#they do tend to always skew negatively and i love them for it but i also am taking with a grain of salt

[cottageivy]

trying to decide if i should go ahead and read the sun and the star now despite not having read the last two trials of apollo books or to just go ahead

[prettieinpink]

how do I learn to love my appearance? I know it won’t matter if other people think, it matters what I think. So how do I improve my self concept about my appearance?

HOW TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU VIEW YOURSELF (APPEARANCE)

!disclaimer! Please be patient with yourself when learning how to love yourself, and remember that being discouraged and down is all a part of the process. 

UNDERSTAND THE WAY YOU VIEW YOURSELF. Do you tend to view yourself as inferior, or do you think you’re heavily flawed? Write out everything that you think about yourself, anything that comes to mind. 

Then go back and re-read everything. See what is true, or something you have been conditioned to believe and why. Most of the time, our perspective of ourselves is skewed due to many external factors. This activity will help to see which parts of ourselves we see in someone else’s POV. 

TAKE A STEP AWAY FROM THE MIRROR. When you want to improve your perspective of how you look, avoid taking selfies, looking at old photos and prolonged looks in the mirror for maybe a week or fortnight. It’ll help to ground yourself appearance-wise, as you’ll realise that regardless of your attractiveness, it’s possible to live without having to reassure yourself of how attractive you are. 

ACCEPT YOUR FLAWS. You don’t have to embrace them and tell yourself that you love your flaws so much, but just accept the fact that they’re there. It’s okay to dislike parts of ourselves, but we should acknowledge flaws from a place of love, not hatred. 

GIVE YOUR APPEARANCE A BIGGER PURPOSE. Your appearance doesn’t just have to be for aesthetics, it can serve you in different ways. For example, your eyes help you to read your favourite books and your stomach digests all this yummy food. 

Your physical features should not cause you guilt or self-hate, like I said, acknowledge your flaws from a place of love. 

YOUR SOUL IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE FEATURE OF YOU, and no one else can have a soul and mind that is even remotely similar to you. Instead of worrying about how pretty your face or body looks, worry about how pretty your soul is. Are you nourishing it and allowing it to flourish, or is it slowly rotting in your vessel? 

Once your soul starts to flourish, it will reflect on your vessel(body), and you will notice a difference. 

STUDY YOUR MIND. If you can, take a small notebook and pen everywhere or write on your phone as soon as you get a negative thought about your appearance. If that is too difficult, then write a tally about how many times you’ve thought that way. 

At the end of the day, look at your findings and see what may have triggered this thought to occur. Have you always thought this? Was someone else saying something that conditioned you to believe a certain way? Does your current environment encourage this way of thinking? 

RECOGNISE A NEED FOR A RE-BRAND. Sometimes when we feel unsatisfied with the way we look, it could be that this is us internally craving a re-brand into our higher self. 

Maybe you’ve kept the same style for 5 years and you realise it’s not so flattering, or maybe you feel like your style isn’t in alignment with your ideal self. Whatever the reason, ask yourself if a rebrand is a good idea for you. 

Done! This was difficult to write, but I’m proud of the way it turned out. I hope you can take away at least one thing and take care of yourself! ♡

[strwberri-milk]

ooo i see! understandable >< then, can we get diluc and kaeya dealing with a s/o who has cuteness aggression :3 like they come around and playfully bite on their cheek, ear, hand, any skin accessible lol or like when reader tenderly cups their cheeks in their hands before pinching them affectionately hehehkcjsjcjjs

Diluc doesn't expect to get bit during one of his work meetings but here he is. You didn't notice that he was talking casually with one of his suppliers, thinking it was just one of the staff before sneaking up to lightly bite his shoulder. He doesn't scold you, but instead just gives you a good-natured smile.

He's never really sure what to do whenever you try to hit him thanks to your cuteness aggression, one day asking you what crimes he's done to deserve such strange treatment. When you tell him his crime is being too adorable he can't comprehend what you're getting at - he doesn't exactly get called cute all too often after all.

Pinching his cheeks is something he doesn't allow too often. It makes his face too red with how pale he already is, further making him turn darker with how embarrassed he is. To make up for it, he does allow you to bite him a little more. If he ever takes off his coat his shoulder is littered with little blemishes from you just messing with him when you get a little too hyperactive.

He has also taken to covering up a little more if he's extra sore from his extra shifts as Batman. This way you can't get at him too much if he's too tired, not wanting to exacerbate his issues more by letting you at him. You never take it personally and he's never wanting you to take it personally - he's just trying to avoid making his issues worse.

He doesn't mind your cute aggression too much. It is a very...intriguing way to know that you love him and because it is your way of showing affection, he can't help but love it as a part of you.

Kaeya loves your cuteness aggression. He can't help but feel insecure sometimes about where he stands with you and that's never because of the way you treat him, but mainly just because of the way he sees the world and relationships around him. He's never too sure when something might disappear, leading him to tend to skew negatively.

Whenever you bite or pinch him he'll give you a dramatic whine or cry. He always makes it sound like you just killed him, sometimes even flopping over with a dramatic gasp that's meant to imitate a death rattle before sticking his tongue out comically. It never fails to make you laugh, so Kaeya does it a little more often than necessary.

Thanks to how often you do it to him, Kaeya's developed the habit of doing it back to you. When you're resting he likes to sneak up on you before grabbing and biting the back of your neck, or gnawing on your cheek playfully. You can't get mad at him since he's just giving you the same treatment you give him.

Sometimes this leaves the two of you just chasing each other around the house and fucking with each other. Sure you two end up with some extra scrapes and bruises that aren't from biting each other, but you both have so much fun it doesn't really matter.

He also definitely accidentally comes close to suffocating you in your sleep. His cute aggression tends to manifest in squeezing the living daylights out of you. You know he won't do anything to you and you kind of like being held that close to him at night, but you like to tease him the morning. He's always a little embarrassed about how tightly he holds you, knowing you don't mind but he sometimes wishes he didn't seem as desperate for your touch as he actually is. He's got a reputation to uphold as aloof and cool after all.

[thrawns-backrest]

I've never heard anyone talk about this theory on tumblr, but I was curious to ask you. What do you think about Ronan becoming a Grysks spy? I saw such an idea in one fanfic, but there they made Ronan just an ambitious and stupid villain. But I thought about and decided that given its canonical nature, such a development of events also seems to be probable to some extent. It seemed to me so, because look: Ronan in Ascendancy is even more vulnerable than Eli, who managed to build good relations with at least Vah'nya and Ar'alani, he obviously needs a lot of time to somehow get along with at least a brother-in-misfortune, and already especially with someone else. In essence, he is alone, and his character also repels the Chiss from him, which leads to their distrust and unwillingness to explain anything to him. A person who communicates little with anyone and understands little is easy to take advantage of, besides, attachment to some things or people is something that the Grysk are only too good at pressuring, with intimidation or cunning. And Ronan is attachmented to Krennic, to the Empire, to the Death Star, so in theory they have something to hit. In addition, if he is faithful to someone, then he is faithful, as we see, almost to the end. And if someone else could become for him a figure like Krennic to whom he "swears" - this person could push him into many things.

If anything, I'm not saying that this is a full-fledged theory and it will be so in the canon. These are just my thoughts on one of hundreds of possible scenarios. I was wondering how likely you think this is?

Oooh... honestly, as much as I love Ronan, I think that's very likely. I think it's even likelier when you consider Thrawn's suggestion to Ar'alani about feeding Ronan the right kind of information because they know he's a potential traitor.

Looking at the book, it's hard to tell if they mean that in the sense of feeding the Empire information through him or using him to misled the Grysks but both scenarios are kind of sad because neither assumes an eventual assimilation into the Ascendancy (which I'm trying to fix in my fic lol).

But yes, as you said Ronan is a very likely target for the Grysks. Ar'alani herself points it out and if something isn't done to prevent it, Ronan could easily be converted into a Grysk agent. The moment he realizes Thrawn didn't send him on some secret mission to find Chiss jedi, he'll grow even more distrustful of him. And if his experience in the Ascendancy is as negative as we assume it'll be, there's plenty of dislike there for the Grysks to feed and exploit.

In a way, characters with a lot of zeal and extreme views always have that problem. They're just... unstable. Kind of like Anakin in the prequels, because they feel so strongly about something they're open to manipulation and their loyalties can be exploited with the right kind of nudging.

That said, making Ronan's motivation ambition and depriving him of his intellect is just... dumb. Ronan genuinely believes he's on the side of the greater good, that the Empire is doing good, etc. I can see the Grysks convincing him that the Chiss are the bad guys in the grand scheme of things, maybe that they're planning to betray or attack the Empire and use his loyalty and inflated self-righteousness to pit him against them.

The thing about Ronan, I think, is that he has an eye for detail and is good at noticing things and reading people (e.g. realizing that Vah'nya is force sensitive) but he's not as good at using that information to come to the right conclusions. Sometimes he does and that's when his skills shine but sometimes his takes are just so far off it's funny.

Whether it's because he tends to overthink or because his biases skew his thinking, it's still a flaw and one that could be exploited.

My only hope for Ronan resisting the Grysks' manipulation is that he's already seen what they're capable of. There's this moment in the book where he gets a very strong reaction to seeing the bodies they've left behind ("Ronan nodded silently from his seat at the conference room table, trying very hard not to be sick. [...] He tried to remind himself that these men had been thieves who’d stolen from Stardust and the Empire, and that they deserved punishment. The rationalization didn’t help.")

At the end of the day, Ronan isn't cruel and doesn't have the stomach for cruelty. And that could be the only thing stopping him from trusting the Grysks who don't have a problem openly showing their ruthlessness. But, of course, if he's already in a bad place and vulnerable to manipulation, that might not be enough to save him.

[nearestend]

dee asked if my muse believes in love and if they think they will ever find it for themselves. of course, i have thoughts on this. so here's love (alice's version):

alice raised herself on all sorts of romantic fiction (linklater's before trilogy, shakespearean romances which mostly don't end too well, "lover, you should have come over" by that goddamn jeff buckley she won't stop talking about), as we already know. she's been in love a few times and it tends not to go so well for her. so she has this really complicated and skewed concept of it — yes, it exists and can be a really beautiful thing. no, she does not think it's possible for her, at least not in a way that's healthy.

her experiences with love have almost exclusively been tainted by something negative. falling in love too young with the wrong kind of people who don't have her best interest at heart. falling in love with someone who is genuinely good and kind to her but having so many obstacles due to the lack of privacy and the presence of judgement in her life. she's never really had an example of a healthy or stable relationship to look to for guidance and has this really warped sense of self to begin with. it's cliche to say, but i think most people can agree that it is quite hard to love anyone else when you aren't kind to yourself. if someone tells her that they love her, she will almost always start running through the scenarios of "what happens when you change your mind / when i do something wrong / when something better comes along / when you start to see the things that i don't like about myself". these questions tend to become very overpowering and make it extremely difficult for alice to allow any sort of proximity to her in that regard.

there's a few quotes that often come to mind for me when i think about alice and her relationship to love. "what if it's not meant for me / love", from don't delete the kisses by wolf alice. "i can't love you how you want me to", from bite the hand by boygenius. "i feel crazy in ways i never say / will you still love me if it turns out i'm insane", from we're in love by boygenius.

love tends to be very volatile for alice, very complex and often consuming — not just limited to her romantic relationships, but platonic and familial dynamics as well. she is so preoccupied with fears of abandonment or being forgotten that it clouds her judgement. she craves affection but it also repulsed by it, or rather, repulsed by herself for wanting it. she does not know how to desire anything halfway, she has to let it swallow her or else she won't allow it at all. she doesn't want to ruin someone else by loving them too much, she doesn't want to trap them or keep them tied to her because she assumes that inevitably one day they will change their mind.

and so, to answer the question simply: does she believe in love? yes, very much so. possibly too much. does she think she will ever find it for herself? yes, and she has, but she doesn't think it's meant for her to have. nothing is ever easy with this girl, i'm very sorry to say it.

[the-monkey-ruler]

Going back to that anon that ask about the pain swk went through bc of the fillet

—yea theres r no time ever that this fainting ever happened in the novel nor do the bleeding. Yes it does happen in various other adaptations when the fillet does that but not in the novel.(not in the Anthony c yu verse at least. Idk about the tge other but im less likely to recommend them bc they either miss a fuck ton of jttw thing OR Very icky authors who is sinophobic af)

I think ppl who already tends to have a more negative idea of tang sanzang(bc of OSP iteration n more)tends to make his character far worse than it actually is.

Like w the fillet.(no hate to various adaptations who do the usage of the fillet that make swk faints. Love me that honestly but my gripes is w those who make it that it applies to alll swks and even in the og novel.) even going so far as to make tang sanzang as the abuser to swk. <that could not be more farther than the truth. It is in fact a very skewed power dynamics that make both characters be in the same but different positions of powers depending on the situations>

Im pretty sure he ended up doing it less as much as ppl assume he did pre-LEMH ARC. (Bro did not use the spell day to day basis pls ppl stop using it in argument bc its not even supported in the og txt itself. He called his disciple as good guys yet are ugly af—hes a asshole but not that much of a asshole. Hes so so naive but he trying his best even if he get swung w traumatizing shit every arc back to back. He like a perfect example of how imperfect traumatized person would act.

My gods these pilgrims need sm therapy

He didn't use it for years before the Six Ears Arc and didn't use it years after either.

It always surprises me when people say he used it too much considering that he only used it in frequency in a single day and then did not touch it for literally YEARS cause he really doesn't use it that often in the book.

The only real times he does overdue it is in the White Bone Demon Arc where he uses it multiple times and in the Six Ears Arc as well. Otherwise, there was that one-off with like Sanzang being misplaced with a fake Sanzang and they had to find out who was the real one, I think with the Black Wind Demon on their first adventure solo, and maybe the Lion-Lynx Arc with the dead king. Otherwise, that's about... 30 other arcs. (that is about 5 arcs out of 30~ other demon arcs)

So over the course of 14 years, I really don't think that should be considered 'every day whenever he could' ....cause he really doesn't. Wukong pulls a lot of tricks and schemes that do give him a mischievous air but the point is that the pilgrims had distrust for one another at the start that is question and put them to the test. And it's only when they face that collective battle and do they come out with a deeper understanding, not only of each other but themselves that they gain their merit.

Sanzang says they are ugly yeah (rude) but he always defends that they are good people to humans that are terrified of their looks, always trying to help even if he can't offer much but a helping word and an ear to listen. He always trusts they will save him and even not he has prayed over them because he thought they died and wanted blessings in their next life for being such good people in this one. This is his journey too and I think it's unfair for people to ignore how his character also comes to get closer to the gang. Especially after he found his long-lost family only to imminently lose them again. I mean even at the start he was made fun of for being an orphan and found his parents, but one commits suicide just weeks after meeting him and the other is the same age as him since he came back from the dead unchanged and he can't even rely on as a parent.

He was kinda put through it with that family drama.

It was just one thing after another at the start for him and I think he never had a chance to have a close group of friends to rely on.

And I hate when this idea that Sanzang is a bad person or that is an abuser when there are so many ways that they are similar and both trying to overcome their challenges on this journey while learning how to rely on other people. They mean too much to each other and while it is hard for them to see eye to eye they have that bond of loyalty that was hard won and grew with time. Sanzang is just a mortal man that can be killed with a single blow in charge of three demons and a dragon on their parol. While each one of his disciple (one that more likely than not ate his past lives) have unthinkable magic and power that no mortal can dream of fighting against.

And he is supposed to lead them to enlightenment?

It is so funny it could be sad.

And they still did it.

It was literally them against the world.

And I hate how people are comparing the fillet to a shock collar as well considering its lore with Buddhism. Like it has so much more meaning both culturally and literally but people always want to overlook its real meaning as 'it's a torture device' like... no... it's really not.

No, I agree that pain is not a good answer nor that I condone that behavior but people got to remember that this was written 500~ years ago when training the body was having a similar mindset to training the mind. That doesn't make it right but it was also to show that Sanzang was never meant to be an abusive teacher and that yes while he is wrong on multiple accounts that weren't meant for him to be seen as a bad person, jut a misguided one.

The fillet does have more history to it as well even seen in other Buddhas as a symbol of self-discipline. It was to be a sign of restraint when it comes to bettering oneself and Wukong need to accept that the world doesn't and shouldn't revolve around him. I understand it’s not as common to see in America and but it's far more than just a symbol of pain, it holds a lot more meaning when it comes to personal growth and being able to recognize flaws within yourself to better them.

That's why in the end only Wukong can be the one to take off the fillet. There is no Fillet-Loosening Spell. There never was one. The Fillet is a part of Wukong and only when he has that full control over himself, that he masted his impulsiveness and attained true enlightenment and immorality did the fillet disappear because it wasn't needed anymore. Wukong at first has to overcome his own ego and arrogance to accept that he has a problem in order to overcome that.

I thank that’s why GuanYin also gave Wukong a fillet because she knew Wukong could overcome his anger and take it off she believed in him that much.

It reminds me of that Wizard of Oz with the red shoes scene where the good witch was like "You could have gone home the entire time" and the same way Wukong could have taken the band off at any time if he learned to control himself and his impulsive. The band wasn't there to teach him to learn through pain, but rather that he can go on the journey and go through that personal growth of facing his inner demons and being able to mature as a person.

At least that's how I always saw it.

[sentimental-sensitive]

laundromat

Sometimes I get scared that I am going to lose my lust for life. That my overthinking, anxious brain will destroy the little fire in my heart that holds on so dearly to the little things; will blind the eyes that drink in every small, mundane moment like honey. I have always loved that the details can have a profound impact on my emotions...at least the positive ones. The negatives ones can hold equal space, though they are louder and tend to cut deep.

I am currently listening to this DOMi &JD song in a laundromat, while grinding hard on an research proposal and waiting for my clothes to dry. I am conscious how unglamorous or unremarkable a moment like this would seem to other people. (I know that's where I run into trouble with myself, metaphorically placing myself next to others and making judgements.) But as I am sitting here reflecting, what comes before this natural inclination to compare myself, is this tenderness for the present moment. I am aware of how I love myself for doing this combination of seemingly normal tasks, how cute it is. (Maybe I find productivity and hard work cute?) I like that quality in myself, though my relationship with it is also skewed in comparison to others.

But in this moment of self-love, I also look up to see people just moving about in the quiet of their lives, like me. I love doing this in public spaces. I am reminded so much that life is made up of just doing the laundry, crossing off tasks, getting to the place one needs to go...waiting...doing one's best. I feel a kindred love in feeling we are here trying to move in the ways we can. For a moment, feeling at ease and loving myself and acknowledging others for just being (If only I could sustain that. How can I practice doing that more when I fall prey to the deadlines, tasks, expectations, and anxieties looming over me?)

I want to remember that I felt this calm in just being, for a moment. In Little Women, Jo questions the utility of writing stories of “domestic struggles and joys” because they don't have “any real importance.” This is sometimes how I feel when I look at my life side-by-side against the lives that are so easily accessible on social media. But then I sit in a moment like this, at a laundromat, writing a paper, observing the everyday of others, and I am in love with that. Amy March would say “Writing doesn't confer importance; it reflects it.” That maybe writing about domestic struggles or the thoughts and movements in a laundromat will "make them more important.” There's magic in getting it down in words, I think. Perhaps I should write about these small moments in a profound way more.

[halorocks1214]

one detail that has stuck with me since the beginning of splatoon 3 was the explanation my friend gave me as to WHY mr. grizz was suddenly mr. "nice boss around the block" instead of the raging asshole (affectionate) he was in 2

apparently the translation team had decided to go for a more direct translation, and in the japanese version of the game, mr. grizz is genuinely a much nicer fellow than his american counterpart: but why was that the case? my friend told me why, but i did some research to confirm his findings

in the japanese language, there are two words that play into the country's work culture: "Seizensetsu (性善説)" and "Kenson (謙遜)"

Seizensetsu (性善説): A belief that human nature is good and people are naturally inclined toward virtue. Conversely, the negative elements of society tend to corrupt people. To prevent this from happening, people need to work relentlessly and do their best to maintain their virtue.

Kenson (謙遜): The act of demonstrating your self-sacrifice and accepting your lower status, even when you believe you should be praised highly by others for your achievements. This is something you must never voice or draw attention to. This torture-like modesty is considered a virtue, especially among the elite classes. They are the ones expected to be role models within Japanese society.

to summarize an already overly long post (sorry), the general idea is that bosses worry that if they give their workers praise, it could lead them to become complacent and to do less of a good job at their work, which is why "tougher" bosses are seen as good examples (and to an extent, "nice" bosses are seen as hiding something). another side is that their workers are so used to not getting praise that when they DO get it, they don't know how to respond and it makes everything awkward, so why not avoid it altogether?

so that's why there's such a character shift between 2!grizz and 3!grizz: in 2, the translators worked to make him more of a "bad boss" by american standards while in 3 they figured going for the one-to-one translation would be better. something something "back in my day mr. grizz would tell me to kill myself if i only brought in 100 eggs" something (no personal opinion on this one way or the other, it is what it is etc.)

i'm rambling a bit much here, but i wanted to explain my thought process about this splatfest. my friends and i genuinely picked big man because of the theme, but the second choice was always going to be frye. we all thought shiver would be the worst "leader" because they held grudges easily and tended to be rude and full of themself, just look at how they treated their shark in the story mode!

(i still love them a lot don't get me wrong but yeah, not exactly a shining example of a "good" leader)

going into splatfest though, i thought about mr. grizz. i thought about how a "makes sure to point out all your flaws" characteristic was seen as valuable and respectable in workplaces. i thought about how a few splatfests had already been swayed by the japanese playerbase (it is a japanese-based game, after all) and-

yeah, i thought it would be skewed, but i will admit i was completely shocked at just HOW skewed it ended up being

now, could i be reading too much into this? most likely yeah. this IS a kid's game, and i highly doubt a lot of kids are worried about proper workplace culture, but i got to share cool mr. grizz lore, so i consider this a good post anyway <3

[softmoonlightmelody]

about me

decided i should probably make this

so, hi! you can call me moonlight. i use any and all pronouns. i'm primarily in the keeper and percy jackson fandoms, although i do blog and reblog other content from other fandoms, and i blog and reblog about general queer and transiness stuff.

other blogs: @moonlightswritingandstuff (my writing blog), @moonlightswritinginspoarchive (self-explanatory)

i have an ao3, it's the same name, it's linked in my blog. enjoy.

so here i'm going to go into everything mostly important:

i'm in full support of trans people (i am one, after all) and literally everyone in the lgbtqiap+ community. i am not about to hate someone for arbitrary reasons

i do not support jkr or any terfs, but my general opinion on harry potter and jkr is 'let it die in obscurity. i could not care less' and as thus i generally don't reblog anything about jkr, even negative. i tend to stay away from her in general. point is i do not support anything jkr has done, including her antisemitism, transphobia, and general terribleness. i'm missing a bunch of things because she sucks but oh well. if you like harry potter, that's fine, like what you like, but know that i do not support jkr in the slightest. relating to the hogwarts legacy game, i am of the opinion that it sucks despite never even touching it. jkr can go die in a hole, but i generally want her to die in obscurity. it would be a great day when no one remembers her.

i'm open to most ships, i do not care about what UNLESS they are incest or pedophilia ships. however, i skew favourable to femslash ships, and i do acknowledge characters who don't get in a relationship and aro and a-spec characters. they are cool, and are all my blorbos.

i do not share personal information beyond what is already in this post and perhaps what people can garner from reading closely. please do not ask me about personal information. maybe sometime in the far future i might share more, but for now, i am a private person online. please do not press about this.

no hate! i'd rather not deal with someone who disagrees with my personal interpretation. a lot of them are personal, like drew tanaka, but at the same time i acknowledge they exist. it's okay to disagree with me, and generally my interpretations are made based off of my cultural framing and general knowledge because i enjoy worldbuilding in various themed cultures.

you can always ask my opinion on literally anything, including fandoms i'm not in. i want to see you ask me about obscure things i've never heard of, let me read a summary on wikipedia, and form my opinion solely based off of it. because that's funny.

i like pretty colours and stuff, which is why a few of my posts and my blog has that look to it

i like occasionally going through a fandom-wide fanart tag to look at cool stuff people draw. i love art, my favourite art movement is probably impressionistic.

relating to that, classical music? cool. i like romantic period.

music in general i vibe to. do not care what i listen to as long as it's not like heavy metal. i digress.

i should probably stop rambling

in conclusion, i generally don't engage in a lot of discourse because i don't need to engage in that. i have my opinions, you have yours, let's stay away from each other on that topic.

[lesbian-kyoru]

loved your analysis about arata but about his interactions with taichi i think there time he /is/ being mean or petty on purpose. i dislike a lot when people try to paint him as someone actively evil and trying to make taichi's life hell blabla or when they don't acknowledge taichi does take everything too personally sometimes because of his own insecureness but like... arata can be petty and shady as hell at times with taichi too. they kinda bring this 'bad side' out of eachother but i honestly love this about their dynamic as well. and those feelings doesn't make any of them bad or evil. i just feel frustrated it always have to be one or another.

also it's funny how they have to fight inner demons and jealousy (not necessarily about chihaya) and chihaya is kinda clueless and just vibing (fighting different inner demons)

i feel pretty similarly as someone whose two favorite characters are arata and taichi! most analysis i've come across unfortunately tends to skew heavily against one of the boys, which isn't surprising for a LT manga but is a shame since it usually does a huge disservice to both of their fantastic character arcs. in my experience, especially in the past few years, i see way more like. willful misinterpretation of arata's character than taichi's which is why i spend less time defending taichi—i do dearly love both characters and their relationship for all the messiness that both of them bring to it lmao.

i definitely agree that arata has his petty moments which i do love, because frankly he is so funny when he's mean kdfj;lahdf. it's so against his kindhearted nature (which isn't so different from taichi!) and causes him a lot of turmoil, which really adds greater complexity to his character, especially to his relationship with taichi. as an aside, i think an interesting contrast between them is imo taichi is much more consistently self-aware of his negative feelings toward arata than vice versa, which is why taichi spends so much time agonizing over it—as opposed to arata only realizing it in key moments, like yoshino and the challenger matches, and THEN beating himself up over it because it suddenly creeps into his overwhelming fond feelings about taichi as a friend (which clashes with his slow recognition of taichi as a rival, but that's another discussion).

with my prior post i was mostly trying to highlight that, while arata has moments of lashing out or being mean to taichi (+ my exploration of how a lot of those moments stem from trauma and his insecurities, like taichi—basically an argument that arata like everyone else is shaped by his experiences and has reasons that he's cold, unfriendly, mean), there are other moments where i genuinely don't think he has petty intentions. like, the "chihaya doesn't belong to anyone" moment? definitely petty. but when he tells taichi "i thought you already would be in class A by now" and then tells him to give chihaya his phone number? to me that scene genuinely reads as arata being super socially awkward and not realizing that he's hitting all of taichi's insecurities within the span of 30 seconds l;adkhf;alsdkhfh;a. and to me that's an interesting distinction and super compelling because of how it impacts taichi without necessarily being intentional, an example of how the true mutual affection between arata and taichi is constantly frayed by their individual baggage. and it's gonna come down to reader interpretation, but i do notice that 99% of the time arata's intentions are taken with the most negative possible reading possible, so it was my hope to add another reading of his actions that, as you said, is not assuming he's just actively evil lol. also, a lot of why i read those scenes as not always actively malicious is due to how warmly he does act toward taichi in surrounding scenes (the blushing, the smiling when he sees him, wanting to see taichi as much as chihaya, the awkward "you're supposed to high-five, right?" and other socially awkward behaviors etc etc).

tl;dr you're not wrong that they bring out the worst in each other, or rather i think they bring out a very real, raw version of the other and see each other for what they are—and being able to fully appreciate their relationship requires an ability to view both of their characters without idealization, both of them having flaws and moments where they act badly to each other. it's clear that despite all their issues and how they mutually embody each other's worst insecurities, they very deeply love and care about each other, even if that bond is complicated. love them forever

[toothlesshat]

So I have been reading/looking at/watching/etc. a lot of TMNT stuff; I know, what a surprise, and something I notice, even in stuff I actually like, by creators I actually like, is that they seem to think 2012 Leo had like, I don't know, a relationship with Splinter where he wouldn't how the brothers feel in how they were both positively and negatively by Splinter (esp. the latter), and I am like, just confused by that. Like, Leo is one of the most affected by 2012 Splinter, for both better and worse (which, you know from ur posts/fics/answers to my and other people's asks already, but yeah).

I love 2012 Splinter, and he was just trying his best, and his sons turned out great/to be good boys really, but like, idk, I just found it odd that some people seem to take like, the very, very, very surface level of 2012 Leo and Splinter's relationship and characters even when it comes to this (and sometimes just kind of in general).

Anyways yeah, I just found this odd. Like I said, it even happens in stuff I do actually love a lot, and in those things, it is more like me just finding it a bit odd if anything most of the time, but it is still me still loving those things overall.

Maybe it/this happens because it is focusing on another character mainly and/or another character and Leo, and such, the POV is more skewed and/or their biases and/or etc. from the characters themselves? I could see that.

What do you think? Do you think? Why do you think this happens sometimes? (because obviously, it doesn't happen all of the time, or even most of the time. It is just something that happens sometimes and/or enough that I do find it somewhat odd).

P.S.: Also, how u been doing? :)

I’m good thank you!! Sorry if you guys have noticed I’ve been a little more distant from tmnt, I’m just taking some time to indulge in other media, but I’m still a big tmnt fan as always and I’m always down to talk about them >:) trust me, the brain rot will be back, but other than that, I’m doing well! I hope you are too!

As for the 2012 Splinter and Leo thing, god yeah?? I honestly think it comes from this idea that neglectful parenting is worse than overbearing/over-critical parenting, of which Splinter can do both (IT’S NOT THAT DEEP THO like this is a kids show I’m not saying it has super serious themes of abusive parenting, I’m just trying to figure out why this happens lmao). And maybe it’s also because Leo rarely shows that he understands what Splinter’s parenting does to his brothers, but in turn, they also don’t show that they understand Leo either.

I think there’s also this idea that even the show tries to push that since Leo has Splinter’s full attention, he’s better off than the rest of his brothers, but that couldn’t be further from the truth given how Leo behaves (HE’S TOO SELF SACRIFICIAL MY GOD). But, I ultimately think it’s a matter of which character is your favorite lmao. Like Leo is my favorite so I’m the most compassionate to him, and I know that I tend to look at the other characters with a very surface level take since I’m not as passionate about them, but I try to take into consideration every character’s struggle when I write them yk? Not everyone has to do that though lol I just think that’s probably why people write characters a certain way, especially Leo

[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

In his recent live, Jin talks about the delay in their enlistment due to various reasons and thereby the hate comments they have been receiving. The comments online around this are so ridiculous -

1. BTS sacrificed for the Army and endured hate comments - BTS is my favourite band and I love them to bits but nothing they do is purely only for love. Everything, and I repeat, every single thing they do has a commercial angle to it. Nothing was a sacrifice. It was purely an analysis of what will get them through the enlistment period with least financial impact to them and the company. While no one deserves the hate they get, I wish the fandom would stop painting them as saints and treat them as the extremely talented musicians yet human that they are!!

2. BH forced them to delay - As on date BTS is a far bigger brand than BH. Just the word 'hiatus' had wiped out 30 % of their market cap overnight. While BTS has a little skin in the game, BH will be at a much bigger loss, were they to separate from BTS as on date. That is why there has been repeated messaging from everyone about this not being their last concert and they have years to come. BTS certainly has the upper hand in negotiation. Any company across the world would be open to sign them individually or as a group given the cash machines they are!! No way BH can force anything they do not absolutely want to do against their will.

3. Free 'xyz' from BH - Again these guys have no clue how the real world works. BTS are not kids needing protection, they are all well functioning fairly smart adults. They also have access to the best legal and financial advisory money can buy. They can protect themselves much better than any social media warrior can protect them.

As much as I hate Corden I don't think he was wrong when he said most of the fans were teenagers ( at least by the maturity level they seem to be )

The more we start treating them as humans and adults the freer they will be. As of now the critics alternate between trying fight wars that BTS themselves have no interest in fighting or hating them for the smallest deviations from prescribed behaviour.

While this is true for most of K-media it is more so for BTS given they are under microscopic lens.

Sorry about long rant post! Unfortunately went on Quora out of boredom today. This is the result 😌

We all occasionally need to rant it's therapeutic!

Just to add / comment on you some of your thoughts...

Regarding ARMY being teens (or at least mentally so), I think you have to understand most ARMY don't comment negatively, most tend to stay positive and be proactively supportive.

Twitter ARMY is a whole different beast to Mainstream ARMY, they are the ones quick to draw conclusions, will fight with each other over their stan/ship, there are always some who are just constantly negative. I think Twitter hold a lot fo the blame for how the wider K-Pop and likes of Corden perceive ARMY, and because Twitter tends to skew young, it's easy to equate ARMY as being young.

I do agree about how we see them and treat them is gonna have to change, and with military enlistment there is a good possibility that, that could happen. It will weed out the wheat from the chaff in ARMY and hopefu people will become more mature and enough to let them be themselves.

I hope it comes quickly.

[luveline]

jadie (may i call u that ?) i was wondering how u deal with hate on ur page. does it ever get rlly hard to the point where u think about quitting or something? ive been going through some hate of my own and although im still a small acct and the love outweighs the hate, its still super hurtful and i just wanna know how someone with a following as big as urs would handle it ! thanks so much

you can call me whatever you like!! how I deal with it..

I think it's important to acknowledge that I have a 'bigger' account or a bigger following because if you tallied up the hate to the kindness I'm shown, there's always going to be more love. And I feel like I can stick up for myself more often because I know I've made friends here and have followers that will support me!! So I would definitely say those things are a privilege that I have to help me

That being said, I've definitely noticed a tenfold increase in hate as I gain followers and i think thats natural, it makes sense that the more people that are exposed to me and my writing, the more I will see people who dont like me or my writing. Sometimes I handle it by crying my eyes out, and sometimes I just feel really sick all day. Lots of the time, hate pretty much saps me completely and I find that I don't want to write anymore because you do start to internalise that and feel negatively about yourself. It's always worse when they kind of find the thing you're sensitive about and prod at it.

And hate feels to me like it is in two categories, actual stuff with value and then the troll/bait kind of stuff. Most of the mean anons I receive I block straight away so they can't send anything again. Sometimes I post it because I want my own say, like when I don't agree with the way someone's speaking to me.

Sometimes you get silly cruel ones, and sometimes you see hate and think like??? What does this have to do with me? Fanfic and writing in general can be so skewed toward personal preference because why wouldn't I write what I want to write? This is my hobby and its for fun, and so when you get those "this was awkward' "this was poorly written" "why did insert character do this" I can disregard that pretty easily cos its a comment based on their own perception and preference. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you don't want to!

I recently saw someone get a hate anon that said like "you need to use more full stops, I need to take a breath" and it made me laugh because there are literally millions and millions of books and billions of words of fanfic online and that person has seemingly never encountered a run on sentence before? I think you just have to keep in mind that your circle of experience in life is different to other people's , and there will be overlap but often the majority won't, like a Venn diagram. What I'm trying to say is I tend to not take that stuff too personally (though it's still hate, and still annoying!) because that person probably just hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them yet!

Hate sucks! We aren't goodreads authors, we aren't offering our work up for a five star rating and asking people to pick it apart, and it's always gonna be gutting when people don't like what we have to offer. But I just try to take it on the chin because rejection is a constant in life, and if you don't wrestle with it I'd imagine I'll turn into a bitter bitch. 😅

tldr: I let myself be upset by it! I give myself space to feel sad but ultimately I reason that you can't please everyone, and you shouldn't want to! Do what makes you happy and the right people will find you and love you for it !!

[lamedemoniaque]

Weed update:

Weed is great but the after affects and the waves of dread and despair hit me so hard in the morning. Waking up is supposed to be a rebirth; a new day is upon us and I choose to be how I was in the past (pessimistic, susceptible to negativity, letting things snowball)

I can’t find solutions to the weird problems I have. Root causes for things help to cope but the gravity of my potential impact on this world is jarring…it makes me dizzy and unable to dream and I dont know what’s right or wrong. Im damaging my brain day by day but as i’ve come into myself recently, I see that I am in fact, quite reasonably human and reasonable humans drink and smoke and fuck and work out and talk to one another; sometimes passionately but most times it is idle in nature. The root cause being that humans do thèse things because they are human, And that’s the only reason we need. It’s not so simple, nor is it so unbelievably complex but it’s oh so frustrating. The only thing I’ve wanted to understand was others and i’ve made amazing strides towards this goal, but in the end, while it’s not a futile effort, it is rather arbitrary and there’s too many dead ends.

My findings are that people, wherever they lie on social standings, will always go out of their way to express their ideals, beliefs and their artistic visions. There’s no true hiding that can be done, but lets be real: body language experts are such horrid cunts and that whole practice is suspect to say the least. That being said, I get called out a lot for stereotyping people, and they are correct to do so but I’ve noticed that people dont usually tend to break social contracts, even arbitrary ones like marriage, friendships and job obligations but they also don’t go against the social conventions of their communities. I believe that community is essential to human life and capitalism and other shit has really skewed this sonic truth about human life. People in certain groups will act a certain way, but that is not a guarantee because guess what? People are complex! We like the mystery of others, so if I make an assumption about someone based on what I know about their culture and their upbringing, that’s just a lead into learning the actual true things about one. People break stereotypes as much if not more than they follow them and I think it’s fascinating truly.

In other news, my love life has continued to be in shambles but I do hope for a change in that whenever the Gods believe that I deserve what I am worthy of. That being said, dating apps are a disgusting trap for those seemingly desperate enough to play a part in the company’s shitty game (me af) and while I just literally typed that out, I don’t really hate dating apps, I just don’t like the way it’s set up. There’s this disgusting aspect to seeing others show themselves off with no substance and the substance is impossible to find because it’s too fucking hard to bridge the gap between the mutual agreement that we live in the same general area and not getting a feel for someone automatically by meeting them in an “organic” matter, but I still dont think it’s bad. I think the thing that bugs me is almost having to pay for the services because dating and being seen by other’s in your dating pool is really fucking hard! Like extremely hard, even if you’re confident and attractive like I like to believe that I am. I dont want to sound anywhere close to a misogynist, but I’ve noticed that through these dating apps, people seem to pigeonhole themselves into seemingly being one-dimensional and that’s concerning because even the people, ugly in their heart, are filled with endless depth that many do not know of, and while the physical aspect isn’t there, it’s still an odd, new thing that we’re still wrapping our heads around. I’m also very concerned about cis-women because I’m not convinced that they like men, but aspects of “masculinity” that are derived from social expectations but that are inhabited by those who I describe as “men-adjacent” (fruits, transwomen/transmen, dudes who know about hello kitty, dudes with a decent to great skincare routine, etc.) and by that I mean that this notion of the definition of masculinity, some machismo enigma of hard labor and bad takes, is 1. Not sought after and 2. Behind the times, maybe even forgotten, and it’s destroying my brain because what the fuck is the point of Irish Spring, Axe bodyspray, Old Spice and beard oil if that’s not what I would presume their dating pool would be, women, want from them at all? It’s still hitting me and it’s not that im even affected by this in any romantic sense (I’m nonbinary and have a devotion to looking as attractive as possible by almost any means) it’s just baffling…

And i know what the variable is that I’m missing! Conservative “people”! That’s not a bad point to make, but even those fools do exactly what I was alluding too. The gun girl cunt bitch lady has the most twinked up gayed out husband and the other shapiro also has a husband that is so against the conventions that they preach and so with that, I will say that the biggest voice for this arbitrary nonsense are not the ones that practice, but the ones who preach…

I’m just very alone romantically and it’s really making my grit my teeth so fucking bad! It’s not a sex thing! I’ve already had sex I dont even care about these primal, carnal urges I just WANT A FUCKING HUG WITH SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME!!! I WILL NOT SURRENDER AND GIVE UP ON CIS WOMEN BUT GODDAMN THEY ARE RETARDS!!!

[malinelle]

the thing with the breakdancing dad thing is like . for clarify i am in almost the same situation as ppl think shes in i was raised by my mom who was financially neglecting me and cutting my dad off from me when he wanted to see me and she was taking the child support money he was paying her to spend on herself i am the person who is the most in a position to sympathize with him but like i just dont. bec okay

that wasnt that many videos and the fact that its all holidays and special events isnt at all contradictory with 'he was there for some big events but he wasnt There in our lives', and the fact that this is also just like how home videos tend to work makes them really not convincing "evidence" of a happy childhood. like were u expecting to see videos of her saying she fucking hates her dad and hes never there for her To The Camera. when i was with my moms side of the family obviously you smile for pictures and act cute in front of the camera bc they get mad at you if you dont! also hes REALLY invading their privacy by posting videos that arent even of her and are instead of his other kids who literally have nothing to do with this. ALSO childhood evidence is always going to be skewed in the parent's favor bc the kid straight up isnt old enough to rly be able to advocate for themselves. notice how the videos switch to photos as she gets older meaning we have no idea how they interacted when they talked and the one text message she shows is them interacting rly awkwardly like two distant acquaintances

man fuck this dude for calling it "brainwashing". like Again it literally happened to me my mom was lying to me to steal money that was meant for us but he could just. say that. the concrete thing she did wrong. instead of being like It Was The Genders.

theres no proof that he paid anything. he said millions but like he just said that. people can lie. very silly and quirky that he has video evidence of his 10 yr old kid talking about youtube as definitive proof he was a loving father but he cant figure out how to censor one of the bajillion emails they send you when you pay medical bills. tbc i dont rly think he shouldve posted either bc again sensitive information but if youre gonna doxx your kids at least do it in a way that looks less like youre trying to use unreliable footage to make an emotional appeal over the Factual Innacuracies. same thing with screenshots of all the insane bitchy things your daughter and wife are totally saying

the most damning thing: dude you have your daughters phone number. if you really had a good relationship and she was exaggerating to make a story funnier you wouldve messaged her like "??? we made lasagna together last week why didnt you tell me i abandoned you at your mothers doorstep" and she wouldve been like "im sorry father i sold you out for views" and then she wouldve made a video breaking keyfabe. personally i dont believe women are insane gender-brainwashed lunatics so i figure she had her reasons

he stresses their politics differ a lot so my actual projection is that i figure madi as a kid was fine with her dad only showing up for holidays and not really being around and wasnt really thinking about money stuff but then as she grew up she started re-examining their relationship and drifted away from him as he became a sexist bitcoin breakdancer and so eventually she had a negative enough view of him to make a pretty uncharitable video bc if you and your dad had a huge argument over him being a sexist bitcoin breakdancer and then you saw a tiktok challenge about funny trauma you might very well think "oh man. the fact that my dad divorced my mom and then started a breakdancing career is funny as hell. im going to flatten this fairly complicated family history to fit into a tiktok" and then when her dad who she doesnt like anymore made a public response she doubled down bc fuck that guy he hates women. its not like shes sending hitmen to his front door she made a mean tiktok. ppl are acting like this has destroyed his reputation but im gonna go out on a limb and say that the ppl making fun of him for being a deadbeat dad are probably not ppl who otherwise wouldve been fans of a sexist bitcoin breakdancer. i think his core audience was never gonna be shattered by this which i am more sure of bc even before he posted a reply bitcoin bros were gathering around him like protective mother birds. if he didnt want his daughter to disrespect him and re-examine his treatment of her as an adult with a more critical eye, personally i would suggest he be nicer to his daughter and not call her brainwashed or talk about how its all genders fault. i think that would really help convince her to have a more positive view of him

[voxvepres]

Schizophrenia and Witchcraft

Authors Note: I am not a mental health professional. I cannot diagnose or tell you if you have schizophrenia. I also want to make it clear that these can vary in intensity and presence from person to person. So if something I say here does not align with another’s experience, it does not make either less valid. This is solely my personal experience.

I will be talking about things I have faced because of this. There are mentions of hallucinations and skewed perceptions of reality.

Table of Contents

I.What is Schizophrenia?

II.How Has it Affected My Path?

III.How I Overcome This

IV.How My Path Has Helped Me

What is Schizophrenia?

Schizophrenia is mainly classified by visual and auditory hallucinations. Not everyone will have both though, these are just usually the main characteristic to have this form of diagnosis. It looks different in everyone because like many mental health-related issues, it’s a spectrum. You can experience different symptoms at different intensities than someone else and both still have Schizophrenia. And I would like to say that not all people are mean or fearful. I’ve had a good few pleasant experiences too.

How Has it Affected My Path?

I mentioned this in my post for the Hocus Pocus OWC, “Quiet and Calm doesn’t make the news.” That rings true here as well. Most of the time when it’s brought up that I am “a schizophrenic” people suddenly look at me in a light of fear. I am no longer how they saw me before, I am suddenly unpredictable, unstable, and my religious beliefs are then pushed harder.

Because clearly, there’s no way I could know what I believe and how I feel because I am something that people have only seen in one light, a negative one. This simply isn’t true, and it’s not even true for the majority of people like me.

This is a long way to say, people often tried to discredit my religion because of how they now saw me. I mean, the “Schizophrenic who works with Demons” could be a horror movie (if it’s not already) with the way people look at me. So it has caused a lot of internal turmoil. I often doubt myself, and my relationship with my deities. Often wonder if it’s also in my head. And while many of us get this feeling of doubt and what-ifs, for me it tends to cause spiraling. Getting sucked deeper and deeper into the chaos and losing the grips on reality I have.

This is just the mental health side of things. Spiritually, it’s a very similar feeling. I would say the main difference is I don’t feel “secure” when I interact with my deities. While some people can “hear” their deities-even if I can I will never be able to trust it. I will always wonder if it’s them, or just another hallucination I should pay no mind to.

Often people can see signs, things that are out of place that they can chalk up to the divine. I don’t have this option either-as even mundane things I see I often brush off if I have no proof of reality. There’s even been a few times I’ve ignored people because I had no confirmation they were there. Let alone divine beings we don’t have physical interactions with as is.

How I Overcome This

While the mundane I can easily get by going to a friend and stating “hey, can you do the thing?” and they’ll help me navigate the world as I see it, and the world that is there, it’s much harder to do with things others can’t see or hear. This is an aspect of my life I am stuck with myself, that I must navigate alone. This is, admittedly, horrifying.

However, having done this for so long, it does get easier. And the best thing I have found for myself has simply been “arranging” how I do things. While I would love to hear my deities, it’s not an option I can trust. So if I think I hear them, I pull out the pendulum. If I believe I’ve seen a sign, I will ask the tarot for clarification. If I think something could be a hallucination or a negative entity or energy I will still cleanse my space, and if it’s still there I know.

I vet myself. I have no shame to admit this either. I am not broken, damaged, or scary. But like most people with mental health, disabilities, and over health difficulties, I need additional support. And when I can’t find that support from others or tools I make my own. When I find I can not trust what I see as reality, I go to things I can trust.

How My Path Has Helped Me

On my journey, I find a lot of comfort in my belief system. I mainly align with the Left-Hand Path. There is a lot of freedom, self-advocacy, and self-liberation. I’ve learned that when I am doing my workings, I feel much more at ease with myself. I can do things for myself. I am able to take off the mask I wear in my day-to-day life. The demons and deities I work with do not look at me differently because of this.

While my path may be a stereotypical horror movie scheme, I know that I am not. I know that I am not seen this way by my deities. I know, logically, I am not what I am made out to be. And if it weren’t for finding this path-I don’t think I would be where I am now. Everyone’s path is different, and everyone faces different difficulties. The important part for me is not only have I found ways to interact with reality I have also found the ability to feel sound in my beliefs despite what others may say or think.

And part of that I owe to communities like this one. Being able to see people from all walks of life, who all face different challenges-all here together with common ground-makes me feel sound in my beliefs because I know it’s not just me. It grounds me in the reality that my beliefs are not inherently wrong because of what I face in my daily life.