#so i kind of read her as autistic but not labelled so because it's a fantasy book

[libraryleopard]

Young adult fantasy novel

In a world where an order of nuns train to fight the ravenous ghosts that roam the land, a young trainee awakens an ancient spirit from a saint’s relic and must harness its power to defeat an ominous enemy growing in power

Immersive world-building & a thoughtful exploration of religion and childhood trauma

TFW the ancient entity of dark power residing in your brain forces you to practice self care

Aroace-coded main character (also maybe autistic/neurodivergent-coded?)

No romance

[room-surprise]

New Ryoko Kui Interview from Anime Expo 2024 (Summary/Commentary)

This interview is unintentionally hilarious. It's much shorter than the other interview, and every question was met with either a polite non-answer or a flat-out "No." Kui embodied this elf lady she drew for the entire thing:

Kui really wasn't having any of it. Every time the interviewer tried to ask a leading question about things the fandom thinks are extremely central to the manga, Kui basically answered no/I don't care/You're overthinking it/I wasn't suggesting what you're assuming I was suggesting.

My summary/commentary of the interview under the cut.

Please keep in mind these are my opinions, based on my knowledge of Japanese social conventions, and how I personally read the interview!

Q: Dungeon Meshi is about the power of eating in groups/family, do you have any food memories or recipes you can share with us that are important to you? A: No. (In other interviews Kui has stated that she doesn't like eating, other people seeing her eat, or watching others eat, and that she used to eat her meals in the toilet to avoid being around other people during meals. This is a common thing people who are shy, bullied, or socially avoidant do in Japan.)

Q: What meal in DM do you want to eat? A: None of them, I'm a picky eater.

Q: You obviously love TTRPGs. A: Uh...Not really... I've never played one, I just read about them for research purposes. (In other interviews Kui has stated she's never played a TTRPG because she doesn't have friends she can do it with. The fact that so many people in the world do have that many friends they are that close to was very shocking to her. She was amazed that people would actually role-play in front of other people. This, plus other things Kui has said in the past ("I'm not good at human relationships"), suggests that she's not very socially active.)

Q: Your fantasy ecosystem is so complex, how did you build it? A: I though about it, and then I used my imagination. (This is kind of an ice-cold burn. Like a writer saying "I wrote one word, and then another, and then I kept adding words until the book was done.")

Q: Do you love monsters as much as Laios? A: No. But I do like them a lot, and I've loved them since I was a kid.

Q: How'd you design Laios' ultimate monster? A: I used the childhood memory of wanting to design the coolest, strongest monster.

Q: A lot of fans think Laios is autistic, especially because of his fight with Toshiro. A: I wrote him to be a normal guy that anyone can relate to. I don't think he's special or unusual. Both he and Toshiro have problems and they both need to work on communicating better. (Kui saying she didn't write Laios as autistic doesn't mean you should shit on other fans who read him as autistic. All it means is that he's not canonically autistic, and you can't say "Laios being autistic is the foundation of the entire manga." Kui saying that she didn't intentionally write Laios as autistic doesn't invalidate the interpretation, it just means saying Laios is autistic is an interpretation, and not a concrete fact. Also worth noting that labeling Laios as autistic might come across as very rude for a Japanese person. Kui may not want to call Laios autistic due to social stigma.)

Q: Tell us about the Senshi fanservice. A: Calling it "fanservice" feels wrong to me. He's just an older man who doesn't care if people see his underwear, something I've experienced in real life. It might make some people uncomfortable but Senshi's just living his life, I thought that was funny. Laios is a bit uncomfortable seeing people in their underwear. (Holy shit. This answer is the equivalent of Kui firing a shotgun directly in the interviewer's face and screaming "it's not fucking fanservice." She's being VERY direct for a Japanese person, and implying that she doesn't like people calling the Senshi pantyshots fanservice, that she sees them as comedy.)

Q: But Senshi's handsome isn't he? A: All dwarves are handsome :) (This is a complete non-answer, and after that previous answer, it's very likely Kui is trying to brush the interviewer off. This is most likely Kui saying "Please stop this line of questioning/I don't want to talk about this anymore.")

Q: What inspired Marcille's dungeon lord dress? Her friends all make fun of her but I thought it looked nice. A: There's no specific reference. I made it up to look like her mom's dress and added a childish head covering. The dress is totally normal, her friends making fun of Marcille is a joke. They're just not used to seeing Marcille in that kind of clothing, so it seems weird to them. They don't actually think the dress is that strange or uncool.

Q: Did you expect the strong fan reaction to Marcille and Falin's relationship? A: I don't think about how the fans will react when I'm writing. (Another complete non-answer. She doesn't want to discuss the topic of Farcille and avoids it like a landmine. Honestly, good for her. She wants fans to feel free to think what they want and have their own interpretations.)

Q: Will you write a spin-off about Izutsumi getting revenge on the person who made her? A: Maybe, maybe not. Probably not. I think Izutsumi's pretty happy as she is and just wants to live her life.

In short, Kui's reaction to a lot of the fandom opinion questions was:

EDIT: Also, looking at the headline/page summary for the article, it's uh...insanely misleading.

"We sat down with Kui-sensei at Anime Expo 2024 to discuss the community of food, why Senshi is so sexy, seeing neurodivergence in Laios, and more." Kui literally said no in response to all of those questions, this summary of their own interview implies that there was anything discussed, and not just Kui telling them "no" to each question.

[raggedytiger]

ragatha/agatha and pomni/penny human hcs!

(r)agatha:

is an english teacher!

yes she still loves horses. she used to ride them, & she loves old western movies.

owns cowboy hat and boots.

analytical and loves long & winding conversations.

has a very happy cat named sandwich.

patches her own clothes, doesn't have kids but if she did she would embroider their names into their belongings.

she still plays cello, she loves music in general, probably sings like an angel.

can't do any mathematics.

can drive, but like a lunatic. somehow has never had an accident though, so it's fine.

probably has a cute little baby blue/yellow car now, but definitely had a beat up offroader truck at some point that got put to good use. or maybe she still does, i'm not the boss.

total lesbian, a bit of a heartbreaker but not intentionally (women just keep falling for her)

goes to town/neighbourhood/community meetings. likely is/was in a knitting circle

absurd number of quilts in her home

pomni/penny:

is an accountant as we know, and cannot cook for shit as we know.

no pets she can barely take herself for walks. is more similar to a cat, but had a dog growing up. would love a collie or a dalmatian probably.

would name the dog something stupid like Thermometer Johnson.

she can drive, but nervously.

really quick thinker, like impressively, unless she's under HUGE amounts of stress. is literally always thinking at 100mph.

no sense of interior decor or personal style. all practical, kind of butch. really does kill a suit.

very much lesbian but not fully to terms with it. probably had short-lived relationships with men in which she was 'content' but didn't really care for it. seeing agatha as agatha for the first time was probably a crazy punch to her little gay heart. not to mention the cowboy gear.

autistic

watches 90s anime to wind down

listens to every single genre of music. passes a lot of time with headphones in, slowly making her way thru the entire world's discography

owns no band merch or anything though she just listens

can't sleep without a fan on, thunderstorm 12hr audio, blackout curtains, weighted blanket, water nearby

does not sleep a lot

both of them (going to call them pomni and ragatha for convenience):

didn't immediately recognise one another. i havent got an exact idea of how they reunited after getting out, but there were tears.

bonded in a very rare and unique way - they got to revel in the newfound joys of real life again. they got to eat delicious food, go on long, unobstructed walks in the real sun, be warmed by it, chew on ice cubes and shiver at the pain, listen to each other's heartbeats, listen to real music, read real books, smell soaps and flowers and sauces. they went to the supermarket together and read all the labels, and bought one of each type of fruit to try between them, and smelled all the candles, and touched all the blankets. spent a lot of time holding hands and kissing and i'm sorry to say, probably having sex, because holy shit, i'm real, you're real, we're real

now live together in ragatha's apartment, after pomni moved out of her small and confusingly-furnished flat.

both of them feel inadequate from time to time. this is resolved by a stern-but-loving talking-to.

sandwich likes pomni very much. pomni doesn't really get cats, but loves sandwich a great deal, and enjoys letting her sleep on her lap.

ragatha is very pleased to see her girls getting along.

ragatha cooks, pomni chops the veg. she often doesn't fuck it up

pomni cleans a lot as a 'thank you for letting me live here, i love you'. she's very much acts of service, ragatha is words & physical touch <3

they watch a lot of movies together. depending on how long they've been stuck, they might have culture to catch up on

ragatha wants to have a house with a garden one day. pomni starts germinating seeds from their fruit & veg like a weird science experiment. ragatha is delighted when she is presented with a baby tomato plant.

clothes are shared. ragatha's are bigger, but most of pomni's are ill-fitting anyway so it can go both ways. ragatha likes to dress pomni up in different outfits and have her do a little fashion show. pomni pretends not to savour the confidence boost.

pomni starts sleeping more

[your--isgayrights]

wait IS jhy confirmed trans? i was interpreting that way but it seemed like translation confusion when i read it. i'd be so happy if that was true ;o;

Short answer: JHY is definitely a woman, early translation confusion was largely due to the fact that Korean doesn't necessitate gendered pronouns as much as English, she is never specifically called transgender but her portrayal represents a lot of trans experiences and I choose to interpret her as transgender.

Long Answer:

Jang Hayoung as a character represents the webnovel catagory of 'transmigration,' wherein a character from 'the real world' wakes up in the body of a 'character' and must navigate their life. Jang Hayoung was a transcendent reborn into the body of Aileen Makerfield's 15 year old 'son' Aslan in the demon realm. To my understanding, Jang Hayoung's gender previous to her transmigration is unclear, it's possible that she was a cis woman in her first life. Hayoung (or Hayeong) is commonly from 夏榮 with the meaning 'glory of summer' and generally has a feminine connotation. Regardless, after her transmigration she has to face the dysphoria and challenges of 'spiritually' being a 23 year old woman in the body of a 15 year old 'boy,' and the interactions she has with other characters are easy to recognize trans experiences in to me.

Throughout 'episode 43' her gender is discussed a lot. YJH who has little concept of transmigration calls Jang Hayoung a weak 'guy' and a 'rude jerk,' to which Jang Hayoung replies 'actually I'm a bitch.' It's also shown around this time that through the scenarios, transformation of the body is possible to the point of changing gender representation, as Yoo Joonghyuk takes on the 'Punisher' persona while enduring a punishment for rescuing Kim Dokja. Afterwards, Jang Hayoung says something to the effect of 'no matter what your body is, if you are a girl you are a girl no matter what' and YJH vehemently agrees with her, leaving Kim Dokja very confused. My interpretation of this scene is that YJH gains experience of what Jang Hayoung feels being seen as 'the wrong gender' because of her body when he presents as the punisher because he still feels he is the same person as before, but I've seen other interpretations of Transfem-coded YJH that also make a lot of sense.

It's also good to note that in Korean gendered pronouns are not used as frequently, so Jang Hayoung confused many translators because her use of exclusively feminine pronouns is not confirmed until the first chapter told from her third person POV, after which most translators switched their pronoun choices for her.

For me ORV's interpretation of JHY's transmigration falls into a lot of the transgendery feelings that I have. One time a girl in a psych class asked my professor why there were so many genderqueer autistic people when one of the major symptoms of autism is struggling with changes and I had to get on my soapbox of like, to be honest I feel like I never really changed but suddenly everyone else around me did. Like it was never important to me whether I was a 'girl' or a 'boy' because basically those were like teams to be on in elementary school and it didn't matter. But then I was growing up and it was kind of like... There was something just so soul crushing to me about the idea of growing up to be a "woman" as opposed to growing up to be a "man," as arbitrary as those labels can be it just does mean something to me. Choosing to be a guy and let myself orient my experiences and social life around that concept just feels right and makes it easier to be myself without being misunderstood by others. So for me the idea that someone with kind of reverse feelings from me who has always been a woman having to endure the experience of being in the role of a 'prepubescent boy' is pretty representative of A Transgender Experience even if that language is not specifically used. It's also a lot more compassionate than representation seen in other works, or even earlier in ORV itself, and I think my favorite thing was Kim Dokja being told he was a dumbass for thinking a woman wasn't a woman just because she was in a 'boy's body,' lol.

[blackautmedia]

Janine and Gregory - the portrayal of Autism in Abbott Elementary

Video made a while back but am trying to get my uploads shared! In this video, we discuss disability representation in media, a lot of issues in how characters explicitly confirmed to be autistic are portrayed (ex. Hero Elementary, the Proud Family reboot, etc.) and how Janine and Gregory give some interesting insights into being Black and autistic.

Some Excerpts:

Disability coding is only a form of subtext. It doesn't substitute hiring disabled people who make about a quarter of the population and are systemically excluded from these roles. Tyler James Williams to my knowledge is not autistic or if he is he's not public about it, though he does have Crohn's disease.

The biggest way I identify with reading Janine as an autistic Black woman is in the amount of hate she gets from many viewers who specifically hone in on her lack of social cues, body language, and personality that they find incredibly annoying because these are the exact ways people talk about real-life autistic people when we unmask for even a second.

Gregory doesn't get the same amount of the pushback or hate that Jacob and Janine get, but it's also important to note that literally his entire characters centers heavily around an autistic Black man made to mask regularly. There's a reason he was so hesitant to share that he didn't like pizza.

Janine gets the load of pushback he doesn't largely because she's a woman who doesn't mask.

Any time you point out the latest thing labeled "cringe" or "annoying" or "chronically online" are overwhelmingly traits associated with disabled people, out come the people saying "well, I wasn't talking about you" and that's kind of the problem because disabled people are so rarely considered in most circumstances.

Chadwick Boseman was treated this way when people were mocking him for his thinner appearance and making all sorts of memes. But then he showed that he had cancer and suddenly then were they sympathetic. Disabled people don't owe you a specific performance of their disability to be treated with respect.

[drdemonprince]

I just got your piece The Asexual Fetishist in my inbox and wanted to send you a quick thank you for breaking my brain open with that one. I've spent years trying to square my desire for novel sexual experiences/specific kink related interests with not actually being sexually attracted to other people. I've consumed a lot of content by asexuals about kink and the like but having someone actually explain their experience with their fetish and its impact on their sexual life has never popped up in my perusing. I've had a lot of hang ups about the asexual label so I haven't dug too deep. This has definitely inspired me do more than a cursory exploration and I will definitely be giving Ana Valens work a read. Thanks again!

yeahhhh!!!! I love to hear it, thank you. Ana Valens' writing is GREAT and seeing her, a very outspoken and proud perv and accused "degenerate" claim the asexual label made me feel better about revisiting it, too. Others land on a different way of describing themselves -- Cosima Bimbotheory for example says that while in contemporary parlance she qualifies as ace spectrum / demisexual, she instead identifies more with leathersex, because the leather community has always made space for boundary-breaking ways of achieving intimacy, and has always included people who have sex without "having sex." I don't think these views are incompatible, hence my inclusion of vintage leather exhibitionist porn That Boy in my essay as an example of what Valens calls Ace Erotics.

I got my start as a queer kid on the asexuality forums of the early 2000s -- before I had the language of being autistic or trans or unempathic, ace spaces were the only community where I could easily express feeling outside and beyond what normal human beings were expected to feel. And so I still find I have a home there.

I think asexuality gets clowned on far too much -- there is this annoying tendency to equate people having bad opinions or doing annoying shit with their identities, and so aces get written off as sex-shamey scolds and enbies get characterized as anti medical transition and all other kinds of dumb shit like that, often from people who should know better. im here to say you can be an asexual free use hole and that is actually not confusing at all if a person actually considers what asexual means.

heres the link to the essay, for the curious

[atthelowestfromao3]

About atthelowest

Hey! This is Alice or atthelowest, I'm new here (and don't know how to properly use this app or Twitter for the matter) but like I wanted to promote my first fic ever on AO3. You can call me she/her, girl, Alice, atthelowest if you like have any questions or even a request (maybe for a future fic? Idk kkk let's see how I do in my first one first). First of all, Im twenty so my fics may be heated in the future (idk we will see how it goes y'all but like yeah) so please properly check the tags of the fics (or don't I'm not your mom). Second of all, I would like to say that I don't usually like to label myself because like I don't think I know enough about the LGBTQ+ community but I guess you could call me bi or at the least I guess my friends who understand about such important matters do (hey, Ive been reading educational stuff and articles give me a break its a slow process but I don't think I know enough to say properly), idk y'all I like girls and boys and don't judge anyone and like want everyone to be happy. I read ALL kinds of pairings. Not that any of this is like your business, but I wanted to introduce myself so you don't think that it's a robot. In third place, Im autistic, have anxiety and ADHD so like if I don't express myself properly or like was mean to you I probably didn't mean it (unless you are a sexist transphobe racist homophobic pig). Also, English is not my first language, Im Brazilian y'all. I started to write my first fanfic because MHA has ended and because like Ive read sooooooo much fanfic on ao3 and I was so sad it ended and like wanted to gift you all bakudeku, bkdk, idk Tumblr has so much names twitter too I prefer it on ao3 where is like Bakugou Katsuki/Izuku Midoriya wayyyy easier (also I don't understand y'all way of tagging I, for myself, read all kinds of variants like sometimes Katsuki tops, sometimes its Deku, sometimes one of them is trans, sometimes they are both girls, sometimes its with one as male the other as female, idc I love them together). I read other ships too but they are one of my favorite couples (I also love dickbabs very much). In fourth place, Im amazed by the fanart, the memes, the ideas both here and on Twitter. There was a huge part of the fandom I was missing (when I rarely saw art on a fic I thought it was like from Pinterest sue me and never clicked in links that take you out of ao3 because I found them suspicious). Anyways, Im losing myself here. What I mean is: Im so grateful for all the fics, fanart, everything related to them that feels like these open love letters for this ship that I also wanted to give a gift to y'all (its my love language) so I created my fic! I also wanted to contribute some way! Sending much love to y'all and appreciation for us who ship Bakugou Katsuki/Izuku Midoriya.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I'm off to fringe for a few days soon, do you have any recommendations on who to see this year?

I have no idea of what kind of comedy you like, but I do have a few! Although if you ask me in a week I may have more, as my husband will have had chance to see more and rec them to me; I'll be going up later in the month. But I have seen some in preview and heard great things about others.

Steffan Alun: Free Stand-Up Will Blow Your Mind. 11.45am, Just the Tonic at the Mash House.

Very good show this year, and when I saw it in final preview a woman in front of me very literally cried with laughter at one point, and had to take her glasses off to dry her face. It's about approaching middle age and wondering if you're a role model, and it's his usual style: very anecdotal, lil bit moral and political, very optimistic, and very Welsh. Owing to some Fringe Bollocks he's not in a great time slot, so every audience member is very appreciated this year, because it's a fantastic show that deserves more coverage than it's going to get (why do we even HAVE morning time slots...)

Josh Elton: Mountain Jew. 13.45, Brewdog

Another one I've seen in preview! Josh is a Welsh Jewish comedian and his show this year is about labels, and the benefits and drawbacks of them (eventually examining his own). It's charming and irreverent and makes good points while being hilarious.

Cerys Bradley: Not Overthinking Things 2019. 15.30, the Alcove at Laughing Horse @ Bar 50

A Tumblr darling, if only Tumblr kept up with comedy outside of famous TV comedians. Cerys is NB and autistic and had one of my favourite shows last year - it was about how they joined a women's rugby team and had to navigate being unfit, socially awkward, and trans. It was amazing. According to Steff, this year's show is even better, so it's first on my own list to watch when I get the chance. (Also Cerys is an absolute delight on a personal level. This is rare in a comedian. I mean, so is everyone else on this list, but eh.)

Jake Baker: Alone Together. 17.30, Just the Tonic at the Caves.

Another I saw in preview and Very Enjoyed! Gently political but charmingly whimsical and extremely funny, and I saw a relatively early preview so it'll be even better now. Jake has a really lovely stage presence, kind of sweet and slightly shy, which means you feel at ease but are therefore floored all the more when the bigger hooks come. Really good show.

Priya Hall: Grandmother's Daughter. 16.20, Monkey Barrel 2.

God, I remember when Priya did her fifth ever gig. At the end the MC, pro Welsh comic Matt Rees, got up to see her off the stage, and once she'd sat down he went "So...was that really your fifth gig?" And when she said yes, he said "Because... I don't know if anyone has told you yet, but... it's considered courtesy among comedians if, when you're starting out, you remember to be shit for a while."

We knew she'd be going places, is what I'm saying

Anyway, she's doing her debut! And I believe it's about her quest with her girlfriend to become parents, while talking about the role her Indian grandmother played in her Welsh family. I haven't seen it yet but I intend to.

Sooz Kempner: Y2K Woman. 15.45, Underbelly, Bristo Square

They've all been free or pay what you want so far, but this is the first of two ticketed shows in the Big Four that I'll flag up. £11 a standard ticket, £10 a concession, but with the Big Four keep an eye on the specials board - plus they often do two for one offers on tickets on Mondays and Tuesdays, so see if her show is included in that.

It's about late 90s/early 00s nostalgia, and also the fact that she's starring in a really interesting Doctor Who mixed media spin off project atm that hardcore Doctor Who fans hate and are furious about for reasons of being boring nerds with zero fun.

Alice Fraser: Twist. 20.30, Underbelly, Bristo Square

Honest to God the woman is just. A master. A maestro. A goddess of comedy. She could read the phone book and you'd be in hysterics, plus rolling around on the floor. You could receive news that every single person you'd ever met and liked had all been accidentally jettisoned into space in a freak accident involving a Tesla crashing into a SpaceX rocket, and you'd still laugh yourself sick at her show. She's breathtaking. Go and see her.

[self-winding]

I think the helpfulness of NPD (and probably BPD) as a diagnostic tool is outweighed by how easily it can be weaponized as a quick and convenient means to dehumanize people...both those who do and those who don't actually have the conditions in question.

A very common tactic of abusers and gaslighters is trying to convince their victims that they have NPD as a way of de-legitimizing their feelings or thoughts. (This happened to someone in my family recently.)

I recently read a long post from an autistic woman who was misdiagnosed at one point with BPD. She described the way the diagnosis itself made everything worse, how it changed the way people treated her, how her panic attacks and distress at sensory overload was re-categorized as manipulative or attention-seeking behavior.

And the issue is not just that people frequently gets misdiagnosed, it's that people who are accurately diagnosed are also going through this. A diagnosis is meant to be a tool for helping the individual. If it's not doing that, there's a problem.

The fact that a diagnostic label can so quickly ruin a person's life, that abusers can so easily use it to control their victims, doesn't automatically mean that the diagnosis itself doesn't describe a real set of traits or tendencies. But it should make us very cautious and suspicious about how it's used.

Personality disorders, though they can't be "cured," are not and should not be some kind of social death sentence. People can learn new habits and modify problem behaviors. And more people would probably seek treatment if there was a reasonable hope that their lives would be improved by seeking treatment.

Currently, though, people with these conditions have an incentive to avoid seeking treatment at all cost, because they know what will happen to them if they do.

[love-toxin]

As someone who is on both the ADHD and autism spectrums, but wishes to remain anonymous....

Would the fruity four still... like me? Even if I'm weird and stim with my hands? Or if I say weird things and curse creatively? It's been a massive self esteem battle for me, because both of the people that I dated previously left me when I confided in them that I was on both the ADHD and autism spectrums....

first of all, im so sorry that happened my love! nobody deserves that, especially not such a sweet person <3 ty for sending me this ask not only bc you're giving me a reason to self-indulgently write about the fruity four with an autistic angel, but also bc!!! we're really alike!!! i love knowing there's somebody i can relate to out there 🥺🥺

I'll start off by saying; yes, of course! The fruity four are strong personalities and people, they have a bond with you that couldn't be broken by something like that, because it's part of what makes you you–and that's exactly what they love! The very thought of giving up on their true love because of a label is just bonkers, it makes no sense and they would be echoing that to you whenever you feel insecure about it. Also, let it be known that I'm totally on the train of headcanoning both Eddie and Robin as being on the spectrum. I like to think Eddie's stronger on the autistic side, whereas Robin is more adhd with her social skills being more pronouncedly autistic. So with this in mind, I think they'd already be very sensitive to whatever your personal experiences are on either spectrum! And they can relate to you inherently a lot better than most people, including both Nancy and Steve.

Not to say that those two are oblivious or apathetic, however, because they certainly are not! They just don't have the same experiences to empathize with you, so they've gotta put a little more work in to help themselves understand how you operate. Your boundaries are a relatively easy thing to start off with; they're something they've probably already gone over, just not as in-depth as they're used to. You might sit there shy and a little teary-eyed even, worrying yourself to death that they're going to laugh at you or make fun of the things that you say you need or that bother you, but Nancy and Steve will be so patient in listening and Robin and Eddie will encourage you to say everything that comes to mind. Your shared space is always a safe space, there's no fear of abandonment or rejection that you need to worry about here, and they'll do as much reassuring as it takes until you really feel comfortable and secure in knowing that. No moment of irritation or frustration or any meltdown will scare them away, no matter how big it gets. And they'll never think of you as childish for anything that you do or anything you get upset about.

Nancy's probably one of the easiest people to confide in about being on the spectrum, as a person who isn't perceivably on it herself. Even though she doesn't experience life in the same way you do, she's a fantastic listener and she treats your explanations and understanding your neurodivergency almost like a hobby in itself. When you mention some term or new behavior that you can't put a name to, she's off to the library to research anything and everything that has to do with autism and adhd–and soon she's the one coming to you not just with questions, but new information she picked up and surveys she wants to do to compare your personal experience to the studies she reads, to see if what's been published is accurate to the real-life experience. And you can damn well bet she's committing a bit of library graffiti in her chosen books if she comes across insensitive articles or tampered studies, or really anything that suggests that autism is some kind of disease or that it's a walking death sentence to any poor parent that finds their child is diagnosed with. She'll scratch out those horrid comments and outright false statements and write the corrections in the margins so long as she has the evidence, to the point that she pouts when she gets banned from borrowing any books for a month when she gets caught. "It was worth it," she insists, more concerned with getting the truth out there than being lectured by the crotchety old librarian–and you can bet she'll stand by her opinions even in public, even with strangers and ill-mannered people, because knowing you feel safe and wanted matters more to her than smiling and nodding along.

The only one that might be put off is Steve, but not in a bad way, and only at first. He's not as used to the way you and Eddie socialize, primarily because he's grown up and has gotten adjusted to the ways that neurotypical kids interact with each other. The way he carries himself and how he speaks to people is what he thinks is normal, so while he sees bluntness or awkward wording or seemingly oblivious social cues as abnormal, he doesn't think it's a bad thing at all. Clearly by the way he and Eddie exchanged conversation when they first met, he's more endeared by it than anything else, even though it takes him more time to understand it. He's used to picking between the lines of conversation to pick up cues and body language of whatever the other person isn't saying out loud, but luckily he's quick to realize that you don't necessarily speak the same way, and he just has to listen to you to know what you're trying to say. And once he learns about masking and sees you slowly become more comfortable with not doing it around him, he gets soooooo excited because he really feels like you're bonding, then, and that you trust him enough to stim or chatter on around him!

And with Eddie and Robin? They're so tuned in it's honestly hilarious. Eddie's constantly on the hunt for things he knows are part of your special interests–he finds little pieces of merch from bands or shows or movies you like, or things that are your favourite colour that he thinks you'll like. And he knows what your favourite animals are and what fabrics and textures you like, and pretty much anything and everything that has to do with your interests is noted down so he can use the information to his advantage. Robin's the same way, although you and her can talk for hours about the things you're passionate about, to the point that you both might forget to eat or sleep until exhaustion finally takes over, and you pass out in her bed or on the couch together.

Also, stimming? It's a normal thing in the household, and they will absolutely make sure that you feel like it's normal. Eddie tugs on his hair and plays with his watch, flaps his hands, claps, cracks his knuckles–and Robin has a few vocal stims like humming or making other little sounds through her teeth, aside from spinning her rings around and sometimes pacing around in circles with music or a movie on in the background. If you're restless and you move around a lot while they're cuddling with you, they get used to it quickly, and if you have days where you just absolutely do not want to be touched, they know that it's not personal and don't get offended if that goes on for awhile. It's the nice thing about having multiple partners, none of you really need to worry about feeling lonely or not having someone to confide in when someone isn't able to.

It's just a good time all around, really. They love you, you make them happy, and there's too much bad in this world for them to toss aside someone that really cares for them. Besides, how different are you from them, really? Each of them have things to deal with that frustrate them sometimes, or make them feel like they're a burden themselves. It's just a matter of accepting it, coping with it, and moving along, and letting the cycle repeat as many times as it needs to to let you enjoy life with the people you love.

[bluegoblinfox]

Non verbal or not non verbal?

I've really struggled to express this and why I am having difficulty with not using the term become non-verbal. I'm gen x and I'm trying to understand. Please be kind.

This it's been a part of my life always really. It's just when it got to this point I would hide away my own. It wasn't really an issue in my day-to-day life because I was masking so much. However I would burn out and need to take days and days off work to recover on I've regular basis. Places of work don't like this.

When my daughter was unwell and I was caring for her full time and intensively, I became very burnt out. I Began noticing that I would start to do what I called- loose my words. It would be like there was a fog in my brain between what I was thinking and feeling and putting that into language and then expressing that in words. At its best this would just be a verbal difficulty and at its worse I couldn't communicate in writing either.

When my daughter hit crisis, so did I. When she went into a crisis house and then went into a psychiatric unit, I began to notice the periods of me having difficulty expressing myself with words was becoming more frequent. As I said at best this was a shutdown verbally and at worse it was an inability to communicate using language at all.

It seems like the more stressed I was, the more stressful the situation was, the more emotive situation was and the more communicating I needed to do, the more difficulty communicating I had.

I still have these issues. I can feel them coming on most of the time. When it's all getting too much and I'm shutting down and my communication ability shuts down too. I still use the phrase losing words. However most people don't understand what that means and what it means for me.

I have used the phrase becoming non-verbal to describe my difficulties during these periods. I have recently read on Tumblr from people who are non-verbal all of the time that this is offensive. I don't fully understand at the moment why that is but I want to understand.

I don't feel the term semi verbal quite describes me as the majority of the time I can communicate using my voice and typing. I don't feel the term selective mute is an adequate definition of what it is I experience. I don't know I could be wrong on this.

I don't want to use language which detracts from other autistic's experiences or obstructs understanding. I do however need to use words that other people generally are able to understand the meaning of.

I think discourse is important. It is vital to establish a shared and precise comprehension of the meanings of words. It is equally important to grasp their significance within different social groups. These meanings contribute to the associated ideas, assumptions, and stereotypes related to those words. The common understanding of these words and any prevalent stereotypical beliefs associated with the group they describe can unfortunately result in discrimination and prejudiced actions.

However I don't believe in the gatekeeping of terms, definitions, labels, over who can use them.

I am queer and there are many definitions of what that means. However generally it means not cis-heterosexual.

Queerness like autism is a spectrum consisting of many parts. My queerness is more evident in some parts of my life and less so in others. My autism is impacts me to different degrees in different areas of my life. I am 100% autistic and I am 100% queer. Both those labels apply to me as an individual, as ways of describing my gender identity and sexuality succinctly and as a way of describing my neurotype succinctly.

People are argue all the time about who has the right to use these labels. I don't care if you are self-diagnosed autistic I think that is just as valid as a diagnostic label. I don't care why or for how long or when you decide that you identify as queer. It is just as valid to decide that you are queer in your teens or when you're 50.

I experience not being able to use language verbally at times. I don't understand at present why it would be offensive or wrong for me to say I experience becoming non-verbal at times. As this is a succinct and well understood way of describing this experience in a way that others can understand.

If someone can explain this issue to me in a way that makes sense and can suggest another way of me explaining my experience and getting my point across regarding my support needs to people in general without saying I have periods where I am non-verbal, then I will stop using that term.

[damnfandomproblems]

Rounding up a few asks regarding Fandom Problem #5724 and ensuing replies.

Anon: (replying to this ask)

you are engaging with the fiction in a purely diegetic sense without thinking about how it interacts with reality. yes, vulcans are not autistic. but Spock was written by human writers, based on their experiences in exclusively human culture. Spock is not autistic in the canon of star trek, but it is absurd to claim that he was not inspired by, nor is metaphorical for, autistic experiences. also, what does Dan Olson's character have to do with the validity of that hypothesis?

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Anon:

Response to the headcanons asks. The issue I personally have is when people claim their "character X is autistic" headcanon is canon. There's this TV show where one character is thought to be autistic by a lot of people in the fandom. He is not autistic in canon. People just think he is due to certain traits of his. Which would be fine, except if anyone ever says they find the character annoying, or they dislike some of these traits of this character, these fans jump up and call you ableist. By all means, have your headcanons, but you don't get to make accusations against people just because they dislike things about a character that you identify with.

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Anon:

Hi, the "Spock is Human and Vulcan" anon that I think I started the whole ableism argument thing here. I realized I didn't explain that last part very well and want to clear it up. The ask was a rant about how the submitter omitted facts about Spock's heritage in order to justify why he can't be autistic, which to me came off as both racist and ableist (because intersectionality! You can be multiple things lmao). Disagreeing over headcanons is valid, but when you use racist and ableist arguments to do so, then it starts to be a problem. And I question why some people get so upset about neurodivergent fans seeing themselves within a character. Also, perhaps we should bring back the term "allegory". I'm not actually an expert on autism so I'm not going to diagnose Spock or make headcanons, but, I can acknowledge that he can be an allegory for autism because of the traits he exhibits, his behaviors, and challenges he faces, which people, and especially autistic people, can relate to. It's like how Jadzia is a transgender allegory because of the way in which her species and culture works, even if she herself isn't transgender. Once again, it shouldn't be used against fans who do headcanon a certain way, but idk maybe it can clear up confusion?

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Anon: (replying to this ask)

Autism can be a huge part of peoples' identity, but that OOP person said "leave labels out of it" because that's literally what people are doing with characters: labeling them as this or that. Categorizing them. As autistic, or as anything. Surely that's obvious? "Label" isn't being used as a dirty or reductive word here. I'm bi and the word "bi" is still a label. It's a way to quickly explain what I am without having to wax poetic. Stop reading in bad faith. From your responses to these asks, it's happening a lot.

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Anon: (replying to this ask)

I don't wanna make it seem like I'm taking an harmless joke post super seriously and I'm not really saying this AT that anon, but it just reminds me of a thing that's been bugging me, the fandom trend of going "what if actually the minority group were the MAJORITY group! ^^" (i.e. "everyone is neurodivergent" "everyone is queer" etc) Just 'cause it's kind of like. Missing the point? "A (relatively) small group of people struggle / are discriminated against because they're not understood or society was built without taking their needs into account, who largely confide in each other because they're able to find common understanding, which they often can't find elsewhere." If things were "reversed" the same issues would still exist, it doesn't actually fix or improve anything. Speaking as someone who IS queer and neurodivergent.

[thatonelesbianfander]

My favorite Sanders Sides headcanons that I have that I will add to almost any AU I make:

This is a top 10 list of different headcanons that I have for every side + C!Thomas that I add to every AU I make of the sides. Also included are gender, pronoun, and sexuality headcanons as well as a few extra headcanons with the whole group

Small TW for weapons mention

(Quick little thing: When I’m talking about Thomas I mean C!Thomas)

This took so long to make I swear-

Cut off because this is a really long post

Remus

Achillean/Gay (switches between labels)

They/them nonbinary

1) Remus is autistic (I have a different post about that here so I won’t go into much detail)

2) They likes to doodle on their headphones, so all their pairs of headphones are just covered in stickers and drawings

3) They does pole dancing for sport and are really strong because of it

4) Sometimes Remus will end up falling asleep hanging upside down on their pole and no one knows how or why they do it

5) They have a weapon called a “jack handle” which is a handle with a button that can transform it into any weapon at will

6) Remus has octopus tentacles that they can summon at will, which they usually use as a hammock to lounge around

7) They are very dependent on attention and if they don’t get attention they will be very spiteful, and do things just to annoy people until they are given attention

8) A lot of times, Remus’ll just say the most unhinged things ever and then just be like “Anyways, today I saw a balloon :D”

9) Remus grows their hair out really long that they have to have Janus help them keep it clean

10) Remus likes having their hair played with and combed

Janus

Pansexual

It/they agender

1)Janus plays guitar and has actually written a few songs of its own

2) They work as a lawyer

3) They like to read in its spare time, but usually ends up having to keep Remus near them in order to be able to read for a long time

4) It can transform into a snake at will, which they usually use so they can get some rest while staying near Remus

5) Janus uses a scythe as its main weapon with their cane being used as a prop to give them a more dramatic flair

6) They cannot look casual without looking like a model, they literally do not know how to make a casual outfit because it’s so dramatic

7) Janus likes customizing its hat with different kinds of ribbons and bows for different occasions

8) They have a lot of snake like traits, a couple being bad eyesight, cold blooded, and being hard of hearing sometimes

9) Janus’s shapeshifting tends to go haywire when it’s stressed

10) They suffer from identity issues sometimes because of their shape shifting powers

Roman

Gay

He/she bigender

1) Roman is very protective of his family

2) He has ADHD

3) He is very artistic, being able to draw human anatomy really well, but usually gives up when it comes to faces, leading a bunch of her artworks faceless

4) She only really gets vulnerable about his feelings with people he’s close with and trusts

5) He is very protective of her loved ones, leading herself to get injured a lot trying to protect them

6) Roman has a hyperfixation on Disney, cartoons, and theatre

7) She is a very big theatre person, and performs in almost every community theatre production

8) He is fluent in Spanish, and knows a little French

9) She carries a bag with a sketch book and some art supplies with her wherever he goes

10) Roman can be pretty reckless at times but not as much as Remus

Patton

Asexual omnisexual

He/him trans male

1) Patton likes to bake desserts for all the sides

2) Patton is always the first one asleep in the house

3) He is usually the one who ends up having to stop arguments

4) He is very understanding of what the others need and will make sure to do what he can to help the others

5) He is very good with pets and it usually the person the others go to when they need help with their pets

6) He loves wearing stuff with pastel colors

7) Patton likes to collect stickers and basically everything he has ends up covered in stickers

8) Patton doesn’t like to fight and usually tries to talk things out with the person but will throw hands if he needs to

9) He is very generous and puts others needs before his own, opting to help others with their problems before fixing his own

10) Patton doesn’t have any weapons due to not liking fighting

Virgil

Bisexual

He/they demimale

1) Virgil is usually the last one asleep in the household

2) He likes to collect pins and buttons

3) They are very skilled with knife tricks, sometimes showing off the tricks he learned during gatherings

4) They mostly stay in their room which is dimly lit and quiet

5) He has his old season 1 jacket still hanging in his closet although they never wear it anymore

6) He has a horrible sleep schedule due to insomnia and usually takes a lot of naps during the day

7) They are very good at hiding and bending in due to their darker color pallet

8) They like to collect vinyl records and have a record player in his closet that he plays the records on

9) He is a very big horror movie fan, and watches a bunch of different horror movies (usually also accompanied by Remus)

10) Virgil still likes to use wired headphones but mostly uses Bluetooth ones since they’re easier to use

Logan

Polysexual

He/it agender

1) Logan is the cook of the household

2) Logan tends to get very caught up in its work, sometimes forgetting to eat lunch

3) He secretly loves to sing, and can sometimes be caught quietly singing to himself while working

4) Even though it tends to get caught up in his work, it still has a very good work schedule

5) It likes to keep to schedules and will schedule a bunch of stuff months in advance

6) He likes a lot of things that would seem “girly” to other people and thinks gender roles are stupid

7) One whole side of his room is just a library of books that he’s collected

8) It’s a really big fan of comic book but doesn’t admit it

9) It likes to volunteer as a librarian sometimes, and will help the local libraries

10) He has the most healthy diet out of everyone in the group

C!Thomas

Gay

He/him cis male

1) Thomas is a father figure to Remus and Roman, helping the two through anything they’re going through

2) He is the only one in the group who’s able to hold everyone together

3) He wears a flower clip in his hair with the petals colored to each of the side’s colors

4) He cannot keep a houseplant alive even if his life depended on it

5) He is very dedicated to his acting career

6) He likes to collect little trinkets like stones, shells, leafs, etc whenever he goes somewhere and has a big box of stuff in his closet

7) Thomas is very protective of the group but knows how not to put his life at risk while protecting the others

8) He is very thoughtful of the others feelings, and is usually the person the group goes to if they need comfort

9) Thomas loves to buy new Lego sets so much that the others usually have to convince him that he doesn’t need a new set

10) He likes trying out new things from time to time and sometimes picks up a new hobby because of it

Extras: Group

Ships: Demus/Dukeceit, and sometimes LAMP

Remus, Janus, and Roman are all best friends

Roman and Remus have a really good sibling bond, they like joking around with each other and will comfort each other when one feels sad

The twins will sometimes end up getting themselves into trouble because one decided to encourage the other’s stupid decisions

Remus and Virgil are very competitive when it comes to Just Dance and will both cheat each other over if they play together

Roman and Remus both have matching masks of those theater masks with Remus having the smiling one and Roman having the frowning one

Roman and Remus will have duals in the mindpalace for fun

[yellowocaballero]

r you writing tim as autistic? also, how old is steph and tim in your story

The story starts in March. Tim is 13, with a July birthday, so he turns 14 over the course of the story. Stephanie's birthday is in December so she's 14 throughout the course of the story (Tim's July birthday is canon; Steph's birthday is in December because her birthday would be a very big deal to her and I didn't have space to fit that into the story). Steph's an eighth grader and Tim would be an eighth grader if he went to physical school. Assume that in 6th grade he was caught changing his grades remotely, a la War Games.

Vis a vis Tim as autistic: if it's not explicitly said, I do want people to be able to read the characters however they want or however they feel comfortable. I didn't say anything so nothing's canon.

However, I am kind of incapable as writing him as neurotypical. His parents pulled him out of school because he couldn't handle the environment and with nothing in there remotely challenging or interesting to him he couldn't do work (there's a parallel in that to Stephanie we'll get to later). As in canon, special interest absolute king - and I've made the joke before that the reason why Tim is slightly different here than in canon is because he had a computer special interest instead of a Batman special interest, and by joke I mean I designed the character with that in mind (Spoiler & Batman, at this point in the story, are an enthusiastic hobby). I'm hesitant to say 'yes or no' because I didn't go out of my way to introduce some traits to him that I would call uniquely autistic, because apparently I write my characters like I would diagnose patients, but his neurodivergence is the guiding force behind a lot of who he is as a person.

I'm kind of projecting my own views/perspective on this, which is "You know sometimes people do not have a normal brain and it's hard to pin down a label for their flavor of ND". There's also the whole thing of Tim being a specific character archetype that is frequently coded ND but is never explicitly written as such, so that's already baked into his character. But if you want to say "he's probably downright autistic and/or ADHD" please do so.

Also the popular girl bitchy eighth grader looking at you and going "you're weird!" should be in the DSM.

[deerydear]

A few months ago... I was watching this video:

My thoughts kind of keep coming back to it.

Something that stands out to me is the sort of focus on 'internal perception': "Do you feel like you were bullied?" "Did you feel ostracized?" "Did you feel singled out?" Sort of a focus on negative emotions.

I think there's a process of rationalization which can effect memory. If I focused my attention in a particular way, I might be able to remember some occasions "in which other people were trying (or intending) to be rude assholes according to their own metric", but I was not affected by it. I have my own metric. I have my own senses. I'm a full person.

In my childhood I was more likely to become a bully than to 'be bullied'.

So I don't remember the sorts of behaviours that she describes.

My family were also atheist immigrants, so I already felt like most people were of an alien species (lol, christians). (I like to try to be impartial and inoffensive on my blog... but I thought it was funny. Sorry.) Culture has such a strong impact. If two people disagree on the fundamental organization and primacy of reality... then...?

So I really just avoided most people. I actually had assumed that devout christianity was more common than it really was in the area I grew up. I remember feeling afraid to be 'found out' to be atheist. There is a minority of crazy, nutso hardcore 'christians' who might wanna persecute someone for being areligious, or of a different religion. I really just did not want to draw untoward attention to my family. I got used to lying in certain situations (like impressing my friends' parents).

The 'stimming' thing is interesting. because I do often do stuff like that. hahaha, Sometimes the people around me will start copying my behaviour!

(the following comic is read right-to-left)

I feel kinship with birds and dogs. I often imagine the emotions of the individuals I grew up with, when I'm expressing myself. I think I had more dog friends than human friends... (statistically). but I did have many other human friends. I didn't lack it. Again... Atheist in a religious society. Why bother with people who will get angry over strange stuff?

I guess the tone I want to convey in my response is: "I don't feel judged, I'm judging you. (or not... Everything is situational.)"

She discusses 'being bothered by sounds, smells, senses', but... in my evaluation of myself, I have no baseline for an outside perspective, and I honestly do not want to take other people's opinions seriously. Different people can have wildly different opinions of what is normal, even just depending on how their family raised them. Different cultures have differing standards of polite behaviour. Something that would be considered incredibly rude in Japan, might be nothing to balk at in the USA. (Something still might be rude, but normal.)

I also just have a strong oppositional knee-jerk reaction to anyone attempting to give me any kind of label. (maybe not any kind...)

"Oh, you're not one of THOSE people, right?"

See also: discussion the "autistic kill-switch".

"Feelings like this make feel like I’m not actually autistic sometimes, and I was just a poorly-socialized, privileged brat when I was younger."

I feel the idea of an autism diagnosis is very... controversial. I remember reading a blog post written by a mother whose son could be considered autistic, but her psychiatrist said that he would be unable to give him a formal diagnosis because: "the diagnostic criteria are based on behaviours that someone begins to show when they have become traumatized by being socially ostracized". I'm paraphrasing. He went on to say: "if your son were showing these specific signs of being traumatized, I would be able to give him a formal diagnosis [which may be used to seek formal accomodations, such as in classes, etc.], but since he is happy and healthy, and you are raising him well, he does not meet the official metric for an autism diagnosis."

I remember a discussion which mentioned a family of people who could have been diagnosed 'autistic', but none of them had been. They all saw eachother as normal, (or perhaps that they had their own quirks as a family). No one was ostracized from the family for being 'weird' due to "[what some people refer to as ]'autistic behaviours'."

Aghhhhhhh...

Then I also have more questions.

Excerpt from an old blog post:

She was assuming I was autistic because I was "acting shy." She had no idea of my psychological makeup, my life in the past… anything. Just, "you're shy". Maybe it isn't "autism". Maybe it's the same thing that happens to dogs if they aren't properly socialized with other dogs and people, in their childhoods. They become 'gitchy'. They aren't sure how to react, because they lack experience in certain situations. Some dogs become aggressive. They may see their owner as 'the only safe person', and everyone else as a possible threat. I grew up being raised with puppies. I remember my mom telling me about this --- why it was so important to take the dogs out for walks, to meet new people and animals. Maybe it is possible to change. Maybe it's "getting used to a set of circumstances", which can be adjusted. Can old dogs learn new tricks? Is that up to you? I just... really don't like this idea of "innateness".

I had been doing a little bit of research into this question, a few months ago...

I feel like I don't have an objective perspective on myself. but who does. Anyone? Anyone at all?

Should I get my blood tested for melancholy, next?

I still think this is a very interesting article in reference to cultural ideas of psychological affliction. I feel like the principle might have bearing on the discussion of an autism diagnosis...

plus, the sort of 'effect of the researcher' upon the subject studied.

Does a researcher hold bias? Which way does it tend to go? Can a researcher influence the people? Such as through asking leading questions... or segregating an autistic child into a different type of school experience from the majority of other children. That experience itself can also influence a child in ways that I don't think should be ignored. I wouldn't say "cultural bias causes all behaviour that might be labelled autistic", probably not... but in some discussions of ASD behaviour, I notice that some diagnosed people's self-image and understanding of "their behaviour vs. other people's" has been deeply influenced by what other people have told them, especially doctors and other authority figures. I think that 'making a strong statement whenever one doesn't know something for certain' may cause problems down the line. I think that's the type of mistake that some doctors have made, in the past. "YOU'RE different, YOU'RE wrong, and no one is like you. You're different from all the other children." I imagine what that does to a vulnerable child's self-perception. I hear it in some people's narration.

I don't like to share many details about my family, but I never thought I was weird. I thought the outside world was weird... or I embraced being seen as weird, because I thought it was funny, pseudo-'humble', subversive... etc.

I still don't think I consider myself autistic, but I feel like my knee-jerk reaction is lessening. It's becoming more of a neutral subject.

"Would the man who works as the detective L personally consider himself to be autistic?"

Oooh, an incindiary question...

I think yelyahnaloj had said something on the subject like: "I want to understand the underlying mechanisms and themes of this, not to separate reality into discrete boxes". I would concur. I want to understand human psychology, how people think, and why we do certain things, and how we benefit and harm ourselves and eachother.

Paraphrase again. I remember the sentiment but not the exact words! xD

[amewinterswriting]

Fun Facts About Me Tag

Tagged by @ahordeofwasps - thanks, friend!

I'll leave this one as an OPEN tag because I'm not sure how many people have done this one already. So do it if you want, and have fun!

A scent you love:

Vanilla. I'm actually allergic to an ingredient in a lot of scents and perfumes so I have to be super careful about any kind of artificial scents, including but not limited to air fresheners, deodorant, body sprays, bathing products, makeup, laundry detergent, washing up liquid, scented toilet paper, scented sanitary products, scented bin bags... (I didn't even know you could get scented bin bags, that last one drove me crazy trying to work out what was setting me off). I've narrowed down that MOST perfumes/scented products from LUSH and The Body Shop are the cheapest safest thing I can use (I have also worked out that very expensive perfumes from Penhaligons or Channel don't set me off either but I'm also not made of money) The Body Shop does a very nice pure vanilla perfume that is my go to daily scent but any blend that has vanilla in is always nice. Very comforting and warm.

What's something you're looking forward to this week?

Getting any little snatches of relaxation I can now that Christmas (silly season) has started. Even if that means napping while @red-pen-ally plays chill farming games.

What's a book you're currently reading?

Unmasking Autism by Dr Devon Price. I really recommend it for fellow neurospicy folks, especially late diagnosed/high-masking folk, but it could also be a good resource for people with autistic friends or family who just want to know more about the neurotype from the perspective of people who are autistic. The book covers a lot of ground, from simply coming to terms with being autistic to exploring what life could look like if you unmask in some aspects of life and how to start going about it.

What's a game you're currently playing?

Cultist Simulator. It's a roguelike card-based narrative game where you start with nothing (except maybe a desire for some occult power) and have to create and build a cult to amass power, resources and dedicate yourself towards whatever desire you have. But you will have to manage problems such as dread, fascination, running out of money, sickness and pesky meddlers who will turn you in to the authorities for your dream crimes. And possibly all those bodies stuffed inside your cupboard. If you enjoy the narrative style of Fallen London, you'll like this.

What's the most recent movie you watched?

I realised I really don't watch many movies these days. Not really through a concentrated effort, I just never seem to find the time. However, I did recently learn that @red-pen-ally has never seen The Neverending Story, so I am definitely going to parcel out some time to traumatise her share this lovely childhood memory with her.

Are you watching anything on TV or listening to any shows?

Actively, no. The Great British Bakeoff is often on in the house, but I've not been following it super closely. If we tend to watch anything, it's usually odd videos on YouTube.

Favourite season?

Autumn. Cozy season, lots of comfy clothes, not too hot, not freezing cold, cocoa is always socially acceptable, pumpkin spice is in everything and Christmas treats start to become available.

What's something you've learned recently?

Not really learnt but had this one confirmed with science: autistic people aren't any worse at communicating effectively than allistic people (despite medical model of disability often labeling it as a communication-based disorder). Autistic people can usually communicate with autistic people just fine. Often, they can communicate with allistic people well enough, too, though this can often be very taxing as they have to translate the communication on their end. Allistic people, on the other hand, often fail to communicate effectively even with other allistic people, due to preferring less direct language and more euphemisms or talking around the subject. They also tend to draw conclusions and react based on perceived data instead of actual data. Which is wild when they label autistic folk as the one with the communication difficulty.

Have you had any water lately?

Coffee has water in it, that totally counts, right? Right?