#tw deathwish

[whumpflash]

Penumbra: Uncertain

for Angstpril, Day 24: Trauma (alt)

cw: whump aftermath, wound cleaning, mentioned weight loss, non-sexual nudity, discussed death wish/suicide attempts

prev ///// masterlist ///// next

note: please mind the warnings. If you'd like to read a version of this chapter without a specific element, feel free to PM me and I'll send you an edited version. Stay safe, everyone!

•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•

It was a mile's trek back to their great-uncle's house, made all the longer with the pelt of the rain on their back and the weight of the injured man in their arms. Cerus had begun the journey upright, stumbling along with a thin arm wrapped around Tansy's shoulders, but it had soon become apparent that he was in no condition to walk. They'd lifted his shaking form, trying not to think about how light he was, how his flesh radiated heat even through the wet clothing. How the shipwrights had him working out in the cold anyway.

Neither of them spoke a word throughout, and when Tansy spared a glance down to check on Cerus, his eyes were closed. For his own sake, they hoped he was unconscious.

Aldon was still not home when they opened the door, but that was perhaps for the better. They weren't certain he'd be all too happy at the idea of sheltering the former tyrant. For now, Cerus would have to be their secret.

Tansy carried him upstairs, to the sparse room their uncle had set aside for them, and lay Cerus on the bed. Their shoulders burned from the effort of getting him here, but now was not the time to rest. They discarded their waterlogged cloak, and began to cut away Cerus's soaked rags. The man seemed to be awake now; half-lidded eyes above hollow cheeks, staring dully at the ceiling. He made no move to struggle, or even speak.

He was considerably thinner than he'd been at his trial, the sharp outline of ribs and hip bones jutting against pale skin. Scars and bruises, old and new, covered his body, and when they rolled him onto his side to check his back, they were met with a horrific number of whip marks, some still oozing blood, darkening the bedsheets.

Though his eyes were open, Cerus responded to Tansy's examination as if he were unconscious, offering neither remark nor resistance, and Tansy was left wondering if it was the fever that had left him numbed to the world around, or if it was simply how the man protected himself from the constant maltreatment.

"I'm going to clean your wounds," they said, watching for a response. To their surprise, Cerus's eyes sharpened.

"And wh—" He let out a cough that shook his body. "Why would you do s-something like that?"

Why indeed? Wanting to help the suffering was human nature, but when the sufferer himself was the cause of so much misery, what was one to do? They did not reply, rolling Cerus onto his stomach.

"Wait here," they said, though they doubted he was capable of doing otherwise, and walked down the stairs, toward the kitchen.

Why indeed. The strangeness of the situation was starting to take hold of them. How could they do something like this? Saving the very person they'd sworn to depose, bringing him into their home, tending to him. Would anyone else in the village, in all of Feyadel, do the same, or was Tansy mad for making such a choice? What would their comrades in the battalion think of their decision, were they here to see it?

More than why they'd done it, another question was heavy in their thoughts; what were they going to do, now that they'd chosen to help? Cerus was under sentence. He lawfully belonged to the shipyard, regardless of the abuse he'd suffer there. Even if they could grant him a reprieve from the rain, he couldn't very well stay here; eventually someone would come looking for him. Still, they couldn't in good conscience just hand him back over to the docks, not when he was clearly ill, not when he could barely stand.

For now, they'd try and curb their worries, and think only of tonight. Whatever tomorrow brought, they'd handle it in the morning.

They gathered linen cloth and water from the kitchen, tucking a small bottle of brandy under their arm as well. Tansy was a soldier, not a medic, but they'd still treated their fair share of wounds. The parcel of clams watched them forlornly from the wooden counter, and Tansy cast a glance back at it as they climbed the stairs. First they'd tend to Cerus, then get a start on dinner before their uncle returned. And hopefully, he wouldn't notice if they cooked for three.

Cerus flinched when they opened the door, as if startled from sleep, and Tansy knelt by the bed, depositing their supplies beside them.

"This will sting," they warned, as they wetted a cloth with brandy, then wondered why they bothered. Couldn't they at least find catharsis in the necessary pain that came with cleaning his wounds?

Cerus inhaled through clenched teeth as Tansy touched the cloth to his back, his next breath turning into a whimper when they began to gently scrub the torn, feverish skin. As much as they wished they could, Tansy found no solace in his pain. They finished cleaning and binding the cuts without another word, then covered Cerus with a blanket, trying to ignore the way he stared at them.

"You're not a priest," he said bluntly. "Nor a healer."

Tansy lifted their chin. "I'm a soldier," they replied. "I fought to end your reign."

He showed no reaction. "And you did. So why?"

Tansy turned away. They didn't need to have this conversation with him, of all people.

"Y-you should've left me."

That halted them in place. "To die?"

Cerus let out a bitter laugh that rapidly degraded into a coughing fit. "Do you think I don't desire an end? Do you think I fear death enough to cling to a life such as this one?"

Tansy frowned. "If that were so… would you not have found your own end?"

 "If I throw myself into the sea, they haul me out. If I cut a vein, they hold me down and send for a healer. I am not allowed to escape. All I can do is wait for my body to fail."

"You'd rather I'd left you to be beaten, then."

"I have received more beatings than a man can count. What's one that goes unfinished?" His words dissolved into another vicious cough. "You were a soldier. Certainly, you saw friends felled by my troops. Family."

"You'd have difficulty finding a soldier who hasn't," Tansy answered, their tone flat. Why would he bring up such a thing now? Did he wish to turn them against him, to drive them to throw him back out into the rain?

"Then you have as much reason to hate me as everyone else," Cerus said. "Why bring me here? Why not leave me to die, or even end me by your own hand?" He tried to push himself up with shaking arms, but fell back onto the bed with a cry. "Y–ghnn—you've lost family by my hand. This very village burned by my hand. Why let me draw another breath? Why not strike me down?"

Tansy shook their head. It seemed that Cerus was trying to goad them into anger, but why? Whatever the reason, they would not allow themselves to be persuaded by him.

"I've seen enough bloodshed for one lifetime," they answered.

"And I am at fault for that," Cerus protested.

They closed their eyes against his words, reaching for the door. "Rest."

"I felt no remorse, no regret," Cerus called after them, voice rising, shaking. "Will you not take vengeance?"

Tansy closed their fingers around the door's handle, clenching it tightly. They almost wished they could, and certainly wished they didn't feel this odd, misplaced pity. But it wouldn't be vengeance anymore, it would be simple cruelty. An honorable execution was seven months too late, and they could never bring themselves to raise a hand against someone as weak and sick and hurt as Cerus was right now, especially not at his behest.

When they glanced backwards, the former tyrant was wearing an expression they couldn't quite place. Was it anger? Fear? Simple disbelief that Tansy would dare tend to him?

"Will you not take vengeance?" he repeated, his voice now barely above a whisper, and Tansy shook their head.

"What vengeance is left to take?" they murmured, and finally opened the door, stepped through, and pulled it closed behind them.

§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§•§

@whumpwillow @rabbitdrabbles @kixngiggles @honeycollectswhump

[bloodfreak-boyking]

things that make me aboslutely batshit insane about this scene:

1.) sam being so willing to just straight up kill himself (i love u martyr boy <3)

2.) dean's absolute REFUSAL of that plan (the very soft way he says "for the last time, no" to sam when its just the two of them - i could survive on that alone for eternity)

3.) dean is willing to give up his most PRIZED POSSESSION, HIS PRECIOUS IMPALA, to a COMPLETE STRANGER, bc he's not leaving sam here alone to die

4.) sam trying so hard to get dean to leave, to get dean to live (but ultimately failing because if sam isn't alive dean doesn't want to be either in fact he'll make sure he isn't either)

5.) dean trying to use humor to make this all seem so casual once they're alone, as if he isn't sacrificing his life for the sake of his brother

I truly believe that if Sam was infected and Dean did have to kill him, he'd pull him into a big ol' bear hug, press their faces together cheek to cheek, put the gun at his temple, and pull the trigger to shoot both of them in the head simultaneously.

[dreamyren]

recently had a dream that there was an early 2000s horror-thriller movie based on an MCR song and had that MCR song in its dramatic climax, it was about a girl who comes back as a revenant to unveil the dark secrets of the rich family who killed her in a small suburban town ❤️🖤

(the song was ‘it’s not a fashion statement it’s a deathwish’ btw)

[bembwashere]

𝓦𝓘𝓢𝓗𝓔𝓢 𝓓𝓞 𝓒𝓞𝓜𝓔 𝓣𝓡𝓤𝓔

(GORE/BODY HORROR AND BRIGHT, VIVID COLOURS!)

I've always thought that the EX versions of the bosses should of been cooler, like some sort of design change instead of the rainbow effect they have in-game. So I've done a couple redesigns for the Deathwish versions of the bosses! (Excluding Snatcher because he's behind all of this and he thinks he's perfect 🙄)

The context is that Deathwish is where Snatcher has this sort of alternative pocket-dimension universe where the Deathwish challenges take place, and he goes around asking these other versions of the bosses what they desire most, corrupting them for his use in the hellish battles he puts Hat Kid against.

---

---

I've had these in my files for a while but I've never known when to post em' because I'm honestly really proud with how most of them turned out. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy my takes on the Deathwish EX bosses! (Individual renders of each boss under the cut!)

[youngpeachenthusiast]

the funny thing is people will claim that they don't mind you being physically present at events but not actively participating until you tell them that you are happy to be there, just unable to actively participate in activities. then suddenly it's not okay anymore and actually "it's okay on the daily but we'd expect something more on this event, otherwise it's just boring"

feels yucky. i enjoy just being there in company and watching them do stuff, and it really is painful to know that they feel me being unable to participate in their activities is apparently boring and apparently makes it useless for me to even show up lol. i'm so tired.

[brokenxheart]

i wasn't supposed to live this long.

[betyourefine]

Cheers for another year where we wish we didn't exist.

[soupiero]

🪩 > mikey way , deathwish comic stimboard ^_^

❔< teal , ghost , and realated stims

🥏 > divider by x

🌀 > 🛸 |❕| 🛸 |❕| 📘 |❕| 🛸 |❕| 🛸 |

[catgirlkirigiri]

I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take

I’m coming back from the dead

[underneathoursouls]

My second MCR show in a week (first was in mk, now in Dublin) teenage me is QUAKING and 22 year old me is SHOOK

It's not a fashion statement, it's a fucking deathwish

Also please excuse my voice I couldn't help myself I sound like a dying whale but THATS NOT THE POINT

[poachcubus]

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 ☠️

[metagalacticx]

♪

"Kissin’ the knife

A cynical and miserable high

Can see the end of this in your eyes" (deathwish by stand atlantic)

[gerardwaybrainrot]

(x)

[edajcheel]

TW: Yandere.

Imagine this, you're just an average student in night Raven College. You blend in very well with all the idiots and high-mighty men, thus, being a background character.

But suddenly, a person by the name of "yuu" comes and asks you for help for one of their assignments, you sit next to them and share multiple classes with them.

Soon, you began hanging around this person and grow a friendship with them.

But you always feel eyes behind you, piercing into your back as if you were prey.

After you finished your lunch with Yuu, and go your separate ways. You get cornered in a hallway that's clear of all students.

The infamous brothers, the leech twins, corner you from behind and front, no where to escape.

"Heyyyy small fry, do you have a deathwish?" Floyd Leech, the more aggressive twin pipes up.

"Oh, don't be harsh Floyd. We have yet to question them."

Seems like they have a unhealthy obsession with your newfound friend, Yuu, is what you figured out. They were planning to dump your corpse somewhere, and get rid of you for talking to their "Angelfish"

But you somehow came up with a good reason that let you live... "Uhh.. hey, I can bring you undiscovered information about Yuu if you let me live.." You quietly mumbled out.

Both of the twins looked at each other, seemingly sharing unintelligible words and emotions that you can't seem to decipher.

"We will accept your offer on that, but on one condition, you will not touch them nor handle them in any such way." Jade leech, the more "calmer" of both the twins said.

Although... You wouldn't call that calm.. more like he's just trying to hide his feelings of aggression towards you. He could snap your neck in any second if you so much as make the wrong move.

So it began, you being the "spy" for the twins. Trying to scope specific information from Yuu was hard. Personal information. It really seems like they aren't even THEIR own person. More like they just follow a script on what they like and do.

"what's your favorite color?"

"hmm.. I like all colors!"

"What's your favorite food?"

"it's hard to pick, everything tastes great to me."

You went back and forth to the twins, telling them the information you gathered till this day. You've seen and know how they react to most things, they're obsessive, cunning, possessive people that you don't want to mess with. Being with them, suffocated you a lot. You had to make sure not to get on their bad side, or do anything rash.

You avoid the touch of Yuu as much as you can. You avoid talking to them about other topics except for the topics that the twins tell you to speak about. But for crying out loud, whenever Yuu sights you out from the crowd, you can see them full speeding towards you. Can't you get any rest from this place?

You take safety measures and always find a way to escape from Yuu's grasp.

You really don't understand what your relationship has come to with the twins. Soon, all three of you begin hanging around at Mostro Lounge. In addition, you give them good information about Yuu while they sneak you free drinks. A win win. Their drinks are over expensive anyways, so it greatly benefits you.

You just hope that their house warden, Azul Ashengrotto, doesn't find out. Or you'll be in a deeper hole than you already are.

As the three of you hang out more, gradually growing loose with each other, even asking them for help with homework. You soon see yourself smiling in their presence, actually having fun. You don't know what their thought process was with this sudden change, but they dont seem to mind much.

They call you in for another small meeting, probably telling you what topic to cover with Yuu.

"Alright! What's my next mission impossible?"

Jade shows his infamous "gentleman" smile as he softly places his hand to his chest "We desire to see what you've been up to lately."

You quirk your brow in confusion. "Eh? What do you mean by that?"

"You're sooo slow guppy! It's not that complicated, we want to know what you've been doing these past days!"

Ah shit. Do they think you're plotting behind their back? You really thought that you gained their favor, and maybe became actual friends. Seems like they still don't see you as anything other than their information giver.

"I haven't been doing anything with Yuu, if that's what your speculating..." You address them calmly and seriously. Making sure that you sound convincing.

"No, you've misunderstood. That question is purely for you, Y/n." Jade's hand was boldly placed on the side of your face, as if to caress it. "You know, guppy, we've been bored lately.." Floyd shows his jaggered teeth, resembling a sharks.

They both grin. Floyd donning a smirk, while Jade's sharp teeth was out in display.

"We've grown interest in you, dearest Y/n."

"More than we've grown interest in Shrimpy.. theyve been boring these past few days..."

ANNNNNNDDD THATS WHEN YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH TWO YANDERE FUCKERS, THE DAMN LEECH BROTHERS, EVERYDAY IN YOUR LIFE!!! GOOD LUCK!! Cause they won't be hiding their affections and obsessive love towards you like they did with Yuu. Well, at least you have two tall, handsome bodyguards right? Not just one, but two. This was longer than I expected it to be..

This was inspired by the manhwa, I Love Amy, go check it out! It's 5 stars!

[eldritch-spouse]

Totally asking for a friend...

Which one of your OCs are the most masochistic?

(Love your work so much btw!! xx)

[You can guess this one if you've been here for any length of time. Thenk you!]

TW: Brief mention of self-harm.

Give it up for the resident pain slut- Patches. He's dead but his deathwish just won't leave. Pull him apart, put him back together, he'll let you do just about any manner of unspeakable things to him.

Don't you love someone eager for penance- Belo can be very punishment hungry in the right circumstances, rest assured.

Pain is a form of art- Shags agrees with this! So much so that he's used his own body as a canvas many times before. You two might just get along.

Pain is exciting- Rei would know all about the rush of a dislocated limb and the euphoria of a dangerously lethal gash, the promise of doom.

[youngpeachenthusiast]

suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem suicide is a