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#there is heartbreak! there is obliviousness!
xxspringmelodyxx · 9 hours
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Happy Anniversary~
Gojo Satoru x Reader (angst)
Currently sobbing, crying, and throwing up while writing this
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“Toru, stop it!” I giggled, feeling his kisses cascade along my neck while his arms ensnared me, refusing to let me escape.
“But… I… love… you… so… much!” His words punctuated by the soft press of his lips, his embrace tightening around me.
“And I love you more, but we’re out in public. People are staring,” I chided, though the sensation of his cool, tender kisses was undeniably intoxicating.
“Who cares, let them see. Everyone will know that you’re mine~” His declaration sent a flutter through my heart, prompting me to pull back slightly, needing to gaze into his eyes. I gently cupped his face in my hand, tracing the lines of his features with reverence.
He smirked, a knowing glint in his eyes as he watched me with affection. “You know, if you like looking at me that much, I could take a picture for you and sign it even,” he teased, earning an eye roll from me.
“Oh, shut up, you. It’s not my fault you’re the epitome of gorgeousness,” I retorted, unable to hide the fondness in my voice.
“Look who’s talking~” His response was playful as he drew me closer, capturing my lips in a tender kiss.
I closed my eyes, letting him draw me into him. As our kiss deepened, warmth spread through my body, the world around us fading into insignificance. Eventually we needed to pull away to catch our breaths, but that was short lived as Toru pulled me back in for another, not wanting to waste anymore time.
I giggled into the kiss, trying to break away to tease him. I succeeded, but only for a split second. The instant I pulled away, he gently grabbed me by the neck and whispered, “Not yet. I’m not done~”, and pulled me back in.
With each kiss, our connection felt more profound, as if our souls were entwining in perfect harmony. It was a moment suspended in time, where nothing else mattered except the love we shared.
Lost in the bliss of our embrace, we seemed oblivious to the world around us. But reality intruded in the form of a gentle breeze, carrying with it the murmurs of passersby and the distant sounds of traffic.
Reluctantly, we pulled apart, our gazes lingering as if trying to prolong the fleeting moment. Toru’s hand found mine, his fingers intertwining with mine as we began to walk, the city bustling around us.
“So, where to next, my love?” he asked, his tone playful yet tender.
I smiled, the warmth of his affection enveloping me like a comforting embrace. “Anywhere, as long as I’m with you,” I replied, leaning into his side as we continued our journey together.
”Oh baby, there’s nothing that could ever tear me apart from you. I’m with you until the end of eternity,” he spoke, his voice filled with unwavering devotion, making my heart swell with love and hope.
With tears of joy brimming in my eyes, I smiled at him, feeling the warmth of his words wrapping around me like a comforting blanket.
”I love you, my ’Toru~” I whispered softly, the words a balm to my wounded soul.
“And I love you, my N/n~” His response was tender, filled with a depth of emotion that echoed in my heart.
But our moment of bliss was shattered by a sudden, loud noise that pierced through the tranquility like a knife.
“Ugh, what is that noise?” I groaned, instinctively turning to Toru for comfort. But instead of finding solace in his arms, I was met with a heartbreaking sight – his smile, tinged with sadness, tears glistening in his eyes.
“Toru? What’s wrong?” My voice trembled with fear, a cold knot of dread forming in the pit of my stomach.
“It’s time to wake up, my love~” His voice was gentle, but there was a finality to it that sent a chill down my spine.
“What… what are you talking-”
And then darkness consumed me, swallowing me whole as I plummeted into the abyss of consciousness.
———
“About,” I whispered, my eyes fluttering open to the harsh reality of the world around me. My smile that was previously plastered on my face quickly turned into a frown as realization washed over me, shattering my heart into a million irreparable pieces.
It was just a dream. A cruel illusion that teased me with a happiness I could never truly have. A sharp pang of sorrow struck me as I sat up, looking over to the side of the bed where he used to sleep. The place where he used to hold me close. The place where we would talk endlessly about any and everything just to delay going to sleep.
Toru was no longer here, his presence nothing more than a fading memory lingering on the edges of my mind.
I looked over to see my phone alarm going off. I quickly picked it up, turning the alarm off. Before I could put it back on the nightstand, I saw today's date and realized today was…our 5th year anniversary.
A wave of grief washed over me as I stared at the date, the weight of his absence pressing down on my chest like a leaden weight. The world around seemed to blur as memories of us together began to play in my head. The way he held me, the way he spoke to me, the way he looked at me, touched me, kissed me… everything. It all kept replaying in my head like a broken record. And each one… a painful reminder of what I had lost.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I clutched the phone to my chest, wishing that I could go back in time and stop him. If only I had held onto him tighter, told him how much he meant to me, begged him not to leave to go fight Sukuna. But time was cruel, unforgiving, and now he was gone, leaving behind nothing but memories and regrets.
I closed my eyes, willing the tears to stop, but they kept coming, a relentless torrent of sorrow that threatened to consume me whole. How could I go on without him? How could I face a world that no longer held his laughter, his warmth, his love?
I pulled the phone away from me, looking at my home screen, seeing the picture of us together. We looked so happy... he looked so happy.
A pang of longing shot through my chest as I stared at the frozen moment of happiness captured in the photo. How I wished I could turn back time, relive those precious moments with him once more.
But reality was unforgiving, and no amount of longing could bring him back. With a heavy heart, I set the phone aside and rose from the bed, a solemn determination settling over me.
I made my way to the door, slipping on a coat to ward off the chill of the morning air. The journey to the cemetery felt like an eternity, each step weighed down by the burden of grief.
———
Finally, I stood before his gravestone, the sight of his name etched in stone sending a shiver down my spine. The world seemed to fall away as I knelt beside his final resting place, the silence broken only by the sound of my ragged breaths.
"I'm here, Toru," I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't forget. I could never forget."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I placed a bouquet of fresh flowers on the cold, hard ground, their vibrant colors a stark contrast to the somber surroundings. I knelt down, the tears threatening to fall any second now.
"I miss you," I murmured, my voice choked with emotion. "Every day, every moment. I miss you."
I reached out, tracing the letters of his name with trembling fingers, as if trying to etch them into my memory forever. The pain of his absence threatened to overwhelm me, but I refused to let it consume me.
As I knelt there, the weight of his absence bearing down on me, a profound sadness washed over me. How could someone like him be subjected to such cruelty and pain? Even when he was first born…he was already a target.
“I’m sorry, Toru,” I whispered, the words catching in my throat. “I’m sorry for everything you had to endure, for the life you were forced to live.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I thought of all the moments he had missed, all the joys and sorrows he had been denied. He never got to experience the simple pleasures of life, the freedom to choose his own path, to love and be loved without fear or reservation. Simply just because of who he was and this cruel world we live in.
But despite it all, he had remained strong, his spirit unbroken even in the face of unimaginable hardship. And through it all, he had found solace in my love, in the simple act of being seen and cherished for who he truly was.
"I wish I could have given you more," I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper. "I wish I could have shielded you from the pain, shown you the beauty of the world beyond the darkness."
Tears continued to fall unabated as I spoke, each word heavy with the weight of my regret. How I longed to turn back time, to rewrite the script of his life, to spare him from the agony he had endured.
But even as I grappled with my own guilt and sorrow, I knew deep down that Toru had found a kind of peace in my love. In those fleeting moments we shared, he had known what it meant to be truly seen, truly loved, and for that, I would be eternally grateful.
And as I knelt there beside his grave, the quiet stillness of the cemetery enveloping me like a comforting embrace, I made a silent vow to honor his memory in the best way I could – by living my life with the same compassion and kindness that he had shown me.
"I will never forget you, Toru," I whispered into the silence, the words a solemn promise echoing in the air. "I will carry you with me always, in my heart and in my soul."
I leaned over and gave his gravestone a kiss, a powerful pang in my chest appearing.
With one last lingering glance at his gravestone, I rose to my feet, a sense of peace settling over me like a gentle breeze. And as I turned to leave, I knew that even in death, his love would be my guiding light, illuminating the path ahead as I walked forward into the unknown.
With a heavy heart, I whispered the words that had become my mantra, my lifeline in the darkness:
"I love you, Toru. And I always will. Happy Anniversary, my love"
______________
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thedrarrylibrarian · 2 days
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I know I always say this, but it’s always true - I am so excited for this month’s guest reccer! To say that Grace, who writes as @mintawasalreadytaken, has excellent taste would be an understatement - she is a tastemaker. I realized as I was looking through a server that we’re both in that I read Coyote Ugly (which I recced a few weeks ago) based on her recommendation first! She’s also an accomplished writer herself, so if you like her rec, be sure to check out her works.
I leave the format of the rec up to the guest reccer - sometimes people use emojis, sometimes they give the rec as bullet points, and sometimes people prefer to write paragraphs. Grace asked if we could have a conversation about this fic together, and I eagerly agreed! I’ll be TDL below, and she’ll be Grace. Just as a heads up, there are minor spoilers for the fic below the cut.
Without further ado, I present the May Happy Hour Recommendation - in conversation with @mintawasalreadytaken!
I Do Not Love You by @writandromance (228,290 words, Rated M)
In 2013, a carefully-designed Obliviation leaves Harry reconfiguring his life and identity without any memories of true love; an act that's essentially erased Draco Malfoy from his mind despite a wedding band and shared home.
In 2000, Draco had expected Pansy's relationship with Luna to bring the Gryffindors a bit closer to his orbit of quiet, carefully pacifistic existence, but he never expected to navigate such a transparent embrace into a unit of family, friendship, and love.
A mystery, two love stories, and a reminder that learning to love never has an end date.
TDL: You picked I Do Not Love You for this month's rec. Would you start by telling people who have never read it why they should give it a try?
Grace: I think I speak for a lot of us in the world of fanfiction, specifically Drarry fanfic, that we're not generally known for being chill about our obsessions. So, as someone who's read a lot of hurt/comfort and angst, I Do Not Love You stands out to me because it does a number of interesting things with its key trope, amnesia. It's a love story told backwards, and a love story that's as much about hate and how hate destroys as it is about love and how love builds.
TDL: I appreciate that you brought up the love story told backwards - I think that's one of the best parts of this story. The way, especially at the beginning, that the two plot-lines contrast makes it stand out to the reader about what Harry's lost, even when Harry himself doesn't realize.
Grace: Mmhmm, agreed. We start very firmly rooted in Harry's POV, with an eventual back and forth POVs between Harry and Draco, at opposite ends of the timeline of their relationship. So there's this wonderful tension there, right from go.
TDL: I think that's something very smart and enjoyable about Writ's writing. She's very good at creating that tension and then trusting the reader with it. She’s excellent at showing one perspective, and letting the reader infer the other perspective. It would've been easy to write from Draco's POV and get all of his angsty heartbreak firsthand, but instead she writes it from Harry's POV and we get his anger and are left to come to our own conclusions about Draco's hurt. It makes the conclusions more powerful to the reader.
Grace: Trusting the reader is certainly one of her strengths. Part of my deep enjoyment of this fic is how it begs to be re-read. It's only on the re-read that certain details, "tells" in Draco's behaviour, for example, become clear indicators of what will happen. But you need to learn them from Harry's POV first. It makes for a very fun circular read, in that way. Another way that trust is established masterfully is the contrast between Harry's anger in the present and the vignettes of his empathetic, whole-hearted earnestness in the flashback scenes. The distance between the two Harry's emotional states is enough for the reader to draw their own conclusions of how much it must pain Draco to go through this experience.
Though I will say, the angsty heartbreak moment we do get to see firsthand gets me every time. It's the most delicious stab in the heart!
TDL: I know it’s a spoiler, but will you be specific? What part exactly are you thinking of?
Grace: “I lost my husband.”
TDL: I put that quote down in my notes too - and "I didn't even get to say goodbye."
Grace: It gets to the heart of the worst part of a beautiful relationship: the fear of loss.
TDL: So we've done our favorite angsty moments. This fic, while angsty, is also really full of fun and funny moments. Does anything stick out to you along those lines?
Grace: Two stick out to me immediately. One is a callback to the Pablo Neruda quote off the top, from which the fic takes its title. "Your hand on my chest is my hand,” only Harry adds his own sexy twist to it, lol. The second is this incredibly tense moment mid-fight where Harry snaps about how long it would take to fall back in love with Draco and Draco's deadpan response of "You said 'when'" which is peak Drarry to me. That stubbornness in the face of literally anything, even the other avowing their supposed hatred.
What's your favourite funny moment?
TDL: Oh it’s got to be when we find out later that Pansy laughed at the toothbrush incident. It's just such a best friend thing to do. It felt like something I'd do to my sister or that she'd do to me and I think it added a realness to their friendship. They’re ride or die for each other, but they also laugh at each other, even in the hard times. I also love any scene Jules is in!
Grace: Agreed! The toothbrush moment was hilarious. And Jules is one of my favourite of Harry's familiars/pets-with-speaking-roles, ever.
TDL: I'm obsessed with the idea of a chameleon speaking Parseltongue! I also feel like Jules' character had a lot of thought put into it - what would be important to a chameleon? What would a chameleon notice and think in this situation?
Grace: Yes, his take on death and his sense of humour about it – that bonds Harry to him. The lens of his understanding of the relationship between Harry and his "ice queen" and the purpose of molting. It was all so well done. The fact that Jules can infer Harry's emotional state and then decides on whether and to what degree to argue about what kind of feed he requests is so spot on. Amazing characterization work.
TDL: With all of Harry and Draco’s friends and family, this fic had an ensemble of characters. Were there any other favorites?
Grace: My two favourites live on opposite sides of the spectrum. Ron, for his stoic, constant style of quiet and level-headed support. And Blaise, a true wild-card, who is ruled enough by ego to do things that endanger his relationships with both Harry and Draco, just never too much. They love him for it, even though he can be a chaos monster.
TDL: Blaise was on my list too! I thought his shenanigans brought a lot to the fic and I thought it was cool to see him portrayed as an equally important friend to both Harry and Draco that Harry saw him as someone to turn to for help, not just “Draco’s friend” but “my friend.”
Grace: The melding of friend groups, as most often happens when you're in a long term relationship, was done masterfully here. and the lines drawn in the sand becoming murky in places and crystal clear in others when a break-up looms, too.
TDL: Which brings us back to that relatable fear of loss - this loss is not just one person but friendships, community, a life and a future.
Something else that I want to mention is how immersive this fic is, even in a re-read. I knew what was coming and was still hooked.
Grace: True! It begins with a focus on interiority. We get the emotional punches first, and then the plot to underpin it. But in my view, the plot comes second to the feelings. It's a fic that invites you as the reader to put yourself into Draco's shoes. We all experience loss and so when we get thrown into this situation of experiencing what, for both of them, they consider a world-ending loss, we relate. The troubles only begin there, because after that there's still waking up every day and trying, again and again.
TDL: For a fic whose title refuses love, what better description is there for love than waking up every day and trying, again and again.
Is there anything else you’d like to add before we end this rec?
Grace: Just to say thank you for entertaining this, and for your thoughtful questions! And to thank Writ for writing this masterpiece of a painful, quietly beautiful love story. And to end on a quote – one of the ones I come back to constantly, as a reminder to self of the usefulness in trying at the things we find the most difficult: 
"Aw, don't get smart to wash off all the vulnerability, you wore it so well," he replied, eyes sparkling. As he backed towards the doorway, his arms opened wide. "Bask in the beauty of a difficult, emotional conversation." 
xoxo minta / grace
❤️ As always, if you enjoy this rec, please bookmark abd leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️
Lots of Love and Happy Friday!
PS - If you're interested in knowing what Grace and I are reading next, @writandromance just started posting a new Pride and Prejudice based fic. It's not complete, but chapter one went up today and we are so excited!
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randomthunk · 1 year
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I’ve noticed a few of my followers who are brothers in arms from Whouffaldi also being into Kiraodo, and I just gotta say, damn, what a weirdly specific type to have.
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i’m trying my hardest to not act how i feel
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oceanwithouthermoon · 6 months
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saiki is such a fucking loser when it comes to romance (and also in general shh) that no matter who it is hes trying to date, he ALWAYS waits for THEM to confess. he will NEVER be the one to confess first..
i dont think he even CONSIDERS the fact that he could confess first, even though he can read their mind and knows exactly how they feel about him.. he waits and waits for a confession and when he doesnt get it, he gets really frustrated and is like 'i guess they just arent serious about me 😒🙄' BRO YOU HAVENT CONFESSED EITHER ?? YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITIES TO DO IT TOO WHY ARE YOU A HYPOCRITE ??
#my agenda that kusuo is just a bratty girlfriend#kusuo with an UNREQUITED crush is just satousai like i dont even have to say it#he never thought of confessing to satou cuz he knew it wasnt requited so he didnt really think it mattered#which is also funny and related to this because he just never wants to be the one to pursue someone lmfao#'ugh when is he going to notice me' -guy preparing for his first queer heartbreak#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post#kubosai#<- i think kuboyasu almost always confesses anyway so kusuo doesnt need to worry about this for long#but theyre both pathetic hopeless losers so theres a chance kusuo could get frustrated listening to him pine after him#thats a rare case that could happen with anyone tbh where kusuo MIGHT confess. or avoid them like the passive aggressive tsundere he is.#terusai#<- this one he also gets very very frustrated!! because koko is kinda the same way he is..#she also expects to be confessed to and he hears her think that and is sooo annoyed because absolutely NOT#haisai#<- i think if hairo realized he had a crush he would immediately confess BUT he and kusuo are aroace kings lmfao#so i think that both of them r kinda oblivious and hairo simply wouldnt realize it was a crush#stg one of their friends would have to step in and be like 'u guys r practically dating can u just kiss or something damn..'#merasai#<- ALSO BOTH AROACE AND WOULD BASICALLY BE DATING WAY BEFORE MERA EVEN KNEW SHE LIKED HIM#saikai#<- kusuo is on a MISSION with this one omg. he does everything in his power to make his feelings known without being TOO obvious#so that KAIDO will confess.. but kaido just gets awkward about it for a while.. kusuo does not realize what hes doing is called flirting..#saikechi#<- idk i feel like this would be complicated.. akechi wouldnt want to confess cuz he would b like well i know he knows..#and he would probably mention casually wheile hes talking and not expect kusuo to respond#so like.. he just wouldnt think kusuo likes him because kusuo never acknowledges it but its only cuz akechi hasnt really CONFESSED
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briebysabs · 2 years
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Besides the waltz scene, this is the biggest hint for me at least that Noé is falling for Vanitas.
Because let’s be absolutely clear, he did not have to be here. Noé had no purpose in this scene and mochijun doesn’t seem like a writer who positions their characters without reason.
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To me, love isn’t something that occurs instantly. It takes time, trust, understanding, and vulnerability. That’s exactly Noé and Vanitas’ journey in their relationship. And they have already come to care about each other greatly but the subject of love comes into play.
I believe wholeheartedly that it will be revealed eventually that Noé has come to love Vanitas. Now whether it’ll be as romantic, platonic, or simply unlabelled pure “love” is up for debate. Regardless, Noé is aware that something is stirring within him but he doesn’t understand.
If it is romantic we might likely go the unrequited route. Seeing that Vanitas may love Noé but not romantically. No matter what however, any love Noé will have for him simply leads to an inevitable broken heart.
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maroonangels · 10 months
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I just know Spider’s listening to Paint The Town Red by Doja on repeat in his room while there’s catastrophic drama happening in his friend group that he’s fully unaware of
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skynetpirate · 2 years
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A little sketch to quench your thirst.
Line courtesy of @starathsbunker
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larrythefloridaman · 2 years
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captains! with a little bonus Casual:
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#updated design for val. ive drawn him before but am no longer satisfied with it#and listen i know its sacrilege to not give valentine the heart shaped tiddy window. and trust me i am allured by it.#but if i could get pretentious about character design for a sec i dont think its all that in character for him if im honest#smthn that always stuck with me wrt val and quad is ryan saying 'val is like a rollercoaster. quad is like skydiving.'#val is a dedicated and professional showman. all about the buildup and mystique amid the exciting ups and downs#so i simply think he'd leave a little more to the imagination. hence a formfitting but not exposing costume#and a nice comfy turtleneck in his downtime <3#i think about val a good bit and i like him a lot but i feel like sometimes people have a very different read of him vibes-wise than i do#val is a showman through and through but i think he's kind of awkward outside the routine and distant spectacle of it.#when people catch him off guard in intros it shows and just listen to him stammer his way through that serious talk with heartbreak#he's percieved publically as The Perfect Man to some extent- order says so#and between barry and kakyoin i dont think thats a matter of her personal taste.#and he does want a significant other but when you're thought of as the perfect man only people with obnoxious egos think they deserve you#and to circle back to the conversation with heartbreak.#theres sometimes a compulsion to compare val and crimson to quad and order for Red Trauma reasons but#i think its interesting that one of the only times Val's ever talked about his experience with crimson he compared him to cupid.#especially since. like cupid. Crimson expressed similar obliviousness to what he'd done wrong in cpuk orange#seemingly genuinely not understanding why Valentine refused to be around him#anyhow. i also think Quad's helmet was attached and didnt come off until J0hn got to fiddle with him#for the Symbolism of revealing the face = him gaining access to all of his feelings he wasnt allowed <3#cpu kerfuffle
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pantheras015 · 7 months
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Yeah, well, I'm in my 40's, married with two kids and deep down I still don't believe anyone could actually love me. Not romantically. I'm just a f*ck up and I guess my wife married me because I make her happy, or something? Which I do try to do. But my inner self just can't believe anyone would love me like that.
I just don't know. I wonder if River Song feels like this. Like no one *truly* loves her. 🙃
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furshrimps · 2 years
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I'm actually thinking often about where the point would be when I should seriously think about rehoming my dogs. Currently I can still mostly care for them, albeit going for regular walks isn't quite possible. I'm still hoping my condition will get better again so I'll be able to do that again. So far we either have to make use of the property or my sister will help with that, since walks with me have to be few and far between and pretty short. Sister also helps with enrichment. That situation isn't ideal, though, all in all they get much less time outside the property than before, and I do feel bad about that. I also spend less overall time with grooming, but so far I can do at least the minimum amount of grooming.
I think it's a balance, especially considering the history of both of them, as well as their age (10 and 12 now). They've both went through things that left them with serious trauma of humans, and both have done a lot of recovering since they've came to me. I know it probably sounds like I'm trying to turn a blind eye on the situation, but I don't think I can be replaced for them that easily. It probably would be a tad bit easier for Sammy, despite him being older and despite him having had the "worse" objective history. But overall I think he's more stable and adaptable. I'm not sure how Bats would be able to cope, though. Finding good homes for them would be a nightmare, though. Even just finding someone to help with walks feels like a too-big task, at least I still can't think of a good way to find someone who is trustworthy and knowledgeable enough. I do admit I'm probably way too overprotective about the dogs and way too distrustful of human beings in general here, but there are so many idiots out there who intentionally or unintentionally could cause so much serious harm especially to such small dogs that I don't know how to even start on that. And thinking how Bats practically has to be forced to leave the apartment without me even just to go with my sister, whom he knows very well... idk. Sammy is kind of hesitant, too, but not quite to that extent. Once outside they do enjoy their walks just fine from what sis tells me. But with a complete stranger? Idk.
Currently, I think the point to think about rehoming for me would be when I either can't even take care of the rest of the basic day-to-day care anymore, or when they'd start getting unhappy. So far neither of these things seem to happen, at least Sammy seems to be just fine with whatever as long as he gets some play, some running around, food, affection and a generally safe place. Bats is more easily bored, because he needs a lot of encouragement for things outside of activities that don't include treats, and he rarely offers social play on his own. And because he'll just wait it out until someone notices it's easier to dismiss or not notice. But just asking him to do a few tricks here and there so he can earn some treats, and likewise a quiet/ safe/ harmonious environment with lots of affection seems to be enough for him overall. I have a feeling all that could be very different if they had been raised and lived their life in a "good" environment all of the time. With a dog without all the traumas I probably would already be thinking about rehoming, or starting to think about it soon. I mean, I AM considering and weighing it constantly just the same, but so far it appears to be not the right thing to do, despite the downsides for them. But from what they show the upsides seem to outweigh the downsides still. I do try very hard to keep my assessment objective, even though I can barely think about that without breaking my heart. But ultimately, I knew I would and could make the decision in their favor. I'm just lucky they appear to be fine with it so far, and I can't begin to describe how thankful I am for that.
Maybe other people have a different view on all that, and maybe I'm wrong. But I honestly do try my best to do the right thing, and to do right by them. And I also try to do what I can to get better, because I'm sure that is what we all want the most in the first place.
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friquest · 29 days
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"Dear Evan Hansen" being the first musical I have ever consumed, taught me the importance of context.
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vizthedatum · 1 year
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I have had this intuitive hunch for the past 6-7 months.
(Please let it be paranoia.)
That you were lashing out against me, in some underhanded way.
Maybe that’s why you feel so horrible and miserable sometimes.
I love you, you know.
I tell you my truth in lots of detail, knowing what you might say, do, or even share behind my back.
And I’m not naive.
(Although a part of me hopes I’m completely wrong.)
I wonder what you truly think.
Will you tell me one day?
I wonder how well you’ve managed to convince people I’m just too crazy - traumatized and unhinged.
That I’m not ready to be dated… or considered.
That maybe I broke things off with you because of my trauma.
(Even though I broke things off because you just wanted me to fuck you, be a sexual teacher, and pour my emotional resources into you while ignoring my needs and expectations… like all the others.)
(It must have hurt to see me break up with you and then see me announce I was officially dating someone else, while still loving the person you wanted.)
That I feel things, and it’s funny or sad that I feel so intensely.
So you could seem like the rational victim.
Even though, you’re just as neurodivergently sensitive as I am.
After all, traumatized sensitive people hurt a lot.
And no matter how nice you are…
Hurt people hurt people.
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curemoonliite · 1 year
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The older I get, the more I like Daisy. When I was a kid first reading the series, I was so mad at her for getting between Cloudtail and Brightheart like a typical shipper and thought she was annoying but like...she's just a chick who only falls for men who are taken or just want to hook up. She's annoying, but only in the sense that like, your girlfriend who can't catch a break on dating sites is. You love her to death, but damn if you don't want her to finally find someone who treats her right after like 100 terrible dates.
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liliacamethyst · 11 months
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Web of Shadow and Light (Part III)
Sequel to Webs of Fate
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Miguel O'Hara x SpiderSun Reader
words: 5.2 K
warnings: secret pregnancy trope, swearing, angst, heartbreak, grumpy/sunshine
Part I Part II Part III
The Spider-HQ echo with an unsettling symphony - a child's piercing cries and the hushed whispers of concern from some of the multiverse's bravest Spider heroes. They stand clustered around the smallest yet most powerful disturbance they've ever encountered - a baby boy. His wails have been echoing through the HQ since Miguel left the room, leaving the baby and dozens of Spider-man behind. Each cry is a call for help that pulls at their hearts, demanding attention, challenging their patience.
After much deliberation and coaxing from the rest, Miguel gave his team an ultimatum - they have until dawn to find an alternative solution, before Gabriel has to be eliminated, before the universe collapses on itself. His voice was a cold whisper when he spoke, "Figure out another way by tomorrow morning, or..." Nobody dares to complete the sentence, not even Miguel, the unsaid words hanging heavily in the air. And with that Miguel was gone, and the baby immediately started wailing and hasn’t stopped since.
Now Gwen, with her brows knitted in worry, rocks the baby with desperate gentleness. Her blue eyes are bright with unshed tears, a look of sheer helplessness painting her usually confident face. Beside her Peter B. is attempting to cheer Gabriel up but his efforts as pointless as they are endearing. The usually funny and charming Peter B seems to be losing a battle of wits with a one-year-old. It would've been humorous, had the situation been any different.
The sight of the little baby boy weeping his heart out, oblivious to the chaos his presence is causing tugs at their hearts, binding them in a collective resolution - they must protect this child. The shadows and the light, entwined in this web they’ve all been thrown into. And the clock is ticking.
Hobie scoops up the little boy, cradling him close in an attempt to soothe his relentless tears. "See, the cow says muhhhhh," he coos. His tiny cries falter, curiosity momentarily replacing distress. He gazes at Hobie with wide eyes, intrigued by the cool looking man. "And the butterfly," Hobie pauses dramatically, "well, the butterfly don’t say nothin’." He continues his little game, while rocking the baby gently in his arms. "And the pig says-"
 Miles chimes in with an eager grin, "Oink, Oink."
"Nah, bruv," Hobie laughs. “The pig says, ‘You have the right to remain silent!’”
Gabriel’s face scrunches up, and the waterworks start again. Hobie chuckles, "Fair enough, little fella. Cops make me wanna cry too."
Meanwhile Jessica Drew, clad in her black and white Spider-Woman outfit, her dark locks cascading around her shoulders, is leaning against the doorframe, half entering the room, her eyebrows raised. "Well? I assume he didn’t stop crying?“
Beside her Peter B.  with his shaggy brown hair and five o’ clock beard just shakes his head. 
“This is nuts. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is working.“ Gwen states.
In the background, the cries of baby Gabriel cotinue, little fists flailing as he continued his tantrum. Jessica, arching an eyebrow, comments, “He’s still going at it?”
Hobie Brown, just gives her a quick nod. “Oh yeah, the kid has got a set of lungs.”
Suddenly, Pavitr Prabhakar, yelps as a makeshift toy, made out of wood and spiderwebs, hit him square in the forehead. "Ow! And one hell of arm throw."
Methodically, Jessica starts running through a mental checklist. “Diaper?”
Peter B. Parker nods. “Clean.”
“Food?” Jessica glances at Miles who holds a baby food jar and a bent spoon.
Miles, in his black and red suit, shrugs. “Kept smacking the spoon out my hand.”
“Nap?” Jessica's questions further.
The entire room answer in unison, clearly frustrated “Literally the first thing we tried.”
Pavitr smirkes at them. “Jinx.” But his joke is short-lived as Gabriels screams become even louder.
Gwen, then takes charge, “Ok, we have to do something,” her eyes flicking around the room with determination. She points to Jess, “You have to talk to Miguel. You’ve been around him the longest, maybe you can get through to him.”
Jess looks hesitant but nods.
“And Peter,” Gwen turns to Peter B who’s still juggling items in his hands, to entertain the baby and stop his crying. “Get Mayday’s toys. Maybe the baby’s just bored.”
Peter gives a thumbs up. “You got it, boss.”
“And Pav, Hobie,” Gwen instructs, her voice steady. “You need to rally the other Spider-people. We need everyone on board to protect this little guy.”
“Margo, you’re with me, girl. We are  paying our old friend Lyla a little  surprise visit. Something’s a little fishy with her.” Margo nods eagerly. 
As everyone scatters into action, Miles stands there, looking slightly lost and raising his hands. "Hey, guys, you forgot about me! What am I supposed to do? How can I help?" he calls out to the rapidly moving group.
Pav whirls around and points at Miles, "You, take care of the little guy, newbie," he says, as Hobie thrusts the still crying baby into Miles' arms.
"Great," Miles grumbles, balancing Gabriel on his hip and looking down at the squirming bundle of tears.
 He starts to bounce up and down gently, trying to imitate what he's seen in movies. The baby continues to cry, unfazed by Miles' efforts.
“Alright buddy, let’s figure this out together. I can swing through New York, so how hard can babysitting be?” Miles whispers to the baby.
Hours drag on and Gabriel's relentless cries continue to echo through the HQ. Despite his earnest attempts, Miles, armed with only his spider powers and limited babysitting experience, is unsuccessful in calming the baby. He’s tried everything he can think of – makinf funny faces, telling funny stories in a soothing tone, gently swinging him back and forth with his web-slinging skills, and even humming a little tune (it was Humble by Kendrick Lamar, but the thought counts, right?). At one point, he even tried to entertain the baby by creating animals out of webbing, but that didn’t work either. The baby is relentless, and his cries only seem to get louder. 
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In the meantime in Miguel’s office, the echoing cries penetrate through the walls. Migel is sitting behind his desk looking at some documents, while Jess stands in front of him.
“Please, Miguel, it’s a baby boy. How did you imagine doing this, huh?” Jess exclaims, her voice rising. “Did you plan to build some sort of machine to just vaporize him? Or did you think of strangling him with your own bare hands? I know you’re not a monster.” But Miguel's face remains stoic, his eyes never leaving the papers on his desk.
“And look,” Jess continues, pointing vaguely in the direction of where the baby’s cries are coming from, “this baby is already older, and nothing has collapsed yet. The universe is still here.”
“I can’t risk any more lives, Jess,”Miguel responds coldly, finally looking up at her.
“But what if there is another way? We haven’t even tried everything. We have brilliant minds here. Let’s...let’s figure something out that doesn’t involve.. that,” Jess pleads, her voice softening.
Miguel looks at her for a long moment but his expression remains unreadable. The cries of the baby continue to fill the air.
Jess then turns her gaze towards Lyla, , who is stationed nearby, her holographic interface flickering with data. “Lyla, what are the kid’s powers? Run a genetics test, a DNA test. We need something to work with.” 
Lyla’s synthetic voice answers in an eerily calm tone, "I have already processed the genetic information, Jessica. Thanks very much, genius. As per my findings, the child’s power attributes remain undefined. In regards to the DNA test..."
Lyla hesitates just a fraction of a second, but enough for Miguel to notice. It's an unexpected response from an AI that's programmed to be efficient and direct. A strange tingle rises within him but he pushes it aside, refocusing on the matter at hand.
“is inconclusive.” Jess squints at Lyla. “Inconclusive? What do you mean? Is he an anomaly or not?”
“He’s an anomaly, certainly. However, the DNA analysis is...complicated,” Lyla maintains her composed tone. “Complicated how?” Jess presses on. “Just...unfamiliar and intermingled genetic markers,” Lyla responds vaguely. “The child is an enigma.”
"Miguel, please" she continues, turning back to Miguel, clearly frustrated with Lyla's vague responses that are not helping her case. Her tone is still serious, "this isn't some variation of a monster, this is a baby."
For a moment, Miguel’s gaze flickers, his usual icy aura briefly wavering. "It doesn't matter," he finally grunts, closing his eyes as if to physically shut out the argument. Jessica's voice turns unexpectedly brittle. "I didn't join the Society to kill innocent kids."
Miguel clenches his jaw hard. "We do what we have to do for the greater good. No exceptions." Jessica takes a deep breath, her next words coming out almost in a whisper. "What if there was my Gerald or a version of your-" she begins, but is quickly cut off.
"DON’T. Don't even go there, Jessica" Miguel growls, his hand forming into a tight fist. "And why the hell is it still crying?"
Jessica's gaze softens slightly. "That child, that little boy, probably misses his parents. Parents who are going through hell right now, searching for their baby." Miguel's fist tightens further, a spark of something, maybe regret, guilt,  flashing in his eyes. Jessica presses on trying one last time to convince him. "He was found in 586, right? Maybe we can reconnect with Su-" 
"No," Miguel interrupts sharply, his voice a final command. “Until tomorrow morning, Jess,” he finally says in a low voice, putting an end to Jess’ outburst. “That’s all. You can leave now.” 
There’s a heavy silence, where the only sound is Gabriel’s distant crying.
Jessica looks at Miguel, her gaze piercing. "Think about what you’re doing, Miguel," she whispers and leaves the room, closing the door softly behind her.
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In the heart of the HQ, Margo sifts through the labyrinth of Lyla's concealed data. She uncovers a file that captures her attention – the baby's DNA results. "There you are," she mutters to herself, an air of triumph in her voice. As she opens the file, her eyes widen in disbelief, "Oh no…“
"What is it, Margo?" Gwen asks making her way over to Margo.
Margo's voice trembles slightly. "So, while looking through the hidden data, I found the baby's... there was a parental match."
Gwen's heart skips a beat. “I knew something was was off with Lyla. Of course she knows more. Well, who are the little guy's parents?"
Margo hesitates, then blurts out, "Miguel and Sunny."
Gwen stops dead in her tracks, her mind reeling. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
"The baby's mother is Sunny, and the father is Miguel," Margo reiterates, her voice steady.
Gwen eyes widen. "But... are you sure? I know Sunny's baby. I was there when baby Gabriel was born!“
"Yes, I'm sure. There were two parental matches for the baby in the spider DNA logs:Sun Spider and Spider-Man 2099. When was the last time you saw the baby, Gwen? Babies change quickly at that age." Margo confirms. 
"Miguel and Sunny? That's not possible... how have we never noticed that there's something going on between those two?" Gwen's mind whirls with confusion.
"Oh, I noticed," Margo's voice holds a hint of smugness, "The way he was sneaking into her room at night? And the way he looked at her every time she set foot in a room, like a lovesick puppy. It was adorable. Wait, nobody else noticed?"
Gwen splutters, taken aback, "What? No, I... well, he's all 'we need to sacrifice ourselves to protect the multiverse. No more traveling for fun'" she imitates Miguel's voice with a teasing lilt, then she adds, "And Sunnys is literally the personification of a warm embrace."
Gwen's mind whirls but she continues, “ Woah, okay lets focus on the important part. I mean, I knew something was wrong with Lyla, but why... why would she do that?"  
"There's more, Gwen," Margo says, her voice shaking slightly. "I found another thing in her data. It's... it's about how she's processing information."
Gwen frowns, "What do you mean?"
Margo takes a deep breath before explaining, "In simple terms, Lyla's been teaching herself new things. She's changing, growing beyond her original programming. Her code is self-evolving."
"And the data about the baby?" Gwen asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
Margo sighs, "She's been... twisting it, making the baby seem more dangerous than it actually is."
Gwen's mind reels with this new information, the world around her seeming to tilt. "But why?" she finally manages to ask. "Why would Lyla do this?"
"I don't know, Gwen," Margo admits. "But we need to find out and warn Miguel. And soon."
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Meanwhile in Miguels office, the wailing becomes louder, almost as if piercing through the walls, trying to reach something, or someone. Miguel's face betrays his discomfort, as if the cries are tugging at his walls around his heart. There's a weight on his chest, something unidentifiable that makes it hard to breathe.
Suddenly Lyla’s holographic interface hums. She begins to show the outline various strategies for eliminating the child. Her voice, analtytic but almost cheerful, fills the room. “So, we could create a temporal displacement field, effectively erasing the child from existence. Or perhaps expose him to a slow-acting molecular destabilizer..." 
 "Based on the trial," she continues unfazed by Miguel’s lack of response. "the device should work as intended, wiping out any of its DNA and trace. Be like the anomaly never existed." There's a hint of satisfaction in her words.
Miguel, until now staring blankly at the wall, finally turns towards Lyla, his complexion pale and his eyes wide.
His insides twist painfully, the mere idea of bringing harm to this innocent child becoming now unbearable.
“Stop,” Miguel chokes out.
“Apologies, Miguel. We must consider all options for preserving the multiverse. You out of all people should know that,”Lyla retorts.
But something within Miguel snaps. His ice-cold distant facade crumbles. Rising abruptly, his chair clatters loudly onto the floor.
Without saying another word, he strides out of his office. “Miguel? Are you listening? Where are you going?” Lyla calls after him, but her words are unanswered in the empty room.
Walking down the hallway, Miguel slows down as he passes the room where the infant's cries come from. He pauses when he hears Miles' pleas inside.
“Little dude, if you stop crying promise I’ll get you some cool kicks. Maybe some baby Jordans? Please, please just stop crying,” Miles pleads, his voice sounding desperate and utterly exhausted.
After a moment hesitation, Miguel pushes open the door and steps into the room. His gaze, sterner than ever, as he takes in the scene: Miles looking near defeat, his energy spent trying to soothe the wailing child, his spider suit rumpled and hair disheveled.
"Enough," Miguel comms sharply.
Miles looks up from where he's been pacing with the baby, his eyes wide like he's just been caught stealing cookies from a jar. “You,” Miguel points at Miles, who is holding the still-crying baby. His voice booms with authority. “Put him down”
Miles, slightly dumbfounded, obeys and carefully lays the child down on his makeshift bed. “I need you to return to Earth 586. Get some of his belongings - toys, blankets, anything you can find," he orders, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"But Miguel--" Miles startsbut gets cut off immediately.
"Now," he says, his red eyes flashing dangerously. Miles opens the portal hastily and disspears to your universe.
The crying has subsided to whimpers, and Miguel finds himself kneeling next to the little one, who reaches out for him. As if on autopilot, Miguel’s hands scoop him up abruptly from the bed.
"Quiet, niño. "Miguel growls at him with a  low and threatening tone. "I could just... do it right now." His irritation gets the better of him, and he bares his fangs at the little one. This sight shocks Gabriel into silence for a moment, his big, teary eyes widening at the sight. 
But then, to Miguel's surprise, the baby breaks into a fit of giggles, the sound infectious and joyous.
Gabriel suddenly mimics Miguel, baring his own little teeth – two tiny milk teeth and the beginnings of baby fangs peeking from his gums, causing Miguel to stiffen in shock.
Caught off guard Miguel's hold slips and Gabriel lands back on the web-shaped bed with a bounce. The baby's laughter ends abruptly and is replaced once more with tears and cries.
Still in shock, Miguel stumbles back a step, but Gabriel's cries soon pull him back into the present. With a sigh, he picks up the little boy yet again andGabriel immediately snuggles into the crook of Miguel’s neck, his tiny arms winding tightly around his throat.  Miguel swallows hard, unsure of what to do next. 
Then, almost instinctively, he starts to hum a tune he thought he'd long forgotten. "Tú eres mi sol de la mañana, el sol que brilla..." His voice is barely audible, the words shaky. Gabriel's little body relaxes against him, a content sigh escaping his lips followed by a quiet yawn. He nuzzles closer to Miguel, his tiny breaths falling into sync with the rhythm of the song. "...alegra todo, mi corazón," Miguel coninues softly, his mind flooding with memories. He sees a bright, lively girl with the same curious eyes as the boy in his arms. 
"Daddy," Gabriella asks, her large eyes bright with curiosity as she looks up at him, "why do you call me your morning sun? I'm not yellow."
Miguel chuckles at her innocence, his fingers gently tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. He cradles her against his chest, looking into those eyes so full of wonder. "No, mija" he replies, his voice soft with affection "you're not yellow but you are my sunshine."
"But why?" She wrinkles her little nose, her childish curiosity making Miguel's heart fill up with love.
"Because, mijita," he begins, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple, "just like the sun, you light up my world. You chase away the darkness with your laughter and your love. You are warmth, you are joy, and just like the morning sun, you are a new beginning, a promise of a brighter day." 
Gabriella blinks up at him, her lips curving into a small, and she hides her smile in the crook of his neck. "I like that, Papi," she whispers, "Sing the song again, please?"
“brilla, conmigo, brilla que brilla, alegrandome esta cancion. Tu eres mi sol de la manana…“
Eyes closed, Miguel draws Gabriel unconsciously closer, his heart full, and for the first time he’s feeling a sense of contentment he hasn't experienced in years. 
The moment is shattered by the sound of a throat being cleared, pulling him abruptly out of his peaceful trance.
Peter B is standing in the doorway, arms loaded with various dolls. "Wow, he's finally asleep," he remarks, looking between Miguel and the now sleeping Gabriel with a relieved smile. "I was starting to think that was impossible." 
Without responding, or even sparing a glance in Peter's direction, Miguel turns away from the door and heads to the bed. He gently places the sleeping toddler down, pulling a small blanket over him. Once he's confident that Gabriel is settled, Miguel quietly leaves the room, his demeanor as frosty and aloof as ever, making no acknowledgment of Peter's presence. 
Peter B is quick on his feet, rushing after Miguel. "I brought him toys from Mayday," he blurts out. "She won't miss them. She's not too good at sharing, but I guess she won’t mind in this case."
Miguel continues his stride, not giving Peter so much as a backward glance. "Que maravilla," he mutters under his breath, his tone dripping with sarcasm. Ignoring the dismissal, Peter B. reaches out and places a hand on Miguel's arm, stopping him in his tracks. Miguel raises an eyebrow and glances back at him half-heartedly, clearly not interested in a conversation.
Peter takes a moment, his gaze intensifying. "Hey, boss," he begins, his voice shaky yet determined. "We can't let anything happen to this boy, right?" 
At Peter's words, Miguel closes his eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath.
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Back on Earth 586, you're in the throes of a meltdown. Your little boy, Gabriel, is nowhere to be found. You've scoured the whole city of Nea Yorkey, every nook and cranny you can think of, but there's no trace of him anywhere. Desperation gnaws at your insides, and fury bubbles up, hot and fierce. Your mind is in turmoil, swirling with anger and fear, clouding your ability to think straight. One thing is crystal clear though: whoever dared to touch your child will pay dearly for their actions.
You're frantically trying to find a way to contact anyone from the Spider Society, while simultaneously considering every possible avenue to traverse the multiverse yourself. Alchemax - the multinational conglomerate known for its cutting-edge research and technological advancements - seems to be your only hope. As you're about to make your way there, a sound from Gabriel's room stops you in your tracks.
Your Spider senses, already on high alert due to the unexpected circumstances, seem to kick into overdrive. Every instinct within you screams that something is about to happen. Your heart pounds in your chest like a wild drum as you slowly approach the room.
Meanwhile, in Gabriel's room, Miles is having his own share of troubles. In his haste, he stumbles over a toy car that starts making an assortment of noises and brightly lit animations. "Ah, this stupid toy!" he curses under his breath.
A thought suddenly crosses his mind and he wonders aloud, "Wait, does he need a blanket?" Just as he's about to reach for a small bunny stuffed animal that lay discarded on the floor, an intense blast of sonic energy sweeps across the room.
Caught by surprise, Miles finds himself flung across the room, his back hitting the wall with a thud. Before he can even let out a gasp, a spider web shoots out, pinning him securely against the wall. There he hangs, suspended, his eyes wide with shock and confusion. His breath comes in shallow gasps as he attempts to comprehend what just happened. Well its safe to say he didn’t saw that coming.
Miles, still stuck against the wall, manages to blurt out, "Who are you?"
"Who am I?" you echo, incredulity lacing your tone. "You break into my son's room and ask me whoI am?"
Your mind races as Miles stammers, "Wait, your son's room? Wait, are you...are you a Spider-person aswell?"
Ignoring his question, you stride towards him, an aura of threat radiating off you. "Stop talking!" you command, "I ask the questions!" In your hand, a ball of solar energy forms, crackling with power and casting a glow across the room.
"Why are you here? Where is my son?" The words are more of a growl than a question, the motherly instincts in you sending waves of danger rippling across the room. "Your son is okay, please don't hurt me!" Miles pleads with a shaky fear laced voice.
Squirmy and visibly frightened, Miles stammers out his confession, "We-we took him...it was our mission... He's an anomaly...we needed to get him out of this universe, send him to his own, so it wouldn’t collapse and interfere with the multiverse...but he doesn't have one, and I'm so sorry..."
His voice dwindles to a murmur, words tumbling over one another in his haste. Amidst his ramblings, your icy inquiry slices through like a blade, "Who instructed you?"
A sharp wince contorts his face, betraying his fear. "Our boss..." he starts, his voice barely above a whisper, "Miguel... Miguel O'Hara."
The energy in your hand dissipates, leaving only shock in its place. It's almost too much to take in - the idea that Miguel, your Miguel, could have done something like this. "He's okay, we... we didn't know he was the son of a Spider-woman. I'm Miles Morales, by the way." he introduces himself, attempting to inject some normalcy into the situation.
"I'm Spider-Sun," you respond automatically, your voice sounding distant to your own ears.
"Wait … you?" Miles' eyes widen in recognition. "You're Sunny?" When you give a numb nod in response, he continues, "You look more like 'Stormy' if you ask me." Your gaze snaps to Miles, the intensity of your death glare immediately silencing his attempt at humour. "Sorry, sorry," he stammers, raising his hands in surrender. "I just...I've heard Gwen and Peter talk about you."
"They never stop talking about you," Miles continues, trying to regain his composure. "They always say you have such a radiant personality and how much they miss you. They take care of your son, don’t worry. Hes safe for now.” 
"What do you mean he's safe 'for now'?" you cut him off abruptly, your voice cold and hard. Miles gulps nervously before responding.
"Eh...we have until morning to find a solution for this...anomaly," he stammers. You interrupt him, seething with a fury that makes him cringe. "My son's name is Gabriel. He is not an 'anomaly'," you spit out the words like they are poison, hating the way they make your sweet little boy sound like some kind of mistake.
"Eh, yes, for Gabriel," Miles corrects hastily, "because, eh... if we don't find an alternative, they need to, eh...eliminate..." He trails off, speaking so quickly and softly that you almost don't catch his last word.
"ELIMINATE?????" You scream and for a split second, Miles is sure he sees your eyes blaze with a terrifying, luminating light. 
"We can stop them. We can talk to them and say it's your son," Miles says quickly, desperately hoping to calm you.
"I don't talk. Bring me to my son," you demand. Without wasting another moment, you order him to open the portal. "Y-yes, right away, Sunn... eh, Mrs. Sun, eh... Ma'am," he stammers, visibly trembling under your steely gaze.
 It takes him two shaky attempts before he manages to successfully open the portal, his hands still unsteady from the encounter.
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Back at the headquarters, Peter chases after Miguel into his office. "Boss, all I'm saying is, what if Lyla is wrong?"
Miguel is pinching the bridge of his nose, a deep sigh escaping his lips. The weight of the situation is quickly becoming too overwhelming and he feels himself teetering dangerously close to his breaking point.
Just at that moment, Gwen, Pav, Margo and Hobie burst into the office, their faces set withdetermination. "Miguel, there’s something you need to know.  Please hear us out. Margo and I, we found something.Lyla is - ," Gwen starts but Miguel is quick to silence her with a raised hand.
Just as Miguel is about to speak, the lights flicker, casting an ominous glow throughout the room. Hobie looks around nervously. "Is that eh...normal?"
Peter quirks an eyebrow. "Did you forget to pay the electricity bill?" 
The lights flicker even more violently, plunging the room into a dance of shadow and light.
With a violent burst, the door is flung open, and a brilliant surge of light blinds everyone. You stand in the doorway, an ethereal aura glowing around you.
"O'Hara!" Your voice thunders through the room, heavy with wrath and revenge. As Miguel turns around to face the source of the sound, a massive, lightning-tinged sonar blast slams directly into his chest. He's pushed backward, knocked off balance before he can brace himself for the attack. He tries to recoverr, to shift into defense mode but he doesn't get the chance. You're relentless, a solar goddess in human form, hurtling blast after blast at him. Miguel has no time to regain his stance, each attack landing with more force than the last. 
Gwen makes to step forward, her instincts screaming at her to intervene, but Peter grabs her arm, pulling her back. "That's Sunny," he says, his voice a mixture of awe and concern. Hobie's eyes widen comically. He cocks his head, a smirk playing on his lips. "Our Sunny, eh? Blimey, I never knew she had it in her. That rebellious firecracker," he mutters, a distinct note of admiration creeping into his typically laid-back British drawl.
Miles bursts into the room, breathless and disheveled. He stumbles towards Gwen, his voice hurried and concerned, "I tried to stop her, but she was...she was furious. Woahhh, I've never seen Miguel get beaten like this before."
And he wasn't exaggerating. Miguel was fighting back, his fangs bared, his claws out and ready but he was no match for your rage-fueled attacks. You were right up in his face, delivering punch after punch at a brutal pace
"Where's my son, O’Hara? What have you done to him?" you demand, your voice cutting through the chaos like a blade.
At your words, Miguel's movements falter. His defense wavers, and he barely manages to gasp out, "Your son?" He doesn't dodge your next blow, doesn't attempt to shield himself or strike back. Instead, he allows you to continue.
Miguel is shocked. His reflexes kick in as he sees the next punch coming and he grabs your wrist, halting your next powerful punch aimed for his face. He locks eyes with you, his gaze holding an emotion you've never seen in him before. Is it fear? No, it's much deeper, more profound.
As he stares at you, your luminescent eyes gradually lose their fiery intensity, shifting back to their human form.
"I... I didn't know," Miguel stammers, his voice a trembling whisper. "Lo – lo siento. I – I didn’t know.”
His breaths are ragged, and you can see a war waging inside him.
"But...how?How didn’t I know?" His voice is choked, your wrist still securely in his grip. “Your son?” Miguel continues,his voice is barely above a whisper. His eyes search yours and all he sees is raw, untamed anger with an aching pain that pierces his soul.
“Yes, MY son!” your voice echoes through the room like a whip. “Did you think that you could just take him from me? That I wouldn't come for him?”
Miguel’s grip on your wrist loosens as he stumbles back. His heart feels like it’s about to explode as realization dawns on him. The dark curls, the small fangs the baby had bared at him –pieces of a puzzle start falling into place. His own blood runs cold.
“Where is he, Miguel? Where’s myGabriel?” your voice breaks as you say the name, and it feels like another punch to Miguel's gut.
“Gabr...” Miguel chokes. “No... no...”
His voice is barely audible, the air knocked out of him by the significance of the name. His knees buckle, and he falls on the floor. "NO."
“You, who I thought would protect any child, wanted to eliminate my – our – flesh and blood!” Tears, full of anger and hurt, stream down your face, but your voice doesn't waver one bit. 
Miguel, still on the floor, looks up at you with tear-streaked cheeks. “I didn’t know. I swear on my life, on Gabriella’s memory. I-I wanted to do the right thing. I- I never, -Lo siento.” 
There’s a moment of tense silence as you look down at the shattered man before you,the love of your life, the father of your child, who almost made the most horrifying, unforgivable mistake.
Just then, from another room, the faint sound of a baby's cries pierce through the heavy atmosphere. You abruptly yank your wrist out of his grasp and towards the door to leave.
Your heart clenches as you break into a run, following the pitiful cries. You don’t look back.
Miguel remains on his knees. He doenst follow you, he doesn’t dare to move, anchored by the crushing weight of what he's done, as the sounds of Gabriel's cries fade into the background.
"Gabriel," he whispers, the name escaping his lips like a vow. A promise of redemption. And with that single word, Miguel knows he'll move heaven and earth to protect his child.
Part 4 "Webs of Redemption"
Hello, you wonderful souls! I want to say a big thank you for your patience and kind words about this series. I really appreciate each of your sweet comments and messages – they mean so much to me. Thank you all for the insightful ideas and suggestions you contributed for part 3. I've incorporated as many of your concepts as I could because they're simply brilliant. I'm eager to hear more of your thoughts, criticisms, and proposals for part 4. I also want to give a special thanks to Jess, @wolfjessedragon . Her inspiration and amazing ideas were the driving force behind Part 3, and I couldn't have written it without her! love you guys, keep being awesome!
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arminsumi · 8 months
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First request ever: Can you make a story about Gojo, where their both in a relationship but gojo had to end it because he was afraid that she would be in danger?
Thank you! Keep up the good work, I love your stories!!!
LET ME MARRY YOU
↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader
The risk of dating you his too much for him to handle, so he breaks it off, only for him to come back to your doorstep years later and ask: "Let me marry you."
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2k
Note : istg each time i edited this... the wordcount grew lol. i hope u enjoyyy 🥹💗 tysm for enjoying my work it means everything
Warnings : angst -> fluff (?) -> happy ending trust me, Shibuya arc spoilers (Ep 9), manga spoilers (chapter 221)
🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works / oct. reqs open
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The risk of dating you is thrilling when Satoru's just a teenager in puppy love. But as he grows older, and heads into those dreaded 20s, the risk makes him more and more nervous.
What if something happens to you?
He presses kiss after kiss to your forehead and feels his chest tremble, feels his lips quiver, as he refrains from telling you the truth about the Jujutsu world. Satoru just can't do it.
There are so many instances of him saving you from curses that you're oblivious about. He just smiles strangely, and you wonder why he looks like he's just seen a ghost. Because he has, those pretty eyes see ghosts. But those pretty eyes also see you, "What am I looking at?" he responds after you ask why he's looking at you so tenderly, "I'm looking at my future wife." he flirts just to fluster you.
That's at the cafe, when things are still simple. He keeps thinking to himself, as he lays with you in bed some nights;
I want to marry you.
I'm going to marry you.
Please let me be your husband one day.
As if he's trying to manifest it.
Everything is okay-ish... until he gets pangs of fright when your name starts to be known outside of his closed circle of friends.
It's October 11th.
Gojo Satoru breaks up with you.
He leads you to believe that the two of you are just "right person, wrong time". It all hurts an incomprehensible amount for him, to finally cut the string that tethers the two of you together.
He sits on the stairs, head in his hands, mourning.
He starts many mornings with crying spells that last until midday.
He destroys evidence of you and him. In case anyone ever finds it and thus finds your apartment, or work, or college... or anything.
But he can't part with a very special photo. It's you and him in Okinawa, sharing a cheesy kiss at the beach. In the moment this photo was captured, Gojo remembers having whispered some dirty joke in your ear and that's why you smiled so big into his kiss.
He drifts to sleep to the lullaby lovesongs that defined your love.
Years pass, he refuses to even talk to you. The heartbreak worsens with time, he laughs when he realizes that on his 27th birthday.
Isn't time supposed to heal all wounds? Someone said that to him once. Well, they must have been lying without realizing it.
The day Gojo Satoru is sealed, he looks into Suguru's eyes, and remembers you through them. When he resides in that awful prison realm, he only thinks of you you you you you you you oh god he misses you so much that it feels like the very thought of your smile stabs his chest. Every memory is painful. Every flashback puts one more crack in his heart.
"Can't I ever catch a break...?" He laughs to himself, chattering skeletons making their eerie symphony around him.
He thinks. Ponders. Wonders. Broods. Daydreams. All about you. Always about you. Never anything else. Just his first love, from the late spring of his 17th year.
His earthly goddess.
The purpose of his benevolent actions.
He cries. And sobs. And weeps. Because no one can hear him but the skeletons and he's sure they don't mind the sight or sound of a 27 man howling in pain over a lost lover.
It's not just your relationship that he's mourning. But the fact he can't feel you in this cube... that he can't feel your presence in the world... that's worse than the heartbreak. At least through all these years, he's been able to sense your existence. Feel the subtle ripples of your soul no matter how distant you are; you'd be stood in a coffee shop, he'd be at Jujutsu High teaching, and yet feeling you.
Because as he promised to you at 17, "Half my soul is yours. And half your soul is mine. I'll always be with you even if I'm not there."
He has the biggest breakdown of his life in that little cramped suffocating claustrophobic eerie creepy box.
It's 19 days later. He's out. He's back in the world. And he feels the sense of you, your existence, swelling in his chest, tickling his mind, prodding his heart.
"Gojo sensei, where are you headed?"
"I'm gonna go find my other half." he says cryptically.
It's a stark bright day.
Gojo Satoru knocks at your apartment door.
You open it.
He looks at you, and you look at him.
"Hi."
"...hey...? Wow. Haha... you grew into your features, huh?"
Your voice fills his heart with life.
"You too... glad you still live in the same place... I was worried you might have moved out..."
"... Ah, Satoru, you'd be able to find me no matter what corner of the world I resided in."
Your laugh fills his mind with pleasant memories.
There's an a magnetism between you and him just like there always used to be. It feels like two magnets connecting at last, after feeling the distant attraction throughout all these years of distance.
"You're right." Satoru says after a silence of just staring into your eyes.
"I'll always find my way home."
A silence ensues after he says this.
"...haha... don't cry... or I'll cry..."
"... Satoru... I thought of you every day after you left me at the station."
"... me too."
"... why did you leave?"
He stares at you.
"... I was scared of you being in danger."
He gulps.
"Me? In danger? But you're the strongest, why would it matter."
Oh god that's right. You said it then when you were 17, "You're the strongest" and he carried that title with him from then. And now you've said it again. He's reminded. He feels a bit stupid. A bit ridiculous. A bit...
"You're right..." he chokes up. "I am. I could have protected you I guess..."
"... yeah, duh."
He smiles meekly.
It was more complicated than that, sweetheart. But I won't tell you.
He hesitates. He contemplates.
"I have to tell you everything... will you promise to believe everything I say even if it sounds insane?"
"Of course. What is it?"
He inhales deeply. And instead of blurting out his whole life story of being a sorcerer in the Jujutsu world, he just leans in and kisses you hard and truthfully. Cups your cheeks. Closes his eyes. Tastes you like a sweet from his childhood that he hasn't had for years. Presses to you. Takes in your scent.
Yeah yeah... he'll tell you everything in a minute.
But for now just let him kiss you until he runs out of breath.
Let him just...
"Hey..." he pulls away, gasping, "Let me marry you."
"Haha, Satoru..." you take it as a joke and laugh, because it sounds as bizarre and unexpected as one. Then you realize there's that serious look on his face. "... Satoru?"
"Can I?"
"... what?"
"Can I please?"
"... huh??"
"Can I marry you, please?"
He looks at you and waits for your answer. His poor heart. It's palpitating. His whole chest cavity inspires with love for you. This man that you haven't seen in years has just asked if you'll let him marry you — with very specific wording.
Can he? Will you let him?
It's funny in a way, because you think to yourself; this is such a Satoru thing to do... show up unannounced years later on your doorstep and ask for your hand in marriage as if no time has passed, as if you know the full story.
"Satoru... what happened to you throughout these years for you to come back to me and ask for my hand in marriage?" you ask, genuinely baffled.
He swallows slowly. "I know I sound like I've lost my mind. But I promise I haven't."
"That's hard to believe. The Satoru I remember was always on the brink of mania. A bit insane but not quite."
You make him laugh. "Yeah..."
"So are you asking to marry me out of insanity?"
"No."
"Well alright then. I guess I'll marry you."
You make him laugh again, with that funny tone. He hasn't laughed genuinely in years... it's always been that plastic laugh. But this is his genuine laugh. Silky and quiet. The opposite of his demeanor.
"I guess I should be explaining everything to you properly... before I ask you something like that."
"You're damn right..."
"... don't scold me too hard when I tell you all the reasons I left. Or, if you do, then at least hold me while you scold me. And run your fingers through my hair like you used to."
"Satoru."
"Yes?"
His heart throbs. He looks at you.
"Stop standing at the doorway and come inside."
"Oh."
You sigh. He smiles. Then he bows his head so it doesn't hit the top of the doorframe. Damn tiny Tokyo apartments. Your archway always had it out for the crown of his head. You laugh when he bumps into it just like he always used to.
So the two of you sit down and just talk. And talk. Maybe cry a bit. Actually, you cry a lot. And he holds you. And he says he's sorry. He says sorry over and over, as if the word is a bandage he's trying to wrap around all your heartbreak wounds that he caused.
"I'm sorry."
Satoru's apologies aren't easy to come by, and when you receive them, they nurse your heart. It's the gentleness with which he says it, and earnest too. Each successive sorry means more than the last.
"My angel..."
When you call him this after he vents to you about his time in the Prison Realm, and his overwhelming duty of being the strongest, he breaks down completely and just weeps in your arms.
He sobs like you've never heard him sob before, like a dog.
Finally. At least for a moment. He could be weak. Let down his guard. Be raw. Be emotional. Not a teacher. Not a sorcerer. Just your boy. Your Satoru.
Your consolation is all he wanted throughout these years. He looks up at you, eyes red and sore, nose sniffling, and stares at you like he can see your soul.
"...Satoru?"
"Marry me."
You chuckle again.
"If that will stop your tears..." you joke.
He sniffles loudly and swallows, composing himself.
"I thought about marrying you so much when we were together... 'n I tried so hard to bite my tongue when your name nearly rolled off it while talking to my students some days. I was always..."
On the verge of saying your name.
He sniffles long and hard and waits for your hand to weave into his hair.
"Will you think about it?"
"I will."
There's a silence. Satoru feels hopeful. He lays on your chest, arms around you like you're his whole world that he won't dare let go of again.
"There." you say with finality. "I thought about it. Let's get married."
"That took you, like, ten seconds."
You laugh with him. "Yeah... I already knew in my heart when you asked me at the doorway... you know... Satoru... it's funny. When you left, it felt like half my soul was gone. And when you knocked on my doorstep, it felt like I was whole again. Does that sound freaky, or does it tie into all this... Juju... Jujutsu stuff?"
He's silent.
"I have no idea."
"Wow. My future husband isn't knowledgeable at all." you joke.
His heart flutters at 'future husband'.
"Sorry." he says, smiling softly, "My mind is blank when your fingers are running through my hair."
The two of you go on and on, until you're laid in bed sleeping at each other's side. Resting. And god, did Gojo Satoru need a good rest.
In your arms, he's no longer an insomniac.
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© arminsumi
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Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
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