#this year entertainment deserves a pedestal

[purplemoonabove]

By tomorrow, it would be two weeks since I’ve saw s2. The fact that it’s been in my mind so long as me watching both The Little Mermaid and Across The Spider Verse shows just how good, emotionally wrecking, and memorable it is — for me as both a fantasy fan and a writer, who wants to create stories that would have people this attached to

[mochinomnoms]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Congrats on 1k followers Mochi (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡ you so so so so deserve it. You always make me smile when I see your posts so I hope you have fun writing them.

If I might make a request, could I have Jade, Trey, and Ace with a romantic prompt 16 (“I won't lose you again.”)? I want to see them cry a lot just a tiny bit. Feel free to let the vibes guide you, I trust it will be very good.

-Yuri

jade leech, trey clover, ace trappola (separate) x gn!reader [tags] — angst in Ace's, hurt in Trey's, humor in Jade, implied time loop theory [wc} - 1,000+ each prompt 16: “I won't lose you again.” song: Be, Talk (Hozier, “Wasteland, Baby!”), Francesca (Hozier, “Unreal Unearth”) note - @yuri-is-online got it! went a lil wild cause I got massive inspo lmao. Also, let me know if yall can guess the anime I got inspired from with Ace's francesca (1k event)

“Be like the love that discovered the sin (Lover, be good to me) / That freed the first man and will do so again / And, lover, be good to me (Lover, be good to me)”

There were several things that caught Jade Leech’s attention during his life, but only a few kept his attention, after which he’d abandon his ‘toy’. Fungi, mountains, and poisonous flowers, were exceptions, to name a few. He had to admit to himself (and only himself) that there was one thing that revolved in his mind all this time later, dug deep into his brain like the mycelium of his beloved mushrooms in the forest floor. 

One. Thing. You. The funny little human from the broken down dorm. The funny little human with not a single ounce of magic in their veins. The cute little human that was captivated by his merform, an entirely foreign concept to them. The sweet little human with the even sweeter crush on him all throughout his second and third years. 

Perhaps it was cruel of him to entertain your affections with no real desire to follow through on them. Actually, scratch that, it was cruel of him to do so. It was just so…interesting to him at the time. He grew alongside his brother and Azul, none of them exactly being the most sought after during their childhood or teens. They were feared, each of them for multiple reasons, not exactly prime boyfriend material, despite some of their attempts to curate a specially crafted facade. 

Yet, you were so bewitched by him, enthralled, beguiled, and dare he say lovesick with him despite all the signs screaming “DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!” So please, forgive him for shamelessly flirting, and finding entertainment in your reactions. 

The dilated pupils as he leaned down to make eye contact. The sharp intakes when he cornered you against a library shelf, nonchalantly reaching for a random book. The shiver down your spine as he would lean over in class to whisper some nonsense in your ear regarding the class. All for the sole purpose to see you blush a pretty color and get flustered. Not for the jump in his heart at the thought of being revered so sweetly, or a potential lover being so good to him. 

It was just a bit of fun. That’s all it was. That’s all it was meant to be, when he finally left for his internship his third year. He paid no mind to the wistful look on your face as he gave his goodbyes, nor the strange creak in his heart at the sight.

Jade Leech was all he’s always been, and all he will ever be: a man that left his toys once they ceased to interest him.

Which is why he loathed that he’s been unable to remove you from his mind. Though, did he really? It wasn’t annoyance or hate, but an aching yearning that resided in his being. Jade spent many months tossing and turning in bed as he dreamt of you: shy smiles, soft eyes, and sweet words. He wanted, he needed to be free from this love-struck feeling, this infatuation. It was dragging him down from his finely constructed pedestal, like a sin striking an angel down from heaven. 

Yet, coming back to campus now, presenting his internship research at the end of the year, Jade found himself strangely content with the concept as he watched you. You’d taken on your role at NRC quite beautifully, and were the object of affection for many admirers, much to his dismay. Currently, you were attending to visitors, directing them to their destinations and helping the fourth years find their old clubs and friends, while he admired from around the corner.  

You were as you’ve always been, sweet, cute, and clueless to your surroundings as he stalked closer until he was behind you, leaning down until his lips inched close to your ear. 

He purred breathlessly into your ear, “Oh Prefect~ Is that you, my dear?” Jade didn’t miss the shudder that flew up your spine as you jumped away in shock. 

“EEP! W-what the—” You whipped your head around to berate the man before realizing who it was. “Oh, jeez, Jade! You’re back—why’d you do that?!”

The tall man chuckled as he straightened to his normal height. Oh, how he missed you. And your reactions, of course. 

“I simply missed your delightful expressions, you always have been rather reactive with me, haven’t you?”

“What—nooo. I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Huffing, you crossed your arms and jerked your gaze away in irritation. At least, it would be if not for the blush on your cheeks. 

“Fuhuhuh, that blush suggests otherwise.” A giddy feeling filled his chest as Jade inched closer to you, in which you backed away. This continued until he managed to corner you against the stone way of the hallway. 

“This is a familiar sight, is it not?” Jade cooed as he leaned down again, a hand reaching to caress your cheek. “I did miss you, didn’t you—”

A smack. Jade blinked in surprise as his hand was thrown back by your own. Now you looked more annoyed than flustered. 

“I’m sure you did.” You hissed sarcastically, narrowing your gaze at him. “Ha! Please, more like missed messing with me. If you really missed me, you’d’ve called or messaged me like the others in our class. Even Azul checked up on me!”

Jade…hadn’t been aware of that. He’s been too into his own head, reliving memories with you that it hadn’t occurred to him that you’d actually might lose affection for him. 

The thought made him a little sick. 

He pouted, taking your chin in his hand to tilt your head up to his. “Is that so? Please forgive me for my most egregious sin. I don’t wish to lose you again.”

“Hmph, again?” You made a sound of offense. Despite your words, you still looked up at Jade with a  shy gaze, eyes darting down to his lips every so often. 

You never had me in the first place.” You scoffed, trying to avert your blushing gaze, though he kept a firm grip, moving to squeeze your cheeks into a pucker.  

Jade chuckled, “Your previous actions say otherwise, though I am quite a fool for not taking what was mine in the first place.”

“Y-yours?! You-you-you can’t just say things like that—eep!” You let you a deliciously cute squeak, which he swallowed up as he stole a kiss. 

“Now, now my little lover, be good to me and let me revel in your affections, I’ve derived myself from them for far too long now, have I not?”

And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice / Imagine being loved by me / I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) / All the things I would do

He wasn’t sure why he had any faith in Crowley to get you back home. Really, that’s on him for thinking the headmage would put any work into your return home. If Trey had known that you’d still be here in Twisted Wonderland, years after his graduation, he wouldn’t have ever broken up with you. 

Granted, it hadn’t exactly been his choice in the first place, as you had abruptly ended the relationship towards the end of his fourth year. Told him to enjoy his life without you weighing him down, despite his insistence that you’d do no such thing. 

Trey finally relented when you told him that you had a world, a family, a home (without him) to get to. Somewhere you belonged, somewhere that wasn’t with him. 

It hurt, yes, knowing that you were never really meant to be with him in the first place. It was simply by magical chance that you were plucked from your world to turn his own upside down. Likewise, it was simply by chance that you and him got together to steal and eat his heart, leaving him almost an empty shell of himself. 

So it was a surprise to see you at Riddle’s wedding, of all places, dressed up in a pretty green outfit as you giggled with some bridesmaids. Seven, you looked good, the fabric hugging all the right spots. Maybe he was being a bit delusional, but Trey swears that the green of your outfit matched the color of his hair, and he had a small possessive streak pass through him at the thought. If it wasn’t for Cater pinching his arm, Trey would be sure that he was in a dream. 

“Ow! Cater!” Trey hissed, rubbing his arm as the strawberry-blonde smirked at him. Cater’s hair was longer now, but he kept his signature style from school still. 

“Go on, talk to them.” Cater nudged him with his elbow, gesturing to you. “I know you want too~”

Trey huffed, watching the liquid in his cup as he swirled his punch. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“Oh, come on!” Cater whined, latching on to Trey’s arm. 

“We didn’t end on good terms.”

Cater countered, “You didn’t end on bad ones either.”

“Hmph.” Trey clicked his tongue, eyeing you from the corner of his eye. Your hair had grown longer, and was dyed. It looked nice on you.

Still leaning against Trey, Cater pouted before a mischievous look passed over his face as he leaned in to whisper in Trey’s ear. 

“Besides, I heard they’ve stayed single since being with you.”

“…” A sigh. “Really?”

“Totes, so you really ought to go make a move before that blonde dude does, though it doesn’t look like he’s having much luck.”

Finally deciding to look up, Trey noticed your uncomfortable expression as the guy twirled a strand of your hair with his fingers. Despite being known for being rather mild-mannered, a handful of your mutual friends knew the truth: Trey had a nasty jealous streak where you were concerned. 

He wasn’t sure when or how he got across the room, but Trey was suddenly hovering over you and the blond man, hazel eyes piercing his back. Surprise flitted your features as a hand was offered to you, along with a familiar. 

“Sorry, hope I’m not interrupting.” Trey had to withhold a smug smirk as he saw your eyes light up at the sight of him. “But would you mind sharing a dance?”

You eagerly nodded, taking his hand and mumbling a half-hearted apology to the other man as Trey guided you to the dance floor, filled with couples sharing a dance to the latest love song. 

His hands rested on the familiar curve of your waist as your arms wrapped around his neck, hesitating before finally settling your hands on the back of his neck. The two of you swayed to the music, a surprisingly comfortable silence between you two. Honestly? It was as if you two never broke up, with how your bodies curled into each other, heart-to-heart.

Yet, neither one of you seems willing to start the conversation he was begging to have.

“… You look beautiful—”

“You look wonderful—” 

Both of you opened your mouths at the same time, interrupting each other before sharing a giggle.

“Sorry, sorry. You go first.”

Trey shook his head. “No, go ahead.”

You smiled, something soft and a bit sad, before looking him up and down. “You look good, got stockier. The bakery’s got you working hard, hm?”

“Ha, yeah. It has, what…about you?”

Your lips thinned, as you looked away. “Still at NRC with Grim, we teach the new Beast-tamer curriculum. It’s…fun.”

Silence fell over you two again, the elephant in the room hanging between you two.

“You’ve been here, all this time, then?”

You nodded, a sliver of shame passing over your features. 

“He never did find me a way home after we…you know…”

Trey sharply inhaled, tightening his grip and rubbing soothing circles as he nodded. “Yeah…why didn’t you…tell me. Why didn’t you come back?” He left out the ‘to me.’

You stopped dancing, making him stumble slightly as he watched your face intently, heart aching at the tears growing in your eyes. 

 “I—” Trey watched as you swallowed a lump in your throat, voice shaky. “—I felt so bad that you’d spent your time and energy on being with me when I might not even stay, so I wanted you to go off and live life. But then, he never did find me a way back, and I realized that I just pushed you away, and I just couldn’t face you—”

You broke into sobs, burying your face into his chest as Trey led you away from the dance floor. He managed to pull you into a secluded hallway, one for the staff to enter in and out of the kitchen. Trey held you close as he rubbed your back, resting his cheek on the top of your head as you rested into the crook of his neck.

“I-I'm sorry… I shouldn't be…” You were sniffling, letting out little hiccups as you spoke. “—crying like this… I'm not trying to make you… feel bad… I just… I should go…”

As you moved to pull away, Trey tightened his grip, hand reaching up to caress your cheek as you looked up at him with watery eyes. You were as beautiful as the day you left him, tears streaking your makeup and all. 

“Don’t, please, I—” Trey sighed, resting his forehead against yours. “I won’t lose you again. I missed you so much, please, stay?”

You nodded, still sniffling, as you moved to kiss the palm holding your cheek. “I missed you too, but aren’t you mad at me? For not coming back?”

Trey shook his head, smiling softly at you. Whatever anger he had was immediately forgiven at the sight of you before him. He couldn’t care less about the last few years, as long as he had you back in his arms again. 

“As long as I can have you back in my arms, the past is forgiven. As long as…you’ll have me?”

The two of you shared another sweet smile, leaning into each other to press your lips in a soft, fleeting kiss. The type of kiss you give when you can’t tell the difference between a dream and reality. Cater’s quick photo of you two lovers would later help cement that fact that this was reality. 

It’s a week later that Trey has that exact same picture set as his home and lock screen.

I'd tell them, "Put me back in it" (Da-ah, darlin') / I would do it again (Ah-ah, ah-ah) / If I could hold you for a minute (Da-ah, darlin') / I'd go through it again (Ah-ah, ah-ah)

It’s all dark. It’s always dark until the moment Ace opens his eyes and the coffin opens. Ace goes through the orientation ceremony, only to have it interrupted by you stumbling into the Mirror Chamber, an energetic and egotistical Grim demanding to take your spot. 

It’s dark in the cave that he goes into with you two and Deuce to collect the new chandelier magistone. You're screaming, he’s screaming, so are Deuce and Grim. It’s a shit show, even before Riddle comes to drag him and Deuce back to the dorm. 

It’s dark when he makes the trek to your dorm after being collared. Grumbling about just wanting a snack, about Riddle’s unnecessary rage, and about who the hell can remember all 810 rules. It’s light, though, that he sees when you open the door to Ramshackle, the warm, old lightbulbs from the hallway creating a halo around you. 

It’s light again, in the morning as the sun filters through the broken window, you poking him awake to get to class.

Ace has never been one to get sentimental, the idea of love is frightening, to be frank. But looking at you again, light curtaining your features, he was reminded why he did what he did. 

Why he punched Riddle for his outburst and insults to you. 

Why he threw himself into the fight against Leona as he threatened to turn you to sand. 

Why he let himself get “tricked” by Azul again and again, get beaten up by the twins under the sea again and again. Why he tried to run back to school to your rescue, only to be too late again and again. Why he endured the embarrassment of losing the SDC. 

He’d hoped that this time he’d be able to avoid getting into a coma from the S.T.Y.X. Charon robots again, but he had no luck, so you once again had to depend on Rook and Epel getting you through the Isle of Woe. Maybe he should’ve focused on getting Grim back after scratching you, or maybe just prevented him from eating all the blot stones, then you wouldn’t have been in this mess. 

It might have prevented Malleus’s own blot, though Ace wasn’t really sure what led to his spiraling. It was probably a combination of a lot of information, as it was with the rest of the blots. Either way, he’d been hoping that preventing Grim from eating the 8th blot stone would’ve prevented this. 

Ace wouldn’t know though, as he’s been through this year at least 4 times now. Trying to prevent what he’s slowly starting to believe is inevitable.  

He’s replayed your deaths over and over in his brain. The first one that happened, he was upset for losing a friend, but probably would’ve gotten over it. It sounds harsh, but that was the reality of the situation. 

After the second loop, Ace started noticing you more. Things he missed out on the first time. The way you smiled, the way you walked, the way you tugged on your shirt when you were nervous. It was cute. 

It was his third loop that he started noticing little things. How you liked to grab on to his arm when it got too crowded. How you always made an effort to help him in class, despite having to catch up with nearly 2 decades of curriculum just to understand the professors. He noticed how you’d blush whenever he’d make flirty jokes. 

It was his fourth, and current, loop that he really started to view you differently. That he started to view these second, third, and fourth chances as a way to keep you safe. To not lose you again. 

You were always helping him, despite the stress he caused you. Every time you’d let him crash in your dorm, eventually convincing you to let him share at least your room. He’d be up, tossing and turning as he watched your sleep. He wasn’t trying to be creepy, but seeing you take your whole situation in stride, every overblot, every condescending comment, every shenanigan Grim, Deuce, and him really made Ace think about why he was doing this. 

Was it because he felt bad? No, it certainly wasn’t the first time, anyway. Was it because he liked having you around? Kinda, maybe a little. Was it because every time he’d ask you why you got involved with all the drama at school, you’d answer with a shrug, a smile, and simply answer “I gotta protect my friends, as best I can anyway.” That was probably partially the reason.

He thinks the reason he’s so desperate to make sure you stay around is because of the promise you made with him the first loop around: “If I can’t go home, let’s always stick together! I like you, and you like me, so we can support each other every way we can.”

You’d made this promise, in one form or another, every loop.

“Promise we’ll stay friends, even after graduation! I wanna stick by my first friend’s side!”

“Ace? Do you actually promise to take care of me? I know I’m a pain, no magic and all, but I’ve taken care of you in my own way, do you really promise to do the same?”

It was his fourth time watching you live your year in Twisted Wonderland. And it’s then that it clicked for him: he was falling deep into love with the magicless Prefect that cared way too much for others, and much too little for themselves. 

“Ace…” you gasped, a bloodied hand reaching out for him as an overblotted Grim made a rampage throughout the Mirror Chamber. He could hear the others screaming, magic being cast, and a distinct yowl from Grim as Riddle launched another fire spell at him. 

Ace cringed as the giant direbeast that was once his little fiery friend screamed in pain, running around until he tripped and fell through where there was once a wall. Grim let out an eerie, inhuman scream as he fell, a sickening crunch echoing as he landed on the stone ground. For the fourth time, Grim was gone. But that didn’t matter, not when he was watching you die for the fourth time. 

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey I’m here.” Ace had managed to crawl over to you, clasping your hand with his own. He rested your head on his lap as you coughed, red liquid leaving your mouth as you did. 

“No, nononononono—you’re fine!” Ace hyperventilated as he looked over your battered body. He was sure that he had prevented Grim from eating Vil’s blot stone. Was that not the reason he turned into this? Did he only need to eat a few before turning into a monster? He was so confident that he’d managed to keep you safe. So why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy—

“Ace.” He froze as you murmured his name, your other hand reaching for his cheek, wiping away the tears he didn’t realize he was leaving. 

“Ace, promise me you’ll stay with me? I don’t want to be alone right now…” you hiccuped as you started crying, curling into his chest as Ace cradled you. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t help! I was so useless, so useless to let Grim get to this point. So useless as a friend, I’m so sorry!”

Ace curled into you, ignoring the voices from behind you two, no doubt the other students coming to the realization that you’d be grievously harmed. 

“I’ll stay with you, I’m always with you.” Ace shuddered. He felt like throwing up. “I’m going to try again, I won’t be too late this time. I’ll make sure to keep you safe this time. I won't lose you again.”

Ace ignored the person shaking his shoulder as he watched you hyperventilate, before your breathing slowed and eventually stopped. He ignored the surprised cries as magic swirled around him, as he activated his signature spell for the fifth, and hopefully final time:

With a flick of the wand, a rhythm sublime,

Reverse The Clock, turn back the chime,

No time to say 'Hello', goodbye!

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

It’s all dark. It’s always dark until the moment Ace opens his eyes and the coffin opens for the fifth time.

comments and reblogs appreciated 🩷

[onemustalwaysbecarefulofbooks]

Why I Dislike Rhysand, Part 1: Not a Martyr Like You Think

So. . this rant has been a long time coming. I finally came to the conclusion that it would be too much to include all in one post. There are so many different things I feel the need to touch on and include that I decided I’m going to be breaking it up. Enjoy Part 1. 

I also feel the need to start off by saying that I’ve been an SJM reader for nearly ten years now. I remember when ACOTAR first came out. I remember reading ACOMAF upon its release and nearly being blown over by my intense disgust and dislike for how a story was handled. ACOMAF was released in 2016, so I’ve been holding on to a lot of this for the better part of seven years. I don’t know how many of you were a part of the ACOTAR or SJM community here on Tumblr back in those days but let me tell you. . .it was something else. The fevered Rhysand obsession and worship was WILD. The fans were CUT THROAT and had no mercy. If you even HINTED at the fact that you felt like Rhys was not All That, they came for you and they came hard. I have never been one to engage in ridiculous arguments with strangers on the internet so I kept most of my feelings to myself. It’s giving me immense satisfaction and validation to see so many people begin to express things that are so like minded with how I feel. Keep fighting the good fight!

SO! We’re going to dive deep with this and go back to before the series chronologically even started. 

A huge part of why I so strongly dislike Rhysand is that I find it very hard to sympathize with him regarding his time UTM. 

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, I realize that that sentence alone is enough to cause a lot of people to click away from this in disgust immediately. I challenge those people to keep reading and to hear me out. I try and make it a point to back everything I have to say with canon facts and logical sense. One of the fatal (or perhaps not so fatal) flaws I have as a reader is that 99% of the time, I am not able to just let things go and absorb them at face value for the sake of an entertaining story. You can sell me just about anything and I’ll be able to find some enjoyment in it. . .if it makes sense. If something exists in a scenario that is contradictory or just plain illogical, I tend to fixate on it and not be able to let it go (I call this the Ravenclaw in me). Sometimes I almost resent that I’m like this because I feel like it prevents me from just having a good time with literature, but for better or worse, this is the kind of reader I am. 

Unfortunately, the ACOTAR series, specifically many things that have to do with Rhys and the Inner Circle, are riddled with things like this. Now, it’s no secret to any SJM reader that Sarah J Maas is OBSESSED with Rhys and the Inner Circle. Like. . .OBSESSED. I’ve truly never seen anything like it from an author. She so plainly and clearly holds these characters on pedestals and believes them to be the best of the best. She also so plainly and clearly works very hard to try and get the readers to feel the same way. This is why I say that SJM is one of the most confusing and frustrating authors I’ve ever read about. She clearly feels this way and wants US to feel this way. So you’d think, if that was her end goal, that she would simply just write characters who really ARE the best of the best and deserve to be on pedestals. Easy, right? She has total control over the actions, thoughts, and words of these characters, every other character, the plot, the narrative, the direction of the entire story. So just. . .write them as being perfect saintly beings, as you so clearly view them as?? You have the power to do this?

But here’s where the confusing and frustrating part comes in: She doesn’t.

Instead of giving us these characters who truly ARE as virtuous and amazing and wonderful as she thinks they are, she instead gives us characters who do horrific, selfish, and highly questionable things across the span of the series and then gaslights her readers by continuing to hold these characters on pedestals and laud them as being The Best In Every Way. . .while their atrocious deeds are sitting RIGHT THERE on the page being completely ignored in every way. It’s one of the most unaware and bizarre things I’ve ever witnessed from an author and honestly, from a group of readers. The amount of people who just blindly accept anything SJM says as Gospel is wild to me. I really don’t understand how people just swallow this stuff and can’t see it for what it is. Open your mind to just an ounce of critical thinking and I really do believe you’ll begin to see things in a new way. 

So. . .my point in all that being: SJM clearly wanted us to have a ton of sympathy for Rhys from his ordeal with Amarantha and his time UTM. The scene is set perfectly! Valiant and selfless Rhysand volunteers himself to play Amarantha’s whore in order to keep her attention from the city and the people Rhys loves so much. He lives for 50 years having to “service” a psychotic evil woman who actively tries to bring destruction to his entire country. Horrible, right??? Unthinkable. What he went through!!! What he had to do!!! No one has a selfless heart like he does!!!!

The only problem is. . .this entire scenario has a million holes in it. Let’s explore some of them. 

So, when Amarantha returns to Prythian, Rhys heads to her little party without any backup from the IC. He plans to kill Amarantha himself but of course, she tricks all the High Lords and captures their power before this can happen. 

Sidenote: This is another thing I can’t stand about Rhysand’s power: We are told over and over and over that he is THE MOST powerful High Lord not just of the seven current High Lords, but in all of Prythian’s HISTORY. In the High Lord’s meeting during ACOWAR (top contender for my least favorite scene of the entire series), Feyre says: 

The others, who had been watching with disdain and amusement and boredom, now turned to my mate. Now possessed a shadow of fear in their eyes as they realized who and what, exactly, sat amongst them. 

Brethren, and yet not. Tamlin was a High Lord, as powerful as any of them.

Except for the ones at my side. Rhys was as different from them as humans were to Fae. 

Okay, first of all:

Second of all. . .once again, we are faced with SJM’s convenient Whatever-I-Need-To-Happen-Will-Happen story telling. She claims that Rhys is as different from all the other High Lords as humans are to fae. And despite this, he still gets tricked and overtaken by Amarantha, the exact same as all the rest of them. His powers were ripped away by that spell just the same as all the others. Being the so-called “Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s History” didn’t mean anything in that situation. He’s the mOSt POwerfUL HiGH LOrd iN HiSTORy, but was able to be totally overtaken by Amarantha just like everyone else. Looks like that title really should have gone to HER!

Anyway. . .as Rhys feels his powers being ripped away, we are told that in desperation, he “threw the shield around Velaris”, binding it to my friends so that they had to remain or risk that protection collapsing and used the last dregs to tell them mind to mind what was happening and to stay away”. 

What a noble sacrifice right??

INCONSISTENCY ALERT: There were ALREADY spells and protections hiding Velaris and there had been for years!!!!!! 

The first time I read Rhys’s explanation of this, I was super confused. SJM tells it like he was the one who created Velaris’s shield and protection right there in this moment. That this act was the only thing that kept it hidden and safe from Amarantha. But like. . .this is not the case!!!! 

Don’t believe me??

“Did you even think for one moment,” I said, my voice like gravel, “to extend that luck to anywhere else? Anyone else?”

“Other cities,” he said calmly, “are known to the world. Velaris has remained secret beyond the borders of these lands for millenia. Amarantha did not touch it because she did not know it existed. None of her beasts did. No one in the other courts knows of its existence, either.”

“How?”

“Spells and wards and my ruthless, ruthless ancestors, who were willing to do anything to preserve a piece of goodness in our wretched world.”

(ACOMAF, page 144)

The Velaris Wiki page states:

To preserve it, an ancient High Lord kept Velaris a secret, and so did his descendants. There are many spells on the city itself—laid by him, and his heirs, that make those who trade here unable to say anything about the city and possess the skill to convincingly lie in order to keep the origin of their goods and ships, hidden from the rest of the world. Rumor has it that an ancient High Lord doused his blood upon the stones and river to keep that spell eternal. 

And then in ACOMAF, we get:

“I used the remainder of my power to shield them all from sight and sound. I had only enough for one city--one place. I chose the one that had been hidden from history already. I chose, and now must live with the consequences of knowing there were more left outside who suffered. But for those here. . .anyone flying or traveling near Velaris would see nothing but barren rock, and if they tried to walk through it, they’d find themselves suddenly deciding otherwise. And because my powers were focused on shielding them all, Feyre, I had very little to use against Amarantha.”

So, which is it?? Did your ancestors shield and protect Velaris or did you?? 

Do you see the contradictory writing here? 

Again, in ACOMAF:

“You are safe here, and safe anywhere in this city, for that matter. Velaris’s walls are well protected and have not been breached in 5,000 years.”

According to what Sarah J Maas herself has written, the city of Velaris already had extensive wards and protection on it for millennia. The city had been a safe haven from the rest of the world and a complete secret for 5,000 years. So I was very confused as to why it was being made out to be that Rhys made this Grand Ultimate Sacrifice to shield the city and its inhabitants from Amarantha, when this was already the case before this. She wouldn't have touched it because she didn’t know about it. . .words from Rhys’s own mouth!!!! 

I’m sure in Sarah’s mind, she just needed to make a way for the IC to not come after Rhys and try and help him, so this is what she came up with. Regardless. . .Velaris already had protection on it that did not rely on Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Amren. You’re saying that with the last shreds of his power, Rhysand undid centuries old ancient blood protection of his ancestors, created an entirely NEW foolproof protection plan, and bound it to the Inner Circle?? 

I’d also like to point out that Kallias, High Lord of Winter, did essentially the same thing with Viviane and the Winter Court. 

And in those last moments, when his power was ripped from him by that spell. . .Kallias had flung out the remnants to warn her. To tell Viviane he loved her. And then he begged her to protect their people.

So she had. 

As Mor and my friends had protected Velaris, Viviane had veiled and guarded the small city under her watch, offering safe harbor to those who made it. 

(ACOWAR, pages 410-411)

These situations are exact parallels of each other. Kallias and Rhysand couldn’t protect their entire courts, but they were able to throw shields and protections around the one city where their loved ones were. The Winter Court was ravaged by Amarantha’s troops, we know this from the story. But evidently, this one city where Viviane was remained protected. And in this situation, I have infinitely more respect for Kallias than I do for Rhysand.

Rhysand claimed he became Amarantha’s whore in order to keep enemies from looking too closely at who he really was and who he loved. He serviced her in bed and committed atrocious deeds in her name for 50 years. All this, he claimed, to protect Velaris and his loved ones. 

So please explain to me how Kallias was able to do the same thing. . .WITHOUT doing Amarantha’s dirty work. 

As I said, I know fully well that the Winter Court in general was not spared by Amarantha. We all read about the children who had their minds wiped (conveniently by some OTHER daemati who we never learn about or hear about ever again). It sounds like Amarantha tried her hardest to destroy the Court in general. But remember. . .the Night Court is not exclusively Velaris. If you look at the map of Prythian, the Night Court is huge! It’s the largest of all the Courts. We have no idea what happened to the rest of the Night Court that was outside of Velaris’s protection. Since it’s such a big deal that Velaris is such a whole, untouched city, I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that it probably wasn’t spared any more than the rest of Prythian was. So it stands to reason that both the Night Court and the Winter Court had one city that remained protected while the rest of their Court was destroyed.

Even further than that. . .it is specifically stated that Viviane offered shelter and protection to anyone who made it to that protected city where she was. Kallias begged her to protect their people and she did. It was a city of safe haven for any refugees who could make it there. (Viviane was Prythian’s first High Lady and that’s the tea). 

Rhysand KNEW what was happening all throughout Prythian during this time. . .he helped partake in it!!! Did he think to offer the same protection for innocent refugees in Velaris during this time??

We all know the answer.

I’m not saying that Rhys was obligated to do this. In a horrible situation like that, I’m sure many people would enter survival mode and adapt an “every man for himself” mindset. It’s an extremely Slytherin move to make, and I don’t really mean that in a bad way. But at the end of the day, Rhysand prioritized his friend group over every innocent citizen of Prythian. 

Kallias and Viviane didn’t do that. 

Again, I don’t entirely blame Rhysand for this!! I think a lot of people would have made the same decision!! But just. . .don’t ask me to act like Rhys’s decision was some grand ultimate sacrifice that was more than any other High Lord made. It’s not. SJM, if you want Rhys to be my fave, why are you putting characters in here like K and V who do the more noble and honorable thing?? 

Kallias didn’t have mind powers where he was able to erase the knowledge of Viviane from every one UTM who knew about her as Rhys did with the Inner Circle. There weren’t already extensive, centuries-old shields and protection guarding the city that she was in. And despite this, he STILL asked her to protect their people, and she kept the city open for refugees who could make it there. AND he remained true to his cause and didn’t do Amarantha’s dirty work for her to “keep people from looking too closely”. 

And yet Feyre and everyone else tell us constantly that “no one sacrificed as much” as Rhys. Yeah, no. My respect for Kallias and Viviane is 10000000x greater than Rhysand. Sorry, not sorry. 

And this leads me to my next point. 

One of the biggest issues I have with Rhys’s time UTM in general, is that his actions are treated by the narrative and the other characters as the MOST sacrificial out of all the High Lords. 

As I’ve expressed above, I do not buy this for one second. And I actually find it pretty insulting on behalf of all the other High Lords!!

Rhysand’s choices and actions were entirely self-serving. He did nothing to fight against Amarantha or protect citizens of Prythian in general. It was entirely about his city and his friends. Again, I’m not saying I condemn him for this! It was a horrible situation and this was what he chose to do. People do crazy things for the people they love. But that’s my point. . .it was a CHOICE. He CHOSE to “service” Amarantha. He CHOSE to do her dirty work and commit atrocious deeds in her name. And every choice he made protected no one but the people who were important to HIM. So I’m just not really sure how/why I’m expected to feel the greatest amount of sympathy for HIM, over the other High Lords, many of whom stayed in open rebellion and never aided Amarantha. How easy would it have been for any of the other High Lords to attempt the same thing he did, and pretend to sympathize with Amarantha? Maybe not “servicing” her as Rhys did, but pretending to deflect to her side, doing dirty work for her, in order to attempt to spare their Courts and THEIR loved ones??? Did anyone else do this??? NO.

Rhys says he bows for no one but that isn’t true. He bowed for Amarantha. The other High Lords did not. 

The High Lords of Summer, Day, and Winter lost their lives by refusing to submit to Amarantha. (ACOTAR, page 284). 

And I’m supposed to have the greatest amount of sympathy for Rhysand??

People talk about how horrible it was for Rhys during those 50 years Under the Mountain. I’m not here to say his life was pleasant. But what I AM here to say is that in comparison to what the other High Lords’ lives were like. . .I find it hard to have MORE sympathy for him than the others. 

“If that was what she wanted, then that was what she would get. I made her beg, and scream, and used my lingering powers to make it so good for her that she wanted more. Craved more.”

“For fifty years--whenever I was inside her, I’d think about killing her. She had no idea. None. Because I was so good at my job that she thought I enjoyed it too. So she began to trust me--more than the others. Especially when I proved what I could do to her enemies.”

Rhys is “so good at his job” of killing Amarantha’s enemies (and one assumes that Amarantha’s enemies are, you know, PEOPLE FIGHTING FOR PRYTHIAN AND AGAINST HER OPPRESSION) and so thorough in their sexual acts, that Amarantha begins to trust him. He is allowed certain freedoms that no one else has. He is not trapped for 50 straight years Under the Mountain. In ACOTAR alone, we see him visit the Spring Court three different times. Do you think any of those other High Lords saw daylight even once during those 50 years?? 

He is clearly allowed to move about as he wants to Under the Mountain. He visits Feyre in her cell several times, seemingly without Amarantha knowing. She is a prisoner of Amarantha, but he’s allowed to do whatever he wants to and with her. 

Essentially. . .Rhys lived as a member of Amarantha’s court UTM. He served as her fuck buddy and one of her main attack dogs. To our knowledge he wasn’t tortured, starved, or forced to watch, powerless, as someone or something he loved was dangled over him. High Lords were losing their lives living in open rebellion against Amarantha, while Rhys lived with a level of security that no one else had. I am NOT saying that servicing Amarantha was pleasant for him, obviously it wasn’t. But at the end of the day. . .this was a choice he made. Everyone makes choices and has consequences of those choices. Rhys chose to serve Amarantha in bed and was given a position of power and security that no one else had. The other High Lords chose to openly oppose and resist her and subsequently had to suffer and live in terror with none of the freedom or choices Rhys was given. I honestly fail to see how Rhys’s decision was more valiant than all the rest. 

Again, this is NOT me trying to say that Rhys did not suffer at all UTM. I completely acknowledge that he suffered his own type of torment. I just get very sick and tired of him being treated as if he is the Greatest, Most Suffering, and Only Martyr in all of Prythian. 

I often say that Sarah writes all of these characters and this entire story in a way that elevates and favors Rhysand, even if in doing so she has people saying and doing things that make absolutely no logical sense. Everything that happens after UTM is a prime example of this. 

The fact that the other Courts and High Lords are so quick to trust Rhysand and work so closely with him after the events of UTM is downright ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense. All of them have EVERY reason to be extremely mistrustful, if not openly hostile to him, after what they witnessed for 50 years. I myself do not understand most of his actions during ACOTAR. Let’s dive into all of THAT.

I made a post separately on this, but I’ll still comment on it here. Rhys claims that he “thought” about killing Amarantha the entire time he worked for her. However, he claims:

“I couldn’t use my powers to harm her, and she had shielded herself against physical attacks”.

There’s nothing I hate more than contrived convenient story-telling. To me, this is on the same level as Feyre not being able to have a C-section in ACOSF. We need it to be true, so we’re just going to say it’s true. . .no matter how little sense it makes in this context. 

Rhys says that he, the most powerful High Lord ever born, had his power ripped away by Amarantha. On page 520 of ACOMAF he says, “Within a few seconds, my power belonged wholly to Amarantha”. 

But does it??? Let’s take a look at all the things Rhys is able to do with his power during his time under Amarantha, without her knowledge or consent:

Uses it to enhance the sexual experience between him and Amarantha, making her beg and scream, and crave him (ACOMAF, page 520)

Broke into the minds of the three fae who cornered Feyre on Calanmai, reshaped their lives, their histories, and then made them confess to Amarantha that they were rebels (ACOMAF, page 523)

“Against my violation, my body straightened, every muscle going taut, my bones straining. Magic, but deeper than that. Power that seized everything inside me and took control: even my blood flowed where he willed it.” (ACOTAR, page 239)

“I couldn’t move. An invisible, talon-tipped hand scraped against my mind. And I knew--one push, one swipe of those mental claws, and who I was would cease to exist.” (ACOTAR, page 239)

Broke into Clare Beddor’s mind when she was captured and took away her pain, told her to scream when she was expected to, then finally slipped into her mind and ended her life (ACOMAF, page 524)

Visits Feyre in her cell UTM and heals her shattered arm completely (where was this power to save her from a C-Section???)

Mentally controls and commands the guards to stay out of Feyre’s cell and not touch her. “If you do, you’re to take your own daggers and gut yourselves. Understood?” Dazed, numb nods, then they blinked and straightened. I hid my trembling. Glamour, mind control--whatever it was he had done, it worked. They beckoned--but didn’t dare touch me. (ACOTAR, page 344)

Enters Feyre’s mind to influence and help her during her second task

Convenient storytelling at its finest. He may not have total control over the full extent of his power, but it is abundantly clear that he definitely has control of some of it! And yet we’re told that Rhys is completely unable to do anything to harm or kill Amarantha, because she holds all his power!! It belonged “wholly to her” as he said! But he’s able to do all of this stuff without her knowledge???

Forget killing her with his power!!! Lysandra killed Arobynn Hamel by slitting his throat in the middle of the night! I’m sorry, I do not find it believable that the Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s HISTORY was completely unable to find a way to end this bitch’s life in 50 years, ESPECIALLY when it’s explicitly stated that she allows him certain freedoms and he does things without her knowledge. I just don’t!!!! 

So if I’M thinking that. . .what do you think the rest of the people UTM were thinking??? Can you see how they might be very suspicious of him??

In addition to this. . .his actions regarding Tamlin, and eventually Feyre, make zero logical sense in the context of their situation. Let’s take a look at THAT mess.

So Rhysand is suffering in this horrible awful torment, having to play Amarantha’s whore and do evil things for her. He hates every minute of it, he grows to hate himself, he claims. 

And in this giant mess, there is only ONE road to freedom for not just him, but for everyone. And that’s Tamlin.

“Then she cursed Tamlin. And my other great enemy became the one loophole that might free us all.”

Rhys knows about the curse. He knows the stipulations and what Tamlin must accomplish. He knows that doing so will free them all.

Wouldn't you then think that he would do everything in his power to attempt to aid and assist Tamlin during the course of those 50 years?????

I know he hates Tamlin by that point anyway, due to the rivalry between their families. But, my God. . .would that really matter at this point?? If me and my entire country were stuck in the position Prythian was in, I don’t really think I’d give a shit who our freedom depended on. It could be my greatest mortal enemy and I’m pretty sure I’d still be like Okay Buddy, let’s do this. I wouldn't say I’d LIKE it. But I’d use whoever I could to get me and everyone else out of that situation. 

If Rhysand, the Inner Circle, Velaris, and every other High Fae in Prythian’s lives and futures depended on Tamlin getting a human girl to fall in love with him, I would think Rhysand would be doing whatever he possibly could to further this along and make it happen. Don’t try and say that he couldn’t do it because Amarantha would find out. Rhys WAS able to keep secrets from her and do things she didn’t know about (see my big list up there! ^^) Don’t try and say that he wouldn't risk dropping his Bad Guy Mask because it would make people look “too closely” at him and possibly target Velaris and the IC (I would have a million comebacks to that. As I’ve already said, there were ALREADY extensive shields and protections guarding Velaris and had been for years. Rhys had wiped the knowledge of the IC from the minds of everyone who knew about them. And wouldn't the safer, better option for the IC be that the curse was broken??? So if he really wanted to protect them, this was the #1 thing he should be doing!!!!)

When it became clear to us all in ACOMAF that Rhys was not in fact, really a bad guy, the very first thing I immediately wondered was, “If this were the case, why was he not trying to HELP Tamlin all those years???” If that was their one loophole and their one shot at freedom and ending the nightmare they were in, why on EARTH did Rhys spend 50 years bullying, manipulating, and tormenting the ONE PERSON who had a shot at freeing them??!?!?!? 

Rhys tells Feyre in Chapter 54 of ACOMAF:

“I didn’t know. That you were with Tamlin. That you were staying at the Spring Court. Amarantha sent me that day after the Summer Solstice because I’d been so successful on Calanmai. I was prepared to mock him, maybe pick a fight.”

Again, do not tell me that Rhys was a slave to Amarantha so there wasn’t anything he could do. That is NONSENSE. After Calanmai he crafts an entire fabricated story to tell her and brings people he’s mind manipulated into validating what he’s saying. 

Instead of offering Tamlin support, or at the very least, leaving him alone, he chooses to terrorize him and his people. He leaves severed heads on the manor house grounds, taunts Tamlin about the curse, and taunts Lucien about his mother and his dead lover. Listen to what he says to Tamlin and Lucien, before he knows Feyre is there: 

“What a pity that you must endure the brunt of it, Tamlin--and an even greater pity that you’re so resigned to your fate. You might be stubborn, but this is pathetic.”

“Little Lucien. You certainly gave them something to talk about when you switched to Spring. Such a sad thing, to see your lovely mother in perpetual mourning over losing you.”

“She’s already preparing for you. Given your current state, I think I can safely report that you’ve already been broken and will reconsider her offer.”

This is flat out disgusting behavior. This is the man you want me to have sympathy for, to view as the “better man”. Tamlin and Lucien were even greater victims at this point than Rhys was himself. They were running out of time after desperately fighting a losing battle, with the entire weight of Prythian on their shoulders. Rhys’s actions do not make sense. He is digging his own grave by behaving this way. If he wanted himself and everyone to be free so badly, I’m really not sure why he’s going out of his way to mock Tamlin, make his life difficult, and taunt him about not breaking the curse. 

But things don’t stop there! They get even MORE illogical when Feyre enters the picture!!

So once Rhys discovers Feyre’s presence, he immediately picks up on the emotional connection between her and Tamlin. In this situation, I would expect his first reaction to be glee. He didn’t know who Feyre was at that point, other than a girl he’d been dreaming about (and he later reveals that he first believed these dreams meant that she would be the one to save them all). Did anyone really expect Tamlin to break that curse?? Did anyone really expect him to find a human girl with hate in her heart for the Fae and have her fall in love with him?? I don’t think for a minute Amarantha actually believed there was even the slightest chance of this happening, just like she didn’t really believe Feyre had any chance of winning all three of her trials. It’s a mind game, nothing more. But here Tamlin is, on the very brink of meeting the very specific standards set by Amarantha. 

But what does Rhys do? Amp up the dramatics to scare Tamlin into sending Feyre back across the wall, therefore ensuring that the curse will never be broken. 

His reasoning, he tells us in ACOMAF, is:

“I made Tamlin beg--as Amarantha had made me beg, to show him how powerless he was to save you. And I prayed my performance was enough to get him to send you away. Back to the human realm, away from Amarantha. Because she was going to find you. If you broke that curse, she was going to find you and kill you.”

Um. . .if Feyre breaks the curse, that means that Tamlin gets his powers back. If Tamlin gets his powers back, Amarantha is dead. If Tamlin didn’t do it, certainly one of the other High Lords would have. If you’ll recall, Feyre DOES break the curse and when that happens, Amarantha is dead in literally seconds. Her power isn’t brute strength, it’s trickery. She is no match for Tamlin whatsoever. She literally backs away in fear and pleads for her life. It’s not even a close competition!!! She doesn’t get a single scratch on him! 

Now, I will fully admit. . .this was also something I always found kind of dumb on Tamlin’s part as well. It’s seen as this grand act of love that he sends her away and puts her safety before all of Prythian’s but I’ve always been like. . .dude. You were literally A DAY away from getting out of this thing. Tamlin, as a High Lord with his full power returned, really couldn’t shield and protect Feyre in the time it would take him to kill Amarantha? Yes, he wouldn't be able to properly protect her under their current circumstances without any of his real power, but that was the whole point of the curse. . .if Feyre told Tamlin she loved him and meant it, his power would be returned. The way in which he would be able to protect her would not be the same. You’d think at the point they were at, both Tamlin AND Rhysand would be bouncing around like the singing candlestick and clock from Beauty and the Beast trying to woo a confession out of Feyre. Kallias was able to shield Viviane for 50 years while his Court was under direct attack, I have to believe Tamlin could shield Feyre for the very short time it would take him, or any other High Lord, to end Amarantha. 

Rhys later says:

“If there was a shot of freeing us from Amarantha, you were it. I thought. . .I thought the Cauldron had been sending me these dreams to tell me that you would be the one to save us. Save my people.”

So. . .if this were the case, wouldn't it make more sense to just get a happy little “I love you” out of her before the 50 years were up? Tamlin and the High Lord’s powers would return and Amarantha would be “bloody ribbons”, as SJM likes to say, in seconds. Which is exactly what happened. All the struggle and strife of her trials UTM totally avoided!! 

What I’m essentially trying to say here is that most of Rhys’s actions during this time were in direct contradiction to what he claimed he really wanted. If Tamlin was Prythian’s only shot at freedom for all those years, you’d think he would be trying to secretly aid him in some way, or at the very least, not go out of his way to torment him. If Feyre was in Tamlin’s house, clearly in love with him, and the Curse was expiring in one day, you’d think he’d go back to Amarantha and be like “Nope, sorry, nothing to report” and pray the two of them would get it together for the sake of Prythian. 

Essentially, what I’m trying to say here is that I struggle to have a ton of sympathy for Rhys during this time because I feel as if the explanations that are given for his behavior and actions are flimsy and don’t hold up against most arguments. He felt as if he HAD to become Amarantha’s lover and lapdog in order to keep her from figuring things out about his friends and trying to hurt them. . .who were concealed in a city that hadn’t been breached for 5,000 years and the knowledge of them had been wiped from every person who knew them UTM. He “couldn’t” kill or hurt Amarantha because his power belonged “wholly” to her. . .but he was able to use his powers in ways that worked against her without her knowledge or consent about tons of other things. He was so tormented and miserable in his time UTM that he. . .mocked and tormented the one person who had a shot at freeing them all. When he saw that Tamlin was right on the brink of actually breaking the curse he. . .manipulated him into ensuring that it would never be broken. All the while being surrounded by other leaders who did not have the luxury of shielding their loved ones in an anciently protected city, who worked to help all innocent citizens of Prythian, and who were losing their lives over their refusal to submit to an evil tyrant. I have a vastly larger degree of sympathy and respect for these other High Lords than I do with Rhysand. I find Rhys to be either very self-serving, or doing things that seem to directly contradict what he claims he wants. I do not blame any of the High Lords for being wary and mistrustful of him after UTM--it makes perfect sense that they would (but that’s a topic for another section of this rant!). This is a prime example of SJM self-sacrificing through her writing. I can guarantee you I wouldn't feel as strongly about this as I do after hearing it beaten into my head over and over what a noble, selfless, honorable hero Rhys was during this time. I’m sorry, it doesn’t add up to me. Too many holes, too many contradictions. Which, unfortunately, is pretty standard fare when it comes to Rhys.

Remember, this was only Part 1!! Part 2--Why Rhys is actually a terrible High Lord--coming soon! 

[ivoryghostyy]

— meet Cirius

「 image is not mine. it's sourced from pinterest. 」

「 note: look who's back after not posting for idfk how long. but hey, here's a fic, plus a new layout! haha... i have so much to edit, but anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this little idea i've pulled straight out of my ass. man, i could not get it out of my head. so, uh, have fun ig. 'til next time. buh-bye! 」

「 tw: swearing, mentions/implications of violence, threatening, obsession, manipulation, etc. 」

—————————————————————————————————

human emotions are fickle, but for Cirius, they're practically a foreign concept. dull faces accompanied him wherever he went. they would bother him, talk to him, and feign interest. no mask, however, could completely cover the rotting desires humans hide.

it confuses him, really, but what can he do? if they entertain him, then playing along wouldn't hurt anyone. otherwise, he'd probably die of boredom. besides, he has a reputation to keep. lashing out would only destroy his own facade.

university wasn't doing him any good either, despite his well-maintained rank. he's perfect, and every single one of them could see that. they praise him, and they raise him onto a pedestal. it's nothing new, not interesting at all. his eyes don't spare any of them a glance.

so imagine his surprise when he comes across you. it was onky a brief moment—barely even a second—but he saw it. you weren't hidden in a shroud of grey clouds, you were the embodiment of the sun. your eyes sparkled brighter than any gem he had ever seen. and he's seen a lot of gems, so that says a lot.

you're.. different. and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued. how did he miss someone like you? he hummed, a finger tapping the fabric of his sleeve. a new student, perhaps? but why would anyone transfer so late into the year?

you scurried away before he could say anything. ah, he should have atleast gotten your name... but it's alright. his fingers weave through the soft knots of his light pink hair, a cold smile creeping onto his plush lips.

it doesn't take much to find you and your entire history. goodness, he should've found you sooner. you've been living like this for your entire life? you're barely able to keep yourselves afloat. he's exaggerating. the more he learns about you, and the more he watches you, the deeper he falls into the dark pit of obsession.

don't worry, he'll take care of everything. his darling wife deserves the best and only the best, after all. he'll talk to his parents and arrange a dinner with his future family-in-law your parents, throw in a few lies here, a few threats there, and it's smooth sailing towards your engagement.

surely, you'll agree, right? even if you don't, do you really have a choice? anything he wants, he will have. and you? you're no exception.

you pace through the bustling halls, weaving through the chattering human barricades as they march into another boring lecture. contrary to the relaxed pace of these students, however, you're scrambling to reach your own destination: the library.

since you're free for this period, you thought you'd take the time to look around the grand library. really, this is the only reason you tried so hard to get into such a prestigious school. your family wasn't well-off, but earn enough to keep a delicious meal on your plate and a sturdy roof above your head.

the polished doubledoors creak open, and without wasting another second, you're already scanning book-lined shelves. the forgotten book of herbal remedies, the book of lies, 101 ways to hide a body... wait, what?

deciding not to question it, you finally find a good novel to read. to nobody's surprise, it's dark romance because of course it is. happily, you sink into a comfy bean bag this makes me kinda jealous and lose yourself within the pages, ignorant to brown eyes watching your every move.

a shadow looms over you, and you barely have any time to react before you're pulled into a lean chest, arms wrapped securely around your waist.

"wh-"

"there you are, my precious wife!"

your brain is barely processing the situation. what is he talking about? who is he talking about? it takes a around a minute before you've pulled yourself back, landing not-so gracefully onto the bean bag that you were just sitting on a moment before.

"sorry, i think you may have the wrong person," you say, firmly.

you've never seen this man in your life, who the hell does he think he is? what did he call you? his wife? he better be joking. he's either mistaken or insane. probably the latter, hun. he's insanely in love with you.

"how could i mistake you for anyone else?"

and now he's pulling you along to his fancy car, talking about how he'll introduce you to his parents because apparantly, he's already talked to them about the wedding and-

what do you mean he's talked to your parents!? and they didn't tell you anything!? that's because he threatened them with your safety, but you don't have to know that.

the worst part? you left your book at the library!

could it be any worse? yes, it could. after dinner with your supposed parents-in-law, you pull him aside. he's happy to follow you, anticipating anything you have to say. are you excited too? he's already imagining all the fun you'll have together. cuddling with you, holding your hand, going on dates, spending the rest of his life with you-

"i'm sorry, but i'm not marrying you."

"..good joke, honey."

you're not joking? he falls silent. you've already left by the time he came back to his senses, and he's never felt emptier in his life. how do you think this man—someone who had been given everything he could ever need; who could have the whole world served on a silver platter if he asked—will face the rejection of the single person he's genuinely fallen head over heels for?

it's safe to say that his ego is absolutely bruised. don't even get me started on his heart. words cannot describe the world-shattering devestation he felt. no, he wouldn't stand for this. he's never taken no for an answer, and he certainly isn't starting now.

you will be with him, and he doesn't care if he has to shatter your legs just to make sure you never leave. let's hope it never comes to that, though. he quite likes it when you smile, but he supposedly wouldn't mind seeing you cry, either.

within the next few months, it's like the world is crumbling. your parents lose their jobs, your grades are suddenly dropping, you can barely earn enough from your part-time job to keep food on your plates—it's a mess.

you're struggling, and he knows it.

when you're at your lowest point, he'll pay you a visit. pitiful darling, you know he can make it all go away, right? he'll help you. like a demon tempting to grant your deepest, darkest desire.

"shh, don't cry, sweetheart," he'll take care of you.

don't worry, honey, he can make it all go away. it's not difficult to give you back all that he took away. everything you've lost can be placed right back onto your gorgeous little palm.

but at what cost?

your body.

your soul.

your mind.

your everything.

don't you see, honey? he would do anything for you. new clothes? he'll buy the entire mall. need a better house? how about a mansion? want the moon? he'll do his best to get it for you, no questions asked. you could have everything you could ever want and more.

it's a generous offer, lovely. all he asks for, in return, is that you give up. you were his the moment he saw you, and that might have been the biggest mistake of your life.

say yes, honey. it's the only option you have.

[icedsodapop]

I'm not even a fan of Watcher (stop watching years ago) but the amount of outrage I've seen over their latest announcement is 🤡

I feel like the outrage is a direct result of fans lashing out when the web people they've put on pedestal are slightly less than perfect.

That and the outrage also feels partially fueled by bad faith becos the vitriol towards Ryan and Steven I've been seeing? Esp towards Steven?? Maybe you don't deserve entertainment.

[drama-trauma]

THE DEVIL'S TEACHINGS

Warnings: Religious themes, sacrilegious themes, Reader is in a cult of sorts,mentions of devil and God, brief mentions of sacrifices and criminals

The reader worships the devil.This work is not a reflection of my views and is meant purely for entertainment.

You tried. You really did. Growing up you gave many chances to God. You tried believing but couldn't bring yourself too. It was not a matter of ' why would evil still prevail if he existed?' or anything of that sort. It was a matter of believing and worshipping someone you aren't even sure exists.

You believed everyone deserved a chance. You gave God one. It didn't work out. So when a blonde guy clad in the outfit of a priest came upto you , you didn't give it much thought. He gave off the aura of a terrible person. You could tell that much from first glance. He was suspicious. Why would he come upto you of all people on a peaceful day while staring out the bridge? You knew he seemed to be bad news. But you didn't care.

He urged you to give the devil a chance, so you did. You went to his preaching sessions consisting of more people than you expected in a small wore down old Church.The place was in absolute shambles but the people attending didn't seem to mind. They listened to him with such attention that it was surprising.You have seen kids and adults alike fall asleep during the Sundays you went to church when you yourself were a kid. But here they didn't.

At a point you realised that although they worshipped the devil , in their minds they truly worshipped Abaddon , the priest like figure more or less.They saw him as salvation. They saw him as freedom. They saw him as their God. You never understood them. He was quite insane in your opinion. But so were you.

After a couple months, slowly but surely you got to know him better. You came to the realisation that the devil was his escape from this cruel world. The devil promised a world of dreams, hopes and desires. He did not discriminate, for all who believed in him would surely be granted the sweet fruit of temptation.

You've reached a conclusion after about a year that the devil does not reside in a place underground called Hell. For he existed right next to you. To you , the devil was Abaddon. To the people he was their God.

You were sure that he was the devil. No man could look so angelic but be this diabolical in nature except him. He offered sacrifices to the devil. But those who were sacrificed were those referred by others as abusers and criminals.He slaughtered them with a face that was filled with pity. He did not put them down or on a pedestal during their deaths. He simply prayed for salvation. For them. For the people. For you.For him.

At a point you even started liking Abaddon.You started attending all the prayer sessions regularly. You started paying attention to his preachings. You started looking forward to them. You started worshipping the devil. You started worshipping him.

You were sure that Abaddon was the devil. For no man could have such striking scarlet eyes filled with temptation yet be devoid of emotions like his. For no man could be the devil except him.

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

Okay this is the anticipated rant you’ve all been waiting for cause I’m just over it really, yes I’d like to see how this shit ends but am I going to entertain it more? Yes and no. I’m sorry but my favorite characters (LO’s most wanted) are still in the comic and at this point I feel like they’re being held hostage and I want them freed immediately they don’t deserve to be locked up in this social experiment that is the relationship of Persephone and Hades.

The biggest hugest gripe I have with this whole thing is that.. I just don’t get the point of anything leading up to this. What was the point in the whole “Hwades!!! I want indepwendence, I want mwy own life and I want a nwormal relationship!!” speech that Persephone gave us after the Kronos battle? What was the point of after days of Persephone continually trying to remind Hades of her boundaries every single day while being constantly ignored and put on the back burner just so Hades can continue implanting all of his wishes and dreams onto her without even discussing any of it. There was no point in trying to develop that plot line if there wasn’t going to be a plot anyways, it was just incredibly annoying.

This just raises another thing I absolutely despise about their relationship, and I feel like I’m a broken record because I keep saying the same thing over and over again but their relationship is so incredibly stupid. Like I feel like Rachel is just adding “romantic” things in the comic while ignoring the actual context. Persephone has just been crowned Queen of the Underworld which should’ve been a much bigger deal to everyone involved because we don’t know if she’s capable and we don’t even know if she wanted to be queen. Before this she was just the goddess everyone knew and now she’s queen of a whole realm, she’s not a dumb village girl and she has the power to control things now. This should’ve been a much bigger point in the story, why even introduce the fact that she’s queen now when obviously it seems like she doesn’t even care about the title. Why is her first thought getting an apartment? Why is she more worried about shopping than her literal royal duty?? Why is she more concerned with sex rather than being the ruler of the Underworld? That’s like if you fought this intense battle and won just to be made president of the country all in one day, you’re going to feel some changes and there’s gonna be pressure but we don’t even get that from Persephone because she’s too worried about the little things with Hades that they’ve already been doing.

This brings me to my next point, the whole romance thing is so incredibly lackluster and underwhelming and you wanna know why? Because there’s absolutely zero stakes and tension between them. Oh wow, Hades and Persephone got engaged? That’s totally not surprising at all and I’m completely shocked. With the way they treat each other it feels like they were engaged since they’re first meeting. Ever since the start they were familiar with each other despite being total strangers and meeting under disturbing circumstances, they had obvious feelings for each other and displayed it for everyone to see with help from other characters moving them towards each other for that sole reason, when they became “friends” they were still very flirty and physical and having the comfortability that you would have with your partner of 8 years. You see what I’m getting at? In no point in time was there ever a question if their relationship was ever going to develop or become anything more than flirting and fluff and that’s just so incredibly boring to me. Especially with their dynamic, they both can do no wrong in each other’s eyes and they will continue to place the other on a pedestal. Their relationship is highly disturbing and I hate how it’s marked as healthy, just because you’ve never mistreated your partner physically doesn’t mean that your relationship is healthy. This is a prime example of unhealthy and obsessive relationships.

Another thing I absolutely hate about all of this is how absolutely fucking hypocritical all of this shit is especially with Hades being involved. That was the biggest mistake of the century, why the hell would Hades be defending Persephone from Demeter’s emotional abuse when he does the same exact shit? It’s fucking ridiculous. If this was realistic he’d most likely side with her mainly because he doesn’t see anything wrong about stuff like this cause he does it all the time. This is like an abusive parent trying to argue with another abusive parent about how abusing kids is wrong while continuing to be an abusive piece of shit, you see how the shit doesn’t work? I’d rather see Hestia or even Artemis defend Persephone since let’s be real this whole situation is essentially about them and their group so why would Hades even be there to begin with. The way that Demeter being emotionally abusive towards Persephone is disgusting and terrible (which is completely understandable) but all the times Hades personally humiliated and created such a hostile environment for Thanatos that he literally SHAKES and STUTTERS when he’s in the presence of Hades especially when he’s mad is excused is absolutely horrendous. Honestly with how out of the blue this whole thing is I feel like this is only the first instance of this stuff happening while with Thanatos we’re shown dozens on dozens of chapters where he gets severely mistreated emotionally by Hades and it’s basically a daily thing for him. You have no room to say Demeter is a terrible parent and not bring Hades down with her because there should be no excuse of why Thanatos is absolutely terrified of Hades and how Hades knowing this fact uses it to continuously intimidate and degrade him.

The double standards of this whole thing is incredibly telling as well. Hera literally pressured Persephone into having an extravagant coronation even when Persephone obviously wanted to have a small get together and yet she got pushed down and ignored by Hera and she acted like Persephone was being ridiculous because of her response. I don’t understand why everyone is okay with Hera putting Persephone’s ideas down and not actually respecting her voice or even her title as queen of the Underworld yet when Demeter does the same thing she’s in the wrong for it. I’m not understanding why we aren’t calling out Hera for it as well since they did the exact same thing just framed in different scenes. This is just more reason for me to believe that Rachel really just doesn’t like Demeter and that there’s no actual reason why Persephone and Demeter have a bad relationship because when it comes down to it no one treats her good at all not even Hades. Everyone is a manipulative parent to her and no one gives her the respect that she deserves yet the comic truly wants us to believe that everything is completely fine when the main cast mistreats her yet when it’s Demeter it’s a capital offense.

All I’m saying with this rant is I’m tired of people putting down Demeter for her actions towards Persephone yet instantaneously supporting similar actions made by other characters. It feels like it’s just Lore Olympus vs Demeter at this point because of how extremely immature and underwhelming this whole thing is. Everyone walks all over Persephone and they force her to do things she doesn’t want to, it’s a theme and common scene in this comic I’m tired of everyone acting like only Demeter has ever done it and if I’m being honest with you before this chapter came out Demeter really was the only person who treated Persephone like she was competent, she never babied her or made her feel less than and she valued her well being and happiness. Everyone in her “support” group including Hades denies her access to her full potential by doing and handling everything for her and they obviously don’t think she’s capable of pretty much anything, the way they treat her is really pathetic and it really makes it seem like Persephone has no dignity especially with her peers. Very hard to watch.

[canarydarity]

Sooooo, what's your super specific jimmy au based on a historical figure about? 👀

oh you mean the one I am desperately trying to get my brain not to think about because I already HAVE a super niche jimmy au based on a historical figure? I'm so glad you asked <3

Grace Darling was the 22 year old daughter of a lighthouse keeper on the Farne Islands in the UK.

Early in the morning on September 7th 1838, she saw what she believed to be a shipwreck snagged on the rocks of one of the nearby islands. She convinced her father—who thought the idea much too dangerous—to accompany her to the wreck where they managed to save the lives of nine people.

This kind of thing made her INSTANTLY FAMOUS. like she was renowned worldwide for her bravery and empathy for others and for having done this etc. Artists traveled from ALL over to be able to draw portraits of her (people would pay so much money to have one to stick in their wallet. she was THAT famous), she was CONSTANTLY being interviewed by news outlets, Queen Victoria sent her £50!! they wrote each other letters!!!! She received a medal etc.

but grace hated the attention, and she was always saying she'd only done what any person would've and that was all!! she did not deserve nor want a pedestal!!! she asked kindly for it to stop!!! and it :')) did not :')).......

she could not leave her house without being swarmed by people and she was constantly being made to sit for portraits or strangers would beg her for a lock of her hair and it was a LOT! but she felt OBLIGATED to entertain it because it was SUPPOSEDLY well-intentioned!!! she was pressured to go on a tour around the country to speak about that day and her experience and she was SO worn down by the years of attention at this point that on this tour she....contracted tuberculosis and....died. at 26. and this just of course. pushed her even further into the spotlight and now in her death she is this. martyr. further memorialized in the media against her wishes as this hero. and I just. am so so sad for her. and wish she got some peace. she saved the lives of 9 people and she was in a way harassed for it until she,,,,,,,,,,,,

AND I JUST THINK THAT I CAN CANARY CURSE THAT. IN A WAY. MAYBE. I DONT KNOWWW I DONT KNOW. I CAN JIMMY THIS..........

tell me that the idea of Jimmy as a victorian era lighthouse keeper doesnt fucking SLAP. LIKE, im already picturing his wardrobe. UGH! hes so tortured. to me.

its not really an au yet....but it...but my brain is....its trying to make it so....something where i can talk about grace darling and how horribly upset I am about the way she was treated while also fitting jimmy into a victorian lighthouse setting.........................

Dont ask why my first instinct whenever I become obsessed and empathize with a new niche historical figure is to go "can I jimmy them?"

also pay no attention to the way both niche historical figures Ive done this to's stories have revolved around being the center of media storms outside of their control.

if you couldn't tell working at a museum is bad. for me personally. /silly

[raw-law]

!!!!! I adore you two, really. I always love educating people and having discussions with them but I do not wish to come across as arrogant just because I'm so honest (which most people cannot deal with). Both of you really deserve every ounce of my appreciation, even if the subject may still be a bit more foreign to you Light. I do not view it as a flaw, the fact that you're willing to expand your horizon on this (and everything else, really) makes it very easy to talk to you and I really like how you express yourself even when there's something you don't particularly agree with, or relate to. Very delighted at how polite you are. I absolutely agree with you, our expectations and preferences towards romantic partners do mesh. Out of the romance oriented questions you replied to occasionally I could get behind your replies a lot, seeing as you hold a standard of non dependancy and realism. True respect is sacred to me, and I like how the more someone mentally challenges you, the more respect you open up with towards that person. Very relatable and I cherish the position I'm at in your eyes. Now, Ryuzaki on the other hand.. Let me tell you, people have called me stoic all my life, but this right here? You really managed to get a wholehearted laugh out of me. I do sincerely hope you managed to get some sleep, but I have to admit I am heavily entertained by your way of gaining knowledge. I, too, like to sacrifice my precious sleep for it hahaha. Though what a shame.. What a shame it is to hear a smart man like you degrade himself like that. I'm not liking that and I truly believe you should put yourself on this pedestal as well so let me mirror some of the praise I have been kindly receiving from you boys. You are not slow by all means, nor are you incoherent. I can follow perfectly fine, there is no bullshittery to put up with.. Your natural curiosity is nothing to be ashamed of, it should be admired. I'm certainly not suffering from your rambling, I was in fact looking forward to this reply and you surely did not disappoint. Trust me, it would be nothing but a pleasure to me to be bombarded by your questions even in the middle of the night haha. Sorry, now it's my turn to sound a bit shallow haha I'm just a bit flustered. Every time I press send I start doubting myself because I fear I might seem like a total weirdo and creep and every single time you welcome my words so greatly, both of you. It always hurt me when people painted you as some ugly rotting creature, Ryuzaki, because I am certainly not failing to notice how charming you are. Naturally, even, since you're not really trying at all. I understand how people are drawn in by Light's effortless elegance but I think you are bright too, Ryuzaki. Very much so actually. I greatly appreciate the warmth in the way you interact with me.

Anyway, sensual is the word I was looking for. In the past, my partners have always used that term when referring to me. I want to tell you two something a bit contradicting yet not short of amusing; I already had this opinion before this happened, but around.. Four or five years ago, I was in a relationship with someone who deeply fascinated me. A very busy person who majored in psychology along with a job in security and a large social media presence with a big audience on the side, quite a bit older than me as well. We got acquainted through our shared interests and while getting to know each other, they slowly but surely revealed their fragility to me. I was obviously more than honored, but back then I wasn't as confident as I am today and everything was a tad bit intimidating to me. My life was vastly different to theirs, so I wasn't sure about being able to take care of them but since they held such mental strength, I figured it would not be much of an issue. Until, one day, they told me something that was alien to me - they told me that they haven't shed a single tear in years. Through laughter. Casually, just like that. With their busy life and blows of fate, I kept on asking myself how that was possible and eventually realized it was repression that held their tears in. Something about that was so cruel to me that it made me instantly tell them "I want to change that." in a way that would be beneficial for them. Mind you, me personally I would break if I couldn't shed my precious tears. I like to cry and I like to cry often, I cry when I listen to sad music or when I watch sad movies. I cry out of anger, sadness, and joy. I would never be ashamed of that. I figured it must be torturous to not be able to, literally, let your emotions flow out of you like that, especially since crying releases well needed endorphins. I wasn't sure how to approach it because really, how do you say "hey, want me to make you cry?" without sounding like an asshole? It was almost comical, especially with me being younger. I didn't want them to shed tears of sadness, so this was when I tended to eroticism. After getting their consent, I began to strategically pinpoint their most harmless of weaknesses, expanding into those that rooted deeply. They were woven into knots and with them and me having a rather long distance between us, it usually ended up in me rambling on the phone, building up into something more erotic day by day. It goes without saying there was an insane amount of trust involved, someone recognizing your weaknesses like that can be insanely harmful and dangerous, I chose my every word carefully and yet if I made it sound too weak, I knew I couldn't reach anything. Sometimes, they were so relaxed that they just fell asleep. This was a huge compliment to me, proved their trust and just reassured me I was the only one who could do this for them. Not once did we have sex, believe me when I say I have never physically touched them and yet one day it happened, they cried and they cried hard. It was cathartic and sexually gratifying for the both of us. This was when I realized how erotically capable I am.

I apologize for the length of this ask, but I figured this story might be highly interesting to someone who's not well versed on this matter. And yes Light, whether you're a mass murderer or not is not to be questioned in the slightest. It's a fact, as Ryuzaki said. Not insulting you, the burden you carry must be heavy if that's the path you chose for yourself. I won't pick sides. I wish to remain neutral and realistic.

-🩶

L:

wow.. i'm honestly not sure if i can make a response that lives up to everything you've shared here. but.... shit. i'll try, hahah.

i'm glad you found my sleep deprived prattling amusing, though light definitely did make it more coherent than it originally was, so thank him for that part if anything, hah. your compliments are also highly flattering. i'm not.. really used to praise that's not in regards to my work..? so this is certainly new. i'm not sure what's the uh.. socially right way to accept such remarks? but i do highly appreciate them. it's just.. very new, hahah. and you say i have charm.

i'm also glad that you can feel comfortable asking and answering with what you please. i wouldn't want to foster an environment that makes you feel like a creep, or a weirdo.. or question what you're doing here (it may be a reference but it is true, i assure you). plus, i just like learning about people, so lengthy responses are always welcome. as much as i like taunting light with stupid questions, i very much enjoy discussions like this as well.

and the story... that's the main part that i'm not sure i can match up to.

it's beautiful. really. i'm not sure what else i can say. i honestly didn't think relationships like that could really.. exist..? but in the sense of that kind of deep emotional intimacy, especially in the form of erotica. or maybe it's just a subconscious mentality of not believing i could personally achieve that... i'm not sure. either way, it's an incredibly touching story. i doubt i'll forget it. thank you again for the response, even though i feel like "thank you" is too weak of a phrase to describe how much i like this story.

Light:

I'll...try my best to answer your ask, sorry for the long wait...I've just been thinking of a better way to answer you.

First of all, I'm glad that you're writing to ask. Don't worry about seeming like a 'creep' or a 'weirdo', we're always interested to learn more---especially when the subject is interesting, like in this case.

And....I must say this. Your story is beautiful. Honestly, that's why I've been waiting on this reply for so long---I'm not very sure how to adequately respond to what you've told to both of us. I guess I can say that, because of it, I understand now that eroticism can...make people feel emotions they haven't felt in months, years, possibly even decades. And, honestly, that's just so...amazing? If that's the right word, because words seem to be unfortunately failing me here. I suppose I'll just enjoy your story in silence. Just know that I deeply enjoyed it, and, well...I can say that you've helped my understanding of the subject come a long, long way since the start.

Thank you. And you're right: it is highly interesting. I'd absolutely love to hear more of this, though my response is heavily inadequate...

[spuffybot]

If you haven’t been following Scandoval (impressive honestly because it’s everywhere) the TLDR version of events is this: Ariana & Tom were together for 9 years. Raquel was Ariana’s close friend who we watched her support & protect time and time again. Raquel and Tom were hooking up behind Ariana’s back for 7 months and this all unfolded on TV.

When the news broke, the world rallied around Ariana to the point where it became a cultural phenomenon, breaking containment from the world of reality TV, and entering the zeitgeist with full force. This scandal has been covered by CNN, The View, and just about every major publication / podcast / tik tok you can think of. And while I have cheered Ariana on alongside the masses, I’ve felt a slow growing anxiety. We love to put women on pedestals and we love even more, to knock them down.

Long time viewers have rallied behind Ariana, buying merch en masse as companies and sponsors have kept her booked around the clock. To say this scandal has been profitable is an understatement: Ariana is experiencing a career high, even as her personal life turns to ash. This both excited, and worried me. I love to see a woman get hers, but it fueled the anxiety, which slowly turned to certainty, that public opinion would eventually shift.

Our society can’t stand to see a woman win for too long. As soon as we lift her up so high, we start to build barriers and expectations. She must be the perfect victim: graceful, above it all, constantly proving she didn’t deserve to be betrayed. She must be pure of heart (and body), and never stoop to “their level”. These impossible standards are a jenga tower waiting to topple. I feared that the same masses that rallied behind her would be waiting with baited breath for the tide to change, all too eager to accuse her of “going too far” or failing to live up to their expectations.

This past week, I finally saw my anxiety manifest. On Wednesday night the final reunion episode of Vanderpump Rules season 10 aired. This was the episode where we finally witnessed Ariana confront Raquel and Tom together. For the viewers, this debacle has been playing out for months as the show has aired. For Ariana, this reunion was taped shortly after she discovered the affair, and the emotions were understandably raw.

What I witnessed on Wednesday was a woman stepping fully into her anger and owning it. She held nothing back. Her pain, sorrow, and rage were on full display. This was not a woman thinking about the cameras, or her endorsement deals, or her popularity. This was a woman baring her soul and letting the hurt and vitriol flow. It was cathartic, it was brave, and it was utterly human. I felt myself in her anger, and I mourned all the times I bottled my own rage up and chose to be the “bigger person”.

Women (and even more so for women of color and queer women) are constantly navigating the minefield of having their anger policed. They must only be angry for the appropriate amount of time before they must forgive and move on. They can’t make a scene or allow their anger to inconvenience anyone. And they certainly can’t be angry in a way that is ugly, hurtful, or that makes people uncomfortable. Ariana rejected this at the reunion and embraced her rage. She did not censor herself or hold herself back. She made no apologies and gave no ground to Tom and Raquel.

It took little time for fans to shift from Ariana stans to accusing her of going too far and being a bully. Her anger wasn’t cute, restrained, or tailored for our entertainment and so our collective sympathy rapidly dissipated. Suddenly folks who were cheering when Ariana stonewalled Tom in the season finale were calling her out for being too mean at the reunion.

As I see the comments pouring in on social media I find myself disappointed and disheartened. I knew this was coming, that it was inevitable. Society has never been kind to a woman scorned, and Ariana’s time as media darling was always going to be a short lived tight rope dance. And yet, some small part of me hoped she would weather the storm. I hoped more people would see what I saw: a woman in pain who chose her truth over her appearance.

Ariana’s words may have cut, but actions have consequences. When you hurt someone that deeply, you should not also get to silence their rage. To the fans trying to silence Ariana’s rage now, I commend your empathy for Raquel, but I urge you to think about how entitled Ariana is to her feelings and to expressing them openly and honestly. Even when they are ugly. Even when they cut. Even when they make us uncomfortable.

[tutuandscoot]

i was thinking back to when they won the Olympics in 2010 in Vancouver…i still cant believe what they did and how they skated so beautifully ❤️

It gets even harder to believe when you think how much T was in pain and how much rehabilitation she was still doing every day for her legs… The thing that makes me extremely angry is that she has undergone the anti-doping procedure (which obviously turned out to be negative!!!!), while lately it seems that no one cared about this aspect even in situations where the athlete is not suffering the same excruciating pains she had, but taking drugs only to improve performance.

I believe that the fact that she has refused any drug that could even be minimally suspicious, the tenacity and trained conquest, the strength and constancy with which she has done all the rehabilitation and physiotherapy, are witnesses of what a terrific athlete she was and she will be in the following years!

THIS TAKE!

Yes!!!

They would’ve undergone several anti-doping tests in their careers and on no planet would they ever consider PEDs to get an advantage-let alone pain relief. They’ve always believed in clean sport and the ethics of fair play. When they were beat they acknowledged that they weren’t the best on that day and when they won it’s because they were the best and they worked harder than anyone for it. Even when there was obvious judging ‘incidents’ they decided not to focus on it and only focus on themselves. They could’ve fought for an investigation into the sochi saga (there was certainly grounds for it considering what came out later about the doping) but they didn’t. They came back to competition with a team behind them pushing them holistically and scientifically to be their best and they blew the competition out of the water even with two years off. The people they are, the values they hold true means they do not need to and would not ‘cheat’ to win. That should be the same for every athlete but as we all know it’s not. Whether it’s a personal decision to dope or forced by coaches or even a federation of a country.. this does not make for formidable, champion athletes in the way TS are through pure determination and togetherness.

Tessa Virtue deserves literally every wonderful thing that happens to her in this life. She has had one of the hardest journeys any athlete could have and through it ALL she smiled and entertained us and was the most caring and loving friend to her partner- lifting him up when he was struggling, skating and training through pain for the sake of not her own, but her partner’s career. He stuck by her side though all of it and every negative she or someone said or thought about her, he lifted her even higher up on a pedestal for her to shine brighter than the sun. The idea of her starving herself of pain relief so as not to inadvertently trigger an accidental positive test from a drug she thought was safe but wasn’t, surgeries that didn’t work, hours of physio.. all of that, anything just to get enough relief to get her through a day, a session, a gold medal- historic performance on the biggest stage in the world. Risking destroying not her own career, but Scott’s.. it’s something she couldn’t live with, depriving herself of potential, even brief relief at the risk of his career.. no effing way.

I can’t think of two people more inspirational in the simple fact of just being good, kind humans striving for a goal, no matter how personal or world-altering, maintaining their moral compass and being ambassadors for their country, who had nothing but love and admiration for eachother since the moment they first held hands.

[cherryjuiceblues]

Hiii me again sorry for annoyingly long messages 💌

Just a quick lil analysis:

Little freak, Jezebel - her submissive personality/sexuality alluring H to her.

You sit high atop the kitchen counter - the way he puts her on a pedestal. He wants to give her everything. Give, give, give. She deserves the world.

Stay green a little while - her innocence, her youthfulness. How jittery and literal she is. Uncorrupted. Having never been touched before him. Having no idea what she likes in bed when she meets him. Never been given flowers. She’s so affected by everything he does.

You bring blue lights to dreams - (dreaming of blue light meaning many different things, but commonly perceived as a sense of safety & comfort -OR- emotional desires) - so the way they both fulfill something inside of each other. It’s not just sex to him. She feels safe and calm with him for the first time in her life.

Questions: does H plan on taking Y/N to her subspace? H is very soft right now, and he start to push her buttons in part 3, but does he really push her during playtime at some point? She likes to touch him, but does he like to control when she’s allowed to touch? Does H use any type of soft bondage? I know it’s early on right now and he doesn’t want to overwhelm her so I was just curious to see if you’d give any sneaks as to how far he’ll push her boundaries (consensually of course). And is there anything that makes H blush?

More rambles on things I love about MB:

Her treating affection, love, sex, literally anything that someone does for her; as transactional. This hit different for me. It hurts to even try to broach this subject. But I’m glad you did.

Omg. When she gets a sudden burst of confidence and says “take your trousers off” and he just taunts her like “make me” and then him teasing her about her trying to get him naked omg 😵‍💫 like stop please I’m going to go jump off a balcony or something. As someone who sees themselves as pretty submissive, the sudden burst of confidence is so relatable. That she would have these little acts of defiance and want some sort of control, which he would entertain her for a minute or two until his dominant senses had been tickled enough, then he would show her who’s really on charge. Same thing when she pulls her dress down on the patio recliner or when she locks the bathroom door while she’s showering. Tiny little things she sees as wins being a sub. Endlessly endearing. And relatable. And H just smiles knowingly at her the entire time. Like okay, let her play for a minute, daddy’ll get her back later.

Also here are some more favorite parts of mine as I re-read this yesterday for the third time. Sorry I promise I’m not a creep. I’m just in a bad place emotionally right now and this fic is one of the only things that has brought me joy so I just want to live in it for a while. Barely taking care of myself but reading this feels like self care to me.

She has the audacity to feel embarrassed despite the obvious hand around her throat. — love this because I feel like a lot of people are under the impression that shyness, or having a personality that embarrasses easily just suddenly goes away, but I don’t think it works the way. ‘Least not for me. I can be in the most lewd of situations with someone I’ve been with for years and still feel bashful about compliments or dirty talk. Or even just feel embarrassed by having dirty thoughts about someone.

But she holds herself back. Is still too nervous and unsure to let her personality shine through. —me. That’s it. Like I have a personality in there but I have 80 million things I’m worried about so I’ll just be quiet because what if I rub someone the wrong way when I let it out?

The use of the word “cute” during sex… does things to me… (per your previous ask). “Is this cute enough for you?” ..Er..I’m..er..

“You gonna let me see your sunshine smile, darlin’?”

She laughs, a bright, bubbly giggle as her palms smother her face. “No!” —Kicking my feet, holding back a squeal.

“What?” Harry grins. “What’s so funny?” —still kicking, still squirming.

“Stop talking like that… it’s— I’m… flustered.”

“‘M just talkin’!” He insists, hands holding themself in a surrender. —so real of his personality. Ugh.

“No. It’s just— people don’t talk to me like you do. It’s nice… but I don’t know how to react.” —felt that.

She giggles again, eyes full of mirth—trying so desperately to embrace the fire in her cheeks.

“Are you real?” She mumbles into his mouth. —*melts* precious girl.

He stares at her so intensely as he guides her palm to his skin, basking in the coyness she’s exhibiting. —I like that he likes it.

But not without trying to fluster her first. That’s half the fun, after all. —shushhgsfgshhs

“Don’t be shy. I’m near bursting through the seams at the sight of ya, there’s no need to hide, darlin’.” —any time someone says “don’t be shy” it just makes it worse. ‘Least for me. And when he’s flustering her while in bed and he keeps saying “so shy, hm?” Or “I know, I know. You’re shy.” Like daddy’s just going to call her out isn’t he? It’s a vicious cycle.

Harry looks down at her, bemused. She thinks he’ll let her struggle—faff about for minutes until she’s satisfied—but his laurel tattoos are barely exposed before he’s taking hold of her wrist near his pelvis and the one hiding herself and pins them down beside her head. —“faff about for minutes until she’s satisfied” like shut UP I love hate him for that

“You wanna play, darlin’?” He’s so close to her. “Because we can…but I’ll always win.”

Y/N wishes he was wearing lipstick at that moment—just to see the proof of his heart shaped mouth painting her body. —this sentence made me think and feel things I did not expect.

He wants to coo right in her face, obnoxious and embarrassing, before his voice takes on a squeaky pitch and he expresses Of course, you can hold my hand—you’re just adorable, aren’t you?

Also you called me bestie and said you’d write a blurb inspired by me 🥺😭🤧 please I’m so delicate that was so sweet thank you I’ve never been called that before. Little Freak is also my favorite song. Kindred spirits. Also I’m really sorry I really tried to shorten this message so if you don’t respond I totally understand.

-💌

hello bestie !!! i was wondering about you 💌

you are so kind to send all this, really 🥹 it’s surreal to me that despite posting it on the internet, people actually see and read my writing, so to have you send it back to me and analyse it is so wonderful 🥹🥹🥹 i appreciate it so much, thank you lovely 🫶

and your little freak analysis too !! so clever, i’d love to make annotations and comparative points and all sorts for all of harry’s lyrics.

your questions… 😁😁😁 i don’t want to give tooooo much away but there are definitely things you’ve touched on that are going to happen. it’s almost like you live inside my brain ! i do plan on exploring play that requires harry to check in a lot more. she knows Red and Yellow but harry will introduce Green and ask for her colour regularly when they’re trying something new (like bondage, or overstimulation, and especially when y/n is in subspace).

what makes harry blush…… good question!!!!! he’s so good at keeping a stoic expression honestly, but i think when he’s so deep in pleasure his hard persona slips a little. i also think he’s weak in the mornings. and when they’re deeper in their relationship, i think y/n riding him when he first wakes up undoes him so quickly. he probably makes more noise and struggles keeping his eyes open 🤕 i reckon real vulnerable affection too. like when y/n plucks up to courage to say something really sincere, his heart goes crazy. first I Love You……………….

i’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. i’m glad to know this universe can bring you some sort of comfort, no matter how small 🫶 i know taking care of yourself is really bloody hard but be proud of the little things 🩷

all the love <333

[panlyv]

Things don't have to have substance, bunch of straight shit has no substance and is still entertaining at the very least. BL should be allowed have masterpieces and... the direct opposite. Not everything has to be a work of art and it's fine for it to not be.

Not sure what the context for you hating KP is (I don't follow you and this showed up in the KP tag), but the actors can actually act and have great onscreen chemistry and that's why I personally enjoyed the show despite the flaws it has in addition to the Meta the fandom produced and the engagement the creative team allowed for the audience to have.

Can't say most of BL shows produced and their team + fandom can come up with the things the KP fandom has or had put in the effort/complexity the KP creative team has.

Most BLs have the most mediocre actors paired with the most lackluster scripts so, at least for me, it was a gem. Also, I'd been waiting for it for 2 years before it came out. *shrugs* It was different, it was mature, it stepped out of the university setting I was so mind numbingly tired of.

Sorry fandom ruined it for you. It was, for me, one of the most engaging fandoms since ITSAY and Not Me and for that, I personally liked it despite its various shortcomings.

hi anon! first of all! my main problem isn't that kp doesn't have substance per se. i agree wholeheartedly that bls should have amazing, complex, mind blowing shows but also allow room for more silly and turn-your-brain-off kinda series and everything in between. we as queer people deserve the same range of shows and reps as cishets get in their own television, but my issue with kp is that people keep acting like it was a revolutionary show. it was not! it could've been, for sure. i expected it to be, and i'll be honest and say i was completely let down by the end result because i, too, waited over 2 years for it to come out, i was really excited because i adore apo and the premise of the story seemed fantastic, but alas, amidst all the troubles this production went through, the final product did not survive and we ended up with a show much different from that very first 9 minute "teaser" that made us all enthralled in what apo and mile could offer.

to me, kp had so much potential to be a great, thought-provoking, mature show that completely deviated from everything we've been used to in thai bls, but what came of it was a contradictory plot with many many plotholes and characters that didn't make sense or added anything to the story. apo is a good actor, and so is mile, but none were phenomenal or oscar worthy as some of you try to make them out to be, and the rest of the cast was mediocre. the production crew had many issues too and the vp actors are two shitbags im not gonna waste my time on.

like. fine!!!! you can enjoy kp i don't mind!!!! just please stop putting it on this pedestal as if it was the best thing in the world. be realistic pls. it *is* exciting that it offered something totally new to the thai bl scene, yes, but that by itself doesn't grant it a gold star. the show *was* lackluster and we all know it could've been so much better had they followed that original teaser. or, hell, focused more on the actual story than on those saturated sex scenes.

as for the fandom. well. i have a lot of bones to pick with like 90% of the people who engage with kp content, but i do admit some beautiful fan work came out of it that deserves praise. but overall, a very much braindead fandom by the stuff i've come across. again, it's not like there was a lot to work with considering the changes they made to the plot (like the house porsche and his brother live in, which does not add up to the situation they are living in, when in the original teaser they lived in a very small apartment.) and most of the show was just a display of hot men that i was personally not interest in, but the lack of critical thinking and the will to overlook serious problems and situations for the sake of finding actors attractive was honestly baffling. when kinn >sexually assaulted< a drugged porsche, people thought it was cute. when vegas drugged porsche and attempted rape, he was a little meow meow. when vegas, again, kept being completely awful and disgusting with porsche and then proceeded to torture pete, it was a love story. when accusations came out that pete's actor had done terrible things, no one gave a shit because y'all are much more interested in seeing men fuck than in the wellbeing of those who he hurt. like wake the fuck up, what's wrong with you all? shows are allowed to be complex and problematic, my complaint is not that. i don't care that vegas is vile and that kinn is flawed, but i do care about how you people willingly excused their behaviours for vanity. i swear petev3gas girlies are the most repulsive people i've ever seen and i hate each and every one of them with a burning passion. it's fucking hilarious actually how many maaaaany of them are all very anti-th4rntype and m3w and "sexual violence is terrible!!!!" but were so very quick to turn the blindest of eyes to the countless awful things vegas did and have the fucking gall to root for petev3gas.

anyways. like kp if you want, but i'm sick and fucking tired of y'all holding the show to this high standard when many others are far better and more cohesive, with a much better message, characters and storylines. please develop some critical thinking skills that tiktok and twitter probably sucked out of your brains and learn to accept that not everything you like is a masterpiece and that's okay.

[thegravityblog]

Honest Encounters

I'll be honest here completely. I can't take all this toxicity anymore. Some people are just bad for your mental health, they are energy drainers. Even looking at them, makes you feel uncomfortable. These people are like monsters, who have nothing positive going on in their life, hence they drain everyone around them. A year later, I wanted to reconcile with her, just to share a no-strings-attached relationship but there's something really off about this lady. She only wants you to stay hooked to her, but never provides you what you want. See, the toxic nature I'm talking about? Narcissists want you to stay hooked to them, for no apparent reason. They want you to put them on a pedestal and live with false hope. The fact is that she views people as objects, and she will only be with someone who can serve her at the moment. Don't question her and be dumb so she can take you for a toss. I wanted to fuck her. But in this quest, a strange toxicity has consumed me all over and I finally realized that this person is really a bad human being and really very bad for my mental health. Ironically, she's also a mental health professional, also a nurse (practicing) but has no regard for a human being or a soul. She will hate you for pointing her out, for calling her BS out. Idk why I wanted to screw her again, but she is a loser and always will be one. She surrounds herself with losers for a easy life so she can wander around by fooling everyone and taking favors from everyone. An absolute fucking grifter. I'm out. I'm good with my girl, and I have made my mind to just ignore her completely because this bitch literally fucks with my head and no person who is this negative and toxic, should be entertained at any cost directly or indirectly. This person is a grown up and is doing what she wants to do. My job is not to fix anyone's life. If she has chosen to become a prostitute, well its her choice. None of my business. I quit, and I promise myself I will never ever indulge into her again. She's a very bad human being, just using people and draining energy. I'm done. I can't fix this piece of shit, because she herself doesn't want to change or get fixed. From tonight onwards, there'll be no mention of her anywhere. Never ever. With all my heart, I am mourning and deciding that this person is dead for me. I never knew her and she is a no-one to me. I remembered what she did to me, and how much she respected me - Never. I give up on you! You're utterly toxic and I don't want to ever see you again. Don't fucking come in front of me. You're dead to me. I wish you never get peace in your life and always be miserable and die a miserable death. People like you deserve to be crushed beneath a truck like a dog on a highway. That's what I pray for you. I promise myself, and I never break my words, keeping my hand on my heart, I will never ever talk about you, think about you, or try to reconcile with you for any kind of relationship. You're bad for my health. I hope you die a painful death, you're dead for me tonight but when you die in reality, I wish it should be painful as hell. Now go sell your body, and never ever come in front of me.

[idkmanfuckthisall]

alright just wanna preface this by saying this post is made on the basis of a myriad of half baked thoughts that have flitted through my brain over the years. my relationship with god and religion is confusing even to myself. and i think the conversation surrounding god and religion will never reach a common ground. these are my thoughts only, which can and probably will change in the future.

given the current trend, the number of people who consider themselves religious is dropping and will continue to do so in the future, at probably an even more accelerating rate.

here's the thing, although i do agree that a LOT of issues are caused directly or indirectly due to religion, i think a lot of people hold themselves back in the fear of karm.

that being said, a lot of perpetrators of violence are religious (not even counting violence that can be directly linked to religious beliefs)

BUT. we can say that as time goes by, education will be more accessible which can be linked to increase in tolerance. moreover the very obvious and rapid denunciation of religion will also lead to the power being taken away from religious individuals. the blind and unyielding trust in them will be replaced with scrutiny.

moreover, religious fanaticism will probably take a hit too.

as for unrelated crimes committed by religious individuals, i think they can be countered with education and (hopefully) better justice systems. talks of therapy and mental health have also started to loose the stigma surrounding them and although it may take quite some time to get to the peak, i think we're steadily heading that way.

all pluses upto here right?

yeah so let's say atheism is at its peak right now. this is how things can slowly start to descend.

nietchze argues- that humans enjoy being wicked just for the sake of being wicked or- the carnal delight “de faire le mal pour le plaisir de le faire,” to act wicked for the pleasure of being wicked.

a lot of times a myriad of torture and execution methods were displayed in royal marriages and festivals as a sick form of entertainment.

he argues is that bad conscience, in its developed form as the feeling of guilt, particularly associated with Christianity, is a form of legitimized cruelty turned inwards upon oneself. Nietzsche posits a fundamental human tendency to experience pleasure in inflicting suffering. He assigns the origins of bad conscience to ‘internalization’, in which aggressive instincts, curbed by civilized society, express themselves towards the self. The Christian God is invented as the perpetual guarantee of our deserving punishment for having aggressive animal instincts. Thus, bad conscience gains its value from the same origin as the instincts it opposes. (src)

now without having a god to cater to, will we slowly start loosing are morality, morality that quite possibly originated as a response to fear of god and what waits for us beyond death.

this may sound stupid because it is almost like we were born with a moral compass that was etched into our brains, but that is not the case.

and i am not saying that as soon as atheism takes over people will start torturing one another.

ok wait lemme bring out my notes from the gay science by nietchze lol-

[the parables of a madman]

so the arguments that have been put forward go something like this-

[alright so the graph above doesn't represent time frame (obviously) and is a very rough representation of what i am trying to convey]

but something that we havent considered yet is spirituality. i do think that religion will probably loose its pedestal in the next century, but imo, spirituality will not traverse the same path.

a society devoid of religion is not synonymous with a society devoid of suffering. and that is what spirituality does. it provides comfort of a meaning.

"People want to escape suffering, but if they can’t get out of it, they want to find meaning,” Norenzayan says. “For some reason, religion seems to give meaning to suffering – much more so than any secular ideal or belief that we know of.”

ok now i want to argue that people are being more cynical ab religion due to a number if stuff, moreover, spirituality as a whole is a more fluid and inclusive term for a myriad of varying beliefs.

as for suffering, that is something i agree with whole heartedly. the only thing that tethers me to theism is the hope that justice is served somewhere somehow. my mind refuses to even entertain the possibility of death being the final stage, because it just makes the world so much worse than it already is

But even if the world’s troubles were miraculously solved and we all led peaceful lives in equity, religion would probably still be around. This is because a god-shaped hole seems to exist in our species’ neuropsychology, thanks to a quirk of our evolution. Understanding this requires a delve into “dual process theory”. This psychological staple states that we have two very basic forms of thought: System 1 and System 2. System 2 evolved relatively recently. It’s the voice in our head – the narrator who never seems to shut up – that enables us to plan and think logically. In addition to helping us navigate the dangers of the world and find a mate, some scholars think that System 1 also enabled religions to evolve and perpetuate. System 1, for example, makes us instinctually primed to see life forces – a phenomenon called hypersensitive agency detection – everywhere we go, regardless of whether they’re there or not. Millennia ago, that tendency probably helped us avoid concealed danger, such as lions crouched in the grass or venomous snakes concealed in the bush. But it also made us vulnerable to inferring the existence of invisible agents – whether they took the form of a benevolent god watching over us, an unappeased ancestor punishing us with a drought or a monster lurking in the shadows. “A Scandinavian psychologist colleague of mine who is an atheist told me that his three-year-old daughter recently walked up to him and said, ‘God is everywhere all of the time.’ He and his wife couldn’t figure out where she’d gotten that idea from,” says Justin Barrett, director of the Thrive Center for Human Development at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California, and author of Born Believers. “For his daughter, god was an elderly woman, so you know she didn’t get it from the Lutheran church.” For all of these reasons, many scholars believe that religion arose as “a byproduct of our cognitive disposition”, says Robert McCauley, director of the Center for Mind, Brain and Culture at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, and author of Why Religion Is Natural and Science Is Not. “Religions are cultural arrangements that evolved to engage and exploit these natural capacities in humans.” src

what i mean to say is that even though we might be able to get rid of religion, i dont think we'll ever truly get over spirituality.

“With education, exposure to science and critical thinking, people might stop trusting their intuitions,” Norenzayan says. “But the intuitions are there.”

this poses a challenge to everything i said above the graph (for the better of course)

[themanwhomadeamonster]

bitch what the fuck if I have to be rude just to make it clear that I have respect for myself and won't be a fucking doormat then so be it!!!