#unless they're killed by a fire person i guess

[theoldandnewfirm]

Saw Elemental and enjoyed it a lot more than the trailer suggested I would. I should have remembered that Pixar's marketing is/always has been terrible and their movies are always more nuanced than it makes them appear.

It did leave me with a lot of questions about the...physics? Biology? Of the various elements, but other than that, it was a neatly packaged, touching little story. Probably won't rewatch it, but I'd still recommend it if you've got a free space on your "to watch list."

[demaparbat-hp]

The issue is that you’re always giving Katara the bare minimum of her culture. In your AUs, she can’t have both a betrothal necklace and hair loopies - she either has to have one or the other. I couldn’t even tell that it was Katara in your Lee and Kya AU. I thought it was Jin.

I think it’s wrong to assume that anyone who has an issue with your Fire Nation Katara AUs are automatically jealous and bitter Zutara antis. Even having read all the context, your portrayal of Katara in the Hunters AU along with the caption makes me uncomfortable as a woc.

I know it seems like I'm always putting Katara, in specific, in an uncomfortable position. Maybe I am.

I love to explore what situations like those—being forced to hide who you are, always a foreigner, holding on to a single remnant of your identity (and doesn't that sound like Zuko?)—do to a character. I don't always get it right, but I don't think there is a right way to do it.

These are extremely sensitive subjects, I know, and they are important to me, too.

It is never my intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable with what I think or how I decide to express it. I'm genuinely sorry if I made you feel that way.

I love these fictional cultures. I love these characters. And I don't want to "give Katara the bare minimum of her culture", but putting her in a position, within the AU, where she is forced to have only said bare minimum has consequences that I feel compelled to explore. Not only with Katara, but also with Zuko, with Aang, with Iroh, with Sokka... They are all different characters and react to these issues differently, and that's so interesting to think about.

The Southern Water Tribe culture is dying. Katara's culture is dying, and my stories' intention is not to finish the kill—I want to see how, despite every single obstacle thrown in its way, Katara's culture survives. And if I have to let her keep only her necklace to do so, then so be it.

On the other hand, I never thought of you as an anti, nor was it my intention to treat you, or any other anon, like one. You have been nothing but respectful so far (am I right to assume you're the one who asked about Katara's cultural identity in the first place?), and I would be a hypocrite to demand said respect without giving it in return.

Antis are rude. Antis are spiteful. Antis mention colonizers and woc and domestic abuse without caring or knowing about what they're talking about. Antis tear you down to feel better about themselves.

I refuse to treat anyone like an anti unless they give me reasons to do so.

You are not an anti. You are a person who has legitimate concerns about how I tackle sensitive issues in my AUs and artwork. You disagree with me, and you state your reasons for doing so, because these themes are important to you, personally.

I don't expect anyone to readily agree with me on anything. My opinion is my own, with all the conflict and trouble it may bring me. But it is mine, and I will defend it. However, I'm also self aware enough to recognize when I'm wrong, and when I'm treading on dangerous ground.

Someone once told me I'm as neutral as a wall. They meant it as an insult, but I guess they're right.

Judging everyone for the actions of a few is not really my thing. I have only come across one single anti so far (fortunately). I'm not about to get on the defensive and start attacking everyone. Unless they deserve it.

[godisasimp]

Firefly's true identity "theory"

But like there is so many signs pointing towards it I don't think it's a theory.

There's 1 singular picture that is a leak : so no story leaks - but spoilers for Penacony's 2.0 story and if you want to keep yourself as blind and go with what you want to keep the suspense i would advise you do not read this theory : it could ruin the upcoming reveal and make it less impactful for some.

1- Firefly is working with someone

A person that can make themselves invisible through memories, as if bending reality to keep their identity secret. We only of one person that can do something like this : SilverWolf, a Stellaron Hunter. But upon first arriving in Penacony's dreamscape, we see SilverWolf... But who is she with? Sam.

Also it is very in character for the Stellaron Hunters to work in the shadows ; they rarely play a major role in the stories we've seen so far. Even when they were the ones to initiate the story of The Xianzhou Luofu they weren't the main antagonist, they were in the background.

So them being in the shadows doing their thing? Yeah.

Also both Firefly and her companion are interested in the Watchmaker's "Legacy", which is most likely a Stellaron (see Bonus) so that mysterious companion being a Stellaron Hunter is highly likely.

2- Firefly mentions a "Mecha"

There isn't a lot of humanoid robots in Honkai Star Rail, let alone in Penacony, the "Silver Armor" also basically confirms that this is Sam they're talking about. Now why would Firefly of all people talk about Sam ?

She has no reason to know him and talk about him ; unless he was chasing her but Sam doesn't chase people. He is stated to be the most ruthless Stellaron Hunter : ''If you entered the room and turned on the lights Kafka and Blade would be waiting for you on the couch, Sam? He wouldn't even let you turn the lights on''

So if he was pursuing Firefly. She would have been dead the millisecond their eyes meet.

While talking about Sam's violence I'd like to point out that : He didn't acknowledge Trailblazer (only mentioning the Galaxy Hunter and Memokeeper) and allowed us to leave. Yes, the one who would kill in a fraction of a second, would have spared the Trailblazer. Maybe it's because of Elio's plan for the Trailblazer (we were given life by the Stellaron Hunters so it would be weird for them to kill us right after) or it could be because Firefly's consciousness (still unclear if Sam and Firefly are two identities for 1 person or 2 separate entities) stopping Sam due to her affection for Trailblazer.

3- The achievement

I have nothing to say except that it's weird that the achievement we get for fighting Sam is named "Old Friends, New Friends" why would it be named that? Sam isn't a friend to the Trailblazer, at this point in time he is an enemy.

4- Sam's design

First let's talk about his "wings"

Those aren't designed as random shapes, but specifically to look like fireflies wings.

Images as well as this "fact" are taken from TheRealPetraeus on Twitter

Also Sam's color scheme/palette is very close to Firefly's : mainly light gray/Silver with teal and brown accents and even the orange "scarf" Firefly has could represent Sam's fire

5- Clockie

Clockie can only be seen by childish/pure hearted people, but guess who can't see him? Firefly, despite her seemingly fitting the criteria perfectly.

-------

Bonus : Watchmaker's "Legacy"

It isn't said what this legacy is, but the presence of the Stellaron Hunters is a massive hint at the fact that a Stellaron is present in Penacony ; this and the fact that Penacony is encountering a crisis with the Dreamscape. And Firefly is after this "Legacy" ; which is both a hint at the true nature of the Watchmaker's "Legacy" and Firefly's true identity as a Stellaron Hunter.

[gofancyninjaworld]

"It struggles but it still obeys" -- OPM webcomic chapter 150 review

Summary

The trap we've been waiting to see sprung has finally started to close. Everywhere we look, the triumphant Neo Heroes are stopping, stuttering, and freezing, their pupils fixed and dialated like a corpse's. Then, they move, reanimated to a new existence, one they have no control over. Only lucky individuals who've modified their suits in some way -- or had them broken -- have escaped. And as Accel, Puri Puri, and Amai Mask will testify, the new Neo Heroes attack former allies savagely on sight.

Elsewhere, we see Genos encounter 'Boros's' brain-dead corpse. It has been kept functional on life support in the second of Metal Knight's labs. Noting that the creature is an incredibly powerful one that can't be allowed to rampage. Genos nevertheless feels for it: it's being kept alive to fight. Like him. While Google Translate isn't the best, the translation it comes up with, of Genos saying that at least one of them should have an easy escape when he moves to kill 'Boros', really hits hard.

We see how clearly Genos sees the situation he's in. The rampaging cyborg screwed him out of his past and any social context. Dr Kuseno screwed him out of a future. And now Saitama, the lackadaisical, uncaring Saitama, has been screwing him out of any chance to salvage anything of value out of his situation. Damn straight he's angry.* And in a hurry. There better be a kindly deity willing to pour cooling water on Dr Bofoi's soul, for unless there's a miracle of understanding to stay Genos's hand, that soul is about to be parted from its body with flames so hot it'll arrive in the afterlife still on fire.

Speaking of the lackadaisical Saitama, he's been doing a good job of eliminating the robots wherever he's encountered them. Blue follows the trail of the storm of robot parts he's been flinging hither and thither and accidentally gets steam-rollered by Saitama. That's where the chapter ends.

When we'll continue, your guess is as good as mine.

Meta

Insects. That's all that people are worth to The Organization. It's been nearly three years since I first pointed out the difference between the cyborgs we'd been seeing to date to what the Neo Heroes were doing. I brought up this harrowing reality of using insects as cyborgs and forcing them to move according to an operator's instructions:

"It struggles but it still obeys," is what the lead scientist says. In the story, we see human beings living this reality. Raiden must have incredible willpower: despite everything, he's able to stutter a few words to Puri Puri, begging the latter to save him from his torment even as he rains blows down on the hero.

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/OnePunchMan/comments/1agdu1y/translation_of_raidens_muttering_webcomic_spoiler/

For luckless souls who fall into the tender mercies of Erimin and Destro and their 'recovery' capsules, there's an even crueler fate waiting. I'll save that for another day. We'll find our way back to what's happening at Neo Hero HQ in time.

Yes, we the readers have been sitting on high being fed the answers to the evil behind the Neo Hero facade. We may not know who is ultimately responsible, and we may not yet know why, but we know a lot and a lot looks 'obvious' to us. However, the characters in the story can only discover the reality based on the evidence they actually have access to and what they already know/think. ONE is very strict on rules of evidence. If it's taken various individuals until now to start to know, it's not because they're stupid. Never think that, oh person given the answers from the back of the book.

The question is what are the individuals who have begun to understand what's happening going to do? They're all scattered in a deeply hostile and dangerous world -- and there isn't much time to do something before civilization is too broken and cowed to function.

That is, of course, the most urgent problem. Speaking of saving civilization, is the Hero Association going to be saved? But there are other urgent problems. Like, one cannot help but worry that Dr. Bofoi is the wrong target to eliminate. He surely deserves some karma but it may well be a gross miscarriage of justice. What's going to happen there? What's going to happen with 'Boros' (I'm not going to take away the quotations until the critter has a mind of his own again)? And really, who truly is behind all this and what do they want?

Tune in sometime in the future to find out.

Aside

*Yes, I have a lot more to say about this, but I need first to set the context to what I'm going to say. So look for additional meta. Nag me if I'm tardy!

[masterqwertster]

Been thinking about it, so:

Bells Hells C1 Class Swap AU and the Spark of Rau'shan

The fun of AUs is at times taking the paths canon didn't...

Also this is really long so I put it under the cut.

So! Bells Hells still makes the trip through the Shattered Teeth, meets Evontra'vir, gets sent after the Spark, successfully retrieves it, goes back to Whitestone for the Quintessence Array.

Things go a little different in that when talking dunamancy with Allura, she does recognize the Echo Knight powers as such, though obviously different since Ashton's come in different forms. And still takes a look at the half-beacon brain and titan shard.

The big change though, comes later that night, when Fearne brings the group together to declare that she can't take the Spark, despite everyone else pushing for her to do it.

See, Fearne's power, her fire, comes from the Moonweaver in this AU, a Prime Deity who stood against the Primordial Titans, helping destroy and seal them. When Fearne held the Spark, she could feel Rau'shan's dislike for the gods, for those who serve them. So she knows the Spark won't accept her as its vessel.

Fearne also points out that this disqualifies Orym for the Spark as well, seeing as the little paladin is also devoted to a goddess.

Ashton volunteers themself in the ensuing silence of realization and states an unwillingness to back down unless someone else truly wants to have their life changed like that. No volunteering someone else for it anymore. He also points out that someone has to take it, otherwise Ludinus Da'leth is going to send someone to collect it for him, and that would be really fucking bad.

Imogen, as the first person to volunteer Fearne, thinking she had the perfect solution to bestowing the Spark, looks around to everyone else, hoping someone will step up and stop Ashton's bad idea.

No dice.

Chetney thinks Fire Titan powers would be cool as shit... but doesn't want to be constantly risking burning his carving projects to ash. ...And secretly worries that his limited time left among the living would leave the group in lurch on such an amazing (and likely necessary) power. If trying to take it doesn't make his old ticker give out.

Laudna won't take it on the grounds that she's kind of a mushroom colony and fire would burn her out. She doesn't want to burn, to die (again). (Yes, Delilah would still like it. Especially as All Minds Burn's influence is pushing her out and breaking her tether)

Laudna's rejection helps Imogen not want the Spark. She doesn't want things that will hurt Laudna or put distance between them. (Even if Imogen is starting to long for a power she doesn't have to worry about disappearing if they stop all this Moon Bullshit)

And while FCG is willing to try, they don't actually want it. ...And he has some concerns about his constructed nature meaning that trying to add a great power like the Spark to him without making adjustments to his built-in parameters might just overload his power-core and explode him. Or cause a critical (literal) meltdown.

So by default and desire, it's agreed that Ashton gets the Spark.

Now, because they have lots of warnings that this could kill Ashton and yet they're trying it anyways, things become a planning session for "What can we do to give Ashton the best odds of surviving this?"

Which is actually quite a bit given their party composition, as:

Paladin (Level 8 or less) Orym has:

Bless: 1st Level. 1 minute Concentration. Component of A Sprinkling of Holy Water. +1d4 to Attack Rolls and Saving Throws. I would guess they didn't try this in canon since Ashton's Probability Matrix didn't help and is basically the same thing. Though whether that failure was because it was Ashton's thing or just no boosts to Saving Throws in general… only Matt knows. Also, the Component being holy water... it might evaporate and negate the spell depending on if the holy water needs to touch the targets rather than be in the caster's hands

Cure Wounds: 1st Level. Restore 1d8+Your Spellcasting Modifier HP, +1d8 per level cast above 1st. Raw healing with the drawback of burning the caster

Heroism: 1st Level. 1 minute Concentration. At the start of its turn, the target gains Temporary HP equal to your Spellcasting Modifier. Kind of functions like Fearne's canon Aura of Life in that it would bounce Ashton up with each turn, though with Temp HP instead of the real deal. But that does provide time for real healing

Warding Bond: 2nd Level. Components of 2 Platinum Rings worth 50 gp each that must be worn by you and the target for the duration. +1 to AC and Saving Throws, and Resistance to all Damage. Drawback of taking equal damage yourself when the target does. Lasts for 1 hour, until you drop, or you and the target are separated by more than 60 feet. Or the spell is cast again on you or the target, or voluntarily ended by you as an Action. This could definitely help keep Ashton up, though there is a risk of Orym going down as well. And the Platinum Ring Components get tricky if the wrong arm/hand crumbles off of Ashton

Lay on Hands: Paladin healing pool of 5×Your Paladin Level HP that can be parceled out via touch with an Action. This can be used to either help keep Orym up for Warding Bond or just on Ashton in general. Though best not combined with Heroism or Bless since they're touch-based and touch burns, forcing a Concentration Check

Cleric (Level 11) Fearne has:

Aura of Life: 4th level. 10 minutes Concentration. Any ally in 30 foot radius regains 1 HP at the start of their turn if they are at 0. Fearne's canon MVP for keeping Ashton up

Aura of Vitality: 3rd Level. 1 minute Concentration. Restore 2d6 HP to one creature in a 30 foot radius of you with a Bonus Action. FCG's canon MVP for pumping extra health into Ashton. Also, since it's a Bonus Action to pump healing with this, it leaves room for a Spell Action to do even more healing

Beacon of Hope: 3rd Level. 1 minute Concentration. Affected creatures regain max HP possible from healing. Runs support for everyone else healing if Heroism is used to cover the role of Aura of Life

Bless: Possible boost to Saving Throws

Cure Wounds: Raw healing with the drawback of burning the caster

Death Ward: 4th Level. Drop to 1 HP instead of 0 from Damage the first time. Negates instant death effects that don't deal Damage. One Get Out of Jail Free card, though less useful with an Up Every Turn spell going on

Heal: 6th Level. Restore 70 HP. Good for one big burst of healing.

Healing Word: 1st Level. Bonus Action. Restore 1d4+Your Spellcasting Modifier HP, +1d4 per level cast above 1st. Raw healing without touch, so no threat to maintaining Concentration while throwing on more healing, but doesn't jive with Aura of Vitality Bonus Action healing

Druid (Level 11) Laudna has:

Aura of Vitality: Bonus Action for decent healing as long as Concentration is maintained

Cure Wounds: Raw healing with the drawback of burning the caster

Goodberry?: 1st Level. Component of A Sprig of Mistletoe. Produces 10 berries, eating one restores 1 HP and enough nourishment for 1 day. I think the berry would burn like the potion did, but it is potential to pop Ashton back up.

Heal: Good for one big burst of healing

Healing Word: Raw healing without touch, so no threat to Concentration, but is also a Bonus Action vs Aura of Vitality

Ranger (Level 8 or less) Imogen has:

Cure Wounds: Raw healing with the drawback of burning the caster

Goodberry?: potential to restore 1 HP in a pinch

Bard (Level 7 or 8)/Artificer (Level 3 or 4) FCG has:

Cure Wounds: Raw healing with the drawback of burning the caster

Healing Word: Raw healing without touch

Heroism: Temporary HP to bounce Ashton up every round

Boldness Elixir?: Alchemist Artificer's get Experimental Elixir, which allows for the random creation of one of six mini-potions. Boldness works like Bless, plus 1d4 to Attack Rolls and Saving Throws for 1 minute. Best to take that before they start absorbing the Spark, otherwise evaporation. If it works at all

Honestly, the only ones who can't contribute any healing or help? Ashton and Chetney (which also says something about the healing game of Vox Machina. It's likely part of how they managed so well without their cleric Pike most of the time). So really, having Ashton or Chetney take the Spark gives them the best odds for keeping the absorber up.

Bells Hells meets with Percy and Allura the next day and declare their intent for the insane and a need to delay the Moon Scouting Mission for another day. So hey, you've got more prep time for these awesome plans you've come up with!

It's stupid and crazy... and the only option they've really got at this time, unfortunately. And well... Percy and Allura have seen crazy and stupid work, so might as well let them try. While hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

Percy takes them all down to the Ziggurat as both a place of power to help the ritual and somewhere mostly isolated to keep the damage away from his people and city. Allura throws up the Magic Shield Bubble.

Bells Hells readies their spells, throws down what they can beforehand, and get Ashton hooked up in the Quintessence Array (in their skivvies to spare what's left of their clothes after the lava bath).

The ritual begins, with Ashton expanding and breaking and burning like canon.

Except when they fail a Save and explode, Ashton tries to Echo out of the explosion. Though instead of creating a single Echo to uselessly swap places with, Ashton accidentally splits themself into three bodies, three vessels, for the powers he contains:

A burning efreeti-like fire genasi Ashton, Vessel of the Spark of Rau'shan. Basically what Ashton would be like if he were still soft with canon!Fearne's Demi-titan style and a general fire genasi aesthetic layered over it.

A hulking, more Elemental earth genasi Ashton, Vessel of the Shard of Ka'Mort. Ashton's canon Demi-titan Form. Maybe a little bigger and more jagged. Also, the glass in their head is dark, no firework lights, though still an opal brain under there.

And a galaxy-winged aasimar Ashton, Vessel of Dunamancy. Basically what Ashton would have been without the Shard of Ka'Mort but still influenced by his half-beacon brain. Also, the gold scars and glass are still there, which looks odd on "human" flesh, but does help Bells Hells know that these are all Ashton.

The three Ashton Vessels are also connected by tethers of power, similar in appearance to a Twinned Witch Bolt, though with dunamantic flavoring as the Dunamancy Ashton is putting them out to the Titan Twins.

It is not, however, a Witch Bolt, but rather Ashton's will keeping the two Titan Fragments from running wild and attacking and/or exploding while also trying to draw them all back together into one being. But the Fragments have a bit of will of their own that latched on to similar sentiments in Ashton and are resisting him. Duna-Ashton is holding the Titan Vessels still for now, but that's not going to last and they still have to finish the absorption process/ritual.

So Bells Hells (who loaded up healing and support spells) has to protect Duna-Ashton from the Titan Vessels for the remainder of the minute (might be most of the minute, might be only a few Rounds) or the Titan Vessels will break free and try to escape the Magic Shield Bubble to go out into the world to instigate the Elemental Chaos that the titans ruled over before. Keeping Duna-Ashton up isn't easy as the Titan Vessels are pretty strong and HP heavy while Duna-Ashton does sort of try to fight and protect Bells Hells too while not being super buff. On the plus side, there's no range on the Will Tethers and there's a chance each Round that Duna-Ashton can Stun one or both of the Titan Vessels (I'm thinking WIS Save for the Vessels or Contested WIS Checks, Disadvantage for the Titan Vessel if Duna-Ashton is focused on only stilling one of them instead of both).

Eventually the absorption ritual ends and out of an immense cloud of steam emerges Ashton's new volcano Demi-titan Form (no rejection this time as there's no one else to really take it anyways). Basically his canon Demi-titan Form except that the jade is darkened and the amethyst turned to citrine as pointed out could happen with all that heat in this cool post, with lava fissures across them and the gold glowing hot. Also maybe bump the height up another foot or two for the colossus of two Titan Fragments.

Nobody can believe that fucking worked. What the hell have they just helped bring into existence?

Anyways, once Allura is reassured that Ashton isn't about to explode again to much more disastrous effect, she brings the Magic Shield Bubble down so Ashton and Bells Hells can go experiment with his new form a bit on the backside of the Ziggurat. (Ashton thinks they could have forced their way out of the bubble if they had to, but that would have been bad and dangerous) Mostly it's playing with Earth Glide and a few really basic fire spells as taught by Professor Fearne Calloway with assistance from TA Laudna. Ashton even pops off an Echo of his new form, which is just as capable of moving through earth as him (he doesn't mention bringing out the Echo felt like he might split into pieces again. He's sure that'll go away with time, right?).

Eventually, the Demi-titan Form ends, reverting Ashton back to his normal form, including coloring, with volcanic replacements for anything that broke off with still glowing lava veins and maybe a few random citrine crystals among the amethyst of their hair, or a citrine streak or undercut could be cool too. And hot sunny day beating down on a rock heat from his skin.`

Exhausted but generally satisfied with the outcome, Bells Hells totters off for bed.

But that night, either the Moonweaver or Nana Morri contacts Fearne and beckons her to return to Ligament Manor to receive the power of her heritage, just as her friend has.

So Fearne brings it up the next morning, setting off a debate of More Power vs Do the Mission. Which ends in her favor because Nana Morri can fuck with time so they don't loose any and might actually gain some (104 years from Fearne's perspective vs 6 years from her parents' perspective. Fearne is 112, Ollie thought she was 14 when reunited, 14-6=8 years with her parents, 112-8= 104 years with Nana), Laudna would like more time to get into her All Minds Burn shit, and Ashton fesses up about their Echo ability feeling unstable while hoping a bit more time will let everything settle right. Also, it's a training opportunity in general. Time to heal, time to focus, time to ponder and think. A moment to fucking breathe that they haven't really had since Bassuras the first time around.

Allura agrees to cart them to and from the Fey Realm (and gather information on an Archfey for the Arcana Pansophical on the side) given time shouldn't be an issue of more than one more day's worth of delay (which isn't great, but hopefully shouldn't be catastrophic).

They arrive, Morri agrees to make the Manor their training/general retreat, and sends Fearne on her way to talk with Birdie.

So hey, Fearne's got the blood of a minor archfey/fey lord in her veins. Plus she was raised by an Archfey. That has to count for something, right? I'm thinking either Fearne gets some fey or Bearer of the Lightless Flame('s kid) type of personal upgrade, or Birdie stole something powerful from Zathuda (besides the Moontide Crown that Ira still has) or Morri has a weapon/tool that Fearne is now ready for that requires some fraction of inherited power/ability from one like Zathuda.

(Honestly, I would have loved for Fearne to get cool fey stuff for her upgrades, really explore that background, and let Ashton keep all the titan stuff that fits into their background in canon. So I'm doing it here)

Nana helps Orym set up some cool (likely quite dangerous because it's Nana Morri) training stuff for Bells Hells. Probably with a focus on stealth and teamwork given the mission ahead of them where they will be sneaking and relying on each other more than ever.

Chetney makes his deal with Morri.

Ashton's shit does settle down in the couple of days Bells Hells takes there (it's only a few hours in Exandria since 104:6=17.3:1). Though there's probably some close calls at first, maybe even an Ashton Vessels rematch. His Echo patterns are slightly different now. There's (Perfect Copy) Volcano Genasi with Swords, (Mirrored Damage) Earth Genasi with Hammer, (No Damage) Fire Genasi with Pistols, and (Same Damage) Hishari Aasimar with Spear/Glaive. And the Demi-titan Form Echoes are Volcano Titan, Earth Titan, Fire Titan, and Lava Titan. Difference between Volcano and Lava is: Volcano is solid rock with lava veins, Lava is all liquid rock and goopy.

Laudna... might have trouble with connecting to All Minds Burn? Cross-dimensional communication can be tricky at the best of times. But if cut off from the hive, she does get to work on cultivating the psychic abilities it grants without a thousand other voices in her head by using her own strain of it.

Not entirely sure if Orym makes his deal here. Paladin is definitely less Just a Guy than Fighter, even if some of his levels are also in Inquisitive Rogue. On the other hand: Baby Dunamantic Volcano Titan, Baby Archfey of Fire, Exaltant Ruidusborn, Undead Member of a Psychic Fungal Hivemind, Old Man Werewolf, and Ancient Murderbot vs Halfling with a Little Faith Magic (Mostly Smite). Though I will say: Insightful Fighting's Sneak Attack without Advantage+Smite would absolutely wreck house. Sneak Attack+Smite on a Crit? Devastating.

So I think any further decision on Orym's deal is going to have to wait until we see what Orym actually got from his canon deal: spells/abilities(warlock level?) or a free Call Nana card (or like, a general immortality for the group).

And of course, there's room for inter-party drama during their break/training montage.

Then it's back to Exandria for the Moon Scouting Mission!

[ritcchamadayo]

This came to mind so

What Twst Characters Would Use as A Weapon (Mafia AU!)

Heartslabyul

Heartslabyul is known for being a strict organization. Every little mistake goes unnoticed, and will be judged by their boss himself.

Riddle Rosehearts

He definitely uses his scepter as a short range weapon, like a polearm would. But, just in case, he'd like to keep a handgun on his hip at all costs so he can fight against longer ranged enemies. Definitely something elegant, a rather old model but definitely shows Riddle's personality.

Ace Trappola

Handguns, definitely handguns. He can even dual-wield, if he wants to. He's not always precise and wastes a lot of bullets, (much to the dismay of Riddle and the Heartslabyul finances) so make sure to pack more spares and get him aim training! He's surely a force to be reckoned with if he hits those shots.

Deuce Spade

Ah, the classic baseball bat with spikes. He nailed the spikes in himself- and it doesn't look as neat as he wanted, but oh well. He'd usually let Ace or someone else take the kill but he won't hesitate to bludgeon someone when needed.

Cater Diamond

Assassins pop up when you least expect 'em, honey. He'd be all over you on parties and celebrations, giving you gifts and calling you nicknames- until you find his signature jewel-embedded, poison laced folded knife ledged between your chest. Cay-cay's here to slay-slay, and i mean literally!

Trey Clover

Definitely the mom- i mean supervisor of the gang. He'd usually watch from the back lines, and then use his medium-range sniper rifle to snipe off some heads with precision when you least expect it. Don't underestimate him though, he's still got you beat on hand-to-hand combat when needed!

Savanaclaw

An unruly bunch, to say the least. Chaos always follows behind their footsteps, as their leader, the Great King of Lions, executes high-risk high-reward bounties perfectly.

Leona Kingscholar

Who needs weapons? Only herbivores. Leona would face guns with his own bare hands, pouncing forward with the speed and agility of a Lion and knocking his enemies out of balance, swiftly destroying their gun *and* their skulls. Out of all the gang leaders, he's the least likely to die assassinated because of his instincts and reflexes.

Ruggie Bucchi

Watch out, cuz this guy's got a machine gun! Despite his scrawny stature, he's strong enough to hold down an area by making it rain bullets, effectively cleaning the way for Leona to pass through. Although, he'd never use it unless he knows there are no civilians in his line of fire. Shishishi, It's always better to get your boss through clean and unscathed, cuz blood on laundry is god awful!!!

Jack Howl

He owns a pair of silver brass knuckles! His speed and agility almost matches those of Leona himself, and Jack prides himself in his pack. He'd go on bounties with a big group, and if they ever get into a gang fight with the other gangs, he'll be sure to run to your rescue if you're getting beaten up!

Octavinelle

The mafia group behind the infamous Mostro Lounge industry. They affiliate themselves with blackmail and infiltration, and most of the time for monetary gain. They're led by a capitalist, after all.

Azul Ashengrotto

Does he fight? Sometimes, maybe. But he's usually breaking out deals with other companies and families while his two bodyguards stand behind him, ready to strike whenever. So, i guess his weapon of choice are Jade and Floyd? But he'd land the killing blow using the sharp edge of his scepter, a clean shot to the heart and blood staining the octopus ornament on the scepter. You better accept his business proposition, unless you wanna end up dead!

Jade Leech

This particular Leech twin doesn't like to get his suit dirty. He'd be manning the long-range sniper rifles and precisely taking out enemies quick and silent enough to not out himself. He's the one to go on most infiltration missions for Azul, so he also has high precision on using a handgun with a silencer. Don't cross this one, cuz you're going down and nobody's gonna know.

Floyd Leech

The full opposite of Jade, Floyd would rather crack someone's skull open instead and bathe in their blood. Floyd leads the more violent missions, and also in charge of torture. He has a pair of brass knuckles with elegant eel engravings given to him by Azul and Jade, and he loves them! But sometimes, his *real* knuckles are enough to break someone. Or would you rather he use his teeth instead and chomp off your flesh?

Scarabia

Possibly the richest gang around. Their leader, Kalim Al-Asim, acts as their front face in public scenarios while his right-hand man, Jamil Viper, does all the dirty work and cleaning behind everyone's backs.

Kalim Al-Asim

Knowing Kalim, he's probably forgotten to bring a weapon. It would be hard to imagine a name as big as Kalim's to not gather attention though, and there would be a lot of assassination attempts. Luckily for him, Jamil always hides a nifty shotgun for him if he ever gets cornered. Just one quick aim to the head, and boom- But this rarely happens, because Jamil's here to intercept before they could even see Kalim!

Jamil Viper

Jamil, Jamil, Jamil. Part bodyguard, part housewife /what. He's always looking out for the gang! But underneath all that, he's a crafty assassin out for your blood. He knows every single way to take someone out, be it using firearms, poison, sharp objects, or even his own fists. Though, his weapon of choice is a revolver! It's only thanks to Jamil that Kalim gets to live without a care, and Kalim loves Jamil like his own family.

Pomefiore

You wouldn't think there'd be elegance in the art of murder. Think again, with Vil Schoenheit now on the case! Pomefiore specializes in providing any type of poisons and drugs to whoever dares to strike a deal with them.

Vil Schoenheit

Don't be fooled by his intoxicating beauty, darling. Because most likely, the sweet scent of his perfume is also toxic! Vil has grown quite the resistance towards poison, and he always knows which one to use for which types of occassion. You better believe when i say each crime scene left by The Queen, always looks as beautiful as he is in his craft.

Rook Hunt

Vil Schoenheit's personal bodyguard. You don't see him beside the great Vil all the time, but rest assured, he's lying in wait with his bow and arrow aimed to your head. One misstep, and it'll cost you your life. Even a slight graze from the arrow would kill you, as a hunter never forgets to lace their arrows with the finest poisons and anesthesias. He was part of the Savanaclaw gang once, but after a scuffle between the two leaders, Rook decided to join Pomefiore in pursue of beauty and elegance.

Epel Felmier

Definitely not the most elegant one in the group, but 200% deadly. He prefers the head-on way of charging into battle with a bat or a metal pipe, but Vil taught him how to make use of his looks and kill more cleanly. Act like a maiden in need of assistance, infiltrate their defenses. And when you least expect it, a shotgun to the back will be your end. He still comes home all drenched in blood though, in Vil's dismay.

Ignihyde

The main gang for technological advances and info-broking. In addition to their human forces and the ever-adept technology team, they also have the forces of a couple dozen war robots if you ever cross their way!

Idia Shroud

Fighting? No no no, no way. Some shut-in like that wouldn't have the physical capabilities to go on front line fights. Instead he leads his gang to technological advances and innovations, most of the time making and rigging his own set of firearms from the confines of his room. But if anyone ever tries to assassinate the leader of Ignihyde gang, if they aren't killed by the security system, Idia himself will finish you off with his signature electric gun. Get ready to be fried to a crisp!

Ortho Shroud

Despite still being young, Ortho replaces his brother on the front lines and spreads his words to the gang. A being of technology himself, he's rigged to the brim with ground leveling firearms and first aid tech to help the team out. Just give him 10 seconds- his firing beam will level cities in a blink of an eye. But Ortho isn't allowed to use the beam without Idia's direct order, and Idia doesn't want any trouble with any other gangs, so shooting smaller beams with his fingers would work better.

Diasomnia

A well-feared gang. Diasomnia holds power to higher-grade firearms because of their leader, Malleus Draconia, and his royal upbringing. Diasomnia has privileges to firearms harder to procure, and typically just looks like royal guards instead of a gang.

Malleus Draconia

Malleus rarely gets into fights due to his position. Most of the time, Diasomnia's forces will be hard at work while he strategizes from atop his throne. But if he's forced to fight for his life, he would pick up his antique handgun. The wood carving simply bleeds elegance, and you should be thankful if your last sight was The Malleus Draconia pointing his gun at you while he towers above your beat-up body. Goodbye, Child of Man. This should teach you to never cross Diasomnia.

Lilia Vanrouge

Right hand man to Malleus himself, but he prides his work on assassination more than being on the front lines. His signature weapon is a cleaver, and you'd know it's the work of one Lilia Vanrouge when the victim have multiple slash wounds all over their body. He's been around in Diasomnia for so long, everyone suspects he's older than he looks- even his skills and experience way surpasses the rest!

Sebek Zigvolt

One of Malleus's bodyguards. He traditionally has an AR at hand just like Silver, but he uses a Revolver when the AR isn't in use. Typically you'd choose small, unnoticeable guns as Mafia to not get caught, but Sebek shows his domination over his enemies with his choice of firearms. He'd usually go for the attack, while Silver defends.

Silver

One of Malleus's bodyguards. He traditionally has an AR at hand just like Sebek, but he also uses a baton as a weapon of choice. He'd usually go for the defense, and leaves Sebek to attack and get rid of enemies. Silver specializes in defending and protecting, so if you're ever in trouble, Silver will make sure you live to see the next sunrise!

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Hey there! I'm sorry to bug you (you can totally delete this!), but I have a question I've been wanting to ask someone and you have been so kind, patient, compassionate, and level-headed that I thought you'd be a good person to approach.

So I've seen a lot of this in the ofmd tags:

Do you know if there's a shred of evidence to support this? For all that I see it, the only proof anyone provides is the "Taika fired Guz Khan for being pro-Palestine rumor" (which we know is not true) and the fact that Taika signed the letter to Biden.

And, like... I know that it's a shit letter full of the kind of pro-Israel propaganda that's all over mainstream news and that the celebrities who signed it are probably ignorant and out of touch. But it also calls for the freeing of all hostages and freedom for both Israelis and Palestinians, so I understand why someone who isn't paying adequate attention would think it's a good and worthwhile letter? So... I don't fully understand how signing it would make a person a "vocal ZIonist" who's out there "advocating for the genocide of Palestinians."

idk, I'm afraid I've missed something, but I don't think that any of the folks who are telling us to kill ourselves will be particularly kind if I ask them where they're coming from. If you have any idea what's up, I'd appreciate information!

Thank you so much for putting together the daily recaps (super helpful for those of us who are afraid of xwitter) and for being great!

Hi friend! Thanks for reaching out! I wish I knew more about this particular subject, so I'll do my best to provide some context but please take it with a grain of salt because it's all based on my own looking it up, not by first hand knowledge of anything.

The first thing I will say is, I'm so sorry they are telling you or anyone to kill yourselves, that's going way too far. Those people are struggling and angry and they're using any outlet to push their pain onto other people and that's not acceptable. No one on tumblr is out murdering Palestinians because they like a tv show. That is trauma and pain talking and they really need to seek actual therapeutic help instead of taking it out on others. You don't deserve to be treated like that, so if you can, please don't internalize that because you absolutely don't deserve that to be said to you.

That being said, what information I've looked up on it (by searching the web and listening to people on tumblr), the only thing I see people citing is the letter from October which I agree, while not worded well and certainly missing the main point of the conflict, I don't think indicates anyone on that list is advocating for the genocide of Palestinians.

In some tags I read a while ago...on a previous ask, I did see someone mention that there was a podcast out there too where Taika said something about the situation, that they didn't personally care for, but I haven't found that podcast (if someone happens to know what it is please let me know?) I'll see if I can track down the person who mentioned it in the tags. Another thing that apparently people are using as ammo is Guz Khan (Ivan) being fired from Season 2 (because he was in support of Palestine). Which is confusing because any official channels i'm seeing don't say that... and even that Guz Khan said he didn't know why in this article. Everything else I've seen is speculation on reddit or twitter with no sources...so unless someone can maybe provide some reasonable sources, my guess is it's all speculation being fueled by horror and rage at the current genocide and a mob mentality. I've certainly not heard of anyone else in the cast being supportive of genocide in palestine (cause who is?) and you're right "vocally zionist" is a very strange term because he in fact has not been vocal about that. He's been vocal about being maori and jewish, but I haven't found anything anywhere that's said he specifically stated he was "zionist" or "supporting zionist" ideals (I keep putting quotes around zionist because I don't like people throwing it around like a word for terrorist because that gets dangerous real fast as I've mentioned in some previous asks). I certainly have never seen him advocate for genocide in Palestine. I think people tend to get confused with correlation and causation when they're angry.

(Ex: If Taika signed a letter asking for hostages to be freed from hamas that had poor wording saying that hamas was leading a violent campaign, then anything that happened after.. to hamas or the palestinian people must obviously mean that Taika wants to support genocide.)

But that's not the same thing.

Just because Taika signed a letter in October, when information regarding the situation in Palestine wasn't as well followed, saying he wanted hostages released, and condemning the actions of Hamas, doesn't mean he wants Palestinians killed. It means he wanted the hostages released and the conflict to stop, something the article says "We all want the same thing: Freedom for Israelis and Palestinians to live side by side in peace".

Those situations aren't the same thing, but when people are angry (and they have every right to be when so many people are being murdered) they don't think like that, they think "Oh he signed a letter, and then the genocide got worse, so obviously thats what he wants" which isn't necessarily the case.

Now, do I know Taika? No. Do I know his family and his views? No I do not. So unless he flat out comes out and says something, or does ANOTHER crazy thing now that everyone knows there's a genocide going on, I'm not going to claim he is an extremist and I'm going to keep liking my pirate show.

Now if he turns around and goes full JK Rowling on Trans people and starts calling himself a Zionist and saying things that actually directly support genocide or some crazy shit like that, then yes, I will change my mind.

I hope that helps a bit at least explain where I've seen some of it come from? If other people know more, please feel free to speak up, I just, I've been avoiding the situation a lot because the more I look at it, the more it looks like a witch hunt because someone made a bad decision and no matter what good they do, it doesn't matter going forward. Again, I'm not directly involved so this is all speculation.

Oh yay! Im glad you like the recaps! Thanks for letting me know! I know a lot of folks on Tumblr aren't big fans of X/Twitter so it's nice to have a safer place to check things out that have happened throughout the day.

I do want to end however with-- I'm so sorry again they are saying those horrible things in the tags. No one deserves that to be put on them, you're awesome, and the fact that you want to learn more shows that you aren't just going along with the flow of the media and you're trying to better understand. Those are good qualities. Don't forget that! Much love <3

[the-white-soul]

Flowey: You don't care about your own kid! Toriel did! I did! If anyone is listening right now, that should make sense. I bet a blind person could make the most rational decision here if that means they can't tell who's human or monster.

You're calling them dumb them nonstop, saying and acting like you don't even care, degrading monsterkind which had the only people who actually showed them love. What kind of a living being are you? Is everyone insane here?! I showed you proof and yet you still think we were bad to them! Why would they trust us so much when they ran away from you, their "family," to kill themselves, only to fail and kill themselves again for our sake!

*He's providing so much good reasoning, but this woman remains full of so much hate and ignorance. What's the point in trying to be nice if this is what he'll get? Almost no one else is even trying to speak up (Thanks, John) which gives thim the impression either no one cares and they're all with Chara's mom, or they're too scared to say anything. Either way, that means there's no reason for him to not lash out.*

What the fuck did you do to Chara?!

*Vines suddenly grab and whip the crazy mother, and even worse than the way the police beat Toriel, Flowey begins to snap bones and slash deep cuts without a moment of rest. He wraps a vine around her head, adding increasing pressure until it would explode like a watermelon. The whole time he forms a tall, thorny circle around them that would push away anyone who got close, preventing anyone from interfering and shielding the eyes of children and cameras. Once she is killed, he drags the body under the dirt and lets down the makeshift barrier. He looks angry and slightly teary-eyed. He mutters to himself.* ... I bet Chara felt way more pain than that.

All the others flee far, knowing what they're up against. (Kara) "Wow, that was fantastic." Papyrus had his mouth wide open. (Dess) "Why didn't you tell me about his power? Yeah, I know they stopped Clover, but an entire field of people. Speaking of fields, I should tell you something important. The Flowey in this world isn't Asriel. I don't know who it is. No one besides Frisk does." (Kara) "Well, let's meet this Flowey. John, you're coming too." (John) "Well, I guess the humans would kill me in an instant. I'll go." We all started 'walking'(Flowey just digs) to their home. (Kara) "Hey, speaking of which, what did make you want to be a good person.' (John) "I was one of Chara's classmates and… There was a brief pause as John looked to Flowey I'm not going to say what happened unless Flowey wants to know. Long story short, it made some of us very angry. Thank god she's dead now." Flowey popped out of the ground (Flowey) "Hi everyone." (Kara) "Um, hi. Why do you…" (Dess) "KARA GET DOWN!!!" A barrage of bullets comes Kara's way, which they dodge. (Flowey) "What's wrong? You must've learned already. I see you have a little flower friend yourself. Hi Buttercup, you have a fire inside you. I'm glad at least that never changed. So cat's out of the bag, I'm not just Flowey." (Kara) "Well, what's your name?" (Flowey) "I've been called many things in my day, a demon to some, a savior to others, but to you, buttercup Shows heart locket I'm your best friend forever!!!" (Kara) "Chara." (Chara Flowey) "Yep, that's me." (Kara) "This is great. I can bring you to the humans. I'll have…" (Chara Flowey) "You think they would care? You and I both saw what happened back there. Plus, it's funny." (Dess) "FUNNY?!" (Chara Flowey) "You don't realize how hilarious this is? People are as blind as a bat. I can't believe it sometimes. Humanity always surprises me." (Kara) "I know, but it's worth trying to see if humans agree." (Chara Flowey) "Started laughing in everyone's faces. You're being serious? Your pain is the most fun I've had in a while. Why would I give it up?" (Kara) "You are one of the worst Floweys I've ever met." (Chara Flowey) "I want to watch the world burn. =)."

[utilitycaster]

Could you explain further why preemptive healing is a good strategy/better than healing word whack-a-mole? And would the strategy work the same for other classes if they are the main healer, like druids or bards?

So glad you asked!

Consider the following scenario. You are the cleric in a four person 5th level party of the most classic Core Four makeup (fighter, wizard, cleric, rogue). You are well into combat and have not done any healing so far. Everyone's taken some serious hits and is at pretty low health, including the monster, who has a 2-attack multiattack. You did, however, all roll low on initiative, so the monster goes first, then the rogue, fighter, cleric (you), and wizard last. It's your turn. The rogue has 9 HP left. the fighter has 12 HP left. You have 20 HP left and are about 50 feet from the rogue and fighter, both in melee with the monster. The wizard has 7 HP left and is another 50 feet away from you (ie, 100 feet from the monster). And, unbeknownst to you, the monster has 50 HP left.

Preemptive healing: You cast toll the dead on the monster. It makes its save. You also cast mass healing word and heal everyone for 7 HP.

The wizard casts scorching ray and two beams hit for 14 damage. [wizard at 14 HP, monster at 36]

The monster attacks the rogue and fighter on its turn, hitting both and dealing 12 to the rogue and 13 to the fighter. They are both still up at 4 HP and 6 HP respectively

The rogue then attacks and hits for 20 damage. [rogue at 4 HP, monster at 21]. The fighter attacks and hits for 12 damage on the first hit and 10 on the second. The monster is dead; congratulations.

Whack-a-mole strategy: You cast guiding bolt on the monster and deal 13 damage. That is the end of your turn. [monster at 37 HP]

The wizard casts scorching ray for 14 damage again. [wizard at 7 HP, monster at 23 HP].

The monster attacks the rogue and fighter on its turn, dealing 12 to the rogue and 13 to the fighter. They both go down.

You cast toll the dead on the monster. It fails its save. It takes 7 damage and remains up. You cast mass healing word and heal everyone for 7 HP. [monster at 16 HP].

The wizard is running low on spells and casts fire bolt. It hits for 10 damage.

The monster attacks and hits the prone rogue and fighter again. They both go down. It's your turn. If you use mass healing word again, then you don't have a 3rd level for Revivify. Do you heal the rogue? If the DM isn't having the monster attack people who are down, then this could mean the monster attacks the rogue twice, downs them before their turn, and then the fighter makes a death save. On the other hand, if the monster IS attacking people who are down, then the fighter might die. Similar things may happen if you pick the fighter to heal. Do you try to attack with something better than a cantrip? You don't know that the monster only has 6 HP, and you could miss. Unless you're a grave cleric, you need to get into melee with the monster to cast spare the dying.

Now, I could continue, but this will get boring, and unless you're really fucked with the dice eventually you or the wizard will probably kill the monster, but note that you had better luck in the second example (your cantrip worked this time!) and got off a more powerful damage spell to boot and GUESS WHAT, you're still in combat with two people down over a round later instead of out of combat with everyone up, and you've used more spell slots, and a nat 1 death save could mean one of the two unconscious people dies. And I set this up in such a way that you and the wizard are relatively safe, with a melee monster that's not very smart and staying in place. What if that were a bandit with a ranged weapon? What if there was a second very low-level monster with only one attack who could take down the wizard? This is unlikely to go full death spiral; but a single fairly minor complication or a few really unlucky rolls could shift it that way.

If someone gets knocked out and they're before the healer in initiative, you lose their turn and whatever damage they would have done. That's actually the crux of it. It's a loss of damage, and it's a risk as well, and while clerics can do a decent amount of damage that's not really what they're typically built to do. It's much better, as a support caster, to focus on keeping your martial and DPS casters consistently up so that they can do what they do best, namely, attack. If you top someone up such that they don't go unconscious, you used exactly as many spells as you would if you waited until they did go unconscious, but now, they don't miss a turn. Is it really worth you doing that 14 guiding bolt damage when your fighter gets 1d10+4 damage and two attacks per turn?

And yes - this works for anyone who's playing a primary healer. It is better to keep people up in the first place than wait for them to go down.

If I may: I played the main healer, kind of by accident (cleric player left after like 3 sessions, leaving me, a bard, as the only full caster at all; we did have a paladin for backup but he was also our heaviest hitter and paladins don't get ranged healing). I didn't look up strategies, I just kind of learned by doing, and the whack-a-mole strategy never occurred to me. I was stunned to learn that people use it, because it is not remotely intuitive. Honestly, as someone who does not play video games at all, the reason I was initially drawn to healers was because I was like "I do not trust you motherfuckers to heal so I'm going to do it" and the fact that whack-a-mole is popular indicates that I was right.

[plantcrazy]

Lost Children Progress Update 17/4/24

It's been a little while since I did one of these. I've been giving small updates here and there, but a big one once in a while is nice, and I enjoy sharing my progress. It's sort of motivating. You know? To look and see, 'Oh wow, I did a lot' or 'wow, I didn't accomplish a lot, but I'm proud of what I did do!' (Some chapters take their time to come together, other the ideas just flow on to the paper).

ANYWAY! You don't care about this. You want to know how long till the next chapter comes out, right????

So, will start with the elephant in the room: Ch.19. It's only 8 pages, which is why, despite the first 3 technically done (anything at 90% is just to digitalise & add text), I haven't uploaded anything.

It's about done. I'm just stuck on page 5 (and two panels of page 4). They're a flashback. A god-damned nightmare of a flashback to draw and... I don't want to do it TT , but for effect and impact, the story needs it >>

Otherwise:

(That should be 20/22 chapters done :P )

Part 1 is coming together swimmingly! With the recent addition of 2 new chapters and, I think, this is as big as part 1 will be getting. I'm finishing off tidying up how I want Part 1 to end at the minute, and then we'll have a small time skip to part 2.

(And maaaaaaybe I'll go back to the start and add an intro chapter to give more info on what the heck happened in the Triple Threat Ending to make Henry think screwing up the timelines and making a new one was a great idea. IDK. Still on the hedge about where to put this info)

Also! The poll I'm running looks like everything in one fic will win, for how it gets uploaded on A03. In two days time once the poll is finished I'll work on implementing those changes (, unless the poll swings back the other way again :P ).

Part 2:

The order of the first 9 chapters, take with a grain of salt. I'm still finalizing the order.

For the most part it's just detailed ideas of what I want to happen in each part + 4 chapters finished, 2 being edited.

'Standing on the Ledge' came out FANTASTIC. I cannot wait to upload that one. Personal favourite of the part so far. 2nd place going to 'Stuck With You'.

And what is that at the bottom? A familiar chapter name! Yes! We're getting back to the Wall. Slowly but surly our characters will be reunited with their frozen prisons, well-

Those who I haven't/ don't kill off~

*eViL lAuGhInG! >:D*

jk.

Or am I?

Anyway,

Part 3:

Part 3 is mostly a butt-ton of editing. It looks like most of the new chapters will land in part 2 (asides from 4), so part 3 will be similar to the original version, but not, given all the minor changes you're about to witness snowball into avalanche sized consequences!

^^;

Anyway, I've edited 4 so far dated them since it's going to be a while till we get to Part 3. That being said, given it's 85%ish editing, it should hopefully just be rapid fire chapter uploading when we do get there :)

I think that's about all I've got to say?

Er... you guys should be aware by now of the 'I'm in uni, chapters are as I have time/wrist able' disclaimer. So...

OH! Also, this is all going up on A03 (once the poll is done), so I can keep the readers over there who don't follow this Tumblr up-to-date with what's going on. So when you see a new chapter update in your inbox, don't get too excited ^^;

And finally, for you.

My dear read.

Who has read through my long waffle and sporadic episodes of evil laughter and fun!

I have an... 'opportunity'

*Snots* I sound like a Mafia boss with Liam Neelson's voice reading this allowed.

I left my colour coding in Part 2 (as I couldn't be bothered to remove it ^^; ), so... will have some fun with this.

Whoever can figure out who's POV are colours blue or green will get a free half or full body drawing of one character (SFW), of their choice (mine, oc, stickmin or another fandom (at my discretion)).

And we'll say... 2 guesses a person (either two on one colour, or one guess for each colour) to make it fair. (It shouldn't be too hard, there's only 12 POV's, and you've met them all but one coming in at Part 3.

OH!

And there will be three winners in total.

Good luck :)

(btw, I'm going to bed now, so first people with the right answers are the winners in case you all rush in here with your answers over the next... 10 ish hours...

Unless... you're the only person to read this far >> )

[aura-bug]

What is your favorite yokai(Both from Yo-kai Watch and real mythology) ?

YIPPEE TIME TO RANT

My favorite yokai from YKW are Unfairy, Wobblewok, and Arachnia, and they all have one thing in common: gremlin behavior

unfairy is a stupid little rat thing that took down two war generals and then got defeated by a hose. wobblewok is a fucking Thang sealed inside a giant kamameshi rice cooker who lurks the deepest pits of hell and has killed hundreds. and arachnia is arachnia

as for my favorite MYTHOLOGICAL yokai, it'd probably be any of the creechers originating from buddhist lore. tbh that hardly narrows it down but I'm specifically talking about dragons/any of the 8 legions, since a majority of my OCs revolve around those yokai in particular and I think theyre really cool aaaaaaaaa.

the 8 legions (hachibushuu) are a group of 8 different celestial species that reside in the Buddhist version of heaven (<- using that term VERYYYYY loosely, also technically one of the legions don't live in Tendo, they got kicked out, it was a whole thing). They're super cool and powerful and they serve Buddhas/Bodhisattvas and whateva.

The 8 legions are made up of the Ten/Devas (buddhist equivalent of angels but not really), the Ryu/Nagas (dragons), the Karura/Garuda (bird people that eat dragons), the Magorakas (half-snake people), the Kinnara (half-bird musicians), the Yasha (heavenly warrior demon guys), the Kendatsuba (artistic spirits that eat scents), and the Ashura (scary demigod guys that are angry and violent and aren't allowed in Tendo anymore boohoo).

The 8 legions are actually Hindu in origin, but then the Buddha told them all to join his cool kids club (buddhism) and then they did

I could talk at length abt each of these guys but then this would be like 500 paragraphs longer than it already is. so I wont but I WILL do so if prompted

If we're talking about yokai that are SPECIFICALLY japanese in origin, there's a lot of ones that are extremely silly that I love a lot so I'll list them off rapid fire

-ghost that tells you to kill yourself (itsuki)

-rat that fucking explodes (kodama nezuki)

-water behemoth (umi bozu)

-eyeball ass jumpscare (shirime)

-literally any of the women (all the yokai ending in "onna")

-big spider (tsuchigumo)

-tamamo no mae (tamamo no mae)

-any of the several ridiculous prophet yokai that appear once and tell you your crops are gonna die unless you like their image and share it with the rest of the village. it was like the origin of those superstitious chain emails (this includes yokai like Amabiko, Arie, Kudan, Jinja Hime, etc etc, but my personal favorite is Amabie, SIMPLY because it originated from a misspelling)

-any chimera yokai (kotobuki, nue, baku, rokugyo, etc. I just think theyre neat)

but my FAVORITE yokai of ALL TIME

IS THIS THING. NANJAKA.

ITS NAME LITERALLY MEANS "WHAT"

IT ORIGINATES FROM THE BAKEMONO TSUKUSHI EMAKI (1820) AND IT HAS NO DESCRIPTION. NO STORY. NO EXPLANATION. NOTHING. IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN UPPER HALF. THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY TO EVEN GUESS WHAT THE ARTIST WAS THINKING WHEN MAKING THIS GUY. I DON'T EVEN THINK THE AUTHOR THEMSELVES KNEW WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE DOING BECAUSE ITS NAME IS JUST "WHAT." ITS LIKE THE AUTHOR WOKE UP AFTER BEING BLACKOUT DRUNK, SAW THIS DRAWING, AND WAS LIKE "ok what the fuck is this"

I ADORE IT. PEAK YOKAI WEIRDNESS AT ITS FINEST

[alchemistdetective]

-- Amber Gibberish Notes, to be formatted someday (tm)--

Battle Strategy Guide against Amber's characters:

Chloe Netherhorn:

When alone, tends to mostly throw bombs and attacks with her hatchet up close

With party, she mostly becomes support duty, buffing her allies and throwing acid puddles and bombs to enemy field, limiting their movement

Nearly hopeless against Gensokyo flight or open areas due to flight

EXTREMELY potent on indoor areas like caves

Not very experienced in battle, she's more of a 'find distraction and flee' kind of person

No spell cards nor danmaku knowledge, so youkai usually can have her way with her, so she usually does the escape option

Any battle techniques she got from Eri? He definitely gave her a few tips on surviving

Smoke bomb for escape maybe?

Key to beating her is catching her split from the party, she's really easy to beat alone unless you happened to be taken by surprise by one of her bombs

Her bombs cover a LARGE area but they take a while to light and throw

Crescent:

Fairy but does not like dying

Always flying, quite fast, always using her guns to shoot from afar

Not as fast as Tengu, a bit slower than Marisa

Reimu speed? Definitely not as fast as Tengu

Not very good at close range, always tries to find a way out

in fighting game context this is like her spamming ranged attacks at the corner and then does a knockback if you get too close

Opposite of Chloe, amazing in open fields, struggles hard in caves or small areas

Physical strength is lower than human so hard to break free if someone grapples her

Able to set flame mines on the field, controls area in the sky on where enemy can fly

Uses fairy charm against first time fighters, make people drop their guard before she go pew pew

Talks about killing but doesn't really kill, alot of threats though, Helia always makes fun of her for this

Beating her would be to limit the area where she can fly, and trap her until she gives up

You do not want to KILL her, you want to TRAP her. Killing her will just trigger her respawn, making you fight her again from 'full health'

Anna:

bitch

Her partner's gone so her battle techniques kind of have to adapt as well

Contrary to behavior, she's more of the defensive style than offensive

Quite quick as you expect from a kasha. Doesn't hit hard but able to dodge very well

Counter style, provokes enemy, then strikes a counter back at them (Something like Fragarach from Fate, Bazette)

parry parry parry parry

Fights with fists and black magic, mostly a medium-ranged fighter

I guess you can call her a dodge-counter type of fighter, where you parry at the right time then she strikes your weak points

The more frustrated you get with her, the more she excels in using that against you, returning your strength two-fold

Tends to look down at her opponents somewhat if they're from Gensokyo, with the exception of a few people (Yukari, Ran, Reimu, etc.)

Key to beating her is ignore her provokations and fight steadily and slowly, make her come to you instead of you coming to her

Modern Eri/Fuyuki:

die lol

no really what do you think he's going to do

sing???

TELLETUBBIESSSS

TINKY WINKYYYYY

DIPSYYYYY

LAALAAAAA

POOOOOO

DORAEMON DISPENSE THE HOPTERS

Rirune:

why is this boy so complicated

amber how are you even going to explain him to people so they'll even understand instead of 'lost in gnesokyo with sword'

look just try to simplify it so it's clear and people would understand I guess ljsahgjl

uhh

in teams, he's in support role, using Mayune as cover fire or Hakune as a shield for people to get in

He switches between Hakune and Mayune during battle, Hakune is great for close range, Mayune is long ranged

No he can't change the battlefield around him in the middle of battle, he's only three-tailed kitsune, so please stick with making illusion people

Rirune usually hangs back and his illusions cover him, he may or may not be casting spells like fire/blizzard/thunder

To beat him, 'break' his illusions, he'll be open by then and he has to recover his magic back, and he'll be no different from a BLM with no MP and he has to sing kumbaya until his magic comes back

Rirune even tries to protect his illusions by standing in the way, he doesn't like seeing Mayune or Hakune injured, stupid boy

in the jungle the mighty jungle the lioonn sleeps tonighttt

Physical attacks won't work, it has to be magic because... illusions weaved from magic

seriously how is anyone even going to remember all this

Rirune Shapeshifting Mode:

HAHAHAHAHAHA BUT WAIT THERE'S MOREEEE

Can shapeshift but I don't think he'll do that if it's a friendly spar, turning into their loved ones (Like Eri turning to Alice before Ran's Reimu is a BIG no)

Maybe if he wants to do a mirror match like Sakuya vs Sakuya???

When shapeshifted, he uses his illusions to make people think like he's using their abilities when it's all just an illusion to make them think he's using them

If he turns into Alice, he'll make it look like he's summoning her dolls, and even carpet bombing the area, but they're not really 'real' explosions but 'magic' explosions instead

I guess it's great because danmaku is not supposed to fatally wound anyway and he comes from Gensokyo

... actually he's really good in impersonating others in battle but it's use is so limited though

He'll definitely be able to battle '''perfectly''' as Yukari, Seiga, Alice, Orin and Satori

When I say 'perfectly', it'll look as if he can perfectly fight 'as' them in battle, compared to say, Flandre with her boom powers and Sakuya with time stop

I guess he can pretend he's Sakuya with replicating throwing a thousand knives but timestop is definitely no

Does he act OOC when trying to taunt his enemy in 'mirror matches'? For example, doing a sexy pose as Alice with a wink and stuff to make her attack him?

holy crap please talk plainly

[marcusrobertobaq]

I kinda like the idea of Markus being antagonistic (from the human propaganda pov) cuz ain't unrealistic. The media coverage calls Markus a ringleader and the Android Rebellion a terrorist attack until the end of the game and i'd say the Rebellion can fit this characteristic depending on the choices u make - i ain't talking about justifications, i'm talking about actions in a world where androids are tools and people hate 'em. They gonna see a uprising like this as something really bad unless u keep your head down and fit humans comfort zones.

But in reality Markus is fighting for androids freedom of having the choice of not obeying humans, 'em own person and have a voice. This act itself is considered a threat in the world, not only cuz they're androids (machines made to clean your floor) but cuz this game got a shitty US segregation/BLM ref with Markus being literally inspired in MLK.

So if throw your master's iron grip back at 'em everybody gonna treat ya like a threat, a terrorist for defending yourself - cuz androids ain't supposed to defend themselves. U gonna be showing how humans actually are and how androids and humans are similar when facing humiliation: the "violent" path is the most "become human" route Markus can go cuz that's exactly what happen across the world.

Nobody gonna make a demonstration after having your family killed and your friends unfairly in jail, they'll take up arms and fight against 'em opressors and set things on fire to make the message clear. And if there's one thing humans hate in this game is facing 'em own hypocrisy.

U thought 60 vs 5X was the best "facing your demon" shit in the game? Nah, humans face 'em own demons if u act like 'em in Markus story cuz everybody knows humans would act the same way as Markus, we see that in the first chapter. The guys "roughing androids up" would def set CyberLife stores on fire, explode things on the streets, take TV broadcast people as hostages to send a message, and even better: they would march with 'em guns middle of the day.

But, well, i guess androids ain't got the constitutional right of protesting 🤣

[superbattrash]

Hi there stranger I've never spoken to once in my life, ever 😉 Would you consider (only if/when you are up to it, no stress love 💕) writing a blurblet for me? You know I like my Superbat like I like my pancakes, light and fluffy. So, here goes: maybe Bruce doesn't go to a barber. Maybe, pre-relationship, he goes to Clark Kent and has him cut his hair for him. Obviously since Bruce doesn't know how to and isn't versed in that kind of thing, and not because he just wants an excuse to spend time with him. It's not like he could afford a hair stylist, right? A few requests: Bruce's hair being a right disaster when it's long and Clark being endeared, Bruce really enjoying the feeling of having Clark wash his hair and tend to him, and Bruce glowing when Clark tells him how handsome he looks when they're done. Maybe with a confession at the end, if you're feeling generous. 🙏

Love for the Mish, praise for the Mish, endearment for the Mish!!

Hello unknown person, who I don’t know at all and am therefore obviously not very much in love with uwu <3

I, uh. Well, you know how I get. I got lost in an idea and nearly forgot all about your actual prompt, sorry. Did I make Bruce a tad too obsessive? Probably. Am I projecting because I really like doing people’s hair? Most likely.

[sweats] this got so long, I am so sorry

It’s been a miserable mission. They won, of course they won, they followed Bruce’s plan after all. But they’re all bruised and some more than others. Bruce feels like he might’ve bent another rib but if he moves around slow enough, none of the others notice. Unless Clark takes a second look at him. Even without his stupid x-ray vision Clark somehow always knows when Bruce has broken or injured something.

His slow moving is the only reason he’s still in the hall when Diana asks Clark for his help. Bruce isn’t supposed to hear them, isn’t supposed to be there, but it’s not like it’s a secret. If Clark and Diana wanted to keep anything a secret or even remotely private, they would’ve gone to one of the bedrooms tugged away at the far end of the Watchtower. Instead, here they are – standing front to back as Clark… brushes Diana’s hair?

It’s gotten cut during the battle. No, not cut. The ends have caught on fire and – Bruce winches at the singed strands – her hair is all matted and the smell is horrible. Even from a distance Bruce has a hard time schooling his features into that of indifference. He has a newfound respect for Clark; he’s not making any faces and he’s got super senses. There’s no way he is not being choked by the smell.

Bruce doesn’t mean to hide in the shadows. He knows Clark must sense his presence – even Diana must know that he’s there. He isn’t hiding, he’s just… not announcing his presence either. He’s well on his way towards the door when they start talking and he can’t help but be curious at their conversation. He stops and listens; makes the silent excuse that he’s hurt and taking a small break before finding his way home isn’t odd. Even if listening in on others’ conversations may be.

“I’m sorry, Di,” Clark says, and he really does look sorry. He always does; carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, that fool. There’s no reason to look so sad over two inches of scorched hair, when it’s not even Clark who’s burnt it. “I can’t save all of it.”

“It is just hair, Kal,” Diana tells him, but Bruce can tell that she’s upset. Not enough to show it much outwardly but he knows Diana. Her hands are balled into fists and she’s standing very straight. Rigid. Like a proper warrior. If Bruce has to guess (it’s not really a guess), he’d say it isn’t so much about the hair as the fact that a civilian got burnt in the process as well.

Nobody was killed, which is what Diana should be focusing on, but if anyone understands how she feels, it’s Bruce. Just because there weren’t any casualties doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have avoided people getting hurt. They can always do better.

“I’ll do my best, alright?” Clark says with one of his signature smiles. Bruce’s teeth hurt just looking at it; it would be easier to chew raw sugar than look directly at Clark’s smiling face for more than a minute.

“Thank you,” Diana says, a smile of her own tugging at her lips. That’s Clark for you. He’s always able to bring a smile to others’ faces, whether he means to or not. That’s just the kind of person he is. Kind, warm, a good man.

Bruce watches in fascination as Clark finds a pair of scissors and with what appears to be very well practiced movements starts cutting the dead ends off Diana’s hair. Bruce has never been so fascinated in his entire life and he feels stupid even admitting that to himself. He watches as Superman, with all the strength in the world, separates Diana’s hair into layers and carefully cuts it into a perfectly rounded line. Longer in the back than in the front, just like Diana likes it. It’s not more than a few inches that lands on the floor, but Bruce isn’t really looking at Diana’s hair as much as he’s staring at Clark’s hands. They’re moving so gently, so carefully, so elegantly, and Bruce feels a slight tugging in his chest as he’s reminded of how his mother used to cut his hair when he was a young child.

Not that Martha Wayne ever had the chance to know him as anything other than a young child.

Bruce doesn’t stay to watch the rest of the haircut; he doesn’t need to watch the mess and feel frustrated when Clark will more likely than not just blow the hairs into a corner with his stupid super breath – at least that’s what he tells himself. Frustration is a better emotion that the throbbing pain growing in his chest, even if it is misguided. Bruce isn’t a fool – he knows exactly why it’s easier to redirect his emotions towards Clark into anger and frustration rather than think too deeply about what it would feel like to have Clark’s strong hands in his hair. Or anywhere else on him for that matter.

Bruce can’t stop thinking about it though. He tries to get rid of the entire Clark-cutting-hair phenomenon, but it becomes an obsessive thought in his mind. He dreams of Clark’s hands in his hair, sliding down his neck, scratching at his scalp and while it is nowhere near the dirtiest dream he’s had of Clark, he still wakes up hard and wanting. The humiliation should be punishment enough, but of course it doesn’t stop there. When has Batman ever done anything half-heartedly?

It's like a bug has dug its way into his brain. He sees Clark’s hands in everything he does. Sees them mirrored in his own, calloused hands. He can’t help but wonder if anything could ever be strong enough to leave callouses on Clark’s skin? Surely Kryptonite can penetrate the skin, but leave permanent marks? Bruce doubts it.

He sees Clark’s movements as he watches Alfred cut a package open.

The intimacy, the calm movements; they’re stuck in his mind. There’s practice there, Bruce can tell. When did Clark learn to cut hair? Did his mother teach him? Did his father? Has he been professionally trained? In all his research of Clark – and yes, there’s been a lot over the years – Bruce has never once come across any articles or files mentioning Clark wanting to be a hair stylist or having any kind of experience in the field.

It’s because it’s something unknown. Something to mull over, something to investigate. It’s a mystery and Bruce is a detective after all. He’s curious, that’s all. It would be easy enough to ask Clark, but where’s the fun in that? Besides, Bruce doesn’t want to let him know he’s been thinking about the entire thing so much. It’s been two weeks, at this point it would just look odd. Or obsessive. And Bruce doesn’t need Clark to see him as obsessive. It’s more than enough that Alfred does. He might’ve stared longer than entirely necessary until Alfred put the scissors away.

Every time Bruce thinks he might be rid of the thought, Clark does something with his hands that reminds him of it. Or with his shoulders, for that matter. When did Bruce get so obsessed with how Clark moves his upper body? Not something he wants to think about too much either. Just because he’s aware of his own feelings doesn’t mean he has to address them. Not even to himself.

It takes Bruce about three weeks to realize that he might be jealous of Diana. He tells himself it’s because of the pure bliss on her face when Clark combed his hands through it, but he can’t lie to himself forever. It’s the intimacy of it, the trust, not the action itself, he knows. Bruce isn’t an idiot. He knows it’s not about Diana, it’s the fact that it isn’t him. He wants to experience Clark’s hands in his hair too. He wants it for more than one reason, none of which he’s ready to admit to just yet, but the intimacy of it is the thing that pulls at him.

It takes him three weeks and two days to stop being an idiot and let go of the unnecessary jealousy. At least the part that pertains to Diana. It’s not like Clark has touched her hair since, after all. Suddenly Bruce notices how many others have Clark’s hands on them though. Clark’s an affectionate guy, Bruce knows this, accepts this, likes it even – at least to some extent. But does he really have to keep touching everyone’s shoulder? Or ruffle their hair? Bump his shoulder to theirs? Bruce is starting to wonder if Clark has been raised with too many hugs as a child. Knowing Martha Kent, it wouldn’t surprise him.

Despite his growing distain for Clark’s handsy-ness, Bruce is still trying to figure out how the hell he can ask Clark to help out with his hair. He’s been watching Hal ask (because he’s not the only one suddenly interested in Clark’s newly discovered skills, it seems), but he can’t just go up to Clark and be like ‘yo, you did an awesome job with Di’s hair, man, wanna do mine too?’ Firstly, because he’d never start a conversation with ‘yo’, and secondly, he might literally die of embarrassment. He has to find a better way to do it and while he’s making plans and scrapping them again, fate somehow takes care of the problem for him. If you tend to believe in fate, of course.

It’s not even a conscious decision, he just kind of ends up… neglecting his hair a little bit. It’s been at least a month since he’s been to his favorite salon. He’s been going to the same place for years. Adrienne is an amazing stylist, she’s calm and collected and she doesn’t give a damn about who Bruce Wayne is. She scolds him for never using conditioner properly and she teases him about his kids. She’s a good woman. She’s having a child herself soon though; she’s going on maternity leave. Somehow Bruce forgets to make a new appointment after witnessing Clark cut Diana’s hair. He was supposed to call the salon, make an appointment with Adrienne’s replacement or one of the other stylists now that he’s missed Adrienne’s last available day. But it’s not like Bruce can just choose someone else to cut his hair. He likes Adrienne, she’s nice and she cuts his hair perfectly. He’ll just wait until she’s back.

Except maternity leave isn’t just a few weeks, at least not with the proper union and a good job. Adrienne has both and she’s not coming back to the shop for at least another few months. Bruce is excited for her; she deserves the time with her newborn daughter. Bruce makes sure to send a check for ‘baby Amanda’ the moment he learns her name.

Without him even noticing it’s been nearly two months since he’s gotten his hair cut. There are enough excuses: he’s busy with the League, with Batman things. He doesn’t have to show up at any galas the next month, he doesn’t have to dress up much for the cameras. There’s the small image of Clark offering to cut Bruce’s hair too, but he doesn’t voice that one out loud. So, yeah, Bruce neglects his hair.

Alfred hates him for it.

Bruce kind of hates himself too, but he’s too far in to stop. It’s just hair, he’ll take a pair of clippers to it if it gets too bad (Alfred won’t let him, of course, but the intention is there if need be). He’s found that gel does wonders even for longer hair – and he’s wearing the cowl more hours of the day than not. It’s going to be fine. Maybe he’ll just grow it out. Dick has told him he’d look good with shoulder length hair, although Bruce is ninety percent sure that it was a joke.

He goes back and forth several times a day, hating how he longs for Clark’s hands when he’s never even held the man’s hand before. At least not in a way that counts (near-death experiences are not the most romantic settings and they do not count). Most days he ignores his hair, ignores the longing. Others he spends looking up styles, wanting to see if Clark can do this or that with his hair. He’s never been one to make special requests, he usually has Adrienne choose the latest style for him, but somehow, he’d like to see what Clark can do. What he’s willing to do for Bruce. It’s a silly thought; Clark would do anything for Bruce, he already knows this. Clark would do anything for everyone. He’s Superman, there’s nothing he wouldn’t sacrifice if it meant saving someone else.

It is not that kind of willingness Bruce is seeking from Clark. Because he may not be ready to admit his own feelings out loud just yet (or ever), but Bruce knows what he wants from Clark. It’s his time, his trust. It’s not just Superman with all his infinite power that Bruce has fallen in love with, although that part of Clark is very attractive and cannot be completely separated from who Clark is. But more important to Bruce is Clark Kent. The boy who grew up on a farm in Kansas, who writes amazing articles for the Daily Planet. The man who can make even Batman laugh, no matter how much Bruce denies the fact afterwards. It’s Clark who cut Diana’s hair so she wouldn’t have to walk around with the reminder of a hurt civilian. It’s Clark who cut Hal’s hair simply because he asked. It’s Clark, who smiles at Bruce like he hung the moon, even though Clark is as bright a point in Bruce’s life as the sun itself.

Bruce wants Clark to cut his hair because he’s curious what development it would bring to their relationship. And there’s of course the minor detail of Clark having the strongest hands on Earth, yet he moves them so carefully that Bruce can’t help but be intrigued.

At some point even Batman has to stop obsessing, much to his own dismay. He cannot figure out a way to bring it up to Clark without sounding like a maniac or at the very least like an obsessive creep. So he ignores it as best he can. He’ll just wait until Adrienne is back and until then he’ll simply let his hair be. It’s just hair, he’ll be fine. How long can Bruce keep thinking about Clark’s hands anyways?

While it’s not an actual question, Bruce does get the answer sooner rather than later. Because fate does in fact do the work for him this time. And as usual fate is a cruel woman, intent on making Bruce suffer. He should’ve known.

His shoulder is dislocated on a mission. It’s stupid, it’s a rookie mistake, but it happens. He’s Batman, he isn’t invisible. And sometimes the others forget that. Even Clark.

They should’ve communicated better, clearer. It wasn’t Clark’s fault per se (or at all, if you ask Bruce, but one thing they have in common is how stubborn they are with their feeling of guilt), Bruce should’ve been more focused. Or at least awake enough to have been able to remove himself from a dangerous situation instead of needing Clark to come to his rescue. As he said. Rookie mistake. A quick shove to get Bruce out of the way ended with Bruce stumbling and the building catching on his shoulder on the way down. Nothing serious, nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a quick hand, but Clark wouldn’t set it no matter how much Bruce asked. Something about ‘making it worse’.

Diana, on the other hand, doesn’t make a fuss; she merely pops the shoulder back in its socket, but the sound has Clark wince, and he looks like a kicked puppy when Bruce grunts in pain. He’s feeling guilty and Bruce can’t stand it. It’s eerily like when Dick – or Jason for that matter – used to look at him with a trembling lower lip and tears in their eyes. It makes Bruce’s stomach twist, and he wants nothing more than to erase that expression off their faces.

Which is why it’s Superman who’s helping Bruce out of his suit, peeling back the layers carefully to not jostle his shoulder too much. It hurts, but he’s had worse. He’s always had worse. He’s already popped a few painkillers (at Clark’s behest), so it’s nothing he can’t grind his teeth through. Clark is gentle in his movements, like he is with everything else, and Bruce desperately wants to be able to undress himself – or at the very least be allowed to try. His shoulder will be bothering him for a few weeks, he knows and accepts this, but Clark clearly does not.

“You’re covered in dirt,” Clark says almost apologetically.

It’s not his fault that Bruce is dirty. Not even Kevlar can withstand the force of a building falling on top of it. It’s mostly his face anyway, he’ll be fine. Clark seems to think otherwise though. As if the dust falling in the air during a battle is somehow entirely his fault.

“Let’s get this off of you,” he says as he pulls at Bruce’s cowl. If it had been intact Clark would’ve had ten thousand volts searing through his hands. He probably wouldn’t have noticed either way. He tugs the remnants of the cowl off Bruce’s head and throws it on the ground. Then he turns to help Bruce out of the under armor but freezes mid movement.

Bruce figures he must look a little sweaty, but that shouldn’t have Clark pause like that. He waits for another beat or two. Clark still doesn’t move. Bruce just stares back, panic slowly crawling up his throat. Is it that bad? Has he hit his head? Will it leave a scar he can’t hide as Bruce Wayne? He would’ve noticed this, he’s sure. He can’t feel any new blood dripping down over his skin at least, so it can’t be worse than he’s expecting. It doesn’t explain Clark’s expression. It takes a full ten seconds for Bruce to realize why he must be staring.

Shit. His hair.

Slowly, ever so carefully, Clark lifts one hand to Bruce’s head.

This is absolutely not the way he’s been planning on having Clark run his fingers through his hair. It’s been mushed all flat in the cowl and he wasn’t kidding when he described himself looking like a sweaty mess.

“What,” Clark says softly. “Have you done.” It’s not a question, not really, more like a statement. Clark looks horrified.

“What?” Bruce decides to play dumb. It’s just hair, he reminds himself. He’s nearly convinced himself to just forget about the whole Clark-cutting-his-hair ordeal (no, really), so there’s no reason to feel any kind of shame in how he looks. He’s Batman, it doesn’t matter if he’s not looking his best.

The hand lands on Bruce’s head and digs into his hair. It feels grounding and Bruce nearly lets out a sigh at the feeling. He swallows it down in the nick of time, but Clark’s hands are just so big and soft. So careful wherever they touch Bruce, whether it’s to help him up or to shake his hand. Or, apparently, to pet his head.

“How the hell can you live with this?” Clark asks as he pats at the mess on top of Bruce’s head.

Bruce frowns. So he’s let it grow out, there’s no need to be rude. Or, well, Clark’s equivalent of rude. Bruce doesn’t think he’s ever heard Clark swear before. Hell isn’t exactly a bad word but coming from Clark’s mouth it might as well have been ‘fuck’.

“What’s the big deal?” Bruce asks, trying – and failing – to cross his arms over his chest. Stupid shoulder. He ends up dropping his hands back at his sides and feels even more awkward. Is it possible to feel both embarrassed and defensive at the same time? Questions he would not have to ask himself if Clark hadn’t made him take those damn painkillers. His brain is slower than usual.

“You-” Clark looks like he wants to strangle him, but in an oddly affectionate way. Not the worst look Bruce has seen on him, honestly. Oh, yep, the painkillers are doing an excellent job at breaking Bruce’s brain. “I’m cutting your hair.”

“What?” Bruce very intelligently asks. Again. He’s sure he heard Clark right, but then again, he’s been thinking about this exact scenario for far too long to trust himself – or his ears for that matter.

“I am cutting your hair,” Clark says. “Do you have conditioner?”

“Why would I- ow!” Bruce exclaims as Clark tugs at his hair. A chunk of his hair which is matted together with another piece. Okay, so maybe he’s been a little more than neglecting it. He got busy, alright? A little gel to slick it back and he’s been good to go. He washes it too, it’s not actually dirty. He thinks.

“Because you have thick hair, you idiot,” Clark scolds and tugs once more to prove his point. “How have you even been able to brush your hair with these knots?”

“I don’t,” Bruce says.

“You don’t?”

“Brush it,” he clarifies.

“What.” Another not-question.

“I run my hands through it?” Bruce tries. It had seemed like a good idea to grow his hair out but somehow Clark hadn’t noticed until way too late and Bruce can’t really be bothered to do anything other than put product in it if he’s going out as Bruce Wayne. The look in Clark’s eyes makes Bruce almost wish he was directing the heat vision his way instead. Not the smoothest plan then, he supposes. Batman can’t always be right. At least not when it’s Bruce Wayne doing the planning. Somehow the two don’t always mix well.

“That- you could not have been able to do that with these knots,” Clark says, pulling at his hair again. It feels rather nice, actually. Not that Bruce can say that without sounding weird when Clark is looking at him like a disappointed parent.

“Oh. Yeah, no, it’s been an issue,” Bruce admits. Pressing the hair down in the morning counts as running his hands through it though, right?  

“One you haven’t resolved?” Clark quirks an eyebrow at him.

It seems very much like a challenge and Bruce doesn’t like the implications. Of course, he hasn’t resolved the issue when the issue itself wasn’t supposed to be solved by him. Clark was supposed to solve it. Not that he knew that or should ever know that in fact if Bruce thinks about it. Growing your hair out on the off chance that your crush might notice and decide to offer to cut it for you? Oh God, he should’ve thought this through. Why does his brain never work properly when it involves Clark?

“I’ve been busy.” He doesn’t mean to grumble but he can hear it clearly in his own voice. He hopes that combined with the frown on his face, it’ll just sound like he’s annoyed. Clark is used to handling an annoyed Batman after all.

“There is no excuse for this, B,” Clark says, and his voice takes on that soft slightly pitying tone.

Oh shit, of course Clark would assume Bruce is depressed or something awful has happened since he’s been neglecting himself. Bruce kind of wants to tell Clark it’s more or less his fault for only noticing now but he doesn’t think that’ll go over too well. For one Clark will most likely feel guilty over Bruce’s stupidity and secondly that would mean Bruce explaining why and how much he’s been thinking about Clark. Not a good idea there. He may be willing to admit it in his head now, but out loud? Not going to happen.

“I do know how to do this,” Clark says softly, and Bruce is snapped back to the present.

“I know,” he says without thinking. Clark is trying to reassure him, to make Bruce trust him, while all Bruce has been thinking about for nearly three whole months is how to bribe Clark into cutting his hair. Bruce trusts him, would trust him with his life. There is no need for Clark to try to reassure him in any way.

“So you’ll let me help?” The hopeful look on Clark’s face would’ve convinced Bruce even if he hadn’t spent a copious amount of time wishing for this exact moment.

“Yes,” is all Bruce says in response because he doesn’t know what else he can really say to convey all his feelings without actually, you know, conveying all his feelings. His mind is getting muddled, he should probably stick to saying as little as possible.

“Great.” Clark’s smile could light up a thousand cities and Bruce wants to shield his eyes, even though he knows it’s stupid and all in his head. “Now let’s get you cleaned up first.”

Clark doesn’t undress Bruce entirely – no, he’s way too wall-mannered for that – but he does get the tight shirt over his head without too much of a struggle. It’s wet from sweat and Bruce would really rather keep it on, but Clark insists that he needs a clean canvas, and he can’t wash Bruce’s hair when he’s got a shirt on.

It sounds like an excuse to get Bruce naked, but he knows that can’t be right. Clark wouldn’t think like that, at least not about Bruce. Right? It’s his head. It’s making him overanalyze everything even more than he usually does. It’s all…

“Fuzzy.” He doesn’t mean to say it out loud, yet his mouth is looser than he’d like it to be.

He should do his poison course again, make sure he’s still immune to most if not all kinds of painkillers as well. Alfred must’ve snuck some of the stronger kinds onto the Watchtower, although Bruce has no idea how or when he’d done that.

Clark looks at him like he’s just heard Bruce utter a particularly intimate detail of his life. Bruce can barely remember what he’d said, and he realizes that it might be a lovely cocktail of painkillers and having an Amazonian warrior princess set his shoulder back in its socket that has his mind a little unbalanced. It doesn’t help that Clark keeps touching and guiding him.

Bruce sits on a chair next to the sink, his head leaned back to rest on the edge. It’s not nearly as comfortable as the sinks at the salon, but he can’t really complain when he’s getting his hair washed by someone else. Especially when that someone is Clark.

Bruce blinks and the next moment Clark is standing with a handful of stuff in his hands. It looks like a pair of scissors, at least three different bottles of shampoo and- hair clippers? He knows he shouldn’t be surprised; Clark did offer to help him out, but Bruce had somehow not realized that Clark would need actual tools to cut his hair. He’d been too focused on the whole hair-washing part of it all. No matter how many hours he’s spent obsessing, he couldn’t have imagined that Clark would have all of these things lying around; that he’d be this prepared. Perhaps he’s been cutting the other leaguer’s hair without Bruce noticing? He doesn’t think he’d have missed something so crucial, but he knows he sometimes gets too caught up in the little things (how to actually ask Clark to cut his hair) to see the bigger picture.

Clark puts his stuff down and twists the tap to let the water start flowing. Wouldn’t wetting Bruce’s hair have been easier in the actual showers?

Clark doesn’t go directly for his hair though and Bruce has to press his lips together to keep from commenting on how gently Clark is washing both his face and neck. He may be covered in dirt and sweat but there really is no reason for Clark to be so careful with him. It’s not the first time Bruce has had to ask for help with showering, but it’s usually more along the lines of having someone to lean on in the actual shower, not having someone rub over his skin with a washcloth.

Bruce watches out of the corner of his eye as Clark discards of the washcloth and then squirts shampoo into his hands and rubs them together. He then reaches over Bruce and digs his fingers into his hair. Bruce’s eyelids flutter but he forces them to stay open. He feels a little silly and the silence is becoming too much for him.

“Thank you for trusting me,” Clark says at the same time as Bruce utters: “Thank you for this.”

There’s a brief moment of stunned silence and then Bruce sighs. This is not how he’s been imagining (time and time again) having Clark’s hands on him, but he’s not going to complain.

“How do you know how to do this?” He asks conversationally. To fill the emptiness, of course, not just because he’s genuinely curious. Although he has not been able to find any satisfying answers in his research and he does like it best when he has all the answers.

“Oh, Ma taught me,” Clark says easily as he scrubs at Bruce’s head.

“You used to cut her hair?” That shouldn’t surprise him. Clark has a good relationship with his mother, his father too. He’s a good son, it wouldn’t be out of the question for him to have cut his mother’s hair, Bruce supposes.

“She used to cut mine,” Clark corrects with a soft smile. “When I moved to Metropolis, she told me I should know how to do it myself. She never really trusted those big company salons.”

Bruce thinks of Adrienne and the fact that he chose that particular salon because it’s smaller and not crowded or located in a mall somewhere. He nods. He’ll have to agree with Mrs. Kent here. Smaller salons are preferable, although Bruce will never underestimate the power of a home wash after experiencing Clark’s hands in his hair. He’s gentle but firm, and Bruce can feel his shoulders drop from their perpetuating position near his neck. He forgets to respond to Clark’s answer.

“How can you live like this?” Clark asks eventually. He’s rinsing Bruce’s hair, shielding his eyes with his palm as he lets the water wash away the dirty foam.

“It’s just hair.” Bruce shrugs. Or tries to shrug. He flinches a little and then settles back against the sink.

“It’s your hair, Bruce,” Clark objects before wringing some of the water out of Bruce’s hair. “How do you take care of it?”

“I wash it, dry it-” Bruce starts, while trying not to roll his eyes too much. He should’ve known Clark would be anal about this the same way he is about anything else.

“How?” Clark interrupts.

“How, what?”

“How do you wash it?” There’s a teasing lilt to Clark’s voice, like he knows he’s being an irritating little shit and doesn’t give a damn. He probably doesn’t. Which is the only reason he speaks to Bruce like he’s a kindergartener.

Bruce has never felt so ridiculous in his entire life as he gestures rubbing his own head like he would in the shower, albeit only using one hand. It’s awkward from this angle, leaning back against the sink but he manages. Sort of. He raises his eyebrows in a silent ‘you satisfied?’ at Clark.

“And to dry it?” is all Clark says in response.

This time Bruce does roll his eyes. “I just- rub a towel over my head, Clark, come on,” he says with a huff.

“And how do you style it?” Clark presses on.

Bruce feels his eye twitch in annoyance. So much more small talk than there usually is with Adrienne, and he’s put himself in this situation. There’s no need to be annoyed with Clark, although Bruce is ninety percent sure the Kryptonian is doing this on purpose. Probably trying to see if he can get a rise out of Bruce. Well, he’ll show him. He’s an adult, he can stay calm. It helps that Clark’s lathered up his hands again and is rubbing at his scalp with practiced movements.

“I put gel in it,” Bruce finally says. There’s no fancy style or products; he merely uses what Alfred sets out for him. One time he accidentally grabbed Jason’s styling gel and his hair was a sticky mess for days. Curly hair needs other products, it seems. The kid laughed until he cried though, it was almost worth it.

“And then?” Clark prompts.

“I go about my day,” Bruce says, patience wearing a little thin. “Just-”

“And going about your day means that you go to meetings all day and then jam that airtight thing onto your head all night, am I right?” Clark asks as he looks over his shoulder where the cowl is lying.

Bruce presses his lips together. He contemplates what to say next. His first instinct is to tell Clark to butt out of it, but he knows he’s just being defensive. He’s never been obsessed with his own hair until he saw Clark helping Diana out, and as evident by the mess on his head, his obsession wasn’t about keeping it healthy and looking good. He sighs again and settles more comfortably against the sink.

“What would you have me do then?” he asks.

Clark smiles that thousand watt smile of his and Bruce once again fights the urge to shield his eyes.

“Well,” he starts. “First of all you should have the right products-”

And somewhere in the middle of “lathering the shampoo in your hands” and “only use conditioner on the ends” Bruce realizes that Clark is having fun. Teaching something he’s passionate about to Bruce. So Bruce does his best to listen, even though it’s hard with Clark’s glorious hands on his scalp. Clark doesn’t just rub his soapy hands quickly over Bruce’s head (as he tends to do himself), he massages Bruce’s scalp gently, scratching with his nails and carefully untangling the knots. He’s being careful not to tug too hard, Bruce can tell, although he wouldn’t have minded. It’s just a little pain, he can handle pain.

Clark says something about oils and Bruce hums. He can’t quite remember when but at some point, he closes his eyes. He can’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed.

“This would be much easier in an actual stylist sink,” Clark mutters as he tries to maneuver around Bruce’s body to get the last conditioner out of his hair.

“I’ll buy you ten,” shoots out of Bruce’s mouth before he has the chance to stop his tongue from moving. At least he has enough of a grip on himself not to add ‘if it means you’ll do this every day’.

“Sounds like those painkillers are doing their job,” Clark says with a laugh. It’s booming and comfortable. It’s beautiful. “Let’s get you upright.”

Clark wraps a towel around Bruce’s head, a little less elegantly than Adrienne usually does, but Bruce doesn’t mind. He feels lightheaded from the scalp massage and he’s pretty sure he’d walk directly into a volcano if Clark guided him to the edge. He turns dutifully when Clark’s hands press against his back and sits on the bench in the locker room. Clark presses his hands against the towel, scrunching the material up in his capable hands instead of just rubbing it. He then places the damp towel over Bruce’s shoulders before picking up the pair of scissors he’d brought earlier.

Bruce’s breathing is calm and deep and if his instincts as Batman hadn’t made him borderline paranoid, he’s certain he’d have been able to fall asleep right there on the bench.

***

The bench doesn’t have the best height for cutting hair, but there isn’t anywhere else that will be much better without exposing Bruce to the entire League. And while Bruce may not be shy or easily embarrassed, Clark would much rather work on his hair in peace. Quiet. Private. It feels intimate in a way he hasn’t felt when Hal had asked him to cut his hair. He’s helped Diana out more than once, but that’s mostly because Clark isn’t a fan of how she’ll just cut through her hair with a sword if there isn’t a salon nearby. That’s Amazons for you.

Clark knows that Bruce doesn’t mind being without the cowl per se, but he prefers it to stay on, even at the Watchtower. They might know each other’s identities but that doesn’t mean Bruce feels comfortable walking around without his mask the same way Wally or even Hal does. So it isn’t entirely unreasonable that Clark also wants them to stay in the locker room. At least that’s what he tells himself as he runs his hands through Bruce’s damp hair.

It already looks much better than when they started. Clark has never seen anything quite like the mess that was unveiled for him. Bruce’s hair was… like nothing Clark’s seen before on the billionaire. He could barely believe his own eyes. Not because Bruce’s hair was really that bad, but compared to how it usually looks? It’s horrendous. What in the world had happened to Bruce’s head?

Has it really been that long since he’s seen him without his cowl on? That can’t be right. But it must be because Bruce’s hair is– it’s a mess. It nearly reaches below his ears, and while Clark has been able to undo most of the damage, it was completely knotted in some places when he started.

Clark feels the echo of feelings when he first laid his eyes on that bird’s nest on top of Bruce’s head. His fingers had twitched with the need to run them through the chaos that Bruce calls his hair. He’d been caught in his own head, though. Thinking how it wouldn’t be appropriate, of course. He couldn’t just offer to, what, brush Bruce’s hair? Bruce would never take his cowl off again and their fragile friendship would burn to the ground. And yet Clark couldn’t keep his mouth shut. It’s just… Bruce has never looked this unruly, this unkept before. At least never in front of Clark. It’s… it’s endearing somehow, that they’ve come this far. That Bruce will allow Clark to be this close to him, to help him like this.

It's one thing to be injured – Clark knows Bruce hates being perceived as weak or hurt, but he can’t just ignore a dislocated shoulder, much as he tries – but it’s another to be seen as a mess. Clark knows Bruce doesn’t always think too much of his own appearance, he’s Batman, after all, but at least from the articles he’s seen about Bruce Wayne lately, he hasn’t been able to tell that his hair was this bad.

A little longer, perhaps, and Clark thinks it suits him, suits Bruce Wayne. But having all that hair, knotted up and tangled in the cowl? That shouldn’t have been possible. Bruce would’ve never let it get that bad. Something must’ve happened. Which is why Clark offered to help, that’s all. If he can help Bruce in any way, even something as small as this, he’ll do it.

He’d honestly thought Bruce would reject him. It’s not as though Clark has ever demonstrated his skills and he did spring it on Bruce rather suddenly. Batman liked to be prepared, to have all information before making a decision, which is why his answer surprised Clark as much as it did. He wasn’t about to let the opportunity slip by though.

Clark’s been wanting to get his hands on Bruce’s hair for months now, if not longer. The first time he saw Bruce being all Bruce Wayne amongst the other socialites after knowing who Bruce really was, he’d barely been able to believe his own eyes. His hair looked so soft, so silky, swept away from his face in a voluminous style. Framing his chiseled face perfectly. Clark had never felt such a pure need to touch. He hadn’t, of course, because that wasn’t who he was. Who they were. But that didn’t take the need away.

And now here he is, clipping Bruce’s hair away and brushing through the inner layers. Clark doesn’t usually just cut someone’s hair without asking them what they want, but with Bruce… with Bruce he just knows. He knows what looks good on Bruce and not only because he’s spent a worrying amount of time staring at the man. If he wants to keep the length, Clark will make that work, but judging from Bruce’s reaction to Clark’s questions, it seems more likely that Bruce wants something easy, something that doesn’t take a lot of time to maintain.

He keeps the neck short, perfectly straight, fading into the longer pieces at the top. He runs a comb through the longer strands, watches as Bruce’s hair falls over his face and notices how he’s closed his eyes. Bruce looks relaxed in a way Clark can’t remember ever seeing before. It makes his heart swell. He cuts a good two and a half inches off the length and can’t help but hum under his breath as he does so. It’s a calming practice, cutting someone’s hair, even if that someone is Batman. Maybe especially when that someone is Batman. Clark runs his hands through Bruce’s hair, tussling it a bit to see what it looks like relaxed. He cleans up the edges with the clippers, is careful around Bruce’s ears and the back of his neck where most men are sensitive.

Clark steps onto the other side of the bench, sitting in front of Bruce to run his hands through the now mostly dry hair, moving it from side to side to get a better feeling of if he’s missed anything. He’s startled by the intense blue eyes staring back at him but tries to focus on Bruce’s hair. He moves the bangs to the side, sweeping it back from Bruce’s face and sends him a grin.

“Look how gorgeous you are now,” he says excitedly. He’s done a good job, if he does say so himself. All the knots are gone, and Bruce looks less like a neglected child and more like the handsome billionaire that he is.

Bruce is frowning though. At Clark’s words, he realizes a moment too late.

“Not that you weren’t before!” He hurries to add, a little awkwardly.

Bruce stands from the bench to look in the nearby mirror, running his hand through the strands hesitantly. There’s something like astonishment on his face. It might be a grateful smile tugging at his lips too, but Clark’s too busy staring at the slight flush that fills Bruce’s cheeks. If he didn’t know any better Clark would say that Bruce is blushing. It can’t be, it must be the heat in the room or maybe he’s just really uncomfortable. Oh, shoot. Clark should’ve probably not used a word like gorgeous. Not that Bruce isn’t, of course, but it suddenly seems a lot more intimate a compliment than he’d meant it to be.

“What do you think?” Clark can’t help but ask.

“It’s nice,” Bruce answers. Short and direct.

If it had been anyone else Clark might’ve taken offense to the lack of enthusiasm, but this is Batman he’s looking at. Nice might be the sweetest thing Bruce has ever said to Clark while in costume. At least outside of danger. ‘Nice’ and ‘don’t you dare die on me’ can’t really be compared in these circumstances.

“I’m glad you like it,” Clark says. “Please don’t mess it up.”

“It’s my hair,” Bruce comments, but he’s smiling a little bit. Not enough that anyone who doesn’t know him would notice. Clark knows though, he notices.

“It’s my hard work,” Clark counters with a grin. Bruce shakes his head, but he doesn’t object, which just makes Clark smile that much broader. “No, but seriously. Don’t let it get that bad again.”

Bruce runs a hand through the hair again, trying to glance at himself in mirror. Another thing Clark notices. Bruce doesn’t respond to Clark’s comments though, so he takes it upon himself to keep the conversation going.

“How did it get to this anyway? Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened.” It doesn’t exactly sound like a lie, but there’s something in Bruce’s heartbeat. A slight hesitation in his breath.

Clark frowns, which in turn makes Bruce look rather… flustered? That can’t be right. Batman doesn’t get flustered.

“My stylist-” Bruce says, a hint of desperation to his voice. “She’s on maternity leave.”

“Oh,” Clark says. That should be explanation enough, but somehow it isn’t. Bruce doesn’t have to use the same exact stylist every time, although he is a creature of habit. Even so he’s got more than enough money to hire the best of the best. It shouldn’t be an issue to get his hair cut. Clark is pretty sure most hairstylists would give their dominant hand to get the chance at washing Bruce Wayne hair, not to mention actually cutting it. He feels an odd sense of pride swell in his chest. “When’s she coming back?”

“Not for a few months at least,” Bruce explains. He seems troubled by this, and Clark can’t help the next words out of his mouth.

“I could do it. Cut your hair. Until she’s back,” he says, stutters. He’s not exactly sure where this bravery comes from. Bruce must have others, someone more capable to help. Then again, he did look very much like a homeless man with his knotted hair. Clark can’t trust him to take care of it himself. He’s just offering his services like any friend would. Never mind that he gets to bury his hands in Bruce’s thick hair every four to six weeks, if he’s lucky.

“Alright,” Bruce says. The blue of his eyes seems even brighter than usual, and Clark has a hard time looking away. There’s a beat of silence and then: “Thank you.”

“No problem, B,” Clark says happily. It really is no problem. He likes doing people’s hair, it’s a fun little hobby, away from the superhero part of his life. He also can’t remember the last time Bruce thanked him not once, but twice in one day. He feels like he’s walking on clouds. He glances at his feet discreetly to make sure they’re still planted on the ground.

“Now, will you let me shower or do you not trust me to wash my own body either?” Bruce asks, and all signs of him being embarrassed are gone in the blink of an eye. There is something playful in his demeanor, but Clark doesn’t want to assume anything. Bruce has been known to flirt, even if Clark has never been on the receiving end of his sultry looks.

“Well, if you want a hand with that too,” Clark drawls. He can’t help his teasing tone just to see how Bruce might react. He doesn’t know what he expects, but Bruce biting his lower lip and his cheeks reddening isn’t it. He isn’t complaining though. The bashful look suits Bruce very well.

“Idiot,” Bruce mutters as he stalks past him towards the showers.

Clark laughs. He doesn’t follow Bruce in but only because he knows Bruce is fine. He’s been monitoring his heartrate, listening for any ticks that would indicate he’s in pain. Well, more pain than usual at least. The painkillers are working wonderfully, keeping Bruce’s discomfort to a minimum, and Clark will have to remember to send a thank you note to Alfred. Bruce may be strong, but even strong men need someone to look after them once in a while. Sometimes even two someones, if Clark has any say in it.

***

That’s that. At least that’s what Bruce thinks as he runs a hand through his admittedly very healthy hair. It feels silky and he can’t help but wonder if Clark has missed his true calling. He can’t remember the last time his hair looked this good without a team of professionals running around him for hours – and even then, it would always either fall flat at the end of the day or it would be all stiff to the touch.

So, yes, that’s that. Clark has cut his hair and they made a deal to make it a regular thing. Bruce can’t believe his own luck, he will absolutely have to send Adrienne another fruit basket. Having Clark’s hands in his hair, having him cut it and having Clark… well, pamper is the closest word Bruce can find to describe the experience in the locker room. Having Clark pamper him, spoil him with his touches. It was everything Bruce imagined and more.

Clark works steady, confidently. There’s the same unwavering strength in his hands when he washes Bruce’s hair as when he punches aliens on the battlefield. It’s a mesmerizing experience to witness. Bruce is happy with the outcome, although he could have gone without the dislocated shoulder, the humiliation of his hair being that bad and a few other details. All in all, it was good though, and Bruce is glad his obsessive side found a solution that didn’t expose him too bad. And that’s that.

Except that isn’t that.

Because of course it isn’t. This is Clark Kent, investigative journalist from the Daily Planet, they’re talking about. Of course, that cannot be it.

Not even a week later Clark corners him in the monitor room. Alright, corners might be a bit harsh; they’re supposed to be on duty together but there’s no reason for Clark to stand so damn close. There is absolutely no reason for him to send Bruce those puppy dog eyes of his.

Clark rocks back and forth on his toes, hands behind his back as he grins.

“What?” Bruce barks. He narrowly avoids crossing his arms over his chest. His shoulder is still bothering him, but it’s more about seeming unaffected that worries Bruce.

“Can I see it?” Clark asks as he bounces. Bruce wants to reach out and grab his shoulder to keep him still. He doesn’t move.

“See-” He starts. Clark is referring to his hair, Bruce realizes. He narrows his eyes. It’s only been a few days since Clark cut it, there shouldn’t be a reason for him to want to see it. Unless he somehow messed up and hasn’t realized until now. Clark wouldn’t lie about something like that though. Clark wouldn’t lie, period.  “Why?” He asks, suspicious.

“I want to see what it looks like when you style it yourself,” Clark explains and finally stops rocking. His tone turns teasing. “I want to inspect your work.”

“I’ve been wearing the cowl for several hours, Clark,” Bruce argues.

“I know, but-” And then he has the audacity to rub the toe of his boot against the floor like a shy schoolgirl. Bruce promptly ignores the flutter in his chest as Clark looks up at him through his lashes. “I want to see it though.”

“Fine,” Bruce sighs. He makes a point of rolling his eyes dramatically as soon as the cowl is off. He can’t have Clark thinking he actually enjoys getting to show his hair off. He’s been doing good with Clark’s directions, hasn’t deviated from them even once. There’s an odd pride in it that he doesn’t want to look too closely at.

There’s no way the sound that Bruce hears is an actual squeal and there certainly is no conceivable way it came from Clark. Bruce snaps his head up and despite it being impossible, there’s no other way to describe the noise that left Clark’s mouth as anything but a squeal. He looks downright giddy.

“There,” Bruce says, balancing the cowl on his hip. “You happy?”

He doesn’t have to ask. He can tell Clark is happy even without the airy ‘squee’ sound he let out. Bruce is sure his hair looks a mess and- since when has he ever cared about that? Probably around the same time he bought all the different shampoos Clark recommended and actually started using them. It’s silly, he knows, Clark won’t see his hair most days. But the look on his face as he sees Bruce’s hair? Worth every extra minute in the shower. Even if all the new soaps make his entire bathroom - not to mention his hair - smell like bananas.

It was that or coconut and Bruce could not take the thought of everything smelling like artificial coconut.

It’s a reflex, Bruce can tell, when Clark reaches out to run his hand through Bruce’s hair. He gets as far as pushing around a few strands before he catches Bruce’s eyes. The hand is snatched back faster than Bruce’s eyes can track.

“Oh,” Clark says, voice oddly breathless. Bruce wants to steal the last of that breath with his lips. He presses his own together to stop that train of thought. “Sorry. Just wanted to make sure there were no knots.”

“I know how to wash my hair, Clark,” Bruce says, mentally chasing his own thoughts away, hoping and praying to every deity he can think of that Clark doesn’t notice the heat in his cheeks. He probably does. Clark always notices. There should be a law against some of this man’s abilities, Bruce thinks as he frowns.

“Well, I’ve seen plenty evidence to the contrary,” Clark is quick to respond.

Bruce tsks and averts his eyes. He reminds himself that he accepted the humiliation as a worthy price for having Clark’s hands on him, but it’s hard to remember the details when Clark is grinning at him with that teasing glint in his eyes. Eventually though he’ll have to actually respond and not just sulk like a grumpy teenager. He’s not really insulted (much), but Clark could be nicer. He shouldn’t, obviously. The fact that he’s comfortable enough with Bruce to tease him, makes Bruce’s heart flutter pathetically in his chest. So maybe not a grumpy teenager then, but he does have the whole love-sick thing down to a T.

“How did I do then?” Bruce asks as he schools his expression into one of indifference. He mostly succeeds. He’s pretty sure, at least. He throws his hands out to make the display complete. He must look like an idiot.

“Hm?” Clark’s distracted, and suddenly Bruce’s interest peaks. What could hold Superman’s attention in such a strong hold that he forgets he’s in the middle of a conversation? Perhaps someone is calling for help somewhere on Earth. Clark doesn’t look like he’s listening for dangers though. Bruce has become well-versed in all Clark-expressions to his own annoyance.

“With my hair,” he clarifies. “How did I do?”

“Oh,” and Clark’s attention is back entirely on Bruce. He’s not sure it ever left but Clark’s eyes did look a little glossy when he caught them with his own. “Absolutely gorgeous, you look very handsome.”

Bruce is used to compliments, gets more than his share at events, on the street, and even on the internet, but the words seem somehow different coming from Clark. More sincere, more real. He feels the corner of his mouth tug up stubbornly. He tries to squash it down. Batman doesn’t preen. Bruce Wayne doesn’t either and he’s not about to start now.

“Alright,” is all he can make himself say before turning around to smush the cowl down over his face again. It might not hide his entire face, but it’ll do well enough at concealing the flush in his cheeks.

While Bruce feels more comfortable wearing his cowl at the Watchtower, he does slowly start wearing it less and less. At least when he’s just there for monitor duty and it’s just him and Clark. The others know his identity, of course, but he’s found it beneficial to keep Bruce Wayne separate from the Justice League. At least until now.

The way Clark looks at him, looks at his hair. The way he smiles so warmly at Bruce, as if Bruce is the one who has done him a favor and not the other way around, makes Bruce feel small and warm and oddly safe in a way he can’t remember feeling for a long time. He’s not an idiot, he knows exactly what this means, but he’s not going to dwell on it. It’s fine, he’ll get used to Clark’s compliments and the way he’ll always find an excuse to touch Bruce’s hair.

‘To inspect his work’, yes, that’s why he’s running his large hands gently through Bruce’s hair whenever he gets the chance. Not in front of the League, never in front of others. It’s like it’s a thing between only the two of them, and Bruce is willing to admit he likes it that way.

While they made a deal, Bruce doesn’t exactly feel comfortable asking Clark to cut his hair the first few times. He finds a solution that’s called ‘set a date and stick to it’ and it works. He’ll just stare at Clark for a while longer than usual and he’ll get the point. It’s easy, it’s not something they discuss much despite Clark’s growing habit of touching Bruce’s hair, and Bruce likes the arrangement.

It starts with the hair: a haircut every six weeks, at least. How Bruce has gone without it, Clark doesn’t even want to know, he tells Bruce with disdain. It’s not like he has a complicated cut or anything, he’s just… How did Clark put it, again?

“You’re just- you’re an idiot, that’s what you are.” Clark’s exact words. Bruce would feel insulted except for the fact that Clark is right. He is an idiot. He just never thought he’d be this much of an idiot – least of all in front of Clark.

So, Clark cuts his hair. It’s not a big deal (to anyone but Bruce, at least). But then it becomes a thing. This time he doesn’t do it on purpose. It’s Clark who offers to teach him how to style his hair properly, it’s Clark who offers to come with him to buy the right products.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Bruce, but-” Clark says, and Bruce rolls his eyes. You buy one wrong shampoo and suddenly you’re never to be trusted again.

“I swear you’re doing this on purpose,” Clark then accuses when Bruce is once again injured on a mission and can’t wash the blood out of his own hair. He argues, of course he does, but he also closes his eyes in bliss when Clark washes his hair thoroughly.

Clark is always gentle with him. Massages his scalp and neck, his temples even if he’s really tense. Clark talks when he’s washing Bruce’s hair. Clark’s always been more of a talker than Bruce and that fits them both perfectly fine, but what’s surprising is that Bruce talks too during the haircuts and washes. Somehow as soon as Clark’s hands are in his hair, the lock on Bruce’s mouth clicks open and out spills his guts.

He tells Clark about how he and Dick have been fighting a lot, but that he’s trying his best to make it better, to do better. He tells Clark how Jason’s attitude is growing, but he’s still so proud of far the kid has come. He tells him about Alfred’s trip to England, that left Bruce in charge of food and how awful that went. Clark insisted on coming over and making them dinner and Bruce couldn’t find it in himself to reject the offer. He does not tell Clark about Jason’s questions and comments after he left.

He talks about his work at Wayne Enterprises and in turn Clark tells him about his work at the Daily Planet. Clark tells him about growing up in Kansas, both the farm-boy part and the alien part of his upbringing. He talks about his Ma and Pa and about his friends growing up. He tells Bruce about his struggles when he first moved to Metropolis, when he first became Superman. He explains how to make his favorite dish, and how come Bruce has never had chicken ala king – what kind of life has he led than he hasn’t had Clark’s Ma’s chicken ala king?

And Bruce… Bruce falls harder for every word out of Clark’s mouth. He thought his crush on Clark was harmless, a thing he could ignore, but the second Clark opens up to him, properly opens up and Bruce gets to know him? He’s done for. There’s no turning back and the thought should terrify him, and in some ways it does. More than that though Bruce is just… content. He enjoys spending more time with Clark, he loves letting Clark run his mouth for hours, while Bruce just nods and listens.

Bruce likes what it does for their team too. He’s more- Clark calls him more human, but Bruce has never been anything but human. He does feel less irritable though, he’ll give Clark that. Even the other members say so, although not as directly. Well, Wally, of course, has never been one for hints, so he calls Bruce “a domesticated bat” once, but he quickly learns not to comment any further.

It doesn’t deter Clark from teasing him though. Nothing does at this point. Bruce should be annoyed, but he’s mostly just trying not to let the lovesick expression on his face show too much. Clark hasn’t called him out, which should mean that he’s doing a good job, but then again Clark is way too nice to embarrass Bruce like that (he hopes).

It starts with the hair; it evolves into talking. That’s fine, Bruce can handle this, he can be reasonable and not obsess. The touching too he can deal with. Clark’s hand on his shoulder isn’t anything new, neither is a pat on the back. The way he’ll wrap his hand around the back of Bruce’s neck isn’t exactly strange and it isn’t unwelcome, so Bruce doesn’t comment on it. It’s nice, actually, that Clark is there to calm him or make him relaxed when he’s extra tense or stressed out.

The dinners are nice too, although not entirely necessary. It isn’t like Alfred is gone every week, but somehow Clark ends up coming to the manor for dinner either way. It’s… nice. Comfortable. Bruce is getting a little suspicious, but he tries to swallow the feeling.

Don’t be obsessive, don’t question every good thing in your life. It’s easier said than done, of course, but he manages. Mostly. And spending time with Clark outside of uniform is comforting in a way Bruce doesn’t experience often, so he handles his crush, he breathes through the neck massages and tries not to blurt pathetically romantic words out in Clark’s face whenever he’s without earshot. Being Superman means he’s always within earshot though. Bruce needs a panic room lined with lead.

They fall into a nice rhythm. Not just with the haircuts but with everything else and Bruce tries not to be pessimistic and just enjoy the calm. It helps that Clark is a figurative sunshine invading his entire life and that he can’t not trust him with his… well, his everything.

But then one day when they’re on monitor duty together, Clark tugs at a strand of his hair. He’s taken to not even bothering to wear the cowl when he knows he’s just going to stare at screens all night with Clark by his side. Besides, there’s a bigger possibility of a neck rub if he’s already cowl-less, he’s learned.

“Don’t you think it’s time for another haircut?” Clark asks and his hands are rougher than usual. It’s not painful but he doesn’t usually tug at Bruce’s hair. It’s more a caress than anything and there’s something in his voice too, someone off with the tone.  

Bruce frowns. Something’s clearly off, but he doesn’t know what. It worries him, but he tries not to let it show.

“It’s only been three weeks,” he says.

“I still think it’s time,” Clark argues and turns on his heel.

There’s still at least fifteen minutes until next shift begins and although Bruce has already seen Hal and Wally in the hallway, they’re not supposed to leave the monitor room unoccupied. He stands though, can’t help it. Clark never leaves monitor duty early unless it’s really important and he seems agitated. Bruce is certain Flash and Lantern won’t mind taking over a bit early.

Bruce finds Clark in the locker room fiddling with his tools. He takes pride in having the proper scissors and a sturdy trimmer, but he doesn’t usually spend this much time polishing the blades. He doesn’t look up when Bruce enters but they have a routine now. Bruce settles by the sink, where Clark’s already made sure to prepare a chair for him. They’ve gotten an actual chair with a back designed for salon purposes – or, well, Bruce got one because he’s not getting any younger and sitting on a stool isn’t good for his back. Neither is crime fighting but he can’t switch out a chair and have Gotham suddenly calm and peaceful, so he’ll settle for a comfortable place to sit while Clark cuts his hair.

Bruce leans back as is their routine and waits for Clark to join him at the sink. It takes longer than usual but Bruce doesn’t comment on it. Clark will talk when he’s ready. He’s told Bruce that washing people’s hair is a calming process for him and that also means that he talks easier when he’s busy with his hands.

When Bruce’s hair is soaking wet and Clark lathers up his hands with the banana shampoo (“It’s for moisture, Bruce, you have such thick hair, you need to take proper care of it!”) and neither have said a word, Bruce starts to worry a little. It’s been an easy shift, nothing out of the ordinary, yet Clark’s mood suddenly changed.

They bumped into Hal and Wally on the way back from getting coffee. Did he mess up Clark’s coffee somehow? No, that couldn’t be right. Mostly because Clark wouldn’t be so petty as to get angry over that but also because Bruce knows Clark’s coffee order better than he knows his own. Research, remember? That can’t be it then. Bruce is so lost in thought that he nearly misses when Clark starts scrubbing at his head. The usually comforting scalp massage seems off and they both know it.

Clark sighs as he rinses Bruce’s hair. There’s another sigh when he starts carefully rubbing the conditioner in. A third sigh and Bruce knows he’s almost there. It’s more sighs than Clark usually lets out in an entire week. He’s starting to sound more like Bruce and- well, that thought does make Bruce feel all kinds of warm, but now is not the time to get stuck in his feelings for Clark. Bruce waits a beat, then another.

“I didn’t know you and Hal were close,” Clark finally says.

Bruce gapes slightly. He did not expect that to be the words out of Clark’s mouth. He frowns as he says, a little uncertainly: “We’re not?”

It’s no secret that he and Hal have had their differences but while they’ve worked through most of them (Hal being a grade A ass can’t really be fixed), they’re not exactly tight. They’re civil, of course, and much better at being around each other now than they used to be. Bruce wouldn’t describe them as close though, not anywhere near as close and he and Clark at least. He tolerates Hal. He… more than tolerates Clark.

“He touched your hair,” Clark says. As a way of explanation? Bruce isn’t sure. It’s not doing much to ease his confusion. Is Hal the reason Clark is this upset? That can’t be. Clark is much more composed. There must be another reason, a logic reason, for him to be this clearly rattled.

“He was admiring your work,” Bruce says, slowly.

It’s true. When they’d bumped into Hal and Wally earlier, they’d commented (teased, more like) on Bruce’s hair and how he was wearing the cowl less and less when it wasn’t an emergency. It didn’t matter if he and Clark didn’t advertise their deal, the others were bound to notice. These two especially, Flash and Lantern always had to stick their noses in other people’s business. This was why Bruce usually scheduled them with other people for monitor duty. He’d gotten sloppy with the planning though.

Hal had ruffled his hair. Bruce had – of course – smacked his arm away and grunted an insult at him. He really should stop being so comfortable at the Watchtower. Just because Clark had invaded his heart home didn’t mean that Bruce had to be this relaxed. At least not near Hal of all people. The man could smell weakness a mile away. How in the world had Clark seen that display of juvenile teasing as them being close?

“Hm.” The low hum sounds foreign on Clark’s lips. It’s usually Bruce who communicates in grunts and hums and it feel weird to have the roles reversed. Bruce, of course, doesn’t say nearly as much as Clark usually does. He doesn’t keep the conversation going. Bruce sits in silence.

“I don’t think you should let him touch you like that,” Clark finally says. He isn’t looking at Bruce’s face but instead focusing on his hair. Bruce, even with his limited knowledge, doesn’t think he’s supposed to spend this long coating the hair with conditioner. He doesn’t comment on it though. It seems like the physical distraction is the only thing making Clark talk.

“Like what?” he asks. Hal had patted his head, rather harshly even. There’d been nothing malicious about it, but it wasn’t exactly gentle either. Nowhere near how Clark handles his hair. Or him, for that matter.

“So- so intimately,” Clark mutters as he finally turns the faucet on and starts rinsing Bruce’s hair. He’s still avoiding eye contact. It’s not easy trying to catch Clark’s eyes from the position he’s in, but that doesn’t stop Bruce from trying. Clark is always easier to read when he can look him in the eyes.

“You touch my hair all the time, Clark,” Bruce says softly. There’s something itching at the back of his mind, the words at the tip of his tongue. He’s almost got it. The reason Clark is upset, the reason he won’t look at Bruce. It’s an easy word, it’s something he knows himself. There’s just something- something that doesn’t click yet.

“I- yes.” Clark is very focused on the task at hand. Wringing Bruce’s hair carefully before applying more product to his hands.

“Yes?” Bruce prods. One-word answers aren’t helping him much here and while he prides himself on being patient, Clark’s silence is getting to him. He doesn’t usually have to fight like this to hear his voice, his thoughts. It’s disturbing and Bruce feels somewhat off-balance with this dynamic. It’s unsettling.

“Yes,” Clark repeats as he finishes rinsing Bruce’s hair.

Patience wearing dangerously thin Bruce yanks the towel out of Clark’s hands instead of waiting for him to wrap it around his head. He rubs at his head, ignoring the little noise of protest leaving Clark’s mouth. That sentence – the answer at the tip of his tongue has evaporated.

“So, what’s the problem?” he asks harshly. He’s irritated at himself more than anything, but Clark isn’t exactly helping. So what if Hal touched his hair? What does that have to do with Clark? He’s acting like Hal just took his favorite toy and played with it without permission. It’s difficult enough figuring out what’s wrong with Clark when he won’t talk but having a conversation while seated and with drenched hair isn’t making Bruce any less annoyed.

“It’s not the same thing, Bruce,” Clark says as he reaches for the towel. Bruce bats his hands away.

“Of course, it is,” he says. “It’s just-” Oh. Bruce’s hands still, the towel still on his head. It’s not the same thing at all. It’s Clark’s favorite toy. It’s Clark’s. Oh, how blinded are you allowed to be by your own emotions? Bruce thinks he might have found the limit. That little word is back on his tongue and this time he can actually feel its weight. “It’s not.”

Clark doesn’t say anything.

“It’s not the same, is it, Clark?” Bruce asks carefully. This time he’s grateful that he’s still seated, because Clark’s eyes are turned towards the floor and it’s the only reason, he’s able to catch them with his own. Blue meets blue and neither look away. Bruce feels little silly peeking out from underneath the towel, but he’ll take feeling silly over not being able to look at Clark.

“That’s not really for me to say,” Clark says, voice soft. At least he doesn’t look away, even if he is trying to backtrack his own words. Bruce can’t have that.

“But it is for you to say that I shouldn’t let Hal touch me?” he asks. Challenges, really. Clark is easily as stubborn as Bruce is, so he knows poking at him will shake him out of his own head. Sure enough, Clark straightens a bit and frowns at Bruce’s words.

“Just your- your hair,” he says. Clark is an honest man, he’d never back down from any conversation if it was important, much less lie his way through it. Which is what Bruce counts on when he speaks next.

“Just my hair?”

“That’s-” Clark stalls. Swallows. It’s clear that he knows he’s messed up somewhere. How he hasn’t realized before now is a mystery Bruce will have to look further into, but for now he just leans forward so Clark can’t look away from his face.

“Yours?” Bruce supplies with a small smile. He’s not trying to bully Clark here, but there is something to be said about making the world’s strongest man blush and stumble over his own words. It’s a little intoxicating knowing he holds that kind of power over Clark.

“I don’t-”

“It’s okay,” Bruce is quick to reassure. “If that’s how you feel.”

“It is?” Clark’s obviously taken aback.

It makes Bruce’s chest tighten and he knows he has to make sure Clark understands; make sure he doesn’t doubt himself anymore. The word he was looking for earlier is too familiar to him, he knows how much jealousy can alter one’s perception. He doesn’t want Clark to misinterpret anything between them. The words feel heavy on his tongue, but he pushes them out, nonetheless.

“I won’t want anyone else’s hands on me.”

There’s a beat of silence but Bruce maintains eye contact. Clark looks like he’s searching Bruce’s eyes for something, some kind of answer to a question he hasn’t asked. Bruce lets him look, lets him search for as long as he needs.

“You don’t.” It’s not really a question, not the way Clark says it, but Bruce decides to answer him anyway.

“I don’t.” He puts as much conviction into the word as he can.

“Why?” Clark’s voice is soft like he’s afraid of the answer. Bruce is just as afraid to say it out loud, but it’s now or never. He can tell.

“I only want you,” he says.

“To-” Clark starts.

“Not ‘to’ anything,” Bruce interrupts. “I only want you.”

Bruce should’ve seen it coming, what with him spilling his guts someplace as romantic as the locker room in the Watchtower – he really should’ve thought this through – but somehow, he still jumps when Clark’s hand touches his cheek. It slides down to his jaw, cradling it like Bruce is something precious, something to be careful with. Clark always treats him gently, oh so gently. Which is why he’s not surprised that’s how he kisses him too.

It's fleeting, a brush of their lips. Soft and sweet and everything Bruce would expect of a first kiss from Clark. They’re not fifteen though and Bruce has spent more than enough time longing for more of Clark than he thought he’d ever be able to have. So sue him for being a little impatient. He grabs onto Clark’s collar and pulls him closer, swallowing the surprised noise he emits. The hand on Bruce’s jaw tightens slightly, but only enough for Clark to tilt his head, sucking at Bruce’s bottom lip.

The towel falls to the floor as Bruce tilts his head up, grip tightening in Clark’s collar. He tastes of coffee, too sweet for Bruce’s usual taste but if he could have it like this… he’d enjoy Clark’s dash of cream and seven sugars any day. He’s sure he’ll never have enough of this.

Superman or not, the folded position can’t be very good for Clark’s back, so Bruce finally lets go of his collar. Clark straightens, but only just enough to get a grip on Bruce’s arms and pull him up too.

“Does this mean you’ll keep letting me do your hair from now on?”

“Clark, sweetheart,” Bruce laughs, the pet name slipping out without him meaning to. “I’ll let you do me from now on. Pretty sure my hair’s included.”

“You’ll have to explain that to Adrienne,” Clark teases.

“I’m sure she’ll manage without me,” Bruce says as he rolls his eyes. He’s certain Adrienne will do nothing more than tell him it’s about time he found a stepdad for all of those kids. Bruce won’t think too hard about that comment; mostly because he thinks it’s still a bit early calling Clark anyone’s stepdad. Then again…  

Clark’s smile is so bright it looks like his face is glowing but for once Bruce doesn’t want to shield his eyes. He just wants to bask in Clark’s happiness. He can do that now, he’s allowed. Clark is all his.

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Get to know me :) In a very detailed manner and all of this totally unnecessary and unneeded

(I found these random questions/"get to know me" thingies from Pinterest and left out a few things) I just wanted to do this because I'm hella bored and definitely shouldn't be studying

Definitely not

First name: Guess 📚

Middle name: Maria

Nickname: My friends call me Grandma, Gran and gran-gran.

Age: 16 soon seventeen omg

Height: 165.5 cm

Birthday: 31 of July

Zodiac sign: I'm a Leo ♌

Sexuality: Pan 🍳

Fave color: light pink, light purple and dark green

Fave animal/s: dogs and cats, foxes. Red pandas are cool too and reindeers. Oh oh and turtles

Pets: three dogs and four cats (in two different places tho)

Shoe size: 38-39 EU

Hair color: dark red

How long is your hair: down to my shoulders

Eye color: blue green brown ish something I really don't know, they're weird. They like often change colors weirdly idk what's up with them. So, I usually stick with saying they're green

Do you have glasses: I do 🤓

Any siblings: half big sister and half big brother, so technically one right?

Where are you from: That there is a mystery 🌎, unless you're fucking Sherlock, or another fictional detective, or a stalker

Last dream: A nightmare of my grandma trying to kill our whole family

Fave book/s: One of the harry potters and heart stoppers. Also I love this Norse mythology book I have

Last book you bought: Loki: where the mischief lies

Favorite hobby/hobbies: writing and crochet 🧶. Also I really like DND 🎲

Favorite game: Sims 4

Fave song/s: We made it - Louis Tomlinson, Hated - YOUNGBLUD, Call your mom - Noah Kahan and Boy in the bubble - Alec Benjamin (I'm sorry I couldn't pick just one)

Favorite artist/s: Louis Tomlinson (he's mainly on my play list) and I also like Harry styles

Last song you listened to: Family line - Conan Gray

Fave movie: Harry Potter Goblet of fire, I don't really watch movies 🎥

Religion: I'm a Christian, like I belong in the church but I don't really believe into anything, but I respect everyone who does <3

Have you been to the hospital: A lot when I was a child, last time was because of my knees

Ever gotten in trouble with the law: Nope

Met any celebrities: I've met a few YouTubers, does that count?

Baths or showers: Showers. Definitely showers 🚿

What color socks are you wearing: white with light purple stripes at the top

Would you like to be famous: not really no

How many pillows do you sleep with: Two, well one the other one just is kinda there but it's never under my head, it's to prop the other one up

Do you own stuffed animals: I do 🧸

If you do, how many: Six, can't sleep without one of them (it's a bunny). I lied there's seven

What position do you sleep in: The Superman position, y'know? 🦸‍♂️

What do you eat for breakfast: I don't eat breakfast, sometimes coffee though, coffee with oat milk is the best

Ever tried archery: I actually have, was my hobby for a year or something, spoiler alert; wasn't very good at it 🏹

Ever fired a gun: Nope and won't

Favorite clean word: fluffy, it's nice to say

Favorite curse word: Fuck, I say that way too much someone help me

Longest you've been without sleep: 23 hours

Have any scars: I do, a surgery scar on my knee, one on my upper lip from my teeth going through it, small one in the corner of my eyes, a lot on my knees from falling down as a kid so much, and then some others

Are you a good liar: I think I am

Can you do any accents (besides your own): Not really and I don't have that much of an accent, I think

What is your personality type: from the 16 personalities INFJ-T 🌛

Can you curl your tongue: I can, I can also do the flower thingy

Left or right handed: right handed

Are you scared of spiders: Sort of, I don't mind them as long as they're not near me

Favorite food: lasagna and tortillas

Are you a clean or a messy person: Messy but in an organized way 📦

Most used phrase: "No shit Sherlock" "no wayyy" "just...why?"

Most used word: Probably some curse word... Or "what" "why"

Do you suck or bite lollipops: Bite 😬

Do you talk to yourself: all the freaking time

Do you sing to yourself: I do, everytime I listen to music alone 😶‍🌫️

Are you a good singer: I'd like to say that I am, but I don't actually know

Biggest fear: someone murdering me (during the night with a knife), dislocating my knee, or any other part that can be dislocated (it hurts so fucking much, cannot recommend)

Can you name all the states: Maybe probably, haven't tried

Favorite school subject: Psychology or English 📖

Least favorite school subject: MATH, and chemistry, physics is sorta alright but I don't like the math part

Extrovert or introvert: Introvert

Have you been scuba diving: Nope, probably never will go 🤿 deep waters scare me

What makes you nervous: Literally everything

Are you scared of the dark: not anymore, unless it's outside, sometimes it's scary inside too, but not too often

Do you correct people if they make mistakes: Sometimes but not to be mean to them, but not like minor mistakes, unless I wanna annoy someone

Are you ticklish: Not really 🪶

Have you been in a position of authority: I've been a scout leader for the past three years, can't do it anymore tho, does that count?

Have you ever drank underage: Once because my sister forced me to, A glass of champagne how rebellious of me

Ever done drugs: Nope

Ever smoked anything: Nope x2

How many piercings do you have: I have earrings and snake bites 🐍

How fast can you type: Somewhat fast, I'm faster on my phone than on a computer

Are you a fast learner: Depends on the subject, but usually yes

Can you roll your R's: No I cannot 🐐

Do you keep a journal: Every now and then, I'm not very consistent

Do you like your age: ✨Sweet sixteen✨ It's fine, I don't really care I'd honestly rather be older ⚰️

Do you like your name: I think it's very pretty, I used to hate it tho when I was young (still kinda do, most of the time). It's fine but I just don't like using it with people

How did you get your name: From my mom and dad lol. No it "tells a story" and it suits well for English which my mom wanted, it's somewhat rare here where I live. With the spelling I have

Dream job: I have zero clue 🔎

What was your first job: A week at a daycare. But my first actual job (something I got paid for) was in a coffee shop for a summer

What places have you worked in: In a daycare and a preschool and two summers in that cafe, never going back there it was horrible

Last show you watched: Chicago med 🩺

Last show you finished: What we do in the shadows

Favorite show ever: Big bang theory, Chicago med and 911. Oh, heartstopper :)

What is your earliest memory: Sitting on a dresser and my dad telling me to wait for a bit, or being on my mum's shoulders while she was doing something outside (I'm not sure which one is first)

Happiest memory: Moving away, getting into the school I wanted with good grades

When did you start this blog: May-June 2022

When did you start writing fanfic: January 2022 (Rhe next few ones a writing related because they were in this one list of questions I found)

What was your first fic: Fred Weasley/reader definitely not with a self insert *cough cough.

How do you come up with ideas for writing: They just come up when I try to sleep, or am doing something random, or something happens so I just write it out. I hate brain storming with all my heart because nothing good comes up when I try

What character/s do you enjoy writing the most: Sirius and Remus <3, but lately I've fallen in love with Percy and Oliver and starchaser is always fun to write

What character do you not enjoy writing: Any authoritative figure because it's hard and when there's multiple characters because it's hard to keep track

Is there a fic you regret writing: Not really, I mean I'm embarrassed of some of my writings, but it just shows that I've learned and I can write better now :)

Favorite thing you've written: "When I..." A long fic about a suicide attempt and it was very comforting to write, but then I think I've written a few good hurt/comfort fics. There's like very small bits of the stories that I absolutely love, and loved to write

What do you like to write: Hurt/comfort and just sad things, I feel like I'm good at it. I like descriptive writing too and I've been trying to work on it lately

What don't you like writing: Smut, I feel a little cringe when I write it, and like longer fics, I feel I can't come up with a good enough idea for a one 🤔 Also, I don't have the patience for that

Favorite characters: Sheldon Cooper from the big bang theory. Sirius and Remus obviously, regulus, and then I like the Weasley twins... There's honestly too many that I like. But to mention a few more: Nick, Charlie, the art teacher I can't remember the name of from heart stopper. Loki <3. Will Halsted and Sharon Goodwin are the best characters in Chicago med, fight me.

Do you keep a journal: I have a few pages in the back of my calendar for bullet journaling

One bad habit: self deprecation, I apparently do that too much. Source: my friends

What did you want to be as a child: I really wanted to be a chef or a baker

Who's the last person you held hands with: My friend when dancing, if that doesn't count, then with the same friend at a school Christmas party cause I almost lost them in the hallway 'cause there were a lot of people. Before that, no clue

Are you outgoing or shy: Shy with new people. I'm shyly outgoing lol

Who are you looking forward to seeing: My bestie haven't seen her in over a year

What does your most recent text say: "Alright :)" Another one cause it was around the same time but to a different person. "It's just a little guy"

Do you have trust issues. Oh yeah

Favorite part of your daily routine: Everything cause it always goes the same way. We love structure over here

What do you do when you wake up: Turn off my alarm if it's on, then I go through the notifications on my phone and just lay there doing random things before I gotta get up. Usually reading actually if I have enough time and oh, always listen to a podcast/music

Do you like your neighbors: I don't really know our neighbors 👀 except the ones I dog sit for. Oh at least one of our neighbors thinks I'm creepy. (Literally steered their kids away from me while I was coming from school.)

Is your hair long enough for a ponytail: it is, I just often don't keep it in one. Unless it's dirty or I'm alone and need it to get it out of the way

How many languages can you speak: Two (actually three but I'm really bad at the third one) I picked french for next year tho :)

Can you cook: Yep, I'm quite good at it. I can bake too

Last time you cried: A few days ago because I was feeling like an absolutely horrible human being

How long does it take you to get ready: Like 10 minutes lol ⏱️

Favorite number: 5. Five is the Ultima number, and everything either ends in five or is divisible by five. I've always liked the number five :3

Alright 😮‍💨

That was quite long, Sorry about that, I just like questions :)

If there is something you wanna know for some reason, feel free to ask. Like I said I like questions.

I might write more things here, if I think of something or find something fun

Feel free to use these if you want, I just want to note that most of these I did not make up myself and I don't know who did.

Enjoy this I guess I just got inspired and stopped studying for this, anyone I can blame on my English grade after this 👀

Also there's almost hundred of you following me, that's so weird....

<3

[fireemblems24]

DLC Ch 3

Onto the next part of the DLC.

EXPLORE

So . . . next time they sell a horse killer, I should probably get one, hunh. Because that usually means the Death Knight is back.

So who is the tallest? Dedue, Balthus, Raphael?

Oh God - no,nononono Balthus talking about shifting floors and doors and shit. I forsee some annoying gameplay.

LAMO, they're addressing that Dimitri knows Edelgard's hair color changed. He must think she doesn't remember him because he wasn't important enough, not weird experimentation.

STORY

I find it really funny that someone like Yuri would listen to someone like Aelfric.

Is this supposed to be one single day or is this them all going back over and over? It's got to be one day, or else Hubert and Dedue would've joined, no way they'd let Edelgard and Dimitri go do this without them.

OMG, Byleth can keep saying no, I won't help 🤣 Picking "We're busy. Very busy."

Ohhh it's Dimitri who sused out that Constance has an ulterior motive. And I thought he was supposed to be the dumb one.

LAMO Edelgard doesn't like her useless dad. Me too, Edelgard, me too. So Constance's house got booted because they didn't like when daddy dearest tried to steal all the power for himself?

So Constance has duel personalities, triggered by . . . the sun? Ok, Fire Emblem. Whatever you want. What a weird personality tick. No wonder she lives underground.

Dimitri's like, wow, she's worse than me with having identity issues.

BATTLE/POST BATTLE

Yuri did a crit against an armored knight, bless his heart.

Pretty straight-forward battle.

Balthus MVP. I really had no idea who would be, but that constant brave weapon is always soooo good.

We found a pretty cup!

Linhardt must be having a field day. Makes a lot of sense they picked him for the BE rep. Not only does it give you a healer, but he's Mr. Crests.

LAMO Claude's tweaking Edelgard. Not sure if he doesn't like her, or if he's flirting with her. Or both.

Edelgard is constantly annoyed by Claude though. I mean, I get it, but IDK, I don't think they'd make a good ship. Unless it was like, taking my enemy to bed sort of thing. Like they sleep together, and then try to stab each other.

Wereas Dimiclaude, is Claude teasing Dimitri and Dimitri either blushing like crazy or not getting it and being cute dense or saying something way too honest and sweet back and making Claude blush. IDK I've just always like Claude's two-faced ness getting stunned into silence by Dimitri's heart-on-sleeves act.

And then Edelgard x Dimitri - eh, I like them better as siblings - but if you want drama and angst, nothing is better than an AU where Edelgard remembers Dimitri and knows she'll have to kill him.

Hapi - If that doesn't work, I guess we're dead. LAMO. She's funny.

God, Ashe is just pure cinnamon roll, isn't he? Except for siding with Cornelia. He's like - we can't lead them back to Abyss or people will be in danger!

Byleth is getting way more personality infused options in the DLC. I wonder if they read the criticism? Anyways, I'm picking "there's nothing we can do." It's too funny to keep picking the "wrong" one. This Byleth is such a wimp. I headcannon that he's just wanting an excuse to get back to fishing and had no idea this would take so long, so all of this is just really an excuse.

LAMO, Yuri's mad at me.