#this is one of those days that makes me wonder if i'm even capable of writing

[akirakirxaa]

FFXIVWrite Prompt 29: Contravention

Rating: G

Word Count: 262

Warnings: None

Summary: Persephone needs something and she needs Hythlodaeus' help to get it. [This is so bad and it's not canon to anything because I hate how it turned out so just bear with me I just needed the credit for the prompt.]

Master Post

Hythlodaeus was looking over some concepts when he heard a knock at the door. Setting aside the papers, he called for the visitor to enter, and was pleasantly surprised by the appearance of the current Azem, Persephone, poking her head in with a somewhat impish grin.

“Seph!” he greeted with a familiar warmth; he didn’t share his office, so no decorum needed to be observed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I was hoping you could help me find a concept? I need it for some…work I’m doing,” she slid a paper across the desk detailing her request. He glanced over it, eyes widening.

“Persephone, this—“

“I know, I know, but please, you know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important!”

“This could lose me my job,” he sighed, leveling her with a weary look.

“No one will know!” she insisted. “It’ll be back before anyone notices.”

“Hades will find out within the hour, I guarantee it.”

“He would never do anything to harm you,” she removed her mask to better leverage her pleading gaze. “Besides, he’ll be more mad at me than anyone else. Please?” They stared each other down for several moments before Hythlodaeus wrote something on the paper and slid it back.

“Do try not to make too much of a mess with it,” he couldn’t hide the tiny smirk, and she danced across the room to plant a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, love!” she snagged the paper with the location of the concept, Ifrita, written on it and scampered out of the room.

[louisa-gc]

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

[dead-boys-club]

†  do you love me? : the fatui.

❥ scenario: their mute s/o asking if they love them. ❥ no triggers ❥ i don't have any beta readers - you get what you get. ❥ requested. [ my pending isn't updated, it's a liar. ]

you had thought over it for a while, curious as to where you actually stood with your lover, no.. partner? did they love you? as your curiosity grew to a sickening need for an answer, you decided to write your question down, small and neat; 'do you love me?' before approaching to hand the paper off.

❥ la signora.

as she took the paper from you, you'd be unable to read her expression, something that was awfully common. you couldn't help but become slightly anxious as a few moments of silence went by, giving her the time to process the question. you had learned that signora was a very complex someone, someone who was guarded and difficult to read, but you had grown to understand those things about her. when she finally looked to you, there was a warmth in her gave and she set the paper down, now folded in half. she wouldn't have much to say, a simple 'yes' being whispered, full of sincerity and adoration for you, even if her expression didn't match. she reached out to cup your cheeks, the touch tender with her gloved hands, and she leaned to press a kiss to your forehead. it wasn't easy for her to express how she felt but she would never allow you to live with doubts on how she felt for you.

❥ scaramouche.

unlike signora, scara's response would be heavily complicated. he would be reluctant to take the paper to begin with, his expression immediately showing discomfort and clear distaste. love had never been something that worked out for him very well, nor did he understand it as much as others - love was one of the reasons his life had been filled with betrayal and manipulation. he was wary of emotions to begin with but love held a different kind of weight - it was almost like the word alone left a bitter taste at the back of his throat. he would quickly narrow his sharp eyes, masking the vulnerability with agitation. 'what kind of stupid question is this?' it would have hurt you had their been any malice to his tone. even as he crumpled up the paper and tossed it away, you could see some type of softness slipping through the cracks. it would take time but after a few minutes, he'd glance to you, gaze softening slightly. 'i don't know,' he admitted, voice quiet as he decided to be honest, 'i don't know if that's something i'm capable of but.. i don't hate you, if that's what you're worried about.' for scara, that was the closest thing to a confession you'd be getting and you understood and accepted that. besides.. he was a lot better with his actions than his words, even if he didn't realize.

❥ childe.

childe is always happy to accept your notes, be it during full conversations, asking him about missions, and so forth. with that happy expectation, he took the paper, only to falter briefly before a warm smile formed. 'of course i do,' he answered without hesitation. he'd wave the little piece of paper between two fingers before setting it down, 'this is a silly question.' he wasn't being demeaning, just pointing out what he thought - hoped - was obvious to you. his arms would find their way around you, hugging you close to lift you off your feet with a soft chuckle. 'why would you even feel the need to ask that?' childe had always done everything in his power to make sure his love was open and honest, being hidden from no one because he never wanted you to doubt him. he would actually wonder if he'd done something wrong that lead you to asking but it would be put on the back burner for later. 'you're one of the most important people in my life,' he whispered as he set you down, pressing a kiss right below your ear, 'and, i'll always love you.'

❥ dottore.

you knew such a question could leave you with an aching heart but you'd prepared yourself before hand, knowing the day you agreed to be the doctor's lover, it may not be in such a manner. as he took the paper from you, he read over it with an impassive expression, which you'd expected nothing less. minutes passed as he worked through your question. love was not something dottore considered valuable - emotions, in general, were considered a hindrance to him. love, most of all, was the worst there was. the paper was set down without an answer as he returned to his work, leaving you lost and hurt, despite knowing this would be the outcome. you began to turn on your heel to leave when he glanced to you. 'love is a trivial thing,' he said coldly, almost bitter. 'it's a distraction and a weakness.' you stopped yourself from frowning. contrasting his words, as you looked closely at him, you found something - a hint of conflict that told you there was more he wasn't willing to acknowledge. dottore never was one to answer things directly but his actions - his way of keeping you close, keeping you safe and granting you attention in ways no one else was allowed - that was enough, you decided.

❥ arlecchino.

she would take the paper from you and take no time in reading it, her expression calm. she isn't brought to emotional response easily - you were sure you'd never seen her flustered. she set the paper down with a thoughtful hum before looking at you, her gaze gentle. 'love isn't something i give easily or take lightly,' she answered, steady and serious, 'but if i didn't care for you deeply, you would not be here.' in another of situation or context, you'd have taken the words as a threat but instead, they calmed any frayed nerves. arle's way of showing how she feels is protective and pragmatic, something that doesn't rely on cheap words. she wouldn't give flowery words or pointless gestures - but she would make sure you felt valued in your relationship. 'yes, i do.' she finally admitted, her tone leaving no room for doubt, even as she turned away from you. 'you are mine, and i protect what's mine.'

❥ columbina.

immediately going off of your facial expression, she knew she didn't need to read the paper to know the type of question you had, a gentle, knowing smile forming. columbina is the most attuned to emotions, her own and others, especially yours. she would quickly be able to feel the vulnerability and doubt behind your written word. without hesitation, she collected your hand in her own, making sure to hold your gaze. 'yes,' she said easily, 'i love you more than words will ever be able to express.' columbina leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your cheek. 'you needn't doubt that,' she whispered, letting your hand go only to pull you into a hug, her eyes closing, 'i always will, beloved.' her love was soft, open and nurturing, a presence that never ceased and you almost felt guilty for doubting her. she had done her best to make sure you felt cherished and adored and she would continue to do so.

❥ pantalone.

he wouldn't question why you were suddenly handing him paper but he would be curious, eyes shining with interest as he read the question. panta is a man who sees emotions as secondary to his ambitions and goals, especially with his wealth and power. however, he wouldn't hesitate to admit that you, are different. this may be something that lead you to thinking you were more of a possession than a lover - he would be smart enough to figure out where the doubt blossomed from. folding the paper neatly, he set it down and let a thoughtful smile show, turning his attention to you. 'love, like any valuable asset, is not something i take lightly,' he began, head tilting slightly, 'but you, my dear.. are more precious than anything to me.' reaching out to you, his fingertips brushed over the apple of your cheek. 'yes,' he answered directly, 'i love you, and i will make sure you never doubt that again.' like the others, panta's love is often expressed through actions - keeping you comfortable and safe, your happiness being of utmost importance to him.

❥ il capitano.

he would take the paper without a second thought, reading the words slowly and feeling the weight of them. it would take him a moment to find how to answer, knowing if he was careless, it would bring you unnecessary hurt. love has never been something capitano was accustomed to, not when his life was outlined and defined by duty, loyalty and the cold fate of a soldier. he briefly wondered if love was something he could feel or understand. would he know if he was in love? after what seemed like an eternity, he would slowly set the paper down and look to you, speaking just as careful. 'love is a concept i have little experience with,' he began, his tone apologetic, 'i do care for you, deepy.. your wellbeing, your happiness. i want to keep you safe.' his answer would be straightforward, almost as though he was searching through his own words. he wished he could use the same pretty, poetic words he'd heard in passing, but that wasn't possible. 'if that is love,' he nodded slowly, 'then, yes, i do love you.' he wouldn't be as confident in those words as he wanted to be but he felt as thought it was as close to what you wanted to hear as he could get.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Fellow Honest - Playful Dress Vignette

"My stars, a grave insult!"

[Scalding Sands – Silk City]

Fellow: Now, ladies and gentlemen!

Fellow: What you are about to see here is a one-of-a-kind wonder.

Fellow: This is truly a genuinely invaluable show you are about to witness.

[rabble, rabble]

Fellow: Nice, them people're finally startin' to gather…!

Fellow: If you're interested in what I have to show, please, drop a few madol in this can over here. Any amount is fine～!

Fellow: And now, feast your eyes…

Fellow: On this… A one-of-a-kind puppet that can walk on its own without strings!

Fellow: What do you think, Mister? Madam? Doesn't it look so life-like? Amazing, is it not!?

Fellow: This exquisite beastman doll is the only one of its kind.

Fellow: You all are fortunate indeed to see such a fantastical sight. If your interest was piqued, I implore you to leave a token of appreciation…

[rabble, rabble]

Fellow: …Eh? It's not a puppet? A normal living being?

Fellow: HOW RUDE! WHAT EVIDENCE HAVE YOU FOR YOUR ACCUSATION!?

Fellow: Please, look carefully. It might be able to move without strings, but even if I poke or tickle it, it won't even cry out or laugh.

Fellow: It is a beautifully crafted puppet. Yes, that's right, there can be no question.

[Gidel nods]

Fellow: Ah, stop, Gidel!

Fellow: …It moved? Oh no, it must have just been a trick of the eye.

Fellow: Or, are you perhaps trying to insinuate that I, Fellow Honest, am a liar?

Fellow: You didn't mean it…? Ahhh, oh, but you've hurt my feelings so～!

Fellow: I've been known as Honest John, a man of integrity, pure and innocent, and yet you would call me a liar…

Fellow: I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SUFFER SUCH A DAY! MY STARS, A GRAVE INSULT!

Fellow: Hey now, Mister. Since you've damaged my pride like this, feels like you should provide me with a show of good faith and…

Gidel: [sneeze]

Fellow: AH!!

Fellow: U-Uhh… Ladies and gentlemen, I… Hm? You want your money and time back? …No need to get so angry… Hahaha…

Fellow: …Crap.

Fellow: RUN, GIDEL!!

Fellow: Haah… Pant, pant… Did we lose them?

Fellow: …YOU NITWIT! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE RIGHT THEN TO SNEEZE!?

Fellow: Just a little longer and we woulda gotten something extra on top of their spectator fees!

Gidel: …

Fellow: Ugh, whatever. ...All we got to show for that in the end was just a little bit of spare change…

Fellow: …And whatever small bits and bobs of jewelry they had on them.

Fellow: I stealthily swiped them with my magic while those idiots were all focused on you, but there's not much here. Shame.

Fellow: This dump ain't worth staying in. Time to move on, Gidel! Fwahaha!

[Fairest City – Crystal Galleria]

Fellow: Look carefully, fair people! What I have here is a magestone. However, this is no ordinary magestone.

Fellow: The date: 1000 years ago; the place: the depths leagues below the Coral Sea. This magestone was said to be sought even by the Great Seven!

Fellow: It may look like an ordinary pebble. So, what makes this an extraordinary find? Once you hear what I have to say, you'll never recover from the shock!

Fellow: Listen and be amazed! This is a miraculous stone where whosoever holds it becomes capable of using magic!

Gidel: ! [honks horn]

Fellow: For you, ladies and gentlemen, I risked life and limb searching high and low for this in the most secluded southern regions.

Fellow: There is only one of these gemstones in existence. We'll start the bidding at 50,000 madol (500 Thaumarks)! Come, come, all who are interested, please raise up a hand!

[silence]

Fellow: …Huh, no one wants to raise a hand? What, do I have before me a gaggle of broke spectators?

Fellow: Heh, gutless, all of you. Ah, but damn it all! Is there not a single one among you with the courage to reach out and grasp the miracle laid out before you!?

Fellow: With icy demeanors like that, even my fleas will laugh at me.

Fellow: …I'm sure you all are simply thinking there's no way you could trust vagabonds like us, isn't that right?

Fellow: You think I'm selling you a fake? You think you'll be wasting your money?

Fellow: Aah, that's no good, my dear fellows! If you mistrust me so fervently, it's not as fun...

Fellow: Don't worry. If you believe in what I tell you, there's nothing for you to be afraid of.

Fellow: COME ON TO THE THEATER!

Fellow: LIFE IS FUN

Fellow: …Ah, there we go, that was quick. 80,000 madol from the gent over there! And 100,000 madol from the one over here!

Fellow: A good call, everyone! With such wise decision-making skills, you all have a future scholar inside you!

Fellow: Fwahahaha! Look at 'em idiots believing at whatever stupid story I throw their way!

Fellow: A magestone that'll give you the ability to use magic～? If something like that really existed, I'd've used it myself.

Fellow: Even the guys who were the most skeptical leapt at the chance once I used my Unique Magic. I sure enjoy pulling the wool over idiots who try to look down on me.

Fellow: Hm, let's see how much we earned today…

Fellow: Two, four, six, eight… Oho, not a bad haul. Look, Gidel, we'll be feasting tonight!

[Gidel hops happily]

Fellow: Word's probably got around by now, especially after I raked in this much. This might be the end of the line for our earnings here…

Gidel: …

Fellow: What? You want to head south this time?

Fellow: Not a bad idea. How 'bout we target vacationers at them fancy resorts?

Fellow: Let's see if we can kindly crash their little enjoyable vacations.

Fellow: …Yeah, that's perfect. You're a genius, Gidel. This time, we'll be the fancy, rich folk out on vacation.

Fellow: We go where we want, when we want. We have nothing and no one tying us down.

Fellow: That's the least we deserve as free-spirited folk!

[Sunset Savanna – Sunrise City]

Fellow: EEEEP～～! I PROMISE, I WON'T DO ANYTHING BAD ANYMORE, I PROMISE!

Fellow: HELP～～～!

[Sunset Savanna – Sunrise City]

Fellow: SHIT! THAT MASSIVE CHEAPSKATE!

Fellow: They were carrying around a crazy fat wallet. They could've spared even a little bit and nothing woulda hurt their bottom line.

Fellow: Yet they caused a fuss just from me trying to swipe a few thousand madol… Ouuuch, it's still throbbing where they hit me.

[stomachs gurgle]

Fellow: Man, I'm starving. It's gonna suck to go another night without dinner.

Fellow: Ain't there something we can find to eat…?

[Gidel starts to drift away]

Fellow: …Hey, wait, Gidel! Don't open that can!

Fellow: Geez… Don'tcha see what it says right here? It's got OIL inside. You can't eat it, even if you open it.

Fellow: You do the same thing every time you're hungry. I've taught you dozens of times, can't you read what it says?

Gidel: …

Fellow: C'mon, squat here a little. I'll draw it out on the ground, so don't forget this time, 'kay?

Fellow: O is for Orange! It looks round and tasty, don't it?

Fellow: I is for Ice Cream! That thin, ice popsicle was pretty tasty the other day, wasn't it?

Fellow: L is for laugh! Don't it look like a smile when you look at it on it's side?

Fellow: …Why is L the only thing that's not food? I couldn't think of anything, so sue me.

Fellow: There's only so much I can teach you, too.

Fellow: Tch. If I had been able to go to school… By now I woulda been more…

[Gidel pats Fellow]

Gidel: …

Fellow: What? We don't need school to fill our bellies?

Fellow: Sigh, oh, Gidel. You know, you're…

Fellow: TOTALLY RIGHT!!

Fellow: That's right, we're living just fine even without going to school.

Fellow: Learning whatever with books and pencils is utter nonsense.

Fellow: We'll just clean out those suckers that went though their oh so lovely education, and just live a life that's even fuller.

Gidel: !

Fellow: That's right, leave it to me! Follow me, kid, and one day, you'll be a grand showstopper too.

Fellow: We'll get some halfwit students to dance for us on a stage for our own amusement!

Fellow: Now… What's more important right now is figuring out what we're going to eat tonight. I'll try to find something, so you start a fire.

Fellow: Just throw whatever you find into the fire, like wooden crates, or posters or… Hm?

Fellow: This job posting here… Oh, well, well!

Fellow: Look here, Gidel, That one prick is looking to hire someone. And this time, it's at an amusement park!

Fellow: I don't know what they're planning, but… Last time we did work for 'em, we made a killing.

Fellow: I can't stand how he looks down on us, but there's a lot more to gain out of it…

Fellow: Why don't we just go hear them out, Gidel? If we don't like it, we can just bail.

Fellow: We live only for today, never thinking about what tomorrow might bring. We do whatever work keeps our lives free and fun. 'Cause we can go and do whatever we want.

[Gidel nods, Fellow whistles as they go off]

Requested by @sakurakudo.

[chuwenjie]

Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse comes out later today so I wanted to write a post reflecting on my journey and experience working on this movie. So many people have supported me through this and I am so thankful to each and every one of you!

Text version of this post under the cut:

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse comes out tonight. It feels really weird to be typing that out right now. I worked on the movie as a visdev artist for the last 2.5 years, from 2020 to 2023. Long post incoming.

There are a lot of reasons why I'd consider this film to be one of the most ambitious animated films to ever be made. As artists, we were asked to push ourselves far beyond our comfort zones and do things that had never been done before in animation.

Every time we reached a point where most people would say "this must possibly be as creative and weird as it gets," our entire team of artists and animators would smash right through the ceiling. The driving direction for the visuals of the film was to push the limits of every single frame; to challenge audience expectations and make something truly original.

The best thing about this film was that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie. The hardest thing about this film was also that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie.

There were times while working on this where the imposter syndrome hit me hard. This was my first big movie, and what a hell of a first movie to get thrust into.

I came in only a few years out of school with absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I constantly feared that someone had made a mistake in bringing me onto this film, and I was going to let everyone down. There was a solid chunk of those 2.5 years where I wasn't sure if animation was the right path for me.

If there's anything I could tell my past self it would be this: there are so many people who love you and believe in you. There will be a time when you get to stand on the other side of it, look back on everything and see how far you came.

I'm still working on self-acceptance every day (it will be a lifelong struggle, I'm sure), but I'm glad I didn't give up on myself. I'm proud of myself and my contributions to this film, and I'm certain that this movie will continue to change and shape the animation landscape just as the first one did. That's truly a special feeling to have been a part of. I am so incredibly grateful to every single person who helped me along this journey.

Here come the thanks:

To the ENTIRE visdev & art crew- it's been an honor getting to work alongside each and every one of you. My jaw is literally still on the floor from seeing your incredible talent day after day.

I want to thank Tiffany and Felicia especially for being there for me through tough times- I admire and respect you both so much as artists, and even better than that, my life is greatly enriched for being able to call you my friends.

Thank you Patrick and Dean for taking chances on me, teaching me so much about art and what I'm capable of, and encouraging me along the way. To Aymeric, your art is one of the reasons I initially became interested in animation and you have been one of the kindest & most empathetic mentors I could ever have asked for.

I want to thank my wonderful parents for believing in me always and raising me into the person I am today: everything I do in life is to make you proud. To my brother Andrew who is perpetually awake at 3 AM when I need someone to talk to- thank you for always picking up the phone and making me laugh.

And finally to my partner Luke for making me grilled cheeses on all of the difficult days, for never getting sick of me even when all I would ever talk about was work, and for patiently and steadfastly loving me throughout this entire thing. I don't think I could've done it without you.

Starting tomorrow I will begin posting and sharing some of the art I made for this movie; I'm looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with you. I hope each and every one of you enjoys Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse when it hits theaters later today!

[yandereunsolved]

ღ Yandere Richard 'Dick' Grayson ღ

"We gotta stop meeting like this, y'know? You and me, the fighting vigilante versus the mysterious villain."

The villain that has unfortunately captured my heart.

"Take a fight with me serious for once!"

"I can't. You just look so cute when you're angry at me."

I bet you look even more adorable under that mask of yours.

"When I get my hands on you—"

"You'll do sinful things that would make a nun blush?"

From what I have gathered from stalking you, you are more than capable of that.

"Incorrect. I'm going to murder you."

"You can't even seem to land a hit on me, sweeheart."

It's funny that after all of these fights, you still think you could outdo me in combat.

"Fuck you."

"I enthusiastically consent to that."

We'd have a good time as well. I wonder how experienced you are. It'd be a lot easier to tell if I could just tell who you are beneath the suit and mask.

"Ugh, Nightwing!"

"I love how my name spills from those pretty lips of yours."

If only it was my real name.

"Argh— Stop flirting with me."

"Only if you finally give in and become Mx. Nightwing."

Please, say yes.

"Never."

"You will one day." I'll make you if I have to.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

X♡X♡ [SEVEN DAYS] Day 3

If you gave him your heart, your soul, your body- what would he do to those things? Maybe it's time to see if he can handle your love for once, and not just the other way around.

Tags/Warnings: Porn with a lot of plot basically, inexperienced!reader, Dom!Jungkook, BDSM themes and elements, mild Angst, fluff, slow burn but we'regetting somewhere, they have mad chemistry but mc has trust issues, mentions of past domestic abuse (mental), Outercourse (basically non-penetrative sex except with a dildo), toys, Cumplay, it's messy smh, hand kink? Increased authority from kook

Length: ~5k words

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜.♡

A/N: you'll never be able to imagine how much I struggled reconnecting with this fic. This was torture. I hated this fic so much at some point. I'm not proud of this part but if I don't get this out I'll never be able to continue this series.

-> Masterlist

◇━━━━━━━━━━X♡X♡━━━━━━━━━━━◇

Jungkook has really nice hands.

Not just in a sensual or sexual sense, but in general. They're big but not intimidating, because the way he uses them is never in a mean or hurtful way. They're soft, and kind, and they also look very nice. Masculine, and strong, veins underneath the skin sometimes a bit more visible than other times, but they also hold a certain softness to them. His nails are well taken care of, only his thumb sometimes giving you a hint of a nervous habit.

They're uniquely Jungkook. Rough, but not to be feared. Gentle, but with the potential to lead. Capable. Handsome.

They're his main way of exploring your skin too- his fingers often used to make shivers run up your spine, palms warm as they feel every curve of you. He doesn't need to look at what he's doing ever it seems like, hands having minds of their own every time they touch you.

Like a separate entity almost, listening obediently to their master's command.

You slowly wake up from your nap, feeling actually refreshed, when Jungkook walks in from the door, giving you a hint to what must've woken you up. "Oh- You're up." He smiles, walking closer with a plastic bag, though his first mission is to press his hands into the softness of the couch before he kisses your cheek. "Here- let me show you something." He impishly chuckles, sitting down on his shins, before he opens the bag on the bed.

You're in a state of shock for a good moment, not even having noticed him move.

He's got the audacity to laugh over your shoulder, front pressed into your back, hands teasing your sides as they sneak up your loose shirt.

"Bought one that's about my size." He purrs sensually, almost like he's mocking you. But it's not malicious- playful, if anything, but not mean in any way. "So you can call it.. practice." He explains, while you stare at the nearly clear pink dildo that's staring at you, still packaged together with other things in the black plastic bag in your lap.

"Jungkook.. when did you even buy those things?" You wonder, feeling almost scared to touch any of the things inside.

"Earlier, when you were napping." He shrugs easily, hand reaching past your body to shamelessly dump the contents of the bag on the bed, bag flying somewhere on the floor. "Anything look like an absolute no-go to you?" He asks curiously, and you look without touching.

There's an egg-shaped item there you're not too sure of what it might be. The dildo explains itself, clearly- and the other massage wand is also pretty self-explanatory. There's two bottles of lube- one pink, the other blue. A.. plug, with a pretty pink gemstone on one end of it. Leather handcuffs, with soft looking fur on the inside. Overall, nothing immediately makes you uncomfortable.

You don't know what gives you the confidence for your next comment you blurt out though. "Don't you have any toys?" You ask him bluntly. "Like, for yourself? Or do you just.. use your partner's body for stuff?" You wonder, and he looks at you with a sharp gaze, a smirk growing on his lips.

"I wouldn't mind using your body, that's for sure." He flirts, leaning his head a bit to the side. "Why would I need toys if I've got you?" He fakes innocence as he asks that question without expecting any answer- And for a moment, you don't give one.

But something about his flirty comment bothers you.

Maybe because you hear someone else in your head again- all the men who've degraded you over the course of time. Your ex. Your friends. Your father. You hear them laugh yet again like you're pathetic and worth nothing.

"I don't want to be used." You deny with a flat tone, and it's clear from the slight change in his eyes that he's now on high alert at your every word spoken by mouth and body language, so he can figure out what happened to change your mood like that. "I don't just want to be.. a toy you get bored off and toss away at some point just to pick it back up once you're interested again." You say, drawing a clear line.

You're not sure how he might react to this. You didn't want to make a statement like that, but you can't mask the truth. You really are scared of getting hurt at the end of this- you don't want him to just play around and then let you go.

You don't want to go. You want to stay- You want him to want you to stay.

He says your name to gain your attention, voice low and steady, horribly gentle- and it makes your eyes sting as you realize that this is the first time a man has ever spoken in such a tone to you. He notices the way your eyes begin to gloss over- and it hurts him too, the fact that you're hurting.

"This isn't just something fun to me. I think I might not have made it clear." He says, staying away from you as to not invade your little bubble you're in, letting you have your safety. "I don't know what happened to you in the past to be so full of distrust towards anything good offered to you-" He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "-but I promise you, this isn't just a game to me."

"Then what is this." You say quietly, scared. "I'm scared that we're not on the same page here and that we're walking down to entirely separate paths." You complain pitifully with your back hunched over and head hanging low.

"That's because we are." He chuckles softly. "I'm trying to hold your hand here so we don't lose each other- but you're not holding it." Jungkook offers.

"I don't understand-" you shake your head, when as you look up again, his face is right in front of yours, eyes looking at your lips.

"Then let me help you." He hums towards you, before his lips press onto yours. And your body freezes.

Because he's never kissed you like this before- tender, calm and without any lust in it whatsoever. In fact, your realize only now that you've never been kissed without any hidden intentions or something to gain in mind. This kiss is soft, it's no words needed, it's love confessed in physical form. You've never been kissed like this. Ever.

And even more so, you're pretty sure he hasn't actually kissed you at all either- not until now, at least.

And it's all so confusing now, because you want to trust him, you want to just lean into him and let him have his way with you- but the fear inside you is still there, clutching your limbs, leaving you with no way to move anywhere- neither away from him, nor closer. You're currently stuck in place, and it's only a matter of time until he grows tired of you and your constant push and pull behavior.

You're hurting him, you know this.

Especially because you're kissing him back, giving him hope for something you might not be able to give him. You're cruel, aren't you? And the worst is that he probably knows even that.

Because once you start to cry, once you sob and cling to him like a touch-starved pet, letting all of those pent up emotions out because who cares, he doesn't say anything, doesn't ask what's wrong. He just holds you, gives you that moment, keeps your pieces collected in his palms for you to put back together later with his help. And you're not sure how many times you can do this.

Or how long he's willing to participate in this.

◇━━━━━━━━━━X♡X♡━━━━━━━━━━━◇

Since Jungkook didn't make a move the entire morning, you've been spending it entertaining yourself as to not get bored. Not in a sexual way-

but by simply trying to see how strong his patience is.

It's a new feeling you've developed after just two days of being with him- confidence, and trust in that he won't ever hurt you whatsoever. No consequences he could come up with would ever truly put you in harms way, you absolutely believe in that. But what's disappointing was how he didn't ever get past a clench of his jaw, or a tilt of his head. He'd just.. let you do whatever, and never do anything to somehow discipline you.

It made you wonder. Is he even such an intimidating 'Dom' at all, or did he just make that up?

However, after talking about it after lunch, he's finally opened up to you too- having told you that he's gonna trust you too, that he'll be more open with you and his own desires, while you'll have to be honest about when he's going too far or too fast. And you agree- you want him to trust you too, want him to relax more around you as well.

After all, he wants to get to know you too, right? Not just the other way around.

What you did not take into account though, is that now, your actions actually will have consequences- and he will indeed put you back into your place in one way or another. And even if in that very moment where you piss him off he isn't reacting- he will remember those actions to remind you of them, later, when you don't even expect it.

Just like now, as he's finished some calls he had to make, finally finding time again for you. "I'm sorry- I technically told the studio not to contact me on my break." He hums into your hair, as you sit with him on the small sofa in his office, having practically demanded his attention back on you the moment he'd put his phone down, and he'd been visibly amused by it. Unbeknownst to you, he's more than just excited- after all, it feels like your week is finally gaining traction, as you no longer step around in the dark trying to navigate around obstacles that aren't even there.

He's just been too scared to scare you. But by now, it's clear that you're not. And it makes him eager to explore now that he can actually see where he's going with you.

There's a hand under your shirt, cropped top and cotton shorts nothing more than decoration really, considering he's already seen you naked. It's nothing too sensual technically- but at this point, you feel like something might be wrong with you. Because even a simple touch like this makes you.. needy.

He reaches over to the side, plastic bag rustling- and now you're actually starting to get antsy. Because there's only one bag next to the couch- the one that's containing all the different items Jungkook had bought this morning as he'd told you. And that's exactly what he's grabbing for it seems like, as he moves his arms a little to take out one of the items you weren't too sure about- already unpacked for some reason, as he holds it out for your hand to take.

"What is that?" You ask, fingers running over the smooth, silicone surface, while he chuckles behind you, since you're still halfway laying against his chest.

"Something I always wanted to try." He simply jokes. "It's really fun, according to a friend of mine. I've never used it with anyone before, but I think you might like it.." He hums, taking the toy away from you again, before his free hand pats your thigh once. "..scoot to the side for me, yeah?" He asks, and you do so, sitting next to him now while watching how he finally reveals what this.. object might be used for.

He has to adjust the belts multiple times to fit around his thigh, plastic clipping into place, before his eyes find yours, lips turned into a suspicious smirk. "Alright.." He starts, leaning back against the couch, and it's obvious that he's now demanding respect and most of all, your obedience. He points at a spot in front of him, and without words, you know exactly what he wants you to do, his expression one of almost.. pride, as he watches you stand in front of him, instinctually knowing what to do.

"Undress." He simply says, a straightforward command that you follow easily, because shame is something that you refuse to let yourself feel. He's not one you need to be hesitant with- he's promised you his honesty, after all, and he's promised you that even if things get awkward, it'll never change his view on you.

And his view of you is one of love, that's very clear to see and feel.

So it's not weird to stand in front of him all bare, clothes on a small pile next to your feet now, as he smiles. "Come here." He urges with a softer voice, having clearly realized that you've accepted his invitation into a scene now- for the first time not having needed any cues. "Take a seat, princess." He almost teases, and you do so, sitting on the soft silicone toy hugging his thigh.

It's pastel colored, multiple hues swirling together into one another, creating wave like patterns. "There you go... So pretty." He chuckles, hands running over the length of your arms, causing goosebumps to erupt from the sensation of his warm palms. He's feeling your skin a lot more sensually now, clear intentions as he touches your hips and waist, thumbs almost massaging the skin of your lower stomach, moving from the inside towards your hipbones before repeating the action.

His hands are so close to where you'd love to have them, and yet, you try and be patient. Because if you're good, he'll reward you, right?

It doesn't take long for you to notice the way your arousal makes movement a lot easier- your core by now slipping around with every little jerk of your hips, making you anxious to move more. And finally, as his fingers grip your hips, he gets into a more comfortable position himself- the unoccupied leg casually stretched out, while his back rests against the sofa, giving him a good position to watch you. "Show me how those hips can move." He urges, and you instantly take that invitation, slowly moving to test the waters.

You don't care what you look like, or about the wet sounds coming from the toy between your legs- because the feeling is insane.

He clearly let's you enjoy yourself for now, giving you free reign to figure out yourself how you like it. Your hips are squirming from side to side, ridges and bumps of the toy an odd but definitely pleasant sensation as you roll your core over it, uncaring of your arousal already leaking onto his grey sweatpants.

And neither does he care.

Watching you chase your own pleasure on his leg is just such a treat to witness- especially when he holds onto you, before he lifts his foot, forcing you down onto the toy without any warning, earning a surprised whimper from between your lips as he lets you down- just to repeat the motion a couple of times, simply to entertain himself. You're just too cute, even while doing such a sinful act. And especially when you clearly reach your orgasm is when he truly can't help himself-

hands guiding your hips to keep moving despite your clear sensitivity, just to see you struggle a little, thighs trembling and hands gripping his arms.

He's letting you lean against him, hips occasionally moving just a little, clearly still needy to feel more- and he's actually quite surprised when your hand curiously runs over the inside of his thigh, hesitating just shy of his very obvious erection that's only somewhat contained in his underwear and sweats. "You can touch me, you know?" He chuckles, making you look up at him. "I'm all yours." He tells you, and it feels like he's offering more than just his body to you.

But you don't get to think for long, because he's already helping you lay down on your back on the leather couch, unclipping the toy from his leg before he looms over you, hand running through your legs. "You didn't think I've forgotten, right?" He chuckles darkly, while his hand explores your still clenching core.

"You don't think I'm just letting you act like a brat and not put you into your place?" He purrs, leaning back on his heels, before he takes out something from the bag, his phone as well from the table close by. You're pulling back your legs, unaware that you're still exposed to him, lower lips plump and red from the friction of the toy, skin glistening with your arousal.

It's playing right into his desires, seeing you so clueless about your own appeal.

You're watching him press a hidden button on the toy, the pink object buzzing to life once, red light blinking while he taps away on his phone. "Oh~" He hums, trying out somethin it seems like, as the toy buzzes in different patterns before it stills again. "Interesting.. That'll be fun in the future." He chuckles, before he leans over you, kissing you with playful intent.

You're not sure what he's up to when he pushes your legs back down to stretch out, running the smooth object between your legs to cover it in your slick. "You're always so worried you can't take it.." He teases, looking right at you before you notice him push the object inside-

the egg shaped vibrator slipping right in, almost suddenly, core taking it inside greedily- only the elongated part staying outside, something resting right on your clit. "Oh?" He jokes, brows raised. "Where'd it go?" He jokes, making you laugh now, entire nature of this whole scene awfully light in that moment, lifting your overall tenseness entirely at this point. And for a moment, all is fun and games-

until he leans back, sits down in the corner of the couch, finger on his phone suddenly doing something-

The toy inside you buzzing to live, and not on an easy setting, that's for sure. He's obviously amused by the way you squirm, hips jerking whenever you move in a way that forces the part resting against you to move. And he's having the time of his life, trying out different settings and rhythms while watching you suffer under his antics.

"You still need to learn." He chuckles, watching your legs jerk whenever the piece that's resting over your clit moves just slightly. "I don't have to touch you to gain my fill." He says, simply scanning your body with a warm, hooded gaze. "Hm? You've had such a smart mouth the entire day." He coos, almost feigning innocence as he looks at you racing towards your final high-

Generously turning down the intensity so that it's not that harsh.

You're slowly catching your breath, when his lips tilt upwards, and his finger taps around- buzzing intensifying again, catching you off guard, causing a yelp to escape you as your hips lift off the couch.

This is too much. Or not enough? You can't take this, there's something strange happening with your body as it moves without your permission, turning over into all fours, front laying down as your hands frantically touch the inside of your thighs.

And Jungkook relishes in the scene you present to him, because there's a reason your fingers hesitate to touch your core, and he knows it.

You can't take it out. Not physically- that you can, if you really wanted to- but mentally. You know he's put it there, and he's the one in control. This is your punishment, and in an odd moment of realization, you accept it, thighs trembling as your body reaches yet another, warmer orgasm that causes you to cry out, voice sounding foreign to your own ears as your hips jerk, your knees pressed into the leather below the only thing holding you upright-

Or maybe it's Jungkook, who's leaning over your back, arm keeping your front elevated as it rests against your collarbone.

When did he move?

When did he shed his top?

Your core feels empty, and your legs feel wet. Is ge not wearing pants anymore? You can feel something touch you, hot and heavy against your thigh, and it must be him.

You want him. Where'd that toy go that was inside you seconds ago?

You’re still breathing heavily, cheeks still wet from the tears you didn’t even realize had fallen from your eyes. Your lashes are still coated in them, wet and heavy, when Jungkook kisses your neck from behind you, a reminder that he’s still there.

Just like he always promises. He never let’s you feel lonely.

“That's it.” He praises. “Hold onto me like that. I’ll keep your body safe while you let go.” He chuckles, and only now do you notice the iron grip you have on his forearm over your chest, nails digging into his skin. You feel a bit bad for it.

Though you just lessen your strength a bit, not letting go.

Suddenly, his other arm moves, grabs something out of sight, before he runs the object through your slick-coated cunt and thighs, covering it in your arousal before it prods at your still clenching hole.

“You think I won’t fit?” He purrs against your neck, and you swallow thickly, a strange cocktail or anticipation and worry mixing in your body. “You think I won’t claim this cunt as mine at the end of this week?” He asks again, and you can feel the wave if cool excitement wash over you- starting at your very neck, before it ends in the tips of your toes.

“I’ll teach your body to take me..” He almost chuckles, pushing the very tip of the clear pink toy inside, before he moves it back out- Pushing it in a little further each time. “I’ll make sure to get you all ready for me..” he hums sensually, by now having learned of your little kinks you have, as the hand from his arm still keeping your upper body pressed against his own finds one of your tits, groping the soft flesh before his thumb flicks the sensitive bud once to see you squirm.

“I won’t let you forget any of this.” He threatens almost, and you whine when you feel him push the toy even further now.

You feel so full. How much more is there to go?

“Jung-” you whine pitifully, eyes closed as your hips can’t stay still, all of it a stark difference to the fast paced, almost aggressive orgasm he’s given you just moments prior. “I cant-” you start, and he laughs.

“Oh you can.” He tells you, before he gives the toy another push. “And you will.” He purrs, and its then that you feel the base of the toy against your lower lips.

You swear you can feel it in your stomach- and for some odd reason, you like it.

"You're made for me." He chuckles, kisses at your neck and cheek before he bites, toy leaving your cunt with only the tip before he moves it back in, feeling of a Rollercoaster ride making your insides jump and eyes roll back. You can't think anymore, you can only feel- and right now, you feel just so used in the best kind of way.

Somehow, he makes your worst nightmares come true- but they're not nightmares anymore, just dreams, vibrant and pleasant. Exciting. New.

It could be so easy to replace the toy with himself right now- but he doesn't, because that's one of his own rules he will never break. Your trust in him is precious, it's a gift- and he won't tarnish that by simply being greedy for more than you want to offer.

"Jung.." you huff, swallowing down saliva before you can say anything at all. "Jungkook-.. please-" you beg, unsure how to phrase it.

"What is it?" He asks, moves to nuzzle your neck so softly- a stark contract to his constant push and pull with the clear pink dildo he's using to give you a taste of his own length one day doing the same. Filling you up. Probably even better? You can imagine him all warm and slicked up from your wetness, stretching you open and making you feel so full you can hardly breathe.

"More.. f- faster-" you request. "Please?" You add on, and he chuckles.

"See?" His breath fans over your neck. "You can be such a good girl." He teases, pressing the replica as deep as it can reach inside you, base pushing against your skin. "Where were your manners today?" He wonders. "Will I always have to ruin this cunt to remind you where your place is?" He asks, and you nod, shamelessly so.

"Yes!" You whimper, mind somewhere else by now entirely as you struggle to keep yourself still. "Yes- I.. I forget-" you huff out, and he laughs as he runs his lips over your shoulder, piercing a distinct contrast to his softer lips.

"Then let me remind you, darling." He hums against your jot and sweating skin. "You're mine, in this moment. And I decide what to do with you... or to you." He tells you, and you nod, legs quivering.

Only for him to move the toy back to have it slip out, hole gaping at him, closing around nothing. The sigh is everything he ever needed or wanted- cunt all red and flushed, lower lips swollen and glistening, and he has to imagine his own seed staining your skin, mixing with your own arousal staining the couch and your legs.

His cock twitches at the sight, a drop of precum escaping him without control.

But what he does have control over is the rest of himself, as he pushes the toy back inside, causing your toes to curl, especially once he moves it in a faster, steadier pace. It short-circuits your brain, everything around you smelling of sex as he uses the replica to give you a taste of what he could give you.

Your arousal foams up around the base of the pink silicone, creating a ring of white as you cream up from his pace.

The orgasm you reach from this is different, as if it happens somewhere else in your body- though his hand is quick to flick your sensitive pearl to send you off with a proper goodbye, soil leaving your body as you quiver and lose all control one last time, body giving out as he lets you lay down now, muscles twitching from the overuse.

And it only takes him one good pump on his own cock to make him spurt his release onto your back, where his lips kiss up your spine in his post-orgasmic fever.

He's drunk off of you. He's never even had full on sec with you yet- and he's already addicted.

You've got no idea what you're doing to him.

◇━━━━━━━━━━X♡X♡━━━━━━━━━━━◇

In the bathtub, his hand is a lot softer as it runs over your body, cleaning you and nurturing this blossoming feeling you're growing for him.

You're both back from your respective highs, world slowly bleeding back into reality as you simply exist in the warm water for now. "Was that alright?" He asks you, and you nod.

"It was.. new." You say, voice echoing in the bathroom, together with the sound of water sloshing everytime he moves. "I didn't think I'd enjoy what you did- but I did."

"How so?" He wonders, wanting to know hour thoughts now that your brain is functional again. Feedback is important now more than ever after all- he has to still figure out how to navigate this new experience with you.

"I thought.. it would feel, you know, degrading." You explain. "To be used." You clarify, and he nods, carefully moving your hair to see the side of your face better. "But it didn't. It felt more.. as if I was.. of service? Is that the right word?" You wonder, and he chuckles.

"Its how I feel in my position as well, you know." He answers. "Knowing that what I offer gives you pleasure.. is enough for me." He shrugs, and you stretch your legs, cramps finally letting up. "You looked so pretty.." he teases, and you whine.

"I was crying like a baby!" You argue, turning around a bit-

Though you're caught off guard by the terribly soft look he offers you, hand reaching out to hold your cheek.

"Thats because you are my baby." He says-

Making you cry once more.

◇━━━━━━━━━━X♡X♡━━━━━━━━━━━◇

[katsu28]

hi kait!! finally found my way into your inbox, i feel like it’s been a tiiiny bit overdue 😭

i’d love to request writing little notes on post-its and leaving them in random pages of their textbook, so that they will get a little endorphin boost when studying with oscar if that’s okay! (or max, if you wanna give a hand at writing for him)

liyah!!! you're right on time babe, thank you so much for this request! i had so much fun writing this and i'm hoping i did max justice <3

max verstappen x reader, 2k, a dash of google translated dutch lol. request something from here!

“Fuck!” 

Your forehead thunks down against your open textbook for what feels like the millionth time. You feel like you’ve been staring at the same page for hours, yet you still can’t seem to make any sense of what you’re looking at, and it makes you want to scream. 

Now don’t get it wrong, you love learning and you’re fortunate enough to be pursuing an advanced education, but it’s at times like these you wonder if it’s all worth it. There’s so much information to take in and not enough hours in the day to remember it all, and you’re running out of time before you have to take this godforsaken exam that could prevent you from moving to the next level of courses. 

No pressure, or anything, of course. 

“Careful, mijn liefje, you're too smart to be banging your head on the table like that.” Max’s voice rings out from behind you, and you’re too tired to even jump. You hadn’t even heard him let himself into your apartment, let alone sneak up on you. He leans down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. 

“I don’t feel smart,” You huff, feeling his hands smooth along your shoulders. “I feel like an idiot.” 

“You’re not an idiot.” He replies, very as-a-matter-of-factly. His thumbs press into the knots at the base of your neck like he knows exactly where they are, rubbing slow circles. You don't see it, but he scans your surroundings with a furrowed brow as he massages your stiff muscles. 

The table around you is littered with things—crumpled papers, empty Red Bull cans, an entire stationery store’s worth of pens and highlighters, and most worryingly, your still completely full water bottle. If that sight is any indication, he can safely assume you probably haven’t left your place in this chair for a while. 

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way because I mean it from a place of love, but when was the last time you got some sleep?” 

“What? I dunno, like yesterday—wait, what day is it today?” 

Max presses his lips into a thin line. He’s never been one to worry too much about your studies, because you’re fully capable of keeping things in order yourself, but it might be starting to get out of hand. Now feels like a good time to step in and take matters into his own hands. “If you have to think that hard about it, it’s been too long.” 

Finally you look up at him, and boy is he right. You look utterly exhausted, even as you vehemently shake your head side to side. “I’m not tired, Max. I need to study.” 

“You’ve been studying for ages. What you need is rest.” 

“I can’t. I don’t have time for rest, I need to be ready for my exam,” You argue, already turning back to your textbook. Max crouches down next to you, blanketing your knee with a large, warm palm. His other hand eases the pen out of your grasp, fingers lacing with yours instead. 

“Please take a break, schatje. If not for yourself, do it for me.” 

One look at those pretty, pleading blue eyes of his and you cave, nodding defeatedly. “Maybe a little nap couldn't hurt.” 

Max nods enthusiastically, gently pulling you out of your seat and towards the hallway leading to your bedroom before you have a chance to reconsider. You’re leaning heavily against him, basically already half asleep as he guides you down onto the soft mattress as easily as he can. 

“Wake me up in twenty minutes, please,” You mumble, giving a sluggish tug at his hand. 

“Of course.” 

He won’t, but you don’t need to know that. Max will gladly take any consequences if it means you get at least an hour of rest, hopefully more. Your health and wellbeing is the most important thing to him. 

Your eyes flutter shut on their own accord mere seconds later, soft snores emitting from your mouth even before Max pulls the covers up to your chin.

“Not tired, my ass,” He chuckles under his breath, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before exiting the room as quietly as he can. 

While you get some much needed sleep, Max organizes your study space a little, tossing away the cans and wrappers, plugging in your computer to charge, then moves onto the kitchen and cleans up in there too. 

The living room area is next on his checklist; blankets get folded and put back in their rightful spots, and windows get opened because he won’t lie, the air smells a little stale in here. He figures a complete reset and a neat area might help ease your mind when you wake up. 

As he surveys his tidy job, his eyes land on your open textbook, then the massive stack of multicolored post-it notes next to it. He might not be able to help with the studying part, but there is something he can do about keeping your spirits up while you work on the former. 

He settles himself into your chair, hunching over at the desk as he scribbles notes to you. Encouragements, affirmations about how bright you are and how proud he is of you, dumb jokes to hopefully make you laugh, even his best shot at the little cute doodles you draw for him on the whiteboard of his driver’s room whenever you’re in there waiting for him. Obviously, they’re nowhere near as good—Max has never claimed to be much of an artist—but hopefully they’re enough to give you a little mood boost during your study sessions. 

Being careful to mark your spot, he scatters the sticky notes randomly throughout the crisp pages. 

You rouse from your sleep hours later, barely able to get a word out before Max ushers you to the bathroom to relax in the hot bath he’s drawn for you. Despite your protests, you sink into the nearly scalding water (which is just the way you like it) with an appreciative sigh.

Only once you’re fresh and clean and thoroughly pampered by your boyfriend does he let you come back to where you were when he first found you earlier today. But it looks different. It’s not a mess anymore. Upon glancing around the rest of the place, you can tell that he’s done quite a bit whilst you were passed out. 

“Did you…clean my apartment while I was asleep?��� You ask in bewilderment, taking in the neatly organized space with wide eyes. It even smells fresh, lemony and bright and not at all like the despair of an overworked twenty something year old student during exam season. 

“Yep.” Max says simply, popping the ‘p’. 

“Why?” You’re not mad in any way, shape or form, just simply stunned. It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you and Max just shrugs like it’s no big deal. His nonchalance still takes you aback sometimes. 

“Thought it might help. Anyways, you get one hour to study, then you’re taking a break even if I have to drag you away from that book myself,” He warns, pinning you to the spot with a stern glare. “I’ll be in the other room, but I have a timer on, so don’t even try to pull one over on me. One hour. Call out if you need anything.” 

He kisses you firmly on the side of your head and then he’s gone, leaving you alone to hit the books once more. 

Slumping into the chair with a groan, you shake your head not unlike a dog would, flipping open your book again to where you’d left off. Your head feels a little clearer now, a little less foggy now thanks to Max’s efforts, and you’re hoping it’ll make a difference. 

Your gaze is immediately drawn to a bright green sticky note a few pages later, off in the side margins. It isn’t one of your notes though, but rather Max’s tiny handwriting, an odd mixture of lower and uppercase letters spelling out a message. 

You’re doing an amazing job. Keep pushing!

Before you know it, you’ve flipped through the entire book in your search of more notes from Max, your grin only growing bigger and bigger with each one you find. 

Why don’t dinosaurs talk? Because they’re dead. 

I’m proud of you for making it this far. You’re so smart. 

What are Sassy and Jimmy’s favorite day of the week? Cat-urday. 

If you find this one, we’ll go to Bora Bora during summer break. 

That last one is tucked in the back cover, signed and dated by him. You plan to keep it as undeniable proof when the time comes, though you suspect he won’t try to deny it. He’d be happy to whisk you off to any place you wanted if you asked. 

Every single one of his notes makes you grin like an idiot, but his attempts at drawing his cats are your favorite ones of all. It takes you a few moments to understand what exactly you’re looking at, but when you squint at what could be the outline of Sassy’s ears, it makes you actually laugh out loud. 

Warmth spreads from your head to the tips of your toes at the thought of Max taking the time to do all this for you, even though he really didn’t have to. When you think about it, he’s always been this way—showing that he cares through his actions. Taking care of his loved ones without having to say a word. It’s one of the many things you love about him.

Like always, Max is true to his word. One hour later on the dot, he marches back in with gusto. 

“Alright, break time! Let’s go get some food. Lando keeps waffling on about some Greek place that’s apparently super popular and the best he’s ever had, if you don’t mind—” He stops mid sentence and mid stride at the sight of you staring back at him. You’re not smiling, but you also don’t look angry. It’s actually a little unsettling, really. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

You barrel into Max with enough force to make him stumble backwards a few steps, wrapping your arms around his neck in a tight hug. He lets out a soft noise of surprise at having to catch you all of a sudden, one that is quickly stifled because your lips are on his now, and you’re kissing him the same way you do when he comes home after a triple header and you haven’t seen him in weeks. 

The kiss is short, but teeming with emotion. Love, appreciation, gratitude—you kiss Max with everything you’ve got, and when you pull away he looks pleasantly confused. 

“What was that for, schatje?” He chuckles, smoothing a hand up and down your back. You can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Everything.” You mumble, pressing your face into the softness of his jumper. Another laugh rumbles through him, fonder this time. 

“Everything.” He repeats. You nod against his chest, and he knows what you’re trying to say, even if you’re not saying it. He sighs contentedly, nestling his chin over the top of your head. 

You’d stay like this forever if you could, if neither of you had things to do and places to be. Just you and your Max, who knows you so well you don’t even have to tell him what you need. And what you need right now is food. 

Max rocks you side to side, voice light as he ponders the options, because he just knows what you’re thinking already. “If we hurry, we could probably still get a table before the Greek place closes. Or maybe not, but I’ll pay them extra to stay open for us.” 

“I like the way you think, Maxie.” You beam, kissing him again. A little too quickly for his liking, but he doesn’t mind. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy.

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( dialogue  prompts  taken  from the script of  everything  everywhere  all  at  once  (2022),  directed  by  daniel  kwan  and  daniel  scheinert.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit. )

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ stop changing the subject. ❜

❛ every day i fight, i fight for all of us. ❜

❛ what are you doing? what is wrong? ❜

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

❛ you may be in grave danger. there is no time to explain.❜

❛ we can make our own way. please, come with me. ❜

❛ don't even talk to me about this because i won't remember.❜

❛ i am not your husband. at least not the one you know. i am another version of him from another life path, another universe. ❜

❛ i’m here because we need your help.❜

❛ sorry, very busy today. no time to help you– ❜

❛ all those years of searching have brought me here. to this universe. to you. ❜

❛ i’m here to tell you every rejection, every disappointment has led you here. to this moment. ❜

❛ i'm not ready to fight yet. ❜

❛ maybe we don't have a choice. ❜

❛ now, you can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences. ❜

❛ i... want to lie here. ❜

❛ how often do people literally die laughing? ❜

❛ my husband won't even kill a spider. how are you the same person? ❜

❛ we are talking about infinity. if you can imagine it, somewhere out there, it exists. ❜

❛ how did i die? ❜

❛ i've seen you die a thousand ways. in a thousand worlds. in every single one, you were murdered. ❜

❛ what!? who wants me dead? ❜

❛ you’ve been feeling it too, haven’t you? something is off. your clothes never wear as well the next day, your hair never falls in quite the same way, even your coffee tastes... wrong. ❜

❛ maybe we would have been better off if we had never gotten married. ❜

❛ i never said that. ❜

❛ you didn’t have to. it’s the way you look at me. ❜

❛ can’t you see it? how wonderful it would be if you came with me? ❜

❛ i saw my life without you. i wish you could have seen it. it was beautiful. ❜

❛ shhh, you're not thinking straight. ❜

❛ what is worse than death? ❜

❛ i saw your face on a billboard and — this is silly — i wondered if you remembered me... ❜

❛ is it that i can’t be here, or that i’m not allowed to be here? ❜

❛ there is no good, there is no evil. there is only “goovil”. ❜

❛ if you can imagine it, you have fucked it. ❜

❛ do not be so closed minded that you blind yourself from the truth! ❜

❛ don’t make me fight you. i am really really good. ❜

❛ you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything. ❜

❛ you can't remember anything because your bodies were under the control of other universes. ❜

❛ you were like puppets. and you could do things you normally can't do. you were like, what's that movie... raccaccoonie? ❜

❛ how can you defeat her in every universe, if you can't even kill her in one? ❜

❛ the sacrifices necessary to win this war... i know all too well. ❜

❛ i cannot lose another loved one to the darkness. ❜

❛ i know you have feelings. feelings that make you so sad. that make you just want to give up. that is not your fault. ❜

❛ i'll see you again soon, somewhere out there in all that noise. ❜

❛ just think happy thoughts. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ i'm the one you've been looking for. ❜

❛ i’m the one who will defeat you. ❜

❛ you’re finally free, like me. ❜

❛ you don't have to choose anymore. between loving me or hating me. you can do both at the same time. ❜

❛ before, you were asking about "our daughter". it's crazy, but it really got me thinking. what if you had come with me all of those years ago? ❜

❛ all of this time, i wasn't looking for someone who could defeat me. i was looking for someone who could see what i see, feel what i feel... ❜

❛ oh, good, you're here too. ❜

❛ i'm sorry about ruining everything, i– ❜

❛ we're all stupid. small stupid little humans. it's like our whole deal. ❜

❛ everything is going to be okay. ❜

❛ you think i’m weak don’t you? ❜

❛ when we first fell in love all of those years ago, your father would say i was too sweet for my own good. maybe he was right. ❜

❛ please! can we just stop fighting! ❜

❛ you tell me that it's a cruel world and we're all just running around in circles. i know that. i've been on this earth just as many days as you. ❜

❛ the only thing i do know is we have to be kind. be kind. especially, when we don't know what's going on. ❜

❛ i know you go through life with your fists held tight. you see yourself as a fighter. well, i see myself as one too. this is how i fight. ❜

❛ in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you. ❜

❛ you know what i say? cold, hysterical, unlovable bitches like us make the world go round. ❜

❛ you aren’t unlovable. there is always something to love. ❜

❛ even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we’d all be very good with our feet! ❜

❛ in a universe where we both agree that no one could love you, if we look hard enough, something will prove us wrong. ❜

❛ we are all useless alone. so its good you're not alone. ❜

❛ maybe you win in this universe. but in another, i beat you. or we tie. or we eat crepes. ❜

❛ i don't want to hurt anymore. and for some reason when i'm with you, it hurts both of us. ❜

❛ out of all of the places i could be, why would i want to be here with you? ❜

❛ i still want to be here with you. i will always want to be here with you. ❜

❛ i will cherish these few specks of time. ❜

[rh3maji]

Lil rant abt Caine

Caine is just a lil guy, despite it all. From a design standpoint I thought I was gonna absolutely fucking hate looking at him because those chattering teeth toys make my skin crawl- but the art direction really helps make him look more appealing and whimsical than a disembodied pair of talking dentures sounds on paper.

The thing with Caine is I didn't initially like him that much after the pilot. While his interactions with Bubble were quite funny, that one episode left me feeling like he'd just end up being kinda one note or at the very least one note in a way that'd get on my nerves. Then everything changed when Pomni Wake Up Time to Go On an Adventure! attacked

The comedic timing throughout that announcement video was so fucking funny and thanks to his line deliveries and animation/model [?] upgrades- CAINE LOOKED AND SOUNDED SO ADORABLE!!

Legit it wasn't until this came out that I realized I actually could be on board with Caine as a character and it's been uphill from there. Episode 2 was better than the pilot not only comedically and visually but also in terms of showcasing just how actually unsettling Caine can be as an antagonist. Not because he's vengeful or malicious, but because he's so oblivious to how people work. His mind's always buzzing with terrible ideas and he's so so eager about these adventures, but at the end of the day he really really doesn't get the circus crew. Try as he might to include them, keep them engaged [ZOOBLE WAIT!], or even give them what they want [Exit doors] he doesn't realize how traumatic and distressing their current situation can be. The very nature of being trapped in a digital world is bad enough but it's especially rough here bc not only does its god have limited capabilities, you also are very well acquainted with him, and he can't fully understand your pain nor can he truly save you from it. He won't mourn your abstraction. He will not attend your funeral. He will not understand the distress of your arrival, nor the weight of your departure.

This isn't just sad from the pov of the circus gang, it's also very sad for Caine- not because i think he'll ever feel sad about it himself necessarily, but instead because the situation is sad. New members appear over and over, you craft adventures and games and distractions like [i'm assuming] they'd asked you to, but over and over, one by one, they abstract. They stop laughing at your jokes. They don't like you. They want you to leave them alone. It's confusing and maybe even inconvenient.

Where I'm hoping the series takes Caine is that this dissonance between Caine's intentions and the distress of the circus gang gets worse and worse and worse until something's got to give. I'm hoping that maybe at some point a character will try to sit down and talk with him and for it to either sorta get through to him but completely backfire in some form because he misinterprets what the others want from him OR i'd also be down for him to listen, but not understand any of it and proceed as tho nothing happened. I don't want Caine to come around really, it'd be interesting to see how Goose would go about having him come around to being a better host that empathizes more with humans, but personally I do prefer him to keep on keepin' on being this oblivious and eager antagonist.

My favorite Caine lines/line deliveries so far:

"You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen!…e-except for swearing."

"And here we have THE GROUNDS! Drown yourself in the digital lake, or engage in ridery at the digital carnival!"

"What do you think of XDDCC? You're right, terrible, LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN!"

"Kaufmo abstracted? Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Bubble you can't say that"

"-ZOOBLE WAIT!"

"Why are you all just standing there?! The- The Canyon- C-Candy Canyon Kingdom needs you now!" [according to his VA, this was an actual line flub but hoo boy am i glad they use it bc it's hilarious]

"I know you guys love your NPCs, but if I start losing track of who's a human and who's an NPC, who knows...what. could. happen..."

That last line there specifically surprised me the most because up until he said that I was under the impression Caine was linked to every single NPC. I even thought he could see through their eyes if he so chose thanks to his "hundreds of all seeing eyes" line in the pilot. Him saying this here implies lots of things. Has Caine forgotten before? Is someone in the circus secretly an NPC ooooooooh~

"Who knows what could happen..."

Honestly, when Caine first said this I did immediately theorize Jax as being an NPC but now that it's been *checks calendar* three months since I watched episode 2, I don't think this is the case anymore. Jax being an NPC would be...something. Jax not knowing he's an NPC would be interesting [i like it when ppl's realities get shattered], but honestly I think this line was a way to telegraph to the audience that no Caine isn't actually all knowing. He didn't know Gummigoo was coming through that portal until he saw him with his own two eyes. My theory is that Caine is only able to teleport, create, censor, transform, and destroy the world around him, but isn't able to see all of it at once unless he tries to. I think Caine's default state is one where he only knows what he sees directly in front of him/what he himself has left waiting for someone else. And rather than implying someone in the gang is an NPC, I think that line in episode 2 was mainly implying Caine can be tricked, that it's possible to hide something from him, to surprise him even. Though I'm not opposed to an NPC we haven't met trying to join under the guise of being human, it'd potentially create some fun tension assuming the audience was given enough reason to care about them.

Jax is actually my favorite character in tadc, but i couldn't fill an entire post with things to say abt him. Caine seems to be- at least as of right now- the easiest of all the characters to try and wrap my head around. I'll probably have a lot more to say about Jax as he exists in canon as the episodes come out [EPISODE 6 MY BELOVED]

but uhhhh yeah, that's all the things i had to say abt Caine. Pls go watch/listen to the fansong Digital Land bye!

[lalovi]

Appreciation to our pink boys ♡

Featuring: Peach Blossom, Pastel Meringue, Whipped Cream

``Just close your eyes...``

Warnings: proofread (but badly)

"My, you're looking quite worn out today... rough day?" Peach Blossom smiles at you softly- just as he always does.

It was late at night, maybe around 12ish. Work today had been excruciating, yet it seems a certain someone decided to stay up and wait for you anyway.

You sigh, closing the door behind you and dropping your bags near instantly. He hurried over to you and removed your jacket. "Shh, it's okay. You can just rest here with me~" He left a quick kiss on your cheek and pulled you over to the couch.

The warm smile never seemed to leave his face. You wondered if he was even capable of frowning at all. Sure... work was exhausting at times and your co-workers sucked, but it was all worth it in the end when you got to come home to your beloved.

"Now.." He gazed into your eyes, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Though, his hand seemed to linger while cupping your face. "Would you like me to run you bath? Or maybe you'd prefer some tea... Whatever you want."

You tilted his chin upwards ever so slightly, leaving a kiss on his lips. Sweet, you'd think to yourself. "More of those, perhaps?"

Somehow, his face seemed to soften even more, and the faintest of pinks dashed his cheeks. "Of course. Whatever you want, my love."

``Just close your eyes...``

---

"Look who finally decided to show up! You took so long I nearly thought you had forgotten about me." Pastel Meringue crossed his arms and sent you a glare.

Loose prices of fabric and random tools were scattered all around the workroom, though an impressive array of garments were ready on a rack nearby.

"Sorry, something came up-" you sheepishly replied.

He huffed. "You better be sorry. I don't let just anyone model my clothes, you know." He hopped off of his chair and walked up to you, though his glare seemed to lessen.

"Come now, time is of the essence!" He grabbed your wrist and dragged you over to the clothes you were supposed to model. "Pick whichever you want to try on first. Just know we have to get through all of these today."

After getting into one of the outfits, you reappeared infront of Pastel Meringue. He sort of just gazed at you for a while, seemingly admiring you before smiling. "Well? Give me a little twirl so I can see what I'm working with~"

The rest of the day went similarly. You'd try on more outfits, Pastel Meringue would make some comments here and there before you move don't the next outfit.

Now it was the last outfit and Pastel Meringue was fiddling with some fabric near your neck. "Maybe this set would look better with white accents instead of blue..." He'd mumble to himself.

He turned around to his desk and gathered some tools.

"I'm sure it'll look great no matter what you pick. Your designs always turn out that way."

He sighed and looked toward the ground, though he could not help the small smile that appeared on his face.

"Yeah yeah, now stay still while I take some extra measurements."

``Just close your eyes...``

---

Whipped Cream... ever the graceful dancer. You watched with great interest in how his body moved. It looked so natural to him...

"You know you don't have to just watch, right?" His movements stopped when he looked at you.

"What-?"

"Come on, we should dance together!" He smiled enthusiastically at you, expectantly waiting for an answer.

"Wouldn't I just mess you up?"

A low chuckle escaped his lips. "Mess me up? In front of who? There's no audience here."

"Even so, I don't even know ballet. I wouldn't know where to begin."

"We don't have to do ballet. We can always do something else like slow dancing if you'd prefer. I just want to dance with you~"

"I still don't think I'd be very good at it. And besides-"

Whipped Cream cut you off in the middle of your ramble. "You always make things so complicated." He sighed before getting closer to you and extending his hand. "May I have this dance?"

You looked at him peculiarly before reluctantly placing your hand in his and muttering a 'yes'.

He smiled and kissed your hand before pulling you into a twirl.

"Relax, dove... Let me guide you."

``Just close your eyes...``

[paper-daisy]

Like many of us I'm doing a TWD rewatch, looking for all those pre-relationship moments, and a great little one in 4x01 is after Michonne arrives back at the prison -- there's a moment where Daryl tells her "Glad to see you're in one piece." HOWEVER, when he says that he turns to look directly at Rick. Who in turn quickly looks away, almost bashful.

You can just imagine what Daryl had to put up with, with Rick in those early days. So I had to fic it.

Rick never said the words aloud. He never outright said, "I'm worried about Michonne. I hope she's okay. I hope she comes back." He was never that obvious. But to someone like Daryl, a man naturally of few words himself, it was clear as day that their fearless leader was never fully relaxed whenever that smartass/badass - who was more than capable of taking care of herself - wasn't safely tucked away behind their walls.

But what Rick would say when she was gone was - "There was a herd moving south, right?" Where Michonne had last gone hung unspoken between them. And when Daryl answered Yeah, Rick would just place his hands on his hips and nod, jaw tight, as he scanned the perimeter of the compound as if waiting for someone to magically appear.

He would say - "There's a lot more bandits out there, roaming in packs. Isn't that what you said?" A grunt and a shrug from Daryl, and Rick would nod like they'd just had a conversation and go back to his farming, digging the shovel into the dirt with a bit more force than necessary, making a point to not look at the fence. They hadn't heard from Michonne in two weeks.

He would say - "Nights are getting cold," while standing outside at the communal kitchen, plate in hand, his gaze always drawn to the barely visable fence line. Daryl had hummed in agreement, fighting the urge to tell him that Michonne should be fine as she had pilfered his poncho, something Rick already knew.

And on one strange occasion he said, "Do you think we should get some more ... art? In here?"

This had stopped Daryl in his tracks. "What?"

Rick shrugged, perhaps a little sheepishly, but continued. "We have a library, potted flowers, even some toys and things for the kids. This is our home now. Thought ... maybe it could use a bit of ... brightening?"

Daryl just starred blankly. "You want me to, what? Bring back pictures?"

For a moment it looked as if Rick was about to finally say what was actually on his mind, before he instead gave a rueful smile and waved his hand in the air as if to dispel the conversation. "Nah, nah, never mind. It was just a thought."

He walked away, leaving an utterly perplexed Daryl behind who simply shrugged and went on his own way. It was only later that day as he passed by Michonne's empty cell did his eyes fall upon that weird colourful cat thing, the one that looked like it was about to start a fight. It was such a stupid, useless thing but Daryl remembered how Michonne had presented it to him with an air of triumph, as if it was the most gorgeous thing in the world. He didn't get it.

Did Rick really think that if he made the place more art-filled, Michonne might want to hang around longer? he wondered, then immediately dismissed the idea. Well, clearly not because he gave up before he started. Like with other things.

Only once had Daryl said the unsaid thing.

Almost everyone was asleep. Well, Carl was hid under his blankets reading comics and there were low conversational sounds coming from some darkened cell, but for the most part things were quiet.

And they were kept quiet by an exhausted Rick, pacing back and forth with a fussy Judith, bouncing her non-stop so her cries wouldn't awaken the entire community. He'd nodded to Daryl, who in turn took a moment to ask if he needed help putting Judith to sleep tonight.

"No, thankyou" said Rick tiredly. "I think she's pretty much worn herself out by now. Should be sound asleep soon."

"You too."

Rick sighed. "Yeah. I just ..." He shifted Judith a little, "Even when I do get to bed, I can't seem to stop thinking. Thinking of plans for the future, for the people we have in here. The people we bring in. How to protect everyone inside these walls. Keep our people safe despite ... well, despite everything." Rick looked at Daryl as if he might have the answers to those questions he hadn't quite asked.

All he could do was shrug. "We just try. Trust that we all know what we're doing. Lookout for everyone here. Not much more we can do, is there? Future don't care about anyone's plans."

Rick didn't look totally reassured, but he still smiled slightly as Daryl's efforts. "Yeah. I just worry, is all."

"I know." And as Daryl passed by he gripped Rick's shoulder and muttered, "Shouldn't worry so much. Michonne'll be back, all in one piece. You'll see."

And the man had the audacity to look confused, stuttering out, "Yeah, I know that, but - but I wasn't talking about Michonne, specifically. I'm not worried about her. She can take care of herself, I know that, and she always comes back, it's just ... with everything ..."

As he trailed off Daryl eyed Rick critically for a moment. He really thinks he's selling it, he thought, before giving a soft grunt that was akin to laughter and wandering off to bed, leaving a somewhat disconcerted Rick behind, gently bouncing a sleeping Judith.

And the very next day who should come riding through the gates but one Michonne, smiling, baring gifts and all in one piece, as Daryl made sure to point out to Rick, who's ears suddenly went bright red as if Michonne might somehow be able to figure out that they'd been taking about her just that night before.

But she didn't notice. She was too caught up in her almost obsessive search for the Governor and already planning her next venture out, unaware of Rick's barely suppressed disappointment or of the sigh that Daryl kept clenched behind his teeth as he tried to subtly talk her out of another long run. It wasn't her who was stuck with Rick and his wordless pining.

Because it was pining, even if he never said nothing. If they were in school Daryl might've suggested he pass her a note.

When she had quickly offered to go back out again with the rest of the scavenging party - even though, as Carl had said wistfully, she'd just got back - and Daryl could do nothing more than give Rick a comforting pat, grimacing slightly as the man's expression said exactly the same thing his son had vocalised.

God, this was going to wear thin soon.

Ah well. Wasn't like they had TV anymore.

[nhularin]

1 STEP FORWARD, 3 STEPS BACK

PAIRING bf! jay x reader GENRE toxic! relationship, angst no comfort WARNINGS insecurities,there might be some grammar mistakes WC 0.9k series masterlist

December 12, 2001

"so, how was your day?"

you looked at him, your voice soft as you asked. you and your boyfriend sat in his car, the air thick with tension. but jays response was anything but kind. his eyes narrowed as he looked straight ahead of the road, his voice filled with bitterness. "fine" he spit out and silence fell upon you once again

no, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

the tone of his voice made you recoil, your heart sinking. it was a typical thursday night and you haven't seen each other outside of school in what felt like forever. you had only wanted to check up on him, to show him that you cared about his well being. but his words sliced through you like a dagger, leaving you feeling small and insignificant.

"thats great!" you tried to sound cheerful, but your voice betrayed you when those words came out quieter and wobblier than expected. you looked outside of the passenger seat's window, attempting to ignore the unbearable silence in the car. you could hear the joy and euphoria from passing cars and you couldn't help but feel jealousy radiating through you

All I did was speak normally, somehow I still struck a nerve

"why are you always so sensitive?" jay continued, his voice dripping with disdain. "you make everything about yourself. cant you see that I have my own problems to deal with?"

jay could feel your discomfort, he had to. hell, the passing cars could probably feel it "dont be like this" he said, sighing heavily "why do you always ask me that? you saw me at school. did you see me crying? no. so dont ask obvious shit when you already know the answer."

your eyes welled up with tears, voice trembling. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I just-" you paused, feeling your throat close up "we haven't hung out in a while and i just wanted to make sure that you were fine"

jay scoffed, his anger intensifying. "you think you can solve all my problems with a simple question? youre so naive. you don't understand anything. fine, coach Madson was a fucking asshole today but i knew you wouldn't understand. isnt a simple 'fine' enough? all you know is how to break out in song and dance with your theater friends"

im the love of your life until I make you mad

your heart shattered as his words echoed in your mind. you had hoped for a moment of connection, a chance to offer support. but instead, you found yourself facing his anger, his frustration, and his complete lack of empathy.

you longed for affection, for those sweet words of love to fall from his lips. but instead, you were met with a wall of unpredictability. one moment, he would hold your hand and make you feel like the most special person in the world. the next, he would push you away, leaving you wondering where you went wrong.

every little thing you did seemed to set him off, like a ticking time bomb ready to explode. his anger was swift and cutting, leaving you feeling small and insignificant. it was a rollercoaster of emotions, and you couldn't help but question if he truly loved you.

jays grip on the wheel tightened even further as you reached a familiar intersection. the red light seemed to mock your mess of a relationship, the halted traffic mirroring your damaged connection.

as the light turned green, he pressed down on the gas pedal, your heart pounding heavily in your chest. the car lurched forward, the engine roaring, but the noise was nothing compared to the deafening silence between you two. the streets blurred as you sped through the night.

in that moment, you realized that jay wasn't capable of providing the love and understanding you have craved. he was a storm of emotions and absolutely unpredictable, lashing out at anyone who dared to get close.

on your late night drives, you would often find yourself bracing for impact. would jay walk you home, or would he send you home crying again? it was a cruel game of chance, and you were trapped in its endless cycle.

"look" he sighed "im sorry for lashing out, im just stressed with-" he paused longer than expected "practice, AP calc, everything, okay? its nothing personal"

his apology didnt change the storm of emotions forming inside you but you tried to tame it as best as possible, trying to look unbothered by his constant outbursts of hatred.

when did it all go wrong? you have known him since forever, his toothy grin and messed up bangs permanently engraved in your head. you managed to form an awkward smile "its okay" its always okay, as long as you were with him

do you love me, want me, hate me?

finally, you arrived at your house, and jay pulled over. the quiet and calm suburb contrasting the chaos in your head. the car idled, the engine still rumbling.

there was a moment of silence, a moment where the weight of your emotions hung in the air. and then, without another word, jay reached over and opened the car door. his gesture made you feel giddy and hope filled your heart. as you stepped out, you gave him your biggest smile

"ill see you tomorrow, text me, okay? i love you"

he didnt say it back nor did he message you that night

no, I don't understand

PERM TAGLIST @misokei @avocarua @sngvhs @essmarye @haechansbbg

SERIES' MASTERLIST @flwerfield @hyhees @mrchweeee @j1nniee @mikaluvsyouu @delulu4-life @mora134340 @beomsbeanie @leep0ems @cIphantom-hive @yla-aira @filmofhybe @nishik1

[tkaulitzlvr]

OUT OF LOVE - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: once tom realises how much your relationship has lost the love within it because of the distance he has put between you both, it’s his job to make it up to you.

content: angst to smut.

a/n: my first post!! i hope you all enjoy!

lately, tom and i's relationship has hit a bump in the road. each conversation lit an already short fuse within the both of us, the smallest of words capable of creating an unnecessary yet very real dispute that would leave us silent for hours, and in the worst of cases not talking for days. but it wasn't just the things we said, it was whatever we didn't say, too. physical touch was usually a huge part of our relationship, but now, i couldn't remember the last time that i had properly kissed him. it had gotten to the point where we slept on different sides of the bed, refusing to lay in eachother's embrace as we usually would.

as each day dragged on, feeling like tom and i were moving further away from eachother, i failed to even remember how we ended up this way in the first place. we had a perfect relationship, filled with love and trust, those the foundation of what made us, us. everyone knew that we loved eachother, we were the 'it couple'. whilst we had small disputes just as every couple did, it had never reached this point - yet it showed no sign of stopping.

which is why it brought me no surprise that tom had already become irritated from my single question, asking him where he'd been after returning home late yet again, this becoming a habitual occurrence since the beginning of whatever our distance could be called.

"look, i was just out, okay? what is this a fucking interrogation?" tom fires out, frustration laced in his tone as he throws his keys on the table.

"im sorry for worrying about my boyfriend! i just wont give a shit next time, yeah?" i shoot back, confused on why he acts this way every time i start a simple conversation.

"yeah that'd be great, thanks." he mumbles sarcastically, scoffing and sinking into the sofa, flicking through the channels on the tv displayed infront of him.

"are you fucking kidding me tom?" i utter out, in complete disbelief of his childishness.

despite the clear anger in my voice, he stays silent, shaking his head slightly and continuing to look through the channels on the tv, this only fuelling my anger.

"can you listen to me for fucks sake?" my voice begins to raise as my patience is slowly wearing thin. i walk over to the tv, blocking his view and forcing him to look up at me, his eyes cold, an unrecognisable glare within them in place of the usual love that emits from them whenever our gazes meet. 

"what?" he sighs, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and pointer finger.

"i'd appreciate it if you fucking listened to me, just for one second! i'm tired of sitting here alone, every night, wondering where the fuck you are because you're my boyfriend but i know nothing about you! i never get a text, a call, nothing! instead you come home at god knows what time, and act as if i don't exist. fuck tom, you won't even cuddle me in bed anymore." my voice begins to trail off, tears beginning to cloud my vision, my tongue instinctively hitting the roof of my mouth to stop them from falling.

he stays silent, breaking his eyes away from mine and staring into his lap, his fingers playing with the material of his jeans.

"do you even love me anymore?" i ask, genuinely questioning if he feels the same way he did when we first met, the man that fell in love with me no longer in front of me.

"what? of course i fucking love you. what kind of question is that?" his head shoots upwards, his eyebrows threading together as if i have asked the most ridiculous question, though it was one nagging on my mind.

"really? it doesn't seem like it." i reply, shaking my head and biting my lip, the tears now spilling beyond my control.

"i'm going to bed." i mumble, not waiting for a response from tom as i head for our shared bedroom. the sheets feel cold as i allow them to envelop me, the warmth that i would feel from tom's embrace lost, leaving me empty. it is impossible to fall asleep, my body laid on its side facing away from the door and staring motionless at the wall, longing to be in his arms, safe and content, free of the gut-wrenching realisation that our relationship is not the same as it was.

the door slowly creaks open after a while, my eyes quickly flicking shut as i pretend to be asleep, not keen on the idea of speaking to tom, not whilst his mind is acting so irrationally, mine sensitive enough that any argument would break down my already crumbling walls. i hear the bed dip beside me, tom laying flat on his back, whilst i stay put, not daring to look at him, instead keeping my back to him. the distance between us speaks volumes, tension reaching an all time high.

after a few minutes, the bed creaks, indicating that tom is moving from his initial position. as he has done for the past nights, i expect him to shuffle to the edge of the bed, increasing our already far proximity and confirming the fact that he cannot bare the thought of being near me.

however, much to my disbelief, i feel an arm droop around my waist from behind, tom's hand gently touching my stomach as he tests the waters, clearly thinking that i am deep in sleep. deciding to stay still, my eyes remain closed, accepting this small act of affection, for it is all i have experienced in the past weeks. but, to my surprise, he doesn't stop there.

he moves closer, his chest now flush against my back, pulling me tighter into him as i feel his uncertain breathing against the nape of my neck. my breath instinctively hitches at his unexpected actions, alerting him of my consciousness.

"baby?" he whispers into the dark room, not moving as he awaits my response.

"hm?" i mutter, unsure of what to say, not intending to reveal the fact that i was in fact awake, my cover completely blown as i lay, small and vulnerable, beside him, his body against me for the first time in forever. the uncertainty of what his response will be creates a sickly feeling in my chest. he could want to fight, to let out the last of his anger from our unfinished argument. or, he could want to fix things, to be the boyfriend he used to be. and right now, my mind was going with the first option, assuming the worst and bracing myself for more of his harsh words.

"we need to talk." he speaks, his breath fanning against my neck with each word.

i knew that he was right, my heart aching slightly as the possibility of resolving whatever the fuck we have become finally starts to feel real, not just something that i have longed for.

refusing to face him, i slowly nod my head, awaiting his response, the sound of our steady breathing the only thing to be heard in the silent room.

"i'm so sorry baby." he speaks, slowly and sincerely, his hand that is draped over my stomach beginning to slowly caress the bare skin there, comforting me in the best way. tears begin to silently roll down my cheeks as i struggle to find the right words to say.

he takes my silence as a chance to continue. "what happened to us my love, hm?" he begins, sighing slowly and increasing his hold on me, the pet name causing my heart to swell, making me realise how much i truly missed his affection, wether it be verbal or physical - i just craved him.

short sniffles emit from my mouth, giving away my weakness faster than i would have preferred. tom quickly picks up on this, finally turning me to face him, our eyes meeting, his immediately softening once he takes in my state - eyes bloodshot, tears staining my cheeks, mouth curved into a frown.

"oh baby..." he trails off, taking his hand and beginning to wipe my tears away one by one, the other gently stroking my hair. i melt into his touch, allowing him to comfort me silently. "i can't carry on like this, i just- i need to be with you again, not just in a relationship with you, i want to actually feel close to you again."

he pours his heart out, all whilst wiping any loose tears that fell from my eyes, which never left his, the love in them beginning to flood back as i can slowly recognise the man i fell in love with.

"do you really think that i don't love you anymore?" he asks, guilt evident in his tone as he feels nothing but anger for making me doubt how he felt about me.

i try to find the right words, swallowing nervously. "you didn't want to be anywhere near me tom. i can't even remember the last time you told me that you loved me." uttering those words made me realise how bad things had really gotten. tom would tell me he loved me at every chance he got, never failing to remind me of how he felt. but looking back, those three words felt so foreign that my mind couldn't even remember when he had last uttered them. and the realisation hit him just as hard as it did me.

"oh meine liebe...i'm so sorry." he starts, now slowly kissing away each tear that stained my tinted cheeks, holding my face gently in his hands. "i love you. i love you so so much. never ever forget that, okay?"

i nod my head, swallowing the lump in my throat away. "i love you too."

a slight smile appears on his face, my hand reaching to his head as i pull it closer, playing with the loose braids there. tom takes advantage of our nearing proximity, grabbing my face and gently connecting his lips with mine. for the first time in days, our lips touched, immediately moulding together as if they had never been apart. he smiles into the kiss, moving his hands to my lower back, pulling me closer to him and embracing me, our lips never parting. the desire, the passion in which our lips collided reaffirming our love without the need for words, my body and soul slips further into his touch, reminding me just how much i missed intimate moments like this with him.

he slowly pulls away for air, his lips, now pink and swollen, flush against mine, foreheads touching. "i promise baby, that i'll never give up on us, no matter how hard it gets. i'll never stop loving you, ever."

deciding that actions speak louder than words, i reconnect our lips once more, with much more desire and hunger than the previous one. he picks up on this need, reciprocating it and pressing his lips so hard onto mine that my breathing becomes muffled and there is no option of pulling away - but in this moment, parting from him doesn't even cross my mind. his hand moves to my thigh, placing it over his and kneading the flesh roughly as we lay facing each other, a small whimper escaping my mouth at his actions. our lips fail to part, making up for the lost kisses that we had so desperately yearned for.

lust soon takes over the innocence, my need for him growing by the second as our kisses become harsher, his tongue entering my mouth, mine gladly reciprocating. "i love you." he whispers breathlessly against my lips, pulling away slowly and studying my face. his thumb tugs at my lip, his eyes never leaving mine as he drags it down the now plump skin at an agonisingly slow pace, until he releases my bottom lip, it quickly bouncing back into place, his thumb now slightly wet with my saliva.

"you're so beautiful." he whispers, caressing my cheeks, taking in every inch of me as if this is the first time he has seen me.

"i need you tom." i mutter, looking into his eyes with a glint of desperation, longing to feel him again, our distance meaning it has been so long since we have kissed like we just did, let alone fuck.

within seconds, his lips are back on mine, his body moving in one swift motion on top of me without breaking the kiss, hands clutching mine, mirroring the hunger i feel.

"then i'm all yours." he mutters against my lips, reattaching them and entering his tongue as i gladly accept, moaning slightly into the kiss, a small smirk appearing on his lips in response.

he pulls away, looking into my eyes before reaching for the hem of my t-shirt and whispering "can i?"

i slowly nod my head, the soft fabric being pulled off my body and somewhere on the floor, both tom and i too needy to care where. his eyes scan my body, a hint of adoration within his eyes, his hands reaching for my small lace bra, undoing the back and tossing it aside. he pauses, gazing down at me, drinking in my features, everything exposed to him. despite the look of awe on his face, insecurity takes over, and my hands instinctively cover my breasts, breaking eye contact from him.

tom quickly takes his hands, placing them over mine and moving them away so that he could see me once again. "don't cover yourself, you're so beautiful."

i hesitantly nod my head, moving to remove tom's shirt, his chiselled abs and torso now on display. refusing to break eye contact, my hand slowly runs down the skin, feeling every bump, every muscle there, his breathing hitching as i do so. it has been so long since i had felt his bare skin against mine that it almost didn't feel real, my being lost in pleasure despite us not taking anything further yet.

i soon become impatient, pulling his face downwards and kissing him once more, his hands reaching for my panties and slowly pulling them down, soon removing his boxers, leaving us completely naked.

he pulls away, staring into my eyes and positioning himself at my entrance. "are you sure my love?" he asks, searching my expression for any sense of doubt, hating the idea of forcing me to do anything.

"yes...just fuck me, please." i breathe out, craving the feeling i have missed so much.

he smiles slightly, before slowly sliding in, groaning as he does so, my walls clenching around him, not used to his size as it has been so long since we have last done this. once he is fully inside, he stops. "you okay baby? does it hurt?"

"no...move tom." i reply, and he slowly begins thrusting in and out of me at a steady pace, whines emitting from my mouth as my eyes squeeze shut. his head finds the crook of my neck, groaning into it and beginning to kiss the skin, sucking lightly and leaving marks whilst speeding up his pace.

"oh my god." he mutters into the skin, his hands running up and down my waist until they find a stable hold on my hips, thrusting easier whilst his thumbs caress me, slightly digging in, however the slight pain only fuels my fire, moans now escaping from my mouth.

"oh tom..." i trail off, hands raking down his back, pulling him downwards so our bodies our flush against each other, desperate to feel any part of him, to be closer, despite him literally being inside me.

"i love you so much." he groans out, taking my legs and wrapping them around his waist.

he continues to thrust in and out of me, his tip hitting my g-spot, and i cry out. "oh god, right there tom..."

"here baby?" he taunts, hitting the spot again, causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head. he abuses that spot, my stomach beginning to tighten as the familiar feeling soon takes over.

i clench around him, feeling my release creep closer and closer. "fuck schatz, do that again." he breathes out, and i tighten my walls again, a choked moan escaping his mouth.

"i'm close." he manages to let out, speeding up his pace and capturing my lips into a kiss, moaning into my mouth. i struggle to kiss back, holding back sounds of pleasure each time he thrusts in and out, the sound of my heavy breathing muffled in the kiss.

"tom...i'm gonna, oh my god!" i cry out against his lips, feeling my release wash over me, eyes rolling to the back of my head as i swear i see stars.

"oh fuckkk..." tom drags out, throwing his head back, jaw slack as he follows, my release triggering his own, the feeling of his cum coating my walls emitting another small whine from my mouth.

he moves slowly, thrusting in and out whilst he rides out our highs before collapsing on top of me, sweat coating his forehead. his head rests in my neck, breathing uneven and heavy, planting gentle kisses on the bare skin. i struggle to catch my own breath, my fingers running through his hair, body trembling as the adrenaline slowly wears off.

"i love you so much my love. i'm sorry for everything, i promise i'll never treat you like that again." he says, planting a single kiss on my shoulder.

"i love you too." i reply, tom lifting his head upwards and meeting my lips in a soft kiss, pulling away and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"goodnight meine liebe." he whispers, placing the covers over the both of us as i snuggle closer, resting my head on his bare chest as he slowly strokes my hair, falling asleep in each other's embrace.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Hi there, I love your writing and I’m always amazed how you write so much every day!

Could I request a story where G!P Donna and Reader haven’t made love yet because Donna always makes excuses and seems very shy about it and Reader doesn’t want to pressure her, but it’s starting to make Reader feel a little insecure and she wonders if Donna doesn’t desire her in that way. Donna starts spending more time hiding away in her workshop and one day Reader enters and finds her masturbating there. Donna is embarrassed and admits that she’s worried she wouldn’t have enough stamina to please Reader during sex since it would be her first time, and admits she’s been disappearing to ‘take care of her needs’ multiple times a day to train herself to last a long time. Reader just reassures her it’ll be fine no matter what, pulls her to the bedroom and they finally make love, it’s very gentle with Reader slowly riding her, and they both enjoy it a lot.

Yess!!! Thank you for your kindness! Yes, it's a hard work, but I love doing it!!!! Thank you for your request too!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :))))

Please you

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem!! Reader

Warnings: G!P Donna, smut, Minors DNI, fluff,

Word count: 7,507

Summary: You were trying to be loved, but she's alwasy so shy...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!!I love you all!!!

The music sounded distant, as if that record wasn't really spinning, as if nothing around really existed, only her and you. Only you, a common village girl dancing with a lady in black, letting your hands caress each other, letting your bodies move.

In your life you always looked for an easy love, a girl from the village who would smile at you, who seemed kind, who would end up breaking your heart. Already plunged into the despair of having been born in the wrong place, at the wrong time, you stopped believing that there really was someone for you out there.

But by chance, you met the woman who was now your dance partner, the woman who caressed you, who pleased you with thousands of compliments, who kissed you, thanking you for your simple existence.

Donna Beneviento, the village Lord, servant of Mother Miranda, was nothing but a dark legend for your family, for the rest of the villagers like you. Meeting her was a coincidence, loving her was simply destiny.

She was… Everything you were looking for, everything you dreamed of after every failure, after every love disappointment. She was a sick woman, self-conscious about her appearance, about the cruel gifts the Black Gods had granted her. But she was… Simply Donna, simply something you could not categorize, an intelligent, shy woman, who blushed every time you reminded her how beautiful she was without that horrible black veil on.

Loving her was a reflex action, involuntary but desired. No matter how many problems, how many absurd fears, how many unfounded jealousies, you would never leave. You would never fulfill her greatest fear, the fear of fear itself, being left alone again.

And so, under the dim light of that mansion, under the diffuse sound of that romantic music, you danced in silence, with a smile, with nothing to say, with much to feel.

You sighed when the music stopped leaning on her chest, closing your eyes to feel the soft movements of a shy woman, that soft laugh that was always accompanied by a blush.

“I had a great time tonight, tesoro,” the lady whispered, moving you away so she could see that smile, the one she adored.

You nodded, sighing again, capturing her lips in a soft, tender kiss, one of those for which you would be capable of selling your soul even to Mother Miranda herself.

“Mm, well, it's been like any other night,” you joked in a soft voice, playing with her hands. Her gaze cooled and she frowned.

“What do you mean?” Donna asked in a more serious, worried tone.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. That she understood your jokes, your words with double meanings or a normal conversation between two people was something still needed to be improved.

“I mean... I have a good time with you every night, Donna,” you whispered in a playful way, creating with your words, a new dazzling smile on her face.

“Oh, good,” she said nervously, nodding embarrassed by her clumsiness.

“I love those romantic dinners you prepare for me...” you whispered in a much more affectionate, more direct tone, slowly approaching her ear. “I think I couldn't live without them.”

Donna laughed again, kissing you slowly, sailing on your lips again and gently grabbing your waist. You, sighing, hoping that, indeed, that night would not end like all the others, with a quick kiss and the bedroom light turned off, bit your lip.

“But... Maybe it's too soon to call it a night, don't you think?” you purred in her ear, unintentionally causing her to shudder, shyly moving away.

“Aren't you tired?” she asked innocently, blinking in confusion.

You, accustomed to this game of pretending that your advances had no effect on her, approached again, shaking your head and absentmindedly playing with the buttons of her dress.

“Not at all,” you said in a soft, suggestive tone, one that not even the most naive person in the world would be able to ignore. “Mmm, we could do something, you know.”

“Like what?” the lady asked, curious, with a nervous laugh.

“Well, I thought maybe… We could go down to the basement and…” you suggested, pretending that you weren't as direct as you seemed, that you weren't looking forward to taking a much-desired next step in your relationship, one that was taking too long to arrive.

“To, to the basement,” she repeated, with a more relaxed face, subtly fleeing from your caresses on her chest, from your glassy eyes that conveyed fierceness and lust.

“Yes, Donna, to the basement,” you said amused, not allowing the lady to escape again, grabbing her by the waist, closing your two hands on her back, keeping her close, very close. “I thought… Well, we could bring down some of that delicious wine and…”

“Oh, do you want to watch a movie?” she said in a different tone, less fearful. She always did the same.

She always was deflecting your attempts to seduce her in an almost masterful way. For some time now, you've been wondering if she really was that innocent, or if she was just playing with you.

“Um…” you whispered confused, releasing her from your grip and scratching the back of your neck at another of your failures.

Maybe your problem was subtlety, maybe it was just you, you didn't know, and you didn't want to think about it.

“I, I'd really like to watch a movie with you, (Y/N),” she said nervously, playing with her hands, as if that romantic atmosphere had been blurred by your attempt to dance under the sheets.

Well, a partially darkened room with the woman you loved by your side… It didn't sound like a bad idea.

“Okay, let's watch a movie,” you said with a slightly forced smile, with your head thinking of hundreds, thousands of strategies you could use to take advantage of the situation.

Donna nodded enthusiastically, kissing you quickly and taking your hand, walking with you to the elevator.

“What do you think of this one?” she asked, showing you a metal box while you sat on the small sofa, enjoying her movements, her discreet curses at the mess of the old office.

Without much effort, you looked up to read the title and nodded passively. Donna looked at you again, smiling as she did every time, as if, deep inside, she also had the horrible feeling that you were nothing but an illusion.

The white screen began to light up and, with a sigh, the lady in black sat next to you, putting her arm around your shoulders, leaning you against her body.

Imbued with her floral perfume, being caressed by her soft hands, by her fingers playing with your hair, you almost forgot what you wanted. Love, romance always came before your needs, Donna's love for you, your love for her.

A romantic movie wasn't the best of scenarios either. You were always too emotional.

“But why is he leaving? She loved him,” you said, watching for the umpteenth time the scene at the airport, the one that couldn't help but make you cry. Donna looked at you and kissed your head, snuggling you closer to her body.

“You always say the same thing in this scene,” she said, amused, wiping away one of your tears. “Don't cry, tesoro... It's just a movie.”

“I know but... Sometimes I imagine something else is going to happen, you know? But no, the idiot always leaves, leaves her with a broken heart. Hey, couldn't you make people hallucinate?”

Donna shifted, ashamed of the powers that turned her into a monster, according to her, that turned her into a warning, into a terrifying story to tell around the fire.

“I... I can,” she sighed, squeezing the hand that was tangled in your hair, nervous, without realizing she was starting to hurt you.

You, used to those little attacks, those that you almost always caused without wanting to, took your hand away from your hair, kissing it with affection and an understanding smile.

“I didn't want to make you nervous, I just, I just want to know if you could change the ending of that disgusting movie,” you said with an amused tone, thus driving away her demons. “I mean, you could make me watch it, right?”

“It doesn't work that way, (Y/N),” she said with a still nervous tone, but breathing slowly to calm down. “I don't know what could happen to you if I…”

“Okay, okay, it was just an idea…” you said, moving your hands to forget that awkward conversation. “Why don't we watch another one?” you asked, getting up from the sofa, recovering, after that disastrous ending, the desire to want to satisfy your desires.

“It's a bit late, isn't it?” she asked, amused, watching how, clumsily, you moved the boxes, searching.

“No,” you said amused, extending a new box towards the brunette, who looked at it, and then at you, with a knowing smile.

“It's okay,” she whispered, kissing you as she got up to carefully change the movie.

At least a comedy movie wouldn't interfere with your intentions.

You laughed, you hugged each other again. Time passed even faster, like a sinister countdown that prevented you from making your well-studied movements. Stopping paying attention to Chaplin, you moved a little closer to the lady in black, kissing her neck subtly.

Donna moved nervously, but she didn't say anything to you, she didn't even turn to look at you. Good...

Your kisses continued to be soft, subtle, your fingers caressing the visible parts of her skin. A shy smile formed on her lips as she hugged your body, bringing you closer, giving you more opportunities to attack.

Your hand turned her face, held it so your lips mercilessly launched themselves at hers. She didn't cut off your kisses, she returned them, trying to maintain that subtle fierceness, those soft gasps that unintentionally began to escape from her lips.

“(Y/N)” she said nervously, putting a hand on your chest so you would give her a break. You looked at her with a good girl face, blinking petulantly. “The, the movie.”

“Oh,” you said, looking at the screen, which was now simply illuminated, without displaying any image. “Oh, it's over,” you whispered, pretending to pout, kissing her again, crawling across the small sofa until you could push her so her back was leaning on it.

“Wait,” she said, trying to speak among deep kisses, controlling your hands, which traveled restlessly over her dress.

You, sighing, stopped, without moving away, cornering her on the sofa.

“We, we should go…To, to bed,” Lady Beneviento stammered, breathing heavily, her legs shaking from the caresses of your hands.

Your smile widened even more. Maybe you had finally gotten her to give in to giving you what you wanted. You were just being naive…

“It's true… It's much better there,” you whispered, standing up, grabbing her hand and pulling it. Donna didn't move and you stopped short. “Donna?”

“No, you didn't understand me… I… I'm, I'm sleepy,” she said, faking a loud yawn. You rolled your eyes, predicting another resounding failure. “I want to go to bed to, to sleep.”

“Sleep? Really?” you asked with frustration darkening the tone of your voice, the intonation of your words. Laughing nervously, you turned around, with your hands on your hips, kicking the floor impatiently.

Donna nodded nervously, unable to look you in the eyes. You remained thoughtful, seeing the desperate attitude of the brunette, observing her until you realized a small detail.

“Wow, what's that?” you joked, pointing shamelessly at the deformity of her dress, one that betrayed her own arousal.

The lady in black looked at the same spot, covering her noticeable erection with her hands, terribly embarrassed.

“I'm, I'm sorry,” she apologized, with her cheeks flushed, moving away from you so you would stop looking at her. “I…”

“Oh, please, Donna…” you purred again, trapping the brunette in your arms again. She moved nervously, with a shy look, her breathing even more agitated. “Come on, come here, I'll help you with that.”

“What? No… No… It's just that…” she said, playing with your hands so they wouldn't go down her dress, comically backing away while you slowly chased her, stalking her. “It, it was unintentional.”

“Unintentional,” you murmured, nodding reluctantly, arching your eyebrows to emphasize your lustful eyes, trapping poor Donna against a wall.

She nodded, maneuvering her way out of your arms, moving away from you as she played with her hands.

“Hey, come on, come here Donna,” you said with an impatient tone, chasing her again as she circled around the furniture to escape your lust. “What are you doing?”

“I can't, (Y/N),” she said shyly, when you managed to catch her again.

You, sighing defeated once more, looking into her bright, wet eye, nodded, relaxing your grip.

“Oh, okay…” you murmured in a sad voice, moving away from her, rolling your eyes. A strong hand grabbed your wrist, pulling you back.

“I'm sorry, tesoro… But it's just…” she said with a pleading tone, caressing your cheek, searching for the words in her mind, the ones she couldn't seem to find. “I'm just… A, a bit tired.”

“You're always tired,” you whispered softly, reassuring yourself.

No, you couldn't insist, you promised her that you would wait, that you wouldn't pressure her.

Donna lowered her head, sobbing, embarrassed by her attitude, by having disappointed you once again.

“Hey, hey, come on…” you said softly, cupping her face in your hands, relaxing your expression and repressing your instincts. “I didn't mean to be like that, honey… I'm sorry.”

She nodded, letting you rest her forehead against yours while she grabbed your waist, while her sobs calmed down little by little.

“Donna, I'm sorry, okay?” you repeated with a more understanding voice, regretful for that stupid chase, for breaking your word of being patient and wait. “I didn't want to ruin this night.”

The lady in black nodded slowly, sighing, hugging you almost desperately, grabbing your clothes as she buried her head in your shoulder.

“Come on, come on…” you said, comforting her crying, her shame. “Nothing, is wrong…”

“I'm, I'm sorry, (Y/N), I…” she stammered, moving away. “I think, I think it'll be better if… I go to bed.”

“I'm going with you,” you said with a tender smile.

Donna shook her head.

“No, I, I want, I want to be alone, per favore…” she murmured.

If she wanted to be alone you had to let her be. Her mind was too hurt. Your actions always had consequences that you couldn't foresee. It was better to leave her alone.

“Donna…” you sighed, with the doll maker already leaving through the door, with the sound of heels walking quickly through the hallways.

Taking a breath, passing a hand over your forehead, you let yourself fall back on the sofa.

Another mistake, another failure.

Yes, you were not the typical girl who considered sex as an essential pillar of a relationship, that love was shown by how many times two bodies fused into one. No, you were not like that, you were romantic, understanding.

But little by little that desire to break the last barrier that remained between Donna and you became stronger and stronger. It was not just lust, desire, livid, no, it was love, it was the most intimate expression of it, the last step of mutual feelings, the last peak to climb.

Donna was shy, an isolated woman for much of her life. You could not blame her for being reluctant to make love, for being afraid of that moment. You knew how ashamed she was of the gift of the Gods. To find out what was hidden under that black dress took you quite a while.

You never cared. You only cared about her, only Donna was important to you, not those stupid and insignificant details.

Time passed, and that moment, that night of passion never came. Excuses, absurd rushes, non-existent commitments… Anything was good to make you stop insisting, to keep your claws and stop harassing Donna with your insinuations. You could have given up a long time ago, but you didn't want to. If you didn't do anything, that moment would never come.

Shyness, loneliness, shame… There were many things that could prevent Donna from making love to you, but, of all of them, there was one that really worried you.

She had never been with anyone, no one had ever loved her, kissed her, caressed her… All those sensations were new to the lady in black. Love was something she didn't know about. The more stupid and ridiculous her excuses were, the louder the thoughts that began to haunt your mind.

What if she really didn't love you?

What if she keeps you with her just so she won't be alone?

Does she love you?

Questions that led to a dangerous answer, to a no, to a denial of her feelings when it came to intimacy, to a lack of desire for you, to not wanting to dive into the depths of someone she didn't really love.

It seemed absurd. Her body reacted to your caresses, to your kisses. That was much worse. If Donna really didn't love you, she wasn't going to let her body take the initiative, she didn't believe in sex without love, she told you that several times.

The bedroom was lit, and a black shadow rested on the bed. The lady in black was crying, face down, against a pillow. You sighed.

“Hey, Donna,” -you whispered quietly, sitting on the bed and resting your hand on her shoulder. The lady was startled, revealing her face wet with tears.

“Leave me alone,” she whispered with a broken voice. You weren't going to listen to her, of course.

“Donna...” you sighed again, pulling her up, unable to reject your comforting touch. “Come on, calm down.”

“I'm, I'm calm,” she said in a serious tone, changing her wounded face to a cold one, to one that made a shiver run down your spine.

“It was my fault, really,” you said in a soft voice, rubbing her back, taking her shaking hand. “I promised I wouldn't pressure you and I did, forgive me.”

She shook her head, shifting on the spot and looking down, still holding your hand.

“Why is it so important to you?” she asked in a cold tone, her gaze lost. You sighed once more, searching for an answer you didn't have.

“It's not that important,” you said unsure of your own words. “I would just really like to make love to you, Donna.”

The lady in black nodded slowly, a familiar blush creeping across her cheeks.

“I'm sure you've made it with many people,” she whispered, playing with the sheet, threatening to tear it from the pressure of her hands.

You closed your eyes, taking a breath. It was a dangerous conversation.

“Well... With...” you started to say, interrupted by a hand covering your mouth along with an angry growl.

“Basta, I don't want to hear it,” she protested, squeezing her hand tightly.

You, with a gasp, pushed her away. You had to use a lot of strength. Again, she was very nervous.

“You’ve asked me,” you said taking a breath, keeping her hand in your lap, fighting against its trembling.

“I didn't ask you, it was a statement,” she hissed, removing her hand from yours with a nervous gasp. “You should learn to listen better.”

“Oh, okay,” you said with a surprised smile, your brow furrowed by that brusque tone of the brunette. “I don't listen, huh?”

“No, you don’t,” Donna whispered dryly, looking away again. “You never listen.”

“Great, now it’s my fault,” you said incredulously, pointing at yourself.

“It's the first thing you said when you arrived,” the lady defended herself, with an arrogant tone, defensive, as always when her fears danced uncontrolled in her mind.

“So you do listen?” you asked ironically.

“Yes, I do,” she answered, moving away a little more, crossing her arms.

You snorted, closing your eyes to calm yourself, to not let your pride eat up her problems, to not start another horrible argument.

“Listen to me Donna, I, I don't know what it is that scares you, but... I can tell you what scares me.”

She looked at you, calmer but with the same hateful gleam in her eyes.

“I'm afraid of... That... That you don't love me,” you sighed, letting out your own fears. You couldn't expect any other kind of reaction.

The lady in black got up from the bed, looking at you angrily.

“What? I don't love you? How can you say that?” she asked with a frown. You, tired of falling into her traps, shrugged your shoulders, looking at your nails with disinterest.

“I don't know, I don't feel... Desired,” you murmured, changing pity for a riskier, more dangerous strategy.

“Is love just feeling desired for you?” she asked furiously, with white knuckles due to the pressure of her closed fists.

“No, but it helps,” you said with a cocky tone.

“Stupida...” the lady growled, pacing back and forth in the room, nervous, terribly nervous.

“Oh, you insult me, great,” you said amused, pretending to enjoy that situation.

“You don't... You don't understand...” she said, stopping walking, turning around while running a hand through her hair. “You don't understand, (Y/N).”

You smiled subtly, getting up and grabbing her from behind gently by the waist. She struggled, but gave in, sighing sadly again.

“You're right. I don't understand...” you whispered in a calm voice, turning her around little by little. “That's why I want you to tell me what the problem is. Talk to me, Donna, please.”

“You wouldn't understand, you'll laugh at me,” she said, with a shy tone, showing again her true helplessness, one that sometimes you adored.

“I won't, I promise,” you whispered, caressing her face lovingly, giving her a kind of emotional support with your hand.

Donna seemed to want to say something, but after a few seconds, she changed her mind, walking away from you, sitting on the bed with a tired sigh.

“(Y/N)… Do you love me?” the lady asked in a low, almost inaudible voice. You frowned and walked next to her.

“Of course I love you,” you said with a smile, bending down and leaning on her knees, rubbing them affectionately.

The lady in black smiled back at you, a shy smile, almost imperceptible.

“Me too,” she whispered. “And I, I would really like to… You know, show it to you.”

“Fine,” you said, getting up and sitting next to her, comically pinching her cheek, giving your ears another of her shy laughs.

“I just… I need some time,” Donna said with a serious tone, looking at you out of the corner of her eye.

“It's okay, Donna, I'll give you all the time you need…” you finally said, kissing her lips, sealing that bitter discussion, accepting that, if you wanted to love her fully, you would have to wait.

After that day there weren't many changes. Love, kisses, caresses… Everything seemed to continue as always. That was a good sign, the sign that your own insecurities hadn't affected hers. You pretended to have forgotten, you stopped making suggestions, getting closer to her attraction, you let her go at her own pace.

Donna seemed much calmer with you, she didn't seem to fidget as much when your hand traveled over her chest. But, despite that positive change, that increase in confidence, her shy and embarrassed attitude was still very present.

Making dolls was always something that kept her isolated from the world, including you. Normally, she spent hours in her workshop, working almost obsessively. You were always the one who came down, the one who claimed her attention.

But lately, she told you that she was too busy to allow herself distractions. That didn't surprise you, but that kind of routine escape to the basement did, that time when the lady in black seemed to want to hide.

You had left her alone, she had nothing to fear, you weren't going to throw yourself at her neck. Even so, she always vanished for a while, many times, even without you realizing it. It wasn't a normal situation, but it wasn't something you weren't prepared for either. You just had to remember all those years of loneliness.

“Checkmate, silly,” Angie said, in one of your new and frequent chess games. Donna's absence made the doll's behavior much worse. Something that was also… Suspicious.

“You win again… Yay…” you said with false enthusiasm, knocking down your king.

“I'm the best,” she said proudly, laughing in a way that could scare even the bravest.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, something that alerted the doll.

“Do you have something to say, loser?” she mocked. You blinked cockily and leaned back on the couch.

“Yeah, where's Donna? It's almost two,” you asked, looking at the clock and frowning.

“In her workshop,” Angie answered, placing the pieces back on the board.

“I know. It was a rhetorical question,” you sighed, moving your legs impatiently. “Why aren't you with her?”

Angie shrugged comically.

“I don't know, she said she wanted to be alone,” Angie explained to you, with a surprisingly calmer tone.

“Um…” you said, arching your eyebrows.

“Let's play again,” the doll said, jumping on the floor. You, tired of that situation, shook your head, getting up with a sigh.

“Maybe later. I'm going to look for her, she might have fallen asleep,” you murmured, moving away from the doll, who suddenly turned around, tugging at your dress.

“Donna doesn't want you there, stupid,” Angie protested. You, with a mocking look, released the wooden hands from your clothes.

“Maybe she doesn’t, but I'm her girlfriend,” you said, walking towards the elevator. “I can bother her if I want.”

Sticking your tongue out at Angie, and enduring her angry insults, you went down to the basement. The place was sinister, but that silence... It wasn't normal.

You walked slowly towards the doors of the workshop, uncomfortable for disturbing her, for disobeying her request of not interrupt her work. But that day it was later than usual, and curiosity and suspicion ran through your veins.

“(Y/N)...” a broken whisper reached your ears behind the wooden doors.

You were about to open them, but upon hearing that panting voice, you stopped with a confused look.

Little by little, you opened the door, poking your head through it, with a perfectly rehearsed look of apology.

What you saw almost made you give yourself away.

The lady in black was sitting in front of her work table, with her head down, with her arm moving slowly between her legs. You opened your eyes wide and covered yourself so as not to laugh at that sight.

Her breathing was labored and her movements were calm, but quite obvious, you knew what she was doing perfectly well.

“Hey, Donna,” you said amused, entering the workshop when she seemed more focused, startling her, making her turn around with a terrified look. “Why didn't you wait for me?”

“What are you doing here?!” she shouted furiously, storing her erection in her dress, hiding something that you had already seen, and that it was too late to hide. “I told you not to disturb me! Cazzo! Go away, fuori! Go away!”

“But Donna, what were you doing?” you said, unmovable by the sudden pushes of the doll maker, who trembled with rage and shame.

“Silenzio! Shut up, go away, go away!” the lady shouted, pushing you desperately, not letting you look at her face.

“Hey, stop, you're hurting me,” you said, rubbing one of your shoulders. That was enough to make her stop growling nervously, returning to her table, not letting you see the blush on her cheeks.

“Go away…” she said, breathing deeply, pointing to the workshop door, turning her back on you.

“No, I'm not leaving,” you said sighing, walking slowly towards her, leaning over to see her face disoriented by your intrusion. “Donna…” you hummed. She pressed her lips together, but didn't look at you. “Were you touching yourself?”

“No,” she answered with a dangerous hiss, avoiding eye contact with you despite your movements to get it.

“Of course you were,” you said amused, with that image firmly fixed in your head, an image that, on the other hand, caused a tickling between your legs. “I caught you, honey.”

“So… So what if you caught me,” the doll maker whispered with a broken voice, with anger being a shield for her shame again. “I can do whatever I want. If I want to masturbate, I’ll masturbate.”

“Oh, sure, right…” you said nodding, letting yourself fall into a nearby chair, holding back your laughter at her attitude. “How selfish of you, you could have called me.”

Donna gasped ironically, shaking her head and closing her eye while she buried her head in her arms.

“Damn…” she murmured, pulling at her hair, not knowing how to deal with that situation.

“Come on, it's okay,” you said, calming your laughter and getting a little closer. “It's something natural. You have nothing to be ashamed of... You know what? The other day in the shower... I started thinking about you and...”

“Taci,” she interrupted you, raising her head and sighing in defeat. “You still don't understand anything, do you?”

“Do I have something to understand?” you asked curiously, seeing how the lady in black didn't seem to want to put up with your jokes.

“Do you think I do it just for fun?” she asked back, with a serious look, with your hand again controlling the trembling of hers. You nodded calmly, frowning.

“Well, people usually do it for fun,” you said softly, understandingly.

“I don't,” she said, removing your hand from hers, turning around so you couldn't see her.

“Oh, okay,” you sighed, resting an elbow on the table. Donna looked at you thoughtfully and tilted her head up, letting the air out of her lungs slowly.

“Maybe, maybe… Before I met you I… I did it from time to time, you know, my body asked for it.”

“Uh-huh,” you said understandingly, nodding, listening attentively. “It's a need.”

“Yes,” she sighed. “But when, when I met you… Everything, everything was so different, so… New to me…”

“I understand,” you whispered, tenderly touching her shoulder. She grabbed your hand, interlacing your fingers, lowering it to her lap.

“I've never made love to anyone, (Y/N). I, I guess you already knew that but, but I've never told you,” Donna confessed to you.

Yes, you already knew, but it was true that it was something you sensed, not that you knew for sure.

“I know, don't worry,” you said, keeping that smile that reassured her.

“Not, not even... You know, before, before... This,” she said, briefly pointing to her lap.

“Well, it doesn't have to be a bad thing,” you said, helping her express herself with soft caresses, with eyes that could only convey love.

“It is!” Donna shrieked abruptly, blinking erratically. “You still, you still don't understand it... I'm, I'm afraid of...”

“Of what, my love?” you asked, guiding her face to yours, a sad and embarrassed face, but equally beautiful.

“Of not satisfying you,” the lady finally said, lowering her head.

“What nonsense,” you joked incredulously, finally giving an explanation to that fear, to that reluctance, to that constant rejection.

“It must be nonsense to you. To me it's not,” she said with a slightly dark tone, annoyed by your words. “I don’t… I don’t know if I’ll be able to… You know, last long enough.”

You blinked, holding back your laughter again. Yes, it was an understandable, but a stupid concern for you.

“Donna,” you said, amused. “Is that why you didn’t want to…?”

“I can’t fail you, (Y/N), you, you’re the love of my life and I’m just… I’m just… Useless.”

“Don’t say that,” you whispered lovingly, turning her face back to look at you. She slowly pulled away, shaking her head. “You’re not useless.”

“I am,” she answered abruptly, controlling the desire she had to lose control of her emotions. “I've been, I've been trying for days… Trying, trying to… La, last a little longer…”

“Wait, days?” you asked amused, opening your eyes wide. “Are you telling me that every time you went down to the workshop it was to…?”

Donna just nodded nervously, hiding her embarrassment as best she could.

“Well, well, well…” you murmured, giving her a nudge. “I didn't expect that.”

“You're making fun of me,” the lady hissed, with a dark look, moving away.

“No, no, Donna,” you said hastily. “I'm not making fun of you, I'm just… I'm surprised.”

“Are you surprised because I masturbate to be able to please you?” she asked in an annoyed, offended manner. You nodded effusively.

“Yes, in fact I am,” you whispered, sighing romantically. “No one has ever done… Something like that for me.”

“Enough, stop laughing at me,” Donna said, furious, getting up from the chair, her breathing altered again. You got up too, waving your hands in a gesture of reassurance.

“Yes, I’m laughing at you,” you admitted cockily, crossing your arms. “Oh, Donna, don't worry. I'll enjoy it, I'm sure.”

“That's what you say now,” she growled, pushing away some wild hands that were pulling at her waist. “Then, you'll, you'll get tired and… You'll, you'll leave me.”

You, not wanting to continue another of her self-presenting monologues, silenced the brunette's fears with a quick, intense but short kiss, which made her blink in confusion.

“Donna… You're very sweet,” you whispered romantically, with an amused but sincere smile, returning the softness of her skin to your hands, caressing her cheek. “You don't have to do that for me, do you understand? I will always love you, I will always want you.”

“But, but…” the lady stammered, on the verge of tears.

“Shh,” you hissed, putting a finger on her lips, with a smile that slowly became seductive. “Do you know how to get rid of the fear of heights?”

Donna shook her head, nervous, but accepting your approach.

“Looking over a cliff…” you whispered in her ear, moving away slowly, taking her hand and leaving the workshop with her.

“Where are we going?” she asked confused, with her hand firmly in yours as your steps, increasingly slower, headed towards the bedroom.

“Let's get this over with,” you said in a velvety tone, opening the door, walking with a soft movement of your hips.

“(Y/N), I…” Donna hesitated, silenced again by one of your kisses.

“Come on, darling, look over the cliff. Donna, love me…” you whispered again, biting her earlobe, dragging her to the bed, on top of you, silencing her fears, her protests with hundreds of kisses, with hands that ran over her body.

Donna was unsure, hesitant and trembling, but, somehow, those caresses, those kisses that you never tired of giving her seemed to have their effect. She kissed you back, in a passionate way, following the rhythm marked by your incipient lust, the one that was stirred and altered by that vision in the workshop.

Your fingers took advantage of the distraction your kisses had on her, running down her dress until they found their prey, those buttons that remained her beautiful body hidden, depriving your eyes of a divine vision.

The brunette kissed you passionately, running over your body, fearful but determined to explore it, not to back down.

Her pale skin was exposed to you when you pushed aside that horrible black fabric, when the tips of your fingers felt the exquisiteness of her half-naked torso, forcing your lips to gasp on hers.

“Donna…” you whispered with a mischievous smile, making her look at you, her eye locking with yours as you guided her hand to the ties of your own dress, which, impatient and expectant, gave way to the skill of her slender fingers.

“Così bella…” she murmured, enthralled by your skin now free of clothing, by your bare shoulders serving as a prelude to the discovery of your body.

You laughed provocatively at those sweet words, those that always made you tremble, pulling down her dress, uncovering her shoulders, letting the fabric, also black, of her bra be your next victim.

“Don't stop kissing me, my love…” you murmured, capturing her lips again, sinking your hands into her soft black hair, drawing her body towards yours, your partially uncovered torsos rubbing together, your hips dancing slowly.

She complied with your request, not letting your lips rest, caressing her tongue with yours, wet, warm kisses, completely different from any other display of affection.

Your hands moved down her back, the clasp of her bra yielding to your fingers, eliciting a soft moan from Donna, one that made you writhe in pleasure. She moved to free herself from that annoying garment, letting your hands now travel to her almost perfect breasts, shiny, pale like her skin, beautiful like her.

The lady in black laughed at your curious touch, at some soft pinches on her nipples, daring to do the same, to mercilessly attack your bra and lower her kisses down your neck.

The panting became rhythmic, measured, matching the movements of your hands, your mouth, your fingers running over her skin, lowering the bottom of her dress little by little, and yours next to it.

“You have a beautiful body,” you commented, breathing after another round of tireless, inexhaustible, pleasurable kisses... She looked at you curiously, then looked at herself, shaking her head. “Well, I'm not surprised. You're a beautiful woman, Donna.”

“You're quite a nice talker,” she said, amused, running the palm of her hand over your breasts, studying every inch of your skin, sighing at the sensations her touch caused, how your flesh felt goosebumps with just the touch of her fingers.

“I'm being honest,” you joked, biting your lip, observing her face in love, a face curious about your body.

“Get, get naked, please,” she asked you in a softer, more pleading tone. You frowned but smiled mischievously, slowly pulling down the rest of your dress, playing with your underwear under her watchful gaze.

“What about you? Come on...” you joked, throwing your clothes in the air, running a hand over her hips, down her back, playing with your movements, noticing her arousal, one that you wanted to see free from its prison.

Donna hesitated again, embarrassed, but your soft kisses, your bright gaze seemed to convince her, moving aside those dark clothes to let you see the rest of her body, so you could admire her beauty, the one she tried so hard to hide.

“Not bad, huh?” you said, biting your lip, admiring her already released erection, the physical desire that showed how much Donna wanted to do that, how much not to feel capable of doing it hurt her. She shook her head, looking at herself and blushing.

“Don’t, don't look at it that way,” the brunette told you shyly, kissing you again so you would stop bothering her with your lascivious gaze.

“I like looking at it, it's nice,” you said in a seductive tone, savoring your words, those that you knew made her more nervous.

“No one had ever said something like that to me, it's embarrassing,” Donna said, laughing shyly.

 She positioned herself better, brushing your now discovered wetness, caressing your folds with curiosity, but strangely, skillfully, knowing what to touch, what to massage….

“Donna…” you moaned when her stimulation made you tremble, when the pleasure of her fingers brushed your clit, exploring your wetness, caressing it as if it were something fragile, beautiful. “That, that's… Great.”

She smiled pleased by your approval, but with a sad face. Yes, you should have known, she wasn't always like this, she knew what she had to do to your body to make it tremble with pleasure.

But you weren't the protagonist. You weren't the one who had to lose your fear. No, that was for Donna, only for Donna.

With a playful laugh, you reached between her legs, unexpectedly grabbing her shaft, stimulating it with gentle caresses, holding it with your fingers, gently moving up and down, positioning it at your entrance.

“Come on, baby, love me…” you whispered, moving your hips so her erection brushed against your wetness, so your entrance received those caresses. The brunette moaned at the contact, closing her eye at that newly discovered pleasure.

Donna nodded, moving to make her way into your body, slowly penetrating you, enjoying every moment of that sensation, the wet journey of her penis inside of you, the welcoming embrace of your wet walls, stretching slowly.

You moaned, surprised by the sensation, overwhelmed by that pleasure you desired and now had.

“Si… si sente così… Bene…” the doll maker stammered, moving very slowly, letting your body receive her, embrace her, experience the unparalleled pleasure of that first time. “Does… Does it hurt?”

You opened your eyes, getting used to that sensation, with the pleasure running through your body, sending electric currents through your nervous system.

“No, of course it doesn’t…” you said smiling, caressing her cheek, enjoying her erratic gaze, disoriented by the pleasure. “But it’s… Quite big…”

“Don't say that, per favore,” she said nervously, looking away, stopping moving, unsure of the shame your lascivious words caused her.

“Okay,” you said, calming the ferocity of your desire, moving your hands to her waist, moving her slowly to resume the pleasure of her body inside of yours. “Move, Donna.”

She nodded nervously, dancing slowly with her hips, moaning at each slow thrust, at how your body caressed her, surrounded her and squeezed her tightly, giving her even more pleasure.

“I, I would have liked to hurt you…” she murmured, now with a constant rhythm, making you stop moaning, opening your eyes with a frown. “So… I would know that… You are only mine…”

You knew she was letting herself get carried away by the pleasure, in fact, you found that brief burst of possessiveness quite erotic, forcing your hips to keep pace with hers, to move a bit faster, just a bit, without losing that warm and soft rhythm.

“Donna, keep going, keep going…” you moaned, losing control too, nervously shaking at her moans, at that shy voice that came out of her lips, at those words that you didn’t understand, but you knew that they only were worshiping your body.

“Wait, wait,” she said suddenly, slowly pulling out of you, shaking her head. You looked at her frustrated at the loss of the path to your release, thinking that, surely, hers was also embarrassingly close.

“Hey, baby, if you're going to cum, do it, it's okay. Don't hold back,” you said with a voice filled with lust, but with the softness that the situation required.

“No, it's not that, I... I want, I want you to... Turn around, please,” Donna asked you, embarrassed. You smiled, seeing that she had finally lost her fear. It would be better not to tell her that it always was your favorite position.

“Mm, okay,” you purred, kissing her quickly and turning yourself onto your stomach while she raised your hips, not wanting to waste time, entering you again, moving your body with her hands.

“Oh, yes... Just like that...” she moaned, thrusting into you in that same slow way, but now more intense, letting you feel her completely, letting her slide, stretching your walls from that different angle. “You are, you are mine, tesoro…”

“I’m yours,” you moaned, gripping the sheets, noticing how your body was shaking worse. Donna moaned again when she heard you, moving faster.

“I, I'm sorry…I, I can't hold it any longer… I'm… I'm going to…” she said nervously, unable to let your hips go, digging her nails into your skin.

“Please… Do it…” you moaned, with a sweet voice, broken by a familiar feeling, by those little tremors in your legs and the desire your muscles had to tense. “Donna… I'm going… I'm going to… Ah!”

You couldn't help it. Your back arched, your walls tightened around her as your orgasm ran through your body.

“Oh…” Donna moaned, overcome by that sensation, releasing herself almost at the same time, inside of you, filling you, claiming you, caressing you with a wet touch, with her warmth seed, stimulating your lust even more. “Cazzo…”

Silence reigned in the room only interrupted by a few nervous breaths, some that tried to recover the air that was missing.

“Donna, come,” you said in a whisper, turning around when she left you, pulling her hand to accompany you to the side of the bed, hugging her with your still trembling hands.

“I, I told you I wouldn't last enough…” she said in a sad voice, snuggling into your chest, embarrassed. You couldn't help but laugh. “(Y/N)…” she whispered annoyed.

“Nonsense Donna, it's been wonderful. You are wonderful.”

[spdrvyn]

a Miguel x f!reader "who did this to you?" Angst fic?

bewitched by bandages — MIGUEL O'HARA

SUMMARY: as per usual, you were spending your late-nights fighting crime and trying to protect the city to the best of your ability. as you are in the midst of a strenuous battle, you're sucked into a portal which brings you to what you assume to be another dimension.

THIS FIC CONTAINS: violence. harassment. somewhat detailed descriptions of wounds. angst. hurt/comfort. translated spanish (i didn't use google translate). f!reader

NOTES: GOD I LOVE THIS TROPE SO MUCH HOLY SHIT thank you anon for sending me this ask i was gonna do this kind of thing w miguel eventually but like still mwah, sorry for being ia too btw... i'm trying to avoid getting burnt out n shit so that i keep writing stuff for you guys 🫶 anyway, ENJOOOY

"You will never be apart of this."

Those were the last words uttered to you before proclaimed protector of the multiverse, Miguel O'Hara, disappeared into the portal possibly never to be seen again.

He thought so too. At least, until he came back a week later due to yet another anomaly showing up in your dimension. Then another, then another, then another.

Humiliating was an understatement. What kind of Spider-Woman were you if you couldn't even take down one anomaly? Every time trouble came, Miguel was there to fix it. For once, you wanted to be the one to catch the beast. Hold it's severed head up to him with a big, fat smile on your face.

But that was a distant dream, only to be seen after you collapse onto your bed after an exhausting day.

You felt even more hurt when you found out that he was the leader of some kind of Spider Society. Yet, as he said when he first met you, you just weren't capable enough to join it.

Granted, he explained that it was an elite strike force but still. You were proud of yourself for making it this far into the whole Spider-woman gig, turns out that the bar was higher than you thought it was. It saddened you, deeply.

Though with time comes change. You've honed your skills and now confident enough to laugh in the face of who you were months ago, if an anomaly ever showed up again you'd show Miguel who's boss (not literally) and finally be able to join that god forsaken society.

You were much more confident in battle, actually much more confident in general. It was like you were an entirely different person to the criminals that you cowered before at night and the other more important people in your life at day.

However, there were moments where that confidence faltered.

Moments where you felt like that terrified, shameful, and naive little spider that you were mere months ago. A moment like now as you were being absolutely destroyed by one of your regular enemies.

You didn't know his name, you didn't want to bother trying to know anyway. He was the type of villain to give those excruciatingly long monologues that only dragged more and more time out of your excruciatingly long nights. So you just called him tech guy.

He is exactly what he sounds like. Covered from almost head-to-toe with different kinds of technologically advanced weaponry that made you wonder if he'd work as an appliance in a smart home.

Even when you enjoyed poking fun at the multiple devices stuck to his body, he didn't. Continuing to upgrade himself more and more each time the both of you fought. You had a feeling in your gut that your devilishly charming personality would come back to bite you in the ass someday.

He had you under the heel of his boot, quite literally this time. You bite back a grunt as his shoe continues to press into you, barely being able to look back up, you can see the absolutely smug grin on his face.

"I warned you, Spider-Woman. If only you listened to me, you would've seen this coming from miles away!"

"I'm here to—" You want to bury your face into the pavement as you can feel something sharp pierce the small of your back. "Fight bad guys not listen to lectures!"

"And look at where not listening has gotten you, little spider." Tech guy chuckled, uncomfortably close to your ear. You try to pull away but he has you pinned and he's close, too close. You swore from the corner of your eye that he had his hand raised. About to strike.

This was it, he was going to knock you out. Take you back to who knows where. Or maybe even kill you right here and right now. Leaving your corpse on the street for the citizens of New York, the citizens that you swore you'd protect to be mortified by.

You were finished, your end had come. It terrified you, if people saw your fate, who would do this job? Who would be able to gain the courage to step up? Even after knowing the dangers that lurk and entail it?

Dangers such as a portal opening up on the floor beneath you, it was blinding as you squint and your senses are immediately flooded by what feels like everything.

It's like a strong gust of wind swoops you away, the distant yells of tech guy growing quieter and quieter.

This relieved you but pained you.

As you were being blissfully carried away from whatever force was helping you right now, it put a lot of pressure on the injuries that have sustained from that scuffle.

You tried to scream, yell, shout for anyone in this space but nothing. You curl up into a ball, in attempts for it stop and hope that your next destination is the sensation of nothingness.

It was like you were being torn apart then put back together. Shifting from each form. Solid, liquid, gas, solid, liquid, gas, solid liquid, gas, solid rooftop.

What?

You groaned, looking up at the night sky of whatever hell you just landed in. You tried to sit up and you were able to! But with a now bleeding lip in attempts to muffle the absolutely bloodcurdling scream that you were about to let out.

Wherever you were, it wasn't hell (thankfully) but it definitely wasn't New York. At least not your New York.

Everything was strangely futuristic. Flying cars, sleek architecture, a lot of grass to your surprise, and beautiful lights that finished the beautiful view off.

The rooftop that you had landed on was no different either, whoever owned this place had a spectacular taste in furniture and it showed here. As you looked to your side, it seemed that it also connected to a bedroom. An empty bedroom.

God, you were going to feel so guilty about this later.

Fighting back yet another pained noise from coming out of your mouth, you manage to build the strength to get up on your two feet and stumble towards the entrance.

You take your slow strides and get to observe the room in the process, it was very spacious. A huge monitor hanging on one wall, a huge closet on the other side, not to mention that it has a bathroom attached, what would it be without a huge bed in the middle of it all?

To your dismay, you're only able to make it a few steps in before needing to grip the bedsheets for dear life.

The dear life that you might lose when you hear the muted sounds of someone talking from outside.

You're not really able to make any words out but it sounded like whoever they were, they yelled out to someone. Suddenly, she appeared in front of you.

A lady, dressed in a somewhat lengthy but quite fashionable fur coat, she adorned a pair of heart shaped sunglasses as she looked at the TV in the room with a puzzled look on her face.

It's not long before she catches sight of you, eyes widening and both of you exchange glances. You bring your index finger to your mouth in a placating gesture but it only gets worse as she calls out:

"... Miguuueeeeel!"

Miguel? Miguel?

Frantically, you wave your hands around in an attempts to shush her but your heart rate spikes as her body practically phases through you. Hologram. You were throwing hands with a hologram.

And it's like the whole world stops when the bedroom door slides open, your worst fears had come true.

There he stood. Miguel O'Hara. Although something felt different, and you realized that his mask was off. The first thing that came to mind was the unamused pout that he wore, eyes that stared down at you disappointedly, and a broad frame that took up nearly the entire doorway.

The silence was deafening, you could hear it ringing in your ears. So deafening that you could hear your heart drumming in your chest, your shallow breaths, his footfalls as he walked over to you. Before turning his head to his hologram lady.

"Lyla, scan this." Lyla nodded before looking you up and down, wherever her eyes followed it scanned. She turns back to Miguel with the prognosis on your injuries. "Fifteen scratches, ten bruises, and a slightly fractured rib."

The noise that Miguel let out irked you a little, you could feel how heavy it was as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I have a lot of articles that could help with fixing this mess, big guy."

"No, it's fine. I can deal with this myself,"

"If you say so."

Lyla seemingly poofs into thin air, leaving you alone with him and a whole lot of questions that you have to ask. Even then, even if you were the one technically intruding in his home, you couldn't break the silence. Where to even start?

"Who did this to you?" Well, okay. That was a start. You tried to open your mouth to even get a small explanation out but as you attempted to piece your thoughts together, the more it felt like your brain fogged up.

Miguel had unfortunately noticed this too, what a way to make an impression after weeks of not seeing each other. "Just sit down." You obviously complied, careful not to let any blood drip down onto his sheets, you hoped that you wouldn't embarrass yourself further.

Those months of training, those months of self-improvement, those months of trying to be better all shattered within an instant as you saw Miguel rummage through his closet, cursing under his breath until he emerged with a first aid kit.

It felt so hard to think about anything and everything. Well, not really. There were a million thoughts racing through your head right now, most of them being what exactly was going through Miguel's head.

Was he disappointed? It would be a lot more unlikely if he wasn't if you were completely honest. Was he upset? If you saw someone you didn't hold in a high regard just magically appear on the roof of your home all beat up, you wouldn't be the happiest in the world.

There wasn't even a single peep out of him as he opened the small kit, equipping himself with what looked to be a medical cream and rolls of bandages. You spared him just a small glance, you were expecting him to look you dead in the eye with nothing but pure unbridled rage for ruining his night but instead?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

He was laser focused on treating you right now or what you had thought to be a more plausible situation: he was just too disheartened to even look at you.

And you completely understood why, therefore ripping your gaze away from his eyes and moving down to his hands instead. You watched intently as the part around his hands dissolved into mere pixels before he swiped up a good amount of the cream onto his fingers, then gestured for you to hold your arm out.

Once the medicine came into contact with your wounds, tears dared to prick at your eyes. Fuck, it hurt a lot but you didn't really need to ruin his impression of you any further. You resorted to biting down hard on your lip and turning your head away.

Miguel, being the ever observant one, noticed this as well.

"You owe me an explanation." He was right. You did. You were quite confident that if you stayed radio silent for the rest of the night, you would be sleeping on the cold, cold streets of this world. "I've surmised that you got sucked into a portal then ended up here but most don't end up with injuries this bad."

There goes a good chunk of your explanation, which played well on your end. You didn't even want to begin describing what being transported from dimension to dimension felt like. Still, you wanted to play this cool.

"I was just in a fight, it was nothing serious."

"Nothing serious? Did you hear the results of that scan?"

You can't help how your cheeks flush at his quip, perhaps you were playing it too cool. If you tried too hard, he'd probably be able to see right through you but before you could even attempt defending yourself, he butts in.

"Qué dolor de cabeza." You heard him mutter. "I need more details about this, how many people were in the fight? What were they like? I'm not a mind reader."

His tone was harsh, it felt like he was cutting your scars open rather than healing them. You semi-understood why he was a leader, he had a way of making demands that was for sure.

"It was just one guy, but he had a lot of mechanical attachments. Saws, tentacles, other blades." As you explained, Miguel finished up bandaging your arm and gestured for your other one. You shifted slightly in position and held that up as well, sucking in a sharp breath as he goes through the routine of applying the disinfectant.

He seemed to just hum at your answer like he wasn't relentlessly asking you questions moments ago, you assumed that he wanted to hear more information so you kept talking. Like an idiot.

"I'm not the biggest tech person, you know? I was just swinging through and then he ambushed me, every time I've encountered him, he just continued to get stronger and stronger."

"Every time? How many times exactly?"

He emphasized 'exactly' as if you were actually supposed to count but even if you presented those kinds of details with a whole ass statistic chart, the answer would still disappoint him.

"Probably more than five. Like I said, he upgrades and–"

"Yes, yes. You said that already." He interrupts you again, hurriedly finishing up your arm before he rolls up the bandages; throwing them back into the aid kit with a very audible thud.

If there was another talent of his, it would be how very quickly he's able to shatter your pride.

"What are you trying to do here?" He asks you. You know you shouldn't be asking questions at risk of making yourself look even more stupid but with how vague that was, it felt like you had the right to. "What are you talking about?"

"You're trying to impress me. I'm asking you this stuff to know more about the nature of your injuries and you're trying to goddamn impress me. Why?"

Oh.

Clearly, since it felt like he knew so much more about you, you just looked at him. How could this possibly get any worse after all? No matter what you said, no matter how hard you tried, it would all be for naught in the end.

"If this is about what I said when we first met, these antics of yours seriously aren't helping your case." Your body went numb. "Then, after I clear all the anomalies in your dimension, you come flying back to me. Seriously?"

Your mind went numb.

This felt like more than just a reality check to you, no. Every single criticism that shot back at you continued to break you down into smaller, smaller pieces.

You dreamt about meeting him again someday, and it did not look like this in the slightest. Only now, if you thought about what that scenario would be like, you'd conk yourself in the head for being so fucking delusional.

The distant dream of him entering your dimension, to see an anomaly in your capable hands, to hear that gravelly voice that has only continued to criticize you praise you for your deeds, then you'd get recruited into the Spider Society and save the multiverse to your heart's content.

Oh, how dumb and naïve you were. Clearly, you still are both of those things. His words spoke enough about that. You didn't want to be here as much as he did.

"I didn't want this," You finally said, the most coherent thought throughout this whole mess. "Any of this to happen. I just– I don't get it at all."

"Don't get what?"

"What I'm doing wrong," You sigh, lip quivering as tears dared to fall. This time, it wasn't because of medicine. You hoped it was. "I've trained for so long, I've tried my hardest. You might not think so but I have, I really have. But it seems like I'm making a mess of it all."

With each second that passed, the dam dared to break.

An uncomfortable silence blanketed the room, but this one scared you even more. A while ago, even if he didn't say a word, you knew how he felt about you. About your predicament.

But now? You had no clue. He could embrace you, comfort you, tell you that it's okay and he understood how you felt. You could've pushed his temper to his limits, he would scream, shout, yell, and kick you out of his penthouse.

"This doesn't have anything to do with your training," Like that, Miguel took a sharp pin to the atmosphere and popped it. "It has something to do with your mindset."

Now, you were the one to give him a confused glare. He sighs, eyes scanning over your sorry state once more,

"You did this, all this, to get into my strike force and to woo me whatnot." Before looking back up at you. Don't be mistaken, the harshness in his face is still there but from what he was saying, it didn't seem to be what you had originally thought.

"The reason why you're so stuck is because I shouldn't be the first goal in your mind, you should. Are you following?" You nod.

"Good. You need to understand, this job isn't about trying to meet a standard or getting someone to notice you. Self-improvement. It's all in the title. Self-improvement."

You shiver as his warm hand rests on your shoulder. "If you're already this hung up on trying to win me over, take a step back and think about who's approval matters more. Yours or mine?"

Yours.

It clicked. Everything fit into place and the dam broke, though that should have been more obvious to you when Miguel's face had started to look a little foggier.

At first, you had expected him to hand you a tissue or something but he didn't move from his place. Instead, resorting to rubbing his hand up and down your shoulder in a weird, seemingly unfitting gesture.

You swiftly wiped your tears away with your palm, stifling a sniffle as you ask yet another question.

"So, do you think I'll have a chance of getting in someday?"

A snarkly reply or scoff was what you had anticipated but what he just did was probably the most shocking turn of events looking back at the whole night.

He chuckled.

"I'll keep you in touch."

request rules here, masterlist here