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#this ask lowkey broke my heart
toshidou · 2 years
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do you fhink könig likes chubby people like ghost does,,
There is not a single doubt in my mind that König loves chubby people so much. He loves regardless of superficial things such as looks, but even then, he's always been so confused by the notion that fat isn't synonymous with beauty, because to him, there is nothing more gorgeous than a body that has clearly been loved and taken care of.
All König sees is his hot, beautiful, adorable, and sexy partner, and if he can pick you up and feel the way your body moulds to his touch, then that's just a bonus in his eyes. After all, he's not small himself, in any regards, and has been ridiculed in the past for his size. He understands the impact that words have, he can see for himself in the way you shrink under watchful eyes, clenched hands coming to wrap around your stomach. And in those moments, he doesn't hesitate to fix himself behind you, large hands encompassing yours from where they curl protectively over your body, and gently pries them away. His form would hunch over yours, lips hovering next to your reddening ears just to whisper,
"Du bist schön, liebling, everyone here knows it, but only I am lucky enough to call you mine."
König will spend every minute of everyday reminding you that you're nothing short of ethereal, will do anything in his power to be your companion on a long road to self-love, a trail he himself stumbles on every day. But you're always right there with him, your soft whispers of gentle support and crooned compliments act as his guiding light in the pitch black, so you can bet he'll make sure he's your lifeline too, an unwavering pillar of reassurance and love.
Make no mistake, you are the love of König's life. There is not a thing he wouldn't do for you. Not a raging storm he would not sail through just to reach you. You are his be all and end all, and not an ounce or pound on a stupid fucking scale will ever, ever change that.
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amberhippocampus · 2 years
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hey anna, just wondering if you've seen the new lockwood and co netflix series??
I haven’t watched it yet, I need to do more research into if it’s good or not. I tend not to watch adaptations of books if I hear they don’t at least try to do the books justice. That’s why I never watched the Artemis Fowl movie either, because I love those books a lot and wouldn’t want them ruined for me.
If you’ve watched it I would love to hear your opinion!
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twpsyn-who · 2 years
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I kinda want to break up with my boyfriend, but when I started this relationship I told myself I wouldn't be the one to break things again and I would actually fucking try to make things work BUT that's exactly what I have been trying since we started dating and I feel like we really don't work on long term and now he kinda annoyed the shit out of me these last two weeks and I hate myself because my brain wants to use that as an excuse to break up which is unfair to him. Like is not his fault I had a bad day man. That's my fucking personality he just got lucky enough to only see me in a bad mood twice. (I really try my best to stop being so mean and easy to annoy in those moments, but yk how's life).
Is just... we are so similar as a personality which I thought it would be good (cuz yk relating and stuff like that- and would also kinda force us from our comfort zone, both being shy and stuff) but is actually NOT and we have some things in common but actually nothing at all. I think our main talking subject is work cuz we don't know what to talk about anything else. We tried to agree to watch something together and talk about it but... yeah. And I don't think it would have worked, taking in consideration that we watched Thor Love & Thunder together and all we said was that it was ok the movie and moved on. Like I literally tried to ask him if he has any favorite scenes and stuffs like that and gave me nothing to work with. And I had a lot to say about that movie, but idk he makes me feel weird trying to talk about stuffs like that. I hate it. That I don't feel comfortable enough to talk about things I like. And I'm thinking maybe that's the case for him too, yk? And it sucks cuz it kinda forces us on standby.
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hoshigray · 8 months
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𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞 [𝐍𝐎𝐓]!! | a JJK series
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𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: “GO FUCK YOURSELF, SATORU GOJO!” “BETTER THAN FUCKING YOU!” It’s no secret to anyone on this Earth that you and Gojo cannot stand each other. Despite that, the world seems amused to put these two star-crossed lovers haters in the same space. Or worse, have them dwell deeper into their feelings for one another…
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Gojo x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern + college AU - frenemies to lovers + mutual pining - fluff + angst + misunderstandings - first kiss - virginity loss - Gojo and reader are at least age 20 - secret relationships; implied friends-with-benefits - sex in shared rooms; college dorms + hotel suite - college parties - use of party games (seven minutes in heaven) - confessions - mention of drug/alcohol abuse - humor bc Gojo and college, lol - Gojo is a cocky, tactless sweetheart, nothing new - cameos of other characters + explicit content will be listed in their respective fics (within the contents).
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: when I say that I had this series planned out, I mean like mid-October last year planned out, lmaoo!! I'm honestly so psyched to do this series, as it's one of my favorite tropes + relatively short as I'll be busy irl, but we'll do what we can!! i was lowkey feeling this concept when i was re-watching Ranma 1/2 and figured it would work great with Gojo. So, here's to hoping i can properly execute my thoughts with this series, hehehe~
reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ❤︎ gif header made by me + fic dividers used are provided by the wonderful @cafekitsune and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more!!
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𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑰𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒊𝒓...
All the material below contains explicit 18+ content, so minors do not interact.
₊˚⊹♡ 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 (Feb 1st)
The start of the spring semester is supposed to be fresh and new, not be cramped up in a closet with your frenemy at a party! And what's worse: you actually like the feeling of his lips on yours!?
₊˚⊹♡ 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 (Feb 7th)
Is it possible to wish to be in the embrace of someone who makes you want to throw them off a cliff? You seem to think so, and the same goes for Gojo. But alas, good things always come to an end, even when not meant to be...
₊˚⊹♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞 (Feb 14th)
Going on a date with the guy who broke your heart is something you’d never thought would happen – especially on Valentine’s Day! But it’s just for him to be in your good graces again, nothing more…Yeah, go ahead and tell yourself that.
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𝑨 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑳𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖!
Would you like to be tagged when these pieces get released? Lmk in the replies, please, and thank you!
𝑻𝑨𝑮 𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 𝑪𝑳𝑶𝑺𝑬𝑫!!! Have made a list of the first 50 ppl who asked, but don't worry!! Check back for the stories when they're posted on their respective dates!!
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© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 ❤︎ These stories have been written by the original poster (me). Do not steal, edit, copy/plagiarize, or post any of my works on your own accounts, in or out of this app. Please and thank you.
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domjaehyun · 2 months
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the boy is mine (l.dh) — part one
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PAIRING. haechan x fem!reader (also jeno x reader) GENRES. smut, angst WORD COUNT. 19k CONTENTS. infidelity, alcohol & weed consumption (MC is a non-smoker if that matters to you), explicit smut (dirty talk, fingering, finger sucking, oral (receiving), rimming (receiving), groping/frottage, marking, spit play, (brief) ear play, breast play, creampies/unprotected sex (if you explicitly need me, a stranger on the internet, to tell you not to fuck raw, you are not responsible enough to be reading this. move along now), snowballing, public sex, car sex, riding, bratty dom-leaning switch!haechan, bratty sub-leaning switch!reader, sweet dom!jeno, face riding, handjob, overstimulation (receiving), praise kink (receiving), light degradation kink (giving), mating press, morning sex) NOTES. welcome back to meeeeeeee!!! i hope you enjoy this fic because i worked very hard on it!! please leave feedback if you liked it :) i would also greatly appreciate tips if you really liked it :3 THANK YOU LIKE THE HUUUUUGEST THANK YOU TO BRI (@jalitepng) FOR BETA READING THIS BIG OL FIC :D PLAYLIST. the boy is mine - ariana grande // fantasize - ariana grande (unreleased) // lowkey (feat. erykah badu) - teyana taylor // agora hills - doja cat // pussy is mine - miguel // softest touch - khalid // cut - tori kelly // seatbelt - josh levi // often - doja cat // surrender - nbdy
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how can it be you and me? might be meant to be, can’t unsee it but i don’t wanna cause no scene i’m usually so unproblematic, so independent, tell me why ‘cause the boy is mine.
You suppose your fate was sealed from the beginning. 
Even as you’re riding in the passenger seat of Yunjin’s car as she speeds down the freeway, your heart filled with a relief and fulfillment you haven’t had for the past six months, you can’t help but feel like something’s… lacking.
“So, spill,” you hear Seulgi pipe up from the backseat. “How many little British boy hearts did you break on your little Oxford trip?”
“Who says I broke any hearts?!” you exclaim with an incredulous laugh, and everyone in the car turns and gives you the same unimpressed look. “Oh, that was creepy. Did y’all plan that?”
“You were gone for six whole months and you want us to believe you got up to no romantic shenanigans? Hm?” Seulgi asks, narrowing her eyes at you, and you narrow yours right back.
“I didn’t break any hearts!” you defend yourself, and Chaewon sighs.
“Did you stow away a cute British boy in your carry-on?” she asks, and you make a face.
“Certainly not.” 
“Then there’s a broken heart floating around in Oxford as we speak!” Chaewon insists, and you scowl.
“Let me out right here.” you mutter, turning to open the door on the freeway, laughing as the other inhabitants of the car gasp and shriek in alarm. “I’m joking!” 
“You’re crazy, that's what you are.” Yunjin clarifies, and you giggle.
“I was having a laugh.” you say unapologetically. “Anyway, I didn’t really get up to too much in Oxford, really. I was focused on studying, I guess.”
“Oh, lame!” Seulgi boos, and you roll your eyes.
“I’m here now, though, so the hot girl spring and summer can commence!” you say happily, and your friends cheer. 
“Winter just texted asking if we got you off the plane okay,” Chaewon announces, and you shake your head.
“Tell her my seatbelt got stuck and wouldn’t let me out and so they took me back to England.” you suggest, and Yunjin snickers.
“Tell her the pilot got confused and took her to the wrong New York. If she asks what other New York, just be like, ‘the other one?’” she adds on, and Chaewon snorts.
“You’re both terrible.” she laughs as she types in a response.
“What’d you tell her?” Seulgi asks.
“That she got held back for getting her bag searched and they found five kilos of cocaine. So they took her out back and made her snort all of it as punishment and now she’s running amok in the city like Cocaine Bear. She’ll beat us back to the house.” 
“And we’re terrible?!” you exclaim indignantly.
“Well, yes.” Chaewon replies calmly. “Mine is obviously a lie.”
“Wh— My seatbelt getting stuck isn’t an obvious lie?” you splutter. 
“Well, that could actually happen!” she defends, and you blink at her incredulously.
“I didn’t expect the lesbian to forget that scissors exist.”
Chaewon’s jaw drops and she jabs a finger in your direction. “Homophobe!” She turns to Seulgi for support, but Seulgi just shakes her head.
“You’re alone in this one, Chae,” Seulgi giggles. “I laughed, I’m sorry.”
“Man, this is some bullshit.” Chaewon grumbles. “You’re supposed to have my back! We’re… we’re sapphic sistren!”
“You actually did not just say that.” Seulgi marvels. “Sapphic sistren is crazy.”
“I had to pull the gay card to win.” Chaewon says with a shrug. “I’m not sorry.”
“Can we get back on topic, please?” Yunjin laughs incredulously. “Jesus, it’s like if you put squirrels on a podcast.”
“We should make a podcast, actually.” Seulgi suggests, and you nod.
“We could call it ‘That’s Nuts,’” you say excitedly.
Chaewon snorts. “I’m in.”
Yunjin beeps her horn loudly, garnering all of your attention as you all jump in surprise. “We’re outside all spring and summer, right?”
“Well, after work, yeah.” you agree, and she smiles, nodding.
“I don’t want to hear you missed out on a fun fling or opportunity because you were busy working.” Yunjin jabs her finger at you accusingly, and your hands fly up defensively.
“In my defense, doing my job is way less risky than taking chances romantically.”
“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” Yunjin complains. “Live, girl!”  
“There are gonna be cute guys at the party, obviously. So I will live!” you insist, and Yunjin nods.
“That’s more like it.”
Returning to your thoughts for a moment, it dawns on you that romantic excitement is exactly what you’re lacking. You want to love; you want to love someone and be loved by that someone and for that love to be something beautiful and consuming, and you’re not sure how much longer you’re going to have to wait. 
You’re in the middle of making a mental pact with yourself to be just a bit more daring, a tad more forward and bold when it comes to love, when Seulgi and Chaewon laugh loudly at something on one of their phones, snapping you out of your internal monologue, and you shift in your seat, turning to face them.
“I can’t believe you guys left your whole apartment unattended during a house party just to welcome me home,” you sniff dramatically, and Seulgi snorts.
“Anything for you, my friend.” she replies with a playful crinkle of her nose, and you reach out to pinch it lightly.
“Besides, it’s not like it’s completely unattended! Winter’s there.” Chaewon points out, and you raise your eyebrows skeptically.
“Right… what is her non-confrontational ass gonna do if something goes wrong?” you ask, and Seulgi winces.
“Good point. Maybe step on it, Yunjin.” 
“I’m already going twenty over the speed limit!” she exclaims defensively.
“You’re not even exaggerating,” Chaewon half-gasps, half-laughs as she leans forward to look at the speedometer. “We might make it there quicker, but we might not make it there safely.”
“We are here for a good time!” Yunjin yells, whipping her hair around excitedly. “Not a long time!”
“Deeply concerning words coming from our driver.” Seulgi snickers quietly, and you nod, turning back to sit in your seat properly. “So…”
You peer at her through the rearview mirror curiously. “So?”
“I’m just imagining Jeno’s reaction when he sees you again for the first time.” She shrugs with a faint teasing smile, and you can feel your cheeks warming as a small smile starts to tug at your lips.
Jeno’s had a thing for you for the past… year and a half—at least, that you’re aware of—and you won’t lie, he’s definitely easy on the eyes and a sweetheart to top it all off. Before you went away to Oxford, you two had built up a bit of a flirtationship that neither of you tried to push further because of your study abroad trip you had planned.
Now, however, you’re back, and you’re admittedly excited to see if it leads to something worthwhile. 
“He’ll probably do that little crescent-eyed smile he always does when you spare him a crumb of attention.” Chaewon supplies as you’re lost in thought, and you roll your eyes as Yunjin nods knowingly.
“I’m willing to bet he’s gonna try to be glued to your side all night.” she adds, and you sigh loudly and dramatically.
“You guys are really something else, you know that?”
“You love it!” Chaewon says confidently, and you can’t help but smile fondly, nodding in agreement.
“I kinda do.”
Yunjin spares you a sideways glance that lingers for suspiciously long on your frame, and you raise an eyebrow.
“My eyes are up here.” you joke, waving a hand in her line of sight, “and, more importantly, the road is over there.” She chuckles and relents, refocusing her attention on the road, but she has that telltale look on her face that usually means she has something on her mind. “What are you thinking about?”
“Well—not that I’m judging at all, because, you know… live your life, girl.” Yunjin pipes up, and you turn to look at her, curiously awaiting the rest of her thought. “But are you gonna wear that to the party?”
You look down at your comfortable sweats and hoodie, perfect airport attire, and look back up at Yunjin with a playful frown. “What, is this not cute enough?”
“Well…” she trails off, and Seulgi pops her head forward between the front two car seats.
“No! It’s not a good enough outfit! You’re the guest of honor at your own welcome home party, and you have to come harder than some cozy gray sweats with a hole by the ankle.” Seulgi scolds, and you roll your eyes with an amused smile.
“Obviously I’m not going to wear this to the party, girl.” you laugh, and Seulgi sighs in relief. “I was just messing with you.”
“Well, cut it out! You know I’m gullible.” She frowns, and you reach into the backseat to pat her hand comfortingly.
“All the more reason to mess with you, my love.” you reply with a deceptively innocent smile. “Anyway, when we get back home, I have to shower and freshen up and change into my actual outfit. I also have to sort out the presents I brought back for everyone and make sure Jeno’s cake is still in good shape.”
“I still can’t believe you baked him a cake,” Chaewon marvels. “It’s giving domestic. Housewife, even.”
“Martha Stewart found jobless,” Seulgi adds, and you snort.
“I know this is his favorite type of cake, so I just… thought I’d make it for him.” you mumble quietly with a small, dismissive shrug.
“That is very cute to me,” Yunjin says reassuringly before punching the horn roughly and making the rest of the three of you jump in surprise. “Stupid fucker doesn’t know how to use his turn signal?!”
“Yunjin, calm down,” you advise, patting her knee gently.
“I am calm,” she replies, her tone level, and you pull your hand back, still eying her suspiciously. Sure enough, as she drives by the driver that failed to use his turn signal, she rolls her window down and yells out a string of expletives that makes Chaewon gasp in horror.
As Yunjin rolls her window back up and turns the radio up, you sit back and smile, thinking about how happy you are to be back at home.
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You get home an entire eight minutes before your initial ETA, making Yunjin grin proudly when you make the announcement. 
After your friends help you bring your luggage up to your apartment, you go into the bathroom to freshen up. After the extensive process that was showering, brushing your teeth, reapplying your skincare and makeup, and applying lotion and getting dressed, you emerge, fresh-faced and victorious, into your living room where your friends lie sprawled on your couch as they wait for you. The only eyesore about your appearance is the large sack you’re carrying of presents you brought back for your friends.
“I’m ready!” you chirp happily, and Yunjin is the first to look up from her phone at you, eyes taking in your casual and comfortable yet cute attire before she nods appreciatively.
“It’s giving Santa Claus,” Seulgi chuckles, gesturing at your large bag slung over your shoulder.
“Ho, ho, ho,” you drawl with an amused roll of your eyes.  
“Stop it, Seulgi,” Chaewon scolds before focusing her gaze on you. “You look cute! Bet you-know-who’s gonna be all over you.” she says with a teasing grin, and you roll your eyes despite smiling before you set the bag down and set about getting out your gifts for your friends that are present.
You hand Yunjin a wrapped box of gorgeous shoes from an England-exclusive boutique and she sets about unwrapping it, her eyes widening with excitement as she reveals the present inside.
“Holy shit?” she gasps, gaping at the shoes. “These are perfect!”
“They’re so you,” you agree with a proud nod. “I saw them one day through a window while I was walking down the street and had to stop in and get them for you.”
“My turn, my turn!” Chaewon exclaims eagerly, bouncing in place as you root through your large sack and pull out a small wrapped box, which you hand to Chaewon carefully. She squeals in excitement once she’s opened the present, leaping up and engulfing you in a tight hug. “My perfume! I thought they discontinued it!”
“They stopped selling it in the States, but I managed to track down a store that still had some in stock, so I got you a couple—y’know, so you wouldn’t run out.” you say, smiling, and she beams at you.
“You’re the best.” she says seriously, looking you directly in the eyes to drive home her sincerity.
“I try,” you reply with a nonchalant shrug before reaching into the bag once more and pulling out one last present for Seulgi, wiggling the box at her invitingly. 
“For moi?” she asks with feigned surprise, a hand to her chest.
“Indeed,” you confirm with a grin, and she sits forward, taking the gift from your hand and opening it up.
“Oh, my God.” she exhales in shock, staring down at the designer earrings and bracelet set. “These look expensive as fuck.”
“They kinda were,” you admit sheepishly. “All of your gifts were a pretty penny, actually, but you guys definitely deserve them. Those really spoke to me, and I thought they’d look gorgeous on you.”
“Thank you, my love,” Seulgi coos affectionately, standing up to engulf you in a hug. Yunjin and Chaewon join in a brief moment after, the four of you hugging tightly for a lingering, blissful moment.
“You’re all very welcome. Are we ready to go now?” you say, changing the subject with ease even as your voice is muffled into Seulgi’s shoulder, and Seulgi pulls back immediately with an emphatic nod. 
“Ready as ever! Our fridge has snacks that are calling to me from over here.”
“You’re such a drama queen.” you scoff in amusement as you all head to your front door and file out after each other.
“Must have gotten it from hanging out around you.” she replies with playfully narrowed eyes in your direction.
“Oh, really?” you challenge, biting back a laugh, and she nods, puffing out her chest comically as she chest-bumps you on purpose. “Assaulting me in the middle of my apartment complex is actually wild and unheard of, and you will be hearing from my attorney.”
“Bring it on, baby!” she urges, and Yunjin rolls her eyes in poorly concealed amusement as you two start to giggle at your antics, the sounds of mirth ringing out in the lobby as you exit the elevator.
“You two are so strange,” she remarks in wonder. “But later for that. Onto more pressing matters!”
“Such as?” you question, holding the door open for Chaewon to follow behind you into the street. 
“How long will it take us to get from our house to yours?” Yunjin asks, pulling out her phone to search for it, but Chaewon seems to be one step ahead, already focused on her phone screen.
“The travel time from here to our house,” she announces loudly, squinting at her phone momentarily, “is roughly twenty minutes.” You all stand around Yunjin’s car at your respective doors, waiting for Yunjin to unlock the car so you can get in.
“Hm, yeah? Why so long?” Yunjin asks curiously as she moves to look over Chaewon’s shoulder. “Traffic, huh? …I bet I can shave that time down to fifteen minutes.” Her eyes glint with excitement as she presses her car door remote, the sudden and loud beep-beep of the doors unlocking making you and Seulgi flinch for a moment.
“Dear Lord, help us all,” Seulgi mumbles as you all climb into Yunjin’s car, strapping in before she peels out of her parking space and zooms into the night. 
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True to her word, Yunjin precariously shaves six minutes off your travel time and you pull up to Chaewon’s and Seulgi’s apartment earlier than anticipated, exhilarated and pumped full of adrenaline. 
“Are you excited to be back at La Casa Payasa?” Seulgi asks with a smile, and you nod with a relieved sigh.
“It’s just like I remember it.” you hum fondly as you head up to their door and bring your fist to the door, only getting to knock once before the door swings open and Mark throws himself at you for a hug.
You catch him with a surprised laugh, stumbling back from the impact slightly but returning the tight hug nonetheless. He tucks his face into your neck and mumbles something that you can’t hear, prompting you to pull back slightly.
“I didn’t hear a word you said,” you chuckle, and he pulls back as well so you can see his bright smile.
“I missed you so much,” he repeats, and you coo fondly, pulling him back into the hug. 
“I missed you, too!” you chirp warmly, squeezing him in the hug for good measure. When you two pull apart, Chenle’s standing beside Mark and grinning at you. “Hey, Chenle!” 
“Hey, stranger,” he teases, pulling you into a hug of his own. “Long time, huh? Let’s hear that British accent you developed over there.”
“I don’t know what you’re on about,” you reply in your best British impression, and he bursts out laughing.
“Man, that’s good stuff,” he chuckles with a shake of his head. “We missed you over here!” he complains, moving to swat you on the arm. “Don’t leave again.”
“I’ll do my best to stick around.” you assure him, and he smiles and nods, content.
“Now what’s with this big ass bag you’re carrying, huh? Did you stow away some British goodies for us?” Chenle asks curiously, pinching the fabric of the sack over your shoulder. 
“Something like that,” you say slowly before you set it down and reach inside, handing Chenle and Mark their respective gifts. As they open them, Mark being considerably more careful than Chenle, you wait, hands clasped behind your back and rocking back and forth on your heels.
“How the hell did you get a signed Steph Curry jersey?” Chenle questions, baffled and thrilled, and you shrug with a secretive smile.
“I have my ways.”
“Never mind that—how did you get Frank Ocean himself to sign this album?” Mark asks, downright bewildered, and you shrug again.
“Ways that I have… that are mine.”
“You’re so silly, but this is amazing,” Chenle laughs, hugging you. “Thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome,” you lilt sweetly, and Mark looks up from the Frank Ocean vinyl again to meet your inquisitive gaze with wide, awestruck eyes.
“You’re incredible. Genuinely.” he stammers, and you smile widely as he pulls you into a hug as well once Chenle’s released you. 
“I do my best,” you reply happily.
“Wait, also, how was your flight? Anything crazy happen?” Chenle asks curiously, and you pause as you think back.
“Actually, yeah; these two guys got into a verbal argument and then one of ‘em was like, ‘I’ll beat everyone’s ass right now!’ Which, objectively, is a crazy thing to say, but crazier to insist when you’re in a metal contraption thousands of feet in the air.” you start explaining, and Chenle’s eyes widen.
“No way,” he mumbles. “Then what?”
“Then he started threatening the flight crew, and I’m pretty sure he got placed on the no-fly list.” you finish with a solemn nod, and Mark gasps.
“I could never imagine never being able to fly again.” he mutters in awe, and you nod in agreement. 
“I know, right? He had it coming, though.” you say, and they shrug, nodding in agreement.
“I guess so,” Mark agrees before his face lights up as he seems to remember something. “Hey, where’s Jeno? He’s been waiting for you to show up.”
“I think he’s with Winter and Haechan right now,” Chenle answers, and you scrunch your face up in confusion.
“Who’s Haechan?” you ask, baffled, before it dawns on you. “Oh, wait, that’s Winter’s new boyfriend?” you ask, and they nod. “I see… well, can’t wait to meet him, I guess.” You shrug indifferently, now craning your head to look around for Jeno. 
You spot him before he spots you, the male standing alone texting on his phone by the couch. As if he can sense you looking, he looks up and his eyes lock on yours a moment later, his entire face brightening up as he starts to make his way over to where you’re standing.
By the time he’s where you are, you’re both sporting excited yet shy smiles as he opens his arms for a hug and you step into it. His arms drop to your waist and you wrap yours around his middle as he squeezes you gently.
“Hey,” he mumbles into the embrace, a smile audible in his voice.
“Hey, there.” you greet.
“Welcome back.”
“Good to be back,” you reply with a little grin.
“Did you have a good flight?” he asks curiously, and you nod.
“Minus a crazy guy on the plane, but it all ended fine,” you assure him, and he looks momentarily bewildered but manages to rein in his reaction.
“That’s good, I think… what seat did you get?” he questions, leaving you somewhat touched by his thoughtful questions. 
“I got a window seat,” you answer with a smile, and he nods in approval. 
“I love a good window seat,” he hums. “Did you watch a movie or nap or something?”
“I napped for a bit, yeah,” you chuckle, suddenly remembering how you’d had a bit of drool dried on your cheek earlier. Subconsciously wiping at the spot, you smile up at him casually. “I’m still a little tired, though.”
He frowns sympathetically before a little hopeful smile appears on his face. “Well, I hope you’re not too tired, because I wanted to give you something.” 
Your eyes widen. “You got me something?” 
He nods shyly. “I got you something. It’s in my car, though, and I parked kinda far, so I have to go get it. Come find me later when I come back so I can give it to you.”
“You got it,” you say with a smile. “I’ll come find you for sure. I actually have something for you, too, so we can trade.”
“Oh, no way! You’re the best.” He beams, squeezing your waist, at which point you realize you two never let go from the hug. Your cheeks on fire, you withdraw your arms from his middle and he does the same to you with an amused chuckle.
“I’m actually gonna go grab something from the kitchen,” you say, jerking a thumb in the direction of the hallway. “You want anything?”
“Nah, I’m good. I’m gonna run to the bathroom, actually.” he answers, and you nod before you two go your separate ways. You turn back at the sound of your name to see Jeno looking at you with a soft gaze and an even softer smile that makes you feel like you’re a giggly school girl all over again.
“It’s really good to have you back. It really wasn’t the same without you. Seeing all your Instagram stories gave me a crazy sense of FOMO, and our little phone calls here and there really made me miss you even more,” he says sincerely, and you place a hand over your heart, touched.
“I’m really happy to be back,” you assure him. “I missed you.” His brows flick upwards in surprise at your somewhat bold admission, and you blink twice in mild alarm before continuing in a slight rush with, “I—well, like, I missed you, and Yunjin, and Chae—I missed you all, y’know? The story posts were so you wouldn’t forget about little ol’ me. I loved our phone calls, but it’s so much better getting to talk to you in person.”
He laughs lightheartedly and nods, waving you off reassuringly. “I get you. Go get yourself some snacks! We didn’t stock up on your favorites for some random people to eat it all up before you get any.”
“Copy that,” you say with an emphatic nod, saluting him jokingly before heading to the kitchen.
As you’re making your way to the snacks, you catch the eye of a very handsome stranger leaning against the wall in your hallway talking to one of your friends from work. To your surprise, he doesn’t look away from you as you approach, even going so far as to turn his head as you walk by to keep staring at you. 
You’re not sure if you’re more intrigued by him than by the challenge he’s posed, but you keep eye contact until you get to your kitchen and round the corner to find yourself a snack.
Moments after you’ve entered the room, you feel someone enter behind you, a smile coming to your lips as you realize who it most likely is.
When you turn to face the newcomer, he’s standing surprisingly close to you, his eyes scanning your face with an intrigue and intensity that leaves both of you a little breathless. 
“Hi.” the handsome stranger says as his lips curl into a grin. 
“Hi, there,” you echo, smiling back at him. ”Did you follow me in here?”
“Would you believe me if I said it was fate?”
You pretend to think about it. “By the way you watched me walk in here… no.”
He chuckles. “Fair. I had to ask you a question.”
“Luckily for you, I love questions.” you hum, placing both hands on the counter behind you and leaning against it in a silent invitation not only to ask his question, but also to approach.
Thankfully for you, he does both, stepping closer with a small chuckle and asking, “I was wondering if you believe in love at first sight.”
“Oh, brother—” you start to laugh, and he joins you before waving his hands to get you to stop.
“Hear me out!”
“My listening ears are on,” you reply with a smile and coy tilt of your head that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed, based on the way his already probing gaze intensifies.
“Do you?” he asks again, and you think about it for a moment.
“Not really,” you admit, letting out a small giggle at the disapproving look he gives you. “But maybe I can be convinced.”
He smiles widely, looking so bright that it truly dazzles you before continuing on to say, “I’m glad to hear that.”
“Why?” you ask. “Do you?”
“I don’t think I did,” he answers carefully, “until I saw you just now.”
“Oh, brother!” you burst out laughing—half from surprise and half from being flustered by how surprisingly sincere he sounded. In your attempt to recover from your outburst, you catch a glimpse of him to see that he’s gazing at you openly with a fond look in his eyes. “You are really something, you know that?”
He steps closer to you with a heat in his eyes, a glowing ember of intensity burning as he asks, “Something good or something bad?”
You shrug playfully and lean closer, wanting him nearer to you. “Jury’s still out on that part.”
He chuckles and wets his lips before his gaze drops to yours. “Can I present some new evidence?” he murmurs, and you tilt your head to the side as you pretend to think it over. “Has anyone ever told you that it’s really cute when you do that?”
“Of course,” you snicker. “Why do you think I do it?”
“So you’re turning up the charm right now, but you don’t believe in love at first sight?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. 
“Is it love at first sight or attraction, sir?”
He grins and steps even closer, dangerously close to touching you. “So you’re attracted to me.”
You look around, confused. “Now who said all that?” 
“You just did.”
”I most certainly did not.”
He half-scoffs, half-laughs in disbelief and points at you accusingly. “I heard you.”
“You heard wrong, I guess,” you reply with a nonchalant shrug before patting his chest twice. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket and you both hesitate, neither of you wanting to exit the intimate moment. However, when it buzzes a second time, then a third, you decide to give up and pull your phone from your pocket to check it.
jeno [23:04] hey i’m back
jeno [23:04] i have your surprise :)
jeno [23:05] let me know where to find you
You lock your phone and look up at the handsome stranger with a small frown. “Anyway, this was great, but I have to go find someone.”
He frowns deeply and catches your hand as it leaves his chest, lacing his fingers with yours and looking up at you. “Do you actually have to leave or am I making you nervous?”
“I told my friend I’d find him later, and it’s officially later,” you explain truthfully, and he seems to hear the sincerity in your voice, because he relaxes visibly. “Maybe I’ll find you after?” you offer, and he perks up, gently squeezing your hand.
“I’d like that.”
“Can I get a name? So I know who I’m looking for later?” you ask.
He smiles, shaking his head. “I’ll tell you when you find me later.”
You pout, and he smiles fondly at you. “I guess.” you relent, grabbing the soda and snacks you came to get off of the counter and heading towards the kitchen exit. “See you later?”
He nods resolutely. “See you later.” 
You exit the kitchen with a small smile that threatens to take over your whole face if you don’t calm your spirits as you begin your second search of the night for Jeno. 
After grabbing the presents you got for him from where you’d stashed them in Chaewon’s room, it doesn’t take you long at all to find him, the male still lingering by the entrance when you spot him. You sneak around a small group of people and pop up beside him, making him jolt in surprise and clutch his chest.
“Hi,” you giggle, and Jeno slumps with relief when his eyes lock on you, a warm smile coming to his face.
“Hey,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
“So… how do you want to do this?” you ask curiously. “I can go first if you want?”
“No, I want to go first for sure,” he replies with a sureness in his voice that leaves you a little surprised and mildly impressed.
You gesture for him to start, still holding your present for him behind your back, and he retrieves two small, rectangular boxes from inside his jacket pocket. 
“That looks expensive,” you say worriedly, and he chuckles fondly before waving a hand dismissively.
“It wasn’t too bad, don’t worry.” he replies reassuringly as he hands you the small boxes.
You gesture awkwardly with your hands still behind your back, trying your best to indicate that your hands are currently out of commission, and his eyes light up with understanding before he’s gingerly opening one of the navy blue boxes.
You gasp once you’ve peered into the box, your eyes wide as you look up at him in surprise. ”Jeno.”
“Is it too much? Oh, God, you hate it. I’m sorry–” he starts to worry aloud.
“Wait—Jeno—”
“I can take it back, maybe, and you can pick out something you’d like more—”
“Jeno?”
“I should have thought it through more carefully—”
”Jeno!” your voice is gentle in tone but loud enough to catch his attention, his worried eyes locking in on yours. “Please relax.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles embarrassedly, looking down at the floor.
“I was going to say that I genuinely love them. The necklace and the earrings are stunning, and they’re exactly my style.” you say sincerely, in awe as you stare down at the beautiful pieces of jewelry Jeno bought you. The necklace is a silver choker, a paperclip-like link type chain with a diamond-encrusted butterfly in the center. The earrings are matching silver hoops with butterflies adorned along the rings of metal, and your jaw drops slightly as you take in the beauty of Jeno’s present.
“You really like it?” he asks excitedly, a hint of worry still in his voice, but when you nod, his brows unfurrow and he smiles widely, relieved. “I saw the set and it reminded me of you. It’s beautiful, classy, and fun.” 
You can’t help but smile. “You think I’m classy and fun?”
“Of course,” he answers instantly, and your smile widens as you step closer to him curiously.
“You think I’m beautiful?” you ask with your eyebrows raised, and Jeno visibly swallows.
“I do,” he bashfully agrees, and you coo fondly, wanting nothing more than to set his present down and wrap him in a tight hug. “I really do.” 
“Jeno,” you tease playfully, “I’m kinda dying to know what’s in the other box.”
“Oh, yeah!” he exclaims, closing the first box and opening the second as he explains, “I just got them in gold and silver because I know you tend to wear both depending on your mood and your outfit, so I gave you options.”
“Jeno, that is so thoughtful.” you gush appreciatively, and he blushes immediately, cheeks pinking along with the tips of his ears. “I absolutely love them,” you say gratefully, a warm smile curling your lips.
“Thank God,” he sighs with a laugh that you join him in.
“Okay, so… don’t know how I’m gonna top that,” you joke, “but it’s my turn now.”
“You have my undivided attention,” he assures you, and you can’t help but bat your lashes at him slightly.
“I like the idea of that.” you say flirtatiously, and he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. “Okay, here, we’ll trade and you’ll open.”
“Deal,” he agrees, swapping presents with you. You watch nervously as he unties the ribbon on the white box and lifts the lid. “This looks delicious, holy shit.”
“I made it myself,” you say carefully. 
He looks up at you in surprise. “From scratch?”
You nod. “From scratch.”
“That’s amazing,” Jeno marvels. “Isn’t Victoria sponge cake hard to make?”
“Baking is only hard if you can’t follow instructions.” you say with a resolute nod, and Jeno snickers.
“I never thought of you as a rule-follower, if I’m being honest,” he admits.
You shrug. “Rules and instructions are very different to me, but I can be very obedient when I want to be.”
Jeno pauses at that, eyeing you suspiciously. “Oh, yeah? Like when?”
“In the bedroom.” you answer without hesitation, smiling in amusement as Jeno’s eyes widen slightly.
“You never gave off ‘obedient,’ y’know.” Jeno informs you.
“If I can tell you know what you’re doing, I’ll listen to you.” you reply with a nonchalant shrug.
“Yeah? Would you listen to me?” Jeno asks, voice quieter and, if you’re not mistaken, lower than before. There’s a suggestive edge to his voice, playful and flirtatious, but in the way that very much indicates that he’d stop joking in a minute if you were into it.
“Depends,” you answer, smiling up at him. “Do you know what you’re doing in there?”
His responding chuckle is significantly deeper than the ones before it, the sound undeniably attractive as he regards you carefully. “Absolutely.”
“Is that so?” you muse softly, watching him intently. “And I’m supposed to go off of your word?”
“You don’t trust me?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, and you shrug.
“I just tend to learn better from experience.” you reply with a small flirtatious smile that threatens to overtake your whole face.
“Maybe we can arrange that.” he says with a playful grin.
“I’ll keep my schedule open.” you say with a curt nod, and he snorts in amusement.
“Perfect.” he agrees before focusing his attention on the smaller box in his arms. He sets the cake box down on the table by the entryway and unwraps the other, cube-shaped box, his eyes widening with excitement when its contents are revealed to him.
“No way!” he gasps, turning the Big Ben snow globe this way and that. 
“I remembered you have a snow globe collection and I thought I could help you add to it.” you explain, and Jeno looks up at you, eyes bright.
“You’re amazing. Thank you so much.” he gushes happily, and you beam at him before waving him off.
“Of course, Jeno. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you while I was gone.” you say sweetly, and he grins before opening his arms for a hug, 
You step into his embrace readily and wrap your arms around his middle, the two of you squeezing each other tightly. When you pull back slightly, you realize Jeno still hasn’t let you go, his arms still securely wrapped around your waist. 
“I really missed you, y’know.” Jeno says softly, and your heart warms.
“I missed you too, Jeno. It’s good to be back.” you echo, and he smiles before gently releasing you, his reluctance apparent in the way his fingers linger as they pull away from you. “Oh!” you say, remembering something out of nowhere. “I actually still have to give Winter her present, so I’m gonna track her down and do that.”
“Oh, of course, yeah, go for it. Thank you again—I’m gonna demolish this cake later.” Jeno says, finishing his sentence in a conspiratorial whisper, and you giggle.
“I’m glad. I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?” You reach up and pinch his chin gently, smiling wider when his blush from earlier returns in full force.
Jeno nods shyly, and you release him before venturing further into the party in search of Winter.
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Finally spotting Winter across the room on her phone, you cross the living room and tap her shoulder from behind, smiling widely when she turns around.
“Hey!” she greets excitedly, wrapping you in a hug. You two rock from side to side for a moment, hearts full, before you release each other. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to give you your present,” you say with a small shrug and a smile, and her eyes widen. “It’s nothing crazy!” you warn her, waving your hands dismissively, and she shrugs, reaching out for the gift bag in your hand with opening and closing fists.
“I wanna see! Can I see, please?” Winter pleads, and you give in with a fond laugh, handing over the gift bag. 
You wait with bated breath as she opens the present, her eyes softening fondly as she gazes down at the stuffed plushie in her hand.
“It’s so cute! How’d you even find a desert fox plushie?” she asks, in awe as she turns it this way and that.
“I had it commissioned from a toy store boutique only in England,” you explain, and she smiles widely, wrapping you in another tight hug.
“Thank you so much,” she gushes, pulling back from the embrace to clutch her plushie to her chest tightly. “I gotta come up with a name for you, little guy!”
“You do that,” you laugh, moving a stray curl out of her face. “I’m gonna keep making my way through the party.”
“Okay,” she sing-songs. “See you later!”
“See you, babe!” you chirp, waving goodbye before heading back the way you came, deciding to take a detour into the kitchen for more snacks.
You’re barely in there for five minutes, munching happily on salty and sweet snacks alike, before you exit and run almost directly into the chest of someone; the only thing stopping the collision are their quick reflexes as they steady you in place.
“Sorry!” you apologize, stepping back and looking up to your victim before you stop short and a pleased smile curls your lips.
“Hey, you. Was wondering where you’d run off to.” the handsome stranger from earlier says, smiling at you.
“Oh, y’know. Making the rounds, saying hi to everyone. It is my party, after all.” you reply with a secretive smile, and he steps closer with raised eyebrows of intrigue.
“Is that so?” he asks, and you nod, stepping a bit closer to hear him better. 
“Mm, yeah,” you hum. “You know what’s weird?”
“What is it?” 
“This party is for me, and yet there are people here I’ve never met before,” you muse. “Like you.”
“Maybe it’s a sign you're meant to get to know me.” he suggests with a wry grin, and you roll your eyes with a laugh.
“Good one.” you reply playfully. “So what should we do to get to know each other?” you ask with a playful lilt and feigned curiosity.
“Mm, you could start by telling me more about yourself.” he replies, and you raise your brows.
“‘Myself’ is a very broad topic,” you point out, and he snorts. “Be more specific.”
“Fair, fair.” he agrees with a chuckle. “What are…” he trails off thoughtfully before he perks up again, “your love languages?”
“I feel like this is an unfair advantage sort of question,” you reply with a small pout. (You do not miss the way his gaze softens fondly. Or the way it drops to your lips.) “So, I’ll only answer if you do, too.”
“That’s fair,” he agrees with a smile. “You first, though.”
“Mine are,” you say as you try to recall what the quiz results said the last time you took it, “acts of service, physical touch, and quality time. What about you?”
“Wait, let’s unpack yours first—”
“No, you say yours, then we’ll unpack mine. Fess up, bucko.” you press, poking him gently in the chest.
He laughs at your poke and mini outburst before obliging. “Physical touch,” he murmurs, leaning into your space and smirking slightly when you half-step, half-stumble back, “words of affirmation,” he straightens up and gestures between the two of you casually with a cheeky grin before finishing with, “and quality time.”
“You’re so smooth,” you gush sarcastically, and he snickers.
“Why, thank you. I’d say I try, but then I’d be lying.” 
You shoot him a look. “Don’t push it.”
Holding his hands up in surrender, he shrugs. “My bad.”
“As long as you know.” you reply with a sweet smile, and his gaze softens. “What?”
“You’ve got a beautiful smile, you know that?” he murmurs, and your cheeks warm. 
“Thanks,” you mumble bashfully, and he coos fondly at you. 
“So cute,” he fawns.
You glower at him. “I’m out of here,” you mutter, undeniably flustered and embarrassed about it. 
“Aw, come back, cutie—” he slips his fingers around your wrist gently and tugs you closer, smiling when there’s virtually no resistance from your end. “I didn’t mean to make you all nervous,” he apologizes with a playful, teasing lilt that tells you he might not actually be all that sorry. 
Turning your nose up, you look away from him even as his hand slips down to let his thumb stroke gently at the back of your hand. At your small intake of breath, he smiles and tugs you even closer—dangerously close, actually—before moving to wrap his hand around the small of your back.
It’s almost as if the Fates themselves decided to intervene, the divine timing is that impeccable.
His phone pings, and he frowns before pulling it out of his back pocket and checking the screen. His face falls visibly and so drastically that it actually hurts you to see for a moment, leading you to avert your gaze politely.
His hand slowly retreats from its original path, and you’re shocked to find that you’re a bit disappointed. 
“Do me a small favor? Schedule some time for me later before your busy, busy party ends? I’ll be back.” he says hopefully, squeezing your hand gently before shooting you an apologetic smile and turning to weave between a couple of people before disappearing into the hallway.
You try not to look as disappointed as you feel, but apparently you fail because Seulgi’s by your side moments later from out of virtually nowhere.
“I saw you pouting from all the way across the room,” she chuckles fondly as she strokes your back gently. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m not pouting,” you mumble, and Seulgi raises an eyebrow.
“Tell that to your bottom lip,” she points out, and you tuck it back in with an air of defeat. “Exactly. Now what’s wrong?”
“I was talking to this really cute guy earlier,” you admit with a slowly deepening frown, “but he had to leave really suddenly.”
Seulgi makes a sympathetic hum. “Did you get his name?”
“No!” you complain, and she nods in understanding.
“Well, even if he had to leave, he might come to another party in the future—because he clearly knows someone here, you know?” 
“What’s wrong?” Chaewon asks, a tipsy Winter in tow.
“How do you know something’s wrong?” you ask, confused. 
“You’re pouting,” Chaewon points out, and you splutter, bewildered. 
“I’m not!” you exclaim defensively, and Winter winces sympathetically.
“You are.” she confirms, reaching out and unceremoniously poking your bottom lip before giggling to herself.
“She’s mad her party crush pulled a Cinderella and dipped on her,” Seulgi explains.
“Ah,” Chaewon and Winter both say sympathetically.
“That sucks,” Winter sighs. “Speaking of cute guys disappearing—has anyone seen my boyfriend anywhere?”
“What’s he wearing?” you ask, and Winter moves to answer before Chaewon unknowingly cuts her off. 
“It’s so weird that you and Haechan have been at this party for so long and have yet to run into each other.” Chaewon marvels aloud, and you shrug casually.
“I probably walked by him or something and just didn’t know,” you brush it off, and Chaewon nods thoughtfully.
“Walked by who and didn’t know?” Yunjin asks from behind you, and when you turn to face her, she frowns. “Why are you pouting?”
“Mother of God—” you huff, crossing your arms, and Yunjin winces.
“Jeez, tough crowd.” she chuckles. “Walked by who and didn’t know?” she presses.
“Haechan,” you explain, and her brows furrow together in confusion, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Oh,” is all she says after a moment. “Wait, can you, um, come help me with something in the bathroom?” she asks you, eyes concerningly piercing.
“Sure,” you mumble, definitely confused but picking up on her sense of urgency. 
“We’ll be right back,” Yunjin explains, tugging you away. “Roommate problems!” she calls over her shoulder, and you grimace to really sell the direness of the situation.
You let her tug you into the bathroom towards the back of the apartment by Seulgi’s and Chaewon’s bedrooms, and she sits you down on the toilet before taking a deep breath.
“I don’t exactly know how to tell you this, but I was trying to find you earlier before this spiraled out of control.” she starts. 
“You’re scaring me,” you complain, and she shushes you as she unlocks her phone and starts searching for something. 
“You did meet Haechan, actually, but I have a feeling no one told you that you met Haechan.” Yunjin says finally, and you think back to the very small amount of people you met for the first time today, pondering over who it might be before Yunjin turns her phone to show you the screen, and— 
“Fuck.” you mumble hoarsely, and Yunjin nods slightly before closing her phone on the screen she’s just showed you of a photo of your friend group, presumably from when you were abroad, where Winter is sitting happily on the lap of— “that’s the stranger I was talking to.” you say sadly. “My party crush.”
“Did he ever say his name?” she asks, and you think back, growing increasingly more irritated when you realize—
“No,” you mutter bitterly, “he must have conveniently forgotten to share that part.”
“Can I say something?” Yunjin says carefully, and you nod solemnly. “I saw you two staring at each other before he followed you into the kitchen.” Your blood runs cold, and it must show on your face, because she quickly adds, “I’m not mad at you, and I’m not going to tell anyone. I’m just gonna warn you, because that staring contest was intense, and I don’t know what happened in that kitchen—I don’t want to!” she says suddenly, putting her hand up to silence you as you move to speak before slowly continuing with, “I just know none of that can happen in front of Winter, so it shouldn’t happen at all.”
“Agreed.” you sigh sadly. “Yeah. I mean, I’m pissed as hell, and I might maim him the next time I see him, but other than that, I guess I’m fine.”
“I mean. yeah. Definitely agree with maiming him, actually.” she agrees after a moment of thought. “Just do something subtle and easy to explain away.”
You smile at her, your spirits lifted slightly. “You’re the best.” 
“Love you, girl.” she says sincerely, bending down to hug you before helping you to your feet. “I got your back.”
You head back out there with no pout in sight, only a deceptive smile as you plan your revenge.
It’s not long before the not-so-mysterious stranger comes back around, by which time you’ve fully worked yourself up into a huff about the situation once more, crossing your arms, leaning against the wall, and eyeing him disapprovingly as he approaches.
“Why so serious?” he jokes, and you raise an eyebrow.
“At what point were you going to tell me you’re dating Winter?” you ask, deciding to get right to the point, and he freezes, shock on his face. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry,” he says immediately. 
“For what?” you test him, and he frowns deeply.
“For hiding that from you.” he sighs, and you huff as he continues, “I just really wanted to get to know you, and I felt like I had to hide that because you knowing would ruin it!”
You look at him with an eyebrow raised pointedly. “And what would you call this?” 
His frown turns to a petulant pout. “Ruined?” he asks.
“Ding, ding, ding,” you say sarcastically before turning to leave.
“Wait, I’m— I’m really sorry,” he pleads, catching your hand before you can slip away. “Can we start over a little bit?”
“How are we gonna start over a little bit?” you ask skeptically, and he stands up straighter, tugging you a bit closer before smiling hopefully and releasing your hand to wave in greeting. 
“Hi, I’m Haechan, Winter’s boyfriend,” he introduces himself as he offers his hand to shake. As you take it, he gently urges you closer with a testing tug before adding, “and I think you’re beautiful.”
“Haechan!” you whisper, half-laughing in surprise, and he shrugs with a sheepish grin.
“Figured I’d lay all my cards out on the table this time.”
“Kinda ballsy, no?” you raise your eyebrows, crossing your arms, and he chuckles.
“I’m a pretty ballsy guy.” 
You eye him up and down before tilting your head to the side and saying, “I’m sure.”
“So am I forgiven?” he asks hopefully. 
“For now,” you reply after a moment of thinking, and continue at the sight of his excited smile, “but I’m watching you.”
“I’d be upset if you weren’t.” he murmurs, and you roll your eyes with a laugh.
It doesn’t take long for your one-sided animosity to dissipate as you and Haechan manage to fall into a normal enough conversation about your activities in Oxford. At one point, the familiar but unpleasant smell of weed filters into your senses, making you subconsciously wrinkle your nose in distaste. 
Haechan raises an eyebrow, amused. “You alright?”
“You don’t smell that?” you ask, and he sniffs the air before he chuckles.
“I’m guessing you’re not much of a smoker?” he speculates.
You shake your head, tipping your head back to swallow the rest of your drink. “Definitely not.” You lick your lips to clean up the remnants of your drink, and barely stifle the laugh that bubbles up when you notice Haechan watching your mouth with both entirely rapt attention and a slightly dazed expression. “See something you like?”
“Sure do,” he breathes, and you yelp, swatting his arm lightly. “You asked!”
“As a joke!”
“Well, sorry for failing to read the room properly. I was a little, um, distracted.”
“Haechan.”
“Hm?”
“Stop staring at my lips.” 
“What if I don’t?” he asks, stepping closer to you slowly. “Hm?”
“You’re awfully bold for a guy who’s dating one of my friends.” you murmur back, and he shrugs, smiling flirtatiously.
“I know what I want.” he answers casually, and the resolve in his voice takes you by surprise, leaving you to swallow a growing lump in your throat.
“I’m, uh,” you stammer, looking around for something, anything, that can save you from his intense attention. “I’m gonna go see if they want snacks,” you finally answer pathetically, and he doesn’t buy it for a minute, a smug grin curling his lips before he nods, seemingly complying.
He waits for you to move past him, staying perfectly still and therefore forcing you to squeeze between him and the counter, and head towards the living room before he’s so close behind you that he’s practically on you and only then does he reply, a smile audible in his voice as he murmurs, “Let’s go, then.”
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“Hi, my dear friends. Are we having a good time?” you ask as you re-enter the living room and scan over each of your friends, all sitting in a circle with Yunjin’s infamous hot pink bong placed carefully in her lap. The party continues on around them, people only sparing cursory glances at the very occupied couch and nearby seating of Seulgi’s and Chaewon’s living room, but you couldn’t care less about the other guests, instead focusing your attention on your seven cross-faded friends. 
Yunjin, ever the lightweight, looks up at you with red-rimmed, half-lidded eyes and a dopey smile. “Never better.” 
“I actually just want to say that I missed you so much,” Chaewon sniffles, hurriedly wiping away a tear before looking up at you earnestly. “I’m so happy you’re back.”
“I missed you, too!” you reply, touched, and she sniffles loudly, the tip of her nose pinking in that signature way that lets you know more tears are en route whether she likes it or not.
“I’m not gonna lie, yo,” Mark mumbles, rubbing a hand over his face and looking over at you. “I’m about to be starving.”
“‘About to be starving’ is crazy, actually.” you snicker, and Mark joins in your laughter, his laugh bubbling up inside of him almost uncontrollably.
“Well, you know how it goes; we smoke, we get high, we get the munchies.” Mark explains, and you nod in understanding. 
“Mark… I went to England for a study abroad program… not to get a lobotomy.” you say slowly, and he snorts loudly in surprise and amusement. “I remember what happens when y’all get high.” you remind him, and he lifts his hands up in surrender, nodding back at you with a grin. “Do you guys want food from the deli down the block?”
“Yes!” The resounding chorus of assent from all your high friends actually takes you by surprise, sending you stepping back in shock only to stumble directly into Haechan’s chest. He steadies you instantly, hands gripping your shoulders securely, and quietly double-checks with you to make sure you’re actually sturdy before releasing you. 
You hate that you found his touch comforting for even a second, trying your best internally to squash the initial attraction you had to him as you attempt to focus on the task at hand.
“Okay, sounds good to me. Can y’all just type your names and what you want in my Notes app?” you ask, unlocking your phone, opening the Notes app, and passing your phone to Yunjin. As your phone makes its way around the circle, you turn slightly to face Haechan, who’s already watching you with an unnerving level of intensity.
“Haechan, why don’t you go with her?” Seulgi suggests, completely missing the warning glare you send her way. “She can’t carry all of that by herself.”
“Yeah, sure, no problem.” he agrees easily, and you purse your lips for a moment, breathing in deeply before turning fully so you’re face-to-face with Haechan. “Looks like we’re gonna spend some more one-on-one time together.” he says with a secretive smile, and you swallow hard, not knowing what to expect from this little excursion.
Your phone eventually makes its way back to you and you look over the orders before putting your phone in your back pocket and heading to grab your coat, Haechan following diligently behind you.
“Okay, we’ll be back soon! Try to hang in there, guys.” you announce, stepping out of the apartment and holding the door open for Haechan, who exits and shuts it behind himself.
As you two make your way down the hall to the elevator, he speeds up slightly so he’s walking in front of you before turning fully around to face you, taking smooth backwards strides down the hall.
“Can I help you with something?” you ask, confused, and he shakes his head with a smile.
“Don’t mind me.” he replies, and you snort in amusement. 
“Kinda hard not to mind you when you seem hellbent on staring holes into my face.” you mutter as you press the elevator button.
“Not my fault you’re nice to look at.” he defends himself, and you look over at him instantly, shock written all over your face. “What’s wrong? Surely you’ve heard that about yourself before.”
“I sure have,” you agree readily, sighing in relief when the elevator door opens. Stepping in, you add, “I just haven’t heard it from the mouth of my friend’s boyfriend.”
“Ah, well.” He follows you into the elevator and shrugs with a “what can you do?” type of smile, making you narrow your eyes. “First time for everything, yeah?”
“Yeah…” you reply slowly, regarding him suspiciously. “Let’s try and make that first time the last time, okay?”
“No promises.” he murmurs, a smile audible in his voice. When you look over at him, he winks at you so quickly you almost think you imagined it, and you jolt, making a noise of bewilderment that sounds embarrassingly close to a mix of a squawk or squeak before turning to face forward again.
The weather actually feels quite nice, you realize when you both get outside, a light, cool breeze filtering through the trees, and you and Haechan walk alongside each other for the first two, maybe three minutes in silence before he breaks it.
“Can I ask you a question?” Haechan asks, looking over at you as you two walk to the deli.
“Depends… is it weird?” you return his question with another question, and he chuckles, shaking his head.
“Don’t think so.”
“Okay, then shoot.”
“I noticed your reaction to the smell of the weed smoke earlier,” he recalls, and you hum in acknowledgement. “Do you not smoke?”
“Not at all,” you reply, and he nods in understanding. “I don’t do any drugs.”
“Me either,” he replies, and a mildly surprised smile makes its way to your lips. “Can I ask if you have a reason for never wanting to try anything?”
You’re silent for a moment as you attempt to find the right words to explain yourself and Haechan waits patiently, the two of you walking in a comfortable silence before you break it. “I don’t like the feeling of not being in control of myself.” you say carefully, and he gives you an emphatic nod that piques your curiosity. “You too?”
“Somewhat, yeah, but I was mainly nodding because I completely get it. For me, I don’t like moving any slower than usual or feeling restricted in any way.” 
“That makes perfect sense, too.” you say, giving him a firm, approving nod of your own, and he chuckles quietly. “I’ve always wondered about what it might be like to just… mellow out and calm down, y’know?”
“Definitely,” he agrees. “They usually get so… happy.”
“Exactly! Well, except for when Chaewon starts crying out of nowhere.” you add.
Haechan laughs. “Yeah, I don’t know what that’s about.”
“That’s another thing, too.” you say, starting to feel more comfortable talking about it to someone who understands. “I feel like some drugs—especially, like, weed, LSD, acid, shrooms, and stuff like that—they tend to bring out, like, parts of your subconscious that are typically hidden away.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard about that and I’ve definitely seen it happen,” Haechan says, sounding surprisingly solemn.
“Yeah, so… whatever’s going on under the surface in here,” you say, tapping your temple, “is none of my business.” you finish with a resolute nod, making Haechan snicker. “I will simply continue raw-dogging life on this bitch of an earth.”
“That’s so real.” Haechan says through his laughter, making you smile.
“Thank you!” you chirp. “Also, when you say you don’t like moving slower or feeling restricted, do you mean in a physical or mental sense? Or is it both?”
“Hmm,” Haechan hums thoughtfully. “Definitely both. I just feel like… I would describe myself and my lifestyle as somewhat fast-paced, y’know? Like, not really very sedentary, I’m always on the move, and if I’m high off of, like, weed or something, I feel like all I’d be able to do is… vegetate…  and I hate the thought of that.”
“That’s so real,” you say, echoing Haechan’s earlier statement. “Well, you know, if you want to move faster, there’s always cocaine,” you joke, and he snorts loudly, clearly not expecting your comment. 
“I definitely wouldn’t try cocaine,” he laughs, shaking his head. “I can just imagine my poor mom if I came to visit her one day and I was all strung out and tweaking.”
“Aw, are you a mama’s boy?” you ask teasingly, nudging him with your shoulder.
“Maybe a little bit, yeah,” he admits with a shy smile, and you grin.
“That’s sweet.” you assure him, and he visibly relaxes, laughing with an air of bashfulness. “We’re here, by the way!” you point out, gesturing to the deli less than thirty feet away at the end of the block.
Haechan jogs slightly ahead of you, opening the door and holding it for you to enter.
“Thank you,” you say with a grateful smile as you step inside. The smell of the deli is delicious, the scents of various foods being cooked wafting through the air, and for a moment you half-expect to start floating involuntarily towards the tastiest smelling dish.
“Okay, let’s get these orders in,” you mutter to yourself before making your way over to where the grill cooks are stationed. “Hi, how are you feeling tonight?” you greet politely, exchanging brief pleasantries before continuing on with, “I actually have a pretty big order I’d like to place with sandwiches and sides, but I don’t mind waiting if I have to!”
“Go ahead, miss,” one of the cooks says, and you look down at your phone before starting to read off the orders.
Haechan stands off to the side and watches on as you rattle off the nine different sandwich and side order combos to the cooks, who nod and start to prepare them. When you’re finished, you turn to face Haechan and smile sweetly before leading him towards the drinks and snacks. 
“Okay, can you help me carry these to the front?” you ask Haechan.
“Of course, yeah,” he answers, and you start to hand him various drinks and snacks off of the note everyone wrote in.
“Okay, a raspberry peach Snapple for me… a Redbull for you—wait, Haechan, you like Redbull but you won’t try cocaine…? Seems fake,” you comment, and Haechan lets out a shocked laugh before raising his hands—well, he’s holding a drink in each hand, so fists—in surrender.
“Take it easy on me!” he begs jokingly, and you pretend to think about it before relenting with a smile and continuing to collect the drinks. 
“Mountain Dew for Seulgi… Sprite for Jeno… oop, and a Sprite for Chenle, too… root beer for Winter… blue Gatorade for Mark… Arizona raspberry iced tea for Yunjin, and finally, that XXX Vitamin Water that Chaewon’s always raving about.” You close the refrigerator door with your hip, the two of you carefully carrying your armfuls of beverages to the counter.
“I never got the Vitamin Water hype.” Haechan admits.
“It’s essentially juice, but like water with a splash of juice, maybe two if you’re lucky.” you say. “At least, that’s what I think, but some of them do actually taste pretty good, too.”
“Hm,” he remarks thoughtfully. “I don’t know, I just never got into it.” 
“You got into that Redbull pretty easily though, huh?” you tease, and he laughs, his cheeks pinking ever so slightly, and you’re glad he’s looking away so he can’t see how blatantly you paused to look at him.
“Miss, some of your order is ready!” One of the cooks calls out to you, and you shoot them a thumbs up as they bring two sandwiches and a couple of trays to the counter for you. “Do you want to pay now or when we’re finished preparing everything?”
“Oh, I can pay now! Just let me go get the chips and stuff.” you say before whizzing off to where the snacks are, returning shortly after with Seulgi’s Takis and Chenle’s red Doritos and placing them on the counter triumphantly. 
The worker manning the register rings your stuff up and reads you out the total, to which you respond by pulling out your phone to tap the card reader, but Haechan calls your name before you can complete the transaction, making you look over at him in confusion.
“I got it,” he offers, reaching for the card reader with his own phone only for you to shoot him a funny look and nudge his phone out of the way to finish paying with your own phone. 
“You didn’t have to pay for it, Haechan,” you assure him. “Think of it as the small fee I had to pay for disappearing from the country for about half of a year.”
“Yeah, but I was being a gentleman.” he protests with a frown.
“It’s okay! Be a gentleman to your girlfriend—not me.” you say with expectantly raised brows.
“I’m trying to impress you, though,” he points out, and you roll your eyes.
“Read the room, maybe?” you chuckle, and he scrunches his nose up in distaste. “Something wrong?”
“I’m not much of a reader.” he replies with a dismissive shrug, and you raise your eyebrows.
“I’m a librarian.” you remind him. “My job is literally all about reading.”
“On second thought,” Haechan blurts out, “I literally read every day, all the time.” When you snicker in amusement, he grins and continues with, “I’m being so serious. I’ve read every bottle of shampoo and body wash in my shower front to back!” he presses, and you burst into laughter. 
“You’re ridiculous.” you giggle as you recover from your laughing fit, and he grins shamelessly.
“I made you laugh, though,” he points out with a smug little grin. “So you kinda like it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lie with a sniff, looking away. 
“You think I’m funny,” he teases, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as he gets closer. “And if earlier was any indication, you think I’m attractive.”
“Where are you going with this?” you say with a roll of your eyes.
“You like me.” he replies simply, and you choke on your spit. 
“Two fairly objective observations are not an indication of me liking you.” you splutter indignantly, and Haechan raises his brow.
“Being attractive is objective now?” he asks skeptically, and you glare at him, turning to the row of deli cooks pretending not to be watching your conversation intently.
“Is he a handsome guy?” you ask them, and they all look between each other with confusion and mild discomfort. “Literally no homo. Please relax. Is he a handsome guy or is he an uggo?” you emphasize, and one of them snorts.
“He’s definitely not ugly, no,” one of the cooks pipes up, and they all nod in agreement. “Handsome guy, actually.” 
“Good bone structure,” the cook beside him adds, and you could swear Haechan starts to blush. “Yeah, he’s a good looking dude.”
“Sí, muy guapo.” A cook you can’t even see chimes in, and you and Haechan look at each other, bewildered. 
“How many of you are back there?” Haechan asks as he chuckles nervously.
“No te preocupes, amigo.” the same cook says, still concealed from view. “Eres guapísimo.”
“Thank you, guys.” you reply gratefully before turning to stick your tongue out at Haechan triumphantly.
To your surprise, his gaze darkens. “Do that again.”
“No, I’m good.” you reply immediately, fixing your face and turning away from him. “Little freak.”
“Mm, maybe a little bit.” he hums, and you grimace.
“Yuck.” you mutter, narrowing your eyes in his direction. “Get a grip. As I was saying, me finding you funny or attractive has nothing to do with liking you.”
“Why wouldn’t you, though?” he presses, and you let out an exasperated sigh before turning fully to face him. 
“You have a girlfriend!” you whisper-shout, confused even further by the way he looks at you, smug and unimpressed.
“So that’s the only thing stopping you?” he says slowly, and you pause as you realize what you’ve admitted to.
“It’s the only thing that matters.” you huff with an air of finality, and Haechan just chuckles, stepping closer.
“Not this? Hm? Not how good—no—how right this feels?” he murmurs suggestively, and you shake your head firmly.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” you mutter, and he scoffs in disbelief. 
“Are you really gonna keep playing dumb?” 
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” you sing-song, and he rolls his eyes.
“Sure.” he murmurs, amused. 
Desperate to change the topic, you look around, your eyes landing on the bags of food on the countertop.
“Man, those fries smell so good,” you groan, staring enviously at the bag containing Winter’s order of curly fries.
“Mm, yeah?” Haechan hums, looking from the bag to you. He puts a finger to his lips in a shushing gesture and pops open the plastic container. He pulls out a small handful of Winter’s curly fries, about as much as he can fit between his thumb and forefinger, and grins at you, winking before popping one in his mouth.
He reaches his hand out, offering you one of his stolen goods, and you hesitate for a second before deciding to reach forward and take the proffered curly fry. As you chew it, your eyes roll back into your head in ecstasy, the fried good the perfect amount of salty, crunchy, and warm.
“Thank you,” you say gratefully, and he waves you off dismissively.
“You’re welcome,” he replies. “It’s our little secret, okay?”
“Jeez, I just met you tonight and you’re already trusting me with secrets?” you chuckle, and he shrugs.
“Well, should I not trust you?” he asks curiously, and you shake your head instantly in disagreement. 
“You can trust me, don’t worry.” you assure him, and he smiles widely, nodding slowly in understanding.
“Great.”
“The real question is if I can trust you,” you continue, and he chuckles.
“You can,” he says confidently, and you raise your eyebrows skeptically.
“How do I know I can trust that?” you ask, and he laughs, rolling his eyes slightly as he leans closer to you conspiratorially.
“That’s just a risk you’re gonna have to take.”
“No, thanks. I’m not big on risks.” you admit.
Haechan tilts his head to the side curiously. “You don’t take any risks?”
You pause to think about it, thoughts racing back to earlier when you made the mental pact with yourself to be more daring and take more risks. “Not really, no. Unless you count letting Yunjin drive.”
He snorts. “I’m talking big risks.”
You stare at him blankly. “Have you ever been in the car with Yunjin?”
Chuckling and shaking his head slightly, he says, “I have.”
“It’s pretty risky.”
“I’m talking about different risks, though. Think harder.” he presses. 
You sigh loudly but oblige, thinking about it again. “I guess studying abroad in Oxford felt pretty risky… I was essentially all alone on the other side of the world.”
He shakes his head. “Bigger,” he explains. “I’m talking about something that,” his gaze slowly falls to your lips and he continues, “could go really wrong.” 
It feels like he’s hinting at something, and you’re not sure you want to find out.
“Truthfully, I don’t get why I would take risks like those.” you say with a pensive frown, and he smiles, eyes still trained on your mouth with an unmistakable fascination as he steps closer to you, practically cornering you against the snack rack behind you, and if he hears your squeak of alarm, he chooses not to comment. 
“It’s about the reward,” he murmurs, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips slowly. “People take risks because they think that the reward is worth it in comparison to what could go wrong.”
“Well, I don’t think most risks I can think of off of the top of my head are worth it,” you say with a stumped pout.
“I can think of one I wanna take right now,” he hums softly, reaching up to rest one hand on the rack behind you, and you balk, finally starting to understand what he’s been hinting at.
“I, um, think that might be too risky.” you reply cautiously, and he chuckles quietly.
“I disagree,” he says plainly. “I think it’d be so worth it.” he breathes out, his gentle breath fanning over your lips, the minty scent tempting you more than you’d like to admit. 
“If you try and kiss me right now,” you say quietly, “I will bite your lip until it bleeds.”
He snickers and nods in understanding. “Understood.”
“Is that risk worth it now?” you ask wryly, and he bites back a laugh.
“I don’t know, let me find out.” he says, leaning in closer, and you yelp, pushing his chest reflexively and, when he barely budges, clapping a hand over your mouth and glaring at him as he laughs loudly. “Man, you’re cute.”
“Shut up,” you mutter contritely, moving your hand away when he relents and steps back. “Let’s not ask why I don’t feel comfortable taking risks and ask, instead, why you—” you poke his chest accusingly, “feel so comfortable being so reckless.”
He shrugs nonchalantly, explaining, “I don’t think it’s that I’m reckless—”
“Yeah, right.” you mutter.
He ignores you. “I think it’s that I want to know what it feels like to truly live.” he finishes, and you pause at that, genuinely taking in his words. “Life is too short to be scared to indulge, you know?”
“Well,” you say slowly, thoughtfully, “I guess that makes sense.”
His eyes widen slightly in surprise. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Maybe I could stand to live a little more,” you ponder, noticing the way his eyes drift down to your lips once more and quickly adding, “but that doesn’t mean you can kiss me. I’ll still bite you.”
“Oh, yeah?” he asks softly, teasingly, and you nod. “What if I said I kinda like it a little rough?”
“I’d say you’re in the wrong relationship.” you blurt out before you can stop yourself, and Haechan’s eyes widen as he points at you with a bright, triumphant grin. “I’m joking! I’m joking.”
“I don’t think you are.” he replies smugly.
“Oh, brother.”
“You think I’m in the wrong relationship?” he presses, and you shake your head vehemently, desperately trying to cover your tracks.
“Only because Winter is not a ‘likes it a little rough’ kind of girl,” you explain quickly.
He nods in agreement. “This is true.” he admits, and you relax slightly, glad he gets your point. “So, who would be the right relationship for me, hm?” he teases, and you groan loudly, tipping your head back in exasperation. “Got any ideas?”
“Nope.” you answer flatly. 
He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, leaning closer. “You sure about that?”
“Miss, the rest of your order is ready!” One of the cooks calls out, and you pounce on the interruption eagerly.
“Thank you!” you call back to the cooks before turning to Haechan with a relieved smile. “You know what? We’d better go back before they put out a Missing Persons report for us.” you dodge his taunting question from earlier and carefully remove yourself from your very compromising position, walking towards the counter of the bodega to collect the bags of food. “Are you coming or what?” you huff, attempting to conceal how flustered his previous line of questioning has left you by placing a hand on your hip impatiently.
He shakes his head with a chuckle, but meets you by the door, slipping his fingers in the loops of the numerous bags weighing down your index and middle fingers to relieve you of the burden. He leans forward, opening the door for you and gesturing for you to exit first. “You’re lucky I don’t want to hear any of them complain about their food being cold, because I could do this—” he gestures between the two of you, “all night and then some.”
“That’s great, Casanova,” you drawl, pointing ahead of you down the street towards where you’re heading. “Now walk.”
As you two walk back from the bodega, you can’t help but notice that Haechan’s path keeps veering slightly off-course, the male repeatedly bumping into you as you two walk. 
“You good?” you ask finally after what must be the eighth mini-collision, and Haechan chuckles, albeit somewhat sheepishly as he brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Is there a reason why you keep bumping into me? Are the bags throwing you off-balance or something?”
“Would you, uh, believe me if I said that I just like you and want to be close to you?” he answers, and you stop short, blinking at him impassively which causes him to stop walking as well.
“Bold words for someone with a whole girlfriend back at the party.” you reply with a dismissive snort, and he shrugs.
“I don’t know what it is,” he says as you two slowly fall back into a comfortable pace. “I think we’d be good together.”
“Haechan,” you warn. 
“You fascinate me,” he admits plainly, staring at your face openly. “I wanna get to know you better.”
“Mm, I don’t know about that,” you say apprehensively. 
“I’m gonna learn about you eventually, because I’m not going anywhere.” he replies confidently. “I’m gonna learn everything about you—your hopes, your dreams, your fears—” he leans closer so his breath hits your cheek and continues, “what makes you tick.”
“Well, you wanna know something?” you offer, and he nods instantly, leaning towards you in anticipation. “Something that makes me tick is when guys with girlfriends hit on me very blatantly.”
“Ah, I see,” Haechan remarks thoughtfully. “So I should be more subtle.”
“I—well—no, that’s not really what I meant.”
“Well, what did you mean?”
“Stop saying flirtatious things!” 
“So you want me to stop saying flirtatious things—”
”Yes, that’s quite literally what I just said—”
“—and start doing flirtatious things.”
Your mouth snaps shut and you stare at him incredulously. “Not even remotely what I meant.”
“No, I think that’s what you were hinting at.” 
“You’re unbelievable.”
“You’d better believe it, baby.”
“Calling me ‘baby’ when you have a whole girlfriend is crazy, by the way.”
“Maybe I’m crazy. Did you think about that?”
“Clearly. I’ll let Winter know her boyfriend is actually an escapee from the insane asylum and she’ll just dump you.”
“So you can have me all to yourself… I like it.” He grins, and you open and close your mouth repeatedly, at a loss for words.
“Where are you hearing these things? Haechan, do you often hear things other people don’t?” you ask with patronizing concern, and he bursts out laughing. “It’s not funny, actually! Maybe I will tell Winter after all.”
“She won’t do anything,” he replies through his laughter.
“You’re right.” you agree in disappointment. “Poor girl. She’d probably think she can fix you.”
“I know what could fix me,” he says, fixing you in place with a serious stare.
“Haechan, you’re kinda scaring me.”
“Relax, it’s nothing crazy.”
“You’re not exactly what I’d consider a good judge of what’s crazy or not.”
“I just want your number, God.”
“Oh!” you reply, relieved, and an equally relieved smile appears on his face. “You’re not getting that.”
“Aw, come on!” he whines, leaning on you dramatically. “How am I supposed to get to know you?”
“Through speaking to me in person?”
“So you wanna see me… in person…” he trails off with a suggestive lilt to his voice, wiggling his eyebrows, and you suck your teeth. “If you like me, you can just say that, you know. I won’t tell.”
“You really are crazy.” you marvel, and he grins over at you.
“Is that… intrigue I detect in your voice?” he teases, and you balk.
“No?” you reply a bit too quickly, and his eyes light up.
“You’re intrigued by me!”
“I just wanna know how and where Winter found your crazy ass!”
“So you can go there and get yourself another me?” he replies, and you groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Hate to break it to you, princess, but there’s only one of me.”
“Thank God for that.” you mutter under your breath. “So, do you have, like, a mute button or something?”
“I’ll shut up for the rest of the walk back if you give me your number.” he says with a mischievous smile, and you roll your eyes, Haechan’s ever-so-keen eyes noticing your hesitation. “You’re totally thinking about it.”
“I really want you to stop before you get one or both of us in trouble.”
“I will be as quiet as a street rat if you give me your number and don’t block me before I can text you.”
“Damn, how’d you know I was gonna do that?”
“I know the signs of someone playing hard to get.” he says proudly, and you snort.
“I’m not playing hard to get, Haechan. You’re playing hard to get rid of.”
“And I’m gonna play until I win. Now—your number, please.” He smiles dazzlingly at you, pulling out his phone from his back pocket and handing it to you.
You stare at his unlocked phone then at his twinkling, hopeful eyes before sighing in defeat and taking the phone from his hand to enter your number.
“Hell yeah!” Haechan cheers, and you shoot him a judgmental stare.
“Ground rules.” you say plainly, and he nods, instantly attentive. He is cute, you think reluctantly, especially like this as he hangs on your every word like a puppy. “No texting me suggestive photos.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Keep the texts harmless.” you warn him, and he nods in agreement.
“You got it.”
“And don’t call or FaceTime unless it’s an absolute emergency.” you finish, and he scrunches his face up in confusion.
“What if the emergency is that I want to see you or hear your voice?”
“Absolutely bonkers thing to say with a girlfriend, by the way.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I have Instagram… just look at my pictures or something, I don’t know.”
“What if I want to see you right then exactly how you are?”
“That’s too bad.”
“Fine,” he huffs, and you already know this is going to be a bad decision. “What exactly constitutes an emergency?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. If you were injured or in danger or something and no one else was picking up?”
“Okay…” he trails off skeptically.
“Even then, though, I think you should just call emergency services.”
“You’re brutal,” Haechan remarks in awe. “I like it.”
“Watch it!”
“Watching,” he replies smoothly, grinning in your direction, and you turn to face forward quickly, hoping he didn’t catch your smile. “I saw that.”
“You saw nothing.”
“You smiled. You like me—at least a little bit!”
“First you’re hearing things, and now you’re seeing things? Maybe we should get you checked out.”
“…We?” he points out with a sly smirk, and you roll your eyes as you trudge ahead and up to the apartment building, repeatedly (and with an air of impatience) buzzing the intercom to be let in.
“Thank God we’re back.”
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“Since when was the museum so damn expensive?” Chenle mutters in awe as he forks over the thirty dollars for the admission fee.
“It’s the price of knowledge,” Yunjin sighs with a shrug as she takes Chenle’s place at the ticket till and hands the attendant three $10 bills.
“Psst,” Haechan whispers to get your attention, and you turn your head slightly to see he’s leaning towards you. “This is enough to radicalize me,” Haechan huffs bitterly before releasing Winter’s hand and stepping forward to pay. You notice with a curious tilt of your head that he’s taken longer than the rest of your friends so far, despite using Apple Pay, but you don’t think much of it until he’s walked away with Winter and it’s your turn at the register, where the attendant hands you a ticket with a smile.
“Oh, I didn’t pay yet—”
“The gentleman before you paid for your ticket,” she explains with a small nod, and you pause, mentally buffering before smiling at the attendant, taking the ticket, and walking to join your group.
When you meet up with them, Haechan already has his eyes trained in your direction, his left eyelid dropping down into a secretive wink before he grins at you. 
“You’re too much,” you mouth at him, walking up beside him to nudge him with your shoulder surreptitiously. He lets out a small chuckle and shrugs as casually as he can before he tickles the palm of your hand with his fingers in a gesture that has you wondering if he plans to hold both your hand and his girlfriend’s. Before the thought can gain much traction, however, the tour guide for your group appears and introduces herself as she passes out museum maps to everyone in your party.
After introducing herself, she takes you through a corridor to the Egyptian art section, walking you by a preserved tomb and detailing funeral processions and Egyptian customs. The guide herself is very engaging and the artwork is fascinating, but you actually came on a mission to see certain wings of the museum. As she walks you through the Egyptian art wing, you consult your map, trying to see if there’s a point coming up where you can casually separate from the group. 
Initially, you were following after the tour guide, but now you’re admittedly starting to fall towards the back of the group due to your lack of interest in this particular time period, when the exhibit at the end of the hallway you just passed catches your eye. 
You look around you to see if anyone in your tour group is around, observing that the coast is clear before you attempt to break off from your group and do your own thing.
“And where are you sneaking off to?” Haechan’s voice appears out of seemingly nowhere, making you gasp as you whip your head around to look at him.
“Why?” you ask, furrowing your brows. “Are you gonna snitch on me for leaving?”
“I’m not snitching,” he promises you, and you relax slightly before he continues with, “I’m coming.”
You stop short and look at him like he’s grown a second head. “You seem to be mistaken.” 
“Definitely not that,” Haechan assures you, and you roll your eyes before quickly turning to leave. He catches up with you easily, making you huff quietly in frustration, and continues to attempt to persuade you, saying, “You need someone with you in case you get lost.”
“Haechan, if I’m with someone and I’m lost, then I’m pretty sure they’re as good as lost too.” you explain slowly, and Haechan pauses to think, leaving you the open opportunity to slip away from him yet again.
He manages to find you yet again, grinning triumphantly when he does, and argues, “I think you should travel with someone—like me—who has a map.”
“Haechan, I am quite literally holding the map they just gave me.” you remind him, and he seems to buffer in real-time, lips parting to form a shocked little “O” shape that is, for all its silliness, stupidly attractive on him.
You’ll give it to him; he’s definitely not lacking in the looks department. 
“Well—haven’t you ever heard of the buddy system? There’s safety in numbers, y’know.” Haechan catches up with you once more as you speed walk down a mostly empty hallway. 
“Oh, my God, fine.” you whisper-yell exasperatedly. “Fine, you can come with me.”
He perks up immediately, smiling brightly and you can see his body relax as you gradually slow your pace into a comfortable stroll so he can fall into stride with you.
“Great,” he says happily. “Where are we going first?”
“Well, I really want to see the Greek sculptures…” you half-say, half-suggest hopefully.
“Okay, sounds great; let’s go!”
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“Haechan.” 
“Mhm?”
“Can you walk faster, please? I’m not trying to lose a whole person in the Met.” you complain, stopping in your tracks and turning around to let Haechan catch up to you. The section you’re passing through is packed, the room filled with the din of various animated conversations all overlapping one another.
“Sorry, I’m just taking in all the art in front of me,” he replies, and your expression softens as you remember that this is, in fact, a museum exhibit you’re standing in and not merely a hallway to where you want to go.
“Yeah, the paintings are beautiful,” you agree, and he looks over at you with a confused look.
“Oh—yeah, the paintings are cool, too.” he answers unconvincingly, and you stare at him expressionlessly.
“What were you looking at if not the paintings?” you ask, confused, and he looks you up and down pointedly as if to answer your question. “You’re ridiculous,” you groan, turning to walk away.
“Oh, come on, you can’t blame me! You in that outfit is a goddamn masterpiece.” he defends himself, and you just sigh loudly as you keep walking. 
“Keep up!” you quip, and he catches up to you, leaning down slightly so his lips are by your ear.
“Don’t even get me started on this cute little skirt you’ve got on,” he murmurs suggestively, and an involuntary shudder travels down your spine from the ticklish sensation of his breath on the hair on the back of your neck. “Kinda driving me crazy,” he half-mumbles, half-chuckles.
“It can’t be that hard to drive you crazy,” you point out. “You already live on the corner of Bonkers Boulevard and Delulu Drive.”
“Wow, and you call me a menace?” he snorts in amusement, reaching over to pinch your side in retaliation and laughing when you dance away with a giggle. “Come back, I thought we had to stick together,” he complains.
You roll your eyes but stop just ahead of him, hands placed on your hips as you wait for him to catch up. 
“That’s better,” he finally says when he’s beside you once more. “You know, maybe we should hold hands.” he suggests, smiling wider and nodding vigorously in an attempt to convince you when you look over at him with a “no” already on the tip of your tongue.
“And why would we do that?” you ask, tilting your head to the side in a patronizing act of confusion.
“It’s crowded. What if someone walks between us and you turn to enter an exhibit but I don’t see where you went?” He frowns petulantly, and you scoff dismissively. 
“You can hold my purse,” you offer, holding it out to him.
“How is that gonna help me stay close to you?” he asks with a frown, and you shoot him a look.
“It’ll help me stay close to you,” you clarify. “All my stuff is in there, so I’m not going anywhere that bag’s not going.”
“Hm. I’d rather hold your hand but I guess this will do.” he sighs dramatically, and you snicker.
“Keep wishing.” you reply casually.
“Oh, I will. Got any loose eyelashes I can wish on and blow away?” 
“No.”
“Lucky pennies?”
“I don’t have change. Does the universe take Apple Pay?” you reply in a bored tone, and he snorts loudly in amusement.
“Man, gorgeous and funny,” he sighs contentedly, and it’s your turn to exhale in amusement. “Fine. I’ll wait until 11:11 to make the wish.”
“You know that because you told me what you’re gonna wish for, it’s not gonna come true now, right?” you remind him with a teasing smile, and his eyes widen comically.
“I’ll wish for something different.” he relents, and you can’t help but frown slightly at the crestfallen look on his face. You look around to see if anyone you know is nearby and, seeing no one, let out a defeated yet amused sigh before reaching out and linking your fingers with his. “I knew you liked me,” he remarks with an air of smug satisfaction, and you scowl at him before ripping your fingers from his. 
“...And you’re done.”
“Nope, too late,” he replies with a wide grin as he links his fingers with yours again, either oblivious to the fight you’re putting up or simply unfazed. “We’re locked in now.” he teases, and you raise your brows in a silent challenge. 
“Oh, yeah? Should I call you something cutesy like—oh,” you say, stopping mid-sentence and turning to look at him with a slowly growing mischievous smile. “What was that name Winter called you on the way here?”
“Oh, please don’t.” 
“Was it Snookums?” you think aloud, and he groans, tossing his head back dramatically.
“Please?”
“Cuddlebug?”
“No—”
“Oh!” you exclaim, snapping your fingers and pointing at him. “Pookie Bear.” you say triumphantly, and the grimace on his face is beyond rewarding.
“You don’t have to call me that,” Haechan says hurriedly. “In fact, I’d rather you not—”
“But I love calling you Pookie Bear, Pookie Bear.” you coo affectionately, putting extra emphasis on the embarrassing pet name to leave it dripping with saccharine sweetness.
“You know what’s kind of crazy?” he asks, and you shake your head.
“Besides you? No.”
“Ha, ha.” he drawls. “What’s crazy is that it’s kinda hot the way you say it.” he points out, and you whine loudly in protest. 
“I can’t have anything, man! I get to torment you back for less than two minutes, and your freaky little self likes it?” you gripe under your breath as you pull him towards the large sign indicating the doorway to the beginning of the Greek sculptures exhibit. “We’re here!” you announce happily.
“Anything I should know before we enter this section?” he asks curiously, and you think for a moment before nodding.
“Most, if not all, of these statues have micropenises.” you warn him, and roll your eyes instantly at the immediate amusement on his face. “Keep the dick jokes to a minimum.”
“You got it, princess.” he agrees, nodding cooperatively, and you whirl around to look at him.
“Princess?!”
“You call me Pookie Bear, I call you princess.” he says with a nonchalant shrug, and you narrow your eyes at him in a silent staredown. “It’ll grow on you,” he says confidently as he starts walking into the exhibit.
And as you’re tugged along after him, protesting all the while that “it most certainly will not,” you can’t help but feel like it already has—that is, if the sensation you’re feeling of a lone butterfly fluttering around your stomach has anything to do with it.
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“Haechan,” you whisper urgently, shaking your linked hands to get his attention.
He looks over at you curiously, eyebrows raised expectantly, and you point towards a sign in the corridor. “What is it?” he asks. “The café?”
You nod. “I’m hungry.” 
“Honestly, I could eat,” he agrees, and you beam up at him, tugging him towards the entrance to the café.
The café is lovely, with a fairly large selection of ready-to-eat foods, and you and Haechan walk around the tables of food before you spot one in the distance and slip your hand out of his to go check it out. 
No less than a moment after you’ve let go of Haechan, he practically snatches your hand back up, stubbornly linking his fingers with yours once more.
When you shoot him a look, he just stares at you with a challenge in his eyes, daring you to let go again.
“You’re something else.” you laugh, and he shrugs.
“Give a guy a warning next time,” he replies. “I wasn’t ready to let go.”
“Warning: I’m about to let go,” you say patronizingly, and he just shakes his head. “Wh—no? What do you mean, no?”
”No, you’re not.” he says simply.
“I literally am,” you let out a laugh of disbelief before attempting to tug your fingers from his again. “Haechan, quit being a brat!”
“It’s in my DNA,” he replies with a dismissive shrug. “I like holding hands.”
“Hold your own hand, then.” you snicker, and he shakes his head decisively. 
“Like holding your hand better.” he coos fondly, and you roll your eyes. “Just take me with you to check out the food, princess.”
“I’m ignoring that,�� you huff, but lead him to the sushi rolls you were staring at nonetheless. “Happy now?”
“Thrilled,” he confirms as he smiles over at you, and you bite down on your lip to hide the smile that threatens to greet him. “What are you gonna get?”
“Nothing crazy,” you muse, picking up a tray and inspecting the rolls inside. “Maybe just this and a drink.”
“Which one’s that?” Haechan asks curiously, peering over your shoulder. 
“California roll,” you answer with a smile before reaching into the refrigerated drink section and grabbing an organic peach soda.
Haechan follows your lead, picking up a sushi roll container and snagging a Dr. Pepper from the drink area before you two make your way to the cashier to pay.
The cashier greets you both with a friendly smile and rings you up first. When you’re about to pay, Haechan grips the back of your cardigan and firmly but gently pulls you away from the counter before tapping his phone to the payment screen.
“You didn’t need to do that,” you huff with a frown, and he just smiles as the receipt comes out.
“I’m a gentleman,” he replies simply as the cashier rings him up, and you snort in amusement.
“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” you ask dryly, and he narrows his eyes at you. When it’s his turn to pay, you inch closer to the payment screen in the hopes to return the favor, but Haechan is one step ahead of you, plucking your phone from your hand with ease and pocketing it before tapping his phone to the screen again.
“Yeah, it is,” he replies with a cheery grin, smugness laced in his voice. “Come on, let’s eat.”
You two thank the cashier before heading towards the back of the café, where you sit at the corner table, Haechan sliding in beside you.
“You couldn’t sit over there?” you ask flatly, gesturing to the empty spot in front of you, and he shakes his head with a teasing smile. “Of course not.” you sigh in defeat, instead opening your California roll tray and breaking the wooden chopsticks to start eating. “What’d you get?”
Haechan pauses to look at the label on his container before opening it. “Seaside salmon roll,” he replies, snapping his chopsticks neatly into two before picking up a piece of sushi from the carefully composed roll.
“Ooh, yum,” you say before placing a piece of your own roll into your mouth and chewing, your eyes sliding shut in bliss. “God, that’s good.”
“This sushi tastes like heaven,” Haechan groans happily, and you giggle, your mood lifting with some good food entering your system. 
“Hey,” you say as you pick up your next piece, “I just realized; what if they want to get food after this?” you ask, and he shrugs.
“Either we’re not hungry, or we get something small.” he suggests, and you nod in agreement before eating the next piece of sushi.
“Are you gonna be sneaky and pay for that, too?” you ask, unamused, and he nods proudly. “I can pay for my own food, you know; my librarian job makes decent pay.”
“Yeah, well, I can pay, too. My job definitely pays decently.” Haechan replies stubbornly.
“Oh, yeah? And what do you do?” you question.
“I’m a wine sommelier for a high-end restaurant downtown.” he answers proudly, and you purse your lips in quiet defeat.
“That actually does sound like a decent-paying job.” you admit, and he nods confidently. “Well, hey, did you know they sell wine here?” 
“Oh, yeah?” he asks, looking around for the wine menu and relaxing once you point it out to him. 
“Yep. So tell me, Mr. Sommelier, which wine would go best with my California roll?” you quiz him, and his lips quirk up into a smile.
“What’s the taste like?” he asks, and you pick up a piece and put it on his tray, signaling for him to try it. “Without tasting it, I’d say a nice… light, fruity wine would be good for this.” he suggests before placing the piece of sushi in his mouth. As he chews, his smile widens and he nods in confirmation, adding, “I’d definitely say a nice Pinot Grigio would go great with this. The sweet and light notes of the Pinot Grigio would go really well with the flavors here.”
You’re not going to lie to yourself; it’s a little attractive to see him talk about something he knows so much about. 
“Yeah?” you hum. “What about yours?”
“Oh, Pinot Noir, for sure. It’s sharp enough to match the heaviness of the salmon, but not too sweet where it takes away from the overall flavor.”
You nod, taking in the information and secretly composing yourself as your insides squeal girlishly at his confident explanation.
“That’s pretty cool, Haechan,” you remark, impressed, and he smiles in satisfaction.
“Isn’t it? You know, we should go on a wine tasting date some time.” he suggests, and you shoot him a suspicious side glance.
“A wine tasting what?” you press.
“Did I say date?” Haechan asks with a chuckle, and you nod slowly, still regarding him carefully. “I meant outing. A wine tasting outing.”
“Nice save,” you snort, and he huffs petulantly.
“It’s not my fault,” he defends himself. ‘I was distracted.”
You raise an eyebrow skeptically. “Distracted?” you ask, and he nods firmly.
“Yeah, your little skirt is messing with my head.” Haechan grunts, and you look down at your lap with a bewildered questioning noise.
To be fair, it is a cute skirt; your beige and black plaid pleated skirt was carefully selected from your closet earlier and clearly must have been a flattering choice, given that Haechan literally can’t keep his eyes off of you.
“Then look up and not at my legs, silly.”
“But if I look up, I see—” he starts to complain but stops as he does just that, looking up from his—well, your—lap and trailing off slowly as he gazes at you.
You’re pretty sure you don’t need to hear what he was going to say, because his face reads loud and clear; there’s desire swimming clearly in his gaze and his lips are parted ever so slightly as he spaces out staring back and forth from your lips to your eyes.
“If you look up, you see… my face?” you supply in an attempt to help him regain his sensibility, and his lips part more as he struggles to find the right words. “I mean, yeah, and my shirt? Well, it’s a white tank—like, yeah, it’s a little short, but—and this is just a beige cardigan, so it’s not as distracting if you look up instead—”
“If I look up,” Haechan says carefully, “I see you.”
For a moment, you’re rendered speechless as the implications of his words sink in.
Looking at him again, you realize there’s an awe in his eyes as he watches you, an adoration almost, and the context of him seeing you sets in. His eyes rove over your face with an almost greed, darting around rapidly as he frantically takes in every detail he can manage to commit to memory. 
He’s not looking at you like he’s undressing you, like he’s groping you with a glance; he’s looking at you like you’re one of the seven wonders of the world—like he can’t quite contemplate everything he’s seeing, but he’s damn sure going to try. His gaze caresses you like you’re an antique artifact at the museum that could break if you so much as stare at it too hard.
Observing the way he looks at you is the closest you’ve come yet to understanding how and why the eyes have been referred to as the windows to the soul. His gaze is so open, so vulnerable and wondrous that you have to ponder, for a moment, if this is what it looks like to fall in love.
You push the thought from your head as soon as it emerges, not willing to give it any space in your mind, but you can’t shake the way his gaze completely unravels you. 
He watches you like he can see every complexity of your personality in your pores; like he can see your unspoken words reflected in the gloss on your lips—like your eyes hold the manuscript of your hopes and dreams and he’s about to pore over it, memorizing it down to the letter.
He looks at you like he’s dangerously close to seeing you; you, past your barriers and caution tape; you, with all your intricacies and contradictions; and you, with all the hope and yearning and vulnerability you’ve had since your youth that you’ve been trying to convince everyone is no longer around. 
You’re utterly overwhelmed with all the thoughts swimming in your brain at the moment, and one thought swims up to the forefront, displaying itself loud and clear and unignorable. 
He looks at you like he’s falling in love.
“Haechan, please stop looking at me like that,” you beg in a whisper, scared to speak any louder in case your voice trembles. Something about the intensity of his gaze is beautiful and terrifying all at once, and you’re not ready for him to see you unraveled like this.
Haechan must be able to sense the panic in your voice, your underlying fear of being truly seen and known undoubtedly ringing out in the silence between you two, because he smiles reassuringly and relents, softening the intensity of his gaze until he’s displaying nothing more than mild curiosity and fascination.
“Thanks.” you mutter shyly, averting your gaze to inspect your cuticles in a feeble attempt to act natural.
“No problem. Can I say something, though?” he asks, and you nod, internally bracing yourself. “Have you heard of twin flames?”
“Yeah, isn’t that like soulmates, kinda?” you reply.
something about him was made for somebody like me baby, come over, come over and god knows i’m trying, but there’s just no use in denying
“Kinda,” he says slowly. “Some people call them ‘mirror souls,’” he explains. “Essentially, they’re two people with an intense soul connection that makes them complete when they’re together.”
You pout thoughtfully. “Like two halves of a whole?”
“Something like that, yeah,” he agrees. “The term ‘mirror souls’ is a bit more fitting, because they complement each other; they’re opposites in crucial ways, but in ways that could either ruin things or make them work really well together.”
”Okay,” you say carefully. “Well, thanks for the mini lesson. Why’d you bring that up?”
“I feel drawn to you.” he explains in a rush, almost like he’s been waiting for the opportunity to say it. “Like, I can’t explain it, but when I first met you, I felt—I don’t know—something.”
“I’d wager that the something you felt was just the blood rushing down to your d—” you remark dryly, but he cuts you off, shaking his head. 
“It wasn’t.” he insists. “I felt a connection. And you felt it too—remember?”
“No,” you lie. You remember all too well, actually. 
“You flirted with me.” he reminds you with a triumphant grin, and you frown. 
“That was before I found out you were dating my friend!”
“So the connection magically went away? Hm? The initial attraction you had to me just vanished into thin air?” he presses.
“I locked it in a closet.” you admit. “It can’t come out.”
“Well, unlock it.”
“I have swallowed the key.” you reply stubbornly.
“Well, I’m picking the lock.” he counters, and you gape at him indignantly.
“You can’t do that!”
“And why not?”
“You have a girlfriend.” you remind him, and he has the audacity to scoff and roll his eyes, making you gasp in horror. “Ooh, I’m telling.”
“Who cares about that?” he asks, waving a hand dismissively.
“Um, gee, I would wager that your girlfriend does.” you reply sarcastically. “And you should care, too.”
“All that yapping—”
“I know this boy did not just say I’m yapping—”
“—and you still didn’t say that you care.” he finishes, and you stop short, blinking at him in surprise. “Gotcha.”
“Oh, shut up,” you groan. “I’m not your girlfriend, you know—I don’t have to put up with this.”
“Do you want to be her?” he asks, and you freeze, staring at him incredulously.
“No? I barely know you, and from what I do know, you like stepping out on your girlfriend.”
“False. I don’t like to step out on my girlfriend,” he corrects you, and you roll your eyes. “I just like you.”
“Stop saying that.” you warn.
“I mean it.” he says simply.
“You’re gonna get us in trouble if you keep talking like that.” you reply nervously.
“The risk is so worth it though, don’t you think?” he murmurs conspiratorially, and you stare at him blankly.
”No.” you reply flatly, entirely unamused.
Haechan pouts—somehow handsomely—and nudges you with his shoulder, saying, “Come on… try living a little.” 
“No.”
”You know you want to.” he coaxes, and you grumble unintelligibly under your breath.
”What I want is for you to drop the subject,” you say, batting your lashes at him for the effect. “Pretty please?”
His gaze darkens slightly. “Beg again.”
“I didn’t beg!” you splutter, both indignant and flustered by the shift in the air. “I requested politely.” 
“Well, request politely again. You’re really cute when you do that, you know.”
”And on that note, this conversation is over. Now,” you say slowly, patting your lap and nudging him with your shoulder. “I think we should probably get back. Y’know… before they notice we went missing.”
“I guess you’re right,” Haechan agrees with a reluctant sigh, gathering your and his food containers and standing up. “Lead the way, princess.”
“Don’t call me that,” you whisper loudly, and he grins cheekily as you two make your way to exit the museum café.
“Stop liking it and I’ll stop doing it.” He retorts, stopping in front of you suddenly so you bump into him. 
“Haechan!” you can’t help but laugh at his refreshingly playful nature, and he looks over at you with a twinkle in his eyes. “Has anyone ever told you you’re kind of a brat?”
“Yes, actually.” he replies thoughtfully. “But it takes one to know one.”
You stop short and he turns back to look at you curiously. “Are you calling me a brat?”
“Yes,” he replies easily with a smile. “Yes, I am.” And before you can retaliate, he’s speed walking towards the garbage to throw out your waste, stopping just in front of the exit to wait for you. When you get closer, still staring at him with narrowed eyes, he shoots you a dazzling smile and opens the door, holding it for you.
”Ladies first.”
“Oh, now you’re a gentleman.”
“What do you mean, ‘now?’” Haechan replies, shocked. “I let you sit first, I held the door for you, I threw out your garbage for you and paid—”
“Which you definitely shouldn’t have done, by the way.” you interject, and he stares blankly at you. “Don’t get me wrong, my wallet and I appreciate you greatly, but I was more than capable of paying for myself.”
“It’s okay,” he muses lightheartedly, shrugging. “You can just make it up to me sometime.”
You pause, staring at him suspiciously. “And how would I do that?”
“I’ll come up with something,” he replies with a small secretive smile. 
“I don’t like the sound of that.” you say slowly, and he laughs, throwing his arm around your shoulders goodnaturedly. 
“It won’t be anything drastic,” he assures you. “Just something like… a kiss.”
“A kiss?” you splutter, and he grins, nodding. “You’d better be joking.”
He turns his head towards you, tightening his grip around your neck not enough to be overbearing but just enough to prevent you from turning your face away. “And what if I’m not?” His voice softens as he continues, “Hm?”
A long silence passes between you two—far longer than socially acceptable—during which Haechan stares pointedly at your mouth and you attempt to avoid doing the same. After what feels like ages, you break the tension-laden quiet by clearing your throat and walking forward and out of his embrace.
“You’re dangerous, you know that?” you say over your shoulder, and Haechan chuckles as he catches up to you.
“I do.” he replies simply, and you snort. He leans over, bringing his lips to your ear, and murmurs, “And I think you like it.”
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TA DA!!!!! i hope you enjoyed your read! the second part will be up in exactly two weeks! reminder that (only if you’re able) tips are very much appreciated, as is positive feedback! if you’d like to be added to the taglist, just shoot me an ask and please make sure your privacy settings are updated accordingly!
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luvsupa · 4 days
Text
tags: gojo x fem!reader, ex relationship, fluff, angst, takes place after battle w sukuna (he wins), sad ending, mentions of blood, gojo’s lowkey depressed w.c: 1k
a/n: sorry this just came out of nowhere </3
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“satoru?” you call out, squinting through the bustling sidewalks of downtown tokyo, trying to confirm if it’s really him. he turns at the sound of your voice, removing one of his earbuds, his heart flipping as he sees you—this isn’t a dream. you’re really here.
it’s been a little over a year since you two broke up. despite the deep love you shared, the relationship was suffocating. you couldn’t stand watching him come home exhausted and scarred, sometimes with blood on his clothes from the dangerous missions. it hurt too much to see him treated like a weapon instead of the person he is. you begged him to leave jujutsu tech, pleading with him day and night to escape the pain that you couldn’t bear to witness.
but the final straw was that night—when he came home, slashes across his body, his clothes torn and bloodied. watching him limp from your shared apartment to the bathroom made your heart shatter. “i’m okay,” he reassured you, but you knew he was on the verge of passing out, desperately hiding his pain from you. he couldn’t let you, his sweet sweet baby, see him in this state.
“‘toru, it’s either you leave that company or i’m leaving,” you cried, your heart clenching at the thought. his identity was tied to saving non-cursed users, but without that, who was he? he stared at you in silence, and you already knew his answer. you packed your things, his tear-filled eyes followed you from the bathroom, silently apologizing for the pain he couldn’t escape.
seeing him now, you can’t help but smile, even as the memories flood back. he looks healthier, but the scars on his face are constant reminders of his battles. “i—how are you?” he stutters, still in shock.
“g-good. how’ve you been?” you reply, your heart sinking at how tired he looks.
“pretty good too,” he says, scratching the back of his head, revealing the scars on his hands. “wanna grab some coffee? there’s a shop down the street.” your eyes widen, and you nod, a mix of excitement and dread swirling inside you.
as you walk side by side, the energy between you feels familiar yet fragile. you chat about the beauty of the night, pointing out flashy sports cars.
inside the café, you sit across from each other, getting a good view of the outside. he returns with two coffees, and you thank him for paying, though you’d always insist on paying- he declined, he never let you pay for anything when you were together.
“have you left yet?” you ask, your voice trembling as you prepare for the inevitable conversation.
“heh, does it look like I’ve left?” he jokes, gesturing to his tired eyes. you wrap your hands around your cup, feeling the warmth seep into your cold fingers. silence falls between you, heavy with unspoken words.
“i miss yo—”
“i have a girlfriend.”
his words hit you like a punch to the gut. a girlfriend? your heart drops as your expression falters. why does it hurt so much?
“y-yeah, i’m seeing someone too,” you blurt out, hating yourself for the lie. the laughter that follows feels hollow, and he can see right through you.
“baby, you’re such a bad liar—” he catches himself, the pet name easily slipping past his lips. both of you stare at each other widened eyes as he mistakenly slipped up by calling you baby. he really didn’t mean to! suddenly, the air is thick with tension. you both giggle awkwardly, but inside, it tears at you—how much you miss hearing him call you that.
“if i were your girlfriend, i’d kill you for catching up with your ex and calling her baby,” you joke, but his expression remains serious. not a smile nor a chuckle, making your heart race. have you upset him?
“i mean, you were my girl,” he says, and your mind spins. my girl. you can’t help but pout, taking a sip of your coffee, your gaze drifting outside to the busy streets.
just then, his phone buzzes loudly, drawing your attention. you catch a glimpse of “A♡” on the screen. gojo’s expression shifts as he reads the message, a sadness settling over him. he has to cut your time short. you silently whine as the two of you rise from your chairs, cleaning up any mess as you both head out to leave in opposite directions.
but he stops you. his warm hands enveloping yours. “w-when can i see you again?” he stutters, his voice laced with desperation. your heart races, wanting to cry, to leap into his arms and confess your love, but that’s not an option.
“i’ll see you around, ‘toru,” you say, forcing a warm smile. rising on your tiptoes, you place a soft kiss on his cheek as he blushed hard. he tenses, the longing evident in his eyes as he fights the urge to pull you close, hugging you and kissing you as if you were his again.
“and treat your girlfriend nice,” you add, turning to walk away. each step feels heavier as a lump forms in your throat, fighting back the tears threatening to spill.
“will do,” he calls after you, trying to sound upbeat. but as he walks away, his eyes glisten, filled with unfallen tears. oh, how he misses you.
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graveyard-stray · 9 months
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Me or Her. || Thomas Shelby x f!Reader
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Summary: All your life you’ve loved Tommy, and you finally thought he loved you too. But then, Grace came along and had to ruin everything.
(No hate to Grace. She slays. This is all just for story purposes)
Word Count: 2.5K
Tags: Angst + Fluff, unrequited love, jealousy, Smut. Dom!Tommy, Praise, dirty talk?, Grinding/Dry humping, Lowkey rough sex, loving tho, P in V sex, little bit of oral, lowkey desperate tommy and reader. No use of Y/N!!
A/N: Not proofread! Dont crucify me please…😰
“What is your god damn issue?” Tommy asked you, a frustrated expression on his face. You had run off during the large event the Peaky Blinders were currently hosting.
Ya see Tommy was your boyfriend, or something of the sort- as Tommy wasn’t the kind of guy you really would call a boyfriend. But none the less you were involved and had been for quite some time.
The way you felt about him was strong and undeniable. You had been in love with him for years, you never thought he felt the same. You felt even more sure of that when you saw him with Grace. You could tell clearly there was romance between them, a certain spark. It broke your heart but you would of course pretend to be happy for them.
But, after she had gone to New York you finally had your chance. After some time Tommy finally took some notice to you. It didn’t take too long for you two to start being…involved. Sleeping together, going to all the important events together, spending nights together at his place, the whole nine yards. Everything couples would do.
But the night of this party, no different than the others, who would walk through the door? Grace.
your heart sinks as you see her walking into the party, dressed beautifully and looking around clearly searching for something- or someone.
You moved closer to Tommy’s side and grabbed onto his arm, staying almost attached to him. He didn’t mind of course, simply continuing on with his conversations and dealings.
Out of the corner of your eye you saw Grace coming over, in an attempt to make it clear what you and Tommy were you put your face in the crook of his neck, kissing him softly. He didn’t react but, you hadnt expected him too. That wasn’t the goal. The goal was to make Grace back off.
But, Grace came over anyway. Interjecting into Tommy’s conversation. The look on his face when he saw her shattered your heart. A mix of surprise and pleasure in seeing her. She asked to speak to him alone and he agreed, he told you to stay where you were and he would be back soon but you just couldn’t. As soon as he went to walk off with her you left the party, ran off to the room you were staying in to cry.
That’s how you got where you were now. Arguing with Tommy in the room that you so often shared.
“What is your god damn issue?” He was scowling at you as you looked at him with a mixture of anger and sadness on your face. “My issue? Your the one who went off with that whore!” You snapped back at him, your voice breaking from your crying.
He scoffed, “is that really what this is about? I was just talking to her calm the fuck down.” He scolded, still clearly annoyed at your reaction.
You stood up and got closer to him, “Oh please Tommy, I’m not blind! I saw the way you looked at her when you saw her. So glad she was back from New York. I mean come on- I just….” You explained, trailing off at the end trying to find the words.
“You just what? Spit it out.” He said demanding, looking down at you as he stepped closer to you, you could feel his breathe on your face. “I just thought you loved ME, Tommy.” You said, coldly. “Bloody hell, your being ridiculous. I do!” He responded, turning around and putting some space between the two of you.
You stayed in your spot glaring at him, new tears pricking your eyes. “No you don’t. You love her. You always have and I should’ve opened my fucking eyes sooner! I should’ve known you would never love me like you love her!” You barked at him, those new hot tears now falling down your cheeks.
“I do! Just calm down and listen to me when I say that I do!” Tommy repeated, an evident tone of annoyance in his words. “Then say it.” You said, wiping the tears from your face.
He looked confused for a moment, “say what exactly?” He questioned honestly, but with his same strong and cold tone.
“Say that you love me. I know you’ve said it to her before so your bloody capable of it. So, if you really do love me, then SAY IT.” You demanded, sternly looking him right in the eyes. Most men you knew didn’t dare look at him in the eyes, but you weren’t scared of him. No matter what.
“Your being insane, I just said it!” He defended, his tone still cold but there was a clear look of searching in his eyes. Like he was struggling to find the right words to say, to find the right way to express what he wanted to. But his avoidance of doing what you asked was a very clear answer to you.
You kept your eyes glued to his and just shook your head disapprovingly, “Whatever Tommy. I can’t keep fucking doing this, I was gonna tell you to choose between me or her but it seems you already have.” The words were like venom leaving your lips. You turned to walk towards the door, your heels clacking on the floor with every step.
Before you could go the sound of Tommy’s voice registered in your mind. It was softer now and more sincere than before. “I love you.” he said, making you stop in your tracks but not yet turn to face him. “I love you so much and it scares the shit out of me.” He confessed.
You turned on your heels to face him, “what do you mean? Why does it scare you?” you asked sincerely, the look in your eyes softer now, and more sympathetic.
“After what happened with Grace? Why the hell wouldn’t I be frightened. I didn’t wanna put myself out there again just for ya to bloody leave as soon as things got good, or worse for you to be put in danger cause of me.” Tommy explained, looking away from your gaze.
He felt your soft hand on his cheek, his rough skin contrasting your own. He looked at you and quickly plunged his lips onto yours. You were a bit taken aback but quickly reciprocated.
The kiss was deep and passionate but also had an energy of desperation in it. Tommy wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him, your body flush against his own.
It didn’t take long for the kiss to develope into his tongue exploring your mouth, heavy breathing and soft, muffled, moans filling the otherwise silent room. Tommy eventually grabbed you a bit roughly and pushed you down onto the bed, crawling over so he was hovering above you, doing his best not to break the kiss in the process.
Your hands found his hair and you pulled it softly, how you knew he liked, and he groaned softly into your mouth. He ground his hips against yours, his clothed crotch rubbing against yours, which was also still covered by your formal party wear.
Tommy continued to softly grind against you for a moment as the kiss continued hastily, before you pulled away to whine, “Tommy. Need you.” is all you could muster out, the feeling of desperation making you practically squirm beneath him.
He just nodded before sitting you up and pulling your dress up and over your head with ease. You felt the cold air hit your now almost bare upper body and you could feel your nipples harden under the fabric of your bra.
You felt his mouth attach to your neck, kissing and sucking on the skin softly as his hands snaked around your back and undid your bra quickly, it was pretty clear he was experienced with this but you tried to ignore that fact as it is kinda related to what started the argument to begin with.
His lips continued to kiss and nip at the skin of your neck, shoulders, and collarbone before you placed your hands on his chest and started gently tugging at his suit jacket, attempting to get it off. He chuckled and pulled away, quickly taking off his jacket as you worked to unbutton his shirt. It wasn’t long before his top was also completely bare.
Tommy took this time to admire you, his eyes trailing down your neck and shoulders seeing the marks he left they would definitely be noticed tomorrow, and then to your breasts. He smiled a bit and kissed right above your chest before looking back up at you.
“s’beautiful” Tommy mumbled before putting his hand on your cheek and pulling you into another heated kiss. His other hand now groping your boob, causing you to moan into the kiss and grind your hips up into nothing.
He noticed your actions and chuckled, “someone’s needy.” He teased and you nodded quickly. “Let me show you how much I love you.” He whispered softly into your ear as he laid you back down on the bed, placing a pillow underneath your back to make you more comfortable.
His hands slid down your sides, eventually reaching your panties and pulling them down your legs. He leaned down and kissed your clit softly before licking a stripe up your cunt. “Fuckin’ delicious” he practically moaned before coming up and kissing you again so you could taste yourself on him.
your hands reached down and messed with the waistband of his pants making him chuckle once more, “So desperate, So needy, it’s adorable.” Tommy sweetly. “Just need you so bad Tommy. So pretty…want you.” You praised him as your hand cupped his cheek and you kissed his lips softly. “Please” you practically begged.
A smiled played on his lips as he undid his belt and unbuttoned his trousers. “How can I say no to that beautiful face?” He whispered.
It wasn’t long at all before he had taken himself out of his boxers and was lining up with your entrance. He smiled down at you reassuringly “you ready love?” he asked, he would ask if you were ready when he was feeling extra loving, because he was generally quite large and he knew this- so he wanted to make sure. You simply nodded and this enabled him to slowly push inside of you.
The soft hiss that left your mouth soon turned into a pleasurable moan as he pushed inside of you until he was all the way in. He looked down at where you were connected and groaned, titling his head back. “Fuck baby. You take me so well.” He praised sweetly.
after just a moment of letting you adjust he started moving in and out. His pace started off slow, pulling out a bit and slowly easing back inside as far as he could go. But the pleasure was just so good as he slowly fucking into you, he needed more.
“So good f’me. Taking me nice and slow.” He praised once more. Starting to slowly pick up speed. You nodded, as any time you tried to speak the words became muffled by moans and whines.
“More..please.” You were able to mumble out, a whiney and desperate tone in your voice. Tommy groaned and bit his lip at hearing you beg for more of him like that. “If you insist sweetheart.” He responds rather quietly before picking up the pace.
He steadily builds up speed till he is at the point where he is quickly pulling all the way out just to thrust back into you as deep as he can before pulling out and doing it again and again. The room is filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin. Your moans and mumbles and his quiet groans accompanying them.
You could feel yourself getting closer to your climax, and he could too as your walls began to clench around him causing him to let out another moan. “Fuck.” he moaned under his breathe. “I’m close sweetheart.” Tommy said quickly, his hips still pistoning into you.
“Me too.” You moaned back, your head nodding feverishly. The feeling in your lower stomach was burning and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.
What finally threw you over the edge was when his hand went down and found your clit, rubbing quickly circles onto it. The sensation of his rough calloused fingers on your sensitive clit, combined with him roughly fucking into you was enough to have you coming undone.
You squirmed beneath him as your walls clenched around him and you came while moaning his name loudly, causing him to let out another deep moan. “Fuck. Yes cum all over my cock. Good girl.” Tommy muttered as he kept pushing in and out of you. As you rode out of your high you grabbed his face in your hands, “cum inside. Please.” You asked him, a desperate look in your eyes.
This alone was enough to send him over the edge. He nodded as his hips stuttered and in just a few more thrusts he was filling you up, spilling his seed inside of you, this just caused another moan of his name to fall from your lips.
As he came you could hear him mumbling, “fuck. So good. Love you. Love you so much.” Where all the words falling from his beautiful mouth as he came inside of you.
You both took a moment to catch your breathes before he carefully slid out of you, causing an involuntary and sorta strange noise to leave you. He got up and kissed your forehead before grabbing a damp towel and using it to clean you off gently, dabbing your skin with the nice cool water.
After he finished cleaning you he climbed back in bed, still naked and pulled you into him. You snuggled close and rested your head on his chest. You two just sat there for a moment. Enjoying each other.
“I love you so much.” Were the words he said to break the silence. “And if it takes me never so much as looking at Grace again to make you happy then I will do it.” He promised, kissing the top of your head gently.
You leaned your head a bit and placed a soft kiss on his chest. “Thank you. I love you too.” You said dreamily, snuggling closer into him.
He wrapped both arms around you and held you close. You both had honestly forgotten about the party that was still going on downstairs. You couldn’t seem to care as you just held each other and enjoyed each other presence.
You fell asleep together that night, both naked and holding one another. The next morning when You and Tommy went to go get breakfast and were once again interrupted by Grace who attempted to speak him. Tommy just continued talking to you. He didn’t even look at her.
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ruruvxz · 1 month
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hello! new reader here. i think hanni would write romantic love songs!
“My Dearest Clementine”
Hanni Pham x fem!reader
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↳ synopsis: You and your overachieving (ex)girlfriend broke up, but little did you know, she still hasn't gotten over her little clementine. And what's better than food to get into a woman's heart? A good serenade.
↳ cw: foul mouth reader, reader once again is lowkey so mean, breakup, established relationship, comfort, fluff
↳ word count: 2.1k
a/n: omg my first ever anon, im tweaking out, but i agree she definitely would make/cover love songs about reader. and she’d put her whole heart into the performances too… she’s such a cutie pie nfgagggghhhhhh fun fact this was originally a jihyo fic but then i thought really hard, and decided on not making it about her. oh and this is song is clementine by grant perez heheheheh
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Skimming through the channels, you really couldn't help but be so agitated by everyone broadcasting this god-awful music show. "God, do these people only watch one thing, and why does it have to be music shows of all things?" You huffed to yourself, whilst aggressively mashing the poor remote. To be honest you'd be the first one to admit that you did enjoy all the award shows and music festivals. Hell, you've even been to your fair share, but do all these channels have to screen the same thing?
It's been the same MAMA award show on almost every channel, even networks that talked about important news, couldn't help but talk about it. Almost as if there wasn't anything else of importance to speak about, making your blood boil even more at the thought.
However, your visceral hatred for music programs wasn't always like this, well, not before at least. You used to adore watching the latest performances, always admiring the work put into performing on stage. It came to the point where you'd buy tickets for venues near your apartment. Despite not always recognizing everyone performing, you'd always sit through every performance, all the while waiting for that one special person to take the stage. Embarrassingly your true intentions were to go watch your then-girlfriend, Hanni, and cheer her on from the sidelines.
That was before, and now, the one who you called your one true love, had just recently shattered your heart into pieces because of work.
All the memories of her loving presence came back flooding into your mind, like how she'd escape practice using Minji's help just to find herself wrapped around your arms. Everything was just too much, the fact she would leave you to save face just enraged you further. "Argh! I am not about to reopen old wounds! Leave me alone you— minx!" You yelled at the screen, before throwing profanity after profanity, like some madwoman trying to stop the voices in her head. At this point, your neighbors were on the verge of sending a wellness check to the apartment.
Your rage was at a tipping point when you saw her gorgeous face popping up on the screen. You held up the remote, ready to shatter the poor television by projectile throwing the remote at the screen. It wasn't until your phone started vibrating erratically that snapped you out of your female rage. Holding your hand out and snatching the phone from the coffee table, you put the speaker to your ear.
"Yeah? Who is this?" You asked curiously, taking a mental note of how the caller's number looked eerily familiar, summing it up to being a coworker.
"Hey, I know we aren't close, but my friend needs a favor." The woman on the other side spoke with a soft and soothing voice, it sounded familiar, though the loud sounds of chanting made it hard to decipher who was on the other end. Thinking for a moment, you took your gaze out from the phone and to the television screen, biting your teeth as you saw New Jeans without Hanni nor Danielle. Sighing in relief you didn't have to see your stunningly aggravating ex-girlfriend.
Still reminiscing about all the times she's carefully and delicately peeled various fruits for you to eat without you even asking. You started to drift off thinking of ways to get her back, before snapping out of your pitiful daydreams, just to respond to the woman on the phone. "Uhm, not to sound round or anything, but who is this? I mean I'd love to do you a favor but—" You rightfully questioned, since this was just such a perplexing thing to ask someone, especially since you had no memory of them.
"Listen I’m…a friend of a friend...?" She spoke unsurely.
"Look, I'm really busy at the moment, I've got a maximum of 30 seconds before the next song starts..." The woman spoke, while you sat there still trying to puzzle together who she was. "It's just, my friend REALLY—" she exasperated the 'really' as much as her voice could. "Wants you to watch the MAMA performance today."
"What... I'm sorry, with all due respect, that's such an odd demand. I must emphasize that I don't know you, and you're not making the effort to state who you are." You commanded at the mic before the call closed, the woman on the other end not wanting to argue with you.
Before you could interrogate me further, the speakers connected to the television erupted loudly with my nose, the screams and praises abundantly clear. And of all the songs it could blast powerfully loud, it was "How Sweet" by NewJeans, but all that you could notice was Danielle throwing the phone to one of the staff before her muscle memory pushed through. (And that Hanni, who was previously sitting perfectly fine with the other members wasn't going to perform the song with them.)
As quickly as you comprehend the song was playing, you put down the volume to a bearable state. Admittedly you still felt a bit creeped out by that call, but then again compared to the phone calls and letters you received from crazed lovers, it wasn't the worst thing you've gotten.
Suddenly a sinister realization hit you, other than working, you didn't do much during your day off, only thing mildly interesting happening today on my day off was this fuck ass show. And if that caller's so-called "friend" wanted you to watch the performances, you'd do just that. So that's how you decided that you'd spend your precious time letting out your toxic rage on these performances in the comfort of your own home.
The time flew so quickly, and most if not all the artists were so enjoyable, but then, the performance you had dreaded the most was about to happen. However, a part of you was quite ecstatic to watch that dreadfully alluring woman fail miserably on stage. (But be honest, Hanni never does, she always looks perfect doing what she loves, not the mention how elegant she sounds when she sings.)
"God Hanni, even till this day you're insufferable. Fuck." You screeched, as the painfully beautiful memories of her flooded your brain, while all you could do was continue to shove chips into my mouth, eating them up with a bittersweet rage. But with your prior knowledge, before the performance started, the artists were given about a 10-minute break to get all the equipment and stage ready. So you were left with your heart racing inside your chest.
After a dreadful wait, you watched as the dim lights began to slowly light the stage with a warm spotlight, and the LED backboard displayed a beautiful orange orchard. It took you aback since Hanni’s most recent solo tracks never mentioned anything about flowers or fruits. You hated to admit that no matter what you still supported her career to the bitter end of your relationship, so every little detail about her was engraved into your mind. But oh hell, if it's a mess up, even better for you right?
"Ah, hello everybody. I hope you've been enjoying the performances today. Everyone is so good!—" Hanni spoke, the crowd roared at her words, and the camera flashed to her coworkers smiling proudly at her words.
"I understand everyone wants my more recent solo songs, but I wanted to showcase a new song. I made it about someone close to me." She continued, while even more mental anguish bubbled up inside your head by how she spoke so softly about the song, and how you assumed she moved on so quickly.
"I hope you all will enjoy this performance." That was the last thing she said before the backtrack began to play. It was a gentle stroke of a guitar before the other members of the band continued to play to the rhythm. The song continued as you leaned closer into the TV, using your remote to turn up the music playing from the speakers.
“Color it gray...” She sang, your heart thumping out of your chest, your mind drifting to the moments leading to your eventual fallout.
“Until I forget you
Like I never met you” The memory of her pleading you to forget about whatever connection you both shared because she didn’t want to drag your career down. Her tears still linger in your mind.
“My dearest, my dearest Clementine” She continued, looking back at the first time she ever spoke so dearly about you, using ‘Clementine’ as a term of endearment because you both cringed at the thought of calling each other ‘baby’ or anything of that sort.
“Color it gray
Until I forget you
Like I never met you”
“My dearest Clementine”
“Throw it away
But close enough to you” Her voice strained by her sorrow.
“Cause although I hate you
I will still fall in love, my Clementine”
“Every time, always”
“No matter how hard I try”
“My Clementine, every time”
You're always on my mind” She ended, fixing her gaze to the camera, looking longingly, as if she was looking at something— no someone through the screen.
You watched in disbelief as she closed up her performance, and walked off the stage, still wearing the matching dragonfruit and orange necklace you bought together. It was a few minutes sitting in utter bewilderment before getting a call on your cellphone. All you could do is weakly pick it up, while still being in complete shock at what you just watched, and without checking the contact you forced yourself to speak up, "Uh..." with a very long pause, you resumed "Hello."
"Clementine!" The voice on the other line spoke loudly, there was no other person who called me that sickening nickname other than the one and only Hanni Pham.
"I thought I blocked you!" You shouted defensively at your phone trying to get this woman to hang up.
"Yeah! But you never blocked Danielle since she never really messaged you, haha!"
"Just leave me alone you freak!" You argued loudly, "I'm hanging up on you Han—" Before you could press, block caller, you heard her scream from the other side.
"No wait!"
"You saw my performance right?"
"Uhm... I wouldn't say I didn't." You awkwardly admitted, still trying to avoid answering her questions.
You sat in awkward silence for a while before she spoke again, "Please, I know you— we weren't the most mature people, but please give me one more chance. I know I shouldn't be asking you on the phone…” You hear a faint sigh before Hanni carries on with her whole speech. “but I don't know any other way to contact you without you running in the opposite direction."
Rolling your eyes behind the phone, you took in a deep breath and analyzed the situation before making a very calm, calculated response. "No! Die in a ditch, Hanni! You dumped me! Then made a song with my nickname and aired it out to everyone!"
"No! No! No wait! Please! Clementine! That's the only way to get through to you! Please Y/N, I wouldn't be begging like this for anyone else."
"Ugh... fine! We'll talk about this later once you're done with work alright? Besides you shouldn't be stressed during award shows, it shows."
"Really?!" She questioned, a bit shocked that you would even give her the time of day.
"Yeah, whatever, don't overwork yourself."
"Thank you so much, I promise I won't, thanks for caring so much, even with everything I’ve done."
"Yeah yeah, you know my place, I'll cook something up, and bring you comfortable clothes, because I'm going to give you a piece of my mind."
"I should've expected that, don't worry, we'll talk, I promise, I’ll listen to whatever you have to say— and I promise I won’t make any more stupid decisions."
"Sure."
"I never break my promises clementine."
"Just— go back to work, Hanni! You're pissing me off, your sweet talk won't work on me this time, I'm gonna beat your ass no matter what."
"It was worth the try." She laughed before hanging up the phone, you swore you were gonna kill her when she came back home. But for now, you forced yourself off the couch and prepared everything for her arrival, after all, she never broke her promises.
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Breakup Help (Chris)
Request: None (Reupload of the second fic I ever wrote and it’s lowkey shit)
Warnings: Friends to lovers, slight angst, insecure Chris, minimal degradation, eating out, basic sex
Y/n’s pov
About two weeks ago Chris’ girlfriend of two years cheated on him with his good friend and unfortunately, Chris walked in on them fucking. It had completely broke his heart, he’s been depressed and hasn’t left his room in days, he just cries and gets mad at his brothers for trying to make him eat a real meal. Matt had called me asking if I would go over and try to talk to Chris and cheer him up since I’m his best friend.
I agreed to go over since Matt and Nick were going to be staying at Madis for the night, needing to have a meeting with Laura anyways. I got my stuff together and went to the store to get Chris a Pepsi, goldfish and a monkey stuffed animal before heading to their house. I used my key to open the door, immediately going down to Chris’ room only to hear him crying really hard.
I knocked on the door softly “Hey buddy, can you unlock the door so I can come in please?” I spoke in a soft voice trying to be comforting. “No go away” his voice cracked as he responded, “Please Chris? I wanna give you a hug and I have something for you” I pleaded. After a loud sigh, Chris unlocked the door and I let myself in, he looked like hell, his hair was a mess, he hadn’t shaved in a few days, and had red eyes with massive bags underneath, I felt bad for him. I set the stuff I brought him on his desk and threw my bag and shoes on the floor before making my way over to the sad boy on his bed. I sat down, pulling him into a tight hug, rubbing his back as he clung onto me and cried.
“Why would they do this to me? Am I really that disposable that they can just move on and forget about me?” he cried out as he pulled away to look at me “No you’re not, you’re a great person and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend or boyfriend, I’m sorry they did that” I said as I moved his hair out of his face. “S-she said I di-didn’t make her feel good and-d I have a small dick! B-but she always acted like it felt g-good! And s-said I was a ba-bad kisser. They both called me super ugly too” He spoke softly, stuttering over his words as he looked down with tears still streaming down his face.
“Awe Chrisy I’m sorry” I laid next to him on the bed as I spoke. “Now I feel really insecure…” he looked up at me with a sad expression, “Y/n do you think I’m ugly?” He questioned, making me give him a small smile. “Absolutely not, you’re very attractive. You have the most beautiful eyes, a stunning smile, perfect hair, the cutest little freckles, a very charming personality, the prettiest lips, really nice hands, should I continue?” A light blush spread across his face as I complimented him. “You think I have pretty lips and nice hands?” He questioned with a small smirk “Is that all you got from what I just said?” I asked rolling my eyes.
He replied with “No I also got that you think I’m cuuute” cracking a small smile. “Shut up or I’m leaving, you’re never getting complimented again I’ll just say you’re ugly” I rolled my eyes going to get up but he moved to lay on top of me so I couldn’t move and tightly hugged me “NO! I haven’t stopped crying since I caught them, you can’t leave you made me smile!” He said as he hid his face in my neck, “Fine I’ll stay if you get your fat ass off of me” I said pushing him off of me. “Don’t be mean to me, I’m vulnerable” He pouted “You owe me a hug now”
Chris had fallen asleep on me about 30 minutes after I got here but he needed the sleep so I didn’t bother him, a few hours had passed and he had just woken up. “Good morning sleeping beauty” I laughed at him making him whine and move his face away from my neck now laying on his back “Mmm if I’m sleeping beauty then I can’t wake up until I get a true loves kiss” he puckered his lips up and closed his eyes, earning a smack from me “Nice try bud” “It was worth a shot” he laughed.
We decided to watch a movie, Chris munching on the goldfish I brought him, before turning to me “Can I ask you a weird question” he asked earning a nod from me. “Remember what I said earlier?” “You said a lot earlier so you gotta be more specific” “What I said about h/e/n, when she said I was bad in bed” he sighed. “I don’t like where you’re going with this” “Just hear me out, would you um let me like make out with you and give you head? OH, and would you tell me if you think I have a small dick?” He pleaded with me.
I sighed sitting up to look at him “I love you and all but n-“ I didn’t get to finish because he interrupted me. “Before you say no…” He sat up moving his face closer to me, “…can I pleeeeaaaase!? If you don’t like it I’ll stop, I just need feedback on exactly what doesn’t feel good. please, it won’t be weird I promise!” he said, giving me the cutest pout. “Fine only because you look really cute when you make that face” I reluctantly agreed.
Chris pulled off his hoodie and shirt claiming they would make him “too hot” before throwing his blankets off of us sitting on his knees and pulling my face closer to his. I could feel the stubble underneath my fingers when I gently cupped his jaw, his eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips for a second before smashing our lips together. The kiss was hot and needy, Chris’ tongue slid across my bottom lip as he slowly pushed me to lay on my back making me gasp, allowing his tongue slide into my mouth as he moved to hover over me.
My other hand came up to to tread through his hair as his moved to my thigh, I don’t know what h/e/n was talking about when she said he was a bad kisser because that’s most definitely not true. Chris started leaving sloppy, wet kisses down to my neck before sucking deep purple hickies into my skin, pulling away when he heard a small moan come out of me when he sucked on a specific spot. I looked up at him, he was biting his lip looking at me “So how was that?” he asked. “Hmm I think I need one more for good measure” I teased as he smashed our lips together again.
This time he was a lot more rough, slightly sucking on my tongue making me loud out another whiny moan into the kiss. Lightly biting my bottom lip as he pulled away, wearing a cocky smile on his face. “Sooo” “One of the best makeout seshes I’ve ever had, I think you know that” I finally answered “You’re right, I just wanted to hear you say it, pretty. Now can I take off your shirt?” he replied. I just gave him a simple nod, he slid my shirt over my head looking down at my exposed breasts making him groan. He started kissing down my neck again, this time moving lower to leave hickies all over my chest before he wrapped his lips around my left nipple to suck on it, switching to do the same to the right one.
He moved lower, occasionally nipping at the skin of my stomach before he stopped at the waistband of my sweats. He slowly pulled my sweats off and started leaving teasing kisses on my thighs, his hands sliding up my sides as he started slightly sucking hickies into my thighs like he did to the rest of my body. He looked up at me, his eyes now so blown out that there was hardly any blue left, we made eye contact. He pulled away and smirked at me “You’re pretty I hope you know that”
Chris came up to press a soft kiss to my lips “How do you want me to get you wet?” He asked with a light blush across his face. “Just do it however you normally would, okay?” I cupped his face as I spoke, feeling the stubble underneath my fingers. “Okay but if I do that I have to take my pants, is that fine? I’ll still have my boxers on.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “That’s fine but please stop being so nervous bubs, don’t let that stupid bitch get in your head!” I said pushing his hair back, he just nodded and took off his sweats.
Chris kissed me again for the umpteenth time tonight, licking my bottom lip asking for permission as he presses his hips down against mine. He started grinding against me as we made out, one of his hands coming up to grab one of my tits playing with the nipple making me moan. I felt his cock starting to get hard as he gently bit my bottom lip, I threaded my fingers through his hair and lightly tugged on it. I sucked on his tongue a little bit making him groan into the kiss before he started trailing his kisses down my body once again.
He aggressively pulled my panties down and threw them somewhere behind him, groaning when he saw how wet I was. “Damn, I really made you this wet?” he asked running a finger through my folds, I sheepishly nodded. Chris wasted no time, immediately pumping two fingers in me while kissing my thighs. He curled his fingers up, hitting my g-spot making me gasp before he wrapped his lips around my clit. Chris’ tongue started flicking the sensitive bundle of nerves as he kept curling his fingers up, slowly adding a third one. “Fuck Chris if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum” I moaned out, with his free hand Chris took one of my hands and placed it in his hair. I got the hint and started lightly pulling his hair not wanting to hurt him but his free hand came back to mine making my grip on his hair tighter and made me pull harder causing him to let out a groan.
The vibrations from his constant groaning make me get closer to my high, resulting in me placing both hands in his hair. Chris removed his lips from my clit “You like that baby, am I making you feel good?” he asked with a smirk before removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue. “Sooo g-good Chris, gonna make me cum soon” I whined out as I felt my high approaching. Chris’ fingers started rubbing my clit in fast, tight circles, flicking his tongue in and out of my hole faster. “Oh sh-shit Chris, fuck ‘m gonna cum” I loudly moaned, tightly gripping his hair, making him groan, sending me over the edge.
After he had licked up all my cum, Chris hovered over me, his face shiny and covered in my cum. “So was it any good?” He asked with a cocky smile, already knowing the answer “You taste so good by the way, I might’ve just found my new favorite meal” he said winking. “Very good, the only thing that could make it better would be if you make out with me again” I responded while biting my lip. Chris came closer to my face so that our lips were almost touching “That can be arranged” he said before smashing his lips against mine, pressing his hips against mine once again, fully hard this time.
I grinded my hips up against his making him let out a loud groan “Fuck Y/n/n don’t do that, I’m already hard, I don’t need you making me hornier. It’s already gonna suck trying to ignore it, so d-don’t do tha- sh-shit” As he spoke I trailed my hand down his chest to his cock, giving it a squeeze. “Why don’t we prove the last two things she said wrong? Show me how good you can fuck me with your big cock Chris” I bit my lip and I moved my fingers to toy with the waistband of his boxers as I looked into his eyes. “Are you serious? Because I dont think I’ll be able to control myself if I fuck you and I don’t wanna be too rough or hurt your feelings” He spoke softly as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.
I leaned up to place a kiss below his ear as I whisper “What if I like it rough and have a degradation kink?” I asked before sucking a few hickies into his neck as he processed what I just said. “And I’m on the pill so you can fuck me raw if you want to” I added making him let out a deep growl pulling his boxers down as he placed his lips on mine, teasing his tip through my folds. Chris placed his tip at my entrance, slowly pushing the mushroomed tip in before slamming the rest of his length into me. He pulled away from the kiss looking down at me waiting for me to tell him to move, once I gave him a nod he started pumping in and out of me at a slow pace.
“Chris, faster, please” I whined out as my fingers went to pull his hair. He started speeding up his thrust as we both let out moans “Goddamn you’re so fucking tight, squeezing my cock so good baby” he groaned out, speeding up his thrust even more, my nails starting to dig into his back as I moaned loudly. Chris dropped his head to look down between our bodies to watch his dick pumping in and out of me. “Ch-Chris you’re so big f-fuck! Ohh right th-there!” I whined out when he hit my g-spot repeatedly, I started sucking more hickies into his neck to match mine. “Yeah, you like that baby? You gonna cum all over my cock like a slut?” Chris growled out moving his hands from my waist, the left one going to rub my clit while the right one starts to toy with my nipples.
I grabbed Chris’ right hand bringing it up to my throat, loving the way his jaw dropped for a moment before turning into a smirk as he wrapped his fingers around my throat to choke me. “You’re such a fucking whore, letting your best friend destroy your tight little pussy!” Chris groaned as his thrusts sped up, his fingers on my clit doing the same as he repeatedly hit my g-spot. “I’m gonna cum! Fuck can I please cum!” I begged, whimpering as my nails scratched down his back, Chris’ hand squeezed my throat harder only adding to the pleasure. I felt his thrusts starting get sloppy signaling he’d was close too.
“Cum all over my cock baby, be a good little slut for me.” Chris groaned out. I came around his cock, my walls squeezing tighter around him, making him shoot his load inside of me. Warm spurts of cum painting my walls white. After we both road out our highs Chris stopped rubbing my clit and removed his hand from my throat before pulling out, causing us both to hiss at the feeling before he plopped down next to me. We both caught our breath before Chris spoke “That was something huh?” he chuckled out “I’m gonna be honest h/e/n has absolutely no fucking idea what she’s talking about because that was amazing” I said rolling over to face Chris, who had a big smile spread across his face.
Chris placed a sweet kiss to my lips, smiling into it when I kissed back, he moved some hair behind my ear after we pulled away “Thank you, for everything. You definitely made me feel so much better tonight, now let’s go get cleaned up and then we can go to sleep. I mean if you want to stay, y-you don’t have to it’s okay-y to s-“ he started saying nervously before I cut him off with a kiss. “Chris you don’t have to keep being so insecure with me dude. I’m not h/e/n, I actually care about you and I love you, you’re my best friend. Now come on let’s go shower and then we can cuddle okay?” I said while stroking his cheek. We got up and took a shower getting dressed after, I wore one of his shirts and a pair of boxers, before going to lay down. I was covered in hickies which made Chris feel proud, this was going to be fun to explain to Matt and Nick in the morning…
Taglist: @aliyahsbody @angelic-sturniolos111 @biimpanicking @biplrbtch @chrisenthusiast @chrisolivia4l @christinarowie332 @chr1sgirl4life @creamoncreamoncream2 @delimeats-000 @dev-speaks @ermdontmindthisaccount @flowerxbunnie @fionaheartswomen @gilbertscurls @heartsforchrisandmatt @iheartchrissturniolo @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose @justaslvttygirl @kvtie444 @lustfulslxt @luvysworld @m6ttsturniolo @mangosrar @mangoposts @meerkatzthings @mattsnutsack @meg-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @recklesssturniolo @rozariah51911 @slut4chr1s @solarsturniolo @soursturniolo @strniohoeee @strawberrysturniolo @sturnnfilm @sturniolocoded @sturniofilmd @sturniolohoe @sturniolopepsi @sturniolo0ntop @thecynthh @xxloveralways14
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iiwaijime · 3 months
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endgame: day one (i)
mlist.
nobara and yuji help you pack; to say the least, you're nervous. a whole week with someone you barely know. you stuff your clothes haphazardly into the bag, barely listening to anything they're saying.
"y/n! stop zoning out, did you hear what i said?"
"no, sorry yuji," you reply automatically.
"he said, inumaki may be a bitch and a brat sometimes, but he's a good guy," nobara tells you helpfully.
"that's not what i said!"
"i paraphrased."
you raise an eyebrow. "a good guy, yet you called him a bitch and a brat in the same breath."
"hey, i'm just being honest!" nobara tosses another pair of jeans at you. "this'll do. close it, yuji!"
"yes ma'am!"
you smile at the sight of them — two of your best friends — even as their chatter dissolves into giggling and hitting each other on the shoulders. "i'm really lucky to have you guys," you say aloud.
"what's all this sappy bullshit?" questions megumi from behind you. "since when do you like us?"
"y'know, just saying. in case i get murdered at inumaki's."
megumi groans unamusedly, but hands you a bag anyways. "snacks for later."
saying goodbye to them feels like you're getting married in the 1950s and leaving your parents' home forever, even though you'll be gone for a week at most, and you already know you'll be texting them all day. still, it's extremely nerve-wracking to spend even an hour in the same place as inumaki, alone. megumi drives you there, a surprising gesture considering he's always on your ass for not driving yourself. and then he's leaving again, and you're standing at the doorstep of an enormous penthouse like you're homeless, ringing the doorbell while you pray to be struck down by something else — you're not really sure what.
toge inumaki opens the door, and from the start it's clear that he's not expecting you. his hair — or what can be seen of it, anyways — is messy, and he looks like he's just woken up. (is he even wearing pants?) his eyes widen when he sees you. "shit, this early?"
"i think i'm exactly on time," you reply coldly.
"what?" he fishes his phone out of his pants pocket — to your relief, he is wearing shorts — and checks the time. "oh what the hell, i overslept."
"yeah..." you don't feel quite as enthusiastic.
"um, i'll show you to your room, and then we can draft out the formatting when i have breakfast."
breakfast? it's a little past three in the afternoon, but oh well. he shuts the door, then clears his throat. you turn to look at him, and your heart jumps up to your throat. he's pulled the hood down to reveal his pale, messy hair, and you forget who he is just long enough to register the fact that he's terribly attractive, even with the bedhead and puffy eyes. and then you remember that he's a stuck-up loser prick, and the thought is forced away from your mind. "yeah?"
"it's just comparing our routines, right?" he asks you. "for an entire week."
you nod, still speechless from the momentary revelation from half a minute ago. the heat on your cheeks refuses to dissipate.
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sparks fly!!!
sorry for the delay, i got into haikyuu and lost all inspiration until reading two fics that caused me to mental breakd(ance/own) this morning.
also i feel like inumaki is lowkey chill about finding yn attractive but yn is dying on the inside.
i stepped on an entire lego set maybe 3 minutes ago and it broke under my foot and it still hurts
my pookies at poopynation, also mimi and nora, ily guys yall my faves fr nghh
tags r open !
likes n rbs r appreciated <3
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TAGLIST !! @inumak-eumine @dawnisatotalqueen @satoryaa @punkhazardlaw @carefree-flowerchild @fawnios @shokosbunny @nakopii @lemonnotade @cloudnaiii @bellsoftheball @bubbleteanadboba @shuuji71 @maywill0ws @diorzs
tumblr cannot find some usernames, sorry!
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ahhnini · 4 months
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better things - cheater!ex! rafe cameron x reader one shot
part two / part three
synopsis - after rafe cheats on you, he wants a second chance. unfortunately for him, you’re onto better things now
warnings - rafe is lowkey an asshole here, arguing, cheating ( i don’t condone it!! )
word count - 1.2k
likes and reblogs are appreciated!
ask box is open!
tbh i love when my interests mix so here’s some aespa with a fic lol
divider credits - aqualogia on tumblr
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initially, you had a rough time after the breakup with rafe. tissues from crying were littered all over your room, you ghosted your friends, and you’re pretty sure you sold out the ice cream from the local grocery store.
turns out, he had cheated. you should’ve known something was up when his text responses became dry, didn’t want to go out in public for dates, and was always on his phone.
when you received the text from him saying, “I need to talk to you,” you panicked. your text response however, remained calm. you both met up, he confessed he cheated on you and wanted to break things off. you tried your best keeping a poker face but he knew you too well, knowing you were about to break down. he then had the audacity to give you “one final hug” before speeding off on his bike, leaving you wallowing in your tears. he never even apologized.
now, here you are, sunbathing with a couple of your friends. it’s a small island, so you occasionally see rafe with his new girlfriend, sofia. or was it sofie? you honestly can’t remember, and that was good. you’ve moved on, healed, realized that you were only with rafe because he saw you at your weakest.
as you watch your friends go in the water to cool off from the heat, you notice a familiar blond boy walking along the beach, alone. you take a glance and lay down on your beach towel again, not paying attention to him. until he calls out your name.
you sit up, and rafe stands over you. you want to see if you can ignore him, so you just wave him off, but you hear him scoff. it was awkward, of course, your ex was standing right in front of of you after almost a year of no contact. you decide to speak up, breaking the silence, “yeah?” and he bluntly says “we…broke up,” your eyebrows furrow. “okay? what does that have to do with me?” you respond. he sighs, “can we talk in private?” “alright, make it quick”
you both walk to a more secluded area, and he begins speaking, “we broke up because of you,” he sighs. “because of me? what part do I play in your relationship?” you cross your arms, scoffing. “sofia thought I was still hung up on you, and she was right, I was,” he looks at you, there’s shame in his eyes, and guilt in his words. you couldn’t believe what he was saying. he continued, “listen, I know I cheated on you, it was a shitty thing for me to do. my head wasn’t right, and…I took you for granted.”
you roll your eyes and scoff again, “yeah, you did take me for granted rafe…you knew how much I loved you, you knew how much I cherished our relationship…for you to throw that away-” he interrupts, “I know, and i’m willing to give it another shot. if you would just let me-” it was now your turn to interrupt, “excuse me? do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? you were the one who broke my heart in the first place, and now you’re crawling back to me? i’m sorry rafe, I won’t ever get back with you. never in a million years.” he sighed, defeated.
he hated seeing you like this, so happy. after that day on the beach, he tried to talk to you again via text. and again, and again, and again, until you finally hit the block button on his contact.
your paths crossed again at the wreck, you were talking with someone, a new friend perhaps. you were smiling and giggling as you ate one of your fries. of course he noticed you first, and his heart leaped. he wanted to come up to you and strike a conversation again, but he knew he would just get shut out by you once more. he wanted to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible, so he ordered and anxiously tapped his foot while mr. carrera fulfilled his order. as soon as his number was announced, he took the bag of food and rushed to his car, not caring that he was being stared at.
it hurt his pride, of course. he knows he shouldn’t be reacting this way, he has no right to be acting this way. but god, did he miss you. he missed the way he basically had you wrapped around your finger, you were so willing to drop everything for him at the snap of his fingers. sofia wasn't the same. she set him straight, didn't enable his behavior, and he hated that. rafe always got things his way, he couldn't control sofia the way he controlled you.
word gets around fast in kildare country. it didn't take long for rafe to find out that you have someone new. he quickly came to terms that you've finally moved on. however, he wasn't prepared to see you and your new boyfriend in person so soon.
you were living your best life, your skin was glowing, and you had the best boyfriend in the world, jason. he was the juxtaposition of rafe, a breath of fresh air. you two were having brunch at the country club, watching some of the members out on the field, playing golf or also having a nice meal. as you take another bite out of your avocado toast, you see a familiar trio walk in. you really wish this island wasn't so small so you wouldn't see him that often. it annoyed you more than it bothered you. you put your toast down on the plate, then spoke to your boyfriend, "i'm gonna use the restroom," he nodded his head. you stood up from your chair and went inside the building.
while on your way to the restroom, you ran into rafe. it had been six months after you blocked him, and you resisted rolling your eyes when he waved and smiled at you. he started walking towards you, and you hoped he knew how much of a stupid decision he was making. probably not, you thought. he was now across you, and you hear him speak up, "how are you?" "fine," you say, dryly. "heard some things goin' around town." rafe says, trying to keep the conversation going. "yeah, I have a new boyfriend," your voice is monotone. "oh, does he treat you better than me?" he asks. you roll your eyes and try your best to not just walk away from the conversation.
"yes, he does, rafe. why haven't you moved on?" your voice was slightly raised, and he sighs, "you know why I haven't moved on. I need you, y/n. please-" "rafe. i've moved on. you should too." you start walking away to the restroom, and he looks at you, defeated. you knew your worth, and you knew you deserved someone better than rafe.
he took one last glance at you before going back to topper and kelce. he sighed as your words hung over him. you moved onto better things now.
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lonelywitchv2 · 8 months
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ink and blood (strawberries pt. 3)
hey guys! sorry it’s been so long, i finished the fic but then someone stole my laptop and phone (i had to get new ones) and i got locked out of my email!! it's totally giving ao3 writer but anyways. enjoy <3
summary: this time it was you who broke, not your ink pot.
content: violence, cursing, fluff, lowkey emotional crisis, i think that’s it? idk, sirius is an asshole in this (shocker….)
wc: 2.7k (there was more but i hated it all so i deleted it so expect a part 4 by the end of this year if you’re lucky)
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Sirius stormed out of Gryffindor Tower, running right into Remus, who tried stopping him for an explanation. The act was pointless, of course, as Sirius shoved past him and went straight to James.
“Give me the map,” Sirius said.
“Why?” James asked, slightly hesitant.
“James. Give me the map,” Sirius repeated, anger rooted deep within his words.
James eyed the boy briefly, turning to look at Remus before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the folded piece of parchment. Before he could even say a word, Sirius snatched the map out of his hands and disappeared down the corridor, leaving his two friends behind.
“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” Sirius muttered under his breath, his wand pointed to the now unfolded map. Just as always, ink appeared on the page and painted the familiar picture of the Marauder's Map, along with each and every corner of the school. Sirius’ dark eyes scanned across the parchment, looking for the name of his brother. Finding the name he was looking for, Sirius headed towards the Great Hall, watching on the map as his brother exited the hall and started walking his way. In a matter of minutes, Sirius and Regulus were just a corner away from running into each other.
Regulus had no time to process his brother's presence as he rounded the corner, failing to dodge Sirius’ swing at his jaw, the punch leaving him to stumble back roughly. The younger Black brother looked up, hand instinctively going up to the numb area of his face as he caught the eyes of his brother. 
Sirius was far from over, however, as he launched himself at Regulus, knocking him to the floor and landing punch after punch onto the body and face of his brother. Regulus struggled beneath his older brother, continuously trying and failing to get Sirius off of him. Sirius, blinded by rage, only hit Regulus harder the more he tried to push him away.
When Regulus was finally able to muster up the strength to shove Sirius off of him, he scrambled away from him, leaning against a wall as he struggled to stand.
“What the hell, Sirius?” Regulus exclaimed, a shake in his voice as the pain engulfed him.
“How could you? I saw the letter you wrote to her, Regulus, why can’t you just leave her alone?” Sirius shouted, his throat threatening to close up as he shook the letter at his brother.
“I- that was a private letter, Sirius,” Regulus said weakly, heart dropping to his stomach.
“If you don’t shut up, so help me Godric, I will kill you,” Sirius said darkly, pushing himself up from where Regulus had shoved him and walking towards him. 
Regulus was more prepared this time, albeit, significantly more bloody, and stumbled toward Sirius to defend himself. It was Sirius, again, who made the first swing, hitting Regulus square in the nose, followed by a crack. Regulus was surprisingly quick to respond, even with blood now gushing from his nose, and threw a punch that landed on Sirius’ cheek. 
“You little fucker-“ Sirius muttered, preparing to hit Regulus only to keel over when the younger Black brother hit him in the stomach.
It was then that Professor McGonagall appeared from around the corner, greeted by the sight of Regulus’ bloodied and bruised face and Sirius still hunched over from the hit to his gut, hair covering the bruise beginning to form on his cheek. She was quick to put herself between the brothers in case another fight started.
“What in Godric’s name is going on here?” She exclaimed, furious. 
After what felt like an hour of being chewed out by Professor McGonagall and losing their respective houses 100 points, they went their separate ways, Sirius going to the Gryffindor common room and Regulus going to the Slytherin common room. 
When Sirius entered the common room, he looked over to the couches where he saw you, Marlene, Lily, Remus, James, and Peter all sitting in silence. You noticed his presence first, jumping up when you saw his face.
“Good Godric, what the hell happened to you?” Your hands instinctively reached towards his face as you stepped towards him.
“Why don’t you fuss over your little boyfriend instead?” Sirius said hostilely, slapping your hand away from his face.
Your hands dropped to your sides, face falling as well.
“You guys fought?” You asked quietly.
Sirius didn’t answer, only turning around and walking up to his dorm, faithfully followed by James, Peter, and Remus. 
You still hadn’t moved, but you could feel your heart beating in your stomach, nauseous at the thought of Sirius and Regulus fighting because of you. Your chest heaved, trying to calm yourself before you ran out of Gryffindor tower, feet carrying you down to the dungeons and to the entrance of the Slytherin common room. You looked around, spotting a first-year in green robes walking past you, running up to him and pleading for the code.
Once you entered the Slytherin common rooms, you ran past the people scattered around the room and went straight up to Regulus’s dorm.
Regulus looked up from where he was sitting on his bed as you entered his dormitory and you couldn’t help the shocked gasp that escaped you when you saw his face. His jaw was bruised a dark purple, the skin around his eye slowly turning a similar shade of violet, blood still dripping from his nose, and more bruises across his body. Those, of course, were only the injuries you could see.
“Oh, Regulus,” You whispered, approaching his bed as he wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you in between his legs so his head was against your chest and your hands gently combed through his curls. You stayed like that for a while, Regulus listening to the beating of your heart as you stroked his back, not caring about the blood stain that was certainly appearing on your jumper.
“Let’s clean you up, love,” You said, pulling away from the hug. You placed a brief kiss on his lips before entering the bathroom, grabbing and wetting a washcloth for the blood. 
Sitting next to him on his bed, you gently wiped the blood off Regulus’s face, apologizing profusely whenever he winced. The entire time you were cleaning his face off, his eyes were trained on your face, tracing over your features.
“You look really pretty,” Regulus whispered to you, holding back a grin upon seeing you blush and watching a small smile gracing your face.
“Reg, you should be focusing on yourself and not me,” You responded with a breathy laugh.
“Are you mad at me?” He asked, making you pause. 
“I’m not mad at you Regulus,” You answered, cupping his face with your hand and stroking it gently with your thumb. Regulus leaned into your touch, eyes briefly fluttering shut. 
“Alright, don’t fall asleep on me, darling, I still have to check out your bruises,” You said softly, laughing when Regulus groaned, “I promise I’ll let you sleep after.”
You stood up from his bed, a bit reluctantly if you were being honest, and began helping him take off his jumper. Regulus’ light grey jumper, which you had gifted him for Christmas, keeping his neutral-colored closet in mind, was now decorated with droplets of his blood. Once his jumper and undershirt were removed, you let out a sigh. His stomach and chest were littered with bruises, some bigger and darker, others smaller and lighter.
“Damnit, you got beat, huh?” You muttered teasingly, “I’m sorry, Reg.”
“‘S alright, just come lay with me, dove,” Regulus mumbled as he tugged you down onto the bed with him, laying so that you were facing each other.
You tugged the dark green blankets over your bodies, settling back down on the bed, your head right next to his own, his dark curls falling onto the pillow as he turned onto his side to look at you.
“I love you,” You whispered, your nervous eyes looking into his gray ones. You relaxed, though, as you watched his bruised face spread into a smitten smile.
“I love you too,” Regulus whispered back, still grinning.
You lifted your head, just enough to move it an inch from Regulus’s, and pressed your lips against his. The kiss was slow and sweet, your noses gently nudging one another as your lips moved. Your hand gently reaching for his curls to pull him closer as you smiled into the kiss. After Regulus pulled away, he curled his body into yours, his head tucked in the crook of your shoulder, arm draped over your waist, while you let your hands travel along his warm back and through his dark, curly hair. In that position, it didn’t take long for Regulus to fall asleep, with you following soon after.
You and Regulus slept the afternoon away, cuddled together until Evan entered the dorm around 4 o’clock, interrupting your sleep. After the boy mentioned the time, you soon realized you had disappeared from Gryffindor Tower for six hours with no explanation.
“Do you have to go?” Regulus asked, trying to pull you back into bed with him as you sighed deeply.
“Yeah, I do. I’ll see you later, Reg, I love you,” You said, turning to pull him into a kiss.
“I love you too. Don’t let Sirius get to you too much,” Regulus said after pulling away from the kiss, watching in a lovesick daze as you left the room. When he turned to Evan, who was still in the room, he snapped out of it, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“‘I love you too.’ Since when did you start saying I love you and why haven’t I heard about it?” Evan questioned, imitating Regulus’s voice as he plopped down on his bed expectantly.
“You’re such a drama queen,” Regulus joked, earning an eye roll from his friend.
“Don’t you dare call me a drama queen,” Evan said, pointing a finger threateningly at the smirking boy.
When you entered the Gryffindor common room, you were met with the sight of a sulking Sirius holding a towel of ice to his cheek. You both looked at each other, entering a brief staring match before Sirius broke the silence.
“Did you have fun with my little brother?” Sirius asked bitterly, glaring.
“Dear Godric, Sirius, will you stop with that? I was cleaning him up after you almost broke his nose!” You exclaimed, anger rising by the moment.
“Oh, yeah, because wiping some blood off his face takes six hours,” Sirius remarked.
“You know what, Sirius? Fuck you. You went and beat up your own brother because he’s in love with your friend? It’s fucking sad,” You snapped, eyes narrowing on the black-haired boy.
“Oh, so you two are in love now? Regulus doesn’t love people, he’s playing you and you’re too fucking stupid to see it,” Sirius said, standing up so he was in front of you, ice left on the couch.
You said nothing, only letting your hand fly to his already bruised face and slap it, Sirius’ head turning to the side at the force of your hand. Slowly, he turned to face you once more, staring into your eyes.
“Don’t you dare say shit like that again, Sirius Black, or you’ll get a whole lot more than a slap,” You threatened, face hardened in a scowl as you pushed him back and away from you. 
You turned, shouldering past Marlene and Lily, who were standing on the staircase with wide eyes, and stalked up to your dormitory, slamming the wooden door shut behind you. You looked around the room and at the floor by your bed, where your belongings were still scattered and your ink pot was still broken. The dark ink had sunk into the floorboards, staining the wood black.
You began cleaning your part of the dorm, picking everything up by hand despite knowing you could easily use magic, knowing you needed to focus on something or else you would start bawling. The broken pieces of the inkpot, which were still dripping ink, were the last things you picked up off of the floor. A small piece of the glass, so small that you had almost missed it on the wood, sliced through the still-stinging skin of your palm, crimson rising to the surface. You didn’t move, eyes trained on the blood that was dripping from your hand and landing next to the black dots of ink on the floorboards.
You only broke out of your trance when you heard the door to your dorm opening, your roommate, Lana, entering. 
“You alright?” She asked, catching your eyes as you looked up from your hand, which she quickly noticed, “Merlin, what happened? Come on, let’s clean that.”
You dropped the shards of glass, which were now covered in both ink and blood, into the garbage and let Lana lead you into the bathroom to clean your cut. She rinsed your hand off before gently cleaning the cut. When Lana finished cleaning it, she wrapped it and bandaged it before turning to leave.
“Thank you, Lana,” You said gratefully, smiling softly at your roommate as she paused in the doorway.
“Always, it’s what friends are for,” Lana responded, returning your smile.
Lana was on her bed reading a book when you finally left the bathroom to return to cleaning. With your hand now bandaged, you waved your wand and watched the black and red spots disappear off of the mahogany wood.
It was then, as you lay on your bed, that you found yourself wishing your conscience could be wiped clean as easily as the wood was. Every time you shut your eyes, images of Regulus’s body covered in purple and blue marks plagued your mind, alongside the unforgettable sight of Sirius’ bruised face twisted in anger as you slapped him. 
Your eyes flew open, focusing on the ceiling while you tried to blink the images out of your mind. You turned your head to Lana, who was already looking at you with a perplexed gaze.
"Why is he like this? Sirius, I mean. I get that he's mad but, Lana, you should've seen the bruises Regulus had, Sirius hurt him so much," You whispered to your roommate.
“There never really is a good answer in situations like this, just that people get blinded by their anger and do bad things. I’m not excusing Sirius’s actions, Godric no, but he definitely wasn’t thinking straight,” Lana answered tentatively, placing her book on her nightstand.
“I just don’t know what to do now,” You whispered, eyes clouded with tears as you looked away from Lana, “Sirius and Regulus were already on bad enough terms as it was, but now they’re getting in fights and it’s all my fault.”
Lana said nothing, only getting up from her bed and moving to yours, pulling you into a hug. She kept her arms around you as your body shook with sobs, the harsh reality of the situation hitting you like a truck. 
Everything has changed.
So much had happened over the past week- everyone found out you and Regulus were dating, you got banned from seeing him, Sirius ransacked your room and then fought with Regulus, you slapped Sirius, and now you were here. Crying in your roommate’s arms.
“I feel like all I’m doing is hurting people. I hurt Sirius and betrayed his trust. I’m the reason Regulus and Sirius got in that fight. Bloody hell, I slapped Sirius,” You cried, your breath stuttering as you spoke.
“Listen to me, this isn’t all your fault. You aren’t doing this to hurt people. Sometimes, things don’t always go the way they should and that’s just a part of life. Regulus loves you and you love him, it’s only a matter of time before Sirius sees that and he’s just gonna have to learn to accept it,” Lana said firmly, “And he will accept it, trust me. He might be mad now but he’s not going to lose you over this.”
You couldn’t even respond at that point, your body shaking with tears and sobs as Lana hugged you.
334 notes · View notes
midastouch013 · 4 months
Text
"God Must Hate Me"
Based on this request
Summary: When your girlfriend tells you what's making her withdraw from everyone, what do you do?
Warnings: Nat lowkey hating herself. Mentions of God. Self-hatred. Mentions of numbness. Mentions of Red Room. Mention of scars.
----
It had been almost a year since you started dating Natasha Romanoff, and everything had been going perfectly. But lately, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Natasha seemed to be withdrawing from you, from her friends, and from her sister too.
You noticed it first when Natasha stopped joining you for movie nights. She used to love cuddling up with you on the couch, sharing popcorn and watching your favorite films. But now, she always had some excuse to avoid it.
"Nat, I rented that movie you wanted to watch," you'd say hopefully, holding up the DVD as she passed by.
"Sorry, babe, I'm really tired tonight. Maybe another time," she'd reply with a forced smile, already halfway out the door.
You shrugged it off at first, thinking she was just going through a busy time at work. But then you noticed she was avoiding her friends too.
"Hey, Nat, Pepper's invited us over for dinner tonight. She's making your favorite lasagna," you'd say, trying to tempt her.
"Thanks, but I think I'm just going to stay in tonight. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on," she'd reply, barely looking up from her laptop.
Even Yelena couldn't seem to get through to her.
"Natasha, we never see each other anymore. Can we please have lunch together today?" Yelena would ask, looking hurt.
"I'm sorry, Lena, I just have a lot on my mind right now. Rain check?" Natasha would reply, not meeting her sister's eyes.
But it wasn't just her friends and family she was avoiding. Natasha seemed to be retreating into herself more and more each day. You'd find her in the gym for hours on end, pushing herself to the limit with no explanation.
"Nat, you've been in here for three hours. Don't you think you should take a break?" you'd ask, concerned.
"I'm fine, Y/n. I just need to work off some steam," she'd reply, not even breaking a sweat.
Or you'd find her in the garden, sitting alone and gazing off into the distance.
"Natasha, is everything okay?" you'd ask softly, sitting down beside her.
She'd startle slightly, as if she hadn't even realized you were there.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just… thinking," she'd reply vaguely, not meeting your eyes.
And then there were the times when she would accidentally ignore you, lost in her own thoughts.
"Nat, I was talking to you," you'd say, trying to get her attention.
"Huh? Sorry, what did you say?" she'd reply, looking confused.
You watched all of this unfold, feeling more and more confused and sad with each passing day. You didn't understand why Natasha was pulling away from everyone, including you. You tried to give her space, hoping she would open up to you eventually. But as the days turned into weeks, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong.
---
As you finished your day's work at the hospital, your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Natasha. Clint's call had left you deeply concerned. You knew something was wrong, and you couldn't shake the feeling of dread as you drove home.
Pulling into the driveway, you noticed Natasha sitting on the porch, her gaze fixed on the neighbor's child playing with her dog and toys. There was a sadness in her eyes that made your heart ache.
As you sat silently beside her, Natasha broke the silence with a heavy sigh.
"Do you ever see someone and think, 'Wow, God must hate me'?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
You didn't respond verbally; instead, you simply placed your hand on hers, offering silent support, waiting for her to continue.
"'Cause He spent so much time on them, " she gestured towards the family in the backyard. The father and mother had joined the child, and they looked so happy together. "And for me, He got lazy. Got ample mental illness, personality flaws…" Her fingers subconsciously clenched. "Like, have you seen me? Yelena? Melina and Alexei? How messed up we are."
"While their only flaw seems to be that they have none at all," she continued, gesturing again towards the family. The child sat on the father's shoulders while their mother took a picture of them.
And then Natasha repeated, her voice heavy with emotion, "Do you ever see someone and think, 'Wow, God must hate me'? Because I do."
As Natasha's words hung heavy in the air, you felt your heart breaking for her. Gently, you spoke up, your voice soft but firm.
"Nat, it's not your fault. None of it is. It's the Red Room's fault, Dreykov's fault, for putting you through all of that," you said, trying to reassure her. "And maybe even God's fault, if one chose to believe in the almighty."
She let out a bitter laugh, her sarcasm cutting through the air like a knife.
"For everything that's wrong with me, I can't hold myself responsible. So I blame the metaphysical, because obviously, they're the ones who killed those people, not me, because I wasn't the one holding the gun," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Natasha continued to speak, her words weighing heavily on your heart.
"You know, a nun came up to me today. She told me that Jesus died for all our sins. If Jesus died for all our sins… He left one behind, the body I'm in," she said, her voice filled with sorrow.
Then, in her usual defensive humor, she added, "That means that the same hands that made the moon and the stars obviously got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts."
You didn't chuckle at her attempt at humor. Instead, you intertwined your fingers with hers, a silent gesture of comfort, and told her not to speak like that.
"I thought you didn't even believe in God," you said softly.
But Natasha continued, her voice barely above a whisper, "I don't know what I believe. But it's easier to think He made a mistake with me."
You felt a lump form in your throat, the weight of her words hitting you like a ton of bricks.
As the neighbor's child laughed loudly, climbing up the tree in their backyard, her mother fretting while her father cheered her on, Natasha smiled wistfully at them.
" Do you ever see someone and think, 'Wow, they got lucky'? The craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body," she said softly, her gaze fixed on the family.
She seemed to drift into a reverie before continuing, "All I got at her age…" She pointed to the girl. "Was a fake family, scars, and pain."
"Babe," you started, unsure of what to say.
But Natasha continued, her voice distant, "When I look into the mirror for too long, it hurts. And don't get me started on how I eat. I can eat the least amount of food ever and want to enjoy myself with one dessert, and see another person do the same, except they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert."
Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky"
I'll let 'em take accountability For everything that's wrong with me Can't hold myself responsible So I'll blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I'm in Same hands that made the moon and the stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts
I don't know what I believe But it's easier to think He made a mistake with me
Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" 'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy
You listened quietly, feeling her pain as if it were your own. You wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, that she was perfect just the way she was. But you knew that words alone wouldn't be enough to heal her wounds. Natasha's words overwhelmed you, the lump in your throat growing bigger. You wanted to cry too, but you held it in, knowing that Natasha needed you to be strong for her.
"I'll be right back, Nat," you said softly, gently pulling away from her and making your way into the house.
Once inside, you took a deep breath, trying to gain some emotional control. And so you busied yourself making a cup of tea for Natasha, knowing that if you went out right no, you'd be of no help and she'd just shut you out.
As you looked out the window, you noticed that it had started raining. You felt a pang of worry when you saw Natasha still sitting on the porch, getting soaked by the rain.
Without a second thought, you rushed back outside, ignoring the rain as you pulled Natasha in from the porch. She didn't respond, but you wrapped her in the warmest hug you could manage, holding her close despite the rain soaking through your clothes.
"Do you want to change?"
Natasha remained numb not replying , so you too matters into your own hands. You gently scooped her into your arms, carrying her upstairs to the bathroom. She didn't resist, didn't protest, just allowed you to take care of her.
You stripped her out of her wet clothes, bathing her gently, all the while she remained unresponsive. You helped her into your favorite pajamas of hers, knowing how much she loved wearing them, and then tucked her into bed, attending to her needs with care and tenderness.
Despite holding back your own tears, you offered her words of comfort, reassuring her that you were there for her, that you would always be there for her.
Finally, as you tucked her in properly, Natasha showed the first sign of emotion. She grabbed onto your now wet t-shirt, pleading with you not to go, repeating the words over and over again like a mantra.
You gently brushed the hair away from her face, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead.
"I'm not going anywhere, Nat," you whispered, your voice filled with reassurance. "I'm just going to change my clothes, and then I'll be right back. I promise."
With one last comforting squeeze, you reluctantly pulled away, leaving Natasha alone in the bed as you made your way to the bathroom to change.
After you changed into dry clothes, you climbed back into bed with Natasha, gently dragging her into your arms so that your back was resting against the headboard, and she was nestled between your legs with her back to your front. You wrapped your arms securely around her waist, resting your head on her shoulder, holding her close as she remained numb and silent.
"Nat," you began softly, your voice steady but full of emotion, "I know you feel like everything you've been through defines you, but I want you to see the other side of it too."
She stayed quiet, but you continued, knowing she was listening.
"You talked about your childhood and how it felt like a fake family. But that 'fake' family is the one who threatened to end me when you told them we were dating," you said, a small smile playing on your lips at the memory. "They cared for you so much that when we had that huge argument, Alexei broke down my door and shattered my vase, just to make sure you were okay."
Natasha's fingers twitched slightly, a sign she was absorbing your words.
"That 'fake' family knew you so well that Melina sent me your favorite foods when you were feeling down. And Yelena, she almost killed Clint and me because of Vormir. She loves you so much, Nat. They all do."
You could feel her body gradually relaxing ever so slightly in your embrace.
"And let's not forget the Avengers. Clint has scolded me more times than I can count when we fought. Tony gave us a whole ass house to live in. Steve and Sam drop by weekly just to check in. Wanda and Peter are practically our kids. Kate and Yelena—they're like sisters to us, though I'm sure they're dating at this point. Maria and Fury even gave me death threats when they thought I hurt you, and they are scary, almost enough to rival you and Lena."
You paused, feeling a lump form in your throat as you continued, "Whether or not you realize it, you're so lucky to have people who love you like that. The Red Room did awful things to you, but it didn't destroy you. It made you who you are today. A survivor. A sister. A daughter. A friend. A best friend. A girlfriend."
Tears filled your eyes, but you held them back, focusing on Natasha.
"I'm not saying the Red Room made you stronger, because that would dismiss the pain you've been through. But it shaped you into the incredible person you are. And you are loved, so deeply and fiercely."
You held Natasha tightly, feeling her slowly beginning to trust your words as her body leaned into yours for comfort. The rain continued to fall outside, creating a soothing background noise as you continued to speak, wanting to reassure her as much as you could.
"And that thing you said about not being able to look at yourself in the mirror? That's total bull crap," you said softly, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Because you look so freaking hot and sexy to me, Nat. Every time I see you, I can't believe how lucky I am."
You felt her body relax a little more in your arms, and you took a deep breath, continuing.
"I love you, regardless of anything. The Red Room, Dreykov, all the horrible things that happened—they don't define you. What defines you is your heart, your strength, your kindness. And if God really does exist, yeah, he put you through some serious shit, and I hate him for that. But he sure made up for it with the family you've gotten, and he sure as hell blessed me by giving you to me."
Natasha's grip on your arm tightened even more, and she turned slightly to look at you, tears in her eyes.
"Don't go," she whispered again, her voice breaking.
"I'm not going anywhere," you assured her, your own voice trembling with emotion. "I'm here, and I'm staying right here with you."
You held her tightly, feeling her slowly begin to trust your words, her body leaning into yours for comfort. As the rain continued to fall outside, you both sat there in silence, wrapped in each other's embrace, knowing that together, you could face whatever came next.
"I love you, Nat," you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. "And I'm here for you, always."
She nodded slightly, her head resting against your chest. "I love you too," she murmured, her voice soft but filled with emotion.
As Natasha finally fell asleep, cuddled up against you, you carefully reached for your phone, not wanting to disturb her. You opened the "Widow Family" group chat, which consisted of Yelena, Alexei, Melina, Natasha, and you. You quickly typed out a message:
WIDOW FAMILY 🕷️🕸️
You: Hey Nat rlly needs u all right now. Can u come by in about an hour?
Within moments, replies started to come in:
White Widow: I'll be there.
Red Guardian: Of course! I’ll bring borscht!
Mother Widow: On my way.
Feeling reassured, you then switched to the "Earth's Best Squabblers" group chat, which included all the Avengers. You typed out another message:
EARTH'S BEST SQUABBLERS 🤡🤡
You: Hey guys Nat rlly needs u rn Can u come by ASAP?
The responses were almost immediate:
Tin Can: On my way. Pepper & Morgan too
Capsicle: Be there soon.
Birdy 1: Already heading over. Laura and the kids are tagging
Green Bean: I'll be there.
Metal Arm: Be there in 20
Birdy 1's 2.0: Lena and I are on our way.
Point Break: I shall arrive promptly!
Witchy: I'm coming.
Birdy 2: Be there in a few.
Spidey Boy: Swinging over now!
You put your phone down, feeling a surge of gratitude for the people in your life. Carefully, you adjusted yourself, making sure Natasha was as comfortable as possible without waking her. You held her close, watching her sleep, knowing that soon, the people who loved her most would be there to support her.
--
When Natasha began to stir and slowly opened her eyes, you gave her a gentle smile, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
"Hey, sleepyhead," you said softly. "Someone's here to see you."
She looked at you curiously, and you took her hand, leading her downstairs. As you approached the living room, the sounds of laughter and chatter grew louder. Natasha's eyes widened in surprise when she saw everyone gathered.
The room was filled with laughter and chatter. Yelena, Kate, Wanda, Peter, Lily and Cooper were huddled in one corner, engaged in animated conversation. Alexei, Steve, Tony, Clint, Sam, Bucky, and Rhodey were sharing beers and laughing loudly. Pepper, Melina, and Laura were chatting away in another corner, their voices blending into a soothing hum. Nathaniel and Morgan were playing on the floor, while Lila and Cooper were with Peter and Kate, joining in the fun.
Yelena, Kate, Wanda, and Peter were huddled in one corner, talking animatedly. Alexei, Steve, Tony, Clint, Sam, Bucky, and Rhodey were sharing beers and exchanging stories. Pepper, Melina, and Laura were chatting away, their faces lit up with smiles.
As you led Natasha into the room, everyone turned to greet her, their faces lighting up with warmth and affection. You gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and guided her further into the room.
Natasha looked around, her eyes softening as she took in the sight of her family and friends, all here for her. You could see the gratitude and love in her eyes.
"Hey, everyone," she said, a small smile tugging at her lips.
Yelena rushed over, pulling her into a tight hug. "About time you woke up, sestra."
"Hey, Nat," Steve called out, raising his beer in a toast. "Good to see you."
One by one, everyone came over to greet her, sharing their love and support. The room was filled with warmth and laughter, a stark contrast to the somber mood from earlier.
As the evening went on, you found yourself sitting on the couch with Natasha perched on your lap, your arms wrapped around her protectively. She was joking around with everyone, her smile genuine and her laughter heartfelt.
At one point, she leaned in close to your ear and whispered, "Thank you."
You smiled, feeling your heart swell with love. "I love you, Nat," you whispered back. "And so do they."
She looked around the room, taking in the faces of her family and friends, and nodded. "I know," she said softly. "I really do."
You held her close, feeling a sense of peace settle over both of you. In that moment, surrounded by the people who loved her most, you knew that Natasha was starting to heal. And you would be there, every step of the way.
185 notes · View notes
mydearesthrry · 3 months
Text
lover, you should’ve come over - h.s.
a/n: part 2 to casual. read here! also, this is lowkey not great cause casual wasnt supposed to be a 2 parter. but bc i love u i did it. be grateful. enjoy my babies!!!! song: lover, you should’ve come over by jeff buckley
warnings: angst, happy-ISH ending
pairing: loser doormat!y/n x harry styles
Tumblr media
— MARCH
harry: hi princess, i really miss you.
harry: i haven’t seen you since two fridays ago, where’ve you gone?
harry: text me back, please baby.
y/n: safe and alive
y/n: and i already told you, u don’t need to worry abt me
y/n: im fine
harry: i’m coming over.
y/n: har, please don’t. it’s really okay.
harry: not to me.
setting her phone down with a sigh, y/n scrubbed her hands up and down her face as she felt the beginning of a headache begin to brew at the thought of having to see harry.
after the conversation they’d had two weeks ago, harry hadn’t come over, and she hadn’t made the effort to ask him to. she reckoned that if she pulled back slowly, he wouldn’t notice.
she curses herself now for thinking that. of course he’d notice. because he’s harry.
she didn't want to have to talk about how she felt, because it meant admitting that she loved him. and she knew that wouldn't exactly fare well for her.
trying her hardest to make time pass by as slow as possible, she stepped into her bathroom, starting a bubble bath. if this was what she was going to have to deal with tonight, she might as well be comfy. harry can deal with sitting on the floor.
“princess?” she heard him call. her eyes squeezed shut as she braced herself, knowing that even seeing his face was going to viscerally affect her.
“i’m in here,” she called back, quieter than he was initially. “hi.”
“you look pretty,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth. an eye roll from y/n had him squatting down in front of her, face inches from hers. “wanna give me a kiss?”
“no, not really.” she said plainly, sinking further deeper into the water, creating distance between them. harry couldn’t see her body as it was completely concealed by the mountains of foamy bubbles.
“ouch, princess, i don’t see you f’two weeks and this is what i get? even drove over here 5 over the limit jus’ t’see you.” harry didn’t want to admit that her rejection had felt like a gunshot wound to the heart, but he’d accepted it anyway so as to not make her uncomfortable. he knew she was upset and needed to fix it. he just didn’t know why.
“i’m sure you’ve gotten plenty kisses from claire the past two weeks, hm?” she mumbled pettily, shifting her glare to the faucet in front of her.
“so that’s what this is about.”
“what’s this?” she didn't think he actually noticed.
“you being all bratty, not talking t’me, s’hurting m’feelings, my love.”
harry was surprised to hear a laugh emit from her throat. “hurting your feelings… i’m hurting your feelings? that’s rich, really, harry. even for you.”
“what?”
“how do you not know that you’re making me miserable?” she whispered defeatedly and the dam broke. silent tears began to run down her cheeks, and she knew she couldn’t blame it on being sweat from the heated water. not when harry reached out to wipe them away with his calloused thumbs.
“baby- i- what?” he blubbered, shifting onto his knees to have an advantage of being closer to the tub. “what do you mean i’m making you miserable?”
“because you like playing this game with me, harry. its just so fucked up. you keep me around, kiss me, fuck me, and then treat me like i’m just one of your fucking lads, like you don’t really care. you get possessive when i talk to other guys at events, but if i get upset that you’re literally fucking another girl, i’m being sensitive, and ‘i should know by now that we aren’t exclusive.’ it feels like you don’t even want me. someone who claims to love me wouldn’t do this to me.”
a pause, a sniffle.
“you’re supposed to be my best friend, h.”
the room was eerily silent. harry’s face had gone stoic and pale. y/n sat there quietly, breath hitching with every sob she tried to stifle.
“‘m sorry,” he started.
“i’m sure you are.”
“how do i fix it?”
“i… i don’t know if you can.” she whispered honestly.
no words were shared between the two for minutes that felt stretched into hours. her fingers and toes had gotten pruny, the bubbles beginning to dissolve. she needed to get out— but she didn’t want harry to see her at her most vulnerable.
“can you please wait for me in my room?” she murmured, reaching over the lip of the tub for her towel that lay on the floor, sliding it closer to the tub.
“princess,” he said in near disbelief.
“please don’t call me that. can you please wait for me in my room?” she said ruefully, catching his eyes so he knew she was serious. she knows he would never purposely disrespect her boundaries.
harry shifted uncomfortably at y/n asking him to stop calling her ‘princess’, the name he’d crowned her with since the beginning. “erm, yeah. sorry.”
walking out of the bathroom, harry collapsed onto her bed, eyes brimming with tears as he tried to control his sporadic breathing. why did he do this to her?
“hi,” y/n said, shuffling out the bathroom a few minutes later with her hair in a small pink towel. she looked significantly calmer, more put together. “let’s talk.”
“i’m sorry-“
“no, me first, you listen,” she stated, watching as harry nodded, not caring that she’d cut him off.
“i love you. it’s not a secret that i love you, and i love you in more ways than one. i love everything about you, how kind you are, how gentle. but you aren’t really,” she paused, not knowing how to explain herself. “you aren’t really nice to me.”
"what do you mean?" he murmured, head cast downward. he reminded her of a wounded puppy. it was his fault, but she couldn't help but feel a little bad.
"i... i don't know how to put this without being the bad guy, but you're really manipulative to me. texting me when it's convenient for you, coming over when its convenient for you, all of it, harry. it's manipulative, and i don't know how to make you understand. i couldn't do it to you, even if i tried."
"why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.
"i tried. every time i tried talking about it with you, you'd shut me up with a kiss, feeding me a line, something. it was always something." she explained, a sympathetic, dulcet smile on her face.
"i didn't mean to hurt you, y/n."
she nods understandingly. she knows that he's a good person at his core. she knows his heart. "i know you didn't mean to, but you did."
"if- if it helps, and i don't know if it's gonna," harry begins, before pausing as his throat began to squeeze, his nose tingling with the onslaught of tears. "i always wanted it to be you."
are you kidding me? y/n thought, taking a deep breath to keep her composure. “if you wanted to be with me, why didn’t you just come over?”
“i don’t know what you wanted. if you still wanted me, or if you wanted to end things… i… i didn’t know. 'm sorry, baby, i'm really sorry, fuck, i really, really am. y've got t'believe me, i didn't mean to hurt yo-” he stumbles over his words, breath catching as he tries to explain himself. y/n can see the panic begin to coat his green eyes, and with throwing all logic out the window, she climbs onto his lap, holding his face in her hands.
"i know you didn't, harry, i know. that's why i'm telling you now, okay? i'm trying to help you. i want to fix this, but you need to understand how i feel too, okay?" she nods, running her thumbs up and down his cheekbones, the tips of his lashes kissing her fingertips.
“i- i can’t lose you, i can’t,” he gasped through tears, shaking his head side to side. “i’m sorry baby, i’m so, so sorry.”
“harry. look at me.” she demanded, holding his face tightly so he couldn’t move. his eyes slowly casted to her face, noting how her eyes had began to gloss over again, nose reddening with emotion. “i know you didn’t mean to hurt me. i’m not that upset anymore. you won’t lose me, but you need to see my point of view.”
“and i do— i really do, i swear. angel, i promise i see you and i hear you, i just- fuck- i don’t know how to make it better.”
“you acknowledging it makes it better. you apologizing makes it better.”
“it couldn’t possibly be enough. i- y/n, i hurt you. i made you cry, and i made you inferior. i promised myself that you would be the one person i wouldn’t ever hurt. you’re too good t’me, you’re so perfect.”
a soft smile played on y/n’s lips. “its okay, h. i forgive you.”
“you do?”
“yeah, i do. but, i don’t think i can do this with you anymore.”
“do what?”
“this, the friends with benefits agreement. it’s too hurtful for me, and if i can’t have you as a lover, i don’t think i can have you at all.”
“what? what do you mean by that?”
“i need time, h. i need space, and i need room to breathe and think. if i see you, i worry i’ll make rash decisions that’ll hurt me in the end.” she sighed, climbing off his lap as she made her decision. “if i can’t love you in the way i know you deserve, i don’t know if i can give you love at all.”
“why?”
“because i don’t know how to love you without it being all consuming.”
“why don’t you let it? i still want you, y/n. i just told you that.”
“but i can’t risk getting hurt again, harry. not by you.”
“so that’s it? i can’t be your friend, i can’t be your lover?”
she sighed, clenching her teeth before swallowing thickly. “i can’t be the reason you didn’t find the love of your life.”
a pause. bated breaths. “what if its you?”
a defeated chuckle. “it can’t be. no matter how much you want it to.”
“why won’t you give us a chance!”
“how can i believe that it won’t be different than last time?!” she screamed, finally at her wits end. standing from the bed, she stood at the foot with clenched fists. “i think you should leave.”
“what? no, baby, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to upset you.”
“please leave, harry. i just need time to think, and i can’t do that if you’re here.” she pleaded. watching harry step up from her bed, she placed a hand over her mouth and followed him out the door.
“i love you, but it’s ruining my life.”
“promise me you’ll call when you’ve had time to think. promise me that you’ll call when you need me again. please, promise me you’ll call me if you want me here. i will come to you, no matter where i am.”
“i know you will, harry. i know. and i will. i promise to call you when i’m ready.”
“i love you, okay?”
“i know. goodbye, harry.”
— JUNE
“hello?” y/n said into the speaker of her phone.
“hi, princess. i’ll be there in 20, okay? i’ve missed you.”
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leilanihours · 2 months
Note
🖇️ 46 + kate martin ugh that prompt is so UGH
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# I WISH THAT YOU WOULD STAY IN MY MEMORIES
pairing: kate martin x ex-gf!reader
word count: 762
warnings: angst, mentions of ghosting, reader lowkey being unfair?
prompt: "i had finally forgotten about you. i had finally started to live again. and now you decide to come back."
⭑ from lani: i suck at writing angst but im on my period so here we are
celly masterlist !
main masterlist !
"ARE YOU EXPECTING someone?" your girlfriend, olivia, asks as you hear knocks at your front door. it's nearing midnight, exhaustion slowly overpowering your body.
"uh, no, are you?" you ponder, thinking of who the hell would be insane enough to show up to someone's house in the middle of the night while it's raining.
"nope," she answers, "want me to get it?"
"i got it, baby," you say softly, "wanna go make us some more popcorn?"
as she nods, you each get up from your spots on the couch. you pad over to the front door, slightly cracking it open only to be met with the last person you would've expected.
"kate?" your eyebrows are furrowed as you blink at the girl in front of you - one you hadn't seen in almost a year.
"hi, y/n," she breathes out.
"uh," you start, momentarily turning your head back to where your girlfriend was waiting for you in the living room. she notices who's at the door and nods for you to step out, "what are you doing here?"
"can we talk?" she asks, her eyes never leaving yours.
they aren't as bright as you remembered, but they still stared into yours with such deep emotion. you close the front door behind you with a laugh as you walk onto your front porch.
"you wanna talk now? after ten months?" you say incredulously, trying to stay calm.
"y/n, i'm sorry," she apologizes as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants.
"do you even know what you're sorry for?" you ask with a sad shrug of your shoulders.
"i-"
"i'm assuming you don't," you interrupt, tears already stinging your eyes, "because you didn't reach out to me once after senior year. not once."
"i wanted to, y/n, you have to know that," she offers, her breath staggering.
"then why didn't you? i like to think that i deserved some sort of explanation."
"you did- you do. which is why i'm here," she confesses.
"oh really? because i think you're here to get closure. to ease your guilt. am i right?"
"no, i promise that's not what this is-"
"kate," you sigh, "you broke my heart last year. you broke me last year. when i wanted to support you and your dreams, you ghosted me, pushed me away. i wouldn't talk to anyone for weeks because of you, kate, weeks."
your chest heaved as you began spewing out all the emotions you had bottled up since the breakup. you were consumed with anger, betrayal, hurt, and you hadn't dealt with it properly until now.
"y/n," she pleads, tears brimming her eyes.
"no," you deny, "i had finally forgotten about you. i had finally started to live again. and now you decide to come back to ease your conscience before the season starts. i won't let you."
"i just wanna talk," she begs, reaching out for your hand before you step back from her, "please. i know i fucked up, i know i shouldn't have-"
"but you did, kate," you interrupt again, truly not wanting to hear some bullshit apology or sorry excuse of an explanation, "nothing will change that you did."
there's a beat of silence - nothing but the sound of sniffles filled the air.
you observe the blonde before you, her head pointed to the floor as her golden locks hide her face stained with tears. glancing behind her, you notice the rain had begun pouring harder, matching your emotions perfectly.
the rough patter of the raindrops falling onto the concrete mimics the pound of your heart aching in your chest as you feel all your old wounds reopening.
taking a deep breath, you begin to make your way back inside. you're halfway through the door thinking kate has accepted defeat until you hear her speak up.
"i'm sorry, y/n," she repeats, "if i could take it all back, i would do it in a heartbeat."
you bite your lip as you register her words, debating hearing her out before you are coaxed back to reality by your girlfriend calling your name.
"i'm sorry, too, kate," you whisper through staggered breaths, "i'm sorry you that wasted your time here."
and with that, you shut your front door, resting your head on the wood as you try to hold in your sobs and steady your heart rate.
you force yourself to come to terms with the fact that you had just closed a traumatic chapter of your life for good, hoping that you hadn't just made a mistake.
— leilani signing off ! 📁
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hoes4hoseok · 4 months
Text
enhypen as the tortured poets department
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pairings :: ot7 x gn!reader (if i accidentally slipped in a gender-related mistake please let me know!) genres :: angst & fluff warnings :: swearing, alcohol, mentions of food, sorta emotional cheating, reader being down bad ™️ word count :: 2.1k author’s note :: thanks to ogs @sunoosill and @fandomgirl489 for helping me hehe love you guys! also i kind of tried something new with this one, they're actual little fics this time so let's see how it's recieved 😭 that being said i lowkey hate this. i started doubting all my choices once i was like 60% done but this took an embarrassingly long time. also this is unedited because i'm sick of this draft. i hope y'all enjoy though!
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ni-ki as my boy only breaks his favorite toys
“i felt more when we played pretend than with all the kens cause he took my out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts, told me i’m better off, but i’m not”
ni-ki swept 👏 you 👏 off 👏 your 👏 feet 👏 when you first met
because he doesn't seem like he'd necessarily approach a relationship the same way as everyone else just because everyone else is doing it
so when he asked you out he was pretty nonchalant about it (even if that wasn’t how he was feeling)
&& it all felt so romantic because you’d do things like get dessert in the middle of the night & then drive into the hills together 
especially because he didn’t treat you the same way as the other people he dated — a fact his friends confirmed.
he was passive about it all before you.
there wouldn’t be any doubt that he loved you because he most certainly did
not to be cliché but he made you see the world differently! & more importantly, he made you see romantic relationships differently
but you could tell that he had a sense of uncertainty around you
not because he was uncertain about his feelings for you
but an uncertainty that told him that he needed to spend each moment like it could be taken away from him in the blink of an eye
he knew he was feeling too much — he knew you were feeling too much
because ultimately, he was unsure about whether he was right for you.
so he left you, promising that you’d be better off without him.
you weren’t.
sunoo as down bad
“for a moment i knew cosmic love, now i’m down bad, crying at the gym”
sunoo would be such a good boyfriend on paper
he'd buy you flowers & give great hugs, of course, but he'd also be supportive & reassure you when you felt insecure and unsure about your place in the world
that being said, sunoo is not one to string people along
so the moment he realized that he wasn’t 100% in, he made a plan to end things & he did.
&&...losing sunoo fucked you up. it would fuck anyone up, to be fair.
finding out that he was leaving you when the relationship was everything to you would catch you off guard, to say the least.
he probably left feeling proud of himself for doing everything right too LMAO 😭 
&& yes, i don't think it's anything he did that made it so bad
it's just that break-ups suck & you really loved him! even if he “did everything right”
no matter how it transpired, you were still in shambles at the end 
you broke down in tears at the sight of anything that made you think of him
from the smell of gardenias in a grocery store
‘he bought me those 🤧! for our first anniversary 🤧!’
to the most upbeat song you’ve ever heard coming on shuffle while you work out
‘he loved that song’ (even if you couldn’t stand it)
&& you really hoped he was feeling a shred of what you were 
but it sure as hell didn’t seem that way.
jungwon as fresh out the slammer
“all those nights, you kept me going, swirled you into all of my poems”
you & jungwon had a lot of your own problems to deal with the first time you dated
likely because he had a lot on his plate at the time as an idol & you were just at different places in your lives
&& even though your brain was telling you not to, you fell in love fast
he’d taken you to a quiet spot in his hometown that he used to go to when he was overwhelmed as a kid
it was an old swingset at the park where, somehow, everything else had been renovated
the two of you sat there for hours with your hands entwined, talking about your futures 
&& the possibility of them ending in the same place.
it felt childish & implausible, but you wanted to believe it
&&, as the break up proved to you, it was, in fact, childish & implausible to believe that your lives could magically become compatible
you tried to move on, you really did. you dated other people for years. 
one boyfriend stuck around for four years. a coworker. your future with him felt written in stone.
he was good to you, but there was a part of your heart that yearned for more
the part that yearned for the type of connection you had on the swingset all those years ago
you didn't spend that time waiting for jungwon — you accepted that you were going to spend your life content with your boyfriend
but you sometimes thought about what it would be like if you met jungwon under different circumstances or another life where his career wasn’t so controlling and demanding of him
you would smile listening to his music (that you subconsciously hoped was about you) 
&& checked how he was doing online periodically
but then you were single. it was something your boyfriend said about not seeing a future here. not seeing a future with you. when you gave him four years of your life. 
you knew you should have felt more, that you should have been torn apart for months
but a week later, you picked up the phone & dialed the number that had been seared into your brain for six years
“y/n?”
his voice was almost a whisper.
“do you think you could take me to that park again tonight?”
“i’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
“thank you.”
“y/n?”
“yeah?”
“i missed you.”
heeseung as the alchemy
“where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me”
when you started dating heeseung, you knew it would be really easy for him to put you low on his priority list being an idol
&& you wouldn’t have blamed him for that 
because your careers are important, especially at this point in your lives (also your exes probably did that with much less demanding jobs)
but he didn’t! he told you it would be tough but that he’d try his best to make sure you had time together even with his insane packed schedule
&& try he did omg 🤭 that man put in the WORK
he would show up towards the end of your workday just to whisk you off on a date 🫶
which you not-so-secretly loved for two reasons:
one: it reminded you that he loved you & valued your career as much as you valued his
two: he’s really hot. so it’s fun to see everyone’s reaction to him showing up heehee
&& after your workday he’d take you wherever you wanted
but you’re indecisive at times, so he’d just guess sometimes.
it was usually your favorite restaurant or a massage parlor, but once he literally took you to the airport for a getaway? who knows what he has planned lmfao
you loved getting surprised by your boyfriend, of course, but the nights when you were at his concert to support him? those meant the world to you.
you swore that you’d never forget the look on his face when he realized you were in the crowd the first time you surprised him
but honestly? his excitement never faltered. he still wears that childish grin every time he sees you showing up for him
&& the post concert kisses are incomparable to all the others 
because he kisses you like you’re the stars in a rom-com. every. damn. time — whether it’s backstage or in front of 20,000 people.
jay as chloe or sam or sophia or marcus
“if you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say ‘i loved you the way that you were’”
jay was hurting you
with every instagram post he uploaded with a woman you didn’t recognize,
at every red carpet appearance where he had someone else on his arm,
with every polite smile he greeted you with when you crossed paths.
you broke up with him. years ago, at that. you had no right to feel this way.
his mind seemed scattered in your time together & he was unsure about most everything
at first, it had seemed like you were the exception to that.
until you weren’t.
when you broke it off, you told him you loved him. & that maybe you always would.
he might have loved you.
but if that was the case, he never told you.
on occasion, you thought about how he felt seeing you date around aimlessly.
had he done the mature thing & moved on?
did his jaw clench seeing another man kiss you the same way it did before you dated?
did he care about what you were thinking as much as you did about him? 
there were times that you’d stare at his contact, finger hovering above the ‘call’ button
almost hoping your finger would slip so you’d have the chance, the smallest chance to hear him say
“i loved you the way that you were.”
(i really want to write a oneshot about this actually? maybe?)
jake as so high school
“get my car door, isn’t that sweet, then pull me to the backseat, no one’s ever had me, not like you”
jake was so obsessed with you before y’all started dating HEHE probably from the first time that he had a conversation with you!
he was so enthralled by the way you think & see the world
&& he blushed and stumbled on his words every time he talked to you for months & his friends would tease him RELENTLESSLY
he got so nervous before following you on social media that he had to employ his friends to help.
“guys, just press it for me. i can’t look!”
he probably thought about asking you out on many occasions but chickened out for one reason or another every time
but then he saw you at the local convenience store while he was out getting ramen at 2 a.m. — or rather, you saw him.
"jake?" he'd know that voice anywhere. oh god oh god oh god oh god
he needed a moment to compose himself, but he pulled himself together enough to look up at you & greet you properly <3
his stress slipped away fairly fast after that & you found yourselves shopping for your respective midnight snacks together
"have you tried this one? it's probably my favorite limited edition flavor" you had said, pointing to your favorite candy
which, naturally, he responded to by pulling a handful into his basket 😚
you didn't know whether he wanted to try it because you liked it or he was buying it for you, but either way, you found it endearing
after you both paid, jake took your groceries in his other hand, declaring that he'd carry them to your car for you
which, of course, wasn't possible. you had walked.
😧...😟...😶...🤔...☝️😲 "i could give you a ride! i don't want you walking home alone at this hour. or i could call you an uber if you're not comf—"
"i'd really like that"
&& then his heart would damn near explode at the sight of your smile. because how could it not.
he fumbled with the bags before opening the passenger door for you
&& on the drive there he'd stare at you with heart eyes while you talked at every red light
you'd have to tell him it turned green because he was just so distracted hehe
oh my god not this being my second fic about jake driving you home,, 🫣 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I DON'T PLAN THESE I JUST GO WITH WHAT FEELS RIGHT
i'm just hilarious, this does not show anything about what i want irl, absolutely nothing.
sunghoon as i look in people’s windows
"what if your eyes looked up & met mine one more time?"
you & sunghoon had a mutual break up, but it didn't feel that way a month after it happened
especially not when you were walking alone down the street his friend lived on & noticed the light shining through the large window
contrary to what you told yourself (i don’t even care if he’s in there) you approached the warm light warily
you didn’t really know whether you were hoping to see him in there, but you did — he was laughing with a few people, glass of wine in hand
&&…you weren’t expecting a flood of memories to overcome you in the way they did.
memories from when you were invited. memories from when you called them “our” friends & not “his” friends. memories from when you were the one making him laugh.
you didn’t notice your mouth fall agape or the tears welling in your eyes until sunghoon met your gaze with a tilt of his head, his smile falling as he registered your presence
for a moment, your mind rushed to decipher the look on his face — the way his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, the way his mouth fell agape too — the same expressions you used to be able to read so well.
finally tearing your gaze from sunghoon, you noticed his friends turning back to look out for whatever it was that made their friend so unsettled
they never saw you. you ran before they could.
perhaps if you had stayed a moment longer, you would have heard the front door open.
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txt version ☆ midnights version ☆ masterlist
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