric standing by the car.

“Oh, thank you,” she said, waving Gendry off, “I can’t believe it’s you!” she said again to Mycah.

Out the door, Gendry looked to Beric, stepping over to him as he looked back into the gym, Arya seemingly overexcited by the person in front of her. Gendry liked being that person for her. It was a lost cause now, her attention constantly distracted - giving her the opportunity to know that she could move on, and easily. Gendry knew he couldn’t.

“You good to look after her?” he asked.

“Where are you going?” Beric grumbled.

“To drink away the self pity I have over seeing that,” he said, pointing back inside, ready to go to the one place he felt the safest.

“Hey, Waters, come here,” Beric called out. Walking back to him, Beric held onto Gendry’s shoulder, holding him in place. “I gave you a hard time the other week, and I’m sorry, it’s just -”

Gendry interrupted. “Bodyguard 101. Don’t get attached.”

“Is it hard with her doing this?” Beric asked, and Gendry gave out a sigh. Looking back at Beric, a man that didn’t really care about Gendry’s troubles, he found it easy to speak what he needed.

“More than I’m letting on.” He admitted it without hesitating, and the look that Beric gave was that of pity. He let Gendry go with a tough slap to the shoulder. “Thanks,” Gendry replied, moving off and finding the same old pub he used to work at when he was a boy. Sweeping up after dark, cleaning tables in the morning when the night crowd didn’t disperse until dawn.

The Stag’s Head.

Opening the doors, closed to the public, Gendry walked up the bar, seeing the place almost spotless. It felt wrong, that there wasn’t something to do in order to get it ready for a lunch rush - which used to be the staple of their establishment. Now, it felt barren and unwanted.

“Mum?” he called, putting his bag on the counter. He wondered if he could sneak a beer before his mum noticed. She would with the speed she rushed out the back doors to him.

“Gendry! Sweetie,” she smiled, pulling him into her arms and pushing him onto a stool. From the determination in her, she was ready to make him food that he would say is his breakfast.

“Hey,” he asked as she roamed around the bar area, “how’s everything?”

“Business is picking up again since the princess has been dating,” she admitted, and Gendry sighed, pushing his hat off his head and putting it on the bar. “I’m sorry you see that,” his mother said, moving back to his space at the opposite side of the bar.

“More than I’d like,” he sighed, resting his chin on the bar top. It smelled foul up close, but it had the same smell as it had for the last twenty years.

“I didn’t -” his mother started before she lifted Gendry’s head from the bartop, “honey, I never wanted you to end things with her. I love Arya,” she beamed before she seemed to recognise her mistake, “Princess Arya,” she corrected. At least she corrected herself - Gendry failed to do that since he’d met her.

“Mum,” he replied, closing his eyes and hoping he could make it through this conversation without feeling as depressed as he had all morning. “I know you didn’t ask me to, but I needed to do that. It was best,” he said, looking back at her. Tilting her head, Tailya sighed, hands firm on the bar as she scowled back at him.

“Best for who?” she asked. Before he could give her an answer, one that he hadn’t thought of, he got a text. Reaching into his pocket, he saw the palace asking him back.

“I just got a call, I have to go,” he sighed, leaning over the bar and kissing his mother’s cheek. Gathering up his things, he left the pub, ignoring the fact that he could have caught a lift with the rest of the team. Instead, he opted to walk back to the palace. It took him half the morning, but he got back, showering in the security quarters, and dressing in his suit.

He had to wander around the palace before Arya made it back in the afternoon, still as happy as when he left her. Still, she went off to her room, her mother going inside to talk with her about the date, to which they took a fair while. As Gendry waited, his new friend bounded towards him, mockingly punching him in the stomach as she perked up.

“How you doing? Did it go well?”

“Which part? The gym part or where Mycah came to date Arya?” he asked back in a whisper. To that, Sansa’s face dropped.

“Mycah Butcher? You’re kidding?” she exclaimed.

“Nope. Seems like that’s who she was with all day,” he replied, and Sansa sighed.

“I’m sorry. Next time,” she said, patting his shoulder before skipping down the hall.

After a few more minutes, the Queen came out of Arya’s room, smiling to herself. When she saw Gendry, she jumped, clearing her throat and handing him a pile of notes.

“I expect this is greatly awkward for you,” she said, avoiding his eyes.

“I don’t see how my feelings need to mean anything to your family anymore, your majesty,” Gendry said, focusing back across the hall, avoiding the gaze that the queen held on him. What shocked him however, was the hand that she placed on his elbow, making his attention fall back on the queen.

“My boy, please don’t think you are lesser than we are because you are not royal or noble born. You have every right to rule over your own happiness,” she said, and Gendry felt himself stare in disbelief. The queen had never been the type to talk to him like that - like he were family, or someone worth caring for, “please read over these notes. I am sorry in advance,” she remarked, nodding before heading down the hall.

Gendry looked over the notes as he knocked on Arya’s door. She called for him to come in, and as he opened the door, he stopped midday, stuck on a line that was written in.

“I see you scheduled another outing with Mycah in two nights time,” Gendry said, putting his notes behind his back, walking in to see Arya’s room scattered with clothes, as though she were trying to find the right outfit for whatever she was planning on doing.

“It’s just drinks. We decided we wanted to catch up,” Arya shrugged, going into her bathroom, but her smile made everything feel like what he did to get back to Arya was a hopeless endeavour. Did he really have to try anymore, or would it be a wasted effort to give himself to her all over again? Would she even want to after all these dates?

He hated that he would now compare himself to others. He never used to. Arya would yell at him for doing it, he predicted.

After Arya showered, she dressed in some lounging clothes and mainly stayed in her room. Sansa came for a visit at one stage, laughing at her for her vomit incident the other day. Arya threw a pillow at Gendry who laughed at the sisters. Sansa even said there was a stain on the carpet where the potplant couldn’t catch everything - Gendry knew it was a lie because he had checked. Arya didn’t, and buried her face into her bed.

After Sansa left, turning her face away as though she were ignoring him - but he saw her smug grin - it was Arya and Gendry once more, their presence around each other left them in tension and silence. The silence seemed to fuel the tension, but neither broke it, in fear of starting a fire that neither of them could

“I think I should head out. Promise not to jump out the window?” Gendry laughed, his finger tugging down on the knot in his tie, turning to leave as Arya seemed to settle into her room. From behind him, he could hear her jostling around on her sheets.

“Can I ask you something?” Arya said, and Gendry finished tugging off his tie. He let the loose fabric rest on his shoulders and stuck his hands in his pockets, turning back to her. Arya had stood at the end of her bed, and Gendry walked back to her.

“Always,” he said, meaning it too.

Arya rested her chin on her chest for a moment, fingers binding in to the edge of her jumper sleeve. Then, she looked up to him, eyes scared to know an answer that hadn’t even been questioned. “Have you stopped fighting for me because I’m not...opening up? That I’m making it too hard?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Am I hard to love? Is that why you’re pulling away and not giving us a ch-”

“Arya, I told you,” he started, before the words got caught up in his chest. Could he even bring himself to lie. “Your happiness means more to me than anything else. I’m never going to get in the way of that again.”

“What if -”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Gendry stepped into her space, his hand on her cheek. He thought she’d recoil, that she’d pull away, instead, she relaxed into his touch, her eyes closing for a brief moment as though to savour this time. When she opened her eyes, Gendry felt himself lean down, words only they could hear, “you deserve...you deserve someone that isn’t going to break your heart.”

Arya gripped into his collar, his forehead resting against hers. “I don’t want anyone else,” she confessed, and that was when Gendry pulled away. It was slow, and scorching to do so.

“I don’t want to let you go, but -”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” she repeated. “Just..leave it as it is. Please don’t give up hope.”

“I promise,” he said, not knowing if he would keep his words true, or if he had confessed a lie. All he knew was that when she held him, all he wanted to do was kiss her and ask her for forgiveness in every way he could, submit to her every whim just to see if she’d love him again. He would go down on his knees and beg, but would it ever mean anything to her? Gendry was unsure of anything these days, it would be foolish to even try.

After that, Arya went out for drinks with Mycah, more photos and more articles revolving around Arya’s love life were in the papers. People speculator as to the real reason for the cycling dates, most were wrong, some were right, others were downright weird reasons.

Then, one night came, an unexpected date came to town and wanted something for he and Arya that would give them a chance out of the spotlight. It was the first real effort that Arya had at a date thus far. Everything was very casual with the others - this was a lord trying to impress a princess.

Arya wore a simple jumpsuit, a silk material bound in at her waist with a bright red belt. She looked stunning, but Gendry didn’t say anything. He just smiled and they drove to the restaurant that was arranged. They were told to wait outside. Gendry didn’t know much of the procedures for these sort of things - he was only on duty that night because Sandor had gone off with Sansa doing something that no one knew about. It drove Gendry mad, knowing he had to be apart of this in some way.

“It’s the last one. It’ll be over before we know it,” Arya sighed, shifting back and forth between her heels. Gendry cleared his throat, shoulders deflating at the words. He always forgot this wasn’t going to go away, that they would be able to build themselves overtime - they would constantly be torn apart. Then, a hand smacked against his stomach, making him looking down at Arya who scowled at him, “you promised, remember?”

“I know,” he replied, feigning a smile. He was probably as good to lying to Arya as she were to him. They were each other’s lie detector, finding the truth hidden behind layers of lies and pain. Part of him knew, that even with his promise, reality wouldn’t match up. He could promise her everything she’d ever wished for, but at the end of it all, he’d still be ushered away. Gendry was going to be pulled from her life without a second word.

Gendry wanted to cling on, but after seeing how Arya was when he broke it off, he wondered if it wasn’t for the best - to never be in the woman’s life again, never be able to hurt her. It was hard for him to think of himself highly, even after understanding the royal family were like any other - something stood in the way of his happiness.

In the back of his mind, he thought of someone who he had never met. Someone that had impacted his life without stepping foot in it.

Maybe he was why.

Arya sighed, her finger gracing over his hand. He unconsciously flinched, looking around for prying eyes. It was funny how things worked now; when he dated Arya, he didn’t care who saw, not that they were broken up, all he cared about was her appearance with him. “I do want to start over, but it’s hard to -”

“Your highness, the car is pulling up,” Gendry said, putting his hands behind his back and stepping away from her. It felt like the right thing to do - the step away from her when matters like this were at hand.

As the car rolled up, a young man walked out, pinned in a casual suit jacket and jeans combo, blond hair slightly astray, and he waved off the escorting security that tried to stop him running to Arya and Gendry. “I’m sorry I’m late!” he called just before he reached the two. Gendry looked to Arya - she showed no real interest in him, but she still smiled, like she had to out of obligation.

Then he got closer, and Arya sucked in a breath. He reached out to her as he stopped in front of her.

“Ned Dayne,” he introduced, his hand delicate to touch hers. When their hands came together, soft and tender, holding tight for a moment, a breath taken in between them both, before they finally let each other go, and they could breathe in sync. It made Gendry feel like he was invading on something he shouldn’t have been apart of in the first place.

“It’s great to meet you,” she smiled, her lip going between her teeth briefly and a soft chuckle slipped from her lips as she looked down at her heels. Gendry felt his mouth go dry and his hands clung to one another behind his back. He felt like he wanted to drag himself out of their the second the pair latched eyes. It wasn’t right for him to think like that though, he had no right to do that anymore.

“Come in,” he asked her. Gendry followed after her as she went inside behind Ned. From the little Gendry had been debriefed about the Lord was this; he was kind, though he didn’t outwardly show any sort of distain for anyone, in recent past, he kept to himself as he studied english at university where he thrived. Everything else seemed like a mystery - he stayed inside, he kept to himself mostly, but was reclusive. Gendry suspected he was like Arya; the person in the family that seemed the most mysterious, but just wanted more for themselves out of their family name.

In the restaurant, the staff waited patiently, bowing as Arya walked in before moving onto their next task. Arya held herself tighter, as though she felt claustrophobic of the open space. In her defense, it made Gendry’s skin crawl - too much open space meant more opportunity to get into contact with her. He had doubts those were her fears.

“Where is everyone?” she asked.

“I rented out the restaurant. I wanted to get to know you, and not have people listening in,” he said, a genuine and sweet looking smile appeared on his lips.

“I’d like that,” Arya sighed, letting her arms loose. Gendry cleared his throat, drawing attention to him from the two.

“Your Highness,” Gendry gave a nod to Arya before turning to Ned, “My Lord.” His goodbye without saying it. Why would he need to. It wasn’t his right. He found himself thinking that a lot.

A right. A privilege. Something that was given to him but not freely taken. He had no right to be around Arya, but was given the opportunity. His only crime was loving her when no one gave him the right to.

Arya stepped into him. “Where are you -”

“I’ll be just outside. So you can have some more privacy, your highness,” Gendry said, and for a moment, he thought he saw doubt in her. As though she saw herself and what mistakes she may make - that in the presence of the man beside her, she’d find a happiness that once lay in Gendry.

“Thank you,” she said, a sadness to her words that he wished would fade. In time, at least.

“Yes, thank you,” Ned said, extending his hand. Gendry looked down and without thinking, took it. It was a kindness that he showed overall, Gendry didn’t want to give him a bad impression - especially if it meant something more for Arya. “I didn’t catch your name,” he asked, shaking Gendry’s hand. Nervous, Gendry cleared his throat, straightening out his shoulders.

“Gendry.”

“Ah yes, I remember now. Gendry Waters,” he recalled as if he had known it from a distant memory. From the corner of his eye, he caught Arya looking at Gendry, as they both knew where he knew the name. “A pleasure,” he said, innocent as ever.

“You too, my lord,” Gendry said, clearing his throat and leaving the pair. As Gendry got to the door, he stopped and look back. To see what was happening in his absence. Ned put his hand on the small of Arya’s back as he took them to the table of his choice and smiled to her like he had been falling in love with her from such a distance, and within his sight - there she was.

Gendry understood, being in Arya’s gravity made everything seem brighter, as though she hung the stars and they left a shine over her entire being. It was as though the heavens had touched down on her and graced the earth with the simplest thing as her smile.

As the pair sat opposite each other, they looked perfect together, like they were paired from some greater being. The old gods and the new formed them to be one and they fit - like they were waiting to fall back into place. And there they were, and Gendry was just the man on the sidelines, watching for his heart to break more than it had before.

Arya giggled, like she did with him only a few months prior. She tucked hair behind her ear, lip caught between teeth as she listened to him talk. Although the words were lost to him, Gendry could make out that it was something worth keeping her attention in the first place.

Gendry lit the cigarette, setting it between his teeth, and dragging the smoke in with the air of the night. He hoped it killed him, that the smoke would fill his lungs and choke him because it would be less painful than the broken heart that captivated him at present.

As the smoke left him, mixing in with the cold night air that only the North could hold, Gendry felt like he were ready to be sick. It was as though bile was rising in his throat, but he didn’t get to physically retch it from his body. Instead, he was left to rest his hand to his head, wrist shaking as the sickness turned into a choked sob.

He hadn’t felt like he had truly lost Arya until that night, where she smiled and laughed, acted like herself again with someone that could replace him. Replace Gendry so easily, it were like he never existed in the first place.

“Fuck,” he said, and finally, the tears came out, his hand slipping down from his forehead to rest over his eyes. Hunched against the wall of the building, he hid away his shame - and the pain of the final blow of a lost love.

She was gone, and there was nothing more Gendry could do but cry, out of sight and out of mind of everyone that once cared who he was.

Once more, he was insignificant. Just like everyone wanted him to be.

#gendrya #got fic #gendry x arya #arya x gendry #gendrya fic #cfois #chivalry fell on its sword #my fics

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ezool · 5 years

Text

[ ml spoilers Felix episode ]

(watch the whole episode here!)

ok im just typing this as i watch it so this could be a long post

so like so far this episode is like tapping into family affairs that’s like never been brought up before so it feels kinda rushed in?

it was also sweet to see chloe actually be kind to adrien. understanding that she was lucky to have her mom back and make it clear that she’ll always be there for adrien.

im glad marinette was brave enough to confess in the video but it sucks that each time she ever gets to do anything about her crush on adrien the writers are just like “nah lets milk this lovesquare”

also felix calling her pathetic is just That Guy like *throws felinette out the window*

it’s sweet that her love her adrien was what helped her be the one to see through the ruse in the video that felix sent

but also im kinda pissed that the guys, who are supposedly closer to adrien, werent the ones that were akumatized in this episode so we just get another episode of girls losing their temper and being the bad guys

also, i was hoping for new akuma looks. like maybe they’d keep their usual powers but maybe they’d have a unified look between the three that had parts of their new outfits inspired by their usual ones

felix: he’s the fake adrien, shoot him instead! punishers: *points guns at felix* the real adrien would never miss the opportunity to die! adrien: my true friends :’)

everyone like “wow nathalie is so badass look at those moves!” but im just like “bruh they’re a bunch of 14 year old girls with no combat experience and arent even using their super powers”

ladybug: oh look adrien is outside his house! *covers eyes from bright green light* where’d be go?! but at least chat noir’s here to help now!

ok props to the person in charge of the music bc that romantic music shifting into creepy distorted music was 👌😩

as, like, weirdly paced this episode has been, i liked they made a clear message about consent. like how clear can you be when you have ladybug deck a guy in the face after he refused to respect her boundaries. i loved that!

lol what a little bitch

they’re trying to make me care about this weird family feud with these wedding bands but i dont!! care!! why introduce this so late in the season?! esp if it has nothing to do with the finale episodes?!

“my favorite cousin” are there more cousins?? or is adrien favorite by default since he’s the only one??

i did think it was weird he was shaking hands with his left hand but like i still dont fucking care about this shoehorned wedding ring feud lmao

#miraculous ladybug #felix spoilers #adrien agreste #felix agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #chat noir #thinking out loud #ml spoilers #spoilers

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dracula-in-purple-story · 5 years

Text

One and Only

Poseidon’s Experience

Poseidon, a Secret Agent Pokemon called Inteleon, experienced firsthand that his mother-figure is unique among the other trainers. His family is made up of abandoned, outcasted or just plain hungry Pokemons. He’s not complaining in the slightest.

“All right! Line up, everyone!” the weirdly-dressed man signalled Sobble and his friends to come forward. They obliged, earnestly ready to meet their potential trainer. Sobble was not mentally ready, he already showed his embarrassing crying face, which Scorbunny joked about him would be seen as a crybaby Pokemon. He took this seriously and had already imagined every outcome and every scenario that’s probably gonna happen.

Good news, there’s two young humans in front of him. Bad news, they chose Grookey and Scorbunny. Of course, those humans would rather have a hyper Pokemon than a pathet-

“OH ARCEUS, VICTOR! GLORIA! WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP?!”

Just then, when he was about to lose hope and go back into his Poke Ball, a young long-hair human came rushing towards them. Another good news, the weirdly-dressed man just casually said she’s late and introduce him to her.

He thought he knew what’s going to happen. The long-hair human would complain, make a tantrum, not going to see his potential, wait for another day to choose either Grookey or Scorbunny. Sobble witnessed this scene before back at the huge Pokemon Centre Headquarters. His fellow species got ridiculed for being a quick crybaby, after all.

“Oh! Em! Gee!” the long-hair human screeched as she hugged Sobble carefully, “I love him! He’s so cute!”

Except that he’s wrong. Sobble could not believe this. He wants to smile but he couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. The long-hair human noticed this but instead of ridiculing him like those humans before, she chuckled before cradling him.

“I’m honoured that you show such big reaction on being adopted-”

Adopted?

“-I am also glad to meet you and become your parent at the same time too!-”

You? Also glad to meet me? And want to become my mother?

“-My name’s Drac. Let me name you something unique, okay?”

I would have a name? But Grookey and Scorbunny does not have one... but if you insist...

Sobble nodded while sobbing and clinging to her purple sweater. When he finished his sobbing, Drac- no. Mommy raised him up so they could see eye-to-eye.

“Little guy,” she looks proud as she talked to him, “Your name would be Poseidon. The mythical Human God of the Sea.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Soy! Polly! Miro or whatever your name is! Come out in this instance before Mom realise that you guys go stealing people’s ingredients again or something!” Poseidon, now in his final evolution glory, shouted loudly as he watched two Thievuls and a Yamper sashayed back with suspiciously stolen goods in their mouths. When they put down the goods with pride, the Yamper sprinted down to the purple tent with skull patterns to find their human mother.

“Poseidon, my humble apologies. Our son was really excited when he found lots of delicious foods for our mother. I do hope you could forgive him for such eagerness.” the Thievul with a Polly flower eyepatch smirked subtly. Her partner snickered. Poseidon rolled his eyes.

Also wants to at least help his human mother, he decided to let this matter go by helping the Thievuls couple to sneak the stolen goods into Drac’s ingredients bag and hopefully she didn’t notice the slightly budging bag.

And she didn’t. Not a bit of awareness as she simply grabbed the two loaves of bread that is in the ‘stolen’ pile. Poseidon facepalmed as he watched his mother feeding the Wooloos, the Dubwools, the Rookidees and the Metapods their share of foods respectively.

~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as they finished their lunch (in Poseidon’s term, after cooking 11 batches of food for almost 15 different types of Pokemons in fairly large number), the team went into training mode or ‘doing things they thought would help their human’ mode. Poseidon is at the latter mode, listing down Drac’s shopping list mentally as they jogged to Motostoke after leaving the tent under Rabifut the Raboot’s and Bachinki the Thwackey’s supervision.

“I think we got everything. Something I miss, Poseidon?” Drac asked carefreely as she heaved up boxes of Potions, Heals and Poke Balls. He pondered a bit, slinging the plastic bags full of basic materials for clothes and accessories, before doing some hand gestures.

[We still need Repel Sprays for the newly hatched babies and insulating materials for the Yampers to play with.] “Le, le, leon.”

“Oh yeah, Repel Sprays and insulating materials. Thanks for reminding!”

[You are welcome, forgetful Mom.] “Intel~!”

Onlookers always looked at them differently. The Old Humans would just thought that it’s child rambling and went on to their daily life. The Big Humans would joked about how weird his fourteen-years-old Mother was, which he was tempted to use his ‘Sling Shot’ move on them. The Little Humans and the Pokemons, however, would just gawked at the two of them.

Poseidon knew what’s that reaction means, from the Pokemons’ point of view.

“Did that Human just repeat what he said and actually understands him?”

It’s nothing new for him. Ever since Drac taught him and the other Pokemons with ‘fingers’ sign languages one month ago, they communicate with her easily to let her know what they want and didn’t want. They also got appointed as translator for those ‘fingerless’ Pokemons. And occasionally, they just casually signed ‘I love you’ to her, making her laughed with joy.

Honestly, Poseidon and the rest of the group are lucky and happy with a mother-figure like her. Although they expressed their gratitude differently, Drac understood their approaches and accepting them before calmly lectured them.

~~~~~~~~~~

Remind him why he thought leaving the supervising roles to two responsible but reckless and chaotic Pokemons was a good idea.

“I said, we join the Pokemon League! We show those twerps how Mom is the strongest caretaker! Those losers never know what hit them!”

“Can we just, not? Just because Rotom said something about the unbeatable Champion Leon and the new season is coming up next two weeks, doesn’t mean we have to join.”

If it were anything other than other Pokemons joining sides, he would just use Water Pledge on them to silence their verbal fight. Unfortunately, they even involve Mom into this, signing aggressively as to prove and overcome each opposite points.

He reluctantly sighed before sitting down with the eldest sister of this comically dysfunctional family on his lap. The Eldegoss just swaying around comfortably as she allows the Inteleon to play with her little pink flowers among her signature dandelions.

“When will they ever stop their argument?” Poseidon complained with a hint of stress. Persephone stopped her swaying, looking up to meet his eyes before she resumed back, giggled at the scene in front of them that looks like they are having a trial like that famous lawyer TV series.

“Oh, Posey. I’m sure whatever they argue about, they will always listen to Mommy. After all, her reasoning on choices makes us feel like we are included in the decision-making.”

“I know, Perse. It just that I’m tired of their attitude. The reason why I let them took charge today is because I want to let them learn responsibility.”

“Well, it works half way before Lily decided that it was the right moment to announce the League news. You know how eager she is, watching Pokemon League on live is basically in her wish list.”

“Maybe if she just hold her chatty mouth back, we could probably discuss this before letting the young ones to decide.”

“She’s not like her fellow Rotoms buddies.”

“I wish she is, Perse. Emphasis the word ‘wish’.”

The trial seems to come to the end, seeing that Bachinki actually won his side of their verbal fight amused Poseidon a lot. Those two fought a lot verbally but it was always the Rabbit Pokemon that won the argument.

The same Raboot was found sulking in his Poke Ball later at dinner time.

#One and Only #draculainpurple #My OCs #Inteleon #Pokemon Sword and Shield #Eldegoss #Yamper #Thievul #Rotom #Raboot #Thwackey #Pokemon Trainer Gloria #Pokemon Trainer Victor #SWSH

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megashadowdragon · 5 years

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@spoonoftar @thehtg-therealone

Someone made a thread about 1 on 1 fights recently. So I decided to post this.

Understand something though: This is purely about story. A lot of people tend to jump to conclusions and will have knee jerk reactions without even reading but I want to make it clear this is just about what would make for good storytelling. This is me explaining why I believe this particular rivalry has a lot of story potential.

I'm aware that no one is going to enjoy this but I do this because a lot people are under the impression that RWBY needs less 1 on 1 fights and that couldn't further from the truth. One thing that most people don't seem to understand is why this form of storytelling is so effective. Over-the-top spectacle can be visually appealing but unfortunately by itself thats all it will ever amount to. A battle that is all flash and no substance. One such example is Raven vs Cinder. While the fight makes for decent eye candy it is by far lacking in terms of story. There is a reason why fights like Gaara vs Rock Lee, Ichigo vs Byakuya, Deku vs Todaroki, Gon vs Pitou, Luffy vs Rob Lucci etc have and will be engraved in the minds of viewers for years to come. It is because people are attracted to great drama. Not simply the flashy abilities. While that can get people interested in a series it's appeal is only surface level. Thats not whats going to stay with people. What makes a fight great is the character drama between the two individuals. It's the story told through that conflict.

I get that RWBY is a show that tries to push Teamwork & Unity as a theme....but so does literally every other shounen battle series. Yet they all still have very memorable and compelling 1 on 1 fights. You don't have to have one or the other. Both are necessary. Wanting to emphasize Teamwork is great but the fact is that in Battle focused stories 1 on 1 fights is actually what builds character. Something that many would argue is utterly lacking in RWBY.

Which is why I argue that there is far more story to pull out of the Jaune vs Cinder conflict than there is the Ruby vs Cinder conflict. And that this is the better narrative to spin based on what we already have.

Keep in mind I'm not saying that Jaune & Cinder are the only characters you can(and should) do this with.

Ruby & Salem

Weiss & Watts

Yang & Hazel

Blake & Tyrian

Are all Hero/Villain relationships that you can build great character drama with by setting up a proper clash of ideologies. I'm only using Jaune vs Cinder as one example because pretty much everyone hates Jaune and would be glad to see either him or Cinder killed off never to be seen again and I feel that is an utter waste of story potential.

But first I'd like to explain why Ruby & Cinder fails as an effective Hero & Opponent dynamic as RT is currently trying to present it as.

Why Ruby vs Cinder Fails

“If your characters don’t have a response—in speech, in thought, or in action—to the events happening to them, they haven’t been touched by those events, and the reader will likewise remain untouched and uninvolved.” —Beth Hill

It's very clear that Cinder & Ruby are being set up as rivals. Silver & Gold. Naive cute youth, vs Cunning mature beauty etc. Not to mention Cinder's very typical "Villain obsessed with the Hero" shtick. Though I'd like to argue(and I'm sure I'm not the first) that their conflict doesn't really work. The narrative tries to set up some sort of a beef between them, but ultimately it just falls flat. We know that Cinder really really hates Ruby.....But why? Because she scarred her face? This comes off as really shallow and isn't something that the audience can really invest in. Now you could argue that this is done in an attempt to make Cinder seem vain or petty, but without any backstory the audience isn't able to be invested in her reasons. Because again, it's superficial. On the flip side, what is Ruby's reason for despising Cinder? Because she's evil? Because she hurt her friend? Again, these are incredibly superficial reasons. It comes off as "I'm good and you're evil therefore I hate you". It can be seen as nothing more than a good guy who hates a bad guy for being bad, and a bad guy who hates a good guy for being good. Not to mention, Ruby hating Cinder for killing Pyrrha is hardly believable in the first place due to the fact that she has hardly spent any time with Pyrrha whatsoever. Without any deep seated emotion behind them or layers to this conflict it will always come off as empty. A vapid and contrived good guy vs bad guy beef loosely concocted to make Cinder hate our main Hero and nothing more.

However the conflict between Juane and Cinder has again far more story potential. From an emotional standpoint it just works. Jaune had strong feelings for Pyrrha be they romantic or otherwise and thus unlike Ruby it gives him ample reason to truly despise Cinder. This alone is already enough reason to be emotionally invested in the conflict as we have watched Jaune and Pyrrha grow closer over the course of Season 1 only to have her be brutally murdered by Cinder. Jaune's feelings of weakness, self-doubt, guilt, and anger are all heavy emotions brought about by Cinder's actions and we perfectly understand why he feels the way he feels. His animosity towards Cinder is only stoked knowing she feels no remorse over her actions and in fact practically forgot about it. As such we genuinely want to see Jaune get revenge for Pyrrha and make up for his failure at the end of Volume 3. So already when looking at just Jaune's side of things we find that his motivations for hating Cinder make perfect sense due to the emotional weight behind them. But what could make Cinder care enough about Jaune to hate him like she does Ruby?

Values in Conflict

"Great drama is not the product of two individuals butting heads; it is the product of the values and ideas of the individuals going into battle. It's conflict between characters and their values. A good opponent has a set of beliefs that come under assault as well. The beliefs of the hero have no meaning, and do not get expressed in the story, unless they come into conflict with the beliefs of at least one other character, preferably the opponent. The actions of the hero and the opponent are based on a set of beliefs, or values. These values represent each character's view of what makes life good. In the best stories, the values of the opponent come into conflict with the values of the hero. Through that conflict, the audience sees which way of life is superior. Much of the power of the story rests on the quality of this opposition."

-John Truby, The Anatomy of Story

Parallels: First when looking at their characters they're both very similar in some respects. Especially in terms of their goals. In Volume 3 Episode 7 opens with Cinder stating that she wants to be Strong, Feared, and Powerful. From this it can be inferred that there was indeed a time where she was not those things. Why else would she desire them? It was because she did not have them. Therefore, once upon a time Cinder was weak, pathetic, and powerless. Her semblance also hints at this as it really seems rather pathetic compared to most. It's barely anything that could provide an advantage in combat. I wouldn't be surprised if her power was once considered worthless or even outright unfit for combat. Basically from this we can conclude she was an individual who was in a situation where she constantly felt weak and helpless and because of that weakness she desired power so strongly that she would do anything for it. Even her name which has been implied to be fake and something she invented on her own hints at the idea that she hated the person she was and wanted to become someone else entirely. Now, similarly Jaune has also always been considered a weakling. A joke. A goofball nobody, that no one ever takes seriously. As we know from Volume 1 this is something Jaune is fully aware of and he despises it. He hates being pathetic. Weak. Thus, he desires to be a Hero. Someone he can respect. So much so that he'd forge his transcripts and infiltrate the most prestigious Huntsmen School in the world. He'd go to such drastic measures as to commit a crime of this caliber if it meant taking a step towards his dream. As such if we were to give them a conflict: Cinder's reason for hating Jaune could be that he is a reminder of what she used to be. A living breathing remnant of that pathetic weakling she once was. Thus looking at him disgusts her as he symbolizes her past self, the identity she tried to forget that keeps coming back to haunt her. So having Jaune serve as a reminder of her own weakness will be the start of her wanting to see him dead just as much as, if not more than Ruby.

But how will their conflict be structured? Since RWBY is an anime, or more specifically an honorary shounen considering it's place in Jump. Lets use a bit of shounen storytelling. Shounen's most prominent writing technique is one where the fights act as Character Arcs in and of themselves. Now, matching one's internal struggle with the external one is nothing new or revolutionary but shounen battle manga have unquestionably mastered the technique. Every fight tells a story and can even sometimes be considered the "Hero's Journey" in miniature. Often acting as clashes of not just personality, but ideologies, and are used to explore the themes of the narrative. The main thing I'm pointing out with this analysis is how fights can and should be written. Fights can be far more than a mere spectacle of flashy movements and abilities. With this in mind lets just imagine that each of their fights/clashes/encounters spurs on development in the two culminating in a final fight towards the end of the series, that concludes the story arcs of both characters.

~Themes~

Ambition: Both characters clearly posses great aspirations and ambition. Now I know Ambition is a word people like to tie to Villains. Deeming them selfish because of it, whereas the Heroes are portrayed as "selfless" doing things for the sake of others rather than themselves. However theres nothing wrong with having an Ambition. It's not an evil thing in it itself. Nor is it synonymous with greed. It's perfectly normal to have goals and to work hard towards achieving them. Thats all Ambition is. However the difference is in how you go about achieving those goals. Sometimes the hero and the villain are basically the same except for the fact that each took a single step in a different direction. Thus, one layer of this potential conflict between Jaune and Cinder can be about Ambition and how each character represents the flip side of what it means to pursue a goal. Now their goal in itself is somewhat similar. They both seek power and strength but for different reasons. While for both of them it is on some level a quest for self-worth, Cinder desires power largely for the sake of having it. So that she can inspire fear. Jaune desires strength so that he can protect those close to him and to have the ability to help those who need it. Where Cinder is ruthless. Jaune is Kind and Compassionate. Where Cinder uses the people around her like tools for her success. With Jaune we see that his support system on the ladder to success is built on friendship and mutual respect. Cinder tears down those around her using them as stepping stones to achieve her goals whereas Jaune holds up those around him and they eagerly do so for him in turn. Cinder may have worked hard but she gains strength by stealing from others whereas Jaune simply works hard and his power is one that literally allows him to give power to others instead of taking it. And Lastly, where Cinder's actions are clearly rooted in some deep seated hatred. Jaune is motivated by love. Or at least the memory of the woman who once loved him.

Destiny: Another layer to the fight could involve Cinder's belief in Destiny. Putting that empty one-liner of hers to good use we can pit Cinder's Destiny against Jaune's Hard Work in a clash of ideals. When creating a clash of ideals it's important to look for the positive and negative versions of the same value. A thematic clash of a Self-Made form of Destiny vs Predetermined Fate form of Destiny. Jaune's position in this thematic conflict being that the person you turn yourself into is entirely up to your own actions. Not Fate. This was also Pyrrhas version of Destiny. Jaune is essentially carrying on Pyrrha's will by representing her ideals in his final rematch with Cinder. It's the idea that regardless or who they are or where they came from it is their actions that brought them here. This should involve Jaune showcasing the techniques he's trained his ass off for pitted against the powers Cinder has ruthlessly stolen while under the belief that this is her Destiny. One that Fate owes her. During their final fight thanks to his training with Ozpin, Jaune has reached his true potential and with a combination of his newfound strength, some strategy & tactics forces her to concede that the previously untalented nobody is now not only the "stronger" fighter but also the stronger person. With Cinder ultimately coming to the conclusion that she could have been anyone she wanted to but has willingly turned herself into nothing more than a monster. A beast to be put down. And she had no one to blame but herself. Hers was a path of self-destruction where Jaune's path was one of self-overcoming. Having triumphed over his own weaknesses and short-comings whereas Cinder merely succumbed to them. Jaune's victory shouldn't simply be in defeating her or watching her die. He should utterly destroy everything that she believes in. Proving that everything she did to achieve her goals was worthless. That everything she did uptil now meant absolutely nothing.

Ozpin & Salem: Whats more, another layer to this fight could be to depict the difference in ideals between Ozpin and Salem. I've always been curious as to who would train Jaune. After all he is the weakest but the one with the most potential and storywise it just makes sense to bring him up to the level of everyone else so that he's not a hindrance on the battlefield. But in regards to training I've always had in mind that either Ozpin or his own Father would be the one to assist him. While I may prefer the latter, despite my preferences I will admit that Ozpin makes the most sense. It's far more appropriate that both Ozpin and Jaune; the two people who experienced the biggest failings during the Fall of Beacon come together to correct the mistakes they made. Both of their failures being tied directly to Cinder it makes sense that their combined effort should be eventually what put her down. With Ozpin seeing Jaune's immense desire to overcome Cinder he finally decides to train him personally to aid in his success as well as make up for his own mistakes. Seen from this perspective it's hard to imagine how Ruby even has a stake in this conflict at all. Cinder's defeat should mean something for characters involved and seeing Cinder defeated should mean the most to the man who failed to protect his school and the boy who failed to protect his partner. That way the victory is actually emotionally impactful because of how personal the victory is to those who had a hand in it. You can also think of this as being similar to Deku & All Might's situation. Remember Ozma is basically the Original Hero. So we have a young boy whose always wanted to be a Great Hero being trained by the former Greatest Hero there ever was. Thus, adding a new twist to the fight so that now it's a battle between the boy trained by Ozpin and the girl trained by Salem. Both Salem and Ozpin have raised up two youths who represent their ideals and the winning side will essentially be the ones to inherit the world. Not only would this conflict be about leaving the world to the next generation but also through these two individuals be a battle that asks the question of what ideology will decide the future. In addition to this, Jaune and Cinder could be used to mirror the conflict between Ozpin and Salem. Acting as a microcosm of their grander conflict. We have this generation's new Hero a White Knight attempting to save a beautiful Princess(Cinderella) from destroying herself on the path of Evil. Just as Ozpin tried to do years ago with Salem but failed. Here we can have Jaune succeed where his Master had failed.

Summary

So heres a quick and shortened Summary of how their conflict can play out: Jaune, no longer grieving over Pyrrha is now using her death as inspiration to become the Hero he dreamed about. He will no longer be treating his life as if it had no value. Pyrrha did not sacrifice hers so that he could die pointlessly. That would make her a fool who died for nothing. If he died then Pyrrha will have wasted her time on him. Death is not an apology. He makes an oath that he is going to live. That he would repay her sacrifice with success. With victory. By becoming the greatest Huntsmen he could possibly be. And save as many lives as possible in the process. He would do it too. Remember an Arc never goes back on their word. But the first step to that, would be defeating her killer. He would seek to surpass and overcome Cinder. Rectifying his first and greatest failure. He attacks her everytime he sees her. He loses every time but each fight he comes back just a little better than before. He won't stop coming back either. No matter how many times she seemingly gets rid of him Jaune Arc always comes back. Whenever he is not on screen he is busy training. With a new move or a new trick here or there and gradually he begins to become a real nuisance to Cinder. Now, remember from Her perspective Jaune represents her past self. Or rather a better version of her that was weak and powerless yet still striving to be strong and through effort is slowly beginning to achieve it. Though not through the methods she currently uses. This is important because Jaune's consistent interactions with Cinder will start to affect her development. Causing her to reflect on her actions and question if the path she's on is the right one(note: we did see a brief glimpse of this when Cinder was watching Tyrian attack that Ursa like a madman). After all if the man she once deemed a weak failure can continue to grow like this what had been stopping her from simply doing the same? He had not sacrificed his limbs and turned himself into a monster. Did she really need to be ruthless? or even join up with Salem to achieve her goals? Thoughts like this combined with Cinder having flashbacks to her past whenever she sees Jaune suddenly makes him someone she must kill at all costs due to him drudging up old memories, making her question everything she's done up until this point. Then it becomes about proving herself correct. About putting the past behind her. That, if she didn't kill this fool and prove that his way was wrong then she'll have lost any justification for her existence and acquisition of power. She had to join up with Salem. It was the only way to become powerful, strong and respected. She had no other choice. But in addition to these thoughts there was also a new emotion bubbling to the surface whenever she interacted with Jaune. Respect. Admiration. For the person who was just like her. Showing stout determination in the face of those who deemed him weak. Driven to prove them wrong. Absolutely dedicated towards achieving his ambition. These such traits would lead to her sparing his life on occasion and additionally, she finds herself slowly yet surely looking forward to their encounters. She remembers his name now. How could she forget? Jaune Arc? The name practically rolled off the tongue. Now whenever he appears before her stronger than he was before she can't help but grin. Eager to attack him. See how far he's come. At this point she's nearly forgotten her hatred towards Ruby. She was enjoying watching Jaune improve himself simultaneously proving wrong all those who doubted him. Even her.

Similarly, we see that Jaune slowly starts to understand Cinder over the course of their encounters, whereas in their first official meeting he couldn't comprehend her actions at all. He starts to relate to her intense drive to be something greater. Bits of information lead to him coming to the conclusion that at one point she was someone like him, weak and helpless. However she'd actually achieved her goal. Coming from absolutely nothing to someone so powerful. Which gave him hope of him doing the same. But her path has made it clear she didn't have any of the heartfelt support that he did. Her having only the monstrous Salem to turn to. Jaune against his better judgment begins to feel sorry for the one known as Cinder Fall. Yet the same time he'd also begrudgingly come to respect her and all that she'd overcome. But he was confused. Why did she desire further power? Did she not see how strong she already was? Then it dawns on him. She had already overcome so much yet she hasn't overcome herself. She was still so lost in her own anger that it has blinded her to the realization that she had already achieved her goal. So Seeing her as the monster he could have become, Jaune makes the decision to let go of his hate for Cinder. Lest it turn him into a monster as well. Thus no longer feeling hatred for the woman he so consistently opposes he begins seeking answers. To understand her. To learn why she is the way she is. After, learning of her past her understands what he must do. Spending all his time with Ruby had taught him that being a Hero was about more that just rushing in and slaying some monster, it was also about lending a hand to those in need. Even if they didn't deserve it(Edit: While I think it'd be interesting if Jaune comes to this realization because of Ruby, we do in fact already see this in Jaune's character when saves Cardin despite all the horrible things he'd done to him).

(Note: This fight can occur just before the final battle. You can have Jaune & Oscar show up fresh out the metaphporic hyperbolic time chamber (or whatever kind of literary device you wanna use) in time to help Team RWBY deal with Salem. However Jaune doesn't have to literally surpass Cinder for this to work. You can have him surpass her metaphorically. In fact it might be more thematically potent to have Jaune still be weaker than her in terms of overall power but still manage to win. Showing that for all her great power she's still worthless without the strength of character that Jaune has and thats what makes her weak.)

Long story short, their fight concludes with Jaune completely besting Cinder. Jaune's final blow kills the parasite Grimm within her. Cinder dies, but only for a moment before Jaune's powers restores her again, but in that brief moment she remembers Ruby and how pointless her hatred towards her was. How petty she was back then. This brief moment of repentance causes the maiden powers to be sent to Ruby. With this victory, Jaune crushes her ideals and sets her back to Zero. Destroying her Grimm parts and using his semblance to completely restore her human limbs and heal her scars. She is completely human once more. Giving her a chance to start over.

The point being: these two characters, whether it's their personalities, characterization or themes simply make for the better conflict. It works because Jaune's existence attacks her beliefs about herself and her motivations for being on the path she's on. Cinder's existence provides Jaune with motivation while attacking his weaknesses as a character and pushing him to be better. Thats what a proper Hero/Opponent dynamic should look like. Yes, I understand that some people prefer Team fights because they find it interesting to have other characters cover their weaknesses in battle and while that may be "useful" it's not as compelling storytelling as having characters overcome their weaknesses. Having someone to protect you is fine but if relied on it can reduce the characters to feeling stagnant. You cannot grow if you're always being protected. A 1 on 1 forces a character to face their weaknesses and find a way around it or overcome it. This is what builds character and leads to character growth. Hence why 1 v 1s are significant in stories like this. It allows the characters to stand on their own two feet when they have to. More importantly, this specific encounter can actually tell a proper story. One of two people with opposing world views, and personalities that come into conflict who are ultimately challenged and changed by said conflict. Jaune helps to rid Cinder of her hatred and desire for destruction, even giving her the option to choose her own path from here on out, while Cinder inadvertently helps Jaune to become the Hero he initially set out to be. Theres arguably room to take this a step further by going in a romantic direction, what with Jaune being a "White Knight" and a wannabe Prince Charming and Cinder being "Cinderella" and a wannabe Princess but ultimately the point is the fight itself gets a story across.

Final thoughts

-Some would argue that they just want to see her get unceremoniously killed off, and while that might be emotionally satisfying in the moment but Jaune saving/not killing her is the better conclusion because it better expresses an answer to a thematic argument. It's essentially one big middle finger to her entire way of life. Crushing everything she believes in the process.

-I know some people might take issue with Jaune being able to restore limbs but this is purely theoretically and I only included it because of the symbolic meaning it provides of the "monster" of Cinder's rage being destroyed and her humanity shining through. However, it should be noted that Semblances grow over time. They evolve. If we look at it in rpg terms Jaune's Semblance is basically at level 1. So for all we know it might not be outside the realm of possibility if it grows even further.

-Others might take issue Jaune beating her at all because she's a maiden but it's entirely appropriate imo. You don't really need to be as powerful as someone else to actually beat them in a fight. "Power levels" don't always decide the outcome of fights.

-If this is to work then theres one thing he should be doing and it's constantly training. That kind of all day, every day, work all day/sleep all night, Roronoa Zoro/Rock Lee style training routine. Only to emphasize the theme of his Hard Work vs Cinder taking the Easy Route of just stealing power instead of becoming strong through her own merit. Basically, Jaune takes the hard road to growth while Cinder cuts corners.

-One more thing that I neglected to mention earlier that leans into the idea of Jaune & Cinder being used to represent the greater conflict between Ozpin & Salem(and I mean strictly thematically not romantically) is that one of Jaune's themes is that he represents The Sun. Jaune's first name meaning yellow in French and the etymology of the name "Arc" not only has "Holy" connotations but is also a reference to the Sun. Jaune Arc essentially means Yellow Sun. The reason this is significant is because the Sun in ancient times was worshiped as the "Life Giver". Which is literally Jaune's Semblance. So Jaune is the Yellow Sun that Gives Life and Cinder is the burning flame that reduces all things to Ash. One representing Life and the other representing Death and Destruction. Much like the God of Light & Darkness but more importantly like Ozpin & Salem as it makes for a great way to symbolize the Cycle of Life, Death & Rebirth. With this in mind if my scenario plays out, the scene where Jaune saves Cinder can be read as: "a wild flame reduces all life around it to Cinders but through the light of the Sun that life is reborn from the ashes anew". If such a thing happened I'd be curious about whether or not this could lead to Cinder gaining a new Semblance, one representing her growth as a character. Something Phoenix related? I dunno, thats just a random thought.

#rwby #rwby theory #rwby theories #rwby meta #rwby theorys #cinder fall #rwby cinder fall #rwby cinder #cinder rwby #jaune arc #rwby jaune #jaune rwby #rwby jaune arc #jaune arc rwby

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yasuda-yoshiya · 5 years

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Sorry I haven’t been around here much lately! The last few weeks (/months, really) have been rough for me, but I’m feeling a bit better at least for now. For now I’ll just drop some overdue thoughts here on some of the things I’ve been watching since I finished Utena:

Princess Tutu

I found Tutu to be a really sweet and charming show with a ton of heart, but I'm also sad to say that I don't think watching it straight after Utena did it any favours for me. Utena portrayed the same kinds of themes around breaking out of predefined narratives in a way that personally hit home for me a lot harder, so Tutu ended up feeling a bit like a watered down version of the same ideas to me... Which is a shame because I do still think it's a really cool show with a lot to like about it! It's visually and aesthetically gorgeous, I adore its whole cosy meta-fairytale atmosphere and the ballet theme and the whole general feel of the show a lot - it just didn't end up leaving that much of a lasting impression on me in the end. I may well come back and revisit it some day, because I feel like I'd probably get more out of it coming in with a clearer idea of what to expect and without Utena's shadow unfairly hanging over it.

For the characters, I loved Ahiru and Fakir! They were both so endearingly earnest and I really liked the respective directions they ended up taking both of their character arcs and their relationship (Fakir passionately rewriting the story to be about Ahiru's bravery and courage at the end made me cry so hard! That's like, the exact kind of individual heartfelt expression of love that hits straight to my heart when it comes to fictional couples, waaaah...)

Mytho and Rue were a bit harder to connect with for me; I felt like I couldn't really get invested in Rue's feelings for Mytho for the most of the show since the backstory around them wasn't revealed until the very end. (I did like Ahiru and Rue's relationship quite a bit, though! That sort of feeling of the narrative artificially pushing them into being enemies when they really could have helped each other as friends was well done.) On Mytho's end I just never clicked at all with the whole raven blood subplot that seemed to dominate his character in the second season, unfortunately. I couldn't make it meaningfully connect for me, even though I had quite liked him as a character in the first half of the series (even in just my generic "hnng cute boys struggling with the idea of having feelings" way). I'd be interested to see on a rewatch whether those two would work better for me having a better idea of where their trajectory was going from the start, since I felt like I didn't really "get" what they were going for with their relationship or how I was supposed to be reading them until the very end (I'm slow okay).

Steven Universe

What an absolutely lovely series! I've been wanting to check this out for a long time, and I'm glad I finally got the chance because it really is excellent. I totally fell in love with the whole Crystal Gem family, and the balance between them all having their own personal issues to deal with while still being able to draw love and support from each other was done really well. I really loved the handling of Steven's PoV in the first couple of the series especially for how they handled his growth around coming to understand that his parental figures are really flawed people who have a lot of baggage to deal with, but also without framing their personal problems or their relationships with each other as being at all within either his power or responsibility to "fix". Instead, his moments of growth are more about more consciously registering the burdens they're under and making those little gestures to ease them wherever he can, like consciously showing appreciation for their parenting efforts with the test, or giving Amethyst more time to vent things out with her friend when she's stressed out instead of asking her to take him home right away. Likewise, on the gems' end, we really get the sense that e.g. Pearl's love for Steven is real and valuable and "saves" her in a very real sense, but also that it's not going to ever fully erase her depression or her grief over losing the life she had with Rose before and that that's okay.

I would say as the show went on, it felt like it lost some of the grounded and occasionally harsh nature that originally drew me to it - the first couple of seasons felt like they had a sort of constant legitimate tension in the background with the gems trying hard to keep things together in a hard situation in a way that still obviously had its cracks in it, and a sort of acknowledgment that "maybe not everything will be okay, but there's still a lot of good in the world and in our relationships that's worth living for", which I appreciated. Whereas I felt like they moved a bit more towards unambiguously positive resolutions as the show went on, with a bit less of that willingness to leave things "unresolved". (Of course the show still has a lot of those moments, like the reveal of Rose's past in particular, but even then I wished that the fallout from the reveal and its lasting impact on the gems was given more time and weight than it was.) That feeling culminated for me in the finale of series 5 and the way the plot with the diamonds was resolved, where it felt like the show pretty much parted ways with reality entirely and fully embraced a kind of ideal fantasy positivity.

But I don't think that's necessarily a totally bad thing, either - it's still a very genuine and heartfelt kind of positivity that can be hard to find in narratives as unapologetically queer as SU is (especially in media targeted at young kids!) and I'm sure a lot of people really need that gap filled in their lives, so I can't really bring myself to resent it overall. The characters remain as endearing and lovable as ever, the show still made me smile from beginning to end, and all in all I have nothing but great appreciation for all the important ground it's willing to tread as a kids' show touching on a lot of extremely relevant contemporary issues in a positive and responsible way. It honestly makes me feel really happy and hopeful to think of kids getting to grow up with a show like this! So while I might personally have ended up resonating more with the show if they'd taken a different direction, I feel like I still have a lot of respect and understanding for the route they did end up taking, too, and I'm glad to have experienced it.

Mob Psycho 100

I thought this was a very cool and interesting show! As "deconstructing shounen tropes" series go, I feel like this one successfully hits a unique sort of sweetspot for me in the way that, rather than brutally tearing apart shounen conventions out from the roots (which is also something I can enjoy a lot when it's done well!), it's instead focusing on taking a lot of the genuinely positive ideas that draw people to shounen - the ability to overcome adversity through personal growth and "the power of bonds/friendship", positivity in the face of despair, and so on - and re-examining them through a more grounded context that asks "Okay, but what does that actually look like in the real world?" Because, you know, it definitely DOESN'T look like people with magical god-given superpowers blasting through everything that challenges them with the sheer force of their specialness and their pre-assigned role as the "main character", right?

So I was really impressed by Mob as a series for not only being so thorough about deconstructing that (to the point that the voice encouraging Mob to use his powers more and be a super special hero is an outright "devil on the hero's shoulder" kind of character!), but also for going that extra step to examining what real positive growth actually DOES look like. I felt like the series did a remarkably insightful job overall (especially in the second series) of sort of gently but firmly differentiating "real growth" from "shounen growth" in that sense. I really loved those little touches like the Emi episode, where the viewer is effectively led to expect a moral about how "people will like you more if you act more genuine and be yourself!" - but then the show very deliberately switches gears to the idea that trying to be more genuine is already worthwhile in and of itself, just because you're living in the world with a more conscious awareness of what's important to you and standing up for the things you care about, and how that authentic way of living can inspire other people and have a positive impact on them too.

And similarly, I absolutely love Mob and Reigen's weird, messy, problematic relationship being the emotional centrepiece of the series, because it's the exact opposite of the kind of friendship you'd expect to be centred in a "POWER OF BONDS!!" themed show, but that's also why it just... really really works! It's such a humble and near-accidental and flawed and limited connection, and I love that Reigen is also allowed to impact Mob in negative ways and have selfish motivations and be unambiguously portrayed as a genuinely pathetic and terrible person and a bad influence on him too, and that the show doesn't remotely shy away from that - and yet somehow it still absolutely shines through that both of them would be worse off without each other, that the "power of their bond" really has changed them both for the better as people. Not through any incredible magic connection, but just through those little moments where they save each other through things like Reigen telling Mob "It's okay to run away", or Mob telling Reigen "You're a good guy".

Because the show is so upfront about the limitations of their "bond", it really does make the emphasis on its positive impact and how fortunate the two of them are to have been influenced by each other really work and have value, I think - because it comes across as that kind of approachable, recognisable "miracle" that really can and does happen in people's daily lives. It doesn’t claim to be a perfect friendship, or to have the capability to fix all their individual problems just by existing, but it does still come across loud and clear that they’ve been a genuinely positive force in each other’s lives. I definitely came away from it with a greater appreciation for those little chance encounters and humble relationships that have helped me and shaped me as a person! On the whole, I'm sure the show isn't for everyone, but I would definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys shounen as a genre at all, because I feel that it really works as a remarkably critical and self-aware yet loving celebration of the spirit behind those kinds of stories.

#princess tutu #steven universe #mob psycho 100

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fairyshuuu · 5 years

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romeo | kang yuchan

.summary. yuchan has never been one for love. everything changes when he runs into a girl with purple lights in her eyes and the world turns wondrous .word count. 7.6k .pairing. yuchan x reader .genre. fluff + angst

“All I’m trying to say is that— if love is the way you seem to think love is, Mrs. Blackery— it seems to me like a suffocating and exhausting experience more than a breathtaking one. If you feel floaty but grounded at the same and all you want to do with your already short life is to spend it being near another person, I’d call that encasing, not expanding. With all due respect, but love is something that writers from centuries ago made up to pretend that they know more about life than the rest of us.”

With a few seconds to spare, the graying woman at the front of the classroom closes her mouth and shakes her round head. She puts the piece of chalk on her desk and dusts her short, chubby fingers on her dress before straightening. When she does, the deep frown molding more wrinkles into her forehead smooths out, and her face takes on an expression of understanding. In that short moment where Yuchan feels somewhat victorious with silencing the older woman, she smiles compassionately and makes an uncomfortable heaviness settle in his stomach.

“That is an interesting perspective. Can I ask, have you never been in love before, Mr. Kang?”

The class— already quiet before, now feels deafeningly silent and thick. Like everyone is here to look through the glass of his zoo exhibit, waiting for a reaction that he’s not willing to give. Yuchan scoffs as he looks to the side of the room with his hands crossing over his chest, and so the professor doesn’t press. She moves her gaze to the other students in her care and starts the lecture again about where she left off. “Since you all seem to have widely various ideas about Shakespeare,” her eyes travel back to the redhead before continuing, “maybe we will revisit his works again in the future. Now, would you please read the last sentence we left off on again, Kiyoon?”

Kiyoon clears his throat and glances back at his book. “Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love.” The few eyes he can still feel on the sides of his face now move back to the front, leaving him to stew in his unease for the rest of the hour.

The English literature class continues without another break and when the professor announces class over, Yuchan can’t get out quick enough. He doesn’t think himself as someone to have a sharp tongue or someone who enjoys looking for confrontation but today pissed him off and he has no clue why. Or well- he does, but admitting that now somehow feels like he’s admitting that he is inadequate in some way. The way the old woman phrased her question replays in his mind as he walks through the door, watching her face contort into what should only be seen as a snide of pity. He’s never been in love before, and he’s glad he hasn’t.

From what he knows about love, it seems anything but good. And the pathetic hopefulness of a middle-aged single woman who lives with her cat somehow caused him to open his mouth and stop the class like he’s a preacher on the town square. Ridiculous— and he knows it too. He just couldn’t help but burst the bubble that so clearly floated around her head like an invisible shield. It pissed him off, and for once he can’t quite figure out why. If there’s anything he’s ever been good at, it’s pretending. Pretending he’s fine, pretending he’s not, pretending that the food is good even though it’s so salty that his tongue shrivels up inside his mouth.

He’s always been good at pretending, and so he walks around with a frown as he thinks back to the moment his lips opened and the sticky words jumped to get out. This anger seems misplaced, since it would make him seem like the upset ex-boyfriend of a breakup that had cut so deep that he couldn't allow anyone else happiness, and that just isn’t the case. He’s never been heartbroken before, ever. And it’s not like he hasn’t had his fair share of girlfriends either. He’s been broken up with and has done the breaking up, and breakups have never felt like how they describe it in books.

As he makes his way outside and feels the sunshine play on his face, he sighs. Thinking about it wouldn’t do him anymore good, but his mood has honestly been spoiled. Like someone poured some ice cold water down his shirt and he’s forced to walk around with it. He has two more hours to go, and he really doesn’t feel like spending that time near his classmates that so clearly had more to say in class. When the wind picks up a little he stuffs his hands in his pockets and glances at the ground, following the stone path mindlessly as it curves slightly crossing through the grass field.

Summer’s full on it’s way, but it’s still quite cold right now. Spring never lasts long and while summer is his favorite season, the cool breeze is appreciated. An arm swinging over his shoulder knocks him out of his thoughts, as he looks both sides. Jaehyun walks to his right, Jinwoo with his arm resting over his shoulder as he smiles at his friend. “Well, little brother? Did you not hear us call? Lost in thought after Shakespeare’s inspirational words?”

“Ah,” Chan gives his friend a crooked smile and pushes his arm off him, “don’t joke about it. I already hate English literature lectures, but now I might just be done with it completely.” Jinwoo raises his brows slightly, as Jaehyun chuckles.

“What did you do now?” He brushes his golden brown hair out of his eyes and frowns a little when he spots Yuchan’s bothered expression. “What? Two chapters on Shakespeare can’t possibly have been that bad.”

The redhead lifts his shoulders and pulls his brows together with a sigh. “I don’t know.” For a moment he debates telling his best friends, but swallows that idea back down. They wouldn’t understand, and even if they did, they’d be worried about him while there’s no reason to be. So he pretends to smile, and cracks his knuckles out of habit. “I should have just chosen the same classes you guys did. I feel like I’m wasting my time at this school.”

“I think everyone feels like that at least a little,” Jinwoo nods. “I can’t believe we’ve been in the same class since grade school and that you decide to leave us when you’re in you’re in your third year of college.” Jaehyun chuckles at that and reaches over his younger friend to slap Jinwoo’s shoulder, shaking his head. Though Jinwoo doesn’t mean it, he’s right. They’ve been together for longer than he can remember.

“It’s only when I genuinely started trying that I noticed that chemistry really wasn’t my cup of tea,” Yuchan smiles, feeling some of his worries slip out of him. His friends are like brothers, and they really do get him to feel better most of the time, this one no exception.

Jaehyun hums, before fishing out his phone, the three of them now reaching the end of the path. “Well, we actually have a chem lab right now that we can’t miss, so we gotta go. But drinks tonight?”

When Yuchan wants to nod, Jinwoo shakes his head apologetically. “I can’t, sorry. I promised the girlfriend I’d take her to that new place on 6th. Maybe tomorrow, okay?” He looks between the two others, and smiles a little. “What class you got now, Chan?”

“A study session, but I think I’m gonna head home. I’m really tired.” His friends share a look, before nodding and saying bye. When he watches them walk away, the thick feeling comes back for some reason, now settling in his lungs and constricting his breathing. It’s distracting at best, slightly painful even. He starts walking and tugs up his hood to keep the wind from blowing his hair into his eyes. With his hands back in his pockets, he makes his way down the driveway and towards the street, where his old car must be parked somewhere.

The loud buzz of the wind blowing past is distracting, and so he only notices the pair of feet coming his way when they meet his and someone runs straight into his arm, knocking him from his path.

“Ow!” it sounds, and then the sound of something tumbling to the floor.

“Can’t you watch where you’re going?” Chan snaps, turning on his heels with a frown. He lifts his eyes from the path to the asshole who just ran into him, and opens his mouth again. He’s not in the mood. It stays quiet though, as he watches you scramble up from the floor and dust off your knees.

“I’m sorry,” you say, turning over your shoulder to give him a guilty smile. In your one arm you are carrying a black pot with stems of lavender, ready to be planted and definitely constructing your view. Your white dress and dainty fingers are smeared with soil, but you don’t seem to care. After dusting some of the cobble from your marked knee, you bend to pick up a second pot with violets that must have fallen because of the collision and hold it tightly to your chest. Without another word, or before Yuchan can help, you’re walking away with a small spring in your step, leaving him behind in a blank-faced confusion.

He only realizes he’s staring when you and your purple flowers disappear all the way behind the corner of the giant school building. With a prolonged sigh, his outstretched fingers curl into a fist before he turns and goes on his way to find his stupid car. The deep, dark feeling trembles in his lungs as he walks, like the lingering of fog early in the morning.

That’s the first time he remembers seeing you, like the ghost of something he had lost along the way without knowing how or when. That purple color of the flowers reflecting on your cheeks and lips in that one moment, where the world seems to stop for you alone. And though it slips his mind a few seconds after, it dwells deep in his memories, digging a nice, little home for itself.

Yuchan smiles as he puts down his glass, motioning across the table to Jaehyun’s shot glass. It’s not that late yet, but he’d have to be up early tomorrow and beginning earlier seemed to be the only logical option. Jinwoo and his girlfriend Eunmi stand a bit further along the bar, waiting for the next round of drinks, and to his side sit some other mutual friends. Hana for one, who has been all over him tonight and— despite his indifference about physical contact, he’s not complaining. Byeongkwan, his childhood neighbor has come out too, along with his girlfriend and her best friend.

Luckily Yuchan has always been a people’s person. He doesn’t even need to pretend to enjoy himself. Hana finishes her shot and shakes it over her head to confirm it’s empty, before giggling softly. The red lighting of the bar shrouds their table in a warm atmosphere. “I thought you had things to do in the morning, Chan? You don’t seem to be holding back though?” Jinwoo chuckles as he comes back to the table, leading Eunmi into the booth first and following after. Chan feels the urge to look away, still not used to the small displays of affection despite having seen them tons of times by now. He doesn’t mean to, but can’t help it either.

As he looks around the group, he smiles a little. There’s three empty bottles of soju there already, but then again— they are with a lot of people tonight. “I can’t have you outdrinking me, old man.” Hana pokes his side a little when he answers, the smile on her cherry lips wide. He smiles back at her, not missing the way her cheeks flush. Byeongkwan and Jaehyun get into somewhat of a conversation at the other side of the booth, leaning closer to hear each other over the music of the speakers as the other girls mingle.

Hana pauses for a second when she catches his eyes though, before placing her hand on his upper thigh, and looking away. Yuchan stretches his arms above his head before laying them back on top of the chair, and swallowing. He doesn’t like Hana as much more than a friend, but he too has to admit that she’s pretty. Her long black hair falls over one shoulder as she smiles over her shoulder at him when he pokes her side.

He’s fine with flirting, he’s not totally crazy. In fact, the female attention is nice and serves his ego well. It’s the stuff that’s supposed to come after that makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t know what being in love is supposed to feel like, but he imagines it exhausting. Like a raging fire that needs to have more and more every time, or the unrelenting movement of waves. Always changing and steering you ways you never meant to go in in the first place.

“Yuchan,” one of the other girls calls him out of his thoughts and away from Hana, “what about you? Do you know what you’re going to do after finishing school?”

His attention is drawn back to the conversation with that, as he gives a genuine smile and a shake of his head. Jaehyun and Jinwoo laugh, and Byeongkwan too nods in understanding. Jaehyun points a skewer at his friend, and takes a sip of his beer. “This one doesn’t think about his future. He has no clue what he’s going to do in a week, let alone when he’s finished with school or in five years. Me and Jinwoo have bets on how long it will take until he finally grows up.”

“That’s not always bad,” Hana speaks up, squeezing his leg gently, “it’s nice to live in the moment.” Yuchan lifts his shoulders, before taking the shot that Byeongkwan filled him and throwing it back. His best friends know him well, of course, though he’s never seen it as a problem. Life is short as it is, planning it all out seems to drain every piece of joy out of it. He’s always been this way, and he doesn’t think it’ll change any time soon. If that means that he’s immature, so be it. Hana suddenly stands up, and brushes her hair back. “I’m gonna go get a cocktail, I want something stronger tonight. Channie, will you come with me?”

Jaehyun’s eyes find his with a small lift of his brow, but he’s already standing up before it can really sink in. “Sure,” he breathes, taking the empty bottles from the table to go return them. It’s obvious Hana is into him, and he doesn’t really care in what way that might be. His friends know he’s not looking for something serious right now, and that includes her. He’s not against having fun and hooking up though, why would he be. Jinwoo and Eunmi get out to let them through, before going back to conversation.

Hana’s smaller hand wraps around his, pulling him towards the bar. The lights turn to an electric blue as they walk, his heart beating steadily in it’s encasement. His long legs keep up easily as the girl drags him behind, only letting go when they arrive at the bar. There’s quite a few people waiting, so he puts the empty bottles on the counter quickly. Hana turns to face him. “I’m sorry for dragging you with me. But I figured there would be a crowd and didn’t want to be waiting alone.”

Yuchan smiles and nods, looking off into the bar a little. Now that everything is bading in blue, the room looks more spacious. “That, or you wanted to get me alone,” he teases, looking down at her. Her eyebrows shoot up for a second, before she pouts her full lips and shakes her head.

“How did you know?” She takes a step closer and puts her one hand on his chest. “And I’ve been so careful not to tell anyone too.” He stares at her when she talks, debating if this is what he wants. He doesn’t want to lose more sleep before waking up early and he doesn’t want things to get awkward when he has to kick her out in the morning. But then again, Hana is pretty, and she’s very clearly into him. “Well, you know know, so I guess I don’t have to be subtle anymore, right?” She never was, but sure. “I want you.”

Yuchan decides to take his shot and leans into her more, bending down to hover his lips just above hers. Hana lets out a little sigh, before reaching her hands up to his neck and pushing her lips to meet his. But their lips just barely brush and the bartender is clearing his voice, and impatient huff coming out. “Can I get you something?” The raven-haired girl pulls back with a surprised look and nods, quickly focusing her attention on the bartender who probably doesn’t get paid enough to deal with college kids making out in front of him.

“I’m gonna go to the toilet real quick,” he sighs, only getting a nod in return before he leaves. He makes his way out of the mass of people now collecting around the bar, probably a frat house that just came in, and rests his back against the far wall so he can have a bit of an overview over the bar. He doesn’t really need to go to the toilet, he just needed some space, and a moment to think away from other people. The lights change again as he stares at the blank space in front of the door, now bringing everything to a soft, light purple. The lavender color lights play between his fingers.

The front door opens again and his first thought is that they should go to a different bar to drink— frat kids are almost always loud and annoying. His second thought is something like a short circuit, because his eyes blink blankly for a good seven times. It’s the girl. That girl, standing across the bar and looking around with bright eyes like she doesn’t belong here at all but is enjoying herself anyway. That girl— you, you are wearing a short black skirt that falls entirely too high on your thighs in his opinion, and a soft, dark blouse that reveals your collarbones and some of your cleavage if he was standing closer.

He swallows the tight feeling in his throat, not knowing where it is coming from but not liking it anyway, and brushes his hands on the sides of his pants. You look as small and vulnerable as you did when he first saw you, and yet completely different. You’re wearing a dark-ish eye shadow for one, making your eyes look sharp and as deep as the ocean floor. There’s a confidence and wholeness about you, making the room twist and turn around your finger. If he thought you innocent before, maybe you look deadly now. In the few seconds that it takes to take you in entirely, you’ve turned around the bar as if looking for someone, and are now making your way over to someone with a smile.

Yuchan honestly doesn’t know what to do with himself. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, with the nervous jitters that tingle through his arms and definitely not with his legs that feel entirely too heavy now he’s leaning here like this. All he knows is that he wants to move, and so he does. Just a shuffle at first, but this seems enough to set the ball rolling and without thinking he’s crossing the floor. His head must really be wired strange, because not a single thought pops up. The harder he thinks, the blanker it feels and the closer he gets. All he wants is to say something, anything. And so he does.

“Hey,” he says, voice not coming out entirely at full volume. It sounds somewhat strangled, so he quickly clears his throat to stop it from happening.

You look up from where you had taken place in a booth across from someone, eyes big and surprised at they meet his. As you look at him with that mixture of curiosity and surprise, they seem to catch the purple light of the surroundings and fill you up entirely. For a moment he doesn’t think you’ll say anything at all, but then your pretty lips move as if in slow motion and he needs to brush his hands on his pants again. It must be hot in here all of a sudden, because he can feel the heat travel to his cheeks. “Oh, hey.” A small smile comes to your mouth, the corners tugging up cutely.

He can hear your friend laughing next to him, but his eyes stay on yours stubbornly, as if refusing to let go. “I’m the person who ran into you in the driveway of the school a while back,” he says, even though you obviously recognize him. A wider smile brushes over your lips. Now he’s this close you look to him like a doll. Your features fit perfectly on your beautiful face and he can’t help the dopey smile he gives before finally breaking eye contact.

“I know,” you giggle, “I remember.” His eyes flit to your face again when you send your friend a little glance. “I have somewhat of a track record running into strangers and being bumped to the ground.” He smiles at the sound of your laugh and looks down, before shuffling back on his feet to look at you again. As your friend clears her throat though, he finally looks at her too, realizing it’s far from polite to ignore someone.

Your friend blinks up at him with a slight frown, which he can tell is making you laugh harder. “And you are?” she questions, glaring up at him where he stands much taller. You give your friend a little slap on the arm at her attitude, which makes her soften up a bit.

“Yuchan,” he brings out quickly, looking between you two girls and settling on your face when you give him a bright smile. That same brightness that you had when he first saw you, the purple brushing ever so carefully over your tongue as you peek it out to wet your lips. It’s like the air is sucked out of the room when you do, so clearly having something he doesn’t and— for the first time in maybe his entire life, he realizes he wants it all for himself. He wants to be surrounded in that brightness, that pure completeness he never had. His heart, where it was beating fast before, seems to hold, waiting for you to start it back up.

And you do, with gentle pumps of words that trickle down into his brain like the coolness of rain. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Yuchan.”

He can tell that’s probably all you’re going to say, but he can’t bear to end the conversation like this and so he bends down to sit on his heels to watch you that way. “What are you doing here?” he asks, knowing it to be the most boring and obvious question but not able to think quick enough to find a better one.

“We’re waiting up for some of our friends, and then we’re going to karaoke.” You blink your pretty, long lashes at him as Yuchan nods, resting his big hands on the edge of the table to keep him from falling over. “What about you?”

He motions his thumb over his shoulder and smiles a little. “Friends.” He bites his bottom lip and pauses for a second to take a breath, lifting his eyebrows slightly. “Karaoke is really fun, I like it too.” Fuck, he wants to slap himself and his dumb, useless brain.

Your friend leans into his view a little as she speaks, still with that slight suspicious glare but a more approachable one now. “Maybe you should come next time, and win us a round. Because I’m shit.” This makes you and him both laugh. Before he can answer though, a hand wraps around his bicep and is pulling him from his heels to stand up. It’s disorienting, going from the deepness of your eyes to the brightness of the loud, purple room and the people in it. He looks over to see Hana looking at him, her free hand limply hanging next to her.

“Where did you go? I was looking for you-” she pouts, eyes gliding from his over to the two girls in the booth. Her words trail off when she takes them in, a little twitch in her smile revealing her annoyance. “Who are they?” Her words probably sound friendly to anyone else, but Yuchan’s been friends with Hana for long enough to notice the poison dripping from them as she regards the two strangers. Before he can say anything though, you smile at her and shake your head.

“Yuchan is one of the poor people I’ve bumped straight into while trying to be productive.” You wave your hand dismissively. “Sorry for that.” You turn to him then, and send him such a gentle, lovely look that his heart soars out of nowhere. “Maybe I’ll see you again sometime, Yuchan. Have a good night.” Hana makes a non-committal answer before dragging him away from the booth and back to his friends by his hand, and it makes him angry.

There’s really no reason to be, but he’s angry, and the longer he thinks the deeper the anger seems to dig. The color of the lights change to a bright green, irritating his vision as he moves to sit down. He doesn’t sit next to the raven-haired girl anymore, keeping his hands in his lap as he takes a seat between Jaehyun and one of the other girls. At the end of the night he doesn’t take Hana up on her invitation to go home with her. He doesn’t know why.

Yuchan doesn’t see you again, despite what you said in the bar. This time though, he doesn’t immediately forget about you. In fact, he wakes up thinking only about you, the first week. The softness of your features, round and plush and in a way— his brain argues, better than anyone else’s. It’s weird, he thinks, because he’s never had this before. Never wanted to see someone again, at least not like this. Not like it’s an integral part of his day, like you seem to have made him feel in the two minutes he spent by your side.

He walks to the driveway and down the sidewalk every day for a week in hopes of running into you again, as stupid as it might be. Even with his best attempt at pretending to be totally fine, his best friends notice something is off, and start making jokes. They joke that Hana scared him into avoiding her. And while not entirely true, he doesn’t want to see her. Maybe because of how he deprived he is, his brain blames Hana for not being able to see you.

After a good week he starts to feel pathetic and decides to stop trying to look for you. It’s not doing much except make him more mad at Hana for pulling him away, and more upset that he didn’t immediately ask your number. The uncomfortable feeling that has been there ever since that one English literature class doesn’t leave, though he only notices it when really paying attention to his body. Even though he gives up looking for you and goes on with his days like normal, the dreams— though more scarce, don’t stop. Every time he wakes up from one of them, his body is too hot and he has to sit up in his bed for a while to calm down.

After a long two weeks the dreams finally start to fade and his brain seems to understand that this chance-meeting wouldn’t happen again. Yuchan moves on, though he doesn’t feel entirely comfortable with the idea, since he knows that time won’t stop for anyone and that you’re very likely not thinking of him like this either. He gets busy with school, and gets into a higher kickboxing league that he has to practice for. Before he even realizes two months have passed and every piece of your warmth that lingered has been depleted.

The end of the school year is coming closer now and he’s put into a research group with some of his classmates to work on a project that would take entirely too much energy and time out of his day, but Kiyoon and Donghun really want to get good grades. Byeongkwan is in his group as well, but he too seems to care less about the whole spectacle. The tasks get separated among them, and Yuchan’s task is to visit the new exhibition in town.

On a hot summer day, with the bit of resolve he has left, he makes his way out of the car and over to the door of the modern-looking, black building. He’d be the first to admit that he doesn’t care about art much, he doesn’t care much about most things and so art is not the exception. But, he decides, rather this than having to sit in a stuffy coffee shop and writing out the entire text like Kiyoon is doing. He’ll live paying attention to art for a couple of hours.

As soon as he walks in he can see the sculptures and paintings, and he purchases a ticket for the event quickly. He ignores the looks that older couples give him as he walks through the gates and glances at every piece just a few seconds. This just really isn’t his scene, and everyone seems to notice. Still, the farther he gets into the exhibition the calmer his steps get, not rushing as much now without the burning stares. He pushes through the curtain to his right into another room, where he pauses for a second. It’s empty, and the far wall is covered entirely in the piece of art that hangs casually. There’s two old projectors shining onto the canvas too. He takes another step into the room and brushes the curtain off his shoulder to shroud the room in the intended darkness, only being lit up by the light of the projectors.

A soft purple light, rolling like waves over the canvas and lighting up the specks of dust that pass through. He scoffs. Funny how feelings can just come rushing back like that, in a split second. Like smoldering coals that suddenly catch fire again and reach to swallow everything around it. This room, though having nothing to do with you, carries him back to the first time he saw you. The look on your face, compared to the second time he met you. His belly is filled with butterflies, and they are begging to get out. And it’s confusing, because he doesn’t even know you. He doesn’t even know you and yet you have had more impact on him than any of his past girlfriends.

Maybe it’s the fact that you’re so unreachable, or maybe it’s the fact that you don’t know— don’t have a clue of how much he feels from that single interaction. He thinks back to that very first day, and the way you calmed the storm that was brewing inside him, even if for a second. You have something that he’s lacking, and he craves for it. Very slowly he takes out his phone and snaps a picture, even though he’s aware that’s not allowed. The picture doesn’t look anywhere as breathtaking as it does in his own eyes, but it would have to do. He sighs and walks back through the curtains, blinking a few times at the brightness of the room.

You stop in the middle of the room and stare at him for a second, before smiling. He can’t bring himself to return the gesture, merely staring at you instead. You look beautiful, and while it shouldn’t surprise him, it does. You’re back to your soft self, the one in light colors that make you look so breakable it’s like you��re made out of glass. He wants to hold you, so he stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets before he can do something he’ll regret. “Yuchan,” you finally say, lifting your one eyebrow at him just slightly. His feelings seem to go haywire for a few moments, before trickling down in nerves and settling in his limbs.

He nods and jogs over to you, blinking down at your smaller form with a tiny smile. “Hey there. How have you been? It’s been a while.” To his surprise, he sounds calm— despite feeling like he’s boiling on the inside. His hands keep nervously flexing and opening inside the pockets and his feet can barely hold still.

“I’ve been really, really good. I didn’t expect to see you here, didn’t pin you as much of an art connoisseur.” When you giggle, his mouth seems to dry out, but he’s forced to answer anyway.

“I’m here for a school project, actually.” He rubs the back of his neck in slight embarrassment when you laugh at that. “What about you? Did you see this one yet?” He points over his shoulder then, to the room that so eagerly brought you to him.

“It’s my favorite piece here,” you nod, brushing your hair behind your ear. When you look up at him from under your lashes, all he can think of is how badly he wants to connect his lips with yours, and hold you to him. It’s not really up to him though, but your lips are so inviting. Like two pillows he could rest on and fall asleep without another worry in the world.

“Yeah, mine too,” he breathes, looking around the bright empty room. “Would you want to… I don’t know, walk with me through the rest of it?”

Your smile falters for a second, but returns quickly when you nod. “Of course. I’ve seen the rest last week already but I just really wanted to come back to see some of the pieces again.” You are an adult more than he is, that’s clear as day, even though you look to be younger than him. Normally that might bother him, but on you it colors a soft blush and is only that much more intriguing. Who are you, and why do you make him feel the way you do? Yuchan suddenly gets the urge to be into art too, even if to have just one thing more in common with you.

As you walk, he can’t help but glance over at you every so often, and watch as you talk about everything with a passion that he doesn’t even dream of tasting. If one thing is clear, is that he is right. You’re complete in ways that he isn’t, filled where he’s lacking. You’re beautiful where he’s ugly and in more way than one does he feel that you were meant to be his from the start. You’re bubbling over with passion where he is lazy, and he’s free where you are static. Two pieces of a puzzle. You smile like everything is right in the world and the longer he looks the more he starts to believe it.

When you two get to the end of the exhibition there’s another curtain, that Yuchan rushes to hold open for you with a grin. You laugh at it and move past him, accidentally brushing your hand against him in the process. “Oh, I’m sorry,” you smile, walking past the curtain as quickly as that, but he might just have lost it. His entire hand is tingly and he needs to take several deep breaths before he can pretend to be fine again. You’re waiting up for him around the corner with a small pout. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he brushes his hands on his pants, and pets your head with a smile, “I thought I saw someone I knew but it was a false alarm.” When you two make it to the exit there’s a last piece on the wall, strangely familiar. ‘Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love,’ is written in thick bold letters on a deep blue background. You stare at it for a while.

“That’s pretty, who’s it from?” Before you can lean in closer to check, he hums softly.

“Shakespeare,” he blinks slowly at the letters where they seem to fall into place in front of his eyes, “it’s Shakespeare.” And in the second after— where you bite on your lip in thought and nod at him, he realizes. He’s in love with you. He’s unconditionally and undeniably in love with you like he’s never been with anyone before, like he’s Romeo and you Juliet and his heart soars because the words on those century old pages were right. He’s in love with you, and no single force of nature will make him stop. And it’s terrifying.

Before you say bye and run for your ride, he asks your number with the promise to go to more art shows if you join him. You laugh for a long while, before agreeing and putting your number in his phone. And as he watches you walk away and wave at him and as he walks to his car and gets in and the entire ride back, does he think about it. He’s in love with you, heart soaring and jumping and beating and banging against his ribcage like it has nothing to lose.

His friends laugh when he tells them. For one, it’s unexpected, coming from him and coming from him so eagerly. Two, they are happy for him almost like they were happy for themselves when they found the loves of their lives. Jaehyun doesn’t pretend to relate but gives him a loving jab in the side anyway, and Yuchan understands what it means. Go for it, don’t fuck it up. He’s not planning to.

As his friends split off, he’s only left walking with Byeongkwan, who happily walks to class with him. It’s been a while since Yuchan’s been alone with the guy and having his company again feels nice. “So who is it?” he suddenly prompts, raising his eyebrows up high. “I still remember you as the little boy who would put grass in the girls’ hair when they tried to kiss you in kindergarten. Didn’t think you’d actually ever change.”

“Hey, come on!” He stares down at his shorter friend and gives him a little shove. “I was never that bad. I had girlfriends in middle school and high school, but they were always just for convenience. I just didn’t want to get into the whole dating thing before, it felt too serious for me.”

“You’re a whole 22 year old man, Chan. It’s kinda time you get serious,” Byeongkwan mumbles. He laughs when Yuchan turns to face him and jumps out of the way for a second shove attack, putting his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I’m kidding. But she must be really special to make you feel this way, huh.”

“She is,” he sighs, “she completes me in every way that I’m lacking. I don’t even know her well yet but I just have that feeling, you know?”

His friend eyes him for a second, before nodding with full conviction. “I totally get it. I had the same thing with my girlfriend. From the first time she smiled at me, I just knew that she was someone really special, someone that I wanted to be near.” He gives the taller a smile. “I’m glad you’ve found someone like that for you.”

As they walk along the path on the way to their last class of the day, Yuchan can’t help but think of you. Like a permanent idea at the top of his mind that is begging for another look, one he’s willing to give gladly. Byeongkwan is talking to him, but the words don’t really make their way in as Yuchan’s eyes follow the stone tiles and brush over your cheeks in his mind. He looks up and sighs, only to find your face reflected there too.

Surprise isn’t enough to express the look that washes over his features at once. His heart jumps and twirls until it is forced to pause along with his breathing. “Ah, it’s Donghun!” Beyongkwan informs him, as if he doesn’t know his own classmate but right now he’s too busy staring at you and your bright eyes and the flowy lavender dress twirling around your thighs. And the way your soft, beautiful hands are laying in the bigger ones of his classmate.

Before he can protest, Byeongkwan is waving them over and steering him towards them like a wave that crashes down on his beach without warning. Donghun is a nice guy, responsible and does his work well, from what Yuchan knows of him. He’d consider him a friend, but right now a strange tremble is making it’s way through his body and he has to sink his fists deep into his pockets or he will punch him in the nose.

When his feet come to a stop so does his breathing, or at least that’s what it feels like. Your smile moves from Byeongkwan up, until your eyes meet his and he can see the recognition flash in them. Your smile widens at him, soft and comforting and he wants to kiss you and start bawling at the same time. Because as wide as your smile is seeing him, when your face tilts to meet Donghun’s your smile only grows even more, dripping and pooling with what he can only recognize as love.

“Hey, Byeongkwan, Yuchan,” Donghun smiles, strong arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you gently into him, “how are you guys? Getting nervous to get back your grades?” He says something that makes Byeongkwan laugh, but Yuchan’s eyes feel heavy and keep falling back to his fingers that play with your dress and your hand that has a silver band on it as clear as day. He doesn’t know how he never noticed, or if it’s a new addition, but it’s a giant eyesore and so he forces himself to look back up to your face before he gets so dizzy from the spinning ground that he throws up.

Suddenly you move forward a little, and place a hand on his shoulder. It’s so warm and gentle, and should be perfectly his. “Are you okay, Channie? You look a little pale.”

“Yeah, you might be getting sick.” Donghun agrees, worry in his eyes. Yuchan wishes he could tear you away from him, but your hand looks so comfortable resting in Donghun’s, and he can’t bring himself to watch that smile fade from your lips.

“Yeah,” he croaks, trying to clear his voice as he takes a step back, “I’ll probably head home. I don’t feel so good.”

Donghun nods, before looking down at you. “I’ll let the professor know, will you walk him down?” At your cute nod Yuchan’s heart launches again, crawling at his rib cage to get out and cling to you. Donghun smiles at you then, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. His hands come to rest around your face so slowly that he can see every single breath you take and every blink of your lashes.

And if he is Romeo, and you are Juliet, perhaps Donghun is one of the Capulets, or the universe is the Montagues. Perhaps that one small smile is his poison, his beginning of the end. Or maybe the confusion is his end, the naivete of two young kids that are not meant to be but believe with all their heart that they are.

In one swoop Donghun presses his lips to yours like it’s the most normal thing in the world and Yuchan is left on the side with his arms pressed to his stomach. His lungs, his mind, his entire heart feels void, dry and static. His eyes stay glued to the scene for the eternity that it seems to last, and the image of you in your purple dress with the purple flowers and the purple light blinks through his mind like you were meant for him all along. You two separate with gentle smiles, only adding another knife to his chest without meaning to.

And then you turn to him and press your hand to his head with a concerned frown. “Let’s get you home, huh? You’re burning up.” His mind spins when his friends wish him goodbye and let you lead him towards the driveway.

Yuchan can’t hear you when you tell him to be careful. He can only swallow down the tears crawling their way up to his eyes, and pretend he’s okay. He can pretend that you are still his Juliet, and that everything is going to be okay when he wakes up tomorrow. But deep down he knows that Shakespeare is right, and that no force of nature will stop his love for you. A tear eventually does make it down his cheek, but you don’t notice.

thank you for reading!!! i hope you liked it and that this was decent, since it’s one of about 2 fics out there of ace. please let me know if you want me to write more ace because im in love and they are the definition of underrated so it would be my pleasure :)) hope you have a great day or night and thank you!!!

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