#something something crying and holding hands and hugging | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dandylovesturtles · 3 days

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alright, here it is: part 3 of the still untitled Room Fic! and boy is it long... this might be as long as parts 1 and 2 put together.

Content warnings for this part: vomit, serious discussion of food issues, internalized ableism, everyone being a little bit dumb

I am not a doctor and my meal plan for Leo is extremely lightly researched (mainly because it's hard to find information that would be helpful in Leo's situation but that isn't highly technical). in the end I went with what I like from a narrative standpoint. if someone starves as long as Leo did please get them to an actual doctor lol.

also I got tired and didn't proofread the last few sections.

just a warning that I'm going on vacation next week and will be out of the country for awhile so don't expect any more for this for quite some time. in the meantime, hope you enjoy this!

and if you're confused, start here!

-----

Leo wakes up.

The room is moving. His head is cradled in someone's lap. There's a furry hand stroking his arm, and a voice hums the notes of a lullaby he hasn't heard since he was a child.

-----

Leo wakes up.

He's lying somewhere soft and blessedly warm. There's a weight across his chest. Someone is chattering in his ear, happy and upbeat, saying something to him about Jupiter Jim on the desert planet Delta-5.

-----

Leo wakes up.

He's still somewhere soft but now it's too hot. He whines and pushes at the things on his chest. Near his ear someone tuts, and then a hand lands on his, giving it a squeeze.

"Nardo, you need to warm up. Don't-"

-----

Leo wakes up, and his eyes open.

"Leo?" comes Raph's voice. Leo blinks to clear his vision, then lets his eyes trail up, to find his big brother bending over him. "You awake for real this time?"

He isn't sure. Raph being here sure feels like a dream.

He lowers his eyes and looks around. He's not home. He doesn't recognize this place at all, actually. But the walls are beige (still unstimulating, but at least not white), the furniture is dark brown, the bed (not a cot) has a blue bedspread, the empty takeout containers on the table have a splash of red. It's not home, but it's not the room, either.

If he were going to dream, surely he'd just picture himself back home.

He blinks back up at Raph, and smiles.

"Wide awake," he says, echoing Raph from before.

Raph bursts into tears, immediately leaning down and wrapping Leo up in one of his signature hugs. For the first time in so many days (longer, longer, Leo can't remember the last time he got a Raph hug like this), Leo feels completely secure, fully enveloped in love and affection, held safe by his big brother where no one can hurt him.

The difference between this moment and the last week and a half is so stark it leaves Leo feeling dizzy. Like he hadn't even realized how scared and lonely and helpless he truly felt until all that pain was taken away. He's safe now. He's okay now. Raph is hugging him.

Leo hates crying in front of people, but even he can't be stoic for this.

"Oh Leo," says Raph softly once he realizes. "It's okay. We got'cha."

Leo sniffs, burying his face in Raph's plastron. He wishes he could hug back, but his limbs feel so heavy, like Donnie swapped them out for metal versions when he wasn't looking. So he can't hug back, but he leans in close and hopes that's enough.

They get about a minute to hug before Mikey is worming his way in between them, wriggling to push his arms past Raph's and around Leo for himself. "No fair, you got to hold him earlier!" Mikey declares, his voice thick with tears.

"You got to hug him earlier," Raph argues.

"He was asleep, it doesn't count!" Mikey hits back, and Leo laughs and shifts so Mikey can better get in the middle. Raph sighs exaggeratedly, but he gives Leo a pat and leans back to let Mikey in.

Mikey hugs even tighter than Raph, nuzzling in against Leo's shoulder. "I missed you," he says, then gives a choked sob he tries to bury.

"Missed you too," Leo promises, craning his neck so he can land a big smooch on Mikey's head. That replaces the sobs with relieved giggles that leave Leo feeling so much lighter.

After another minute, Mikey moves back and looks over at Donnie, who's been standing at the side of the bed wringing his hands. "Your turn, Donald."

Donnie makes a grumpy noise at having been perceived, but when Leo gets a look at his face he sees Donnie has tears shimmering in his eyes, too. They break free once Donnie's arms are around him, trickling onto the skin of Leo's shoulder.

"Crying over me, Don-ton?" he teases, even as his own voice is thick with emotion.

"Shut up, Nardo," Donnie snaps back, but his voice cracks at the end and he holds on even tighter.

"Alright, my turn," says April once Donnie starts to loosen his grip, and Donnie obligingly crawls off the bed, swiping at his eyes. Like he's looking for something to busy himself with, he starts throwing away the takeout containers on the table. They must be empty.

Leo tears his eyes away just as April swoops in to wrap him up in his fourth hug of the hour, giving him a kiss on his forehead as she does. "Hey, Leo. How're you feelin'?"

"Happy to see you," he says again, and she squeezes him tighter. "Kinda hot."

"That's the hypothermia talking," says Donnie. April shushes him.

"Hypothermia?" Leo asks. April pulls back so she can see his face.

"It wasn't that bad," she says quickly. "You'd started brumating, we think... Tromping around in the snow didn't help, though."

"Not to mention you used up the last of your energy portaling us out of there," Mikey chimes in. "It was really cool though!"

Leo laughs. "Thanks, little brother." Even with the containers thrown away, the smell of the takeout is thick in the room. Leo guesses they had Japanese. It can't have been that long ago. "Where are we?"

"Motel room about two hours down the road." April slides to sit next to him, keeping one arm wrapped around his shoulders. Her body heat is warm in a more pleasant way than the blankets, and he leans into it. "We wanted to go further, but we needed to get you warmed up."

"A motel...? Huh." Leo looks around again. This is his first time being in a hotel that isn't owned by Big Mama. He wonders how far it is from the Japanese place. Just, like, average delivery time. "What happened? It's... kind of a blur for me." He laughs.

They launch into the story without any more prompting. It all sounds like what Leo expected. Raph led the team. Donnie did science stuff. Mikey razzed his tazz. April used her investigative skills.

They tracked him all the way down to Colorado (that explains the snow) and broke him out. They floored it away from the EPF, got far enough they felt safe, then booked into a motel under April's name. That's where they've been since. Splinter and Draxum are out now, patrolling to make sure they weren't followed or discovered.

It's quite the story. And Leo knows he should be paying more attention than he is.

It's just, the takeout boxes. The smell coming from them is so strong, or maybe Leo is just abnormally sensitive to it. He thinks someone had steak, and someone else had fish. The fried rice had egg in it. His mouth is watering so badly he has to swallow every few seconds.

"Leo?" calls Mikey, and Leo startles, ripping his eyes from the trash can to look at Mikey's face. He's gripping the bedspread so hard his knuckles are cramping. He realizes this is not the first time Mikey said his name. Great, now they know he wasn't paying attention.

"Ah, sorry," he says quickly. "I didn't mean to zone out." He flashes them all the biggest smile he can, so they don't worry. "I was just, uh..."

He trails off, not sure of a way to say that he was completely distracted by the smell of their already eaten Japanese food without making it awkward.

"Sorry, Leo, we know you're tired," says Raph, reaching over and rubbing his head. "You can go back to sleep. We're not leaving for awhile."

Go back to sleep? Leo doubts he can, what with the hunger an empty yawning hole inside him. It had been muted while the cold and the exhaustion took over, but now that he's warmer and more rested his body is very painfully reminding him he still has another problem.

He's trying to come up with a casual way to approach the subject when his stomach does it for him, gurgling and growling loud enough that everyone hears it. Leo is very glad his blushes don't show up as easily as humans' do.

"Uh... heh heh." He scratches at his own cheek, then stops when he feels how disturbingly hollowed out it is. "Before that... are there any leftovers?"

Everyone's staring at him. Leo's too tired to puzzle out why they're all staring at him. Maybe there really aren't any leftovers? He did just watch Donnie throw everything away. Maybe there were some, but now they'd have to fish it out of the trash. Leo wants to say he'd happily eat it out of the trash, but that would be really weird and they'd stare at him even more.

(But he would eat it out of the trash. He may be too proud to say it out loud, but he can admit it to himself.)

"O-or," he says quickly, to fill the silence after his last question, "if... if it's not too much trouble, can you ask Dad and Barry to bring something with them when they come back? Even if it's just something from a gas station, or..." They're still staring, and Leo feels himself starting to ramble desperately, "Or if it's too late, I can just... I can just go back to sleep, hah, but... but can someone at least wake me up so I don't miss breakfast?"

His family stutters back to life at that. Raph gives a furious shake of his head and says, "Forget breakfast," which makes Leo's heart and stomach lurch painfully. Waiting until lunch? That feels like forever away.

But then Raph continues with, "Leo, why didn't you tell us you're hungry right now?"

Leo falters. "Uh... just... didn't want to interrupt the flow of the conversation," he says, which is true, but the way everyone is looking at him now, he's pretty sure it's the wrong answer.

"Please," says April, tone very close to exasperated, "interrupt the conversation."

"Will do," says Leo. But he's still not sure what to do, because no one has told him when food is coming.

(You want this? You beg for it.)

Before he can spin out on that thought, Mikey jumps off the bed and heads for the mini-fridge that Leo hadn't noticed until now. He yanks open the door and pulls out two takeout containers, a box and a cylindrical container.

"We weren't sure what you felt up to, so we got you steak hibachi and miso soup," Mikey says, waving each container in turn.

The thought of having to actually chew and swallow sounds exhausting, so Leo says, "Soup's fine." And then, just in case, he adds hastily, "Please."

"Okay," says Mikey, and even though he's clearly trying to sound upbeat, Leo can hear the strain in his voice. "Just give me a minute to heat it up for you!"

Leo would eat it cold. Leo would eat it frozen. But he bites that back and waits.

Mikey puts it in the microwave on top of the fridge. Every little tick down on the timer feels like it takes three eternities. The rest of his family seems to feel the tension as much as he does.

"April!" says Donnie abruptly, too loud to be natural. "You wanted to see what's on the sci-fi channel!"

"Thaaat's right!" she says, also a little too loudly. "I did. Hand me the remote."

Donnie gives her the remote. She turns on the TV just as the microwave dings.

Mikey yanks the door open as soon as it does, pulling the bowl out with no regard for how hot it is. He gives it a perfunctory blow to cool it down, then hurries over to the bed, pausing only to grab a plastic spoon off a little pile of utensils on the table.

He hands both the bowl and spoon to Leo, but Leo already knows his arms won't be able to maneuver the spoon, so he lets it fall into his lap, in favor of lifting the entire container to his lips. He hopes he doesn't look too pathetically eager as he tilts it back and takes his first sip.

It's good.

It's so good he starts crying.

It's not even the best miso soup he's ever had. In fact, it's a little too oily and nowhere near as good as the kind his dad makes, or what Mikey is capable of. But it doesn't matter. It wouldn't matter if this was the worst soup in the world, because right now it's the best thing Leo has ever tasted.

He may be crying more over this than he did over hugs from his family. Maybe he'll have it in him to feel bad for that later.

The TV is showing some old monster movie. His siblings pretend they're watching that and not watching him. He appreciates that, because it makes him feel less self-conscious as he desperately slurps down the soup, practically guzzling it, only pausing when he has to chew the greens here and there.

He eats until his stomach is full and warm. And then he keeps going. There's still soup left, and stopping feels impossible.

(Besides, no one actually promised him breakfast.)

"Hey, maybe you should slow down," says Donnie. Leo pauses, looking up at him, licking the remains of soup off his lips. The container is still about a third full.

Maybe Donnie is right. His stomach is actually starting to cramp. But... but...

He doesn't know what his face looks like right now. But something about it makes Donnie look sad.

He turns away, rubbing right between his fake eyebrows. "Okay, okay. Just... don't overdo it."

Leo sighs, grateful the soup isn't being taken away. He goes back to drinking it, feeling like the chasm inside him is finally beginning to fill.

-----

The next time Leo wakes up, it's because he has to puke. Unfortunately, he doesn't have time to communicate that before it's all over himself and the bedsheets.

"Whoa, Leo-" someone says, and then there's a flurry of activity around him. He can't keep up with who goes where and who says what. It's a lot to keep track of when he just woke up and is spewing half-digested miso soup and stomach bile.

"There we go... You're alright, Blue, you're alright," he hears once he comes back to his senses, and he blinks and looks over. His dad is standing on the bed next to him, and he leans in with a damp washcloth and wipes at Leo's face and mouth.

"Perhaps the soup was too much for your stomach," Splinter says as he finishes, tossing the washcloth into the floor. "How do you feel?"

"Mm... weird," Leo admits, leaning sleepily into his dad's shoulder. He shouldn't because he's gross, but Splinter lets him do it, stroking his cheek. "My stomach hurts..."

The loss of the food hurts; without anything in his stomach, he'll feel hungry again soon. Leo is terrified of that, of the deep empty chasm of his hunger returning, sucking him down into its depths. At the same time, the idea of eating makes him feel queasy.

He feels weird, and miserable, and scared, and he doesn't know when his dad came back, but he's so glad he's here.

"How much did you let him eat?" he hears Draxum ask. Leo finds the energy to feel offended that he's being talked about like he isn't in the room, but not enough energy to actually say anything about it.

"As much as he wanted," Mikey answers. Which, as Leo recalls, was almost all of the soup.

"And how much was that?"

"Here, look."

There's the sound of the mini-fridge being opened again. The pop of the takeout lid. Draxum hums in a way that does not sound pleased.

"Leonardo," he says, coming to stand by the bed now. "I have a very important question and I need you to answer: when was the last time you ate?"

Leo stares at him blearily. Then he raises a tired hand and indicates the mess all down his front.

"Don't get cute," says Draxum, ignoring the following grunt of warning Splinter directs his way. "You know what I'm asking you."

Of course Leo knows. But he doesn't want to answer. Not while his dad is holding him, and all his siblings are watching him expectantly. They aren't going to like what he has to tell them. He doesn't want to upset them.

But Draxum is unmoved and steely eyed. There's no way Leo is getting out of this without answering.

He sighs, shutting his eyes and leaning into Splinter so he doesn't have to be looking at the rest of them when he says it.

"Last time I ate was at Run of the Mill."

He hears a gasp, hears Mikey yell, "What!?" Feels Splinter's sharp intake of breath under his cheek, and then his dad shifts so he can hold him even closer.

"They... they didn't feed you in there at all?" asks April, like she doesn't quite believe it.

Leo nods.

"I should have leveled the whole building!" Donnie snaps, and Leo hears something get knocked to the ground.

Mikey comes closer, and puts a hand on his shoulder, drawing Leo's gaze back his way. He looks so upset, and Leo regrets looking. "Leo, why didn't you tell us? You didn't even say you were hungry!"

"Felt weird to bring it up in the middle of the happy reunion," he says. It's a weak justification, he knows. The look on Mikey's face just gets more miserable.

"Wait," Raph cuts in. "Wait, so... when Bishop said he gave you chances to cooperate for better living conditions, he meant..."

Leo swallows hard, not wanting to look at the distress on Raph's face. "Feeding me, yeah."

"What did he want out of you? What was he making you do?"

This part, at least, Leo can answer easily. "He wanted information. About the yokai and the Hidden City."

Raph sounds surprised. "He just... wanted you to answer questions?"

"Yeah." Leo nods again. "Like, how to get in, how many portals there are, what kind of defense capabilities there are, stuff about Draxum... That's what I remember."

"Why didn't you just tell them?"

Now Leo does look at Raph's face. He's staring at Leo with open horror and distress. But Leo doesn't understand the question, or the look. He did what he was supposed to, didn't he? He held out and didn't give Bishop any information. He did the right thing. So Raph has no reason to look so upset.

He smiles in a way he hopes is reassuring. "Hey, that's not what a hero would do, right?"

It's apparently not reassuring. If anything, Raph only looks more horrified.

He turns away from Leo abruptly and marches straight out of the room, slamming the door on the way out.

Leo doesn't understand that reaction. He did what he was supposed to, but Raph is mad at him, anyway. The rest of his family seems shocked, too, so at least Leo isn't alone.

"I'll talk to him," says April, the first to move. She leaves with much less noise, disappearing into the dark parking lot beyond the door.

Awkward silence envelops the room after that. Leo doesn't know what to do or say to break it. He made Raph mad, because he never does anything right, according to Raph. It's the same as always, but for some reason Leo feels even worse this time.

"...Well," says Draxum, cutting through the awkwardness when it becomes clear no one else wants to, "knowing this, we will have to be much more careful about what and how much you eat. I'll make a meal plan."

"Why you?" Leo grouses. "Let Donnie do it."

Donnie opens his mouth like he wants to agree, but Draxum cuts him off before he can.

"Me, because I have actual experience designing nutritious meal plans for children." Leo thinks of what he's heard about Draxum's lunchroom and makes a face, which Draxum ignores. "Besides, I can't trust any of the rest of you to actually tell Leo he can't have more to eat."

"I can handle myself," Leo argues.

"Clearly," says Draxum icily, indicating the mess still in Leo's lap, "you cannot."

Leo doesn't have a good response for that, and no one steps up to his defense. Back not even twenty four hours, and he already has multiple people mad at him. That has to be a new record.

"...Whatever," he says, because he doesn't know what else to say. Draxum nods like he actually gave approval.

There's another round of awkward silence. Splinter breaks it this time.

"Why doesn't someone call housekeeping to ask for some fresh sheets," he says, "while I help Blue take a bath."

"Ugh, yes, I'm calling them now," says Donnie. Leo notes for the first time that his most persnickety brother is as far from his bed as possible, having put the second bed and the table between them. "The whole room is starting to smell."

Leo cringes. "Sorry..."

"There is nothing for you to apologize for," his dad reassures him, patting his head. Leo isn't sure he'd say that, but he doesn't waste breath arguing. "Now, come with me."

It takes some maneuvering, but they get him out of bed without making a bigger mess. Mikey starts stripping the sheets, and he can hear Donnie on the phone with the staff across the room.

Leo's still not wearing any of his gear. It shouldn't matter because he's just in a room with his family, but he still walks to the bathroom as quickly as he can.

Splinter shuts the door once they're inside, then fills a little plastic cup with water. This he hands off to Leo, saying, "Drink this, and I will run you a nice warm bath."

Leo does as he says, and tries not to think too much about how Raph is mad at him.

-----

There's an old concrete barrier that stands between the motel parking lot and an open field. Raph hefts a piece of the crumbling concrete and chucks it as hard as he can, watching as it disappears into the tall grass beyond.

They starved him. They starved his little brother for over a week, because he wouldn't answer some questions. And he wouldn't answer those questions because...

That's not what a hero would do.

Raph's ninpo flares to life. Punching out another piece of the barrier is easy; he lifts the broken pieces and throws them after the first, watching them sail through the air.

"You better hope there aren't any security cameras out here," says a voice behind him, and he looks over his shoulder.

April is there, standing a few feet back, hands tucked in the pockets of her jacket. Raph's ninpo stutters out at the sight of her; he wonders if he looked scary.

"...What are they gonna do even if there are?" he asks. But he does stop his wanton destruction.

"I don't know, but just remember it's my credit card on file for damages." Her voice is teasing, though, and he knows she isn't actually mad. She comes over, turning so she can lean against part of the barrier that's still intact. "Come on, Big Red. Talk to me."

Raph doesn't turn around. He can't stand to look back at the motel, at the room where his brother is, tiny and weak and with a stomach that's been empty for days on end. He can't handle it right now. So he keeps his eyes on the field.

"Leo let those guys hurt him," he says.

"No he didn't," says April. "He can't help what they did to him."

"If he'd just answered their questions, they would have fed him."

"We can't know that." April shakes her head. "You heard what Draxum said about those guys. You saw what they were like. Maybe if Leo had answered their questions, they would have just killed him. Leo was probably thinking that, too."

"But that's not what he said," Raph points out.

"...Look." April takes a deep breath. "Leo... just went through a lot. We don't know what he was thinking while he was in there, or what he's thinking now. And you know that boy likes to say flashy things. Don't take anything he says right now too seriously."

"But what if this is the most truthful he's gonna be? What if he just hasn't thought of a good lie yet?"

"Raph-"

"No, you don't get it, April." Raph holds his head in his hands, like he can physically hold the dark thoughts at bay, but he can't, and they keep coming: horrific images of what could have happened, if they'd been too late, if the EPF had been less patient. "I told him to stop thinking of himself! Right before he disappeared, I told him he needed to be a hero! But Raph didn't mean like this!"

"Hey now, you don't know-" April tries, but Raph cuts her off.

"I just wanted him to stop doing everything himself! All the showboating, all the running in without talkin' to us... Raph just wanted him to remember that we're a team!" He lets go of his head and grips the concrete instead, so hard it cracks and crumbles under his fingers. "What if he took that to mean he should risk his life for everyone else? That he had to sacrifice himself?"

"Oookay, slow down there, big guy," says April, turning around and putting a hand on his arm. "You're taking one thing he said and blowing it way out of proportion."

"But what if I'm right?" Raph shakes his head. "How do I live with that, if I am? Knowing I almost killed him?"

"Okay, you look at me right now," she demands, in a way Raph can't refuse. He turns, and she reaches up and grabs his face by the cheeks, yanking him down until he bends to her eye level.

"You did not almost kill him. That was those EPF guys." Her voice is stern, and her grip on his face prevents him from objecting. "And even if you are right, and it's what you said to Leo that kept him from answering... well, then that's something the two of you will have to work out together."

She lets him go, putting her hands on her hips. "But what's done is done. Right now, Leo is exhausted and starved, and he's not really in a state for big emotional talks. So let's just get some space and get your head on straight. Once we get him home and everything's calmed down, the two of you can hash this out."

Raph lets out a strangled laugh, slumping down against the crumbling barrier. "Yeah, because that's so easy."

"I'm not saying it's easy." She sits down next to him, putting her hand on his arm. "But you guys love each other, so you'll do the hard things you have to do. I know you got this." She gives him a wink. "You're Raph."

Raph isn't sure he has that much faith in himself. But April isn't wrong very often, so he thinks he should probably listen to her.

-----

The water feels nice on Leo's skin, pleasantly warm and soothing. He sinks down until all but his eyes are in the water, letting it swirl around him.

He still feels a little exposed, but it's only Splinter in here, and that helps. It's like he's a little kid again, getting a bath from his dad, but he has to scrunch to cram his legs in the tub and that ruins the illusion.

"My Baby Blue always did enjoy a nice bath," says Splinter fondly, rustling up hotel soap for them to use.

He wets a washcloth and lathers it up, then cleans off the top of Leo's head and back of his neck, then down to his shoulders and the ridge of his shell. Leo would normally protest this kind of treatment, but right now he's not sure he can lift his arms above his head, so he doesn't.

Besides, it feels nice.

"Float on your front," Splinter says, adding, "Deep breath." It's what he always said when they were kids and he wanted to wash their shells. Everyone but Mikey can hold their breath for a long time, but he always says it anyway.

Leo takes a deep breath and flips onto his front, closing his eyes as his dad washes the back of his shell. It's so soothing he could almost take a nap here. The world is nicely muted under the water.

Splinter gives his shell three pats with his hand, the signal to sit back up. Leo does, rolling onto his back to rinse off. Splinter hands him the washcloth and soap, and he cleans his lower half, taking care around the bottom ridges of his shell.

"Thanks for the bath, Daddio," he says as he finishes. "I know I was starting to get pretty ripe." He pulls up the drain plug with a pop, watching the dirty water spin away.

He tries to imagine he's watching the last of that place drain away with it.

Splinter retrieves a fluffy white towel, drying off the top of Leo's head before handing it off. "I wasn't thinking of that," he says. "But I know a good bath always made you feel better when you were sick."

It was never really about the bath, but the undivided dad attention. How Splinter would wash his shell and pat his head and dry him off, just like he's doing now.

It occurs to Leo that he almost lost this forever, and its like his breath is taken away. He buries his face in the towel and tries to ride through it - he doesn't want to cry again.

Splinter must pick up on it, because suddenly he's sitting on the side of the tub, rubbing the top of Leo's shell. "It's okay, Blue. You're safe."

He's safe.

He really is safe, isn't he?

He lowers the towel and turns into his dad instead, wriggling his head into his lap. Splinter welcomes him, patting his head with one hand and the top of his shell with another. Leo's breath hitches and the tears break free.

"I know," says Splinter, and his voice is thick with emotion. Leo knows he can't look or he'll start sobbing. "I... was very scared for you, my son. I am so glad you're here, Leonardo. I love you very much."

"L-love you too," he warbles. His tears are falling fast, now, and Splinter takes the towel and dries them away every now and then.

By the time Leo sits up and rubs at his eyes, the towel is totally soaked through from being in the tub. Splinter moves away to grab him a fresh one, which Leo wraps himself up in.

"Leonardo," says Splinter hesitantly once he is out of the tub, "I know you may not want to talk about it right now. But I need to ask you this."

Leo wonders where this is going. He sits down on the toilet lid, looking at his dad. "Uh, okay."

Splinter looks him up and down before asking, "Did those men... hit you? Or touch you in any way?"

Oh. Leo shakes his head. "No. They didn't... I mean, they just put me in that room. They weren't, like... torturing me or anything."

He thought that would reassure his dad, but if anything Splinter only looks more sad.

"Not feeding you is torturing you," he says.

"Oh, well, yeah, I guess." Leo rubs the back of his head. "But I mean, they weren't... you know. Shocking me or whipping me or... putting me in that medieval stretchy thing from the movies."

"I see." His dad sighs, but nods. "Very well. I'm glad, at least, that you do not have any injuries."

Leo nods back. "Yeah, no, I'm all good." He tries to smile, but his smiles aren't really having the effect they usually do.

"Are you ready to go back?" asks Splinter, moving to the door. Leo nods again, standing up. "Are you still cold?"

Leo blinks in surprise, then realizes Splinter is referring to the towel he still has wrapped around himself. He's not really that cold anymore, but he grabs onto the convenient excuse, anyway.

"Uh, yeah." He grins sheepishly. "Actually, did you guys bring any of my clothes? I'm a little worried about the ride home."

"Ah." Splinter taps his chin. "I don't think we brought any of your things. Your brothers brought their hoodies, I believe, in case they needed to go in a store..." He reaches up and pats Leo's hand. "There is a gift shop in the motel lobby. I will send Purple and Orange in the morning - I'm sure they'd enjoy doing some shopping!"

"Thanks. I just need a sweatshirt or something. Maybe some pajama pants." He shrugs. "Gotta stay toasty, right?"

"That's right. No more turtle-cicles." Splinter reaches up and turns the doorknob, gesturing for Leo to lead the way.

Leo shuffles for the bed, keeping the towel tight around himself as he goes. He doesn't drop it until he's under the sheets again, safely tucked away.

Raph isn't back yet. The realization turns Leo's stomach. But Mikey barrels into bed next to him, cuddling up against one side, while Donnie scoots in on the other, tapping away at his phone, and Leo tries to forget about it.

He's sure that, as soon as he's better, Raph will be back to yell at him.

-----

Leo doesn't realize Draxum left until he comes back. He did doze off for a bit there, though, so it's not surprising.

Mikey was snoozing against Leo's arm, too, but when the door clicks shut he raises his head, blinking sleep out of his eyes. Donnie looks up from his phone. Splinter's asleep in the other bed, only grumbling incoherently at the noise before rolling over.

(Raph and April still haven't come back. It makes Leo's heart thud a little harder.)

"Hey Barry," says Mikey, voice still a little sleepy. He pushes himself up to sit against the pillows. "Find what you were looking for?"

"Yes." Draxum walks over to the bed, pulling a bottle out of a pharmacy bag. He twists the cap loose, then holds it out and says, "Leonardo, drink this."

Leo can't help the way his face screws up as he takes it, eyeing the label on the bottle. "Eugh. What is this?"

"Vegetable juice," Draxum informs him dryly.

"Gross." Leo does not bring the bottle any closer to his lips. "Can I have soda instead?"

"Absolutely not." Draxum's voice is stern. "No sugar or caffeine until I say otherwise."

The next several days are looking worse and worse. Leo grimaces. "Can I just drink water, then?"

"You can and should drink water. But you also need to steadily reintroduce your body to nutrients. The vegetable juice will help, until your stomach can handle more solid food at a time."

Leo groans, eyeing the bottle warily. Anything labeled "juice" should not be this color of red-orange.

"Draxum's just trying to help, Leo!" Mikey chimes in. "Besides, vegetable juice isn't that bad."

It's not the most reassuring endorsement, given that Mikey loves vegetables in a way Leo has never understood. But with his little brother cheering him on, he can't back down.

"Fine. Down the hatch," he mutters, then takes a swig. It tastes just as off-putting as he was imagining, and he shudders and smacks his lips. "Yuck."

"Sorry, Leo." Mikey pats his arm comfortingly. "As soon as Barry says it's okay, we'll get pizza!"

"Please don't remind me of pizza right now..."

"Here." Leo looks up to find Draxum is holding out a handful of crackers. "Eat these, too. Be sure you chew them thoroughly before you swallow. And keep drinking the juice."

Leo takes the crackers in his free hand, putting them in his lap on top of the sheets. There's only six, and they look boring even for crackers. but his stomach perks up with interest, reminding Leo that everything he put in it before got thrown up.

Leo thought he was going to be waiting until breakfast to eat again. The crackers ease that tension, relief he hadn't consciously realized he needed.

Still, can't let Draxum think Leo actually appreciates all his bullying, so Leo still makes a face as he holds up one of the crackers and examines it.

"And these are...?"

"Are you going to react like this to everything?" asks Draxum with a scoff. "They're whole wheat crackers. They'll settle your stomach, and you need food in you so can take these vitamins."

He pulls a bottle out of his bag and shakes it, filling the room with the sound of pills rattling around. Leo scrunches up his snout.

"You didn't get me the chewable kind? Or those fruit gummy ones?"

"Are you such a child you need your medicine in the form of candy?" Draxum rolls his eyes. "You will be just fine with the pills."

"Okay, okay!" Leo groans theatrically, leaning his head back. "I can't believe you guys are letting him take care of him. He'll be feeding me bugs and leaves next."

"Stop whining. No one wants to hear it this late."

"I actually like these crackers," says Donnie. "They're delightfully bland."

This statement is followed by a crunch.

The sound sends a shiver up Leo's shell, and he turns his head in time to see Donnie, one of Leo's crackers in his hand, a big bite taken out of it. He chews and swallows with a slight smile on his face, clearly unconcerned that he just took one of Leo's crackers.

Leo only had six crackers to start. Now there's five. He doesn't know when he gets any more. No one promised him breakfast. And now he only has five crackers, and not six. And he can feel the hunger coming back.

Donnie turns his head and they lock eyes. Leo has no idea what his own expression looks like, but Donnie's turns startled and then almost frightened. He's so shocked he drops the rest of the cracker into his own lap.

Leo just barely stops himself from snatching it back.

Because that would be weird. What he's doing right now is weird. Everyone is staring at him, the room has gone silent, he's acting like Donnie just committed an unforgivable sin when all he did was take a cracker, like the two of them haven't been casually taking each other's food their entire lives.

He's being weird. He needs to stop. He needs to go back to normal right now.

Five crackers can be enough. It's enough it's enough it's-

Leo forces his brain to restart, his face and posture to relax, his fingers to unclench. He schools his mouth into an unserious grin, glancing back at Draxum. "H-hey, so... how many crackers do I need to eat? Since Thief-atello just stole one."

"I'm sorry," Donnie blurts out, an extremely rare apology. "I wasn't thinking."

Leo waves a hand. "It's cool, man," he says.

"No," Donnie insists. "I shouldn't have done that, I don't know why I did that-"

Great, first he pisses off Raph and now Donnie's freaked out. Leo's family came all the way to Colorado to save him and all he's done since then is upset them.

"Dee," says Leo, and he knocks one shoulder against Donnie's. "Seriously. It's fine."

Because it is. They take food from each other all the time. Leo's the one who made it weird, not Donnie, even if he did take one of Leo's crackers.

Donnie looks at him, uncertain. He still hasn't touched the remaining cracker in his lap. Leo wishes he would finish eating it now, so it isn't tempting him.

"...Still. I won't do it again," says Donnie finally, looking down at his lap and wringing his hands. He looks miserable, and Leo hates that he caused this.

Before he can do or say anything more, Draxum gets Leo's attention by holding out a new cracker. "Here," he says, waiting until Leo takes it, before handing a few to the still shell-shocked Donnie. "Both of you can have crackers. Now don't squabble, you'll disturb the neighbors."

Donnie puts the crackers in his lap and doesn't touch them again. The air in the room is stifling. And Leo wants to eat his own crackers, but now it feels awkward.

"I think you should steal one of his to get him back," says Mikey in an exaggerated whisper, a gallant attempt to dispel the tension. It doesn't quite work, but it breaks the silence enough for Leo to force out a chuckle and pick up a cracker.

"Everyone eat what you've been given and settle down," says Draxum, going to sit on the other bed. Splinter mumbles in his sleep again and rolls over. Everyone relaxes a little more.

Leo bites into the cracker. It tastes like all of nothing, but it has a pleasant crunch between his teeth, and he finds that he likes it.

Next to him, Donnie hesitantly finishes off his own half-finished cracker. Then he half-heartedly eats the others. Leo drinks his vegetable juice, then swallows the pill Draxum gives him.

Mikey does his best to fill the room with happy chatter, and the mood lightens, little by little.

Everything's okay. He just can't do that again.

-----

Everyone but Draxum is asleep when Raph and April come back into the room, just a little before dawn. Splinter is splayed out across the bed closest to the door, while all three of his little brothers are curled around each other in the bed by the bathroom.

Raph and April spent a long time sitting by the barrier, talking intermittently between long spells of silence. Then they moved to the tank, taking a nap together on the bench seats.

April has her travel pillow and blanket now, and she takes both and spreads out at the foot of his brothers’ bed, wisely putting her head by Donnie, who sleeps still as the dead, and not Mikey, who has already moved several times since they walked in. She yawns and then conks out almost immediately, glasses held loosely in her hand against her chest.

Raph wishes he didn’t feel quite so wide awake.

Draxum is sitting in one of the chairs by the table, phone in hand. He has a notebook open and scribbles into it with a pen. Raph comes over and takes a peek: it’s all notes about nutrition, the vitamins that are most critically needed after a long term starvation event.

Draxum’s helping Leo. That makes Raph feel better, and he sinks into the other chair, leaning his head back.

“You should try to get some sleep,” says Draxum, voice low. “We’ll be leaving in a few hours.”

“Raph’s good,” he says, staying where he is.

He feels Draxum’s eyes on him, for a moment. “I’m taking watch. Go to sleep, Raphael.”

Raph hesitates, then gets up from the chair and goes to lay down next to his dad. Splinter grumbles in his sleep, but rolls over like he knows to make room for a son crawling into his bed.

From here Raph can see Leo’s face. It’s gaunt and washed out, and even with all the sleeping he’s done there are still dark circles under his eyes. He looks so fragile, and the anger burns in his chest again, that anyone could hurt him like this.

He’s safe now, though. Mikey has an arm curled around his plastron, and Donnie flanks his other side like a guard. He’s able to rest, and eat, and get better.

Raph remembers what April said. Give Leo time to heal, then talk about what happened in there. He can do that. He can be patient.

He hadn’t thought he would be able to sleep, but lying still, with his sleeping family all around him, safe and sound, puts him under in minutes.

-----

"Morning, Leo!"

Leo blinks awake, taking in his surroundings. The walls are beige, the bed is blue, there's a TV playing the morning news on low volume, there's sunlight shining through the window.

He can smell food.

"It's breakfast time!" says Mikey. He's standing next to the bed, holding a tray. Leo wriggles until he's sitting up against the pillows, grinning as he pats his lap.

"Thanks, Mikey."

"You're welcome!" Mikey gives Leo a thousand watt smile as he sets the tray down.

Leo wishes he could feel as enthusiastic as his little brother as he gets a look at his breakfast. There's a large cup of white yogurt, and a little plate of scrambled eggs that don't even look like they have pepper on them. He's glad he has food, he just wishes it was something more exciting.

He lifts his eyes and takes a look around the room. Donnie is in one of the chairs by the table, tapping away on his phone. April is in the other chair, and she smiles and gives him a little wave when he meets her eyes. His dad is in the other bed, munching on what looks like a muffin and watching the news. He doesn't see Raph, but he hears the shower running.

Draxum is standing by the doorway, watching Leo. When their gazes meet, he sighs, rubbing the furrow on his forehead.

"Are you going to ask me what you're eating again?"

"Yes!" Leo points at the cup of yogurt. "What is this!? It's not even fruit flavored!"

"It's Greek yogurt. You can have fruit when your stomach is more settled."

"Ugh..." Leo sighs, grabbing the plastic spoon off his tray and scooping up a tiny bite of yogurt. It's not terrible, but without any fruit it's not very exciting.

"Hey, look at the bright side," says Mikey, holding out a plastic cup. "You get apple juice this morning! Since it had no sugar added, Draxum said it's okay!"

Leo musters up a smile. "Well, it's better than vegetable juice..."

"Don't get too excited," says Draxum dryly. "You'll be drinking more on the drive home."

"You're such a buzzkill, Drax," Leo huffs, taking a bite of his eggs now. They're unseasoned, but they're something. And there's the part of him that is just happy to have any food, simmering under the surface and demanding he eat faster. To keep himself from cramming the whole of the plate in his mouth at once, he turns to Mikey. "Hey, sneak me a muffin. Blueberry or chocolate chip."

Mikey grimaces. "I don't think Barry wants me to do that..."

Leo pouts, chewing his eggs slowly. "Who are you going to listen to, him or me?"

"He'll listen to me," says Draxum sternly. "If you're still hungry after that, you can have some more crackers."

Leo sighs, but part of him feels better knowing the crackers are still on the table. He crams more eggs in his mouth and chews as sulkily as possible.

There's an Old Navy ad playing on TV. Splinter sits up straighter in bed when he sees it, getting muffin crumbs everywhere. "Ah, that reminds me! Blue wanted some warm clothes to wear on the ride home." Splinter reaches out and pats Mikey on the arm. "Orange, Purple - why don't the two of you go to the gift shop and do some shopping? You can get a souvenir for yourselves as well."

"Oooh, yes!" Mikey bounces excitedly in place. "Dibs on picking out Leo's clothes!"

"Gasp!" Donnie stands up, pointing at him dramatically. "You know I'm the fashionable one in this family! Leo, tell him you want me to pick out your clothes for our return trip!"

"Mmm, I dunno..." Leo grins up at his little brother, giving him a wink. "I think Angelo's got this."

Donnie makes a noise of utter betrayal while Mikey cheers and stoops to give Leo a hug. "I won't let you down, Leon!" he promises, giving Leo a big smooch on the top of his head.

"I know you won't."

"Fine then! I'll just have to make you all jealous with my own selections." Donnie looks down. "April, do you want to join us?"

"Yeah, sure." April stands up, stretching her arms above her head. "Maybe I'll get a keychain or something."

The three of them file out of the room, Donnie and Mikey still arguing animatedly. Draxum takes one of the abandoned chairs, and Splinter goes back to watching the news.

Leo continues eating his bland breakfast, and tries not to spend too much time wondering when his next meal will be. At least he's been promised crackers.

-----

Raph comes out of the bathroom about ten minutes later, just as Leo's finishing up his breakfast with a few crackers. He nearly jumps when their eyes meet.

"Oh, hey, Leo," he says, voice a forced cheerful. "You're awake! That's great!"

"Yeah," says Leo back, trying not to sound too awkward and failing. He holds up his empty cup. "Just finished breakfast."

"O-oh, yeah. Was it... good?"

Leo grimaces. "Not really."

"Oh." Raph hovers in the doorway, practically vibrating with nervous energy. Leo wonders if he should apologize, but he still doesn't know what he's apologizing for, so he doesn't.

He'd know if Raph would just go ahead and yell at him, but Raph doesn't seem eager to start. Maybe he doesn't think Leo is healed up enough yet, or maybe he doesn't want to do it in front of Splinter. Either way, no yelling seems forthcoming.

Instead, Raph says, "Uh, where's everyone else?"

"Shopping for clothes for Blue and for souvenirs for themselves," Splinter answers.

"Oh, cool. Maybe... maybe I'll go join 'em!"

Raph pats Leo on the head as he goes by, then leaves the room like it's on fire. Leo is silent; he has no idea what to say or do.

He's out of food now, too. He's already asked Draxum for crackers once, and he's not sure if asking again will actually gain him anything. And with Mikey gone, he feels too anxious to try.

He settles back on his pillows and turns his eyes to the TV, lifting the plastic spoon in his hands. He slots the handle between his teeth and chews, relaxing at the feel of it. It's sturdier than the water bottles, so he can't flatten it down as easily, but the way he can munch on it endlessly has its own appeal.

The news drones on. His dad laughs at something the anchors say. Draxum scribbles away at a notebook. And Leo leans back on his pillows and chews on the spoon.

On the ticker at the bottom of the screen, he notices the tail end of a news item about a training accident at a military facility in Colorado Springs - one injured.

-----

The outfit Mikey has picked out is a sky blue hoodie with "PIKE'S PEAK" in big block letters and darker blue plaid sweatpants. They meet Leo's standards for softness and comfiness, if not quite his standards for style. It's fine, because he's after the former right now.

"Did I do good?" Mikey asks, bouncing on his toes.

"You did great," Leo responds, motioning him closer so he can rub his head affectionately. It lacks his usual punch, but Mikey laughs and wiggles away anyway.

"We also got," Mikey rummages around in the gift store bag, then pulls out, "matching fuzzy socks!"

The socks are in their signature colors and have snowboarders on them, and each set has a terrible pun like, "SNOW RULES!" and "COOLER THAN COOL!" Leo loves them immediately.

"I think this is the best gift you've ever gotten me," says Leo sincerely. Mikey beams and comes in for a hug that Leo gladly returns.

"Here, put 'em on!" says Mikey after he backs away, nodding at the hoodie and pants on the bed. "You don't want to be cold, right?"

"Right," says Leo, lifting the hoodie in his arms. A quick glance around the room shows that they're all looking at him now - Mikey, Donnie, and April by the bed, Splinter from the other bed, Draxum at the table, Raph hovering in the doorway. Waiting for him to put the clothes on.

He wishes they wouldn't.

It's weird. He's never felt self-conscious like this. He and his brothers have never really practiced modesty the way humans do, especially around each other. And yet the idea of standing in front of them now with no clothes, not even his mask, makes him feel strangely queasy.

He tries to tell himself it's because of how he looks now. Stick thin arms and legs, weird, unhealthy skin tone, dark circles under his eyes that a few hours of unconsciousness and one night of intermittent sleep have definitely not erased. That it's just his normal vanity.

But he can still feel it: that guard's eyes on him, any time he left the safety of his hiding spot under his cot.

He pulls the hoodie on over his head while he's still in bed. Then he crawls out of bed and pulls the pants on as fast as he can.

He looks around to see if anyone noticed, but their expressions haven't changed. Mikey gives him a thumbs up.

He relaxes. With the clothes on, the feeling of being exposed finally ebbs away. And it is warmer like this, which is a plus.

It's okay. In a day or two, he'll be over this weird self-consciousness and back to normal, and no one has to know about it.

"Well, how do I look?" he asks, grinning and turning in a circle. Mikey and April clap indulgently for him.

"Lookin' good, Leo," says April, and he gives her a wink.

"Well, even though you chose to forego my aesthetic sensibilities, I got you something, too," says Donnie, pushing his way forward. He holds out a pair of flipflops, which say "We're in" and "CO" on the toes and have cartoon giraffes on the heels. Leo can't help but grin when he sees them. "Trust me, you'll want these if we have to go into any gas station restrooms. Shudder."

Leo laughs, then reaches out an arm to pull Donnie into a hug before he can escape. To his surprise, Donnie doesn't even put up a token fight against it, hugging him back more fiercely than usual.

"Thanks, I love them," he says into Donnie's ear.

"Of course you do," says Donnie smugly, but his eyes are suspiciously shiny when he breaks the hug. Nothing feels awkward between them now, even given the cracker incident earlier, and Leo is glad.

“Okay!” says April, clapping her hands. “Checkout’s in thirty minutes - if you have anything else to do, do it now.”

“Wait,” says Leo, looking around. “Where’s my mask?” It’d be nice for hiding the dark circles.

“Oh, I think Raph grabbed it,” says April, but when she turns, Raph is gone. April presses her fingers to her forehead and sighs. “Okay, you can get it later.”

Leo’s mouth suddenly feels dry. He reaches around and grabs a bottle of vegetable juice Draxum gave him, draining the last of it.

“Checkout in twenty eight minutes,” says Donnie to cut the awkwardness. “Let’s go, people!”

Leo sits on the bed and watches his family prepare to leave, gnawing on the top of his juice bottle.

-----

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” calls a voice, and Leo blinks awake to see April standing over his cot. No, not the cot - this is the bench seat in the tank. If he’s going to be sleeping so much, he needs to stop waking up confused.

And he has been sleeping a lot. The only time they woke him up was to eat another snack of crackers with a little bit of mushed up banana, like he’s some kind of baby.

The banana did help break up the monotony, though.

Leo can’t help but hope he’s being woken up for food again.

Like she read his mind, April grins and holds out a hand to help him up. “Lunch time!” she announces.

“Oh boy,” says Leo, taking the hand and slowly getting to his feet. He’s stiff from lying in the tank for so long, and he stretches and pops his arms. “More flavorless mush.”

“Maybe we can convince Drax to give you a little salt this time,” says April with a snicker. She waits for him to slip the flipflops on, then leads him out of the tank.

It occurs to him that this is the first time he’s really been out in the sun in over a week, excluding times he’s been unconscious and the short walk from the motel room to the tank. He takes a minute to just lean his face back and feel the warmth of it on his skin. It hasn’t even been that long, and he’s used to life underground, but somehow it feels different this time, foreign and new and sweet.

When he looks back at April, she’s tearing up again. She quickly wipes at the bottoms of her eyes and pulls on a smile, linking her arm around his.

“Come on. We can grab a picnic table and sit outside.”

It's then that Leo actually takes in where they are: a big travel center, or that's what the sign on the building declare. The tank is parked at the gas pumps, and Donnie, with his hood up, is excitedly talking about it to some interested truckers who have come over. He spots Mikey over at the grassy space for dog walking, laughing while a puppy licks his face, a seemingly annoyed Draxum standing off to the side with his arms folded. He doesn't see Raph or Splinter, but April fills him in as they cross the parking lot.

"Raph and Splints are inside ordering food. They have a whole diner in there!"

"Let me guess: I'm eating soup."

"I think it's potato."

"Well, at least it's not more tomato." Leo makes a face. "If I have to drink any more vegetable juice I'm going to turn red and swell up into a ball."

"You know what pizza sauce is made out of, right?" she asks, playfully bumping into him.

"Actually, I don't," he says smoothly, bumping into her back. They fake tussle outside the door for a moment, until both of them are laughing.

Someone trying to get past clears their throat loudly, and April and Leo shoot them an apologetic look before going on inside. Leo visits the restroom and tries not to look too long at the arrays of snacks on offer. April goes to help Raph and his dad with the food.

They all end up back outside at a large picnic table. His family has a mix of foods: burgers, hot dogs, salads, chicken strips. He knows there was pizza inside, and it touches him that no one picked it.

Next to everyone else's large, full plates, his own bowl of soup feels ridiculously small and sad. But he doubts any amount of pouting will convince Draxum to let him have a burger, so he digs in. At least this has some flavor.

Lunch is nice, even if Raph is still acting weird and distant. It’s just good being in the sun and the fresh air. Leo is reluctant to leave as they finish up.

“Come with me!” says Mikey as the others go to throw their trash away and buy anything they need for the return trip. He holds out his hand, and Leo takes it and follows Mikey back toward the grassy area at the edge of the parking lot. They make sure there are no dog droppings, then lay down in the grass, looking up at the blue sky and the clouds going overhead.

“I thought it’d be nice to get a little more sun before we have to get back in the tank,” says Mikey, limbs splayed out in every direction. He’s taken off his hoodie - no one at the travel center has paid much attention to the peeks of green skin they’ve been showing off, and no one is nearby right now, anyway.

It is a little hot. But the idea of being shirtless where a stranger can see him keeps Leo fully swaddled.

He pushes that thought aside, closing his eyes and just trying to enjoy the feeling of the sun on his skin, the breeze blowing by, the grass under his fingers. He doesn’t get to touch a lot of grass in the city, but it reminds him of times they would sneak out to Central Park.

“This is really nice, Angelo,” he says. “Thanks.”

“Mmhmmm.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, just laying there, with only the ambient sounds of the travel center keeping them company. Leo starts to feel like he might doze off again.

“…Hey Leo?”

Leo blinks his eyes open, craning his neck to see Mikey. “Yeah?”

“Are you… okay?”

Ah. Maybe he should have expected this.

“Of course I’m okay,” he says, voice nonchalant. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Uh, well…” Mikey hesitantly trails off, clearly trying to decide what he wants to say.

Leo takes care of it for him. “It’s over, Mikey. You guys saved me. I’m okay.” He turns his head and grins. “And once Draxum stops being the food police, everything will be back to normal.”

“Mmm…” Mikey doesn’t sound as convinced as he should. Man, Leo’s smiles are really failing him lately. “But… if something’s bothering you… You’ll tell us, right?”

Leo pats his head. “Of course I will.”

If it’s worth bringing up to them, anyway.

Mikey’s eyes rove his face for a moment, but in the end he must be satisfied, because he smiles and rolls to toss his arm over Leo’s chest. “Okay. But I’ll hold you to that.”

“Or what, I’ll get a visit from the doctor?”

“You know it!”

Leo laughs, which gets Mikey laughing. They stay there until Raph calls their names across the parking lot, and they go back to the tank.

-----

He manages to stay awake after they stop for lunch, curled up on the bench seat. He doesn’t have the energy to talk as much as normal, but he leans against Donnie and contributes where he can. He’s just happy to be back with them, hearing and seeing them all around him.

But there’s something always at the back of his mind keeping him from fully relaxing: he doesn’t know when he gets to eat next. And he knows it will be okay - he’s with his family, and they’d never let him go hungry. He knows that, but about two and a half hours after lunch, he keeps finding himself returning to the same thought.

He’s drinking on a sugar-free Gatorade they got him at the travel center; one of the only non-vegetable or fruit drinks Draxum approved. Mikey has just finished up a story from one of the many art vlogs he watches, and, in the lag of conversation, he tries to broach the subject casually.

“Sooo… what’s our plan for the rest of the drive? Are we stopping, or…?”

“We’re going to try to make it all the way back to New York,” says April. “We already have our shifts picked out, and the autopilot is helping.”

“We can stop in a few more hours for another bathroom break,” says Donnie, pulling up a holoscreen showing their route and the drive time remaining. “Unless someone needs us to stop sooner.” He glances at Leo, and the way he’s bouncing the rim of the bottle off his teeth.

“Oh, uh, I’m good,” he says quickly, lowering the bottle. "I'm just wondering, uh... what about stopping for dinner?"

His family does about as good a job being subtle about looking at each other as he's being subtle about his worry. "We were thinking we'd probably try to find something around seven," says Donnie.

Seven. It's a little after three now. Okay. He can wait that long. What's four hours? And at least he knows what to expect now.

His family hesitantly return to their conversation. And Leo does his best to pay attention. April is telling them about all the stuff she's been doing to prepare for college in the fall, how she's already chatting with people running the student paper. She's excited about it, and Leo is excited for her.

"Ew, Leo," says Donnie suddenly, tearing him out of his thoughts. "Why are you doing that?"

Leo looks over at him in confusion. He starts to ask, Doing what?, but when he opens his mouth to speak, something falls out of his teeth and into his lap.

It's the Gatorade bottle cap, chewed down flat. Leo can see the marks from where his molars snapped through the lip, and the dents where he's been gnawing at it with his incisors.

He didn't even know he was doing that.

Everyone saw him doing that.

Embarrassment flushes through him, and he scrambles to grab the lid and toss it into their communal trash sack. Maybe no one noticed how thoroughly he had chewed on it.

"Gross," says Donnie, his nose scrunched up. So at the very least he saw. "You don't know where that's been."

"Oh please, it's not that gross," says Leo, doing his best to keep his voice light and airy. "It's just a bottle cap."

"That other people have touched and that you put into your mouth."

"Don't knock it till you try it, bro."

"I'm good not trying it."

"Your loss," says Leo with a shrug. He leans back, cool and calm and collected and not a total weirdo who gnaws on plastic like it's candy. "Stop looking at me like that, I threw it away already."

Donnie stops looking at him, literally. Things feel tense again. Leo doesn’t know how he keeps managing that.

Mikey jumps up, walking to the front of the tank, where Draxum is asleep in one of the chairs. Mikey shakes him awake, smiling in the face of his annoyed grumbling.

“Hey, Barry, is it okay if Leo has a snack?”

“Why do you have to ask him?” calls Leo, folding his arms. “Besides, I’m fine!”

His protests go ignored. “What time is it?” asks Draxum, sitting up and smoothing down his robes.

“I’m fine!” insists Leo, louder.

“It’s three fifteen,” Mikey says.

“Mm… Yes, he can have a snack.” Draxum gets up, going over to their snack cooler. “Leonardo, do you want crackers or more banana?”

“I’m fine!” Leo tries one more time, but his stomach flips when it occurs to him that he may actually not get a snack if he insists, and he wants the snack.

He sighs, sinking back in his seat, and says, “Crackers.” He wants the crunch of eating them.

Draxum brings him his crackers. There’s only four. He’s not sure why he’s getting less this time. Maybe because he was caught chewing on the lid.

He doesn’t ask. He eats what he’s been given, and then decides the best thing for everyone would be if he took another nap.

-----

Raph would have driven them all the way to New York if he’d been allowed. But they insist on having him swap with Donnie, and he ends up sitting in the back on the benches with because the other front chairs are hard for him to fit in.

Leo is asleep. He’s been sleeping a lot, but that’s to be expected. His body barely has any energy, and going by the dark circles, Raph knows he didn’t get much sleep while he was…

When Leo is awake, his family are their lively selves, chatting and laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Once he goes to sleep, everyone quiets down, Donnie dims the lights in the cab, and a weird melancholy sets in.

Leo looks terrible. They haven’t talked about it, but they all know it. Raph is shocked Leo has even been able to walk on his own, but Draxum attributes that to their reinforced mutant biology. He’s swimming in a hoodie that is his size, his hands and feet are skeletal where they poke out of his clothes. Raph wonders how long it will take for him to start filling out again, to have muscle like he did before. He’s afraid to ask.

Splinter sits with Leo’s head in his lap, rubbing his shell any time he shifts in his sleep. Mikey curls up against Raph and sniffles, and Raph pulls him closer.

He has to keep reminding himself that Leo is here, and safe. He just ate a snack, and soon they’ll get another meal in him. Just give it a week or two, and they’ll have their brother back.

And then, he’ll make sure Leo knows he never has to sacrifice himself again.

-----

Home looks just like Leo remembered it, and feels totally foreign at the same time.

His family clap for him as he walks in, and he does a little bow, which is a poor decision because it leaves him feeling lightheaded after. Luckily Raph is there to catch him and carry him from the garage to the chair in the living room. Things are still weird between them, but at least Raph isn't totally avoiding him.

(Raph still hasn't yelled at him. He wishes they could just get it over with.)

They eat lunch, with Leo getting bland soup and crackers again. Draxum notes that he could have peanut butter if they could have it in the lair, which makes Raph look pointlessly guilty, so Leo changes the subject. After lunch, April gives him a big hug and tells him she'll see him soon, but she has to go back home before her mom gets too worried. Leo feels bad when he learns she's missed several days of class now, but she just laughs and pats his head.

"I'm a senior and it's May, Leo; that I show up at all is enough for them."

Everyone's tired from being on the road for over twenty four hours, so after April leaves they unanimously agree on a movie marathon/turtle pile in the living room. His brothers drag out their comfiest pillows and blankets and set up in the floor, while Splinter cuddles up with Leo in his recliner. Draxum actually stays, to everyone's surprise, and Mikey jumps at the opportunity to introduce him to the magic of Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim.

Leo drifts in and out the whole evening. He'll be awake for the whole first act of a movie, then blink and suddenly they're partway through a different film. Each time he wakes his dad is there, patting his hand and saying, "Hello, Blue," and his brothers are around him, quoting their favorite lines or jumping up to act along with their favorite parts. It's normal and it's familiar and it's warm and soft.

He eats more soup for dinner, and crackers and banana and a little pudding cup, as a treat. His family gets more sleepy as evening turns to night; his dad's snoring fills the room, and Draxum finally leaves to go to his apartment. His brothers settle in and fall asleep around the middle of Jupiter Jim's Last Trip to the Moon 17, curled up in a heap at the foot of the chair.

He's home.

He's really home.

It's over.

Leo buries his face in his dad's fur and lets that thought carry him to sleep.

-----

Leo's home and it's amazing.

Raph wishes that meant everything was back to normal.

He doesn't know how to be around Leo right now. Every time he looks at him, he sees the stick thin arms and the gaunt face and he hears Leo's voice saying, That's not what a hero would do, and he doesn't know what to say anymore. What if he accidentally says something that makes Leo feel like what happened to him was right? What if he accidentally makes Leo think he should do it again?

It's only been a day, he tries to tell himself. Leo's still spending most of his time sleeping, between his regular snacks and meals. Even when he's awake, he doesn't have much energy for conversation, seeming content to just sit and listen to everyone else. It's just not the right time. It'll get better once Leo is better.

He can wait until then.

It's the afternoon now, the day after they brought Leo home. Raph just finished his workout and is making his rounds to check on everyone, just to make sure that everyone is... well, just to make sure. Splinter is in the kitchen making tea, a kind with no caffeine or sugar, as per Draxum's instructions. Mikey and Leo are in the living room, a half-asleep Leo watching Mikey play video games on the projecter.

Donnie isn't there.

His heart lurches, no matter how much he tells himself it's okay. Donnie is fine, Donnie is home, Donnie hasn't gone missing, not right after they got Leo back.

(He'd tried to tell himself Leo was fine in the beginning, too.)

He checks their rooms first, but Donnie's is empty. Then it's up to the lab, where he finds the door closed.

He knocks, and a robotic voice asks for identification. He sighs, not wanting to play this game right now.

"Donnie, it's me. You better be in there..."

The door beeps and then slides up, revealing a dimly lit lab. At first, Raph thinks he must not be here, and he's about to turn to leave, but then he hears a noise from Donnie's big computer desk.

A sniffle.

His big brother senses shifting into hyperdrive, he speed-walks over. The door slides shut behind him with a mechanical whir.

Sure enough, Donnie is there, legs pulled up into his desk chair, face buried in his knees. His goggles are off and laying on the desk, and his computer monitor shows a video, frozen on...

A white room, almost empty, save the cot that is for some reason propped up in front of the toilet, and...

Donnie sniffles again, and Raph tears his eyes away from one little brother to the other.

"Donnie...? What is this?"

Donnie sniffs and sits up a little more, rubbing under his eyes where tear tracks are already drying. "It's the surveillance video from the EPF base."

Raph gathered that much. "Why... are you watching it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Donnie looks up at him. "I wanted to see what they did to him."

"You couldn't just ask him?"

Donnie's drawn on eyebrows go down. "I don't know, do you want to ask him?"

Raph imagines trying to ask Leo questions like that and can't help but cringe. "Okay, no. Raph doesn't want to do that."

"Exactly." Donnie gestures at the screen. "I got this footage from the base. And I erased it permanently from their systems, for the record, and destroyed the hard drives to be sure. But I kept a copy for us. I thought, if Leo wasn't in a state to... well, just in case. We might need it for medical reasons."

"But we know what's wrong with him," Raph points out.

"Do we?"

"Uh, yeah." Raph nods. "Starvation... right?"

"Well, yes." Donnie drums his fingers on the table. "But... he's different, now. He's pretending he's not, and he's doing his normal Leo thing of joking and smiling, but... he is." Donnie scowls. "And I already asked Michael to confirm my suspicions, and he said so, too, so I know this isn't me overreacting!"

"Okay, okay!" Raph holds up his hands placatingly. "So you wanted to watch the footage to see what happened. What'd you find out?"

Donnie wilts, resting his chin on his knees. "I couldn't get further than the first twenty four hours."

Raph feels a foreboding chill run over his spine. "You couldn't... or you didn't want to?"

Donnie reaches over and presses a button. The footage shifts to a different angle, so now he can see the wall Leo was curled up against. Donnie runs the footage back at a fast speed, and Raph watches as Leo gets up a few times, disappearing into the blind spot of the camera, or going to grab water from a little slot by the door, until Donnie freezes on a new scene: the wall opening up to reveal a large window.

He leans forward, putting his hands on the desk. "Raph saw that - they were watching his cell through that."

"Yes. And he would sit in that spot," Donnie runs the footage forward a bit, to where Leo is sitting against the now white wall, "because it's in a blind spot to the window."

Raph grimaces. "He didn't want them watching him."

"But it didn't matter," says Donnie, and he reaches over and taps the button to go to a new angle... and again... and again. "They have every inch of the room covered."

Raph's heart sinks. "Does he know?"

"Leo's not dumb," says Donnie, a magnanimous statement coming from him. "He knew they had to be watching him with cameras."

"But he still tried to hide..."

"He was doing whatever he had to to feel better," concludes Donnie.

Raph sighs. "I wonder if it worked."

Donnie clicks another button, and the video player closes. He swivels his chair to face Raph, his eyes shiny again.

"I don't want to watch anymore," he admits.

Raph nods. "I wouldn't want to, either."

"No, I mean... because he was trying to hide." Donnie rubs at his eyes again. "Maybe it is a little ironic for me to be saying this, but... it feels like it would be a privacy violation."

Raph turns that over. Maybe knowing what happened to Leo could help them. But what Donnie is saying feels more important.

He puts his hand on Donnie's shoulder, the part that's bare past his battleshell, and gives it a rub. "You love him and you don't want to hurt him," he concludes.

Donnie sniffles again, and then uncurls himself, putting his legs down on the ground. He doesn't have to do more than that for Raph to catch on, and Raph scoops Donnie up into a hug that is quickly returned.

"...I keep hurting him," Donnie admits, resting his head on Raph's shoulder. "I don't know how, but it keeps happening."

"...Yeah, well, join the club," says Raph sadly. He pats at Donnie's back. "Raph can't seem to say the right thing, either."

Donnie laughs miserably. "I thought getting him back would be the hard part. And then everything would go back to normal."

"Yeah..." Raph gives him a tight squeeze. "But you know what April said?"

"What?"

"That we'll do the hard part, 'cause we love him."

"Well, April is the only other smart one in this family," says Donnie, and Raph gives him a noogie with no actual pressure.

"Everything will be okay," he says. "Raph promises."

That seems to calm Donnie down. Raph just hopes he can actually keep it.

-----

It's his first night back in his room, and for the first time since escaping, Leo can't sleep.

He doesn't know why he can't. The sheets are the same as always. The dim lights from outside his subway car filter in through the windows the same as they used to. He's wearing his favorite pajamas, which have pants and long sleeves. The temperature is warm but not too hot. Conditions are perfect.

But he can't sleep.

At first he thought maybe it's because he's alone for the first time, but he doesn't think it's that. In fact, the idea of going to one of his brothers or his dad makes him feel even more exhausted. He loves them and he loves being around them, but he's had to work hard all day to not seem too weird. He caught himself chewing his spoon at lunch and had to stop. He paced the kitchen until Draxum gave the okay for him to have a snack. Mikey poked his head in while he was changing shirts earlier and he froze up, deer in the headlights. In the end, he went to the bathroom to change, because at least there aren't windows in there.

He's being weird, and trying to not be weird is taking all his energy.

So no. He's okay being alone right now. But something is still bothering him.

It's not the bed; he slept in the motel just fine. It's not the temperature, because they're making sure the lair stays nice and warm for him. And it's not the clothes, because the clothes are covering him up. And it's not the windows because it's not even like anyone is looking through them.

Right?

It's only then that Leo realizes he keeps staring out of them.

He tears his eyes away to look at the ceiling, taking deep breaths. What is he worried about? So what if the train car is full of windows? Who would even be looking at him? It's just his family outside, and if they need to talk to him they'll come in.

Besides, the windows are see-through. If someone were looking at him, he'd be able to see them.

Just to reassure himself of that, Leo looks around at all the windows again.

Yep. Still see-through. So it's fine. It's really not a big deal! No one is going to look through the windows at him here. No one is watching him. He's safe, and if he weren't, he would know, because he can see.

...Maybe he could hide under his bed.

Leo gives his head a hard shake. No. He is not going to hide under his bed, because that would be weird, and Leonardo Hamato is not weird.

Maybe he can just... put up some curtains in his room. Just, purely for aesthetic reasons. Yeah, that would look really cool. He could get some blue ones with some kind of sick design. Add some real originality to this place.

And then he could cover the windows and no one could look in unless he wanted them to.

Not that anyone is looking in, because he's home and he's safe and he's okay and he really wants to hide under his bed-

He takes deep breaths. His eyes land on the posters on the wall of the train car.

Maybe... maybe they would look better over the windows. Just... aesthetically.

He moves the posters to the windows of the train car, pressing hard to get the old tape to stick. It covers the immediate windows around his bed, but there are still others, and they're more in the dark, so Leo can't see who might be out there.

Not that anyone would be.

But if someone were, he wouldn't be able to know.

So he grabs towels next, and t-shirts, and anything he has lying around his room, and puts them on the bed. Then he sneaks to the kitchen to find a roll of masking tape.

It's not easy, but after about an hour he's managed to cover every window in the train car with something.

Just... a preview. For how sweet the curtains are going to look. And not for any weird reasons, like being scared.

Because he's not scared. He's home, and he's safe, and no one is watching him from outside the windows.

He lays down in bed and surveys his handwork. The room is even darker now, with every window covered, completely different from the stark ever-present light in that place.

It makes him feel safe and hidden.

No one can look in, and he's shielded by the dark.

(He has no idea how he's going to explain this tomorrow.)

But when he finally shuts his eyes, he sleeps like a baby.

-----

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (here) | Part 4 (not yet out)

#rottmnt #dandy fanfiction #room fic #rise leo #rise raph #rise splinter #rise donnie #rise mikey #rise april #baron draxum #cw internalized ableism #cw vomit

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hotpinkstars · 2 days

Note

I am not sure but have we seen how Boothill and his s/o actually got engaged?

How did the guy propose. Oh I can see him ugly crying out of happiness when the s/o said yes >:)

PROPOSAL - boothill x reader

- boothill proposes to you.

- @xonavia knows how much i LOVE this man ....... OMG. i dream about this when i go to bed i have the PERFECT scenario in mind!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for this ily anon enjoy!

- this can either be pre cyborg or current boothill, pure fluff, little bit of angst if you squint (only in the beginning) wc 524

Honestly, Boothills proposal was probably a ton of planning and milestones on his part.

He went through like all five phases of grief, but with super different emotions. First was insecurity, (what if he’s not good enough to be your husband?) then fear, (what if you say no??) then more insecurity, then excitement, then fear again. He thinks about it so much that a few days before he’s going to, he’s almost afraid to even look your way.

He takes you somewhere really nice the day of. It was a bit away from your home, and he left you confused the whole way there, but nonetheless, the spot he took you to was absolutely gorgeous.

“We’re here!” he said, holding his arm out to show you what scenery to take in. You were already mesmerized by where you were, and getting to spend it with your (soon to be) fiance. You shared a meal and sat and talked, sitting on the cliffside, watching the waves of the ocean bounce over the rocks beneath and the way the sun set over the horizon.

It was then where he went a little bit more silent, slightly shaking. You questioned him, but he brushed you off a couple times and went back to talking about something else, or pointing out something in the sky or the sea below.

He gets up at one point, telling you to close your eyes. You can hear him moving around, the sound of pockets rustling and him breathing filled your ears as the scent of saltwater filled your nose. You heard a joint crack before he tapped you on the shoulder and told you to stand up.

You did, and turned around. He was on one knee, his eyes already watering, mirroring yours. You cover your mouth with your hands before your eyes welled up with happy tears, nodding for him to go along with his speech.

“Y/n, ever since we first met, I knew ya’ were the one f’me,” he said, taking a deep breath in. “I was ecstatic when y’ told me y’ wanted to be with me. I felt like a piece o’me was completed. And I want that piece to be completed forever. So, would you gimme’ the honor of bein’ the luckiest man in the whole wide world, n’ marry me?”

You shook your head while crying, tears continuously flowing out of your eyes. You were overwhelmed with happiness, and you made sure you let him know that as you tackled him to the ground in a hug, still crying in his shoulder. At this point, he was crying too, relieved that you said yes and happy that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together.

You both stayed like that for a while, giving each other occasional kisses as you both sat up. He grabbed the ring once more, taking it out of the box and carefully sliding it on your ring finger, where it fit perfectly. You held your hand out, admiring the jewel, crying once more before giving the man a passionate kiss on the lips, wrapping your arms around his neck.

#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #boothill #boothill x reader #fluff #boothill fluff #honkai star rail fluff #x reader #x reader fluff

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emocheol · 3 days

Text

taking pictures

finding out about your boyfriends sweet secret

contains: vernon x gn!reader, fluff, reader eating, established relationship

a/n: mostly based on vn telling sk that he looks at him more than he thinks, loosely based on taking pictures of you by the kooks (i just love that song)

“that’s going in the scrapbook,” vernon says casually, phone in hand as he shakes his head over a photo he just took.

his words snap you out of your one track demolishing-this-plate-of-food mind and you drop your fork with a groan. you try to reach over the table and snatch his phone while simultaneously using your other hand to wipe your mouth to prevent embarrassing yourself any further.

“you better delete that!” you threatened, though vernon didn’t take it as a threat as he continued to laugh and shake his head.

“give the phone to me right now!” you tried to sound intimidating and it only made him laugh even harder.

“babe, you look so good! so in love… with that plate of food,” he teases, clearing his throat as he looks at the picture again, “like damn you’re tearing that shit up,” he continues, knowing how to tease you just the right amount.

“hansol vernon chwe, delete that picture now!” you muster your best ‘i’m upset with you voice’, though you can’t seem to make it too hard hitting since you find it endearing when he laughs so much over something.

he slipped his phone into his back pocket and gave an exaggerated gasp, “my full name? low blow, babe,” he said, feigning disappointment.

“how come you only take embarrassing pictures of me?” you sighed, going back to eating as you knew you wouldn’t be able to snatch his phone now.

“not true, i have a whole album of the prettiest photos of you,” he said casually, as if it was common knowledge.

you looked at him with a raised eyebrow, not believing him for a second since you only ever caught him taking, what you thought were, horrible pictures of you.

“show it to me,” you motioned, holding your palm out for his phone.

he shrugged at this and dropped his phone in your hand after he opened his photos and clicked on the album titled ‘mine’.

“don’t delete anything, please,” he said in complete seriousness, those really were his favorite pictures of you.

you nodded in agreement, you wanted to see this alleged album more than anything so you wouldn’t be taking any chances at him snatching the phone back.

you took his phone and saw that the album had over 500 photos of you in it. some posed, some where you’re looking at the camera, some where you’re smiling at the person behind the camera, but most were completely candid.

most pictures in that album you had no knowledge of. you had no idea that he took so many photos, especially photos of you.

“when do you even take these? i never notice you taking photos of me like this,” you said slowly, scrolling through the photos.

“c’mon, babe, i look at you more often than you think. you’re so beautiful i have to take a picture to savor the memory,” he said casually, as if it wasn’t the most romantic thing you’d heard. and he decided to drop that information on you at a random fast food lunch stop.

you looked at him and jutted your lip out, your eyes slowly getting glassy.

“don’t you dare cry on me,” he said quickly, knowing the signs all too well, “there’s nothing to cry about.”

“i won’t,” you sniffled, your lip still quivering.

you both paused for a second before he spoke up again.

“yeah you will,” he stated, a slow nod of acceptance.

“yeah i will,” you echoed with a nod, standing up from your seat and sitting down next to vernon instead of across from him.

you loosely hugged your arms around his midsection while you fought tears. while he had no idea what was going on, he held you with a look of confusion on his face, wondering if the photos really upset you that much.

“it’s just some photos, baby, you want me to delete them? i will if it upsets you.” he said quickly, wanting to do everything he could to make you feel better.

“these are tears of happiness, nonie, that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder as you dabbed your few tears with a napkin.

now he looked at you with a raised eyebrow and rubbed your shoulder. “really? i just took some pictures…” he said slowly, trying to understand where you were coming from.

he didn’t get why it was so sweet because it was natural for him. why wouldn’t he take pictures of his favorite person? why wouldn’t he want to cherish your memories together and your beauty?

you knew you couldn’t explain it so you settled on telling him how much you loved him over and over again. that was until he had to grab your, now forgotten, plate of food and make you eat it so you’d stop professing your love to him in the middle of a fast food restaurant.

vernon was a quiet lover, but his quiet love spoke loud volumes.

#seventeen x reader #svt imagine #svt headcanons #svt fic #svt scenario #svt x reader #svt fluff #svt imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen imagine #vernon x reader #vernon fluff #seventeen fic #seventeen scenario

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jazzyoranges · 2 days

Note

Sam carpenter x reader with the song birds of a feather by Billie eilish maybe friends to lovers

Birds of a Feather

Sam Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: you and Sam are best friends. until you aren’t

Words: 8k

A/n: ok we kinda went off script with this one but i’d describe this as friends to lovers with a few bumps. is friends to not friends to lovers a trope?

A/n 2: i have something to confess. i’ve never seen scream 5. that might be very evident in this

Warnings: intoxication, usage of drugs, Richie Kirsch, Sam deals with some hard shit, crying, ghostface aftermath, not a warning but Tara is a cutie, mention of a dead parent, maybe ooc sam cause i’ve never written for her and probably should’ve made a less lengthy fic so i could get a feel for her character but wtv 🤷‍♀️

“Hey- What the heck! What was that for, Sam!?” The young boy yells when Sam pushes him off the swing

“You jerk broke my friend’s crayons. She really liked them!” Sam points a finger at the boy, who’s now dusting himself off

“Yeah? What’re you going to do about it?” He smiles a wicked grin. At least, what would be considered wicked in kindergarten

“I’ll never let you on the swings again!”

“I don’t see your name written on it!”

“That’s cause you’re stupid and can’t read!”

Tears well up in the young boys eyes. He blinks them away, running to tell on the teacher him and Sam share. Sam didn’t care, he deserved the insults anyways

“Sammy? What did you do to Carlos?” You run up to Sam, who’s glaring at the back of Carlos’ head from her seat on the swing

“I pushed him. He broke the crayons your dad gave you!” The Carpenter pulls you into a hug, not wanting to let go

“I know he did Sammy, but it’s not nice to push people” You reciprocate the hug, pulling back a bit to see Sam’s face and how her forehead was wrinkled with her eyebrows furrowed. You thought she was cute like one of your stuffed animals

“It’s not nice to break something that doesn’t belong to you! I did it because he was mean to you”

“You’re going to get in trouble! Mrs. Poppy doesn’t know you were trying to protect me”

“Then I’ll tell her, and Carlos will get in trouble too”

“Samantha Carpenter.” Your teacher’s voice was stern. Nothing like the sweet teacher you were used to. You backed away from Sam’s hug but you don’t go far. You hold her tiny hand with your own and make sure to stay close, rubbing her hand in hopes of comfort

“Is it true you pushed Carlos off the swings and said some mean things?”

“Yeah, but he was being mean to (Y/n) first! He broke her new crayons her dad got her! Mrs. Poppy, (Y/n) was really sad” Your dad couldn’t get you many new things due to being a single father. Especially new school supplies. Usually you’d reuse the crayons you didn’t lose or break from previous years or borrow some of Sam’s

On most days you took the bus home with Sam while your dad was off working his ass off to get you dinner every night. Your dad and Sam’s dad were good friends so Mr and Mrs. Carpenter didn’t mind taking care of you until your dad was able to pick you up from their house. Luckily you two lived in the same neighborhood. Some days you thought all of the stars aligned for you and Sam to be friends

“Is this true?” Your teacher shoots a look at the boy next to her. While your teacher was the nicest woman you ever met, she had a deadly glare. You were happy you weren’t on the receiving end of that stare

“N-No…”

“Carlos if I find out you’re lying, you’re going to be sharing the same punishment as Sam.” Mrs. Poppy seems to calm down a bit, entering her nice teacher mode once again

“F-Fine! I did break her crayons” Carlos pouts, crossing his arms

“Thank you for telling the truth, but what you did was wrong. You also did something wrong, Sam. Instead of pushing Carlos off the swing, you could’ve told me and I would have taken care of it” Your teacher bends down to look at the two kids in the eyes

“Sorry, Mrs. Poppy” Sam and Carlos say in unison

“Thank you, you two. I know you two are good kids and know what’s right”

Your teacher leaves with Carlos next to her and you can hear her faintly ask why the boy broke your crayons in the first place

“I like having you as a friend, Sammy” You hug the girl, who’s long since stopped swinging

“I like having you as a friend too, (Y/n)!” Sam beams. Her smile was one of your favorite things ever

“Can we play house?”

“Yeah! I’ll bring my bear next time so she can be our baby!”

//-//

“I can’t believe you can name your sister!” You were over at Sam’s house a few months after her baby sister was born. You didn’t know what to call Sam’s little sister considering… she didn’t really have a name. It was up to Sam to pick a name but of course she was a Carpenter, wanting the best name for her sister. As a result, her baby sister had no name

Until today, that is. Sam was finally making a decision today

“I don’t know what her name is going to be yet” Sam reaches out a finger to her baby sister who happily grabs onto it with curiosity

“She likes you a lot, huh?”

“She knows I’m her sister”

“Maybe I could help you come up with a name! What’s your favorite letter?”

“I like the first letter of your name but I don’t want it to be that! I need to think of something different”

“I know you’ll think of a wonderful name, darling.” Sam’s mom strokes her on the head as she rocks the small baby in her arms

“Do you have another favorite letter?” You ask

“Uh… I like T?”

“What about Triceratops!” You giggle

“Her name can’t be Triceratops, silly!” Sam smiles

“Tennis?”

“(Y/n), those aren’t names” The now older Carpenter giggles along with you

“What about Taylor? Oh! There’s a girl in our class named Thalia?”

“I want it to be different, though! I like those names but Tara needs to be special.” Sam’s eyes go wide in surprise. Maybe her brain just knew her baby sister was supposed to be named Tara

“Tara?” You repeat. “That’s a pretty name! Hi little Tara!” You wave at the baby in her mom’s arms

“Is this official? Is Tara your choice, Sam?”

“Yeah! Tara is a nice name. She looks like her name would be Tara”

“She does, doesn’t she? Such a pretty name you chose, Sam. Honey, come here! We have our daughter’s name!” Mrs. Carpenter yells for her husband

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Sam smile so wide before

//-//

“Hey, Sam?”

“What’s up?”

“Aren’t you scared of middle school?“

“No, why would I be? Middle school should be scared of me” That was your Sam alright. The most fearless person you knew. As far as you knew, she was scared of absolutely nothing. Not even the dark. Which is why you were reluctant to stay outside on your trampoline after sunset. Which is also why you were curled next to Sam as she pointed out all the different stars

“What if we stop being friends?”

“Don’t be stupid, (Y/n)” The Carpenter pinches your cheek and you yelp while giggling, shoving her hand away

“If we stop being friends, which we won’t, I promise I’ll let you have all of my stuffed animals”

“Woah, really?”

“Yes, really

“Every single one of them?”

“Yes, every single one of them” Sam rolls her eyes

“Even Ghostie?” Ghostie was the panda stuffed animal you got Sam for her eighth birthday. Technically your dad bought it for her but you picked it out

“What! You’re not supposed to take a gift back, I like Ghostie”

“Well, you can give me all of your stuffed animals and I’ll just give Ghostie back to you”

“That makes no sense, why wouldn’t you just let me keep it?”

“Cause then you wouldn’t have given me all of your stuffed animals and kept your promise”

“You’re weird, (Y/n)”

“Hey, so are you! That’s why we’re friends”

“Yeah, I guess so” Sam giggles

The sliding door to your house opens and both you and Sam turn to look who’s there. It’s your dad

“Hey, girls! Sam, your parents are leaving now. Best you go with them, eh?”

“Okay! Thank you, Mr. (Y/l/n)” The Carpenter waves to your dad

“Wait, let me go with you inside! It’s scary out here”

//-//

“Sam! What if we get caught out here?” Your words held concern but you couldn’t stop laughing as Sam dragged you under the bleachers

“Shhh! They’re gonna catch us!” The Carpenter put a hand over your mouth and put one over hers so she’d also stop laughing when both of you sat down on the underside of the bleachers where the grass was

Both you and Sam were currently in seventh grade but there was an eighth grade couple that was constantly terrorizing the younger kids. Sam being Sam, she wanted to end their reign.

How did she want to end their reign? By breaking the two up. Sam slipped a note in both of their lockers about meeting to break up during one of their classes, causing both of them to skip. Your job was to lead a teacher to their meetup and if everything went right, then they would be successfully broken up and in detention.

Both of you hear footsteps and see the couple at the meetup spot. The teacher wasn’t far away, all you had to do was rile him up a little and run away. Did you feel a little bad? Maybe. But in your defense the couple was always making out in the hallways and made everyone passing by uncomfortable. For gods sake, it was middle school! Not high school

You and Sam were far enough away you couldn’t hear them but their body language was enough for the both of you to understand. Your plan was going perfectly. You and Sam were more the vigilante type, not the heroes or the villains

The couple exchanged pointed looks and flailing arms, hopefully arguing about the note. You and Sam wrote… not the nicest things in there

The teacher eventually arrives out of breath but the couple is too busy yelling each other to notice how he’s standing over them. He looks to clear his throat and to their horror, they stop fighting. Success!

“Yes! We did it!” Sam says a little too loudly from the position you two were in. Their heads turn in your direction and you know you’re caught when the teacher stars walking towards you two

“Hey! What’re you two doing there under the bleachers?” His ragged voice yells

Shit.

//-//

“Sam? What’s wrong?” You run to the Carpenter, who’s outside under a tree eating her lunch. Usually she’d wait for you but today seemed different

“Get away from me, (Y/n).”

“Sam, don’t be like that. You know me, you can tell me what’s wrong.” You and Sam didn’t share too many classes in eighth grade. Even then, your friendship still didn’t seem to falter. You’d still hang out after school and help each other study. Sam lashing out at you was never really a problem you two had

“No! You don’t know anything.” Sam shoves you away when you try to put your hand on her shoulder. “You’re useless.”

“Sam, you don’t mean that. Please just tell me what’s wrong?”

“You wouldn’t understand. You don’t understand anything.”

“Yes I do! We always talk to each other, Sammy. Even if I’m not going to understand, I can still listen”

“Don’t say that stupid name.”

“I thought you liked Sammy?”

“See, that’s the thing with you! You’re always so stuck in the past. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“You’re not being very nice right now”

“Yeah? Well you can deal with it.” The last thing you expect Sam to do is push you onto the ground into a patch of dirt.

“We’re done. I’m not your friend anymore.”

“Sam- we can talk about this” Tears pool in your eyes. You try to get up but all that happens is a crawl

“We can’t. You’re weak and pathetic and can’t do anything without me.”

Sam doesn’t look back when you say her name through tears. Sam doesn’t look back when she hears a few laughs and whispers directed at you. Sam doesn’t look back.

//-//

“Heyyyyy (Y/n)!” Sam’s voice slurs over the phone. It was almost one in the morning, what the hell was this girl doing? Not to mention this is the first time she’s even talked to you since middle school. And yet, you still answered without hesitation. Damn you really needed to grow a backbone

“Sam? What’s going on?”

“Nothingggggg whut’re y’doin?”

“I was trying to go to sleep then you called me. Where are you?”

“Why’d y’wanna know? You’re not my momma!”

“Are you drunk? Sam, you’re underage!”

“No fun… I’m wif my friends! We at a partayyy!”

“Whose house are you at?” Grabbing your keys, you race to the door. Your dad was asleep and you only had your learners permit but you couldn’t just hang up on your Sam like that.

“Uh… Tristan? He’s in our uh… what class is he in?”

“Math. Tristan from math, got it” You knew where he lived. You tutored the guy as requested by his parents but he paid you more money to stop coming to his house than his parents did for your tutoring business. How could you say no to free money?

Thankfully he wasn’t far. Thank god for that, you weren’t one to drive at night

You go faster than you hope but luckily you don’t get pulled over. You really didn’t want to go to overnight jail and face your dad the next morning but surely he would understand the circumstances you were in. He knew you, he knew Sam, he knew the devotion.

At least that’s what you told yourself on the way to Tristan’s house

You could hear the house blasting bad music from about four blocks away. It was a wonder how the police hadn’t shown up yet. Unless he paid off them too. You wouldn’t put it past the guy

Were you invited? No. But in all the movies you’ve watched - said movies being Mean Girls - random people just showed up and nobody cared enough to kick them out. So you walked up to the door like you were invited and instantly started looking for Sam

The music was so loud you could feel it in your lungs and couldn’t hear your thoughts. You couldn’t imagine this was the scene Sam was willing to put herself in but then again you hadn’t talked to her in years. Maybe under all those layers she was a party animal at heart

You internally laugh at the thought. Like hell Sam’s actually a party animal

After a bit you find Sam snorting some drug that probably shared the name with a sexually transmitted disease. Grabbing the sleeve of her shirt, you drag her out of the house while her friends groan and call you a party pooper.

“Hey! Wh- what’s wrong wif you!?”

“We’re going home, Sam. I’m taking you home”

“No! T-Tara can’t see me. Wanna go somewhere else…” Sam struggles against your grip. She’s always been stronger than you but in her intoxicated state you could probably carry her like a sack of potatoes if you tried hard enough

“Fine, I’ll take you to my house. You can spend the night”

“Noooo, wanna party…”

“We’re going home, Sam.”

In all of your years of friendship with Sam, she’s never seen you so stern before. The Carpenter keeps her mouth shut for the rest of the car ride.

After lots of trial and error, you eventually get Sam out of your car and into your bedroom with much difficulty. Thankfully your dad was the heaviest sleeper you knew. You search for a shirt and shorts that fit Sam, ignoring her protests of not wanting to sleep

Against your better judgment, you now have your intoxicated ex-best friend in your bed as her sobriety was nowhere to be found

“Why did you call me, Sam? Even in your state I know you couldn’t do that on accident”

“Ugh, friends made me. Wan’ me t’call my first crush”

“What?” You’re taken aback. Did you hear her correctly?

“Tired… m’sleepy”

You sigh, bringing your hand to Sam’s face to stroke her cheek. Your heart breaks when the older Carpenter leans into your hand like a touch starved cat. You wished things would go back to normal but Sam was stubborn. She wouldn’t let you in no matter how many times you tried.

“Go to sleep, Sam. I hope I’ll see you in the morning” You’re only met with small snores

You wanted to hate Sam. You wanted to hate Sam with all your heart for pushing you away and not even looking at her sister anymore

You wanted to hate Samantha Carpenter so badly but you couldn’t

//-//

It’s nine thirty in the morning when you hear a knock at your door. It was a Saturday. Who the hell was up this early? Rubbing the sleep from your eyes and attempting to smooth out your hair with your hands, you begrudgingly walk downstairs to the door. Your dad was at work already and usually you weren’t up at this hour

Looking through the peephole, you don’t expect to see Tara Carpenter in tears at your door.

“Hey what happened, sweetheart?” You bend down to meet Tara’s eyes. They were red and puffy, evidently showing she was crying a lot. And a lot before she got to you

“S-Sam, she-“ Your heart broke when Tara couldn’t let out even a few words without hiccuping and sniffling

“You can tell me later, darling. How about we drink some juice and you can tell me what’s happening, yeah?”

“No! S-Sam’s…” There seemed to be a never ending amount of tears flowing. “She’s gone, (Y/n). She’s gone and she’s gone for good.” Tara runs into your arms, staining your shirt with her tears.

“What do you mean, baby?”

“M-Mom said Sam left a-and isn’t coming back…” Your heart breaks when Tara’s breathing gets quicker and isn’t able to catch her breath

You pick up the younger Carpenter, taking her to your couch. Tara’s on your lap and you’re holding her just like her mom probably did when she was born. It was something your dad always did, even when you got older. Sometimes people just needed to be babied no matter how old they were.

So you start rocking Tara. She’s holding onto you like you’re the only thing keeping her alive and you move her ear to your heart. Placing her head under your chin, you hum a tune that was familiar to you. A lullaby your mom always sung to you before she died

You kiss Tara’s forehead with tears in your eyes. You saw how Sam changed and you couldn’t help her. You knew this day was going to come and you couldn’t stop it. But how could you?

When Sam looked at you with such hatred and anger, you’d wonder if she was still the same Sam that pushed Carlos because he broke your new crayons. When you saw her high out of her mind with people that didn’t care about her, you’d wonder if she was the same Sam that watched the stars with you on your trampoline. When you looked at Sam all you could see was what you two were. Was your Sam even still in there there?

You felt disgusted with yourself. You could’ve done something and yet you did nothing.

You’d never see best friend again and Tara would only remember her sister as hateful and unloving. Memories of Sam would go sour until you only had Tara and Tara only had you as a reminder of who Sam used to be.

When the younger Carpenter sees you also crying, she somehow manages to hug you tighter than she already has. What a lovely girl Tara was.

“A-Are you okay, (Y/n)?” The brunette says in a small voice

“Can I be honest with you, Tara?” You earn a nod from the small girl

“No. I’m not okay. But you know what? I’ve got you and you got me. Thank you for telling me.”

“(Y/n)?”

“Yeah?”

“Mom says she isn’t coming back. Sam didn’t talk to me a lot but I miss her.”

“You’ve got such a big heart, Tara. Did you know that? Please don’t ever lose it for me.”

“Will Sam come back?”

Your breath hitches and for a second you’re left without words in your throat and without knowledge about the future.

“Yes… she’ll come back. Sam just doesn’t know it yet.”

Tara’s mom comes storming in a second later with an out of breath angry expression that slowly softens when she sees how her daughter is nestled in your arms

“Tara, you can’t just run away like that. You made me so scared, you know I can’t run as fast as you” Her mom presses a kiss to her forehead

“I had to tell (Y/n), Mom! She’s Sam’s best friend and she deserved to know”

Her mom brought a hand to Tara’s face to wipe a few stray tears. With her other, she placed on your shoulder with a small nod. Sam was gone. She was gone for good.

//-//

Sam spends her first night away from home in her car in a neighborhood she didn’t recognize. The first night Sam leaves, she holds Ghostie in her arms and hopes it’s enough to keep her safe.

//-//

“You’re hiding something”

“What?” You and Tara always hung out ever since Sam left. Her mom hasn’t been the same since her husband walked out. You offered to be one of Tara’s caretakers to help her mom with the load of being a single mother without Sam or her husband’s support

Your dad wasn’t home very often but every now and again he’d give you random tips on how to raise a teenager. At least, tips he used when he raised you. At first he was skeptical of you taking on the role of caretaker at such a young age but when you employed Tara to use her puppy eyes, it was a losing battle for him.

So Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, Tara was all yours. You’ve been doing this since you turned eighteen and could confidently drive without being nervous at all. Also mostly because you couldn’t be her guardian in the eyes of the law under eighteen

There was a void in Tara’s heart and while you couldn’t fully replace her sister, the least you could do was be there. Which is how you knew something was up when she started picking at one of the things she loved so dearly. Your cooking.

“I know you’re hiding something, squirt”

“You’re crazy, I’m not hiding anything” Tara scoffs

“Hey, I’m not decades older than you. I know when you’re lying” You hated pulling the ‘I used to be your age’ card but now you’re realizing how effective it is when you’re only six or seven years older than Tara

Tara throws her head back, groaning in what seems to be frustration and covering her face. You can’t hold back your snicker. The younger Carpenter was always one for theatrics

“You don’t have to tell me but I could really help you, you know? With how super knowledgeable I am, as you know”

“Knowledgeable my ass, you didn’t know your microwave had a popcorn button until I told you”

“In my defense, I heard you’re not even supposed to use the popcorn button for popcorn”

“Then why is it called a popcorn button?”

“I dunno. Maybe the same reason why Greenland is called Greenland”

“What?”

“Deception. The guy who found Greenland named it that cause he wanted more people to come over. I bet he was lonely”

“Why do you know that?” Tara says in between laughs

“No clue, but we’re getting off topic!” You smile. “The point is, you shouldn’t feel like you have to keep secrets from me.” You reach over to pinch Tara’s cheek and she tries to swat your hand away, ultimately failing. “Well, big secrets. If you cheated on a test or something I don’t care that much”

“Thanks, (Y/n)”

“No problemo, squirt”

So now you were back to silently eating dinner except for your TV playing some sitcom Tara liked. You could handle the quietness. Even if Tara didn’t want to tell you, at least she knew you were there to listen. That’s all that mattered

“(Y/n), I think I like a girl.”

//-//

“What was Sam like?” Tara says out of the blue. “I was thirteen when she left but she didn’t really talk to me. What was she like… before that?”

It was another weekend night that consisted of spending time with Tara. The question catches you off guard

“I don’t think you’d believe me, squirt”

“Well I wanna know anyways. Even if i believe it or not”

“Did you know Sam named you?”

“She did?”

“Yeah, Sam named you Tara. You were unnamed for a while before she came up with anything.”

“Mom said she was mean. Is that true?”

“I mean yeah, but not entirely. When you’re friends with Sam, she’d be the nicest person you’ve ever met. Hell, she’d probably kill for anyone she loved. But when someone messed with a person she loved, nothing could stop her from making her loved one feel better”

“I wish I could’ve experienced it.”

“Trust me, you did. You just don’t remember it. One time when you were little, a kid that was around Sam’s age at time pushed you into the mud at the playground and Sam was furious” You laugh

“You cried and Sam could hear you from where we were playing soccer. She found him and kicked his ass so hard he crawled back to his mommy so we took you and booked it out of there”

“She did that?” Tara covers her mouth laughing, failing to cover it up

“I remember it like it was yesterday, squirt. Sam gave you a piggy back ride and you were giggling the entire time we ran home.”

//-//

“Fuck, Tara! Shit, I came as fast as I could. Are you okay? Oh my god, of course you’re not okay.” You barged into Tara’s hospital room without any concern of who else was in there. You took her face in your hands and scanned for anything wrong until you brought her into a bone crushing hug. “Sorry, stupid question. Holy shit I’m so happy you’re alive, squirt. I am never letting you out of my sight again. Okay maybe in the future I will, but the future is not now! Right now I’m never leaving you again.”

“You’re such a fighter, you know that? Holy shit you must’ve been so scared. Tara you’re the strongest person I know, did you know that?” There are tears in your eyes threatening to spill. You don’t even notice there are other people in the room.

“Deep breaths, (Y/n). I’m okay. Look, I’m right here” Tara takes one of your hands and puts it against her heart. Your eyes can’t hold in your tears any longer. When you cried, you rambled. Tara was ready for the storm.

“Fuck you’re such a sweet girl, Tara. Even when you’re lying in a hospital bed you care about me. I don’t know what monster would do this to you! He obviously doesn’t know what a blessing to this world you are. Please promise you’ll never let anyone stop you from being the beautiful sweet girl you are.”

There it was.

You felt a hand rub your back and your arm. You assumed it was Tara. Until you heard a hum that wasn’t Tara’s. Until you realized this person had rough hands. And oddly smelt like…

“Sam?” Your head whips around

“Hey, (Y/n). I… I missed you.”

“Sam?” You let go for a second and bring your hand to her face. Not in a cute or romantic holding-her-cheek-way, no, you pinch at her cheeks and nose with a questioning look. You poke at Sam’s forehead and nose, still probably in disbelief. Yeah, you were still her (Y/n).

“Please don’t tell me both of you are dead and I’m actually in a psych ward and this is all a dream” You whisper and you can hear Tara laugh behind you

“No, this is all very real.” Sam smiles, taking your hand off her face and gently putting it back by your side. Your eyes go wide and you whip around to look back at the younger Carpenter

“Tara, can I take my attention off you for a second? Will you be okay?” You whisper, knowing damn well Sam could hear you

“Yeah I’ll be okay, (Y/n). Go hug Sam.”

You press a kiss against Tara’s hairline and immediately after, launch into Sam’s arms. Tara could feel it again, you were going to start crying and rambling.

“Sam, I can’t believe you’re here! Well of course you’re here. I always knew you’d come back! I knew you wanted to come back. I don’t know why you left, but I hope you achieved your goal and came back because you missed us. Also I’m really mad at you but for the sake of time we can discuss that at a later time.”

There it was.

“You two are close, huh?” You don’t notice there’s a man with curly hair in the room and you raise an eyebrow at Sam

“Yeah, very close” You say

“Sorry, I should introduce you two. (Y/n), this is my boyfriend Richie. Richie, this is (Y/n). My…” Fuck. Sam couldn’t just say you were her best friend after all these years. After she made your life shit, was she even allowed to call you her friend? What if-

“Best friend. Happy to meet you, Richie”

“Likewise” He smiles. There’s a pang of a certain emotion in your chest you can’t quite place

“Well, I’ll be going now. Feel better soon, Tara” Richie waves at the younger Carpenter and gives Sam a kiss before he leaves Tara’s hospital room

“Do you know if my friends are visiting soon?” Tara asks you. Sam doesn’t know how to feel when she sees Tara treating you more like a sister than her. She knew it was wrong. Sam had no right to be treated like a sister after she just up and left all those years ago

“Amber told me she was getting some of your things from her house. The twins are coming over right now, okay? I think you’ll feel better when you see them”

Sam felt like an alien watching you and Tara talk. Watching you two was like watching everything she’s missed. Sam missed almost all of Tara’s high school experience. Arguably one of the most important times to have an older sister. She shouldn’t have been jealous. She wasn’t allowed to be jealous after all she did to you and Tara

“How’re you feeling right now? Anything I need to tell the doctors?”

“No, I’m feeling okay”

“Hey, can I talk to you outside, (Y/n)?” Sam says almost above a whisper

“Yeah, of course.” You turn to face Tara as you walk out her room. “See you in a second, squirt. Don’t run away” The brunette rolls her eyes at your words

“Guess I owe you all my stuffed animals, huh?”

“You still remember that?” You raise an eyebrow at the girl

“I do. I owe you an explanation, don’t I?”

“An explanation would be appreciated” You weren’t mad at Sam per se, just very very very disappointed. Mostly at yourself for letting her leave

“You remember when I yelled at you that day in middle school? I said I didn’t want to talk to you or be your friend anymore? It’s not an excuse, but I have an explanation.”

You nod along to Sam’s story, listening close

“The night before I yelled at you, I found out my dad wasn’t really my dad. I was going through my mom’s diaries I found in the attic and it was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I.. I found out I was-“ Sam doesn’t realize she’s crying until she chokes on her words and your expression falters. Sam remembers you were always good at comforting people

She’d always get bruises and scrapes when she was younger but you were always there to make her feel better. Fuck, she can’t remember why she would ever leave you. You were the perfect best friend. Always an inviting smile and open arms that were ready for hugs. The only one that stuck with Sam through whatever happened.

Sam was at her lowest of lows when you picked her up that night during the party. She remembers wondering why she’d put you so much pain and worry. She smoothed out the wrinkles on your forehead while you were asleep and felt guilty she was probably the cause of them. That night when you picked up Sam from that party and you had your arms wrapped around her, Sam asked herself why she would ever push you away. She loved everything about you. She loved you.

In her drunken state she remembers wanting to fade away into your memory. At least then you’d remember the Sam that played tag with you and not the one that snorted or drank away her pain. It was the same night she decided to leave everything behind. She decided to leave you behind

But Sam was selfish. She wanted you to tell her not to go. To come back into your arms and for you to tell her everything would be okay. That it didn’t matter she was the bastard child of a serial killer. It wasn’t her fault her dad left. Reassuring her you and Tara would love Sam the same. In a perfect world Sam would’ve still been Tara’s sister and you would’ve been her-

“Hey, look at me. You don’t have to tell me. If this is hurting you so much then I understand why you wanted to run away. What matters is that you came back. You’re strong for that” You pull Sam into your arms, letting her cry into the side of your neck.

Sam didn’t have the heart or the voice to tell you it wasn’t the story making her cry. She feared her voice would fail her and drive you away again. Sam would tell you why she left later

But right now, Sam was happy to be able to bask in your arms once again.

//-//

“Hey, (Y/n)?”

“Mhm?” You and Sam were back at your house getting some things Tara wanted

She requested the teddy bear Amber got her for her birthday, a blanket from her bed, and something better than hospital food. You decided to whip up something quick and simple you knew Tara liked. Frozen orange chicken from the store and fried rice

“I think I can tell you about why I left now.”

“Are you sure? I’m not gonna force you to tell me if it hurts so much to say, Sam”

“No, you of all people deserve to know. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m the same person that said all those horrible things to you and just never talked to you again without explanation.”

“Hey, don’t worry about all that. It’s in the past now and I know you’ve changed. I forgive you-“

“No, (Y/n). You can’t forgive me. You can’t make excuses for me and talk to me like we’re best friends again when I ignored you because I was mad at myself and- and-“ Sam chokes on her words and can’t hide it when you glance at her.

“Oh, Sam…”

“No, you can’t forgive me yet. I betrayed your trust. You can’t forgive me.”

“Sam, I accepted your apology when I saw you in Tara’s hospital room. Whatever you were going to say, I already knew I’d forgive you all the same.”

“Stop saying that, (Y/n). You don’t always have to be nice, you can be mad too.”

“But it’s true, Sam. If I’m mad at someone, I’m mad at myself for not fighting for you harder”

“How can you still look at me even when I left you. Years of friendship, all down the drain because I couldn’t handle being the bastard child of a serial killer that broke her family apart.” You turn off the heat to your stove, walking over to where Sam was curled into herself and sitting near the bottom of the staircase

Taking a seat next to her, you drape your arm around her shoulders and attempt to get her to rest her head on your shoulder. Sam doesn’t let you and fights back.

“Samantha Carpenter, you have been gone for five years. One-thousand eight hundred and twenty-five days, not including leap day. You aren’t allowed to push me away again. If you really want to say sorry, you can start by letting me in.” You take on a faux-mad tone and it seems to work

Slowly, the older Carpenter leans into your shoulder with a sigh. She makes herself comfortable and looks at you through her eyelids. It was weird. Five years out of Woodsboro and four years away from you, yet you still opened up your arms like nothings changed. It was odd. You were odd.

“What’re you thinking about?” You’ve always had a knack for reading Sam’s mind. Whenever she got quiet and her heart looked like it slowed, she was probably thinking

“You.”

“What about me?”

“How I don’t get you”

“What don’t you get about me?”

“I haven’t talked to you in nine years, I show up unannounced, and you’re still acting like we’re best friends even after all this time. I can’t tell if you’re the nicest or weirdest person ever.”

“Can’t I be both?” You smile, trying to lighten the mood. You realize it doesn’t work when Sam shies away from your gaze

“Well, I can be honest. I think it’s because I’m selfish.” That makes Sam look at you again so you decide to keep going

“Of course I’m… disappointed you broke up our friendship and you left without telling me and left your sister and I to believe you were never coming back,” The older Carpenter winces at your words but you don’t let her stop looking at you. Even as you avoid eye contact and place your gaze somewhere else.

“But there’s a part of me that wants everything to go back to normal. I know we’re going to have to talk about it. About us and about why, but right now I think what we need to do is be there for Tara. She’s in the hospital after being attacked by a serial killer and the last thing she needs is her older sister and her best friend fighting. We can do all the yelling and crying and screaming later.”

Taking a breath in, you look back at Sam who’s already looking at you. I’m makes your heart flutter in a way you don’t understand.

“And maybe that’s my excuse. Maybe I never want to cry or yell or scream at you. Maybe I’m putting off the inevitable because I don’t want you to leave again. Maybe Tara is my excuse for not being mad at you. Maybe I’m holding out hope for someone that doesn’t exist anymore. We’re different people than when we were in middle school. I don’t want to cling to a person that doesn’t exist anymore yet here I am, clinging to someone that doesn’t exist like she’s my lifeline. But in all honesty, I don’t think I could stay mad at you for too long. Even if I tried.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” There’s a silence that passes between you two. You can’t tell if it’s awkward or comfortable silence. You hope it’s the latter

“Do you get me a little more?”

“Well, not entirely. But I think it’s a step.”

“Yeah. Steps are good, aren’t they? Keep you healthy.” Sam smiles at your stupid joke.

You don’t miss how Sam still reminds you of looking like one of your old stuffed animals.

“What was Tara like?”

“What do you mean?” The question catches you off guard. The Carpenter sisters seemed to have that in common

“I missed a lot of her life. What was she like?”

“I don’t think she’s changed a lot. Tara is a sweet girl, she’s got a good head on her shoulders and a good heart in her body.”

“But that’s probably not what you’re asking. Tara was… distraught when you left.” You pick your words carefully. “She ran away from her mom just to tell me you left. She said I deserved to know since I was your best friend. It took a while for her to want to let go of me me. It’s when I knew I just couldn’t let her stay like that forever”

You shakily sigh before continuing. You’d have to acknowledge the elephant in the room eventually and you decided it was going to be now. “I know I’m not her real sister. I hope you’ll forgive me for taking a role that was supposed to-“

“Are you kidding?” Sam quickly cuts you off when she registers what you’re saying. “If anything, I’m happy it was you.” The Carpenter lifts her head up from your shoulder to look at you. To really look at you. “I know she has a good person to look up to. I’m happy you two are close.”

You’re about to respond when your ringtone goes off. The same ringtone you had in high school. Some Evanescence song you remember religiously listening to in school blasts from your phone. Usually it was Tara who found it embarrassing when you had to answer it in public but this time it was you with the reddened cheeks. Scrambling to find your phone in your pocket, you pull it out to see it’s Tara calling you

“Hey squirt. What’s up?”

“Are you guys going to hurry up anytime soon? I’m starving”

“Yeah we’re leaving just now don’t worry about it”

“Okay but my stomach is currently eating itself”

“You’ll live. I’ll see you soon, yeah? Don’t go running anywhere”

“At least I don’t run jokes into the ground until they’re dead… pun not intended”

“Hah! Proof you’re taking after me whether you like it or not”

“Whatever, I’ll see you soon. Run red lights if you have to”

“You got it, boss. See you soon” You pocket your phone, getting up from where you’re sitting. Offering Sam your hand, she takes it and you help her up too

“C’mon, our little girl’s hungry. That’s something you should know, she’s got an appetite the size of an elephant and a metabolism as fast as a cheetah” You smile, putting Tara’s food in a lunchbox you had in a random cabinet somewhere

Sam doesn’t trust her voice to do anything but break so she laughs at your comment and you both leave your house

Sam thinks our little girl has a good ring to it.

//-//

“Oh my god. Tara? Sam?” You narrowly avoided the police yelling at you to get away and the caution tape that prevented you from coming any closer. What used to be a house that held fond memories had been replaced with one that only caused you worry. You couldn’t lose both Tara and Sam. You couldn’t lose your favorite girls.

Sam texted you to come over to Amber’s house. That it was a Ghostface emergency and the speed in which you jumped in your car rivaled The Flash himself

“(Y/n)!” Sam’s voice. You run to the sound, dodging and weaving through the paramedics and police officers telling you to leave

Sam finds you with bags under your eyes and your hair a mess. It looked like you were in your sleepwear. Even though you were just in a band tee and plaid pajama pants, Sam feels the need to wipe the blood off her face and clothes to look a little presentable. You always had that effect for some reason

“Sam.” You breathe a sigh of relief, running into her arms. Your choked sobs reach her ears and it’s the saddest sound she’s ever heard. Sam squeezes you tighter. Maybe if she did she’d never want to leave again

“You’re back and you almost left me again. Don’t you know how mad I would be if you died?” Pulling back, you put both of your hands on Sam’s cheeks like you did so many years ago. “You- you-“

“Hey, shh… I’m here. I’m here, sweetie. See? I’m here and I’m never leaving again.�� Sam leans her forehead against yours, putting your hands around her waist so she could wipe the tears away from your face.

“I’m here, yeah? We won. They’re gone now, (Y/n).”

“How’re you sure?”

“They’re dead. Both of the Ghostfaces are dead.”

Sam leans in, awfully close for someone who’s just your best friend. Your mind instantly goes to her boyfriend. You know what’s about to happen so you back away, a little weary. The Carpenter furrows her eyebrows looking a little sad, oddly resembling a kicked puppy.

“What about Ric-?”

“Don’t say his name, it’ll ruin your perfect mouth” Sam cups your cheek, running her face over your bottom lip

You have to fight your body to not get hot at her words and actions. “Yeah but- he’s kind of your boyfriend. Where is he?”

“Ex-boyfriend actually. He’s dead, I killed him.”

“Oh. Am I right for assuming that’s a god thing?”

“Very good. He was one of the Ghostfaces”

“One of? Who’s the other?”

“I think Tara should be the one to tell you”

“Well, I didn’t like Richie to begin with. He gave me an odd feeling”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Sam leans in closer to you, a ghost of a kiss hanging in the air waiting to be taken. Sam smiles against your breath and for a fraction of a second you think your heart has stopped beating.

“He got to kiss you before I did.” Something snaps in Sam when you kiss her. A craving she’s always had, a certain desire finally being filled, or maybe even her dreams coming true.

You hold Sam like she’s about to leave again, pulling her impossibly close. You’re never letting her go again. It’s Sam who pulls away first. She’s out of breath but you lean in to steal more kisses before she smiles against your lips and it’s an image you never want to forget.

“Please, you two have to stop doing this.” You whisper, your eyes going wide. “Where’s Tara?” You pull away from Sam, whipping your head around like it’s going to help you find her quicker

“C’mon, she’s over here. Be careful, don’t squeeze her too hard”

“I’m going to squeeze that girl until she knows how much I love her.”

“You might break one of her ribs, darling”

“Squirt, you’re alive!” You run to Tara as her head whips in your direction. You can feel tears pool in your eyes once again and you’re okay with letting them go.

“(Y/n), I was so scared. A-Amber she- she tried to kill me.”

“What? Amber? Amber as in, your girlfriend?” You say shocked, taking Tara’s face in your hands to look at her

“A-Amber and Richie, they-“

“How about we tell (Y/n) what happened later? We need to make sure everyone is okay, including ourselves. (Y/n) can wait, right?”

“Oh I can wait alright. I’m the best at waiting. You can tell me about it when you’re feeling better”

One of the paramedics call over the Carpenter sisters and by proximity, you tag along. A man is ushering them in an ambulance and you’re also about to hop in before he stops you

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but we can’t let you into the ambulance. We don’t have enough space.”

“That is my little girl and that is my girlfriend. I will either be running every single red light, hang on the top of this ambulance, or so forgive me god for what I’m going to do.”

“O-Of course, Ma’am. You can ride in the ambulance.”

“Thank you, sir. You made a good decision today” You pat his shoulder, taking your seat near Sam. You sling an arm around Sam’s shoulders and reach out to hold Tara’s hand.

“Girlfriend, huh?” Tara weakly smiles, looking between you and her sister.

#sam carpenter x reader #samantha carpenter #sam carpenter #scream 5 #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #amber freeman #chad meeks martin #mindy meeks martin #richie kirsch #melissa barrera #melissa barrera x reader #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x you

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judes-hoe · 22 hours

Text

My winner ~ JB5

Parrings ~ Jude Bellingham x reader

Summary ~ you and Jude have been dating since his Birmingham days and he finally got the two things he’s dreamed of.

Warnings ~ super fluffy in the beginning, then… p in v(unprotected don’t do this!), creampie(2), praise, a little subby Jude, pet names.

A/N ~ enjoy☺️!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Jude have been dating since his Birmingham days. You had moved into his neighborhood when you were 6-7 and you and Jude quickly became friends. You went to every match you could. Once you got older you and Jude confessed your feelings to each other.

That’s when things got serious, you convinced your parents to move to Germany with him, the only reason they said yes was because Denise, Jude’s mom, would be with you guys.

You were with him the whole time at Germany, going through the bad and good times with that club.

Then he moved to Madrid, you knew that was his dream and when he had made the deal with them. He was in tears and hugging you and you couldn’t stop telling him how happy you were of him.

The move to Madrid was easy, the only hard part being not understanding people. But you and Jude took lessons together.

You were happy watching his achievements in the LaLiga, and the Champions League. Getting man of the match, and player of the month.

Now sat with his family watching the Champions League final. You were sat next to Jobe; squeezing his hand when Jude would fall to the ground, or when Madrid had a chance to score but missed.

When Madrid got the first goal you jumped out of your seat cheering, the hugging Jobe tightly. Then a few minutes later, Jude assisted Vini. You watched as Jude fell to his knees, he knew they won it.

The Jude got subbed off and you couldn’t stop bouncing your leg in the final minutes. When Dortmund had scored, you accidentally squeezed Jobe’s hand to tight and he winced in pain. “Sorry.” You mumbled to him and he just nodded his head rubbing his hand to sooth it.

But the goal was offsides and Jobe gave you a massive side eye. When that final whistle blew you were so happy and proud. Hugging Jobe tight and rocking side to side. Then hugging Mark and Denise.

You watched as he got his medal, and lifted the trophy. Celebrating with his teammates. He whispered something to one of the coaches, who then smiled at him and left. Jude coming over to you and his family. You stood back wanting him to have a moment with his family first.

He then walked over to you waiting by the barrier. He smiled at you and lifted you over the barrier placing you on the other side with him. He then kissed you deeply earning some cheers from the Madrid crowd that was still there. He pulled you with him to walk.

“Jude I’m so incredibly proud of you, I know this is your dream and you e finally accomplished it.” You spoke and stopped walking turning to him and grabbing his face to look at him. “Your family is definitely proud of you more than me.” You said thumb stroking his cheek. “I’m just happy you’re here and I wouldn’t want any other girl to celebrate this, you’re my girl and only my girl.” He spoke with a smile on his face looking at you with his brown eyes that were just full of love.

You and Jude walk to some of his teammates, while you talk to some of his teammates. Cama and Tchouameni you haven’t even noticed Jude disappear and come back. All you remember was the two men in front of you smirking but you didn’t think much of it.

“Come with me.” Jude said holding out his hand. You gladly take it and he walks you to the middle of the pitch. “What-.” You say but Jude’s stops you. “Just listen.” He says and takes a deep breath.

“You’ve been with me my whole life practically, you’ve watched me from academy, to Birmingham, to Dortmund, to now in Madrid, you’ve been with me through my highs and lows, you’ve been there to comfort me after a bad match, you’ve been my shoulder to cry on, I truly can’t see myself with anyone else but you.” He spoke with love and sincere.

You watched him as he gets on one knee and pull out a black box. “So will you marry me.” He asked opening the box but fumbles a little from nerves. You stare at him with tears in your eyes. “Yes Jude, I’ll marry you.” You said with a sob. He quickly puts the ring on your finger and stands up pulling you into a loving kiss. Cheers erupting from behind you, from his family, and his teammates.

You blush deeply as Jude pulls away and leans his head on your forehead. “I love you.” He whispers. “I love you too.” You say back.

You and Jude turn to walk back to his teammates and you walk over to his family. His teammates giving him little pats on the back and praise. “It’s beautiful.” Denise said holding your hand looking at the ring. “I’m so happy for you both, I always knew you’d both last forever.” She said pulling you into a hug. Mark and Jobe joining.

Jude comes over and joins the hug also planting a kiss on your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Jude are back at the hotel you’ve been staying at the past couple of days. He immediately pushes you to the bed kissing you and not pulling away. “Let me give you my proper celebration first.” You said pulling away. “Ok baby, but then it’s my turn.” He said flipping over so he’s laying on the bed. You smirk and start taking all his clothes off.

Once he’s got all his clothes off, you take all of yours off. You climb onto of him, jerking his cock off and spread the pre cum around his tip. You line him up and sink down onto him in one go. You let out a soft moan and he lets out a groan gripping your hips.

You start rocking your hips slowly to get used to him a little more. “Please baby faster.” Jude begs and the grip on your hips tighten. “Anything for my winner.” You said speeding up you movements and adding a little bounce. You smirk as an idea comes to mind.

You grab the medal around his neck and tug it slightly. Jude letting out a small groan. His cock twitching a little inside you.

You smirk and do it again. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” He moans out thrusting his hips into you. “Cum for me, cum inside me Jude, I’m right with you.” You bend down and whisper into his ear with a moan. He cock twitches before his cum paints your inside. The feeling of it making you cum right behind him.

Taking a little breather, he pulls out and can feel both your cum dripping out. He flips you both over so he’s on top. Thrusting back into you. “Fuck Jude!” You moan out. He goes fast, skin clapping filling the room. “Such a good girl for me.” He mumbles looking down where he’s going in and out.

You tug on his medal again and pull it for him to come down and pull him for a kiss. “Jude, Jude im gonna cum again.” You moan into the kiss. “Cum for me darling.” He said pulling away and taking a hand to rub your clit. That sends you over the edge and you cum around him your pussy clenching around him. “Fuck I’m cumming!” He said doing one final thrust and cums inside again.

You both breathing heavily. He pulls out and kisses you softly before going to the bathroom and getting a warm cloth cleaning you up. Then grabbing you pajamas to put on, helping you but then on. He just throws on a pair of boxers and basketball shorts.

“Goodnight my soon to be wife.” He whispered pulling you to his chest kissing your head. “Goodnight my soon to be husband.” You say back with a whisper and kiss his bare chest.

#jude bellingham #judes-hoe😚#jude bellingham drabble #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham imagine #ucl final #eduardo camavinga #aurelien tchouameni #jobe Bellingham

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starlostseungmin · 2 days

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husband!felix

✰ notes: felix is finally here !! hyunjin will be posted soon. not proofread. DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS! thank you <33

ꔛ

Husband Felix who proposed like this [ read here. ]

Husband Felix who is the sunshine of your rainy days, an angel sent to love and make you happy, and has the sweetest smile of all.

Husband Felix who loves to bake your favorite pastries every weekend. You’d try to help but he keeps you out of the kitchen just to surprise you with what he made (sometimes they’re burnt) but he is a good cook anyway.

Husband Felix whose freckles you love to trace with your fingers while he’s asleep and you’d tell him how much you love them, “They’re like constellations.” with a smile on your face. He gets shy after that.

Husband Felix who cries every time you do movie marathons because he gets swayed easily by the plot, especially melodramas.

Husband Felix who always wanted a golden retriever puppy and begged you to adopt one, but you told him you already have Seungmin at the dorms.

Husband Felix who lets you win every time you play video games with him and gets loud when he loses at uno. Thanks to Chan.

Husband Felix who gives you flowers when you go on dates because it makes him think of you and would say you are as pretty as them.

Husband Felix whose ideal date is to have a picnic by the river or the beach so you can watch the sunset or sunrise together while holding hands.

Husband Felix who loves taking pictures of you and showing them to you later saying how beautiful you look on each of them.

Husband Felix who knows exactly how to flirt but is weird and funny sometimes. It never fails to make you laugh.

Husband Felix who makes your heart flutter every time he smiles and it gets worse when he kisses your lips at random times leaving a blush on your cheeks. He loves to cuddle and is probably the clingy one in this relationship. You don’t mind anyway and you love him for that. “I was born to give hugs!!”

Husband Felix who lets you play with his hair and style it whatever you want on a boring weekend.

Husband Felix who calls and texts you every time he gets the chance when he’s not around because he misses you so much. He would hug you tight and smother you with kisses when you surprise him while he’s on tour or after he’s been away from you for too long.

Husband Felix who is a great drinking buddy but gets drunk easily. He always has so much to confess on how much he loves you when he’s drunk and cries while taking everything to heart.

Husband Felix who is so annoying (lovingly) and cute at the same time that you can’t even get mad. He does it on purpose.

Husband Felix who takes you on vacation a lot of times a year to his favorite countries, lets you use his card to make a big or small purchase and spoils you by buying you gifts or giving you something from the brands that he’s working with. “Take them or I’ll sell them online having me as a freebie,” He would say while wriggling his brows. “You can’t sell them,” “I know so take them!”

Husband Felix who gets jealous when you spend a little too much time with his friends instead of him when you’re hanging out during their free time and sulks at the corner like a pouty duckling.

Husband Felix who takes a day off from work and cooks for you when you get sick. He’s the type to not let you move a single muscle and asks you to stay in bedーthat he’ll do everything you ask for, except argue with him.

Husband Felix who doesn’t want to fight with you. He doesn’t like seeing you cry and most likely hides himself when he’s the one crying. He’ll apologize immediately and take you in his arms, whispering tons of I love yous.

Husband Felix who would say encouraging words when you’re sad and would insert funny jokes just to see you smile.

Husband Felix whose love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, gift-giving, and quality time.

Husband Felix who doesn’t mind if you don’t want or want children with him because he respects you so much and always choose the things that would make you comfortable.

Husband Felix who doesn’t just love you but is willing to give up everything in the world just to have you which he already did.

Husband Felix whom you promised to take care of him well, never hurt him, never leave but love him and would always be right there for him.

Husband Felix who will and always choose you.

#neverendingdreams #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids scenarios #stray kids headcanons #skz imagines #skz fluff #skz scenarios #skz headcanons #felix fluff #skz felix #felix imagines #felix headcanons #felix x reader #lee felix #stray kids felix #stray kids felix imagines #felix skz

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ayacokeandpepsi · 23 hours

Note

BITCHH OMGGG JEALOUS SEX WITH NI-KII

Cw: angst kinda, smut, friends to lovers, Riki is bad at emotions, mentions of ‘I love you’, possessive Riki, Riki cries a lot, unprotected sex

It would probably be like friends to lovers situation, seeing you flirting with another guy, just being friends.

Seeing you tuck your hair behind your ear and playfully touch his arm would be enough to walk away and leave a short and ambiguous text, something like ‘I need to talk to you’

When you finally meet up again, he wouldn’t be able to express his feelings with words, boy is not good with words lol. He would just pull you into a kiss and then quickly break it, seeing if you wanted it.

He wouldn’t know what to do per say, since he’s definitely a virgin with no experience with a girl friend, but his emotions would take over and not care and just do what he feels, knowing that you want him too.

Would be little to no talking, just sounds of panting and kissing and belts coming undone filled the air as you got to his hotel room, his hair messy now after your fingers being ran through it

He would pick you up effortlessly, sitting you on a dress before going in to kiss you again, this time more needy and desperate.

‘Please, I need you, I need you to be mine’ he sighs as he kisses your neck, softly sucking as he holds your waist in place

‘I hate how I feel when I see you with him,’ he says as he kisses your shoulders, reaching behind you to undo your bra

His fingers find your hair and run through it as he pulls you in to kiss your lips, biting the bottom one and sighing

‘Say you need me,’ he begs, his eyes red and puffy with emotion

‘I need you,’ you say, cupping his cheek as you palm him through his jeans, making him groan softly

He swiftly takes off his white tee, revealing his body, as you undo his belt and pull him out from his chrome hearts briefs, eliciting a gasp and moan from him

‘Tell me to stop,’ he whispers into your neck, you can feel hot tears running down his cheeks

You pull away from him and look into his eyes, his pupils big and eyebrows furrowed

‘Riki…’ you bring your face close to him, connecting your lips softly, reassuring him

He was so vulnerable like this, he didn’t cry in front of anyone, not even you

You pulled his head into your neck, stroking his hair, whispering words of apologies to him, he hugged you by your waist tighter

You stayed like this for a moment before you felt the tears stop coming, small pecks on your neck

‘I love you,’ he whispers, kissing up your neck to your jaw and up your cheek to your eyes

He paused realizing his confession

‘Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-‘ you shut him up with a kiss

You stroke him again, watching his brows furrow in pleasure. ‘Do you want me, Riki?’ You sigh

‘Fuck, yes,’ he practically moans, pulling down his briefs for you as you slide your panties to the floor below you, his hand massaging your clit as he inserts his middle finger, gasping at how easily it slid in

He added his ring finger, his palm pressing against your clit each time he when in and out of you

You stop him, ‘I need you,’ you look in his eyes filled with greed and want

‘Are you sure you want to-‘ you lined him up with your pussy, pressing the tip in

He cursed, his eyes rolling back a little as his head tipped back

He needed you, and you needed him

#niki smut #enha smut #enhypen smut #enhypen hard thoughts #riki smut #n1k1smut #riki hard thoughts #ni ki hard thoughts #ayacokeandpepsithots #rikihardhours

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skunkes · 1 day

Text

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

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delicatebarness · 2 days

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cry baby | chapter eleven

Summary: “You’re the heart of the family, Sweetheart.”

Warning: Fluff. Crying, it's Cry Baby after all.

Word Count: 1572

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Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N: I'm so so so sorry. Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as it is mine. - B

About a week passed since the latest bar incident, and life had slowly begun to return to normal. Rumlow wasn’t embarrassed to show his face around the bar anymore and everyone stopped staring at you and whispering when you walked in.

Tonight, you decided to head back to the bar again. The familiar establishment was filled with the usual crowds, creating a lively atmosphere. Your friends greeted you with warm smiles and hugs.

The conversation flowed easily, yet as the night went on, you began to notice once again that everyone in your friendship group was wearing their matching ‘Avengers’ leather jackets. You hadn’t gotten one, and it always made you feel a bit left out, a pang of sadness tugged at your heart.

Bucky was the first to notice the sudden shift in your demeanor. “Something on your mind?” he asked, his knee nudged against yours gently under the table.

You hesitated, looking up at him. “It’s silly, really,” you paused, taking a deep breath. “But, I can’t help feeling a bit… left out, I guess.”

He furrowed his brow, concern flickered in his eyes. “Left out? Why?”

You glanced up toward the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from flowing, you felt foolish for even having these thoughts never mind speaking them. “It’s just… you’re wearing your jackets, and I don’t have one. At least, not my own.”

“That’s not silly,” Bucky replied. He reached his hand under the table, rubbing his thumb over the exposed skin of your thigh. “I get it, you want it to look like you’re apart of the group, not just seen with us?”

You met his gaze, giving him a small nod. He squeezed your thigh while sending you a smile. “Well, then. I think I have a solution.”

Before you could respond, he stood up and shrugged the jacket off his shoulders. “Here,” he said, holding it out to you. “Now you match.”

You shook your head, surprised by his gesture. “Bucky, I can’t take your jacket.”

He hesitated for a short moment, disappointment flashed over his eyes before he shook his head back at you. “Consider it a loan, just until we get you one of your own.”

You held up your pinky finger, forgetting where you both were for a moment. Your pinky promises had never happened in front of anyone else but each other. Only ever in your apartment, never in public.

Yet, his pinky finger tangled itself with yours. “Thank you,” you said softly, accepting the jacket and draping it over your shoulders. That familiar scent envelops you, like a protective embrace.

“Anything for you, Sweetheart,” he said, widening his smile before taking a sip of his beer. As he did, his muscles became defined by the dim light of the bar. Shadows cast over them, accentuating their contours. You found yourself gazing at his arms for a lingering moment, as though you were seeing them for the first time.

A couple of days later, as you were getting ready for an evening at home, you heard a knock on your door. You stopped what you were doing instantly, opening the door slightly to see who it was. No one was there, yet you found a small wooden box sitting on the doormat. Intrigued, you picked it up and examined it closely.

The box was beautifully crafted, with familiar delicate cravings adoring the cedar. You traced your fingers over the patterns. Inside the box, there was a note attached to a wrapped parcel, written in Bucky’s handwriting.

Opening the note, you read it carefully. It simply said, “You’re the heart of the family, Sweetheart.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you kept rereading the note. It was a simple message, but it meant more to you than your emotions could let you express. With a shaky breath, you unwrapped the parcel and found a soft, cozy, pastel pink cardigan neatly folded.

As you inspect the cardigan, you notice the patches on the back, taking your breath away.

You ran your fingers over the embroidered designs, tracing the outline of each patch: the Avengers logo, that you sketched years before, and your initials. The tears that were previously welling now spilled down your cheeks.

With trembling hands, you reached for your phone and pressed Bucky’s name. As the call connected, his face appeared on the screen, immediately softening when he saw you.

“What’s wrong, Sweetheart?” his voice filled with concern as he noticed your puffy eyes and flushed cheeks.

“I just…” you tried to find your words between hiccups. “I just wanted to… I wanted to thank you for the cardigan. It’s… it’s perfect.”

Relief washed over his face, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I’m glad you like it,” he said softly. “I thought you’d feel more comfortable with a cardigan than a leather.”

Looking at him through the screen, you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice catching in your throat.

You took a deep breath after the call with Bucky ended, taking the note, you made your way to the kitchen. Carefully you attached the note to the door of your fridge. It felt like an important reminder.

Stepping back to admire the note, you wrapped the cardigan tighter around you.

A few days later, you were settling into your nightly routine, getting ready for bed, before another knock at your door. You hesitated to answer it, yet another knock came with a ‘It’s me,’ mumbling behind the door.

Answering it, you found Bucky standing on the other side, looking worse for wear again.

“Dare I ask?” you asked, making room for him to enter as concern filled your eyes and a small frown tugged at your lips.

He shook his head as he made his way to his usual seat at your dining table. “Just a little scrap, nothing serious,” he replied, giving you a weak smile.

You weren’t convinced, it was never just ‘a little scrap’ when Bucky was concerned. “Let me take a look,” you insisted as you made your way into the kitchen to fetch your first aid kit.

As you worked on tending to his wounds, cleaning and bandaging his knuckles, his gaze froze and fixated on something behind you. “Wait, who is this?” he asked, his voice filled with confusion as he stood, making his way over to where he had looked.

You turned to see what he was looking at, you blinked feeling a rush of guilt wash over you.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about?” you said, trying to play it cool as you reached out to take the tiny white kitten from his arms.

He raised an eyebrow at you, his expression skeptical. He moved the kitten out of your reach. “Sweetheart, the cat? The cat I am very clearly holding…” he trailed off, his eyes narrowed at you.

“There’s no cat here, Bucky,” you replied, trying to keep a straight face. And, still trying to reach the kitten.

Bucky started at you for a moment, an unreadable expression over his features. “Are you okay?” he asked, a soft chuckle escaping his lips.

You glanced around nervously, a pang of guilt rushed through you for keeping the truth from him. “I, um, I’m not allowed to have pets here, but I couldn’t say no to her…” you whispered in a rush.

His eyes softened. “You are the sweetest thing,” he said, a smile playing on his lips. “But, wait… does that mean? Little Miss Rogers… the cities Cry Baby… my Sweetheart? Are you breaking a rule?” he added with a mocking gasp and a teasing tone.

You nodded sheepishly, a flush of heat creeping up your cheeks. “I know, I know,” you replied, avoiding his gaze. “I couldn't just leave her.”

Bucky shook his head, “Well, I won’t tell if you don’t,” he admitted, the hand he wasn’t using to hold the kitten reaching out to cup your cheek.

As the night began and ran into the early morning, you and Bucky found yourselves lost in conversation, the kitten purring between the pair of you on the couch. Amidst the laughter and the warmth of each other’s presence, there was a subtle shift in the air.

Bucky tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered as he looked at you, the way your glossy eyes sparkled with excitement over any small gesture the kitten did. He couldn’t deny the surge of affection washing over him, he had an overwhelming urge to reach out and pull your face toward his.

He wanted to hold onto this moment, but he knew he couldn’t. As painful as it was to admit to himself, he knew he had to leave.

Bucky stood up from the couch, forcing a smile as he tried to hide the rage inside him. “It’s getting late,” he said softly, “I should probably head home.”

Confusion and a hint of sadness flickered across your face, you assumed he would have been spending the night at your apartment, like the majority of the nights recently. “Oh, okay… I guess you’re right,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

As he made his way to your door, he paused a moment of hesitation before turning back to look at you. “Goodnight, Sweetheart.”

You smiled weakly, a lump forming in your throat as you watched him leave. “Goodnight, Bucky.”

---

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

#cry baby series #cry baby #bucky barnes x cry baby #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x rogers!reader #biker!bucky #biker au

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yooglefics · 3 days

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Intentions don’t mean much.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!partner Wordcount: 670 words Genre: Angst. Hurt / comfort. Established relationship. Song drabble. Summary: Yoongi is having some bad days and, in the end, deciding to keep it to himself to not worry his partner is not the best idea. More info under read more.

Includes: Mentions of bad mental health, implied depression. Nothing too dark but Yoongi overthinks a lot. Lack of communication. Author's note: A little drable inspired by The Craving ( Jenna's version ) because I just had to write something after listening to it. Is pretty short but I kind of like it as is, because it can be read with the song in the background uwu. Hope you like it! If you do please remember to leave a reblog, like, follow, comment or send an ask, donate on ko-fi and what not. As always, thank you for reading <3

He is scared of putting too much weight on her shoulders, of driving her crazy because of his thoughts, and fears; the problems in his head, the ones that don't even have anything to do with her.

On bad days he tries to be reassuring. Holding her hand while sharing a cup of coffee and cuddling with her on the couch. Yes, it’s a bit selfish because it does good to him too, knowing she is with him even when his psyche reminds him of the possibility that they, too, are part of something temporary. That it could end sooner than expected, which is not much to say since he doesn't want it to end at all.

Is not that he doesn't believe she loves him, of course not. He believes everything she says, even the little conspiracy theories she rambles about at night in their bedroom. But, his brain tells him, life is unpredictable and the world goes around and around and around and…

When it gets too bad he spends most hours of the day in his studio. Even sleeps (or at least tries to) there. She brings him lunch and he kisses her cheek or forehead, sweetly and full of love. An attempt to not worry her.

Some nights, as he lays on the leather couch, he hopes she will knock on the door, looking for him and asking him to come to bed. He would say yes, even if that meant just playing with her hair as she fell asleep on his chest while he lays with his eyes open and his mind never shooting down.

But it doesn’t happen.

Is still dark outside when he hears her socket steps against the wooden floors, the beeps and trumps of the coffee machine following close behind, and he decides to join.

“Isn't it too early for coffee?” he asks, leaning in the doorway.

“Is six, just one hour early.”

“Oh.”

“How did you sleep?”

He keeps quiet, a bit confused with himself as to how he didn't realize so much time passed.

“Did you sleep?” She asks instead, tone different this time and he doesn't like something in it.

“Don't worry about it.” He tries to dismiss, coming closer and wrapping his arms around her waist, chin resting on her shoulder while they wait for the melancholy sounds announcing their beverage is ready.

But a sniff comes instead.

It takes a second for his tired brain to register it, yet is quick to react when she tries to move away, hugging her firmly against his chest. “What is it?”

“Nothing. Is silly.” she murmurs back.

“Tell me anyway?”

“Is just… after so long, I don’t know a lot about you still. And I wish I did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry about it. I don’t know what just—”

“Hey,” he softly calls out, turning her around as he looks for her gaze, “don’t apologize for it. Is on me, I’m going through some shit but I’m okay.”

She worries her lip between her teeth before asking, “Have you slept at all in the last few days?”

“A little bit.” Pretty vague, not wanting to bring concern around his insomia. But her eyes get glossy again and his open in surprise. In realization that doing that is what is upsetting her. He hates that. “I slept a couple hours yesterday after lunch, maybe that’s why I’m still awake.”

“You aren't tired then?”

A different kind, he thinks. And considers answering that while she fixes his head, but he still isn't sure. “Maybe you just need to do that for a while so I don't wake up until tomorrow.”

That makes her smile and her eyes fall to his again. But is hard to ignore the bags under them and the bigger issues. “I'm going to the store later, I'll bring you that tea we saw the other day. We can drink that before going to bed and see if it helps. Deal?”

“Deal.”

♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @sexytholland , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @itsmina29 , @nariee02 , @ktownshizzle .

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wolidolli · 2 days

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ You Want My Number?

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Jang Wonyoung x Fem!reader

𝐖/𝐂: 1.713k

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff, award show, reader is 3 yrs older than wony, reader is a certified tease, reader is 5'11; I think that's it!

Walking up the stairs of the big stage, your fans were screaming their hearts out, making other idols in the venue wince.

Your group leader reached out for the trophy, which was handed to her by the mc as she stood in front of the mic.

“I…” she whimpered out, barely holding back the tears that were escaping from the corners of her eyes, “I don't even know what to say, we, our group, the staff members, worked so hard, we're so, so, so thankful for an award as amazing as this, we-"

She couldn't hold back anymore, her lips trembling as she started sobbing, you quickly walked up to her, wrapping your arms around her waist, pulling het into a tight embrace.

The girl sobbed softly on your shoulder as you patted her back reassuringly, “nari, go up to the mic, say something,” but as you looked at your fellow members face, puffy, red from crying, you sighed.

Everyone was crying, so you whispered to the girl in your arms, “hey, sua, I have to go to the mic,” the said girl nodded, moving away from you to another members arms.

You stepped towards the mic, “I would-" but you were cut off by the defining screams from your fans for you.

Other idols were shook, screams have not been this big at all throughout the night, and for a rookie group to, it was quite surprising.

“I would like to thank-" yet another row of screams followed your voice, you smirked, looking to the side for just a moment, before back at the mic, “I would like to thank everyone who helped us through this journey, I would like to give the biggest credits to out staff members for working so hard to get us here, to our producers, to the girls,” you looked back at your members smiling softly, “and most importantly out fans, they-”

Screams again, everyone was shocked, some were covering their ears, some were just staring at the screams in disbelief and some were just admiring you on the big screen.

In that some, was included Jang Wonyoung herself.

Clad in a beautiful red gown, sitting legs crossed, posture straightened, beside her members.

Her eyes had not left the big screen ever since the camera focused on you, she couldn't deny it, no one, in their right sense of mind would deny how attractive you looked in a suit.

Yes, a suit.

While your fellow group mates were dressed in beautiful dresses, all dolled up, you were in a black suit, much to everyone's surprise.

“Hey, you're staring to hard,” ive’s leader snickered beside wonyoung, “fans will notice.”

“Huh? Oh, I wasn't staring…” the girl trailed off, making the maknae scoff.

“Pfft, don't lie to us unnie, we won't tell anyone,” she winked, making wonyoung groan.

“it's nothing, seriously, just spaced out I guess.”

Wonyoung knew she was lying, yujin knew she was lying, leeseo knew she was lying, but they didn't say anything else, they just turned to the front also not staring at you.

“I would like to thank my fans, we are really happy for all the kindness and support we're receiving so far, we're so thankful, we love you guys!” with that you winked, smirked, and blew a kiss, walking down the stairs to the backstage.

Award show was already over anyway, so you might as just get changed and head home.

♡♡♡

“Congratulations, guys, we're so proud!” your staff welcomed you all with open hands, hugs and warm words were exchanged.

“It wouldn't have happened with out you all's help, thank you so much,” your leader bowed down, eyes still teary but keeping composure.

You sighed out from tiredness, sitting down on a couch, legs spread, head thrown back.

“Did you notice how our fans went crazy at the sight of you?” mai, another group member walked towards you, plopping down on your lap, “they were literally feral.”

You wrapped an arm around her waist adjusting her sitting position, “what can I say, I have that effect on people,” you smirked, making mai giggle, playfully jabbing at your chest.

You two carried on with your conversation, when you heard a commotion, you didn't pay it that much attention until, the staff members along with a familiar group started walking towards you.

“This was your idea, so why are you nervous?” yujin asked the girl beside her, slowly walking towards your group who was at the end of the hallway, probably getting ready to go home.

“I don't know either,” wonyoung fidgeted with her hands, “we're just gonna congratulate them and leave right?”

“I dunno, however you want it, this was your idea after all,” the girl chuckled, making wonyoung roll her eyes.

As they walked close to your group, wonyoung's eyes some unexplainable reason, seemed to be searching for you, and they finally landed on your figure, sprawled on a couch with your member on you lap, although you seemed to be…asleep?

Your group leader instantly jumped into action, walking towards them greeting and bowing all at the same time.

“H-hello, ive sunbaenim,” sua was visibly nervous and confused at the groups sudden arrival, turning to search for her scattered members, only to be stopped by the other leader.

“It's fine, we just wanted to congratulate you for the award,” she smiled kindly, others nodding along with her.

“Yes! We'd just like to say congrats for winning such an award,” wonyoung interfered, looking behind the leader of your group at your sleeping form that hasn't moved ever since they got there.

“Oh, let me just-" sua walked over to you, slapping you in the face lightly, making you groan.

“What?!” you mumbled, clearly someone has disturbed your sleep, and it was apparent in your voice.

“Ive sunbaenim is here to congratulate us, come, say hi,” you grumbled, but obeyed anyway, following the shorter girl, stopping in front of the mentioned group.

“Hello, it's nice to meet you ive sunbaenim,” you bowed, yujin smiled, while wonyoung on the other hand couldn't even make a eye contact with you the reason? Still unexplainable.

“Congrats on winning such an amazing award,” yujin nudged wonyoung, the girl yelping in surprise.

“Y-yeah, congratulations, for such an award,” you raised an eyebrow, examining her face before a smirk made it's way on your face.

“Thank you, so much, it means a lot to get a congrats from a senior group,” now all of your members have gathered around you, and your leader was thanking the two girls.

While ive's leader and your group members were chatting, making witty jokes and just giggling along, you were focused on a one person, wonyoung.

Wonyoung was trying to be included in the conversation going, but your eyes on her making her feel flustered, her face was flushed and suddenly it was to hot in the room for her liking.

“I-I’ll go get some water,” she quickly said, turning around.

“Do you know where the water is?” yujin remarked, making the girl stop in her tracks, she shook her head no, giving up on the ‘escape’ plan as she started walking back.

“Oh, y/n can accompany you, if you want, wonyoung sunbaenim?” your leader, called out, making you turn towards her.

“Me?”

“Yes, accompany wonyoung sunbaenim to get some water,” you nodded, already walking towards the door.

“No, no, its okay, we'll get it together later-" wonyoung denied in a rush.

“Just go, wony, we'll talk for a little bit, and when you’ll come back we'll leave,” yujin snickered, raising her eyebrows at her to let her know it was her ‘chance'.

Wonyoung just nodded after that, not saying anything, and following you right through the door.

On your way to the water, it was really silent, wonyoung wanted to talk but she hesitated still to shy around you to say anything.

She was confused, she thought it should've been the other way around, with you being shy around her, since you know, she was your senior, and you were just a rookie group, but she just guessed it was the age.

You were 01’ liner and since she was 04' liner, you were three years older than her, so she just guessed it was just the age difference.

Probably not your tall, masculine figure, or your smirk that seemed to be glued on your face every time you looked at her, or your eyes that were burning holes in her face just a few moments ago, yeah, obviously none of those reasons.

“I don't bite, you know,” she was startled by your deep voice, cutting through the stiffness in the air around you two, or was it just her? “oh, sorry, I forgot, sunbaenim.”

You chuckled, slowing down your steps a little bit to walk beside her.

Wonyoung smiled nervously, “w-what do you mean?”

“I dunno, it just feels like you want to say something but you’re to shy..?” you questioned, looking to the side at her face.

“Oh, it's nothing, I just-"

“Want my number?”

“HUH?!” wonyoung yelped out, startled by the sudden assumption from you that she wanted your number.

“Geez, chill out, I was just joking, sunbaenim,” you smirked, staring ahead, satisfied by her reaction.

“Please, just call me wonyoung,” she tried, keyword tried, to keep her composure and not agree with you and ask for your number.

It got quiet after that, only sound being of your footsteps against the hard floor.

You, finally, reached the wending machine packed full with bottles of water.

Wonyoung crouched down, getting two bottles and extending one to you, you nodded in response, quickly chugging the half of the bottle down in one sip.

“Y/n?” you looked behind you seeing, natty of kiss of life waving at you, smiling brightly.

“Here,” you suddenly extended your cellphone to wonyoung, “write in your number so we can keep in touch.”

She took the phone without any hesitation, quickly typing in her number before handing it to you.

You chuckled, “hope you'll find the way back, wony?”

She nodded softly, as you started walking away, she watched you as you hugged natty, and wonyoung felt something was it jealousy..?

She quickly shook her head from thoughts like that, started walking back to the back stage.

𝐀/𝐍: If you enjoy the fic, please - like, comment, reblog and send feedback, all of them are appreciated<3

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the-laughing-lunatic · 3 days

Note

hii! hope it’s not too much trouble, but maybe reader x scout, reader x engie, and reader x sniper - (established relationships with the mercs and reader) the reader doesn’t seem to be very happy lately - something bad that happened earlier in the week must’ve reminded reader of their past. (i really like your posts btw, you’re genuinely a really good writer)

(ahhhhh thx sm! I tried to make it as vague as possible so I hope you like it. Thx for requesting! p.s. I'm workin thru the rest of rqs soon bc school is wrapping up, so rqs may be back open soon :3)

Scout, Engie, and Sniper w/ a reader who was reminded of their past (ROMANTIC)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

☆Scout☆

He feels like something’s off, but doesn’t know what

He wants to try to talk to you about it, ask if you’re alright and everything but he’s never been one for initiating that kind of emotional talk

When he finds you crying in your room though, he feels his heart break that he didn’t help you before

He scoops you up in his arms. “H- hey, doll, why’re you cryin’? Was it something I said?”

(He can’t help but still be a little insecure, you’re the first person he’s dated after all and he wants to do everything right for you)

If you don’t want to talk about it he’ll hold you and go on about how much he loves you so you don’t have to deal with silence

“You’re so perfect, doll, it kills me to see you like this, y’know, watchin’ tears roll down that pretty face of yours. Wish ya never felt the need to cry baby, I love you so goddamn much-”

Yeah he’s crying too, he can’t help it

If you do tell him he’d listen intently

He’d try to make you laugh so you’d stop crying, humor is his coping mechanism and he kinda projects it on you, sorry if that’s not your thing :/

He’ll make sure to give you plenty more affection a while after, youre getting spoiled as hell

☆Sniper☆

He’s not the best with emotions and all that jazz (he has the autism)

But when he finds you crying outside it hits him that something’s wrong

He sits next to you and places his hand on your shaking figure.

“You okay darl?”

“No.”

“Would you like a hug dear?”

“Please.”

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you tight to him, barely any space between the two of you.

He rubs circles into your back until your crying has settled down. “...you wanna talk about it now, love?”

If you don’t he’ll stay with you and idly trace shapes into your hand, letting you cry it out

If you do tell him he’ll nod empathetically “Oh, love,” he sighs, tilting your chin up to look at the night sky above you two

“Think ‘bout it this way. All those stars up there? The light we see from em’ now is from ages ago, but the actual bloody stars have completely different light. And jus’ because we can see the light, don’t actually mean that it’s here anymore. Bugger, I’m shit at metaphors. Point is, that’s in the past, an’ even though you might think ‘bout it sometimes its still in the past. And I love ya.”

☆Engineer☆

Notices something’s off immediately, he’s a smart guy after all

Once you two are alone he’ll place a hand on your shoulder and ask you “Are you alright?” in that sweet voice that just makes you burst out into tears

Pats your back and hugs you as you cry “Shh, it’s alright sugar, it’s alright. You wanna talk about it?”

If you don’t want to he’ll scoop you up in his arms (but I’m taller than- yes. He can pick you up too) and get you some warm food

“Y’know, my momma said that a good hot meal is the best after bawlin’ your eyes out. We don’t exactly got anything you’d call a meal right now, but I can fix you up some toast with cinnamon if you'd like, honeybee.”

If you do tell him he’ll reassure you that everything okay

“Honey, I know the past ain’t really ever somethin’ that leaves, but you gotta remember things are alright right now. Stuff from back then can’t getcha, sure it hurts sometimes but you gotta remember things are good right now. And I’m here for you.”

Gives you so many kisses

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 x reader #team fortress 2 x reader #scout tf2 #scout tf2 x reader #sniper tf2 #sniper tf2 x reader #engineer tf2 #engineer tf2 x reader #fanfiction #x reader

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wrightingdungeon · 12 hours

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BG3 Companion's reactions to Tav being much younger than they thought

Trying out a new format kinda, let me know if it works, please

Lae’zel is the baby at 20/23 ish but for this Tav is around age 16/17 making them the baby

Astarion: He didn't really care to know your age when you first met, but as you ventured forth he could tell you where inexperienced, an amazing leader, but you had no idea what you were doing. “How long have you been doing this, adventuring this darling?” He asked watching as you tried in vain to unlock a chest. “Oh well… Im only sixteen so not that long? When we met up really.” He stared into space for a moment, taking in his fearless leader, who was in fact a child. “Well thats… reassuring?” He said carefully moving you to the side so he could pick the lock for you.

Trust me you wouldn't live down the. “Does the baby need help?” Jokes

No one is getting within arm's length of you though

#his baby *cough* his meal ticket *cough, cough*

Gale: The poor guy has a lot on his mind *and in it*. Forgive him that he really didn't think about figuring out how old you are. “Gale how old were you when you found out you could use magic?” Gale looked up at you watching you playing around with Minor Illusion. “I was about seventeen when Mystra first contacted me.” He said thinking for a moment. “Ohhh that means I’ll be a better wizard than you!” He chuckled hearing You tease him. “You can't be that young.” He jested, his face deadpanning when you admitted you were almost seventeen.

Giving him PTSD from when he first met Mystra

He feeds you first

Feels so guilty about you going to get him magical artifacts

Halsin: Oh he knew, He is over three hundred but he ain't dumb. When you broke him out of Jail he was protective of you, seeing a kid leading and protecting a group of adults broke his heart. “Tav, please rest.” He said softly as he let you sit down. “I have the watch tonight, please get some sleep.” He’s a papa bear. You get hurt, he's there. Can't reach something? Halsins is helping lift you up. He lets you have your respect as a leader but he is always there to be a shoulder to lean on or your own personal Jiminy cricket.

Guard Dog privileges

Will let you sleep on him

Will not let you in the sheresses caress

Jaheira: Mama knew, when you first pulled up to Last Light she swore she saw one of her kids running up to her. “Cub have you eaten?” She’s already going mama mode seeing you haven't slept or eaten. She tears Halsin a new one for not helping you more with Art Cullagh. After the Last Light is attacked and you are standing by her side helping protect her people she feels proud of the next generation and those who are leading it.

She licks her thumb and cleans your face without thinking of it

Teaches you how to haggle

Feels so sorry for you and the trials you must face

Karlach: The baby girl had no idea, she just knows it's fun to rage with you. During a particularly deep rage section, she was surprised when you started to cry. “Soldier?” She asks having to stop herself from hugging and burning you. “I-I’m just scared Karlach.” She listened to you feeling her own tears forming. “I’m not even eighteen, but… Everyone depends on me.” Gods she wanted to hug you, she was raging for you, and because she couldn't hug you.

She works 10x harder to cool down her heart, not just for her, but so she can hold you

Lets you hug Clive as long as you need

Knows how you feel from being shoved into Zariel’s arms at age fifteen

Lae’zel: She doesn't care, You are old enough to hold a sword. In fact your young age and leadership skills just makes her impressed. “I will help train you to fight like a true warrior, not like the teeth-ling.” She does in fact start training you. Dear gods save you, shes got you running laps before the sun comes up.

Proud older sister

Has her own special *violent* way for praising you

Talks about when shes a general of Vlakith and you will be her right-hand

Shadowheart: She and Lae’zel were at each other's throats again when you blew up at them. “You two are fighting like teenagers! And I’m sixteen!” She felt like she got hit by a bag of bricks, you were sixteen, but you had pulled her from the nautiloid, and fought with her out of the hells. “You can't be sixteen.” She said chuckling softly in disbelief, hearing you confirm when you were born she definitely needed some wine to get over that.

Don't know how to act around you

Will give you little candies

Mom said I have to take you with me vibes

Wyll: He found out talking about his pact with you. “Yes, I was seventeen when I signed my pact, but I do not regret it.” He said taking a drink from his goblet. “Man I'm almost seventeen, I wonder what I’ll be like when I'm your age.” Have you ever seen someone shoot wine out their nose? Now you have.

Gets very protective when Mizora shows up

Big brother mode

Piggy back rides when you are tired

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lenreli · 23 hours

Text

Conduit [Dreamling Week Day 2 - Flowers]

[AO3] | [Dreamling Week '24 Masterpost]

E, 2.9k. An innocently given gift becomes much more.

It starts with a simple gift. A flower, a red rose, made from dreams and everlasting, as long as Hob wanted it to last ― and one time, Dream thought of giving him one, in the 15th century, but threw it away, letting it dissolve into nothing before he entered The White Horse.

“It’s beautiful,” Hob whispers, brown eyes glued to the flower in his hands, held so gently and Dream wants, seeing how delicately Hob touches it, one finger going up a soft green stem to the bottom of the rose.

“A gift,” he says as he steps away, mouth dry as Hob continues to softly touch it, a finger softly touching the top of the red petals. “It will never wilt.”

Hob smiles so brightly that Dream’s unsure how the local star can compete as Hob holds it even more delicately, holding it close to his chest as Hob starts to ramble, going on about fake flowers and boutique, avant-garde art that Dream’s present could pass as.

“I’m glad you like it,” Dream whispers, watching as Hob walks around his various knick-knacks for the perfect vase to match it, eventually digging up a thin black vase with golden cracks through it from a spare room. Kinstugi.

It’s as he’s listening to a Nightmare’s concerns that Dream realises, a soft touch flowing through him that he stops, the Nightmare freezing in place.

Then another touch, fluttering inside and Dream vanishes into his room as there’s another touch, near his thighs and he shivers, shutting his eyes at the feeling. And also, to reach out to where the touch originates―

His flower, the red rose, intertwined with him, his yearning as Hob works at his office at university, and Dream gasps as a finger goes through the centre of the rose, arousal coiling the warmth of it so deep inside. Whining, he can see that Hob’s not even paying attention, the fingers pressing into the rose more of a fidget as he works at something on his laptop.

Keening, he can only feel the soft pads of Hob’s fingers inside, warmth pressing against suddenly-made ribs and organs, more for the soft wisps to touch as Hob lightly touches the outside of the petals, moving to the top and Dream can only cry, only aware as the fingers leave, cold returning in their place.

I should stop this, he thinks with harsh clarity―then, he can hear it, the vase being pulled closer to Hob, quiet words whispered to the flower. Not anything focused on Dream, more Hob talking to himself as he works through references and books, warm gusts of breath heating him up as Hob continues to work.

Dream closes his eyes and soaks in the warmth.

He… forgets. To stop it, although next time he visits Hob in his home, he’s glad to know that the rose is nowhere in the vicinity. “My friend!” Hob beams at him, coming closer like he’s going to hug―and then Hob stops.

“Hello,” he offers, strangling the disappointment and bitterness that he feels as Hob moves to get something close to him, a record. “No university today?”

Hob laughs and gets the vinyl record out, putting it softly onto the turntable setup he has “It’s the weekend, Dream!” Hob waves a hand and looks down at his clothes, a threadbare white shirt and blue boxer shorts, “and I was going to get dressed and mark some of my things at The New Inn.”

“Why the music?” Dream frowns and stares at the record spinning, Pink Floyd flooding the house as Hob walks into his kitchen. Eventually following, he finds Hob getting out a sourdough bread and eggs.

“It’s nice while making food, of course,” Hob mumbles, getting more things out of the fridge and other cupboards and Dream watches, the whorls of fingerprints still aching underneath his skin, his ribs.

At his Shores of Creation, working on a multi-limbed dream, he feels a light touch up his back. Stopping his work, he shuts his eyes and can see Hob’s office, hazy and transient as a thumb lightly touches the side of the rose. It’s a gift from a friend, Hob says, eyes soft as they stare down at the rose and Dream’s just-made heart thuds in his chest.

Some friend, huh? Someone else says, voice light and soft and can almost see her expression as Hob laughs, fingers going down the green stem and Dream lets out sound at the touch, hot and sharp from Hob’s nails. The press of it is maddening as a finger fiddles with a leaf on the stem.

He’s very important to me. Shut up, Hob pouts and pulls the rose closer, and Dream lets out a gasp at the touch of lips on top of the rose, on his head.

Okay loverboy, calm down, Hob’s friend says with a laugh and he can feel a huff, Hob’s hand curling tighter around the rose and Dream moans, shaking at the feel of so much, mind stuttering and falling over itself. Stop fondling that and let’s get lunch, you weirdo.

I’m perfectly normal, Hob mutters, and Dream lets out keen as the connection ends, ghostly touch no longer on him. Opening his eyes, he looks up at the sky as he takes a deep breath as he sits up, somehow ending up lying on the sand.

Shivering, Dream puts a hand on his chest, the touch doing nothing as his half-finished creations stare down at him.

The connection flares to life, effectively distracting from a report Mervyn is giving about ― flowers, red petals that he complains are flooding the grounds of the castle. He can feel the cause of that flowers, a touch pressing below the flower itself, at the top of the stem, can see Hob at his desk, a mass of white paper he’s focusing on.

“Again?!” Mervyn complains and stalks off, grumbling and Dream fades back into his bedroom, knowing that working like this wouldn’t be productive. A finger goes down the green stem and Dream gasps, sinking onto his bed as Hob talks to himself ― mainly, about the essays he’s grading, the words blurry and out of focus compared to the hand fiddling with the flower, stroking up and down the stem as Hob yawns and scratches his forehead.

Dream’s skin tingles as Hob seems to notice his other hand on the flower, making him grumble to himself more ― and Dream almost swallows his tongue as Hob brings the flower closer, stubble pressing into the flower ― and into him, as Hob rests his jaw on the petals. The rough, prickly feeling makes him whimper, pleasure heightening to absurd levels so quickly that it makes him dizzy, falling into the sensations even more.

Hob sighs, expression disappointed with what he’s reading and Dream can feel the orgasm approaching as a finger goes up, tracing the edge of a petal ― and the wracking pleasure of coming feels secondary to the way the finger goes inside, pressing softly inside as Hob yawns once more, stretching in his place.

The oversensitivity itches, sharp sensation at the way Hob’s jaw returns to the petal, and a sound is wrenched out of him at the way he can feel soft hair and Dream, as always, feel the urge to reach out to touch the soft skin he can feel, the calluses on the other’s hands.

Spending a morning in on Hob’s lecture is something he’s never getting enough of ― seeing Hob in his element, around people, as he asks questions of his students, and they ask in return. Hob never seems to be awkward around people, bright and engaging, and Dream envies the ease at which Hob carries himself. Even with being a King, it feels awkward and ill-fitting, not right or true, though people never realise it.

“What do you think of―Dream?” Hob asks and he blinks, thoughts crashing since they’re in Hob’s office, and he freezes at the sight of the red flower, still in its black-gold vase. “Dream?”

“Yes?” He blinks, holding himself still as Hob hovers over his desk ― and the flower, insides becoming hot at just the sight of it.

Hob looks down at his desk and shrugs, smiling, “ah. Nevermind. I never got you a gift in return for this, did I?” Hob says softly, a hand hovering above the flower and Dream goes even more still.

“It’s fine,” he replies quickly and Hob blinks, looking at him with confusion as he puts his hand onto the table. Dream relaxes, insides scorching hot at just the thought of previous touches, still imprinted onto him.

“Still, you’re my friend and I’d want to give something to you in return,” Hob sighs and gets out some things from his bag, putting it onto the table.

“You have already given me your friendship, which is enough,” he says as Hob gets out a plastic bento box.

“Even so, might do some sort of thing for you anyway,” Hob says with a grin, shaking his bento, “gonna go heat this up. Won’t be long! Don’t go anywhere. Or, at least, leave a note or something, please,” he continues and Dream nods, watching Hob rush out the door.

Dream gives a wary look to the flower, still as red and green as the day it was made ― and drifts over to Hob’s many books, eventually finding one that seems interesting enough to read while Hob has his lunch break.

Mainly, Dream has been waiting, not much work being done as Mervyn despairs even more over the constant red petals.

Then, a fizzling sensation trails up his back and Dream sinks into the sensation, into his bed. Hob is in his office, a thumb pressing up the back of the stem, staring down at the flower in contemplation and Dream wants. Can feel himself overflow with it as the thumb presses into the petal, pushing in between them and a keen gets pulled out of him.

“Hob,” he whimpers, voice loud and Hob unable to hear it as he whines, arching into it as Hob’s thumb reaches the centre, the feeling all-consuming and rough, calluses scratching against the petals. Hob sighs and rests his face on his other hand, and Dream cries out as the thumb drifts out of the flower, moving to stroke the top of it.

Dream, Hob says, browns furrowing and Dream’s insides twist, gripping at his hair as Hob continues to stare―

―Then falls against the desk, fast asleep, fingers leaving the flower―

“Dream?” Hob says, in his realm, in his room, pulled along by Dream’s crushing want.

“Touch me,” he whines, almost out of his mind with the sudden lack of feeling as Hob gapes, eyes round, in the leather jacket, pants and top he was probably wearing, beard more like 1389.

“But I was just―” Hob pauses and hovers over him, still looking but not touching―and Hob lets out a sound as Dream’s clothes vanish, as Dream grabs onto the other’s wrist. “Dream―”

“You will not touch me?” He breathes, looking up from his lashes. Hob lets out a whine, and he shivers as a hand presses against his chest, nails lightly scratching down his torso.

“I―I do, I want, it’s just. Do you really? Want this?” Hob leans over him, his other hand caressing Dream’s side, still hesitant.

“Did you not hear me?” He growls, urging the hand he’s grabbed onto to go lower. “I want you,” he whispers, watching as Hob shivers, gulping loudly in the room. “I want you inside, to feel that fully and wholly,” he states, pulling Hob closer until Hob gasps.

“I, um. Fuck,” Hob breathes, lips so close to his own ― and he moans as Hob kisses him, as hands go down to his hips, the musk of him rich and moreish, mouth tasting of spices. “And the, um. The flower?” Hob squeaks, eyes on his lower half ― at the black flower at his groin, petals unfurling out onto his thighs, his stomach, the centre cluster of it wet and leaking.

“That flower I gave you,” he breathes, arching into Hob’s fingers, gently stroking the edge of the petals on him, knowing it’s not the answer Hob’s expecting, “accidentally I made a connection with it ― to be touched like that flower, and ever since I’ve felt it, your fingerprints engraved on the inside of me as you touched and fondled that flower.”

Hob groans, other hand going into his hair as they kiss, Hobs’ tongue probing his mouth as the other hand goes closer to the centre, dipping into the folds of the flower and making him whine. “Whenever I touched it, I thought of you, wanting to touch you too, but not knowing if you’d―” Hob strangles out, fingers reaching even deeper into him and pleasure bubbles and fizzles, some far-off part of him wondering if that’s why the flower became a conduit, both of their yearning converging onto the dreamstuff that made it.

“I would like for you to stop being a tease,” he grabs onto Hob’s clothes, getting rid of them with a thought and they gasp as their skin touches.

Hob laughs, wild and cracked as he bites down his neck, making Dream moan at the feeling, “I’m still wrapping my head around this, cut me some slack,” Hob speaks into his collarbone, “and this,” Hob’s fingers crook inside the part of the flower and he keens, a hand threading through Hob’s chest hair, other hand gripping onto the back of Hob’s neck, “this is just so ― you’re so beautiful.”

Dream tries to say something, but he can only shudder as fingers leave him, ghosting over the petals, closer to the his leaking centre, watching through his lashes as Hob stares at him reverently. And looking down, Dream can see how hard Hob’s cock is, still not inside ― so he digs his nails into Hob’s neck and pulls him down, their mouths meeting desperately as a hard cock brushes against him, feeling pre-come dripping down his petals.

“Fuck,” Hob swears, language going more Old English as they rut against each other, petals sliding against the hardness so―Dream gasps, feeling fingers go into the centre, twisting roughly and making pleasure jolt through him. “How do you―you feel so soft, like silk,” Hob breathes, nails scratching against his walls and he shivers.

Putting his other hand into Hob’s hair, his thumb presses the silvers under it―then pulls him in for a brutal kiss, biting into his mouth as Hob whines and shudders against him, fingers twitching sporadically inside him. “And yet,” he doesn’t finish, their mouths connected by a string of saliva, for little how they part.

Hob swallows, eyes dark as his fingers slip out. “It’s not my fault. I’d want to play for hours if you’d let me,” he says, licking his lips as Hob lines himself up, making Dream scrabble to hold onto the other’s back as his cock finally slides in.

“After,” he manages, eyes rolling to the back of his head as Hob starts to fuck him, walls clenching tightly around the other’s cock as it slides out, then pushes back in.

Dream comes either after hours or seconds, time stretching as he is already so coiled tight from lingering ghost touches, flower at his groin curling up tightly around the other’s cock as bliss rocks through him. Hob follows him shortly, gasping as their fluids mix and leak out of him.

Dream is floating, mind clear and feeling the sensations, even after Hob’s gone back to the Waking World.

Then there’s a familiar connection, a thumb pressed against the edge of the red flower. Dream, Hob says, the hazy connection showing his home and Dream blinks, sitting up as he puts on a sheer black robe and steps into Hob’s apartment. “You’re lucky I keep spare clothes at work after that,” Hob points out, nail dragging under the top of a flower petal ― and Dream bites down a moan.

“I ― apologise,” he whines, nails and calluses pressing against his skin as a thumb goes into the outer layer of the rose.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Dream,” Hob says, a nail pressing against the bottom of the rose and Dream kneels underneath the touches. “You did say we could play after though. If you still want.”

Hob walks closer, the smell of him more concentrated in the Waking, sharp and floral ― or some of that might be the rose still in his hand, other fingers dancing along the outside of the flower and Dream’s mind scrambles under so much as he rests his head against Hob’s thigh. “Yes.”

A dual touch, a finger sliding inside a petal, inside him, as well as Hob’s other hand touching his hair, pulling a moan out of him as Hob kneels down next to him. Buzzing with pleasure, he stares at the other’s dark eyes as Hob tugs him in for a kiss, hair roughly held in his fingers ― the finger in the flower also pressing against the bottom of the flower and he shivers, the touch inside and deep.

The dual touch may be a lot, but the lack of it is even worse as Hob gets up, leaving him cold as nails scratch up the stem, and he somehow manages to get up, latching onto Hob’s waist as they kiss.

[Fin]

#dc #the sandman #dreamling #dreamling fanfic #dream x hob #hob x dream #hob x morpheus #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dreamling week #dreamling week 2024 #writing #not sfw #enjoyed this one a lot

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