#starting to tag mostly out of spite towards everyone not tagging shit and making it ridiculously hard to find the posts i'm sure exist

[sleepymarmot]

Obi-Wan Kenobi, episode 1

I had a blast watching and liveblogging this, believe it or not!

[Spoilers for the next episodes, and hopefully vague spoilers for KOTOR]

I appreciate the prequels recap. I last saw them when TFA came out... It's very funny to see “It’s over, Anakin! I have the high ground” and “You underestimate my power” included in full seriousness, though.

Wow, they're opening with the younglings? Brutal. Oh, must be saving the kicker to bookend the episode, then.

Oh so we’re focusing on the “nazi stand-in” angle here?

Oh right, I should have watched for the kid in the opening. I didn’t try to see her among the others. Also interesting how this “ten years later” timeskip frames her as the viewpoint character, though the viewer isn’t supposed to immediately realize it.

Oh god the word “Inquisitors” was said with the same cadence/accent they greet your player character in Dragon Age Inquisition, I almost jumped!

Did... did they put the Asian guy in a stereotypical Asian hat?! Bit distasteful.

Omg I thought she was uncomfortable for some reason I didn’t realize she just resented the guy for monologuing lmfao. Also nice bait-and-switch with the Jedi, I totally assumed it was Obi-Wan despite having a second-long thought like “Huh, this guy is dressed like a Jedi”. Why is he dressed like a Jedi, by the way? Is nobody in the order familiar with the concept of blending in?

Oh, the hat guy speaks with a Japanese accent, too.

“You will forget this fixation with Kenobi or I will relieve you of your duties”, Palpatine never said to Vader, presumably.

Idk why the Inquisitor is mad, she was way more efficient at finding the target...

This is such a CGI flyover.

LMAO he does steal the meat super conspicuously.

Obi-Wan: *beautifully clean and fresh hair and beard, handsomely weathered but clean face* this random Jawa: wow you really need a bath :\\\ It's like those razors commercials with women “shaving” their already perfectly smooth legs...

Look, as a viewer I know what he’s doing, but isn’t spying on your neighbor’s small child with a pair of binoculars usually considered creepy?...

*scientist meme* Finally, a non-creepy introduction of a female character with a dressing montage! And of course it was not only because she’s ten but because that’s not her at all. Lol. But nice idea to introduce her social role and her actual personality separately!

Wait what the hell, he was telling this random Jedi to abandon everything and live a normal life and now he insists that “there’s more to life” and that Luke must be trained? Genuinely surprised to see the Hypocrisy not even thirty minutes in.

*completes the rant above, presses play again* “Like you trained his father?” Laughed out loud at that.

I didn’t really think about what her name was until I started watching the episode, but. Reva. Please tell me she was named after Revan on purpose!

Will the hat guy shut up, Reva is obviously grinding her Dark Side points! This is why she is a video game protagonist and not you.

Literally what do these two losers have against her when she’s literally picking all of the darksider dialogue options. It’s like she’s only one of them who’s even heard of leveling up. How tf are they planning to advance as Sith if they aren’t threatening and attacking innocent people with zero provocation in pursuit of their personal goal?

Noo, don’t show me Alderaan, it just reminds me of the bullshit “let’s fridge an entire planet to raise the stakes” and I get mad

TV shows that make you want to reinstall KOTOR and see if the black female preset looks anything like your new blorbo

The outfits of the asshole guests slap

Wait, I don’t remember this from the OT, was C3P0 with Leia? Like out in the open the entire time? And nobody connected the dots? Holy shit why is everyone so bad at finding Anakin’s kids

Why is this cousin arguing with a kid half his size... How old is he exactly?

Leia’s childish mannerisms are pretty endearing when they’re coming from, you know, an actual child

Literally who is Obi-Wan this is a show about two girlbosses so far

Bail Organa tells Obi-Wan to stop being sexist we love to see it. Dads delivering sick burns, the episode

Wait, what happened to the Jedi guy? Did the Sith not leave?

Oh, so Lola was a Helpful Tool That Would Help Us Later.

Does Obi-Wan have a location saved on his GPS? Or does he find it through the Force like a Jedi? The JPS if you will.

See, Reva is smart! Love the ambiguity of “he fought beside her father” – does she know?

Dude why the fuck did you not only dress like a Jedi but also wear the fucking lightsaber out in the open? A single braincell please?

“Executive producer: Ewan McGregor”, huh.

Why aren’t they telling us which people out of these names I don’t know played which character?

Alright, I must admit it. This episode slapped as much as the posts suggested.

*rewinds to the youngling scene* Oh, that’s the first kid to appear on screen! In the center! Love this.

(Before you jump on this post with corrections: after writing this, I googled “are inquisitors sith” and saw very convoluted explanation that only reinforced my impression that Reva is a legit KOTOR-type Sith and the other two don’t even get it and are not nearly in the same wheelhouse. Hopefully she stabs them for standing in her way ASAP. Since people insist that Inquisitors aren’t Sith this would probably never happen but I want to see this woman recite the Sith code as she overthrows her own superior.)

[barnibumblr]

Coffee Run - Part One

Pairing: Ina x Bea

Summary: Tensions are high after Bea is paired with Poppy on a project.

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, but mostly fluff!

Word count: 2045

Tagging: @ikingsley @kaitlynliaofanxx @kwaj115 @sheepmomther-personal @swimmingshoebakerydreamer @domakir @veenast @hellyeah90sbaby

***

“How do I look?”, Bea asked, walking into the common area like it was her own personal catwalk. Arms in the air, the brunette paused ahead of the kitchen island, adding a twirl for flair. Hiding her mouthful, Zoey threw her an exaggerated wink whilst she finished chewing her food. “Twit twoo Babe! You look pure fire!” She reached out to touch Bea, hissing and pulling her hand away at the ‘burn’.

When their laughter died down, Zoey shot a look at her watch “oh shit Bea, you’ve got five minutes to get across campus! And we both know this is a class you do not want to be late for”. Bea ran over to the door, slipping on her shoes and throwing her bag over her shoulder. The girl was right though, every minute Bea was late, was one less minute she could spend observing her beloved professor. As she stood up, Zoey was already holding the door open, half a slice of toast in the other hand. Bea rushed past, stopping to steal the toast with her teeth and leaving before her roommate could stop her.

Zoey stepped out into the corridor behind her, “yeah have my toast Bea, what’s mine is yours!” she called out across the bustling hallway. “Oh and say hi to Ms Candice for me” she added, purposely poking for a reaction. Shaking her head, Bea spun around to blow her second favourite New Yorker a kiss. Still moving with the crowd, she turned again to face the direction she was heading, trying to ignore the somersaults in her stomach as she recalled the impromptu book club reading with Ina. ‘I can’t believe I actually straddled my professor’ she taunted herself, mentally facepalming at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

Bea hurried her steps as she crossed the quad. All jokes aside, she was still desperately trying to impress Ina as her newly appointed TA and being late would not help her case. She was relieved to say the least, when she entered the lecture hall and the Professor was still unpacking her laptop.

The relief was short lived when she glanced around the room and found the only free seat was beside Chloe St James. Bea grunted under her breath, ‘great, just great’ she thought before taking her place next to the blonde. Her behind had barely touched the chair when Chloe threw her first look of disgust, “do you have to Hughes? My day was going just fine”. Bea narrowed her eyes, “it’s not exactly my first choice either Chloe, so how about we both just pretend I’m not really here?”. Along with her retort, she produced the most sarcastic and insincere smile she could summon.

“I’ve got a better idea” Chloe countered, “how about I act like you don’t exist?”. Bea paused, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, all while Chloe stared at her like she was the stupid one.

Ina cleared her throat pointedly and quiet swept across the room, immediately drawing Bea’s attention back to the front. She couldn’t help but think how incredibly sexy it was to watch Ina command the room, how easily she captured everyone’s interest and just kept it.

“Okay, so today we will be heading in a slightly different direction, a bit of a change from the last four weeks. We are going to start covering some elements of linguistic anthropology. I’ve got a short presentation to run through, you’ll have some time to note your key points, and then I would like to open the subject up to debate”.

The professor was just about to continue when a voice called out from the back, “are we going to mass debate Miss Kingsley?”. Ina rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Real smooth Craig. Tell me, how long have you been waiting to use that one?” she challenged. For a guy easily clearing 6ft, Craig almost disappeared in his chair. “Oh and it’s Professor Kingsley, thank you” she added as she launched her powerpoint.

“If everyone could please take out your textbooks and find page 356”, Ina instructed. Whilst everyone started to shuffle and organise themselves, Bea watched how Ina seemed to be searching the room. When her gaze finally settled on Bea, her eyes softened and a small smile graced her lips before she looked away. The eye contact was brief, but long enough for Bea to know Ina had just found what she was looking for.

The class were set to work after the presentation and Bea busied herself, trying her damnedest not to keep staring at the perfect specimen of a woman, currently seated on her desk at the front of the class. Bea’s swooning was cut short when she realised the sniggering she could hear was coming from beside her.

When Ina had finally agreed for Bea to be her TA, it was on the understanding that no drama would be brought into her classroom. It was for that reason Bea inhaled slowly as she turned to the blonde beside her, internally begging for patience. “Can I help you Chloe?” She asked, keeping her tone as neutral as humanly possible. The eye roll she received in reply was already pushing her to the limit, “I don’t know Farmsville, can you?”. Chloe’s tone dripped sarcasm, it took everything Bea had in her not to flip her desk there and then, instead she just calmly replied. “Chloe, if you have something to say, just come out and say it already?”.

Before Chloe could respond, Bea already regretted asking. People in the row in front started to turn their way, aware that it could go off any minute now, some with their phones at the ready.

“Well Bea, I actually wanted to ask you what perfume you were wearing?”, Chloe paused with her hand over her mouth but the brunette wasn’t about to answer. Bea clamped her jaw tightly shut, the muscles twitching in an effort to keep her cool. To make matters worse, Bea could see Ina now watching over her glasses. “Let me guess, is it pig de eurghhh? Chloe laughed excessively, looking over each shoulder to bask in the glory of her own joke.

‘Okay that was actually pretty funny’ Bea thought, taking a moment to appreciate Chloe’s attempt before correcting her. Remembering her voice, she kept it low as she spoke. “I think you meant Eau de Pig, but you know what Chloe… I’m just impressed you came up with that all by yourself!” Bea appraised.

The blonde’s eyes screwed up so tight they almost closed, Bea knew whatever was coming next would be spiteful. Thankfully Ina’s voice rang out across the classroom, “is there a problem ladies?”. Chloe plastered on a well rehearsed smile before responding. “Not now thank you professor, I was just trying to help Bea”, still facing forward her smile dropped to something resembling false pity. “It smells really bad up here, so I was just suggesting she shower more often… To wash away all the pig poo”. As she finished, she gestured at Bea, screwing her nose up.

“That’s quite enough Ms St James. I will absolutely not tolerate any attempt of bullying during my lectures, thank you” Ina reprimanded, her tone much firmer than the class had ever seen. Having Ina defend her should have been everything Bea wanted but instead she covered her face with her hand, trying to hide the embarrassment flooding her cheeks. ‘Oh great’ she thought, ‘ now everyone thinks I’m being bullied’.

Chloe sat back in her seat looking like the cat that got the cream. “See Farmsville, you don’t belong here. Belvoire is a way of life, you can’t just buy your way in and be accepted”. Bea was starting to wonder if Chloe had a point, was she in over her head? “I’m surprised Kingsley even offered you the TA position, I mean what does she even see in you? Maybe she just feels sorry for you, yeah that’s probably it”.

That was the final straw. Bea slammed her laptop closed and started to make her way towards the exit.

“Ms Hughes, is everything okay?” Ina asked, her brows furrowed in concern as Bea raced past her. Bea could only wave her away as the tears prickling her eyes threatened to fall. Ina followed her out into the hall, once she was clear of the classroom she called out to the brunette, who hadn’t even looked back. “Bea? Please stop, are you okay?”.

Ina was relieved when Bea finally halted at the end of the corridor, chasing her across campus would certainly arouse some unwanted attention. Keeping her back to the professor, Bea sighed “I just need to be alone Ina”. And with that she was gone, leaving Ina behind.

Later that afternoon, Bea was still hiding in her bed when her phone pinged.

———————————————————-

1 New Email

From: ikingsley@belvoire.edu

Afternoon Ms Hughes.

Sorry to contact you on such short notice, however I require your assistance as a matter of urgency. If you are available this evening, please could you stop by my office. My evening lecture will be finished at 19:30, so I can meet you there shortly after.

Best,

Professor Ina Kingsley

————————————————————

By the time Bea needed to leave, the campus was fairly quiet, only the odd student passing here and there. Bea wasn’t sure what she would say when she got to Ina’s office, she just knew she needed to apologise. Although she felt bad for walking away from Ina that morning, the last thing she wanted was for her to see just how much Belvoire was really affecting her.

When she arrived the door was already slightly ajar. Bea peered around it, to find the professor sitting in one of the armchairs. Ina hadn’t noticed her yet, so she took the liberty of just watching her for a moment, absorbing her beauty.

The older woman was sat back in her chair, one hand in her lap, the other propping up her chin on the arm of the chair. She seemed to be deep in thought as she stared out the office window, so Bea approached her slowly. At first Ina appeared perfectly still, but as she got closer, Bea could see her furiously jigging her leg. Ina’s aura of calm was not quite reflected from the waist down.

Despite the slow approach, Ina still startled when her visitor came into view. “Oh, Bea!” she laughed nervously, hand to her chest. Bea awkwardly returned a smile as she took the other seat, “Ina, I…” she started. Ina leant forward to listen, her elbows now resting on her knees. Opening her mouth to talk, Bea didn’t quite know where to begin or how to excuse her behaviour, instead her eyes dropped to the floor.

Sensing Bea’s discomfort, Ina knew it was time to put her plan into action. “Right” she said, standing up and straightening out her skirt. Bea watched her move across the room, waiting for the wholesome stack of quizzes she thought were coming her way. Instead Ina picked up and put on her coat.

“We’ve got a lot to get through, so I was thinking we could go grab a coffee first?” she asked, untucking her hair from the collar.

“Are you sure another date’s a good idea?” Bea questioned with a smirk. Although she was upset, she still had it in her to make the other woman blush and she got exactly the response she was going for. Ina grinned, shaking her head at the floor as the tips of her ears turned red.

Ina paused at the door, openly pondering. “I’m not sure of much when it comes to you Bea, but… What I do know is that coffee is never a bad idea”.

Regardless of how bad her day had been, Bea loved how she could bring Ina’s walls down, even if only temporarily. “You’re not really selling it to me, Ina” she teased.

“Miss Hughes, please will you allow me the pleasure of your company and join me on a brief walk to the coffee shop?”. Despite the flutter she felt in her stomach, Bea laughed at Ina’s formality. She made her way to the door, giggling again as the professor held it open with a bow.

***

[beomglocks]

supermodel ; c.yj

warnings & other: angst?, this isnt recent, reading it back makes me cringe kinda, this is so old just keep that in mind, i still wanted to post it, based on sza’s supermodel, i love sza, like so fucking much, jjunie does too, omg taste, lets date baby

that is my greatest fear

that if, if i lost control

or did not have control, things would just, you know

i would be... fatal"

"get the hell away from me yeonjun," you spat through gritted teeth. you yanked your arm away from his unbelievablely tight grip on it. in all the times you had known him he had never manhandled you this much unless you guys were fucking but that’s another story.

"well what the fuck is this then huh?" he angrily snatched up the letter you had written earlier that day from the bed you both shared. well, used to share. he was fuming and to be honest you hadn't expected that reaction.

arguments with yeonjun were by far a rarity however he was never yelling and cursing at you. he usually would remain calm and make up afterwards.

"fuck you," you answered coldly. you hadn't even noticed the tears streaming down your face but yeonjun was already on it as he gingerly wiped them away, a contrast to his previous attitude toward you.

"don't touch me," you sneered. you stepped back to the suitcase you were currently packing. "'im leaving yeonjun, i can't take living like this with you anymore,'" he read out loud. you froze but brushed it off and sniffle as you continued to pack your clothes.

"i'll make sure not to mistakenly pack your clothes with mine," you mumbled miserably. you heard him let out a frustrated sigh, he walked over to you and yanked you up so that he could look at you in the face.

"what the fuck did i do?!" he yelled. you flinched but showed no signs of backing down, you weren't gonna let him see that you were intimidated. "ask your new bitch."

you watched as he froze but brought himself back by looking back down at you with confusion but mostly anger. "what?" he asked.

you scoffed, "i heard about how you barely hang out with the other members anymore, let alone barely stay around me, about how you stopped writing music and dancing. i thought you lived and breathed that shit." he opened his mouth to speak but you continued.

"don't even get me fucking started yeonjun, i know you're cheating on me too. the members told me how you've been bailing on them to fuck some random bitch every week. i've stayed quiet and obedient but this is the last fucking straw. why the fuck did you bail on me on Valentine's Day while I was here busting my ass to cook you food and get prettied up!" you were full on sobbing now. "why don't you go call her up, matter of fact, how about after i leave you call her up and fuck her into that bed right there. i bet you or her wouldn't mind."

you tried to control your tears but honestly you didn't care anymore, you had to show yeonjun that he had hurt you too much to bear now.

"baby...y/n..." he tried consoling you but honestly what would he say that wouldn't hurt more. you were aware of the fact that he was staring so deep into your soul right now, the way his slim fingers were rubbing up and down your arms, you really wished it was comforting instead of feeling like burns.

you roughly wiped the tears of your face and looked into his eyes. "fuck it, i guess since i know all this fucked up shit about you i should tell you..beomgyu and i have been fucking behind your back," you wanted to sound spiteful, after all you only did what you did for revenge but you did have some feelings for choi beomgyu.

you watched as the look on yeonjuns face went from calm and understanding to enraged once again. "WHAT," he shouted. he held your arms tighter so you couldn't run now. "LET GO ASSHOLE," you shouted back.

"WHAT THE FUCK Y/N, MY BEST FRIEND REALLY?! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" he might as well have been shoving you into the wall at this point. "i don't care!" you cried. "am i really that easy to forget? it can't be THAT easy, going around messing around with these other girls, leaving me lonely for prettier women you know i need too much attention for that shit. you KNOW how i am and i trusted you with that, i needed you!" he looked down at you as you put your head on his chest in defeat, you were way too tired for this right now.

it's true that yeonjun knew how insecure with yourself you got. it reminded you of a time you all were just hanging out and soobin had brought his girlfriend. everyone in the group could tell how disgustingly in love he was with that girl. at some point in your own relationship, yeonjun had stopped looking at you as if you created the stars in the sky. you guys weren't even standing near each other because yeonjun had said he "felt uncomfortable" with skinship in public which was another fucking lie of his. a friend of taehyun's who had tagged along with you guys had even asked if you and yeonjun were brother and sister, ouch.

when you both got home that day yeonjun didn't even comfort you or mention the comment made about your guys' relationship, he went straight to sleep. you had stood by the door frame watching his chest heave up and down as he slept. you just shook you head and joined him, trying to forget the comment and his actions but he ended up making it up to you with sex and of course you just forgave him.

you lifted your head from his chest and realized he had calmed down a bit. this boy and his mood swings.

"give me one good fucking reason why i shouldn't leave," you shoved his chest but not enough to really move him. you weren't even angry anymore just tired of everything.

"y/n.." it was as if you could see the gears turning in his head, looking for the right excuse. you sighed for what seemed like the 100th time. you didn't wanna hear an excuse if it wasn't gonna be genuine, you knew he would just go back to doing whatever it is he was doing on his days off and you didn't wanna hear it.

"let go of me yeonjun, we're done."

[nitewrighter]

Hiya, mun! So you don't really have to answer or post this, but when is it okay to start bullying someone on the internet? Or to start spewing vitriol at them? Or what missteps/misdeeds do they have to have made for people to say that its fine/justifiable to make fun of them? Sorry for the odd ask 😅

Oh like... when I say I’m “Bullying” Travis McElroy, I’m not trying to be actively malicious towards him, I mean it mostly in a, “I’m well aware he has much more of an online following than me and isn’t actually all that bad a guy, but I’m giving him shit because sometimes the content he puts out there, or its proliferation by his followers annoys me” but like... I don’t consider it particularly mean--it’s more like, “hey you’re being obnoxious, so here I am also being obnoxious with the assumption that you’re probably not going to see it and this is all operating under a context of internet comedy.” 

But I think in general, if you’re dealing with someone whose views or content really morally sits wrong with you, there’s a couple of approaches:

1. Mute/block them and their content-- Like, at the end of the day you curate your online experience, and you literally don’t have to see or interact with their shit. There is no obligation there. This is the quickest and easiest approach and 9/10 is better for everyone’s mental health and energy in the long run. Not every fight has to be your fight, not every bit of horrible jackshit out there needs a response--mute and move on. Like, I have a handful of relatively popular posts floating out there, but if I see terfs showing up in the notes, I just start blocking the shit out of them--and it’s pretty easy because they’re always reblogging shit in circles, so all it takes is one idiot with a URL like “My-uterus-and-hatred-are-my-entire-personality” to unveil the whole infestation, and I block the shit out of everyone who reblogs from them. I do not need their hateful shit anywhere near me or my followers and I’m not going to give them a platform by engaging with them. 

2.  If necessary, maybe talk (civilly!!) to your mutuals if they’re sharing content from that person about the issues you have with them, and work something out so that they make a tag for that content that you can block, or that they recognize, “Oh that person did a fucked up thing” and block that person as well. Again, this is another approach that doesn’t require actually confronting the offender and doesn’t require a lot of energy and is ultimately more about curating your own online experience.

3. Okay so here’s where we start talking about confrontation and like... the thing about the internet is that shit can get messy fast. Lives can get ruined fast. If this were 2013, maybe I could say that you can try to approach someone in good faith, discuss your differences of belief, but unfortunately you’re talking to post-2020 Sarah who is in 24/7 “STAY BACK I WILL CUT YOU” mode due to the whole... *gestures vaguely at the pandemic and attempted coup and blatant fascism in right-wing circles* ...y’know. But if you think it’s possible to engage with someone in good faith...if you know them to generally be a good and reasonable person, it can be worth talking shit out with them. Civility can be much more effective in getting people to listen than we think. But at the end of the day, listen to your gut. People are dangerous out there.

Honestly a big savior to my mental health has been the acknowledgement that, in the grand scale of the internet, de-platforming can be so much more powerful than outright confrontation and a lot of the time it’s better because there is no good-faith discussion with a lot of the assholes out there and all debating with them is going to do is wear you out because a lot of these people made their choices about who they are a long time ago, and then barred the gates to their brains--any new information that brings their years-long beliefs or tastes into question is ‘fake news’ or ‘cancel culture’ or ‘rampant political correctness.’ They will come up with as many words as they need to rationalize, “I don’t believe that because it makes me uncomfortable.” So like...essentially what I’m saying is, is that a lot of the time, all internet bullying does is make people stick to their corners harder. How many memes have we reblogged about “Doing the thing out of spite?” That’s... pretty much how polarized shit has gotten. 

So like... man, I won’t say there isn’t a lot of rage in me, because there is, but you have to be very discerning when and where you’re going to throw that molotov, and like they say in The Good Place, when you throw a molotov, all your problems become different problems. So I don’t believe in anon hate, and I don’t think dogpiling helps either (and a lot of the time I think dogpiling comes from people not being aware that they’re dogpiling, like the 9000 people on that one aliens post I made that are all miraculously completely unaware that 8999 people before them have all added on the text addition of “wHAt iF thE aLienS CamE aS dOgs?” Reading comprehension on the internet is shit, just something to keep in mind. This is just text on a screen for a lot of people and they don’t recognize the scale of ‘9000 notes’ on a post. There is a lot of anger in me, but..I need to be very sure I’m not making the situation worse by lobbing that anger out into cyberspace. 

[bellatrixobsessed1]

On Azula Fans vs...The Rest Of The Fandom???

 So I was talking with several people (@wingsfreedom, @wish-i-was-fiction, and @iabsentmindeddreamer--though I didn’t actually reply to them, just read their post) on this post (https://wish-i-was-fiction.tumblr.com/) and I wanted to write my own desperate post as I have been kind of thinking about for a while but have been hesitant to post because Idk how it would be received/I don’t want to start anything. But it looks like a thing has already started so I might as well.

I’ll start by saying that this isn’t a Bryke, Yang, or any part of the fandom hate post.

The thing I’ve been wanting to talk about is that I feel like Azula fans (and Zutara fans) are kind of being ostracized by the fandom and I feel like the creators kind of help that happen.

I can’t say when I started feeling this, I think that it might have been around the whole Azula vs Katara debate. That whole ordeal made me feel like Azula fans just aren’t taken seriously/aren’t respected even in in civil discussion. Like I ended up pulling out of that debate because I felt as though people were becoming dismissive and/or aggressive. I’m not saying it was everyone, not at all. But there were a handful. And yes, I am aware that it came from both sides. But that debate has since died down, which I’m glad for. 

The point is, things like this seem to keep happening. I also think that there’s a certain user who keeps targeting specific portions of the fandom and says things in the fan tags that come off to me as very instigating and antagonizing. These posts tend to lead to a whole bunch of people coming along to completely drag Azula’s character through the mud and eventually her fans as they try to defend her character and justify liking it. I’ve since blocked that user, because (though they’ve always been rather civil with me) I just got tired of seeing hate towards a fandom I’m in and I started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to keep conversation civil. I say this because I want everyone to know that, though I’ve mentioned this person, I don’t particularly have bad blood with them or whatever. Those two things I mentioned were kind of the catalyst in me thinking that Azula fans are kind of isolated from the rest of the fandom. 

And if this is beginning to sound familiar; I turn everyone to Zutara. The very first part of the fandom to be cast out of the fandom in a sense. Now I never shipped Zutara, in fact I hate it very much. And I used to think that the Zutara fans were ‘bitter’ and ‘hostile’. Now I kind of sympathize with them. I feel like that bitterness comes from not only not being able to see their ship on screen, but also because they’re kind of the black sheep of the fandom. To the point where even the creators seem to shit all over them and make fun of them and this is NOT okay. Because when creators start making fun of sections of the fandom, even in jest, it basically gives the fandom a green light to do the same. Like, ‘oh the creators do it, so its fine if we do’. It creates for a very bad and unfriendly atmosphere. 

I feel as though the same thing is starting to happen with Azula fans. With Yang calling them a cult (even if this was a joke I feel like it is in very poor taste) and Hicks saying that they are scary. Etc. 

There are two things that I think happen here (and it is the same stuff that happened with Zutarians).

1. Anti’s post hate in Azula’s tag (and the Zutara one) and fans get ont he defensive

2a. Some vocal people--seemingly on twitter--send hate to creators and the creators react creating a chain. 

2b. Some fans started 

I’ll discuss point 1 first because this happened first. I feel like one of the biggest problems is that a handful of people have begun to post Azula hate in her fan tags. Once upon a time people kept hate out of the fan tags with the exception of one or two posts every now and again. Then it started happening. And I have never seen an instance where massive amounts of hate in a fan tag was met with a positive response. The hate was posted and there was a reaction. Some fans were more kind in their responses and others got more aggressive. The amount of aggression increased as the volume of hate increased. And this I understand why Azula fans and Zutara fans get so irritated. We just want to enjoy our tag and see love for Azula and Zutara. But people keep knocking them. And so it puts fans on the defensive and starts a chain; hate is posted, fans argue back, anti’s now feel justified in their hate (and fans feel justified in their outrage), and more fighting happens. 

All the while a second chain was being created. Unfortunately I do think that this one was started by the Azula and Zutara fandoms (mostly on twitter). I’ve noticed and have been bothered by this. I’ve been rather quite on this one because I like the people in this fandom and I love talking to them. But there are a few people who I feel like are being rather unfair or harsh. I feel like this fandom has become a bit of an echochamber for shitting on the comics and on other characters (mostly Iroh, Zuko, and Ursa) and I can see how that would be off putting. Like people started woobifying Azula and using other characters to prop her up I feel like this actually drove several people away. Granted I feel like this was actually a bit reactory as well--people kept using Azula and hating on her to prop Zuko up and so the opposite began to happen. But I digress; I’ve started to notice that people started taking an almost ‘Azula did nothing wrong/is the victim mentality’. And I strongly disagree with that. I won’t get into that now because that’s not the discussion. But it began to get off putting for me personally. But I like the character and fans of her enough to stay.

Between the above and that crazy Sokkla vs Tyzula ship war, we lost a lot of really fun people who used to shitpost, make fanart, and write fics. And so the bulk of our tag has disintegrated into discourse and arguing instead of having fun like back in the day.

And then the hate began to stray from discourse to, actually sending hate to the creators; Yang in particular. Again I think that this was more of a twitter thing (hence why I don’t use twitter, I think that it’s a nightmare of a site tbh and a breeding ground for bad behavior). A good vocal few kept complaining about how the comics and show were/was being written and after receiving so many harsh comments the creators began to react. I’m gonna just say it; I don’t think that Bryke (in the above link) was in the wrong here. I feel like they were pretty tactful and respectful in their wording. And as a fic writer I 100% agree with them that it is their story and so they should write it as they see fit, even if I don’t like xyz plotline. And as someone who has had someone try to strong arm me into writing my fic their way, I understand their frustration.  My issue lies with Yang mostly. His ‘the Azula fandom is kind of a cult’ left a really bad taste in my mouth. Joke or not, this kind of grants people permission to judge the entire fandom. And we already saw it a bit in the very clip. This girl asked an innocent question, that response was her answer, and the crowd actually laughed. I feel like that was probably very uncomfortable for her. This was followed up by Hicks saying “I got a scary email from an Azula fan...please be nice to me guys”. Again, I’m not gonna knock Hicks too much because I feel like she’s still new (at least to Avatar) and that hate-mail can be quite rattling. 

The point I’m trying to make is that a second chain has been created. Once Yang made his cult remark that cued a lot of outrage in the Azula fandom and it was a green light for them to openly hate on him and his work. Which is something that was already happening. In this regard I am kind of on Yang’s side. I’ve noticed that the fandom began to religiously knock Yang for everything he did with the comics in the same way that Zutarians started knocking Bryke for everything Kataang. Again I found myself off put by all the hate because I actually kind of enjoyed the comics. Discussion of the comics always seemed to lead to more debating over whether they were good or not. I do feel like Yang didn’t like Azula’s character from the start, but people sending hate and him seeing this probably didn’t help. 

Eventually he reacted with his cult remark and so the fans felt justified in being more spiteful to the man. They started posting more hate. And so Yang probably feels more justified in thinking that her fan base is scary. And so the people who haven’t been posting hate and sending mean tweets his way are viewed as scary and mean too. 

Where I disagree with Yang is that he made that remark at all. While I understand being frustrated, I really hated that generalization. As mentioned above, even the fans who liked the comics are now associated with unkindness and hate. I really enjoyed the comics, though that enjoyment is kind of shadowed by a feeling of being unwelcomed. And with his generalization I think that it kind of puts a bit of the stigma around the fandom in the exact way that Zutarians have a stigma of being hostile. 

And when such a stigma is created it starts to become true because the fans feel like, ‘well they already see us this way, might as well be this way’. It starts to become true because others go into the tags to knock fans for being aggressive to the creators and so more people get defensive and the cycle just continues. 

Now with Azula’s fandom, this is only just starting, but I can see it getting to Zutara levels pretty quickly. And that’s a shame because this fandom is something I have enjoyed for a while and I like being able to react with other parts of the fandom. But personally I haven’t been venturing outside of the Azula tag much because I feel like I’m only going to see hate and arguing if I do. 

Idk, I hope that this didn’t come off as antagonizing to anyone because I’m not trying to blame any one group of people. Tbh I think that everyone has kind of played their part in this hot mess. I just really wanted to get this off of my chest. Mostly because I want people to tell me that I’m wrong lol and that the Azula fandom isn’t becoming a black sheep fandom and that I’m seeing something that isn’t actually there lmao.

I hope that I was able to explain things clearly, fairly, and kindly. Feel free to discuss in the comments and stuff. 

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

Okay so bc of how Meapless in Seattle would play out in the Relocation AU, Doof would have no reason to drink the liquefied cutonium. Cause he drinks it while trying to deny that he was there on a coffee date with Peter. Everyone is just playing keep-away with the container. (That said, it'd be funny if he DID drink it for some reason bc of the bit where the gang picks up the cutified Doof. They'd probably be like ._. "... That you, Dr. D?")

in general, the entire episode would play out way differently because the a- and b-plot gangs would inevitably end up joining forces. perry would definitely end up knocking mitch and balloony's robot suits around if they dared threaten phineas and ferb. (also i want to know what candace would think of balloony. i'm sure she'd have Words on that whole situation and it'd be super fucking funny to see.)

I should really start tagging posts about this au now... welp, live and learn lmao

Sooooo I’m going to stay up until 3 am waiting for the new Taylor Swift thing to drop on Disney+ so I can watch it with the rest of the fandom on twt, which means I have more than enough time to go off on tangents and I apologize in advance

I definitely think if/when I write this, I definitely want Heinz to drink the cutonium just for shits and giggles, but it didn’t occur to me until you said this that there wouldn’t really be a reason for him to do it, so, naturally, I rewatched the entire episode just to figure out that one scene and because I love that episode and I have a general idea of how it might go down:

It’s kinda the opposite of the actual episode, where it’s Peter and Perry are at the coffee shop and Heinz is outside (idk what he’s doing there tho bc he’s not visiting Peter uhhhhh help), and Heinz does something loud and stupid (probably falls over or something idk he’s clumsy he would totally do it) and everyone in the coffee shop looks out the window to see what happened, and Heinz looks through the window to see if anyone noticed (and they did). Obviously, Heinz sees Perry (and Peter but mostly Perry) and he’s like :))))))) and my original plan had been that Perry runs out to see him and gives him a hug or something cute like that, but my new plan is that Perry actually runs away because he’s afraid that if OWCA finds out that Heinz saw him, he’ll be relocated again and he was just starting to get used to Seattle.

Heinz runs around the building and tries to catch up to him, and he after Too Much Yelling, he finally gets Perry to stop around the same spot they were in the episode (with Peter slowly catching up). Idk what he’s gonna yell but it’s gonna be something really pure and heartwarming ig idk words are hard, but Perry’s gonna freeze and Heinz is gonna run towards him while paying absolutely no attention who his feet whatsoever and whoops he falls in one of the kids’ ditches.

*casual switch to present tense bc there’s literally no reason to write this in future tense*

Perry turns around and looks down at him and he can’t help but smile because he knows he shouldn’t be here but this man is just so freakin adorable and he absolutely remembers why he loved their nemesisship (not that he’d ever forgotten, of course, but it’s hitting him harder now that he sees him). Heinz’s just like “You gonna give me a hand?” (in a lighthearted way obviously) and Perry is absolutely not going to give him a hand because Heinz would end up pulling him in instead, but it doesn’t matter anyways because Heinz makes a really big gesture when he asks and he ends up knocking the cutonium loose. Perry hops down with him to check it out (and Heinz is lowkey offended that he’s more interested in this cup than his ex-nemesis) and then Mitch shows up and he’s like “Hey gimme the cup” and Heinz is like “nu-uh my cup” and Mitch is like “GIMME DA CUP” and Heinz is like “fine, take the cup!” and then downs the cutonium right in front of him out of pure spite and that’s why he ends up drinking the cutonium (and subsequently gets kidnapped by Mitch (after being tossed around like a game of hot potato))

Ngl I don’t really know how the rest of the fic is gonna go at all but you’re absolutely right that things are different so I’m gonna do some spitballing here,

For one, I feel like the kids would stop heading to the Flynn-Fletchers as much because it was just so sad, but for the sake of this fic, we’re gonna say that everyone was at the Flynn-Fletchers when this started so now Buford and Baljeet are there with them. They end up getting hold of Heinz the same way they do in the show, and Phineas absolutely does say “... that you, Dr. D?” (purely because I love when the kids call him “Dr. D” it makes my heart happy). And Heinz is like, “Perry the platypus is here!” and the kids are like 0_0 and even Phineas isn’t quite sure wtf is happening, but The Man Of Action Ferb pushes him out of the way and follows Heinz’s instructions (all while ignoring Meap talking about the cutonium bc this is far more important) and they find Peter and Perry still over by the ditch and someone yells down to them (or, more specifically, to Perry) and Perry looks up and sees them and starts tearing up, and they let him and Peter in and Perry just jumps up into Phineas’s arms (he can’t exactly jump up into Ferb’s because he’s driving) and it’s a very heartwarming moment and Ferb hands Buford his handkerchief and everything and then someone ruins the moment. Idk if it should be Meap being like “Someone wanna fill me in on wtf just happened?” or Heinz being like “Wtf Perry you ran away from me but not them?” but it sure do ruin the moment, that’s for sure

Uhhhh idk that’s all i got on that. I guess Mitch gets Heinz back and then the kids team up with Perry (and Peter this time) and go get him and stuff happens? And there’s a running “gag” ig where Buford is the only one that thinks it’s weird that Heinz drank the cutonium out of spite and he keeps bringing it up and everyone else is like yeah that sure did happen whats your point

Oh my god tho I need the kids to see Ballooney. Literally everyone else would be like “oh no it’s an evil balloon ex-best-friend we should be scared” and Candace is like WHAT THE  F U C K  IS THIS THING and she is the only one to question why the fuck there’s a sentient balloon man there fdhfsjadfhsjkad

[thetravelerwrites]

Wrykas (Minotaur) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Female Human/Male Minotaur Additional Tags: Exophilia, Minotaur, Sex, Oral Sex, Princess, Mercenaries, Light Dom/Sub Relationship, Chubby Reader, Reader-Insert Content Warnings: Kidnapping, Abusive Parents, Neglectful Parents, Words: 6349

A submission for @hufflesmonsters​! A princess is kidnapped fairly regularly by an opposing kingdom's monarchy to spite her parents, but she comes to regard the time away from her neglectful parents as vacations. One day, a single mercenary comes to retrieve her, but a sudden snowstorm forces them to spend time alone together. Please leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Being a princess came with perks and pitfalls. On the plus side, you got whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted it. On the down side, your country had been in a petty feud with the neighboring kingdom since before you were born, and they seemed to think you were an excellent bargaining chip to get their demands met.

The abductions started when you were young; men hired by the crown took you from your room and held you in a secure location until your parents paid the ransom. Back then they were pretty terrifying, with blindfolds and ropes. Your captors were kind, however, and treated you well.

As you aged, though, your capture turned into something of a spontaneous vacation a couple of times a year. Your abductors would come in the dead of night, wake you and let you pack a bag, lead you to a waiting carriage, complete with wine and snacks, and you’d all tease each other as they carted you off to a chalet on the border of your two kingdoms. Both you and they thought this feud was stupid and that the abductions were a joke, but they had a job to do and you understood: got to pay the bills somehow.

The hostage situation usually ended one of two ways: either your parents paid the ransom, or they sent bonehead mercenaries who weren’t aware that this was mostly a picnic for you and came in all valiant and foolhardy, and your captors had to knock them all out, dump them back over the border, and pretend you escaped in the chaos to avoid bloodshed. You’d all struck a deal early on: no blood, no tears, no widows, no orphans. A couple of bumps on the head and some bruised egos, sure, but no one died. That was the rule. If your captors ever broke that rule, you’d become a lot less cooperative.

One night, very late into autumn, you woke to hear someone tip-toe into your room. Ah, yes. It was about time.

“Ethan?” You called.

“Yes, My Lady. It’s time,” You heard his voice call. Ethan was an older gentleman and was your first captor, gentle and accommodating, and he always oversaw your care during the abductions. He was the closest thing you had to a best friend. It was a shame you only saw him a few times a year.

“Finally,” You said, leaping out of bed and throwing on a dressing gown. “I’ve had a bag packed for weeks. You’re terribly late this season. I’ve been dying to get out of here.”

He chuckled. “My apologies, Lady, the opposing crown has been unusually reasonable this year. But it always comes back around, doesn’t it?”

“Thank the gods,” You replied, grabbing a few things from your vanity table. “I don’t know what I’d do without these trips abroad. Another day of my mother fussing about my ‘healthy appetite’ and I’ll go batty. I hate this place. Any time I can get away is a blessing.”

Ethan nodded knowingly. You’d complained to him many a time about your parents haughty nature and constant criticism of everything about you, from your weight to how you dress to your relaxed and casual attitude toward the servants.

Your parents were the worst sort of nobility, the kind people fawned over when in their presence but mocked scathingly behind their back. They were proud and arrogant and hard to please, and you were a prime example of everything they disliked. You took it as a compliment, but you did have to admit that their relentless judgment was wearing, and any break from the ferocious nagging was a welcome relief.

“Ready, Lady?” Ethan asked.

“Yes,” You said, taking his proffered hand. “And what did I tell you? You can call me by my name.”

“Nope,” He said, grinning. “You may not care about the propriety of your station, but I’d rather not have my tongue cut out, if you please.”

You sighed. “Fine, fine. Let’s just get out of here.”

There was a tunnel under the castle that a previous monarch had used to escape during a coup, and it was little known by anyone besides you. This tunnel had been discovered during your first abduction when your kidnappers hid from guards, and now it was your favorite means of escaping the castle. It led out to the woods a safe distance from the walls, where guards patrolled, and made it easy to get away.

It had taken you much effort to keep the entrance and exit hidden over the years, since your parents kept trying to discover how the kidnappers kept getting in and out so easily, but you had managed to keep it secret.

When you both were safely inside and the entrance was sealed, Ethan lit a torch and the two of you made your way out into the woods. Once there, he led you to the waiting carriage and ushered you inside. He jumped up into the driver’s box with Ira, another regular who you were friendly with, and snapped the reins, jolting the carriage forward and toward your secret hideaway.

It was nearly mid-day by the time you arrived there, and you had fallen asleep on the way. Ethan gently shook you awake and took your bag, offering you a hand as you stepped down. Ah… if only he weren’t married.

“How long do you think I’ve got?” You asked him as he opened the door to the perfectly kept chalet.

“Oh, likely a week. I mean, they know where the chalet is, but at this point, finding mercenaries that we haven’t beaten up will be difficult.”

“Wonderful,” I said, clapping my hands and opening my luggage. “I can’t wait to get settled and relax for a while.”

“We’ve got guards patrolling the perimeter. If there’s any trouble, we’ll let you know.”

“Thank you, Ethan,” You said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You and your men are my best boys. If I ever become queen, you lads are definitely hired as my Queen’s Guard.”

He grinned and bowed, leaving you to get comfortable.

That evening, most of the boys who weren’t out guarding the perimeter sat with you for a full dinner and a card game. You took Tebin for every coin he was worth, and Jos won it all back with a smug grin on his wide face. Ruik got drunk and tried wearing your dressing gown, but being a goblin, it trailed several feet behind him as he moved and he tripped over it constantly, making the chalet shake with laughter. The boys may have been hardened mercenaries, but they always had the best booze and sure knew how to show a lady a good time.

Around midnight, when things were winding down, there was some commotion outside in the distance. All the men got grim looks on their faces, except for Ruik, who was passed out on a footstool, and pulled out their weapons. You pulled your own short sword from under the mattress and leveled it at the door. The sword had been a gift on your thirteenth birthday from the lads, and each one had taken it upon themselves to show you a trick or two with it.

“Ethan!” Gern called. He was the only orc on the team. “You better get out here! We’ve got a spot of trouble!”

“What’s going on?” Ethan called through the door.

“Big fella took out the perimeter guard. They ain’t dead, but their gonna be limpin’ tomorrow. Big bastard says he won’t hurt nobody else if you come out and have a chat with him. Says he knows you.”

“Ask him his name!” Ethan responded.

There was a few seconds of muffled conversation, and Gern called back, “Wrykas!”

Ethan’s eyes widened and he sheathed his sword. “Wrykas?” He said in an undertone. “Holy shit, I thought he was dead.” He turned to you. “Stay here, lass, I’ll sort this out.” He looked at the other lads. “Keep her safe.”

The others nodded sternly and tightened the grip on their various weapons. The lot of you waited tersely as Ethan talked to the newcomer, unable to hear what they were saying. After a moment, Ethan came back in and instructed everyone to lower their weapons. The boys did so reluctantly. You lowered your own sword, but kept it in hand.

Ethan came back into the cottage, followed by an absolutely massive minotaur that had to duck in order to get his horns in the door. You were taken aback by his size and coloration. You’d seen minotaurs before, but this one was striking. He had white fur from the tip of his nose to the top of his head, and also down his chest, but his ears and eyes were brown, and his neck, back, and shoulders were covered in black fur. There were white and brown speckles, like freckles, on his shoulders.

Oh no… he’s cute.

Ethan slapped Wrykas on the shoulder. “This is an old army buddy of mine, Wrykas.” Ethan then introduced all of the gang.

“And I assume this little lady is the princess I’ve been hired to retrieve?” The minotaur asked.

“No! Already?” You whined, tutting. “Damn it. I was hoping for at least a few days of peace and quiet.”

Wrykas snorted, seemingly confused. “You don’t… want to go back?”

“Hell no! I hate it there. These ‘abductions’ are the only time I get to be myself and not have to worry about my parents bullshit. You’re ruining my vacation, you dick!”

Wrykas’s head rocked back in surprise. Whatever he expected you to say to him, that wasn’t it.

You groaned and began packing your things. “Did you bring the ransom?”

“I… no, their Majesties hired me to retrieve you. My skill is apparently something to be commended because they sought me out specifically.”

“Well, considering you took out four of Ethan’s men, there must be some truth to it.” You took out a sack of gold from your bag that was enough to both cover the ransom and buy the boys a few shiny new toys as well, and tossed it to Ethan. He snatched it from the air with a wink.

“You have the ransom?” Wrykas asked.

“Of course,” You scoffed. “These guys have mouths to feed. I’m not going to let their babies go hungry because my parents and the neighboring monarchy are having a twenty-five-year temper tantrum.”

“You’re… not what I expected from speaking with the crown,” Wrykas said.

“That’s not surprising,” You replied dryly as you help Ethan and the men get their gear together. “My parents don’t know anything about me. They haven’t bothered to know me since I was a small child.”

“Well,” Wrykas said, turning to Ethan and putting his hand on his old friend shoulders. “It’s the middle of the night. There’s no reason for your gang to move out now. You can get a fresh start in the morning.” He turned back to you. “We can, too.”

You sighed. “Well, I guess one full day of freedom is better than nothing.” You fluffed out your bed, preparing to get in it. “Ethan will show you where the men sleep. Be civil while you’re in there.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him, lass, no worries,” Ethan said, and you nodded. Ethan led the lads out behind Wrykas, though they were all still glaring at him tersely.

The rest of the night followed without incident, beyond Ruik climbing onto the foot of your bed, still wearing the dressing gown, and falling asleep at your feet like a puppy

The next morning, just after breakfast, the boys got their gear packed and ready to go. You’d miss them, like always, but they had other jobs to do and families to look after. They couldn’t be your boys all the time. They were other people’s boys, too.

As they were getting ready to head out, you leaned in close to Ethan and whisper, “Is this guy alright?” You jerked your head back at Wrykas. “Tell me the truth.”

“He’s a decent sort,” Ethan whispered back. “At least, he was in the army.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Fifteen years? Something like that. Before I left to become a sell sword.”

You fixed him with a wry expression. “Fifteen years is plenty of time for a person to change.”

Ethan wasn’t paying attention. He was looking down at you with a fond expression. “You were the first job I took, you know?”

You cocked your head and smiled. “Really? I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah,” He said. “I didn’t know you were a child, though. They just told me to take the neighboring kingdom’s princess and hold her in a secure location. When I realized you were a child, I almost quit.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He shrugged a little and looked sheepish. “I’m ashamed to say I needed the money. I’d just had my first girl and we needed food.”

“And look at us now,” You said, smiling. “Best friends twice a year.”

He laughed. “Yeah. Life is weird.”

“So see you next spring, then?” You asked.

“If they don’t send us, we’ll come on our own, just so’s I can win back that sack of gold you took off me last night.”

You grinned. “Good luck with that. Kiss your girls for me,” You told him.

He pulled you into a bear hug. “I will,” he replied with a smile. “You look after yourself back at that prison. Don’t let your wardens get you down.”

You smiled back and nodded, pulling your cloak tighter around you against the late autumn chill. You then moved on to the others to give them hugs and kisses on the cheek. Wrykas sat on the woodcutting stump, watching all this happen.

The gang was off then, waving back at you as they left, and you watched them disappear around the bend and out of sight. Sighing sadly, you turned to your new companion, eyeing him with some skepticism.

“Hands to yourself,” You said. He put up his hands and raised his eyebrows in acquiescence. You then went back into the chalet to pack.

He stood with a shoulder braced on the doorframe, watching you, and folded his arms. “You say you expected to be here for several days?”

“Yep,” You said with a sigh. “I usually have a few days, either with the boys or by myself.” You stopped for a moment and reminisced. “There was one year where I had three whole weeks. Gods. Those were the best weeks of my life.”

“Why do you call them boys?” He asked curiously. “The youngest of them has to be at least five years your senior.”

“Because…” You shrugged. “They’re… my boys. My friends. What else would I call them?”

“They do kidnap you.”

“It’s not kidnapping if I want to go. It’s more like a rescue.”

He was silent for a moment, then walked over and took the dress you were packing from your hands.

“Do you really hate it there so much?” He asked.

“Yes,” You replied venomously.

“Why? You’re a princess. You live in a castle. You have servants waiting on you hand and foot. What’s so bad about that?”

You sighed again and turned to sit on the bed. “What was your life like, growing up?”

He seemed surprised by the questions and sat down next to you, his eyes distant.

“I grew up on a farm. It was backbreaking work and we barely raised enough to keep ourselves fed, let alone sell anything. Five minotaur boys is a lot of mouths to feed.”

“You have four brothers?” You asked him.

“Yeah,” He said. “They’re all still on the farm with my parents, but I couldn’t stand farm work. I wanted more. More money, more freedom, more acclaim, just… more, you know? More than the life of a farmer.”

“But you’re family? What were they like? Did they love you?”

His brow furrowed. “Of course they loved me, they were my family.”

“You’ve never wondered? You’ve never had reason to think they didn’t love you?” You pressed.

“No, never.” He squinted at you. “Is that how it is for you?”

You took a deep breath and released it slowly. “My parents’ marriage was arranged. More to the point, they really disliked each other and didn’t want to marry, but the political climate was tense and their marriage was the only thing preventing a war. Their dislike of each other turned to absolute hatred pretty quickly. The only reason I even exist is because they were expected to create an heir, and I couldn’t even manage to be born a boy.” You stared out the window at the fast moving clouds. “A disappointment from the beginning.”

“Gods,” He said softly, and you looked over and saw he was staring at you with a gentle expression, which did a weird thing to your stomach. “I can’t imagine a parent hating their own child.”

“Oh, my father is indifferent to the point of failing to acknowledge my existence most of the time. I don’t think he cares enough to actually hate me. That’s all my mother. When I was young, she used to have cute ‘pet names’ for me and offer ‘helpful suggestions’ that I know now were outright insults.”

“What sort of things would she say?” He asked.

“That I was her fat little piggy, that I’d eat my weight if she didn’t watch me, that if I stood straighter, I would look less like a gargoyle stalking it’s prey, that if I wore my hair up, people wouldn’t notice how mousy and stringy it was, that if I wore rouge and lip color, I’d look less like a rotting corpse. Things like that.”

“What a vile woman,” He said, scowling. “She seemed unpleasant when I met with her, but I didn’t realize how truly awful she was.”

“She’s not exactly secretive about it. The castle staff hates her. I’d know; I spend more time with them that I do with my parents, which is another point of contention.” You stretched and stood. “But, I guess there’s nothing for it. They’re waiting. I might as well get this over with.” You reached for the dress he was holding, but he didn’t let go.

“Actually, that’s what I was coming to talk to you about,” He said, pointing out the open door. He stood and beckoned you to follow him, and you did so. The fast moving clouds you’d seen out the window were growing dark.

“A storm?” You asked him.

“Not just a storm,” He replied, narrowing his eyes and flaring his nostrils. “Do you smell it?”

“Smell?”

“The change in the air. There’s a cold front coming. I’d bet anything the temperature is going to keep dropping. We’ll likely be up to our knees in snow by midnight.”

“Oh,” You said. “So… what do we do?”

“Wait it out,” He replied, looking down at you with a sly smile. “Looks like your vacation just got extended.”

You actually gave him a real smile then, trying hard not to bounce on your heels in excitement.

“Your firewood is low. I should cut some more before the snow starts,” He said.

“Alright,” You told him. “How much is in the men’s quarters?”

“Not sure,” He admitted. “Would you mind checking?”

“Alright,” You said, turning.

The chalet was split into two rooms that were not connected; in order to get from room to room, you had to go outside from one door and go inside through another. You’d never actually been in the men’s quarters before. There had never really been a reason to before now. When you went in, you were actually a little shocked at the sight of it.

It was as large as your own room, but that’s where the comparisons ended. Where your room was bright and decorated and had food and comforts aplenty, this room was completely bare. The floor was cold stone, there was a dark hearth at the end of the room and a stack of furs and threadbare blankets neatly folded in the corner. There were some shelves with jars of preserves, and a container of salted meat. That was it.

Gods, you had no idea they were sleeping in these conditions. Why hadn’t they said anything? You’d have sprung for beds and good blankets. You made up your mind with a frown to return here in a few weeks and leave some surprises for their next stay.

Next to the hearth, you saw a small pile of firewood, enough only for a few hours. Clutching your cloak, you ducked back outside. And stopped short.

Wrykas had removed his sleeveless tunic and was chopping wood shirtless. You could see the muscles in his back move against his skin as he raised the axe and brought it down to split the logs.

No.. no, no… Not good…

“There’s not much in there,” You called to him, smacking yourself mentally to pull yourself out of his obliques.

“I’ll cut up some extra, then,” He said, casually, bending to pick up another log and put it up on the stump, his arm flexing as it moved.

It was time to go do something that… was not slobbering over your would-be rescuer, so you decide to start on lunch.

Wrykas had been right. No sooner had he finished the wood that snow began to fall, softly at first, but getting heavier by the minute. He made quick work of stacking the wood next to your hearth and was surprised when you handed him a steaming bowl of soup.

“Thanks,” He said. “I wouldn’t have guessed you knew how to cook.”

“Cause I’m a princess?” You asked wryly. “I told you, I spend more time with the servants and kitchen staff than I do at galas or grand balls. If I had a proper kitchen, I could cook literally anything.”

“Full of surprises,” He said, winking at you. He was still shirtless. You keep your eyes on your soup and tried to keep from staring.

Night fell, and with it the came the storm Wrykas had warned you about.

“I should go start the fire in the men’s quarters,” Wrykas said.

“Actually,” You said, reaching out to stop him. “Why don’t you sleep in here tonight? Even with the fire, it’s bound to be terribly cold in there, and even with your tolerance, you’ll be freezing.”

He laughed. “I appreciate your concern, Lady, but I’ve slept in worse conditions.”

“Please,” you said, keeping your grip on his arm. “I insist.”

“You’re sure?” He asked, and you nodded. He looked startled, but replied, “Alright. If you wish.”

“Would you mind turning so I can change for the evening?” You asked him.

“Not at all,” He said, turning to face the wall.

You took off your restricting skirted bodice with a relieved sigh. You mother insisted you wear them to “maintain a semblance of a figure despite your unfortunate size,” so they were the only outerwear you had. You’d go around in your shift all day if it didn’t make the boys blush. They were more of a family to you than your own family, so you didn’t want to make them uncomfortable unnecessarily.

Wrykas, however…

You decided not to put on a nightdress or a dressing gown, and stayed in the sheer shift you wore under your outer clothes. You also took your hair out of it’s brain and let it hang freely around your shoulders. You felt a little self-conscious about your body and weight, but you didn’t care. You wanted to be comfortable.

“I’m finished,” You said. He turned and opened his mouth to say something, but when he saw you, no sound came out of his mouth. He just stood there, staring, and not saying anything.

You suppressed an urge to cover yourself. “Everything alright?” You asked him.

He jumped as if someone had smacked his mouth, and closed it. “Yes, sorry. I was… um… caught off guard.”

You snorted. “By what?”

He cleared his throat. “You… uh… you look nice.”

You blinked a few times. “I just took my hair down and I’m wearing less clothing. I didn’t do anything to look nice.”

“You still look nice,” He said, scratching his neck and looking at the ground.

“Well… would you like to play a card game?” You asked him.

“Actually, I’m a bit tired. I spent most of yesterday traveling here and I didn’t sleep well. I was thinking of turning in early, if that’s okay with you.”

“Oh, sure, yes, of course,” You replied, going to your bed and pulling back the coverlet. When you turned back, you saw him laying out a fur on the ground.

“What are you doing?” You asked him.

He looked at you, then the fur, and then back at you in confusion. “Laying out my bed?”

“Don’t be silly,” I said, patting the bed. “The bed is big enough for four people. There’s no reason for you to sleep on the floor. Come on.”

He visibly gulped. “Are you--”

“Get up here!” I said.

He smirked at me. “So demanding, princess. I wonder if anyone’s ever told you ‘no’ before.”

“Are you going to be the first?” You asked him, a hand on your hip.

He snorted and picked up the fur, laying it over the back of a chair. He put a few more logs in the hearth and extinguished the lanterns before coming to the bed. You scooched over to accommodate him. Gods, he was warm.

At first, you maintained a respectable distance apart, but as the night got colder, you found yourself moving closer and closer to Wrykas. If he felt you moving, he gave no sign.

The smell of him, his warmth, the memory of his muscles as he swung the axe, flooded your senses, and you could feel the rising tension in your body.

“Are you awake?” You asked softly.

“It is rather hard to sleep with a beautiful woman lying so close to me,” He said quietly.

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “You don’t have to make jokes.”

He turned over and braced himself on his elbow, looking down at you with a frown. Did he have to be shirtless all the time? “What are you talking about?”

You didn’t answer. You tried to roll over, but he stopped you.

“Do you think I was joking when I said you were beautiful?” He asked.

“Weren’t you?”

“No,” He said seriously. You couldn’t help but notice that his hand was creeping up your arm.

“I’m plain and unappealing,” You told him.

“Bullshit,” He said. “You have the loveliest eyes of anyone I’ve ever seen. You hair looks like silk in the firelight. Your skin is so soft, it’s like you bath in lotion. I’ve never felt skin so soft.”

“I… I’m fat,” You said, your voice wavering.

“So what? There’s nothing wrong with your size. What about that makes you less attractive?”

“Ask my mother, she’ll tell you all about it,” You said sourly.

“Your mother is a angry shrew who hates everything; what does her opinion matter? I think you’re gorgeous.”

You looked up at his sweet brown eyes, looking down at you with no deception or guile, and your heart thumped harder.

“You mean it?” You asked him in a hushed whisper. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Yes,” He said simply.

You didn’t even think about it. You lifted your head and kissed him. He kissed you back enthusiastically. He wasted no time in touching you; your stomach, your hips, your breasts. He slowly drew the underdress up and over your head, leaving you nude in the bed. He pulled the covers down so that he could look at your body.

He got up and pulled off his trousers, his member already fully erect. It was black and speckled, like his shoulders. If it weren’t for the size of it, you’d have called it cute.

He got back into the bed and knelt between your knees, his cock bobbing and pulsing as he soaked in the sight of you. You were doing the same to him, greatly admiring his hard, well-defined, multi-colored body.

He put his hands under your knees and pulled them up and apart, staring hungrily at what lay between. He lay kisses up your thighs, alternating with each one, until he reached that place that ached with want.

His tongue came out and pressed itself to your slit, and it was still. It didn’t move. You moaned in both pleasure and anticipation, but he pulled away.

“Hey!”

He crawled up your body and smirked at you. “No one has ever told you what to do, have they?”

“Besides my mother? No. But I don’t listen to her.”

“Would you listen to me?” He asked.

“What do you have in mind?” You replied curiously.

His smirk widened and he lay on his back with his hands behind his head. “Why don’t you take care of me the first?”

You got up and took his length in you hand. His body jerked at the first touch and he grunted, but he relaxed as you pumped him slowly. You bent your head and licked the flat head, and he grunted again.

He was as apparently as impatient as you were. He put his hand in your hair and gently pushed your head down, and you sucked him into your mouth. He was too big to take him all in, so you used both hands to massage the rest. He kept his hand on your head and applied gentle pressure on it as you sucked. He groaned and grunted, making you wetter.

He pulled your hair up a little to signal you to stop. He then pounced on you, flipping you on your stomach and laying you flat against the bed. He kissed down your back and ran his hands over your bottom, spreading your legs as wide open as he could with you in this position. He stuck one of his large fingers inside you, and you gasped.

“Mmm,” He purred. “You’re just right.”

“I can’t wait, please,” You begged. “Please, Wrykas.”

“A princess begging?” He said, and you heard a smile in his voice. “I think I like that. Do it again.”

“Please, Wrykas, please, please,” You said, over and over. You felt him nudge your entrance, and your begging increase in pitch and frequency. He pushed himself inside slowly, and you cried out, gripping the sheets.

“Say thank you,” He purred into your ear as he began to move inside you.

“Thank you, Wrykas,” You breathed.

“Louder,” He said.

“Thank you, Wrykas!”

He began to move faster, putting his hands over yours and gripping them as he did. He lay his head next to yours so you could hear his heavy breathing and moans. Gods, it was hot.

You cried out loudly, and the put one of his hands over your mouth, muffling you. You were right next to his large ears, and your shrill cried of pleasure were likely painful.

He sped up, and your screams of pleasure increased. You could feel yourself riding up to that peak, feeling your body tense as the wall of ecstasy, crying out against his hand.

His grunts got faster more intense, and you could feel from his pulsating inside you that he was close too. Your legs began to tremble as the wave crashed over you. He kept up the pace as your pleasure ebbed, then abruptly pulled out and released all over your bottom and back, snorting and grunting and bellowing.

He collapsed forward, braced on his hands so he didn’t fall in to the mess he’d made, and huffed to get his breath back. You felt the warmth drift across your back every time he exhaled, and it made your spine tingle.

“You alright?” You asked him breathlessly.

He laughed and kissed your shoulder. “I’m lovely.” You felt him raise up and slide off the bed. “Wait there, I’ll get you cleaned up.”

You opened on eye and watched him walk naked to the pot of washing water that you kept close to the fire so that it would stay warm and dunked a rag into it. He rung it out and brought it back, and you admired the view as he did with a side smile.

Once he’d cleaned you, and wiped himself off as well, he got back into the bed and pulled you against him. He kissed your face until you fell asleep.

You passed the next few days of the storm in bed, blissfully wrapped up in the best lovemaking of your life. He took control, and to your surprise, you loved it. You loved being told what to do during sex. You loved following his commands. It was thrilling.

Eventually, the storm began to die down, and your spirits started to dampen.

Wrykas noticed. “What’s the matter?”

“When the storm blows over, I have to go back,” You said sadly, laying your head back against his chest.

He put his arms around you and lay his cheek on the top of your head.

“Have you ever considered running away?” He asked you.

“Run away?” You asked in return, swiveling to look at him in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Leave. Go somewhere else. Another kingdom. My parent’s farm is in Farrowville, you could go there. They’d take care of you.”

You looked at him in shock. “You want me to live with you?”

“Not with me, I don’t live there,” He said. “I actually don’t have any sort of permanent residence, but I visit them often between jobs. They’re very loving people. They’d take good care of you.”

“You’re serious,” You said. “You’re really talking about running.”

“Why not?” He asked. “It’s clear your parents don’t value you. Hell, it shouldn’t be so easy to steal you away twice a year. They haven’t strengthened their guards or made arrangements for your protection. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear they were behind your abductions, maybe even made some kind of deal with the opposite kingdom disguised as a political dispute, just to get you out of their sight for a while.”

Your head rocked back at the thought. It had never occurred to you before, but now that he had said it out loud, it made perfect sense. Wow. They really did hate you, didn’t they?

“You’re sure your family won’t mind taking me in?” You asked, suddenly nervous about the prospect of a whole new life.

“Not at all. They really are wonderful people.” He sighed with a smile on his face. “I love my family, just not the way they live. I just wasn’t born to be a farmer.”

You smiled at his smile, as gentle as it was.

“The house is rather small, and they will expect you to earn your keep, but their not harsh or cruel. I’m sure they’ll love you.”

“I’m not worried about the work…” You said slowly, looking around the chalet. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes,” He said, taking your hand. “You’ll be with kind people who will care for you, and I’ll see you all the time.”

“Is that something you want?” You asked him playfully.

He smirked wryly and kissed you hard. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?”

You bit your lip. “Yes, I will.”

“That’s my princess. Say yes.”

You smiled and pressed your face into his shoulder. “Yes.”

Three months passed with Wrykas’s family, and it was the happiest you’d ever been. Wrykas’s parents were just as kind and loving as he told you they’d be, and his brothers were proper country gentlemen, always asking if you needed help or if there was anything they could do for you.

Wrykas visited at least once a week, usually bring back coin or furs or other spoils from his work. Sometime back, he had gone to inform Ethan and his gang what had happened, so every so often he came back with gifts and trinkets from your boys. You missed them, but you were finally happy.

Then, Wrykas showed up at the farm with Ethan and the gang in tow. you were immediately alarmed.

“What’s going on?” You asked, dropping the hoe you were using. “What’s happened?”

“Your parents have been deposed,” Wrykas said. “They’ve been sent into exile. Most of the people in your kingdom believe you dead, so there was an uprising. They felt that since the crown couldn’t protect you, how could they possibly protect the people.”

“That’s great news!” You exclaimed, but Ethan stopped you.

“There’s also bad news. With your parents gone, there’s a power vacuum that other members of your extended family are trying to fill. You’re the heir. If you went back, you could take the throne. Your right to it is beyond contest.”

“That’s true,” You said, rubbing your chin. “I could finally end these petty laws my parents put into place and get the country back on track.” You slapped Ethan on the arm. “You and your gang still want to be my Queen’s guard?”

Ethan blinked at you. “You were serious about that?”

“Hell yes, I was serious. You and the boys and your families will all move into the castle and replace all the up-tight, snooty ladies-in-waiting my mother appointed for me. You in?”

Ethan looked to the lads, who all grinned excitedly. “We’re in, lass. We’re with you all the way.”

You looked up at Wrykas, kissed him, and smirked. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” He asked quizzically.

“Remember when we first met and you said you wanted more from life?”

He smiled, still a little confused. “Yeah.”

“How does ‘prince’ sound to you?” You asked with a big smile.

His face split into a wide grin. “Sounds like something I was born to do.”

“Good,” You said, putting your arms around his neck. “Then let’s get to our coronation.”

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[rabbitbatthing]

If the character thing is still open, tell us more about team bad end! i was always curious about what exactly goes wrong with icarus&skye :O

👀👀 technically speaking “bad end” covers all the pmd games (though mostly the first 2, still gotta figure out how i want to interpret Super’s story), but Hell Yeah I’m more than willing to share stuff about Sky and Icarus

THAT BEING SAID, with these two it’s less a single thing going wrong and just, a long string of things that progressively get worse:

Icarus (the partner)’s motivations for starting a rescue team aren’t exactly altruistic. He didn’t plan on getting attached and figured it’d just be a quick gig he could do before flying under the radar and leaving for somewhere else, but then he ended up liking the rescue team gig and decided to stick with it. He gets invested in this little rag-tag team.

And when he gets invested, that’s when the stuff with Gengar really starts screwing the both of them over and he starts feeling guilty about taking advantage of Sky’s amnesia situation/dragging her into the rescue team thing and getting her involved.

Meanwhile, Sky does start out a bit susp™ of Icarus because who just recruits amnesiacs, but through lack of any other options she decides to follow along and help him with the rescue team thing. Like previously stated, things don’t start noticeably going south until Gengar becomes a factor.

She’s appalled by what he’s willing to do just to make a quick buck (who the hell blackmails children?!) and does her best to make her team better out of spite towards him. You know, after beating his team and leaving him with some choice words

Things are tense but mostly fine until after Zapdos is fought and Shiftry is rescued. Sky/Icarus end up going to the Great Canyon and learn that the world’s imbalance is linked to a human becoming a pokemon (as Gengar eavesdrops), they hear the Ninetales legend, and then shit hits the fan in 24 hours or less because Gengar turns an entire town against Sky. And she can’t defend herself because she doesn’t remember. Not that it would probably matter, when the world is literally falling apart and everyone’s paranoia is at an all time high, she likely wouldn’t have been able to make a case for herself anyway.

(Icarus just feels more guilty because, again, if he didn’t ask her to start a team with him in the first place, she might not have even been found out.)

The game’s plot goes as usual, the duo goes through Lapis Cave, then Mt. Blaze and Frosty Forest, and neither of them are really handling the fugitives thing well. Sky’s conflicted, she doesn’t want to think that she could be the cause of all this, but since she doesn’t remember what she was like before becoming a pokemon she just doesn’t know what to think anymore. Gardevoir not sharing/being able to share anything doesn’t help with her growing anxiety. She considers turning back multiple times, because if it’s true then she’s just running away from the consequences of her actions again.

Icarus pushes her to keep going, because he doesn’t think she’s the human in the legend and because, even if she was, she hadn’t done anything wrong now. That, and if he were to just throw her under the bus after having gotten her involved in all of this from the get go he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

Of course, they end up learning that Sky wasn’t the human in the legend, and once it registers that all of this was just an elaborate ploy by Gengar, Sky is pissed. She’s also lowkey angry with most of Pokemon Square for what they did (though she can at least understand why), and generally after all of this she keeps her distance. Save for a few others the only one she really feels she can trust is her partner, Icarus.

Despite her anger, though, she still isn’t giving up on leading the rescue team. If anything she feels even more compelled to continue with it, because even though everyone apparently believes her, she still thinks that some of them have doubts. And as Gengar has shown, it only takes a little bit of doubt to manipulate so many people, so she’d rather not take her chances.

She gets into a habit of overworking herself, and while doing so she tries to hide her own insecurities and issues so that no one worries- or suspects and looks down on her. Even when her team helps with stopping Groudon and saving Team ACT and Blastoise/Octillery/Golem, she doesn’t really feel secure with most of the other pokemon at the square- and immediately being told that she has to somehow convince yet another legendary to listen to her, with the added bonus of the world being at risk? That’s just more pressure.

And all this leads to the final dungeon, Sky Tower. She’s stressed, she’s afraid, she’s tired(Gengar had already started messing with her sleep before getting interrupted by Gardevoir, though even then she wasn’t getting a lot of sleep that night to begin with), and she’s in far from the best state of mind to be trying to do this, but they don’t have time to wait or consider other options, because meteors don’t wait.

The dungeon itself? Hell, 34 floors of pure hell, Icarus is doing slightly better in the long run, but as a whole they really aren’t equipped to try to negotiate with- or potentially fight- the legendary at the very top. They get there and try to explain to Rayquaza what’s happening but, of course, it doesn’t listen, and they have to fight. Sky fares much worse than Icarus, but they manage to hold Rayquaza off until it has no choice but to notice the flaming ball of doom falling towards the planet.

At this point it pretty much goes the same way as it does in the game, Rayquaza destroys the meteor, and Sky and Icarus are caught in the aftermath due to being so close. Icarus somehow manages to make it back to the Hill of the Ancients, but Sky… is nowhere to be found.

[lily-blue]

CODE Z3RO | CODE 10

characters: BTS & Red Velvet genre: thriller, futuristic au warning: death summary: The twelve most ambitious and promising university students are welcomed in Choego, the world’s first entirely artificial intelligence-driven city, to compete for five job contracts that could change their life. But what if something goes wrong? What if they get trapped? What if the city suddenly turns against them? Can they find a way out before the countdown reaches zero? words: 4,5K tagged: @philosopher-of-fandoms​

➼ Chapter Index

Walking in utter silence would have been eerie but the echo of their monoton steps were even more frightening. It dressed the med student’s arms in goosebumps regardless of the growing heat and her boyfriend’s obvious closeness. Ever since the group of decreased number of members had left the red room, ending up in another stinking tunel with massive, brick walls, concrete underneath their feet and flickering light above their heads, Namjoon stayed beside Wendy, his heart and mind seeking peace in her presence. It didn’t even occur to him that his always empathic girlfriend might have had second thoughts on this whole teamwork thing, that she was wary ever since Joohyun had been gone, that whatever she felt towards Taehyung who limped in front of Yerim and Jungkook, it was more intense, more spiteful than simple dislike. She hated him hence his mere existence pulled its toll on her mood.

She felt conflicted because a part of her - that was always looking for the good in people - had failed to take this much hatred in from one minute to another. In one moment, she found herself staring at the boy with suspicion in her eyes, waiting for him to make a mistake. A few seconds later, her brain immediately started to come up with some excuses as it tried to convince her that Joohyun had slipped because of her diabetes which was utterly ridiculous. Medically speaking, she had been healthy enough to walk this much in the dark without much trouble. Although, considering that the girl had tended to have mild panic attacks, maybe the darkness had indeed had an extremely negative effect on her body. She could have fallen because her limbs had been trembling or simply due to phantom anoxia. Yet, as she thought it through over and over again, the med student couldn’t help but look for flaws in Taehyung’s story.

Not that she could have accused him with murder in front of everyone. That would have been outright stupid on her part because she couldn’t be sure that any of them except for Namjoon would have agreed with her about the grumpy boy being the bad guy. Sure, he was extremely annoying and mostly a real pain in the ass but a murderer? That felt a bit too extreme to voice out loud even under the absurd circumstances they needed to bear with. People were freaking dying around them without any further assistance so why would have anyone taken a mental burden that heavy on purpose by killing one of their teammates? Shifting her gaze from the Marketing major to her remained allies, Wendy honestly doubted that any of them would have signed a contract willingly after this even if the company had offered them one in the first place. After all, it would have been truly careless of the researchers to open the gate of Choego for the public after everything that had happened with them during the last few hours. They wouldn’t have done such thing, right?

‘Is everything alright?’ her boyfriend’s worried question only registered in her mind after his second attempt when his words were followed by a light squeeze on her fingers. She hadn’t even noticed that Namjoon had been holding her hand until the tender pressure that he had applied on her skin.

For the first time since she had first met the boy - and that spring afternoon had already been history -, Wendy didn’t have a good enough answer so she just stared at him, eyes that were soaked in confusion boring deep into those warm, chocolate-like orbs. A rational part of her, that knew from first-hand experience that secrets had never done anything good, wanted to tell him everything. That she felt uneasy, that she wanted to be as far from the lilac haired guy as it was humanly possible because his self-obsessed attitude freaked her out and that she had this eerie feeling in her chest that somehow, in some way, Taehyung had had something to do with Joohyun’s accident. The clumsy confession was actually on the tip of her tongue, her throat feeling itchy due to the dissolving lump, when the boy let out a resigned sigh and shot an apologetic smile at her, squeezing her hand once again.

‘It was a stupid question. Sorry,’ he mumbled quietly and a tad bit ashamed as if he had been afraid that he might have made Wendy upset with his inconsiderate question. But he hadn’t. It was rather this whole day that had been long and tiring already without an end to be seen.

To ease her boyfriend’s worries, the med student leaned her head against the boy’s upper arm and grazed her nose along his bare skin underneath the short sleeve of his shirt. The couple kept walking towards the gate hand in hand, steps still a little uncertain as they tried to find comfort in each other’s presence. On one hand, the girl was grateful that she wasn’t alone in this living hell even if the situation wasn’t easier on them just because they were together. On the other hand, she wished she shouldn’t have had to worry about one more person, thinking of Seokjin who had bleeded out in front of his sister’s eyes. What good their bond had done to Yerim? It’d just left the poor soul more broken.

The Sun was blinding when Yoongi climbed up on the metal ladder and opened the trapdoor at the end of the tunnel but it was definitely nice to finally feel the warmth of its rays after all that wandering in the dark. As soon as her feet touched the ground above, Wendy took a look around, not quite believing that a park that beautiful and calming could really exist at a place like the monstrous city that threatened their lives. From the marble fountain on her right to the realistic, green grass, everything seemed astonishing as if it had been a piece of paradise. Only the melodic chirp of birds were missing. The unnatural silence sent an unpleasant shiver down Wendy’s spine.

Therefore the med student was actually relieved when she noticed the unmistaken sound of Namjoon’s growling stomach. It helped her focus on something other than the ethereal beauty of their teammates’ graveyard. Putting her hand atop the boy’s shoulder, she forced a smile onto her lips then turned towards Seulgi who was standing on the IT guy’s right. Like a child seeking protection, she hadn’t left Yoongi’s side ever since he had spoken up in her defence when Taehyung had been about to question her motives.

‘Are you one hundred percent sure, that we’re safe now?’ Wendy asked, gaining everyone’s attention with her straightforward question. Hah. It seemed that the accuracy of the voiceless girl’s knowledge might have been something that deep down each one of them was curious about after all.

However, old habits die hard as people said hence the desired answer remained unspoken when Seulgi bit into her lower lip, slowly, tentatively shifting her gaze from her dirty shoes to the boy whose icy gaze somehow seemed warmer than the cold and bleak world around them. When Yoongi nodded, his slim eyebrows sliding upwards in an encouraging manner, the girl took a deep breath and mimicked the movement of they boy’s head with a firm hum. 

‘Yes. Until four, the 22th district is one of the safest places in the city,’ she said after a quick calculation, sticking strictly to the bare minimum regarding the shared information. It made the whole decision making process a matter of faith kind of twisted game but lack of any scientific or a simple but well-detailed explanation, Wendy chose to trust in her own medical knowledge. As far as it seemed, Seulgi had photographic memory which meant that she could have indeed remembered the map that she had seen beforehand. Considering that she was also an architecture major, the possibility that she was right about the district was relatively high. It made her their best chance to survive. If only they had paid attention to the signs a bit more. They could have realized that she had been more than a liability and then maybe a few of the dead would have been still alive. It was wishful thinking, she knew, but it still made the med student regret that she had been so careless.

‘Okay, it means that we have a few hours here before the main computer shuts down the electricity, right?’ Wendy asked, keeping her eyes on the IT guy while she was waiting for his confirmation. Out of all people, he seemed to understand the system that kept them inside the most. It made his words just as important as the girl’s who was anxiously nibbling on her lip with her fists in tiny, slightly trembling balls by her sides. When Yoongi nodded, Wendy let out a relieved sigh and clapped her hands. ‘Then we need to find something to eat,’ she stated before she rubbed her palms together.

Although her eagerness was soon interrupted by a mocking snort, coming from behind her boyfriend’s back. The irritating sound of Taehyung’s painfully slow clapping dressed her skin in goosebumps. She didn’t like the shit-eating grin on his face.

‘Fantastic idea! Why not throw a picnic in the middle of this lovely park, waiting for death to take us all?’ the Marketing major spoke up even though his malicious words didn’t have that much of an effect on the crowd this time as his stomach chose the worst moment possible to demand some food. The med student swallowed back a nasty laughter that was scratching her throat to find its way to the surface. This guy was truly ridiculous.

Namjoon put his palm on the girl’s shoulder and drew a few undecipherable patterns onto the soft skin in the crook of her neck, trying to calm her nerves down before she could have said something that she would have regretted right away. Like that time back in September when they had visited the boy’s parents for the holidays and she had made an impulsive comment on his mother’s fashion sense. She hadn’t been able to stop apologizing during dinner. It was a strange thing to see her that insecure and uncomposed again.

Taking a deep breath, the girl turned towards the others and tried her best to shut Taehyung’s unsatisfied mumbling out.

‘What’s your opinion on a lunch? I won’t force my idea on you but honestly, at this point, we can never know when will be the next time we need energy to run out of a building that tries to kill us all,’ she scratched her nape, an awkward giggle escaping her mouth. Her reasoning sounded so shameful and partly manipulative even though she was telling the truth. Even if they couldn’t think about eating after all those horrible things that had happened, medically speaking, their bodies needed some food to keep up with the energy loss that the constant fear, that they lived in, produced. Hence a lunch would have been in their favour, too.

‘I could eat,’ a small voice came from her left. It was Yerim whose willingness automatically forced Jungkook to agree with the idea, too. Though, his clumsy nod looked pretty uncertain as if he couldn’t have believed what he was doing.

Wendy waited patiently, her fingers tapping a familiar melody on Namjoon’s arm when after a few exchanged glances and reassuring words, both Yoongi and Seulgi gave in, joining the bigger part of their embattled team. 

‘Any idea where to start looking for food? Are there any convenience stores nearby?’ she asked Seulgi, hoping that the researchers might have marked a few facilities on any of their maps that the Architecture major could have taken a glance at. It was hopelessly naive of her to think so highly of that certain piece of paper considering how little information they had received on their first day but hope was the only thing they had. And she didn’t intend to give up so easily.

‘There is a restaurant two corners from here,’ the answer slipped through Seulgi’s lips sooner than it had done last time although her voice was still fragile and whisper-like. She then lifted her arm and pointed at the direction that was opposite of the fountain’s and brushed a mop of hair behind her ear with her other hand when it fell back to her side. She didn’t say a word about those hungry architects who had talked about the fine taste of grilled samgyeopsal in the 22th district when she had taken the elevator to the meeting room on their first day, nor that they had been the ones who had created the structure of the building with the unique, needle-shaped roof that was visible from the spot where they stood.

‘Good,’ Yoongi said with a small nod, satisfied that they didn’t need to take an enormous detour. That would have been inconvenient and annoying considering that they had five hours left to get out of this killing machine. Having a lunch seemed so insignificant beside survival. ‘Then hurry up and eat something first but after that, we need to find the main computer,’ he stated, reminding each one of his teammates of their goal. Not that he would have assumed that they had suddenly forgotten what was at risk. He was sure that neither of them would have been able to erase their fallen mates’ faces from their heads.

When everyone gave him some signs of understanding, he turned towards Seulgi to ask one more extremely important question. He needed to know whether she had a guess about that, too or they would need more time to look for the building that hid the computer somewhere in this asylum.

‘Do you know where it is?’ Once the words fell off his lips, Yoongi and a few other around them, for example Jungkook, held back their breaths, the killing anticipation dancing on their nerves.

The sudden attention made the girl’s throat go dry but she mustered up her courage and held her chin up, looking straight into the IT guy’s cold eyes that now were glinting with curiosity and maybe with a pinch of hope. Unfortunately, the girl couldn’t give him the answer that he had wanted to hear.

‘If you’re right and it’s located in the last district then I know where to start searching,’ she admitted but she couldn’t have been one hundred percent sure because her instructions would have been based on the guy’s believes and not on certain facts. She knew how many districts Choego had. She also knew where they had built up the last. But if the main computer hadn’t been in the mentioned area’s main building then she was out of options. Even her knowledge had its limits.

Taehyung must have noticed the uncertainty in her voice because hearing upon her answer, he let out a snort-like chuckle that was heavy with malice. 

‘Are you all idiots? You really want to enter another useless building just to eat when people can survive for weeks without food? The main computer should be our top priority!’ he said angrily, literally shouting at everyone yet no one in particular. His burning gaze slid from one person to another, desperately searching for someone who could have taken his side but with Joohyun being gone, he had nobody. It made the corner of his mouth twitch in annoyance.

Wendy shook her head, disappointed but not at all surprised. Honestly, it was obvious that their mental well-being for example didn’t even occur to him when he complained about the change in their plans. He didn’t dwell on Yerim’s unhealthy coping mechanism and that huge amount of grief she had needed to be pushed aside to not become a dead weight. But anyone who paid attention could have noticed the compulsive twitches of her fingers and the uneasy drumming of her feet whenever she stopped walking. She was on the verge of another massive mental breakdown and Taehyung didn’t give a damn about her state. 

‘We need a little time to take a breath, you asshole. But if you’re so clever then go and find the main computer on your own. As I said, I won’t force my idea on anyone including you,’ she said aggressively, spitting the words through her gritted teeth. She had enough. She truly couldn’t and didn’t intend to tolerate the Marketing major’s comments an ephemeral moment longer. Damn it. How could someone be such a jerk all the time, rubbing her on the wrong side so frequently as if it had been his newest hobby?

‘So much about teamwork,’ he retorted and rolled his eyes, earning a few deadly glances with his hypocritical attitude. If Namjoon hadn’t held his fuming girlfriend back, taking her balled up fist in his hand, Wendy would have punched Taehyung in the face without doubt or shame. Even though she preferred to think of herself as someone who gave a helping hand to anyone regardless of their gender, age, race or financial background, for the first time in her life, she wanted to take the phrase “beat some sense into someone” quite literally.

When Namjoon pulled Wendy towards the rest of the group, they started walking in the said direction in silence, only the loud growls of their stomachs filling the air beside the tension. This time, there wasn’t a single soul who stayed behind on purpose, keeping Taehyung’s pace steady with lifting a bit of weight off his swollen ankle. With every minute, the distance between him and the rest of the team grew bigger.

The restaurant was built of coloured metal and tinted glass. It looked like an upside down blooming cherry tree even from up close but once they crossed its threshold, it was empty, bleak and artificial from the inside. On the left, there was a corridor with a changing room for the staff and four toilets, one for each gender, one for the employees and one for the disabled. The reception desk was on the right and across the entrance, the double door of the kitchen. The grey smoke exhausters that hung from the ceiling looked eerie without customers leaning over the sizzling meat in the middle of the tables. 

Lack of a better idea, the group of six headed to the kitchen and decided to make something easy but delicious from the basic ingredients that they found in the enormous fridge and those four useful wall cabinets that contained food. Under Namjoon’s guidance, they divided into three smaller groups, working on the chicken, the noodle and the vegetables separately. As the yummy smell of the boiling soup started to fill the air, their mood got better as well, even though the shadow of their dead teammates still followed them everywhere. But at least, they were talking and didn’t let the frustrating silence choke them anymore.

‘Look at you! I didn’t even know that you can cook,’ Wendy spoke up teasingly when her boyfriend seasoned the meal with salt and soy sauce. Most of the time, it was the girl who prepared the food in their household and when she was too tired to do so, they ordered pizza, jjajangmyeon or a box of fried chicken with beer. She wondered what else she didn’t know about the boy. Was he good at cleaning in secret as well? That would have been amazing. ‘Do we have to experience life or death situations for you to cook something delicious for me?’ she went on, brushing her shoulder against his upper arm playfully. ‘You should have told me in advance and then I might have jumped off a bridge or something so that…’

But she couldn’t finish the joke because it touched a sore spot and Namjoon cut her sentence off midway with an unsatisfied snort. He turned towards the girl with a stern look on his face and shook his head. It was a relatively slow movement but the disappointment that it held in itself was big. The whole kitchen fell silent because of it.

‘Could you stop it already? You’re not funny,’ he spoke up and it might have been easy to say something in return if he had shouted in her face. But Namjoon’s voice was calm and quiet, a little bit desperate maybe. He was overwhelmed, it was obvious by the way he looked at her, begging for her understanding with tear-like stars in his eyes. Of course. How could have she not thought about it earlier? He was just as worried about her as she was about him. Hence it was extremely rude and inconsiderate of her to talk about her own death so lightly. Even if she had meant it as a joke.

‘I…’

‘I need some air,’ Namjoon claimed as he ran his trembling fingers through his messy, peach locks and stormed out of the room. His sudden absence sucked the temporary good mood out of the air and left everyone with nothing but the suffocating awkwardness. No one dared to look at Wendy who cut the spring onions into small pieces in quiet before she added them to the soup.

When the knife slid out of her shaking hand and it collided with the kitchen counter, she took a deep breath and looked at the others. There were tears brimming in the corner of her eyes when she spoke up.

‘I’ll go and find him,’ she said and not waiting for any kind of response, she wiped her hands into a kitchen cloth and walked out of the door.

Since Namjoon had talked about fresh air, she assumed that he was on his way back to the park where they had gotten to the surface therefore she didn’t waste her time to look around in the restaurant properly but rather rushed towards the exit on the other side of the building. Eyes strictly kept on the rose tinted glass, the firm chest that bumped into her shoulder less than a metre from the door almost kicked her off her feet. She needed to hold onto the first stable thing that she could reach which happened to be the body that had invaded her personal space. 

‘Are you blind? Get out of my way!’ Taehyung, who came from the bathrooms’ direction, spat through gritted teeth as he grabbed the girl’s wrist and peeled Wendy’s hand off his tee with more force than it would have been necessary. His fingertips left ugly, red patches on the med student’s alabaster skin.

The boy didn’t intend to pay special attention to the tiny girl who barely reached his lips with the top of her head but when he turned his back on Wendy to walk into the kitchen instead of apologizing, his nonchalant attitude triggered something in the redhead. She looked down on her slightly bruised wrist and clenched her lips, unable to swallow down her spiteful words. Without her boyfriend constantly being there for her to calm her down, she couldn’t tolerate the insolent guy’s disrespectful and insensitive behaviour any further. The way he had pushed her away and had told her off was unacceptable.

‘Or what? Will you get rid of me too?’ so she asked, hoping that she would be able to force him out of his comfort zone. She wanted to see his true nature, the one that might have been able to betray the only person who had been foolish enough to trust him. She wanted to know whether she was right about him or rather delusional, her judgement being clouded by hatred and the endless fear that rested upon her chest. She needed answers to put her mind at ease before she would have gone crazy due to all those conspiracy theories that circulated in her mind. She needed to know whether Taehyung was a cold-blooded murderer or just a boy with an especially unbearable attitude.

As the boy’s steps came to a halt, his shoulders tensed up after he took a few ragged breaths. He could feel his fingers twitch in anticipation and he didn’t like the reaction that his body had performed. He knew that the slightest mistake could have given his crime away and then the redhead would have destroyed everything he had been fighting for with her eagerness to reveal the truth. She had been such a pain in the boy’s ass ever since they had left the tunnel behind. As if the fresh air had fucked up her mind.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about but I don’t like the suggesting tone of your voice, ginger head,’ Taehyung said with a raised eyebrow when he turned back towards the girl and made the distance between their bodies disappear. By the time the last word fell from his lips, he towered over Wendy, pushing the girl closer to the wall without laying a single finger on her strained body. It would have been a lie to say that he didn’t feel satisfaction rushing over his veins when he noticed the slight tremble of the med student’s long lashes when she looked up at him after a forced gulp. 

‘Do you really think, any of us believed that Joohyun fell off the bridge just like that? I might not have any evidence just yet but I will find a way to make you pay for it once we’re out,’ she said pseudo-confidently, making the Marketing major laugh at her pathetic attempt of a threat. Although, once the morbid sound of his chuckle died, Taehyung had to admit that the girl had guts. If he had been in her shoes, he would have never gone against someone as ruthless as he was with nothing but a wild guess up in her sleeves. She would have needed at least a dozen of aces to beat him in his own game.

‘Oh, really? I want to see you try,’ he said with one of his characteristic, shit-eating grins before he took another step forwards, forcing the girl to take one back.

Wendy’s heels collided with the threshold of the restaurant’s entrance although she managed to keep her balance. She steeled her heart and shot a cold smile at the boy in return, holding his burning gaze.

‘I cannot wait to see you behind those bars. They say, people like you get beaten up at least three times a week,’ she said with her chin held up high and she even let out a mocking giggle to show the boy that she wasn’t a fragile little girl whom he could have scared. ‘Oh, and you should avoid the shower when others are there, too. You can never know…’

Wendy couldn’t finish the sentence as her last words froze onto the tip of her tongue at the moment, Taehyung grabbed her hair and smashed her head against the door frame. The metal turned ruby red where her temple had touched it and so as the floor where her lifeless body had landed once the boy let go of her messy locks.

People rushed out of the kitchen to check what had been the noise that they had heard and the culprit was smiling, hiding behind the bathroom’s door when the boy with the coldest eyes stated that even though she was still warm under his touch, Wendy had died.

➼  XI. chapter

[mojoflower]

Teen Wolf mpreg fic recs (99% Sterek, 1% Steter)

I know that you love me, even when I lose my head by LunaCanisLupus 22 E, 136k, Complete.  “We’re not mates, Cora,” he insists. “I mean look at him-“  //  “Ouch,” the kid says, no longer pushing that shit eating grin.  //  “He’s- he’s,” Derek tries, at a loss of how to explain why this can’t be possible. Why it shouldn’t be possible.  //  Or the one where Derek gets attacked by hunters, ends up with amnesia and forgets Stiles is his mate.

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek, but Stiles is a BAMF, BAMF Stiles, presumably Actual Derek is also a bamf, but College Derek is pretty useless, Heh heh

Wow, this story just grabbed me and didn't let me go and now it's the end of a full day and I have no excuse for abandoning everything except that I was really involved and enjoying the plot.  //  Stiles is such a fucking badass, I love this, he's super-smart and strategizes and handles everything that comes up like a pro and it's totally easy to see why they have such a large and powerful pack. 'College Derek', meanwhile, is a complete sexist asshole (with the whole Alpha/omega thing) who says some super hurtful things in the first half out of sheer ignorance mostly -- although occasionally it's spite. Stiles handles it as well as he can, trying to hide that it hurts and striking back because he has backbone for god's sake... but his bondmark is slowly fading and that's terrifying and tragic.  //  Meanwhile, the Silva pack is due to arrive with some manifest bad intentions, and Peter is lurking around stirring up trouble, and it's a really fucking bad time for Derek to not remember who he is, because it makes their pack vulnerable.  //  Great story.

The Lighthouse Keeper by tugela54 E, 75k, Complete.  On a rural island just off Alaska’s northern Inside Passage, stands a centuries old lighthouse - the perfect sanctuary for its keeper to hide when the moon is full, to burn and rage through its cycle with the townsfolk being none the wiser.  //  But then a new resident comes to Beacon Harbour – a bright-eyed young student chasing an elusive whale species – and all of a sudden those thick stone walls seem paper thin…

Bottom Stiles, Like Whoa,  

 Whoa, that was an intense climax, I'm kinda breathless. Great story. Stiles is earnest and funny (and sooo hot for the giant, hairy, handsome man -- when author says size difference they are not messing around and it's mentioned frequently) and Derek is monosyllabic and awkward. They figure it out eventually, and there is hot sex (did I say size difference and hirsuteness?). Laura's a great werewolf-sister (Derek is the only werewolf) and her son Seth is a cutie. The cast of characters (Chris, Jordon, Finstock, Angus, Gladys and the two First People Miriam and Jonah) are interesting and fleshed-out. Love the plot, and the take on Derek's werewolf (not Teen Wolf style), love the First People lore and rituals, love the setting waaay up in Alaska on this tiny island.  //  (Don't let Major Character Death tag scare you, you're gonna be just fine.)

Hey Lover, I Got a Sugarcane by pibroch (littleblackdog) Steter, E, 17k, Complete.  [References to Mpreg rather than straight-up #mpreg]  “Put Peter on the phone,” Stiles says, too sharp to be polite.  //  “What?” Derek sounds completely thrown. “Stiles, I don’t think— Okay, you’re obviously not understanding what’s happening here. Peter isn’t talking. He’s basically just growling at this point, and he’s rounding on anyone that gets too close. He actually bit me when I tried to take back my pillow. I nearly lost a thumb.”  //  “Derek.” The reality of this shitshow of a situation is finally kicking in, undeniably, and Stiles needs to hear Peter’s voice. “Just trust the omega, okay? Tell him it’s me, and give him the damn phone.”  //  ---"Wrangling Rut-Drunk Alpha Boyfriends 101" by Stiles Stilinski, omega and responsible adult person.

I've loved other things I've read by this author

Delicious. And also funny.

I've Got A Sure Thing by skoosiepants  T, 11k, Complete.  Stiles's water breaks ten miles outside of Beacon Hills.

Fox Stiles, Werefox Stiles, Daddy Stiles

Precious: I love the style, it tumbles and tumbles over itself. Stiles is himself. Derek keeps hanging around, and he loves little Princess Leia. Cora keeps laughing at them. Stiles might be a little confused.

******

He calls Derek and says, “I think your entire family is here, dude,” and Derek roars, “What?” and, “Don't call me dude, “ and, “Fuck, I'll be right over.”

Derek shows up in his EMT uniform and with his partner Boyd, stoic and amused, and the wild look in Derek's eyes is probably as close to a panic as Stiles will ever see him in.

Derek says, “Oh my god, Laura,” and grabs for Prin just as Prin launches herself out of Laura's arms toward him. He swings her up in a practiced movement and settles her on his hip and Laura grins so wide her fangs are showing.

“The pack wanted to meet her, even Mom's here,” she says, gesturing toward a big black wolf that looks almost exactly like Derek in wolf form – the wolf lifts her head and sneezes at them, then goes back to nosing through Stiles's DVD collection.

“Mom,” Derek says, and holds Prin up so she hides his face. Prin tugs at his hair and knees him in the eye and giggles when he shoves her up so her tummy is balanced on the top of his head, it's so cute Stiles can hardly stand it, his life is insane.

“Okay,” Stiles says, clapping his hands together, “I'll make tea.”

I don't think that means what you think it means by ThroughTheTulips  M, 21k, 7 works, Complete.  Ever notice how aliens have mostly similar customs to humans in Stargate? There never seem to be words or concepts that just don't translate. For the most part that makes sense given how they were spread deliberately across the universe, but there should be more weird stuff.  //  So I made some. This is very fluffy and ridiculous. Enjoy.

I simply can't with this. What an unanticipated, hysterical delight.

 I Know Where Babies Come From, Derek by DiscontentedWinter  E, 52k, Complete (series is 132k of deliciousness)  [Implied Mpreg, rather than actual #mpreg].  Stiles finds a baby on the porch.  //  It looks exactly like him.  //  Well, this is awkward.

Favorite, read again, still a favorite

Funny and unique and gripping (and there's one part that's simply fucking heartbreaking, god every.time. I bawl like a baby). I love this so much. It's totally one of my return-again-and-again-comfort-fics (even though there's very little that's slow-paced and domestic about it).

 monday i can fall apart but by friday i'm in love by tryslora  M, 6k, Complete.  It's just past five in the morning and Stiles is barely awake, wearing only sleep pants that hang low below his pregnant belly, and he can't get the damned brand new jar of decaf coffee open. But he has a neighbor, and he's too tired to think that waking someone else up at this hour might not be the best (or politest) of ideas.

Alpha Derek, Omega Stiles, Caretaking,  

lol.  short and funny and sweet and Alpha!Derek is a caretaker (and pregnant omega!Stiles is a sass-spewing dork)

 finger on the trigger and all fired up by tryslora  E, 6k, Complete  [Implied Potential Mpreg rather than #mpreg].  Derek goes undercover to expose a drug trafficking ring running inside of a porn studio. What he finds is Stiles.

Hot and funny.

 I'm Not Immune by moodwriter  E, 24k, Complete.  “Did they inject anything into you? You can hold me back. You can stop me. I can’t stop you.” Stiles is in full blown panic mode now.  //  The one where Stiles and Derek get kidnapped, and sex needs to happen for reasons.

Great story, grows as it's written. Follows a lot of emotional development, tangled in the godawfulfucking situation they're trapped in.

Fire, Fury, and Flame by IAmAVeronica  E, 125k, Complete.  Stiles Stilinski was never going to be the omega who got knocked up right after high school, and then he's accidentally artificially inseminated with a stranger's sperm.  //  Awesome.  //  And the father of Stiles's baby just so happens to be Derek Hale. Half-feral, quite possibly a murderer, and pursued by a gleefully sadistic band of hunters who are only too eager to use Stiles and his baby to hit Derek right where it hurts.  //  Joy.

Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek, Mpreg, Kidnapping, Stalking, cultural ramifications of a/b/o

So, Stiles, the omega-rights activist who never wants anything to do with an Alpha and wants to avoid any of that biological imperative bullshit, winds up pregnant a la Jane the Virgin. BUT. Derek is unwilling to commit, or even to have Stiles tell anyone who the baby-Daddy is. This could be because a complete psychopath has him in her targets.

Kate is one fuck-scary villain, just, crazy as a bag of cats and vicious with it, and the filth that comes out of her mouth is truly chilling.

Stiles gets kidnapped pretty early on, which is frightening enough, and then she's back for another try. At that point, he's kidnapped again, this time by Derek, who whisks him across the country to the Preserve, a werewolf compound in Maine. Here, Stiles is the only human, pregnant and vulnerable and trying to make a temporary life until the baby is born. But will it only be temporary?

There's love, sociopolitical musings, lots of angst, lots of danger. The baby is born about 3/4 of the way through the story, and then Kate comes around to terrorize everyone again. Even though Derek and Stiles are living in a house that's reinforced with bars and a panic room, she still manages to nearly burn Stiles and the baby…

 Rescue Me (& Take Me In Your Arms) by tumtatumtum  E, 34k, Complete (series is 37k so far).  Just when Stiles is starting to reach panic-attack levels of stress, a leather jacket and firm thigh are pressed right up next to him, and an arm is casually thrown over his shoulder. Stiles looks up to thank this kind person who is saving his life, and suddenly forgets what air is.  //  Because HOT. DAMN. Call the police and the fire-man, this guy is smoking.  //  Or the AU where Derek helps save Stiles from an ex, and a steamy BDSM relationship ensues- with feelings all over the place.

Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sub Stiles, Dom Derek

Whoooaa, Nellie. Strap in for a ride, folks. Hot and also hilarious, which is a difficult combo to achieve. Loads of D/s sexy times. Stiles is precious. Derek is possessive and a wee bit insecure. They're awful fun to watch together.  ***The one where Stiles is Alpha Mate which magically means he starts leaking slick outta his ass, even tho he's human.

*******

[Kept trying to find this fic using key words bar and boyfriend and ex-boyfriend... which finally got me there. It's SO worth a re-read or ten.] I also tagged it with fake/pretend relationships, since it's fake for about the first 5 minutes, until Derek puts his hand on the back of Stiles' neck and Stiles moans and MELTS and lo, romantic and sexual interest is born.)

 It's a mad, mad world by ElisAttack  E, 74k, Complete [No #mpreg]  "They call him the Feral Wolf." The man laughs hysterically as Stiles backs away from him, fear coursing through his veins. "Feral Hale. Do you know why? Huh?" The man creeps closer, testing the restraint of his chains, white talcum falling from his skin, swirling in the air like the dust devils plaguing the wasteland. "Because he's fucking mad."  //  Or the one where Stiles is a prisoner looking to return home, but to do so, he may have to rely on a questionable drifter.

Really enjoyed this. Very interesting take on alpha/omega, haven't seen it before. And yay for apocalyptic mad max-type world. Scary as fuck.

a little advice for aspiring fires by The Byger (Byacolate)  E, 42k, Complete.  Regardless of his sadly lacking social circle, Stiles was going to have to get some physical contact or he was going to explode. Seriously. It’d be messy and Derek would probably become even more emotionally constipated having to clean up little bits of Stiles from his pristine walls and furniture.

Touch-Starved, Skin Hunger, Omega Stiles, Sassy Stiles, stiles talks CONSTANTLY, Mpreg, Kidfic

But We're Still Sleeping Like We're Lovers by CharWright5  E, 110k, Complete  [No #mpreg].  There are several things Stiles Stilinski knows to be facts: he's a werecoyote like his parents; his twin sister Malia could use a filter more than him; he's an Omega and terrified of his upcoming heat; and Derek Hale-McCall will never see him as anything more than his kid brother's best friend. Doesn't stop Stiles from asking the Alpha to help him during his heat. Or from developing some serious feelings that go beyond the bedroom. Basically, he's totally screwed, in more ways than one.

Fox Stiles, Creature Stiles, he's not a fox, but when I'm cruising that tag, I'll like to read this story

Idiot boys. Hot sex. More idiot boys. Angst. Fluff.

Jurisdiction by elisera  M, 7k, Complete (series complete at 20k).  John is a pretty level-headed guy. He wasn’t always, back during his own Sturm und Drang period, but he married a firecracker of a woman and got a kid with an affinity for trouble like he got payed for ending up in it, so someone had to level out or they would’ve ended up living in a treehouse or Lapland doing god knows what. Anyway, getting a hold of his temper is one of John’s better life achievements. It makes him a good sheriff and it kept him from blowing his lid too badly those last two years when Stiles started acting out in a way that John had never seen before.  //  But the temper is still there.  //  He’s reminded of it when he comes home on a random Saturday in March after spilling his milkshake all over his uniform shirt only to notice he didn’t have a spare in the station and finds Stiles bend over the kitchen sink with hunched shoulders.

Papa Stilinski is a total badass and mmm mmmm mmmm, so is Derek. Stiles has got some awesome muscle looking out for his best interests.

Into Something New by marguerite_26  E, 9k, Complete.  [Implied Mpreg rather than #mpreg].  Something is happening to Stiles. He’s losing time. Something is messing with his head, with his body. Maybe if he felt better he’d think to be worried.

 Nowhere Man by 1lostone  E, 76k, Complete.  [Mpreg (off screen)]  When Stiles leaves Beacon Hills, he does it without a backwards glance. For two years he is happy on the other side of the country- until someone targets not only him, but his daughter.  //  Unfortunately, the asshole bodyguard his dad hired to make sure he gets back home is none other than Derek Hale. And that's really not very good for either of them.

1lostone is, as always, the goddess of the lengthy, painful, disturbing, angsty, violent, sexy story. God, I love it.

The Second Coming (of Werewolf Jesus) by lupinus, uraneia  E, 40k, Complete.  Stiles was enjoying his senior year until his crazy English teacher decided he made the best candidate to gestate Derek's kid. Now Stiles is a seventeen-year-old pregnant dude and he and Derek have to figure their shit out, because in nine months they are going to be tied together for the rest of their lives.

Sweet: very fluffy and domestic.

Pride and Place by DarkAthena (seraphim_grace)  E, 63k, Complete.  (Part of series A/B/O bodice rippers) [Mpreg, Discussion of mpreg, no men were pregnant in the making of this fic].  Derek Hale, Earl of Osterbrook, has inherited, following the death of Lord Montfort, a run down house in Yorkshire he neither needs nor wants, convinced his staff are robbing him, and with the mystery of a missing ward, he manages to get himself talked into a ridiculous bet, that he cannot pass as a steward until Midwinter, nearly two months away. So can he maintain the charade? Find the missing child? and manage to turn the shambles of a house around, or will he give up and let Peter take the thousand pounds he bet.  //  now with explicit epilogue - the rest of the story is teen rated though, so if you don't like the idea of explicit sex in your bodice rippers - just don't read that bit.

Great story.

The Well of Living Waters by kalpurna  E, 30k, Complete.  King Derek takes a consort.

 Within His Power by NoBezel  E, 69k, Complete.  [Discussion of mpreg]  Derek is a wolfish cyborg, brother of the Governor of California, heir to the Hale fortune. Stiles is a un-sequenced human in a world of designer DNA. When Derek is forced to choose a mate, no one expects him to choose Stiles. To be fair, Derek doesn't expect him to say no.

Pretty fucking phenomenal. Lots of world-building and political intrigue. If you're in it for the tropes, you'll be disappointed, but otherwise it's intense and dense and lovely.

The Threat of Human Sacrifice by vampireisthenewblack  E, 45k, Complete.  The sheriff bought a crib and made Derek help him put it together. Stiles thought of Hemingway and the shortest, most heartbreaking story ever told, and dismantled it on his own while Derek was out.  //  [The one where Stiles getting knocked up is the least of his worries.]

So excellent and intense.

The Honey and the Sting by the_ragnarok  M, 19k, Complete (series still wip)  Derek didn't remember what happened when he went into heat. He could only assume the worst. The truth may be stranger than that.

Beautiful.

Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel  E, 77k, Complete.  "So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.  //  God, he dreams.  //  He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Fuck.

 Shifts by gryvon  E, 15k, Complete.  Stiles has what he's always secretly wanted - he's in a relationship with Derek and he's one of Derek's betas - but all that gets turned upside down when Gerard kidnaps him and his unexpected baby.

Who doesn't want Stiles having emotionally confusing sex with Derek, getting knocked up unbeknownst to either of them, and then kidnapped for the future baby? I mean, really. It's classic.

A Mating Moon by unpossible  E, 37k, Complete.  (Series 55k so far.) [this is not mpreg, just to be clear]  “Hey, Scott, so, I uh, there’s this amazingly hot guy and I’m uh, gonna spend the weekend with him but, you know, just to be careful, I’m sending you his picture, so if by some terrible chance my bloated corpse shows up sometime Monday, just, y’know pass this along to the authorities.” He pauses. “Uh. Kidding?” and then hangs up with a rush of air.  //  “That is the worst voicemail in the history of voicemails,” Derek says.

fucking fantastic

 (Once in a) Blue Moon by clarkoholic, skywardsmiles  E, 60k, Complete.  (Series 63k so far.)  Stiles and Derek are getting along, but they’re not a family, and they’re sure as hell not mates. Christ, they’re basically just two stupid guys who happened to get pregnant because of a full moon and sheer dumb luck.

Oh, the angst, the pining, the guilt, the blame, the anger. Total pain-fest while we watch Stiles nearly die from the burden of the pregnancy. Lovely sweet ending, of course.

Tried and Tested Series by dancinbutterfly  E, 53k, 12 works, Complete.  In which Derek has a sex emergency with unplanned results, Stiles could be the baby daddy on one of those horrible MTV pregnancy shows, Sheriff Stilinski takes in strays and life in Beacon Hills never has a dull moment, not even when things are calm.

Really wonderful series. Stopped at Part 11, so am waiting for updates. A good investment of time, even incomplete. ;D  //  [Huh, evidently I missed an update somewhere along the line!]

In the Solstice of our Hearts by ravingrevolution  E, 73k, Complete.  "You're not putting that up your butt," Scott told him flatly and Stiles couldn't stop the pissed off whine he made, but his friend continued. "Stiles, you can't put that up your butt, you know that. Your butt won't be ready for anything to go in it until-"  //  "Okay, okay!" he said, flailing his hands to stop his friend's lecture. "Message received, no butt stuff until I'm pounced on by some freaking animal in the forest and ravished to within an inch of my life. Got it. Thanks, Scotty, I mean heaven forbid I actually try to take control of my life and give myself a fighting chance or anything."  //  "Not all alphas are animals," Scott said quietly.  //  Maybe he was right, but Stiles wasn't holding his breath.

Omega Stiles, Berserk Stiles, omega beast, everyone's a virgin, Hurt/Comfort, care taking

The one where there's a Mate Run in the woods, and Derek with his pack manage to frighten Stiles up a tree from whence he falls and is impaled on a branch (ouch!) and then they spend a week in a cave while Stiles heals. Meanwhile, Kate and her cronies are sneaking into the month-long Mate Run with the intent to a)finally kill Derek and b) sneakily bond with some omegas. So Stiles goes berserk, which is the omega form of a hulking violence monster, to protect Derek. (Story could have stopped there, but carries on for another 1/3.)

[bat-lings]

Thoughts on the Tim and Damian "rivalry"?

Unconvincing at best and really forced at worse.

Firstly because trying to sell a rivalry between a sixteen-old and a ten-year-old just. Doesn’t work for me. It kinda makes Tim look like an asshole whenever he’s throwing the first punch at an unadjusted and formerly abused preteen tbh.

[Red Robin #1-2]

Yeah Tim is in a bad place, we all react badly when hurting, okay. What bothers me about this scene is that it should’ve been framed like a misstep on Tim’s part and that it wasn’t. Alfred pats him on the back? Really, would Alfred condone that?

Ahem, back on subject. Secondly I don’t find as much basis to this rivalry as we’re made to believe there is. It’s one-sided on Damian’s part, so by definition there’s no rivalry to speak of— outside of Batman & Son anyway.

That arc aside, Tim and Damian’s dynamic has actually little to do with rivalry. Plus, every reason that can possibly be given for them to compete over just doesn’t hold for me.

>> Fighting or detective skills? For all his super ninja/assassin training, Damian is ten. Tim has nothing to envy him training-wise & is more experimented, meaning he can beat him the second he starts trying. As detectives and while Damian is far from inapt in that area, Tim does have a natural ability in detective work and he is, again, more experimented. I’m not selling Damian short in either department, he’s ten and Tim’s sixteen, it’s normal. Tim knows that, he’s got no reason to feel threatened by Damian’s skills.

>> Bruce’s love? I’ve never read Tim as seriously doubting Bruce loves him tbh. Most of his insecurities come from doubting himself as Robin, not as someone Bruce cares about. Yes it can overlap in a kid’s mind, an probably does to some point in Tim’s— but not that significatively to my understanding. His relationship with Bruce is actually pretty swell by the time Damian arrives*.

[Robin (1993) #123 & #163]

*Those issues respectively happen before and after Damian’s character is introduced. He didn’t change things all that much if at all, considering.

>> The Robin mantle? Let’s separate this into Before / After Bruce’s death.

Before Bruce’s death, Tim’s place as Robin is secure. Bruce has legit no intention to give the mantle to Damian. Bruce repeatedly went out of his way to praise or reassure Tim.

[Robin (1993) #9, #166, #17, #106 & #74]

+ several other times I’m not putting there since they weren’t in Tim’s presence. For context Robin #17 has Tim disobeying express orders to stay put ‘cause he doesn’t have a choice. He doesn’t even have the time to worry Bruce will chew him out before Bruce does the opposite.

I don’t mean that a few sweet words here and there magically cure all of Tim’s insecurities. They don’t. But they’re still there for Tim to hear. And Bruce’s opinion aside, Tim himself trusts his skills more and more as time goes by (tbh I see him as more confident than fanon sometimes makes him to be). The tale according to which Damian shatters that confidence all by himself leaves me unconvinced.

Batman #665 has Tim going after a villain who beat the shit out of Bruce to prove his worth after Damian’s arrival but that really feels… off, for Tim. Throwing himself at an enemy he knows he can’t beat when it’s not a last resort is just not like him. Tim grew into Robin with Jason’s death firmly in mind, in a narrative that blamed Jason’s death on his own recklessness, and was always careful to do better & not to run headfirst into danger without a plan.

Even if Tim could possibly feel threatened as Robin, Damian at this time has no qualms about killing. A kid that’s okay with killing from the get-go is not a Robin candidate in Bruce’s mind, and Tim knows that.

After Bruce’s death, the reason Dick gave Robin to Damian is because Damian needed it more than Tim did (and because it was the only way to keep Damian in check). It had nothing to do about their respective abilities or what they deserved. And it’s not why Tim is hurt– he’s hurt ‘cause Robin was the only remaining stability in that shitstorm period of his life. Damian himself actually has very little to do with it. It’s Dick Tim’s angry with. And since the title has already been taken away from Tim, there’s nothing left to fight for anyway.

>> The Batman mantle / who’s Batman’s fittest successor? Tim doesn’t want to become Batman. Like. He really, really doesn’t want to become Batman. He associates it too much with Bruce’s unhealthy psyche.

I was gonna go panel hunting but @nightwing-ing-it already did all the hard work so I’ll shamelessly let that rad post do all the argumentation for me: /post/174701270362/tim-drake-not-becoming-like-batman (I’d just add ‘Tec #621 to the list since it shows that Tim has never wanted the cowl and has been conscious of its worst facets from the very beginning.)

(Yes tumblr blacklisting posts with links from the tags is annoying, I’m doing what I can)

Damian wants to succeed his father in every sense because he was taught to want it. He’ll probs grow out of it (I hope). Until then Tim’s reaction if Damian ever claims to be the fittest successor in front of him should be along the lines of “sure, whatevs.”

Conclusion: any strong feeling of inadequacy, of lack of skills, of being threatened– those should be experimented by Damian only. Whenever Tim is made to strongly believe he actually has something to compete for against Damian, I have trouble finding credibility in the narrative.

A rivalry doesn’t feel natural to me. It feels like a flawed construction made up on the spot to fit a flawed idea.

And to be fair, canon itself didn’t force it all that much. Morrison suggested said rivalry during Batman & Son ‘cause it went with all his family metaphors I guess. But that arc aside there isn’t any other occurrence (that I remember) where Tim is actively participating in a “rivalry”. He mostly reacts to Damian’s provocations, but he’s not competing for anything.

Whatever rivalry was hinted at between the two doesn’t have a big place in canon at all. Damian being barely even mentioned in Tim’s Robin run, my feeling is that any kind of true rivalry wasn’t meant to play a role outside of Morrison’s Batman & Son narrative.

Plus it’s not just with Tim: Damian is an abrasive brat towards everyone in the Batfam ‘cause he’s that insecure. He thinks everyone is his rival in some way.

[Gates of Gotham #2 || Batgirl (2009) #5 || Batman & Robin (2009) #1]

It’s not so much a Tim & Damian thing as it is a Damian thing, and I see little appeal in any narrative trying to say otherwise. It just doesn’t work in my mind… and again with the age difference, fam, it would make it ridiculous for Tim to engage in any kind of rivalry. Would you compete against a preteen 6-7 years your cadet saying they’re better than you?

If it wasn’t obvious enough: this is all a very personal take. Some points may be clumsily presented as facts— they’re not meant to be, it’s just that I’m too lazy to add “in my opinion” to each sentence.

Arguably most of my arguments don’t necessarily have much weight when discussing what a character might be feeling, rational-thinking aside. Many read Tim as way more insecure than I do, and a new arrival in any family can breed jealousy anyway. And there is jealousy between Tim and Damian.

But jealousy doesn’t always equal rivalry and I don’t read Tim as insecure enough to kill all rational thinking. Again you may see things differently and you’ll have fair reasons to.

Me? I like it as a one-sided thing for Damian to grow out of.

On that note, Damian is already far less agressive towards Tim by the time he comes back in Gotham during RR... up until the hit list thing, because it truly hurt Damian. As of Gates of Gotham there’s little spite left between them anymore.

God this is way longer than it should be. Shutting up now, thanks for the ask!

[silver-wields-a-pen]

Illthdar High: An au fan fiction

Friday 

Zercey’s cheerleading uniform was clean and pressed to perfection, her ponytail was extra high and fluffy and her sneakers where stark white. She looked perfect. Pep rallies were the most important event of a high school cheerleader’s life and everything would go well or else. She’d already reminded her squad that anyone who messed up would warm the bleachers for the rest of the year. Failure in any form would not be tolerated, not today. “He was really sweet when he asked me, he brought me roses and everything,” Zercey declared, talking loud enough so that everyone in the immediate area, including Lerki, could hear her. The cheerleaders and athletes from the various sports teams were in the gym, running through some last-minute details for the upcoming pep rally. She focused on her task, but if she could make Lerki jealous while pulling off the greatest cheer routine in Illthdar High history then why not?

“Are… are you going to go with him?” Anna asked cautiously, eyeing Lerki over Zercey’s shoulder. “I think Lerki can hear you,” she added in a whisper, not realizing that Lerki hearing her was the entire point.

“I might!” Zercey chirped. “James is a doll, and he’s hot too. He’d be a fun date. I might even let him take me back to hi….”

“I thought we were going to the dance together?” Lerki’s angry voice cut into the conversation and Zercey carefully didn’t smirk. 

Hook, line and sinker. “Are we?” She turned around pretending shock at the news. “I didn’t know, since you didn’t bother to ask me or anything.”

“I didn’t think I had to ask my girlfriend to go to the dance with me,” Lerki all but growled, annoyed with her attitude.

“You thought wrong,” Zercey informed him, turning on her heel quick enough to send her ponytail smacking right into his face. She left him standing there, stewing in his anger and being snickered at by his meathead friends.

~*~*~

Loud cheers from the rally filtered through the empty hallways and Rhoe rolled her eyes as she heard the cheerleaders start their stupid routine. She never understood the point of cheerleaders, they didn’t really do anything except walk around in miniskirts and blow the football team when they needed it. It was a waste of time and school money in her opinion, but then she also believed that school in general was a waste of time and money.

“How long does this take?”

Rhoe made an annoyed sound as Salem’s voice rang out from behind her, urging her to pick the lock on the school council’s door faster, as if she was going slow to spite him. “Shut your trap vampire boy. Remember that I’m doing this for free and if you don’t want me to turn your ass in then you better stop annoying me.” Picking the locks on the school was a delicate process, and it took time and the more he whined about it, the more frustrated she would get and the more time it would take. “Cowan, next time Sparkler opens his mouth to speak, punch him.”

The threat and Cowan’s evil smirk made Salem shut his mouth and Rhoe, finally able to work in peace, got the door unlocked for them.

The student council office was more like a closet with a few desks shoved inside. There were boxes of old decorations stacked in one corner and the entire room smelled like must and Febreze. How Imogen worked in this dump was beyond any of them. It looked like a room Miss. Trunchbull would lock students in for punishment.

“What’s gonna happen if Imogen is the one to tally the votes?” Salem asked as Rhoe zoned in on the massive box used to gather the votes for the homecoming court.

“My sister? Do grunt work like counting? HAHAHA no.”

Imogen was a president mostly in title, she had minions to do the technical stuff for her and Rhoe had no concerns about their plot being foiled by the ‘perfect’ child.

They upturned the overly decorated and sparkly box onto the floor and sorted through the countless pieces of paper as quickly as possible. Dozens of new votes for Seth and Scyanatha got removed and replaced for the other participants, all courtesy of Khrome. The boys had spent a good portion of their night writing the new votes and while the hand cramps probably wouldn’t help them in their performance later, it would be worth it to see Seth and Scy’s face when they realized they lost.

“Who did you guys decide for the winner?” Cowan asked, stuffing all the Scyeth votes into his bag to dispose of when they left the school as throwing them away anywhere inside the building was too risky.

“Xyl picked Nina and Richard,” Salem explained. “Those two have been together since elementary school and they’re liked enough for it to be believable they'd win.” He didn’t know the couple himself and it didn’t matter as long as Seth and Scy didn’t win then all was well.

“How about you shut your mouths and sort through these papers faster?” Rhoe snapped at them, shutting them both up instantly. “We have a limited time here so less chatter and more sorting.”

~*~*~

Wearing Illthdar High's turquoise and purple, Imogen was on her feet, whistling and clapping with the rest of the school. The cheer squad’s latest routine had just finished with a bang. Literally. They tossed Zercey toward the ceiling and kicked out with her arms and legs just as the song’s apex, an explosion sound effect, rang out. The things her petite friend could do were impressive, even to someone as physically adverse as she was.  

Zercey and the rest of the cheerleaders smiled and waved as they picked up their pom-poms from the floor and headed towards the left wing of the gym. Now that the special homecoming cheer was out of the way, Principal Chiyoko made her way to the microphone in the middle of the court.

“What an––” Ms. Chiyoko’s face was too close to the mic, and the piercing shrill of feedback rang out. “An exciting performance,” she finished squeakily, hastily moving back and giving a small, apologetic smile. “Really wonderful. Homecoming is such a fantastic time of year. A time for new beginnings and electrifying victories...”

Imogen rolled her eyes as the older woman continued. ‘Chiyoko’ was right: everything about the woman said she'd choke in any situation. She wished the principal would just get on with it already before she killed the energy in the room and let everyone’s minds wander. 

Thinking along the same lines, Principal Chiyoko continued, “And now to keep this party going,” she gave a quick chuckle, “your student body president, Imogen Kallder.”

Imogen walked towards the mic with a confidence she didn’t feel. She hated public speaking, but knew if anyone would take her seriously down the line as a career woman, she’d have to get over that. “Good afternoon Illthdar High!” She had been practicing with her note cards all last night and now knew every beat, every gesture, in her speech. She managed to get through it flawlessly. That is, until the very end when she caught her sister and her friend sneaking into the gym. She wasn’t surprised that Rhoe or Cowan came in late – the fact that they bothered to show up at all was almost a compliment – but trailing a couple feet behind them and acting shifty was Salem. “Our, er...” Imogen stumbled, momentarily distracted by the sight of her not-boyfriend hanging out with her obnoxious sister and her tag-along. Shit. Pull yourself together. She hastily slapped a smile on her face. “Our football team has had a fantastic season so far, with five wins and no losses. Give it up for the Fighting Veikos, and their captain, Lerki Birch!” Imogen led the room in applause as Lerki and his team lumbered onto the middle of the court, each player looking cockier than the one before him. “Tomorrow’s game will be against the Midraert Wanderers at two pm,” Imogen continued, “followed by the homecoming dance tomorrow night from seven till midnight, where the Homecoming King and Queen will be crowned. And now, Mr. Bracken will introduce the extracurricular clubs.” 

Imogen waited until Mr. Bracken came up to the microphone before heading to take a seat in the bleachers, finding an empty spot next to Miu in the second row. The last part of her speech had been rushed, but she was more focused on the late arrivals than she was on the rest of the pep rally. What were those three up to? Both of her siblings had been acting weirder than usual since she caught them and their friends all together in her living room last night. She narrowed her eyes and craned her neck, searching the crowd for her brother’s lanky form or his friend’s artificially blue hair since those two were the easiest to spot.

Towards the back of the room and in the corner, another person had noted Salem’s late entrance. Vyxen frowned from where she sat between Raemina and Nyima. She knew her brother well enough to realize when he was up to something and he was definitely up to something. If it involved Rhoe and Cowan, then nothing good could come of it. Unfortunately, it was unlikely that she’d have time to talk to him again until tomorrow night and so she just hoped that whatever tomfoolery he had planned would not take place at the Talent Show or the dance. She would see Date and maybe he knew about it. Her eyes scanned the crowd, looking for an all-black, bored looking figure. She found him across the gymnasium and jumped when she realized he was looking right at her. He grinned when he caught her eye, licking his lips and winking. It was enough to short circuit Vyxen’s brain and momentarily make her forget that her brother was being a sketchy weirdo. Oh well, it couldn’t be that bad anyways.

~*~*~

Scyanatha waited at the judging table inspecting her perfectly manicured fingernails. She sat beside the stage along with Zercey and a surly senior named Flynn. Why in the world anyone thought a social nobody like him was fit for a job as important as this was beyond her. Unfortunately, that giant dork Mr. Culvers and the sputtering Mr. Uwe were also judges, so Scy didn’t have the highest hopes for the outcome. If the way the talent show participants dressed were any sign, they were all losers, and she was wasting her time. 

First onto the stage was Miu, the resident emcee. Beyond Scyanatha’s comprehension, they usually picked Miu as the hype-man for things like this and everybody seemed to love it. These peasants really have the worst taste, she thought arrogantly, as she took in the other girl’s shiny black hair and smooth dark skin.

After Miu blathered on more, the first act was up: two girls from the Sketch Comedy Club, walked onto the stage with a box of props. After several minutes of mind-numbing ‘jokes’ about the different groups and cliques at the high school, they exited to polite applause. 

Scyanatha looked down at her score sheet in front of her, and then glanced over to Zercey, who asked, “So what did you think?”

She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. “Tacky,” she responded before jotting down the number 4 next to the girls’ names. Zercey nodded in agreement, but gave them a 5.

She looked up as the next person took the stage: an orange-haired girl Miu introduced as ‘Avari.’ Wearing a flower crown and long, lacy vest. She walked up to the mic and recited a poem she wrote. “He wrapped his love around me/ Like a bow/ As if/ I was a Christmas gift...”

Scy nearly choked.

In the audience, Jingyi sat beside Nyima and grimaced every time he noticed Scyanatha roll her eyes. He didn’t think some acts were great, but he had to give them credit for getting up on stage and doing their thing. He couldn’t imagine performing in front of people, he thought they deserved credit for their bravery. Scy would give them terrible scores just because she could and that wasn’t fair. Who on earth invited her to be a judge, anyway? He caught sight of long red hair out of the corner of his eyes and sighed. It would be Imogen. It sucked when the person who should have the most concern about student activities and wellbeing was friends with the worst person in the entire school. Jingyi just tried not to pay attention to her, he shifted, so he stood a little closer to Nyima and was debating reaching out to hold her hand when the next act was introduced. Nina and Richard came out, dressed in matching outfits, and performed a song they had written together. It was a love song, one they sang while staring at each other and Jingyi could hear every girl in the immediate area sigh happily, as though they were watching their favorite romance movie. His eyes turned to Nyima again, she had one of her hands on her chest and she was watching the performance with a dreamy look on her face. He wondered briefly if he should take up singing and then abandoned that idea just as fast, remembering he sounded like a dying seagull whenever he tried to sing. He doubted he’d get the same dreamy look from her that Nina was. If anything he’d probably send her running for the hills the moment he started his squawking. Nyima looked pretty with that faraway smile on her face though and so he bundled his courage, took a breath and grabbed her hand. He didn’t release it until he felt her fingers curl around his own. Her hand was warm and soft and being able to hold it made him feel like he was on top of the world. He probably had a dorky, faraway look on his face now too but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was Nyima and how awesome it felt to be beside her.

The illusion broke when Nina and Richard exited the stage to monumental applause and Seth came out. Scy jumped from her seat to clap for him and then she sat back down and stared at him as if he was a king while he belted out the worst rap lyrics Jingyi ever heard. He'd never been into rap music, but he was sure it should sound a little better than this. Most of the lyrics revolved around how hot and rich he was, some people were bouncing to his inexistent rhythm but Jingyi figured that was mostly to stay on his good side and not because they actually enjoyed his spitting. It was a relief when his ‘performance’ was done, ending with him walking off stage and Scyanatha loudly declaring that he was the best act of the night so far and sketching down what was likely a perfect score. Zercey looked less convince beside her. Her smile a little strained at the idea of complementing Seth’s horrendous rapping, but she gave him a high score. She didn’t really have a choice when Scy was looking over her shoulder to make sure of it.

~*~*~

The backstage area was a mess, people were running every which way as they collected their things and headed out to take their seats. Date had ensured that Khrome would be the second to last ones to take the stage, the visiting middle schoolers being the final act of the day, since  it would give them a little extra time to rock out and their music would be the last thing in everyone’s memories as they went home. Hopefully it would stick with them and they’d start selling some CDs and merchandise.

They were all dressed in black, with thick liner around their eyes and body glitter to make them stand out on stage. Salem had all but forced the glitter on them and he was doubtlessly the one wearing the most. Together, they looked like the poster children for Hot Topic and that was exactly the look they were aiming for. They did each try to customize themselves in small ways though. Date had feathery black wings attached to his back, Rhovan was wearing a neon blue belt and several neon bracelets, Salem had in contacts that made his eyes look red and his signature fake fangs were in place and Xyl had painted designs on his guitar with glow in the dark nail polish to give it a little ‘oomph’. They looked ridiculous, but the crowd ate it up. The cheer was resounded as they walked on stage. They had a small group of followers in the high school and everyone else was so drunk from the liquor they snuck in they would cheer on a deranged looking clown. Regardless of their reasoning, the cheering and the energy was infectious and it just got louder and more energized when the band started to play. Despite the fact that they looked crazy in their get-ups, Khrome wasn’t actually all that bad. Xyl, Rhovan and Salem all knew how to play their instruments well and Date had a really nice voice. The lyrics could use work though, since most of it sounded like the poetry of a sad, lonely Emo kid who was trying to be metal and ultimately failing.

Unbeknownst to Salem, Date had changed a line slightly to call out to his ‘moon haired muse,’ his dark eyes finding her in the crowd so he could ‘bore into her soul’ as he sang it. At least he imagined he was boring into her soul, in reality he looked constipated. It had Vyxen blushing all over though, so it served its purpose.

Salem tried not to swing his bass around and smack Date in the face, but it was a hard urge to resist. He specifically warned him NOT to sing about his sister in a creepy way and Date did it, anyway. What a jackass. The only thing he could do is to press on and hope no one noticed who the song was referencing. He strummed on his blood-red bass and walked forward to the edge of the stage. A few Khrome fangirls screamed and reached out their hands to touch him. One of them calling out that he was better than Edward Cullen and he flashed her a grin with his plastic fangs. He felt like an undead rock lord and it was amazing.

Xyl was throwing his head back and forth as he played, his curls bouncing around in a way that was more adorable than it was hardcore, but he was trying. Somewhere in the crowd, Rhoe and Imogen both rolled their eyes at him and hoped that no one would remember they were related. Cowan smiled though, thinking Xyl was kind of cute with his ‘rocker’ get-up and wondering how pissed Rhoe would be if he made moves on her brother.

Rhovan was in the background beating on his drums with his glittery sticks. He didn’t know how, when or why Salem had bought him glittering drum sticks but he knew better than to argue with the idiot. At least it made him slightly more visible, he tried to find Rae in the crowd but he couldn’t see through the masses. He hoped she was watching him and even if he knew it wouldn’t happen, he would have loved to see some lacy underwear thrown his way from the crowd. Maybe the exact set she was wearing when he saw her dancing the other day. The thought warmed him and had him smiling stupidly and hitting his drums harder, he would definitely find her after the show, maybe if he was lucky he’d get to see what panties she was wearing today.  

As the final chord from Xyl’s guitar slowly faded out, Date spoke into the microphone again. “Good evening, everyone. We’re Khrome.” He paused for a moment, trying to look cool and intimidating. He wore wings to take up more space on stage. Since he still hadn’t gotten his growth spurt, he needed all the help he could get, especially standing next to Xyl who was as tall and co-ordinated as those balloon people used for advertisements outside car dealerships. “That song was called ‘Carve Out My Jasper Heart,’ and is available on our new EP, which you can get from one of us after the show. This next song is ‘A Masked Man Hidden in the Shadows.’” He looked back at Rhovan and nodded.

Rhovan nodded back and banged his sticks together. “One, two, three, four!”

~*~*~

Raemina, Vyxen and Nyima were reserved through most of the talent show but when Khrome took the stage they let loose entirely. The audience became a mosh pit of people jumping up and down and screaming their heads off and so the nerdettes were free to do the same without risking being picked out or ridiculed for it. They could count the three of them as Khrome fan girls and not just because two of them were sorta-kinda dating members of the band.

Poor Jingyi knew nothing of Khrome but tried to act excited anyway just so he could stay beside Nyima as she danced on her tiptoes and screamed ‘WHOOO’ as loud as she dared. She was super cute, which made it easier for him to stomach the weird Emo lyrics washing over him.

Vyxen was entranced, her eyes were on Date and all she recalled thinking in that moment was that he looked like a beautiful dark angel and his eyes were right on her. She’d never felt sexy in her life but she did right then, she jumped extra high and scream as loud as she could, hoping to keep those slate grey eyes on her and only her.

Date sent a wicked grin in her direction, causing her stomach to twist into knots and her body to grow hot. He could ask her to do anything in that moment and she’d do it happily. By the widening grin on his face, he knew this information and would probably use it to his advantage at the dance tomorrow. 

Raemina normally would have noticed Vyxen mentally throwing herself at Date while he stripped her down with his eyes, but she was otherwise occupied with how the colorful stage lights made Rhovan look like he was glowing. She wasn’t entranced like her poor friend, but she thought he looked awfully attractive as he played the drums. It was quite a feat to be that attractive while holding glittery drum sticks, but he pulled it off. Rhovan looked good when he let loose. If there was a way to push through the crowd to make it to the front, she would have. She saw his eyes scan the crowd now and then and she hoped he was looking for her; he said he would when he dropped her off yesterday. He wouldn’t be able to see her in this mess though, she probably shouldn’t have worn dark colors today because it made her blend in too well. Tossing all her usual reservations aside, she joined Vyxen in jumping as high as she could and screaming loudly. She screamed his name, something she would be mortified by later, but it drew his eyes in her direction. He smiled at her and she knew she was doomed, he looked adorable and very much like the wiggly puppy she’d seen him with at the pet store.

“THEY’RE REALLY GOOD,” Jingyi shouted at Nyima, not so subtly reminding her he was beside her. They had released hands a few minutes ago, which was probably for the best since his palms were sweating, but he was starting to over-think things. What if she let go of his hand because she didn’t like him? She probably thought his clammy hands were gross and was just too nice to say anything.

“WHAT,” Nyima yelled back, drawing her attention away from the boy band before her.

“THEY’RE. GOOD,” he repeated.

She pulled her hair back and pointed to her ear. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU.” 

Jingyi mentally kicked himself. Of course she couldn’t hear him. God, he was such an idiot. He was about to shrug it off when a sudden bout of inspiration hit him. “I THINK YOU’RE––” Khrome’s song ended suddenly, “––BEAUTIFUL.” The final word echoed around them, and a few people nearby turned to stare while Nyima's eyes grew round and she blushed.  

~*~*~

“Coming in second...  Khrome!” Mr. Culvers announced from the stage. 

The four boys shuffled their feet, but nonetheless walked forward to stand by Kyle, whose parkour demonstration had placed him in third. 

“And the winner of tonight’s talent show and a $50 gift card to Kess’s Restaurant & Pizzeria... Seth Idle!” 

Rhovan growled as Seth came up, one hand waving in the air and a cocky grin on his face as if he were about to start signing autographs. After he took the card from Mr. Culvers’s hand he blew a kiss to Scyanatha, who was jumping up and down in excitement.

Imogen, Lerki, and Laura caught up to Scy and Zercey by the judge’s table and waited as Seth and the other participants got their pictures taken for the school newspaper. Now that her boyfriend had won, Scyanatha was in a much better mood. “He’s so talented,” she said dreamily, still staring at the boy on stage and marveling at the way the light glistened off his dark brown skin. 

Zercey and Imogen shared a knowing glance, but didn’t say anything to the contrary. Anyone with half a brain knew Seth couldn’t rap to save his life, but they also understood that not giving him what he wanted rarely ended up well for anyone else. 

“Yeah, he is!” Laura chirped in, smiling enthusiastically at the queen bee. 

“He didn’t have much competition,” added Imogen. She wasn’t completely lying. There were some downright cringe-worthy performances tonight, though most had been decent. One boy in particular had made her stomach flutter anxiously. Something about seeing Salem in his glitter and makeup, sweating as he strummed his bass had been so hot. What is wrong with you!? she yelled internally. This wasn’t the best place for her to be waging a war against her hormones, Imogen could see Zercey watching her from the corner of her eye. Seeming to put two and two together, she swept her eyes across the boys on the stage, trying to determine which one was causing Imogen to act so jittery. Absolutely none of the guys on stage were a good choice for her to have as a crush and she started to panic. It was unlikely that Zercey would pick out Salem from the rest, but she couldn’t risk it.

“The middle schoolers did a pretty good job closing the show.” Imogen blurted in a blind panic. The younger kids had put on a cute little show that wasn’t amazing, but it also wasn’t horrible.

Zercey smirked, but Laura seemed to perk up at the mention and nodded her head eagerly. “They were so cute! You know, my little brot….”

“Ugh, are you kidding me?” Scyanatha cut Laura off, disgusted. “The middle schoolers were awful. They couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket and did you see that dancing? They all looked like they were having seizures. It was ridiculous, especially that weird kid in the back. He looked like he had no idea what was going on around him, they shouldn’t let kids like him out in public.”

Imogen barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes, too used to Scyanatha’s biting remarks to be offended. In the process, her gaze landed on Laura who looked as though she had just been slapped in the face. She’d never seen her look anything less than infatuated with everything Scyanatha said so the wide-eyed shock and hurt she was displaying was interesting.

“He… he’s just shy. He’s working on it,” Laura mumbled and Imogen immediately figured out that the boy Scyanatha was picking on was her little brother.

Zercey also seemed to have caught on and opened her mouth to say something, but Scy wasn’t having it. “Working on it?” she scoffed. “Please. This is the problem with giving out participation trophies all the time. Losers think they have a chance at being something better.”

Just then, Seth walked up. Without hesitating, Scy turned her back on Laura and focused all of her attention instead on showering her boyfriend with affection.

Tears forming in her eyes, Laura retreated towards the stage where her brother and his friends were being congratulated by the third judge.

“Is she okay?” Lerki asked. For once his brow furrowed in concern and not confusion.

Imogen watched as Laura gathered up her brother into a big hug and sighed, “I don’t think so.”

~*~*~

“Here you go,” Date said, lifting the last of the drum kit and passing it to Rhovan, who was hunched inside the back of his parents’ minivan. 

Gingerly laying down the snare, he replied, “Thanks,” before hopping out of the car and closing the trunk behind him. The pair walked over to Salem and Xyl, who had just finished loading their guitars and amps into Salem’s car. 

“This is such bull--” Salem burst when the four of the reunited beside his car, an exact copy of the one Edward Cullen drove in the Twilight movies. “Seth only won because Scyanatha and her stupid friends gave him a high score.”

“No snap,” was Rhovan’s reply. “There’s no use whining about it though. We’ll get those two back tomorrow.”  

“No snap?” Date asked, amused. 

“I’m trying to cut back on cussing, ok? Bite me.”

“We will get them back, make no mistake about that,” Salem growled, returning the conversation to his bitterness over losing against someone who wouldn’t know good rap lyrics if they bit him on the face.

“Hey Salem, you wanna hang out at my house tonight? I got a new game and I need some help figuring it out.” Xyl attempted to change the subject, figuring that if Salem came with, then he’d have the whole night to sort out his temper and keep him from doing anything especially stupid tomorrow.

“Sure, my house will be boring tonight anyway since my parents are gone and Vyxen is staying with Raemina.” A happy noise came from somewhere to the side at that moment and Salem rolled his eyes. “Speak of the devil.”

The nerdettes came out of the school at that moment and Vyxen let out a weird, happy sound and rushed to give her brother a hug which he returned with only slight exasperation. “You guys did so great!” she claimed, pulling back and smiling shyly when Date opened his arms to get a hug next. She felt her heart race in both excitement and nervousness as she moved closer and felt his arms wrap tightly around her. He smelled like something dark and dangerous and wonderful and she loved it.

It was a shame it didn’t last. Salem all but yanked them apart and put himself between them to prevent any more hugs from happening. “Do you three have a ride?” He ignored the way Date scoffed beside him.

“Yeah, I’m driving them home,” Rhovan supplied, happy to spend time with Rae even if they had two tag-alongs.

“You guys were awesome, I really thought you would win,” Raemina was standing as close to Rhovan as she could while still allowing Nyima to use her as a human shield from the oh-so-scary boys in front of them. “You should have won,” she amended when she saw their moods darken. “We all know you would have if the judges were different, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Salem didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “You guys should get out of here before it gets too late.”  

Agreeing that it was time to get the girls home, Rhovan left with the three of them in tow. Date made to follow and head to his own car but Salem stopped him with an arm across his chest and didn’t remove it until Rhovan was down the road and around the corner.

“Now you can go,” Salem remarked, opening his car door and sliding into the driver’s seat.

“What did you think I was going to kidnap your sister if I left at the same time they did?” Date knew the only reason he was detained was because Salem wanted to make sure he didn’t try to give Vyxen a ride. It was a fair call though, since that was exactly what he had intended to do.

“You can never be too sure,” Salem would sooner die than let Date give Vyxen a ride in or on anything.

Xyl just sighed. Before he could open the passenger side door of Salem’s car, Imogen walked out into the parking lot. She scowled when she caught sight of him. 

“I thought Nayidh was coming to pick us up? Wait, where is Rhoe?” she all but demanded.

Her brother shrugged. “I think Cowan was giving her a ride back, I haven’t seen them since we went on stage. And I haven’t texted her, she probably went to bed.”

“Figures.” She knew she should have taken Zercey up on her offer to get a lift home, this was what she got for trusting her brother would actually remember to do something right for once.

Salem, perking up at the sound of Imogen’s voice, stepped back out from behind the steering wheel. Imogen stilled, not having realized it was his car Xyl had been about to get into. “I’m actually headed over to your place if you need a ride,” he said.

Date smirked. He had been about to head to his own car, but this was too good of a moment to pass up. 

“Uh, sure. I guess.” She walked towards the car and Salem hurried to open the door for her. Flustered, Imogen muttered a “Thanks,” before settling in. His hand brushed hers for a fraction of a second and she looked up to see him smiling at her. 

Xyl missed the tense exchange between his sister and his friend as he said his goodbye to Date. Watching Salem gingerly close the door behind her, Date chuckled. “Have fun tonight, Xyl,” he said as he walked away, feathers blowing gently in the breeze.

~*~*~

Scyanatha and Seth vanished soon after the pictures and interviews for the school newspaper were finished -- no doubt to celebrate his win in the most obscene way they could think of -- and with Imogen getting a ride back with her aunt that left Zercey on her own with Lerki. 

“You can’t ignore me forever,” Lerki’s voice sounded from behind Zercey as she stalked across the parking lot towards her car, very intent on doing just that. When she didn’t say anything he sighed and gently grabbed her arm, tightening his grip a bit when she tried to yank away. “Come on Zerce, give me a chance? I’m sorry I made you mad and I have a surprise for you to make up for it.”

Zercey stopped, she could feel her resolve cracking it the same way it always did when he apologized. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew he was worthless and that she should move on but dangit, he had a weird effect on her that she couldn’t seem to shake off.

Sensing his opportunity, Lerki moved closer and pressed himself against her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning down to kiss her neck. “Please?” he begged again, only just resisting the urge to punch the air in victory when he heard her sigh in defeat.

“Fine!” she snapped, allowing him to pull her towards his car. “But your surprise better be amazing or I’m gonna punch you.” Zercey had intended the car ride to be tense, wanting to keep him on his toes and make him grovel for her forgiveness, but one of his hands touched her knee and moved upwards and she broke. He was good at what he did and he knew how to get her where he wanted her. It was annoying, but not annoying enough to keep her from enjoying herself. “Don’t stop,” she all but begged, grabbing his hand when he pulled it away.

“Nope!” Lerki pulled his hand away again and hopped out of the car before she could convince him to continue. Seth had paid good money for this surprise and he wasn’t going to waste it. They could always pick up where they left off afterwards.

Repressing a sigh, Zercey followed him out of the car and towards the boardwalk. Just before her feet hit the sand, he turned back to look at her. 

“Close your eyes,” Lerki said with a smile. He took her hand in his and led the way towards the water. 

The sound of the waves crashing into the shore and the feel of the smooth, cool sand beneath her toes added to Zercey’s anticipation. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“You’ll see.” Finally, they came to a stop and she felt Lerki move beside her. “You can open your eyes now,” he breathed into her ear, sending a shudder down her spine. 

Zercey gasped. Before her sat over a dozen lanterns, each with pretty floral designs on them and laid out in the perfect shape of a heart. In the center, the words ‘will you go to the dance with me?’ were spelled out in red and pink rose petals and before Zercey even got to process that, something slightly heavy was fastened around her neck and she looked down to see Lerki’s class ring hanging from a pretty silver chain.

“I figured it was too big for you to wear normally,” he explained, wrapping his arms around her from behind, “but it still looks good on you and this way, everyone will know we’re together.” She’d been yelling at him to make their relationship official for months and he couldn’t think of anything more official than this.

Zercey turned around to look into Lerki’s indigo eyes and fixed him with the sultriest gaze she could. “Is that it, or does this surprise include something else?”

He brought his mouth to hers hungrily and then moved his lips down her jawline, then her neck and collarbone. She held his shirt tightly in her fists, pawing at his back as he did so. Zercey didn’t remember how long until they finally made it down to the sand or when they decided to do away with modesty altogether. 

Long after Lerki gave her a final kiss goodnight and she was behind her own steering wheel to drive home, she realized she had left her Victoria’s Secret bra back on the beach.

By @guardians-of-las-vyxen & @yogiwithabook

[skeletonscribbles]

Everything Stays

as promised, an Adventure Time AU! I’ve loved doing this so much.

Pairing: Reddie (as Bubbline/GumLee, for AT folk)

Rating: T

Warnings: breakup discussion, Stan as the Lumpy Space Prince

Other: this is, again, an Adventure Time AU, so if something doesn’t make sense, it’s probably on purpose.

Songs Included: I’m Just Your Problem Slow Dance With You Everything Stays (referenced, but not sung)

Read on Ao3

Tag List: @imrichie​ @mirandonsky​ @lilgeorgie​ @aizeninlefox​ @astronauticallygay​ @callme-eds​ @reddie-boi​  (image from AT comics - Spooktacular 2017)

Being undead was boring as shit.

Richie Tozier had been a vampire for a solid millenium - and heir to the vampire throne, at that; a king of the domain, and as such, he thought it was pretty safe to say that he’d done just about everything there was to do at this point.

In fact, most of the stuff that was happening around him he’d already seen happen, once upon a time. Kingdoms fell what felt like every damn day, adventures came and went. Human travelers passed through the land of Ooo thinking they’d be heroes, and some of them were. Bowers stayed up to his Ice King tricks, and his penguin Patrick, nee Orgalorg, pretended to give a shit. The Candy Kingdom continued to grow, and Lumpy Space continued to be the most bizarre realm in a world full of bizarre realms, and Richie’s father came and went from the Nightosphere intermittently, and for the most part, Richie was left alone to play music in his little cottage and reflect on the fact that his day-to-day felt like a series of re-runs rather than new episodes.

It was...lonely as shit, if Richie was being really honest with himself (not that he was in the business of doing that, but still) and he really had no fucking idea how to make do - especially given that he was overly aware of the fact that everyone he talked to was going to die before he was.

(Well. There were exceptions to that, but…that didn’t bear thinking about.)

(Most of the exceptions left after a while, too - just...differently, in a way that hurt more because it was a choice.)

(But again - that didn’t bear thinking about.)

In spite of all that, he’d managed to connect pretty well with the human hero of the moment. The kid’s name was Bill, and Richie liked his hair, and his tenacity, and how scared of Richie he was sometimes. It was good when the heroes were a little scared of him. The ones that weren’t were usually stupid.

He’d blown down around to Bill’s treehouse on this particular day because he didn’t have anywhere else to be, like most days, and because he was kind of trying to avoid thinking about his dad, like most days...but mostly because he had somewhere else to potentially be that night that was making him a little nervous. (That part wasn’t like most days, but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before so he could pretend to pass it off as mundane.) He’d quietly been hoping that Bill would be planning some great adventure that Richie could hitch on to, because that was what Bill was usually doing, but today, Bill was inside on the couch playing video games with his magical dog, Ben. Ben’s Rainicorn girlfriend, Beverly, was coiled at the foot of the couch, and their game system MiKE (Richie assumed that was an acronym of some kind, but he really didn’t care enough to find out what the letters stood for) was patiently leaning up against the television with two controllers plugged in where his arms usually were.

It would be easy for Richie to leave; to fuck off and jam with some of the nastier creatures out on the outskirts of Ooo, or cause trouble for some Princess or Kingdom or something. It would be easy to leave these mortal kids alone - to not get attached to them and instead laugh from a distance as they tripped their way through video game levels and quests and idiot romances until they died.

Unfortunately, he’d outgrown easy centuries ago.

“Hey dudes,” he greeted, floating in through a window that Bill had carelessly left half-open. “Suh Bevvie.”

Bill and Ben jumped, obviously caught off guard by Richie’s sudden entrance. It was a miracle that no monster had crept up on them and killed them yet - they had little by way of sensory instincts. Bev, on the other hand, knew that Richie was coming - she lifted her head slightly and made unimpressed eye contact with him, which meant that she was the first one he approached.

“Missed you, baby,” he said, and found that he meant it. Bev was a pretty unique little Rainicorn, and she and Richie had known each other for long enough that they’d seen each other through some pretty tough shit. The two of them had a similar way of going about things, which was cool - except that now she’d gone and done the whole relationship thing and he was...not about that life, anymore.

She responded with a cheeky joke about his mother in her native Rainicorn language, and he chuckled, settling down on the couch next to Ben.

“Tell me what it m-means,” he could hear Bill hissing - the idiot kid still hadn’t picked up any Rainicorn, in spite of the fact that Bev was always around.

“I will not,” Ben whispered back gleefully.

“So is this what we’re doing today?” Richie interrupted, gesturing to MiKE, who was wiggling the controller wires around. They were getting crazy tangled, which was kind of awesome.

“I mean,” Bill shrugged, scooting forward on the couch so he could look at Richie properly. His hat had slid down and was almost covering his eyes - Richie could see a little bit of his red hair falling out of the back of it, near the nape of his neck. “No one’s c-called for help, and all the Princes and P-p-princesses seem fine, so. I think the Ice K-king isn’t due to strike until like, tuh-two days from now. Usually takes him about that l-l-long to put together a stupid p-plan.”

“Yeah, that does seem about right.” Richie stretched himself out on the couch so that his legs were over Ben’s lap. Ben shoved at him uselessly, and Richie thought about moving, but the only other option for his legs was to stick them on top of Beverly or levitate them, and he wasn’t keen on either of those options so...Ben was going to have to deal. “Still pretty lame, though.”

Richie had expected Bill to react to that - to jump up and declare that he wasn’t lame, and instigate some quest or whatever, but instead, Bill slumped further down into the couch. “L-lame, huh?”

“Yeah. Lame.” Richie crossed his arms over his chest incredulously. “What the fuck is going on with you, man?”

Robotically, Bill slid off of the couch and stood up, abandoning his controller on the floor. MiKE immediately started banging it against the wall. “Do any of you wuh-want ice c-cream? Rich, I don’t think we have stuh-strawberry, but I can ch-ch-check.”

Richie rolled his eyes. No way a little pint of strawberry ice cream could quell even a little bit of his hunger - he’d have to suck the red out of something way bigger than that for it to be noticeable to his body. Luckily, he’d eaten before he came.

“I’m good, don’t worry.”

Bill gave a semi-satisfied little nod and headed towards the kitchen.

Ben turned himself on the couch to face Richie. His expression was skeptical. “Are you good, though? You’re weird today, dude.”

Richie made a show of rolling his eyes. “I’m always weird. It runs in my family.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ben swatted at Richie’s leg. At Richie’s feet, Bev had turned herself around, and was watching the two of them with interest. “Blah blah blah Nightosphere, blah blah Wentworth Tozier. Is he why you’re trying to get us to do something crazy?”

“Nah. Went’s not gonna be around for a while. Nightosphere’s a pretty crazy place to be in charge of. Got his hands way full.”

In fact, Richie had been approached by his father rather recently to potentially take over the Nightosphere biz, but Richie’d shut that down pretty immediately. Ooo was his home - it always had been, and it always would be. The Nightosphere sucked. Demons were dumb and super shitty.

“Did Ashlee come back?” Bev asked in Rainicorn, eyes wide with concern.

“NO. Glob, no. Ashlee knows better than to show her dumb face around here,” Richie scoffed, shuddering a little bit at the mention of his ex-girlfriend. He’d made a metric fuckton of mistakes over the course of his life - he was 1000 years old, after all - and Ashlee still qualified as one of the worst. Fucking bitch.

“Did you not get invited to the ball at the Candy Kingdom tonight?” Ben asked quietly.

If any of them noticed the way that Richie tensed at that, none of them said anything.

“Yeah, no, I got invited,” Richie finally said, tugging at the hem of his plaid flannel. “I’m fine. What’s up with Bill, though? He’s all up in his ice cream sads, huh?”

Bev and Ben let out simultaneous loud groans, and Mike giggled chirpily, wiggling his wire arms as best he could given how tangled they now were.

“You know Audra Phillips?” Bev asked, the natural cheeriness of the Rainicorn language undercut with annoyance. “Flame Princess?”

“Yeah, and you also know how Bill’s a sucker for royalty? Like, major heart-eyes?” Ben added, voice flat. “Well. Fill in the blanks.”

Richie was very capable of connecting the dots with this one, namely that Bill had probably asked Audra to the Candy Kingdom Ball and been rejected (and even if she did like him, he shouldn’t have expected her to go to that, given the relatively low melting points for most types of candy), but that wasn’t the part of Ben’s series of questions that stuck with him.

“Bill’s never had heart-eyes for me,” Richie pointed out sourly. “I’m the Vampire King, remember? Fuck all those useless Princesses.”

“And Princes,” Bev reminded him pointedly.

Richie sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. “And...Princes. Whatever. What gives, Ben?”

Ben’s horrified expression was nothing short of hilarious. “Do you….do you like Bill?”

Richie’s howling laugh at that could probably be heard from kingdoms away. Surprisingly (or really...not, knowing Bill), Bill didn’t so much as pop his head back in from the kitchen.

“Oh my fucking glob. NO, Ben, that’s the craziest idea you’ve ever had.” Richie shook his head vigorously, entirely bemused. His curls were in his eyes, now, but he didn’t really care. “Nah, I’m not about that...I just felt left out of Bill’s whole schtick, ya know? You know me - dramatic as shit, as per usual.”

Ben stared at him for another long moment, and after a while, Richie felt rather than saw Bev’s head turn towards him too. He swallowed hard and looked at MiKE...and was not heartened to see that Mike was facing his general direction. Not that there was any way to tell if MiKE was really actually looking at you, but facing front was bad enough.

“Listen--” Richie began, but Ben cut him off.

“Have you ever been in love, Richie?” Ben asked, eyes searching Richie’s face in a way that felt borderline invasive.

The question was enough to get Richie up and out of his seat. He levitated away from the couch a little bit, reeling - where did that come from?

“Why?” Richie asked, defensive.

“Just thinking about it,” Ben said, shrugging. “You talk a big game, but I’ve never seen you with anyone. Meanwhile, Bill’s got like...his royal family member significant other of the week.”

Richie flipped himself a little bit in the air, shielding his face so he wouldn’t give himself away as he thought about whether or not to actually tell Ben the truth.

On the one hand, what of the truth could Ben possibly understand? Ben was a savvy creature, but mortals didn’t know dip about what it meant to see important people rise and fall and die and die and die, and even the savviest creatures were, ultimately, mortal. Ben also wasn’t half demon, hadn’t been bitten by a Vampire King, hadn’t survived nuclear craziness, didn’t have the people around him leaving or losing their goddamn minds all the frigging time. No part of Richie’s story was relatable to Ben at all.

Well. Well, actually.

If Richie went with the simplest possible answer...that would probably be relatable to Ben.

“Once,” Richie said slowly, turning lazily over so that he was completely upside-down. “I was in love once.”

The answer seemed to surprise Ben. It didn’t surprise Bev at all - and Richie had a feeling it wouldn’t, given all of the things that Bev knew about him. MiKE remained neutral, as far as Richie could tell.

“Oh,” Ben finally said. “Dude. What happened? Did she die?”

“Nah.” Richie slid his hands into his pockets and concentrated on keeping a straight face.”I just wasn’t good enough for ‘em, I think, when all was said and done.”

Ben’s expression darkened. “Richie, no--”

“That sounds like how Bill used to feel sometimes,” Bev chimed in. There was a dark, knowing look in her eyes, and Richie narrowed his eyes in immediate distrust. “About the Candy Prince.”

The last two words of Bev’s sentence echoed around in Richie’s brain like bells, and he ran his tongue over his fangs in an attempt to stave off the ugly feeling curling up in his chest. Candy Prince, Candy Prince, Candy Prince….

“Bill and the Candy Prince, huh?” he choked out, forcing a smile on to his face. “Eds did always have terrible taste in men.”

Richie regretted his giant mouth immediately after finishing his sentence. He knew what word Ben would zero in on. That one syllable had some eight hundred years of history jam packed into it, there was no way that no one was going to say anything--

“Eds?” Ben asked, realization lighting up his face, and it was all Richie could do not to groan.

“I’m not going to the Ball tonight,” Richie said loudly, glaring pointedly between Bev and Ben. “He invites me every time, but I never go. I can’t go.”

“Richie,” Ben began sadly, at the same time that Bev sighed out a “Honey, it’s been three hundred years, for Glob’s sake.” Both of them were cut off, however, by Bill’s abrupt return to the room. He was holding two ice cream bowls in front of him and looking more than a little lost.

“Oh. Uh. Wh-what’s up, f-f-folks?” he asked warily, looking between all of them. Only MiKE smiled back up at him.

To Richie’s relief, Ben didn’t seem to be in the business of tattling or telling stories. “Is that for me?” Ben asked without missing a beat, pointing to the second bowl of ice cream in Bill’s hand.

“Oh. Yeah.” Bill offered him the ice cream absently. “And for Bev too, if she wants.”

“Thanks, bud.” Ben grabbed his bowl appreciatively and slid down to sit next to Bev. Bill had forgotten to give them two spoons, but that didn’t seem to be a problem - Bev immediately began licking at the bowl.

They sat in silence for a moment. MiKE began trying to disentangle his controller wire arms, but he was clearly only making the problem worse.

“So Flame Kingdom,” Richie tried, but fortunately, he didn’t have to continue down that weak conversational path. He was interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

“Who is it?” Bill called loudly, setting his ice cream down on an end table and picking up his sword from where it lay sheathed by the door.

“It’s me,” a voice outside snapped, and there was no mistaking that cadence. Richie brightened and floated towards the door. “Open the flip up, I need to ask you something.”

Bill sighed and reached for the doorknob, but Richie beat him to it. He flung open the door, and was delighted to find that he’d smacked poor Prince Stanley right in the face with it.

“If it isn’t the Prince of Lumpy Space,” Richie greeted, cackling quietly as Stan muttered curses whilst dusting himself off. “What’s good, Stanny?”

“Nothing,” Stan spat. “I came here to show you all my outfit and now it’s DIRTY.”

“You came all the way from Lumpy Space to show us the same outfit that you always wear to parties?” Richie asked, feeling light for the first time since he’d gotten the invitation to that stupid ball in the mail. “Nerd.”

Stan yelled something incomprehensible back at him - Richie was pretty sure he heard the words “glob” and “flip” at least five times each and the phrase “your mom” at least once - and Richie gave one final shrieking laugh before folding himself up into his bat form and taking off into the trees.

It didn’t matter that he hadn’t said goodbye. He wasn’t good at that...and they were just mortals, anyway, it was no big thing whether they were mad at him or not.

Besides, he’d been left by choice before. He’d bled all of the hurt out of that particular Bad Thing, hadn’t he?

...hadn’t he?

---

Richie hadn’t had a heartbeat in centuries, but he could have sworn that he felt phantom pressure in his ears and chest and arms when he got home. His whole house felt too big, somehow, like it was gonna swallow him whole.

He knew why. He knew why and he was pissed.

Why had he said all that shit to Ben and Bev?

He let out a frustrated groan and kicked open the door to his little cottage, floating straight across the front room to where he’d tossed his bass the night before after a long and ultimately fruitless jam session with himself. It was always fruitless when he was by himself. He just got stuck on the same words and chords over and over...and wasn’t that just his life?

Frowning, he strummed loosely at the strings. His E string was a little bit out of tune, but he wasn’t in the mood to fuss around and fix it. It seemed fitting that everything would be a little bit off today, anyway.

His hands began to move of their own accord - muscle memory was strong, and Richie’s hands had wanted to play the same damn love song for the past three hundred years or so. It wasn’t the song that Richie’s brain wanted to play, but that had never stopped his traitor hands - no, they slipped back into the same stupid sappy chord progression every time.

Cursing under his breath, Richie adjusted and tried to put the muscle memory song out of mind. He chose harsher, angrier chords, and began to play.

“Well I shouldn’t have to justify things I do,” he sang loudly, spiteful as he flipped over and around erratically, “and I shouldn’t have to prove anything to you…”

If he showed up to the ball tonight, the whole Candy Kingdom would probably have a fucking heart attack. The goddamn Banana Guards would be on his ass in seconds, kicking him right the fuck out, even though he was technically invited because royalty or politeness or whatever lame-ass excuse Eds was using this time.

Well...no. Not Eds, but rather - His Majesty Prince Edward K. Bubblegum. Eds was someone else’s name - the name of someone Richie had loved a long time ago.

Edward K. Bubblegum was a stranger.

Heck, Bubblegum would probably be leading the mob against him if he showed at the party, all things considered. The Candy Prince hated when things got out of control, and Richie was the epitome of wild and free. Never mind that there was no precedent - never mind that Richie hadn’t wrecked a Candy Kingdom ball before because he knew how important they were to the Prince, never mind any of that. Bubblegum would be on the warpath the minute Richie materialized, no matter what.

“I’m sorry that I exist, I forget what landed me on your blacklist…” Richie continued, scowling as he spiraled further and further into his thoughts. It was true - he didn’t know what he had done to make Bubblegum so hostile. He didn’t remember doing anything at all.

Most of what he remembered from the drawn out period in which it all fell apart was the feeling of it - the despair, the return to crushing loneliness. He’d been left before at that point, but everyone else that had ditched him had reasons that Richie could understand: Bowers had lost his mind, his dad had always been more attached to the Nightosphere than to anything in Ooo, Richie included, and all his mortal friends were, well...mortal.

Eds was different. He never gave a reason for drifting away, and there was no obvious answer to why things were changing so rapidly. It felt like one day, Richie had gone to bed with his Eds - his brave, smart, funny, caring Eds, and the next, he awoke to find Bubblegum, who he didn’t know and didn’t care for. It was Bubblegum that bid Richie adieu, finally, with a brisk sweep of his arm and an excuse or twelve about the kingdom; it was Bubblegum that now sent Richie invitations to events because the two of them were supposedly “amicable” and then balked when Richie actually showed up.

Richie had his suspicions about what had happened to transform Eddie. Virtually all of said suspicions involved Richie being at fault or lacking in some way. Needless to say, the whole thing - the whole relationship process, the whole breakup -  hadn’t been awesome for his ego.

“And I shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you,” Richie sang angrily, closing his eyes and sinking to the ground. The breakup hadn’t been awesome for his ego, it hadn’t been awesome for any part of him at all, it had sucked, sucked, sucked - and it STILL sucked, right up to this very minute. Just because his heart didn’t beat didn’t mean that it didn’t work, on some fucked up level.

And yet…

“So why do I want to?” Richie’s hands were back to those soft, shitty muscle memory chords, and his voice was almost a whisper.

Glob, he hated feelings.

“Why do I want to…”

The pathetic post-breakup song his hands had been itching to play was bursting out of him, now. He gave up on his anger and let the sadness pour out. It was a day for moping. Bill was moping - Richie could mope, too.

“Slow dance with you, I just wanna--”

He was interrupted by a brisk knock on his door. Frowning, he set his bass down and floated over to a window, trying to parse out who it was. Had Bill and Ben come after him? Had Stan followed him to yell some more? Or maybe it was some groupie that had hunted down his house after last night’s show. He hoped it was the last option. He wasn’t above draining red from groupies, and he could use a snack - it had been a couple of hours since his last meal.

He couldn’t tell who it was from the window. They were too small, or possibly standing too close to the door, or both. Sighing, he reluctantly made his way over to open the door.

“What the fuck do you want?” he asked glumly, swinging the door open and fully expecting to be greeted with Ben, Bill, and Bev’s exasperated faces.

Instead, he found himself staring blankly out at the Candy Prince himself.

“Oh,” Richie said, “it’s you.”

Bubblegum was looking very...Bubblegum on this particular outing. He was decked head to toe in royal formal wear (all pink, of course, save for his small golden crown) and his mouth was drawn into a tight little line. His soft hair was slicked fiercely back into a little pompadour, and the overall effect was very princely - not very Eds.

The stranger with Eddie’s eyes held out a pint of strawberry ice cream towards Richie.

“Bill and Ben asked me to deliver this to you,” he said flatly, looking at the item without any interest. “They said you’d forgotten it at their treehouse, and that it was urgent.”

Richie couldn’t help but roll his eyes. This was absolutely Ben’s idea. Ben loved to meddle.

“And you agreed to do it?” Richie couldn’t help but bait the Prince a little bit. He was so easy to piss off - and that had been true even before he was Bubblegum, back when he had been Eds and able to laugh at himself a little. “What are you, their messenger boy? Don’t you have a ball to prepare for?”

Bubblegum flushed pink. “I always have time to do a favor for a friend.”

“Oh, and you and Bill are really good friends now, huh?” Richie knew he was toeing the line with his next set of comments, but it was all just kind of falling out of his mouth - Glob only knew where his filter had gone, or if he’d ever really had a filter at all. “You’d have to be, in order for him to convince you to come find me. You wouldn’t be caught dead here otherwise.”

“That’s not true,” Bubblegum lied, eyes narrowing. “Don’t assume things about me, Richie. There’s a lot you don’t know now.”

“And whose fault is that?” Richie asked cooly, crossing his arms over his chest and hovering a little bit so that Bubblegum would have to crane his neck to look up at him. He had quite a bit of height on the Prince as it was, so the extra few inches he gave himself by floating meant that he pretty literally had the upper hand on the situation, so to speak.

Bubblegum didn’t seem to have an answer to that question. In fact, his shoulders deflated a little bit, and he looked down at his shiny pink boots instead of up at Richie’s face.

“Ben said that you’d asked for me, that you had something to tell me,” Bubblegum said, and even his voice was lacking in Bubblegum quality now. It was quiet, and had fallen out of its usual princely cadence. “That’s why I’m here. You’re right. I probably wouldn’t have gone if it was just to give you this stupid ice cream that I know you don’t even want.”

Richie slowly sank back down to the ground - not because he was ceding anything to the Prince, but rather to make sure that he was firmly attached to something, because if he wasn’t, even he wasn’t sure what he might do or say.

“I like strawberry,” he offered carefully.

“Yeah, I know. It’s your favorite. ‘Just enough red’, you used to say.”

When the Prince finally lifted his eyes to meet Richie’s, there was so little of Bubblegum in them that Richie almost felt nauseous. It had been so many years since he’d seen Eddie’s face for real that he’d almost forgotten what it looked like.

“Yeah, you never forget anything, do you,” Richie said, twisting his mouth halfway up into a smile he wasn’t sure he wanted to give. “Eds.”

Eddie flinched, but to his credit, maintained eye contact.

“That was never my name, Richie, and you know it.”

They stood in abject silence for a solid minute and a half, just looking at each other. Richie wasn’t big on silence, usually, but he had nothing with which to break this one. He did and didn’t want Eddie to leave in equal parts, which meant that no matter what he said or what option Eddie chose to take, Richie was going to lose.

Finally, Eddie spoke back up - or Bubblegum, maybe, Richie couldn’t tell exactly which personality the Prince was choosing to adopt in that moment.

“Well, if you don’t actually have anything to tell me, I’ll just put this in the freezer and go. Can I come in for a second? You didn’t move the fridge, right?” Eddie peered around Richie and wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Glob, you haven’t moved anything since the last time I was here, have you? Not even your old clothes! It’s been….how long has it been?”

“Three hundred and twenty three years, four-ish hours and some-odd minutes,” Richie responded neatly. “Also, you’re supposed to wait until I invite you in, your Majesty.”

“Majesty is for Kings, Highness is for Princes, Richie, you are the only one in all of Ooo that forgets that, I swear to Glob. And I’m not a vampire, not all of us are vampires, so…” Eddie (he was pretty sure it was still Eddie) pushed past Richie and into his front room, hunting for the fridge. “It is disgusting as fuck in here, Richie, seriously.”

Richie rolled his eyes and situated himself on the couch to watch Eddie’s frantic search. “Language, Bubblegum Boy. You talk to your subjects with that mouth?”

“Where the fuck is your fridge, Richie?” Eddie snapped, glaring at him with all the venom he could muster (which had never been much).

“It’s not here,” Richie admitted, “you’re wasting your time. I donated it to Bill and Ben’s treehouse. Didn’t really need it for myself, so.”

Eddie responded by throwing the pint of ice cream directly at him. It was melted enough that the lid came off midway through its airborne arc, and as such, most of the ice cream ended up spilling down Richie’s front.

Richie knew that he should be mad about that, but instead, he just felt...tired.

Eddie, for his part, looked like he’d frozen solid. His eyes were glued to the ice cream dripping down Richie’s red flannel, and his horrified expression seemed to be etched in stone across his face.

“I’m so sorry,” Eddie said, and his voice was small and Bubblegum-less again.

It’s whatever, Richie wanted to say, it’s fine, it’s not like we haven’t made a mess before, it’s not like we aren’t a mess now, no matter how much you’ve been trying to pretend that you have no messes there’s always gonna be me--

“What did you think I was gonna tell you?” he heard himself ask instead. “When Ben said I wanted to say something to you...what did you think I had in mind? Obviously you were hoping for something in coming over here. You’d have skipped out if you thought I was gonna be a dick.”

“You’re always a dick,” Eddie countered, and the banter was so familiar it just about stung, but then Eddie’s shoulders were slumping again, and he was crossing over to sit next to Richie on the couch. “But. I….dunno. Something about the Ball, maybe.”

Richie made a face at Eddie and reached for a nearby article of clothing to begin wiping the ice cream off of himself. It was a little bit embarrassing that it so happened that he’d picked up his black bat boxers, but that was the way this day was gonna go, it seemed.

“You don’t want me at your stupid Ball.”

Eddie turned quickly towards Richie, and Richie almost laughed at the genuine surprise on Eddie’s face. It was equal parts hilarious and adorable, and -

No, no. Adorable was a dangerous path. Best not to start with that.

“Why would I invite you if I didn’t want you to come?”

“Politeness,” Richie guessed, counting off different excuses on his fingers. “Propriety, or whatever the fuck. Some misplaced sense of duty, maybe.”

Eddie shook his head in amazement. “No. I invite you to things because I want to see you. That’s all.”

Richie knew that Eddie was trying to make him feel better, but the whole thing felt forced, and Richie wasn’t falling for it. “You don’t want to see me, Kid Kaspbrak. If you wanted to see me, you wouldn’t have left.”

Eddie groaned softly and curled up on himself on the couch. “The citizens of the Candy Kingdom still don’t know what the K. in Edward K. Bubblegum stands for. They’d be so disappointed to find out that it’s just a bizarro jumble of letters. Most of them think it stands for ‘king’ or ‘cupcake’ or something.”

“Cupcake starts with a ‘c’,” Richie pointed out.

Eddie smiled thinly. “The Candy citizens aren’t always the brightest bunch. I can’t complain, though. I made ‘em.”

“Your mom made them,” Richie corrected, re-examining his shirt for remaining ice cream globs. “Miss her, by the way. She’ll always be my number one gal.”

The mention of his mom had shaken Eddie a little bit. When Richie looked back over, he was sitting ramrod straight on the couch - more Bubblegum than Eddie once again.

“I don’t rule the way my mom did,” Eddie said stiffly.

“I know,” Richie assured him. “You’re a great ruler, idiot. It’s the only thing you love, so I guess you have to be.”

The word ‘love’ brought Eddie back down into himself.

“What?”

Richie shrugged, trying to feign disinterest. He’d been waiting so fucking long to have this conversation - he didn’t want to blow it by losing his temper, even though he was so sorely tempted to yell that he could...well, yell. Instead, he focused his energy on getting up from the couch and trying to locate a shirt to change into. The flannel was going to stink of sour dairy sooner rather than later.

“I said that ruling’s what you love, sweetheart. It’s what you do best - it’s literally what you were formed to do, what your mom made you for. It’s a good fucking thing she made you to be better than her, too - best thing she ever did, in my humble opinion-”

“My mom made me to rule, yeah,” Eddie said, and he was doing a way worse job of keeping his cool than Richie was; his face was hot pink and his fists were clenched. Richie kind of wanted to gloat about that, but the moment wasn’t right, so he kept his mouth shut. “But I’m not just the thing she created, Richie, you know that. Or...I thought you knew that. That’s why I…”

He ducked his head back down into his chest, unable to finish the sentence. For an awful moment, Richie was absolutely sure that he was going to go full Bubblegum, march out, and not speak to Richie again for another three hundred years, but he didn’t move. He just stayed that way - folded over on the couch.

“That’s why you snuck me into your room when your mom wasn’t looking, yeah?” Richie asked, taking pains to keep malice out of his voice for once in his damn life. He located a clean-ish t-shirt and slowly lifted it up into his hands. “That’s why you used me to rebel against her, because you knew I saw you differently, right? And then you left once you got what you needed.”

“I didn’t want you because I was rebelling,” Eddie said into his hands. “I was rebelling because I wanted you.”

For once, Richie found himself without a snappy retort. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but nothing would come out - he had honestly not ever expected to hear Eddie say those words.

“I left you,” Eddie continued, stretching out his words like they were immensely difficult to say, “because my mom was dying, and I needed to be a better ruler than she was, and I couldn’t do that when the whole kingdom was sore over my mom’s dealings with the Nightosphere and I was in love with the son of the guy that ran the damn place.”

Richie found himself grateful that his heart didn’t beat any more, because if it were still ticking, he was sure it would have stopped and killed him outright upon hearing the word ‘love’ pass through Eddie Kaspbrak Bubblegum’s lips.

“You loved that dumbass, huh?” he asked, floating over to where Eddie was sitting on the couch. Eddie didn’t look at Richie’s face right away, but instead settled his eyes on the t-shirt in his hands.

Richie was surprised to see a little smile make its way into the corners of Eddie’s mouth.

“I love that dumbass,” Eddie corrected softly, reaching out to touch the t-shirt. “I’ve tried to stop loving that dumbass, but I can’t, because he does stuff like...he sings love songs at his concerts and takes good care of Bill and keeps the shirts I got him and….” Eddie finally met Richie’s gaze, and his eyes were softer than they’d been in centuries. “You see what I’m saying.”

Richie looked down at the shirt and noticed for the first time that it was a concert tee from one of his early dates with Eddie. He’d snuck Eddie away from his mother and out to the forest, where they’d danced and shouted and swayed to the music of some knockoff demon band with the rest of the woodland spirits.

That Eddie was back in front of him now, but it didn’t seem right to ignore what had happened in between.

“Why haven’t we talked about this before now?” Richie asked slowly, sliding a hand up to cover Eddie’s on top of the shirt. “Why didn’t you explain this shit to me instead of just peacing out? It’s been a garbage couple of centuries trying to deal with the aftermath of all our stuff, and now I’m finding out that you could have just explained the situation right away? I mean, fuck, Eds, I thought there was a problem with me.”

“Yeah I, um,” Eddie laughed nervously, twisting the shirt a little in his hand. “I don’t have a good excuse for that. I really don’t. I thought...I don’t know what I thought you’d do. Undermine me or something, maybe. My mom was still so in my head, then...and I was hurting, too, and maybe I thought it would be easier to just...go? I don’t know. I made up a lot of stuff in that time. I still don’t know how much of it is real.”

“The Prince Bubblegum thing,” Richie told him, “that’s not real at all.”

Eddie nodded. “I know.”

“So why have you been pulling that fake shit with me?” Richie was full of questions, apparently - and Eddie was not being good about providing answers. Glob, he could have had things so nice and neat and tidy - Eddie had literally told him that he still loved him, for fuck’s sake -  and here he was, fucking around and ruining the whole thing. This was the kind of behavior that had kept his dad away all of those years, he was sure of it--

“You mean being mean to you when we’re with Bill and Ben?” Eddie was asking, and Richie was only half cognizant of his own responding nod. “I don’t really know about that either, Rich. It’s been my method of self-defense for a really long time. I just...I don’t...I’m really surprised you haven’t kicked me out yet. I’m so stupid. I should go.”

And just like that, Eddie was up off of the couch, brushing past Richie and rolling his shoulders back into their Bubblegum position.

“Probably don’t come tonight,” Eddie said, audibly burying the hurt in his own voice. “Sorry again about the ice cream.”

“Please don’t go again,” Richie cut in. He hadn’t meant to sound desperate, but he supposed that it wasn’t the most embarrassing thing that had happened to him that day. “Eddie, I...I don’t forgive you, not yet, anyway, and I know that’s probably a dick thing to say, but I mean it, so there it is. But. I also still love you, so.” Richie turned his eyes up towards the ceiling, mortified at his own bluntness and general stupidity. “Can I at least maybe go to your party tonight.”

Eddie stared back at him. “I won’t be allowed to dance with you in front of people.”

“It’s allowed if you say it’s allowed,” Richie said, silently begging Eddie to really, really hear him. “You know that, right?”

He could see that Eddie was fighting back the impulse to close off again, and he floated over to him, gripping him by the shoulders.

“Eds.”

“It starts at eight,” Eddie whispered, and then he was backing through the door and disappearing into the forest until he was just a dot of pink against blacks and blues.

Richie took a deep breath and looked again at the shirt in his hands.

He hoped he still owned formal wear.

----

It was a little weird for Richie to be feeling like he was doing something for the first time, but as he approached the ball, he found that he had no memory of ever doing something quite like this. In his whole thousand year existence, he’d never accepted an invitation from a Prince to a ball...let alone accepted an invitation from a Prince with whom he had romantic history.

It was kind of cool, all things considered. Sneaking into Stan’s parties in Lumpy Space had nothing on this. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so...not bored.

Maybe he still had some shit to experience, after all. Even if it was kind of also the same shit for a second time.

“Some things never change,” Bev had sighed when Richie had met her at the palace gates and filled her in on the day’s excitement.

“They change,” Richie had countered, fidgeting with the collar of the stuffy shirt he’d managed to dig out of his floor pile. “But they also stay the same, you know? Like when you leave something somewhere and it’s still there when you go back, but like - it’s melted or faded or something. Things can be both.”

They’d walked inside at that moment, and their presence was informally announced by the slam of the gigantic wooden palace doors behind them.

When the inhabitants of the Candy Kingdom got their first good look at Richie, they didn’t panic, much to Richie’s surprise. They just stood there, limp and wary, waiting for some crazy catastrophe to befall them. They were used to it, probably - Ooo had a new catastrophe every fucking day.

Eddie must have had his hands super full, Richie thought. Would there have been a place for me with him while he dealt with all that shit? Or would I have just gotten bored?

He could so easily imagine himself drifting away from the early Candy Kingdom - there had been so many problems and so much paperwork back then.

He found himself a little less angry about Eddie’s decision upon realizing that.

“It’s chill,” Richie called out to the Candy citizens, raising his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I don’t talk to my dad and I don’t vibe with demons. I just play music and crush on your Prince, that’s all. Carry on.”

Surprisingly, they did. As soon as Richie had finished his announcement, the Candy citizens were shrugging and mumbling and laughing to each other, and then the music was back on, and then it was like he wasn’t there at all - like he was just a normal dude that came to these parties all the time.

“So they’re okay with me having a crush on their Prince?” Richie asked Bev incredulously.

Bev laughed. “Yeah, because they all have a crush on him, too.”

“And they don’t care about the--” Richie began, and bared his fangs to indicate that he was referring to his father.

Bev clicked her tongue thoughtfully. “I think most of them have forgotten about how shitty things used to be with Sonia, honestly. Eddie’s paranoid about it still, but these guys aren’t exactly known for their terrific memories or brains in general. No one’s afraid of the Nightosphere anymore.”

Richie let out a long, obnoxious groan.

“Eddie,” he called, kicking himself off the ground and floating as fast as he could through the mazelike palace. “Eds, are you serious? We could have been - fuck, Eds, you have to be here, right, where--”

“I don’t know if he’ll come,” Richie heard Eddie’s voice - not Bubblegum’s voice, much to his delight, but Eddie’s -  say from around a corner, and he abruptly stopped in his tracks, wanting to hear out the rest of whatever this conversation was.

“Why w-wouldn’t he c-c-come?” The next voice that spoke was unmistakably Bill’s. There was no stutter quite like his anywhere else in Ooo.

Somebody sighed - Eddie, probably, or Ben if he was there, and then Eddie was mumbling. Richie thought he caught the words “complicated” and “history”, but he couldn’t be sure…

“They were in love, Bill,” Ben said loudly, and Eddie let out a loud shriek. Richie cackled quietly to himself, and decided to get a closer look at the situation. He screwed his eyes shut and concentrated, and was soon rewarded with a familiar cold water-esque sensation - he was turning invisible.

He floated out into the hallway and perched himself a little ways behind Eddie, who was clustered up against the wall with Ben, Bill, and MiKE (who looked very cute in a small, ill-fitting tuxedo), and clearly trying to keep things low profile.

“How did thuh-that happen?” Bill asked, bewildered. Eddie blushed a deep pink and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Richie’s dad and my mom used to do business, back in the day. Whenever Went Tozier was around, Richie would always be hovering somewhere, hoping that Went would come talk to him. Went never did...but I wanted to, I really wanted to, so one day…”

“One day I decided to pity the kid with the puppy dog eyes that was following me around and say hey to him. The rest of it, as they say, is ancient Ooo history.” Richie swooped in behind Eddie and materialized to tell his part of the story. Ben and Bill both almost fell backwards at his sudden appearance. Eddie didn’t flinch, but his shoulders were drawn tight.

“Ancient indeed,” he agreed, not turning to look at Richie at all. “I was what, four hundred? And you were five hundred?”

“Six hundred,” Richie corrected. “Had that radical age advantage.”

“Anyways,” Eddie continued, “I seem to remember you being really excited to meet me because, and I quote, ‘there aren’t that many people that don’t die around here, let alone cute people that don’t die’.”

“Like I said, ancient Ooo history,” Richie told Ben and Bill, who were listening with wide eyes. “But tonight is a new era, isn’t it, Eds?”

Eddie turned his head slowly up to look at Richie’s face, as if he needed to determine whether Richie was speaking in earnest. “You’ve seen the Candy People? They’re not afraid of you?”

“They don’t give a single shit,” Richie confirmed. “They trust that you’re gonna keep them safe, and, well, you invited me. So.”

“So,” Eddie repeated, jerking his head back down and twisting his lurid pink cape in his fingers.

“So we dance!” MiKE suggested, and Richie could have sworn that little guy hadn’t been paying attention at all, but he was all there now, and all smiles.

Who were they to begrudge him?

“So we dance,” Richie agreed, shooting Eddie a soft little smile. Eddie returned it gratefully, and Richie felt his chest twist a little at how new it was and also how familiar it was. Things had changed, but they were also the same.

“Dance with me?” Eddie asked, holding out his hand to Richie.

There was still a lot the two of them needed to talk about, but…

“Let’s tear it up, sweet thing,” Richie replied, feeling less dead than he had in a long, long time.

[mattelektras]

GIRL HEY I LOVE YOU and your blog and just all your marvel thoughts and opinions and your recs tag WOW you got me into comics like THANK YOU AND YOUR SOUL and so i am so curious to know like what are your issues with mcu? like everything i want to know EVERYTHING, every little detail that's bothered you to the shitty casting to the whitewashing to the lack of development LET ME HEAR IT PLEASE

OH HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE. pretty much all of this excludes black panther and ragnarok. nothing but respect for my mcu

it took them literally 10 years and like 20 movies to have anyone that wasn't a white man lead a solo film. like. that is a LONG ASS TIME

not to mention the straight people EVERYWHERE until valkyrie who they didn't SHOW is bi. trust only tessa thompson and taika watiti. let that be the lesson here

and the women and people of colour they DID have in their movies were done incredibly dirty like rhodey (who could absolutely have held a solo movie following iron man 2. or even 1 like. they just slipped in that he’s become a superhero n didn't do anything with it like... really????????) gets shot in the fuckin spine by that piece of shit robot. sharon was set up so well and now doesn't exist. mcu nat i dont even know where to begin

mcu maximoffs/dr strange/iron fist. the whitewashing trifecta. they went for the hatrick and they nailed it. thanks i hate it 

but with the maximoffs specifically like. GOD theyre bad. wendy has gone from ‘moves things with her mind’ (not wanda’s actual powers but whatevs we’ll get to that bit) to literally being able to destroy an infinity stone. she’s everything mr whedon wants in a female character. and mcu pietro??? a weak bitch. pietro maximoff would die of spite before he sacrificed himself for clint fucking barton

so many of the movies dont line up with one another like PLEASE marvel directors watch each other’s movies. the russos basically turned up at taika watiti’s house and told him to go fuck himself 

or just... hire good directors.... the russos fooled everyone into thinking they were good with cap 2 but what the ever loving fuck was civil war and infinity war

stop with the war shit no one likes superheroes vs superheroes

this is petty and i KNOW movies dont have to follow the comics like. i know that and sometimes its a very good thing, but with marvel they wanna take parts from the comics, sometimes GOOD parts and they wanna fuck it all up and force it to fit into their shitty narrative. like. civil war for example.. had a PURPOSE in comics. it was a genuine grey area and, well written, it could've been a nuanced scenario about how different types of people might have benefited or suffered from it (re: mutants etc). in the mcu, civil war was uuuuuh wendy blew up some people and she used to be a nazi but we’re all gonna defend her because im steve rogers and i do what the fuck i like regardless of literally everything else. 

they based the mcu on the ultimates universe???? TAKE THE GOOD BITS THEN!!!! like take miles morales instead of just giving peter his life and his friends 

get better actors jesus christ. just. better as people would be a start. ms substitute asian johansson and mr Gun Rights pratt. perish

the chris x3 jokes really arent endearing either. some of em have gotta go

please hire someone with real eyes for your costume department!!!!!! say what you like about dc movies, but they all WORK together. their suits have the same tone/materials/overall look. the avengers look like a bunch of people who have never met before 

speaking of, i physically cannot buy the ‘friendship’ the avengers supposedly have. they dont talk!!!!!! there’s too many of them to actually get any solid team development!!! you want me to believe thor even knows hawkeye’s real name??? he doesn't!! and he doesn't give a shit either!!

if you're gonna do a romantic relationship......... fucking stick with it or actually end it. steve/sharon could have been SO GOOD but where has that gone. nat/hulk was hideous and thank god it died but WHERE has it gone. 

not to mention the fact that gamora has literally shown no interest towards peter but she loves him in infinity war somehow

peggy carter is really NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!! people are still out here shittalking sharon, the LEADING CAP COMICS WOMAN, STEVE’S MAIN AND PRETTY MUCH SOLE LOVE INTEREST, because she's not peggy carter and she doesn't talk about girl power whilst wearing winged eyeliner. steve and peggy kissed once like if thats your standard for a life long relationship then im married to like 8 people i knew when i was 15

the general need marvel has to own all of their properties. homecoming was a good movie, but did we need it??? like really???? people have seen so many spider man movies but no one had seen a black panther or captain marvel movie and they both got shoved back to accommodate the 3rd peter parker ive seen in my lifetime

SPEAKING OF REPETITION.... snarky movies led by white men alongside a woman who is clearly more capable than they are but dont get any recognition for it are the same. the exact fucking same 

CAN POST CREDITS SCENES PLEASE DIE im not sitting around for 20 minutes waiting for something cool like a hint of a new hero only to see steve fucking rogers doing his ironing or some shit. if its not worth it, dont do it maybe 

the colour grading is ugly as sin. if it’s got some over saturated primary colours in it... its a marvel movie 

marvel movies are just.... straight up not funny at this point lmao like im not a 13 year old boy i dont find dick and whore jokes funny try again

‘it’ll kill you’ ‘only if i die’ ‘yes thats what killing you means’ is supposed to be funny and i get that but uuuuuh its just bad dialogue and there are so many lines like that. write a good fucking movie and then MAYBE you won't have to fill scenes with empty conversations to take up the time

fuck the mcu guardians of the galaxy, to put it finely. mcu peter is a dick and his altered back story makes him even more of a dick. drax isn't a dumbass, gamora would rather die than touch peter. mantis is a literal celestial goddess, not some old white dude’s sleep time therapist 

mostly what it comes down to with me though is that marvel literally does not have to make good movies. they can make any old shit and make literally millions of dollars. barely anyone gave a fuck about ant man or doctor strange, and if you didn't read comics, you likely wouldn't have even KNOWN who they were but everyone went to see them because they had marvel on the posters. and thats pretty much marvel’s entire deal. ALL they do is get credit for things they havent done 

oh and fuck vision too 

[intergalacticsheith]

i am literally so done with a lot of people in this fandom. idk if everyone is a klance shipper but literally all of the people that are hoping for shiro and adam to get back together and everyone shipping keith and james makes me sick. first of all yeah it sucks that adam probably dies/died but his relationship with shiro could not have ended worse. literally adam left shiro because he wasn’t feeling respected in his relationship and that’s totally understandable while shiro wasn’t willing to sacrifice his dreams for this man. SO HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK A HAPPY ENDING WITH THEM TOGETHER IS GOING TO HAPPEN I AM SO FULL OF RAGE THAT YALL ARE THAT STUPID AND IGNORANT. now don’t even get me started on keith and james. you guys are just trying to feed your hate-to-love kinks and that’s fine to like those kinds of relationships (lmao it shows with the majority of y’all being klance shippers lol) BUT JAMES LITERALLY BULLIED KEITH ABOUT HIS DEAD/NOWHERE TO BE SEEN PARENTS AND YOU THINK THAT THEY WOULD BE A CUTE COUPLE??? this ain’t no friendly rivalry shit like with klance. this is a legitimate bully that keith had to deal with at at the worst time in his life and you guys are getting off in this shit. another thing that is annoying me at the moment; everyone saying “this show literally depends on the fate of adam so y’all better not kill him” ok first of all everything is set in stone and whatever happens to adam is never going to change. literally if you would leave because of the death of a character that has barely been introduced then don’t fucking watch season 8 when it comes out i don’t think vld staff would miss you. (yes i know that adam is one of the two confirmed lgbtq reps on the show and i’m not mad at those who are hurt by the fact that they may kill off one of the only lgbtq characters i am mad at the fans that don’t want “the love of shiro’s life to die” those people can shut the fuck up) literally people who’ve seen the season already said he doesn’t have much screen time so he obviously isn’t as important to shiro’s or the show’s plot this season. he is there to help clarify shiro’s past (the actual rep on the show). as for that bitch james, they probably only put him in to show that keith could throw a fucking punch even when so smol :) again, we don’t fucking know anything about these characters other than that they were essentially antagonists to shiro and keith (i know not always in adams case, but towards the end, which was what vld decided to show of him but that’s just my one million cents)

update: people have told me that the keith and james ship was created as a sort of crack ship that is meant to spite klance shippers for shipping shiro and adam. i mean i know i am low key contradicting myself by saying that it joking doesn’t bother me all too much but oh well my brain is all over the place. to be VERY CLEAR my rant about the keith and james ship is towards those who are serious about thinking that they should/could be a couple before voltron ends. i mostly saw klance and multishippers make posts about it on the main tag and i fucking hate it. also i saw a post from a big sheith blog that i completely agreed with. it addressed how people were pressed about adam’s maybe death and those people saying “how could you kill one of your only lgbtq characters?” well sorry but just bc he may die or be dead doesn’t mean he stops being gay?? they wanted to kill shiro before but guess what he still would’ve been gay. just as he is still gay when he isn’t in a relationship. you guys (klancers mostly) are using adams maybe death to fuel your damn hate and it’s disgusting.

[xenosaurus]

Vermilion City Pokemon Shelter (chapter 1)

Rating: T Tags: animal shelter setting, original characters, lesbian protagonist, worldbuilding

also available on ao3!

By this point in her career, Marianne Joy has learned to be wary of calm.  It’s the same for the shelter as it was for the pokemon center her mother worked at when she was growing up-- if things seem relaxed, that means you’re either missing something or it’s about to get very loud.

After 45 minutes of paperwork with no noise except for her Nidoking’s gentle snoring, Marianne is ready for an interruption.

Right on schedule, the receptionist knocks on the door.  Marianne knows it’s Lilo even before the door opens-- she’s the only one in the office who knocks like she’s setting the beat for a song.

“Yeah, Lilo, you can come in,” Marianne calls back.  Her Nidoking, curled up in the enormous pokemon bed set up next to her desk, makes a snuffling sound and lifts his head in response to her voice.  Marianne gives him a quick pat between the spines.

Lilo hovers in the doorway to Marianne’s office, an apologetic look on her face.  She’s a short young woman, dark-skinned and pretty.  She’s wearing orange lipstick today, the exact same shade as the trim on her uniform.

“Sooo, we have a situation.” Lilo draws out the word ‘so’ like she’s trying to delay having to actually finish the sentence.

Marianne puts down the paperwork she was reading with a sigh.

“Pokemon situation or people situation?”

“People situation,” Lilo says, grimacing. “Mrs. Bernard is here again.”

Marianne mirrors the sentiment.  She’s heard stories about this one, and it must be serious if Lilo came for backup.

Marianne gets up from her desk, grabbing a clipboard from the rack on the way out of the room.  Her Nidoking watches her sleepily, before deciding the situation isn’t worth sacrificing his nap.  He’s back asleep almost immediately.

“What’s the clipboard for, Mar?” Lilo asks, while Marianne takes a random packet of papers from her desk.

“Makes me look more official.  She’s obviously not scared of the damn Garchomp in the lobby, but maybe human authority will work.”

Marianne leaves her office.  Lilo follows her, and out of the corner of her eye, Marianne can see the receptionist’s shadow jump unnaturally.

“You have your Gengar free-roaming today?” Marianne asks as they walk down the hall towards reception.

“Yeah!  She’s doing so good, isn’t she?  She even came out from under my desk!” Lilo turns to address her own shadow, which currently shows no sign of concealing a pokemon as far as Marianne can tell.  “Did you hear that, Lucy?  You’re such a brave girl!”

Sure enough, Lilo’s shadow shifts in response, swaying side to side.  Marianne smiles.  This is a good pick-me-up right before she has to deal with entitlement personified.

“Ma’am, you really should go through the Good Start program.”

Shit, that’s Tyler.  Marianne turns to Lilo in alarm.

“You left Tyler alone with her?” she whispers.

“Peggy’s on lunch, somebody had to stay with her!” Lilo protests.  Marianne just sighs and pushes open the door.

“Hello, Mrs. Bernard.  How can I help you?” Marianne asks, customer service voice in full effect.

Mrs. Bernard is a middle-aged woman with the least practical fake nails Marianne has ever seen.  Tyler, the shelter’s volunteer coordinator, is a tall black man with a honeycomb tattoo on his wrist and braids pulled back with a yellow elastic.  His Ribombee, Daisy, is perched on his shoulder.  Behind the front desk, Lilo’s Torracat and Garchomp are watching the humans with a shared sense of boredom.

“Nurse Joy!  Finally, someone reasonable!” Mrs. Bernard exclaims, ignoring Marianne’s question entirely.

Lilo and Tyler exchange a look and Marianne resists the urge to throw the clipboard at their guest.

“Mrs. Bernard, as I’m sure you’ve already been told, we don’t have any pokemon that would be appropriate for your daughter--”

“I don’t see why I can’t go in and see for myself,” Mrs. Bernard interrupts, which greatly amplifies Marianne’s desire to throw something.

“I already explained the training class to her,” Tyler says, arms crossed over his chest.  Daisy starts patting his cheek with her tiny hands, trying to soothe him.  Tyler tilts his head into the gesture to acknowledge her efforts.

“She’s already taking lessons through the school!  She knows how to handle pokemon,” Mrs. Bernard argues.

“Ma’am, the pokemon we have here generally aren’t appropriate for a kid just starting out, especially if she isn’t going to have adult supervision,” Marianne explains, desperately willing this woman to understand.

“I know multiple families whose children got their first pokemon through your organization!” Mrs. Bernard is only getting more agitated, and Marianne really wishes she’d brought her Nidoking along after all.  Butch is good at looming until people stop yelling at his trainer.

“Oh, they probably got them from the Good Start event we hold in the fall!” Lilo jumps in to explain. “When we get very young pokemon or eggs, some of our fosters raise them special for the Good Start program so they’ll make perfect partners for new trainers.”

“And why can’t I have one of those pokemon?”

“Um.  Because they all go into the program.  So that kids from the smaller towns can get starter pokemon too.  The Good Start program finds trainers for them much easier than we could, so we really don’t keep suitable pokemon around unless Good Start’s doing one of their local events.  It’s mostly pokemon with issues or older pokemon that--”

“Then give me an older pokemon!”

Lilo’s good cheer falters a little, and her Torracat finally comes out from behind her desk.  He nuzzles her knee, then sits at her feet, glowering up at Mrs. Bernard.

“The older pokemon are rescues.  They have specific needs--”

“I know some of your pokemon come from retired trainers.  Those pokemon would make <i>great</i> partners for a new trainer!”

Lilo’s Torracat does not appreciate his trainer being interrupted.  He meows at Mrs. Bernard-- it isn’t terribly threatening, because he has a particularly small, cute meow, but Marianne is fully aware he’ll start spitting embers next.  As much as Marianne would love to see that, it probably wouldn’t be good PR for the shelter to light a visitor on fire.

“Ma’am.  I don’t mean to be rude, but we are not denying you a pokemon for your daughter out of spite.  I’ve seen otherwise tame pokemon take bites out of beginner trainers seemingly out of nowhere, because the kids don’t know the pokemon’s limits.  The pokemon in Good Start are trained from birth to be safe partners to young trainers who are bound to make mistakes.  Pay Good Start’s registration fee, or, if you can’t afford it, talk to someone at the pokemon center,” Marianne says, in a tone that brooks no argument.  Mrs. Bernard tries to interrupt her twice, but Marianne just talks over her.

That’s actually enough to make the woman falter, which Marianne takes as a victory.  After a moment, Mrs. Bernard speaks again, less indignant this time.  She isn’t addressing Marianne, having apparently decided Tyler is a safer conversational partner.

“So, um.  What was that you said about classes?”

Marianne groans.  Lilo’s mouth twitches like she’s trying not to smile.

“Come back with your daughter, then we’ll talk to her about classes,” Tyler says, staying remarkably calm.  Lilo loses the fight against her smile and covers her mouth with a hand instead.

*

“I can’t believe you told her to get her daughter.  I mean, you’re totally right, the ten-year-old is more likely to be reasonable, but it’s like telling a little kid to put mommy on the phone,” Marianne shakes her head and laughs.

Now that they’ve got Mrs. Bernard out of the building, she’s sitting across from Tyler in the break room.  They’re sharing a styrofoam container of greasy takeout stir fry, their pokemon eating lunch nearby.  Tyler’s Ribombee is sipping nectar from a special bottle, still sitting on his shoulder, while his Volcarona devours a large bowl of alfalfa on the floor.  Marianne’s Nidoking is snacking on some high-protein kibble (figy berry flavor), occasionally trading morsels with her Audino, who prefers the pecha berry blend.

“I don’t know what her problem with the Good Start program is,” Tyler complains, gesturing with his chopsticks.  He talks with his hands, even when there’s something in his hands.  Marianne has seen him point to things with a Caterpie before. “I wish they had that program when I was a kid!  My first Weedle stung me four times in my first week!”

“Probably would have helped if you hadn’t tried to hug him.  Don’t try to tell me you didn’t, I’ve known you for half a decade.”

Tyler points the chopsticks at Marianne.

“Bug pokemon are adorable and they deserve hugs.”

His Ribombee squeaks in agreement and throws her arms around Tyler’s neck.  He raises his free hand to pet her, grinning.

“See?  Daisy knows what’s up.  You too, right, Cinder?”

Tyler’s Volcarona makes a tiny chittering sound but doesn’t even pause in her quest to devour her bowl of sprouts.

“Admittedly, I also got poisoned a lot when I first started.  Hugging may have been part of the issue,” Marianne says, tilting her head towards her Nidoking. “But I had basic medical training.”

“Don’t rub it in,” Tyler says. “We can’t all come from globe-spanning families of doctors.”

“That woman knew my name without an introduction.  There are downsides.”

“Wait, you hadn’t met her?  Lilo seemed to think you had.”

“Nah, Peggy dealt with her last time, and Lilo got her out of here herself the first time.”

“Holy shit, Marianne, you shaved your damn head and you’re still getting recognized?”

“It’s the cost of my beautiful face.  Everyone I’m related to has the same one.”

“You should have taken your wife’s last name.  Maybe they’re reading it off your nametag.”

“Do I need to get out my family photos?  We all look identical.”

“Maybe it’s some kind of cloning--”

“Tyler, do not start with the cloning theory again.”

Tyler laughs and leans in, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper.

“Come on, you don’t know--”

The door to the break room swings open.  Tyler startles mid-sentence and turns to look at whoever has interrupted the conversation.  It’s Peggy, the shelter’s adoption counselor, her Togetic fluttering over her shoulder and one of the Pichu she’s fostering tucked under her arm.  She has long brown hair and oversized glasses, a fashion choice Marianne has never fully understood.

“I’m gone for 20 minutes and I miss Mrs. Bernard?” she asks without offering a greeting, sounding affronted. “Did anyone die?”

Tyler laughs and pulls out a chair for her.

“Come sit, we’ll tell you everything.”