#sorry i just. i want to share how MANY similarities there are its just SO funny... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nikkisheep · 10 months

Text

To Be Alone With You

Anthony Bridgerton x female!Sharma!reader

Warnings: Smut, TENSION, cursing, oral (f), reader is Kate's full sister, kissing, touching when not supposed to, Anthony and his voice (warning himself), virgin reader (innocent ofc), sex on a dock (lol), kinda public sex, slight angst

I am so sorry that it got so long but it is so worth it. This is also my first Bridgerton fic so hope its good. :)

Summary: It was time that Anthony Bridgerton to finally meet the final Sharma sister who may stand in his way of marrying Miss Edwina Sharma but not like he expected her to.

Anthony Bridgerton was a man who was used to having any woman melt and cling to his every word. Women practically threw themselves at his feet the moment he walked in the room. His presence was a strong one, making everyone eager to please the viscount.

When Viscount Bridgerton met Edwina Sharma, the newly named "Diamond of the Season", he was happy that he could find at least one woman with half a brain. Miss Edwina was the suitable bride and soon Viscountess. It was almost too easy, so he thought. That was until he met the elder sister of Miss Edwina. Kate Sharma, a woman of one and twenty who was unwed herself, was a challenge that Anthony could not refuse. He fell into a pursuit to win over the eldest Sharma sister, doing everything by the book. Well, with a few exceptions.

The Viscount did not want a love match. He could never fall in love with the woman who will bear his children. He just couldn't. And Miss Edwina Sharma was exactly the woman who he could not possibly love but, she would make a wonderful bride for him to breed and come to have a heir to fill the Viscount role when Anthony died.

A last, his mother, Viscountess Violet Bridgerton, had invited the Sharma family to visit the lovely Aubrey Halls. It would be Mrs. Mary Sharma, the lovely girls' mother, Miss Edwina Sharma and then Miss Kate Sharma. Anthony was ready to deal with Kate when she arrived.

---

Dinner was being served when the thunder started. Benedict seemed like he had lost his mind, no doubt had drank Colin's tea that he brought from his travels.

"Have you noticed, Col?" Benedict asked, "The twinkles of the candles, it is as....as if we sit among the stars."

Eloise snorted and looked to her older brother, "What is wrong with you?''

"I was just telling Benedict how brilliant the stars were in Greece," answered Colin.

Benedict went to take a sip of his wine but knocked it over, causing Violet and the other ladies to gasp at the table. The brother smiled and rubbed his hands over his cheeks in an innocent way.

"Lord Bridgerton, Miss Sharma here," A butler said.

"Whatever do you mean, Miss Sharma is here? How many are there?"

In just a few seconds a woman walks in, wearing the similar purple dress that the Sharma sisters were wearing. She looked identical to Kate, except her eyes were lighter. Her hair was more brown than black and she held her head high. Her presence was enough to even sober up Benedict for a moment.

"Is it just me or is there two Kates?" Benedict said, mind foggy.

"I am so sorry for my late arrival. Lady Bridgerton, the house is lovely." The woman said.

Violet blushed and thanked the woman. The older woman always enjoyed getting compliments about her home that she shared with Edmund.

"You said you couldn't make it," Edwina states as she moves to hug the woman. Everyone was confused as a goose until Kate stood up.

"This is my sister," Kate said, moving to stand by her.

You introduce yourself and smile at everyone, that is until you see Anthony. He had this look about him and you couldn't quite tell.

"I assume this is the viscount you were telling me about, Kate?" You said.

"Yes, this is Lord Bridgerton. He is the viscount and is to marry Edwina."

You looked at him and he just smirked. He had found a new toy to play with. And god did he want to play.

You looked at him.

"My lord, forgive me for my tartiness," You say, voice rich.

"All is forgiven, my lady." He had a hard look.

"Please, I am hardly a noble lady to earn that title,'' You tease.

Anthony was taken by surprise, no one had ever teased about their noblity or anything. Being a proper lady is very serious and not taken lightly. There was another Sharma sister, but at least this one seemed nice. For now.

---

You were quite the most annoying and challenging lady Anthony had the misery to meet. You talked too much, you jested a bit, your teasing with Benedict made his blood boil. Your words melting off your tongue and practically bringing Anthony's younger brother to his knees.

Benedict's face had blushed right before you move to rest your hand on his shoulder.

"My dear, Benedict, how are you?" You asked kindly, flashing that beautiful smile that made everyone melt.

"I am quite well, Miss Sharma." He looked down right flustered with your presence beside him.

Lady Bridgerton held a small ball at Aubrey Hall and Benedict had just finished dancing with you. The two of you had swept through the floor, everyone in envy that Mr. Bridgerton's attention was solely on you.

"Brother, I hate to steal our guest from you but I am in need of a dance," Anthony stepped in to say.

"I suppose that I have one dance in me," You laughed.

"I hadn't asked yet," Anthony said.

"Well, in that case, Benedict you wouldn't mind having yet another dance with me?" You smirked when Anthony rolled his eyes and groaned.

Once you got on the dance floor, Anthony could not keep his eyes off you, even as he danced with Edwina and Kate.

"My brother seems to be taking a liking to you," Benedict smiled.

"Please, he wants to marry my sister. After all, who even said I wanted him. Maybe I want you," You whisper the last part in his ear. He shudders against you and smiles.

"Is that true now, Miss Sharma?"

"Perhaps."

----

Pall Mall was the ruthless game that the Bridgerton's ever played. The Mallet of Death sat in your hands as Benedict had handed it to you with a wink and a sly smile. You blushed at the brother's antics.

He moved to be closer to you and whispered something in your ear which made you snort aloud and Kate looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Who has my bloody mallet?" Anthony's voice boomed in the air.

"My lord, I do not know," Kate smirked.

"Where is it?"

You coughed to clear your throat, suddenly bringing the Viscount's attention to you. That might have been a bad idea. It surely was.

"You...You have my mallet, I believe."

"I do?" You inquired.

"Yes, Miss Sharma, you do."

"Well, I suppose that I could just give it to you," You start to hand it to him, his siblings surprised at how easy you were giving it up, and Anthony was smiling, "But first you will have to catch me." You took off running down the field and Anthony just watched in surprise.

"Did she?"

"I believe she did," Daphne laughed. She watched as her older brother looked as if he wanted to blow up.

"Dear brother, I think you should go get her if that mallet is very important to you." Colin laughed as Anthony ran down the field, looking for you as the Mallet of Death rested in your possession.

He ran looking for you and he heard your sweet giggle coming from in the garden. He looked to see that everyone had given up on waiting for them and started the match without the two of you. He walked around the garden to find you crouching behind a hedge and was covering your mouth as you looked around the side of the bush, hoping to not be seen.

His boots moved to quietly as he stalked closer to your frame. He then grabbed your waist and picked you up, causing you to gasp into his hand.

"Lord Bridgerton, put me down this instant."

He placed you down on the ground and stands close to your body. His warmth and scent poured over you in waves. He smelt like sweat, dirt, body wash, slight scent of vanilla, and sandalwood?

"Lord Bridger-"

"Anthony, my name is Anthony." He said, panting at the closeness that he had created.

"My lord-"

"Anthony."

"My lord, it is improper to call you by your given name," You say, trying to catch your breath and not breathe his scent in.

"And us being in my mother's garden alone is very improper, I dare say, Miss Sharma."

Your smell floods his senses when he takes a deep breath and move closer to you, chests touching. The smell of dirt, sweat, lilies and Jasmine? God, it drove him crazy. Just being around you drove him crazy.

"You followed me here.''

"You ran here."

"You chased me."

"You took my mallet."

"I-" You stutter, "Benedict gave it to me."

He looks at you with something dark in his eyes, something that burned with fiery. His hand came to touch your waist and you nearly melt. He looks at your chest, noticing that you were wearing the Bridgerton color. You normally wore purple but you were wearing the baby blue that stood for his family.

"You are wearing my family color," He says, blood rushing some where it did not need to be.

"Oh, I had not known that I wasn't allowed to wear blue."

"It stands for my family and you...are...wearing...my...color."

His body presses closer to you, invading your space. He moves to corner you against the tall hedge, the only thing keeping your situation from any on lookers.

His mouth moves to rest beside your ear, hot breath fanning over the exposed skin there, goosebumps rising on your skin.

"You want something, I can sense it."

You shudder.

"And what would that be, my lord?"

"You want me," He said lowly.

"You are to marry Edwina," You correct him.

"That doesn't change that you desire me," He chuckles at your attempt.

"I beg your pardon. You are a rake and I have no desire for such a person like you. You are to marry my sister, not me. If you wish to be with my sister than act like it, if not then leave her alone. I will not be some play thing for you to play with when you want to."

"Oh but you are my play toy. You are whatever I want you to be. Do you know why?" He asked.

"Why?"

"Because all I have to do is whisper real close to your ear, like this," He moved even closer, "And tell you that I desire you in ways that would make any mama blush and cry out for improper topics to a lady."

You take in a ragged breath.

"Desire me?"

"Yes, why do you think I came out here to get you?"

"To get your mallet?"

"No, so I can have you."

" You are courting my sister to marry. I am done with this topic and I am leaving this garden. Good day, Lord Bridgerton."

---

Anthony was reeling. He couldn't stop thinking about you. He can't sleep at night because of you. It wasn't your fault. No, it was your fault. You were the one who kept reminding him of his soon to be proposal to your sister and putting him in his place. Heavens above, he couldn't help but be aroused when you put him where he was meant to be. And that perfume that you have, Jasmine and Lillies, god it did things to him.

---

The day had been hot, very hot and you knew that you shouldn't but you were burning for a swim in the lake. You couldn't help it. After being in the garden with the Viscount, it felt you aflame.

Sneaking out of your chambers, you made your way outside to the lake that rested toward the trees.

Looking around, you made sure that no one was up and you were making sure that you were not followed. You made your way to a tree and took off your coat. Yo began your task of unbuttoning your gown.

Anthony watched you remove each piece of fabric from your body as he made his way down to the lake himself. He had not known that you were going to be here. He had not expected it. He always goes for a midnight swim when he couldn't sleep. Why he couldn't sleep? You.

Slipping onto the dock, you take a dive, cold water enveloping your body. It felt heavenly against your heated skin. Anthony was never to be allowed to know that he was the reason behind the midnight swim in the lake. You swam to the middle and was sighing while looking up to the moon. The entire lake was lit by the moon, banishing all shadows from being cast onto your face. You looked angelic.

Anthony slipped in the water after stripping completely bare and went underwater. He wanted to see you move about when you were by yourself. He had wanted to see you nude, part of his mind begging him to see what you looked like, but you were still a lady and he was a gentleman.

You heard a splash and you turned around very quickly, spotting none other than Anthony Bridgerton. You knew you were caught and he would laugh at you but he just swam closer. You could only see his shoulders and water was dripping down them to be collected back to the lake.

"My lord-"

"I do believe that we are now way past formalities," He chuckled.

He was silently begging to hear his name fall from your lips. He knew this was wrong. You were his betrothed sister. You were a lady. You were innocent. If he took that from you, you would be ruined. But...but you looked so desirable. You looked just ready to be ravished by his mouth. To be tasted in places that you had never thought of to be touched. To be submitted to such incredible pleasure that Anthony knew that he could bring you. To be his.

He swam closer to you, grabbing your hand which he used to pull you until you were placing your hands on his shoulders to hold onto. You gasped at how warm he still was, even in the chilled water of the night. Anthony looked at you, smiling when he realizes that you move even closer, your legs brushing every time you move to keep yourselves afloat.

"I want you," He admits.

He kisses your lips, groaning when you kiss back only for a second before he feels himself being pushed away from you.

"You are engaged to my sister," You say.

"Not yet."

"But-"

"But, I want you. I don't want Edwina. I don't want Kate. I want you," He says, "I desire you."

Anthony kissed your lips once more, swallowing any sound coming from your mouth. His tongue brushed yours and you moaned. You had never done that but with Anthony, you felt so good you couldn't keep it inside.

Anthony had you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling something quite odd in between his legs but you didn't question it when he took your breast into his awaiting mouth. He sucked your nipple and ran his tongue around it as he teased you mercilessly. Your hair was down so it was hanging in the water as you threw your head back in bliss as he moved to bite at your collarbones and neck.

Anthony moved the two of you all the way to the dock, picking you up out of the water and seating you directly onto the hard wood. He then watches as you move back, suddenly aware of how exposed you are to him. He puts his hands on the dock and pushes himself out of the water, droplets trickling down his slightly hairy chest down to his now every noticeable something. You didn't know what on earth it could even be.

"What is that?" You said shyly, pointing to his hips.

"That would be my cock." He just chuckled.

"It looks hard," You said, "does it hurt?"

He groaned at your innocence. God, you were going to be the death of him. You looked so nervous to even ask and then when you did, you blushed deeply. You were so cute.

"It hurts some times when I desire someone really bad," He explained.

"Like Edwina? Did it ever hurt for Edwina or Kate?" You asked softly.

"No, never with them. I want you," He said, holding your face, "God, you consume every thought that I make. You make it so, so hard to be a gentleman. There is no way that I can escape you, no matter how hard I try because you are always in my mind."

He kissed you once more and you let him. You were going to forget about Edwina, who the man currently moving in between your legs and kissing every inch of your body, was supposed to get married to. You were going to forget the rules of being a proper lady. You were going to forget formalities and just revel in the pleasure that is being caused by the mouth of your sister's soon to be betrothed.

"Anthony!" You cried when he made contact with the little bud between your folds and he licked it. Your body was shot with electricity that sent your back to be arching.

He hummed against your core and went back to sucking on your clit. No one or nothing could have prepared you for the Viscount's tongue to slip inside of you. He had done so when you were pulling on his hair as you grasped for anything but you could not find anything to ground you. Anthony swept you away in pure pleasure as he ate you like a starved man. He drank anything your body was willing to give and he took it with a groan. His eyes rolled back as he tasted you.

"Oh, my lord-"

"It's Anthony. Just Anthony," He said before staring at your weeping cunt.

Your hands pulled at the man's hair and his other hand, that wasn't holding down your hips, moved up to grab a hold of your free hand that was gripping your breast. Your back arched when he made one last circle with his tongue on your clit and you burst with carnal desire. You shook against Anthony's mouth as he drank you in.

He thought you were so beautiful laying out for him, under the stars on his dock, wet hair after a late night swim and most of all, the way the moon shone down on you. You looked ever so innocent but oh so dirty.

"Are you okay?" He asked when he noticed you not moving but still shaking.

"I'm more than okay."

He laughed and began kissing up your body. His tongue poked out every once and a while as he traveled up to your mouth. The taste of yourself was erotic. You had never known something could exist. Anthony moved on top of you and positioned himself so that his cock would rest between your sensitive folds. He had to contain himself so that he wouldn't cum right on the spot.

You gave him a nod before he claimed your lips as he pushed himself inside your waiting body. You moaned out loud before you started panting against Anthony's mouth as the two of you tried to adjust to the sudden feeling. His arms shook as his head fell onto your chest as your hand ran through his hair, pulling slightly.

"Are you ready for me to move because if you aren't that's okay but I really need to move?" Water trickled down his body as he held himself above you, looking down at you.

"Please, Anthony." He smiled at his name and started to slowly pull out, letting you feel every ridge and vein his dick possessed and you were enjoying it. Anthony thrusted back in and your head fell back against the wooden dock. As Anthony thrusted his cock in and out of you, the only things that could be heard was your labored breathing and the sounds of your bodies moving against each other as the two of you reached new heights together and the sound of crickets chirping in the grass.

"Oh, god you feel so good," Anthony groaned.

"So fucking good," You panted, hips rising to match his. You were chasing something but you didn't know what. You didn't even know what was happening when your muscles started to tighten and some kind of euphoria started to crash down on you.

Anthony's breathing got caught in his throat as he watched your face contort in pleasure as he pumped himself constantly in you, trying to reach his end. He looked at your blissful face and decided that you would give him another.

"Just one more, darling, and then I can fill you up real nice." His hand went in between your legs as he watched himself move inside and out of you. His thumb began circling your clit, his cock hitting the right spots every time, his face tightening in desirable lust as he held himself above you, moving faster, trying to make you cum for a third time before he got his.

"Oh, Anthony!" You moan before he places a kiss on your lips to silence you. You cum one last time and Anthony unloads himself completely in you once bottoming out inside you. You laid there with him as he felt the aftershocks of his orgasm and you shuddered at the sudden cold.

Anthony kisses you lazily as he feels you giggle against his lips when he sighs into you. He pulls out and then shudders at the cold.

"I think we should go get some nice warm milk and sit by the fire to warm up," He proposes.

"Won't we get caught?"

"Darling, we just had sex on the dock in front of my house and you are worried about getting caught with some milk by the fire?" He laughed.

"Well, I can't be seen with you alone."

"Fine, but let's get dressed and go inside so we can sleep."

"In the same room?" You ask in a quiet voice.

"Not yet. We might get caught."

"Maybe getting caught wouldn't be so bad then," You giggle when you see his bare ass.

"Oh you are a little minx," Anthony groans.

"Maybe," You gasp when he picks you up after you get dressed and then carries you inside.

He takes you to your room and puts you down so you can stand. He doesn't want to let go but he knows he needs to leave soon.

''Good night, Miss Sharma." He said with a kiss.

"Good night, Lord Bridgerton," You sigh against his lips.

The kiss is passionate but is cut short when the clock decided to strike three and make a loud noise. You both laugh and he sees you close the door and he then walks to his chambers.

He finally can go to sleep with a smile on his face. A smile that didn't disappear the following day until he realized that he had to propose to your sister, Edwina Sharma.

#anthony bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton smut #anthony bridgerton smut #anthony bridgerton x sharma!reader #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton fanfiction #anthony bridgerton x female!reader #anthony bridgerton x reader smut #anthony bridgerton fanfiction #anthony bridgerton x reader #bridgerton s2

2K notes · View notes

coolshadowtwins · 1 month

Text

SVSSS System Reveal Fic round up!

If you know one that hasn’t been recc’ed, then please put it in the comments/tags! I’ll add it to the post!

A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk into the Bamboo House by VeryCharismaticDragon

Over a year after Shen Qingqiu's death, Luo Binghe consults his servant's servant, concurrently his disgraced martial uncle, for a way to bring the love of his life back. Shang Qinghua sends him in the direction of a certain time-traveling artifact, which supposedly brings one to the day they first met their soulmate.

Odd, though, that the artifact ends up missing the destination by just a few years…

A story in which post-Abyss Luo Binghe relives his disciple days, while juggling his secrets, traumas, and some unexpected revelations about the man he loves on top of that.

What is Seen by CaveteDracones

…is not [always] the real truth.

Truth-compelling artifacts in the hands of an enemy to one side, SYSTEM-mandated silence on the other, and Shen Qingqiu caught between the two. Is it too late to go back to the Water Prison? (NOTE: This one was recommended three times, and I have personally reread it multiple times. It’s one of my favorites and I really do want to read more fics in a similar vein lol)

open my lungs to let you in by ghostybreads

Shen Qingqiu had a secret. So, naturally, it was only a matter of time before he was hit by a truth serum wife plot.

“How are you?”

“Horny. Kind of want Binghe to rail me, I guess. But it’s manageable.”

Liu Qingge’s hand on his forehead froze, and he was close enough that Shen Qingqiu could hear his breathing stop. He stared back expressionlessly, the mortification distantly crawling up the back of his neck. Honest One-Horned–

The frustrated scream that he usually vented in his head, came out straight from mouth.

“aaAAAAAHHHH GODDAMNIT AIRPLANE–”

Futility in Practice by TGP

When Luo Binghe is fourteen years old, his shizun suffers a terrible qi deviation and fever that completely changes who he is.

and judgment is just like a cup that we share by Kieron_ODuibhir

The blob finished rotating into place in a way that wasn’t quite compatible with geometry as Shen Qingqiu understood it, and cleared a throat it didn’t seem to have.

“Greetings,” it said, somehow clearly addressing him in particular more than the room as a whole despite its total lack of features other than blueness and translucency. “I’m here on behalf of the Hyper-Celestial Peace and Order Enforcement Bureau. Crime scene secure, proceeding to interviews. Beginning with Subject One: You are Shen Qingqiu, formerly Shen Yuan, also known as Peerless Cucumber?”

First, do no harm by Terias

Shen Qingqiu has been acting especially erratic since awakening from his three day coma after a severe qi deviation.

Mu Qingfang investigates and discovers a great many things about his new shixiong. (NOTE: This one has Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu as the same soul, technically, but it still works I think!)

Show The Screenshots by A_Non_ymousWriter

When a rogue foreign System sends out a subtle virus, some outsiders are shown chat messages between a certain two transmigrators and their Systems.

AirplaneBro: nah dude shen jiu would never lay a hand on his female disciples like that, hes gay

Liu Qingge tripped on thin air while Mu Qingfang choked on his tea as Shang Qinghua (their god? creator??) casually shattered their view of their original Shen Qingiu. The fake Shen Qingqiu at least, was sharing their shock.

CucumberBro: EXCUSE ME WHAT??

CucumberBro: The fuck he is?!?! He literally GOES TO BROTHELS! LIU QINGGE FOUND HIM IN BED WITH A WOMAN THAT ONE TIME?

AirplaneBro: aight bro buckle the fuck up cuz imma take u on a joyride all about shen jiu >:)

—————-

Binghes#1Fan: I don't want to send Binghe into the Abyss...

System 2: User must comply, if User cannot do the task User will be punished and the account will be terminated.

Mobeis #1Fan: sorry bro unless ur okay w being ded af u gotta push binghe into the abyss

Ning Yingying's fists clenched. Okay, so trying to get Yuan-ge and A-Luo together would be harder than she thought.

#svsss #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #shang qinghua #liu qingge #yue qingyuan #luo binghe #shen jiu #fic rec #fanfic rec #system reveal

200 notes · View notes

satorusugurugurl · 17 days

Note

That angst fic 😵‍💫😵‍💫 got me thinking, what about a similar smut fic where when reader is stressed and overworked the boys try to be gentle and caring but all she wants is to be rough fucked, degraded, the works. She has to plead with them but they eventually cave. But once they are done it’s back to soft and sweet aftercare. So basically, open masochist reader :3 I could also lowkey imagine reader being insecure about wanting it to be rough and mean, I see so much stuff of people demonizing it on social media, definitely makes it something that is difficult to be open about. I think a lot of ppl also get it confused with CNC which is not the same thing. Consent and safety are what matters

-🍭

Salty and Sweet

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, FAB!Reader

Warning content: smut, dirty talk, vulgar language, , Satoru is a bit hesitant

Word Count: 1,680

A/N: Anon, you have inspired me. This is a little blurb of what I could see happening in a case like this! I’m working on Escort!Gojo and another request! I was hoping to have that request done tonight (but it’s taken a life of its own) I try to post once a day, but I’ve been working ten-hour days for the last two weeks, so I’m exhausted. 😵‍💫

Your boyfriends watched as you paced back and forth, arms crossed as you chewed on your bottom lip. You had mentioned wanting to talk to them about trying something new, but you seemed to be hesitant and struggling to find the right words. If they were being honest, it was almost cute seeing you struggle to voice what you wanted. The timid, innocent side of you was so adorable the duo wanted to smother you with kisses and cuddles.

“I don’t know if I can say it!” You yelled out, tilting your head back with a groan.

Suguru smiled, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “You can tell us anything, Y/N. Trust me, this is a safe space.” While his words were comforting, you still found yourself hesitant to voice your wants.

“Suguru’s right. There’s only one way to know if we’re okay with what you want us to try.” Satoru added, leaning back against the couch with a yawn.

“I know! I know!” Your flustered tension was shifting into more frustration. “I just don’t want you to, ya know, think that I’m some deviant.”

Satoru and Suguru shared a look; their years of friendship always came out in times like these; they both held hands in front of their mouth before leaning in close to each other. Their voices dropped maybe a tone as they fake whispered to each other.

“Do you wanna tell her or me?”

“You tell her that being in a poly-relationship is pretty deviant.”

“Oh yeah, for sure!”

Satoru’s head jerked in your direction with a devious smirk. “Hey, you kno—“ Satoru smacked his lips together the instant he saw how flushed you were, how you hugged yourself as tight as you could while you watched them in mortification. “Y/N, hey, no, it’s okay.” The duo stood from their spots on the couch, their stomachs dropping as you dropped your head, focusing on the ground.

Whatever it was that you wanted to try had you twisted in knots of unease and shyness. “Please, for once, can you guys take me seriously.” The room was like being in the eye of a hurricane before it hit. “This is hard for me to say because many people misinterpret what I wanted in the past. I don’t want to scare you guys off or have you look at me any differently.” Suguru put a reassuring hand on your back, gently rubbing it up and down, encouraging you to continue while Satoru gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Sorry, please tell us.”

“Yeah, we won’t look at you any differently.”

A bitter scoff escaped the back of your throat. “You say that now, but so many people in the past demonized what I wanted and got it confused with different kinks.”

“Y/N, come on, babe, just tell us.”

With a deep breath, you sighed with a nod. “Okay, just promise you’ll at least consider what I’m asking. You can take as much time as you need.” Both your boyfriends nodded in understanding. Fuck, your hands were clammy as you shook them out. Now was the time. “I-I want you both to be mean to me in bed.” You blurted out.

You waited for the worst reactions. Like them pulling away from you in disgust, asking a million questions, or wanting to comply with your desires. Which was fine. They were not required to do what you wanted in bed.

Neither of them did anything close to that. They just hummed, watching you, waiting for you to continue like they wanted you to specify what that meant. What you wanted, how you wanted it, when you longed for this to occur. You were waiting a second more for your glance up between your dark-haired boyfriend before your gaze drifted to Satoru.

“Okay, so, I was hoping maybe we could have really rough sex? Maybe you could degrade me, be a little nastier?”

Gojo’s beautiful ivory skin was dusted with a faint blush, his eyes leaving you before focusing on Suguru. “I don’t have much experience in that; could you give me some pointers, Suguru?” Suguru didn’t need to answer because one second you were standing between them, and the next you were over his shoulder with Gojo trailing behind like a puppy.

Minutes passed, or maybe it had been hours. It was hard to tell with all the oxytocin and dopamine that flooded your brain. Your wants and needs were finally embraced for the first time. Suguru took the lead, and fuck Satoru was right. Suguru did have pointers for him.

“Oooh~ you nasty fucking slut.” Suguru degraded his hands wrapped in your hair, forcing you to choke on Satoru’s cock. “Taking two cocks at once like a dirty nasty fucking whore.”

”S-Suguru, do you have to be so mean?” Satoru was struggling a bit more to really get into the whole degrading you thing. He wasn't uncomfortable with it, more so that he wasn’t sure how to do it. He needed practice to ease himself out of the role as a soft dom and more into a hard, demanding dom.

Suguru cocked a dark eyebrow up at his boyfriend as his cock slammed in and out of your dripping pussy. “Mean?” He pulled your hair lifting you off Satoru’s cock. “I’m not being mean in the slightest. Look at our dirty slut.” Following Suguru’s demands, Satoru looked down at you, his cock twitching as you both made eye contact.

You were a drooling mess. Eyes rolled back into your head as Suguru snapped his hips forward, causing a yelp to rise from your throat. Your hair was a disheveled mess, tears were staining your cheeks, and goddamn, you looked like you were having so much fucking fun.

“M-More~” you begged, tongue lolling out as Suguru pucked up the pace of his thrusts. “M-More, please!”

”Oh, Oh!” Suguru smirked, releasing your hair, causing your head to drop into Satoru’s bare lap. “You heard her, Satoru, the greedy little whore wants more.”

“Yeah?” Satoru gently stroked strands of hair out of your face as you struggled to keep your head up. “You want a more sweet girl?”

”Y-Yeah, I do.”

Satoru needed some form of guidance, so he looked up to his best friend. His dark hair pulled over his right shoulder, his dark eyes transfixed on your head. “Go on, Satoru, give her what she wants.” The way Suguru purred Satoru’s name had you both shivering.

”Okay, okay,” Satoru gently pulled your hair, “you’re going to suck my cock like a good girl, aren’t you?”

”Y-Yes Satoru, I’ll suck it for you, I’ll suck it, so go—oooh!!” Suguru slapped Satoru’s hand away. ”Naggh! Ah fuck S-Sugu!”

”You’re doing it all wrong, you himbo.” Satoru gritted his teeth as Suguru forced your mouth down onto his cock again. “She wants you to be fucking mean. Trust me. I feel her slutty fucking cunt clenching around me. She loves this, don’t you, Y/N?” All you could do was hum in response, deepthroating Satru breathing through your nose. “Look at her, being a greedy fucking whore, getting all her holes filled at once.”

Between the warmth of your mouth and the tears in your eyes, Satoru’s balls tightened, his ab’s flexing as he gently began fucking into your mouth. “Fucking slut.” Satoru’s words had you whimpering around him, and you bobbed your head faster, eager for him to degrade you more.

”That’s more like it, Satoru!” Suguru grinned, his free hand reaching down, rubbing your cit in fast circles. “Keep talking to her like that. She’s getting so close.”

You mumbled in agreement, only to have your words choked off by the fat cock forcing its way further down your throat. “What was that? You want to cum bitch?” You could only gag. “Ah, sorry, it’s hard to hear you when you're gagging on my cock.”

You gagged, cried, and trembled as both men fucked into you ruthlessly, your walls clamped down, eyes rolling back as you clutched the sheets so hard you were surprised that they didn’t rip as your orgasm hit you. It was so intense, wave after wave of pleasure! You moaned and gagged around Satoru’s cock; the white-haired man let out a whimper as he fucking his cum down your throat, biting his lip as your tight cunt hugged Suguru so tight you fell against you back, rutting into you like some animal in rut.

“Oh fuck princess, oh fuck, you want all my cum~? Hm? Then take it!” With one final deep thrust, Suguru came inside your still-twitching cunt. “Oooh fucking hell! That’s it, milk me bitch, milk me for all I got!” It was somewhere in between that moment that Gojo gently pulled you off his sensitive cock. “H-Haah shit baby.”

“S-She felt so good.”

This was heaven. You were in heaven with your boyfriends. You felt so satisfied, so normal, and thankful as the two of them were not at all shaming you for your kinks. God, thinking about all of the nasty little things they would say and do to you from now on turned you on.

“Felt good?” you panted roughly as Suguru smirked. “you honestly thought this skank would be content with one orgasm? No, we're nowhere near being done, are we, princess?” You were lifted with ease by Suguru as he planted you directly in Satoru’s lap. “Let’s continue, shall we?” His cock brushed over your bottom lip. “Safeword is pineapple.”

314 notes · View notes

cherryredstars · 7 months

Note

HI OH MY GOSH i read your fic where the reader tutors miguel and im so Hngghuagsg its amazing youre so good at writing<33

i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if you could write a similar situation with like reader who's not exactly quiet, maybe someone who doesnt even like take the subjects he takes, but he passes by her in the hallway, she's known by people in his classes, she has friends and she talks to everyone but him. and he doesnt know why, (ik its a stretch but could the reader have acne in so many fics i see readers being kissed on the forehead and im like i have acne there he wouldnt want to kiss it :"D)

little does he know that she, whos normally not a shy person is shy to talk to him because she likes him and like she cant fathom him liking her back, she;s...just her. shes not special, or even like a topper. she's just there. and she couldnt be more further from the truth

im so sorry if this is confusing its long and a bit confusing but id love to see what youd do with it<3 thank you

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x Insecure!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Slight Insecurity, Mentions of Acne, Slightly Jealous Miguel

Summary: All he wants is your attention.

A/N: So cute, so cute, so cute

Word Count: 1.8K (Barely Edited)

You remind him of a mouse.

Always running away before he can fully register that you’re there. Always skirting around his field of vision in the halls as you walk past and purposely quiet your voice to not alert him. It frustrates him. Knowing that you’re there and not at the same time. It pains him because he knows you only do it when it’s him. He isn’t even around you constantly, but he knows there is a difference in the way you act around him.

He knows you’re usually an energetic and bright person. If he were to pull random people in the hall aside and ask them about you, all their faces would light up in recognition of your name and they would go on and on about their love for you. They would recount all the times you’ve made them laugh and smile, how you’re the sunshine stuffed into a single person, how you can’t take three steps inside the school without someone calling out a greeting towards you. They all talk from experience. Experience Miguel doesn’t have.

He’s tried, he really has. He thought maybe he intimidated you with his height and the usually dark look on his face. So, he tried his best to be soft when you’re around, and tried to convey that he wasn’t a threat. But all of his attempts are in vain. You still stop talking when he comes up to your shared group of friends, always pick the furthest spot away from him, always keep your words and attention towards him to a minimum. He can recount the multiple occasions where one of your mutual friends walked with you down the hall and stopped to talk to Miguel. Each time, his gaze shifted towards you and watched the way you don’t even turn towards him, instead scrolling through your phone as you waited.

It takes everything in him to not wave a huge sign in your face spelling out PAY ATTENTION TO ME! A large amount of his self control goes towards not pulling whoever you're walking with away from you so he can take their place, forcing you to give him the attention he’s so deprived of. Whenever he asks one of your friends about your behavior, they can only give him a sympathetic look and the shrug of their shoulders. So instead, Miguel steals his time with you through secret observations. His attention instantly snapping towards you when the group is hanging out, his eyes searching for your frame in the halls in between classes.

He watches the way your eyes light up when you talk to someone, wild hand movements accompanying your stories. He watches the way you always adjust the strap of your book bag that you can never really fix. Loves the look of surprise on your face when someone you don’t know calls out your name and you laugh in confusion as you say hello back and turn to your friends in astonishment. Watches the way you randomly pull your phone out in the halls when you trail behind your group of friends, a small frown on your face as you turn your head and poke at the raised bumps on your skin. Each little sight feels like a breath of fresh air to Miguel, welcoming anything you unknowingly give him.

It’s a god given gift the day he finds you sitting alone on the bleachers afterschool, none of the people you usually hide behind when you want to get away from him in sight. He keeps his movements slow and quiet to not alert your attention towards his approaching figure. When he sits besides you, you jump in surprise, a look of awe on your face at the sight of him that quickly morphs into the familiar shyness. He watches the way your hand tightens on your phone before you quietly speak up. “Hi, Miguel.”

The sound of your voice, directed entirely towards him makes his heart sing. He feels the unease wash from his shoulders, but he can see it transferring towards you. Even though it pains him to, he leaves a considerable amount of space between the two of you. A whole other person can fit in the empty space. Miguel clenches his fist as he eyes the space in envy, trying his best to ignore it for the sake of your comfort.

He must be god’s favorite today because as you watch him, you let out a shy smile and whisper out: “You can sit closer, y’know?”

He doesn’t hesitate to fill the space, his knee bumping with yours in his eagerness to be closer. A small laugh leaves you and every rainy day for the next month is cleared away in your happiness. Miguel is utterly hypnotized by you, his eyes shamelessly staring at your face as he drinks in what he’s been missing out on. Is this what it's like? Is this what it's like to be in the presence of a star?

Your smile turns awkward the more he stares at your face, mistaking it for him studying the patch of acne you’ve had difficulties getting rid off. You shift in discomfort, trying to subtly cover the area from view as you clear your throat. Miguel is awakened from his state of awe at the sight of your discomfort, the way you try to hide your imperfections clear as day to him from all the times he’s watched you do it around your friends. Miguel sits up straighter and turns his body to fully face you. He gently moves your hand away from your face, unobstructing his view of you. “You looked really pretty today. Liked the way you did your hair, it looks nice.”

Your eyes are wide as you look at Miguel, his words not fully being processed by your muddy mind. He’s so close and he’s touching you. You think maybe you’re having mirage from being out in the hot sun for too long. You hesitantly look behind you, thinking he’s talking to someone else. The action makes Miguel smile slightly, his thumb rubbing against the pulse point on your wrist to call your attention back towards him. You continue to blink up at him, a blush forming on your face as your point to yourself in clarification.

Miguel’s smile widens as he tilts his head slightly, a strand of hair covering his eyes while his shoulder shake from silent chuckles. “Yes, you.”

Your smile grows wider in bashfulness, muttering a small thank you as your hand goes to your hair. In your nervousness, you start talking about your process in getting up this morning. Oversharing about how you had tried it out the night before only for it to give you difficulties this morning that made you frustrated and think you would be late to school. Miguel listens wholeheartedly, a small smile still on his face as he lets you say everything that comes to your mind. You end the rant with another thanks towards him for being the only one noticing your efforts with your appearance.

He finds the appreciation unnecessary, but he’s proud to have gained it from you. He’s sure he looks like a proud puppy with a wagging tail at your praise and his ability to coax a conversation that lasts more than three words. He racks his brain for more things he could say, anything he can do to make you speak more and keep up this easy going air that's so rarely over the both of you. The tiniest bit of pride shines in his eyes whenever he’s successful.

He lets you go on and on, dismissing your apologies whenever you feel like you’ve talked too much. He’s always been more of a listener than a talker anyways. Plus, he likes discovering the world you dive into when you get lost in your mind. He especially doesn’t mind it when that world subconsciously causes you to raise your hand and push away the strand of hair covering his forehead. His heart beats dangerously fast as he holds his breath, scared he’ll break whatever spell he’s in. It’s only after you start pulling your hand away that you freeze with the realization of what you did.

A nervous look crosses your face as you start to apologize profusely, your hand still hovering over the side of his face. Miguel shakes his head with a happy smile, once again scolding you for your obsession with the word sorry. When you don’t stop your onslaught for forgiveness, he clasps your hand and presses a kiss to the heel of your palm, successfully shutting you up. You’re a stuttering mess, mouth opening and closing like a fish as you try to form words in your useless mind. Miguel chuckles against the warm skin of your palm and keeps it in his hold as he moves your joined hands to the warmed metal between the both of you. "Go on, princesa. What happened next?"

More shy than before, you continue on, both of your thumbs taking turns rubbing the back of each other's hand. During the never-ending conversation, the two of you get closer and closer. Your body now pressed into Miguel’s side as you laugh and smile at each other. Miguel adds little bits of speech into the conversation, commenting on things he hears or remembers happening or to agree with you on something. He's never seen you so open and carefree with him, and he selfishly wishes for more moments like this.

Too soon, the moment is broken when your phone starts ringing. You answer, a sorry expression on your face before you turn slightly to answer, pulling your hand from Miguel’s. He clenched his empty palm as you talk, staring down at the lightness that it contains. When you hang up the phone and turn back towards him, the closed-off and reserved behavior returns.

"I have to go now, but it was nice talking to you, Migs." You whisper as you begin to stand up and gather your things. The nickname you call him warms him through the cold reality of what the two of you will resort back to.

He hums sadly, the hand previously in his pocket taking your hand again. He debates giving it another kiss, but he decides against it. Instead he gives your hand a gentle squeeze and a small smile. Your cheeks flush again and you give him a fleeting smile in return before making your way down the bleachers. Once you make it down, he stands up and watches as you walk towards a newly pulled up car. You turn and give him a small wave, turning away too quickly to catch his small wave back.

A heavy sigh leaves him as you drive off. A small weight stays on his chest and he curses slightly, hoping the two of you won't go back to square one.

Meanwhile, you sit in the passenger seat of the car, a fond smile on your face as you trace the string of numbers scrawled out on the slip of paper he pressed into your hand.

This is the last Miguel request in my inbox WOOO!!

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel ohara x you #across the spiderverse #atsv miguel #miguel ohara fanfiction #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 x you #miguel ohara #miguel o hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara fluff #cherry's requests🍒

780 notes · View notes

botboots · 9 months

Note

Saw that your requests were open so what about TFP cons with an adorkable teen human reader? A really close friend (the emotional support bundle of joy™) that is really artistic, kind, understanding and just a pure cinnamon roll, what would be the bots reaction to the lil' human? Optimus, Ratchet,Bulkhead, Arcee, BB, and if you do the kids then the kids. If not the other bots, stay safe!

im back!! so sorry for the long ass wait, had so much going on in my life recently (graduating, going back home, etc.) but hopefully i'll be back to posting somewhat regularly! tysm for the continuous support :] love seeing the notifs pop up every day this is one of the first asks in my inbox (and i completely forgot that the prompt said reader was part of the cons... whoops) and i've wanted to get it done for a while now! have so many more to get through but will get them done eventually - this isn't the best but its cute <3 and you can 100% tell who my favs are lmao warnings: none word count: 939 (GN reader)

-----------------

Optimus:

he finds your outlook on things is a nice change of pace compared to the more pessimistic views that some members of the team can have at times

values your compassion greatly, often turning to you as a confidant over the time you’ve gotten to know each other. a mission went wrong and he’s putting all the blame on himself? you’re there to reassure him in a heartbeat, reminding him that he did his best and there’s always another chance; you keep him grounded

has an innate interest in art and writing - he used to be an archivist, after all

so he enjoys watching you indulge in your hobby, your excitement about it reminds him of his younger years of being a clerk at iacon when he would become giddy over a newfound archaic text

he’s very fond of you and makes sure you know it, taking note of the small things you like and getting you whatever little gift he can manage to find - genuinely thinks you’re cute and likes seeing you happy :]

Ratchet:

while it may have taken him a little longer than the others to warm up to you fully, he grew to start looking forward to your company (despite his his best efforts to hide it)

he appreciates your quiet company; you’re much less rambunctious than both the other humans and his own team - you complain a lot less too, probably one of his favorite qualities about you

like optimus, your bubbly attitude gives him a much needed break from the dreary duties that come with being the autobot medic

you often find yourselves working in tandem, with you sitting on the couch working on your newest project while he stands at his terminal typing away. occasionally you’ll walk over with a nervous smile, and with a roll of his optics he’ll lower a servo for you to climb into and lift you up onto the corner of the console, huffing when you chirp a thank you before the both of you quietly return to your tasks (he enjoys it, really)

while he’s not one to vent his frustrations to you, he’ll always be open to listen to you vent about yours. even if he doesn’t respond with much, he’ll offer logical solutions and observations for whatever issue you’re having

Bulkhead:

the big guy loves art, having been exposed to his fair share of it by miko, and is very encouraging when it comes to your projects

he might not get some of the nuances or meanings of the things you make, but he tries - oftentimes making you laugh a bit at the sheer amount he misses. it’s endearing though, and you appreciate the effort

too fidgety to sit and watch you do anything for too long, but he’ll offer to drive you to a vista for some inspiration while he does his usual scouting routes, miko tagging along of course. she’ll probably bring her sketchbook with her and sit next to you and draw, chattering the entire time while blasting some music from her ipod, offering you one of her earbuds

Arcee:

similar to ratchet she takes a while to get used to you, a little cold at first to your attempts at friendliness

she notices how happy you seem to make everyone else and eventually makes a legitimate pass at being friendly despite how awkward it feels

but with how eagerly you accept it she doesn’t feel as bad, sighing in relief as you immediately start filling her in on how much you’ve enjoyed your time with the autobots

she’s not much of a conversationalist (especially when it comes to humans) so your chattiness is almost a relief - not having to keep up fake interest and energy with someone puts her in a more comfortable position; especially since you’re not one to comment on it like others tend to

will sit and watch you work on whatever your newest project is, a comfortable silence shared between the two of you

rambles about random stuff from her past sometimes - you turn out to be one of the few people she trusts enough to mindlessly dump her thoughts to, both good and bad

Bumblebee:

one of the first to get to know you, overly excited about having a fresh face around

super curious when he sees you working on something, a barrage of questions translated from mechanical chirps and whirrs with the help (and annoyance) of ratchet

he’ll actually try and mimic some of your art on the walls of hidden ditches where he and rafael hang out, excitedly bringing you along to show off his latest work and buzzing happily when you praise it

will eventually, with your encouragement, try and make something original - he ends up finding it pretty soothing and an easier way to feel understood; communicating his feelings without words can be unsurprisingly helpful for someone who can’t use any of his own

you’ll spend hours hanging out and working on your stuff - he likes when you help him with his own art, adding your own brushstrokes to the concrete wall

he’ll let you sit up on his shoulder just to watch him make whatever he feels like making, or even just taking you on joyrides in the desert where he doesnt need to worry about anything going wrong

while it’s usually you, him and raf hanging out he does enjoy spending solo time with you - usually in silence or one-sided conversations, but you understand each other well enough without words

will also figure out what your favorite songs are and surprise you with them; he loves when you get all giddy about literally anything

#NO LONGER DEAD!!#transformers #transformers x reader #transformers fanfiction #tf x reader #optimus prime x reader #ratchet x reader #bulkhead x reader #bumblebee x reader #arcee x reader #tfp x reader #transformers x human reader #tfp ratchet x reader #tfp optimus x reader

626 notes · View notes

the-s1lly-corner · 6 months

Note

hi! Hooe ur having a good day so far ;)

if its not a big thing to ask, could you do the TADC crew with a s/o who has a really big sweet tooth? Like they dont need to eat, but anytime something slightly sweet is presented they always eat it no matter what? Thank you!

TADC cast x a reader w/ a sweet tooth!

yipee third request of the day! just got 13 more then im all caught up!! thinking about it more i might reopen requests day after tomorrow, if i finish all the current requests today!

CAINE:

congrats! there isnt a better source of sugar in the digital world than from the tooth man himself; bro literally pulled a cake out of thin air youre set for life if you want to eat treats! i like to think he would make a mental note of what sweets are your favorite and for what reason; taste, texture, smell, stuff like that

i personally hc that since caine is an ai he cant really taste, at least not in the same way we can, so bonus idea, imagine describing what things taste like to him, ,i think thats cute

POMNI:

when you told pomni that you had a sweet tooth, she assumed that you had a normal sweet tooth; as in you simply liked having a little treat here and there. imagine her shock when caine promises sweets as a reward for completing an IHA and you end up going full ham trying to secure the reward. maybe its because your sweet tooth is that intense, or maybe you havent had many chances to indulge since entering the digital world... whatever it may be, i think pomni would give you her candies and treats; she seems like a more bitter flavor enjoyer

RAGATHA:

writing her part first because i just got struck with an idea but imagine the two of you baking something together; bonus you keep trying to eat the stuff before its fully done (ex. you keep eating some of the frosting before it can be put on a cupcake or something). she playfully swats your hand when you try to snag more of whatever you're baking together. gives an apologetic look; would the treat not be better when its complete? come on reader, practice patience!

thats another idea for a real world au thing with ragatha, you two running a little baking business; i think that would be cute

JAX:

you guys fist fight over a bag of sour patch kids sorry i dont make the rules. i hc that jax has a huge sweet tooth, especially for sour candies. so uh, if you like sour candies youre going to have to make a stash... but considering jax has keys to some peoples rooms, you might wanna be smart about it... will share his candy with you if youre feeling extra bad one day, though

KINGER:

sweets, a loving partner, and a cozy pillow fort. does it get more comforting than that? okay maybe it can, if you pair a cup of hot coco with your cinnamon roll, but hey! side note, we see kinger sitting at the table at the end of the pilot... with food... so like.. how does he eat? does it just clip through his face? did he only get food to be polite? now i have a few questions... i dont think kinger would be a huge sweet fan; not really craving sugar that often... i think he would be a spice lover, though, this man would love himself a spice cake me thinks

ZOOBLE:

also not a particularly huge sweet fan, but i think similar to jax they would love sour candies. unlike jax, though, they wont go snooping around for your stash, though! probably snags stuff from the common areas if caine has like a communal candy store in the circus, or if not... stares at jax. you WILL hear from them if you leave your candy wrappers around though!

GANGLE:

speaking of candy wrappers, i think gangle would keep them! gives them a use; depending on what kind of material they are or like... if theyre foldable (think like a gum wrapper) she makes little pieces of origami for you! hearts, frogs, flowers, things like that! sometimes gets you some candy so she can get the wrappers. also likes how the crinkling feels n sounds!

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

239 notes · View notes

greenboyfriend · 5 months

Text

pick an image! (tarot card reading)

image source ❁ image 1: an aged, leather book, with many, many pages. it makes you wonder what's inside, but due to its thickness, maybe it doesn't... ❁ image 2: a pleasant smile in the hands of gods. overlapping colorful wings form a small space in the middle. if you threw this at the wall, it'd definitely leave an imprint. ❁ image 3: a mysterious brass key. to what does its dainty swirls open? no one knows but you! how do I pick? everyone has their own method of getting in touch with their intuition. for me, when I know it's right, I feel a lightness in my chest, and when it's wrong, a pit in my stomach. don't think too much about it. whichever you choose will be right! BOOK A READING THRU DM/ASK!

1.・。.・゜✭

boy howdy, y'all.

you see the change you need to make, and yet you're still resisting? maybe you're scared of what this change will bring, but in your stagnancy, you're missing an opportunity for growth. the most important thing is that you tell the truth. right that wrong-- let everyone know what's really happening. whatever your reason for inaction might be, know that you do, in fact, possess the strength to overcome your issue(s), no matter how much you think you don't. you've already reached a major milestone, too, so why keep yourself in a box? reap that reward. you worked for it, after all! this important change will have to do with you clearing the air, speaking articulately, and being sure that you share the absolute, honest truth. consider a direction change. sure, what's gotten you here has worked wonders, but what will get you to your next goal? don't be afraid to try new things!

(7 of pentacles reversed, ace of swords reversed, king of swords, four of pentacles)

2.・。.・゜✭

whadda hell? such similar cards and yet such distinct meanings...

unlike those who chose image 1, you have not yet reached your goal. but don't worry! you're almost there!! you've just got to keep trying... easier said than done, right? it seems like you really want to give up, or are doubting yourself. this is a strong energy-- maybe you've been hurt in the past because of a similar situation, so you're refusing to acknowledge what's happening at all. maybe you don't believe in your own strength, but know that it is there. you've come all this way-- think of this as one more hurdle to jump before you take a lunch break. and what a wonderful lunch it will be, indeed!!! something that will be important will be finding out what's real and what's not. break up this complicated situation into segments and slowly analyze how all the pieces fit together. try to remain objective during this process, it is important for your future success. and finally, the scariest hurdle of all: simply having fun! you don't need to be guarded all the time, and maybe that's the lesson you're tackling right now. there's a very strong vibe of "recapturing innocence", in the (inno-) sense that you must shed the learned, knee-jerk responses of heartache. in order to feel better, you must let yourself free, but don't worry; your heart will always come back to you. don't let your inhibitions stop you from living the life you want to... need to....... deserve to live!!! so take that crazy chance and engage in unadulterated, unfiltered, unstoppable whimsy. this will be the key that takes you to new heights!!!

(ace of swords reversed-- this hoe really jumped out of the deck to see you. say hi..., the fool, 7 of pentacles reversed, king of swords)

3.・。.・゜✭

okay so everyone's going through it. okay

god damn. y'all really need a hug, a hot cup of cocoa, and a cat in your lap, because fuck!!! you're experiencing a betrayal. deserted in your time of need, you're left to wander far, far away from home... you will find happiness in trying new things and keeping your head up, but don't let discovery be your excuse to neglect your needs. above all else, you need to heal. this will be a time of balancing these two things: trying out new developments and changes, while also healing your emotional wounds. you may be more interested in the former than the latter. you may feel like you're too weak to face this pain, but know that hard times help redefine the person you are. it's easy to wave it all away and throw all your energy into what's new, but what will really matter when you're 75 and looking back on your life is how you treated yourself during this time. did you dutifully lick your wounds, tending to yourself as you wish someone else would? or did you discard yourself in the same way you discarded your feelings? it's a tough ask, and a bit shocking to think about, I know. but imagine looking back and feeling pride in how well you managed things, the comfort gained-- almost magically-- from yourself, and the good it did you. okay, okay im getting off my soapbox now! just know you're headed towards good things. it may be a long process, so be brave, and steady. take breaks! drink water! stand motionless in the shower for 30 minutes, it's ok if that's what you need to do cause guess what?!?! you deserve to be taken care of, especially by yourself!!!

(3 of swords reversed, ace of swords reversed, 2 of pentacles, 6 of swords reversed)

lots and lots and LOTS of love for all of you silly little geese. I wish the absolute best for you! although I don't need to hope for the best... because I know all of you will prevail!!! simply because ur interested in what ur intuition seeks to teach you. please accept my kind words even if im a stranger on the internet! please know you deserve every tender moment that life has to offer and more, because you're just a motherfucker who's out here trying their best, just like most everyone else, and oh my god no matter what anyone tells you that is enough!!!!!!! sorry. I got back on the soapbox. BUT ITS TRUE!!!

#auuughggfhhfh sorry for the big fucking thing at the end I just dont want anyone to feel discouraged #I want to spread the love~~ yahooyahoo~~~ <3<3 #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick a photo #pick an image #intuition #spiritual #spirituality #pac

119 notes · View notes

ozai-the-bonsai · 4 days

Text

Cry for the Moon

Pairing: Zuko x firebender!reader

Warnings: some strong language here and there

A/N: I am sorry for the long wait, the inspiration was failing and I didn't want to write something half-heartedly just for the sake of posting something. This is a long chapter and I loved writing it! Hope you enjoy this one as well, let me know what you think about it in the comments!

Taglist: @annonymatic @yoongiesstar @lost-inthe-v0id @lokigodofmyheart @4l3x1s @potato87123 @asciendo @angelruinz @unamused-boss @junieshohoho @yourlivewire @itszzmoon @coolgirl458 @vyliie @6000-fandoms @aerikim246 @feitansrisingsun @xenop0p @saikikusouswife @marsbars09

Using a tank train to chase the Avatar and his friends could have been the best idea you had come up with so far.

With the giant flying bison shedding its white fur all over the place while it flew, it had been quite easy to keep track of them – actually, it had been rather too easy. The whole night, the tank train didn’t let the Avatar and his friends get the slightest bit of sleep.

You had been on their necks all the time, just like a shadow following.

Azula put her hand into the water to grab a hold of some patches of fur, she lifted to examine them. They had chased the Avatar and his friends to a river side surrounded by a forest. Given that they were sleep deprived and too tired, they weren’t going to last longer.

“Wads of wet fur.” Mai spoke dryly. “How delightful.”

Some birds were singing under the warm sun – it was a nice, warm sunny day which reminded you of the upcoming summer.

“They are not wads, they are more like bundles, or bunches?” Ty Lee seemed thoughtful as she tried to find the right word to describe the fur swimming in the river. She scratched her head. “It’s got an ‘uh’ sound.”

You giggled. “I know this feeling – you will keep think about that word until you finally find it.” You grimaced. “It is super annoying.”

“I know!” Ty Lee agreed with you as she swung her arms in an exaggerated manner, her long braid swinging in the process.

“Clumps?” Mai suggested with the same, dry tone.

Ty Lee’s grey eyes shone with happiness as she clasped her hands together. “Clumps! They are clumps!” She hugged Mai, who didn’t even bother returning the embrace. You rolled your eyes at her dullness – it drove you insane sometimes, which made you wonder how you had managed to be best friends with her for all those years in the first place.

You were a passionate individual and you expected your friends, or the important people in your life in general, to share your passion and enthusiasm from time to time. However, you didn’t recall experiencing such an occasion with Mai.

Turning your attention to Azula, who was standing by the river, you raised an eyebrow at her. “All the fur in the river makes you wonder whether that thing simply flew over or instead dived into the water.”

Mai pointed in the direction of the trail, which lead into the forest. “The trail goes this way.”

For a moment, Azula looked in the direction of the trail as she carefully considered her options, then she looked upwards. Following her gaze, you too spotted the broken treetops. A frown appeared on your face. “Well, I don’t know many creatures that can cause something like this.”

Upon hearing your remark, Mai and Ty Lee looked into the direction you were pointing at. Perhaps they finally realised that the bison was causing them all the trouble by shedding its fur, you thought as you crossed your hands over your chest. They could have washed it, which would explain all the fur in the river.

“The Avatar is trying to give us the slip.” Azula said, you felt like you two had the same or at least similar chain of thoughts. The Princess pointed to the broken treetops. “You three head in that direction and keep your eye out for the bison.” Then, she turned her gaze to the fur trail. “I will follow this trail.”

You placed your right hand on her shoulder. “Do you believe that the Avatar awaits you alone, on his own?”

Azula nodded. “It would make sense for the other three to take the bison, the Avatar can move more easily when he is alone.”

“Oh, yeah – flying, you are right.” You said, you tended the forget the fact that he was the last airbender. “In that case, you will be perfectly fine on your own. I would rather accompany you; however, with the new earthbender girl in their group, I believe the girls need a firebender on their side.”

After a while you all mounted your mongoose lizards and started riding towards the different paths, a specific pair of traces caught your attention. They were the traces of an ostrich horse. You raised an eyebrow as you turned back to look at the trace. I though he had lost us along the way some time.

During the early hours of the morning, you had noticed someone following the tank train from afar. Even though the distance was simply too much for you to make out who the person was, there had been one very prominent feature on their face that gave out their identity almost immediately.

The scar.

However, after a few hours, you had lost sight of him; hence, you didn’t bother letting Azula know that Zuko had been using your trail to hunt down the Avatar. As it turned out, he wasn’t really gone – he had probably taken a short cut. And considering the traces, he was headed the same way as Azula.

You stopped your mongoose lizard abruptly, causing Mai and Ty Lee to stop as well. Mai sent you an annoyed look. “What is it?”

“I think I saw some earthbending traces back there, inside the forest.” You lied without even thinking twice. “The earthbender girl must have taken a separate way – you two go after the bison and the Watertribe people, I will hunt down the earthbender.”

Mai shrugged. “Whatever you say.”

Ty Lee waved at you before going back on track. “Good luck – be careful with the flying rocks!”

You smiled softly at her words. “And you watch out for the waterbender!”

After making sure the girls were both out of sight, you turned your mongoose lizard back and started following the track Zuko’s ostrich horse left. This time, I am going to face you instead of going back home in tears. You thought with a determined expression on your face, your amber eyes lacked the slightest bit of warmth inside them. And you are going to answer for what you have done to me.

[Time Skip]

Zuko shouted in a mixture of surprise and fear as you jumped in front of his ostrich horse with your mongoose lizard.

He was wearing a brown, sleeveless robe with a dark green, long-sleeved shirt and dark green pants underneath. You couldn’t help yourself but raise an eyebrow upon seeing how different his hair looked – it wasn’t in a top not anymore. Apparently, after your last encounter with him, he had cut off his hair and let it grow longer.

Bringing yourself back to the present moment and to the task at hand, you got off the mongoose lizard and crossed your hands over your chest. The long sleeves of your crimson, wrap shirt dangled with the wind. “Wipe that shocked expression off from your face, Zuko – we both knew this day would come.”

Your words had been enough to push the shock away from his features, which left its place to something that resembled mostly fury. The Banished Prince dismounted his ostrich horse with a frown. “What do you want?”

“Answers,” you spoke with a voice as cold as ice, your amber eyes were dark. “You are going to answer for what you have done to me that very day.”

At first, Zuko’s eyes widened with you mentioning the day he left the Fire Nation; however, he quickly gained control over his emotions and put back the frown. “I don’t have any time to waste,” he muttered with an annoyed tone as he tried to walk past you. Without even thinking, you punched forward, sending a wave of flames towards him.

Once again, Zuko was taken aback by your cold-heartedness. When he came back to his senses, it was almost too late – the Banished Prince rolled backwards to escape the flames in time.

“I didn’t ask whether you wanted to go through with this or not,” you said coolly as you broke your stance to stand straight. “After all, why should I show the slightest bit of concern to someone who didn’t even flinch while shattering my whole soul to a million pieces?!”

Towards the end, your voice became louder and louder, until the point you ended up screaming at his face.

Zuko spoke your name softly, which had your heart melting almost immediately as if he hadn’t been the cause of all that had hurt you over the last years. “Let this go, please – it has been three years and…”

Not even letting him finish, you interrupted him – the fury was raising within you, blinding your sight, and blurring your mind. At that moment, all you wanted to do was to scream out every buried thought, every silenced cry at him until you couldn’t speak anymore.

“So, is time supposed to magically make me forget everything you did, everything you said?” You asked scornfully as you pointed at him with your index finger in an accusing manner. “You… You said I was a burden, a baggage, a fucking deadweight!”

Zuko said your name once again. “Please… I am…”

You were shaking your head almost hysterically, you could feel the tears running down your cheeks. This was the mental breakdown you had been trying to avoid having for weeks now. “How can you expect me to forget that?!”

[Flashback]

“Please, let me come with you.” You whispered as you tried to turn your face away – you kind of felt ashamed for you were crying in front of Zuko’s whole crew. He cupped your face and made you look at him as he gently wiped away the tears leaving you amber eyes. “Zuko, I… I don’t know how to live here without you. I have… I have had you with me ever since I could remember…”

Even though his left eye was bandaged as a result of his father’s unthinkable cruelty, you could still see the tears forming in his right eye. But he managed to control his emotions not to show any weaknesses in front of his crew. “Love, we have talked about this,” he whispered towards your lips before leaving a small kiss. “I will be back before you know it. I promise.”

You shook your head – you didn’t want to stay in the Fire Nation while he went on this impossible journey to find the Avatar, who had been presumably already dead for centuries! A part of you knew that his journey was probably never going to end.

The simplest thought of not getting to see Zuko ever again made you want to throw out. You couldn’t imagine your life without him for you hadn’t known it otherwise. He had always been there, with you, and all your life, you grew up with the belief that you were going to become his wife someday.

The arranged marriage, which had been decided when you were born, was the main reason for you to grow up with Zuko – yes, but it also allowed this purest love of all to bloom between you two. From childhood best friends to childhood crushes and to young lovers.

He carried a piece of your heart and whether he wanted it or not, a part of you was going with him.

“Why?” You asked with a low voice. “Why won’t you take me with you?”

Zuko placed his lips on your forehead to leave a small kiss before speaking. “Your place is here, in the Fire Nation, where you can continue your studies and your training to pursue your dreams.” Slowly, he turned his look away from your eyes. “I would never forgive myself if I took that away from you.”

You pressed your lips against each other to silence a sob that dared to escape. “My place is with you…”

“My decision is final,” Zuko spoke with a soft voice, which carried still enough authority to put an end to your continuous attempts to change his mind. “But I am going to miss you more than anything...”

It felt impossible to form words, let alone talk. Hence, you placed your lips on top of Zuko’s instead of wasting time talking.

After the long farewell, you went home quickly to get the small gift you wanted to give to Zuko before he set sail in a few hours. You wanted to give him something that would bring him good luck on his mission and also make him remember you every time he looked at it.

It was the small replica of a red dragon made of metal, which hung at the end of a black chain. You thought Zuko could hang it by his desk or by his bed, keeping it in his personal space where he didn’t need to wear his façade anymore.

As you approached the ship, you could hear some voices coming from up on board. Upon hearing someone from the crew mentioning your name, you stopped in your tracks to listen to what was being said. You could already see Zuko standing with his back facing you, talking to that crewmate.

“My Prince, please forgive me for asking but,” the crewmate spoke with a respectful tone. “Why didn’t you allow her to join us?”

You heard Zuko heave a sigh before speaking. “I am afraid she would only be a burden to us – like baggage, she would just slow us down.” The gift of good luck you held slowly slipped between your fingers and fell onto the ground. Zuko shook his head. “I cannot allow any deadweight on board – and if any of you should become one, I will not hesitate to send them back!”

Biting your lower lip to silence your sobs, you turned back and ran away without even saying anything to Zuko, without facing him and without wishing him one last goodbye. You wanted to believe he was lying but the way he talked as he uttered those venomous words had been just too real, too true.

After that day, nothing was going to be the same for you.

[Flashback ends]

Wiping the tears away, you asked with a weak voice. “Why?”

Zuko turned his eyes away, his shame radiated off his body. “Does it matter?” He muttered. “After what I made you go through, does it really matter why I said what I said?”

You shook your head as a hysterical laughter left your lips. “Still, you are incapable of looking me in the eye and say it – say that you thought I was weak.” You didn’t realise it as the flames started to form around your clenched fists. “Say that you have lied to me every single day!” Control slowly slipped away from your fingertips. “You have never even loved me!”

What came next had been a shock to both of you.

As you screamed your sorrows away, you shot the flames – which had been growing around your fists – directly at Zuko. This was probably the very first time that you attacked him the same way you would attack any of your enemies. The reflection of the flames was visible in Zuko’s amber eyes and he seemed to be paralyzed – he had never met this side of you, he had never really been on the other side.

If he had dodged the flames with his firebending a second too late… Well, let’s say it would have been really unpleasant.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Zuko screamed at you, still not returning your attack as you circled each other. “Why would you attack me like that? And… and why would you say that I have never loved you?”

“If you had loved me, even just a little,” you told him as you stopped moving in a circle to point at him with an accusing manner. “You would have never hurt me the way you did.” Raising an eyebrow at his direction, you asked sarcastically. “Do you like the person you have turned me into?”

Zuko shook his head. “No, I didn’t do this to you,” he said with a low voice. “This is you under Azula’s influence.”

His words made you throw your head back and let out a laughter that had the hints of condescending, amusement, and little bit… craziness?

“Oh, you do believe that Azula is manipulating me into being one of her puppets?” You asked with genuine curiosity in your voice as you realised the seriousness surrounding Zuko’s features. “My dear Zuko, you have never been more wrong in your life – I am with Azula because I want to, because I deeply care about her. And no, this,” you pointed at yourself, “is not her doing. I should thank you for giving me the push to become more invincible than ever.”

It was hard to understand what was going on inside Zuko’s mind for his amber eyes didn’t give it all away; however, you could feel the hints of longing, disappointment, and jealousy circling around him all at once. It felt like an emotional turmoil.

His voice almost cracked when he spoke. “So, you… replaced me with her?”

At first, you wanted to say that you had replaced him with Shuzi, but you quickly realised that it wasn’t true. Shuzi had a different spot, and it was under no circumstances close to that of Zuko – his place wasn’t completely occupied. However, it wouldn’t be wrong to say that Azula was the only person closest to that very place in your heart.

You pursed your lips. “Well, you can say that – to a certain extent. Speaking of Azula,” you moved away from Zuko’s way as you walked towards your mongoose lizard. “Despite how much I do want to fight you, it is Azula’s destiny to be the one who faces you. Thus, I am going to let you be on your way.” Upon seeing the shocked expression on Zuko’s face, you shrugged. “I have already given her a head start.”

Remembering what his main goal was – he had completely forgot about the Avatar – Zuko quickly mounted his ostrich horse. “You were wrong though,” he said as he rode past you, his voice was low but still, you could hear him. “I did love you. Every single day.”

With that, Zuko disappeared from your sight, leaving you with more questions than you initially had before finally facing him.

[Time Skip]

After Zuko was gone, you returned to join Mai and Ty Lee, only to find both of them soaking wet, sitting by the river. Using your firebending to dry them both, you told that the earthbender girl had escaped from you by going underground like a badgermole. Not long after, Azula joined you three as well, she seemed quite tired.

As you all rode back to the tank train on your mongoose lizards, the Princess told you what had happened: how the enemies and the traitors had worked together to corner her and how she had shot Uncle Iroh with fire to create enough diversion to escape. You couldn’t help yourself but feel terrible for Iroh – you didn’t think he deserved to be Azula’s victim – but you kept your thoughts to yourself.

“Mai told me you didn’t go with her and Ty Lee,” Azula said as you two walked towards the tank train. Mai and Ty Lee were already inside. “Did you really chase the eartbender girl?”

You shook your head, you weren’t going to lie to Azula. “I actually chased Zuko, I just needed a valid excuse to go on my own way without… you know, letting Mai involve herself as well.”

A small frown formed on Azula’s face as she stopped walking. “Zuko? How did you know he was following us?”

“I saw him earlier today from a distance, then he disappeared so I didn’t really think he could keep up with our pace.” You explained as you crossed your arms over your chest. After everything you had gone through, you felt exhausted – not physically, but rather emotionally. “But I saw him in the woods once again after you went your own way. I wanted to finally face him and be free of everything weighing me down.”

Azula nodded at your words, the firm expression slowly disappeared, leaving itself to curiosity. “I understand – in that case, I forgive you for not following my orders.” The edge of your lips curled upwards. “Did it work? Are you finally free of all that weight now?”

You nodded with a big smile forming on your face, almost reaching your amber eyes. Almost.

“I screamed at him everything I have been wanting to say to him ever since… you know, that day.” You spoke with a lower voice, not wanting to be heard by anyone. Shaking your head, you continued. “He is not even capable of owning up to his actions – he couldn’t tell me why he had… said all those things about me.”

Azula shrugged with an unamazed manner. “Well, what did you expect from Zuzu in the first place?” She said as she rested her left hand on the small of your back, leading you two into the tank train. “Still, I am glad that you are now lighter than ever.”

You forced the fake smile back onto your lips.

The problem was that you felt you carried more weight now that you had faced Zuko.

Over the years, you had made yourself deeply believe that he had never really loved you – this had been the only explanation you could find for his actions, your coping mechanism. However, now that you knew he had loved you all along, you felt more lost than ever.

More lost, more confused, more vulnerable.

#prince zuko #atla zuko #zuko x reader #the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #princess azula #zuko #zuko x oc

67 notes · View notes

meadowscarlet · 2 years

Text

cinnamon girl ━━━ kaz brekker.

pairings: kaz brekker x fem!reader.

summary: everyone had their own dark history that formed them into a foreboding person, and kaz was no exception; he had his fair share of demons, but he was itching to discover about yours and why you loathe the feeling of touch as much as he did but seek solace from him.

warnings: mentions of abuse and brief spoilers of kaz's backstory.

author’s note: i know i said i won't repost my old fics but i'm currently in a writing block and can't post anything so have this plus i missed kaz. do not copy, post on another site, translate or claim any of my works as your own or you will be reported! nav.

Ketterdam is not a pleasant and welcoming city. In the filthy, morally repugnant, and dangerous place, battered and wounded individuals on the verge of death, criminals, thieves, and sinners were discovered. The city had corrupted the people with its savagery, where compassion and benevolence are seen as vulnerabilities, and it was irredeemable, tainting the citizens with the city's unrighteousness.

The Crows were no exception. They were also impacted by the darkness that Ketterdam had plagued them with; regardless of how young they were, whether a girl or a boy, they would be painted with the city's malice. Everyone had their own demons, something dreadful had occurred to them—it didn't matter what it was, for the demons and the city had shaped them into a person with a dark heart and a desire for cruelty.

Kaz had personal knowledge with this. He had been altered, like so many others, by the vile city's relentless brutality. With his sinister demeanor, or his lethal cane, where he might break a leg, or change a man's fortune, he was known as Dirtyhands. People feared him, and some had always wondered what had happened to Kaz Brekker to make him so merciless.

Of course, everything remained a mystery since no one dared to cross Kaz, including the Crows who were usually with him. They didn't want to meet death by Brekker's gloved hands just yet, even though they were plainly intrigued about the cunning yet deadly thief. The tragedy that transformed Kaz into the person he is today remained hidden, and others speculated that the city had done nothing to him and that he was born wicked.

They were not corrected by Kaz.

Matthias refers to him as demjin, which means demon in Fjerdan. It didn't bother Kaz; they could call him whatever they wanted; at the very least, they'd know he wasn't someone to tamper with. After all, he had a reputation to uphold, and if people feared him, then so be it. Kaz enjoyed the feeling of authority and domination among fools, and he relished seeing people's terror whenever he was near.

He was certain that he was born with a terribly malevolent nature. That perhaps the shadows had been there all along, seething inside only to become stronger when the feeling of vengeance overwhelmed him after a life full of treachery and violence, after Jordie's death and everything else that had made Kaz miserable before. He had his own darkness, but it was at odds with yours.

How did you wind up with him and the Crows in Ketterdam?

Kaz remembered the day he first met you as if it had been scorched into his mind. Your hair was escaping out of its hair tie, framing your face in a frenetic and wild yet compelling way. You appeared to be running, your movements swift and efficient; you seemed to be young, similar to Kaz's age, yet there was still a youthful simplicity in you, one that he had lost a long time ago, buried in the waters and deepest depths of it.

He might have gone about his business; after all, the last thing on his mind was a girl, agitated and wounded amidst the city of Ketterdam's well-known lack of morality. To Kaz, it's a common sight, one that would even amuse him, but when he first saw you, there was something unusual about you. He didn't feel sorry for you but you seemed to be a fresh face, and Kaz Brekker must know everyone in the city. He needed to keep a watchful eye on everyone, especially any potential enemies.

On a dreary night in Ketterdam, where Kaz could hear the same rattling noises and smell the foul stench of blood and sins outside, he focused instead on the kruge on his table. He was counting everything carefully and silently, and when he heard the familiar faint footsteps, he didn't stop. Kaz didn't look up at the person, instead continuing to stare at the kruge as if it were about to vanish from his grasp.

After a brief pause, he finally looked up.

He wasn't surprised to see her. “Hello, Inej.”

Inej approached Kaz, who was standing behind the table, and gave him a distinctive nod as he looked down and arranged the kruge on the table. Her movements were light and stealthy, like the Wraith she was and Kaz suspected she had something to tell him. Inej only came to his office when she had something important to tell Kaz.

“I’m hoping you're not here to waste my time,” Kaz remarked, his voice flat and uninterested as usual. “Any valuable information?”

“It's about the girl,” Inej started.

Kaz made a gesture of paying attention to her, but he was still gazing down at his money. “Girl?”

He could hear Inej's footsteps getting closer until she was directly across from him. “The one you said I should look into to find out who she is.”

For the first time since Inej went to his office, Kaz looked up with a gleam of pure interest in his dark eyes. “I'm listening.”

“She's a fresh face in the city—I once followed her on her way and discovered she lived near an elderly couple's bakery. She is new here in Ketterdam, and I hadn't heard about her until you told me to keep an eye on her,” Inej stated passively. “But, she is skillful. She was in a frenzy as she realized I was following her, so she became alarmed and attacked me.”

Kaz became increasingly intrigued. “Tell me you didn't kill her.”

Inej's dark eyes were frowning, but behind her mask and the darkness, Kaz couldn't see her entire face. “I didn't and I wouldn't,” she said bluntly, as if the answer was self-evident. “She's brilliant, and despite being new to Ketterdam, she's already proven her potential.”

“What is her name?”

“Y/N L/N.” Inej replied. “Why the sudden interest in her?”

“Always be cautious of new people; they are unaccustomed with the ambience of Ketterdam, and it is wiser to get to know them before they identify themselves,” Kaz counseled. “She may be destructive, but based on what you said, she's entirely harmless.”

Inej shook her head, disbelieving. “Did the word ‘skillful’ escape your notice?”

Kaz wore a vacant smile. “I heard you just fine.”

“Kaz,” she said, her voice warning. “What are your intentions with her?”

“I won't kill her, if that's what you're wondering.”

Inej's eyes glowed with understanding, and Kaz battled the impulse to roll his eyes; why did it take her so long to realize?

Inej remarked, “You're recruiting her in the Dregs.”

Kaz only wore a pleased expression.

You had adjusted well once you were recruited in the Dregs. Kaz remembered how, to his astonishment, a gun greeted his temple when he walked inside a small, cluttered space that he knows you call home. He followed Inej's directions, and your small abode was definitely close to the bakery run by an elderly couple. He could still remember the smell of the lingering pastries even in the middle of a wretched place you called home.

Kaz could see the survival instinct you implemented in your small home where there was collected foods, knives placed on the couch, and a blanket applied as a cover for the windows, and he observed his fascination with your cautiousness. You only let go of the gun after he assured you that he meant no harm and that he had a proposition for you.

That's how it all began. When Inej indicated you were competent, she was right. With the jobs Kaz had given you, you were swift and clever, as well as flawless. Perhaps your accomplishments were a way of repaying Kaz for providing you with a secure place to sleep and have a modest shelter. Not only that, but you'd formed close friendships with the Barrel's employees, particularly the Crows.

You were particularly fond of Inej. The one-time attack and brief fight against one another became a laughing memory as you both reminisced about it whenever you had the opportunity. There was no scorching animosity between you two, and you became inseparable as the days passed. Kaz remembered you blabbering your apologies to Inej after stabbing her in the leg when you realized she was following you. Inej could only chuckle heartily.

Matthias seemed to like you, much to Kaz's great shock, and he could see how you both chatted and spoke about things after each heist. Nina had mentioned that it was mundane at job when it was just her and Inej as the girls, and you were a wonderful addition. She had been pushing Kaz to make you a Crow for a while, but Kaz thought you weren't ready. You were only needed on occasion, not every time they pulled off a job.

You bonded well with Wylan as well, but Kaz sensed your apprehension towards Jesper. Kaz was initially perplexed; Jesper was a naturally cheerful person, and everyone seemed to enjoy his company. Not that you dreaded it, rather Kaz could always recall your laughter whenever Jesper cracked a joke—a laugh he grew terribly fond of.

Jesper, on the other hand, is far too friendly, and Kaz would be lying if he said he didn't notice the dread expression on your face whenever someone came close to you or when Jesper put his elbow on your shoulder.

Kaz began to observe you more intently after seeing that, as if he hadn't already. He believed he had made the right decision in recruiting you. You were special, enthusiastic, and the light of the Barrel. Kaz didn't think you'd fit in well with the city's grim environment at first, and he didn't want you to get further corrupted by the violence.

But Kaz had entirely overlooked and dismissed what had transpired to you and how you had landed up in Ketterdam.

Every day, Kaz's inexplicable fondness for you grew stronger. You and Kaz have a contentious relationship; unlike the rest of the Crows, you didn't necessarily converse and blabber to him, nor did you laugh and tease with him like you did with Inej and Jesper, but there was a wordless distinctive connection between you and Kaz.

Your patience and presence were the attributes he admired the most in you. Kaz wasn't easy to talk to or even tolerate—he's closed off and harsh—but whatever nonsense Saints Inej believed in seemed to bring you to Ketterdam to soften his roughness. In his world of darkness, Kaz didn't believe in miracles or light, but you were there, proving that there is still some good in the world.

Kaz had intended to fire you at that time.

He had questioned Inej about your misfortune and how you ended up in Ketterdam. Inej only shook her head and mumbled something about your past being none of her business. You were shut off as well, but unlike Kaz, you shine with gentleness and radiance, masking whatever darkness you may have. Matthias would grumble under his breath whenever you greeted Kaz in the morning with a big smile.

Matthias had once growled, “The demjin doesn't deserve such pleasant smiles.”

You only shook your head, as delicate and gentle as you were. “Even if it's seldom or undeserved, everyone deserves a little bit of decency.”

That's when Kaz realized you were mistaken. He didn't deserve such remedy from you—you and him had a routine where you'd read a book in his office or simply admire the moon and stars at night, the moonlight shining in your face and making you look stunning. There was no talking, just stillness. Kaz was always busy making plans and would occasionally glance at you.

Your very presence made him feel calmer, and whenever you came to visit his office, which had previously been dark, was replaced with a strange sense of peace. Kaz was hesitant to make you a Crow for a reason, selfish if it was. He didn't want to expose you completely to his enemies, risking you being wounded or worse, killed. He knows you're talented and all, but he let his vanity get the best of him, and to his horror, his worry.

He valued your tranquility, but he also sought your voice—he wanted you to talk excitedly about anything, and if your silence had soothed him, what more could your voice possibly have done? But maybe it was all one-sided, and you're only there with Kaz because you owe him courtesy, and maybe you've never liked him, and you're just doing this benevolence to him to act with integrity.

Kaz wouldn't blame you.

Kaz despised weakness, and he knew he couldn't just have you rot in the streets, no matter how he felt—and he questioned why he was feeling anything at all. He was ruthless, but he didn't want to hurt someone who had been nothing but pleasant and selfless. He didn't want to take away your friendship or the comfort you found in the Barrel.

He did not want you to go.

Kaz was disturbed by the thought.

Everyone was fast asleep, exhausted from the job they had just completed, so they chatted and ate waffles—Nina's suggestion—to calm their anxieties before retiring to their various rooms. Only the Crows were required for the job, and Kaz had assumed you were probably sleeping in your room as he lingered at the table with Jesper, who was elated from the successful completion of the job.

To Kaz's relief, Jesper yawned and stood up, but before walking away, he stopped and beamed even brighter and exclaimed, “Y/N!”

Kaz took a look around and spotted you. You approached them with a relieved expression on your face, a book in your hand, and no indication of drowsiness on your face. You gave a small smile as you met Kaz's gaze, which had not left yours, and then turned to face Jesper.

Jesper shifted his gaze between you and Kaz, then back to you, and Kaz swore he glimpsed a smirk on the Zemeni's face. “I'll talk to you tomorrow, gorgeous,” he says, “I’m exhausted, goodnight.”

Kaz watched Jesper approaching you and saw him about to hug you before deciding against it and giving you a wink before passing you by. It made Kaz frown.

“Aren't you tired?” you began as you sat across from him, helping yourself to the last waffles.

Kaz noticed this was the start of a conversation—he expected you to be silent as you eat and enjoy each other's company, but you spoke to him, and to his chagrin, a tightrope in his stomach loosened and made him feel relaxed.

“Why aren't you asleep yet?”

Your eyes squinted when the topic shifted, but you shrugged it off. “I wasn't tired.”

“That makes it the both of us.”

Kaz sat back and enjoyed your chuckle. The sounds it made were like a stack of kruge tumbling from his table. He was trying to memorize the cadence of your laugh. He shook his head, hating the thoughts that overwhelm him, but he couldn't help himself—it was only you and him, in the middle of the night, and there was no silence.

“No one got hurt?” you muttered as you bit into your waffle.

“We're fine,” Kaz said, pleased as he saw your eyes brighten. “The job was successful.”

Kaz has a keen ability to read people and can tell you were worried, which could explain why you weren't asleep. You had been waiting for their arrival. Or maybe it was just the other Crows and not him and Kaz didn't realize he was staring until you said spoke.

“I know questions are etched on your face,” you said. implying that he wasn't the only one who can easily read people. “What is it, Kaz?”

He was taking a risk, but he couldn't help but ask the question that had been nagging him since the first time he saw you. “How did you end up in Ketterdam?”

You remained silent for a moment, staring down at your waffle, before speaking softly enough for Kaz to mistake it for a faint hum. “I… wanted a way out.”

He almost laughed. “What could be worse than Ketterdam?”

You raised your eyes to Kaz, your expression solemn, the brightness that had warmed him faded. “Believe it or not, Ketterdam has seemed like home to me. It's the closest thing I've ever felt to refuge here, despite the fact that it's brutal. It was the first time I felt secure.”

The first time? Kaz thought.

“The people, too,” you continued, “Inej, Nina, Jesper, Matthias, Wylan. And… you Kaz.”

“What happened to you, Y/N?” Kaz struggled to hide his uneasiness in his tone. “Has anyone ever treated you with such safety and tranquility?”

“No,” you said softly and unsteadily. “You were the first who ever did.”

Kaz noticed tears threatening to spill from your eyes and decided he couldn't bear you being so vulnerable—it wasn't like you. “Talk to me, L/N.”

“When my mother left when I was six, my father became sorrowful, unhappy, and enraged, and he let all of his aggression out on me,” you explained, your voice strained. “He does things to me that no parent should ever do to their child.”

Kaz was filled with a searing and inexplicable rage. But he kept his cool by clutching his cane tightly in his hands, as if striving to maintain composure. He listened intently as you spoke, satisfied that you had put your trust in him to speak about something that had been a lingering memory. He observed you playing with your hands at the table, the waffle long forgotten.

His voice was like a promise of violence. “Why?”

You shrugged, a small, pained smile on your face. “People end up doing things they don't want to do, but sometimes they can't do anything to stop it. My father had no one else to release his frustrations on, so he did it to me, and after that, he'd apologize and hug me while crying.”

Kaz felt compelled to say something to you since you had put your trust in him, and it was only fair that he reciprocated it. “I had never been treated with kindness and tenderness by anyone. You were also the first one who did.”

“I owe you, Kaz.”

“You owe me nothing,” Kaz immediately responded.

“You saved my life,” you said.

Kaz locked his gaze on you, seeking to grasp the details of whatever it was he was enamored of. “I'd do it all over again. I can't guarantee you peace or liberty, but you will never be treated the way your father treated you. I won't let it happen.”

It was then that you both realized that when the day ended and night came, you would seek one other's solace. Two souls that had their own painful memories and had never known serenity before connected and shared it.

1K notes · View notes

seekers-who-are-lovers · 3 months

Text

Some thoughts about things on Bang Bravern… (bit long, sorry)

Why do I clock the German major general Heidemarie as a lesbian?

So what if “ga-ga-pi” is some kind of a code, similar to Morse code or the binary code? Lulu has her “ga-ga-pi.” The other Deathdrive has its “ga-ga-ga. Pi-ga-ga-ga-pi. Pi-ga-ga-pi-ga.” The sequence is different in order to convey another meaning. The only solution is how to interpret it. Or perhaps, I am just overthinking.

So what are the Death Drives?

From the series’s glossary:

Death Drives : A mysterious mechanical life form that suddenly attacked the earth. Their goal is to achieve the best "death" that each of them wants. They came to this earth around all the galaxies in search of an existence that will fulfil their wishes.

Those drives sound like a part of Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis’ theory, the theory of pleasure principle (Lustprinzip).

Did Masami Obari, the director, turn to the Austrian psychoanalyst to gather the blueprint for his latest work?

(I know that Freud doesn’t have many fans among the Tumblr folks. But he “is” my neighbour. After having seen “Freud’s Vanished Neighbors” and read an article that the Viennese didn’t accept him as part of the community because he was not born in Austria and had Jewish family, and was still referred to as “Zugeraster,” a derogatory term for an outsider, he earned my respect and like everyone who was born centuries ago had other mentality that was not at all fitting in the modern era.)

Deathdrives, or death drives, in Freudian psychoanalytical universe, mean Thanatos, Todestrieb in German, is a term that describes: the drive toward death and destruction, often expressed through behaviors such as aggression, repetition compulsion, and self-destructiveness.

From Freud’s book, “Beyond the Pleasure Principle” :

Our departure point was the great antithesis of life drives and death drives. Object-love itself shows us a second such polarity – that of love (affection) and hate (aggression). What if we succeeded in connecting these two polarities, what if we succeeded in tracing one back to the other! We have always acknowledged a sadistic component in the sexual drive; as we know, this component can develop a life of its own and turn into a perversion that dominates a person's entire sexual life. It also occurs as a dominant partial drive in one of those forms of organization of sexual life that I have termed ‘pre-genital’. But how could we possibly suppose that the sadistic drive, which aims to harm its object, derives from Eros, the preserver of life? Isn't it altogether plausible to suppose that this sadism is actually a death drive that has been ousted from the ego at the instance of the narcissistic libido, and as a result only becomes apparent in conjunction with the object?

So you have the enemies, the Death Drives, ready to destroy the humans, and Bravern on the other with the quality of being the Eros. The sentient robot’s ethos is to save the humanity first. All the while obsessing with his pilot, Ao Isami. Obsession and kindness overlapping.

@whypolar analysed their names, then doing some googling of the meanings of both Isami and Lewis’ names, it seems the two share the same description. Yours truly is not at all a Japanese language expert, this website suggests that Isami has 21 variations in kanji.

勇 means "bravery, courage."

Brave - Showing courage and strength in the face of danger or difficulty.

Daring - Willing to take risks and try new things.

Strong - Having great physical or mental power.

Courageous - Having or showing courage in the face of danger or difficulty.

Resolute - Firmly determined to do something.

Soldier - A person who serves in an army.

It describes Isami’s personality perfectly!

Lewis, on the other hand…

From the celebrated author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll, to lauded actor Daniel-Day Lewis, a boy called Lewis is in good company! Lewis is of German origin and means "Renowned warrior." It has many variations in Latin, French, and Gaelic languages that all point to the same sentiment of “strength” and “courage”. With the name Lewis, you can hope to instill your baby boy with a fearless optimism for life.

All three of them—Bravern, Isami and Lewis—are “strong and courageous.”

#bang brave bang bravern #yuuki bakuhatsu bang bravern #ao isami #lewis smith #isami x lewis #heidemarie #death drive #sigmund freud #masami obari #bravern thoughts

74 notes · View notes

koikishu · 1 month

Note

Hi! First of all I wanted to say that I only just found your account recently and it's very interesting, I love learning about other cultures and clothing has always been a big reason for that so I really appreciate the amount of research you put into your work!

Anyways, I'm also a big fan of Journey To The West and I found this photo depicting Princess Iron Fan that came from a 2010 Chinese opera performance "Monkey King: Flaming Mountain". Her outfit is very very pretty but I couldn't find any info on it no matter how hard I tried, the one thing I managed to find that was similar was called a feitian dress (I think, sorry if that's wrong), but they don't look quite the same as the one in this performance. I was wondering if you knew what it was called and if it has any historical accuracies behind the design of her outfit as well, thanks in advance! :)

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you're enjoying my blog.

So, I think you're on the right track with "feitian" dress. Another culture/ historical fashion blog, @ziseviolet, wrote an excellent post about feitian dress, its origins, and its modern versions that you should read here: https://www.tumblr.com/ziseviolet/672232299973296128/what-exactly-does-dunhuang-style-mean?source=share

Another thing to note is that it's a Chinese Opera performance, meaning that the costumes will blend the well-known character traits & signifiers from the original tale mixed with traditional Chinese Opera costumes/ accessories. As far as I could tell, Princess Iron Fan is some kind of demoness in the original story, and many gods/bodhisattvas/apsaras (i.e. feitian)/ demons were depicted wearing "feitian" style clothing to indicate their non-humanness to audiences.

We know that feitian style clothing isn't historically accurate and that many aspects of Chinese Opera costumes are also not historical, so there's not much else to find regarding this version of Princess Iron Fan's costume. I do agree that it's very pretty, but I don't think it has any special name or style other than "feitian." I hope you find this answer helpful! If not, see if @ziseviolet may have a better answer for you!

Regards,

Koikishu

#asks #huafuasks #chineseasks

54 notes · View notes

kelocitta · 2 months

Text

On Tumblr

I will not be moving. I'm fed up with AI but its a system that has poisoned every other site already, and poisoned the internet at large. Other than turning off the toggle and being mad that its happening again, I'm more than aware that my control over my work has already become increasingly flimsy on the internet landscape. Frankly, our data was scrapped through search engines long before tumblr asked for a cut of the pie just due to its public nature. So its hard to care that much by yet another site doing such, but its especially frustrating given how long tumblr did resist many of the temptations of data selling. Additionally, tumblr as a site handles content differently than others. A deleted blog's posts can still circle indefinitely due to the nature of how reblogs work. Deleting everything offers little protection, and moving anywhere else is just an additional ticking clock until similar happens, has already happened, or the sites are so new and flimsy that if you pay attention at all you can already see cracks ghosting along their design or operation. However it should be noted this frustrating move comes directly after another gross mishandling of privacy, site protections, and frankly a bafflingly public display of bigotry at the hand of the site CEO. It has been truly horrific that not only is this a consistent problem, but its one that comes at the tail end of a, frankly, much more upsetting action. I guess if I ask anything its to not let the existence of this new problem completely overwrite those events. Basically, I'm tired. More accurately I'm just fed up. AI scrapping is a problem I get very little say in, that's really the whole issue with its use of scraping as training method- the lack of say. I'm not a paying customer who can revoke support for a product, I'm just another individual experiencing the 'content' equivalent of a pickpocket. Glaze and nightshade are not fullproof solutions, nor do they 'poison' data sets in the way people might believe they do. Its an evolutionary arms race, but one with rollback and a billion different hydra heads. So yeah- I'll just grit and bare it and keep my money to myself. That said, for the people who truly want other options, I have other accounts on Twitter (Consistently used, although I talk and share less) and Bluesky. (Don't particularly like)

Sorry that the modern internet continues to suck!

#t.extpost #SO DEEPLY TIRED OF THE INTERNET SUCKING SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

147 notes · View notes

blues824 · 11 months

Note

If it's okay can you do dormleader reacting to a MC that has a similar power to frisk from undertale like RESET?

@woodrouforest wrote this on a shared Google Doc, and I'm sorry that it's not finished but this ask has been rotting in my inbox.

For each character I’m gonna take the liberty of it being only that specific character remembers

Warnings: Death, Blood, Panic attack

Riddle

At first he wouldn’t understand what is taking place, he just sees his own day repeating, bigger or sometimes smaller jumps.

He does end up believing the days are resetting.

takes advantage of it to stop students from breaking the rules

With his memory he gets more work done

I headcanon he has photographic memory

tries to figure out what who’s ability it is, takes notes and notices how none else acts different except for by the butterfly effect

Notices more when he gets closer with you, and the time his overblot happens

Sees you die and immediately calms down sobbing

“No, no, no- I just wanted everyone to obey the rules for their own good! This wasn’t supposed to happen” He sobs further, clutching your body closer. Blood,your blood, is all over him but he can't find the heart to care. The world fades around him till he finds the moment repeats itself. A rest…

doesn’t get med when Ace gives him the wrong tart

Only see your dead boy and starts silently crying while staring at you

Runs away and locks himself in his room

Breathing heavily and crying, doesn’t understand why you went so far as to near scrapie yourself to stop his overblott

Will only timidly open the door to you with puffy eyes, you explain to him how you can reset

“You’re okay.. you’re okay” He smiles as he cries, hugging you tight. Like you might just dust disappear in his arms. “Please don’t ever do that again, you can’t, you just can’t it's against the rules”

gets more lenient with his rules and never explains what happened that day

Because you gave him more trama

Accepts that you have the power but tell you to be careful because one day you might not be able to reset anymore

Getting closer to you and sometimes nags you to not reset so much

Slowly gets over fearing you will die and not reset, and gets more comfortable with you

Leona

Doesn’t really care at first and thinks it’s some kind of dejavú or that he didn’t sleep as long as he though

Azul

notices immediately, sees that no one else remembers and investigates himself

Finds out its you very fast and logically because the resets started when you came to the school and he suspects it you

Monitors you himself, and sees how you are the only one acting different after resets and causing a butterfly effect by that

He very intrigued by you and often tries to invite you to monstro lounge

Kalim

idk

Vil

Very suspicious of you because the resets stated with you

Corners you and makes you reveal that it is you

Idia

Thinks he is hallucinating, and blames it on sleep deprivation or having too many energy drinks

Gets annoyed with it then starts trying to figure out who is causing this

Monitors students via phones and finds out it’s you

Doesn’t do anything about it at first but monitors you more to find out your intentions

Malleus

I think Lillia would also be aware with him and they would both notice

Feel like he would ‘feel’ the reset’s magic residue(?) on you and find out its your ‘magic’

Would be very curious about you, tries to learn more about you

Likes finally having a relationship with you as ‘Horton”

Not even that far (Maybe the first time you meet) he asks why and how can you reset

197 notes · View notes

a-998h · 2 months

Note

Hi I hope your having a good day.

Anyways I've got a sagau idea

So I've made like ten-ish or over OCs who look exactly like/similar to me because of Lore Reasons.

So pretend Reader has their own universe with a look-alike self-insert and over ten OCs who look just like their IRL self because of Lore Reasons.

It only applies to physical appearance and it ranges from "you're identical to the Reader" to "you could be a relative to them."

Let's say that instead of Reader getting Isekai-ed to Teyvat, one of their OCs who looks just like them lands in there instead and is executed in Imposter AU fashion, no matter how much they say they aren't Reader and never even claimed to be them.

They wake up in their universe like it was just a nightmare, but now have scars permanently acquired from the Imposter Hunt.

As for Reader, they had a nightmare where they saw their OC brutally hunted and killed in all the worst angles and don't take it well.

Next time its time to boot up Genshin Impact, they just hand it to a friend who loves the game but don't have the storage to play it, and just watches them play.

Their acolytes are wondering why their creator isn't controlling them anymore.

"As glad as I am that your letting me play, what's the fuck happened to make you let go of your borderline obsession with it?"

"Nightmare."

"one hell of a nightmare to put this off, the fuck happened?"

"You know [OC's Name]? I had a nightmare they woke up in Teyvat and was murdered and tortured by almost everyone in Teyvat. Because they looked like a Creator Deity."

"There's never even been a mention of a Creator God, and looking like them got one of your favorites killed, good god."

"yeah I can't stomach this anymore. I think I'll focus on my own original creations instead, you can have my account for now on."

"Woof. Not too keen on spoiling my Teyvatian faves myself knowing they might be culpable in making you sad."

"yeah I'm scared of having nightmares of my other look-alikes being murdered."

"Whatever makes you happy."

From then on Teyvat has to grapple with only having attention from a friend of their Creator occasionally giving them the time of day instead of their Creator's doting.

Teyvat will have to grapple with the 'imposter' being one of their many direct creation always meant to look just like them.

Teyvat will have to grapple with having executed a direct creation of the creator and loosing their love because of it. All that love now directed to those very mistreated creations.

Teyvat will have to grapple with their Creator Deity not even knowing/remembering that they created Teyvat, and only thinks they made their current focus.

Okay now I'm imagining an AU where another look-alikes OC whose heard of what happens the first time around wakes up in Teyvat and it very intent on staying away from civilization and finding their own way back to their universe.

Like what if this happened because Teyvat or other parties couldn't get the Creator back yet, so they settled for the next best thing. Their own creation who looked oh so similar.

This fits with my own lore for my series on my blog.

They want you. You're their beloved god but they can't have you, at least not yet. Thanks to Travel and the existence of you controlling them they knew other world exist.

The first they thought was a copy of you. They hunted the imposter, how dare this weakling impersonate their god. The death was brutal. That one woke up with scars.

This repeated for who know how long. As they come to terms with the fact that they won't have you just yet, the settle for someone they think is related to you. There are traits shared between the two of you, but that one isn't their god. But the have to settle until they can have you.

The nightmares that follow you push you away, they're sorry. They want you back, they'll be nice to the next one if you just look their way again. Please, they need you.

There is guilt, they killed a creation of yours with no remorse. They killed someone because they happened to look like you, and Teyvat thought this person was lying about being their god. They'll all make it up to you, just please look their way again.

#genshin fanfic #cult au #sagau #creator!reader #sagau lore #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

52 notes · View notes