#what if a selfish part of her feels angry that shes never had her own space and identity outside of her younger sister

[pnchy]

i need more yang and ruby interactions that isnt just surface level "were sisters and we have each others back" bc as someone whos been raised by my siblings like ruby, i swear theres more to it than that

[vent-stink]

When Seonghwa got mad at y/n

a/n: I'm sorry I've been neglecting you all! Here's my apology angst c/w: angst, hurt/comfort pairings: owner!Seonghwa x cat hybrid!reader, cat hybrid!san x reader w/c: 1.6k

Y/n didn't realize Seonghwa was in a bad mood.

At this point, even though she felt bad, it was routine of him to break up with partners because they didn't like her. He'd come home sad, and y/n would cuddle his sorrows away.

This time was different.

This time, Seonghwa came home with a sad aura, but clenched fists. No, he was frustrated, so frustrated. Why were people so closed minded? Hybrids have been a part of society for so long and even if not everyone cares for their hybrids the same way, the extent of his care had been normalized enough by now, he thought. Yet he hadn't met anyone who could accept it.

Y/n wasn't his girlfriend; he didn't want her to be nor did she want to be. He loves her and takes care of her. Sure, hybrids could be in relationships with their owners or with other people, but that just wasn't their relationship. Why was that so hard to understand?

He wasn't mad at y/n, he could never truly be mad at y/n, but in that moment he was just so frustrated. It was moment of weakness, but he seriously resented her, if only for a minute.

But it was in that minute that she crawled over to him, unapologetic smile adorning her face (because she had nothing to feel bad for, he had made sure to reassure her every time before), as she asked for his attention, hands pawing at his trousers.

"Stop it. Move, y/n." His voice was stern and cold and she felt her hair stand on end. "Daddy? Are you okay-?"

Hearing her voice, her sultry, sweet, beautiful voice, he snapped, "GET OFF, Y/N. GET OFF." She flinched away from him, looking at him a little scared, "D-daddy‐?" "I'M SO TIRED OF THIS, Y/N. YOU'RE ALWAYS- YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE. YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE!"

He was yelling, really yelling. No one had ever spoken to y/n like that before, especially not Seonghwa. Sure, he'd scolded her, but he'd never so much as punished her let alone raised his voice like this.

She trembled as he yelled at her, curled up into a ball as she was frozen in fear, waiting for him to finish. "It's like ever since I adopted you, I haven't been able to think of anything but you. I can't be selfish. I can't enjoy myself or be loved for a single fucking second-"

"HYUNG!" San yelled, coming down to hug y/n and shield her from Seonghwa. She was shaking, tears running down her face as she whimpered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Honestly, Seonghwa had yelled at San like this before, and Y/n was spoiled so he initially had been enjoying her get a little scared. It was only natural for a harsher scolding at least once or twice... but this felt too harsh. San stopped feeling smug very quickly as he came down to comfort their princess.

San's presence snapped Seonghwa out of his rage, allowing him to actually see how y/n was reacting to his anger. He broke his own heart knowing that he made her look like this, trembling with tears falling down her face, terrified noises leaving her. Oh my god, what was I thinking?

"Y/n, I-" he reached out to her but she wailed, running to San's room and slamming the door shut behind her and burying herself in his sheets.

Seonghwa watched her run and then looked at San helplessly, only to be met with San's angry hiss as the feline followed after his mate to cuddle her as she cried.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Seonghwa could still feel his emotions hot in his blood, so he sighed, sitting on his recliner as he waited for his heart to settle.

He didn't realize how badly he had fucked up until he'd gone back to his room. Y/n hadn't come to sleep. She'd always always slept with him in his bed at night. She'd never been able to sleep at night without her owner.

Yet, right now, as he laid awake, waiting for her to crawl into his arms and tuck herself under his chin, it was almost 1am, and his arms were empty.

He hadn't realized how used to her he'd gotten. He felt cold, even with his blanket tucked up to his chin, body crunched into a ball, he felt like his body was trembling. Now he couldn't sleep without her.

Obviously, he couldn't stand to be like this. He got out of his bed and went to San's room, knocking lightly on the door. He thought y/n might be awake. He thought there'd be no way that she could sleep without him.

But there was no answer. "Y/n?" he called softly. Nothing. "San?" A grunt.

Seonghwa opened the door a peek and first saw San's piercing glare. It wasn't the first time he'd been on the receiving end of it, San got pissy with him all the time, but this was the first time it was over someone else. The next thing he saw was his little kitten wrapped in his big kitten's arms, head tucked into his chest as her chest raised and fell in a steady rhythm.

She was asleep.

"She cried until she was so exhausted she couldn't stay awake anymore," San said quietly to not wake her up. Seonghwa felt his heart lurch harder than it ever had before. "I'm not giving her to you, if that's what you're here for."

"No... I don't want to wake her," Seonghwa whispered, "I just can't... I couldn't sleep." San didn't reply. He wasn't in the mood to give Seonghwa consoling words. He'd used them all on y/n already.

Both of his hybrids were upset at him, rightfully so. He sighed, sitting in San's chair that faced the bed. San eyed him before letting out a sigh and cuddling farther into y/n to sleep.

Seonghwa just watched them until he felt his eyes droop and sleep overtook him.

He woke up to a sniffle. It started him awake. The first heartbreaking thing he saw was y/n's face scrunched up in a sob, fresh tears falling down her face.

"Y/n-ah," he croaked, not even letting himself fully wake up before he was on his knees in front of her, "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean it! I..."

"I- I'm sorry... I made daddy's life so hard. You haven't been able to be happy since I'm here-" "NO!" he exclaimed loudly, making San jolt awake, but the big cat went ignored, "I didn't mean it. Daddy was just upset. I was just sad, I didn't mean to say those things. I didn't mean a single word."

She didn't believe him and Seonghwa could tell as she covered her face, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry they don't like me. You never should have brought me here. I'm so terrible."

"Y/nnie, please," he choked, "I'm so sorry baby. I was feeling sad because my partner left me... but I don't need anyone. I only need you and Sannie, my love. I- Everyday, you make me feel so loved, more loved than I have ever felt from even my own mother..."

Y/n sniffed, looking at him properly, but wearily.

"I didn't mean a single thing I said. It was all in anger. Like- like when Sannie says he's mad at you and won't share his clothes, but he still shares them anyway...," he reasoned desperately.

"You should send me away...," she cried quietly. Seonghwa finally broke completely, letting out a sob, bowing his face to the ground, "You are my most important girl in the world, y/n-ah." His voice was cracking and his pain was agonizing, extremely evident from his voice, "No one loves me more than you, and I can't live without you. I can't sleep without you in my arms. Even if you wanted to leave me, I am the one that's selfish. I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go. I want you to get so mad at me for yelling at you. I'll make it up to you forever. I'll buy you so many gifts and treats. I just- I need you to know that I love you so much."

She sniffed, getting out of the bed to kneel in front of him as well. When he heard her change positions, Seonghwa looked up to see her looking at him with teary eyes. A wail escaped her throat as she slipped herself into his arms, sobbing into the fabric of his t-shirt.

His arms wrapped around her so tight she would have suffocated if she was thinking about it. He wasn't loud, but his tears slipped down his face and onto her hair, "No one matters to me more than you. You're my baby. My sweet, y/nnie. I'm sorry, I got upset, but I won't do it again." "I th-thought you d-didn-n't want m-me, any-nymore!" she hiccupped between sobs.

"No my princess. Even if I'm only with you for the rest of my life and everyone else leaves, I'll be happy." San wanted to protest, but he didn't because he was too tired and because he knew y/n needed reassurance more than he needed to reaffirm his existence in the house. She was soft. He'd live.

"I'm sorry, daddy," she whimpered. Seonghwa pulled away to cup her face and press soft kisses all over her face. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I meant it when I told you that you and San are a part of me. No one is more important than us. We're a family, okay? You're my family."

Y/n sniffed and hugged him so tight, nodding into his chest. "You promise?" "Mhmm," Seonghwa hummed, "I'll never let you think otherwise again. Even if daddy gets mad at you again, I promise I will never make you think for a second that you belong anywhere else, but here with me."

[writing-fanics]

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

[Before Lucifer got cast out of Heaven]

[prompt by: @saturncodedstarlette

[warning: self-harm: major angst: blood: mentions of panic attack]

You were angry and heartbroken, and felt betrayed by someone you thought to be yoursoulmate. Feeling used by them, having just found out that Lucifer and Lilith are together.

You stormed over to Lucifer outside the gates of the garden, hands balled up into a fist. “You lied to me!” You shouted angrily, and he turned to look at you.

Lucifer who you thought to be your soulmate, a red string tying the two of you together. Your face red and tears rubbing down your cheeks, “You told me that I am your soulmate!” You screamed, and he just stated at you almost annoyed that you were, taking his time away from being with Lilith

You guarded the gates of Eden, and Lucifer flirted with you and toyed with you just so he could see Lilith. “Just get back to that other woman!” You were angry fuming and felt used.

He just stared at you arms folded across his chest, as he raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Don’t you understand? You’re the other woman.” said Lucifer, looking at you.

You shook your head vigorously, your frustration apparent. "No no!" you exclaimed, your voice rising in anger. "You're supposed to be with me!" You pointed in the direction of the garden, your true form as a seraphim revealing itself with multiple eyes on your head and wings.

Your figure seemed to grow in size and stature, towering over him and filling the space around you with an awe-inspiring presence.“She’s the other woman!” you shouted, glaring at him.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and saw Lilith in the distance. She had heard the commotion and was walking closer to the gate. "Why can't you understand?" he said, looking down at the ground and clenching his fists. He glanced over at her for a moment.

“It was a mistake, I would never be with you—” He said, Your entire body froze in shock, and you stood there motionless with your arms falling limply to your side. Your lips slightly parted, forming an 'O' shape as you struggled to comprehend what he had just said.

As soon as the words left his mouth, you could see the regret in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to reach out towards you, but then suddenly pulled his hand back and turned away. He entered the garden and walked away with Lilith, leaving you alone.

You couldn't help but fall to your knees, gripping your chest where your heart is. It hurt so much - not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain of being betrayed. You had broken the rules to let him into the garden, thinking that he cared for you. But this is how he repays you - by ripping out your heart and leaving you to suffer.

The words seemed to rip your heart out of your chest, leaving you feeling completely devastated. As tears began to trickle down your cheeks, you couldn't help but sniffle and sob softly. Your lower lip quivered as you looked at him, trying to make sense of the situation and find a way to process the overwhelming emotions coursing through you.

He used you. He fucking used you just so he could be with Lilith, he toyed with your emotions your feelings and your desires. To get what he wanted in the end. You saw a future and hoped he'd be there to fill that empty spot, in your immortal life. Be he saw as nothing but a obstacle, for his true goal. Lilith.

Your angelic weapon dug into your flesh drawing yellow blood. As you tried to carve the L off of your hand, the inital of your soulmate. That was on your hand when you were first made by angels. Your very own soulmate wanted nothing g to do with you, he never wanted to be with you. Only wanted to use you for his own selfish needs.

Your wound would just heal and the initial stayed, as much as you tried to dig it out. Nothing, it would appear again and again. You screams and cries of frustration being heard by Lucifer and Lilith, but he did nothing just sat there with his lover underneath the tree.

You wailed, staring yo at the sky and sobbing. Yellow blood seeping from the gash in your hand, you couldn't breathe unable to take a full breath. All you wanted was for Lucifer to comfort you, but he didn't. Your vision started to blur as you breathed heavily, gripping the fabric of your clothes.

“I would never be with you”

“I would never be with you”

You whimpered, curled up on yourself, and cried. You didn't know how long you were there for and eventually passed out. When you opened your eyes, you saw a bracelet that you had given to Lucifer a while ago. You stared at it blankly for a moment, not noticing someone approaching you from behind. Suddenly, you felt cold and shivered.

As you turned around, you heard a giggle coming from behind you. Suddenly, the grass around you withered and died, and an ominous presence leaned over you. "Has that little dreamer shattered your heart?" the voice asked as you looked up to see the personification of evil itself - your sister, Roo. She had a Glasgow smile on her face as she stared down at you.

[alienwithaguitar]

Shelby said a lot during her stream, teetering from honorable to downright strange, and I want to address some of the issues. Before I say anything, I am still supportive of Shelby’s story, but this stream revealed a lot to me. I especially push Shelby supporters to read this, as this stream pushed MANY people I know to a neutral stance.

Shelby claimed having a depressive disorder just involved "feeling depressed", which is a harmful misconception that minimizes our struggles. Depression is more than feeling sad, and is categorized as being "different from regular mood changes and feelings about everyday life." It can involve constant hopelessness, angry outbursts, loss of motivation in most activities, and can lead to fluctuating weights, suicidal ideations, and self-sabotaging. To say "we all feel a little depressed sometimes" is to dismiss the lifelong struggles people with depression go through.

Shelby also implies that people with mental illness cannot change, and that recovery is not possible if your depression has hurt others. Not only is that an incredibly harmful idea to spread, it's blatantly incorrect. Just as habits and thoughts are trained throughout your life, they can also be untrained. There is genuine psychological basis in this, and to say that recovery is impossible is scientifically false. Personalities shift our entire lives, and changes in our physical and mental environments help us train new habits. This is part of the reason we try forming better schedules in new environments, and why a consistently stressful environment can bloom negative habits.

People don't chose to have mental illness, and if you're never taught to handle it, it can be extremely easy to hurt others. The most powerful tool to recovery is believing you can be better, and Shelby telling people to not even try is just enabling self-destructive people to hurt others for the rest of their lives. Change is a long process, but it's absolutely possible- Something as simple as a disruption in your life, a wake up call, and a drive to be a better person are the first steps to kickstarting change.

Shelby’s claims are very strange considering the rest of the stream. Earlier, she went on a rant about content creator’s influence on teenagers. She acknowledged teenagers are impressionable, and that it’s important to take care of those looking up to you. She recognized her fanbase was mainly teenagers, many of whom struggle from mental illness. It feels backwards to emphasize being a good role model before telling thousands of kids that their mental illness makes them a bad person. Her statement was about treating people with kindness no matter what, but she couldn’t keep that energy for people with depression.

Shelby herself was able to find help in therapy, so to deny that others should seek help feels selfish. She also confirmed on stream that she's seen the informative resources people sent her, and that she has ignored them. I can excuse the stereotyping if she's willing to be educated, but she's made it clear she believes she’s right. This is one thing I cannot defend, and I can't forgive her for slandering myself and thousands of struggling teens’ progress to their faces.

One final thing Shelby mentioned was that we should wait for evidence, and it's alright to feel doubtful. I want to revisit her statement with the current evidence we have, that I will take with a grain of salt by her own request. With the proof we have, nothing that Shelby claims comes across as abusive outside of the biting.

Shelby said she would get locked in his house at times. UK houses need a key to unlock the inside, and Wilbur likely only had one. While at his house, Shelby had access to her phone, and there were ways she could communicate with him or call for help if this was a problem. We have no evidence to claim that he trapped her. Shelby also stated her family never met Wilbur, because she had to travel to meet him. It wouldn't be unreasonable to stay in his house for an extended amount of time, and that was entirely her choice. She certainly might have felt neglected, but to claim that it was entrapment is baseless.

Wilbur was also busy with tours, absent nearly 200 days of the year. Feeling lonely makes sense, but raising that as abusive and holding it against him is ridiculous. As a famous musician, Wilbur has obligations that he legally can't drop. This was something she needed to be aware of when pursuing a relationship with him. She's allowed to wish things were different, but genuinely expecting him to abandon his lifelong passion is more than a little strange. This doesn't detract from her feelings, but to hold his legal obligations over his head when she should’ve known he'd be busy is unreasonable.

Shelby has also made a point of publicly shaming his hygiene. The inability to care for yourself and your space is a common symptom of depression. It was kind of her to clean, but her words imply she thinks he's just lazy. She explicitly notes that Wilbur didn’t expect her to clean, but that he waited for her to clean. This is weird to specify, as people with depression typically don't make plans to clean for long periods of time. She likely just assumed his inaction was a sign for her to do it, rather than something he struggled with and had no plans to do anyway. I don't think she was right for shaming his depressive habits, and I don't think he was right for dismissing her help. However, the comments he made about her cleaning very strongly imply that he never had plans to clean either way. This just reads as a choice to help out, not expectation or pressure.

Based on the evidence we have now, the points Shelby made just come across as her dating a mentally ill man and not being prepared for the challenges that come with that. Her family never met him, and he was very busy, so there wasn’t much outside opinion she could get. It's reasonable for her to feel neglected, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was intentional harm. It's important for both parties to get help, to communicate what happened and talk about their feelings. Wilbur stated he was committed to talking with her and addressing her concerns, while Shelby blocked him and refused to communicate, despite telling him she wanted to remain friends. All she's done since is reject his apology (even though he made a statement, not an apology, for legal reasons) and ignore his requests to speak. This avoidance to communicate is likely why the lines of consent and expectation were blurred in their relationship, as they've both expressed an inability to communicate.

This was not written to discredit Shelby's experience, I do believe she has trauma. However, you can absolutely be traumatized by relationships that weren't necessarily abusive. I've experienced years of PTSD from completely fabricated nightmares, and have trauma from repeated hallucinations of my ex. She’s not lying about her feelings- But between the contradictions, refusing to talk with Wilbur about an apology, and the insistence to "communicate” despite the fact that she blocked him, I can't support Shelby's actions.

I will always fight to uplift victims, and I am sympathetic of her story, but I can't defend someone who makes no effort to communicate or educate herself before speaking. Until either of them presents something that is beyond "he said, she said" I will remain neutral. I think they both deserve a chance to change and talk about this privately, and I will be waiting for a better response in the mean time. There was clearly miscommunication, and this was brought to us prematurely (shown by her contradicting statements.) I urge you all to look at the evidence and hopefully come to a similar conclusion. You can feel for someone's experiences and sympathize with their mental state without endorsing them. Stay safe, be kind, and don't jump to any conclusions. 🤍

[lassieposting]

Concept:

Post-tadpole, Tav offers to help Astarion find a way to walk in the sun again, and she starts by going to different libraries and repositories and archives around the city to look for books that might be relevant. Astarion, obviously, has to stay in the rental room with the shutters closed during the daytime, so he can't come with her.

At some point, this takes her up to the posh part of the city, where the fancy ✨ scholarly ✨ archive is. She remembers most of the walk - it's not too far from the graveyard Astarion took her to, in the neighbourhood where he once used to live.

And like, it's never actually occurred to her that he could still have Actual Blood Relatives still living? It's not a topic she's ever thought to raise with him. But she has to sign in and out of the archive, and she just happens to notice the name three or four lines above hers: an initial and a surname she recognises.

Ancunín.

The same name from Astarion's gravestone.

A parent? A sibling?

A niece or nephew Astarion has never even met?

Thus begins a secondary quest of trying to reunite a broken family. Astarion is willing enough to talk about the few memories he still has of the thirty-nine years he had with his family before turning - a drop in the ocean compared to the 200 years spent suffering under Cazador - but he shuts down when she nudges him towards the likelihood that Mr & Mrs Ancunín are still alive. He retreats back behind the selfish, catty survivalist he was when she first met him and claims he has no interest in ever reconnecting. The pain in every clipped syllable says drop it, so she does.

But then he asks her, very quietly, several days later, what the initial was. He doesn't really react when she tells him - there's no obvious recognition, and he doesn't ask any follow-up questions or try to discuss it further. He just goes back to his book. She watches him out of the corner of her eye though, as she skim-reads her own giant tome of magical artifacts. A very long time goes by before she sees him turn a page.

For a good long while, the family issue gets put firmly on the back burner. They have other shit going on. Sometimes, it's following promising leads on a possible workaround for Astarion's sunlight allergy. Other times, it's the kind of ugly, ragged-edged breakdown that so often follows a period of relative safety and stability after a major trauma. He's been running in survival mode for two centuries, and now he's finally starting to feel secure enough for the rest of his mind to come back online, and all the trauma he couldn't handle at the time, all the pain and fear and tangled emotions survival mode was protecting him from, is catching up to him. During those sporadic episodes, trying to keep him from falling apart is her top priority and, well, time gets away from them and by the time he brings up his parents again, months or more have gone by, and they have a fairly good idea of what artifact of daywalking they need to find.

By the time it comes to actually meeting with them, still more months have passed, and they have already found it.

It's horrible, and heartwarming, and heartbreaking, and healing, and hurting, and so many other conflicting things that for a while - a long while - Tav doesn't know whether she actually did the right thing encouraging him to reach out to long-lost loved ones. It's a mess of moments that makes her heart ache for a dozen reasons. She finds out that Astarion looks most like his mother, but has his father's nose. She holds him for hours while he shakes and sobs into her shoulder because they never even left the city, they were here the whole time, and they never found him - and he's so angry and full of grief he doesn't know what to do with himself. She accompanies him to the home he was raised in, and the once-familiar surroundings jog memories he thought lost for good - he's glassy-eyed, recounting them to her, but she's fairly sure it's the good kind of glassy-eyed, so she doesn't mention it. She tries to make conversation at family dinner while he stares at his hands in his lap, dissociated, looking even more uncomfortable than she feels, utterly lost in a world that once fit him like a glove. There are a lot of feelings to try and mediate. They are all hurt, all damaged, all afraid, all looking for the ghost of a loved one in the face of a stranger.

But, eventually, there is a day where she overhears Astarion having a conversation with his father, and he sounds like himself - not the persona he puts on in public - and his father laughs at something he says in a way that's entertained rather than awkward. There is a day where his mother reaches out and he doesn't shake his head or step away - he lets her hug him goodbye. They have not slipped back into the graves they crawled out of in each other's lives - they are all very different people now - but they are learning new ways to fit together, and he seems to be pleased about it.

So she thinks, yeah, it was worth it.

[masivechaos]

only you, only us!

── ☆ remus lupin x fem! reader

── ☆ Request: yes / no

── ☆ Synopsis: Remus is in love you with you, but how could you ever feel the same when Sirius exist? He's so perfect and Remus can't help but feel jealous.

── ☆ Warning/content: mention of parties, drinking, kinda making out, my English

── ☆ a.n.: 1.8k words-

masterlist/ marauders masterlist / navigation / taglist 

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──

Remus watched as you laughed, he would be smiling if you weren’t laughing with Sirius. Sirius, his best friend on whom he had placed all his trust and told all his insecurities. He had to admit he felt quite betrayed.

He took a long sip of his drink, passing his tongue on his top teeth “Everything’s alright mate?” James said as he came by his side, his eyes following Remus’ stare “Ohh, Y/n, huh?”

Remus groaned “Of course Y/n. But of course, Sirius has to flirt with her” To forget the idea he took another drink. James let out a chuckle, not daring answer to his friend. When Remus was like this talking to him was like talking to a wall. The werewolf settled further on the couch, pouty lips against his glass. “Fuck him,” he groaned. 

“Hey… You don’t think you’re going a little hard on him?” James had to defend the person he considered his brother. “He doesn’t seem to flirt with her. Knowing him, he’d probably be snogging her right now if he liked her.”

Remus knew he was right but he was still angry. “Look at her. She likes him.” James knew it wasn’t true, you told him your crush on Remus but you'd asked him to keep it to himself, he was a good friend and couldn’t betray your trust.

“How do you know?”

“She is looking up at him, biting her lip and laughing at something probably stupid” The full moon wasn’t far which made Remus… mean.

James rolled his eyes “C’mon, that’s maybe the time to make a move, don’t you think?” Remus didn’t answer anything, too stubborn to admit his friend was right. “Moony! You can’t be mad at her for ignoring something you never told her”

Remus rolled his eyes. James was so right and Remus hated it. He was never confident enough to make a move on you, you were too perfect, too pretty, too kind for him. But keeping his love for you silent meant he had to border on the idea of seeing you with someone. And somehow, the possibility that it could be his best friend hurt even more.

Sirius always had everything Remus fancied. Girls, a pretty face, a charmful smile and people who wished they were him. No one wished they were Remus. Then again, why would they? Who would want to be a werewolf with scars and eyebags who’d rather read than going out to party like this one?

He couldn’t help it but be jealous of Sirius, even as his best friend it was hard not to feel this way. Remus let out a long breath, the party was shitty enough he didn’t need his own mind to make it worse. 

When he looked around him, James was gone and after taking a quick look at the crowd he found him talking to you. His eyebrows furrowed, he didn’t want James to get involved. Maybe it was the best way to get you and him together but he felt even more weak, a selfish part of him didn’t want help. He knew damn well it was stupid since he wasn’t brave enough to do anything. He got up, he couldn’t handle the sight of you anymore. 

:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

“Y/n,” James called. You turned your head and a smile found your lips.

“James!” You opened your arms to pull him into a quick hug. “What’s up?”

The boy cleared his throat “I have a friend-”

“Woah, who would have thought?”

He shot you a glare “- who need helps”

“Who?” you said, taking a sip of your drink.

“Er… Remus” Your body froze at the name “He’s a little mad and it maybe has to do with you talking to Sirius”

You were a little confused. James knew you fancied the lycanthrope but he never told you the love was mutual. “Do you mean he’s jealous?” You didn’t like the idea of Remus being upset but you couldn’t help the part of you that felt pleased he might fancy you too.

James only grinned as an answer and you understood. Without even thinking, you turned to the sofa but found it empty. Your legs started to run the castle on their own, you finally found him, sat against a tree in one of the courtyards.

“Remus?”

The boy lifted his head, he looked angry and you didn’t like it. You wished you could just kiss his frown away. “Y/n.”

His tone wasn’t welcoming but you decided to settle by his side “What’s going on in this head of yours?” you were smiling but internally you just wanted him to stop being irritated, you wanted him to smile.

“Nothing.” The silence that followed was long “You were having fun with your boyfriend?” you heard the disapproval in his voice.

Your eyes widened “My boyfriend?” you echoed.

“Yeah. Sirius.” Remus was avoiding your eyes, his knees were pressed against his chest.

James made you understand Remus was jealous but to witness it was like an electroshock, the boy hid his feelings well, you were so surprised.

“I don’t like Sirius” you wanted your words to comfort him.

Remus rolled his eyes “Yeah, sure” he mocked. He didn’t believe you. Sirius was everything a girl could want, right?

You frowned, habitually Remus always believed you and it hurt to have lost his trust. “Why do you think I’m lying?” you sounded a little saddened.

“I saw you with him. You’re talking with him more and more, hanging out with him more and more. Just say it to me,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I- I’m not with him…,” his anger that once amused you was making you a tad sad now. “We’re just friends! I- I just talk with him because we understand each other-”

“Understand each other?” he quoted, a scoff leaving his lips out of disbelief.

Now you were truly hurt. He was so blunt, he normally never was like this with you. “Yes!” you started to get angry too “We both have shitty families! We understand each other! Next to each other, we can finally find the comfort we both craved as children!”

Remus looked down, ashamed. He felt guilty for letting his anger win him and hurt you in the process. He hated this part of him that still wasn’t sure. He kept his mouth shut, he had done enough stupid things for tonight.

“You still don’t believe me?” Remus heard how offended you sounded. “You want me to show you I don’t like him?” your tone had changed to a more… soft one? 

Remus heard you move next to him but he didn’t dare look at you, staring in front of him. Unfortunately, even like this, somehow, your face ended up in front of his. He wanted to back up but the bark behind him was already digging in his back. Your lips tugged into a large grin “Why are so grumpy? Why don’t you believe me?” you asked softly, almost pleading.

“Because it’s obvious you like him.”

You sighed “I don’t.”

“Why wouldn’t you like him? He’s handsome and charming and popular and-”

“And what if I like you?” you smirked.

Remus lifted an eyebrow and let out a tsk. He shook his head, it wasn’t possible, he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t even understand why you’d like him. “No you don’t. I’m not the type of boy you want to date. I’m not handsome and I’m not nice and-” you cut him off by crashing your lips on his. Remus’ eyes widened in surprise, his heart beating in his ears. He didn’t move, his mind processing what you just did.

You pulled away and grinned “Still don’t believe me?”

“I…” he started, “I…”

You waited patiently “You…?”

“Fuck,” Remus mumbled before he pressed his lips to yours. You chuckled, your hand cradling his cheek, your thumb softly stroking his freckled skin. You leaned into him, your chest flushed against him while he pressed himself closer to you until you were laying on the cold midnight grass. His hands wrapped around your wrists, pinning them to the ground. You let out a small whimper at the roughness due to the close full moon and the built up jealousy.

Remus pulled away, his breath heavy “Merlin..” he cursed, releasing your arms “I… You’re gorgeous, you know that?” he smiled, his cheeks a light shade of pink. 

You let out a short chuckle “Yeah”

Remus laughed at your sass “Cheeky,” he said before he pressed his lips to your cheek, he let his mouth linger on your skin, “I like it.”

You looked up at him with shiny eyes from the excitement and the two or three drinks you got this night “Do you believe me now?”

“Mmmh,” he had an amused smile playing on his lips. “I need one more kiss to be sure,” he said as his lips trailed down until they found yours. You offered him a short kiss. “Hey now, that wasn’t enough”

You laughed and offered him a longer kiss, letting your lips parted so he could slip his tongue into your mouth. Remus let out a soft groan, pressing his body against yours.

When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours “I think I believe you now.”

“Good,” you whispered, breathless. Your fingers got tangled in his hair, your voice a little more serious now “Why do you doubt yourself so much?”

Remus looked away and shifted, he rested his head on his chest “It’s hard to believe you’d like someone like me. You’re so perfect and I’m so me.”

“You’re so incredible,” you whispered, your lips locked against his temple “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re caring and sweet and kind and handsome. Very handsome.”

“Am I?” Remus smiled.

“Oh yeah. I like everything about you. Even when you are grumpy,” you said. Your nails scratched his scalp “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I have no interest in Sirius, only you, Remus. Only you.”

Remus’ smile widened “Only me,” he repeated, tasting the words on his tongue. He pressed his lips to your neck briefly “I’m sorry I got mad,” he said after a moment of silence.

You sighed “It’s alright. You have nothing to be sorry for,” you whispered in his ear.

Remus closed his eyes and breathed in your skin “Can I say I love you or it’s too soon?”

“You can say it,” you muttered, your heart beating faster and heat creeping to your neck.

“I love you,” he whispered against your neck, his lips tickling your soft skin. You stayed silent for a while, a huge smile on your face.

“Merlin, I love you too.”

He shifted, rolling to his side to look at you “So… it’s only us right now, isn’t it?”

“Only us,” you assured, kissing his lips softly.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──

⋆ ★ remus lupin taglist: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @cauliflowertree @madison-rebel @moonlitmeeks  @rhydianissuperior @loveeharrington @mad-elia @jackys-stuff-blog @elenatries2write @princess-paramour @juneberrie @f4iry-blush @gilmore-angel @heartfucks @sparklenarniawizard @songs4themoon @moondemon123 @mystic-writings @siriusblackstwin @natashxromanovf @violetteshoneybee @unadulterated-syd @goodoldfashionedluvergirl @garfieldsladybird @kidcuisinesvcks @percy-the-hufflepuff @fairydxll @spookydarkwitch @innerloverpainter @vancitycharlie @nyxxxxxxxx @venussflytraps @diorgirl444 @oncasette @locke-writes @dori-and-gray @itsarajr @maddipoof @starconfettii @widowbf @starlit-epiphany @rosalyn-s @etanordiesbullshit @sageskisses444 @luvmarsbars @jsjcue @mellozhi @lovings4turn

[musashi]

ace attorney popped the fuck off by doing that thing where certain characters have ‘hidden’ sprites that you only see once in the whole game, usually it’s an emotionally closed off character offering a smile in the final hour of their story to show a sense of peace and closure, but ESPECIALLY they popped the fuck OFF by having franziska von karma break down crying in hers.

‘the angry/mean character is actually deeply emotional and using anger to keep it at bay’ is an incredibly common character archetype but it is so often done in a more shallow manner. like they will just bust out their tragic backstory in the 11th hour and we’re supposed to sympathize because awww they’re sad :( but we already know everything there is to know about franziska pretty much immediately. we know she is a child prodigy, we know she is a genius, we know she is fierce and dedicated and that she loves what she does. and we know she’s lost her father, and we know she’s upset with her brother and wants to see him again. but she does not invite pity, because she does not want it. she lays these details out clearly and concisely when they’re relevant to what is being discussed--they simply are. she remains as she is, and she fights the same way she always has, for what she believes in.

franziska goes through it. we watch her go through it. we watch her lose everything, and then we watch her have to be confronted with the fact that her brother disappeared on her and is utterly remorseless about it aloud. and then we watch her get shot by a violent hitman, and kick and scream and fight while she’s bleeding out because she wants to go to court. she has to be dragged to the hospital by force. never once does she back down an never once does she present anything other than this steely determination and resolve. until the very, VERY end. until POST CREDITS. she doesn’t even crack until AFTER THE CREDITS HAVE ROLLED!

and it is KINDNESS that breaks her! it is softness that makes her cry. i feel like to a lot of people what miles says to her in that scene might seem cruel, but it isn’t about what he says, it’s about what he does.

by franziska’s own admission she has abandonment issues. one of the few single insights we get into her pain is that people tend to discard her and make her feel left behind. miles fled back to his home country and left her all alone in germany to pursue his career, and he wasn’t wrong to do that, but it obviously hurt franziska and she felt neglected and like he didn’t bother to keep up with her. and then when he took his dramatic fucking sabbatical, he refused to loop her into that, too. miles decided without the consent of the people who love him that he was not worth it. he was unbelievably selfish to disappear the way he did, blinded by this idea that he is not loved or worth love. franziska loves him more than anything, and he did that to her on the tail end of her father’s incarceration. she lost both of her favourite people in the span of a few months. 

she ran away at the end of JFA and intended to give up on everything. and she ran away from him because if she abandons him first, he cannot abandon her. but nothing miles says in that scene undermines the fact that he chased after her. he could look her in the eyes and tell her she was scum to him but the fact of the matter is he followed her. he loved her enough to not be content just letting her give up and run away. he chased after her. can you imagine what that must’ve meant to her? 

he didn’t have to chase her. and he didn’t have to bring her whip back. and when he said ‘if you stop being a prosecutor, this is where we part ways’ i think we all knew he was not being literal. i think we all knew he was full of shit. i think what miles meant by that was to light a fire beneath her. to say that he had no intention of stopping, that he would keep on fighting, and that he wanted her to fight alongside him. they’ve always been rivals and they have always pushed each other to do better and be better, and miles knows that rivalry drives franziska unlike anything else. she doesn’t actually want to stop prosecuting, she’s just emotionally vulnerable and struggling to cope and throwing a bit of a tantrum about it, and so he pokes at an old button he knows will clear her head. franziska is a difficult person, but miles edgeworth knows her more than any person in the world, he knows how to love her and he does. he loves her so much.

she has seen a lot of pain in JFA. she has seen a lot of wicked words thrown her way, a lot of pushback, a lot of antagonism and banter and bickering, but the one thing no one shows her is kindness and love. phoenix tries, when he brings her flowers, but he gets nervous and backs out at the last second. gumshoe tries, but he does it out of earshot where she can’t hear. every nice thing someone says about franziska, they say while she is not there to listen. miles is the only person who looks her in the face and says he loves her. 

it is love that allows her the space to fall to pieces. it is love that shatters her veneer and turns her into a sobbing mess. she’s literally just a little girl who was forced to grow up too fast. she’s 18 years old and everything’s so hard. she just needed a fucking hug. 

no scene in ace attorney will ever, ever, EVER mean more to me.

[azrielsdove]

Love and Loss Ch.3

Warnings: Angst, Some Smut, 18+

Ch.2 Here | Ch.4 Here

***

Rhys spent the next few days doing everything to make up for the way he acted. He took you out to the fanciest restaurants in Velaris, walked you along the Sidra, flew you high into the sky. He took his time with you, slow touches and long kisses. You knew he needed to reclaim his own body, using yours to help him gain that confidence.

You were happy.

You were sitting at lunch with him, pleasantly talking and eating when he suddenly stilled. His hands gripped tightly to his cutlery, his eyes glazing over. You stood and rushed to his side, calling his name. “Rhys! Rhys? What’s wrong?” You were tugging on his arm, begging him to snap out of whatever had a hold of his mind.

His eyes shot to yours, a visible panic taking over them. “She needs me.” He said, hardly above a whisper. You couldn’t help the rush of cold that ran through your body at his words.

“Who?”, you asked calmly, already knowing the answer.

A shadow of guilt fell on his face as he responded; “Feyre.”

You nodded, unsure how to respond. Rhys grabbed your hands in his, pulling you close. “I know my love, this is nothing more than helping her when she needs it. As a friend. You are the only one in heart, I promise you.” You softened at his words, leaning down and giving him a gentle kiss.

“Fine.” You said, pulling back from him. “What does she need saving from?”

He looked down, shame radiating from him. “Her wedding,” he whispered, refusing to look at you.

“I see,” you said, removing your hands from his. “And is she asking to be saved, or do you just want to ‘save’ her?” You knew you were being unnecessarily cold, but how were you supposed to feel when your husband wanted to rush off to interrupt his mates wedding?

He stood quickly, a slight anger to his form. “Enough. She is asking. Begging. Am I supposed to let a helpless female get trapped in a toxic marriage?” Rhys’ eyes were dark, looking at you in a way they never had before. You wanted to shrink down against him, to run and hide.

You chose to stand strong. “You can’t pretend you don’t know how it sounds, Rhysand.” You said coolly, crossing your arms in front of you. “If you must go, then go.” You waved dismissively, turning to leave the room. A hand on your arm stopped you.

Your husbands eyes softened, an internal war going on behind them. “It is nothing more than helping her in this moment. Nothing. I love you.” He said, hand holding tight to you. You nodded, pulling out of his grasp.

“I believe you,” you sighed, “now go save her.”

***

Rhys didn’t bring Feyre to Velaris, a fact you were glad of. Unfortunately, he chose to stay in the Moonlight Palace with her for the week she was here. You heard from Mor how their initial meeting went, snorting at Feyre throwing her shoe at him. Good. He deserved it.

A part of you felt guilty for being upset with him, knowing he was trying to help someone who was at her lowest. You knew your husband had a good heart and was a kind man. You had heard of how sickly Feyre looked, how damaged she was from what happened Under the Mountain.

The angry snake of jealousy in your heart didn’t care about any of that.

All you could focus on was your husband living in the palace with his mate. The Cauldron-Made being, just for him. Was it selfish to keep him from being with her? No, you thought, shooing that idea away. Just because they were mates did not mean they would be happy together. Look at your husbands own parents, mates sure, but happy? Perhaps not.

You tried to distract yourself with reading, falling into story after story. You spent lots of time sitting in your townhouse, waiting for your husband to come home. You heard the front door open, running to it in excitement.

You tried not to let Azriel see the disappointment on your face.

“Good morning, Az. Rhys isn’t here.” You greeted, welcoming him inside. He stepped in and nodded at your words.

“I know,” he said, “I came to check on you.” You looked up at him, stunned.

“Me? What for? I’ve just been…here.” You spoke, hating how dreadfully dull you sounded. The ever-dutiful wife of the High Lord, patiently waiting for him to return.

“No, I know. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It can’t be easy knowing he’s there with her.” Your friends words were true, a sharp stab to your heart. It wasn’t easy.

“Oh, I-,” you paused, thinking over what to say. “I know he just wants to help her. They both went through a lot, down there. I would never dream of making it harder for her,” you answered politely. Truthfully, you couldn’t remain upset with Feyre. She had done nothing to you, she didn’t even know the mating bond or you existed.

Azriel shifted on his feet, not seeming to know what to say. “You’re a very good wife to him, truly. He is lucky to have you.” He finally said, giving you a small smile. You returned it with one of your own, shrugging your shoulders.

“I try to make things easier for him. Being High Lord brings lots of stress to his mind. I know you understand that too.” You replied, moving to sit in the living room. Azriel followed, making himself comfortable on the armchair. You tucked your legs underneath you on the couch, watching the fire in front of you.

“He wouldn’t hurt you.” Azriel said, breaking the silence. You looked at him, sighing at his words.

“I know he wouldn’t. Not intentionally at least.” You spoke the second part softer, embarrassed by how jealous you were of Feyre.

Sympathy flashed across Azriel’s face, a look you could’ve gone without. “He just wants to help her. None of us were down there-,” he began to say, cut off by your sharp voice.

“I know that, Azriel. You think I don’t remind myself of that a hundred times a day? That I have no reason to be jealous of a girl who was tortured and killed, when I have been his wife for 150 years? I know it is selfish and irrational to be so upset about him helping her, but I can’t stop.” You buried your face in your ands. “I can’t stop.” You whispered, hot tears flowing down your face.

You felt the cushion next to you sink down and a strong arm wrap around your shoulders. You melted into Azriel’s hold, letting all the conflicting emotions take over. He held you close, his other hand holding onto your arm, rubbing soothing circles over it. You cried until you fell asleep, comfortable in the safety of Azriel’s embrace.

***

AZRIELS POV

He loved her. He knew it was wrong, that he should not feel this way about his brothers wife. However, that very same brother was currently entertaining his mate in a different city. Azriel knew Feyre was innocent in all of this, but that did not mean he was.

Rhysand.

He was disappointed in him. He could understand saving Feyre from marrying the Spring Court High Lord. He could even understand the deal they made Under the Mountain, knowing all too well how Rhys will do anything to get under Tamlin’s skin. He didn’t understand why he stayed there with her, not coming home to check on his wife.

His wife who had waited for him for so long, praying for his safety everyday. His wife who always stood by his side, even in the darkest of times. His wife who was curled up against Azriel, sleeping with fresh tear stains on her face. It shouldn’t be him sitting her holding her, it should be her husband.

Azriel was interrupted from his thoughts by the sudden appearance of Rhys in the living room. He noticed the anger in his eyes as he took in the sight of his wife sleeping on the shadowsinger. “What is going on here, Azriel?” He asked, his voice cold.

It took everything in him not to roll his eyes. “She was upset, I helped. Much like you and your Feyre, no?” He knew it was a bad idea to get the High Lord riled up, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

The room darkened, Rhysands magic creeping in. “You don’t speak to me like that, Shadowsinger.” He growled, teeth barred.

“I will speak to you how I wish if you continue leaving your wife to cry all alone.”

The words sucked all the air out of the room. Rhys stilled, his hands tightened into fists.

“Get out.” The demand was quiet, deadly. Azriel knew what Rhys could do, the power he could throw at him.

“Why? So you can suck up to your pretty little wife, beg her forgiveness for spending the week entertaining your mate? Never once coming to see her?” Azriel shot back, keeping his voice low as to not disturb the sleeping female next to him.

“I’m warning you once, do not provoke me today. Leave.” Rhys commanded, taking a step closer to the couch.

Azriel couldn’t help the way his arm tightened on her shoulders. An action that Rhys so meticulously noticed. He stepped forward, pulling his wife out of his arms. He cradled her close to his chest, moving to take her up to their room.

Azriel stood, shadows swirling angrily around him. “You will lose her if you are not careful, Rhysand.”

The High Lord turned, an unmovable darkness in his eyes. “Is that a threat, Azriel?”

Silence. Then; “No. But when you break her because you are too busy playing with Feyre, I will be there to pick up the pieces.” He knew he shouldn’t push this subject, not when it had been an almost friendship-ending fight 155 years ago.

“You are not the one she chose, Azriel. You would do well to remember that.” Rhys spat at him before walking up the stairs and out of view. Az was left standing in the room, anger and embarrassment swirling around his gut.

***

READER POV

You woke up, snuggling closer to the figure holding you tight to them. “Mmm, Az?” You said, not yet opening your eyes. The figure went rigid, arm loosening ever so slightly on you.

“No,” came the cold voice of your husband, “sorry to disappoint.”

Your eyes shot open, an excited “Rhys!” coming from you. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

“Don’t ‘Rhys!’ me now, sweetheart. What game do you think you’re playing, messing with him like that?” He demanded, moving to stand up next to the bed. You sat, draping your legs over the edge.

“What do you mean, my love?” you asked, confusion on your face. Rhys scoffed.

“I come home, excited to see my wife, only to find her tucked under my brothers arm like she belongs there. Like she had found a way to replace me.” His voice quieted at the end, a pain to his words.

You shook your head, reaching out to grab his hands and pull him closer. “No, Husband. Never. Azriel is just my friend, as we have been over so many times. He was consoling me, I just missed you so.” You spoke earnestly, catching Rhys’ eyes.

He sighed, stepping in between your legs. “My love, my life. I know you understand how I feel, don’t you?” He leaned close, hand coming up to wrap around your throat. “You reek of jealousy.” His words were a deadly whisper, a jolt shooting through your body.

“Darling wife, how naive you are. How could I think of anyone else when I can come home to this perfect pussy anytime I want?” He growled, his other hand shooting up the slit in your dress, finding how wet you were for him. An embarrassingly needy moan fell from your lips as his fingers explored you, teasing you.

“Could Azriel make you feel like this? Fall apart at the barest touch?” His words were heated, a fiery passion in his eyes.

“No,” you choked out, his hand tightening on your neck. Rhysand gave a cruel smile at your gasping word, two fingers sliding pleasurably inside of you. You opened your mouth in a silent scream, melting into his touch.

“Mmm,” Rhys hummed, enjoying the feeling of you around his fingers. “How obedient for me.” His thumb came up to circle you, your hands gripping onto the bedsheets below you. You gasped out, breathing hard from the pressure Rhys had on your neck.

“You are the only one who gets to feel this, love. Not Feyre.” He groaned out her name, thrusting his fingers in and out of you. “You enjoy being a selfish, dirty slut, don’t you?” He asked, tilting your head up to him. “Answer me.”

“Yes.” You moaned, lost in the pleasure of his anger. His thumb circling faster, the increase causing your legs to shake.

“Open.” Rhys commanded, watching as you opened that perfect pink mouth for him. He spit into it, forcing you to swallow. “So obedient. So perfect.” He murmured, fingers pulling your pleasure from you. You moaned out his name, shaking as your orgasm took over. He worked you through it, only stopping to remove his cock from his pants.

“Now,” he said, picking you up and turning you around. “You’re going to place those hands on the bed, and I am going to fuck you so hard your screams are heard in the Spring Court.”

***

Here is Ch.3!! I have lots planned for Ch.4, i’ve already begun writing it. I have a request to do, and then I will get it out for you all!! Please keep leaving your comments!! ALSO if you want to be on a taglist for this story, please reply here!

Tags: @amara-moonlight @tothestarsandwhateverend

[saintclarkegriffin]

The 100 ended four years ago so I think I can confidently say that i'm forever going to be stuck between the denial phase and the anger phase. No accepting or moving on for me.

I mean for the most part I just pretend that season 7 never happened, like I block it out of my mind. But when I do remember it happened, I just get incredibly angry. And I know it's not healthy to still be this upset over a fictional show that ended in 2020, but I can't help it.

I think about how Bellamy was character assassinated and then killed off in the most brutal and stupid way possible, shot by CLARKE of all people, over a damn BOOK, that she didn't even take!!! I think about how he died all alone, without a chance of saying goodbye to any of his friends or his SISTER!!! I mean think about how crazy that is, Finn died but got to say goodbye to Clarke, Lexa died but got to say goodbye to Clarke not once but twice, Lincoln died but got to say goodbye to Octavia, Jasper died but got to say goodbye to Monty, Kane died but got to say goodbye to Abby and Indra, and Bellamy??? The male lead of the show Bellamy??? He dies and he doesn't even get to say goodbye to OCTAVIA??? The Blakes don't even get a proper final scene together??? And I get angry.

I think about how Clarke, the main lead of the show, was cast aside for half the season and then also character assassinated, turned into a selfish vindictive cold-blooded person who never learns from her mistakes and suddenly doesn't care about being the good guy or doing the right thing... even though the entire point of her character arc was that she was fundamentally a good person, selfless, altruistic and empathetic, who was forced into impossible moral dilemmas. But she never stopped caring!!! Making these impossible choices never got easier for her!!! Because she was good!!! But suddenly in season 7 she was turned into everything that Clarke antis accused her of being. And what's Jason's excuse for this? "Oh, well, if you think about it she was never the hero... she was doing awful things early on in the show, just against people we didn't care about like Mount Weather... In season 7 we put the audience in Mount Weather's shoes"... excuse me???? As if Clarke didn't try literally everything in her power to get her people back, without having to harm/kill the people in Mount Weather??? As if Clarke didn't decide to pull the lever only when she saw her own mother and her friends being strapped to a table to be tortured and killed for their bone marrow??? As if Clarke didn't feel distraught over what she had to do, to the point that she felt like she had to leave her people and be on her own in the woods for months??? As if she didn't have nightmares??? As if she didn't feel guilt and regret over Mount Weather and Maya up to freaking season 6??? And I get angry.

I think about how Bellarke, whether romantic, platonic or something in between, was the MAIN relationship of the show, with the most development and screen time. And that relationship was absolutely destroyed in the most contrived, spiteful way possible!!!! Jason had to character assassinate both Bellamy and Clarke to make it happen. That's how resentful of Bellarke and Bellarke shippers he was. Even though he was the freaking show runner!!! He had the power of writing Bellarke platonically from day one!!! But Bob and Eliza confirmed that they were told that Bellarke was romantic in nature, and that's how they performed it!!! Jason was the one who wrote 2x16 and 4x13, arguably two of the most important episodes for Bellarke... he came up with together!!! He took the head and the heart from the fans and put it in the show!!! He wrote Clarke calling Bellamy every day for 2,199 days!!! No one forced him to do that!!! But he did, and for what??? For Clarke to shoot Bellamy in the end and kill him??? Even if he didn't want to make them canon for whatever reason, he could've still written an ending that was respectful of their friendship and history in the show. But no!!! He had to destroy everything that made Bellarke what it was. And I get angry.

I think about how Octavia spent YEARS trying to get back to Bellamy, to see him again and tell him how much she loves him... And then in the second half of season 7, she just gives up on him??? She doesn't even TRY to understand what happened to him on Etherea, she doesn't talk to him, when Bellamy visits her and Clarke she just stands there with a disappointed face and doesn't say a word. And then when Clarke tells her that she killed Bellamy, she just hugs her and tells her that she understands??? And so would the old Bellamy???? The 'old Bellamy' she didn't even TRY to get back, the 'old Bellamy' she simply gave up on??? Literally every character from Octavia to Clarke to Raven to Murphy to Miller to Echo, had to be character assassinated so that Bellamy could die the way he did. Because none of them would've given up on him!!! They all loved Bellamy!!! He was the 'dad' of the deliquents and then the leader of Skaikru on the ring. But suddenly nobody cares about him, nobody tries to understand what happened to him or tries to change his mind, not even his SISTER!!! AND I GET ANGRY.

I think about how the message of season 3 was that 'pain means that you're alive' and 'you don't ease pain, you overcome it', and how it is better to live in an imperfect world than a perfect simulation. And then in season 7 there's Transcendence which is basically the City of Light 2.0, an immortal hive mind where there's no pain and no death. Just "peace" for eternity. But suddenly THIS hive mind is okay... because? Because the Judge and the other aliens (putting aside how ridiculous it is to introduce ALIENS in your show in the very last episode) are fair while A.L.I.E wasn't? There's nothing 'fair' about deciding which species is worthy of Transcendence and which isn't. Especially since the punishment for not passing the test is MASS GENOCIDE. And yet the Judge is portrayed as 'good' and 'fair' while A.L.I.E. was the one actually trying to ensure the survival of the human race!!! And don't get me wrong, A.L.I.E. was evil but in her methods, her motivs were actually morally sound compared to the Judge and the rest of the aliens. They only did what they did because they believed that they were morally superior to all other species, and if one species wasn't 'good' enough according to their moral standards, that meant that they deserved extinction!!!! "But at least with Transcendence you can choose whether you want to transcend or not, A.L.I.E. didn't give you a choice" bullshit!!! If you "choose" not to transcend, the aliens still take away your chance to procreate and have kids from you!!! They make you infirtile against your will!!! Your species still dies with you and your friends!!!! Why? Because some aliens said so!!! And that's supposed to be an happy ending??? Just because all the characters are smiling and hugging, it doesn't make this ending any less horrific once you think about it for like two seconds. And I get angry.

And finally I think about how the entire message of the show was NOT survival like Jason claims, but how 'life should be more than just surviving'. How 'life can be more than impossible choices and a tragic end'. How humans can 'be the good guys' and break the cycle of war and violence and tribalism. And in the end none of that mattered. Humans kept fighting each other up until the last episode and only stopped because they were being 'tested'. They got absorbed into a hive mind and they're going to be stuck there for all eternity, no lesson learned, no real peace gained. Our main characters, that we've followed for seven seasons, are going to eventually die, leaving nothing or no one behind. All the sacrifices, all the impossible choices they've made... completely meaningless, since the 'survival' of the human race was never up to them building a better world and society after all, it was always up to the morally superior aliens. I think about how they got to survive, but they didn't get to live. And I get angry... because I really loved this show and these characters so much... and they just... they deserved better. They really did.

[maoam]

What do you think of this post

https://www.tumblr.com/saski-uchis/740996293540954112/an-analysis-on-sns-and-their-fans-treatment-of?source=share

I stopped reading when op brought up "the truth about itachi?" panel as proof that Sakura can't be judged for not knowing. But okay, I will explain this in more details AGAIN.

1. The difference in how Kishi portrayed Naruto/Sakura reasoning with Sasuke

Naruto's reasoning why Sasuke shouldn't go to Orochimaru: "He will kill you." Naruto is concerned for Sasuke's well-being.

Sakura's reasoning why Sasuke shouldn't go to Orochimaru: "Revenge won't make you... ME happy." And Sasuke says "I knew it (yappari)" because he realizes Sakura is making this about herself. That's why that line is isolated with Sasuke in the background.

She specifically claims she understood what Sasuke meant yet she compares her pain to Sasuke's entire clan being massacred and taken from him, and takes her own parents for granted.

Then when it doesn't work, she starts to confess her feelings (why the hell she always looks angry when she confesses?).

And then she completely flips on her arguments. So much for "revenge won't make you happy" like she cares about Sasuke's happiness. Unlike with Naruto, whose arguments were very simple, Kishi chose to portray Sakura in this insincere and hypocritical manner. This is a writing choice.

He actually says in Japanese "I knew it (yappari), you really are annoying." Notice how Sasuke always uses "I knew it" with Sakura, it's because his first impression of her being ignorant, selfish and childish was correct. So despite him giving her chances his first impression continues to be right.

2. Naruto's reasoning stays the same

Kishi acknowledged that Naruto didn't quite get Sasuke yet at this point, but his intentions were good nonetheless. He just didn't want Sasuke to die/throw his life away.

3. Kage arc and how Kishi again portrayed Naruto and Sakura differently:

Yes, Naruto reacts like this at first.

Kishi showed that Naruto did care and did understand Sasuke's love for his clan. He also showed Naruto was completely fine with letting the massacre be exposed. He did not care about how it would make Konoha look, even when he didn't know it to be true yet. Kishi wrote this for a reason. Kakashi then stops Naruto.

Sakura, who supposedly "loves" Sasuke, heard how much Sasuke loves his clan, was aware that Itachi had been killed, yet she didn't bother to ASK Sasuke, something Naruto was planning to do, why he is now acting the way he is since Itachi had been killed. She just didn't want to feel guilty about the promise between her and Naruto (because her ego really made her believe Naruto was only chasing Sasuke for her). So she decided to kill Sasuke.

Sakura then hears all this (after her failed attempt to kill Sasuke) which means that there is more to Itachi's case than meets the eye, and that Sasuke thinks Konoha is responsible for what happened to his clan. Yet she still doesn't ask anyone what all that was about because she does not care. Her main motivation was always to get into Sasuke's pants, she never cared about Sasuke's feelings or him as a person, that's how Kishi wrote her. The fact op used this last panel to defend Sakura is baffling to me. She was specifically given an opportunity here, and she just shrugged it off.

4. Portraying Naruto and Sakura differently yet again:

Sakura is given the chance to understand Sasuke wants CHANGE and yet does she care?

Nope, she starts yapping about her feelings and how things can go back to the way they were if Sasuke just stays with her, completely discarding Sasuke's desire for change. Which mirrors the confession she made in part 1. Kishi was showing how she has not changed in ways that matter. She is still selfish, and she still doesn't listen/nor care about Sasuke's feelings. This is why Sasuke calls her annoying yet again.

But Naruto, regardless of the shitty ending, does want change. He was shown over and over again to want to change things for the better. You can't possibly use Boruto to deny this part of his character.

Guess who again discarded what Sasuke wanted and asked to come with him on his journey he wanted to take alone, just for romantic purposes? Guess who later CHASED Sasuke just to be with him, once again discarding his wants?

"Naruto forced Sasuke to come back to Konoha" no he didn't. At no point did Naruto say Sasuke needs to live in Konoha. He let Sasuke leave at the end, and didn't force himself with him because Sasuke wanted to go alone.

People who act like Sakura would be revolutionary when Kishi over and over again showed that not only does Sakura not grow as a person, she also does not care about Sasuke's feelings or change.

Same way, Kishi had Shizune tell Sai that Naruto is not chasing Sasuke only for Sakura's sake. Yet Sakura still thought it was just for her, and thought her confession would make Naruto stop chasing Sasuke, and was shocked when Naruto said the promise doesn't even matter. Sakura constantly discards the information she receives because she just does not care if it's not about her relevance or her being together with Sasuke.

"People celebrate Naruto for doing the same things they hate Sakura for" no we don't, we just read the manga and understand what Kishi was trying to tell, hope this helps.

[acewritesfics]

Past Love: Part 03 | Tommy Shelby

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: From anon

Fic Type: Blurb

Prompt: "I’m happiest when I’m with you." & “You feel like home to me.”  

Warnings: It does allude to smut. Also alludes to cheating which I don't condone.  

Word Count: 589

PART 01 | PART 02

TOMMY SHELBY MASTERLIST

As Y/N drives away from the pub, it starts to pour with rain. Near the end of the street, she pulls over unable to see clearly through the rain and her own tears. Unable to bring herself to leave, she thinks back to the last time she was truly happy.  

It was the last time she was with Tommy. He surprised her, turning up on her doorstep three nights before he was to marry Grace, who Tommy had successfully distracted her from thinking about over the two days he was with her. They had spent most of the time in bed wrapped up in one another. It felt like it had before the war had turned their lives and relationship upside down.   

“You stupid fool. You love him,” she cries talking about herself. Feeling angry at herself, she thinks about what could have been if she had just been a little selfish and didn’t put everyone else ahead of herself.   

Now was the time to put not only her wants and needs but also Tommy’s above the others. Stepping out of her vehicle, she starts making her way back to the Garrison. By the time she reaches the doorstep she’s soaked head to toe from the rain.   

As she goes to reach for the door handle the door swings open revealing Tommy who looks stunned to see her standing there.   

"I’m happiest when I’m with you," she begins to tell him, her tears mixing with the rain drops. “For so long I have been putting every other woman first, not listening to what I want or what you want, and I can’t do it anymore,” she pauses to take a breath. “I love you; I need you and, I wa-”   

She’s cut off by Tommy’s lips crashing to hers, kissing her with all the love he feels for her as he pulls her close to him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she holds him as tight as she can as the kiss becomes sloppy. She’s afraid if she lets go and if she opens her eyes and ends the kiss, that he’ll disappear, her mind having played a cruel joke on her.  

Tommy eventually breaks the kiss and lets her go long enough to open the door back up and pull her back inside, locking it. Within a matter of seconds his lips are on hers again, deepening the already heated kiss.   

Sitting on his lap facing him, wrapped in his arms as both catch their breath and ease their racing hearts, with the musky smell of sex lingering around them, Y/N runs her fingers along his forehead, moving his hear out of his face so she can see those beautiful blue eyes she loves so much. “I need to go find me a room for the night and you need to go home and talk to Lizzy. I won’t be the other woman.”  

“You’ve never been the other woman,” he assures her. “They were just a means to try and get over you.”  

“You still need to go home,” she says going to move off his lap, only for him to pull her back down on it.   

“You feel like home to me,” he says as he moves his hand to the back of her neck and massages it a little. “You are my home. Let me have tonight with you and I’ll talk to Lizzy in the morning.”  

Against her better judgement, which was long gone by now, she nods and leans in, kissing him again. 

TAGGED: @chapter-in-my-old-diary - @hanawrites404 - @goblinjnr - @halsteadbrasil - @forgottenpeakywriter - @star-ggirl - @iceman-kazansky - @alexxavicry - @galactict3a - @crispynutella - @il0vebeingdelulu - @nicole-19s-world

Bold means your @ didn't come up when I tried to tag you. Here's a post I found that could help if your not able to be tagged: WHY OTHERS CAN'T TAG YOUR BLOG

Sometimes your blog will be linked after posted but I don't think you get the notification. Tags have been weird lately. I might start putting the tags in the comments. Let me know if you get the notification.

[imaginepirates]

Everything I Need

Jack and the reader both have feelings for each other, but have yet to act on them. When the reader sees him kissing someone else, they think he's already in a relationship, and they begin pushing him away to save their own emotions.

@emdrabbles @tesserphantom @viper-official @hellspawn-brownies @groovy-lady @ghoulishbehaviour @kittenlittle24

~3100 words

~~~~~~~

The distinct slide of warm sand through your toes pulled a smile to your face. After six long months of roving, the Pearl had made port back at Tortuga, and your feet hit solid ground for the first time in half a year. As much as you loved sailing, a ship was only so large, and you could only walk the same fifty yards of deck so many times before it began to drive you batty. 

The scenery never changed on the open ocean, not truly. Oh, every day the water was a new shade, and the sky a new color, and the patterns of the waves and clouds never took the same shapes, but even when the sea changed from serene to angry, wind was still wind, and water still water. 

The little cove you’d tucked yourself into was a welcome change to all that. You relished the vibrant greens and yellows and reds of the plants, as well as the chirping of birds, and even the singing cicadas. Later, you would enjoy new company, too, and new stories alongside, but for the moment, you were content to sit only with the company of the land. 

Your seclusion, however, didn’t last long. A figure dropped down next to you, barefoot with their trousers rolled up to the knee. It hadn’t taken Jack long to find you; he knew you too well. It should have annoyed you more, that he always knew where you would be, but his company was never unwelcome. 

“Glad to be back ashore?” 

You accepted the bottle he held out to you, taking a swig before answering. “In all honesty, I am. But you’re already itching to be back out there, aren’t you?” You nudged him with a knee, and he smiled back at you, used to your teasing. 

“Can’t help myself, love. The ocean calls to me, and who am I to deny her? I have everything I need out there.”

“Except rum. You come back for that.”

“Except rum,” he agreed. 

It was easy, conversation between you. Jack had a way about him like a gentle morning tide, an ebb and flow to his words and thoughts, simple to wade through and enjoyably warm. A part of you wondered whether he shared this side of himself with everyone, and another, selfish part of you secretly hoped he didn’t. 

The truth you had come to accept was simple: after many long years of knowing him, somewhere along the line you’d fallen a little in love with your captain. That truth, of course, was a maddeningly frustrating one. There were many unspoken rules aboard a ship, the first and foremost being that no part of the crew was to have romantic, or god forbid sexual, relations with the captain. It was a grand violation of the fragile ecosystem that was ship life. Compounded with that fact was the deeper, more meaningful reason you couldn’t bring yourself to confess— Jack was a creature of freedom, and in desiring his affection, you would be denying him the full range of liberty he needed. It was a thing you simply couldn’t do. 

“What are the chances Anamaria has already gotten into a fight?” Jack was still staring out over the horizon, that characteristic gleam in his eye. 

“What are the chances she’s already won?” You knew Anamaria, and there was a high likelihood that by the time you got to whatever tavern she was in, someone would already owe her money. And have a broken jaw. 

Jack stood, helping you to your feet and corking his bottle. “I won’t let you be reclusive all night. I’ll need someone sympathetic there when Anamaria decides it’s my turn.”

“I’d pay good money to see that.”

Jack feigned offense. “How could you?”

“Because if there’s someone knocking you around, you likely deserve it.”

You walked into town like that, joking and placing meaningless bets on who had gotten up to what while you were both away. Tortuga was exactly like you remembered it, a city much like the sea, where things never really changed. Every building was still itself, if a little more tattered and worn. Not that you minded. That exact attribute was what made it perfectly suited for a group of pirates. The place had its charm, even amongst the heaps of mud and rusty door-joints. Old and battered, just like you all were.

Jack slipped past you into a crowded bar, and you promptly followed. You were overwhelmed all at once by the rowdy music, the sea of voices, the mix of smells, the different fabrics, and the heat created by so many bodies in so little space. You tried peeking around for a familiar face but had no such luck. Instead, you accepted the random fluke of drink Jack had plucked off a bar and set in your hands. 

It took careful navigation through multiple rooms before you saw anyone you knew. Sure enough, Anamaria had a stack of coins on the table in front of her, and half the room away a man was nursing a black eye and bloody nose. 

You settled down next to her, eyeing the considerable amount of money she’d won, grinning. You could swear she had some sort of gambling god sitting on her shoulder, whispering in her ear and telling her the right cards to play. Jack had wandered off somewhere else, presumably in search of something new to drink. You watched him go, letting your eyes linger on his form in the dim light, comfortable in the knowledge he couldn’t catch you, only to get an elbow in the ribs from Anamaria who sat just beside you. 

“You have got to stop staring at him like that.”

“Hey now, don’t be unfair.” You held up your hands, reluctantly tearing your eyes from Jack. “It’s not that bad. I really doubt many people have noticed.”

“Only half the crew. If excitement onboard doesn’t pick up, we’ll be betting on you two next.”

“That’s unfair. Pintel and Ragetti provide ample entertainment.”

Speaking of those two, you noticed them across the room, clearly bickering over some newfound subject. They always found ways to inspire philosophical discussion, even if the philosophy at hand was objectively ridiculous. 

Unfortunately, though, Anamaria was right. Your feelings for Jack were probably a bit obvious, despite trying to keep them to yourself. You were afraid Jack would find out, or worse — that he already knew. But you couldn’t keep yourself from noticing his smile, his laugh, any simple expressions of true joy that weren’t part of his facade. He put on an act, you knew, for most people. The perfectly suave pirate come to rob you of all earthly riches, leaving you dazed and a little enthralled. An alluring storybook character come to life. It was those real smiles, though, that you couldn’t shake from your brain, that kept you staring after him even as the moment faded and passed. 

Then there were the endearments, said out of habit if anything else, but they still had their charm. Every time he called you ‘love’, you got this warm sensation in your chest like the feeling of a good drink, spreading to your stomach and dancing across your limbs. Flirtation was in his nature, but that didn’t make it any less effective.

You sighed, taking a sip of the mystery drink Jack had handed you. It was some sort of cocktail, pleasantly fruity with a hint of grenadine*. Jack had disappeared, so your focus shifted toward watching other bar-goers. A tall blonde sawed a whipping fiddle, the tune drawing dancers to the center of the floor. The dancers, of course, were too drunk to keep their coordination, and the resulting chaos of limbs had you snickering. 

Tortuga really was the last bastion of revelry in the ever-shrinking world. You let yourself enjoy it; there was enough time for overthinking things later. For the time being, you relaxed back into your seat, cheering on Anamaria when another poor sod challenged her to cards, wheezing with laughter as Gibbs attempted a jig, blushing and breathless as the fiddler pulled you into the crowd for a dance of your own. 

By the time early morning rolled around, the bar was full of passed-out patrons, people napping wherever they could find room. You rose groggily to your feet, unaware of how long you’d been asleep, and staggered to the door. The outside air made a refreshing contrast to the stifling heat inside the bar, and the smell of brine helped clear your head. You rubbed your eyes and straightened up. 

You walked around the back of the bar in hopes of finding clean water with which to wash your face, only to see a handsome, redheaded young-man with their fingers buried in the front of Jack’s shirt. And their mouth firmly on his. 

You whipped around before either of them could notice you, stalking back the way you came. You didn’t hear the soft thud of the redhead’s body hitting the wall as Jack pushed them away, nor Jack’s voice, calm but firm, denying any further advances. Instead, you followed your feet until they hit sand, curling up in the cove you’d found the previous day. 

You should have known. You should have known Jack would already have someone, someone he was closer to than you. You couldn’t be the only person in love with him—if you’d noticed all the wonderful things about him, other people undoubtedly had, too. Jack had been a pirate for a long time, and had a whole past you knew nothing about. Of course there would be someone else. 

You curled and uncurled your fingers in the sand. The breeze off the ocean did nothing to cool the hot wave of jealousy that rolled over you. You let it sit there, broiling and festering and simmering within you, allowing yourself to stew over it. Warm tears fell over your cheeks, and you wiped them away angrily with the back of your hand.

Then it was gone. Like the recession of the morning tide, your jealousy left you in one fell swoop, and only exhaustion and emptiness remained as you hugged your knees. You had no right to feel jealous of Jack’s lover. You and Jack had never shared a romantic relationship, and you had no claim to him. All you had were the feelings you kept to yourself, and it was your own fault for never acting on them. If anything, you should be happy Jack had someone he cherished; it was so rare as a pirate to find time for partners. 

Still, a little nagging voice in the back of your head whispered its miseries in your ear. 

Back aboard the Pearl, the crew filed onto the ship, still dreary and in need of more sleep. But Jack seemed anxious to leave, and everyone was used to hangovers and quick departures. Gibbs grumbled something along the lines of ‘what trouble has Jack gotten into this time?’, but nobody argued about getting underway. 

For you, it was both a blessing and a curse. While you doubted anyone had noticed your absence that morning, you were less than thrilled with the prospect of seeing Jack every day and being reminded of the feelings you desperately needed to leave behind. Then again, leaving Tortuga meant you wouldn’t have to hide from the bars in fear of more…potent reminders. 

You spent your time avoiding Jack as much as possible. Somehow, there was always a task for you to do down below when he was on deck, or rigging to climb until he was a speck far beneath you. The crow’s nest was quickly becoming your favorite spot. You could climb there and brood for a while under the pretense of watching out for the Navy—any of them—and you didn’t have to deal with concern from the crew over uncharacteristic frowning. 

But he noticed. And you noticed he noticed because his gaze wavered whenever it landed on you, and that never used to happen before. He’d stopped speaking with you, though you felt how much he wanted to. You told yourself it was for the best, but it felt wrong at the same time.

In truth, it hurt. You missed your old conversations, the easy familiarity you used to share. Your life on the Pearl just wasn’t the same without it. It was your fault, too, which stung even more, and you hated thinking that you were putting Jack through any sort of torment of his own. Your intention was never to hurt him, but you feared that was part of the result you were getting. 

As it turned out, Jack wasn’t the only one who noticed. “Why are you avoiding him so much lately?” Anamaria sidled up to you, helping you secure belaying pins. Jack wasn’t on deck, so you were more free to talk without fear of anything getting back to him.

Leave it to her to sniff things out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You tried playing the comment off, but knew you failed miserably. 

“Did something happen between the two of you in Tortuga?” 

“No.”

She put a hand over yours, halting your work and forcing you to meet her gaze. “Something’s wrong, of that I’m sure. Care to enlighten me?” Seeing your hesitation, she reassured you. “I’m your friend. I’m not going to tell anyone, and I’m not going to judge you. Too much.” 

You knew from her smirk that she was joking, and it was the first time you’d had any humor around in weeks. It felt good to have that dynamic back, and you warmed to the idea of opening up, though you were a bit mortified to do so. 

“It’s just…” you began, “you know I have feelings for Jack. And I was finally coming to terms with them, but the morning we left, I realized there’s no place for them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I saw Jack kissing someone else.” You stopped mid-action, the rope in your hands suffering an unfinished knot.

You didn’t need to look at her to know Anamaria was shocked. You pushed on, the silence too much for you to bear at the moment. “It makes sense: I mean, he’s been a pirate for a long time, and he’s had all these adventures and travels, and it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he met someone on one of them. I have no right to feel jealous; we were never together.”

“That doesn’t make it hurt any less.” Anamaria’s hand came to rest on your shoulder, her thumb rubbing gently over your shirt. 

You sighed. She was right, as usual. “No, it really doesn’t.”

“I’d say let’s spit in his drink, but you’ve already acknowledged it’s not that sort of situation.”

You smiled a little in spite of yourself. You continued working in silence, taking as much comfort from her company as you could. Maybe with her around, and being friends with the rest of the crew, you could dull some of your pain with their companionship. No matter how much it stung that Jack couldn’t love you, you could never be truly lonely with the rest of them by your side. 

Evening fell with a cloudless sunset, nothing to obscure the reds and yellows and pinks of the darkening sky. You stayed on deck instead of retreating somewhere else, unwilling to let your negative thoughts get the better of you. You were still alone, standing at the rail by yourself, but you weren’t lonely with the rest of the crew milling about, wisps of conversation drifting over to you. 

A presence at your side made you turn. It was Jack, staring out over the horizon, looking a little anxious. You couldn’t blame him. You knew you were the source of his discomfort, and you wanted to make up for it as best as you could, though the prospect of confessing the reasons behind your behavior scared you. He would think less of you for this, you were sure. He was too easygoing to understand why you would be so caught up on jealousy.

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but you started. “I know I’ve been distant, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” You sucked in a breath, bracing yourself for what had to come next. “I saw you in Tortuga the morning we left, you know, with that boy. He’s a handsome sort, and I’m glad for you, but I had no idea you were in any sort of relationship, and I had kind of been hoping…” you trailed off. This was hard, but you had to grit through it, because not talking to Jack again would be harder. “I had feelings for you. Have feelings. And watching you with him has kind of been eating me up alive.”

You risked a look over to Jack after a moment, waiting on a response. To your surprise, he looked shocked, and beneath that, you saw a tinge of sadness. 

“I’m sorry to overwhelm you,” you began, but Jack cut you off with a shake of his head. 

“I’m the sorry one, love. You shouldn’t have had to see that, and it gave you the completely wrong idea.”

Now it was your turn for shock, and not a little panic. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I didn’t want him to kiss me.” The sentence hung in the air before Jack continued. “It’s not that he isn’t good looking, or that I don’t know him—I do, but I don’t feel that way about him. I don’t…” Jack frowned, looking for the right word. “I don’t love him.”

“Oh.” It came out so small you weren’t sure you’d even said anything, but Jack finally managed to look you in the eye. 

“I don’t know if I deserve your affection. My flirting gets me in trouble; you got to see it first hand. And that got me in trouble with you. I’m not sure I’m worthy of commitment.”

“Oh Jack.” You raised a hand to cup the side of his face. “I don’t think you have a choice. I’ve already loved you for so long, I’m not sure I can stop.”

“Even though I deserve one of Anamaria’s beatings?”

“Even though that.”

Jack’s fingers laced themselves through yours, keeping your hand in place on his cheek. “I don’t need land to find my lover. You said it yourself: I could stay at sea forever. Because I have everything I need right here.”

*I’m aware grenadine wasn’t invented until 1872, but I needed to put something there, and idk my alcohol. 

[msbigredmachine]

New To This - Chapter 4

MASTERLIST

-------------

The alarm on her phone had never sounded so loud before. Ever. It was a battle for Delilah to untangle herself from the sheets, grope around the bed for the pesky phone and disable the offensive sound. Cracking one eye open, then cringing at how bright the phone screen was, she glanced at the time and groaned. Five-thirty already? Jesus.

Throwing the sheets off of herself, Delilah struggled to blink her eyes against the darkness as she ran down her mental morning checklist, which mainly consisted of excuses to remain in the comfort of her bed. She’d been doing so ever since she began her training as a wrestler, but no matter how she tried, nothing seemed to be ever good enough, especially when she had two jobs awaiting her each day. And speaking of…the feel of the air conditioning against her skin reminded her that the light bill had to be paid in some form or the other, and soon.

Rolling out of bed, she winced as her feet touched the floor. The smoke had cleared and every muscle in her body now ached from her match the night before. Every ache would be worth it though, if she could experience the same exhilarating feeling she did in the aftermath – the applause, the plaudits, the attention. She only wished her husband-to-be didn’t have to fuck it all up last night by bringing her crashing back down to earth.

In all honesty, inviting Tank and Jey to her home after her match  had been a deliberate act on her part. Part of her had wanted Andre to be happy for her, and to realize that other people supported her. But deep down, another part just wanted revenge for all of the late-night boys’ nights he and his friends had shared while she herself was trying to get some rest. She really wanted to feel guilty for being selfish and retaliating, but after the way he’d disrespected her last night, feeling bad was a hard sell for her right now.

She tensed up when she heard the bathroom door open. His footsteps were soft and cautious, and as he appeared in front of her looking haggard in ragged jeans and a flannel shirt, he was rubbing his hand over his face. “Mornin’,” he mumbled, raising his tired eyes to hers and cringing at her angry expression. “Look…about last night,” he started.

“Ugh, here we go,” she rolled her eyes, wincing a little as she hauled her aching body off the bed and stood upright.

Andre followed her every move, his shoulders sagged dejectedly. “Babe, I’m tryna apologize here.”

“Oh really! Apologize for what exactly?” she demanded, “Not being there for me, or humiliating me in front of the two people who cared enough to come see my match, one of whom, by the way, is a big name in the company I could only dream of being a part of one day. Which is it, huh?”

“Dee, come on…”

Shaking her head, she turned and limped out of the bedroom and toward the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator, grabbing ingredients to set about making a sandwich for herself. None for Andre, hell no. She was more than mad at him right now. Plus, he was capable of fixing his own breakfast.

She heard footsteps a few minutes later, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Andre approaching the kitchen cautiously. He stood next to her, his sheepish expression a stark contrast to her irritated one. “Baby, I’m sorry. I was a dick,” he began, not taking his eyes off of her. “I was tired and cranky and wasn’t thinking rationally. Please forgive me.”

Delilah felt her stomach plummet when she noticed his bottom lip quivering. He knew what that did to her. He pinned her with those heartbreaking brown eyes of his, which shone with emotion, and she felt her heart thaw just a little bit. Sighing, she grabbed a couple of bread slices to make another sandwich. Shaking her head, she said, “I knew you’d be in bed, tired from work. I shouldn’t have brought them here so late.”

Squinting against the harsh fluorescent light overhead, Andre’s brows furrowed. “So that was the Jey Uso guy, huh?” Delilah nodded, handing him his sandwich as he cringed. “He’s a big dude.”

The wrestler-in-training took a bite of her sandwich, considering the goofy expression on his face and marveling at how attractive he was right at this moment. “He is. And probably pissed off too,” she added. “But don’t worry, I’ll see if I can work something out with him and Tank,” she winked.

“Yeah, I’d appreciate it,” Andre chuckled. From there, a comfortable silence reigned as the couple settled down to have breakfast, each of them stealing secretive glances when the other wasn’t looking. Again, all seemed to be well. The calm manner in which they settled conflicts was something they’d both come to recognize as a key component of their relationship. Sometimes though, Delilah wished she knew how to remain angry with him. Maybe that way, he’d take her more seriously and stop shoving things under the rug like he tended to do a lot.

“So, two hundred dollars, huh? That’s a lot of money you made last night,” Andre commented, wiping stray mayonnaise from his mouth with the corner of his sleeve. “Any idea on how you’re gonna spend it?”

She did have an idea, but she was a bit surprised that he was asking. “Well, I split it in two; one part should be enough for the light bill,” she explained, “I confirmed that the deposit for the hall we’re renting for the wedding is covered, so we good on that front. I’m goin’ grocery shopping after my shift. It’ll be fresh foods for us this time, no canned stuff,” she added with a grin. “And if you’re lucky enough, Mr. Gibson, you might just get a nice, juicy steak for dinner.“

Licking his lips, Andre rubbed his hands together. "Hmm, that sounds like a plan, my love,” he said, checking his watch, then grabbing his car keys from the counter and moving towards his wife-to-be. Delilah was taken by surprise as he scooped her lips with his, seemingly determined to savor her delicious taste before he ventured off for the day. 

“I love you, babe,” he murmured against her lips, his calloused hands leaving her slender waist to squeeze her backside. “It’s Dee & Dre forever, you know that right?”

Delilah squealed lightly, pushing him away and handing him his backpack. “I love you too. Dee & Dre forever,” she repeated, grinning when he kissed her one more time. She watched as he headed towards the front door. Then, he stopped and turned, a small smile on his gorgeous face.

“I’m glad you did well last night. This wrestling thing might not be so bad, ya know,” he said, the sincerity in his eyes making Delilah swoon inside.

“Thanks,” she accepted the compliment with a blush, staring at the door as it shut behind him. Clearly Andre was having a change of heart. Maybe he would come around after all.

By the time she finished cleaning up the kitchen, Delilah’s body was crying out for her bed. She had only a few more hours to get some sleep before she had to be at the grocery store for her first job of the day. As her head hit her bed once again, she dreamed of replacing her rather meager paycheck for the much larger one she was guaranteed to receive as a WWE Superstar.

Seven a.m. rolled around faster than five did, and this time, it was the ringing of her phone that woke her up. Groggy and annoyed, she answered. “Hello?”

“Mornin’ baby girl. Did I wake you?”

Squinting, Delilah stared at the unidentified number on her phone, wracking her still sleepy brain for the owner of the deep, unfamiliar baritone voice. Putting her phone back to her ear, she demanded, “Who is this?”

“Damn girl, did you lose my number already?” the deep, yet soft voice responded teasingly. 

Heaving a sigh of relief as her brain finally sparked to life, Delilah slumped back against the pillows. "Jesus, Josh. You kinda scared me. What’s with the sexy creepy mystery voice this early in the morning?”

"Hmm, you think I’m sexy, huh?”

The mischievous tone of his voice reemerged, and Delilah shook her head and sighed. “Homie, I said sexy and creepy,” she reminded him. “That ain’t no compliment. That’s like being compared to a stalker. Or a serial killer.”

This time, Josh laughed out loud. “What the fuck kinda analogy is that? I ain’t never had no female compare me to a stalker before, or a serial killer for that matter,” he said.

“Yeah, well, you sound like that, so think about that next time you go around making wake up calls with no warning,” she retorted. 

“Everything okay?” Josh questioned, his previous playful tone morphing into concern. “You sound a lil' agitated.”

There were a lot of reasons to be agitated. Like for one, why he was calling her so early in the morning. If Andre would take kindly to another man hitting her up like this. After a brief moment of silence, along with her sleepy brain finally catching up with events, she replied, “I’m fine. So, is there a reason you’re calling or was it just to scare me shitless?“

"There’s a reason, sweetheart, take it easy,” Josh responded.

“Spit it out then.”

“Dee, relax, damn,” he reprimanded her softly. “You ever watched a WWE pay-per-view live before?”

She walked around the bedroom, getting her things ready for the day. “What, like on cable? Many times, yeah. Why?”

Josh chuckled. “A’ight, let me rephrase that. I meant have you ever been to a live event before? Like in an arena or a stadium?”

“No. Never. I had a few chances as an adult but I was always busy.” In reality, she couldn’t afford to go. Her limited income was always eager to remind her how expensive tickets were. She couldn’t even afford to give away ten dollars a month for the WWE Network. She always recalled the year 2018 with a hint of sadness. WrestleMania 34 had been only a three-hour drive from Pensacola, but the tickets were much too steep to even think of making that drive. The show ended up being one of the more memorable Manias, and it was one of the numerous times she regretted her and Andre’s financial difficulties.  

“Raw is in Panama City in two weeks,” the Samoan informed her. “I was wondering if you would be interested in attending. You and your fiancé of course,” he added quickly, as though to prevent her from getting the wrong idea. “Both o’ y’all will be there as my guests.”

Delilah stopped in her tracks, trying to digest this tantalizing offer. “Wait, really? You’re inviting us personally?”

“Why not? I thought it’d be something you’d wanna see.”

“I totally do. That’s so kind of you. I gotta talk to Dre first, but I’d love to be there. Definitely.”

“Great, I’ll make the arrangements for the tickets,” Josh responded, and she noticed the relief in his voice. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your beauty sleep,” he went back to teasing her, “I look forward to seeing you in two weeks, Delilah.”

Fuck. The way he said her name though. She thought back to the way the L’s rolled off his tongue whenever he pronounced them, in such a seductively lethal manner, coupled with the sensual twinkle in his eye…

Suddenly she felt a little heated and flushed, despite the air-conditioning. Willing away the fluttering in her chest, she gripped her phone a little tighter. “Can’t wait. Take care,” she whispered, mumbling a goodbye and hanging up. She breathed deeply and tilted her head up, lost in thought. That was done. Now all she had to do was convince Andre that they could afford to spend a few days in Panama City. But more importantly, convince herself that she was only looking forward to the live event in two weeks and nothing else.

————-

Thoughts?

Banner made by me. Credit to the owners of the pics and gifs.

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[bibli0thecary]

Lose The One 

pairing (s): marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

summary: this is a part two to glimpse of us

word count: 6.6k

moon knight masterlist

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

The queasy feeling in your heart should’ve been able to stop you from going to their home. The unexplainable anxiety boiling in your chest should’ve been able to make you stay in the comfort of your bed, instead of standing in front of their door, which was left ajar. The confusion bubbling in your mind should’ve been able to tell you that nothing good was happening. 

You should’ve walked away, then perhaps your heart could still be saved. 

But curiosity and worry struck you in the heart, and with a leap of faith, you walked into their home. Deciding against calling out their names— whoever was fronting at the time— You stayed silent.

Then you heard his voice, Steven’s, in the bathroom. A soft smile grew on your face, as you could tell he was having a conversation with Marc and Jake. You had encountered it a few times before, whether it was just them having a civil conversation or arguing about things that did not matter.

Walking closer towards the bathroom, you thought it was just a fun banter between them, the one which could entertain you as you thought they were being adorable—But you had never been so wrong in your entire life.

“I’m not letting you break her heart, Marc!”

Steven’s voice was dripping with fury, and you had never heard him speak that way before. A part of you was telling you to leave, but another was telling you stay and listen, and when you heard your name spilling from his mouth, you knew they were talking about you and there was no way you wanted to leave now.

“We— We’re protecting her. That’s what we are doing.”

Steven was unsure, and it was clear from the way his voice wavered, but he still stood firm on what he believed in. You had no idea what Marc was telling him, and you wished you could hear what was making Steven so angry. 

“We are not telling her the truth. She would leave.” 

The words came out as a whisper, and you would have went to him to give him a hug if he did not let out a scoff, glaring at the mirror as if it was the most sickening sight he had ever laid his eyes on.

“She would leave if she knows we have been lying to her, Marc.”

At his words, something inside of you recoiled in pain. You did not know if you could listen to him any longer, but it was as if your feet was glued to the floor, and you could not leave. 

“Do you really want to tell her that we have been using her? That we have never really loved her the way she thinks we do?”

You had never experienced heartbreak before. You always wondered how terrible it must be, to let someone have a hold over your fragile heart, and to watch as they drop it on the ground, stomping it with their own bare feet. Now that Steven’s words rang in your head, you knew how painful it was. How terrifying it was. 

They did not love you the way you thought they did.

“She’s so kind to us, so loving, so perfect. We can’t tell her the truth. It would break her heart. I don’t want to hurt her, Marc.”

You had to bit the inside of your cheeks, holding back a sob that was crawling out of your tightened throat. The truth that they were lying to you, making you believe that they loved you to death was presented before you, and you wanted to scream at Steven for trying not to break your heart, when that was all he ever did. 

All these times, Steven was the one who had been hurting you in silence. You could not believe it. Never once did he forget to tell you that he loved you, and you ate up every single lie he fed you with. He was always careful with his touches, gentle with every kisses. He could never be the reason behind your tears. 

If they did not love you, then why would they pretend as if you were everything to them? 

“We need her, Marc. We would die without her.” 

The desperation in Steven’s voice was the answer you needed. They were keeping you for their own selfish reasons. Hot tears boiled in your eyes, and you felt like you were walking on a burning tightrope. They were everything to you. Everything.

A lone tear rolled down upon your face, watching as Marc took over from Steven who was close to tears. You almost let out a scoff, it was funny to see how he was the one who was betraying your trust, and yet he acted as if he was the betrayed one. He had manipulated you into believing that he was the sweetest among them, and you had fallen for it foolishly. 

“We are telling her the truth, Steven. We have to.” 

Marc was determined, as the truth was starting to haunt him in his dreams, like a shadow looming over him and trying to swallow him whole one day if he kept  on going like this— Lying and pretending to be in love with you when his heart had never been yours to keep.  

“I know you love her, Jake. But Steven and I don’t.” 

That was it. To hear it from Marc was like having him stab you in the heart, watching as it cracked and bled. A strangled sob escaped your lips, and you found yourself crying as everything came to you in a flash— Reminding you that everything they did and everything they said meant nothing to them when it meant the world to you. 

They were your whole world. 

“Y/N?”

Your sorrowful cries alerted Marc, and it ruined him when he saw you crying there, realising that you had heard everything. There was no turning back now. He had broken your heart, and you were going to hate him— Hate them. 

“I trusted you, Marc. I trusted all of you.” 

You were not screaming, and somehow Marc wished you were. Perhaps it would take the guilt off of his shoulders a bit if you showed him how furious you were. But you were holding it back, and all he could see when he looked you in the eyes was disappointment. 

“Y/N, we need you. I need you.”

He still had the audacity to tell you that he needed you when he lied to you, acting like you were the one he loved, when you meant nothing but source of comfort to him. You could not believe that you were gullible enough to let them lie to you like this. 

“You need me but you don’t want me. Is that what you’re trying to say?”

The disgust in your voice was enough to make him wince. You had never talked to him that way before. Not to him, not to Steven or Jake. You were always gentle with them, that sometimes he wondered if there was even an ounce of wrath in you. It seemed like he managed to bring it out of you, and he despised it. 

“You have never really loved me. Is that true?” 

Knowing the dreadful truth was going to kill you, but you had been living in lies for so long that you felt like you needed the truth to breathe. A piece of you wanted to strangle Marc when he let out a wistful sigh, the truth felt bitter on his tongue.

“I thought I loved you. But I didn’t.” 

He would forever be grateful of your presence in his life, that he would never lie to you about. When his wife had finally had enough, Marc thought it was the end of it, that he would never have someone who could love him like she did. But then he found you, or rather you found him— And you could love him more than she ever did. 

He wanted to feel your love and affection even if he knew there was no home for you in his heart. He could not live without you asking him if he was alright, he could not go on about his day without you sending him cute little messages throughout the day, and he could not sleep without holding you safe in his arms. 

When he realised he was not in love, it wrecked him. He wanted to be in love with you, truly he did. 

Marc knew nothing could excuse his mistake. He was greedy and selfish, loving the idea of you loving him so much that he would sacrifice your own heart for his needs. He deserved every single hatred you were going to throw on him, and he would understand. 

“You’re keeping me sane. You’re my reason, sweetheart. That’s why I lied to you, hoping that you would stay.” 

A fresh wave of tears streamed down your face, and as much as you wanted to walk away— You knew there was more. You needed to hear more from them, as they had been showering you in lies for far too long. You wanted to stop becoming the idiot in their story.

“You were planning to tell me, weren’t you?”

Marc nodded, holding back his tears as he knew he should’ve told you sooner. He was too consumed by his own selfish needs, that he disregarded the fact that you deserved to know the truth. You did not deserve to be in a loveless relationship. 

“I finally realised that you deserve to know. I can’t sleep knowing that I’m lying to the only person who sees her future with me. I can’t do that to you.”

He did not know what would happen now that the truth was revealed. Marc could already see you leaving him, and he would fall into a pit of sorrow and he would have no one to catch him. A life without you sounded so horrendous, but it was what he deserved. 

“I thought you were the one for me, Marc.”

He clenched his jaw, not wanting to break into tears in front of you. He was the one who was hurting you, and he did not want to make it seem like you were to be blamed. You always did that— Taking the blame for him when you should not. It was what keeping the fabricated relationship alive. 

“You were so distant and I thought I did something wrong. You never told me what it was, and you kept telling me that you loved me. Do you ever look at me and think of how stupid I am to be falling for your lies?”

Marc shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. He had never thought you as stupid. Every time he lied to you, he would see the way your eyes lightened up, and it was a look of nothing but love. You were so in love with him, foolishly so, but he was the stupid one. He was the one who was imprudent enough not to love you when he had the chance. 

Before he could tell you about his regrets, you saw the changes in his posture and the look in his eyes. You knew them too well to know who was fronting— Steven Grant. You used to give him your biggest smile, your warmest hug and your softest touch. But now you found yourself taking a few steps back, as if his presence was burning you. 

And Steven noticed that, of course, he did. He was not greeted with your sweet laughter or your loving hugs. Instead, he was met with you scowling at him, putting your distance with him like he was a stranger who could hurt you. It hurt him terribly but then he looked at your red and swollen eyes, realising that you were hurt, too.

“Love, please listen to me. I love you—“

“How dare you? You don’t love me, Steven. Stop lying!”

If you were not screaming before, you surely were screaming now. Frustration and anger were building up in your chest, waiting for the right time to be let out. Steven’s declaration of love was the only push you needed to show them how wretched you were. 

“Stop saying you love me when you don’t!”

He was not expecting you to yell at him. He thought if he took over from Marc, he could talk some sense into you, and perhaps he could make you stay with them. It was unwise of him to think that you would melt at the sight of him, when you already knew he was a liar. You were done being used by the man who you loved with all of your heart. 

“I love you, and it is not a lie. It’s just.. It’s just that I love her more.”

Steven said, shredding your heart into pieces, and you could feel the pain, crawling and tugging in your chest. Somehow knowing that Marc had never loved you was better than this. To hear that Steven loved somebody else, it painted your world in blue.

“I’m sorry, love. You’re perfect. You’re everything we need but—“

“But I’m not her.”

The breaking in your voice was enough to send him to tears. He did not even bother to stop himself from crying as the reality hit him hard, that you knew he was pretending to be in love with you, when his heart was hers from the start. You, the only person who could calm the storm in his head, now could not care less about him anymore. 

“Please don’t leave me.”

He begged, not caring at how pathetic he sounded, or the way Marc was scolding him in his head. He knew he did not deserve to be forgiven, and he should not asked you to stay, but he wanted you to stay with him. A piece of him still thought that he was the only person who could never hurt you, and that you were crying because of Marc and not him. 

How could he live without you? You were the comfort he needed. When you fell in love with him, he felt like the world was his. He never thought someone could love him as much as you did. You had so much love to give, and you never stopped showing him how in love you were with him. 

He saw the way you looked at Marc, and he saw the way you looked at Jake. You loved them endlessly, but Steven was convinced you loved him the most. You always gazed at him like he decorated the night skies with the brightest stars for you. He was the one for you. 

He always knew what to do and say to make you smile, and he took pride in making you happy. It was not like he was competing with Marc and Jake, but he wanted to be the one who make you the happiest in his presence. He lived to see your smile, and the sight of your tears hurt his soul, even if he was not the one who made you so distraught. 

“I love you.”

He said, once again, hoping that you would see that he could not go on with his life without you by his side. He was so used to having you with him, and he could see his downfall if you were not there to support him. His heart was hers, but he loved you, and it was always enough for you before. 

“You see her every time you’re with me, Steven. I’m everything she’s not and you want more. I’m just an understudy to you. That’s not love.”

You spat, thinking of the time when you put him on top, never once did you see him as someone who was using you for his own good. Steven tried to reach out for you, but you slapped his hand away, and that was when he knew nothing could stop you from leaving them. 

“How could you make me believe that you love me when you always think of her? Why would you do this to me, Steven?”

Your questions were left unanswered, as Steven could only shake his head, not knowing how to explain it to you. He did not know why did he do this to you, since you deserved so much more than to be with a liar. You were destined for happiness, and yet, he was robbing you from it. 

“I was being selfish.” 

The truth stung, but it had to be said, and he knew it was the answer you were looking for when you nodded weakly. Steven was known for pleasing you, worshipping the ground you walked on, loving you even on your worst days— But now you knew it was all a play pretend so he could keep you with him. 

He was pretending to love you, and nothing hurt more than being betrayed by the love of your life. 

“I hate you, Steven.”

The words rolled out of your tongue easily, that Steven flinched, shaking his head violently. No, you were not supposed to hate him. But there was no remorse in your eyes, and he knew you meant everything you said. You wanted to hurt him, and it was working. 

“Don’t— Don’t say that, love. You’re hurting me.”

Your heart would break at the sound of his devastation, but it was already shattered, hence you could only scoff at him, watching as tears spilled from his eyes. To see Steven’s crying was torturing you, but then again, he deserved to cry himself to sleep every night from now on. And he would no longer have you to wipe his tears away. 

He was not in love with you. He only loved the idea of being the good boyfriend you thought he was. The one who could make you find a way to make you laugh when you were on the verge of tears, the one who could make you smile when you were falling apart. 

In return, you loved him so much that you thanked the stars every night for letting you to be with a good man like him. 

“I wish I never fell in love with you, Steven.”

The words broke the last scaffolding holding you together, and more tears broke free with the anguish you had been keeping in. You wished you could turn back time, and maybe you could be saved from this sullen heartbreak. You shouldn’t have met Marc. You should’ve run when you still had the chance. 

The aching in your chest was growing, and you knew you had to leave. You could not bear the sight of him anymore, no matter who was fronting. Suddenly you felt so alone. The truth was like you against them. All of these times you have been the idiotic fool in their mess, letting yourself drowned by their beautiful lies. 

You were nothing but a pawn in their wicked game.

You were heading towards the door, heart heavy in your chest when he grabbed your wrist, stopping you from walking out of the door. You recognised the touch, it was not as gentle as Steven’s, but it was not as harsh as Marc’s. His touch always sent warmth rising in your chest, and it felt like your torn heart was stitching itself back together. 

“Jake, let me go.”

There was so much to say, your words died down in your throat. You wanted to lash out on him, but when you turned around to look at him, the world around you crumbled helplessly. You had never seen the man so miserable before, that it took everything in you not to give in and fall into his arms. 

“Forgive me, mi sol.” 

You were his sun. Jake felt like air was forced out of his lungs, seeing you with tears on your face, knowing that he was a part of the reasons behind every drop of them. You, who always had a bright smile on your lips, and it was replaced with a sad frown. The blinding gleam in your eyes had shimmered into glistening tears. 

He could not bear witness of the dying light in your soul. He had to save you, the way you saved him from losing himself to the darkness. 

“Was any of it real?”

Your question was like a punch to his gut. He felt weak on his knees. It was like his muscles were ripped out of his bones. The pain was nothing like he had felt before. You were doubting his love for you, when he was the one who poured his heart and soul into everything he did and said.

“Of course, it was real. I would never lie to you.”

“Never?”

Jake stiffened at how cold you sounded. He bit his tongue, knowing that he did lie to you, when he hid the fact that Marc and Steven were only using you. He lied to you when he knew they were betraying your trust. He lied to you in order to protect Marc and Steven, hurting you in the process. 

“Do you think I deserved it, Jake?”

With every word, it was intended to hurt him, and you did not even think twice as you wanted him to feel as hurt as you. Jake could only looked at you, knowing that he did this to you. He was losing the love of his life. 

“I love you so much, Jake. I love you…”

Your defeated whispers were tormenting him. It hurt him to think that he would never get to hear those words again from you, and now he was going to remember the way you said them with trembling lips and teary eyes. He was going to remember how disappointed you were with him. 

“I love you, Y/N. I swear I do.”

He said, pulling you into his arms as you let out the most heartbreaking cry he had ever heard. A great tremor overtook your body as you cried, and he let you, knowing that perhaps it could be the last time he would have the chance to hold and comfort you. He was losing you.

“Do you really love me? Please tell me the truth.”

You hated how frail you sounded, but your heart would not be able to take another lie. 

“I love you so much, princesa.”

His words were like a heavy chain, binding your soul to his. For a moment, you let yourself dream of what it would be like if it was only you and him. Perhaps you could still forgive him and let it go, but you knew it was impossible for you to forget everything when your heart was crushed mercilessly. 

“I know it’s hard for you to believe me. But I’m not lying when I say I love you.”

Jake did not know what to do to convince you that he was being truthful. Fear was suffocating him, and he started to feel lost, finding no love in your gaze on him. It was full of doubts, and he loathed it. 

“Did you know that they were using me?”

His grip around your waist loosened, and he did not need to say anything to tell you that he knew everything. He was aware that Marc only needed you to ground him, to make him feel like a person who could be loved and cared for. He saw that Steven only needed you to comfort him, when the world was far too cruel for him to endure. Jake was the missing piece of the puzzle of your heartbreak. 

“You knew, Jake. You let them hurt me.”

You hissed, getting out of his grasp as if his touch burned your skin. It tugged on his heartstrings when he realised that you were right. He claimed to love you, but then he allowed them to use you like you meant nothing to him. He said he was in love with you, but still he watched as they toyed with your feelings. 

“If I told you the truth, then you would leave us. Marc and Steven would be a mess without you. I was only protecting them.” 

He sounded like a complete jerk, saying that to you. And your next words was more painful than taking a bullet through his skull. 

“Wasn’t I worth protecting too?”

The raindrops on the window were like tears falling down your cheeks. It should bother you of how cold you were getting, but you felt like you were shivering out of anger. You wanted to scream at them, hitting them, or trashing their home, but now the sound of the rain was the only thing you could focus on. 

You did not even realise Jake was coming closer, not until you felt his lips on your head. The familiar feeling of warmth and adoration were creeping in, but they were quickly flushed down by your dejection. He did not protect your heart like he promised to. 

“I know you don’t deserve to be betrayed like this. I was scared that I would lose you. If you knew, you would leave me because you can see them when you look at me. I love you too much to live without you, mi sol.”

He was not good with words, but he needed you to hear everything he had to say, no matter how mundane it might be to you. You were important to him, and he would do anything to make you believe that he loved you. He wanted you to know that you were the only one for him. 

“My heart is yours."

You shook your head, not believing a word he said anymore. You could see regret in his eyes, but it was hard for you to think that Jake was not lying to you too. You could tell that he was dying to touch you, wanting to hold you and never let go, but he was frightened that you would push him away and it would break him. 

“I wish I could go back to a time when I believe every word you say.”

Your wounding words was like a slap to his face. Tears trickled down his face, and he did not even bother to wipe them away as he kept his eyes on you, the person who owned his heart and soul. 

“The least you could do was tell me the truth.”

He could only nod, ignoring the pain in his chest. He wished he could fix this, but he did not know how. The hurt in your eyes was enough to tell him that he had broken your heart, and you were not going to let him put it back together again. 

“The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you, mi corazón. I was wrong for lying to you.”

You would never forget how loving Jake was to you. He was a difficult man to deal with at the beginning, who did not talk much and he only glanced at you whenever he wanted to. He never cared much, but he never did anything to irritate you. He always noticed when you were uncomfortable or sad, letting Marc or Steven front so they could help you. 

When he fell in love with you, you realised he was such a passionate lover. He always put you before him in everything. You were his priority. He noticed every little things you did, giving compliments when you were not expecting him to, and even if he felt like he did not deserve your love, you finally made him believe that nothing could stop you from loving him. 

If Steven got you flowers because he felt like it was something that he should do, Jake got you flowers because you deserved to have flowers. He loved the way you would smile so big that it reached your eyes, and you would give him the best hug he had ever received in his whole life. 

Roses and lilies were more like Steven and Marc’s type of flowers to give, and at first, Jake imitated them. But then he realised it would make you happier if it was personalised and thoughtful, and so he got you sunflowers. He would remember it forever that the sunflowers matched your yellow dress, and it almost made you cry out of happiness. 

He had also stopped by at someone’s garden one day, as he accidentally saw beautiful flowers and he was immediately reminded of you. He knew he could just grab them and leave, but thinking that he was doing it for you, he knocked on the door and talked politely to the elderly woman who seemed to be more than glad to give them to him when he told her about you.

“You’re so in love with her. Are you going to marry her?”

The lady’s question crossed his mind again and again like a broken record when he was on his way home. Then he gave the flowers to you, smiling when you squealed like a little girl who got a candy. At the moment, he thought, he wanted to marry you. Yes, he wanted a life with you. 

Jake was shook from his train of thoughts, stopping himself from being haunted by the ghosts of everything that should have been but will never be. Gone were the days when he could get you flowers. Gone were the days when he could think about how happy you would be if he asks you to marry him.

“Maybe if you told me the truth, things would be different.”

The guilt. Jake could feel it seeping through his bones. But with his growing guilt and regret, came a forceful and compelling need to make it up to you, to make sure that you get the life you deserved to get. It impaired him to think that in order to let you have your happiness, he had to let you go. 

“Do you want to say goodbye to them?”

“No, I don’t want to see them ever again.”

You said, biting and bitter. Jake inhaled sharply, realising how agonising it was for you to look at him now, when you could also see Marc and Steven in him. But you did it because you loved him, and even if you did not say it, you believed that Jake truly loved you. You believed him. 

“I love you, mi sol.”

You gave him a soft smile, biting the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from saying it back to him. You had been hurt, and you could not let yourself fall for it again, no matter how genuine he was. You wished you could tell him how much you loved him, but it would only make things harder. 

“You’re a good man, Jake. Take care of yourself.”

And then you were gone. The future he was going to share with you vanished into the thin air. Everything was changing. You were no longer there with him, with them. You had left, and even with Marc and Steven’s voices ringing in his head, he had never felt so alone. 

He was afraid. His heart was empty and his mind was messy. He had to live without you. 

“We’re going to be okay, Jake.”

Marc was wrong. He was trying to convince Jake that everything was going to fall back into place, but deep down, he knew it was impossible. There was no way they could have a better life than the one they used to have with you. The life they shared with you was like a dream, and now they were living in a nightmare. 

They fought. A lot. It hurt them whenever they fought even at the smallest of things, because the argument would always spiral back to you. They would end up talking about you. They would reminisce the times when you were still with them. They would blame each other for your absence. 

They needed you. They wanted you. 

Marc watched you from afar. He felt like it was his obligation to make sure that you got home safe from work. If he could not walk you home at night like he used to, then the least he could do was protect you as much as he could. He would never forgive himself is something bad happened to you.

But then one day you saw him. And you had asked him to stop. He did. 

Steven wrote you love letters. It was a thing between you and him. Your love resonated with every word written on the paper, and Steven could not stop himself from writing to you like  he used to. It was his way of coping with your absence. 

He never sent the letters to you. He knew you would burn them. And so he did it himself, watching as the letters turned into ashes. 

Jake never stopped with the flowers. He left flowers on your doorstep every Monday, knowing that you were always grouchy on the particular day, and perhaps the flowers could make you smile. The first time you found the sunflowers, you immediately knew that it was from him. They went straight to the trash. 

After a few months, the flowers stopped coming. Jake knew it was hopeless.

A year passed by and they were still inconsolable.

They could only hope that you were doing fine without them. They had hurt you deeply, and they knew there was nothing they could do to make you come back. You were better off without them, but sometimes they let themselves dream of how amazing it would be if they were given another chance to love you. 

The dream faded away when they saw you that day. 

You were walking with a spring in your step, your smile was as bright as the sun that it sent a smile on Marc’s face. He missed your smile so much, and the way Steven and Jake grew quiet in his head was telling him that they were awe-struck to see you too. It had been too long. 

“She looks happy.”

Marc muttered, torn in between leaving or approaching you. As he was  busy contemplating, his eyes caught the sight of a man who was coming towards you, Instinctively, Marc thought the man was suspicious and he had ill intentions. However, he stopped dead on his tracks when you ran into the man’s arms, the smile had never fallen from your face. 

You were on a date with that man. 

They went full on detective mode after that, finding out any dubious information about him. They were worried, and mostly jealous, but their main focus was to keep you safe and happy. They should not have been flabbergasted to see that your new boyfriend’s record was clean. 

He never did anything disreputable. He owned a small company, and even if it was  still new, his pay check was definitely better than theirs. He lived a safe life, far from danger unlike them who crossed with death almost every night. He could give you a much better life than they could ever do. 

Somehow Steven managed to talk to his acquaintances, and he thought that maybe  he could prove that your boyfriend was not as good as he seemed to be. But they only talked good things about him. They told Steven about how kind and loving your boyfriend was, and that they had seen him with you a few times. His friends really believed that you were meant for each other, like soulmates— Steven had to force a smile at that. 

The second time they saw you with him at the coffee shop, Jake was fronting. He would be lying if he was not hurt, but he wanted you to be happy. He would do anything to make you happy, even if it meant sacrificing his own feelings for you. 

Before he could stop himself, he was walking towards you who was waiting for your boyfriend. You looked so pretty. A tinge of jealousy hit him, thinking of how lucky the man was to be loved by such a perfect person. 

The smell of coffee overwhelmed his senses. He could not think of what to say to you, but still, he dragged his feet towards you. He did not even realise what he was doing until he saw your smile dropped, but you quickly pulled yourself together and faked a smile. 

“What are you doing here?”

Cold. He thought that maybe after a year, you had forgiven them. He thought that maybe, just maybe, you could be friends again. 

“Are you happy?”

He asked, hating that the tone of your voice did not match the sweet smile on your lips. He recognised that it was not genuine. He had seen you smile so many times that he could tell you were trying so hard not to frown at him. 

“Please tell me. Are you happy?”

That was the only concern in his mind right now. He could not care less that you found someone else to love. You deserved every good thing in this world. You deserved to be loved. You deserved to be happy.

“I’m happy, Jake.”

This time, you gave him a genuine smile. His heart fluttered when you smiled, and he nodded. He knew your boyfriend was going to be there soon and he did not want to bother you. He had his chance, and he blew it. He was not going to ruin it for you. 

“That’s all I need to know. You deserve all the happiness in the world, cariño.”

With a bruised heart, he walked away from you, letting you go for real this time. He could hear Marc and Steven disagreeing with what he did, believing that they still had the opportunity to fix the damage they had caused to your precious heart. But Jake knew you better than they could ever do, and he knew he was doing the right thing by letting you go.

Despite of his acceptance, Jake was still fuming with resentment. He loved you, and now he had lost you because of Marc and Steven. For a year, he had been holding back, not wanting to blame his alters no matter how much he wanted to. But now that he saw another man was making you happy, the way he did before if not more, he was letting it all out. 

“Both of you ruined our life. You made her leave. You did this to us.”

Jake let his heart be blinded by love, and his mind be clouded by rage. Nothing they say could change his mind as he was getting out of control. You made him realise that he had a heart, but now you had taken it along with you, leaving his chest with a void that only you could fill.  His anger sunk deeper, gripping like claws, embedding so deep that he doubted the scars would ever heal. 

He had let Marc and Steven decide for him for far too long now, ending up destroying the only good thing he had to hold on to. The only person he had his eyes on. The only love he wanted to have. Not anymore. 

It was his turn to orchestrate their life now, and he chose guns and blood, the way it was before you.  Needless to say, Marc and Steven were not going to get the body in a very, very long time. 

.•° ✿ °•. .•° ✿ °•. .•° ✿ °•.

taglist for glimpse of us part two: @brekkers-desigirl @whosethatgurlitsjess @golddustswoman @aestheticpisces @suchahautemess @spicydonut25 @jupitersmoon167 @lana-isabelle @rosaren2498 @n0ripeaches @unspokenmoon @mccn-bcys @rmoonstoner @guiltofpleasures @bxmxtx @timeless-crow @harrys-tittie @enter-clever-and-witty-url-here @outlawedmando @ahoytherebean @rellasnowheenim @pascalsism @lovelyladymayyy @galeroseb @nixonvandelheim @itsmadamehydra @zelspktr @pri00r @ninebluehearts @in-between-the-cafes @carlanee2000 @dyxshit @hypnoinstaxartcloud @kestrel2001 @iamlost @constanza1000 @manicchii @urforevermore @strangespinapple @justyourwritter69 @killerninjaapanda @justyourlocals1mp @alexisabirdie @llvcy @8hgel @lluckpng @imhereforoscarisaac @glimpseoff @lovely-pineapples @jade-sucker-for-steven @memoirsofxangel @noodle81937 @snacswell @potatodaddy @justsumtuffstuff

i tagged the people who commented on the previous part. please message me if you want to be removed. thanks!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my ex-fiance not to hang out with my little sister?

I (24F) recently broke up with my boyfriend/fiance of five years B (29M). He has always been close to my younger sister S (16F) and she considers him an older brother. The breakup was amicable for the most part and since B is really close to my family and doesn't have much family of his own, initially I was fine with him continuing to hang around. I am currently living out of state, so I don't have to see him. It didn't bother me to know he was hanging out in my parent’s house or anything. He has also been picking my little sister S up from school since he works at the school and it’s easy for him to drive her home every day. However, I found out from my mom that he has recently started taking her places like McDonalds and Starbucks after school, buying her food or whatever, essentially spending a lot of time with her. I told my mom I wasn’t comfortable with that, and I told B, as well. He was obviously annoyed but said he would respect my boundaries. S is angry about the situation, though. She says I’m being selfish and making things weird, he’s like a brother to her, etc.

But the problem I have with it is more complicated. My family didn’t originally know all the details of the breakup. They thought it was just because I moved out of state for grad school. But it also has to do with some pretty major lies B admitted to shortly before I moved away. One lie had to do with the fact that he’d been married before and wasn’t even sure if he was legally divorced or not. I had no idea about any of it. Needless to say he lost my trust. I also remember when our relationship first started, he told me that his last relationship ended because he “fell out of love with his girlfriend and started having feelings for her younger sister.” I had never thought about it too much before, but now I think the younger sister in question might have been underage, just based on some other casual remarks and context clues. Obviously, I am worried the same thing is happening with my sister. I definitely don’t trust him as much as I used to, but I don’t think he would do anything inappropriate… but I don’t know…. I’ve started questioning a lot of things that happened over the years that might have been red flags I ignored at the time. Clearly he’s capable of deception. I just don’t trust him anymore and I don’t want him around my sister (or any of my family, really). I explained my reservations to both my mom and my sister – my mom agrees with me, but my sister does not, and she thinks we’re being unfair and mean to him. I’m certainly not going to change my mind and if that makes me the asshole, so be it. But I am curious to hear the opinions of non-biased people. So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[little-diable]

The Ghost of Christmas Present - Dean Winchester

Part 2 of my Christmas series! A big thank you to @deathofpeaceofmind for writing the ghost part, I simply love working with you, Vi! Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Dean had pushed the reader away many months ago, thinking she was better off without him, but when a strange dream pushes her back towards him, Dean can't help but fight for their love.

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, oral (f), some angst, some mentioned heartbreak, small fake dating part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (2.3k words)

headerby @deathofpeaceofmind

Series Masterlist

Snow kept falling from the sky, white flakes that rested on Baby’s windshield. A sigh left Dean, eyes flickering between the falling flakes and his phone, thumb hovering over her contact. Fuck, what was he thinking? She wouldn’t pick up, especially not on Christmas Eve. 

It was his own fault, he had pushed her away, he had told her to go, he had picked his selfish ego over (y/n) and her warm, loving heart.

But now he felt awfully alone without her near. Dean had never been one for celebrating Christmas, had never been one for dwelling over old days he couldn’t relive, especially since she had always been right there to distract him. Until the day she no longer was. Dean had watched (y/n) leave with teary eyes, had watched her drive off into the night as Sam’s angry words kept ringing in his ears.

It was his own fault, he had been too scared, he had decided to run away from the love he felt for her, he had picked his loneliness over a life with (y/n) by his side.

For a few moments Dean kept staring at his bright phone screen, wondering if he could give it a try, wondering if she’d perhaps pick up the call, but before he could call her he locked his phone, throwing it onto the backseat. He reached for a bottle of beer, popping open the lid to drown some heavy gulps. Dean didn’t have the right to feel lonely, he had told Sam that he could celebrate it with his current fling, he had told the people caring about him that he didn’t want to be around anybody. But fuck, he hadn’t ever felt this lonely before.

Dean had to cuddle further into his jacket, hiding away from the biting cold as he redirected his gaze to the falling snow, it was his own goddamn fault for being stuck in this mess. He could still hear the angry words he had spoken to her, could still hear the begging words (y/n) had whispered, confessing her love to the man who had stared her down with a stoic gaze. 

Fuck, how he had wanted to wrap her in his arms, to repeat the loving three words he had been longing to speak for years, but deep down Dean knew that she deserved better, a man who’d always stay with her, a man to settle down with, not somebody like Dean, definitely not somebody like Dean. 

He finished his beer with another sigh, eyes fluttering close as he sank further into the seat, perhaps he could simply sleep this night away, perhaps he could forget about her for at least a few hours. And with one last murmur of (y/n)’s name, Dean gave into sleep’s call of his name. 

……

As Dean fell asleep, the world around him shifted. The familiar interior of Baby transformed into a surreal dreamscape. The falling snow outside the windows seemed to dance with an ethereal glow, casting shadows that writhed like ghostly figures in the night.

Suddenly, a hearty laugh echoed through the car. Dean's eyes shot open, a figure, draped in a dark cloak, occupied the passenger seat. The Ghost of Christmas Present, a manifestation that bore both the weight of wisdom and the ephemeral nature of time.

Dean squinted at the figure, his sleepy mind struggling to comprehend what was happening. The ghost turned to him, eyes bright and warm. "Dean Winchester," it spoke, its voice echoing with a resonance that seemed to reach into the depths of Dean's soul.

"What the hell is this?" Dean mumbled, still unsure if he was trapped in some cosmic dream or if the beer had taken a more mystical turn.

The ghost's features shifted, its face taking on a familiar visage — a mix of (y/n)'s warmth and the sternness of his own regrets. "You've let love slip through your fingers, Dean. You pushed it away, denied it, and now you find yourself drowning in the cold solitude you created."

Dean's heart tightened, the weight of his actions settling in his chest like an anchor. "What do you want from me?" he demanded, the lines between defiance and desperation blurring.

The Ghost of Christmas Present gestured to the snowy expanse outside the Impala. Scenes unfolded like phantom memories — (y/n) leaving, the echoes of her love, and the void that now consumed him. "This is the path you've chosen. Loneliness is your companion, and regret your constant shadow."

As the ghost spoke, the snowflakes seemed to whisper tales of missed chances and unspoken confessions. Dean's eyes, haunted by the memories of his own words, betrayed a vulnerability he tried hard to hide.

"Can't change the past," Dean muttered.

The ghost's eyes bore into him with a knowing intensity. "But you can shape the future, Dean Winchester. The present is a gift."

With those words, the dreamlike scene dissolved, and Dean found himself once again in the familiar warmth of Baby. The ghost was gone, leaving him alone with his thoughts and a heavy heart.

As the snow continued to fall outside, Dean stared into the night, contemplating the choices that led him to this point.

……

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Her voice rang in his ears, dripping with annoyance and anger. Dean had to take another step closer, foot stopping her door from falling shut. For a few seconds neither of them spoke, wordlessly conversing with their eyes holding a biting contact, shooting shudders down Dean’s spine.

“Can I come in? Just for a few moments.” He whispered his words, preparing himself for another angry stream of words to leave (y/n). But all she did was stare at him, pondering over her choices before she reached out, tugging him into her home with her hand resting carefully in his bigger one.

“You’ll follow my lead, and if you don’t fuck this up we can speak later.” (Y/n) didn’t give Dean a chance to reply, eyes furrowed in confusion as he was pulled into her living room, taking in unfamiliar faces that looked at him with wide eyes. He barely paid the words (y/n) spoke any attention, explaining to her family that her boyfriend was finally here even after telling her that he was away on a business trip, all he could focus on was the feeling of her warm hand pressed against his. How he had longed for this for the past months, how he had imagined her standing this close, but now the reality felt even better, more loving, even though she was probably full of hatred directed at Dean. 

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you all, sorry for showing up this late.” With a smile thrown his way, Dean was pulled into a hug by (y/n)’s mother, forcing him to let go of (y/n). His eyes met (y/n)’s once again, even though she wore a smile that clearly managed to fool her family, her eyes told a different story, leaving Dean to grow tense once again. He had dug his grave, and now it was on him to crawl out of it once again. 

“Dean, it’s so nice to finally meet you! (Y/n) has told us so much about you, and about all the trips you two took together.” A soft chuckle left Dean as he took the bottle of beer (y/n)’s father reached out for him to take, sharing a smile with the man who was still wearing his jacket, and his snow covered boots, unsure how these next few hours would play out. 

……

“I hate you, so fucking much.” Her words were swallowed by the moan leaving her, head falling back against the kitchen cabinet. (Y/n) was sitting on her counter, thighs spread with Dean buried between them, eating her out as if it was his first time ever tasting a woman. With his arms slung around her thighs, Dean kept her pressed against his face, glistening eyes watching her fall apart. “Fuck, I almost forgot how good you are at this.” 

"You know, I don't think you hate me that much, otherwise you wouldn't have lied to your family." His chuckles vibrated against her skin, forcing yet another moan out of (y/n). She was close, close to letting go with his name rolling off her tongue, no matter how much she’d try to keep the sound bottled in. Dean Winchester had hurt her, more than anybody had hurt her before that, and yet she couldn’t help but ache for him and for his touch, and yet she couldn't help but cling to the memory of her life with Dean and Sam.

“C’mon let go for me, sweetheart, I want you to cum on my tongue first before I fuck you.” With one hand tugging on his roots and the other pressed back against the cabinet she was resting against, (y/n) came. She choked on Dean’s name, allowing her eyes to flutter close as the overly intense sensation thumped through her.

Dean didn’t give her much time to calm down, pulled down from the counter and flipped around. With her front pressed down on the counter she had been sitting on, (y/n) waited for Dean to free his cock, fumbling with his clothes before he momentarily froze. He wanted to speak out, wanted to groan about not having anything on him, but the breathless “I’m still on the pill” she moaned managed to urge him on.

He pushed into her from behind, carefully, needing to adjust just like she did. For a few seconds neither of them moved, breathing through the almost unfamiliar sensation before he pulled out, only to push back in. Dean fucked her against the counter, fingertips digging into her waist, leaving his marks on her.

Their eyes met in her kitchen window, allowing one another to study their features due to the darkness lingering outside and her bright kitchen light illuminating their features. No words left the two, nothing but moans, groans, and cries, sounds they had been longing to hear ever since they’d parted ways.

“Shit, you’re still so fucking tight, I’ll never get used to this.” Dean’s words left her chuckling, clenching around his cock as the sound clawed through her. It took her a few seconds to reply, struggling to speak as her bundle of nerves started pulsing once again, not expecting Dean to sling his arm around her, circling it.

“Didn’t fuck anybody else since I’ve left.” The words weren’t meant as a confession, as a small glimpse into the life she had lived ever since Dean had pushed her away, and yet Dean couldn’t stop his proud smirk from tugging on his lips. She wanted to call him out on his smirk, wanted to remind him to not let her words go to his head, but she couldn’t, ripped away by her arising second high.

Dean could tell that she was close once again, eyes watching his cock disappearing inside of her with every thrust. He pushed her over the edge within seconds, listening to her sweet sounds as he fucked her through her high, letting go of her before he could follow her down the edge. With a moan leaving Dean, he painted her back white, watching his cum stain her skin. 

Both didn’t speak as he reached for a kitchen towel to clean her, still heavily breathing as they redressed. He watched her intently, green eyes following her every move, wondering if she’d lure him into a conversation or if she’d wordlessly throw him out. (Y/n) reached for two cups as she poured both a cup of coffee, leading Dean back into the living room. 

“You wanted to speak to me, so speak.” The sound of Dean clearing his throat echoed through her home, slowly sinking down on the couch next to (y/n). His mind was racing, still torn between the orgasm he had just chased, and the love he still felt for her. 

“I know there’s nothing I can say to take away the pain I pushed through you. I know I don’t deserve your trust or another chance, I know I fucked up.” A hum left (y/n), wordlessly agreeing with the words rolling off his tongue. “But you know better than anybody else that I’m selfish, egoistical. I thought I was helping you with pushing you away, I really did. But maybe I was wrong. I can’t do this without you, (y/n), I just can’t.”

“So, let me get this right. You pushed me away because you were caught up in some self-pity? You broke my heart because you thought you were helping me, saving me? You’re even more dense than I thought Dean Winchester. I always want you, only you. I took it all, the sleepless nights, the hunts, because for me there is only you.”

Dean cupped her cheek before (y/n) could pull away, pressing a soft kiss against her lips with a sigh leaving him. He couldn't let her go, not now, not ever, perhaps he’ll eventually pay the price, but the dream he had been caught in had proven to Dean that she was the one, the one he couldn’t part from.

“It’ll take me a while to forgive you, Dean. But I’m willing to give you another chance, for the sake of Christmas.”