#that being said the whole situation is hilarious

[currentlybeltingbohemianrhapsody]

Can we please not use this leak as an excuse to spread the "Neil is homophobic" bullshit again? Like I'm not trying to say that he has handled this situation perfectly but let's not pretend that this is anything other than a writer getting mad that his story is not being told the way he wants it to be. Let's not forget that he literally wrote the script, m'kay?

[morporkian-cryptid]

I went into the new Night Vale episode honestly thinking they were going to pull another "what do you mean the previous episode ended on a cliffhanger no no nothing happened" and we wouldn't hear of Kevin or the Boy in at least two years.

And then the episode was titled "He is still holding a knife" XD

[grumpy-nyks]

The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Agnes edition

Who would have thought? 🤭

Agnes "Nes" Sigrún 🌑RO: James Corvin

Personality: sincerity // cautious // friendly // merciful Traits: heart // compliance // believer Past affinity: writing [horror stories] Primary ability: empathetic impressions Past susceptibility: receptive

☀️Fernweh: She never really thought about leaving Fernweh… It was her place, near her family and friend(s). She felt good there and assumed she’s gonna spend her whole life happily in this little town. Even if Fernweh brings back devastating memories, she’s curious about what’s happening in Fernweh now, in her true home. It’s always been her dream to work in Turn The Page, and during her ‘short’ stay in Fernweh, she started thinking about it again. Why not stay for longer…? She would love to carry on her grandfather’s work and bring his legacy justice. 

☀️Grandpa Jóhann: When she was young, she had an amazing relationship with her grandpa. They were completely honest with each other, and she loved him wholeheartedly. Some people thought that making her grandpa proud was her main hobby. She used to tell him all about her dreams that she had, which were always wild... and also about the nightmares… It took her by surprise when her grandpa, one of the most important people in her life, started being less involved. She was hurt and began to wonder if she had done something to cause the distance between them. His decision to move her out of Fernweh so quickly after this tragic event made a huge impact on her mental state. She needed time to cope and be with her closest ones, especially her grandpa...but after all she didn't blame him. She often heard that she looked exactly like her mother…like her grandpa's daughter... She assumed he could not look at her, without thinking about her... And she could not blame him for wanting to escape that pain. Agnes knew it was the best thing that her grandpa could do for him, and she accepted it, too eagerly. She always too eagerly took the blame for everything.

☀️Beckett Warrick: After what happened in Fernweh after James she had even more trouble interacting with other people and making new friends… However, Beckett was an exception. He was the first person who got to truly know her after the events in Fernweh. When she got the letter about her Grandpa, she considered hiding the truth from him, because she knew deep down that he would be there for her if she needed him… even if he would not particularly enjoy it. It's a good thing she’s such a bad liar… Her main concern is about Beckett’s well-being. She noticed that this 'little' trip made a huge impact on him. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and it’s because of her that he–... She needs to make sure that nothing happens to her friend. And she will somehow manage to bring him back to his home.

☀️Reese Verner: They had an unconventional relationship. Reese saw her as a rival, while Agnes thought of him as a friend. She was confused about why Verner, someone of great importance, would even look at her see her as a rival. She knew there were better candidates for his games. She had only one question on her mind - “why?”. Despite Verner's playful teasing, Agnes always remained polite and friendly towards him, even when he attempted to push her boundaries. Girl knew how to keep her true feelings behind a warm smile she still does. If I can be completely honest… Agnes was rather shocked that Reese still remembered her… and was actually looking for her, which sounded so unbelievably. His concern for Milton's well-being made her see him in a slightly different light. Of course, she already knew Reese had a good heart, but his behaviour really touched her. Additionally, Agnes noticed that Reese and James’ relationship became stronger and deeper… It’s for the best. James deserves someone as dependable as Reese. He will always be there for James. 

☀️Sofia Dorran: Their bond was formed over a shared admiration for books and... the color blue. It may sound funny now, but these things became central to their lives and deepened their friendship. Sofia was the first person Agnes entrusted with her writing, and valued her honest feedback, knowing that Sofia would not make her feel bad if something needed improvement. They frequently borrowed books from each other's collections. Agnes yearned for the days when she and Sofia had reading sessions together, sipping on their favorite beverage. The only issue back then was when the book ended poorly or their library didn't have any new positions for them to read. She's willing to know how Sofia's taste toward books shifted (if shifted) and how she changed as a person. She's also extremely grateful because her grandfather received constant care from Sofia and her mother.

🌑James Corvin: …Do I really need to tell you that James was her first crush? And that she never found the courage to tell him so? maybe now will be the time? Agnes and James were always together, wherever one went the other followed. They were inseparable. Agnes even used to bake oatmeal cookies for James with her mother's help. They dreamed of their idyllic life together. As friends, obviously. Seeing him again after all those years was much harder than she anticipated. Agnes felt overwhelmed with stress from the moment she stepped out of her car. Every time she heard his surname, she unknowingly flinched. Her mind was full of questions about his well-being, life, and changes. She couldn't help but wonder if he would be happy to see her. …she did manage to hold his hand for a moment, I can consider it as a success

☀️Alex Corvin: Agnes has always looked up to Alex for their adventurous spirit and their willingness to embrace life to the fullest. She has always wanted to adopt a bit of Alex' wild side. Whenever they are around, boredom and dullness seem to disappear. They both share similar values and support each other's life goals. If I would say which person Agnes was the most willing to meet during her stay in Fernweh that would be Alex. She was confident in their friendliness towards everybody and was sure that their kindness had not wavered. Agnes was touched when she heard that Alex was looking after her grandfather's bookstore… It appears that Beckett has a new admirer, which Agnes wholeheartedly approves of.

☀️Mal: Agnes has a sense that Mal might be suspicious, but she is quite naive and doesn't believe that he could mean trouble. Although she is wary of him and finds him a little untrustworthy, Agnes believes in being kind to everyone, and she is willing to give Mal a chance, not judging him by her own impressions of him.

☀️Goldie: Agnes is grateful that her grandfather had a furry companion like Goldie, who probably managed to brighten his spirits. She fondly recalls how her grandfather would tell her stories when he once had a dog, when he was younger and how his eyes would light up with joy as he shared his story. Agnes is committed to taking excellent care of Goldie and ensuring her safety.

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I just went through my ask and, of course, there were a few r*df*ms on my ask and one that swore they were not one of them despite the fact that they spouted the same talking points. Yeah, right.

[confused-wanderer]

It would be hilarious if villains loved Nightwing and were terrified of Officer Dick Grayson.

Dick Grayson- who is used to open spaces and adrenaline- being stuck in a boring bleak office, surviving on shots of coffee and red bull with caffeine that would make Tim concerned.

The thugs soon realised that unlike most of the other cops - Dick was from Gotham.

No one fucks with Gothamites.

Villain *shooting at Dick with machine guns*

Dick *appearing from the shadows behind him*: Boo.

Villain: THIS IS A FIVE STOREY BUILDING HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE

Or

Thief *throwing a counting down bomb at Dick*

Dick: *catching and tossing the bomb at a safe distance before turning round and shooting it so it explodes mid air while running after thief*

Thief: .. what the actual fuck

Dick: Gee look at all that time you had! Shame you threw it away :D

Thief:

Dick: I’m from Gotham

Thief *realising they fucked up* : Please don’t steal my bones

OR

Shooter: *sets elaborate booby traps throughout the houses in an active hostage situation*

Dick *using his training as robin and inhuman flexibility to surpass them with ease*: Ah been a while since I got to have a nice stretch thank you.

Shooter:

Dick:

Shooter:

Dick: .. Hi :)

Shooter: Are you Satan?

AND

In interrogation room

Murderer: I think I’ll take your eyes and add them to my collection

Dick *running on spite and caffeine that could give Superman a sugar rush* : Funny.. I was going to say the same thing to you

Murderer: .. what

Dick: I wouldn’t take your eyes though.. they look like the inspiration behind the whole Medusa’s “look at it and you turn to stone” thing-

Murderer: Hey! Take that back before I gut you

Dick *smile stretching wider without blinking* : oh? Or what? I know everything about you. Who says I can’t kill you and walk out with everyone being none the wiser? I know how to kill someone too..you aren’t special.

Murderer:

Murderer: I’m scared for my safety.

Because the thing is, Nightwing is who Dick really is. It’s who he can be free as, be himself as without red tapes and regulations. Where he can give as good as he gets, and he’s kind and empathetic. He gets to help the downtrodden and goes easy on most of them if they give up right away, not to mention the fact that he never causes permanent damage.

But officer Dick Grayson is a different story. He runs on sleepless nights and no self preservation. Seeing an officer with an uncanny skill set they’re scarily good at, not to mention the cheery attitude he always has scares the shit out of criminals. Cuz no way in hell is a smiling Gothamite not a deranged one. He chases crimes like a bloodhound, and isn’t afraid to make good on threats he makes to ensure they never hurt anyone again.

Bonus if the batfam doesn’t know about this.

Red hood: Shit I can’t believe we ended up in Bludhaven

Red Robin *tying up the corrupt politican* : Since this is a sensitive case, we need someone we can trust to make sure it is seen through.

Red hood: .. So we paying a visit to Officer Grayson?

Politician *screeching* : NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NOT HIM!! JUST KILL ME INSTEAD AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY I CANT DEAL WITH HIM!

Red hood: .. is he fucking serious?

Henchmen: Sir he is. And we agree. Please take our bones and kill us but don’t take us to Officer Grayson.

Red Robin: Wait what did he do?

Henchman 1: He asked boss if the hat was sentient.. and said that if it was would it make that hat the top and boss the bottom.

Henchman 2: Last time we met I tried to shoot him but suddenly my gun was blank and he raised his hand and let the ammo drop

Red Hood: Well even I could do that-

Henchman 2: They were my bullets. I had selected the colour personally.

Red robin *growing concerned*

Henchman 3: He sang a lullaby to a child when we were holding the station hostage, and replaced the people with my family members. He even sang their social security numbers!

Henchman 4: He’s the most dangerous of them all. I ain’t shitting ya when I say he’s as scary as the bat from Gotham.

*all nodding in agreement*

Red hood:

Red Robin:

Red hood: Nah that doesn’t sound like Dick

Red Robin: Agreed. Let’s go there Hood.

*villains’ sobbing intensifies*

[silkythewriter]

I had an idea for a few headcanons you could do if ya want—

Maybe Sir Pentious with a reader who is so obviously in love with him, and keeps pining over him while literally everyone else but Sir Pentious himself can tell they like him? Like he's just really oblivous until reader finally straight up tells him.

Sir Pentious with a clearly in love reader!(●’◡’●)❤︎︎

Warnings!: Non!

Fandoms!:Hazbin hotel!

Author’s note!: HI HI OMG I LOVE SIR PENTIOUS HES SO SILLY!!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID

Summary!: reader who’s clearly in love with our favorite snake demon

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! ❤️

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

“Call me, you can call me

Boy, just call me (call me, call me)

While you stalling, I'm evolving

I'd give all me”

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

!🐍✨Sir Pentious✨🐍!

First of all, just to get out of the way, THIS MAN IS OBLIVIOUS!!!!, Autism be damned my boy can pull without even telling!!!!!

No but in all seriousness he is oblivious to your obvious longing for him.

Everyone can see you giving him shy longing stares only for him to be ranting about his latest invention. Not only would he not be able to tell but he’d always think your just being nice!

Of course he’s crushing hard behind his bedroom door to his little eggs. Happily stating and going on rambles of how gorgeous you looked today. He’d state everything! From the new hair style you tried to the new piece of clothing you bought and wore. When I mean he notices everything I mean it, but for some reason he can’t pick up on your obvious love for him.

The way he could stare in your eye as you tell him he looks breathtaking and still think you mean it just to be nice is astonishing. OF COURSE HES BLUSHING AND KICKING HIS TAIL, but he can’t bring himself to think you like him anymore than just friends!

He’d go to his egg boys and sadly rant on how you’ll only see him as friend. And the egg boys all share one Brain cell so they can’t tell you like him aswell!, maybe they might accidentally spill, or almost spill the secret of him liking you but he quickly knocks them away before you can make sense of what their saying.

All the residents watch as you do your best to drop hints only for him to complete miss it. Even angel cringes as he watches him completely be oblivious to the obvious flirting, it’s take Charlie and Vaggie to stop him from pointing out the obvious.

Husk almost always gives Sir Pentious as gaze of just utter confusion and tiredness.

He’d gladly take flowers from you that you gifted him and take care of it for weeks on end without realizing the romantic gesture!

Alastor, as always finds it humorous, although he usually doesn’t indulge himself in romantic like things he’s find it hilarious. “Even with three eyes he still can’t see the obvious! Ha!”

Charlie tries to help to the best of her ability to help guid him the right direction but it’s just end up with him more confused. Vaggie just face slaps internally,

honestly the whole crew wasn’t having high hopes for him as dim as that is. , look! He ain’t bad looking, but not many people would prefer his clumsy self, so they were honestly hoping he’d figure it out before you possibly moved on.

Even when your upset at the obvious frustrating situation he’s still be confused while trying to do his best to comfort you.

“Well I think the man isss clearly as dumb as a rock!”

It took you starring dead in his eyes for him to question if you were alright. Before you stated it was him

The way he just stood staring at you in pure disbelief, before snapping out of it and embarrassed as his previous words. But after the said embarrassment he’s full with giddy, why of course you love him!, he’s the great sir pentious!

Yea his embarrassment would quickly turn into pride, considering he got someone as beautiful as you to fall for him.

Definition of a clumsy gentlemen, he’d open doors so fast it’d smack him in the face, or pull when it’s a push door and be confused why it’s not opening.(´ω｀💧)

He’s just a silly lil guy! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

I feel like the crew in the hotel would be relief to find he finally figured out.

At the end of the night he’s squealing like a high school girl as he rambles to his egg boys about you in a new light!.

He’s gift you small little trinkets or happily spend hours with you talking!

He’s as lovesick as your are! He’s just a bit dense when it comes to accepting the fact you love.

It’s like the roles switched! Now he’s daydreaming-ly staring at you happy to have you as his, and him a yours.

Like I’ve said before! He’s a total drama queen, he can’t help it!, deny him a kiss teasingly? He’s crumbling down to the ground and holding his chest as if he just had a heart attack! (¬_¬)

He’s not at all secretive of his love for you, even if he wants to, to keep his image “professional”, he just can’t help and dote on you!

overall he’s a big dote and softy even if he tries to hide it, loves you with his whole being! ( ˘ω˘ ) He can a be a bit over the top sometimes but you’ll come to accept it! And hey who wouldn’t want a silly snake demons who’s tripping over their tail for you. Yea you got him in and over his head but he wouldn’t have it any other way. The roles have truly reversed(≖ᴗ≖✿)

☆✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬✬☆

I LOVE HIS SILLY LIL SELF SO MUCH MORE PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE FOR HIM :(. TYSM FOR THE REQUEST I LOVED IT SM!!!! PLEASE COME AGAIN!!

[twstowo]

Ik your inbox is closed so you can delete this or whatever but the way you write I feel like would fit good with reader/mc/yuu/you having horrible eyesight so they use glasses and then someone like (as an example) Ace or Floyd being really annoying or making reader mad so they just take off their glasses and saying something like “I don’t even wanna see you right now” before focusing back on whatever they were doing but having to practically shove their face it in cause they’re nearsighted and can’t see for shit… but yeah you can throw this out I just wanted to write it out before I forget

♡︎I had some ideas for this so here it is!

♡︎Also I'm glad to know that you think about my writing that much Anon. <3

⋆⋅☆Ace

If you think Ace will be annoyed or stopped by this, you’re wrong. First of all, he’d find it hilarious. The fact that he annoyed you so much that you took your glasses off and said, “I don’t even want to see you right now”?“Ok Four eyes!” That’s going to replay in his head for days. But when he realizes you’re actually ignoring him, he doesn’t find it nearly as funny anymore.

At first, he might brush it off, thinking you’re just giving him the silent treatment. But the more you ignore him, the more his irritation grows. He starts hovering around you more, throwing out little comments, trying to bait a reaction. But you don’t budge and stand firm.

If you ever ask him in the future if he was annoyed, he’ll play it cool and make fun of the situation. But deep down, it bothers him that you ignored him.

⋆⋅☆Floyd

He grabs your glasses and tries them on, only to state the obvious: “You really are blind, Shrimpy!”

Floyd, however, doesn’t find it as funny as Ace does. In fact, he probably gets annoyed that you’re ignoring him. And if you thought Ace was annoying, I assure you Floyd is ten times worse. He won’t tolerate being ignored for long—he’ll literally grab you and spin you around if you ignore him for more than two minutes. He isn’t playing games.

If you continue ignoring him, his patience runs out quickly. He’ll get genuinely pissed, drop you, and storm off. Now, he’s the one ignoring you, and you’ll feel the shift. When Floyd’s mad, the whole atmosphere changes, like the air around him gets heavier.

Soon enough, Jade will come over, with that unsettlingly polite smile of his, and ask in the most intimidatingly polite way, “What exactly did you do to my brother? He’s been in quite a foul mood for days now.” You can feel the tension beneath his calm demeanor, as if he’s trying to piece together why Floyd’s usual chaotic energy has disappeared. And with Jade, you know that conversation isn’t just casual curiosity, it’s a warning.

Time to give Floyd attention you guess.

[pucksandpower]

if requests are open, can I pls request baby vettel telling her brothers (the grid kids) she has a "boyfriend" when she comes home from kindergarten one day ??? if requests are closed, please ignore 💗 love your works so much !!

Grid Kids: Cooties

Sebastian Vettel x wife!Reader x platonic!drivers

Summary: the grid kids take being big brothers very seriously

Series Masterlist

“No.”

Max’s voice is firm, his face aghast.

Charles, sitting next to him, nods in agreement. “I thought we agreed that you’re not allowed to date until you’re 40?”

Your daughter looks up from her crayon artwork, her little brows furrowing. “But Tommy said we’re boy ... boyfr …”

Lance interrupts, “Boyfriend and girlfriend? No, no, no. Absolutely not.”

George chimes in, holding up a toy car, “Tell whoever this Tommy is that you’re too busy racing to have a boyfriend.”

Lando adds, “Besides, boyfriends mean cooties. Do you want cooties?”

She tilts her head, pondering the dire consequences of these so-called cooties.

Charles, trying to be the voice of reason, kneels down to her level. “Sweetie, you’re a smart, wonderful little girl. And Tommy is, well ... you can do better.”

Mick, watching the entire exchange, laughs. “Guys, she’s just a kid. They’re probably just sharing crayons.”

Lando looks scandalized, “Crayons today, hearts tomorrow. It’s a slippery slope!”

Sebastian, watching the overprotective madness unfold, turns to you with a smirk, “I think our daughter has a solid set of bodyguards.”

You laugh, wrapping an arm around him. “Good luck to any actual future boyfriends.”

Your daughter simply shrugs, scribbles something on a piece of paper, and hands it to Charles. “For Tommy.”

Charles reads aloud, “We can be friends. But no cooties. Okay?”

***

The next day after school, Max bends down to your daughter’s eye level, “Now, which one is Tommy?”

She points a tiny finger to a little boy playing with a toy car on the playground. He has sandy hair and an innocent expression as he makes car noises.

Lando claps his hands together, “Alright, mates, game faces.”

George rolls his eyes but can’t help his grin, “Really? We’re really doing this?”

Lance nudges him, “We have to ensure he’s good enough for our sister!”

As the grid kids approach Tommy, he looks up, wide-eyed at the small army of grown-ups marching towards him.

Charles squats down, “Hey there, buddy. You Tommy?”

Tommy nods slowly, clutching his toy car.

George, leaning down too, tries to sound stern, “We heard you’re, uh, dating our sister.”

Lando, animatedly acting out air quotes around the word dating, adds, “We just wanted to have a quick chat.”

Mick, clearly finding the whole situation hilarious, jumps in, “You know, about intentions and all.”

Tommy blinks, “Inten-what?”

Max clears his throat, “Look, Tommy, we just want to make sure you’re treating our sister right. No stealing her toys or snacks.”

Lando jumps in again, “And absolutely no cooties. We had a long talk about that.”

Tommy nods fervently, “I don’t have cooties!”

Charles chuckles, “Good to know. So, you’ll play nice with her?”

Tommy nods again, “I promise. I just wanted to show her my new car.” He holds up the toy proudly.

George pats him on the head awkwardly, “Alright, Tommy. Just remember, we’re watching you.”

***

“Operation Sneaky Sneak is a go. Over,” Lando whispers dramatically into his walkie-talkie from his hiding spot behind a bush.

“Copy that,” George responds, trying to peer into Tommy’s living room window from a tree branch, “They’re ... playing with dolls? Oh, and there are some cookies. Over.”

Lance, hidden behind a garden gnome, chimes in, “I hope they're chocolate chip. Over.”

Charles, from his spot on top of a garden shed, adds, “No visual on any suspicious activities. Just some Barbies about to get the worst haircut of their life. Over.”

Mick, wedged between two trash cans, mutters, “Feels like we’re in a bad spy movie.”

Max, crouching behind a car, counters, “Feels? We ARE in a bad spy movie.”

Suddenly, the back door to Tommy’s house swings open and out step his parents, chatting and laughing. The grid kids freeze.

George, panicking, whispers into the walkie-talkie, “Abort mission! I repeat, abort!”

Lance tries to slink away, “Going dark! Going dark! We have been compromised.”

But it’s too late. Tommy’s mother spots them. “Um, gentlemen? What are you doing?”

Charles attempts to play it cool, “Oh, you know, just ... birdwatching. Beautiful sparrows around here.”

Tommy’s father suppresses a grin, “In our backyard? With walkie-talkies?”

Lando, thinking on his feet, responds, “Modern birdwatching. Very high tech. Over.”

Mick gives him a look, “Did you seriously just say over out loud?”

Max tries to salvage the situation, “We just wanted to ensure the playdate went ... smoothly.”

Tommy’s parents burst into laughter. “You guys really care about her, huh?”

Before anyone can respond, there’s a rustling from above. Thunk! “Ow!” Thwack! “Not the face!” Crash! “My hair!”

Everyone’s attention is immediately drawn to George who has dramatically fallen out of the tree, hitting almost every branch on the way down.

Rubbing his back, George groans from where he’s splayed on the ground, “Guess I should leave the climbing to the kids.”

Tommy’s mother takes pity on the fully grown children masquerading as adults in front of her, “Would any of you like to come in for juice boxes?”

The grid kids exchange sheepish glances. “Yes, please,” they reply in unison.

[princessbrunette]

hi princess! i was rereading one of ur fics today and was wondering in what situation rafe would have to use the belt on bunny? it doesn’t seem like he does it a lot :(

no he doesn’t a lot because honestly she behaves for the most part. she’s not bratty and doesn’t really mouth off, so the only time he’s had to use the belt on her was to really get a message across.

◌ ⊹ 🐰 𓏲࣪⋆ 💗 𓄹 ࣪ .

you’d scared him, wandering off around the cut to wind up at barry’s house. you were sweet and way too friendly by nature. rafe knew that, barry clearly knew that. the last time you’d been at his house with rafe, barry had told you that you were welcome to drop by any time and visit him. that you were friends. you being the poor innocent soul that you were had believed him.

you’d shown up on a busier day, clutching a little shoulder bag to your side, tottering along in a mini skirt as barry’s house was occupied with many people. you weren’t used to seeing so many people hang out there, rafe had been careful to only bring you on days where it was just barry infact. he didn’t know what kinds of people barry brought around and didn’t wanna stick around and find out.

a couple of guys jeered at you as you’d walked in, calling out to barry with “yo barry, there’s a lil’ princess at your door.” you didn’t take offence to it, infact you smiled — warming to the nickname. barry was elated to see you, inviting you in, offering you a drink, chatting away. the whole thing to him was hilarious, just another thing to hold over rafe’s head.

you’d texted rafe that you had been there, and he’d arrived within ten minutes, hauling you out of there by the arm. once home, he’d yanked you over his lap — furious.

“you know you put yourself in danger, right? you do that shit on purpose, huh? answer me.” he grits his teeth, gripping the back of your neck when you squirm.

“no! he said he wanted to be my friend!” you wail, humiliated with your panties down by your ankles, ass up on his lap. he scoffs, shaking his head as he frees his belt from his pants.

“yeah… nah, he didn’t want to be your friend. you gotta learn your lesson, alright? i gotta know you’re never gonna pull that shit on me again. that understood?”

“don’t want the belt.” you mewl, and he grips your throat, leaning down to your ear.

“i don’t care what you want…‘kay? it’s a punishment. you’re not meant to like it, kid.”

◌ ⊹ 🐰 𓏲࣪⋆ 💗 𓄹 ࣪ .

[lordprettyflackotara]

dollhouse || jeff the killer || part two

SMUT DNI 18+

“You’re fucking insufferable!

“I’m insufferable? Which one of us fucked up the mission?”

“Obviously you!”

You audibly scoffed. The mission had gone perfectly, minus one tiny little flaw. Neither of you anticipated your getaway car being broken into and stolen. It resulted in a very awkward game of hide and seek, where you both were forced to hide behind a dumpster until someone came to get you. (Ben found the situation hilarious).

Unfortunately for both of you, EJ was the one who was ordered to pick you up. The proxies were used to your and Jeff’s bickering, the three often intervening and picking sides. EJ on the other hand was more reserved, always silently observing and thinking. The final piece to the tragic puzzle, were the three days spent tracking down said car to cover your tracks. In recent years Slender had become more insistent on being careful, making sure no traces of creeps were left behind. With EJ’s sense of smell it wasn’t hard to find the thief, just time consuming.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy torching the car and watching it be engulfed into flames. What you didn’t enjoy, was quite literally everything else. Including the long car ride back to the mansion, which included both you and Jeff sharing the backseat. Originally you both had fought over the passenger seat, EJ quick to manhandle the both of you into the backseat by force. Now you were forced in a confided space with your arch nemesis, one who had came in you days prior.

“I’m not the one who decided to finger paint blood on the wall. Maybe if we had saved the arts and crafts bullshit we’d still have a fucking car,” You argued. You were both still covered in dry blood, exhausted, and filthy. Every ounce of energy you had left was dedicated to spiting at each other. “EJ are you hearing this shit? The whole go to sleep thing is kinda my thing. Not my fault you weren’t clever enough to come up with a signature,” Jeff debated. EJ sighed, ignoring the both of you as he continued driving down the dimly lit road.

“Yeah I can tell your signature was made when you were fourteen. It screams edgy preteen,” You spat, crossing your arms. You looked out of the window, sick of seeing Jeff’s face. You hated how he made you feel. So angry. So vulnerable. It was like he could see right through you, both of you apart of the same parting glass. “I’m not the one who got horny mid mission,” Jeff grumbled. You shot daggers at him with your firey gaze as you turned your head. “What the fuck did you just say?” You asked. Jeff matched your energy, both of you meeting halfway. “I think you heard me loud and clear doll face,” He snickered.

“I will throw you out of this moving car Jeffrey,” You growled. Jeff came closer, your faces an inch apart. “Yeah? I’d like to see you try-” He began, both of you flying forward against the seats in front of you. EJ had slammed on the brakes, the car coming to a sudden stop in the middle of the road. “Will you two shut the fuck up? You are driving me nuts! Either fuck, get married, or kill each other. Pick one. Or you know what? Fuck it. Maybe do all three. In that order. Just shut the fuck up!” EJ yelled. Jack was never the violent or expressive type, not in your experience. You’d never heard him mumble more than four sentences before.

You picked yourself up off of the floorboard, trying to look proper as you resumed your position in your seat. Jeff did the same, watching as EJ slowly turned back around. He shook his head, slowly pressing his foot on the gas. “We did fuck, just to be clear,” Jeff clarified. You screeched in horror. “Jeff?! What the fuck?” You said, slapping his arm. Jeff rolled his eyes. “Cmon dude it’s fucking EJ. If anyone understands the primal fucking thing it’s him,” He said, pointing at the demon in question. Jack slammed on the brakes once again, your head hitting the seat in front of you this time.

“I’m getting out of the car. Get your energy out by fucking or killing each other, I don’t care which. Just let me know when you’re done,” EJ grumbled, undoing his seatbelt. You reached over the seat and grabbed his arm. You wanted nothing more than to go home and shower. And if you had to shut Jeff up to do it, you would. “We’ll figure it out and leave you out of it. Okay? Please take us home,” You say softly. Out of all of the mansions residents, Jack probably bothered you the least. Most of the time he kept himself wrapped up in his medical lab. You only really saw him when one of the proxies needing stitching up, EJ taking pride in the one thing he considered himself to be good at.

Jack sighed, not saying anything but beginning to drive the car again. “Look at you getting all soft on EJ. You gonna beg him to fuck you too?” Jeff huffed, jealousy radiating off of his skin. You turned to him, climbing over him and straddling his lap. Your hand flew to his throat, squeezing the sides like your life depended on it. “If you keep yapping we are never going to get home. Shut up,” You snarled. You could feel Jeff’s cock grow hard underneath you, your eyebrows raising. “Say please and i’ll shut up,” Jeff said, his voice husky. You couldn’t decide if it was because of his lust or lack of an airway.

You most certainly did not want to say please to Jeff of all people, but you did want to get home. More than anything. You slowly lowered your hips, grinding against Jeff’s aching boner. “Please,” You say softly, meeting his obsidian eyes. The pale killer quickly flipped you over, planting his lips on yours. You could hardly process your back hitting the backseat, the air being knocked out of your lungs. You struggled to keep up with his frantic kisses, as if he just couldn’t get enough of you. His pale hands slipped under your shirt, squeezing your mounds of needy flesh.

You let out a small groan, Jeff’s obsidian eyes temporarily torn away from you. “EJ if I catch you looking back here i’ll scoop out your eyes,” Jeff threatened. There was a brief silence in the car, before Jack turned on his blinker to turn. “I don’t have eyes Jeff,” He replied blandly. Jeff squeezed at your breast harder, the pain making you squirm. “Yeah yeah you get the point,” Jeff barked. He smashed his lips back onto yours, your fingers desperately fiddling with his jeans. “That desperate huh doll?” He snickered. You rolled your eyes, Jeff forcing a groan from your lips as his finger toyed with your nipple.

“Thats it, such pretty noises. Let it all out,” He mocked. He helped you shove off his jeans, his hand grasping his hard cock. Jeff buried his head in your neck, sucking and lapping at your sensitive skin. The two of you were whimpering messes, completely forgetting Jack was even there. “Don’t leave marks you asshole,” You whined, your hips rolling upwards. Jeff grinned devilishly as he released your neck with a pop. “Little too late. Good luck explaining that,” He argued. You ran your thumb over his slit, the pale killer above letting out a groan. You grabbed him by his hoodie, changing the position.

Jeff sat upwards in the backseat, watching as you scrubbed your blood soaked scrubs off. You straddled Jeff, melting into the kiss as his large hands grabbed your ass. You hated how good he made you feel. His wet you got from his touch and degrading words. How divine it felt that your slick was rubbing up and down his hard cock, and all you could want was more. He slapped your ass harshly, your whine quickly swallowed by his eager lips. You hovered over his cock, before slowly sinking down onto it. You let out a string of curses, a cocky smirk dancing across Jeff’s lips.

“Go on, let EJ know how good I made you feel,” Jeff purred. Your right hand flew to his neck, choking the sides as you sank down lower onto his cock. “Shut the fuck up Jeffrey,” You argued weakly. Your walls spasmed as you struggled to accommodate his size, your drenched cunt pulling him in. Jeff’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as you choked him, the pale killer in more pleasure than he’d let on. “Look at Jeff EJ, look at how much of a pathetic fucktoy he is for me,” You huffed. You sank fully into his cock, the two of you breathing heavily as you finally made eye contact. Jeff’s hand brought itself to your throat, the two of you choking the other.

“Get on with it or i’ll bend you over and give Jacky a real show,” Jeff threatened weakly. You rose your hips, before rolling them back down on his cock. You both let out a unison of groans, your body beginning to ride his shaft faster. You released his throat, grabbing handfuls of his hoodie to maintain balance. “F-fuck Jeff,” You whined. His cock was abusing your g spot perfectly, your body on cloud nine. Jeff released your throat, bringing his large hand to your cheek. “Thats it doll, keep making that stupid fucked out face of yours,” He huffed. His other hand strayed from your ass, slithering to your clit. He began to draw slow circles, your brain turning to mush.

“Fucking hell- please go faster,” You pleaded. Jeff brought his forehead to yours, the two of you moaning in unison as you shamelessly rode his cock. Your knuckles were turning white from gripping his hoodie so hard. It was then the killer began fucking up into you, your moans becoming louder and unhinged. “Jeff! Shit!” You moaned. Jeff stroked your cheek with his thumb, the loving action almost making you furrow your eyebrows in questioning. But he seemed content and you couldn’t deny your enjoyment. “I hate you Jeffrey Woods,” You hissed, hating the way your body was reacting to his.

“I hate you more dollface,” He seethed, both of his hands grabbing your waist. Jeff gripped your waist so tightly you knew you’d have bruises in the morning. “I hate the air you breathe,” You argued. Jeff’s thrust into you, knocking your next insult out of your lungs. “Yeah? I hate how good you feel wrapped around my cock,” Jeff panted. You could feel the cord in your stomach tightening, your thighs beginning to shake. You brought your fingers down to your clit, circling the sensitive bud as Jeff rammed into you. “I hate you,” You moaned, throwing your head back in pleasure.

Jeff grabbed your throat, forcing you to look at him as you both reached your highs. “I hate you too, slut,” He spat. His words sent you over the edge, your walls spasming around his cock as you came. “Jesus fuck, it’s like you’re milking me,” He groaned, cumming deep inside of your cunt. You both panted in unison, trying to come down from your highs. Exhausted, you rested your head against Jeff’s shoulder.

Jacks voice was the next thing you heard as you came down, “You two need fucking therapy.”

[silversurfersx]

Beautiful Man

jenson button × platonic!reader × lando norris

-in which lando is a snitch

mentioning to lando who you thought was the most beautiful f1 driver might have been a mistake

Being friends with Lando has it's ups and downs, one good thing was meeting Max Farewell and one bad thing was Lando itself. Now not to mistake the absolute joy in person Lando represents, bringing a smile to your face on several occasions, but that boy could talk. And how he loved to do exactly that.

Having an interview session with Jenson Button gave him exactly that opportunity. And with newly revealed information he just couldn't help himself. He didn't even know when it slipped out of how it came up, but it did. The fact that you were in fact standing right between him and Jenson didn't matter.

"Oh, did you know that Y/N thinks you are the hottest F1 driver." He announced smiling cheekily. His boyish face lightened up with a teasing expression. Your divers senses locked in when you realised the words and your head shot over at him. Your eyes wide and mouth agape, while you head a deep laugh from beside you, clearly coming from Jenson.

"Lando!" You called out. "What the fuck, mate?"

Joining into Jenson's laughter the british men found the whole thing hilarious, completely opposite to you, who didn't know what to feel or think. For a moment embarrassment was all that filled you, but then you became achingly aware that people were staring and if you made it embarrassing now, it would be haunting you for a lot longer than if you just pretended and played it cool.

"I mean, I take it as a compliment." Jenson said smirking at you. Playfully you shook your head, shaking off the embarrassment and turned to Lando.

"See what you did there, Lan? Now he's getting all cocky." You said in mock seriousness pointing at Jenson next to you, getting more laughs from him and Lando. You too chuckled lightly.

"How is it my fault, I was just quoting you?" Lando argued hand on his heart as you pusred your lip. "I did not say he was the hottest driver. I just said that I thought he was the most beautiful one. I mean have you seen his face?"

Jenson only smirked more at the continuing compliments, wiggling his eyebrows at the camera. From the corner of your eye you saw exactly that and a sense of regret build up in you. You could have just let the whole tying go, but as often you spoke before you thought, riding yourself further in the embarrassing situation.

Groaning internally you cursed yourself out for all the things you just said. On the outside though you tried to stay strong and not let the situation get to you. The blush on your cheeks didn't agree with your internal desicion.

"Lando, I think we should stop before Y/N dies from embarrassment. And although I am quite flattered by your very truthful confession, I think that we should probably move on." Jenson said, noticing your blushing cheeks and Lando's cheeky look as he looked at you.

"Yes!" You said almost all to eager. "Thank you Jenson!"

"Also, I am sadly in fact already married." The blonde added just to put a bit more oil in the fire of embarrassment. Groaning you put a hand on your face, hiding behind it, as Jenson chuckled and Lando giggled at you embarrassment.

But Lando wouldn't be yone of our best friends, if he didn't have something else to add. "Oh she knows. She had a funeral for the posters of you in her room when she found out."

It was a quick reaction from your side that resulted in you knocking your microphone into Lando's jewels. Smiling at the groan of paing coming from him before you turned towards Jenson who didn't quite know how to feel.

"He is lying about that part. I never had a poster of you in my room, I swear on my car." You announced to him, eyes wide a expression all serious. You needed to keep at least some of your pride. And Lando was in fact lying, about the funeral, not the posters, that was a lie from you.

Jenson looked over at Lando, holding a hand in front of the spot you hit his face in a grimace. Complementing about your possible reactions, Jenson just agreed. "I don't doubt a word you say."

He did, but he didn't say that.

[shitsndgiggs]

Maybe one where Kenan is very affectionate in front of their parents and the reader gets shy/awkward 🫠

BBQ AND BLUSHES - KENAN YILDIZ

PDA in front of your family is not something you are used to

Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

The smell of grilled meat and freshly cut grass filled the warm evening air as I stepped out onto the back patio.

My parents had decided to host a BBQ night, and the backyard was buzzing with the sounds of laughter and conversation.

Lanterns hung from the trees, casting a soft glow over the scene. It was the perfect summer evening, and as I scanned the crowd, my eyes landed on Kenan, who was deep in conversation with my dad by the grill.

Kenan looked completely at ease, his tall frame relaxed as he laughed at something my dad had said.

His charm was evident, the way he effortlessly fit in with my family making my heart swell with affection.

He was wearing a simple white t-shirt that contrasted with his tanned skin, and his dark hair was tousled from the breeze.

He was, as always, the most handsome man in the crowd, and I couldn’t help but feel a little proud that he was here with me.

I walked over to them, feeling the familiar flutter in my stomach that always seemed to appear when I was around him.

As I approached, Kenan glanced up and smiled warmly at me, the kind of smile that made my knees feel a little weak.

“There she is,” he said softly, his voice filled with warmth as he reached out and pulled me closer to his side. I felt his arm wrap around my waist, the touch sending a pleasant shiver through me.

“Hey,” I replied, smiling up at him. My dad was still talking, but Kenan’s attention was fully on me now.

Without a word, he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my temple, the casual affection making my cheeks instantly flush.

I could feel the heat rising to my face, the fact that my parents were right there making me incredibly self-conscious.

I was used to Kenan being affectionate in private, but doing it in front of my family was a whole different story.

“Kenan!” I hissed softly, giving him a quick nudge, hoping he’d get the hint.

He just chuckled, clearly amused by my reaction. “What?” he asked, his tone playful as his hand tightened slightly around my waist, pulling me closer.

My dad must have noticed my discomfort because he smirked, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Looks like someone’s a bit shy,” he teased, raising an eyebrow at me.

My mom, who had just walked over with a plate of grilled veggies, joined in. “Oh, don’t mind them,” she said with a laugh. “Young love is so sweet to watch.”

I felt like my face was on fire now. “Mom, Dad, come on,” I groaned, hiding my face in Kenan’s shoulder in a desperate attempt to escape their teasing.

Kenan, of course, found the whole situation hilarious. He was still holding me close, his hand now rubbing soothing circles on my back as he tried—and failed—to stifle his laughter.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he murmured in my ear, his voice soft and full of affection. “I’m just showing them how much I love you.”

His words made my heart skip a beat, and despite my embarrassment, I couldn’t help but smile.

Even though I was mortified that my parents were witnessing this, a part of me couldn’t deny how much I loved hearing him say that.

“Yeah, well, maybe save it for when we’re alone,” I whispered back, still hiding my face.

Kenan chuckled again, but this time he leaned down to press a quick kiss to my forehead.

“Alright, alright. I’ll behave,” he promised, though the mischievous glint in his eyes told me he was still enjoying my embarrassment.

My parents, meanwhile, seemed delighted by the whole interaction. My mom was beaming at us, and my dad just shook his head, clearly amused.

“You two are adorable,” my mom said, her voice softening. “But don’t be shy, Y/N. We love seeing you happy.”

I peeked up at Kenan, who was smiling down at me with that same warm, loving expression.

Despite my initial embarrassment, I couldn’t help but feel a surge of affection for him—and a bit of gratitude that my family was so accepting of us.

“Thanks, Mom,” I murmured, finally lifting my head from Kenan’s shoulder.

Kenan pressed one last kiss to my temple before letting go slightly, though he still kept his arm around my waist. “See? No need to be shy,” he whispered, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

I nodded, feeling a little braver now. After all, my parents were right—there was nothing wrong with showing a little affection, especially when it came to someone I loved as much as Kenan.

[ataraxiaspainting]

chrollo & nobunaga reacting to the gf tax ( they want a gf so bad that comes at a cost of food being stolen of their plate)

i'm sorry this concept is fucking hilarious. 😭

Yan Chrollo + Yan Nobunaga / The Girlfriend Tax.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, manipulation, some infantilization from Nobunaga, and mentions of violence against the reader/other people.

Word Count: 1k.

*~*~*~*

Chrollo

“What is the matter, dearest?”

If you didn’t know him as well as you do now – which isn’t a lot, but it still counts for something; probably, someway, somehow – you’d think that Chrollo is attempting to be concerned about you. Attempting to be kind, attempting to be content, attempting to be something so human and real. But you unfortunately knew better now.

He wasn’t concerned; he was simply losing the patience you thought was as infinite as the number of stars in the night sky.

You don’t answer him until his grasp on your chin feels more like a pinch than a sweet caress. Despite him having short nails, you can swear that if you simply move away one more time his thumb will cut you and you will bleed. Perhaps he is more of an animal than something like you and thus perhaps he will lick your wounds clean.

Perhaps he will eat you if he smells your intoxicating scent.

“I have done as you requested, have I not?” He stares at you with such intensity, like he is one second away from biting your head off. “Why do you continue to resist?”

You’re not sure how to answer him, how to make up for the fact that you haven’t done anything affectionate towards him all evening. Kisses, nice words, sitting on his lap, helping him make the dinner that you requested; none of that.

None of what you promised, while Chrollo put his whole heart into the feast set in front of you two. He did his part. You haven’t done yours, and you flinch at potential consequences that are shown through your imagination.

You fucked up. Big time. To put it plain and simple.

“[First].” Chrollo never says your name unless you step way out of line – and even then, you’ve never heard his tone be more irritated than now. At least he isn’t fully angry, and at least he isn't going to threaten you with violence – that role was always reserved for how he treats your loved ones and how his friends treat your loved ones. “You know I never make deals that don’t benefit me, correct?”

Something slips from your mouth before your brain can stop it – it’s a survival instinct maybe, somehow. 

“I’m scared.”

Chrollo’s gaze seems to soften at that; this isn’t the first time that you had voiced such concerns when you are forced into doing ‘couple activities’ with your captor, and this isn’t the first time Chrollo stops what he is doing to assess the situation at hand. But still, this all feels so unfamiliar to you, like a show put on pause because you weren’t a good enough actor for the director and the audience.

His hand moves from your shoulder and there it stays. It’s so cold, but the hot food warms you up. At least you think.

“We can still take it slow. We are still in our… beginning stage, after all.” 

He presses a kiss to your forehead, and suddenly all the fear comes back. 

But that wasn’t the intention, was it?

Nobunaga 

“You aren’t understanding me.”

You put your bare feet onto the front of the chair’s cushion and scoot yourself back until your spine is pressed against the wooden frame. You tuck your knees underneath your chin and bend forward hugging the lower part of your legs.

In front of you was the same type you were always given, but even more of it – brown sludge with something on the side so disgustingly green it couldn’t possibly be a plant and halfway-cooked grains of rice. You asked for takeout instead of Nobunaga’s cooking. Well. You requested it nicer than that. You said that bonding during mealtimes was the easiest way to progress a relationship. You gave some meal ideas; pizza, ramen, stir fry; anything but the alien food he gives you daily.

Nobunaga still has some of the rice in his mouth, chomping away without a care in the world. The sounds are so loud, so painful, that you are tempted to ask him how he could just eat raw rice.

“Yes, I do,” His words are muffled, gnat-sized pieces of broccoli coming out of his mouth as he talks. 

“Why can’t you get something else?” You whine – it’s a desperate sound that comes out of your mouth more regularly now, not that you know why. “To… change the pace a bit.”

You added the last part not to sound rude – you’ll get sent to the bedroom right away for a ‘time out’ if you sound too aggressive again.

“There is a change to it, sweetie.” Nobunaga shakes his head, a tsk leaving his lips. “I added some spinach to the rice. Can’t you see it?”

You must remember that with Nobunaga, you must pick and choose your battles; whether that be not protesting to wearing a skirt that seems a few tads too short or refusing his kisses and touches that felt so cold and slimy somehow despite you knowing that he is human and he is made of the same things you are made of.

Somehow he is human, but he is stronger than you ever will be.

The way he broke your heels months ago, the way he punched and kicked his way through a building to get to you during an escape attempt, the way he restrains you to the bed when you are being too rowdy even for his tastes… They are all proof of that.

So… So… So…

So… So…

So…

So… you slurp up the somehow simultaneously wet and raw rice into your mouth and close your eyes, wishing to be anywhere but here.

[scribblesofagoonerr]

— Are we there yet? | Glastonbury Series

here's the first part of this small mini series i have been working so hard to create over the past week, this is one of my favourites so i hope you all enjoy it!

massive massive thank you to @alotofpockets and @lvnleah for the ongoing help throughout writing this and putting up with me throwing ideas at them all the time.

pairings: leah williamson x reader!monkey

summary: it's the first day of the festival and monkey's impatient as always to get there, being her usual self and causing chaos no doubt.

you can check out the whole masterlist here: chaos fc masterlist

“Are we there yet?” You question, impatiently as you huff and continue to drag your suitcase across the field that feels like it is never ending to get to wherever you need to go.

You have already asked this question a few times, you’re aware of that but you can’t help but ask it again.

Your suitcase is heavy and you don’t like it, not one bit.

Leah can’t help but roll her eyes from where she’s taken the lead to walk in front, “No— we’re halfway across a field still.” She reminds you, gesturing with her hands to show how far you’ve walked.

Not that far at all, unfortunately.

“My suitcase is heavy!” You whine and complain, doing no more than trying to kick it to see if that helps you to get it further across the field.

It does not.

The blonde in front pinches the bridge of her nose, “Then you shouldn’t have packed so much!” She states, more than used to your antics.

“I can’t help it, I’m an over-packer!” You exclaim in protest, you couldn’t help being excited about this weekend and wanting to pack… Well, pretty much everything that you could think about.

“Well then it serves you right!” Leah remarks, rolling her eyes.

You huff and kick your suitcase again once more, giving it a death glare.

“Come on, we’ll be there soon enough if you don’t complain about it anymore,” Leah jokes, continuing to walk ahead of you.

“Urgh, I don’t like this. I don’t want to walk anymore,” You grumble, less than five minutes later as you had barely made it any more across the wide open field, “Are we there yet?”

Leah exhales a sigh and shakes her head, “Since the last time you asked, five minutes ago? The answer is still very much no, Monkey.”

You let out an inhuman noise that attracts a few looks from people walking past, who probably think you are on something, “Ugh— I can’t anymore. It’s too much!” With that, you do no more than flop down on the floor dramatically and refuse to move any more.

Much to the blonde’s absolute horror over the situation.

“Get up off the floor,” Leah shrieks at you, all but ditching her own case as she tries to pull you up off the ground, “You’re literally in the middle of a field right now!” She states in disbelief.

“But I’m comfy here, and my suitcase is heavy!” You whine and still continue to plant yourself on the floor, because it’s much better than lugging a heavy suitcase across a field in your opinion.

Leah decides to be a buzz-kill about things though, “Monkey, up off the floor. Now!”

“Mean Malfoy!” You grumble in protest.

“Really? I’m being mean?” The blonde towers over you as she scoffs, “Fine, okay then, but you’re the one who’s openly lying in a field that probably has cow muck in it…”

That statement is enough to make you bolt up from the floor as you have slight flashbacks to your adventures in Scotland, “Ew, ew, ew!” You whine and screech at the horror of it.

Leah is openly laughing now and finding the whole scenario hilarious, “Yeah I thought that would get you to get up!” She exclaims, proud of herself for that.

“That’s not funny! I have trauma about Scotland!” You whine and scowl at her, meanwhile she is still laughing her head off about it, “Where’s Derek?” You wonder.

“Wha…” Leah stifles her laughter and looks at you in concern.

“The fluffy cow! You said there’s cow muck round here— that means Derek is here, somewhere!” You automatically put the two together as you now eagerly looked around the open field for your newfound fluffy best friend.

Leah eyes you in disbelief and pinches the bridge of her nose, “Oh for the love of— He’s not going to be here, in the middle of this field,” She tells you, laughing a small bit, “Monkey, come on. Seriously?” She questions.

“But you said this place was a farm— You lied to me!” You gasp in outrage, pointing your finger in her direction.

“I didn’t lie, Monkey,” The blonde tells you as she tries and fails to stifle her laugh, “Do you really expect to see a cow walking round the field, free reign?” She questions, still clearly amused by your thought process.

“His name is Derek, and yes I do,” You’re quick enough to correct her with a mock scowl, “This is outrageous, I’ve had enough! Can we go home now?” You’re all but ready to turn back round and call it quits on the whole weekend.

Although the heavy suitcase does make you think twice about that.

“The weekend hasn’t even started yet,” Leah remarks, still finding the whole thing amusing much your own misfortune about it.

You continue to pout in protest, “But there’s no Derek.”

“No, but there’s music here. That’s enough to be excited about,” Leah reminds you as she beams a wide smile, “And don’t forget you are really excited to watch Scouting for Girls and Avril Lavigne perform, do you really want to miss the chance to see them live?” She questions.

“Eh, it would be better if Derek was here,” You tell her, shrugging your shoulders before you begrudgingly continue her through the field to meet up with the rest of the people here.

“Finally, we’re here!” You breathe a sigh of relief and all but abandon your suitcase now, eventually meeting up with Leah’s cousin and their friends, who you were somewhat familiar with.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic, it wasn’t that far!” Leah rolls her eyes and sets her suitcase down before she looks to try and spot her cousin.

You scoff at her in disagreement and shake your head, “It so was, and you made me lug my suitcase over a field!” You accuse her and point your finger at her.

“It wouldn’t have been too bad if you didn’t pack too much,” Leah reminds you teasingly as she ruffles your hair, “Hiya, Hol!” She waves over to her cousin.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Leah’s cousin, Holly, grins as she walks over to her and envelopes her in a hug, “Hi, Monkey. What aren’t you happy about?” She jokes, giving you a side hug.

“Ello’,” You return the hug with the blonde, “Your cousin made me walk so far and I ain’t happy about it!” You exclaim, slightly glaring at the younger blonde between the two of them.

Usually you would be shy around certain members of Leah’s family, like her grandma, but considering you see her cousin a lot more than the others, you have come out of your shell and feel like you can be yourself around them a little more than before.

“Oh she did, huh?” Her cousin teases you.

“She’s being dramatic, she wouldn’t have been complaining so much if she didn’t overpack her suitcase in the first place either,” Leah points out, rolling her eyes in disagreement.

“I see the problem, how much did you pack?” The older blonde turns to look at you in amusement, “Don’t tell me it’s the whole kitchen sink,” She jokes at your expense.

Leah snickers slightly and grins at her cousin, “She would’ve done it if she could fit it in– I found her trying to cram everything in by sitting on top of it,” She turns to look at you and smirk teasingly, “God knows what you actually have in there.”

“Stuff that I need! Like hair straighteners, my hair dryer and hair products!” You all but insist, pouting at the blonde, who’s cracked up laughing.

“Please tell me you’re joking?” Leah questions, not trying to cover her amusement up.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “No?”

“Monkey, we’re camping! Where… Where on earth do you expect to plug in hair straighteners, or a hair dryer?” The blonde questions, still continuing to laugh aloud, “You can’t plug it in the middle of an open field.” She adds.

“Oh,” You are left dumbfounded now, “I don’t know, I thought there might be places like that!” You protest, throwing your hands up in the air.

By now both of the two blondes’ are in absolute stitches about this and finding it completely hilarious about the situation.

“Oh, Monkey,” Leah speaks through her laughter as she rubs her hand over her face and licks her bottom lip, “What’re you like, eh?”

“I guess you should’ve helped her pack after all, Le,” Holly remarks, shaking her head as she tries to control her laughter, “Oh kid, seriously?” She questions you.

“I… I didn’t think,” You admit, slumping your shoulders and feeling a bit of an idiot about this decision now.

“Well, at least you know now,” Holly jokes and ruffles your hair, using your short height to her advantage, “Shall we put the tent up now?” She wonders.

Leah nods in agreement, “That sounds like a plan– Aye, no, where’d you think you're off too?” She wonders, catching you trying to dip off in the direction when something miraculously caught your attention.

“Over there,” You point in the direction that you want to go, “I wanna check out things I see. They look so cool!”

“We need help with the tent first,” Leah reminds you as groan in annoyance about it and let them be perfectly aware of your feelings about it, “Don’t be giving me none of that, the quicker it’s done then the quicker we can go and have a look around.”

“But I just wanna explore, and this will take forever to put it up!” You whine in frustration, really not liking the whole idea of putting a tent up.

“And there’ll be plenty of time for that when we’re here the whole weekend, but first we need to put up the tent and we need you to help with that,” Leah is of course stern about things like usual and it just makes you want to bang your head up against a wall if there was one in sight, “I don’t want you to wander of either like you always do, especially not here when it’s so crowded!”

“Oh yeah, I heard all about your time in Nashville from Grandma,” Holly chimes in as she laughs in amusement, “You do have a bad habit for wandering off, don’t you, eh?” She jokes.

“No, I’m not that bad!” You can’t help but huff in protest.

“Really? I do beg to differ there, Monkey,” Leah remarks as she shakes her head in disagreement, “I was this close to putting a tracker on you there, either that or a damn leash. So I’m not having that happen here!” Now she’s the point wagging her finger in your face.

“Well at least in Nashville I was able to pet Derek!” You exclaim, thinking back to the adorable fluffy cow that you were so excited to meet, ie, your new best friend.

You wish you could have a fluffy cow as a pet. Wouldn’t that be so cool?

Leah would never go along with that idea though, so it’s probably better to think about a puppy.

“Earth to Monkey?” The said blonde is now waving her hand in front of your face as you jolt at the suddenness of it, “You zoned out a bit there, where’d you go?” She wonders, amusedly.

“I was thinking about Derek,” You confess, shoving your hands in your pocket.

“Wha… Who’s Derek?” Holly asks in confusion.

Leah chuckles and shakes her head, “I– It’s better to not ask.”

“O… Okay then,” Holly agrees with her cousin.

You huff aloud and flop down on the floor, “How long is it gonna take to put up the tent? I wanna explore, listen to music. I wanna get down with the vibe!”

You are pretty excited to watch certain artists perform. It all feels so exciting, so why do you have to wait for them to put a tent up? You could be already watching the live music, right now!

“It’ll be quicker if you help us put it up– Monkey?” Leah states as she realises that you have been side-tracked once again, “Hello, earth to Monkey?” She’s once again waving her damn hand in your face.

“Wha?” You bat it away from you and look at her confused.

“You zoned out there again,” Holly laughs and shakes her head.

“Oh,” You shrug your shoulders carelessly, “Whatcha say?” You question.

Leah exhales a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose, “I said it would be quicker if you help us with the tent, rather than just leaving the two of us to do it by ourselves.” She repeats her words.

You huff in protest and reluctantly stand back up, “I still don’t get why we couldn’t stay in a hotel though.”

“We’re getting the whole experience of camping at Glastonbury,” Leah tells you, rolling her eyes as she knew you had a certain dislike for nature, and you really liked being able to have heating and wifi access.

“I wish Buddy could’ve come here with us,” You remark, you know it would be super more fun with your favourite little buddy around, but considering her age, Leah and Jordan discussed it between them and decided it’s better for her to stay with Jordan for the weekend.

You know it would have been great fun with you both here though, for sure!

“Oh yeah, and have the pair of you running around wild? No thanks,” Leah remarks in disagreement as she shakes her head, “It’s bad enough to have to deal with you alone.”

“Wha… What’s the supposed to mean?” Your eyes widen in disbelief, questioning the fact she had the actual audacity to say that right now, “I’m offended! I’m an absolute joy to be around!”

“You know exactly what I mean there– Are you going to help us put up the tent, or leave us to do it by ourselves?” Leah shouts at you to get your attention, considering the fact that you still haven’t helped them yet one bit.

“I’m bored,” You complain, not enjoying having to sit around and wait for the two older women to finish putting up the tent that you had given up on in a matter of minutes.

Well you didn’t go up so to speak, more like Leah accused you of doing it wrong and not even trying to help, before she got annoyed at you and told you to just sit down and not wander off, which you felt a bit offended about at first but then realised it is true.

You do have a terrible habit of just wandering off sometimes.

"Quicker we put the tent up, the quicker we can go listen to the music,” Leah tells you as she notes your general frustration to be anywhere other than where you are currently sitting on the floor while scrolling through Instagram, “What time is Grace on stage?” She questions her cousin.

“Her set starts at 3 o’clock,” Holly tells her, working to help put the tent up which is more than you did so you can’t really say a lot, “It’s the lonely hearts club stage.”

You peer up from your phone to look at them confused, “Wait, Grace is performing… Here? Wow. I had no idea!” 

"I literally told you this the other day!" Leah exclaims, looking at you in disbelief.

You continue to look at the blonde confused, "You did?"

"Yes. Glad to see you were paying attention," Leah huffs and shakes her head.

"I must've switched off..." You admit as you shrug your shoulders, you always do have a terrible habit of doing that as well and well, whenever she is usually saying something most of the time it is negative that lands you in trouble.

The blonde clicks her tongue in disapproval, "Yeah, no kidding there, Monkey."

"Usually when you tell me things it's because you're telling me off for doing something I shouldn't be, so sue me for not listen' to you!" You comment, not even trying to hide the cheeky grin of your face as you definitely know you hit a nerve there.

"Unbelievable!" Leah murmurs and shakes her head.

"So, Grace is performing? Yay. That's great. Go, Grace!" You exclaim, clapping your hands in excitement for her as you slowly try to change the subject, although the blonde glaring at you might say differently, “Are you any closer to putting the tent up now?” You question, getting even more border the extra seconds you have to wait.

“A bit longer– Don’t think I will be so quick to forget about what you said then,” Leah warns you as she shakes her head and continues to put the tent up.

“Oh I wouldn’t dream of it,” You remark as you can't help but smirk in amusement, you have to admit it is funny to see the blonde look so annoyed sometimes.

“Careful there, Monkey,” Holly looks between you and her cousin in caution, “Right, we’re just about done with the tent. Let’s go and check out the music now before you say something to end up making things worse, eh?” She jokes.

“Finally! I didn’t even say anything that bad!” You’re quick to insist and shrug your shoulders as you jump up from your spot on the floor, already attempting to head off in a direction even though you have no idea exactly where you are going right now.

“Are you going to put your suitcase inside the tent, or leave it out for people to take?” Leah points out, gesturing to the abandoned luggage on the floor, “No? Guess I’ll do it then– Jesus Christ, Monkey. What the actual hell did you put in here? This weighs a ton!”

“Stuff that I needed, duh. I couldn’t decide what to pack!” You told her, getting further impatient to get to the music so once the tent was zipped up with everything inside, you were keen to drag them towards where you could hear the music, “Do you hear that?” You ask them.

“No,” Holly furrows her eyebrows.

Leah looks at you in concern, “Hear what?”

“The sound of music!” You exclaim, sticking a finger up in the air as you gesture to it, “That means we’re getting closer. Come on!”

“I… I don’t hear anything,” Holly states, confused.

“Then you’re deaf,” You tell her cheekily as you try to run ahead, “Let’s go, let’s go!”

“Monkey, that was rude– Don’t wander off!” Leah is quick to try and catch up with you, taking a grip of your bicep, “I told you it’s going to be crowded and I don’t want to lose you here!”

“We made it!” You cheer aloud in joy after the walk down from where the campsite is.

“We did,” Leah replies in agreement as takes a quick video on her phone, no doubt for her Instagram post dump at the end of it all.

You can’t help but jump in it and stick your tongue out while waving your hands around, “Wassup!”

“I swear you are not normal sometimes, kid,” Holly jokes and shakes her head.

Leah laughs and slides her phone in her pocket, “You’ve only just realised?” 

“Hey! I take offence to that!” You scowl at the blonde before you take in the surroundings around you, “Whoa, this place is massive and there’s so many people!” You exclaim in awe.

“There is, so do you see why now I didn’t want you to run off?” Leah remarks, gesturing around to the people around you and you have to admit it is a really big crowd, “I wouldn’t have a chance of finding you at all.”

“But we’d have so much fun playing Marco Polo!” You peer up at the blonde and grin.

“Definitely not, no,” Leah is quick to shake her head in disagreement.

Boo! What an absolute buzz-kill.

Leah’s cousin checks the time on her phone before she puts it back in her pocket, “Grace’s set will be starting soon, we should go and find somewhere to stand,” She states.

“Plenty of space in an open field,” You can’t help but joke with them.

“Hilarious, you should be a comedian, kid,” Holly chuckles in amusement.

“Well, that’s the plan if the football career doesn’t work out,” You grin proudly and shove your hands in your pockets, “I’m hungry!” You complain aloud.

“They have a lot of stuff, we have time to go and grab something first before it starts,” Holly motions to the food vans that you just so happen to be walking past as your eyes lit up at the thought of it all.

You know exactly what you want to eat.

“Yeah, food!” You state as you glance around to figure out if they have what you want, “Ooh, I want to get churros if they have any here!” You declare.

“Oh, no way. We’re not having a repeat of last time,” Leah is very much against the idea as she is reminded of the last time you had churros, “You actually want to make it through all the music acts tonight, don’t you?”

“One won’t hurt!” You whine and huff in protest, while Leah is shaking her head, “Fine, can I get a hot dog then?” You ask, considering that she currently has your bank card in her clutches still.

“That’s a better option,” The blonde agrees, ordering you a hot dog before she pays for it and you’re handed it by the staff member in the stall, “Right, lets’ go and watch the set before we miss it.”

The three of you walk onto the open field in front of the stage where their friend, Grace is set to perform and you have to admit that you are excited to be able to listen to some of her songs, considering you are pretty familiar with a few of them.

“Wow, Grace is awesome!” You exclaim in amazement as you stand there and watch her perform on the stage with her two backing singers, one of them being another one of Leah’s friends you are familiar with, “She’s so good– Wo, go Grace! Slay girl!”

“Grace has her own fangirl,” Holly can’t help but joke in amusement.

“She’s awesome!” You continue to insist, “Her vocals are on point, they’re sick!”

“Sick?” Leah’s cousin continues to mock you before she looks at the former blonde, “Make sure you get this on video for evidence!” She jokes.

Leah chuckles and there indeed she does have her phone out recording you, “I’m already on it.”

Taking the opportunity, you can’t help scowl at them both, “I don’t even care that I am fangirling though! She’s really good!” With that, you still continue to bop your head along to the music and have a grand ol’ time.

Before you knew it, her set was up and according to the schedule you briefly had memory off, the plan was to next watch the Sugarbabes.

Which don’t get you wrong, you are looking forward to seeing them, but you aren’t totally excited about it.

Not like Scouting for Girls.

You are so pumped for that!

“You seriously expect me to get from one stage to another in the space of fifty-ish minutes?” You look at Leah completely gone out, it’s a large field and you have short legs, “That is so long to walk!”

“Yes, come on. We have plenty of time to make it,” Leah states determinedly although this time she is the one trying to pull you in the direction of the stage now, having had a couple of drinks already and you have to say you do sometimes prefer the drunken version of her.

“I don’t feel like running today though, Le!” You continue to complain.

“Oh, you don’t?” Leah chuckles and looks at you amusedly before she leans down so you can have an easy way to jump on her back, “Hop on then.”

Grinning and knowing you got your way, you took a short jump to grip onto the blonde, “Giddy up, horsey!” You joke, patting her shoulder playfully.

“I’ll give you giddy up horsey, you little menace,” Leah shouts loudly as she still gives you a piggy back over to the stage where the Sugarbabes were soon going to perform.

“Yeehaw!” You continue to shout aloud, getting a few strange looks from people walking past you, “We’re here!” You exclaim when you arrive at the stage and you are ever so kindly almost dropped on the floor by none other than Malfoy if it wasn’t for her friends catching you.

How many drinks has she had? Maybe you’ll spare another piggy back from her for a while, cos’ you don’t fancy almost being dropped again.

You do have to admit you get a bit bored waiting around for them to come on stage and you could easily take the opportunity to walk around and listen to other artists, but there are a lot more people here and it feels overwhelming.

You don’t really fancy getting lost in a crowd this big.

“How much longer?” You wonder, trying to figure out how much longer you needed to wait around for them.

“It shouldn’t be much longer,” One of Leah’s friends chimes in from where you stood in the small group of people.

You exhale a sigh in frustration, “It feels like we’ve been waiting for ages!”

“You’re always so impatient,” The blonde jokes, gently patting you on your cheek as she smiles at you.

Maybe you’d be the one carrying her back to the tent tonight if she carries on drinking the way she is going, no thank you.

Finally, the moment came where the Sugarbabes came out onto the stage and there’s a loud volume of noise from the crowd.

Being very much a part of that crowd, you do enjoy bouncing along to the music.

“Can we bring yesterday back around? Cos’ I know how I feel about you now!” You sang aloud, jumping up and down in the spot where you stood amongst Leah, her cousin and their friends.

“And you said you wouldn’t run to make it,” Leah teases, ruffling your hair before she gets hoisted up into the air and ends up on her friends shoulders and she was definitely having the time of her life.

Somehow you definitely think she’s going to continue to drink and enjoy herself more as the night goes on.

That isn’t necessarily such a bad thing though.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[dragengyrr]

Dealbreaker

I found a fic "The Last Bus Stop in Hell, Now Boarding" by @prince-liest and… well, some scenes just stuck around in my head (read: tormented my artistic brain) long enough to get me down to sketching them out. Then a few hours, a few brushes and a few different colouring experiments later, it was no longer barely a sketch, at the expense of actual lunch... Oh well.

For those who haven’t read it (spoiler free), Angel and Alastor got their bodies swapped involuntarily, and the horrendous expression on Angel’s face belongs respectfully to Alastor.

Now, bear with me, because I’ve been overthinking this scene the whole time I was drawing it – Angel made a promise to Alastor, but one that is much more of a gesture of reassurance and what-happened-will-always-remain-in-this-room kind than anything resembling actual deal. And then, mere moments later, Angel realises that helping Al AND keeping the promise is impossible, so he dismisses the fact that he even said anything, and just jumps right onto the helping part, because he knows that that’s best thing to do for a friend. But Alastor doesn’t share that view – maybe it’s a mix of trauma, shame and the loss of control over almost anything, but he doesn’t think clearly at this point – normally, he’d sooner or later agree with Angel. But not there, not then – he’d rather expect the impossible to happen, and rage when it doesn’t.

And there’s the interesting choice of words – he could’ve called Angel anything at this point, we know how rich Alastor’s vocabulary is – but the word he chose was dealbreaker. Maybe, just maybe, from a perspective of hellish overlord, a sinner that twists and turns in an attempt to get rid of their contract is nothing less than pathetic, but what if the deal was only verbal, no signing, no contract, just "trust"… There are probably no other beings in Hell that, ironically, have less trust in somebody’s WORDS than the overlords, knowing what extremes the sinners are willing to go to just to squeeze their way out of a sticky situation. Also, one can only become a dealbreaker exactly in that scenario, when nothing was set in stone.

For Alastor, dealbreaker is a knife in the back. The worst kind of liar. The very being that reminds him so painfully that trust doesn’t exist without force applied to it by a binding contract, which, if you think about it, is a paradox. Dealbreakers are the reason he distances himself from everyone.

And here’s the sugar on the cream (pun intended): Angel is only trying to HELP. What a beautiful tragedy.

To end this little overthinking session: it’s been a long while since I’ve read anything that would make me genuinely terrified, and it’s even more amazing that it began as something quite hilarious. Do mind though that the topic is HEAVY, to say the least.

I can’t say I’ve read a lot of Hazbin fics, but so far Princeliest writes Alastor probably the closest to his original character, which I love. Please, keep up the good work!

[impishjesters]

I’m devouring the nonsexual intimacy with Jax dawg- oml we eatin good

How would Jax be with an s/o who enjoys leaning on him? I adore physical touch but sometimes if I can’t use my arms it feels like I’m trapped, so it’s nice to just glomp people lmao (s/o is ticklish too- Jax would have a field day with that one)

If you need a little more substance, maybe s/o like randomly serenading Jax in private! Like those old 80s jazz love songs (complete with slow dancing)

Thank you and have a wonderful day/night!

Leaning on one another

warning(s): none unless you count jazz note(s): I joke about it but I actually quite like jazz, maybe not all jazz but it's definitely not the worst type of music. I'm looking at you country music.... A/N: I included a bonus because I thought the idea of cornering this man in his room with jazz music was absolutely hilarious lol

Jax doesn’t have a physical battery per say, but there is definitely a limit to how much he can tolerate at a given time—whether it’s in public or private.

He doesn’t like sitting still for long periods of time and there’s a limit to how vulnerable he’s willing to be at any given time if at all.

So having a s/o that understands this and goes for physical touch like leaning on him or something that’s not inherently seen as romantic and mushy is a win in his book.

Don’t get me wrong, he loves you but it’s a lot and he’s not really used to it. He’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact you two are dating, that you like him.

He’s all for being leaned on or having you loosely hang off him in public, sometimes regardless of what side of him you’re leaning on, he might lean back.

Little shit might only catch himself though if you can’t hold him/he catches you off guard and/or lose your footing, he’ll make the attempt to stick an arm out and catch you—but whether you crash or not depends on your own reflexes. (he doesn’t make the rules, sorry babe)

If you wanna be held but not feel restricted, as long as he’s not doing anything he’ll let you stand in front of him, lean back, and drape his arms over you—totally not to just lean on you and be an absolute menace.

In fact, that’s probably how he found out you were ticklish—and that knowledge is far too much power in his hands.

Sure he can do it whenever he wants, but he tends to save it for other unsuspecting situations—like if the two of you get into a little spat and you’re not speaking to him—two can play that game.

He won’t completely restrict your arms but he’ll throw his arms around you and tickle you, it doesn’t always work to ease whatever the spat was about.

That said Jax doesn’t do it when the situation is serious and calls for an actual discussion, he knows at least that much when it comes to reading the room. (That and you’ve probably gotten onto him about it at least once before…)

He also may or may not have tickled you to get you up, you don’t need to sleep but you can still lie down and whatnot. And if you aren’t budging? Tickle time baby.

Bonus

Jax isn’t a dancer by any means, so when he opens the door to his room to find you standing there with music that’s—very much not the repetitive cartoony music that usually plays in this hellscape—he’s a little surprised.

The first question out of his mouth is:

“Is that fucking jazz?”

“No, just normal jazz.”

That response gets a good hearty chuckle out of him.

When you try pulling him in for a dance he’s a little nervous though it comes off as looking irritated, he’s uh, never danced to jazz of all things let alone with someone else.

You’re gonna have to take the reigns on this one, regardless of whether you can dance or not, you started this.

Despite the fact it is jazz playing, he enjoys the situation as a whole, your weight leaning on him the subtle holding one another. And the fact it’s in private? He can comfortably(ish) let himself feel a little vulnerable around you with no risk of having an audience.

Regardless of the fact it’s jazz, if you happen to sing along he considers himself impressed and will jokingly (read: obnoxiously) comment how he feels utterly serenaded, completely wooed, absolutely swooning—it goes on until you stop him, please stop him he’ll just keep going.