#the horrors of two factor authentication

[svantetic]

my dad finally gave in and got himself a smartphone so now he goes through 5 stages of grief every time he has to download an app AND make an account

[microwavesaferat]

April Fools day is a busy day in Gotham, you've got several themed rogues wanting to do something big to commemorate the day, and this year was no different. The Bats were spread so thin trying to deal with the Joker, the Riddler, Calender Man and the Penguin (unrelated to the date, he was just up to shit), that they never got around to any fun sibling pranks. So Stephanie has taken it upon herself to reschedule (not notifying the others though).

Stephanie is not cruel though, she wants to do a trick and a treat almost, one good dead to balance out each prank, so she makes a plan.

First up is Dick. She goes to their gym and applies a liberal amount of oil to every single surface she can find, before finally adding a thin coat of sticky wax to the basketballs. She watches through cameras as Dick slips off every single bar he tries to hold onto. The best is when he gets to the pummel horse and gets so much momentum that he slips off and out the open door. She and Babs then watch as, defeated, Dick tries to play a bit of basketball, only for the ball to not bounce off the floor and get stuck in the net.

She makes it up to him though, she contacted Hally's Circus (it's now under new management and touring in Florida) and managed to arrange for Zitka the Elephant to be brought over for the day. Dick cries at seeing the old elephant. Damian tries to convince Bruce to keep her.

Next on the list is Jason. In the middle of the night, with help from Cass, she dyes his white streak bright blue. He doesn't notice until he comes down for food and Dick gets excited that he's wearing Nightwing colours. He then walks around wearing his helmet all day, unaware that it says "kick me" on the back, in blue ink.

On Jason's bed, there's a VHS tape. When played, it shows the Joker's old standup work, before crime became his full gig. Jason has never laughed so hard before, not at his jokes, but at the booing. Oh my god, he bombed!

But for now, Steph moves onto Babs. Barbara has eyes everywhere, so Steph has to reach depths never before seen; she takes Jim Gordon's laptop, changes the system language to Dutch and all his passwords. Babs spends the full day trying to coach him through changing his passwords to something other than 'Barbara1' and how to use 2-factor authentication.

Barbara gets an anonymous email the next day. It's footage from a hidden camera in Jason's room. He's in a towel and singing ABBA off-key into a hairbrush. Worth it.

For Tim, Steph enlists the help of Kon. See the problem a panicked Kon brings to Tim is as follows: On a mission, Steph got hurt bad. She's woken up, but with no memory of the last 2 years. Now while this is worrying on its own, the true horror lies that, 2 years ago, Tim and Steph were dating. So now Tim has to try and let Steph down gently while his boyfriend watches on. Steph has to break character when trying to plant a kiss on him.

She makes it up to Tim. During her 'injury', Tim had brought her a Gatorade to drink, and she just happened to spill it on Kon's shirt. Guess he'll have to take it off!

Up next is Damian. She swaps his katanas with prop breakaway blades. He goes to practice only for them to shatter on impact. This is the first time Steph has seen him look so heartbroken. The best part is, he can't even threaten to cut her head off.

Forgiveness was easy, she simply opened the barn and the backdoor. Soon the manor is overrun with dogs, cats, cows, and demon-cat things. Even Zitka gets involved. Damian has spent the day in the library, practically drowning in fur and feathers.

The barn escape also serves as Alfred's prank as he has to convince Damian to let them go back to the barn.

When Steph presents him with an apron reading "Kiss the Cook Butler", he sheds a tear.

Now for Duke. This was simple enough to do: the entire family put lifts in their shoes. Duke wakes up to find that Dick, who insists he's 5'10" is taller than him. Duke was sure he was an even 6 foot, but he's now an inch or two shorter than Dick. What's worse is that Tim is the same height as him! When did that happen?????

Once Duke is sure he is not shrinking, Stephani procures a set of noise cancelling headphones. It is difficult to sleep at night when every other member of the family is nocturnal and unconcerned with making noise.

While Steph could never properly get the drop on Cass, it's the effort that counts. So she puts the squeakers from a dog toy into the toes of her ballet pumps. This takes an extra few days to be fruitful, but it is beautiful when Cass, with the grace of a swan, and the noise of a goose, leaps across the floor.

From working with Tim, Steph gifts Cass a small button that can attach to Cass's hand. A simple squeeze and the button will speak. "Idiot, stop it", a phrase too often spoken by Cass to her idiot brothers in the middle of their ill-advised plans. Now the process is streamlined. Cass takes to poking others with the button.

Now last, but not least: Bruce. Steph has been planning this, she phones up Vicki Vale for an anonymous piece. "The Truth About Bruce Wayne" is a headline that gives Bruce a heart attack. Luckily, whilst not revealing his identity, Stephanie has instead created a web of lies about how Bruce actually can't spell, can't drive a car, and is afraid of the dark. All gossip that Vicki Vale would eat up. Bruce is just glad Stephanie doesn't know about his college days.

The chaos in the house when Bruce comes home is bizarre, but having all his kids under one roof? He couldn't be happier. Even if Damian is hidden under Batcow, Jason is frantically googling how to get rid of hair dye, Dick is dangling upside down from an elephant's tusks, Babs is showing a video to Tim, who is definitely paying attention and not at all staring at a shirtless Kryptonian, and Duke and Cass are both squeezed under one set of headphones, listening to music.

In a week's time, Steph wakes up to every Bat and Bird logo drawn on her face, along with angry eyebrows and a moustache.

[mariacallous]

In many ways, I love living in the digital age. As someone who grew up in the analog world (my first journalism job, as a college intern, involved a manual typewriter and carbon paper), I am still delighted to be able to find out, within 10 seconds, whether a particular movie star is still alive or to share my latest column with the entire world through a social media post.

But the downside of digital life is driving me batty – so much so that I sometimes consider trying to go off the grid altogether to seek a less frustrating existence. I have a fantasy of this simple life that I describe as Full Bore Thoreau. It involves listening to birdsong and reading Russian novels while occasionally using a landline to maintain contact with other humans.

What has brought me to this point? Consider, as one of many examples, my recent adventures with usernames and passwords, involving E-ZPass, the device that allows you to travel through toll barriers without stopping to hand over cash. When I signed up for it many years ago, I apparently got a username and password. And I gave them my credit card information so that it could be charged when necessary.

All went well for years; I would get hard-copy statements in the mail from time to time, but never kept them around for long. I gave this arrangement no thought, until the day I got a voicemail message, claiming to be from a law firm, saying I had accrued massive E-ZPass debt.

I thought it might be a scam so decided to check my account balance, something I had never felt the need to do before. Signing in involved that original username and password. But, horrors! It turned out that my username was not my email address. I tried to retrieve it via my cellphone number or email address but only descended into concentric circles of digital hell. A phone call – old-school, I know – to customer service resulted in a demand for my account number, but in order to get that, I needed to, yes, sign on to my account. Round and round I went.

Of course, an issue like that is minor, one tiny piece of the daily puzzle that involves all the ways that we (and institutions like banks or employers) try to protect digital security. Two-factor authentication now stops us at every turn. To log in, you need to put in the code that’s just been sent to your phone, but as you go to your text messages to find it, the original question somehow has disappeared into the ether.

Those of us who do any freelance work descend to a special torture chamber that comes with registering as a “vendor” with part-time employers. This involves layers upon layers of proving your identity, submitting tax forms and navigating multilayered payment systems with weird names and byzantine processes. Not long ago, I got an email from the accounts payable department of a large media company that began with this less than promising line, including the capitalized F: “Your Form has been received and forwarded for processing.” It then directed me to the “secure onboarding portal”, where many other incomprehensible steps awaited.

All of this, I remind myself, is a result of privilege. These are the very definition of first-world problems, and I’m lucky – in a sense – to have them. But it doesn’t feel that way. Often, I wish I could step off the digital merry-go-round.

At best, such challenges help me to develop patience as I plod through the steps, ask for help when possible (often from a digital native, possibly including my son or daughter), and eventually solve the problem – as I did with the EZ-Pass puzzle.

The solution there, it turned out, was marvelously old-fashioned. I dug out a small notebook from a drawer, filled with scrawled usernames and passwords going back for years. And there the answer was, in all its inky glory. My login was successful, my account balance was fine, and I deemed it unwise to respond to the self-described lawyer.

Victorious for the moment, I moved on to the inevitable next hassle, while dreaming of fishing for my meals from the banks of Walden Pond.

[berniesrevolution]

MONEY ON THE LEFT

The Russian invasion of Ukraine in February 2022 touched a dormant but significant fault line on the left. On the one hand, much of the left was outraged by the invasion, believing it to be an illegal and genocidal land grab. On the other hand, a cadre of the left, especially in the US and the UK, took the opposing position. They blame the US for NATO’s eastward expansion for provoking Russia’s invasion to defend its “legitimate security interests.” This second group, given voice by Noam Chomsky and by the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA), has consistently demanded Ukrainian capitulation to Putin’s demands. These voices combine an economistic definition of capitalism with the offensive realist IR theory (mainly John Mearsheimer‘s) of international relations as driven by the politics of power projection. Thus, they attribute Ukrainian unwillingness to capitulate to an American capitalist Realpolitik that perpetually threatens Russian security and not as an authentic defense of their nation.

However, this argument suffers from a poverty of theory. It views the world as a mechanistic body driven solely by predetermined (capitalist) instincts and denies human agency to affect the world. It also suffers from acute ahistoricism. Mearsheimer’s formulation of an anarchic “security competition” is a tautology that self-consciously excludes factors that contradict his theories as outside the scope of international relations. He does not explain how this anarchy developed, what specific social property relations it expresses, or how those social relations evolved. Thus, while it is necessary to question NATO’s continued relevance in the 21st century, the critiques by Chomsky and the DSA rely on a theory of international relations that is divorced from the material realities of the actual historical process. A leftist IR theory must be firmly rooted in the specificities of history and must account for the development of the social relations buttressing the international order. If Western capitalism is to be blamed for the war, then capitalism should be defined. The theory must also understand the evolution of internationalism as a complex and sometimes contradictory ideology, which implies a complete understanding of its revolutionary origins. Finally, a left IR theory must consider how militant worker action impacts the creation of world systems and their tensions.

The Head and the Heart

The DSA position is that the US is uniformly responsible for capitalist expansion and exploitation. It is easy to dismiss this as typical left-reactionary anti-Americanism, but this proposition is critical to DSA’s analysis of capitalism. For example, its original NATO statement argues that provocation from NATO’s expansion is the sole reason for Russia’s militarization. The International Committee’s opening statement proceeds from the organization’s 2021 platform, which states “DSA operates in the heart of a global capitalist empire” and later says, “as socialists living in the heart of the American empire.” The conflation of the US with the totality of an empire of Capital suggests that they view the two as indistinguishable. It is not just a rhetorical posture; it is a philosophical disposition.

From a moral standpoint, the DSA statement is correct. As the sole remaining superpower, the US is responsible for many atrocities and horrors, disproportionately targeting people of color and developing nations. These horrors have been committed – sometimes justified – as necessary actions to spread democratic values, protect human rights, and above all, capitalist social relations. The DSA is right to call out these hypocrisies, and they stand on firm moral ground. However, as a critique of the current imperial order and an analysis of the specific social relations that comprise the existing order, they present a reductive and mechanistic theory of history that ultimately undermines their moral capital.

Consider DSA’s description of an individual’s relationship to the system of Capital. The system is a body, the US, the body’s heart. Humans living “within the heart” are individualistic cells encoded by DNA for specific functions. Cells have no agency – they can only do what they were programmed to do. A single cell cannot change the direction the body moves and does not exist apart from the body. The body is intrinsic to the cell’s identity and existence. Not only do people have agency that goes beyond the orchestrations of a univocal political “body”, but this agency is social and linked to other relations of affiliation and dependence.

(Continue Reading)

[mrporg]

I have loved Lovecraft's novels for a very long time. It is only "recently" (a few years ago) than I have learnt that he was not a very nice fellow, to put it midly.

However, irrespective of his many faults, you can't deny that he had a way with words. He could, in a sentence or two, inspire true cosmic horror. Here are some of my favourite quotes:

"Great holes secretly are digged where earth's pores ought to suffice, and things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl." (The Festival)

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die." (The Nameless City)

"The moon is dark, and the gods dance in the night; there is terror in the sky, for upon the moon hath sunk an eclipse foretold in no books of men or of earth's gods." (The Other Gods)

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of the infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far." (The Call of Cthulhu)

"The Old Ones were, the Old Ones are, and the Old Ones shall be. Not in the spaces we know, but between them. They walk serene and primal, undimensioned and to us unseen". (The Dunwich Horror)

"When the stars were right, They could plunge from world to world through the sky; but when the stars were wrong, They could not live. But although They no longer lived, They would never really die." (The Call of Cthulhu)

"I shall never sleep calmly again when I think of the horrors that lurk ceaselessly behind life in time and in space, and of those unhallowed blasphemies from elder stars which dream beneath the sea, known and favoured by a nightmare cult ready and eager to loose them upon the world whenever another earthquake shall heave their monstrous stone city again to the sun and air." (The Call of Cthulhu)

"It is absolutely necessary, for the peace and safety of mankind, that some of earth's dark, dead corners and unplumbed depths be left alone; lest sleeping abnormalities wake to resurgent life, and blasphemously surviving nightmares squirm and splash out of their black lairs to newer and wider conquests." (At the Mountains of Madness)

--

And it's not from Lovecraft, but here's an extract I really love from the The Laundry Files, a modern revisiting of the Mythos set in Britain.

It is 2314 hours BST on a Saturday night in London when the Duty Officer’s phone terminal displays the message. The Duty Officer tonight is, as usual, sitting alone in the Duty Office in one of the decontaminated wings on the second floor of the New Annex. First he checks the origin of the message and verifies the caller ID by hand from the official (printed, top secret) departmental phone book. This takes him approximately thirty seconds. Having authenticated the sender, he then looks up a second number. Then he picks up the telephone handset and calls it. [Ed. a chain of calls later…] In an aircraft hangar at Filton, not far from the Bristol Channel, a phone that should never ring begins to buzz in the ready room office, causing a man who wears a blue uniform to break into a cold sweat as he picks up the handset. He frowns intently as he notes the call in a logbook, pen clenched between white fingertips, not once looking at the sleek white shape that fills the hangar floor beyond his office window. If he did, he’d see a sudden burst of movement as the engineers on the night shift begin the ground prep checklists for a mission that should never fly.

(The Nightmare Stacks, Charles Stross)

I find the ideas of a phone that should never ring and a mission that should never fly to be truly terrifying.

There's something to be said about horrors which are so beyond anything we could conceive of, that humanity's best efforts and weapons might be completely powerless against them. When you factor in that these entities have no more consideration for us than what we have for bacteria… it just makes my head spin.

[haleviyah]

What do you think of The Passion of the Christ as a movie?

Forgive me if I dive into my inner filmography geek here but I just came back from hearing a recent interview of Jim Caviezel covering his next film coming out in July, and I have to give my two cents:

Looking back as a pre-grad film student I'll give a list:

What I like:

Authenticity

If there is anything Mel is good at is the factor of authenticity in a film. Every film from "The Patriot" to "Apocalypto" he does his homework, which I will give credit for. Not a lot of directors do that these days - they rather insert social norms or social justice where they don't belong for money and cheating the audience out of learning a real life lesson.

2. Cinematography

I'll be honest the cinematography did a great job with shots and color schemes to set the mood fairly well. Despite the fact these guys had to redo SO MANY scenes due to threat of an "NC-17" rating, it was done well even though there are some hiccups here and there in the editing. That shows the crew did alright under pressure, not perfect but alright.

3. Cultural emphasis

Despite the film didn't nail it quite yet because of religious doctrine, the film did emphasize the fact that "this is a different time, different language, and different zeitgeist". ; nothing the modern church can interpret via doctrines and solely pulpit even if it tried.

4. Wardrobe

You can tell these guys took some notes from "Gladiator" because - Damn, they nailed the costumes pretty good!

Now for what I'd rebuke the team for:

This is where Jim and I are going to bonk heads a bit, and you know what that's okay. Different perspectives are the spice of life... Mel on the other hand... someone might come out with a concussion... might.

Anti-semitism

Not to be fair here, despite the arguments that the film isn't anti-semitic keep in mind the Jews portrayed in the film aside from Yeshua and his network were not given the time of day to explain themselves and were expressed in almost "cartoonish" dimensions (I blame both doctrines and editing for that).

The Pharisees and Sadducees as always portrayed as bitter and harshly divided because of "Yeshua breathing air". Personally, as someone who has studied the First Century Judaic culture, that is far from the truth! According to historical records (and my handy-dandy Ashkenazi study book - its a wedding gift) Pharisees were every communal, philanthropists, and open, whereas Sadducees were very busy-body but politics breathing down their neck. Both sects had the best intentions at heart but stress was no stranger and stumbling was not a sin but rather growth.

It's also against Leviticus 19 for Jews to hate each other. Even if you have staunch opinions politically, socially or even religiously speaking or even if you are an American Jew or an Israeli Jew, wishing ill upon your fellow Jew is beyond inexcusable.

So to say that Sadducees and Pharisees hated the Rebbe of Nazareth would be a grossly absurd misinterpretation. I vowed to not give too much info, but the best way I can interpret it was their worry for Yehoshua's well-being in those last moments bled into frustration over his stubbornness getting the better of him before he died. The actual turn of events is still hard for me to stomach so I'll just move on...

2. Yeshua's Arc

Before you choke me, I understand this is his last 24 hours and we only see a "itty-bitty-bit" of his life as it's flashing before his eyes. I get that! On the contrary, it's obvious that the character design of Yeshua is conflicting with himself: the church version of him vs. the historical Rebbe. I understand Mel is trying to be authentic, but him trying to tie the religious Jesus to R. Yehoshua Bar Yosef of Nazareth is like giving an amputee a prosthetic arm donated from marble statue. It's not going to work and both the person and the statue are going to irreparable to everyone's horror. I suppose the word I'm looking for is "Identity crisis". Not between Yeshua choosing integrity over selfishness, but rather Christian Jesus vs. Jewish Yehoshua... There were moments where I was struggling to understand who had the spotlight in Mel's eyes: the icon or the person.

Yes, the film expressed his loving and compassionate side enough and I appreciate that, but if we saw more of that inner combat he was dealing with (which would have worked swell represented by the Pharisees trying to look out for him, telling him 'you don't have to do this') it would have executed that relatable inner-battle better.

(I once again, blame editing and lack of resources...)

3. Side Characters.

There were some side characters that were not there historically speaking such as Veronica. Knowing the Jewish community if there is anything they are "anal" about its keeping track of everyone. This practice later became known as "taglit" which was a procedure done by tracing family documents to ensure if someone was truly Jewish or not, and to ensure if they had family they could reconnect with. We see a demonstration of "taglit" in the book of Matthew where he explains Yehoshua's genealogy. However, this was 2002 - 2004 and the Jewish community were not going to share whatever with some Aussie Catholic who is notorious for his temper. So I'll cut a little slack there (hell, it took me a while to crack the shell). Regardless of the grey area here, it comes off bit hypocritical to insert Catholic icons who probably never existed/folk legends (like the Lady of Guadalupe) when the director's philosophy is literally "authenticity".

In short TL;DR:

The film is groundbreaking in one or two ways, however I believe that was the peak of Christian/Catholic cinema. There is nothing the West can produce that will top it ever even if it divorced religion and try to understand Jewish culture in a very "Scott bros" fashion. Hell, the film PoC has been followed poorly by "The Bible Series" and "The Chosen"; both series' made it their obligated mission to try and beat the film at its own game or make it more Christian to appeal the audience without - again - JEWISH INPUT.

I watched the film PoC when I was 16, and sure it shook me a bit for newbie to the Christian faith, but now I am mature a decade later it doesn't hit me hard as much. I'll be honest my mind travels to what I have learned rather than what the film is telling me, none of which is bad. I just see it as two different movements in a music piece - PoC was the heroic overture and I am now at the somber ballad - different keys, different time signature but two sides of the same story.

To wrap it up I will end it with this: It's weird and sobering when you hear a man twice your age speak in the same language like you did during your comeuppance decade ago. I still debate wether it's a good or bad thing to see the youth beat the elder to the punchline...

[acarustudentblog]

CGI 3D Character Model Weeks 7-12

For my character design I wanted to make a mascot horror character. Mascot horror is a subcategory of horror used to describe media that takes things found in your childhood and turns them into monsters. The most well-known mascot horror games and movies are Scott Cawthon’s “Five Nights at Freddy’s” and Mob Entertainment’s Poppy Playtime which take 80s toys and children’s entertainment animatronics and turn them into moving coffins and living creatures that are out to kill you.

For this character design, I would have to use sharper shapes while still making the character feel childish enough to originate from children’s media. I also had to consider my own abilities using Maya. I have an ambitious idea for what I want to make but if I make it too realistic then it would be a lot more difficult to create. I considered making them into someone wearing a freaky mascot suit instead of just a monster or making them into an animatronic with a cleaner suit so that I wouldn’t have to worry about textures as much as I would have if I made them grotesque and fleshy.

The intended audience for this type of game ranges quite a lot but its usually adults around the age 20-30 that regularly enjoy the games and since the entire horror factor is based around nostalgia and analogue technology, I should focus my design references off mascots from the 1990s to early 2010s. The character’s role would be to scare the audience, but it would originally be based on an actual cartoon character. I will make two separate mood boards and mind maps for both the cartoon and the real thing to make the character feel as authentic as possible.

I made a mind map and mood board of my character. I decided to make them a cartoon bull who already showed signs of leadership and bossiness in his original design but becomes full violent and dominating when he is turned into a monster. His connection with food makes him gross and gluttonous while still sticking to his cartoon roots enough to look less fleshy even with his human hands and large bulky teeth. He is presented as strong and powerful, and no one gets in his way. He is the main character of his cartoon after all, so he is the most important.

I based his design around a type of fruit to fit with the childish theme and to give him and his world a bit of context. I used a strawberry since they're red and commonly associated with childhood and goodness. I wanted to give him a green jacket to give him more green highlights but I didn't want to give him too much detail since children's characters are usually very simple. If I have time I will go back and see if the jacket is better on him but he still has yet to be turned creepy and I feel the detail on him when I redesign him this way may become obscured by the clothes. He's a cartoon bull so not having cloths isn't too horrendous.

I also gave him a sharper and square shaped head and body to make him look older and grumpier so that his attitude and bossiness was visible. I wanted to base his cartoon personality on Francesca Simon's Horrid Henry where his personality is mean and cruel but it would have been played to show that his actions are wrong for the kids to learn from his mistakes.

For his darker form, I used the strawberry theme to make him really ugly. Like a mouldy strawberry I made his body become bulky and falling apart with his underlayer looking more fleshy and bloody like a real person's insides. I gave him spots and gaps in his skin with buboes and lumps coming out of him to make him look grotesque and gluttonous to play into his previous motifs and I made him feel weirdly human for a cartoon bull with realistic bones and teeth.

Once I had the designs down I put the texture into Maya and used it to model my character around. First I made the base by placing cubes in place of each main limb. Then me modelled them into the shape of the character by moving the vertexes and lines to match the character sheet I placed behind it.

However since all the pieces were detached from each other and I had messily made the topology for the base to get the shape right, I had to recreate the topology by individually placing the square faces to make sure there were no Ngons.

Having not much experience in this department I didn't know how to properly remodel him so I admit the topology was still very messy, this was mainly because of the amount of spots and details on his front which now having experience, I have realised the ways I could have designed him (and will redesign him in future) that would lower the amount of faces as well as make the model better suited for animation.

I also feel this issue with the topology lead to my next main issue in the process of making the model. When I was ready to texture my model I loaded up Adobe Substance Painter, but when I tried to load his body into the software it wouldn't work.

Because it wasn't working i tried colouring it in in blender but the model wouldn't pick up the colours properly. I understand I did something wrong but I'm not entirely sure why it wouldn't work. In the end due to neither working, I decided to split each part of the model up and block coloured them so that I could export the texture and colour it in manually on a 2D software, using the blocked colours as a template for where I should colour and import it back into blender with the correct colours and textures.

I think I know what went wrong but I cant be too sure, either way even if it took a bit longer I think it turned out perfectly fine. I could definitely do the topology better now with the knowledge I've gained through practical work but for a first attempt and with not enough time to try again for this project I'd say it's very good and I'm very proud of it. One of the few projects I've made that I feel genuinely proud of! I'll try and get better practice for next time though.

[saurabhshinde16]

Let me tell you a little story its not about finance or banking, but about peace of mind.

A few years ago, I used to fear banking. Queues, paperwork, waiting for tokens at the branch—it all felt like such a chore. That changed when I became a COSMOS Bank customer. What started as a regular savings account soon became a genuine partnership, thanks to their thoughtful and easy-to-use digital banking services & their COMO Gen Z app.

As someone who’s not exactly a tech genius, I was skeptical at first. Could I really manage all my finances online without messing something up? But COSMOS made it feel less like technology, and more like talking to a helpful friend.

Getting Started Was Surprisingly Easy

I remember downloading the COSMO Gen Z mobile app for the first time. It was smooth. I was guided step-by-step—from setting up my MPIN to linking my account. I didn’t need to call anyone or go to a branch. And the best part? I never felt lost or overwhelmed.

Since then, I’ve been doing almost everything through the app: checking balances, transferring money, paying my electricity bill, and even opening a fixed deposit scheme. I don’t even remember the last time I stood in a queue.

What I Love Most: Security Without the Stress

One of my biggest fears was online fraud. You hear so many horror stories these days, right? But COSMOS has built their platform with real people in mind. Two-factor authentication, transaction alerts, and strong encryption make every move feel safe. And yes, they regularly remind us of digital hygiene—like changing passwords and avoiding public Wi-Fi.

They even have a simple rule I follow religiously: COSMOS Bank never asks for your password or OTP. If someone does, it’s a scam. That one line has saved me from being fooled more than once.

A Human Touch in a Digital World

What makes COSMOS special, though, is that it doesn’t feel robotic. Last year, I had an issue with a failed UPI transaction late at night. I dropped a message through the app’s support option expecting a reply the next morning—but to my surprise, someone actually responded within minutes. They solved the issue, and even followed up the next day to make sure everything was alright.

That personal care? You don’t find it often in the digital world.

Why I Recommend COSMOS to Everyone I Know

Whether it’s my parents who’ve just started using NetBanking or my college-going cousin who lives on UPI, I always tell them: Start with COSMOS. It’s intuitive, it's secure, and it genuinely feels like your money is in good hands.

So yes, digital banking doesn’t have to be complicated or scary. For me, it’s been a gateway to more control, more clarity, and a whole lot more comfort.

Thanks to COSMOS Bank, banking now fits into my life—instead of the other way around.

[soma-prime-incarnon]

two-sentence horror:

For your safety, this ATM uses two-factor authentication. Please scan the QR code using our mobile app to complete your withdrawal.

[classhorrorblog]

Oren Peli - Director of Paranormal Activity

This week we’re talking about a director who makes found footage horror movies: Oren Peli. Oren Peli’s involvement in the film industry includes directing, producing, and screen writing. He is most well-known for his work in the Paranormal Activity series, but other found footage works include Area 51 (2015) and the tv series The River (2012). Before his first movie, Paranormal Activity, Peli was a software programmer.

Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity was what really set off Oren Peli’s career in film. Like many found footage horror movies, it was one with a small team and a micro-budget. Despite that, it became a greater hit than expected. In the interview below, Peli talks about how Paranormal Activity came to be and his thoughts on the process:

Peli says here that he originally had thought about how people don’t know what happens while they sleep, and how scary it would be to find strange things happening if a video camera was set up while you slept. During the process of making the film, Peli wanted it to feel as authentic as possible, shooting with a home video camera and relying on improvisation.

In a review of the movie (linked down below), Roger Ebert, film critic, praises Paranormal activity as “an ingenious little horror film, so well made it's truly scary, that arrives claiming it's the real thing”. He also goes on to comment on the horror factor and believability of the events that we see happen throughout: “That they seem to happen by themselves, witnessed by a static camera, makes them eerie, especially since there are some shots that seem impossible without special effects, and there's no visible evidence of f/x, looking as closely as we can”.

You should also check out the article below from Mashable that talks more about Paranormal Activity and Oren Peli in relational to the found footage genre as a whole. Overall, it praises Oren Peli's use of found footage techniques to create horror in Paranormal Activity.

Other Works

Putting aside Peli’s greatest hit, though, he has been involved in a number of other horror films, though not all are found footage of course (not all were quite as successful either). As mentioned before, his other two forays into found footage are Area 51 and the tv series The River. The River got moderate reviews, with a 63% on Rotton Tomatoes, but was cancelled after one season.

As for Area 51, after its long-awaited release it ended up being a disappointment. A review of the movie from The Hollywood Reporter (linked below) describes is as “Tedious, visually unsatisfying, poorly acted and narratively disjointed… a textbook example of directorial sophomore slump”. Lacking in the “imagination and stylistic flair” that was expected of Peli after his previous work, THR says the film seems to hit every cliché of the genre.

[coliearellano]

Becoming Filipino: Production as the Script Writer

In my role in the production of "Becoming Filipino," I undertook the crucial responsibility of crafting the script and storyboard, pivotal elements of the pre-production process for our web series. Despite my experience in the realm of storytelling (encompassing short stories and screenplays), venturing into the horror genre, particularly analog horror, was an entirely novel and uncharted territory for me. This creative journey, marked by its unique challenges and fresh perspectives, proved to be an enlightening and transformative experience.

To embark on this creative endeavor, I embarked on an extensive research journey, delving into various horror genres and the sub-genre of analog horror, all in pursuit of inspiration for our script. I also explored a diverse array of videos, ranging from personal narratives to thought-provoking social commentary and scientific storytelling, all with the aim of enriching the content and thematic depth of our series. In the following sections, I will delve into the intricacies of the scripts and storytelling approaches I employed in each of the Public Service Announcement (PSA) episodes, where I dissected complex issues while maintaining an eerie atmosphere.

PSA 1 "Me and You". As the creative mind behind this segment, I meticulously crafted the script and developed a two-column script for the storyboard. This particular PSA adopts a scientific approach, delving into the demographic and socio-economic facets of being a Filipino in the contemporary age. Drawing inspiration from TEDTalks, I meticulously integrated various statistical data about the Philippines, factoring in critical elements such as gender and social status from reliable sources. In this inaugural episode, my intention was to introduce the concept of a government-established service for issuing IDs. The initial phase was designed to serve as an eye-opener, shedding light on the challenging realities faced in the Philippines. It aimed to unsettle the audience through the presentation of stark content. Despite the facade and deceptive elements, I strived to maintain an undercurrent of normalcy, with the actual content, truth, and harsh realities serving as the unsettling and thought-provoking components.

PSA 2 "Behind the Smile (is the Struggle)". In the second PSA, I played a critical role in creating the two-column script for the storyboard. The original script, authored by Booc, was already comprehensive and meticulously crafted, which minimized the extent of additional writing required. My primary focus in the two-column script was to enrich the visual and auditory aspects of the narrative. This segment was centered on unearthing genuine horror through the incorporation of found footage, thereby building upon the established storyline.

PSA 3 "Why are you Filipino?". For the third and final PSA, I assumed responsibility for both scripting and developing the two-column script for the storyboard. Our overarching objective was to stimulate viewers to engage in a profound exploration of their own identities within the context of a perplexing and fragmented society. By satirizing the authentic process of acquiring a government-issued ID, the third video was meticulously designed as the "ultimate step," intended to evoke contemplation about the viewers' true selves and their stance in relation to the Philippines. This segment aimed to vividly depict and sensitize the viewers to the mental turmoil and perplexity they might encounter. It delved deeply into profound themes of identity and allegiance, raising poignant questions about whether one would stand up for their nation or choose a different path. The visual and sensory elements played a pivotal role in conveying the mind-bending experience, underscoring the complexity of the narrative.

Our production journey seamlessly weaved together the digital storytelling techniques of our web series with the unique nuances of analog horror. This collaborative venture was born from a shared aspiration to challenge existing perceptions, incite introspection, and encourage viewers to explore the intricacies of their own identities within the backdrop of a multifaceted society. "Becoming Filipino" is more than a series; it is a testament to the remarkable power of storytelling in conveying profound societal truths and kindling meaningful dialogue.

[loveatfirstwriteblog]

A Complete Analysis of Harry Potter

Like a lot of kids, we probably grew up on Harry potter. We were obsessed and rightly so. The universe created in the world of Harry Potter was, and is, a hugely successful one because of the fact it gave kids a world where magic exists! It seemed to be a great world to live in and it made even better with the fact that it included elements of empowerment, Whether it be showing girls can be just as successful if not more in various pursuits(Hermione), or the fact that even if you have a history of bad events, you can have a good heart(Hagrid), Harry Potter teaches us a lot.

JKR has written a mind-blowing plot in a world of magic, wizards, witches, wands, potions, friendship, love. Our inner-five-year olds--and actually most of our young adult selves too--jumps around excitedly at the beautifully penned words that creates an exit out of this world and into one where magic does exist. 

As you get older, though, you begin to think of Harry Potter in a more critical fashion. The thought of “oh my god, it’s magic” no longer completely overrides my mind, but more of “but what are the laws regarding this? Can people just do this whenever they want? Are there no ethics?” 

No matter how much we’re going to expose the flaws and plot holes in HP now, we’ll always love the books--we grew up on them! But some things just niggle you as you get older, and that’s what we’re going to be focusing on in this post.

Something I adore about the HP books is that everyone, including the “good guys”, has flaws. Harry has a “save the world alone, do first, think later” complex, a driving force that makes him go save Sirius, Ron is very, very insecure to a point where he ditches Harry twice, probably when Harry needed him the most, Hermione is a judgemental, narrow-minded nag (her thoughts on Luna, divination, Trelawney, basically anything that doesn’t fit her black and white world), Molly Weasley is misogynistic and blatantly favourites her children—probably being one of the main factors behind Ron’s insecurities, Arthur is condescending towards Muggles and makes several comments you cringe at while reading the books as a young adult/adult, Sirius, Snape, and Lupin still haven’t let go of their childhood grudges and hatred, etc etc etc. 

These flaws are what make these characters so three-dimensional, so layered, so human. But the problem was, most of these flaws are never intentionally acknowledged. And honestly, that could have been such a good character arc, because the main characters are mostly students. No student is the same through their teenage years—they change, they evolve, they get over their flaws, they try to better themselves. I would have loved to see Ron becoming his own person, Hermione opening her mind up a little, etc. 

Neville is not one of my favourites, but I love his growth and development, from someone who was scared of his potions professor to a man who faced down Lord Voldemort. Ginny Weasley could have had character development, from the trauma she went through in second year, but that was never written in.  She went through this terrifying ordeal when she was only twelve years old, and jump to a year or two later and she’s absolutely fine, with no transition from her trauma whatsoever.

Some of JKR’s characters are brilliantly written and fleshed out, but some of her others lack the structure and complexity that usually comes with being vital to the plot—Ginny Weasley for one. Her internalised misogyny also plays a huge part in the way her female characters are written. We see this again in the case of how she wrote the character of Ginny. 

Ginny Weasley is not a favourite of ours (if you don’t know that by now). She feels a lot like a convenient male daydream—when she waits for Harry to notice her by dating other guys, gets annoyed by Hermione “not knowing quidditch”, etc etc—and fits the “not like other girls” archetype too much, almost like she was made for it (hint hint). She’s portrayed to be strong-willed, spunky, and independent, and I love the idea, but I really don’t see it. To me, she’s a very shallow character, the least fleshed out one. 

Just like James Potter wasn’t necessarily redeemed just because JKR said he was, and Ginny isn’t interesting just because JKR writes that she is. 

Hermione also fits the archetype, but she’s JKR’s self-insert, so we really can’t say much about that. 

To make things worse, Ginny and Hermione are pitted against each other in a very subtle way. Ginny is the sporty, pretty, flirty girl who’s never single from book 4. Hermione is the not-conventionally-attractive, nerdy girl who’s had a few dates here and there but never a relationship. They’re very different characters (the only thing they have in common is the archetype) but they’re against each other in the defence of Harry. 

Another place where JKR’s misogyny shows up is the way other girls are written. Lavender Brown is shown as vapid and immature, just because she likes clothes and boys and didn’t know how to handle her first relationship. Cho Chang is perceived as shallow because she’s emotional. Pansy Parkinson is seen to be throwing herself at Draco Malfoy. The Weasleys hated Fleur because she was beautiful and sexy and French, and that was ever really resolved in the end (Molly accepted her, but we never got Ginny’s and Hermione’s opinions again). You see where we’re getting at? The typical “girly girls” are portrayed as insipid, shallow, emotional, and boring, while girls like Hermione and Ginny are seen to be fun and multilayered. 

The problems with Harry Potter don’t just stop with non-fleshed out characters. There are plot devices that go unacknowledged, issues like blood purity—which is the basis of Voldemort’s tyranny—are never really resolved, huge Chekhov’s guns that aren’t fired. 

A common misconception, which if cleared up could probably expose a load of problems in wizarding society by itself, is that the wizarding world is racist. It’s not racist. Muggles and Muggleborns are not a different race, they’re a different class, at least according to pureblood wizards. Mudblood is a classist insult (a direct reference to nobility blueblood and aristocracy).

Another factor that wasn’t talked about but made the HP world so complex and realistic is the inherent classism in every single pureblooded wizard, including the Weasleys.

 The “Light” wizards all operate on the notion “at least I don’t kill or torture Muggles”. The Weasleys refuse to talk about Molly’s squib cousin who’s an accountant, the Longbottoms were so desperate for Neville to not be a squib they nearly killed him trying to force magic out of him, Ron makes fun of Filch for being a squib, thinks house-elves are beneath him, and confounds his driving instructor in his mid-thirties, the ministry workers kept obliviating that muggle at the quidditch World Cup, etc. 

This could have been a metaphor for how small prejudices and microaggressions (kind of the wizarding equivalent of white privilege) enable discrimination and murder, if JKR had actually acknowledged it. 

The parallel to Nazi Germany is very twisted and definitely shouldn’t be taken too far, but the Nazi ideology grew on the basis of everyday antisemitism, “that’s not that bad” little things. Voldemort’s circle and army grew because the wizard superiority complex festered and blew up in some people, egged on by a deeply classist society. 

Ultimately, Harry Potter has very, very shoddy worldbuilding, the kind of worldbuilding that’s obsessed with answering the “what” of the wizarding world, rather than the “how” or the “why”, which is strange, considering that fantasy or dystopian-era novels’ driving plots and conflicts are usually answering the questions the worldbuilding raises--The Hunger Games and The Shadowhunter Chronicles are two of the best examples of brilliantly written YA fantasy and dystopian novels. 

In HP, however, the main plot just avoids the questions the worldbuilding brings up like the bubonic plague. 

Voldemort’s agenda is built on prejudice towards Muggles and Muggleborns, but the plot just validates the negative perception of them—at the end of the day, being a wizard is what’s special. The Statute of Secrecy is the foundation of the main concept—blood supremacists believe wizards shouldn’t be hidden away—but only vague, barely-there answers are given to why it exists (a Chekhov’s gun that was never fired). 

There are love potions that function like date rape drugs (even Harry was given one by a girl who wanted him to ask her out), potions that force people to tell the truth, potions that literally let you disguise yourself as another person, but the ethics are never talked about, and the laws are so lax that three twelve-year-olds broke them and were never caught. 

But at the same time, the worldbuilding is so authentic, because it transforms the wizarding world into straight-up fridge horror. The everyday horrors are just accepted and rolled with. A corrupt government, constant obliviation of Muggles, slavery that isn’t even talked about. These things aren’t obvious to us as readers, or to the wizards as characters, because they match up to the real world, which is filled with things that are horrifying if you dig deeper. The multiple, normalised forms of abuse, police brutality, the violence in prisons that nothing is done about, the glaringly obvious cultural problems we have with consent, etc. 

The abusive authoritative figures in HP, like Rufus Scrimgeour, Cornelius Fudge, Dumbledore, Umbridge, etc, are so authentic because real-life politicians and people in high places of power behave that way, and their abuse is excused. 

The wizarding world is just like the real world. Corrupt, prejudiced, messed up, but if you’re privileged, or at least have certain privileges, you’re probably not going to notice. The ultimate problem is that the plot doesn’t acknowledge a lot of fridge horror things are messed up either, which is why it miserably fails. 

[okkoinu]

Hello Tumblr, this is literally me!

Here is a short story to commemorate regaining access to my Tumblr account after losing it for over three years.

It was an ordinary day, like any other. I was attempting to install a custom ROM on my Android device. (ROM is a custom "update" of the operating system, available once the manufacturer decides your device is obsolete.) To do this, I had to perform a factory reset and wipe all data in order to replace the OS.

I had two-factor authentication (2FA) enabled on several accounts at the time, including Tumblr. As I was taking precautions for my online security, I was using the Google Authenticator app. Since Android makes a backup of any Google apps and their data that you use, I assumed it would also back up my authentication codes. So, I proceeded to wipe all of the data and apps from my phone.

Horror ensued.

After booting into my device on the new OS I realised that non of the codes actually backed up as the app just did not have that functionality. 20 accounts gone. Just lost access to all of them, and one of those was — you guessed it, tumblr.

I was able to retrieve most of my accounts by using alternative verification methods, such as getting a code via SMS or email, or providing the last transaction ID. At the time of writing, Tumblr did not have backup codes or a button to use an alternative verification method. However, they have since implemented backup codes, but have not added an option to choose SMS or email instead.

I was relieved I got all of my accounts back, but tumblr was about to make my life so much more frustrating…

I visited the Tumblr website, spent 30 minutes searching for the support contact, and wrote a support ticket. I explained my situation and how I got into it, and hoped they would be able to resolve it, as other services had done for the same issue.

Here is the email I sent:

Next day tumblr contacts me with the reply…

I WAS BAFFLED, SHOCKED AND FLABBERGASTED??

I have only shared five drawings on my blog. I have never posted any private photos or selfies. The account was intended solely for art, and my avatar was a doodle that represented me. My drawings were of pots and plants.

Doug's request made no sense; it was a paradox. I couldn't send something that didn't exist. Furthermore, nobody uses Tumblr to post selfies; this isn't Instagram. What kind of nonsense is this?

I could not wrap my head around the stupidity of this request, and just how faulty it is. Making it impossible to complete for majority of tumblr’s user-base.

I tried to offer anything I could as proof, something that actually exists.

The reply I got was nothing more than a “fuck you” right in the face.

Even an AI nowdays has more understanding and can write more polite replies that offer solutions. The support team at tumblr here just gave it no though at all, completely ignoring whatever was written.

I was furious. I sent several follow up emails, explaining how fucking idiotic is what they requested of me. All of my follow up emails went to spam.

After three years of silence, after almost having given up. I decided to contact tumblr after the whole twitter fiasco.

I wrote the same message explaining the situation yet again. The reply I got this time was baffling, but surprisingly in a good way.

There you have it, no questions asked this time, it was that easy to confirm my identity. After all this time of me begging for an alternative verification method.

All it too was to create an internet wide panic on twiter beforehand.

I do want to thank tumblr support this time for taking my request seriously, even though it took them three years understand.

I am back on Tumblr again, and you'll see me share my works here as well, after years of being locked out. I wanted to write this story just to share my experience that I know many people had in the past as well.

[twistedtummies2]

Count-Down: Number 11

Welcome to Count-Down! All throughout the month of October, I’m counting down my Top 31 favorite portrayals and reimaginings of the King of the Vampires, Count Dracula! I’m surprised today’s version never got the chance to cry out, “WE’LL MEET AGAIN, SPIDER-MAN!” Number 11 is…Willem Dafoe.

From one Nosferatu reinvention into another! First of all, I promise NOT to fill this description up with Spider-Man jokes. Difficult as it will be, I will resist. XD Having said that, I should immediately state that I debated for a while whether or not I should include Willem Dafoe’s performance from the film “Shadow of the Vampire” on the Top 31 or not. This is because he doesn’t TECHNICALLY play Dracula in this movie. “Shadow of the Vampire” – produced by Nicolas Cage and directed by Marilyn Manson alumni E. Elias Merhige (dear God, the weirdness factors are going through the roof with this movie already) – is a film inspired by what at first seems like a humorous idea. Back when the classic silent feature “Nosferatu” came out, rumors and urban legends began to abound that actor Max Schreck, who played the Dracula character in the film, was actually a real vampire. This, of course, was not at all true: Max Schreck was actually a performer with a long career in movies, stretching all the way into the mid-1930s, and had a fine time onstage. Still, years later, learning of these rumors, some enterprising screenwriter came up with the idea of…what if the rumors HAD been true? What if the “actor” was, indeed, a real undead monster? While the premise of this movie at first sounds somewhat funny, and clearly quite bizarre, it’s actually relatively serious and dramatic in its execution. Dafoe plays Schreck, a vampire chosen by director F.W. Murnau to tackle the role of Count Orlok to bring some authenticity to the part. Naturally, as the movie goes on, Murnau finds it harder and harder to control Schreck and hide his true being from the rest of the cast and crew. He has to find a way to not only complete his picture, but escape from doing so alive. As a result, while there is definitely humor sprinkled throughout the movie, it mostly feels like a legitimate thriller and horror picture, and – much like Nosferatu – achieves being such in a subtle sort of way, being haunting and looming, rising in intensity then shifting into sudden violent moments that show the threat involved. Much like with “Dracula: Pages From a Virgin’s Diary” (ugh, that title will never NOT sound dumb, I swear), there’s a lot of ambiguity (to put it mildly) in terms of the morality in this story: on the one hand, Schreck is, by his own admission, a monster…but, in a more metaphorical way, so is the director, F.W. Murnau. Murnau is an artiste’s nightmare; he will sacrifice almost everyone and everything to save both himself and his art, and cares about almost nothing but the building of his own legacy. He’s the mad director to end all mad directors. As a result, while Schreck does terrible things, it’s hard to say he’s truly the villain…but you also can’t say he’s the hero. Neither of them are good: much like Dracula and Van Helsing in the aforementioned feature (which only came out two years after this movie, I should add), both Schreck and Murnau are two sides of the same scarred coin. Dafoe’s performance as Schreck earned him an Academy Award nomination, making him the single most academy-acclaimed vampire in cinematic history: other vampire movies (and Dracula-related movies, for that matter) have received nominations or even won awards, but it’s never actually been for the actor playing the main vampiric role. It’s hard to say he didn’t deserve it: I would argue this is Dafoe’s finest screen performance. Much like Klaus Kinski, the makeup/costume design and his overall performance do a brilliant job capturing the plague-rat-esque wickedness of the original 1922 demon, but the writing and direction also lends other layers, with each actor bringing something unique to the part. Dafoe, in my opinion, actually at times looks so close to identical with the real Max Schreck and his character from Nosferatu that it’s kind of disturbing. While he gets the mannerisms down, however, Dafoe really does make the role all his own. His Dracula – and I do consider him Dracula, for all intents and purposes, hence why I decided to include him here – has the same sympathetic qualities Kinski brought to the part back in 1979, focusing not on the vampire as a dark lover, but more on his isolation, loneliness, and ageless torment. He is a monster not by choice but by design, and this is a curse he must always live with. Dafoe, ironically, feels slightly more human than Kinski’s Dracula, while still managing to be INCREDIBLY unnerving and menacing in places where it is needed. Kinski’s Dracula feels like a tragic phantom; Dafoe’s Schreck is more bitter and depraved, almost like a vampire war veteran. On top of that, as you might expect with…EVERYTHING involved here, he can be legitimately funny, with many a snicker-worthy moment to his credit. At times it’s hard to tell whether the humor is intentional or not, but in this film’s case, I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. The result is arguably the single most human “Dracula” we’ve ever gotten, and how bizarre is that with the way this character looks, as well as the way this story is set up? Bottom line: yeah, I know he’s not REALLY Dracula, in the truest sense of the definition…but this is just far too fascinating a depiction to leave off my list. Tomorrow, the countdown moves into the Top 10! Hint: He probably likes his victims shaken, not stirred.

[teamxdark]

Office AU: Lancelot Joins Twitter

Lancelot: After much consideration, I've decided to join Twitter.

Lancelot: Even though social media is a slippery slope into screen addiction and terrible self-esteem, I figure I don't have much left to lose.

...

Arthur: It's finally happening.

Guin: Our little Lance is joining us on the virtual battlefield.

Galahad: ...

Galahad: Oh no.

...

Lancelot: I can’t believe the slander I’m reading online!

Lancelot: There are people out there that believe our company is garbage???

Lancelot: Who believe that our management is subpar???

Lancelot: Who think Guin and Arthur aren’t perfectly apt at their jobs and doing the greatest work in their power?

Lancelot: I’m... Hang on, I’m...

Lancelot: *typing* 280 characters is not enough...

...

Galahad: *looks at his phone in horror*

Galahad: *holds up his phone to show a 50+ callout post thread made by Lancelot*

Galahad: This wasn’t even about us, specifically.

...

Lamorak: Look. I know I shouldn’t be doing this.

Lamorak: Well... on company time, anyway.

Lamorak: *typing away* But Lancelot has discovered his inner white knight so...

Lamorak: *looks up and grins* Time to teach him about a little thing we call ‘trolling’.

...

Lancelot: AND THIS PERSON! THIS PERSON RIGHT HERE!

Lancelot: HE THINKS OUR POLICIES ARE OUTDATED AND OUR PRODUCTS SUBPAR?

Lancelot: *typing* Time to cancel this scrub.

Galahad: Dad, please.

Lancelot: Time for some hardcore pwnage.

Galahad: NO ONE SAYS THAT ANYMORE!

Lancelot: The pwnage shall be severe.

Galahad: ARE YOU DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?!

...

Lamorak: *wheezing as he reads through Lancelot’s 83 tweet reply*

Percival: Is it too early in my life to wish for death?

...

Arthur: *sips a latte while watching the drama unfold online*

Arthur: Hell yeah, Lance. Go off, king.

...

Merlina: I don’t know what just happened.

Merlina: One minute I’m minding my own business and getting some work done, and the next Lancelot comes up to me and brings me to his computer.

Merlina: He points at the little checkmark next to some people’s names on Twitter and demands that I make him Twitter verified.

Merlina: And I blink.

Merlina: I blink, and suddenly the checkmark is there.

Merlina: And now everyone thinks I’m a wizard.

...

Dindrane: *wheezing along with Lamorak as she messes with his Twitter settings*

...

Galahad: ...

Percival: ...

Galahad/Percival: *in unison* I’m so sorry about my dad/brother.

...

Guin: So! After less than ten tries, I figured out Lance’s password.

Guin: He doesn’t even two-factor authenticate.

Guin: And I might delete his account by tomorrow. Depends on how this shitstorm ends.

Guin: I don’t think Lance was ready for social media, but damn if I don’t have some great screenshots from today.

Guin: Upper management will be pissed off but that’s a price we can all agree is worth paying.

...

Bedivere: I’ve analysed the data.

Bedivere: We’ve gained so much more online traction and sales and general visibility as a company thanks to Lancelot’s... unique online presence. It’s a significant increase and a welcome one. Upper management might not be thrilled with how it happened but...

Bedivere: It’s their own fault for never putting a marketing team into the budget.

Bedivere: *sips coffee*

...

Gawain: What the hell is a Twitter???

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/26/2021: ILS/THEM (2006)

I wonder how much I can find to say about something as lean and efficient as the 77-minute mini experience in grueling terror ILS (THEM). Let's find out!

Simply put: Clémentine (Olivia Bonamy) and her boyfriend Lucas (Michaël Cohen) have moved into a sprawling mansion in rural Bucharest. They've barely settled in, when they are subjected to a terrifying home invasion by an unknown number of shadowy figures. This extremely simple plot creates an open field for a lot of creative thinking by writer-director team David Moreau and Xavier Palud, not to leave out their capable cinematographer Axel Cosnefroy. The expansive location with its varied topography—crawlspaces, tunnels, a multi-tiered attic, a maze of billowing plastic sheeting—provides seemingly endlessly opportunities to scare the shit out of the audience, resulting in a movie that feels like a mad sprint to the final frightening frame.

Even mundane moments, like Clémentine borrowing paperwork from her new colleague at the local grade school, vibrate with an unsettled feeling that allows no lull in suspense. ILS owes some of its kinesis to the then-new Panasonic AG-DVX100, which was a game-changer for independent filmmaking when it arrived in 2002. By 2006, even David Lynch was taking advantage of the progressive scan camcorder's low price point and ability to imitate the look of film (more or less) by recording at 24p. Both INLAND EMPIRE and ILS may have an oddly cheap, rugged patina, but neither of them wants for atmosphere, and the camera's compact size affords it a fluidity of movement that keeps things lively.

While the coarse digital video texture contributes to the otherness of the highly abstract INLAND EMPIRE, that same quality lends ILS a gritty immediacy that is appropriate for something so simple and confrontational. Unfortunately, its sense of realism is perversely diminished by its disingenuous claim of being "based on a true story"—which is unverifiable, and also less and less plausible as the story reaches its affected conclusion. Title cards at the beginning and end of the film insist on a true crime vibe that just isn't necessary to achieve the feeling that a brutal home invasion can happen to anyone, anywhere.

I'm sure there is a lot to say about what is accomplished by pretending that a fictional drama is derived from fact; after all, we now recognize an entire subgenre known as "found footage". However, ILS lacks the voyeurism of that pseudo-snuff material; instead of masquerading as home video, it relies on the air of authenticity imparted by two factors—one, the earthy simplicity of its premise, and two, the fact that it takes place in Romania. While watching ILS, I realized I've come to expect this specific form of xenophobia from America, home of the HOSTEL series and similar fare that derives its power from stereotypes about the lawlessness of the Eastern Bloc. But, this is a French production, and it made me wonder how widespread is this paranoia about Eastern Europe. It would be interesting to see how many international examples there are of this form of horror story, and to analyze if and how these fears are reflected in native Romanian productions. I have no idea what the state of genre cinema is in that region—excluding the many, many foreign productions that shoot there—but I'd be curious to find out.