#the obliterated character tournament

[obliterated-character-tournament]

brant art by @tw-5

death descriptions under the cut

Brant: was burned by his own fire that killed his fiancé, later had his hand burned off by his fiancé’s father when it was revealed that he murdered her, then had his head smashed by a falling rock when he broke out of prison, his brains went everywhere

Poke and Pye: In-game their bodies are intact for gameplay reasons. BUT, I refuse to believe that in-universe they are in one piece. The pair were exploring a comet that had just entered the solar system, they reached its core and found a stone with a massive amount of pressure inside of it, due to a strage gas-like matter inside of the stone. Minutes after they found it, the stone burst with enough force to blanket the entire solar system in the gas. As said, their skeletons are just kinda floating around, but the rock blew up and covered literally everything in this gas, they were fuckin vaporized, man

[myths-tournaments]

some of these MATCHUPS i am WHEEZING. VRISKA VERSUS FUCKING LIGHT YAGAMI. THERE WILL BE BLOOD

IKR rng out here putting finals-level matchups in the first round. at least we're guaranteed a fun show, though, instead of having to hope they both make it to the finals

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

It's looking increasingly likely that the semifinals will just be sapphic on sapphic violence. By the way, I'm kind of flattered by "This is so hard! That's an evil poll" comments since it just proves my seeding of the tournament wasn't terrible like I was so afraid it'd be.

It's supposed to be hard, guys! I purposefully did my best to put popular media next to popular media so no one gets swept out of the tournament super early by a hugely popular couple.

[incorrectbatfam]

You're the only person I've seen mention Duke and Izzy so can we get some hcs for them?

They have an ongoing skeeball feud at the arcade. She usually obliterates him, but will occasionally let him win

Duke was nervous about bringing her to the Manor because he was afraid it'd change things between them, but that went away the instant she met the pets

She has a particularly soft spot for Titus and will sometimes come over even when Duke isn't there

Day patrols keep Duke too busy to join most after-school clubs, but he always makes it to Izzy's tournaments and competitions

He introduced her to Pokémon trading card games and took her to buy her own pack. She immediately pulled a rare one

They fell asleep on the couch during an all-night Tarantino marathon

Since Izzy is fluent in Latin, she helps Duke come up with character and place names for his DnD campaigns

He really likes holding her hand and gets a little sad when he has to let go

They're both the middle kids in their houses, so they can get away with a LOT

We are Robin is proof

But also they use it for mundane things

Like he'll throw paper airplanes at her window to get her to sneak out with him

Sometimes they have corny pickup lines, courtesy of Dick

Or last-minute couplets Duke comes up with

And then they'll run off and do something completely innocuous like get ice cream or watch the local soccer team practice at the park

But going behind their guardians' backs gives them—especially Izzy—the low-stakes thrills they missed from when they were younger

She taught him how to dance. Tim snapped a picture when they thought they were alone

Their friends constantly tease them and have a running joke to see who can come up with the worst ship name. Dax is currently winning with "Thiz"

Duke can keep himself warm with his powers, but he still wears a jacket so he can give it to her in the cheesiest way possible

Of all the bat-partners, Izzy has the most casual introduction to the rest of the batfam. She just appeared one day and everyone was like "cool"

[most-hated-blorbo-bracket]

Welcome to the most hated blorbo bracket!

Do you have a blorbo that you absolutely hate?

Is there a character that makes you want to tear your hair out?

Do you want to put them in terrifying situations and study them under a microscope?

If so, this bracket is the one for YOU!

Our mission is to find the absolute most hated character in tumblr history. Will it be someone universally hated? Or someone more niche?

Let’s find out!

Rules

ABSOLUTELY no TERFs, bigots, transphobes, racists, or any sort of shit like that! This is supposed to be a lighthearted tournament, and I will NOT tolerate any fighting.

Your blorbo will be judged mainly upon the propaganda YOU give. I don’t know most media, so please be detailed!

Your blorbo must be hated :)

Characters from controversial media will most likely be accepted. If it’s from something especially controversial, I’ll send out a poll about the media and have the people decide your blorbo’s fate. If anyone is uncomfortable with a certain character after the bracket is revealed, please let me know!

Know that I am running this alone..so expect some silly little things to happen by accident! This is also my first ever bracket :3

Propaganda in asks is always welcome, as well as just silly cat pictures and whatnot.

Aaaand…here is where you can find your submission link!

Tags for exposure + inspo under cut!

@pinkhairswagtourney @canonmisogynyvictimstournament @most-datable-datable-bracket @the-nobody-tournament @dumbass-duo-showdown @dumbass-duels @leastdatablebracket @let-me-date-them-bracket @ultimate-blorbo-bracket @stinky-fuck-swag @action-brodown @pikmintournament @starwarspilotstournament @theater-kid-throwdown @badass-queer-couples-battle @art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament @obliterated-character-tournament @fuckingstupidbracket @generic-man-in-suit-battle

[squimbusfrommypolls]

Does your blorbo keep getting obliterated round one? Are they so obscure they never even MAKE the bracket? Well now they have the chance to shine!

Welcome to the Squimbus from My Polls Bracket, for characters who just can’t win! Nominate you’re Squimbus here!

Inspired by the likes of @gaybadguystournament @autismswagsummit @disability-swag-summit @ultimate-poll-tournament @ultimatepokemontournament @genderfluidfailcompetition and other such blogs

Rules:

It’s a given by now but NO REAL PEOPLE, not even a funny one

Submit as many characters you want but only submit each character once, keep it fair please

No popular characters. This is pretty broad but for a more general definition: if they’ve made it past the second round of another poll, they ain’t gonna make it in this one. I will use my own judgement for some though, so if I know they’re a fandom favorite from a big fandom I won’t let them in either

Not a rule but a statement. I will be including my own Squimbi, nepotism ftw

[grahminradarin]

SPOP And Queer Joy Tw for transphobia, the Daily Wire, and getting kicked in the nuts

I was watching the most recent video from Some More News about a deeply stupid and bad and transphobic film from the daily wire called Ladyballers, and there was a scene they talked about where one of the main characters who was a guy that has been disguised as a woman for a couple weeks in order to win a woman's basketball tournament realizes he might actually be trans, and confesses this to the basketball coach who is his old friend and came up with the idea. The basketball coach then tells the trans character that she doesn't understand her own feelings and that the coach will help her figure it out. When she continues to insist that she's a trans woman, the coach kicks her in the nuts. And this made me realize the whole conservative mindset is based on an authority figure convincing people under them that they don't understand their own feelings and they don't know who they are, but the authority figure does. And the point of it all is to make someone never trust themselves or their own feelings ever.

And then I thought of the ending of She-Ra.

And I finally get why it felt so right and so triumphant and so different. Catra and Adora have been living with Shadow Weaver their whole lives, and Shadow Weaver has constantly been telling them who they're supposed to be, and it hurts both of them so much over the course of the series because Adora keeps trying to fit herself into that mold better (is helped in this endeavor by light hope) while catra is trying to break out of her mold to put herself in Adora's as the golden child

And then hoard Prime shows up as the ultimate example of an authority figure insisting that you don't understand yourself with the chips, which are literally a direct physical implementation of that idea!

And in what both of them think are their final moments alive, they kill the shadow Weaver in their heads, trust themselves to know who they are, and do what they've wanted to do the whole time. Catra stops trying to prove herself and admits that she cares and wants to just be enough without having to try. She stops caring about whether she's weak and says she loves someone. Adora stops trying to be the self-sacrificing hero and acknowledges that she can care about other people differently than just having to save them and she finally takes something she wants without worrying about the consequences.

They both say "screw authority, I know who I am and I'm going to let that out" because they both think they're about to die. And that one tiny moment of rebellion and understanding saves the entire goddamn universe. It terrifies Prime to the point that he can't even comprehend what's happened, and then it obliterates him and frees everyone he's ever hurt. It fixes everything

That one moment of queer Joy, even at the very end of the world, is all that it took.

[chungledown-bimothy]

"That's why I read the character sheets before the episode."

Ally obliterated his entire tournament puzzle with Detect Poison and Disease, and he vowed never again.

[twisted-writing]

Villainess!MC

Prompt: Fem!reader who is a ruthless, wicked villainess <3 

Requested by: No one

Note: Just something self indulgent and letting MC giving the NRC boys a run for their money as treat <3 

Note 2: inspired by my conversations with @simplydlightfuldestiny and the villainess manhwa (Korean Comics) I've been reading 

Characters: Azul (mentioned), Crowley(mentioned), fem!villainess!reader

Warnings: mentions of manipulation, and MC having powerful magic 

•Villainess!MC who uses the fact that most, if not all of NRC sees her as a helpless girl who needs saving to her advantage and using it to get what she wants and is unapologetic about it. 

•Villainess!MC who is so easy at manipulation that she's able to get the student that has been giving Azul the slip for three weeks, into her web by the end of the day.

•Villainess!MC who is able to manipulate Crowley into not just letting her play in the Spell drive tournament but into also letting her have her own dorm room, away from everyone else, and she isn't in any of the seven dorms. 

•Villainess!MC whose magic is so powerful that during the Spell drive tournament, she completely obliterated the opposing team all on her own. 

•Villainess!MC who radiates power and elegance, practically commanding the attention of the room when she steps into it. 

•Villainess!MC who is always ten steps ahead of everyone else. 

[vyvilha]

belos is so cringefail and people hate him SO much every time he gets put in ANY character tournament ever he's just completely obliterated in the first round. like. even the tournaments about things he objectively doesn't have any competition about. like the worst father figure tournament. he violently murdered like a hundred of his children and then got completely obliterated in the worst father figure tournament. he's so failwoman he just can't have anything

[youngersiblingstournament]

Younger Siblings Tournament Bracket Reveal

A few things I want to mention before I reveal the bracket (and make the post really long because all the matchups will be listed in text):

Seeding of fictional characters in tumblr polls is inherently subjective. I did try to make it so that more popular characters/media would (most likely) face off against each other in later rounds, but I may be overestimating or underestimating the popularity of some characters/media, especially ones I'm not familiar with. There are some round 1 matchups that are probably a closer match but none of them are between the strongest candidates... I think.

The more niche characters will probably get obliterated in the first round as per Squimbus' Law. This is a tumblr poll and I do fully expect more popular characters to sweep, but that doesn't mean you can't encourage your friends to give your niche faves a fighting chance.

Also there are some matchups I literally just thought would be funny. Please don't take this too seriously.

I'm sorry BNHA fans.

(Preliminary Patch Notes 3/14: Swapped brackets 2 and 3, and brackets 19 and 21.)

[Image description: A 64-person tournament bracket labeled "younger siblings tournament" with a smiley face. The top-left quarter is labeled "quarter A" and color-coded red, the bottom-left quarter is labeled "quarter B" and color-coded green, the top-right quarter is labeled "quarter C" and color-coded purple, and the bottom-right quarter is labeled "quarter D" and color-coded gold. The starting brackets are labeled 1-32 and are as listed below. End ID]

Quarter A:

Ritsu Kageyama (Mob Psycho 100) vs. Ame (Wolf Children)

Malo (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess) vs. Cat Valentine (Victorious)

Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom) vs. Fern (Adventure Time)

Skeletor (Masters of the Universe) vs. Shuri (Marvel)

Ryotaro Nogami (Kamen Rider Den-O) vs. Princess Luna (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Lilo Pelekai (Lilo & Stitch) vs. Sir Agravain (Arthurian Legend)

Dewey Wilkerson (Malcolm in the Middle) vs. Siobhan "Shiv" Roy (Succession)

Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto) vs. Razputin Aquato (Psychonauts)

Quarter B:

(9) Maya Fey (Ace Attorney) vs. Louie Duck (DuckTales)

(10) Falin Touden (Dungeon Meshi) vs. Saburo Yamada (Hypnosis Mic)

(11) Noelle Holiday (Deltarune) vs. Krel Tarron (Tales of Arcadia)

(12) Melinoë (Hades) vs. Han Yoohyun (The S-Classes That I Raised)

(13) Abel (The Bible) vs. Hiro Hamada (Big Hero 6)

(14) Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons) vs. Greg (Over the Garden Wall)

(15) Dante (Devil May Cry) vs. Alisaie Leveilleur (Final Fantasy XIV)

(16) Shoto Todoroki (My Hero Academia) vs. Kofuku (Real Life)

Quarter C:

(17) Luigi (Super Mario) vs. Genji Shimada (Overwatch)

(18) Yukio Okumura (Blue Exorcist) vs. Saki Tenma (Project Sekai)

(19) Fleabag (Fleabag) vs. Emerald Haywood (Nope)

(20) Sam Winchester (Supernatural) vs. Jiang Cheng (The Untamed)

(21) Nico Di Angelo (Percy Jackson) vs. Gaz Membrane (Invader Zim)

(22) Manny Heffley (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) vs. Jimmy "Saul Goodman" McGill (Better Call Saul)

(23) Sunny Baudelaire (A Series of Unfortunate Events) vs. Sunny (Omori)

(24) Miles "Tails" Prower (Sonic the Hedgehog) vs. Mugman (Cuphead)

Quarter D:

(25) Michelangelo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) vs. The Knight (Hollow Knight)

(26) Vash the Stampede (Trigun) vs. Ruby Rose (RWBY)

(27) Sensei Wu (Lego Ninjago) vs. King Clawthorne (The Owl House)

(28) Dawn Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) vs. Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

(29) Jinx (Arcane) vs. Caduceus Clay (Critical Role)

(30) Damian Wayne (DC) vs. Alluka Zoldyck (Hunter x Hunter)

(31) Hop (Pokémon Sword and Shield) vs. Mirabel Madrigal (Encanto)

(32) Rhyme Bito (The World Ends With You) vs. Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Round 1 is ongoing! Matchups are linked (or if you prefer to scroll through the matchup posts, go to the "younger siblings tournament" tag on my blog)

[obliterated-character-tournament]

Whitebeard: Marineford / Summit War - He sustained 267 sword wounds, 152 gunshot wounds, and 46 wounds from cannonballs, and got half of his head blasted off, resulting in 465 injuries in total.

Finnck Odiar: after surviving not one but two hunger games, he goes on a mission to infiltrate the capital, almost makes it to the end but as they are running from man eating mutant murder lizard men he ends up getting caught and torn limb from limb, never getting to meet his son.

[chaifootsteps]

You know, after seeing the whole disaster that was the characterization of Adam in HH, I really need to take this out of my chest cause I never thought it was going to happen…

So there's this anime called 'Record of ragnarok' where they made a rewrite of Adam, since he is one of the humans that fight against the gods to save humanity from obliteration (the whole manga is about the gods wanting to destroy humans in a tournament)

Adam and Eve, both of them are presented as 'the parents of humanity' and none of them is presented as evil over the apple deal. The snake sets off a trap to acusse Eve of eating it because she escaped his attemp to attack her. Then Adam walks in and starts eating the rest of the apples to show disdain to Eve's accusation and they both leave togheter to start their own world.

He also has one of the most beautifully tragic deaths in anime, as while fighting Zeus (the leader of the gods in this story) he forces himself to the last breath and dies while standing after punching and almost defeating Zeus.

Why do I say all of this context and why I need to take this off my chest? because after I saw that one of the angels was going to be 'Adam' I started to grow affraid that Hazbin toxic side was going to come after ROR. And I was right, there came a bunch of posts and drawings comparing both characters, dumb fights over why the Hazbin Adam was superior to ROR Adam, that H!Adam could have killed his own alternate version and other annoying and disgusting stuff, I can't help it, but after seeing whats both Adam's stories are like, I can't believe this peoples audacity over 'who is better written'.

I'm getting tired of Hazbin toxic fans getting in other fandoms to try and rub in peoples faces that 'their stuff is better and the one you like is inferior and funnier and more mathure'. It already happens to a lot of western indie cartoons, but I never thought I was gonna see it coming to an ANIME fandom, im really tired of it.

Sorry for the long post, but I can't believe this people are so full of their 'demon-swearing-show-better' that they need to spread their toxicity to further fandoms.

Good lord, don't these people have anything better to do? Is their show that unentertaining that they have to walk across the neighborhood to wildly unrelated fandoms and start kicking sand in peoples' faces?

[maxwell-grant]

(Taken from TNS #152 Tournament)

I wanted to make a post about some of the ways the Marvel vs Capcom games perfectly translated the Marvel characters into fighting game format, and I simply had to post this recent clip in isolation because it is a Peak MODOK Moment. Simply one of the most perfect fighting game characters ever made, every bit as hilariously aggravating to fight as he looks and sounds like. Look at that clip. Vergil, the most infamously overtuned character in the game (not the actual strongest, mind you, but Top 2 or 3 at minimum), in his transformed state that makes him even deadlier, with a comeback mechanic that let him obliterate fellow top tier Magneto in 5 hits, and he can't do much against MODOK going CAN'T HIT ME NANNY NANNY BOO BOO at the top of the screen, even repeteadly teleporting right behind him doesn't work.

Half of MODOK's gameplan is just doing that, flying out of reach while laughing and filling the screen with garbage that keeps you away, and the other half is him on the offense hitting you with beams and control-scrambling bombs and gross green goo, even his stupid stubby little flutter kicks are solid combo tools. His gameplan revolves around hitting the opponent with cubes that analyse the opponent and make him smarter, learning the match on the fly so he can improve his attacks and literally just download more damage into his moves.

Every match with him seems like a foretold conclusion. Of course he's going to lose, he's huge and clumsy and easy to combo and has no way to deal with shield pressure. Of course he's going to win, you will never get close enough to him, he controls the entire screen, he has a jetpack at nearly all times and he is smarter than you, only getting more so if the match progresses his way. As perfect an implementation of a mad scientist in a fighting game as it gets.

[thesilliestrovingalive]

Updated: September 18, 2024

Reworked Character #7: Ralf Jones

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised due to references to divorce, death, and crime.

Real name: Rafael Paul Jonesbury (his spirit name is Miskwaadesi)

Esper title: Avatar of Flaming, Renewal, Authority, and Physical Destruction

Alias: One-Man Army and Marauding Lupine Carnivore

Occupation: Colonel of the Ikari Warriors

Retirement plans: Open a boxing gym and experience all thrill-seeking activities that society has to offer

Special skills: Driving military vehicles, close quarters combat, orchestrating stress relief programs, proficiency in all weapons, and mercenary work

Esper abilities: His go-to esper ability is the Vulcan Punch, a rapid-fire series of punches capable of obliterating everything from humans, riot shields, bulletproof armour and glass, cars, all known slugs, small to medium-sized tanks, and smaller helicopters. Despite his belly being constantly bloody and inflamed, he experiences surprisingly little pain due to his exceptional pain suppression, increased blood vessel density, resistance to extreme temperatures, and rapidly regenerating organs. This unique combination, coupled with a secondary esophagus lined with razor-sharp, spiky hairs, enables Ralf to harness the inflammation and blood to vomit a controlled stream of scorching, burning red liquid that incinerates his enemies. The sole drawback of his perpetually bloody and inflamed belly is impaired digestion, leading to difficulties in processing food, which in turn causes persistent vomiting and diarrhea.

The skin on his torso, arms, and legs can harden into diamond-hard scales, providing impenetrable protection against bullets, blades, small bombs, and weaker cannon blasts. He can move at incredible velocities, effectively achieving infinite speed, allowing him to move indefinitely while time appears to stand still around him. Ralf can manifest up to twenty invisible arms composed of solidified telekinetic energy, which can be utilised to move around easily as well as bludgeon and slice through people and objects with precision. These arms appear to be malnourished and exhibit constant, erratic movements, reaching up to 20' 5" (622.5 cm) in length. He possesses the hearing and smell of a dog as well as the ability to manipulate red and orange flames. He can also induce explosive blasts with his punches or a mere touch of any of his fingers.

He has the ability to split his arms into six parts, exposing his coppery muscles and a gaping, organic muzzle that fires ten tentacles with sea lamprey-like mouths. These tentacles can insert themselves into the spine or brain of deceased enemies, injecting a black, tar-like substance to reanimate them. In the process, they augment their physical strength and render them obedient to Ralf's commands. Whenever Ralf is killed, his body rapidly transforms into a cocoon adorned with serrated shell plates, as his corpse dissolves into a mushy, visceral substance. This cocoon then violently pulsates before rupturing, giving birth to a new, fully formed Ralf, covered in bloodied slime and emerging stark naked, with no visible injuries or scars on his body. Whenever this occurs, he experiences temporary blindness, dizziness, and intense, bitter coldness.

Hobbies: Baseball, participating in the biennial fighting tournaments that the Ikari Warriors host, taking his friends to carnival rides, camping trips, and science and art museums, rewatching his favourite anime movies and shows, and playing arcade games and iconic riffs on the electric guitar

Likes: A medal awarded from the President of the United States, the natural sounds of the jungle, collecting blades that look cool in his eyes, alebrije sculptures, and Clark (views him as a brother)

Dislikes: False rumours, poisonous snakes (he almost got bitten by one during a past mission), abuse of power, children being killed, and people hurting and insulting those he considers as “family”

Favourite food: Intestinal sausages and bubblegum that taste like watermelon and blueberry

Favourite drink: Root beer floats

Sexuality: Biromantic asexual

Gender: Male

Age: 25 (in 2022), 31 (in 2028), 33 (in 2030), 35 (in 2032), 37 (in 2034), 44 (in 2041), 46 (in 2043), 47 (in 2044), and 50 (in 2047)

Blood type: A+

Weight: 243 lbs. (110 kg)

Design: He's a 6' 2" (187.96 cm) American mesomorph of Latino, Ojibwe, and British descent with a robust build, decently chiselled musculature, broad shoulders, and a bit of a beer belly. He has almond skin, sunburst amber-sage green eyes, sharp claws, bear-like teeth, and six fingers on his left hand. He has slightly messy ash brown hair with wispy bangs, which he often ties into a braid that falls to the middle of his back. On his left deltoid, he has a tattoo of a stylized red otter playfully escaping the jaws of a black-furred wolf with piercing yellow eyes, clutching a ball of purple fire in its forepaws. On his right forearm, he has a tattoo of an alebrije with undulating cerulean horns, an orchid-purple eagle head, languid lavender eyes with aquamarine pupils, a fiery mane, a forest-green elk body, and a hot pink salmon tail with red-orange tiger stripes. Sprawled across the right side of the creature in a vertical line is a Spanish phrase in silver: "La sangre nos fortalece", which translates to "Blood strengthens us" in English.

Ralf's military gear consists of a chrome orange bandana with shaky rifle green spots and cinnabar fingerless driving gloves with four ivory spikes on the knuckles. He wears a waterproof dark green vest with the Ikari Warriors logo emblazoned on the back, a coyote-fur trimmed collar, and two concealed strapped compartments, each capable of holding up to two firearms. However, one of the compartments often houses a sheathed Zantetsu sword instead. He wears cargo pants with an army green, brown, and silver-grey camouflage pattern, which aren't tucked into his beige jungle boots. He wears a grimy, asparagus-hued sleeveless shirt paired with a yellowish-tan belt featuring four black pouches for bullets and a holster for his handgun.

Attached to his belt are two blades: Harpe, a khopesh-like sickle sword with a flint-encased adamant blade, and Yawarakai-Te, a double-edged katana featuring a green-grey hilt and a hardwood sheath adorned with iridescent crow feathers. When the air gently blows past Yawarakai-Te's blade, it produces a soft hissing sound. Yawarakai-Te's blade is unnaturally frigid, able to cut a leaf in half with ease, and compels its user to spare the innocent and undeserving from attack. Ralf dons a cardinal red waist pack that holds two cans of root beer as well as black elbow and knee pads. He also wears a black drop leg sheath for his combat knife, which features two pointed silvery stripes that form a triangular pattern.

Over his shirt, he dons a Soldier Plate Carrier System (SPCS) with a MultiCam pattern, which carries around his walkie-talkie and ammo for other firearms. Above his belt, he has a dark brown bandolier for holding sticks of dynamite. Ralf carries around a yellowish-tan load-bearing backpack that contains camping equipment, tactical explosives, portable ammo boxes, a canteen full of water, a bazooka, maps for all continents, an extra pair of clothes, and a bag of THC-infused box gummies in orange, red, and yellow. His backpack also contains a faded photograph of a younger him and Clark, an army Medal of Honor, a silver milagro charm in the shape of a fiery heart for good luck and protection, an empty spotted turtle shell, and a dreamcatcher adorned with a grey web design, song sparrow feathers, and colourful beads in red, white, yellow, and black.

He occasionally brings his copper-hued electric guitar and goldenrod-coloured pick holder, containing a rainbow of guitar picks (he jokingly says that he dislikes the purple one the most), on deployments and during downtime in the field. He wears hook earrings, each featuring three porcupine quills tipped with gaspeite beads, and a Jocla necklace made of alternating white wampum beads, copper beads, and raven feathers.

Thanks to Tarma, he owns a key to access his red-violet Matchless G3/L motorcycle, which has a purplish-black sheen. The gas tank features a sky blue fish scale pattern with malachite green dots at the centre of each scale.

Super Devil form: He's a 15' 7" (474.98 cm) draconic entity with a grotesque musculature and scaly, iridescent rifle green skin. He has a cerulean coyote-shaped head with sunburst amber-sage green eyes, a cardinal red nose, and a wispy silver-grey goat's beard. Ralf also has horse ears, an orchid-purple snout, two rows of olivine shark teeth, and a slimy, pointed tongue. His arms and legs are covered in ash brown otter fur, featuring six fingers and razor-sharp copper claws. He has eagle-like feet with copper talons, a fiery mane, and the upper skeletal body of an antlerless elk partially emerging from his back.

This skeletal elk body features otter-like teeth, an aquamarine forked tongue, and glowing goldenrod eyes. It’s covered in a layer of translucent flesh stitched to his back with forest green sinew. A hot pink salmon tail with red-orange tiger stripes lies flat on his back, attached to both the skeletal body and the muscle fibres, veins, and flesh of his back. The tail is slightly less than half the length of his actual tail and appears to flutter lightly every now and then.

Three rows of symmetrical, deadly sharp, conical spikes are positioned on his back, running from the base of his neck to just before the start of his tail. He has two massive bat-like wings, boasting an impressive wingspan of 21 ft (640.08 cm). Despite being dull and tattered, the wings' membrane displays silvery spots and a striking gradient from grenadier red to flush orange to selective yellow. Additionally, Ralf has olivine thumbs tipped with copper claws, and his forearms, wrists, and five fingers are dark green. He has a long, winding, serpentine tail that's twice his height, boasting distinctive coloration and markings reminiscent of a pickerel frog, and culminating in a silver arrowhead-shaped tip.

Personality: He's a rowdy, outgoing, stubborn, and honest individual with a strong passion for action and thrill-seeking ventures. However, he also values his leisure time and ensures others take regular breaks to rest and recharge. He's extremely protective towards new recruits under his command, comrades, and friends, viewing them as family. Ralf is willing to go to great lengths to ensure their safety and the security of innocent lives, even if it requires taking bold action or putting himself in harm's way. However, he harbours a deep-seated hatred for betrayal, particularly among those in the Regular Army or whom he considers family.

He often enjoys teasing Clark, playfully poking fun at his serious nature while showing him brotherly affection, but also treats him with great respect and compassion. The thought of potentially losing his brother-in-arms, Clark, through unfair circumstances is unbearable to him. He deeply cares about children, recognizing their importance to the growth and future of humanity, and is appalled by those who abuse and harm them. The thought of inadvertently causing harm to a child or being forced to do so is utterly devastating to him.

Similar to Marco, he has a habit of concealing his deepest emotions, particularly those related to the many people he has lost during countless wars and terrorist attacks. Instead, he often tries to drown his sorrows with a few drinks, seeks comfort in the company of friends, or indulges in reckless activities. Whenever he gets drunk, he exhibits forgetfulness, clumsiness, mild paranoia, excessive joviality, and loquaciousness. He has a habit of frequently mistaking people's names, often using similar but incorrect variations (e.g. calling Marco "Mark" and Fio "Fia"), which greatly embarrasses him, prompting him to profusely apologise for the mistake. Ralf is truly fascinated by Hyakutaro, drawn to his enigmatic origins and historic status as the first esper ever known to humanity. He tries his best to avoid water activities like cruising and canoeing as they make him prone to seasickness. He finds Tarma and Nadia to be absolutely hilarious and has a soft spot for Trevor's nerdy and laid-back demeanour.

He believes that immortality is unattainable for espers and humans, reserved for the psyche and most powerful deities. He's an animist who believes everything is interconnected, and everyone has a vital role in stewarding the earth. He's a devout believer in manitou, which represents the mysterious power of life and the universe. Surprisingly, Ralf is a skilled storyteller, often recounting his past experiences and sharing entertaining moral stories his father once shared with him. Although he's a fun-loving, hot-headed enthusiast of arcades and classic anime with a great sense of humour, he possesses remarkable wisdom and generosity. He's not fond of the false rumours that surround the goings-on of the world and his personal life. He closely holds onto the values his mother taught him, including independence, loyalty, dignity, self-respect, healthy pride, and respect for elders and authority figures.

Backstory: Rafael Paul Jonesbury was born on August 25, 1997 in the Midwest, United States. His father, Gabriel Jonesbury, was an Ojibwe shaman and owner of an arts and crafts shop with a spirit name of Kechewaishke. His mother, Javiera, was a British-Latina mercenary who served in the Regular Army. Like Ralf, she was an esper with the esteemed title of the Avatar of Physical Decay, Luminosity, and Fogginess. Gabriel would often share moral and entertaining stories that connected various figures from Ojibwe spiritual beliefs, such as the Thunderbird, Great Serpent, Mishipeshu, and Nanabozo. He also taught him about other important beliefs valued among First Nations peoples, including the Grandfather Teachings and the Medicine Wheel. He sparked Ralf's love for nature and encouraged him to fearlessly explore his identity and interests.

Javiera taught him numerous Latinx cultural values, the importance of family, and how his faith in God would be greatly rewarded. She often crafted wooden alebrije sculptures for him when she was away from home. She usually encouraged him to be proud of his cultural heritage and not let others bring him down for being different. While she appreciated his fondness for nature, she found his love for arcades and anime perplexing. She would unknowingly spark his interest in the military, particularly the mercenary lifestyle, through her stories and experiences.

At age 7, his parents decided to get a divorce due to their differing spiritual beliefs, which were starting to clash more and more. He lived with his father for the most part but was allowed to visit his mother whenever she was between assignments or not away on mercenary work. He also began to take up baseball, which became his favourite sport to play and watch on the big screen.

At 12, with the support of his father and his Ojibwe community, he embarked on his spiritual quest. Ralf recalls that it produced visions of his future life as a great warrior and storyteller, revealing that he's an esper and teaching him how to harness his powers and access his Super Devil form. After a period of isolation and fasting, it revealed the spirits of his ancestors and his three guardian animals: the wolf, turtle, and otter. Through this experience, he developed his survival skills, gained maturity, and strengthened his connection with nature and the divine forces of life.

At age 14, before embarking on a mission against mysterious terrorist cultists, Javiera gave him her silver milagro charm for safekeeping, telling him it would bring him good luck and protection. Tragically, that mission proved to be her last, as she was captured and tortured to death. When Ralf received the devastating news, he struggled to come to terms with it and felt overwhelming guilt, as if her fate was his fault because he possessed her milagro charm. Although his parents were divorced, Gabriel was deeply saddened by the news and did his best to support Ralf through his emotional turmoil.

When he turned 20, his father was killed during a robbery at the arts and crafts shop he owned. To make matters worse, he was facing financial difficulties at the time and struggling to find a stable job. In his desperation, he turned to an illegal fighting ring, drawn by the promise of cash prizes likely funded by other criminal activities. He participated in numerous fights, both in the ring and on the streets, for profit, eventually becoming the most skilled fighter among them. Ralf also discovered a fondness for THC-infused gummies, which provided relief from his emotional pain and served as a pleasant indulgence.

All of that changed when the Ikari Warriors discovered the famous street fighter's true identity as an esper after he joined their biennial tournament. With little convincing needed, Ralf joined the Ikari Warriors, driven by a desire to carry on his mother's legacy and explore the world. He excelled in all aspects of the military training he received, particularly in utilising his esper abilities and mastering hand-to-hand combat. The news that the Ikari Warriors had recruited another esper caught Clark's attention, but he was hesitant to approach Ralf. However, after a mission against a corrupt politician attempting to seize control of Brazil, Ralf and Clark became fast friends. During his time with the Ikari Warriors, Ralf formed close friendships with several comrades, including General Kawasaki, Second Lieutenant Cook, Eikichi, Leland, and Byron.

Ralf has been on numerous missions for the Ikari Warriors, rising through the ranks to become a colonel due to his natural leadership skills and courage on the battlefield. He and Clark played a crucial role in defeating a secret society, referred to as the Serapion Fellowship, that had infiltrated and influenced much of Latin America's political and religious landscape, a group that would later evolve into the Ptolemaic Army.

In another notable operation, Ralf, Clark, and a few comrades successfully rescued Elise, the U.S. President's daughter, from a massive criminal organisation that had planned to exploit her to gain access to the President's funds and harvest her organs. Ralf fondly recalls this mission, as it earned him a Medal of Honor from the U.S. President. He acquired Harpe during a mission in Greece where terrorists had raided a recently discovered catacomb. Additionally, he obtained Yawarakai-Te during a separate mission in Yamagata, Japan where a cult with illegal weaponry had taken over an old village, intent on instigating a nationwide war.

Ralf has endured numerous tragedies, fueling his determination to improve and protect the innocent. He witnessed the devastating loss of General Kawasaki during a battle against a cartel in Mexico, where he was tragically crushed and burned alive by flaming debris from a missile strike. Second Lieutenant Cook fell victim to a traitor within the Ikari Warriors, who betrayed them to a bioterrorist group during a mission in Czechia, resulting in her assassination. While investigating a town ravaged by a guerrilla army in Saudi Arabia, Byron was horrifically devoured by a swarm of Man Eaters. Leland met a brutal end during a mission on a stolen submarine, where he was fatally gutted by a criminal. Eikichi suffered a terrifying fate when a Mutated Soldier latched onto him while investigating an abandoned laboratory, promptly exploding shortly after.

During the Great Morden War, Ralf made a name for himself as he single-handedly successfully defended the United States against the Rebel Army's invasion. Notably, he destroyed a massive Rebel aircraft that had been using captured men, women, and children as hostages and human shields. However, upon destroying the aircraft, Ralf was met with devastating news: there were innocent civilians on board, and they had all perished in the attack. This heroic yet tragic act caught the attention of the Regular Army's high command, who subsequently approached the Ikari Warriors to propose a strategic alliance. The offer was readily accepted, and as a result, the Ikari Warriors were integrated as the elite mercenary branch of the Regular Army.

As a way to support the Regular Army and show his respect, Ralf frequently trains new recruits to hone their melee combat skills. Due to his mercenary work, he rarely had the opportunity to meet members of the Regular Army's other special forces. He had always heard heroic stories about Hyakutaro and the elite members of the P.F. Squad and S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., especially those from the Great Morden War and the Martian-Rebel Alliance War. He initially hoped to meet them in person, fascinated by their tactical prowess and teamwork. This dream eventually became a reality during a mission against the Invaders.

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: John Gaius from The Locked Tomb vs Dr. Starline from Sonic The Hedgehog

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

John Gaius:

LOVE: - "Everyone hates him but really he's just my little evil guy from new zealand." HATE: - "There's a lot of discussion around how well-intentioned he is, I don't think anyone thinks he's blameless but some think he's an evil mastermind manipulator and some think the situation just got a bit out of control. Crucially, though, you can't trust anything he says." BOTH: - "in the authors own words: "what if the magical girl . . . was a guy in his thirties with some very weird friends?" also he ate the sun and killed all of humanity. hes the worstbest guy ever"

Dr. Starline:

LOVE: - "i love him soo much hes so silly and he does have a dedicated following however everyone who DOESN'T seems to think all the fans are super annoying and him by extension + the starline poll bot accusations :( hes so meow meow. horrible pathetic sopping wet platypus man" - "the way people will get so divisive over him is so funny to me. people hate him for the crimes he has done and people love him for just being an interesting character yet most polls and such you see with him in it ive seen people genuinely call others bad people for liking him its wild" HATE: - "obliterate that twink"