#this may well be of interest to no one but myself

[taino-ti]

Help UK Trans Girl's Urgent Relocation!

Making this post on behalf of both myself and my girlfriend. As some of you may know, my girlfriend @plaidos is from the UK, where things are becoming increasingly dangerous for trans people every day. In the interest of her well being and safety, as well as other factors, we have decided it is best for her to move out of the country. Ideally, we would like to do this as soon as possible. I am currently looking for more work to help support us through the immigration process over to the US, but as of right now we could really use help in building our emergency funds. These funds will not only be going towards Visa Fees, Adjustment of Status & will serve as a safety net fund for things like travel, housing, and other cost of living expenses. Insanely huge thank you not only to every one who donates, but everyone who boosts this as well 🙏 Every little bit helps!

[kaelidascope]

Fandom and LGBTQ Hostility and My Experiences Trying to Exist in Both Spaces Online

I came into these spaces with a very strict rule that I would not react or do anything cancel-worthy out of an overabundance of caution. Digital footprints are dangerous. The things you say online will follow you around forever. I know that first hand. I’ve bottled up and stayed silent about a lot of things I’ve either witnessed first-hand or experienced because I was trying to maintain a clean online persona. I’m not an ‘airing out dirty laundry’ type person. 

In light of recent events however, it’s gotten so bad that I can no longer sit here and not say something about how I feel. I’m disappointed and frustrated with the experiences I’ve had both in fandom and LGBTQ+ spaces and I can’t be complacent. I’m tired of getting treated like this, I’m fed up and I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I feel it’s important I voice what I’ve been watching and what’s happened and how I’m not going to tolerate it anymore by calling it out first hand. 

This is a two-topic rant. They overlap in some instances, but it directly has to do with how fandoms behave in general towards each other on Twitter and Tumblr, and also how absolutely hostile LGBTQ+ individuals are nowadays to each other on the same platforms. 

I come from a different generation and a different social media platform. I wasn’t on Twitter and Tumblr until last year. I’m not dismissing the fact that I may have missed out on decades worth of culture and social expectation. The places where I come from aren’t exactly fantastic either, but at least here, more queer people are interacting with each other with shared interests much more widely than in places like DeviantArt. The amount of culture and information I’ve absorbed in one year is more than I ever had within the past twenty years. It should be a good thing, and I’m disappointed that it wasn’t. 

This is not the way I wanted to come out online to anyone. I’ve been figuring out where I sit on the gender and sexuality spectrum for a while now. I will not document a specific timeline for anyone because that’s nobody’s business but my own. Within the last year, I took a massive stride forward in exploring things I legally didn’t think I was allowed to. I expected backlash from cishets and the usual thing I see LGBTQ+ folks write essays over, about how the world hates us, but at least we have each other. Shockingly, the backlash didn’t come from straight people. It came from other queers. 

I am 27 years old and I am entirely self-sufficient. I’m mixed Puerto Rican living in a red state. English wasn’t even my first language. I don’t have a network, so I’m teaching myself these things. I'm asking questions. I'm reading materials and expressions of self-experience and self-identity through fanworks and other autobiographical content. I'm actively trying to seek community and support through transgender and non-binary individuals with shared interests and so far all I've been met with is hostility and assumptions. So much so that I've now been made to feel like I'm on a timeline to figure it out so I can have a well-practiced, short introduction to copy and paste to every person who comes across me. And the only reason I even need one is so that they can make the decision to pass judgement over whether or not I'm allowed to speak, write, draw, wear, act, breathe the things I do. I'm disappointed. I'm anxious. I honestly feel more shoved into the closet now than I ever did before and I shouldn't be. Nobody should be treated this way when trying to figure out who they are. I probably won't even get an apology for the things that were said to me, either. I pride myself on the extraordinary caution I take to be politically correct, vetted through reputable sources, and as close to authentic as possible. And yet somehow I’m still getting called things like terf, transmisogynistic, triggering, when I’m fucking trans myself and all of my content gets vetted/REQUESTED by trans individuals. I get promised up and down that people are kind and welcoming in these sorts of spaces and honey, they aren’t. The people you choose to be friends with aren't as inclusive and friendly as you think they are. You don’t even know me and what body parts I have. The fact that you need to know in order to decide whether or not to treat me with respect is telling of an internal issue that has nothing to do with me. 

I have no reference point. I live in a place where laws ban anything gender and trans. I have no local resources or community. I've barely met any LGBTQ people in person. If I have, they never came out publicly. Most of my queer exposure has been online, and the fact that I've seen nothing but angry, mean, exclusive and discriminating behavior without any sort of reasoning why other than selfish defensiveness, I don't know where else I'm supposed to go for support. Something a lot of you guys need to take into retrospect is anyone who identifies as LGBTQ gets shot where I live. We have sundown towns here. If you don’t even know what that is, good, but also that’s telling of your privilege that you need to consider when talking to others not from blue states. I didn’t grow up in an environment where we had these highly liberal culture points and the word ‘gay’ was never allowed to be said out loud. We did not have gay clubs in school. I'm about as fucking late to this as you possibly can get. The only reason I know anything about our history, representation, and barely anything about what's socially acceptable and what's not, is because of the internet. So many of you had the privilege of being exposed to this information as young as under the age of 10. I didn’t. Sue me for not immediately knowing what every gender label means right off the bat. Half that stuff isn’t even legal here. 

I can't believe it's boiled down to the fact that I have to somehow justify my existence on this Earth and give an explanation that fits into predetermined boxes just to do anything to engage with other people. I have no time or space to figure it out. I’m disorganized and overwhelmed because I can’t ask questions about ‘can butches do this?’ ‘How versatile is transmasc/transfem?’ ‘Am I more genderqueer or do I fit under the trans umbrella?’ Gender and identity is fluid and ever changing. I have actually seen people harp and attack individuals for "defaulting" or "detransitioning" when they change their mind after giving this big coming out speech. It’s like support on these platforms is entirely conditional and a one-time thing. Y'all really expect people to wear the first style of shirt they buy for the rest of their life? Are we not allowed to do anything unless we know for sure? How’s college working out for you, for those who believe this mindset?

The vocally aggressive ones who use big words that contradict their statements can do, say, and be whatever they want.  But people like me can't. The ones who have to straight pass in public to keep their jobs and maintain their life safely. Some of us have been on our own since 19 with no family support. Consider the environment someone lives in before assigning your harsh assumptions. I can’t just change myself on a whim without doing significant damage control. Half the jobs I work for don’t even allow unnatural hair colors. If we list our pronouns as anything other than our assigned sex at birth, it causes legality issues with taxes. The way I have to navigate how to explore my identity and also keep a roof over my head and my bills paid may seem highly conservative to most. It’s in no way shape or form meant to reflect disrespect on how others live and express themselves. I am doing the best with the environment I have. The way I do things is not meant to be read as a message of ‘you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it the way I do.’ None of us are wrong. That should not be the subliminal message here. 

You know someone actually challenged me on that? Saying I was being harmful for purposefully straight presenting in public? Please research your country and state specific laws before you say that to me. If I could afford to live somewhere safer and queer-friendly, this conversation would be different. I am working on getting the fuck out of this state. But I don’t have a partner or parents money to default on. I’m doing this by myself. It’s not impossible, just a slow process. 

I'm disappointed and fed up. I've reached my limit, and I don't really care anymore if someone uses this essay to try and cancel me 5 or 10 years from now when the world goes through another gender renaissance of terms and identities. I will not put up with being treated like this when you refuse to listen to anyone else other than the sound of your own voice. I’m trying my best to learn, adapt, and express myself. I do not need to be lectured or be called derogatory things just because you think I’m coming from a malicious place.  

It’s not just about the hostility and gate-keeping behavior exhibited in online queer spaces. The same exact thing happens in fandom spaces too. People get pissy about queer headcanons and presentations so much to the point of taking it upon themselves to police the fandom and scrub it clean of “impurities.” I’ve watched y’all go through people's social media pages for any type of ammunition for justification of a personal grievance. It shocks me how much hyperfixation gets put on specific and morally harmless things when there are people out there writing diabolical shit way worse than what I have to offer. And y’all happily support them too but bark at me about what I make cus that author fits your social criteria and you assumed I didn’t. Don't think I'm ignorant to every single scrap of hate mail and harassment I've gotten over the past year and a half in my inboxes. Including the passive aggressive posts about my work, vague tweets, and discussions about me in discord servers. Over what? Have you actually read my work? If it’s actually as problematic as you say it is, provide me with a modern and unbiased example why this particular scene and execution is harmful. And not because you got triggered or disliked the kink, or read the summary/tags and assumed it was something it’s not. I don’t know how much more caution tape, massive warnings, obvious clear-cut tags (that were provided to me by queer individuals to PUT on there in the first place) out of insane amounts of caution I can do. I have always been willing to provide spoilers and explicit details in case someone is unsure how they’ll be affected by something I make. If you already don’t like it based on my warnings, that’s always been more than okay! My work is not for everyone. I’m getting tired of politely and respectfully saying please move on, because the message seems to be getting lost in translation. So let me be clear; 

Get off my pages if you don’t like what I make. It’s not for you. It will never be for you. Dead dove. DO NOT EAT. PREFERRED DEMOGRAPHIC 25+ ADULT CONTENT RATED E FOR EXPLICIT. I can recommend so many other fantastic creators with better suited content for you! If I could hide my content behind a roped off section deliberately keeping you from seeing it, I would. BLOCK ME. 

If your response to this section is ‘well then just don’t write it’. Honey, there’s people out here in the RWBY fandom writing trans incest actively commenting on all your shit and you respond back. A magic grimm-goo strap and monster smut featuring a transfem character (again, requested by literally 3 trans people and WRITTEN by one) should be the least of your worries. 

I have actively chosen not to address the harassment and hate mail, because it's sad that half of you hate me so much you need to make a point of telling me so regularly. I sincerely hope moving on with your lives will grant you peace of mind. Truly.

This is why I barely interact with anyone. Nothing but hostility, harassment, and expectation to behave in ways I cannot emotionally commit to. I am exhausted, uninspired, and have such a bad taste in my mouth it's proving extremely difficult to want to do anything creative. It’s been worse with my recent exploration of my gender identity. Opening one door to write about certain things somehow, miraculously, closes ones I previously existed in. I’m practically getting kicked out if I’m not 100% one way or another. I don’t go out of my way to shove my content down your throats. Why you feel the need to come to me and tell me you dislike my existence because you read it, despite me stating this is not for everyone and probably not for you, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Idk what else I can do. Disappear off the face of the planet, I guess. That seems to be what the overall solution is when y’all find something you don’t like. I can't believe I witnessed grown adults in their mid twenties with self-proclaimed senses of rightness start a trend on Twitter to go through people's mutuals and their likes to see if they’re socially acceptable in Fandom spaces or not. That was fucking ridiculous. And especially not fair to those who had their private accounts leaked and put on blast when it was already behind an vetted follower wall. Believe it or not, people draw weird, lewd, diabolical shit. They’re actually being responsible by putting it behind a paywall, or some type of ‘proof of age before following’ requirement. It falls on the people who go on there, take screenshots, and post them publicly for minors and non-consenting individuals to see without filters what was previously hidden. It’s irresponsible and immature. 

For fear of getting canceled by the Fandom, I moved all 600+ accounts I was following onto a private alt. I don't interact with my main anymore. I went so far into hiding and didn’t dare share anything about liking content made by people I wasn’t allowed to like, because that’s how cruel it is out here. It's honestly stupid I even felt like I had to do that. For what? People glazed over the brief moment of drama within a few weeks and went right back to posting the same shit they always have. They find new things to gossip about on their privs. New enemies to cancel on Twitter. New things to deem problematic and attack. 

I will be heard with this letter. I don’t care to be associated with anyone who treats people like this. I don’t believe in it, I won’t support it, and I’d rather have a small circle of people who won’t be rude or attack other people for existing. I’m not going to sit here and take the abuse any longer. Leave me in peace. There is no reason any of this should be happening. 

This is not meant to undermine the support I have gotten from the few who know what I'm going through and have given me the space to figure it out. I appreciate every question answered and insight provided as much as your abilities allow. I'm so grateful for it. I just wish it wasn't 2 people while everyone else is an asshole.

[crystallizedtwilight]

I really like how you draw what you love in the moment. I am making a shift in my drawing interests as well, but I'm starting to feel guilty. My friends and followers know me as the (insert fandom) artist. Deep down I know what I am feeling is silly. Draw what you love! Who cares! I know that is the truth. So my question to you is, what do you do when those thoughts come to your head (if it does)?

What a thoughtful question! Below the cut:

Thank you! I've been on tumblr for 10 years and I have come to accept that I will always receive certain messages when I begin drawing a new interest:

"Guess you don't draw X anymore" / "Why did you stop drawing X?" / "Are you ever going to draw X again?" / "I want more X" / "When can we expect more X?" / "We're never going to see X again, are we?"

Though I've emphasized many times that this is my blog for all of my art and all my fandoms, every time I switch interests I am swamped with messages like this 3-4 months afterwards. It's an inevitability, because new folks may have missed that this is a "my current interest" blog, and old folks may not like the new content you're interested in.

At first it really bothered me, because I'd draw like 150 pieces of art for a fandom for 6 months straight, need a break, and the next day people will be like "guess you don't care anymore" like all the art I did wasn't enough.

The reality is: I like the idea of managing one blog for all of my artwork. I like how low-stress it is to have one, singular place I can still use a playground for my interests. I think it's a concept some people have forgotten is an option. Dare we call it a portfolio.

I am aware that the more "modern" way to conduct things, if you want to build an audience, is to have several blogs, each dedicated to one of your interests. But the very thought of managing 100 blogs every time I got a new interest makes my skin crawl and I know it would instantly suck the fun out of it for me.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to "build an audience", I just want to have a fun space for me. There are already so many social media sites out there besides tumblr, and if you're an artist that uploads to more than one, multiplying those by each of your fandoms? Sounds like more work than I want to do.

I can't remember the name of the artist, but I recall a few years ago one of the artists for the show Korra was bombarded with these sorts of messages when they started posting art that wasn't Avatar-related. And they said something to the effect of "I gave 2 years of my life to this show. Let me explore something new." And I'll never forget that. I feel the same way.

The theme of this blog is "my art". That's it. My interests change, sometimes circle back, and change again. And that's ok—that's how artists keep art fun for themselves. Every artist deserves a playground where they can share and connect with other people who are also just as excited about their newest thing. That's the joy of it.

Keeping yourself in a box just because that's what people want or expect you to do is the death of creativity. I am at peace with people unfollowing if our interests don't align anymore. This was never a blog for catering to anyone but myself, and that is ok.

So those messages don't bother me anymore. I know they're coming. I know they will always be there. And, every time, I will find new folks who do want to share in my new interest. I think in many ways I like starting over again. It feels refreshing.

But more than that, I know the importance of keep a space for myself online where I can be as creative and fun and silly as I like, chasing after the latest thing that is making me smile.

[neverinsignificant]

How I Am Getting Myself Out of A Funk

This past month, I’ve been in a very terrible funk that has left me with overwhelming stress, an unregulated nervous system, feelings of discomfort (hopelessness, worthlessness, etc…), bloating and a bad case of imposter syndrome. I realize I’ve been wallowing in my own self pity and not taking care of myself the way I should, so I am being honest and admitting that I am scared as to what road my life may take if I do not improve where I know I can by taking the necessary steps. Here’s how I’m getting myself out of this funk:

• Taking my iron medication

I was prescribed medication for my iron deficiency anemia years ago and I haven’t been taking them due to my fear of swallowing pills. I use to let them dissolve in orange juice, but I grew to hate the taste and realized I wasn’t getting the full benefits by doing it this way. I have a complicated history with pills and I would like to get over it by learning & possibly speaking with a specialist who can help me get over my fear as iron has many benefits that would be beneficial to my body.

• Growing comfortable with my therapist

I recently started therapy and as much as I like my therapist, it has been hard to open up to them as much as I’d like. I know it’s because this is a new experience, but once I grow the courage to discuss some of the things I really want, I know my stress levels will decrease and mental health improve because I won’t have to worry about them anymore.

• Cultivating gratitude

I complain…. A lot because if it ain’t one thing, it’s another but by cultivating gratitude, I can practice to be more thankful of what I have and lessen my desire for more and negative thoughts. It will also lead me back to the path of my spiritual journey, which I seem to have slightly abandoned.

• Consume more water

I made a Habits I’m Not Waiting Until January to Implement post back in December where I said this same thing and I wasn’t consistent, but it’s never too late to do so now.

• Working out with positive intentions

Usually when I workout it has been with the intention to develop a certain body type, which lead to me closely examining and prodding at my body in the mirror, but as someone that comes from a family with people who develop physical health issues as they age, it’s important for me to workout simply to remain healthy, especially as I am still young with an able body. Develop stronger knees; hip mobility; straight posture, strength building.

• Breathwork + thought-stopping

This will go hand in hand with meditation. Simply saying “stop” to negative thinking doesn’t usually work for me, but what does is reframing the thoughts I’m having by making a positive light out of it or actively listing solutions. I don’t tend to be consistent with this, but I’ll try.

• Focus on my gut health

Lymphatic drainage by dry brushing, drinking peppermint tea, eating cleaner based foods, consume more fiber-rich foods, cut out gluten, eating more with smaller portions.

• Say “Girl, fuck you”

To people, emotions, circumstances. Simply dismissing the issue has sometimes helped, especially if they’re minor. Living in delusion isn’t always bad.

I’m not a “clean,” health and wellness guru, goop using (whatever tf that is), green juice drinking everyday girl and that’s okay. This is fairly new to me and I didn’t notice the severity of my health until I felt a sharp pain in my chest from stressing. I won’t fully immerge myself in this “aesthetic” as it isn’t in my interest to do so, but I will incorporate some of the habits to my benefits.

“Everyday the sun won’t shine, but that’s why I love tomorrow!” 🌟 -Glorilla

[reashot]

Day 9 of 9 Days of Lancaster: Hero.

Warning: Angst.

Ruby: Hey Jaune. It's me again...

How are you today?

... I know stupid question, right.

I mean it's not like there's anything interesting going on right now.

I mean after we defeat Salem and bring peace to Remnant. Everything that came after feels a bit boring in comparison.

All the four kingdoms are slowly rebuilding, with even talk of Menagerie being elevated into a proper kingdom. Cool right?

....

Eh, you want to know about what happened to the rest of us?

Well, let little miss crater face tell you all about it.

*clears throat*

Let's start with my sister, she and Blake is going to get married this year.

Weiss is leading the reconstruction effort on atlas. She's been very busy. But she will make time for the wedding.

Oscar is still coming to terms with Ozpin being gone after the battle.

And me... The reason I'm still here is because of you Jaune.

*starts tearing up*

Because you sacrificed your life to save me...

Originally I wanted to come here to thank you for saving my life. But after coming here I realized that you're a piece of shit Jaune!

You should have saved yourself instead of saving me! Because of you I have to live knowing that you have to die in order for me to live.

Do you have any idea what it does to me? Your sisters may not blame me for your death but I know that deep down they probably do.

I hate you Jaune...

I hate you, because you I blame myself for your death.

And I hate you, because I can't forget you.

I wish I never met you Jaune. That way at least you don't have to die...

*breaks down crying*

Wh-who am I kidding I don't want that. I want to be together with you. To spend the rest of our days together...

You know Jaune. Everyone calls me a hero, the red hooded warrior, the silver eyes huntress and other such names. But when I asked about you. No one knows who you were...

The boy who saved my life and everyone already forgot you even exist... It's all just a big joke. Because to me you're my hero.

[igglemouse]

Another morning at Pascal's as it is becoming a bit of a habit. I would say I've moved in here but I still have things left over at my house so technically, I have not.

I'm ready to move forward with my life and I'm starting to think that Pascal is part of this new life that I'm building here in Oasis Springs but my old life slips back into the picture this morning in the form of a text from Simon.

He's apologizing for what happened although I don't think he needs to. It is clear to me now that what we shared last time was closure and perhaps its best left that way. Right now, I don't want to see him again. It's only going to complicate things.

Right as I put away my phone there is Pascal, greeting me as the day begins and already with a luster of a morning workout to his skin. He plays the role of a gentleman and kisses my hands, a little unexpected but welcomed all the same. I apologize to him about staying over another night and start to tell him that I'll head back home but he's not too interested in that idea.

"I don't mind," he tells me, I guess he's enjoyed having me over as much as I've enjoyed staying.

"I can head back later today if-"

"No no, please stay!" He says. "I won't be around much today because I have some team stuff I need to do but...seeing you here and about makes things a lot better."

"Perhaps I am your good luck charm then?"

"You just might be!"

So I guess I'm staying around? I figure I may as well make some ice cream with it being summer and all and summer in Oasis Springs so it really is the perfect time for it.

Pascal was right that he wasn't sticking around for long as he goes off to work out or do something with his team. Practice? Training? Is there a difference? I really should learn more about his career and maybe go see one of his games but for today, for right now, I'm going to enjoy warmth of the day in Pascal's pool...Pascal's kiddie pool!

I don't know if you've ever lived in an area of the world where the summers can be scorching but there are some days where it really just feels good. The heat is more like the passion of the sun, bringing energy to a day and just positive vibes over all and I'm immediately thinking of heading to a more public pool later this week and enjoying the summer to the fullest.

Overall, things have gone pretty well for me. No, actually, extremely well. Moving to Oasis Springs has been the best decision of my life and how could I say otherwise when I'm lounging around in a kiddie pool and tossing a rubber duckie around?

The only downside to any kind of heat is sweat, heat is heat and skin is skin so the first thing I do when I get back inside is slip inside of the shower.

Turning the knobs until the water is just right and welcoming it gave me the idea that I really should have one of these back home. Baths are nice, it's great to be able to soak every now and then, but nothing is quite like having a warm quick shower as they can be physically and mentally refreshing. I'll make a note that I'll have to get one of these myself.

Just as I finish washing up and just as I'm looking for a towel Pascal steps in and just the smell of him tells me exactly what he's here for. He smells like a man that just spent the day kicking a ball around the field. "Ummm, I was just finishing up-"

"Oh?" He takes a moment to take me in, his appetite for me clear. "Maybe we should take one together. I'm so sore and I can never reach my back and-"

"I know exactly what you mean..."

You can guess what happens from there.

After two 'showers' and the second one being more of a workout I realize I have just enough time in the day to open my stand and see how many simoleons I can bring in.

I'm sort of making the park my spot since, well, there's more people here and also no one has complained about it yet so why not? Why would anyone complain as well? I'm offering a valuable service for the community!

I don't think this is stopping anytime soon as well because now that Ray will apologize (video to come later he assures) people are coming back to my stand. Hopefully, it's only up from here.

And the day does go well, well enough to give me hope that the thing with Ray will eventually pass. Sure, I will have to earn trust back but most see him as an outsider whose opinion isn't worth much.

Just as I'm ready to close I'm greeted by one more customer. I'm ready to turn her away and tell her to come back tomorrow but she makes a comment on the salad that gives me pause.

"Strawberry Kiwi huh? Those strawberries are so sweet I can smell them from here! Where do you get them from?"

"The local grocer ummm..."

And after that she's asking all about my food, making it clear that there is a shared passion here, and maybe the potential for another friend? Time will tell...

Elsewhere, a man with ambitions so large that they barely fit in his head, planned. Alceo Giusto was a conductor and one who was willing to do anything to have the world move to his whims and his wishes but oh it was so very difficult to make the free give up their will. Especially with the seemingly ineptness of those who followed him. He stared at some piece of art, unsure of what it meant, uncaring of its value, thinking only of his disappointment.

"I am sorry, my Lord, but the woman I considered seems to be in a relationship-"

"You said she just moved here?"

"Y-yes, but it is no surprise that someone has started to court her. I-I did invite her but she politely turned me down."

"Yes..." Alceo said, the word dragging out as that was also another disappointment. He needed more and he needed it now. Frida might not have worked for the sacrifice, not if she was being 'fulfilled' as he put it, but to take a young woman like that and transform her, bring her to a higher purpose, that would be beautiful. It was why the Matlock Society existed, after all. "I might be sending you to Windenberg."

"Yes my Lord," Danielle says because there was never anything else to say to Alceo. Bad things happened when you disobeyed him. Very bad things.

"It was my intention to make the sacrifice this summer so that I could capture Gracelyn before the year ends but I suppose our plans will have to change," the sadness in his voice filled the room. How terrible? How utterly terrible was this? His tone seemed to say, as if some grand tragedy had befallen the world and it was all Danielle's fault.

Danielle, humbled, upset that she had upset her Master so, scrambled for an alternative because to find another like Frida could take years. "Y-you could win her over the traditional way, my lord-"

"Nonsense," Alceo shut that down at once. After all, doing that would give him no control over Gracelyn and he was a man that expected control over all things, especially things he planned on keeping close to him. "Her father would have said the same, you know? He would have arranged this marriage, you know, but..." Gracelyn's parents were killed. Murdered. The magical world, in Alceo's opinion, had lost its way then when it decided to execute the two most powerful spellcasters in the world.

"My lord, what about the aliens?"

"The what?" He scoffed, needing her to repeat that question so that he could understand its absurdity. Hopefully she didn't bring them up again.

"I-I was told that a pair of Sixams landed in Evergreen and-"

"Who cares? I wouldn't worry about an entire army of those silly creatures, much less two..."

"Y-yes, my lord, of course..." but Danielle wasn't so sure. After all, she had seen the Sixam's 'silly' civil war tear entire solar systems apart and she hoped it wasn't coming here as well. For now Alceo was right, their focus should be on Gracelyn, the only person in the world with Matlock blood running through them...

Episode List - Next

[wings-of-ink]

Ok on a scale of one to ten how good are the RO's at cooking/baking? What's one thing each of them can cook/bake really well and one thing they can't cook/bake at all?

Oh, I love this question, Anon. I'll score baking and cooking separate. Some people, like myself, have a knack for cooking over baking. One is an art and the other is more of a science, I think.

On a scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being the best baker or cook, I'd say...

Oswin:

Cooking: 7 - He's made a lot of his own meals since he was a teen and he's learned a lot. Makes a mean roast with lots of veggies and fresh herbs. Don't ask him to prepare eggs - he never gets them right.

Baking: 6 - He can follow a recipe well enough, but is less confident. Makes a very good and simple bread to go with his roast. He always over-mixes cake batter.

Zahn:

2 for both - "What fire?" They get by making suuuuper simple food on the road. Baking a potato or making a simple porridge is probably the best you're gonna get. Everything else...is risky.

Duri:

Cooking: 4 - They can do it, but don't have a ton of interest. If it's not interesting - meh - they don't care enough. They'll cook a decent steak (as long as it's rare). They try roasting veggies sometimes and they always...kinda go on fire, but they insist that they like the char taste.

Baking: 4 or 6 depending on the day. They really like baked goods, so they have incentive. If they can focus and take their time on a simple recipe, you may be looking at some tasty treats. However, they'll be prone to frustration. The moment the dough doesn't behave - it's over. -Will make some pretty good cookies. Duri cannot make bread to save themselves - the dough drives them insane (and it's all over them, the counter, and the walls for some reason).

Rune:

Cooking: 3 - uninspired, no flavor, not enough salt - but looks great. Nothing they cook comes out especially well or bad since it's all basically the same.

Baking: Solid 7, maybe even 8. There's a pattern to baking and that suits them the best. Quite good with cake, especially if it needs decorated. Their worst is pies - fruit doesn't belong in there, they say - why would you even want gooey-squishy fruit with pastry!?

???:

Cooking: 6 - he's pretty average here. Makes decent stews and fried fish. Bad with potatoes - never gets the salt right and their either over done or raw.

Baking: 10 - no soggy bottoms here - he's an amazing baker. This is an area he can get lost in. The smell of yeast takes him home. He makes the best bread - any kind - it's his favorite. (bread is also easily transportable within pockets) His weakness, if you can call it that, is probably cookies. They are still delicious, he just doesn't have the patience to make little individual treats. You're getting one giant cookie and that's that.

Thank you for the delicious ask, Anon! ^_^

[silenzahra]

Hi!!! Figured I'd hop in on the ask by now... so here's a few! 😁

🤩🛒👀

In reference to this ask game ✨

Heyyyy!!! 😁😁😁 AW yay!!! Thank you so much for asking, dear friend! Let's-a go! ❤️

🤩 - Since I already answered this one here with our man Mario, I'll choose Luigi now! Our baby is so sweet and tender that I always melt whenever I write him 🥹 And I relate to him a lot! I also have anxiety and get scared veeeery easily, as well as being extremely clumsy, and the social anxiety hits hard... 😅 I think it's actually more or less easy for me to write him because I know firsthand what it's like to have anxiety, and as I said, I share lots of traits from his personality, so really, writing him feels a lot like writing myself most times 😅

🛒 - I also answered this one here, but to add to the hugs and physical ways of the brothers of showing their love, I'll also include: comfort. Whether it's a very brief moment like in my latest fic or the whole story revolving around it, I just LOVE writing the brothers comforting each other, crying in the arms of the other, feeling safe and sound only when the other is hugging them... I swear I'm melting just by thinking of it 🥹❤️💚

👀 - Ooohhh I see... Hm, how about that nightmare fic I owe you and that I intend to post this month at last? 🥰

"No, Lu, no!"

Luigi feels a pang in his heart, not only at the fear and sadness that permeate Mario's voice, but also when he notices, under the pale glow of the moon that shines through the window, the tears that slide down his cheeks. What must his brother be dreaming that makes him cry so much? His face is twisted into a grimace of despair and desolation, and his chest heaves up and down between gasps and sobs.

"Mario,” Luigi calls softly, placing both hands on his twin's cheeks in an attempt to get him to wake up, to get him out of the clutches of that horrible dream, to get him to calm down.

But Mario keeps crying and repeating his name over and over again, his voice breaking more and more with each time Luigi's name escapes his lips, his eyelids clenched tightly as tears continue to flow from his eyes.

"Mario,” Luigi insists, raising his tone a little, and wipes his brother's cheeks with his thumbs. "Mario, listen to me: it's not real!"

Mario's crying stops for a while, but the wheezing doesn't stop.

"L-Lu?" he mumbles, hesitating, almost as if he's not sure he heard him.

"I'm here, Mario,” Luigi tells him hopefully, firmly, but also warmly, and caresses his face with extreme gentleness. "I'm with you. You're dreaming, Mario. It's a nightmare! It's not real!"

Mario's gasps continue for a few moments, his eyes still closed, his face showing confusion and uncertainty in equal parts. Luigi can feel that he's about to wake up, so, still cupping his sibling's face, he bends his head until his forehead rests on Mario's.

"I'm here,” he repeats softly. "Open your eyes, Mario."

I swear, the feels that I got just re-reading and translating this... 🥺 Hope you liked it, Vee, and perhaps @bberetd @peaches2217 @pepperycar @keakruiser @vulpixfairy1985

@stripetkattelalala54-gf @kelbreyworshipper would also like to read this? No pressure, of course, you're free to ignore this post if you're not interested! 🥰

Also, if I may add, this was a quick translation I just made, so perhaps it'll be worded differently whenever I post it! ✨

Thank you again so much for asking, sweetie! How I LOVE sharing snippets from my WIPs 😍😍😍

Again, to anyone reading this, feel free to send me as many asks as you'd like! 😁💖💖 (I'll continue answering tomorrow though, it's already past midnight for me!)

[icedmetaltea]

Just lettin ya'll know I'm ok

(random irl stuff to journal below, keep scrollin)

Wanted to wait to come back till

1. I wasn't dealing with mega gender dysphoria, my masc/neutral days are few and far between but by god it's been nonstop masc/neutral days lately and been a lot of just hating my body (and myself in general)

2. got the ebt stuff figured out, which I haven't yet, my doc put in a ref for a different place to sign a thing, waited 2 weeks for them to call, only to find out it was the wrong place and now I have to wait for the next place to call... which like yea I'm worrying about food but talking about it in therapy has helped somewhat. She reassured me even if that doesn't work we WILL find some place that'll sign the form I need to be eligible again

3. I wasn't dealing with as bad of depression/anxiety which like... idk. I've definitely been doing better anxiety-wise but idk if that's bc it hasn't been as hot lately or I've been feeding myself better. I know I must've been eating under 1200s calories the past few weeks bc the scale finally stopped going down and I know for a fact my anxiety gets bad when I'm hungry so I think for about a month I was unintentionally starving myself, SO making myself eat at least 2 nutritious meals a day now

At the same time I think perhaps my pmdd symptoms are... reversing time schedules??? Usually my anxiety/depression gets way worse before period but now it seems like it's fine before and terrible during/after????? Makes zero sense but who knows. Also it's a couple days late now so health anxiety is going off the shits about PCOS or something again UGH

Making SOME progress with therapy, am able to be outside for 5 mins without feeling that horrific sense of dread so that's something.

I've also been coming to the realization that I may have some form of DID?? Not the type where you lose time/blackout/completely have entirely different memories and starkly different personality switches but I've definitely been noticing now that I've been putting more attention to it how I go into different "modes" and sets of interests throughout the weeks and I mean... it's not secret I have imaginary friends I talk to on the daily. I've had an issue figuring out where "they" end and "myself" begins since childhood. Plus I already deal with derealization/dissociation/occasional age regression so it's not out of the realm of possibility. May bring it up next therapy apt. Kinda worried to bc I never want to get rid of them and I'm worried that would be one of the goals, like... just no. I can't think of anything more lonely.

But yea just random stuff I needed to get outta my system, sorry about all the suicidal stuff, it's just really hard. The future seems so bleak. And if one thing sets me back, like doctor stuff, food issues, etc my brain is like "DEATH WOULD BE EASIER LOL" BUT there's a chance trump/a republican candidate won't win, a chance climate change will be reversed/humanity will adapt somehow, a chance I'll be accepted for disability and live a halfway decent life, and if not... well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now there's food in the fridge, for now mom and dad are alive, for now we're ok.

[morningglory-sims]

Building Something New 💚

I love them - that is all! 😭 🥰 Looking forward to sharing their sweet relationship blossom, finally! I've been hinting about Ivan for a while, I think I dropped an easter egg in one of the first couple of posts about him 😎 bonus points if you can find which one it is!

First Story Post/Previous Story Post/Next Story Post

Transcript under the cut:

The Next Morning

Caroline, Sabrina and Ella's Apartment, San Myshuno

[ELLA] Who the hell is knocking at our door this early?

[ELLA] *raises voice* Hey Caroline, someone's at the door for you...

[CAROLINE] Oh! I didn't even have to text him.

[CAROLINE] Good morning, Ivan!

[IVAN] Hey, good morning.

[IVAN] *clears throat* I know its early, but I couldn't wait to talk to you about this.

I can imagine last night may have been a little bit confusing, and I owe you an explanation.

[IVAN] The truth is, I wanted to kiss you last night, I regret that I didn't.

I just didn't want to cheapen it by not letting you know how I feel. I wanted to take you on a proper date.

[IVAN] Sometimes I let my formulaic and systematic brain get in the way of just letting things fall into place.

It's gotten in the way of connecting with my relationships of all kinds, confusing others and even myself.

While I hope I didn't confuse you, I understand if I did and I'm so sorry

[CAROLINE] *smiles softly* Oh, Ivan. Any sort of confusion I felt was short lived because I knew that just asking you and having a conversation would clear that. And your hesitation makes sense, I-I admire you more because of it..

[CAROLINE] However, I would have been happy if we kissed last night.

[IVAN] *smiles softly at Caroline* Hmm, perhaps getting out of my big head once in a while might help.

[CAROLINE] I mean, I like that brain of yours, and maybe I could have been more forthcoming..

[IVAN] All that matters is that we know there’s mutual interest. *smirks* Now about that kiss I deprived us of last night...

[IVAN] *moves closer to Caroline*

[VAN] *cups Caroline's cheeks with his hands* I'm still taking you on a proper date, because I adore you.

[CAROLINE] *speaks softly* I would love that, Ivan.

[CAROLINE] *puts hand on Ivan's cheek*

[IVAN] *sighs contently, leans in*

[IVAN] *smiles softly* That was worth the wait.

[CAROLINE] All good things are... Except I don’t think I could wait any longer for a coffee before work. Come with me, please? If you have a bit of time before you have to head in.

[IVAN] Ah. Yes, I do. I could use a jolt of caffeine as well. I didn't particularly sleep well last night…

[CAROLINE] Oh. Was someone on your mind, hmm? *raises eyebrow playfully*

[IVAN] *blushes, chuckles* Well, yes. But don't tell her. She might find out about my crush on her.

[CAROLINE] *chuckles* And what if she already knows?

[IVAN] *kisses Caroline's hand* Oh good, I can tell her how beautiful she is, hmm?

[CAROLINE] *chuckles* Oh you. Let's get out of here.

[codacheetah]

If I made some kind of post related to my mirasif/miraisiloop thoughts would you guys trust me. Would you trust in my arospec sieve of projection. Would you guys kill me

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

[sciderman]

(Idk if someone asked this already) since we’re on the topic of gender

sci what is gender to you and how do you see it in you and how you express it in your art?? (Just a young queer artist who wants some light shined upon them 🥺)

i 'unno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[its-tortle]

can i ask about the captain america bachelor's thesis and the score you got for it

hi lorelei!! you absolutely may ask me!!

it was called "Steve Rogers and Captain America aren't always the same guy": Captain America Fanfiction as a Locus of Transformation, Identity Exploration, and Reclamation (a bit wordy, i know) and it basically outlined fanfiction conceptually and went into the history of cap as a character and political symbol to then analyze trends in cap fanfiction as forum for identity politics and fan reclamation. i think we stress so many of his identity markers in fandom that are played down or straight up erased in source material (esp the mcu) and i wanted to elaborate on the possible reasons for and effects of that. it was a lot of fun.

and i got a dutch 9/10!! which translated to an american A+ on my transcript, which is a bit crazy. i was lucky to have a super lovely and supportive thesis advisor :)

i can send it to you if you're interested!

[dayurno]

[blackpaws-fr]

I may be cooking something up, just for the fun of it.