#so it provides me with stronger affirmation

[starblushh]

“What I've learned from women who are totally killing it”

Part 2

(part 1)

☁️ The secret to be the luckiest person in the room is to always think in your favour, no matter the circumstance is.

☁️ A daily routine actually makes your day easier. But the key is to have one which resonates with you.

☁️ Stop blindly following routines you see on the internet; they don't even resonate with you. Ex: Maybe you're not a gym person, but you're half heartedly going to the gym just bc of xyz routine. Instead, try to find what you actually like, such as yoga or exercises.

☁️ Never apologize for things which gives you joy and is literally hurting nobody. Trust me honey you don't wanna be 70 and live your life regretting things you could have loved and enjoyed but didn't. So go stream your ‘not so cool’ artist and enjoy that ‘boring’ hobby.

☁️ The happiness you're searching outside is within you. You will never ‘arrive’ to happiness, it's in the small things you do.

☁️ Music or the songs you listen to can actually affect how you feel all day ! When I started listening to songs with affirmations, I found myself humming those songs again and again. Similarly, when I listened to sad songs I found the same thing. Your subconscious believes what it's hearing, so be mindful of the music you listen to.

☁️ Honey, you're punishing your body if you're only using water and soap/body wash while bathing. Your body deserves to be properly cleaned and these aren't enough to remove the dead skin cells. All you need to do is use an exfoliating tool such as a washcloth, body sponge, loofah, etc. If you don't have access to these right now, then even a simple cotton napkin will work.

☁️ If you're religious and want to have stronger connection with God then the best way you can do it is by reading your religious scriptures. Whether it's the Gita, Bible or Quran, it will provide you with more knowledge than anyone else can.

☁️ “The fears we don't face become our limits” I spent a whole minute reading this quote again and again. One of the most moving quotes I've came across for sure. (I can make a whole post with all my fav quotes too!)

☁️ ‘Nature is women's best friend.’ Take some time out of your day to spend time in nature. Feeling anxious? Take a walk in the garden. Feeling like the world is cruel and everyone is against you? Go hug a tree. Trust me sweetheart, nature has the solutions to all your problems.

[doumadono]

hello

i'm incredibly sorry to ask for this emergency request

but would it be okay to ask you to write comfort for suicide thoughts with hawks or aizawa? I understand that you may be uncomfortable with it, so it's okay if this ask won't be fulfilled

thank you either way and have a nice day!

Aizawa & Hawks with s/o having suicidal thoughts

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Aizawa

Aizawa, typically reserved, expresses concern when he notices the change in their behavior, demonstrating his deep connection with them.

Rather than pressing for details, Aizawa lets his partner share at their own pace, creating a safe space where they feel comfortable opening up.

Aizawa would stay up late, ensuring he's there when his partner needs to talk. His gruff exterior softens as he listens attentively, providing a safe space for them to express their darkest, suicidal thoughts.

Aizawa understands the power of silence. Sometimes, they'd sit together without saying a word, knowing that just having someone by their side can be reassuring.

With a rare smile, Aizawa offers words of encouragement, acknowledging the struggles they face. "You're stronger than you think. I believe in you, Y/N. Please. I can't lose you, baby."

Aizawa works with them to develop a structured routine, focusing on small, achievable goals to gradually overcome challenges.

Aizawa helps them establish a routine, emphasizing the importance of self-care. Whether it's making sure they eat properly or get enough rest, he takes practical steps to support their well-being.

Knowing the therapeutic effects of physical activity, Aizawa suggests training together. It becomes a way to release pent-up emotions and build a sense of achievement.

Aizawa encourages them to engage in activities they enjoy. Whether it's reading, drawing, or another hobby, it becomes a positive outlet for their emotions.

Aizawa gently encourages seeking professional help, emphasizing that heroes aren't just those who fight villains but also those who face their inner battles.

Aizawa assures them that they're not alone in this journey. "We'll face this together, one step at a time."

Aizawa helps them connect with friends and build a support system, reinforcing the idea that seeking help is a sign of strength.

Hawks

Hawks, perceptive as always, notices a change in their demeanor. Without prying, he gently encourages them to share what's on their mind.

When they finally open up about their dark thoughts, Hawks listens attentively, his wings wrapping around them protectively, creating a comforting cocoon.

"You're not alone in this, you know. We're a team, remember? Let me share this burden with you," Hawks says, his voice calm and reassuring.

Hawks takes them on flights, providing a unique perspective and a momentary escape from the darkness.

Hawks uses his playful nature to bring laughter into their lives, understanding that humor can be a powerful antidote to despair.

Hawks is affectionate, expressing love through hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation. "You mean the world to me, and I'll always be here for you. I know those thoughts are super overwhelming but I know how strong you are."

Hawks encourages them to explore creative outlets, channeling their emotions into something positive. Whether it's writing, painting, or another form of expression, it becomes a therapeutic outlet.

He shares stories of his own struggles, highlighting that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can connect people.

On difficult days, he surprises them with small gestures of affection, whether it's breakfast in bed or a note expressing his love and support.

Hawks collaborates with them on setting achievable goals, celebrating every small victory together. "We'll conquer this together, darling."

Hawks paints a vivid picture of a brighter future, reminding them that each day brings new possibilities and opportunities for happiness.

[sadnymi]

"My Dreams Are Just Dreams... Until They're Not" modern Mattheo riddle × reader [chapter 5]

[previous chapter][Next chapter]

Note : this chapter can be read as a standalone

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language,childhood trauma ,abusing, cheating, angst, death, sexual harassment ( not the main characters)

Please understand that this chapter will delve into darker themes. I urge you to pay close attention to the trigger warnings provided.

words: 3,971

Reading Time : 14mins 26sec

Summery: A week at my best friend's beach house, surrounded by our friends as we meet her soon-to-be fiancé's companions, marks a turning point where the very fabric of my beliefs begins to unravel. It's during this week that I encounter the boy who incessantly appears in my dreams, blurring the distinction between the world of my subconscious and the tangible reality before me. Matthe Riddle emerges as the poison I willingly imbibe, a curse that feels akin to a dream, weaving its tendrils into the very essence of my being.

In the labyrinth of our minds, there exists a chamber where memories are stored,

guarded by a sentinel of the soul. This guardian, born of instinct and necessity, shields us from the piercing arrows of past pain.

It enshrouds our recollections in a veil of forgetfulness, concealing them from our conscious sight.

Yet beyond this protective veil lies a deeper truth—a truth of scars left untended, wounds left unhealed.

Shielding us from the torment of certain memories, like the haunting recollection of my own death .

My name is y/n Celestia daughter of Seraphina Celestia and Leopold Celestia

"My Dark Lord," my stepfather bowed reverently, and I followed suit, mimicking the formal gesture. "Allow me to introduce you to my wife, Seraphina Celestia, and my stepdaughter, Y/N Celestia." I lowered my head in acknowledgment, following the protocol instilled by my mother.

I was only eight when I first saw him, the young boy standing next to the dark lord with so much pride , observing us with an inscrutable gaze.

"Daughter of Leopold Celestia," our lord addressed me, rising from his seat and approaching us. "The heir of the Celestia family."

"I promise to protect her until she comprehends her role, my lord," my stepfather pledged, his voice resolute as he affirmed his duty to safeguard me until I reached maturity.

And that's when I realized my cue to depart had arrived. Mother's words echoed in my mind, admonishing me never to bring shame upon our family. I was to comport myself as befitting a princess, fulfilling the expectations laid upon me. I had made a solemn vow to Mother—to be obedient and dutiful in all things.

As I lingered in the adjacent chamber, awaiting their return, he appeared and settled beside me. "He's not your father?" he inquired gently.

"No, my father died before I was born " I responded matter-of-factly, devoid of the sting of grief or the weight of sorrow. "Mother deemed him a coward, claiming his demise stemmed from weakness and his inability to protect us."

He regarded me with a mixture of confusion and curiosity, giving me more attention than anyone ever did "And she believes your stepfather to be an improvement? That he is stronger and will safeguard You ?"

"I am bound to obey her," I murmured softly, casting a cautious glance over my shoulder to ensure our conversation remained private.

"So, do you like her ?" he probed, his lips curling into a knowing smile.

"Mother insists that in this world, emotions must be set aside," I replied, my tone tinged with resignation.

"She’s so annoying ," he remarked, prompting a rare burst of laughter from my lips. "What's so amusing?"

"I find her annoying , too," I confessed, still scanning our surroundings for any prying ears.

"And what of you? Do you hold affection for your mother?" I ventured, seeking to reciprocate his candor.

"I hardly know anything about her," he admitted

"I'm sorry," I offered sympathetically.

"Don't be," he replied with a shrug. "I doubt I'm missing much."

His response elicited another smile from me, a glimmer of camaraderie shared amidst the confines of our respective familial burdens.

"What about your father?" I inquired.

"We're good,"

"Do you obey him?"

"It's more of an understanding between us," he explained.

"Has he... has he ever hurt you?" I whispered softly, afraid of my own voice reaching the wrong ears and causing trouble.

"Of course not. Does yours?" he asked with genuine concern.

"When I do something wrong," I admitted, looking away. His hands found mine, and as our eyes met, I noticed the red bruise from yesterday. Panic set in, but his reassuring grip eased my anxiety. "He's the one who did this,? " I nodded hesitantly , then he squeezed my hand comfortingly.

"Don't be afraid, Y/N."

Come on, Y/N, we need to hurry if want to see where the hat will place the newcomers," Sarah's voice echoed from outside my dorm. I pulled away from the kiss with Mattheo, trying to compose myself.

"Yeah, just give me a minute," I replied,giving him a warming glance to not make any sound and trying to sound normal as much as I can

"You need to go, Mattheo, right now," I whispered urgently, breaking away from him once more.

He leaned in to give me one final kiss before responding, "Tell her to fuck off." His playful tone didn't match the seriousness in his eyes.

"Don't be so rude," I chided, cupping my face he smiled softly “ I will need to have a word with Lorenzo about how a cock blocker his girlfriend is “ I blushed and smiled shyly at him I was still a virgin we were seventeen but the topic still made me nervous Sarah said she did it with Lorenzo penny did too they said it’s wasn’t even that painful and after the first time it’s only about the pleasure , Mattheo never pushed me, giving me the time I needed.

"Y/N, I swear to God," Sarah's voice grew impatient, and I called back that I was coming. Grappling my scarf, I hurriedly put it on, realizing I had no time for makeup to conceal the red marks left by the boy smirking at my struggle.

But then it happened—I forgot to hide my sleeves. Panic gripped me as I noticed that where his eyes were on, Mattheo touched my hands softly, his expression turning from anger to hurt.

"You said he had stopped," he said, with me trying to hide my hands again Tears welled up at the sight of the pain in his voice.

"Mattheo, please," I whispered, shaking my head. "He didn't mean to, I—"

"I'm going to fucking kill him "

"I want one," I whispered, my head still resting on his chest."Why can't I have one right now?"

"Someday, baby," he replied, his voice soft and reassuring.

"Why not now? Because I'm useless to the Dark Lord? Sarah joined the Death Eaters, Penny is going to..." My voice trailed off, frustration tainting my words.

"You are not useless," he said firmly, sitting up straight and meeting my gaze with seriousness. "Someday, I will let you rule this whole thing."

A smile spread across my face at his words. "You're so sweet."

"Oh, Lord, don't call me sweet in front of anyone, or I will have to kill them," he teased, eliciting a laugh from me.

"You know, I'm starting to get offended by you always wearing red," he remarked after a moments of silence .

"It's just a color, baby," I replied, trying to brush it off . But deep down, I knew it was more than just a color. Some wounds take longer to heal than others, and some keep on bleeding long after. Wearing red was my way of concealing the scars, a reminder of the battles I've fought and the pain I've endured.

cuddling within his embrace, I savored the peaceful moment, surrendering myself to the security of his arms enveloping me.

I tilted my head, resting my chin upon his chest, allowing myself the luxury of studying his striking countenance. Every contour, every scar, every nuance of his face captivated my attention, as I immersed myself fully in the sight of his handsome features

“ matt ? “

“ yes love ? “

“I'd love you until my last breath”

At my mother's funeral, I stand as a solitary figure, ensnared by a profound numbness that eclipses the mournful symphony of raindrops around me. The gray clouds and cascading rain envelop me in an abyss of numbing sorrow, the sting of her disdain piercing through me despite her cruelty.

*I feel utterly alone, adrift in an ocean of pain and loss, burdened by the weight of a secret I dare not share with anyone.*

The truth about my father's death, recalling the last conversation I had with my mother. I shake my head, taking hesitant steps back, hoping no one notices my absence at her funeral.

Then, I run. Far away from the somber voices and vacant stares, seeking solace beneath the shelter of a tree, I close my eyes, trying to catch my breath.

"Y/N," a voice interrupts my solitude, and I startle at the sight of him standing before me.

"What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here," I exclaim, my voice trembling with fear as I scan the area, ensuring no one else is nearby.

"Calm down, it's okay," he reassures me, brushing away my tears with a gentle touch. "I would kill anyone who dares to interrupt and puts that terrified look on your face."

I know he means it, and that's precisely what terrifies me.

"Please, Matt," “ you know how dangerous it is , if anyone saw you with you “

we do know, as the heir of Slytherin he cannot have a weakness no one should know about our relationship people in our world will use it against him taking advantage of the situation , my voice barely above a whisper. With one hand, he pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me, and I rest my head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

"It's okay," he murmurs into my hair, placing soft kisses there.

“ y/n ? “

“ yes matt “

"I know you're hiding something."

"I will talk to my father,I will ask him for permission to kill him."

"He's a loyal soldier to your father; he won't just allow it," I shook my head, standing up and making my way toward him.

"I hate the thought of you with him in the same house."

"He stopped hitting me, I promise," I tried to avoid his gaze. He knew me so well, even without speaking. He could feel my pain as much as I could feel his. Our souls had a language of their own, and he would catch my lies.

"Then I would just do it."

"No, no, stop it, mate, please."

Walking back and forth, his hands tangled in his hair, I approached him, attempting to calm him down. I reached out for his hands, hoping them with mine

"Then marry me," I took a step back, trying to understand his words.

"What?"

"Marry me. We are old enough now. Marry me, and I will tell my father I will do it your way. I will let him plan a wedding. I will—"

"I can't let you do it. They will ruin you. Those people will do anything to take your place. Even if that’s mean using me to get to you, No, God, I don't even trust your father enough. "

"Stop thinking about anyone else for a goddamn minute," he walked away, yelling angrily. "Stop caring about anyone else. I'm tired of holding back; I feel like you're tying my hands."

"So what? Let you go and hit my stepfather to death like last time? And then stand there trying to explain why you did it, blaming it on a misunderstanding. You know what happened last time."

“"No, I don't," he replied, his gaze piercing with anger. I despised the fact that we are fighting

"Please, I don't want to fight," I sighed, closing my eyes. I hoped that whatever was wrong between us would dissipate when I opened them again.

"And I'm tired of you always running instead of facing the situation. This weakness you've convinced yourself of is just an illusion, cause deep down you can’t move on from being

the little girl who was afraid to disobey him," he retorted with frustration.

"That's it, the tears I was holding, I couldn't contain them anymore. I pushed him away from me, crying heavily.

"Baby, I didn't—" he realized his own words, attempting to hold me. I pulled away, screaming, "Don't you dare fucking touch me," trying to reach the door.

Just as I was about to pass his tall frame, Mattheo moved his arm quickly to block my way. He didn't touch me, only reaching for the wall to stop me from leaving . I flinched, and squeezed my eyes shut while raising my arms in front of my face. My body expected a hit as my mind told me that I just made a fool out of myself.

Silence fell around us. Realizing what i just did , I was ashamed, and the hurt in his eyes made me sob heavily.

"Baby," he came closer, and I was shaking.

"I would never... never hurt you. Did you think I was going to?" Pain, a lot of pain, echoed in his voice and eyes, and it was all my fault.

"I'm so, so sorry. I know you would never. Please don't be hurt. I'm so sorry," saying while sobbing

"Stop apologizing, baby, please," he uttered softly, bridging the gap between us. His hand extended tentatively, wary of any residual fear.

"I would never hurt you, love " he reassured me. Our fingers intertwined, a subtle tug pulling me closer, and I wrapped my arms around him, letting the tears wet his t-shirt.

"I know. I'm so sorry," I repeated, taking a step to look into his eyes just for him to cup my face softly.

"I would burn any hand that ever thought about touching a strand of your hair. The thought of you being hurt makes me want to burn them all down. I would never hurt you, baby."

"I didn't know why I reacted like that. I'm so sorry. It's like my body has a reaction of its own," I confessed, and he kissed my forehead while wiping my tears away.

"No, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have yelled like that. I shouldn't have scared you. Fucking hell, I'm so sorry, baby," he apologized, and I nodded, letting him kiss me softly, his lips moving cautiously with mine.

"We both were. I let what happened get to me, and I'm sorry. I think we need a break—" he tried to talk, but I shook my head.

Please, Matt, I hurt you. You hurt me I think we need some time to calm down ," I pleaded.

"You didn't hurt me," he insisted.

"I will see you at the beach house. He agreed to go this year as well. I will come to Sarah's once you arrive. We'll go earlier; he has an early business," I explained.

"Baby—" he began.

"It's okay, Matt ," I stepped back, going to the door, turned around one last time,

"I love you." He said it softly like a prayer with his eyes on mine , and my tears ran once more.

Once Sarah saw me, she got away from Lorenzo. "Are you okay?" I nodded, wiping my tears away. "Can you take me home?"

Being at the beach house this year without my mother was a new experience, the absence of her presence leaving the house darker, more sinister, as if it had taken on her essence. I tried to maintain a deliberate distance between myself and the monster I had to tolerate, struggling to divert my attention to the rhythmic sounds of the ocean and the invigorating breeze. I resisted the urge to reach out to Mattheo, to ask Sarah about him.

"What are you doing?" His voice cut through the air like a knife, and I hated the tremor that ran through my body.

"Just reading," I replied without turning around, feeling his hand on my shoulder in the most unsettling way. He had never touched me like that before, and I felt disgusted.

"Did you spread your legs for him, princess?" His words were like venom, and I recoiled, taking a step back.

"What?" I managed to utter, my heart racing with fear and confusion.

"Don't act so innocent. I know what's going on between you two. I wasn't sure until he almost killed me that night I hit that pretty face of yours. I did that on purpose, you know?" His smirk made my skin crawl, and I instinctively moved towards the door, trying not to alert him.

"You're sick," I shot back, my voice trembling as I attempted to make my way to the door without drawing attention.

"You know that time I brought those women to the house in front of your whore of a mother? I was thinking of you the whole time while fucking them," he taunted, his words like daggers piercing my soul. "Sometimes I think about him fucking you as well, my princess, my innocent girl."

I ran to the door, screaming, when he grabbed my hair so hard that tears sprang to my eyes immediately.

"Look at this skin, so soft, and that fucking body," he murmured, his grip tightening as I struggled against him trying to fight him as much as I could

"He will kill you. He will fucking kill you, and I will let him. I will stand here watching him burn you alive, and I will watch every single second of it." I shouted at him believing every single word of it

"Shut up, you stupid slut," he spat venomously, his words like acid burning through my soul.

"It's about time he arrived with Sarah. I will tell him. I will let him burn you alive, you fucking monster," he continued, pulling me even harder until I felt like he would tear me apart. He threw me onto the sofa, hitting me in the face before gripping it so tightly it felt like my bones would shatter.

"so bad we'll be already dead before that," he taunted, relishing in my fear and confusion. "Oh, how I love that look. It's almost the same as your father's before I put that dagger in his heart, and the same as your mother's before I choked her to death. Your stupid, stupid mother thought I needed power and you needed a father. It didn't take her long to agree, to hand you to me on a golden plate," he sneered, his words dripping with malice.

"He's going to kill you either way," I retorted defiantly, refusing to cry as I met his gaze with anger and frustration.

"Will he, princess ? Then you won't get rid of me because I'll search for you in death too," I threatened, my hand holding my hair clip With lightning speed, I lunged at him, aiming for his neck, and he screamed as it pierced his skin.

Seizing the opportunity, I scrambled to my feet and made a run for it, he caught me by my leg

and I kicked him as hard as I could, trying to break free. He locked the doors with a fucking spell , trapping me inside, and panic surged through me as I realized he must have planned it all along.

I pulled my phone and run straight to my room decided to get out through the window or the roof

Grabbing my phone and running straight to my room locking the door behind me “Alohomora” I said but nothing happened “Alohomora” I screamed it again but the window is still closed he must have put a spell to make sure I can’t use it trying to calm myself down I grabbing my phone, I dialed Mattheo's number, my voice trembling as I spoke.

"Mattheo, you were right," I confessed, my heart pounding with fear. "He should have died."

"I'm on my way," he assured me, his voice filled with urgency.

"I think it's too late—I just wanted to say it back," I whispered, tears stinging my eyes as I struggled to open the window. "I love you. I love you so, so much. From the first time I saw you, you were the most precious thing I ever had. I love you, and I will love you in every life I live. I love you. I don't want to die without saying it one last time."

"You're not going to fucking die baby I’m coming hold on for me okay? " he replied firmly, and i river of tears started to fall

I ended the call, tossing the phone aside, and focused on finding a way out, my heart filled with determination and love

Unlocking the room, I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what lay ahead. With no sign of him, I moved carefully downstairs

“ princess come here , I promise I will forgive you for that small accident “

“ you can’t hide forever princess “

Close your eyes and breathe he can’t hurt you- if you can’t see him that’s mean he won’t be able to see you

“ comon , daddy hates waiting princess, he’s going to punish you when he finds you “ shut up - shut up - shut up

Then I hear it—the sound of his steps, each one drawing him nearer and nearer

“ he’s not coming you mean nothing to him you know? Why would the heir of the most powerful house care about someone insignificant, someone so worthless like you “

“ liar “ I screamed and then it was red all over again all I saw was red

I I brandished my wand and shouted, "Incendio!" The flames engulfed the house swiftly, consuming every inch of it in a fiery embrace.

"Stupid bitch," I muttered under my breath, knowing he couldn't use a spell on me directly. If he wanted my death to appear normal, he couldn't risk casting any spells on me. That's why he had put a spell on the house, making it impossible for me to utter the spell that could have been able to kill him

"Alohomora" he yelled, and all the doors unlocked. I sprinted towards the kitchen door, fleeing the inferno, blood from my nose and lips staining my trembling hands.

Glancing back, I saw no sign of him before finally escaping. However, just as I thought I was in the clear, a heavy pain and the choking sensation of my own blood overcame me. Falling to my knees, I noticed a knife protruding from my back, its blade emerging on the other side.

In agony, I screamed as I pulled the knife even deeper. "Thank you, princess," he uttered, kissing my forehead. "I'll tell them you died bravely, and I promise to take care of your inheritance."

He got up, and the cruel realization hit me that the last thing I might see before death was his sinister face. Collapsing to the ground, I screamed for the last time, my voice giving up. I felt the onset of death, a gradual release of my grip on my soul.

In those final moments, I thought of my friends, the things left unsaid, but most of all, I thought of Mattheo – my sweet Mattheo, the only love I had ever known. I wished to see his face one last time, contemplating all the things we never got the chance to do.

Suddenly, I felt hands on me, perhaps imagined, as he softly wiped away tears and blood from my face.

"I once said I'd love you until my last breath, didn't I?" I mustered a weak smile, extending my shaking hand to hold his on my face.

"You're not going to die," he insisted, and I prayed to see him clearly one more time.

"You're not going to die, love. I won't allow it. Keep those beautiful eyes on me, okay?"

I struggled to keep my eyes open, but darkness descended rapidly, making each breath a challenging task.

“ I’m so sorry “ kissing my forehead , my hands, and I never wanted to be alive as much as I do right now

"I'm going to fix it, love. I'm going to fix everything, I promise."

Clutching onto the sound of his voice, I felt everything fade into darkness.

Tag list :

@hereticdance

[pupintransit]

Something fun i've noticed in the last couple days is that the novelty of my pussy has worn off.

I mean, realistically that's the goal right? You go through untold eons of feeling wrong about your body, you take the opportunity to correct it, and by X units of time it feels normal. Like you've always had this body, like walking around and simply vibing was always your reality. I remember that I possessed a penis and testes and i remember what they looked like on my body, but how they felt is becoming more and more of a distant memory.

My vulva feels natural to me now. I think all of the mental remapping my brain had to do in order to get accustomed to the change is over and done with. My folds and textures are second nature to me now, like i can look at myself in a mirror and think "Yes, I know what that part of me is supposed to look and feel like now, i don't actually have to reach down there to find it."

I reach down anyway of course. Have i mentioned how much fun masturbating is yet? I could literally do it for hours now and it feels just as natural as jerking my cock did. Moreso!

I'm taking a minute now and trying to remember the feeling of my balls dangling between my legs. I can describe it; sweaty, delicate, loose if the temperature was a little too warm. It sort of felt like a floppy stress ball that you weren't supposed to squeeze too tightly. I can recall, too, how those physical sensations made me feel, and remembering is making me physically uncomfortable already. Now though, when i turn my minds eye toward my body those sensations are absent. Of course they would be, right? I don't have those parts anymore. But I did for 30 whole ass years. It was a fundamental component of my being, and now i can only recall those feelings if i but an active effort into doing so. How dope is that shit?

I know folks who have said that their pre-op memories get changed ever so slightly after they get gender affirming surgery. Say you're thinking about a vacation you were on were the shower in your hotel wasn't working, and you get blasted with freezing water when it should have been nice and warm. That version of you would have your post-op or post-HRT body instead of what you had back when that memory was formed. That's so interesting to me! I'm not at that stage yet but i'm really excited to see if it's something i experience.

I think now's a good moment to mention something, and against my better judgement I'll probably write about how this relates to The Discourse™️ of my flavour of nonbinary, but your dysphoria doesn't actually have to be crippling in order to qualify to gender affirming care. I could still masturbate and wash myself pre-op without significant distress, for example. You don't have to "earn" it by proving you're sufficiently. If HRT or gender affirming surgery would improve your quality of life, if you can explain that without lying to your care providers and demonstrate you understand the medical risks, then that's all you need to do to "earn" your medical care. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you, even if they themselves are transgender.

Especially if they themeselves are transgender.

If you're pushing back against nonbinary indenities, or people "inventing" new genders, labels, and definitions, or even just against kink in the trans community, i hate to tell you that it won't make the people oppressing us think you're one of the good ones. Us living authentically isn't setting the trans acceptance movement back, it's what it's supposed to allow us to do in the first place. I would really encourage you to rexamine why you have those beliefs, and why me getting a cunt installed as someone who passes as cisgender constitutes a net negative for our community.

Anyway that concludes the ranting portion of today's mini-essay.

Every time i think i've hit an apex with my joy it keeps getting stronger and stronger. This is the best decision i've ever made, not just because it made my body finally make sense to me, but because it made feeling normal so boring. I can't ask for a better outcome than that.

[6-and-7]

My Fearsonas Day 15: Flesh

Honestly, what wouldn't I do as a Flesh avatar? I can take myself apart and put myself back together again, but better, stronger. I can provide free gender-affirming surgery for anyone who wants it. I can have horns and extra arms because, frankly, I deserve them. I can give people the bodies they want, whether that be in a trans way, a furry way, or whatever else their hearts desire! Our bodies are so weak, so fragile, the grotesque weight of meat in which our minds and bodies are held captive. We deserve the right to customize, at the very least. We deserve to match the beauty and horror and wonder of our inner selves. Come into my studio. Let me make art of you, with my ink and needles and knives, my hands and hooves and fins and paws, eyes and tongues and gills and wings. Whatever you want. You have only to ask.

[mdccanon]

Decay Belonged to Izuku

Here is my two cents.

All for One being Hisashi Midoriya would not be enough to break Izuku nor Tenko. Tenko doesn't feel like he was replaced, like how Touya feels. He feels used. Like a puppet. Izuku has more father figures than he knows what to do with. I like Dad for One, don't get me wrong.

But it's not powerful enough.

The only thing that would hit every box of everything the story has been about is if All for One and Dr. Garaki gave Tenko Izuku's original quirk. If Izuku was meant to decay.

"Face it, Deku, you'll never have a quirk stronger than mine."

"Even you could become a hero."

"Perfect quirk for a villain. Even I started to believe it."

"These things aren't gifts, they are curses."

"I can take and give quirks, but I can't just throw them away!"

The absolute worse thing to Horikoshi isn't merely good or bad things. If it was, All Might would be dead. But he's alive because the worst thing in the world is for him to watch his legacy burn and be helpless. If it was, Endeavor would be in jail. But he's free, and expected to re-explain and re-affirm to every citizen and journalist who asks him that this is all his fault. The absolute worse things to Horikoshi are the bittersweet things you are expected to be grateful for, even as they eat away at your will to live. The worst things are the awful truths you must endure. Congrats Hawks, your childhood hero is worse than your parents. Congrats Overhaul, you accidentally put your father into a permanent coma....

So wouldn't the worse thing Izuku could experience from "Hisashi Midoriya" be him expecting gratitude for protecting Inko from the ticking time-bomb that is Decay? Wouldn't the worse thing be the guilt Izuku would have for everything Tenko had gone through? Not simply because "I know the guy that did it to you."

But "he did it to you to spare me."

Someone is going to explain to me why Inko was doing the Upset Woman pose BEFORE Izuku was declared quirkless. And then the next thing is her bland "shocked" performance with the nonsensical test results and exposition provided by All for One's personal doctor... then she's crying and apologizing to Izuku...

[trans-axolotl]

hey! i just had a friend confide in me that they think they have bpd, and I was wondering if you know of any good resources for me (or for them) about living with bpd and how to support someone with it. a lot of sources online jump straight to demonization but i know that there has to be stuff out there that comes from the perspective of people actually living with bpd

Hey anon!

BPD is such a stigmatized diagnosis-even within neurodivergent communities, I find a lot of people who say really discriminatory and harmful things about BPD. I'm someone who has been diagnosed with BPD in the past so I can resonate with trying to navigate ND spaces with that diagnosis, even though that is a diagnosis I do not currently claim. I have complicated feelings about BPD as a diagnosis in terms of medicalization and the diagnostic history, and I am really critical of psychiatric interpretations of BPD and have some strong feelings about different explanatory models based in more affirming understandings of trauma. But for people for whom the label does provide community, validation, and support, we deserve affirming resources that authentically represent our experiences!

I've asked around in my community spaces and made a list of reccomended resources. I have not personally read every single one of these, so please take what works and leave the rest!

Basic info about BPD: still very attached to medical model, provides some links to learn about how BPD might be better understood as CPSTD, provides quotes from people with lived experience.

Stories + Lived experience: really great collection of stories and perspectives on BPD!

Lived Experience Article: personal story of recovery

Panel for BPD survival strategies during covid

Positives of BPD: Article 1, Article 2

Fighting stigma from clinicans

Books:

 Stronger than BPD by Debbie Corso

 Loving Someone with BPD by Shari Manning

Beyond Borderline: True Stories of Recovery

Workbooks:

DBT skills workbook

DBT for Neurodivergence Workbook

Anyone else with relevant lived experience, please feel free to add on resources that you like!

[ezekiel-krishna]

💫 Zodiac Signs Love Observations 💫

Aries

Aries' main love language is word of affirmation.

They also love the compete in small things with their partner in a healthy manner, to them it keeps the relationship alive and makes both parties avoid boredom.

LOVES to give cute nicknames to others.

Leo

Leo can love with all their heart but they expect the same back, they aren't afraid to leave if you hurt or betray them.

They like intelligence, they are very attracted to it. They do not judge you based on what others say about you, but what they actually see from you.

Very good at cuddling actually, type to play with your hair also.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius is very picky if it comes to choosing their romantic partner, they only date people who they value a lot.

Loves to make people smile, they feel like it brings people closer to one another.

Is the type to stay in both good and bad, they are very good in staying positive even in situations people might think it is impossible to be positive in.

Taurus

Absolutely prefers long relationships over short ones, they want someone they can build a future with.

They associate lyrics with the person that they are in love with.

They can act confident but would rather prefer a partner they can rely on whenever it is needed.

Virgo

I love to be in comfortable silence with their partner.

Always gets shocked if a small detail about them is remembered, it will make their day.

Knows everything about their partner wether it was said or not.

Capricorn

Will very often stare at their love, shutting down everything around themselves, just getting lost in the moment.

Is good in lying, expect if it comes to their partner. They just can't help but be honest, even if the truth won't always benefit them.

Their standards are very high, if they have a partner the person will for sure meet each one.

Libra

Loves freedom! They need their partners trust to be able to give the same energy back. They tend to be a bit of overthinker.

Their love is way stronger than it appears to be.

Is very generous, never selfish towards people they love.

Gemini

They like to flirt, but once they are serious about someone they only have eyes for that person only.

Will remain calm when their partner is stressed, it often gives them the ability to provide comfort.

Their love is unique because they pay attention to their partners wants and desires.

Aquarius

They are the MOST attentive and thoughtful out of all the signs.

Can always strike up an interesting conversation about anything with the right person.

Sees you as a whole, not just their partner.

Cancer

They are very willing to take risks in love. They would do anything to be next to the person they love.

They will daydream about their love a lot but still be shy to reach out to them.

They value emotional security above much else in relationships, without it they are often afraid to trust.

Scorpio

They are really soft on the inside, they just need the right person besides them.

Loves to see their partner be caring! Not towards them only but to people around them in general.

They often hide their emotions, so they are best match with someone that picks up on little things.

Pisces

Prefers helping out their partner with anything they can, they want to show they care whenever possible.

Is very willing to always listen to their partner, even if a conversation might last hours.

Super funny, prefers their partner also being their best friend.

~ Please Reblog If you enjoy reading my Observations ✅

For Consultations ,Don't Hesitate to Message Me ✅

My Reddit Review Post ✅

My Tumblr Review Post ✅

[waddledoodledee]

Day Seven: Love Language

Decided to write some ficlets for this one! Hope you enjoy :3

Words of Affirmation

Shadede watched fondly as Meta sparred with his crew. It always amazed him that he could never find flaws in Meta’s form- the knight seemed to be a master, well-trained and easily the best swordsman the king had ever seen. He continued to watch, Meta currently sparring with Trident Knight. The two patiently danced around each other, looking for the perfect opportunities to strike.

“You’re doing great, Meta!” Shadede called out. Meta’s wings morphed from his cape, fluttering- a surefire way to tell he appreciated the praise, even if his mask hid his blush. Unfortunately, the distraction provided the perfect opportunity for Trident to disarm their opponent, leaving Meta to surrender the match.

Meta retrieved Galaxia from where she had landed and stepped over to join Shadede, mumbling. “Mi amor…”

Shadede chuckled. “Sorry, Meta. I didn’t mean to cost you the match.” He gently brushed down a patch of messed-up fur with his hand. “If it’s any consolation, you did great. Easily one of your best matches lately.”

“You really think so?” Meta asked, poofing up a bit before attempting to smooth his fur again.

“Of course,” Shadede said. He smiled. “Here, let me see your face.”

Meta removed his mask and looked up at Shadede. His face was painted with sparkly purple blush, and he had figurative hearts in his eyes as he looked up at his partner. Shadede leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You’re so handsome,” he said. Meta’s blush grew stronger, eliciting a snort from Shadede.

“You are… handsome as well…” Meta stuttered out, putting his mask back on. 

Shadede continued to brush Meta’s fur, humming. “I love you so much, Meta.”

Meta leaned against him with a smile under his mask. “I love you too, mi amor.”

Physical Touch

Despite how stoic Meta and Shadede seemed on the outside, it didn’t take long for the two of them to realize they were both extremely touchy people.

It started subtly at first- lingering a little too long on the pats Shadede gave on Meta’s head and back, Meta brushing Shadede with his wings during a spar, Shadede taking Meta’s hand as the two of them read in the library. It wasn’t until the two of them decided to start sleeping together that they each realized just how touch-starved the other was.

The brief hugs they shared before getting in bed had evolved to Meta lying on top of Shadede, sleepily kneading biscuits in the heavy blanket. Purring filled the room as he got comfortable.

“Meta?” Shadede said.

“Yes, mi amor?” Meta groggily responded.

“Come under the blanket, I want to hold you.”

Meta nodded and got up, settling back down under the blanket. In only a few seconds, Shadede had wrapped his arms around the knight. Meta closed his eyes and breathed in, relaxing with a sigh in his partner’s arms. “I agree, this is much nicer.”

Shadede smiled and pressed a sleepy kiss to the top of Meta’s head. “Good night, qíngrén.”Meta nuzzled Shadede’s chest. “Goodnight, mi amor.” And with that, the two of them drifted to sleep, smiles still present on their faces.

Acts of Service

Shadede stood at the kitchen sink, washing the bowl of peaches and apples he had picked earlier that day. As he worked, he picked out the fruits bearing bruises and holes. He wanted this to be as perfect as possible.

Once the fruits were washed, he dried them off and got to work, pulling out a knife and making quick work of the peaches’ peels. Fruit after fruit, a small pile of peach cubes rose on the plate next to him. The apples took more work. Coring and slicing was quick enough, but Shadede wanted to make it special. With a little extra knife work, Shadede was able to cut away part of the peel, creating an illusion of bunny ears on the slices. He smiled to himself, hoping Meta would appreciate the gesture. After washing juice from his hands, he grabbed a handful of blueberries and put them on the plate.

He went up to the study with the plate of fruit, quietly opening the door. Meta sat at the desk, tiredly filling paperwork. Shadede walked over and placed the fruit in front of Meta with a hum. “How’s the work going?”

Meta sighed. “Tedious.” He eyed the plate of fruit, before pulling up his mask and taking a few blueberries. “Did you have this already prepared?”

“Nope. Just put it together now,” Shadede said. “Thought you might need a pick-me-up, especially since you stubbornly refuse to get up until you’re done.” The last part was said teasingly, with a hint of exasperation.

“My apologies, I didn’t realize just how much work I had,” Meta responded. He took an apple slice, smiling at the bunny ears cut into the peel. “How long did this take you?”

“About forty minutes. I cut a few extras for Skirby as well.”

Meta looked up fondly at his partner. “It’s delicious, thank you.” He gestured for Shadede to lean down. Upon complying, Shadede was gifted a kiss from the grateful knight.

Shadede pulled away, smiling. “You taste like blueberries.” 

Meta laughed. “Well, I’d certainly hope so. If I tasted like strawberries, there might be something wrong with the fruit you gave me.”

“I suppose so.” Shadede leaned down again to kiss Meta on the top of his head. “I’ll leave you to finish your work, okay?”

“Sounds good, mi amor. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Shadede smiled and left, quietly closing the door behind him. Meta took another apple slice, smiling as he thought about his partner. The fruit was sweet, just like Shadede. Munching on the fruit, Meta started getting back to work.

[thecpdiary]

The Art of Letting Go: Practical Steps to Embrace Life's Flow

In my previous blog, "Trusting Life's Flow," I highlighted how trusting life's natural course requires both mental and emotional changes that are closely linked. To embrace Life's Flow means recognising the importance of letting go. This isn't just about giving up control; it’s a journey that helps us connect better with the rhythm of our lives.

Here are some practical steps and strategies to help you along your journey: Accept and Acknowledge Your Emotions

Emotional Awareness

It is important to acknowledge your feelings without trying to suppress or control them. Writing things down (journalling) can be a useful tool to explore and understand your emotions.

Self-Compassion

Remember to be kind to yourself when facing challenging emotions. Recognise that it is okay to have low moods or down days, when you feel uncertain or afraid.

Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness

To stay present, try to engage in mindfulness practices. This can include mindful breathing, mindful eating, or simply observing your thoughts without judging yourself.

Meditation

Regular meditation helps cultivate a sense of peace and acceptance. Guided meditations focusing on letting go can be particularly helpful. Set Intentions

Set intentions rather than goals. Intentions guide your actions and mindset, allowing for flexibility in how an outcome may unfold.

Affirmations

Use positive affirmations to reinforce your trust in the process. For example, "I trust everything will unfold as it should." Affirmations should always be followed with practical intent.

Create a Daily Gratitude Practice

Gratitude Journal

Write down things you are grateful for each day. This practice shifts your focus from what you cannot control to what is positive in your life.

Limit Overthinking and Rumination

Distraction Techniques

Make a time each day to think about your concerns, address those, then you can concentrate on other things.

Setting Boundaries

Before setting boundaries, it is essential to understand your own needs, values and your limits. Reflect on what makes you feel good, as well as what drains your energy, or causes you daily stress. Self-awareness will empower you to articulate your boundaries more clearly. Focus on What You Can Control

Action Steps

Think about aspects of a situation that are within your control and choose to take proactive steps in those areas. When it comes to past experiences, it is important to address those. Past experiences have a way of catching up with us.

Letting Go

For elements beyond your control, practice consciously letting go. If you can visualise, visualise placing these worries in a box and put in on a top shelf out of harms way. Seek Support and Connection

Community

Connect with others who share a similar mindset or are on the same journey. Support groups or online communities can be a valuable resource.

Therapy

If you're happy, consider speaking with a therapist who can provide professional guidance and techniques for letting go. Strategies Relaxation work and breath-work can both help limit stress.

Deep Breathing

Practice deep breathing exercises to help calm the mind. Techniques like the 4-7-8 breathing method can be particularly effective. Nature and Physical Activity

Nature Walks

Choose to spend time in nature so that you observe and reconnect with the natural flow of life.

Physical Exercise

Regular exercise can help manage stress and improve overall well-being, making it easier to absorb other thoughts, building on a stronger mindset, so that you can let go of things more easily. Personal Reflection Personally, I have found mindfulness and meditation to be incredibly powerful in helping me let go of control, of things. Daily mindful practices have shifted my focus to the positive aspects of life, helping me to reduce anxiety. Summary Letting go is a journey that involves both inner work and practical actions. By incorporating emotional awareness and mindfulness, and supportive practices into your daily life, you too can cultivate a mindset of acceptance. It is important to remember that mindfulness is about progress and not perfection. And that with each step you take, it should bring you closer to a more peaceful and fulfilling experience.

For more relatable, inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

[flfverse]

FF snippets

i promised these to anon and then i Forgot about them (also i planned to write some but it got away from me) so here!!! are some bits from my wip doc for you all. come get yalls angst

one:

Hawks turns his head away from the next bite without really meaning to, closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to see it, or Dabi’s face.

“Hawks?”

But he’s not allowed to refuse food. He needs to eat to grow, to get stronger, to be better, and therefore it is not an option.

“Keigo, check in. What’s your color?”

He barely hears the question, caught in his own head as he is. He’s not allowed to refuse. So he turns his head back, opens his eyes, and carefully takes the meat. Chokes a little when he swallows, trying to hide it. His stomach is churning.

Dabi slides off the couch, falling to one knee, and cups his face. He sighs at whatever he sees there.

“Okay, birdie, I’m calling yellow.”

Hawks closes his eyes again, childish. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Talk to me. What’s in your head?”

two:

He’s laughing, Dabi’s laughing, the air smells like cinnamon, and when his phone rings he expects it to be one of the League or maybe Miruko and answers automatically, on speaker since his hands are messy.

“‘Ello?”

“Keigo.”

At the first note of his father’s voice—older, rougher, quieter, but undeniably the same one that snapped at him to stop being so annoying, that told him he was useless, that grunted as the belt came down.

Hawks drops the phone.

“Birdie?”

“I’m okay,” he says, but his voice sounds far away. He reaches down for the phone, hoping it isn’t cracked.

“Hawks.”

He’s really tired. Everything’s just…gray. Why is it gray? What’s wrong with him?

“Hawks.”

He blinks until a little of the color comes back. “Yeah?”

“You looked like you were gonna fall off the couch,” Dabi says softly.

Hawks glances down at himself. He is perched on the back of the couch, his usual movie-night spot, and he does feel a little unsteady, but…how the hell did he get here?

He can feel everyone staring at him.

“Sorry,” he tells them. “Just tired.”

three

“Dabi? You alive in there, hot stuff?”

A muffled noise like a groan, then Dabi’s voice. “Bir’ie?”

“Yeah, can I come in?”

Another noise, this time vaguely affirmative. Hawks pushes the door open.

Dabi is lying on his bed, buried under his blankets. From the messy state of his hair, he’s probably been there a while. Even as Hawks walks over he can tell Dabi isn’t fully present; he looks like he’s barely keeping his eyes open.

“Are you sick?” Hawks asks. “Shigaraki said you should’ve warned me about something.”

“‘s bein’ fuckin’ ‘matic,” Dabi mumbles. “‘s fine.”

Hawks takes off one glove to press his hand to Dabi’s forehead. He feels warm, but his usual sort of warm.

“If you’re not sick, what’s going on?”

“I’m fuckin’ tired is wha’s goin’ on.”

“I can see that,” Hawks says, a little amused. “Did you not sleep last night or something?”

“Too many questions,” Dabi mumbles, swatting clumsily at him. He misses completely.

sorry i literally only write angst <3 ALSO!!! i have something exciting planned for next week, provided life doesn’t knock me on my ass again. i welcome speculation about any of the above :3 i miss updating & running this blog, ugh

[shiningstardan]

• N E J I x H I N A T A • R A T E D E • 1 0 K W •

S U M M A R Y:

'Talk to her!' Lee's words still rang in his mind, and he wondered if he actually should. Shame and guilt have the tendency to consume one's soul. How far can a gesture or a series of them compensate for the sins of the past? And will the sufferer be able to accept the atonement given or will they succumb to the guilt and heaviness of those emotions? Could Neji and Hinata relink a relationship that is plagued by the ghost of the past? Prompt 1: Dry Humping

✦ A O 3 - F F . N E T ✦

Peculiar Considerations For Atonement

Part 3: Moderato

Festival day! 8:45 pm

“I’m sorry. If I hadn’t slipped up” Neji apologized “Sorry”. She was standing exactly where she had for what felt like 5 minutes, finishing the drink he had brought her, trying to calm the thirst, the retching and the bile, now more present at the pit of her stomach.

She took a deep breath. It was better for them to sit down at that moment.

“I’m feeling dizzy, can we-” Neji extended his free hand, wanting to provide stability for her, but unsure on how to approach her. Her hand attached to his as if a magnet connected them; and he felt a jolt, making his heart pound harder. This wasn’t the moment to get distracted, though. He hadn’t noticed since the warm light of the lamps had really limited his vision, and the darkness made it even more difficult to see, but she had been getting paler and paler. Her cheeks were colorless, and her eyes had gotten more and more watery. She had not moved as he expected her to, she was paralyzed. 

The sake bottle he was holding with the other hand made the situation even more difficult to maneuver. Frustrated, he decided to just leave it on the floor. He first needed to make sure that Hinata would not collapse. With the bottle now out of the way, he closed the distance between them. With his left hand still holding hers, he positioned himself right beside her, his ribs tightly pressed against hers, using his right arm to hug her from the waist. Signaling her to support her weight against him, her head dropping slightly down, somewhat aware of the firmness of his chest against her shoulder.

“Thank you” was the only thing that she could mutter.

“Slowly, please. One step at a time” She could faintly hear him, feeling her body getting worse every second. Sai had called Neji her servant, no one had ever said or implied that Neji was her servant, ever. She could feel the heaving getting stronger and stronger. Her eyes were getting more and more watery by the minute. She felt as if she was going to vomit at any second.

‘she is your master and you are her ser- ’

Her knees finally weakened and her weight pulled Neji down with her, making them both kneel and fall on their hands. 

Neji could feel how she was crumbling down by the minute, the panic inside him made his blood course at a thousand miles per second, he had hoped that they would make it to the bench, so he could assist her. But, her heavings were getting stronger and stronger by the second.

“Neji” 

Heave.  

“you” 

Heave.

He could see her back rising up and down. Her breath was short and labored. He needed to act, and he needed to act now! She tried raising her head one more time, but she could feel how her elbows were losing strength as well, which made her head drop down immediately.

“Shhh, let me help you please”. His right arm went behind her back and across her chest, his palm firmly opened over her sternum. “Hinata, please recline against me”. He strongly pushed her back, setting her against his chest.

“You aren’t”, she continued heaving. Her head slowly went from right to left, trying to deny the affirmation that repeated in her head over and over again. Her breath quickly going in and out. He wasn’t. Pant. He wasn’t . Pant. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She needed air, but her throat was closed. The heaves burned her throat and the oxygen was not filling her lungs.

Byakugan . Neji activated the family blood limit, quickly checking her chakra flow and trying to assess how to handle its turbulence; her system was going into overdrive. He would have to try to do something he never had, he needed to slow them down, not close them, but slow them. He breathed deeply trying to fluctuate the chakra emanating from his digits at a steady pace and precision. He would need a fraction of it of the usual flow he used, that was the tricky part, he had never tried something like this before. He could do more harm than good if he miscalculated.

Heave.

He only had a couple of seconds, without delay he pushed his left fingers against her abdomen. Praying that the improvised idea would actually help her. “Please breathe Hinata. Please.” Her breathing was still labored but his Byakugan allowed him to see that the speed of her chakra flow had slowed. He needed to sit her on the bench. He knew getting up would be difficult, her weight threw his center of gravity off, and the last thing he needed was to fall down against the grass. 

His legs screamed while pushing his ankles to the limit, but the adrenaline allowed him to push upwards. He didn’t want to shuffle her too much by making unnecessary movements, so he tried to keep it to a minimum by holding her as tightly as he could against him, her breathing was still resounding in his ears. The movement allowed him to push one of his legs forward, planting a foot squarely against the ground.

“I’ll push us up” the handbag    felt heavy on her hand, but she had used her last remnants of energy to clutch her fingers around the handle. Her tears had dried, she had promised herself that today was a special day, that she would enjoy it. She could feel her head resting on Neji’s shoulder but her consciousness was but a sliver. Her mind vanished for a moment.

‘she is your master and you are her ser- ’

Gasp .

The oxygen was finally filling her lungs, waking up her muscles and clearing her mind for a second. A spike of adrenaline activated from within, allowing her to walk the remaining distance.

“Slowly Hinata. You need to rest, so let’s try to make it to the bench” She nodded, her knees were regaining their strength, now that she could breathe better. His arm went from her shoulder to the center of her abdomen, balancing her core, softly providing the pressure needed for her to be pushed against him, countering their weight. “Ok, please turn around and we will sit”. She followed her instructions, her breathing had started to regulate.

“Wa - ter - ple -”

“Right away”  He picked up the sake bottle and laid it next to her on the bench. He signed the appropriate gestures and created a shadow clone that could go for the drink she desperately needed.

“How are you feeling? I’m not sure of what I did, so we may need a medic” He could see the paths her tears had left on its way down. He extended his hands and tenderly wiped them. His thumbs tenderly went over her cheeks and then he held her face tenderly. Her eyes were halfway opened trying to focus on him. Her face fell slightly sideways, trying to feel the warmth from his fingers, cradling her.

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“Do you think they will be alright?” Asked Tenten, worried about how agitated Hinata had looked, she saw how uncomfortable Neji had looked while hearing Sai’s statement.

“I hope so,” she sighed. “Sai! How could you say that?”

“I was just stating the obvious” He shrugged “He, as far as I know, should not be allowed to address her in such a casual manner, is unbecoming of his position”

“I swear I’m gonna kill you” Tenten was furious, she still felt wary about the ex-root ninja. 

“That would be a very difficult task to accomplish” he answered in a monotone. “In the root, he would have had his tongue cut if he had addressed a superior in an unbecoming manner”

“Sai, you have to understand that as Hinata said, she is not her superior” Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“But isn’t she from the main family?” 

“Sai, you are not listening to me,” Sakura said exasperated, massaging her temples. “She is clan head. She is the person who now decides what is correct and what is not.” She was feeling exhausted from the conversation. “Yes, Hyuga history may be tangled in a complicated way, and maybe none of us can fully understand how they deal with things internally, but if she says that the divisions are not important, that is the new protocol. He doesn’t need to address her as a superior, and that is the only thing that matters.”

“I still don’t understand why you all got so flustered about what I said. He doesn’t even show his forehead since he is branded” Sai still didn’t get what they were all so worked up about.

Naruto could only see how they all talked about the situation, not knowing what to say.

“Ok, ok. How would you feel if I told you that you are a servant” She tried to pull the empathic side he had been working on, in vain.

“I’ve always been a at the service of the village, in some way, I think I could be considered a servant”

“Argh! I can hear more of this anymore I need to get out of here” Tenten needed a bit of fresh air before letting her murderous instinct take over her. “I’ll try to clear my head, Lee?”

“I’ll go with you Ten” He knew she would get fired up quickly if she didn’t walk away, and for everyone's well being, it was better to avoid that. 

“Ok. What if I told you your art is ugly” Sakura tried to reason with him one last time.

“Art is subjective, so it would be valid for you to think that” She saw the change in his demeanor, despite his monotonous voice, a part of him seemed to have finally gotten the message. 

“I know you are trying to understand how to deal with emotions again. But you can’t just call a person a servant… It feels degrading. And, for the Hyugas, that word carries a heavy weight. Please don’t use those words with them again. If you don’t know who they are and their history, just limit yourself to being polite.” Sakura exhaled. “Naruto, why don’t you take Sai and show him around? Maybe you guys can join Ino and the others”  

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“Why can’t we have a normal evening just for once?” Ino complained.

“Tell me about that! I’m still trying to process the fact that Hinata actually asked Naruto out” Kiba complained. 

“I never imagined she would actually dare. I don’t remember you saying anything about it” Shikamaru interjected. Ino wasn’t the kind of person to be spilling secrets from others, but somehow he always ended up knowing about other’s businesses since she always said things around him.

“Actually no” her eyes opened wide, realizing that Hinata had never mentioned anything about going out with Naruto. “She never mentioned anything to us about that date”

“Oh god. He’s so screwed,” Shikamaru concluded.

“Do you think he might want to invite her out?” Asked Shino, catching everyone’s attention.

“Knowing how he is… He certainly will” Finished Kiba.

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“I swear I could kill him, you know?” Tenten was furious, she couldn’t believe that on her first outing with the guys in months everything had gotten to this point. They were supposed to enjoy their day. “This is so messed up. Do you think Neji will be able to handle it?”

“You know he is strong. He will. Hinata-chan, on the other hand, didn't look well” Tenten observed him carefully, her eyes piercing him. She wanted to ask about the gifts but knew that she couldn’t say anything before her friends did, despite her curiosity.

“All this commotion has left me feeling weird. Can we go for drinks or something?”

“Yes, let’s go. The food stands are this way. They have some chicken bites that you may like, and sweet tea.”

“Guys? Can I join you?” Sakura appeared just behind them, looking ten times more drained compared to when they had seen her last, just some minutes ago. Being the emotional backbone of team 7 was not an easy task. Sakura sometimes was too empathic and that had always been core to her relationships. Ino and Tenten had always been there to support her when the whole debacle with Sasuke had happened. So she had gotten sadly familiar with the tiredness her eyes were reflecting.

“Of course Sakura-san! Ten and I were planning on getting some food. Is there anything you want?” 

“I know just what you need now. Let’s get you some taiyakis!” Tenten pulled her closer, tangling their arms together. Trying to make her feel a little better. “And, in the meantime, I’ll tell you about this spa I visited with Temari”

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“Don’t think too hard man. They may look like pretty serious people but Neji and Hinata are actually cool” Naruto tried to compensate.

“Mmm. This is so complicated for me” Sai lamented.

“Why don’t you tell me more about that article in the ‘Kunoichi’ magazine?”

“Well…it mentioned that girls some time like to be difficult and that you have to be insistent in your approach, that way they see your interest and can elevate your chances of going out with her”

“Hinata is pretty amazing. I remembered we went to Ichiraku and heard all the stories I had about the missions I had been going to. I was telling her about that time we tried to seal the three tail beast and had backup from the anbu” Sai was still thinking about the interactions, trying to understand the different dynamics.

“Did she tell you about her missions?” He asked thoughtfully.

“I don’t remember her saying that much… I just remember that she asked my opinion about the clan”

“Do you consider her to be an attentive kind of person?”

“I guess” he shrugged, “she once offered me a salve during the chunin exams, but I don’t remember what I did with it to be honest”.

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“This is so delicious. Thanks Tenten, I really needed this” Sakura eagerly bit her fish shaped waffle snack.

“Ladies” Lee’s singing voice made them both turn around. “One for you, and one for you” he extended sweet tea drinks to them both. “I hope you like the tapioca” 

“Thanks Lee” said Tenten.

“Thank you” Sakura said a little more shyly.

“Neji?” Lee asked out loud “I think he is coming this way” Both Sakura and Tenten turned quickly in his direction. 

He didn’t seem to have noticed where they were. His eyes were unfocused but somehow he walked straight into the food court. 

“NEJI!” Tenten tried to catch his attention “He doesn’t look okay” They all stood up with the intention of checking up on him. But he had gotten in and out in a heartbeat.

“Should we check on them?” Sakura asked worriedly.

“I think we should give them some privacy, Sakura-san, our presence would just make things worse” Her medical instincts were telling her to not listen to Lee and to run behind him. She must have looked as if she were going to do that because Tenten was firmly holding her by the elbow.

“Lee is right, Sakura. Trust us, we would be more of a nuisance in this moment. If they needed us, really needed us, Neji will let us know. But, when it comes to clan matters, giving them space it's the best we can do for them”

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“Why would you want to go out with her again?” Sai asked genuinely curious, as Naruto had never been invested in another person with this much insistence since Sasuke.

“Well, she is the only girl I have seen who can eat a whole bowl of ramen. Sakura only goes with me after missions and only eats half of it. Where’s the fun in that?”

“So, you want someone to eat ramen with?”

“Maaan, ramen is so good! You should try today’s special recipe”

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

His clone had come back with sweet tea, water and some food.

Neji broke their contact for a second. He took the bottle of water, unscrewing the cap.

“Please open your mouth” Her lips went slightly ajar, and he helped her by pouring the refreshing liquid in small portions. “Drink”. She followed his instructions the best way possible.

“Thanks” she said after drinking some water. He took in how she was reacting.

She looked at him, promising herself that she wouldn’t cry.

“You are not my servant” she whispered hoarsely.

“Shhh. It’s ok Hinata, don’t pay attention to what he said. He doesn’t know us” She lowered her eyes for a moment, knowing it was not true. Sai was strange, and she hadn’t really interacted with him that much, so there was no real way for her to judge him. But Sai was not a liar, and his comments most of the time were a reflection of what people thought. Something in him allowed him to always capture the zeitgeist.

“You are not my servant,” she repeated, looking straight into his eyes. He assessed the weight behind her words, trying to understand what she needed at that moment.

“I am not.” He didn’t dare to break eye contact. “I am not your servant.”

This seemed to finally relieve the tension she had been feeling, her shoulders slowly dropped down, allowing herself to finally recline against the bench. She was exhausted. 

She felt him sitting next to him, the faint smell of wood filling her nose. A smell that was distinctly his. She found it very comforting, with every deep breath she took, she inhaled it more.  Still trying to regain her strength.

“Neji” she called him. “Thank you” she opened her eyes slightly, still reclined on the bench. He was sitting upright, his back straight, always maintaining his composure and elegance. “I’m feeling better”

“Do you want anything? I have some Kaarage and ice tea”

“I just need some minutes, can you pass me the water again?” He unscrew the bottle one more time and extended it to her.

“Thanks” she gulped down some more. Her stomach felt calmer now, and the dizziness seemed to have finally receded. She opened her eyes again, and saw him looking intendedly towards her. She had not expected to see him like that, so entranced, so transfixed, so focused. Something within her buzzed. His hair was down, handsomely framing his face. Her eyes traveled upwards, looking for his mark, covered behind a black headband, feeling the urge to pull it off, hoping to see his skin unbranded. Neji never showed his forehead. 

He was not her servant, but that didn’t erase the fact of what the real function of the mark was.

She didn’t know how he would react if she dared pulling the band off. Really badly, was the most probable answer.

Then, her eyes traveled down to his lips. Something instinctual ringing in her head, making her diverted her eyes quickly. That was the second time she had needed to break eye contact with him that day. Her heart was beating hard, but unlike her conversation with Naruto, it made her feel calm. There was a soft buzzing that purred on the inside, calming her; and not an estrenos thunder that erupted the level of destruction she had felt before.

He pressed the back of his hand against her forehead, checking if she had any fever, he also grazed her cheek and the side of her neck.

“Your pulse seems a little high but, other than that you are looking better” 

He sighed.

She moved forward, her arms wrapping around his shoulders, hugging him tightly. Her face nestled next to him. He hadn’t expected her to react like that.

“Thank you for always being there for me Neji” He felt her arms wrapping more tightly around him, and then she kissed his cheek.

He opened his eyes wide.

She gradually pulled back from the embrace. He had never had her this close, and he wanted the embrace to last longer, to bask in her warmth and gentleness.

“I think I am ready for some food” Her comments woke him up from the stupor. “Do you mind if we eat?”

“Am, yeah - of course - I brought this” He said, extending the fried chicken pieces. “But, if you want. I can go and get you something different”

“No, it’s ok. This is delicious. Can I have some tea? I think I need something sweet now. ’m tired of just drinking water”

“Sure”

“What happened? Was it something you ate when you went with the girls? You looked ok when I left with Lee” She dropped her head lightly, not wanting to address the situation. “Your chakra system was going crazy. I think that we should get Sakura to check you up”

“Mmm, no, no, no, please. I didn’t eat anything out of the ordinary. And, I think I’m ok now, I don’t want to inconvenience Sakura, she deserves to enjoy the festival.”

“So do you” his brows furrowed. She took a moment before continuing.

“Sorry Neji” her eyes dropped down “I am keeping you here, when you should be with your team, you three haven't been able to spend time together.. You deserve to enjoy the festival as well”

“Don’t do that” He said more sternly “Don’t apologize” if she wanted them to be friends he would not allow her to apologize for things that she couldn’t control. “Besides, I prefer to enjoy the Karaage in good company” He said trying to lighten the mood. Offering her a piece of chicken. She smiled, grabbing one with the toothpick, biting it, feeling how the juices of the chicken bites went over her taste buds. Soy and sake flavors, combined in synchrony; it even had a spike and a salty edge that she found delicious.

“Hmmm” she moaned and Neji felt an electric jolt going down his legs. “This is so delicious. I should do them at some point”

“Maybe we could have them with the sake Akimichi-sama gave us”

“That would be nice”

Food and water had done their wonders, and she looked so much better now, even her demeanor was more animated.

“Alright, would you like to go around and check some stands?” Neji asked.

“Could we check the shooting game again?”

“Of course” He stood up first and extended his hand. He was always so attentive. He always had her in awe. She took his hand and it was warm, she hadn’t noticed how cold her own had gotten in comparison. She hadn’t noticed that the air had been dropping the later it got. A part of her didn’t want to let go.

“Ready” she said, making her hands linger a second longer before he pulled back his.

“Not so fast, can you hold the bottle for a moment?” She cradled it in her arms, afraid of breaking such an expensive gift by accident.

He stood in front of her, swiftly taking off her kanzashi and the headband, holding the accessories with one hand. Her arms held the bottle pulling it closer to her body, anxiously following every one of his movements. His free fingers slithered through her hair, straightening the strands that had gotten out of place amidst her episode. She could feel them, soft as butter, going in and out, brushing her scalp.

“Now you are back to perfection” He set her headband back in place and clipped the flower accessory over her ear. “You really do look beautiful tonight” She raised her head, her eyes glazing bright. “Let’s go, we have some shooting to do” He concluded, taking the bottle from her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pushing her forward.

By god, how hadn’t she noticed? There was no more denying it, not to herself. She had to accept it. She liked Neji. She really, really liked him.

･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚

Festival day! - 9:05 pm

“Guys! Ready for round 2?” Asked a man, looking in their direction.

“We are, can you please give us 2?” replied Neji.

“2?” I thought you would win something for the lady”

“I don’t think the lady would need me in order to win something, Mr Okada” He cheekily replied, leaving the required money for the game on the counter. He gave her the rifle. “Ready?” She nodded “If you win, I pay for the next game. If you win, you pay. Deal?” She smiled shyly.

“Ready?” signaled Mr Okada. “So, you have to pull the lever, insert the cork, push it hard and you get whatever prize you shoot down”

“Thank you Okada-san” Hinata took it with both hands and tried aligning her eyesight to the barrel. She breathed deeply, and then pushed the trigger back.

Clink

She lowered the rifle trying to see if she had taken something down. But it had been Neji’s cork which had taken down a keychain.

“Better luck next time Hinata. Here, we have 3 shots each” He said passing her the next cork.

She breathed deeply once again, trying to relax her muscles. She really wanted to take something down. Her competitive side was eager to show Neji that yes, she could have the prize she wanted if she put her mind to it. She pushed the lever down and pushed the cork into the barrel. Her eyes fixed on the target. She aimed for a pocky box that she could easily buy, but where was the fun in that? The box was on the top shelf, making it difficult to reach, especially since it was behind another prize.

She pushed the trigger.

Thump

Mr Okada bent his back, reaching for the candy box she had taken down.

“Yes!” she did a mini jump, out of excitement.

“Good Job Hyuga-Sama, here is your prize” she could feel her heart pounding. And smiled towards Neji, holding the box in her hand.

“Congratulations, Hinata. I seemed to have failed my shot” He sounded quite apologetic.

“Last shot” She said when he passed her the new cork. “Double or nothing” she dared him. He smirked.

“Deal!”

They both were highly focused on hitting their new targets, making 2 children toys fall down.

“Ah, really nice!” Said Mr Okada excitedly. “Children love these ones so much, I hope yours enjoy them” both blushed furiously at the man’s comment. Neji tried to keep a straight face when collecting all the things they had inadvertently accumulated. Walking away towards the next stand.

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“I’ll be right back guys, I have to wash my hands” Tenten stated, walking away from the table where they had been sitting

“Do you need us to walk you?” Lee asked attentively. 

“No, no. It’s ok.” She said tapping Lee twice over the shoulder.

Sakura saw her friend walking away. They were finishing the snacks that they had bought. She hadn’t really paid attention to Lee’s attire closely. His beautifully embroidered haori in black and white combined really nicely with olive green kimono and forest green hakama pants. It was not a combination that she had seen before. But it was surprisingly muted compared to his usual, more eccentric clothing. Thankfully he had been distracted, not noticing how Sakura had been going over his outfit. They continued eating, noticing by the time that they had ended that Tenten had not come back

“Sakura-chan” she flinched, being caught off guard. “Allow me please” He said, picking up the napkins and the glasses. While Lee threw the things in the trash, she noticed that there was a small piece of paper folded.

If you really want to open your mind to the opportunity, this is your call.

Seize it.

Tn

Oh my god Tenten! You set us up! The realization dawned like thunder. She was not planning on coming back. What was she supposed to do now? Yes, she had been interacting with Tenten, Neji and Lee earlier in the evening but it was different. Don’t panic Sakura, she told herself.  This is not the moment!

“Done! Tenten hasn’t come back, though. Should we check on her?”

“Mmm, maybe she got distracted in one of the stands. We could walk around and check if we see her” She didn’t want Lee to get suspicious, but maybe she could use her absence as an excuse to check the remaining stands and spend some time with him.

“She walked this way, we can check this area, and she can see us when she comes back”  Lee reflected, the game stands started appearing. 

“Did we do the Daruma Otoshi before?”

“No, we didn’t. Would you like to test your youthfulness there?”  

“Absolutely!” She said enthusiastically. Forgetting how nervous she had been feeling just a moment ago.

“Very well!” They walked straight into the vendor. “Hi! May we have one?”

“You guys are full of energy tonight. Here you go!” Lee paid so, both of them could start playing. “You know the drill” the vendor continued while organizing the colorful pieces in a vertical position “The first one to knock them down, looses”

Sakura took the hammer and  hit one of the pieces towards Lee, pushing the piece out but managing not to tumble the other ones.

“Your turn!” there was a sense of smugness and satisfaction within her and Lee could see it as she passed the hammer to him. Igniting his sense of competitiveness, smirking while taking the hammer.

“ M y turn” the pieces had moved slightly to the right, it would be a difficult shot to not make them fall down. He aligned the tool against the pieces and then hit them. 

Clank, clank, clank.

“Oops, bad luck Lee. I won”

“Not so fast. Another set please” Lee told the vendor

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“I told you” 

“I didn’t think she would dare,” Tenten confessed.

“Of course she would, Haruno might be scared but she isn’t a quitter. I think she is in denial about the possibilities.”

“What makes you say so?”

“Well, she has been following Lee’s every move. She hasn’t been able to take her eyes off him” 

“Wanna bet?”

“What do you propose?” Ino took a step closer, curious about what her friend was going to say.

“If she kisses him, you pay for the drinks”

“That’s not fair!! I was going to bet on them kissing!” 

“You snooze, you lose Ino” 

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“I think a bag might be necessary,” she said, seeing how Neji was holding everything in his hands.

“Maybe Akimichi-sama can give us one”

“Maybe, or maybe we can buy a bag in another stand”

They started walking towards the other stands, looking for a vendor savvy enough to foresee that many would need bags for the festival.

“Neji, my Boy” The clear voice of Mr. Miyazaki got to both of them, catching their attention. “It’s so good to see you both”

“Mr. Miyazaki, how are you doing?” Neji felt the panic rising on his throat when Hinata animatedly walked towards him. And he vehemently shook his head from side to side, hoping the old man would understand not to mention anything about the bag he had bought just some days ago. The shaking movement appeared to have been clear enough for the man since he immediately talked to Hinata about her kimono.

“Hinata-sama, how wonderful to see you tonight. You look utterly radiant.”

“Thank you sir. I knew having your family in charge of my Kimono for tonight had been the best election”

“My pleasure as usual, The Miyazaki family will always be at your service, for every needed occasion” She smiled warmly, the man and his family had dressed Hyuga heads and the main family for generations. The silk embroidery they did and their brocades had a distinct quality, making their garments distinctly recognizable.

“My boy, look at you, carrying all those things, allow me please” He passed Hinata a beautiful tote bag. The bag had been designed as an affordable option that they provided on occasions such as this one. “This one is on me”

“But-” Hinata complained, not wanting to make people feel as if they owed her things because of her new position.

“No but my lady. The Hyugas and the Miyazakis have always been in a good relationship, just take this as a token of a long-lasting business partnership”

“Thank you Mr. Miyazaki,” she bowed as a sign of respect. “Please hold on a second Neji, I will help you bag the things” She opened the bag, taking the bottle first, which was the heaviest. Then the toys, the pocky she had won and lastly, his keychain.

“May I?” She asked, feeling curious about it.

“Yes” Neji extended his hand and she saw that the keychain was a Daruma Doll “If you want it, you can have it” It was nothing, she knew it was nothing, but such a simple thing made her insides quiver. He had been so attentive all day and now that she knew about the presents, she couldn’t feel that maybe it could mean something.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s ok. You can have it” She didn’t need to ask a second time, she took it, opening the clasp and lacing it through the strap of her burgundy bag.

“Thank you”

Mr Miyazaki could only see how entranced each other they looked for a second.

“Perfect, now you can continue enjoying the festival”

“Thank you for the bag Mr Miyazaki” Neji also bowed towards the man.

“Always a pleasure my boy” he winked at him.

That had been close, thankfully Mr. Miyazaki was always very perceptive.

“So…” 

“So?” Hinata asked

“we haven’t discussed our double or nothing”

“Oh, right!” she had totally forgotten about it for a second

“What do you want to do now?”

“Hmmmm, well, I proposed going to the shooting gallery. But you haven’t chosen. So, it’s your turn to decide. What do you want to do?”

“Umm… I hadn’t really thought about it. What if we checked the goldfish? I remember seeing them around this area” He knew that would excite her.

“Yes! But each will only have 30 seconds to get theirs” He laughed. She hadn’t heard him laugh in a long time, and she laughed with him.

“Two please” Hinata told the vendor receiving the flat paddles. “Yours”

“Thanks Hinata. You go first.”

“Oh no, you go first!” Her voice sounded daring, not backing down from the challenge. He could not back down now. He squatted, looking for the optimal position that would allow him to catch the fish when-

“Neji” her voice called him, sounding weary. She looked worried.

“What is it?” He was worried.

“Your hakama… it got dirty. I hadn’t noticed”

“That’s not important, I can get it cleaned” He looked up, smiling, reassuring her that it was not a big deal.

“I’m sorry” He stood up again, not wanting to break eye contact, but she evaded him. 

“Hinata, look at me” He lifted her face up, holding her chin. “Don’t worry about that. The important thing is to enjoy the festival. Remember what you told me on our way here” So she closed her eyes for a second. He was right. She needed to focus on the important matters. She had decided that today she was going to be happy, it was the fireworks festival afterall. And, she also had an important conversation pending.

She opened her eyes, his face was so close to hers, and he was still holding her from her chin. Her heart was pumping fast. He was so close, she hadn’t really expected to see his face this close. 

When she opened her eyes, he saw them going from normal to glossy as fast as a heartbeat. If he just bent down he could just capture her lips. Tentation so big he dropped his hand in an instant, letting go of her face. 

“You are right, sorry” She felt as if she had been abruptly awakened. “It’s just that, this day was supposed to be a special one and I fear I have ruined it”

”I don’t think you have ruined it. If anything, I would blame other people for making you have a hard time” 

“I’ll pay for the cleaning”

“Please, Hinata, that’s not necessary. Let’s just get our goldfish, ok?” He used his arm to push her towards the small pool. “Why don’t you start?” He proposed.

“No, no. It’s ok. I want you to try first”

“Ok, I’ll go first” Neji squated once again and for thirty seconds tried in vain to get the goldfish he had been eagerly chasing. “Not my brightest hour, I must admit. I guess it’s your turn now” 

When she squatted, she noticed that her Kimono had gotten dirty as well. She tried pushing the events of the evening to the back of her mind. She pulled her sleeve backwards, not wanting to get her kimono wet. Paddle ready in hand, wanting to catch at least one of the fish before the timer had gone back to zero. Sadly, neither of them was able to finish the task that they had set their minds to. 

“Looks like I didn’t have any luck either” she said with a smile, enjoying the time they were spending together.

“Would you guys like to have your fish?” The vendor asked them. “I can put them in bags for you”

“Thank you” replied Hinata “But, I think it’s best to leave the fish for the children. 

“Are you sure my lady?” 

“Umm, yes. Just give double to the next children who come”

“That’s very thoughtful of you. Thank you for playing", the vendor said, bidding them goodbye. 

“So, where do you wanna-”

“Neji! Hinata!” Naruto called them cheerfully, approaching them. Neji inhaled seeing that Sai was a meter behind the blond, maintaining his distance.

“Naruto,” he interjected, not trusting the social skill of either of them. “I think you’ll have to excuse us, Hinata and I are busy right now; so, this is not the best the moment”

“Wait, wait!” He tried to stall them for a second “I want to ask her something” he tensed, a part of him was insecure and fearful about the possibility of her accepting another date with him, despite how terrible the last one had been.

“What can I do for you, Naruto-kun?

“Have you thought about it,  Hina?” Hina? He could feel the back of his head, pounding. He didn’t like the familiarity he was addressing her with.

His arm had moved from surrounding her shoulder to between her shoulder blades, not daring to let go, but not wanting to appear obvious. His instinct screamed to not let her go, while another part of him told himself that he needed to get his emotions under control. No matter how he addressed her she was still the clan head, and he wasn’t supposed to act so familiar around her. Taking another breath before slowly pulling his hand away.

But, he felt it, he felt the way she had tensed when Naruto had called her Hina. She had not liked it, not one bit.

She looked confused, not understanding what she was supposed to think about.

“Naruto-kun?”

“Hina, will you go with me to Ichiraku tomorrow?”

“Oh, well… I told you Naruto, I - I need to take care of my clan. I need to give them my attention”

“Just two hours, I promise it’ll be quick”

“Naruto” Neji wanted to say something but got quiet when she turned around to look at him, silencing him with her eyes. As much as she appreciated his intervention, this was something she had to deal with. So, she smiled in a manner that reassured him and commanded him, at the same time. She took a step backwards, closing the gap that he himself had widened, looking for his warmth once again. 

“As I said Naruto. My priority right now is my family. We might be able to eat at Ichiraku at some point later. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I have not  been feeling well” She laced her hand around Neji’s waist. “Please, excuse us” Neji’s hand also went around her waist, hugging her tightly against him.

Sai had kept one step back behind Naruto during the whole interaction. Even if it was a little he had started to understand that his words had hurted the Hyuga clan head, when both Hyugas walked next to him. He could see that she had visibly winced, avoiding all eye contact.

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“I don’t understand it! She keeps telling me later, but she doesn’t tell me when exactly.

“I think I read that in ‘kunoichi’ magazine as well…”

“Yeah? And what did it say?”

“Well… it said that later, is a polite way to say no”

“No? But she asked me to go out with her first… I thought she might still want to” 

Sai didn’t know what else to say, emotions were just too complicated.

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“Are you ok?”

“I will be” her voice sounded dejected, but it didn’t waver. “Neji '' she whispered more assuredly now “look… It’s the shrine. Do you mind if-”

“You don’t have to ask me. I’ll go behind you” He knew she needed this, as much as he needed it as well. She stood still for a second, frozen in place.

“What is it?”

“Do you think we can enter like this?” He sighed, not sure what to say. Checking her from head to toe. “I really want to pray for Hanabi”

“Let me check you once again” The orange light surrounding the shrine was a little dull, hiding the fact that their hakamas were a little dirty, thankfully their tabi socks had not absorbed anything, it was mainly the grass stains on his pants and her skirt. “I think the gods will be ok with us”

They bowed before setting foot into the shrine, making their way towards the water pavilion, each taking a ladle with their right hand, cleaning first the left one, washing according to the protocol. The movements were done in synchrony, before walking towards the main shrine.

“Here” she passed him a 5 yen coin.

“Thank you” After shaking the bell, bowing and clapping twice they were both praying, thanking the gods. Hinata thanked the gods for the last three months, thanking the gods for her friends, for Sakura, Ino and Tenten. She was also thankful for Neji, and all the happiness he had been providing her whether it was directly or indirectly, and thankful as well for his ingenuity, since he had just saved her from spilling her guts out in her first appearance at a public event since becoming Head. Finally, she thanked the gods for taking care of Hanabi and guiding her soul. 

Neji, on the other hand, thanked the gods for Lee, since he had been the one who encouraged him to be brave, for his sensei, who always took care of them and Tenten, she was like their little sister and he was happy that she had been able to use her knowledge, gaining the recognition she deserved. He thanked the gods for Hinata’s slow but steady recovery since she had been in a really bad mental space since her sister’s death; finally, he also thanked for his father’s wisdom who continued to guide him through the years.

They finished their prayer with one final bow.

An ease washed over her after the praying had finished, knowing that she had lifted the weight she had been feeling from earlier.

“Thank you Hanabi-chan” she whispered to herself.

･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚

Festival day! - 9:30 pm

“I think I'm hungry,” Neji told her, after going back to the festival street.

“I think I’m hungry too” Hinata confessed

“Maybe the others are in the food court”

“I hope that if we meet Naruto, he doesn’t ask me to go to Ichiraku with him. Two invitations are more than enough for one day”

“Wait… two?”

“Yes… He asked me out while you and Lee got us some water” 

“I - I thought you liked him”

She sighed.

“I did... But, even now I find it difficult to believe. My younger self would have probably fainted out of excitement. But I can’t do that now. I have abandoned the clan for almost two years. You guys let me mourn for as long as I needed, and I ended up letting go of my responsibilities. Asking Naruto out and trying to drink myself to oblivion that same night was probably the most reckless thing I have done since Hanabi’s death. I was not in the right frame of mind. Plus, it greatly breaks my heart how people misunderstand and think of us. If I am to go out with someone, that person would need to understand who we are as a clan and our history. A person who really can understand how we could change and improve. And he will never understand us. I think he is too naive and optimistic, he has made that perfectly clear”

“You will not be going out with Naruto then?”

“No” she said dejectedly, trying to process the hopelessness of the situation and allowing herself to let go of the desires her past self had. 

“What if another person asks you out?” She tried understanding the underlying tones in his voice, but he had even it, concealing any readable emotion. 

“I guess it would depend on who asks me out” She made sure to look him directly in the eye before daring herself to command the conversation. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Well… You’ve been traveling quite a lot lately. I imagine that you come in contact with many people and you talk to them. Should I get ready to establish diplomatic relationships with another clan or country? I would like to get ready in case you want to ask for anyone’s hand” He hadn’t thought about that, she was now in charge of the clan, she was in charge of their future marriages.

“Not yet Hinata-sa- Hinata, sorry” he was getting flustered. “Mayne Tokuma will be asking for your blessing soon, though,” he reflected. “It seems that his relationship with Natsu is going quite strong and steady.”

“Oh, I’ll… I’ll keep that in mind then. So, you are not planning on asking anyone’s hand in this moment”

“No, you don’t have to worry about that yet”

 

･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚

Festival day! - 10:00 pm

The warm orange light of the lamps gave an intimate environment in some areas, contrasting with the liveliness of the attendants and children that were running around going from one stand to another, engaging with the games, eager to see who could win the biggest prize or the most outstanding one.

Hinata was walking next to him, she looked happy. Some of her hair danced slowly to the cold night breeze. Winter could be felt around the corner. Tenten was walking between her and Neji, and both looked deep in conversation. She knew how much Tenten missed her team when she was sent on those long missions. Being away from home was something difficult for someone as homey as her, and Hinata certainly understood the feeling. Unlike Ino who was usually more outgoing and Sakura, who was somewhere in-between them.

Lee was walking next to Neji and to his left was Sakura, who looked amazing wearing the peony headdress Lee had bought her. For the first time in months, their generation was together. She had glimpsed Naruto around one of the stands with Shikamaru, who had dared him to solve a puzzle and he had chuckled seeing how poor Naruto struggled, knowing the pleasure it must have brought their strategic friend.

“There’s Ino,” she heard Tenten say.

“Guys! Chouji and I brought some Takoyakis! Just one each” She warned the group, and they wouldn’t dare mess up with her.

“They are very crunchy Tenten, I know how much you like Mrs. Unohana's cooking. So I bought an extra dish, just for you!” Chouji offered her the octopus snack.

The noise of the streets concealed the rumbling of the girl's stomach but Hinata was able to hear the girl’s stomach rumbling, making her laugh, covering her face with the back of her hand. It hadn't been her intention to react so visibly, yet it had been impossible to dissimulate. One second later she heard the munching and the nasal hums coming out of her starving friend.

“Hmph! You are a god-sent!” Tenten was practically vibrating with joy, satisfaction painted on her face even as her eyes were closed. It was funny to see how much she enjoyed her food.

“What time is it?” asked Sakura “I think we should start looking for a place to look at the fireworks”

“I have the perfect spot, we can get going,” said Ino, pulling Tenten from her arm.

“Umm sorry... but... Neji-on-Neji and I-” she corrected herself “I mean, we have to get going” Hinata could only hope for Neji to follow her lead.

“So early?” inquired Tenten. Disappointment was clear in her intonation “what about the fireworks?”

“Don't worry Tenten, I'll make it up to you” Neji walked towards the girl, kissing her forehead while she was still she chewing the octopus snack “Welcome back to Konoha”

“You better Hyumga or I'llm hunt you downm”

“I know,” he said, knowing perfectly well that she would.

Everybody said their goodbyes leaving the two Hyugas alone. Seeing how Sakura walked closer to Lee as the group moved away.

“N-Neji, can we look for another place to look at the fireworks?”

“Of course. Let's go before people start dispersing” He said, offering his arm to her, to which she obliged.

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

”Have you been enjoying yourself?”

“I have” said Hinata, starting to feel nervous again. Preparing herself mentally for the conversation she wanted to have, a part of her wasn't ready to confront him. She needed to confirm it though. She needed to know what this all had meant. The noisiness of the streets was being left behind as they continued looking for an area where they could watch the fireworks without disruption.

“These last few years haven't been the best ones” he listened attentively “it was nice to see everyone again doing something that wasn't related to a mission” a sad smile adorning her face “I think that sometimes the manor feels too big and it's corridors too long” she sighed.

“I know these years have been difficult without her” he stopped her halfway through the steps, his fingers tightly wrapped against her wrist, the tension of her arm making her turn around. Both intensively looking into the eyes of the other “it... may not seem like it but... we've got you Hinata-sa... Hinata. Kaya, Ko, Tokuma, and the rest of us. We've got you” her smile continued to be sad.

“Thank you” her eyes started watering a little “I think... I am happy today. Being with my friends and with... with you -  here, in this festival, it's something I ought to be thankful for after everything that has happened after the war and the attack. But, I want you to know that you are not obligated to keep me company if...”

“It's an honor to be here with you tonight. And the fact that you allow me to enjoy this moment with you... I should be the one thanking you”

“Neji” she said a little more sternly “we talked about this, didn’t we? Please don’t talk to me as if I am above you. We said we could be friends, right?”

“We are'' his heart struggling to recognize if they actually were, creating a pain deep in his chest. Friends... that sounded so light, breezy and joyful, all the things they hadn't been in the past. He felt the ache increase by the second. Hinata knew him, she could recognize the pain, and the bittersweet sensations that invaded him. But she didn’t want to insist on the topic now, at the risk of discomforting him.

Her hand rested on top of his, reassuringly.

･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚

Festival day! - 11:00 pm

The fireworks had started to pop, the radiant colors were decorating the night sky and she was feeling a little self-conscious, but happy and grateful at the same time. She had had a good evening, everybody seemed to be having a good time. She could see Ino and Tenten some meters away, their eyes shining with awe. It warmed her. They had been very supportive and encouraging.

Lee was next to her and if it weren't for her sandals, she wouldn't be able to reach his shoulders. She hadn't noticed how tall he had become.

“Is everything ok Sakura-san?” His sudden address made her blush “Don't tell me I have sauce on my face!” He was starting to get flustered “I'm sorry, can you excuse me while I go and clean myself?”

Sakura felt some anxiety in the pit of her stomach, she hadn't intended to make Lee feel as if she had been examining him. So she took her hands and canalized chakra from her hands, hoping to soothe the adrenaline running through Lee's system.

“Please, calm down! There's nothing on your face!” Lee was perplexed “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare”

“Why were you staring?” Lee was unsure if this was good or something to worry about.

“You are very tall, I - I was just remembering when we used to be the same height”

“It's been a decade, Sakura-chan. Our youthfulness has been in full swing ever since” He displayed his bright smile, taking after his sensei. She smiled back a little timidly, still unsure about the whole thing. Happy, but unsure.

“Yes, it's been 10 years and many things have happened during them. Many things have changed, I have changed” she said thinking about all the lows she had gone through.

“You had to, anyone under your circumstances would have to. Now you are focused, better and accomplished” she could feel her cheeks get warmer with every word “But some things don't change, you still have a good heart, you are still caring and noble” She felt her heart skip a beat and almost unconsciously raised her hands pulling him down, locking their lips together. Through her hands she felt the tension of his neck becoming more prominent, which made her realize what she had done. When she reacted and they separated they were equally stunned.

“Oh... am... I” Sakura couldn't find the words to say anything productive.

“It's ok Sakura-san, don't think about it” seeing how the panic was settling in her “We can go by as if nothing happened”

“No”, she said in a whisper. The fireworks had stopped and people had started going their way “I... I want to-to-” her hands were trembling. Lee was speechless, from all the ways that he had imagined the night ending, this wasn't one of them. He tried to smile warmly.

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

BOOM!

The explosions of the fireworks could be heard. Her eyes opened wide with surprise. She had been so engulfed in their conversation that the time had gone over their heads without either of them noticing.

Their conversation could continue later.

She pulled him up, encouraging him to continue going up those stairs. She had decided it, this was not a moment for sorrow.

“Common, let's get somewhere we can watch them better” She started pulling him up again.

They had found a pretty isolated spot, just for the two of them. Something that would be considered a feat under any circumstances considering how many people had attended the festival. But it was just the two of them and the beautiful fireworks in the sky. They had been able to go up one hill which wasn’t as close to the festival as other watching spots, but she needed this moment just for the two of them. A tear running down her cheek.

“Here” Neji extended a handkerchief in her direction.

“Thank you” she was feeling self conscious. “Sorry”

“You don’t have to apologize” He took a deep breath “It’s ok” She smiled at him.

The fireworks had started to slow down, the buzzing becoming less and less frequent.

“You know” she said while clutching the handle of her new handbag “I... I wanted to ask you something....” He looked at her expecting the question, but she didn't say anything.

Her hands went over the hardware of the burgundy bag, the one he had bought her, and saw how her fingers pulled something out, something that looked like a piece of paper. She unfolded it until a white envelope was extended to him. A cold chill running down his spine.

He looked down at the envelope, feeling the smooth texture of the paper though his fingers.

He had been left speechless, she had known. Since when?

“ How? ”

“I went to you room with the intention of leaving you a note, and… saw them in the drawer”

“How long have you known?”

”A week...”

A week. He repeated mentally. Fuck

He felt so embarrassed, he didn’t know how to face her.

“Thank you” he heard her say, still paralyzed, processing the fact that she had been aware that he was the one sending her the gifts she had been receiving. He felt how her arms wrapped around his torso and a pair of lips landed on his jawline

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

“Akimichi’s? I bet Shikamaru-san and the others are there for the after” Tenten pulled Ino until they reached the main street.

“No telling the others! I will just pay for your drinks!”

“Not a chance, of course I’ll tell them you are paying” Tenten was not going to let it slide so easily. Especially since she hadn’t been out of town for so long.

Ino rolled her eyes exasperated.

“Fine, you win this time”

･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆   .˳⁺⁎˚

Festival day! 11:30 pm

“Do you mind if I walk you home?”

“No” she shook her head trying to relax a little. Still feeling conflicted about pursuing whatever this was with him, she still thought that he deserved someone with less baggage. But something within her was boiling, full of curiosity.

The fireworks had stopped and everybody had started to go back to their homes. She looked around quickly, insecure about the whole thing but wanting to be brave at the same time. Ino and Tenten were nowhere to be seen, magically they seemed to have vanished. She knew Ino would want to know everything next time they met up.

The streets were lively, a lot of people had gone to bars and restaurants after the festival, civilians and ninjas could be seen on the streets walking under the black sky.

Fifteen minutes later she was standing in front of her apartment door.

Sakura stood on the tip of her toes, Lee could feel the warm breath of the girl raggedly caressing his face and then she whispered “Thank you for walking me and... Thank you for the headdress, it is quite beautiful” she finished pushing her rose petal lips against his cheek.

“Good night Lee-kun”

Lee was petrified.

How long had she known?

𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ 𓄹 ⊹   ᳝ ࣪⠀.  ִ  ་  ּ

The cold had become more and more prominent by the hour. She was almost to the point of shivering. Neji felt a little apologetic, neither of them had imagined that it would get that chilly, considering how pleasant the previous nights were. Nor, how cold it would feel despite their clothes, which were not light.

The areas leading to the Hyuga district were always more quiet compared to other areas of Konoha, especially since their neighbors had been the Uchihas, and their district continued being largely unoccupied.

He heard a dry pant coming from Hinata.

Achoo!

“Sorry,” she said, a little embarrassed.

“Bless you” he replied automatically “We should be arriving in 5 minutes, so hang on tight” He added a little shyly.

“Thank you Neji” She had noticed how quiet he had been acting since she had shown him the envelope. And in theory she knew that that was a normal reaction to expect, but she didn’t want him to retract. “It's your fault, you know?” He was feeling confused about her comment, and she was enjoying the confusion in his eyes. She laced her left hand around his right arm, a part of her feeling quite playful “You've created a monster now” Smugness poured from her voice. “I have really come to enjoy macarons” 

“ Oh ” He hadn’t expected her comment. Trying to process how close she was to him at that moment.

She was certain now, she was not misinterpreting his actions. The way in which he had retracted after she had shown him the envelope. The way in which he was always attentive around her. The way in which he looked at her. The way in which he always seemed to be there, just when she needed him. Her heart pounded really hard for a moment.

Thanking Hanabi at the shrine had really lifted her spirit and somehow provided her with clarity.  

To be continued...

✦ P R E V - F I R S T - N E X T ✦

✦ N E J I H I N A F A N F I C D I R E C T O R Y ✦

☆ P E R M I S S I O N S T A T E M E N T

Hi! so here is my policy:

Ask permission for:

Translating my fics to other languages (I do my own translations for english or spanish).

Recording podfics.

No need to ask permission for:

Making fanarts

Companion or reimagining fics

Other inspiration works

Big No-nos:

Reposting my works to other sites and accounts under any circumstances, I manage my own works.

Thanks!

[doumadono]

Emergency request

Been dealing with self esteem and weight issues lately which I know I can't control but it's slowly getting the better of me.. could I request the clones comforting an s/o with weight issues and low self esteem?

A/N: remember, it's okay to reach out for support and help during difficult times. Take things one step at a time, be kind to yourself, and focus on self-care and self-love. You're stronger than you think ♥

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Karaku

Karaku, with his easygoing personality, constantly reassures his S/O that he loves her just the way she is. He adores her for her uniqueness and never wants her to change for anyone.

He surprises her with little acts of kindness, like preparing her favorite snacks, to make her feel pampered and loved.

Whenever she has a bad day, he'll hold her close, reminding her that she's precious to him.

He encourages her to join him in fun and low-pressure physical activities, like going for a relaxing walk or having a light workout together, to boost her confidence and mood.

Karaku often compliments her genuine qualities, emphasizing her intelligence, kindness, and resilience. He reminds her that her worth extends far beyond physical appearance.

He enjoys dedicating his time to his S/O, reveling in the act of worshipping her body. After passionate moments together, he refuses to let her conceal herself, choosing instead to bestow kisses upon every inch of her form while whispering sweet affirmations about her beauty. "I can't help but adore every curve and contour of your body. You're a work of art."

"Remember, you're stuck with me, no matter what, khe-khe! and that includes all your beautiful imperfections."

Urogi

Urogi is incredibly attentive, always listening and understanding her feelings. He never judges his S/O.

He's known for his sassy and playful demeanor, often teasing his S/O with cheeky comments and light-hearted banter.

When his S/O is feeling down or experiencing a mood drop, he gently comes close and envelops her within his expansive wings, whispering to her that tears aren't necessary, and that this moment of sadness will eventually pass.

He's a fantastic cuddler, and he loves to hold her close and reassure her that she's safe and cherished in his arms.

Urogi encourages her to set achievable goals for herself, focusing on self-improvement rather than striving for unrealistic standards of beauty.

"You're unique, and that's what makes you so incredibly beautiful to me. Embrace your individuality."

Aizetsu

Aizetsu, being a bit mysterious and reserved, tends to show his love through actions rather than words. He constantly supports her, offering to help his S/O with tasks.

He often takes her to peaceful and natural places, like a serene forest or a calm lake, to help her connect with the beauty of the world beyond appearances.

Aizetsu is a great listener, often sitting with her in quiet moments, giving her space to express her thoughts and feelings. He never interrupts and offers a patient ear to help her release her burdens.

His presence alone provides a sense of comfort and understanding, as he values her words and emotions.

"Don't feel that way, my love, it's truly heart-wrenching, and it stirs up an overwhelming urge within me to shed tears."

He appreciates her artistic and creative side, encouraging her to express herself through writing or other creative outlets, helping her boost her self-esteem.

Aizetsu values her inner strength and resilience, often reminding her that she's much stronger than she thinks, and he's there to support her no matter what.

He's a master at creating an aura of calm and serenity, helping her relax and find inner peace when her self-esteem issues become overwhelming.

"Look at the stars. They don't judge. They just shine, much like your inner beauty."

Sekido

Sekido's anger is like a protective shield around his S/O. Whenever they face a threat or feel vulnerable, his anger flares up, ready to defend and shield them from harm.

Despite his constant anger, Sekido's unwavering support is evident in his actions. He's quick to take action when his S/O needs help, making sure she's always defended and cared for.

"Tsch! Don't keep things from me, weakling. It's fucking frustrating."

His anger also acts as a healing force, as he fiercely helps his S/O confront her fears and insecurities. He encourages her to face challenges head-on, providing the motivation and courage she needs to overcome obstacles.

Sekido cherishes the quiet moments with his significant other. He understands the importance of relaxation and calm, and in these moments, he is surprisingly gentle and tender.

He often points out her accomplishments and the things she's proud of, emphasizing that her worth goes beyond her physical appearance.

"Don't let fear hold you back. You've got this, and I'll be right there beside you."

[heartsickelf]

Your Mother Loved You (Chapter 3)

Summary:

Thranduil embraces his newfound strength from a restful night's sleep in which he receives a much-needed message from the heavens. He and the prince share a rare moment, reminiscing over the one they have lost, and Legolas' resolve to see his mother again is stronger than ever as he carries out his plans to find that which will help him.

CHAPTER 3

Thranduil awoke to the sun radiating in from his balcony window, allowing the warmth to fill his tired soul. Before opening his eyes to greet the new day, he allowed himself this moment to completely surrender to the warm embrace resonating around him. He believed it to be an extension of the loving embrace of his late wife whose loss still tormented his wounded heart. While in this calming state, Thranduil was thinking about the dream that had transpired during his deep rest. He was unable to remember the whole of it, but he did remember a face; the only face he longed to see. Hers.

He had held her closely to his chest as he lay kisses over the top of her head, along her cheek, and finally reaching her lips where he lingered, surrendering to the sensation. Sighing deeply, he tried to find the words he needed to say, and each time he opened his mouth to start speaking, he stopped. Somehow, she knew what her husband’s mind was trying to ask so she provided her response.

“I know, my love. I know. Life has not been kind to you and yet you live each day for that of your kingdom and our son. You must be kinder to yourself now and allow yourself to grieve my death after all this time. Stop pushing it aside. Allow yourself the tears that you’ve been hiding away to flow from you, taking away the sorrow a bit more each time.”

Thranduil holding her face gently between his hands as his forehead rests on hers, eyes closed, and listening to each word like a prayer. He breathes deeply and manages to say, “But what of Legolas? I am not strong enough to grieve for you while he still suffers terribly from the memories of that day. The day we… lost… the day you…” Thranduil could not bring himself to finish the sentence.

The Queen placed a gentle but affirming hand on the side of Thranduil’s face, making him look into her eyes. “Yes, Legolas has suffered greatly. His memories of my passing will never fully heal, nor will they fade, however, he is strong. As time goes on, he will be able to think of me without firstly remembering that fateful day. Instead, he will reminisce about the memories we shared during our brief time together, and where there have been tears of sadness, they will be replaced with the warmth of a smile. It will happen. Have faith in Legolas. He has your will about him and with you healing alongside him, this will pass. I promise you.” She leaned up and gave Thranduil a reassuring kiss before embracing him until a blinding light surrounded them and she was gone.

Thranduil slowly opened his eyes and while he felt the moisture of his tears in the corners, he allowed a small, subtle smile to creep into the corner of his mouth. “Ok, meleth nin. I believe you; I feel you. I love you,” he whispered as he slowly rose from his bed. Swinging his legs over the side, Thranduil wiped his face with the palms of his hands, and he could swear he felt the grasp of his wife’s hand on his shoulder, reassuring him that he would get through this. Allowing the smile to grow a little more, he took a deep breath and rose to stand, allowing his newfound strength to lead him through this day.

Legolas was also in the process of rising for the day. Having woken up a little earlier than his father, he was already dressed and ready to face the challenges ahead as he thought over his plans. He strolled through the halls of the palace to meet his father for the morning’s meal. A ritual of sorts they had incorporated to ensure that they both received quality time together in between his father’s Kingly duties. As it was just the two of them now, this time together was extremely precious to both the King and the prince.

Legolas opened the doors to his father’s chambers and walked toward the dining area to take a seat opposite his father. “Legolas. Good morning, son. How was your rest?” Thranduil asked, pleased that his son had slept through an entire evening peacefully, or so Legolas would have him believe. “Well, father. And yourself?” Legolas asked curiously, knowing the assistance his father took to welcome the slumber. Keeping a curious ear out for any hint of his mother’s appearance during the sleep. “Yes, I rested very well indeed. Better than I have in a long time. Perhaps I will be able to enter today’s meetings with my full attention instead of wishing I was anywhere else.” Legolas let out a little chuckle at the notion. “Father, even on your best days you would wish you were elsewhere. Don’t pretend you’ve ever personally invested your full attention in those tedious meetings.” Thranduil let out a hearty laugh at Legolas’ words. “I fear you are correct, my observant prince.”

Legolas tried not to stare at his father, but he could not remember the last time he had heard laughter escape him as it did just now. It had certainly been before his mother’s passing. What had the King in such high spirits this day considering the state Legolas saw him in the night before?

“Still, entering those “tedious” meetings as you so eloquently put it, will be far more bearable after a full night's sleep.” The King remarked. Noticing the look on his son’s face, he questioned Legolas. “What troubles you so that you look upon me with such perplexity?” Legolas quickly changed his facial expression that he hadn’t realised he was making and looked down at his hardly-touched meal. “Legolas, please, what troubles you?” his father pushed.

“Nothing, Father. I mean, well, yes. Forgive me if I speak plainly?” Legolas asked.

“I welcome it, my son. Tell me” Thranduil replied.

“It's just that… I cannot remember the last time I heard you laugh.” Legolas stated before taking a deep breath and continuing, “In fact, I cannot remember the last time I saw your smile and your heart appearing to be this… light. What has changed suddenly?” he asked as he remembered his father’s broken state from the night before.

“I see.” Thranduil began, “It saddens me to hear these words, but it saddens me more to find myself agreeing with your thoughts. I suppose there has not been much these past few decades to find humor in. There was a time when I would engage in laughter often. Usually when I was with…” he hesitated, “… in the company of your mother. She helped me to find the joy in life.”

Legolas didn’t look up from his plate as he listened to his father speak about her. The pain was still too near and not often since that day had the King even mentioned the woman who brought him into this world. Thranduil noticing the grief creeping into his son’s heart, reached over and took one of Legolas’ hands into his own. “She is with us, son. Can you not feel her? She looks upon us even now and provides us with the strength to endure.” At the sound of these words, a gust of wind entered the chambers from the balcony window and flowed through to the area where the two royal elves were currently seated, hand in hand. Thranduil closed his eyes and felt the breeze flow through him while Legolas watched his father’s reaction. He wanted so desperately to feel his mother’s presence around him as his father did but was unable to allow it into his heart for fear of being disappointed.

“I want to, father. I want to feel her around me and believe she is here as you do. Something is preventing me, and I do not know what”. Legolas declared.

“Faith, Legolas,” Thranduil answered. “Know that she loves you and would see you smile again. She would not have you remember her with sadness in your heart. Instead, she wishes for you to remember her whole. The little moments that you both shared. Fleeting laughs and meaningful words between you both. That is her wish, my son. If you allow her spirit into your heart, she will guide you”.

Legolas looked upon his father who was returning his son’s gaze with love and hope. “H… how do you know this is her desire?” the prince asked, pulling his hand away from his father. Thranduil hesitated before answering, not wanting to worry his son. “A dream, Legolas. She appeared in a dream and informed me of such.” Curiosity washed over the prince, “She came to you? Why?” Legolas asked remembering the medicinal tea he overheard his father mention to Feren the night before. “I do not know,” Thranduil said, “but I welcomed it as I have been finding myself lost without her wisdom. Whether or not it was her spirit or my mind longing to speak to her, it was a good dream and one I would have again given the chance.”

Hearing these words just cemented Legolas’ resolve. He longed for such motherly wisdom and comfort and as such, he would see that she would appear to him this night. Noting the concentrated look on his son’s face, Thranduil stated, “Come now. Let us finish our meal and move forward with our newfound strength from the message gifted to us. I shall be heading to the first of many “tedious” meetings in a few moments. What will you do this day, young prince?”

Legolas hesitated briefly as he quickly thought of a story to tell his father. Then he remembered about the hunting party that was to depart soon to the forest. “The kitchen staff has informed me that the food supplies are beginning to dwindle. I had plans to go hunting to replenish the stores.”

“Very well then. I shall ensure that the relationships between Mirkwood and the surrounding areas are strong while you ensure the people of Mirkwood are fed and nourished” Thranduil announced proudly. “Unless, future King, you would prefer to join me in today’s consultations.” A mischievous smile appeared on the King’s features. “Father, while your offer is generous for that of one in your position, I regret that I will have to pass on such an opportunity.” Legolas smiled back at his father. Thranduil clapped his son on the back of his shoulder as he made his way for the door of his chamber. “I thought as much. Go, enjoy your hunt. Aim true, my son. Don’t prolong the suffering of that which would sustain us.” And with that, Thranduil left his son alone in his chamber, not having any reason to suspect any wrongdoing from the prince.

Legolas stood from his chair, looking down at his half-eaten meal. He placed his hands flat on the table, hunched over slightly, and let out a sigh with his head hanging low. “I will see her again. I must see her again. Tonight” and with that, he made his way to his father’s cupboard where the basic medicines and herbs were kept for the King’s private use should he require them. Legolas gently moved things around desperately searching for that one item that would allow him to see her again.

[strywoven]

cont'd. // @drippingheart

ONE DAY , he says ⸺ The words ( which might be mistaken for a promise ) inspire in the devourer a s m i l e , an affirming hum.  It is only a meager solace , but one she graciously accepts ( her soul , too , is quelled by the prospect ; imagine , a world where even the condemned might know salvation ) .  ❝ Such a day cannot come soon enough , ❞ The reply is not bitter so much as wistful , her humor m e l a n c h o l i c .  ❝ Glad I am to provide a hand to serve the purpose , at least. ❞  And she means that.

His question feels warranted , the slightest of pries into the woman newly welcomed into the cause.  It is not lost on her that t h i s appears to be a commonality they share ( & one she does not often find footing with amongst others very often , either ) ; she has seen it , he understands what it is like to LOVE & CHERISH a child.  Thus his prompting about own daughter is , despite her secrecies , a w e l c o m e one ; it provides a push in the RIGHT & PROPER DIRECTION , setting the foundation for what might well be a stronger connection going forward ( with any luck ) .

Her hand dips into the fold of her waistcoat , within an inner-pocket , to procure her wallet , and then a set of pictures carded together.  Holding them , h e s i t a t i n g , Verona at last makes the offer , handing them to Suguru so he can see for himself ( there are several , unsurprisingly ; memories tucked together of three people – verona , her wife & her daughter – frozen in moments of laughter & bliss ) .  After watching him sift through the images she steps closer , leaning in to tap her clawed digit to one of them – a photo of a spritely little thing , all frazzled hair and beaming grin with missing tooth , currently holding up a poorly made ceramic monster ever so proudly – and speaks , voice hush and bittersweet , ❝ We named her Ravona.  And she was so … ❞ The thought trails , her eyes drifting over the photos , distant and detached , fading off into a place bygone before eventually continuing , ❝ … P e r f e c t .  Sweet and spirited , and a natural talent.  You know , she would always i n s i s t I use my illusions for her to play pretend.  She was so fascinated by how it worked , always asking questions , always eager to learn and understand and …— ❞

Her voice audibly BREAKS .  Verona gathers herself , shaking her head and taking a breath before pointing to another image in the fold , this of a refined and demure woman perched by the window with a mysterious little smile as she tilts her head back to regard the camera.  ❝ — And this gorgeous woman was my wife , Lenore.  You would have hated her , she was human.  She had cursed energy but no grasp on how to control nor utilize it , neither would her family allow the education for it.  I remember them DESPISING ME ; which only made our runaway marriage that much more thrilling in the end.  It was her idea that we settle and have a child at all. ❞

It falls quiet for several long measures.

❝ … They … They were KILLED .  Taken from me due to my own sins.  I live with that grief and remorse , the image of their bodies , every day I survive them. ❞

[caeca-iustitia]

@phantasiiae from here

-

“Aye,” came an affirmative, a wry smile twisting pale lips, “Pleased to meet you again, Miss Gainsborough…”

Morticia- Vincent- would shake her head now and sigh before looking away. The questions felt uncomfortable and it puzzled her as to why. Maybe it was pity for this poor girl who had not asked to be thrown into these endless cycles and chewed like the toy of an overly excited dog.

As the poor girl trembled and shook, she shifted close enough to gently lay a small yet surprisingly warm hand on the other's knee. Something akin to the affection one's older sibling may provide when life is going poorly. 

Present but not overwhelming.

A reminder that she is no longer alone.

“The me of this iteration does not yet know of the cycles and will not for some time,” Morticia reveals softly, “They will be… aggressive and hostile at first in a way that may cause you all harm. If what I have seen is true then you may need to beat some sense into me… literally.”

A small hint that there lay a battle ahead that could hurt someone quite seriously.

While Morticia may be unable to prevent it from happening entirely, since the Planet was who dictated where she appeared and did not, she could at least forewarn someone who could see her. That battle would not be an easy one and she would rather be punished later for revealing something she should not than leave them to wander merrily to their possible deaths at the claws of Galian and Chaos.

“I am simply a fraction of one that came before,” she says with a shake of her head now, retracting her hand slowly, “One that failed to repair what you now seek to. I cannot recall how many cycles it has been since my own… innumerable I would wager.”

She sighs and shakes her head again as if dislodging cobwebs from the recesses of her mind.

“You are a strong young lady, Aerith,” she says quietly, sending the other a soft smile, “Stronger than I for certain. You have endured much and will have to endure more still. This cycle of seemingly unending torment will reach its finale one day but that day is not yet upon us.”

She hums and tilts her head back, staring at the white ceiling of the cell with contempt.

“My presence here is no mistake,” came her quiet voice, her gaze fixed on the ceiling, “I demanded to be sent here in place of another version of you. I thought the memories of that past life may be too much after being brought back to this place. Besides, that version of you is busy right now. Busy trying to appeal to what shards remain of Sephiroth within that body that is not his own. It is not a fight, not yet, but a negotiation or plea. She is unaware that nothing remains of that child in there… his true self lies far beyond where she can reach… he is safe there, at least.”

Morticia chuckles humourlessly.

“So you must bear with my presence a while longer. I am unsure how long, exactly, but it may be a bit longer than you or I wish,” she says, looking back at Aerith, “How are you holding up? I know that these seemingly unending cycles can be incredibly mentally taxing…”