#this list was actually far too easy?!?

[elvenbeard]

spent all morning apartment hunting, writing e-mails, phoning a potential landlady... *melts into a puddle*

send some good vibes my way to find something/ someone willing to rent to me despite me A) not being rich and B) trying to move across the country and not able to show up in person spontaneously and on a whim.

[finitevariety]

yeah, you're right, they should have made him gregnant instead

anon turn on your location I just want to talk.

'as evil as Shiv'. be serious. be serious with what you say. 'He wants to love and be loved'...and Shiv doesn't? Her whole arc is wanting to love and be loved, but being unable to understand and perform love properly due to her whole situation. It doesn't make her good by any stretch, but it doesn't make her evil either. And she still tries! She's honest with Tom on her wedding night even though it brings her no advantage, and she begs Logan to save Tom even though it brings her only disadvantage.

[mxcottonsocks]

[ID: The "was anybody going to tell me" meme, edited to read, "Okay, was anybody going to tell me that Dracula's house was across from Queen Victoria's or was I just supposed to read a map of London myself?"]

So I'm sure this is obvious to anyone who knows London well, but for those of us who don't, it turns out that Piccadilly is not an area of London, but a single long street.

The blue line below shows Piccadilly.

The red line is the part of Piccadilly Dracula's Piccadilly house is on (Jonathan walks westward from Piccadilly Circus, and comes across the house "beyond the Junior Constitutional". The Junior Constitutional club was at 101-104 Piccadilly, so the house must be between that and the West end of the street.)

[ID: An extract of the Ordnance Survey six-inch map 'London Sheet VII.SW' revised 1893 to 1895, published: 1894 to 1896 showing the area of London around "Green Park". Blue, red and purple lines have been edited onto the map. The blue line marks out Piccadilly, a long street stretching from the junction Piccadilly Circus and running roughly South-West. Approximately the west-most half of Piccadilly has a park called 'Green Park' to the south of it. Approximately the last third of Piccadilly on the west end of the street is marked in red. Roughly opposite the red line across the Green Park is an area of land marked "Palace Gardens". Within the gardens, Buckingham Palace is shown, circled in purple.]

[ei-mugi]

my main hurdle with my dcaf fic is my depression but my 2nd task-related hurdle is not knowing what eichi should be doing at my ambiguous and butchered chosen place in time--- nvm see the notes

[soy-sauce-and-mothra]

Hey! Are there blacksmiths in your story? I'm a hobbyist blacksmith and I'm here to help!

Blacksmithing is one of those things that a lot of people get wrong because they don't realize it stuck around past the advent of the assembly line. Here's a list of some common misconceptions I see and what to do instead!

Not all blacksmiths are gigantic terrifying muscly guys with beards and deep voices. I am 5'8, skinny as a twig, have the muscle mass of wet bread, and exist on Tumblr. Anybody who is strong enough to pick up a hammer and understands fire safety can be a blacksmith.

You can make more than just swords with blacksmithing. Though swords are undeniably practical, they're not the only things that can be made. I've made candle holders, wall hooks, kebab skewers, fire pokers, and more. Look up things other people have made, it's really amazing what can be done.

"Red-hot" is actually not that hot by blacksmith terms. when heated up, the metal goes from black, to red, to orange, to yellow, to white. (for temperature reference, I got a second degree burn from picking up a piece of metal on black heat) The ideal color to work with the metal is yellow. White is not ideal at all, because the metal starts sparking and gets all weird and lumpy when it cools. (At no point in this process does the metal get even close to melting. It gets soft enough to work with, but I have never once seen metal become a liquid.)

Blacksmithing takes fucking forever. Not even taking into account starting the forge, selecting and preparing metal, etc. etc. it takes me around an hour to make one (1) fancy skewer. The metals blacksmiths work with heat up and cool down incredibly fast. When the forge is going good, it only takes like 20 seconds to get your metal hot enough to work with, but it takes about the same time for it to cool down, sometimes even less.

As long as you are careful, it is actually stupidly easy to not get hurt while blacksmithing. When I picked up this hobby I was like "okay, cool! I'm gonna make stuff, and I'm gonna end up in the hospital at some point!" Thus far, the latter has yet to occur. I've been doing this for nearly a year. I have earned myself a new scar from the aforementioned second degree burn, and one singe mark on my jeans. I don't even wear gloves half the time. Literally just eye protection, common sense, and fast reflexes and you'll probably be fine. (Accidents still happen of course, but I have found adequate safety weirdly easy to achieve with this hobby)

A forge is not a fire. The forge is the thing blacksmiths put their metal in to heat it up. It starts as a small fire, usually with newspaper or something else that's relatively small and burns easily, which we then put in the forge itself, which is sort of a fireplace-esque thing (there's a lot of different types of forge, look into it and try to figure out what sort of forge would make the most sense for the context you're writing about) and we cover it with coal, which then catches fire and heats up. The forge gets really hot, and sometimes really bright. Sometimes when I stare at the forge for too long it's like staring into the sun. The forge is also not a waterfall of lava, Steven Universe. It doesn't work like that, Steven Universe.

Welding and blacksmithing are not the same thing. They often go hand-in-hand, but you cannot connected two pieces of metal with traditional blacksmithing alone. There is something called forge welding, where you heat your metal, sprinkle borax (or the in-universe equivalent) on it to prevent the metal from oxidizing/being non-weldable, and hammer the pieces together very quickly. Forge welding also sends sparks flying everywhere, and if you're working in a small space with other blacksmiths, you usually want to announce that you're welding before you do, so that everyone in a five-foot radius can get out of that five-foot radius. You also cannot just stuck some random pebbles into the forge and get a decent piece of metal that you can actually make something with, Steven Universe. It doesn't work like that, Steven Universe.

Anvils are really fucking heavy. Nothing else to add here.

Making jewelry is not a blacksmithing thing unless you want jewelry made of steel. And it will be very ugly if you try. Blacksmithing wasn't invented to make small things.

If there's anything here I didn't mention, just ask and I'll do my best to answer.

[therandomartmaker]

Reasons Discord's New Mobile Layout Update is Bad

The reply function is redundant, as most people are used to just holding down and tapping the reply option at the top. If they're going to change it, they shouldn't have gotten rid of the member list for this functionally bad option. It also doesnt line up with any other platform in terms of swipe direction.

The member list is gone from easy viewing

It doesnt auto open your last group chat/DM making multiple simultaneous conversations far more difficult and longer

It's already broken my app once (Locked all channels including other servers' to one channel. I could not access anything except that and my DMs.)

You can not see images that have been pinned in the pins tab.

The search function was fine before. Where did your before, during and after date search go??

All of Discord's individuality is disappearing.

Getting used to a mobile format actually impedes usage of the desktop format and likely discourages people from multiplatforming discord because theyre so used to the "intuitiveness" of the new "tailored for mobile" experience

There is no way to CHANGE IT BACK. This is like Tumblr rolling out Tumblr Live without any Disable button At All.

Why are they marketing midnight mode as Something fucking ENTIRELY new??? It has always been a feature on Android as the AMOLED theme???????

DARK MODE IS NO LONGER LOW CONTRAST AND DISCORD IS DEVOLVING INTO AN ACCESSIBILITY NIGHTMARE

Disable swipe-to-reply by activating full-screen Launchpad in Advanced Settings

Discord’s new layout is apparently permanent. Keep sending feedback and rating it one star on all appstores; if you get redirected to the advice article, double tap gove feedback.

If you, too, dislike the theme, head to settings (you can double tap your account picture) and go to Appearance, scroll to New Layout and Send Feedback.

Overall, what they've done is disorientate every single current user on discord, and you cannot avoid it unless you've not updated to the latest discord because this is not an update. It is a feature that has already been on the latest update and is being slowly rolled out, like Tumblr Polls.

Good Luck, and may we send as much feedback as possible and have them make it optional or at the least, revert it. I've already sent in at least seven complaints to discord, commented on their instagram post about the layout and I'm about one star review it on google play and app store.

This isnt just the appearance and vibes being off like the new (ish) app icon, this is a matter of functionality.

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[nasa]

Astronomers used three of NASA's Great Observatories to capture this multiwavelength image showing galaxy cluster IDCS J1426.5+3508. It includes X-rays recorded by the Chandra X-ray Observatory in blue, visible light observed by the Hubble Space Telescope in green, and infrared light from the Spitzer Space Telescope in red. This rare galaxy cluster has important implications for understanding how these megastructures formed and evolved early in the universe.

How Astronomers Time Travel

Let’s add another item to your travel bucket list: the early universe! You don’t need the type of time machine you see in sci-fi movies, and you don’t have to worry about getting trapped in the past. You don’t even need to leave the comfort of your home! All you need is a powerful space-based telescope.

But let’s start small and work our way up to the farthest reaches of space. We’ll explain how it all works along the way.

This animation illustrates how fast light travels between Earth and the Moon. The farther light has to travel, the more noticeable its speed limit becomes.

The speed of light is superfast, but it isn’t infinite. It travels at about 186,000 miles (300 million meters) per second. That means that it takes time for the light from any object to reach our eyes. The farther it is, the more time it takes.

You can see nearby things basically in real time because the light travel time isn’t long enough to make a difference. Even if an object is 100 miles (161 kilometers) away, it takes just 0.0005 seconds for light to travel that far. But on astronomical scales, the effects become noticeable.

This infographic shows how long it takes light to travel to different planets in our solar system.

Within our solar system, light’s speed limit means it can take a while to communicate back and forth between spacecraft and ground stations on Earth. We see the Moon, Sun, and planets as they were slightly in the past, but it's not usually far enough back to be scientifically interesting.

As we peer farther out into our galaxy, we use light-years to talk about distances. Smaller units like miles or kilometers would be too overwhelming and we’d lose a sense of their meaning. One light-year – the distance light travels in a year – is nearly 6 trillion miles (9.5 trillion kilometers). And that’s just a tiny baby step into the cosmos.

The Sun’s closest neighboring star, Proxima Centauri, is 4.2 light-years away. That means we see it as it was about four years ago. Betelgeuse, a more distant (and more volatile) stellar neighbor, is around 700 light-years away. Because of light’s lag time, astronomers don’t know for sure whether this supergiant star is still there! It may have already blasted itself apart in a supernova explosion – but it probably has another 10,000 years or more to go.

What looks much like craggy mountains on a moonlit evening is actually the edge of a nearby, young, star-forming region NGC 3324 in the Carina Nebula. Captured in infrared light by the Near-Infrared Camera (NIRCam) on NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope, this image reveals previously obscured areas of star birth.

The Carina Nebula clocks in at 7,500 light-years away, which means the light we receive from it today began its journey about 3,000 years before the pyramids of Giza in Egypt were built! Many new stars there have undoubtedly been born by now, but their light may not reach Earth for thousands of years.

An artist’s concept of our Milky Way galaxy, with rough locations for the Sun and Carina nebula marked.

If we zoom way out, you can see that 7,500 light-years away is still pretty much within our neighborhood. Let’s look further back in time…

This stunning image by the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope features the spiral galaxy NGC 5643. Looking this good isn’t easy; 30 different exposures, for a total of nine hours of observation time, together with Hubble’s high resolution and clarity, were needed to produce an image of such exquisite detail and beauty.

Peering outside our Milky Way galaxy transports us much further into the past. The Andromeda galaxy, our nearest large galactic neighbor, is about 2.5 million light-years away. And that’s still pretty close, as far as the universe goes. The image above shows the spiral galaxy NGC 5643, which is about 60 million light-years away! That means we see it as it was about 60 million years ago.

As telescopes look deeper into the universe, they capture snapshots in time from different cosmic eras. Astronomers can stitch those snapshots together to unravel things like galaxy evolution. The closest ones are more mature; we see them nearly as they truly are in the present day because their light doesn’t have to travel as far to reach us. We can’t rewind those galaxies (or our own), but we can get clues about how they likely developed. Looking at galaxies that are farther and farther away means seeing these star cities in ever earlier stages of development.

The farthest galaxies we can see are both old and young. They’re billions of years old now, and the light we receive from them is ancient since it took so long to traverse the cosmos. But since their light was emitted when the galaxies were young, it gives us a view of their infancy.

This animation is an artist’s concept of the big bang, with representations of the early universe and its expansion.

Comparing how fast objects at different distances are moving away opened up the biggest mystery in modern astronomy: cosmic acceleration. The universe was already expanding as a result of the big bang, but astronomers expected it to slow down over time. Instead, it’s speeding up!

The universe’s expansion makes it tricky to talk about the distances of the farthest objects. We often use lookback time, which is the amount of time it took for an object’s light to reach us. That’s simpler than using a literal distance, because an object that was 10 billion light-years away when it emitted the light we received from it would actually be more than 16 billion light-years away right now, due to the expansion of space. We can even see objects that are presently over 30 billion light-years from Earth, even though the universe is only about 14 billion years old.

This James Webb Space Telescope image shines with the light from galaxies that are more than 13.4 billion years old, dating back to less than 400 million years after the big bang.

Our James Webb Space Telescope has helped us time travel back more than 13.4 billion years, to when the universe was less than 400 million years old. When our Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope launches in a few years, astronomers will pair its vast view of space with Webb’s zooming capabilities to study the early universe in better ways than ever before. And don’t worry – these telescopes will make plenty of pit stops along the way at other exciting cosmic destinations across space and time.

Learn more about the exciting science Roman will investigate on X and Facebook.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[kamiversee]

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 6 || The More The Merrier

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language,  smut, & fluff.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 5.3k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——"SUCH A GOOD FUCKIN' SLUT," Geto groaned out to you, voice slightly strained and laced with raspiness.

The man is just perfect right now. You're in his apartment now, sitting prettily right in between Geto's muscular thighs. He couldn't even make it to his damn bedroom, he dragged you into the living room and started undoing his belt before you could even process anything.

He didn't care that Gojo was probably trying to sleep in his room, didn't care that he'd be able to hear what was happening, and actually told you he'd like it if his friend heard. You weren't trying to be quiet either.

You managed to reduce Geto to this state after all. His head is tossed back, his shirt long gone, his hair a complete mess, and Adam's apple bobbing with each deep swallow he takes as you suck him off. Geto's not concealing his groans in the slightest.

"Aagh... Shit-," He breathes, shifting his head so he can look down at the sight in front of him. "Juust like that. All the way down your fuckin' throat." Geto encourages.

For starters, his cock is huge. Taking him down your throat was not easy and you definitely choked a few times but, he seemed to enjoy that feeling-- the clamping of your throat closing around his shaft, the wetness of your tongue still trying to lick at him, and even the gaging noise that emits from you.

A hand is carefully placed atop your head, urging you to go all the way down. Your eyes are struggling to stay both open and up on the man in front of you, water building up in the corners due to your actions.

"C'mon, that's it." Geto purrs with a lustful grin on his face.

He's not far from blowing a load into your throat. You've been giving him head for a few minutes and he's not sure he was mentally prepared for you to be this damn good. The fact that you keep looking him in the eyes as you throat his cock only makes it worse. Geto wonders if you're aware of the way you look right now.

"F-Fuck," He curses, taking a handful of your hair into his grip and pulling you off him.

Your tongue hangs out your mouth as you pant in an attempt to catch your breath. Your eyes remain up on Geto's, noticing that he's got one arm held over his mouth. You had him seconds away from letting out sounds he'd be embarrassed by-- only he knows that he was nearly on the verge of whimpering because of that damn mouth of yours.

Slowly, you look down at his member in front of you. Your eyes go wider than they had been-- his dick is... pretty? You're not sure if that's the right word to use for it but you do know that you won't stop staring at it. Aside from the fact that it was just in your mouth, you notice it has a curve to it, something that makes your thighs squeeze together.

With the grip Geto has on your hair, you struggle a little while pushing your face forward. Your tongue presses into his shaft and you watch his body shudder.

"S-Shit, stop." He groans, tugging your head back again.

You chuckle a little and meet his eyes again, "Why?" You ask innocently, "Is it too much for you already?"

Danm you, Geto says mentally. He scoffs, "No, I just don't wanna cum yet."

"So... it's too much?" You tease, smiling up at him.

He releases your hair and sighs, "No." He repeats, sounding a little aggravated now.

Released from his hold, you push up on your knees a bit more and you're quick to plant a little kiss on the tip of his cock. "Then stop pulling me away," You whisper before swirling your tongue over him.

He grits his teeth to suppress all sounds from leaving him, looking off to the side to avoid the sight of you. He had it all under control just moments ago so, how the hell did he let you take over like this?

"Told you I didn't wanna-," His words are lost as you take him into your mouth again, "Shit, ha-ah..." He moans, head tipping back to rest on the couch again. Your hands go to his thighs to brace yourself as you suddenly deepthroat his cock. Geto simply chokes, "G-God... Fucking h-hell..." He stammers.

The sound of him struggling has liquids of your arousal sliding down your leg. The feeling is embarrassing but he still has your underwear so, there isn't much you can do about that.

You pull your mouth off him and tilt to the side, kissing along his shaft gently as you look up at him again. He looks completely out of it. "Thought you could handle this kinda thing, Sugu... What happened?" You whisper against him in between pecks.

His eyes are on the ceiling. "Don't call me that..." He whispers in response.

You giggle before sliding down to lick the base of his dick. "Would you rather me keep calling you a pervert?" You ask gently.

His cock twitches and you think you see him cum a little as your words grace his ears. Geto doesn't respond to you though, he just groans-- the sound being the most he can manage by this point.

"Oh, so you weren't lying," You say before dragging your tongue up against him and pulling away once you reach his tip. "You really do like being degraded..." You murmur.

"S-Shut up," Geto demands.

You smirk, "Make me."

He doesn't even move. You've got his brain stuttering by this point. He wanted to move to do something, y'know, fuck you til' you're the one stuttering. And he will... eventually. But as of right now, followed by your words are you moving to suck him off again.

The moment your mouth closes around him again he can't help but grunt. This time around, you're purposefully loud as you bob your head up and down. Slurping and sucking fills the room, accompanied by the deep guttural groans and moans of Geto Suguru.

You lift your mouth to focus on his tip, your hand moving to make up for the rest of his length in quick strokes. You rotate your tongue and hand in sync, doing what you hope is best to please the man.

And boy does that do it for him.

Geto lets it out-- he whines.

You think you feel something slip out of your sex in reaction and you pray that you didn't just cum from the sound of him whining alone. However, that's exactly what it felt like because a moan leaves you and sends vibrations against his member.

"A-Angh... F-Fuck, okay, okay..." Geto begs, wanting you to stop and continue at the same time. "'M gonna cum if you keep-," His jaw drops and another whine leaves him.

You take your mouth away, "Look at me." He does, his eyes noticeably glossy. Your hand continues its menstruation while you speak in a low tone, "That's it," You utter, mocking his earlier words to you. "Now cum for me, Sugu... Please?" You ask.

Geto isn't sure if it was your words, the please you uttered, the way your hand felt, the facial expression you had, or even the way you took him back into your mouth after asking him to cum but... he does. His mouth is open as he experiences an orgasm, seed spilling into your mouth and sliding down your throat while you stroke him through it.

Between his moans, you can hear him whining continuously. Each one upsets him-- you shouldn't have this effect on him but, you do.

By the time he's done and you pull off him, the sound of his phone buzzing beside him is heard. You'd reflexively swallowed down what he gave to you and both of you are panting as you try to collect yourselves.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Once Geto gets himself in order, he grabs his phone with a slightly shaky hand he hopes you don't notice (you definitely did).

He sighs at first, then you see him smile almost wickedly. "Well, shit. Someone's pissed." Geto says with a laugh.

You wipe your mouth off with the back of your hand and give the man curious eyes. Geto glances down at you and then turns his phone so that you can see what he's referring to.

Shown to you are Gojo and Geto's text messages, the newest one from Gojo reading; 'In the living room, srsly? Fuck you man.'. You blink in disbelief, not knowing exactly what to say. Then, above those texts are messages from a few days ago and you spot your name being said by Gojo.

You try to read what the message said but Geto pulls his phone away before you can. "Guess he heard us," He says with another chuckle, finding his roommate's anger humorous.

"I told you we should've gone to your room..." You hum.

Geto types out something in response to Gojo and then clicks his phone off, tossing it aside and looking down at you. "And I told you I wanted him to hear." He says with a grin on his face.

You shake your head in disapproval, "Freak."

"You wanna get me hard again?" He asks with a scoff.

"Yes, actually." You say honestly, "You're the only one who got something out of this so far..."

Geto stares blankly for a second before nodding in understanding. "Y'know what, you're right, gorgeous. C'mon, get up here." He instructs.

Your lashes bat in disbelief. "Shouldn't we go to your room now....?"

"Nope, Satoru's gotta hear me fuck you too," Geto says cheekily.

You scowl slightly, "But-"

"But nothing. He was probably in there jerking off to the sounds anyway." He says with a laugh.

You wouldn't be surprised if that was true but you still didn't really want to continue knowing that Gojo could hear everything.

"Plus," Geto continues, his thighs spreading even further, "He's gonna hear you either way." He informs you.

Well, if changing locations won't stop Gojo from hearing you then, you guess you'll just continue where you are. And, you can consider this payback to the man for making you do all of this anyway.

Your eyes drop down and you notice that Geto's sprung up again, his hard cock resting against his abdomen. A throb is felt from somewhere below you as you finally move to stand up.

When you do, Geto's eyes widen. "Told you," He says suddenly.

You raise a brow at him.

He nods his chin toward you, "I made you cum without even touching you."

Your eyes sink down to yourself and embarrassment floods through you. "T-That wasn't because of you..." You lie.

Geto tilts his head, "Yeah? So who caused that, hm?"

"Doesn't matter." You sigh, brushing the topic off entirely.

The man chuckles at you and you move your hands to the bottom of your dress, slowly raising the item up and soon over your head. Geto's eyes are all over you as you drop the dress on the floor to the side and move to take off your bra along with it.

He swallows hard while you move slowly to take everything off. Precum seeps out the tip of his dick when you finally slide your bra off and meet his eyes.

"Fuck, he was right." Geto sighs, causing you to raise a brow, "You are sexy." He compliments.

With a roll of your eyes, you move to straddle the man. "You're just now noticing?" You ask him with a scoff.

He smiles up at you, his large hands finding themselves on your waist. "No, I'm just now saying it aloud." He corrects.

You place one hand on his shoulder and the other moves down to align his cock with your entrance. You give him a breathy laugh in response and ease yourself down until you're pressed against his tip.

Geto's staring into your eyes as you do so, watching the way you start blinking as if to prepare yourself. "Don't get all scared on me now," He coos.

Your gaze flicks to his. His face is much closer to you now and as you peer into those eyes of his, you notice how pretty his irises are. They aren't just brown, there's a hint of purple in them. Good god, where did Gojo even find this man?

You swallow hard and remain unresponsive to Geto as you admire his eye color. He simply stares back for a minute before his grip on your waist grows surprisingly tight and he starts pulling your body down on him.

The intense eye contact remains as his cock begins to enter you and your lips part to release a shaky breath. About halfway in, you moan and both your arms move to wrap around the man's neck.

Geto smirks at you, still refusing to move his gaze from yours, "You better fuckin' take it," He whispers to you.

"Mm-mmhm," You hum in response, too engrossed in trying to get yourself all the way down to speak.

Your faces draw closer together and he presses his lips to yours as you finally sink all the way down on him. Your lips are quick to part in a moan against him. The kiss you two share is slow at first, matching the steady pace of your hips moving up and down his length.

The sound of your tongues slotting against one another accompanied by the slickness of your cunt swallowing Geto's cock fills the air. Occasionally, Geto would groan into your mouth as you both get used to one another.

It takes you longer than him to get used to the feeling and position.

His length is much too big. Of course, he's sexy and has a big dick-- you're not sure what you were expecting anyways. And even though you just had him in your mouth, when he's stuffed inside you to the point that his tip perfectly kisses your cervix without much movement, you can't help but take a minute to adjust.

Geto on the other hand simply needed a minute or two to get used to the tight clamp of your soaked cunt around him. Hell, with all the teasing and taunting he did with you all night, he didn't even have to prep you. You were so wet that he slipped right in with almost no issue.

You feel his hands abruptly tighten on your waist again and he doesn't even bother to warn you before lifting you and allowing gravity to push you back down aggressively. You're little make-out session with him is broken with a loud moan from you.

Meanwhile, in the nearby bedroom is Gojo Satoru-- forced to listen to every sound that slips through the thin ass walls of the apartment.

Unlike Geto's prediction, he was not, in fact, jerking off to the sounds of you (for once). Instead, he is actually pissed about the whole thing. He doesn't know why either; he told you to do this, he agreed to everything, and most importantly, he needs you to complete this list.

You're unaware of it but, you're Gojo's only option right now. He wasn't lying when he said he was in debt to the people on the list and it's only you that's able to get him out of it.

"F-Fuck... hah, S-Sugu..." Your sweet voice hits Gojo's ears and he grits his teeth.

He wasn't jerking off and he didn't want to but... Fuck, your voice alone will get him every single time. It's intoxicating the way your moaning makes Gojo's cock spring up instantly.

Gojo looks down at the bulge in his sweatpants. It's the third time today. First was in the shower as he thought of you, then after he made out with you in the hallway, and now at the sound of you moaning his best friend's name.

The man has half a mind to leave his room and see if he could join. Geto would agree in a heartbeat and probably say something like the more the merrier. You, on the other hand, well... Gojo doesn't know how you'd react.

He can only imagine the lustful yet fearful look in your eyes, the shakiness of your voice as you ask both of them if they're serious, and the way you'd probably end up agreeing to it because you're just that much of a slut.

Gojo's cock throbs and he groans in frustration, flopping back in his bed and letting his head hit the pillows behind him.

The sound of a hand smacking against your ass can be heard and Gojo only wishes he was out there instead of his friend. "Take it-, fuck... j-just like that, good girl..." Geto is heard praising you, the sound of his stuttering making his friend smile to himself.

Gojo has never heard a woman reduce his best friend to such a state. Stutter? Gojo's pretty sure he's never heard Geto stutter a day in his life. So of course, the sound makes him smile-- it's funny to him how you just have the effect on everyone.

But, the constant clapping sound and lewd, yet vivid, noise of your ridiculously wet cunt sucking in Geto's length over and over and over again is both frustrating Gojo and making his cock start to hurt.

The man flips over onto his stomach and lets out an annoyed groan into his pillow, bringing another one over his head and closing his ears with it to try and drown out the sounds.

That doesn't work at all. He can still hear and even imagine everything going on in the living room. The worst part of it is the fact that it's you he hears the most-- your moaning, your whining, your slickness, and even your heavy breathing.

Gojo wonders if something is wrong with him. Maybe he's imagining the vividness of your sounds because there's no way he only hears you so clearly.

And that turns out to be one hundred percent true because Gojo didn't realize it but his ears had tuned his friend out and focused only on you. He swears he can picture the way your pussy looks sucking his friend in, how moist it is inside, how warm, and how fucking tight.

"Fuck." Gojo curses, his voice muffled by the pillows he's hidden himself under.

Then it only gets worse.

He hears you cum. How the hell does he do that? He's not quite sure himself but maybe it was the way you moaned or the way the constant plopping sound got louder and you're voice was all broken up...

Gojo could tell what position you guys were in and he just knew you had an orgasm as soon as Geto started thrusting up into you. You could be heard asking the man to slow down but, obviously, he didn't.

And Gojo's assumption was right.

You were currently making a mess of Geto's cock, moaning while the man uttered filthy words to you coaxing you through the whole thing.

"You're makin' such a fuckin' mess." Geto groaned, his hips busy thrusting up into you.

Drool was leaving the corner of your lips and you could barely keep your eyes open. "H-Hnngh... hah, a-aagh..." You moaned weakly, your body seconds away from going limp over the man.

Geto chuckles at the fucked out expression you wore, "C'mon...fuck, don't tap out on me yet." He hummed, his low voice not helping in the slightest.

Your hands shift a little and you claw at his shoulder before choking out nothing but a moan in response to him. Geto hisses at the sudden pain but he doesn't slow down.

"Hah... f-fuck." He breathes before his thrusts grow sloppy and eventually slows down.

Your body does go limp and you end up resting your head on his shoulder until he finishes, feeling him pull out at the last second and cum with a loud groan.

The air goes quiet, only the sound of you two panting heavily heard for a while. Your body shudders a little in Geto's hold and he notices your thighs are trembling ever so slightly, the sight making him grin.

"You alright?" He asks.

You nod slowly, "Mhm..."

"Sure?"

"I have to pee." You whisper.

He chuckles at how soft your voice is. "Go pee then, the bathroom's down the hall." He tells you.

You sigh, "Don't think I can walk yet."

Geto knew that but, he wanted to tease you anyway. The grin on his face turns into a smile before he fully wraps his arms around your waist and stands up with you, "This princess treatment is only a one-time thing, alright?" He teases as he carries you off.

You nod your head but you know he's still just messing with you.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Once you're carried to the bathroom, you tell Geto that you can handle yourself. The man says you can shower in that same bathroom and you're surprised that the guest bathroom even has a shower. Before he leaves you, he informs you that he'll grab you a towel and asks you to call him if you need him.

As soon as Geto shut the bathroom door and looked down the hall to his left, looking to see if his friend was going to come out and say anything yet. He doesn't and Geto heads to his room to clean himself off and put something on.

After a few minutes, the man finds himself back in the living room, cleaning all evidence of you and him up off the area you'd been in.

The second he's done and walks back into the hallway, Geto runs into Gojo.

The two make eye contact and Gojo appears to be annoyed while Geto seems pleased.

"You're an asshole, y'know that?" Gojo says to his friend.

Geto laughs at him, "Hey, no one told you to fuck my ex all those years ago."

"I didn't know." Gojo sighs in response.

A hand is placed on Gojo's shoulder and Geto shrugs, "You're all good now though, thanks to her."

Gojo scowls. "That was torture."

"Was it?" Geto says with a smile on his face.

"Yes, asshole. You guys could've gone to her place..." Gojo says, having assumed that's what was going to happen anyway.

Geto raises a brow, "And what about Shoko?"

"A hotel then." Gojo corrects himself.

"Mmmh, true." His best friend replies, shrugging afterward. "But this was more fun and I expected you to come try and join us at some point."

"Thought about it."

Geto blinks, "What made you change your mind?"

Gojo looks over to the nearby closed bathroom door. He hesitates for an unknown reason before saying, "I dunno."

His friend simply scoffs and shakes his head. "Well anyways, she's all yours now. Don't try killing me in my sleep."

"What?" Gojo asks, confused by his friend's words.

Geto gives his roommate a serious look. "I'm saying that I don't have any feelings for her so, you don't have to worry about me trying to get with her."

"Isn't that kinda fucked up?" Gojo asks.

The man beside him scoffs, taken back by Gojo's question. "How?"

"You made her take you on a date." He points out.

"And you set her up to have sex with your best friend...? Who's really the fucked up one here?" Geto says with a laugh.

"I-"

"I'm pretty sure she knows this was a one-and-done kinda' thing." He cuts off, removing his hand from Gojo's shoulder and turning away. "You're the one that has to try to earn her forgiveness."

Gojo's brows furrow, "Why do I need to..."

"Satoru..." Geto pauses and turns his head back, dropping his voice so low that only Gojo can hear him speak, "You can't have a crush on someone you're using to clear your debt."

"I-I don't have a crush on her." Gojo whispers back, "What the hell are you talking about?!"

Geto blinks. "Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yeah, you do."

"Nuh-uh." Gojo argues back playfully.

His friend laughs and shakes his head while turning away again, "Yuh-huh."

Gojo opens his mouth to say something else but Geto dips into his bedroom before he gets the chance. Then, the man comes back out after a few seconds with a towel in his hands.

Gojo's not sure why but, he moves and takes the item from his roommate, telling him he'll take care of you for the rest of the night.

Geto shakes his head, "She's gonna think I'm a shitty guy if you go in there."

"What, no she won't," Gojo argues.

"Uh, yes she will. No aftercare? How much of an asshole would that make me??"

"I'll tell her you went in your room, laid down for a second, and passed out."

Geto gives the man a dumbfounded look, "You're not serious."

"Good pussy puts people to sleep," He shrugs, "She'll take it as a compliment," Gojo says with a cheeky grin on his face.

"You're an idiot. But fine," Geto sighs, handing Gojo the towel and turning away. "And if she doesn't take it as a compliment, tell her the truth."

"The truth being....?"

"You wanted to see her, Satoru." Geto sighs.

"Oi, that's not-"

"Quit' being delusional." Geto cuts off as he enters his room again and closes the door behind him.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Meanwhile, you sat in the bathroom in a complete daze. You made your way to the tub and got yourself into a nice bath, patiently waiting for Geto to return. You heard him and Gojo talking but you were too out of it to make out their words.

Eventually, you hear a knock on the door and grant permission for whoever it is to enter.

To your surprise, a white head of hair pops into the bathroom and you make out Gojo's stupidly pleased blue eyes gazing at you. Your mouth opens to ask why he's coming in to bother you but, you're too tired to argue so you simply hum and lay your head back on the tub.

Gojo makes his way inside, closing the door behind him and walking over to you. He places a towel down on the edge and crouches down to you. Your eyes meet his and you wonder why he's so close to you.

"Hi Toru," You greet lazily.

Gojo's heart throbs in his chest and the nickname alone makes him smile way too fucking hard. "Hi sweetheart." He replies in a gentle tone, tilting his head as he studies your face, "Have fun?"

You shrug, "Yeah."

"Yeah? You sound sleepy." Gojo coos, moving a hand to caress the side of your face.

You unconsciously lean into his touch and shut your eyes, "I am..." You sigh.

For a minute, Gojo just keeps caressing the side of your face and you let him without saying a word. He admires your face, adoring the gentle fucked out expression you still have.

Slowly, you open your eyes when you don't hear him say anything. Kind blue eyes peer into your own, his look holding a surprising amount of affection you weren't expecting. You lean up a little, away from his hand, and then turn so that your upper half is facing him.

Most of your body is out of his line of sight, covered by the soapy water you made for yourself. "Toru?" You hum.

Gojo blinks, "Hm?"

"You okay?" You ask.

He smiles at the fact that you even asked such a thing, as if you don't appear to be two seconds away from passing out. "I'm fine, sweetheart. Why?" He questions.

"You keep starin' at me..." You murmur.

Gojo chuckles, the sound oddly attractive to you. He has a nice laugh. "I can't help it," Gojo sighs, "You're so cute."

You pout, "How...?"

He leans close to you, eyes dropping down to your lips. "You look like you got dicked down pretty good and I think that look is cute. 'S that okay?" He murmurs.

Your head nods in response and Gojo grins. He then inhales deeply and you watch his eyes widen. "What?" You ask, referring to his reaction to the smell.

Gojo starts laughing, again making your heart feel all weird because of how it sounds. "You smell like me." He tells you.

Your eyes mimic his own as they widen in surprise. You look down at yourself, as if that'll change the soap you've used.

"Out of the four soaps in this bathroom, how is it that you managed to use mine?" Gojo asks teasingly.

You frown and look back up at him, feeling embarrassed. "I dunno, I just picked the one that looked nice..."

"Don't they all look nice?"

"I mean, yeah but-,'" You sigh, "Stop teasing me Satoru."

"Aw, don't do thaat. Go back to callin' me Toru." He pleads.

You give him a glare, "I was half-sleep when I called you that."

"You said it twice though..." Gojo says with a pout.

You stare at the cute expression he holds.

Gojo slowly starts to smile the more you stare at him. Then, he tips his head to the side and moves his hands onto the edge of the tub. The man pushes to stand on his knees and then leans toward you. You lean back, soapy bubbles keeping your chest covered from his gaze.

Your lashes bat at him in confusion until your head meets the wall and you can't back away from him anymore. Gojo has an almost solemn look on his face all of a sudden.

The words are slow to leave your mouth but you manage to say something. "Lemme guess... You wanna kiss me now?" You whisper.

Gojo nods, the motion nearly desperate. "How'd you know?"

You sigh and shake your head at him, now moving to get closer to him, "You get this little look in your eyes when you want one."

His brows furrow, "You pay attention to me that much?"

You get suddenly flustered. "N-No..."

His heart flutters and he can't help but smile at you. "Fuck, you're adorable."

You move a hand to the back of his neck to pull him close and yourself up at the same time, "Shut up." You whisper.

Gojo's smile remains as your lips press to his and both of you share a surprisingly loving kiss? The gentleness of it makes both of your heartbeats increase. His lips are to tender over yours and he even moves to hold your face in his hands, your cheeks covered by his cold palms in a matter of minutes.

You don't know why the two of you are kissing like this but, it feels good.

When you pull away, your eyes are slow to open. "Toru," You whisper.

He smiles from ear to ear, his face suddenly reddened. "Yes, love?"

Love? Oh hell, that's a new nickname. It makes your heart... swell? Throb? Pound? You don't even know. Your heart just feels all funny in your chest. This is one of those moments where you forget the man is blackmailing you to do things...

You giggle tiredly, "I think 'm sleepy now." You mumble to him.

Gojo sighs, taking in all of your presence for a long moment before replying to that. "That's alright, you can sleep in my room." He hums to you eventually.

"M'kay." You respond softly.

And with that, the two of you are left in the presence of one another for the rest of the night, both having no clue what feelings are building up inside...

GOJO SATORU ✔︎

GETO SUGURU ✔︎

??? ☐

mlist || previous chapt || next chpt

[locusfandomtime]

Doing the maths: Grian's failure at getting a mending book

lots of talk about maths and probabilities below the cut! but there's a graph and simple explanation at the end if you want to get the gist of it and are bad at maths.

(I am still young and learning maths, critique/advice always welcomed)

What are the odds of getting a mending book in Minecraft?

(I am assuming Grian has been doing all his fishing with Luck of the Sea 3)

The probability of a mending book is actually a bit annoying to estimate. The Minecraft Wiki lists fishing up an enchanted book as 1.9% chance. This is for ANY enchanted book. The Minecraft wiki talks about how the chance of an enchantment being selected is calculated. Mending has a weight of 2. Using the table, mending has a probability of 2/135.

However, Grian is looking for any book with mending, not just a pure mending book. Additional enchantments are calculated in a different way, involving RNG, which means it won't be as easy to model. Due to this reason, I'll just be using the odds for a pure mending book throughout.

TLDR: a mending book has a 0.028..% chance (2/135*0.019*100)

Grian's Data

According to this screenshot, Grian has used a fishing rod 5679 times. This number may not be fully accurate, as it includes the times he's fished other players, rather than just fished for items, but it is a good estimate.

To help visualise this data, with a median waiting time between catches of 17.5 seconds, Grian has spent over 20 hours fishing so far! He may have a problem.

Is this statistically significant?

Hypothesis testing (p-value approach):

H0: p = 19/67500 (the null hypothesis - he has no mending books because of chance)

H1: p < 19/67500 (the alternate hypothesis - he has no mending books due to different odds)

5679 trials, 0 mending books

X ~ B(5679, 19/67500) (binomial distribution, 5679 tries with a probability of a mending book being 19/67500, where X is the number of mending books)

p(X=0) (what is the probability the number of mending books being 0)

p = 0.2021473392

Now, the point at which data becomes significant is subjective. For instance, you *could* get a million heads in a row flipping a coin, it's not impossible, but at a certain point, you can begin to say "okay there's something not normal about this". For this approach, the closer the p-value is to 0, the more evidence there is against the null hypothesis . The p-value here is far above a significance level of 0.01, or 0.05, or 0.1. There isn't a clear line between significant/non-significant, but this is answer is quite a bit far from 0

With this, I cannot reject the null hypothesis.

Personal conclusion: this is not statistically significant, Grian is just unlucky.

Are other values statistically significant?

Gem's proposed 9000: results in a p-value of 0.079... more significant than Grian's number but I don't imagine Mojang would be too concerned. As said though, it's all subjective.

I am bad at maths, what does all this mean?

Here is a graph, showing what number of mending books you might have after 5679 tries. The height of the bar represents the probability of getting that amount. The numbers at the top are the (rounded) numbers I used in my calculation

The pink column is 0 mending books - like what Grian has! As you can see, it is less likely than getting 1 or 2 books, but not too uncommon to happen.

End conclusion: Grian has bad luck. Like, not as hilariously bad as he thinks, but still bad. If he keeps going, chances are he will get a mending book, but I think he should probably stop fishing because at this point he has a problem.

[benkeibear]

⋆꙳✧༄ His favorite pet

❖ Character: Mahito

❖ Reader: female | AFAB

❖ Wordcount: 2.6k

❖ Summary: Mahito loves to experiment on you simply because you let him - loving how he pushes past your limits and pleasures you beyond belief.

❖ WARNINGS: DARK CONTENT! sub!reader, slapping, dacryphilia, clit slapping, bondage, tentacles, choking, throat fucking, spitting, humiliation, degradation, penetration with tentacles, anal, overstimulation, womb fucking, squirting

❖ A/n: the list of warnings is so long oh my. I'm not even sorry

꒰ ͜͡➸ Back to Kinktober Masterlist

Mahitos eyes went wide when he saw the way you were looking right at him instead of through him like everyone else. He knew right that moment that you will be his, if you want to or not so he gave you a silly grin while waving at you. Talking to him was so easy, he would always have interesting topics to discuss for hours as time flew by whenever you two hung out, always listening to you, always agreeing with you without making it too obvious but before you knew it you were craving his company. You fell so hopelessly in love with the man who did nothing but sweet talk you, luring you in and giving you a sense of being heard and seen along with this false sense of security - his plan worked. He's not a master of manipulation for nothing, not even surprised that you were seeking out his attention all the time, almost addicted to it like a lost puppy.

The fact that he wasn't human didn't even surprise you when he broke the news to you, already aware that he was a little different from your average man but you never once minded, finding it quite appealing actually. Mahito’s lighthearted attitude along with his dumb jokes never failed to make you smile, always pushing you to your limits or having you be the butt of the jokes. It was playful banter to you, an experiment of how far he can take it for him. Testing you… you were never more than just an experiment to him, while you called him your boyfriend in such a loving way it always amused him. Your giggles lit up his heart but he wouldn't admit it, blaming it on everything but you. He's a curse after all, made out of hatred… he can't love.

It was just a question of time until he took these little experiments into the bedroom though and before you knew it, you found yourself pushed far past your limits but his sweet encouragement in your ears made it bearable. “You're taking me so well. Just a little bit more, cupcake” he chuckled and rubbed little circles on your clit to distract you from the almost unbearable pain he caused with his slaps to your thighs and ass - skin painfully sore to the point where it's bleeding. But you were his good girl, his perfect little human, you didn't want to disappoint him so you took everything he had to give despite your cheeks being stained with tears. Seeing you this broken, eyes all red and puffy from crying and far out of your comfort zone got him hard like nothing else, knowing he had you in the palm of his hand like a little puppet he can control made him feel invincible. The orgasm that followed was earth shattering, little slaps to your over sensitive clit gave you a high like never before after getting edged for hours on end, drooling on yourself and the bed beneath from the exhaustion and barely noticing how Mahito cleaned you up with utmost care, bandaging the wounds he caused before kissing each of them. “Can't have you breaking from this… you did so well for me” he praised while wrapping you in a fuzzy blanket and cupping your cheek to prevent you from moving while he kissed your forehead with a tender kiss. The collar around your neck jingled when you moved to cuddle up to the curse, a tired smile spreading over your lips at the reminder that you're his and he is yours - your name carved into his soul and there to remain.

You didn't need to know that even if you ever used the safeword, he wouldn't stop. It just existed to give you this false sense of security but worry not, he would never quite literally split you in half. Mahito was so much sweeter with you than with any of his experiments before, adoring you for the way you wanted his love so badly, how you humiliated yourself just to get some words of praise from him. All you were to him was a little project to study humans on, liking to see your reactions to various things and how you seemed to mind it less whenever he encourages you, how the unbearable pain suddenly became bearable with simple praise never failed to make him laugh, how desperate you cling onto his words to guide you out of it and towards your sweet reward for being such a good little human to him. He could own you and you would thank him for it, making him feel like a god.

This was your mistake - trusting him to never take it too far, that he's doing this for your pleasure rather for his curiosity but this mistake is what made you end up in this delicate situation. Your hands were tied behind your back, a spreader bar preventing your legs from closing as Mahito manhandled you onto all fours, a sickenly sweet smile on his face when you just let him move you the way he desired, not thinking much of this since he does this a lot. Your eyes locked for a moment while he caressed your cheek with his hand until something changed…

You tried jerking your head away when you felt these cold and slimy appendages slither over your cheek instead of his beautiful slender fingers you loved to feel on your body. “Hold still now, bunny. You don't want to get hurt… or worse, now do you? He asked in a playful tone, letting his fingers - now tentacles slither over your face and neck. Tears started forming in your panicked eyes, the sensation of tentacles on your skin new and frightening when they slowly started choking you. Mahito was laughing menacingly as he watched a fresh wave of fear mixed with disgust wash over your face when one of the appendages slithered over your lips which you pressed into a thin line. “You need to open that little mouth of yours… or i might let them go through your nose” He hummed in amusement, proving his point by letting one of them move towards your Nostril. Your head was shaking violently from side to side, panic increasing as your tears streamed down your cheeks in thick streams now and he sighed, one tentacle pushing into your nostril to let your know he was serious while a look of disappointment started forming on his face - His once so obedient little human suddenly refused him.

Every single hair on your body was standing from the feeling which caused you to reluctantly open your mouth, the tentacle immediately removing itself from your nose and slithering over your lips, slowly ascending into your awaiting mouth. Your body was repulsed by it, gagging wildly at the salty taste the slime left behind on your poor tongue, making sure to rub itself all over your wet muscle so you had no other choice but to taste it. “Look at you, taking it like a good girl. Now close your pretty lips around it, treat it like my cock you love so much” He chuckled but it turned into a laugh when you were pleading him not to make you do this but Mahito wasn't asking you, he was demanding so you behaved like his good little human and did what he wanted, sucking on the tentacle as if its his cock. It took everything inside of you not to gag when you felt a second one slide into your mouth and down your throat, moans from your lover filling your ear when he saw how beautifully your throat was bulging from the intrusion until he decided you had enough, taking the tentacles out of your mouth and kissing you forceful, his tongue invading your mouth like the slimy tentacles did just seconds ago.

His face showed pure euphoria upon tasting your saliva mixed with the salty taste of his tentacles. His kiss distracted you from the way his other hand transformed now too, letting slender tentacles slither over your naked body that was at his mercy until you couldn't ignore the cold sensation anymore, crying out for him to stop but still not using your safeword, which would have been useless regardless. Mahito positioned himself behind you, your ass still propped in the air, your face now resting against the mattress. Wet tentacles slowly slithered over the globes of your ass and along your thigh, ultimately resting at your folds to pull them apart, giving your lover a perfect view of your pretty slit. “Look at you, little pet. Crying and screaming but your cunt is drenched” he mused, smirking at your miserable frame before spitting onto your core that was fully on display for him which made you whimper out of humiliation, feeling his saliva along with your juices slowly dribble down your thighs and staining the mattress beneath you. He was right - it felt disgusting and you wanted it to stop but at the same time it felt so good to be forced into submission by him, letting him do everything he wanted to your body. Unbeknownst to you, a moan slipped out of your lips when one of the tentacles slowly wound itself through your folds, missing every sensitive spot on purpose. This made Mahitos wolfish grin spread further, the tentacle stopping dead in its tracks, resting right next to your bundle of nerves. “What a naughty little thing you are, bunny. Enjoying this like a needy slut” He whispered the degradation in your ear before wiggling the slimy appendage over your clit in a barely there touch, making you cry out from the weird, yet intense sensation.

The way your juices mixed with the slime of the tentacle caressing your clit made it unbearable to you, whines and moans cascading out of your mouth in a desperate way, needing a little more to tumble over the edge than just the feather light touch but Mahito heard your prayers, the slimy appendage now adding more pressure to your sensitive clit, making your jaw slack with a silent scream. The wetness of it aided as lube, easily flicking over the nub until it had you screaming out loud in pleasure, the knot in your abdomen finally snapping and Mahito laughed at the mix of emotions on your face, pleasure and disgust when you realized just what gave you this mind blowing orgasm and that this would not be the end. Your fears were correct when you felt four tentacles play with your entrance, taking turns on slipping in the tiniest bit until two of them slithered in to spread your cunt open, opening you up for the third one. A scream escaped you, begging him to stop but it was only amusing him further, letting the tentacle grow in girth as it slowly pushed itself inside of you. You felt every nub inside of your walls and the way it wiggled inside you let you feel things you've never felt before. “There you go. Give up your little fight… accept the pleasure it brings” Mahito cooed, feeling the way you slowly stopped clenching around the tentacle, making it much easier

To slip it further inside of you, the two smaller ones which spread you open slowly joined the thicker one and stretching you further than you've ever experienced.

Your jaw hung wide open at this sensation, one tentacle pressing against your sweet spot as the other two rubbed against your walls and prodding at your cervix to give you pleasure. With your eyes closed you slowly allowed the sensations to make you feel good, another tentacle playing with your clit again had you whimpering for more, growing greedier by the minute. “Awh are three inside of you not enough?” your lover teased and slid another one back into your mouth to fuck your throat but this time you welcomed it, sucking on it like a pacifier. It muffled your moan when you felt another tentacle enter your stretched cunt, but there was no pain, the little appendage rubbing your nub made sure you're enjoying it all as two more sucked and pulled on your hardened nipples. Pure ecstasy spread through your body, moaning loudly around the tentacle in your mouth but your eyes shot wide open when you felt another small one massage the ring of muscles at your ass, slowly prodding into your puckered hole. “I can't believe you let a disgusting tentacle take your little anal virginity, aren't you disgusted by it? By yourself for feeling this much pleasure?” Mahito asked sinister as he pushed it further into your behind but you only shook your head - it didn't hurt and you the disgust was long gone. You knew he didn't mean it, he loved the way you were so eager to please him by letting him do everything to you, he would never shame you for feeling pleasure since that's exactly what he wanted, for his little experiment to discover new pleasure and the way you slowly succumb to it.

The torturous assault of tentacles lasted hours, your holes stretched and your poor body begging for a break from the continuous orgasms Mahito brought you with his newest experiment. “Give me one more and I'll let you rest” he cooed, pushing against your sweet spot repeatedly with a smaller tentacle as the thick one nestled itself into your womb, making you feel as full as never before. It was enough to have you screaming until your voice was hoarse and with a last flick against your clit he had you squirting all over the bed again, taking one tentacles after the other out of your abused cunt until only one remained on your clit along with the other inside of your behind. “I need to see you break, bunny. Think you can cum again just from this?” He asked, nibbling at your neck while one of the slimy appendages kept rubbing your clit as the other one thrusted into your puckered hole. Your head was shaking violently, overstimulated to the point where it started to be painful but you still didn't use the safe word and allowing him to continue with this torture until he had his fill from seeing you cum over and over just from the anal penetration until you passed out.

You don't know how long you were gone but your legs were aching, your holes sore which reminded you that this wasn't a nightmarish wet dream - it really happened and you felt like crying when Mahito pulled you closer into his arms. “Did we go too far today, my bunny? Does your tiny body need a break?” He cooed in a fake sympathy but you still appreciated his care, nuzzling your face into his chest to return to the safe space in his arms. You knew he didn't want to hurt you and he didn't, at least not physically. “You did so well for me today… such a good girl. My perfect little human” he whispered as he played with your hair, hoping you can fall asleep soon since he already cleaned you up while you were unconscious. Mahito may be a curse created out of hatred, unable to love but he felt something towards you, something that runs deeper than just his curiosity - your name was carved into his soul after all.

Networks: @enchantedforest-network @themovingcastlez @planetonet @bitchcraftinc

[rene-spade]

Ok but how are the crazy f1 dads with their daughters dating? Who on the grid do they like?

oof this is a loaded ask bc they really are all out of it 😭 they just love their babies fr

♤ ♤ ♤

dad! kimi | growing up räikkönen!

FIRST OF ALL kimi doesn’t really vibe with most people in general, let alone anyone who’s trying to get with his little lumienkeli. kimi was lucky to raise a little girl similar to him, who listens when he places a no dating rule lasting until she’s 21 (as far as he knows anyways). despises the guys on the grid trying to get with her; he was one of them once so he thinks of them as animals, especially leclerc who’s known for his brow-raising dating life. also hates pierre but he already didn’t fw him bc he’s french. he is SLIGHTLY more easy going with women around his daughter so any grid guys with girlfriends might have an advantage. he finds that he wants the im-a-dog-and-ill-do-whatever-my-girl-says type for his daughter, but he dislikes unintelligence. he does not like anyone on the grid, but he best tolerates:

mick schumacher!

oscar piastri (+lily)

he vibes with kika okay but hates pierre 💀

bonus! he actually really likes max but his hate/distrust for jos overpowers that so he’s not letting that happen

♤ ♤ ♤

dad! jenson | growing up button!

OK SO JENSON is a bit less intense than kimi, however he is much more publicly affectionate with his daughter which means that he has definitely gone on public rants about how no man is good wen enough for his baby. that being said, he is a decent judge of character so he doesn’t hate anyone on the grid. but he gets real serious when he notices people hitting on his baby. this is mostly bc he was def a whore when he was younger so he isn’t quick to trust guys who are living the same lifestyle he was. he kind of turns on dad-mode when he notices anyone eyeing her up. but alas, he raised his own mini-me, who attracts just about everyone, and who likes to flirt back. it takes warming up to, but he can see himself fine with most of the drivers. he most prefers people who are friendly and who didn’t act like him when he was in f1 like:

george russel

daniel ricciardo

lando norris

♤ ♤ ♤

dad! fernando | growing up alonso!

NANDO IS DEFINITELY one of those guys who thinks he’s a “cool dad” bc he’s a young father and his daughter is his best friend. but in reality he’s one of those intense, fiercely overprotective dads who have impossibly high expectations for his daughters partner. 100% the type to punch a mechanic for saying gross things about his princesa. he’ll be calm and in a good mood then someone on the grid (or any man ever) mentions his daughter and he’s like 😐. UNLESS! it’s carlos. carlos is the only one who meets his standards, sorry to literally everyone else. but even with carlos, he can be a little stern just to get his point across about not messing with his only child. he just feels the need to personally approve of his daughter’s partner bc he’s hyper-paranoid about someone hurting her. his list looks something like:

carlos sainz!!!

that’s it

i mean if you put a gun to his head maybe max bc he’s a winner but he needs to learn to speak spanish so-

♤ ♤ ♤

dad! jos | growing up verstappen! unfortunately

FUCK JOS VERSTAPPEN obviously, however this man is one crazy dad who we have to discuss. his love for his youngest daughter is wild and unpredictable, and it’s very different from the way he treats his other children. his baby has some extreme one-sided beef with him that he’s smart enough to know about, so he isn’t too forceful about bonding, it’s definitely more desperate since max found success in f1 and she sticks with her big brother now. her entire life, he’s never allowed her to date, and when he found out about her first secret bf, he got arrested for trying to kill the kid so. he has IMPOSSIBLY high standards for his daughters partner and definitely wants her to marry within the f1 community, but he hates losers and despises half the grid.

suddenly he’s charles leclerc’s biggest fan !

lewis hamilton but he’ll never admit it

MAYBE carlos sainz

bonus! max obvi likes daniel ricciardo best but jos doesn’t fw him like that

♤ ♤ ♤

Ren

[alacetor-the-duckies-deer]

List of things Alastor actually knows about cellphones. In the order he learned them

-You can change the ring tone to anything you want.

-They can be protected by passwords

-It's ridiculously easy to find out someone's password

-How to actually change the ring tone (it took six months)

-One can change the password

-You can take pictures and change the background images to anything you want.

-It can be protected by a pattern.

-Some of the little app doohickeys are very distracting, and you will lose an entire afternoon.

-You can delete most of the little app doohickeys

-They can be protected by facial recognition.

-If a man gives birth to his daughter and she is basically 98% his clone, the facial recognition can't tell the difference.

-If you get caught trying to change the ringtone on someone's phone by their daughter, it is not considered an irredeemable quality, but rather a prank, and she will infact help you.

-You can download more, and worse, ringtones and images.

-If you go too far the next time you use her face to open a phone, she will rat you out.

-If you schmooze the woman who runs hell's internet she will unlock the phone from her office.

-And tell you how to change the password

-And how to change the theme

*If you change the background image, the theme, the password, and the phone case, no one can prove it's NOT your brand new phone no matter how wildly bizzar that sounds.

-Unless they get their duaghter to calls her dad and your brand new cellphone rings.

-Claiming you're honored to be labeled "dad" in HER phone will not, in fact, convince them its your phone.

-The king of hell can protect his phone with magic.

[drizztdohurtin]

Gale Headcanons: pining, dating, marriage & domesticity

〚 Masterlist | WIP List 〛

this one's gonna be a doozy <3

I did change it slightly from the original description on the poll (which was dating, romance, and domesticity) because I felt like marriage would be a simple add-on.. who doesn't want more Gale content, anyways?

This post will be organized into 4 parts: pining, dating, domesticity, and marriage - so only read the parts you're interested in!

-MDNI-

some nsfw in the 'dating' & 'marriage' sections, but nothing explicitly described

Pining:

i mean.... we all played the game, right

in the game, act 1 only includes light courting with Gale, versus the far more intimate moments Tav can have with companions like Lae'zel and Astarion

Tav's relationship with Gale goes from 0 to 100 in the game once you get to act 2, and I'm not a big fan of that

he's just like "hey remember that one time we shared a blink of a moment in the weave and then we never talked or hinted at anything ever again? Great, now let's have sex and also I love you <3333"

Realistically, that's not how Gale would be, so let's rewrite history

Gale's courting tactics involve a lot of info-dumping and complimenting, as we know, and he does this without even realizing it at first

up until the party at camp, that is his only strategy

he realizes he likes you fairly early on, but he actually battles those feelings for a long time - he tries very hard to shove them down and forget about them

but he can't!! everything you do seems to draw him in more and more

at the party when he offers to have a magical moment with you, he does not think you reciprocate any feelings for him

he just wanted to give you a little glimpse into the thing that he loved so much, the thing that he'd spent his whole life learning

it's not something he would do with just anyone, even if it just seemed like a friendly gesture

once he perceives your feelings for him, or at the very least the fact that you want to kiss him, he's elated - hoping to the Gods that the impression on his chest doesn't start glowing at his excitement

it was too risky to do anything with you that night, but it was all he could think about once he was in the privacy of his tent

he thought about what it meant - did you just want to kiss him (was it lust?) or did you mean something deeper? did you want him the way he wanted you? did you admire him the way he admired you?

but then he thought of the danger, and how it was pointless to get close to you or to allow you to get close to him

pointless only because he could literally level a city at any moment

but you just kept being you, and so he kept falling harder and harder - eventually, he just had to confess

upon his confession, he didn't sugarcoat anything, he was brutally honest about his worries

but he was also brutally honest about his feelings for you

the fact that you reciprocated any feelings towards him, the man with the ticking time bomb in his chest, was astonishing

he was so happy... and yet he felt so guilty

Dating:

you two start dating before the orb is stabilized by Elminster

it's very nerve-wracking for him, but he can't deny how wonderful it feels to be yours

upon your suggestion, he would agree to slowly try to take things further and further, up to a certain point

each night in his tent, you'd experiment with him - starting with just holding him, or sleeping next to him, or kissing his face

Gale made a whole big deal about your guys' first kiss, and you realized that the build-up could actually increase the chances of any unwanted orb activity

so one day you just walk up to him and kiss him

nothing long, nothing deep - just a quick kiss, stepping away right after (the look on his face was priceless btw)

and you were right, all of Gale's inner build-up to it was the issue (poor guy), so once it was over with it was very easy to work up to the point where you could come to his tent and kiss him for hours

one night you start exploring each other's bodies and you're surprised with how well of a hold he seems to have on not allowing his excitement to reach his orb, as you're able to go much further than you thought you would on the first night

but once you get to a point where your hands start exploring lower, under certain pieces of clothing, that's when it is time to stop

Gale would apologize profusely, telling you he'd give anything to be able to please you, but it was too dangerous at that moment - you'd have to keep working up to it (plz reassure him that that's not why you're with him, and you'll wait as long as you need to, even if you're never able to do anything with him PLEASE)

you and the group come across Elminster about a tenday after that, and *poof* the orb is stabilized

that night you and Gale go to "test out" the newfound stability of the orb

Gale's pretty nervous about it at first, but his anxiety is proven to not be needed pretty quickly

he ends up going down on you that night, wanting to save anything further for a more private, intimate setting

your first time together happens once you get to the shadow-cursed lands (the canon in-game scene, whichever you prefer)

after that, you guys have a few more encounters up until the Absolute is defeated - not being allotted much time for private intimacy

the 500 words describing the progression of your guys' physical intimacy aside - Gale is such a wonderful partner

Gale is such a considerate boyfriend, and he's funny!!

He'd 100% brag about you and he'd do it when he infodumps on people

Gale "erm actually ☝🤓, my partner..." Dekarios

He really likes when you sleep in his tent with him, or when you lay with him and let him read to you

He doesn't talk about the future with you - as much as he hopes for a future with you, he tries not to think about it too much because you both very well could die trying to defeat the Absolute

But if he's going to die, he wants to die loving you <3333

but to be honest, he does think about it a lot, he just tells himself it's all hypothetical

his thoughts are like this: "I really want to take Tav back home and introduce them to Tara and mother... THEORETICALLY ☝️☝️"

"HYPOTHETICALLY ☝️!☝️!.... i wonder if Tav would want a ring when I propose"

he just thinks that on the off-chance that you guys survive, maybe he should be prepared

Gale's the type to be like "my love, it's been exactly 93 days since you first agreed to be mine <333"

when you guys get to the city he WILL celebrate your 100th day of being together by taking you somewhere nice :))

Marriage:

okay this is going to be controversial..... but I like the way Gale proposes in-game

it very much feels like an accident, because he probably didn't mean to propose when he said "as a new member of the Dekarios clan" but it just kind of slipped out when he was asking you want to settle down with him

He considers you to be his family, and his asking you that question might've just been to see if you felt the same way

it does seem very Gale for something like that to just kind of happen, so despite the haters, I think it's very cute and very endearing, and I'm kEEPING IT

whether you return to Waterdeep with him or relocate somewhere else together, you get married within 6 months after defeating the Absolute

despite him saying "the Dekarios clan" (and despite popular headcanon), his family is very small - consisting of himself, his mother, and Tara

I'm a subscriber to the headcanon saying that Gale is an only child who grew up without a father and that any other family is spread all throughout Faerun, so he's not particularly close with any of them

so when you agree to marry him, he's so beyond happy at the thought of you joining his family

and perhaps the idea of growing it with you ("Gale as a dad headcanons" coming soon if that's something you're interested in)

he LOVES referring to you as his wife/husband/spouse, and before you guys get married he LOVES introducing you as his fiance!!!

it literally makes his heart jump

"my wife/husband/spouse" this, "my wife/husband/spouse" that

just like when you two were dating, he'd talk about you constantly

no one, not even his students are safe from him rambling about his spouse

taking last names isn't much of a thing in D&D and Forgotten Realms lore unless you're dealing with nobility (most common people don't even have surnames)

BUT THIS IS MY HOUSE (I'm literally a DM irl and I'm about to say fuck canon)

so if taking his last name is something you want to do, do it and he'll have a fucking heart attack

honestly, he'll even take yours if you want him to

he thinks it's romantic okay !!!!!! anyways

Gale organizes something every single year to celebrate your anniversary, and he'll never stop

on your anniversaries, he'll dedicate as much of his day to you as he can (lowkey he might take off of work)

he'll wake you up with breakfast (and maybe other things...), take you out for an activity or two during the day, and then some years he'll take you to dinner, and other years he'll make dinner for you (unless you have a strong preference for one or the other)

and then end the night with a romantic, candlelit bath, more intimacy, and really good sleep

I love the idea of married sex with Gale, guys - it's like just being married gets him off

Gale brings a sort of 'missionary sex with the lights on' vibe to the marriage that some readers don't really like

unless you're happy with that (and how could you not be), you'll definitely have to be the driving force in changing things up in the bedroom once you guys are married

Domesticity:

OKOKOK the meat and potatoes of this fucking post

Gale REEKS of domesticity

he does not need the Crown of Karsus when he is already the King of Acts of Service

(nsfw content implied) this headcanon of mine still keeps me up at night

during the events of the game, he will do literally anything he can to make your life easier

the reason he started cooking for the group every night is just because he wanted to take that burden off of you.... and quite frankly he knows he's good at it.... but MOSTLY because he wanted to take the burden off of you!

when you start regularly sleeping in his tent with him, he will start keeping an extra pair of camp clothes in there for you, and an extra bed roll

he takes on the role of alchemist, making healing potions for you and anything else that you might need

when you're in pain, he finds a way to modify Burning Hands or Cone of Cold so that he can direct small amounts of it to his hands and then places them on any aches and pains you have (menstruators! rejoice!!)

After the events of the game, once you two are home (wherever that may be), he takes care of most of the household chores unless you beat him to it

He does the grocery shopping, he cooks all of the meals, he does all of the repairs and maintenance, makes the bed every morning, does your laundry (or sends it out to be done), does yard work or gardening, ALL OF IT

you're like how tf does this man have time to beat me to all of the chores AND work a JOB !?

he has to remind you that he's a wizard and can just cast spells that do things like that, including mage hand

but the fact he even takes any care in doing such tasks for you is just the sweetest shit on the planet

he also loves to run soothing baths for you, and will always join you if you ask him to

if he doesn't have to be up early he will bring you breakfast in bed

he leaves little notes around for you to find, some of them have puns on them but most of them say how much he loves you

*1.6k words later* SEND POST !!

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Cherry Bomb

Sirius Black x f!reader

warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, oral (female receiving), soft!dom sirius, underage smoking, brief underage drinking, rough sex, pretty good sex imo, this all leads to a bigger plot i promise !!

summary: you’ve got a plan, and that plan starts with a simple shag with a simple man. sirius black.

word count: 1.6k

a/n: i used two beautiful prompts from this beautiful account @eloquentmoon and they are as followed.

11. “Louder, let me hear you”

28. “I want to have my way with you”

i listened to fat bottomed girls by queen during this and god did it help. anyway, enjoy :)

~~~

If boys could be considered easy, Sirius Black would be the easiest boy in all of Hogwarts. To shag Sirius Black, a girl only needs to meet a short list of requirements. One, she must be fit. Two, she must not be a virgin. And three by far the most important, she must be desperate for Sirius Black.

That’s why he was the first on the list. He was the easiest.

~~~

You stare in the mirror for a few seconds. Everything seems alright. Your dress is tight, your makeup is done, and most of all your plan is set. You turn to your friend and gesture to yourself.

“You’re stunning, as always. I don’t get why you’ve been insisting on doing this. What’s the goal?” Your friend says.

“Some fun I suppose.” You look at the clock on the dorm's wall. “I better be going, parties not going to last forever. Neither is Mr. Black’s smoke break.”

“Have a good time then.”

You grab your purse and start for the door. “Will do. See you tomorrow.”

After a few minutes of walking, you find Mr. Black exactly where you predicted him to be. He’s sitting on one of the benches, a cigarette between his lips. You casually step out into the moonlight, your hand rummaging through your purse. An unlit cigarette is held between two of your fingers, you make a sound of disapproval as you continue pretending to search your bag.

“All right there miss?”

You look up from your bag and shake your head. “Forgot my wand in my dorm.” You pretend to just notice the cigarette between his lips. “Mind helping a lady out with a smoke?”

“Why of course,” he answers. He gestures for you to come closer, and you gladly comply. “But I’m going to need your name first.”

“Why’s that? All I’m asking for is a quick light,” you reply.

He smirks. “If you know mine, I feel it’s only polite to know yours.”

“I don’t know yours, so we’re even. Anyway, how about that light now?”

Without another word, he pulls out his wand. You stick the cigarette between your lips and lean down. He’s surprised, you can tell from the way his eyes shift. Nevertheless, he lights the end of your cigarette. You lean back and take a long breath of smoke. It feels all too familiar in your lungs. You take a step back and pull the cigarette from your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

“Y/n y/l/n.”

“Pardon?”

You look down at him. “My name, it’s y/n y/l/n. I’m from Ravenclaw, probably why you haven’t heard of me.”

“I’m Sirius Black from Gryffindor,” he replies.

“Ah Gryffindor, that’s where I’m heading actually. Heard there’s a big party up there, why aren’t you there?” You ask, sticking the cigarette between your lips again.

He shrugs. “Needed a small break. ‘Suppose it’s a good thing, right? Or else you wouldn’t have that precious fag between your lips. Perhaps it’s fate.”

“I don’t believe in that nonsense.” You pretend to check your watch. “Seems like the time is flying by. I’ve got to run before all the firewhiskey is gone.”

You drop your cigarette to the ground and smoosh it with your boot. When your eyes meet his again, you’re happy to see the slight shift. He’s curious, you can tell. Good. Curious is good. You give him a small smile.

“Nice to meet you Sirius Black from Gryffindor, ‘suppose I’ll see you up there, till then,” you say, giving him a small wink before turning on your heels and starting for the doors.

“Nice to meet you too Y/n y/l/n from Ravenclaw!” You hear him call from behind, but you don’t acknowledge it.

Phase one is done.

It’s almost an hour later when the second phase begins. You’re dancing to the beat of Queen’s newest hit, your hips swaying in a way you hope is entrancing. One or two shots of firewhiskey have been down your throat already, and you’re tempted to reach for a third, but that’s when you see him.

He’s across the room, his dark eyes practically glued to you. Despite how much you’ve planned this moment, you can’t help the butterflies that take over your stomach. Sirius Black, one of the most popular boys in the school, wants you. You lick your lips and watch as he lifts his hand, gesturing to you to go to him like he had earlier in the night.

You inhale one last breath before beginning the walk to him.

It’s the last time you’ll walk straight for a day or two.

And so, phase three begins.

~~~

You gasp as your face meets one of the pillows on his bed. You try to get back up on all fours, but it feels nearly impossible. With one of Sirius’s hands presses down on the small of your back, while the other grips one of your hips you’re lucky your legs haven’t given out yet. He fucks you relentlessly, and you’ve never loved anything more.

“Fuck Sirius,” you moan, you can’t catch your breath. Your orgasm is close. “Sirius.”

“Louder, let me hear you.” His voice is like music to your ears. “Let them all hear you love.”

“ ’M gonna cum Sirius,” you say, a bit louder than your previous words. “Fuck I’m so close please don’t stop.”

“Wasn’t planning to.”

You cum a few seconds later, your whole body shaking as you do. Sirius doesn’t falter for even a moment, making your orgasm ten times more pleasurable. When you’re done, he pulls out and flips you over onto your back. Your eyes meet and you almost audibly moan.

How could someone be so bloody handsome?

He lowers himself so he’s on top of you, his body held up by his two hands placed on either side of your head. You wrap your arms around him, and as he thrusts inside you once again, you let your nails drag down his back. He kisses your neck sloppily, causing you to whimper.

“Have you never been shagged properly?”

You can’t help the small laugh that leaves you. “I suppose not.”

“Something mustn’t be right because your pussy is by far one of the best I’ve ever had.” He presses himself so deep inside you, that you wince in pain. He’s reached your cervix. “So soft, so warm, so tight. In fact, I think I need a taste.”

He pulls out of you again and quickly kisses down your body, pausing only to suck hard on one of your nipples. After that, his tongue is on your stomach, your navel, your...

“Sirius, what are you-”

“I want to have my way with you.”

Your back arches as he begins to lick your clit. Your thighs clench around his head, and your hands move to his hair. You squeeze your eyes shut, the pleasure almost too much for you to handle. He eats you out as if he’s been starved his entire life. His lips and tongue are so soft, so warm. Your second orgasm comes far quicker than the first.

“Perfect taste.”

He begins to crawl up your body, his mouth shining with your cum. You don’t hold yourself back from kissing him, in fact, you’re the one who initiates it. You love the taste of yourself on his lips, it’s one of the most attractive things you’ve ever encountered.

After a minute or two you push him down onto the bed and crawl on top of him. From the way he’s grinning up at you, to the way his gorgeous hair is sprawled out on the mattress, you can’t help the words that slip from your mouth.

“None of the gossips ever mentioned how empowering it is to have the great Sirius Black underneath you.”

He raised a brow. “I thought you didn’t know who I am.”

“I uh...” You give him a small smile and begin to move your hips back and forth, his cock sliding between your incredibly wet folds. “I knew you didn’t know my name, so I pretended not to know yours. To make it even.”

It wasn’t a complete lie, but it also wasn’t the complete truth either.

Sirius’s eyes flutter shut, his hands moving to grip your hips. “I know your name now y/n y/l/n.”

“And you will remember it,” you reply. “Not like all those other girls whose names you forget the next morning.”

“Course not love.”

“It’s not a question.” You lift your hips and slowly begin to sink down on his cock. His fingers dig into your skin, you place your hands on his chest. “It’s a statement. I’m going to spell it out for you.”

You start to rock back and forth and up and down, just the way you know drives guys mad. Sirius is no different. Except, unlike the others, he doesn’t bother to hold back from moaning his approval. You lean down after a few minutes, so your lips are almost touching his ear, and with each movement of your hips, you say a letter of your name.

So, by the time you reach your third orgasm and Sirius reaches his first, your name is properly engraved in his head.

When everything is done and you’re both spent, he holds you in his arms. Your head rests on his chest, and you listen to his gentle heartbeat. The two of you share a cigarette in silence. It’s not uncomfortable in the slightest. Sirius Black has that effect on people.

As you stare at the wall you wonder how you’re supposed to move forward with the plan. You never expected such aftercare from the school player or such kindness during the shag. He’s a very giving lover, contrary to the popular belief that he’s simply another boy who enjoys using girls for his pleasure. You take one last long drag of the cigarette before handing it back to him and closing your eyes.

“I think I quite like you, y/n y/l/n,” he suddenly says, his voice barely above a whisper.

This plan might be harder than you thought.

[feelinmatcha]

❛ 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘, 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 ❜

description: your boyfriend tends to remind you that you're so easy to love. characters: alhaitham + scaramouche (wanderer) a/n: had this idea brewing in my drafts and decided to finish it off ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

"no, i'm not buying a book from a genre i don't even like."

that's okay, alhaitham will.

actually, the idea of giving you your own bookshelf would already be on his mind as soon as you've successfully moved in with him and kaveh. the only catch? kaveh insists that he builds it himself as a gift.

alhaitham subtly asks you of your favorite wood one evening in the kitchen over a heavy discussion of zaytun peaches that kaveh was supposed to buy earlier that morning. trust me, he already knows which wood you'd absolutely adore, but he took the precaution of asking once again just in case as he'd be quite perturbed that his plan didn't work out in the end like he intended. he wanted it to cater to you, not anyone else.

the topic drifted from zaytun peaches to the week's trending romance novel that you had finished reading a few days ago.

"haitham, you should put this on your to-be-read list!"

"really? what's the appeal, love?"

listen guys and girls, he wants to know why you'd recommend it to him!!!

give him every little detail on why!! you want him!!! out of all people!! to read it!!!

he really just wants to hear you talk about what you find interesting.

contrary to popular belief, he doesn't hate the romance genre. he just finds it... meaningless to read? the last time he gave it a try, there was no actual knowledge in it. just fictional love between fictional characters.

but of course, he would consider it if you were to suggest something. especially if the book has you running laps around the bedroom.

so he sets out on to the nearest bookstore when he's on his 'break' and purchases the same copy you had.

you're DISCOMBOBULATED. BAFFLED.

that night you two would be in bed, settling down for the night, and he whips it out-- his fingers spreads the pages near the ending of the book and he begins reading.

"babe... why are you reading my book?"

"no, it's my book. i bought my own so you wouldn't complain about me creasing the spine."

"but why'd you buy one?"

he side-eyes you, "you suggested the book."

"but i didn't think you'd actually... you didn't have to. i know you aren't fond of--"

"i'm fond of you, and that's enough."

"no, i don't want you starting a commotion here in public."

that's okay, scaramouche will.

he loves you with his entire heart, body, and soul.

if someone stares at you weirdly? they're already being glared down by him. if a salesperson says anything about your attire, your hair (or the absense of it), or your skin-- he's throwing himself across the stall and grabbing their shirt to bring them closer to you.

he makes them apologize.

a woman, a man, an elder, a kid-- doesn't matter. as long as they got a mouth that can yap, he's gonna shut it.

your friends would let what people say to you slide, but he won't.

it's bad enough that he feels as if he doesn't deserve you so when you start thinking of yourself as someone whose less than even the dirt and cement beneath your feet, he's angry at everyone else for letting it get this far.

"what are you talking about? they insulted you and you stood there and took it!"

you don't want to feel like a burden, like someone whose always in need of being protected.

"i'm not your friend, i'm your partner," he grits. "it's what i'm supposed to do, you idiot."

really, it's just the ideal of protecting you that's instilled within his puppet body.

poor baby does not know an ounce of romance yet he said that line so effortlessly and in a way that had you choking on your next words.

as you cling to his bicep on the dirt road, you thank him. profusely. he finds it a bit annoying.

"you need to get better friends." is all he says.

he knew what loyalty was. he practically would get on his knees for it, too. he constantly looked for that in a partner, and you had answered.

he knew loyalty was needed in friendships, as well as relationships. especially relationships.

so it unsettled him when he heard that your so-called friends brushed off the verbal assaults directed to you and had the audacity to then say: "just smile and don't let it get to you"

it wouldn't be the first he's done this and it certainly won't be the last, and that's okay.

he wants to enjoy the smiles, laughs, and jokes you end up sharing with him all in an attempt to calm him down but he's already been calm. he's always found himself significantly calm around you, whether he admits it or not.

"come on, let's go home."

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