#since clearly i am not an expert on this genre | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

minjoonalist · 2 years

Text

Alexithymia. | JJK +18 [2 of 3]

Pairing: Demon!Jungkook x Reader

Rating: Mature +18

Genre: Angst, Smut, SoulmatesAU

Word count: 15.8k

Description: Jungkook always had a pull to you. An unexplainable connection that brings him to your side daily, like a permanent routine. Is it a hobby? An obsession? Or was the centuries old prince just bored? No… boredom doesn’t make his heart race. It’s not supposed to make him lose his own self control, or fill him with blinding rage, and it certainly isn’t supposed to have him hallucinating the strangest things until it drives him back home for answers. Maybe he just cares too much for you and he thought that it’d be better to wait than to give in, but the longer the prince of darkness spends his time away, the more he realizes he has absolutely no Idea what emotions have been festering since the very beginning. What if he could just turn them off?

Warnings: Cursing, explicit language, mentions of blood, black blood, mentions of killing, priceless object is broken, sadistic friends, slight back stabbing (metaphorical) but its out of good?? intent, lots of sexual tension, mentions of suicide, heavy make out, eventual smut.

Song Inspo: Pretty- The Weeknd, Waves- Normani, Softcore- The Neighbourhood, Middle Of The Night- Elley Duhe

Author’s note: This is a mini series of three parts due to the high word count lol Also In no way am I an expert on demons, all of this is from the top of my head or made up honestly. It’s more of an angsty self-indulgent plot to write demon JK for (several months) so please enjoy and if you want leave your thoughts on it as well! :)

Masterlist | 1 2 3

II. Emotional Deficit

“Welcome back.”

He hates that he’s hearing those words. It’s irritating at most but still, Jungkook couldn’t be happier when they’re coming from the two people he needed to see at this moment.

Sitting within their private room for the first time in years, he finds himself residing in the dual leather seats of their luxurious common space. The area itself was darker than he remembered of the two, the atmosphere closing in the second you found yourself there but somehow still inviting enough that you didn’t want to leave. They clearly changed a lot over the time he hadn’t been around.

It's funny how much effort went into making it this way when the owners hate to have company. Jungkook thinks to himself as he shifts to get him comfortable within his tense position. Honestly, his back was still killing him and he felt as if he was running out of breath more often.

He’s really a dumbass for fighting Yoongi.

Jungkook suddenly clears his throat as he thinks about that-staring at the hard wood floors where his boots lay before he glances at the blood red hair falling messily around one of the judging couple’s heads.

“Hi Jimin and…-Hobi Hyung.” Jungkook’s awkwardness shows through his uncomfortable stature, temporarily looking elsewhere to hide his slight embarrassment.

His body is stiff and frozen like ice while two pairs of naturally alluring eyes stare him down within the secluded room. It made him feel even more on edge than before, itching to go back to your apartment where he hopes you’re sleeping safely.

Right, Jungkook felt even more embarrassed, thinking about you…

He couldn’t believe how much of a coward he was when he left you standing there before, but sadly the reason he was here couldn’t be ignored if he’s going to be able to stand in the same room as you again.

Unsurprisingly, the man had given up, showing up to those that could possibly understand the foreign emotions that were tearing him apart. Not only that but he refused to give Yoongi any satisfaction in knowing he was somewhat right, probably predicting that the youngest would make his way back home at some point.

Jungkook clearly didn’t notice it for himself, but then again he didn’t notice a lot of his behavior that was gradually building up over the years.

Hoseok, after giving Jungkook a once over, arches a thick brow and runs a slender hand through his tapered jet black hair before he adjusts his black shirt. His legs then cross within his slacks putting on a professional position as he leans back within a leather chair in his common room. It was strange how serious he looked, completely opposite of his joyous nature, so Jungkook knew a topic like this had to be as important to his brother as it was to himself.

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was in for, but if it meant getting back to you faster he’s willing to put up with it. Not only that, but putting an end to this torture that was plaguing his body and mind at the moment.

He can still feel what he was feeling before…it hasn’t gone away.

Jungkook then swallows, feeling on edge as he watches Jimin come within his casual attire to sit comfortably on the King’s lap, looking and acting as any normal couple would.

Like how he wishes you could. He’s envious.

“I was told by Yoongi you left home to go see your girlfriend. Change of plans?” Hoseok begins after receiving a sweet peck from his lover. This causes Jungkook to frown not just in jealousy but from the title he’d given you so carelessly.

Hoseok must have picked up on one of Yoongi's bad habits because Jungkook then rolls his eyes and curses the man mentally for spreading that private information. “I only wanted to check on her and she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Yoongi said you’d say that.” Jimin suddenly chimes in, laughing softly and causing Hoseok to let out an easy chuckle. “—He also told us you were in deep denial. The both of you apparently are…”

Hoseok then shrugs with a smug smile. “They’re the perfect example of an alexithymic bond, according to him.”

“Kind of reminds you of a certain someone, huh?” Jimin cackles under his breath and Hoseok immediately tenses back up, a look of slight embarrassment behind his eyes as he chooses to focus back on the youngest.

Meanwhile, Jungkook stares irritably like a child, realizing, first he would need to talk with Yoongi again and set a few things straight about sharing his personal life and second, that watching two of his other friends find humor in his situation definitely wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“Are you done?” He scowls and huffs when Jimin motions him to speak. “Look, I didn’t believe Hyung when we talked earlier. I couldn’t think about anything else when I planned to stay with her. I thought at the time I could control myself, my emotions, but I think they may be too out of reach. He told me I could come to you and that you knew how to fix this.” Jungkook finishes with a lingering sincerity in his words that causes a sorrowful atmosphere in the room.

Hoseok definitely understands this pain.

The man nods in thought. “True, if anyone knows how far it can affect you, he was right when he suggested you come to me…multiple times.” Hoseok emphasizes the last part and watches Jungkook’s eyes shift elsewhere, feigning innocence. “Though, I will say that doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll tell you what you want to hear. What you feel might help, might not be what you think it is.”

Jungkook couldn’t care less, he just needed this to stop. It's truly terrifying how secure he felt of himself before he saw you today and now he could say the exact opposite. “That's fine, Yoongi already told me about the bond and that it's screwing with me mentally. So I was curious, can it mess with what I’m feeling as well?” .

Jungkook figured he’d run the risk of another hallucination with you, but not the aggressive emotions that came to him after being near instead. He would have never guessed that the rarest of these situations would end up as you somewhat bonded to him.

“...Well, yes.” Hoseok stares at Jungkook to study him. “We’re not truly meant to have emotions, but once you complete the bond they should settle down.” He concludes as if it were that simple for Jungkook, truthfully it isn’t. If it were, he wouldn’t be here talking to them, he’d have you wrapped in his arms hoping you’d reciprocate what he’s feeling.

Hoseok knows that.

“It's beyond that, Hyung. When I got near her..I felt something strange.” He inhales deeply, thinking back to the moment he’d seen you in front of your bedroom door. Whatever that weird feeling he had, it wasn’t nice and that only reminded him that there’s nothing about him that is. The horrifying image that began to form in his mind and started off so loving, could that be the trigger Yoongi had mentioned earlier? Was Jungkook truly becoming part of his worst self?

Hoseok’s brows raise in curiosity, clearly probing to see where Jungkook was going with this. “Well of course, it's only natural to feel eager. Part of completing the bond will require you both to feel that urge.”

Jungkook frowns, until Hoseok’s words truly hit him and he then waves his inky hand out. “Hyung no…not like that. This wasn’t sexual-or it was?… I don’t know, it felt like I really wanted to hurt her.” Jungkook's eyes seemed to look a little lost as he tried to place it all together. “And it wasn’t out of anger or fear. For a second, it was like a sick combination of wanting to kiss her and then ripping her apart at the same time. I guess that’s what Yoongi was trying to warn me about.”

“I-… don’t think you’ve ever felt that with me.” Jimin says looking down towards his pondering lover.

“It was more confusion and misdirected anger for myself…so not exactly.” Hoseok mumbles with a frown, but they don’t seem as alarmed as Jungkook thought they would be.

Hoseok then taps his fingers against the arm of the chair, having both Jungkook and Jimin look at him in anticipation. “She is human, right Jungkook? You had to have wanted this more than just one time. After all…we do feed on their souls every now and then. It sounds like you wanted to devour her.”

Jungkook is aware, but that didn’t stop him from hanging his head in acknowledgment. “I know, but I can usually ignore that with her and it's not like I have it often. Now it's just clawing at my insides, I-I don't know what else to do.” Jungkook looks up from his feet and meets them with sorrowful eyes. “I’ll die before I do that to her.”

Jimin’s eyes drop from his last statement but he quickly recovers with a sweet smile. “Although I've never seen us harbor so much for one human, it's cute to see how much you care for her.” He says while clearly having an internal battle, which makes Jungkook cringe in embarrassment.

“I don’t think, wanting to eat her soul could be categorized as cute, right now.” He replies to Jimin. “Actually, nothing about our connection has been right. My hallucinations have only proven that.”

Hallucinations? Hoseok’s ears perk up.

“Jungkook–” Hoseok suddenly calls him in a serious manner. “I want to say that I understand where you’re coming from in this, but truthfully, I’m not happy to admit that there's ever been a point in time that I didn't see humans as a way to sustain life. However, I do understand the emotions inside of you right now and can definitely recommend that you’ve reached a breaking point within your connection to her.”

“So what does that mean? You’re saying it's too late? Can't anything be done?” Jungkook tries openly, but the way his stomach turns after hearing that is really solidifying his dilemma.

“I know you’re aware of what happened to Jimin and I when we were suddenly bonded to each other and we were always working together side by side. I won’t go into too much detail. However, you should know that Hallucinations were one of the last things I had begun to experience and each one had become more vivid and haunting than the last. Sometimes I’d even blacked out for hours until Jimin found me in one and...” Hoseok stops, swallowing before he glances towards the small scar above Jimin’s eyelid. Anyone could see the immediate regret on Hoseok’s face, including the lover in question himself.

Jimin sends him a sad smile, but Jungkook could tell it was meant to reassure Hoseok, not pity him.

Jimin then screws his lips up together, taking over for Hoseok’s silence. “I think what he’s saying is. It's not common for anyone within our bloodline to grow an intimate attachment to anyone outside of here. Especially not to a human. So we can’t guarantee anything.” He says before looking at Hoseok apprehensively “However, there are other options and one you should consider before you actually end up hurting her- whether you meant to or not. You’ve already moved into a hostile state and by the looks of it, you’re lucky enough to have pulled yourself out. You can’t go back to her without our help.”

Jungkook straightens up at the mention of another option, but his chest stings at the thought of never seeing you again. “So there is something you can do? ” He asks, his eyes lighting up like a child’s on christmas morning. Both Hoseok and Jimin go warm at the younger’s expression, but it didn’t stop the massive amount of guilt for how they were about to crush it.

They already know it isn’t going to be that easy.

“Yes…two actually.” Hoseok clears his throat with uncertainty and Jimin squeezes his lover’s hand with comfort. It was as if he knew exactly what the elder was thinking.

Actually Jimin does know what Hoseok could be thinking… “It’s okay Hobi.”

“So- what is it?” Jungkook then falters, a deep dread filling his heart when he sees their body language shift.

How could it possibly be worse than what they’ve already told him?

Hoseok sighs. “It’s possible that in your case, your body is somehow mixing both forms of your infatuation with her. Drawn in by her soul and the connection that the bond has created for both of you. Judging from what Yoongi told me, your emotions are everywhere obviously, so even you can’t tell when you’re not thinking straight- which unfortunately has left you at a very unstable stage that you can’t fix unless you complete the bond… or break it.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything when Hoseok stops to let it sink in. He only stares before he says something that just might set Jungkook off. “How do you break it? Glad you asked. Well the only way possible to break your bond would be if one of you dies and clearly you killing her won’t be an option, so we could just throw that one out the window. Since you’ve willingly expressed killing yourself before it comes to that.”

Jungkook blinks to control his sudden rage at the suggestion, he couldn’t even let the idea cross his mind for that to happen. But how could an option like this help him in any kind of way?

“Hyung, what exactly is the point of telling me that?” He grits his teeth.

Hoseok shrugs, clearly showing how much he couldn’t care if that offended Jungkook or not. “It’s better you know everything than me skipping on the details. The more you know, the easier it is to explain how serious this situation is not only for you but the girl as well. I don’t need anyone coming to me later on, because I half-assed on the information of how our bonds work. Now as I was saying, the real option here will actually be a lot harder than contemplating the other. It's the route I took and…it had a price to pay.”

“One hell of a price.” Jimin suddenly grumbles bitterly, grabbing both of their attention and Jungkook’s curiosity.

“Don’t exaggerate, it wasn’t that awful.” Hoseok warns sternly.

Jimin huffs in annoyance. “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who had to deal with you while you were in that state. I held a lot of patience with you Jung Hoseok…and a lot of energy.”

“...What is he talking about?” Jungkook’s eyes widened from Jimin’s sudden confession.

Hoseok’s mouth opens but it's cut short and Jungkook really wishes the guy would just get the hell on with it. Seeing his impatience, Hoseok then sits forward with a look that's sending chills over Jungkook’s body.

“We think it would be best to shut off your emotions.” He finally says and waits patiently for Jungkook’s reaction. Which after a much awaited silence, Isn’t the one he was expecting.

“What—?” The couple watches shocked as the tension leaves his face. They take a glance at each other. “You start off with death and end with that?” Jungkook suddenly chuckles while sitting back within the chair as relief floods him. He exhales and might as well have laughed in their faces, which technically he is. It definitely explains the reason their gazes have turned into daggers towards him.

“You could have at least pretended to take that seriously.” Hoseok says while rolling his eyes at Jungkook.

Abruptly, Jimin’s sassiness had surfaced again while seeing the amusement with the younger’s eyes. “What exactly is so funny about this?” He asks completely straight faced, quite frankly a little disappointed in how light Jungkook was taking this. Yoongi was right when he said that Jungkook hasn’t been himself. At a time like this, they’d taught him better to understand these situations.

The raven haired man in question pauses “What? Turning off my emotions? I’m not a doll, I don't have an on and off button for what I feel. I thought I was going to have to do some fucked up blood ritual or something.”

“No, but you almost splattered your girlfriend’s blood over her apartment walls. Therefore, I don’t think you have the luxury to laugh this off.” Jimin seethes within Hoseoks lap. “Maybe that could be the ritual you’re looking for.” Jimin then clips at Jungkook and he flinches from the harsh words.

Hoseok himself then moves his hand from Jimin’s hip and rubs soothingly towards the bottom of his back, comforting him the same way the other had done for him earlier. He then takes his chance to control the narrative once again. “What Jimin is trying to say, Kook, is that as I mentioned before- with us, there is no need for our emotions. We live, breathe and exist solely to keep order which honestly should be the only objective within our life span. Like we said, mating to humans or anyone else outside of us is uncommon and that's due to the high unlikelihood of a connection in the first place, plus the past members before us who have refused to complete their bond with them. So to say, Almost, if not all of them had broken those bonds as rare as it is. To go through with it, they learned to numb themselves from the emotional toll it takes.” He explained, and the longer he went, the slower he said them to the kid.

Jungkook could feel this conversation making more sense, however he doesn’t like where his mind is getting to in the conclusion. He swallows knowing he should wait for Hoseok to explain, but he couldn’t help himself. “Are you telling me…they took away their emotions and killed their other half?”

Hoseok sighs. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“Thats fucking stupid.” Jungkook exclaims.

“Hey, It’s not stupid when you’re putting both of your lives in danger. Then again you don’t seem to give a shit about yours in the first place. So it’s not surprising that you can’t see the reasons behind it. ” Jimin speaks cautiously, but even then those weren’t a good choice of words.

Hoseok tries to diffuse the conversation, but it's too late.“Jimin don’t–”

“So they decided their lives were worth more than the other? Her life is just as important as mine and despite what you think, I do care. Just not for a lifetime without her.” Jungkook’s nostrils flare as his chest rises harder and Both of the demons across from him are suddenly on high alert as they gauge his unstable temper.

The last thing Hoseok wanted was for this situation to end up just like Jungkook’s earlier encounter with Yoongi. It can be tricky trying to talk someone down who's only being driven by the slightest change of what they’re feeling.

Hoseok then shoots a quick glare at the red head. Do not set him off…

He then clears his throat to gain their attention. “Calm down and stop pissing each other off. I swear sometimes I think you guys overestimate how my patience works.”

Jungkook can hear Hoseok say this through his deafening anger, nothing but the sound of his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he takes deeper breaths to do what his friend asks.

“However, Jungkook, know we are completely aware of the fact that you don’t want her to die and there is a way around that outcome. You can still choose the option of numbing yourself without killing her. In fact it’s to make sure that you’re stable enough to prevent your emotions from continuing their war with your mind. Otherwise we would have just told you to do it in the first place.”

“Might as well have. The first thing you told me was that I had the option of killing her or myself. instead of just saying ‘hey, maybe if you shut off your emotions you can actually save yourselves’. ” He scoffs at them both and Jungkook could still feel the glare radiating from Jimin. “Could you imagine if I’d gone with the first option and decided to kill her anyway? Would you have stopped me?”

Hoseok and Jimin stare silently at Jungkook, stunned into silence from his odd behavior. Hoseok doesn’t think he’s ever seen Jungkook this riled up, but it is a great question if he was being honest with himself.

Would he have cared enough to stop Jungkook?

“…I wouldn’t.”

That answer suddenly shakes Jungkook to his very core, a prickling of goosebumps falling over his skin.

“You are what's important and interesting about her life. Lets not pretend otherwise.” He then hears.

Someone who wasn’t in this room before had spoken up from behind Jungkook and Just like him, both Jimin and Hoseok's eyes widen as they stare right behind him. He couldn’t tell at first but the moment that overwhelming power had hit him and the couple- he knew very well who was there to greet him.

He swore he was having the worst luck ever...

“Jin, always making an unforgettable entrance. I thought we asked that you at least give us a warning before coming here.” Hoseok sighs but it was clear he was too drained to be irritated with the elder’s intrusion.

“Though that doesn’t change the fact that you are here...what do you want?” Jimin asks clearly, holding enough emotion for both.

“I was told our famous troublemaker made his way back, I thought I’d drop in to give him a welcome. Since apparently no one else is capable of communication.” Seokjin announces clapping a hand on the man's shoulder with a sly smile stretching across his face.

The younger frowns skeptically. It was odd, Jungkook wasn’t used to seeing him within his ‘Human’ form. So it surprised him when the platinum blonde look of his friend is who he’s met with on his side grinning like an idiot. Not only that but he had on the kind of all black suit only a CEO of his own company would wear. Meaning the man clearly had more important matters to attend yet he’s popping in at a time like this.

Jungkook doesn’t trust it.

“He hasn’t been here for more than an hour. How could you possibly know?” Jimin frowns with astonishment while also looking over to Jungkook.

“He shouldn’t be able to…” Hoseok adds on.

“Why...Yoongi told me, of course. I always know what's going on with all of you, even down to that poor girl, Jungkook likes so much.” Jin beams with a handsome smile towards the three. It was one that made Jungkook uneasy, especially not after hearing what Jin had to say about you.

Honestly, He loved the man, but his eldest friend definitely never knew when to shut the hell up about something he didn’t know and everyone knew it was only his status and ego to blame. Sometimes he wondered how Seokjin came to be at that level of power in the first place.

Jungkook however couldn’t help when his fists balled up in his lap, staring head on at his friends. He then shoots his eyes sharply towards the king beside him. “You know nothing about her.”

Jin grins while tilting his head in a taunting manner. “Now what makes you think that?” He asks, with an unwavering gaze. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking I wouldn’t be interested in the reasons you’ve been away from home. That includes whoever is holding your attention at the moment.” The implication sends a chill down Jungkook’s spine when he sees the mischief behind his friend’s black eyes.

He knew Seokjin’s sudden appearance wouldn’t be good.

“Have you been watching her? You wouldn’t…” Jungkook asks, fear laced within his voice. He may not like what he has to say, but if that's true and Seokjin really has taken time out of his day to go see you then there's no doubt there's some truth to his words.

“No…I’ve been watching you and her.” Seokjin answers, but then a thoughtful look makes its way to the elder. “I also remember having a fairly entertaining conversation with Y/n not too long ago. She really misses you Jungkook and I have to say I’m a little disappointed in the way you’ve left her by herself. You never know who may try to get to her…”

Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief, hoping none of this is true. “You spoke with her?”

“Yes, many times actually. We’re pretty close I’d say.” Jin grins down at him with pride in his chest.

Jungkook’s eye twitches and it feels as if his world is beginning to crumble beneath him. “You’re lying, if you did I’d know.”

“Well of course you wouldn’t and neither would she. Every conversation I’ve ever had with her is buried deep in the back of that simple mind, she wouldn’t know who I am unless she sees my face. I got so bored of you not noticing that I left you a hint, remember?” Jin goes to sit on the spare couch beside all of them, shrugging as he puts his feet up on the expensive looking decor of Jimin and Hoseok coffee table.

Jimin huffs in annoyance, but Jungkook knows the man can only bite his tongue.

“You didn’t think we weren’t going to keep tabs on you while you were away did you? Why else do you think Yoongi agreed to help you so easily?” He laughs as if this was such a light hearted matter.

A hint…? Jungkook tries hard to rack his brain for whatever Jin could have left behind but nothing comes to him. When he saw you earlier nothing seemed to be off about you, in-fact you looked perfectly fine aside from the broken gaze that you unknowingly gave him when you realized you wouldn’t see him once again. That was to be expected, he’d tainted that hope in a matter of seconds, but it was only because he knew he couldn’t stay there with you. Not with everything that had happened before, his fight with Yoongi, his anger, and Hallucinations…

That image of him pulling you into his arms and holding you close for dear life. You looked shocked at first but eventually your beautiful smile rose on your face as your heart fluttered from your excitement. Jungkook focused so much on that small detail- mouth salivating the second he senses the purity lying with you. It was such a wholesome feeling- you and him. How happy the both of you were, but the thought of ripping that purity from you certainly wasn’t.

Jungkook’s blood suddenly runs cold when he remembers vividly what was so out of place. The reason he nearly went insane while thinking of you and another-what was setting him off in the beginning.

“You marked her with your scent…just so you could piss me off?” Jungkook’s anger was piling on dangerously from the new information, a slight pain in his stomach from realizing how Yoongi may have been lying to him this entire time.

Did he smell Jin too? That could explain why he was trying so hard to get him to leave.

Seokjin shrugs. “Did I? Oops…”

Jimin’s face turns down and he looks over toward Jungkook with sympathy. “Jin, you’ve overdone it.”

Jungkook knew something was off…He wasn’t going insane after all. “Are you fucking kidding me? Couldn’t you have respected my privacy? I’m not some goddamn child and it’s getting pretty old how often everyone is treating me like one. Nothing about this is okay.” He sneers, now wondering if Jin is the reason he couldn’t get to you this whole time.

Hoseok shifts uncomfortably from the elder’s demeanor, after listening for a while. “While I personally don’t agree with Jin’s actions. You aren’t doing that great of a Job at proving us otherwise, Jungkook. Despite what you think, we do care if something happens to you.”

“This is your way of showing you care?” Jungkook replies immediately, but then something hits him. “-wait what do you mean we? Did all of you know about this?” He then asks and knowing the answer it was only going to make things worse.

The couple once again shares a look and this time they look to Seokjin as well, clearly having an inside secret that Jungkook didn’t know about. He waits for one of them to say something, but all he’s met with is a deep uncomfortable silence that only had him seeing pitch black once again.

“You’ve got to be shitting me?” He almost growls when the heat in his voice takes over. Before he knew it, the demon was triggering a lethal state within the room, it was like finally watching a child throw a tantrum. Once again, that itch inside him was burning and he just really wanted to hurt something.

From where he’s sitting, Jungkook can see how Hoseok’s eyes had shifted as well- all whites going completely pitch black as the dark veins around his face came in under his control. It's just a safety caution, one that usually any of them always had to activate between the seven of their personalities over time.

It's also what Yoongi used to protect himself earlier, Hoseok’s essence slowly seeping out to match Jungkook’s rising mana.

“Jungkook calm down, If it pisses you off that much- there's a lot of talk of seeing you around with a human girl regardless. There's no avoiding it. Think about it, you have plenty of enemies, we all do. Did it ever occur to you how she hasn’t become a target from your recklessness? did you really think you were protecting her enough.” Jin raises a brow himself, watching just as on edge as Hoseok was.

Jungkook knew it had to be because of how out of character it is for him, but those words only egged him on. Everything was spiking and he couldn’t stop it, passing over Hoseok and Jimin to glare daggers towards the eldest king.

“Don’t tell me about putting her at risk…You went behind my back to go see her. How about if I go around poking in your affairs?” He huffs aggressively.

“—Then you’d be an idiot, asking for death.” Seokjin simply answers. “We only discuss the important matters of your relationship and yes unfortunately that includes watching your screwed behavior. We had to be sure.”

“And Y/n? What did you talk about with her?” Jungkook suddenly rises from his seat and towers towards Jin.

“Nothing you need to worry about. I simply wanted to meet her myself. I wasn’t there longer than 5 minutes, you can ask Yoongi if you need that assurance.” The man stares up at him with a blank expression, but never loses interest in Jungkook’s foreseeable burst of anger. It only pissed him off more to see how unbothered he was.

Did his eldest friend really not care for his feelings towards this? Or was he just saying all this because he knew it would piss Jungkook off? Little did he know, there was always a method to the eldest actions.

Just what exactly is he playing at?

Jungkook shakes his head, looking around the room. “If it was so important to lie to me, you could have done something. Or does everyone want to sit around and laugh? Does that make you feel better? Me admitting it out loud for your amusement. I had my head so far up my ass, I couldn’t tell my own friends were lying to my face. Well, as I already told Yoongi, you all can fuck off.”

He didn't get it, He knew what Jin said was right. Jungkook was careless, too busy thinking about when was the next time he would see you- when he wasn’t even sure there would ever be a next time. It was too much at once, realizing how much he endangered you, but also how much Seokjin would actually be right.

How everyone was right and he was too blinded to see what's been festering for years. How long has Jungkook been in the dark about himself? When did he start sweeping it all under the rug?

It made the blood in his veins boil from his stupidity. He felt like breathing fire just for that epiphany and so when he felt it overflowing- The bond, his emotions, his selfishness and how much he missed you, he’d abruptly lifted a fist and landed a perfect blow onto the mini table between everyone. A booming crack erupts within the space, causing the duo to be unsettled. The force violently shatters the entire object into pieces, knocking Seokjin’s feet to the floor and before he could realize it, Jungkook’s temper had taken a hold of him. It catches everyone including himself by surprise, sparking another very long silence between the group.

After a while, Jimin was the first to speak, his fiery eyes glaring at the shattered table in front of him. He then shifts in Hoseok’s lap- taking a deep breath to calm his own temper. “Okay make this a note, no more meetings in our nest.” He says as he pinches the bridge between his nose and ultimately ignoring Jungkook for his benefit. “Actually no more company within our space, this is worse than when Namjoon knocked over that emerald vase.”

Hoseok, on the other hand, looks calm and collected. He stares at Jungkook but instead of rage he only holds sympathy and Hoseok must have known he caught that, doing well to cover his own anger again. “...Don’t get me wrong, if it weren’t for the fact that you have absolutely no control over your emotions- I’d pick each of your bones by one and use them as a replacement table. That was an eight century old piece Namjoon gifted us—”

“—After he broke our vase.” Jimin deadpans bitterly.

Hoseok then frowns disapprovingly. “But do you now see why you’ll need to numb your emotions? What if that was your girlfriend instead? You wouldn’t need to worry about the bond or anyone coming after her for that matter, because she would have already died from you.”

“How many times to I have to say shes not my girlfriend.” Jungkook sighs in defeat. The both of you aren’t together and again he didn’t need to be constantly reminded of himself on the matter.

Jin, who Jungkook had honestly forgotten to be sitting there, scoffs at the notion “Huh, Yoongi said you’d say that.” He laughs clearly amused and completely unfazed by the kid, but somehow still adding fuel to the dampened fire.

Hoseok then switches his attention to the fellow king “Jin, man, please stop talking. You are the reason he just lost his temper and I don't think Jimin can handle losing another piece of our decor. You did invade his space after all.” He pleads while still consoling a much gloomier lover and Jungkook swallows thickly.

Seokjin huffs, his humor filled smile slowly dropping off when he sees the heavy emotions behind his friend’s face. Suddenly, he then claps his hands together- making a thunderous noise that has Jungkook jerking just a little.

“Fine, I guess the kid is beginning to learn his lesson.” He starts, demeanor going deathly cold as he faces the youngest.

Jungkook can’t help but to listen and take him as seriously as he’d put on, watching the way that darkness over takes his eye sockets. And the paleness in between his deepened veins. Its chilling, knowing only Jin was capable of that power.

“From what I heard earlier, you took everything Hoseok was telling you without much consideration. Which only shows me that obviously you’re not grasping the decision you are about to make. Not only that, but how you’ve decided to handle your own mistakes by taking it out on your family when we’re trying to help you fix it. There are times we spoil you, like letting you leave your duties here unattended or not reprimanding you when you’ve clearly lost any control on your own power and we do it because we want you to come into your own maturing. It’s sad that even with this freedom, you’ve caused nothing but trouble and too much attention- which is why I told Yoongi to watch over you since he seemed to be the most worried . Who knew you’d repay him by tearing his arm open in the process.”

Jimin sighs, seemingly over losing one of his prized pieces. “Jin...it’s fine.”

“No, it is not.” Seokjin glances at him with a harsh gaze, having the prince fall back into silence.

Seokjin then goes back to a quiet Jungkook. “You’re lucky it's me here and not Joon, he’d probably take it upon himself to rid you of your connection to her despite you disagreeing. Fortunately, I didn’t tell him everything you’ve been doing, he only knows about Y/n and that you’ve definitely taken a liking to her. Maybe, we can keep it that way, but first you need to clean up your mess. Listen to Hoseok and turn off those damn emotions, before you end up killing Y/n and yourself.”

“I-” Jungkook wants to defend himself, but when he thought about it...was there actually any point?

He’s wrong and he knows it, plus the prince knows just how lenient they’ve been with him. He was fortunate to be where he is, he could have been at the bottom ranks- a no name slaving away for the rest of eternity...he would have never met you. “Yes, Hyung. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, those are only words. We didn’t bring you here to watch you disappoint us, nor would we ever want you to fail.” Jin watches as Jungkook’s pride leaves his expression and sees the resolve in him instead.

Meanwhile Hoseok looks at him and Seokjin, they both nod in confirmation- giving him the go ahead to continue on with Jungkook. He just didn’t know if this would be something Jungkook is capable of handling once it's done. “ I can help you turn them off Kook...however, turning them back on won't be easy. You might not even want to, it's up to you whether you complete your connection to her or break it. Do you think you’re up for that?”

“You can’t undo it by yourself, that's for sure. They’d gradually have to come back, either over time or I guess if something really special happens. There's no true way to tell how your relationship will continue with her.” Jimin looks to him as well, everyone’s eyes falling on the poor prince and awaiting his answer as he thinks hard about it.

What other choice did he have?

Jungkook nods in understanding, the image of you and your smile coming to him and it hurts to know that at some point- that may no longer have his heart skipping like it is at this moment. Still, he’d rather have you and make you happy while he felt nothing - than to not have you at all. So once again his mind was made up he didn’t need another second to begin his transition.

“Okay, let's do it..”

Hoseok nods.

He then stands from his seat, bracing himself as if he was going to go to war and both of the couple follow. Jimin gets up first and then Hoseok, standing apart and Jungkook waits when he sees the king rolling up the sleeves of his button down and how Jimin begins to move the furniture back. The broken table shards, the chairs, even the couch Seokjin had been lounging on.

Jungkook is suddenly nervous from the strange preparations.

“Wait, how exactly are you going to help me—?” He couldn’t get the rest out. Hoseok signals to someone and it wasn’t long before both of the prince's knees were being kicked in from behind, causing him to drop towards the ground and his arms abruptly being pinned behind his back by an incredibly strong force.

Jimin stands to the side and Seokjin is nowhere to be found. Which makes Jungkook assume that’s who’s holding him hostage. Meanwhile Hoseok is approaching Jungkook, pitch black eyes staring straight at him as a nasty smirk makes its way on his face.

“Now, usually you can do this on your own if you have the experience— but since this is your first time we’ll have to do it manually, so this might hurt…-actually no, it will hurt like hell.” He begins just as his calloused hands were grabbing the sides of Jungkook's head and he notices immediately how Jimin cringes in the background- yet he still looks as amused as ever.

Jungkook then brings his attention back to the man in front of him as a foreboding slithers deep into the pit of his stomach. “Um, Hobi Hyung–”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle…” Hoseok somehow manages to smile comfortingly once he notices the shift in Jungkook. “—Oh and I definitely won’t be thinking about the priceless decor you’ve just destroyed less than 5 minutes ago. So just relax and try not to swallow your tongue.” He then mentions with no remorse and immediately destroys any kind of comfort the kid might have felt previously.

Sweat begins rolling down Jungkook’s back and Hoseok then looks up towards the elder holding him down. “Ready?”

“ Let's get this over with, I’m getting bored.” Seokjin sighs in return.

These sadistic assholes…Jungkook thinks to himself.

Hoseok focuses back on him, the black in his veins deepening and pouring through his arms as a smokey black essence begins to seep out and wrap around Jungkook's head like snakes. It’s hot like lava, a searing pain that follows in its path as it slowly inches towards his nose and eyes.

He’d say a silent prayer if he actually prayed…Instead he could only release a pained groan from the heat that was begging to enter his head. The essence falls in relentlessly, making Jungkook’s eyes roll back and not long after afterwards does Hoseok notice the dark blood beginning to drip from his nose, seeping from his eyes and ears in the same manner and Jungkook lets out animalistic scream.

He’s got him…

“Okay, let's begin.”

You’re not sure whether you’d slept through most of the night well, but somehow while you were within a deep sleep, you felt an immense amount of pain washing over you within your dreams before leaving you completely numb and floating in an endless void.

It was strange, how saddened you had been just moments ago after having a weird dream and then waking up instant without any cause.

Just like that void, darkness is the only thing that engulfs you as you come to. Your senses are suddenly alert to any small thing around you and you’re jolting awake violently with intense heat swirling around in your head. Before it runs throughout your entire body, It then slowly begins to fade and you’re taking in a deep breath when you’re very much aware of the sounds filling your lonesome space.

When you glance in front of your bed, you’re shocked to see thick black boots clunking across your bedroom floor and heading purposefully in your direction. Your first instinct is to immediately panic, heart beat rising in the fear of some unknown intruder breaking into your apartment. But then, as your gaze quickly moves around in the darkness, it then follows up the tall figure striding closer.

You’re terrified, immediately frozen with fear when you see how familiar it looks to you in the distance, a strange sense of an unknown emotion taking you by surprise.

They weren’t attacking you, actually you were almost sure they’re doing the exact opposite. The movements are highly familiar and you’re too focused seeing an inked hand reaching towards the bottom half of your legs. In the process, you’re holding your breath and a wary look crosses your face when that same hand goes to grip the sheets you’d kicked off in your sleep.

Realizing this, you know for a fact that the figure was getting ready to pull them over you- just like it always did when you were too hot to leave them on and this only aided in making you aware of how extremely cold you are at the moment.

At times like this, you’d be too tired to refuse them letting him tuck you in on his own volition and you’d know you would just see him the next day.

But this time, you’re wide awake, not knowing if it’s really who you thought him to be and you weren’t willing to wait and see. Without thinking, you shoot up from your position and daringly reach towards the hand you’ve been eying that entire time.

“Jungkook-...”

You barely let the name leave your mouth as what you thought to be a person freezes. Unfortunately, the second your fingers could feel the object, you were immediately met with the air of your bedroom and the entire image disappears like a mirage.

Nothing, you were seeing nothing.

No figure, no black combat boots, none of that beautiful natural ink that snaked up his hand and around his body like an art. Instead your excitement is quickly stunted when you’re suddenly knocked out of your bed from a force that couldn’t be stopped. Your entire body twists and hurdles quickly towards the floor and you’re bracing yourself to hit the ground face first.

“Huh…-?” You open your eyes, suddenly jolting awake again. After a few seconds of awaiting that inevitable pain, you’re actually surprised to find yourself face planted into one of your pillows on your bed.

What… was that? You thought groggily as your eyes adjusted again, but it wasn’t to the darkness- instead you were being blinded by the light of your bedside lamp. You didn’t remember leaving it on and when you had awakened earlier it was off...right?

You remembered sleeping and this weird emotion came over you before you were jumping awake to grab for…maybe it was your light? That would explain how it got turned on in the middle of the night. The only problem is, you could have sworn you fell out of your bed when you did.

You then frown, head fuzzy with confusion as you tried to remember what exactly had just happened. As you moved, you felt more tired than usual, feeling as if a truck had run over your body and you slowly started to sit up within your position, your throat feeling extremely dry after the past few hours.

You sigh, turning to your side to look at the alarm clock that said 3:00 in the morning and your face turns down even more before rubbing at your eyes. How is that possible? You could have sworn that's when you fell asleep and just so you could ease this suspicion, you reach next to the clock to grab your phone, finding it to still be 3:00 am completely un-moving as well.

Strange.

Wondering to yourself how time hasn’t changed since you’ve been sitting there, you swallow slowly and attempt to get your thoughts together. It’s all too eerie for you and you couldn’t let yourself sit still for much longer, finally moving from your bed.

“It’s fine, you’re fine.” You grumble to yourself as you stand.

It’s times like this where you wish you could call on Jungkook, nervous to be in your own home alone. You never realized how much you’ve also grown to depend on him. Calling out for him whenever you wanted and he’d show up in a blink of an eye. Now no matter how hard you tried, he hasn’t shown and this time you felt like you needed him more than ever.

You stumble across the bedroom’s floor and out into the hall like usual when the atmosphere feels way off, almost spacey in a way. The hairs on the back of your neck are beginning to stand and your body shivers as a chill racks down your spine. You hold yourself once you've begun to walk through.

You couldn’t explain the dreadful sense that was easing up on you, feeling as if someone was taking the same steps as yours. It’s like they were watching your every move and hiding, while you made your way to the kitchen.

You huff when you finally get close and unease fills your chest. It only makes it worse while you are traveling through the dark of your own apartment, unable to see who else may be waiting around within it.

Once you are by the entrance, you notice how warm your back is and you could swear someone is standing right behind you- transferring heat from their body to yours. Quickly, panic had begun to set in and you’re shivering in the freezing temperature, pulling your shirt down a bit more for warmth. A constant anxiety of knowing once you turn around you weren’t going to like what you’re met with in return.

There’s nothing more terrifying than this as the overwhelming presence is getting closer. Hell, you could swear they were running to you over and over again, but you’re quick to shake that thought.

Maybe all of this is just in your head…

Before you drive yourself even more crazy, you finally round the corner of your destination and feel on the wall to reach slowly for the light switch. You wanted to do it fast, but that would just ruin the stealth and you didn’t want to trigger whatever it is, but still you couldn’t see a damn thing. So your hand slowly crawls up more as you swallow down your fear and when you are close enough to feel the block shaped switch on the wall, you’re closing your eyes and taking a deep breath for bravery before you flick it upwards and a bright light gives you a clearer look into the housing—

Everything…is truly in your head and you need help.

You release the breath you were holding, looking back to see your living room in its neat and peaceful state. No one is there and neither is anyone else when you glance down the hallway from where you came. No axe murderers or night creatures stalking your movement- just you.

You then laugh out incredulously, almost like a fooled mad woman and relief floods you after finally coming to the conclusion that you were actually alone. You make sure to calm yourself, running your hand over your hair and somehow managing to get it through this time without the knots.

As if you aren’t stressed enough, working like crazy and having the biggest meltdown over your friend, while also realizing your feelings for him. You’re probably going to have to consider psychological therapy, after clearly making up scary scenarios in your head.

Tension starts leaving you little by little, but you’re so choked up from a drier throat- it suddenly has you padding over to one of your cabinets so you could grab a glass from the lower shelf. You then head over to your fridge before reaching into it to grab the water jug, filling your glass in complete silence.

It feels like nothing but that could help and as parched as you are, you’re more than willing to take your first big swallow to soothe the dryness altogether along with your anxiety. The cool water goes down and you hum in appreciation, sighing in content before pulling the glass up against your lips, the only problem this time seems to be that you still don’t feel completely alone.

Pausing altogether, that dreadful emotion makes its way back to you. Actually, before you could even think about taking your next sip of water- you were sure that you heard steady footsteps clunking from your side.

Fear shakes you to your very core and before you could react, you’re looking towards the source only to see nothing, but clearly hearing them as they step around. Your heart is beating rapidly, so much you might as well have been put into the hospital from an unhealthy pace. —Abruptly, with a pitiful whimper you could feel your blood run cold and two arms are emerging from behind you, coming to wrap around your waist as a way of hugging you snugly from behind. Your throat wants to close up- the hairs on your body standing to alert because there was definitely someone’s breath falling heavily down the back of your neck. Steadily, not ragged as if they felt no kind of adrenaline or worse they’d been perfectly calm watching you this entire time.

Kind of like a natural predator.

Normal people would have screamed, moved- do anything other than releasing the fragile glass within their hand and letting it drop eventfully to the floor. You obviously weren’t within that category, stuck in place until you had the strong scent of mint hitting your nose.

Only then did you feel like crumbling onto the ground.

“When did you become a sleepwalker? You hate walking in the dark.” A deep but soft voice chimes from behind you. The melody immediately reminds you of your friend and you're taken back by the way your body is instantly covered in that similar wash of heat.

You slowly reply. “With good reason when you’re sneaking around my apartment.”

Jungkook tenses behind you from the reaction and leans down to place his chin on your shoulder, a simple chuckle rattling in his chest and vibrating on your back. “Technically I’m not sneaking if I let you hear my footsteps.”

“Same, difference. I thought you were someone waiting to kill me.” You say rolling your eyes, but it was clearly all a front.

His chest rises on your back. “Well you’d make it way too easy, stumbling clumsily. You weren’t exactly subtle and I definitely had plenty of tempting opportunities.”

“Oh…” As much as you try to calm yourself, you are still in the aftershocks of your fear.

“...Hey-…I’m kidding.” Jungkook then adds from your silence, but feels your body is shaking in his hold, trembling under his arms and weak as ever.

He wonders if it could have been from you only wearing an oversized t-shirt in your deathly cold apartment or if you simply couldn’t handle the way he had himself wrapped around you for a surprise. He’s studying you, inhaling your scent when it hits him and he’s intrigued when his heartbeat still speeds up, however no excitement fills his chest-at least not in the way it used to.

Now, while you are directly in his reach, it's too bad that whatever Hoseok had done to him, he could just barely feel the parts that had him completely enamored with you.

He’s empty, no happiness, or thrill for being around you. He isn’t sad not feeling anything for you either, if anything he’s just really horny and he likes how your touch sends euphoric shocks all around him. It actually reminds him of what Hoseok said earlier, how others before him did this so they could kill their partners...In some way he can see why.

There was only slight truth to the temptation, when he said it would have been easy to kill you. He just knows logically, if he did, he’d never forgive himself when the block wears off. To be honest he was actually facing a much different dilemma and that was figuring out a way to ignore the secondary effects.

Forcing himself away from the physical pull of you.

Fortunately, he won’t have to worry too much on that aspect- in fact he’s not worried at all. Jungkook honestly doesn’t know how he was able to be so consumed with you before, but it was certainly clarifying without all those thoughts running around in his head.

For instance, earlier, Jungkook didn’t realize how boring it was to watch over you- which is something he’s never noticed before. It should be heartbreaking for his lack of reaction. Him, appearing in your room as you slept away peacefully after not seeing you for weeks and he couldn’t be overcome with his joy once he was finally near you again. He wasn’t distracted with his love and excitement of finding you at a good time, though that doesn’t mean he couldn’t feel anything else.

He specifically remembers seeing how you’d kicked all of your covers off while sleeping like usual, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from running over your body and it seems the only thing he could succumb to is his natural instincts.

He’s considered how he should intervene, afterall it would be the first time you’ve seen him in a while and he didn’t want to just thrust himself back into your life. He could have crawled into bed with you and held you close just to feel something, but he still wasn’t too sure at the time if you were safe. The last time he’d gotten so close he almost allowed the darkest part of him out and thankfully that doesn’t seem to be the problem anymore. Instead, he thought he could at least cover you with your blankets- consistently finding himself to be distracted and pulled to you the more your body was shifting maneuvering to find any kind of warmth.

He could’ve helped with that…wait no- he definitely shouldn't. At least not while he wasn’t not in love with you? It’s only fair.

He found himself wondering what it was you could possibly be dreaming of to have you in so much distress. With nothing else to entertain him- he couldn’t help it...curiousity overtook his thoughts and he wasn’t ready for the images and information he was met with after taking a short look within your head, throwing the man off furthermore into his visit and ultimately messing with his self control.

It was enough to have him thinking, swallowing back his urges and moving across your room to wait. Stupidly, Jungkook was so wrapped up in your thoughts, trying to process your new emotions, he didn’t pay attention to his own movements. A spark of fire suddenly flew throughout his head, causing him to stutter and he stomped forward at the same time your body jolted.

In the end he only woke you from your sleep when he made too much noise, hearing you call for him out of the blue and shooting up to reach for him with no warning. Once you actually had his wrist in your hand- he froze looking down at your miserable hazy expression and it didn’t feel right the way he wanted to touch you or ravish you...he could feel a part of him scratching from inside- mouth salivating and canines growing longer. He was even thankful you couldn’t see the veins deepening around his pitch black eyes at that moment.

Wasn’t this supposed to help with his control?

Shit...He thought, pupils dilating and before you knew it, Jungkook made the cautious decision to put you back to sleep, then moving as far away from you as possible.

It wasn’t until time had passed that he planned to visit you again, assuming that it would be better instead of waking you up in the middle of the night, especially after discovering what you’d had been going through while he was gone. Sadly, he still couldn’t resist, Hearing the way your heart beats rapidly in your chest, your waves of fear rolling off of you and beckoning his darkest nature to follow. Before he knew it, Jungkook felt too drawn to you as you entered the kitchen, listening to the whispers of your thoughts calling out for him. It was like the first time he heard it. You were just as scared and lonely, giving up on the reality that he would show and he was trying his best not to be affected by it. It was actually kind of depressing... If the man hadn’t shown himself just now, you’d probably have given yourself a stroke, or burst into tears sooner than later—because apparently you are now being affected by the bond a lot more than him.

In that moment, he knew the ultimate ways to make it stop, fulfill the bond or break it. Jungkook was conflicted, he loves you and he knows this, even if he currently couldn’t feel it. But still… would this be something you wanted?

Jungkook paced back and forth, hands itching to reach for you and it almost got the better of him, until a sweet smell of almond had them shifting from their angle near the pulsing beat in your neck and wrapping around you- completely giving away his stealth.

Jungkook inhaled, resisting the arousal forming inside.

Yeah, he just fucked himself.

“Don’t stress yourself, I’d never let anyone hurt you.” He holds a little tighter hoping to calm your racing heart, but it only makes its beat faster. Oh the irony- considering how he really needs to protect you from himself.

“That's hard to believe when you’ve suddenly gone MIA Kook.” You scoff breathlessly, lowering your gaze to one of the hands around you and seeing the familiar markings all over it. Without thinking, you grab for it, hoping that once you did, you wouldn’t end up realizing you had been dreaming the entire time. Honestly, it was getting hard to tell at this point. “You were gone for a month and I thought you left me alone again.”

He shifts uncomfortably, frowning in thought about how he’d been blocked from seeing you—which, he later learned may be due to the meddling of his brothers.

He wished he could be pissed, having Seokjin conveniently reveal to him after Hoseok took his emotions temporarily. Apparently, it was their way of testing out their theory about his relationship with you, your bond to their youngest member. Which is now only proven to be completely true and Jungkook wouldn’t put it past Seokjin to have manipulated the situation as some form of punishment for him.

He was truly cruel when he wanted to be.

“I-... had business to take care of at home, it just took me longer than usual.” Jungkook lies, but takes a mental note of how he will be speaking with Yoongi once he gets his emotions back.

“A little communication would still have been nice. Plus that doesn’t explain why you decided to pop in and scare the living hell out of me in the middle of the night.” You swallow the thick lump in your throat while trying not to let yourself be overcome with your feelings. It was hard to control how much your hands were actually shaking at that moment, Whether it be from what was left of your fear or just the overall excitement of having your good friend back.

It's been two weeks and while you are concerned— you’re curious as to why he chose now to talk with you.

He shrugs “To be fair, you told me nothing about you working night shifts this entire week. I’ve tried looking for you every moment I got...” Your eyes widen from the confession, starry orbs filled with curiosity. He sighs, lifting his shoulders “-you were gone right under my nose.”

You’re silent for a moment.“...How did you know that?”

“Know what?”

“That I was working more shifts?” You clarify in an expectant tone.

He suddenly stiffens and you’re already sighing in disappointment when you figure it out. This wouldn’t be the first time Jungkook has found out something he shouldn’t know from you.

“Jungkook…” You say his name and he rolls his eyes, thinking he might have made the wrong move telling you that. “We’ve talked about this.”

He holds a little tighter “I know, I know you hate it when I invade...I just wanted to know where you’ve been.” He continues to lie.

The problem is…why did he feel like he had to? Why is Jungkook putting off the inevitable? You are his soulmate and he will have to tell you that eventually.

“Working and trying not to be worried crazy about you...that would have been my answer if you’d just asked me.”

“You need to be a little crazy to have someone like me in your life, Angel. Otherwise you’d have never come back, the moment you found me again.” He replies a bit too honestly.

“...Did you just call me crazy?” You finally crack a half smile and step forward out of his embrace.

Jungkook reluctantly lets you go and he hums. “No, I said a little crazy.”

“Yo-...You stalked my life for months and have a personal vendetta against my uniform shirt.” You’re ready to point it out.

“Anyone would be scarred looking at that hideous outfit they force you to wear.” He rolls his eyes.

“Jungkook, you burned two sets of my work clothes and I almost got fired for that.” You balk in disbelief while he smirks, completely satisfied with himself.

“A small price to pay for salvation.” He immediately replies and you then move, turning around to face him when you recognize those words.

“Did you just quote Thanos?” The question leaves your mouth when a giggle rises in your throat from your friend and before you know it, you’re finally facing him and seeing him for the first time in a while.

Jungkook actually didn't do much, instead looking down towards you and slowly dropping his smile before running his eyes completely over your face. He falters, barely letting you catch on to the way his brows dip in concentration when your eyes meet and he can sense the change in your mind.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to catch your breath once you stared up at him and slowly went over his whole attire.

Jungkook, no longer looked like his normal dress code. Sure he’s still wearing his thicker boots, but they weren’t the kind you were used to. He’s dressed way more mature than normal, black loose button up undone by the first three and exposing the top part of his chest, he’s sporting black leather pants fitted to the thicker chords of his thighs and you’re then switching to the matching leather jacket that goes with it.

It’s...so mouth watering to say the least, but still made your throat run dry once your eyes went from the simple silver chain on his chest and up to his face. Which also brings you to the most surprising change that catches you off guard. It was the fact that he actually changed his hair. No longer was it draped to his shoulders and hung half-way back into a pony-tail but instead to be tapered shallow on the sides and parted into two directions-cropped right to the top of his forehead. The style itself seemed to add years onto him, making you notice the more structured part of his jawline.You even found yourself, noticing the fact that he had a piercing on his right brow or that his markings flowed further up onto his neck than you’ve ever seen before.

Oh... wow… You breathe and your eyes go wide when you realize you’re probably staring too long. It was impossible to keep yourself from being starstruck.

Jungkook looked like a completely different man and one who had the confidence of someone nowhere near your level. It was striking to say the least, but also just a little intimidating- especially being that you were only in a huge worn out shirt for night clothes.

Immediately, you notice how his eyes go lax just a little, his usual black orbs staring straight into you, possibly seeing every sinful emotion you feel just by the first look at him.

He definitely can and it’s excruciating for him to ignore.

Jungkook clears his throat, ignoring whatever you’re doing to him. “I know I was born in hell, but you’re looking at me like I actually agree with his ideology...” He chuckles.

—You quickly stop him and pull yourself together.

“Kook, no. I... just wasn’t expecting you to look like this.” You say as you shake your head, trying to collect your thoughts, but still finding it hard to adjust to his gaze. For some reason it comes off way more alluring than usual and you have no doubt it was stemming from you suddenly wanting to jump his bones.

Jungkook stares at you a little too hard as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle. He then looks down, thinking about his appearance until it hits him. “Oh! yeah, I guess I’ve never had to show you this persona. I only use it while I’m home and not working.” He tries to explain cautiously.

“You mean, this is what you look like when you’re not here?” You point out with a nervous tilt to your voice. “-Like a crazy hot dilf?”

Jungkook frowns in a humorous manner. “Well, I am a prince...I have to look the part to be it. Believe it or not, being royalty there is like being an A-list celeb here, except with an insane amount of fear and respect.” He teases and yet something seems off. Jungkook didn’t seem like the type to care about whether he could impress others or not, he just does.

“Yeah, well not everyone rules over a section on the dark side mister, so we can’t all be hot demon royalty...well actually except for Yoongi...he at least has the attitude down perfectly.” You’re rolling your eyes before crossing your arms, only to land on the ground- where you recently remembered you just dropped one of your nice glasses. You then move, walking around your kitchen island to grab for a napkin and broom.

“I’m sorry that I was born naturally hot?” He smirks while also catching you off guard.

You lift your brow completely taken back by his arrogance and you’re not sure why but you could feel your stomach roll in reaction.

“ Does cockiness also come with the new clothes or…—?” You trail off as you turn to walk back so you could clean up your mess, but you stop the moment you see it’s completely gone and Jungkook’s dusting off his hands in a haste.

“No, but it does come with the title.” He chirps immediately catching on to your question and shrugs casually. When he does this, your eyes immediately zone in on his chest falling up and down and you’re quickly thinking of a way to pull yourself together. While doing so, you place the napkin gently onto the kitchen counter after putting the broom back in the corner.

A deep breath escapes your chest when you take the time to control it and you’re leaning over your sink before checking the time on your electric stove. The clock now reads 6:53 am and you frown as you turn to look out of your kitchen window. From your view, the seemingly night sky was beginning to turn a lighter shade of violet. Indicating how soon the sun was to come.

What the hell?

“...Jungkook?” You’re calling out into the air and before you knew it, you felt him again.

You look back and towards the rest of the kitchen- seeing him suddenly posted up against the entrance. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows as the mesh, silk shirt hugs him beautifully around his torso. When you’re staring at him again, you watch as he plays with the ring on his lip, but your stomach churns with unease.

“Yes, Angel.” He answers and the second you blink he’s appearing right by your side, startling you incredibly. It's been so long that you're surprised by such a common move with him. You step to the side, somehow more put off by how tall he seems next to you. It’s almost as if his height had changed too.

You cross your arms before asking “It wouldn’t be crazy of me to believe you’re hiding something right?”

With that one question to Jungkook, he tenses as a cautious look slowly enters his eyes and all playfulness is gone when he sees the confusion falling into place within your mind.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He plays dumb.

Of course he is, he just didn’t think you’d pick up on his mistake.

You turn, leaning back on the counter and put yourself to thought. “I went to bed at 3:00 am and woke up a few minutes ago at 3:00 am…it's almost 7:00 now.” You state more so as if you’re trying to piece it together yourself.

“You must’ve been dreaming or something. Don’t stress yourself out over it.” He swallows, suddenly seeming on guard and it's almost unnerving how straight his face has gone to hide any expression.

He looks hollow.

“Stop that.” You frown, seeing something completely off about it. “I know you’re reading my thoughts again...I can feel it.”

“I’m not always reading your thoughts, Y/n.” He huffs, stepping up and looking down at you completely convincing to the naked eye. Deep inside, you knew better. You stare at him and don’t back down from your concern.

“What is it kook, I know something’s not right.” You grit.

“What's making you think something’s wrong?” He sends you a defensive look and shrugs.

“That right there!” You point immediately. “ You’re getting upset.”

It feels like Jungkook had suddenly put his mask back up as soon as you said that, which isn’t something normal to happen between you both. You frown deeper, looking at him. It was little at first, but you realized why Jungkook seemed a little different to you- his voice, his demeanor…it was less familiar to you and whatever dialect he was using with you was more formal than endearing. It was like meeting him over again for the first time or maybe he just felt less lively than he usually is. You would even say it feels like he’s holding part of himself back.

“You seem different and not just the way you’re dressed but how you’re acting.” You say honestly.

He smiles and it puts you at ease a little, but you can clearly see there's something he's not telling you because it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m just tired, there was a lot to handle once I went back and I’m still adjusting.”

“Adjusting to what, did something happen to you?” After hearing that, you look at him disappointed. You clearly didn’t believe a word he said and that was simply because you could easily tell when he’s lying.

“Y/n, for your sake please let it go.” He pleads.

“No.” Your expression stays hard.

He sighs in slight frustration. “I’m trying to go about this carefully and you’re not making it easy. if I tell you why then-”

“Since when has it been too hard to tell me the truth?” You then ask, with hurt filling your voice. “ I get that there's some things I don’t need to know about what you do and your family, but it doesn’t feel like this is something with just them. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”

You’re right…He’s not fond of how obvious that is, so Jungkook says nothing in return and watches how determined you look staring up at him.

“You can tell me anything, you know.”

“I do know that, Angel.” He replies in a sincere manner, yet still it was lacking. “It’s just not that easy to explain, okay? I don't know how.”

How to tell you he almost devoured you and wants to fuck you at the same time? Yeah super easy.

The both of you stand there in an awkward silence and it’s like someone had sucked all of the words from both of you, well mainly Jungkook.

Clearly, there’s unknown tension in the air and neither of you weren’t sure of where to lead after that. A small part of you wondered if it's because he was in trouble, or if he’d gotten hurt. If that really is the truth behind it, it only made you worry more if somehow it would come back to mess with him again. However this still doesn’t explain why there's almost a 3 hour gap between your time and why Jungkook seems like a totally different version of himself.

Was this the real Jungkook? Is this what he’s like when he’s not with you?

When you look at him, your chest feels heavy and you can’t make those butterflies go away when he’s looking at you just as hard. It has you realizing just how much you truly are into him. His bunny face even in the newer version of himself, those big doe eyes and pouty lips. You used to love his longer hair, always playing with it and running your hands through it, part of you wishes you could do that now-even with his new undercut.

You don’t realize when your mind wanders, somehow envisioning Jungkook with his wild hair, your hands running over the natural inky skin of his body as your hands tug on the silky strands to your heart’s content. You wanted that- his kisses, his touch and so much more, that was evident with the trickles of arousal invading your abdomen from his presence. It's not the moment to think of this, but you couldn’t stop the images from popping in. You’re actually beginning to feel like it wasn’t of your own volition at this point.

“I just want to understand what's going on. You say everything is alright- but it doesn’t feel like that and honestly I don't think it is.” You shake your head, hugging yourself and shielding yourself away from him.

“Y/n...I know I haven't told you everything and maybe that's because I’m still trying to understand it myself. I think it would be too soon for you to handle. There's a better time than now, we can wait. ” He speaks out while listening to every thought you were having and his breath hitches, seeing the images that invaded your mind…He wanted that too and he thought he would have more time than this.

You’re not making this better. Stop thinking like that- fuck he wishes he couldn’t see it all.

You listen back in when he speaks and realize you were just staring at him again. Honestly you hoped that he couldn’t see what you were thinking because otherwise you’d rather have been swallowed up whole in the ground. You clear your throat and try to push down the nervousness that's slowly rising within you- a shiver racking down your spine when you take in the mint that's hitting your nose from him and the more you found yourself standing there with him, the more you were seriously finding it harder to not think that way. You honestly have no idea where any of it came from, but you were so on edge and you can’t control it.

Exhaling you, try to calm yourself.

“I’d rather know now, before you’re disappearing to who knows where again.” You say almost as low as a whisper and step forward to take his hand in yours. “And for your information, I don’t think anything will ever be as much of a reality changer as finding out about you and the fact that demon’s actually exist, it can’t be that much worse to handle.” You smile and Jungkook sees it, in your eyes, how much you feel when it comes to him. They're warm and inviting, completely sincere with every word you say because you truly wanted to know.

Damn- wait why is he noticing that?

Honestly It was like a punch to his gut, a stinging sensation burning on the sides of his head ringing throughout his nose and ears. He hisses, bringing his hands up to touch, but he couldn’t stop the small sense of relief forming after the realization.

You’re definitely into him.

“Y/n…” Something twinges from within his head, trying to break through and Jungkook is hissing from the sensitive heat that sears throughout. He grunts and his hands come up to grab beside his ears.

Your eyes widen in shock. “Kook, whats wrong?”

Grabbing his hands to pull them away, you’re looking him over intensely and you begin to notice the odd appearance on the side of his head, closer towards his ears. Without thinking much more you lean up closer to him and as usual you notice when he tenses, inhaling deeply, but that doesn’t stop you anyway. You lift up your hand to touch his face, looking in to inspect him more and Jungkook watches you like a hawk, because so much is crushing down on him at this moment.

His body is lighting up from your proximity, a hand landing gently on your waist for support. A causal gesture, but the touch created tingling shocks in its wake. You would think this is a new territory for you two, it’s quite the opposite. It was normal for you to be this intimate with him, it’s just never in any way romantically… At least not like this moment, where you are very much aware of his hand and Jungkook fights the instinct to grip you tighter, pulling you onto him.

He tilts his head curiously, feeling the soft caresses of your fingers on his face and he sees the moment you begin to notice the slight scarring on the sides of his head. Memories of what felt like burns that Hoseok created on him comes rushing in and suddenly he curses when he feels your hands run over it. Normally his kind are able to regenerate when needed, but because Jungkook was not only affected by someone stronger than him. What was done to him causes a much deeper wound that's harder to recover from.

It could even be irreversible.

“What is this? When did this happen to you?” You ask, running your thumb over one side.

He hesitates but finds it better to just grit his teeth, ignoring your proximity as much as he can. “It’ll go away...I got them with some help from my friend.” He answers honestly, but still sees the confusion on your face.

Jungkook feels as your finger follows it up into his hair, your fingers slowly seeping into the shallow parts, because you simply couldn’t help it. He instantly feels a shutter in his body, briefly closing his eyes the second you thought about pulling on it just a little. Suddenly before you could look more— he grips your hand tight and pulls it away gently before looking down at you in a more serious manner, burying the heavy lust burning within his chest.

You’re way too close right now and should definitely move. Actually, he should move too, before he messes this up…but why can’t he?

“Oh-” You blink when you realize how distracted you’d gotten before clearing your throat. “D-Did it help?”

“...Not enough.” He breathes lower, desperately, but still watches you carefully as a darker look comes into your hazy stare in return. “-If only you knew.

You don’t notice the darkness seeping into his by the second, but the air around you both was thicker all of a sudden. Are you…are you seriously turned on by him right now? Oh no.

“Then maybe you can enlighten me, Jungkook.” He hears your voice, soft and curious as you stare up at him within his running mind and very much unaware of everything he’s holding back from you.

Your scent is so overpowering at this point that even without his emotions, Jungkook definitely still felt how high his temperature could go and it wasn’t enough to stop him from being turned on by you. He only wished Hoseok had explained that part to him, or at least warned Jungkook how much he’d have the physical need burning within him. Better yet, maybe this is what Hoseok had planned from the start- with everything else everyone has done to manipulate his relationship, maybe Jungkook wouldn’t be surprised that Hoseok had only taken it upon himself to speed up the process.

Afterall, Jungkook had willingly let him into his head…Hoseok, what did you really do to him?

A monstrous desire chews at him to take you in any way possible, anywhere, and position—so many are going through his mind. The fact that he can still hear your thoughts definitely isn’t helping.

He shakes his head “Shit, I-...It’s too much right now.” The man says, fighting the erotic influence within his head.

“…Yes, because being best friends with a guy who appears and disappears out of my house everyday makes so much more sense.” You scoff up at him and he only rolls his eyes once more at your strange humor. “--I’m pretty sure I’ve watched you kill a guy once and while I’m still severely traumatized and seriously considering therapy, at least it was too quick for Yoongi and I to see.”

Jungkook, bites his bottom lip, knowing of his friend’s act. He couldn’t wait to see the look on your face once you met the real king…wait…would you meet the rest of his family? Was that something he really wanted? Again, why is Jungkook thinking this far ahead- you don’t even know what you truly mean to him and vice versa. As much as he knows Yoongi lied to him and would never want to step foot up here again, he’s pretty sure the grumpy man would eventually miss you after a while. There was no acting when it came to your friendship with him, that much Jungkook knows is true, he talked about you half of the time- even when he wasn’t reporting to him.

The matter still remains, was he truly ready to bring you around his dysfunctional family? And why did that spark something foreign in his chest? This is truly bittersweet.

If it weren’t for them, Jungkook wouldn’t have spent most of his time searching for you and going half crazy on your whereabouts. They literally drove him mad and for what? Because he wasn’t moving fast enough?

Fine, it’s fair to say that Jungkook was only being a coward when it came to you. He took his time, because the first time he showed you the real him- you pushed him away…Jungkook didn’t trust his own reaction if he told you how he felt and you didn’t feel the same. However, he never expected to be racing against an ancient curse and maybe…that's why he keeps putting off the truth from you. If you didn’t accept his feelings, he felt like it might truly kill him at the time… now would be the best while he couldn’t feel much right?

The problem is… Jungkook should really tell you about the bond first, because if this does go in his favor and the way his family clearly intended…Jungkook might actually end up completing it.

“—For your information he didn’t die until after I took him away so technically I didn’t kill him in front of you.” He corrects and if you weren’t so bent on figuring out his problem, you would have reminded him that hearing a human’s neck crack that violently is still disturbing enough to have anyone believing the complete opposite.

“Whatever, Just tell me already.” You wait patiently for him to begin, watching the hard look on his face as he tries to battle his inner turmoil of what to do next.

He really wanted to skip over this part, but Jungkook felt everything breaking down in an instant. Your thoughts, his hunger, the whispers…why did everything have to be so intense? Honestly he couldn’t take it anymore.

Fuck, is he actually giving in? wait.

“I-...hell.” Jungkook barely mumbles and you notice as his face goes completely blank, but he moves close enough to be a breath away. Jungkook then swallows, eyeing you strangely and though you had to admit while his gaze was drawing a forbidden emotion in your mind- you stare back at him expectantly, waiting for his next move.

What you’re not ready for however, is when Jungkook’s hands are grabbing both sides of your face abruptly and pulling you towards him. Your body colliding against his hard front. The sheer force of his strength has you calling out in surprise, your face quickly coming so close to his and he sends the deepest gaze into your eyes before something urges him to close the space.

He couldn’t help himself, he’s supposed to wait!

–His lips crash onto yours and catch your breath entirely from the shock of his sudden passion. You could feel your body reacting immediately—heat firing up in your stomach as he waits a second before moving them and you find yourself suddenly clutching his shirt for dear life. You were expecting words not a kiss- and definitely not for him to suddenly take this route with absolutely no cause whatsoever. You just couldn’t complain as a wave of lust shoots over your stiffened body and his minty scent becomes so much stronger to inhale.

For a long time, there are no words or thoughts, just the feel of his lips molding and his body pressing into you to be closer. You may feel his tight embrace, but you had no idea of the fierceness he was fighting back to do more.

It’s definitely too late.

You guessed he was waiting for you to reject him, but after feeling his tongue swipe over your bottom lip for entrance, you’re more than willing to open your mouth- sighing in content when he slips the muscle in and licks almost desperately against you to get a better taste. His hands leaving your cheeks, Jungkook’s arms then come to wrap securely around your waist like before and he backs you up into the counter, definitely putting more emphasis into how much closer he wants you to him.

It's not enough for him.

Not long after, you’re being lifted up, finding it hard to let yourself pull away and so does Jungkook. He grips one side of your legs, hoisting you effortlessly onto the counter and the flips in your belly are going crazy as his cold leather pants make contact with the inner parts of your thighs- putting himself comfortably in between.

He just wants a taste…but something keeps pushing him. His own efforts to fight back are crumbling so easily.

Your mind is still running on another brain wave, one part of you completely lost and the selfish part of you present enough to enjoy the way his mouth is moving against yours, fulfilling the thoughts you were having all this time.

His lips were just as soft as you imagined and it’s strange suddenly being able to share a moment like this with him. You exhale the breath in your chest, leaning your entire body into him and while melting easily as he shifts towards a sweeter end of your kiss. Your arms come up to wrap around his neck and your eyes shut when your arousal finally makes its way to your panties- no doubt beginning to cause a wet stain.

More, you want more.

Letting the mix of sweet almonds travel up his nose, Jungkook reluctantly pulls himself back, somehow managing to temporarily snap out of whatever urge had taken over him at that moment. Those same burns from earlier lingered on him the longer he felt himself standing there with you, he wished he waited until a better moment to kiss you. It was going to be impossible to control himself from you after this.

Honestly…Jungkook really doesn’t think he can now.

You didn’t notice it, but he’d been taken by surprise when his vision had gone black out of nowhere, hands vibrating with the need to tear your clothes off. He couldn’t tell whether it was from him or if it was because of the bond pushing, wondering if this was possibly just another hallucination of his. However everything feels fine and you are in-fact sitting helplessly in his arms on your own counter.

Jungkook just fucked himself once again…he’d only intended for a sweeter kiss as a test, not whatever that was just now.

He’s left with a powerful hunger and it was running too deep inside him to ignore. Whether it was building up all this time or he’d always had it, Jungkook was overtaken by it and he’s wondering if it could be from the same hunger he felt to devour you. Only now it was dangerous to know there wouldn’t be any remorse if he did right now. This kind of desire was completely consuming him, or at least the mental block was slowly fading off, maybe that would explain why his head was lighting up over and over- until it was sending him into a fuzzy haze.

Jungkook stares down at you, getting a continuous light buzz when you try to chase his lips in return and when he doesn’t reciprocate, your eyes are opening- face stuck in a sinful daze when he hasn’t even touched you yet.

He doesn’t know how he’s ever held himself from you before…now he’s tasted you and the filthy images racing in his head at the moment had him wanting more. The way he could bend you over your sink, fucking so deep inside you until you only knew him. He was only making himself worse by the minute- salivating as he came to wrap his hand around your neck and his eyes growing to pitch black as if you both were a part of his unusual dark fantasies.

You’re definitely not and there's one thing Jungkook was sure of at this moment…he wants to completely ruin you.

...

Tag List : @thisartemisnevermisses @vampyjk @taeilmom @outro-kook @bishuthot @mwitsmejk @irissilujm @vickyboo @awesomebabyyoda @hanzyyme @gerim-1995 @i-dont-give-a-fok @hwangheiress @hollyverday @seajae @oishee09 @jolinaprincess @yoongibabs

a/n: I’m super sorry if some people couldn’t be tagged but tumblr isn’t allowing it.

580 notes · View notes

sorya-lee · 10 months

Text

What will happen to us ?

Character : Hunter x reader

Genre : 18+ story with fluff, little bit of angst (order 66 blah blah)

Words : 4K

Warnings : self-doubting, fear of treason, fear to fail

Author note : English is not my primary language but the one I am the most comfy with (notice me for any mistakes!) And here for all my thirsty Hunter girlies.

The Clone War drags on. It seems like it will never end. People are getting tired and starts to take side against the Republic and I, as a Jedi, am lost in the fog.

Things seems to be clouded, a strange atmosphere starts to reign but the only thing that seems to cheer me up is the fact that I always have my squad by my side.

I am in the Temple since I am a child, I am about the same age as Obi-Wan who's a good friend of mine. We trained together and gone through multiples difficulties together. My fighting style is a bit unique combining different forms, even the 7th. And I also have tendencies to do what I am told even if my instinct told me otherwise.

We are both masters in the Jedi Council but it seems I am the only one who's questionning the Jedi's doing in this war currently... Maybe that's why I have not a squad of my own. I have been assigned to multiple battalion during the war never without being involved with one. Even if I clearly had most missions with Obi-Wan and Anakin.

Then one day, Kamino asked the Jedi Council for a special detachment, they wanted someone special to lead the new "special" squad that they just created. I wasn't in the mood at this time, we just lost a battle and a lot of clones died. I am very fond of them, I always intend to make them feel unique, because that's what they are in my eyes: special. If only I knew at this time what would happen next, I wouldn't believe it a second.

I was on my way to Kamino, landing in Tipoca City, then led by the Prime Minister when I came across a little girl following an other Kaminoan. She was blonde and got the features of the other clones, but I didn't ask questions. Our eyes just met in this hallway and nothing else happened. Then we entered a room which was giving on a training room. There was a squad fighting.

They were very skilled and coordinated. They were simply fascinating. The Kaminoans explained to me that they were special clones with enhanced capacities. There was Tech, the brain of the group who possess an high intellect and he's a master of technology. Then was Crosshair who got an exceptional eyesight and marksmanship skills, he acts as a sniper and a long-range combatant. Then there was Wrecker who was much larger and stronger than the average clone trooper. He loves blowing things up, and serves as the muscle and demolitions expert for this squad. And talking about squad, there was the leader, Hunter. Hunter have heightened senses which allow him to track any subject and a lot of other things. And I was the one who was going to be their General.

The Kaminoans explained everything to me and used their numbers to designate them. I don't do that kind of stuff. We learned to know each other, I learned to not being an obstacle in their way. After all, they were special clones, why would I come across their abilities and make them less efficient?

Missions after missions, everything seemed to be going well. We weren't travelling in a classic Battalion Venator but in a ship they nicknamed "The Marauder". They came up with multiple plans named after multiple situations encountered during missions and they took a liking to disobey my orders but... Everything was fine at the end of the missions so I never hold it against them...

Then one day. No. That day. Everything was going fine on Kaller. We came to help taking back the planet from the Separatists, victory was ours. I was standing beside my squad as Caleb, the young Padawan of master Depa Billaba, was presenting the squad to his master.

Tech was rambling about something as I was observing the perimeter then master Billaba starts talking to me.

"It's a very effective squad you got there my friend."

"It is indeed. It's the best squad." I smiled proudly.

"I hope you don't cause too much damages."

"Oh don't worry they only like to use their strenght on the battle droids." I joke back.

"Are you planning to go back on Coruscant?" She asked.

"Maybe." I answered. "After the war will end. What will happen once it will be over?"

"What do you mean?"

"We will have to rebuilt an entire galaxy, to unite the systems again... I don't know if the actual Chancelor will be able to do that... But I am more worried about them." I said looking at my squad who was talking. And I know Hunter was listenning, not only because of his amazing hearing but because he took a glance at me before catching my eyes and turning away. "What will happen to them?"

She sighs and put a hand on my shoulder. "Attachments are forbidden to us, you shouldn't worried to much about them."

I looked at her intensely not understanding.

"But you know, they will be fine." She finally smiled.

I nodded. How can I not be attached to them? They saved my life more than once and Hunter... He seemed to understand me more than anybody in this galaxy. As leaders, alone, in a war they were fighting for something they didn't understand anymore. My heart was beating fast as the boys were talking with Caleb about going for another battle.

"Hey kid, you're ready? We move fast." Said Hunter in a cocky tone which makes me blush and smile.

"Good that's the only way I know." Answered Caleb.

"I think he got you there Hunter." I provocatively said to my Sergeant.

He looked at me through his helmet and I know that his look was full of kind annoyance.

"Ohoh I like this kid!" Said Wrecker.

Hunter looked at me and launch me a soft and confident "General." right before I answered "Sergeant" with a nod as he saluted me. It was our little thing everytime we came across each other or leaving one another. A little exchange of titles which was making us laughing more than anything.

As me and Depa were watching them leave, I was the first one to feel something in the Force. A great disturbance, I felt the pain of my friends. What was going on? That's when we heard it from one of the clone trooper who was from Depa's battalion : "Execute Order 66."

Then the trooper point a gun at us and Depa push me with the Force against a tree. She activated her lightsaber.

"Depa!" I screamed.

"Run!" She answered to me. Then I look to my squad, which at this moment was too far away for my liking, and to Caleb, who was young and alone. What was going on!?

Caleb stopped and looked at his master who was fighting against all the shots of blasters. I immediatly get up and ignite my own saber. The (s/c) color of my saber reflecting against me in the snow as I look at Caleb and called for Hunter.

"Hunter! Help us!"

"Master!" Was screaming Caleb.

What was I doing? This are clones attacking us I can't ask for clones to help us. What am I thinking now about my squad betraying me? I can't think straight. It was all the things that were going through my head at this moment.

I tried to defend myself against all the troopers shooting at us, tried to save Depa but she pushed me away with the Force to save me instead. Again.

"You must run!" She was screaming at us and Caleb. That's when a blaster shot hit her. I ran to Caleb and took him by the shoulders as I was trying to take him with me. "Run Caleb!" was the last thing we heard, I turned around because the troopers were coming to us next and Caleb security was a priority so I did like Depa. I stand between the danger and Caleb as I instructed him to ran away.

He ran into my squad, Hunter and the others had no weapons in hand, which was a good sign. I sensed no hostility but Caleb thought like I did first : Clone troopers means danger. So he ran away from my squad and I was deflecting blasters shots as I ran into Caleb direction.

"Caleb!" I shout. We had to run. Hunter is a very good tracker he could... What was I thinking again?!

I saw Caleb climbing a tree, I was hiding behind another one as I saw Hunter and Crosshair looking around.

"Come on down kid. We're here to help!" Said Hunter. "No!" He added when Crosshair shot with his riffle.

I couldn't believe it. I was paralysed. By fear? But what was I fearing? To die? Or to see my own squad trying to kill me?

"Liar!" Screamed Caleb. I ran away trying to be as discreet as I could.

The track continue as I saw Caleb on another tree. My com was still open and I heard the voice of Tech: "It appears the Regs have been ordered to execute the Jedi."

Oh no. I sigh with fear as my eyes widened. I didn't understand anything and I was running away from my own friends... But this?

"What? Which Jedi?" Asked Hunter. "All of them. They're saying the Jedis have commited treason." Answered Tech.

"That would explain things." Said Crosshair. How could it?! I didn't do anything. That's what I wanted to scream to them.

"It doesn't begin to explain things!" Retort Hunter. Was he sincere or... Was this a trap... I can't even sense it in the Force as everything is clouded. Even my own judgement is clouded.

"I suggest you get back here." Suggest Tech.

"Can't the General is missing and we haven't found the kid yet."

"Wrong." Said Crosshair as he shot toward Caleb. He defends himself and knock Crosshair out. I was too paralysed. I didn't wanted to hurt my friends but I had to save Caleb! Hunter threw his gun away.

"Easy, I am on your side." He said trying to appears as harmless as he could be. Caleb ran and Hunter followed him. My legs started to move on their own as I followed them.

Caleb stopped as he reached waterfalls, Hunter behind.

"Stay back." Screamed Caleb.

He took off his helmet. "Just hear me out."

"No. You killed her." He instinctively step back, my eyes not leaving Hunter.

"The others did. I am just as confused as you." He raised his hands. I wanted to trust him but it was too dangerous for Caleb and Depa's sacrifice will not be in vain.

Hunter held out his hand to Caleb then I saw the other troopers coming and I ran toward Caleb passing Hunter and I jumped. Caleb followed me as Hunter shout "No."

Caleb ran as I stood there, looking at Hunter. A look of guilt, betrayal and sadness in my eyes as I was looking at him for what I thought was the last time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Clone Force 99? Isn't it a bit too much?" I asked my fellow Sergeant as we were returning back from our first mission. "I mean, I love 99, he was indeed special in his own way but really now?"

"What?" Said Hunter, smiling a bit. "We're not enough special to you?"

"You know, every and each clones are special to me." I smiled to him knowingly.

"I will prove to you that we're even more special. I am even more special." He said, his body close to me. His presence was insuffocating.

"Hum, by any means we're more special than Regs. We're genetically programmed to be more efficient, smarter and-"

"Yeah yeah thank you Tech." Said Hunter annoyed by his brother who interrupted us. And I laugh.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The present day. I wake up from another memory from a time that is no more. Groggy and sad from my dream, in my all too quiet ship.

After the Jedi Purge, we received a message asking us to go back to Coruscant, that was a trap but Caleb wanted to go anyway so I let him. I have not the force to fight anymore. I am just wondering now holding the message of Obi-Wan close to my heart but still haunted by it. "Both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen."

I didn't sold my saber, I find another way to buy a ship. Who thought that I was going to end as a smuggler... I was doing a job for another trandoshan -and believe me when I say never trust a trandoshan but times are hard for everybody- when something happened. Thieves board my ship.

I run in every part of the ship, trying to protect my cargo and when I had no other choice because everything was dark, I take out my lightsaber and ignite it. It was the only light in here but thanks to the Force I was able to tackle my opponent. He was groaning from pain and I didn't recognize the voice at first. That's when I threatened him with my saber, with the only light in the room, that I saw the unique helmet design.

"Hunter?!" I say surprised.

More groaning come from the man under me. And no, it's not what you're thinking, I just hit him pretty hard and his head, even with the helmet, hit the wall behind us. He take it off and look at me confused.

"General?!" We stood there still and silent then he activate the com and said: "Tech. Call back the others and put back the electricity on. We call off this job."

I still didn't back off. I still have my lightsaber near him. Did he came for me?

"Who send you?" I say menacingly.

"General..." He tries.

"I am not in the mood for patience."

"You never were." He joke. I let him a bit too easily getting up. I am between the happiness to meet him again, my confusion to seeing him here and the fear of the last time we met.

"What are you doing here? I will not repeat myself." I say trying to avoid the shambling in my voice.

He raises his hands, exactly like last time.

"General. If you'd let me explain to you... W-we don't want to hurt you. We're not here for you, it's a mistake."

"Y-yes, it is."

"Hunter, what is it?" Another voice ask.

"Stay back!" Says Hunter glancing towards his companions. I raise my saber a bit and see the helmets of Wrecker, Echo and Tech. As I look up, I don't see the little person coming between me and Hunter.

"Hello." she simply says.

"A child?" I glance toward Hunter.

He clears his throat. "Omega. What are you doing?"

"She doesn't seems to be menacing only frightens." She says calmly. I look at her and recognize the girl from Kamino but before I could ask :

"And there it is." Says Tech, the lights coming back on.

"Thanks for cleaning up the mess you made." I says sarcastically turning off my lightsaber. "Now leave."

"Wait!" Hunter catch me by my shoulder. "We should talk."

"About what?" I say, knowing perfectly what he wanted to talk about.

"About what happened back there. That day." He continue.

I glance at the other, not seeing Crosshair. "Where's Crosshair?" I ask worried. A bit of pain crosses Hunter's eyes.

"We should head back to Ord Mantell." Says Echo.

----

"So this is the place..." I say looking around the famous parlor.

"Yeah!" Says Wrecker. Of what I could see, they didn't change... Or maybe it's just a face...

"Technically we don't stay around here too much, this place is a dump and the owner is very unpleasant." Says Tech. Yeah, no, they didn't change.

"But it's a good place to hide." Says Hunter as he sit on a seat near the bar.

"And you trust this owner?" I ask.

"They don't have much choice." Says a new voice. Then I see a Trandoshan coming to us. Remember what I say about Trandoshan? Yeah me too.

"Hello." I say.

Hunter clears his throat again. "Come with me, we have to talk."

I raise an eyebrow to him and he makes me understand with a look that he don't want to talk about it in front of the Trandoshan nor the kid.

We go in town, just us. It's been a very very long time since Hunter and I have been alone like this. My behavior is kind of unfamiliar, I am nervous and I stay away from him. We walk in an awkward silence until we reach the Marauder.

Once inside, nobody sat and we just stay there.

"So..." I break the silence. "Do you want to start to explain what happened or do you want to ask something else?" I sigh.

"I am going to tell you everything. Sit down, it's going to take a while."

And with that he explained to me everything. The Order 66, Crosshair's departure, The Empire, Kamino, Omega and the inhibitor chips.

"Maker... How could we have been so blind?"

"We were at war..."

"No I mean. The Order... That's a lot of informations. And this girl... She is a clone that you saved from Kamino... What do they want from her...?"

"We don't know. But we have to protect her." He says looking away with determination. I smile.

"Always so kind with children." He looks at me in the eyes with kindness. "I am sorry for everything that happened Hunter."

He gets up and come closer to me. "You shouldn't be sorry. It's us who should be sorry. You lost everything, you were alone and we weren't there to help you."

"It's nothing."

"No it isn't." He says firmly. "I could never erase the memory of this look of fear you had that day. When you were looking to me." He says shivering. I've never seen Hunter like this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Still playing with this blade ?" I said.

He stopped. "I never told you to stop." I laugh.

He scoff. "What can I do for you General." He says in a low tone. The mission has been pretty difficult and we nearly lost Wrecker on this one. As a leader, Hunter was pretty worried but never told his fears out loud, as we went back in the ship, the silence was loud. I kneel before him, trying to meet his eyes and squeezing his kneel with my left hand. Not it wasn't an appropriate behavior for a General toward his Sergeant. But he needed me.

"Talk to me." I simply said.

"I am scared." I look at him, encouraging him to go on as he let go a long sigh. "I am scared to fail them."

"Hunter." I answered putting an hand on his chin to force him to look at me. Red creeping my cheeks as our eyes meet. "Don't put everything on your shoulder, I am here to help you." I smile softly to him.

His eyes got lost in mine, it seems like we're floating in the moment. Hunter was scruting me intensely as if I was the only thing valid in his space.

Then we hear someone clearing his throat, not in awkwardness but to make us aware of his presence. It was Crosshair. "Sorry to interrupt but we're arriving." I get up quickly on my feet and pass by Crosshair, red of embarassment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I wasn't scared of you that day. I was confused. I mean... I am not going to lie to you I was scared at the start of everything but because... I didn't want to find that my most trusted men were betraying me and tried to kill me... I was scared to lose you that day... And I don't know what would have been worse... Loosing you, betraying me. Or loosing you... Because I would be forced to harm you..."

Silence. A silence was what follow my declaration. I took a weight off my shoulders. This silence wasn't awkward, it was like all the voices that were haunting me since that day just shut up all suddenly.

"Say something..." I ask Hunter, no, pleading him.

"General." He come closer to me and take my hand, his other come to my cheek. My head back off a bit in surprise at the affection, my cheeks redden at our sudden proximity.

He sighs a bit then smile softly. His smile, so endearing, so contagious that I smile myself.

"They could try to put any chips in my head, they could try to control my mind by anyway, torture me, break me or treat me like a toy, like cannon fodder, like just another clone in this galaxy... I would never ever harm you. I couldn't. I simply couldn't, because what I feel for you is far from what they believe they could do to change me."

His forehead is touching mine now, my eyes are in his, lost in his own words. My smile widden.

"What do you mean?" I say soflty, scared to break this moment. He puts both of his hands on my cheeks, raising my head slightly.

"I love you General. I've always loved you (Y/N). And being far away from you since that day was worst than fighting any battle. It's like I was half of me since that day."

I stay silent, looking at him with wide eyes, not knowing how to respond to that confession.

"Hunter." I smile. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you saying that." I say soflty, tears in my eyes.

He smiles back. "Does it mean..." He trails of, looking away and blushing. "That you like me too?"

I nod. "I am the happiest person alive when you're by my side. I am whole when you're with me." I grab his hands and caress them with my thumbs.

"With you by my side... Maybe things will be easier then... Maybe it will be like before again, when you and I were instoppable and always finding a way to everything."

"Hunter. You don't need me for that, you're still too harsh on yourself., you don't see how capable you are and you're blinded by the fear of failing them." I say growing closer to him who's watching me with wide eyes. "You're a good leader Hunter." I say closing the gap between our lips. Our kiss end his possibility to answer back to my affirmation. Our lips melt in a tender kiss and transform in a more feverish one when he puts his hands on my hips, getting me impossibly closer to his own body. We put every untold feelings and regrets into that kiss. One of his hand come on my neck then on my cheek, caressing it. My own hands in his wild hair, taking a full fist of it. Then, when we needed air, we pulled away but not getting away from our position, still entangled in a tight hug.

"It was my first kiss." Says Hunter.

"Mine too." I blush. "It's not a common practice among the Jedi." I joke and he laugh.

"I hope it will be the first of a long list." He says soflty, his raspy voice sending a shiver to my body.

"You can count on it. Why not getting on it right now?"

"Whatever the General like." He says kissing me again, this time more soflty, more tender, as an endorsement of reality.

After, he looks at me with an unknowing adoration in the eye and a spark of hope in the eyes, his hands cupping my face as I smile.

"What will happen to us?" I ask softly.

"I don't know. But with you. I am ready to take on the world."

The End.

40 notes · View notes

elliepassmore · 9 months

Text

Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedie of Faeries review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: cozy fantasy, epistolary narrative, fairies, early 1900s, autistic MCs I've been meaning to get around to this one for a while and finally did. I'm really liking the cozy fantasy genre (and cozy sci-fi) and this is no exception. There was a plot but it was slow paced and fit well into Emily's daily life and academics. There were high stakes at the end, but overall this is a relatively low stakes story. I liked how dryadology was depicted as a legitimate academic discipline with methods, conferences, and its own scandals. As someone who is involved in academics and will likely pursue a career in research/academia, it felt very realistic. A lot of the methods Emily and Wendell use are legitimate methods we use in anthropology and linguistics and I really enjoyed seeing them put to use in a fantasy field of research. The scandals of extrapolating too much info or faking research are also very reminisce of early-20th century academic scandals that we see in real-life disciplines. I very much appreciated Fawcett's attention to detail here and I really think it helped create a realistic, engrossing world. The faeries themselves were interesting too. There are a bunch of different kinds and subtypes of those kinds that vary across regions. We get to meet a few of these during the course of the book, and it was interesting to see their mannerisms and looks. I also like that our narrator is an expert in the field and so we get additional information about the faeries we meet as well as similar faeries from other locations. I like this style of diary narration too. It reminds me a bit of how the Beka Cooper series is written. Both are supposed to be diaries/journals, but other than mentioning writing or the date, the book generally reads as traditional narration rather than epistolary (which has its place in my heart too). In this particular case, I definitely think it added to the story since we are made to understand that Emily is trying to be objective, but there are times when she recognizes that she's not and, in turn, we are able to recognize moments when she deviates from a strictly academic viewpoint into the more personal. Speaking of Emily, I enjoyed her narration and reading about her (mis)adventures. Emily reads as autistic to me (someone who is also autistic) and I liked that that was just presented as who she was. Wendell does poke fun at her a little for some of her social missteps, but there's no malice behind it and no one pressures Emily to mask or change who she is. She can come across as blunt and isn't always able to read social cues, but she clearly has a big heart and once you're in, you're in. She's also pretty accepting of things, which is probably one of the reasons she does so well as a draydologist, and is able to roll with the punches fairly well. I also liked Emily's dog, Shadow, and thought he had some funny moments in the story. Wendell is an interesting character, and he and Emily make an even more interesting friendship. He's very outgoing and personable, able to charm just about anyone, but he's also generally pretty aloof. As extroverted as he is, he doesn't seem to connect with people too deeply, but when he does, like with Emily, he's pretty ride or die about it. I enjoyed Wendell's character and thought he brought a lot of humor to the pages with his little quirks. The side characters were also all pretty enjoyable. They all felt distinct, both human and faerie, and I enjoyed getting to know them individually. It was also interesting to see how Emily's perceptions and relationships with them change as she settles more into life in the village. One note I have is that some of the side characters have very similar names and it makes it somewhat difficult to tell them apart in a group setting. Overall I really enjoyed this book and am looking forward to seeing what Emily, Wendell, and Shadow get up to next!

10 notes · View notes

lokigodofaces · 3 years

Text

Finally found out what was weird about the Shang-chi trailer! The only live action kung fu movies I’ve seen before were super low budget or are older so they didn’t have too great of special effects. So I thought it was weird when I saw Simu Liu do all of that, when really Marvel just has the money to make this not look like trash. It just took me a few hours to realize it.

#shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings (2021)#shang-chi #simu liu #ive seen things like older mortal kombats #& dont get me wrong pretty decent movies from what i remember (its been years) and im sure the special effects were good at the time #they just arent marvel standard #so it threw me off seeing kung fu action look as amazing as it did #but gosh shang-chi looks great!#also if anyone has suggestions for kung fu movies ill see if i can watch them #the trailer got me in the mood for it but the only one i can remember the name of was mortal kombat #and heroes? is that the one at the calligraphy place?#chinese made?#saw part of it in my chinese class #just not rated r ones thank you very much #also sorry if kung fu is the incorrect term i would not know #since clearly i am not an expert on this genre

14 notes · View notes

jaehyunfirstlove · 3 years

Text

Nonstop - Ch. 1

After making a name for himself as only the second rookie in the history of the sport to win the championship, Jeong Jaehyun has an insatiable thirst for victory. Written off by his detractors as a stroke of luck, he’s determined to prove them wrong, embarking on a reckless quest to win another championship, regardless of the lives he may ruin, including his own. You haven’t been a part of his life for a long time, but you’ve been the only one who could reason with him. Can you save him from himself, or is it too late?

Pairing: racer!jaehyun x ex-girlfriend!reader

Genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, exes to lovers, motoGP au, smut (18+ only)

Warnings: implied emotional manipulation, bad father-son relationship (i’m sorry mr. jeong), descriptions of racing accidents, racing injuries, nipple play, fingering, oral sex (m. and f. receiving), unprotected sex, dirty talk, swearing

Chapter warnings: none

Total word count: 13.9k

Chapter word count: 1k

Taglist: @jaehyunnie77 @mrg-jjh @keeach (send me a message if you want to be tagged in future fics)

A/N: i want to apologize first and foremost for how long this got, and how it may read like a k-drama at certain times. also my knowledge is mostly in F1, so if i mix up terms please forgive me. this is dedicated to all the motoGP fans out there, and everyone who responded to my informal poll, hope you all like it!

Disclaimer: i am not a medical professional or a motoGP expert, so please excuse any inconsistencies.

“That was a dangerous move and you know it!” Taeyong was furious, rounding on Jaehyun as he got off his bike, the mechanics descending upon it.

“Relax, it worked, didn’t it?” Jaehyun just smirked. He removed his helmet and shook his hair out, wanting to make sure he looked good for the victory podium.

“You can’t keep going on like this, Jaehyun,” Taeyong wouldn’t back down, grabbing Jaehyun by the shoulders to force him to look at him. “At the rate you’re going you’ll hurt yourself, and be a danger to the other riders.”

Jaehyun just removed Taeyong’s hands from his shoulders, before leveling him with a cold look. “I didn’t hire you to care about that stuff. Just do your job and I’ll do mine, which is winning.”

The mechanics surrounded him at that point, whooping and cheering, steering him towards the podium where he would celebrate his fourth straight victory that season. Taeyong stayed behind, shaking his head, filled with worry at the downward spiral his friend was going on.

Jaehyun always had a passion for winning, a competitive streak that existed in him long before he took up racing, but the intensity had ramped up this season. After he won his first championship as a rookie last season, many chalked it up to luck, and the fact that his father owned the team and therefore he got all the advantages. He’d been determined to prove everyone wrong, becoming more aggressive in his racing style, and taking risks he’d never taken before.

Taeyong had agreed to be Jaehyun’s manager when he’d asked him, since they had been lifelong friends and Taeyong knew him best. And now, Taeyong was seeing a change in his friend that was really starting to concern him.

---

You were just getting ready for bed when your phone rang, which was odd since no one you knew would normally call at that time of night. When you looked at your phone it was an international number that you didn’t recognize, and you almost ignored it, except you were really curious as to who it could be. Cautiously, you pressed answer, and heard a voice you hadn’t heard in a very long time.

“Y/N?”

“Oh my god, Taeyong!” you were filled with so many emotions at the sound of his voice, good and bad, mostly because he brought to mind your ex-boyfriend, Jaehyun.

“I’m so glad you’re awake, sorry to call so late,” he began, and his voice sounded hesitant, weary.

“It’s okay. What’s going on?” you asked, noting the anxiousness in his tone.

“I hate to bring this on you, I know you haven’t been a part of his life for a while,” he paused, and you knew exactly where this was headed.

“Is it about Jaehyun?” you asked, your voice almost a whisper.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say, but he didn’t need to say more.

You and Jaehyun had been high school sweethearts, inseparable, until he had the opportunity to go abroad and train as a motogp racer. He’d agonized over the decision, partly because he didn’t want to leave you, but you reassured him that you’d be busy with college anyway, and that you could video call all the time and visit on breaks. You were confident that everything would work out, and in the beginning it did, but as time wore on, as college got more difficult and racing more intense, the stress of it all took its toll, and you were fighting more than anything else. You ended up being the one to break it off, and he hadn’t wanted to, you’ll never forget his face as he pleaded with you to talk it out with him, but even with your heart breaking you felt there wasn’t anything more to talk about. You hadn’t heard from him since.

Despite the pain of your breakup, you couldn’t help but follow his career, especially as his star rose. You had always been proud of him and his accomplishments, because you knew how hard he worked for them. You’d felt an insane burst of pride when he’d won his first championship as a rookie, but that turned to concern when you’d read in news stories about his change in racing style, the recklessness evident in it definitely worrisome for all involved.

“Y/N,” Taeyong continued, his voice soft, “I need you to know that you’re my last resort, I’ve tried everything to get through to him, but he just won’t listen to me. At the rate he’s going, well, I don’t need to tell you what could happen.”

You had always appreciated Taeyong’s honesty, clearly he was worried about his oldest friend. One of the things that you and Jaehyun had fought about was the dangers inherent in moto racing, an accident almost always fatal. He’d reassured you that safety was always his priority, but somewhere along the line that had been forgotten.

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Taeyong,” your heart broke at the thought of Jaehyun risking his life on the track, but you didn’t know what influence you still had over him. “I doubt he’d listen to me now.”

Taeyong chuckled softly. “Y/N, we both know that you were the only person who could ever reason with him. He’d never listen to me, never listen to his parents, but you, well, you could argue that the world was flat and he’d end up agreeing with you.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Taeyong’s words, but you were still unconvinced. “Still, I’m not sure…”

“Listen, Y/N, I’m desperate. This is a life and death situation now. If he can’t be talked down I’m pulling him off the team, and you know he’ll be devastated if he doesn’t get to race. It’s his life.” Taeyong spoke firmly, but you could hear the desperation in his voice. “All I ask is that you try, and if it doesn’t work, then he’s off the team.”

You thought about the years he’d worked hard to get to where he was, the sacrifices he’d made. You thought about how excited he got whenever he talked about it, how his voice would get higher and his actions more animated, his eyes sparkling. You could fight for him this one last time, it was the least you could do after breaking his heart.

“Okay, I’m in.”

#jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut #nct imagines #nct smut

273 notes · View notes

annetteblog · 3 years

Text

I spent January 1 watching YoI and it’s the best way to start a new year, I guess

So, yes, after all these years I finally watched Yuri on Ice. The biggest thanks to all people, who recommended me to do it, because it was amazing :)

Now, beware of my incoherent rambling about the characters, the plot, figure skating, Victuri (Victuuri?), LGBTQ+ representation, and Russia, just because I need this 🙃

First of all, I had never thought that one day I would end up having a crush on a Russian man, but here I am, having crush on a Russian 2D man. Victor Nikiforov, how dare you steal my heart like this! He’s some kind of a damn Russian Apollo... So I perfectly understand Yuri’s gay panic in the first couple of episodes 🤣 dude, I feel you.....

What I specifically liked about the characters, it’s their growth. They were not frozen, but gradually developed to become more mature towards the end. Victor becoming less selfish, more compassionate and empathic; Yuri becoming mentally stronger and more confident. And Yurio... he’s such a lovely pirozhochek!!! :D Really, this “I-am-strong-and-independent-grown-up” kid with his love to pirozhki is just 🥰 But yes, he also mentally grew.

For me as a Russian, it was a pleasure to see normal Russian characters in a foreign show. They were talented and nice, wow, that really happened!!! Honestly, I’m so sick of this “bad-drinking-vodka-prison-tatoos-nucklear-weapon-terrible-accent” narrative (I watched Tenet the other day, and I was literally sitting like this 😐 the entire film; they forgot to add a bear for the full picture). And normal Cyrillic! Not perfect or 100% correct, but at least it was readable and understandable, not just a classic American movie with a Russian text, which looks like this - зжэщгардгрвъ шщыралойцы фвзпролдрппппп (yes, I just hit my keyboard). The same applies to the athletes from other countries. Kazakhstan!! Otabek!!!!

I also needed to pause one of the episodes just to scream at this

Aeroflot (rus - Аэрофлот) is a Russian airline. And yeah, it sucks 😄

But seriously, you can clearly see that they did their research, cared for details and payed attention to things, and I, as a foreign viewer, really appreciated this. I really hope, that one beautiful day shows’ producers start to make characters from different cultures, who are just... you know... ordinary normal people? and not just a bunch of stereotypes?? or necessarily devilish evil just because they are from another country???

And now, the ship!

I’m not really familiar with a lot of anime, and definitely not familiar with genres like yaoi, although I’ve heard about its stereotypes and certain common patterns. Here, however, it was a pleasure to see a same-sex relationship, which was not just a cool fetish for some young straight girls (nothing against young straight girls), but like... an actual relationship? Plus the creators successfully embedded it into the main plot, without shifting the central focus of the show and abandoning the actual sport competitions.

I really enjoyed the delicate approach to the relationship’s development. Considering the characters’ own path of progress, the relationship they formed were equal and mature. Also their care and clear tenderness towards each other were speaking louder than words.

Sidenote. I had never realized how much I needed a Russian non-straight character in my life until, well, yesterday. Thankfully, I had the Internet since I was around 11, so I spent my teenage years watching a lot of American/ West-European tv-series. LGBTQ+ representation was not something out of the ordinary, it was not a taboo; and it mattered to me, a young girl, who tried to figure out what the F was going on with my own self. But I had never seen a Russian LGBTQ+ fictional character on the screen. Ever. Honestly, I had never payed attention to this fact. Normally I don’t really care about a person’s nationality, so I couldn’t even think that having some queer character, who is Russian, would be somehow important to me. As it turned out yesterday, it was actually important. And, I guess, one of the deeply personal reasons why I liked YoI, was the fact of seeing someone from my own country and my own culture, who was non-straight and being just fine and perfect the way he was. Even though I’m not a struggling young girl anymore.

Okay, back to the tale, before I become a teary mess again.

Their relationship was heartwarming to watch. Although there were clearly some sexual undertones, it didn’t end up being just some sexy gay boys. It was definitely about the growth of love, firstly fragile but becoming stronger and more affectionate with time. Their bond became psychologically equal; and they do complement each other, being codependent in the best sense. And it was beautiful.

However, from what I quickly gathered while reading a few comments, some people still claimed that there was not enough clarity in terms of their relationship?? I have to disagree with this completely. Excuse me, but you don’t exchange matching golden rings in a church with your friend to wear it on your ring finger. You definitely don’t passionately kiss it seconds before an important performance. And you don’t cry your eyes out if your friend suggests you to end your partnership. If you do, I have some news for you, dear 🤡

I honestly can’t figure out what kind of a bigger clarity some people want. If the same plot was shown between a man and a woman, you would get the message from the episode 1. Or at least from that episode, where they were naked making out i mean...... practicing some moves?? wtf it was, honestly, I was too busy laughing 😆 However, seriously, what do you need? Is this really necessary to show an R-rated sex scene for some people just to get it? Lame.

Sure, YoI was not perfect. Some bits with figure skating were off, and there was some obvious magic going on in terms of homophobia, more specifically - its absence. I mean, I’m not an expert in LGBTQ+ rights in Japan (although I know it’s not that great), but if a Russian figure skater came out or just had some kind of (publicly known) unidentified close relationship with a same-sex partner, their successful career would be over. And not just Russian, I guess, any figure skater would face similar problems. It’s a very conservative sport.

But, actually, I was grateful that they showed it the way they did. Fairytale-ish. A show doesn’t have to be realistic to be great. It’s enough if it warms our hearts and gives hope to the brighter future. The real world may be cruel and unjust, but we all need kind and reassuring stories to keep us going. And such story about caring relationship and love is the great example of this.

Lovely, funny, refreshing, and heartwarming.

Or, just quoting Victor

vkusno!!! (c)

😄

I will definitely rewatch it at some points in my life.

and now excuse me, I need to fall into the rabbit hole of fanfiction, haha stupid me

P.S.

This moment was

hot

#yuri on ice #figure skating #victor nikiforov #yuri katsuki #yuri plisetsky #anime #victuri #victuuri #yoi #lgbtq #lgbtq representation #lgbtq relationships #not km related #long post

533 notes · View notes

taecalikook · 4 years

Text

Love, Rekindled.

summary : even if you’d rather cut your tongue short than to admit it, love was easy when it was with Jungkook—no matter how short it had been. yet when the guy fortuitously joined your company four months ago, he has been an expert in pulling your strings that you’ve been fighting every will to punch in his annoyingly ravishing face. but can you further deny the old feelings to rekindle when a certain company event and a group of gullible friends are involved?

{enemies2lovers! au, ex!au, professional!au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim taehyung)

genre : major fluff, slight angst, mutual pining and smut!

word count : 32.780 (one-shot)

warning ! fingering, sex with feelings, dirty talk, big dick, jealousy, dom(?), raw (use protection yall) its my first smut story soooooooo bear with me lol enjoy!

=====================================

Working directly after you graduate in one of the biggest fast moving consumer goods companies in the country might be the dream. While to an extent it might be true, you realize that you have so many things to sacrifice—including your sanity and personal life.

So one dawn you spent all night working on the procurement report you have to submit to the finance team in just five hours, you are so distressed you bawl your eyes out so hard you feel like it is about to fall off. You were too loud to the point that Namjoon, your roommate, was awakened and had to console and accompany you, finishing the report for another hour until you could finally sleep.

And the next morning when you wake up after only three hours of sleep, you have to drive early in the morning to submit the signed reports to the finance team. You are not ecstatic to say the least. Not only that you had the worst night and don’t have the time to conceal your excessive eye bags, you have to submit the physical report to the most notorious, annoying person to ever exist—Jeon Jungkook.

You don’t even understand why destiny had to be that cruel to pair you with Jungkook for a tad bit too many of your tasks. He is annoying, self-centered, impolite, and probably the worst person that you have ever worked with. And it is quickly proven when you are going to submit the report and stride to his desk, finding he is still calmly typing on the laptop. Irritated by how divine he looks at eight in the morning compared with your hideous self, you slam the report right beside his laptop.

“Here it is. And once again thank you for making me change every fucking numbers in that report right the night before.” You hisses, folding your arms in front of your chest. He looks up to you with a grin, his fingers swiftly opening the report.

“I’m sorry, dear but if you wanna complain, you can directly do it to your boss.” He chuckles lightheartedly, and you roll your eyes in disgust. How can he still be this composed is beyond you. “And besides, it’s your team who mistakenly input the data. How is it my fault?”

“I can actually give you an essay for that as an answer, but I don’t want to violate the rules since we are now in working hours.” You harshly respond, tapping your feet impatiently while his eyes are skimming the report.

Another five minutes until Jungkook closes the report with a loud tap and smirk in mirth at your obvious disconcert. “So is that an invitation for a meet-up outside working hours?”

You hiss after hearing such an expected sentence coming out from the jerk. He really is that self-centered, and it shouldn’t have baffled you by now. “I hope you are very well aware that you are annoying and I don’t like you.”

“I am aware of that, beautiful. You have explicitly reminded me in every email chain—better tell me something I don’t know.”

“Nah, I don’t have anything good to say for you.” You scoff and stomp your heels around to leave him behind. The fury is still booming inside your head, so you repetitively let go of your breath, trying to detox your mind of his annoying, but forsakenly handsome face of that jerk out of your mind.

After arriving at your desk, you throw your belongings on the desk and sit on your seat after sighing loudly. It immediately attracts the attention of one of the team peers who sits beside you, Hoseok.

“Wow. Why the long face, Y/N? It’s Friday, lighten up a little.”

“I literally cannot ‘lighten up’ if I keep on working with Jeon Jungkook. Is there any way I can just… not see him or contact him even just for a day? Or even better, forever?!” You hiss while raucously opening your laptop. Hoseok chuckles in amusement.

“Y/N, I don’t know why you are so against the guy. Yes, I know he might be a little cocky—”

“A little?!” You immediately cut Hoseok, but he has been in this conversation too many times before to know that he needs to continue before you begin your patriotic speech of why Jungkook doesn’t deserve anything good in his life.

“—but he is not that bad. People, especially girls like the guy. He is great looking, charming and good with words. One of the best in his team too, even with such short time joining the company I even heard he might be promoted soon. I think you should give him a chance.” Hoseok shrugs.

You huff and stare at Hoseok in heavy betrayal painted in your face. “That’s not going to happen, Hoseok. Yes, I know people might be blind and think so highly of that cocky ass jerk, but you are my friend and should be educated about not seeing one person only by the assumption of other people. Jungkook is not as good as everyone thinks he is.”

“But why? I know you, Y/N. And I know this is not hatred only based on work—there is something else that happened.” Hoseok calmly speaks his mind, but it successfully throws you off guard. Not that you want to admit it, you are well aware that the dislike you got for the guy is not majorly caused by professional work. But you’d rather bite your hand off rather than voluntarily telling it to someone else.

Seeing how silent you have become, Hoseok immediately turns aghast. “Just a shot in the dark... Did you sleep with this guy before?”

The thought immediately puts you to shame and your face turns vermillion. God, how can he say that?! “What are you saying?!” You squeal in alarm, and you do realize you are too shocked to even speak clearly right now. Damn Hoseok and his outstanding deduction skill! “You are talking nonsense now, Hobi. Why-why would—fuck this I’m going to the restroom.”

You can hear Hoseok's distinctive laughter behind you when you stride towards the restroom, and the desire to knock your head to the wall is too much. You are literally fucked.

After working hours, you are finally able to escape the office and ask Namjoon to accompany you and eat in your favorite steak restaurant near both your offices. Namjoon looks at you munching on your steak like a starved woman while silently sipping his glass of red wine.

“Well, I never understood how people say they can get full only by seeing someone else eat, but I kinda get it now.”

You glare at him and hiss, stabbing the steak with your fork in pique. “Stop bothering me! I hate it. I hate everything! Work sucks, life sucks, everything sucks. And I literally don’t have any friends to hangout on friday night beside my own roommate whom I see nearly 24/7. I really had no life beside work it’s embarrassing—”

Namjoon winces, and you immediately halt every movement and stare at him in shock. You know that gaze. It literally screams apology and regret.

“About that…”

You gasp and smash your utensils in the table that few other people are glancing weirdly your way, but you cannot care enough about those prodding eyes. “No! You can’t do this to me, Namjoon! You are ditching me tonight, aren’t you?!”

He grimaces. “I’m sorry, Y/N but I promised the guys for drinking tonight. It’s already planned since god knows when, I can’t bail on them.” You sigh, massaging your aching temple. Noticing how upset you’ve been—probably due to the possibility of ending the stressful weekend only in your pajamas watching bad tv shows, Namjoon quickly continues. “But you can come if you want! We would love to have you there.”

You suddenly put your hand together, moving closer to Namjoon in vivid interest. There’s a possibility to drink your pain away tonight and you are all down for it. “I would love to! I am so stressed lately, I desperately need an outlet. I am going crazy for this work and another second just sitting around I will go mad. And I would love to hangout with the guys! It’s Seokjin, Hoseok, and the others right?!”

“Yeah… about that.” Namjoon’s hesitance is too obvious that you immediately squint your eyes in suspicion. “Yes, I’m with those guys. But there is one additional person joining us and… you won’t like it.”

You giggle at his concern, easily shrugging it away. “Who? I don’t think so, Namjoon. Don’t underestimate me, I may not be as friendly or outgoing as you are, but I can manage to meet new people well and—”

“It’s Jeon Jungkook.”

You immediately close your eyes and heave a breath, your fingers are gripping hard on the edge of the table until Namjoon literally had to move his chair a step back out of fright. It is not the first time he had to face your immeasurable wreath, and it is literally not a good sight he’d do anything to avoid it to happen ever again.

“Why?! In what circumstances would you ever hang out with that bastard?!”

“It just happened! Jimin is friends with the guy, both are from the same department as well. He is new and nice—to us, at least.” He quickly adds before you go into a screaming match yet again. “It’s harmless! And he needs friends too, Y/N. He is new in the city, and doesn't have many friends. I still have no idea how you can even hate the guy when he literally just entered his four months in town.”

You look up to Namjoon aloofly. Jungkook has no friends? What happened to the jerk you knew a few years back? He seemed to be doing well with his bunch of jerks he called as friends. “Pssh—I don’t really care about that. Just do whatever you want!” You childishly pout and continue in stabbing your steak. You know that with Namjoon you can always count on him being a brother that would gladly endure your annoying traits and childishness.

“Hey, I am sorry. Don’t be mad, okay? What if we get ice cream tomorrow, hmm?” He kindly persuades and then you are unable to prolong your fake burst. There is no way you can stay mad at him, as he is literally a heaven-sent angel to you. You don’t even know how you can stay sane if it weren’t for your kind roommate.

“M‘kay. But you’re paying and I am taking home a litre of shooting star ice cream.”

Namjoon sighs and you giggle at his easy forfeit. “You are neither easy on the eyes nor to my wallet. I hope you understand how generous I am to still want to participate in this friendship.”

“By the way, have you seen VoE email this afternoon?” Namjoon nonchalantly asks, smiling to the waitress that places his own steak. You meekly shake your head, cause ain’t nobody got time to read another email from the Voice of Employee team. You already arranged your inbox neatly and automated those emails to be placed inside the folder which named ‘emails i probably will never read ever in this lifetime’. “I shouldn’t have asked, of course you haven’t.” He continues, unimpressed and you grin devilishly at that.

“So, they announced the new employee engagement event. This year’s event is kind of a blind pen pal thingy that is arranged by Jimin.” Namjoon explains while cutting his steak in boxes. “Albeit lame, I thought it was kind of interesting. You should join, you know?”

“Pen pal?” You scrunch your eyebrow. The idea is not appalling even a little to you. “Really? What year does he think it is?”

“It could be fun! You know it must be nice meeting new people across the company. Funny that they also recommend the participant to hide their identities and stay anonymous while chatting at least for the first few weeks.”

“What? That’s so lame! Why do they have these kinds of things?!” You giggle and shake your head in.

“Actually, because people like you, Y/N. You said yourself that you had no friends and life outside work. It could be great to meet someone new and talk freely, even in the company. It’s also good that it’s anonymous in the first weeks so people won't be judgy and busy talking about work stuff and making friends instead.” Namjoon replies back and you pretend hurt at the truth shoved at your face.

“Ouch! That hurts.” You jokingly wince but nonetheless shrug. “I think it kinda made sense, but I think I’ll pass.”

“Oh, come on! It can't be that bad.” Namjoon groans at your stubbornness. “You know you have to pick an employee engagement event. If you choose to go with your boss for the fishing competition event when you know he’ll talk about work all the time, I’ll gladly say go for it. And you literally can’t even boil water, there’s no way you’ll be joining the ‘masterchef’ event. Or that singing competition! Are you kidding me? No way.”

You sigh at the reminder since Namjoon is indeed correct. There’s no way you’d be joining the other engagement events since you are talentless in nearly any other area, and whilst pretending you can cook might be interesting, the possibility of burning the whole kitchen is not since you are not risking the lives of others because of your carelessness. And singing is the one you already gave up on. You are not embarrassing yourself and be the joke of the year in front of your boss and colleagues.

“Gosh..I hate it when you are correct. I’ll think about it later, okay?” You frustratedly hiss, ruffling your hair in distress. “Let’s talk about something else, please.”

After another half an hour chatting while you finish your food, you and Namjoon quickly pay with another dramatic debate of which one of you will pay. After humorlessly swearing that you will twist his figurine if he still insists on paying, you easily win the debate and pay instead.

“So, are you going straight to the bar?” You inquire after walking out of the restaurant. Namjoon hums and swiftly picks the phone from his pocket, checking his friend’s current whereabouts.

“Nope, I think they should be here anytime soon, but—”

“Namjoon! Y/N!”

Both of your eyes quickly divert to three guys coming your way. It’s Jimin’s jovial voice calling your name, Hoseok beside him and… Jungkook. The huff instinctively comes out of your mouth after noticing the guy wearing a blue navy buttoned up shirt who irritatingly still looks too good for him. Noticing that Jungkook’s intense gaze is never diverted from you, you quickly shift your face somewhere else.

“You guys finished the dinner?” Jimin asks and you nod with a smile. “Ah, long time talking to you again, Y/N! I am sad we don’t get to work together again.”

You giggle, definitely sensing the irony in his sentence. The fact that he is assigned to another project in Finance was the biggest turning hill in your career, as it was also the point you were introduced to Jeon Jungkook, as the new hire who replaced him and whom you would be working closely with. You don’t even want to remember how stricken and betrayed you felt at that time.

“Yup, true.” You quickly smile and clearly avoid both Jungkook whom you detect is still staring at you and Hoseok who is literally glancing at Jungkook staring at you. This is getting ridiculous and you detest each awkward second spent with these men.

“Hey! You guys know that we are sending the last reminder for choosing an employee event!” Jimin suddenly chirps and you wince. “I noticed you guys haven’t been picking yours.”

“Last reminder? I thought it was just announced this afternoon.” Namjoon innocently asks while scratching his temple. Jimin instantly sighs in distress.

“I began sending it two weeks ago, Namjoon. Damn it!” He hisses and Namjoon immediately points at you.

“Y/N didn’t even read the email!” You slap his shoulder quickly in embarrassment. Jimin looks at you in disappointment and you smile, inevitably guilty for him.

“You guys are such a pain in the ass. I’ll be waiting for your emails monday morning. And please do pick the pen pal option arranged by me!” He singsongs proudly. You nod dubiously. “There’s a lot in store and I can guarantee you it would be very fun!”

You are still nodding, before looking to Namjoon. Freaking Jungkook is still reading you like you are a book, so you need to head out fast before anything unwanted happens. “So, I think I’ll head out first. You guys have fun—”

“Let’s go together! I parked in our usual.” Namjoon says and you briskly nod, your legs are desperate to put distance between you and Jungkook’s intense and unnecessary stare. You bite your tongue to hold yourself from snapping. Seriously, what is wrong with that guy?!

“Namjoon, Jungkook is going with you, he didn’t bring his car. Hoseok is pooling with me, we need to stop somewhere first.” Jimin nonchalantly mentions but you are immediately struck. Why?! Why would Jungkook pool with Namjoon? It means that you are going to spend another five minutes walking to your car parked in the basement where you’ll have to spend an elevator ride with him. Ugh, even the thought repulses you.

“Let’s go. Seokjin and Yoongi are already on the way to the bar and ten bucks say Yoongi is cranky as fuck now.” Hoseok wriggles his eyebrows at you. You reponds by mouthing him curse words as you know what he is implying. He is clearly having fun at your misery.

“Y/N, let’s go.” Namjoon quickly intercepts your clear avoidance for Jungkook by pulling you by the elbow. He gestures Jungkook to follow behind the two of you.

It was only uncomfortable silence even inside the lift that descends to the parking lot. You are this close to Jungkook, but you are still feeling his wary glances on your skin. It is too much of a burden and your last string snaps, unable to hold yourself.

“Is there something on my face?” You spit at him. Jungkook immediately looks away. Instead of answering with another trash reply, he decides to stay silent. Well, that’s new.

“So, tomorrow we need to choose an employee event. Can I sign you up for the pen pal one?” Namjoon asks suddenly, probably trying to take your minds off things, especially the fury you have for Jungkook.

“Namjoon, I don’t think so. At this rate I think I’ll just join that fishing one.”

Suddenly, an unexpected voice behind you is heard. “I don’t know, but they say fishing needs patience and you clearly are lacking that one, Y/N.”

You immediately throw your head back and glare at Jungkook. He nonchalantly looks back like he did not just diss you. “The fuck you say?!”

“I said what I said. I thought you’d know that by now.” He smiles civilly, and you just know he is the one begging you to snap and scratch your claws at him.

“Come here you little shit—“

Namjoon instantly holds you by the waist, stopping all your movement. “Y/N, don’t! Let’s go now.” He reliably holds you and leads you back to your car until Jungkook is safely out of your sight.

“Y/N, enough. It doesn’t matter. Just go home and take some rest.” He persuades and you have to take multiple breathes in and out to calm yourself. “I know you are angry but please don’t run him with your car.” He jokes, but you immediately form a chilling smirk with your lips.

“That’s a great idea, actually.” You vigorously pat your wheels.

“Y/N, I was joking, please—“

You giggle at his clear fright. “I’m joking too. I’m okay, Namjoon. He was just being a jerk again. I got used to it. That’s not even the most hurtful thing he said to me. I’m fine.”

Namjoon heaves a breath and moves to pat your head with a grin. “You gave me a fright, you fool. Drive save, okay? Let me know when you’re home.”

You hum and Namjoon moves to close your door. You move your car and catch Jungkook standing on the side. He was waving at you with a condescending smile, the one you answer by flipping him off.

It’s been nearly two in the morning. You are exhausted, but your body is still too much alive to be sleeping right now. At times, your body is still accustomed to your college routine when you’d only be sleepy when there’s still so much to do. Usually at these times, you would be watching movies with Namjoon, commenting on every single thing you can comment about the movie while he’d do anything to shut you up.

Already going to the sixth episode of your netflix series, you glance at your phone. Speaking of Namjoon, you notice that he hasn’t given you any signs of going back home. He always does, especially when drinking out with friends. The thought suddenly scares you that something might have happened to him, so you quickly dial his number.

Three beeps and finally someone picks up. “Hello? Namjoon? Where are you? Are you not coming home? If you’re not you should’ve told me sooner!”

An incoherent groan is heard along with a faint voice of someone you’d rather not mention. Another seconds of silence until an abrupt deafening, slurry voice is heard. It’s still him. Jeon Jungkook. “Y/N, can you help us? Namjoon passed out and I am not completely sober enough to drive. Come here and get us, please?”

“Ugh, get a taxi! It’s freaking two in the morning, I don’t want to go.” You groan, even if inside you are contemplating. Namjoon is drunk, and he brought his car with him. You’ll not be able to sleep if knowing he is out there drunk and in need of help. “Where are the others? Can’t they get you home?”

Five seconds of awkward whimpering of Jungkook babies himself, refusing to give Namjoon’s phone to someone else. It turns out to be Yoongi, also your workmate from IT. ”Y/N? Y/N! I am so happy you picked up. Can you get these guys? Everyone here beside me is drunk, and this petite body of mine can only take Hoseok and Jimin since they’re in my building as well. Can you please get your huge ass roommate home?”

You sigh, aloofly agreeing to help Yoongi. The place they are drinking is not far from your apartment, so not even bothering to change your peppa pig pajamas, you overlay it with a peach sweater and hitch a taxi right after.

Not even fifteen minutes on the way you finally arrive. The bar itself was rather vacant, the music has changed, and you can immediately detect a group of moron on the corner booth of the bar, looking severely drunk. Detecting your presence, Yoongi instantly lightens up.

“Y/N! Y/N thank god.” Yoongi exhales. “I really fucking desprate to go home. Can you bring Namjoon and Jungkook together? Jungkook lives near your apartment, and he is not that drunk. Just drop him off in front of his buildings, or whatever.”

You groan in distaste. “Really? I really have to bring this guy with me?” You peer your squinted eyes at Jungkook who is limping to stand beside you.

Jungkook rests his palm on your shoulder with an intoxicated smile, wiggling his eyebrows. “Yes. Let me come along, Y/N. I promise we’ll have fun, hmm?”

You instantly push him away in disgust, the empathy you surprisingly have for him has disappeared into thin air. “I’m not getting in any car with you, jackass. Have a great time sleeping on the street.”

Yoongi groans at your stubbornness. It is not an uncommon sight as he is already well informed of your bad blood with Jungkook. “Y/N, for the love of god please stop arguing with a drunk idiot and lets just go fucking home.”

Still scowling, you move to wake up Namjoon, circling his arms around your shoulder. Jungkook is somehow still sober enough to voluntarily help you carrying the giant to his car. After safely securing Namjoon on the back, you stride to the driver seat and Jungkook follows to sit on the passenger seat beside you. Driving out, it was only cold silence inside the car that you have to glance to see if Jungkook is asleep. It turns out he is not sleeping, instead catching him stealing glances at you.

“What the hell are you looking at?” You frown at him. He shrugs, diverting his eyes to the window. Another three minutes of silence until he opens his voice.

“Are you dating Namjoon?”

You stare at him, befuddled. What the fuck is he prattling about? “I am quite certain it is none of your business. Why are you asking anyway?”

“Nothing, just a question. You don’t have to answer.” He somberly responds, not mimicking the edge in your tone the way you expect him to. It leaves a sour taste in your tongue, feeling guilty in such a strange way.

“Namjoon and the other asked me why we hate each other so much.”

At the sudden information, your body tense. Namjoon asked him? Did he possibly tell the guys about what happened between the two of you? Even the thought only scares your whole being. “And what did you say?”

He heaves a deep breath once again. “I said I don’t not hate you. You may hate me, but I never hate you.”

The answer and his tone is astoundingly civil, so you glance at him in confusion. Hard to believe it is him talking right now. “What are you saying?”

He massages his temple. “I never hate you, Y/N. I know. I know what happened between us. And even if it’s too late, I know I was wrong and you have all rights to be furious at me.”

The fingers you have on the wheel tightens. You don’t know why you feel this way. The moment Jungkook acknowledges the mistakes he has made, it seems like everything shifts into a different light. You bit your lips in irresolution. Is it actually you who is too irrational not to let go something that is clearly in the past?

As if not realizing your current distress, Jungkook continues. “I know there is no time we’re not at each other’s throat, but I always wanted to ask how you’ve been. Are you living okay? How is your family, is everything good now?”

At his questions, you find yourself snapped. You don’t need it. You don’t need his sympathy. All things he said are never going to change what he did, and frankly it is too hard to imagine he might have changed. You had enough of him and his bullshit and one thing you will never do is to repeat history again. You are not that much of an idiot.

“Save it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.” You shakily say, the tears are already swarming at the corner of your eyes. “I’ve had it enough. I am not going back again to that phase again. You hurt me, bad. And I’m not an idiot whom you can fool around with and will be there at your doorstep the moment you want it.”

“Y/N, I—”

You immediately step on the break that jerks everyone inside the car including you. “This is your apartment, right?” If you’re explicit gesture for him to fuck off is not clear, you don’t know what is—but it seems like he understands well enough and reluctantly nods. Releasing his seatbelt, he gazes at you again, eyes swarming with anonymous emotion.

“Just so you know, I never told them anything—what happened between us, I mean. I’ll never say that to anybody. If you still hate me this much, I know it’s not my place to tell.”

You are still unmoving, only looking straight ahead as he dejectedly continues. “I know this is wistful thinking, but I wish we can sometime talk, Y/N. Just talk. Like two people who are not desperate to hurt each other, or to bicker, or anything.”

You shift your head, ironically smirk at him with tears already falling down your face. Talk? Now he wants to talk to you? Does he think you’re a joke? He is a bastard and you should’ve known better than to deal further with him again.

“Well, maybe you’ve lost your chance to talk when you told me to fuck off that time.”

After spending all weekend balled up inside your blanket while Namjoon constantly queried you about what happened, it is finally Monday morning. You woke up in a troubled mood, all because the first thing you do in the morning is to prepare for the 8.30 meeting you have with your boss and team, in which one person from finance is invited and it is freaking Jeon Jungkook. You literally have no idea what happened to your luck, since everything seems to be going downhill recently.

Arriving exactly in time, you can see two of your planning teammates, Hoseok and Jungkook are already seated. You greet them and directly take a seat beside Hoseok, silently opening your laptop to prepare the meeting, trying to be as nonchalant as ever. You notice that Jungkook is avoiding your eyes at all costs, and you are grateful for it. Your boss arrives directly in a minute, and then the meeting starts.

An hour into the meeting, your boss finally concludes. While you are arranging your belongings, your boss unexpectedly asks. “Y/N, for the employee engagement. Which one do you choose? If you’re still unsure, you should pick fishing. We can team up, and maybe talk about the project—”

The thoughts alone scares you and you abruptly answer in panic. Inside you are cursing Namjoon and his great predicting skills. “No, sir. I am picking the pen pal one. Might be great to meet and make new friends.”

He nods in understanding, and right after he walks out of the meeting room Hoseok chuckles. “Smart choice, Y/N. Otherwise you'll be stuck discussing work and faking laughs all the time.”

Smiling, you look up to Jungkook who stands near you. You feel the cold of nerves over his intimidating presence.

“Gotta go, talk to you another time.”

He quickly walks out, a tad bit surprising to both you and Hoseok. There is something different about Jungkook—he is not the confident, all-rounders man he used to be. There is a hint of rush in his voice and you might have an idea why.

“So, have you received your pen pal username?”

You look up to Namjoon, before re-reading the email Jimin sent to you yesterday about the person you are going to be anonymously chatting with. You’ve already downloaded the chatting applications, signing up yourself yesterday and now it’s you who should add and start the chat.

“Yes. I have, actually.” You breath out, before throwing it back on the sofa. “I don’t even know why I’m nervous! This doesn’t make sense. This is just talking, Y/N. Get your shit together.”

“I am now chatting with a certain person, username doofenshmirtz.” Namjoon mentions while typing on his phone. “I don’t know whether this is a good sign that she or he loves doctor doofenshmirtz or just another heartless jerk like anybody else.”

“Well if it's the preceding, he or she is indeed a keeper.” You hum in agreement, finally braving yourself to add. But now you have to begin the chat! God, this is indeed a struggle. “I am so awkward. What do people usually say to introduce themselves?”

“Well, most people usually go with a simple ‘hello’.”

You sigh at Namjoon’s useless advice, but when you are typing, sudden pop up chats arrive, shocking you altogether.

91snowball : wow, this really work [21:38]

91snowball : tell me if i’m correct or fuck it i’ll just delete this app now [21:39]

“Snowball is chatting with me right now!” You freak out, raise to your knees in tension. “Namjoon, what should I do! I don’t know what to say!”

Namjoon weirdly glances at you, then proceeds to continue whatever he is doing on his phone. “Just say something. Why are you thinking about it too much…”

blueberry_25 : yes i think we are pen pals😅 [21:40]

91snowball : ah, finally [21:40]

91snowball : so get this, blueberry_25. Which one travels faster? hot or cold [21:40]

Your eyebrows wrinkle at the unexpected riddle, but giggle otherwise. “My pen pal just asked me a riddle. Which one travels faster, hot or cold.”

Namjoon groans in disgust. “If the answer is hot because you can catch a cold you better block that person right now. That’s super fucking lame, what the hell.”

blueberry_25 : did you just search ice breaking riddles at google because i read the same one you asked me lol [21:42]

91snowball : wtf haha thats embarrassing but since you did too im fine 🥴 [21:43]

But soon enough, you find yourself chatting to snowball until nearly two in the morning. It is beyond you how easy it is to talk with him, about the recent movies, your unending love for how i met your mother, his addiction to brooklyn nine nine, and a little about each other. You know he is a male around your age (as you decide not to disclose age, just range) and he loves skiing. You tell him about your love of classical and grunge music—in which fascinates him due to the heavy contrast of the two—and ending it with a debate about which music defines puberty the most, my chemical romance or fall out boy. Both of you agree to end it with a draw.

In the end, snowball kindly reminds you you should be sleeping and have a good rest for tomorrow’s work. Reluctantly agreeing, you thank him and say you’re looking forward to the next chat. Even with the exhaustion you feel, you can only fall asleep after reading your exhilarating chat with him for one more time.

You forget how easy it is to talk to someone new. Or maybe you have been trying to forget you ever did.

Walking to your desk, you rest all your belongings and open your laptop. Hoseok beside you instantly slides his chair next to yours, eyes squinted and eyebrows scrunched.

“Why the fuck are you singing in nine in the morning, that’s so unlike you.”

You look at him in confusion. Are you singing? You did not even realize. “Oh, am I singing? Sorry if it bothers you, I didn’t know.”

The horrified look in Hoseok’s face is getting prominent. “You literally never apologize in the mornings. You always have a foul mood with an ugly frown on your face. Tell me who kidnapped you! Are you even Y/N?!”

You roll your eyes at his dramatic response. “Yes, I know I haven’t been in the best mood lately, but just let me live, okay? And why is this chocolate on my desk, this is yours.”

Hoseok looks at the ferrero rocher leaning on your desk with the small card on it. “It’s not mine. But let me check.” He swiftly takes the chocolate and pulls the card, his eyes scanning the words written on it. Five seconds passes before the mirth is detected on his face.

“This is not mine, this is for you.”

Flustered, you quickly take the card back from Hoseok’s grasp and read it. Someone is sending you chocolate, along with a hot pack glued on the back, and you don’t have any idea who or why.

It might be a little cold since it’s November soon, so here's a hot pack and also chocolate for you. Hope you’re having a great day today, Y/N!

“Wow, a secret admirer? The fuck, this is 2020–who does that anymore.” Hoseok cringes while getting back to his seat. Even so, he quickly opens his skype with a mischievous smile on his face. What an obvious moron, he giggles to himself.

“I told you a million times it is not me, Y/N.”

It is lunch at your office cafeteria, while Namjoon looks at you in distress at your accusation of him sending the chocolate you also bring with you to lunch. Hoseok is silently sitting in front of both of you, with Yoongi and Jimin on both his sides.

“But who else? There is no one supportive enough to send me a chocolate and a freaking hot pack beside you.” You huff while cutting your broccoli. Namjoon sighs, glancing at Hoseok discreetly.

“Even though I’m honored that I’m the only one who is strong enough to be your emotional support, it’s not me, and—“

“Enough about that! Hey, how’s it going with your pen pal?” Jimin suddenly asks, a wide smile on his face. You expect Jimin to ask the question to anyone, so when you notice the table is too silent you find everyone is peering at you.

“Why are you asking me?! Ask Hoseok.”

“It was so so. A man from HR.” Hoseok nonchalantly answers. “And we only introduced ourselves last night.”

“Mine was fine! She’s a girl from procurement.” Namjoon smiles. “But yeah, we just introduced ourselves last night. Maybe I should talk to her again today.”

“I just knew he is a guy. I didn’t really know where he’s from, but he’s around my age. It was great! He was very kind, and we had fun.” You nod silently.

“Fun? You literally were laughing like a hyena at 2 in the morning. I heard it through the wall.” Namjoon snorts and you side-glare him. Namjoon’s loose lips again, what’s new. “I figure it must be your pen pal, right? What ‘fun’ were you having, Y/N?”

“You’re literally disgusting, Namjoon.”

“Hey, Jungkook! Sit here!”

You instantly look up, finding Jungkook’s eyes peering at your desk, a tray of food in his grasp. You don’t really know why, you really thought he was heading to your table—but when his eyes find yours, he immediately pauses on his step. “Ah, sorry but I am here with someone.” He thinly smiles and excuses himself.

Unable to hold yourself, you look to your back and find him sitting with the tables of girls whom you recognize is also in finance. You are not certain if it is only you, but those girls really seem to be too amazed at his presence, instantly leeching themselves to him. Even if it’s not really a strange view to you, it is difficult to hold back your scoff.

Same old, same old.

You are waiting in the lobby of your office for Namjoon, since you are not bringing your car with you today. He said he’ll come down soon, so you are waiting patiently—but then a pair catches your attention from the corner of your eyes. It is Jungkook and Seojoo—the one you recognize also from Finance who was also at lunch with him.

You don’t even realize your eyes are squinted at those two, along with a scowl on your face. But at the possibility of being caught, you instinctively divert your eyes and duck your head to the other side. Even still Jungkook somehow is still able to capture you and head to your side. At that you internally curse.

“Y/N, why are you here? You’re not heading home?” He asks in concern, closing to you while your eyebrows wrinkle at his so-called familiarity. What is he doing talking so assertively—does he really think you are on that basis with him?

“I’m waiting for someone.” You curtly answer, not even a shift in your expression.

“Who?”

You look at him while scrunching your eyebrows. What the hell does he think he has a right to ask you that? “No one. It’s okay, I’m going home.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with us? Seojoo here is pooling with me—Ah, sorry I was impolite. Do you know each other?” Jungkook asks, like he is suddenly waking up that there is someone beside the two of you. Holding back your snort, you put a strict smile and offer your hand to the woman who is not even concerned to hide even a bit of her judgmental eyes at you.

“Seojoo.” She whispers which you mutter your name as a response and fuck is it awkward. You can obviously feel that Seojoo is marking his territory around Jungkook and you don’t fancy it one bit. Why does she have to feel that way towards you?

“Seojoo, you said you are going to the restroom. Aren’t you going?” Jungkook suddenly asks after your short and tense introduction. At that, Seojoo is bewildered, presumably bothered by the thought of leaving you alone with him, like you are going to eat him up right after she leaves. Fuck, what is wrong with her...

She hesitates, “I’m fine, though—”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be waiting here. You can go.” Jungkook amicably says with a wide smile, and the insecure chick had no other option than to comply. After she leaves, his prodding eyes are immediately focused on you.

“Can you just say to that fling of yours that I am just a nobody? I will not steal you, damn it. If looks can kill I’ll already bleed to death right now.” You scowl in irk. But just seeing your scowl somehow brings giggles to his smile. “Why are you laughing, you dumbass?”

“You know what, if I’m that presumptuous I’d think you are jealous right now.”

You scrunch your nose, severely abhorred by his annoying big head. “But you are that presumptuous.”

“Exactly.”

Irritated, you push him by the chest until he erupts in loud laughter. “Fuck, why should I be jealous? We are literally nothing and will never be more than that—Gosh, we’re not even friends.”

“Well that’s just saddening.” He frowns while clutching on his chest even though he cannot say it’s not expected. “What are you saying, Y/N? We are more than that, we go way back and you know it.”

You hum and fake a contemplating expression. “Hmm, you’re right but I’m drawing blanks here. How did it go again?”

The wide mischievous grin on his lips dims, shifts into a thin smile. “I could not change the past, I know. But you know regardless of what happened—”

“I’m done.” Seojoo suddenly says, clings on Jungkook’s arm that it stops whatever words he is about to say and you are kind of thankful for that. “We can go now.”

Finally detecting Namjoon tapping out to the lobby in such perfect timing, you send both of the morons a lofty grin. “I should go. You guys have fun, but don’t forget a condom, okay?” You turn your gaze to flabbergasted Seojoo. “Or you know what? Maybe you should prick on it too, so then he’ll stay forever. But if I were you, I wouldn’t count on it. Good luck!”

You can sense the jaw drops at such provocative statements coming out of you, but you don’t even give an ounce of care and leave the scene. After managing to humiliate or hurt both of them, you feel good. You feel strong. However, when Namjoon is at your side and glances at you, he shouts, utterly stupefied.

“Y/N, why—why are you crying?!”

It’s eleven pm, you are still settled inside your blanket. You are physically tired, but still your mind is too conflicted to sleep. Half is because of your work, and the other half is caused by that freaking jerk, Jeon Jungkook.

You despise the fact that you are still thinking about him. You suppose to be hating on that guy, but even the hatred is too difficult to maintain right now with his strangely devoted and warm self. Even if it’s a hard to swallow pill, you know you’re enjoying the banter with him. God, you are fucking weak for Jungkook and you hate it.

Rolling in your bed, you try to remember the bad things he has done for you. Forgetting you, abandoning you, playing with your heart like it did not matter—but it eventually ends with the treasured moments with him you wish will never resurface again. Like the moment he holds you all night after your parents fight. Or the moment he defends your honor like it matters the most. Or the moment he first kissed you that fateful, rainy night. Everything is coming back to you now like a trainwreck.

Suddenly among your wandering thoughts, your phone rings. Heaving deeply, you pick up to detect a new message on your anonymous chatting apps. It’s snowball.

91snowball : hi hi hi hi hi what are you doing [23:02]

91snowball : are you sleeping no you cant be sleeping dont sleep on me blue [23:02]

Chuckling, you proceed to type a response.

blueberry_25 : hahaha im not sleeping [23:03]

blueberry_25 : i can’t sleep. Too much thoughts [23:03]

91snowball : care to share? I swear im a good listener [23:05]

91snowball : someone bothering you at work? let me know and ill gass ‘em up for u blue [23:05]

blueberry_25 : really? you’d do that for me? [23:06]

91snowball : of course just tell me who it is they’ll be gone by tomorrow [23:06]

blueberry_25 : lol it’s nothing. Im just confused [23:07]

blueberry_25 : have u ever been confused about someone? Like u thought u hate them but… its hard to say you do [23:09]

You don’t even know why you just have the urge to tell a stranger about your current contemplation about Jungkook. You desperately need a third perspective on this, and maybe just telling it to someone that wouldn’t know and judge you might be a good change for once.

91snowball : why do u hate them? [23:09]

Blueberry_25 : he hurt and lied to me. when i thought there was something real, he was just in for fun and i should hate him. but why is it so hard to say so now? [23:10]

It’s true. Jungkook was someone you thought you’d love. You trust him so much that you opened up to him better than anyone else, and thought something was there. But all of it was just a lie—he was just in for the thrill. All because of his annoying male ego that made you realize he was just a patronizing jerk that used you for his own benefit and left when he’s done. He is the reason you are insecure about meeting someone new. He is the evil one.

91snowball : maybe because they changed? I know its hard to believe but people change too [23:12]

blueberry_25 : maybe… [23:14]

91snowball : what i’m saying, maybe you should give them a chance to explain? [23:15]

91snowball : but if they’re still the same, punch them and never see them again [23:16]

91snowball : you don’t want to be thinking about it forever, blue. just give the closure your heart deserves [23:17]

He is right, you desperately need closure with Jungkook so you can finally move on with your life—but even the thought scares you. A question arises inside your head that settles strangely in your chest—a question that answers why all your pain and resentment are still so vivid even after years have passed.

Closure with Jungkook scares you… Because you do not know if you’re ready to close it.

Another late night, but you are still sitting at your desk. All of your teams already went back, and Namjoon told you he went home an hour ago. He did offer to keep you company, but you quickly refuse, saying you’re doing alright on your own—but now you indeed start to regret your decision. You hate being alone, especially at night but you really need to finish the planning report asap for finance to check again. Seriously, these endless tasks are going to be the death of you.

“Why is this—” You furiously tap on backspace, anger rises inside your head. You have no idea why the recent planning process has too many hiccups like this. The data given to you is not tally, and you don’t even know why. There must be something wrong.

Among the stress inside your head, your eyes fall at the lilies resting on your desk and smiles. Your eyes linger on the notes stuck on it for already the nth time already today.

Here’s beautiful lilies for you. Hope you have a great day too today, Y/N!

“Hey, you are still here?”

Surprised, you abruptly look up, finding Jungkook’s concerned face at you. You release a deep breath of relief. “I thought you went home, it’s pretty late.” He continues apprehensively.

You clear your throat, suddenly finding it a bit hard to speak with the realization that it’s only the both of you on the whole level. “Yes, haven’t finished the report I need to submit. No worry, I’ll submit it soon.”

He carefully slides and sits on Hoseok’s seat beside you. “I’m okay if you submit this tomorrow. You should head back, you must be tired.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I just want to finish this tonight, head home and sleep.” You give him a short, civil smile before continuing your work. “You can go home if you want to. I’m okay.”

“I think I’d rather stay. My cousin is having ‘dinner’ with his girlfriend right now, god knows what I might go home to.” He lightly jokes, and it kinda works in entertaining you a little. You know based on your resentment to him you should curtly answer or ask him to leave, but you do know that you’d rather have someone as company right now, even though it has to be Jeon Jungkook.

“You got flowers?” He pensively asks after minutes of silence, raising his eyebrow.

You glance at him staring at the lilies at your desk. Suddenly, your throat dries and you don’t even know why. “Y-yes.”

“From who?”

“I.. I don’t know. Someone put this on my desk this morning.” You whisper, more to yourself. You hate yourself for explaining when you have the right not too, but deep down, this shameless part you are expecting Jungkook might be the one sending all these gifts. You know it makes no sense whatsoever—but involuntarily you are still foolishly hoping so. Yes, you are that delusional.

“A note too? Wow, a secret admirer. How poetic.” He sneers, then shifts his gaze back to his screen. At the obviously sarcastic tone, you scoff in irritation. What a jerk.

“You have a problem with that? What—jealous that you never have someone you truly care to give gifts to?”

He meaningfully stares at you, making it difficult to breathe. “It’s not true and you know it.”

At your befuddled expression, Jungkook sighs, not even wanting to prolong the debate. “But no. None whatsoever. I don’t care, it has nothing to do with me anyway.”

You bite your lips in evident shock and disappointment, and try your best to make the unpleasant thoughts disappear. Did he just implicitly address your past together? About the time he gave you a gift you could never forget for your whole lifetime? About the time when you foolishly thought he was someone you could give your heart to?

A few minutes passed in deep, tense silence and Jungkook is sitting beside you now, working on his own tasks. He is so focused on the screen, with his lean fingers stroking his chiseled jaw and he leans to the seat, eyebrows scrunching like something is bothering him so much. And the scar prominent on his upper left cheek is as palpable as ever, and you notice how much he has changed, but still hasn’t. Jungkook grew up really well from the last time you saw him a few years back. No wonder all the girls are flocking on him like he is a magnet or whatever.

“Hey, Y/N, get this.” Jungkook suddenly turns to you, and albeit surprised, you are trying to look as unfazed as ever—like you did not just spend minutes to admire his attractive features. Even if your face heats up at the possibility of Jungkook finding out your antics. “I see the reports from the planning and other supply chain teams are not tally. This has been going, since approximately two months ago. Do you have any idea why?”

You squint your eyes at the reports. Yes, it is the data you get from Junsu, the new-hire for your team. “I don’t really know why. I got this data from Junsu, he said he received it from the plant team.”

“I really think we should check this. I’m not sure.” Jungkook whispers, chewing on his lower lips. Another seconds of silence passes before he notices your intimidating stare on his face. “...everything okay, Y/N? Something’s bothering you? Are you tired?”

Fuck, you really spend those seconds staring at the way he chewed his lips. There must be something wrong in your head now. “No—no.. I’m just.. Yes! Yes, I’m tired. I think I need to go home.”

Jungkook nods in all seriousness while you are packing your belongings. You need to flee, fast. “Yes, you really should go home and rest. Let’s talk about this tomorrow again, hmm?”

“Yes, yes! Okay, see you tomorrow.” You hastily smile, quickly escape the room without minding his voice calling your name. Damn, you need to set your head straight. It is Jeon Jungkook you’re talking about here. You can’t be weak for him.

The night passess in a blink, and then the morning arrives a tad bit faster than you expect it to. Especially since you wake up to your boss' message, ordering you to come to his desk right after you arrive at the office—which means a disaster happened and you are not mentally prepared for that.

“Y/N, why the hell the sales director called and yelled at me?” Is your boss’ first sentence when you enter his room. You gulp instinctively, then move to proceed to sit because you know it won’t be over before it’s too long.

Another hour and you came out from the room looking as exhausted as ever. There is some mistake in either the planning and manufacturing side that creates untally numbers in reports between units which then escalates to the higher management. And now you have to manually check the numbers without the intervention of people and present it by tomorrow afternoon, which means you will have to go to the plant as of right now—it’s two and a half hours drive from your office.

Feeling terribly unfit to drive due to the pain in your head, you choose to get there by train—in which you spend by checking the numbers again for the first hour, but the pain in your head is getting unbearable and you decide to sleep it off. Few hours later, you finally arrive at the plant, weakly entering the office side of the plant. Upon finding a space to place your belongings, someone immediately catches your attention, finding him talking with a group of people and a stack of paper on his grasp. Are your eyes lying to you right now? Is he really here?

“...Jungkook?”

Hearing his name is called, Jungkook instinctively looks back to find your confused expression. The shock in his expression is palpable too. “Y/N? You’re here.”

“What are you doing here?”

He looks bewildered at your simple question. “I-I am talking to—to these people. Umm.. for my reports.”

Your eyebrows raised, as he should be coordinating with plant finance folks instead of your team. “But they are in supply chain.”

Jungkook is abashed, you sense it clearly. “Y-yes, I just—can we talk about this later? You can join us if you want, this might help you too.”

Decide to ignore the strange fact that he is here, you and Jungkook spend another hour talking to the manufacturing team, and then manage to get the in hand documentations of work orders. After settling inside the empty cubicle, you look at Jungkook who is already eagerly jumping into the documentations. “Hey. Are you here to help me?”

Jungkook looks at you, avoids your eyes and clears his throat. “No, of course not. Why would I? What’s in it for me? You’re talking nonsense now, Y/N.”

“But this shouldn’t be your job to go to the plant and check all the data.” You whisper, more to yourself while looking at the overwhelming stack of papers. “Why are you doing this?”

He suddenly stops, and looks at you with all seriousness painted on his eyes. “Don’t sweat on it, Y/N. Let’s just finish this and get to the bottom of it asap, okay? I am here to help.” Jungkook whispers and manages to silence your retaliation. Yes, you know you are seriously in need of help right now. Doing this alone will not be as helpful as having Jungkook with you, especially having to present the result by tomorrow afternoon—it makes no sense to do it alone.

Two months worth of documentation is a lot and overwhelming. And even after six hours working on it, you can only focus on the amount of work you still need to go through. The looming pain inside your head is not helping either.

“Hey, hey, you are pale, Y/N. What’s wrong?” Jungkook instantly stops when he detects you are unmoving, resting on your chair while closing your eyes. You yourself do not know why you are feeling so unwell today. “Hey, you haven’t eaten, right? Damn it, your blood pressure—wait here, I’ll grab you something to eat.”

Ah, that must be it. You just realized you haven’t eaten anything today beside one slice of bread in the morning. Especially with the low blood pressure, it must be taking a toll on you. But one thing that catches your attention is the fact Jungkook remembers your condition even after all these years—it settles strangely inside your chest.

In no time he is already back with a paper bag. “Here, I brought you this. Let’s eat in the pantry.” He immediately holds you by the shoulder, helping your weak legs to walk to the pantry. After ensuring you are sitting well, he opens the food box and juice and offers you the utensils. “I bought the first thing I saw, this should be good for your blood pressure. Eat.”

You nod thankfully and proceed to eat. After three spoons and a few minutes, you can finally breathe clearly. But as you see that Jungkook is just looking at you expectantly, you feel severely self-aware. “You’re not eating too?” You ask shyly.

Jungkook smiles and scratches his nape abashedly. “Sorry, ‘was so rushed that I forgot to buy one for me.”

He forgot to buy one for himself but buy this one for you? You instinctively offer him the food. “Eat this, then. We can share.”

Jungkook kindly rejects with a smile. “No, I’ll buy something else. Yours is too healthy for me.” He jokes and walks out of the pantry. Finally alone, you stare at the food in front of you, somehow frowning.

“I really think we should go back.” Jungkook stubbornly says after the nth time debating whether you should stay in the office or go back to your two hours away apartment. The answer should be easy—you have to stay back since tomorrow you will be meeting another plant team. Especially since it’s already seven in the evening, and the plant is closing off soon. “But you need to rest! Stop forcing your body, you moron. You seriously can be sick because of your stubbornness, you know?”

“I’ve been through this! You should’ve seen me in college, I do this every single time. I’m good and alive now. See?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, folding his arms to his chest. “Really? And tell me how’d it go again?”

You wince at the remembrance that you were bedrested more than you’re proud of, all because of your bad habits of staying late and overworking yourself. A question arises inside your head, but you briskly push it away. “You know Jungkook, you’re worse than my aunt, you know that?”

He giggles, showing his bunny teeth that somehow knocks the air off your chest. That heartfelt smile, you remember it like it was yesterday. “If you want, we can stay near here somewhere and continue the work. You need to sleep, and in the morning we can go back to the plant.”

“I’ll check the nearest hotel. Get ready, after this we’ll leave, okay?” He says while walking further from your desk. You bite your lips, silently nodding.

Suddenly, your phone rings. It’s Namjoon. You gasp, remembering that you haven’t let him know you are going to be away for work. “Hello, Namjoon?”

“Hey, where are you? I went to your desk two times today, thinking you had a meeting or anything. You haven’t even returned my calls or messages.” He hisses with obvious worry lacing his voice. “When will you be home?”

“Ah, I don’t think I’m going home today. I’m at the plant, have urgent work to finish so I’ll stay in a nearby hotel.”

“Is it safe? Are you okay? Do you want me to pick you up?” The worry and hurry instantly doubles the moment he heard you’ll be staying far away. You giggle, noticing how Namjoon is already too accustomed in taking care and worrying about you.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to worry. By the way, Jungkook is also here—”

“Jungkook?” He immediately cuts you, clearly confused. “The Jeon Jungkook? Your archenemy?”

“Yup.”

Two seconds of silence. “And he’ll be staying with you? In the same hotel?”

“The same hotel, yes! But not the same room. I know what you’re thinking, Namjoon, but it’s nothing—”

Namjoon tauntingly laughs that makes you totally self-conscious of your own skin. “Ah, the beautiful, old devil’s tango you both play. I have nothing to worry about, then. Tell me how it goes, okay? Bye, Y/N, remember to use protection. I’m not ready to be an uncle.”

“The fuck—”

But Namjoon is already cut off, and now you are staring harshly at your phone, your grasp is sucking the life out of your phone. Fuck Namjoon! You know you should never trust a guy who literally ruined a good pair of sunglasses he just bought. Seriously.

“I got one.” Jungkook suddenly interrupts your busy thoughts, walking to your side with a large frown in his lips. “But can you believe it? He said there is a concert near here tomorrow so all the rooms are full beside one large suite, and the other nearest hotel is like eleven kilometers away. What do you think?”

At his statement, your sight is suddenly blurry—all you can think about is fucking Namjoon and what he just said to you.

Ugh, you hate how statistics shows that he is often right, like 95% of the time...

Thinking you have no other choice than to get the one room left, you accept your fate that you have to be in one room with Jeon Jungkook for the rest of the night. Even if the suite only has one king-size bed, you get a compensation of a large suite that the distance you have with him may be kept well—and Jungkook agreed that he will not make any funny business on you after you ultimately warn him that you’ll be submitting charges if he even tries to.

“Y/N, I am not a sexual offender or anything. I will not do anything against your consent.” Jungkook sighs for the nth time as a reply to your threat of stabbing him with a fork. Again. “But it’s a different case if you’re willing…” You instantly send a lethal punch to the guy’s shoulder until he whimpers of pain. “What the—that hurts! I was kidding!”

“I was not kidding.” You roll your eyes, folding your arms on your chest. “This is a bad idea. I don’t even know what I should wear. I don’t want to sleep in my work clothes—and I have to be in a room with a pervert. Can’t you just sleep outside?”

He smirks while stealing glances at you. “You can always sleep naked and I won’t be complaining.”

“Fuck you.”

Jungkook greasily winks at you. “With pleasure.”

You groan in disgust. “God, you’re still the same, annoying piece of shit you were a few years back. I can’t believe this.”

“Well, you dated this piece of shit years ago, so…”

You look at him weirdly. Dated? What is he saying now.. “We were not dating. It was just a fling, you know it.”

Jungkook stares at you, with undeciphered emotions painted on his eyes. “We.. we weren’t?”

“No.”

He clears his throat, his cheeks are suddenly turning red. Your eyebrows slant at the thick air between the both of you. “Y-yes. Yes, of course it wasn’t. I was joking.” He continues with a forced laughter.

You slowly nod, clearing your throat out of sheer awkwardness. What happened between the two of you that time—it was a mere fling. It took nearly months to admit it was just that and nothing more, and now why is he here saying that it’s something more? He probably is just messing with your head, so no need to overthink whatsoever. That’s what got you inside the mess in the first place anyway.

After safely parked in the hotel lobby, you are about to walk out when Jungkook stops you. “I have a change shirt here, you can wear that to sleep. I believe there is a boutique here, so you can buy it for work tomorrow.”

He gives you a pair of clean shirt and pants, while you are only able to look at him with an unknown feeling in your chest. All these things—it feels too familiar to be true. You are unable to resist reminiscing the past. “You remember when I ran away from my house that time? I forgot to bring anything—and you lent me your shirt that time.”

Jungkook looks at you in evident shock, until a smile is suddenly formed on his lips. “Of course I remember. You were crying at that time, I was so panicked. You were wearing my shirt for like.. A full week.”

You giggle, smiling to yourself. Your parents were fighting again at that time, it was because of you. Your mother wants to take you back to Seoul, while your father wants you to stay in the states with him. You were so angry at that time, the fact that they weren’t even thinking to discuss it with you first so you fled, begging Jungkook to accompany you. That’s how you spend a full week running away with him bringing nothing to change into.

“I still can’t believe I stayed in your parent’s house for a full week without them finding out. That’s like… super mind blown.” You giggle again, remembering the time you stayed in his family house. It is undoubtedly one of the best times of your life, sneaking inside Jungkook’s house, staying in and having to spend all your days with him.

“It was crazy.” Jungkook breathes at you, smiling so wide his bunny teeth are visible. “I was so happy that time.”

Suddenly realizing how real it all gets after the unexpected nostalgia, you clear your throat trying to manage your emotions in. You really need to get your head straight. “Wow, this got mushy real quick, right? Let’s—let’s just go in.”

After a good ten minutes, you are settling inside your shared room with Jungkook. It was definitely larger than you think, so it was comforting to say the least. All because you cannot trust yourself when he’s around, and the fact that you’re starting to tolerate the guy isn’t helping either.

“I’m starting on the documentation, you take a shower first.” Jungkook mutters while settling himself on the corner of the room. You nod, and whilst getting ready with the pair of clean clothes he lent you, you catch Jungkook staring.

“What are you staring so intently at, you freak.” You snort and Jungkook chuckles while shaking his head.

“Nah, just remembered the old times. ” He smiles and suddenly you forget how to breathe. “You were so… pretty.”

Your heart literally skips a beat at how unreal everything is, but then are reminded of something that immediately makes you feel like an idiot for thinking he might mean it. “Didn’t you think like that because we just had a shower sex that time?”

Jungkook immediately blushes at your upfront mention. He most definitely did not expect that. “No, I wasn’t thinking—damn, Y/N, how can you say that!”

Rolling your eyes, your hand moves to slide the bathroom door. “Whatever, I’m going to shower now. Don’t even think about moving even a muscle from there.”

Jungkook sighs at your non-stop cautiousness, but is still unable to get that one last kick in. “You sure you can do it alone? I can help you shower, you know. ” He teases mischievously which you instantly answer by flipping him off. But you know the smile is too wide—you are enjoying this light banter too much now.

After having a very delightful bath, you walk out while drying your hair with a towel. Staying true to his words, Jungkook is seated still on the sofa, eyes not even blinking—too focused on the work in front of him. You move to his side, carefully resting your hands on his shoulder that he instinctively jumps on his seat. “Sorry to interrupt, but you should take a shower first. It must be suffocating still wearing that.”

Jungkook seems flustered, and immediately rises. “Yes, okay. I’ll be a second, then we can start. You should...rest a bit.”

Sitting on the couch he sat on, you stare at nothing in particular when your ringtone is heard. You mindlessly open your phone and find it’s Hoseok on the other side, pinging you endlessly—of course about you spending the night with Jungkook. You hiss just thinking about Namjoon literally can't keep his mouth shut, so instead, you leave him a fuck off emotion and move to open another chatting app, strangely miss chatting with your anonymous friend. Maybe you should update him about another conflict you are having right now, having been forced to be around the one you had a huge crush a few years back.

blueberry_25 : hiiiiiiiiiiii are you there? [20:15]

Right after sending the message, suddenly a ringtone is heard—it must be Jungkook’s phone. Shrugging the fact, you send another message, and Jungkook’s phone is ringing again. What is this coincidence? Why is his phone ringing at the same time you send yours?! The possibility of Jungkook being paired as your anonymous friends literally makes you dizzy beyond words, and you quickly move to grab his phone from his office bag, trying to detect if your notification is there. Fuck, fuck! If he really is your anonymous friend, you’d literally run away and sink yourself in the nearest waters. You’d rather set yourself on fire than having to spend another second around him.

Picking up his phone with your heart beating unhealthily fast, but all you see in his notification is Hoseok’s messages. You scroll slowly on his notifications, but fortunately nothing about your message is seen. You sigh deeply in reassurance. God, that was close.

Realizing how improper it is to be preying on his privacy, you clear your throat and put the phone back on the desk. Fuck, you are really shameless. But in your defense, it’s really a matter of life or death, because you have no idea whether you’d rather spend another second breathing when knowing you’ve been talking to Jungkook about Jungkook all these times. But seeing that there’s no notification, you feel slightly assured. Slightly.

Yet to think about it, he is using the basketball keychain you gave him a few years back and it makes you feel incredibly unsettled. Why is he wearing this? He changed his phone and really went through the hard work to still keep something he hated the first time receiving? You even thought he threw the keychain away after receiving it.

“Hey, what are you looking at?”

At the sudden low minister you look up in surprise, seeing Jungkook walking out of the shower, still with wet hair, wearing a white shirt and a pair of shorts that looks really comfortable, but not really for you as a silent bystander. Fuck Jungkook and his incredible charm!

“Is it my phone?” Jungkook asks, eyebrows scrunched.

Suddenly realizing that you are cornered by his great smell, you are stuttering to even let out an answer. “I’m-i’m sorry! Your phone rang and I thought it was something important, and—”

“You shouldn’t check my phone, really.”

Remembering how Jungkook hated to have anyone messing with his privacy, you wince internally and prepare for his wrath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything, I swear.”

At your regretful gesture, Jungkook sighs and rests himself on the space beside you. “It’s okay. Just.. just don’t do it again. I don’t want you to be shocked to see what’s in there.”

Seeing an opportunity now that he has relaxed a bit, you push him by the shoulder with your own with a mischievous smile. “It’s okay, I’ve seen your porn collection. Nothing will really shock me at this point.”

Waiting for Jungkook to respond to your laughter, but instead you only find him gazes at you with indiciphered emotions. “Why? Is there anything wrong?”

“No, It’s.. it’s just weird. Actually the first time you acknowledge our past without wanting to rip my head off my body.”

At that, you find your gaze falling back to the basketball keychain on his phone. “You’re using that lame ass keychain you hated so much now?”

You remember that time you went to an old market with your friends the morning of your third date with Jungkook, seeing a cute basketball chain and you instantly remembered how much Jungkook always wanted to play basketball even if he was in a football team, so you bought that keychain for him. He begrudgingly received it with so much complaints, about how he didn’t like any accessories for his phone, or how he literally played football, or how it didn’t match his fashion concept, and you haven’t even seen him use it… until now.

“Yup. I have been using it since… you left actually.” Jungkook looks down to his phone, and you look at him with a contorted face.

“Why?”

Jungkook looks at you, staying silent for a good ten seconds while you bite your lips, wondering if you are ready to hear whatever he’ll say—cause any scenario playing in your head is just a trainwreck of mess after mess—until he answers with a heavy sigh of distress. “I’ll answer that later. Let’s just.. Work now.”

Silently thankful that he decides not to answer your pointless question, you agree and proceed with work. It is not exceptionally hard to focus on your work when the deadline is just around the corner, and you are thankful Jungkook is very helpful and kind with everything. But after a few hours spent working, from the corner of your eyes Jungkook is massaging his sore neck with contorted face. You know why—he severely strained his neck muscle during a practice a few years back, and will always feel pain whenever he is overworking himself, like he is right now.

“Hey, you should take a rest.” You tap his shoulders with worried gaze. “Your neck must be killing you right now. I can continue, there’s just a few of these left.”

Jungkook really wants to refuse your mindful offering, but the pain is disagreeing with him. So albeit half-heartedly, he moves to rest on the bed. “Laying on the bed would only worsen the pain, though..” You whisper to yourself, somehow still vividly remember everything.

“You want me to massage you?”

Jungkook looks at you in surprise. “Are you serious?”

You are fumbling with the hem of Jungkook’s shirt you wear and hesitantly nod. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself… Because… you’re my ride tomorrow to Seoul! We really need to get back right after, so—”

Jungkook nods with a thin smile, and you decide to shut up and just move closer to his side with a bottle of baby oil from your bag. After smearing a few drops on his neck, you proceed to move your fingers to give slight pressure around his neck—just the way you remember it.

“Now I know why you still smell like that. You’re still using that baby oil.” He hums in delight and you inevitably smile. The fact that he still remembers sends warmth to your chest.

After spending a good ten minutes massaging his upper neck, you notice that the neck area of his t-shirt is wet with the oil. “Ah, your shirt..”

“It’s okay. Are you done?”

You bit your lip. Not really, you know by the look of it the pain is still far from being off, but you don’t know what you should do. The convenient way is to have Jungkook out of his shirt, but then you’d literally be out of your mind. You most certainly do not have the capacity to do with a shirtless Jungkook, right on such a closed space, especially on a bed. Even thinking about it makes you feel rightfully ridiculous.

“You’re still in pain, though…”

“Ah, this is okay.” Jungkook gives you a comforting smile, trying to move his head, “I’m now as good as—Ow!”

Now you don’t even know how can that man survive another day being this careless. He is moving his head excessively only to prove his lies and end up with more pain. Really Jungkook-like. Sighing, you pull on his shirt. “Take off your shirt, you moron. I’ll massage you.”

At your bold statement, Jungkook literally shivers on your grasp. “No, It’s all well. You don’t need to—”

Greatly unimpressed, you warn him not to reason with your request and just by your stare, he begrudgingly complies. “But don’t laugh. I haven’t been working out recently, super swamped at work so if you just laugh, even a little, I’ll leave you here to take the bus alone to Seoul tomorrow.”

Giggling at his pouts, Jungkook moves to open his shirt and instantly lay on his stomach on the bed. “Don’t see it!”

“Why! Are you shy at me now? You literally used every chance to be shirtless back then.” You chuckle and mischievously poke him around the waist with your forefinger. “Why are you shy? You six pack no more?”

Jungkook buries his head on the pillow, while you still proceed to poke him repetitiously with your fingers. “Stop it!” He groans yet you disregard it without any further thoughts.

“You’re nooo fun! Don’t be shy Kookie, even if you’re bloated, I—Ah!”

Jungkook growls at your constant bother, and spends no other second to pull you around to secure you around his grasp, bare chest just a breath away from yours.

“Are you seriously going to do this now? Don’t you know how crazy I was just to be around you for the night?”

At his deep stare prodding at the depth of your minds, you feel terribly heated. “What-what are you saying..”

“Are you seriously not seeing this, Y/N?” He slowly breathes. “It’s hard. To be around you again, and trying to hold myself from thinking about what could have happened with us.” Is he seriously addressing what happened with your relationship before?

“What?”

“You asked why I still use that keychain you gave? You really wonder why?” He asks in unpredicted determination that it terrifies you. “It’s because what we had meant that much. You, me, us—we were so happy. Or at least, I was.”

Like it’s not surprising enough, he is apparently not done. “Being with you, I’d never trade that for anything. I was doubtful it even happened—you left so quickly and I need a reminder that it did happen. We happened.”

Realizing that he indeed is going to unveil anything that happened in your past, you weakly push him away, trying to create a safe distance in between. But of course it’s no match with his unbelievable strength. “Jungkook...”

“I know I was a jerk, Y/N. I was childish, foolish, I was an idiot and I did not think about your feelings. I did not consider that you must’ve had a reason to leave the country, we were fighting like crazy, but—I would’ve understood if I had known the reason, you know? And I start to wonder about the what ifs, will everything be different with you and me?”

You look up to him gloomily, the pain in your chest is unbearable now that he is opening up the past. You remember everything like it was yesterday—how infatuated you were with each other, how beautiful was the time of being in such love with him, how heartbroken you were to find out you had to follow your mother after the divorce and go back to Seoul, and how instead of clearly stating why, you and Jungkook had a huge fight that literally lasts for years and until now.

The sadness momentarily engulfs you, that you instinctively respond to the sentence you’ve been repeating to yourself these whole time. “Well then, maybe we are just not meant to be.”

Jungkook glares at you, not liking a bit that you had to pull that card with him. “Don’t you fucking say that. What we had meant that much to me, and I loved you so much, Y/N. Why can’t we just—” You know it was a past tense, he said he loved you. But why does that hurt? Unexpectedly a thought crosses your mind, and you speak faster than you think.

“Jungkook, what happened with that girl?”

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “What girl?”

You look down, unable to see him right in his beautiful, doe eyes.“That finance girl—the one coming home with you when clearly taxi exists—what happened that night?”

Jungkook clears his throat, finally getting what you’re saying. “Ah, her. No, I had Jimin take her home that night.”

“Why?”

Jungkook bite his lips, it’s obvious that he is conflicted to answer. Ten seconds pass until he finally opens his voice to answer. “Because she was talking shit about you, and I don’t like it.”

“You what? Seriously?!” Are you hearing correctly? Jungkook seriously abandoned all his mighty ways with girls just because someone is talking shit about you? “It’s inevitable, and you know I don’t give a shit what she thinks about me. You don’t have to do that—I can’t believe this.”

“Y/N, don’t overthink it. Even if we are off to a rocky start and you might hate me, you’re still my friend. I won’t let anyone talk shit about my friends, especially you.”

The way he speaks, it is full of sincerity and succeeds in melting your whole being. The way he cares about you, you hate to admit that you still like it too much. You can’t believe that you are still this reactive for anything regarding him.

Another seconds of comfortable silence passes and somehow, you get comfortable just laying there with him. Even your heartbeat is too fast for your likings, yet the familiarity is what keeps you on spot. You start reminiscing those beautiful times when it’s just you and him, the feelings you get whenever he looks at you like this—it feels amazing.

“What happens to your mother? Is she okay now?” Jungkook carefully asks, like he is testing the water. His palms are soft on your back, featherly soothing it with his whole deliberation.

You hum with a faint nod. “Yup, she is recovering well. My aunt and grandma are also very helpful with the therapy, so...yes. How did you know, by the way?”

“Well, after you left I… I just got around with your friend. She actually explains your condition and.. then I try to dig around for you as well. I found your social media and really wanted to message you, but.. Yeah, I never got to.”

What Jungkook does not explain is how much time he spends on his phone, typing and retyping his words to send you, but never got the courage to. After knowing what happened to you and your family—especially about your mother’s illness, he felt overwhelmingly guilty beyond words. He took it on you, taking all his disappointment for the false information he made for himself, without thinking what you might have felt. He deserved it, he deserves everything that happened to him. Being miserable, chased with the guilt feeling rooting on his back, it might be just the right price he must pay for letting you down, disappointing you the way he did.

“I am sorry, Y/N. If I can take back what I said, I would. In a heartbeat.” He whispers and you understand how much he means it. At that time, it’s even difficult to think he is still the same Jungkook who hurted you back then. He changes so much, and hopefully for the better.

“What about you? Everything is good back in the states?” You ask, resting your palm on his bare arm and you can sense how Jungkook is tense, but instantly relaxes after your hand is safely settled. “Your family is still there?”

“Yup. Family is there, only me here.”

You hum, fidgeting your fingers resting on his arm. You really want to ask one question that has been running in your mind since four months ago.“If I ask why you moved to Seoul, would you answer honestly? Like.. I know what you said to your peer, about the great offer whatsoever, but… there must be something else, right? There’s literally no good reason why you should move to somewhere new and not even lots of people you know here..”

Jungkook gives you a thin smile. “I.. I just needed a fresh start. My life there, everything that’s been going on with my family, my friends were too… exhausting. I just—I wanted to see how far I could go on my own.”

“Something happened with your family?” You curiously asks, suddenly curious about his last statement. You know how ruthless his father was with his ambitions for his only son, directly lining him up for the best school in the states and already planning all his future for him, including entering one of the most sought up corporate as well.

“Yup. You know, I don’t hate his plans. What I dislike is the way he single-handedly does everything for me. It was so stressful.” Jungkook whispers, more to himself. “He wants me to go Investment Banking, but I don’t want that. He promises that he can make me in Forbes list, or whatever it was he said, but I don’t want that too.”

“So I planned on moving out of the city, but I don’t know where or how. Then the idea to go back to Seoul arised. Something happened—the decision time was quite short. What turns out to be a joke turns into a serious option. Having dual citizenship really eases my access back to Korea, and my grandparents and cousins are also here so.. Yeah. That’s about it.”

You nod in understanding, cause everything he said seems plausible. But one thing still doesn’t settle right. “But.. why my company? You know I’ve been working here for a while now, right? It’s like… too much of a coincidence it scares me.”

“If I say it’s all the grand plan of the universe, will you believe me?” He lightly jokes, eyes turning into crescent moons. You roll your eyes, but nevertheless giggle.

“I think that’s enough for now. You must be sleepy, Y/N. Go to sleep, in a few hours we still need to head back to the plant and directly go back to Seoul. Okay?”

You are expecting Jungkook to move away and leave you to sleep on the bed, but he is still there, holding you close, and you are not complaining at all. You are conscious that he is waiting for you to shoo him away, but you’d not even dare to do it. Cause being with him again, his large palm caressing your back, his breath tickling your face, everything seems like a very vague, far dream.

Another twenty minutes and you are already far too deep in slumber, Jungkook smiles at your sleeping face. You seem so at peace, and he is loving every second just laying here with you.

But the rest of work ain’t gonna fix itself, so he is still groaning, and wakes up and moves back to the sofa. Getting a canned coffee from his duffle bag, Jungkook quickly gulps an adequate amount until he is sure he won’t be sleeping for a while now. Trying to relax his strained neck, his finger moves back to the laptop in front of him.

“Let’s finish this once and for all, shall we?”

Due to staying up until three in the morning, Jungkook wakes up around nine to a cup of coffee in the kettle, along with a thank you note for finishing the rest of the work and promises you’d do anything he asks in return. You also permit yourself for going to the plant first. At that, a slight disappointment arises inside his chest and he doesn’t even know why. Jungkook heaves a deep breath, waking up and directly going straight to the shower.

Not even thirty minutes later, Jungkook is already parked on the plant, walking inside to the office side where he expects you will be. But he is met with disappointment, because you’re not there—not even your belongings are in sight.

At once, he feels terribly anxious. What happened to you? Where could you be? He tries dialing your number, but is met with no answer. When one of the supply chain teams he was talking to yesterday is walking beside him, he stops her right away. “Hey… Did you see Y/N? Was she here?”

“Y-yes. She is currently meeting with the team leader.” She mutters nervously, especially with Jungkook’s hardened stare prodding at her.

“Team leader? Where?”

“They’re meeting downstairs, probably in the cafe? I don’t really know..”

Finally self-conscious about how freaky he has been, Jungkook quickly mutters his thank you and descends to the elevator. Team leader? He doesn’t know why he feels terribly on the edge with the fact she is meeting the team leader. Probably due to something he heard yesterday…

“Y/N, you’re disappointed, right? The team leader is in the plant right now since there's a production problem. Tell me, you actually wanted to see him, right?”

That was that a fellow supply chain team was whispering to you during the discussion yesterday, which you answered with a lousy no. It did not settle right with him and now he is proven right. Who is this team leader, actually?

While in the elevator, he swiftly reaches for his work phone, trying to find a certain supply chain team leader. He squints his name, finding a name that certainly is not too strange if he thinks about it...

Kim Taehyung.. When did he hear this name before?

“I told you I can pick you up from the hotel and then we can get a proper breakfast. Why are we even meeting at this lousy, overpriced office cafe.” Taehyung fizzles with a deep pout while cutting the maple syrup pancake he ordered. You thinly smile, stirring the cup of chamomile tea on your grasp. It’s certainly strange to be in the exact situation with him as it was during your college days.

“It’s okay, I can’t stay long anyway. I just got a few things clarified from your team and I’ll be on my way back to the headquarters.”

“Really? That fast?” The pout on his lips deepens. “If I know you are going to leave so soon, we should’ve done something last night. I don’t even understand why you checked in a hotel instead of staying with me. It’s way cheaper and easier, you know?”

“Taehyung, you know I can’t do that…” You warn him, feeling cautious of the overly familiar sense between the two of you. It is dangerous, and you don’t want to ruin everything with you and him. Again. You will not foolishly repeat history.

Noticing how tense the air has become after your last sentence, he suddenly leans his palm over yours, eyes filled with regret. “Y/N, please don’t be like this. We are friends before anything else. What happened, it was in the past. I don’t want to lose you like this.”

The irony of hearing that too many times now literally put a painful grin in your lips. Why the fuck men keeps on saying that to you these days? Fucking annoying.

“I get it. We are friends. So please keep the line, Taehyung. I don’t want to lose you as a friend like this too.”

Realizing that not even a hint of mirth on your face, he realizes that he indeed has crossed the line. Taehyung immediately pulls his hand away, clasping it on his lap. “I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. But can we talk about work, now?” You sigh in distress. You know by the look of it, Taehyung has millions of words he wants to say, but you don’t want to hear it. You just had enough with all the drama.

Taehyung was your friend. Your first friend in Seoul. Your first friend in university. Your best friend. At that time, he helped you a lot with adapting to the new environment. He helped you with every part of your life, your study, your family, everything. He was the son your mother never had—you were that close to him. At the beginning, regardless of what people said that the both of you would end up being in love with each other, it was easy to disregard it with a simple laugh. Because Taehyung had a girlfriend back in his hometown. Because you were busy with working part-time to make a living, and love was your last priority.

4 years being in a platonic relationship was easy when it’s with him. You graduated together, sealed with a picture of Taehyung kissing your cheek in front of your alma mater hanging on your living room’s wall, you never knew something indeed has changed with you and him. Not until one night he confesses he wants to try something more serious with you, for you to seriously consider him as a boyfriend. And as easy as it was, you agreed. Because in all sincereness, you knew you’d do anything for him, and even if you wanted to be with someone, it just had to be him.

Having the same dream, both of you applied for the same company, and were accepted in the same team. You were working alongside him, and seriously could not be happier. Day by day, you start to gain feelings for him, and it was as easy as expected—because he was a very great guy, everything you wished him to be. Until one day, an email arrives in your personal inbox, filled with cursive words accusing you were the one Taehyung was cheating with. From his ex-girlfriend.

At that time, you directly confronted Taehyung for an explanation. And you found out that before graduation, he measly broke up with the girl through a freaking message and blocked every contact with her right after. And when you thought everything couldn't go worse, more digging led you to find out that he broke up only after you agreed to try something serious with him.

You were heartbroken. Even if you knew that in his defense, he thought that nothing was going to work with his ex-girlfriend for way before they broke up, but it did not justify anything that he did for her, or for you. You expected more of him, and were excessively disappointed. And even when you tried to forget it and move on like what it was before, you can’t shake the feeling of betrayal. That’s why you decided to call it off.

Taehyung was disappointed in your easy choice of way out, it was as clear that both of you are not on the same page with everything. Knowing that both of you couldn’t just disregard everything and keep on being professional at work, Taehyung directly applied after an opening for a plant team was announced—and in no time he left. Just like that.

“Hey, are you okay? Y/N, don’t be like this. I won’t talk about it again—let’s just talk about work. Okay?” Taehyung asks in worry at your deep and long silence. You dubiously nod, realizing that you cannot keep on being like this. That’s why you reach out for your laptop, intending to start on questions for your report.

“So, is your mother okay now?” Taehyung asks, and you know he is sincerely curious instead of making small talks. You kind of understand though, since your mother saw him nearly everyday as he was practically glued to your side.

“She is doing much better now. And she asked about you too, you know.”

Taehyung immediately smiles at that. “Yeah, of course I know. I was literally the best child she could ever have, since her daughter was busier than the president himself.”

You roll your eyes but still chuckle at the remembrance. “Shut up. I was working! And you know, you are the weird one. You kept on hanging out in my house, even without me. My aunt and grandma were literally in love with you.”

“Yeah, they were so kind and lovely. How could I not miss them.” Taehyung smiles more to himself. You can detect how sincere he is, and the guilt is slightly eating you up. If you weren’t such a selfish person, maybe everything would be different. Maybe you and him would be different.

“Then come again to my house. I’m still in my apartment, but I come back to my house once or twice each month. You know my family house is closer to the plant than the headquarters. You should come with me.”

You know that Taehyung seems to be at shock at your unexpected invites—as you too were shocked—but he instantly forms his signature boxy smile and nods in agreement before you could change your mind. “I would love to.”

Suddenly, a ruckus was heard directed from the door. You instinctively turn to the source of the sound, and unexpectedly find Jungkook marching to your side. You immediately stand from your seat, somehow anxious over the fact that you left him in the hotel with only a lousy note to excuse yourself. And probably, the fact that Taehyung is here too.

“Jungkook? Why are you here?”

Jungkook looks at you, then at Taehyung, then at you again, implicitly showing how bewildered he is. “Ah, it’s nothing. I just.. I just want to check where you are. You left so quick from the hotel, so—”

Taehyung immediately stands up from his seat, staring at you while squinting his eyes. “Hotel? He is staying with you, Y/N?! That’s dangerous, why are you—don’t tell me.. You’re not staying in the same room, right?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows scrunched, disliking the fact that Taehyung looks really bothered at the fact that you are staying with him. “So what if we are? Do you have a problem with that?”

You bite your lower lips in distress at both of the guys who look like they are ready to have the showdown of their lives. Fuck, why does this have to happen now?!

If you had any thoughts that Taehyung and Jungkook will be fighting because of you, you were surely an idiot—because right now it’s like you literally don't even exist. Both of those idiots are too busy playing phone games as teams while laughing like maniacs, while you are busy trying to finish all your work before having to rush to Seoul in an hour. Yes, you don’t really have anything left for them to work on, but… it feels difficult when you don’t even understand what they are doing with their damn phones.

“Taehyung, what the hell… you can’t fucking shoot! He was literally in front of you!” Jungkook groans at his phone, then Taehyung kicks him on the shin until the younger guy hiss in pain. You roll your eyes, fucking child they were.

“Jungkook, let’s go. We need to head back to Seoul.”

“Why?! There’s another hour! There’s no need to rush, you know.” Jungkook pleads, yet not even looking at you. Since Taehyung steals a glance at you, he immediately notices you are not in a mood for a joke. At all.

“Five minutes. This will be finished, okay? You can get ready, Y/N.” Taehyung replies calmly and even with deep resentment, you still comply and pack up your belongings.

Just another thirty seconds and Taehyung is cursing before throwing his phone back at the table. “Fuck, I’m dead.”

“That’s because you suck.” Jungkook mocks playfully, and Taehyung rolls his eyes at the childish remarks. Taehyung turns to you scrolling on your phone, looking as unbothered as ever—even if he knows how irritated you are right now. That’s probably on how much he understands you.

“Hey, Y/N. When can we meet your mom?”

Jungkook suddenly chokes on air at that unforeseen statement. What the fuck did he just hear? Why is Taehyung meeting your mother?

Only sending Jungkook weirded out stares, you turn to Taehyung. “I’m planning on going back tomorrow, as I haven’t gone back for weeks. You want to come with me?”

“Sure, that’d be great.” Taehyung nods, literally insensitive to Jungkook’s hazy state as more information comes in.

“Okay, should we meet directly at my mother’s?”

“No, I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning. I’m going back to Seoul tonight for a drink with Jimin, Yoongi and Hobi.”

“Ah, drunkard night. Must be fun.” You sarcastically joke and Taehyung is unable to deny as he giggles. Meanwhile on the other side Jungkook’s sight is literally shaking, probably to the current state he is in. Fucking pathetic is what he is.

“So, did you receive my flowers this morning?”

Your mouth and eyes are forming a full circle, remembering the gifts resting on your desk nearly every morning from last week. “That was you?!”

“Yes.” He giggles with reddening cheeks which literally sends flutters inside your chest. Not even once you thought Taehyung would be the one behind those thoughtful gifts. “I just want to give it to you. I hope it’s not a bother.”

“It’s not, but you shouldn’t have…” You suddenly feel guilty for not realizing it any sooner. Of course it’s him, who would be? But by the fact how bad your vague relationship ended nearly a year ago, it’s hard to imagine him being the one sending those.

“I want to! Don’t be like that, you know I’d do anything for you.”

Abruptly the sound of chair feet against the floor is heard as Jungkook stands up. He looks at you with an undeciphered smile, yet you literally can’t even look him straight in the eyes. God, you don’t want everything to be like this in the first place. “Let’s go, Y/N. I’m done.”

“Good. You should go, the traffic can be bad.” Taehyung nods in understanding, insensitive to Jungkook’s killing aura that you literally are on the edge of. He quickly walks out of the room without even a goodbye, and you nervously look back at Taehyung again.

“Taehyung, I’ll go now.”

In a blink, you find Taehyung is now hugging you closely inside his arms. It doesn’t last long though—and you literally don’t know what to feel about that. Your feelings are too complicated.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Be safe.”

You hum and directly walk out, not even seeing Jungkook right on the door. Slightly panicked, You walk outside to the elevator and he is there, hands buried in his pocket, his jaw clenched and eyes that literally screams fire. Everything literally makes you dizzy.

God, you don’t really know how you’d make it a few hours being with him...

And fuck were you right, because after thirty minutes settling inside his car on the way to Seoul, there’s no sound beside the radio between the two of you. The air was so tense like you can slice it and choke it down your throat, and probably it would be better rather than having to face Jungkook’s expected silence at you.

“Jungkook, it’s been half an hour. Are you going to ignore me like this?”

Jungkook sighs, but still not sparing you even a glance. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to talk to me.”

“Then talk. No one is stopping you.” He irks.

“But I want to talk to you without that scary face you are having right now.”

“Y/N, I don’t want to be like this. Please let me be angry in peace.” He finally looks at you with a hint of sadness on his eyes. “I don’t want to say anything I’d regret.”

Another five minutes of silence until you decide to speak out your mind. “Do you want to know what happened with me and Taehyung?” You carefully ask, he looks at you and lets out a sarcastic laugh.

“Why do you think I want to know that?”

At the bluntness, you feel completely ashamed of yourself for thinking and assuming way beyond you should. You duck your head in shame. “Sorry.”

Jungkook then realizes he has been too far with his angry game, and instantly reaches out to you in regret. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean that.”

But it’s too late because you are already crying and you don’t even know why. You’re usually not this much of a crybaby. “Fuck, you are really that self centered, you know? How can you say that? Is it too wrong for me to assume that whatever the fuck you are angry about is because of me and Taehyung?”

Jungkook locks his hand with you, and even if you are struggling to let your hands go, you are still too weak compared to him. “I’m sorry. I was angry at myself, Y/N. I was angry because I know you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve my nonsensical wrath. I was too selfish, I’m sorry.”

“You are.”

“I am.”

“You fucking are.”

“I am. So please accept my apology, hmm?”

Another thirty minutes of sulking, while Jungkook doesn't even say another word and only moves to massage through your hands. You know how apologetic he was, and he probably doesn’t mean it as well. And since you know that your wrath is already dissipating, you proceed with your story, not even caring whether Jungkook wants to listen or not.

So you go through everything. Every single detail about what happened with you and Taehyung. And it would be a lie to say that it doesn’t affect Jungkook even a little bit, because seeing your gleaming eyes and your voice telling every word about your relationship with him, Jungkook knows how important he is to you, and how much of the past you have together with him written on the pages of your lives. The relationship you have with him, lasts a whole four years and even more. How can he even consider to compete with that?

And one question does bother his mind. Do you still love him?

But no. He is not taking that risk. He doesn’t want to break down now. So he lets out a statement that somehow, even with the huge consideration, still succeeds in killing all will inside his body.

“He was really special, right?” Jungkook asks as a past tense.

You look down to your lap.

“Yes, he really is.”

You are already settling inside your blanket, ready to drift off to sleep yet your mind is wide awake. Everything is so overwhelming lately, you don’t even know what to do with yourself. Everything about Taehyung and Jungkook is more than confusing, and you really don’t like yourself right now.

“Argh!” Just when you are kicking the blanket off your legs, suddenly a loud knock is head on your front door. Who could it be? Is it Namjoon? But you are a bit uncertain it is him, since Namjoon does not usually come home this early on a Friday night. Damn it, you really need another activity other than waiting for him to come home like a sad sexless innkeeper.

Another boom on your door and you rush to open it. “Wait!”

But instead of the face of drunk Namjoon on your door, you find Jungkook’s instead. And it could be the last person you expect to be standing in front of your door right now, with a bottle of wine and a pack of cheese.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here?”

He shyly scratches his nape. “Ah, actually I was drinking with my cousin and his girlfriend so I steered clear to give them space and went to your apartment instead. Sorry to disturb you. Were you going to sleep?”

“Was going to, but I can’t sleep.” You answer truthfully, looking back at him. Jungkook is only wearing a black t-shirt with loose pants, his hair is messily tousled yet irritatingly still looks very breathtaking to you, his lips are eye-catchingly shimmering—a habit he adopted from you to deal with dry lips. You immediately feel self-conscious about what you were, an old night dress that doesn’t really do anything except making you feel comfy to sleep.

“Can I come in?” He vigilantly asks after a few minutes of odd silence. You instinctively scoot out of his way and let him walk inside your fortress.

“Your apartment is nice.” He compliments, resting the wine and cheese on the table to walk around the apartment, through the photos and embellishment. “Very cozy. And everything here screams you.”

“Thanks. High chance that’s the reason why Namjoon is very, very vigilant about bringing women back to this apartment, I think.” You joke and giggle, even though your head is filled with anxiety of the fact that Jungkook is visiting your apartment at ten pm. The last time he visited you around this time you couldn’t walk the next morning, so… yeah, you feel entitled to be nervous.

“Let me get the glasses and bottle opener.” You stutter, abruptly walking to your compartment. You let out a few deep breaths, trying to assemble your head straight once again. Fuck, why can’t you just speak like a normal person? It’s just Jungkook for god sake, and he’ll only be here for a drink—probably to celebrate the result of your presentation this evening to the boards. And then he’ll be gone, and you’ll go to sleep. Yet you somehow doubt it.

Walking back, you find Jungkook is settled on your couch, his eyes are looking at the bottle of wine on the table, yet you know those stares are too far and empty. It’s proven with how he is startled when you soundly occupy the seat beside him.

“You okay?”

He glances at you and his lips turn into a thin curve. “I am. Sorry, I was zooming out.”

“It’s fine, but sure you're okay?”

The smile widens until it shows his extraordinary bunny teeth, his palm hovering around your arm. “I am good, but can be better after a glass of this wine. Don’t worry about me now.”

In a short while, a glass of wine is already served on your grasp, while Jungkook is busy picking songs to play on your bluetooth speaker. Right when a smooth violin sound is heard, you reluctantly open up a conversation.

“Thank you.” You lower down your gaze to your fidgeting fingers. “For everything. You literally saved my ass from even getting denounced from my position. I still can’t believe everything could be so messed up.”

“I know it must have been difficult—with Junsu now investigated for supplier fraud.” He whispers slowly. You knew that all the untally reports and data are from Junsu, and now he is being investigated for fraud. It could have been worse, since in the beginning it was you whom the board suspected—since you are the one creating the report—but as what you and Jungkook has proved after going back to plant and going through all the documentation, the lead is now on Junsu.

“Hey. You don’t need to worry. If he’s not doing it, it would be proven.” Jungkook rests his palm over yours, squeezing it a little after seeing the contorts on your face. He is able to easily read how perturbed you are right now with the fact that your teammate is indeed in trouble.

“Yes, you’re right.” You nod after taking a few deep breaths, sipping the tasteful liquid down your throat to subside your anxiety. “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

But even still, Jungkook knows it is not effectively working. You are still in possession of the habit he found whenever something deeply bothers your mind. He identified it during your presentation this evening, or the night you ran away after your parents quarreled, even the day both of you were pugnaciously fighting and ended with separation a few years ago.

“Hey.” Jungkook envelopes your quivering fingers and pulls you closer to him, hand buried in your hair. “Please don’t worry. I don’t—I feel terrible when you’re sad.”

And then it was silence. All you can feel is Jungkook’s warmth all over your body, his arm around your shoulder, your head leaning on his shoulder, while your mind is in haze, wandering far, far away. Then you broke off the silence with something that has indeed been bothering you a lot.

“I don’t know since when, but I’m getting weaker every time.”

Jungkook hum as a notion for you to continue. “They say.. They say we should be stronger as we’re getting old. But it’s not for me.” You whisper weakly, holding your fingers together to stop it from quivering. “I hate it. I hate everyday I have to wake up, walking purposelessly. I hate feeling insecure. I hate not knowing where I should go in the long run. I am living, only for the day to pass by. And it’s killing me, that whenever something comes up in my way, I feel.. I feel weak. I’d dry my tears, then spend all the time doubting why I should go through all this pain, but I don’t know any other way.”

You feel every word comes out, Jungkook’s hold around you is tighter. And you’d be crazy not to lean back your every worry to him. “Hey, I understand what you feel. And I think it is a phase in life when we need to rethink everything and start chasing things that make us happy, and let go of the things that are holding us back. Life is about the journey, not a mere destination. No need to rush in anything, hmm?”

You reluctantly nod, agreeing to what he said. What’s inside your head now is only to make lots of money that can sustain your mother’s treatment and family’s lives, and that’s about it. And you love them to death, but you know you don’t want to do this in the long run. Even the sense of accomplishment doesn’t exactly make you happy anymore, and it’s mentally tiring as fuck to be doing something you know that is extracting you from everything you used to love about life. You’re practically a zombie now, with no sense of directions.

“Have you ever felt this way before? Like.. Helpless. And no matter how you think that you should do something about it, you can’t because you’re fucking scared?”

At that, Jungkook smiles and pecks the top of your head. His heart clenched at what you just said, cause that's exactly what he felt before he did something about it. “Yes. I felt that when I was in the States. I was helpless, visionless, and… day goes by only with me taking it for granted, letting myself think that I will never change and I should just suck it in. What they say, I have a great, wealthy family and all—I should be thankful. And that’s also what my father said to me.”

“At one point, I knew I felt humiliated. All I had was given to me, I just had to the bare minimum, and boom—I got it. I knew if I just went with it yet again, I’d go crazy. My father will put me at a gunpoint for what I gained, but I was scared since I was too comfortable.”

You look up to him, feeling the urge to give him comfort somehow. You do realize how contorted Jungkook’s face is now, he is literally so upset that it makes you feel horrible. “I had a fight with my father, as he forced me to move from the small startup I built with my friends to join his partner’s company in Investment Banking. When I rejected, he took a different approach and convinced my friend to cut me off the team. I confronted my father, and it was literally the greatest fight I had with him. Then the plan I purposelessly created became true. I fled to Korea.”

“So..” You whisper, looking down and clear your throat. “Are you still in contact with them?”

“My mother, yes. My father, no.”

“You must be missing them.” You whisper low while caressing his side. “But.. is it worth it? Are you happy now?”

He grins. “It’s worth it, of course—but not yet. But I’m getting there, I think.”

“The more I think about it, being happy is non-negotiable.” You whisper, more to yourself. Before it was just a far dream, but when Jungkook is here beside you to listen, it’s already a true-hearted promise. “And when I get that chance, I will surely prioritize it. At all cost.”

Another twenty minutes of silence just enjoying each other’s warmth, Jungkook’s whine is heard. “Can’t you hug me?”

You mindlessly glance at Jungkook who is now intensely staring you back. But seeing your noticeable confusion, he rolls his eyes and puts your arm around his waist. The blush is inevitable, you are literally holding him with no distance whatsoever. If you just straighten your head, your lips will be locking into his and you’ll lose your breath that easily. Your heart is too fast for your liking, but truth to be told, you wouldn’t trade this moment with him for anything else.

“Did you remember, we literally did this.” Jungkook chuckles, stroking your hair in somehow a very affectionate way. “That time, during the party and you force me to take you in after your parent’s fight. We were back to my room, and then we just hugged it out and you told me everything that happened.”

You nod with a distant smile, remembering how you literally came crying when Jungkook was in the middle of a beer pong with his friends, but he didn’t even wait another minute in complying to your request, seeing how hysterical you were. “Yes. I remembered how after we watched Bruce Almighty. It’s freaking nuts.”

“Let’s watch it again.” He giggles after refilling the glass for wine. “For old time sakes.”

The next five minutes you are scrolling down your netflix, Jungkook is contemplating whether he should ask the question that has been bothering his mind. The alcohol on his spine did help though—it is easier to just go with what he wants to say regardless of the rationality his mind would stop him.

“So tomorrow, you’d be with Taehyung? To your mother’s house?”

Indifferently nodding, you click on the movie. “My mother has been asking a lot about him, and I just reasoned that he moved away and was busy. I don’t want to let her know we’re not… close anymore.”

“Taehyung is actually that important, huh?” Jungkook asks, staring down to his drinks. The fact predictably settles strangely inside his chest, and it is fucking suffocating that he knows he has nothing and no one to blame but himself for feeling this way. “Understandable, though. Four years—I wouldn’t say I am shocked.”

“It is a long time indeed.”

“I hope I have someone like that too.” He stopped for a while, eyes faraway. “So at least I can tell you that I stopped thinking about you after you left.”

That statement literally freezes all your movement—to the point that you think it’s all just your drunk hallucination. “What are you talking about?”

“I never stopped… thinking about you.” He dubiously murmurs, eyes trailed down his lap. “After I broke up, I’m still thinking about us, what could have been, and… regret?”

“Regret?”

“I know this might sound creepy, but.. After you left, I tried finding your whereabouts and what you’re up to. And after knowing what you’ve been through, I felt tremendous regret for being such a jerk to us.”

Suddenly, just when you’re about to turn around as you’re desperate to see through his eyes, he clutches on you, latching on your back. “I lied when I said I loved you, because I am still in love with you, Y/N. I know it’s silly—we were only a month together, not even official—but I just can’t shake the feeling away. Especially after seeing you again, talking to you again now..”

“And if you asked my last night why I worked in your company—it’s because after arriving, I was in a phase where I don’t know what I should do. At least if I work with you, I can see you again, and apologize, but at first we were not in the best term. But even then, I was happy to see you and talk to you again.”

Then, at once, you feel the back of your shirt is soaked wet. Your heart clenched with pain and sadness at how pained Jungkook must have been all these times. “Y/N, I am very sorry…”

“You told me you’re staying! You said you’ll stay with your father, with me here.” Jungkook cried when you told him you needed to move back to Seoul with your mother after the divorce. “You said your mother is horrible, Y/N. You are not doing this for yourself. You can’t leave.”

“Fuck, don’t act like you care about me now, Jungkook. You know, I was always wondering why you suddenly introduced yourself that night, but it’s because of Alex, right? Because I rejected him—and you wanted to check for yourself!”

Jungkook slammed the table in front of him that made you flinch. “Don’t you dare to change the topic. You’ll leave your father, your life here and me, because of your horrible mother that always made you cry, feel alone and horrible. Why are you so naive, Y/N?!”

You were already crying by then, the frustration built up in your chest. You knew the reason was already on the tip of your tongue—your mother is terribly sick and needed you the most—but you couldn’t let it out. Jungkook didn’t deserve to know. “Don’t act like you know me. One month fucking and you already think you can read me like a book? Grow up.”

“One month.. Fucking?” Jungkook weakly whispered, the tears were building up on the corner of his eyes. “Fine. I don’t fucking care about you. Fuck off to wherever, I don’t care.”

“Sure. You only cared about me because of a fucking bet anyway, right?!” You cried, the grief and constant fear of the end approaching, when Jungkook walked away.

It was the end.

The memory of your separation with Jungkook flashes inside your mind like it was just yesterday. You remember every word, every feeling, every tear spent that day. You couldn’t even count how many times you wished everything was different.

Jungkook is crying on your back, and you force to turn and see him right through his eyes. “Apology accepted, Jungkook. I was at fault too. I should’ve been clearer. I should’ve said it better. I am sorry too..”

You wipe his tears with your two palms and hug him, your chest against his, your arm around his waist. “Please don’t cry, hmm?”

Another seconds of light sniffles until he opens his voice. “You know, this is better than what I expected. With how many years has passed in guilt, I could’ve been puking with tears.” He lightly jokes and you giggle. Fuck, how is he so cute now?

“By the way, just in case you forgot—I just said I love you. It still stands.” Jungkook thinly smiles, his fingers fixing the strands of your hair falling in front of your eyes. Your heart is beating unhealthily fast now. “I don’t need you to answer now, of course. I just… I just want you to know.”

“I know.” You whisper softly, leaning into your will to tiptoe and press your lips against his. Jungkook instinctively closes his eyes, feeling the wondrous taste of cherry chapstick and wine from your lips. The feeling is addictive and wondrous that he seriously thinks he is hallucinating right now.

You are about to release the kiss, when his firm palm secures on your back, pressing your waist against his, his lips are chasing yours to engage in another breath-taking kiss. You welcome it at once, arms settling around his neck. “Tell me if you want to stop.” He murmurs into the kiss, but you’re way into cloud nine to stop. You’d be insane to let him go now.

His palm travels south to grab the flesh off your ass and pushes his hips closer to yours—if it’s even possible. You can make out the hard-on he has nurtured for a while now, and instantly suck your breath. “You can feel it, babe? It’s because of you—being such a minx tonight. Are you really going to keep on teasing me like this?”

You grin, feeling the adrenaline rush with the realization that you have Jungkook here, beside you, whispering you all these dirty words to your ear. You shift to press butterfly kisses to his neck all the way to his collarbones—encouraged by the bemoan he is letting out, intending to suck marks on his sun kissed skin until he gruffly pushes you away.

“Who gave you rights to mark me now, huh kitten?” He throatily purrs, swiftly scooping you into his arms, both your legs are crutched around his waist with his painful erection knocking on your clothed entrance. You spend no more second to entangle your lips with his again, his tongue gladly seeking warmth from yours—and god, he feels amazingly sweet, the taste of wine vivid on your taste bud. Fuck, he seriously can’t drive you crazier than this.

“Don’t want Namjoon to see my dry cum on your sofa, right babe?” Jungkook hoarsely wheezes, and those words literally screws all leftover sanity inside of you. Fuck, you missed this so much. Drowned in lust and desperate for friction, you find yourself continuously rubbing your core to his erection, until he paces you for himself. “Stop. I didn’t bring extra pants with me, babe—don’t wanna go home with pants wet with cum now.”

Jungkook hurriedly pushes your bedroom doors and throws you away on bed. “Y/N. Tell me to stop now, or I’ll never get a grip until I can finally have you.”

Instead of giving an answer, you inch closer until your fingers are in contact with his pants’ band. “You need help with that?” You brave yourself to whisper, gazing innocently right to his lust-darken eyes.

“Fuck, you’ll be the death of me.” He gratefully bemoans, as your finger moves to detached his pants and boxer to the ground—his erection immediately springs like never before. It is such a pretty, thick and long dick that your saliva literally pools. You instantly get on your knees, closing with eagerness to have a taste until he stops your advancement by pushing you to the bed.

“Not today, kitten. Maybe tomorrow—I need to have you now or I’ll go nuts.”

You pout, stubbornly moving to give a good caress on the length, satisfied with how Jungkook’s pupil immediately dilates at your ministry. “Are you sure, baby? I can do anything for you, though. My throat is ready for you to choke on.”

“Stop it. I want to be inside you now.” He hastily howls, so close to creaming your palm now that he needs to stop you. Jungkook’s mind is on cloud nine with your warm fingers around his girth, but he realizes he needs to have his dick pushed inside your cunt now, not even your hand or mouth can make it up. “Take off that fucking dress.” He orders.

“Yes, anything for you, sir.” You literally do not know what kind of courage is seeping through your vein, but seeing how affected he is literally made you ecstatic to tease him more. You briskly moves the satin night dress to your head and throws it across the room, baring all your lower body area.

“No underwear? Fuck, kitten, you better not act this carelessly when your roommate is here.” Jungkook breathily irks, enjoying the view of your almost naked body against him, yet spends no more second to detach your bra until your breasts are dangling freely. He immediately sucks a breath at the amazing sight.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Jungkook throatily whispers, more to himself before he engulfs both your breasts with his palm. He moves to pinch your hardened pebbles, feeling high with your moans that is literally a green light inside his mind that you are indeed enjoying his act. He swiftly buries your right nipple inside his mouth, giving it a light suck, flicking it with his skillful tongue which turns you to a moaning mess. You close your eyes, feeling the tension inside your body build up while cradling his face closer to you, your fingers pulling the hair on his scalp. You do not even realize his left hand has left your breast, now moving to circle your bare clit, and you instantly mewl in pleasure.

“What are you so wet for, kitten? Tell me.” He breathily hisses, moving to coat his two fingers with your remnants, dips it inside his mouth and licks it dry. Your pupil dilates at such a dirty act, but still Jungkook is unhappy with your lack of response, he hits your throbbing cunt. “Use your fucking tongue to answer.”

You instantly mewl to reply, albeit stuttering when you feel his forefinger finally buries inside of you. “Of course you, sir. I am wet because of you.”

Jungkook grins in satisfaction, before he wastes no mercy and buries three fingers inside you, stretching you deliciously until you whimper in satisfaction. “So freaking wet, I bet I can slide right in. Are you going to let anyone do this to you, kitten? Hmm?”

“No, sir...” You groggily answer, your head is soaked in all kinds of lust.

“Louder! Let your fucking neighbors hear it.” Jungkook growls, pushing his digits further inside until you claw on his clothed shoulder. Fuck him for still being in his shirt—you’d do anything to mark him now.

“No, sir. Only you can make me like this…”

He sinisterly laughs, pleased with your easy compliance. “You better not be lying, kitten. Don’t you let anyone do this to you, especially fucking Kim Taehyung.”

Your eyebrows immediately scrunched at the name, but it could probably be the last thing you can contemplate now that his fingers are still beautifully moving in and out of your wet cunt. “I will, I fucking will. But get this fucking shirt off and fuck me, sir—I need to feel you bare against me.”

As he is about to enter you, he suddenly freezes. “Do you have a condom here?” He breathily asks, realize that he did not take even one with him—as fucking you was literally the last possibility he could think of before. God, does he really need to stop now?

“I don’t have a condom—but I am on the pill and safe, I swear.” You whisper, the ache on your core starting to cloud your head and better judgement. Fuck, Jungkook better be fast or you’ll be dead by then.

“Me too. I tested myself back in the States, and haven’t been sleeping with anyone since.”

“Really? How can?” You unconsciously ask, seriously flabbergasted with the fact that Jungkook hasn't fucked anyone after he moved into the city. The Jungkook you knew was so much of a god of stamina—he literally lasted five rounds with you before and still managed to have an erection after, when you can’t even feel your legs. He is that crazy for sex.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’ll tell you all about it later, but I need to fuck you raw now or I’ll go insane.” He hurriedly answers, instantly throws his shirt away as his whole body is bare against yours. Jungkook reaches for his dick, as his fingers move to give it a few strokes. He is now coating it with your remnants by hitting your entrance lightly with his dick. Even with such action you are already a moaning mess, as you bit your lips in anticipation.

Yet when the head is about to dip inside you, you reach for the bed sheet, clenching the fabric harshly. You haven’t been sleeping around for months now, you’re sure it’s going to hurt a bit—especially with that excessive size of his.

“How are you so freaking big? Fuck, don’t go too rough on me, Jungkook..” You softly whisper, and Jungkook instantly nods. No matter how crazy and a true dom he is, he would not hurt or go against your consent—that’s just how much he loves and respects you.

Even with the heavy urge to fuck you senseless like he wants to, he surely takes his whole joyful time in making love. His length pushing inside you, stretching you wondrously that the pain turns into pleasure in no time. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks your nipple to keep you on the edge. “Damn, you are wonderful. I can’t believe I was able to live those years without this taste.”

“Fuck, Jungkook.” You moan, biting your lips as you nearly can’t hold yourself from screaming. How can sex with Jungkook be this mindblowing? You had one night stands previously with other person, but sex with him is like on another level—that’s probably what feelings can do to sex. “Faster, now. Don’t hesitate.”

At the invitation, the worries that he’s going to hurt you dissolve as he fastens and follow his own pace, his dick fucking you senseless with ragged breath. God, how he wishes he can do this every second of the day, buried inside you, looking at your pleasured face drowned in lust and pleasure, your beautiful moans and fingers scratching his back. He’d trade anything to have you like this again.

“Fuck, kitten, how are you so tight? I am fucking close.” Jungkook groans as he chases his high, sensing your walls are now clenching him tightly. He inches closer to engage you in another kiss, his tongue pushing inside you while his digits are circling your clit. You claw his back, letting out all sound with no holds back as the pleasures are too much now—the orgasm building up inside you, and Jungkook definitely can sense it coming. “Cum now, kitten.”

While Jungkook and you are still engaged in another heated kiss, your high finally comes as you cum on his dick. “Good girl.” He whispers with one last kiss before he chases his own, and not even another second he pulls out, squirting his cum all over your stomach.

You frown, looking at the liquid on your stomach. “Damn it, you should’ve cum inside me. I’m on the pill anyway.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at your remarks, yet he is grinning from ear to ear. He lays beside you, engaging you in another soft, slow kiss as you close your eyes, your palms settled on the side of his face. “I love you.” He whispers after letting go, his beautiful doe eyes literally shining with the creases that is apparent whenever he is smiling wide. It seeps warmth to your heart.

The reply for his confession is already at your tongue, but Jungkook quickly scoots away to stand on the floor. You bit your lips, disliking the fact that he is too far from your reach, no matter how fast he’ll be back. You need him here, to ensure that everything is not just a wet dream of yours. “Come back, don’t leave me.” You whine, and Jungkook giggles breathily.

“Let’s get you all cleaned up, clingy McGee. I’ll get you a wet towel.”

Another minute and Jungkook is back with what he promised, as he closes beside you and wipes his own cum off your stomach.

“What a waste. You should’ve cum in my tongue and let me swallow it all.” You mutter half joking half seriously while yawning, as your eyes follow his every movement. He sends you a warning glare, unhappy with your constant teasing.

“If you don’t want me to pin you against the matters now and fuck you against the wall until you’re screaming for mercy, stop it.”

“Geez, sooo grumpy.” You giggle, scooting closer to him as in chase of heat after he settles beside you, draping the blanket to cover both your bodies.

“I’ll take you up on that tomorrow, though.” He lightly giggles, and you’re the one now rolling your eyes on him. He envelopes you around his arm, pressing another kiss on your forehead before caressing your head to sleep—just the way he remembers would instantly send you to slumber.

But no matter how tired you already are, your body are still high on adrenaline due to the great sex you just had—you just cant seems to sleep. Not when Jungkook is here holding you close, looking at you like that with evident love in his eyes. And suddenly an idea pops inside your head, until you smirk in mischief.

“Why are you smiling like that? I told you to sleep.” He asks cautiously. You shrug to pretend innocence, before scooting closer until your bare waist is glued on his own, slightly rubbing it against his semi-hard dick. Wow, the self control on this guy is impressive for not initiating a second round.

Jungkook immediately curses at your teasing, yet the pleasure in his face is unmissed. “Fuck, what are you—“

“I’m sweating, Jungkook. I want to take a shower.” You whine seductively, your fingers stray to the lower parts of his body now, caressing his semi. Jungkook’s eyes are now unmistakably dark, as you realize that you might just awaken the true dom in Jungkook.

“I was literally being civil since you got to go back home with fucking Taehyung tomorrow, but damn—I’ll fuck you so bad anyone know who fucked you tonight, huh? I’ll make sure you can’t walk straight tomorrow, kitten.” He smirks, and that literally sends jitters right to your core in deep anticipation. You missed it—the feeling of Jungkook mercilessly fucking you like there’s no tomorrow.

Jungkook instantly scoops you out of bed in one movement, the blanket falls on the floor. Your legs are linked around his waist, your throbbing entrance pressed against his erection as you rub it for relief. His mouth aggressively attacking yours for domination, as his firm legs walk towards your shower.

“Let’s get my kitten thoroughly cleaned, okay?” Jungkook teasingly moans to your ear, his thumbs are now pinching your hardened nipples. Your whole body shivers.

Thus begin the best sex you ever have in your whole life.

You wake up groggily with the sunshine seeping through your window. What happened with you, why are you feeling the biting pain all over your body? The memory of last night instantly hits you like an explosion.

You had sex with Jungkook—which lasted three freaking rounds.

And fuck wasn’t he holding back. He literally was just like you remembered, a true dom that sent your knees weak, pleasuring you like nobody could. He took care of your body like it's the only thing on his mind—and you would be lying if you say you didn’t enjoy his true dom self released, marking you all over your body with love bites, forcing you to plead for his mercy and leaving you breathless nearly all the time.

But he is not here now.

You gaze to the cold side of your bed where Jungkook slept last night. It must be long since he left, only with a small note on your bedside that ensures you that what happened last night isn’t just a mere dream.

Hi, thanks for last night. I had to leave, something urgent came up. See you around.

Fuck, if that wasn’t such a lousy note to start the day with. Such a fool you are to expect the sex matters to you as much as it is to him.

Regardless of the ticked off feeling you had for Jungkook, you scoot off your bed, trying to use both your throbbing legs to stand up. The pain instantly shoots up that you instantly bite your lips, limping your way out of the door. Fuck Jungkook, you loathe that fucker so much now.

“Whoa whoa—slow down babe.” Namjoon instantly shouts after you’re carelessly limping out of the door closer to him. “Someone got a good dicked down yesterday.” He teases, and you sent him an annoyed expression.

“Why are you so grumpy? You finally had sex after months, you should be glowing.” Namjoon giggles while stirring his coffee. You flip him off, settling to sit on the sofa. “You want some coffee?”

“Yes, thank you.” You mutter. “What time did you come back home?”

“Around two, maybe? Wasn’t really in my best state of mind, so that could be wrong too. What’s up?”

He walks closer to you, offering a cup of coffee with scent that succeeds in relaxing your mind a bit. “I did not meet the guy, you don’t have to worry. Who was it anyway? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Around two? He left before two? “Did you check up on me when you come?” You ask dubiously, knowing Namjoon has always checked up on you when he arrives in the apartment.

“Yes, there was no one. I saw you sleeping, and went to my room right after.”

“Fuck—he really left that early?!” You hiss, not liking the fact that he left you just later after you sleep with such a lousy note that clearly indicates nothing—he probably uses the same note for all his previous one night stands.

“But.. You know, it could be weird for strangers to stay the night after sex—“

“But he’s not a stranger.” You vengefully replied, the hurt evident in your tone. “It’s Jungkook. Jungkook slept with me yesterday and fled right after with a fucking lousy ‘thanks for last night’ note.”

“Jungkook? Jeon Jungkook?” He asks with goggling eyes. He seriously thought he misheard your words. “But you hated him.”

“It was complicated. We.. We had a past together. And these few days just rekindled those feelings, and.. I thought he was really serious about it.” You whispers, the tears are welling in the corner of your eyes. “I tried thinking positively, that he really had something to do, but he left so quickly and also with this note.. got me thinking. Was it too fast? What if everything is just in my head, and he’s only after sex?”

Namjoon looks at the yellow note on your grasp, taking it to read the messy handwriting for himself. Yet no matter how hard he thinks about it, he understands your doubt. It was indeed a messy, hurried note that he indeed heard people often leave their one night stand.

“It’s still uncertain. Just talk to him, okay?” Namjoon asks, his palm resting on your knees and giving it a light squeeze. “There might be something you don’t know yet.”

You sigh, crumpling the note and throwing it carelessly. “I fucking hate him.”

“Hey, by the way you left your phone here, and Taehyung called this morning.” He informs, but you know that expression he wears—something is troubling his mind.

“What is that face?” You instantly point. “You always use that expression when you have something to say.”

“You know me so well.” Namjoon grins, eyes trained on the coffee on his grasp. “I had a drink with Taehyung and others yesterday. And yeah, after the drink, I just think that he.. He might be still in love with you.”

“What do you mean?” Your eyebrows scrunched, severely confused.

“That’s all I can say. If you want to know, better ask the man himself. You’re meeting him soon, right?” Namjoon reminds you, and you abruptly stand up—still holding back the pain, after being reminded that Taehyung shall be here in no time.

“And, Y/N?”

You halt your steps, looking back to the guy. “What?”

“Just.. don’t hesitate. Go with your heart.” Namjoon advises. Your throat constricts. Follow your heart? You don’t even understand what that idiot wants. Your heart is a drunk fool, doesn’t really know what’s good for itself, and always foolishly seeks something that is not going to happen. Why should you go with it?

He is apparently not done, and clears his throat and points to his own neck. “And maybe, put some concealer on? Don’t want your mother to have a heart attack seeing those marks on your neck.”

And that’s how in forty minutes, you ended up wearing navy green turtleneck and long skinny jeans—thankfully the chilly weather does support your outfits—descending your apartment building after Taehyung said he’s already parked in front. You were distinctly nervous, going back to your family home with Taehyung after the longest time. Just being around him sends you on your edge, and you could only wish nothing is going to mess everything up.

The first thing you see when the elevator is opened is Taehyung’s face that you abruptly take a step back in shock. His face immediately lightens up. “Good morning. You’re here.”

“Yes. I thought I’ll see you in your car?”

“Sure, I just thought it would be great to see your apartment.” Taehyung answers, a soft smile appearing on his lips. Namjoon’s sentences instantly pass through your head as a warning. You clear your throat.

“Namjoon is upstairs, though...”

“So? Is that a problem for me to see your apartment?” He mischievously teases, pulling you to exit the apartment. “What were you thinking, huh?”

“Nothing!” You abruptly answer, silently letting Taehyung hold your palm against his, no matter how conflicted it makes you feel.

“By the way, are you okay, babe?” Taehyung asks in concern after arriving at the car, reminding you to put on your seatbelt. Your eyebrow raises.

“I think so. Why?”

“Did you fall or anything? You are.. Kind of limping.” He questions in deep concern, looking straight to your eyes. At once, your breath hastens with anxiety. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes! Of course—I fell in the shower yesterday, and got hurt a bit, yeah..” You tightly mutter. At least it was not a hundred person lie.

Gosh, how you wish you can punch that annoying motherfucker now…

“Taehyung! You’re here!”

You glare at your beaming mother slightly skipping to welcome both of you from her tended yard, crushing Taehyung in a big hug. “Mom, I’m right here too. And last time I checked, I’m the one who is related by blood to you.”

“Don’t be such a party pooper, Y/N.” Taehyung giggles, affectionately hugging back your mother. “I’m sorry mom, Y/N is soooo grumpy this morning. She may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“It’s just I haven’t seen you in so long. How is my precious son doing?!” Your mother beams, instantly welcoming Taehyung inside the house, leaving you alone to pick up the fruits and cake you brought from Seoul. But not even long, the scowl changes into a contented smile on your lips.

You are grateful that nothing really changes, especially with Taehyung. He is still the one person you can depend the most in this whole world.

Suddenly, among your wandering thoughts your phone rings. You hurriedly pick up, not even checking the caller. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Y/N?” You notice the change of language, and silently checks the number. Abroad numbers? Suspicious.

“Yes, this is she.” You doubtfully answer.

“Hello, This is Jess. I’m here in Seoul today, can we meet?”

Jess? Who is Jess? You can’t literally remember anyone called Jess beside… your friend back in the States. You were not even remotely close, so there’s no way it could be her.

“Sorry, but which Jess?”

She instantly clears her throat, probably embarrassed at the possibility of you not remembering. “We went to the same high school back in the States, before your parents divorced and you moved to Korea.”

So that’s the correct Jess then. But that still doesn’t explain why she is calling you right now, especially with that unnecessary mention of your parent’s divorce. “Ah, I remember now. But why? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes, I am in Seoul now. I have to talk to you about something, I promise it won’t take a while.”

“But why? We haven’t talked in years, what could possibly be the reason why we should meet?” You annoyedly point out, not even caring that you have turned hostile to her. You really don’t want to waste any time, especially with Taehyung now at the door, signing you to come in.

“It’s about Jungkook.” She curtly answers, and your heart literally skips a beat at the name. What’s with Jungkook? Your heart clenches with the fear rising in your chest.

“His family and I are here now to take him back to the States, so I have to let you know something. Let’s meet.”

It is not long until you and Jess are already sitting in front of each other inside a cafe near your family home. You left Taehyung at home with your family, and promised them you’ll be back in no time.

“You want to order something? My treat.” The girl says after ordering her drinks. You shake your head, not even enjoying the seconds uselessy passed with her. You are just desperate to get it over with and head home.

She shakes her head. “I didn’t remember you being this uptight, Y/N. Loosen up, will you?”

“Well, you don’t know, probably because we weren’t even that close?” You shoot and sigh. “Can we just go straight to the point? My mother is waiting at home.”

Jess hums. “And Kim Taehyung too?”

You glare at her, the uneasiness rising in your head. You have no idea why she should know anything about Taehyung. “What the—”

“I’ll cut to the chase. Jungkook is his family’s only son. His father already had his future all planned out, but then one day he ran away to work in a country far away, with a job that probably pays a quarter from what he could have back home.” She halts after the waitress serves her drinks. “And then we finds out that he is here because of you, a fucking ex—who was just a mere fuck buddies. So we need you to think straight and stop seeing him.”

You stare at her for a full minute until you break in laughter. “What’s funny?” She irks.

“Fuck, this is all just like a midday telenovela, that’s what.” You giggle, still finding mirth in her previous statement. You clear your throat, and send her an not amused look. “Let me fill you in. I don’t fucking care. He’s here because himself, you’re thinking too highly of that one month we fucked. And who are you to say that anyway? You’re his mother or what?”

Jess condescendingly smirks in triumph. “I am his girlfriend. We have been dating all through college before he moved here. I have all right to tell cockroaches like you to scoot off. Besides, you already have Kim, no? Are you really that thirsty for lots of men?”

That statement literally catches you off guard. Girlfriend? Jungkook never mentions anything about a girlfriend. He literally said that he hadn’t been with anyone and that he thought about you most of the time. Was it all… just a lie?

It was like a knock to your chest, but you won’t let it show. “Then you should know better that if you dated all through college, there is no way he could move here because of me.” You calmly explain, the anger and sadness of betrayal building up in your chest. It feels hard to even breathe, and you feel so stupid for believing his words could be true—now that you rewind literally made no sense whatsoever. Jungkook is not with anyone for years, only because of you? Fuck, that’s literally nonsensical.

“And if you’re his girlfriend, you should know he’s here because he is depressed—feeling the inadequacy and constant restriction in doing whatever he wants to do. If you’re his girlfriend, you should support whatever he wants to do for his happiness, instead of teaming up with his father that literally treated him like a fucking robot.” You spit out in dismay, the tears are welling up in your eyes. You hated the fact that you’ve foolishly put your trust on someone undeserving, yet again.

It’s clear now that you have left the girl speechless, and you quickly stomp out of the cafe inside of Taehyung’s car you borrowed. You quickly drive out, with tears freely running on your cheeks, your heart turns hollow and vacant now that you know.

You are a fucking idiot, that’s what.

It’s already eleven pm, you are now resting in your room in the family home. Your mother successfully tricked you into staying the night, but Taehyung said he needed to go back to his apartment because he doesn’t have any shirt to change to—denying your mother’s forward offer to let him stay the night with you in your room. The level of trust your mother has in Taehyung is seriously ridiculous—but still he said he’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick you up, as he needed to work in the headquarters for a full week next week.

‘Are you okay?’ Taehyung queried when he was about to drive back, hand clasped against yours. ‘You seemed a little bit upset after that meeting.’

Even then, you could only answer him with a vague shrug, a hug and you cried. Taehyung didn’t ask any further, patting your back calmly while whispering calming words to your ear. He understood you need your space more than anything, and you were thankful.

But now, flipping on your bed for hours hasn’t drifted you to dreamland yet, especially with a head filled with Jungkook and overwhelming queries on how he’s doing right now. And you hate yourself for still caring—it’s freaking Jungkook, who left you after he had enough, who easily lied to you just to sleep with you. Why can’t you just ditch him like that?

Maybe you’re really in love. A total dumbass.

Suddenly, your phone rings. Unknown numbers. Call with Jess did traumatize you, but not taking it will leave you close to no wink of sleep, so you do.

“Hello?” You warily questions. There are around ten seconds before the familiar sigh is heard on the other side of the call.

“Y/N, this is Jungkook.” The familiar voice is close to whispers, and all you can hear is how tired he sounds. Something definitely stirs inside of you. “Are you in your mother’s home? I’ll be there in ten. Can we talk?”

You know it. You know it very, very well. He might as well done it over the phone—it may hurt less. “Is it urgent? Can’t.. can’t we just do it over the phone?”

“No, we need to talk directly. It doesn’t feel right doing it on the phone.”

Fuck, it’s really is. Jungkook is breaking up with you—with no relationships to begin with. The tears are clamming up on your eyes, and you can only hope you’re strong enough to pretend everything’s okay. Cause you hate to show him how weak you are for him.

And not even ten minutes, Jungkook messages you he’s already waiting outside. You walk outside your room to see that your whole house is already dark—your family must have gone to sleep. Good, so they don’t have to see you bawling your eyes out.

When you are at your porch, you can already make out his silhouette from the car. His hand is on the wheel, other hands are resting on his temples—the lines of his face are harsh and cold. Taking a deep breath, you give yourself one last warning and enter his car.

“What is it?” You curtly ask, and Jungkook looks at you with a weirded out stare.

“Why are you angry?”

You roll your eyes, arms folded on your chest. “Because I know clearly why you are here. Jess explicitly told me about everything—you don’t need to waste both of our times, going all the way here just because you want to break up with me. That too if anything of what we did was more than something to you.”

Jungkook stares at you like you’re spluttering nonsense, which you actually are and it leaves you disconcerted. “What—what the fuck are you saying now?”

You scowl. “No need to lie. I know exactly what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna need to move back, right? And you’ll leave your whole life here—” The tears choke you up. “You’ll leave me here. But let me say it, do whatever, Jungkook. It will be just like before, right? It’s not like we've never done this before.”

If you’re really doing it to hurt him, you succeed. Because the pain is literally insufferable. “Is that what we mean to you? Are you going to just let everything like this like not a shit happened to us?”

“You’re funny, Jungkook. There’s never been an ‘us’, you know it.” You vex with a sarcastic grin. “There’s never been us. Because you lied to me, fuck me and stood me up like nothing happened, right?”

“That’s not true.” He firmly said. “I left first because of my father, Y/N. He told me he’s in town. I need to meet him, why can’t you understand?!”

“I know that! But you expected me to believe all you said when Jess literally came all the way from the States to tell me to fuck off and that you’re in a relationship with her all through college.” Jungkook freezes on his spot, but you’re not done. “Is that wrong, Jungkook? Tell me she lied and I’ll grovel at your feet for forgiveness.”

At Jungkook’s silence, you can feel a stingy pang inside your chest. It was true, he lied. “So she was right? You lied to me—telling me there was no one, only to sleep with me?”

“It’s not true, Y/N. Jess was just… someone I affiliated with. We were not in a relationship.” He hurriedly tries to explain, hand scratching his hair in frustration. “And why does it matter anyway? It’s all in the past, it doesn’t matter now. I only care about you, you know it.”

“It matters! Because you told me there was no one. Because you lied to me, Jungkook. Why can’t you see how wrong it is?”

“She was just someone I fucked with all through college. Even if she thought there was something else, there was none. I set it straight to her, but she never understands.” He softly whispers now. “I regretted it, Y/N. But you can’t hold it against me. I had no feelings for her.”

You know his words should’ve brought reassurance, but the words clearly strike something inside you—a remembrance of pain. You croak. “You know what, that’s exactly what Taehyung told me that time.”

“What-what’s that fucker doing here in our talk?” His voice raises in displease at your mention of another man during your serious talk. “So was everything about Taehyung? All of this—even when we’re fighting, you’re thinking about him. It was all about him all along.”

“No, but the exact thing happened again. You were being dishonest to me. You hurt me, Jungkook.” You whisper softly, cheeks already flowing with tears that it literally throws him off at how fragile you look. “I can’t… I can’t shake that feeling. How I felt when she said everything, like she owned you, like… like she has rights for you. Like I was someone you played with behind her. It was exactly.. that.”

“Hey, I’m sorry you had to feel that way.” Jungkook whispers and pulls you closer inside his arm, heart clenched in guilt at your weak sob. He hates himself for doing that to you—to let you enter the maze of problems he has tried to escape from a while now. You don’t deserve that. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I know I should’ve been clearer about everything.”

Ten minutes of crying your concern and heart out inside his arms before you open your voice. “So, she was right? Are you leaving, then?”

He dubiously hums. “I have to, otherwise my father will never stop trying to get me back. I’ll try finishing whatever I can there, and come back right after.” He whispers, palms buried on your hair. “I promise it won’t take long. Can you wait for me?”

You look at Jungkook's hopeful eyes and the ‘yes’ is already at your tongue—when something awakens you. You cannot do that to yourself. You cannot let yourself be miserable, waiting for him again like a broken clock. You cannot gamble your way to mend everything when he leaves, not when there’s any possibility like he’ll leave you again like he did. You’re not that strong.

“I can’t.” You shortly reply, and at the unexpected answer, Jungkook is visibly aggrieved.

“Why? Why can’t you? I’ll be back soon, Y/N—Why do you give up on us that easily?” Jungkook is peeved at your easy surrender. He loves you, he is willing to work it out for you, and it weakens him to see you’re not on board to fight for any feelings you both have for each other. “I know you, Y/N. I know me. We had something together. Please, don’t give up on us.”

“I can’t, because I don’t want to let you hurt me again, Jungkook. Happy?” You shouts, carrying the long pain you have carried throughout your days. “I hate myself for letting myself trust and ending up getting hurt. If I wait for you, I’ll always feel insecure, Jungkook. I’ll always wonder if you’re going back, if you have found someone else, if we’re just going to hurt each other. Because that's what people did to me—to my mother, to us… I can’t.”

Jungkook shudders at the mention of your family. Did he hear it wrong? “Did you mean… your father? But I thought… I thought—”

“Yes.” The hurt multiplies, palpable on your face. “My father lied to me. He is a manipulative jerk who never gave a shit about his family, and made my mother the bad guy in front of me. He didn’t care at all—my mother was struggling with cancer and he didn’t give a shit and still went with the divorce. I just knew after my mother went to find me, beg me to come with her after the divorce.”

The regret at his old self, patronizing you without knowing the truth hits him like a brick. “God, Y/N, I’m sorry. I was—”

“I know. It was such a stressful time, and the pain my mother had to endure because of him—I hated him so much I could die, Jungkook. He hurt me, he hurt us. And he is now living well with his new family, the one he cheated with before. It is not fucking fair.”

Jungkook moves forward to hold you close, his heart wrenching in pain to imagine how agonizing it must have been for you and your mother. “I’m sorry for everything. I was a stupid jerk who thought I knew everything, you had every rights to hate me. I am very, very sorry, Y/N.”

“That’s why I have trust issues. I know very well that one bad apple doesn’t define everything, but it made me more cautious above anything. I can’t afford being weak now, I can’t gamble on the future whether what we had now is gonna last. I don’t want to be naive.”

No matter how he wants to refute your words, he can’t. Because Jungkook understands where you’re coming from, and how traumatizing it must have been. He’d be insensitive to shrug your concern away. “I understand. But I won’t ask for more, Y/N..”

“I’ll be back before December ends.” Jungkook determinedly claims, holding you closer that his nose point is touching yours, warm palms against the side of your face which sends your whole being to instant chaos. His eyes are like a deep sea, that you’re willing to fall in and never out, and all you want to do is hold him close, kiss him and never let go.

“And when we finally meet, I’ll let you know that I will still be loving you then and I’m going to fight for us. No matter what happened.”

After having breakfast with both your mother, grandma and Taehyung, you hug the goodbyes. You regret it though, the days passed so quickly and you don’t really have much time to completely be in the moment with your family since your mind is wandering far. If your mother knows, she doesn’t comment—but you know that soft gaze she endows, she is worried for you.

“Goodbye, son! Do visit us regularly, okay?” Your mother beams, hugging Taehyung. She glances at you walking to your room to grab your purse and continues. “I’m very worried for her. Can you please make sure she’s okay?”

“What happened?” Taehyung asks in concern. He did notice something changed after you met your friend yesterday, but it’s definitely getting prominent this morning.

“Someone came to our house yesterday, and spent some time in the car. After, she walks out crying.” Your mother frets, squeezing Taehyung’s palm. “I’m worried. Can you keep an eye on her?”

“Of course I will.” Taehyung smiles in a comforting manner, tapping on your mother’s palm. “You can count on me, mom.”

Your mother instantly smiles, as she understands by heart she really can count on Taehyung for you. “Thank you. Get going now!” She gestures to walk you out to Taehyung’s car.

Sitting inside the car, your eyes are trained out the window, minds wandering far to last night’s encounter with Jungkook. He said he’ll be back, and you shouldn’t believe him—you told him you won’t, but deep inside you never stopped wishing his words are true. You foolishly believe him with all your heart.

“Hey.”

Taehyung’s call abruptly takes you off your wandering thoughts, shifting your gaze at him. You clear your throat. “Yes? Sorry, I was daydreaming for a while there.”

“I think you’ve been daydreaming all the time we’re here.”

He said the words softly and didn’t mean anything, yet it instantly hits you with guilt. “I’m sorry, I was—”

“Was it about Jungkook?”

“What?” Your eyes widened, heart literally skips a beat. Are you really that obvious?

Taehyung stares at you for a few seconds, then focusing back on the street. “It’s just a lucky guess. And seeing how shocked you were just now, it must be true.”

“It is.” You look down to your lap. “I’m sorry for concerning you.”

“What are you sorry about.” Taehyung chuckles, tapping the top of your head. “He is finally here. The one you’ve been thinking about all through college, your first love, your first heartbreak is here. You should be happy.”

It’s true though. You can’t even count how many people you have pushed away only because you’re thinking about Jungkook. In the period where everyone is just desperate to find love or mere sex, you are not even remotely close to it. You weren’t with anyone all through college. All because you’re thinking about how it feels right to be with Jungkook, how in love you actually were and how foolish it could be to let go of one thing that could have been true just because you were too deep in emotion.

And Taehyung was one of the people that lived through that phase of shutting any possibility of love. He couldn’t even forget how his college friends, or even strangers asking him why are you so closed off, refusing any advancement anyone did. But Taehyung shrugged it away, because he knew how you still couldn’t forget your first love. He didn’t even know how or why you are still able to hold into that love for such a long time—not until he fell for you himself.

When he asked you to be his girlfriend a year ago and you said yes, he really thought you were ready to move on. Finally. And maybe you were, before he messed up everything and it’s already too late. Because Jungkook is back, and how can he compare to the first love, which vaguely ended and still left a sour taste of regret in your heart.

When he saw Jungkook that morning, he knew. He knew that he didn’t stand a chance. Because it’s apparent how head over heels he is still with you, like you are with him. And he just needs to accept it.

“Go with your heart, Y/N.” Taehyung croaks, holding the deep urge inside him forcing him to stop being such goody two shoes. Taehyung is still in love with you. Madly. He loves you for quite a long time now, and he wanted to be yours. But how can he be selfish when you are clearly struggling like this?

“Do you know? The biggest regret I have is to let you go.”

You glance at Taehyung, as something stirs inside your heart with him addressing your past. “I regret not making everything clear. I regret not fighting for us. I regret not being honest with you, because I was selfish and too much of a coward.”

“I still love you.” Taehyung whispers, the grip on the wheel tightened. You stare at him, speechless while Namjoon’s past words suddenly run through your mind. “But it’s okay. Because above anything, I want you to be happy. Seeing you being miserable makes me extremely sad, Y/N. Please, just go with your heart and be happy.”

Another minute passed in silence, before you mutter gloomily. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to say..”

“Let me guide you, then.” Taehyung smiles, his palm resting over yours and gives it a light squeeze. “Thank you for loving me, Taehyung. I know we’ll get through this, as best friends. And you are right, I’ll go with my heart and try to take risk in love, because even though it might hurt me, at the very least I followed my heart instead of my fear.”

His words literally punch you in the gut, because now that he’s the one saying it to you, it never felt clearer. You indeed have been following your fear, discarding how you truly feel for anything or anyone. You love Jungkook, but being afraid has shielded you from following what you really want to do.

Another ten minutes before you give his hand a light squeeze. “You know, I never thought you'd be that much of a bigger person.” You lightly joke, in which Taehyung responds with a snort. “You were not usually like this. Where’s my selfish and self-righteous bestie at?!”

“Well, don’t consider I’m letting you go just yet.” He shrugs jokingly, rolling his eyes. You heartily laugh at that. “Besides, life is still long, right? Don’t count it on me giving up just yet, Y/N. I might just steal your heart away, and that lucky bastard Jungkook should be nervous.” You gaze at Taehyung who is looking back at you with his signature boxy smile, and your heart lightens. God, how lucky you are to have such a great companion like him.

“You know what? He really should.”

7 Weeks Later…

Jungkook is looking at the watch on his wrist. It’s already 4PM in his time and 8AM in Seoul. You must be preparing for work, he thinks to himself, unconsciously smiling. That’s what he does whenever it concerns you. He’ll be adored at the thoughts of you walking hastily inside the office, throwing all your belongings on your desk before you begin working. He always finds it endearing. And then, he’ll miss you. He will miss looking at you, talking and bantering with you again.

But not today, since he’ll be over in Seoul in no time.

All seven weeks back in the States were dreadful, but he managed. He knew that it was longer than expected, but he managed to steal the time to find you again. Because in all sincereness, all that he can think of is you.

blueberry_25 : good thursday morning! Soo happy gonna end the week soon! [16:05]

blueberry_25 : what are you doing this weekend? Do you wanna meet? :) [16:06]

It’s funny how he gives you the space you deserve, yet still manages to talk to you again nearly everyday. All because of the pen pal event held by the company which he has resigned from. He needed to take a long break, and had to resign after. The company did give him an option if he wanted to return back, but with the current condition, he is not really sure whether he can return for good.

But at least he got some time to see you again. Which is good.

91snowball : hi, blue, hope you have a great day today too! :) [16:07]

91snowball : we’re going to meet tomorrow. The christmas event, remember? [16:07]

blueberry_25 : I nearly forgot! So hectic today since that finance guy resigned and caused such chaos again. Thanks for the reminder though lol [16:08]

Jungkook literally winces, as you haven’t stopped complaining about the sudden resignation of the finance guy that is literally him regarding your overwhelming work caused by a certain prematurely resigning self-centered jerk. Even one time he mistakenly apologized for it. Nevertheless, it was all fun and games before he thought about how to break it up to you. That he is a snowball, the person you’ve been chatting with anonymously for months, and nearly everyday now. Talking to you were the highlights of his days, and he couldn’t stop. Even for a day.

And he is in the dark on how to break the truth to you.

The soft chimes of his phone takes him away from the busy thoughts. Jungkook looks down and finds another message from you. The heartfelt smile instinctively appears on his lips.

blueberry_25 : did you get me anything? ;) Can I set my expectations high? [16:10]

91snowball : haha hope so. See you tomorrow, okay? [16:10]

The announcement for passengers to onboard is heard, so Jungkook raises from his seat to join the queue. An anonymous feeling shot through his chest, a heartfelt smile formed on his lips. He is going back. Finally. He finally is going to see you again and it feels terribly unreal.

Right when another message arrives, and at once the corners of his mouth instantly flattens.

Mom : Son,don’t forget. I’ll pick you up next week. [16:12]

“Bye, Y/N, Hoseok!”

Another person from your team has escaped the dreaded office, yet you and Hoseok are still not showing any sign of moving from your respective places. There are still a few action items on your list that need to be checked off by the night if you want to have a peaceful weekend, and you are determined to have them finished asap.

Because you are going to meet Snowball tomorrow. And you’re going to spend your whole weekend with him too.

“Y/N, why are you not going home?” Hoseok asks in worry while glancing at your screen. “This report needs to be submitted on Monday. You can finish it tomorrow.”

“But tomorrow we are having that Christmas event. I want to finish this before then.” You answer nonchalantly, still typing agilely on your keyboard. Seeing how befuddled Hoseok looks, you roll your eyes. “That pen pal secret santa event. Remember?”

Hoseok instantly turns silent at the mention of the event. God, how could he forget? Tomorrow the office’s Christmas party will be held, along with the first meeting of the anonymous pen pal buddies. Jimin and his team have everything planned out, in which the pair would give a gift inside a box which includes a card to describe and help find who is their pen pal.

It was indeed a brilliant idea. But maybe not to the fact that Jungkook is literally your pen pal, and the fact that you are unaware of how close he has been even after he left.

It doesn’t even need an exquisite skill to guess that something happened with Jungkook and you, especially discernible after he left. You turn greatly silent, and he found you zooming out more than you’d like to admit, and you’re shine dimmed. It was incredibly saddening for nearly everyone, but it’s not for long since you found someone to take your minds off things—who turns out to be your pen pal, or ironically, Jungkook.

And Hoseok has multiple times warned Jungkook that it’s not going to work. You would be furious to find out—who would adore the fact that someone is indeed lying?

“So… your partner will be coming?” Hoseok hesitatingly asks, looking down his lap. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. I know he’ll be coming.” You shift your gaze to Hoseok and beam. “He’ll give me a present and I’ll finally meet him.”

Hoseok nods, but something urges him to continue. “But… what if he won’t come?”

Your eyebrows scrunched. “What do you mean?”

He clears his throat. “Maybe? You know, he might have something to do tomorrow, urgently. Or maybe he is not that invested in this like you are? Because let’s be real here, Y/N, you are too deep into this.”

You send a thriving punch to his shoulder that Hoseok immediately winces and. “What is that for?!”

“For being such a source of negativity. Seriously, Hoseok, you used to be sooo positive. Stop hanging out too much with Yoongi.”

“I’m not kidding, Y/N.” Hoseok sternly gazes at you. “Don’t put your hopes too high. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

You smile at him, not even an ounce of doubt seen on your face. “Snowball won’t disappoint me, Hoseok. He’s not like Jungkook.”

At such ironic statements, Hoseok immediately turns speechless—something inside him literally withers. God, how he wishes he could cease you from hurting...

It’s already eight pm, and Jungkook is still settling inside his car in front of the building where the Christmas Event is held. His right hand is tapping lightly on the wheel, inside his left grasp is a midnight green colored box in which is the present he prepared for you.

The event will be starting soon, but he’s still waiting for a cue from Yoongi—the only person who knew about his arrival in Korea—when he should be entering. Attract attention is the last he would want, especially when too many people or the bosses are around, as he is obviously not invited now that he has resigned.

Yet needless to say, it is not the main issue concerning his mind. He couldn’t even care less if he is going to be kicked out of the event, as long as he can see you and be with you again. But how can he hope so? All kinds of scenarios are running through his mind about how you would react to him being Snowball, your anonymous pen pal in which you have told him about nearly everything. And it's foolish to even think that you would be fine about him catfishing you—hopefully it’s not the correct term for that.

At first, it was just a mere idea during work, Jimin was joking about how he would make you as his anonymous pen pal after he was informed of a small piece about your past with Jungkook. And Jungkook was not going to think about it more, but he was desperate. He wanted to talk to you again without any resentment—but it could probably be the least thing you want to do in this lifetime, so he begged Jimin to arrange it for him. Even if it was merely anonymous.

But now it could probably be the best yet the worst thing that he had done to you. You are the thing that keeps him sane after being locked again in his hometown, but he is now gambling with the relationship you both have. He is literally lying to you again—just like the worst fight happened in front of your house porch. God, everything is literally a mess.

Suddenly, the sound of an incoming call disrupts his trainwreck thoughts. Min Yoongi.

“Jungkook, the event will be conducted in half an hour, you need to submit your present. The bosses are gone. Come.” Yoongi calmly informs, conflicting to the thoughts on Jungkook’s mind. The fear and insecurity instantly strikes him.

“I don’t know whether I should do this, I mean—”

“Look at your chat.”

Yoongi has an authority tone on his voice that Jungkook immediately obeys, opening his chat. Yoongi has sent a picture of you, lively talking with your friends. You look exquisite, wearing a red ball gown dress that falls on your knee, the blush is apparent on your cheek. You simply look.. stunning.

“She has waited and prepared all this shit because she believed her idiot, fucking selfish so-called pen pal is here. Seriously, you’re not doing any good by pretending again. Just come, Jungkook.”

At once, it was like a knock to his heart at how selfish and undeserving he is to you. It’s okay if you’re angry, he’ll grovel at your feet. And if you don’t want to see him again? Well, he just needs to wait again. He waited for five years to see you again—what is another waiting, right?

Heaving a deep breath, Jungkook finally steps out of his car. He cannot lie that he is excessively frightened, the image of you crying and pushing him away is vivid and it stings. But he promised you he’ll be back before the year ends, and he’ll live up to that promise.

Walking out of the lift, the first person he sees is Jimin, sitting behind the front table from the ballroom. He is now receiving gifts from various people, which Jungkook assumes must be for the pen pal event. He walks closer, until Jimin can finally see him, and somehow, upon meeting your face, he literally falls a few steps back, face bleached like he just saw a ghost.

“J-jungkook?”

Jungkook smiles and rests the gift on the table. “Hi, Jimin. This is my gift for her.”

“B-b-but how—why? How can you’re here? I thought—I thought you’re moving and—”

“Yes. But I’m here now.” Jungkook thinly smiles. “May I know what I should do next?”

“Y-yes. So, the pair will be divided into two rooms, and when we cue, we will let you find each other, with the stuff and card inside the gift.” The panic is still evident on his face, but Jungkook just shrugs it away. Jimin can be overreacting at times.

“May I enter my room now?”

Jimin instantly nods as an answer, and points to the room on his right. “You can enter the room on the right. But Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares at Jimin, waiting for the continuation. “Good luck there. And I’m sorry.” He clears his throat, and points to the room. “You go now.”

Jungkook doesn’t even know if that’s really something for Jimin to be sorry about, but he literally couldn’t care less when he’s just minutes away from meeting you. “Thanks.”

Inside the room, there are a few people who are high chance waiting for the pen pal committee as well. The moment he enters, he can see a few confused eyes staring at him, but the moment he finds Namjoon, he can finally breathe. Namjoon is not too different though, staring at him with weirded out eyes.

“Jungkook, you’re here?” He blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes. “Am I drinking too much champagne or are you really here?”

“I am.” He chuckles. “I came back to fulfill a promise, I guess.”

“Y/N? Because she’s your pen pal, right?” Jungkook nods slowly. “God, do you know there’s a very high chance that she’ll kick your ass for all this bamboozling shit?”

“Affirmatively.” Jungkook grins, yet his fingers are nervously fidgeting, a habit he inhibited since a month ago. “But, I just… I am trying, you know?”

Namjoon nods and taps on Jungkook’s back to relay comfort. “She loves you too. Even if she’s furious, she’ll come around.” Jungkook can only hope so.

At that time, the committees enter with a trolly of boxes that must be the pen pal gift. One of them hands Namjoon and Jungkook’s respective gifts. “You can start finding your pen pal now.”

Jungkook looks down on the blue box on his grasp, and he flinches with palms turning clammy from cold sweat, heartbeat too fast he could even hear it with his ear. Step by step, he enters the other room. Scanning the room, his sight instantly falls to you, smiling while looking down to the familiar box on your grasp. Your wavy hair settles perfectly on your shoulder, a serene smile formed on your lips.

‘I can’t, because I don’t want to let you hurt me again, Jungkook. Happy? I hate myself for letting myself trust and ending up getting hurt.’

Just when he is about to take another step closer to you, the remembrance of that night hits him straight in the gut. He is hurting you. Again. And you’ll leave. You’ll never want to see him again.

The weight on his shoulders triple at the petrifying scenario running through his mind, and Jungkook instinctively takes a step back and runs outside the room. No, he can’t do this. He is too scared. He thought he is ready to take every chance, but it turns out not much has changed, because he’s still the coward he was nearly five years ago.

Jungkook walks to the hotel balcony, heaving several deep breaths. The sky is exceptionally beautiful, the full moon is wandering in the sky and it invokes a memory within his mind.

About the night you cried in front of him for the first time.

“Are you afraid?” Jungkook whispered that night, gazing down at you. The loud blazing sound of bass was faintly heard, but both of you are sitting near the gate, looking out to the sky. You stare at him and shift back your empty gaze to the full moon. You despise that no matter how strenuous you tried to suppress the pain, it kept on rising back and numbs all your feelings.

“I am not afraid of you.” You weakly replied, the exhaustion vivid on your tone.

“I know.” Jungkook followed your gaze. “Are you afraid you’ll cry in front of me?”

You gazed at him, eyes filled with sadness and animosity. “What?”

“It’s literally a party inside. And you’ve been looking like you’re in a freaking funeral—well, beside the drinking part.” You were surprised with how susceptible he was. The day had indeed been counted as one of the worst days of your life, and it’s not even over yet. And you were fucking tired of crying, hence you decided to numb everything and wasted all your energy to alcohol instead. So at least you won’t remember again.

“Just cry.” He tranquilly whispers, his palm settles on the side of your face. “Those tears—I’ll catch them for you.”

And you just did.

Looking down to his lap, he is looking at the box on his grasp from you. Huffing a deep breath, he moves to open the box with not much thoughts—yet his mind abruptly turns blank after seeing the items resting in the box.

What… are these?

“Are you afraid?”

Turning on his heel, Jungkook’s strained gaze fell on the eyes he thought would never see this up close again. It’s you. You are literally just a distance away in front of him right now, that he might need to pinch himself to ensure everything is not a piece of his hallucination.

“What?”

“Because you look like you’re about to cry.” You whisper calmly, arms folded on your chest. “Are you that afraid to meet me again?”

Jungkook is now staring at you, face conflicted. He is at haze on everything that just unfolded. “How did you—how did you know?”

“You think I won’t find out that you’re snowball?” You took a step closer, glancing at the items on the box. A basketball keychain and a frame of photo taken five years ago, the two of you side by side with a shy smile on both your faces. It was something he never thought would receive from his pen pal, even in his wildest dream.

“You think I won’t recognize you?”

Jungkook stutters. “What do you—”

“I know everything.” You cut him right away, face still expressionless. “I know it. You are snowball, I know you bribed Jimin into arranging, I know you are hiding by talking to me anonymously with snowball as an identity—everything. I know it’s you who I’m talking to these past seven weeks.”

A good five minutes passed before Jungkook could even let out a sound, let alone a coherent statement.

“Are you… angry at me?”

“Yes.” You respond, not even missing a hint of hesitation in your tone. The physical pain is even more evident now. “I hate you. I hate you for fabricating lies about us. When I found out for the first time that it was you, I was furious. I felt played, like an idiot. I told you, I hate when someone lies to me. Do you remember?”

“I know.”

Another minutes spent staring each other, then you sigh in tiredness. “But more than anything, I missed you.” You continue, your tone falters as your eyes are far away, the sudden weakness stirs something inside his chest. “I miss you like crazy, and I took it. I took the lies, if it means I can talk to you again. Like an idiot, I didn’t think straight.”

Jungkook stares at you, waiting for you to continue. “I know I decided not to wait for you, but it was foolish. Waiting for you—that’s not an option I could make. And no matter how much I decided I need to stop thinking about you, I can’t. I am an idiot, who—”

At once, Jungkook is now hugging you close, not even a breath between the two of you. The feelings are familiar, yet so strange since the butterflies are knocking your stomach with nerves now. Jungkook is here. He is finally here, hugging you close. It’s literally the dream you’ve been having for a while now.

“I came back.”

You hum.

“For you. For the promise I made us.”

You hum.

“I am sorry. For everything. I shouldn’t have lied. I shouldn’t have bribed Jimin.”

You hum.

Jungkook lets you go, anxious at the possibility of you lying and suppress all your feelings just for the sake of him. “Can you say something? Anything. Please be mad at me, or anything, because you have the rights to. But please don’t be silent, I beg you.”

“I love you.”

Those three words are most absolutely not the word he is expecting. He confusedly searches your eyes. “If you said I can say anything, I want to say that for the first time. I love you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stares at you, still in disbelief of the possibility of his hearing deceiving him. “What?”

“I love you. And I want to fight for us.” You whisper, squeezing his palm against yours. “ I am sorry too. I let my emotion and fear take over, and I hurt you. I am in this just like you are, so don’t blame yourself alone, hmm?”

“I love you too.” Jungkook responds, as he pulls you close by the nape, crashing his lips on yours and taking your breath away. “I love you more than anything. I love you more than anyone. I am sorry, I am very sorry.”

You hold him closer by the waist, minutes passed just to feel how warm he is against you, the familiar scent seeps inside your brain that disoriented your whole being. As he lightly bites your lower lips and instinctively forces a moan out of you, you shivers. Jungkook swiftly takes the chance to push through and leaves a beautiful taste on your tongue. Your fingers run through his hair, feeling the soft hair falls between your fingers. Giving it a light tug, you are more than satisfied to find Jungkook is just as affected as you by the way he bemoans.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jungkook creakily whispers, not even hiding the lust and desire lacing his tone and not even a second thought is spent, you nod. You are desperate to have him again like the way it was before, to leave nothing between the two of you, to feel him close and beg for him to take you again, pleasuring you like no one could.

“By the way, you look beautiful tonight.” He smiles, squeezing your waist with his palm. “You always do, but maybe the fact that I haven’t seen you for seven weeks, now that you are wearing this beautiful dress—It’s just.. breathtaking.”

You roll your eyes, but are unable to suppress the beam on your lips. “You better keep that mindset, okay? Don’t you fucking dare say I look better naked later.”

Jungkook grins at that. “You know what? You just get me.”

“You know, I need to tell you this, but… I actually threatened Jimin to confirm that you are indeed snowball. And I have to say that it wasn’t pretty, and I wasn’t proud of it. We haven’t really been talking with each other after that..”

“What?!” Jungkook literally shouts, the imagination of you threatening Jimin with a knife forms on his head. No wonder he looks like a ghost after seeing him attend the event. “What did you do to the poor guy?!”

“Well, I may or may not… have caught him getting a blowjob from his teammate in the office one time.. And yup, you know the rest.” You wince, and hold out your palm together. “I swear, I have no intention to let anyone know, it was just a self defense method—”

“You just told me, you know.”

You pout, tugging on his blazer. “But you’re my Jungkook! It’s different.”

Jungkook sighs, but it’s foolish to lie that the possession terms you used before his name literally sends him into a blushing mess. He is unable to resist to steal a kiss from you once again. The moment your lips touching, you are left speechless—and wanting more that you still chase for his lips even after he pulls himself. You frown, folding your arms in indignation that you caught him grinning after. “Looks like someone is missing me too much, huh?”

“I hate you.” You obnoxiously spit.

“No, you love me.”

“Yes, but I’m starting to regret it now.”

Jungkook giggles, caressing the side of your pouty face. God, how is it possible to be luring and cute at the same time? Being with you is all kinds of emotions lured into one, and it left him wanting for more and more.

“I feel like I didn’t say this enough, but I love you, Y/N. I really, really do.” Jungkook whispers, as his finger pushes strands of hair to behind your ear, and you give him a smile which brightens his whole world. The moment he looks at you like this, he know he is sold. You’re his only sole chance, nothing and no one else.

“We’ll fight for each other, right?” Jungkook whispers and you stare at him back with a smile, and unlike before, this time you reply with a determined nod. One thing you know is that you’ll do anything to make the best out of each other—you’ll finally fight for what you feel instead of following your fear. Because you love Jungkook, and he feels the same way.

Oh, how he would trade everything to have this moment last forever...

===========================

I should have write this better lol was too distracted with life and kim soo hyun that its 🅱razy. I wish I have will to edit this too, tho

If you wonder if there’s an epilogue, there is! kindly follow me and slide into my ask box! stay safe, all! 💜💌

UPDATE : Find the Epilogue HERE !

1K notes · View notes

angellesword · 3 years

Text

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (08)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It's simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if...Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

"A future without you is a world without color."

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Series: CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 9

warnings: unrealistic court happenings i am not a lawyer ok mention of physical abuse, drinking problems, child trauma, mental illness, and infidelity. I want to build a whole new world in this fic that’s why i also didn’t research about divorce trials I’m sorry. OC is kind of annoying/disappointing in this chapter (?) or not (?) Young Choi Soobin of TXT is the kid in this chapter’s moodboard

Jeongguk was the ex-boyfriend Red was talking about.

You figured this out when you were at Seokjin's party. Frankly, the way your soulmate was looking at Red was already a giveaway, but then you had to confirm it yourself.

The only way to do that was to either confront Jeongguk or your assistant.

You chose neither and it was because you were afraid to hear what they would or wouldn't say. This being said, you resorted to your last option.

"Come on..." It was hard to sit on the floor when you're wearing a damn long dress, but this didn't stop you from rummaging through Red's personal things.

It's the middle of the night. You left Jeongguk at your apartment right after he reached his high.

You just wanted to teach him a lesson for being a brat. He was always so rude to you and you honestly thought that he was just in denial—that soon enough, he would realize that you two were really destined to be together.

Apparently, that wasn't going to happen.

You went to your office at one in the morning just to find something that would verify your speculation. You got what you wanted. The photograph of Jeongguk kissing your assistant confirmed it.

Your tears fell.

You didn't know why you felt betrayed. It wasn't like they wanted this. They hadn't done anything wrong. Fate was just cruel. Why didn't you meet Jeongguk first? You couldn't blame him for falling in love with Red—she was sweet, beautiful, and smart. Anyone would definitely like her, so you had no choice but to swallow the lump in your throat and accept this.

You just had to pretend like everything was alright.

It wasn't.

The divorce trial was near and there were still so many things you had to fix. Work was seriously draining the hell out of you and it wasn't like Jeongguk was helping. He was actually adding up to the stress you were feeling.

Jeongguk was giving you the silent treatment and no—it wasn't the type of silence you were used to. Before Seokjin's party, your soulmate was quiet, but not really. He would occasionally huff to let you know that he was annoyed at you. He would also stamp his feet and slam the door just to spite you.

You didn't mind. You knew he was just being a brat; however, things were different now.

After the night of Seokjin's party, Jeongguk changed. He was eerily silent, always avoiding eye contact with you.

You tried talking to him. Regrettably, you were only greeted by stillness.

"You want pizza, Gukkie?"

Nothing.

"Have you watched the latest episode of Start-up?"

Still nothing.

"Did you have a good sleep?"

Nope. Nothing. Nada.

"Wanna make out on the couch?"

Jeongguk's head jolted to your direction. His eyes were wide, cheeks turning crimson because of your bold statement.

"Hey!" You giggled, clearly happy with his reaction. "You finally looked at me!"

Jeongguk shook his head and then he went straight to his room.

You were unbelievable.

You pouted your lips, giving up. You had a feeling that he would come around.

He did. Days later, Jeongguk surprised you when he stood right in front of the door of your apartment. He was blocking your way out.

"Gukkie, I'm going to be late." You sighed. He reminded you of Miri, your cat that's always trying to stop you from leaving.

"You can't leave." His jaw clenched.

You let out a breath once again.

"Don't do this please. Mr. Kim needs me,"

The trial was happening today. You needed to run down a few things with your client before you go to the court room.

"You just don't get it, do you?" Jeongguk folded his arms over his chest.

You stared at him.

"I don't get what?" It was hard to keep your composure when the thing you had been trying to avoid for so long was being rubbed in your face. You knew exactly what Jeongguk was implying.

"—that you want me to drop this case because you want Red all to yourself?"

Jeongguk froze. What was the point of staying silent when you always knew what was running inside his head?

You just always knew.

"You don't have to pretend that you care about Soobin's well-being. I have enough people doing just that," you slightly pushed Jeongguk to the side so that you could pass through the door.

Ah, people.

They're all the same, always trying to conceal their self-interest by pretending that they care for others.

You liked Jeongguk—actually; you were convinced you loved him. He was your soulmate after all, but sometimes love wasn't enough to just give into what he wanted.

This wasn't about your relationship. This was about Soobin's welfare. He's just a child. You were a lawyer who swore an oath to protect the oppressed and incapable. You were their voice.

It sounded cheesy, but this was the type of person you aspired to be. The world was already dark, it wouldn't hurt to be someone's light.

Jeongguk didn't understand your reasons. It was evident when he showed up in court to watch you defend Kim Seokjin.

At first, you thought your eyes were failing you. Was he really here? Was he really the man at the back of the room wearing that big hoodie?

It was him. The familiar scowl on his face said so. Jeongguk was the only person who looked at you like you had offended his whole family.

"All rise!"

You turned to your client upon hearing the bailiff's demand.

"It's going to be alright," assured by you.

Seokjin smiled. He was looking at Red instead of you. He needed the comfort of his soulmate.

Red grinned back. She wasn't worried. She trusted you. She was certain you would succeed. Soobin wasn't going to be taken away from his father.

The first few minutes of the trial went smooth. You had your story straight and with the way the judge was nodding; you instantly knew she was in favor of your side.

Unfortunately, things started to go ugly during the cross-examination of witnesses.

Jung Hoseok was the first one to take the stand. He was the expert witness.

"You are the marriage counselor of Mr. and Mrs. Kim for months now, right?"

"Yes." Hoseok answered the opposing counsel. It was weird seeing him this serious. Your friend was always grinning, but you told him to try to keep a neutral face. This way, the judge and the jury wouldn't know if he was caught off guard by the question of the other side's attorney.

"Mr. Jung, is it true that marriage counselors rarely suggest divorce to their clients?"

"Depends—" Hoseok bit his tongue. You told him to simply answer yes or no. Be responsive to the question and never explain. "I mean, yes."

"And yet here we are..." Ms. Choi, the opposing attorney, shrugged her shoulders.

"Objection!" You stood up. "Relevance?"

You didn't understand why Ms. Choi asked that question to Hoseok when she's just shrugging it off now.

"Sustained." The judge felt the same way.

Ms. Choi raised her hand as if surrendering.

"My bad. I'm just curious, you know? If Mr. Jung is indeed an effective counselor, then why did he suggest that the Kim couple push through the divorce?"

Ms. Choi was furrowing her brow at Hoseok.

"Isn't that true, Counselor Jung? You told Mrs. Kim that it's better to end her marriage with Mr. Kim?"

"Yes." The expert witness answered truthfully.

The opposing side's attorney smiled mockingly.

"It's because you feared for Mrs. Kim's safety, right?"

"What?" Jung Hoseok was lost.

"Come on, Mr. Jung you know exactly what I am talking about! You found out that Mr. Kim is an alcoholic and you are scared that he might harm Mrs. Kim and Soobin, right?" Ms. Choi pointed at the five year old kid who was busy coloring books in the far corner of the room. He was with Seokjin's mother.

"Objection, Your Honor! Compound question!" You glared at Ms. Choi.

"Sustained." The judge clenched her jaw. "Ms. Choi, separate your questions. You are misleading the jury..."

Ms. Choi was flustered, yet she still held her head high. She knew she had the upper hand here.

"Is Mr. Kim alcoholic, Mr. Jung?" She tried again.

Hoseok cleared his throat.

"He had a history of abusing alcohol years ago."

"And you know this because you're also a licensed alcohol and drug counselor, correct?"

"Yes..."

"And Mr. Kim Seokjin also told you about his issue with regard to alcohol abuse?"

"Yes." Hoseok swallowed hard.

There were papers that could attest to Hoseok's claim. This was a win for Mrs. Kim. You could see her growing sarcastic smile that was directed at Red.

You inhaled deeply.

"Mr. Jung, can you please tell us the rate of patients going through alcohol relapse?"

"Uh, it's sixty to ninety percent after the first year of treatment," answered by Hoseok.

"I see. How long has it been since Mr. Kim sobered up?"

"As far as I know, it has been three years."

"Huh." Ms. Choi crossed her arms. "So is there a possibility that Mr. Kim would experience an alcohol relapse?"

"Yes."

"What's the statistical probability, Mr. Jung?"

"About fifty percent high." Hoseok looked dejected. He wanted to help Seokjin win the case, but he couldn't lie.

"I see." Ms. Choi was smiling as if she had already won the case.

"Can you tell us now the effects of experiencing an alcohol relapse? Or a slip?"

Hoseok's palms were sweating. Slip was one episode of drinking alcohol after trying to stay sober. Relapse, on the other hand, was the return to unhealthy behavior. Slip wasn't always followed by a relapse.

Hoseok also explained that there were different stages of relapse. Emotional relapse could cause suppression of emotions, becoming more isolated, trying to blame other people, and aggression, especially when they were confronted. There's also mental and physical relapse which included glamorizing alcohol and compulsive desires to drink.

"No further questions, Your Honor." The corner of Ms. Choi's mouth turned up upon realizing that the jury was in favor of their side now.

You had to step up your game.

The next witness was Son Chae-young. She was Soobin's babysitter. Chae-young had been living with the Kims ever since Soobin was born. She's a witness testifying against Seokjin.

Chae-young cleared her throat when your eyes landed on her. She already felt uncomfortable because of the way you were looking at her.

The way you stand up—shoulder down, neck long—was intimidating.

"You have a really nice necklace, Ms. Son."

Chae-young flinched upon hearing your compliment. She was confused. Mrs. Kim and Attorney Choi told her that you were scary, this was evident by the way you present yourself, but then...the way your eyes light up made her feel at ease. Your voice was soft too.

"Ah...thanks," regardless of your sweet persona, Chae-young still couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Why were you looking at her as if she was important? As if you were here to protect and not cross-examine her?

"Is it from Cartier?"

"Yes!" The babysitter beamed at you as she touched her pretty jewelry.

You smiled warmly at her.

"Did you buy it yourself?"

"Objection! Relevance?" The opposing lawyer clenched her fist. She was shaking, causing you to smile bigger. Guess she knew what was coming to her, huh?

"I'm getting there, Your Honor," said by you. Your expression screamed confidence that the judge was compelled to believe you.

"Overruled."

You continued.

"So...Ms. Son, did you buy that necklace? Or is it a gift?"

"Uh..." Chae-young's lips trembled. She was looking at Mrs. Kim, as if she was asking for her boss' help. "I-I bought it for myself..."

"I see." You nodded. Humoring her. "Do you have any other job aside from babysitting Kim Soobin?"

The nanny shook her head.

"N-No. I'm a full-time nanny of Mrs. Kim's son." Chae-young's lips were still shaking; her eyes were quivering as well.

"Hm, interesting..." You went closer to the witness. "That means you're earning what? Two hundred fifty dollars a month?"

"Objection, Your Honor! I still can't see the relevance of this!" Ms. Choi was losing her mind.

You turned to glare at her.

"Can’t you really see the relevance of this or are you just scared?"

You heard the judge's hit the gavel; she was calling your attention.

"Get to the point right now." The judge demanded at you. It was this or your statement was going to be sustained.

"I am merely establishing my point, Your Honor." Your voice was rough. "The necklace Ms. Son is wearing is worth four thousand three hundred dollars. I know because I have the same necklace and it took me, a lawyer, months!" You paused for a while just to emphasize the word months, "to buy it."

You turned to Chae-young when the judge remained silent.

"So tell me, Ms. Son, how can a full-time nanny like you who's earning minimum wage buy that kind of luxurious jewelry? Huh?" You were standing too close to the witness so Attorney Choi used this as an opportunity to object.

"Your Honor, she is badgering the witness!"

"Overruled." But the judge wasn't having any of it. "Answer the question, Ms. Son."

"I'm sorry!" The nanny's face twisted in fear. "Mrs. Kim bought it for me—"

"It's a gift!" Mrs. Kim blurted out, unable to contain her anger anymore. God. She hated you. "I bought it for her last month! It's my birthday gift for her!"

You smirked. Attorney Choi was panicking. She was caressing Mrs. Kim's hand, telling her to calm down.

Sadly, Mrs. Kim could not be stopped.

"Why am I explaining to you when you have no right to question my intention! It's my money so I get to decide what to do with it!"

She was yelling at you and it almost made you laugh. Why was she so defensive?

"May I remind you that you are a married woman, Mrs. Kim? You have to consider your husband's decision when it comes to spending that amount of money." You said this while glancing at the jury.

Base on their expressions, you knew that they agreed with you. This was a win on your side. One of the valid reasons of Seokjin for wanting a divorce was this. Mrs. Kim didn't know how to manage their assets.

You weren't done, though. You had to discredit the witness. You had to win the jury's side in all aspects.

"And you said you bought it last month for Ms. Son's birthday?" You shook your head, focusing your eyes at the nanny.

"Tell us, Ms. Son, when is your birthday?"

Mrs. Kim's face became pale upon hearing your question.

"January seventeen...”

You turned your attention back to Mrs. Kim again.

"Your birthday present is many months late, Mrs. Kim. Either that or you're just lying to hide the fact that you gave Ms. Son the necklace in exchange of testifying against your husband—"

"Objection—"Attorney Choi tried to stop you, but you cut her off too.

"Isn't that right, Ms. Son? You are bribed by your boss to say that you always see Mr. Kim Seokjin drinking alcohol—"

"Your Honor—" The opposing attorney was losing control, her objections were drowning because of how loud your voice was.

"Mrs. Kim wants you to lie! To say that her husband isn't a good father! That he isn't a good influence to Soobin!"

"Yes!"

You stopped trying to pressure Chae-young because it already worked. She admitted the truth.

"Mrs. Kim bribed me!" The babysitter sobbed, looking at you like you were the Lord and she was a sinner.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I-I can't say no, please...please...I need this job!"

"You bitch!" Mrs. Kim abruptly stood up. She wanted to attack you; fortunately the security officers were able to stop her.

The jury was surprised to see Mrs. Kim's violent reaction. You, on the other hand, didn't even flinch.

You were used to this kind of scene. Besides, you couldn't get sidetracked. You still needed to prove your point.

And so you faced the jury.

"Is this the kind of person that you want to raise a sweet, innocent five year-old kid?"

One of the members of the jury clutched her chest. She was affected by what you had said. Truthfully, they were almost decided to grant the sole custody to Mrs. Kim; however, upon seeing the latter's behavior, the jury was having second thoughts now.

"Just look at her!" You pointed at Mrs. Kim who was still seething with rage.

"She constrained an adult! Imagine the bad things she could force Soobin to do! Mrs. Kim is a manipulator!" You raised your voice dramatically.

"My actions are nothing compared to what that asshole is doing!" Mrs. Kim screamed as she angrily pointed at her husband.

She was crying.

Kim Seokjin was quiet. He was shocked by your responses. He didn't expect you to be this bold. You were different from the lawyer he thought he knew.

You didn't have any limit. You didn't know when to stop just to prove a point.

"He's teaching my son that it's okay to be unfaithful to your wife! Jury, please!" Mrs. Kim was desperate. "Don't let him come near my son! He's a drunken bastard!"

The judge was hitting the gavel again. There were too much drama and unnecessary comments from Mrs. Kim.

You shook your head. You couldn't stop now. The jury was undecided. They changed their minds from time to time. You could see sympathy in their eyes as they looked at the wife.

"Mr. Kim Seokjin is sober! You should be ashamed of yourself, Mrs. Kim! You keep blaming your husband when you're the reason why he turned alcoholic in the first place—"

"Objection, Your Honor!" Attorney Choi glared at you. "The attorney is assuming facts!"

You disagreed before the judge could say sustained.

"Am I?" You smirked at the judge before turning to your table to get your evidence.

Seokjin looked at you nervously.

"Please tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing," groaned by your client.

You were blinded by your role as a lawyer, so you ignored Seokjin's plea.

"Don't do this..."

Seokjin was already too late.

"I have here the evidence that will prove that Mrs. Kim is the reason why her husband turned alcoholic."

You brought out the printed photos of Seokjin's beaten up face. Bruises, cuts, and other physical injuries were seen.

The jury gasped. Attorney Choi was groaning as she told the judge that these photos were not entered into evidence.

You were playing dirty, but so were they. Ms. Choi told you that they wouldn't bring Mr. Kim's sobriety issue in this court. She lied.

"These pictures are given to me by Mrs. Kim Sunghee, Seokjin's mother." You glanced at your client's mother.

"She knows that her son's wife was assaulting him. Seokjin didn't want to feel his wife's punches so he resorted to drinking the pain away. Mr. Kim just wants to be numb."

"N-No..." Your client's tears streamed down his cheeks. He was calling your name, begging you to stop.

It felt like everyone was begging you to stop; even Sunghee was shaking her head.

It was wrong. This was a mistake. Seokjin's mother realized this when Soobin began to cry. He was silently crying at first, but when the little boy saw the photos in your hand, he started hyperventilating.

"Appa!" Soobin's eyes dilated. He could barely breathe.

Mrs. Kim stood up to attend to her son.

"Soobin!" Mrs. Kim was wailing.

Things were becoming messy.

You didn't understand what was happening, so you just stood there.

"Appa! A-Appa is hurting!" Soobin was losing it; his eyes were rolling in the back of his head.

"Call 911!" Red shouted.

The noise was deafening.

You still didn't get what was happening.

Seokjin went near you.

"I told you not to do it!" He shouted, snatching the photos away from your shaky hands.

"This isn't about me or my wife!" Seokjin continued to scream at you.

You were stunned.

Your client was blaming you.

This is your fault! Seokjin said.

You were wrong. You didn't have to bring out these photos because apparently, Soobin knew.

He witnessed how his mom used to beat up his father.

The poor kid was traumatized.

He had to get some help.

His parents thought he had recovered.

It had been years.

The thing about trauma was, it never went away. It was there—silently sleeping and waiting for that one thing that would trigger it.

You triggered Soobin.

"I-I didn't know..." Your voice was low as you stated your excuse.

No one wanted to hear your lame excuse, not even Jeongguk.

You looked at your soulmate once.

You looked at him desperately.

You looked at him hoping that he would understand—like he would comfort you.

He would never.

Jeongguk had this look in his eyes, the kind of feeling that expressed disappointment.

Jeongguk was disappointed in you.

It was clear because right now, he was shaking his head as if you had done the most horrifying thing in the world.

He shook his head before leaving you all alone.

No one wanted to be with you.

You were a disgrace.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #ficswithluv #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #bts fic #jungkook enemies to lovers #jungkook roommate au #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkoon x reader #jungkook x oc #jungkook sugar baby au #bts jungkook #bts jeon jeongguk #jungkook soulmate au #jungkook friends to lovers #jungkook e2l

530 notes · View notes

foxymoxynoona · 2 years

Note

Never read a hybrid fic before.. im curious what is it about? Is it about animals? Half animals?? like something in "furry" community fetish?? doesnt people found it uncomfortable reading something like that?? just curious bec i don't think i can read a hybrid fic but i want to know what is it about?? 😅

Hello! I'm going to assume good intentions with your ask and answer a few questions in here. This is long so I'll put it behind the cut.

I'm not sure if you're using a very focused definition of furry community (as in, people who have personas and dress and roleplay in those personas, although your understanding of that community as being just a fetish is incorrect) or more broad (people who like art that includes human-animal chimeras, etc.) but I do want to point out that 1. these interests and communities are not always sexual (but can be!) and 2. the spectrum of things that could be considered hybrid media are ancient through modern, and very broad. Netflix has a literal hybrid show. Many cultures have hybrid figures in their religions and mythos. Werewolves are hybrids. Mermaids are hybrids. Lots of animated movies, cartoons, and even non-animated movies have hybrid chracters. You could even argue that anthropomorphism is a type of hybrid (animals who move, think, speak, sing, etc. like humans.)

So this as a whole is a very broad spectrum of media where I guess the baseline thread is just "human + animal/alien components" (as oppoosed to cyborg, which would be "human + machine/robot components.) Clearly the people who read hybrid stories don't find the concept uncomfortable because it's a type of media they choose to consume --and it's a very, very large audience consuming things along that spectrum. I'm sure others have done much better analysis and writing on this and the psychology and history behind it, but basically, this is not really a niche thing. People have been combining humans and animals since forever. I'm not saying everyone likes catboys, but that most people have probably seen the Little Mermaid. What an individual likes along that is just an individual preference. You could like the Little Mermaid or have a crush on the fox in Zootopia but not find it interesting/appealing to think of a human with bear ears or behaviors.

I'll narrow the focus to "BTS Hybrid stories" of which I have written some and read some. I don't think there are rules, or at least I don't follow them and am not an expert in them, though some common themes come up, which can lead to general reader expectations of the genre. The two main groupings you tend to see are either "have some physical animal traits on an otherwise mainly human form" or "shifters/people who can turn into an animal", but there's a whole range of what that means in practice. I've written stories where people have some phyisical characteristics of their animal, stories where they look just like normal humans but have some behavioral tendancies from their animals, and stories where people look like people but can transform into animals. I personally also tend to really enjoy writing about how society has shaped itself around the existence of hybrids or species, as a way to deconstruct and analyze our real world systems and relationships.

People's individual tastes range as with anything else. Some of my stories lean more into the animal portion of hybrids than others, so some readers might only be interested in certair iterations. I think tastes change over time too. When I wrote Sea of Indigo, I couldn't figure out how I felt about a romantic lead with dog ears, so I actually left the story vague about whether JK has dog ears or human ears or both. Now after writing these stories for two years, doesn't phase me at all to write about how comforting it is to stroke JK's soft bunny ear when you're stresed out from a bad day. 😎

Anyway, hope that lends some insight!

#asks #anonymous #mywriting

6 notes · View notes

oldshrewsburyian · 3 years

Note

+ and technically I should not compare myself, I know better than to compare myself but I recently finished a master's (and messed up quite grandly, dare I say) and my prof suggested I pick another subject so I'm taking a break from academia and get a job instead. But I don't understand how...I am ever going to make up for all the time I lost and never achieved anything. I'm 22 and I have never done anything worthwhile, my CV is literally half a page BC I have never done anything and +

+ I don't even /know/ where to begin, everyone seems to know how to research and what to research and where to find what they do...I...I feel like I missed out on some sort of guide that Everyone was given yknow? I have seen people end up on Dean's list when we both started the same thing with same mental illnesses and I don't understand how I ended up failing a master's and barely doing anything in my undergrad while they ended up on Dean's list, a grad school, and multiple talks +

+ I don't really know what I'm hoping for here, but like how do I begin searching for things to do and be okay that I have spent a lot of my time just doing absolutely nothing? That I love academia but I'm also an awfully terrible student. I don't...I don't know what to do about any of it. Anyway, thank you for listening!

Dear anonymous inquirer:

The above is the first ask I received from you, so I'm afraid I don't know what was in your first paragraph. But I am glad to address some of your concerns.

The world is large and glorious and terrifying. This is perhaps seldom more true than when one is 22. And I am intimately familiar with the fear -- recurring at various stages of life and career -- that one has not done quite enough, that one has fallen just short enough, in enough different ways, to have somehow wrecked one's future prospects. But let me say this: there are many possible futures. I'm going to treat your self-comparison with others as, on the whole, a negligible sidebar to this; you already know that it's unproductive, and that torturing oneself with wondering why is ultimately fruitless. You're asking about academics and about life, and I'm going to try to address both.

Firstly, to your fear that you are "an awfully terrible student." You say you "barely did anything" during your undergraduate degree, but I'm not sure what standard for "anything" you're using there since, clearly, you earned a B.A.! I gather, since you went on to a Master's, that you also discovered a subject that excites and delights you, and that you enjoyed many intellectually profitable discussions with professors and peers. You were also accepted to an M.A. program. Also, though you say you "messed up quite grandly," whatever you did or did not do in the year (?) of your M.A. did not convince your professor, an expert in evaluating M.A. students (who may be terrified, insecure, and/or incompetent in a variety of ways) that you are ill-suited to pursuing an M.A., either by temperament or ability. Their conclusion was not that you're an awfully terrible student. Their conclusion was that you might be happier or more successful in another subject. Take that to heart. Also, please trust me when I say that there is no guide that everyone is given. One of the defining elements of graduate school is that there is no guide; we all have to muddle through without one, depending on our own initiative first, and the cultivation of relationships with potential mentors and guides among peers and professors both.

If you like, I'm happy to answer questions about finding a research subject under separate cover, as it were. But I think your decision to take a year away from research and coursework, and to spend that year working somewhere, is a very wise one. What worries and saddens me in your asks, dear Anon, is that you seem to equate a half-page CV and a less-than-satisfactory M.A. experience with having "never done anything worthwhile" in your life. But I suspect that you've watched streams and birds, comforted friends and laughed with them, petted cats (allergies permitting,) experimented in the kitchen, tried multiple cuisines, dabbled in languages, explored various genres of music. I don't know what you perceive as "lost" time, but you're 22 and have earned a B.A., itself an achievement, and presumably learned a good deal about how you can navigate the world and manage your mental illnesses. Also, forgive me speaking for a moment from the perspective of the mid-thirties, but you're only 22. It is impossible for you to have spent a lot of your time, in life, "just doing absolutely nothing." And indeed, if you'll forgive me speaking as a Romantic anticapitalist for a moment, what's wrong with a bit of spiritually productive idleness? Look up what my darling Keats said about negative capability. Consider pinning it up over your bed, or desk. Wait upon the event, dear Anon. Explore new genres of music. Consider cultivating a plant, or checking cookbooks out of the public library, or reading all of Jane Austen... or all three. Correspond with your friends. Be of good heart.

Yours affectionately,

Spinster Aunt of Tumblr

#spinster aunt of tumblr #asks and answers #academia #gradblr #life advice

30 notes · View notes

tuanyiems · 3 years

Text

First Everything

First Everything Bambam x Fem Reader Genre: fluff, a little angst Words: 9.2k [Masterlist in blog description] Plot: Sequel to Muse (Arranged Marriage AU) Part of the Marriage Life AU series. A series of dates in which Bambam tries his hardest (poor boy) to convince you that he really, really wants to be with you. a/n – lol idunno how I feel about this but here you go~

When the door of the restaurant opens, Bambam’s eyes dart over to the bodies entering for the umpteenth time. When it’s not you, he sighs, rubbing sweaty palms over the deep purple suede of his pants. The designer material darkens under his touch, but he’s too nervous to fret over his outfit at the moment.

He’s beginning to regret not picking you up at your place. He should have been more insistent. But the choice was made and now he is here, leg shaking in his chair of the Michelin star restaurant that he’s not quite sure you’re even going to meet him at.

He gulps down his second glass of water, throat parched at just the thought of getting stood up. He eats at this place at least three times a month. How embarrassing would it be for everyone to witness this rejection?

The door opens again and Bambam jerks his head up like a meerkat. An elderly woman walks in, much to his disappointment.

He sinks into the plush seat, tipping the glass to his lips again only to find it empty. A waitress promptly comes over to refill his glass, relieving him of the menacing view of the restaurant door for a fleeting moment.

What’s wrong with him? Bambam hasn’t been this nervous since…well, high school.

“Kun…pi…mook uh Bu—”

Bambam rolls his eyes at the freshmen English teacher, Mr. Kim, butchering his name. “I just go by Bambam,” comes his automatic response.

Mr. Kim breaks into a sigh of relief, taking pen to clipboard, “Great, Bambam it is.”

But Bambam has already zoned out.

Because right across from him is you—an unassuming girl in the back seat, smiling to yourself. Your lips move as you tilt your head down, but Bambam knows exactly what you’ve mouthed and his heart catches in his throat. Bambam.

His name makes your cheeks dimple.

He doesn’t know why, but this little bit of knowledge makes his chest squeeze.

The next day and every day after, Bambam makes sure to sit next to you. Thus, began the beginning of your beautiful love story…

…is what he had hoped.

But after the first day of high school, you don’t even spare him a glance. So instead, Bambam spends every hour of English period watching you from his peripheral.

You are a quiet student and most days you spend the hour doodling in the margins of your notebook. Often, your doodles are centered around cute cartoons yelling at you to pay attention in class. Every once in a while, he’ll catch a funny caricature of one of your classmates.

Maybe you’ll draw him one day, he hopes to himself.

(You don’t.)

“Bambam and Y/N, please read the next passage,” Mr. Kim interrupts his daydreams one day, about a month into the new school year.

His eyes widen, fingers flipping through the pages of Romeo and Juliet.

“Page 46,” you whisper as you get up from your seat.

Bambam lets out a breath, thumbing to the right page as he stands from his seat beside yours. He squares his shoulders, attempting to stand tall though his shoulders only manage about an inch higher than yours, but every inch counts!

“If I profane,” you whisper when he doesn’t begin reading.

Mr. Kim looks at Bambam pointedly.

“If I proFANE!” he starts loudly, cringing when his voice cracks. His classmates snicker, making his cheeks go red, but you don’t even flinch. Your eyes remain steady on the page of your own book, waiting for him to continue. He clears his throat, “If I p-profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: my…lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch…with a tender k-kiss.”

Bambam swallows, wiping a sweaty palm on his khaki pants. He prays no one notices his stutter. If you do, you don’t let on, lowering the book as you speak.

“Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.”

“Ha-”

“You guys,” Mr. Kim sighs, interrupting Bambam. He looks around the room with a scowl. “Can we not read this out like robots, please? This is young love! They’re talking about kissing! Be more excited!”

“Is that what they’re talking about?” you mutter under your breath, eyebrows arching as you scanned the page.

Bambam snorts before covering his mouth with his hand quickly. You catch the sound though, looking up at him with a smile.

His heart catches in his throat.

The playful glint in your eyes keeps him afloat for months after.

When the restaurant doors open again, Bambam chokes on his water. He coughs into the red linen napkin, his grey contact eyes watering. He can’t help chuckling despite it all though.

You’re here. And fortunately for Bambam, your gaze is focused on the hostess. You’re asking her something, probably for directions to his table. You lean towards the hostess’ podium, the heels of your blush-colored flats rising to your tiptoes out of habit even though you are at least a foot clear of the podium. You have on your signature cream oversized knit cardigan which you pull tighter to your chest, covering the simple white dress beneath.

It is so very you—even the stroke of blue paint at the bottom of your dress (which you probably aren’t aware of). On any other girl, Bambam would have scrutinized the stain, especially at a restaurant of this class. Yet, on you, the mark is somehow endearing.

He wonders if the paint stain is fresh. Were you so absorbed in a painting that you came rushing straight here with no time to change? Or was this an old stain on a dress you loved so much you couldn’t bear to part ways with it?

“Hey,” your hesitant voice breaks him out of his thoughts as you take a seat across from him.

“Hi,” he breathes. Underneath the table, he pinches his thigh. Nope, not a dream.

“Sorry I kept you waiting, I had a hard time finding the entrance,” you chuckle to yourself. There’s a story behind that smile, there always seems to be a story behind every expression and gesture you make. He wonders if he’ll ever be part of that story. When he doesn’t respond, you tilt your head nervously. “Were…you waiting long?”

“Oh! Ha, no, not at all!” Bambam straightens in his seat.

You smile politely before turning away to admire the place. It’s a beautiful French restaurant that sits at the top of one of Seoul’s tallest hotels. The entire restaurant is surrounded by floor to ceiling windows, offering a spectacular view of the city. Your eyes linger on the glittering lights of Seoul’s Friday night skyline.

Bambam doesn’t bother to glance out the window. His eyes remain on you, the glow of the candle at the center of the table flickers like stardust on your skin.

When you finally look back, Bambam leans on the table, lifting a proud brow. “Like the view?”

“This place is breathtaking,” you admit, fingers rubbing absentmindedly at the ends of your sleeves.

“Right? It’s one of my favorite places in the city,” he smiles triumphantly. “Wait ‘til you try the food.”

“Do you come here often?”

“Yeah, Lisa introduced me to this place a year ago and I’ve been coming ever since.”

“L-Lisa? Like…from Blackpink?” you look at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that Lisa, she’s a homie.”

You blink at him. “Wow, okay…cool.”

He pauses, not quite sure how to read your tone. Before he can ask though, the waitress interrupts with the usual spiel on menus and dishes of the night. When you read through the menu, your eyes grow big.

“My card is still on file, right?” Bambam asks, quick to assuage your worries. His card has been on file for months now.

“Yes, it should be, but I can check again for you,” the waitress smiles at him politely, knowing just as well that Bambam already knows this. He winks at her as she leaves before turning back to you.

Unlike his expectations though, the crease between your brow only deepens. He clears his throat, rubbing his palms against his thighs again.

“Anything catch your eye?”

You force out a smile, putting down your menu. “I can eat anything. Why don’t you decide?”

Bambam lifts a brow but nods in agreement. He wonders if French cuisine just isn’t your thing. He should have listened to Yugyeom and gone Japanese, huh? You can’t go wrong with omakase!

“Do you like wine?” he blurts, trying to get his best friend’s voice out of his head.

“Oh,” your eyes dart to the clear glass cases at the center of the restaurant showcasing their selection. You sink into your seat a little. “Well, I’m not really an expert, but I can drink it. Do you like wine?”

“I’ll let you try my favorite bottle! It’ll go great with the usual course I order,” he smiles, quite pleased with his decision.

“Sounds good,” you nod curtly.

After Bambam puts in the order, an uncomfortable silence follows. Your eyes keep traveling around the room like you don’t want to look at him. And Bambam, who could easily entertain an entire party of people at any given moment, finds himself at a loss for words. There’s probably a stain on his thighs now from how often he keeps wiping his palms. He’s too afraid to check.

“So,” he starts, extending the single word uneasily. He doesn’t manage to figure out the rest of his sentence though.

But it’s then that you finally break into a smile. A real one.

“Bambam,” you let out, and his eyes dart to your cheek where the ghost of a familiar dimple lays. “Are you feeling as awkward as I am?”

“More like nervous,” he confesses, leaning back into his seat.

Your brows raise, “You? Nervous?”

“It happens when I’m with beautiful people.”

You roll your eyes, “Says the same guy who’s ‘homies’ with Blackpink’s Lisa.”

Bambam grins, “When you meet her, you’ll see, she’s a bro.”

You arch your brows, clearly not believing him. “If she’s a bro, I can’t imagine what I am.”

You’re frowning and his heart sinks. He hates that you actually mean it. He hates that he can’t even tell you honestly what you mean to him. It’s way too soon for that kind of confession. He’s sure you wouldn’t take him seriously anyways. After all, he barely managed to even get this date.

Yn_ig: The animes lied to me. High school sucks.

Bambam snorts loudly, muffling himself beneath his blue checkered duvet before his mom can hear and yell at him to go to sleep.

It’s midnight and tomorrow will be the first day of sophomore year. He really should be sleeping, but instead he’s smiling stupidly at his phone. Your scowling face lights up his screen. Your best friend smiles brightly beside you, poking your cheek with the end of a paintbrush. You had spent your break taking an art class.

Bambam knows this because he’s been stalking your Instagram, although he’s been too afraid to like any of your posts.

You’ve gotten a lot better in the span of a few weeks though. Or at least, that’s what it seems like from having spent all of freshmen year watching you doodle in the margins. He wonders if he’ll get to sit beside you this year too. His stomach flips at the thought.

When morning comes, Bambam yawns loudly, his eyes barely open as he rushes to the bus stop. He hadn’t meant to stay up so late, but one thing led to another and suddenly he was on Soundcloud, listening to an indie artist by the name of Defsoul, who you had commented about on your friend’s Instagram post fifteen weeks ago.

He pulls out his phone, plugging in his earphones to continue listening. He steps into the bus, in the middle of bopping his head to a song when the sound escapes him and all he can hear is the thumping of his heart.

You’re sitting near the back, looking out the window. You have on headphones and a scowl that looks just like the picture you posted last night.

Steadying his breath, he walks past you and slides into the row of seats right behind yours. He wonders if you’re listening to the same song.

Maybe you’ll share the same homeroom this year. The entire bus ride to school, Bambam daydreams about all the conversations you’d share every morning if that were the case. He’d talk to you about Defsoul and then you’d share your stories about break. He’d tell you his was alright, but it would’ve been better if you two hung out. You’d give him that look, the same one you gave when you read out loud together, and then he’d poke your cheek like he’s always wanted to, right where your cheeks dimpled.

His bubble bursts as soon as a guy takes a seat beside you. Bambam can’t remember his name, but his face is familiar. He’s a senior, and by the way you move your headphones to the nape of your neck and smile, it seems like you know him. Holding his breath, Bambam pauses his song.

“2A? That used to be my homeroom!”

Bambam clenches his fist. His homeroom is at the other end of the hall from yours. Frowning, he eyes the back of the guy’s head as he leans into you.

“So, have you thought about what I asked over break?”

You fold your arms across your chest and Bambam can’t help but wonder what he’s asked of you. Is it a date? The way he whispers seems like it would be that kind of thing, and Bambam doesn’t doubt a girl like you must have a lot of admirers. Is it making you uncomfortable? Should he interrupt you two? But then, you’d clearly know he had been eavesdropping. But if this guy was making you uncomfortable, that shouldn’t matter, right?

Thighs straining, Bambam almost stands from his seat when you laugh. It’s the loudest he’s ever heard you, at least in person anyways.

“I thought you’d forget by now,” you chuckle.

The guy feigns offense, holding a hand to his chest. “Me? Forget about you? I see you think very highly of me, Y/N.”

Bambam rolls his eyes.

“Sure you aren’t just trying to dump all your responsibilities on me?” you pout. Bambam melts inside.

“Ha, you caught me!” the senior laughs, making you laugh too. It’s such a pretty ring to his ears, Bambam already knows he’ll be thinking about it for the next couple of weeks. “But you know I wouldn’t give it up to just anyone. It’s practically my baby.”

“That’s true,” you admit, chuckling, and then quieter, “You think I can do it?”

He put an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close. Bambam squeezes his fist.

“Not just doing it. I know you’ll be a great president,” he tells you confidently. Your ears go red, and if Bambam weren’t so focused on the hand on your shoulder, he would’ve found it very endearing.

“I don’t know, I just…” you pause nervously.

“Yo,” Mingyu breaks Bambam’s concentration. “2D?”

Bambam breaks into a smile, highfiving his friend as he takes the seat next to him. “2D!”

“Sweet!” Mingyu cheers, shoulders bumping against his playfully. “Kook’s with us too. It’s gonna be a wild year!”

Bambam laughs, shaking his head. “You guys are gonna get us kicked back a year.”

His friend whistles. “Girls are into older guys, Bam, it’ll be like one of those harem animes Kook loves so much!”

Bambam laughs, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he glances back at the hand still on your shoulder. He hopes that’s not the case for you.

“It got cold,” Bambam musters as the two of you leave the restaurant.

You nod, looking up at the night sky. “Seems like winter doesn’t want to leave us yet.”

The two of you pause by the curb, in front of the valet.

“Are you sure you had a good time, Y/N? You barely touched your food.”

You look up in surprise. “Oh, I really did have a nice time, Bambam.”

He looks at you skeptically.

“The uh, the…gourdine?”

“Bouchée à la périgourdine?”

“Yeah, that!” you chuckle awkwardly. “That was delicious.”

Bambam still doesn’t believe you but you look uncomfortable, so he lets it go. Actually, you’ve been looking uncomfortable ever since you laid eyes on the menu. Most of his dates took advantage of his generosity, especially at a place like this—ordering the most expensive dishes and trying out all the wine. You though? You insisted on being full after the first course. When he asked you what your thoughts were on his favorite bottle of wine, you mumbled something incoherent as you tipped the entire glass down your throat. You only had water after that.

It was like you couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Maybe he had read things wrong. He thought you were at least interested in him too. The night of Mark’s fashion launch, the two of you had shared so many things—secrets, confessions, old memories and what he thought had been chemistry.

He glances over your way. You’re turned away from him, eyes watching the valet workers instead. You had admitted to hating him in the past. His stomach sinks at the thought that maybe you still do.

You shiver, pulling your cardigan closer to your chest. Bambam unwraps his scarf, holding out his hand for you to take it.

“Oh, I’m alright,”

He lets out a soft sigh before stepping in front of you.

“Do you maybe,” Bambam asks softly, placing his scarf gently around the nape of your neck. “I don’t know, it’s Friday, we could walk around or something or…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, instead biting on the tip of his tongue as he wraps the cashmere cloth securely around you.

Your fingers brush against his, just barely, but he feels it tenfold. “It’s getting late…”

Bambam tries not to look too hurt when he smiles back at you. “I’ll drive you home then.”

A week later, Bambam finds himself outside of your studio apartment. When you open the door, you’re wide-eyed and frozen like you’ve seen a ghost. In your defense though, Bambam doesn’t look like himself. He hasn’t ever since the night you left him at this exact spot last week.

Dark circles line his eyes and his newly dyed black hair only makes his complexion paler.

“Is everything okay, Bambam?” you ask finally.

He sighs, squeezing at the bridge of his nose. His gold frames lift at the gesture.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, “I probably should have called first.”

“Hey,” you place your palm gently on his arm. “Why don’t you come in first.”

Bambam lets you tug him inside like a lost puppy. His eyes travel around the room. Of course, he’s seen your place before in videos, but it’s different being here now. He doesn’t expect the smell of ginger and lemongrass to greet him. The longer he lingers, the more aware he becomes of the subtle scent of jasmine rice wafting in from the open kitchen. It’s comforting.

Your bedroom door is open, and he can see you’re working on a series of paintings. The canvases line your wooden floors in a haphazard row across the room.

You sit him down on your couch, a worn out burgundy but the geometric pattern is intricate despite its faded color. He lets his finger trail over a line while you poor him a cup of water.

“Your hair is black,” you break the silence.

“Oh,” he runs a hand through his hair like he is discovering this for the first time too. A faint pink colors his cheeks.

“I like it,” you smile softly. “It suits you.”

“Thanks,” he utters. His eyes trail down your hands. Your thumb smooths down your own cup of water repeatedly. Your fingers are speckled with green paint.

When he doesn’t say anything more, you chuckle softly to yourself. He looks at you in surprise.

“I like this new look,” you explain, eyes gesturing to his outfit. Today, Bambam is in a simple white t-shirt and black ripped jeans. Granted, the t-shirt is still Tom Ford, but you don’t know that. More noticeably though, is what he is not wearing, no sparkling diamonds around his neck, no Rolex on his wrist. Only a plain, silver ring adorns his right pinky. “So, why are you here, Bambam?”

He winces inwardly, reality setting in on him. Why is he here? Because the hair dye didn’t work? Because he agreed to too many projects in an attempt to keep busy but now he’s just tired and confused? Because Yugyeom pushed him out of the office and told him to figure things out?

Because no matter what he does, he keeps thinking about last week’s date and how you looked at him right before going inside—the mixture of disappointment and sadness in your eyes that felt like he had lost it all.

“Bambam?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

His question catches you off guard. “What? No, of course not.”

“You didn’t like the food,”

“The food was delicious.”

“Then it was me. I was boring.”

“Are you really Bambam? Where did all your confidence go?” you joke, lifting a brow.

His shoulders slouch. You make his confidence deplete like he is fourteen again. When he doesn’t say anything, you put your cup down onto the coffee table and look him in the eye.

“Hey, really, it had nothing to do with you Bambam, and everything to do with me.”

He chuckles dryly. “I don’t need a ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ to soften the blow. You can give it to me straight.”

You look at him with a frown, lips threatening to jut into a pout and if Bambam weren’t about to get his heart crushed, he would’ve found your expression to be very adorable. Well, okay, that’s a lie, he still finds you very adorable right now.

“It’s really not you,” you purse your lips together, looking away. “I just…I was very out of place there, Bambam.”

“Wha-”

“I couldn’t pronounce half the menu,” you continue, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “Or the wine.”

“But it tasted good?”

“Yeah,” you chuckle, looking at him. “It was amazing, Bambam. But that one meal cost about half the month’s rent of this place!”

Bambam doesn’t mean to, but he laughs at your outburst. He is reminded of himself a few years ago when he first became friends with Jackson Wang, who gifted him a set of Cartier jewelry on his birthday.

When he sees your face, he immediately stops laughing. “Wait, I’m not laughing at you!”

“Yeah, sure,” you roll your eyes, but it’s a harmless gesture. Rising from your seat, you look at him, “Is that all you came here for?”

“Well, no.”

Your brows lift.

“There’s this event,” Bambam rushes, digging into the pocket of his jeans. “Actually, I was working on this mini documentary with this artist and he’s opening up a new exhibit this weekend.”

He raises the tickets tentatively towards you but freezes when your eyes bug out.

“Yoshitomo Nara?” You practically scream, falling back onto the couch right beside Bambam. You smell warm and sweet and the memory of the night you shared a few weeks ago flickers in the back of his mind.

“Yoshitomo Nara,” he confirms softly.

You frown his way, though it quickly turns into a smile, “Well, that’s just not fair. You know how much he means to me.”

“I do,” he smiles quietly.

“So you came here to bribe me?”

He laughs, “More or less. Is that a yes?”

You smile, thumbs smoothing over the tickets repeatedly.

“Jokes on you, Bambam. I would’ve said yes even without these tickets.”

Somehow, he doesn’t quite believe you, but you are giggling, and he has a date.

And that is all that matters.

Bambam sits nervously on a stool of the art studio, his fingers twisting the lens of an old DSLR he’s still not confident about using. From the elevated windows above, the pink evening sky illuminates. Everything about this moment seems picturesque. If Bambam could use his camera properly, he would’ve known.

But instead, the camera remains abandoned in his grasp as he stares in front of him where you stand in front of your easel mere meters away. It’s just the two of you. Everyone from both the photography and the painting club had gone home already. After seeing you continue to paint, Bambam had insisted on staying behind to practice with his camera more.

To be honest, he is hungry and could care less about photography, but he can’t find himself to go home.

“Hey,” you twist around and Bambam’s mind spins.

“H-hey,” he musters up, still unconvinced you’re talking to him.

He blinks owlishly at you, and then, his stomach growls. Loudly. His ears turn so red and he feels like he’s been set on fire, but you don’t even react.

“Mind if I play music?”

“Uh, yeah…that’s fine,” he answers you meekly, eyes diverting in embarrassment.

“Cool,” you reply nonchalantly, walking up to his side of the room where the speakers are. Plugging in your phone, the familiar tune of Defsoul’s music fills the studio. It takes Bambam a minute to get over his own mortification before the music reaches his ears and he perks up. But when he looks around the room, you are gone.

Alone now, Bambam finds the courage to get up from his seat and approaches your easel. The chair beside your easel is stacked with art books of Yoshitomo Nara. It seems you are doing a study. Just like the angry little girls on the cover of the art books, your easel holds a portrait of a little girl too. It is different though.

When he looks at the girl in your painting, he sees you. The little girl holds the ghost of a smirk beneath her scowl and her eyes glint with secrets of mischief, just like you. Without thinking, Bambam takes a step back and raises his camera.

“Like it?”

Bambam jumps in surprise, the flash of the camera going off before it slips from his hands entirely. Flustered, he rushes to bring the camera back into his grasp, thanking god he had kept the old leather strap around his neck.

You giggle softly, standing beside him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you.”

“It’s alright, I was just spacing out,” he mumbles sheepishly, eyes averting to the screen of his camera. You lean in, filling his senses with faint notes of your strawberry vanilla shampoo. “I’m still learning how to use the camera.”

“I like it,” you smile, looking up at him. “Can you send it to me?”

“I-really?” he looks at you surprised. Your painting isn’t in focus and off centered. The photo is not good, even Bambam knows it.

“Yeah, gives me album cover vibes,” you chuckle.

He snorts. “When is your mixtape dropping?”

You grin, raising a brow. “You never know what could happen in the future, Bambam.”

He shrugs, pretending not to melt at the sound of his name on your tongue. He didn’t think you’d remember him.

“Here,” you hand him a bag of cheese puffs before opening your own bag. “The vending machine popped out two.”

“Oh, thanks.”

Bambam walks back to his seat, gaze on your back again as you return to painting. He glances at the blurry photo on the screen of his camera and then slowly, he raises his camera once more, one eye squinting into the viewfinder.

Maybe photography isn’t so bad after all.

He snaps another photo. Click!

“Wait, this is a formal thing? Should I change?”

Bambam watches with amusement as you bounce nervously in front of his car. You are dressed in a plain pink tank top and matching satin wrap skirt. Of course, your classic cream cardigan drapes over you, and to his pleasure, so does his scarf from your last date.

“You look beautiful,” he reassures you.

You bite at your lip, unconvinced. “But you’re in a suit.”

“Okay, but when am I not?”

Your pout reluctantly turns into a smile and you huff, walking through the door he’s holding open for you, into the passenger’s seat. When he gets into the driver’s seat, you turn to him.

“When you’re wearing your designer gym clothes,” you smirk.

“Stop, you aren’t allowed to make jokes while I’m driving,” he laughs, pulling the car out of the driveway. “Also, tracksuits are still suits.”

Your giggles ring throughout the car.

When the two of you get to the venue, the place is already busy. The exhibition is part of the new contemporary art wing in the museum, which has been closed for the night for an intimate opening with select guests. Many of these guests are artist friends of Yoshitomo Nara, but even more are the wealthy collectors who are more than eager to call first dibs on the latest works. The only reason Bambam has been invited is because his mini documentary of the artist is playing on loop in one of the screening rooms.

While he loves art, these type of art scenes are not his thing. They’re a bit too stuffy for his taste and exactly why he dropped out of art school in the first place. But when he sees the way you seem to shrink into your cardigan as soon as you step into the gallery, he squares his shoulders and grabs hold of your hand.

You look surprised by his touch, but thankfully, you don’t pull away.

“You have to get used to these kinds of events, Y/N. You’ll be hosting them soon.”

You chuckle, glancing away. “Well, if I’m lucky, you’ll be hosting them.”

It’s his turn to blush now, but he pretends to be cool, pointing to the first painting to the right. “Shall we start here?”

You only grin, gripping his hand tighter. You seemed to get a little too much joy out of making him feel shy. Bambam can only sigh, quietly relishing in the warmth of your palm against his.

When you finally turn your attention to the paintings, the two of you look on in silence. Naturally, Bambam’s gaze falls onto you. There is a glimmer in your eyes, emotions passing through your features like its own movie. There is a lift of revelation in your brow, a scrunch of displeasure in your nose, the twitch of amusement on your lips.

Bambam fights the urge to take out his phone and record you. Instead, he follows after you, committing your profile to memory.

“Why do you like this guy so much?” he blurts out after passing a few paintings. You peel your eyes away to look at him in surprise, cheeks rosy.

“I-I don’t know, I’ve just loved his works since high school.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for the question to come out harsh. I was just curious, I mean, his art is really nice.”

You squeeze his hand, calming him. “I know. I guess I was just drawn to his characters. They’re cute, but rebellious and real. It’s charming.”

Bambam smiles. That’s how he feels about you.

“And it blurs the lines of what is fine art,” you go on, turning back to the painting in front of you. “Like right now, it is hanging in this museum, so it’s considered high end art, right? But this girl can easily be inside a children’s book, and his previous works have.”

You glance back at him, looking embarrassed after your spiel. “I don’t know.”

He doesn’t let you skirt over the topic though as he follows you to the next painting. “Is that why you dropped out of school?”

You sigh. “There were a lot of reasons. Maybe my skin wasn’t thick enough.”

“No, I get it,” he rubs his thumb across your skin. “I don’t like museums much, to be honest. I like the idea of them, but in reality, places like these only cater to the gatekeepers and the gatekeepers are just boring ass, tax-evading millionaires.”

You laugh, leaning into his chest as if that’ll rid you of the attention you’ve already gained around your corner of the room. Bambam ignores their stares, laughing along with you.

“Your art shouldn’t be jailed up in this stale room,” he adds, after your giggling subsides.

“But yours is,” you chuckle, making your way into the dark screening room.

Projected onto the wall is Yoshitomo Nara talking midsentence about his latest artworks. You take a seat on the bench before gesturing for Bambam to take a seat next to you.

“This is filmed beautifully,” you lean into him to whisper. The action makes him smile since you are the only two in this room, but if it’ll bring you closer, he doesn’t mind. “You’re really talented, Bambam.”

“I have a good team with me.”

“I always knew you’d make it big.”

He smiles quietly, watching as the glow of the video illuminated your face. You really did.

Yn_ig: This is amazing!

Bambam1a: Thx!

Bambam chucks his phone between his thighs before shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth to hide the smile spreading across his face. He pretends to laugh at something his brother said, though really, he’s twisting with glee because you just liked his latest post on Instagram. And you commented!

“Remember Bammie, this weekend you’re coming with me to…”

His phone dings and his mom’s voice fades into the background. Grabbing his phone, his stomach flips when he sees your handle name sending you a direct message. Ever since the beginning of junior year, he’s been talking to you over Instagram under the alias Muse_ig. It hadn’t been his intentions to deceive you. He was just nervous about talking to you online, but still wanted a way to support you. One comment on your art led to another and suddenly you were messaging him a thank you. Very quickly, that thank you turned into memes and inside jokes. Now, the two of you were talking to each other almost every night.

He clicks on the notification, nodding blankly to whatever his mom is saying.

Yn_ig: Hey! You said you liked photography, right? You should check him out. He’s my classmate. Really talented guy.

Bambam clutches his phone, trying to keep from jumping out of his seat when he sees you’ve sent his Instagram profile.

“Bammie, are you listening to me?” his mom looks at him pointedly.

He tries to school his expression, but joy floods his face anyways. And despite her tone, his mom smiles too.

“Whoever it is, she can wait. Put your phone away,” she teases, inciting laughter from all his siblings.

Bambam laughs it off goodheartedly, tucking his phone away. You think he’s really talented and nothing can diminish the high that this newfound knowledge brings him.

Well, nothing except, of course, you.

You see, when Bambam agreed to tagging along with his mom to her new friend’s house so she could introduce their daughter to him, he was expecting to spend a few awkward hours with some strangers. Maybe bond with said daughter over the awkwardness, but then he would go home and play video games and that would be that.

What he doesn’t expect is to greet you first thing at your doorway. He doesn’t expect to sit across from you during dinner. And he definitely doesn’t expect the glare you send him between each bite.

“You really are the prettiest thing!” His mother coos from across the table. “She definitely takes after you.”

“Oh, stop it,” your mom blushes, waving her spoon. “To think our kids already knew each other. This must be fate!”

“Hardly,” you mumble under your breath, but Bambam hears it. His heart breaks.

He can’t even blame you for it though. This dinner hasn’t exactly been easy for you. He remembers your late-night texts a few months ago and now all those self-deprecating comments make sense. Those words you were repeating? The I’m not good enough and I should just give up—They were never yours. It was your parents’.

“Bambam told me she’s one of the smartest in her grade!” his mom continues to compliment. He nods eagerly. Your frown only deepens as you poke at the asparagus on your plate.

“What good are all those As when all she does is doodle?” her mom laments, chuckling weakly. “We put all this money into her education but all she wants to do is draw.”

“Paintings,” Bambam musters. Both his and your mom look at him, surprised. He wipes his palms against his pants. In his peripheral, he knows you’re looking at him too, but he’s too afraid to look at you. “She paints, and she’s really good.”

There’s a pause and Bambam’s entire face heats up.

And then your mom breaks into a laugh. “And I heard you’re doing photography!”

His chest deflates and he nods meekly.

His mom laughs, hitting him on the back. “Unlike Y/N, Bammie here is terrible at studying. I really hope this hobby takes off.”

“Your mom showed me some of your photos, boy,” your father speaks up gruffly, pointing the steak knife his way. “Keep it up and you’ll earn yourself a free ticket to college.”

Bambam rubs at the nape of his neck, “I don’t know about that.”

“No really, there’s a scholarship, isn’t there, Y/N?” your father insists, looking at you.

You nod, putting down your fork. You look at your dad but it’s clear in your tone that you’re talking to him.

“It’s called the Artisan Award—a full scholarship to your art school of choice. It’s given to one graduating senior for their excellence in art across multiple disciplines—including photography. I’ll be applying to it next year.” You don’t even offer him a glance, focusing instead, on your glass of water.

“Well, you’ll be applying to a lot of scholarships,” your mom chuckles uneasily. “There’s still a year to think things through.”

“You should apply too,” your father adds, looking at him.

“Oh, I don’t know if I’d be any good. Sounds competitive,” Bambam mumbles, glancing at you. You’re scowling down at your plate.

“Wouldn’t hurt to try though,” his mom cuts in, smiling at him. “What are the kids saying nowadays? Have to shoot your shot into the hoop?”

He smiles, pretending to grimace at his mom, making her laugh.

“While we’re at it, let’s apply to the athletic scholarships too,” she jokes.

He laughs, rolling his eyes. “First I have to make a shot into an actual hoop.”

His mom snorts, “It’s okay, if anything you can dropout and become a comedian! We’ve got options.”

The table breaks into laughter but when he glances your way, you are glaring at him.

“I still can’t believe you were Muse_ig this whole time. I dropped out because of you,” you giggle, a crumpled brown napkin in one hand while the other cradles a half-eaten slice of pizza. The two of you had stopped for a bite to eat next door to the museum.

“Hey, don’t blame me, I was just sending you encouraging messages. You made the decision,” Bambam whines, one cheek still stuffed full of pizza.

“Only because I had you feeding into my delusions!”

“You mean showing you your true worth?” he corrects.

You smile, leaning onto the table towards him. “Which ultimately pushed me to drop out.”

He sighs, “Okay, fine, you win. Please don’t tell your mom, though. She’ll hate me.”

“Impossible, she loves you.”

“And I’d like to keep it that way.”

You roll your eyes as Bambam finishes his last bite. Sitting in the pizzeria on a Saturday night amongst a crowd of college students from the local university, the two of you stand out like a sore thumb—Bambam, because of his tailored suit that’s probably the same price as some of these students’ tuition, and you, because, well, you’re you.

In his eyes at least, you always stand out. However, tonight, this is especially so. Unlike your first date, you are laughing and joking together. Maybe he should get pizza with you more often.

“This was nice,” you breathe out as you both step out of the pizzeria. When the restaurant doors close, the loud chatter muffles and is replaced by the quiet night breeze.

“So,” Bambam lets the word drawl sluggishly, not wanting the night to end, but he is reminded of the last date when you turned him down and hesitates to extend another offer.

“So,” you copy, voice soft as you start walking back towards the museum parking garage. “You never explained why you dropped out. Such a waste of a scholarship,” you tease.

“Ah, that…” Bambam stuffs his hands into the pockets of his pants.

You place a hesitant hand around the crook of his arm and his shoulders relax.

“If it’s a touchy subject, you don’t have to answer.”

He shakes his head, looking down at you. “No, it’s not.”

He opens the passenger door for you, helping you in before heading to his side.

“I guess I didn’t have tough skin either,” he chuckles softly, starting the car. “Some days it really did feel like being jailed inside an art museum. Photography didn’t feel the same without…”

His voice trails and his cheeks heat up. You look at him curiously but he’s too embarrassed to continue. Again, he is reminded by the fact that while you grew up together, the memories you share are quite different.

He glances at you and the way you smile at him is sweet. As if to say, it’s okay to not say anything more. But instead of being comforted, Bambam remembers the way you glared at him from across the dinner table as if it happened yesterday.

“I liked taking photos of the people I care about. I liked capturing moments that mattered…Feelings that…Art school just made me feel empty. I didn’t know why I was doing it anymore,” he finishes off quickly, looking away from you.

“I get that,” you smile weakly.

“But look at us now,” Bambam chuckles, lightening the mood. “We’re doing just fine on our own, aren’t we?”

You smile, glancing out the window. “Well, you are.”

“So are you! Aren’t you publishing a children’s book soon?” Bambam keeps his eyes on the road but her can see in his peripheral that you are looking at him in surprise.

“Did Mark…”

At the red light, he glances at you gently. “Your mom told mines. She brags about you when you aren’t around, you know.”

You frown, playing with the strap of the seatbelt.

“I know that’s her way of caring for me.” You finally say. “Sometimes, though, I wish she was more like your mom.”

“Well,” Bambam sends you a quick grin before turning back to the road. “If you marry me, my mom comes with the package too.”

You laugh. It rings throughout the car and sets his own heart at ease.

“You don’t have to bribe me with your mother, Bambam! If anything, I should be bribing you.”

“I’ll take it!”

“What?”

He chuckles. “Whatever the bribe is, I’ll take it. Think City Hall is still open?”

You shake your head, giggling softly. “I still don’t get you.”

“What’s there to get?”

You hum thoughtfully. “A young bachelor like you so eager to marry and me of all people? Who’s holding you against your will?”

At the next red light, Bambam steels himself and turns to you, eyes steady on yours.

“I like you. A lot. For a while now.”

Despite the dimly lit night, he can see you flush. Your fingers clutch the ends of your cardigan sleeves, a nervous habit.

When you don’t say anything, he continues. “I know your parents kind of forced you into this, but that’s not the case for me. Maybe I’m coming on too strong, This marriage arrangement thing…I get that it’s unnatural. I wish I could’ve gone about this differently, but we’re here now and I’m ready. I know you’re probably not and that’s okay, I get it. But I’m interested, I want to date, I want to go through the whole process with you. Slowly, at our own pace, and if I’m not a good fit…then that’s okay too. But I want to at least try.”

The light turns green and reluctantly, he looks away. The rest of the drive to your place is quiet. When he parks outside your apartment, he smiles as if your silence isn’t eating him alive.

“I had a really nice time, Y/N. I’m glad you came with me tonight.”

“Me too,” you reply, almost a whisper.

When you don’t say anything more, he gets out of the car and walks to your side, helping you with the door. But you don’t get up from your seat.

Instead, you turn to him, eyes staring up at him nervously.

“I like you too.”

It is soft, but his whole chest shakes. Bambam breaks into a smile of joy and relief.

He takes hold of your hand, helping you out of the car. His fingers linger, brushing softly against the tips of yours, and you smile.

“Then, I’ll see you next week at your family dinner?” he asks quietly.

You nod tentatively. You purse your lips, cheeks dimpling shyly. His heart skips as you linger, eyes shimmering under the streetlamp.

And then you lean into him, fingers clutching his and you tiptoe.

It is a fleeting touch—light and feathery on his lips—and then he blinks and you’re stepping away again.

“Night, Bambam.”

“N-night!”

He stays for ten minutes longer, waiting for the light of your apartment to flicker on, his lips still buzzing from your kiss.

Bambam’s lips sting from how much he’s been nervously biting them, the high from last week’s date now a fleeting memory. He sits at your parents’ dinner table across from you and it feels like déjà vu.

His mom laughs loudly next to him. Someone made a joke or something.

He doesn’t hear it. All he can see is the growing scowl on your face. Whatever feelings you had for him last week seem to be long gone if your expression is anything to go by.

Your mom swirls her glass of wine, leaning into his mom warmly. “When you told me you wanted my daughter to be your daughter-in-law—my daughter, for your Bambam!—I almost fainted!”

“What are you talking about? The minute I saw Y/N, I fell in love at first sight! I’m pretty sure it was the same for Bammie too.”

Bambam flushes, stuffing his cheeks with salad.

“It’s true, isn’t it?” his mom nudges him teasingly and he almost chokes but he nods adamantly towards you.

“You two are so humble,” your dad chuckles.

Your mom seems to nod in agreement. “I’m sure Bambam can find better options out there.”

“Y/N has one good trait though,” your dad adds, laughing. “She won’t cause any trouble as far as the love department goes.”

“Oh, don’t get me started, this girl is so stubborn!” your mom starts up again, waving her spoon accusingly at you. “Always work, work, work with my daughter. It’s all she cares about.”

“Oh, Bammie’s the same,” his mom cuts in, smiling amiably at you. “It’s the younger generation these days. Married to their work so to speak.”

“Bambam’s got a good head on him,” you father nods to him gruffly. “There’s a difference between working hard and working smart.”

“Unfortunately, she’s only good at working hard,” your mother sighs.

Bambam swallows thickly, gaze fixed on your expression. You’ve been chewing on the inside of your cheek since dinner started. He can see the tick in your jaw every time your parents say something mean your way.

At first, you managed to fake a few polite smiles, but now your head was fully down as you played with the rice on your plate.

“I like Y/N’s work ethic,” he finally speaks up. You finally look at him, eyes unreadable. “It’s hard work that brings talent to fruition and Y/N has both.”

Your gaze lingers on him.

“If we’re talking about talent though, we have to talk about your business!” Your mom breaks the air and the ghost of your smile completely vanishes from your face. You don’t look at him for the rest of dinner.

“Ready for dessert?” your mom asks after everyone was done eating.

You scoot your chair, rising from your seat. “Actually, I’m not feeling so well.”

“Oh, are you okay sweetheart?” his mother asks.

You smile apologetically, “So sorry to have to leave first.”

“Of course, honey! Bammie, why don’t you bring her home?”

“Oh no, that’s alright.”

“No, no, let me.” Bambam rises from his seat and takes hold of your hand. He gives you an encouraging squeeze. “Thank you for the meal! I’ll get her home safely.”

When you exit the house, you slip your hand from his. He pretends not to notice, leading you to his car quietly.

“Congratulations to our one and only Bambam for winning the Artisan Award, one of the most prestigious art scholarships in the nation.”

The morning announcement rings in his ears and his homeroom bursts in a parade of cheers and congratulations, but his heart lurches and he thinks of you.

He is reminded of the hours you spent afterschool every day in the art studio, working on pieces for your portfolio. He thinks of all the different art programs you attended during school holidays. He remembers your mother’s voice and the way you’d repeat those words during your late-night Instagram messages.

When he sees you at the bus stop immediately after school instead of in the studio, he almost turns the other way, but your eyes meet his and goes to stand next to you instead. You only give him a slight nod before returning to your phone.

It feels like a long time before the bus arrives.

You sit where you always do, near the back, beside the window. He takes the row of seats across from you.

His stomach twists with guilt when he watches your profile. You can probably feel his stare, but you continue to look straight ahead anyways. You’re probably trying hard to look unbothered, but he can see your disappointment clearly. There’s a slouch in your shoulders, a faint frown tilting the edges of your lips.

You are disappointed and probably dislike him right now.

He wonders if you’ll tell him about this over Instagram. He doesn’t know if Muse_ig will be able to console you this time around. He wishes he had the right words to say, but his throat constricts instead.

When your stop arrives, his eyes follow your back as you stand at the door and he beats himself up for having stayed quiet. And when the bus creeps to stop, you hesitate, before turning back to him.

“Congrats, by the way,” you offer him a small smile. “You deserved it.”

You step off the bus before he can say anything back.

You take a different route home for the rest of the school year.

At the red light, Bambam looks over at you. You continue looking straight ahead. There’s a sadness beneath your schooled expression, he can feel this in his gut, but he doesn’t know what to say.

“Y/N,” he starts hesitantly.

“The light’s green,” you interrupt.

He turns his attention back to the room. His gut clenches.

“Cupcake!” he blurts, gripping the wheel.

Your head turns abruptly. “What?”

“C-Cupcake, my cat,” he continues, not quite sure where he’s going with this. “You met her last time.”

After a pause, you reply back, “Yeah, I did.”

“I gave her a haircut. A really bad one. She had a bald spot, so I had to bring her to the groomers to get it fixed,” he rambles. “They tried their best, but she looks really awful right now. It’s pretty funny actually.”

You let out a soft chuckle. “Poor Cupcake.”

He glances at you briefly, his chest fluttering at the sight of your smile again. “You wanna go see my cats? I heard petting cats is therapeutic, although, not much to pet right now.”

Finally, you laugh.

“Sure, why not.”

When you finally get to his place, he knows he said the right thing. You sit on his couch, surrounded by his cats and a soft smile on your face.

“Awful, isn’t it?” he asks, taking a seat next to you. King jumps into his lap and he scoots closer to you.

“Absolutely terrible,” you chuckle, petting Cupcake gently.

“But you’re feeling better, aren’t you?”

You let out a quiet sigh.

“Bambam,” you look at him and his heart drops. “Maybe we should just stop this.”

“Fourteen!”

Your brows arch. “You really need to stop saying things without context.”

He puts King aside and grabs hold of your hand like a lifeline.

“I was fourteen. You mouthed my name on the first day of school. That’s when I started liking you.”

You blink up at him in surprise.

“The painting and photography club had to share the same classroom and I knew you just became the president. I did my brother’s chores for three weeks just so I could borrow his old camera,” he looks at you nervously. “I wasn’t planning on falling for photography. You’re the reason I’m where I’m at today.”

“Y-you’re giving me too much credit.”

He holds your hands tighter, shaking his head.

“Your parents have a screwed-up way of measuring your worth, but I don’t care about your job or how famous you are. I care about the girl who mouthed my name and made me feel special. You’ve always been kind to me, taking me seriously when no one else in our grade did. You were the first person to like my photos and you’ve always encouraged me, even though it came at the cost of your own feelings.” He looks at you seriously, “But it shouldn’t. I don’t want to compete against you, Y/N. I want to be on your side.”

“On my side?” you repeat, looking at your intertwined fingers.

“On your side, by your side,” he whispers. “You’re my muse, my first love, first heartbreak. I’d like you to be my last everything too.”

There’s a pause and his chest aches from the silence.

But then he sees it.

Your dimpled cheek.

“So, you had a crush on me since high school?”

He huffs. “That’s what you got from all that?”

You answer with a giggle, dimpled cheeks and very soft lips on his.

#got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #got7 reactions #bambam #fluff #fanfic #marriage life au

72 notes · View notes