#someone come and collect me cause i am going insane

[thresholdbb]

I have a gripe about the Star Trek mugs...

Picard's teacup is a delicate, fragile little thing held by a strip of plastic and a dream. That thin glass will break if you look at it sideways. And where do they put that ridiculous tiny cup? On the Enterprise, which is always being dragged into conflict

The DS9 raktajino mugs are hefty, wide-based things that are meant to not tip over. They're called no-spill mugs. They have a foam piece on the bottom so they don't slip. They're incredibly sturdy – meant for ships and traveling! Where do they put them? At the station, which is arguably the most stable place they could be cause DS9 rarely gets knocked about.

Far as I'm concerned, Janeway's the only one doing practical space mugs correctly. Come on, a metal travel mug that's as strong as her coffee is black? Takes a beating through 70,000 light years of bridge shakes fighting off the Borg and the Hirogen and still holds a hot drink? Now that's a space mug

[astonmartinii]

Could you do a smau where she’s max’s sister and dominating MotoGP the way max is f1. Maybe they have the typical annoying younger sister/protective big brother relationship and he finds out she’s dating one of the f1 drivers? Xx

cherry lip balm | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x motogp!verstappen!reader

the verstappen siblings run motorsport, but the youngest's f1 allegiances may belong elsewhere

f1 and motogp

liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 1,405,466 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, yourusername

f1 and motogp: happy international siblings day to max and y/n verstappen, these two have 60 wins between them 🏆

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user1: my faves i love them

user2: the way jos wasn't gonna let them kids do anything else lol

yourusername: + victoria verstappen the patron saint who puts up with both of us love you 🥰

maxverstappen: you mean putting up with you ? i'm a mature man of the world now

yourusername: girl you are fussier than all of our nephews put together mature MY ASS

maxverstappen1: i am mature and i have BOUNDARIES

yourusername: yeah you have boundaries between all your food you bland man

victoriaverstappen: i think you just proved y/n right

user3: they are the most unhinged people ever i feel so bad for victoria lol

user4: patiently waiting for y/n's championship

marcmarquez93: no marquez representation?

yourusername: you need to serve more

maxverstappen1: you guys don't have the verstappen sass

user5: someone needs to stop them 😭

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 832,771 others

yourusername: the two sides of a race week

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user6: the way she won this race and was like yeah i need that 0.5 of me drinking coffee actually

yourusername: it's a hot chocolate cause i'm a child

user7: are we all collectively ignoring the whole ass man on the last slide?

maxverstappen1: no we're not Y/N Y/M/N VERSTAPPEN CALL ME THIS INSTANT

yourusername: calm it on the all caps and maybe i'll call you

maxverstappen1: MAYBE?

yourusername: well that's not making it any better maxie

user8: i can't loose this parasocial relationship y/n get that man's hands off of you now

landonorris: y/n please pick up max's call he's threatening to throw my monza trophy PLEASE PICK UP I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY TROPHIES

yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about all caps and then come back

landonorris: y/n may you please call your beloved brother back so my very limited trophy collection does not get destroyed

yourusername: sure just for you lando ❤️

maxverstappen1: STOP FLIRTING PLEASE

yourusername: i just picked up ... and ur still commenting (plus that's not lando in the pic btw he's too skinny to be him)

landonorris: why am i getting bullied by both verstappens today, i'm just trying to help :(

maxverstappen1

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maxverstappen1: there's no party like a verstappen party and a verstappen-only party with no BOYFRIENDS because they don't exist :)

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user14: ahaha passive aggressive max is my fave

yourusername: just cause you're too much of a pussy to ask charles out so i can't have a boy friend?

maxverstappen1: what?

yourusername: what?

user15: max as overprotective brother is my new favourite thing

danielricciardo: i fear y/n is 22 years old and her own woman

yourusername: awwww thanks danny at least one man here has SENSE

maxverstappen1: how much did she pay you to comment that?

danielricciardo: she didn't pay me but my house plant currently at hers was being held at gun point

yourusername: i would never

danielricciardo: so i can delete my comment

yourusername: do that and sheila gets it

user16: i know we should be more concerned with max going insane, but daniel's choice of name for his house plant is the most pressing issue

user17: hear me out but for comedic purposes ... i need y/n's bf to be a driver

maxverstappen1: do not speak that into the universe

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 808,943 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: i like the taste of her cherry lip balm

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user22: what 😭 the 😭 fuck 😭

yourusername: you don't taste half bad either ;)

oscarpiastri: come back to bed

maxverstappen1: NO NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE OSCAR JACK PIASTRI WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT MY SISTER

oscarpiastri: how do you know my middle name?

maxverstappen1: i called your mum, anyhow YOU ARE A DEAD MAN

oscarpiastri: how did you get my mum's number?

maxverstappen1: i'm trying to threaten you please stop asking questions

yourusername: maxy please stop trying to be scary i know you still wear footy pjamas at christmas

maxverstappen1: well i hope oscar is terrified by my christmas spirit

user23: i feel like i lose brain cells watching y/n and max talk to each other

user24: we ignoring the fact that max managed to get oscar's mum's number just to ask for his middle name PETTY KING

maxverstappen1: it was more than a middle name, i needed a character witness

yourusername: CHARACTER WITNESS? YOU WORK WITH HIM? YOUR BEST FRIEND IS HIS TEAMMATE?

maxverstappen1: i understand you are making points and no one has a bad word to say about him ... but i've got to stick to the bit now

oscarpiastri: so i'm not going to die in hungary?

maxverstappen1: no. but keep all your business to yourself, i don't need to know what lip balm my sister uses and that you own a bed

oscarpiastri: got it 🫡

user25: well that was dramatic

maxverstappen1

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maxverstappen1: congrats on your first podium in f1 oscar, welcome to the family i guess ... don't take photos on my phone every again

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user28: so we can all say oscar has max's approval now?

user29: mans was like wow he challenged me in the race he has the stamp of approval now

yourusername: jokes on you we look great @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri: and what the people don't know is that max was also doing face masks with us

maxverstappen1: not the serve you think it is i am very secure in my masculinity

yourusername: i'm glad you've gotten over your weird older brother act ... does this mean you'll both come to my next race?

oscarpiastri: i'll be there :)

maxverstappen1: i guess

yourusername: whooooooooop finally

user30: the way i am so happy for oscar i feel like i've been on this journey with him

user31: honestly rookie of the year and it's not even close

user30: i was talking about him and max... but yeah he's doing great !!!

landonorris: can i also get a pass for your next race y/n for keeping it a secret?

maxverstappen1: WHAT

yourusername: ur so dumb i actually can't

oscarpiastri: i'm not helping you here dude i just got approval

landonorris: well now i regret helping you guys

maxverstappen1: open your door lando

user32: is he dead?

yourusername

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yourusername: fifth win of the season, my family and the love of my life, what could be better

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user33: i feel like the shit storm of max and oscar has defo distracted us from the fact that f1 and motogp fans are suffering through a verstappen winning nearly every race

maxverstappen1: i want everyone to appreciate my character growth as i took that gross ass last photo

yourusername: thank you maxy, what a sacrifice

oscarpiastri: thanks dude, you did push me in the water right after though

maxverstappen1: uh you snooze you lose, a verstappen rule of life, you had no phone on you so fair game, i thought you wanted to be part of this family

oscarpiastri: I DO ... does this mean i can push you in next time?

maxverstappen1: absolutely not.

yourusername: do it anyway osc i'll protect you babe

oscarpiastri: idk i'm scared

yourusername: he's ticklish he's so easy to beat

maxverstappen1: THAT WAS A SECRET Y/N

user34: if you told me last season that i'd see max go from wanting to kill piastri to being brothers with him and that i'd know he wears footy pjs and is ticklish i'd laugh in ur face

maxverstappen1: ONLY AT CHRISTMAS

oscarpiastri: don't worry mate i think it's cute

maxverstappen1: okay now i prefer you over y/n

yourusername: who? what? where? when? why?

oscarpiastri: soz babe you snooze you lose

note: ahhhhh i really enjoyed writing this so i hope you enjoy i love writing comment domestics if you couldn't tell lol xx

[ghouljams]

I love all of the AUs you have going or are beiginning to introduce, but I think your fae au has wormed its way beneath my skin too deeply to remove. I love how you combine horror and romance. Truly appeals to my monster fucker heart.

I have so many questions about fae!König's Liebling! Have they always been able to see too much or did something cause it? How did it come about that they took over the shop that the fae so clearly love? (and why did the actual owner never return? could they see things too?)

Also this line make's me want to sink my teeth into König right back:

"When were you born? He hoped it was a warm month. He wanted to sink his teeth into you, taste you through the flowers that conceal your scent from him."  

The idea that the month someone is born has an impact on their being is fantastic!

I love this ask, I want to sink my teeth into this ask and shake like a dog. But instead I'm kicking my feet and giggling about it like a damn schoolgirl.

I love dropping pieces of small magic into the fae au, I don't think I've done more with the birth months thing, but it feels very... definitive to Liebling's being in that moment. König thinks in fae terms and in his mind her Fiesty personality reads like a warm weather fae. So he makes an assumption.

For the rest of your questions I'm going to write a little Liebling pre-König fic. Because I do love her and don't wanna just infodump.

You've been working at the shop for almost a year now. It's good work, easy work, within walking distance of your flat. Most importantly it pays well. Really well. Like you're not really sure the owner is even taking a cut of the profits well.

You like it! Except that it always feels like half the people in the shop are just vibing and admiring the flowers. You're not sure what's up with that, but the owner doesn't seem to mind so you don't ask questions. You're paid well enough you're happy to just let it be.

Except today. Today questions are about all you have.

"I didn't even know you were engaged," you frown watching Tock(the owner) pull boxes off the shelves in the back. He's digging through them frantically and hardly bothering to clean up as he goes.

"I wasn’t," he says, pulling a string of shells out of the box. He taps each one and listens for a moment before nodding and throwing it in his suitcase.

"But you're going on your honeymoon..." You say slowly hoping that he understands how those two ideas can't really coexist.

"I am," he sigh, dreamy eyed as he pulls what you think is a vibrator free of the box. You avert your eyes, and hope it wasn't used in the store.

"Seems like a bit of a leap in relationship status, that's all I'm saying."

"You humans are so finicky about that stuff," Tock waves your comment off, vibrator still in hand, you've noticed he's saying humans a lot today. He didn't do that before. "Too many emotions all at once, that's why you're never going to find anyone."

Ouch.

"Would you stop waving that thing around?" You drag your hand down your face. Tock stares at the vibeator and shoves it into his bag, zipping the whole thing closed immediately after. Apparently finished packing.

"Alright, I'm all done here. I've got your name on the store records and you've got keys. I shouldn't be gone too long, but you know the wild. Am I forgetting anything?

"Your brain?" You try, starting to worry your boss might have actually gone insane, "what are you even talking about? I'm not on the store records."

"Yes you are." Tock tips his head to the side, "I put you on them, I certainly can't manage this place on my honeymoon. Don't really care to manage it again either."

"I say again what are you talking about?"

Tock snaps his fingers, apparently remembering whatever he'd been asking you about. "Severence, duh." He takes a step towards you, you take a step back, "I really owe you a bigger debt than this but I don't think you'll ever collect so..."

He grabs your head and leans down so quick you barely have time to squeeze your eyes shut before he kisses one then the other. Something cold drips into them, or around them, you've never felt anything like this it's hard to describe the feeling of your eyeballs being dunked in ice water and pulled out just as quickly.

You blink them open as Tock pulls away, trying to make the post squeeze vision fuzziness go away. It feels like some sort of curtain has been dropped over, or no. More like a veil has been lifted, one you never would have known about if you hadn't seen it for yourself. Tock stands in front of you, haloed by fluff and two very prominent feathery antennae.

"Boon granted!" He says letting you try not to lose your shit. "Alright shop rules, very important to abide by them so everyone else does too, don't give out your name, no please and thank yous, be polite, Yada Yada, I went through all of this in training.

"Wait, what did you-"

"Be a good girl while I'm gone, I'll miss you! Maybe!" Tock tugs the door to the shop open and you're hit with a gust of wind, the scenery behind the door looks painterly and gorgeous, it's definitely not the shop. You don't even manage your own goodbye before he's out the door and closing it behind him.

When you panic rush to open the door it'd just the shop again. Your regulars mill about, plucking at flowers and enjoying the atmosphere. All of them turn to stare at you. All of them look monstrous. Far flung from you boss's fluff and softness. You slam the door shut on your ensuing panic attack.

You absolutely cannot do this.

[niuniente]

Hey, I appreciate messages like "You can't say or reblog this or that" because sometimes something can slip past by me. However, I would like to underline that this is my blog and I'm speaking about my life, my experiences, my life journey, from my own perspective.

Let's repeat; MY experiences. MY life. MY life experiences. NIU.

Someone's journey is different than mine but it doesn't make my journey or my experiences (about my own self, especially) any less meaningful to me or wrong.

Your intentions are surely good, I'm certain of it, but it honestly diminishes and erases my own personal experiences if you go "but but this person, this group, these people, what about me and them and they over there? You aren't thinking about them!"

No. I am not. Not when I'm talking about my own life experiences and how life has been to me. How it has treated me, what I have faced, what kind of personality I have got since I was little etc. I'm not an influencer or a moral police or a shrink or someone else running this blog for others' sake, to raise awareness of this and that. I'm just a random, never-heard woman from North Europe eating ice-cream, collecting stickers and living my life with whatever cards the Life dealt to me - and I'm not talking in this blog about other people's cards the life dealt to them. This is a diary-fandom blog for God's sake!

If my experience, for example, is that I survived an ordeal X fine, people coming to complain that I can't say that because others didn't survive the same ordeal is putting the blame and burden of unknown people's lives on me. I'm not God nor a shrink. I'll do my best to help others in my every day life but expecting me to be a Saint 24/7 for all possible people, causes, experiences etc. out there globally is absolutely insane - especially when I'm speaking about my own personal experiences. Like they don't matter.

It's like when I drew a comic about suicide and people came to me like "You can't draw that :( What about those who think about killing themselves and struggle with that topic?"

I'm terribly sorry for all who struggle and deal with horrible stuff, but my blog or my comic isn't the right place for such people to seek out for help or refugee for such matters. You need to see someone who CAN help. Not a random Tumblr person. Seriously! If something I write about in my own blog about MY OWN LIFE AND MY OWN LIFE EXPERIENCES upsets you then it's something you need to shelter yourself from with.

Please, you're always welcomed to block and unfollow. Anyone. Anytime. Anywhere. That's OK and healthy!

[mythicalmyles]

A dream i had has been haunting me so here i am.

A jock any sport my dream wasnt specific just a popular jock is the reader and he is just so popular and everyone loves him and of course everyone assumes since his this big jock his the dom in the relationship between him and his boyfriend when in fact his the complete opposite.

The boyfriend can be in the band or a part of the cheer team again it depends on the sport and my dreams never clarify, He hears one of these conversations and has a brilliant idea that he was gonna put the reader in his place and everyone is gonna know that place.

I have no idea what kinks would be used, Just kinky and maybe some praise but ropes are involved or something, just use your imagination

Honestly just nerds putting jocks in their place 🤭🤭

U have in turn haunted me with this request 😤 i hope u enjoy since u didnt say who so i used toby bc hhhh i hope das oke <3 yall need to tell me more dreams ong (football is soccer) also sorry for so much toby but hes my cc and i need hims content

/tobys back story for today, put up w bullying met you, go to college together he kills his parents a couple weeks before instead leaving them in the basement and hiding their deaths, tobys already snapped but still has comprehension of who he was as a kid/

college au/jealousy kinda fic/comfort at start kind

/violence(toby gets violent too a character who doesn’t matter)blood/minor gore(?)/

You let out a gasping huff, bending over hands on your knees as your body scraped for oxygen. Sweat caused your football strip to stick to you, you dragged the wet clothing off of your sticky body, fanning it hoping to cool yourself down. “Thats it for today ladies!” The coach shouted, finally dismissing you all from practise.

You wiped the sweat off of your brow using your shirt as you jogged to the locker rooms. Mentally preparing yourself for the stink of many sweaty men crammed into one room, you pushed the door open immediately hit with the odour and cringing. You ignored it and made your way to your locker, you were convinced of the fact the cleaners had never stepped foot in here.

You all but threw yourself down into a bench after collecting your things, leaning against the wall and taking deep breaths. Your soaking hair clung to you and you brushed it away, the wetness helping it stay out of your face. A towel was thrown next to you and you cocked an eyebrow up at the intruder, trying to keep the scowl off of your face when the team captain came into view.

His cocky smirk drove you to the brink of insanity, the urge to knock it off of his arrogant face overwhelming. “Whats the deal with you and twitchy?” You glowered at him. “Dont call him that.” He had the audacity to laugh as he began stripping, the locker room falling silent as your voices bounced around the room. “Well?” He laughed armed raised and looking around as if he was confused. “You fucking him or something?” You tried not to flush, doing your best to cover any affect he might see with a glare. “If we were? So what?” You challenged, keeping eye contact with the prick.

He laughed and shook his head. “Calm down princess no need to get so angry, was just askin’.” Before you could respond your boyfriends voice had your attention to him, shock covering your face as you thought he still had band practise. “Speak of rats and they come crawlin’.” Your captain was incredibly lucky your entire life was banking on a sports scholarship.

“Fuck you want?” Toby’s deep voice always sent shivers running up your spine, the anger in his tone not helping. He sounded even hotter when he was spitting fire at someone. You took a deep breath, ready to tell Toby to forget it and to go home. “Yeah he was telling us alll about how he fucks you.” Paul chucked, arms crossed as he smirked at you both.

You could feel how angry Toby was getting at this point, dealing with his shit for way longer then you had at this point. What you didn’t expect was for Toby to lunge forward slamming straight into paul and slamming his head off of the ground, you froze completely as your teammates rushed to pull the scraping two apart, well, Toby was currently punching Paul and Paul was currently taking it while wailing for him to stop.

Toby had changed a lot recently, he seemed a lot quicker to react with anger then he use to be. Eyes holding something dark that scared you, you wanted to run and pull him off. You really did. But Toby barely looked human in that moment, blood covering his face as he continually wailed into Paul. Your team mates finally pulled them apart and when Paul stood you couldn’t deny the relief that flooded you as you quickly ran to Toby.

You ran through the corridors, your footsteps slamming against the ground and echoing off of the walls. Toby suddenly took over, dragging you instead. Surprise took over you and you tried your best not to trip as you both ran towards your home.

Luckily you didn’t live far away, having a small house your parents had left you. You both practically broke the door down and you paused to stare at the back of Toby’s head. “Yo-you could’ve killed him.” You choked out after a few minutes of silence.

“And so what?” He suddenly growled out, bloody face staring you down as his eyes bugged out. Rage was still burning through his veins, you could see his twitching worsen as his breathing got more laboured. He marched towards you backing you into a wall. His hands slamming either side of your head. “So wh-what, huh? Whu-what if i di-d-d-id!.” He slammed his palms against the wall as his stutter worsened. “What then?” His voice was normal, almost sounding hallow as he spoke. His dull brown eyes gazed into yours, you could see the unshed tears gathering in his lashes. You felt a warm heat flood inside of your chest, making a promise in that moment.

Your shaking hand came to rest on his cheek, causing him to flinch. Shock was written across Toby’s face. “I’ll always love you.” You took a second to clear your throat. “No matter what. No matter what wrong you do. I. Love. You.” You kept looking into his eyes, hoping with each word it’d work its way into his head.

Toby’s mind had went blank, his heart twisting almost painfully as he say the earnest look in your eyes. Shining, full of love for him. Toby pushed his lips against yours, tongue quick to push its way into your mouth. He gripped your ass tight and pulled you close together, grinding your hips together. His mood swings always threw you through a loop, this one happened to be the most unsettling. “You know who yo-you belong to r-r-ri-right.” He stuttered out, eyes glued to your face. You bit your lip. “I belong to Toby Rogers.”

That was all it took for him to yank your jeans down, scooping you up into his arms and press you against the wall as his tongue made its way down your throat. Moans poured out of you as he ground against you, your back scraping against the wall with the force. “Th-tha-ts right. Good boy.” He made quick work of his fly, his cock flopping out and hitting against you. All you could do was moan in excitement as Toby lined himself up, he found his way to your neck his breath tickling your skin. He licked his lips, tongue flicking against your skin and sending your body shivering.

“T-Toby.” You whined you, grinding down against his cock and moaning as he pressed against your hole. “Sti-still we-wett from this morn-morni-.” He cut himself off with a growl, slamming into you and relishing in your scream and the way your nails dug into his shoulders. Toby easily fucked you against the wall, almost acting as if you weighed nothing. You wondered whether it had to do with his disorder or not. Toby was quick to fuck any thought out of your brain, in love with the dumb mess you turned into when you had sex.

“Who ma-makes you feel thi-is good?” You kept eye contact as he used you like a flesh light. “F-fuck, Toby, only Toby. You!” You screamed out as toby railed into your prostate, eyes crossing as he fucked you stupid. Toby growled and bit into your shoulder, you let out a yelp. Pain flooded your neck and Toby pulled back to give you a bloody smile, the idea of being marked by Toby forever going straight to your heart and cock. “Do it! Ma-mark me up. Want every-on-one to know who i bel-belong to.” You moaned out, Toby’s thick cock wreaking you from the inside out.

You choked as your orgasm came quick, sending you screaming Toby’s name as you came on his cock. The tight heat of your ass was enough to make him cum, the feeling of you actually cuming on his cock is what sent him over the edge, desperately fucking into you. Part of him hoped he left a hole no one else could ever fill.

His knuckles went white as he clung to to you, deep breathing as he rode his high out inside of you. He fell into you, pushing you into the wall as you held him. Hand making its way into his fluffy brown hair, you tugged it lightly to get those beautiful brown eyes you loved so much to look at you. Everytime you looked into his eyes you felt breathless, despite the tired, cold, hardened look to them that had developed, they still made your knees weak. “I love you.” You whispered against his lips, slotting them together after he repeated his words to you.

[minsungchronology]

My Personal Opinions on Minsung's Dynamic (2022)

Disclaimer: I am not trying to pass off my opinions as facts. This is my personal interpretation of what is laid out right in front of us. I could be completely off base because I don’t know these guys personally, so take this with a grain of salt and feel free to disagree!

UHHH???

WHAT THE HELL IS IN THE AIR THIS YEAR??

I kept on saying that to myself as I kept collecting more and more clips to add to the video. They’re so sweet and gross and flirty, it’s adorable.

If you’ve watched the previous years, think for a second and compare their interactions from 2018-2021 to 2022. Whenever the two of them would be on screen at times I'd be like “Am I interrupting something??���.  At times you’d see them in the background and they’d be doing their own little thing. I can’t even describe it, but the way they look at and naturally gravitate towards each other is something else (there's an insane amount of this during the Maniac tour). They have so much fun with each other.

I think at this point, most of the self-consciousness has dwindled away. They are older, more experienced, and they are probably more than aware of what they can or can’t get away with on camera at this point.

I’ve also said before in my 2018 video that Lee Know was easy to read, but that kind of tapered off in subsequent years. However, I think “open-book” Lee Know makes a swift return this year. He has the worst poker face when it comes to Han lmfao. LK is as “cat” as a human can get, but he has such puppy/golden-retriever energy around Han.

There’s so many moments throughout this year where he’s like 😊 🥰. I can’t possibly talk about all of them. If I took a shot every time it happened, I wouldn’t be here to type this out. The man is so bad at hiding it. The SKZ Talker where Han sings with the flower in his hair and the way LK is caught staring at him as he sings along gets me in shambles.

Lee Know is also caught "slipping up". A moment that comes to mind is when he stuttered out “sexy” as Han was fighting the back pain demons on the concert floor. Yay intrusive thoughts.

Also, the SKZ talker episode with the MAMA awards. THE FACE LK makes for a split second when he finds out Han is rooming with Felix before he basically “interrogates” him about it during the “interview” they have.

Han is caught "slipping up" too. I've noticed he doesn't do it as much. He seems more careful and harder to read, while Lee "Your Body Moves First Before You Think" Know is more (carefree?) about things.

The “In Your eyes” POV video and the Studio Choom behind from Maxident era come to mind.

Then in one of their step-out videos (LK had the pink/light purple hair and they were announcing the world tour). Han places his hand on LK’s butt and starts doing…something to it (that’s between him and God). LK starts smiling for a bit before forcefully removing Han’s arm. Then Han literally bites his lip. IN A STEP OUT VIDEO??? They’re so shameless dskjhskdjfhk

Subtle moments like these are the most telling and eyebrow raising things in my opinion, cause you can’t really explain them away. And these are just a few of them. There’s a lot more this year, but I’d be writing this forever if I mentioned them all.

My personal opinion:

I think they became more than platonic this year, post-Oddinary era and pre-Maniac tour (the beginning of it at latest). If someone asked me to guess a specific time, it would probably be April to May-ish. There’s a noticeable shift in their behavior from then on if you watch everything sequentially.

As for their two-kids room. I have a lot of opinions on that.

They are soooo much more confident here than in their 2018 one.

Like…watch them back-to-back. They’ve come so far.

Imagine “Feelings” Lee Know from 2018 getting to see his 2022 self and 2022 Han interact.

This might be reaching, but I think the other members (and themselves) sometimes allude to these two having feelings that go beyond platonic without having to explicitly state it for obvious reasons. Like they are trying to skirt around that, but at the same time imply that “yes, these two are very special to each other”. The language and analogies they use throughout the 2KR episode really make me raise my eyebrows.

As I’ve learned more about Minsung’s dynamic/as well as making this video, I think these two have a lot of parallels to MeI B and Geri from the Spice GirIs. If you know, you know. I vaguely remember someone (who personally knew the group) implying almost the same type of thing about them years ago (something along the lines of them having a very "interesting"/special bond).

I’ve also found it interesting how they mention (multiple times!) although LK is the Hyung, Han is able to rein him back in. Whenever that happens, LK immediately just…becomes pliant?? Like???? What????

You can actually see some instances of that in previous years (the 2021 car Vlive where LK has the napkin on his face comes to mind. He immediately takes it off after Han tells him to), but it's more noticeable this year. (I.e: LK immediately wanting to let go of Changbin’s hand as soon as Han expresses his displeasure when before LK was perfectly okay doing it?? ????? Another actual eyebrow raising moment for me.) This is a guy who comes across as a more dominant type of personality so this really threw me off lmfaooo. This is one of the reasons why I find their dynamic so interesting, but I feel like it’s not talked about enough????

Plus, LK looking at Han like he grew two heads before Han has to specifically clarify that he sees him as an “older person” rather than an “older brother”. LK has absolutely no problem with other members (i.e: Felix) seeing him as an older brother figure (in fact he welcomes it), but God forbid Han does. Interesting. 😉

(accidental parallel to 2018 LK saying “where?” when 2018 Han says “you have one right here”)

And Seungmin saying “They’re both free spirited. They have to do what they want to do.” is kinda 💡 💡 💡. It kind of goes back to Han and LK in their 2019 2KR: them saying that they both don’t care about what others think. Thinking about that, their behavior this year doesn’t surprise me one bit and almost everything else in prior years leading up to it.

2023 is where things get more blatant. I feel like that’s the year where the two want to tell us that “Hey, you guys are right. There is something going on between us.” I feel like they are taking full advantage of the shipping culture that’s abundant in K pop and FS to a smaller degree to say as much as they can possibly say without compromising their careers. As someone who’s been into K pop since 2nd gen, I’ll explain why I think this in the 2023 video.

[luvly-writer]

"But oh..cara mia"

Ch. 13 F*ck Around and find out

——————————————-

Dick Grayson x Latina! Reader

Warnings: Fighting

Status: Ongoing

Author's note: I don't know how to write fight scenes TuT so I apologize. I saw a few videos of Batman, Wonder Woman, and Black Canary fighting (Ref. DC Animated AU) and just described what I saw. Hope it wasn't shitty. Anywaysss, you can tell I have a lot of free time and am using it as best as I can and updating. Idk how much it will last cause April will be one tough ass month so yeah, HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

Taglist: @lorosette @nanas-teatime @prettyacademia00 @mxtokko @sarahkaliii @w31rdg1rl @Eurydicegrimes @writing-for-the-hell-of-it

Series Masterlist:

——————————————-

Dick Grayson was damned the day he intellectualized his feelings for Yn. It had made his life nearly impossible and it was driving him insane. Seeing as he had been benched, his time spent around Yn increased even if she had asked for the opposite. Kory would go down to the cave but would stay quiet for the most part. Alfred would keep an eye on her making sure she wouldn't intervene with anything. For the most part, she would be found staring daggers at Yn, who in return would ignore her childishness. Dick had been in quite the predicament and the rest knew. They would see how his eyes followed Yn's figure everywhere and how Kory would storm off fuming. Everyone wondered why they hadn't broken up yet. They could hear the arguments coming from Dick's room every other night. Kory would always bring Yn to the topic but Dick would deny it. In his mind, he found it difficult to grasp how much he loved the girl. He feared that if he spoke word of it, all he had stood for ever since he was a child would crumble. In a world full of instability, his relationship with Yn was strangely comforting because it never changed. The cycle of joking to fighting to space then all over again was something he was used to. Now, that he sort of acknowledged his feelings internally (boy would rather be dead than say them out loud), memories resurfaced and his behavior in them was clearer. He didn't scare that boy that had asked for help for confessing to Yn away just to prove he had more admirers than her, he had done it cause he didn't want someone stealing her attention from him. The time he overly criticized one of Yn's first boyfriends wasn't because she had a horrible taste in men, it was because he wanted to be the one with her. Little by little, collections of his past came to bite him in the ass. All this time, I have been trying to search for you in other people and it took you finally telling me to leave for me to notice...it took you being in the same room as Kory and seeing the comparison of the woman he fell in love and the woman he wanted to fall for. Dick was a mess and a fucking idiot.

Your scent when you walked past him made him dizzy, your laugh whenever you talked with Babs was intoxicating, your slight touch whenever you changed his bandages left him almost begging for more, the soft sway of your hips, your eyes, your lips, God those lips he wanted to kiss and get lost in for all eternity, you just you, all of you. You were his weakness and he didn't want to accept it. Finally, he was off rest, the wound already healed. Yn had advised that he'd train on one of the simulations so that she could conduct one last check and he followed accordingly. The problem is that Kory followed as well, never wanting to leave Dick alone with Yn. The simulation began and all went swimmingly. Yn hummed and was about to leave before Kory spoke up, "Would I be able to partake in some training exercises as well? Maybe sparring?" Yn looked at her and shrugged, "Sure, knock yourself out. Although I have to change the simulation so that you get the best of the best." She looked down at her iPad ready to tap the new code when Kory interrupted her, "How about sparring?" She said and sent a wink his way. He noticed those didn't have an effect on him anymore but smiled anyways. "Well, Richard is in optimal condition so I guess" Yn answered and was about to leave when Kory called out to her. "Actually, I was thinking of you. Seeing as you do have your own powers, the match can be more equal" Dick let out a little "hey!" but looked between them, unsure of what could happen. Yn had been fed up by her constant shit and done being polite, "Alright, then. Suit up" you said coldly and walked away to get your suit.

Kory and Dick walked towards the cave, both in suits. There they found the rest gearing up for patrol. "I thought Starfire wasn't allowed in," said Damian as he placed his hands on his waist. "She isn't. She just wants to spar a little" said Yn walking towards them all suited up. Jason, who had half a protein bar in his mouth as he was loading his guns, choked and Duke patted his back. You walked towards the ring and turned to Kory, "I don't have all day." She flew towards you and you both stood in position. "3...2...1...GO!" and o it began

Kory and you circled each other, waiting for the other to begin. Kory got tired of waiting and threw a punch with her left, one that you swiftly avoided. She began attacking constantly and you stayed in defense. Left hook. missed. Right kick. miss. Jump left quick, not a chance. She began to taunt you whilst hitting, "Scared?" and you smirked at her just as she threw another left hook, you caught it, pulled it, and elbowed her stomach, leaving her out of breath for a second. She regained her composure rather quickly and began to fight harder. You were taunting her by not letting her hit you. "Stop avoiding and fight like an actual warrior DAMN IT," She said through clenched teeth. "Ok" you answer and quickly start to use the fact that she had used her initial strength against her. She goes to kick you but you slide under her raised leg, stand up and kick her in the back, successfully knocking her balance off. When she turns around, she is met by a mean right hook to the jaw. She stumbles back a little and looks positively enraged. She turns to hit you with her right but you catch it and hit her with your right knee. Star was livid. She had managed to hit your shoulder, making you stumble a little, and once she threw another punch, you used her momentum to grab her arm, jump up, place your thighs on her shoulders, and flip her, successfully throwing her on her back whilst you stood over her. You let out a soft whistle and smirk back at her as she gets up "One". Finally, Star had had it, she began to use her entire force and you did the same. Fed up with the fact she was losing, Star begins to throw more punches and kicks. Block the majority of them. She sends a kick your way and you grab her leg, kicking her other one, making her fall again. "Two," you say again and Star gets up, enraged. She started to punch again but you avoided it by doing two backflips in order to get away. Blinded by anger, Starfire raised her hands and shot one of her green light beams at you. Thankfully, quick as ever, you cross your forearms, using your Amazonian bracelets as a shield and you deflect them back to her, successfully throwing her back again. "Three" you finish and smile. Dick runs over to her, whilst Jason and Steph whoop at you in cheers. Damian has a smug smirk as he crosses his arms and nods, walking away to look for his swords.

Barbara comes up to you and claps your back, "You not doing yourself any favors if you ever wanted that girl to be cordial with you" and you laugh, "I don't care for pleasantries, I demand respect and she better remember that." Barbara laughs and follows you to the changing rooms. You come out, having changed out of your suit, and don't see Kory anywhere. That will teach her that if you fuck around, you most definitely find out.

After Yn and Babs left, Kory left for her room, embarrassed by what had happened. Dick was about follow her when Bruce arrived and told them that it was time for patrol. Once patrol was done, he had come back and wanted to talk with Kory, and see how she was but found her fast asleep. Tomorrow was going to be one long ass day and Dick just KNEW it was definitely going to bite him in the ass. Why you ask? Because tomorrow was the day of the gala. Dick took a shower and slid into his bed. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, "I'm fucked" he said before slipping into a dreamless slumber.

[skynapple]

My Xavier Playlist So Far

Youtube

Spotify

My songs and explanations under the cut! This is def more from Xavier's perspective, not really what I think his vibe is or what music I think he listens to.

Everything, Everywhere by Vaultboy

"Tell me why I'm stuck in a time loop while the pendulum swings on by

Tell me why I see you in everything, everywhere all the time"

Honestly enough said :(

When You Think of Me by JP Saxe

"Cause I swear I loved you fully

And I'm sorry not for stayin' who we thought I'd be

When you think of me

Am I just another man who leaves?"

Definitely from the perspective of thinking of the woman he left on the other side of the deepspace portal.

Iris, by Nightly

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

This is just a very intimate sounding cover. More emotional than the original, I think.

OK THIS ONE HEAR ME OUT:

Bernstein, by The Band Camino

"At another place in time, you were infinitely mine

Relatively alright when Berenstein was fine

At another place in time, only parallel to mine

The universe was alright when Berenstein was fine"

The concept of this song drives me absolutely INSANE and is one of my all-time favorite songs for this reason.

The concept is that maybe not in this lifetime, but somewhere out there in an alternate universe, in another dimension, there's a timeline where you'll never be apart, where you'll be together. Where things work out. Where in this lifetime maybe there's tragedy, but in another lifetime, you're mine. And if that isn't Xavier x MC I don't know what is.

The reason they say "Where berenstein is fine" is because of the whole theory of the mandala effect and if you don't know you should definitely look it up, it'll make much more sense! The mandala effect comes about because everyone seems to have a collective memory of something that never happened (in the songs case its the pronunciation of Berenstein/Bernstein), but people think it's result of a parallel universe? Anyway. It's tragic and beautiful and reminds me of MC having some vague recollections.

Superhero, by Lauv

"I met a superhero

I lost her

I want her back"

More tragedy in finding the person who was the one but never really being able to meet them again and while we know him and MC are reunited there's definitely been timelines where fate wasn't so kind.

Like No One Does, by Jake Scott

"The way that your hair falls in the morning when you first wake up

The way that I know all of the weird things in your coffee cup

I love the way I know that you're lying, the way that you're smiling

Darling, I love that I know you like no one does"

On a different note this one is very cute about a longterm relationship and possibly married life. He's happy to spend every intimate moment of his life with her!

Her Eyes the Stars, by LUCHS

This one is actually just an instrumental piano piece but it's very sweet, soft, and a bit sad, and I mean come on... the song title.

Last Man In The World, by The Band Camino

"I could find my way to you even if I had my eyes closed

When I'm with you, every time, I'm like "Where did all the time go?"

Come on we all have seen Xavier's cards. This one is purely about just wanting someone and yeah, "kiss me like I'm the last man in the world." And how when he's with her, everything else falls away.

Dancing in the Kitchen, by Zachary Knowles

"I wanna twirl you 'round the kitchen

Don't worry bout no dirty dishes

Not tryna do nothing ambitious, yeah

I just wanna dance with you"

Another cute song. Two things we know Xavier loves: being in the kitchen, and dancing with MC. This song is just good vibes and about enjoying being with the woman he loves.

Wake Me Up, by Mason Murphy and Parker Rudd

"Cause ever since the first time

You opened up my world I

Just can′t seem to close my eyes and sleep

I′m locked inside this day dream

Don't need any saving

But I need you to wake me up"

Because eepy boi! He's just an eepy guy!

Way After Forever, by Vaultboy

"I'm gonna love you way after forever

And if the Earth ends, I'll love you in Space

I'm gonna stay by your side through whatever

Through all the fights that I know I won't win

And every day that we're both getting older

I'll love you over and over and over

And over again"

Good God this song was written for Xavier x MC

It's so soft and sweet :( I do be crying about it.

[charcubed]

Listen. I'm going FUCKING. INSANE. because it seems like almost no one on the internet gives a shit about Shy Baldwin/Reggie Harris from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which boggles my mind because like ???? they're in love?????? and their relationship is so compelling??

And what we see of what becomes of Shy's story is so tragic obviously but to me it also hints at potential for him and Reggie to maybe someday get out of showbiz and be together. And from what I can tell, no one in fandom TALKED ABOUT THISSSS when season 4 came out!!! What the fuck!!!!! This is maddening!!!

So. I'm making this post mostly to get this off my chest and as a yell into the void. Because maybe somewhere, someday, someone else will ALSO be searching tumblr to see even a glimpse of content about these 2 exceedingly compelling characters, and I will write this so that I save that person the despair of coming up empty-handed like I am.

I'm also gonna drag other people down with me if anyone who hasn't seen this show happens to be curious enough to read this, so in that vein, I will cover some basics to outline this. Because I want to TALK ABOUT THEM despite most of this being obvious and no one giving a shit, Goddammit!!

(Spoilers or whatever I guess but who cares)

This is Shy Baldwin. He's a singer (clearly) and canonically a Black gay man who (obviously) has to hide his sexuality because this is set in the 60s.

This is Reggie Harris, Shy's manager and longtime best friend.

This is how Reggie introduces himself:

Let me tell you what kind of manager I am, Susie Myerson and Associates. I've been looking after Shy since we were kids tossing rocks in vacant lots. We was running numbers for Stephanie St. Clair before we were ten. When he found his singing, I collected the money, kept him out of trouble, kept people from bumping him. I'll be at his side when he draws his last breath unless I get there first. I would lay down my life for him. That's what's going on here. You hear me?

–3x02, "It's the Sixties, Man!"

In episode 3, they casually sing "Is You Is or Is You Ain’t My Baby" together just for fun.

INSANE harmonies. And their flirty banter in this whole 1 minute long scene makes me want to eat my own arm.

Anyway... hold those thoughts.

So, Midge Maisel (the titular character) is the opener for Shy on tour with her comedy act in season 3. The show reveals in episode 3x06 that Shy is gay, in a scene where Midge finds him bruised and bleeding because he hooked up with a guy and it went sideways. Shy comes out to her as part of his explanation, and she helps cover up the bruises on his face with makeup so he can get on stage that night.

That leads to him doing a sitting "stool set" with slower songs because his ribs are fucked so he can't stand/dance, and the unsubtle song the show has him sing is "No One Has To Know."

The clip isn't even on Youtube, which is indicative of how much I'm suffering with how under-appreciated Shy's storyline is, but you can listen to the song here or on Spotify.

No one else can tell I think you're beautiful No one else can tell You're my favorite view Let the world all think what they will I'll wait until they're through 'Cause no one has to know I need you No one but you

^^^ Literally the whole song is like this / about being gay but that's a piece of it.

Shy looks at Reggie as he sings.

Thankfully Tumblr user microclown made several GIFs. Here are two.

KILLL MEEEE

Clearly, obviously, this is deliberately not subtle. Everything telegraphs that Shy is in love with Reggie.

Now, considering wider context of Shy hooking up with a random man etc., one could be forgiven for thinking it's meant to be seen as unrequited love... but I really don't think that's the case. I think there's a delicious undercurrent of angst that ties into how Reggie tells Susie (Midge's manager) at various times throughout the season that their job is to make the hard decisions on behalf of their clients, and Reggie references making hard decisions on Shy's behalf or for Shy, because his job is to do what's best for Shy even at the times Shy doesn't like it. So... are they in love and Reggie tries to keep them from properly being Together to protect Shy? And/or does Shy think his love is unrequited at this point? Lots of room to play there.

So now comes the part that no one's talking about!

More explanation: season 3 ends with Midge being very straight and very white as she does a comedy routine in which she makes way too many cheeky references that out Shy as gay on stage if you know gay-related coding/lingo. There are Reasons why she sort of panics and does this, and the audience loves her jokes, but that is very much Not The Point. She's fired from the rest of the tour as a result–rightfully so.

In season 4, it's announced that Shy is suddenly getting married to his longtime girlfriend and it's totally a publicity stunt 🙃 Midge and Susie are invited to the wedding... but not by Shy; by the team of straight white dude management who stepped in to control Shy's every move in the name of "helping him to stay on the straight and narrow" to keep his career on the rails. Midge's fuck up gave them the opportunity they needed to control him. (Shy and Midge end up reuniting in a bathroom at the reception but we won't be unpacking that conversation and how I disagree with how Midge leaves things between them).

So the suits invite Midge and Susie to the wedding so they can escort them to a side room and have a meeting with them, and they try to pay them off to sign an NDA. (Midge declines for them both, saying she will keep her silence for the sake of Shy, not for the suits.) Come to find out that that management team also forced Shy to pay off / fire his entire band–who were shown to be like family to him throughout the tour in season 3–and also forced him to pay off / fire Reggie.

LOU: Look, he's a good guy, Reggie. I like him. But he's too close with Shy to control him. There's too much history.

...

SUSIE: Reggie got Shy to where he is now. You realize that?

LOU: Reggie's taken care of. Big severance. We threw him some publishing. He's buying a house in Westchester. Everybody's happy.

SUSIE: Oh, I bet. 'Cause when you think Reggie, you think Westchester.

–4x05, "How to Chew Quietly and Influence"

Here's the obvious thing: Shy and Reggie clearly had no choice in this matter.

There's no way in hell that Reggie would have left Shy willingly. Absolutely no Goddamn way in hell. Whether he's in love with him or not, Shy is "his boy" (his words, repeatedly) and he said "I'll be at his side when he draws his last breath unless I get there first." That was his character introduction! Holy shit!

But here's my hot take: I DO think Reggie is in love with Shy, and I do think he intends to keep that promise of being by his side as much as possible. And I'll tell you why.

At the wedding, Shy sings a short excerpt from his new single to his new wife:

Come close to me, baby Cool as the river When you're here in my arms Manhattan's getting dimmer I know it sparkles, too But city lights don't shine as bright as you

Once again the clip is not on Youtube and I am suffering.

There are a few more lines from the song in that episode referencing Paris and Rome (where Shy and Reggie and the band went on tour in season 3...), but it's a piece of a longer song. We thankfully have the song in full, here or on Spotify:

And in the episode, Shy says on stage that the song was written by Reggie.

"You just heard a little of my new single. And it's a special one because the lyrics were written by my boy Reggie Harris. Which is fitting because that man's been putting words in my mouth since we were kids begging his grandmom to buy us ice cream.

–4x05, "How to Chew Quietly and Influence"

This makes me FUCKING FERAL.

Especially because of the lyrics in the full version of the song... which, as it turns out, is all about giving up fame and the spotlight to be with the one you love.

There are hidden lyrics in the full track that are meant to actually be in between the shortened ones we hear in the episode. The lyrics from the full version that Shy doesn't sing at his wedding are as follows:

I’ve had the spotlight Been bewitched by wealth and fame But I’d give up that hot light Just to hear one special someone Call my name

...

I could search the world over Go as far as a man can roam But nothing I’d see Would mean nothing to me Like the vision of you when I’m coming back home Baby, you are my home

Buildings may rise And reach for the skies They twinkle and flash But they won’t ever last Like the beauty in your eyes

Whatever they may do Those city lights won’t shine as bright as you

Reggie wrote this song for Shy. He literally wrote this song for Shy. Shy says it himself! And Reggie's not in attendance at Shy's publicity stunt wedding because the suits are keeping them apart for now, but he's in Shy's heart, and Shy chooses to sing this song and share that backstory about the lyrics because they're each others' home in secret.

I can't handle it! I can't FUCKING handle it!!!!!

Like are you SERIOUS!!!! And in the episode where the suits say Reggie took his severance pay and went and bought a fancy house? BITCH. If he even actually did that (and didn't just claim he was doing it to fly under the radar), then he bought a house so Shy could one day join him there because ???? "You are my home." Ohhhh myyyy Goddddd ;___; A song about giving up the spotlight to be with the one you love........ I have connected the dots. Just wow.

So yeah I'm literally going insane. I LOVE them. I've been thinking about this for like 2 weeks and no one gives a shit but I love them! They are important to me and every part of their subplot is so compelling and makes me so emotional!

There is fic about all this that's in my brain and outlined in my google docs and if I ever write it I will post it on AO3 for the maybe 2 people who will care someday. But yeah.

WHERE is their spinoff!!!!!!!! Jk I don't want it because I don't trust they'd be handled properly. However, I am manifesting even a crumb of information about them in season 5 because Shy Baldwin is my son and I would like any kind of hint he and Reggie manage to eventually orchestrate their happiness <3

If you actually read this post, thank you so much for indulging me. I had to get this off my chest, okay, I'm losing it.

I love them and they're in love. That is all.

[burninbriight]

higuchi headcanons! any you want, really, but maybe focusing on what she is like when not with the mafia?

RAHHH I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK ME ABOUT HIGUCHI I AM INSANE ABOUT HIGUCHI and especially i love to think about the mundane aspects of her life outside of the port mafia

so here we go with the hcs!

while she wears contacts at work, she prefers glasses when at home/during days off

she has a pair of those rectangular-ish black rimmed glasses that kind of make her look like a professor

we know that she lives with her sister, right? i like to think that her sis knows about her job and how exhausting it is, so she tries her best to keep the house clean and make all the meals so higuchi can rest as much as she can :(

also because higuchi fucking loathes cooking

not only because she finds it boring but also because she has set way too many things on fire in the kitchen

higuchi is a good dancer! but she gets flustered when dancing in front of other people so you can see her talent really shine through only if you catch her dancing around with earbuds thinking she's alone

she does this thing where she compulsively buys hats she knows she will never wear just because she really likes collecting hats

plays league of legends with her sister or with gin and tachihara. she's surprisingly good at it

she def cries over romcoms

like you can catch her bawling her eyes out while watching modern family (same)

she has an emergency hair tie in her nightstand because all the hairbands in her house either go missing during work or bc of her sister

higuchi has personal beef with the pigeons that always come to nest on her balcony but she'd feel too guilty if she got rid of their nest

she somehow managed to become a dear and intimate friend of her hairstylist. she calls her her favorite bottle blonde

higuchi has the habit to zone out and look down when she's walking. that causes her to trip or walk into things/people pretty often

she def picks at scabs or at her scalp as a nervous habit

likes chamomille and warm drinks in general

she takes melatonin to sleep and in general has a hard time falling asleep

but once she does not even bombs will wake her. she's a HEAVYY sleeper

she has a koala plushie to hug when she sleeps or when she just wants comfort

her sister has a matching red panda one

higuchi cuts her own fringe sometimes just because

also she used to have an undercut i don't make the rules.

she misses it sometimes

lowkey wants a pet but she knows she wouldn't have enough time to look after it

higuchi has bad separation anxiety. trust me i know her personally

she prefers sweet foods over salty/sour ones

she's friends with tsujimura. they met at a diner near higuchi's house. none of them know about each other's job

she writes down important dates on the calendar, but forgets to check said calendar

i have more but my memory is failing me rn, ty for the ask!!!🍪

[4200nemobackup]

yandere!members cheating on partner and partner wanting to leave them/ cheating on them with another member??

Coming right up babes!!

Taglist: @mwitsmejk @lchimmyl @zoroscrustyboogers0

____________________________________________

Ask above: “yandere!members cheating on partner and partner wanting to leave them/ cheating on them with another member??”

Pairing: Yandere!bts x reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, stalking, aggression, physical activity, mentions of bodily harm, I am in no way romanticizing these scenarios. If you or someone you know is going through these, please call/ alert the proper authorities.

A/n: happy to write this. It’s Safe to say that whoever sent me that ask has motivated me! But anyways, this won’t be sub or dom leaning, just yandere members and how they react. This only fiction guys!

____________________________________________

Yandere Jin: I personally believe that Yandere Jin is not as frightening as the others on the list. When his partner finds out that he has been cheating, the most he will do is probably put on a very broken persona in order to get his partner to feel bad for him instead. Yandere trope is often categorized as using a fake, caring, sympathetic, or emotional personality, to hide their insanity. I feel like Jin would hone this part of the trope, breaking down crying when you find out, and him convincing you somehow that you’re the problem. After you take him back, he would pretend as if nothing happened, and if you bring it up, he’ll go psycho, asking you stuff like “when did I ever cheat?” It scares his partner bad, and he knows this.

Finding out that your cheating is a different story. Yanderes always want their partners to themselves, so Jins version of this is taking his partner back and projecting his fake and caring persona onto his partner in a very torturous way. His dialogue consists of “you wouldn’t ever cheat on me right? Because you’re such a good gf/bf/partner?” I also feel like if it’s one of the members, he would use his hyung card, and privately threaten them without you knowing. Threatening to make their life a living hell, and that if they even enter your presence consider themselves a target.

Yandere Yoongi: I feel like Yoongi would have his moments where he gets extremely dark and morbid. His yandere trope would be the seriously stoic type. When you find him cheating, he doesn’t even bother to argue against you, or attempt to gaslight you. Because he still wants you around, he will actually threaten you that if you ever left him, there would be consequences. He would do the same thing Jin did, sort of convincing you that you were somehow the problem.

If he finds out you’re cheating……well. Once he catches you, he would roughly grab your wrist and tell you to get dressed, and that you would be dealt with later. He’ll make you stand outside the door so you can hear him beating up whoever it was you cheated on him with, traumatizing you. Rather than say a whole paragraph of things, he would just tell you something like, “see what you’ve caused?” In an attempt to make you think that no matter who you run too, everything always comes back to him.

Yandere Hoseok: Hobi would be a mix of Jin and Yoongi. His Yandere trope would be aggressive, disguised as calm and collected. You literally would never suspect him for anything because of this demeanor. However when you catch him and begin yelling, you can see a brain switch off in his head. He beats you in a shouting match, startling yourself. You imagined he was in the wrong, but the way he yelled at you made you feel as if you may have came onto him wrong. But as you’re leaving, he stops you and begins a series of emotional displays. These confuse you because one minute he’s yelling, the other one he’s happy, and the next, he’s sobbing at your feet. This becomes a sensory overload for you, so you just stay, not realizing you’ve fallen into his trap.

Catching you cheating is scary. When he sees you and another member turning away from each other as he opens the door, he plays along for a long period of time until you are both comfortable. He knows what you both have been doing behind his back, but he won’t act on it now. The sadist in him comes out when he starts asking you and the member to do weird things, and when you protest, he yells very loudly about your affair, telling you it’s the least you could do for him. Afterwards, he never brings you around the members and you aren’t allowed to go outside of the house anymore. He’s suspicious of you on another level, but he acts like nothing happened.



Yandere Namjoon: he uses his intelligence against you for sure. Namjoon is the yandere trope that plans out each of his moves correctly. There’s actually no way you would catch him cheating unless he wanted you to. I imagine him as the invisible man’s character from the adapted movie. Everything you go through, is something he orchestrated. If you do catch him, it’s because he wanted you to, and be prepared, there’s several steps ahead that will lead you back to him,even if your objective is to leave.

However, him catching you cheating is the opposite. He will continue to orchestrate events in your life and set you up over and over again, until you’ve burnt all your bridges. It will lead you back to him. As you’re crying in his arms,he’s just standing there smirking because he’s the reason why your tears are falling. You have no where to go, and that excites him because you’re his whether you can help it or not.

Yandere Jimin: I would identify him as the sub!yandere trope: also a stalker. He will pretend to keep a distance, but you know the crazy in his eyes. I would say that he would probably severely threaten anyone that you develop connections with because he is afraid they will take your attention from him. Catching him cheating is a wild ride. It messes with you because he pretends to be devoted to only you. When you catch him, he would immediately guilt you by resulting to some kind of bodily harm upon himself, like hitting himself. You’ll beg him to stop, and just like that, you’re his again.

However it’s easy for him to catch you cheating because he regularly stalks you and keeps tabs on you. It frightens you because he knows every.single.detail. You come home and he’s sitting on the couch, and in the most ominous voice ever he asks, “Master why were you with________?” It startles you and when you try to make an excuse, he starting wailing about how he thought he was enough for you. It makes you feel beyond terrible, but now you’re bound to him. Even if you suggest to see other people, he threatens his own safety over the matter.

Yandere Taehyung: Taehyung is a stalker Yandere as well, but he is very obsessive in the fact that you’ll find him all over the house, trying to scare you or seduce you. When you catch him cheating, and try to kick him out, he also starts to wail, and scream. He hopes that you’ll take him back because of this. He’s begging and pleading, but it’s crazy to see him do such a thing so whole heartedly. He stalks your conversations for the next few weeks to make sure you haven’t told anyone about what he did.

When he catches you cheating he always pops up in random places. He is always watching, so when you’re making out with another member in a random room, he’s in the broom closet watching you. You go to open it or whatever and boom, he’s literally right there like jeepers creepers. His display of emotions are rather psychotic. You don’t know if he’s angry with you or not. He confuses you and the other member successfully. You begin to feel watched because of how he keeps popping up everywhere, no matter what you do or where you go.

Yandere Jungkook: Yandere Jungkook is just straight up possessive. He won’t even pretend in front of people that he isn’t. He would go the mile to harm someone over something small concerning you. When you catch him cheating, he will tell you to mind your own business. He also tells you that it wasn’t cheating, and that whatever you saw was not equal to what you think you saw. When you try to leave, he will grab you and fling you somewhere telling you that you aren’t allowed to because you’re his. Where could you go? No one will take you, he says.

If he catches you cheating, pray. Pray for yourself. He’s already hurt about you doing with another member. The other member suffers a more gruesome fate, but his only solution for you is to restrain you from ever interacting with anyone else. He’s worse than Hobi. Hobi may let you out with him supervising you. But Jungkook won’t even let you come downstairs unless he says so. He has a routine and set of rules for you to follow because of this. He also takes your phone, and disables communication devices within the house, just so that you won’t be able to call people. All of your calls and texts go through him and his monitoring.

[anonbinaryweirdo]

HI !! i feel like we shld get to know each other more outside of what weve already told each other sooo-

im filipino !! sometimes i use taglish (tagalog + english) when speaking <3 m a lot more fluent in english tho ;; i loveee all shades of blue, specifically periwinkle (its so pretty……..), n i also love pokemon, kny, n mha :3 (rlly hate their fanbases tho. i have. words. about them.) i have several phobias, some of them pretty weird to have as a 16y/o 😭 its uh,,, stairs, dolls, tight spaces, tiny holes, clowns, darkness n the smallest problems cause me a lot of distress… (yesterday i couldnt use spotify abroad for more than 2weeks n i was panicking for like 15 minutes until i was able to change my location 😭) i watch a lot of matpat (namely film theory n game theory), n coryxkenshin !! a few poketubers here n there (mandjtv, patterrz n pm7) but these two r who i watch mainly <3

omg

i only know English BUT I'm learning German :D (I haven't seen Duolingo in months but i can pick up on things fast)

my attention span and memory is... phew. I also tend to have a short fuse but I'm very patient and I can control myself I promise pls don't run away from me. also my first instinct when someone does something to upset my friend is to get physical (and if it's through screen I can argue for hours. one of my teachers+ bestie said I could run for something (governor, president, etc.. I forgor)

green. i love greens I love them all sm. I like earthy colors but green <333

i curse... a lot :D

i also watch a lot of matpat !! I'm also an 8bitryan (my comfort YouTuber fr) and Kubz Scouts enthusiast 🫶🏽

i also like kny and mha !! Nezuko n Kaminari my loves <3 (t.. the fanbases.......//neg)

I'm typically calm in situations most of the time, save for when I'm not going feral and committing arson on this very blog

I'm not scared of much? probably adults that are over 25 but other than that nothing IMMEDIATELY comes to minspiders.

I use endearments a lot !! despite being the (so far as I know) second youngest of all my mutuals I call (as long as I know they're comfortable with it) a lot of them "baby," chances are I'll use platonic endearments on you too out of habit so lmk if this makes you uncomfortable <3

i love kids 🫶🏽 I helped raise a few and I was/am a babysitter,, love them just as much as I love dogs

i like. i like to ramble and rant (as you're seeing rn). don't let me find out we have a similar interest AND you allow rambling I'll go crazy real fast. speaking of I hyperfixations I fixate on a lot of things at the same time sosjksj(rihh now its mainlty Hamilton and Genshin)

i can't remember much (like. birthdays, names, dates, or anything you might have told me two seconds ago. i probably zoned out or it just flew past my head) but I do (try to) remember small details about people :D

I am. not on any medication for adhd so I go insane on here. a lot. my thoughts are js.. if I think it I say it and THEN think about what I've said AFTER I say it and bang my head against the table in shame

i like collecting leaves

i also like women but I mean I guess men are attractive too

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Witches, Chapter 33: Trial, Day One.

The first trial day of Cosmic Turnabout in fact takes place on December 16th. We'll pretend that's the reason I'm pushing this chapter out now. We'll pretend that I haven't had this chapter ready for a while but been unable to proofread it because my brain is made of wet scrambled eggs and apparently only works underneath the shame of it having been a year since I last updated.

Thank you all so much for bearing with me and I am afraid this will be happening again, as I have less than one single page written for the next chapter. I wanted to make some headway on that before I posted this one, but, well! That didn't happen!

[Seelie of Kurain Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

[Witches of Los Angeles Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

----

Enough snow has fallen to lightly coat the roof of the courthouse. On Apollo’s approach, a familiar bird launches itself from the edge, dislodging a cloud of powdery snow that scatters across the stairs above him. It clutches a collection of papers in its talons and delivers them right into Apollo’s hands when he reaches up for them. They are cold as everything else is, and wet from resting in the snow. He knows exactly what they are but forces himself not to look until he has made it into the lobby and can sink into a couch rather than rely on his trembling legs to support him.

An autopsy report, like any other autopsy report he has ever seen, but this is Clay Terran’s autopsy report. His best friend’s name at the top left in tiny black type, and maybe this is where it sets in, or maybe this is where Apollo invents a new kind of denial to be studied by psychologists for decades to come. He managed to trap his childhood behind those kind of walls for many years. He—

—can’t do it for something this plainly in front of him. The report contains a photo of Clay at the scene. Still in his orange space suit like he was ever going to make it into the rocket, into orbit, but there is the knife sticking out of his chest, and the blood soaking through the fabric. Cause of death: fatal stab wound. 

He might be down one eye by his own choice, but that still can’t save him from seeing what lies in front of him in this moment. He turns the report facedown and sets it on the couch next to him. Clay is dead, stabbed through the chest. Athena is hiding something, and her secret is regarding that knife, the murder weapon. Apollo spoke with a dead woman about his case and found no leads. His head hurts. He forgot to eat while he was at his apartment. He left with his hair still wet from his shower and it has begun to freeze on the walk over. His best friend is dead. 

Athena’s eyes lit up red. She’s lying. She’s hiding something. Apollo sits in the lobby and waits for her to arrive to assist him with this case. What else can he do?

-

The next person to arrive is not Athena, but Juniper Woods. Athena must have told her what happened yesterday. He wonders - distantly, as though it were a thought that occurred to someone else and was then told to him - who else might know. Who else might have heard through the grapevine: Athena, Trucy, perhaps even Phoenix, could have told any number of people. And then he will have to go through this again, and again, the condolences, the looks that they give him - he doesn’t want pity. He wants the truth.

He can’t say that. Juniper is Athena’s best friend. He can’t say to her, “Hey, my best friend is dead and I wonder if yours might be involved in his death, somehow.” That’s insane, even if Apollo is too.

So he greets Juniper politely instead. She knew Athena when they were children; she might somehow know some secret of Athena’s that would explain everything, that could somehow shed light on on this strange happenstance. Apollo does not ask. He accepts the lotus root she offers him - she says it’s for good luck (which he could really use), and is good for the eyes (which he doesn’t need, his eyes are good and that’s the problem, Juniper doesn’t know that, Juniper knows what she’s been told by Athena and Athena can’t know that), and that her grandmother told her that looking through the holes in the root can let one peer into the future (which he doesn’t want). He thanks her. 

(He thinks of peering through the hole in Phoenix’s magatama and the truth made visible that way. He’s terrified of what truths can be made visible and he needs to know and he doesn’t want to know.)

But he didn’t eat breakfast and he has no recollection of whether or not he ever ate any of the dinner that Trucy pushed on him, so he has already begun gnawing on the root when Juniper tells him that it shouldn’t be eaten raw. Looking like an idiot is, all in all, not high on his list of current concerns, but, well - there it is, he’s looked like an idiot, and maybe he’ll remember this happened later, if someday he can’t figure out why Juniper is giving him a funny look.

Or maybe the murder trial for his best friend’s killer will uncover some horrible truth about her best friend, and they’ll never speak again.

All that at stake and yet he just sits here and waits.

-

Perhaps it’s Apollo’s mind running away with him. It wouldn't be the first time in the past twenty-four hours that it’s taken him down strange roads. But something seems off about Prosecutor Blackquill, too. More aggressive than he usually is, which Apollo wouldn't have thought possible - quicker on the draw, quicker to shut down any line of argument that disagrees with his conclusion. Like he wants Starbuck convicted as quickly as possible. As if naming him guilty will neatly tie off this matter and he’ll never have to think about it again. Apollo wishes he wouldn’t have to think about any of this ever again. 

But here they are and Clay is dead and Starbuck’s life is still on the line, so Apollo has to think this through. Wring every scrap of information he can out of the prosecution, of the witnesses, just like any other trial, this is any other trial. Like Mia said. His job hasn’t changed. This is as he always does.

And Blackquill, like he always does, looks at the defense, and the defendant, and he laughs.

-

Athena stands to Apollo’s left. He covered up his right eye but she still stands where he can see her. Of course she does; it’s where she’s always stood. She can’t know - but she’s hiding something. She has to know that she’s hiding something, and that it’s important, and she knows that this case is important to Apollo - and yet - and still—

He doesn’t see any flashes of red and maybe that’s because he’s stopped himself or maybe it’s the way that Prosecutor Blackquill acts as a signal jammer for magic. Does it matter? It doesn’t matter. Not until he has to step out of this room and talk with Athena about the case if they can stop Starbuck from being convicted today. 

They have to stop Starbuck from being convicted today.

-

Like many clients Apollo has had, Solomon Starbuck will probably be fined for perjury at a later date. Blackquill told them to go ahead and let the defendant testify, and he grinned as he handed them the rope to hang themselves and their case. But they didn’t have the chance to speak with Starbuck at the detention center about what happened, and they don’t have the information that they need. Blackquill told them to play the game exactly the way he had planned for them to, and so they do as the prosecution wants.

And Starbuck spins two testimonies out of whole cloth before Blackquill forces him to admit that he doesn’t remember. All those prescription drug side-effect warnings about not operating heavy machinery after taking, and Starbuck took his medications and walked towards a rocket launch and came out of it remembering nothing, including but not limited to actually taking the medication. He claims someone must have slipped them to him, drugging him with something he was actually permitted to take.

Apollo sets that thought aside. To come back to it when Blackquill isn’t pushing him on a different matter.

-

The damaged security camera footage shows the two astronauts escaping from the rocket launch pad, where one explosion occurred, into the lounge where Clay’s body was found. One of the astronauts was carrying the other. This was presumed to be Starbuck carrying Clay’s body.

This was Clay helping Starbuck out of the boarding area. Clay was alive until then, after all. Starbuck’s testimony is useless but arguing with Blackquill about what he makes of it gives Apollo a lifeline to follow. Who was first to arrive on the scene? If Starbuck didn’t kill Clay, then perhaps one of the newcomers did - or lied, or was confused. There were two people who found Starbuck and Clay - the director himself, and a detective.

No obvious motive. But nothing is ever obvious in a murder trial. Apollo knows what his job is. Keep digging. Find the truth. Cry when it’s over.

-

There is a man who has run up to the witness stand to yell that the disarmed bomb from the Space Center, evidence for this trial, has been rearmed and is about to explode. This is like the time Trucy faked her kidnapping at the hands of the mob, except not at all, and Apollo feels none of the panic and terror and concern that he did then. He knows he should but it has not even been twenty-four hours since he got that phone call from Starbuck and since then time has slowed down and sped up and twisted all around. 

People are already running and screaming and Prosecutor Blackquill stands across the courtroom, calmer than anyone else. The fae can still die, if that’s what Blackquill is. He’s an inmate on death row. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe he thinks this is a trick, like Trucy’s. Maybe he just knows that people are prone to panic and that helps nothing. He studied psychology just so he could know how better to break people apart, after all.

The world is again moving very fast and very slow all at once. But they can’t let evidence for the trial be destroyed here. They can’t let it end like this. Isn’t the truth worth dying for?

“You’re an idiot!” Athena snaps at him. Apollo didn’t realize he said any of that out loud. “We are not going to get blown up today! Or any day! Come on!” She shoves him out from behind the bench and he staggers, and she grabs his arm and tries to drag him and only makes him stumble across his own feet trying to keep up with her.

The doors seem both very close and very far. And while Apollo’s heart has no concern for what happens to him here, his body falls victim to inertia and keeps moving. Away from the case, away from the evidence - the bomb that was supposed to be evidence and now is creating a crime scene. What is the point of all of this? What is the point of any of this? Of anything at all? Clay is dead and their case is about to literally go up in smoke—

Athena loses her grip on Apollo’s hand when they both try to fit through the doorway at the same time as three other people. Apollo is jostled against the wall, snapping him out of the momentary stupor, and he hears someone behind him yell his name, yell for Athena, and he turns back. Juniper, pale green and wide-eyed, wobbling like a newborn deer, and she had no reason to be here today but concern for others, and there’s a fucking bomb and Apollo get all the way out of here or he can go to her and he’s not letting someone else’s best friend die—

He extends a hand to help steady her and she takes it and yelps and withdraws her hand because of course, he’s wearing fucking iron, and she’s half fae, and he’s seen her touch it before but she’s also said her health changes by the day, and she loses her balance entirely and tumbles to the floor. Apollo bends to help her - and imagines shrapnel coming for his head, the bomb going off and the roof collapsing in chunks on top of Juniper while he stands right there—

He drops to the ground instead, and the impact of hitting the tile floor elbows-first reverberates up through his teeth for the single moment before his eardrums rupture and the only sound he hears is ringing. Juniper curls into a ball and throws her hands around her head and Apollo pulls his arms up over his own head and waits.

A heavy impact between his shoulder blades, sharp pain that makes his vision go momentarily dark. Another strike, something clipping against his shoulder and falling away. The cold breeze must mean that the roof has caved in significantly but he doesn’t want to expose his head to check. His vision blurs again as something else hits him on the hands on his head and the ringing in his ears continues unabated and the two coherent thoughts he can form through the pain are they’re going to have to note down so many bruises on my autopsy report and I guess there are worse ways to die than trying to save someone else. 

-

The furious ringing continues to echo through Apollo’s head. He can make out several voices yelling over it but not the words being said by them. His back feels like it’s on fire. He had curled up to protect his head but he is staring at the sky now. It is still snowing. 

-

Someone split Apollo’s skull open and is making it vibrate the way it’s a fun party trick to make a wine glass sing. He’s a gong still shuddering long after the initial bong. 

(He argued with Trucy once about whether attending one single rock concert was liable to give them tinnitus.)

He can still hear at all. That’s a good thing.. Voices, quiet and nearby, their individual words distinguishable, a welcome sound. 

(It was not the one single rock concert’s fault if he has tinnitus now.)

“So assuming he’s not lying—”

“That’s not usually how I approach a trial—”

“But this is a thought experiment and you’re my assistant in it! So assuming he’s not lying, then - what? Then someone else drugged him, but why? And why just him - why not both astronauts?”

“From his reluctance to admit to taking medication, even under oath, I imagine that at most, only a few other people were aware. And then I would imagine that he kept those pills quite hidden, so for someone to have been able to find them and use them - either they were wildly unprepared for what they intended, and desperately tore the building apart looking for any usable substance. Or, quite a bit more likely, it was an inside job.”

“Ask Mr Starbuck who knew about his meds, then.”

Apollo isn’t lying on the floor anymore. It’s softer but there’s still something heavy pressing down on his legs. People wouldn’t be so casually discussing the case if they were right next to someone still partially trapped beneath rubble. Maybe he’s a ghost. Can ghosts have tinnitus? That would be a question for Mia but it’s also a stupid fucking question in the first place. 

He opens his eyes. He can see through both of them. Someone must have checked him over, removed the bandage when they found nothing wrong with his eye. The weight pinning his legs is a large dog who, made of smoke and mist and spite and faery magic as she is, should not weigh anywhere near as much as she feels like she does. 

“Vongole, get off,” he says, or tries to, but his tongue feels fuzzy and his head feels fuzzy except for the parts that feel like a metal pot lid dropped on the floor clattering and rattling around, and he makes a fuzzy sort of sound instead. The voices, familiar but still not identifiable to Apollo’s addled brain, came from somewhere to his left but have gone quiet now. He turns his head. It aches. 

Trucy stares at him. She sits tucked in a small uncomfortable armchair, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms folded over them. And behind her, precariously balanced on the back of the chair, shoulders against the wall, his feet sharing the seat with Trucy, is Klavier. He snaps his fingers and Vongole springs up like a swift gust of wind, settling into a languid puddle on the floor, halfway beneath the bed.

The bed Apollo is in - the bed, the chair, white walls and - hospital. He’s in a hospital. The courtroom exploded and he’s in a hospital. That makes sense. The facts of this case are becoming clear. A bomb went off and the ceiling fell on him when he was trying to help—

“Juniper,” he says, and his mouth makes the sound of words more easily now. “Is Juniper okay?”

“She and Athena are fine,” Trucy says, and yes, Athena was there, but she was ahead of them, she should have gotten out, and she’s also - Athena who looked at the knife and her eyes blinked red. He doesn’t want her to die. He doesn’t want her to lie. “A little scraped up but there’s paramedics - they’re still down at the courthouse. The police are keeping everyone there while they investigate - everyone who was better off than you, anyway.”

“But you…” It’s been a hard morning. A hard twenty-four hours. He was the first one to arrive at the courthouse, and then Juniper was there, and Athena and Trucy showed up together and Trucy gave him a hug and said she’d be watching. If Juniper is still there and she was in the gallery, then Trucy who was also in the gallery should also be there. “Shouldn’t you be… how’d you get here?”

Klavier’s eyes finally move from Apollo to level a silent, disapproving glare on Trucy. She glances at him, rolls her eyes, and turns her attention immediately back to Apollo. “A little bit of misdirection, carefully applied,” she says. “You know how it is.”

He might not have Athena’s ears (he can’t stop thinking of Athena’s eyes) but he hears the strain in Trucy’s voice as she feigns levity.

“One of these days, Fräulein, someone’s going to find it quite suspicious that you’re sneaking away from a crime scene,” says Klavier, sounding just as stretched and strained as Trucy. 

“Yeah,” Trucy huffs, unusually bitter. “But it won’t be at the courthouse. They haven’t gotten any better at catching me since…”

Two sets of blue eyes lock back on Apollo. That line of thought leads nowhere good. “Daddy was here earlier,” Trucy adds. “He went down to the courthouse once the nurses said you’d be okay. I - oh! I’m supposed to tell him that you woke up!” She fumbles for her phone and it slips from her hands and clatters to the floor. She stares at it for several long seconds before she unfolds herself to retrieve it.

So: the bomb that was evidence blew up the courtroom. Apollo is in the hospital now. Juniper is okay. And the case - what’s going to happen with the case? He opens his mouth to ask and realizes that he is talking to two people with no way of knowing that, and he circles back to the conversation he heard before he fully awoke. Already it is half-remembered fuzz, like a dream - a regular dream, not a fae one. “You guys were talking about the case,” he says. “What - what are you thinking?”

They glance at each other. “Well,” Trucy says, “if our client is telling the truth that he didn’t take his medication, then someone slipped them to him. And if they knew about those meds, then it was probably someone close to him, right? So probably an inside job, not an outside saboteur.”

Clay has worked at the space center for years - Apollo has heard dozens, hundreds even, of stories about his time there, his coworkers there. For him and Starbuck to have been betrayed by one of them–

“The part I don’t follow from that is then why drug only one of the astronauts,” Trucy continues. “You would have seen in the autopsy report if he was drugged too. So why only incapacitate one of them - especially when there should have been concern about the confrontation with the other.”

Confrontation: Clay stabbed and killed, but Starbuck who was drugged was left alive. If they’d both been drugged, then - what? They never get off the rocket, dying in the explosion instead? Or they never make it onto the rocket in the first place and escape the explosion entirely? Would Clay have lived or would they both have died? 

Klavier’s frown deepens. Trucy taps out another message on her phone and then glances up at him. “You’re thinking something,” she says to Klavier. “So, assistant, what’s your theory?”

The chirp back in her voice doesn’t match her eyes. Klavier’s expression only darkens further. “Nothing you want to hear,” he says.

Trucy’s eyes turn towards Apollo. Klavier is studying the wall. Apollo's head is still ringing. Trucy notices things like he can, but what could Athena have said that made Trucy notice - what could Trucy have said to Klavier to make him think - what are they thinking? Apollo doesn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to see it but he did. His heart sits in his throat. It doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense. “What is it?” he croaks. 

“You won’t,” Klavier says, “but you could probably argue a successful case for self-defense.”

For - what? Self-defense? What would Athena–?

They’re not talking about Athena, are they?

Of course they’re not talking about Athena. They’re talking about the known facts of the case from court, and if Apollo were arguing self-defense for that case, he would be arguing that Starbuck was defending himself from–

“That would - be an inside job, and explain why Starbuck was drugged but not - not - the victim, but–” Trucy stumbles over her words. The victim. She knew Clay. She met him. They went hiking in the woods together with Apollo and Ema to dig up a Gramarye treasure. Clay wouldn’t fuck around with fae things on his own but Apollo was going whether Clay wanted him to or not and Clay was a loyal enough friend that he wasn’t going to let Apollo go without him–

“You’re crazy,” Apollo croaks. “You’re out of your mind if you think that Clay - this is all he’s ever wanted! To go to space, to - he wouldn’t sabotage it! And he only ever got here because of Starbuck’s faith in him - he wouldn’t do anything to - he wouldn’t!”

“Like I said,” Klavier says tersely, “it isn’t something you would go for.”

Isn’t something you would go for, like it’s any kind of strategy at all to accuse his best friend of heinous crimes, of having been responsible for his own death because if it was self-defense on Starbuck’s part then Clay would have provoked it and it would be Clay’s fault that Clay is dead–

“I wouldn’t go for it because it’s not true! I know Clay, and I know he would never–”

They both keep giving him this look, Trucy and Klavier, and then to each other - like it’s pity, like he’s stupid, like he’s forgotten the way the world works. Of course he hasn’t. He’s seen Athena’s eyes, but they keep thinking about something else, something that could never be true because Apollo knows Clay better than he’s ever known anyone–

“Just because - because you’veboth had everyone betray your trust doesn’t mean that–”

“Apollo!” Trucy snaps, and he knows he’s stepped too far now with Trucy glaring at him and the way Klavier’s face changes - the way in an instant he goes weary and sallow to perfectly composed, an airbrushed model of a man as his glamoured mask slips back into place. And Apollo - Clay wouldn’t, he wouldn’t, Apollo believes that with everything he has. But he still hasn’t found Athena’s place in this puzzle and she might have betrayed him the way Kristoph and Daryan both put knives in Klavier’s back, the way Zak and Valant both left Trucy behind and Magnifi put her mother’s soul in a box—

A nurse enters without so much as a glance towards Trucy and Klavier. Like they aren’t even there, because they might as well not be. Apollo could blink and have them disappear, and he’d deserve it for not sticking his foot in his mouth fast enough. Trucy yells at him all the time but never seriously like that, and Klavier is glamorously inscrutable, the way he always used to be. Clay is gone and Apollo will make everyone else go away.

-

When Apollo is returned to his room after a few brain scans that confirm he’s not dying, Trucy remains in the chair, feeding Vongole pieces of a vending machine granola bar, but Klavier is gone.

“It’s been really busy at the Prosecutors Office before this happened,” Trucy says around a bite of oats. “He said he’s sorry he had to run off, but he doesn’t want to be in more trouble with Herr Chief.”

Apollo can hear him saying exactly that. He can see that Trucy isn’t lying. (He can see those things again. He needs to make a new eyepatch before he sees Athena again.) He just doesn’t know if Klavier was lying when he told her. She would see it, but would she tell him?

“Apollo,” she says, looking sad and pitying again and he knows what she’s going to say, knows that it’s making other people hurt isn’t going to stop the hurt you’re feeling and he knows and here they are anyway. 

He doesn’t want to hear it. He’s not sure what he would want to hear right now, other than that this has been a nightmare, that there’s been some mistake, that it wasn’t Clay, that it was all wrong. “I don’t know how you do it,” he says. “How you can just keep smiling even when - everything.” 

Mia told him what to do and he can’t do it. He has a concussion, and the nurse asked him if he lives with anyone who could check up on him and make sure that he doesn’t pass into a coma the next time he goes to sleep, and the evidence that should have helped point to the truth of Clay’s murder exploded instead, and the would-have-been queen of the faeries gave him one piece of advice and he can’t even follow that.

Trucy isn’t smiling now. But she smiled and told him to keep pressing the case when he was about to announce to a court of law that her biological father was murdered by Kristoph Gavin that spring, and he is trying to forget looking at Athena’s eyes when she spoke.

Apollo closes his eyes. He wants to sleep and leave it to fate and the severity of his head trauma as to whether he will wake up again. He wants to jump out of this bed and flee this hospital and go to the courtroom to look for clues and go to the Space Center to look for clues and find something that will put an end to this.

“I don’t really think Clay would kill anyone,” Trucy says, and Apollo isn’t looking at her.

He doesn’t need to know. Right now, he doesn’t want to know anything.

But he’s never been that fortunate.

After a while Trucy’s phone rings. She answers with a cheery, “It’s on speaker!” so that no one tries to talk about Apollo behind his back.

“They arrested Junie!”

It’s October and they’re standing in an auditorium and Detective Fulbright walks in to whisk Juniper away, and it’s December and they’re in a hospital and Athena is probably still at the courthouse and it doesn’t make a goddamn bit of sense.

“For what?” Trucy asks. 

“For the bombing! I don’t know what reason they think they have - they’re out of their fucking minds—”

Juniper? The police want to accuse a law student of knowing how to set off a bomb? If Juniper was the culprit then surely the argument would be that this bombing and the one at the Space Center are unconnected - and this can’t actually be a coincidence, can it? It can’t, but it could. Apollo’s head is pounding again. He doesn’t know anything about Athena but he doesn’t think that Juniper would give him a lotus root for support if she was planning to blow him up. He doesn’t think that she would nearly kill herself turning around to look for him and Athena if she had planned to blow them up. 

“Then we’ll defend her,” Apollo says. 

“I’m on my way to the detention center right now - I’m camping out until they close or let me talk to her—”

“What about Starbuck?” Trucy asks. “If his trial resumes tomorrow—”

“Then—” Apollo’s head won’t start spinning. “Then Athena and Mr Wright can defend Juniper. And - Trucy, you could be my assistant—”

He could trust her - could he trust her - he could trust her with what he saw - could he trust her with what he saw? He could trust her more than he could trust Phoenix. But that’s—

“Mr Wright didn’t sound totally confident that it would start back up tomorrow,” Athena says. “He’s still at the courthouse - or maybe he was going to start pulling on his connections at the Prosecutors Office to find out what’s gonna happen next for Mr Starbuck.”

The Chief Prosecutor certainly would know when a trial is going to resume. Apollo lets out his breath. He might go crazy if Starbuck’s trial is delayed a day and Athena stands as his assistant again. He might go crazy anyway. 

“There’s one casualty that they know of so far,” Athena continues. “She’s a witness for our case. The detective who was gonna testify about being the first to arrive at the scene. The judge was just calling her before the bomb went off, remember? Prosecutor Blackquill might need time to adjust his strategy without her to testify.”

“The detective…” Apollo can’t pull the name to mind. His heart sinks. Someone who could have helped them navigate the thorny path to the truth, gone. Prosecutor Blackquill likely knows the details of what would have been her testimony, but Apollo will have no chance for a cross-examination to pull out the details that matter only to the defense style of WAA lawyers. 

It can’t be a coincidence, can it? It can’t - but it could. Anything could be; that’s his luck. 

Vongole takes hold of the granola bar hanging half-eaten from Trucy’s hand and swallows it, plastic packaging and all. Then she looks straight at Apollo and he wonders what he looks like through her eyes. If she can see curses like Klavier and Phoenix can. 

He wonders if he’s cursed with more than seeing the truth.

-

By the time Apollo is discharged from the hospital, the detention center’s visiting hours have passed. Athena calls to say that she got in for a few minutes to confirm that Juniper has no idea why she was arrested and that Apollo is on the docket as her attorney tomorrow. Phoenix calls to say that Starbuck’s trial will not resume tomorrow. 

One more day for Clay’s killer to cover their tracks, if they aren’t Athena. Or even if she is. 

Their defense of Juniper has nothing but faith to stand on. They won’t get the autopsy report until tomorrow morning. Athena rants and rambles about her poor Junie being put through this again. Trucy goes out and gets ramen that Apollo barely eats. He fashions himself a new eyepatch out of bandages from the bathroom and changes the bandages on his arms. The deep scrapes have for the moment stopped bleeding, and the rest of his forearms are turning into one solid purple bruise. His back hurts and he wants to lay down and if he does he’s not going to be able to get back up and he can’t rest. There’s too much to do. He can’t fall apart now.

He lets Athena drive him home. He doesn’t dare meet her eyes.

His apartment is empty. Silent. Nothing has changed since he was last here. How could it?

Clay’s room is the cleanest it’s been in years. Can’t just go to space and leave a mess behind here for all that time, he said, a few weeks ago. Apollo groused that Clay could’ve organized sooner so that he could be on Earth to enjoy the fruits of his labor. Though Clay was never a slob in their shared spaces; he always cleaned enough to be sure that all of his protective charms were always in place. 

Some good those did him. 

Apollo steps inside, unsure of what he thinks he’s looking for. Clay’s GYAXA jacket hangs from his closet door. He didn’t need to take it with him, not on the launch day when he’d end up in a space suit. The pockets are empty but Apollo takes it down from its hook anyway, holding it over his arm as his eyes settle on Clay’s work laptop. What’s that doing here? Clay said that the director didn’t like him taking that home with him overnight, forget about for a weekend or the duration of a spaceflight. Having it outside of the center at all is a security risk. 

He sits at Clay’s desk, with Clay’s jacket draped across his lap, and opens Clay’s laptop. Clay’s password is a security risk too; his mother’s birthday. And then Apollo is staring at a GYAXA desktop and a dozen unfamiliar icons and program names, and not knowing what good any of that could do him, navigates to Clay’s email instead. 

He hasn’t received any new emails. The latest one is dated 9:15 pm, December 14th: the night before the launch. Clay was complaining about emails then. 

from: aurab@cosmoscenter

to: clayt@cosmoscenter

(no subject)

will be in my lab tomorrow 0500 on. if you change your mind come find me

They’d been over it already, Clay had said, the night before he died, when he got that email. And here was someone at the Center evidently thinking it wasn’t enough to have been over it already. 

Apollo’s search for any other emails from or to aurab yields nothing. They weren’t ever in contact with Clay before, so they didn’t work closely together. But they must have spoken in person, or over emails which Clay permanently deleted, for this followup email to be sent. Change your mind - on what? On the launch? Director Cosmos controlled the launch. Clay said he wasn’t going to back out. He said that to Apollo. He said they’d been over this already. 

Over what?

(Apollo hears Klavier saying self-defense and tastes bile, though that might be because he hasn’t properly eaten in two days.)

He slams the laptop shut. He has Juniper’s case to think about. He has a lotus root still in his briefcase. He has a concussion from trying to protect her. He can’t let himself be distracted. 

(If Clay’s email is clayt, then this person must be named Aura, and their surname begins with a B. That can’t be a common first name.)

Juniper’s trial is tomorrow morning. He’ll be ready. 

(Then Starbuck’s trial, and surely a chance to investigate the Space Center, and he’ll find this Aura, whoever they are.)

[hapigairu]

@deathbirby mentioned you on a post “when I read a 3h fic involving the nabats I...”:

@hapigairu lol go right ahead

​Thank you!

So... um... I thought the idea of the fic was to have Edelgard in the Blue Lions or something? Why does it look like a retelling of CF? "rhea forces edelgard to transform into a nabatean and it's very body horror-ish. she's like a mad scientist, completely crazy, insane, delusional and everything you would expect from CF fanfic rhea." That sounds like something Cornelia would do, not Rhea. Dunno how cruel Rhea is supposed to be there, but the whole mad-scientist with horror-ish vibes is very much a Cornelia thing. I am very confused. "rhea talks about the red canyon tragedy and seteth even mentions how he's heard her screaming at night babbling for her mother to come save her and it's just.. kinda shrugged off cuz bad things in past doesnt let you do bad things now (hmmm hypocrisy)" I mean... that's true that you can't justify doing terrible things because you had a traumatic past, obviously... Except Edelgard can for some reason? What? Also if someone's traumatised to the point of "screaming at night" (though I don't think Rhea would do that, I could see her crying when she's alone though), maybe don't shrug it off and help them regardless of what they've done? Which... Rhea did some questionable things (and still it wasn't out of malice at all), but absolutely nothing so evil that she should be denied compassion or help? Am I crazy in thinking that?

"also something where the holy tomb splits or something (rhea had a hand in that im pretty sure because of course) and sothis's dragon corpse is in there and that alone makes draconic features appear on the nabateans (pretty sick idea all things considered)" Splits? But yeah, that's a neat idea (the whole draconic features thing)! "edelgard's sibling (???) is a massive rhea simp and very zealous because of course"

Sibling? Okay, why not. Maybe they didn't all die, which... good for them and Edelgard! I don't think it's a bad idea at all, especially since the drama potential can be very strong. But how did they end up simping for Rhea if they were basically prisoner of the Agarthans? How does that happen? I'm guessing it's explained, but... it better be a very good explanation for it to make sense. And yeah... of course you can't like Rhea without being a zealot. *sighs* "the agarthans are more sympathetic?? like you can have an agarthan standing next to seteth without him losing his shit. also the holy tomb is apparently an alien mothership now because why not (thales said that. why is thales even alive idk)" The Agarthans are just so comically evil that I can understand wanting to flesh them out and add some complexities to them. Personally, I'd like to think that some Agarthans living in Shamballah are really not cool with what Thales and the others are doing, but freedom isn't exactly a thing in Shamballah when it comes to "Surface Dweller Sympathisers" or something like that. Cause no group is a monolith and surely, there must a minority of them -however tiny- not okay with their leaders? Like, younger people who are just done with having to hear about Thales' hate spiel and just want to live their damn lives? Idk, maybe I'm completely off-base with this lol. But yeah, I can't see Seteth be totally calm and collected when someone who likely participated in murdering his race stands near him. Just... nope. "epic final battle against rhea! you got edelgard, hubert, jeralt(??) and byleth all up against rhea! and she holds her own quite well. and then byleth gets knocked out and sothis takes control to scold rhea. and because even her own mom is against her rhea loses her will to live (not literally but she actually does lose her immortality as punishment??)" That's...uh... huh. Sothis is a bad mom and somehow it's her daughter's fault because it's always her fault? Seems a bit fucked up if you ask me. "oh and you get fun moments where edelgard yells at rhea during the fight and throws arguments at her. she thrust nobility onto humanity (false), she made herself a false idol (??), etc." Ah, yes. Rhea is the reason why nobility exist. What's that? What about Brigid and Almyra? The fact that they have nobility shall be either ignored or still be Rhea's fault somehow. And like, we don't know exactly how the Church was created IIRC? Yeah, Rhea had a hand in it, but she wasn't the only one I'm guessing? It reminds of a fanart where -after the battle against Nemesis- some soldiers said they fought for her and she was really moved. Really nice fanart, hats off to whoever did it. "if im not mistaken, the author of the fic is a "agarthans are actually natives and sothis was a colonist" believer. so that should give you a general idea." Yeah, that checks out. It's such a shame that, for all the discussion about how everyone is supposedly morally grey (lol), not many people are actually trying to give Rhea and the Nabateans nuances. She's far from perfect (and she knows it actually) and she has so much potential as a morally-greyish but ultimately good person. But not even KT/IS (IS a bit more with FEH) are interested in being fair to her, so it's no surprise most people aren't either. And, ofc, no hate to the author. It's just disappointing to see that the Rhea hate is so prevalent.

[pashminalamb]

Oh! Okay I’m really glad and that’s a huge relief too. Oh ho ho ho I’m sure that NNN challenger idea is gonna be great I look forward to it! 😌 AHHHHH I also can’t wait for Bachira to be added into the series. I saw him the first episode and I was like “yes that one. the insane adorable one? yeah he’s mine now.” Asdhjkgfghh I love him so much. And those are some solid pieces of advice. I should probably remind myself of them more often. Ohhh what book? I recently went on a book shopping spree (that was my birthday gift) and got a whole bunch of books that I can’t wait to read once I have the time. The to-be-read list keeps getting longer and I’m like “…… but one more book wouldn’t hurt.” And then proceed to add 5 more ajshkjfdfcchjfdfg 💀💀. Anyways. Also kind of a random fact abt me but like I’m anime-only for Blue Lock rn and I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING BUT HEAR ME OUT. No I promise you didn’t spoil me. I’m a master at avoiding them now because I have this habit of like watching the first episode and then deep-diving into the shows tag on tumblr (x reader too ofc) and like seeing if I like the vibes. I have not yet gotten spoiled because I’m so practiced at dodging spoilers now. Anything that remotely even LOOKS like a spoiler I’m like “nope” and keep scrolling even tho it doesn’t get any easier each time 😭. So like don’t worry abt spoilers with me. But with this I’m always so excited for upcoming events and meeting new characters in the show. And especially with Blue Lock, cause like I’m a sports anime lover and the concept of Blue Lock is so different and new and it was so hyped up that I knew I had to try it. Fast forward to now and I have volume 2 of the manga and am waiting on my orders for volumes 1 and 3 😌😅💀. I’m still anime only tho cause I wanna finish the first season before I start the manga, that’s my policy. And like it’s so interesting how this show hooked me with the first episode (cough cough Bachira cough cough) and now I’m planning on reading the manga which is a huge surprise because I never read sports anime manga cause I feel like watching it is just more of a experience you know? Haikyuu being the only exception for me ofc. I’m currently in a mission to collect all 45 volumes. But it’s gonna take me a minute for obvious reasons. Anyways. But like Blue Lock just came in and swept me away. So like I’m really excited to see what happens in next weeks episode. Also your works were one of the reasons I decided to watch Blue Lock in the first place because they were so amazing to read even though I didn’t know any of the characters. Like your writing is just THAT good. So thank you for feeding into my new obsession 😌. Also I read in your bio awhile ago that you’re a November Scorpio? Happy early or belated birthday!! 🥳🎉🎂 I’m an October Scorpio so reading that was a pleasant surprise. Anyways. Thank you for your kind words in response to my earlier ask, they really meant a lot. Your blog is a huge comfort for me, all of tumblr really, but there are only a few blogs that I actually intact with because I love the vibes and energy and writing and the person behind it all (ie you), it’s just overall really comforting and makes me feel safe. ALSO do you mind if I give you my review and analysis of the episodes as I watch them?? Maybe occasionally?? I cant do that with your works yet unfortunately but I will try to as soon as I finish the first season or give into reading the manga before the season ends, whichever comes first. You can clearly tell that my self-restraint is on thin ice 💀💀. Anyways as always I hope your day goes good! *sends virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

✨ anon !! ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

Oh yeah the idea I have for the NNN challenge is gonna be a tempting one but at the same time not everyone's cup of tea cause its kind of an old school idea; but at the same time. I know watching this thing made me go 'That's hot.'

Oh yeah i totally know that feeling of seeing someone and just falling for them. Like when I saw Yoichi I was all like 'he is so cute. lil blueberry muffin' and when I saw Kunigami I deadass went 'that's literally football bakugou and there is no way you can convince me otherwise. Cause just look at him, man wants to be a surperhero and looks EXACTLY like him, but he wasn't that much of an asshole' (he gets turned into one later during the series tho) Meguru looked so cute just lying on the floor and I kinda get him and his monster cause its a way of saying that he's in the zone (like the aomine and Kagami knb reference if anyone knows what I'm talking about?)

As for me; the moment I saw Aiku... I was like 'you have my attention.' But I knew something wasn't right cause I knew that this looked a little too good. Then i find out that he is a womanizer. And to add more onto that, he even got slapped and didn't care. He likes summer cause he gets to see girls in bikinis. And I was right about him liking baby chicks

Out of EVERYONE how is it that I get stuck with a person like this (me just proving that I fall for red flags) but i still love him and watch me defend this man .

(like even if you look at my track record with Haikyuu; likes Miya twins, Sawamura Daichi, Kageyama Tobio, Kuroo Tetsuro. Istg I'm asking for it)

So I'm currently reading Tuesdays with Morrie; its a heavy book based on the conversation between a dying teacher and his student and its based more on philosophy and the books I got were the old man and the sea by Ernest Hemingway, the alchemist by Paulo Coelho and books based on psychology. I have a very mixed taste and from the looks of it, its not very interesting is it? my personality is a mess and so is the aesthetic i roll with atp

Which books did you get? Must be some pretty good ones if you can't stop and you need to read 5 more? Is it a manga?

Oh yeah i totally get it. Reading a football manga and actually seeing it animated are two very different things (I wanna see how they animate Aiku cause I already got early spoilers for how everyone else looked. But aiku? I am waiting. I spoiled chainsawman for everyone and I was really surprised that Pochita's voice was so soft cause I was expecting something as deep as Daichi's voice? And same. Even if I get spoilers I will watch the whole thing; its a different story when i figure out the plot tho (i was forced to watch YOU despite predicting the entire plot of season 1 and season 2 in 5 minutes ; its the typical 'if I can't have you no one can' but I watched it anyway cause of my ex. couple goals ) I wish you luck on the journey of collecting all 45 mangas; cause even I wanna get bllk mangas ngl and I plan on buying one this week ig but I keep pushing it off ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა

I- I am surprised but happy that I got you into bllk ૮⸝⸝ > ꇴ <;⸝⸝ づ with time i'll even get you to like Aiku

And we can obsess together

And yeah i am a november scorpio; thank you for you wishes anon!!

( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) we're scorpio buddies

I'm glad you like my writing though cause even if the content and the pace I keep with the posting is according to my comfort, at the end of the day, its an 'x reader' edition and you guys are the ones reading it; so it means a lot to me when every one of you reads my works and likes it ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა and I'm glad that you feel safe here and that this is your comfort blog.

Of course !! You're very much welcome to give an analysis or a review whenever you want and ready!

go wild bb. Tumblr is supposed to be chaotic and that is welcome here ♡꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱

*sending hugs back*

[blanketwithcheese]

Bit of a goofy Lil sad post about me but I'm started to feel like a nuisance to everyone around me so I'm using my resources

So a couple months ago, I lost my room to my cousin at my mom's house, and it caused a HUGE rift in the relationship I have with my mom, and it already wasn't great. And after a year, I finally got my room back because my cousin left for summer, and even though I knew I would most definitely lose my room again when I left for school, atleast it was something.

That was until today, where my cousin came back and now SHE is missing a room, so I asked my mom what the room situation was and she said "well (cousin) is upset because she wants the room and your upset because you say it's your room"

I- IM SORRY?! ok, so you're telling me that I'm crazy for thinking it's my room because when we did a house tour you tried to convince me to take this room, am I crazy for thinking it's my room after we AGREED on the reasons I should have this room, YOUR TELLING ME that I'm crazy for thinking it's MY ROOM because when the initial argument about this happened you threw (cousin) under the bus. Oh my bad I didn't know that being told a room is MY ROOM and then thinking it's MY ROOM makes me insane, I didn't know it made me absolutely bonkers, I didn't know it made me astronomically unhinged. MY BAD ILL TRY AND DO BETTER NEXT TIME.

So after that little sentence I chose this moment to try and understand what dear old MOTHER thinks because we clearly aren't on the same page, so I asked her "is it not my room, it seems we aren't on the same page, so what do you think" and after a bit of background and forth of trying to drag it out of her because she kept trying to avoid the question, she responded "I don't know the situation I don't know"

...I'm sorry, apologies, guilt ridden?

You. Don't. Know. I'm happy I finally got an answer (and ignoring that it took this long), but it shouldn't be this hard to understand, when we looked at the house we all collectively decided that I got backdoor room, (cousin) got average room, and the parents got the guest bedroom and the couch, what's difficult about that.

Oh but wait a minute, you know when a couple words ago I said we all collectively decided, yeah I'm starting to think that wasnt the agreement my mom and cousin had because, before I left there wasnt a bedframe in the room, when I come back all of a sudden there's a loft bed, before I left there wasn't a TV, when I came back there was a chonken TV, before I left there were random boxes and shelves that were just thrown in there for convenience, when I came back shocker they were all gone. And the list of differences just keeps on going, the fake vines that are hung up in places I can't reach, the mini fridge, the 10 boxes worth of stuff scattered. All of that, and you mean to tell me that my cousin did that ALL herself, even if there wasn't an initial deal done where she would get my room while I was gone, they most Definitely helped her move her stuff the other room and that hurts just as much I'd say.

Now I'm sure you might be thinking "well clearly your not gonna be there all the time do you just expect them to have a useless empty room while your gone?" And to that I say no, I would have been fine if they used my room as storage or and office while I was gone but they didn't do that, they completely gave my room to someone else without telling or asking me and then tried to make my cousin look bad and then make me look bad, they alienated me in a home I'm supposed to feel safe and protected in, they made me feel homesick in a place I'm supposed to call a home, they took away my privacy and safety.

And in the end what did my mother say when she offered to discuss the situation "I just want you to feel comfortable the next couple of time you come here" and it took everything in my power to not tell her that it's too late for me to ever feel safe around here or around her, because she created a broken environment for me that she can't fix.

I think that if my younger self who also had to live with the same cosin saw the situation I was in right now, she would beat out cousin to the ground, I never liked my cousin because she was annoying and my mom would never pay attention to me and only give her attention to my cousin (I mean and Facebook but I didn't understand that part at the time) and now look where we are, I no longer have a female role model in my life AND i wish I was dead because my mom gave more attention to my cousin. This was a long post, but oh well. I only have to be here for a couple more weeks, and I'm already 110% done