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7s3ven · 2 months

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THE IDEA OF US. theodore nott

( master list )

IN WHICH… the saddest thing in a relationship is knowing you met the wrong person at the wrong time yet you still can’t let them go.

“She’ll be the best you ever had if you let her. I know it’s for the better.”

A/N : This took me at least a week to right, omg

Warnings : toxic relationship, swearing, ed (eating d1sorder) mentioned, mental illness, mentions of sex, dirty jokes, making out, y/n and theo are both bitches, vulgar language, angst

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Y/N L/N and Theodore Nott had been good friends for years. And their families had known each other for much longer. Since childhood, the two had been attached at the hip and nothing changed when they were accepted into Hogwarts.

“Y/N.” Theo called out, jogging to catch up with the girl. She turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

“No, you can’t copy my answers, Theo. I told you to do the homework yourself.”

Theo sheepishly smiled. The day he was supposed to be studying, he was at a party. Y/N was there too, though she had already completed all her assignments and could drink without a care. Y/N had always been the better at academics out of the two.

“Change of topic, are you going to the Malfoy ball?” Theo asked. Y/N almost scoffed. She had no choice and neither did he. If their parents were going, they had to as well.

“Duh. What’s the color of your suit?”

“Dark blue. Apparently I look better in navy according to my mother.”

“Debatable.” Y/N hummed.

“Your dress?”

“Also dark blue. Matching. Again.” Y/N sarcastically smiled.

They seemed to coincidentally match for every important event; this was the fifth time. Y/N wasn’t sure if it was accidental anymore considering their mothers always chose their clothes for these events.

Theo chuckled, “I think our parents are up to something.”

“You just noticed?”

“Well, sorry I don’t pay that much attention to people like you.”

“Yeah, you’re too busy undressing girls with your eyes to notice.”

“The only girl I’m undressing is you and I don’t need my eyes for it. My hands can do that for me.” Theo smugly smirked while Y/N’s face scrunched up in disgust. She pushed him, causing the brunette to crash into a nearby stone wall. He winced, which amused Y/N.

“Think twice before you try and get me in bed, Nott.”

Theodore Nott was a handsome fellow with his slightly curled hair, messy tie, and the smell of cigarettes blending in with his strong cologne. As embarrassing as it was to admit, Y/N wasn’t opposed to the idea of kissing him. He was attractive after all but still her best friend. It was never a good idea to date someone you saw every day because once you broke up, it became too awkward to bear.

That wasn’t the only reason. The main reason were Theo’s eyes. His gaze was constantly bored and dead, even when he was around beautiful girls. He never showed emotion apart from the smug smirk Y/N liked to wipe off his face. If she dated him, would he still he bored? Showing appreciation was never his strong point.

Theo slung his arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “I was thinking that since you don’t like potions and I don’t either, we could take a little detour. Sneak in a cig or two. Maybe even some forbidden romance.”

For two years, Theo had been playfully flirting with Y/N. Nobody batted an eye, already assuming that the pair had something going on. Y/N could still remember the first terrible pickup line Theo had used on her after the Christmas break.

Y/N was walking down the steps that led to the girls’ dorms. She adjusted her tie so it wasn’t choking her to death. Her blouse and skirt were a size too small because she, or rather her parents, had forgotten to order a new uniform.

She spotted her usual friend group consisting of the highest-ranking Slytherins all perched upon the couches next to the fireplace. As she waltzed towards them, Theo lifted his head and for a moment, Y/N swore there was a flash of emotion before it disappeared.

“Matt, have you seen Pansy? She wasn’t in the dorm when I woke up.” Y/N placed a hand on Matteo’s shoulder like she always did. He turned to look at her, startled.

“Y/N, I didn’t even recognise you.”

“Seriously, Matt?”

“What? You’ve changed a lot!”

“My boobs just got bigger.”

Matteo’s eyes flickered down before he nodded. “Yeah, I can see that.”

Theo leaned over to smack Matteo’s head. “Stop staring at her chest, you idiot.” As always, he came to Y/N’s rescue, even when she didn’t exactly need it.

“Matteo was right, though.” Theo piped up as he walked Y/N to class. “You have changed.” He heard her laugh. “I’m serious. It’s the way you carry yourself, not just your face.”

Theo was her best friend but he had never been so… gentle with her. He fanned his face with his hand, loudly exhaling. “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

It took Y/N a moment to realise what he was implying. She stared at him, unamused. “Never talk to me again.”

“I’ll take you up on that cigarette offer.” Y/N uttered, “But not the romance. Stay six meters away from me.”

That’s how Y/N and Theo ended up in the latter’s room, sharing one of Matteo’s cigarettes and laughing.

“Okay, but seriously. How many cloaks do you think Snape has in his wardrobe.” Y/N asked as she took the thin blunt from Theo.

He blew out a cloud of smoke. “He changes? I thought he lived in one.” An amused grin spread across the Slytherin’s face. “How many students do you think have accidentally patted Mcgonagall thinking she was a normal cat?”

“Plenty, I’m sure.” Y/N turned her head, almost jolting when her nose brushed Theo’s. “Ew, why are you so close?” She said it teasingly, grinning at her friend who was strangely silent.

“Sorry.” He whispered.

In all honesty, Theo wasn’t having much luck containing the thought of kissing Y/N either. The first few years of school were purely platonic but once everybody started to grow up, Theo found himself in an unusual predicament; he had feelings for his best friend.

“If you want to kiss me, you could’ve just said so.” It was another playful jab at Theo but with all the smoke rushing to his head, he took it literally. Y/N didn’t expect him to grab her by the chin, forcefully pushing his lips against hers like he had been starved of kissing, which she knew wasn’t true. She had seen Theo kissing a brunette girl at a party weeks ago. Yet he hadn’t kissed her with such passion.

Theo was the first to pull away, his chest heaving up and down. Y/N remained still. She parted her lips to say something but no word rolled off her tongue.

“Theo.” She finally said. “What was that?”

“I thought you were being serious.” He was still unbearably close, his strong cologne washing over Y/N and clouding her senses. “We don’t have to talk about it… but I needed it. Let me have this, Y/N.”

She had never heard Theo beg. It sparked a fire of warmth in her chest. “Ask nicely.” She muttered. Theo paused for a short moment before he thickly swallowed.

“Please.”

The moment the word slipped past his lips in such a delicate way, Y/N leaned forward. Theo tilted his head back as their lips met once more, hands clumsily trailing over each other’s bodies and holding their breaths to make the kiss last longer.

Theo felt ashamed that he was kissing his friend but in the moment, that was the last thing on his mind. All he could focus on was Y/N. She was practically on top of him, easily taking control while he was reduced to putty.

Y/N with her perfect hair and untainted uniform.

Y/N with her chuckles of amusement at Theo’s reactions.

She was all that occupied his mind. He repeated her name in his head like a mantra, never stopping until they were wrapped and tangled in his bed sheets.

They never spoke of that particular day but a new spark had been born; one that consumed both their lives. Everybody noticed the not-so-secretive looks Theo sent Y/N and the small shared smiles in between classes. Like old times, Theo never left Y/N’s side. He paid no attention to other girls, not when his arm was wrapped around Y/N as she laughed with Pansy and made fun of Matteo. And despite the pair silently vowing the incident where they ended up in Theo’s bed together would not occur a second time, it always happened again.

The holidays finally arrived and the pinochle event of the wizarding world was finally drawing in; the Malfoy ball.

“Where’s Y/N?” Pansy was the last of the group to arrive at the manor, holding a bag that contained her dress and her extensive collection of makeup.

“Coming later.” Theo said, running a hand through his hair.

The whole group had decided to meet at the Malfoy Manor to get ready. Everybody but Y/N. This wasn’t unusual behaviour for her; she always stated how she worked better alone. Theo almost laughed at the memory of how she’d always refuse to do group work.

“How do you know that?” Draco piped up.

Theo casually shrugged as if he hadn’t spent two hours with Y/N. “I saw her on my way. She’ll probably arrive when the event starts.”

Pansy pouted. “I wanted her to help me with my dress.”

“I’ll help.” Draco said a little too quickly. Matteo and Lorenzo snickered together, playing kicking kissing faces at the platinum blond.

“Oh, shut up you morons.” Draco hissed as he followed Pansy to the bathroom to help her. As soon as he was gone, Lorenzo and Matteo chose Theo as their new victim.

“So, I couldn’t help but notice a little romance thing going on between you and a certain H/C-nette.” Matteo coolly uttered, resting an arm on Theo’s shoulder.

Lorenzo subtly rolled his eyes. “Who hasn’t noticed? It’s quite obvious.”

“There’s nothing going on between us.” Theo muttered, adjusting his tie.

“Yeah. That bracelet on your arm says otherwise.” Matteo fired back. Theo almost started cursing at him. He had forgotten how he jokingly slid on one of Y/N’s bracelets. To make matters worse, not only were her initials carved into the silver but so was her full name.

“Coincidence.” Theo grumbled, quickly pocketing the bracelet.

“What about you two always sneaking off? You love staying at parties until the end but lately, you’ve been disappearing. Into rooms. With you-know-who.” Lorenzo was ganging up on Theo as well, much to his annoyance.

“I’m not fucking Matteo’s dad.” Theo retorted.

“When I said you-know-who, I meant Y/N!”

“I know! It was a joke, Enzo!” Theo huffed, his gaze darting back to the large mirror in front of him.

“We hear you, by the way.” Matteo whispered. “The walls are thin and we have to hang out in Blaise’s dorm when the door is closed because we know what’s happening.”

“Oh, please. Please. Yes, right there.” Lorenzo mocked, copying the noises he had heard mere days ago. Theo’s cheeks flushed red.

“That’s not me.” He was already losing to Matteo and Lorenzo’s little game but he stood firm.

“Hm. Right.” Matteo didn’t believe his friend’s words for one second. “Well, I better get dressed. Guests will be arriving soon. Can’t wait to see your little principessa or whatever you call her in bed.” He walked off, cackling like a hyena. Only Lorenzo was left.

“Just confess to her, dude. She probably feels the same way.” Lorenzo matted Theo’s back before he followed after Matteo, needing to get dressed as well.

Theo found himself alone in the glittering ballroom, still waiting for his late companions. He swirled the champagne around in his glass in boredom, almost wanting to spill it on someone to watch their reaction.

“All by yourself, Nott?”

Theo didn’t waste any time in spinning around. “Y/N.” He stated. She was staring up at him, focused on his eyes like she always was. Sometimes Theo wondered if he could see the slight joy in his gaze whenever she was around.

“Where are the others?” She questioned.

“I’m not sure. Right now, it’s just me.”

Y/N smiled. “That’s good because I was looking forward to spending more time with you.” As if they didn’t spend enough time together as they were.

“Isn’t it funny how our mothers dressed us up in not only the same color, but the same shade, as well?” Theo grinned. “Same fabric too. Are they trying to tell us something?”

“What? That we should date?”

Theo deeply hummed. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” He placed his glass on a nearby table, his attention focused solely on Y/N. “The party’s just started so let’s find a way to pass the time.”

Y/N grasped his tie, pulling him forward. “You’re on, Nott.”

They found themselves in a dark and crowded room filled with old antiques. Theo harshly kissed Y/N, tightly gripping her waist. In the midst of the heated moment, three words that Y/N dreaded accidentally slipped past her lips.

“I love you.” She froze, realising what she had said out of impulse.

“That’s too bad.” Theo joked but his words still made her heart sink and she felt numb in the actions that followed their kisses.

Nobody was shocked when they returned to Hogwarts to find that Y/N, who never liked anyone, and Theo, who only engaged in casual relationships, were dating. It was expected because they hardly spent any time apart, which made room for romantic feelings.

Theo knocked on Y/N’s dorm door. Somehow, he had found a way past the charm placed on the stairs. “Hey, the Ravenclaws are having a party. Wanna go? The whole gang is going.” He stepped into her room that she shared with Pansy and two other Slytherin girls.

Y/N was sitting on a desk pushed into the corner next to a window, overlooking the scenery. “Don’t feel like it.” She muttered, busy writing an essay for who knows what. Theo faltered.

“Are you sure? Otherwise I’ll go with Mel.”

Y/N paused and she slowly glanced over her shoulder. “Mel?” She raised her eyebrows in a condescending way. “Who’s that?”

“One of Pansy’s friends but she’s cool. She’s the one who invited us anyway.”

“Okay.” Y/N turned back to her work without uttering another word, leaving Theo frustrated.

“Why are you mad?” He questioned, taking a step forward.

“I’m not.” The monotone sound of Y/N’s voice made it clear that she was. “You can go to the party, I don’t care.”

“I wasn’t asking for your permission.”

“And I wasn’t asking you to bring up another girl.”

Theo clenched his jaw. Y/N had been in a jealous state for over a week. Every time Theo simply accidentally glanced at another girl, she grew mad.

He spun Y/N’s chair around, firmly placing his hands on her shoulders so she couldn’t shove him away. He could smell her expensive body lotion and perfume as it washed over him. “What the fuck is going on with you?” He seethed, “You’ve been like this all week. I don’t fucking know what you want, Y/N.”

“I want you to stop paying attention to other girls. Easy.” She shrugged.

“Maybe I wouldn’t need to look at other girls if you were more laid-back.” The biting words rolled off Theo’s tongue before he could stop them. Annoyance clouded his brain but he knew he’d come to regret it when he saw that glint of anger in Y/N’s eyes.

“I’m asking for the bare minimum, Theo.”

He didn’t even know what she was asking at this point.

Y/N clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes like she always did. “Go to the party, see if I care. Maybe Mel is more laidback than me.”

With a strong push, Y/N shoved Theo back. She walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. Theo stood in the same spot for a moment, trying to register what had happened. He heard the faint sound of the bath water running; Y/N always had relaxing baths when she was stressed.

“Come to the party if you change your mind.” Theo called out in a futile attempt to make amends. All he got in reply was a loud hum.

Theo wasn’t too sure when their relationship went downhill. It was great for a while in the honeymoon phase until the arguments started.

Theo would scream at Y/N for not eating so she could use that time to study until her nose bled and she passed out from exhaustion.

Y/N would accuse Theo of cheating because he spent about as much time with other girls as he did with Y/N and his friends. It wasn’t his fault he was a heartthrob.

After every fight, they made peace and promised not to let their mistakes happen again. But they always did because history repeats itself until you learn from it. Perhaps Theo and Y/N were like two puzzle pieces that didn’t exactly match but you forced them to anyway.

“Theo.” Mel’s hand brushed his shoulder as she handed him a dark bottle of beer. “What’s on your mind?”

Mel smelled like roses and sweet strawberries while Y/N’s perfume was always addictive and deep. They were complete opposites but Theo had always preferred Y/N’s.

“Y/N.” Theo grumbled, taking a gulp from the bottle.

“She’s always causing problems.” It was not Mel’s place to say such a thing but she wasn’t wrong.

“I don’t know. She’s been so paranoid and it’s just rubbing me the wrong way. She gets mad at me every five minutes, even for shit I don’t do. She’ll blame Matteo’s tricks on me.”

Mel shifted closer to Theo, their hands accidentally brushing. She smiled. “You’ve told me about all this before. Why don’t you just break up?”

Theo almost wanted to laugh. Him? Break up with Y/N? She was a L/N, a prestigious family that stood above everybody else. He’d need to have a death wish to leave her. The only way he could get out unscathed was if Y/N broke up with him or if it was mutual.

Mel’s finger trailed up his thigh and despite Theo giving her a look to stop, he didn’t grasp her wrist.

His stomach sank in dread as someone behind him cleared their throat. “Is “one of Pansy’s friends” now code for a new fuck buddy?” Y/N leaned over, her warm breath hitting Theo’s neck. He could feel the anger radiating off her. “Nice one, Nott. You almost had me convinced you’d settled down.”

Theo was up in a heartbeat, practically pushing Mel away from him. He raced after Y/N, who had already exited the Ravenclaw common room. She was now quickly pacing through the dimly lit corridors, no particular location in mind.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Theo shouted, his voice echoing. He was expecting Y/N to speed up but instead, she spun around and grabbed him by the collar.

“What were you doing with her, huh?” Y/N hissed, “Just because you’ve finally tied me down doesn’t mean you can go and not put effort into this relationship!”

“I was only talking to her!”

“Well, it didn’t look purely platonic! Her hand was on your thigh and you didn’t even stop her!”

“That’s just the way girls are with me! What am I supposed to do, huh? You can’t ban me from talking to other people!”

Y/N shoved Theo, “You are so frustrating! You never take anything seriously!”

“And you take everything too literally. I was just talking to her! Nothing else!”

“She looked like she wanted to fucking kiss you! And she was probably going to!”

“Everybody wants to kiss me! Where’s the problem in that, huh?! You kiss me!”

“The problem is you have a fucking girlfriend!”

“You’re the one always talking to other guys like some…” Theo spluttered, tripping over his own words in search of a retort. “Some sort of slut!” As always, he immediately regretted his words. Y/N’s face morphed into a look of fury.

“I have been loyal from day one!” She screeched, “The thought of cheating has never crossed my mind so don’t you dare call me a slut when you know the only person here willing to cheat would be you!”

Y/N and Theo stared at each other, panting heavily. “Fuck you.” Theo whispered.

“Why don’t you go back to the party and fuck Mel instead, huh?” Y/N wittily snapped back. The last of Theo’s calmness finally broke and he grabbed Y/N by the shoulder, shoving her into an empty classroom and locking the door behind him.

“Mel is only a friend. She’s not my girlfriend, you are. I have never thought of cheating either and the fact you accuse me of it is preposterous.”

“Using big words now, are you?” Even in a locked room with someone who could easily throw her out the window, Y/N was making annoyingly smart remarks.

Theo spoke again, only it wasn’t in English. He angrily spoke in full Italian, yelling at her. Y/N had learnt a few words for his sake but she found it hard to keep up.

The fast words slipped past Theo’s lips and he paused, waiting for Y/N to answer as if she actually understood him. She awkwardly smiled. “Uh… Sì?”

“At least you know that word. Mel doesn’t know any Italian so who’s the better one between you two, huh? I’ll give you a hint. I like girls who attempt to learn my language.”

“So get Mel to learn it.”

“I love you, not her.” Theo insisted.

“It’s too late for that.”

Theo let out a quiet sigh as Y/N unlocked the door. She paused, waiting for him to call out for her again. He didn’t.

“Have fun.” She grumbled.

Theo ran his tongue over his teeth before he grabbed Y/N’s shoulder. “Every time we argue, we don’t try to resolve it. So we’re going to work it out right here, right now.”

“Don’t you have a girl to get back to?” Y/N sneered.

“See, that’s your problem. You’re insecure.”

Y/N scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. She wasn’t insecure; she was far from it. She was the most confident girl in the year.

“You get paranoid every time I talk to a girl. You’re controlling and you’re always accusing me of shit I would never do.”

“You cheated on your first girlfriend.” Y/N piped up, making Theo freeze. “What? You didn’t think I’d find out? Once a cheater, always a cheater, Nott.”

“So why’d you date me, huh?”

“You aren’t even going to defend yourself? I thought you were different because you were my friend. I thought you finally grew up but I don’t think you have. My problem is paranoia, yours is cheating. And don’t get me fucking started on the drinking and smoking.”

Theo clenched his jaw. “You wanna play that game, prissy princess? Okay. You have more than one problem. In fact, you have too many to count. You’re fucked in the head, narcissistic, you can’t fucking eat properly, and you think everybody likes you when in reality, we’re all waiting for your downfall. You aren’t as popular as you think. And the damn studying. You study so much that you get sick! Physically and mentally sick! You’re just setting yourself up for failure!”

“I warned you.” Y/N whispered, harshly poking Theo’s chest. “I warned you about me! I warned you about the mental issues, the eating disorders, the problems that will start showing! And like everybody else, you said “it’s fine, I’ll be able to handle it”. Then like everybody else, you want to back away the moment I show negative signs! Do you think I like being like this? Depressed, anxious, paranoid, starving, and barely able to eat?! Do you think I fucking like going to therapy?!”

“You may as well go to more sessions because you aren’t getting any better.”

“You’re an ass, Nott.”

“And you’re a bitch.”

“Did we resolve the issue like you wanted? Because if so, I’d like to return to my dorm so I can watch a movie with a love interest who isn’t a complete jerk and only thinks with his dick.” As always, Y/N was the first to storm off.

“You love my dick!” Theo shouted after her.

“Fuck you!” She pointed the middle finger at him without turning out.

Theo shoved his hands into his deep pockets, clicking his tongue. “Fuck.” He ran a hand through his hair, hoping it would fix his pounding headache. “I need a cigarette.”

Theo didn’t attend his classes the next day. And, by the looks of it and the remarks from Pansy, neither did Y/N. He stumbled across her in the astronomy tower, smoking one of her reserved cigarettes.

“You beat me to my spot.” Theo grunted, cautiously taking a seat beside Y/N. She didn’t shove him away. She only slowly blinked and nodded.

“You should go to potions.” She muttered, smoke seeping past her teeth.

They were both numb from their previous argument, too tired to fight again. Theo had stayed up all night, replaying Y/N’s words in his head and scolding himself. Y/N wasn’t any better. Pansy slipped her some vodka from the party and the events that followed after were hazed history.

“How’s Mel?” Y/N couldn’t stop herself from being snarky. She heard Theo scoff.

“Fuck, you can’t stop bringing her up for even five minutes?”

There were no apologies in their relationship. Perhaps they learn it from their parents who, every time they’d argue, would gift them with lavish gifts instead of saying sorry.

“Why should I? You can’t stop calling me a slut.”

“It was one time.”

An awkward silence settled between the pair before Theo drew in a heavy breath.

“I love you…” He muttered. Y/N thickly swallowed, blowing out another mouthful of smoke.

“If you loved me, we wouldn’t be doing this. We wouldn’t be going back and forth, continuously fighting and trying to one up each other. We wouldn’t be trying so hard to make this work when we know it’s going to fail.”

A pit settled in Theo’s stomach. “Are you… breaking up with me?” The sadness in Y/N’s eyes made it apparent.

“Face it, Theo, we aren’t a good match. The only other reason we got this far is because of our parents. Our parents wanted us to never friends, our parents wanted us to date, our parents want us to get married. What about what we want? What happens if we do get married? It’ll crash and burn. We don’t work. No matter how hard we try, we will never work.”

“But… I love you.”

Y/N shook her head, “That’s not enough this time.”

The sudden realisation that Theo was losing Y/N caused him to cup her face, pressing his forehead against his.

“There’s a difference between loving the idea of someone and actually loving them.” Y/N mumbled, “Us? We love the idea of each other. We are constantly stuck on the “what ifs” of our relationship? The possibilities. We are so obsessed with this relationship because we created a different version of each other in our heads when in reality, those version of us will never be true.”

Theo rested his head on Y/N’s shoulder. He knew she was only telling the truth but it still hurt. Maybe Y/N was the right person for him or maybe she wasn’t; all he knew was that they met at the wrong time.

“I love you too, Theo, but we have a problem even saying those simple words.”

Their breakup was inevitable once the arguments started. It was only a matter of time before the fighting became too frequent to ignore.

“So… this is it?” Theo muttered. “We’re finally breaking up?”

“We had a good run, Theo.” Y/N uttered, fiddling with her cigarette. She handed it to Theo, slightly smiling. “See you around… I guess.”

“You’re just… walking away?” Theo himself was cold sometimes but he didn’t expect it from Y/N. It was finally clear why she had been placed in Slytherin instead of Ravenclaw; she was as heartless as her friends.

“If I don’t walk away, Nott, then I’ll keep holding on when I know I need to let go.”

Nott. Y/N always called him that when she was angry or teasing him. She didn’t look angry this time, only sad. They’d see each other at meals for sure but it would never be the same because they’d no longer be holding hands under the table.

“See you at dinner.” Y/N said, her voice a hushed mutter. She feared that if she spoke any louder, Theo would hear her voice break and notice her glassy eyes.

“Yeah… see you.” Theo watched as Y/N walked off with no intention of chasing after her. He wanted to and it took all his power to fight the urges to hold her back. This was for the best. Theo knew he’d have to let go of Y/N eventually so that both of them could pursue a healthier relationship in the far future.

He’d always be thinking of her, though, day and night. He knew it’d be the same for Y/N because despite everything that had happened between them, they were still each other’s first loves.

Theo glanced down at the cigarette he held in his hand. He could see Y/N’s lipstick stain imprinted on it, the last reminder of the kisses they shared before it all burned down.

HP TAG LIST (comment to be added) : @jetblackpayne @rafeslittleangel @opheliamalfoy236

#theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #hp prompts #hp fanfic #hp fandom #slytherin #hufflepuff #gryffindor #ravenclaw #hogwarts houses #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #harry potter fanfiction #draco malfoy #lorenzo berkshire #pansy parkinson #matteo riddle #blaise zabini #angst #harry potter

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noodle-artist · 4 months

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Opinions on the new look 👀

Asthetically I love it… but thematically not so much…

Asthetically… I like how roughed up it looks. The stained helmet, converse and hoodie ❤️ kind of gives off skater boi vibes. Makes him look younger to me. I probably only like it cause it reminds me of all the clothes I have that are splattered with paint, holes and dirt.

Buuuuut even tho I like how it looks doesn’t mean it’s right. It’s kind of ooc cause Jason is a clean and organized kind of guy. Mr. I have all my weapons organized on the wall, my bed made, tea pot CLEAN, Knick knacks organized and displayed. He’d def keep his whole getup washed.

I will say tho if they are just dressing him up like this to give him what DC considers a “thug look” then imma be upset.

It doesn’t really bother me but it looks like they’re trying to push the Jason was the “rough and feral Robin” agenda again. I like the ball of sunshine Robin Jason was! Like **strives for 1st place at the science fair, helps grannies cross the street, take me out to the ball game** kind of happy go lucky lookin kid.

But I still love the Jason Todd that slapped Bruce with a tire iron and called him a big boob. They can be the same person.

As for the older Jason look, as always he looks older then he actually is. In a similar way to how I like the red hood suit… I like the idea of the white eyes and scars tho. But logically Jasons body prob had severe burns on top of all the lacerations from the crowbar and the pit prob healed up a lot of those burns and lacerations. So these scars are prob from his own late nights fighting crime… which are a lot considering he wears… a helmet 🤨

I’m prob being a bit over critical but consistency matters. If you have your character constantly changing it makes it harder for the audience to pin point who this character really is. And unfortunately for Jason, DC has him all over the place. It’s really sad. So yes aesthetically I personally like the look but I just don’t think it fits with Jason’s character.

#Jason Todd #red hood #dc #batfamily #batfam #robin jason todd #dc robin #dc jason todd #dc red hood #robin #jason peter todd #agh you beautiful boy #I’m sorry that dc is so mean to you

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foreverisntenough · 1 month

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‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 7 - Gonna Be Okay | ‘Ours’

You and Trent were just in the Maldives splitting banana gelato, clinking spoons as the sun set down the western horizon on a perfect night. Okay, you were eating it all but besides the point. You were sitting yapping with pride about how you never really fought. No couple had ever been so compatible. How perfectly suited you were and retrospectively how perfectly naive. Fast forward and you were in huff in the kitchen because he had promised to refill the dogs water bowls and hadn’t. He left for training completely oblivious that he had forgotten. You were slamming cabinet doors frustrated in a rage. This had become a daily occurrence. Not specifically filling water bowls but just small things had you almost in tears. What had happened. Teddy was a little over a month old. You wouldn’t say things had calmed down with her but there was definitely more of a routine. Although that routine consisted of you and Trent suppressing a lot of issues you were having. It was all about Teddy. All the time. Becoming parents had put a strain on your relationship you weren’t expecting and definitely we’re ignoring. Part of the problem was that you both were exhausted. You had so much less time with each other and much less time for other people after she arrived. Everyday felt like a broken record and broken it was. It was so unusual for you two to work around each other like this as opposed to working together. You always had such good communication, such empathy and understanding but right now… you weren’t sure you'd had a real conversation in about 2 days. You’d never gone this long. The awkwardness was palpable but your schedules made it so you didn’t really even have the space let alone the energy to deal with it.

“T… I’m not just going to stay home and wait for you to be done.” You quipped turning to the refrigerator to grab a water to hand to him. That was the other problem that made this all so easy to ignore. You still so obviously cared for each other. The love never went anywhere so you were still doing a lot of the same things just with a ton of resentment.

“Baby, this is such a bad time for this. I’m literally walking out the house right now.” He calmly said back but you knew what that meant. It was the politest way he could say ‘shut up, I don’t want to talk about this’ Next thing you knew he was gone, out the front door for another away game. You stood cradling Teddy with tears threatening to spill over. God, you were so fucking tired. You prayed things would just sort themselves on their own. When Trent came back things didn’t snap back to normal like you had hoped. It had been days since he returned and you’d both been busy. There was minimal communication outside of ‘can you feed her’ or ‘can you change her’ One more thing that definitely was causing issues was your sleeping arrangement. You couldn’t remember the last time you even cuddled.

“We need to sit down and talk about this, Trent. We can’t fall apart now.” You nervously spoke up coming round the couch to stand in front of him blocking the tv.

“Baby…” he sighed with a puppy dog face. His lips falling into the perfect pout he knew would get his way. He was never good with confrontation and boy did he have the face to get out of it but you had had enough.

“No. No. This is not how this is going to go.” You wiped away tears of frustration that started to build. You were mad you felt so emotional while he sat stoic as ever. “We need a real discussion. Like real adults, Trent. We’re fucking parents, now. We can’t just pretend nothing is going on.” You snapped a little. You had just put Teddy down for a nap so despite the heat of your words your voice was low and soft not wanting to wake her. Whether or not he wanted to admit it or talk about it, Trent felt sidelined while you concentrated mainly on Teddy. Just the same as he felt ignored, sitting on the bench, you felt you had completely disappeared. Everyone focused solely on your baby. Your life had dwindled down to only care and feed for Teddy rather than be a partner or person in your own right.

“I’m really fucking tired Trent… you go and you work out or whatever, let out all your stress out, see your friends and I’m here! I’m here all the fucking time. I can’t leave the house.” You yelled in the quietest way possible. Inside you were fuming as the words came out. It hit you that you couldn’t remember the last time you had left the house without Teddy or not for Teddy. He hated that you were using his first name. He gave you this confused look as to why you thought he wasn’t living this experience of being a new parent with you.

“Why are you trying to keep score?” He flicked his eyes up to you as you stood there in the living room with your hands on your hips. You felt like your knees were going to give out from either exhaustion or desperation but you gave off the appearance of being incredibly strong in the moment.

“Trent! “ you yelped, feeling defeated already by his response. He threw his head to the side, annoyed you kept calling him that and it definitely wasn’t being said in a good way. “When you have a match… ugh! We’re not even sleeping together in the same bed anymore because I have to wake up to feed her and I can’t mess up your schedule for games!” You cried.

“Yeah, go on Y/N. Just keep piling it on. I know, I know I’m not home a lot. I know” He said it with such a harsh tone. You’d give it to him Trent had some drama and sass to him. A bit of a bite you rarely were on this end of. Usually his smart mouth brought humor but this… this was not funny.

“That’s not fair!” You whimpered out. Rubbing your hands over your face beginning to rock back and forth filled with nerves unsure where this conversation was even going.

“It’s so I can provide for you, Y/N. Why don’t you realize that?” He threw the first name seriousness back at you. His eyes widened in disbelief, shocked you couldn’t see what he did for you, sacrificed for you. He gave up so much of his time away from his new born baby to give you the comfortable life you lived but just the same he couldn’t see what you had been sacrificing. “You wanted to have this baby too, Y/N.” He lashed out sitting forward more towards the edge of the couch. His puppy dog face had completely vanished a long time ago. He looked at you like he hated you. You knew he didn’t but right now you weren’t in the frame of mind to have that clear of thinking.

“Stop… do not go there. That’s fucked up and a line you can’t cross.” You were more upset now and rightfully so. Bringing the topic of having Teddy into this was unfair and uncalled for. The second he said it Trent felt a pit in his stomach. You stormed out of the room holding back tears till you were alone and far away enough for him not to hear. He wanted to take it back. He wanted to chase after you and hug you until you forgave him and made up. He wanted to go back to when you could just fuck this out and physically turn a lot of anger into a lot of love. That wasn’t going to happen. This was a battle of words. He knew things were bad, he knew what he said wasn’t great but he didn’t know hot to get to you without messing things up further so he kept his distance. After that squabble it was just days of awkward kitchen run ins. The only time you really spoke were in cutesy voices to Teddy who thankfully you assumed was oblivious to it all. She was maybe 40 days old. It wasn't like she could really pick up on the tension when you asked Trent if he had run the dishwasher but you didn’t want her around this negative vibe for long. You’d never experienced this type of long term strain with him. You never pinned either of you to be the type to hold a grudge but you both felt you had respective points to be made and wouldn’t let go. Once again, Trent had an away game and you murmured a feisty sarcastic ‘of course’ when he told you he was leaving the house. It was unnecessary so he ignored it and told you he loved you anyway. He still meant it, he just didn’t exactly love how cold you’d been towards him lately. It was before he was boarding his flight to come back home when you FaceTimed him. You were putting Teddy to bed. It was routine and just because you weren’t getting along didn’t mean you were going to deprive Teddy of seeing her dad before sleep. Your eyes were practically shutting from lack of sleep while Trent babbled to her.

“You know who’s just as perfect as you, baby bear? Your mummy.” You heard it and furrowed your brow. Were you crazy? Did he not know you had been fighting? You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, baby we gotta get through this.” He tried to get you to loosen your grip on the whole thing but you weren’t having it. Trent just wanted to brush over this, move and put a plaster over it. He wanted you back in his arms desperately. After you hung up you definitely felt a little bit guilty. You knew he was trying his best. It was just Trent’s way. All he wanted to do was love you but you needed something different than that right now. In a fun twist, it was Trent’s birthday this week. You couldn’t have felt more awkward about it. Truthfully and deep down you knew this fighting was temporary and you loved him so you didn’t want to taint a day you had the opportunity to really show him how much you did love him but you were stubborn. You didn’t want to be the one to say sorry first and you certainly were not going to go the rest of your life as a mother like this, you needed a conversation. Per usual as of late, you awkwardly both got ready in your wardrobe together. He asked what you wanted him to wear. Normally the task would excite you. You loved dressing him. He didn’t really mind either way even though he looked significantly better when you did. You could tell this was some sort of olive branch but it wasn’t enough. You just dragged your hand over the closet full of his tops lazily pulling out a Rhude t-shirt to hand to him. He gave a half assed smile disappointed his effort didn’t do anything. You put on a tanish grey linen off the shoulder mini dress. You actually liked it and felt okay in it. The dress was doing a lot considering you jusstttt had Teddy. He zipped your dress. His hands on your cold skin made you shiver. It was strange that his touch made you feel that way. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. You selected a pair of heels you hadn’t been able to wear since before you were pregnant. They just ran narrow and your swollen feet weren’t having it. You picked out a purse you bought in a pregnant haze. It was insanely kitschy and looked like a takeout box but it happened to be almost £2,000 from YSL. Trent probably gave into cravings in a different way than most people. You had bought some ridiculous things while pregnant but it was still cute. You stood in the mirror inspecting the full outfit.

“You look good.” Trent muttered out seeing you as he sat on the bed waiting for you. He meant it. He never said stuff like that if he didn’t. Dianne was coming over to take care of Teddy. You were not thrilled about leaving her but you wouldn’t be out long. It’s not like you and Trent were exactly eager to spend alone time together despite it being much needed. You had made a reservation at a Sushi place you went to when you celebrated his birthday on your first visit. It was sweet in theory but now it just rubbed it in how much things had changed.

“Tuna roll?” He asked you, inspecting the menu even though you both knew exactly what you were getting. You could recite his sushi order backwards. You were excited to finally have sushi again so as much as this was for Trent it was a little for you too. You ate your meal talking about basic things you might talk to a neighbor about, fairly generic for two people that lived together, that loved each other. You had ordered a special roll Trent was too scared to try but you made him have a piece anyway. He liked it and a while later he plucked another piece off your plate with his chopsticks. You widened your eyes at him, your jaw slacked. He gave you a cheeky grin with his cheeks full as he chewed. You kept eating until he did it again. You had now given him half of your order.

“T! Stop!” You giggled. He was so annoying and you hated how cute he was every time he was being a pest.

“I’ll buy you more, beautiful.” He cooed, taking a fourth of your six piece roll. You laughed at him shaking your head. It kind of felt like you were just beginning to date again. He was flirting with you and it made your heart flutter. You looked at him and watched in what felt like slow motion his big hand reach across the table to wipe a bit of soy sauce that had rested atop your lips. The feeling of his fingers on your lips, near your mouth, had your heart racing. Images of times he pushed his fingers in your mouth while he fucked you flashed in your mind. There was something about Trent in a white t-shirt. He just looked so fresh and clean. Sexy. It made you think of the first time you gave him head you remember watching his back muscles dance as he pulled the white t-shirt over his golden brown skin. You had hummed at the image.

“At a white t-shirt?” He questioned what you were possibly so enamored with.

“No, you in a clean white t-shirt after I just had your cock in my mouth” You corrected him. He couldn’t hold the grin back. He walked back over to you holding the pair of camouflage pants he was going to wear.

“It’s so good. I like this one. You always know the hits.” His voice cut off your moment of reverie. He was really fucking handsome. As messy and tense as things had been you’d never not be attracted to him and that only made it that much annoying when he did stupid shit. As you drove towards home it was like the mood lowered with every passing mile. It wasn’t like you weren’t excited to get back to Teddy. You actually felt like you could burst with the need to get her back in your arms. It just was that this dinner was some sort of escape from the reality of things. There weren’t dog’s water bowls he could forget to fill at the restaurant.

It had been almost two months post birth and you really didn’t want to nor have any desire to have sex. You thought about his body that way for sure, but the idea of him touching your body was hard to imagine. Previously, sex was what birthdays between you and Trent consisted of and you loved it. It was fun and hot. A time to try things out, spend all day in bed but you were so exhausted and frankly sore. Your body felt anything but sexy… it felt gross like it wasn’t actually yours anymore. You often felt touched out at the end of the day. You had a baby on you practically 24/7. Sex was the last thing on your mind leaving Trent feeling fairly neglected and rejected. It was the perfect storm. You barely were sleeping together so the second you were he wanted to be all over you and the second he was you just wanted to be alone. You went to bed that night, backs facing one another with your arms slightly outstretched towards the middle of the bed linking pinkies not okay with being completely out of reach from the other. It was strange but gave you a tinge of hope. You laid in bed the next day and got to sleep in. Trent handled morning duties with Teddy. He even took her for a walk in her pram just to get her outside.

“She’s down for her nap.” He came back into your bedroom a while later. You just hummed.

“I’ll feed her when she wakes up again.” You practically scoffed at him for no reason. It was uncalled for but you just felt so annoyed. What were you two doing… it felt so unnecessary and yet you couldn’t get over the hurdle. Trent stared at you in bed. He didn’t like what he saw. He knew you, he knew your body so well and yet you almost looked foreign. You were limp, crashed into the bed, face first into the pillows, barely under the covers. It made him terribly sad. As hard headed as Trent could be, he wasn’t dumb. He was a really empathetic person; he just needed a minute to sort out his own emotions. He needed to really get a good look at you again. Like right now, it was like something changed. Like he finally understood what was going on.

“Y/N…” he cooed softly sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. He very cautiously reached his hand out to stroke your arm. You felt cold. He shut his eyes, hating how things had been. You had just become a family, welcomed your baby girl together and yet you had never felt less like one. He kissed the back of your arm. You shivered feeling the lips you absolutely adored for the first time in a while. You missed him. “I want to make things better. I’m really sorry. Can we talk?” He nervously murmured out. A barely there subtle soft smile pulled on your face. You knew you would get to the point of having a calm discussion about what’s been going on. You didn’t think it would take so long and honestly you didn’t think it’d be him to initiate it but it didn’t matter. You sat back against the headboard of your bed and pulled your knees to your chest. You looked at him closely inspecting his face to see if it had changed any since you last had a proper look. It hadn’t. His eyes still had a warm honey hue in the light, lips still perfectly plump, his skin annoyingly smooth despite minimal effort. His amber smell wafted towards you.

“I’m sorry too, baby.” You looked at him with obvious pain in your eyes. When he heard the pet name he knew you had to just make it through this conversation and everything would be a lot better.

“I know I should know and understand without having to do this but can you explain to me what you’ve been feeling? I want to hear you out so I can be better. Just tell me what I need to do to get things back on track. How do I do more than I’m doing? I feel exhausted.” He babled a little feeling just as nervous as you. His words kind of broke your heart. He really was trying his best. He didn’t know how to do anything different yet.

“T… I know you do a lot for me, for her, for us but as much as it is work for you… you do get to leave here everyday. You get the escape. I know you think about us when you’re not here” he nodded, confirming he definitely did think about you but he didn’t want to interrupt you so he stayed silent. “Just consider for even the 90 minutes when you are fully focused on a match. As you should be, I’m not saying otherwise. That's 90 minutes I’m alone, with her, at home, and unfortunately still dealing with a lot of the physical aftermath as well. Like my body is in so much discomfort and pain and I have her on me constantly. I don’t mean to sound patronizing but you could never understand how I feel in my own body right now… and that’s just the some odd 90 minutes we’re talking about not all the days you’re away for” your eyes started to welle. “I need you to support me a little here.” Your voice was shaky. Trent reached out and grabbed your hands.

“I want to support you, baby I’m so sorry.” He quivered, upset you had been feeling this way. “I hate that I wasn’t thinking about things that way. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, what you went through to give us our family. I think I pull out this card that I am providing for you because it’s one of the only things I can give back to you. Only thing I know I can control and contribute. You give me so much, you gave me her. It’s hard because I know the way you provide for me is something I’ll never be able to reciprocate.” He stared at your intertwined hands unable to look you in the eyes. “I do think about you 24/7. I feel like I’m gonna cry when I pull out of the driveway and it’s not just about leaving Teddy, it's leaving you. It’s different now, leaving. I feel like I’m letting you down when I go. It was easier for me lately just to shut it out and not tell you that because I feel so guilty. Everytime I’m on the pitch laughing I just hope you’re at home laughing with her.” He tried to explain his rational and you understood.

“T, that’s the problem though. I don't want to be at home all the time. I don’t want you to feel guilty, baby, either but we really need to find a way to help the other person with what they’re going through. We’re both doing this for the first time and it’s really fucking hard” your voice was shaking realizing just how difficult things had been.

“We work a lot better together. I’m not keen on the whole opposing sides thing. How do we figure this out?” You knew Trent was very action oriented so you thought for a moment how to explain things.

“Okay…erm like I need to go get my hair done. Can you please actually tell me you’re taking her. Not go to your mums… like you, baby. Take her, don’t offer. She’s your baby too. And honestly, not even just going to do my hair, even showers at home, T. During the day if you’re here. She’s like glue… constantly stuck to me.” You giggled a little bit thinking about your baby girl’s clinginess.

“She’s cute glue to be fair” he laughed and it shattered your heart in the best way. He hadn’t laughed with you since dinner. You shook your head with a smile knowing that was half the issue here. Teddy was so cute, everything had just been glossed over every time she batted her eyes. “But I understand, baby.”

“How can I help you, T?” you asked, moving your hand to his thigh. Your touch sent electricity coursing through his body. He was staring at your hand on him before his eyes flickered up to lock with yours he gave you the most beautiful smile you loved. Childish, full.

“You know, maybe you can drive me AXA or come see me. I don’t mean to make it about footie but it’s where I have to be for almost 7 days a week. I want to see her. I want to see you.” He looked scared to even bring up football at the moment but he was right it was his whole life.

“I got it. We can do that. Would be nice. Little carpool… drop daddy off.” You cooed with a giggle bobbing back and forth on the bed thinking about it. You could feel the air lifting and lightening as you continued breaking down how to be more supportive. You talked for ages outlining things you both needed help with. “We can do this, hmm? “ you said apprehensively. He winked at you and your heart skipped a beat. You much preferred when you were on good terms. You gave him a childish smile. Both shy and confident about being able to figure this out with him.

“There she is.” He cooed, stroking his thumb over your full cheek. “My beautiful girl. I love you so so much. I’m sorry, baby. Honest. C’mere.” He pulled you into him and you felt your whole body relax. Relax more than it had in months. “We’re gonna be okay.” He kissed you. You felt a shiver run up your spine in the best way. You felt relief.

“And on cue… she’s nothing but persistent” you giggled hearing Teddy coo over the baby monitor. Trent kissed you again. He started to stand up from his seat on the bed.

“You want to shower? I’ll go get her.” He asked you genuinely serious.

“Funny…” you quipped back not amused with the joke you thought he was making.

“I’m serious! If we’re gonna do this you have to at least let me help you!” He laughed at you. He pulled you by your hands up from the bed. He placed his own hands on your shoulders and walked you into the en-suite.

“Okay, okay, I can do it.” You wiggled out of his hold and began to pull off your clothes. Laughing as your dragged your top over your head.

“So difficult” he teased with a similar laugh squeezing your now bare sides. He began to walk out of the bathroom.

“Hey T…” you stared in the mirror back at him. He turned around with a hum. “I love you, baby.” You said sheepishly but still very sure of it. He nodded with a soft sympathetic smile. “Could we maybe do a birthday redo today with Ted?”

“I love you more than anything in the world, beautiful. Absolutely, you girls going to to take me out?” He thought he was so so funny all the time. The corniness was half the charm. He just was cute and simultaneously sexy.

“Just so annoying all the time.”you joked as he walked a little closer to you before he smushed another wet kiss onto your cheek that you loved. When he came back in with Teddy already dressed, ready to go, you knew things were going to be fine. You both were just new at this whole parenting thing. Trent drove down into the city center and you felt so incredibly domestic going on a family outing. You decided on something low key and normal so you went out to get coffees and walk the docks.

“I haven’t been down here for ages.” He spoke into the crisp fall air. He pushed Teddy’s Dior pram back and forth as you sat outside at a little coffee place you loved.

“You’ve been missing out on a very good croissant” you mumbled with your mouth full.

“Clearly.” He laughed at you before pulling a hearty piece from your croissant to pop in his mouth.

“Me and Marce used to come here all the time, you know?” You kept talking. You weren’t even sure he knew that. So it made you smile to connect again. Talk about things and open up.

“You two do so much shit without me” Trent feigned jealousy but as much as he joked you knew he actually did feel a little envious of all the relaxed down time you and his brothers shared together.

“We’ll start being bad at your job and maybe you wouldn’t have to play in Europe all the time, you could hang with us.” You teased leaning over to check on Teddy.

“You know you maybe should’ve been a comedian, baby. Just hilarious all the time. So funny. I’m dying of laughter.” He said with a completely straight face. You could tell though he was making a big effort not to crack a smile at you. “What do you think, Ted? Is mummy funny?” Trent cocked his head to look at her. She just wiggled in her seat excited she was getting attention from him. She loved anytime Trent even walked into a room let alone paid her mind. You grabbed her tiny hand gently folding it into a thumbs up and showed it to him. He rolled his eyes at you.

“You said that on our first date too and I think I proved you wrong. I am funny. You do think I am whether you want to admit it.” You teased referring to when you met outside your apartment for the first time telling him you would have to take the subway to dinner.

“You’re not as funny as you think” he quipped. You walked next to him up to the corner of your block towards the restaurant.

A lot of memories came up lately just because of the massive change you were experiencing. A part of you felt like you were mourning the loss of the juvenile versions of yourselves who didn’t have a care in the world. Your only concern was being each other's arms and the painstaking moments between kisses. Now… now you had a life you had to support, a human to raise. You reached across the table and grabbed Trent’s hand. You ran your fingers back and forth over his knuckles. He smiled at you and picked his hand up with yours. He pressed his lips lightly to your skin. You picked your head up to look at the water, as a boat further out in the river coasted by. You clocked a man taking a photo of Trent as you sat at the table outside the cafe.

“Seriously, if only you were bad at your job.” You nodded subtly towards the man. Trent turned to see him after your gesture. He looked back at you with an apologetic look. He was just trying to spend time with you and Teddy so when the man came over it was a little awkward but he was still really kind and patient. Trent really didn’t want a photo of Teddy out yet though so he politely declined the photo.

“Sorry, mate, I’d love to but I’m with my family right now. It was lovely to meet you though. Thank you for all your support.” Trent spoke low, not trying to draw more attention to himself in downtown Liverpool.

“You can.” You whispered with a nod of approval not minding if he took a photo.

“Ahhh yeah alright lad, you know what we’ll take one quick. Face this way.” Trent turned so the city was behind them in the photo, not you and Teddy. He winked at you. You picked up Teddy from her pram and kept her tight to your chest, rocking her gently.

You went home and ate dinner at your dinning room table with your family. You couldn’t believe you had a family now but you were just happy that you and Trent were back to the place you were in before. You made the cake you previously had planned to with the help of some grubby fingers taste tasting and they weren’t Teddy’s. You had given Trent his presents on his actually birthday but this felt more important, more special. You wanted to make Trent something from scratch. You grew up with the luxury of learning how to bake and cook, not needing to. Your mum brought you with her to France to take some classes for your 16th birthday once and you found you had a knack for it. It was a good cake to be honest, a take on funfetti. You had shown Trent funfetti when you were on a trip back in the US once and he just loved it so that was that. Birthday cake decision made. You placed birthday candles in the cake and dimmed the lights in your dining room and sang happy birthday to him swaying with your baby girl. When you finished and he blew out his candles he pulled you into his lap. You sat down nuzzling your face into his neck.

“Happy Birthday Daddy, we love you so much, T.” You kissed his neck again and again. Teddy attempted a giggle and a smile fascinated with the noise of your lips peeling on and off his skin. “Say happy birthday dada” you cooed squishing Teddy’s cheeks together with one hand gently. She squealed. You both laughed at her excitement.

“Thank you my beautiful girls. You’re my whole world. I love you both so much.” He gave Teddy a big kiss and you pouted at him as you waited for yours. Teddy wasn’t sleeping through the night but her naps were getting longer you guessed. You and Trent laid her down for what Trent was hoping to be an especially long one.

“Did I tell you how sexy you looked today?” He whispered in your ear with a cheeky nibble to your earlobe as you walked down the hallway. His arms hung around your frame heavily. You rolled your eyes swatting at his arm.

“C’mon, baby. How often do I tell you you’re sexy? I need you to know how sexy you are.” He cooed as you entered your bedroom. He plopped onto the edge of the bed and you went to follow him for a cuddle. You wanted to be close to him. Finally back in each others good graces you wanted to feel connected. Trent did too just in a different way. He held his hand out to stop you from coming closer. You cocked your head confused. You backed up a few steps and stared at him waiting for him to tell you some sort of direction.

“Lemme see. I know you. Lemme see what you have on today.” He spoke with a tone that sent the most excited shiver running down your spine, your pussy throbbed. You gradually began to pull your clothes off, layer by layer. You stripped for him. You giggled at the way it made you feel. Trent had a way of making you feel sexy without even touching you. The way his jaw slacked. You turned away from him to slide off the trousers you had on, bending over. He groaned throwing his head back as you spun around for him. He shook his head in disbelief of your figure. “Still my birthday?” You nodded with a shy smile. “Lay down for me…” so you followed instructions. He watched you lay back on the bed. To be fair you hadn’t really thought of doing this tonight but regardless you always liked to get undressed in front of Trent revealing little lingerie sets and he knew you did it for him. You wouldn’t even turn to acknowledge him as you’d lean over the bathroom sink counter in different colored lace every day just for show. He climbed over you and looped his finger under the middle of the sheer black Gucci bralette you’d chosen for today. Your breath hitched. Okay, now you were definitely thinking about it. You were praying he’d be gentle with you since this would be your first time after Teddy but also funnily with the lingerie too; you liked it and it was expensive. You’d lost too many pairs of panties over your relationship with him to tears. He looked down at you with a look you forgot made your heart race. He kissed your ankle. “I love these legs, I love these thighs.” He worked kisses all over and up your whole body. “I love this hip, this stomach..” he kissed every bit of you. You couldn’t get enough of falling back into the swing of things with him.

“Baby, be gentle with me, okay?” You said to him with fear in your eyes. You sighed a little embarrassed. He just looked at you in adoration.

“I’ll take care of you, yeah? I always do. Make you remember just how beautiful I think you are.” He whispered into your ear. The vibration alone made goosebumps raise on your skin. You had the biggest fucking smile on your face after he said that. You knew you were in for a treat. Sex with Trent was something you hoped you would never struggle with. His hand lightly grabbed your jaw pulling you into a kiss. His plump soft lips feeling as perfect as ever. He dragged his hand down your throat and you moaned missing this feeling. This feeling of Trent in total control of you. He kept his hands on you and over you before he cheekily pitched your nipples.

“Oh, fuckkk” you yelped out incredibly sensitive and incredibly turned on.

“Open your mouth f’me, beautiful.” He cooed and without needing to think you did. Your eyes widened in awe of how sexy he looked above you. His other hand beginning to work his length. You sucked around his fingers licking the underside like you would his cock. He abruptly pulled them out and guided them down to your pussy. He ran his fingers through your folds before he began to slowly pump two thick digits inside of you. “Fuck, baby. I missed this pussy. Feel so good already” his voice rumbled in the quiet room as his thumb stretched up to roll over your clit.

“C’mere baby. You’re so fucking soaked I bet I could just…” he dragged his tip through your wet pussy. You weren’t expecting to be as wet as you were but it was Trent you shouldn’t have been all that surprised. “You’re so beautiful and all mine” he paused perfectly, lining up his cock with your entrance and suddenly all of the air slipped out of your lungs. He was on his knees in front of you holding your one leg up as you laid back into the mattress. His firm grip around you doing most of the work.

“Oh my fucking god, T…” Oh my god was right. You could never forget how good the sex was but this. This felt really fucking good. Your eyes fluttered closed as he slowly pushed deeper, sticking to his promise to be gentle. You gasped feeling his length. You cupped his scruffy cheeks. You blew out short breaths as you tried to adjust to his size.

“I love you so much, you know that right?” He whispered again. He felt good but also slightly uncomfortable and strangely new again. He sank his body weight down on top of you so that he became your entire focus trying to not let your mind spiral into anxiety about what he thought you felt like after your baby. You could only nod. You breathed heavily. Your legs wrapped around his arm curling to hook around it, shutting your eyes in pleasure.

“I love you, T.” You whined as you felt your legs tremble already. He nuzzled impossibly deeper. You blinked your eyes open. You locked with his deep brown eyes, soft and sensitive filled with sincerity. You tried to makeout with him needing to feel those lips on yours but you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think let alone multitask as he began to thrust into you slowly. You were anxious to do this but frankly, Trent felt unbelievable and if possible maybe somehow better than that. Being back inside you had his head spinning. His heart faltered a little seeing your beautiful face scrunch up. His body weight further pressed onto you while he scooped his arm under your other leg holding it up closer to your chest Your nails dug into his biceps leaving crescent marks. You whined a sound that was music to his ears. You found a rhythm that worked for you. A rhythm that made your slightly enlarged boobs bounce more for him.

“God, I love your tits, baby.” He said it with a smile eliciting a giggle from you at the compliment. Sex had never felt better emotionally. Your eyes started to water. You felt so in love with him. “You okay, baby? Tell me you’re okay. Tell me you want this?." You really did appreciate his concern; it was just hard to talk at the moment. He leaned closer to your neck licking over your most sensitive spots waiting for a response. “Hmm?”

“I want you, T. You just feel really good.” You whimpered. Tears filled your lash line so he slowed. “Please, T… more.” His eyes widened. He was nervous his current pace was already too much so it was a surprise to hear.

“I'm right here. You have me.” His face was hovering over yours. He managed to give you the kisses you so desperately wanted all over your face, your neck, your shoulders underneath him. You clenched around him. He felt it and almost giggled. He was excited to have this power back. “You wanna be a good girl and cum for me, baby?”

“I’m gonna cum. Please. Please, T. Make me cum.” You moaned as he pushed a little deeper inside with every thrust. A familiar but distant feeling crashed over you. Your brain turning to mush. His cock throbbed inside you. He grunted overwhelmed seeing you cum under him once again. He could imagine it all he wanted but he missed seeing it in real time. “T… cum inside me again, okay? Make me take all of it. I want it. Cum for me.” You whined more. He let out a strained breath. That was it for him. Knowing you missed this. That you wanted this. Wanted him. He tipped over the edge, pumping you full of his cum. With one more final deep thrust he ran his hands through your hair grabbing it pulling your head forward into the most passionate kiss you might’ve ever shared. The tension you had felt the past few weeks evaporated. You stayed tight to his body as you breathed heavily. You both were panting as he leaned his forehead on yours before he as tender as possible pulled out. He sat back for a moment and admired you. Stroking up your thigh gingerly, he breathed out a sigh of appreciation.

“Can you be a good girl f’me and spread your legs.” He asked so kindly you did it almost instinctively. “Fucking unreal. Every day since I met you.” He kissed from your stomach up to your neck nuzzling his face in his hands trailing behind his tongue the whole way. You thought you’d cuddle till Teddy woke up but you were wrong. You spread your legs the best you could. Trent cursed. His fingers traced through your folds gathering up the cum. He swiftly and slowly dipped two of his fingers inside of you. The sensation was so overwhelming and overstimulating. He pumped them methodically, deep, curling inside you.

“Wait.. wait baby. Ah!” You whined. Your hips bucking up into him.

“Gimme one more, baby.” He asked as he nibbled on your neck. You couldn’t handle the feeling. It was too much and you had poor control. You came hard and fast, squirting a little.

“Fuck… T” You panted so heavily. Completely out of breath. You just laid there eyes closed as your chest heaved up and down. You needed a moment. He laughed and frantically laid down next to you pretty proud of his work. You were tangled up in bed until you heard the little coo and whine you loved so much.

“Lemme go check on her, you stay put. I bet you’re tired.” Trent winked at you and as annoying as his playful comment was, it was very true. He pulled on his boxers and sweats and walked down the hallway into Teddy’s nursery.

“Baby bear, you okay?” Trent cooed, scooping Teddy up gently as her cries lulled. He hummed, swaying back and forth. “Wish you could tell me what you’d need. I’d do it right away, you know that?” He pressed his lips to her identical ones. “‘My little Ted. You’re so beautiful. You look like me, but I can’t tell you’re perfect just like mummy, baby girl” he whispered softly to her. It was a while later and you still laid in bed expecting to have fallen right to sleep after all that with Trent but you couldn’t knowing your two favorite people in the world were still awake just down the hall. You got up and put on a little gray sleep set. It was comfortable and that’s just what your body needed right now because you definitely were sore.

“I felt left out.” You pouted in the doorway of Teddy’s room looking at Trent reading her a book. He picked his head up with a soft smile and beckoned you over to sit on the couch with them. Teddy’s face lit up.

“Oh wow… you excited to see mummy, huh teddy girl? Weren’t that excited to see me.” Trent teased. You slapped at his bare chest before grabbing her. She hiccuped overly excited. Her head fell onto you. You hummed kissing her chubby cheek . “I like this.” He pulled on the fabric of the tiny shorts you were in. You shrugged.

“You can continue. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” You giggled a little. You smushed your face into Trent’s arm ruining your view of the colorful book but making a better one for her. You pushed your lips to kiss Trent as he read. The sound of his voice was perfect, calm and steady. It lulled you into an incredibly sleepy state. Trent plucked Teddy out of your tired arms to hold her more securely. He wrapped his free arm around you and pulled you into him. Your head fell onto his shoulder. You hugged his waist tightly.

“My girls. Hmm?” He cooed, pressing a kiss to you and Teddy. You fell asleep listening to him. He let you and Teddy sleep on him for a while. He just relaxed, closing his eyes, happy with the affection, rubbing his hands up your back. Some time later Teddy woke up and was restless. Her little grunts and whines woke you up. “You wanna feed Ted then you and me can go try to get in bed?” Trent cooed with a sympathetic smile knowing you were exhausted. You nodded still half asleep but you understood. Sticking to your schedule was important for all of you. It took longer than expected to get her fed and down again but you did it. You draped your arms around Trent’s shoulders just staring up at him tired in her room. He pressed his nose to yours. His hands cheekily sliding over your ass. He kneaded it, raising up the material of your shorts. He pulled you closer into his embrace. He cupped your ass and picked you up from under your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“We’re actually going to bed… like sleep, right?” You cooed as Trent walked you back to your room in his arms. He laughed a little. You were nervous with the way his hands were on you if he was trying to have sex again and you were sure you could handle that yet.

“Yeah. We need to sleep. I have to go in tomorrow at 10 too.” He cooed as you stroked your thumb over his cheek. You pushed your face into the nape of his neck until he placed you on your bed. “Baby, we’re gonna be okay. I promise we’ll work on this together. I won’t let us get that way again. I know we’ll have our dips but we’re just learning to grow together.”

“I agree. Just have to talk more I think. I’m sorry I didn’t express how I felt. It’s unfair to assume you should know how I feel without me verbalizing it, that you know what is going on when we’re both doing this for the first time.” He shook his head dismissing your apology. “We might have dips like you said but T, I want this. I want us. I want this to work. God, I need this to work. I don’t think I could survive without you.”

“You could but you’ll never have to. Never even give you the chance to find out.” He cut you off. You squeezed his arm.

“I don’t want to find out. T… what do you think will happen next for us?” You tucked in closer to him cuddling up in your bed. He didn’t respond right away so you felt a little taken aback. Awkward almost. Ironic considering the things that were just said. “Like in the next five years, you know?” You tried to clarify.

“No, I know what you meant. I was just thinking of how I wanted to phrase it. I know this sounds cheesy so don’t make fun cause I’m serious.” He spoke slow. You hung onto every word of his.

“Serious” you mocked his accent and he gave you glare. You just smiled back.

“Next five years for me… just loving you. I’ve told you a million times I want to get married. I know we’re not too far into this one but I’d want another another baby… you know whenever you’re ready.” He tried to unnecessarily explain there was no pressure.

“Really?!” You would’ve squealed with excitement if Teddy weren’t finally asleep. You had jumped at the word marriage. “What ring are you gonna get meeee?” You giddily teased and moved even closer to him, laying your head and hand on his chest. “I think if I were to like make my perfect ring from scratch..” you began talking at the speed of light. You were off in dream land now. “I want a tou et moi because that’s what my parents did.” He nodded with a smile lovingly the way you spoke, the way you looked when you got excited. “I like the two-stone setting too. It’s just so beautiful to look down and see like a real representation of two people together and I kinda like the idea of the three ring deal.” You were referring to the concept of having one ring for engagement, one for marriage, and one for eternal love, usually anniversaries. Trent listened intently watching your animations. He’d asked you before nonchalantly what you wanted but you didn’t think much of it. You knew he talked about marrying you but you didn’t know when or even if that would happen.

“Oh yeah?” He picked up your left hand and kissed your knuckles. He felt pretty good about himself imagining what he has had hidden downstairs in a safe for about a year now.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 8 xx

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #taa66 #oursfic

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pastanest · 1 year

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A/N: I’m really sorry but read-more links aren’t working on my blog atm, I’ve raised a ticket with Tumblr and they’ve registered it as a bug that they’re looking into but for now I can’t use them because they mess up the whole post :(

Eleventh Doctor x gender!neutral reader

Dating Eleven Would Include

so to begin with, he’d be awkward and clumsy as per usual

over time he gets more accustomed to the blossoming feelings for you and relaxes into them, being more open to flirting back

PDA comes so naturally to him he consistently catches himself out when he becomes aware of the fact he’s holding your hand, swung an arm around you or pulled you in for a hug on instinct

the Doctor is always going out of his way to do sweet things for you

he remembers every place you’ve referenced wanting to visit, every favorite food you’ve mentioned, every dream date idea that he has pried out of you with the least subtle questions and motivations you can imagine

and he uses all of that information to his advantage, regularly planning said dates out for you in the most beautiful places in the universe

a regular picnic? nono, not on the Doctor’s watch. we’re talking planets entirely made of meadows, as far as the eye can see, inhabited by sentient orbs of light that exist in complete peace and harmony, floating around amongst the flowers and creating a field of stars every time the seven sun’s set

a date at the cinema? try the biggest cinema screen in the universe that you have to sit 50 feet away from, with special goggles just to protect your eyes from the power of the light from the screen.

“And it’s not just the screen that’s big, it’s the highest quality speakers ever invented, and they are completely invisible! 4D sound systems? Not here, 8D AND UP ONLY BABY! That does mean that if we see any movie with freak weather patterns, we may have to bring several changes of clothes to suit the climates they simulate around our seats. Which are levitating in total darkness. So we will also need a very powerful torch to find our seats. Which I have already invented, naturally. It plays tense music whenever it’s switched on.”

“That’s a lot to process, but I am stuck on the torch - why did you add tense music as a feature?”

“For dramatic effect, why else?!”

he’s fiercely protective of you

we all know the look in his eyes when the Daleks rock up, the fury that burns when he recalls anything regarding the Time War; that’s the same expression that greets anyone or anything that causes you harm in any way whatsoever

he’s almost scared to admit that he’d tear a planet apart to find you, save you, fix any harm that has been done to you, if that is what it cost

whether you are with him through his regeneration into 11 or not, you show him parts of his personality that have been hidden for hundreds and hundreds of years, feelings he never thought he would be lucky enough to find again

and it terrifies him, of course, to consider what he lost in those feelings before, how he could lose you in a new, more painful way

but you reassure him

with every hold of your hand, every bright smile, every hug, every laugh at one of his silly lines, every kiss, every whisper in the dark when he lies with you until you fall asleep in his arms, you comfort the Doctor that no matter what happens, you will find your way back to each other

you, the Doctor and River Song are absolutely in a three-way marriage

River flirts with you more than the Doctor and he’ll sulk about it

“Honestly, what’s the point in me being here?! Should I drop you two off on an isolated moon to engage in your…shenanigans?! Ooh, ‘shenanigans’, now that’s a good word, I should use it more often!”

you and River both know him so well and share your frustrations over his occasional idiocies the girl’s that get it, y’know?

picture this: the Doctor being so excited to see River but she just runs past him and straight to you because the two of you have orchestrated sleepovers in the TARDIS and routinely fail to let the Doctor know ahead of time iconic

the two of you never make it official, but it is understood on both sides that you are in a relationship and nothing will break that bond

and you are the happiest couple in this universe, and every other

#doctor who #the doctor x reader #eleven x reader #eleventh doctor #11th doctor #doctor who x reader #x reader #imagine #imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #headcannon #headcannons

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justmochi · 1 year

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SLOGAN: Carats are the ones I’ve been waiting for all of my life.

OPENING MENT: “Hello Carats! I’m SEVENTEEN’s Rosie and we’re back once again in Carat Land. We have a really exciting night planned for you so let’s forget about our worries for a while!”

DEBATE NIGHT: Cold food VS Hot food

“Food always tastes better when it’s hot and fresh.”

“Cold food can get soggy and not taste as good as it did when it first was served.”

Pointing out a carat’s decorated ver3 lightstick

Songs that don’t suit the members

Rosie - DINO’s Last Order

TEAM V

Rosie said the group chat (Consisting of Rosie, Chaewon, and Yunjin) be lively when she sends hao’s antifragile practice.

Their trio name is ropurinz

All the members were squealing when Dino did shut down. The first time he danced to it, she nearly fell out of her chair. The second time, while everyone was squealing, Rosie just stood back and smiled at him.

She was proud of him!

Back it up (PERFORMANCE TEAM)

ate back it up choreo

wore dino’s anyone shirt

stylists just cut it up a bit

literally points to her shirt and then does anyone choreo

takes dino’s sunglasses and wears them herself

it’s literally a rave

the hottest rosie that anyones witnessed

when discussing unit reverses to give the other members time to change, they kept talking about rosie rapping

wonwoo: “she thinks she can’t rap but she can.”

“i am not a good rapper.”

hid behind dino with her hands on his shoulders as they showered her with compliments

except even he was complimenting her

teared up when seeing Woozi cry.

sobbed when hearing Carats sing To you

ENDING MENT: Did everyone have a good time? Are you guys tired of us yet? Do you want to go home? It has been so much fun spending time with you today. I’ve been using our time off to reflect and better myself for our carats. There may be times where I disappoint you, where I lose my way. But I ask carats to please be patient with me, stay at pace with me, and trust me. Please just always be by my side. And I know I say this all the time but I want to be an idol that you can be proud of. So I’m trusting you to tell me when I’m not doing well. Thank you for sticking with us all these years, there really is no one else like carats. And to my dear members, I love you guys so much. I can’t see myself living life any other life than this one, having 13 best friends by my side. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I will always follow you anywhere you go. And ummm, I’m not sure what else to say cause I still want to have words left for the next two days. So for now, make sure to take care of yourselves and live happily. Rosiehae~

jumpy baby during healing and fighting.

dancing with wonwoo

handed out peach snacks along with valentines day-like cards with sweet messages on them

SLOGAN: I love Carats. Carats are my life.

pointing to dino because their outfits match

OPENING MENT: Hello, I’m Rosie. It is day number two so let’s continue to have more fun, let’s not get tired out.

DEBATE NIGHT: Everything in life is 3x VS Everything in life is 1/3

vernon said he’s minimal which caused rosie to stand up with her hand raised

“I AGREE! 3x is more simple but then there’s ⅓…. Why is it necessary to use such complex math?”

Seungkwan: That’s just you, Jangmi.

“Real and True. But am I wrong?”

carats cheer for her

“3 times more sleep! 3 times more love to share! 3 times more video games!

“I feel like there’s no winner in this debate, there are so many pros and cons to each topic.”

when talking about dino’s razor, rosie giggled while petting his chin.

TEAM T

teased last order by waving.

dino blushed and had to turn around

“I”ve had this prepared since the first time he performed it.”

“The song is so good!”

Dino: “But she won’t let me see it!”

Mingyu: “She won’t let anyone see. I don’t even think any of us has a video of her practicing it.

when it was rosie’s turn to answer, dino had grabbed her arm and told her that her shoelaces were untied. he tried to slow her down because he wanted her to lose.

had to hold onto seungkwan when dk did pink venom.

was laughing at hoshi’s hamtaro cover so hard that she started crying and had to lay on the stage to calm down

“i feel like hoshi just lost his dignity”

rosie thought the sunflower seed pillow was a penguin until he acted like he was eating it

teased last order a little bit more during back it up

grabbed dino by the collar of his jacket

feeling herself

winks galore

scrunchy face

brushing off her shoulders

hips don’t lie

ENDING MENT: Has it really been two days already? I really am the happiest when on stage, in front of carats and beside my family. It’s really crazy seeing these montages of us when we were just kids. I really don’t recognize myself. When I look at these pictures, [rosie looks behind her and up at the screen] I kinda get emotional. She was such a scared little girl that I wonder how I ended up this way. I really need to give her a hug and tell her everything is going to be alright. It will be rough but it will pay off in the end and she will be her greatest self and most importantly, happy. I hope these words can comfort you too in some way. If you or anyone is going through a hard time, I just have to tell you that you’re doing amazing and I see you. There will be many hardships throughout your life, but just remember that you are the brightest star. You are the most important person in your life and we all have to love ourselves. For the carats here and offline, we love you so much and no matter what you’re going through, we will always have your back. And I’m really surprised I haven’t cried yet because there’s no way that all these words are just spitting out of my mouth right now. So I’m gonna say goodbye for today before I jinx myself. Stay safe and healthy. Rosiehae~~

SLOGAN: Carats are the water that makes Rosie flourish!

OPENING MENT: Hello, I’m Seventeen’s Rosie! It is the final day of carat land. Are you tired yet? No? Good! Thank you for spending your precious time with us, let’s end on a high note!

DEBATE NIGHT: An eagle who can’t fly VS A sparrow that can fly anywhere

“What is a bird without its wings? It’s like Seventeen without Carats.”

everyone cheers for her.

the members praise her so much that she starts getting embarrassed

tries to hide under the table

TEAM T

dino and rosie had to answer at the same time

literally grabbed her by the waist so vernon could get ahead

doing everything for her to lose

tickling her so she fell to the ground

lays there and doesn’t bother to get up

“This is just straight-up sabotage”

“For this, you’ll never see last order”

team t lost

they saved rosie for last

jumping up and down for coups

hyped seungkwan up for the eve

poked wonwoo’s face glitter

“his backpack is so cute”

she got more nervous as all the members took their turn

THE8: “the long awaited, last order”

“well now i’m actually nervous. i don’t think i can do it”

Dino: “you can do it!”

Seungkwan: “rosie can do anything! don’t be nervous.”

her cover is an exact replica of dino

she got his facial expressions and hand gestures

dino didn’t really react the first time she did it.

he wanted to make sure he was paying attention to her every move

all the members stood to their feet when she was done

she was out of breath. and embarrassed

kneeled in front of dino out of pure embarrassment

DK: “don’t be embarrassed! it was perfect!!!”

can’t believe she just did that

and HAD TO DO IT A SECOND TIME

dino sat at the front of the stage to watch her do it again

he was smiling and clapping

rosie proving herself as a member of performance team

dropped to the floor again when she was done

dino kneeled in front of her while rubbing her back

Dino: “it was amazing! it was worth the wait.”

“i want to die”

Dino: “if anything, i should be embarrassed. i didn’t realize i made all those gestures.”

Seungkwan: “you do.”

“yes you do.”

“LETS GO!”

flexing her neck and cracking her knuckles before her part

spoiled some choreo for their comeback

pushed dino’s jacket off his shoulder

threw her gloves to carats

staff are not gonna be happy with her

ROSIE’S LETTER FROM HER MOM AND DAD: Hello, this is Rosie’s dad and mom. We haven’t been able to witness carat land for ourselves yet but I hope our precious girl (and her boys) knows we are watching online with a smile on our faces. Her old man’s korean is still pretty rough but I please bare with me here. We really can’t believe Seventeen is going into their 9th year. It really feels like yesterday that we were getting settled in Korea and sending our daughter off to train everyday. Thank you boys for always watching out for our babygirl. She’s turned out to be an amazing woman that our family and carats love so much. Members and carats, please continue to make music forever and protect our daughter throughout the rest of your journey. Despite what she may think and tell herself, your father loves you and is proud of you. You will always be our greatest achievement in life. Please stop saying sorry to me, I would much rather hear thank you from now on. That’s an order! From Rosie’s mom and dad who love her, seventeen, and carats very much.

the second they started showing their parents messages, she gasped and covered her mouth

teared up reading everyone’s letters to the members

kneeled on the floor with her hands folded

when it got to her parents letter, she swear she felt the whole dome spinning

laughed at her fathers handwriting

because she could tell when her father was writing and it switched to her mothers

her dads is so messy while her moms is neat

lost herself when he told her to stop saying sorry

couldn’t finish the letter and just broke down

she was still crying when they started doing their ments

there was a lot of pent up emotions so she just let it all spill out

as she did her ending ment, she took several pauses to cry and collect herself

even her makeup was running

dk and jeonghan helped clean her face up with tissues

didn’t care that the whole world was seeing her in such a vulnerable state

ENDING MENT: Wow. I really didn’t see that coming, the messages from our families. I feel like a crybaby right now ew. I probably look really ugly right now and for that I am sorry. I’m sorry you had to see me like this. I’m supposed to be a person you look to for strength, but even now I can’t be what you need. Just like you depend on us, we depend on carats love and trust between our members to keep going. I really love everyone in this room so much. It was so hard reading my dads message. The reason why I work so hard and exert myself is to make my carats and my family proud. Especially my dad. I’ve always felt so in debt to him, because our family stems from a line of doctors and I had to be the one to break that cycle. So I always feel guilty and sorry to him and even begin to question myself and my path. And he never expresses his feelings like he did in that letter so now I feel like my hard work has finally paid off. It only took almost a decade but I am content now. I love and miss you mom and dad. Carats, thank you for always sticking by our side and loving Seventeen unconditionally. I love you and I will keep working hard to make you proud. Until my last dying breath. We will see you in April. Rosiehae~

started crying again whens he said rosiehae

her eyes were so red and puffy

hugged each of the members during the encore

the tightest hugs ever

literally the grip is insane

its always awkward when she hugs the members but tonight was different

had a basket full of single preserved roses

handed them out to carats all over the dome

acted like she was going to give one to dino but instead through it to the crowd

did the fighting dance with vernon and dino

a night she will remember for the rest of her life

#justmochi: rosie #rosie.misc #rosie.caratland #14th member of seventeen #seventeen 14th member #fake seventeen oc #fake seventeen member #svt oc #fake svt member #fake svt addition #fake kpop addition #fake kpop idol #fake kpop soloist #addition to kpop

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snowandsage · 1 year

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⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: ED, body image, depression, mental illness ⚠️⚠️

I would never in a million years post something like this to any of my other social media accounts but I’m proud of myself and how far I’ve come and want to make a post. It’s likely that this will be taken down for the “inappropriate photos” and I sincerely doubt that many will take the time to read this, but oh well. I’m writing this for me.

The purpose of this post is to share my story and spread awareness as well as positivity.

My body image is something that I have struggled with for a very long time now. Since middle school, I was overly aware of how my body looked and I developed severe body dysmorphia. I refused to wear bathing suits, I cried in the dressing room whenever I went clothes shopping, and I constantly compared myself to those around me. I hated my body and the way that I looked. This obsession with my appearance and my weight continued to progress throughout high school and even college. I began working out frequently, I logged my weight and everything that I ate for years, I counted calories, I would use a tape measure to measure my waste. At 15 years old, I would sob quietly to myself while looking at my body in the mirror. I would force myself to throw up after meals or when I felt like I overindulged. I wholeheartedly hated myself.

It wasn’t until my adult years that things started to get really bad. From 2021 to late 2022, I was at my absolute worst. I was in a bad place mentally and I was feeling out of control. As unhealthy as it sounds, my eating disorder was one of the few things that helped me feel in control of my life. I began weighing myself 4-5 times every day, my hair started falling out in large clumps, I began passing out almost on a daily basis (at home, at work, in the shower, in public), I was freezing cold all the time, i was chronically fatigued, and my body hurt and ached at all times. I was refusing to eat more than one full meal a day, and that meal typically consisted of a bagel with butter. I would look up the calories in ibuprofen before taking it, I started drinking my coffee black to avoid the calories from cream, I was constantly lying to my friends and family about my eating, I wouldn’t even let myself drink carbonated water because it made me feel bloated. I was so so so sick. Within one year, I had lost a total of 50 pounds, gone down 2 bra sizes, and had no longer fit in any of my clothing. I am a 6’3” woman and was weighing in at 124lbs when I decided that I needed to make a change if I wanted to live.

In November of 2022, I decided to actively work on getting better. I threw away my scale and called my doctor to get a referral to an ED program. I was advised to go completely inpatient considering the severity of my problem.

It’s hard. Every single day of this healing process has been hard for me. I have not once weighed myself since November and have been eating normal meals again. I refuse to let myself see the calories of the things that I eat and I’m pushing myself to break all of the unhealthy “rules” that I had previously made for myself. It’s obvious that I have gained quite a bit of weight since starting this journey, and although I still struggle with that and frequently have negative thoughts… I’m recovering and I’m trying. And that is all the matters.

I’ve slowly been learning to love myself with this new and improved body and I’m proud of myself for making it this far. I promise myself that I will continue to grow and heal even on days where I want to relapse or when I feel worthless or uncomfortable in my own skin.

I just recently learned some information that caused me to really, truly think about this terrible illness and how deeply and negatively it has, and always will, affect my life. About 3 weeks ago I wound up in the emergency department with severe heart palpitations, tachycardia, and vertigo. After doing an EKG and further testing, I was diagnosed with a rare heart condition in which can cause sudden fainting, seizures, or even sudden death. Unfortunately, one of the few things that can cause this, are eating disorders, more specifically anorexia nervosa. I wanted to throw up when I heard this. I didn’t realize how badly my ED could have been affecting my health. All that ever ran through my head was that I wanted to be skinny. I wanted to be thin because I didn’t feel worthy if I wasn’t. Surely, nobody would love me or want to see me naked if I wasn’t thin. What absolutely bullshit that is. I’m heartbroken for myself and I am so sad that I ever let myself get that bad. It devastates me to think about how many other people (men, women, young, old, etc.) struggle with eating disorders every waking minute of their lives. It isn’t worth it.

Please, please, please reach out to somebody if you are struggling with an eating disorder. You are so worth it and you deserve a chance at a happy and healthy life. You are SO much more than a number on a scale.

The first 5 photos are pictures that I took when I was at my unhealthiest and the remaining pictures are recent.

#recovery #may be triggering #mental health #ed awareness #snowandsage #body image #body dysmorphia

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k-s-morgan · 1 year

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Those Gentle Slopes that Lead to Hell: Snippet 1

Here’s a small snippet with our favorite idiot demon struggling with attachment and plotting the ways to get rid of it :D

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It took Sebastian a day to conclude that attachment was the most degrading feeling a demon could experience. It took another one to decide that he needed to rip it out of his chest or to risk losing his sanity.

The consistent malfunctioning of his body. The illogical thoughts that plagued his mind. The reactions and instincts that he couldn’t begin to comprehend — all of these were the symptoms of his malady, and he wanted to be rid of it.

To begin with, he had to understand what was causing it. What aspect of Ciel Phantomhive’s existence had placed this simmering sensation inside him? Why did it happen now yet never before? Sebastian had served thousands of humans. What made this one different? The soul, yes, but it was to become his meal. Liking the soul did not mean being attached to a person, so there had to be something else at play.

His first thought was beauty. His current lord stood out from the rest in terms of physical appearance. It was curious that Sebastian hadn’t realised it from the start — when they first made their contract, he considered the boy a scrawny, unimpressive little thing, formidable only due to how proudly he held himself despite the pain and because of the unique, contradictory brilliance of his soul.

His earlier inobservance appalled him. He was always drawn to beauty, whether it was displayed through art, architecture, or appearance, so how he could miss the delicate features, the bluest eyes, and all that inviting hair was beyond him.

The clothing he’d been choosing for his Master didn’t help matters, so this was what Sebastian chose to change first. He spent an hour selecting the most boring, bland, and unappealing pieces from the boy’s wardrobe. Then he stared at the results critically.

The combination of grey and brown dulled the sharpness of Ciel Phantomhive’s looks, but only to an extent. He remained startling, and Sebastian still felt that disturbing jolt of emotions when he looked at him.

Perhaps the key lied in making him look ridiculous, but this plan was complicated by his lord himself. He might have been indifferent to clothes, but even he suspected something was wrong when Sebastian found a pompous yellow suit and tried to put it on him.

“Where did you find this atrocity?” the boy stared at it warily. He didn’t make a move to let Sebastian put the shirt on him, so Sebastian let out an exasperated sigh.

“This is a current trend in Victorian society,” he said. “This suit will emphasise your status.”

He believed his words were convincing. He wasn’t going to let his lord enter any public places like this, but maybe seeing him walk around the manor in such clothes would be enough to kill whatever weed of fondness developed in him.

Unfortunately, Young Master only frowned at him, crossing his arms against his chest.

“I don’t recall seeing people dressed like clowns,” he said darkly. “A purple shirt and a yellow suit? This is ridiculous. I’m not wearing it.”

“Since when did you start paying attention to clothes?” Sebastian snapped in annoyance, and his lord’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead.

“Watch your tone,” he warned. “And I don’t need to pay attention to clothes to know that this suit is an abomination. I think I’d remember London society adopting the looks of exotic parrots!”

They glared at one another. Despite the irritation and disappointment hissing in Sebastian, he decided against arguing any longer. With a sour expression, he put the suit away, bringing out the more typical blue-and-black combination.

It was irrelevant, he soothed himself. The whole plan was imperfect from the start — making his lord look stupid could work only if he managed to secure his success by making it constant, and there was no way to achieve this. Even someone as indifferent to fashion as Ciel Phantomhive would protest, just as he had now, and showing himself as an incompetent butler verged into the territory Sebastian wasn’t comfortable with.

He needed something more permanent. The clothes were merely an attribute, so perhaps disfiguring the Young Master could bring him the results he wanted.

Sebastian spent the rest of the day wondering about it. His entire being rebelled against the idea, but wasn’t it evidence that this was exactly what he needed? He was certain that the reluctance came from the attached side of him that he was trying to destroy. It was natural for it to fight against something that would finally bring it to its end.

#my fics #black butler #kuroshitsuji #sebaciel #sebastian michaelis

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winns-stuff · 1 year

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LO APPRECIATION:

Okay I know I’ve been bullshitting this whole time with this post my bad. But I finally have the motivation to do it so here we go. I’ve been meaning to introduce you all to this dashing devil ever since I decided to start these appreciations, it’s a crime that I’ve taken so long with him but soon my charges will be lifted. Everyone raise your glasses and welcome Hermes to the new year!

Yes, I’ll be doing Hermes this time mostly because I actually really liked his personality and character. Now, do I enjoy the fact that Rachel made him a borderline pervert? Absolutely not, genuinely believe that that was character assassination so Hades can be the only “good guy” in this story which is ass because he’s not even a good guy. If you need to assassinate every male interest in order to make the main love interest look better than maybe he’s not the best one, that’s all I’m saying. I also despise how he became an echo chamber for Persephone with all of the compliments and holier than thou speeches he now gives about her constantly because it ruined his character completely, we haven’t even seen him in a very long time and we don’t even know if he’s okay all because he was only ever meant to be a side character who was obsessed with Persephone. The shit is stupid and redundant and it’s getting on my nerves how this comic butchers and shuns characters in favor for HxP, like I said if you have to do all that to play up how good they are they’re really at the bottom of the barrel.

Anyway, now that I’ve addressed his flaws I can now talk about what I like about him and his character. One thing for sure is that he has to be the only character with a consistent character design for the most part which already makes him very unique from the rest of the cast and I appreciate that cause it gets tiring seeing everything be so off all of the time. It really confuses me when everyone starts changing colors, body types, hairstyles, and even height. But luckily no one has changed him in a drastic way yet so let’s all be glad about still being able to look at Hermes and say that it’s Hermes.

Next is his fashion. You can argue that a lot of times he’s kinda in his underwear or his sleeping clothes but he always manages to make it work. He has such a great sense of fashion that I genuinely appreciate because I think it’s really fun and carefree which really suits him. I wish that Rachel and her team actually cared about the wardrobe in Lore Olympus when drawing the characters and make it in a way that it’s not just from Pinterest because it just feels like they’re just looking for things that they think would be cute and not the wardrobe of the characters that they created. Like for example Persephone, she wears these weird tight dresses and high fashion clothes even though it doesn’t match her character at all, she’s from humble beginnings and she’s supposed to be innocent and shy so why would she wear high fashion clothes like that since it would most likely draw more attention to herself. You’d think she’d like more comfier and minimal clothes, maybe even flower print? Something that actually represents her and not random women you see on the app. But there’s something about Hermes’ way of dressing that does say a lot about him and I feel like it tells readers what kind of person he is, which is why I enjoy it so much.

Next one is his personality. I love how energetic and goofy he is, I know the main cast is “just like that” but they’re like that in an annoying way. Their goofiness doesn’t come naturally like it does with Hermes, it always feels forced which make everything so stale. But with Hermes he has an amazing balance of when and where to be goofy, like it’s the perfect amount to not make you bored of him and not be annoyed with him which is why so many people love him including me. It’s always stuck with me how he acts and I genuinely think he’s got one of the best personalities in the comic, no one else really rivals him (right now of course since it’s late and my brain is half on half off) which is why I adore his personality so much.

Another thing I love about him is definitely the way that his hair is always so flowy and all over the place yet put together at the same time. Like is it just me who gets so amazed at how his hair is drawn? I fucking love it it’s like Rachel put visual drugs in his hair I’ve never loved a characters hair more than Hermes’ hair. It’s more complex than a lot of the main cast really and it’s so pleasing to look at, not only that but it really gives him even more personality and it fits him. There’s so many hints of who he is that lies in the way his hair is drawn that I can’t even begin to cover it and while everyone else’s hair lacks any volume and personality the opposite has to be said about his hair because it would be a lie to say that his hair doesn’t have a personality of it’s own which makes him even more intriguing.

Last thing is his overall character design. I’ve always enjoyed the way that Hermes looked because I thought it was pretty especially with the red that he’s got going on I think it’s really nice, not too bright and not too muted it’s a nice color to give him I’d say. I was scared though with the later seasons because I saw so many characters, many of them being my favorites, being completely changed and altered which really fucked me up because I felt like they lost all uniqueness and originality from that since I truly believe that character design also tells a lot about a character and their identity so to have their designs change it took away from them everything that made them those characters in the first place and replaced them with uncanny clones trying to mimic what they once were. Luckily though Hermes’ character hasn’t changed too much like I said earlier, it really makes me happy to see it since I think his design is one of the best, maybe even godly (get it? please laugh - joke btw).

Bonus: I love his mom too I’ve always thought she was so pretty, mainly because all of her colors and her clothes everything made sense with her and she also has an amazing character design. Also she’s very very pretty, I would like everyone to know that. It’s completely disappointing that we don’t get to see her more I feel like she was a really fun character and loving mom because of the way Hermes turned out in Lore Olympus (minus the perverted stuff) maybe I’ll make a separate post for her… Spoiler I will no doubt about it.

Anyways this is the end of the appreciation post but surely not the end of the appreciation I and his stans will be giving him of course. I’m sorry for making this long I feel like I rambled mostly but I hope everything makes sense, happy new years!

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lo hermes

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everybody-loves-purdy · 1 year

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I wish that people who hated Nightheart wouldn’t be so, like,,, hostile about it towards his fans, I guess? Idk I personally relate to him to an significant degree (like I don’t think I’ve ever related this much to a character before ngl) in spite of his flaws. And yet, in saying this (on both tumblr in the past and on other sites), I have been attacked verbally and accused of being somehow misogynistic (uh,,, what? Many of my favorite characters are literally the she-cats, such as Mothwing or Frostpaw or Hollyleaf or Squirrelflight) or even accused of being ‘abusive’ for liking him, which really doesn’t make any sense to me either? He’s not, y’know, Bramblestar or something. This is especially true when it comes to trans headcanons: I personally like to view Nightheart as transmasc like myself because I find a lot of his story elements regarding his name change and identity issues ofc. But,,, whenever I say anything abt this headcanon there’s always some ppl who use it as ammo to accuse me / others of awful stuff. I even got told to unal1ve myself by someone before over this which is,,, not cool. I try not to let this sorta thing get to me but I do feel that it has gotten pretty extreme over this past year and I don’t think it’s okay at all. People can like or dislike whatever characters they want imo (unless we’re talking about, like, Thistleclaw supporters. That’s a bit weird) and they should never ever be sent literal hate or harassment over it. I just kinda want people to chill a bit and maybe consider that there are better ways to discuss any disagreements they may have over the books and not jump straight into being cruel / accusatory towards them, if that makes sense.

I agree, I understand why people may not like Nightheart but it is completely unacceptable for people to be harassing people like that, I’m very sorry you’ve experienced that. I understand people are frustrated about how the female characters around Nightheart have been written in Sky. But that’s a writing issue and not a reflection on Nightheart himself imo, and it is extremely unfair to judge people for liking him. Especially with as you say Nightheart not being problematic in himself.

Of course it’s not excusable to harass people in any kind of character debate such as this but I feel that the Nightheart hate has become extreme in certain areas given how unproblematic the actual character is, if people enjoy the who he is then let people enjoy him. I find him funny, I like Nightheart, and although I can definitely see the issues with how some characters have been presented to suit his narrative more I still like the character.

Obviously this isn’t all Nightheart dislikers I’m talking about, not by any means, but the minority that do harass people like this are just ruining it for everyone.

I do wonder, obviously without reading Shadow myself, if this is inherently an author issue this stems from. In River the world warped around Nightheart much less and the female family members in his life were treated with more consistent and sympathetic characterisation. That was a Cherith book. People after River disliked Nightheary sure but it was more of a “I find him annoying” thing. Sky is where it all went wrong and where I’ve noticed people taking it out on Nightheart for being understandably upset about Sparkpelt’s and Finchlight’s characterisation changes in that book. That book does have much more emphasis on the Firestar thing from characters who are not Nightheart (in River his frustrations were largely self imposed), and the TC female characters act a lot more unreasonable than they usually would in general. That was a Kate book. Meanwhile I have heard that Shadow, another Cherith book, treats his female relatives much more sympathetically again. So I can’t help feel that author bias may be influencing the writing associated with him here? Sorry to go off on a tangent at the end here but it’s just a thought, and one I wonder if could cause a change in fandom perception of Nightheart again once shadow is out.

#malachaiiiii #nightheart

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cerealmonster15 · 2 years

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New Memories in Good Company [Twst fic]

[read on Ao3]

Rating: G

Wordcount: 4,082

Summary: Cater takes Riddle out for a day on the town in an attempt to teach him to relax and just be a teenager.

“Riddle!” Cater’s cheerful voice broke through the silence in Heartslabyul’s common room as he came bouncing down the stairs and plopped down next to Riddle on the couch. “You busy?”

“I was just doing a crossword puzzle this morning,” Riddle replied, “But I actually just finished. Did you need something?”

Cater’s smile widened as he clasped his hands together. “Ooh, perfect timing for Cay-Cay! Wanna come shopping in town with me?”

Riddle tilted his head. “What could you possibly need to go buy that requires an extra set of hands to carry back?”

Cater tilted his head back, mirroring Riddle’s confused expression. “Huh? Carry? No, I don’t need anything specific.”

“Then why go? I don’t have anything I needed either, if that’s what you were thinking. Perhaps you heard Trey talking about the weekly grocery trip-”

“No, Riddle!” Cater whined. “It’s not shopping with a purpose, it’s shopping for funsies!”

Riddle only looked more confused. “For.. whatsies?”

Cater sighed dramatically, leaning back on the couch and idly kicking his feet. “Y’know, walking around the shops just ‘cause! Maybe finding something exciting to take home, maybe not. We’ll go just to hang out!”

Riddle continued to peer at Cater with curiosity and uncertainty. “What would be the purpose of taking a trip to the store just to ‘hang out’,” he said, making air quotes as he spoke, “if we have no business there? You could just as easily spend time with a friend on campus.”

“OMG, Riddle, you’re killin’ me here!” Cater’s eyes grew wide as he sat back up, leaning close into Riddle’s space. “Are you saying you’ve never just wandered around a shopping center without purpose? Like, you only go clothes shopping or whatever when you specifically need something?!”

Riddle leaned back from the sudden encroachment on his personal space. “I am not one to spend my time frivolously. As for clothes…” Riddle pinched the hem of his own shirt between his fingers. “...My mother had full control over my wardrobe back home. I only went with her so she could be sure her selection fit me properly.”

Cater gasped and slapped his hand to his chest in melodramatic horror. “You mean you’ve NEVER been allowed to pick out your own clothes? Not ONCE!?”

Riddle’s cheeks reddened as he averted his gaze away from Cater and towards the floor. “Does it really matter, if what I have fits me just fine and suits my needs?”

Cater’s face softened. “There’s more to clothes than functionality, you know. It’s fun to get to personalize your wardrobe and express yourself!

“Why would-?”

Before Riddle could question any further, Cater jumped up and took Riddle by the hands, pulling him to his feet. “Change of plans; we ARE shopping with a purpose today. I’m taking you out right now, and we are gonna find you a fun new outfit!”

“So, is there any kind of look that you’ve been dying to try out?” Cater asked Riddle as they walked through the racks of clothing, pausing to feel a fluffy white sweater that was peeking out from amidst the rest.

Riddle squinted at the sweater. “...Not particularly. I’d never really given it much thought before. I suppose…” His gaze fell on the rest of the rack, and Riddle felt a bit overwhelmed at the sheer volume of choices before him. “I can’t exactly say that I know what I like...”

Oh, the way this boy could consistently break Cater’s heart with statements like that.

“Well, now’s the perfect time to find out!” Cater hummed, putting a hand to his chin as he thought about what to choose for this game of dress-up. “Why don’t we try experimenting with something new? You’re always in such proper, preppy clothes… Let’s do something bolder!” He ran his hand through a nearby rack, pushing the hangers around until his face lit up. “Oh my god, Riddle, please try this on.”

Riddle looked at the garment Cater pulled out, and scowled. “...You want me to wear a studded leather jacket? I’ll look ridiculous.”

“Not if you coordinate it properly! Here, it’d look so perf with these jeans!” Cater handed the jacket to Riddle and lunged at another rack, pulling out a pair of black jeans he’d eyed and tossed that at Riddle as well before he had the chance to protest.

Before he knew it, Riddle found himself in the dressing room, with Cater buzzing around outside, waiting in anticipation.

“C’mon, lemme see, Riddle!” Cater called from the other side of the door. “Look, I promise I won’t be like your mom and make you try on a million outfits for me. I just wanna see you in this one first, y’know, to break the ice! I think you’ll totally have an easier time picking stuff out once you get started.”

Riddle let out a sigh. Honestly, the things he let Cater get away with…

He pulled on the sleeveless top and the jacket, and paused to check how they looked in the mirror. While he didn’t think this particular look would be his style, he had to admit that Cater had a good eye for finding clothes that compliment each other well.

Then, he went to change his pants. He picked up the jeans to get a closer inspection, but scowled as they unfolded.

“Cater,” Riddle said through the door. “I think you grabbed a defective pair of jeans.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“There are holes all over!” He scrunched his nose as he stuck his finger through the gaping spots. “Honestly, how did something like this get past quality control?”

Cater only laughed. “No, Riddle, the holes are supposed to be there!”

“What?” Riddle stared at the jeans in confusion. “Why would anyone want a pair of purposefully destroyed jeans!?”

“Don’t think about it too hard, Riddle; it’s fashion! It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s just gotta be fun!”

Riddle didn’t know what was ‘fun’ about wearing damaged garments, but he supposed there was no harm in trying it on…

A few moments later, the door creaked open, and Riddle stepped out apprehensively. “Um-”

“Oh my god, YES!” Cater grinned, clapping his hands together. “You look so different! The black outfit really makes the redness of your hair pop. C’mon, lemme take a pic!”

Riddle scowled. “Absolutely not. I would never hear the end of it from our classmates if they saw me in such a ridiculous outfit!”

“Aww, but it’s so fun! Pleeeaase?” Cater pouted. “I’ll keep it our little secret! No posting this one- promise.”

Riddle took one look at Cater’s pleading expression and sighed. “...Fine. So long as you keep your word of respecting my privacy.”

“Yay, thanks! You can count on me!” Cater said with an excited and lightning fast click of the camera on his phone. “Ahh, you look SO cute! C’mon, let’s have you pick something out, next!”

The two spent what felt like hours going through rack after rack of different outfits in styles that Riddle didn’t even know existed. He’d started to think the two of them would be there until closing time, but, as he currently stood in the changing room, admiring the outfit he’d just put together…

Cater knocked on the door. “Riddle! What’d you find? C’mon, I wanna see!”

Riddle stepped out in a loose fit T-shirt, plain white, save for a palm-sized emblem of a red rose on the corner pocket. He’d paired it with simple blue jeans, and the most casual pair of gray sneakers he’d ever worn in his life.

Cater broke out into a huge grin. “Oh my god! It suits you perfectly!” He was already pulling out his phone, and started snapping pictures. “The simplistic style of that shirt, with the red rose motif for our dearest Heartslabyul Housewarden? I can’t think of anything better. And you look so comfy!”

Riddle’s face grew hot from Cater’s intense enthusiasm. “A-Alright, that’s enough of that! Let’s just go pay.”

Cater just laughed. “Oki-doki! But you have to put that outfit on again after we pay. I want more pics of the new you!”

“Fine, fine.”

Once Riddle changed back and they headed to the check out, something caught Cater’s eye, halting him in his tracks.

Riddle nearly crashed into his back. “Wh- Cater?! Why did you stop in the middle of the walkway? You’re blocking the path for other patrons.”

Cater just grinned, taking Riddle’s arm and pulling him to the side. “Look!” He picked up what appeared to be a round, brightly colored, stuffed cat.

Riddle looked at it, confused. “You’re… Excited over a children’s toy?”

“It’s more than that, Riddle!” Cater pushed it into Riddle’s hands as he browsed the shelves for more. “These things are all the rage on Magicam! They were really popular when we were kids, and they’ve been making a #Nostalgia comeback lately, so the company put out a new line lately as like, an homage to the good ol’ days!” He gasped, reaching out to touch what appeared to be a stuffed, round puppy. “Aw, I remember having one like this when I was younger!” He smiled at Riddle. “What about you? Don’t these totally bring back memories of your favorite stuffed animal?”

Riddle gazed into the bright, shiny eyes of the kitty plush in his hands. “...Not really.”

Cater gave him a puzzled look. “No? Well, what kind of toys did you play with when you were a kid?”

“I… Didn’t really have much in the way of frivolous toys, I suppose. My mother had me focused on schoolwork and more practical hobbies for as long as I could remember.”

Cater looked horrified. “You didn’t have, like, any toys?!”

Riddle did his best to think, but nothing particularly came to mind. “I suppose it’s possible I had a few when I was an infant, but I’d have been too young to remember such things.”

Cater gave him a pained look, clutching his chest with one hand for dramatic effect, and putting the other on Riddle’s shoulder. “This cannot go on, Riddle. We’re buying you one of these right now!”

“What?! Cater, don’t be ridiculous. I-I’m not a child,” Riddle said, putting the cat plush back on the shelf. He crossed his arms, cheeks tinted pink, and stared at the floor.

Cater’s heart ached at the sight before him. He scanned the shelves in front of him, racking his brain for some kind of solution…

Ah.

“Well…” Cater said, reaching for something further back that he spotted on the shelf. “I def need to take one of these home for my Magicam account.” He held up his find: a brown, very round, stuffed hedgehog.

Riddle’s eyes widened.

It was really, really cute.

Cater couldn’t help but smile at the look of childlike wonder on Riddle’s face. “So this little guy’s just gonna have to come back to Heartslabyul with us! Don’t you think it’ll look super cute if we pose it with the lil’ hedgies in the dorm?”

Riddle could not deny the high adorability factor of such a concept. “I… Suppose that would make for a nice photo setting, yes.”

“Great!” Cater bounced on the balls of his feet with excitement. “Let’s go check out.”.

The pair walked for a while through the town streets, taking in the different shops and sights as they passed by. A performing musician stood on a street corner, her sweet violin music drawing their attention. Without any words, the two found themselves wandering over to observe the performance. It was pretty, gentle, and attention-grabbing.

But, though Riddle was thoroughly enraptured by the performance, he instead felt Cater’s eyes staring intently at him, rather than the performer.

“...Cater, if you have something to say, then come out with it.” Riddle said, speaking quietly as to not disturb the performance, even though they were outside on a fairly bustling street full of conversations.

“Oh, sorry, Riddle! You’re just so cute, I can’t help but stare,” Cater winked.

Riddle only responded with an unimpressed, silent stare right back.

“Okay, okay,” Cater laughed. “You caught me! I was just thinking, since we’re out here finding the new you and all…” He reached out and pushed some of Riddle’s hair behind his ear. “And I was just thinking that the perfect finishing touch to this new outfit of yours would be if you got your ears pierced!”

Riddle’s eyes widened. Surely he heard Cater wrong. “Excuse me!? Have you lost your mind, Cater?”

“I think you’d look cool!”

“I think you’re delusional.”

“Oh, c’mon, hear me out!” Cater pleaded.

“My mother would have my head if I showed up with piercings in any part of my body!” Riddle practically shouted, forgetting about the performer as they spoke.

Cater couldn’t help but grin as the two continued down the street. “Exactly, dear! What better way to embrace your own identity and stick it to your overbearing mother than doing something bold and daring like this?! And, besides,” he flicked his own earring as he spoke, “we could be matchy-matchy!”

“I cannot believe you’re so nonchalant about this.”

“I mean, I got mine pierced a while ago, and I didn’t die. Neither will you.” Cater offered a gentler smile to Riddle. “Honestly, it’s not so bad, and it feels so freeing. Like, you unlock another level of self expression, from the ears! And, besides, what’s your mom gonna do if she hates it? Once they’re all healed up, she can’t exactly unpierce your ears.” He gave Riddle a pat on the shoulder. “When it comes down to it, it’s your choice, no matter what anyone says! Not mine, not your mom’s, no one’s choice but yours, Riddle.”

…Huh.

No one but Riddle…

Riddle stood, eyebrows furrowed with intense concentration as he let Cater’s words sink in.

Cater was elated that Riddle seemed to even be considering the idea at all. Had he suggested such a thing just one year ago, Cater was sure he wouldn’t have even gotten the full sentence out before getting shot down. He probably wouldn’t have even tried asking, really, as the Riddle from one year ago was much different from the one that stood in front of Cater today. Sure, he was still a strict and hot-headed rule-follower, but Cater had been there since Riddle’s first day at Night Raven College. He and Trey had stood by Riddle’s side as his right-hand men ever since Riddle took over as Housewarden of Heartslabyul dorm after his first week of school. He was a force to be reckoned with, and everyone knew that. Sure, Cater wasn’t an official Vice Housewarden, like Trey, but he was often involved with helping lead nearly just as many tea party preparations and underclassmen supervising, and such a role didn’t come from blind trust.

To an outsider, Riddle might seem like the same rule-following robot he appeared to be on his first day through the mirror.

But, Cater was no outsider.

Cater was Riddle’s friend.

He was Riddle’s friend, and he knew better. Riddle still had his flaws, sure. Who didn’t, especially at a school like Night Raven College? But, despite his hang-ups, Riddle was someone who was trying. He helped Deuce understand basic math concepts that he’d struggled with. He created a magicam account just to help trick Cater into studying for an exam. He was… doing his best not to have a meltdown over EVERY little Queen of Hearts rule infringement.

Riddle was, like any other teenager, a work in progress.

And he was Cater’s friend.

And Cater’s friend was now looking up at Cater, with a determined look in his eye.

“I’ll do it.”

“Wait, for real?!” Cater gasped, his eyes lit up with glee. “You’ll come with me to get your ears pierced? Seriously!?”

Riddle took a slow breath. “...Yes. I want to pierce my ears. For me.”

Cater grinned, reaching out to take Riddle’s hand, and guided him over to the local piercing shop. “You’re gonna love it, I promise.”

“Riddle, I can’t get over how adorbs you look!” Cater said as the two exited the shop. “Those are gonna look SO good with the dorm uniform!”

Riddle resisted the urge to touch his earlobes, wanting to give them a chance to heal. He had chosen small, golden studs shaped like little crowns.

Fitting, for the Queen of Hearts motif that his uniform carried. Even in the face of teenage rebellion, Riddle still wanted to look his best.

“Oooh, look; let’s go into that new café over there!” Cater said, pointing to a tiny little shop at the corner of the path. “I heard it just opened, and the reviews have all been crazy good.”

“I’m not particularly hungry,” Riddle said as he followed Cater through the entrance, “but I don’t mind accompanying you.”

“No, but… Riddle!” Cater complained. “We talked about this; you’ve gotta try the full experience! Let me buy you a fun drink or something, at least! You can take it with you if you don’t finish, but you gotta try. Please?”

“Cater, I do not drink things ‘for fun.’”

“Yeah, you’re tellin’ me.” Cater rolled his eyes playfully and led Riddle to the counter with him, pointing up to the menu. “It doesn’t hurt to have something extra once in a while. Live a little!”

Riddle peered at the menu, feeling once again intimidated by the large list of strangely named drinks that awaited to be chosen from. “Um…”

“Want me to make a suggestion?” Cater asked with an eager smile.

“If you insist.”

“Hmm, well, you like sweet things, right? Like, Trey’s strawberry tarts and stuff.” Cater tapped his chin. “...Oh, I’ve got it!”

Moments later, Cater and Riddle were seated at a secluded table off in the corner with their drinks. Cater had ordered himself a simple latte, and of course, he’d requested the barista to surprise him with some cute latte art for his magicam feed.

He’d happily received one with a cute little cat smiling up at him, its foam paws sticking out over the edge.

And for Riddle…

“Is this… a drink, or a dessert?” He asked, staring at the cup. Inside was what appeared to be a scoop of strawberry ice cream, partially submerged by coffee, and topped with chocolate shavings.

“It’s both! Or, well… No, I think it’s just a dessert, actually,” Cater laughed. “It’s an affogato, kinda. I don’t think they usually make ‘em with strawberry ice cream, but I asked for a substitution, just for you!” He said with a wink.

Riddle smiled. “Thank you, Cater. It looks quite good.”

“No prob! But, lemme take a pic, first. Ooh, actually, let’s take a drink selfie!” Cater scooted his chair over beside Riddle, putting his arm around him and angling the camera upward to make sure to get the drinks in frame with their smiling faces. He reached the hand on Riddle’s shoulder up as they posed, and tucked the hair behind his ear, before clicking the shutter. “Had to make sure we got those sweet new studs in the pic!”

Riddle picked up his spoon and tried his new dessert, as Cater flashed the phone in his direction.

“Look how cute we are! Riddle, you’ve gotta let me post this one. Please?” Cater asked, with his sweetest pleading face.

Riddle sighed, unable to resist the soft smile on his face. “Alright, if you must.”

“Yes!” He cheered, and got to tapping out the perfect hashtags. He made sure to tag Riddle’s Magicam account, as unused as it normally was.

The photo had only been posted for a few seconds, before Cater’s phone pinged with a comment notification

Ace Trappola: no way. theres NO WAY those are real. i refuse to believe that u got HOUSEWARDEN RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS to pierce his ears!!! who is that cater. who did u pay to pretend to be riddle? tell me rn.

Cater giggled as he read the comment out to Riddle. “Looks like Acey’ll be waiting for us with questions when we get back.”

Riddle sighed. “He should be focusing that much attention on his studying, not other people’s ears.”

Another notification popped up.

Deuce Spade: woah :0?!?!?!?!?

And another.

Trey Clover: Glad you two are having fun :)

“Trey’s so dorky when he writes Magicam comments. He sounds like such a parent,” Cater laughed.

Notification after notification kept popping up as they sat, and Cater moved back to sit beside Riddle so he could put the phone between them, where they could both read the comments as they appeared on screen.

Chen’ya: Ooohoho, we should swap earrings sometime :3

Epel Felmier: omg riddle u look so badass!!!!

Kalim Al-Asim: YES!!!!! ♥💜🧡❤💛💖🕺🕺🕺 welcome to the earring buddies club riddle!!!! :D!!!! you look sooo good!!!!

Jamli Viper: Nice.

Floyd Leech: GOLDFISHIE PIERCED HIS EARS 👀👀👀👀?!?!!?!? hahahahahaha omg i didnt think u had it in ya!!! thats so funny lol

Riddle glared at the phone as Cater hastily swept that notification away from view.

Jade Leech: Oh my. A rather bold choice from our dear Riddle. They look very nice on you. I look forward to seeing this change for myself, in person.

Azul Ashengrotto: How unexpected. Do let me know if you need any assistance finding discounts on quality jewelry in the future. I’d be more than happy to assist.

“Ugh,” Riddle rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his dessert. “Are those guys just sitting around Mostro Lounge on their phones and scheming together?!”

“Knowing Octavinelle? Probably!” Cater swiped away the notifications, as more came in.

Rook Hunt: Oh, si magnifique, Roi de Roses 🌹👑💖!!! I cannot wait to bask in your splendor when you arrive back on campus. You look truly lovely, embracing this new side of yourself ✨✨✨

Lilia Vanrouge: if you're ever looking for something bolder, you are free to visit my wardrobe sometime :3

Silver: 👍

A different sound tone played, as Cater received a text instead of a comment.

Vil Shoenheit: Just how much sugar are you feeding that boy, Cater? Is that even considered a drink?

Cater huffed in offense as he picked up his phone to text Vil back.

Cater Diamond: Whatever!!! You wont even follow me back on magicam, and yet you’re peepin’ my posts 👀?? How’d you even see that??

Vil Schoenheit: I’m sitting next to Rook.

Cater Diamond: lmao you’re basically following me by association

Vil Schoenheit: And yet, that’s not enough to keep you from pestering me for a follow, is it?

Cater Diamond: Nope 🧡

Vil Schoenheit: Hah. You’re hopeless 💜

Cater just laughed as he put his phone back down.

Riddle shook his head. “Why does it feel like you and Vil have that same conversation every week?”

“Because we do,” Cater grinned. “And I am nothing if not dedicated! It’s basically a challenge at this point, Riddle!” He said as he finished off the last of his latte.

“Ugh, I’ll never understand you and your social media fascination…” Riddle said, as he, too, finished his dessert-drink thing.

“You don’t have to! You’ve done plenty for me, just looking super cute, and bringing in the post engagement! You’re gonna steal the hearts of all my Magicam followers, with just your ears!”

Riddle couldn’t help but laugh, as the two stood to leave.

As Riddle returned to his bedroom, he turned the shopping bags from the day over and slid the contents out onto his bed so that he could properly fold and put away the extra clothes. His eyes widened, as he noticed an unexpected item tumble out of one of the shopping bags.

It was a brown, very round, stuffed hedgehog. Cater must have snuck it into his bag when he wasn’t looking…

Riddle gently picked up the hedgehog, running his hand over the soft plush fabric. He felt a warm smile forming on his face, and he moved to tuck the hedgehog within the pillows on his neatly made bed.

Riddle sat on the edge of his bed, and pulled out his phone. He opened his camera, pointing it at the neatly made bed, with the hedgehog centered, and clicked to take a photo.

He opened Magicam, the selfie Cater posted with him earlier popping up first thing on his feed.

Like.

A few more taps on his phone, and he’d made his first post in months.

Seconds later, a notification appeared on his screen.

Cater Diamond: Best shopping trip 🧡🧡🧡

Riddle smiled, tucked his phone into his pocket, and went to put away the rest of his clothes.

#twisted wonderland #cater diamond #riddle rosehearts #twst #cereal writes #ok ya tryin what i used to do and posting the actual fic here too with the link #instead of just the link #anyway behold my cater + riddle friendship propaganda #i think the formatting's probs nicer on ao3 but Do As You Will #okay. okay bye 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️

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floral-poisons · 2 years

Note

How you meet for crewel and Crowley plz

Fluff

happy to provide!! considering we don't know much about crowley so far, i'm making the meet-cute more recent (in terms of like the current story i guess? idk i started writing this at 3 am). i went with like an abbott elementary type of thing with crowley.

also the image is wanderer above the sea of fog (1818) created by casper david friedrich.

DIRE CROWLEY

you decided a vacation was necessary for you. working at the royal sword academy was super stressful. it looked all pristine on the outside but you’d argue that the school had just as many problems, if not more, than the rival school nrc.

they were just better at hiding it especially since the school had their fair share of celebrities.

also when were you going to get promoted? it was kind of ridiculous how rsa was ran by another ambrose and the school just kept going with this tradition—

“thinking terrible thoughts, are we?”

“gah!” you almost spat out your drink, shivers running up your body. a man in a bird mask was sitting next to you.

“oh my bad. my students have a habit of telling me that i pop out if nowhere.” he chuckles.

“my students tell me something similar actually.” you sigh. “i’m not thinking terrible thoughts. i’m just thinking when i will get a promotion at my job. it’s ridiculous how a line of nepo babies basically means i will never be promoted to headmage!!”

“oh. you’re going for a headmage position? where exactly do you work at?”

“royal sword academy. run by the great ambrose the 63rd.” there was sarcasm dripping in your voice. “i’ve been at this position for over 10 years now!”

“what exactly if your position?”

“alchemy professor. and sometimes pr management.” you take a sip of your drink. “i specifically got my degree in education to be a headmage and here i am, a professor of alchemy.”

“i don’t think it’s all bad. besides, being a headmage is stressful. it requires a lot of generosity.” he leans back in his seat before putting a hand out. “dire crowley.”

you shake it. “(y/n) (l/n).”

“i’m the headmage of night raven college.”

DIVUS CREWEL

potionology was not your strong suit. it was always your weakest subject and you consistently did poorly in the class. well, not this year!! your second year at nrc would be different!

except the change you wanted didn’t happen overnight. instead, you seemed to get worse as each day in the semester went on.

usually you kept to yourself and you didn’t exactly talk to your lab partner. you also never asked for help because you were taught asking for help was a sign of weakness.

“hey!! hey are you listening!!!”

you look up and it just registers that there’s a boy your age snapping his fingers at you. he had quite the unique appearance with his split hair. your eyes glanced at the logo on his coat. pomefiore.

pomefiore students expected to be the center of attention 24/7 huh?

“i am not. i can do this myself.” you scoff.

“then you’re being ridiculous because you used the ingredients in the wrong order and considering your reputation last semester, i don’t think you’d want to make it worse.”

your face immediately grew hot. “excuse me!!”

“you’re terrible at potionology, even more so terrible at working alone, and your lack of precision and grace in this subject sickens me.” he crosses his arms. “i’m supposed to be your lab partner but i guess you don’t care enough about my own grade since we’re being graded as a pair. this is what i get for being partnered with you.”

“what is that supposed to mean!” you were angry, angry enough to throw the cauldron at him. how snobby!

“you literally have a reputation for causing people’s grades to fall in potionology because you refuse to communicate and you’re horrible at it and whatever you’re doing to study clearly isn’t working.”

your mouth was left gaping open at the fact that he had the audacity to talk to you like that. but more so that he was right. “i…”

“so are you going to listen to me and let me help you? i’m literally the top student in potionology.” he scoffs.

“i…sure.” you scoot aside to let him into the space and immediately he dumps the whole potion.

“we’re going to have to start over and if you wanna pass, listen to what i have to say and follow my instructions. got it?”

“yeah…”

“the name’s divus, by the way. divus crewel.”

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #nrc staff #divus crewel #dire crowley

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lokifantasies · 11 months

Text

Jade begs her father to let her join the team, and he isn't lying when he tells her that it won't be easy.

Follow Jade here!

Follow Loki here!

Read the Mischievous Life series here!

taglist! (let me know if you want to be added)

@1marvelnerd3000 @agentkinghorn @angeldarkness95 @arypesanchez @chaotic-neutral-queen @donttouchmylaevateinn @emerald-alone @eyesbluelikethetitanic @fa-me @ferriswheel97 @geeky-politics-46 @holdmytesseract @iris-shihabi @itsybitchylittlewitchy @jeongadelarinia @lokistoriesblog @lougy @melianisnothere @mqrvelbvnch @mm2305 @mortallythoughtfulgurl @nms224 @prettysbliss @sharris8@shraddhadeveshvikram @xoxoloverb @you-will-find-peace-someday

“Why not?” Jade asked her father, crossing her arms and sitting across from him at the large table.

“Because I said so,” Loki responded – using the classic parental tautology. “It’s too dangerous for you.”

Jade rolled her eyes. “I’m a goddess,” she scoffed. “I think I can handle myself.”

The God of Mischief shook his head, looking towards the ground. “Something could happen to you…something irreversible….absolutely not.”

The eighteen-year-old rolled her eyes. “Then you train me…teach me everything you know,” she pleaded. “If it means I need to stay next to you at all times, then I’ll do it.”

Loki sighed. “Why do you want to join so badly?”

“Because,” she started – leaning back in her chair and looking her father in the eyes, “if I had known how to fight and defend myself…then maybe I wouldn’t have had what happened to me happen,” she tells him – taking his silence as a cue to continue. “I can’t go back in time and avenge myself against him...but maybe I can help avenge others.”

Loki nodded – coming around to his daughter’s pleas – understanding her reasons as to why she would want to put herself in such danger. “You’ll be trained extensively,” he began, “and don’t expect me to go easy on you – I will not treat you like a princess or my daughter but a goddess and a warrior.” Jade nodded along. “The others will be instructed to do the same. You will undoubtedly come home with cuts, bruises, and breaks…if you allow yourself to be wounded.”

“Deal,” she agreed – a look of seriousness across her face.

“And you will not partake in any mission that I deem too dangerous until I believe you are ready.”

“Deal.”

“You’ll need something to wear…something that’ll allow you space to move and protect you at the same time,” Loki told his daughter.

In front of her eyes, he conjured up an outfit – a suit of all black consisting of knee-high, steel-toed boots, tight fitting cargo pants so that she can move freely yet be protected, a long sleeve black dri-fit shirt with a long sleeve black overcoat that flowed down to her knees and consisting of a hood, fingerless leather gloves to keep her hands from getting injured and providing her with a strong grip.

Jade smiled. “Thank you, dad.”

“You’ll add things to it as you train and learn what you need to have on you,” he told her.

Jade smiled – admiring the new armor – knowing that it will always be something she’ll hold close. “What’re you waiting for?” he asked his eldest daughter.

Jade looked up, “Huh?”

“There’s no waiting period,” he told her – waving his hand and changing into his armor, “if you want to join, then you start training now.”

“I’ll be right back,” Jade said, running to her room to change into the new armor. As she changed, she couldn’t help but feel excited yet nervous. Her father told it to her – made it clear to her that he wouldn’t go easy on her…he was going to treat her like a true warrior – not his daughter. Would they make some sort of code word for her if it got too heated? Would he actually go far enough to cause her serious harm? No…there’s no way that he’d do anything to truly hurt her.

Once she’s finished changing, she makes her way to the living room, meeting up with her dad at the front door.

“Where’re we going?” she asked.

“Avengers training gym,” Loki told her, opening the door to allow her to exit first. They both headed to the tower – Jade asking the entire way about what was in store for her first training sessions. Her father, however, refused to tell her anything. “If I tell you what to expect then it’ll make the training less affective.” Jade nodded – trying to hide her nervousness from the god. It had just started to dawn on her that her father is a god. He had been a father to her for the entirety of her life, and she had never truly seen his true power – never been faced with the reality of having to fight him – training or otherwise. Growing up, neither you or Loki had laid a hand on any of your children, and in a few moments, your eldest would be truly fighting her father. She knew the obvious about her father – watch out for illusions and any other tricks that he may pull; however, the only time she ever saw him truly do any sort of magic was the night they went to cause chaos at Evan’s house, but even then, that wasn’t actually fighting – that was being mischievous.

Finally, they pulled up to the tower and got out – Jade following her father to the giant training gym.

“Woah,” Jade said softly as she walked in and looked around. “This place is -.”

Suddenly, she was cut off by a hard punch to the side of her body – the training had started before she could even get to know her surroundings. Jade backed away, getting distance between her and her father; however, he quickly closed it and swept out her left leg – causing her to fall hard onto the gym floor. She got up, and getting annoyed, she began to walk towards her father – planning on getting one good hit in. Before she could reach him though, Loki conjured up his daggers – holding them in each hand. Closing the distance yet again, Jade quickly jumped back – avoiding him as much as she could.

He really wasn’t going to go easy on her.

“Fuck!” she yelled out – feeling the pain of one of her father’s daggers slicing the skin on her forearm – feeling the blood run down her arm and falling to the floor. “What the hell?!”

“I warned you,” Loki said in an almost growl.

Jade growled – clearly annoyed that she had no means to defend herself against him and his blades. For now, she’d have to settle on avoiding him. It seemed like hours before Loki decided that she had had enough for one day and ended the training – watching at his eighteen-year-old daughter fell to the floor panting – trying to catch her breath. Loki conjured up a cold water bottle and wet, cold rag – bringing it over to his daughter as she fought to breathe.

“Here love,” he said, handing the opened water bottle to her and putting the rag around her neck to cool her down. Jade drank the bottle of water like she hadn’t had anything to drink in years – emptying it in a matter of seconds. As she drank it, her father bandaged up her arm – stopping the bleeding and making sure it was taken care of.

“Hey, let me see you,” Loki said, holding each side of his daughter’s face, “are you alright?” Panting, Jade managed to give him a small nod. “You need to walk – it’ll help you cool down faster,” he told her, pulling her up from the floor and guiding her out of the gym. “Let’s go on a walk.”

#loki fanfic #loki fandom #dad!loki #requests open #send requests #loki imagine #loki laufeyson #jade lokisdottir #mischievous life

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nessie31 · 2 months

Text

I’ve been debating writing this post all day. Last night it felt necessary; like there was no way to sort through my thoughts and feelings on the subject if I didn’t. But I knew if I started typing, J would be all up my ass and over my shoulder thinking I was texting L to bitch about him (and sure enough that’s what happened when I was typing something else). So I made myself a note to write it today.

Do I still feel strongly about the issue? Obviously or I wouldn’t have decided to write this. But there’s another part of me that just wants to ignore it and wasp it away so I don’t look too closely at it. Because if I ignore it then I can pretend everything is fine. I can pretend that it doesn’t break my soul continuing to allow it to happen.

But ignoring things has never been my strong suit.

Trust. Marriage, and relationships in general, in their most basic forms come down to trust. Do I trust this person to have my back? Do I trust them to stick by my side? Do I trust them to be honest with me? I could go on and on, but you get the point.

Now, do I know this is rich coming from me with everything I’ve done? Yes I do. But, like any good hypocrite, I’m going to say that’s a completely different situation with no baring on this situation.

I know I’ve done a lot of shit, especially in my teens and early twenties that was…questionable in character. I’ve lied to save face or get myself out of fucked up situations. Honestly though, who hasn’t?! I know I’m not the only one, and I know that it is not my distinguishing characteristic. I also know that it’s something I have been working hard on over the last few years; recognizing that stupid things are not worth lying about just to save face. But even so, it is thrown in my face CONSTANTLY in my marriage.

And my concern comes down to this. If you can’t trust me with the dumb shit, how can you trust me with the big shit. And furthermore, if you can’t trust me with the dumb shit, why are you with me?

I get that you love me. I get that the sex is great. And that’s true.

But if you CHOOSE to not trust me over the dumbest shit, AND fight me on it, then why the fuck stay with me?

But this gets even better.

When I am upset and offended by you not trusting me it’s “stupid and not worth getting upset over”. But when I say that I don’t trust you with my emotions and honest, it’s a huge ass deal that YOU get to be offended by because how dare I.

And honestly, isn’t that the bigger issue; the overarching issue that will be the breaking point? That at the end of the day, my opinions and feelings are consistently invalidated in almost every altercation.

I tried to ignore it. All day. And yet, I can’t put away the thought that when it really comes down to it, I don’t matter. My opinions/feelings will always come second if it offends or inconveniences you. As you’ve said once before, my feelings should not come at your expense. And honestly, hasn’t that been the theme of our last 2.5 years?

And that’s the problem.

You ask questions you already know and don’t actually want the answers to. Because you don’t like being the bad guy. Because you’ve built this image in your head about who you are. And you’ve told yourself this narrative about how you are constantly the victim being looked passed or set aside for people you consider to be less than you. You have built this idea in your head that you are better than other men because you fancy yourself a liberal feminist; even though you would never actually call yourself that because, connotation is everything.

You once asked me what S had done to me to cause me to change myself so drastically. How could someone so strong and independent and brash become so small and voiceless and manipulated. And you tie it up to the sex or his “silver tongue”.

But here’s the truth: he did the same thing then that you’re doing now.

Day by day, month by month, year by year he broke me down. Slowly, behind words said and the actions and words that were dismissed. He brought me down with every argument; making me feel as though it was always my fault. That I had caused it by something I did or said, something I didn’t do or say, or from just “overreacting” to something he deemed ridiculous.

Yeah, he told me he loved me. And yeah, he made sure I knew he thought I was hot. But just like with us, that’s not enough.

I need to know that I am valued. That my opinions matter. That my feelings matter. That you care about how I see things. That you pay attention to my past and my trauma. That it actually mattered. That you actually took it seriously.

But here is why I don’t trust you. Because I don’t.

Because I’m not valued. My opinions don’t matter. My feelings don’t matter. You don’t care about how I see things. You don’t pay attention to my past and my trauma. To you, it doesn’t matter. You don’t take it seriously.

And that’s broken me. Possibly beyond repair. Definitely beyond the point of caring. And I hate that.

I wish I felt bad, but I don’t. I wish it bothered me, kept me up at night, but it doesn’t; at least not for the reasons it should.

So now here I sit. Trying not to cry with 30 students in my room. Raging at you through a computer screen; on a post you will never see. My heart and emotions poured out on the page. And honestly, I’m left empty.

And what’s even worse, I know that I’m not going to do anything about it. Not right now and not any time soon; unless my hand is forced. So I have become one of those people I hate. The people who complain about their problems and do nothing to change it.

So here I sit.

#life sucks #marriage #trust

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catgirlcae · 3 months

Text

Rewrite of the beginning of Sadie's story

Soooo Abit late, since i said i'd have this out by the weekend but I hope it's more enjoyable this time.

“Captain!!” Maccus' voice called over the loudspeaker inside the large dome of a cockpit, I turn to the left, my body suspended in the air in the center of the cockpit, the machine follows suit with my movement, and I see it, it’s long dark body shooting up from the rubble, pouncing at me, I quickly reach out and grab ahold of it, restraining it in place before responding.

“Solid call, Mac. Thanks for the help!” I look out from the viewport, watching with a sense of found respect for the monster as it thrashes and claws in an attempt to free itself from my grasp. Its massive jaws bite down into the metal plating, some of its teeth shattering on impact, whilst others find their mark and dig into the metal. Its claws scraping across the plates to no avail.

“Congratulations Limaccia, you put up a damn good fight,” a smile grows across my face as I speak, looking out upon this creature I remember the day I first saw one.

It wasn’t far from this very spot, a few blocks over where my childhood home once stood. I remember watching it barrel down the street, consuming everyone and everything. I used to shudder just thinking about it, but now not even the memory of watching my father’s head roll past my feet as I ran phases me.

Amy calls over the loudspeaker, her tone, laced with annoyance, snaps me out of my thoughts “Are you serious, Captain? After everything that creature did? You’re congratulating it?”

I laugh softly and take a deep breath. She wasn’t wrong. A few months ago, ashes forbid, a decade and a half ago when this war first began, I’d never have thought for a second about saying anything nice to these creatures. Now though, finally holding one in my hands with the others trapped here with us my thoughts have changed. I have to admit that some good came from them.

“Yeah Amy, I guess I’ve grown a sense of honor for these creatures. Think of the amount of damage they caused. They completely changed the way our world turns. They brought us all together and changed the way we use this world’s power. Sure the races have always got along, but before this think about how much prejudice there was. These guys brought us all together to fight them. And in the last moments of this war, I think I’m allowed to give these creatures the recognition they’ve earned.”

“Don’t go getting sentimental on us now, Captain!” Amy, joined by Maccus, René and Askel call out, only to be immediately followed by all four voices yelling “Nyx! You owe me a drink”

Before I can respond, Yara, the oldest and flirtiest member of our squad jumps into the conversation, “Shh dearies, this isn’t the time for your childish bickering and jokes. we’re not making it out of here and you all know it. Also captain, you can’t congratulate that creature and call it a slur in the same sentence.”

As Yara speaks, the cold feeling of the thick gold collar around my neck becomes more pronounced in my mind and my thoughts drift back to my first date with Yara, back when we were all getting close, It was a night out at a Tavern for the entire squad, That night Yara and I got to talking between ourselves whilst the others were drinking and joking, it turned out that Yara and I had a lot in common, she offered to pay my drinks and of course I accepted, and things quickly devolved, Within an hour I found myself sitting in Yara’s lap at the bar, wearing a traditional boys’ outfit from her home country, an outfit consisting of tiny shorts, disconnected sleeves and a bra made with thin, semi transparent red fabric loosely bound to gold rings. Something designed for a hot desert environment. It was embarrassing to wear at the time. But Yara and I have been together ever since, and the golden collar that I’ve continued to wear to this day came from that outfit.

My face goes bright red just thinking about it and I snap back to reality just as Amy, René, Maccus, and Aksel’s voices drift into silence with murmurs and apologies just in time to actually say something. “Yeah, you’re probably right Yara, wasn’t my best word choice, but you’ve got the point all wrong” I take a deep breath and clear my throat, the machine leaning forward with my movement,

“First of all, stop calling me captain, this is it and you all can call me a sentimental idiot, but we’re at the end of the road, and we’re not making it home. So let's go out as friends. That's an order.”

Izel and Soren’s voices come over the radio, adding to the conversation,

“Well then Red, If this is the end, I have to say, thank you for accepting me here” Soren adds, sounding as though he’s about to break into tears.

“Soren’s right, y’know. Everyone here has completely different origins, none of us knew eachother before, and we could’ve just torn eachother apart, but instead here we are, fast family, and family to the end.” Izel says with a sense of content resignation.

Saskia’s laughter joins into the chatter, overshadowing everyone’s words, “Izzy, Soren, are those seriously what you want your last words to be? Seriously, why would we have ever hated eachother, our last moments should be fun, a commemoration not a somber funeral.”

I laugh and tighten my grip on the creature, listening silently for a moment as the others continue their banter, I think back to how we all met, all of us being called in from around the world to pilot first of their kind machines, I remember the varied reactions from all twenty of us upon seeing the worlds’ first war machines, It was practically unbelievable, automata-like machines towering over us larger than any building we’d ever seen, and we were going to pilot them. We became fast friends, and over the years of this war we’ve gotten so close with one another, I’m happy that we get to be the ones to end it too.

My thoughts are interrupted as the voices of our resident technicians, Ivo and Elio come over the loudspeaker with the same announcement “Ladies and gents, time’s up and systems are charged”

I grimace for a moment as I come to terms one last time before I speak. “It’s been an honor. To know all of you, to fight beside you, to live beside you, I’ll miss you all. I'm sorry that our story will end this way, and I’m sorry you won’t be seeing your families again.”

My statement is returned only by silence, and I look down, understanding that they all have their own feelings about this, and accepting the fact that I can’t force them to say anything more to me, even though it hurts to not have a proper goodbye.

“Well then, it’s time…” I say in a much more resigned tone as tears well up in my eyes “Raise the barrier”

I clench my fists tightly against the creature in my grasp, watching in the far distance as a wall of bright yellow rises from the machines at the edges of the city, forming an inescapable dome around us. I sigh and crack a small smile as a single tear falls from my face “It's been an honor everyone”

I give a bow like an actor at the end of a live performance and reach out to the console in front of me, pressing a singular button. A deafening whirr and roar of machinery fills my ears as the room around me begins to glow, I can see everything down through the air gaps, every cog and wire that makes this titan move as a white light fills the room, meanwhile I watch as more creatures surface from the ocean of rubble and pounce onto me, causing the machine to shudder and shake until finally the light grows blinding and I take a deep breath, then everything goes black.

Sadie shot up in her chair, awoken from her dream by the loud snap of a ruler slamming against her desk. She looked up to see her theoretical history professor, Ms. Miraya,

“You had better pay attention, young lady, this is important.” She glared at her as she readjusted her skirt.

Sadie nodded, brushing off Ms. Miraya’s comment as she strutted back to the front of the classroom. Sadie held back laughter as the sight reminded her of the dominatrixes from the pornos her friends watched.

With that thought now forever ingrained in her mind, Sadie looked out the large windows next to her and unpaused the music player on her neural implant as her professor began to ramble again.

As usual, she rambled on and on about the ‘true history’ of the world, a conspiracy many of the old-timers believed in, that 1600 or so years ago (she didn’t care enough to remember the exact details), other sentient life, magical creatures, and monsters, once shared our world with us.

Their only evidence was what sat right outside the window. A giant lake, or more accurately a giant crater filled with water, sitting 230 kilometers across, bordering her university. At its center stood a machine, it looked something like the giant mechs in her video games, but this one stood so tall you could see its details from her seat.

Sadie laughed to herself at the thought, the idea that a giant city of myth once stood where the crater does now, the idea that it was destroyed in some ancient battle or that there were more of those machines, even the idea of that massive chunk of metal moving was unimaginable.

Yet doubt still crept into Sadies mind as she looked at the machine, slumped over yet still standing in the center of the crater, untouched by human hands for nearly two millennia. Her mind drifted to an idea she had had many times before, to travel to the center of the crater and find out the truth for herself. As with every time before, however, Sadie had to push this idea to the side as a fantasy. The trip just wasn’t possible. The water was toxic to the touch and filled with hostile predators that would tear apart any ship which dared enter; and the crater is a no fly zone, ruling out any chance of getting there by air.

Sadie’s mind wandered from one thought to the next as her music played out through her head.

Finally after what felt like hours, she heard the squeal of the rusted wheels on Ms. Miraya’s chair as she took a seat, signaling the end of class.

Sadie jumped out of her chair, slinging her backpack around her back. Her music pausing itself automatically in response. Sadie's fast movements caused her to knock into her classmates' desks as she sprinted for the door.

#writing #fiction #story #oc #ocs

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