#teen lovecraft

[wyrmfedgrave]

Pics:

1 & 2. The astronomer turned writer himself. Traveling - thru some twilit zone - into the darkness of the human soul. And, raising the fear therein...

3 & 4. Lovecraftian currency!! The easy way to corrupt - & consume - the all too weak human soul!

5 & 6. Following the slick slime trails, found deep beneath all cities's guts, leads (all worshippers of darkness) into their own mouth of madness...

1907: Astronomer in Residence.

Life: In January, Lovecraft lectured the Boys Club of the 1st Baptist Church on general astronomy.

Otherwise, HPL is busy with school work, his astronomical observations, writing a newspaper column & in his Jellygraphing a "special" for his few friends.

He has little time for fiction. Or, so it seems...

Output:

1. "The Picture" is a short horror story that was never published & which now seems to no longer exists.

It's plot is about a Parisian artist painting what he considers to be the ultimate embodiment of evil itself.

Sadly, the artist is later found - murdered to death!

It seems that, in his death struggle, the finished painting was almost totally destroyed.

Only a small corner of the canvas still remains...

On it, is a picture of the bloody claw that killed the artist!!

Note: Only a description of this tale is known to survive. The story itself is thought to be lost to history.

But, even this small bit of plot, shows off HPL's growth as a writer.

Previously, Howard's work relied heavily on Poe as a model.

Now, Lovecraft's tales carried the mark of writer Robert W. Chambers. And, HPL was heavily influenced by Chambers's story "The Yellow Sign."

Howard loved the work's archaic style, it's artistic atmosphere & the exotic setting.

Howard's "Picture" is now seen as a precursor to his later horror short "Pickman's Model."

Even it's title was later reused by Lovecraft, as "The Picture in the House"...

"The Picture" might be part of the early tales that HPL considered unreadable & which he destroyed...

2. "Celestial Objects For All" describes itself as an "Easy Guide to observing the skies with Opera or Field Glasses."

I could only find a single mention of this publication. And, it's Howard's 'dismissal' of our solar system's last 2 planets.

"Both", he wrote, "are visible as faint stars in opera glasses, ... their study seldom repays the observer."

9 years later, Lovecraft would opine that Uranus was likely "a hot & molten semi-sun."

We now know how close his remark really was.

Ice giants are mostly composed of hot liquid water, methane & ammonia.

Their atmosphere is full of hydrogen, helium & trace amounts of methane.

I've only heard of the planet Jupiter as being considered a proto-sun. Which is what most of us saw in "2010: The Year We Make Contact."

Note: HPL would remain interested in astronomy til his final days.

Even being able to visit NYC's Hayden Planetarium twice since it 1st opened in 1935.

Quotes:

1. Howard, on his scientific interest, "My grandma... was a lover of astronomy... And, it is to her obsolete collection of... books (on space), that I owe my affection for (the) celestial..."

2. HPL, on astronomy, "How trivial seem the rays of a (street) lamp, to him who is (used) to looking upon... suns & worlds."

3. Lovecraft, on journalism, "I was a great reformer... & had... ideas about uplifting the masses."

4. HPL, on friendships, "I believed in equality then &... invited a... bright Swedish boy (home) despite maternal protest."

[kamaandhallie]

All my current media obsessions put into one drawing.

[lupines-slash-recs]

Rec: Sleepless by iamnotamuffin

Title: Sleepless Author: iamnotamuffin Canon: Bungo Stray Dogs Pairing: Howard Phillips Lovecraft/John Steinbeck Rating: Teen [PG] Word Count: 6,259 Summary: After their encounter with the Armed Detective Agency, Lovecraft suddenly starts having reoccurring dreams

Continue reading...

[kunikidas-lost-glasses]

BSD college!AU - Bramcraft drabble - Aquarium date

TWs: None. This is genuinely only tooth-rotting fluff

Soukoku is there too for a short time

---------------------------------------------------

While Bram isn't super interested into the world underwater, Lovecraft is absolutely fascinated by it

He's majoring in marine biology too so yeah. He adores everything related to life underwater

Due to this, he also loves going to the large aquarium in the city

Normally he despises going anywhere but this is the only exception besides going to the library and most of the time, Bram will let himself get convinced to go to the aquarium with the other

Both find the aquarium extremely calming and soothing in some way and could watch thier favorite tanks forever

Usually they both enjoy thier stay there a whole damn lot, aside from getting annyoyed by screaming kids which run around without watching where they go and aside from the fact that Bram can't get close to some of the tanks since there is a little step in front of some tanks on which he can't get with his wheelchair

It always pisses him off

While he can walk or stand for extremely short periods of time with crutches, without being in unbearable pain and without his legs giving in, he genuinely doesn't accept that he needs to go through the whole process of getting out his crutches,slowly getting out of the wheelchair and having to get up on that step (which is pretty difficult), only to see the tanks clearly for a very short while before he has to sit back down anyways.

It makes him wanna strangle people

But luckily the most tanks are accessible and on top of that, he can fit perfectly in the kids tunnel which he thinks is quite nice

Bram's favorite tanks there are the jellyfish tanks, the tank with the axolotls, and the tanks with the rays while Lovecraft's favorite tanks are the ones with the squits and the octopuses aswell as the the large and deep ones with multiple species in it

But since he knows that Bram finds the latter a bit unnerving, they never stay too long in front of this tank

They also both love the shark tunnel

They could spend hours in that tunnel, watching the sharks

They often sit together in front of the jellyfish tank and hold hands while watching the jellyfish for nearly an hour

Often, Bram lies his head against Lovecraft's shoulder and both start to doze off

Lovecraft also likes the interactive tanks were visitors can touch starfish, tiny crabs, sponges, non poisonous sea anemones and shells

Bram isn't that fond of those interactive tanks and refused to touch anything in them at first but eventually Lovecraft convinced him to touch at least one of the shells

If he was completely honest, he kind of liked the feeling of the shells and the pleasant cold of the water

He also dared to touch one of the star fish after carefully but also cautiously caressing some of the shells but he quickly pulled his hand out of the water, the moment he touched one of the star fish

He complained for plenty of minutes about the horrible squishy feeling and then he complained for a while about how Lovecraft could touch those things so fondly

Lovecraft just stifled a laugh and shrugged at that question

They don't talk a lot when they are there. They watch the fish, the sharks, the jellyfish and all the other species quietly. They don't need any words then. They are both quiet people and being in each other's presence while watching the fish seemingly floating gracefully through the water is more than enough for them

They also don't just hurry through the aquarium but rather spend a long while watching all the tanks, observing every detail, basking in the graceful yet silent beauty of the underwater life and showing each other things they find beautiful, cute, funny, fascinating or endearing

Lovecraft randomly infodumping in a calm, storytelling kinda way while they stand in front of a tank is a thing.

Bram loves it. He will always listen to him and he also always asks a bunch of questions about whatever topic his partner is talking about, genuinely wanting to learn more about it

If they are in a exam phase during thier visit, they both are able to forget thier exam stress for at least a little while and can finally relax

They also saw Dazai and Chuuya strolling through the aquarium once or twice already and once was during an exam phase which is why Bram guessed that they also wanted to escape from all the exam stress for a little while (judging by Chuuya's workaholic tendinces, it was probably Dazai's idea to go to the aquarium during that time)

Chuuya was quietly admiring the fish, rays and all the other animals while Dazai was running from tank to tank in sheer excitement like a little child, calling Chuuya to show him things and being extremely giddy the whole time

The redhead watched his boyfriend with amusement and with a soft smile on his lips

Chuuya also often called Dazai to a tank or tugged at his shirt or hand, showing him things and cracking jokes here and there

When Dazai wasn't running around, they were mostly holding hands, both silently admiring all the different animals on the different tanks, occasionally showing the other something while Dazai was still super excited nearly the whole time

One time, the two couples walked past each other, greeting each other in a friendly way, Dazai waving happily as soon as he spotted Bram and Lovecraft

While Bram and Lovecraft show affection usually through conversations, hugs, holding hands or sitting together in a comfortable silence, either doing nothing or doing something like reading and while they don't kiss often, they would be lying if they would say that they didn't share a couple of kisses in the shark tunnel

Another thing which makes them love being at the aquarium aside from the obvious reasons (the sea life and spending time together in mostly peaceful surroundings) are the low lights

Both are pretty sensitive to light, Bram more than Lovecraft, and due to that the low lights in most of the areas are truly a blessing, even though it makes both a bit sleepy after a while

They also always visit the shop before they leave

Bram making Lovecraft wear silly hats with cartoon fish on it and not being able to hold back a genuine laugh when his old friend really puts on the hat in question is a thing

Bram's absolute favorite find is a shaker Keychain with little, nearly transparent but colorful miniature jellyfish in it

He always keeps it on his Bunch of keys/key ring

They both also often buy plushies there. Lovecraft once bought a huge octopus plush while Bram bought a shark plush

Lovecraft also once brought him a blanket set, one with jellyfish and one with sharks on it when they visited during winter. Bram had forgotten his blanket at home and he was genuinely freezing so Lovecraft bought him the blankets. Besides this, he knew that Bram had been wanting them.

The also both once bought those shark sleeping bags which look like a shark is eating you for shits and giggles

They had a "I only buy one if you buy one too" discussion about it and ended up buying two of those shark sleeping bags

They love them unironically since they are super comfortable to sleep in and surprisingly keep them warm despite looking like bring made out of thin fabric

They never eat in the restaurant of the aquarium though since they both think it's kind of macabre to eat fish sticks, sea fruit, fish in general or crab while sitting next to a tank with colorful fish in it

Besides this, they are mostly both pretty worn out when they arrive at the restaurant so they probably wouldn't even want to eat something there if they would serve different food since they are simply both too tired and since they absolutely can't put up with the screaming children in the children corner then

Due to all of this, they usually drive back to the college dorms and order some take out which they can eat while cuddling on one of the beds in thier dorm, listening to music, showing each other videos they made while they were at the aquarium and chatting a bit about thier day as well as about the aquarium/the different species which they were able to see today

[dani-r]

After all this years I realized that I'm less of a Lovecraft girl and more of an Ash from Evil Dead girl.

[princessmyriad]

Fuck it on the odd occasion someone votes ima start using polls for personal decision making reasons

The first three i have not read (i attempted to read one of the Lovecrafts and it was. So hard to get through.)

The Goosebumps i have read but found my collection when unpacking in my new house and have not read for since i was like 11, (books #8-#61 with a couple odd missing and a few newer series ones and choose your owns)

Unfortunate Events i have also read but my partner has never so I plan to watch the show with them soon

[phinmagic]

Queen of the Cold Night 4

[wilwheaton]

When you watch The Curse, you are watching two children who were abused and exploited daily during production. No adults protected us.

This was originally published on my blog in August, 2022.

I had a wonderful time at Steel City Comicon this weekend. It was my first time at this particular con, so I didn’t know there was such a huge contingent of horror fans, creators, and vendors who attend.

I love horror, and I was pretty psyched to be in the same place as John Carpenter and Tom Savini, across the street from the Dawn of the Dead mall. Pittsburgh feels like one of the places horror was invented, at least to me.

A number of these horror fans came to see me, and asked me to sign posters and other things from a movie my parents forced me to do when I was 13, called The Curse. I had to tell each of these people that I would not sign anything associated with that movie, because I was abused and exploited during production. The time I spent on that film remains the most traumatizing time of my life, and though I am a 50 year-old man, just typing this now makes my hands shake with remembered fear of a 13 year-old boy who nobody protected, and the absolute fury the 50 year-old man feels toward the people who hurt him.

I told this story in Still Just A Geek, and I’ve talked about it in some podcasts I did on the promo tour, but I’ve never put it out in public like this, in its entirety.

I suspect someone at the publisher would prefer I tease this and hope it drives book sales from people who want to read all of it, but I honestly don’t want to have another weekend like this one where everything is awesome, except the few times people who have no idea (and why should they) put that fucking poster in front of me, and all the fear, abandonment, and trauma come flooding back as I tell them that I won’t sign it, and why.

To their credit, each person was as horrified as they should have been, told me they had no idea (if they didn’t read my book why would they), and quickly put the poster away. They were all understanding. I am grateful for that.

But I really don’t need to tell this story over and over again, so here it is, with a child abuse and exploitation content warning, so I can just tell people to Google it.

After Stand by Me, everything changed. The attention from entertainment journalists, casting directors, and especially teen magazines came pouring in. The movie was a generational hit, beloved by critics and audiences alike, and every single one of us could pick anything to do next.

River’s parents and his agent got him Mosquito Coast, with Harrison Ford, as his next movie. I also auditioned for the role, but I knew even then that River was going to book the job. He was perfect, and I’d have to wait a little bit for my opportunity to come along.

I went on a lot of theatrical auditions after Stand by Me. I had tons of meetings with directors and the heads of casting at every major studio. It was all a very big deal, and I felt like we were all looking for something really special and amazing as my follow-up to Stand by Me.

At some point, a couple of producers contacted my agent with an offer to play one of the leads in an adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Colour Out of Space.” The script was titled The Farm. (It would, of course, be changed when the film was released).

I read it. I did not like it. It was a shitty horror movie, and I saw that right away. It was the sort of thing you rented on Friday when the new release you wanted was already out of the store.

My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

I told my parents I didn’t like it and didn’t want to do it. I clearly recall thinking it was a piece of shit that would hurt my career.

It wasn’t the first thing that had come our way that I wanted to pass on, and every other time, it hadn’t been a very big deal.

Sidebar: I was cast in Twilight Zone: The Movie, in 1983. The film tells four stories, and I was cast as the kid who can wish people into cartoonland. It was a GREAT role, in a movie I still love. (Note that Twilight Zone had four directors. One of them got three people killed. The segment I was cast in was not that one. I mention this because too many people zero in on this to deflect from what this whole thing is actually about.)

But I was CONVINCED by my parochial school teacher that if I worked on The Twilight Zone, which she had determined was satanic, I would go to hell. (This woman and her bullshit played a big role in my conversion to atheism at a young age, but when she told me that, I was all-in on the supernatural story they taught us in religion class.) I was so scared, more scared than I’d ever been to that point in my life, I cried and wailed and begged my parents to not make me do the movie. And I never told them why, because I was afraid my dad would laugh at me for being weak and afraid. My agent tried to talk me into it, and I wouldn’t budge. It’s the only thing I deeply and truly regret passing on, and I really hate I made that choice for such a stupid reason.

Okay. Back to The Curse.

This time, when I told them how much I hated it, they wouldn’t listen to me. My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

That is, until they made me take a meeting with the producers of the movie, in their giant conference room on the top floor of a tall building in Hollywood. All I remember about this place was that it was huge; the table was way too big for the five of us who spread around it, and there were floor-to-ceiling windows on three of the walls, but the room was still dark. There was a weird optical illusion in the center of the table, this thing they sold in the Sharper Image catalog, made from two reflective dishes with a hole in the top of one. You placed an object in the bottom of the bottom dish, and it made it look like that object was floating above the whole thing. They had a plastic spider in it. What a strange detail for me to remember, but it’s as clear in my memory as if I were sitting in that room right now.

One man, who I presumed was the executive producer, was European or Middle Eastern (I didn’t know the difference then, he was just Not Like People I Knew), and I was instantly afraid of him. He was intimidating, and seemed like a person who got what he wanted.

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

I don’t remember what they said to me in their pitch or anything other than how uncomfortable and anxious I was to even be in that room. I tried so hard to be grown up and mature, but I — and my parents — was way out of my depth. I’d done one big movie and that was it. We didn’t have my agent with us, who had lots of experience and would have known what questions to ask.

No, in place of my experienced agent, my mother had decided she was going to be my manager, and she tackled the responsibility with an enthusiasm that was only matched by her absolute incompetence and inability to go toe-to-toe with producers the way my agent did. She was outwitted, out-thought, and outmaneuvered at every turn.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

At some point, this man, who is represented in my memory by big Jim Jones sunglasses under dark hair above an open collar, said, “We are offering you a hundred thousand dollars and round-trip travel for your whole family. We will cast your sister, Amy, to play your sister in the movie.”

It all made sense, now. I was only thirteen, but I knew my parents were pushing me so hard because this company was offering me — them, really — more money than I’d ever imagined I’d earn in my life, much less a single job.

I knew that the right thing to do, the smart thing to do, was to say no. There would be other opportunities, and it was stupid to cash myself out of feature films for what I thought was, in the grand scheme of things, not very much money.

It’s incredible to me that I knew all of this. It’s incredible to me that I could see all these things, plainly and clearly, and my parents couldn’t (or, more likely, chose not to).

So after this man made his offer, all the adults in the room ganged up on me, selling me HARD on this movie.

My mother said, “Don’t you want your sister to have the same opportunities you’ve had? Wouldn’t it be fun and exciting to go to Rome? Think of all the history!”

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

I don’t think about this very often, because it’s super upsetting to me. Right now, I’m so angry at my parents for subjecting me and my sister to this entire experience. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In that moment, I felt bullied and trapped. All these adults were talking to me at the same time, and I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to go home and get out of this room. I just wanted to go be a kid, so I did what I’d learned to do to survive: I gave in and did what my parents wanted.

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

But here’s the thing: when you watch The Curse, you are watching two children, me and my sister, who were abused on a daily basis. The production did not follow a single labor law. They worked us for twelve hours a day, on multiple film units (while I work on First unit, second unit sets up and waits for me. When I should get a break to rest, they send me to Second unit, then to Third unit, then back to First unit. I was 13.) without any breaks, five days a week. I was exhausted the entire time. I was inappropriately touched by two different adults during production. I knew it was wrong, but I was so scared and ashamed, and I felt so unsupported, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew my dad wouldn’t believe me, and my mother would blame me. Anything to keep the production happy, that’s what she did. That was more important to her than the health and safety of her children. The director was coked out of his mind most of the time, incompetent, and so busy fucking or trying to fuck one of the women in the cast, he was worse than useless. He was a fading actor who was cosplaying as a director, as in over his head as my mother. My sister and I were never safe. Instead of harmless atmospheric SFX smoke, they set hay on fire in barrels and blew actual smoke onto the set. They took buckets of talc, broken wood, bits of wallpaper and plaster, and threw it into my face during a scene inside the collapsing house. My sister is in a scene where she goes to get eggs from some chickens, and they attack her. So they hired Lucio Fulci, the Italian horror master, to direct her sequence. His idea, which everyone was totally on board with, was to throw chickens at my sister. Live chickens, live roosters, live birds. Just throw them at a nine-year-old girl. Oh, and then tie them to her arms and legs so they’ll peck her. All of this happened under my mother’s observation, and with her full participation.

Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

If just ONE of the things I can remember happened to someone I loved, I would have grabbed my kids, gone to the airport, and flown home. Fuck those abusive assholes in the production. Let the lawyers sort it all out. Nobody hurts my children and gets away with it.

My mom says she “had some talks” with the producers. She claims that, once, she wouldn’t let us leave the hotel. (God, what a fucking dump that place was. It was just slightly better than a hostel.) I have no memory of that, but honestly the entire experience was so traumatic, I’ve blocked most of it out.

The movie was the commercial and critical failure I knew it would be. My parents spent the money. I don’t know what they spent it on. I got to keep fifteen cents of every dollar, so . . . yay?

My sister and I hardly ever talk about this. I suspect it was as upsetting and traumatic for her as it was for me. I told her I was writing about it, and asked her if she remembered anything. She told me she’d been lied to her whole life about this movie. Our mother let her believe she had been cast on the strength of her audition. “I was excited to work with you,” she said. She reminded me about some stuff I’d blocked out, including a scene where my character’s older brother (played by an actor named Malcolm Danare, who was kind and gentle, and made both of us feel safer when he was around) shoves my character into a pile of cow shit. When it came time to shoot the scene, the mud they’d put together to be the cow shit looked an awful lot like cow shit. When Malcolm pushed me into it, we all found out it was real cow shit. I was FURIOUS. The director had lied to me and had allowed me to have my entire body shoved into an actual pile of actual cow shit. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember he treated me the exact same way my father did whenever I got upset: he laughed at me, told me I was being too sensitive, reminded me that he was the director and he wanted to get a “real” performance out of me, and concluded, “If it bothers you so much, we’ll get you a hepatitis shot,” before he walked away.

My sister also recalled that, after she survived the scene with the chickens, it was the producers’ idea to give her one as a pet.

Okay, let’s unpack that for a quick second: you’ve been traumatized by these birds, so we’re going to give you one as a pet. That you’ll somehow keep in your hotel, and then will somehow get back to America. It will shock you to learn that neither of those things happened.

She remembered, as I do, the huge fight I had with my parents in our kitchen, where I told them I hated the script and I hated the movie. I didn’t want to do it, and I hated that they were making me do it.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

“This is the only film you are being offered,” my mother lied to me. She made me feel like, if I didn’t do this movie, I would never do another movie again in my life. I had to do this movie. As my father bellowed, I had no choice.

Both of my parents denied this argument ever happened. Can I tell you how reassuring it is to know that my sister, who was also there, remembers it the same way I do?

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them.

But one thing she told me, the thing I did not know, the thing that makes me so angry I want to break things, actually managed to make the entire experience even worse than I remembered it.

There’s a scene after her chicken incident where I check up on her in her bedroom. She’s got cuts and bruises, and I guess we talk about it. I don’t remember and I can’t watch the movie because I’m terrified it will give me a PTSD flashback (I’ve had one of those and I recommend avoiding it). Here’s the thing about that scene: she has some cuts on her face, and those cuts are real. They are not makeup.

I’m going to repeat that. My nine-year-old little sister had actual cuts on her face that were placed there by an adult, on purpose.

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them. My sister told me our mother wasn’t in the makeup room when this happened — honestly, it seemed like our mother was strangely and conveniently absent when most of the really terrible things happened to us on the set — and when my sister told her what they’d done, she “lost her shit” at the production. She was pissed, I guess, which is appropriate and surprising. I wonder what would have to have happened for her to put us on a plane and get us home to safety? I mean, her son being abused daily didn’t do it, and her daughter being CUT IN THE FACE ON PURPOSE didn’t do it.

I just . . . I can’t. I can’t understand or comprehend allowing your own children to be physically and emotionally abused. They were literally selling my sister and me to these people, like we were some kind of commodity.

This was a tough conversation. My sister’s experience with our parents is very different from mine. My sister and I love each other. We’re close. I know it’s hard for her to hear that her brother, who she loves, was so abused by her parents, who she also loves. I was really grateful she made the time to talk to me about it, and grateful the experience wasn’t as horrible for her as it was for me.

As we were finishing our call, Amy also remembered one man, a young Italian named Luka, who was our driver for the movie. I haven’t thought about him in thirty years, but I can see his face now. He was kind, he was friendly, he taught us how to kick a soccer ball, and in the middle of an abusive, torturous experience, he stood out as a kind and gentle man. I mention him because she remembered him, which made me remember him, and goddammit I want at least one small part of this thing to not be awful.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares.

Ultimately, as I predicted and feared, this piece of shit movie cashed me out of respectable films forever. I got offers for movies, but they were always mindless comedies or exploitative horror films. They were never the serious dramas I wanted to work in after Stand by Me. The industry looked at me and River, wondering if one or both of us would become a breakout star. They quickly saw that River was doing real acting work, and I was in this piece of shit. For River, Stand by Me was a beginning. For me, it would turn out to be pretty much everything, at least as far as film goes.

There are thousands of reasons film careers do and don’t take off. Maybe mine wouldn’t have taken off anyway. Clearly, it’s not where my life ended up, and I’m super okay with that now. But when all of this happened, it hurt and haunted me.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares. Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

This annotation is the last thing I wrote before I turned this manuscript in, because opening these wounds is hard and painful. I put it off as long as I could, and I feel like I’m still holding back, because just this small glimpse of the experience has taken me a week to write. I can’t imagine trying to go back and unpack the whole thing. (Note that is not in the book: I’ve made an EMDR appointment to work on this because the nightmares have come back after the weekend).

Fuck The Curse, and fuck every single person who exploited and hurt two beautiful children to make it. You all participated in child abuse, and you all knew better. Shame on all of you. I hope this follows you to the end of your life. I hope that living with what you did to innocent children has been as hard for you as it has been for me, because you deserve no less.

[anticidic]

Dazai constantly described as a monster and inhuman by others, but okay, AU where he actually is some kind of horrifying creature a-la Lovecraft and he's just hella good at hiding it. The cracks are there if you squint—he doesn't have a reflection. He absolutely refuses to love himself in the mirror and reacts violently if forced to look at one. Like, he just puts his fist through the mirror, completely calm about it on the outside and barely blinking even as his fist burns and he wants to scream in pain. But the pain's not as bad as whatever isn't there in the mirror.

Chuuya saw them as weird little quirks he chalked up to Dazai just being completely weird when they were teens, but now in the ADA, it's like Dazai body hopped and there's something uncanny about the way he jokes around too much trying to blend in with how people react that there's just something off.

It's also why he seems to disappear from photos even when others in the agency swear Dazai was in the shot. But...maybe they had been wrong after all, and Dazai either wasn't there or he stepped out of frame at the last moment.

Most importantly, the way Dazai's face just drops when he's called a monster over and over again. He just wants to be human and fit in. Be normal.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Could you write a small platonic imagine bout the bsd cast finding out that the user is a teen pls! (Also I am a fan of your work)

Thank you. I am glad, you like my works. There, hope, you enjoy it.

Finding out, that user are a teen

Platonic! Self-Aware! BSD characters x GN! Teen! Reader

Warning: OOC, Platonic Soft Yandere. English is my second language.

All of them have heard your voice. All of them have felt your emotions towards them. They don't have name or age, but it doesn't matter. The most important thing for them is that you are a good person. And they adored you because of that.

But, still, they want to learn more about you. And, one day, they got some of their answers.

When the purple moon shines above Yokohama once again, it could mean two things. First, someone will get a new outfit. Second, someone new, a ghost from the past, will appear.

When purple moon faded, Kirako Haruno finally become truly self-aware.

BSD cast heard the voice of Their Guiding Light.

"Yea! I got Haruno! All ADA team is there!"

Kirako blinked and laugh quietly.

"[Y/N], you are so energetic."

Everyone was quiet. [Y/N]? Fukuzawa was the one, who broke the silence.

"[Y/N]? Is that...?"

Kirako nodded.

"Yes. It's their name. I have learned it during my... stasis, let's call it that."

Yosano spoked next.

"Have you learned something else?"

Kirako nodded again.

"Yes. About their interests. And some bits about their school life."

"School life?" Echoed Yosano. Kirako looked around. Everyone was looking at her.

"Yes. [Y/N] are still going to school. They are a teen."

_______________________

🐾 Congratulations, you are now adopted by everyone.

🐾 For someone, you will be a sibling. For others, you will be their child. Someone will be an uncle or aunt. For others, you will be a grandchild.

🐾 They already love you as their own flesh and blood.

🐾 What they will do, when they got into your world? It depends.

🐾 If you have a good, loving family, they won't take you away, but they will become good friends to you.

🐾 If your family are terrible, they will take you away from them.

🐾 Not without teaching them a lesson.

🐾 If you are an orphan, they would adopt you immediately.

🐾 They will try their best to make your life happy. They will do anything to ensure your future.

Some more headcannons:

🐾 Fukuzawa, Mori, Fitzgerald and Oda almost fight, when they were figuring out, who will be your adopted father.

🐾 Fyodor is waiting for the right moment to join the competition for an 'adopted father' title.

🐾 Fukichi is still confused. Should he be considered your father or your grandfather?

🐾 Poe and Ranpo will compete with each other in "Who is the best Big Brother" competition. Ranpo has candies, Poe has Karl.

🐾 Lovecraft will let you climb all over his monster form. Same with Goncharov and his stone golems.

🐾 Someone bullies you? Kenji, Kyouka, Elise, Q and Gogol will show them not to mess with you.

🐾 Yosano and Kouyou are the ones, who is responsible for your wardrobe.

🐾 One time, Mori took you on a shopping trip. Chuuya accompanied you two. And Mori has decided to visit all shops to buy you as many cute clothes as he can. And he didn't have a car at that moment. At the end, Chuuya had to carry exhausted you and few dozen bags.

🐾 Kunikida will help you with math. Even if you don't like math, his explanations are easy to understand.

🐾 All of them are protective. No one will hurt you on their watch. They love you and cherish you.

[wizardfrog69]

'•.¸♡ First kiss ♡¸.•'

Fluff

Masterlist

Enjoy!

Feat. Fukuzawa, Yosano, Atsushi, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Kouyou, Arthur, Akutagawa, Gin, Ango, Poe, Karl, Lovecraft, Mark, Hawthrone, Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma, Jōno, Tetchō, Natsume

Yukichi Fukuzawa:

He definitely had his first kiss before, maybe in his twenties.

He wanted to save his first kiss for someone who would want to be with him forever, but they unfortunately left him.

He would kiss someone after at least a couple of weeks of being together. He prefers to know whether that person wants to marry him or not.

Your first kiss was at his office when you were doing overtime, and you wanted to keep him company.

He's okay at kissing.

Akiko Yosano:

She had her first kiss when she was young, in her teenage years.

Your first kiss was either when you two were on a coffee date or when she was taking care of you (and you weren't under the influence of any medication)

Also she's a very good kisser.

Atsushi Nakajima:

He never had his first kiss and is really nervous to kiss someone.

The first time you kissed he was sweating a lot.

His lips were soft.

Your first time kissing was when you were sitting on a bench or on a wall watching the sunset. (You asked, obviously)

Doppo Kunikida:

He never kissed someone and also wants to wait to kiss someone.

He wants to be with his ideal partner and kiss them I'm the ideal way (just a peck on the cheek or something)

Your first kiss was when he was saying goodbye to you by your door, and he kisses you on the cheek.

Cheek kisses count as proper kisses for him.

Ranpo Edogawa:

He had his first kiss in his early twenties/late teens.

The first time you kissed you were cuddling together.

He tastes very sweet and sometimes he's chewing on sweets while kissing you.

Chuuya Nakahara:

He didn't have his first kiss yet.

You two kissed after a mission you had together.

He tastes like expensive wine and cigarettes.

Kōyō Ozaki:

She never kissed anyone before.

When you first kissed, she was a but surprised that she liked it so much and wanted to kiss you more.

She has really soft lips and she smells like flowers.

Arthur Rimbaud:

Hes just cold.

He did kiss some people in France, and he didn't meet anyone while outside of France.

The first time you kissed was by a fire.

His lips were really cold.

Ryūnosuke Akutagawa:

He's not kissing anyone, ever.

Gin Akutagawa:

She didn't kiss anyone before.

The first time you kissed she was a bit shy but got comfortable quickly.

Sakunosuke Oda:

He's dead sorry 😞

Ango Sakaguchi:

He's too busy for relationships.

But when he found you he couldn't keep himself away.

You first kissed in his office.

Despite never kissing anyone he was surprisingly not bad.

Edgar Allan Poe:

He had his first kiss before, but he was really shy, and he only kissed someone once before.

The first time you kissed him, he froze from shock, and he was just so nervous.

His lips are a bit cracked.

When he got less nervous, he would kiss you back, but he was way too shy to wrap his arms around you.

If karl saw him, he would cry.

Karl:

Karl deserves a little kiss on his cute little forehead.

He gets plenty of them from Poe, but you are gonna give him one aswell cuz he's so adorable.

Howard Lovecraft:

He never kissed someone before.

When you kissed him, his lips were surprisingly cold.

He isn't the worst or the best kisser in the world. He's okay

Mark Twain:

He had like 3 girlfriends in high school, of course he kissed someone before.

He's really good at kissing (he had plenty of practice)

The first time you kissed was he got you ice cream.

Nathaniel Hawthrone:

He never kissed anyone and isn't planning on kissing.

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

He never kissed anyone before and he never really planned on kissing someone.

When you first kissed him, it was a simple peck on the lips, but to Fyodor, it was very special. He never dared to say anything about it, though.

His lips are cracked and dry.

Nikolai Gogol:

He has definitely kissed someone before.

He's a good kisser and very touchy, especially while kissing.

The first time you kissed was in a hallway, his hands were moving all over your body.

He tastes like cotton candy and pastries.

Sigma:

He never kissed anyone.

He was really shy when you first kissed.

You kissed at/after a café or coffee shop, so he tasted like coffee. Or, while at a garden, he tasted like cookies and tea. It was just a small peck on the lips, but it was still really nice, especially because his lips were so nice and soft.

Saigiku Jōno:

He had kissed before but not a lot, like 1 or two people.

He is a good kisser but he doesn't kiss you often.

Also, he likes touching you while kissing you as well.

Tetchō Suehiro:

He never kissed anyone before.

When you first kissed, he tasted like the weirdest mix of flavours ever.

Sōseki Natsume:

Kitty meow meow =^..^= :)

He gets kisses on his forehead when he's a kitty from me.

I love cats <3

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

I wrote everything in one go! Hurray! Now I'm tired from thinking.

Have a wonderful day/night and enjoy the day or evening.

-love. Az

[wyrmfedgrave]

Pics:

1 & 2 concern our living home, the planet Earth.

3 & 4 are book covers on the subject of the Gooey Olde Writer, Lovecraft.

1903: Addendum.

"The Planet" is an August 1903 scientific article by Lovecraft.

I'm afraid that I've not found it online. But, being that HPL was obsessed with astronomy at this time, it's fairly obvious the article must concern itself with the Earth, its cosmic history & how it fits in within the skies.

But, of course, I can't be totally sure. So, any info on this lost(?) work would be greatly appreciated...

[the-orange-tabby-cat]

A Lesson In Nature

Dieter Bravo x fem!reader

Summary: A hike with your handsome co-star made you believe two things: 1. Your agent would be fired as soon as you got signal, 2. Dieter was a full pain in the ass. Forget about having the starlet breakout of your dreams, you were about to murder whoever cast you both together. But first, you need to survive this.

read on AO3 | masterlist

Rating: Teen - no allusions to sex, just fluff

Warnings/Tags: enemies (but not really) to lovers, fluff, soft!Dieter, co-stars, power imbalance, mention of irritated skin and that's all, No use of y/n

Word count: 4,2k

Tabby note: Part of the Summer Lovin' 24 Challenge by @pedgito, under the hiking category. It was so much fun! 🧡 I wanted to write a Dieter fic for so long and it was the perfect opportunity. Go ahead and check the other works too! 🐾

GIF by @miguelo-hara

You were certain of two things: 1. Your agent would be fired as soon as you got signal, 2. Dieter was a full pain in the ass. Forget about having the starlet breakout of your dreams, you were about to murder whoever cast you both together.

Your dismay started when you found out about a script that would be directed by an awarded director: two astronomers stuck in the middle of the Atacama desert, unable to fully leave the lab region after a strange meteor affected the nearby community in a modern adaption of The Color Out of Space by H. P. Lovecraft. It was a serious project and you wanted to be seen as a serious actress, not only fit for a romcom.

After convincing your agent to make a call and book an audition, you got the job and shed some relief tears.

God forbid being 30 and still cast as a teenager, there was a limit on how many times you could look like a 17 year old and the clock was ticking. This is why you still accepted the part even after being told that the chief astronomer, an older and tortured man who avoided intimacy with his younger partner at all costs, would be played by Dieter Bravo.

“He isn’t as bad as it sounds, you know? Met him at a Vanity Fair party a few years ago, harmless. Just stay out of his way and you’ll be fine,” your agent guaranteed as you analyzed the studio offer.

Fuck it, this was your moment: you said yes.

You were excited about many things as the pre-production started. Being in Chile for a few months, getting to see the ALMA observatory out in the desert, and proving yourself to the director and executives. Fuck, even acting with Dieter was something that you were looking for.

However, you felt something off during a meeting with the production team.

“For most of the story, it will be only you two. I know we still have some time before production starts, but I need you to get used to the harsh conditions of the desert.” The director said on a Zoom call with the executive producers, HR, Dieter, and you.

These calls were a regular thing, even more so when discussing working conditions. And yet, Dieter looked a little scared.

“What exactly are you proposing, Alan?” He questioned while scratching his beard, his sunglasses hid most of his stare.

“A hiking. Nothing too intense, enough for you to get used to the lack of humidity. The producers believe that will help preview how your body will react to the extreme conditions; this way we can prepare the set better for the real thing.”

Dieter just nodded, still a little zoned out. You pondered about it, he hadn’t spoken a word towards you since being cast, except a “congratulations, doll” on the email announcing it to the studio. For someone known as a party animal, he seemed worn out.

“And when will we be hiking? The Atacama weather will be pretty mild when we arrive there, right?” You frowned just to gain a chuckle from one of the producers.

“We’ll be shooting during South American spring, in a few months. We must do all pre-production until then: get all licenses, the costumes, the usual. We can’t wait for a similar weather, you’ll go hiking this week.” His hands were typing something on his phone, a smuggle smirk on his face. You fought the urge to roll your eyes.

Unless they were able to recreate the driest place on Earth, you doubted that it would help that much. A hike? With quiet and problematic Dieter? A nightmare. You and him, however, weren’t able to say anything as the meeting continued. 

“Also, if you allow me: the director has a special request for both of you. It isn’t mandatory in any way, but it would be nice if you could consider and give us an answer by the end of this week.” The HR manager smiled in a silent plea, catching Dieter's attention.

“In the script, the astronomers have known each other for years, they can communicate with just their eyes. They have a high level of intimacy that has been constructed over time. It would be fantastic if you could share a room when we arrive there.” You and Dieter opened the mic to reply, but he put his hand up in a quick motion asking to finish his proposal. “The room will have two beds, of course. We have an intimacy coordinator in the set as required, I don’t want to create any stress, just allow you to get closer so these characters can show up better on screen.”

Dieter huffed and you got offended. You were the weakest link here, he had an Oscar and a name in the industry, this was your first big role. Why the hell did he huff at the idea of sharing a room with you for a few weeks?

“Again, no need to give us an answer now. Just food for thought.” HR was getting under your skin, but fine, you could discuss it later with your agent.

“Whatever, what about the hike?” Dieter asked as he lighted up a cigarette and played the asshole so well.

And this is how you ended up in the Sonoran desert on a Saturday afternoon, you and your co-star. The sun was unforgiving, the air so dry that your lips were about to get chap if you didn’t reapply the balm now and then (if this was unforgiving, imagine the real thing). 

You wanted to prove to the studio you were star material so you kept to yourself every possible complaint as the van crossed the desert. Dieter seemed a little happier, a sweaty mess of curls. Inside the van, you caught him staring at you a few times.

Because you were sneaking glances at him too. How could you not? His broad shoulders on a tight t-shirt that got loose around his waistline, his neck glistening from sweat. God, you wanted to bite him there and taste his skin. Acting like a gentleman, he was carrying the backpack the studio provided for you two in an unusual kindness.

As you left the van and walked out, you felt the dust filling your lungs and hated yourself for accepting this absurdity. Dieter immediately put on his sunglasses, trying to shut down his discomfort. Great, at least you weren’t the only one suffering.

The fitness coach for the production team gave you some instructions as he put a map and a satellite radio in Dieter’s hands.

“Pay attention ‘cause I’m only gonna say it once. Your task is to do this hike as smoothly as possible without much equipment. The trail is marked on this map, see that mountain over there? We’ll be waiting for you behind it. The radio is for emergencies only. Any questions?”

Of course, why not make it in fucking Survivor style?

“How much time do we have to complete it?” Checking your surroundings, you could see mostly flat surfaces with eventual rocks and yellowish green, mostly cactuses and small shrubs. The mountain was rocky in an orange undertone, you could do it without much worry, even if you were pissed off.

“Four hours. Good luck!” And just like that, the coach jumped back on the van and left you and Dieter alone.

You were still incredulous at how the studio cared so little for your well-being by pushing their cast like that. Why the hell would a simple hike take four hours? Looking at the man, he seemed so fucking lost at how the trail was marked.

Scratching the nape of his neck, his eyes trying to make a way out of his map-reading skills. His mouth was slightly open, the tongue placed in a corner. You could be turned on a little by the sight, but instead noticed that the map was upside down.

Without much patience, you got from his big hands (not without gaining a little “hey!” as a response) and put it in the right direction. A muttered “oh” came from him and you started to walk.

“That was impressive,” he tried to get chatty following your step, eyes still on the map.

“Identifying the right side of it?” His cheeks got warmer and he nodded, you were starting to believe that maybe he was just shy.

The truth is that you never paid much attention to Dieter Bravo. You knew that he got an Oscar a few years ago, that he did a horrible blockbuster franchise that later turned into a cult classic winning documentary, and that TMZ loved to tease about his drug addiction.

His bigger than life persona seemed so fake after meeting him in flesh and bone. Your agent told you that Dieter had been clean for longer than it seemed by the public eye — hadn't used again since the rehab post-divorcing a woman who was 20 years younger than him. That for sure would be enough to wear anyone out.

“Do you want to keep it? You’re clearly better than me at it,” he tried with a soft voice after a few seconds of silence. A hand offered you the map while his eyes avoided yours.

“Not really. C’mon, show me the way,” you smiled trying to be friendly.

Trying, that’s the word, because the second he saw your smile he scuffed again. In a second, he started marching down not waiting for you to follow.

Something was off, maybe he wanted someone different for the role? Perhaps an actress more known by the public? Maybe a friend? It didn’t matter, you wouldn’t allow him to get under your skin.

A few feet into the track, there were no words between you. A scorching day, way too hot for your taste, and he was the one carrying the backpack with your water bottle.

“Stop.” You hissed, the angry tone getting out before you could diminish it. He immediately dropped everything and turned around to you with round eyes. “Could you pass me the bottle, please?”

“Oh, sure. Sorry.” 

His big hands opened the backpack quickly in a clumsy way, as he found the bottle you extended your hand so he could carefully place it there, his fingers caressing a little yours (or that was what you imagined).

“Why did you say sorry?” After a big gulp, you asked without thinking, just curious.

Dieter, on the other hand, was panicking a little bit. Scratching his beard, poking his tongue out as he processed his answer. 

“I-I don’t want to invade your space,” he sounded genuine, waiting for a response from you but your only reaction was to shoot your eyebrows, “I mean it. I was once too fresh meat and the studio executives are vultures.”

With sunglasses down his nose bridge, his eyes twinkled beautifully and you felt your knuckles relaxing with the conclusion that he wanted to say something more, but wouldn’t. He swallowed dry waiting for your response.

“It’s fine. We’ll be shooting together soon and this is the first time we’re talking. Can’t we just start over?”

Dieter had a dimple, a cute one even that only showed up when he smiled lopsided. In the first minutes after your proposal, you found out that he wasn’t exactly shy, he was talkative.

You don’t know how he was doing it, with the dry weather and the relentless heat. And yet, he had one hand holding the backpack strap and the other moving in the air as he explained the benefits of doing yoga with baby goats.

“And they are so, so fucking soft! Have you ever touched a baby goat fur?” His eyes got bigger as you shook your head, incredulous even. “That’s it! I’m booking us a session when we arrive at the set! Trust me, it's the best thing ever!”

“I don’t know if it’ll be that easy considering we’re shooting in the middle of the desert,” you chuckled and he nodded very seriously.

“You’re right, I might need to fly them there. Should have put it on my contract…” He replied lost in a train of thoughts that made sense only for him.

“Uhm, Dieter, haven’t we walked by here before?”

Either the sun made your mind play tricks or you were sure that you got lost. The mountain wasn’t any closer, the vegetation around was in a similar pattern too… Oh fuck.

“Let me see the map, please,” he pouted as if you didn’t trust him.

And damn right you didn’t, the map was upside down again.

“We’ve been walking all this time in the wrong direction! You said you could show the way!” Snapping at him, you raised your voice and immediately felt guilty looking into his puppy eyes.

“I told you that you were better than me at it!” He didn’t shout or raise his voice, simply pouted sadly.

Grumply, you defined a new route and got quiet once more. Dieter followed you a little shyer than before, you pounded his words in the back of your mind, “I don’t want to invade your space” and realized that the same way he hadn’t spoken with you properly, you weren’t treating him courteously.

“I’m not mad, fyi. Just angry with the heat, that’s all.” Without lifting your eyes from the paper, just nodding your head in his direction.

“Thank god, ‘cause I couldn’t take the silence anymore!” He sighed dramatically dropping his head like a diva after a minor occurrence. “You’re really good at it, what’s your secret?”

“Not a secret, I grew up in a road trip kind of family. I’m the shotgun.”

That and being a girl scout, but you were terrible and it was a long time ago, he didn’t need that information. Even more when his deeply furrowed eyebrows confirmed that he had enough food for thought.

“What is the strangest thing you saw on the road?” No teasing in his voice, he was an oddball.

“I don’t know. Oh wait, I do know: a cookie cutter museum.” His face lightened up immediately.

This is how you learned, again, that Dieter is a chatterbox. The difference is that you also learned that you liked to hear his deep voice so close to your ear. Sometimes he would get so excited that he would bump into you, the first time you got goosebumps, but now you were craving his body heat.

He was slowly showing you his true colors. Milk chocolate was his favorite. The triangle tattoo on his arm was an inside joke with his dad who used to say that his mind was lost at the Bermuda Triangle. He painted in his free time, it relaxes him and he would love to make a portrait of your orange cat after shooting.

For someone so inside his head, he also enjoyed learning about you. What was your first word? Are you a salty or sweet kind of person? If the world ended tomorrow, what would you do for the last time? Do you think technology will eventually kill us all? Where do you want to eat after the hike?

You don’t remember the last time someone wanted to know you as a whole. Dieter almost fell as you walked because he was too busy bumping his shoulder on yours and looking into your eyes whenever you opened your mouth. Clingy and adorable.

“I’m getting hungry, can’t believe that the studio didn’t pack food. SAGA must have a rule against it or something,” he mumbled as you traced a plan for crossing the mountain.

The terrain was rockier than you imagined, a little too risky for his clumsiness. If you were to go by the sides, it could take longer than expected. You decided to go little by little up the rocks, at least you wouldn’t have to climb it.

“Dieter, eyes here,” you pointed to yours and he happily obliged, “we’re going up this mountain. You can’t slip, alright? Mind your step.”

He nodded quickly and did his best following you closely, watching where you walked by. It was quiet as he tried to concentrate, contrasting to the constant rambling from minutes ago.

Step by step, you go up the mountain getting dizzier. Your nostrils on fire, your throat getting raspier as you started to breathe with your mouth. Stopping for a few seconds, you signed Dieter to stop walking.

For someone in recovery, he was surprisingly in better shape than you. In his clumsy way, he opened the backpack to grab you water (without you having to ask, he learned your signals) but got the zipper stuck.

“Damn it, hold on,” he mumbled, cutting you before telling him to stay out of the border. He wasn’t fully looking at where he was and you had less than a second before he almost fell.

Right there, at the path border. Up high. He was about to become one with the desert, if not for your grip on his hand pulling him towards you.

His chest was up close to yours, you could smell his sweat mixed with expensive perfume. His hands were displayed on your waist by impulse, but it didn’t matter, you could feel all his fingers in your body. His eyes were no longer covered by the orange-tinted sunglasses, they were instead boring into yours.

“I told you, be careful. Do you have a death wish?” You whispered like a small prayer, not moving.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered back, putting pressure on your waist before you realized that the backpack was no longer with him.

“Dieter, where is the backpack?” His eyes got bigger, his eyebrows shot up.

“It felt. It rolled down the mountain. Sorry.”

Shoving his body from yours, you took a look at the mountainsides and couldn't find a single trace of the damn backpack.

“No, no, no… Where is the map? And the water?” You looked at his hands that were caressing your body so sweetly seconds ago with anger. “DIETER!”

His face was a deep shade of pink.

“You were so tired, I wanted to give you water, but the stupid zipper wasn’t working an-” you screamed and he shushed.

“How are we supposed to cross this fucking mountain now? Huh?” He shrugged self-consciously as you scratched the top of your head. “Fuck. Fine, pass me the radio, I need to talk with the studio.”

His face was a deeper shade of pink.

“Are you kidding me? Oh fuck, I can’t believe it!”

Taking a deep breath, you looked at the sun's position and tried to force any memory of what you were supposed to know from the scouts. You could see your shadow, your body proportions were almost right, which means it was pointing to the east, right? How the fuck people count the hours with shadows?

Your dilemma was over as soon as you noticed Dieter wasn't anywhere near you. Where the hell was the man? Did he just leave you alone and try to find the way by himself? Worst, did he fall and you didn’t notice?

 This is the exact moment when you decided two things: 1. Your agent would be fired as soon as you got signal, 2. Dieter was a full pain in the ass. Forget about having the starlet breakout of your dreams, you were about to murder whoever cast you both together.

Maybe you already murdered Dieter, who knows!

In a pure panic, shouting his name to the four corners of the wind, you hear a muffled sound coming from the shrubs. You scan the area until you see there, at the bottom of the mountain, a big hand waving the radio at you. So not dead, just stupid, that’s better.

“No! Don't... Touch that, for fuck’s sake!” You yell at him once you think you recognize the type of plant he was just now. He is oblivious to your concern, laughing mischievously as he finds a way out of the shrub that you are sure to be some kind of poison ivy. “You have a minute to come up here!”

It takes more than a minute, but his clumsy feet find its way to you. His skin looks fine, you never claimed to be a good girl scout, below average in fact. He is smiling big with the backpack in his hands. You want to scream at him, but he shoves the water bottle in your hands.

“Drink it, then you can yell at me,” he says with a smirk, the dimple showing up in its glory.

“I thought you fell! You need to tell me things!” You shout angrily but drink the water anyway. Your eyes never leaving his, as if he would disappear once more.

“Don’t be dramatic, I made a mistake, I fixed it. You’re the brains, c’mon, look at the map!”

His hand is anchoring you to the ground, thumb casually caressing your shoulder. You melt into his touch before finding your exact position. Okay, not that bad, still on time. Deciding it was good news, you look at Dieter’s face and panic once more.

A rash was slowly appearing on his tanned skin. From his neck to his arms, like a new tattoo. Dieter managed to make you worry more times in one day than the whole previous year by yourself. Not a great moment to feel proud about your girl scout skills.

“Please tell me that you looked around that shrub before recovering the backpack,” you urge looking closer at his skin, he huffs, but now in good humor.

“What do you me- OH FUCK, NO!” You show him his arm and he emits a guttural howl surprising you. “DO SOMETHING!”

“Who is the dramatic now, huh? Calm down, we just need to finish this mountain first. We are stuck, remember?”

His breathing is irregular, he is holding tight to your hand. His face screams discomfort. Your heart breaks a little. Thinking fast, you decide to act a little silly just like him.

“If I kiss it better, will you go up this mountain so we can get into the van AC?”

The twinkle from his eyes is back, the shyness too as he nods and moves his head towards yours. Before you can process it, Dieter Bravo is giving you a sweet kiss. The type of kiss that makes you thankful for bringing a lip balm with you, because his lips are so soft on yours. His hand holding your jaw delicately like you are fine china, his mustache tickling your skin deliciously. Fuck, his taste is addictive.

“Finally! I couldn’t wait any longer,” he confess on your lips still.

“What do you mean? You couldn’t even look at my face until I proposed a truce,” you question and he rolls his eyes before putting a little more space between your bodies, but still holding your face.

“Have you ever heard about being professional? I wanted to kiss you since I saw your audition video. You were the best by far, it was an easy choice for casting, but terrible for everything else.”

He knows you are about to complain about what he means with “everything else”, so he kisses you once more and continues as if nothing happened.

“You are a talented actress, didn’t want to make you feel like you haven’t earned your place by shameless flirting with you. Even if you made it really hard by being so nice and hot.”

“For context, “kiss it better” was about kissing your hand.” His smile drops as his eyes get bigger, now it is you who kisses him before he can say something. “But I like your version better, though. And I’m not nice, I yelled at you at least three times today.”

“Oh, sweetheart. You are such a type A. You have no idea how much I enjoyed that,” he smirks and you huff, but pleasantly.

If before he was clumsy and clingy, now he is double and you don’t mind at all. After roughly three hours and half, you arrive at the studio van, just in time to see Dieter explain awkwardly how the radio got broken to the fitness coach, who is putting some kind of lotion on his rashes.

You follow your co-star to the van’s seats, sitting by his side as he opens his phone and puts all his focus there. Maybe you wouldn’t fire your agent, just ignore the next time he says something is harmless: Dieter is a walking hazard and a pain in the ass, but a very enjoyable one.

“Ha! They don’t have a baby goat yoga class, but I found a duck one. I’m gonna book it. It’s a duck farm, you can even hold the babies, look!” He is shoving his phone in your face and you must admit, the babies are indeed cute.

“We have months until the shooting, wouldn’t be better to wait until we arrive there?” Shoving his phone back in his pocket, he looks very seriously into your eyes. You shiver, thinking it might be the AC in your sweaty heated skin, but knowing it is Dieter being sure that he will still want your company down the road.

“Let me be the shotgun this time. You point the direction and I plan everything else, have you already decided where do you want to eat? ‘Cause my only plan is to follow your lead.”

You have no idea about where to eat tonight, but you are sure that the two beds the director promised won’t be necessary once you and Dieter get a shared room.

[goryhorroor]

Horror tv series?

ooh ok i'll give a big list:

channel zero (it's first season is the best), a haunting of hill house, american horror story (imo only up to season 3 are good), yellowjackets, lovecraft county, midnight mass, them (this is brutual tred lightly), interview with the vampire (THIS ONE), brand new cherry flavor, chucky, the terror, cabinet of curiosities, archive 81, evil, hannibal, the fall of the house of usher, katla, cracow monster, marianne, twilight zone (OG BABY), slasher (imo season 1), penny dreadful (it gets bad but season 1 is good), from, mindhunter (more thriller but idc im saying horror), the outsider, the haunting of bly manor, castle rock, hemlock grove (that was my like 2014 phase show; i had all the seasons on dvd), what we do in the shadows, masters of horror, twin peaks, creepshow, ash vs evil dead, the exorcist (i only watched season 1), z nation (was my personality once upon a time), hammer house of horror, salem, scream (it was good ok it could had been even better but they got rid of all the original cast by like i think season 4), van helsing, pretty little liars: original sin, dead boy detectives (it's more teen dramaish kinda but i love it), bates motel, the sandman (does this count as horror??), sweet home, true blood (i think it starts to fall off tho in later seasons), all of us are dead, the strain, and servant.

[warningsine]

If any of the followers wants to help, it'd be appreciated.

So. What's an adult TV series that has

complex/compelling female leads (don't have to be queer, but it's a bonus if there are some) or an ensemble cast with a lot of women,

an engaging story,

has a somewhat active/enthusiastic fandom on here (doesn't have to be HOTD or "Yellowjackets" levels of enthusiastic).

I dropped "Good Girls" again after finishing the first two episodes of season 4, because as much as I love the ladies, the arcs are repetitive af at this point.

I wanted to watch "The Good Fight" and "Black Sails," but I'm afraid they'll have to wait. "The L Word" and "Orphan Black" too.

Some of the series I enjoyed at some point:

"The Handmaid's Tale," OITNB, "I May Destroy You," "Unbelievable," "Veep," "Dead Ringers," "The Good Wife," "My Brilliant Friend," "The Returned," "Bad Sisters," "Chewing Gum," "Black Earth Rising," "Mrs. America," "GLOW," "Kevin Can Fuck Himself," "Big Little Lies," "Night Country," "Top of the Lake," "Godless," "Frontera Verde," "Ethos," "One Night," "The Power," "Girls5eva," "UnREAL," "Damages," "Insecure," "Unorthodox," "P-Valley," "Russian Doll," "Hacks," "Grace and Frankie," "Shining Girls," "Killing Eve," "Fleabag," "Why Women Kill," "Poker Face," "The Queen's Gambit," "Borgen," "Mare of Easttown," "Irma Vep," "Alias Grace," "Miss Sherlock," "Last Tango in Halifax," "The Fall," "The Bletchey Circle," "Servant," "We Are Lady Parts," "Made for Love," "Claws," "The Girlfriend Experience," "Dear White People," "Little Fires Everywhere," "Sharp Objects," "Lovecraft Country," “The Underground Railroad," "Under the Bridge," "Derry Girls" (<-a teen series, but I made an exception because everyone here told me it was worth it), “Station Eleven," "The Great," "Beef," "She's Gotta Have It," "Twenties," "Olive Kitteridge," "Enlightened," "Babylon Berlin," "Deadloch," "Vida," "Feel Good," "Gentleman Jack," "La Casa de las Flores" (<-never let it be said I don't enjoy millennial telenovelas).

Female fronted series I haven't finished:

HTGAWM, "Wentworth" (<-couldn't get into it).

Series I was/am kinda meh about:

"The Wilds" (<-"Yellowjackets" all the way), "Dead to Me," "Roar," "The Fosters," "Lost Girl," "Westworld" (<-post season 1), "The Haunting of Bly Manor" (not big on Flanagan's works), “Bridgerton," "Ratched," "Dickinson."

Series I haven't tried yet:

"The Diplomat," "Harlots," "Gilded Age," "The Bold Type" (<-surprisingly, it doesn't seem like my thing), "Workin' Moms," "Girlfriends Guide to Divorce," "Happy Valley," "Halt and Catch Fire," "West Wing," "Broadchurch," "The Split," "A Small Light," "Scandal," "For All Mankind," "Mindhunter," "Sense8," "1899," "Utopia," "Transparent," "The Morning Show," "Rain Dogs," The Mindy Project," "Vigil," "High Fidelity," "Only Murders in the Building," "Julia," "Pen15," "Weeds," "Girls."

[gremlinmodetweeker]

I LOVE your eldritch horror kinky story! I can’t get enough of it! Were you inspired by HP Lovecraft? Where did you get your knowledge of eldritch horror because I love the genre and would love to read more

Okay so, SO, I have a lot I take reference from. The big one yes is Lovecraft, of course. I read his stories, but then I went on to read a bunch of Call of Cthulhu mysteries and ran a couple of Call of Cthulhu campaigns (ttrpg) and stuff like that. I also just consume cosmic horror everywhere I can! A big resource for Eldritch!König is really based on Lovecraft plus a couple of SUPER COOL video games.

The first game is Dredge, which is beautiful and stunning and through the story isn't too exciting, the world? OH MAN THE WORLD. Also, I love the ocean and fish and marine biology so that shit is just my game. I'm into it big time.

Another game is World of Horror, which is heavily based off Junji Ito's work. If Lovecraft isn't your jam, try reading some Junji Ito mangs. They're extremely graphic, but also the stories are wild and super cool. A lot of the times, people don't pick up on the social commentary on Japanese culture in his works.

Speaking of manga, Berserk? Crazy good, but read up on the trigger warnings before reading because despite being (imho) one of the best mangas of all time, it has graphic SA and abuse and gore.

Bioshock and Fallout also heavily inspired the bug horror (though I haven't finished either game but shhhhhh).

Finally, the classics inspire me. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley is genuinely one of my favourite books of all time. The themes it explores? The imagery? The characters? All incredible. Just a beautiful book that I desperately needed to read when I was in high school. The monster's dialogue really hit home for me when I was a very depressed teen struggling to find hope and friendship in high school.

Various different body horror artists and analogue horrors also heavily inspire Eldritch!König. It's a big mix.

My main elements when writing him are incorporating marine and cosmic (astronomical) horror with him. I also notice I tend to rely on bugs a lot, despite his biology not being bug-like at all. I will say, he has tentacles and a beak under his mask, but that's about all that your mind can comprehend (also let's be honest, he's not gonna let you see anything else). When I think of how I want to write his horror, I sometimes think of Over the Garden Wall or a Ghibli movie with how he interacts with horror. To him, it's mundane. To you, it's shit-balls crazy off the walls insanity. He genuinely does not get why you find it so foreign until he remembers that you're a human.

I do want to write more gore and horror with him, but I haven't found a good opportunity... If you have any suggestions, let me know. I want to have Eldritch!König fuck somebody up. His tentacles are crawling for kills...