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ok poll time because im curious..
“memories from your childhood” meaning any time up to ~18 years old, or if you’re younger than that up to your current age!
if you answer “some of it” and want to share in the tags what that means for you that’d be awesome!
hope you all have an easy day today <3
#i only have a handful of memories before the age of like.. 17/18#like i can literally count the memories i have on 1 hand lol#but ive heard that some systems can remember most/all of their childhoods#so i got curious what the standard level of memory is!#cutieposts#actually did#dissociative identity disorder#did polls#endos dni#this is for traumagenic systems!
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Microdosing polyamory by dating a system
#my bf does not have DID but I like to tell him that he’s microdosing polyamory#system tag#did system#plural system#osdd system#traumagenic system#sysblr#dissociative system#system stuff#dissociation#dissociative identity disorder#actually dissociative#other specified dissociative disorder#complex dissociative disorder#dissociative amnesia#dissociative alters#dissociative identities#did memes#did#did osdd#did alter#did community#actually did#hc did#plurality#pluralgang#plural community#plural stuff#plural memes
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Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.
Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.
Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.
Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?
Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.
Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.
Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.
There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.
This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.
#did system#plural#actually plural#plurality#system things#actually did#plural system#system metaphor#traumagenic system#dissociative#actually dissociative#dissociative identity disorder#dissociative system#no syscourse#syscourse neutral
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DID IS NOT RARE DID IS NOT RARE DID IS NOT RARE DID IS NOT RARE DID IS NOT-
#transgender#lgbtqiaplus#did osdd#actually did#traumagenic did#did system#did alter#did community#osddid#actually osdd#osdd system#osdd#plural system#plurality#pluralgang#actually plural#plural community
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#actually dissociative#did#dissociation#dissociative identity disorder#dissociative system#osdd#did system#traumagenic did#traumagenic osdd#trauma#actually bpd#bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#borderline pd#manic depression#manic depressive#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mental illness#mental health
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Plurality
#transgender#art#my art#transgirl#illustration#original art#transisbeautiful#comics#oc#plural system#actually plural#plurality#did/osdd#did osdd#did system#osdd system#traumagenic system
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one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.
you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.
most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.
it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.
and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.
past, present, and future.
#did osdd#did system#plural system#sysblr#actually plural#system stuff#traumagenic#traumagenic system#system positivity#osdd#system community#dissociative system#osddid#actually did#actually dissociative#dissociative identity disorder
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My brain at six years old when something traumatic happened
#posted by 🔥#octocon#DID#osdd#did osdd#osddid#traumagenic osdd#traumagenic did#actually traumagenic#did system#did things#actually did#did alter#did community#osdd system#dissociative system#traumagenic system
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a comic about my experience with other people's perception of my DID/OSDD. might do more pages in the future? we'll see.
#did#osdd#did system#did osdd#osddid#actually traumagenic#actually did#system#dissociative system#traumagenic system#cdd#candyrain speaks#candyrain art
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#did osdd#traumagenic system#did#did system#osdd#osdd system#osddid#system#plural system#traumagenic did#system memes#did memes
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saw this on pinterest and thought it might be something traumagenic systems who struggle with thinking their trauma isn't enough need to see
#traumatized#trauma#actually traumatized#did osdd#actually did#dissociation#did system#did alter#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#osddid#osdd system#traumagenic system#traumagenic#childhood trauma#trauma recovery#imposter syndrome#by the way feel free to reblog with other mental health tags im just too tired for it today#system#plural system#system stuff#system things#system positivity#plural positivity#plurality#plural community#actually plural
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Remember that it is officially disability pride month now. it is just as important as lgbtq+ pride month. we exist. we are being hurt by the system as it is now. we will not be silenced or placated. disabled is not a bad word.
#endos dni#traumagenic system#chronic illness#spoonie#chronic pain#elhers danlos syndrome#potsie#pots syndrome#pots#actually disabled#invisible disability#disabled#disability#disability pride month#disabilties
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what i feel like is lacking from conversations about plurality is how genuinely, fundamentally cool it is to be plural. doesnt it fascinate you how our brains can create entirely new selves, inner worlds, inner structures to keep itself afloat? doesnt it make you so curious? especially with regards to atypical plural experiences. i dont hate people for having entire systems full of fragments or fictives or subsystems. in fact, i find it wonderful, a miracle of the mind. you have a complicated inner world with unique lore? incredible, how did that develop? your entire system is full of fictives from the same source? thats amazing, hows that going? your system has entire layers on itself, with several systems running in tandem? wow, thats fascinating, how did you know? you believe you came from different worlds? tell me about them. please, tell me more about yourselves. id love to hear it. i do not fear the potential of the human brain.
#💙 cass#💿 red#<- typing#pluralgang#endo safe#endogenic#traumagenic#median system#multiple system#plural discussion#being a complicated plural doesnt scare me i find it beautiful#oh and btw before you say something stupid: yes this extends to people with hallucinations and delusions as well.#we extend this to all mental experiences. the mind is fascinating#approaching mental experiences with intrigue instead of disgust would open so many avenues for us as a species#but noooo yall are too busy upholding capitalist ideals. barf
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i hate how a lot of people who believe systems are faking DID are like well if you were actually a system it would be debilitating and you’d never joke about it
like i’m sorry the concept that i experienced childhood abuse and now i have nagito komaeda in my head is funny get over it
#did system#did community#dissociative identity disorder#did alter#dissociation#osddid#dissociative identities#dissociative amnesia#traumagenic system#fictive
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fuck it we ball
#actually dissociative#did#dissociation#dissociative identity disorder#dissociative system#osdd#did system#traumagenic did#traumagenic osdd#trauma#bpd#adhd#actually adhd
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Reminder
DID isn't just having fun people in your head
Along with shifts in personality, it's often times:
amnesia: 'waking up' with no memory of what's going on
travelling and having no idea where you are or how you got there
dizziness
confusion
spacing out
headaches
feeling broken & worthless
fear
not knowing why or how you're wearing what you're wearing
nausea
pain
anxiety
finding things amongst your belongings you don't remember acquiring
time loss
depression
suicidal ideation & action
spikes in inexplicable emotion, especially anger, fear, and shame
body and voice dysphoria
depersonalization & derealisation
loss of control
hearing voices
finding injuries you don't remember getting
self harm
not recognising friends/family/colleagues
forgetting important events (birthdays, parties, graduations etc)
mood shifts with seemingly no trigger
finding notes in similar handwriting but something about it is slightly off
flashbacks: somatic flashbacks, nightmares, split second flashbacks to 'little things' but not getting more detail
bed wetting
age regression
inadvertently lying, or being questioned if you have
feeling like your body isn't yours
knowing something is wrong, but not what
wondering why your body doesn't align with your perceived sex (for alters whose gender/sex don't align with the body)
watching your body do things and having no control over it (feeling like a puppet or like playing a video-game in 3rd person)
mass fluctuations in libido: fluctuations from hypersexual to zero sexual desire
not being sure if things really happened, or whether you imagined/thought about them
identity confusion
+ many more
I have two book recommendations DID experiences: "All Of Me" by Kim Noble, and "The Girl in The Green Dress" by Jeni Haynes. Please check trigger warnings.
#go read “All of me” by Kim Nobel for more information about this - the host didn't know she was pregnant#or how her baby turned up in her house#DID#osdd#did osdd#did system#osddid#osdd system#osdd community#osdd plurality#system#osdd alter#dissociative system#DID system#actually dissociative#did community#traumagenic did#traumagenic system#actually did#did things#did alter#posted by 🐚
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