#time to mentally explode myself i guess

[ganondoodle]

its actually such a scam that no matter how aware you are of why you are feeling like shit you cant do anything against it anyway, like yeah i expected to feel like there is no fun and no point to the world bc its the time TM again but i just have to sit here feeling like that with every fiber of my being anyway, yippie i love staring at the screen until my eyes hurt and getting pissed off and depressed with everything i see :))))

[zanzanne]

wanting more than anything to just go home for the thousandth time

[raeathnos]

.

[nnight-dances]

PICTURE YOU

PAIRING: karina x fem!reader (reader has periods)

GENRE: fluff, smut (explicit, but not too much?)

TROPES: karina comes back home with a bob and you go crazy essentially. also yeah this is the same universe as CASUAL

LISTEN TO: picture you by chappell roan

NOTE: lol not me breaking the hiatus with this karina fic on a random friday... but come on you can't blame: just look at her!!! actually lost my mind when i saw the new hair reveal like???? have u considered my feelings??? also yea i guess i just associate my karina fics with chappell roan songs now sorry. also also i have been in a crisis once again trying to figure out if i'm bi or just a lesbian so perhaps that is where this fic came from maybe perhaps! anway, pls enjoy <3

in your defence, you were on your period. and you'd been burnt out after the past few weeks straight from hell at college. you'd lost sleep almost every single night and you didn't remember the last time you'd felt the rush of anxiety not be there in your veins. all that to say, you were in a specially fragile mental state when karina came home with a bob. 

at first you didn't even recognize her. you'd looked up from your phone where you'd been mindlessly scrolling to take your mind off the stress and then back down, thinking it was weird that a random chick had entered your room. you'd pinned it to be one of karina's friends but as soon as you said karina's name in your head, your neck snapped back up to look at her: "karina?" 

the girl burst into laughter at your shocked exclamation, the ends of her hair hitting her neck. "yes, it's me, jagiya. did you not recognize me?" she's still laughing but you feel something like a fainting spell coming on, with the way your vision blurs and your heartbeat threatens to explode. 

"jagiya?" karina's voice is speckled with doubt now, crossing your shared room to stand closer to your bedside where you lay. her cold fingertips greeted your bare shoulder, "do you not like it?" 

you can't speak for the longest time, just staring back at your girlfriend in utter shock. karina is starting to interpret your silent shock as horror when you finally break the stillness, hand on her jaw bringing her lips to your hungry ones. you devour her, lips overpowering hers as you slip your tongue into her mouth with the kind of force that has karina gasping. 

it is her hand at your chest that stops the kiss, her eyes wide with flustered amusement. "i'm guessing that means you like it?" 

"rina," your voice is a whisper, so drenched in longing that it surprises your own ears, "you're divine. i don't i can handle this." you feel weak all of a sudden, falling to your pillow with a huff, but eyes never leaving karina.

"i'm sorry i didn't think a haircut would get you this worked up," karina laughs, climbing up your bed, shuffling into the space between your legs. "but i'm not complaining. you've never kissed me like a starving woman before."

you groan, "don't tease me. i'm just– look, you're already like the hottest person on this campus and if that wasn't enough of a nightmare, you've gone and gotten yourself a bob. now i'm gonna have to fight off the bitches who didn't know you were gay!" 

"did you just say nightmare–"

"yes. i have to live knowing that i've outdone myself with my very first college girlfriend. i'll never reach these heights again."

karina runs a hand through your hair with a smile, "who says you won't always have me?"

you give her an incredulous look, "really? with this bob, it'll only be hours before there's a line of lesbians outside our door begging for your number."

"well, that's too bad," her hand's found its way up your shirt somehow, "i'm taken."

you hum an acknowledgement. then, you sit up to face her, cupping her face in your hands. slowly, you kiss her. longingly. fiercely. 

you pull away to rest your forehead against her, your hand busy exploring the new form of her hair. it's thrilling, the way you can access her neck so much easier. your fingertips rest at her strong shoulder and your lips trail their path, lingering at the valley between her jaw and her throat. you place a soft kiss there and then feeling the tremble of her nervous breath, you go in with more bite, leaving a mark. 

you feel karina's hand clutching at the material of your shirt, the squeezing a pleasant reminder of the way you were making her feel. "i might just be the luckiest girl to exist," you mumble, making your way down to her collarbones. karina's response is a guttural moan, her hand against your waist pushing you closer to her chest now. 

"mhm, there's one way to shoo your fangirls away," you chuckle, admiring the patchwork of blooming bruises on karina's neck. she's flushed, and even better, speechless. 

"you're killing me, y/n," karina whines, clawing at your shirt to take it off. you shake your head, stopping her movements. 

"no, you're the one that's killing me," you complain, lifting karina's tank top before she can protest. "let me at least show you how you make me feel." 

you really do devour karina that afternoon: her toned body spread over your sheets like a dream that you couldn't afford. but it was real. you know because you took your time with her, touching and feeling every inch of her warm body flush against yours: the little hairs on her skin dancing against your hot touch, and the veins running hot to greet your touch. 

you've just traversed the landscape of her abdomen when she sits up, eyes blown out with pleasure. "y/n, i think i'm gonna pass out if you keep at it." 

you look up from between her legs with a grin, "really? then you've just started to understand how i feel–" 

before you can continue your adminstrations, she tugs you up, lips beckoning yours. "let me eat you out," she pleads softly as she pulls away from the kiss. and you relish in the sound of her begging you to let her please you, the actual goddess in between your arms. 

"as much as i'd love that," you peck her nose, "'m on my period, babe."

"you know i don't care," she starts and then shivers when your hands find the hem of her panties. 

"don't worry 'bout me, rina," you assure her, "let me make you feel good today, 'kay?" she nods, coming apart so easily while you talk her through it, showering her with praises like there was no end to it. and you'd do it for the rest of your life. watching karina's skin pulse under your touch and the way her eyes were hooded by her short hair, in the end it was always worth it. 

[promptfairy]

❥    𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 [ 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 ] ( PART 2 ! ) .

part one is here. change gendered language and add context to your needs. happy roleplaying!! ♡

❛  never underestimate the value of being just who you are. life isn’t about being extreme all the time.  ❜

❛  i used to be so focused. but now, it’s like i just can’t … you know … do stuff …  ❜

❛  you know what i’d like? a chance to talk to someone who isn’t you.  ❜

❛  i waited and waited because i really wanted to see you.  ❜

❛  i’m pretty forgetful, but i’ll record the times we’ve shared in the notebook of my heart.  ❜

❛  there is no rational reason why people act the way they do.  ❜

❛  there aren’t any trendy shops and zero hot men. what a wasteland.  ❜

❛  if i listen carefully to the sound of the rain, it seems like music on the leaves and flowers.  ❜

❛  even if it’s temporary, fleeting happiness is better than none.  ❜

❛  in my opinion, passion is what makes people beautiful.  ❜

❛  no one ever understands me. i’m hungry all the time and no one cares.  ❜

❛  i’m afraid of falling in love and getting hurt.  ❜

❛  you’re just such a little ball of sunshine! you make the world seem like a brighter place.  ❜

❛  one day, i realized that i’m happiest just being myself.  ❜

❛  being filled with doubt and uncertainty is just part of being young.  ❜

❛  doing your best at something you’re really into is kind of what life is all about, right?  ❜

❛  i feel so happy, i might explode! … please promise you’ll clean up if i explode.  ❜

❛  if you ever need someone to hear out your troubles, or even just a shoulder to cry on, just let me know.  ❜

❛  i’m not crying. i’m just using my eyeballs to moisturize my cheeks.  ❜

❛  you’re just so darn cute! i can never say no to you.  ❜

❛  we meet people, get to know them, and then they get up and leave us behind.  ❜

❛  believe it or not, i feel like i’ve known you for a long time.  ❜

❛  the world needs people like me to tell everyone what’s wrong with them.  ❜

❛  it doesn’t matter if you’re powerful or weak. having a strong heart is what counts.  ❜

❛  sometimes i forget who i am and what i’m doing.  ❜

❛  i’m beautiful, but i’m also … deadly.  ❜

❛  there’s something loveable in all of us.  ❜

❛  you’re a little obsessive, aren’t you?  ❜

❛  i always thought you were some freak mental case because you run around town all the time.  ❜

❛  even if perfection is sometimes out of reach, isn’t it still fun to try?  ❜

❛  i’m a lone wolf who doesn’t want to be alone.  ❜

❛  the body is like a battery. every now and then, you need to recharge a little.  ❜

❛  sometimes i put flowers in the toilet so it’s like a huge vase.  ❜

❛  i’ll bet that he’s looking up at the same sky right now.  ❜

❛  even a good memory can make you cry.  ❜

❛  don’t be such a little capitalist! take a deep breath and enjoy a long walk.  ❜

❛  i don’t mean to brag, but, i’m one of those people that’s good at everything.  ❜

❛  you don’t know me. don’t try to judge me.  ❜

❛  i care about you a lot. if you’re having a hard time, i’m here for you  ❜

❛  when someone fakes a smile, don’t get mad. at least they’re trying.  ❜

❛  i guess i just went into fight or flight mode, you know? only my ‘fight’ is more like ‘cry.’  ❜

❛  i’m gonna have to come up with something nice to say about you that sounds believable.  ❜

❛  if you go around trying to change everyone, you’re just going to make them angry.  ❜

❛  i guess you’re having one of your shy episodes.  ❜

❛  i feel like you’re staring at me and it’s making me nervous …  ❜

❛  i do not like to go around spreading rumors. but you won’t believe the rumor i just heard.  ❜

❛  i’ve got this feeling that we have chemistry, and it scares me …  ❜

❛  what’s it like to be so cool and self-assured?  ❜

❛  nobody’s ever nice to me except you.  ❜

❛  when i look up at the stars, i just wonder … what will they all become someday?  ❜

❛  you’ve definitely gained 1-2 [ pounds / kilograms ] since the last time i’ve seen you. i can see it.  ❜

❛  i like to think that it’s my job to show you young people how hard life is.  ❜

❛  ah, it’s such a good story. but i am legally prohibited from sharing all the details at this time.  ❜

❛  you can forget about being friends with me.  ❜

❛  i’m leaving this awful town.  ❜

❛  you’re so short. i can’t help but laugh.  ❜

[iidilio]

𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯?| 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘴!reader| chapter: 01, (you are here)02, 03, 04, 05

[🌸] phew-- you guys give me so much love in the last part, thanks <3 , maybe you don't know but you always give me a lot of energy to continue, thank you, I love you.

Summary: Perhaps the most important question is not; "How did you end up in this place?". it is; will you be able to finish the unfinished business that your self from this world left pending?.

...

..

.

The man took another sip of the steaming tea that resided in his hands, "I searched for you like crazy as soon as I first received your call."

You straightened up; however, you did not speak despite your desire to do so. Laura was sitting next to you.

When the man suddenly appeared at the door, the first thing he said was to know why you were in this place, and of course you were surprised by his words.

He had politely asked to speak to you, which you reluctantly agreed to. Laura, on the other hand, had offered to make some tea for the three of you to drink while you talked.

This man's appearance was so strange and unkempt, yet so... familiar, you vaguely wondered where you had seen him before.

"This is probably too sudden for you", he said, without showing any sign of discomfort at your lack of response. He put the small china cup down on the living room table, then pointed at your new old friend, "Does she have to be here?"

You knitted your eyebrows at her unappreciated words. You opened your mouth to reply before he interrupted, "No, forget it. I just remembered what happened last time I asked you that".

You were speechless; what did he mean by 'last time'...?

"Sorry, did we know each other before?", you asked, completely confused. "You speak as if we have known each other for a long time..."

The man frowned at your words: "Oh, right, you're not her".

"Her?" you murmured. You were so confused; did he think you were someone else or...?

He sighed while frowning a bit. His action and expressions were unexpected for you, but to be honest, it was more like he was mentally preparing himself for what he was going to say next: "How much do you know about other dimensions?".

"I...", what did you know? Only what was necessary, that was for sure. I mean, there was never a question like that on a math or physics test in high school. Goodness, it wasn't even a regular topic of conversation.

The man spoke again, not letting you finish your thoughts he murmured your name, "That's your name, right? I guess your last name is not 'Wayne', that would be too much of a coincidence'.

Wayne? Like the last name of that fictional character from the comics? You were going to ask him what he meant when the realization of what he said first hit you, you hadn't even told him your name yet, "How...?"

"So even names don't change in other dimensions," he said to himself without looking at your face. Then the man snorted; it sounded like an almost graceless muffled laugh. When he calmed down, he looked into your eyes. His look was serious— too serious, a little chill ran down your spine from the intensity of his look. "You are in another dimension... one where you died."

"What?" He was joking, right?

The man sighed, almost as if he were preparing himself for what he was about to say, "You were Bruce Wayne's adopted daughter".

As soon as the man finished speaking, you had enough. "Is this a joke!? Do you think it's funny that—?", Laura's warm hand on yours stopped you in the middle of your tirade. You turned to see her confused, only to see her surprised? She looked as if she had realized something.

Why did Laura see you that way? You could feel that your head was about to explode from everything that was happening. This was all too much; it couldn't be real. It was just impossible. This had to be a very well-crafted joke.

The man called out to you once more. "I didn't introduce myself, right?", he sighed in amusement and then raised his hand for you to shake in introduction mode, "You from this dimension probably would be scolding me for my bad manners. I'm John Constantine".

...

You saw the man's back walking away, his hands inside his coat. When he was a good distance away, he turned to you, "If you need anything, don't hesitate to contact me".

You squeezed the special card he had given you while you nodded vigorously, and then watched with complete surprise how what you assumed was a portal opened and then disappeared with John inside. None of this felt real, you were still taking in what happened an hour ago.

'I'm in another dimension', you thought as you, still very nervous, looked at the news magazine in which on the front page was reported about how the "justice league" managed to successfully catch the "injustice league" who threatened to destroy the entire city of Manhattan.

You knelt down, moving and reviewing different magazines from earlier dates that had different characters as protagonists, some better known than others. There was one of the "teen titans", a magazine that perfectly framed "Superman" flying through the sky to catch a plane with more than two hundred passengers on board that was going down.

You rummaged and moved more magazines until you got to the oldest news. One page featured Wonder Woman in particular as the protagonist of a march for Women's Day. Another page featured Flash, who was named the fastest human being alive. Even one of Aquaman gave an interview on how he managed to clean up the oceans by ninety percent.

There were some from Gotham that you were afraid to see for some reason. 'Is what he told me true?'

You sighed, tired; all this was giving you a migraine. 'Of all the possible things that could have happened to me, it had to be the worst...'

...

A sudden knock on the door startled you.

'Is it John?', was what you thought at first. It had been a few days since you last saw John, and the talk you had with him still weighed heavily on your mind.

.

.

.

"I suggest you come with me", he tried to convince you, but he stopped when he saw your distrustful look, "or maybe I could take you to Bruce", he retracted as he raised his hands a little.

"Why?" you inquired uneasily.

"You'll be safer this way", he explained as he got up from the chair. It didn't take long for you to copy his action, "Are you coming?".

Should you really do it? Was it really safe to go with him? If everything he told you was true, then the world waiting for you outside wasn't safe at all, and you knew it. You weren't foolish at all; you were sure that even John couldn't protect you at all times.

What would happen to Laura? Would she be okay?

John, seeing your indecisive state, hums, "Though- this place is good". He spoke, taking his eyes off of you.

You looked up from the fixed point that you were looking at without realizing it, "huh?"

He just nodded to himself and then looked at you, "I mean, this place isn't safe, it's a small town, but no one would think of looking for anything of value in this place", he explained as he gave you a small but warm smile, albeit something very inside you told you that smile was not really directed at you.

.

.

.

The second wave of knocks on the door took you out of your memories. You were about to get up to open the door when Laura suddenly appeared, waving you to stay in your place, which you obeyed.

"Are you sure that she is here?", it was a woman's voice, getting up from the soft chair, you headed towards the door.

You heard John's sudden voice, though it sounded like he was trying to defend himself, perhaps from some assumption, "Trust me, Zatanna is this house, I'm absolutely sure".

"It's better to be careful after last time-", the mockery in her voice trailed off as you stood in front of the door. She was a young woman, her eyes were a pretty blue, she had beautiful black hair that cascaded down her back; and next to her was John.

"See, what did I tell you?" John exclaimed triumphantly, ignoring the stunned woman next to him. "Hey , how's it going-?", the question hung in the air as the woman took a step towards you.

Laura, who was still standing in the same place, gave the black-haired woman enough space to pass. The soft touch of the female's hands on your face made you pay all your attention to her. Her eyes looked sad as she stared into yours, "You're not the same persona I used to know, are you?"

"I...", it wasn't even necessary for you to say anything else, she understood what you meant.

"I see, I understand. My name is Zatanna Zatara," she explained as she slowly moved her hands away from you, almost as if she didn't want to leave your person.

You felt bad for the woman in front of you.

...

:> Would you give me some love by squishing the heart below? Also tell me your thoughts, you can do it in this post or write it in my inbox!

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

[wip!] the art & science of parenting || jay park

update: this fic's been posted!! click here to read!

a/n: hellaur everyoneeee here's a lil summary & drabble into another wip i'm working on rn,,,i had this idea in the back of my head for SO incredibly long (im talking since 2021 pls) and decided to finally go for it :') so here's a lil peek for the time being to prove i'm still alive heh. i hope you guys like this concept,,,idk why but i really envisioned jay in this trope maybe because i plan on making it very fun & lighthearted but mixed in with some serious & angsty tones...we shall seeeee....you know i love my college!aus and e2l!aus heheh anyways saur sorry im yapping now! lmk what you think & if you want to be tagged !!

genre: jay x female!reader, fluff, comedy, college!au, enemies to lovers!au, parenting!au (parenting a robot baby LMAO), sum angst maybe, both reader & jay are smartasses who don't know how to communicate and confront their feelings , also a bit of photographer!jay :')

summary: The Art & Science of Parenting 101 (PSY1009) – In this interactive course, students will explore the psychological, social, and biological foundations of parenthood. Through a mix of theory and hands-on practice, you'll master the art of raising a simulated baby—aka the 'robot child.' Late-night feedings, tantrum taming, and crisis control are all part of the deal. What you didn’t expect to be part of the deal? Getting paired with Jay Park—the last person you’d trust to raise, well, anything. You’re pretty sure he couldn’t even take care of a pet rock. Now, you’re stuck co-parenting this robot baby together for 40% of your final grade.  Warning: Sleep deprivation is guaranteed. And maybe, just maybe, some unexpected feelings for your disaster of a partner. Good luck!

longer drabble under cut! <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

"Y/N and Jay."  

Wait. What?  

Your head snaps up so fast it's a miracle it didn't pop off your neck and roll away.  

You blink. You must have misheard.  

"Y/N and Jay," Professor Kim repeats as if she could read your confused expression, voice too nonchalant for the life-wrecking news she's about to deliver: "You two are partners."  

The words hit you like a bus. No, not even. The words hit you like a bus driven by a T-Rex that flips over, crashes into a building, and explodes into a million ashy pieces. And there you are—standing right in the middle of the wreckage, somehow still alive to suffer through every second of it—while Jay, smug as ever, whips around in his seat to face you.  

And of course, there it is: that look of his that screams 'This is going to be so much fun for me, and so much pain for you.' 

"Guess we're parents now, Y/N!" Jay chimes, his voice dripping with so much sarcastic enthusiasm you swear he just got handed an Oscar for Most Annoying Human. If that tone were a substance, you'd bottle it up and use it as insect repellent. On him. Repeatedly.  

You blink at him, you're sure—you're praying—this has to be some elaborate prank. Maybe Jay bribed Professor Kim with his rare attempt at turning in an assignment on time just to mess with you. Or maybe the universe just hates you and this is your karma for stealing your roommate's last ramen packet that one time a year ago.  

But no, Professor Kim keeps rattling off other pairs like it's business as usual, as if your entire academic career and sanity isn't currently being flushed down a metaphorical toilet, while you sit there, paralyzed, your brain rapidly melting into a useless puddle from the sheer thought of being paired with him.  

"What's wrong, Y/N?" Jay teases as he leans over the back of his chair towards you. "You don't want to play house with me?"  

You narrow your eyes at him, mentally wielding your imaginary bug spray like it's a holy weapon. "I don’t," you reply flatly. "In fact, I’d rather perform open-heart surgery on myself with a plastic spoon than co-parent with you." 

Jay’s eyes light up as his hand goes to his heart. "Aw, you really know how to make a guy feel special. This is why I like our little relationship, you know?" 

"Relationship?" You scoff loud enough to make the people sitting three rows behind you to glance in your direction. "The only thing we have in common is a shared oxygen supply." 

"See, that’s the spirit," he says, turning back to face the front like he didn't just ruin your life. And somehow, that pisses you off even more. Is it his voice? His stupidly perfect hair? The fact that he breathes in your general direction? At this point, he could literally sneeze, and it would still feel like a personal attack.

Is it too late to switch majors? Or schools? Maybe even countries? Surely, restarting your entire college career as a super senior would be better than spending the next six weeks parenting with Jay. Jay Park, who has probably never held anything more fragile than a Red Solo Cup.  

Jay Park, who is just sitting there, all calm and collected, clearly loving every second of your misery.  

While you're frozen in pure, unadulterated horror.  

Your grade? Plummeting as we speak.  Your robot baby? Probably going to need therapy by day two.  And you?  

You're screwed. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

decided to go for a longer sneak peek than usual bc im very excited about this one heh :) i also changed up my title image formatting..trying out smth new !!!

lmk if you want to be tagged!

<3, addie

[nyxjackson]

The Weapon Called Love

No one knew about her. Not even Paul. Not Hailie. Not Royce. Not the tight-knit group Em kept around him like armor against the world. She was the only crack in that armor he willingly let in.

Y/N.

The rising popstar whose presence was as magnetic as her voice. She was part of the global girl group MAMI, but unlike the other members, Y/N had a secret—one that kept her awake some nights, tangled in late-night texts and voice notes she couldn’t delete even if she tried.

Their worlds collided at an award show afterparty. She was laughing at something someone said—barefoot, drink in hand, glowing with sweat and joy. He wasn’t even supposed to be there. But when their eyes locked, it was over.

“I don’t do this,” he had murmured in her ear weeks later, when they lay tangled in the sheets of his Detroit penthouse, the city lights painting shadows on his back.

“I don’t either,” she had replied, her voice soft but real.

But they did. Over and over again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The beat was haunting. A minor-key piano loop, dragging drums, a faint echo of distorted strings—like something reaching from the past. Eminem’s voice cracked on the demo. Not from fatigue. From something else.

"Somebody save me... from myself I keep running in circles, back to the hell I left Thought love was a weapon, guess I pulled the trigger Now I'm bleeding regrets I can't forget, getting sicker..."

He didn’t name her. He never would. But every word was her.

Y/N heard it first when he nervously played it for her through a pair of battered studio headphones.

Her fingers tightened in her lap. “Is that… about me?”

“I don’t know,” he said, eyes avoiding hers. “Maybe it’s about us. Or maybe I just needed to get some shit out.”

“It sounds like you’re begging.”

He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction had come and gone. The hype around his name was higher than ever—again. Rumors of a new project were flying, but "The Weapon Called Love" hadn’t been released yet. He told Y/N he didn’t plan to perform it.

Too raw. Too real.

But then came the surprise set at the benefit concert in L.A. The night was for mental health awareness, and for reasons even he couldn’t explain, he chose it. That song.

He walked out under blue lights, head bowed. The beat started low, just a whisper.

The crowd was loud, expecting hits. They got something else.

By the second verse, his voice broke.

“I tried to let you go, let the past be But you haunt me in silence, in dreams that won’t leave…”

He turned from the mic. Covered his face. A moment of silence swallowed the arena.

When he came back to finish the song, something had changed. It wasn’t just Eminem performing anymore—it was Marshall.

Vulnerable. Human. Hurting.

The performance trended for days. Fans dissected every line. Theories exploded online.

“He has to be talking about someone real.” “That wasn’t just a song. That was a cry for help.” “Is Eminem secretly in love?”

Blogs pointed out he’d been looking at his phone obsessively during interviews. That he’d been wearing a gold ring on a chain around his neck. That his recent verses had softened, just a little.

But no one could find a name.

Backstage after the performance, he sat slumped on the couch, still shaking.

“You okay?” Paul asked carefully.

Em nodded. Lied. “Yeah. Just got caught up.”

But his phone buzzed, and the only thing that made him feel real again was her message.

Y/N: You shouldn’t have done that. But I love you more for it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was tired of being invisible.

The next time she stepped on stage with MAMI, Y/N wore a subtle necklace. At the end of it—a small, familiar ring.

Someone caught it on camera. Twitter lit up.

“Who is she?” “That’s the same ring Em was wearing…”

The rumors ignited. Interviews were dodged. PR teams scrambled.

And then, out of nowhere, Eminem posted to his rarely used Instagram:

Somebody saved me. I’m done hiding. We’re not perfect. But we’re real. — M

Under it, a blurry photo of them. Her arms around his neck, his hoodie pulled low, her laugh captured mid-breath.

The world lost its mind.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“The Weapon Called Love” became more than a song—it became a moment. A turning point. A declaration. But for them, it was just one piece of a complicated, beautiful, raw love story still being written.

And every time he performed it, he didn’t have to break down anymore.

Because now, when he looked out into the crowd, he could see her standing there.

And that was enough.

[lyn31]

A Bet

Summary:

At this point, you just can't help yourself.

AO3 link

My Masterlist ✨

Notes:

Pairing: Zayne x MC/Reader College AU, fluff and short.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t mean to start something. Really, you don’t.

But Zayne is staring at the café menu like he hasn’t ordered the exact same thing every single time—a caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream, as sweet as he can get away with—and it’s right there, practically gift-wrapped for you.

“You’re getting the caramel macchiato,” you say, lounging back in your seat.

Zayne doesn’t even glance at you. “You don’t know that.”

You scoff. “Please. You’re a sugar fiend. If no one stopped you, you’d probably drink syrup straight from the bottle.”

Across the table, Caleb perks up like he’s just sensed drama brewing. “Oh, this is good. You that sure?”

You meet Zayne’s gaze, and something shifts—playful, challenging, a silent dare hanging between you. You grin. “I’d bet on it.”

His brow lifts slightly. “What’s the wager?”

“If I’m right, you have to carry my books for a week.”

Zayne tilts his head, considering. Then, too smoothly, he counters, “And if I win, you have to admit I’m right about something. Publicly.”

You gasp, pressing a hand to your chest. “That’s low.”

“Take it or leave it.”

Of course, you take it. You’re already mentally celebrating when he steps up to the counter. You don’t even need to hear it; you know exactly what he’s about to order.

Then—

“One matcha. No sugar.”

The café goes dead silent.

Your jaw drops.

And then the group erupts.

Caleb fake-wipes a tear. “You hate to see it.”

Your sister shakes her head, sipping her drink. “You walked right into that.”

You’re still staring at Zayne like he just declared he was moving to Mars.

He looks far too smug as he picks up his drink, fingers curling around the cup like he hasn’t just betrayed every shred of trust you ever had in him.

“You hate matcha,” you say, scandalized. “And no sugar? Who even are you right now?”

He shrugs. “Guess you were wrong.”

You gape at him, betrayal sinking deep into your bones. “You’re a liar and a fraud.”

Zayne doesn’t even acknowledge the accusation. He just lifts his drink in a lazy toast. “And yet, I still win.”

Except—

Instead of drinking it, he slides the cup toward you.

You blink. Then blink again. “What?”

Zayne exhales like you’re the one being difficult. “Relax. I ordered the usual.” His voice is maddeningly casual. “Just wanted to see your face.”

The café explodes.

Caleb groans, dragging a hand down his face. “Oh my God, just date.”

Your sister lets out a long-suffering sigh. “One day, they’ll figure it out.”

You and Zayne exchange a glance, equally confused. “Figure what out?”

No one answers. They’ve already moved on.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

And I can't help myself either 😂 I love the idea that everyone on their campus is equally invested and done with these two ahahahaha

I was editing to add the rest of the series part but it was too long ahahaha so here's just the whole list: College AU list ✨

[pickyourpoisonandevolve]

Boyfriends to Have Boyfriends Headcanons, pt 4

I cannot stress enough how these are FLYING from my brain into a post. A brief thanks to everyone who’s said something sweet about this so far, I deeply appreciate you and your interest in what has to be my mental illness at this point.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

—-

It’s maybe one of the few times in your life you wished you were deployed. Leave is a siren song for fools, you thought. No one was meant to have this much time sitting in their dumb flat thinking about how they were fucking their Captain AND fellow sergeant. You were going to get discharged for sure. Dishonorable with a capital D. They were going to be mad at you for fucking your way through the team. Johnny would literally explode. But Price said that he KNEW—

A buzz. A text. Thinking too loud yet again.

Gaz: You doing anything today? Running errands near your part of town. Wanna come with?

In for a penny, right?

—-

You let him talk you into a wash day. A small luxury you two were able to afford yourselves as the two BIPOC members of the team. He even managed to talk you into going back to his (stupid face he makes where he tilts his head and smiles at you, can barely look at it, the bastard) Now you were sitting at his beautiful kitchen table, watching awful tv on low, with him on the floor between your legs as you rubbed scalp oil into his. You’d buy a timeshare in the 8th circle of hell if he sold it to you at this point.

“Call it nostalgia, I guess. My sisters used to do this for me back in the day. I miss it.”

“Those helmets aren’t doing any favors for anyone. Have you seen John and Simon’s crown lately? And how they both insist—“

“It isn’t thinning?” You both say in unison, laughter tearing through you both. His hand sneaks around to caress your calf, while your nails lightly scratch his scalp as you catch your respective breath.

“Hey. I, uh, wanted to—“

“Up, it’s your turn.”

“Wait, I wan—

Gaz pops up and takes you gently in his hands, leading you to the ground as he sits in the chair, hands already oiled and ready. You sat in a huff. He couldn’t say he regretted seeing you pout. The unease and frustration already settled in your stomach now had a new player enter the fold: Gaz’s fingers gently massaging your scalp. A short but hard fought battle internally, he felt your pulse slow, your body relax between his legs. That makes one of us, he thought passively.

“I know we didn’t make this easy for you. And I’m sorry. I don’t want to speak on behalf of John too much, but we’re not the most. Subtle men. You could say.”

You let out a small sound of agreement. “How long, uh. I guess how long has this been happening?”

“Couple years after I joined the force. Around the same time Simon and Johnny started I reckon.”

“Man, I should have been drafted sooner, I’d have a boss all to myself to fuck too—“

You felt his fingers tighten gently, just enough to pull your head back and give you a stern look. You gave him a meek smile as an apology, before he returned to his ministrations.

“As I was saying. We’re a team. Always have been. We could have made it a big deal, or we could continue to be great at what we do, work together. Price was just… everything I needed. Made me who I am today. Let me become the man I needed to be. No judgement.”

You nodded in his hands. You let your eyes close as he talked, letting his fingers lull you into a state. Aware but relaxed. Malleable, he’d call it. Right where he wanted you.

“But then someone had to come along and ruin it all.” He said with a laugh. “John and I share a lot of traits, and being territorial is one of em. You were so fucking sweet, and talented. Talked about you when we were together. And I just wanted to sink my fucking teeth into you.” He said, an edge in his voice now, nails scraping across your scalp a touch.

A new warmth ran through you as you felt hands pick you up from your seated position. Kyle carried you bridal style to the couch, laying you down in front of his windows in his flat overlooking the city. Your hair, big and wild from his hands, fell around your head like a halo. Fucking so perfect for him all the time. “You almost have her, don’t fuck this up.” He said to himself.

“We want you to be ours. No rank, no file. Just us.” He said, leaning over you, thumb running across your cheek.

Keys in the door started to jingle. A swish of bags and boots hit the floor as they come across the entrance and footsteps approach. “Hey love.”

Your heart stopped. You’re sure of it. Your eyes peeked open as the power of the sun was 5 feet from your face. Two of the hottest guys you’ve ever met standing above you as they ask you to be… a part of them. A piece to complete the puzzle. To make them feel a little more complete.

Your eyes become a little less lovedrunk, a little more sober and panic shoots through both of them for a moment. Your eyebrows scrunched, a sign they’ve come to learn means that you were unsure of the outcome. The thunder before the storm of “what if’s” cloud your mind. John reached down to pull you in a seated position, pressing his forehead against yours. “You could put a bullet in my head and I’d thank you for it. You couldn’t fuck this up if you tried.” He pulled back a touch to let Kyle in.

“Let us love you, sweetheart. We’ll spend the rest of our lives making sure you feel like you’re enough, yeah?” Kyle asked.

A small smile graced your lips, as you brought a hand to both their faces. “Yeah. We’re a team.”

[misspelledwordswizard]

May I request some Legend content?

Legend being so head over heels for reader that he's actually angry at himself for it. He doesn't want to fall in love and have to suffer the consequences for it (Getting teased for his feelings, the possibility of losing you, things like that)

And so, during some sort of situation where they are alone, and Legend is yet again battling with his thoughts and feelings, reader does something that makes him absolutely explode. Maybe he finally admits his feelings but like, in a way that makes it sound like he was being interrogated for hours and spews it out like "IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR?! STOP TORTURING ME FOR GOODNESS SAKE!"

(I read that you prefer it if it's descriptive so I hope this is good)

Guys, I think I got carried away with this one... Okay, I really loved this one, this was basically what I wanted his first fanfic to have been. Thank you so much for the request!

I won't say I'm in love

I went down the stairs of the inn where we were staying in a hurry. I had completely lost track of time and ended up sleeping too much. I was late. Yesterday, I had arranged with Legend to go to the village library. He wanted to look for something there, I’m not sure what, and I offered to go with him since I wanted to read a little too. 

I barely had time to get ready. I woke up with a ray of sunlight directly in my eyes. As soon as I realized my mistake, I just put on some decent clothes and ran out. He’s going to kill me for taking so long. 

I looked for the inn and there was no sign of the blond guy. It’s likely that he lost his patience and went alone. Maybe I can find him there. With that in mind, I left the place while trying to improve my situation a little on the way, taking advantage of the reflective glass of a random store to fix my hair. 

I walked through the busy streets, trying my best to avoid the crowds that dominated the place. It was a really big village, which ended up making the environment chaotic, but I managed to survive.  I arrived at the entrance to the library, and it was simply divine. It was located in a large, ornamental building with Gothic architecture; it looked divine. 

I mentally prepared myself to enter; there was still a possibility that the hero wouldn’t even be there, but if he was, he would probably be furious with me. I climbed the small staircase, staring at the large, open door, walking with controlled steps, until I heard someone calling my name. 

— Hey. – The Veteran’s voice caught my attention, looking in the direction where the sound came from, I could see him standing next to a pillar, with a relaxed posture. He then walked to my side, standing shoulder to shoulder and starting to walk into the library, with me following him. – You took a while. 

— Oh, sorry, I overslept. – I tried to explain myself and he snorted in response. 

— I should have guessed. 

— So, what did you come looking for? – I asked, curious. He was very vague about it yesterday. 

— Nothing that interests you, definitely. 

— Rude. – I said, sticking my tongue out at him playfully, making him roll his eyes. 

My attention turned to the place when I noticed how beautiful it was inside. The bookshelves went high, so high that each one had its own ladder attached that could be moved from one side to the other.  The ceiling was ornamental, with paintings on them like in a chapel, the windows were beautiful stained glass, the place itself was totally enchanting. 

— Are you going to just stare like a fool or are you going to find something to read? – The blond’s voice took me out of my reverie, making me focus on my objective. 

It’s been a while since I read, it’s kind of hard to do that when you’re constantly walking, from village to village, from era to era, having to fight monsters, and all that. It’s really nice to be able to have this moment of peace. 

I chose a book in the romance section and sat at one of the home tables while Legend looked for whatever it was he wanted. I got involved in the story enough to stop paying attention to my surroundings, so much so that I didn’t even notice the exact moment when the hero sat in front of me, with a large pile of books that almost completely blocked my view of him, and prevented me from seeing what he was reading at the moment. But, assuming it’s something similar to the rest of the pile, it must be something about... planting techniques? Oh, right, he probably doesn’t want me to know. 

I just shrugged it off, I’m not going to get involved in anything I’m not called to, or else he’ll end up mad at me. I continued reading the book I chose, but it didn’t take long for me to finish it, sighing in delight at the book’s happy ending. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever experience something like that. I got up to get another book, repeating the whole process again.  

◇ 

It was late when we finally left, I was starving and Legend seemed dissatisfied, to say the least. It seems his search wasn’t as successful as he would have liked. Well, at least I got to enjoy myself reading some good books. 

— Did you manage to find what you wanted? – I risked asking, trying to break the silence that remained between us during the walk back to the inn. 

— Hm, yes, it just wasn’t what I expected. 

— I see... 

The rest of the way continued in silence, I really didn’t know what to say, if I tried, I would end up asking about what he read, again, and I have a feeling he wouldn’t like that very much. 

When we arrived at the inn, some of the other boys had already returned, they were talking about something in the living room, probably disturbing other guests, and of course I’m going to join them. The Veteran, on the other hand, went straight to his room, without even greeting the others. This only served to make me more intrigued about what he was reading. 

I went to where Wind, Four and Wars were, debating about something I couldn’t understand. 

— You’re back! – The Sailor exclaimed when he saw me. – You won’t believe what I found in the city. There was an entire store just for sweets! Not a bakery, a candy store!  

— Wow, a store that only sells sweets? It sounds like paradise. – I replied, smiling at his excitement for something like that. 

— Isn’t it? But those two annoying people don’t want to go there with me. – He said, looking sullenly at his brothers. 

— Okay, I can go with you later, after I take a bath. 

— Really? Cool, you’re the best! – He hugged me excitedly, almost jumping for joy. 

— Ass kisser. – Wars accused, and received a little punch on the shoulder from the younger one, making me laugh. He deserved it. 

  

  

  

◇◇◇ 

  

  

 It’s been a few hours since I came back from the library with her, and since then I’ve been locked in my room.  I had to control myself, resist the urge to spend more time with her, I can’t give in like this. I thought we could have some nice time together today, but I ended up being so afraid that she might see what I read that we didn’t even talk. 

Oh, yeah, the book I was reading. Stupid, shameful, I can’t believe I’ve sunk to such a low level. It was a book of love tips. But, in my defense, I wanted tips on how NOT to fall in love. I have to admit, I’ve been running this risk for a while, but it won’t happen, I promised myself it wouldn’t happen again, I’m not falling in love. And I’m going to do everything I can to keep it that way. 

Even though it’s so, so hard to keep my distance from her. I’m trying, I swear I am, but what can I do if all it takes is a smile and a look for her to have me in the palm of her hand? That’s why it’s so worrying. Damn girl, why did she have to be so perfect for me?! 

I also can’t stand being locked in this room anymore, I need to go out, walk, I don’t know, anything to distract my mind. I got up from the bed I’d been lying on all this time, put on my cap and left through the bedroom door, going down the stairs lazily, without rushing. 

Laughter coming from the inn’s living room caught my attention. I had to be careful not to get hit in the face by a thrown object. The people responsible for this didn’t even realize it. She and Wind were playing pillow fights, or rather, cushion fights without even noticing their surroundings. What a mess. 

I felt my lips twitch into a silly smile and scolded myself for it. Shitty feelings. I need some fresh air. I hurriedly left the place, being welcomed by the calm night breeze, and I walked through the streets without a real destination. I ended up staying there for so long that it was already dark. I didn’t even notice the time passing, being lost in not-so-welcome thoughts. 

Not wanting to think about these things, I walked, walked and walked. Without stopping, picking up the pace, just to distance myself from all of this. I’m not sure how, I just know that when I realized it, I had left the village, now I was walking along a trail in the forest next door. That’s good, this is more my kind of environment, and it’s okay, luckily, I brought my sword with me. I never go out without it. 

The sounds of nature were welcome, they helped me distract myself, to not think about her. Oh, damn it, why won’t this girl leave my mind? No, no way, I know how this ends, that won’t happen, not again. I know very well how this works, it feels so good when you start out, in the end I’ll end up disappointed. I can’t, I’m a hero, I can’t have weaknesses, everything I love is taken away from me. 

I mean, I know she would never do anything to me, she’s not that kind of girl, but I just can’t 

I sighed and leaned against a tree, why do I have to deal with this now? This is not the best time for personal dilemmas. Well, it doesn’t matter, because no matter what happens, I won’t say I’m in love. 

— You won’t say what? – The voice that wouldn’t come out of mine said, making me jump in fright, turning around immediately. 

— What do you think you’re doing here?! 

— I saw you leave the inn and I got worried. It took me a while to find you, I ended up losing sight of you when you went into the forest. I tried to call you too, but you didn’t listen to me, you seemed lost in your thoughts... 

Damn, this girl is still going to be my downfall. 

— Look... forget it, I just wanted to clear my head, okay? Alone. 

— Hm, too bad I followed you then. – She replied with a mischievous smile. 

— Oh no, not at all! Look, little girls shouldn’t be wandering around the forest in the middle of the night, it could be dangerous, now get lost. 

— Sexist! 

— What? That’s not what I meant! 

She just laughed in my face. Oh, that laugh... No, nah uh. 

— Look, if you tell me what’s wrong, I swear I’ll leave you alone. 

— No way, you should leave me alone just because I’m asking. 

— Oh no, that’s not going to happen! 

I rolled my eyes. Stubborn girl. I was going to complain about her attitude again, but when I turned to face her, I saw something in the shadows behind her, something dangerous that was approaching quickly. I acted instinctively, pushing her aside and putting myself in her place in the process, which ended up causing the thing to hit me hard in the back, instead of hitting her. 

I let out a muffled scream of pain feeling the cut that had been inflicted on me, I could feel my blood running down, but the only thing that was going through my mind was if she was okay. I ended up knocking her to the ground, but thanks to Hylia she didn’t seem hurt. I let out the breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding, and turned to face my attacker.   

A lizalfo with a sword, that was my current enemy, who had the audacity to try to hurt my girl. I quickly drew my sword and went towards the monster that tried to attack me again, I dodged it easily and slashed its back. Sweet revenge. I took advantage of its moment of unpreparedness to decapitate the creature, which turned to dust, putting an end to all this. 

I returned the sword to its sheath and ran to the side of the girl who remained on the ground, still trying to understand the series of events. I was able to do a more careful inspection, making sure she was not injured, and I felt relieved about that. I sighed and stood up, helping her to do the same. 

— See? That’s why I told you not to follow me! – I scolded her, I didn’t want to make her feel bad, but I couldn’t let that happen again. 

— You’re hurt, let me see! – She ordered, completely ignoring my complaint. 

— It’s okay, it’s nothing. Now let’s go back to the inn and... 

— “It’s okay” my ass, Link. You have a huge cut on your back, if we go back with you like this you’ll die of bleeding on the way! Now, can you let me examine you, damn it? 

I think it was pretty clear on my face how surprised I was. I never imagined I’d see her so angry, much less for a reason like this. I huffed, looking away from her without saying anything else, hoping she couldn’t see my red cheeks. What? It was kind of attractive. 

She didn’t say anything else either, just turned me around so she could see my wound, trying to push aside the torn clothes to get a better look at the cut, making me hiss in pain. 

— Well done, that was for being reckless. – She started to scold me, but I kept quiet, with a frown. – Come on, you were trying to die? Do you realize how stupid you were? 

To avoid saying more than I should, I kept quiet. She kept talking while cleaning my wound with a small kit that each of us carried. 

— Look, I’ve noticed for a while now that you’ve been acting strange, talking little, distancing yourself, not even looking at me. Are you avoiding me? Did I do something to you? 

Okay, I knew that at some point these questions would come up, but I’m not ready to deal with them, not yet, I can’t, I won’t. 

— Why are you like this? What’s wrong? Don’t you trust me? If the problem is me, I understand, but you shouldn’t keep this to yourself. I care about you, Legend. 

I can’t, I won’t say this. 

— Say something, don’t just stay silent. Is the problem with me? Does this have anything to do with what you were reading earlier today? 

I won’t say! 

— Come on, say something! What’s wrong with you?! 

— I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, OKAY?! – I screamed, losing control, turning to face her, I could see her backing away because of that. – I ADMIT, I’M IN LOVE, EVERY MOMENT I THINK ABOUT YOU, I CAN’T GET YOU OUT OF MY MIND! I’M AVOIDING YOU BECAUSE I’M SCARED, I’M AFRAID OF FALLING IN LOVE, BUT EVERY MINUTE THAT I’M AWAY FROM YOU SEEMS LIKE ETERNAL TORTURE! I LOVE YOU, DAMN IT! NOW, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? HERE IT IS, THE TRUTH! NOW PLEASE, DON’T TORTURE ME ANYMORE!   

When I finally stopped screaming and venting, my breathing was irregular, I was gasping for air, and regret washed over me at the same time. Holy shit, that was the worst way to confess in the world. Fuck, I yelled at her! What kind of jerk yells in the face of the girl he loves? Anguish overcame me, there was no way she would take this well, she should give me a big slap in the face. 

— I... sorry, I didn’t- 

My speech was interrupted when, with impressive speed, she kissed me. Just like that, she held my face between her hands and pulled me close, kissing me intensely and leaving me motionless for a moment. When I finally understood what was happening, I was quick to reciprocate, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer, closing my eyes to better enjoy this moment which I only imagined was possible in dreams. 

Unfortunately, we had to separate to get some air. I intended to go back at the same time, not at all willing to miss this opportunity, but she stopped me, which caused me some despair. Did she regret it? 

— I love you too, idiot. – She said smiling and then went back to kissing me, but quickly pulled away again, concluding with a more serious voice. – But don’t yell at me again! 

I just nodded frantically, she smiled and went back to kissing me, and I couldn’t feel more satisfied. I think it’s okay to say I’m in love. 

[aniesvision]

𐂃 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚- 𝑴.𝑺

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒓!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒓𝒖𝒈𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚, 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏, 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕, 𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒍 (𝒇! 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈), 𝒑 𝒊𝒏 𝒗, 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕, 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆, 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇

𝚊/𝚗: 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒆𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒖 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒐 ♡︎ 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏��𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆!!

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒑 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎

3450 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔

Selling weed to drunk teenagers and young adults at parties wasn't my first option, but high school ended a few years ago, I live alone since my parents kicked me out of their house and college is expensive as fuck. I tried to get a normal job, but my classes were taking a lot of time and it wasn't working out. Maybe it could, but I felt like I was going to explode any second, and mental health is also expensive so I couldn't afford a therapist if I needed one.

I used to love parties, drinking and dancing with my friends, just running away from all the responsibilities. Now I hate them. I have to talk to people I don't like, people I don't know, weird guys that give me what I need to sell and then I get back barely enough to pay my bills. They're not exactly dangerous, but I don't have the energy to fight back and ask for more.

My luck was to become friends with a girl in college who knew influencers and got us in a few parties. Honestly it wasn't a surprise that almost all of them used something, I mean, they have to find a way of going through life and sometimes getting high is a great escape from reality. I do it myself and I don't even get hundreds of comments about everything I do online.

Since they were all rich or close to being rich I always charged more than normal. They could pay and I needed that money, so it's only fair. Funny thing though it's not all influencers are assholes and I ended up getting involuntarily closer to one of them.

Matthew Sturniolo. Didn't seem like the kind to use stuff, and didn't look like he had done it before when I handed him a joint. I had to teach him how to smoke, something I've never done before to anyone, and when I realized his shaky hands and bouncy legs I immediately caught the reason he even asked for it.

We talked a lot the day we met, even told him my number in case he wanted more weed, but deep down I was curious and hoped he would text me so I could see him again.

When days later he called me wanting more I was surprised. First because he called, not texted like everyone does, second because for some reason I could feel through the tone in his voice that he felt the same he did at that party. He was beyond anxious and I felt bad, he seemed decently nice to be in the environment he was in that day, but I guess he needed to be present.

I found out he's a triplet, and his brothers had no idea that he wasn't sober anymore like the other two. I wonder if they're also as nice and calm as he is, at least he talks about them with love so I think they're all really close.

I have no idea why, in fact, it's a really bad thing for him to trust me enough to get in my car and smoke with me without even knowing me, but I was glad he did. It was the first time I was hanging out with a customer, and I wasn't mad at all. I did the talking for a few minutes, watching as he visibly calmed down, and eventually started talking back.

When he left I made sure to warn him about the smell so he could take a shower before his brothers noticed, and when I drove back to my place I couldn't stop wondering if he'd call me again.

But this time he texted. And he was alone, so he asked if I wanted to smoke with him inside his house. It was a bad idea, clearly a huge red sign, and I still said yes. We know a little bit about each other by now, and he had the opportunity to do anything when he got into my car, yet he seemed more like a scaredy cat than anything else, for him I probably looked like the dangerous one.

Matt is cute, all shy, but kind. More of an introvert, he gets anxious a lot, but have things to help him, and people, weed shouldn't be on the list. It was the third time we saw each other, the third time smoking together, third joint I had sold him, and I was already starting to regret selling him.

-Why did you want to smoke? -I ask, holding my joint in between my fingers and looking at him.

His smile falters as he processes the question, taking a deep breath before deciding to open up.

-I think my anxiety was getting worse and I couldn't find anything to help me anymore. I didn't want to bother my brothers, they have their own things going on as well.

I nod, feeling more empathy for him than I probably should. Talking to him felt like talking to a normal boy, not like talking to those internet famous people who somehow became "famous". He was genuine, he was showing true feelings and being relatable, I just couldn't help feeling like he was my friend and I had to help him, or try to.

-What did you do when you felt like this?

I take another hit, carefully placing my joint down and kicking off my shoes to get more comfortable on the couch. He follows my movements with his eyes.

-Journalling, going on walks, nature, fortnite. –He chuckles, looking to the other side. -I like seeing animals, watching movies, I don't know, anything that could distract me.

I smile, nodding and taking a sip of water from the third bottle we've opened since we started smoking.

-That's cool. Why don't they seem to work anymore?

He shrugs, taking the last hit before throwing the finished joint into a bowl. The smoke left his lips smoothly, now being more used to the feeling and not coughing, eyes turning slightly red as the effects hit him.

-I don't know. They don't feel the same, it's like I'm losing interest, y'know? -He asks, with his accent showing up.

I nod once again, knowing exactly what he meant. That's one of the reasons why I started smoking, years ago, and knowing how I just simply cannot live without it I feel responsible for making Matt realize this is not a good option and there are other ways of making the anxiety disappear. I don't want him to be like me.

☘︎☘︎☘︎

Matt has texted me at least once a week for the past three weeks and it was starting to worry me how badly he needed more. Smoking more than one joint, smoking alone, I warned him I wouldn't sell him that much, but he was getting used to the idea of not thinking about his problems while high and our texts were no longer just about him wanting to buy stuff.

We talked every day. I tried to keep it as superficial as possible, but it was no use since we ended up opening up to each other. I told him my reason for selling, almost all that happened in my life, and I knew so much about him too. My concerns only increased as the days went by and now, with him in my apartment for the second time this week, I knew I had to do something about it.

-Long time no see. -I joke, seeing him at my front door.

His face said what he didn't need to, he was almost panicking, sweating, pink cheeks, glossy eyes, shaky hands. He didn't seem healthy at all, and it was hurting me to know that part of it was my fault. I gave him access to drugs, I showed him how to smoke.

-I need one. -He sighs, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

We sat down on my couch, him watching me intently as I started rolling a couple of joints.

-That bad, huh? –I ask, my voice sounding a bit lower than normal. -You know I can't keep selling you this shit, right?

I look at him, my eyes sending him a warning. We talked about it before, I had to bring up how much he was contacting me for drugs and how much I disliked it.

-I know, I'll stop, I just feel really bad right now. -He tells me, but I had no trust that he'd actually stop.

-I hope so, I care about you, Matt. You're not just my customer, you know that.

My voice was soft, full of sincerity, and he knew that, his eyes also softening when he realized he was being too much.

-I just need to find other ways to deal with it. -He looks down, almost embarrassed, fidgeting his fingers.

There's a silence for a minute, all we ever talked about, how much I worry about him, how I feel responsible for him, how I'm so grateful we met and how much I hate to see him like this, all going through my mind. I couldn't bear to watch him suffer and fill him with drugs to make it go away, because I knew that it wouldn't, it just makes things worse.

I'm not an addict, at least not to the point it makes my life harder, I just use weed whenever I'm stressed, which is a lot. Although, I have the strength to do what I need to and that's good for me, it means I'm still healthy enough to go through my stuff. But Matt isn't. He doesn't seem or act healthy, and although is not just because of the weed, I think it makes him feel like he can only do stuff when he's high. And that is dangerous.

I try to think about other ways of making him feel better. My tongue sealed the first beck, putting it aside as I worked on the second one. There weren't many options, all the things he used to like seem boring to him now, and there's not much we could do. He needs something that makes both body and mind work at the same time, something that makes him tired, makes him feel.

I was reluctant to ask him what came into my mind, but as I saw him become impatient and my fingers close the second beck, I knew I had to do something, and I had to do it now.

-Matt, would you fuck me? -I ask, sealing the second beck and putting it aside.

I could've worded it better, but I felt desperate to avoid him smoking again. His eyes widen, jaw falling in surprise. I was also surprised with myself, but if I'm being honest it wasn't the first time I asked this, the only difference is that I usually ask it to myself, in my brain, not out loud, not to him.

-What?!

-You heard me.

Saying it once was enough, I had no courage to ask him twice, but at least it was kinda working, he stopped fidgeting his fingers and didn't even look at the joints that I discreetly set on the coffee table.

He seemed to think about it, processing my words, eyebrows raising as his eyes looked everywhere but at me. He licks his lips, placing each hand on each side of his body.

-I mean, yeah, I guess, but why?

His answer was not what I expected, but I didn't know what to expect. It made my heart beat faster and now I felt like the shy anxious one. I never did this before, nothing that I did with Matt I did before in my life with anyone else. Being friends with a customer is not usually the best idea, most of the time it's not even possible, but more than that?

He knows me. He truly does, and I know him, as much as he lets me. This is not just a common selling-buying relationship, it's way past that.

-Well, sex is a decent way to help with your anxiety, better than drugs.

I explain, my voice slightly shaky, eyes meeting his awkwardly, hoping I was making any sense.

When he studies me with his eyes I feel nervous, he could pay for the weed and go away, never talk to me again, say all the worst things he could think of.

Instead, he only nods, face turning serious.

-Do you want to do it or do you just want me to quit the weed so bad you're considering it?

His words caught me by surprise, but by now I shouldn't be surprised with anything anymore. Although it was kind of a harsh statement, I knew where he was coming from and the tone in his voice showed me he was as hesitant as I was.

-I do want you to quit, but I wouldn't do it just because of it. -My answer was clear, and almost a relief, for both of us.

There was another silence, not long, but that carried all the emotions and uncertainties both of us had at the moment.

-I get anxious a lot. -Matt says, half joking, half teasing.

Feels like we got ourselves an agreement, and I just know things are changing drastically between us now.

-I'm aware of that. -I joke back.

We smile at each other, taking in the final moment of acceptance before Matt's lips are on mine. I quickly kiss him back, our lips moving slowly at first, savoring each other's taste. There was a pause to breathe that didn't last long until we were kissing again.

With those two kisses I was more than happy with myself for thinking of such a good way of helping him, if I wasn't sure why I felt the urge to do something about it now it was crystal clear. I like him. Talking to him, being his dealer, being his friend, getting to know him, caring about him, it might or might not be in a romantic way, but I like him, a lot.

Feeling his lips on mine, our tongues brushing together, him carefully laying me down on the couch and hovering me, with one hand finally holding my waist. I definitely like him, and I like this, I like his touch as much as I like his voice, I like kissing him as much as I like hanging out with him, I like all of him.

Our shirts were on the floor, my bra hanging over the coffee table, his hands exploring my skin as I shivered, eyes connected as he slipped my pants down. His fingers were cold, pressing on my soaked panties, eyes admiring it like a work of art, speechless.

All anxiety in his body left when my last piece of clothes was discarded and his mouth did wonders on me, moans probably pissing off the neighbors as I tried to pull him closer by his hair.

-Fuck, Matt, I'm gonna cum... -I warn him with a whiny voice, back arching and head falling back.

-Please do, wanna taste you so bad. -He barely takes his mouth out of me to say, hands gently caressing my thighs.

My first orgasm with him was surprisingly good, not that I expected it to be bad, but definitely didn't expect it to feel so... perfect. He smiled at me like he was proud, kissing all over my body until his lips found mine again, making me taste myself.

His clothes were soon discarded as well and just by the sight of him I knew I had one more reason to like him. He seemed the calmest I've ever seen him, considering what was happening, a smirk of confidence on his lips proving he knew exactly what he was doing to me. His hand wraps around his length, teasing my folds with his tip and holding himself up with his other arm.

-Wanted to do this for so long, if I knew I had a chance I wouldn't even ask for so much weed just to see you. -He smirks down at me, circling my sensitive clit with his tip.

The feelings were so intense I almost missed what he said, but when my brain processed his words I was shocked. My jaw fell in surprise, eyes widening and my arm lifting so I could slap his arm with my hand, giving him a look of disbelief.

-You're unbelievable, you didn't have to buy anything, or use anything! We could've just hung out. -I say, trying not to smile at the fact he confessed he wanted to see me.

But in awful terms and I felt even more responsible for his acts.

I didn't have time to be mad at him, though, because he decided it was the perfect time to push all of him at once. My gasp was so loud that the entire building probably heard it, my walls fell on fire for a few seconds and he remained in the same position until my expression softened and he started to move.

His confession fully disappeared from my mind when I felt just how good he could feel. It gave me butterflies to feel him moving at a slow pace, keeping eye contact like he wanted to make sure everything was okay. His eyes looked so pretty, dark and full of desire, but also affection.

Matt kisses me again as he fasteners his thrusts, making me moan against his lips. One of his hands grabs one of my thighs, holding it up against my chest, hitting deeper.

-So fucking good. -He whispers, a long breath leaving his lips as his eyes roll back and his head falls.

My nails leave bruises on his back as I feel my second orgasm building up, sounds getting louder and my body squirming non-stop under him. Didn't take long for me to reach it, him following and pulling off just fast enough to paint my stomach with his seed.

After deep breaths and a long hug to calm down, Matt stands up and walks to my bathroom, already knowing how to navigate through my apartment, and comes back with a towel to clean us. When we were done he left me putting on my clothes again to get me some water.

Both decently dressed, a pause to the bathroom and lots of water later, Matt and I sit back on the couch, looking at each other, my head resting on the backrest and his hand moving my hair behind my ear.

-I didn't smoke all the joints I bought. I gave some to my friends who smoke. I only smoked once without you and I hated it. I was too nervous to ask you to just hang out, I wasn't sure if you'd want to, so I kept coming back to buy more because I knew I could spend time with you that way.

His voice was soft and sweet, only sharing his truth with me without being scared of it. Although it was adorable that he wanted to see me so much he found a way he thought it was the best, I hated how unsure he was if I'd want to spend time with him back. I also hated that weed was involved in this.

I smile at him, taking his free hand in mine and interlacing our fingers, rubbing my thumb against his skin.

-Matt, I really like seeing you and hanging out with you, there's no need to feel nervous, weed or no weed I still want you around. Honestly, preferably with no weed, you don't need it, never did.

His eyes showed so much gratitude, almost shining with relief. He smiles back, nodding his head and looking down at our fingers, his other hand still playing with my hair.

-Yeah, it didn't help me that much, but at least it brought you into my life, so I'm grateful for it.

My heart swells with affection, butterflies flying free in my stomach. I reach out to press a soft kiss on his lips, wanting to show him just how much I enjoyed knowing how he feels.

-I'm so happy to have you in my life, Matt. -I whisper, pulling away just enough to say it.

We smile at each other, both of his hands now on my cheeks, cupping them gently.

-Does this mean you'd say yes to a date?

I giggle, nodding and wrapping my arms around him.

-Yes, I'd love to.

➪ @riowritesitall @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @deers4luv @sturncakez @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @faithlia @katie-tibo @monroesturnns @chrisxcherry @shaquilles-0atmeal @fratbrochrisgf @dayzeandhaze @h3arts4harry @star-yawnznn @asherrisrandom @pip4444chris @sturniolo-fann @beansprout713 @conspiracy-ash @sturnsxbitvh @ivysturnss @mattsbitchh @larallott @stqrnlvs @sssoniaswiftt @s1ut4chris @lovingregulusblack @sturnslutz @star-yawnznn @jupiter-rebel

[sir-kettle-of-countertop]

I'm exhausted after doing final assignments the whole day while sick. And I'm just haunted by so many ART PLANS and OC SHIT and AAA HELP I'LL EXPLODE

So to just indulge myself a bit, I gonna bring up one of the many things that haunt me:

HER. OC still in development. In part cause there's one thing I'm afraid of doing which is piling Too Much shit onto her narrow shoulders. Criticism and help really appreciated ><

WALL OF TEXT BELOW THE CUT:

Who is she?? Kanarie, KAER, Catalyst-, Supervision-, Empathy. Gen 6 support bioresonant unit - commonly addressed by her title as Kommissar (Commissary).

What does she do? Well firstly, performs regular inspections of the state of AEON facilities and specifically does check-ups on mental health/persona degradation state of Replikas. Kanarie, in a way similar to Falke, has an aura to her, but not of divinity and authority, but rather of amity and approachability - you can't help but open up to her! She seems so nice, after all! So it's very easy for her to do an assessment by just going around and chatting. She cannot peer into the memories unlike Kolibris, but she has an uncanny ability of understanding exactly what another person feels at any given moment and give a highly accurate judgement of character.

Based on that she compiles a report of recommendations for usually an Adler unit on what to do to about any given Replika. Which ranges from "provide Aras with more flowering plants" to "here's a list of every single unit that needs to be decommissioned and why" - and she doesn't ever flinch about the latter. The opposite really. She's ALWAYS peppy. She's just happy to be doing a good job for the betterment of the Nation! All inefficiencies must be ironed out, they must understand it anf be willing to die for the greater good. She's doing them a favour. Really :)

Her other purpose is being a walking "bioresonance catalyst" - enhancing the efficiency of and also amplifying bioresonance influence. Any and all bioresonant influence, at all times no matter what. Thus if there's any bioresonant hazard, for example - Kanarie is always the first to get hit with it. Being a. You guessed it. Canary in the coalmine.

Kanarie had a very young neural pattern - think something like 18-19 years old. Golden kid, sweet and very smart, but very naive and sheltered, with highly idealistic black and white thinking. Her persona stabilises by helping people and feeling useful - Kanaries are thus allowed to get distracted from their job to go do something else, like for example help a radio station officer.

She used to have another purpose, which was actually something she was originally created for - using her "friendly AoE" to keep people docile. Buuuuuut that didn't... work out due to a very odd issue about her bioresonant abilities:

No matter what, if a Gestalt remains within her general vicinity - think being in the same building - and keeps interacting with her regularly, in this case strictly more than weekly... that Gestalt will inevitably be consumed by either murderous rage towards her and will kill her, or get overwhelmed with primal fear and try to get as far away from her as possible - or kill her in "self-defence" if that fails. Usually leaving lasting psychological damage as a result - cause people affected by it have full memories of WHAT they were doing and what they were thinking whilst being controlled by bioresonant suggestion against their will, creating very strong cognitive dissonance. And ending up traumatized by being forced to brutally murder a defenceless girl.

AEON fucked with universe a bit too hard and accidentally made a Replika that passively tries to destroy herself.

Curiously enough persona-stable Replikas don't get affected by the "fight or flight" aura but persona-degraded do. As a result, if it's a rare case of it genuinely being REALLY hard to actually assess if somebody is persona-degraded or not? Just wait a little 'til a Canary stops singing

So yeah what do y'all think is this a good idea or is it cringe

[friendly-books]

All systems red Read and Review

@popkin16 this one's for you

Sci-fi time! One of my favorite genres, let’s go!

All system red

“I could have become a mass murderer after I hacked my government module, but then I realized I could access the combined feed of entertainment channels carried on the company satellite. It had been well over 35,000 hours or so since then, with still not much mudering, but probably, I don’t know, a little under 35,000 hours of movies, serials, books, plays, and music consumed. As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure.” pg. 6 Good start to a book and Murderbot has their priorities right

“I was looking at the sky and mentally poking at the feed when the bottom of the crater exploded.” pg. 7 Oh no

“The hostile that had just exploded up out had a really big mouth, so I felt I needed a really big gun.” pg. 8 Flawless logic

“I had lost the armor on the left arm and a lot of flesh underneath, but my nonorganic parts were still working.” pg. 8 Wait so the robot has flesh parts?

“Murderbot aren’t allowed to ride with the humans and I to have verbal permission to enter.” pg. 11 Boo robot revolution let’s go

“Fortunately, the rest of the humans yelled “No!” at the same time, and Pin-Lee added, “For fucks sake Ratthi!” pg. 12 Ha

“Performance reliability at 60% and dropping”  pg. 13 Interesting

“(I hadn’t needed the uniform because I hadn’t been patrolling inside the habitat. Nobody had asked for that, because with only eight of them and all friends, it would be stupid waste of resources, namely me.)” pg. 15 Aw poor Murderbot

I assume the robot pov is murderbot

“Are you all right? I saw your status report.” pg. 16 Oh I think Dr. Mensah cares

“Muderbot + actual = awkwardness” pg. 18 Ha

I like Murderbot’s narration

“(He did have kids. He was in a four-way marriage and had seven, all back home with his partners.)” pg. 19 Oh polyamorous cool

“Human clients usually like to pretend I’m a robot” pg. 22 Are you not??

“After a subjective half hour and an objective 3.4 seconds” pg. 23 Ha

“Something’s been deleted from the warnings and the section on fauna.” pg. 24 Ohhh something’s afoot

“It was why, if I forced myself to admit it, I had actually been enjoying this contract, up until something tried to eat me and Bharadwaj.” pg. 24 Aw murderbot kinda likes the crew

“I’m out of practice at controlling my expression. Right now I’m pretty sure it was somewhere in the region of stunned horror or maybe appalled horror.

Mensah sat up, startled. She said hurriedly, “Or not, you know, whatever you like.” pg. 28 Ha

“(I don’t have any gender or sex-related parts (if a construct has those you’re a sexbot in a brothel, not a Murderbot) so maybe that’s why I find sex scenes boring. Though I think that’s even if I did have sex-related parts I would find them boring) pg. 30 I think you may just be asexual and aromatic Murderbot

Wait wait, are all robots sentient? Do they all have government module? I’m concerned

“They had talked it over and all agreed not to “push me any further than I wanted to go” pg. 33 Good for the crew to respect boundaries

“Arada looked like it was just occurring to her that everybody over at DeltaFall might be dead.” pg. 40 Oh no

“The practice is disgusting, it’s horrible, it’s slavery. This is no more a machine than Gurathin is-“ pg. 47 Preach!

So either a creature might have gotten Delta Crew or maybe bad work conditions because the company is cheap or maybe the Secunits went rogue wild guesses

“No one outside, no one answering the comms. Unless they had all jumped in their surface vehicles and gone off on vacation, leaving their Hub and SecUnits shut down, they were dead. Pessimism confirmed.” pg. 52 Dun dun dun

“Also empty, silent, the smell of decaying flesh drifting through the my helmet filters.” pg. 57 Oh no

“There were eleven messily dead humans in the hub” pg. 57 Oh no

“Nobody was touching my humans” pg. 58 Murderbot cares

“To make sure of that I had to kill these two rouge SecUnits” pg. 58 So we’re going with the rouge SecUnits theory

“The dead unit was probably been killed by a mineral survey tool, like a pressure or sonic drill.” pg. 59 Good to know that the humans can defend themselves against the SecUnits

“Then something stabbed me in the back of the neck.” pg. 64 Oh no

“Mensah standing behind it, holding what looked a lot like the sonic mining drill from our hopper.” pg. 65 So cool!

“So I grabbed the handweapon laying on the seat, turned it toward my chest and pulled the trigger.” pg. 68 Ahhh

“My clients are the best clients.

Then hearing came online.” pg. 70 Ha

“This unit was already a rouge. It has a hacked governor module.” pg. 71 Oh no they know

“This Unit has killed people before, people it was charged with protecting. It killed fifty-seven members of a mining operation.” pg. 73 Oh no why?

“SecUnit, do you have a name?”

I wasn’t sure what she wanted. “No”

“It calls itself ‘Murderbot’

“That was private” pg. 75 Gurathin that’s rude and an invasion of privacy

“Ratthi said, “The one where the colony’s solicitor killed the terraforming supervisor who was the secondary donor for her implement baby.”

Again, I couldn’t help it. I said, “She didn’t kill him, that’s a fucking lie.”

Ratthi turned to Mensah. “It’s watching it.” pg. 75 Ha and I love that Ratthi is also a nerd

“I rolled off the table, grabbed Gurathin by the throat and pinned him to the wall.” pg. 76 Oh no

“She’s a really good commander. I’m going to hack her files and put that in. If she had gotten angry, shouted, let the others panic, I don’t know what would have happened.” pg. 76 I like that Murderbot likes Dr. Mensah

“What do we when they come here?”

I said, “Be somewhere else.” pg. 85 Yep

Something is different with Dr. Mensah I’m not saying she’s a space Indiana Jones but she’s different from the rest of the scientists

“(I do think of it as a person,” Gurathin said. “An angry, heavily armed person who has no reason to trust us.)” pg. 87 Gurathin is right tho

“A drone was sending me an emergency signal.” pg. 89 Oh no they’re here

“She was looking a little off to the side, trying not to make eye contact, which I appreciated.” pg. 94 That’s nice of Dr. Mensah

“It would be better if they could think of you as a person who is trying to help. Because that’s how I think of you.

My insides melted.” pg. 95 Awww :)

“You don’t know who we are? They didn’t tell you?” pg. 97 Oh are the scientists important people?

“You don’t need me to look at me. I’m not a sexbot.” pg. 97 No one said you were. Why would you say that Murderbot?

“So he had been testing me.” pg. 98 Smart but what was Gurathin’s plan for if it worked?

“Mensah sent me a private through the feed: I hope you’re all right.” pg. 98 Aw

“There was no rational reason for me to sound like a whiny human baby.” pg. 98 Ha

“I panic all the time, you just can’t see it, I told her. I added the text signifier for “joke” pg. 99 Ha

“Because Dr. Mensah is our political entity” pg. 102 Cool

“They were trying to purge my memory.” pg. 106 I don’t know what’s worse complete memory wipe or only partial memory wipe

“GrayCris” pg. 109 Evil survey team has a name. Could it be a company?

“And then I had a great idea” pg. 111 Well it’s either going to be a great idea or a terrible idea

“Then she nodded firmly and said, “Good Luck” pg. 114 Aw

“The only people I’ve run into who actually want to get into conversation with SecUnits are my weird humans.” pg. 115 They want to be your friends

“I know I said SecUnits aren’t sentimental about each other, but I wish it wasn’t one of the DeltaFall units.” pg. 121 Poor DeltaFall Units

“Unit offline” pg. 127 Oh no

“Shut up,” Mensah snapped, “You shut the fuck up. We’re not leaving you.” pg. 128 Yay!

“Good news! Dr. Mensah has permanently bought your contract! You’re coming home with us!” pg. 129 Yay but maybe talk to Murderbot about what it wants

Pin-Lee is a lawyer? Why did the crew bring a lawyer with them?

“three maternal partners” pg. 135 Mensah is polyamorous

“Guardian was a nicer word than owner” pg. 136 Ouch, let’s go robot rebellion

“I don’t know what I want. I said that at some point, I think. But it isn’t that, it’s that I don’t want anyone to tell me what I want, or to make decisions for me.” pg. 137 Yes!

“That’s why I left you, Dr. Mensah, my favorite human. By the time you get this I’ll be leaving Corporation Rim. Out of inventory and out of sight.

Murderbot end message” pg. 137 Aww Dr. Mensah is Murderbot’s favorite human :)

Final thoughts

I enjoyed the book. I liked Murderbot and I thought it was funny. I like Dr. Mensah. I want there to be a robot rebellion. No Bi moments as Murderbot is asexual and aromatic but I’m sure I can make a list of something about Murderbot. I do wish we got more interaction between the crew and Murderbot. Onto Artificial Condition

[joffyworld]

Hundred

So uhhhhhhh. Never thought I'd say this. But we hit 100 followers somehow and they're like 98% actual people!

Soooooooo, I just kinda wanna say I'm really glad you guys enjoy my enthusiasm for your arts and crafts. Every time I see an upload from anyone I follow my heart damn near explodes. I meant every word of my "A Celebration" post and I wish I could @ every single person I follow and find joy in every day, but that'd be around 300ish @'s and I don't wanna flood that on you poor people.

You're all amazing, some of you have even had some private conversations with me that I took A LOT of joy in that you even gave me the time. I haven't really made a thing of it, but behind the whole "Joffysona" I do struggle myself with mental health issues pretty severely at times, and that's part of why I spent so much time uplifting other people, that it makes people feel good about THEMSELVES makes ME feel good too. There's no greater joy than knowing I have made someone happier, and to have 100 people have found some kind of silly enjoyment from my inane ramblings? That's incredibly heart-warming.

I love you all, whether you follow me or not, I cherish every day we all exist on the same planet and I wish I could give you all insane amounts of money and hugs and wealth and time and the cures to everyone's problems, because you ALL deserve them!

You're all amazing, it's been a month and a bit of non-stop joy and it doesn't look like it's gonna slow down. Thanks for making me happy I guess?

Because seeing you happy? That makes me happier than anything

Love you guys,

Joffrey <3

[bloggingboutburgers]

I admire you so much for being able to share your experiences as an aro ace. It’s so funny, because most of my community knows I’m aro ace, but like, I’m so scared of sharing my personal experience and I think it’s because of how much it hurts to think of that part of my life.

The number of years I spent thinking I was broken because I didn’t feel any kind of attraction to others, forcing myself to date in the hopes that it would “just click” like people kept telling me, getting stressed and mentally distraught when I tried to force myself to show any sort of affection… It’s a hard thing for me to relive a lot of that. I very distinctly remember trying to kiss a guy I was dating that I didn’t want to kiss, but felt I needed to. I spiraled into such a bad panic attack that I drove two hours in a terrible blizzard just so I could get back home to what I felt was a safe place.

I think the hardest part for me was people not understanding my aro ace-ness. The difficulties of simply having a male friend around and having to listen to people constantly ask me if I have a crush on them, then acting as if I’m being coy when I say no (even though there’s no indication of that in my voice). I started dreading inviting my friend to events for that specific reason.

When I did try to date, all it did was add more stress to my life. I was constantly expected to be spending every free moment I had with these guys, and I didn’t want to do that. I don’t think it clicked with my family until I broke down in a hysterical sob one day because of how much guilt-tripping was being done to me when I told them I didn’t want to hang out with him.

And the icing on the cake… the number of times I’ve been told to find a partner because “they don’t want me to reach 50 and be alone and miserable.” To be told that romance is the only way you’ll find true happiness… it’s painful. To be told that the things that bring you joy are not true happiness, that your platonic relationships mean nothing in the grand scheme of things… it hurts far more than anyone realizes.

I should probably stop here, ‘cause I’m getting all choked up, but I guess the bottom line is, thank you so much for sharing your experience and making me feel validated. It means so much to me. Keep being awesome, my friend 💕

I'm so sorry for all the hardships... I recognize myself so much in a lot of what you're sharing. I hate in particular that people act like "ending up alone and miserable" is 100% on you, like THEY don't have a say in that and a role to play in that and they're not basically actively contributing to that alienation RIGHT NOW. If people cared about anything beyond a sexual or romantic partner and kids, if people remembered that friendship is a thing and it's a thing that oughta matter, that would solve the problem much better than forcing everyone to conform against their will.

The only reason I feel comfortable enough to say I'm aroace at this point is because one day when I was 21, a girl I told it to just replied "Oh, okay", which was the first time in my life I ever got a reply like this and not a slew of questions or dismissal. That made my brain explode. In a good way. I'll always be grateful for her, she probably will never know how much. She opened up the door for me to be vocal about myself more confidently and build the invaluable support system of friends, and my partner, and my family, that I have today, and that in turn works as a virtuous circle.

And the only reason I feel comfortable sharing it in the form of comics now is because I did once in 2022 during asexual awareness week just to try some vent art for fun, and people didn't ignore it, or didn't dismiss it, but actually reacted positively to it. That encouraged me to make more. The reason I'm this comfortable and vocal about it online today is thanks to you guys here reading this. Having a positive reaction to what IS pretty much vent art disguised as comedy also shows me I'm not alone. This whole thing is mutual. So thank YOU, and thanks to anyone reading my stuff, for also making me feel validated.