#the hand on the hip in the sixth one is so funny

[hawkeyeslaughter]

i don’t wanna talk about it .

[sweetnans]

Katsuki had a sixth sense when you were mad. It was like a struck on his head that evolved in being the biggest clown of all. He actually enjoyed riling you up so when you have your back turned to him with your shoulder stiff, He knows he has a job to do.

"Bad day at work, Princess?" He says using your given nickname when you aren't in the mood.

"Shut up, Katsuki," you say, cutting the onions with precision

Ok, ground control done. You called him Katsuki so you are mad but not extremely mad.

"Oh baby, what did I do?" His sultry voice coming from behind, his hands starting to press onto your lower back.

"You know exactly what you did, now back the hell off. I have a knife in my hand, " you warn.

Katsuki smirks carefully, making sure that you don't see him. If you see him enjoying himself at your expenses, he's done for good.

"Are you mad?" He asks the obvious. His hands going up from your hips to your ribcage right under your breasts, his breath fanning above your neck and cleverage.

"I'm not mad, I'm pissed at you," you murmur, chopping the garlic and the bell peppers.

"Mm baby," he grunts in your ear, spreading kisses at your neck and behind your ear.

"Oh no, uh-uh." You wiggle your body from his grip. "Don't baby me"

You turn around to look at your boyfriend without leaving the knife in the counter table. He raises his hands in defense, quirking his brow at you.

The way your body looks tiny beside him is amusing. You can't stay mad at him for much longer, so you need to focus on the problem and not in his enormous and gorgeous body.

"Drop the knife sweets, you ain't hurting nobody, I'll do anything to make those lines in your face dissappear." he flicks his finger in your forehead and then leaves it there to dissipate your expression lines.

You know he's messing with you right now because he knows he did something wrong, and Katsuki learned a while ago that the solutions when he's the one who's guilty aren't spatting and bickering back at you. The solution is using his charm and handsy manners with you.

"Use your words, baby." The finger that was in your forehead traced a path down to your lips and to your neck, right above your neckline in between the beginning of your boobs.

You sigh because it's better than moaning. He's so annoying.

"Fucking fine" you mutter. "If you're going to drop your gauntlets in the entryway, leave them on the side, I almost fall today because I stumbled on them"

He can't help but cackle at the mental picture of that.

"Hey! It's not funny, you asshole. " You smack his big arm while he dodges you easily to engulf you and embrace you inside his big arms.

"Jeez, so squirmy," he says, keeping you still while he kisses the top of your head. "No more heavy gear on the entryway ma'am," he mumbles against your hair.

[bluesidez]

GymRat!Miguel Part 2

content warning: mentions of food because big boys gotta eat, there’s a ref photo for an outfit in here that is unfortunately NOT a plus-size girl 😞 (I couldn’t find a big girl wearing an outfit like that for the life of me, but let’s use our imagination), 18+ towards the end so MDNI!

word count: 1.7k (not very drabble-like, ik) kinda proofread

Prev | Next ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist

GymRat!Miguel who wakes up when his 6 am alarm rings, eyes tired and bleary. His roommate is sound asleep, thank god, and Miguel is just staring at the ceiling for a good 10 minutes before he decides to move. He has an 8 am and he needs some type of breakfast before he heads to class.

GymRat!Miguel who uses the college cafeteria to his full advantage. He made sure that his dad’s money went to the highest meal plan. One free meal plan a day and a loaded campus card for everything else. He stacks his plate high with everything the cafeteria is offering today. Sausages, eggs, 2 bananas, a blueberry muffin, and a protein shake he brought from his room.

GymRat!Miguel who made friends with one of the cafeteria ladies, Ms. Beatrice, by the third week of school. She noticed how much he visited the cafeteria and always snuck him an extra treat from the kitchen when she saw him.

“I missed you last Tuesday!” she says, squeezing his shoulder when she walks up to his table. She slides a wrapped egg sandwich across the table. “I was saving some extra cookies for you, but you were nowhere to be found.”

Miguel thanks her, happy to have something light for later, “Ah, I was stuck in the library doing a group project. Sorry about that, Ms. Beatrice.”

“As long as you’re getting your education, I don’t mind,” she says, hands on her hips. “Don’t go out there skipping class now, ok?”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Miguel says, waving her goodbye. His mom would kill him if that ever happened. Not that he would tell her, she just had a sixth sense for his “fuck-ups.”

GymRat!Miguel who makes it to his class fifteen minutes early to arrange his part of his desk to his liking. Sometimes he feels so embarrassed when he needs to grab something in the middle of class, his ears hyperfocusing on every little noise he makes in quiet, crowded areas. He always makes sure to get out his laptop, a pen, a pencil, a highlighter, a notebook, some white-out, and a water jug. He prefers to be over-prepared.

GymRat!Miguel who’s feeling anxious when the sorority girls pass by his table, giggling and twirling their hair. They attempt to make conversation with him, speaking ill of the professor. He just nods along for the sake of being a gentleman. He thought the professor’s Millennial attempts at Gen Z jokes were kind of funny, albeit very 2010. He didn’t have the heart to tell them he actually enjoyed the lectures.

GymRat!Miguel who’s never been more excited for a lecture to start in his life. He didn’t know many more “wow”’s snd “that’s crazy”’s he had left in him. The noise of the ice hitting their plastic coffee cups as they struggled to get every drop out was starting to grate against his ears. He missed you and your sticker-covered water bottle. He looked over at his jug and smiled when he saw the ‘Game Over’ sticker you gifted him before the last lab. You noticed his joystick keychain and felt that his water bottle was empty.

GymRat!Miguel who declines the girls’ offer to join them on a morning jog after. He liked to work out in solitude and morning jogs with them would mean conversation. He would also have to be extra conscious about what he wore. No older lady walking her dog needed to spot him jogging with shorts that were too short for his own good and a tank top cut so deep that it was like string on his chest.

GymRat!Miguel who decides to head to the library in between class to kill time. He figured he can see if there are any science fiction he can check out to read in his free time. As he walks there, he opens Instagram to scroll. No, he has not been checking the app since this morning to see if you let him in, he’s not a freak. He stops walking when he checks his notifs to see that you accepted his follow request. He wastes no time to click your page again and is bombarded with tons of photos.

GymRat!Miguel who has to close the app immediately when he sees your first photo. It's a picture of you outside of a restaurant in a knitted two-piece. The top is open just a bit to see your chest and the long skirt is low enough to see a part of your stomach peeking through. Your smile is radiant and the caption is something about congratulating someone. You look delectable and Miguel can’t afford to run back to his dorm to let his mind wander over it right now.

GymRat!Miguel who gets another notification as he steps into his dorm room after his last class of the day and sees that you’ve liked and commented on his most recent post. It’s a mirror picture of him flexing his arm after his last work out. His shorts are riding high on his thighs and the curve of his ass is very noticeable. Gabriel had blew up his phone with voice memos of him cackling after he posted it.

“Looking good!! 🫣 Get those gains Miguel! 💪🏾”

Miguel runs a victory lap in his dorm room, thankful that his roommate wouldn’t be back until that night. He’s jumping and punching the air excitedly as if he were a boxer. If he wasn’t fearful of busting his ass, he’d do a backflip. Take that, Gabri.

GymRat!Miguel who decides to go back to your account, running on the hype of that one compliment from you. He stares at that first photo again, still mesmerized as if he didn’t see it earlier. He gives a like and starts typing.

“Wow…”

No, that’s corny.

“Loving the blue…”

Is he a frat guy?

“You look stunning”

Was that too much? He decides to add on a heart eyes emoji, afraid he might be coming on too strong.

GymRat!Miguel who goes a little further down your page. There’s a photo of you in a crochet cover up, your swimsuit peaking through the material. He groans as he slides to the next picture and the top of your cover up is off and it’s just a view of your back with your bikini string wrapped around it. Your lower half is in the water and if he can imagine it just enough, he can feel himself right behind you, taking in the view of your ass against him.

He’s hard. Again.

He decides to just let everything hang while he has the dorm to himself. His boxers are to his ankles as he sits on the bed, back against the wall. He keeps staring at your swimsuit pictures. Your breasts pushed together while you lean over the boat. Your hips swaying in a clip of you dancing with your friends. Your stomach on display as you lay in the sand, ready for him to squeeze.

He grit his teeth as he played the clips over and over again, his hand moving fast to bring him his relief. He closed his eyes and imagined he was there, watching you swaying before him. He would join you, grab your hips and let you guide him in the dance. He felt faint as he let go, voice shouting and white splattered across his shirt and fist.

He breathes fast, trying to calm down. He decides to like the photo dump and comment some aimless beach emojis under the post. It was the least he could do after using it to get off. How embarrassing.

GymRat!Miguel who jumps when his phone dings again. He was prepping to go to the gym when your response comes flying to his phone. His heart picks up when he sees you replied to his comment.

“That is so sweet of you to say! 🥺 Thank you 🥰”

He doesn’t know if you took it as a friendly gesture or a sign that he wanted you. Either way, he’s over the moon. There’s a pep in his step as he blasts Super Shy in his ears on the way to the gym. He had a new motivation to push harder in his sets.

GymRat!Miguel who tacks on 10 extra pounds during his arm workout. The guys in the gym are eyeing him in wonder and horror as he uses the 70lb weights for tricep extensions. He thinks of seeing you in lab later that week and decides to do some hip thrusts.

He can never be over-prepared.

GymRat!Miguel who decides to take a picture at the end of his work out to post on his story. He’s sweating, hair dripping towards the ends, his chest glistening. The angle is awkward as he moves the camera below him and flexes an arm for the picture. The story was meant for one girl and one girl only, so he didn’t really care how silly it looked to others.

GymRat!Miguel who almost fist pumps on the walk home when you like his story and leave a reply. He checks the private messages, grin on his face before he even reads what you have to say.

“Looks like you had a nice workout. I might have to join you next time and get some tips 🤔”

Miguel swiped the app up and texted Gabriel:

“Don’t ever question my game again”

"? Wtf are you talking about"

Miguel opened up his messages with you again and replied to text him whenever and he’d be happy to help.

GymRat!Miguel who winds down for the night, scrolling on his phone before he closes his eyes. Of course you posted a story and of course he pressed it within record speed.

It was a photo of you laying down all bundled up with a cute ‘good night’ gif moving across the bottom. You had on a spaghetti strap tank top and if your blanket wasn’t in the way, he’s sure he would see more than that.

You looked soft, adorable, kissable.

He liked the story and responded back a “good night” and closed his phone. He wanted you to visit him in his dreams once more.

dividers by: @gigittamic 🩵

a/n: tumblr mobile kept deleting full paragraphs of my draft. not happy about that because I kept losing my flow. 😒 it happened like THREE TIMES 😭

Thanks for reading! Like, comment, reblog, and tell me how you feel! 🩵

Wanna be added to the taglist for GymRat!Miguel? Comment and let me know. 🤗 (PLEASE HAVE YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO. This series has been and will get even more NSFW!)

taglist: @ghost-lantern 🫶🏾🥺

[victoria-grimesss]

Call the Doctor, I'm in Love

masterlist

->Paring: Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish x Medic!Fem!Reader

->Words: 2.9k

->Warning: fluff & angst, mentions of injury/wounds

->Summary: Soap has a big ol crush on you, he’s not sneaky or quiet about it. Here are the many times he’s fantasized about you and the one time you answered his dreams.

->A/N: a little something because I love Foap!

Johnny ‘Soap’ Mactavish is a pretty guy, a hunk if you will and he knows it. He has no troubles with the ladies and is highly experienced but he always feels like he’s lacking something, someone. Until you came along, pretty new medic. You’re his favorite. He always goes to you for a patch up even waiting for medical help until you come back from break. Johnny is a saint, he is a patient and giving man. 

But he wants you, desperately. He’s got a big fat crush and he’s not quiet about it. The 141 is exhausted hearing about what you did today and that Soap thinks you looked dreamy today, stitching up his arm. He saw you look at him a little extra that means you want to be with him right? They can’t wait until you either reject the poor fool or take him on a bloody date. Here are the times poor Mactavish has swooned over you:

The 1st Time: Your Introduction

Soap has found himself head over heels for you. He first saw you in the medical tent after him and an enemy went headfirst over a steep rockwall, he was fine of course, seems like that guy can bounce back from anything, you had nursed him back to health and he was done for. Your caring words and gentle hands were all he wanted now. And imagine his surprise and excitement when you became the team's new task-force medic.

“Alright team I hope you read over the file, we got a new member to our team. She's going to be our medic but don’t worry she can hold our own on the field. She’s reliable and damn good at her job. We’ve had too many close calls lately and I don’t want anyone dying of something that could have been prevented.”

Price ends his introduction and you greet your way around the room, everyone is nice enough for tuff military men. You find yourself sitting next to John, or Soap, or sometimes Johnny depending on who you ask. He’s a good looking guy, as are the rest in the room but you have a job to do so you don’t plan on messing up your place on the team by intermingling with one of them.

“Aye lass, do you carry one of those stethoscope things around with ya?”

He’s leaning on one arm, checking out the equipment you had brought with you.

“I usually keep it in the office, why is something wrong?”

You’re looking him over for anything obvious but nothing sounds any alarm.

“Ah no, it’s just my heart… it’s acting funny, beats a little faster when you come around.”

He’s smiling and you laugh not expecting a bad pick-up line but seems like he’s that kind of guy.

“I see. Well might want to try working on your cardio then that’ll improve that heart rate of yours.”

He pauses, thinking of what to say next to lure you in.

“You like bars doctor?”

“Not particularly..”

“Would ya mind joining me, I hate drinking alone.”

You smile, amused.

“Why not one of the other boys, someone you’re more familiar with.”

You’re looking into your bag and he drops his head lower so you’ll look him in the eyes.

“I’d like to be more familiar with you bonnie.”

You stop and put your hands on your hips pretending to think.

“Well I’m not so interesting, just a doctor after all. I’m sure Gaz would love to join you, you two seem the best of friends.”

He seems a little discouraged when you don’t play into his game but he looks at the small smile that plays on your lips and knows he’s just gotta keep trying. You won’t shake him off that easily.

—

The 2nd Time: The Flu Incident

Flu season. Your favorite time of the year, your inner monologue drips with sarcasm as you scrub your hands raw for the sixth time today. It’s late afternoon and the sun dips over the horizon as the rooms are casted with a honey soaked orange glow. The murmurs from the outside hallway peak your interest and you dry your hands and exit to the hall.

“I told you MacTavish I can help you just as easily as any other nurse or doctor, just come into my office and we’ll get you fixed up.” 

An older more seasoned nurse has her hands on her hips, gaze pointed at Soap with a motherly disapproved look at her face. You step out of the room tossing the paper towel into the bin.

“Troubled patient?” 

Soap lifts his head at your voice and he smiles, voice nasally and strained.

“Ah there ya are bonnie, been waiting for you. Think you can fix me?” 

“You’d be in better hands with her you know? Unlike me she knows what she’s doing.” 

Your tone is playful and Johnny stands weakly, hand on the wall.

“Yea but you’re my favorite, can’t feel better unless it’s you.”

The other nurse is called away shooting you a good luck look with her eyes, no doubt happy to not have to deal with the sickly man.

“Alright Johnny whatever you say. Let’s get you to a bed.”

“You’re a real saint hen.”

You place a steady hand on his back leading him to the bed in your office, away from the overflow so he can hopefully get some rest.

“Alright Johnny go ahead and lay down I’ll get your temp and let’s see if we can break that fever alright?”

He groans as he lays down obviously dealing with joint pain from the flu, it’s a nasty one that’s hit the base this time.

You run a washcloth under cool water, grab your thermometer, and sit next to him making sure he’s comfortable. You take his temp and frown, 

“Give it to me straight doctor, am I going to make it?”

He grips your hand dramatically and you laugh while patting his hand.

“I think you’ll just scrape by, it’ll be close though.”

“Oh thank heavens. Guess you’ll just have to take extra close care of me right?”

He’s giving you those stupid puppy dog eyes again as you place the washcloth on his forehead and place the back of your hand on his cheek to feel the temp there as well.

“I guess since I’m part of your team now I’ll have to make sure you live, so yes. I will take extra good care of you.”

You smile at him softly, you don’t like seeing anyone sick but sick Soap reminds you of a kicked puppy.

You miss the way his eyes shine up at you as you chart his info. How the thoughts in his head are those of you and him on dates, what ring he will propose to you with, where you’ll honeymoon and various other daydreams he has swirling around. He would do anything for you to be his, he would capture the stars for you.

You get up from your chair to put his info into the computer and he looks at the sad flowers on the side table, shriveled and needing to be tossed.

“These flowers aren't lookin so good.”

You glance over and frown.

“Oh yeah, it’s been so busy lately I haven't had a chance to replace them yet.”

He hums and you walk back over to him and give him some painkillers and electrolyte drink mix.

“Take these and get some rest please, it’ll do you good.”

He sits up, eyes on you as he takes the pills, handing you the little cup back.

“I’ll get you some new flowers, take you out too.”

You’re facing away from him, a smile gracing your features.

“Johnny, I-”

“You don’t have to say yes now lass, just please, for the sake of my well-being think on it.”

You move over to him and dab the cloth onto his cheeks and cool down his pulse points, heart growing slightly as you reply.

“Sure Johnny, I’ll think about it. Now sleep, doctor's orders.”

He sleeps quietly next to you as you finish your charting. The sight of him so calm warms your heart and it scares you a little bit, you wouldn't want to throw off the balance of the team or make any weird power dynamics by falling for him but he makes it harder and harder. 

The next week fresh flowers are left on the side table.

—

The 3rd Time: Award Ceremony Ball

Dressed to the nines each of you are. A very successful mission rewarded the whole team with a variety of medals and everyone was looking very nice all cleaned up.

Your dress was a floor gown with a slip up the leg and your back was exposed, the dress felt so silky and it was nice to not be covered in blood for once. Although you did manage to spill some kind of fancy jam on it and you were frantically dabbing at it with water when you were interrupted with Soap meeting up with you.

“Well don’t you look nice.” 

He’s lively tonight, eyes bright with optimism after the job and sporting brand new chest candy to show off.

Your eyes drift up from the new stain on your dress to him and he, well he looks damn good. A new pink scar graces his jawline but it looks good on him, he can wear scars well.

“Thank you, you clean up well yourself too.”

“Ah bonnie don’t make me blush now.” 

The rest of the team is chatting at a nearby table, Price is nursing a short glass of something dark, Gaz is going to town on the amazing food, and Ghost is engaged in conversation with the two of them.

“You wanna head back to the table?”

You offer, he shakes his head and offers his hand.

“I ask the fine lady to a dance.”

You blush, never asked to dance before, the ballroom floor filled with experts, couples swirling to the melody in the air.

You stew on it for a moment, and put your hand in his.

“Ok but if I fall you fall with me okay?”

“Always.”

Your hands are intertwined, one of his is on your waist and yours is on his shoulder. You both try to copy what the others do and the messy dance combined with the flutes of champagne you both consumed makes for quite the site. The mess of bumping feet and unsteady movements.

“For a sergeant you’re rather uncoordinated MacTavish.” Your laugh is light.

“I didn’t go to fuckin dance school, certainly didn’t learn this in the marines that’s for sure. What, did they teach this in medical school?”

“Does it look like they did? I can stitch up a bullet wound but lord help me I can't dance for shit.”

You bump into him again and his grip tightens slightly.

“I got ya bonnie.”

He could be living in a dream right now, you in such a pretty dress adorned in your well deserved medals, him with his. You’re gripping his shoulder and he’s got you in his arms, he can smell your perfume and see the small hairs out of place as the two of you spin but he loves it all the same. He wants it all the same.

“Johnny. Can you hear me?”

He blinks harshly, really sinking back in. You’re not his right now, he can’t take you back to his place after this and kiss each part of you, unzip the dress and let his fingers graze over the skin that's revealed to him. Watch how you move under the moonlight as he touches you just as he imagined. Not yet.

“Yea?”

“I said I think Gaz just devoured his fourth bowl of that dip I wanted to try.”

“Must be good then, should we head over before he finishes it all?”

You laugh and agree.

“Thank you for the dance MacTavish, you made me feel less silly for not knowing what I’m doing.”

His eyes sparkle at your admiration.

“I’m always happy to help.”

—

The 4th Time: Yes

This mission could not have been more fucked up. Shrapnel flies and bullets whiz by. The air is cold but your body is so hot, on fire from the adrenaline. 

The coms are staticy and choppy but you can make out the team. 

An undercover mission with Soap had you outside a pretty nice villa at dusk. It was meant to pose as a couple on a retreat to gain intel from an organization nearby but all hell had broken loose. You're cornered and Soap had been down to three bullets and you at two until you were able to take down someone else and gain the upper hand.

Communication with the team was hard, they had sent for backup now you just had to wait.

And Soap is shot.

He has taken a bullet for you and you’re frantic. 

“Fuck Johnny, shit.”

He grimaces as you rip your bag off of your back to grab for first aid. It’s not enough though, you had to pack light and it’s not enough.

“Stupid ass job, told them to find a way to get more equipment.”

You’re more muttering to yourself, ripping things out of the small bag you were allotted to patch him up.

“You’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

Johnny laughs and it sends him into a coughing fit, the bullet is in his side. You pray it hasn't done permanent damage but the gravel in his cough scares the hell out of you.

“Hold on Johnny, I’m gonna get you fixed up alright, just stay still.”

A bullet nearly misses your head and he shoots back hitting the guy before clutching his side again.

“You think that’s all of them?”

“Fucking hope so, I need- I have to clean it.”

He’s strong, so strong and sweet and kind and nice and charming and you can’t lose him. 

Not when you know you want him now. That you need him now. 

“Gonna lift your shirt ok? Just watch your breathing.”

“Aye, not even going to take me to dinner first.”

Your eyes are blurry as tears slip down, first one the two.

He wipes them away, his blood smearing onto your face and you choke back a sob.

“C’mon bonnie, don't cry. I hate seeing you cry.”

His voice grows weaker the more he speaks and you beg him to stop, but he rambles. 

He talks about how each morning he wakes up to see if you’re up yet. He waits for you at the gym, always goes to you when he feels unwell, gushes to the rest of the team about you when you’re not around. 

He flirts openly with you and what a fool you’ve been to not reciprocate fully, to reel into him.

The needle breaks his skin and his eyes grow heavy, the blood is still flowing freely and you almost feel it rushing out of you as well.

“I’m so sorry Johnny.”

You stitch and wipe and repeat. It’s a gaping wound and it makes you sick seeing it on him. 

You’re so focused on stitching him you don’t notice when his eyes close. His breathing is shallower now. 

Your eyes race around his face, head now slumped to the side.

You wipe the wound, it’s not good but it should be ok. Heavy on should.

Your hand, coated in blood cups his cheek, shaking.

“Johnny?”

You move his head, it's heavy in your hands and your breathing hurts now.

You get closer, enough to press his forehead to yours and you inhale his smell. 

You hold cloth to his wound to try to stop the bleeding and you whisper promises to him if he will just pull through. 

Your lips are so close to his that when your tears roll down your face they roll off your nose onto his lips.

The hand that cups his cheek feels his pulse on his neck and it’s quiet and slow. It’s so silent here now.

“I’m so sorry Johnny. I love you. Fuck I love you so much I just didn’t want to mess anything up. Please don’t leave yet. 

You lips touch his softly, like if you pressed any harder he would shatter.

“Could have- could have told me all that before I was dying yea?”

He laughs weakly, his smile cracking the corner of his lips. You cup his face fully now, careful to remove your hand from the wound but you applied enough pressure by now the blood has coagulated some. 

“You mean all that?” His eyes are heavy but he still looks at you with that same shining he always did.

“Yes, god yes. I just didn't want to mess up the team dynamic but I don’t care anymore, you just have to pull through alright then let's go out.”

“I like the sound of that.”

Blades of the helicopter sound nearby cutting through the silence.

“Just hold on Johnny we’re gonna get you patched up. Then I want to see you in that suit again.”

“Anything for you bonnie.”

—

He recovered well with you by his side of course. You dressed his wound properly and gave him a kiss to make it heal faster he would say. Then two weeks later he showed up in a suit with flowers at your office door. The rest is history, but the team is much happier not listening to Soap’s rambling about you but they are happy nonetheless.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Can you write about pietro being needy smut

I sure can, sorry it’s taken a little while for me to get this up. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

NEEDY.

pietro maximoff x fem!reader — smut

word count. 622

warnings. 18+ teasing & handjob minors dni

With Pietro, a kiss is never just a kiss. There is always more, even if it follows subconsciously. 

One becomes two, two becomes three, and then by the sixth, it's turned into a heated, hurried makeout, desperately pawing at each other's clothes - trying to rid one another of the fabric.

And that was about to happen now. 

You were on the sofa, mindlessly spooning as you watched tv - Pietro snuggled up behind, his lips ghosting the skin behind your ear. It was like he was trying to sway your attention away from the screen.

"You like the tv more than me?" he whispers, angling your head back - making you face him.

You kiss him chastely, giving him that slither of attention he ever so clearly needed. "Right now, yeah," you joke, extending an arm, playing with the short ends of hair at the back of his neck - looking over him sweetly.

But that look is not reciprocated. Instead, Pietro's is of desperation - need, eyes eager as he slowly leans in, coming back for that second kiss. And as if it were muscle memory, that kiss becomes another, and that becomes another. Soft, quick, gentle kisses turning into a hurried snog, nothing but tongues and muffled moans as you reposition yourselves. Never once breaking the kiss while you move to straddle him.

You lean over him as you kiss, sitting on his very upper thighs - your stomach grazing against his chubbed-up cock. 

Pietro's hands move to weave into your hair, holding you to him as if to deepen the kiss and keep you there, his hips instinctively grinding up for some friction you both so obviously wanted. His muffled sounds telling you all you needed to know.

Giving him one last kiss, you pull away - sitting up straight with your hands resting flat on his tummy, teasing the skin along the waistband.

"Don't do that," he hoarsely whispers, moving your hands lower - clearly needy. "Come on. You can't do that," growing flustered with your teasing. 

You move your hands back to their position on his lower belly, ignoring his desperate attempts. Playing dumb. "Do what? I'm not doing anything."

His head cocks to the side and he sighs - the noise light and airy. "Not funny. Please, I need you," he continues, wrapping a hand around your wrist, guiding you back down. 

You didn't want to pity him, but it sure was hard not to when he was acting like this - so desperate for your touch.

Giving in, you allow him to manoeuvre your hand as he pleases, letting him get what he wants. He slips your hand beneath the waistband of his lounge shorts, directing you under his boxers and right to that aching hard-on. 

He releases your wrist, freeing you as you wrap your fist around him - tugging down his shorts with your free hand. Letting his cock free from the restraint of the fabric, you scooch back. Your grip is loose as you hold his base, fingers teasing up the shaft of his dick, leisurely grazing along his veins - working right up to his leaking head.

With one hand wrapped around his cock, your other reaches for his hand that's digging into the swell of your thigh. Instead of moving it, you slip yours into his, fingers lacing together sweetly as you resume the toying with your opposite. 

You tease your thumb over the slit on his head, the pad swirling the precum as you watch the features on his face pull together - looking nothing far from blissed-out.

He needed you, and that's exactly what he'll get. 

But he'll get it eventually. After some more teasing that is.  

[morganbritton132]

My friend is a high school teacher, and the other day, he told us this story of when one of his students said, "Going 90." And proceeded to type his chair AND his desk to the side aka 90°. The kid landed on his side and got out his paper to start working. He said, "I think better this way." And my friend just had no clue what to do, lol.

I could help but think of Steve just standing there with his hands on his hips, trying to hide his laughter with a look of disappointment. And one of the other students gets it on film. So Eddie sees it and starts doing it everywhere as a joke.

The whole class is in on it which is how it ends up on TikTok for Eddie to see.

Mr. H hasn’t been in a bad mood per se, but there’s something off about him that his whole sixth period has picked up on. It’s not the low energy tiredness that sometimes lingers after he misses a day of work because of a seizure or the tense stiffness that’s present when he’s trying to work through a migraine.

It’s something else. It’s like he’s…sad.

He just seems really sad and the students do not like it, so sixth period looks towards their class clown and Jeremy says, “No problem, guys. I got this.”

They are waiting in anticipation as the class starts.

Steve takes attendance, nothing. He passes out a worksheet and notes, nothing. He starts the lesson and nothing happens until Steve asks, “Can anybody tell me what the characteristics of a right triangle are?”

There’s a moment of hesitation as everybody waits to see if that’s the moment but when Jeremy doesn’t do anything, Annalise answers, “One of the angles is ninety degrees.”

“That’s ri-“

“Going 90, Mr. H!” Jeremy shouts from the back of the classroom and then proceeds to yeet his desk, his chair, and himself sideways onto the floor.

The reverberation of the desk hitting the tile echoes around the room, followed by a round of giggling as Jeremy casually gets his spiral notebook and a pencil. He presses both of them to the desk so they don’t fall.

He’s writing his name at the top corner of his worksheet when he sees Mr. H’s shoes approach. His socks match his tie today. Jeremy thinks that’s very stylish of him. He mentions it.

Steve makes a strangled noise and when Jeremy looks up at him, he sees that he has his hands steepled in front of his face like he’s praying for patience. At the angle that Jeremy’s at, he can see Steve pressing his lips together like he’s trying not to laugh.

Finally, he puts his hands on his hips and asks, “Why?”

“I’m putting myself in the mindset of a right angle so I can learn better,” Jeremy answers and Steve presses his lips together again. He shakes his head so Jeremy presses on, “It’s like method acting but for math. I’m becoming the angle. There’s like, a whole bunch of research and stuff about it online.”

Steve’s shoulders shake when he asks, “That so?”

“Yep, Mr. H. I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it.”

“Yeh, that’s up,” Steve composes himself. “That’s hypoten-news to me.”

The whole class groans.  

Eddie rolls his eyes at the pun but laughs at the three different videos he sees of the interaction. He thinks it’s hilarious and he thinks it’s even funnier when Steve retells the story later. He comments on one of the videos, “V funny, gonna steal this.”

A few days go by and then Eddie posts a Tiktok that’s just a compilation of him shouting ‘Going 90’ and Steve scrambling to catch him before he falls over. With each clip, Steve’s reaction gets slower and slower.

The first time Eddie does it, Steve drops everything he’s holding to stop Eddie tipping the barstool he’s on onto the floor. The second time, he follows Eddie into the grass when he goes 90 off the deck. The fifth time, Steve bear hugs him before he can get the phrase out. The fifteenth time, he just lets Eddie fall. 

[bubuslutty]

Angel on Duty: the first meeting

All Parts

pairing: demon/angel fem!reader x 141

word count: 2.1k

tags: semi-canon compliant, reader is described as having a tail and horns but calls herself 'Angel', do what you will with her real nature but she's simply sent down to fulfil a wish, no use of y/n, reader is referred to as 'Angel', 3rd person pov, minimal description of appearance, proofread by me so sorry for any mistakes

warning: none

summary: the 141 boys have a fantasy to get captain price the fuck of his life, but also share it amongst themselves, a shared cumdump if you will. which basically translates into "we need a woman to break our miserable old man, and break us in the process and rebuild us again just to do it all over again." they're just miserable and pent up and horny and want to be taken care of, that's all :)

a/n: there's no smut in here cuz this is just the intro. bon appétit either way 💞 also let me know if u wanna be added to my cod taglist 😖

What do you know about prayer? About wishing? Blowing birthday candles and wishing upon a star?

Ever since the beginning of time, it is man's nature to wish, hope and pray. To whom? That has always changed and shifted throughout the centuries, with prayers sent to different deities, angels, ancestors and so on.

But what humans don’t know is that all of their prayers, all of their wishing, if it was strong enough, if they really want it, really bad, their wishes just might become reality. And that was all done through a meticulously built system in another realm, where what humans considered angels worked day and night to realise them.

“Hold on, you’re not about to give me this much work when I’m literally getting paid minimum wage.” A woman said, waving a folder around in the air with wide eyes.

“If you have an issue, you can take it up to HR.” A man said unimpressed, not even looking up from his computer.

“Haha, funny. Seriously, why the hell did I get one wish and what? 8 humans??” The woman said, slapping the folder on the desk, making the man hiss in annoyance.

“Why must you be so difficult? It’s one wish and 8 humans who have the same wish? What’s so hard to understand? Get down there and do your thing.” The man said, visibly irritated, trying to shoo her away with one hand.

“You sent this down to my office and did not expect me to have questions?? If all little boys' wishes about becoming the next Ronaldo could be realised, Sandra down the sixth fraction would have 82 thousand humans, alone, to go through!” The woman said, hands on her hips and standing with her knees to the desk’s edge, casting her shadow on the man sitting in front of her.

“Who’s Sandra?” The man asked.

“I don’t know.”

The man finally stopped staring at his computer screen and stood up, rounding up his desk and grabbing the folder in his hand, “Did you even read the reports?”

“No, just the first page.” The woman said, twirling a hair strand in her finger while the man stared at her with an unimpressed look.

“For fuck sake…Okay, see here?” He said, pointing at the wish, which was a paragraph long. The woman nodded and he kept going, “This group of humans share the same wish, or fantasy to be more realistic, and it’s all linked together through one man.” He explained, flipping to another page and tapping a finger on a man’s profile and picture.

“Oh, he’s beautiful.” She said with a gasp, eyes flashing with a red light that made the man gulp and quickly look away from her face.

“They all work together and have this complex dynamic of friends, but also family, but also this relationship,” He said, flipping through the other profiles, and letting her look at every picture.

“What does that mean?” The woman tilted her head to the side in confusion.

“Their whole thing is a tangled mess of different dynamics with each other, but it all comes down to the first man I showed you, he’s like the glue of their team, but he’s what keeps them whole and sane, individually.” He said and glanced back at her and noticed her confusion but also the amazement on her face.

“They are fascinating…”

The man placed the folder back in her hands and turned to get his desk phone, “They are, now I’m going to call Beck to confirm some last details and you should be down in the mortal realm by tomorrow.

“Tomorrow?!”

“They’re moving in tomorrow, and so are you.” He said and watched her leave his office with a shocked but excited expression nonetheless. He walk out of the door without having to touch it for it to wing open, the long black tail swinging back and forth, poking from under her short skirt and the horns that almost grazed the top of the doorframe.

.

.

.

The woman stood in front of a beautiful house in the middle of London, hugging a white cat with black ears and a black tail to her chest as a lorry parked in the street, next to her taxi. “I guess this is where I’ll be living for the next weeks… Not bad.” She said, petting the furball in her arms while the taxi driver removed her bags from the trunk.

“Thank you.” She thanked the man with a smile, and he smiled back, a blush high on his cheekbones and reluctantly left, glancing at her over his shoulder every two steps.

Then another man approached her, dressed in a blue shirt and hat, “The keys ma’am?”

“Oh yes, sorry.” She gasped, placing the cat on the ground and running to her bag, retrieving a set of keys and handing them out to the man with a small smile.

“Thank you.” He nodded and started walking to the house while other men dressed in the same uniform spilt out of a van, surrounded the lorry and started helping each other in carrying furniture inside the house while she stood to the side, watching.

Suddenly another car parked in the driveway of the house right next to hers, and she watched with curiosity as four men exited the car, looking tired but excited at the same time. They looked huge, carrying dark green and black bags on their shoulders and heading straight to the door, but without glancing at the woman.

She fought against a grin and held eye contact, her cat, Kuromi, purring against her leg. Then she moved before she could think.

The four men froze at their doorstep, still staring at her as she walked up to them. That day she was wearing a back suit with black heels and a black bralette instead of a button-up, the trousers hugging her hips so well along with her legs.

“Hey, I just wanted to introduce myself as your new neighbour. I’m Angela Ali, but you can call me Angel.” She introduced her fake name and gave herself a better nickname, internally snickering at the irony.

“Well, hello, we’re also new here.” Soap spoke when nobody said anything, he even smiled back at the beautiful woman.

Her eyes widened in surprise, both at his thick Glaswegian accent and the information he just gave her (which she already knew but she had to act the part), “Really? I had no idea! Maybe we can be friends and look out for each other in this neighbourhood.”

“Yeah, that sounds great. I’m Johnny MacTavish, by the way.” He finally introduced himself and stuck out his hand, and when she shook his hand, he felt tingles at the bottom of his spine, making him let out a breathy laugh.

“I’m John, John Price.” The second man said, sticking out his hand and keeping his eyes respectfully on her face and nowhere else. It was so stupid, he was tired, yes, but not that tired to be easily dumbfounded by a random beautiful woman. And John prided himself in his manners, so when his eyes landed on her body as she walked up to them, he couldn’t help but drink in every dip and swell like he was deprived.

That’s so embarrassing.

Angel smiled and shook his hand, shivering when his warm big rough hands engulfed her smaller one. He was the same man she called beautiful that day she received her wish file. And he was, not in the way humans usually described something as beautiful. But to her, despite his huge body, thick thighs and arms, deep voice and beard, his eyes held something in them that pulled her in. She could sense the man’s thoughts, emotions, wants and needs.

“Nice to meet you, John.” She smiled at the man and turned to greet the other two, who both introduced themselves as Simon Riley and Kyle Garrick.

Simon was wearing a simple black surgical mask, covering the lower half of his face. But she already knew what he looked like, she has his profile. She knows he has a scar that runs through his upper lip on the left side of his face.

His pale blue eyes were intense, looking at her, calculating, careful, as if she was a threat, someone to look out for.

Angel let him be, staring as much as he wanted.

Kyle on the other hand was all smiley, radiating warmth and friendliness. He was handsome and charming, and made Angel want to talk to him for two hours straight. Did I mention his smile? That man's smile is absolutely beautiful. You would never guess he's a soldier, a killer, a beast in the field.

“I’ll let you get settled, now. See you around!” She said and turned around, walking back to her house, noticing that her bags were moved and Kuromi was meowing by the door while men in uniforms were still working as fast as they could, unpacking everything and placing the furniture where it belonged. She reached the door and picked up the cat, gave her a kiss on her little head and looked over her shoulder and saw how the four men were still staring at her, and they all immediately stumbled inside their house, slamming the door shut behind them.

Angel giggled and finally stepped inside her new home, shaking her head.

.

.

.

Angel lay on her stomach, on her new queen-sized bed with a pizza box on her side and a laptop casting its bright light on her face. She took another bite of her pizza and read through the document on the screen, which was a digital version of her wish file, with extra documents going more into detail about each man she was to work on for the next weeks.

“Alright, what do we have here? Childhood trauma…Oh, oh, poor lad…” She frowned at the screen and read along the lines explaining some of the things Simon went through, she had read almost everyone’s files in detail, and it was already dark out, probably around 11PM. Angel checked the time and gasped when she realised it was actually 2AM.

She even had files about their careers, she just quickly skimmed through them just to see if there was anything serious to watch out for, but ignored everything else, just because she wanted to give a chance for the men to surprise her, it wasn’t very fun when she knew everything. Plus she was going to spend a couple of weeks on this job, so she might as well make it fun for herself.

Her horns and her tail were nowhere to be seen because it was a rule to hide one's true identity when in the mortal realm, or at least the form they like to wear in the wish realm. And hers was a pair of horns and a tail because she thinks it's funny to take on the form of a demon when humans think their prayers and wishes go to angels.

She was not an angel, nor a demon for that matter really, her whole existence revolves around realising human's wishes, and her form? She can take on anything she feels comfortable in. But when she's interacting with humans, she must take on a human form to hide her true nature.

Her phone suddenly rang and she flinched, looking down at the vibrating device. On the screen, a clock and a reminder to 'EAT FOOD' could be seen. She turned off the reminder and hummed, "Yeah, yeah, I'm eating.."

You see, Angel, still struggles to get into the habit of eating regularly when in human form. No matter how many jobs she's completed, she somehow still forgets to eat because you don't have to eat in her realm, you don't even need to sleep or go to the toilet. So setting herself a reminder on her phone is necessary if she doesn't want to suddenly drop.

"Oh, I forgot to read my own files." She gasped, sitting up straight and placing her laptop on her lap. After a few clicks, she opened her own files, highlighting her new identity and timetable.

"Okay, I'm an only child… Single, of course, duh, and my job is a sex therapist!" She said, brows raised and quickly reading next lines. "I only have to go to the office two days a week?... Nice. And I'm a PhD student… in psychology?.."

Angel groaned and fell on her back, her laptop still in her hands, it seems like she needs to start doing some research on human education.

tag list (pls ask to be added or removed): currently empty

[superums]

rock-star! hobie x super-star! reader headcannons

ooc!hobie (maybe). gn!reader. mentions of girlfriend one time but that it. black coded!reader but its not heavy or anything. reader was supposed to be a rapper but i like the idea of a super star instead. i wanted to make the reader like sexyy red that didn't happen. theres a suggestive part. idk how to write his accent

color coded text: hobie , you

you guys are more alike than you think. touring, getting into fights, sometimes your music topics intersect beating people down, stealing peoples partners, rebelling against the system in some way, shape or form.

but where you're different is how you market yourselfs. hobies band is more about being loud about the hate for conforming and the system. they're vocal about political issues, they almost get banned from tv multiple times for broadcasting ideas that the man doesn't like.

you on the other hand, are seen as the super star of your generation. you rap, sing dance—you're the real deal. your music is very diverse depending on what you want to go for; you could sing the most heart wrenching songs about one sided love and the next track you could be rapping about getting white girl wasted and getting ████ed in the ████ in the car before an award show (which may or may not have happened).

anyways! you two keep your relationship as private as you can. you don't really talk about each other in interviews, you have a couple songs about each other but it's not really a common thing.

theres a lot of paparazzi pics of you two together though. theres pics of you and hobie walking out of after parties together, hanging with his friends, coming back from the grocery store and many, many photos of you two hugging and kissing.

hobie has like this sixth sense that makes him always find the camera so sometimes theres pictures of him grabbing as much of your ass as he can while smirking at the camera man thats walking behind you (which you didn't know whats there btw)

and every single times he dose that theres always a second picture of you hitting the back of his head or grabbing his ear.

*click* *click* *click* "stop doing that!" your face was getting hotter from embarrassment as you turned the corner faster trying to get away from the camera man. hobie could only smirk as he caught up to you easily, putting his hand on your shoulders before pulling you closer.

bringing one of his hands to your waist as the other snaked from your shoulder to your chest. "c'mon luv, you know i can't resist..." his breath hitting your ear as he leaned in to smell your neck before being cut off by a hit to his chest. you could practically hear his smirk as he pushed your hips back into his.

your stomach started to naught as you felt it on your behind. you closed your eyes almost forgetting the situation. *click* *clock* *click* your eyes snapped open as your hear the camera man behind you.

"oh hush you just think you're funny." hobie couldn't even hold back his laugh as he watched you walk in front of him with your arms crossed. "well it is! n' don't act like you don't like it."

if you're shy & bashful he would love to embarrass you but not in a ddg/halle bailey way but in a "omgggg stop guys🙈" kind of way like why is he parading around in a 'i 🩷 my gf' shirt and making out with you on national television

hobie dose not think it's right to be controlling over his partners nor dose he believe that you should be subservient to him—now with that being said he feels sick to his stomach when you collaborate with certain artists.

you had a song about partying in the club and your male feature was talking about fucking on you he couldn't even bring himself to post the song on a ig story. he actually fell to his knees !!!

speaking of feeling sick! if you ever twerk on someone just for a performance or have to grind on someone during a dance he doesn't get super angry or whatever but in the inside he's like 'im abt to kms'. he's very dramatic!!

he hates when people try to put you in the role of just being his partner and nothing else—he will literally sit there and argue with someone if they ever try to sit there and say you're nothing but a pretty face.

he feels a certain way if you ever get uber rich. he knows thats most if not all artist want to live comfortably and he understands that you aren't the corrupt system that exploits others, hell you're getting exploited in some way.

BUT if you ever have a million dollars his would would feel a little VERY unsettled. he'd probably break up with you lol he wouldn't want to sound like a hater but he'd try to be like "heyyy how about we donate some money to a shelter or something🙈🫶🏿💗❓"

but if you're dating him he won't have to worry about that because you have to be at least a little political (and he'd have to agree with your views)

you might not be an anarchist, you don't even have to classify yourself with one political party but you have to at least be anti-capitalist, anti-establishment and pro-black.

speaking of politics he gets arrested all the time for protesting and you'll have to get used to that. like every few weeks you will have to pic him up from jail because he was arrested for conspiracy to riot or something on the lines of that.

IF you two ever collab you'll have to find a middle ground because he cannot sing (that is cannon!) and you should never try to get him too unless you want your engineer to be slaving away trying to get him to sound listenable.

he's lowkey your arm candy and he doesn't mind it at all. like if you get invited to the grammies or something he'll always come with you (his group will most likely never get nominated bc of the topics they like to talk about.) but he's never wearing a suit he just likes to dress like this:

in return you'll probably have to dress in a lot of black id you want to match or don't... he'll be like your statement piece for the night

if he's with you when you get your first award he'll literally pic you up and jump up and down with you for a few seconds before letting you go

if you normally win at award shows he just kisses you for a few seconds before letting go up to accept it

either way doesn't like to go up on stage with you hen you accept awards because he feels like he takes away from your moment but he dose walk you off and on stage. the only way he'll ho up on stage with you is if you're like crying really heavy then.

his band mates probably thought you were gonna be the hit it & quit it type because usually punks and non-punks don't last long but they were a little surprised when 1) you two lasted long and 2) you agreed with their views despite being industry.

sum sum sum idk how to end this

[bellamyblakru]

@its-hyperfixation i am so fucking sorry its so late😭today was the first day i tested negative!!! and with that good news, i wrote you a tiny oneshot in honor of our wedding anniversary. i love you so so so so so much. and im continuously proud of everything you do. im beyond grateful to have you in my life, and i hope i can keep you in it for absolutely ever. thank you for sticking by my side for so long😭🩷i will stay there for as long as you’ll have me!!!! i love you my love, my arthur to my merlin, my rowan to my aelin, my f1 to my kpop🥺🩷one day!!!

do not feel sorry (it’s just like a yawn when it is not enough)

Merlin was trying—really, he was, but after five nights in a row of the same fucking nightmare, sleep was almost as nonexistent as his appetite at this point.

But he was fine.

He told Gaius that he was fine after he tripped and fell over the desk that’s been in that same spot for over five years, he told Gwen he was fine after stumbling into her during their morning walks, he told Lance and Gwaine he was fine when he managed to avoid having lunch with them four days in a row.

Did they believe him? That didn’t really matter, nor did he try to look too closely at their suspicious eyes following him everywhere he went.

Arthur pretended not to see Merlin drop all the laundry the third time in a row, or when he spilled all the dishes three inches away from the table, or when he slipped on the floors he just cleaned and fell directly into the king’s arms. Arthur had simply righted Merlin back up and went on his way. It was actually quite out of character—so much so that each time Merlin fumbled, he stayed completely still, waiting for the yells of annoyance that weirdly never came.

By the sixth day of mistakes, Merlin had enough.

“Are you okay?”

Arthur peered up from his lunch, looking first at the dirty laundry spread out on the floor then at the frustrated, and rather exhausted, Merlin whose hands were firmly on his hips out of frustration.

“Me?”

Merlin rolled his eyes, “Yes, you. Who else would I be asking?”

“I’m fine,” Arthur chose to ignore the jabs for now, focusing on Merlin’s face as it morphed back and forth between confusion and tiredness.

“Are you sure?”

Arthur stood up, stretched, came around his desk, and then leaned against it to have a better look at his servant.

“Yes.”

Merlin narrowed his eyes, but it truly did seem his king was feeling alright. He figured he might as well talk about what was wrong here.

“Well,” Merlin started, unsure yet loud enough that he could hear, “you haven’t been yelling at me.”

Surprisingly, Arthur let out a loud chuckle, the noise making Merlin’s eyes widen in even more confusion.

“What’s so funny about that?” Merlin crossed his arms defiantly, kicking some pretend dust on the ground to avoid looking back up. “It’s true.”

“Ah, Merlin,” Arthur laughed a little more. “Is that the only thing you wanted to talk about?”

Merlin would be lying if he said he knew that his king meant—and with the lack of everything lately, he was sure it was affecting what he could have missed.

“I think so?”

Sighing, Arthur walked towards Merlin, and then suddenly guided them both to the edge of his giant bed. Merlin let him—out of confusion and mostly because of the fact that he couldn’t fight him off even if he wanted to.

“Morgana and Gwen told me I had to be patient with you, but, honestly, with the way you’re going, I think you would kill youself before saying anything to me.”

Merlin tilted his head, “With the way I’m going?”

“Dumbass,” Arthur gently flicked his servant’s forehead. “Do you even know that you look like a walking carcass?”

“Do I?” Merlin looked down at himself, moving his fingers back and forth. “I think I look normal.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” Arthur sighed again, rubbing his own forehead in frustration. “Merlin-,” he looked the warlock directly in the eyes, the motion freezing Merlin more than anything could, “-what’s wrong? Why aren’t you getting sleep?”

As if that was all it took, Merlin immediately slouched, his eyes watering up at the question, and he tried to cover it up with his hands holding his hands. But it was too late, Arthur had already seen it, lightly forcing Merlin’s hands away to rub the tears off himself. The featherlight action was so tender that Merlin felt like he was barely even there.

Was this actually his Arthur? His Arthur, the one that gets annoyed too easily? Mad quickly? Kills for a living? Was he always this soft?

“Merlin,” another tear wiped away, “please tell me what’s been going on. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.”

That was the point, wasn’t it? Merlin never wanted to let people in, to see the world as burnt and empty as he sometimes saw it, to see the world as broken and shattered and lost as he did.

“I…”

And when Arthur only looked back at him with so much concern and attention, Merlin felt he had no other choice but to tell the truth.

“I…been having nightmares.”

“Do you want to talk about them?”

Merlin hesitated. Did he want to? No. Should he? He remembered his mother once telling him that burdens are better lifted when they were shared by the shoulders of the people we loved, and suddenly, he didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore.

His head fell to his king’s shoulder, “It’s always the same. I’m on the pyre. You’re on the one in front of me. But,” Merlin shook his head into Arthur, the king responding with kind reassurances and soft motions on the warlock’s back. “But I never burn—it’s you. I watch you burn and burn and burn, and I can never get to you in time. One night, I would get mere inches away before it exploded, while the other I would be too tightly bound myself to even get an inch closer—but every night I never make it to you. I can never save you.”

By the end, Merlin’s cries were being completely absorbed by Arthur’s newly cleaned red tunic, but the king didn’t complain nor move, only holding the warlock closer to him.

“When I try to eat, I can only taste soot. When I blink too long, I see your face staring at me through the flames. When I walk, I see you getting further away from me. I’m so tired, Arthur…”

Merlin’s voice quieted as he continued, his wet eyes blinking slowly on Arthur’s shoulder.

Arthur took Merlin’s face between his hands, gently lifting the servant to face him, before whispering, “You’re safe here, Merlin. You can sleep here—I’ll keep us both safe, okay? No one can get in here and take me away.”

Merlin drowsily nodded, his face covered in snot and tears and a sadness that Arthur hated to see more than he could even admit.

Slowly, Arthur moved them both to lay on his bed, Merlin tucked safely in his side, the warlock’s legs wrapped around the king’s torso as if to make sure the man wouldn’t move a muscle as he slept. And even though Arthur wasn’t originally tired, being wrapped up in someone he loved so completely drew him right into a peaceful sleep (and not that he will mention it, but these past few days watching Merlin was ruining his own sleep schedule, too.).

By the time Merlin woke up, it was early daylight. He barely opened his eyes, opting to slowly rubbing the person’s back that he held in his arms.

His eyes flew open and his body stiffened once he remembered he doesn’t sleep with anyone, but he only found a softly smiling, already awake Arthur looking at him with so much love that Merlin’s fully melted back into him.

Was this heaven? Merlin would have to say it was at least it’s his perfect heaven.

“How are you feeling?” Arthur asked, his voice still a bit raspy from sleep.

Merlin didn’t avoid the usual urge to move Arthur’s hair out of his face, “Better. You?”

Humming his “good,” Arthur basically purred into Merlin’s hand, making the warlock giggle, moving to play with the king’s hair instead.

After a few seconds of peaceful silence, Merlin felt the guilt gnaw at his heart enough to stop and look at the king in his arms.

“I’m sorry if I made you worry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Arthur huffed, moving Merlin’s hand back to their place in his hair. “You made everyone worry, you dingus. I was yelled at to give you space by multiple people—but it turns out I have very little patience for such things.”

Merlin laughed lightly—that was more like the king than anything else that has happened lately.

“Merlin,” Arthur smiled, making sure the servant was looking at him. “You are not alone anymore. I know you had to be for so long, but you’re not anymore. Not as long as I’m around. I know how much shit you carry—please let me help you hold it all. I have broad shoulders, I can carry more than your scrawny little things.”

Again, Merlin puffed out a laugh, but he stopped in favor of holding Arthur’s face, holding the golden king so gingerly as though he was made out of porcelain.

“If I burn, you burn?”

Arthur took Merlin’s hand from his face and kissed his palm—“Wherever you go, I go. And if it be to death, let it be. I go willingly. No fires can stop our future. We will always find our way around the scorched edges.”

“Together, huh?” Merlin whispered, still in a bit of a disbelief that this was real, that Arthur had accepted him so completely that they could do this as one.

“Hmmhmm, but before that,” Arthur jumped up randomly, surprising Merlin as the king’s hand reached out for him. “Let’s get breakfast.”

Giggling, Merlin gratefully grabbed the offered hand, his starving stomach roaring as if in answer.

It wasn’t going to be easy or perfect or without pain, but his dream was wrong. He knew that now.

If Arthur was on the pyre, Merlin was always going to reach him—no one, nothing, could ever stop him otherwise.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 14: My Dinner With Bigfoot (SMUT)

*hola, amigos, we have a little sprinkling of smut throughout the chapter. 

Oh, yeah, this is gonna be spread out since variety is the spice of life. don't do stuff in the woods though. you will get arrested in real life. HAVE FUN!

for the less corrupted amongst us, there are some slightly spicy scenes towards the middle that aren't too bad, followed by genuine smut so look out for the warnings since we'll be going in and out of mature content*

Friday night, date night. Or at least it was supposed to be.

Things had been busy lately. Since the loss of the fifth and sixth Man Cave, there had been a lot of baloney about sorting stuff out. That new Man Cave smell was nice but it was so formal and stiff, not the kind of thing you wanted for your home, so Ray and (y/n) had made good on their promise to each other.

Not the new wardrobe thing, although Ray did take his sweet girl out shopping one afternoon and returned carrying fourteen bags just to rival every other man in the mall who was following their wife or girlfriend around like a lovesick puppy. 

Every surface. No joke. That's what he'd whispered in her ear, so that's what they'd done, desecrating their new bed as well as the shower, the guest shower, a few walls, the hall, the couch, the computer's chair, the kitchen and the tubes. Animals. 

Things were back to normal, which meant a quiet night in was needed with the two of them and a bottle of red. No funny business, that's what Ray had said, not because he didn't love fucking her whenever and wherever but because after getting scolded by Schwoz for leaving evidence strewn across the Man Cave, he decided they needed to dial it back a bit.

And that had led to them enjoying a very fine evening in their room, nothing lewd or suggestive, just the two of them curled up on the floor with a blanket next to a TV with a looped video of a fireplace on the monitor. It was a bit corny as they sipped their wine and giggled when it went to their heads, laughing when Ray fed (y/n) a strawberry and booped her nose. 

It was cute and there wasn't stuff. Ray had told Schwoz there wouldn't be and that's how it was staying. That was the plan, anyway.

"You know what this reminds me of?" the man mumbled as he watched his lover swirl the blood-red liquid in her glass before putting it down to focus on his words. He was languishing against a half-moon of pillows, arms stretched along the row and his legs spread in front of him so she could shuffle closer, curl into his side and rest her head against his chest.

"What?" 

"The first time I took you out to dinner..." he said softly and tucked a loose strand of her behind her ear when it fell from her lowering her gaze shyly. It was a bit weird, he knew that this was nothing like the first time he took her out to dinner, whether it be they were "friends" or lovers.

"What? You do know that we weren't sitting on the floor or alone in your bedroom on either occasion," (y/n) giggled, sitting up so she could look at him properly and possibly sneak a sip from the wine glass he raised to his lips, even though she had her own. 

God, her younger self would kill to know what her future held and would've died and gone to heaven at the idea of her best friend pulling her into his lap so their faces were at the same level, his hand on her bare thigh, fingers grazing under her dress innocently as he pecked her lips.

"I know, but it feels the same. But this time, you're not my friend or my girlfriend...you're my wife," Ray grinned and tilted his head forward to catch her lips once more in a slow, sloppy, uncoordinated dance that was enough to set a fire alight in (y/n)'s core. Her hips shifted and tilted to press against his clothed cock, which was barely hard, merely twitching with slight interest as his jeans gave her a glimpse of pleasure. 

They shouldn't--couldn't, she knew that. This was meant to be relaxing, a chance for them to catch up with clothes on but she couldn't help it. Call her crazy after the Christening of The Cave as it had come to be known but she wanted him. She always had and it was that which convinced her. 

Until the taste of wine became sharp and sour on her tongue and she remembered that her past self never had to contend with tipsy Ray.

"Doofus..." she giggled, pulling away from his lips, although she remained firmly on his lap, clit pulsating against the rough coolness of his zipper, "I think someone has had a little too much wine...I'm not your wife yet."

"You should be...you're so pretty and smart. My sweet girl..." he mumbled and dragged his thumb over her bottom lip as he pouted at the thought of yet more waiting. He pouted even more when she took his wine glass from his hand, the one that had been dangerously close to tipping its contents all over them as he lost himself in her honey taste, and placed it next to hers away from the blanket.

No spillages, thank you. Instead, the chilled Pinot was left to go lukewarm as her hands returned to his shoulders to keep him pushed against their pillow next and his eyebrows twitched at the sudden change in the atmosphere. 

He could feel it; the way she looked at him, the way her thighs trembled when his grip slid to her waist and how her weight seemed to shift to press against him at the right angle and make him stiffen. 

"I know what we can do in the meantime," (y/n) smirked and slotted her mouth against his, expecting him to play right into her hands and remap his territory with his typical vigour. Ray loved pinning her down, ravishing her, taking what he wanted, especially when he was given such a tempting invite, so it was a surprise when he pulled away.

"No, sweet girl, what did we say?" the man growled and held her away from him by wrapping a gentle hand around her throat. He didn't squeeze, it just rested there as a reminder that despite his reluctance to spread her out and have his fill, he was very much in charge. However, it didn't stop her from whining and rocking her cunt against him once as a protest.

"But--"

"No buts. I promised Schwoz that we just having a quiet dinner in a room, nothing that will cause him any grief," she huffed at the name of the genius, who right now was the enemy since it was his complaint that meant his free hand was clutching her pelvic bone to keep her still. 

So what if he found her bralette on top of the microwave? It was nothing he hadn't seen before but apparently, finding the matching panties hanging from a monitor in the main room was the final straw. Whoops.

"So? We'll just have to be extra careful next time we fuck in front of the TV," the heroine giggled, drawing another growl from his lips as he casually pressed butterfly kisses to her jaw. There wasn't gonna be the next time, not if he could help it, no matter how irresistible the offer was, but he figured a peck or two couldn't hurt.

"Needy little girl..."

"And besides. What we do in our room isn't up to Schwoz. If he finds something in here, then it's his fault, not mine when I want you to fuck me in our bed, in our bedroom, with the door shut," she whispered hotly into his ear, biting the lobe as she made her point and began grinding her clothed pussy into his lap, where he was getting undeniably hard from her begging.

Her dress was flimsy, thin and the sort of garment he didn't like to see her walk outside in just because she looked as if she could freeze to death at any moment, in any weather. But she didn't intend to walk away, not when she had him to keep her warm and the delightful friction between her legs, which had perfect access in the dress he hated to love. 

But even he couldn't resist bunching her dress around her thighs and pushing it up to her belly button, revealing the lacy panties she'd put on underneath. Fuck him, they were soaked, sliding over his painfully hard cock that throbbed at the sight of her rutting against him--a show only for him. 

He wasn't going back on his word, he was just looking with hooded eyes. Nothing wrong with that. 

"But I'm not gonna fuck you, darlin'. Not here, not tonight. Not after someone else got to see your panties and I had to collect them," the hero told her firmly, swallowing the lump in his throat when she wailed and sagged against him. The look in her eyes suggested mutiny as if he'd betrayed her in the worst way as her hips kept moving--almost madly now that he'd said that.

He'd be a liar if he said the thought of pushing into her wet little hole didn't make him want to cream his pants, he could tell from the mess she was making that she was desperate despite them being very...active over the past few days. But that was the problem, she wasn't there when a mortified Schwoz handed over a pile of freshly laundered underwear whilst wearing rubber gloves with him as the equally mortified recipient. 

"Wha---Ray, that's not fair! I need it--want your cock so bad! Can't you see how wet I am?" she whined, pulling at his shirt like a petulant child who couldn't get her way. Her fingers snaked to cup her mound, where she gathered an embarrassing amount of slick that had seeped through the lace on two fingers. Even through his jeans, she could make out the head of his cock straining against the denim and her mouth dropped open when it poked and teased her entrance.

"Which is why you're going to get yourself off like this. Rubbing your pretty clit and begging me for more, so come on. Make yourself cum," Ray challenged, giving her a hard stare, which she shrank under. He wasn't gonna--huh? 

She could do as he asked, with him talking so filthily in her ear, it was easy but what she desired was so close. It didn't make sense that he'd sit there and torture himself like that when it would be so easy to unzip his pants and free his cock, let her bounce on it a little until they were both falling apart. And yet here he was, gazing down at her so cockily as his hands started to pull her hips back and forth.

"But I want to ride and cum on your cock, like I did on the couch--wanna feel you so deep inside--" she muttered squeakily as her hand went inside her panties and began circling her clit in a figure of eight. He seemed pleased with how she carried out his barked orders and fondled her tit through her dress as she did until her stupid mouth got her into trouble for being bratty.

"What did I say, little one? You'll take whatever I do or don't give you and endure. I want you to cum like this," he replied harshly and the hand that had been pinching at her nipples left them alone to smack her ass harshly, causing her cunt to brush against his cock deliciously. A hiss left his lips and as much as he wanted to take care of her, was suddenly, selfishly starting to wish that he could fill her up.

This was yet another part of his game and she loved playing it no matter how frustrated she became when the stimulation on her throbbing bud wasn't enough. Poor thing, she had it too easy, thinking she would get fucked every time her pussy started aching, but he had to teach her that bad girls don't get what they want. 

"Please..." she pleaded, nuzzling her head under his jaw and kissing his pulse point in a bid to get as close to him as possible. Maybe if she reminded him that she was his good girl, his sweet girl, his cute, innocent future wife, he'd give in.

"No..." he growled, refusing to touch her any more than he already was; hands on her ass, tits and waist, lips nibbling at her neck, no more. It added to her frustration when he let groaned lowly in the back of his throat, no doubt kicking his orgasm away as she teetered on the edge of hers.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't--please!" (y/n) begged. No matter how hard she tried, how quickly she rubbed, how deeply she ground, her release was always out of reach, running away as soon as she chased it and only he had what she needed to grasp it. 

Again, he denied her, helping her movements against him as if that was any help. The only real thing he did was seize the top of her panties between his two fingers and thumb before ripping the elastic. The lace was shredded, useless and able to peel away easily from her figure after that, meaning her cunt was bare and free to ruin his pants as she wished, even if the increased friction was laughable. 

"Fuck, you're soaked, sweetheart. This all for me? This the hole you want fucked?" he asked mockingly as his fingers finally stroked through her velvety slick, causing her mouth to fall open and her pussy to move against them greedily. A fingertip breached her hole and she screamed, hands balling his shirt as one digit slid into her and then another straight away.

Her head nodded weakly as she sobbed at finally having something to clench around but it was nowhere near enough. Not when she was used to stretching around his girth as he pounded the life out of her.

"More--please--need your--cock--"

"How many times, filthy girl? I'm not fucking you right now, you can cum on my hand," Ray tried to remain firm, scissoring his fingers to try and make them feel bigger. Honestly, he didn't care about Schwoz, it was his Man Cave, he'd fuck his fiancée wherever he liked but it provided a good excuse to tease her and drag their date out a little more. 

He loved her like this and had planned to woo her, bed her, make love to her during the evening, forgetting his promise to Schwoz. Although, he didn't expect to be quite like this.

"But--but you could fuck me, fuck my pussy...anywhere," his fingers stilled inside her and his eyes met hers with a steely gaze, causing her to carry on with needy confidence, "you said you would and you still haven't. Captain, why haven't you fucked my ass yet?"

The effect was instantaneous and better than she could have ever imagined. Ray's hand was ripped from her cunt and she whined at that, only to whimper when he roared and pushed her to the blanket roughly. Within seconds, he was swiftly crawling up her body whilst simultaneously fumbling to free his weeping member, which was straining after that suggestion.

That had been pushed to the back of their minds, on the table but ignored for now since they'd never had enough time to do it safely and properly but that didn't mean he wasn't desperate to try it. He still wanted to see her every hole claimed, sated and owned by him, so her teasing rose the beast within him that wanted her on all fours for him to see.

"You're so bad--bad fucking girl. My girl," he grumbled in her ear as she braced herself on her hands and knees, skirt flicked over her ass, and looked back to see his perfect, glorious cock pulled from his zipper. He was leaking, an angry-red colour and bobbing deliciously as he hissed from the cool air; it was clear that he couldn't be bothered to properly take off their clothing, not after she'd said that.

"I'm gonna fuck this pussy so hard and then, if you're lucky, I might start practising stretching this hole out, ready for my--" Ray rambled, letting himself get lost in the fantasy as his head pressed against her entrance and gently began to break her open. The burn was heavenly and (y/n) groaned throatily at the relief it provided, thinking they were the only people in the world at that moment.

That is until she looked up and saw through blurry eyes how the door handle was turning. 

With a squeal, she instinctively crawled forward and away from Ray, snatching a blanket from the pile next to their nibbled-at dinner and draped it across her lap quicker than her lover could blink or keep hold of her.

"What the fuc--" he snarled, outraged and confused that she'd moved away at such a crucial moment when he was half-cocked and dying to slip inside her walls. Seeing nothing but red, he thought that she was playing some devilish game and so, he went to grab her, intent on spanking her ass until it was red and sore and in need of her superpower to make it better. But then he saw it too.

The doorknob had made a half-rotation and he only had a fraction of a second to yank a cushion from next to her head and press it into his crotch when the door was pushed open by the one person Ray did not want to see at that moment. 

They'd fallen against the pillows, panting, sweaty and trying to appear as if they'd merely been sipping wine and not on the verge of fucking, when Jasper entered the room, staring at his phone and unaware as to what he'd walked in on. 

Of course, it was him.

"J-Jasper, what are you doing in our bedroom?" (y/n) asked breathlessly, trying to fan her warm cheeks in a subtle way that wasn't subtle at all. Anyone with half a brain could realise what had been going on just by how warm and close the air was, how warm and close they were, if they only took a minute to observe. 

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" Ray asked darkly, glaring at the boy as he felt his cock soften and the mood vanish. He was still desperate, raring to go and would give anything to slide into his sweet girl had he not rudely interrupted. 

"Oh, uh, yeah...you said that you were gonna join me and Henry tonight, remember?" the boy said, looking up from his phone to see nothing out of the ordinary.

It was damn lucky that Jasper only had a quarter of a brain, otherwise, they'd have a lot of explaining to do with very red faces. But he was oblivious to their sticky foreheads and stiff shoulders, plus the way Ray refused to move the cushion from his pants as he thought about the boy's words.

"Oh...yeah. That," he mumbled, sending an apologetic glace to his puzzled lover, who hadn't heard of this arrangement before. What a fool Ray was; he'd agreed to the boys' night with the teens since they rarely had any guy time. So, tonight they were gonna be reckless, dumb and crazy, keeping their youth alive. And it seemed that he'd double-booked the date too. Oh, hell.

"What? Look, Jasper, I'm sorry but Ray's gonna have to miss whatever you've planned 'cause we've still got half a bottle to finish as well as something else, so--" she laughed nervously, feeling highly uncomfortable that her dearest Curly was in the room when she was aching on the inside. 

She didn't care about whatever they'd planned, she thought Ray would choose her over a stupid night playing video games and eating candy. How wrong she was.

"So, just gimme a minute. I'll be right there," Ray told Jasper, gulping to keep his voice steady as (y/n) looked at him with shocked, wide eyes and an open mouth. The boy grinned and walked off, calling to Henry down the hall to get the popsicles from the freezer, leaving the woman to gawk in silence as they breathed again.

"Wh--what? You can't leave me here!" she gasped as she relaxed into the blanket and expected Ray to do the same, but no. When he said he'd be right there, he meant it and was already tucking himself away and doing up his zipper as she laid there, still wet and needy. 

He looked sorry, apologetic and remorseful but even so, that didn't stop him from standing up to grab a moist napkin from their dinner table to dab away any embarrassing stains and freshen himself up. 

"Precious girl, this is my fault. We arranged this night ages ago and I can't let Henry down...or the other one," Ray told her gently as he finished scrubbing himself and threw the napkin onto the tray again. She scoffed as he looked in the mirror and ran a hand through his tousled locks, smiling softly as she scowled and stamped her foot against the carpet. It was childish but she was distraught.

"But you can't leave me here without fucking me first..." the heroine muttered and grabbed the leftover wine to take a large swig--much-needed fortification to quench the blaze inside of her. The burn in her throat was unpleasant and made her eyes water but she hid the discomfort well, welcoming it to mask her frustration. How could he walk away? Was he not burning up as she was?

"I promise I'll fuck you later, yeah? Later, I swear," he insisted, deeming his appearance suitable enough to show a couple of teenagers and stepping away from the mirror. His smile met her glare and he leaned down to kiss her goodbye, probably the last one of the night since they were set to pull an all-nighter. However, (y/n) couldn't help but linger and try to swipe his tongue into his mouth--a play to entice him back that ultimately failed.

"Later. I'm holding you to that," she said to him firmly as he pulled away before his semi could return at full force. He couldn't deny that he still wanted her and was equally frustrated but he had to hide it well for the kids. They didn't need to see that.

"Later," he repeated and with one final peck on her forehead, he swept out of the room, leaving her a trembling mess in their rudimentary picnic spot. She'd finish herself off to the roaring of the fake fire but it wasn't enough. It could never be and she couldn't help but wonder.

Was Jasper an idiot or was he just being purposefully annoying?

*SAFETY AT LAST. Not my best but we've more yet to come, so stay tuned my fellow sinners--Onwards with the episode!*

~Many long hours later~

Annoying. Very annoying. They all were so damn annoying. One, two and three.

(y/n) had slept alone that night, had gone to bed in a frightful mood and all because of their stupid, ridiculous, testosterone-fuelled party. And it was a party—a big one. 

At one point, she'd woken up at three-thirty to go pee when she heard their rowdy voices in the main room, shouting something about Henry finishing an entire can of soda in eight seconds. Full sugar, no doubt, that's what they ran off for the past god knows how long. The binge hadn't stopped when the sun rose, not when their sugar highs nosedived and not when Charlotte came to work at nine to see a very grumpy woman sitting in the chaos as she'd tried to eat breakfast. 

For the life of her, Charlotte couldn't work out why the heroine was so grumpy and tetchy, it wasn't like her at all but in the end, she'd put her snide remarks and long sighs down to her being tired and moody from Ray's antics. 

Hell, she'd only been there five minutes and she was tired from their conga line, so to escape from the tornado of pizza and smelly armpits, the girls had legged it to the safety of a cafe for the morning, hoping that by the time they'd finished gossiping and sipping cappuccinos, they'd be sleeping it off on the floor or couch. That was so naive of them.

It's how they'd ended up where they were now; one of the boys, assisting in something bovine and moronic frolic that required more players than they had. What the hell even was a haircut chain?

"How's it lookin', Henry?" Jasper asked his friend as the boy stood behind him. This was their big idea; they each stand behind one another with lasers--very dangerous, highly unpredictable lasers--so that they could give each other haircuts. Yeah, Charlotte and (y/n) didn't understand either.

"Lookin' gooood!" Henry replied with a smirk as he lightly trimmed Jasper's hair so it was a gradual fade and not a severe cut. The lasers were at their weakest setting, which meant they were being irresponsibly complacent since they merely saw it as a free haircut, nothing more. "How's it lookin', Ray?"

"Lookin' ooooookay!" the man said happily as he zapped at the stray hairs on his sidekick with an experienced hand. Behind him, his sweet girl and Charlotte were doing the same to him, although the woman needed to stand on a ladder held steady by the girl to match his tall stature. She was still thrumming on the inside, she could feel it when she walked and could see it in his gaze when they'd come home but still, the wait went on. 

"How's it lookin', sweet girl? Charlotte?"

"We do not know what we're doing, doofus," she replied dryly, squinting to ensure that she was cutting in a straight line. She'd never cut her hair let alone someone else's and as it happened, she was quite fond of Ray's floppy floof. She didn't want to see it ruined so she was trying her best to not mess it up, but it was hard when she and Charlotte kept swapping to take turns on the ladder.

"What?!" Ray suddenly exclaimed and raised a hand to shield his brown locks as they ceased lasering. His hair was practically sacred, one of Captain Man's best features, to cut it without some skill was sacrilege. "Why would you mess with the Man Mane if you don't know what you're doing?"

"You told us it didn't matter!" Charlotte argued, wondering why he was being so crabby too. She didn't know if the happy couple were in the middle of a domestic or what but fifteen hours of sugar and soda had not helped the man, who was getting to be strangely antsy.

"When did I say that?" Ray asked in an innocent tone, although he remembered the precise moment quite well.

"Ten minutes ago, you doofus? Remember? When we walked out of the elevator and found you guys dancing around chanting, haircut chain, haircut chain, haircut chain!" the heroine refrained from punching his shoulder, knowing that if she did, the contact might make her spontaneously combust. The coffee was still fresh on her tongue as well as the fluttering from the butterflies after seeing him again...

~

"Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain!" Ray, Henry and Jasper chanted as they paraded around the Man Cave, waiting for the return of the girls.

They could hear the elevator coming down and were eagerly anticipating getting them to join, so it was quite the surprise for the two friends to step into the main room and see them so excited. As painful as it was to see them still so energetic, it warmed (y/n)'s heart to see her doofus again after four hours and three iced hazelnut lattes later; maybe it was her, but his gaze seemed ravenous for a split second before his cheerful grin resumed. 

"Hey! We're gonna cut each other's hair!" Henry exclaimed, not caring if they were still holding their final takeout cups of Jet Brew. He was on his fifteenth popsicle, caring wasn't an option anymore.

"With lasers!" Jasper shrieked and (y/n) shared a look with Charlotte when his breath practically tore their faces off, Maybe leaving them unsupervised was a bad idea, but damn, they'd needed that coffee to pull through whatever this was.

"You in?!" Henry offered with a determined glint in his eyes that they didn't share. 

"I do not know how to give a haircut with a laser."

"Yeah, me neither," they told him, wanting to make sure that they were aware that if they went near their beloved styles, there could be irreversible consequences. But as always, Ray wasn't a responsible adult and when his lover turned to look at him with fleeting eyes, he ignored any warning since it put a dampener on his spirits.

"Doesn't matter!" Well, he was the one who said it. That counted as permission in their eyes, the terms and conditions that hadn't been read but regardless, they'd accepted them. 

"Then, okay..."

"I still say this is a bad idea," (y/n) muttered and took a long sip from her latte, letting its familiar milkiness take her back to her younger days. She knew that the haircuts were gonna be a disaster just from the way the chanting started up again, although this time, lasers were fired at the ceiling.

"Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain!" the boys shouted, firing laser after laser at the rock face above their heads. Ray only stopped to kiss his sweet girl after hours of not seeing her properly but when she went to cup his face and linger, he pulled away to start dancing with his fellow gibbons. 

You'd think he'd be a little more clingy considering that he hadn't crawled into bed with her that night and had been sorely missed by his sweet girl but that would come later, once the sugar tap had been turned off. The (y/n) withdrawal symptoms would come back with full force and so would his bone-crushing hugs and need to kiss her frequently - amongst other things. 

~

"That didn't happen," Henry shook his head and peeled his eyes away from where he was lasering to look back at the girls. He was tired, sluggish and fuzzy so they didn't believe him, even if it was three against two.

"Yes, it did!"

"Who are you going to believe, Charlotte? Your own flawed memory or three guys who've been up all night playing video games and eating popsicles?" Ray asked and pursed his lips as he recalled the long night he'd just experienced. 

Truth be told, he was getting a little too old for that kind of thing and looking at the pile of popsicle sticks on the table, he knew he'd have acid reflux at some point--it was just one of those things. Getting a good night's sleep after finishing his still unfinished business with his sweet girl sounded much better, but he was way too proud to admit that. 

"Yeah, that's not a tough choice, you morons," (y/n) said with a scoff, although her point was marred slightly when she leaned forward on the ladder to press a kiss to the nape of Ray's neck. She enjoyed watching him shiver and hoped that he was reminded about what his fun night had cost, something that highly amused Charlotte as she stopped the ladder from tipping.

"Yeah, exactly. Popsicle boys!" the kid squeaked immaturely and in a move that somewhat disturbed the insulted girls, wiggled his fingers against Ray's as they made a stupid sound. The hero might've been shaking from the inrush of cold air after his lover had her lips on him but he didn't miss a beat, unlike Henry, who missed an awful lot since his focus was elsewhere.

"You might wanna look where you're lasering," Charlotte advised. She wasn't the one on a platform like (y/n) but even from her position, she had an excellent view of Henry's lack of movement, meaning she could see how he'd been going over the same spot on Jasper's head for the past three minutes. It kinda looked like a mole rat now, smooth and fully shaved, not what the boy had asked for. 

"You better look where (y/n)'s lasering!--ah!" he retorted cockily, thinking that she was simply buying into the playful banter until his gaze wandered back to his work to see that what was once a masterpiece was now ruined. 

From his ear downwards, Jasper's hair was gone; it kinda looked like a mole rat now, smooth and fully shaved, not what the boy had asked for, meaning a horrified, squeaky gasp fell from Henry's lips. 

"What was that?" Jasper asked nervously as he felt the gentle heat on his head stop and a draft brush against his skin. It didn't feel like any other haircut he'd had given how cold everything felt and it was like he could sense their stares burning into the back of his head as if something had gone wrong. 

"Uh...nothing," Henry stammered, wondering how he was gonna fix the mistake if there was no hair left to work with when Schwoz came through the secret door, minding his own business and carrying a picnic basket. 

"No, no, no, you tiny screamed," Jasper tried to bring his focus back, knowing that his friend only screeched like that when something was wrong.

"Uh, dude, it was nothing--Hey, Schwoz! Random question...do you have anything that regrows hair?"

"What?!" The boy's hand flew to the back of his head as he heard the not-so-subtle question and even he understood that Henry was trying to say that he'd screwed up the haircut chain. The genius was so conveniently in the room now and so, Henry thought that he'd have a solution since that was his expertise and helpfully, he did. 

"Don't worry, I got something," Schwoz reassured them, seeing the utter panic on Jasper's face and the guilt on Henry's, so he pulled a tube from his pocket and tossed it to the shaved kid, "this hair-growing cream works great. I've been using it on the sides and back of my head for years."

"Any instructions for this stuff?" Jasper questioned as he looked at the tube dubiously. It didn't have any legible writing on it and Schwoz was already off out somewhere, so it didn't give him the best feeling, even if Schwoz's hair (or what was left of it) was thick and luscious. 

"Oh, yeah. Lots of 'em! But I don't have time to tell you right now because I'm late for my dinner with Bigfoot," Schwoz replied and lifted the basket over his head so he could disappear up the tube and not have to worry about Jasper and his lack of hair problem. But he couldn't leave, not after dropping a bomb like that--something about Bigfoot?

"Whaaaaat?"

"Hang on..."

"Wait, stop, stop, stop!" the remaining five rambled, focusing on the genius who rolled his eyes at their confused expressions and raised the tube again. He was getting very late and didn't have time for any questions, even if they now had a million of them. 

"What?"

"Bigfoot?!" Ray repeated as he held out a hand for (y/n) to steady herself coming off the ladder. Back on solid ground, she held onto his doofus' hand as they huddled together to grill Schwoz on how he could be friends with a mythical, rampaging thing in the woods and not tell them. They must've heard him wrong, there was no way that it was the Bigfoot. 

"Like, Bigfoot Bigfoot?"

"Yah." Or not. Schwoz wasn't laughing or holding in giggles, he was being deadly serious about meeting up with the hulking creature, something that they just couldn't believe since it was so outlandish. 

"The Bigfoot?" Jasper questioned, leaving his smooth nape alone for a minute since this had piqued his interest. Bigfoot...and people thought he was strange. 

"Like, the made-up creature who lives in the woods?" (y/n) asked, wanting to clarify that they were definitely talking about the thing that supposedly scared campers and hikers. She often prided herself on being quite open-minded, she was an engineer after all, but like the others, she was thinking one thing; Schwoz had either been sniffing glue or watching too much of the conspiracy channel again. 

"He's not made up, he dated my sister," the small replied, which both shocked them and made a lot of sense at the same time. They could get over that Bigfoot existed, but Winnie getting a date? Jeez, the poor guy probably had to give her bags of carrots instead of bunches of flowers.

"Your sister dated Bigfoot?!"

"Yeah, it didn't work out between them, he wanted kids, she didn't but I always thought he was a chill hang," Schwoz shrugged, remembering all of the drama that always ensued when a couple broke up and the drama that ensued afterwards when he and Biggie remained friends. He was glad that his favourite couple would never go through that, it's why he liked living with them despite the ickiness and incidents--no chance of it ending, not ever. 

"Can we go with you?" Henry requested eagerly. It's not that he was nosy, rather, he wanted to see if Schwoz was lying or not. Anyone would jump at a chance of seeing Bigfoot in the flesh and the others had the same mindset.

"Oh, yeah!"

"Yes, yes, please?!"

"Come on!" they clapped their hands excitedly and looked at him expectantly, which put Schwoz in an awkward position. It's not like he had anything to hide but he thought it would be awkward having all of his friends clashing, after all, there were gonna be a lot of personalities clashing. 

"I don't like to mix my work friends with my wood friends--" he tried to let them down gently, ignoring their pleading eyes and hopeful grins because he felt guilty enough. It was impossible though, he truly was outnumbered.

"Oh, come on, Schwoz! Just let us come!"

"Yeah, we can all be friends together!" Charlotte and (y/n) begged together, using their best, fluttering eyelashes and doe-like eyes to win him over--and it worked. They ground Schwoz down all too easily because he wouldn't want to make them cry, now would he? That would just be cruel. 

"Fine, let's go to dinner with Bigfoot--" the handyman conceded with a sigh to the roaring cheers of his friends, who applauded, cheered and fist-pumped their success in an almost hedonistic way that undermined Schwoz's kindness. He wanted them on their best behaviour, not screaming or shouting or being weird, Bigfoot was a very sophisticated guy. "--but don't embarrass me!"

They calmed down at that and although still buzzing with excitement, the group moved to enter the elevator, Ray happily tugging (y/n) along with a spring in his step. He refused to let go of her hand because it was the only thing keeping him cool at that moment, what with the adrenaline still streaming through his blood and the prospect of meeting a literal legend wasn't helping, neither was the sudden, unexpected alarm.

"Emergency alert!" Charlotte exclaimed as everyone looked back at the computer and saw the familiar red flash of the beacon. Right, they were technically supposed to be working right now and an impromptu trip to the woods, something that would take a couple of hours just to get there, wasn't gonna stop them from continuously coming in. 

Captain Man couldn't take time off and neither could his sidekicks and Ray was aware of that, highly so; it was just a shame that he didn't care. Shielding his eyes from the others in a not-so-noticeable way, he pulled his laser controller from his pocket and fired a single shot at the beacon, burning a hole straight through the plastic, thus ending the call, at least so that they didn't have to hear or worry about it.

"Raymond!" (y/n) whined and gave him a stern look for what he'd just done. She didn't feel right leaving whichever poor soul to suffer simply because they were curious and leaving something a mess made her stressed all the more. It made her itch in a way, knowing that it would be lying and waiting to be fixed until they came back so she was ready to scold him and Ray was braced for that. Until--

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" Henry began chanting, his booming volume swallowing whatever noise came from (y/n)'s mouth. He'd known the couple long enough to sense when they were about to argue, whether it be petty or explosive, and he did his best to stop it, which worked rather well well when Jasper and Charlotte joined as Ray fleetingly kissed his sweet girl quiet and chanted too. 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" Strange. They thought he would've kissed her for longer. What was with those too?

~Two hours later, in the woods~

A van journey later and the group were still chanting as they approached a clearing in the woods, one where Schwoz had said was his and Bigfoot's supposed meeting place. 

Despite the long, bumpy journey, one that was still palpably tense thanks to Ray, (y/n) and whatever was going on between them, the anticipation for meeting the mythical creature was still high and the teens had been poking Schwoz since the second stop light for more information. What did he eat? Normal food. Where was he from? Swellview, duh. What was his favourite colour? What kind of question was that?

It went on and on but thankfully, it meant not much attention was paid to the front of the van, where the couple had been strangely silent, uneasy and not at all handsy--the most worrying thing. Ray didn't put his hand on (y/n)'s thigh like she was hoping, the thing he always did when he drove since the pillowy flesh was just asking for his fingertips to feel it, but that night, he was worried that the call was asking for something else and he didn't want to listen to it. Not yet, anyway. 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" The teens chanted relentlessly as they followed Schwoz through the thick foliage, walking for a few minutes to disappear into the night that had fallen during their drive over. Bigfoot was a secretive guy and preferred to not be seen by others, which was understandable, so they carried on in single-file, Schwoz first, the kids in the middle and Ray and (y/n) walking hand-in-hand to bring up the rear.

They were trailing slightly, keeping up but going at their own pace as Ray's stride was much longer than (y/n)'s and he wanted her comfort more than anything, so it was her setting the speed. It was fine, Schwoz had everything under control at the front and they were nearly there, or so he said, so the only problem Ray was experiencing was the one in front of him. The perfect view of his sweet girl's ass as she walked--all he could do was stay back and try not to stare, which was easier said than done.

"Sweet girl?" He grumbled, surprising himself with how animalistic he sounded, akin to something they might find in those very woods, so it was no wonder that (y/n) whipped around immediately, slowing down to a mere ambling pace as she faced her dark-eyed doofus to see what was wrong. 

"Yeah?" she asked, her saccharine voice full of innocence that made Ray's abs tense. He didn't know what he was gonna say at first, he just wanted to call her name but seeing her looking at him like a lamb in front of a wolf made his next actions undeniable. He let go of her hand to grasp her wrist instead and it was damn lucky that the gasp she released when he roughly pressed her against the nearest tree wasn't heard by the others.

Henry, Charlotte and Jasper carried on merrily, not noticing that there were two missing members in their party as Ray pinned his precious girl against the scraping bark and kept her hands clasped together and above her head. 

In the moonlight, she looked so ravishing as his eyes raked down her quivering body and he could see the questioning look in her eye, a part of her wondering why he was picking his moment now. However, he could also see how she wasn't all that innocent either, pupils dilating the minute one hand went from her waist to brush between her thighs, touching nothing but the soft skin there. 

There she was, his girl, his darling lover, his future wife, waiting for his next move, panting lightly in the darkness as they were left behind and he knew that he'd been a fool to leave her for a few popsicles and to play Mario Kart, he'd been a fool for thinking he could last a whole day without her. 

"Doofus, what--"

"The second we are alone again, little girl..." he whispered in her ear, one hand cradling her jaw as the other stayed with hers against the tree. It was his promise to her and it could be left unspoken, she didn't need an explanation. They were pushing their luck as it was, staying behind as the others marched on and as tempting as it was to throw caution to the wind and feel those thighs around his waist because lord knows that he did not give a fuck, she did. 

Jasper's earlier faux pas was but a forewarning in her mind and it would not happen again, not two nights in a row, so as quick as her back had met with the harsh bark, he pulled away, taking one hand with him. 

The dazzling rush of it all had her stumbling to catch up with his long legs as he marched towards the clearing, following the voices before they were missed or he changed his mind and she had no choice but to jog behind her doofus. Her hot, moody, incredibly well-endowed doofus. 

Avoiding a tree root and a mysterious puddle of green mush, the couple made it to the back of the group again, not that anyone had noticed their slight delay. The only noticeable thing was how their breathing had quickened from the rush, although in (y/n)'s case it was something else. Paired with her red cheeks, it was kinda obvious, but the shadows hid it well and so did hiding behind Ray's shoulder. 

"Hey! That hair-growing cream worked great."

"Yeah, it looks gooooood, dude," Henry complimented Jasper when Charlotte noticed that unlike two hours previously, Jasper's hair was completely back to normal. You'd never guess that he'd had the majority of it lasered off and he was quite happy with the results of Schwoz's cream, save for one little thing. 

"Oh, nice...this worries me a little," he smiled but it was nervous and they knew why when he raised his hands to show them that not only did the cream work on scalps, it also worked on fingers and palms. Baby hairs had begun to sprout from his flesh and he was getting quite furry, which was disturbing. Really disturbing. 

"You have to wear a glove when you apply it. That's part of the instructions!" Schwoz exclaimed as the others grimaced, (y/n) burying her nose into the jacket she'd stolen from Ray.

Being the silly-billy she was, she'd only realised how cold it was out until they were well past the city's border and in the sticks, so her ever-adoring fiancé had swooped in and bundled her up in one of his huge jackets that had been slung on the backseat of the Man Van. It was huge, enough to keep her warm even in a dress and it was only made better by his cologne following her around. 

"You didn't tell me any instructions," Jasper argued as he coped with his hairy hands. He'd just assumed that the cream worked on heads, not skin in general, which was kinda bad since he'd been touching his head, face, ears and other places since using it. 

"Okay, step one--don't itch your ears!" Schwoz said when he saw the boy rubbing and searching his earholes. That would only mean more cream transfer, even if it was a little late to be giving out advice. 

"Soooo...Schwoz, where's Bigfoot?" Henry asked as Jasper stomped off to try and deal with his new hair problem. This was the meeting place but no one could see any imaginary animals or beings, meaning the kid was starting to doubt if this guy was real or not and whether Schwoz had pulled the best prank of all time. 

"Yeah, man. We've been walking around for four whole minutes. I'm starting to think you don't really know Bigfoot," Ray added, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his sweet girl huddled to his side to try and keep the cold away. He wasn't the world's most patient man but four minutes traipsing around some bushes at night wasn't his idea of fun and he was waiting on a promise for what was. 

"Relax, let me just call him--" Schwoz told him gently and the man went back to trying to keep (y/n) warm. He knew that dress was both angelic and evil, but at least he could put his arm around her, which was good for when Schwoz ignored his phoned and abruptly summoned his friend. "BIGFOOOOOOOOT!!!"

"He's on his way," he told them, not thinking a thing of his sudden, echoing voice in the dead of night nor how he just spooked the heebie-jeebies out of them. Biggie wasn't much of a phone guy anyway. 

"If you were just gonna scream his name, then why'd you pull out your phone?" (y/n) asked as she snuggled into the cosy fuzziness of Ray's jacket. She'd seen the genius take his phone from his pocket when she was ogling her lover, which is why his bellowing had been so unexpected. 

"So I could get a picture of you guys when Bigfoot shows up," Schwoz replied in a tender voice but he had that mischievous glint in his eye like he had something up his sleeve. His phone was pointing at them and open on the camera app, so he was ready to capture their shocked, terrified expressions whenever he needed a good laugh, not that they knew that. 

"You mean if he shows up," Henry scoffed sceptically, shoulder-to-shoulder with his friends as they waited, "we've been here for five whole minutes now. I'm starting to think you don't actually know hi--"

Henry never got to finish his mini-rant. As he rambled on at the smirking genius, a big, hairy lump dropped from the overhanging willows to land in front of them, bellowing a ferocious roar. The sight of this snarling furball caused the teens and couple to shriek in terror, a moment that Schwoz swiftly captured on his phone as (y/n) practically leapt on Ray, who had his jacket clutched by Henry, flanked by Jasper cowering behind Charlotte.

But the howl eventually petered out and the beast put its arms down in a friendly slouch, meaning the group eventually stopped screaming too. Bigfoot just stood there and he wasn't quite what they were expecting as hands let go of jackets and men put down their sweet girls; he was tall and hairy with thick, sharp nails, that was a given, but apart from that, he was normal.

Well, nearly normal--he was placid with an easy-going stance, nothing like the monster some people often described him as. 

"You guys, Bigfoot is real!" Henry exclaimed as they all stood there, in awe of the living legend in front of them, who wasn't a mutant or animal like on the TV, he was just a normal guy with a lot of hair. 

"Real handsome!" Bigfoot quipped, putting them all at ease with his small joke. If he was comfortable with himself then they had no reason to fear him, especially when he laughed in that resonating baritone of his. "It's nice to meet you..."

"So...uh, this is Hen--" Schwoz started to introduce everyone, not wanting things to be awkward since he didn't have many friends and he didn't want to lose any, but Bigfoot beat him to the chase. 

"Oh, I know this guy. Henry Hart AKA Kid Danger? Feels gooooood!" The hairy man chuckled, much to Henry's excitement. 

"Bigfoot knows my thing!" The ecstatic kid hissed to the others. He thought it was wild that Bigfoot of all people knew who he was and had intimate knowledge of his personality, even his secret identity. He didn't seem to be the kinda guy to leak stuff like that, after all, Schwoz was smart enough to not be all pally with grasses, so no one worried. 

"'Course I do. Scheoz talks about you guys all the time," he revealed, making the small man blush since no one knew about his pride from working the Man Cave. 

"What?" Jasper tilted his head, stunned that Schwoz could be so sneaky and that Bigfoot knew about their crazy gang. 

"Yeah. You must be Charlotte," Bigfoot nodded, turning to the girl whose cheeks heated up when he started being all charming, "Schwoz tells me you're even smarter than he is."

"Whaaaaaat?... It's true, though," she grinned, blushing from the sentiment of Schwoz hyping her up to his other friends but it was the truth. The Man Cave would be lost without her skill with the computer and general sensibility, so it was nice to know that it was noted and appreciated.

"Oh--Jasper!"

"Yeah!" The boy nodded with a smile as Bigfoot moved on, looking at him next and punching out at him lightly in playful banter. Honestly, this guy was so cool and Jasper liked that he had also been included when he did the least out of the three teens.

"J-Dowg!"

"B-Foot!" They bantered and bumped fists as Schwoz kept snapping pictures, wanting to remember every moment of his friends becoming friends. Maybe they'd be able to hang out together as a gang and he'd be surrounded by everyone he loved--maybe a tad premature but a nice thought as they all got along so well.

"How's that girl with all the allergies?" Bigfoot asked, referring to Patina, the one Jasper took to Cactus Con and accidentally plunged into an anaphylactic fit. 

Ouch, a touchy subject in more ways than one so no one ever mentioned what had happened with her, not that Jasper ever let it bother him. 

"Oh yeah, she ghosted me! I keep texting her but she never responds!" He shrugged, tugging at (y/n)'s heartstrings as he smiled with the others but she remembered those weeks all too well. Jasper sat on the couch, texting and texting, waiting for an answer that never came until he had no choice but to move on with a sad acknowledgement for a romance that had gone so far only to be left to die. She never liked that girl. 

Speaking of moving on...

"Oh, and well, I know who this beauty is! (y/n), the sweetest girl in the world as Schwoz put it! Lovely to meet you, I know all about your engineering and how you keep the place running--oh, and of course, Miss Danger! How could I forget?" (y/n) was practically a tomato as Bigfoot moved on and grinned at her next. 

He extended his hand and she thought he was going for a handshake when he warmly pulled her in for a hug, a very soft hug as his woolly body helped her forget about the cold as he gushed about her many talents and the way the Man Cave would crash and burn without her expertise. Pulling away, her face was beaming as they crowded around Schwoz with the other three to look at the pictures and that only left Ray on the outside. 

The man loudly cleared his throat as they cooed over the funny and heartwarming photos, looking up to see him still standing there. Right, the main man as it were, the boss, the head honcho, they couldn't forget him, after all, he'd never let them. 

"And, uh, last but certainly not least..." Ray grinned, awkwardly turning to Bigfoot who removed his arm from his darling girl's shoulders and looked at him--with a blank stare like what you'd give if you were giving a stranger. Oh, lord.

"Hey..." Biggie greeted slowly, which didn't fill the hero with confidence but still, he smiled back, encouraged by (y/n), who was edged closer to them as much as she could without passing the furball, "there he is..."

"There I am!"

"This guy!" They interacted with a definite tension that made the teens frown because it was so weird that Bigfoot had been so welcoming and friendly with them, knowing specific details about their lives and personalities, only for him to have no idea who Ray was. 

"You must be, uh... Henry's dad?" The hairy man suggested, trying to find a possible identity for the mystery man that his friend had never described, but it only served to insult Ray. That was nowhere near accurate and kinda insulting since he thought he looked too young to be any teenager's dad. Come on, he wasn't even married yet. 

"Henry's dad? Are you--are you kidding me?"

"Are you...uh, Jasper's dad?" he moved on, a hint of desperation as (y/n) facepalmed in the background, itching to get to her doofus' side before his emotions started leaking but she knew how it would look if she was constantly clinging to his side. So, no matter how badly this was going, she stood still and hoped that Ray didn't do anything stupid after being called the weird kid's father. 

"Uh, I'm-I'm Ray AKA Captain Man AKA (y/n)'s fiancée!" the hero said, hoping that a few of his basic titles would spark some recognition in the legend's mind. 

Bigfoot looked genuinely surprised to hear about another superhero living with Schwoz since he didn't have a TV and never ventured into the city; he had to learn stuff by ear and when he looked back at the mention of the sweet girl, he saw her raise her left hand and point to the ring that sparkled in the starlight. Well, that confirmed it, weird how he never knew. 

"Oh, Schwoz never mentioned you! Are you new to the Schwoz Cave?" He asked politely, seeing nothing wrong with his question, so he didn't understand why the man's face erupted into anger as the woman and kids released shocked giggles behind him. Oh, that little fibre, what had he been saying?

"The Schwoz Cave?!" Ray snapped and his furious gaze landed on Schwoz, who smirked bashfully and adverted everyone's gaze. He was ashamed but also unapologetic because he loved the idea of being a superhero and messing with Ray's head, even if it was a tangled web of lies that he was now stuck in. 

"Listen, listen--" Bigfoot put a furry hand on Ray's chest to keep him from tackling Schwoz and instead, diverted their attention before things got out of hand, "I found this great campsite just past the creek. Let's all go down there and have dinner to get to know each other better.

"Yeah."

"All right, let's go," the teens nodded enthusiastically at the sound of food and a pretty area to sit, so they quickly followed after their host, who knew the way like the back of his paw--hand. Schwoz was right behind them, giggling mischievously to himself as he passed Ray, who stood like a statue with a stony expression engraved on his face. He was visibly livid from being unmentioned and the shoulder pats that the kids gave him only soured the mood. 

"That's a tough one, daddy," Henry commented jokingly as he walked past, not knowing that it was possibly the worst thing he could've said to the man, who'd been waiting all day and all night for that kind of talk. He was damn near breaking point and (y/n) knew that as she was the last to move. 

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's go eat," she whispered, stepping in front of him and smiling in the face of his grim expression. She gently reached for his hand, which unclenched when her fingers slid over his to let her in and without hesitation, Ray allowed her to grasp it. Sighing when she stroked his cheek, he allowed her to tug him towards the campsite, his heart unwilling to watch her walk away despite how sluggish his plodding feet were. 

They might have liked Bigfoot but he wasn't so keen and neither was he impressed with that good-for-nothing, low-down, double-crossing sneak, Schwoz. He'd be having words with him but for now, he was willing to indulge in one thing - his sweet girl. If the hairball didn't know who he was now, he surely would by the end of the night if it was the last thing he did. 

Her fiancé, her lover, her doofus. Always. 

Up ahead, they could hear a slight commotion since they were going quite slowly, anything so Ray could sulk in peace a little longer and cheer himself up with a little butt-staring. No doubt the amazing Bigfoot was doing something amazing with his amazing dinner because he was amazing. 

"Let's eat!"

Yeah, right, he could've done that but to avoid a scene, Ray stayed silent and kicked at the dirt as they came to another, smaller clearing, complete with rocks and stumps for rudimentary stools, a pre-lit campfire and some coolers left by the campers he scared away, one of whom Henry could swear looked like Mitch Bilsky but as he looked at the cosy spot, he couldn't find it in himself to care. 

Soon, they were huddled around the fire, Charlotte sat with Bigfoot on a fallen tree trunk, Henry with Schwoz, Jasper on his own, and then, Ray on a rock with (y/n) perched happily on his knee. Their new friend had raised his eyebrows at that, thinking they were very open about being so touchy and...kissy but the others assured him that it was normal and separating them would only lead to trouble now that the man was calmly nuzzling into her neck and hair. 

So, soon, the snacks were handed out and the stories started. Bigfoot lead them since he was the fascinating one and even Ray was able to tame his jealousy and listen as he nibbled a hotdog, offering it to his lover occasionally, another thing that they assured the legend was normal for them. 

"Sometimes, I just want to sneak into town to get that good salsa but people would see me and they'd either want a selfie or they'd try and kill me," Bigfoot sighed as everyone listened intently to how hard it was being so famous yet hated. Sure, he was legendary but most would kill to be the ones to capture Bigfoot or put the real-life Bigfoot in a zoo, and that was just horrible considering that he was such a sweet man. 

"And I hear that!" Ray piped up as (y/n) bit into their hotdog and he tightened the arm around her waist. He wasn't hated but he knew the price of popularity and it was nice to see him finally making friends, even if it was slightly self-centred, "I can't go anywhere without getting mobbed."

"Appreciate your sympathy, Ron," the behemoth gave him a polite smile and he was gracious enough to not mention the way they were snuggling like they were the only ones in the forest. All Bigfoot concentrated on was his story and the way Charlotte was braiding his fur, which was a shame because his blatant forgetting of Ray's name touched a sore spot for the egocentric man.

"Ray. It's...it's Ray," he corrected with a smile that was akin to a snarl If it wasn't for his sweet girl playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, he would've pounced and taken the hairy buffoon on himself. Was he that forgettable or had Scwhoz properly swindled him for once?

"Oh, I'm so sorry--Captain Ray!" Bigfoot was trying his best; this guy was quite techy about his image and he didn't fancy fighting with Schwoz's other friends, not when they could so easily blow his clandestine existence. However, even his best wasn't enough and Ray gritted his teeth at yet another mistake.

"No, it's Captain Man. My name is Ray," the hero laughed awkwardly and mockingly, earning himself a few hard stares as he took everything too personally, "and I just think it's hilarious that this guy has no idea who I am!" 

Everything got out of hand quite quickly and (y/n) whined indignantly when her doofus stood up abruptly, tipping her off his lap so she had to scramble to stay on her feet as he started throwing a rather embarrassing tantrum. Honestly, it was like caring for a six-year-old.

"Doofus! Ray--Raymond! Oh god, I am so sorry about him..." she had to say, giving Biggie an apologetic look and nervous smile as her lover began kicking at the dirt, complaining about anything and everything. She was used to his emotional outbursts but that didn't make them any less humiliating when their new friend looked so perplexed and almost sympathetic to her situation. God, the shame--he was thirty-seven for god's sake.

"And there's no dijon mustard for this hotdog!'

"Hey! Just chill, okay? Just relax!--" Schwoz and the teens were staring at the earth as (y/n) flattened her palm against Ray's chest and began pushing him away after he threw the half-eaten Weiner and bun to the ground. Sure, it had been a little bland and boring but it was nice for a minimalistic picnic and they'd share anything honestly, mustard or no mustard.

"Said it was a great campsite, doesn't seem so great to me! His words, not mine!" Ray growled above her incessant pleas to calm down and she started using her body to push him back quicker when he pointed straight at Bigfoot--a highly rude gesture. Such a child...

"Calm down! Just calm the hell down!"

"Ray? Ray?!" Charlotte shouted as she came over to see if she could get through to him too since the awkwardness was killing her. She joined (y/n) in begging for him to button it and folded her arms as he spat her calming words back in her face; seriously, if (y/n) was struggling to calm him down, her, his beloved fiancée, what hope did she have?

"I'm the problem, sweet girl? I'm embarrassing?! I'm embarrassing?!"

"Yes, yes, you are! You're embarrassing when you act like a child, Raymond, getting angry when things don't go your way and it's deeply humiliating!" the woman scolded, staring him down--or as down as she could get since she was so much shorter than him--as a teacher would to a rebellious student. He seemed to sober up at that, recoiling when she gave him the reality check that he was upsetting her, the kids, and everyone and that wasn't fair.

"I'm embarrassing?" he asked again and she cleared her throat when his eyes softened from the hardened glare they'd held seconds before. He never wanted to humiliate her, god knows that he only ever wanted to be proud of having him by her side and it was only because of stupid Bigfoot that he'd lost his cool. Or...maybe it was him, maybe he needed to think things through.

"Yes, Ray, so you know what? You need to calm down, so we're going to go into the forest and we're gonna take a lap," (y/n) told him firmly and took up his hand so she could march him out of the clearing before there was a punch up. Did other girls have to do this with their fiancés?

"I don't wanna take a lap!" he replied petulantly and tried to pull his hand away from his sweet girl in defiance. In his normal state of mind, he'd never do that but children often cut their noses off to spite their faces when being told off--he was no different when he was like this.

"You need to take a lap, Ray," Henry piped up this time, having stood up to come and join Charlotte in assisting the woman, even if their opinions meant very little. Still, he figured that if his boss heard it from enough people, he'd eventually stomp off with (y/n) in tow and she'd ensure that he was fully calm before coming back to their rustic yet sophisticated hangout.

"I don't need a lap! It's not my lap time!" Ray snapped at the kid, thinking he was getting them all to back off when really, he was making it worse. Did he not realise how childish he sounded? All the man wanted to do was enjoy a quiet evening with his girl and feel her squirm against him when he breathed hot air down her neck, but no. That walking carpet was ruining everything.

"If you want to act like a child, then I will treat you like one, Raymond. Come with me!" (y/n) tried to shove him again but his bulk wouldn't budge, not until someone else joined the cacophony.

"Uh, I wouldn't take a lap. It's pretty dangerous out there!" The same walking carpet said, again trying to be helpful but again failing miserably. Whilst he knew the woods like the back of his hairy hand, they didn't and he'd hated to see them step in something dangerous but to Ray, that sounded like a challenge. If Bigfoot could do it, he could do it better.

"Oh, okay! We're taking a lap!" the hero scoffed, suddenly changing his tune, much to the group's frustration. Without another word, Ray seized (y/n)'s hand and dragged her off in the direction that they'd come, grumbling as he went. She was tripping over her feet at his insane pace and all she could manage was a quick wave to the others before they'd rounded the corner and disappeared into the shrubbery.

*WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO. SMUT IMPENDING AGAIN. I PROMISE IT FINISHES AFTER THIS THOUGH. LET'S GOOOOOOO!*

"Ray! Ray! Slow down! I said a lap, not a sprint!" she gasped as he retraced their faint steps that had been trodden into the dirt, looking for one spot in particular since it would be far enough from the camp but not too dangerous for them to be caught unawares. He tried to ease up when she stumbled on a jagged rock emerging from the soil but he didn't stop, merely squeezed her hand even more to keep her following.

"Raymond! Will you just--what is with you tonight?" the heroine asked again, slightly breathless from how much ground they'd covered in such a short space of time. Trees had passed and bushes and a sign saying hunters would be prosecuted--and a sign after that said prosecutors would be hunted if they didn't keep their noses out. It felt like they'd trekked the entirety of the woods when he finally stopped, abruptly and without warning, and with no inclination that he was going to answer her question.

Like lightning, Ray pushed her against the tree for the second time that night and their surroundings once again became familiar to (y/n) as she felt the same scraping against the soft skin of her back. He'd taken her up the path to the old clearing, the one where the moon lit the path to keep the monsters away--and hopefully any snoopers too. 

She'd been hunted again, only this time, Ray intended to go through with the kill.

"I'll tell you what's with me, sweet thing," he growled and instantly had his face buried into her neck so he could nip a line down her jugular, tearing gasps and weak moans from the back of her throat, "I've done nothing but think about your pussy since last night and I need it, darlin'. Need you so bad."

Truth be told, a smile tugged at her lips when his typical, domineering snarl turned into a whining beg. He was pawing at whatever he could get his hands on; her soft neck, tits through her dress, hands brushing back the jacket to hold her waist before slipping down to knead at her ass. Most would say that he was pathetic, desperately trying to tempt her into joining him in the open, in a public place, where anyone could stumble across something.

"Whose fault is that then?" (y/n) teased, jaw dropping open when his teeth bit down on her collarbone, causing her to yank hard on his hair when her hands snaked to run her fingers through it. His lips were so distracting but through the lips of them and his wandering touch lighting fire on her skin, she could feel him against her hip, hard and throbbing, begging to be released after losing out so critically before. 

Now, it was her chance to wind him up tight like a spring and watch him squirm because that's what she'd had to do the night he left her for popsicles and buffoonery. He could've had her, could've pushed right in, god knows she'd let him, she was soaking through her panties just at the memory and yet, he'd left himself to suffer. 

Pushing the skirt of her dress up, Ray immediately grasped at her thighs and tried to widen them, hoping to get a glimpse of the delight that was waiting for him, even if he knew he didn't deserve it, not when he'd played such a cruel game. The desperation was clawing at his insides, cock begging him to fuck her soon before he exploded and so, as much as his instincts told him to have his sweet girl spread out like a feast for him and chastise her for teasing her Captain, he swallowed his pride.

"Please--please--please," he whispered over and over against her neck as he rutted his hips into her. With any luck, she'd feel what she was doing to him, how crazy the thought of her had made him over the last god knows how many hours, how he couldn't wait to fuck her tight cunt any longer. 

The drive over had been hell; anytime he looked over, she was there looking like an angel and he could swear that she'd been widening her legs just to tease him when he rested his hand on her thigh. Little minx... But what could he do? He did his best to find her sweet spots, licking and sucking at the spot below her ear and trailing his fingers closer to her core until she was trembling between him and the tree, that's when she spoke.

"What do you want, doofus?" she murmured, tilting her head back so he'd have more access. Moving down from her ear, he headed for the top of her tits, nipping as he went before he grabbed at them roughly. God, he wished they were back home or that he'd done this sooner, then he could take one into his mouth, he knew how perfect those nipples were for biting and sucking, but out here, he wasn't willing to expose more than he had to.

What did he want? A few things. He wanted her naked, on their bed in the warmth so he could get on his knees and pray for forgiveness before worshipping her like he should've done before. He wanted to hear her every sound above the rustle of the leaves. He wanted to peel her panties down her legs and fuck her hard and strong so he didn't rip someone's head off. He wanted her, he wanted her so much.

"You, sweet girl. I want you so bad--since last night," he panted, grinning against her skin when he found her clit through the soaked material under her dress and rubbed his thumb against it in tight circles. She lurched forward with a cry, bucking her hips towards him as best she could with only the tree for leverage and it reminded her that he wasn't the only one who'd been simmering since last night.

The drive over had been hell; anytime she looked over, he was there, looking like a god as one hand guided the wheel and the other stayed with her like always. She could swear that he'd crept his hand closer to her core with every passing streetlight, just to drive her insane.

"Then fuck me, you idiot," she smirked and palmed at him through his jeans, feeling how huge he was even through the denim and no sooner than the words left her mouth, they pulled apart to weakly shove any clothing out of the way. 

Her thumbs hooked the elastic of her underwear and she pulled them down her legs as their eyes stayed locked, his darkening when she slipped them past her ankles and awkwardly over her shoes. It was never like this in the movies, they made it seem so smooth but she got there eventually and pressed them into his hand, earning herself a groan when he felt the damp cotton. 

Tucking them into his back pocket, Ray lifted his sweater slightly, revealing a peek of his Adonis belt as she knelt to pop the button on his jeans and slowly bring down the zipper. He watched with hooded eyes as she gingerly reached into his briefs and pulled him free, licking her lips at the prize that lay in front of her. 

She leaned forward, ignoring how the bitter air was making her core clench when it met her bare pussy and how stones were digging into her knees as she braced against the ground but it was worth it. Dipping her tongue out, she kitten-licked at his tip before allowing the flared head to break her lips open, taking him in one, two, three times with slow bobs of her head that had him throwing his back to howl at the sky. 

It was indulgent, he knew that; her pace was tortuous and he longed to hold her face still and fuck her pretty throat but relented when she looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes that were spoiled only by his cock inflating her cheeks.

"You always look so hot with my cock in your mouth, sweet girl," he groaned and placed a hand on the back of her head to guide her movements. (y/n) moaned at the salty taste of him, loving how pliant he was in her hands, so much power and strength being controlled by her movements--it was intoxicating but not what she sorely wanted.

With one final swipe of her tongue around his length, she pulled back, leaving them connected with nothing more than a string of saliva as she gazed up at him with cherry-red, sickened lips and doe-like eyes before asking, "will you fuck me now, sir?"

"Fuck, baby--" Ray groaned at her naive tone, admiring how small her hand looked when giving his cock a few tugs. Leaving her hair, his hand slipped under her arm and he pulled her to her feet, growling when she giggled at his eagerness. Her amusement didn't last long; pushing her against the tree once more, Ray gripped the backs of her thighs and snarled "jump" against her throat, picking her up effortlessly when she lamely tried to follow his orders.

He secured her legs around her waist and used the tree as leverage, thankful that in their horniness, he'd picked one that had grown at a slight angle so things were easier. His raw strength made her tremble as she clung to his shoulders, where his muscles felt softer through the fuzzy fabric of her sweater but she knew the power that was hidden beneath and could feel it from how he lifted her so easily. 

Rutting his hips forward, they moaned in tandem as his cock slotted against her slit and steadily rocked through her slick, brushing against her clit with every move. Her mouth was pressed against his ear so he could hear every noise she made and his grip turned to steel when he caught on her entrance, prodding so he could feel her clench but not going any further.

"Can I fuck you, sweet girl? Can I fuck you here where anyone can see what's mine?" Ray asked into her hair, sliding his head through her lips to rile his lover up even more. His abs tensed at the thought of someone stumbling across them, a lone hiker or maybe even Bigfoot himself as he came to investigate their disappearance. 

He'd never let them see anything, her pleasure-screwed face and soaked pussy were for his eyes only but a small, sadistic part of him hoped that their new "friend" caught a glimpse of him with his pants shoved down and his sweet girl wrapped in his embrace as he pumped into her. 

That would stick in his head--maybe he'd remember who he was then. The man who was entirely devoted to the sweetest girl on Earth. The man who knew that sweetness better that anyone else.

"Shit--yes, please. Fuck me, I don't care if someone sees--" (y/n) pleaded, going half-insane from the contrast of the jagged bark on her back and the soft swipes of his cock. Ray didn't need telling twice and as her cries painted a smirk on his face, he pushed forward, staring between her legs as he began to disappear inch by inch. The woman threw her head back, not caring when it thunked against the tree, all that mattered was her fucking hot fiancé and his cock that stretched her walls for miles and miles. 

He had the perfect view; her dress was bunched up around her waist and with the moon and stars to guide him, he could see how drenched she was in the dim light and how her pussy sucked him, welcoming him home. She was certain that some of her wetness had been there since the previous night, had not ceased gathering even when he left her alone with a glass of wine to nurse and nothing more and it only made it easier for him to bury himself to the hilt.

For a moment, he gave her a chance to adjust to his sheer size or maybe it was his way of masking how he was the one who needed a minute. Her walls were so damn tight around him and velvety soft, making searing white heat crawl up his spine until he got a grip on himself and started to rock into her.

"So dirty but you like it, don't you? You like having your little pussy filled in the middle of the woods," Ray said cockily, punching out each word in synch with a thrust of his hips, drawing moan after whimper from her mouth--and he sure as hell felt the way she tightened at the reminder of their surroundings. "Oh, you do, don't you? Like knowing that anyone could see you like this for me--see how you scream my name when I--"

"Fuck, Ray!" she cried when he snapped his hips into her at a different angle and hit a spot that made her see stars. Smirking when he saw the way it made jelly of her muscles, he began pummeling that spot, hearing nothing but the blood rushing through his ears and the slapslapslap of his balls against her thighs. Her squeaks and begging were music to his ears and he got lost in his sweet girl, nothing else existed apart from her, him and her tight heat as it ruined his cock.

"N-not gonna last long, darlin, not after last night--" he stuttered, feeling how tight his balls were and how they were begging to pump her full of cum before he exploded. He'd denied himself earlier and it had left him half-crazed, his body drying out for its soulmate so they could be one at last and he was finally succumbing to the call, succumbing to the sweet pull of her pussy and how it was waiting for him.

(y/n) whined something incoherent, too lost in the pleasure rippling through her body from the epicentre in her core. Steadily, she lowered one hand from his shoulders and dropped it to her clit to begin rubbing it in rough circles, her fingers slipping across soaked flesh. It was the push she needed to hurtle her towards the edge and she felt the familiar burn beginning to set in, one that began to blaze when Ray's lips brushed against hers and he captured her gaze.

"That's it, pretty girl. Rub this pussy for me, get it all nice and ready for my cum. Can you do that for me?" he asked in a teasing, condescending tone that had her nodding obediently. His thrusts increased as she doubled down on her clit, giving it light slaps like she knew he would if they were in a more comfortable setting. 

Ray's eyes followed her movements and a gasp got stuck in his throat when he saw how the diamonds in the ring he gave her sparkled with every circle. Fuck, if that didn't make him go faster then nothing would and it wasn't long before he felt the fire return to lick up his spine. Her cunt, her moans, her tight grip on his hair, the sight of his fiancée fucking himself whilst he fucked her was enough to drag him to the edge and her with him when his thrusts faltered.

"Come with me, doofus. Fill me up before we go back," (y/n) whispered before biting his earlobe to smother her loudest moan of the night when he came with a groan, triggering her own end. Ropes of pearly cum flooded her heat as he pressed her against the tree and her orgasm stretched thin when the scraping pain mixed with the bliss. Ray whined and buried his face into her neck, staying as close to her as possible as he filled her up with his most intimate claim.

The heroine sighed at the serenity and rested her forehead against his shoulder as their breathing slowed down. He stayed inside of her for a while, unwilling to remove himself from her warmth when the air around them was so chill and he was more interested in kissing up her neck and running his thumbs across her ass as held her aloft still. 

But, eventually, the chilliness of the air caught up with them and upon feeling his sweet girl shudder and snuggle into him more, Ray realised that her jacket had slipped down her arms when he was pounding into her. Not to mention the fact that she was still wearing that sorry excuse for a dress with her legs facing the elements. 

So, he planted one final kiss on her pulse point and peeled her from the tree, hearing her whimper slightly as her scratched skin smoothed over and his cock jostled against her walls. He pulled out slowly, groaning when he felt his release begin to leak now that she wasn't plugged up. 

"I've got you, sweetheart," the hero told her gently, setting her back down on shaky legs and ensuring that she didn't tumble to the forest floor. "You okay?"

"More than okay, doof. You feelin' better?" (y/n) asked with a breathy laugh. Her tummy fluttered when she felt his cum begin to ooze out of her and whilst she hated to lose it, knowing that it was there was near perfection.

"Much better but there is one thing that I need to do."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" she asked perplexed, wondering what could be so important as he tucked himself away and tugged up his zipper with a shiver. It all became clear when he smirked her way and felt into his back pocket and brought out her panties, the ones he'd tucked away for safekeeping before having his way with her. 

"Would you mind, sweet girl?" He held them open and with a giggle, (y/n) stepped into them as clumsily as she had taken them off, struggling to get her sneakers through the holes until he shimmied them up her legs. Carefully, Ray pulled them over her ass so none of his precious spend could be lost and he playfully squeezed her cheek before fixing her dress to check that she didn't walk anywhere with her butt showing.

"Does this mean I have to walk around with your cum in my underwear?" she questioned, leaning up to caress his lips with hers in a slow dance.

"Of course," Ray grinned, thoroughly in love with the idea that they had a dirty secret between them that no one would ever know but them. Perhaps he was being childish again but the thought of having one up of Bigfoot, having her as his lover since, in his eyes, any man would kill to be with her, made him gloat and preen. Speaking of the hairball...

"We should probably get back..." (y/n) mentioned and pulled his jacket across her body tighter to try and conserve some warmth. The campfire was sounding pretty nice round about now and even better if her doofus would be there to calmly snuggle with her, besides, the others were probably beginning to wonder how long one lap could take.

"You go on ahead, precious girl. I just wanna take a look at something before I go back, I won't be minute," the hero told her gently and gestured to some bushes in the direction they'd come from. 

"Okay, doofus. Don't stay out here too long. I'd hate for something to happen to you," she smiled and pecked his cheek, giving one final warning for him not to be a hero when he wasn't in uniform. Ray chuckled at that and gave her ass a small smack as she walked away, laughing when she sent him a bright-eyed glare over her shoulder. 

God, he hated watching her walk away but at least he could admire her with a longing gaze. Now, about that shiny thing he'd spotted...where was it?

*AND BREAK SCENE. THE SPICY MEATBALL IS OVER MY GUYS. THANK YOU FOR COMING, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOURSELVES, THIS IS SADLY ALL WE HAVE SPACE FOR SO, MIS INOCENTES, WELCOME BACK*

Even in the darkness, on her own and slightly intimidated by the possible Oogie-boogies lurking in the bushes, (y/n) steadily made it back to the camp. A slight left turn, straight on, past the bush that looked like Shirley Bassey and then a right to the small circle of rocks and stumps that seated her friends. 

Just act normal, tell a small white lie and don't blush--whatever you do, don't blush!

"Hey, guys!" she smiled at them as she skipped back to her and Ray's rock and plonked down on it. In her mind, nothing was out of the ordinary and she'd already thought of her story, the one she'd slightly altered to a more suitable narrative. All they needed to do was buy it.

"Hey!"

"What took you so long?"

"Where's Ray?" The teens asked as Schwoz and Bigfoot mumbled and smiled their greetings. The woman laughed nervously at the influx of questions, some of which were easier to answer than others. At least they looked happy and ignorant, that at least meant their "lap" had been far enough away for any noises to dissipate.

"Oh, you know what Ray's like, such a drama queen. He needed a bit more time to cool off so I left him to wander for a bit while I get the feeling back in my fingers," she explained quickly and thank god, it checked out. Whether it be from her steady tone or her pleasant face, the teens nodded knowingly since that did sound like their boss and (y/n) had looked cold all night in that frock of hers.

"I just hope he's okay out there. It's pretty spooky."

"And dangerous!" Bigfoot added, watching the nice lady as she warmed her hands with the fire, flexing her fingers so that the heat seeped into them. Huh, it hadn't seemed that dangerous to her, scary once you were off the beaten track since you couldn't see the hidden roots and rocks as you were walking but apart from that, the woods weren't that bad.

"Why'd you say it was so dangerous out here?" Jasper asked, flexing his fingers too, although it wasn't from a lack of warmth, more like the hair of his palms growing disturbingly long to the point where his skin felt like it was right next to the glowing embers.

"There's this hunter--S. Thompson. He's been setting traps for me all over the woods," Biggie replied and no one liked the sound of that. Not only did the idea of their new friend being caged like an animal make them feel awful, but they also didn't feel safe anymore knowing that there were claws and contraptions hidden under leaves and branches. 

And of course, their favourite idiot was out and about in it, hunting down the treasures he'd seen out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey!" Ray suddenly shouted and poked his head above the flora to show that his hunt had led him back to their vicinity...and the allure of his sweet girl too. "I found some pork chops just lying here on the ground!"

"No, no, don't--" The gentle giant tried to warn him off touching the pork chops but it was too late. 

"G'ahhhhh, it was a trap!" Ray yelped in agony as a metal claw tanged and ensnared his arm with diabolic teeth. Luckily, he was the indestructible Captain Man, so there was no medical emergency, just the wailing of a lost lonely creature who should've followed its mate instead of sticking its nose where it didn't belong. "Monkey fungus, this hurts!"

"Oh my god..."

"You all right, dude? (y/n)'s worried!" Henry called to him and held a calming hand out to (y/n) to tell her that Ray was a big boy, she didn't need to run off to mollycoddle him. She was protective, he knew that, but technically this was on the idiot who just saw something he liked and grabbed it--come on, the world was not going to respond in the same way she did when he grabbed her ass.

"I'm o-kay!" Ray announced, easing his girl's worries with one bellow of his signature phrase. The pain wasn't so bad once his skin adjusted to the pressure and hell, it was worth it for a free pork chop that had been sitting on a dirty rock for who knows how long.

"Hey, is that a bottle of root beer? I'm gonna grab it," he suddenly gasped and no sooner than he did, he was off wandering in another direction, causing his friends to cringe. Something to was the crusty pork down, nice root beer that could've contained any other substance. Delicious.

"What? No, don't grab it! That's probably another trap, you doofus!" (y/n) shrieked over her shoulder but again, Ray didn't listen until he'd stuck his hand in yet another booby trap. The second the bottle left the pressure plate, it snapped shut on his other wrist with a force that would've broken the tendons there had it been anyone else.

"Cobra-Kai, that was equally painful! G'ahhhh..."

"That's the man you want to marry?" Charlotte asked (y/n) dryly, giving her one of her dubious looks as if to tell her that she was dumb for falling for such a moron. They were polar opposites, he could do very little right and she could do very little wrong; even if they had taught her what true love looked like, it was hard to see what the woman fell for since she wasn't the type to go solely off looks.

"Yeah...he has his good moments," she replied quietly and scuffed her sneaker against the dirt. She could name a million things that made her fall in love with Ray, starting with how kind he could, how gentle he was, and how he secretly cared more than anyone, to his floppy hair, baby blue eyes and goofy grin. Amongst other things.

"Oh my god, (y/n/n), what happened to your knees?" Jasper unexpectedly exclaimed, having watched the way she scratched her shoe into the ground and caught sight of the fading bruises.

They were barely visible, almost fully healed so really, she just had some very, very minor bruises that would disappear within the next five minutes. However, if Jasper knew her superpower, and he did, he'd say that for them to be like that, she must've scuffed them up pretty badly. What had happened?

"Oh, uh...um..." the woman stuttered and prayed that the heat from her cheeks couldn't be felt by the kids over the fire. She had to think of something quickly, something that couldn't be added to the pile of reasons why she adored her doofus because it would scar all of them for life.

"Oh, uh...on the way back, I tripped on a tree root and cut them! Nothing super-regeneration can't fix, though..." was her pathetic excuse, which thankfully, went over Henry and Jasper's heads as though the scenario was plausible. They nodded and smiled sympathetically, telling her to watch where she was going in future, powers or no powers, but Charlotte didn't look so convinced. Yeah, sure, she tripped all right. Straight onto Ray's--

"People have been hunting you for years. What's so special about this guy?" Schwoz asked, turning to Bigfoot who was strangely tense after Jasper mentioned (y/n)'s banged-up legs. They were grown-ups, not idiots and the hairy man cleared his throat before continuing, sparing his and the woman's blushes with some tactful conversation.

"He's really good. He knows exactly what I like; pork chops, root beer..."

"Season two of Will & Grace on Blu-Ray!" Ray shouted once more, having spotted the small plastic box on the floor but not the trap that was undoubtedly hidden beneath the shower of dried leaves and twigs.

"That's a good season!"

"That's a great season! Maybe I can pick it up with my foot..." the hero replied, having spent many a binge session with his sweet girl to watch the famous sitcom. It was a freebie, he had to get it but this time, he was going to outsmart the trap since his hands were full, sort of.

"Ray, stop!" Schwoz yelled, hoping to get him to come back but the man was a child--he looked with his hands, not his eyes.

"AHHHHHH! Sweet Megan Mullally, when will I learn my lesson?" he whimpered as his leg was captured too, the metal threatening to impale his skin, even though it was holding out. That was a good question, when would he? Probably never, which was why it was always best to send his handler rather than let him work it out for himself.

"Someone should go get him," Charlotte suggested, eyeing Henry and (y/n) since they were the ones her boss liked best. His sidekicks could handle him, no sweat.

"On it."

"Honestly, it's like looking after a goddamn toddler," the young woman sighed as she followed Henry speedily. Hopefully, they'd get to Ray before he did something idiotic enough to land himself in serious trouble and it was annoying that she had to move again when the fire had just begun to keep her toasty.

"Anyway..." Bigfoot said sadly, standing to his enormous height and going over to get a tangerine from Schwoz's basket as he watched the boy and girl jog away around the corner, "it's only a matter of time before that hunter, S. Thompson, catches me."

"Y'know, Biggie, my friends are superheroes. Maybe they can help get this guy off your back," the genius suggested. He hated to see one of his oldest and dearest friends so gloomy and if he could, he'd do anything to help. And one of the biggest ways he could do that was getting Ray, Henry and (y/n) to flex their super muscles, intimidate this asshat a little bit to leave the woods and its residents alone.

"Hey, Henry! Grab that top hat that's randomly lying on the ground!"

"No, dude. It's a trap!"

"But look how fancy it is!"

"Raymond! You already look like a fire-damaged Lady Gaga impersonator, don't you dare set off another one of these things!" Well, they were super most of the time. Schwoz and Charlotte shook their heads as they overheard the interaction of the sidekicks trying to get the hero to follow them, only for him to reiterate how dumb he was.

"I know, I'll just kick it out of the trap really fast before it closes!"

"No, you doof, that's not gonna work!--" (y/n) begged her lover and tried to grab onto his bicep and tug him away without aggravating the claw on his arm, but once Ray had an idea in his head, he didn't snap out of it. Not even when she whined at the sight of him getting lynched.

"Yeooooowwwwwww! Mamma mia, that's a spicy bear trap!" He yowled as his other got caught, meaning he was now snatched and snipped in all four corners; the pain was near unbearable but he had his prizes, including a dashing top hat that he hoped would make his despairing sweet girl fall for him.

"See what I mean? There are traps everywhere," Bigfoot sighed and Schwoz understood his predicament. From how easy it was to fool Ray, there was a different trap every few feet, so there was no wonder that he was on edge--one wrong move could spell disaster.

"Hey!" Ray yelled as he approached the clearing again, finally having been shoved that way after Henry wrestled him away from something else interesting - another spoil of bear trap war. "Did you guys know there's a bunch of traps and a really sweet top hat in the woods?"

"Yeah, did you also know there's a massive doofus who keeps falling for them too?" (y/n) hissed as she moodily walked behind him, watching how her lover limped from the pain and weight of the metal that clung to his body. He did look cute in the top hat, though, like a huge dork that her heart couldn't help but sing for no matter how much he irritated her with his antics.

The doofus wasn't the only creature falling that night. The sweet girls were at it too.

~A while later~

After peeling Ray from the traps, a task that had required all of them working together and a monumental amount of effort, the plan to save Bigfoot was well underway.

The heroes were in their uniform, ready to pounce should this S. Thompson guy show up prematurely but apart from the electric anticipation in the air, things were smooth. 

Using one of his many contacts, Ray had brought in a large, steel booby trap, one that wasn't like one of those piddling little claw things that had got him. No, this was the real deal, something he'd used to trick criminals hundreds of times before. 

It was a box, spread out flat across the woodland floor and when lifted by several ropes, it trapped whoever was dumb enough to be standing on it like an animal. It was genius, apart from the fact that they had yet to camouflage it.

"Thanks," Jasper nodded at Henry, who had taken the time to laser off the hair on the boy's hands since they had a lick of free time now that most of the work was done. 

"Yeah, you got it," the sidekick smiled, glad to help out his buddy. Well, he'd mainly done it to stop his complaints, not to mention the fact that the sight of the ever-growing hairs was starting to freak him out.

"It was really hard to go to the bathroom with all of that hand hair."

"I don't wanna hear about it," Henry said quickly, recoiling at the image of Jasper doing stuff and then, stuff getting on things and...ew. He did not want to hear about that, too much information but it didn't deter Jasper, not at all. 

Sensing his friend's discomfort, he merely smiled and warmly patted his arm before walking off, mentioning something about enlightening poor Charlotte with his toilet troubles instead. She and (y/n) had been sent off on a very important mission whilst the guys did all of the heavy liftings with the trap; they were told to collect twigs and moss and leaves--that sort of thing--any material that would cover the metal sheets and blend it into the ground. 

"Hey, we got the pine needles you wanted to cover the trap!" Charlotte announced, shuffling back into the clearing with a fluffy mound of brown foliage. Twigs, moss and leaves weren't that easy to carry, but millions of pine needles could easily be scooped up, even if they didn't make them feel itchy and scratchy. 

Walking to the centre of the flat box, the girls dumped their loads, watching as it fluttered to the ground and covered about one per cent of the metal, which didn't help them. The needles clumped together, so all it was were two brown lumps on the ground, not the thick camo they were after.

"Oh my god, where'd the trap go?" Henry asked sarcastically, looking at the two who didn't respond well to his dry quip. He'd expected them to either bring more or at least try and spread it out, give them a bit more coverage, but frankly, it was a pathetic effort on their part.

"Seriously, sweet girl? That's all the pine needles you could get?" Ray turned to his fiancée, whose eyes narrowed at the prospect of him pointing the blame but he didn't sound mean or angry, just soft and questioning. Right, the others could be told off but never her--she was the one he was enchanted by.

"Well, doofus, we could've gotten more if maybe someone would've helped us. I don't know, maybe someone with floofy hair and thirty-two-inch biceps?" (y/n) replied frankly, her hands on her hips since she wasn't a miracle worker. 

If she was an octopus, she would've been able to carry eight times that amount, or if she was a magician, she could float them over, but she wasn't. She was just a superheroine who'd tripped a million times in her cute boots that were sadly not designed for rocky terrain and had a lover who'd been too busy strutting about like an egotistical peacock to help her and Charlotte.

"Don't worry, darlin'. I got you," he smirked and for a moment, she genuinely thought that she'd gotten through to him with her flirting and stroking of his ego but then, he had to go and ruin it, "Jasper! Schwoz! Go with Charlotte and Miss Danger and get more pine needles."

The boss had spoken and upon receiving his command, the boys and girl sloped off to go and scavenge for more needles, leaving (y/n) to give him a boring look. And people said chivalry was dead.

"Wow, Captain Man. Thanks a lot!" She exclaimed in a faux excited voice, turning lethargically on her heel but not before pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. He might have pissed her off but she'd never leave without giving him one, otherwise, she'd never be able to concentrate on anything other than the knowledge that her doofus might not know how much she loved him. And she could never have that.

"So, what's the plan?" Bigfoot asked as the woman walked off to tell Jasper not to eat any unknown substances. It was his voice that broke Ray out of his trance, having been totally in a dream as he followed her figure until it had rounded the corner completely. What? What was that? Had he been thinking about her thighs again? Certainly not!

"We're gonna trap that jerk-bag hunter," Ray replied calmly. He still wasn't awed to be in Bigfoot's presence but he could tolerate him now that his system was clear and he had a job to focus on. 

"Yeahhhhh, Bigfoot likey!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, as soon as we spring the trap, Captain Man and I will pop out and he won't even remember that you're Bigfoot.

"Oh, solid plan!" The hairy man grinned as Henry explained what they were gonna do and it did sound pretty cool. The hunter couldn't hunt if he didn't know what he was hunting, which was what made it so clever, if only they were that too. After all, they were so busy chuckling that they didn't notice the predator circling them.

"How does this trap worked?" Biggie asked, distracting them yet again from their surroundings. The stalker in the bushes was good at his job as Bigfoot had described, so he knew how to muffle his footsteps and creep about in the shadows to the extent that not even the great Captain Man with all of his experience knew what was happening.

"Great question, 'Foot!"

"You're gonna stand right over there and when the hunter sees you, he's gonna be like, doo-do-doo-do-doo-do! There's Bigfoot!" Ray played it out, acting like an idiot as he scampered over to stand in the middle of the trap.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, he's gonna walk over and stand right here--this spot," Henry carried on, moving to stand next to his boss so they were adjacent to the pathetic pile of pine needles. They were so dumb; Thompson was standing right there and they didn't even know it, and neither did they see how huddling together was a really crap idea.

"Right here?"

"Mhmm, right where we're standing right now," Ray nodded to the other man, who was now in the centre of the box too, looking around intently but not that intently...or carefully.

"And then, Schwoz will hit a button and he'll spring the trap."

"This trap right here?" Bigfoot pointed to the metal under their feet, just to make sure he knew what they were planning. After all, it was his safety and everything.

"The same."

"The one we're standing over right now."

"And where is this button that springs the trap we're standing on right now?" Bigfoot asked, not realising that his biggest foe was eavesdropping on every word they were saying. It was like they wanted him to know how to outwit them or like they had a death wish because Thompson was getting some great tips on how to catch the beast he'd been after for so many years.

"Another great question, 'Foot. It is riiiiiiiggggghhhtt...there," Henry slurred, looking around for the button since he hadn't been paying attention when Schwox had been setting it up. He and Ray scanned the trees and surrounding bushes before their eyes landed on one big red button that had been nailed to a tree trunk. And that's when they finally noticed the man in the high-vis vest standing next to it. 

"Hey there, fella!" Ray suddenly said in a tight, chirpy voice that didn't soothe or fool Thompson. He knew a nervous person when he cornered one or three, including his prize.

"Would you mind stepping over here to the--" Too late. Nothing Ray could've said would have convinced Thompson to do anything but whack the button; he'd waited years to catch Bigfoot and now, he had him and he'd virtually walked into a trap set by himself. He wouldn't pass up that opportunity. Immediately, the trap was sprung and a series of pulleys above their heads pulled the walls up, magnetically locking the three in a solid steel box.

"Woo!" The hunters had become the hunted.

Inside, Ray pulled a portable light from his belt and stuck it to the wall, giving them light now that the moon was hidden due to the height of the metal. It wasn't great but at least they could sort of see.

"Okay, we need a new plan..." Henry hissed to his boss, who knew that it was just a question of what. They couldn't get out, not on their own and little did Thompson know but they had two teens and a weirdo and a hot superhero out in the woods as a backup. He knew what to do.

"Scream for help?"

"Scream for help." Henry nodded and instantly, the three bawled at the top of their lungs. The noise ricocheted out and into the night air as they begged for mercy, for someone to come get them and for the hunter to not hurt them--Ray even tried thumping on the walls to no avail. All that could be heard was that hillbilly celebrating his easiest victory ever.

"Woo! Gah! Yeeewoo! Finally got Bigfoot! Yeah, gah, you're in there, boy! Woo!" He screamed and banged his fist against the steel, causing Biggie to jump at the racket as his enemy taunted him. "I'm gonna call the news right now! That's right, I'm gonna be famous! I'm definitely gonna get married now..."

"Not before I do, buddy..." Ray muttered, fully aware that the asshole couldn't hear him but still. He wasn't gonna be carted off like some freak and fail his mission there had to be some way out, after all, he had a very important date to make at some point. And even so, he doubted that any girl would want to come in three feet of a man who wanted to poach innocent beings.

"Dude, he's calling the news. What are we gonna do?" Henry questioned worriedly and ignored the murmurings that fell from his boss' mouth. He was more concerned with their current predicament than whether Thompson thought he was God's gift to women or water.

"Oh, come on. Like the news is gonna pick up..." the hero scoffed at his sidekick's worries. Not to be mean or anything but S. Thompson was a bit of a weirdo and he doubted that the news would pay attention to him at all--if anything, this would be a wake-up call for him to get a proper job.

"This is the hunter, S. Thompson and I trapped Bigfoot. Bring your cameras, you can be the first people in the world to show pictures of him!" The hunter's hushed voice came from outside and quickly, Henry gave Ray the stink eye. He just had to jinx it, didn't he?

Yeah, the news was interested, they had very little else to do, so now, Mary, Trent and probably all the other creature fanatics in Swellview were headed their way. 

"He called the news! They're on the way!" Bigfoot exclaimed in a panicky voice. He was freaking out at the thought of being exposed to the world and from the sounds of it, he was near tears at the thought of being labelled a mutant, a sideshow freak. 

"Relax, 'Foot, I'm gonna laser us outta here," Ray told him soothingly as he plucked his controller from his belt. He'd had a great idea and hell, it had once been tried in a movie so it might work now, even if in that movie, the theory hadn't panned out.

"What? No, no, no, dude, it's diamond-plated steel--" Henry tried to warn him that firing a laser could have disastrous consequences but like always, Ray didn't listen. Schwoz and (y/n) had said something about the metal being extremely durable and resistant, so a silly laser wouldn't do a thing, not even a scratch, as they were about to see.

Ray fired a small shot, not at full strength but not a mild one either, but when it came into contact with the patch of walls above their heads, the plasma bounced. It another plate and another and another, ricocheting all around them until it burned a hole in Bigfoot's fur. 

"Ow!" He yelped in pain as the heat seared away all of the hair to leave his skin underneath smooth and pale. Definitely not one of Ray's best ideas.

"Maybe if I set this thing to kill..." he muttered, again not thinking with his head. Stupidly, he didn't make the connection that a stronger laser wouldn't help, all it would do was render one of them dead, so Henry would have to wrestle to stop him before something disastrous happened...or maybe not. He'd just had a brainwave.

"Hang on a second. Dude, dudedudedudedudedudedude--"

"What? What?" Ray looked at him, agitated from all of the pesterings. Seriously, that was as annoying as (y/n) begging him for a slurp of his drinks all of the time but without any of the butterflies.

"Dude, look at his arm," Kid Danger said, pointing to Biggie's right arm, the one that had been nicked by the rogue laser.

"Yeah, it's big, but mine are way bigger," the man replied, not seeing the significance of the other guy's arms when his were superb. Come on, they made Miss Danger swoon whenever he tensed them and so, that's what he did, flexed them to make them puff up into the physique that he was well-known for. 

"What? No, that's not what I'm--" the boy shook his head and got his boss to knock it off because his name wasn't (y/n) - thirty-two-inch biceps didn't work on him. "Look at the bald spot! It looks like he's got normal skin." He redirected his attention to the lasered spot, which kinda looked like Jasper's head had been after the unfortunate incident.

"So?" Ray shrugged again, not seeing why the kid was getting so pumped over silly old Bigfoot. 

"So, this might sound crazy but...what if we shave Bigfoot with our lasers?" Henry suggested, looking at Ray with a devious smirk. Hell yeah, it was crazy and kooky but they were desperate, so maybe they needed a bit of that. 

"Okay...love that," Ray was up for it anyway. After the Jasper incident, he'd discover that seeing someone with their hair gone was pretty funny and besides, Bigfoot was known for being hairy--what would the news crews do if they turned up to a pink blob and two superheroes? Probably nothing.

"Uh...I don't know, guys. My hair is kind of my thing," the hairy man said anxiously. He had some doubts, which was understandable but it might be their only option.

"Exactly! So, if we zap your hair off, when they open this up, it'll just be three totally normal, hairless dudes just chilling in the woods!" Henry explained. Honestly, Biggie didn't know if getting caught as a beast or as one of three guys in the woods was worst--the boy did make it sound a bit weird, especially when he and Ray did their weird little hand-wiggle thing.

"Hairless boys!"

"Exactly!" They grinned and did their little high-pitched tongue noises as their fingers wiggled together before looking at the man expectantly.

"Uh, I don't know..." Bigfoot debated, sounding unsure since it had taken him a long time to get to be the walking carpet he was now. How long would it be until he got his hirsute splendour back? But then...

"Woo! Ya hear that? The news is comin'! Yeah, the world is finally gonna know the name of the hunter, S. Thompson! You're mine now, ya big, smelly hairbag!" The obnoxious poacher's voice came from outside and the southern drawl sent a shiver down Bigfoot's spine. Right, he had to remember the alternative and what would happen to him if he didn't lose his hair. It didn't bear thinking about.

"Be gentle..." Finally, he came to a decision; the hair had to go. At least if they set it to a weaker setting then the beam wouldn't be as strong or painful, and so, with the devices turned down low, Henry and Ray got to work. Biggie's eyes were squeezed shut as green light began to glide across his fur, taking it away bit by bit. 

It was just hair. It would grow back. Being bald was temporary, being trapped and experimented on was forever.

~Deeper in the woods~

Whilst all of that had been going on with the boys, (y/n) had been traipsing after Schwoz, Charlotte and Jasper for what seemed like forever. 

The boy kept seeing bright plants and flowers that he liked the look of--plants and flowers that (y/n) could swear were poisonous so she had a job keeping him alive as they each collected large armfuls of pine needles until they could carry no more. 

They'd been at it for a good ten minutes, surely, they had enough to satisfy Ray and cover the trap, besides, Charlotte and Jasper could swear that she was getting antsier the longer she was away from her doofus. Stupid love, it made them so silly.

"Hey, I got more pine needles for the trap!"

"Me too!" The girls shouted as they came stumbling back from different routes, having decided that foraging in different clearings would be the best idea. Schwoz was already stood at the meeting point and like them, could barely see over his collection it was that plentiful.

"Okay, just put them over there by the bush--" he instructed them, thinking that they were gonna return to the campsite in a moment but he didn't expect them to just dump their loads on him. As if he was some sort of pack mule, Charlotte dumped her needles on top of his and because of that, (y/n) copied her, believing that he'd kindly offered to carry them so their arms wouldn't get all itchy.

"Wait, wait, that is not--" His protests came too late and then, Jasper returned as well with yet more pine needles.

"Comin' in with needles!" He shouted, carrying another million or so and Charlotte knew exactly what to do with them, after all, they weren't heavy or anything.

"Oh, give 'em to Schwoz."

"No, do not do that!" the genius protested, thinking that he could barely see as it was, he didn't want more needles on top of him. But Jasper had a problem, one that hadn't been taken care of earlier when Henry kindly volunteered to trim his hand hair because, for the most part, it had been forgotten about.

"I can't hear with all this ear hair!" Jasper yelled at an unnecessary volume and now that they looked, the girl could see that he had long tufts of hair sprouting from inside his ears. Schwoz had said not to itch them and Henry hadn't lasered them, so he was having a hard time listening to anything--including himself.

"Give--your--pine needles--to Schwoz!" (y/n) shouted directly into his ear, hoping that she was being loud enough to penetrate the long strands. Jasper strained to catch every word and nodded as he got the just of it, much to the small man's displeasure.

"Okay!"

"Wait! Don't--arghh!" he groaned as the final pile was added and whilst one small bundle weighed practically nothing, added together, it was quite hefty, enough to make him feel a slight strain. "I know my muscles are huge but--

"Hey, guys!" A voice suddenly came from the right to cut off Schwoz. He couldn't see who it was but for (y/n), Jasper and Charlotte, it was highly familiar--Piper. (y/n) squeaked at the thought of her seeing Miss Danger in the woods, fraternising with two teens who she wasn't supposed to know and in a split second of panic, she froze and looked for a place to hide as the girl approached.

"Someone caught Bigfoot in a trap--bye!" And like that, she was gone. Piper didn't even register that a gobsmacked heroine had been in the clearing, as well as a walking haystack so it was a surreal experience until the panic set in again for a whole different reason.

"Wait, what did she say?" Schwoz asked, not having heard the shocking news above the rustling of the pine needles. Plus, it was kinda hard to believe it since they were trying to do the reverse.

"Someone taught Bigfoot how to rap!" Jasper replied loudly, getting nearly all of the words wrong thanks to his hairy ears. To be fair, Piper had only been present for all of three seconds and Charlotte had (y/n) barely caught it, so he was at a disadvantage.

"No! Someone--caught--Bigfoot--in a trap!" Charlotte yelled, sounding out each word as the heroine had done earlier so he had time to catch them. Well, that didn't sound good at all, especially since if Bigfoot was trapped, then something must've happened to Ray and Henry too. Oh, god...

"We need to get back there!" (y/n) breathed out and gestured for the kids to run after her as a chill ran down her body. Her sweet doofus, Henry, Biggie, something must've happened, so she took off running with the teens hot on her heels as Schwoz floundered with the now useless needles.

"Wait, what about the pine needles?" He called after them.

"Who cares?!" Charlotte screamed over her shoulder and by that point, she was already gone by the time Schwoz said that he did. Miss Danger would have a heart attack if anything happened to her companions, especially her soulmate, but the genius was more concerned about what they had spent so long collecting. 

But he didn't have to think about it for long because as he worried about what to do with them, a large, grumbling man emerged from the bushes, heading straight for him. In his drunken state, the man collided with Schwoz, coating himself with the needles that for some reason stuck to him like glue and when he roared from the pain, Schwoz took off running.

He knew a monster when he saw one, even if that monster looked strangely familiar, so he left it to gurgle and claw at the fuzz clinging to his skin so he could make a break for it and catch up with the others.

~

In the clearing, things had started to heat up.

True to their word to S. Thompson, the news and all of their helicopters, crews and the genuine desk had turned up for the big report, one that would make the hunter famous once and for all. Trent and Mary were here and as soon as the cameras started rolling, he'd spring it for them to see, for the entire world to see.

Not only that, but a group of enthusiasts and local busybodies had arrived, hoping to catch a glimpse of the real-life Bigfoot in the man's trap, so their phones were ready for the big moment, whenever that would come.

"This is insane..." (y/n) grumbled to Charlotte and Jasper, her arms folded as she watched the news desk be lowered from the helicopter for Trent and Mary to sit at. 

There had been a few murmured whispers about why Miss Danger had suddenly stormed onto the scene with her face like thunder and two teenagers and a weirdo following her but she was too worried to pay attention. Apparently, Bigfoot was in their trap, which had worked perfectly only on the wrong people, and she just knew that her doofus was stuck in there too--the doofus.

"That's good, Rick!" Trent shouted to the helicopter pilot once the desk was firmly on the ground for her and Mary to sit at.

"Did I miss Bigfoot?" Piper asked Mitch Bilsky, who had indeed been the terrified camper spooked by Biggie earlier. The girl had been slowed down by her dad, who'd gotten lost somewhere along the way after eating some poisonous fungus, but she'd left him behind when the whir of the helicopter sounded above her head. Bigfoot was more important.

"Nah, that guy's about to reveal him right now," Mitch replied, pointing to Thompson as he loitered around the trap, "I'm gonna get a video of me looking at his feet going, what are those?!"

"If I could have everyone's attention!" The hunter announced and looked to the crowd where Mitch was being so immature, "I'd like to give a little speech." He said tenderly, annoying the buzzing crowd who weren't much for mushy sentimentality.

"Websters defines a hero as a big sandwich...but if you look a little further down--"

"Just open it up, ya gunch!" Mitch yelled, interrupting the dumb speech that was in no way relevant or tearjerking. For once, (y/n) was grateful for his big mouth and shuffled from one foot to another as the seconds lagged. She didn't want to hear some shit about sandwiches when her friends and lover were trapped inside and about to be revealed to the world.

"Fine, I'll open it," Thompson huffed, annoyed that his glorious moment as a hero had been shot down, but the best was yet to come as he grabbed the trap's release. 

"Behold! Bigfoot!" he cried and the walls fell into their original flat position. As (y/n) had predicted, Ray and Henry had indeed gotten trapped with Bigfoot, caught by that dumbass hunter but along with the heroes was a being who blew her mind. 

The cameras flashed as everyone gawked at the guy who was supposedly Bigfoot, but he wasn't. What had been fur was now smooth, pale skin that had seen little sunlight and the teens, (y/n) and Schwoz gasped as they saw Biggie looking like a proper man. His hair and beard were clipped, as were his torso and legs save for a section around his butt that had been kept furry to save his modesty. Honestly, they were just two heroes and a guy in furry pants, what was epic about that?

"Hey, everybody!"

"Hi, people of Swellview..." Ray and Henry greeted the crowd awkwardly as Bigfoot held his breath and tried not to shiver from the newfound cold. Ray turned to wink at his sweet girl, who sighed with relief when she saw that they were all okay but he wasn't able to quell her questioning look, not without tipping off the crowd that they were in the middle of a scheme.

"Trent, Mary, how's it goin'?"

"How are you?" They then turned to news crews, who looked equally perplexed because they had been expecting Bigfoot, not the crimefighters and some random big guy with weird fashion sense. S. Thompson had gone strangely pale and quiet as he took in his prize--or lack thereof--and he couldn't work out what had happened.

"So...where's Bigfoot?" Trent asked, searching the scene but coming up empty. God, he hated hoaxes.

"He's there! He's right there, look!" S. Thompson snapped, pointing directly at Biggie, who merely appeared shrewd and harmless at such an indictment, turning around as if he was just another curious onlooker--just how Ray and Henry had told him to act. If he looked in a mirror, he wouldn't recognise himself, let alone the fanatics and journalists around them, who always saw Bigfoot in one specific light.

"Who, Eddie? This is just our friend, Eddie," Captain Man lied, brushing away the hunter's accusations with faux innocence and his signature trustworthy persona. Everyone believed their favourite heroes because they loved them so much and their cunning made Charlotte, Jasper, (y/n) and Schwoz smirk at each other.

"Hi, I'm Eddie!" Bigfoot waved to the baffled crowd with a big grin on his face. They were confused but didn't suspect a thing; perfect.

"Yeah, and Eddie here, he--he likes to wear...hair shorts."

"Which are a real thing!" Henry said and was quickly backed up by Ray when everyone's gaze fell to Bigfoot's curious attire. Well, they couldn't leave him naked and from a distance, they just looked like a peculiar garment; it wouldn't be the first time Swellview had been hit by weird fashions, the hip youth was always doing odd stuff.

"Whoa...I never heard of no hair shorts," Thompson protested, glaring at the heroes as they tried to slip his prize out from under his nose. He knew the truth, he could smell Bigfoot after so many years of studying and he wasn't going to let them convince the crowd otherwise.

"Well, I have!" (y/n) abruptly exclaimed, crossing the clearing to come and stand in between Henry and her doofus, bringing with her an opinion that the citizens of Swellview could never refuse. 

Miss Danger was often spotted in every magazine going, whether they be gossip or fashion because everyone wanted to know what she thought or wore or liked, so if she put her seal of approval on hair shorts then they would be in every boutique in the city before the next sunrise. 

"Yeah, I've heard of hair shorts and I think that they are the coolest. I have so many pairs at home!" She lied through her beaming smile as Ray stood smugly next to her and put his arm around her waist. She smiled at that, feeling her heart flutter now that she knew he was safe and sound, even if the camera flashes meant that they'd be headlining the news again as the city's hottest couple.

"Did you hear? Miss Danger says that hair shorts are the coolest!" Charlotte repeated to the crowd in a robotic voice like she was an avid fan eager to follow the heroine's way of life to a tee.

"Yeah! And she's an influencer so hair shorts have to be cool!" Jasper carried on, sending the crowd into a hush of whispers because that's how society worked in the modern era. Celebrities were the leaders and the mere mortal public were the sheep and none could be prouder than Ray as he stood on the arm of the hottest woman in town.

"I--I mean, those are the rules," Piper acknowledged. She was an internet loiterer, constantly checking and refreshing every app and website going for new trends and gossip, so she'd know what to do if one of her idols said something; follow it to the letter.

"Come on, guys. Let's go get some hair shorts!" Mitch smirked at his pack of buffoons, showing that the pack mentality was starting to work--hair shorts would be popular come tomorrow afternoon. And that did not please Thompson.

"No, wait! Don't leave!" he begged the crowd, who were beginning to lose interest now that they knew that Bigfoot was still a mystery and he a loony. "Y'all, that's Bigfoot and I found him! And I'm gonna get married!"

"Fat chance of that..." (y/n) said under her breath so only Ray and Henry could hear her. The man chuckled at her response that was along the lines of his and it was when he had pressed his lips to her temple joyfully that something came stumbling out of the undergrowth.

The crowd gasped as a hulking, moaning creature staggered into the clearing, looking like it had been in a fight with a dead bush and lost, and sounding like it was in pain--kinda like Bigfoot. He was hairy, sort of, and animalistic in his manner, so they snapped a few pictures for evidence of what was actually Mr Hart covered in a load of sap, pine needles from Schwoz, whilst slightly high from the moss that he'd eaten by mistake.

"That's Bigfoot!" Mary cried from the desk, pointing at the terrifying monster as it snarl at the stunned crowd, who quickly descended into madness as they saw what looked like a creature from a fairytale. 

As the disorientated man swayed, they charged, eager to get a hold of Bigfoot and Mr Hart ran for his life, the bleariness in his eyes making it difficult until they were all lead away from the trap. And that left the Man Cave team and "Eddie" alone at last.

"Well, that just about wraps it up," Ray said with a clap of his hands and he could honestly say that he was ready to go home. He had unfinished business with his sweet girl and the idea of falling asleep with her as they watched movies in the bed sounded heavenly.

"So..." Henry nodded, knowing that there wasn't much else for them to do now that all of the hunters were on the wrong trail and they'd met Schwoz's friend as they had set out to do. "You guys wanna go back to the Man Cave and watch Will & Grace?"

"Season two?" Biggie asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" Henry giggled and the man and boy bumped fists as everyone agreed that the plan couldn't be better. Well, that would (y/n) and Ray down to the ground, they'd fall asleep watching anything, in their room or not in their room, as long as they could cuddle, which they inevitably would. 

"Let's go!" (y/n) grinned and ushered them all to get moving so they could leave all of the drama behind. However, as the teens, Schwoz and Bigfoot turned to go, Ray's eyes wandered and spotted something shiny and interesting yet again. There were so many traps yet for him to discover...so many things for him to take.

"Ooooh, look. Some cheese titos!" he smirked deviously and wiggled his fingers, indicating that he was gonna swipe them for a binge-watching snack. He would never learn his lesson, no matter how many times he hurt himself or had his fingers smacked by his precious girl.

"What? No, dude, no!" Henry tried to stop him, not wanting to go through the same struggle again but this time, (y/n) was willing to let Ray learn for himself. After all, once bitten twice shy, right?

"No, kid, just let him. Sadly, this is the only way he'll learn," she sighed and held a hand out for him to stay where he was. He was her doofus and she loved him but she wasn't going to spend their lives together running around to wrap him in cotton wool. He couldn't be an idiot forever, he'd soon learn to keep his hands to himself.

"These things are cheesetastic!" Ray grinned and reached down to grab the bag as he kept smiling at his tired fiancée. He'd just get these and then, they could go because of course, he wasn't aware that he was the one tiring her out with his antics. 

"ARGGGGGGHHHHH!" And then came the pain. The claw closed on his hand as the others had and it was like his hand was being ripped off constantly but refusing to let go of his wrist. "Crunchy snacks, that smarts!"

His friends cringed but as the pain passed, they assumed that he'd hobble back to (y/n)'s side to lick his wounds and seek her comfort, but no. In true Ray fashion and despite his silent promise, the hero looked to his left and saw something else, another doohickey that he fancied, and he figured that one more trinket could hurt. Traps could hurt, though, and hearing him in pain was even worse for some.

"Hey, look! A cane! That'll go perfect with my top hat!" he noted as he ate a chip and felt so giddy about the idea of being a pristine gentleman for his sweet girl that he skipped off to go and retrieve it. At this rate, they'd never go home, not until he was immobilised by metal and carrying a bag full of worthless tat.

"Or...he'll never learn." the heroine lamented, burying her face in her hands as Ray went off again...and got trapped again. Did he not know that he was breaking her heart and tearing down every word she said in his defence? She could get him titos if he wanted and she didn't need him to dress up, dressing down was preferable and now, he was a bigger doofus than ever.

"Ow! Puttin' on the Ritz, that hurts!"

"Are you sure you wanna marry him? It's not too late to run for it, y'know..." Charlotte retorted to the woman, who didn't take any offence from her words. She was joking, that was clear, the girl would never ruin the relationship that she helped to forge, but it had to be said yet again. 

They were so different and him so difficult--did she really want to sign herself up for a lifetime of that?

"You don't know my doofus like I do. He's a massive idiot and he drives me insane but he's my massive idiot. I wouldn't have it any other way... I love him."

Hell yeah, she did.

[rhythm-of-space]

To Be in Clover

notes - another big thank you to @sunfl0wer-power for the header and encouragement. this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so i thought i'd share!

warnings - none! just a night with dad!jake

-

"to be (or to live) in clover", meaning to live a carefree life of ease, comfort, or prosperity.

-

“Daddy!” Your little girl squealed from her booster seat at the dining table. You had received a text from Jake earlier, explaining how the band meeting ran late, that he wouldn't make it for dinner, and how sorry he was. This has started to become a routine lately. You knew what you signed up for when deciding to marry him and start a family, but sometimes it felt like he was a traveling nomad in your shared life. 

You didn't even hear his car pull into the driveway as you were wrestling your 3 year old, Clover, into her seat for dinner. But she did, she always did. It's like she had a sixth sense for when her father was around. Since she was born it was like her and Jake shared a brain. Every little detail about them was the same - their unwavering kindness, their steadfast stubbornness, even down to their mannerisms when they tag-teamed far-reaching, but always entertaining, bedtime stories.

Though you had just tucked her legs into her seat, you knew it wouldn't last long until she whined for you to help her down so she could meet her father at the front door. 

You lifted her out by her underarms and set her down on the floor. Immediately, she was out of your grasp and stumbling to the foyer as quickly as her little legs would let her. You followed behind to catch any blows that were common these days with your high-energy toddler.

You hear the click of the lock, the squeak of the door hinge, and then the excitement from your daughter as Jake walks into the house.

“Hi, Clove!” He lifts her up in the air and then hugs her close to his chest. “How was your day, Honey Bee?” 

Her arms wrap around his neck and her legs around his waist to get closer to him, if that were even possible. “Good. Me and Mommy went to the park to feed the ducks. One of them looked like you! We named him Jacob.” She glances up to meet his eyes as they both giggle, “Mommy took a picture. He's real funny lookin’.” Jake looks over at you with a gasp and wide smile from his daughter’s candid observation. 

“You saying I'm funny lookin’?” 

She shrugs nonchalantly, “Kinda…” That earns her a prod from Jake's fingers to her side, prompting another round of giggles.

When her laughs die down some, he steps towards you and slides Clover onto his hip so he has a free arm to bring you in for an embrace. 

“So, you made it…” you state with a pointed tone.

“I did! I missed my girls!” He says with a kiss on your forehead to try to relieve any tension - though he knows a discussion needs to be had between you two when the little one is put to sleep. You weren't the only one feeling the pull that he’s been causing recently. You both need to find a compromise and make it work - just like you always did. 

He turns his focus back to his daughter, “So guess what, Bee? Uncle Danny and I finally finished that riff we’ve been working on. You know the one?” She nods enthusiastically - you, in fact, did not know what he’s referring to but with their unspoken communication and daddy-daughter moments he always makes time for, sometimes it’s hard for you to keep up, “So, I was thinking of playing it for my harshest critic, if you’re up for it.” Clover immediately wiggles out of his grasp, takes Jake’s hand, and bolts to his music room like her life depended on it. 

“Woah, woah, woah hold on a minute,” they immediately freeze like statues at your abruptness, “Uh, dinner? You know, the food I’ve been preparing. The food that’s probably gone cold?”

“But Mommy, you got it from that one place down the road…” she states, and you see Jake unsuccessfully hold in a laugh, looking up to the ceiling to conceal his grin from Clover. 

“Not the point!” You look to Jake for some help, although you know you're not going to get it from him when it comes to his mini-me. She got her wit from him after all. 

“Pleaseee, Mommy, can we go play?” And that came from Jake, the grown man who is now acting like his own toddler, lips pouting and everything. You shake your head and roll your eyes before you turn your back and head into the kitchen to reheat the food as it looks like dinner will now be eaten in Jake’s music room tonight. 

-

You return, arms full of plates and cutlery, to the most picture-perfect moment. Your partner and daughter sat on the carpeted floor, legs criss-cross, mirroring each other - they look more alike every day that she grows into herself, you think. Guitars are propped on their arms - Jake’s Gibson acoustic pulled off the wall and her mini one, fitted to her tiny hands, which usually hangs right next to his. Despite what her father thinks, she is not some baby prodigy so she has no idea how to even play the guitar, let alone understand the chords Jake repeats back to her. But it’s the way they bond. She likes to watch his fingers glide effortlessly along the strings and hear the pretty sounds created from his movements; she thinks he’s making magic, which you can’t argue with. 

Despite Jake’s constant reassurance, you always feel like you’re interrupting these moments. You know they won’t last forever; when she finds her own interests and doesn't see her mom, dad, and uncles as the lights of her life anymore. Sometimes, when she is curled up in his arms drifting off to sleep, Jake mentions how he wishes she could stay small so he can hold her close to his chest and feel her heartbeat flutter next to his forever. 

Jake’s cursing is what brings you out of your thoughts, “Jacob.” you hear Clover scold - even at just three years old, she’s caught onto the idea of naughty words and will take any opportunity to remind her dad and uncles of their place. You’re still surprised her first word wasn’t ‘fuck’ despite how often it’s used around her. 

You make your way from the doorway to where they’re sitting and put their plates down to their sides. His tattered leather bound journal is laying between them, turned to a page filled with his and Danny’s handwritten notes that look like illegible scribbles of crossed out chord progressions and quick notes only they would understand. You sit next to Jake and he offers a quiet thank you and leans over for a kiss.

As he begins to strum a mixture of chords, you start to shovel food into Clover’s mouth as she's too focused on the show in front of her to do anything other than open her mouth for access and chew. These moments have been too far and few between lately as he’s spent his nights in the studio and returns after Clover is asleep, and you missed them dearly. The simple comfort found in the quiet of Jake’s soft thrum of his instrument, the wind-down and relaxation from the busy day, and the way you get to finally be together, just the three of you, a little family filled with love and warmth. 

A couple minutes pass by before he finishes his rough draft of the new riff and he finally looks up from his notes, always a little apprehensive of showcasing his work. The silence is filled with Clover’s open-mouthed chewing - you’ll let it slide this time - as her eyebrows furrow as if she’s deep in thought. 

After a swallow, she says, “Mmm, I like it… but I think you need to practice more. You should ask Uncle Danny for some help, he’s really good, ya know?” Now it’s your turn to chuckle at her blunt honesty not directed at you this time. 

Jake clicks his tongue and smirks, trying not to take his daughter's comment to heart. “And what do you think, darling?” 

“I think she said all that needed to be said,” joining in on the playful teasing. 

“Oh, is that so?” Jake moves the guitar to the floor and places your half eaten dinner out of the way before pinning your body to the ground and poking the spots he knows are off limits, the ones he found early in your relationship that make you laugh uncontrollably. You feel this tiny bit of weight added and in your haze of laughter you look over Jake’s shoulder to see that Clover has jumped onto his back with her arms wrapped around him, joining in on this impromptu dog-pile. 

In this moment there isn’t anywhere else you would rather be and all you want is to sit in this bliss for as long as you can. The conversation you were going to have with Jake can wait for another day.

-

thanks for reading <33

[yukiwhitetm]

The Perfectly Ordinary, Extra-Ordinary Life of Daisy-Mae

Daisy-Mae was a perfectly ordinary girl up until her sixteenth birthday, or perhaps it was the week before, depending on your perspective. She lived with her single mum and her much younger sister Jessica-Jae, who she often had to babysit, a perfectly ordinary family. She finished North Walsham High School with an even mixture of Cs, Bs and As, perfectly ordinary grades. She had a best friend Emma, who she was looking forward to attending Paston Sixth Form College with in Autumn, a perfectly ordinary aim. She dreamed of being a Primary School teacher one day, a perfectly ordinary dream.

Daisy-Mae was a perfectly ordinary girl, until she was not.

On her sixteenth birthday, Daisy-Mae was taken aside by her family before she left for her long-planned trip to Pizza Hut with Emma to celebrate it and told in no uncertain terms that she was a witch born of a long line of witches, which she found hard to believe and, in fact, didn’t believe, at first.

But no. Perhaps that was not when she stopped being perfectly ordinary. Or perhaps it was.

Let’s go further back.

The week before her sixteenth birthday, Daisy-Mae was walking her much beloved St. Bernard George Frederique the Third (although there was no first and second), he was as big as her when standing up on his hind paws and almost as old as her too, even though he was as sprightly as a dog half his age, in North Walsham Play Park when she toppled over nothing at all and fell flat on her face. It sounds funny (you’re welcome to laugh at her misfortune as long as you cry at it too) but what resulted from it was anything but. Daisy-Mae fell flat on her face but her faithful, old dog had no idea and kept on walking. On and on he trod and on and on he dragged her along as she futilely tried to pull herself back up to a stand.

“Georgie!” she yelled as a tuft of grass smacked her in the face. But George didn’t hear as he sniffed at the ground and continued walking.

The situation only worsened for her as her foot caught in the root of a yew tree growing just along the outskirts of the park and –

Pop!

Out went her hip.

It didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt strange. Daisy-Mae could feel her hip dislocate, although she hoped and prayed it was anything but that, she could feel the drag of her bones as they were pulled away from her cartilage. She made a strangled sound and it was at this that her faithful, old dog finally stopped.

He returned to her side and sniffed around her face in concern. He swept his big, slobbery tongue over her cheeks and nose affectionately and she ruffled his fur in reply. George Frederique the Third was a good boy.

As her body settled and realised it was no longer moving in two different directions, her hip pulled itself back together as it ought to be. So, in the end, Daisy-Mae suffered a partial dislocation a week before her birthday.

Rightly, she should have gone straight to the Accident and Emergency department at the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital. But Daisy-Mae was British born and bred and you know what they say about the British stiff upper lip; you stick it out and don’t complain (unless it is as a pastime, which is another British thing) so as not to bother anyone.

Tentatively, she drew herself to a stand, then a slow step forward, then a gentle walk and found she was OK. She rested a hand on her hip because it hurt frightfully but she reasoned that that was only normal really after what had happened (but what had happened?) and she surely only needed to RICE it – Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation – as you need to do for any sprain or strain. And surely, her muscles must be sprained or strained after such an ordeal, whatever it had been.

However, it was not to be. For, what Daisy-Mae didn’t know at no fault of her own was that she was born with a condition known as Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder (formerly known as Joint Hypermobility Syndrome). She had suffered from a constant ache in her back since she was twelve years old and had gone to see her doctor about it twice yearly. And yet her doctor, as often happens in our overdrawn healthcare systems these days, dismissed her concerns as nothing more than ‘growing pains’, even though she hadn’t grown an inch since she was, indeed, twelve. And people with Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder do not heal well.

That partial dislocation of her hip, her left hip she noticed belatedly, had created a rather large tear in her cartilage as it was pulled to-and-fro between her bones. A tear that sat right beneath all her muscles in her leg, the muscles which allow her to walk freely as much as anyone else. A tear that rubbed and rubbed and rubbed against those muscles, making them swell up, all red and painful, every single day for the rest of her life. And it would never ever heal. And it would only get worse.

(First, she would limp through it, until the intense pain was in both her legs and up her side, until they went numb and she fell down. Then she would use a walking stick or crutch to aid it, until the same. Then she would end up in a mobility scooter or wheelchair from it, although still ambulatory. And she would constantly, always, forever be fatigued.)

But Daisy-Mae didn’t know any of that yet.

-

This is the story of Daisy-Mae, a perfectly ordinary sixteen-year-old girl until the day she finds out she’s a witch or perhaps the day she becomes disabled. Daisy-Mae should have been overjoyed at finding out that she was a witch, that all the magic in the world was at her fingertips, but all she could think about was finding a way to heal her disability. And yet it was that witchcraft was not used for healing, more for prevention and protection. After all, why else do you think there are so many stories of crooked-nosed, hunchbacked witches leaning on canes from the olden days?

But Daisy-Mae would not be deterred, she would find a way to heal her disability, even though everyone said there wasn’t one. Because not finding a way simply wasn’t an option to her. She couldn’t live the rest of her life disabled. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

This is a story full of ableism, both internal and external, of friendship, of familial love, of acceptance and a little bit of magic.

Welcome to the Perfectly Ordinary, Extra-ordinary Life of Daisy-Mae.

-

Hello! I am Yuki White (@yukiwhitetm on Tumblr and AO3) and I wrote this little snippet of an original story (all in one sitting!). I based it on my own experiences as a disabled woman with Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder (HSD) and a Labral Hip Tear (the technical term for a tear in your hip’s cartilage), although mine is the right hip not the left and my accident was totally different to Daisy-Mae’s and I was twenty-one when it happened not nearly sixteen.

Did you know one in four people have Hypermobility? Many famous athletes do! But very few people suffer chronic pain and fatigue from it like I do.

My intention in writing this story is to highlight the difficulties of becoming disabled and that, although much of what will drive Daisy-Mae in the full story is finding a way to heal her disability, it’s not always about becoming able again. Instead, it’s about finding ways to cope with your disability. And it’s about accepting and loving yourself just the way you are. Daisy-Mae’s story is a journey, a journey of learning that to be disabled is not to be less than you were before (even though society tells you it is), that your worth as person is not tied up in your ability to work (even though society tells you it is) but in who you are as a person and that you can give back to society in other ways, whether by volunteering your time or just being kind to others. That every life is worth living and every person worth loving.

Now, I have only written this little snippet of The Perfectly Ordinary, Extra-Ordinary Life of Daisy-Mae because I am currently working on Truth, Lies and Butterflies (which is about fifteen-year-old Compulsive Liar Masahiko Ochi, set in 2017 Japan if it existed in a world of magical girls and boys) and promoting myself and my writing, including my original poems and finished novel Shattered (which is about thirteen-year-old water mage, otherwise known as a Wasserzauberer, Konstanze “Konnie” Schmetterling, who lives in a High Fantasy world full of magical creatures, when the source of her beautiful, magical city’s magic is threatened), on my TikTok account @k_lange_r and dealing with life stuff.

So, if you would like to read more of this, for me to write this as a full book one day and publish it for your reading pleasure, then please like, comment and, most importantly, reblog this story to let me know!

[carrie-tate]

THANK YOU 🙏🏻😭 your blog is now my safe place to read about cute tickling. Also, could I ask the questions for Jason? Our boy needs to learn how to laugh and have fun!! With Leo of course

Jason and Leo are more brootp for me, but in general their relationship in any form is extremely interesting

What spot makes them BEG for mercy?

Hips for Jason. Here I am still absolutely sure that this is his weak point. It's like a radar or a sixth sense. Speaking of Leo, I'm thinking… Armpits? It's just funny to me to think that Jason can just pick up Leo and tickle him there. And that's it, you lost Leo lol

2. Are wake up tickles a thing?

They both get up early. Although it seems to me that Leo more often does not “wake up early”, but “has not yet gone to bed, but it’s already morning”, while he spends the whole night behind his mechanical things. So in their case, the situation is reversed, where Jason (I'm sure this guy is an early sleeper, at least in peacetime) has to use every opportunity to persuade Leo to go and sleep

3. Do they react differently to different people tickling them?

It seems to me that Leo, unlike Jason, will be much easier in this. And I'm also sure that he, regardless of who it is, will still reacted one hundred percent

4. Whats they’re laugh like?

The still surprisingly loud and not-so-serious laugh from the serious-looking Jason. And the not-surprisingly chaotic, sound-of-giggles-and-more-filled laughter for Leo

5. Are they embarrassed that they’re ticklish

Jason is not that embarrassed, but he is unlikely to be able to admit it out loud. Leo is the type that can say "Hey! That tickles!" than literally sign his own judgment to be tickled in the next moment. It also seems to me that he is not so embarrassed, since he has fond memories associated with this and his mother in the past

6. Do they seek revenge after being tickled?

Jason is not the most vindictive type who will seek revenge. BUT LEO. It seems to me that this guy will very much look for opportunities to take revenge, and in such a way that those whom he takes revenge on will never immediately understand what awaits them

7. Do they squirm a lot?

Jason is not the most... nimble? He will rather try to cover his mouth with his hand, curl up, but not wriggle out. And Leo, on the contrary, is a bundle of energy that will not give up without a fight

8. Does verbal teasing make it worse?

It works for Jason, though he won't complain about it. And we have Leo the type who usually teases everyone, but he can’t take what he gives at all. Which also serves as a reason for teasing

[italeean]

Good boy... GOOD BOY?!

Kuroko is trying his best to convince Kagami that Tetsuya #2 is harmless and really sweet, but nothing seems to work. The puppy decides to take the matter in his own... paws

A/N: Good evening guys!! How are you? 🍡 Today's fic is a request from @wertzunge and it's my first Kuroko no Basket work, as I told you yesterday. Thanks Max for making a second request and for always giving me such wholesome prompts 🥺 I hope you all will enjoy this fic, suggestions and support are always appreciated. Buona lettura 💚🤍❤️ (Have a nice reading)

DISCLAIMER: This is a tickle fic, if it's not to your taste I don't suggest you read it

The basketball gym at Serin High School wasn't exactly a quiet place. Actually, it was anything but quiet between the noise of everyone steps, balls bouncing and the coach's whistling and loud voice. But that day it was noisier than usual.

"KUROKO!! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" Kagami's voice was so loud that it created an echo in the room. "He's not a thing," the blue-haired boy quickly corrected him "and he's harmless. He's at least twenty times smaller than you." The dog barked in response and jumped into Kuroko's arms eager to get some scritches.

"I don't care how big or small he is," the ace of the basketball team replied with an irritated and subtly scared tone "he's a dog! He can bite!!" He backed away while his best friend followed him. The sixth man's face was expressionless, but it was more than clear that he was having fun.

Their chasing and bickering went on for a while, and they were lucky that the coach had left earlier or they would've been scolded for sure. "Oh sorry the ball slipped from my ha- watch out Kagami!" Shinji's voice resonated through the place, but the red-haired guy didn't hear the warning in time and tripped on the ball, falling on his butt.

After making sure he was alright, everyone started snickering and replaying the scene in their mind, and even Kagami was smiling. He knew it was funny and it could've happened to everyone. What he wasn't expecting at all was a surprise attack from a certain furball, now that his guard was down.

Tetsuya #2 was getting restless in Kuroko's embrace, so the guy put him down to let him run. However, the puppy ran straight towards Kagami and jumped on him in sign of affection. He was more than determined to show to the tall human that he was a good boy, and not someone to be afraid of! To prove that to him, the dog nuzzled and licked his face and neck, anywhere he could reach, not realizing that he was getting the opposite effect.

"K-KUROKO!! GET THIS THING OFF OF ME ALREADYEHE-" The red-haired player covered his mouth with his hand, hoping that no one had noticed what had just happened. Luckily no one did, and Kuroko picked up the mascot eventually, although he vehemently reminded him that he wasn't a thing.

When practice was over everyone went home, but Kagami and Kuroko decided to stay some more to improve their speed and coordination. After another slam dunk, the redhead wiped the sweat off his forehead and grinned "We're getting faster, right Kuroko?" He turned around perplexed "Kuroko? Where are y-AAAHH" He suddenly jumped while shielding his sides with his hands.

The blue-eyed guy had used his "secret ability" to disappear for a second and reappear behind his friend and give a firm jab to his sides. He just wanted to test something he'd noticed when Tetsuya #2 was "assaulting" the taller player, and he was pretty satisfied with the results.

Sensing the playful mood, the dog rushed towards them and barked happily. "THAT THING AGAIN!!" The ace exclaimed in fear and exasperation. Kuroko approached the two of them to take the mascot away, but then he had a mischievous idea. At the last moment, he latched his hands on his friend's hips and squeezed and poked the bones.

"WHAT THE- nohohot yohohohou ahagahahain!" The poor guy broke into a fit of laughter, unable to hold back. "He's not a thing, admit it." The blue-haired boy used his short stature and speed to his advantage to not get caught by the redhead, who was turning around over and over in an attempt to stop him.

"I told you to admit he's not a thing. Say it or I won't stop." The smaller guy replied with a hint of amusement in his tone, while poking all over his teammate's torso, spidering his fingers on his toned belly, worming his index fingers into his underarms and drilling his thumbs into his hips. "Shuhuhut uhuhup and stohohop ihit alreheheahahady!!" Kagami knew that the smartest choice was to just say it and put an end to his friend's shenanigans, but seeing (better yet, hearing, since he was using his invisibility powers) Kuroko amused was such a rare sight that he wanted to carry on a little more.

And maybe he wasn't exactly distressed or uncomfortable with the situation...

Not knowing what to do to escape the tickles, the ace decided to drop to the floor and have his chances in a wrestling match on the ground. As expected, Tetsuya was quick to follow him, and Kagami's plan would've succeeded if it weren't for the unfair intervention of the certain furball.

Having a dog right next to him made the taller player yelp, and that distraction was all Kuroko needed to effectively pin him down. The blue-haired boy knew he had no chance of beating the other when it came to strength, so he pinned his hands above his head with his knees, instead of straddling him and using only one hand to keep him still.

The tickle attack resumed almost immediately with the sixth man sliding his fingers up and down the ribcage and underarms, randomly digging in just to enjoy the startled increase in pitch of Kagami's laughter. "Kurohohokohooo stahAHAHAhap ihihit WAHAHA!!" The red-eyed guy was still too stubborn to let him go just yet, so Kuroko just carried on, watching him squirm and struggle to get away.

With all that movement, the tank top of his uniform had rolled up a little, and the puppy noticed it with excitement. He immediately climbed on top of Kagami, who was too busy laughing to even notice, and started licking the exposed skin. No one knows if he did it to show affection, or to mimic what the shorter guy was doing to get the same happy reaction, or both but the roaring laughter that echoed in the gym was priceless.

"GEHEHET THAHAHAHAHAT THIHIHING AHAHAWAHAHAYEHEHEHE" The redhead didn't even know he was so sensitive on his belly, maybe it was the different touch... but it wasn't the right time to think about that. He still had to break free. He didn't even know that a puppy could tickle that much, even the fluffy paws trying their best to not fall felt tingly on his skin. He really was in quite the predicament.

Luckily for him, Kuroko thought it wasn't safe to let Tetsuya #2 stay on the taller guy when he was squirming so much so he got up and quickly straddled him before getting tge dog off. Kagami instantly covered his torso with his hands, but his friend simply gave him a tiny smug smirk and turned around before getting off.

He proceeded to lay the redhead's shins on his lap, not without an intense struggle, and crossed his legs to trap them. Then he scribbled under his knees with one hand while squeezing right above the kneecaps with the other.

If he thought that the previous laughter was loud, it was nothing compared to the one that broke out the second his fingertips touched Kagami's knees. It was boisterous, just like him; Kuroko thought it suited him perfectly.

However, the fun came soon to an end. It turned out that, despite being so strong, tough and cool, even the ace was weak to being tickled in his most sensitive spot. "YOHOHOU WIHIHIHIN!! HEHEHEHE'S NOHOHOHOHOHOHOT AHAHA THIHIHIHING!" As soon as the red-eyed guy admitted it, the tickling stopped and he found himself free from the blue-haired player's clutches.

After Kagami had calmed down from the residual giggles, Tetsuya #2 started headbutting Kuroko, who was still sitting on the ground, because he felt left out and wanted attention. The shorter guy laughed a little and turned around to give him some tummy rubs. The puppy panted happily with his tongue sticking out and the sixth man awed internally at that sight. "See? He's a good boy..."

"Good boy..." Kuroko could almost see his teammate's furious aura building up around him "GOOD BOY?! IF I HAD TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT, IT WAS BECAUSE OF H-"

"Don't you wanna pet him..?"

Kagami could've said no to that request, but something in his friend's wide, expectant eyes and his hopeful tone made it impossible for him to refuse. He scooted closer and tentatively put his hand on the puppy's stomach, astonished at its softness, then he wiggled his fingers to give some scritches to the little rascal.

Maybe Tetsuya #2 was a good boy, who knows...

[magicalmysteries777]

The Shire Is Burning - Chapter 12.

Summary: Trying to navigate problems like growing up as a teen in the 80s in a new town can be tough enough without taking things like being on the run for faulty murder charges, alternate dimensions, and a psychopath with powers that's hellbent on revenge into account. Can Lilith do enough to help her new friends save everyone from Vecna? Or at the very least... just one person?

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Original Female Character.

Contents: Swearing, smoking, drug use, eventual smut, and canon typical violence mentioned throughout. Minors DNI.

Chapter: 12 of ?

Chapter Masterlist: The Shire Is Burning - Masterlist.

WC: 1567.

A/N: I am currently in the process of re-writing this abandoned wip from last year so I can move onto new projects without feeling guilty. Enjoy ❤️

March 24th, 1986.

Lilith and Eddie lay sprawled out amongst the disheveled sheets and pillows, spent. Glistening sweat covered their bare bodies and their hair was damp and bushy in places. A few moments were spent in silence, both trying to regain their breath before either one of them could muster the energy to speak.

“That was-” began Lilith.

     “Amazing.” declared Eddie.

     “Hot.” she finished.

Eddie dragged himself to the end of the bed and rummaged around looking for something, a few seconds later he re-emerged with a packet of cigarettes in hand. He laid back on the bed, lit a cigarette, and took a long, deep drag. Lilith reached over, stole one, and did the same. Eyes closed, head back, she let the reality of what just happened sink in.

“You’re staring again, creep,” she told him.

     “Your eyes are closed, how can you tell?” Eddie asked, the smirk on his face that she could not see conveying perfectly well through his tone.

     “Sixth sense, I guess,” she chuckled.

     “Spooky bitch. Anyway, I thought you quit smoking?” he interrogated.

     “There’s an exception to every rule, Munson. I thought that would be a concept you were familiar with?” she quizzed back.

     “As much as I love a loophole; it’s a lot more fun if you just set your own rules,” he answered.

Lilith placed her tab end in the ashtray a couple of minutes later and turned to face Eddie, resting her head in her hand. Eddie tucked a stray piece of hair behind Lilith’s ear and began tracing shapes gently on her skin with his fingertips. “What are your rules, then?” she asked, curiosity peaked.

     “I’ve only got one,” he answered, “there are no rules. I’m my own person and I can do or not do anything I want to.”

     “That’s a pretty good rule, but, there are things like laws and shit, you know?” she laughed.

     “Only because some random fancy-pants ancient dudes said so. Some of those laws are genuinely backwards, they’re just there to control us. Everything was put in place to benefit them,” he explained.

     “I’m no stranger to a good protest,” she smirked, “I’ve got the scars to prove it.”

     “You are a feisty one, aren’t you?” he smiled.

     “Feisty? ‘Heinous bitch’ is the term used most often; ask Steve,” she teased.

     “What’s the deal with Harrington?” he asked more seriously.

     “What do you mean?” she replied, confusion sinking in.

     “Little Henderson worships the ground he walks on, Buckley is joined to him by the hip and from what I can tell, you two are pretty close as well. I don’t get it; the guy’s an asshole. Always was at school. You should hear the shit girls say about him, he’s got a bit of a reputation,” Eddie explained.

     “Funny, he said the exact same thing about you,” she smirked, “he’s not an asshole, he’s just… got shit going on like the rest of us, you know? I’ve heard bits and pieces about what he used to be like and I can vouch that he isn’t that person anymore. He’s changed.”

     “I’ll take your word for it…” he replied, obviously not convinced.

The combination of the warm sun radiating into the room and the leg-shaking orgasms had left Lilith feeling more calm and relaxed than she had been in weeks. She let out a quiet yawn, her eyes fighting relentlessly to stay open. Eddie wrapped his arm around her and pulled her down onto his chest. “Get some sleep, Henderson. You’ve been up for hours, you must be exhausted,” Eddie instructed.

Lilith nestled in and closed her eyes, too tired to keep fighting with her eyelids. She was asleep within seconds.

-

“Stop it! Stop it, please! You can’t do this to them!” Lilith screamed at the vast emptiness, watching in horror as Chrissy’s limbs snapped over and over in front of her.

     “You still don’t remember, do you?” the voice growled. “It didn’t have to be like this, Lilith. You chose your part in this years ago. You’re weak and pathetic, just like the rest of them.”

     “Stop it! I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lilith cried.

     “Oh, but you do. You were the catalyst, Lilith.”

-

When Lilith opened her eyes hours later, the bed was empty and the sun was setting. She looked around for something to wear, opting for her Hellfire t-shirt and a pair of Eddie’s denim shorts that were being held on tightly by the belt she’d found in Rick’s room and punched new holes into. Entering the living room, she looked around for Eddie, but he wasn’t there. Lilith found him in the kitchen slathering slices of bread with peanut butter.

“Good evening, sleepy-head,” he said smiling at her, “dinner will be ready soon.”

Lilith walked over and stood next to Eddie, reaching for a can of Mountain Dew out of the bags that Dustin had brought them the previous morning. Eddie scooped her up and sat her on the countertop, standing between her legs and placing an arm at either side of her.

“Eddie, I-” Lilith began. Eddie cut her off with a kiss. Lilith allowed Eddie’s lips to linger on hers for a few moments, the familiar warm feeling starting to spread over her before she quickly pulled away. “Eddie…” she said softly. Eddie’s arms dropped back down to his sides as he stepped backward.

     You’re still mad at me, aren’t you?” he asked, the smile from earlier no longer lingering on his face.

     “I- You- I don't know,” she eventually admitted. “There’s still things to process and nowhere near enough time right now to even begin thinking about them. I’m a little bit more concerned with how we’re going clear our names and shit, you know? It was fun, don’t get me wrong, the, uh, you know… but I think we both got a little bit caught up in the heat of the moment. Probably shouldn’t happen again,” she stated. Eddie looked deep into her eyes for a couple of seconds before smiling at her.

     “Yeah, you’re right. Caught up in the moment. Bigger fish to fry,” he told her.

     “Besides, you’re an ass,” Lilith chuckled. Eddie replied using his middle finger before turning around to finish making their sandwiches.

     “So…” Lilith began.

     “Movie or cards?” Eddie asked.

-

Forty-five minutes into Weird Science Eddie turned to her with a look of shock on his face. “Hey, I’ve just realized. That’s the same kid from ‘The Breakfast Club’. He’s in everything at the minute. Damn,” he told her.

     “Yeah, he’s ace. Have you seen him in ‘Sixteen Candles’?” she asked.

     “No, is it good?” he queried.

     “You’ll love it,” she smirked devilishly, “speaking of kids, any messages over the walkie while I was asleep?” she asked.

     “No. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Should we check in?” he asked in response.

Lilith reached for the walkie-talkie and spoke into it. “Robin, are you there? Over.”

     Silence.

     “Steve, you there? Over.”

     Silence.

     “Dustin? Anybody? Are you there? Over.”

     More silence.

Lilith placed the walkie-talkie back down on the table and continued watching the movie without saying another word, trying to distract herself from how worried she was starting to get. It had been over a day since they’d last heard anything from them. What on earth were they doing? Had something happened to them?

“Hey, you okay?” Eddie asked, snapping her back to reality. Lilith found herself staring blankly at the end credit scene of the movie.

     "Yeah,” she lied, blinking a few times to readjust her eyes.

     "Want to watch another movie or play cards?” he asked. Lilith thought long and hard for a minute before landing on a decision.

     “Cards.”

-

“Stand or hit?”

     “Hit.”

     “Bust.”

“Stand or hit?”

     “Stand.”

     “You’re still shit.”

“Stand or hit?”

     “Hit”

     “Oh my god, you won!”

     “Don’t bullshit me, Henderson.”

     “I’m not, I swear to God. You finally won a game.”

     “No fucking way.”

-

Eddie let out a loud yawn as he sat with his eyes drooping shut. Lilith looked at the clock; it was pretty late and he had been up all day, unlike her. She stood up very slowly, trying her best not to disturb him, and tiptoed toward the door. She’d just placed her hand on the doorknob when Eddie spoke. “Stay.”

     “Eddie-” she began.

     “Please. You’re not the only one that’s been having nightmares recently,” he admitted.

Lilith turned around and sat back down on the sofa. Eddie sat looking at her for a few seconds with his mouth open as though he was about to speak, but he closed it again. Instead, he placed his head in Lilith’s lap and stretched out across the couch. She stroked his hair gently until he was letting out quiet snores and slipped out from beneath him before retreating to the bedroom.

She pulled a fresh pair of boxers and a t-shirt from the bag and changed quietly before getting into bed and picking up her book. After what she assumed was a few hours, judging from the number of pages she’d read, her eyes too began to droop from the tiredness that was starting to kick in. Lilith placed her book down on the side table and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep within minutes.

-

“I can’t help you, I’m sorry,” Lilith sobbed, voice shaking.  She heard footsteps approaching and turned round. It had finally shown itself after nights of torturous auditory hallucinations.

“It’s almost time.”

[benefits1986]

Meet My 7 Anaks & Counting

Kids make you adult even when you don’t want to and even when you can’t.

You got that right in real black and raging red.  I have kids. Lahat panganay pa because why not?  7 and counting to be exact.  This 37-year old balakang has been raising kids since forever.  My first kid is J. I wasn’t really happy to have him since I was so young. A few weeks after he came home, he contracted meningitis. I saw him battle the lumbar puncture at three months old. I was waiting for a really loud cry but all I saw was a soundless howl. Since we practically grew up together, I always have a tough time managing him. He called me by my first name one too many times.  My second kid is K. He is a few years younger than J. When I first saw him, I felt weird and pleasant because he is suck a tiny bundle. A few months after he came home, J and I gave him chicken pox. It was summer season. We didn’t know that we’re not allowed to come near him because chicken pox is communicable. Mother dragon told us that it’s fine. K will get by. I took this really badly and reminded myself that I ought to step up.  My third kid is R. He came home sick and I looked after him for quite some time. I remember his first day in school. He held my hand and shook his head. I told him that it’s gonna be fine. My most memorable encounter with him is when we watched a GP movie and again, he shuddered. It was his first time to be in a cinema so he needed to adjust his big eye to the darkness a little slower than the rest of the world. Later, I saw him laughing and having the time of his life. Good times, that one.  My fourth kid is a Gen Z with an old soul. She is B. She came later because we didn’t get to spend her formative years together. She has hips that don’t lie, and RBF and she masters the side-eye emoji in real life. She reminds me a lot of my naive younger self.  My fifth kid is Z. I gave this kid that nickname because her real name is too feminine. I forced her mom to say yes. Since Z belongs to Generation Alpha, I reasoned that this kid ought to have a nickname that’s flexible, just in case she’d want to change this name. The mom told me that I overthink way too much. Later, she agreed that Z’s nickname is modern and is unique. RBF all the way, I assured the mom that everything’s gonna be fine and that we’ll make it with you, little Z.  My sixth kid, and perhaps, my last is A. She is in the spectrum. I thought that after 5 kids, A will be a breeze since I’m no longer a kid. I thought that I have little patience but she challenged it beyond this universe and even across all galaxies. Though we rarely meet eye to eye, literally and figuratively, A gives me the gift of really growing up even when after all these years, I feel like I’m defying gravity. I’ve yet to see A in full bloom so I need to make sure I live long enough to catch her in every fall especially in this third world country where autism is looked down upon. One time, she had a prod levels tantrum in the grocery. People stopped and stared. With my RBF, I said: How can I help you all? The flock dispersed. A got her stage back. Tabi kayo. Kids like A have too much sensory responses and that tantrums are but kids’ stuff. Deep inside I feel so much worry because A’s life is bound my uncertainties that even I can’t control.  My pahabol kid is E. The first time I saw her sa PT, I blinked many times. LUH. True ba ito? E is super young pa so ang core memory ko pa lang sa kanya is that naiyak ako when I got her Airforce 1 Triple White plus her first of many Adidas tracksuit in pink because why not? LOL. Never akong naiyak in getting a kid any gift in my entire life kaya dammmngggurlll, iba ‘to. Iba na ‘to.  Indeed, De Ramos hips don’t lie. Kinaya ‘yung 7 and counting pa.  May almost sunod-sunod pa.  Ayoko na rin mag-count because ang hirap.  ______ HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!  Relak.  1 is my brother.  3 pinsans.  2 inaanaks. 1 pamangkin sa pinsan.  But, truth be told, I’ve been a mom all my life. Funny how I came to realize this when K born in ‘92 hugged me before going back to Manila in my ina’s burial almost a week ago. In between talking about his booming business, I asked him: K, wala naman akong mega career stride, bakit mga 4 hours plus tayo lagi naguusap about your business? Let alone wala naman akong alam diyan bilang wala naman sa universe ko ang mundo ng engineering? K smiled a sly smile and said: Ate Bene, I value you kasi ‘yung strength mo, wala ka man sa mundong ‘to, nacompliment mo weakness ko. Remember, ikaw na tuturo sa akin paano defend ‘yung thesis ko, paano mag-communicate, paano dumiskarte. Mommy kita e. I was taken aback a bit and said, ‘wag kang ano diyan, K. Tigilan mo ako. Hindi pa rin ako sasamang mag-golf sa’yo kasi papain mo ako sa mga potential mong prospects. Kamot-ulo si K e. Hahahahahaha. He told me that I’d be getting a commission na pang-pick up ko. Sabi ko naman, ‘di ako impressed sa’yo. Alam mo ‘yan. Uhugin ka pa lang, may bulutong ka pa lang, alam na kita. Che.  K and I fight head to head a lot of times but what’s nice about us is that we agree to disagree. We have been close the past years and ever since then, spoiled ako dito pero pilitang spoiled. Alam niya kasi na ayoko ng basic and ayoko ng surprise. Since medyo marunong na ng galawan, naiisahan na ako. Leche. Kidding aside, K has been with me during my toughest times, too. Biglaang magyaya na sunduin ako tapos sama ako sa mga errands niya then kwentuhan lang about life in general. K is my real pill and my bardagulan pill.  One of the toughest fights we’ve had was when he reached out to me to get a K-drama inspired proposal to his now wife, A. Sobrang banas ko talaga kasi he didn’t know that I have a soft side talaga. Secret K-drama OG girl ako kasi it’s not something I share openly, then. I asked him straight up na why 2 weeks lang and bakit ako of all people? ‘Di pa kasi kami close noon. He told me that he believes na ako lang makakahelp at makaka-manage sa ka-sentihan niya. FUCK. And that wala na siyang ibang lalapitan if mag-no ako. MAGALING ‘TO. NAHASA. Hahahahaha. Agit na agit ‘yung usapan namin and bilang ganti, dahil sobrang hapit na sa timeline, nag 24-hour+ marathon kami sa Tagaytay para matapos na ‘yung gusto niyang itawid. Siya tuloy ‘yung almost sumuko. Tags is where ko natatawid a good number of my deadliest deadline sa work kaya nahanap ko ‘yung cafe na safe kahit 24 hours pa ang labada. :D  Since he wanted to have a K-drama proposal, I gave him very specific directions that he begrudgingly followed but all in buy in naman siya. Even pagluhod with feelings. Perhaps the highlight of our roll out was when he stared at me blankly when I said: NO sa WILL YOU MARRY ME. Inis na inis siya and shouted: E ano sasabihin? K, stop. ‘Wag ako. WELCOME HOME (since expat si A) then followed by WILL YOU BE MY HOME. Basic. Hindi kadire. Hindi cringe. Sapul. His jaw dropped. RBF ako. Nung nahimasmasan na siya, binawian ako, or at least, he tried to: Ate, may romantic side ka pala? ‘Di ko maiisip ‘yun. Tama na ikaw kinuha ko. Me: Shut up. K-drama drug long-term effect lang ‘yan. Tabi. Now, ayusin mo mga pinapaggawa ko. Bilis.  My basher dad verdict sa proposal na ang competition is ‘yung surprise ni K kay A na Mt. Fuji hotel + Tokyo helicopter ride: Iba ka, anak. Mahirap ka na talagang habulin sa surprise if magka-jowa ka tapos mag-propose sa’yo. Baka mag-no ka kasi basic. LOL. Bash pa more, dad. Sige pa. Pero tulo-luha-uhog naman siya kasi siya pinaghawak nami ng engagement ring ni A. Hahahahahaha. Giba. Also, challenged accepted ako na Pinas x Tags will bump off even Tokyo and Mt. Fuji with storytelling na solid at dalisay. Chariz. Seriously, wala sa location, sa prod, sa gara or garbo ‘yan ng life events, mhie. Nasa intention to make stories live on and on, and I, thank you! Though, simula pa lang, wala na akong panatapat talaga sa Jap Dreams in Full Color nung pinsan ko. Sabi ko nga, dapat doon na lang siya nag-propose para ‘di na ako kasali sa kashitan nya.  I told him that last event ko na ‘yun na gagawin kasi panget niya kabonding. Sabi naman niya, marami pang next time. ‘Di ako nag-charge ng fee sa kanya kasi sabi ko ‘yan na gift ko sa wedding niya. So much stress, so much shit. LOL.  Ngayon, andito na kami sa first birthday ng firstborn niya. And sabi ko, ‘wag niya kong bibiglain kasi may mga planned trips ako sa birthday month ni baby E. Sabi naman niya, noted. LOL.  ___

My firstborn. My bunsong kapatid. This one’s tough.  I was so used to being an only child. I didn’t dream of a baby brother or a baby sister. Weird but growing up in our compound back in Pasay, I wasn’t given time to baby talk and baby walk kasi puro adults na kausap ko. LOL. I do have playmates pero since ako lang bata sa compound, basically, spoiled ako. Hahahahahaha. Pero I didn’t know I was being spoiled because mother dragon breathes down my neck and even nudges ‘yung mga kapitbahay na niso-spoil ako. LELS.  And sooooo, when J came home, stressed out ako. Why is there a baby in the crib? Why? I went about my usual grind as a typical kid, but I noticed mother dragon has been spending very little to no time with me na. Shet. I don’t get easily shaken pero this time, shookthhh to the core ako. Oks lang naman hati attention but to look past me??? Whyyy?  Mother dragon planted me at our sofa one day and told me that since ate na ako, I need to play the part. I was 3. :D Takte siya. Syempre, I tried listening since wala nga baby talk na naganap sa childhood ko. She told me that J is sick with meningitis. I was barely able to pronounce it pero pinaulit-ulit niya sa akin. LOL. Hype siya since 1986 talga sa buhay ko, aba. She told me that they’d be spending time in the hospital and I’d be staying with my tita, my 2 lolas, and the list went on and on and on. Bored man ako, naiyak lang ako kasi bakit ako need wala sa bahay ko? LOL.  When J came back home from the hospital, I was too afraid too touch him. Baka magkamali ako. What I’ve been asked to do is to be my mom’s not so little (as a fat kid) elf. LOL. Sunud-sunuran since my dad needs to be in the office to fund my brother’s meds and check ups na hindi dapat ma-miss. And me? Tutoring me was my mom and I’s bonding. SHET. Very transactional po talaga, opo. She explained that I needed to skip nursery and kinder so that WE as in kami ay mag-tag team for my brother. Even when I didn’t want to join this battle, mom managed to get a yes from me since ako ang ate, ako ang panganay. Period. Savage na, savogue pa. Wala akong kawala.  One of the rurok ng pagka-ate ko as per my mom is when I stopped her from giving J his meds. Sabi ko raw: Ma, ‘di ‘yan gamot ni J. Tignan mo... iba color ng packaging. Parang same lang pero no. I remember my mom hugging me and tears fell down her cheeks. LUH. Ano bang ginawa ko na namang mali? HAHAHAHA. Sabi niya: Thank you. Later she told me na very good daw ako as a keen observer kasi when she returned the meds to the store, sabi is if nainom ni J ‘yung meds na ‘yun, game over na. I was almost 6 then. Mhie, details kung details po tayo. Hahahahaahahaha.  Funny how there were times when super galit ako sa kapatid ko nung galawgaw na siya and he literally gets in my way, na iniisip ko as a kid, paano if nainom nga niya ‘yung wrong meds? E ‘di sana wala na akong kaagaw. LOL. Hassle kasi, even my first school had to be adjusted sa sched niya pati doc appointments niya. UGH. I thought that school would be my escape. LOL. Hindi pala. Extension lang ng pagiging ate ko. LELS.  Since J and I have very, very similar names, we grew up being compared kasi same school kami. J is notorious, ako naman notorious pero nakikipagbardagulan kahit nabully din ako at times. Naging matapang. LOL. Tapos, if may umaayaw sa kapatid ko lalo na teachers who are getting back sa kanya, bawat isa nun, may ganting kamalditahan sa akin. Though J and I are always fighting, in the outside world, Ate always looks after J kahit na si J ang madalas na may fault. LOL. Ending, naging super spoiled. LUH.  Years past and now, after all the shit and the super shit, J and I are in a better place. This deserves another post kasi medyo mahaba na masyado ang lahat. J never fails naman to come clean sa lahat kahit super duper delayed na or ‘pag talagang fucking crunch time na at wala na siyang malalapitan para matawid ang mga ganaps niya. Syempre, ate niya ako, kaya at the end of the day and even at night, walang nagbago. Andun kami sa point na if I’d have no kids of my own, lahat ng akin, sa kanya na. LOL. Kaso onti lang meron ako, kaya mag-tiis na lang siya. Laman-tiyan din kahit paano. And that, if he is in deep trouble and any form of emergency, I will run to him. Mahirap kasi na-spoil ko talaga siya, kaya tiisan muna kami. Ako rin naman enabler niya so, magdusa rin ako, right? LOL.  Inaayos pa namin ‘yung gaslighting niya nung nag-hiatus ako sa pag-enable sa kanya, pumalit si K since they’re almost of the same age. LUH. Sabi ko naman: Good thing K is there nung hiatus namin. Kahit ‘di halata, I am always worried about you, hayup ka. LOL pero big boy ka na.  My proud ate moment sa bunso kong kapatid is when I watched him holding hands with his 11-year old panganay. Daig pa ako e. Sana all... not. HAHAHAHA. Natigilan lang ako kasi inspite being a real pain in the ass, I am seeing my brother trying to be a decent parent. WAWAWWW. And that, kahit na super stress ako sa kanya, he will make it. Galingan lang niya talaga. Piliin lang niya ‘yung mga gagawin at mga hindi niya gagawin. I saw pure love in his eye in the same manner that his kid loves him. Oh, shit. Daig nga ako. LOL. Adulting hits na talaga siya e. At uma-adult na rin kahit paano ang galawan.  ______  My third kid is R, ‘92 baby rin. Jusq, mhie. Eto naman, pinsan ko na kasama namin sa bahay ng tito ko. Because we share the same wicked humor and we bully J and R’s sister D a lot, nagkakasundo kami. Siya naman ‘yung isang tingin lang, alam na OG ko. LOL.  When he became an anesthesiologist, damn, natawa ako e. The first time I saw his towering all white ensemble in Makati Med, his first arena, sabi ko: Aba. Talaga? Ayoko magpagamot sa’yo. Baka mamatay ako agad. LOL. Even this super yabang na gagong ‘to, nakakaltukan ko. Natawa siya tapos sabi: Ate, ako nga rin, di makapaniwalang doctor na ako e. Akalain mo ‘yun? At 6 ft. 2-ish ewan ko na height tapos malaking mama na siya ngayon, tingin ko pa rin sa kanya fragile baby boy na may malaking mata. Hahaha.  This time, we are together in battling another curveball in time for Taurus szn. Kakapasok lang na big bad news which I am not ready to share pa today. The last time we had a heart to heart talk was in Tap Station. Nag-sorry pa naka-ratty pambahay siya when we met. Sabi ko, oks lang. Sanay naman akong mukha siyang basura. LOL. We had a deep dive of his recent life ganaps. Mhie, I cannot. Hahahaha. But, in truth, I admire how R is taking one of the team both sa career and sa family.  Indeed, he has grown up pero dami niya pang pabebe shit lalo when it comes to being too focused on making more even when the quality of his relationships are in shambles. Reminded him that he got that from his dad and that okay naman maging good provider but with a bigger heart and gentle spirit. EMS. I hope he passes his incoming exam para maka wantusa Tap Station on him naman daw next time. Opak. Nakakapanglibre na si gago. Hahaha. Also, he is taking Grab ‘pag sira car niya instead of getting a driver. Galing-galing. Bumbaba na ere. And nakikihalo na rin sa realities ng naka-LL as in lalayan ng lipunan ang mini nepotism baby na ‘to.  ________ Ang haba na neto pero oks lang kasi ansakit ng pilay ko. Fuck. Hindi tuloy ako makabike and maka-yes sa golf invites. LOL. Kinakalma ko na lang talaga kasi andami kong gagawin sa Holy Week Break to be honest. UGH.  ________ Then we go to B. While her design is very Gen Z, we vibe kasi ‘yung PL namin mga 80% match. Hahahaha. Apart from that, her parents asked me to look after her talaga in the light of mental health awareness and alagwa. Natawa nga ako kasi very bad example ako pero sabi nung parents niya, since I’ve been there, done that, I can guide her better. Jusq. Every time we have deep dives, I am as honest, as cutting pero laging may caveat and bwelo. Parang kinakausap ko lang younger shit self ko. LOL.  She is on her way to med school na rin and a possible sosyo sa small biz niya involving the arts as a Gen Z. HAHAHAHHA. Patulan na natin para mas mabantayan ko from a safe distance.  Since mental health mom mode ako kay B, I won’t be sharing the tidbits kasi, baka mabuking mga katarantaduhan ko nung bata pa ako. HAHAHAHAHA. Shet, taguan na naman ng feelings pala; but syempre, tinatatwid pa niya and it’s not my story to tell.  My proudest mom moment with her is when she tells me her small and big wins. And also, when she looked after ina nung ‘di na talaga kaya ng sched at aging katawang lupa ko na magbalik-balik sa far side ng Laguna and Manila. Nagulat ako kasi sabi ko, she might spiral. She told me, kaya niya and that she wanted to. Grabe, mhie! Parang kinilig uterus ko kahit hindi ko siya niluwal. Hahahahaha. She is also getting better in interacting with people! Opakkkk. Love. Love. Love. Onting hilot pa, pakak na ‘to. Bawasan lang niya kasungitan niya, tapos ‘yung RBF at side-eye emoji, na default niya, tone down niya rin. See? Parang kausap ko lang sarili ko, right?  Also, looking after B is allowing me to face my then shits kahit ayoko talaga. She gives me the chance to look back at the dark times and how I’ve inched my way to see candy colored skies. Usto mo yarn? Hahahahaha. Che. B, ilang beses ko namang sinabi sa’yo, don’t be like ate. ‘Wag mo nga daanan ang masukal na dinaan ko kasi andito lang ako para bigyan ka ng Venn Diagrams para sa RPG IRL game mo. :D Lels. You are doing a good job and will be better sooner than later. ‘Wag ka mainip. ‘Wag kang masyadong mag-madali. Everyone has their timeline. And it’s okay to be okay in the same manner that it’s ok not to be ok, ok?  Thank u, next!  ______

And nooooww, down to the last 2! Z muna tayo. Z is my single mom friend’s anak. Eto na naman po tayo sa era ng PBB Teens kagulo. I was probably the first one to know about zygote Z outside her mom’s family. ‘Di po kami mag-jowa ng nanay neto e. Saktong landian lang na ‘di talaga ubra kasi ‘di kami talo. Hahahahahaha. Maarte kami masyado pareho. Anyhow, Z is my test of faith in singlemom-hood kasi ‘yung friend ko nag-literal grow up and shape up when Z entered the picture. E mas gago pa ‘to sa akin in soooo many levels. LOL.  Z also looks a lot like her biological dad so test of true love and acceptance talaga every time I see her and carry her. And just recently, Z came out as bisexual. Mana sa akin noong 200X. Hahahaha. Soon, convert ko na ‘to maging pansexual. CHZ. The mom reached out and asked ano raw ba gagawin niya sa big boobies ni Z. Sabi ko naman, simple lang ‘yan. Don’t just tolerate. Accept her and her pronouns. So, they/them na siya now. Pak. Progressive.  They are proudly wearing binders na top-class, too. I saw Z morph to a confident queer person and though we barely talk to each other, may updates siya parati about Harry Potter that we didn’t force on them. HUHUHUHUHU. Proud almost mom moment ako diyan. LELS. And they are attuned with the old world, too.  At times, sabi nga namin nung mom niya, anak ko si Z. Their taste are much like mine. And they thought I was a content creator kasi I looked like one daw (discrimination ‘tong batang ‘to. Stereotyping me.) and that they wanted to be a content creator herself during their toddler to pre-teen years. LOL. Sabi ko naman, tigilan niya ‘yun pero if gusto niya, support ko pa rin siya. One of our besties moments ni Z is about Guava Juicebox. Hahahahaha. Tagal na neto pero ang laki ng mata niya when were bonding over Lego and their handmade Bing Bong plush toy I got her during one of her visits here in Pinas. Hirap nung pronouns, mhie. Sobrang postmodern times na talaga. I don’t want to complicate but sige, patulan natin for Z. Z, may you be as queer as you want to be. Mommy mo, masyadong old age ang mindset. Jusq. Akong bahala sa’yo sa mga trip mong safe and saktong not so safe. :D Bahala mommy mo jan maging uugod-ugod sa parenting skills. Hahahaha.  _______  And then, there is A. My beautiful mess. I am co-parenting this girl since adopted only daughter ako sa household ng best friend ko. A came unexpected ng best friend kong noon ay walang hangad kung ‘di maging bachelor with his Jap obsessions. Kagigil. But, when we got A, things turned upside down. Bonding namin now with his wife is anything A. Hindi rin lumabas sa akin si A para super clear. Ayaw natin ng fake news.  I remember when A was a baby, I noticed that she is not able to make eye contact. Kakabasa ng mga stuff about babies since ‘yung best friend ko as a father na pa-macho era pa then.  Later, we got the news na A is in the spectrum nga. My best friend said na alam naman daw niya as a geek and hyperfocus lagi sa details but he wanted an offical confirmation. Raising A even when extra parent lang ako and super duper love A’s mom kasi ang galing niya. Busilak. Bullied kami ng best friend ko pero sobrang hands down na maalaga at may malasakit.  A is a work in progress. She is teaching me to let go and appreciate realities as they come and go. Siguro, toughest stuff ko to down about her is that she knows two emotions: OK lang and frustration. Nothing in between. Sigh. Let’s see how this pans out. Off to visit her this long break. Dalaga na siya. Nyeknyek shorts na and tank tops gusto. Aynakooo. Bawal. CHZ. _______  Last na ‘to. E, my dreamy Korean baby na ayaw kong kargahin kaso since sad si K, E’s dad, wala e. I gave in. Ambango niya lagi. Baby scent plus cutie baby siya talaga, as in. Vibin’ din kami surprisingly kahit ang galing niyang magpa-eme. Antaba ng tears ‘pag may gusto tapos stariray. Hahahahahaha.  E is K’s then fiance’s surprise to T sa wedding day nila mismo. Nauna kasi wedding nila na sila lang 2 sa office ng priest nung lockdown and after a year, the church wedding took place, finally. Wala pa kaming bonding moments masyado kasi gagawin ko siyang gala, pero since a few cells pa lang siya, kilala ko na siya. Then, maarte parents, may pa-gender reveal shit pa. Then ako pa host neto sa binyag. :D Utusan na naman ang peg. Hindi na pala mom. Chz. But, E, thank you for making me witness love at its purest. That love takes time and is all about choosing to stay even when it’s easier to go away. Ems. Kwento naman sa’yo ‘to for sure ng eme mong dad, but, bilisan mo na lumaki para makapag-roadtrip and foodtrip na tayo. Bike tayo ‘pag puwede na. Galingan mo muna matuto mag-lakad. LOL.  _______ But, wait. I am a trueblue pet mom of 3. :) My Vici, My Vidi and my KD. Will talk more about them next time kasi ubos na pake for choodaze ka-chosan. And because nakakatawa as in dry laugh mga attempts ng brand to ride this April Fools Day bandwagon. Balakayojan!  Also, goal nating ma-menopause because, why not? :D Kaya just in case you’re wondering if I’m conceiving, fake news po. Sadyang malaki lang talaga hips ko. Sighhhh.  Hanggang sa muli, paalam muna!