#what is the end goal here with these changes

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Dating in a Dream - Azul Ashengrotto

SUMMARY: What would his dream be like, exactly the same as in the original story, but with the small detail that he is dreaming that you two are dating?

CHARACTERS: Azul Ashengrotto x Reader🐙🦐

TAGS: Fluff; a little angst; GN Reader; In a Relationship (kinda); Kiss; Flirting

WARNING: Spoilers from Book 7 and Azul’s dream (Eng Server)

WORD COUNT: 6.390 words

COMMENTS: This was written as a companion piece to the original dream story, so the parts that are the same as the game are just summarized.

I hope you enjoy🐙

Dating in a Dream: Idia / Epel / Rook / Vil / Kalim / Jamil / Floyd / Jade / (Azul) / ...

“Aether signal tracking successful.” Ortho announces. “We have arrived at the designated coordinates.”

Just like in Jade's dream, you, him, Floyd, Jamil, Ortho, Silver, Sebek, Grim and Idia's tablet appeared in the dream already underwater. You check to see if everyone is there and okay, but Jade wasn't feeling well and ended up vomiting. It seems that Jade has a propensity for the dream-crossing sickness. Meanwhile both Jade and Floyd have switched to their merforms.

“Still, I must admit some surprise.” Jade says. “I wasn't expecting Azul's dream to be set under the sea.”

“And it's our home, the Coral Sea, the least novel place possible.” Floyd adds.

“I was positive Azul's dream would be about him thriving doing business on land.”

The Leeches debate among themselves what this could mean and they think that, like them, Azul got bored on land and decided to expand the Mostro Lounge at the sea. When your group finally decides to go look for Azul, you hear cheering coming from past some rocks.

You go check and see two teams of mermen playing something that looks like spelldrive. Jade and Floyd explain that it is called coral rush, the most popular underwater sport. Jade says that judging by the faces of the players, that is a match between school teams. Apparently, between the Red Pincers and the Golden Tridents. From the description, Idia says that it is impossible for someone like Azul to be part of a team in a sport like that.

But then, the commentator describes someone from the Golden Tridents team stealing the ball from the Red Pincers team.

“Who was it that swiped the ball so fast we couldn't see it...?” You hear the commentator say through the speakers. “Ah, the Golden Tridents' guardian! AZUL ASHENGROTTO!”

You see Azul on the field towards the other goal and with the dreamer's silver bird around his head. Everyone is dumbfounded, including Jade and Floyd.

“Azul, Azul, he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!” You hear the Merfolk Cheerleaders.

“Why are you looking at them like that, (Y/N)?" Ortho asks you. “You look repulsed.”

You change the subject by saying it was just something in the water.

You continue to watch the game, with Jade and Floyd laughing because not even they believe what they are seeing, and see Azul score the winning goal with spectacular style.

“Ah! They're going somewhere else now.” Sebek points out, after the end of the game.

“We can't afford to lose them. Let's follow!” Silver says.

But unfortunately, it's really difficult for you to move around underwater and the aerospheres are so big that you have to be careful not to collide with each other.

“Squeee! Wait up, Azul!” The Merfolk Cheerleaders swim in your direction. “Hey, out of the way, people! Those jellyfish membranes around you are blocking the way. Stop taking up so much space!” And one of them bumps into you.

“Excuse me!” Azul suddenly appears. “What a terrible way to treat spectators here to offer their support. I'm so sorry how people from my school treated- Ah! (Y/N)? Why are you... what happened to your tail?” Azul looked extremely worried. “And what is this membrane around you?!”

“My... my tail...? I...” Even if you wanted to come up with something to say, you still don't have enough information about what's going on to know what to made up.

Azul carefully places one of his tentacles around your aerosphere to try to pull you with him without bursting it.

“Um... just give us a moment.” Azul tells the others with a smile as he takes you with him behind a rock.

The others let him take you because it seemed like you might be able to get some information about that dream.

“What happened?!” He whispers to you, with a concern similar to someone having a plan go wrong. “Has the potion lost its effect? You took the last dose, didn't you?”

From what you were understanding, in Azul's dream you were a land-dweller who needed to take a potion to stay in your merform. So you decide to go with it.

“Huh... Yes! I, uh, was so excited to see you play that I might have forgotten to take the potion. And, uh... Those guys, they're the ones who gave me this, uh, bubble to breathe in.”

“For the Benevolent Sea Witch's Sake!” He keeps whispering, but almost in panic. “Those guys now know that you're a land-dweller?! Why were you so careless? Good thing I always carry a spare potion with me.” He has a brown bag around his waist from which he takes a light purple glass bottle. “Deep breath.”

You take a deep breath and he bursts your aerosphere. He uses his tentacles to take off one of your shoes and sock while complaining about why you land-dwellers wear so many layers of clothing and makes a drop of the potion touch your foot. Your legs start to glow, join together and become a shrimp tail. But the strangest thing is that you start breathing through gills in your ribs. Azul puts the bottle back in the bag, holds your hands with his and with one of his tentacles he holds your tail to give you support.

“It's okay, my dear.” Azul tells you reassuringly. “You'll get used to it again in no time. And I won't leave your side anymore. I promise.” He kisses your cheek. “You can take off your clothes now.” he suggests casually. “They will only get in the way of your swimming. And the other merfolks will find it extremely suspicious.”

If you have a female body, you will notice that the scales on your tail continue up your torso, covering your chest like a bathing suit and just like the Sea Witch. So, since there is no problem in taking off your shirt and you already feel the difficulty of moving with clothes underwater, you take off the rest of your clothes.

“You are so much more beautiful without those things covering you.” He smiles fondly at you and he holds you again. “Now... let's get back to our... visitors.” He says with a sly smile. “You can hold my arm until you feel comfortable swimming again.”

You do so and hold on to Azul's arm, which is stronger than you thought. You and Azul come out from behind the rock to approach the group again and it's no surprise that everyone looks at your new merform with immense astonishment.

“(Y/N) told me what happened.” Azul tells them. “Thank you so much for helping my partner in such a time of need.”

“Your PARTNER?!”

“Yes, I know. We are such a charming couple.” Azul confirms with a proud smile. “You must have traveled a long way to get here. Please, consider yourselves welcome. My name is Azul Ashengrotto. I'm the captain of the Golden Tridents, my school's coral rush team.”

“Mr. Ashengrotto, I was quite impressed with how you were playing back there.” Jade tells him enthusiastically, or rather, feigning enthusiasm. “Could I trouble you for an autograph?”

He makes Azul sign the back of Idia's tablet, against Idia’s will.

“By the way, do our faces ring any bells for you?” Jade asks after thanking him for the autograph.

“Your faces? Hmm... Ah! Are you the Leeches? From elementary school?”

“Yes! I'm honored you remember us.”

“Oh, the memories! We were in the same class back then, weren't we? It's been ages!” Azul looks at you. “Excuse me for a second, my dear.”

He gently makes you let go of his arm, but discreetly keeps a tentacle on your tail to support you, as he and Jade do one of those complicated secret handshakes. After that, Azul swims back a little so you can lean on his arm again.

They talk about how it's been a while since they last saw each other at graduation. The Leeches tell him that they are at Night Raven College and Azul is surprised, maybe even shocked, that they are attending a school on land.

“That's... amazing. You must be quite brave.” Azul tells them. “I could never go up on land, myself...”

“Hey, Azul!” A teammate of his calls. “Come on, Let's go! Party can't start without the star of the team!”

Azul has to say goodbye, but first he invites the group to go to his team's victory party that night, saying he would like to hear more about their life on land. The venue was La Grotta, his mother's restaurant. As soon as Azul mentions food, Grim almost jumps on him with excitement. But by the way he treats him, it seems that Azul doesn't recognize Grim, even though he knows you.

“We'll be waiting! Until then.” He finally says goodbye and takes you with him.

Seeing you leave without Azul, Grim prepares to protest but is stopped by Jamil who suggests that they let you go to get more inside information that could be useful to them.

“Ahh... Azul's got such a friendly, dreamy smile!” A Golden Tridents Fan says. “I think I'm in love. What I would give to be (Y/N). They are so lucky.”

As you swim past the fans of Azul’s team, or rather, Azul’s fans with him, you look sideways at some of these merfolks.

“What is it?” He asks you with a smug smile. “Don't tell me you're getting a little jealous of my... I mean, the Golden Tridents fans.”

You don't hide your slightly sullen lips, which makes him chuckle.

“Oh, my pearl, I thought you already knew that you don't need to worry. No one's voice will divert my gaze from you.” And what a loving gaze he was directing at you.

He took you straight to La Grotta, his mother's restaurant, and he left you in one of the VIP rooms while he went to talk to the staff and his teammates, which gave you time to think about what was going on and what you could do next.

So, to recap: he knows you, but he doesn't know Grim or Night Raven College. And Azul knows you're a land-dweller. But now the question is: How did you two meet if he's never been to Night Raven College? However, you couldn't just ask him. What excuse would you use to not remember your relationship? Amnesia? No, that wouldn't fly.

Luckily, Azul gave you one of those waist bags where you could put your cell phone and you were discussing ideas with the others via messages.

Thinking about the fact that Azul was part of the Board Game Club, just like Idia, he suggested one of those quiz games for couples. Idia could manipulate the questions if necessary, so that you would receive questions that you knew how to answer and Azul’s would be more specific to learn more about his dream. But maybe that wasn't necessary, because in a quick search Ortho discovered quizzes like “Who is the most...”, where the answers are just “Me”, “You” or “Both”. And there's no problem with the answers being different. In fact, it's even better if they're different because then you both would talk about it.

By messing with the dream code a little, Idia makes one of those teen magazines with silly quizzes appear next to you, where the quiz for you to use with Azul is.

When Azul comes back, he brings with him a bunch of your favorite dishes that can be prepared underwater, and places them on the table with a smile. It was an all-you-can-eat buffet just for the two of you, especially for you. You tell him that you found that magazine somewhere and that you would like to take a couples quiz it had. Azul chuckles and accepts for the fun.

“Who is most likely to go to land?” You read the first question, and you both agree that it would be you. Even though Azul commented that none of you would go.

“Who gives more gifts?”

You look at all those dishes that are your favorites and you agree with Azul himself that is him.

“Fine, fine, I admit it.” Azul sighs with a smile. “I may or may not spoil you a little too much.” You feel one of his tentacles caress your tail fins.

“Who is more jealous?” You continue with the questions.

“Hmm... I would say you.” Azul smirks.

“ME?!”

“Are you going to deny the way you were looking at those cheerleaders? Fu fu.”

Something tells you that in real life Azul would be at least a little jealous, but of course his dream wouldn't put him in a position to make him feel jealousy. So you end up agreeing.

“Who is most likely to forget how you met?”

“That would be you, for sure.” Azul says, with an amused smile.

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, technically you were unconscious when we actually met.”

“I was?!” You couldn't contain your surprise.

“Ha ha, I understand. It was a traumatic situation despite everything.” Azul explains. “I usually avoid going too far to the surface, but it was on a night of... um... I think they're called fireworks. The merfolks also enjoy their sight. But then a storm started to form and we went back underwater. I noticed a big... boat? Ship! A big ship struggling on the surface and that's when I saw something fall into the water. I wouldn't have turned back, but I realized it was the silhouette of a land-dweller. And I... I don't know why... Curiosity? I honestly don't know, but I came to your aid. When I caught you, you were already unconscious but still alive. The storm was too dangerous to carry you above the surface, so I used magic to create a bubble of air for you to breathe. When I arrived at the beach the sea was already calmer. Only then did you open your eyes. But I didn't stay with you for long because I heard a lot of people coming looking for you, so I went back to the sea. So technically, you would be the most likely to forget that day. If you remember anything at all.” He finishes with a reassuring smile.

“So, you saved me.”

“Well, yes. And that's why you kept going to the beach looking for me for days, wasn't it? You wanted to know who saved you.”

And how did you end up underwater with him? You look back at the questions and the next one changes without Azul noticing.

“Who is most likely to give up their world to live in their loved one's.” You read. “Well, clearly me too.” You smile at him.

“But of course. You yourself told me that you hated the land. You said you would do anything to be with me.” He smiles, more smugly than lovingly.

“And do you remember when we really met?” You ask. “You know, when I met you consciously?”

“Naturally. After all, you were after me. You even asked the naval authorities of Sunshine Lands for help. And of course this reached my dad since he is a lawyer. I would almost have felt like a wanted criminal if it weren't for the thanks for saving you. And so we arranged to meet on the beach the next night.”

You hear someone knocking at the door. Azul says they can come in and one of the staff members appears saying that the time for the victory party to start was approaching. Azul tells you it was a fun game to bring back good memories, you finish eating and get ready to go to the party and receive the guests.

“We have some... special guests today.” He comments with a smug smile that gives you a bad feeling.

“DJ, surely you can play something with more energy than this!” Azul says as the outgoing host of the party. “We can't exactly dance to outdated jazz.” The DJ does what he says. “Is everyone having fun?”

“Wooo! Yeeeah!” The party-goers enthusiastically confirm.

“Whoa, are those land-dwellers?” You hear one of the mermen say near the entrance. “What're they doing at our party?”

“Hm? ...Oh! Those are my guests.” Azul says approaching the group with you holding on to his arm. “I can't believe you actually came. You all must be quite brave.” He says with that weird smile. “Welcome to La Grotta. Oh, dear... I completely forgot to tell you - this party has a dress code for land-dwellers.”

“What? Why didn't you say so?” Sebek questions.

“Required attire for undersea parties is...” Azul continues. “This!” he makes those anemones you recognize appear on Sebek's head.

“Whoa! What is this?!”

“Under the sea, that's a hair accessory regarded as highly formal. Isn't it lovely the way it sways back and forth with the current?” Azul smiles charismatically. “Wearing these will elevate even the drabbest attire. You'll be the centerpieces of the party! Here's one for each of you!

He made those anemones appear on everyone's head, except Jade and Floyd's, with the excuse that they were for land-dweller and that merfolks didn't need them.

“Now come on in, everyone.” Azul invites them. “There's no sense blocking the doorway!”

The group enters and Azul lets them move a little away from you two.

“Azul.” You whisper to him. “That dress code...”

“Of course it's a lie.” He confesses to you with that mocking smile. “Let's have some fun with those... poor unfortunate souls, shall we, my dear?” He laughs and takes you with him back to the group.

“Hm? The merfolk all seem to be starting at us.” Silver notices. “Have we committed some faux pas?”

“Didn't I tell you that you'd be the centerpieces of the party with those accessories? Their gazes are all riveted to you because you cut such dashing figures.”

This convinces Grim, whose ego continues to be inflated by the other merfolks. And they convince him to go on stage and dance. Grim accepts, but drags Sebek and Ortho with him. You had a bad feeling as big as Idia, Jamil, Jade and Floyd. A hunch that turned out to be true when Grim, Ortho and Sebek fell off the stage and the three of them's aerospheres came together, making them look like idiots. All the merfolks started laughing, including Azul.

“What sad, pathetic creatures land-dwellers are.” Azul mocks. “It's hard to believe ANY merfolk would actually go up there. There's no place like under the sea!”

They admit that Azul only invited them to use them as entertainment and reveal that those anemones on their heads were just part of their humiliation.

“Azul, I can't believe you can lie with such a straight face." A merman says. "You're the man!”

“Ahahaha! Aren't they the perfect accessory for such silly-looking land-dwellers? Ahh, good times! What a delightful diversion this has been. But the rest of the party is for us merfolk. The goofy opening act can exit the stage now. Off you go! Goodbye!”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” You shout, abruptly letting go of Azul's arm. Everyone looks at you in shock, especially Azul. “You're not like this! Well, yes, you take advantage of other people's naivety, that's true, but not like this. And what's your problem with land-dwellers? You're dating me, aren't you? And I AM A LAND-DWELLER!”

The other merfolks are shocked, apparently this was a secret.

“What? Azul Ashengrotto dating a land-dweller?”

“Wha- NO! They...” Azul looks at the other merfolks. “They WERE land-dweller, but they hated it, they wanted to be merfolks and I granted them that wish.”

“What? I don't hate being a land-dweller!” You defend yourself. “Why are you being a bully? Why do you want to be like the people who made fun of you when you were little?!”

“What? What are you talking about? I never... Argh!” He has a vision of one of the times he was made fun of as a child. “What? No! This never happened!”

“I like you, Azul.” You confess. “But not you, the real Azul!”

“Yeah, this Azul is reeealy boooring” Floyd complains. “Hey, Koebi-chan~ , leave that guy and come back to us.”

“K-koebi-chan?” Azul looks at Floyd strangely.

You start swimming towards Floyd and the others, but that's when you feel something wrap around your tail, preventing you from keep swimming.

“NO! YOU WON'T LEAVE ME! YOU'RE MINE!” Azul pulls you back to him and holds your arms to your torso with two other tentacles around you.

Of course this makes the group attack Azul and whoever gets in the way to save you. Azul tries to swim away and let the mermen fight for him, but the Leeches stop him from escaping.

“Swimming away instead of fighting your own battles?” Jade says. “How pathetic.”

“Pathetic?! ...Hrk!” Azul has a vision of Jade and Floyd looking at him, disappointed, wearing their dorm uniforms.

“Yeah, you're so pitiful that to make Koebi-chan stay with you, you have to force them.” Floyd attacks him. “Let go of them!” He scratches Azul's tentacles making him release you, and Floyd pulls you to take you with him and Jade.

“Let's move on to the next dream, everyone.” Jade says.

This makes Azul have another memory: ‘Ooohhh, is that a fact? I'm just a silly little octo-twerp who can't do anything on his own.’

“Hrgh! What is this?!” Azul’s dream world begins to distort. “Is that... me, in clothes? What is this memory?! Urgh... Head... hurts...!”

The other mermen approached him to make sure he was okay and to do their job of convincing him to stay in that dream, telling him not to believe in land-dweller, that nothing good can come from associating with them. All merfolk transform into that goopy darkness around Azul and you all, but a new figure forms in the midst of the darkness, and when this figure reveals itself, it is a copy of you in your merform.

“Don't let them fool you Azul.” Your copy tells him. “You saved me from that messed up place. And I fell in love with you so much that I would give anything to be part of your world. This wonderful world. Under the sea. With you. Loving you just the way you are.”

“Yes... Nothing beats life... under the sea...”

“Right. Even if you went onto land, you'd be working nonstop from sun-up to sundown.” A merman says.

“Stay here, and you can spend your days dancing and singing!” Another merman corroborates. “Every day's a blast!”

“Life under the sea is as good as it gets... Isn't that right, Azul?”

“Yes... I would never... go onto land...” Azul lets himself be swallowed by darkness.

“Jade, Floyd, let's follow him!” Ortho says.

But... they explain that personal responsibility is the rule in Octavinelle. Immersing himself in pleasant dreams was Azul’s decision. If someone doesn't want step up, leave them, That's their rule.

“You two are going to jump on that thing with us and help save Azul or I'll put you back to sleep myself!” You threaten them, a more emotional than logical reaction derived from your feelings for Azul.

Everyone looks at you in surprise that you even have the courage to threaten those two. But Jade and Floyd smile at you with amusement. They find your reaction interesting and that's why they thought it would be fun to help you while you had such strong motivation.

You appear in Octavinelle's hallway You, Jade and Floyd change your human forms again and you all peek through the door into the interior of Mostro Lounge to see Azul and the Jade and Floyd NPCs talking. You see Azul burning that school photo he wanted you to steal from the Atlantica Memorial Museum.

“Now my wretched past is all squared away.” You hear Azul saying. “And I get Ramshackle dorm from that sucker (Y/N) in the bargain.”

It seems that, from all indications, he was no longer dreaming that he was dating you. You find out he was dreaming of a scenario where Leona didn't turn all of his contracts to sand. This dream likely takes place shortly after midterms. The real-world Azul lost most of the powers he'd taken from others after those midterms, but in this dream, he never lost his contracts, and he's even managed to acquire the powers of multiple housewardens. Just from what you overheard, he's taken the signature spells of Riddle and Leona, at least.

You conclude that you need to find the contracts and destroy them yourselves. You go to the VIP Room but when you open the safe, it's empty. It was most likely that Azul had hidden the contracts somewhere else. But the only people, besides Azul, who could know where the safe was were Jade and Floyd, or rather, their NPCs. The plan now was to draw Jade and Floyd's NPCs away from Azul, distract or even destroy Floyd's NPC and use Jade's signature spell on his own NPC to tell him where the safe was.

While Floyd, Jamil and Ortho took care of Floyd's NPC, you and the rest took care of Jade's NPC. After you go to the Alchemy Workshop, have Idia unlock the door to the storage room, and Jade breaking practically every glass case in sight to take a few super rare magic mushrooms, he puts all the mushrooms in a large container and tells you and Grim to go to Mostro Lounge and make an offer for them. The others don't believe that Azul will fall for that, but the plan is not for Azul, but for Jade’s NPC. Before you go, Jade makes anemones appear on your head and Grim's so that Azul doesn't get suspicious since, according to the logic of the dream, you both should be under his control at that moment.

As Jade predicted, Azul had no interest in the mushrooms, but Jade's NPC had every interest. Jade’s NPC asks Azul to go with you to investigate the place where you and Grim allegedly found the mushrooms and he lets him go, but before Jade's NPC leaves with you and Grim:

“(Y/N).” Azul calls you. “Could you stay and let Grim show Jade the way? There are some matters I would like to discuss with you.”

You decide to accept, because being close to Azul can help with the mission. He asks you to go with him to the VIP Room and tells you to sit on one of the sofas and make yourself comfortable. You do so and he sits next to you instead of sitting in his armchair behind the desk.

“I'm so sorry you lost your dorm.” He says with false pity. “But a deal is a deal.” He crosses one leg. “I heard you moved to Savanaclaw. Is it true?” You confirm. “I'm surprised that the students in that dorm would be so... agreeable as to find you a room. What is it like? I hope it's not too uncomfortable.”

You tell him that you are staying in the Houseworden room with Leona, and this makes Azul's expression change. Maybe as you already expected it to happen knowing now that he probably has a crush on you.

“You are sharing a room with Leona?!” He says in a slightly squeaky voice before clearing his throat and regaining his posture. “But the housewardens' rooms are solo rooms. Let me guess, he's making you sleep on the floor?”

In reality, that's more or less what happened. But... what if... you changed the story a little and saw what happened? You tell Azul that at first, yes, you slept on the floor, but that over time you got closer to Leona and one night, seeing that you had started to suffer from back pain, he started to let you sleep with him in his huge bed. Azul's face doesn't change much, but if you pay attention to his hands they were starting to form fists.

“Well, that's good. But... It must be hard to live in that dorm. After all, you're living in the most... wild dorm in Night Raven College. If you could be transferred to another dorm, is there one you would like to move to?

You know the answer he wants to hear, but you say another dorm on purpose to mess with him. You respond with Heartslabyul, because your closest friends, Ace and Deuce are there. And you also know Riddle, Trey and Cater well.

“It makes sense.” Azul admits a little displeased. “But unfortunately, I heard that they have no free rooms, not even free beds.”

“Well, that's what they told me too.” You tell him. “Ace and Deuce said that both they and Riddle would be happy to take me in, but there was that problem. Ace even suggested that I share a bed with him or Deuce.”

“Really?” Azul whispers to himself, with that look of someone who wants to have a little chat with him later.

“That's why I ended up going to Savanaclaw. I wasn't... I'm not close to anyone from other dorms.”

“And what would you say if you could stay in Octavinelle?”

You didn't know if it was the mood of the room, the decor, the soft jazz in the background, but something was making you want to mess with him through those deals of his.

“And why would that be a better deal than staying with Leona? Since I'm now even sleeping in a Houseworden's bed.”

“Is that what you want?” He says seductively and getting a little closer to you. “To sleep in the Housewarden's bed? What if I told you that I would allow you to do the same here?” He smiles with satisfaction when he sees you looking a little flustered.

“Besides that...” He straightens up on the couch. “I can only imagine how much you suffer from those brutes whose strength is valued more than intellect. Here, you would be treated with much more respect, for sure. Especially...” With his index finger on your chin he makes you look at him. “If you were the Housewarden’s partner. That connection alone would give you all the respect in the school. And who knows...” He reaches out his arm to poke the anemone on your head. “Maybe I'll free you from this.” His hand returns to your face, this time grabbing you by the cheeks. “It really doesn't look good on such a pretty face.”

“What if I don't accept the deal?” You ask, taking your face out of his hand.

Azul's smile faded slightly, clearly dissatisfied.

“In that case... I will have to force you to leave Savanaclaw.” He grabs the anemone on your head and pulls it, bringing your face closer to his. “And bring you here myself.” He whispers. “Willingly or not... you are already mine.”

Someone knocks on the door before you can say anything else. Azul lets go of your anemone, asks you to excuse him, gets up and goes to open the door to find an Octavinelle student asking him to go with him because something came up that needed his evaluation.

“I'll be right there, give me just a second.” Azul closes the door and walks towards you again. “I'll leave you to ponder.” He tells you with his charismatic smile. “You can join Octavinelle of your own free will. Or you can continue to be one of my... forced collaborators. Either way...” He tilts your head with his fingers on your chin. “I'll get what I want..." He leans in to bring his face closer to yours. "And and I want you.” He straightens up, lets go of your chin and turns to leave the room.

You stayed in the VIP Room and shortly after you heard Jade and Floyd arrive at Mostro Lounge and start talking with Azul.

“Jade, that large attaché case you're carrying...” You hear Azul say worriedly. “Is that the one with my contracts?”

They talk about some miscreant wanting to steal Azul's contracts and that's why they went to get the case from under his bed.

“Anyway, hand over the case.” Azul tells them. “I need to hide it elsewhere for now.”

You take the opportunity to discreetly open the VIP Room door and take a peek at what was going on.

“Didn't you hear me? Hand it over, quickly.”

“Azul. Have you truly forgotten?” Jade asks. “In reality, you lost those contracts months ago.”

“In... reality? I lost them? What are you saying? I haven't lost anything. I've gained everything! You've seen it for yourselves, haven't you?”

Jade and Floyd remain silent.

“What's with those looks? You know there's no one left at school who opposes me. Even the headmage does as I say! They all bow before me! And you know what happens to any who dare go against my will.”

“Oh, Azul... You really must stop disappointing us like this.”

“Disappointing you? If anyone here is disappointed, it's me!”

Things escalate and Azul attacks the twins for their insubordination, but Floyd uses his signature spell to bounce Azul's attack. Azul calls all students with anemones in their heads that he controls to fight them. They surround Jade and Floyd. Among them you see Ace, Deuce, Riddle, Leona, Kalim and even Idia. It is at this time that Silver, Sebek, Jamil, Ortho and Grim enter to fight alongside the twins. And you also join them.

“Here, Koebi-chan. You hold the case.” Floyd throws you the attaché case with the contracts.

They fight until the right opportunity arises, which is when Azul uses Leona's signature spell, Kings Roar, to attack Floyd. He uses his signature spell to bounce the attack towards you. You quickly position the attaché case and the attack hits it, destroying it and all the contracts inside.

“No, no, no! My poor little contracts... With my own spell...! They're all... sand... HRK!” The world begins to distort as Azul remembers. “What's happening?! My head feels... like it's about to split open... Urgh! That's right... Back on that day, I... Ah... Aaah... AAAAAAGH!”

Azul remembers and the dream breaks.

“How could I have forgotten something so vital?” He laughs. “I swore I'd never commit a blunder that bad again, and yet... Here I am, reliving the experience of losing all my contracts. What a nightmare!”

Azul, Jade and Floyd don't get to exchange many words before the dream world starts shaking like an earthquake because, now that the contracts have been destroyed, that dream can no longer reach a happy ending. While everyone tried to escape, the darkness caught Azul by the leg. Jade and Floyd held him and tried to stop him from sinking back into the darkness, but the others explained that everyone needed to get out of there quickly and that Azul, as was his dream, could still save himself. The twins let go of him, with Azul's own consent and agreement, and you all left that dream while Azul was taken away by the darkness.

When you were able to return to the dream, you found Azul in his human form and wearing his Octavinelle Housewarden uniform, despite being in his mother's restaurant under the sea.

After the explanations and Ortho showing Azul the explanatory video of what was happening, Azul immediately worries about Mostro Lounge, the possibly spoiled food, and the public's image of seeing them close without warning. But after that, there was another concern.

“Wait. From what I understand, you arrived during the Coral rush game. Which means...” Azul looks at you, but then immediately looks away, embarrassed and blushing.

Jade and Floyd laugh, but Jade still asks if you two wouldn't like to have a private conversation. You accept, even to Azul’s surprise, who ends up accepting after you. Jade and Floyd take charge of taking everyone away from you, probably as a way for you and Azul to later be indebted to them. But since you're at Azul's mother's restaurant, he knows where the VIP rooms are, and he takes you there.

“I...” He was so embarrassed that it seemed like he wanted to hide in a hole. “I-I-I I am SO sorry!” He can't even look you in the eyes. “I swear I would never do that to you! I don't know why I... I didn't know what I was doing. I-”

You get closer to him to calm him down and tell him that you understand. You have seen many other dreams and have noticed that what happens does not always correspond to what the dreamer would do in reality.

 “What can I do to make you forgive me? And forget what happened?” He asks you, struggling to look at your face.

“So it's true that you like me?” You ask back.

“Wha- hm... I thought it would be obvious by now.” He sighs. “I... think so.” He looks away, unable to develop a better response than that.

When you admit that you like him too, he looks at you dumbfounded. The more you tell him about how much and why you like him, the more his eyes will shine. If you tell him that, from a different perspective, you even enjoyed the way he liked having you ‘all to himself’, he will blush even more.

After internalizing everything you've told him, he needs a moment to compose himself. But once he does, he looks at you with a smile and perhaps a little too much confidence.

“So... will you forgive me for my lack of manners towards you?”

You say yes, because you know he wasn't like that anymore.

“I'm glad to have your forgiveness and understanding. But...” He gets closer to you, slowly. “I'm still in debt to you. I treated you like you were my possession and that is simply unacceptable. So, tell me...” He caresses your cheek, brings his face close to yours and whispers to you. “What can I do to pay off my debt?”

“Despite everything...” You look at his lips. “You never kissed me.”

“Should we start there, then?”

You start by kissing slowly. You feel his hands sliding to your back and waist and pulling you closer to him. Gradually the kiss become more needy, and you can feel his tendency to be a little possessive. But this time, with your consent.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[thecurioustale]

Oh, that cannot be legal.

That is actually really fucked up.

If you don't want to parse what the governor did, he used the partial veto to turn the clause "For the limit for the 2023–24 school year and the 2024–25 school year" into "For the limit for 2023–2425," thus turning a two-year funding increase into a 402-year funding increase.

Putting aside that "the good guys" used it for a noble purpose here, this is one of the most glaring examples of the letter of the law going against the spirit of the law that I have seen in recent memory.

This is a terrible state supreme court ruling that sets a terrible precedent and is going to make legislative text even more difficult to parse in the future.

I don't even know that the legislature could fix this if they wanted to. This supreme court ruling turns all legislative text into a subtractive poetry game. Even if they tried to pass a law outlawing it, a governor could just partially veto the phrase "the governor may not use the partial veto to meaningfully change the intent of a law" to read "the governor may not use the partial veto to meaningfully change the intent of a law." I think the legislature would have to completely repeal the partial veto and fix it from scratch, but even then they would have to overcome a full gubernatorial veto.

The problem with breaking the rules because the other side doesn't let you play by the rules (given that the context here is that the Republicans in Wisconsin have gerrymandered state legislative districts so badly that they are essentially guaranteed control of the legislature) is that, unless you are extremely careful about it, you end up leading society toward the other side's authoritarian goals. And it won't be Democrats on the throne when that day comes.

For as sympathetic as I am to the (true) claim that using the partial veto to change the intent of a small funding provision in a bill isn't nearly as threatening to democracy as the Republican stranglehold on the state legislature due to gerrymandering, there's just no way to put a good spin on this state supreme court ruling. This is going to break down democracy and people's faith in it even further.

Well, it would, if people actually cared...which is a ship that I think has already sailed in the United States. But it will matter to the people in government, who will become that much more accustomed to unethical conduct as the norm.

sometimes this country is really fucking funny

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

🧩 How to Outline Without Feeling Like You’re Dying

(a non-suffering writer’s guide to structure, sanity, and staying mildly hydrated)

Hey besties. Let’s talk outlines. Specifically: how to do them without crawling into the floorboards and screaming like a Victorian ghost.

If just hearing the word “outline” sends your brain into chaos-mode, welcome. You’re not broken, you’re just a writer whose process has been hijacked by Very Serious Advice™ that doesn’t fit you. You don’t need to build a military-grade beat sheet. You don’t need a sixteen-tab spreadsheet. You don’t need to suffer to be legitimate. You just need a structure that feels like it’s helping you, not haunting you.

So. Here’s how to outline your book without losing your soul (or all your serotonin).

—

🍓 1. Stop thinking of it as “outlining.” That word is cursed. Try “story sketch.” “Narrative roadmap.” “Planning soup.” Whatever gets your brain to chill out. The goal here is to understand your story, not architect it to death.

Outlining isn’t predicting everything. It’s just building a scaffold so your plot doesn't fall over mid-draft.

—

🧠 2. Find your plot skeleton. There are lots of plot structures floating around: 3-Act. Save the Cat. Hero’s Journey. Take what helps, ignore the rest.

If all else fails, try this dirt-simple one I use when my brain is mush:

Act I: What’s the problem?

Act II: Why can’t we fix it?

Act III: What finally makes us change?

Ending: What does that change cost?

You don’t need to fill in every detail. You just need to know what’s driving your character, what’s blocking them, and what choices will change them.

—

🛒 3. Make a “scene bucket list.” Before you start plotting in order, write down a list of scenes you know you want: key vibes, emotional beats, dramatic reveals, whatever.

These are your anchors. Even if you don’t know where they go yet, they’re proof your story already exists, it just needs connecting tissue.

Bonus: when you inevitably get stuck later, one of these might be the scene that pulls you back in.

—

🧩 4. Start with 5 key scenes. That’s it. Here’s a minimalist approach that won’t kill your momentum:

Opening (what sucks about their world?)

Catalyst (what throws them off course?)

Midpoint (what makes them confront themselves?)

Climax (what breaks or remakes them?)

Ending (what’s changed?)

Plot the spaces between those after you’ve nailed these. Think of it like nailing down corners of a poster before smoothing the rest.

You’re not “doing it wrong” if you start messy. A messy start is a start.

—

🔧 5. Use the outline to ask questions, not just answer them. Every section of your outline should provoke a question that the scene must answer.

Instead of: — “Chapter 5: Sarah finds a journal.”

Try: — “Chapter 5: What truth does Sarah find that complicates her next move?”

This makes your story active, not just a list of stuff that happens. Outlines aren’t just there to record, they’re tools for curiosity.

—

🪤 6. Beware of the Perfectionist Trap™. You will not get the entire plot perfect before you write. Don’t stall your momentum waiting for a divine lightning bolt of Clarity. You get clarity by writing.

Think of your outline as a map drawn in pencil, not ink. It’s allowed to evolve. It should evolve.

You’re not building a museum exhibit. You’re making a prototype.

—

🧼 7. Clean up after you start drafting. Here’s the secret: the first draft will teach you what the story’s actually about. You can go back and revise the outline to fit that. It’s not wasted work, it’s evolving scaffolding.

You don’t have to build the house before you live in it. You can live in the mess while you figure out where the kitchen goes.

—

🛟 8. If you’re a discovery writer, hybrid it. A lot of “pantsers” aren’t anti-outline, they’re just anti-stiff-outline. That’s fair.

Try using “signposts,” not full scenes:

Here’s a secret someone’s hiding.

Here’s the emotional breakdown scene.

Here’s a betrayal. Maybe not sure by who yet.

Let the plot breathe. Let the characters argue with your outline. That tension is where the fun happens.

—

🪴 TL;DR but emotionally: You don’t need a flawless outline to write a good book. You just need a loose net of ideas, a couple of emotional anchors, and the willingness to pivot when your story teaches you something new.

Outlines should support you, not suffocate you.

Let yourself try. Let it be imperfect. That’s where the good stuff lives.

Go forth and outline like a gently chaotic legend 🧃

— written with snacks in hand by Rin T. @ thewriteadviceforwriters 🍓🧠✍️

Sometimes the problem isn’t your plot. It’s your first 5 pages. Fix it here → 🖤 Free eBook: 5 Opening Pages Mistakes to Stop Making:

[lemonlover1110]

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

Summary: His baby girl has finally asked the long awaited question: How did mama and papa meet?

Warnings: Fluff

*Changes drabble❤️ Hidden inventory has inspired me🙂‍↕️

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi - Bluesky

“Papa,” His four year old climbs onto the bed, to ask a very important question. Satoru puts down his book to attend to his baby girl. You lay down next to him, but you don’t bother looking at her. The kids usually come to you for every trouble or whim, it’s finally time Satoru is forced to help.

She looks up at him with wide blue eyes, clearly curious about something. Satoru patiently waits for his little girl to speak up, “How did you and mama meet?”

“Ou, I can tell that story!” She successfully gets your attention, and you’re more than willing to speak. You doubt that Satoru even remembers the details. To him you probably were just a childhood friend. People don’t usually remember that early into their childhood.

“Nah, I got it, honey.” Satoru’s hand goes over your own, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Ren, come here! I have a story to tell!”

“Stop bothering that boy, Satoru. He’s a salty preteen.” You lower your voice, but Satoru ignores you. It’s Satoru’s sole goal to be the annoying parent now that Ren’s gotten a bit older.

“Our salty preteen. He gets to stop listening to me when I stop putting a roof over his head.” Satoru responds, making you click your tongue.

“That same exact logic is why you missed out on four years of Ren’s life.” You mutter, something that makes Satoru roll his eyes because he knows you’re right.

“What is it?” Ren walks into the room, a bit of attitude in his tone.

“I’m about to tell your sister how I met your mom.” Satoru says, and he catches the eye roll from the child. He should’ve listened to you.

“Mom said you were childhood friends, what more is there to add?”

“Okay, attitude! Now listen.” Satoru pats a space on the bed for Ren to sit, and the child drags his feet. The man’s attention goes back to his little girl since she was the one who asked in the first place. He cups her face, kissing the top of her head.

“When we were children, I walked into the kitchen with a scraped knee, and there was your mom. I forgot about the pain, and immediately introduced myself.” Satoru recalls with a subtle smile on his face, immediately losing Ren’s attention.

“Have you loved her since?” Anzu asks, a question that makes Satoru ponder on his life. He purses his lips together, taking a moment to truly think about it.

“Yes.” He ends up nodding.

“That’s debatable.” You respond. “But good job on actually remembering how we met.”

“What do you mean debatable?” Satoru furrows his brows, and Ren slowly gets up to sneak out of the room. Anzu stays, looking back and forth between her parents as they argue.

“Excuse me, Mr. I got married to someone else.” You remind him, and Ren’s ears perk up. Satoru’s mouth opens to defend himself, but someone else beats him to it.

“Dad, you got married before mom?”

“No, papa has always loved mama.” Anzu quickly defends her father as if she just hadn’t heard you.

“That’s right, baby! You were the one who wanted to hear the story anyway. So you can leave now, Ren.” Satoru smiles at his precious princess before kissing her forehead.

“No, I think I’ll stay.” Ren walks back, sitting comfortably in the empty space. The preteen fights back a smirk before asking that prying question, “Who did you marry before mom?”

“Your mom is the love of my life. My soulmate. My other half, I would never—“

“Sayo.” You cut him off, making Ren’s eyes widen. Satoru feels his cheeks get pink at the revelation. At least something got the child’s attention.

“That’s a story for when you have grandchildren.” Satoru ruffles Ren’s hair, making the child whine.

“I have another question, papa.” Anzu asks, and the man hums in response, giving all his attention to his baby. “How are babies made?”

“It was right after my father died. You would’ve loved him, my dad would’ve spoiled you two rotten—“

[halfadiamond]

You Think It’s Love- Part Two

Masterlist

You think it’s love where you feel at peace with the men. While you’ve lived life as stress free as possible, it feels more peaceful being with the men than being by yourself. The way they treat you makes you feel as though as you’ve been with them since the start of their relationship rather than joining in later.

You spend most of your day with your boyfriends when you’re not working. Your place most definitely has dust as you can’t remember the last time you’ve been home. The men grew so accustomed to having you at their place that when your lease on your apartment ends, John hands you a copy of their keys and invite you to move into their house. You don’t object at all and move right in. Somehow your stuff is able to blend right in with your boyfriends.

If love had a picture example in the dictionary, this would’ve been it. Anyone who was able to peer into your relationship can tell that there is love here.

Love is present when:

You always wake to Johnny lazily kissing your forehead, and him always being the one that wants to cuddle you at night.

Kyle always buys stuff that you guys can do together. He’s brought home self care kits, puzzles, board games, just about anything that’ll let him pass by the time with you.

John always plans a date night with you. He always treats it as if it’s your first date with the way he goes all out.

Simon always goes out for a walk with you before going to sleep. Sometimes you’re talking about what’s on your mind (with Simon always providing a listening ear and small quips) and then other times you two are walking quietly enjoying each other’s presence.

Love is definitely here when you guys have private time in the bedroom where sometimes it’s you with certain men, you with one of the men, you with all of the men, or even the men with the other men. It’s always nice and sweet, with the end goal being that everyone present is able to feel good and loved. Never once left behind.

You learn that all of them are in the military and typically deploy together. While it brings you relief that they’re always together; you can’t help but worry about the day that they might come back injured or worse dead. But luckily for you, they always come relatively unscathed or if they are injured it’s something minor. They always reassure that they’ll come back home to you; no matter how exhausted or hurt they may be.

You think it’s love when that fear you have is never present. You’re always included into their life and they the same. You learn all the inside secrets between the men, and they learn about all your inside secrets. They always take in mind your schedule and work around it, they always try to include you in all their dates and in those times where work holds you up then one of the men always stays behind until you come home and spends that time with you.

Love is present here because nobody is left behind.

You think it’s love until it’s not.

sorry if it seems short but I think the angst should be a chapter on its own rather than conjoined

Edit: Changed the dividers so it’ll match with masterlist for this series.

[husbandjoel]

first burn | tlou jesse pt. 4

pt. 1 pt. 2 and pt. 3

summary: seattle is at boiling point and the revenge you sought after strikes you at your core

pairing: tlou!jesse x fem!reader

word count: 5.9k

content: angry jesse, arguing, tension between jesse and reader. kissing, tlou gore, blood and self loathing to its finest. dialogue taken directly from the game cause FUCK what jesse said in the finale. reader dgaf about abby during THAT moment iykyk. character death 🙂‍↕️ guns and pure heartbreak sprinkled with survivors guilt

a/n: here we go fellas!! the last instalment of first burn. thank u for reading and supporting, ur feedback on each chap is so appreciated!! love u forever jesse lemme do a fix it fic for u <3 also, just to add, reader is not incapable or stupid by any means but seattle is WILD and the team just don’t have time for that

taglist: @beelee-cotton @lostbee20 @pupupwa @ilovetoomanymen @derangeddementor3 @keseqna @blackravena @cxcilla @hsangel64 @tillywasneverhere @peachyxlynch @toesucker59 @antlcrqueen - tysm for reading 🫶

“I don’t think killing them will bring the peace Ellie thinks it will.”

Jesse’s words played on thick, a scratched recorded in your mind as boots pummelled into the muddy sludge, your ankle pulsating with pain with every determined stride you took. You followed close behind Jesse and Dina, the female cradled into his chest and she went in and out of consciousness.

The events that had occurred were not the restoration of peace you had glorified on the back of Zombie on your way to Seattle. Severely humbled, you were taught that sheer confidence on a daydreamed scenario, did not equate to the capability you needed to even survive a day in the city. Nose broken, you knew it would leave a scar, to remind you that your decision was wholeheartedly based on naivety and this was your sudden karma.

Joel Miller was still dead. And, he would remain in the ground, swallowed by nature even after you left Seattle. The Miller brother, rough around the edges but a warmth to those that grew close to him, wouldn’t resurrect you to shower you in gratitude for your selflessness. No. As you thought about it, you would presume it would be the opposite; because you had been selfish.

Head pounded from exhaustion, you hated the way your stomach churned at the thought. The end goal was to do right by Joel Miller, but, you hadn’t. In fact, not a single Wolf suffered at your hands for his death.

Jesse glanced over his shoulder at you to ensure you had remained close in the marathon back to the theatre. Your eyes met for a brief moment, a raw emotion flickered across your face: you were scared. Eyes tracked back in front of him, you huffed out a breath, throat scorched from the excessive running and lack of water amidst the chaos. You were close, you knew by the buildings even in the darkened night, heavy clouds weighed above to signal a change in severe weather.

You rounded the corner and there it was, your base. Jesse slowed down and ordered you to open the door so he could slip Dina in with ease. Adhering to his instruction, you grunted at the weight of the theatre door, Jesse and Dina concealed; you followed a close second.

“Here.” You went to drag a chaise lounge, your muscles weak, and Jesse pushed past you to place Dina down gently. You stared at her, paled and soaked in her own sweat, blood and vomit smeared across her face. She looked as if she could die and that panicked you, “Jesse—”

“—Sit the fuck down and stay quiet.” Jesse bit and you flinched. He gently tapped at Dina’s face which reawakened her into the reality of the searing pain in her knee. Jesse was quick to press his forearm against her chest as she sat up, “Alright, this is going to hurt.” He rummaged in his backpack and Dina panted with a whine.

“No. It already fucking hurts.” Her hand reached out for yours and you hesitantly stepped from behind Jesse who ushered you with annoyance. Dina stared down at her leg as Jesse fumbled with supplies, “Jesse, I can’t die. You can’t let me die—”

“—Yeah, I know.”

“No. You don’t.” She began to cry.

You felt helpless. Her head swayed as Jesse continued to explain that he couldn’t pull the arrow out without tearing an artery. He’d have to push it. They bickered and you stood, silent as told, throat clenched with nausea at the sight of Dina’s open wound.

“Dina, shut up.” Jesse snapped and Dina fell silent in her protests, her clammy hand squeezed yours. Jesse took a breath, “I’ve got you, Dina. Alright? I’ve got you.” He began to pour at the arrow in her knee with alcohol and Dina threw her head back in hot pain. “Here. Have some of this. It’s going to help. Have some.”

You stared at Dina when she gritted her teeth. You wondered if it was an appropriate time for her to tell him she was growing his child in her womb. It would be a little unorthodox, but high levels of stress made your mind askew.

“I said no.” She spat.

OK. So, she wouldn’t tell him.

Your hand braced against hers as if you were entered into an arm wrestle, your body bent at the waist to offer some support as Jesse forced the arrow through her leg. She let out a wail that sent goosebumps up your arm, her body slumped as she fell unconscious, her breathing laboured. You felt her pulse for a moment. Still alive.

Kneeling down next to Jesse, you watched his hands make quick work to unravel the gauze. There had been many times he had returned home, wounds a plenty from his patrol and you would tend to them with warm kisses and tender touch. It was something you had become good at, because you always wanted to be there for Jesse in the rarity of his weakened moments.

Your fingertips went to grab the gauze from Jesse, allow him to take a break. In turn, he pulled away sharply, haphazardly wrapping it around Dina’s bleeding leg.

“Barricade the entries.” Jesse muttered to you. His words hit a wall in front of your face and his patience grew thin, your name liked venom on the tip of his tongue. “I said, go barricade the doors.”

It took almost two hours as you limped around all possible entries into the theatre, once Dina was dabbed with a damp cloth to take her temperature down, Jesse joined efforts with you, taking the larger furniture that you struggled to push and doing the job himself.

You were walking — limping — on eggshells around him. Jesse hadn’t been a male that expressed a need to make you nervous in his presence, but, the way he stormed around the room made you wince; worried that one flicker of a match and he would blow up in your face. Your hands wrung as you watched him pace back and forth with heavy items, a grunt escaped his lips as the sofa dropped against the cabinets to create a barricade. Hands brushed against each other, he turned to look at you.

You felt small. Pinned under his bitter gaze.

His finger pointed to your ankle, “Let me take a look.” You looked down at the mess of your ankle and shook your head which made Jesse sigh. You were always so fucking stubborn. “Please.”

It wasn’t hard to give into Jesse. You loved him. Backside against the tabletop, Jesse knelt at your feet, his hand delicately taking your busted ankle into his grasp to inspect it. Perhaps, you thought, he was looking for a bite mark so he had a reason to shoot you in the head.

He was angry after all.

“Why did you lie to me?” There it was. The burning question you were waiting for. His tone was monotonous as he prodded at your wound.

You flinched, “I would call it an evasion of truth. I didn’t specifically relay to you that I wasn’t going to Seattle.” You paused as he met your eyes, “So, if we are going by technicalities—”

“—Do you have to do that?”

“What?”

Jesse pulled more gauze out.

“A sarcastic retort.” He mumbled, “You’re being dismissive of the situation.”

He was right. You blew hot air through your lips, “I—Sure. I thought you knew how I felt about the outcome of the Council vote. Part of me expected you to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I was always going to go.”

“Oh, I knew.” Jesse paused and let out a soft chuckle — a slip up on his act.

“You knew?” You tried to calculate how many times you had been blatantly obvious about your intentions with Seattle before you left. “Then. . . Why didn’t you stop me?”

“Because. I believed that you loved me enough to not lie about entering a war-torn city on horseback with three weeks worth of one-to-one combat.” He felt himself become angered in bringing up what hurt him the most, “You should’ve waited. I would’ve come. You knew that.”

Actually, you didn’t. That part shocked you.

You blinked, “Jesse. You were adamant on your stance that the Council voted to stay put in Jackson.” Ankle smeared in agony as Jesse continued to wrap it up, “How the fuck would I have known you would go against your own word?”

Immediately, you regretted what you had threw back at him. His fingers stopped tending to your ankle, his posture straightened as his lips pulled into a thin line. Even when crouched before you, it felt as if Jesse towered over you with his face thunderous.

Your heart stammered. The formidable fear that you were losing him struck you down the middle. The conversation was sprung upon you, and after escaping death by a fraction, your brain hadn’t been in the function to comprehend the emotional maturity it required to mend the fractures of your relationship.

You were losing Jesse before your very eyes.

“I had to say that, so you wouldn’t go do something rash. I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt, or worse in Seattle.” Jesse felt himself become emotional at the forefront, “And yet, you still fucking did it. You’re still hurt, because you chose to leave, and that responsibility weighs heavy on my shoulders. You know why? Because, it’s evident that my love was not enough for you to stay. This is now my problem.”

“Jesse. I do love you.”

“Then why did you leave?” He raised his voice, “A fucking note to say goodbye. What kind of boyfriend am I, if I can’t even protect you?”

“Did it ever cross your mind that I don’t need you to protect me, Jesse? I’m capable of looking after myself.” You crossed your arms defensively before Jesse took a moment to stand, a patronising laugh escaped his lips and you frowned, “What is suddenly funny?”

He pointed to your grazed chin and broken nose, “Look at your capability.” He then dropped his finger to your busted ankle, “It’s gotten you far in your little escapade to Seattle.”

An insult forming on your tongue, Jesse was saved by the pounding of a fist against the door closest to your bodies. Immediately, Jesse put himself between you and the door, his gun dropped from his shoulder and aimed in front of him with ease.

“Jesse, Dina—!” And your name followed.

“What’s the name of your horse?” Jesse kept the gun aimed even in the obvious state that Ellie Williams was on the other side.

Ellie called, “Shimmer. I’m alone.” There was a pause, “Open the fucking door!”

Jesse dropped his aim and took a couple of strides to the door, shoving the sofa propped up against cabinets to allow himself to open the door for Ellie. She stumbled in, eyes wild, slick with mud — and by the looks of it, not her own blood. She was frantic in her movements, scanning the area to locate the one person that was above the rest.

“Where is she?”

“Dina?” You asked stupidly and Ellie threw you a look, “She’s OK. She’s in the Dressing Room—”

Jesse interjected, “—Where were you?” Ellie ignored his query and shoved past you toward the location of Dina, “Ellie!”

After Ellie had disappeared to tend to Dina, you had slumped against your own rucksack on the floor. Uncomfortable, but it would suffice. Your nose had it’s own pulse, alongside your ankle as you attempted to slip into an unconscious state. Irritated, you turned onto your side, shoulder cracking in the process as your eyes narrowed to Jesse, who had fallen asleep sitting up — gun propped up against his shoulder.

He would be enraged, but there wasn’t an appropriate requirement to shake him from his slumber. Instead, you pushed off of the floor, your backpack dragged alongside you as you dropped next to his sleeping frame. Your own gun laid next to your thigh, you took it upon yourself to override Jesse’s night watch for his own sanity. You were aware of the motive behind the whole group’s presence in Seattle, and as a qualified leader, you knew Jesse would be first pick when it came down to Ellie’s choice of person.

You would help where you could.

The sun began to rise, a red sky warned before it darkened to grey, the swell of the clouds burst and rainfall came heavy. Your own eyes began to drop from your own lack of sleep, just as Jesse began to stir next to you.

He groaned, neck rolled from falling asleep with his chin tucked into his chest. Eyes bleary, he blinked the sleep away, head shifting in a panic before his stare settled on you.

You offered him a shy smile, testing the waters. His frown grew where his patience lacked, and he stood with an immediate cause. His chest puffed, “Don’t ever do that again for me. If I fall asleep, wake me up for my watch.”

“Yes, sir.” You saluted him mockingly and he stalked off to find Ellie in the Dressing Room.

Without a turn to sleep, you threw yourself into distractions. Busied with drying off Ellie’s weapons for her next rendezvous with Joel’s killers, you sat hunched on the floor where Jesse had left you, scrubbing at bullets whilst you muttered under your breath about the tedious task. You were silently demoted and it began to frustrate you. Ellie and Jesse spoke amongst themselves just far enough out of reach of your hearing abilities, hushed tones as they mapped out logical moves; something you wouldn’t be apart of.

You were capable to a degree. However, the past twenty-four hours had shred the confidence that Ellie — let alone Jesse — had in you. There were no second chances, but you were determined to prove yourself in little actions such as becoming Ellie’s drying rack for her weapons.

As you placed another bullet down, alarmed at the sheer volume that Ellie had on her person, Jesse slumped down next to you. His shoulder bumped yours as you dropped the damp rag in your hand. You were busy — or, acting as if you were — so your eyes didn’t trail up to look at his face. You had no right to be mad at him, you were the one who left everything behind on a lie whilst the sun met the horizon.

Busying himself by mirroring you, Jesse stood his gun between his legs and began to polish the sides. From your peripheral, you could see he wasn’t really cleaning his gun from the minor flaws such as splattered mud. If your conversation hours prior hadn’t escalated, you might’ve thrown a sarcastic remark his way, a laugh shared to follow. You had been in this situation before, after an argument, Jesse would find closeness with you and perform a mundane task to grab your attention.

If Jesse didn’t have the words to cut the chord on the tension, he’d act out until resolved enough to talk.

He feigned a spit against the rag, and you let yourself stare with petulance. Jesse paused his motions to look back at you with an innocence, his head turned to look behind him before returning his eyes back to you.

“Stop it.” You warned.

“Stop what, exactly?” He queried, “I’m just cleaning my gun.”

You scoffed, “You’re pretending.” Palms against the floor, you leant your weight into your arms, “If you want to talk to me, Jesse, you can just say that instead of pretending to spit in a rag to clean the mud off of your gun. Which — by the way — hasn’t budged since you started.”

“Hm.” Jesse tucked the cloth into his pocket, “Ellie and I will be heading out soon to find Tommy.”

“OK. I’ll get ready—”

“—That wasn’t an invitation. You’re staying here with Dina.” He gestured with his head to the resting girl, “You’d be one hell of a liability. With or without a ruined ankle.”

His remark scathed you, “You don’t have to be so mean.”

“OK.” Jesse agreed, a small smirk noticeable on his face, “I love you. And I want you safe. So, please stay within the confines of the theatre with Dina.”

“You still love me?” It had your chest aching. His casualness caught you off guard, nonplussed by such nonchalance over a confession you had assumed was buried six feet beneath dirt; decayed and soon forgotten.

Jesse stood as Ellie threw a nod to signal their departure. He slung his gun back round his shoulder, “Unfortunately, for me. Yes. You’re not off the hook, but I’d be a liar — just like you — to say I didn’t love you anymore.” A lopsided smile exchanged the smirk, “You made a mistake. Everyone makes them.”

“Here.” Unsure of how to follow his confessional up, you slipped one of the only remaining food packs into Jesse’s hand which he took willingly. “Break a leg food. Or—Or be safe food. Whatever one works in the moment.”

Jesse flipped the pack in his hand, “Did you steal this from Patrol?”

“OK. Now you’re beginning to split hairs for the sake of splitting—”

Jesse cut you off. Large palm to the back of your head, he pulled you in and pressed a firm kiss to your lips. You let your hands clasp his forearms before you slipped them around his neck, bending backwards slightly so he could chase your lips.

His warmth consumed you whole. Your chest pressed against his, hearts threaded back together after being so carelessly torn apart, suddenly the dying world around you seized to exist. It was only Jesse and you. Privileged to survive together, and that is the only thing that mattered to you. Because, once your hands were washed clean from the death of the W.L.F. members who took Joel Miller’s life, your life had to continue; and you decided you needed Jesse to be apart of that.

Once pulled back, Jesse pressed his forehead against yours. His eyes shut for a moment to digest that he may be saying goodbye. Seattle had slowly unfolded to be a bigger situation than any of you could have anticipated, and leaving the walls of your base meant that you may never return.

You were a little shocked by Jesse to say the least. One eye peeled open, you had to make sure that he wasn’t kissing you out of spite.

Fingertips traced every feature on his face, as if you were memorising it all for the final time.

“I love you too, Jesse.” You whispered and with that, Jesse pulled away, the jaws of emptiness snapped around your ankles and dragged you away from him. Arms wrapped around your own torso, you watched Jesse and Ellie slip out of the theatre into the war in Seattle.

The silence was overwhelming, your head turned to see Dina return to the couch to prop her wounded leg up. An unspoken wedge had formed between the pair of you, even when you clutched at her hand as the arrow was pushed through the flesh of her leg. The looming shadow of the conversation you needed to have with her, peering at you from every corner of your dreams. She was pregnant with Jesse’s baby. It should have been the least of your worries considering the circumstances that had unfolded; but it still clawed at your mind all the same.

You sat at the edge of the couch. Hands neatly placed into your lap as you stared out into the emptiness of the room. Dina watched you for a moment, amusement crossed her features until you met her gaze — suddenly your odd behaviour wasn’t particularly funny anymore.

She spoke your name, “What’s wrong?”

Part of her knew. Where you lacked in intelligence to survival, you made up for in piecing things together. You had been attentive to Dina since your arrival in the theatre, but she could notice the distance, the barricaded wall put before your words. Eyes empty, a frown on your face when you handed the ginger biscuit before framing yourself with a faux smile.

It was only a matter of time before the question cropped up. You were straight to the point throughout your blossoming friendship, Dina knew you wouldn’t beat around the bush to salvage her feelings.

You sighed to her question. A stomachache from nerves from trying to approach the subject with the right tone.

“Dina—” You started, a look thrown her way that made her chest constrict, “You’re pregnant with Jesse’s baby. Aren’t you?”

She nodded. She couldn’t lie.

“Can you give specifics of how far along you are?” Oh. Dina thought. You were prodding at a dead carcass. You squeezed one eye shut, “I’ll try stay calm, you know.”

Dina smoothed the hairs at her forehead, “We weren’t together, when you two became a thing. If that’s what you’re getting at. I—I don’t know how far long I am, but, it’ll be further than when you and Jesse started seeing each other.”

“Right.” You nodded, not wholly convinced.

Dina repeated your name, her hand reached for yours for sincerity, “Jesse was—is crazy about you. The moment you entered Jackson, we all knew our situation was over because he looked at you as if you hung the stars before ever fucking speaking to you.” She laughed at the memory, “I remember he practiced what he was going to say to you on Ellie, of all fucking people.”

“That would’ve been a sight.” You laughed with Dina momentarily, it quick to die on your tongue, “I’m sorry. For accusing you.”

“Hey. I would too.” Dina said, “You were pretty nice about it.”

“I should learn not to be.” You joked a little. The fleeting moment of normalcy struck your core and your face dropped the act. Satisfied with the outcome, you chose not to linger, “I’m just going to check on Zombie. I’m surprised he hasn’t eaten one of us whilst we slept.”

You didn’t wait for Dina’s answer. Leaving her to rest, you got up from the couch and strolled to the room where Zombie had been kept. He had grown irritated, hooves stomping at the carpeted floor, head shaking in disdain as you neared him with one of the last apples from your rationed pack from Jackson.

Palm flat out with the apple shown as a prize for Zombie, the Appaloosa huffed before taking the fruit from your hand; turning his back on you to eat it alone.

“You know, just because you can’t see me, doesn’t mean I can’t see you, Zombie.” You patted his stomach and he turned away again, earning a chuckle from your lips, “Zombie. It is not my fault you’re cooped up in here like a caged animal. . . In fact, it is my fault, but we’ll be out of here soon.”

Zombie whinnied and you nodded, “Trust me. I want to be out of Seattle, just as much as you.”

Spending a couple of hours in Zombie’s presence — surprisingly — finding him calming as you managed to scoop up the horseshit and throw it out the door, unnoticed. The hay was becoming limited, but there was enough to see him through another night. And, it felt as though things were coming to a head in Seattle, so you had confidence you would all be returning to Jackson by the next morning.

Water collected from the rainfall, you poured it into a spare bucket you had found for Zombie, disbelieving that you were retracing your days work from Jackson in a theatre in Seattle whilst the patrol members went on their trails.

“This is such fucking bullshit.” You had grown angry as you slammed the pale of water down for the horse. Your hands thrown out in frustration, “I should be out there, don’t you think? I might’ve been a major help finding Tommy.”

Zombie snorted.

“Traitor.” Just as you crossed your arms, the thunder cracked and muffled banging came from the doors where you had left Dina. You sprung into action, swearing when you rolled over your bad ankle as you ran to meet Dina who had begun limping toward to the door, “Woah—Do you know who it is?”

“It’s them.” You felt goosebumps rise and Dina continued, “Our group.”

Quicker together, you managed to lean against the sofa long enough so Dina could let the group in. Hit with the sideways rainfall, you turned your face to the side to prevent being hit directly in the face. Jesse and Tommy Miller filtered through, soaked to the bone and faces stoic, Jesse quick to press his forearm to the sofa you wobbled to keep upright. The question on your tongue, where the fuck is Ellie? died when the very person trudged in, her soul miles away as she stared blankly upon entry.

Jesse met your curiosity over Ellie’s behaviour with a shake of his head. Wet tendrils dangled in front of his face, but you knew his eyes were telling you not to poke the bear.

Dina followed Ellie into the Dressing Room and you were left with Jesse and Tommy who peeled their wet clothes from their bodies, immediately jumping into speaking of tactics against the stage, whilst you organised their weapons for drying.

Once handling a couple of rounds, you took a break, head titled from the seats as you watched the backs of Tommy Miller and Jesse pointing at the map they had sprawled out. Boots kicked off of the chair in front, you made it down to them where they were quick to quieten down in your presence.

That irked you.

“Don’t stop just because I’m here.” You insisted, face warmed under Tommy Miller’s watchful eye.

He looked like he was trying to recognise you.

His fingers snapped together, “You’re that girl banned from Patrol.” Fucking perfect. Tommy nodded to his revelation as Jesse’s shoulders began to shake with humour, “Yeah. The late one. How’d you end up gettin’ here?”

“She came by herself.” Jesse spoke for you, a hand massaged your shoulder, “A valiant knight with little experience.”

You swatted at his hand, “I have experience. I just got unlucky.”

“You tell yourself that.” Jesse tugged your earlobe in subtle affection, Tommy crossed his arms watching in amusement. Jesse added, “We’re going home.”

As the reply of excitement left your mouth, Ellie opened the doors from the stage, her face paled but her emotions collected. She looked to the three of you before catching the map at Tommy and Jesse’s elbows. She knelt down, before swinging her legs over the edge of the stage, a decent bruise noticeable across her cheek.

Without further questioning, Tommy and Jesse launched into talking shop with Ellie.

“Hey—” Tommy halted their plans, “They got what they deserved.” You were none the wiser but able to piece things together as Ellie responded, Tommy quick to reply about her quip on — presumably — Abby Anderson’s survival, “Yeah. . . Is that OK?”

All eyes went to Ellie.

She sighed, “It’s going to have to be.”

That was the confirmation Tommy Miller was heeding. Ellie Williams, albeit plagued by the obsession of Abby Anderson’s desired death, would settle for retiring to Jackson, Wyoming. This granted the passage for the four of you to retrieve your belongings and escape the jaws of Seattle unscathed further by the war that settled in it’s belly.

Without Ellie’s reinforcement of the plan. You had feared you may have been stuck in time until the deed was done.

“What you should be worried about is what Maria’s gonna do to you when we get home.” Jesse rubbed at your back, insinuating that Tommy Miller was in for a rough welcoming from his wife.

Tommy straightened, “We’ve been through worse. However, I was passing through some ritzy section of town. Came across this necklace.” He elaborated, “Sparkles a lot. I think it’s real gold.”

“You think it’s real gold?” You asked.

Tommy nodded, “It’s real gold.” Jesse was quick to ask to see it and Tommy pushed himself off of the stage, hand to his lower back, “I know what real gold looks like.”

“If it’s legit, can we say it’s from all of us?”

“Ha!” Tommy teased, “You find your own damn bribes.”

He stalked off up to the back of the theatre, leaving you alone with Jesse and Ellie.

Jesse took a moment before he turned his attention to Ellie, “How are you doing?” He asked and Ellie was quick to retaliate with a falsified answer. Jesse side-eyed you, “Ellie.”

She looked to her feet, a tick of silence, “Thanks for coming back for me.”

“My friends problems are my problem.” Jesse shrugged at Ellie, his hand smoothed against your hip to tug you into his side. His lips pressed to your temple before he nudged your side to look up at him. Ellie grunted in disgust when he pulled you in for a tender kiss. Unspoken promises of love that would continue on your return to Jackson. Things would be OK.

“You’re such a sap.” Ellie mocked.

“Alright. How about, my friends can’t get out of their own damn way.” Jesse teased and pinched your hip, “That includes you.” Followed up with your name for a direct call out.

Ellie let herself laugh softly, “That’s better.”

The moment was peaceful. Your return home was on the precipice, too engulfed in the agony to leave Seattle behind to add to the two friend’s conversation.

As tactile as he could be, Jesse rubbed at your neck, the moment of bliss soon disrupted by a cluttered noise toward the direction that Tommy had exited in. Hand dropped from your neck, all three bodies turned to the noise before a muffled grunt — no mistaking it to be Tommy’s — sent alarm bells through you. Ellie jumped down from the stage, muttering a ‘Shit’ in passing as she yanked her gun from her holster.

Unable to sit by and allow them to see the commotion through, you copied Ellie and Jesse’s movements. Your gun tucked into the waistband, haphazardly pulled, safety clicked off as you followed them closely up the aisle and to the doors that concealed Tommy.

Both Jesse and Ellie swung the wooden doors open with ease, you were just a hair away from Jesse as he held out his gun to shoot the threat. A gunshot rang through the air, and your feet tripped over the sudden slump of his body. You hissed as your cheek burnt across the carpet, eyes scrunched as you looked back to check on Jesse — he was never one to trip with such precision in his every move.

Blood poured from the exposed bullet wound, Jesse laid dead and within seconds you scrambled to him, your hands shaking at his broad shoulders. Ellie called out his name in the softest tone you had managed to hear through the ringing of your ears.

"Stand up!" A female voice ordered when the tears began to blind your vision, hands to Jesse's face, nail beds painted in his blood. "Hands in the air, or I shoot this one too!"

Tommy Miller laid flat against the floor, his dignity clutching on by a thread in his weakened position against Abby Anderson. You remained knelt with Jesse's body, your fingers pressed to his neck pleading for a pick up on a pulse.

        In response to your disobedience, Abby shot at you and a perfect hit embedded into your shoulder, your vision white from the hot searing pain. Ellie yelled for your protection when you let out a wail from the unprecedented agony Abby had inflicted on you.

        On a high from adrenaline, the bullet in your shoulder proved to be a pain lessened by the sight of Jesse drained of colour. His hair began to saturate with his thick blood, your fingertips stroked through the strands, spit dropped from your mouth onto his flannel, as your body shuddered out a sob.

        The outside noise drowned out.

        Abby seemingly decided to spare you.

        Now, it was just you and Jesse. The last of the strength you could muster, you had half pulled him onto your lap, his head lolled and you wretched. The wound on his cheek gaped and exposed flesh beneath the skin surface, your fingers avoided tracing across it.

        Every decision made by you had a Butterfly Effect that gifted people with death. From what you had presumed, your three strikes had earned Joel Miller a death sentence. And now, as Jesse stilled, eyes glazed over, the fourth — and unexpected — strike scraped across you.

Jesse came on horseback to Seattle with the intention of bring his friends back, bringing you back to Jackson wrapped up in his safety. Now, as he laid deceased upon your lap, eyes wide to the atrocities, Jesse would never return to his position in Jackson and his last moments consumed by fear that his promise wasn’t followed through.

Stomach churned with devastation and guilt, you leant your forehead against Jesse’s and immediately recoiled. You couldn’t feel him anymore. Slowly, as his own blood pooled beneath him, Jesse was becoming a shell of who he once was and the one person amidst the blistering chaos that was brought by the Virus, that could make you feel something again.

Your head rolled back, unable to catch a breath, hands slick with the blood of your boyfriend, you let your eyelids close — unable to process the commotion happening within the room. For, nothing else mattered, your brain rewired from the fixation of avenging a man named Joel Miller, to assuring that Jesse’s body was retrieved and taken back to his home, Jackson, Wyoming, to receive the upmost respect of a burial and a headstone that read of his leadership qualities, and the type of person that made falling in love easier than falling asleep.

Finding the energy to peel your eyelids open, you took one deep breath before the butt of a gun was brutally smacked against your temple; body slumped next to Jesse’s, your clothes saturated in his blood, your hand still laid onto his body.

You would find the capability to somehow survive this attack. For Jesse; you would return home to Jackson.

[starhxney]

How can you get gayer this pride month?

Here's a little something in honor of pride month... EVERYONE GET GAYER NOW 🗣️🗣️🗣️ (but really just getting more in tune with the self)

Pile 1

I'm hearing get your get back. Be gay, do crime. Sexy revenge posting. Get sexy and put yourself out there, you're literally a baddie. You. Are. A. Baddie. Post those sexy pictures you've been hiding in your phone. Get all dressed up and go outside. Once you indulge in this energy of just feeling yourself and wanting to let the world know, you are going to have to beat the people off with a stick.

By the end of the month you might leave with a baddie on your arm and a new sense of self. Also having clear goals and knowing what you want will help you in all of this and more. If you want love, a hookup, new friends, whatever the case may be you HAVE TO get outside.

Channeled Songs: touch tank by quinnie, Mary Jane by Orion Sun, Get Sexy by Pgsspence

Pile 2

For my pile 2's I'm hearing get smart... Read... Indulge yourself in learning queer history because there is richness in knowing your history and in the history itself. I'm also hearing the word confess. Maybe some of you have a crush on somebody and you were thinking about saying something but you just haven't so you may want to spill the beans... Do it for the plot... Of looooooove ;) Yea... you should really confess. I'm also hearing something about and actually smelling lemonade soooo whoever that is for, there you go 🤷‍♀️ I'm also hearing that some of you might be coming out a period of rest and just inactivity and may be looking to get out and get active but not knowing what to do.

I'm hearing something about getting a job. 444. You're the embodiment of "will the plans make it out of the group chat".... Your brain is the group chat and now you are really looking to get out (similar to pile 1 so maybe you should read that one too if you feel called to) What do you want to accomplish this month? Evaluate what you need to do to reach your goals, what would make you happy, what you can do to go up from this point on. Actively thinking about what you want to do and about what you can do to be fulfilled this month. Try new things. If you can't think of anything, try anything and everything and with that I'm hearing think less, do more. After this summer you're gonna be like "let's run it back".

Channeled Songs: Can't Help My Self by Four Tops, If you do by GOT7, Still Down by H.E.R., Satisfied from Hamilton The Musical

Pile 3

You can get gayer by working on your self concept. Creating a better inner world for yourself. Working on your self concept can do so much for your inner and outer world. It can make things so much more beautiful and easier for the self and with that also getting to know yourself better. Experiment. I feel like you may have been grieving or just coming out of a period of sadness and you're looking for direction on how to lift yourself up and out. I want to say I love you.

Nourish yourself, do the things you like and don't give a fuck about what anyone else has to say and don't let yourself sabotage your greatness. You've been through a lot and you deserve to be happy. Care for yourself and affirm that you are the master of your reality. Do things that remind you that life is beautiful and you will have a breakthrough. You will have a change in your mind and the way you think. You deserve to feel the light.

Channeled Songs: Set Fire to The Rain by Adele, Here I Stand by Usher, Feel The Light by Jennifer Lopez

Here is a subliminal from a trusted sub maker!

Pile 4

Hiiii pile 4's :3, for you I'm feeling you need to express your truths this month. I feel like you're sitting on a big bag rn... Or how do they say it.. sitting on a gold mine. I feel like you have so much to offer and that there are so many things that you are juggling when you know there is this one specific thing that you really want to do right now. You have something to offer to the world. Maybe even multiple. There's something you want to put out and share.

You have the confidence to do it, it's just that you're indecisive but once you know what you want to do... when you give/share, you'll receive. Whatever it is you're thinking of releasing, putting out, saying, doing, that idea that you thought you should wait on... put that shit out NYEOW! Whatever it is you want to offer to the world or to a person, give it... I guarantee you'll be surprised. Like something so unexpected, in the best way. Whatever it is, it'll be well received. Be open cuz you're gonna be a big winner.

Channeled Songs: Do U Wrong by Levin Kali, Big Rich Town by 50 Cent

Happy pride month to all my queers out there. I love you! Let me know how I did and if this resonated with you. This is the start of something magnificent ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

[moonlitshifter]

I Believe in Shifting - But Now I’m Questioning My Entire Worldview

Dear shifters,

I am coming here today because I would like to ask you some questions about shifting that come from my desire to deepen my understanding of it, and because of my great curiosity about the topic.

I’d be grateful to anyone willing to share their opinion with me. 🙏🏼

I’ve been reading a lot about shifting, but I would like to expand my knowledge. Since reality shifting has not yet been scientifically examined, I can rely mostly on your experiences and thoughts about it.

Though I do believe reality shifting is 100% true and real, and I think it makes sense when I confront it with what I have learned so far about this human experience on Earth, there are still so many unknowns about the whole phenomenon itself.

Let me share a piece of my personal story and beliefs. I think this will be crucial in the context of my questions because there are people who might have a completely different view of life and what it means to be human in general. What I find hard to understand might be simple and obvious to you. I really want to hear opinions from people with different worldviews because that might help me review my own beliefs and maybe find understanding somewhere outside my current perspective.

Many years ago, I experienced what is broadly called a "spiritual awakening." From that moment on, my whole worldview was put to the test, and some of you who have experienced it know how it goes. Month after month, year after year, you start to understand more about something that sometimes feels impossible to grasp. It becomes obvious that life on Earth is just a temporary journey. Though one day you die, the journey continues, as your spirit - the true essence of who you really are - does not.

I believe in reincarnation. I believe in the existence of divine consciousness. I believe we come to Earth to learn about our true nature, and that this is our goal here. About this last belief, however, I am starting to question myself. Reality shifting is seriously challenging my belief system, and I’m beginning to wonder if things were never the way I thought they were.

Let me explain. One of the biggest things I have believed for the last six years is that humans are born on Earth without knowledge of their divine origin. Everything revolves around us discovering the truth of being a part of God, the source of unconditional love, and that is basically the point of it all. Though we are divine beings, we experience life through the mind, which by its nature is flawed and limited and prevents us from seeing The Truth. Life experiences are triggers for change, to help us finally see. They are lessons we take on the path we all walk back home, which is God himself/herself/themselves (I really don’t know what pronouns to use here, as God is not a person). This way of seeing things helps me make sense of life itself.

Because, as you know, life on Earth is intense - full of pain and suffering, sometimes hard to comprehend. It is full of problems that seem to never end. Most of the people I know, and I am one of them, go through life exhausted. I’m not saying these people never experience joy or happiness, but compared to the challenges they face, those moments of happiness seem insignificant. And yes, that is supposed to be the art of living: to grow and change to release oneself from suffering.

So we have religions, practices, and tools to help transform our lives into something better. Change is possible and available to everyone. If we truly want to change something in our lives, we can achieve it. But oh man, that’s not so simple. From my personal experience, I’ve noticed huge changes since I started meditating, praying, and analyzing my psyche but sometimes I still feel like no real change has occurred at all. It’s very disheartening because you put a lot of hard work toward changing your life, and then realize your life hasn’t changed much in the last decade. You’re still dealing with the same problems.

Yes, life feels this way sometimes. For me, remembering that it all happens for a reason - that all these challenges, life lessons, emotional and mental processes happen for me - helps me see they are opportunities to notice what doesn’t work in my life so I can take steps toward changing it. Also, it's the only thing that helps me survive sometimes.

I want you to know that I have a pretty good life. It doesn’t suck entirely. Life is not 100% awful. It has never been, though it has kicked my ass way too many times. What I want to say is that life is all these things, the good and the bad. A range of many different experiences. I’ve thought about it, we have so many incredible things here on Earth: art, music, love, nature, animals, and so on. It’s hard to live a human life, but it’s not like we only suffer and there’s nothing good to reach for.

God damn it, where am I going with this? My apologies. I’m unfortunately one of those people who, once they start talking, easily go off-topic.

Let’s get to the point.

With all that I’ve said so far, here comes my biggest challenge in understanding exactly what reality shifting is.

It all made pretty good sense to me, the concepts of reincarnation and karma still do, in a way but I feel like shifting kind of contradicts them, or maybe it doesn’t. That’s why I’m here: because maybe there’s something I haven’t noticed yet. Something I don't understand yet.

From what I know about shifting, it seems there are no limits. You can shift your awareness to any version of yourself that basically exists, and these versions are limitless. There is a version of you who is Mother Teresa or Donald Trump. There is a version of you who is Mother Teresa living in the 16th century. There is a version of you who is Donald Trump, but a hippie fighting for human rights in the 60's. You get my point. You can shift to being anyone, anywhere, anytime in history. You can also shift to being someone who is not Homo sapiens and doesn’t have a human form. As you can see, no limits.

You can make yourself the partner of Kate Winslet or Legolas because there is a version of you that is already their partner. You get it.

So, let’s say I shift to a version of reality that is perfect. Of course, for everyone it means something different, but I’ll give you an example of my perfect world.

In my perfect reality:

There is no homelessness or hunger.

There are no crimes; people don’t kill others. There is no rape, no hatred, and no jealousy.

People respect nature and treat animals as equals. There is no exploitation of the Earth. There is no air pollution. Humanity doesn’t use crude oil or produce plastic, and if it does, it’s 100% biodegradable. People don’t litter. Rivers and oceans are clean and healthy.

People treat themselves with respect, help each other, and are kind and compassionate.

People respect diversity. They don’t judge anyone’s looks, lifestyle, or beliefs.

Everyone has equal access to knowledge.

Governments exist to serve their people. Nobody seeks power.

There are no wars. People live in peace.

People take care of their health, eat well, exercise, and respect their lives.

People live in communities and have a strong sense of service to others.

There are no addictions.

Women and men are equal. There’s no racial or any other form of discrimination.

Humanity treats children with absolute respect and care.

People cooperate with one another in every aspect of life.

Nobody lacks anything, but people don’t overly value material stuff.

…and so on.

The question is:

✿ Where is the struggle? Do we need any struggle in order to live? What would life in a reality like the one I described look like? Where is the challenge in all of this?

I’ll elaborate a bit because I realize it might sound silly to you, but given my personal beliefs described earlier, it doesn’t seem silly to me.

Does life have to be the way I believe it is? Or is this just the next illusion I’m meant to shed?

You see, if I choose to shift to a better reality, one that lacks all these huge problems present in my current reality, then why was I born into this reality? I believe in some sort of destiny. I believe everything happens for a reason.

You may say that if I believe that, then wouldn’t shifting also be part of it if I discovered it after all? If I shift to my perfect version of reality, wasn’t that meant to happen? Yes…but it’s not that simple.

So, maybe I’ll drop the next question here to help better explain what I don't understand about shifting:

✿ Hypothetically, let’s say I’m dying here in my current reality from a serious disease, but before I die, I shift to another reality. What happens when I die in the reality I shifted from? I stay in my new one, right? But what if in this new reality I decide to live a long life, and then on my deathbed, I shift again to another reality I scripted for myself before it happened and I repeat the whole “procedure”? Can I do this forever? It’s a little bit like reincarnation, but you stay aware of your previous lives?

You see, humans have this little thing we call ego. Ego is a mechanism driven by the need to survive (at any cost). Ego doesn’t allow us to see our true nature, to see who we really are. That’s the human experience. Without ego, we couldn’t call it the “human” experience. We would just be divine consciousness inhabiting a human body or we wouldn’t have this human form at all, because what would be the point?

One can surrender their ego while living on Earth. It is possible. It is called a state of nirvana, and it’s the last stage that ends the cycle of reincarnation. A person who achieves it realizes their true nature, which is God, and after death, doesn’t reincarnate. Simple, isn’t it? Not entirely, because you see…

If there are no limits to shifting and it allows me to shift to versions of myself with different personality traits, skills, and experiences, can I simply shift to a version of myself that has achieved nirvana? Wouldn’t that be a cheat sheet? Achieving nirvana takes a lot of dedication and persistence. Supposedly, it’s the last stage of human experience for everyone, but it takes many lives to get there. (Well, I wonder if perhaps no one would actually decide to do this because of the ego. If we could simply decide to get rid of it at will, then all of us would be enlightened already. But hypothetically, it’s possible, right?)

The same applies to shifting to a reality where you don’t have the personality traits that cause you struggle in your current reality. For example, if you are shy in your CR, you could shift to a reality where you are confident. If you have trouble focusing or organizing yourself, you could shift to a reality where you don’t have those problems. Wouldn’t this be another kind of shortcut? Wouldn’t it rob you of something significant?

And yet, what if I scripted myself to be an expert in 20 subjects, to know 90 languages, play 30 musical instruments, and be good at 15 sports? I’m probably exaggerating here, but hypothetically, I could do it. If I shift to a reality where I can play the piano at a master level, even though I can’t play it at all in my CR, then it means I’ve shifted to a reality where I already learned to play the piano. That’s why I know how to play it, I had to learn it somewhere, right? Because otherwise, how else would I know how to play?

You might say there are realities where learning isn’t the only way to acquire a skill. But what if I didn’t script it that way, and I still scripted that I have 200 different skills I’m an expert in?

I’m not sure if I’m making sense here, but if you do understand what I’m trying to say, congrats because this train of thought probably derailed a long time ago. XD

You see, all of this makes me question what I believe life is really about. It’s not just about realizing that shifting has no limits, I already understand that. But the implications are so much more complex than I expected. It makes me wonder: what is the purpose of us being here? What is the purpose of life?

Maybe there is no purpose. Maybe the purpose is to let go of the need to find purpose in everything. Who knows? Well, not me :p

This post is very long already, so perhaps I will stop here. I know you probably don’t have answers to my questions (as reality shifting is still such an unexplored area), but I would be very grateful if you decided to share your views on the matter with me <3

If you’d like to share your thoughts, feel free to leave a comment or, if you’d prefer to discuss it in a private message, you’re more than welcome to do so.

xx

[hunipeye]

What Remains of Winter

Read on Ao3; https://archiveofourown.org/works/66008359

————————————————————————————

A little bit of housekeeping; You take the role of Mel Gold. Assume you did all she did in “Thunderbolts*”. However, y/n doesn’t have a personality entirely consistent with that of Mel, she’s not intended to be the same character.

I might interject with the odd Bucky POV chapter but it won’t be every second one and they’ll probably be shorter.

I also don’t intend to include a lot of Valentina Allegra De Fontaine, at least no more than is necessary. I’m too lazy to write about her complex relationships with each character so let’s just consider her an angel investor/spokesperson of sorts! Good? Great! I’m also not American so I don’t have a clue about how the government and shit works, I’m writing horny Bucky fic, not some “House of Cards”, “Succession” in-depth, masterful political drama lol.

While writing this I got so genuinely, unironically depressed over the fact that I couldn’t have Sebastian Stan that I had to stop writing it for a week. I was straight-up bedridden from lust.

This is my first time writing anything so it might not be good but I hope it’s not bad lol

————————————————————————————

It’s been 2 months since the formation of the New Avengers under your boss, Valentina Allegra De Fontaine, months before the beginnings of a momentous space crisis.

The blackmail you have against Ms De Fontaine has benefited you immensely, resulting in an unprecedented rise in rank and salary. Gone are the days of fetching coffees. With Valentina being nothing more than the money of the operation, you now act as a tactical field analyst and a liaison officer between the New Avengers and the public. Frankly, it’s all very new to you, but it’s better than grovelling at the feet of a woman who’d sooner have you killed than fire you. At least you have the guidance of a veteran (quite literally).

————————————————————————————

Chapter 1

“I understand your frustration, Senator, this change is as sudden for us as it is for you. We’re all moving at the same pace, here.”

My voice had become different after the attack on Manhattan, more stern perhaps. In my new position a change like that was necessary. My face was new, my reputation nonexistent. Due to my role in the attack - my revealing of confidential information to ex-senator Barnes - being kept on an entirely need-to-know basis I needed to make an example of myself and prove that I was more than Valentina’s old personal assistant. A goal like that is significantly harder in a world craving superheros when you only have vaguely moral assassins in your ranks.

The senator continued, “I don’t think you grasp the collective trauma the city feels. They need to feel secure. You need to get those Thunderbolts-”

“That is not their name, Senator, and we have established that,” I snapped, growing tired of having to explain our troubled naming conventions.

A huff sounded on the other end of the call, “I don’t give a damn what you’re calling your little band of merry men. What I do give a shit about is getting them out in the public eye and getting them formally associated with the American government.”

I could feel the crease forming in my brow as I retorted, “I’ll ask you once more to mind your language with me, Senator. You had no need for the Avengers to be in league with the Government, why is it different with us? Do you think you can frighten me and back me into a corner? Our group will follow the same outline as the Avengers; we aim to protect global stability, not just within the United States.”

His laugh was cruel, laced with hatred and arrogance, “But will you live up to their legacy? You don’t even have a name, in fact, you barely have a team. What was it I heard about that Bob guy? Can’t seem to keep it up, can he? Shame that your best asset has fallen flat-”

“Senator, I appreciate your interest in our new group but I really don’t see this conversation benefitting either of us.”

I didn’t wait to hear his parting words before I hung up.

My office was located on the top floor of the Watchtower, the floor-to-ceiling window behind me boasted a clear view of the setting sun over the New York skyline. Picture perfect, like one of those insufferable souvenir postcards. My desk was nearly overwhelmed with paperwork on everything from ‘Avengers’ copyright to surveys on what people wanted stocked in the vending machines littered throughout the Watchtower offices. Certainly below my rank. I had just begun organising everything when a telltale heavy knock sounded on my door. I didn’t need to lift my head to see who it was, “Come in.”

Bucky’s footsteps were steady as he entered and shut the door behind him without having to be asked. He was dressed casually, in dark cargo pants and a slim-fit, slate grey t-shirt that stretched ever so slightly over his upper-arms. I noted that his hair was still in that jaw length, wolf-ish cut. I secretly hoped he had no intention to crop it anytime soon.

“Busy?” He murmured, his eyes darting to the stack of papers I tried to put order on.

“Exceptionally Mr. Barnes,” My tone was flat and humorless, “What is it you need?”

He seated himself in the dark leather armchair in front of my desk without invitation, cocking his head to the side as he spoke, “I need clarification on our intentions here.”

My skin grew goosebumps under my satin blouse, the back of my neck grew hot and cold all at once. Intentions? Our relationship was nothing more than business, with the odd flirtation, we had no need to discuss intentions-

He continued, “Everyone’s growing impatient, you know? They need order, so we need to know your intentions.”

I suddenly realised I had been holding my breath and tried to exhale as steadily as possible. Bucky’s eyes seemed to bore into me, tracking every movement like a true marksman.

“I understand your frustration-”

He waved that bionic arm dismissively, “I don’t want your press statement. I don’t want to hear what you’re telling every media outlet. What are your plans? Real tangible plans.”

I bit my lip, forcing down the urge to shout back at him about how maybe this was easy to him but it was all new to me and that I felt like a mule with all the workload I was carrying. His blue eyes followed my bottom lip as it slowly slipped out from between my teeth.

“I’m working on it, Mr. Barnes. I am learning the ropes as I go and ask that you, and everyone else, stay patient as we move forward.”

He didn’t try to mask his scoff, “Fucking P.R.”

My nails dug into my thighs, I barely noticed the ladder that formed as a result, my mind in a haze of stress and frustration, “If you’re so damn eager to get your feet on the ground, what do you recommend we do, Winter Soldier?”

I stood up, my heels clacking against the polished black tile floor as I strode over to him, standing over his seated body. I forced my eyes on his face, not on how the soft, warm light above us revealed the shadows and contours of his muscled torso, or on how his forearm twitched as I moved closer, and not on how his trousers stretched over his thighs and hips, giving a faint outline of his crotch.

Yes, I would keep my eyes on his face.

“I’m working as best I can, Mr. Barnes. If you want to be helpful, by all means assist me. But if you’re going to come into my office and tell me how to behave, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

The soldier held my gaze, his face as serious as cancer as he retorted, “You didn’t mind being told what to do at the fundraiser party. What did you call it? ‘Working you’? All I had to do was give you a business card and you ratted on Val,” His face barely shifted as he continued, “You want my advice? Actually try to work with us. You’re not some higher up executive who doesn’t need to mingle with the talent. Like it or not, you’re in this business now, and that makes you the talent too.”

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean? Is it some veiled threat? You want me to fall in line and just take it?”

The unintentional innuendo hung in air for a heavy, silent moment before Bucky responded, “You’re a public figure now. You’re not some faceless assistant or a glorified waitress. People know what you look like, they know what college you went to, your allergies, your mom’s maiden name.”

I bristled at the mention of my mother, trying to remain composed. My back straightened as he rose from the chair, he was over a head taller than me.

“My point is, you’re the same as us. You might not have blood on your hands and you might be new, but we’re all in the same damn boat. You can’t run this shit on your own, you have no experience. So maybe you could stand to be with the workhorses and get out of this ivory tower.”

His tone was dripping with venomous distaste and the soldier slipped past me, making his way towards the door.

“Mr. Barnes,” I didn’t move as he turned back to face me, I kept my gaze stubborn and hard, “You should know I don’t view you all the way you seem to think. That’s in no way conducive to a successful working environment.”

His laugh was gruff and tired, “It’s all business to you. You want to turn a profit and make us some media sensation-”

“That is not me, Bucky, and you fucking know it,” I snapped back, striding toward him and pressing a manicured finger into his chest, “That’s Val. Don’t you dare make me out to be like that woman.”

I watched as his eyes scanned down my body to the long hole in my stockings that ran from my upper thigh to just below my knee, revealing a strip of bare skin. Bucky seemed to smirk as a cold, metallic finger ran along my leg, “You’re already falling apart”. The touch ended as quickly as it started. He paused a moment before continuing, ”So what is it you want?”

The question stumped me and its double meaning forced me to think about my response.

“I trust you,” My breath caught in my throat, “I trust you and Yelena and Alexei and Ava and Walker. And I trust you all to help advise me on how to move forward with this. But I need you to work with me, I won’t sit by and be a fucking secretary”. I threw my arm back and gestured to all the paperwork left untouched on my desk.

“I never expected you to be. I’ve already explained that.”

Now I was taking my frustration out on him, I sighed at my actions. “Alright, Mr. Barnes, I appreciate your help. I won’t keep you any longer.

“I’m the one who came here.”

I couldn’t bear to see the look on his face any longer, ”And I’m sure you’ve got all the answers you need, so good evening to you, Mr. Barnes.”

He wordlessly turned away from me, exiting my office and striding down the hallway. I let myself observe the tight muscles in his broad back before the door clicked closed and left me alone in my ‘ivory tower’ once again.

[voicesunified]

ㅤ"If his words are true as they appear to be, Michael. What exactly are we supposed to do about it?" Uriel asked, pulling down the box of cookies from his cupboard and placing them gently on the counter. They contained an array of all different flavors, from Uriel's favorite bakery on Earth. He only ever got them when he went down himself, which was quite rare. Uriel's role in Heaven while not… overly important, was to teach love and what it means to love without the influence of lust. Because there was a difference, and that was something Uriel wanted people to understand. Earth didn't necessarily listen to those teachings as easily as angels did, which made him want to visit Earth less and less as the generations changed.

ㅤThat didn't stop him from going down for his own self indulgence rather than work though.

ㅤMichael tilted his head over toward Uriel and watched him pop the lid off of the box, picking up his favorite loaded chocolate cookie and taking a small bite of it. "Then we return him, obviously. Creatures that are not a part of this path would throw the balance out of order. To disrupt the Heavenly Order is to ask for things to become difficult once again, if not outright dangerous. If he belongs somewhere else then it is our sworn duty to return him to where he came from. However one might actually do that."

ㅤ"While I understand your perspective on the matter," Uriel glanced over his shoulder allowing his own gaze to settle on Zadkiel. The young archangel was now sadly stirring the chocolate in the pot on the counter, lower lip poking out as he bit the inside of his own cheek to keep from speaking. "Isn't it proper that we give him a choice in the matter?" Turning back around Uriel pointed his half bitten cookie at Michael. "You would want a choice, wouldn't you?"

ㅤThe thing about the world though… Michael has learned it's drastically unfair and no one gets what they want. "In an ideal situation, Uriel, sure. Unfortunately, we don't always have the privilege of choice. The longer he's here, the more threads of fate we risk damaging. Unless you can prove to me his existence in the those lines isn't dangerous, the end goal will always be to return him."

ㅤ"Wouldn't that be a question for Azrael? It's his job to oversee fate with Raphael." He jabbed his cookie over at Lucid now, hearing Zadkiel turn the stove off behind him and start to pour the mugs. "Raise your opion with the Archangels. If Lucid chooses to leave or stay, let him argue it to the council."

Uriel’s words were in fact reassuring for Lucid to hear. And even in this short few hours of having met this alternate Heaven, he believed all of them. Call it his naivety or lack of judgment when it came to openly trusting. But things here were vastly different than the world the young seraphim had always known. To be told this Saint Michael disapproved of factional ideas went along with the display of his sword, but using it in a way that neither cut skin nor feathers. When a weapon was drawn, Lucid had only known them to either keep a threat back, or make its mark. There was never an in-between.

Pulled over to the table, Lucid settled beside Zadkiel, his eyes shining at the mention of hot chocolate. “I love hot chocolate! That would taste really nice. It is warm and comforting.” As the youngest archangel went about to make the calming drinks, the blue angel swung his feet back and forth beneath the chair.

Whether Lucid understood the others still found his words to believe, he certainly did not seem to push it beyond that one instance of insisting he was from another Heaven. The words simply came out as if recanting a story or matter of fact. He seemed calm at the moment, patiently waiting for Zadkiel or whatever was next to come.

[fiddleabout]

every time im like oh the football industry can't possibly get any stupider the ifab will kamikaze its way off a building hollering at the top of their lungs that i should never ever ever underestimate them

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

I’m the anon who sent you that ask about Sonic and Shadow’s relationship in the Chronic Sonic au. If your post saying you ignore long asks was directed at me, can you please just… post the latest version without answering? I would prefer to save it to my likes and maybe have other fans read my thoughts.

thank you

Well no, it wasn’t just directed at you, there are a couple long asks in my inbox (some of which are positive and very beloved and i cherish, Dopambles I’m looking at you <3). But you’ve sent your ask twice now and this one too so I’ll answer this one. I don’t really want to make this a big long thing, but I also don’t really wanna leave ya hanging when this seems so important to you so lets do this (everyone else can ignore this if ya want I’m going long-winded through everything.)

So, reasons i don’t like to respond to or even post long asks sometimes lets do this [cracks knuckles]

1. I don’t like posting things onto my blog that I haven’t checked over first. I struggle a lot in reading and comprehending long asks. I don’t know why, it’s weird, okay. Let’s leave it at that. I’m not gonna blindly post walls of texts to my blog without checking them over first, because I want to make sure I’m filtering asks so nothing harmful gets posted to my blog. You’d be surprised at how whack a lot of anons can get. Not to say your ask was whack, but I also am struggling to read it so it’s hard to say for sure! It’s not due to the nature of your ask, it is simply because my brain be like dat.

2. Sometimes, I just don’t like having to scroll through walls of texts that aren’t my own to get to my latest posts. I get a lot of asks as it is. I do love answering them, but when they get long, the amount of time it takes to scroll through em makes it hard to refer back to my previous posts and is just is not intuitive or fun when interacting with my own blog, which leads me to my next point

3. This is my space. My blog is by me for me. I choose to post and share to interact and have fun with other people but at the end of the day this blog is my space. I did not create it for anyone other than me. I welcome the people who find joy in my stories here, but this remains my space. If i was being paid for this it’d be different, I’d absolutely curate and change things to make it a better and easier experience for those that i charged to be here, but like… I’m not being paid for this? And to ask me to do what you want in my space so that you can have the experience you want is… i dunno it sounds a little entitled. (I’m not saying that you ARE entitled, only that it sounds like it to me personally.) Contacting me even after I expressed my difficulty in answering asks to try and convince me to post it for your sake is a little rude. I’m not a professional creator, I’m not a person with fans, I’m just a random dude trying to have a good time with other people on a dumpster-fire website. I’m not a creator trying to make sure everyone else is having a good time. This is what i do in my free time to relax and—

4. —being a moderator for other peoples hc’s and conversations is not personally relaxing to me. My blog is not a public confessions blog and I am not a public message board. I am honoured when people share their personal stories and how what I doodle has helped them feel seen and that things will be okay, but I’m not a place for other people to come say what they want to each other, I’m a person, not a message board. How other people use Tumblr is up to them, however, I am not going to change how I use tumblr so that you can have a better experience when it will make the experience worse for me.

5. If i answer asks, I don’t draw. And I like drawing. If I’m posting asks (even without answering them) and stressing about being the middle man in conversations that I will have to regulate to make sure conversations stay kind, that takes a lot of time and energy and I got so incredibly burnt out when i tried to do that. So i stopped. And I will not be starting up again simply so you can have a good time, because I will have a bad one. And this is my space to not have a bad time. If something stresses me out, I will not do it here, it is as simple as that. I have my whole irl to be stressed about.

These are some of the reasons I don’t like to post long asks. I have notified you that I struggle to read, I don’t understand why you continue pushing. I have amazing anon’s who send wonderful long asks who have been kind and considerate with me about my struggles reading and processing. They continue to send their wonderful asks and have assured me it’s okay if I never post them. I am confused as to why you cannot seem to respect my decision as well.

The final reason regarding my hesitance in posting your ask in particular is simply that your hc was not accurate to how I was aiming to portray the characters in the current timeline. You are more than welcome to hc and speculate, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I cannot simply post it without answering it like you suggest because I would need to clarify that it’s not true. When I used to do that, people would start to misinterpret my au’s and it stressed me out. It takes hours for me to write up responses to things sometimes because I want to make sure I’m being kind and thoughtful and accurate. I am honoured that you shared something personal but what you wrote is simply not where the characters are at right now. It could be them in the future, but it is still early in the au so that kind of resentment hasn’t set in yet. Shadow is hurting because he’s taking the brunt of Sonic’s negativity but he is resigned to it because for him nothing else matters as long as Sonic stays alive, even if he has to be the person Sonic hates in all this and that is heavy. He’s angry at him when he does not take care of himself, but he is not resentful. Sonic struggles with being a burden on all of his friends, not just Shadow. The way you described the relationship was closer to how Tails and Sonic interact than Shadow and Sonic and even then, there’s more going on that I just don’t have the time or energy to really walk through. And besides, I want to save that energy to draw out things later.

As i shared with another commenter who asked something similar, I can absolutely DM you your ask back if you want to save it. However I don’t understand why you need me to post it to save it your likes if you simply want to save it. You have your own blog you can post it to. Why does it need to be on my blog? Why do I have to do extra work so you can have an easier time to do what you want? I am very grateful for your interaction and love of my comic, and I understand it’s frustrating when people make things harder for you to have a good time, but that’s exactly what you’re doing to me by asking me to change how I use tumblr to suit your wants instead of what is easiest for me. I am not a public service you pay for. I am a person, a full time student with family issues, struggling siblings that I’m trying to help, a person who is struggling myself. I have a limited amount of energy in a day, I get tired quickly. If i want to continue to find joy in drawing I have to set boundaries. You may not always know why someone does something, I guarantee there is more here that I will not share because it is personal. Sometimes you just have to be okay with not knowing, you have to be okay not understanding, and you have to be okay without an explanation that makes sense to you. All you need to do is understand that often times there is a reason people behave the way they do. It’s not a reflection on you or their opinion of you, it is simply many other factors at play that lead to such an outcome.

I sincerely hope this did not offend you, I am not angry with you, nor do I wish for any of this to be taken as scolding or upset you. If it has come across that way, I apologize. I am sorry I am not in a state to give you what you want, and I’m thankful for your patience with me in reading through this and I hope it is enough to at least paint a little bit of a picture as to why I will not be posting your ask. It’s unfortunate that I ended up spending hours addressing this anyway both to you and to another commenter—the very thing I wanted to avoid—but I value you as a person and did not want to leave you feeling negatively if I could change that. I hope this does not affect your enjoyment or experience with how you were having fun with my au, and if it does I am deeply regretful. However, I do have to set boundaries and make sure I’m doing okay or there would be no AU at all. Thanks for your understanding and I hope you have a day as kind as you are.

[marypenelope]

You asked for it

List of my favorite Owl House AMVs and Animatics (mostly AMVs)

Some Owl House fansongs. Primarily Oh Geeez, Not Again (band that's written a bunch of songs for various cartoons). I also recommend checking out Joriah Kwamé's TOH musical. It only covers part of season 1, but it's pretty good.

Songs I associate with TOH (mostly Raeda specifically, because I'm obsessed with them

I sadly don't have a ton of fic recommendations, but here's a few I liked, as well as some fancomics you might enjoy:

Someone To Rely On by Smokestarrules

Amity discovers, slowly, that she may be the most well-adjusted person in their little group. Somehow.

She's not sure how exactly she's managed that one.

feet bleeding from bracing for endings by shesells_seashells

(Hunter is being removed from his uncle's care. It's a hell of an adjustment for a kid whose real world experience comes entirely from making up stories about the few people he sees around the house.)

dreaming and watching by anistarrose

After everything is over, Luz and King both have a lot to grieve.

Several Witches Are Typing by azhdarchidaen

Hexside's brand new flyer derby team are a little worried about their new friend. Okay, actually a lot worried. Between his total lack of knowledge re: normal teenager things and the worrying comments he keeps making in their group chat, it's pretty clear his life sucks big time. But what can any of them do for somebody stuck in the Emperor's Coven -- even if that person is someone they care about?

Something about the latest news from the castle doesn't track though, which means it's time to prove the Penstagram is mightier than the sword, and that even Belos himself is no match for a bunch of teens armed with timestamps.

Short Way Around by colafrap

Luz and Lilith get their hands on the tablet Philip wanted so badly. If he was willing to leave them for dead, surely this mysterious artifact shouldn’t be in his hands.

Things get a lot more complicated when that mysterious artifact is a child.

or: The Collector is taken through time, before Philip could ever use them. This changes nothing and everything.

(Ongoing)

Titan's Blessing by MarztheIncredible and urbanbirdbud

When Luz steps through the portal door, she feels an unbearable weight sit heavily against her chest for no more than a few seconds. Warmth accompanies it soon after and so she brushes it off as some magical side-effect.

When Luz arrives in the Boiling Isles, everything changes.

And she does too.

(Technically ongoing, but hasn't been updated in several years, so possibly abandoned. Still, the worldbuilding is really good)

Tag Team AU by @yogurthoopsart

Luz accidentally slips into the Demon Realm seven years before canon events. Without a way back home, she is secretly taken in by Emperor Belos and is raised alongside Hunter as his younger sibling and second Golden Guard – her human status hidden from everyone but her new uncle and brother. As the siblings grow closer and stronger over the years, they settle on a goal: heal Belos with wild magic, preferably without him finding out until he’s healed. 

(Discontinued, but the creator provided a synopsis of how the rest of the comic was meant to play out)

Two Doves And A Crow by @moonmeg

The story of how Caleb Wittebane fell in love with a witch, and what happens to her and their child Afterwards

(Ongoing; Caleb's wife is named Catherine here because the comic was started before we learned Evelyn's name)

I finished The Owl House and now I’m keening. Gimme all the fanart. Gimme all the fics. Gimme the Lumity, the Huntlow, and the Raeda. Gimme the AMVs. Gimme the playlists.

GIMMEEEEEE!!!

[doodlejoltik]

my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator

[longagoitwastuesday]

ngl it sort of pisses me off the way adults regard Gojo in Jujutsu Kaisen at times. Which could be a very interesting and poignant point in a good way if well written, but as it is it becomes mainly just frustrating and sad in a negative way.

Nanami saying Gojo never cared about anything or anyone other than himself crashes interestingly with Kusakabe saying the whole situation was just all his fault because he refused to kill Itadori. The students are very aware of those aspects of Gojo's personality, but overall they seem to regard him with way more kindness and fondness even when at their rudest, not truly coinciding with either Nanami's or Kusakabe's views.

[daddy-long-legssss]

had my personal assessment for work and it went well but i still felt like i could burst into tears at any given moment.