#to my parents

[kkglinka]

Ava will be the worst prophet ever, once she returns. Like, "Hey let's all get together on Friday! All you can eat buffet, then hit a rave!!! :D

[severeinternetparadise]

i wish you’d get it

I wish you’d work so hard, just to be told off.

Just to be pushed to the limit yet again.

And when you break down, you’re told that “crying is weak”

I wish you’d realize how hard I’m trying. How far I’m going to make you proud of me. 

Rather than pointing out my flaws, look at my accomplishments.

You forget you have flaws. You forget that you are human.

You think you’re a god. But you’re not.

I wish you accepted me as I am, with all the bits and pieces of persona that are coming together, rather than destroying the pieces you don’t like.

I don’t belong to you.

Stop blowing out my flame; it’s wind-resistant.

Stop trying to cut me out of the picture; I have glue.

Stop thinking you rule me; I rule myself.

Stop trying to destroy me; you’ll never win.

I wish you’d get it. I wish you understood.

Understand what?

Me.

-The Vedaissance

[skitna]

at all :)

[ilostyou]

ok guys i’m gonna go home now wish me luck <3

[morganbritton132]

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

[fairycosmos]

recognising your parent's mannerisms in yourself and physically feeling psychic damage occur

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[camilleflyingrotten]

[runawaymarbles]

the "is it ok to have sex when your kids are in the house" thing is so funny to me because like. if you have lived with both of your parents at the same time there's a 99.5% chance they have had sex while you were in the house. if you co-slept then your parents probably had sex while you were in the same bed. this is the gender neutral bathroom debate all over again.

[eggsistential-breakdown]

Okay, but hear me out -- what if his parents weren't usually red and blue?

[taffywabbit]

they should invent a new type of "staying in bed for 2-3 hours after you wake up repeatedly opening and closing apps on your phone" where it makes you feel awesome and energized and emotionally fulfilled

[worm-on-my-way]

hc that danny just sees wanda and cosmo's true forms

[muted-eternity]

Today on conversations I wish I could have with my parents...

-- -- --

I'm exhausted. "Why?" you ask. "How could you be exhausted the way that you are while you live your life the way you do? How are you exhausted?"

The real question is: how could I NOT be exhausted?

This week will be the first week in a long time that I have worked full shifts 5 days in a row. For many, many, many people that is the norm. If they are exhausted by it, it is all but background noise now. For some, like my dad, it's just a fact of life. You work all week, nonstop, for hours on end, and yeah you're exhausted by the end of it. But that's life. That's work. (That's late-stage capitalism.) That's how it works.

But please consider, just the once, that it has not been my norm. Consider, just today, that I am mentally ill and have perhaps been chronically burnt out or cascading through the atmosphere into burnout for the last three years.

No, I don't work 40 hours a week. No, I don't pay many bills because I live at home. No, I am not homeless or at war or starving or any of the other high-stress, truly exhausting things you might through at me. Yes, I am privileged enough to still live with my parents (for all the damage its caused us...).

And, actually, yes I am too young to feel like this. To feel bone-deep mental fatigue that wears me down and saps my energy and makes me want to lie on the floor and feel and do and see and hear and be nothing for a while. I am too young to have survived years of crippling depression and suicidal ideation. I am too young to fear that I might never climb out of this hole your generation put me in. I am too young to be fearing a world war. I am too young to in debt and financially struggling. I am too young to fear that I might never, ever own a home or live a comfortable life because my country might not exist in a decade or two, at the rate its going.

I am too young! You're right! That's what makes it so damn wrong to feel this way.

Not only is work tiring (I work retail 3-6 days a week with an inconsistent schedule that fights my circadian rhythm and drains me emotionally, mentally, and physically), but so are my other two "jobs." In addition to my "real" job, I'm struggling to build up my artistic portfolio so I can actually get a job in my field. A field that might not exist in a few years if the studios that employ my heroes don't get their shit together. I also manage this fucking house because my dad can't, because he works too much (for context: he's the director of a niche museum. He gives himself his own giant workload. He doesn't have to). So there are also those 2 things to worry about, and of course the crippling fear of someday becoming obsolete in the face of AI.

Then there's the state of the world, oh, don't get me started! You want to talk about exhaustion? There are (were) over 800,000 Palestinian people in Gaza this time last year. Now, anywhere from 10-20% of them could be dead -- that's 80,000-200,000 people. That's 80,000-200,000 people who I've watched die on my phone. My exhaustion is nothing compared to that of the survivors. I am not a victim of genocide, and I am still exhausted watching them. There is a genocide happening thousands of miles away and it's a constant weight on my mind, and I'm so fucked up I can't even do anything about it because I'm too goddamn tired...

I can't help them. How sick is that? How sick is it to be watching them beg and die on my phone screen thousands of miles away in the United States of America, the country whose military supplies their oppressors, and not do anything about it? I have to live with my in action. I have to live with the fact that, right now, the best thing I can do for them is keep myself alive, and talk about when I have the energy. Someday, I can help. Someday, I won't be a wreck...

Someday, maybe, the rest of the world will realize the weight those of us who are watching carry (although it will never match the burdens of those we are watching die before our eyes).

Someday, maybe, it'll click for my parents. That I'm working 30 hours a week and that's nothing to them, but there's so much more to be tired about. There are wars going on that I can't stop. There are lives being lost that I can't prevent. There are stories not being told because I don't have the energy to illustrate them (mine and others'). There is art being and not being made. There is life that I can't live because I'm watching the lives of others be destroyed.

There are political movements to end the existence of trans, queer, mentally ill people like me. There are movements to render disabled people unequal. There are movements trying to silence us, and the media, and anyone who dares speak out against any given regime.

If the wrong candidate wins this fall, a few years down the line I might end up in a concentration camp. Right now, thousands of miles away, hundreds of thousands of people are in a city-wide concentration camp. If the wrong candidate wins, people like me who stand up, are queer, speak out... we could be silenced in more ways than just social.

I haven't felt at home in four years. I haven't been called by a name that feels like mine within my own "home" in almost two. I have to hide my identity from people I grew up with for fear I would drown in the backlash from everyone else. The stupid "I'll pray for you"s and the "you don't know what you're doing"s and the insistence that I'm sick, sinful, broken, wrong... I couldn't handle it. I can't handle thinking about it.

...

And you ask me why I'm tired?

[mantareidraws]

Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂

[utilitycaster]

I should note, I hate the soulmates "we would fall in love in every universe" trope for the aforementioned "where's the tension and interest and really anything worthwhile" reasons. However, "we would find each other in every universe" fucking rips. We would interact meaningfully in every universe but sometimes we are lovers and sometimes we are friends and sometimes we are bitter enemies and sometimes we'd simply both be in the same HOA.

[fairycosmos]

parent-child dynamics are soooo crazy. i love you i resent you i can't stand you i adore you i pity you. and still watching your hair get a little more grey every time i see you makes my stomach feel weird