#trying to be less insecure about main tagging again

[qoldenskies]

SPEAK MORE ON ALLO DONNIE AND ARO LEO favorite moment of this dynamic for me is newsworthy when hypnos tricked by mikey’s disguise and raph+donnie are emotional/proud whereas leo’s just not having it

sometimes im torn between leo just being chronically teenage boy and him being aro but i think its funny if it was a mix of both. its his complete diametric opposition to being cringe and sappy fueling his disgust more than it is his coexisting aromanticism, i actually see him as kind of neutral on the idea of dating overall. i dont think the border between romance and friendship would really make sense to him, overall he wouldn't see the "point" of it especially because the lovey-dovey gestures make no sense to him-- once he's at a more mature point of his life, that is. if he's really close with someone and it'd make them happy, sure.

^^ i couldnt really see leo having the aro experience of feeling like he has to have feelings for someone. i think he'd be surprised when he learns that the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling that people describe is an actual thing??? its a bit of a shock to realize that his complete lack of romantic crushing doesnt stem from no one catching his eye, he's realizing its actually just like. a whole experience he doesnt understand, and he's kind of glad because it sounds COMPLICATED lol (< king commitment issues)

but meanwhile donnie is NOT afraid of being cringe. leo would die if he was cringe but donnie is proudly insanely cringefail, and i cant even say he's rizzless because of it because that is actually somewhat contradicted by mascot melee and it drives me crazy because he is so pathetic but whatever. i see him as having the kind of soppy "teen boy in love for the first time" experience when he falls for someone, it'd be all he talks about for ages. i dont think he'd be the type of person who'd disappear in a relationship but he would definitely have them over all the fucking time LMAO

i could see leo being someone who does kind of have the Aro-Pretentiousness (trust me, i've felt it) where he does genuinely kinda think he's better for being above that shit, but donnie being so aggressively alloromantic is something that would kind of shake that and make him feel disconnected. like he yaps about it so much and leo just gets frustrated at a certain point because it's not something he really gets and he's starting to feel like he's missing something.

keep in mind that leo gets repeatedly accused by raph in canon of being callous/uncaring/duplicitous already, plus he's already kind of emotionally disconnected from other people and not very open about his issues (he's even admitted that everything he says "sounds sarcastic", meaning he struggles with tone just like donnie may)-- i feel like this could be another factor that plays into leo's preexisting insecurities. he feels like there's a wall between him and other people, and learning there's a whole other facet of the "human experience" that he's restricted from would only serve to make that feeling worse. donnie would not understand why leo is getting so fired up and frustrated about fictional crushes, of all things. what's his problem, why is he so insistent donnie shut up about it? lmfaooo

when it comes to donnie dating i genuinely think leo would be the mocking dipshit brother exaggeratedly making fun of him at every step of the way, to donnie's flustered indignation. but if he has to listen to him pining before that point he is going to be SO pissed off the whole time. like oh my god how is it this hard. just get married already. jesus christ

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“Corpse Groom pt. 2” (Viago x reader)

[part 1]

Requested by @froggoofthrones

Word count: 2,889

Age restriction: 16+ (vulgar language)

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Self Imagery issues/Insecurity, slight crack, happy end (sorta)

Synopsis: Even though you were technically banned from ever seeing Viago, the matter that made you break the silence is no joke and he needs to be warned about it.

Author’s note: The focus here is kind of less on romance and more on the plot (that is a bit cliche), but I’m still happy with how it turned out. It’s the longest oneshot I’ve written so far and it was very fun to write, so thank you for the request!

_____________________________________________

The air was chilly, despite it being the middle of June. Dark gloomy streets were lit up by dim lamps, making faint shadows form on the muddy gray pavement. Unenthusiastic and dull were the steps of many tired people returning from work in the centre of Wellington at this late hour. You walked down the same street, matching everyone’s lack of spring in their step, looking around slowly and trying to examine each and every single person passing by. What if maybe, just maybe, one of them happened to be Viago?

Three months passed since you last talked to him. You saw him once in late April, when he was out on the town with Deacon and Vladislav. Watching him from afar was a bit sobering. He seemed happy. Way happier, than you were, which scared you way more than you’ll ever admit. Viago seemed completely fine. Of course, why wouldn’t he be? He’s immortal, he’s smart, he’s pretty. He can probably get anyone he wants, if he wants them hard enough. And you? You were just you? A human.

You shook your head from side to side, as if trying to displace those unpleasant reflections on your own life. This called for a drink. It’s Friday after all, you could allow yourself to unwind once in a while. Sighing, you turned the corner into a small Pub very ironically named “Dracula”. The place was a bit rundown, but what Pub wasn’t? You took a seat at the counter and asked for a Jim Bim.

Tranquility was surprisingly one of the main qualities of this place. Aside from you, the staff and a group of random people whispering back and forth at the table in the corner, there was nobody. The quiet atmosphere calmed you down and simultaneously made you uncomfortable, because silence inevitably left you alone with your thoughts. Thankfully, it wasn’t for long.

“Hello there, you came for the Mosquito Collectors assembly?” A woman from the group, that was mentioned earlier, came up to you.

“Hey, Uhm… what?” You tilted your head.

“The Mosquito Collectors Club assembly. You’re here for that?” She repeated patiently with a bright smile.

“No.”

She looked you up and down, then sighed in disappointment. “Okay then, have a nice evening.” The woman turned around to leave.

“Wait!” She turned back again. “What is this club?”

“Oh, you’ve never heard of us?”

“No, not really. Am I supposed to?”

“You can come and see.” Her grin reappeared, wider than before.

Frankly, you wanted to go. Mosquito Collectors Club seemed so wacky. Talking to these people was either about to be the most fun you ever had or the most dull and awkward interaction you can imagine. Naturally, you preferred the company of some entomology nerds, than being alone. So you stood up, took your drink and followed her to the table.

“Guys, we have someone new interested in the club.” She said and pointed at you. The others turned their attention to you as well.

“So you hate mosquitos too, huh?” One person asked you.

“Uhh… Yeah, they are pretty annoying to be honest.” You shrugged.

“Oh, annoying is an understatement.” A man on the left said.

“Don’t you feel disgusted by them? Don’t you absolutely despise creatures vile enough to… drink human blood.” A woman in the center of the table questioned.

“I already said it. I don’t really like mosquitos.”

“Well, you see…” The woman, who led you to the table gently patted your shoulder. “…We’re not only talking about mosquitos. There are other creatures. Much more dangerous, but with the same bloodthirsty tendencies. You know who I’m talking about.”

“Vampires.” A breath hitched in your throat. There was no way.

“Yes, vampires. Vampires, who kill and keep killing our closets ones. How can Wellington be tolerant to these creatures, who have no respect for us?”

“That’s why we’re taking matters into our own hands. We’re vampire slayers, you see. And we can teach you to be one too.” You turned to the men at the table again. “What do you say?”

Vampire slayers. You thought that this problem would never arise after Petyr’s tragic death. Yet, here they were in the flesh. What if they hurt Nick, Vlad, Deacon or Viago? Maybe it was best to join them and quietly sabotage their plans from the inside?

This felt stupid. Why should you be protecting the guys, who are hundreds of years old? Surely, they don’t need the help of some scrawny human. They must know how to deal with situations like that. But do they, though? Because last time a vampire slayer found them, somebody died very tragically. They might be old, but not all knowing. They needed you just this one time.

“Yes, I would like that.” You responded after a few seconds of thinking.

The club members unanimously happily congratulated you on joining them and immediately started giving you the rap of what they do, how they do it and what are their plans for the future.

It’s been more than a month since you’ve joined the Mosquito Collectors. They turned out to not be the worst people. Sure, they were terrifyingly violent and suspiciously good at driving stakes through the hearts of silicone dummies. But most of them, had someone very close to them killed by a vampire. Be it a relative, a friend, a partner and even one man’s daughter. You felt really bad for messing with them. They were like some kind of avengers, fighting for what others didn’t understand.

While dating Viago, you pushed back all the thoughts about him killing humans into the back of your mind. Because he was so sweet and nice to you, that you didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he literally needs human blood to survive. You didn’t want to think about jars of blood in their fridge. You didn’t want to think about the corpses buried in their yard. You didn’t want to think about the crimson stains he had on the majority of his clothes.

And yet, here you were, with people who had to suffer the consequences firsthand.

The worst part is that their next affair was raiding a certain vampire residence in the Northern Wellington suburbs. The same address you visited so often just a few months ago. Apparently they weren’t the best at keeping vampirism a secret. Your worst fear came true. They all were in grave danger.

It was around 3am, when you were called into the same “Dracula” bar for an emergency meeting. They told you to bring all your weapons, like crucifixes, stakes and so on with you, which made you all the more nervous about their plans. Everyone was already sitting at the table, so you quickly grabbed a chair and joined them, feeling the tense atmosphere. Your leader Cassie looked at you, then started speaking.

“Now that everyone’s here, let’s discuss this. Initially, we planned to attack on August 13th, which is next Friday…” That’s why you thought you had a whole week to tell vampires about this and you were going to do it tomorrow. You even prepared a whole speech, because you imagined it will be hard to make them listen to you after all this happened. “…But the plans changed, because Marvin over here has to leave the town for that day. So we decided to do it today, as the sun goes down. We can’t risk losing any more time. Who knows how often these things feed. We have to put an end to this.”

The club members cheered, their spirits were evidently up and ready to kick some vampire ass, but your heart shrunk in absolute terror. This was not good. This rapid change of plans… It’s not good. You had to come up with a plan of your own and fast.

“Okay, let’s polish our strategy, before we make a move.” One of the members started, but you interrupted him.

“I’m sorry, can I leave for like… five minutes? I have to take my medicine and I… uhh… I left it in my car.”

“Yeah, sure. Be back soon.” They nodded and you sprinted out of the bar and to the nearest bus stop, taking the first bus to the suburbs.

You rushed there as fast as you possibly could, considering you weren’t the one driving the bus. Once you exited the vehicle, you started running like your whole life depended on it. Your lungs burnt and your legs cramped, but you had to tell them, before the night is through. If something ever happened to them, you wouldn’t forgive yourself.

As your hand reached the front door, you started banging on it loudly and frantically.

“Deacon, open the door, please!” You heard the familiar German accent say. “Thank you!”

The door swung open to reveal Deacon’s already annoyed look. But when he saw that it was you, who was knocking his face soured even more and he immediately tried to close the door back, but you put your boot in the way, to make it stay open.

“Deacon! Stop acting like a child! This is important!” You struggled in the fight for the doorknob, as the young vampire kept trying to shut the door on you. “Come on!”

“We banned you from coming here, mortal!” He hissed.

“Vampire slayers are planning to kill you, morons!” You yelled in final desperation, as you realised that you’re losing this ‘door fight’.

Deacon suddenly let the door open and Vladislav’s head popped from the staircase. Seems you were a bit too loud with your statements.

“Repeat that?” Brücke stepped back.

“There is…” you panted slightly from running and battling at the door. “There is a group of vampire slayers in Wellington, who are planning on raiding your house as soon as the sun goes up. They are really skilled, I’m not joking. You guys need to leave this house right now. Go to Boogie Wonderland or crash at Jackie’s place or mine, I don’t care. Just don’t stay here, I beg you…”

“How do you know that?” Vlad descended to the first floor.

“I accidentally met them at the bar and they told me all this stuff, I…” You collected yourself. “I know, you don’t want to trust me. You don’t have to. But this is really serious, I would never lie about this.”

You looked behind their backs at the two gleaming eyes watching your interaction from the shadows in the hallway. You wondered if you should greet him or let it be. You shook off both thoughts and continued talking.

“It’s four am. They will attack at five, so they are probably already on the way, ‘cause getting here takes a while.” You mumbled.

“Then the whole thing about running away wouldn’t really work, would it?” Deacon shrugged.

“I mean, we could try. I don’t know if staying here would do anything for you, guys.”

“Okay, then we need a plan.” Viago finally appeared from the shadows, briefly meeting your gaze, then immediately looking away.

It’s been almost half an hour and no working plan came. You had dumb ideas of pretending to be dead, killing the slayers instead, leaving them warning signs and other ideas, that were half-baked to say the least. So many powers and yet so little clue how to use it in defence against professionals. This sucked in the most literal way possible.

So you did the only reasonable thing: blew out all the candles in the house, closed the windows and turned off the lights, then hid in the basement. Might seem cowardly, but it’s really not. It’s called survival instinct and vampires had a good grasp on it. If they didn’t, they would probably not stay alive for hundreds of years.

The basement was cold and dusty. Bones and rotting flesh accentuated the disgustingly dirty floor, that you found yourself sitting on. The four of you sat in silence, closely listening to every little noise that came from upstairs. You didn’t know, if it was instinctive or not, but when the sound of a broke window on the first floor reached your ears, Viago moved a bit closer to you.

“This isn’t how I wanted to die…” you whispered.

“Why would you die? It’s not like they can burn you with a crucifix.” Viago answered even less audibly.

“No, but they can stab me with a sharp wooden stake, you know? Humans are not immune to this shit. Plus, I betrayed those guys and they are unhinged lunatics. If they find me, I’m pretty sure they’ll kill me too.” You sighed and silence fell again. There were distant sounds of doors being opened and furniture turned over. “Viago, I’m sorry if I made you feel, like I wasn’t taking our relationship seriously.” He turned to you and even in the dark lighting, you saw his eyes widen. “I’m just not ready for marriage. It’s a big step. Too big for me right now, but… I love you and I really want to be with you and see how it goes. Would you mind… trying again? If we make it out alive, that is.”

Before you could fully finish, his cold lips met yours and you found yourself melting under his soft and gentle caressing of your cheek. He pulled away and left one last little peck, before quietly giggling to himself.

“If this is how I die, maybe it’s not so bad.” He held your hand.

“It’s all great and I’m happy for you, but can you not do this shit now? Even the rats in our basement feel uncomfortable.” Deacon grumbled.

“Right…” you shut up. “Wait… I have an idea. Listen here.” You leaned in and started explaining your very simple, but working scheme.

Upstairs, the whole house was turned inside out. Closets opened, with all the stuff scattered on the floor, the fridge partially taken apart, their caskets stood open, their books on the old carpets. They searched every corner and didn’t find a single vampire, like they planned. Mosquito Collectors were about to go into the basement, when you climbed out of it.

“So, did you find anything, guys?” You casually said, dusting off your pants.

“No… How come you are here? We thought you left.” Cassie said.

“Oh, no way. I thought we were going separately.” You shrugged.

“We literally had a minivan rented out. Okay, whatever. Did you find anything?”

“Not a soul. The basement is empty, so is the attic. Found a few cool books in their library though. They probably left a while ago, because the place seems slovenly.”

“Hmm… You sure the basement is empty?”

“Yeah, yeah. Checked it several times. You don’t have to-“ She walked right past you.

“Oh, I do have to.” Cassandra went downstairs into the cellar.

She lit up a battery powered flashlight and started to examine the dark room. Aside from some creepy remains on the floor and a bunch of rats, shivering from cold in the corner, there was absolutely nothing to see. Empty. She returned upstairs.

“Fine, whatever. Sorry guys, this raid was unsuccessful. But that’s just our first step! Next time we will get those bloodsuckers. Let’s go home.” They all headed for the door, but you stayed. “Are you going, [reader]?”

“Oh, it’s okay, go on without me. I want to take a few pictures for my blog. It will take a while.”

“Well… sun is already up, so I guess you’re safe. Don’t take too long though. Precautions, precautions, precautions.” She pointed her finger at you and you nodded back. “Bye, [reader].”

“Bye, bye!” You waved at the rest as they left the house one by one. When you saw their car drive away, you quickly returned to the basement. “All clear!” You smiled and leaned down to pick up the three rats and hide them in the inside pockets of your jacket.

Going to the second floor, you first put Deacon into his closet, quickly closing the lid to avoid sunlight. You heard a little thud of him turning back into his human form. Then you went into Vlad’s room, closed the blinds tightly and let him go as well. Finally, you made your way downstairs into Viago’s room.

It was a mess. Probably one of the rooms that took the worst damage. You could imagine how upset he is, since neatness is the thing that your dandy is very keen on. You shut the embroidered curtains and gently placed the mouse in the big coffin. It went up in a cloud of smoke and sun transformed into the lovely German you know.

He looked at you with his big brown eyes, that you swore had their own galaxy inside, and smiled. Smiled so affectionately, you felt like there was no four month break in your relationship.

“I’m sorry for rushing you. I just… I guess I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. It’s funny how after all these years I keep acting on impulses.” He chuckled sheepishly.

“Can I sleep with you today? I didn’t sleep through night whatsoever…”

Viago moved, leaving enough space for you to fit in perfectly. You perched inside it and enveloped your limbs around his lanky body. He carefully closed the lid and let the peaceful darkness pass you by.

[dearweirdme]

You say that you are sure Tae went to AYS to spend time with Jk but was going on AYS the only way he could spend time with Jk especially since he didn’t even spend the night with Jk after Jk got back from the US right before AYS? How is it that Jimin was the one going to spend the night at Jk’s place with Jk cooking for him while Tae wasn’t there? Doesn’t that seem odd? Even during AYS itself Tae seemed so disinterested after the first few hours, always on his phone, going to bed earlier than Jimin and Jungkook and then waking up earlier to catch up with other people. It wasn’t difficult to see that he wasn’t exactly doing anything on the show which, which showed him trying to spend time with Jk. Instead I think what we saw was kind of a confirmation of what Jk has said about Tae some years ago when he was asked to described Tae in one word or so and he described him as “lonely” or someone who likes to keep to himself. We could see that clearly in AYS as he did keep to himself majority of the time and spend the other time mostly on his phone. How exactly was that him spending time with Jk? Even while they had meals, I couldn’t help but notice that it was Jimin and Jungkook who mostly interacted with each other while Tae either mostly kept quiet or was on his phone. I know that spending time with someone doesn’t always mean talking to each other all the time but I just couldn’t see Tae actually trying to spend time with Jk at all.

There are a things that I have noticed that when we bring up, some other taekookers are quick to call us insecure about or stuff but I still cannot fathom why on earth Jk would get back from a trip and not be spending that time with Tae and what’s worse, it seemed like Tae didn’t even know that Jm spent the night at Jk’s. Like let’s say Jm just wanted to go hang out with his friend Jk which is totally ok, isn’t that something Tae should know? I also don’t get why he didn’t know that Jk was travelling to Jeju with Jimin until two days before the trip after he saw the group chat. I don’t think they always know every little detail about each other’s schedules but I think a trips are things they should know and we know that Jk knew about this trip well in advance because we saw footage of him and some staff talking about what he would cook while in Jeju so how couldn’t Tae know? He also didn’t seem to know at all that Jk and Jimin weee filming the travel show in New York. I don’t know if you have discussed this before but to me these are way too many things for one’s lover to not know about them don’t you think?

Hi anon!

So, even though I don’t agree with your assessment, part of what you are saying actually supports my theory. ‘How exactly was that him spending time with Jk’… ‘but I just couldn’t SEE Tae actually trying to spend time with Jk at all’….

AYS was work for Jk and Jm. I know certain people hate to read this, but those people are wrong. It was them at work. Tae.. also a bit… but definitely in a different way. More some sort of: I’ll be there tagging along.. I know I’ll be on film… I’ll be doing my own thing also.. less dedicated than Jm and Jk imo. And that.. is exactly why I feel Tae went to Jeju with them because of Jk (and Jm as a bonus) and not because he definitely wanted to be on AYS. You haven’t seen that, because we have only seen a very small percentage of their time there. Yoongi and Tae weren’t kidding when they talked about 90 percent of footage being cut out. So there’s actually no way for us to say how and with whom they spent their time there outside of those three hours of footage (three hours out of the three (?) days they were there).

So again.. Jm and Jk were at work. Tae was a guest. Obviously the main focus would have been on Jk and Jm. That is literally how the show would’ve been edited to keep some sort of tentative storyline going. I suppose they were lucky to have Tae there to fill up some of the footage of day one when Jm was unwell.

What I was talking about in my post though, was tHe stuff that was more in the background. The non-focus stuff. Tae and Jk slotted together with an ease and familiarity that was apparent to literally everyone. So much so that Jkkrs threw tantrums and started complaining about Jk’s behavior. Jkkrs needed to create an outlet for their frustration so they started to make up idiotic reasons to blame Tae (stealing Jm’s swimmingshorts, scooter, and watergun). They started to exaggerate and misinterpret instances between Jk and Tae to be able to say that Jk was putting Tae in his place.. that they didn’t actually want Tae there. And after a couple of weeks it turned into what you are saying now.. that Tae himself didn’t want to be there, that he was bored, that he was only on his phone. What those same people will not value the same is the way Jk was also on his phone a lot during Sapporro. They have no issues being empathetic when it comes to Jm’s stomach issues, but Tae’s neckpain somehow isn’t a reason for him to lay down early and be less active? It’s unfair judgement anon… and it comes from one place.

Jm going to stay over at Jk’s before they left for Jeju has nothing to do with Tae and Jk. I don’t know why this is mentioned. Tae could have easily just had another appointment, he was crazy busy himself during that time (also a reason for why I feel he just wanted to spend time with Jk… they miss each other you know). Since we learned from Jk at Suchwita how fast travelplans and schedules can be planned, I think it very possible Tae learned about it when it dropped in the groupapp because things were planned only then.

Their schedules were so crazy that year. I doubt they kept track of everything. I don’t even attempt to understand what it’s like having a relationship when you’re both that busy. I think in general they just plan to be with each other when time allows it and have to be very flexible because of that. Tae decided to go to Jeju while he was busy himself. He didn’t have to, he wanted to. We have seen instances of him missing Jk intensely (Hawaii, his To find you live) and instances where they went to see each other as soon as (again Hawaii, the Hotel after Dubai, Jk’s voice in Tae’s live). So to me this is not far fetched at all. Imo Tae did know about NY, he just didn’t know the exact location and what they would be doing. He wasn’t surprised to hear they were filming, more concerned about the motorbike 😂.

What we see from Tae and Jk in AYS is closeness and familiarity. They walk and sit together closely. They share phones. They watch each other. They look like a unit to me.

We have actually talked about this a lot. My tag for Ays is:

[a-drama-addict]

for the ask game about sigrid! 7, 16, 18, 24, 29

SIGRID TIME!!!!! thank you for the ask :) [ask game]

7. Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one?

Sigrid's main arc would definitely be whether she becomes an Unholy Assassin of Bhaal or not. She is generally more inclined towards doing it if you don't intervene, because if left to just her own instincts it's.. "Kill, kill, kill again" quite literally.

But she can be pretty easily persuaded into a path of light, especially if you have high approval.

I think helping would mostly involve intervening (quite literally) when she wants to submit to the urge. Like you could stop her from killing Alfira, stop her from sharing the Grove's location with Minthara (she'll try to regardless if the player does or not.)

16. What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies?

Sigrid is pretty fond of learning how to read! Because of her lobotomy (thanks orin) she has to relearn how to do this and she actually practices a lot with Karlach and Gale. I kind of rambled about this in my other post in my tags- but this is based on dialogue you can have with Karlach about reading together. Since she has to relearn I imagine reading with Karlach and sometimes Gale helps her and genuinely entertains her.

She also likes singing a lot <3 <3 <3 <3

18. Where/with whom do they feel safest?

Karlach!! Unsurprisingly. But Karlach is truly the only person who she can.. confide in, be quiet and stay in spot, never worry about saying the wrong thing. (Not that she can't say anything wrong, but she's less stressed about it with Karlach.)

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw?

Incompetency. She feels she's incompetent at.. a lot. (Emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, battle, writing, reading, music- practically everything. Except for killing. She's good at that in her eyes.) Though she rarely shows this insecurity.

29. What fears keep them up at night?

Losing control. Bhaal taking over and killing the ones she cares about most. It petrifies her deep into the night

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #115

Up late again last night having important conversations with J. My brain is having a really rough time of it.

Well, that's okay. I got a bunch of insecurities out in the open instead of holding them in and trying to deal with them by myself. My delivery of my thoughts was clumsy, and we were both very tired, and so naturally the result was that J and I were frustrated and frightened. Thankfully, both of us work hard to be people who do not take our fears or frustrations out on other people, so instead of shutting down or getting snarky with one another, we simply kept trying to work through the things until we came to a mutual understanding. That was good.

The main crux of the issue is that my brain is mean to me. I generally feel unworthy of being loved by others (or even of being alive, most of the time), so when expressions of love or praise come my way, it's hard for me to accept them without becoming uncomfortable and shying away. As such, my response to any kind of praise or recognition has set a precedent where it becomes hard for other people to give it, because I am doing everything I can to avoid or deflect it. I'm working on it, but I come from an environment where praise was rare, and if you DON'T deny it, then you leave yourself open to accusations of being full of yourself. So, it's going to take me a hot minute to get it together and learn. But that's okay. I have time, and I can learn difficult things, even when it's uncomfortable, and the health of my relationships depends on my ability to work on the issues within me that I've put on the back burner in favor of tending to literally anyone and anything else.

Br came over today in the morning, and she will stay overnight. I was able to go over my struggles with her as well. We talked over the tea we made together. I had the maple black tea, and she had the maple herbal tea. We both sweetened ours with maple sugar and heavy cream. Here's how mine turned out:

Here's how hers turned out:

Fortunately, she was able to respond much less defensively than J did, so I came away from the interaction feeling seen and understood. Ultimately, correcting the way my brain treats me is my responsibility and mine alone, but feeling as though I am understood and supported helps me to have the strength and courage I need in order to do the necessary work to change the way I look at myself.

J and M are working from home still, so Br and I went out on a date to the Galleria 7 place. As it turns out, the empanada place is gluten free by default! So I got lunch for her, lunch for me, and lunch to bring home to J, and M didn't want anything. I got tacos. They were awesome! And I got some horchata, too, and this was also good! I'll show you:

I brought with me my small tree orb; last time we were there, the lady who runs the trinket/empanada shop expressed an interest in selling my handicrafts. I didn't know how to price it though, so I asked for suggestions. So now my little orb is amongst the other trinkets, with a price tag of $20:

…I wonder if anyone will want it.

My other orb is still drying just a little. That one will be going to the other side of the planet very soon for a person who needs it. I hope it will serve him well.

I am trying to think of things to write to you. But I am very tired and my brain isn't doing the things properly. So I guess I'll end this one here.

Hey. In the future, Sephiroth. If you're struggling with doubt, pain, and insecurity, instead of bottling it up and spending a week in a terrible place trying to handle it yourself (and failing miserably, because humans are NOT built to handle things themselves, no matter what anyone tries to tell you), you gotta talk about it to the people around you, okay? Zack is maybe a little oblivious and silly, but he's good people - one of the best. Don't struggle alone. Please. I'm sure if you set down the weapons and promise not to fight, he'd try to listen to you and understand you. So give it a try, okay?

Because… if you don't turn yourself around, Sephiroth, you're gonna get erased. Please don't get erased. If I have to get on my hands and knees and beg you not to make choices that will get you erased, I will. So come on… I'm counting on you. I'm counting on you to make it. I'm counting on you to eventually be okay.

I'll write again tomorrow. I love you. Stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[hekateinhell]

DA here, went full Jeff Goldblum while reading your mermay fic: "you did it, you crazy son of a bitch, you did it". Had me on a chokehold from start to finish in the weirdest of ways and was VERY hot? 🤒 That was clearly Armand and Lestat in a parallel universe. Loved the textures, the colors, the smells, I could picture all of it in my head so vividly. Lestat pining mermaid!Armand down and having his way with him only to realize that had been Armand's goal all along, Armand looking dissatisfied after their penetration-less encounter, Armand's creepy yet enthralling smile during their meet cute... can we hear a little commotion for the fish fucking???? 🥳

ALSO, I distinctly remembered you comparing Armand to a siren in one of your previous A/L one shots, and it was such a gorgeously worded description that it just stuck with me so I went looking for it and: "No response, but then again, Lestat hadn't expected one. The water rippled softly, and something brushed against his skin. Armand rose between Lestat's legs like a siren breaking through the sea waves and settled against his chest, silent and waiting", from The Hand That Feeds (one of my absolute faves from you btw!), and this feels like such a full circle moment. You were meant to write this!!! 🥹

Aww DA, I'm so pleased you liked my little fish baby! Of course, I did it! It's been an intrusive thought ever since monstersinthecosmos yelled at me about The Lighthouse last August and I was just- 👀👀👀

I don't know why we don't have more monsterfucking fics in VC lmao vampires are the starting off point, there's lots of room to explore!

Lestat pining mermaid!Armand down and having his way with him only to realize that had been Armand's goal all along

I really tried hard to capture Lestat's temperament like he's very young, sensitive, volatile, and desperate for connection. He might have been pushed around by his family, but he also grew up the son of a lord in pre-revolutionary France and there were a lot ugly entitlements wrapped up in all that. Historical context still applies here, and the dubcon tag is for both of them in different places!

Adding to that, it's Lestat's first time experiencing this kind (or really, any kind) of intimacy with another being, and this being seemingly not communicating or responding to him whatsoever creates a lot of bad, insecure feelings he has no idea how to process — especially considering how ignored and neglected he was by his family! Not everyone's first experiences are sunshine and rainbows and I was thinking about that a lot. It's absolutely a PWP but I did end up putting a lot of meta into it, whoops! I had almost a year to think about it.

I distinctly remembered you comparing Armand to a siren in one of your previous A/L one shots, and it was such a gorgeously worded description that it just stuck with me so I went looking for it

That didn't even occur to me, which just goes to show Armand has been sea creature coded in my brain for quite a while now! (I'll refer to my Armand & The Water post lol). It's so strange thinking about it because The Hand That Feeds was one of my earliest fics, before I ever had any confidence to try writing smut and now here we are a full year later. 🫣

At least it's proof I can write a soft and sweet L/A!

BTW... I miss you being horny on main with me 🥹 So I'm going to be risqué and full of myself and ask you if you'd share which one of the fours orgasms in the mermaid fic was your fave? I'm curious if it'll match mine. 👀🐚

[myg-butterfly]

How Many Things

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi invites you out to a party with him, and in trust, you say yes. But what happens when you lose him in the crowd, just to find him again with someone else by his side? In the midst of panic and longing, you wonder how many things he thinks about before he gets to you.

Tags: Non-Idol AU, Anti-Social Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Anxiety, descriptions of panic attacks, Yoongi is an asshole for a minute, some of his friends are big time assholes, insecurities, social anxiety, lots of feelings, Teahyung and Namjoon are sweethearts, crying, jealousy, author's first fic lol.

A/N: HEY HELLO HI!!! This is my first fic that I'm publishing here so pls be gentle 🙏 And if you enjoy, leave feedback, good or bad, I love interactions. This is self-indulgent comfort that I've been thinking about for a long while and I was like ,,,,,, Yoongi got me 🥰🙏 Also this was slightly inspired by Sabrina Carpenter's "how many things" from her album EICS go listen if you want the extra angst. So yeah, enjoy!

main masterlist

You began to panic, the music was so, so loud, the clattering of dishes and glasses from the bar, the yelling, all the bodies and their humidity, it was all becoming too much, and to your dismay, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen.

You tried to recollect yourself as you began pushing through the crowd, determined on finding him. With every slip past a person, every step and stumble, you grew even more exhausted, but then finally, Yoongi came into view.

He was to the other end of the bar, a smile plastered in all his glory. Whoever he was talking to was clearly making him laugh, and just the sight of him made the tension in your shoulders ease a little bit. You were just about to call out to him, maybe even when fling yourself in his arms, but then-

Then you saw her. The one responsible for the way his face was currently scrunched with a happy grin. They stood close to each other, even as they turned the other way and moved to take a seat together at the bar. They were hand in hand, they looked like the human embodiment of perfection.

You felt your heart deflate as Yoongi pulled out a chair for her, proceeding to signal something to the bartender, the peace sign on his fingers and the pointing between him and her gave you the idea he asked for a drink for both of them. They continued to laugh and talk, and you had to force yourself to look away.

The sight of them made you remember why you hated going out, but even worse, you remembered why you vowed to not get romantically attached to anyone, especially not Yoongi.

The turning of your stomach was becoming hard to ignore, your quick breaths making matters worse. You knew you had to get out of there; with or without Yoongi. So with one last glance at him -who was still engrossed deeply in conversation with the woman next to him, leaning to whisper something in her ear and her reacting in a flustered manner- you fought your way to the door, tears beginning to spill the moment the night breeze greeted you.

As much as you wanted to just run and run and run until your body gave out on you, you knew better than to try and make it back to the dorms by foot.

You sighed defeatedly and pulled out your phone, texting the one person who you knew would be here without fail. As much as you didn't like bothering him (even though he's told you countless times you're not) you knew he'd scold you if you walked home on your own, and a scolding from him was never an enjoyable experience.

Y/N: are you busy rn?

Namjoon: Not currently. Why?

Y/N: can u pls come pick me up

Namjoon: Where are you? Are you safe?

Y/N: yeah, here's my location *📍*

Namjoon: I'll be there in less than 10. Stay put, okay?

Y/N: ok. ty joon.

Putting your phone away, you sat at the nearest bench you found, and attempted to stop the tears from falling further before Namjoon arrived.

But no matter how hard you tried, it was pretty much impossible to not think about why you were out here in the first place. Were you overreacting? Yoongi's allowed to have friends. So why are you so hurt? It's not even like you're together or anything.

In all honesty, you wanted to be mad at them.

You wanted to be mad at him for giving you even the slightest hope that there might be something more between you two.

You wanted to be mad at that girl he was with for being so damn perfect for him, for being everything that you could never begin to come close to.

But deep down you didn't have it in you to be angry at anyone but yourself.

How could you have been so stupid?

You knew that no one would want you romantically, you knew that all he felt for you was pity, that you'd never come first, and yet you still got your hopes up.

You let yourself dream that he wanted you like you wanted him. You believed all those things he said out of pity, all the reassurances and compliments, you knew that they were nothing but him simply being who he is; a naturally kind person.

You knew all of this, so why the hell were you crying? Why were you walking out and aimlessly trying to find anywhere else to go?

'Pathetic' you scoffed at yourself. You were being immature, everything everyone else had said about you was true. You were stupid to think otherwise.

Before you could continue to wallow in your self-pity, you felt a small tap to your shoulder, and you looked up to find Namjoon looking down at you.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" You quickly wiped away your remaining tears and nodded your head, standing up to greet him. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Thank you for coming Namjoon." You bowed slightly, trying your best to look well put together. "It's no problem dear. My car's this way, come on."

"You want me to drive you back to your apartment?" You both got in his car and he asked as you put on your seatbelts. "Yes, please. Thank you." He only hummed in response as he began to drive, a soft tune playing on the radio, just loud enough to make it less awkward.

Namjoon knew you probably weren't in the mood to talk, and you were grateful for the silent understanding you guys shared. You weren't awfully close, but you'd shared your own personal memories with each other, and you mutually knew the other would be willing to lend a hand when needed. That's what you liked about him. He was just understanding like that.

The drive to your apartment was short, and even though you lived on the 3rd floor, Namjoon insisted on walking you to your door.

"Hey, take care okay? If you need anything else don't hesitate to call me, yeah?" He said as you reached your door, the genuine look on his face made you tear up once more.

"Yeah. Thank you, Joon." You waved him off as you stepped into your apartment, closing the door as he began to turn around.

You immediately kicked off your heels and went to grab a glass of water. You chugged it down as if you hadn't had a drop of water in days, proceeding to open your fridge and let the waterworks begin as you realized your appetite was gone just seeing the carton of orange juice sitting there with a sticky note that reads, "YOONGI'S!!! DO NOT DRINK >:("

He'd helped you with your groceries about 2 weeks ago, and the orange juice he bought was claimed by him, protesting that he needed "emergency juice" because he was at your apartment so often.

Not wanting to look at his skrunkly handwriting anymore, you shut the fridge door and rested your head in your hands on the kitchen counter.

The more you thought about it, the more prominent the ache in your chest became. He was the one who invited you to that party in the first place. He was the one who wanted you to have fun. He was the one that promised he wouldn't leave your side. Yet here you were, back at the dorms, hugging yourself in attempts to conceal your heartbreak.

If you had gone on your own and just happened to see him there with another girl, then that would have been a different story.

But no.

Yoongi himself told you two nights ago that he was invited to a party, and he wanted you to accompany him as his plus one. And as nervous and hesitant as you were, he spurred you on, encouraging; "No matter what you wear you'll look stunning." And "Everyone will love you" and "I won't leave your side, okay?"

That one stung the most when you thought about it, because not even 15 minutes into the party, Yoongi was nowhere to be seen. You could tell that most of his friends weren't too fond of you, and you felt ridiculous in the pink dress you wore.

You thought of how you'd taken hours to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and not cry at your appearance made you cringe. You tried so hard to look nice, to feel pretty, to feel wanted, and it still didn't work.

You grew angrier, why weren't you good enough? What made it so hard to love you? You practically ripped off your dress, the fabric suddenly piercing your skin, your arms wiping off your already smearing makeup furiously, and you stomped to your bed, plopping down violently before letting out a strangled groan that sounded more like a whimper.

You felt like shit. Your whole night was shit.

Were you overreacting? You had been rude too. I mean, you left without even telling him. You're just as bad, right?

He's the one who left you standing there, Y/N. Your brain going back and forth until you decided that falling asleep would be easier.

"Sooo how'd it go with lover boy last night? Assuming things went well from what I saw." An overly excited Taehyung appeared at your side, a smug grin on his face as he poked your arms. You just shrugged your shoulders as a response, the mere mention of the previous night was enough to deflate your already souring mood.

"Don't give me that look, Y/N! I know you and Yoongi got it on last night!" Taehyung flailed his arms accusingly, as if waddling around would make his statements true. "We didn't get it on, Taehyung. Literally nothing happened. Nothing." You tried to remain calm as you spoke, but your patience was running thin.

"Oh come on Y/N. Yoongi was absolutely plastered this morning and you're gonna try to tell me nothing happened?" He kept on going as he shook your shoulders, and it took everything in you to not slap his hands away.

"Did he get home safe last night?" Your brows furrowed in slight worry at the mention of Yoongi being wasted, and no matter how hurt you were, you had to know if he was okay.

"Uh, yeah. Were you drunk too? I thought you guys left together. Do you not remember?" The lump in your throat was becoming harder to swallow down as Taehyung spoke. You had to be strong. You were not gonna cry over this to your poor friend who's excited.

"You know I don't drink. And, no we didn't leave together. I asked Namjoon to take me home." You hoped he'd stop asking questions, but much to your dismay- "You left with Namjoon?!?! Does Yoongi know?!?!? Did anything happen with him!?" At this point you were on the brink of tears, you hated talking about this.

"Taehyung, please let it go. I just wanted to know if Yoongi got home safely. Can we please just drop it?" Taehyung caught onto your pleading tone and the hurt look in your eyes, and he nodded with his softened expression.

"Sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to pry." He spoke cautiously. "It's okay Tae."

He shot you another worried look before returning to walking in silence beside you once again.

The rest of the day went painfully slow, your mind too exhausted to deal with walking from one side of campus to the other, and much less to pay attention to what your professors were saying.

Expectedly, you collapsed onto your bed the moment you went back to your dorm. You were gladly going to continue feeling sorry for yourself, but the ringing of your doorbell rudely interrupted you.

You groaned, hoping they'd just go away, but after a few seconds another ring came. You [grumpily] got up, running your hands through your hair in attempt to look somewhat presentable.

As you made your way to the door, you wondered who could be at your apartment, especially now that it was beginning to get late, the sun going down quickly outside.

You hesitantly opened the door, immediately wishing you would've just continued to ignore whoever was at the door once you saw who was standing in front of you.

"Hi, I brought dinner." There Yoongi stood with a soft smile on his face, lifting a brown bag in reference to dinner.

You stood stunned, wanting to say something, but your mind went blank.

"Y/N? You there?" He playfully waved his hands around trying to get your attention.

"Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry. Just didn't expect you to come by."

"Oh, sorry if I startled you. I texted you but you didn't respond, and you didn't answer last night when I called, so I wanted to come check if you were okay." He shuffled from foot to foot, worry evident in his eyes.

"Oh, just haven't been on my phone lately." You looked down, feeling unsure on how to talk to him without showing him your hurt.

"Oh alright. So, we heading in for dinner?" The smile returned to Yoongi's face, and no matter how hurt you were, you still found it hard to say no to him.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Of course."

You opened the door a little further and stepped aside to let him in.

On a normal occasion, dinner with Yoongi would've been the highlight of your day. But now, it was filled with awkward silence and poor attempts at small talk — Yoongi hates small talk as much as you, so you don't know why he's still trying — the tension in the air was hardly going unnoticed.

It wasn't until you finished eating that he decided to just rip the bandage off.

"Are you angry with me?" Yoongi asked, and you almost questioned if he was being serious or not, but the expression he held made you realize that he was in fact clueless about the hurt he put you through.

You weren't sure what to say, so you stayed silent. I mean, it's not like you were angry at him. But you also weren't too happy with him either. Yoongi felt his heart drop as your gaze dropped his own, denying him from an answer.

"Y/N? Did I do something?" He asks from across the table where he's sitting.

For some reason hearing those words from him made the tears you've been holding back so well spill over.

Did he really have no idea? Were you genuinely overreacting? Did you just make everything up in your head?

"Do you really not know?" You tried to push your voice out firmly, but it came out in a broken whisper. You wanted to look at Yoongi, you wanted to see if his face washed over with realization, but your eyes stayed glued to the floor.

"Is this about me getting drunk at that party? I thought you said you didn't mind if I had alcohol." His wording sounded harsher than he intended, but with your already weakened state, you had to hold back from full on sobbing right there in front of him.

"This is about you leaving me by myself in the middle of the party when you promised you wouldn't leave my side!" Your frustration began to take over, did he really not see it? He's supposed to know you better than anyone else.

"Leaving you by yourself? Last thing I heard, you had found yourself a new companion for the night." Yoongi scoffed, his mood souring when he recalls finding out that apparently you'd left with some other guy.

The drinks he'd had were enough to make the night slightly blurry and to make him work a little harder to recall the night's events, but unfortunately, they weren't enough to make him forget how someone had stole you away from him.

"Where did you hear that?" You asked, trying to mask the hurt you were currently feeling.

"My friends" He responded, as if that was supposed to change what you had said.

"Your friends ... the ones you introduced me to?"

"Yeah"

"Your friends really don't seem to like me." You muttered, but Yoongi somehow caught the soft mumbling.

"What do you mean? To me it looked like they were all happy to meet you." His tone remained cold, and you felt more tears forming quickly.

"Well, you weren't there with me when they all laughed at me because I'd lost you in the crowd." You tried to defend yourself.

"They're not like that, I know they aren't."

"You wouldn't know how they acted towards me because you left me alone." You continued on, his face morphing into one resembling more of guilt.

"He left you already? Didn't even last half an hour."

"They haven't even had 1 drink tonight, no wonder Yoongi ran away so fast. Prude."

You winced while recalling how they'd laughed at you when you tried asking for Yoongi, passing it off as a joke when you'd gotten visibly upset.

You softened your tone, sadness catching up with you and replacing your frustration.

"It hurt, Yoongi. You know me better than anyone. You're supposed to know me better than anyone. You know how much I hate parties and bars, how I hate talking to people I don't know, how I don't do things alone. Ever. And you know that if I made you promise to not leave my side it's because I'm not ever planning to leave yours either. Do you know how bad it hurt to be panicking only to turn around and see you having the time of your life? Especially with someone else, when you promised me that night was for you and I only? It hurt, so damn bad."

Yoongi's heart dropped at your words, had it really been that bad for you? How did he not notice?

"I didn't leave with anyone yesterday, Namjoon brought me back to my apartment and left the moment I walked inside that door. You're the one that left with someone else last night, and it wasn't me."

A thick moment of silence engulfs you, and you begin to wait for a snap, or some sort of outburst from Yoongi, but all that comes is—

"Y/N... I- Shit. That's not-" You looked up hesitantly at the sound of Yoongi fumbling his words. He ran a hand through his hair in disbelief before slowly moving closer and crouching down in front of you. "I'm so sorry Y/N. I swear didn't mean to leave you. I went to go get the drinks, I did. And then when I couldn't find you I went and asked my friends if they had seen you, and they said that you'd gone off dancing with some guy, and so I went to go look for you and I ran into a classmate, which is the girl you saw me with. And I thought, since Y/N's off with someone else, it wouldn't hurt to have a drink with a girl from my class. I wouldn't have left you if I knew that you were by yourself. I'm so sorry."

Yoongi's gaze dropped to the floor as he finished, ashamed for being the root of your tears.

"I should've known better, I- I was just so opposed to seeing you happy with someone else that I immediately rejected the idea of looking for you to avoid the possibility of someone else making your night special. And I know that's not really a valid excuse, not looking for you because I was jealous- of something that wasn't even fucking happening- it isn't fair to you whatsoever. I'm so sorry, Y/N. I truly am." He takes your hands in his and takes a moment to recollect his next words.

"What can I do to make it up to you? Even if it's just the smallest fraction, I want to show you how sorry I am. Anything you want. Please." You paused for a moment, even though your conscience immediately knew what you wanted.

Hold me. Please. Hold me. Nudge your head with mine, lock our pinkies, put your leg against mine, anything. Please, hold me.

With your brain screaming mantras of 'I need to be held', you reached out for him for a second, before your body jerked to a stop.

No. I need him to hold me. I need him to reach out. He needs to initiate- please-

Yoongi's quick to notice your body language, and equally quick to react. "Do you want to be held, sweetheart?" You swear you felt yourself physically start to glow at the sound of him uttering the words you've been dying to hear for god knows how long.

You nod your head and you're so delighted by the aspect of someone- well, not just someone, but Yoongi- comforting you, that you don't even notice the soft whimper that leaves you as he scoots closer to you.

"Words, darling." He says softly, and your body automatically responds with soft chants of "Yes, please, yes Yoongi."

You don't even notice how tears begin to fall against your cheeks again when you feel Yoongi's hands wiping them away.

"C'mere, I've got you baby. Let's go to bed, yeah?" He grabs your legs and wraps them around his torso, before he holds you against him tightly and begins to stand up with you in his arms.

You feel yourself melting at the pet names he's giving you, glad that he's carrying you because you're sure your legs would've given out on you at this point.

You continue turning to mush when you feel how gently Yoongi sets you down once you reach your bed, how he squeezes your hand and asks for permission to lay with you with his eyes, how he reaches for you under the covers and cradles you close, fingers running through your hair softly.

The bliss is only momentarily, broken when your mouth moves faster than your brain;

"Yoongi?"

"Hm?"

"Why did it upset you when you thought I was at the club with someone else?" Your question comes out as a whisper, scared for his response.

"Y/N." He pulls back a little to see your face.

"Yoongi." You reply mocking his tone.

"Are you really gonna make me spell it out for you?" He's secretly glad that it's dark in your room, otherwise you'd be able to see the blush coating his cheeks.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, and his only response is a huff while pulling your head back into his chest.

"Yoooongiiii" Your whine comes out muffled by his shirt.

"Y/nnnnnn" It's now Yoongi's turn to mock your tone.

"Answer the questionnnn"

You feel the vibrations of his chest as he mumbles something into your hair, and you would've lost it on the spot if you weren't so focused on getting an answer out of him.

"Yoongi I can't understand you when you're mumbling like a child." You chuckle slightly, not wanting to dwell on how you can feel his heart beating rapidly against you before he mumbles once again, only this time louder.

"I don't understand you for shit." At this, Yoongi lets go of you and sits up with a sigh, looking at you for a second before securing his gaze on his hands. You follow suit and sit up as well, only slightly behind him.

"I like you. I've liked you. For a really long while." His voice is so soft and it sounds so timid, you almost think you're imagining it.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Wait- that's not a good way to respond to that. Uhhh- wait." You quickly shift so you're facing him fully.

"Do you mean like as in 'you're a homie' or like as in 'you're not just the homie you're THE homie'? Because before I say anything you would have to clari-"

"Do you think I do this with all my friends?" He cuts off your nervous ramble, grabbing both of your shaky hands with his equally shaken ones.

"What specifically?"

"All of it."

"Wha-"

"The sharing food? The holding hands and carrying you and bringing dinner over and inviting them everywhere with me? The cuddling and the 'baby' and 'doll'? You know how I am about my personal space, and you know how I am about my sleep, and you know how I am about affection. Do you think I do that with just anyone?"

"Well- I don't know, I mean- I don't know what your other friendsh-"

"I don't. You're the only one that gets to see me like this. You're the only one I treat like this. You're the only one I want to treat like this. I like you. And I want to be with you. And that's why I was upset. Because when I thought you were with someone else, it made me feel as if you didn't want the same thing as me."

Before you got the chance to even begin to process, Yoongi catches himself and feels the need to justify: "Obviously if you don't feel the same then I won't like, lash out at you or anything, it'll hurt but I don't want you to feel forced into something more with me than what we have now, it's just you asked me why I was upset and that was the only way I could explain it but I-"

"Yoongi." He's stopped by a soft tug to his shirt and the even softer sound of your voice.

You catch each other's eyes, the flickers of hope and longing between them, and the search of honesty.

"I feel the same."

A sigh leaves his lips and he breaks into a smile before picking you up in one motion and setting you on his lap so you're straddling him.

"Does this mean we're like, um- like,,,,"

"Like...?" His tone is teasing, and you know he knows what you mean.

"Like, y'know- like..."

"I actually don't know...."

"Yoongi." You huff out, your shyness getting the best of you.

"Yes?" His tone is smug, making you groan into his chest.

Working off of pure adrenaline, you mumble quietly: "Like, together."

"What was that doll?" You could practically hear the smirk on his face, making you try and shuffle away from him, but Yoongi's quicker, pulling you back into him with a giggle.

"If you're asking if we're officially dating, then don't even question it baby." He's still laughing, but his tone is firmer this time.

"So I'm taking that as a yes?"

"Fuck yes."

You burst out laughing at his response, and soon enough you've both fallen into a fit of giggles, as well as back into the bed, with you on top of Yoongi, before he flips you over so he's hovering over you.

"Y/N."

"Yoongi?"

"Can I kiss you?"

End.

[utilitycaster]

The Twins in the Feywild

or, the adaptation is good, actually:

The thing about the Feywild arc in the Legend of Vox Machina is that it's not just a simple condensing of 20-ish hours into perhaps one hour; it's also at a notably different point in the story, and is changed to reflect that.

[as a sidebar: I am not tagging spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 1, as the episodes in question are 5+ years old. This post does have a large number of them, and in general, if you are new to CR and found this via the TLOVM tag, welcome! My blog will have spoilers for the campaign.]

In Campaign 1, after the Sunken Tomb and the encounter with Kamaljiori (who survives in the campaign, incidentally), all of Vox Machina heads towards Westruun. Grog has his (also different from TLOVM, also condensed in a thoughtful way that may be discussed in a separate post) struggles with Craven Edge, and they all encounter the Herd of Storms, deal with them, and kill Umbrasyl. The episode after they have killed the first of the four dragons responsible for the Conclave attacks, Umbrasyl the Hope Devourer, is aptly named Hope; they then go to Vasselheim where Vax formalizes his relationship to the Raven Queen, and then deal with Hotis back in Whitestone. The Deathwalker's Ward's flight power is also activated. Then they go to the Feywild, together (though Pike stays behind again due to Ashley's schedule.) In general, Vax has made peace with his decision, and the party is, for the most part, much more optimistic than they are here.

Here, all four dragons are still at large, Keyleth's spell was interrupted, Vax is still on edge, and the last thing they saw was Pike, impaled on Grog's sword. They are doing far worse.

So, understandably, Vax is in a sour mood the entire trip. This significantly changes his role, as he's less able to offer support for Vex. Keyleth is also more insecure.

The episode in Syngorn in the main campaign, which was also, notably, Critical Role's first ever live show with the tech hiccups and nerves that implies, is actually pretty funny. We do get the twins' encounter with Syldor - more on that later - but a large portion of the episode is dedicated towards stealing hats and trying to find a threshold crest for Garmelie (with Keyleth and Percy eventually outsmarting him on a technicality, in true Fey fashion); and the party accidentally implying and then fully leaning into implication that they are polyamorous and need a room so that they can have an orgy. I've seen indications that Syngorn was much grimmer than that; while the twins were understandably frustrated with it, it was far from a dark episode.

With the caveat that I have not read Kith and Kin, Syldor Vessar is one of the characters in Critical Role canon whom I feel the fandom has the most warped perception. He is a dick, to be clear; but on a scale of living character parents, he is treated with a vitriol the far worse Howaardt Darrington and Thoreau Lionett oddly dodge, and it says something that Tary and Beau never to our knowledge attempt to interact with their fathers again, whereas Vex maintains a distant and at times contentious but minimally cordial relationship with hers. (It's not unique for parents in this show to be given the madonna/whore treatment, as others have noted, and parents who fall most towards the middle of that false dichotomy tend to bear the brunt of it - see the Calloways and the Gentleman - but Syldor's treatment is, to be honest, inexplicable and weird.)

In "Heredity and Hats," Syldor is not warm or pleasant, but he does, in fact, apologize at length for his behavior and accepts that the twins have reason to hate him when he offers his assistance. (1x60, 47:58) He also accepts Percy's correction of Vex's title in full, and indeed, seems pleased by it (1x60, 55:22). He is not a good person, but he is, by the time the twins see him in the Feywild, a penitent one. And, in this episode, Vax is the one who is largely unconcerned with Syldor, with the implication he's already given up on him and doesn't particularly care, whereas Vex is much angrier.

However, that's all very difficult to convey in TLOVM in under ten minutes, when Vex's upcoming showdown with Saundor hinges on her insecurity surrounding how she was perceived in the past and her ongoing struggles with powerlessness. So in that, Syldor is far more dismissive, and Vax, who is still, as mentioned, in a very angry place himself, is, well, angry. It is a different tack! It also is a very smart choice given that in a campaign that lasts hundreds of hours, the rule is show don't tell; and in an animated series that must compress this into a tiny fraction of that time, that rule is lifted. This is not a time for the subtle background of Vex's C1 arc. There is no time for the subtle background of Vex's C1 arc. What matters is that the adaptation is consistent within itself; achieves the general, for lack of a better term, vibes and major plot beats of the original campaign; and can reach an audience unfamiliar with the source material. We can't make Syldor fascinatingly complex and Vax blasé here, so we don't, so that we can understand why Saundor is able to cut so close to the core of Vex before she's able to pull away.

It's different! And, yes, as someone who does like something very long-form and subtle and show-not-tell, I do prefer the original! I also think that within the limitations of an animated show with 6-hour seasons, with the assumption that the Feywild arc starts here (that is, with Vax still where he is emotionally, Umbrasyl alive, and Grog, Scanlan, and Pike absent), trying to otherwise keep things the same would feel artificial and unsatisfying, and fail to serve Vex's story. It is changed to heighten it in a medium that needs heightening because there's no time for breadth, and you can dislike it, but criticizing it for not being identical to the original is a particularly egregious missing of the point.

(It's also worth keeping in mind: have you rewatched this arc recently? Are you even comparing it to the story as it was, or are you comparing it to the story you remember, because, like it or not, Vex's story was always very much about her relationships to Syldor, Vax, and Percy, and her need to be liked; her flaw was that she simultaneously desperately needed people and hated herself for it.)

[babyboibucky]

Welcome to Bee’s Sin City!

❣️ I don’t do tag lists but if you would like to be updated, please follow and turn on post notifs for my side blog @babyboibuckywrites​ where I just reblog my new fics. 🥰

❣️ I mainly write for Bucky Barnes, Marc Spector, Steven Grant and Jake Lockley but would occasionally write for other characters as well.

❣️ I do not accept requests but feel free to drop some headcanons or drabbles in my ask! I tend to turn them into full-length fics if the ideas are right up my alley.

❣️ Please DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE, OR TRANSLATE my works on any platform with or without my permission.

❣️ Find my fic-related tagging system HERE. This is to help everyone avoid spoilers about my works, especially when I’m on a roll reblogging reacts and responding to asks.

🔞 I write a lot of smut and I am horny on main so obviously, this is an 18+ blog. MINORS NOT ALLOWED!

CHALLENGES, SLEEPOVERS, etc.

KINKTOBER SLUT FEST

3K AU CHALLENGE

TUMBLRVERSARY ONE-LINERS

FIC RECS

SERIES

Chapters are individually rated

COMPLETE

The Match

[CEO!Bucky x Reader] You come across your boss’ Tinder profile.

Devil’s Mark

[Dark!Rockstar!Bucky x Reader] You accept a temp job as a runner for a rockstar’s concert.

—

ONGOING

Project V

[College!Bucky x Reader] You ask your best friend Bucky a favor of a lifetime.

Breaking Waves

[Surfer!Bucky x Reader] You go on a summer vacation that will change your entire life.

Flutter

[Destroyer!Chris x Reader] Chris liked pushing your buttons to see how an innocent one like you would react.

Don’t Be A Stranger

[Bucky x Reader x Marc Spector] Your rough night takes an interesting turn when you meet an old friend and a stranger.

ONE-SHOTS/MINI-SERIES

Those marked with an asterisk are NSFW

BUCKY BARNES

Obvious

You and Bucky are more than friends but less than lovers.

Do It Again*

In which Bucky makes you squirt for the first time.

Elevate Thy Hate

Not a day goes by that you and Bucky don’t argue.

Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best

Bucky disappeared and came back only to say goodbye.

Promises, promises

You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Charm || Charming

Bucky checks whether he still has his 1940′s charm

Salt, Sugar and Viruses

You’ve been secretly making coffee for Bucky at the office.

White Noise

Bucky has a new neighbor and she’s even grumpier than him.

All Yours*

Bucky threatens Zemo right in front of you.

Easy Love*

Bucky helps you cope with a terrible day with his love.

Greedy*

Bucky wants to try something new with you.

Featherlight

Bucky is blinded by his insecurities and fails to see how in love you are with him.

Coming Home

Bucky is finally home.

Nasty*

You discover that Bucky, a black shirt and a wrist watch is a dangerous combination.

Kiss Me Goodnight

Your anxiety has nothing against Bucky and his warm embrace.

Angel on Her Knees*

You give Bucky the TLC he deserves.

Our Space

You and Bucky move into your new home.

Birthday Tiara*

You weren’t enjoying your birthday until Bucky comes along.

Like Nicotine

You and Bucky broke up but he keeps on crawling back to you.

Pretty Boy*

You’ve been away for two days and Bucky broke your only rule.

Don’t You Worry (Your Pretty Little Head)

You agree to spend twelve hours with Bucky whom you just met.

Those Days*

You find it hard to love yourself sometimes.

Blue Hour

You don’t care for sunrises or sunsets.

Make or Break

You have a specific set of rules when it comes to your casual relationships.

What Daddy Wants*

You want to swim but Bucky wants to do something else.

Unfair

You experience what it’s like to fall in love with Bucky.

Rum and Coke*

You decide to pay your rival club a visit to see what the hype is all about.

Anger That Loves

You help Bucky understand his anger.

The L Word

You love Bucky but not enough to commit.

At Your Service*

Bucky missed you. A whole lot.

Like This* || Like That*

Bucky shows you how he wants it done.

After All

Bucky used to hate a lot of things.

Lucid* || Grounded

You find it hard to move on from Bucky after the break-up.

Checkmate* || Two Kings and a Queen*

Bucky convinces you that you’ve been serving the wrong king the entire time.

Tomorrow’s Alright

Sometimes all you need is someone to tell you that everything will be okay.

To Be Loved

What is it like to love Bucky Barnes?

—

MARC SPECTOR/STEVEN GRANT/JAKE LOCKLEY

Bad Knight, Good Knight*

Give Marc a certain look and he’ll give you his all. In the condition that you’re gonna be good.

Heartsease

Steven provides you solace in a world full of chaos.

First Time’s A Charm*

Steven’s about to lose his virginity to you.

An Avatar For An Avatar*

You and Marc are both Khonshu’s avatars.

Tag Team*

Marc teaches you a lesson about control with the help of Steven and Jake.

What You Want*

Marc doesn’t like the idea of sharing you. Not even with Steven.

La Douleur Exquise*

The exquisite, heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.

—

LLOYD HANSEN

Collateral*

Lloyd has taken you hostage.

In Heat*

You’re absolutely desperate for Lloyd Hansen.

—

OTHER CHARACTERS

Should’ve Known Better* - Endings Beginnings!Frank

You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Kinda Like It When You Lie* - Destroyer!Chris

You discover the reason why Chris has been lying to you about his whereabouts.

Take What You Need* - Frank Castle

You let Frank use you to his advantage.

[itrimehalle]

read on ao3

You hate the runestones scattered across the hills of Jorvik.

There’s no big story behind it, or so you say when anyone asks. They’re just eyesores and roadblocks, and - this part is for the Soul Riders’ ears only - the faint purple glow they emit whenever you approach is getting old. The hum that only you can hear when you draw even remotely near drives you crazy. You don’t want to have to take the long away around places just to avoid the magical anomaly.

Whatever, whatever, whatever.

The truth is that each rune etched into those rocks is a reminder of the responsibility that you are destined to carry, of the responsibility that, so far, you are failing to carry. The glow signals, you have power, but you can’t bring yourself to believe it. Anne and Lisa and Justin, they’re all still missing, and you are even at fault for the latter’s plight. Heroes don’t seal the innocent’s fate, not like that. You are no hero. You carry no power. Lightning refuses to spark at your fingertips.

You vandalize what you must to get your way. The last time you came across a Dark Core goon, you bodily tackled her because you had no other weapon to use. And so far, you have only given the villains what they want for a lack of guile.

Back when everything was normal - or rather, back when there was an absence of anything abnormal in your life - you never had to feel this way. You have friends and wits and everything else any teenager could possibly need to survive their junior year. But here, surrounded by people armed with magic, you feel completely useless. They say you are the most powerful of them all, but time and time again, Alex has cut short a lesson in frustration for how little you seem to grasp the concept of magic.

You wonder, not for the first time, if it’s possible to mistake someone ordinary for a powerful being. Surely it is; could they have looked at the ease with which you handle horses with and thought, she must be a Wild Whisperer? Could you have ended up with a Soul Steed by chance, leaving them to assume, that must have been her horse in another life? That feels better, the idea that you are just coincidentally talented, that if you went back to being normal again, you would be great.

But the druids refuse to let you go. You are the one, they assure you. We know how this works. Trust us, your magic potential is strong.

You grin and you bear it. Hey, at least getting to be around all this magic is cool, right? Sure, at times it can make you feel inferior and inadequate and insecure, but you know some people would kill to have a life like this. 

(Not you, though. You were happy, going to school and having your biggest problems be petty drama and gossip. You even liked your old horse.)

You save people now, or try to, or tag along as others do. You feel more like a sidekick or NPC than you do the main character of your own life, but there’s no denying that you’ve helped do some good. You rescued Linda.

And one day you’ll make up for everything and save everybody else, too. You tell yourself this very firmly, with no room for debate. You will save them all. The runestones say so. The druids say so. Alex looks at you with exasperation, sometimes, but she says so, too.

Time passes. you let yourself believe that they’re maybe right? You save Lisa. It takes work. That's okay. Your horse, now much more beloved than your old one in your normal life, has a broken leg. That is much less okay. Anger and panic and fear spur you on, and your first jagged bolt of lightning escapes your hand. You will be happy about it later, but not now. A trap laid out in front of you, and you couldn’t stop your horse, who would follow you anywhere, in time. Lisa fixes the break with her magic, but she can’t stop you from thinking about what could have been. What almost was.

You can hear your horse in your head now, which must be something special. You make a portal. You get Justin out of mind control, out of Dark Core, out of house arrest. His mental state is worse than ever. You can’t do much about that. (You saved him, but not fully, and it’s your fault he needed saving in the first place.)

They send you to save Anne alone. You have always followed everyone else, always been the sidekick to their heroism, so this surprises you. Gut-churning, dreading surprise, not the pleasant kind. But you breathe in, out, and tell yourself that you can do this. You have done everything so far. An intruder in this magical world you may be, but you have managed to disguise yourself perfectly.

Magic and talking horses and saving people. You can do this.

What you realize, but try not to acknowledge, is that you have only done everything else so far because you were not alone. An impostor is harder to spot when there are others to blend in with. Now, everything is up to you.

Pandoria does not go well. You’re too late, Anne says. You run, selfishly, cowardly, pitifully. Your horse says that you’re no good to anyone dead, that you made the right choice, but heroes don’t think that way. You run, and are too late to close the portal, just like Anne says. Fripp does it at the expense of the keystone and his consciousness.

Great. Another one down for the count. Another one to rescue. You think, a little hysterically, that you should keep a couple of body count lists. One for each person rescued, one for each person felled. See whether you’re doing more harm or good. Linda, Lisa, Justin rescued. Justin and Fripp felled. Does Anne count? It’s all catching up to you. One more collateral and you’ll be more a villain than a hero.

Concorde, the Soul Riders decide together. Concorde, Anne's horse, is next. Him and his rider and then Fripp. So many people. If this is the life of a hero, do you really want it? Do you want to be useful and powerful and have every runestone glow as you pass if these are the consequences? If this is what it means? You don’t know.

You thought you did, but every way out feels selfish now.

So you keep at it. You get a vision, and for a moment when you make a mistake it seems like maybe Ydris will be collateral this time around. But you see stars, and you heal him with Lisa. You rescue Concorde. She’s not really Anne's Soul Steed, because the Concorde she knew is dead and this one was meant for another cycle, another generation. Is this a loss or a rescue?

You and the rest of the Soul Riders split up again, you to Dino Valley to fetch the keystone that will create the portal to Anne. This is a simple task, one you somehow convince yourself you can’t mess up. Sabine is there, though. She pokes at sore spots and open wounds, taunting, reminding, spitting nothing but the truth.

You are nothing without your horse. You are nothing without the Soul Riders. You are nothing alone. You are nothing. You think you’re great, think you’re powerful? Here's what you are. Nothing at all.

You get it. But she demands you hand over the keystone, and you may be powerless, may be a tag-along, may be an NPC, but that’s what sidekicks do, isn’t it? They support the heroes unconditionally until the end. They never give them up. They shouldn’t even be in this story, but they are, so they’re going to play their minuscule role well.

Magic rips into your shoulder, courtesy of Sabine, for your trouble, and you run. This time, your horse doesn’t need to validate you for it, because it isn’t cowardly now. Sabine will have to pry your ticket to Anne from your cold, dead hands (although you escaping, alive, and with the keystone, is much more preferable).

The Soul Riders show up just in time to save your ass, when you’re trapped and starting to feel like your only option is to actually square off against Sabine. You are beyond grateful that it doesn’t come to that, even though it just solidifies the whole ‘sidekick’ thing. You think you can be at peace with that. At least you have friends. At least you know where you stand.

You all venture into Pandoria to save Anne together against some of the druids’ wishes, which surprises you. Relieved, chest-lightening surprise, not the awful kind. Maybe you are all just stronger together. Maybe instead of relying on them this entire time, you’ve been helping in your own way, and they have been relying on you, too. Maybe instead of being the sidekick-friend, you’re just… a friend.

You find Anne. She is angry and scarred and hurt, but you can’t do much about that. All you can do is bring her back to where she can try and patch things back together again, and she doesn’t have to do it alone. The repose you feel when you finally tumble back into the Guardian’s Dale is immense. Anne is back. You don’t know whether or not you’re needed anymore, whether or not you want to stay anymore, but there will be a choice from now on.

(If they could function with four members while you took Anne's place, they can function with four again if you decide to leave now that she’s back. No one will convince you otherwise.)

But then Alex is gone - collateral, your brain screams, why does it never end? - and you sprint back into the portal to support her, rescue her, save her, be her sidekick and her friend and whatever else she could possibly need. It doesn’t even matter now; did it ever?

Elizabeth dies. Collateral. You hope that makes more sense in context, with your list, than it does without. You hope you don’t sound uncaring. Linda, Lisa, Justin, Anne, Concorde rescued. Justin, Fripp, Anne, Concorde, Elizabeth felled. Five for five. You are as much a hero as you are a villain, but now, at least, you are the sidekick. You stay by Alex's side, and you painstakingly make your way out of chaos space together.

There's a memorial. You stand in the ruins of Doyle's Abbey, choked up and eyes fixed on the horizon. People talk and music plays and arrangements are made, but you hear almost none of it. You are gone before the candles are lit for Elizabeth. Is that rude? You don’t think she would have minded.

You leave your horse behind. Your destination is only minutes away, a triangular runestone tucked just around the corner and over a hill. The biggest one you’ve ever seen, and also the first one you’d ever seen. Where it had started, where the mistake had been made, where normal had been abandoned for… for this.

It buzzes and flares, even though you’ve stopped a few feet away to stare up at it. You can’t read the runes inscribed on it, and it gives you just about as many answers as you’d been expecting, which is to say, none. You sigh, and are just considering going back to the gathering when someone speaks, startling you.

“Alex said you hated the runestones.”

It's Anne. You tense, not because her presence is unwelcome, but because you don’t know how to reply. The two of you have only exchanged clipped sentences here and there, introductions and instructions and awkward condolences.

“I do. Did.”

“Something changed?” Anne settles, cross-legged, in the grass. Her face is hard to read. She pats the ground next to her in an invitation. 

You take it. “I guess.”

She doesn’t press, which you appreciate. You don’t offer up any more information, either, and you both sit in silence and watch the runestone. Maybe in different circumstances, this would be uncomfortable, but there’s too much going on in both your minds for you to read into weird silences.

“So,” Anne says finally, “which one of us is the fifth wheel?”

Are you fighting for the other Soul Riders’ attention now? You don’t think that’s something you want to do, so you laugh a little, and make a decision you probably haven’t given enough thought to yet. “No fifth wheel. I'm leaving.”

“What?” She sounds genuinely surprised, not pleased or anything of the sort. “Why? Just because I'm back? The others will still want you around-“

“Oh, I'll be around,” you say. “I'm not leaving leaving. I'll help when you need me to, and you guys can always come by Moorland to say hi, but Soul Riding? Not for me.”

Anne seems to relax just slightly. You’re not sure why. Maybe she doesn’t want you to be a new addition to the group of friends she’s just coming back to (you’re not hurt by the possibility), or maybe she’s just glad that it isn’t because of her that you’ll be leaving. Whatever the case, you think you’ve made the right decision. You don’t have to just be the sidekick. You can have your own life, and still keep your friends, still be around for them when they need you.

“Why?” Anne asks.

You fish around for a moment, trying to recall what she could be pushing for, when you remember where the conversation left off. “I'm… pretty bad at magic,” you answer eventually. “But I know how to use all four Circles. So, when you and Lisa were gone, there was a reason for me to stick around. Leaving to have the normal life I want would have been selfish. But now…”

“Everything you can do, someone else can do,” Anne finishes, realization tinting her words. It stings a little to hear out loud from someone else, but you nod. She shakes her head. “But what if something happens to one of us again? Or we need strength in numbers? It isn’t all about magic, you know.”

“Well, if you need manpower, I'll be here,” you say with a shrug. It seems simple enough to you. “If someone gets hurt, I'll be here. Hell, if one of you just needs a break, I'll be here! I just don’t want to always have to… be. Here. If you know what I mean.”

Anne arches her brows at your stumbling, but understanding seems to flicker over the shadows in her expression. “So it's not because of me.”

“No-” you think for a second, cut yourself off. “Yes? I'm able to go through with it because you’re back, yeah, but I don't want to do it because you’re back.”

Anne blows out a long breath. “And it isn’t because you think the others, or I, won’t want you around.”

“Definitely not.” Some part of you whispers, yes, that they would be better off without you, that you’ve done more harm than good as a Soul Rider, but you don’t actually think that they believe that.

“Okay,” she says. “Then I guess we’re good.”

“Good,” you repeat. You stand up after a moment’s silence, brushing dirt off your pants, and offer her a hand up. “I'm going to go back. Are you coming?”

Anne stares straight ahead at the runestone, refusing to look at you. You think you can see a sheen to her eyes (one green and one pink) that suggests she’s holding back tears all of a sudden. “I think I just need a few minutes.”

You hover for a split second, unsure of whether to actually leave her. Eventually you decide she needs her time, because Lisa had always recalled that Anne hated seeming weak in front of strangers (and you are a stranger), and she will not have a much-needed, cathartic cry if you stay. So you turn, and you leave.

Doyle's Abbey is emptying now. Alex is gone, Linda looks to be sleeping, Lisa is still playing, and the few stragglers are scattered around, alone or in pairs. Your feet carry you to the crumbling window at the back of the Abbey, and your fingers find an unlit candle to fiddle with.

Lightning sparks to life at your fingertips with some effort, and you light the candle, for Elizabeth and the rest of the felled. For Anne and the rest of the rescued. For sidekicks and heroes and villains and everyone else just struggling to make the right choices. You light the candle, and you watch the tiny flame flicker in the near-dark, and you wonder what all this power is for.

At least you did good things with it.

[underqualified-human]

Azul A,E,J,L Yandere alphabet

Request: Hello! I'd like to request A, E, J, L from the yandere alphabet for Azul with a gn reader. Thanks~

A/N: A lot of first recently ha! Glad to write some yandere content again

*frantic google searches about octopus mating proses*

Fandom: Disney: Twisted Wonderland

Warnings: mentions of guilt-tripping

Word Count: 362

Pronouns: They/Them

Affection: How do they show affection to their darling?

While he somewhat dislikes PDA he is very affectionate in private.

His main love language is physical touch, mostly cuddling and hand-holding.

He tends to keep his hands on places you might feel insecure about

His other love language is words of affirmation

He praises and compliments you on a daily basis

If you have any insecurities he makes sure to say reassuring things

But be warned he may use these acts to guilt-trip you

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

At first, he’s pretty standoff-ish

He’s quite scared of being vulnerable around you, worried about you leaving as soon as you see that side of him.

He warms up eventually and starts to open up about his past and some insecurities

Let’s just hope you comfort him in return

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Azul does get jealous often, he worries that if you get too close to someone you might find someone better and leave him.

He doesn’t actually blame you for his feelings of jealousy but blames the other person.

You know how I said he ‘somewhat’ dislikes PDA? When he is feeling jealous he goes all-in with PDA.

He also tricks the poor person you just happened to be talking to into signing a contract.

Let’s just hope you don’t try and make him jealous on purpose

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He’d actually be quite shy when first approaching you, he even stuttered a few times!

Though after a while he became much more forward with his advances.

If you two were alone he’d try and hold your hand, in public he’d often praise you for things that you get right

He also wards off people that he sees as rivals, mostly by roping them into contracts but has used less than legal means to get them to avoid you.

May use the Twins to some degree to force you two in to romantic situations.

Tags: @thecurrator

[spencers-renaissance]

The Other Side of the Storm

Summary: Spencer & Luke are not out as a couple but have to attend the same FBI gala where a young, pretty agent insists on flirting with Luke. Misunderstandings and surprising reveals ensue.

Tags: relationship reveal, secret relationship, coming out, jealousy, caught, hurt/comfort, autistic spencer, angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, found family, est. rel., cuddling & snuggling, domestic fluff

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Lets pretend I didn't just disappear for a couple of weeks bc I'm BACK now yay! This is written for a prompt from @ralvezhq who asked: "Ralvez is already dating but no one knows about them yet. they get invited to some sort of FBI gala and a young, accomplished female agent won’t stop flirting with luke and spencer is absolutely not having it so he finds a way to let everyone know they are together." -- I stuck to it except that they're caught rather than willingly confessing, I hope that's okay! I really enjoyed this one, so I hope you do as well.

!!!TW: the woman is very insistent on her flirting and makes Luke uncomfortable when she touches his chest without his consent!!!

“Any particular reason you keep looking over at that table full of Fugitive Task Force members, Spence?” JJ asks amusedly, sipping from her wine glass.

“Mm, I’ve noticed you looking over there a little bit,” Tara muses. “You got your eye on someone?”

Spencer looks down and forces a laugh, but he can feel the tips of his ears turning pink, and knows that he’s not gonna hear the end of this for the rest of the night. The team have never been fond of the FBI Galas they’re forced into attending every year, and unfortunately, Hotch’s usual stunt of pulling a non-urgent case from the stack and jetting off to some far-flung corner of the country to avoid it failed to fool the director this time.

He’d broken the news to them at the start of the week, and conversation in the bullpen has pretty much exclusively revolved around the event ever since. Even Penelope, who loves seeing people win awards and dressing up in her favourite full-glam outfits, has been significantly less upbeat. She only gave him one spontaneous hug all week.

None of them, though, have been dreading it more than Spencer. The others aren’t exactly fond of the faux smiles and convoluted politics and fake niceties either, sure, but tonight he has far more to lose than ever before. Namely, the man sat just out of his direct eye line at the Fugitive Task Force table.

Ironically, he and Luke had gotten ready for the same event together. They’d stood in the mirror side by side and tied one another’s ties in the way that always makes Spencer smile and Luke had gently brushed his hair out of eyes, but when it came time to leave, Spencer called a rideshare, and Luke drove the truck, arriving at completely different times in completely different vehicles.

The thing is, that as much as he loves his team, and as much as the FBI fraternisation policy has been significantly relaxed over the last few years, no one can know they’re together and have been for the last eight months.

Even the thought of Derek or Hotch or even JJ finding out — not only that he’s dating someone but that that person is a man — makes him feel queasy.

Which is why he smiles around an awkward cough and forces himself to meet the eyes of his profiler teammates, fighting every instinct in him to run, leg it out of here, never show your face again.

“No, I’m just looking at the clock above them,” he lies, and it isn’t smooth in any way shape or form but it’ll have to do. “You know I can’t wait for this to end. I haven’t read any Carl Jung in weeks.”

Tara laughs, raising her wine glass slightly. “Now that I understand.”

“Nah, I’m not so sure,” Derek grins slyly, “I think my man has his eye on some girl and he’s just getting a little shy, am I right, pretty boy?” He quirks an eyebrow playfully, leaning over to pat him on the back, and Spencer scrambles to recover.

“Believe whatever you’d like, Morgan,” he says, bringing his own glass to his lips to conceal any tells in his expression. “Doesn’t make it any less false.”

Thankfully, the conversation is interrupted by the Director clearing his throat into the mic on the stage as he introduces the next round of awards. Spencer loses himself in the anonymity of a dark room and a clapping audience, grateful that he’s avoided this round of interrogation.

The rest of the night progresses similarly. Spencer tries to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table — and valiantly attempts to keep from blushing like a schoolgirl when their eyes meet and Luke’s lips quirk upwards in an I-tried-to-stop-it-but-I-just-can’t kind of smile — and the rest of his team rib him pretty relentlessly about this ‘girl’ he supposedly has his eye on.

Hotch tries to get the team to leave him alone, but when a group of skilled, determined profilers all a little tipsy on wine and champagne encounter a friend’s mysterious love life, it’s pretty difficult to stand in their way.

Once dessert is served, though, things rapidly go downhill.

As much as he’s been trying to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table, it’s almost impossible to prevent his gaze from straying in a temporary moment of cognitive lapse every now and then, and while everyone is relatively quiet and occupied, digging into the Belgian waffle dessert, it happens once again. This time, though, instead of a small smile from Luke, he’s rewarded with the frankly heart-stopping sight of a young, pretty agent practically sitting in his lap, trying to feed him dessert.

He looks uncomfortable, and immediately Spencer is hit with an overwhelming wave of insecurity, jealousy, and an urge to protect that strangles his breath for a moment. He stares unabashedly, no longer caring whether anyone sees him because that’s his boyfriend and an extremely pretty woman is all over him and he looks like he wants her to stop, and oh my god, what does he do?

“Is that the girl you like all over that dude?” Derek asks sympathetically, catching onto Spencer’s staring. “It’s alright, man, if she’d choose someone else over you then she’s not right for you anyway. Why don’t you come and enjoy your dessert?”

Spencer senses the rest of the team’s eyes on him, but they don’t say anything, probably from a combination of pity, awkwardness, and confidence in Derek to counsel him through it. He’s hardly cognisant of that, though, instead a roar of emotion crashing through his mind, and he has no idea what to do about it.

When he sees a perfectly manicured hand land directly on Luke’s chest, though; when he sees Luke reject her more firmly, this time pushing her away; when he watches as she clearly gears herself up for some sad protest of self-victimisation, he sees red.

Before he can stop himself, he’s storming across the room over to Luke’s table. “Hi,” he says firmly, audibly pissed off and not in the mood for bullshit, “do you mind if I borrow my friend here? I have some official FBI business to discuss with him. Thanks.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabs Luke’s arm and leads him to the corridor outside the main hall, Luke following quickly and willingly behind him.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asks with his brow furrowed, his hand coming up to gently rest on Luke’s waist as he peers at him concernedly through the dim lighting of the hallway.

“Yes, baby, I’m fine,” Luke smiles reassuringly, raising a hand to Spencer’s face. “I’m sorry you had to see that. She was… persistent.”

“She shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that,” Spencer insists, still feeling distressed and anxious despite the immediate situation having been diffused.

“You’re right,” Luke agrees. “And she should’ve listened to me when I told her I was taken. I’m sorry you had to see someone flirting with me so openly like that, carinõ, I know you still get insecure about things like that.”

Spencer sighs, relaxing slowly the more he hears Luke’s voice as steady and strong and kind as it always is. He steps forward and buries his face in Luke’s neck as he nestles in close for a comforting hug.

“You know I only have eyes for you, right, sweetheart?” Luke whispers softly, one arm holding his waist and another tangling itself in Spencer’s loose curls.

He nods into Luke’s neck, but doesn’t make any move to pull away, just enjoying the warmth and closeness of standing so intimately with the man he loves until—

“Spencer!” Derek’s voice pulls him violently from his sweet escape from reality and horror instantly floods him as he jerks away from Luke, staring at Derek in a nauseating mixture of alarm and trepidation.

“What…” Derek stares right back at him as both JJ and Tara come tumbling through the doors behind him, looking ready for a fight—

Oh. That makes sense. They all saw him storming towards a woman they thought he had a crush on, then pull the man she was flirting with out into the most secluded corridor surrounding the hall. Even considering Spencer’s character, he has to admit that the circumstances definitely look like he was gearing up for a fight, and everyone knows that he is not the kind of person who could hold his own against an ex-military man who chases down criminals for a living.

“You’re… not fighting him,” Derek says hesitantly, the puzzle pieces clearly falling into place for him.

Spencer shakes his head minutely, and is only thankful when Luke inches closer and wraps an arm around him. After all, he has nothing more to lose.

“You were looking at him, not her,” Derek continues slowly.

Spencer nods, unable to meet the eyes of any of the three friends standing in front of him.

“You’re dating him,” he says, still sounding shocked, his voice almost entirely numb. “You’re gay.”

“Or bisexual,” Tara offers, and Spencer takes a little comfort in the fact that she doesn’t sound shocked or upset, her voice warm and helpful. He tries to meet her eye, but he can’t work up the courage and buries closer into Luke’s embrace instead.

“Gay,” he whispers.

“Spence,” JJ says quietly, earnestly, “why didn’t you tell us?”

It’s too much to go into right now, too convoluted and long of a story for him to explain when even choking out a single syllable takes a herculean effort, so he shrugs instead.

“We were talking all night assuming you were interested in a woman,” Derek says numbly, more to himself than anything, but Spencer watches out of the corner of his eye as he shakes off the shock and comes back to himself, slowly putting more of the puzzle together as he looks at Spencer. “That’s why you didn’t tell us. We’ve been making assumptions all this time and hurting you in the process.”

“Oh, Spence,” JJ whispers sadly, stepping a little closer.

“I’m so sorry, pretty boy, I— I should’ve known or tried to be more inclusive at least, I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.”

The regret in his friends’ voices and the absence of a negative reaction brings him out of the safety of Luke’s arms slightly. His boyfriend is eyeing him with serious concern, and he tries a smile to reassure him a little, squeezing his hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he manages, clearing his throat awkwardly as he finally succeeds in making eye contact. “It’s a long story and I’ll tell you another time, but, uh​​— this is Luke. We’ve been together for eight months, two weeks, and four days.”

Luke smiles fondly. “As much as we didn’t expect to reveal it like this, it’s nice to meet all of you properly,” Luke says warmly, shaking everyone’s hands quickly before stepping back to Spencer and interlocking their fingers, pressing a quick but meaningful kiss to his temple.

“I’m really glad you felt able to share this with us, Spence,” Tara says encouragingly, smiling at him in that bright, reassuring way of hers that rivals Penelope in the warmth and comfort it radiates. “I’m proud of you.”

Something about her reaction this entire time has him wondering whether she already knew. He’ll ask her later when he feels less like his heart is still firmly lodged in his throat.

“Me too, kid,” Derek agrees, smiling as well. Spencer wonders whether the initial shock and numb reaction was more a response to his own behaviour than anything about him and Luke, and the thought makes him feel substantially better.

JJ grins, stepping forward and grabbing Spencer’s other hand. “Me three.”

Before anyone can say anything else, the doors are opening again and Penelope is flying through them.

“Oh! Thank god you’re all okay! You just ran off after Spencer and I left you guys to it because I thought you could handle it better than I could but then you didn’t come back and even Hotch was worried, and—” she cuts herself off as she realises everyone staring at her, and slowly she takes in the scene around her. “Oh my god, I’ve missed something. Oh my god, I missed a moment, didn’t I? What have I told you guys about having moments without me? Someone tell me what happened, please, before I explode—”

“Alright, Penelope,” Spencer chuckles, interrupting her. He’s known her for too long to expect her to cut herself off when she’s on a tirade like that. “Uh, this is Luke. My boyfriend.”

“Your… your boyfriend? Oh my god, I finally get to meet him? Wait you told the others? Oh my god I’ve missed so much!”

“Penelope knew?” Derek asks, surprised.

“Half of mine and Spencer’s mutual friends are FBI Agents, and the other half are drag queens, of course I knew,” Penelope dismisses him, “but he wasn’t ready for me to meet his boyfriend yet or even know his name and I very nicely did not go hunting to find him out because I could’ve done that, but I didn’t, because I value you so much as a friend, Spencer, and I’m so glad you finally—”

“Penelope!” Spencer interjects, laughing even more as the tension and distress he’d felt only minutes ago finally melts away fully. “Do you actually want to introduce yourself to Luke, or do you want to keep rambling about drag queens?”

“Right! Yes!” she says eagerly, turning to Luke. “I’m Penelope and it is so nice to meet you, like you don’t even know how much I’ve wanted to meet the man who has my blueberry muffin blushing bright pink in the corner of my batcave while he texts on the phone, and I know you call him carinõ because I saw a text once and it’s the sweetest nickname ever, you are just the cutest, and we are going to be best friends—”

Spencer rests his head on Luke’s shoulder as he listens fondly to Penelope rambling and his friends chatting amongst themselves and everyone getting to know the most important man in his life — the only man he’s ever wanted anything long term with, the only man he’s ever wanted to actually marry one day — and a warm, sweet feeling of contentment floods his chest.

It’s far from the way he thought he’d feel after the team found about Luke, and he savours it, holds it in his mouth for as long as he can before swallowing the memory and filing it away to treasure forever. A moment like this deserves that kind of reverence.

“How are you feeling about tonight?” Luke asks gently as they crawl into bed, tired but happy at gone 2am. He pulls Spencer into his side as soon as they’re under the duvet, resting his chin on his head as he always does.

Moments like these make Spencer smile, the kind of familiar routine that’s so essential to their relationship. Luke had figured out early on that close physical contact and firm touches make him feel safe and settle his racing mind, so they’d worked out positions that made them both feel comfortable, and now relaxing into them is second nature.

“A bit weird,” Spencer admits after thinking for a moment. “I’m happy that they know now and everyone took it well, but it’s strange. A significant part of who I am has been not only that I’m gay, but the dedication I felt to protecting that secret. And now that it’s out, it feels like something private has been bared for my friends to inspect.”

“I think that’s only natural,” Luke muses quietly, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s curls. “It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust eventually.”

Spencer sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. After I tackle telling Hotch and Rossi, it’ll be nice not to have to hide it. I’ll be able to talk about you at work and maybe even go crazy and put a photo of you on my desk.”

“Wow, that is wild, check you out,” Luke chuckles, before they settle into a comfortable silence in the warm glow of their bedroom. Eventually, he speaks up though, quiet and reverent. “I’m proud of you, carinõ. I really am.”

The words instantly make Spencer smile, a light blush tinging his ears again. He hides his face in Luke’s chest, scooching impossibly closer into his arms. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” Luke replies, a happy sigh in his voice.

He reaches over and turns off the bedside lamp. His hand returns to Spencer’s hair and something clicks into place somewhere, a fundamental alignment of the universe that brings a feeling of something so incredibly right as their breathing rhythmically matches to one another and they slide into the welcome embrace of sleep.

I hope you enjoyed that! I had a lot of fun with this one. If anyone has any more ralvez relationship reveal prompts, feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @marsjareau @hotchscotchh @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @thataveragenerd @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto @cmily @nudgerox @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @downwiththedoorpoole @nomajdetective (Add yourself to my taglist here!)

[notasapleasure]

Safe, 8 episodes (2018), part 1/2

Oh god, let’s get this over with then. I did already do a kind of deranged liveblog of my response to this show, so if you want more vagueing about the stupid plot/characters/concept then head over to that tag (#liveblogging safe). Or just watch it on Netflix yourself, but do make sure to lobotomise yourself with a screwdriver first.

Neil Chahal: beautiful, low-key unhinged, mysterious employment, tight chinos, lovely dressing gown, and you don’t want to know what it is that’s going to revive his ailing marriage to Zoe the French teacher!

Episode 1

We get the distinct impression immediately that everyone in his family finds him exhausting and wishes he would Just Stop. At first, it’s not clear precisely what’s so annoying, but he rises to the occasion pretty quickly.

NEEL. Sorry buddy, that’s your name now. (kneel)

He wants to treat his nineteen-year-old son Chris like a grown-up, so he’s frank with him (no, he’s NEEL </dad joke>) at the family dinner (while wife and daughter have gone away to sigh extravagantly elsewhere)

His son is less blasé about this than he expects.

The next day, Chris and his girlfriend Jenny (daughter of the mc, Tom, let’s not even get started on that guy) are missing.

DRESSING GOWN. FLUFFY. CLEAVAGE.

Chris said he was heading to Ioan’s house.

Oh hohoho wouldn’t you like to know dressing-gown boy he’s the year 12 [sixteen/seventeen-year-old] kid your wife is screwing but don’t worry there won’t be any consequences

Episode 2

Neel's very bad no good day continues, also he is ALWAYS just...hanging round at home waitting for bad news at the door

First up it’s the police with a warrent to search the place because his wife’s been arrested for being a suspected paedophile...

Tiny little meltdown of throwing things around :’)

Then it’s his bloody neighbour again asking after Chris and Jenny, who are still awol. Neel gives a bravado display of the insecurities of middle aged masculinity.

I want to say that it’s astounding to think he might be the kind of husband who ever did, but it’s actually not unimaginable. Neel is bitter, but it almost feels like having a teenage boy in the house has made him weird about his masculinity in a way he wasn’t before. Or maybe it’s the suspicion that his wife is fucking a different teenage boy. Anyway.

I don’t know how many times I can say that this man just makes me really sad? He seemed so desperate to talk to his family earlier and clearly just. doesn’t know how to. Acting like it’s FINE that his son doesn’t talk to him about things and that’s what he’s expect because Men Don’t Talk About Things!!

He’s not worried about Chris, but he does agree to let Jenny’s dad have a look round Chris’s room because of a couple of alarming texts.

The next screenshots are mainly for the hands on hips and trouser hoik, but also, for all my complaints about this show, we know this guy, don’t we? Sharing uncomfortable details about expensive home renovation when you don’t really know anything about him or his family? And then it’s not just his family who wish he’d stop talking. It’s strangers too. oh Neel. You’ve forgotten how to interact with people. too long wfh.

Did Chris go out on the Vespa?

Train times, probably, but Neel is sceptical. Afterwards, Marc Warren says what bad vibes the place has. And if Marc Warren thinks you have bad vibes, well, yeowch.

Episode 3

Chris is still missing, but by now we know he’s very much dead, and the family trying to hide the body is hilariously bad at it.

Meanwhile, Sophie, the main cop and sort of girlfriend of Tom, tells Zoe they now believe she’s been set-up and they’re trying to find out who would want to paint her as a paedophile. Neel looks moody in the rattan sofa:

is this like when you have a rowdy pet and you have to banish them to the garden when visitors come round?

Even Neel and Zoe’s daughter is starting to miss her big brother now! Who will take her to the cinema?

(Look! Neel has work to do! Do we know what it is? No)

Idk man. Is it meant to be messaging about how some lax continental child-rearing style Neel and Zoe (she is French, after all) followed has led to this situation, where they seem unconcerned by their teenager’s absence and the problem is more ‘you need someone to take you to the cinema’ rather than ‘your brother isn’t just giving me the cold shoulder he’s actually ignoring his whole family’? He did offer still, but man, pretty sure his daughter hates him. Should probably have gone ahead with the divorce before her exams, babe, sticking around isn’t helping.

Later on, he hears Zoe leaving Chris voicemails and does seem to share her concern a little?

---

End of Part 1. I’m splitting this into two posts, just in case it gets unwieldy with the screenshots - Chris’ body is found next episode, so there’s a bit more of the Chahals.

[fizzyxcustard]

As You Are.

Masterlist of all fics are here

Fandom: The Hobbit

Pairings: Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader, Thorin Oakenshield x PlusSize!Reader

Warnings: Angst, insecurity of weight and appearance, self hatred, dieting, fluff

Summary: Thorin becomes extremely concerned when he notices that you aren’t eating as much at meal times. He asks about this, only to find that you have been trying to diet as you are ashamed of your weight and think that Thorin would prefer you slimmer. 

Comments:  If you would like to be added to my tag list, or removed, let me know. I’m beginning a new tag list due to the fact that I’ve been inactive recently. Just a quick piece to stretch my writing muscles again. Enjoy!

“My love, you have barely eaten anything,” Thorin said, growing concerned as he looked upon all the various foods covering the table, of which you had only ate a few bits. Normally your appetite could have easily outshone his. In fact, Thorin had always enjoyed watching you have your fill. After all, when you had been on the quest together to re-claim Erebor, food had been scarce through parts of the journey. Being the queen meant that she lived a very luxurious lifestyle now, and that included delighting in many delicacies. 

You raised your head and your gaze lifted from where it had been in your lap for the last five minutes as you mentally felt disgusted with yourself. The rolls. The stretch marks. It all made you hate yourself. Back in your world and most men would have made you feel inferior for your larger build and compared your appetite to that of a farmyard animal who lived out in the dirt. 

“I’m just not that hungry,” you replied softly, feeling your chest tighten. 

“Is there something wrong?” Thorin asked, his brows furrowed. “This is not like you at all.” 

“What? To eat like a stuffed pig?” you barked back, fighting tears. 

Thorin was aghast at your outburst and placed his silver cup down with a dull thump upon the table. “And this outburst is most certainly not like you!” Thorin’s voice was firm, and it instantly made you recoil back in guilt and shame. 

One of the serving women came out from the kitchens and saw what was happening between you and Thorin, so she immediately disappeared back to where she came from. 

“Lets take this back to our chambers,” Thorin said, a sharp edge now apparent in his tone. 

The walk back to your royal chambers was quiet. Only the tapping of Thorin’s boots against the stone could be heard as you ascended flights of steps and traced hallways to the royal wing. The atmosphere between you both was tense and fragile. 

Thorin tossed his robe over the end of your bed and then looked at you, his blue eyes shining bright with question and frustration. “What was that downstairs? And tonight is not the first time that I have noticed you eating less and skipping meals.” 

That was true. Most mornings and your breakfast was left untouched, and on those days when Thorin was required in council early, you had requested no food to be sent up to you at all. Whenever Thorin tucked into a tasty dessert after his main dinner, you could feel yourself salivating. That only made you hate yourself more. 

“I’m disgusting, Thorin,” you said, your voice breaking. With that, you fell down on the bed. You placed your head in your hands and wept. 

Thorin was puzzled, but also grief-stricken at the sight of his One in such anguish. “My love?” he whispered, sitting beside you and taking your hand. “Where has this come from? Who has made you feel such a way? I know that it is not me. However could you say you are disgusting? You are beautiful. Every inch of you.” 

Tears blurred your vision as you looked upon your husband. “Back in my world and being overweight is seen as something that makes you less desirable.” 

Thorin scoffed. “Are men in your world really so blind? Your body shape shows that you are healthy. Less desirable?” Thorin chuckled in disbelief. “They cannot be serious. I adore you just as you are. And you have no idea how that body of yours makes me feel.” 

That response made you giggle. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” 

“Would I ever lie to you?” Thorin asked, raising his hand to your cheek where he brushed away your tears with his palm. 

“I just thought you’d want me slimmer....”

Thorin cut you off. “Shhh.” He curled his hand around your head, his fingers lacing in your locks. Then he placed his forehead against yours and kissed it softly. “You are utter perfection.” 

[m-y-fandoms]

1 Thing I Love & 1 Thing I Hate About EVERY Danganronpa Character Part 1

Part 2

SPOILERS FOR ALL THREE MAIN GAMES

I’d love to hear our opinions as well in the comments or my inbox or DM’s! If you try this trend with DR characters, tag me!

Sayaka Maizono

♡ Her passion for her career and friends.

✘ The way she tries to screw over Makoto when the game had just begun. Like wait and see what happens before screwing over such a great guy? Leon didn’t deserve it either.

Leon Kuwata

♡ His voice actor (English), and how real and human his execution was in that we all would be so scared and irrational. It was just so iconic and sad as it’s our first introduction to the death in this series and we all think: “shit, this is real... they are really killing these kids.” I didn’t think it would be that brutal, just seeing his body limp at the end with the haunting music.

✘ His design is disgusting. I hate how he looks.

Chihiro Fujisaki

♡ So innocent, so kind, so intelligent

✘ Shouldn’t have been killed for such a stupid reason, also they did Mondo dirty with that motive for killing as well. Just a mess. As for the actual character, Chihiro cries right off the bat when you do your introductions and that was kind of annoying to me personally.

Mondo Oowada

♡ He has a lot of respect, understanding and emotions for someone I thought would be a hard-ass douche biker.

✘ The worst motive to kill ever in a game where you know you’re getting executed if you’re found out. Like you’d be extra careful and that’s his reason to kill? Lazy writing.

Celestia Ludenberg

♡ Bad bitch energy and her goth lolita design.

✘ Manipulation and double murder. Bad bitch energy only goes so far. Confidence is different then selfishness. Also, of all the chapter 3 triple murders... the worst motive to kill.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

♡ Emotions: secure in his masculinity, able to cry, show emotions, and apologize when he’s wrong. He’s funny and likable.

✘ The Ishimondo white hair thing was stupid. Taka was fine on his own.

Hifumi Yamada

♡ Writing takes talent, fan fiction as much as any other style or genre. Also the talent of his voice actor (who also voices Kiibo/K1-B0).

✘ Literally everything else about him.

Sakura Oogami

♡ I love everything about her. I love her wisdom, loyalty, design, voice etc. Just step on me, mother.

✘ Why the hell would she ever agree to be a spy even if it meant the end of her dojo? I just don’t think she would do that rationally because she isn’t selfish. The others would suffer for her spying. She remedies this with redemption in her letter in chapter 4 but still she should’ve said no off the bat. Everyone had something to lose. The dojo wasn’t worth spying for monokuma. Also I just don’t think she would commit suicide. She can’t help the remaining students survive and redeem herself truly if she’s dead.

Kyoko Kirigiri

♡ Bad bitch energy, calm and collected when I could never be.

✘ Especially in future arc of the anime, damn can you show some emotion please? Through your words and expressions not just your actions. Sure she was willing to “die” for Makoto but like I just want more emotion from her sometimes, even in THH.

Makoto Naegi

♡ So pure. I Love Bryce Papenbrook. Makoto reminds me of Sora and I love his design.

✘ In THH I didn’t mind his innocence but in the Danganronpa 3 future arc anime, when people started straight up abusing him and accusing him, he needed to grow a little backbone.

Byakuya Togami

♡ Love my dad, king shit, also love how over the progression of the games and animes he becomes a little more kind to his friends.

✘ Why the fuck did he mess with Chihiro’s body? Just so cruel and disrespectful.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

♡ Funny magic man. Sexy voice.

✘ Please. Please Hiro use your brain just once. Why do we have to prove Kyoko isn’t a ghost?!

Toko Fukawa

♡ Character development in UDG and I love Genocider.

✘ Putting down herself and others constantly gets old in THH.

Aoi Asahina

♡ Love her voice actress and her personality

✘ We really just gonna get everyone killed in chapter 4 huh? Surely you know they don’t all deserve that.

Junko Enoshima

♡ A very memorable villain with great hair and design.

✘ I just can’t stand her. I hate her so much.

Mukuro Ikusaba

♡ Her mercenary background is super cool as a concept.

✘ Too bad it wasn’t explored nearly enough.

Hajime Hinata

♡ Seeing the protagonist be a little less naive, innocent and positive than Makoto was a refreshing change, although I loved Makoto. I liked Hajime’s cynicism and expressions that sometimes just screamed “this shit again, huh?”

✘ I enjoy the way Izuru looks but I hate him as a character. He is sexy to look at but Hajime is just a better character overall

Teruteru Hanamura

♡ His love for his family and mother especially is so cute and heart breaking if you know the full story.

✘ He needs to know when to dial it back and quit with the perversions. And no it’s not just how he looks, Miu needs to chill at times, too.

Twogami

♡ I feel like he genuinely cares about his friends, just hides it well

✘ His death felt like a cop out and poorly written. It just didn’t sit right with me. Also his design is disgusting to me, his outfit and such.

Mahiru Koizumi

♡ Loyal to her close friends.

✘ I just have no interest in her as a character and I find her boring.

Peko Pekoyama

♡ Loyalty. Loyalty is something I value very highly in every form of relationship. Peko is also very hot.

✘ Come on girl... I know how you were raised but you should’ve known Fuyuhiko didn’t think of you as just a tool and you two should’ve expressed your true feelings long ago. Like even in secret. How do you live like this? Also I feel like killing Mahiru could’ve been avoided with a calm talk.

Ibuki Mioda

♡ Cute design, positive vibes.

✘ Cringe sometimes in the way she talks.

Hiyoko Saionji

♡ Beautiful character design and some very good insults and snarky remarks at times.

✘ Just irredeemably mean and annoying. Even when you do her free time events she is just so annoying.

Mikan Tsumiki

♡ I like her design as well as her hair, expressions, sprites and clothing.

✘ I hate her. I just hate her whether she’s in her true psycho form or timid stuttering form. She’s just annoying in my opinion.

Nekomaru Nidai

♡ So supportive, can hold my drink at a party. Respects everyone and wants the best for them.

✘ Bro Mechamaru was a stupid plot point. I just couldn’t stand looking at him and couldn’t take it seriously. Still sad when he died though.

Chiaki Nanami

♡ From chapter 5 of sdr2 on she is impossible not to love if you didn’t already. Just the selflessness, the sadness of the reveal and execution, how she returns to help Hajime at the end???? I love her. I love her hair design, color palette, her personality, everything.

✘ I’m bitter and miserable about her being the only class member to actually die (the despair arc anime) also her falling asleep at random times is kind of odd and she doesn’t seem to be like that later on in the game??? Like it seemed like a cheap joke but not actually who she is? Hard for me to explain.

Gundham Tanaka

♡ King shit, couldn’t praise him enough. He’s sexy, loves animals, and is funny as hell sometimes. His voice actor is a saint and a cool dude and I named my guinea pigs after the Dark Devas (yes I know they are hamsters in the games.)

✘ Come on dude. I get that being from Hell and magic and having evil powers is your shtick, but we all know that you and Nekomaru sacrificed yourselves so the others wouldn’t starve. We know you care about your classmates. There comes a time when it’s time to let personas and facades fade and be true to your heart. I just feel like him denying he cared at the end hurt. We all know he cared. I didn’t like how he was haughty until the end. He deserved better. I love him.

Nagito Komaeda

♡ I love him so much. So cunning and intelligent, always a step ahead. And he’s big sexy.

✘ Him killing himself in chapter 5 hurt me so bad I was like in denial for days. Also hate how Bryce Papenbrook gives him a raspy stoner psycho voice in the game then a light airy higher-pitched voice in the despair arc anime. It just bothers me. I love his voice still but the inconsistency just hurts my OCD

Sonia Nevermind

♡ I love that she’s so interested in her passions and love her feelings for Gundham

✘ Her outfit and bow are atrocious. Also why didn’t she start liking and talking to Gundham sooner on? Their romance bloomed late and it would’ve made for a better chapter 4 ending if they were a bit closer.

Kazuichi Souda

♡ Cool design and outfit, love his voice (also voices Kaito in V3) and his backstory is relatable at times. He’s also very human in that he’s scared a lot of the time or insecure or blames others in panicked situations. It’s not always a good thing but it’s human and realistic.

✘ Gosh he can be so annoying. Sometimes flirting or whining too much is well... too much.

Akane Owari

♡ Strong-willed and definitely someone I would be friends with

✘ What the hell is her outfit? Gymnasts and athletes don’t wear that shit. Stop objectifying her when it doesn’t even make the product or plot better. Like there’s absolutely no point to making her dress that way. I was a gymnast for 15 years. Even those who do parkour (which Akane seems to do more often than actual gymnastics in the anime and game) don’t wear what she wears. Also she’s underrated.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

♡ I love him. He’s the DR character I’m most like out of all the games and anime. Tenko is a close second. I think he’s adorable, love his character arc, development, redemption, and love his voice.

✘ In the anime/despair arc, Fuyuhiko is not done justice. He doesn’t get enough lines, has a different voice actor, just doesn’t give off the same vibes.

Izuru Kamakura

♡ Sexy man long hair good.

✘ Boring character. I wish he were just Hajime.

Kaede Akamatsu

♡ Loyalty and leadership are such attractive qualities in her. Also she faced her death with such class and dignity and I respect her because I could never.

✘ Some of the voice lines Erika does for her are just weird and cringe. Just random moans or grunts... I don’t know it’s like when Ann Takamaki from Persona 5 (also voiced by Erika) makes suggestive noises as well. Just grinds my gears. Also hate her outfit down to the hair pins.

Shuichi Saihara

♡ I love his nasally voice. I love his design and he’s so adorable. I love how emotional and compassionate he can be. He ties with Makoto for favorite protag of mine.

✘ That sprite where he sniffs his hand. And his ugly ass hat.

Rantarou Amami

♡ Sexy man, sexy voice, sexy piercings

✘ Ugly outfit, and wasted potential

Ryoma Hoshi

♡ I respect him and feel bad for his outlook on life and for how poorly he views himself. I love his little hat as well and he’s the first “different styled” character (Hifumi, Bandai, Teruteru) that I liked the design of.

✘ I hate when he says “got a long ways to go,” it’s overused and annoying, and wish he gave himself more credit. Also hate that when you first meet him he warns you that he’s killed people and is dangerous to be around. Come on buddy, you know you wouldn’t hurt your friends. Stop pushing them away.

Kirumi Tojo

♡ Competence, well rounded, skillful

✘ Boring as hell. I wouldn’t waste one free time event on her.

Angie Yonaga

♡ Dark skin, super cute, love her talent as an artist myself.

✘ Gives religious people a bad name and is super manipulative which I hate.

Tenko Chabashira

♡ I relate to her and feel bad when she’s misunderstood. She’s a good person deep down. Also love her sprites.

✘ There’s more cunning, funny and clever ways to write her digs at men.

Korekiyo Shunguuji

♡ I’m in love with this man. Long hair, voice, mystery, mask, intelligence, passion, talent.

✘ He definitely was a victim of abuse and a lot of people refuse to see that and just hate him. Team Danganronpa should’ve given him a redemption arc where he realized his sister abused him and changed.

Gonta Gokuhara

♡ I love his design except for his suit. Also he’s so cute and naive. I cried for his trail.

✘ No need talk like caveman. Better way to do this.

Kokichi Ouma

♡ Like Nagito, I value his intelligence and crazy cunning.

✘ Shouldn't have died. Also shouldn’t have manipulated Gonta. That was just cruel.

Miu Iruma

♡ She has her hilarious moments and her death surprised me and was sad.

✘ Sometimes she lacks basic empathy, i.e. calling Tenko “Tencrotch” when she just fucking died.

Maki Harukawa

♡ Amazing character development. Didn’t see her surviving until the end at the start. Also her love and passion for Kaito.

✘ “Do you wanna die?” gets old.

Kaito Momota

♡ Just the overall best bro you could ever have.

✘ Has some toxic masculinity issues and anger issues.

K1-B0

♡ Pretty much everything about him. His design, his attitude and personality, especially how amazing and cool he is chapter 5 onward, his execution made me so sad. He’s so innocent and funny without trying.

✘ When you do his free time events he’s very arrogant and just talks about himself a lot... it seems odd and not similar to the Kiibo we see throughout the game.

Himiko Yumeno

♡ Super cute design, love her voice and “Nyeh...” and her sprites. Her character development is great as well.

✘ Why did they take so long to make her important and likable?

Tsumugi Shirogane

♡ An excellent and well hidden reveal

✘ I hate her. So annoying, from the voice to the references and her personality.