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potionsprefect · 1 year

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Time Away

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word Count: 2k

Summary: After the attack, Victoria heads back to New York

Rating: Teen

Category: Angst, Fluff

The flight was very quick, probably not the most environmentally friendly way to travel back home but Victoria didn’t care at this particular moment. She needed to see her family, however quickly she could get to New York was important.

Victoria grabbed her bag and headed into the arrivals lounge. She scanned the room looking for two familiar faces. Victoria spotted them smiling at her and she rushed over to them.

She wrapped her arms around her Mom, tears rolling down her face. Her warmth felt so familiar, she would never be too old for a hug from her Mom.

“You okay?” Jane asked.

Victoria smiled. “I am now.”

Jane pressed a kiss to the side of Victoria’s head, tears shining brightly in her own eyes as she gave her daughter one last hug.

“Hey kiddo.” Michael smiled as he hugged Victoria. She held on a little longer than usual, the new norm now given what she had been through. “How was your flight?”

“Ok.” Victoria replied.

Jane and Michael looked at Victoria with concern. They always got more out of Victoria. The one word answer made them anxious.

Not wanting to press further, they nodded and headed to the car. It was a quick journey home, Victoria didn’t talk much and kept her eyes looking out the window but glanced away to look at her phone. A small smile lit up on her face when she saw Ethan had text her.

She wished he was with her. Holding her hand, proving a gentle comfort to her. Instead there was miles between them, with only FaceTime to use.

The car pulled into the driveway in Westchester and Victoria climbed out.

“I’ve made you your favourite dinner.” Jane said as they headed into the house.

“Burgers?” Victoria laughed.

“With extra gherkins. Just how you like it.” Jane smiled.

“Your brother and sister will be coming over tomorrow. They got the day off work.” Michael said.

“And the kids?”

“Them too. They can’t wait to see you.”

“Me neither. I’m just gonna call Ethan and then I’ll come and eat dinner.” Victoria said. She headed into the living room and pressed dial on her phone.

“Glad to hear you got to New York ok.” Ethan said when he answered.

“It feels weird being here. I wish you were with me.” Victoria sighed.

“I know you do. I wish that too. I think the time at home will do you good. And we can talk everyday, whenever you want.” Ethan smiled.

“Thank you. I better go. Mom has made dinner.”

“Alright? Do you want to talk before you go to sleep?”

“No, I’ll be okay I promise. I love you.” Victoria replied.

“I love you too.”

The call ended and Victoria sighed. These few weeks we’re gonna be tough without him. Victoria wasn’t sure she could make it.

The next day was emotionally exhausting for Victoria. She appreciated her family all showing their support but all she wanted to do was get into bed and pull the duvet over her, shut out the rest of the world until she felt like saying hello again.

She tried to make small talk but everyone could see she wasn’t in the mood for talking. She had appreciated her niece and nephew giving her lots of cuddles, they definitely made her feel better.

She was now laying on her bed, having opted for an early night. Although Victoria wasn’t asleep, her brain unwilling to switch off, nightmares swimming around in her head. She glanced at the clock on her bedside cabinet. 2:56am.

Everything over the last few weeks has been playing on her mind. She felt guilty being back home, everyone in Boston was still grieving and here she was, hiding away in her childhood home from everyone who cared.

Am I being selfish? Should I be with everyone? What must everyone think of me?

A strangled cry left her throat, Victoria tried her best to suppress it but it was no use. One tear rolled down after another until she was a sobbing mess on her bed. She clutched her childhood teddy, trying to draw some comfort from it but it was no use.

She was broken, and she needed help. And help came in one particular tall form.

She missed him so much. She needed him here. Laying beside her, he would help her with all her worries. Victoria grabbed her phone. Would he be awake? Was he thinking of her in the same way she was thinking of him?

Victoria found his name in her phone and dialled the number. It didn’t take long for him to pick up.

“Victoria?” Ethan’s voice, groggy from sleep said.

“Ethan? I’m sorry if I woke you. I just needed to hear your voice.” Victoria trembled.

“It’s okay. Take a deep breath. I wasn’t really asleep. What’s wrong?” Ethan asked.

“I can’t do this. I miss you so much. I thought I’d be okay. That I’d have my family around me to help me. But all I want is you. Your warmth and comfort. I had a nightmare. ” Victoria began to cry again.

“Oh Vic.” Ethan sighed. “I’m so sorry. I should be there with you.”

“No it’s okay. You need to work. I should’ve called earlier yesterday evening. I’ll be okay as long as we can do that.”

“Of course we can. You don’t have to ask. You can call me whenever. You know that. Try and get some sleep and call me tomorrow.” Ethan said.

“Okay. As long as you’re not busy at work.” Victoria said.

“Victoria that’s not a problem. When you need me, I’ll be there.”

“Okay. I’ll try and get some sleep now.” Victoria said.

“I love you so much. Just know that.”

Victoria smiled. “I love you too. Thank you for being there for me.”

“Always.” Ethan said before the call ended.

Victoria put her phone down and tried to close her eyes, she pictured happy thoughts, of the upcoming future she would now have with Ethan. How they could finally be a couple out in the world for everyone to see. They were each others forever now.

Victoria figured she must’ve fallen asleep for a bit as the clock now said 4:19am. She couldn’t go back to sleep so she got up and put her dressing gown. Just as she secured it, her phone buzzed. It was Ethan.

Come outside.

Victoria furrowed her eyebrows. What did he mean? She got up and headed downstairs, pulling the curtain back.

She was sure her eyes were deceiving her because out the window, a figure was stood by his car. And he looked suspiciously like Ethan.

Victoria hurried to the front door and flung it open. Her eyes weren’t deceiving her. There was Ethan. Messy hair and clothes looking like they had just been thrown on and a small smile on his face.

Victoria found herself running towards him and she flung herself into his arms, his own tightening around her as he held her close. She broke down in tears as she buried her face into his shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Victoria asked as she pulled away.

“You need me, so here I am. I can stay for four days. Naveen said it was okay.” Ethan smiled.

“But it’s the middle of the night!” Victoria wiped her eyes.

“Which meant I could get here quicker. Although I’ll probably have to check my bag in the morning. I just threw some clothes in.” Ethan laughed as he grabbed his bag.

“It’s so good to see you. I’m glad you’re here.” Victoria smiled.

Ethan pressed a firm kiss to Victoria’s lips. “Me too.” He picked up his bag and took Victoria’s hand.

They headed into the house, a shadowy figure was stood on the stairs.

“What’s going on Tori? I heard the front door open.” Jane asked. When she saw Ethan, she raised an eyebrow. “Ethan? What are you doing here?”

“I asked him to come Mom. I know it’s the middle of the night, but I needed him.” Victoria replied.

“I’m sorry to disturb you Mrs Clarke.” Ethan said.

“No need to apologise Ethan. And please call me Jane. I’ll see you both in the morning.” Jane smiled heading back to bed.

Victoria led Ethan to her bedroom. He got dressed into some pyjamas and climbed into bed with her, wrapping his arms around her.

“I can’t believe you’re really here.” Victoria yawned as she tried to stay awake.

Ethan pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “It’s real Vic. Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Victoria snuggled into his embrace, soon drifting off into a deep sleep. For the first time in days, she slept soundly, Ethan’s arms proving the best comfort.

It was a few days since Ethan had arrived and Victoria’s mood had massively changed. Just being with Ethan had made her much happier, everyone could see it. Today was his last day and Ethan was due to leave in an hour. Victoria was soaking up as many cuddles as possible.

Spending time with him in her hometown had been amazing. Her family had gotten to know him better and they all loved him, just like she did. They spent time visiting all the places Victoria used to hang out, the parks she went to, the cafes and restaurants she loved. She was sad that he was going to go home back to Boston.

“Do you really have to go?” Victoria tightened her arms around him.

Ethan chuckled. “I don’t want to. But there’s only so long Naveen can hold the fort for.”

“He wouldn’t mind. He’s so happy that we’re finally together, he’ll probably let you stay off for a bit longer.” Victoria shrugged.

“For some reason I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of doing that. As much as I want him to.” Ethan smiled.

Victoria sat up and looked at him. “I’ve really enjoyed you being here. I wish you could stay longer.”

Ethan took her hands in his. “Me too. Everyone’s been telling me how much your mood has changed since I arrived. It makes me happy knowing that I have helped in some way.”

Victoria pressed a kiss to his hand. “You have. I think going forward I’ll be okay, so long as I’ve got you by my side.”

“Forever and always Vic.” Ethan smiled.

The couple laid in each others arms, talking about the future and everything that was heading their way.

Ethan checked his watch. “I should get going.” He pressed a kiss to Victoria’s forehead.

Victoria stood up. “Let’s get this over with. In a nice way. The longer we stall, the more upset I’ll become.” She smiled through tears.

The couple headed out where Ethan said goodbye to Victoria’s parents. They walked out the front door to the car, Ethan put his bag in the car.

“I’ll call you when I get home.” Ethan said, wrapping his arms around her.

“Drive safely.” Victoria said.

“Of course.” Ethan smiled. He leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to her lips, prolonging the moment for as long as possible. “I love you.” He whispered as he broke away.

“I love you too.” Victoria replied, burying her face into his neck for one last hug. Knowing she would have to let go, Victoria extracted herself from Ethan and let him get in the drivers seat.

Reluctantly, Ethan got in the car, giving one last glance to the woman he loved before staring the engine and driving away. Victoria stayed rooted to the spot until she couldn’t see the car anymore and then headed back indoors.

“Are you okay?” Jane asked.

“Yeah I am. I’m glad he came. I feel a lot better.” Victoria replied.

“He’s good for you. Your Dad and I are glad you’ve found someone like him.” Jane smiled.

“I know he is.” Victoria smiled.

Going forward Victoria knew she had the best people. With them by her side she could make it through anything that life threw at her.

I figured this was long enough instead of including what Ethan and Victoria got up to. Maybe I’ll do a separate fic, let me know your thoughts!

Tagging in reblog

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan ramsey x victoria clarke #ethan x victoria #playchoices #fanfic #open heart fanfic #open heart fanfiction #choices: open heart #angst #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week

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ezgithechaotic · 4 years

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pushing up the dasies . peter parker

pairing: Peter Parker x Reader, Peter Parker x female reader

summary: Someone has been stealing Y\N's flowers, and she is determined to find who it is.

warnings: she\ her pronouns (don't know if this one's a warning), mention of the death of a loved person, graveyard

author note: I’m sorry in advance if I have any fault. English is not my first language. But please let me know if you see anthing that doesn’t seem right. I really have no idea if this is good or trash. I’m getting mixed signs. So, please leave a comment about what you think, love you.

As a comic book nerd, I personally love both Andrew and Tom's Spiderman. Just thought this story fit Andrew's more, but feel free to imagine Peter as your favorite!

masterlist

The first time you realized a few flowers were picked from your garden, you didn't think much into it. The kids around the neighborhood liked to play hide and seek around your garden. You thought; it should be Thompson's girl, she likes flowers. It wasn't something that never happened before. You would simply plant new ones, it was no big deal, you could never get angry at children. But after some time, you started to realize the pattern. Every month on the same day, you found a handful of your daisies gone upon returning from your part-time job. Mrs. Thompson swore her daughter would never do such a thing without asking, and after the third time, you were sure somebody was stealing your flowers. Maybe it was that gruff man across the street that never got along with people. But you had a feeling if he had to do anything with your flowers, it would only be blowing them up.

Peter always wondered whom the pretty flowers and house belong to. The post box just outside the garden said Y\L\N, and he had always imagined an old sweet woman lived in the white-painted house with a green door. And Peter hoped he didn't make the poor woman too sad with missing flowers. Boy, was he wrong. You weren't old, and you were furious and determined to find the person who stole your beautiful daisies.

Your friends always wondered why you liked living in such an old neighborhood. The house was one of the few things your mother left you after she died, along with the considerable amount of money in your bank account. You could always sell the house, find an apartment downtown, so you can be closer to school that's what your friends told you every time you had them over. But you loved the house. You loved that the house held so many memories of your childhood, especially your garden. Even though your mother was a busy woman, she had always made time for you and her flowers. At the age of six, growing flowers with your mother quickly became one of your favorite pastimes. That week you did what everyone would do, changed your shift with Mary Jane to catch the flower thief.

So, no, selling the house or letting strangers steal your lovely flowers was not one of the many choices.

Now, Peter Parker was many things, but not a thief. Well, it depended on what you would call stealing. Surely picking a few flowers from a random garden couldn't count as stealing. And God knows he wouldn't do it if he weren't penniless. Trying to survive college and paying for an apartment didn't leave him much. The money The Daily Bugle paid was shit. He had been selling photos for the damn newspaper since high school, but it was no use, Peter had to find a job that paid more than The Daily Bugle. And there was no way he was going to ask Aunt May for money, even though she would be happy to give him some. But that was another day's concern, for now, the only thing he needed to do was be quick. Because he knew if you found out that it was him who was stealing, sorry picking, your flowers he sure wouldn't be able to swing away this time.

Peter honestly felt guilty about your flowers, they were lovely. And he knew this was a safe neighborhood, so he had no way of paying you back with saving you. He had been visiting Gwen every month since her death. It was one of the few things he could keep up with after he graduated high school. Daisies were Gwen's favorite. Peter knew he could easily find another place to pick the flowers, but he believed that there was something magical about the garden. He felt so much love around the house. Maybe it was a silly thing, but Peter thought Gwen would have loved that garden.

Y\N had been sitting on her porch, hiding behind the dark blue armchair, actually too anxious to face the flower thief. You felt childish after some time. It was just a few daisies, right? There was no need to act like a crazy woman. As you were getting ready to go back inside, you saw him. He had an average height, brown messy hair. He was wearing a black t-shirt and an unbuttoned baby blue shirt with a greenish-brown jacket. Y\N's anger turned back the minute she saw him touch the flowers.

"You, flower thief!"

A moment before, Peter felt like his whole body was on edge as if bells were ringing in his brain. But he was already late to realize she had been waiting for him and there was no way to run, he wasn't wearing his suit. Where were the damn spider-senses when he needed them the most? So, he just stood there, speechless, his hand hanged above the daisies. She was pretty, as pretty as the flowers before him. Guilt heating his face, Peter couldn't help but stare at you with his eyes wide open like a dumbstruck idiot. He felt like his lunch was climbing its way back up.

You were now, standing few steps away from him. "You've been stealing my flowers for months!"

Peter held his hands up in defense. "Look, I can explain."

Y\N put her hands on her hips, one eyebrow raised, waiting for an explanation. Your heart beating like crazy. Even though it was still bright and you were in the middle of a road, he was a man. A man taller and despite looking skinny, stronger than you. But you hold your face as still as you could.

"Go on then."

Peter couldn't find the words to explain. What was he going to say? Sorry, I thought my dead girlfriend would love your flowers so, I've been stealing them, I hope you don't try to kill me. No fucking way. His mouth opened and closed few times, making you sigh. You realized the boy wasn't going to give you any answer. He was probably taking them to his girlfriend or boyfriend.

"Are they pretty?" you asked, dropping your hands. Peter, very confused, kept on staring at her. You rolled your eyes at how silly he was. "The person you're taking my flowers to." Something at the back of your mind hoped he would say they were for his mother. Now that you were closer you could see the sweet hazel color of his eyes.

"Um-" His hand went up, scratching his neck. "She is."

She was.

He shuffled through his pants pockets. "I have a photo-"

"No." You stopped him. "I want to see if she is pretty enough for my daisies."

"What?" Peter tried to grasp his head around the idea.

"I want to see her and tell her that her boyfriend is a thief. C'mon."

"I don't think-" Peter was getting anxious, now. How was he supposed to tell you that her girlfriend was dead?

"Of course you don't think." You started walking. "C'mon, now. Take the flowers."

Peter didn't know what to do so he went with it. What could go wrong, right?

"I'm sorry," Peter said after some time. "I have no excuse for what I did."

His head hung low, watching his steps as he walked. He knew he would stutter if he looked at your face. Peter had a habit of getting tongue-tied around pretty girls. And, well, you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen. Mind you, he wasn't even thinking about Gwen anymore, which made him feel kinda guilty.

"It's okay." You had your hands in the pockets of your jacket. "My life's been boring lately. You were the only exciting thing, I guess."

"I'm sure you have more exciting things than me." Peter still didn't look at you but you could see him smiling.

"It's Y\N, by the way." You kept your eyes on him. "If you wanted to know the name of a woman you constantly robbed."

He laughed. "Peter, Peter Parker." His eyes finally met yours. It was ridiculous, how easy it was to just look at his face and feel safe even though he was a stranger. His smile grew even more. It was almost contagious, his smile. He had something about him that made you wanted to scream and purr like a cat at the same time. You felt yourself getting overwhelmed, he was making you weak at the knees. So, you pulled your eyes away from him.

Pull yourself together, woman! He has a girlfriend.

You were too distracted to realize where was Peter taking you until you arrived. It was the same route you took whenever you felt like talking to your mother. Peter and you were standing just outside of the graveyard. Your head whipped around, turning to Peter. He had a soft smile on his face.

"Peter, I-"

"It's okay."

"No, It's not okay." You took a deep breath, pressing your palms into your eyes. "I'm such a dick."

"No, you were just mad at me."

You slouched your shoulder, didn't know what to say. What would even one say in this situation?

"C'mon." Peter's warm hand was gently holding your arm, now. "Let's go see her."

You didn't talk until you arrived at the tombstone. Peter put the flowers in front of it.

"Daisies were her favorite." He had a sweet look on his face, he put his hands back into his pockets.

"They were my mother's favorite, too." You murmured, but Peter could hear you perfectly. "I think that's why I overreacted you picking the flowers. I wasn't thinking."

"Oh, It's not stealing anymore, then?" He teased. "It's okay, honestly. She would've liked you. You have that fire in you like you could make the world better just with a gesture of your hand. She liked that kind of people, that can light the room with their smile."

"I think I would've liked her, too." You said, your eyes on the tombstone.

Gwen Stacy.

Her name was familiar to you. You didn't know where, but you were sure you had heard before. Still, you didn't ask Peter anything, assumed he wouldn't be comfortable talking about it. You didn't say anything until you were out of the graveyard. You knew you would come back tomorrow to see your mother, but with Gwen on your mind.

The more you looked at his face the more you could see him. Peter wore his heart on his sleeve, he was easy to read. "You blame yourself." You said, nodding your head slowly. You smiled after seeing the face he made. "It's okay, I know the feeling."

"Your mother?"

"Yeah."

Neither of you talked for a long time. Peter could tell you weren't ready to talk about it. He knew it wasn't easy to open up, especially to a stranger. It'd been years since he talked about Gwen, so, he knew the feeling, too.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. It was a message from Mary Jane. "Just arrived home, you owe me."

"That's it!" You exclaimed, remembering your talk with Mary Jane. "That's how I knew her name!"

Peter, looking very confused, asked you. "What?"

"Gwen, her name was very familiar." Pocketing your phone again. "I have a friend, Mary Jane, who went to the same high school with Gwen. I've seen her in the yearbook. That's where I recognized her name."

"You know MJ?"

"Oh, yeah," you laughed. "We met in Brooklyn, probably four years ago. I think it was very late, some guy was trying to get her number even though she said no, like five times. And I hadn't had the best day of my life. So, I punched the guy and told him to leave her alone. We have been friends ever since."

Peter was amazed. He didn't know how much cooler you could get.

"You know her, too?"

"Yeah, We've been friends for a long time. My aunt kinda tried to set us up."

You laughed. Peter and Mary Jane seemed like two opposite characters. You would never imagine them together. But again, maybe Peter's pretty face was affecting your judgment. You didn't know. He made your mind foggy. At last, you found yourselves at your front yard again. Your eyes wandered over the empty spots that daisies left.

"Would you like to get a coffee sometime?" Peter was leaning against white fences that surrounded your garden. He had that sweet smile on his face again. "So I can pay you back for daisies."

You bit your lips to stop yourself from smiling so much. "Gwen was pretty enough for them. You can have some once a month when I'm not looking." Peter was feeling like you were about to turn him down. Both of you knew this wasn't really about the damn flowers. But again, Peter was every so often wrong about these kinds of things. "But you know, maybe not Saturdays. I'm usually free for a cup of coffee on Saturdays." Peter was ready to feed himself with only pasta for a week if it meant he would get to see you again.

You could visibly see Peter's eyes liting up. "Just one cup?"

You shrugged. "Tea is fine, too."

"I didn't know MJ had friends like you." He said, intensely watching your every move.

"Like me?" You were so sure something bad was coming, he was simply too good to be true.

"You know, this beautiful. If I had known, I would have visited her more."

"Wow, you are hiding a monster under that pretty face, don't you?"

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x female reader #pter parker x f!reader #marvel #peter parker imagine #tom holland #andrew garfield #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 4 years

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Only Friend

Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader [Robin!Jason Todd]

Summary: Gotham mourned for Robin. But who mourned for Jason Todd? Y/F/N Y/L/N wasn’t just another one of Jason Todd’s friends. She was his only friend.

Word Count: 7,000 [One Shot]

Warnings: Violence, Death, Loss, Grief

Y/N didn’t know what time it was. She hadn’t opened the blinds in her room for days. And she didn’t plan on doing so anytime soon. In fact, she didn’t plan on getting out of bed anytime soon.

She heard a knock on her bedroom door. From the sound alone, she knew it was her mother.

“Y/N, dear. Can I come in?”

She wanted to say, ‘No.’ She wanted to say, ‘Go away.’ But Y/N didn’t even have the energy to do that. So she just laid still with the covers over her shoulders and said nothing.

Her mom slowly opened the door.

Y/N’s family had been tiptoeing around her since it happened. They didn’t know how to handle the situation. Most parents don’t expect for their daughter’s best friend to die. No child should have to face grief like this.

But Y/N had no choice.

Because Jason Todd was dead.

“Hi, honey,” Y/N’s mother cooed as she walked into the room. Then she placed a plate of food on her nightstand. “I brought you something to eat.”

Y/N didn’t even so much as look at her mother, just continued to stare off into nothing.

“Is it alright if I open of your blinds and windows. I think you could use some fresh air.”

Y/N gave what appeared to be a half shrug, barely visible underneath the thick covers.

But her mother seemed relieved, it was starting to smell musty in the room.

Her mother sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Y/N’s face. “The funeral’s tomorrow.”

Y/N’s eyes finally looked up at her mother – desperate and scared. “Do I have to go?”

“I think you’d regret it if you didn’t, honey. You deserve your chance to say goodbye. Your father and I will be there with you.”

Then Y/N closed her eyes and burst into tears. “I had a dream about him last night. And I woke up and remembered–” she had to pause to catch her breath. “I-I-I remembered he’s g-gone.”

“Oh, honey,” her mom whispered as she pulled Y/N into her arms. “I know you miss him. I know. He was your best friend.”

Y/N pulled away and looked up at her mom. “He was my only friend,” she corrected.

———

Jason Todd was sitting at a lunch table by himself and reading when someone slammed their tray down across from him. His eyes flickered up in a glare, already expecting someone to try and pick a fight with him or something.

But instead he found a girl standing above him, smirking down at him.

No, not just any girl, the prettiest girl in their grade. No one else at this stupid school seemed to think so. But that just further proved Jason’s theory that everyone here were idiots.

“Hi,” she said confidently.

“H-Hi?” Jason stuttered back.

“I’m sitting with you,” she announced as she sat down. “I’m Y/N.”

Jason finally smirked and remained confused. “I know who you are…”

“You’ve never talked to me, so how was I supposed to know?” Y/N said back. “And you’re Jason Todd.”

“Yes?” He responded.

Y/N laughed at his confusion.

Jason Todd wasn’t popular. There was a disconnect between him and his peers. The kids at Gotham Academy were trust-fund babies and spoiled brats. They were such snobs that there were even cliques separating the kids who came from old money from those who came from new money. It all seemed ridiculous after literally starving in the slums of the city.

Jason Todd wasn’t a rebel. He didn’t lash out or let his inability to connect to the other students make him feel down. Ask any teacher who had him and they would say he was a straight-A student and he never once caused trouble in their class. He was always polite and respectful, responsible and well-behaved.

Jason Todd wasn’t bullied. Maybe it was a vibe he gave off, but somehow the other kids knew not to mess with him. Jason came to school with a black eye once, and he always wondered if it freaked them all out enough to never try to mess with him – not that they would ever stand a chance against him.

In regards to the middle school hierarchy, Jason was nobody.

Because Jason Todd wasn’t really a kid. He just had the misfortune of also not being an adult yet.

He was just a poor punk from the Narrows, who just happened to try and steal the tires off the car of Gotham’s notorious vigilante. He didn’t belong at this snobby prep school.

But going to school was one of Bruce’s demands after making Jason his new Robin.

Jason just didn’t know how to make a convincing argument for why he didn’t need social interactions with kids his own age.

“Is this some kind of dare?” Jason asked Y/N.

She froze her eating and scoffed at him. “You’ve watched too many bad teen movies. What kind of asshole would I be to do something like that?”

But Jason still looked around the cafeteria, expecting to find a table full of people watching this interaction and trying to hide their giggles.

Y/N finally slammed down her food, sat back, and crossed her arms. “People at this school suck.”

“Uhh…OK?”

“I saw you reading Pride & Prejudice the other week. And you were wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt yesterday. You helped pick up Jill’s stuff when her backpack ripped open, while everyone else just laughed.” She paused. But Jason waited. “What I’m saying is that I’ve decided that you don’t suck.”

“Oh,” Jason blurted out.

“Do you honestly think anyone at this school even knows who Jane Austen is? And some dude in my English class tried to tell me Nickelback was his favorite band.”

Jason laughed at that. “How did you even respond to that?”

“I asked him if he was fucking with me and then the teacher yelled at me for swearing. And I told her, ‘How am I supposed to react to a Nickelback fan without using profanities?’”

Jason laughed again.

That was how Jason and Y/N became best friends. That was all it took.

Jason would soon find out that Y/N didn’t belong here just as much as him. She didn’t come from money – just your normal, middle-class suburban family. She’d won a full-ride scholarship to Gotham Academy, which was impressive since they only handed out one per grade.

Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne made one 30-second call and Jason was accepted – no questions asked.

Y/N was rather mature for her age, but it wasn’t the product of being Batman’s sidekick and fighting the criminals of Gotham City.

—

Any second Jason had to be a normal kid was spent hanging out with Y/N. Jason was at Y/N’s house all the time, loving Y/N’s parents and envious of the stable home Y/N got to grow up in.

It took awhile for Jason to feel comfortable inviting Y/N to the manor, despite Alfred saying he was welcome to have friends over whenever he wished. Jason eventually got over his embarrassment. While Y/N seemed in awe of Wayne Manor, the evidence of Jason’s wealth didn’t make her treat him any different. They mostly hung out in Jason’s room anyways. Or in the kitchen when Alfred made them snacks.

While they were at school, they always ate lunch together and walked to classes shoulder-to-shoulder any chance they got. They only needed each other.

They ignored everyone else. And in return, everyone else left them alone.

For the most part.

—

Jason should’ve known something was wrong when he heard the commotion on his way to third period.

When he heard kids start chanting “Fight!” his gut somehow knew Y/N was involved.

Jason shoved his way through the thick circle that was surrounding the drama.

He reached the opening just in time to see Y/N tackle a boy named Parker to the ground. The crowd gasped, not actually expecting them to actually go through with violence. Then Y/N lifted her fist and landed a punch to Parker’s face.

But Jason quickly stepped forward and pulled Y/N off.

“He’s not worth it, Y/N.”

Recognizing the voice of her best friend, Y/N allowed him to pull her away.

“Gonna let your boyfriend pull you away?” Parker yelled out.

Y/N whipped back toward him, but Jason wrapped his arms around her and held her back. “Y/N, leave it!”

“I’m not the one with the a black eye and bloodied nose, asshole!” Y/N screamed, only half fighting Jason’s hold. “Next time, I’ll kick you so hard in your tiny dick that you won’t be able to have kids.”

Jason managed to drag her through the halls with a vice-like grip on her hand.

Y/N scoffed at his efforts, “Where are you even taking me?”

“We’re ditching class.”

She shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

Jason knew exactly what exit didn’t have an alarmed rigged to it or any video surveillance. He also grabbed a cellphone in his back pocket and started to type frantically.

“You have a cellphone! What? Since when? My parents said I can’t get one until high school,” Y/N groaned enviously.

Little did she know, Jason had set up an AI system that would call the school with Bruce’s voice and leave a recording about how Jason needed to be dismissed from school. It was perfect for Bat emergencies.

He had added Y/N’s parents voices to the algorithm a few months ago, having a hunch it would come in handy.

As soon as they were a safe distance away from the school, Y/N let go of Jason’s hand and walked slightly ahead of him.

With their freedom secured, Jason could focus on Y/N now.

“What did he do?” He asked her gently.

Y/N was smart and calculated. If she’d picked a fight with someone, Jason knew it had to have been caused by something serious.

“Doesn’t matter,” she mumbled.

Jason rushed forward and stopped her walking. “Hey, come on. It’s me you’re talking to…”

Y/N nodded, knowing he was right. They told each other everything, or so she thought.

Her eyes went to the ground, too embarrassed to meet his gaze. “We were in health class. Today was the unfortunate lesson for learning male and female anatomy. Mrs. Martin started talking about…” Y/N hesitated. “She started talking about boobs. Said something about when girls start seeing a change.”

“And?” Jason urged softly.

“Parker chimed in and said, ‘Or if you’re Y/L/N… never.’”

Embarrassed by her confession, Y/N started walking again – quicker, this time.

Jason jogged to catch up to her. “Fuck him. Only a loser asshole would say something like that.”

“Well…he’s probably right.”

Jason shrugged. “Who cares?”

This time Y/N stopped walking. “You don’t get it,” she snapped. “Every girl in our grade is growing up. And I still have the chest of a boy. My mom won’t even let me buy a bra because she says I don’t need it yet.”

Jason was speechless.

To be honest, he had never really noticed. Y/N wore baggy band t-shirts or flannels all the time. He wasn’t exactly studying her silhouette when they hung out. But he never imagined that Y/N would be bothered by something like that.

“Sometimes I’d just like to…I don’t fucking know…feel like a girl.” She paused. “A pretty girl,” she emphasized.

Jason stared into her eyes. “You are a pretty girl.”

Y/N sighed and rolled her eyes. “J, you don’t have to say that.”

“I’m serious. You’re the prettiest girl in our grade, Y/N.”

That caught her off guard. He’d never said anything like that to her before.

Sure, Jason said nice things to her. But it was usually him complimenting her taste in music or thanking her for showing him a new book he loved. But he’d never called her pretty before.

Jason, worried that he’d exposed himself, pulled her to him so he could give her a noogie. And the moment was broken.

“Jason! I think I’ve proved today that I will hit a bitch!”

He just laughed and playfully shoved her away. “Come on. I’ll buy you one of those embarrassing frappuccinos from Starbucks.”

“Excuse you! They’re not embarrassing. They’re delicious.”

Jason could tell Y/N didn’t want to talk about the fight anymore. So he thought distracting her was the next best thing.

And, by some miracle, they returned to school the next day without any punishment.

But Jason wasn’t done yet.

Parker didn’t realize he was messing with Robin’s best friend.

Jason was patient. He waited for the precise moment when Parker would be alone.

A week after the fight, Parker turned the corner of an empty hallway and jumped when he nearly ran into Jason.

“What do you want, Todd?”

Jason took a step toward him and lowered his voice, “If you ever say anything like that to Y/N again – or to any girl, for that matter – I won’t hesitate to beat the shit out of you.”

Parker side eyed him. “Yeah, right.”

Without hesitating, Jason reached forward, grabbed Parkers palm, and snapped the index finger of his dominant hand.

Parker let out a screech of pain and fell to his knees.

Jason kneeled down to whisper in his ear, “No witnesses. No cameras. And I’m actually in gym class right now, running the mile. No one will believe you.”

Parker looked up at Jason like he was a madman.

Jason smiled and patted him on the head. “Remember what I said.”

After that, Parker never even so much as looked in Y/N’s direction.

—

Jason and Y/N looked out for each other, protected each other

And Jason may have kept his other life of Robin from her, but Y/N seemed to already sense that there was something Jason was hiding. It wasn’t just something, it was dark.

When Y/N started noticing bruises and cuts on Jason’s body, she grew concerned. But she wanted to observe and think of all the possibilities before she ever brought it up.

Then one day at her house, she made a joke and slapped Jason playfully on the back.

He hissed uncontrollably and his entire body froze.

“Jason?” Y/N asked with concern.

“I’m fine. You just surprised me and knocked the wind out of me,” Jason said hurriedly.

But Y/N wasn’t stupid. She quickly grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and ripped it up so she could see his back.

“JASON! What the fuck!” She gasped in horror as she saw the bruises scattered across his skin. She had never seen anything like it.

“Shh!” Jason tried to calm her to stop her parents from coming in and then having her immediately showing them too.

“What happened?” Y/N whispered, her eyes glazed over with tears.

“Nothing. I’m fine, Y/N. I promise.”

“You’re not fine. And this isn’t the first time,” Y/N countered. “You think you do a good job of hiding them, but I see the other bruises and cuts, Jason. And don’t think I don’t notice how often you skip school because your ‘sick.’”

Jason stayed quiet. He didn’t want to lie to her. But he couldn’t tell her. It could put her in danger. And if Bruce ever found out, he’d put a stop to the whole thing. Jason would never be Robin ever again.

“He does it,” Y/N whispered.

Jason blinked. “Who?”

“Bruce,” she clarified. “He beats you, doesn’t he?”

Jason’s eyes widened in horror. He knew Y/N was weary of his adoptive father. She noticed how absent he was from Jason’s life, then took note of how cold he was when he was present. But her theory made perfect sense. And if the roles were reversed, Jason probably would’ve come to the same conclusion.

“Y/N, Bruce has never hurt me.”

She frowned. “You don’t have to protect him. And you don’t have to take his shit. I knew something was off about him ever since I met him. But I didn’t think it was this.”

“Y/N…” Jason began.

“Does Alfred know?” She couldn’t imagined him every letting something like this happen if he did. Y/N had grown to love Alfred almost as much as Jason.

“There’s nothing for him to know, Y/N.” Jason laughed. “I was trying to walk across the railing above the great hall and fell and landed on my back. I didn’t tell you because I was embarrassed, OK?”

He knew from Y/N’s face that she wasn’t convinced. But she also knew not to push someone who was in the position she thought Jason was.

But to his horror, tears started falling.

“I just…I want you know that I’d do anything for you. You can live here! My parents love you and they’d take you in! Or-or-or we can run away together – just you and me.”

Jason hated seeing her cry. She rarely ever did it. And to know he was the cause made him feel sick.

Not knowing what else to do, Jason pulled her into a hug.

“I’m OK, Y/N. Promise. You don’t have to worry about me. Please don’t cry.”

“We just have to steal some of the stupid jewelry he has laying around and we’d be set for life,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

Jason laughed and pulled away. “Bruce took me in. Gave me a better life. He’s protected me. I know you don’t believe me, but the bruises aren’t because of him.”

Y/N wiped the tears away sloppily and nodded, but they both knew that Y/N didn’t believe him.

Y/N didn’t look at Bruce the same since that day. Not that she spent a lot of time around him.

But Bruce shared a look with Jason when he received the first very harsh glare from the pre-teen girl. It ended with a very uncomfortable conversation between Bruce and Jason where the boy explained what theory Y/N had come to.

Though Bruce said very little in response, he was wracked with guilt. To learn that someone thought he had the potential to behold the evil he tried so hard to eradicate in the world? It made Bruce sick to his stomach.

———

Now Y/N stood with her head hung low, in a crowd dressed in black.

These people didn’t know Jason Todd. Maybe they played the part of mourning funeral goer well. But Y/N saw their performances still.

The only people Y/N recognized were Bruce Wayne, Alfred, and Jason’s older brother, Dick Grayson. She’d never met him before, only seen pictures of him around the manor. Jason always seemed disappointed when Y/N brought Dick up or tried to ask about him. Y/N got the impression that he wasn’t all that great of a brother to Jason. Especially when it was obvious Jason looked up to him and was desperate for some sort of fraternal relationship.

Y/N looked up at her mother when the priest was finished with whatever he was saying. His words were impersonal, sullied by religion, and did nothing to comfort Y/N. He didn’t even say one thing about what made Jason so great.

“Can we go now?” She whispered to her mother.

She patted Y/N’s back. “There’s a gathering inside the house now. We should say our condolences to Mr. Wayne and Alfred.”

Y/N frowned at that. The last person she wished to talk to was Bruce Wayne.

She had been watching the man through the entire service. He was stoic and collected. There didn’t seem to be any sadness to be found in his eyes.

The longer Y/N watched him, the angrier she became.

“Please, let’s just go,” Y/N begged her mother.

People were making there way into the manor now and weren’t paying any attention to a girl, despite the fact that she was the best and only friend of the boy they were pretending to mourn.

Her mother gave her a sympathetic look. “Honey, don’t you want to say hi to Alfred. I’m sure it would make him happy to see you.”

Y/N knew her mother was right. She could do that for Alfred. Plus, he gave the best hugs, and Y/N could sure use one of them right now.

They waited in a sort of informal line. Y/N wanted to hit everyone in front of them as she was forced to listen to their empty and rehearsed sympathies. Bruce didn’t say much in return, simply thanking each of them.

But when Y/N and her parents were finally up, Bruce Wayne’s expression shifted.

It was the first time Y/N saw any sort of emotion from the man. He looked heartbroken at the sight of Y/N, who’s hand was tightly gripping her mothers.

Bruce, standing at 6’2, knelt down to be at Y/N’s eye level.

“Hello, Y/N.” He greeted quietly so no one lingering around them could hear.

Y/N only glared at him.

If she were being honest, she was surprised he even remembered her name.

But Bruce continued. “Thank you for coming today. I’m sure the past few days haven’t been easy for you.”

Then he cleared his throat. And Y/N’s brow furrowed at the sound. Was he trying to hold back tears? No, that couldn’t be possible.

“I wanted to thank you for being such a good friend to Jason. He talked about you all the time. I’m glad he had someone like you in his life.”

Y/N felt nauseous at how genuine Bruce Wayne’s words sounded. His eyes were even more sincere.

What happened to the cold and distance man she’d had little to no interaction with?

‘He has an audience now,’ Y/N told herself. ‘He knows everyone’s watching. He’s performing just like the rest of them.’

“What did you do to him?” Y/N finally whispered to him.

Where she got the courage to speak to an adult in such a way, she had no idea – especially one as powerful as Bruce Wayne.

Bruce tensed at her question. Was that hurt in his eyes?

“Y/N!” Her mother hissed down at her.

“It was you. I know it was,” Y/N muttered as her lips trembled and tears started falling. She thought she’d run out of tears, but this was her final outburst.

“Y/N, enough!” Her mother hissed again and then made eye contact with Bruce and Alfred. “I’m so sorry. She’s not…she’s not handling any of this well.”

“You did this to him!” Y/N yelled. “He always had bruises…and-and-and cuts! You used to hurt him!”

“Y/N!” Her father finally chimed in, completely stunned by his daughter’s accusations.

“I hate you!” Y/N screamed in Bruce’s face as tears flowed down her face.

With that, she ripped her hand from her mom’s grasp and made a run for it. She heard her parents yell her name, but she ignored it and kept running.

Bruce stood up, looking unfazed from Y/N’s hateful and accusatory outburst.

“We are so, so sorry,” Y/N’s mom insisted. “She’s never done anything like that before.”

Bruce held up a hand, stopping them from continuing. “It’s alright. Really.” Then he sighed. “I’ll have Alfred go find her in a bit. Perhaps she just needs to let out some steam.”

Y/N didn’t even realize where she was running until she ended up at Jason’s bedroom.

Her entire body shook with sobs as she opened up the door.

It looked exactly the same, like nothing had even happened.

Y/N walked to the other side and slide against the giant windows, curling into a ball on the floor with her arms hugging her knees to her chest.

She cried and she cried and she cried.

There was no way for her to know how long she’d been there. But her head snapped up when there was a knock on the doorframe.

Dick Grayson leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed and a sad smile on his lips.

“Hi,” he greeted softly.

Y/N sniffed and rubbed the snot from her nose with the back of her fist, “Hi.”

“I’m Dick,” he introduced as he closed the door behind him and sat on the foot of Jason’s bed, making sure to give Y/N her space.

“I know,” Y/N answered back through a stuffy nose.

“Alfred tells me you and Jason were good friends.”

“We were each other’s only friend,” Y/N corrected him.

Dick nodded slowly.

“I hate him,” Y/N mumbled.

Dick winced. “Jason?”

“Bruce.”

“Believe it or not, I know how that feels,” he sighed.

“Did he hit you, too?” Y/N asked with wide eyes.

Dick opened his mouth, but was so shocked by the question that no words escaped.

“Why didn’t you help him?” She followed up with. “Where were you?”

Dick knew she wasn’t asking what he felt like she was: Why didn’t you stop the Joker? Why was Robin all alone? Why didn’t Batman call you for help?

But that didn’t stop her interrogation from hurting him.

“I haven’t always been there for him,” Dick finally admitted. “Actually…I’ve never really been there for him.”

Y/N looked at him with bewilderment. “Umm…” she sniffed. “I should find my parents.”

When she stood up, something caught her attention on Jason’s desk.

Y/N’s hand shook as she picked up Pride & Prejudice. He was the only middle school boy she’s ever seen reading a Jane Austen book. It was one of the reasons she wanted to befriend him in the first place.

“Keep it,” Dick surprised her by saying.

She quickly turned around and gave him a questioning look.

“You should keep it,” he told her. Then he looked at the overflowing book case she was standing near. “Take whatever ones want. He’d want you to have them.”

Y/N’s eyes flickered through the bookcase. Her heart was telling her, ‘No, they’re his books. He’ll need them when he gets back.’ But Jason Todd wasn’t coming back.

So she reached up and grabbed Jane Eyre and then Frankenstein.

“That’s it?” Dick asked. Because he would’ve let her take Jason’s entire collection.

Y/N nodded shyly.

Dick escorted her through the house and back to the gathering.

When she saw Alfred, Y/N rushed forward.

Dick’s heart ached as he saw the butler immediately kneel down and pull Y/N into a hug. He wondered what the man whispered to her. Whatever it was, it seemed to comfort her in a way that apparently nothing else was.

Then Y/N’s parents returned to her side. Dick expected them to scold her for her earlier outburst, but they just seemed concerned and started making their leave.

Y/N looked behind her and searched through the crowd to find Dick again. When she did, she gave him a sad wave.

Dick returned it with a sorrowful smile.

———

8 Years Later...

Jason had been keeping tabs on her since he returned to Gotham. He kept his distance, remained out of sight. He would jump from rooftop to rooftop as she walked home from a night class. Or he would wait for the window of her apartment bedroom to go off if it was a slow night of patrolling.

He told himself it was out of curiosity. But he knew deep down he was making sure she stayed safe.

Jason was happy to see that Y/N didn’t retain her lonesome ways in her life after his death. He frequently spotted her having dinner or drinks with friends.

But Jason didn’t know how to feel when it was clear that Y/N had no romantic partner. Was he relieved? Was he irritated that someone didn’t love and care for her the way she deserved? Would he have been jealous if there was someone in his life?

Jason wanted to find her as soon as he was brought from the dead. Even when he felt like he’d gone insane, when his thoughts didn’t make sense and he was confused…her face still echoed through his mind.

But vengeance became his priority.

And with it, Jason slowly convinced himself that it was best to stay far away from the only person he still cared about.

But that didn’t mean her didn’t want answers still.

After his war with Bruce – or really, his attempted murder Batman and the Joker – Jason allowed himself to actually look back on his old life, the parts that didn’t involve being a child vigilante.

Still not on speaking terms with Bruce. Jason decided to get his info from another source.

Cue a month or so after his brush with Bruce, Jason blindsided Dick the next time he was in Gotham and slammed him against the closest brick wall.

Jason used to look up to Dick as a kid, despite his older brother rarely even giving him the time of day.

But now, Dick was quite literally looking up at Jason.

While Jason died a 13-year-old Robin, he was now a 6’3 man who had the set of a heavyweight boxer. Dick might be more flexible and acrobatic, but Jason had brute strength.

“What? B tell all of you not to talk to me?” Jason challenged when Dick didn’t fight his hold or speak to him.

“What do you want?” Dick asked evenly.

“Why did you keep tabs on her?” Jason growled, his voice distorted through his helmet.

“Keep tabs on who?”

“Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

Dick finally had enough of being bullied and shoved Jason’s grip off him. “Why don’t you look her up yourself? I’m sure you have no issue with hacking every personal database of hers.”

“That’s not why I’m asking,” Jason growled.

In fact, Jason had already done everything Dick had suggested. Which made him see that she had made a third-party domestic violence report to the police a week or so after Jason had died. And she had kept following up with it until the police finally came clean and told her there was no evidence to support her claim and she was wasting her time.

It seemed Y/N was the only person that fought for Jason after he was gone. She had just picked the wrong fight.

“Why did you keep tabs on her?” Jason clarified.

“I just wanted to make sure she was OK.”

That caught him off guard a bit, seeing as Dick never gave a shit about Jason when he was alive. So why would he look after his best friend?

“What? Out of the goodness of your heart?” Jason ridiculed.

“She didn’t handle your death well, Jason. She even picked a fight with Bruce at your funeral.”

Jason smirked behind the safety of his helmet at the image.

Dick sighed and finally put down his defenses. “I failed you, Jason. All of us failed you.” He shook his head as he got lost in a memory. “Y/N even asked me why I hadn’t tried harder to protect you.”

Dick’s eyes saddened. “I figured if I couldn’t be there for you, the least I could do was make sure the most important person in your life was OK.”

It wasn’t the answer Jason was suspecting, but it was all he came for.

“Will you go see her?” Dick asked as he saw that Jason was about to take his leave.

“We were kids. Things have changed,” Jason grunted.

“I don’t think any of that would matter to her,” Dick defended. “I think she’d like to see you and know you’re OK.”

“Mind your business,” was the last thing Jason snapped at him before jumping off the rooftop and disappearing.

————

Jason did what he said: he left Y/N alone.

He watched over her when he could. But most importantly, he didn’t drop a ghost from the past back into her life.

But he also tried to find that ghost in himself.

Somedays he thought that Jason Todd was lost forever.

But other days, like today, he still seemed to live on.

Jason browsed through the books on the shelves. He missed so many of them when he was dead and then when he reinvented himself.

Now he saw books as a time to fill in the empty space.

He was lost reading the back of covers when he heard it. No, when he heard her.

Next thing Jason knew, he was walking toward it.

“I’m sorry, dear. We’re all sold out of that title. You should’ve reserved it weeks ago,” one of the clerks told her with sympathy.

Jason peered between the shelves and caught a glimpse of y/h/c.

“I know. I just totally spaced. I think I’ll just browse for something else. Thank you for your help.”

Her voice sounded mostly the same, maybe a bit more mature. But he still would recognize it anywhere.

Jason knew he shouldn’t move any closer.

But he couldn’t help himself.

He was just one aisle away from her now, only a bookshelf separating them.

He slowly edged around the corner and smiled as he saw the massive pile of books that Y/N was trying to juggle in her arms. When she tried adding one more, they broke free from her grasp and stumbled loudly to the ground.

Jason didn’t know what he was thinking as he jumped forward and bent down to help her pick them up.

He saw her blush, but keep her head dipped from the embarrassment.

“Thank you,” she quickly laughed as she tried to pile the books back together as fast as possible.

Y/N opened her mouth to say more, but the words got caught in her mouth when she finally met Jason’s eyes.

He wondered how different he looked to her. Could she even recognize him? Or was he fooling himself when he became convinced he was an entirely different person after being brought back from the dead?

But his questions were answered when Y/N looked in shock, only unfreezing when her eyes began to tear up.

“It’s not possible,” she said so quietly that it was barely a whisper.

“Everyone good? I heard a loud noise.” The clear interrupted loudly.

Y/N jumped in response.

Jason stood and faced the clerk, “We’re fine.”

But when he turned back around, Y/N had booked it.

“Fuck,” Jason hissed before carefully handing the books to the clerk and quickly following after Y/N.

She made it further than he would expect. He actually had to look around the streets outside the store for a moment before he could spot her.

As soon as he did, he ran. But he called her name before he reached her to make sure he didn’t terrify her more.

Y/N froze when she heard him and whipped around. “Who are you?” She asked roughly.

There was a moment, when she first met Jason’s blue eyes, where she allowed herself to believe that perhaps a miracle had occurred.

But now she only saw this as some sort of heinous prank.

“It’s me, Y/N.” Jason almost sounded like he was begging her.

She then fully took him in. Yes, he had the same face. But now he was a full-grown man – and an extremely handsome one at that.

“I shouldn’t have spooked you like that. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve been dead for 8 years,” she muttered.

“I know. It’s a…” Jesus. Jason didn’t even know how to go about this. “It’s a long and complicated story.”

“Were you ever really dead?” Then Y/N’s eyes flashed with a realization. “Did you stage your death? To get away from him?”

Bruce. She meant to get away from Bruce.

Jason looked around. This was no place to have this conversation. He couldn’t believe they were having it at all.

“Fuck. OK.” He quickly shuffled through his pockets until he found an old paper receipt and a pen. He quickly wrote something down.

“I know this is…a lot.” He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture that reminded Y/N of the Jason she used to know. “If you want nothing to do with me, I understand. You’ll never have to see me again.”

He took in a deep breath and handed her the receipt.

Y/N slowly took it and looked down to see a phone number written down.

“You deserve time and space to…” he couldn’t find the right word, “process all of this.”

Y/N watched him as if she was expecting him to vanish like some sort of hallucination.

“After you do,” Jason continued. “If you’re willing to hear me out, I’ll be there,” he told her sincerely as he gestured to the number Y/N now held in her hand.

He waited for Y/N to say something, or maybe even try to make a run for her life.

But after what felt like forever, Y/N gave a short nod.

Jason gave her a shy grin as he slowly started walking backwards. He hesitated saying one last thing for her. But his mind finally told him, ‘Fuck it.’

“I’ve missed you, Y/N.”

————

Jason told himself not to get his hopes up. Y/N had every right to be horrified by him and wish to never see him again. From what Dick described, Y/N hadn’t handled Jason’s death well at all. What child could?

But when Jason got a text from Y/N’s number a week later, asking him to come to her place, he couldn’t help but beam.

Except reality then quickly settled in. And it reminded Jason that this conversation would involve talking about his past for the first time.

‘Suck it up. She deserves to know,’ he heard his past self screaming in his mind.

An hour later, Jason was knocking on Y/N’s apartment door.

“Hi,” she greeted stiffly.

“Hi.”

She led him to her bedroom. “My roommates aren’t home right now. But who knows how long that’ll last.”

Jason didn’t stop himself from looking around. Maybe it was a habit, all of his training of taking in every new environment with acute detail. But really Jason just wanted to take in Y/N and her new life.

That’s when he spotted the three books.

Jason immediately reached for one of them.

“Oh,” Y/N said sadly as she saw what he grabbed. “Umm…Dick told me I could take those. He…umm…said you’d want me to have them.”

“You kept them all this time?” He muttered, still looking at Pride & Prejudice.

“Of course.” Then a thought suddenly occurred to her. “You can have them back. I mean, they’re yours after all.”

Jason smirked at her fumbling. “No, keep ‘em.”

Then the tension from this strange reunion returned to the room.

Y/N gave him a heartbroken look and sat on the edge of her bed. “Jason,” she whispered, “what the hell happened to you?”

Jason slowly joined her on the bed.

His breathing shook as he tried to prepare.

But Y/N deserved to know the truth – the whole truth.

So he told her everything. He told her he was Robin. He told her how he died. He told her how he came back to life. He told her where he’d been.

The only thing he left out was how she was all he could think about when he watched the bomb tick down to 0 and he knew he was about to die.

But the hardest part was explaining why returning to her wasn’t the first thing he did.

“It wasn’t Bruce. It…you…you were Robin that whole time?” Y/N couldn’t even seem to process it.

Jason just gave a curt nod.

“I reported him,” Y/N gasped. “I was convinced he had something to do with your death.”

Jason winced at that. “Well, if you asked him, I’m sure he’d take responsibility for it still.”

Y/N’s eyes glazed over as she tried to take another look at the past now that she knew the real truth that had been hidden. So many things made sense: all the injuries, Bruce’s behavior, Dick being a distant brother – all of it.

“Y/N,” Jason whispered. Her eyes whipped to his. “I’m so sorry for leaving you like that.”

Y/N finally allowed herself to cry. “Missing you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

Jason didn’t care about keeping his distance any longer. He pulled Y/N into his arms, just like he used to when they were kids.

Eventually, her crying slowed and Jason knew he needed to finally say the hardest thing about this all.

“But I can’t stay, Y/N.”

Y/N wasn’t expecting that. “What?”

“I’m not…I’m not that kid anymore. I’ve done things – terrible things – that won’t ever let me return to the person you knew.”

“I don’t care,” Y/N said surprisingly harsh.

“What?”

“I said I don’t care,” even though she knew he heard her. “You think I’m the same person after 8 years, Jason? You think that little girl didn’t face the consequences of losing the best friend she’s ever had?”

Jason didn’t know what to say to that.

Y/N wiped away her tears and her entire body shifted. “From everything you’ve told me, you don’t seem to have many friends – if any. So, sounds like you could use one.”

How could Jason have overlooked Y/N’s stubbornness when he anticipated how this would all end?

“I lost you once. I’m not losing you again. Especially not with all I know now,” she added.

Jason didn’t even bother fighting her on it. Y/N had always been his greatest weakness. At least he knew that hadn’t changed.

“OK.” He agreed. “So what now?”

Y/N smiled at his surrender. “Now…we have a whole lot of catching up to do.”

--------------------

Wow. I did not realize how long this was going to take me.

Please, please, please let me know what you think. Reactions and feedback and reblogs are the only thing that keep me writing on here.

#batfam #batman family #jason todd #jason todd fic #jason todd x reader #jason todd reader insert #batfam reader insert #bruce wayne #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #batman universe #batman fandom #dc universe #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood reader insert

654 notes · View notes

hex-obsession · 3 years

Text

Silver Lining - Two

word count- 2,259

content warning- language, angst, indirect s**cidal thought

____________________________________________

Crows cawing, your eyes open just enough to hazily make out the all too familiar color of your room.

“Early bird gets the worm, you know,” a familiar voice murmurs. Pushing off the wall to your right, your body slides diagonally over your bed, your head dangling off the side. Upside down, Cheryl is slumped against your door frame, arms and legs crossed. Brazen as usual, just the way you loved her. You held your own in most regards but Cheryl was always there when you least expected it and needed her most. You swear there were a halo atop that adorable shaggy blonde head of hers. And not one of those tacky event items either.

“Like I’d get anything any time of day with all the birds around here.” A tickling squeeze builds in your abdomen, branching up your neck to your cheeks which now had a telling pink glow.

“So you gonna talk to old lover boy yet or what?”

You jolt forward and whip around fast enough to make any killer miss a swing. Your response is unnecessary as she’s already smirking devilishly, aware of what she’s doing. She might have been your closest friend but that did not stop her from tormenting you, or anyone else that crossed her path. All in good fun and love, of course. It went without saying that you enjoyed it and she knew when it was, rarely, time to pack it up.

Raising her eyebrows, she leans back and throws her hands up. “I’m just saying, if you don’t, you might lose your chance. That’s all I’m saying,” quieter now.

You sighed. She was right. You weren’t the only one who took a liking to Leon. But, unlike you, Yun-Jin did not hide her feelings, from anyone for any reason, ever. Of course, everyone thought he was charismatic and most, undeniably handsome. That was common knowledge. You ran out of things to talk about in a place like this, and secrets were few and far between. There was no reason to hide here. This was your foreseeable future, together. There was no getting out, no changing things. Being open and sharing everything together made your day to day bearable. The connections you lost in your old lives left gaping holes, but together as one tightly knit, weird, fucked up family, you helped fill the voids. Some took longer than others to accept that fate, and there were some inevitable hiccups, but everyone came around eventually.

Anyone who wasn’t blind could see the attraction Yun-Jin had for the newest addition to your group. Placing her hands on him in conversation whenever she got the chance, laughing a little too hard at the things he said, biting her bottom lip and smiling at him when he talked. You’d even caught her pecking his cheek playfully here and there. He’d always smile and look away, as if it were a game. Leon always had a sultry attitude to him, a ladies' man no doubt. Subtly flirting with everyone was just commonplace for him. That was part of the reason you held back. Fearing you missed your chance and someone else had filled the role you longed to be in. Maybe it was your fear of rejection or abandonment, or not wanting to lose something this important in a world as cruel and bare this. You were subconsciously working hard to convince him you were only a friend. Which you were, definitely friends. Close even, given the circumstances. Trauma bonding does one hell of a number to the timeline of friendship. Still, you sensed zero difference in his behavior toward you versus the others. Which, admittedly, was quite the letdown. Nonetheless, you had nothing to lose by casually admitting your feelings for him. Keep it light and airy and there would be no reason for things to change on the chance he didn’t feel the same. After all, you surely weren’t the only one with a harmless little crush. That’s all it was. Right? So what if you constantly day-dream about him holding you so close he might consume you, kissing you with four times the passion the Notebook tried to capture, never leaving your side regardless of what the future held. His taste, his smell… what his cock would feel like ramming into your cervix. Your brain was one giant knot, constantly distracting you and there wasn’t a single thing you could do about it. Except tell him, but keep it simple.

By your calculations, it was November 18th. You’d been keeping track, not sure if it made things better or worse. Your third anniversary in this place was not far off. Despite being a literal nightmare, it had its perks. Your need for food was no more, as well as your other bodily needs. Sickness was a quickly forgotten annoyance of the past. You stayed in this eerily perfect state. Makeup never crusty, hair never oily and always smelling of your favorite fruit. The dirt and blood you’d acquire during trials magically disappeared upon return. You had a handful of outfits to rotate but there was no real need. Another upside, there were no severe temperatures here. Jackets, shorts, sandals, snow boots if you were Nea. You were always mostly comfortable. Even on Ormond where snow blanketed the ground, those gusts of wind should have sent chills right through you, but they didn’t. It felt like living in a dream or a, simulation. Just, where you’re hunted all day and night for the rest of your existence. At least death wasn’t permanent. Sometimes you’d wish it was, just to escape.

Several months have passed since Leon and Jill were introduced to your world. You had inside jokes and more close calls than you could both count. You were a damn good team and got along smoother than melted butter. What were you waiting for? You inhaled sharply and broke your stare out the window.

“I’m gonna do it.”

To no avail, your deep breaths failed to remedy the painful pounding in your chest, or the heat radiating from your face. Nevertheless, you marched out to the campfire to seek out Yun-Jin. As selfish as you wanted to be with Leon, she was your friend, and you held that in high regard. She was easy to spot in a crowd given her loud attire, but wasn’t around the fire. Which lead to your next realization; neither was Leon. Your throat tightened, heart still pounding. You set off a little too quickly to find her, or them. First stop was Ace’s shack. Judging based on appearances, you figured he would be one of the last people she associated with. Quite the opposite, they were dear friends. Not connected at the hip per se, like her and Claudette, but they related to one another's childhoods. Trauma bonding, can't beat it. To your dismay, the shack was empty, a seed of despair planting in your stomach. Maintaining the most convincing composure you could, you continue your search. Heading left down the line of shacks, robust laughter grows closer. You’d know that laugh anywhere. Cutting through the row, David and Felix are reclined under a tree. They were one of the few monogamous couples among you. The others being Nancy and Steve, and Adam and Zarina. You understood the allure of being romantically involved with more than one person, especially given your less-than-ideal situation, but it wasn’t for you.

“Hi y/n!” Felix shouted toward you.

Not wanting to stop and chat given your current objective, you flashed a cheeky smile and waved to them. Before they could get another word out, you dipped back behind the row of houses. Nerves getting the best of you, you parted your lips to breathe through your mouth. Every breath burned your lungs, realizing now all the times you brushed off your feelings have come back to haunt you. You should never have waited this long. At this point you would be more than willing, desperate, to share Leon. Refusing to let your anxiety get the best of you, you ball your fists and dig your nails into your palms to get a grip on yourself. There was one more place they could possibly be. A sliver of premature acceptance wedged itself into your train of thought as you trudged toward your own shack. Leon’s was adjacent to yours. Feeling foolish for not checking earlier, you round the corner to the opening. As much as you wish you could close your eyes, they were pinned open with anticipation. Looking up from your feet you were shocked to see an empty room before you. Relief and confusion replace your foreboding. Too much time had already been wasted, so you return to the campfire.

“Hey, have you seen Leon or Yun-Jin anywhere?” you, as calmly as possible, ask Élodie.

“They got pulled a little bit ago babe.” She was intently focused on Jane, her concentration not broken. “Which do you like more, up or down?” her gaze still fixated on Jane.

You have to either keep the courage you finally mustered until they get back or give yourself emotional whiplash by releasing until they do. You hesitate for a moment, but to hide your disappointment you quickly retort, “Up, definitely up. Gotta distract the killer with that beautiful face you know?”

“Like they're looking at her face and not that dumptruck ass!” Élodie howls. Jane facetiously puts her fingertips to her chin and looks upward, a façade of innocence no one here would ever buy. You can't help but giggle despite your inner turmoil.

“Well hey,” you add through chuckles, “when they're back can you please send her my way?”

“Sure thing babe,” Élodie assures, finally turning to meet your gaze.

A horrible nauseating mix of dismal, relieving, lewd thoughts of Leon swirl in your mind as you wait for Yun-Jin to step into the doorway. You knew you liked him but holy shit, where did this come from? The realization slapped you in the face. Try to blame infatuation all you want, not that you did, but it was so painfully evident now you were dumbfounded.

A soft knock jerked you out of your thoughts. “Hiya y/n, what's going on?”

Her delicate eyes effortlessly comforted you from across the room.

“I...” your eyes now glued to the floor beneath your feet, a reservoir of tears barely being held back, “I need to know how you feel about Leon.” Your nerves went haywire just uttering his name to her. An icy splash of chills surged from your head to your feet as your chest panged with dread.

“Well of course I like him,” her brow furrowed ever so slightly.

All that could escape your mouth was, “Oh.” Emptiness, despair replacing the jealous unease you felt before. Tears streamed down your cheeks uncontrollably, feelings that danced around menacingly finally coming to a head.

At the sight of your distress, she rushed to sit next to you. “Honey, what’s going on?” her voice barely above a whisper.

You were ashamed for breaking down in front of her, afraid of guilting her for something that was not her fault, and now terrified Leon might follow her here, only to find you undone over him. You jerk your head up to face her and blurt out, “Jinny I think I love him,” face sopping wet with untouched tears.

She raises her eyebrows and smiles at you. “Honey I have fun toying with him all in good nature but there’s no connection there.” Your heart thuds against your ribcage. “Sure, I’ll admit he’s attractive, who wouldn’t, but I have nowhere near the same feelings for him that you evidently do.” She uses both hands to cup your face and pushes as much wetness as she can aside with her thumbs. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? Not only to me but to him!” Despite being similar in age, she feels like a mother to you. Caring for a child, your own or not, will do that to you. That’s not a trait you lose over time.

“I’m so afraid,” you softly whimper, “of what he would say, what you would say.” You're picking at your cuticles, a habit you acquired during puberty as an outlet for your overwhelming feelings.

She wraps her arms around you, carefully as to not tarnish her jacket with tears, which would definitely stain the material. “I was just having a little fun, and from what I’ve gathered, he was more so allowing it than participating. You know I love you all to death but I’m not looking for anything like that, definitely not here.” She gives you a squeeze, and suddenly you can breathe again, the air around you no longer dense and difficult to swallow. “Honey, go get him.”

“Oh Jesus, let me fix myself a little first at least,” the sudden relief causing you to laugh involuntarily.

You were grateful disease and ailments didn’t exist outside of the trials, if they had you're sure you would've had an aneurysm from the stress you went through in a matter of an hour. Yun-Jin left you to your thoughts, which were now solely you and Leon together, doing anything and everything you could think of. The rest of the day you contemplated telling him, more so, how to. Thankfully you didn’t have any trials together, you were far too disorganized for that right now. “Tomorrow,” you promise yourself. Nothing like a clear head and a night’s rest to help you be your most collected, confident self.

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Silver Lining masterlist

#leon x reader #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy fluff #dbd smut #dbd fanfic #dbd fluff

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slither-in-gryffindor · 3 years

Text

Mystery Lover

Square Fill: Free Square

Warning/s: None

Word Count: 1,790

Summary: Darcy Lewis posted videos that the world cooed over, Natasha Romanoff being in love.

A/N: This fic was made cause I couldn't get the song out of my head 😂 and I also had an excuse to write a socmed au. It started out as a karaoke prompt and it just went from there 💁🏻‍♀️

Ao3

The team didn’t really plan anything that night. Everyone was in the common room lounging while the world is peaceful. Tony and Bruce was puzzling over an equation in a hologram. Thor, Steve, and Sam were exchanging stories at the couch. Clint and Natasha were rapidly exchanging knives while sitting at opposite ends of the room. And Pepper and Maria were signing documents at the coffee table.

“I am now here and the party has started! Up up up people, we’re going out!” Darcy’s voice echoed cheerfully as she sashayed into the room.

The brunette moved towards Maria, “Tall, dark, and handsome Director Hill. I would like to propose an outing that we all clearly need. It’s a Friday and we’re boring!”

“That’s your argument?” Maria asks amused.

“Well, I already have a bar in mind. It’s good but kind of hidden too and I already talked to the owner so we’re going to be the only one there. I also agreed that they could have pictures with you guys, but only if they post it after we leave.”

Maria chuckles. “You really thought this through. Okay.”

“I know it’s - wait okay? I just made you agree with me this is the best day of my life.” Darcy clutched at her chest and faked swooning. Jane just shook her head fondly at her friend’s antics.

The three women fondly watched Darcy as she puttered around and started gathering the others. “We’re going karaoke! Avengers Assemble!”

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It hasn't even been an hour, but the video was already viral. Hours after the Avengers left the bar, Darcy posted a video of them singing karaoke. Naturally, anything related to the Avengers goes viral, but the difference is that this is the first time the Black Widow made her appearance. And what an entrance she did.

The people had always been curious about the mysterious Avenger. They know who she is, and sees her attend events like the others, but pictures and interactions are scarce. So when they saw a video of her singing, and a love song at that, it blew up. Gossip blogs already have their choice of romantic interest, and even news feeds deemed her performance as news worthy.

The video started with a panoramic shot of the bar, and a rowdy applause came from the boys when a redhead swaggered to the stage. Natasha Romanoff looked at someone behind the camera and roguishly winked.

Whoops were heard when the familiar fast-paced notes sounded in the air. Her grip on the mic was confident and she let her body playfully move.

She bobbed her head. Eyes closed and feeling playful.

Making my way downtown Walking fast paces pass And I’m homebound

The redhead’s mischievous gaze suddenly focused behind the camera.

Staring blankly ahead Just makin’ my way I’m makin’ a way through the crowd

And I need you. Natasha stretched her right arm forward.

And I miss you. She blew a kiss.

And now I wonder. The camera caught a hand darting forward and catching it. Just as Natasha smiled widely.

Darcy could be heard whispering an amazed, “oh my Thor they’re so cute!” and she swiveled the camera to take the others' reactions. Similar state of happiness and delight were seen as they cheer for their normally reserved friends.

An utterly soft smile was on Natasha’s face and everyone was just pushing and cheering because it’s the first time they saw that smile. Normally the couple would refrain from public displays of affection but they weren’t complaining. It was cute how the couple acts.

If I could fall into the sky Do you think time would pass me by Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles If I could just see you… tonight.

The last line ended and everyone was still reeling, but the thundering hoots and applause followed immediately. Natasha bowed and smirked before strutting off the stage. The video cut, but not before catching the redhead smiling warmly at someone that the camera unfortunately didn't catch.

‘Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles If I could just see you… tonight.

@darcygodtaser: If you’re as romantic as @n_romanoff, you can date me. But I think I’ll be waiting for a long time.

@muff_in: @n_romanoff oh my goddd what the fuck, I never thought someone's voice could make me melt into a puddle.

@bwcanrailme: can we talk about how @n_romanoff was totally singing for someone??? Can we have a hint who she's singing for @darcygodtaser

@redavengerlover: badass, avenger, and singer. Is there something @n_romanoff can't do?

@arrowbird: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff can't walk into corridors without bumping into walls when they smile at her.

@ironman3000: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff can't lift weights without dropping it on her foot because she saw them doing pull ups without a shirt.

@stevieamerica: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff can't walk properly on heels because she saw them in a tailored suit and tie.

@drgreen: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff can't stop smiling whenever she gets a good luck text from them

@thornir: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff THE LADY SPIDER SAW THEM IN ASGARDIAN ARMOR AND CANNOT SPEAK FOR 5 MINUTES

@itsbitsypuppy: I love how the avengers just exposed @n_romanoff that she's just like the rest of us mortals and gay panics too

@n_romanoff: Well I don't.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Another video was posted by Darcy and this one was even more viral than the previous one. And this time, everyone had absolutely gone wild. The speculations to whom the illustrious Black Widow was dating had finally been put to rest.

The revelation had sent everyone reeling. News feeds reported the event, and social media sites crashed due to the high amount of online traffic.

The video started with a beautiful view of a flower field. Purple, yellow, red, blue, you name it— there were 30 varieties of blooming tulips that filled the area. Behind the multitude of colors in the field is the extraordinarily green pine trees, and even farther is the snow-capped mountain — Mount Cheam.

An impressed whistle pierced the silent showcasing, and the camera flipped to show Darcy wearing a gray overcoat paired with a blue scarf.

“Beautiful right? But that’s not actually what we’re here for. We’re in Canada!”

“I don’t know where exactly but we were invited by our favorite blue-eyed commander because —” Darcy trailed off, lips pursing as she tried to remember.

Looking around, the brunette walked over to Steve, “Steve! Why are we here again? I can’t remember why.”

He scratched his head, “Pepper didn’t really give a reason. She just told us that Maria wanted us here.”

A voice off-camera caught their attention and Darcy looked straight at the lens, “Alright guys, that’s Pepper calling us.”

The team shuffled and stood at a distance, watching as Clint lead a blindfolded Natasha to the center of the field. He joined the rest and just sushed them when they saw Maria walking towards Natasha.

Excited murmurs came from the other Avengers.

“I think this is it.”

“You mean?”

“I think so.”

“Will we hear them?”

“Yeah, we set up a drone don’t worry about it. ”

A tall lean woman came into view and tapped Natasha on the shoulder, “Hey sweetheart, you can remove the blindfold now.”

Natasha looked around and the woman caught her hand to turn the redhead towards her, “Maria, our anniversary isn’t for a few months yet.”

Maria chuckled, and exhaled shakily, “I know. But that’s not why I’m doing this.”

She entwined the redhead’s hand in hers, “Nat. The first time we went here, we were just dating for a few months but I already knew we would last. Because when I look at you, I see a future with you by my side.”

Taking a deep breath, she put their entwined hands on her chest. Letting Natasha feel how fast her heart was beating. From the equally breathless look on the redhead's face, it looked like she already has an idea where this is going.

“Years have passed but it only cemented the fact that I want that future. So I’m standing here, in a field full of tulips because I’m deeply in love with you, Nat. And if you would let me, I’d like to love you for the rest of my life.”

“So…” Maria took out a jewelry box and got down on one knee, “Natasha Romanoff, will you marry me?”

Natasha was speechless. Staring wide-eyed at the kneeling woman.

Everybody held their breath, clutching each other in anticipation. Darcy was holding on to the phone so tight it shook.

An amazed, “Yes.”

“Yes?” Delight coated Maria’s voice.

Natasha let out a teary laugh, “Yes! Of course Masha!”

The video was no longer focused because Darcy jumped and hugged the others. Excited squeals and cheers erupted. Maria raised her hand to call them over. They ran towards the couple, hugging in celebration.

“This calls for a party!”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Accompanying the video is a group photo of the team with the newly engaged couple. Clint, Tony, Steve, Thor and Bruce was at Natasha’s right, beaming proudly like brothers. On Maria’s left is Pepper, Darcy, and Jane looking at the camera with broad smiles. As for Natasha and Maria, they were smiling so widely their eyes were sparkling.

@darcygodtaser: Congratulations to our beloved spider @n_romanoff and commander @off_hill ! They’re perfect for each other. They’ve got to be the most romantic people I know. Trust me, I’ve dated before.

@tap_me: OH MY GOD @n_romanoff is getting hitched!!! And to a woman! I think I’m in wonderland. Her fiancée @off_hill is so romantic, and fucking gorgeous even from afar.

@gaymer: The gays win!!!! Fuck the people who told us @n_romanoff was dating a man. @off_hill and @n_romanoff are lucky to have each other. Congratulations!

@spiderlover: Who’s taking which surname? Natasha Hill? Maria Romanoff? Romanoff-Hill? Hill-Romanoff. I HAVE TO KNOW @n_romanoff @off_hill

@n_romanoff: @off_hill I think Mrs. Maria Romanoff-Hill has a nice ring to it.

@off_hill: @n_romanoff As long as you marry me I don’t care what surname you pick.

Laying on their bed and content, Natasha nipped Maria’s jaw, “Damn it Hill, I thought you’d argue with me.”

Maria looked down with a raised brow, “Do you want me to argue with you?”

She shrugged, “Not really, but this is why I’m marrying you, you keep me on my toes.”

“Of course I keep you on your toes, how would you kiss me otherwise.” Maria giggled at her own joke.

Maria’s laughter stopped Natasha from retaliating. She gazed at the commander and couldn’t help but smile. She’s going to marry this amazing woman. She couldn’t wait.

#blackhillbingo21 #BHB21 #blackhill #natasha romanoff #maria hill #marvel women #marvel

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i-am-a-bad-influence-writes · 3 years

Text

Boys are raised to be men. Part 1 - Two broken people

Series Masterlist - Bucky Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Summary: Things are different outside the city. When Bucky moves out of the city to live closer to his father’s best friend, Steve, he meets a peculiar girl from a strange family. She’s loved by everyone in the village and like him, she’s missing a limb. And, to Bucky’s surprise, she’s determined to make him part of her life.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 2377

Author’s note: I am not disabled and I couldn’t ever imagine what it’s like. If you have anything to not about that aspect of the story, please send me a message so I can fix possible mistakes or misunderstandings in upcoming chapters. Also, let me know if you want to be tagged in future updates.

‘Good morning mister and misses Rogers.’ You smile and wave at your next-door neighbors who are enjoying the warm spring sun on their porch. In your hand is a plate of cookies. You have always liked baking and often bring a plate to your neighbors on Sunday so they have something to enjoy with their tea after attending church. You would join them at church but you are simply not religious and you can’t stand the pastor in this town. He’s a dick and after his son spent the night in your bed once, you can’t look him in the eye.

‘Morning Y/n,’ Steve replies with a smile. His wife, Peggy, gets up from her seat and shuffles inside to get another cup. She does this every Sunday. Well, she’s been doing this every Sunday ever since a few months. It seems her memory is declining quite rapidly but Steve doesn’t mind reminding her to do mundane tasks. He’s as happy as can be. From what he’s told you, their love story hasn’t been sunshine and butterflies at all. He was nearly killed in the war and just barely survived. When he came back, Peggy was engaged to another but they still found each other in the end. It’s beautiful. You could only hope to marry a man as kind as Steve, who will look at you like he still has a crush on you. Because damn, Steve looks at Peggy like he’s a schoolboy with a crush, like she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, like she’s the only woman in the world. It’s wonderful. You’ve seen that look on Tony’s face when he looked at your mother and you’ve been seeing it more and more from him when Pepper comes around. ‘How have you been Y/n,’ Steve asks, patting the chair next to him to gesture you to sit down on the straw chair. You put the plate on the table and take a seat. The chair barely budges under you even though the thing looks ancient. Good craftsmanship. ‘I’m doing well,’ you say with a smile, ‘I might not be a Christina but I do think the Lord has put an angel on my shoulder.’ ‘Well, you know we pray for you and Peter,’ Steve tells you with a gentle smile, ‘you deserve happiness after everything.’ Peggy steps back outside and shuffles her way over to you two. And of course, in true Peggy fashion, she’s heard everything. ‘I agree,’ she says as she puts the third teacup down on the table with shaky hands, ‘you two are wonderful children.’ Steve smiles at his wife and holds her hand to help her sit down comfortably, only turning back to you when he’s made sure she’s properly seated. ‘Say, how’s that man of yours? Ehm, Samuel, was it not?’ Steve nudges you like you’re two teenagers gossiping. You chuckle and shake your head. ‘Sam and I are still friends,’ you tell him, ‘nothing is ever going to happen between the two of us.’ ‘Maybe you should try living in the city if you’re not interested in the men here,’ Peggy suggests as she does every Sunday but you are perfectly content here. You’ve always liked the little life you’re living. You don’t need and don’t like the big fancy cars, busy streets, and small apartments. ‘I’d rather stay here,’ you shrug, ‘and there are enough people to choose from here.’ ‘Let’s go down the list of potential suitors for a second,’ Steve suggests but he’s not really interested in your opinion. He just wants to know who is with who and what the drama is. He just wants to know about the “youngsters.” Youngsters being people in their mid to late twenties. ‘First up, Thor Odison.’ ‘Lovely guy but he’s in love with Jane. You know, the farmer’s daughter.’ ‘Oh, those two are never going to work out,’ Peggy chimes in, ‘she’s way too much of an individual for him.’ ‘Agreed,’ Steve nods, ‘Loki Laufeyson?’ ‘No way,’ you laugh, ‘that man is a trickster. He’s a great friend but I could never date him.’ Peggy shrugs at Steve’s confused look. ‘Okay, that’s fair,’ Steve agrees with a sigh, ‘Natasha Romanoff?’ ‘She’s dating Bruce Banner. Besides, you do remember she’s my ex, right?’ ‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ Steve says with a sultry look and pats you on the shoulder for a second. ‘Don’t you work at her flower shop?’ Peggy looks quite confused as she asks you about it. ‘Yes, we’re still friends. We just came to the conclusion that we weren’t going anywhere. She’s great but just not for me,’ you explain. ‘How about the Maximoff twins? They seem like something you’d be interested in,’ Peggy asks. ‘They’re fine but Wanda is already dating Vision and Pietro, well, he’s cute but not quite my type,’ you explain but there’s a blush pulling up on your cheeks. Steve picks up on it right away. ‘Is that so? Didn’t I see Pietro sneak out of your house a few weeks ago?’ He grins, sipping on his tea. Gosh, for being elderly the two are awfully gossipy. ‘We’re not talking about those kinds of endeavors on the day of the Lord,’ you say to try and laugh it off while simultaneously admitting to Steve’s indication. Steve seems satisfied with this answer but Peggy seems lost in thoughts. ‘What about Bucky?’

‘Dad! Did you know we have a new neighbor,’ you yell into the house from the hallway while kicking off your shoes and hanging your jacket most hastily. You walk into the living room to see Tony sitting on the couch with a rugged-looking man. The man only has one arm, which has her surprised for a second but she isn’t one to stare as she is also missing part of a limb. Besides, there’s enough else to stare at. This man is a gift. His hair is a tad bit long and he has a bit of scruffy facial hair. And his lips. There’s something about his lips. The corners look upturned at any given moment. It makes him look friendly and approachable. You are certain he either is or used to be quite the ladies’ man. For a short second, you get lost in his icy blue eyes. Wow. Just wow. This man is beautiful. ‘I do know,’ Tony says a bit annoyed at your loud entrance, ‘Y/n, this is James Barnes. James, this is my daughter, Y/n Parker.’ James looks a bit confused at the introduction as his eyes flicker from you to Tony until you shake hands. He doesn’t ask about the difference between the names though. ‘So you’re Bucky?’ He nods at your question. ‘Would you prefer I call you Bucky or James?’ ‘Bucky. Thanks for asking.’ A faint smile appears on his face. ‘He’s already met Peter,’ Tony tells you to explain the confusion on his face earlier. ‘Ah,’ you chuckle, ‘I understand. We aren’t the most usual bunch.’ ‘James- I’m sorry, Bucky here is from the city.’ Tony completely brushes away the whole conversation and hops right into a new topic as you take a seat next to Bucky. ‘Why’d you decide to move somewhere so boring?’ Bucky seems hesitant in answering but something tells you it has a lot to do with his missing limb. You can tell by the way he’s slowly retreating into his jacket. ‘You don’t have to tell me,’ you assure him, ‘I don’t mind.’ ‘Thank you,’ he smiles gratefully and sits up a little straighter again like bricks have been lifted off his shoulders. You can’t help but wonder if your dad was interrogating him up until now. The poor man must’ve been stressed out of his mind. ‘So what do you do, Bucky?’ Tony asks it while he gets up from the couch, making his way over to the kitchen to get the grocery list you put on the fridge whenever you need something. After all, you made a deal yesterday. You cook, he gets groceries. ‘Not much these days,’ Bucky admits, ‘I used to be in the army.’ Ah, that answers a lot of questions. ‘Sow hat do you do to pass the time,’ you ask as you hear the front door close. Of course Tony wouldn’t tell you he was leaving. He’s just glad you took the unexpected guest off his hands. ‘I paint,’ he tells you, looking slightly more at ease now that Tony left, ‘I’m not great but it’s a nice way to pass the time and get some emotions out.’ ‘You’ll have to show me sometime,’ you say with a wink. It catches Bucky off guard. Did you just flirt with him? ‘Would you like some more tea?’ ‘Oh, no, I’m good,’ Bucky says and quickly gets up, ‘I only came by to introduce myself.’ You nod and get up to show him out. You notice he’s still wearing his shoes even though you never wear shoes inside the house. Tony probably felt bad about asking him to take them off so he didn’t. You watch him step outside but you just can’t let him walk away. He’s just too… Wow, he’s too beautiful for you to let him walk away. ‘If you don’t have anything to do tonight. Most of us hang out at the pub downtown every Sunday around seven pm.’ Bucky isn’t sure what to say and you feel obligated to keep talking. ‘It’s just a bunch of stupid people getting drunk but it’s fun’ And now you’re oversharing but Bucky doesn’t seem to mind. He shows a friendly smile but doesn’t look too sure of what to say. ‘You don’t have to but if you want to, I’ll leave here at seven,’ you tell him, ‘so I guess I’ll see you around?’ He smiles and nods to you. You close the door as he walks down to the house next door. Old man Steve’s house. ‘Ah, Bucky, how do you like the Parkers?’ Steve calls out to him before he can make it down their driveway. Bucky and Steve go back a long way. Bucky’s father was good friends with Steve and the man had always been like a backup dad to him. So when his father passed and he got overwhelmed in the city, the next best option was to go look for Steve. ‘They’re a strange bunch,’ Bucky admits, ‘but the girl, Y/n, she’s really sweet. She invited me to the pub.’ ‘You better go punk,’ Steve says in a tone that’s close to warning, ‘you won’t get a better offer to meet the youngsters in town.’ ‘Youngsters? From what you told me, they’re all nearing their thirties.’ ‘You know what I mean,’ Steve argues and waves it off. Bucky takes a seat with Steve on the porch, the chair creaking under his mass. ‘So what’s up with that family? I mean, I know of Stark industries but I never expected to find Tony Stark in a small town like this.’ ‘It’s not my place to tell you.’ Steve looks pained as he says it and it surprises Bucky. Sure, three people living in a house that don’t all share the same last name, there’s a story there. But Steve’s reaction makes him think it’s more than that. ‘Those three have been through a lot. They aren’t related by blood but they’re more of a family than most others down here.’ Bucky gazes over his shoulder at the house next door and watches as the door to the Parker residence opens and the two siblings come running out. The two are like spitfire as Y/n chases Peter for something that doesn’t seem to matter much to them judging by the smiles on their face. ‘I can see that.’ Then, suddenly, they hear Y/n yelp and she falls in the grass in front of their house. She lets a string of muffled curses fall from her mouth as her brother runs up to her. The two seem to be concerned about her leg. Steve tries to call Bucky back but he’s already running up to them. Peter sees him coming and tells him they’re fine but Bucky doesn’t want to go back to Steve. Instead, he kneels down next to Y/n. ‘Hey, are you okay?’ She doesn’t look at him. His eyes fall to the strange picture in front of him. It looks like her leg has been snapped in half at the knee but last time Bucky checked, ankles aren’t made from metal. ‘Yeah, fine,’ she grumbles as she pulls her flared jeans up to her mid-thigh to reveal the prosthetic that came off, ‘it just got stuck and I tripped.’ She grabs the metal leg and pushes it back into place like it’s nothing. Something stirs inside Bucky. “She’s like me,” he thinks, “she’s broken too.” But he doesn’t speak. He understands now why Steve tried to call him back and why Peter tried to tell him it was fine. He wouldn’t want help either. Because when you’re broken, people feel the need to treat you like a child, like you can’t do anything on your own, like you’re not a grown adult with a brain. You lost a limb, not your brain. ‘I’m sorry, I was worried you hurt yourself,’ he says softly and offers his hand to help her up but she politely declines and gets up herself. ‘It’s fine,’ she huffs and pushes her smile back on her face, ‘did you make up your mind about tonight?’ He smiles back at her. ‘Yeah, I’d love to join you. Steve wouldn’t let me hear the end of it if I declined.’ ‘You know him well, right?’ ‘Yeah, he used to be friends with my dad.’ ‘Explains the pictures on the fireplace,’ she teases, ‘and all the stories.’ ‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ Bucky groans, letting his arm drop to his side, ‘please tell me these friends of yours aren’t close to Steve.’ ‘Just Sam but I think you’ll like him,’ she tells him, ‘he’s the same kind of chaotic as you.’ She pats his shoulder and walks back to her house, Peter following her closely behind. ‘Great, just great,’ Bucky sighs.

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masterofmunson · 4 years

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all i ask of you (4)

Harry Styles x Fem!Reader Broadway AU

Summary: You’re forced to work with your famous ex boyfriend on Broadway.

Word Count: 6.1k+

Warnings: language, drinking, drama, cliff hanger!

Author’s Note: woohoo! i’m back baby! so sorry for the long delay of part four of the story. please tell me what you think! reblogs, comments, and asks are encouraged and appreciated <3

Jane nearly tramples you as the two of you make it out of the basketball arena with your college diplomas in hand. You laugh and hold on to her tightly as you walk through the arena to the front doors where you know your entire family is waiting.

“We did it! We graduated college!” Jane shouts.

“I know! Can you believe it?” you ask her. It had been a long and hard four years for the both of you. You constantly questioned if it was worth it. People always doubted you. They didn’t believe you could have a promising career with a Music and Theater degree. It didn’t matter if you had prospects on Broadway in the near future. No one but your closest family and friends believed in you.

You walk out the front doors and eagerly search for your family. Jane tugs on your arm, finding your families first. You hurry over to your mother and brothers, hugging them tightly in a group hug. Your oldest brother, Garrett, lifts you off the ground into a tight embrace. You laugh and cling to him before your family friend Glenne tackles you for a hug.

It surprises you that she’s here for your graduation. You knew she’d been invited, but you hadn’t expected her or her boyfriend to come. It makes you slightly upset that they took the time to come celebrate your accomplishments with you, but your boyfriend Harry couldn’t. You understood why, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. He wanted to be as private about your relationship as possible, even though he could’ve still come to support you as one of your closest friends. No one would ever know that the two of you were dating if Jeff and Glenne were around.

“What are you doing here?!” you laugh as Jeff kisses your cheek and hugs you tightly. “I told you that you didn’t have to come!”

“Nonsense!” Glenne shouts with a growing smile. “We wouldn’t miss this for the world, and we brought a surprise with us!”

Your eyebrows pinch together as you stare at her. What surprise? Your loud mouth baby brother surely would’ve spoiled it for you. “What do you mean?”

There’s a soft tap on your shoulder and Glenne smirks nodding her head at the person standing behind you. Jane gasps in surprise as she stands between her dad and sister.

You spin around and your eyes meet those of your handsome, rockstar boyfriend. You gasp and he grins, taking you in his arms. You cling to him and he secretly presses a kiss behind your ear.

“You said you couldn’t come,” you whisper in his ear as he holds you.

“I would never miss my girl’s biggest accomplishment, even if it means I’d have to hold off from kissing her until we're in private,” he answers back sweetly, making your insides all warm and fuzzy.

….

On opening night, you made the executive decision to let bygones be bygones. You wanted the show to succeed, regardless of how you felt towards Harry. Everything is water under the bridge. You’ve moved on. You’ve healed. You’re a different person now than you were four years ago. At least that’s what you’ve convinced yourself.

So as a sign of good faith and a step towards the right direction, you went to your favorite coffee shop and bought Harry a coffee and bagel for breakfast. You had a good feeling about tonight. You always do when it comes to opening night. It doesn’t matter how nervous you are.

Keying into the back entrance of the theater, you open the door and walk down the hall into yours and Harry’s shared dressing room. The door is already open and the lights are on which tells you that Harry’s inside. You take a deep breath before stepping into the threshold of the room.

What you don’t expect are the amount of visitors this early in the morning. The first person you recognize is Kendall. You know you shouldn’t be surprised that she’s here. They were together before you were with Harry and are still friends. It never sat right with you while you were dating, but you never told him that. You were too busy falling in love with him.

Then you recognize his sister and his mom. You’d only met them a handful of times, while you were still friends and when you were dating. They’re lovely women and you liked spending time with Gemma whenever she visited. There’s a few others sitting on the couch when you realize they’re a part of his band.

It’s silent when you stand at the door. They’re all staring at you and you feel like you can’t breathe. This wasn’t how you wanted to start your day, especially today of all days. Right now isn’t a good time to give his friends and family a tour of the place, especially when curtain call is 10 hours from now.

Harry moves to approach you from his spot next to his mother. You immediately exit the room and walk down the hall away from prying eyes and ears. Harry gently places a hand on your shoulder, causing you to spin around and face him. You recoil from his touch and shove the food and drink you bought him in his hands.

“Here,” you say. “Consider this my olive branch.”

Harry murmurs your name gently. “Listen, I had no idea this many people were coming to the show and wanted a tour of the place beforehand. I didn’t know Kendall was coming. I’d gotten the okay from Frank and it was Jeff’s idea—”

You interrupt him with a bitter laugh and shake your head at him. “Right, because nothing is ever your fault. Whatever, Harry. I don’t care. Invite whoever you want, I don’t give a shit. Stop acting like you feel the need to run things by me. I’m not your girlfriend. Just do what you want and leave me alone,” you snap at him. You walk into Aaron’s dressing room and shut the door loudly behind you.

Harry frowns, staring at the empty hallway before walking back to the dressing room with the bagel and coffee in his hands. He avoids the shocked looks directed at him as he enters the room, especially from Gemma and his mother. He tries to pretend not to notice.

“Jesus, Harry,” Gemma chastised him. “Why didn’t you tell us you were in a show with your ex girlfriend? Especially considering how things ended!”

Anne gently slaps her eldest in the arm. “Now’s not the time, Gem,” Anne answers for her son. “He needs to focus and we should all leave. It’s unfair to the rest of the cast to be a distraction, including Y/n. I’m sure seeing all of us just scared her.”

“That’s painfully obvious.”

Everyone leaves the room and exits the theater, leaving Harry alone. He sighs, sitting down in his chair. He runs a hand through his hair and groans in frustration. He’s so sick and tired of messing things up with you. Harry understands why you’re so cold and hostile towards him. He knows he deserves it.

Having his family, friends, and even Kendall in the dressing room scared you. He knows that but did it anyway. You don’t know what he told them when your relationship ended. Did he put the blame all on you? Did he make you the bad guy? The aforementioned crazy ex girlfriend never to speak of? Knowing how terrible of a boyfriend he was to you at the end of your relationship, he probably did.

Harry reaches for the cup of coffee you bought him. He takes a gentle sip and hums in approval. Even though it’s been several years, you still know that he takes his coffee black. You always teased him about it and called him grandpa as a result. He thought it was sweet.

He pulls the bagel out of the paper wrapping and takes a bite. You remembered his favorite bagel too, even after all these years. Even after all the things he did. There’s just some things you don’t forget, no matter how small.

In Aaron’s dressing room, you finally reveal the true nature of your relationship with Harry to him. Jane couldn’t contain her smirk or laughter as you rant about your famous ex boyfriend.

“Wait, what?!” Aaron shouts, shaking his head at you in disbelief. “Your ex boyfriend, the ex boyfriend that made you choose between him or Broadway is Harry? Harry Styles thought he could make you choose him over your career?”

“Yes, Aaron,” you say for the umpteenth time. “I know it’s a shock that the Harry Styles is and was an asshole considering what his brand is.”

Your co-star frowns in response. He stops pacing the room and takes a seat beside you on the couch. He takes your hand and gives it a firm squeeze.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

You nod your head in response before sipping at your coffee. “It’s okay. It’s history now. I’m over it, and despite what happened, I forgave him. I know in my heart that he’s a different person now than he was when we were together but he just made me realize that I shouldn’t be with someone who isn’t willing to put in the work or compromise to be happy. Maybe that’s why I’ve been single ever since,” you laugh, leaning into him.

There’s a soft knock at the door, causing you to sit up. Aaron shouts that the door is open and Harry pokes his head in. He laughs nervously and scratches the back of his neck. Both Aaron and Jane glare at him.

“What do you want, Harry?” Jane snaps at him, standing up from her spot on the couch. She puts herself between you and the door, blocking you from his view.

“I just need to talk to Y/n. I have something for her,” Harry answers, peering over Jane to look at you.

You sigh and stand up from your spot on the couch. You pull Jane away from the door and walk out of Aaron’s room without a word spoken to Harry. You return to your shared dressing room without anyone else inside. Harry trails behind, shutting the door. Taking a seat at your makeup table, you watch Harry carefully pick up a bouquet of beautiful lilies in a glass vase. He sets them on your table and you smell the flowers immediately.

“I know I keep messing things up between us. I say something stupid and I do things without thinking. I’ve been incredibly selfish and despite the fact you want nothing to do with me, you’re still helping me because you want the show to be a success regardless. I’m really sorry and I also wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done,” Harry apologizes with a gentle, sincere smile.

You swallow hard. You hadn’t expected him to apologize. Knowing he planned to apologize with a bouquet of flowers that symbolize forgiveness twists something inside of you. You don’t know what it is exactly, but it feels good. It’s a step in the right direction.

You laugh softly. Despite not seeing each other since the break up, you and Harry still seem to be in tune with one another. Of course he would get you flowers, a personal favorite of yours, on the day you bring him breakfast. Some things are harder to break than others.

“What?”

“It’s just funny to me that even after all these years, we’re still in sync. You brought flowers for me on the same day I brought coffee for you. I guess some habits are harder to break than others,” you answer softly.

Harry laughs too and the room falls silent. “Thank you, though, for the apology. I understand that you’re just excited. I was too. All I wanted to do was introduce my family to the cast and show the sets when they flew out to watch me in Cats for the first time,” you tell him, rubbing your hands on the top of your thighs. You bite the inside of your cheek and Harry winces the moment the words leave your mouth. You shouldn’t have brought it up.

When you started your career on Broadway in Cats, it had only been two and a half months since the messy breakup with Harry. You had blocked his number, but you were too afraid to do anything else normal couples would when they broke up. You didn’t want his fans to figure out or piece together scenarios if you unfollowed him on social media or deleted the photos you had together off your profiles. As far as they knew, you were only mutual friends because of Glenne, Harry’s manager’s girlfriend. Jane took you out drinking for a week straight after the break up to try and cheer you up.

“Sorry,” you mumble, “I didn’t mean to mention it like that, only that I was just excited as you are now.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says quietly.

You cough and quickly change the subject. “You should definitely invite your family and friends to the after show after party. I’m not sure if anyone’s told you yet but we always have a massive party after the premier of a show. It’s always at The Plaza and it’s all for the publicity for the hotel and luxury sponsorships so the cast spends the night free of charge. It’s a lot of fun.”

“Aaron told me about it yesterday,” Harry confirms, nodding his head. “I already gave them invites.”

“Sweet.”

There’s a sharp knock on the door before it’s pushed open. One of the photographers, Trevor, steps inside. You smile warmly at him and hug him quickly.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt. Frank wants cast photos before everyone starts to get busy with vocal warm ups, hair, make up, and costume changes,” Trevor tells the two of you. He shakes Harry’s hand and introduces himself.

You nod your head and Trevor holds his camera up to his face. You pose, grinning at him as he takes a photo of you. He takes a quick glance at it.

“Absolutely stunning,” he says before leaving the room.

You leave the room first and Harry follows close behind. You make a quick stop to Aaron’s dressing room and link your arm with Jane’s as you walk to the stage. Walking through the curtain, you and Jane move to the front of the stage and take a seat on the floor.

The rest of the cast walks on stage as a group of photographers move to the front. Everyone squeezes together for a variety of photos. Harry and Aaron join you and Jane on the floor in the front. Frank points to the small space left between you and Harry.

“Get closer,” Frank directs the two of you. Harry glances over at you before inching closer. He carefully places his arm around your torso. It makes your heart stop.

The photographers take a number of photos before Frank dismisses the cast except for you, Harry, and Aaron. Harry’s careful to touch you as they take photos of the two of you. Trevor looks out from his camera lens.

“Aaron and Harry, kiss Y/n on the cheek!” he says.

“I dunno—”

“It’s fine, Harry,” you interrupt with a gentle smile.

Harry’s mouth touches your skin and you hold your breath as Trevor captures the photo with Aaron and Harry pressing their mouths to your face. They pull away and you scratch the back of your neck bashfully before returning to your room.

Kelly, your assigned hair and makeup artist, enters your dressing room a few minutes later. You hug her tightly and the gorgeous redhead laughs. She sets her kit on the table. Mandi, the costume coordinator enters the room and makes a beeline towards the hanger rack with the dresses.

Kelly helps you secure your hair in a wig cap before gently placing the wig of Christine’s gorgeous, long, curls on your head. She moves it in place and teases up the loose strands. She pins it to the cap and it looks as if the hair is your own. It’s your favorite part of becoming Christine.

Harry arrives a few minutes after Kelly starts working on your stage makeup. Zoe and Bridget work with him on hair, make up, and his costume at his table. Music plays softly in the background as the two of you get ready side by side. You sing along softly and ignore Harry’s gentle gaze.

He’s always been terrible at trying to hide the way he looks at you, even now.

Mandi helps you change into the first costume Christine wears for the first few scenes. Despite the fact that you’ve grown so used to the costumes, changing into them, especially with Harry close by makes you feel weird.

You continue your vocal warm ups and drink water as Kelly works on your makeup. You’re careful to relax your eyes and face as she works on your foundation and eyeshadow.

The dressing room door is pushed open and Trevor reappears with your manager trailing behind. He takes behind the scenes photos of you and Harry getting ready for curtain call.

“I have your dress for the after party,” Gretchen, your manager tells you, side eyeing Harry from her spot on the couch. “I’ll bring it inside when the show’s over.”

“Sweet, thanks, Gretchen,” you tell her.

“There’ll also be journalists and reporters at the after party red carpet, so you’re more than welcome to speak to them. Talk about the show, how you felt it went, whatever.”

You hum in response as Kelly lightly applies lip gloss to your mouth. You keep your eyes closed when you hear Jeff come inside and greet Harry. They talk quietly and Jeff tells him what kind of questions to expect at the red carpet. You’re guessing it has to do with you, knowing that the gossip columnists will more than likely ask about what it’s like working with Harry since they only knew that you’ve met in the past. They don’t have a clue that you and Harry used to date. They care more about linking Harry to any woman he knows rather than his music or other accomplishments.

“You look absolutely gorgeous,” Kelly compliments you.

You grin and wink at her. “It’s ‘cos I have you to make me look all pretty,” you say. It makes her laugh.

“When you and Harry are done getting ready, I wanted to take photos of the two of you in costume if that’s okay,” Trevor says, snapping photos of you and Harry at your respective makeup tables.

You nod your head and Harry does the same. You hop off the makeup chair and take a sip of water before leaving the dressing room to the stage. Trevor follows behind before you pose for photos in character until Harry’s done getting into costume. You start some vocal warm ups in the meantime as you wait for him to join you on the stage. Jane appears in costume and starts her vocal warm up with you. Trevor takes photos of the two of you together as you sing and dance with your best friend.

Harry appears on stage with Jeff and Gretchen behind him. You glance over at him and you swallow hard. You try not to think of how handsome he looks in costume. His hair is parted down the middle and the costume fits him perfectly. Your eyes meet his briefly as he approaches you. He leans forward and presses an unexpected kiss to your temple. You cough uncomfortably when you hear Trevor’s camera click, capturing the image.

“How cute,” he says, smiling at the two of you. You fake a smile and bite the inside of your cheek. “Harry, can you hold Y/n like you’re dancing with her and dip her close to the floor? I want to catch the intimate relationship Christine and Raoul have with each other.”

He nods and you turn to face each other. You carefully wrap your arms around his neck and his hands settle on your waist. You slowly dance with each other and your heart starts to race. Harry’s hands slide to your upper back as he dips you down towards the floor. You cling to him as you feel yourself start to fall. He laughs softly as your noses touch and a loose curl of his touches your face. It makes your heart stop. You hear the camera click before Harry gently pulls you up. You take a step away from him to put space between the two of you.

“Fantastic, thanks,” Trevor says, quickly looking at the photos he captured before running off the stage, leaving you, Jane, and Harry on stage.

“I’m going to go decompress before curtain call,” you say to no one in particular before hurrying off to one of the practice rooms. You shut the door behind you and let out a loud breath of air you were holding in.

You settle on the piano bench and rest your fingers gently on the keys. You press the keys softly as the music fills the room. You sing quietly and don’t hear the door open until you see Jeff out of the corner of your eye approaching you at the piano. You turn to face him.

“Hey, I just wanted to wish you good luck before curtain call. Harry said you’d be in here,” he says.

Your hands drop from the piano and into your lap. You move to the end of the bench to make room for him. He sits down next to you.

“Thanks. Now why are you really here?” you ask with a soft laugh.

Jeff laughs too and shakes his head. “Nothing gets past you, huh?”

“You’re Harry’s manager, Jeff. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you’d come and talk to me without Harry if there’s something that concerns you about your client and their image.”

“I just want to warn you about possible gossip columnists. They’ll try to link you to Harry regardless of what either of you say. They’ll ask incredibly intrusive questions and—”

“Jeff, I know,” you interrupt him. “Only a select few know that Harry and I dated and they know better than to say anything to anyone. I know how to handle it. I’m not a crazy ex girlfriend.”

“I know.”

You stand up from the piano bench and rub out the wrinkles of your dress. “Then don’t worry about it. Harry’s image is still safe. Can you imagine the uproar if his fans found out how terrible of a boyfriend he was to me? They’d somehow make it my fault.”

You leave the practice room and return to your dressing room. You finally have the chance to relax without Harry looking over your shoulder and staring at you.

“They’re starting to let the audience in,” Jane comes to tell you with less than two hours to spare until the show starts.

You thank her quietly and lightly touch up on your makeup before walking around back to try and find Harry. You find him with the makeup artists that are putting on the beard for the opening scene. You laugh softly from behind and he turns to look at you.

“At least it makes you older,” you tease.

“Sexy, right?” Harry asks.

You nod your head. “Oh, yeah, definitely,” you pause and scratch at your hand. “I just wanted to wish you good luck.”

Harry stares at you, surprised that you’d go out of your way to wish him good luck on his first opening night in his first Broadway show. He smiles at you.

“Thank you, darling.”

You ignore the twist inside your stomach.

….

Adrenaline is racing through you as you hear the orchestra start. From behind stage, you watch the dancers and ensemble cast move on stage. You trail behind Jane and the rest of the dancers as you dance on stage.

Your muscle memory kicks in and you become Christine. You move across the stage as Christine. You sing as Christine.

As the show progresses and as you change in and out of costumes, you get closer and closer to All I Ask of You.

Off stage, you quickly change into another one of Christine’s gorgeous dresses. You run on stage and Harry’s not too far behind. You grab at his shoulders as the music starts and the two of you begin singing.

The two of you move together perfectly on stage and his touch lingers. It makes your heart race as you approach the lyric right before you’re supposed to kiss him.

“Say you love me,” you sing to him as Harry reaches to hold your face. Harry smiles gently and brushes a stray curl out of your face.

“You know I do,” Harry sings back to you. Your hands squeeze each other’s tightly and you take a careful breath inward as Harry leans in to kiss you.

The music roars in your ears as his mouth meets yours. You cling to him as Harry spins you around the stage with your mouths still together in a loving, passionate kiss between Christine and Raoul.

The audience cheers when the song finishes and you kiss Harry two more times before the curtains close for intermission. You quickly run off stage with the rest of the ensemble cast and change into a new dress before running to the bathroom. Kelly is hot on your heels and helps you with the overflowing fabric before you hurry back to your dressing room for her to touch up on the wig and your makeup.

Harry returns to the dressing room and Zoe and Bridget touch up his hair and stage makeup, quickly fastening the microphone in the right place. He takes a few gentle sips of water and watches you sit back against your chair as Kelly fixes the fallen curls on the wig before placing the crown on top of your head.

The five minute warning bell rings and both you and Harry hurry back to the stage. You shake out your nerves. There’s only 45 minutes left of the show. It’s okay. You can do this.

Harry reaches for your hand and you nearly pull away when you realize you have to hold his hand as you go on stage. He squeezes your hand tightly before leading you on stage.

Music rings throughout the theater. Harry holds you securely as you dance and go through the scene.

Time flies and before you know it, you kissed Harry for the last time on stage for the night before curtain call. The last song fades out and the audience begins to clap and cheer for the cast and crew.

Harry’s hand leaves yours as he goes for his curtain call. The audience screams and claps in admiration for him, of course. He’s Harry Styles for crying out loud!

Then it’s your turn to run out and bow in front of the audience. You take great pride in knowing that the audience was significantly louder for you than for Harry, and he’s the superstar.

Once the curtains close, you reach for Harry. You squeeze his hand and give him a hug. “You did amazing, Harry,” you compliment. “Congrats on finishing your first Broadway show.”

He grins at you. “Thank you. That means the world to me coming from you.”

You smile again and the two of you walk together towards your shared dressing room. Kelly and Mandi are talking with the women in charge of Harry’s makeup, hair, and costume when the two of you arrive. Kelly and Mandi both give you congratulatory hugs before you settle down in your chair.

Kelly quickly and carefully takes the wig off your head and sets it down. She works with the wig cap and unclasps the pins to your hair. She takes it off and you sigh in relief, leaning back in the chair as she combs through your hair.

You take off your stage makeup in record time. You feel like your pores can actually breathe now.

“Here’s your dress!” Gretchen exclaims, entering the room. You gently take it from her and gasp. It’s a gorgeous black dress with beautiful lace and embroidered flowers of a variety of colors.

Kelly helps you change into the dress and fixes your hair. Jane comes into the room wearing a yellow dress. She grins and steps to the side. You scream excitedly when your brothers step into the room.

You tackle the two of them into a hug. They laugh and Gretchen chastises you. “Don’t ruin the dress!”

“What’re you doing here? Mom said you were busy, especially with Molly!” you tell them as you stare at your brothers.

“And miss your premier? No way,” Garrett laughs as your sister in law comes into view with your three year old niece in her arms.

“Auntie!” Molly shouts, reaching for you. You immediately take her in your arms and shower her with tickles and kisses. “You look like and sing like a princess!”

“Thank you, baby,” you tell her. “I missed you so much. I’m so happy you’re here with your mommy and daddy.”

“Me too!”

Jeff walks in with Glenne and Harry’s suit in his arms. You scratch at your arm and Garrett glares at Jeff and Harry. Your little brother Nolan does the same and they cross their arms over their chest. You didn’t anticipate having to put yourself between your brothers and Harry.

“Garrett, Nolan, you remember Harry,” you introduce them to each other once more.

“How could we forget,” Nolan responds bitterly. You glare at him as Molly clings to your neck. “Nice job, though.”

Harry smiles uncomfortably and you hand Molly back over to your brother. You quickly say your goodbyes to your family before they leave the theater for the hotel. You gather your things together as Harry changes into a pink suit.

“Gretchen and I think that the two of you should arrive at the after party red carpet together,” Jeff tells you and Harry. “Y’know, since you’re playing love interests. It would create good publicity.”

Your eyebrows crease together in confusion as you stare at Jeff. “I thought you didn’t want the columnists to speculate? If they found out that we have history, they’ll have a field day. They’ll do anything to try and link us together as a couple.”

“That’s not the reason why I think you should go together. Just show them that you get along with each other off stage. Some are starting to speculate a strained off stage relationship between the two of you,” Jeff replies.

You scoff and roll your eyes at him. Of course they are. Jeff doesn’t want to make it seem like Harry is hard to work with or a diva. It’s all about protecting his image. “Fine.”

The two of you leave the dressing room together and walk out the back door where the limousine driver was waiting. Screams immediately reach your ears the moment you and Harry step out of the theater together. Cameras flash at the two of you and you’re immediately sent into a daze. You stumble back into Harry and he carefully guides you to the vehicle. His hand finds yours as he blocks the cameras from your view.

He opens the door for you and you climb inside. He quickly shuts the door and you carefully pull your hand out of his grasp and set it on your lap. The driver pulls out of the alley and takes you and Harry to The Plaza Hotel for the after party.

“Is it always like that when you leave places?” you ask after a few minutes of silence on the road. “Fans screaming at you and people taking photos of whoever you’re with?”

“Yeah, I suppose. I’m used to it though. ‘M sorry you had to go through that. It can be overwhelming if you’re not used to it,” he answers.

You hum and fall into another awkward silence. You arrive at the hotel ten minutes later and the driver opens the door. Harry gets out first and screaming fills your ears again. He reaches into the car and holds out his hand for you. You hesitantly take his hand and he squeezes it reassuringly.

He helps you out of the car and shuts the door behind you. His hand wraps around your torso and you momentarily forget that he’s your ex boyfriend. The feeling of his hand settling on your waist feels strangely comfortable, almost as if you’ve missed the feeling. You swallow hard and one of the event workers guides the two of you to the start of the red carpet. You walk on together and pose for the photographers until you’re pulled away for individual shots and interviews.

“You were absolutely fabulous tonight, Y/n!” a reporter compliments you. “How does it feel to work with someone like Harry? Is it any different than when you shared the stage with John?”

“Thank you!” you grin at her. “It was definitely intimidating at first, considering his level of fame and stardom, but he just wants to be treated like everyone else. I have to help him here and there since he’s new to Broadway, but he’s a fast learner.”

It goes like that for a while. Reporters compliment you and then immediately ask you what it’s like to work beside Harry. Now your own accomplishments are being overshadowed by his stardom. It bitterly reminds you of the break up.

When you make it inside the hotel and into the ballroom, you make a beeline for the bar and order a Jack and Coke. You find your seat beside Jane and you cheers before taking a generous sip of your drink. Harry doesn’t join you until dinner starts.

Everyone at the table makes small talk as you eat when Kendall takes the empty seat next to Harry. Great. Just what you needed. Kendall says her hello’s before she turns her attention back on to Harry. You nudge Jane under the table when you realize that she’s glaring at her.

You stand up and head to the bar to get more drinks. You just wanted the after party to go by as fast as possible. You don’t want to be near Harry, and you certainly don’t want to be near Kendall. You return to the table and Harry leans towards you.

“What?” you ask him.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Harry. Just leave it alone,” you mumble.

He looks like he wants to argue, but lets it go. He knows better than to start a fight with you when Jane won’t hesitate to cause a scene.

Music starts and Jane grabs your hand, pulling you to the dance floor. You drink, laugh, and dance together. You don’t notice Harry watching you.

After some time, you and Jane are both drunk on the dance floor. You can’t seem to control your giggles as you sing and dance. You stumble towards your table when Harry catches you before you fall.

“You okay?” he asks, helping you to your feet. He pushes hair out of your face.

You smile drunkenly and nod. “Perfect, H,” you answer, swaying on your feet as Harry struggles to keep you up straight.

He laughs. “You’ve had too much to drink, darling. Let’s get you to your room.”

You pout, whining at him. “No! I’m having fun. Leave me alone!”

Harry gently guides you to your dinner table and grabs your bag. He helps you out of the ballroom and into the hotel elevator. Your head rests on his shoulder.

“Why are you helping me?” you ask him softly. Your warm breath hits his skin and it makes him shiver.

Harry shrugs. “I dunno…. I think there’s always going to be a part of me that always wants to look out for you. I think that’s why.”

You hum and the elevator doors slide open. You step out, holding Harry’s hand as you walk to your room. He fishes through your bag for the room key.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

The door clicks open and he tugs you inside. “I think there’ll always be a part of me that always wants to be with you, despite how things ended between us,” you confess drunkenly, sitting on the bed.

Harry stares at you with wide eyes and your eyes linger on his lips. Your hand reaches for his tie and you tug him towards you.

Without a second thought, you kiss him.

#pls tell me what you think!!! i crave validation lmaosjhsgjajt #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfic #harry imagine #harry imagines #harry fanfic #my writing #all i ask of you

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wychive · 4 years

Text

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph) sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:)

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me..

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you.

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people.

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them.

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog.

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine.

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were.

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar.

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio , @neo-shitty

reply to be in my gen taglist!

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aspenflower17 · 4 years

Text

Finding You (Part 11 of ??)

Hey everybody! I am back with another update! This one’s a bit shorter, but with the holidays coming, my brain’s been a bit fried lately 😅

I also have two other wip’s that have been trying to grab my attention, so keep an eye out for those! I do want to say that the angel event never happened in this story. My Simeon, Michael and Diavolo never did that. That being said, I want to write something for the angel event to try to... finish it and explore it a bit more.

For people who might be stubbling across this here is the link for Part One.

Tags for le people: @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed @magi-minminxiii @rensphilia @a-dream-at-night @chloelikesobeyme @getbehindme-satan @theuglypugling

Satan/F!Mc

Word Count: 1,390

Mc yawned, eyes zoning out as she stared at her scrambled phoenix eggs. She had stayed up way too late at the ball, and when she had finally been able to sleep, she had another dream about Satan, this one about helping him make dinner for all of his brothers. While it had been pleasant, she was still feeling a little melancholy from it.

Michael sighed, Luke rolling his eyes a bit before asking, “Michael, is everything okay?”

“Well, I’m trying to figure out how I offended Satan last night.”

Mc perked up a bit at the mention of his name as Luke continued, “What’d you say?”

“Well, someone pointed him out as the Satan, so I decided to go over and talk to him, and just wanted to confirm his identity, so I asked if he was Lucifer’s son.”

All sounds stopped at that point. Mc looked up to see everyone else in the room staring at Michael. Even Barbatos raised an eyebrow.

“And you’re still alive?”

Mc wasn’t sure who asked the question because no one had moved when she tried to figure out the source.

“Am I wrong about it?” Michael asked, genuinely confused.

“It’s… difficult to explain,” Diavolo said, looking a bit uncomfortable.

“Why?” Mc asked.

“Well, he was born from Lucifer’s wrath. Satan, from what the others have told me, feels like he owes his existence to Lucifer and Lucifer’s pride doesn’t allow him to say otherwise, which just irritates Satan even more. Whenever someone reminds Satan of that connection, he… Well, let’s just say that demon was in a coma for a month. So, we don’t bring it up here. I’m amazed we didn’t have a fight break out last night honestly.”

Michael’s eyes widened in understanding as Diavolo spoke, “Seems I was very fortunate last night,” then, after a moment, “Should I apologize to him?”

“I would probably suggest against it, unless you have a good opportunity to. It could come across as even more demeaning.”

“Seems I have a lot to learn about how to properly interact with demons,” Michael chuckled uncomfortably.

“Did you ever end up being about to speak with Lucifer?” Diavolo asked.

“No. He ended up evading me the whole night,” Michael sighed.

“Well, maybe I’ll have to invite the brothers over for dinner sometime,” Diavolo mused, then after thinking for a bit and pulling out his DDD, “Yes, I think I’ll do that. Though… Mc, would you be willing to play something for us? I know you’ve been working on that piano piece.”

“I will definitely for you all. It probably won’t be that piece since it’s not finished yet.”

“Whatever you can do should be fine. Sometimes I just need to give them a good incentive to come,” Diavolo smiled, typing away on his DDD.

A bit further into dinner, Diavolo’s DDD dinged, “I have a date set for dinner! We shall have it in three days!”

“Isn’t that a little soon?” Michael asked.

“Of course not! All that needs to be done on my side is make sure there’s enough food for everyone plus Beelzebub.”

“Ah, he still eats a lot does he?” Michael asked.

“Well, as the Avatar of Gluttony, I’d say he eats more than “a lot”,” Diavolo laughed.

“... How much does he eat now?” Michael asked, looking concerned.

“Well, let’s just say Lucifer and I have had serious discussions before about if the Devildom can sustain his level of hunger.”

“He always had an appetite in the Celestial Realm, but…” Michael sat back looking concerned.

“Don’t worry. Lucifer and I have a couple different plans on how to keep him and the rest of the Devildom fed,” Diavolo smiled.

“What about the others? How have they changed?”

“Well, you’re just going to have to find out in three days.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc stared at the envelope on her desk. She was going to save the letter for later, not quite ready to read the contents yet. Her thoughts drifted back to part of her conversation with Mammon.

“I got ta go ta ya art show with Satan. I was really impressed with ya art. Satan was explainin’ a lot of it ta me since it was my first show.”

“He was?” Mc asked, the disappointment from their first meeting still fresh.

“Yeah. I know he’s really impressed by ya art, and all.”

“Ah. Good to know,” Mc said, tone noncommittal.

“Yeah. He’s actually a pretty good guy. Well, for a demon anyway. He just struggles a bit expression’ himself sometimes.”

“He does?”

“Yeah. I know he’s been havin’ a rough time lately with… everythin’ goin’ on.”

“Is that right?” Mc could feel some of the worry she’d been holding to dissipate with his words.

“MmmHmm,” Mammon smiled at her, but he blanched seeing something happening behind her, “Uhh, I’ll be back, ‘k? I gotta take care of somethin,” and with that he disappeared into the crowd for a bit.

Mc picked up the letter, and opened it:

Dear Jane,

I am so glad you decided to read my letter. I would like to apologize for my behavior the other day. Though there’s really no excuse for my rude behavior, I’ve been dealing with some personal issues lately, and I ended up making those your problem.

I wanted to tell you that I do remember you from before. I remember you called the fleeing demons a stampede. I remember you had a large leaf stuck in your hair. You also mentioned feeling very lonely sometimes. I don’t remember what I put in that letter, I wanted to let you know your thirst for knowledge really impressed me, and reminded me of myself. If I was able to help you on your quest for knowledge I will consider it a job well done. If it is not too much of an imposition on your time, I would love another chance to talk at length with you about art, literature, or anything really. Maybe over coffee sometime?

I will be looking forward to your answer,

Satan

Mc sat back, feeling most of her tension leave her body. He didn’t hate her and actually wanted to talk with her again. She smiled, and reached for a piece of paper to pen her response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc poured over the Devildom encyclopedia she had found. It had started as a way to figure out what kind of flower she had seen outside in the castle garden, and had just turned into learning all about the Devildom in general.

“What are you doing Sis?”

“Hmmm… Oh, hey Luke. Did you know the climate here is much like a high altitude desert in the human realm? Super cold in the winter, but really hot in the summer?”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Also, most of the plants here grow from moonlight. Many of the weeds in the Devildom are those that metabolize the moonlight the fastest and most of are actually edible.”

“You found an encyclopedia, didn’t you?” Luke asked.

“Yup. There’s also a lot of reference books here, so everytime I find something I want to know more about, I just write it in my notebook.”

“How many pages so far?”

“Well, this notebook is new and it’s already halfway full…”

“How are you going to look up all of those?”

“I’ll figure it out. I’ve heard the InterWeb is useful, though I’m not great at using it yet. Oh, there’s also this little-”

“Okay, I think that’s enough research for one day,” Luke said, taking the encyclopedia.

“Hey!”

“You need to go outside or something.”

Mc huffed a bit, “I was outside already today. That’s what caused me to come back in. I had a question about a flower I saw.”

“Well, go eat something. You haven’t eaten since breakfast have you?”

Mc was about to argue when she realized she was actually very hungry, “That might be a good idea.”

“Come on silly. Let’s get you some food.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mc sighed, starting the song over. She hadn’t been able to get any further in her composition, not getting any inspiration. Despite telling Diavolo she wouldn’t be able to perform it, she had still tried to finish the piece. It really was lovely. She just wasn’t sure how to finish it.

She played up until the last note she had composed again, and sighed, lowering her hands from the keyboard.

“That was beautiful,” a deep voice called from behind her.

She turned around, “shocked, “Satan?!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, fun fact, I live in a high altitude desert, and if the climate here isn’t Hell, I don’t know what is 🙃

As always, likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

Chapter 12

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sulkybbarnes · 4 years

Text

This is a birthday present for one of my most favorite people and a wonderful, beautiful person! @letitialewiss I love you tons and I hope that this little fic brings you a smile today. Happy birthday, Kim 💖💕

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”

-Jane Austen, Emma

The problem with Eddie’s feelings is that they tend to get all encompassing, until they’re clinging to every inch of him, covering every piece of cloth he wears, trailing behind him on the floor.

He always feels things deeply, be it grief or love or joy. Feelings tend to grip Eddie’s heart and make a home there until he is ready -or willing- to express them. And it’s that latter part, really, that gives him the most trouble. While Eddie feels every emotion and holds it close, he can seldom find a way to describe how he feels, the words sticking in his throat and refusing to budge.

He’s become better with it over the years by virtue of becoming a father and an adult, he’s a far ways away from where he started years ago. No longer holding everything in until it tears him to shreds, but he needs practice still. Growing up the way he did, with expectations and responsibilities always looming over him, made it far easier to bottle things in or set them aside rather than voicing them.

Eddie taught himself to talk out his thoughts and emotions with Chris, making sure to set a good example for his son. He talks to Chris about grief and love and fear, in small portions and words carefully chosen to show his son that he is allowed to feel things and voice them too. He tells Chris that he loves him often, and he’s never had any trouble expressing that love and gratitude for his little boy, but that talent seems to extend only to Chris and things that have to do with his well being. Outside of matters connecting to his son’s happiness and safety, Eddie has a harder time voicing his feelings. Especially when they connected to Eddie’s happiness and well being.

Eddie struggles with waves of grief that crash over him without prior warning, and he still tells his abuela that he’s fine when she asks. He feels exhausted between work, house chores, and being a single parent, yet brushes off Hen’s concern with a smile. His heart is overtaken with longing when Buck does something endearing, but he shakes his head and laughs it off when Buck asks Something on my face?

He acknowledges these feelings, he just doesn’t necessarily know how to voice them yet. Be it to ask for help or to tell a certain someone that their smile makes Eddie’s days more bearable. This isn’t a new problem, but it’s one he’s only been working through over the past two years or so. Eddie is getting better at it, he is, but some things can’t wait for him to work through every learned behavior and every wall he put up to protect himself. And so, Eddie decides to take action where words fail him.

It’s a simple enough solution, really.

Eddie knows his heart and the way it beats differently whenever he’s around Buck, and if he can’t outright tell Buck how he feels then he can show him. He made the realization about his feelings quite some time ago and spent hours in his own head since; examining every moment from different angles and thinking through what it all means. He reaches a conclusion, after months of carefully not putting a name to what he feels, when it all comes crashing down around him soon after the train wreck and his run-in with Abby.

The protectiveness Eddie felt that day towards Buck was a fierce thing that couldn’t be ignored. Eddie wanted to grab Buck and shield him from hurt. He wanted to hold his face and ask what Buck needed Eddie to do. He wanted to tell Buck that he loved him, and that Eddie and Chris would never walk away from him. Every thought and emotion that came after that day resonated throughout Eddie’s body and lived in every part of him. He couldn’t tame the feelings or leave them unnamed.

Eddie loves Buck. He loves him fiercely and completely, the way you can only love someone you know like your own heart.

Eddie knows this beyond a doubt. He names the feeling and sits with it for a while, then embraces it and makes his decision. He loves Buck, and he thinks -hopes, really- that Buck might feel the same way. And so, all Eddie has to do now is show Buck, if he can’t outright tell him.

He has to put his heart out there to be weighed and measured, and to hopefully not be found wanting. So. Piece of cake.

-------

The problem with trying to woo Evan Buckley is that Evan Buckley seems to have absolutely no fucking clue when he’s being wooed. It isn’t because Buck is oblivious or unaware, but the fact that they’re as close as they are makes any attempt at typical romance futile. Eddie asks Buck out for dinner but it ends up being another Tuesday night with them having dinner and drinks like they do every other week. He allows himself to be tactile, brushing against Buck more as they walk, or putting a hand to his arm, but quickly realizes that these touches aren’t out of the ordinary. In fact, they’re so tactile that it’s habit now and Eddie only noticed just how tactile they are when he tried to up the ante. Next, Eddie tries to cook them dinner and it turns into a memorable night of him and Buck and Chris cooking together, and his son and best friend gently teasing Eddie about his cooking skills all evening. He even tries complimenting Buck’s shirt, an endeavor that earns him a knowing look from Hen and a smirk from Chim, only to have Buck smile bashfully and duck his head with mumbled thanks.

Eddie’s most recent attempt was to bring Buck flowers when he and Chris visited him for game night a couple of weeks ago. However Buck took the flowers from Chris with a beaming smile and a comment on how the Diazes always knew how to brighten up a place. Chris went into an excited spiel about gardening and growing flowers at school with his teacher which Buck listened to with rapt attention and a wide smile, and that had been the end of that.

None of the little casual steps to dating someone would work on Buck, and Eddie quickly realizes that the reason behind it is that he and Buck have been doing almost everything a couple would do for a long time now. They’re too intertwined for a dinner invitation or casual touches to spell out romance. Every attempt he makes at a gesture ends with Buck giving Eddie grateful smiles and warm looks, but remaining completely unaware of Eddie’s intentions. Making Buck happy and spending time with him is always a triumph, but Eddie’s heart aches with the need for more. To hold Buck’s hand, and kiss him, and whisper to him all the things Eddie would never tell anyone else.

“You’re being very quiet tonight,” Buck says, nudging Eddie gently until Eddie looks at him. They are at Eddie’s apartment as is the habit these day when they’re both off from work. Chris is stretched out on the couch between them, watching a movie with his head resting on Eddie’s lap and his legs stretched out towards Buck.

“Just thinking,” Eddie shrugs with a half smile, willing his voice to remain steady and casual.

“Really, is Mulan giving you a lot to think about just now?” Buck asks in a teasing tone which draws a laugh out of Eddie. He has lost count of how many times he and Buck have sat through the same Disney movies with Chris. Eddie tends to use the time to tune out and occasionally rest his eyes for a bit, while Buck makes comments and exchanges looks with Eddie when Chris laughs at them.

“It’s a very serious movie,” Eddie answers gravely and relishes Buck’s amused grin. Buck focuses back on the movie -always far more invested than he’d like to let on- and Eddie takes the opportunity to look at him. The ease with which Buck inhabits this space, the gentle upturn of his lips, and the laughing looks he shoots Eddie when Chris giggles at something.

The entire evening so far has been another domestic night that Eddie wouldn’t trade for the world.

Earlier, Eddie has watched with quiet amusement as Buck reacted dramatically to Chris’s comments about the movie before this one. Eddie had been so entertained by their combined theatrics that he had relented at the end of the first movie and allowed a second one for the night. Now Eddie looks between them and feels his heart bursting with warmth. His hand itches to reach for Buck’s hand and he fights the urge down for what feels like the hundredth time tonight.

Buck shoots him a questioning look as if sensing Eddie’s eyes on him. Buck’s lips twitch again into another smile that Eddie isn’t sure what to make of, but it gets Eddie smiling too. They go on that way for a while, slowly exchanging longer looks until neither of them is looking at the screen anymore.

“TV is that way,” Buck remarks lightly after a little while, tone still teasing and a little playful. Eddie loves him like this, with mirth in his eyes and a boyish smile. “You should be watching the movie.”

“The boss is asleep, so I’ll get away with it,” Eddie says, gesturing at a now-sleeping Chris.

Buck laughs softly and rests one hand on the headrest between them. He looks down and bites his lower lip -immediately drawing Eddie’s eyes there- then shoots another unreadable look at Eddie.

“You gonna tell me what you’re actually thinking about now?”

Eddie mulls this over for a few seconds then figures -sure, why the hell not.

“Let me take Chris inside and then we’ll see about that.” Eddie answers and appreciates that Buck accepts this with an easy hum.

They work around each other in perfect harmony; Eddie scooping Chris up in his arms to take him to his bedroom, while Buck pauses the movie and starts cleaning up. By the time Eddie comes back outside, Buck has moved to the kitchen and is putting leftovers away in the fridge.

“You don’t have to do that,” Eddie says as he always does and gets rewarded with an eyeroll from Buck. Eddie falls into place next to Buck, silently doing the dishes and mulling over what to say. This too is a familiar dance for them; easily working together be it at a rescue mission or at home to make dinner or clean up.

Eddie finishes up then turns around to watch Buck’s back as he puts things away. If usual dating steps won’t cut it for making his feelings known, then Eddie will have to voice how he feels. Outright tell Buck what he’s thinking. He could kiss Buck and that should say it all but a small barrier of doubt holds Eddie back. He needs to know that Buck wants this as much as Eddie does before taking that leap.

“I’ve been trying to date someone,” Eddie blurts out before he can overthink it, then realizes that he said someone instead of you and closes his eyes in quiet despair. Old habits.

“Oh,” Buck frowns and puts down the two beers he had just retrieved. He looks away long enough to get the bottle opener, but when he turns back it’s with a smile. Eddie thinks it looks forced. “That’s great. Is that what got you all quiet? And what do you mean trying?”

“I mean I keep doing dating stuff but it won’t stick. All the dating things I’m doing are being read as friendship.” Eddie elaborates a bit, curious to see if Buck will catch on.

“What kinda stuff?” Buck hands over Eddie’s bottle but keeps some space between them. Eddie is now positive that the smile and cheer are forced. His stomach does a little sweep at the implication.

“Giving compliments, going out for dinner, cooking together, spending the day together, long phone calls -you name it,” Eddie keeps his voice steady, fully sure that Buck will catch on by the end and feeling his heartbeat double its speed. Buck blinks at Eddie then takes a long swig of beer.

“Cooking together sounds really serious,” Buck volunteers with a measured tone, “but I guess it can be read as friendship depending on the situation. Although if you have done all these other things and she still doesn’t get it, you should just say something. Or buy her flowers.”

Eddie almost starts laughing at the memory of Buck thanking Chris for the flowers Eddie bought Buck a couple of weeks ago.

“Did the flowers thing too,” Eddie raises his eyebrows and can no longer bite down an amused smile.

“Damn, that didn’t work?” Buck sounds genuinely offended now on Eddie’s behalf which makes the whole thing funnier. “How could that not have worked?”

“Well, it apparently didn’t spill out what I wanted it to, but it brought on a smile so no loss there.” Eddie answers truthfully then feels his chest squeeze tight when Buck’s face falls. “You really have no idea what I’m talking about, huh?”

Buck gives a weak smile at that and shrugs.

“Guess I wasn’t as caught up on your life as I thought I was, Eddie.”

Eddie knows every expression Buck wears and has cataloged every look and smile Buck has shared in his presence, so he knows that everything about Buck at the moment screams of insecurity and false cheer. Eddie can’t stand the thought of making Buck feel that way.

“How did you like the flowers I brought you two weeks ago?” Eddie says conversationally.

“They were beautiful,” Buck’s eyebrows shoot up at the sudden change in conversation but his face breaks into a real smile. “lilies and roses. I tried to keep them alive as long as I could.”

“And the dinner I cooked for you a week before that, did you like that too?”

“Chris and I did most of the cooking,” Buck rolls his eyes but laughs; the conversation being one they’ve had several times already. “But if you want to call chopping stuff up cooking for someone, then be my-”

Buck trails off towards the end of his sentence. Realization finally -finally- dawning.

“Oh.” Buck says, and then, “Eddie?”

“I’ve been trying to date you,” Eddie states, the words springing into the air between them and anxiously waiting for Buck’s response. “I think we skipped the usual dating stage but I had to try for it. To properly date you.”

“You had to try,” Buck repeats, tone disbelieving but with an undercurrent of laughter “To date me. Because..?”

“Because I like you, Buck,” Eddie breathes out, the words expanding through his chest and almost mocking him with how much of an understatement they are. “I like you a lot. Enough to buy flowers and attempt cooking and agonize over how to tell you that green makes you look great. Hell, if I liked you less I might have been able to say something sooner.”

Love. If I loved you less, Eddie thinks, but doesn’t say it yet.

Buck is almost gaping by the time Eddie is done talking. He blinks a few times in quick succession, and then finally ducks his head with the most beautiful smile Eddie has seen to date.

“I like you too,” Buck says quietly, then laughs at Eddie’s questioning look, “A stupid, embarrassing amount. Shit. If I had known that’s what the flowers and the compliments were for. Eddie, I’d have-” Buck lets out a slow breath, “I just couldn’t let myself hope. I wanted it too much.”

Eddie finally breeches the few steps between them and moves to plant himself in front of Buck. He reaches up a hand to cup Buck’s jaw and run his thump against the stubble on Buck’s cheek.

“Will you go out on a date with me, Buck?” Eddie asks warmly, his eyes not leaving Buck’s face and his smiling lips for a second.

“Yeah. Yes,” Buck grins, “And I think I owe you dinner for-” Buck shrugs, “Taking this long to get it.”

“Get it? I literally had to tell you,” Eddie points out laughingly, because he might be dying to kiss Buck but it’s his duty as Buck’s best friend to never let him live this down.

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Buck groans and squeezes his eyes shut before giving an exasperated sigh. “I guess I owe you flowers too and-”

Eddie never gets to hear what else he’s owed because his self control finally snaps and he kisses Buck mid-sentence. It’s messy at first but so exhilarating that Eddie feels a rush through his body. He pulls back momentarily to look at Buck and finds him smiling blissfully with his eyes closed.

Eddie swoops in for another kiss, this one slower and lasting longer. He runs a hand through Buck’s hair, grabs gently at his cheek with the other, while Buck’s own hands press against the small of Eddie’s back and occasionally roam to his waist.

When they break apart, they’re both panting for breath and smiling. Buck rests his forehead against Eddie’s for a few heartbeats, and one of his hands comes up to cup Eddie’s jaw.

“I forgot what I was going to say,” Buck laughs.

“Doesn’t matter,” Eddie kisses the corner of Buck’s mouth and relishes the smile it draws. “We have plenty of time for you to remember. Maybe on our next date.”

Eddie punctuates that statement with another kiss.

Buck, seemingly no longer interested in words, hums his assent then kisses Eddie hungrily, effectively ensuring that Eddie forgets his words too for the moment. Eddie thinks that it isn’t such a loss because he now knows how to show Buck his feelings, and he knows that -when he needs them again- the words will be there for Eddie to tell Buck just how much he feels about him.

Eddie’s chest thrums with excitement at the prospect of a future spent telling Evan Buckley how much he loves him, but he elects to let their kisses do the talking for now. There will be plenty of time for words later.

AO3 link in reblogs!

#buddie #buck x eddie #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #userkimmy #letitialewiss #my stuff #userjilly

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another-stark-sub · 4 years

Text

His Lap Part 2 - Tony Stark Imagine

Summary: Part 2 to His Lap

Warnings: explicit content, full-on smut, kinda voyeurism, denial, thigh riding, bit of degradation, bit of overstimulation, some aftercare and fluff at the end

Word Count: 1864

Notes: kinda hate the ending but also couldn’t help myself so hope its not horrble

Steve and Tony were still talking, and there was a dark spot on Tony’s jeans. You knew because there were only so many places to look to try and distract yourself. Closing your eyes just intensified the sensations of your pussy rubbing against the denim. Looking at Tony’s face didn’t help, because you wanted to kiss him senseless, but he was talking to the damn captain.

You don’t how long it’s been, but you were getting tired. Your hips and legs were starting to ache, and as much as you wanted to please your boyfriend by riding his thigh while he was on the phone, you weren’t sure how much longer you could do it.

As Steve talked about numbers and publicity and other boring things, your hips started to slow. You began to drag out each roll of your hips, pressing the entire length of your sex against his thigh before coming back up and doing it all over again. Becoming more and more lethargic, when your pussy was pressed up against him again, you stayed there and let out a satisfied “Mm.” Sure, you weren’t coming, but this was the closest you could get, and you were getting sleepy.

“Hey!”

Startled, you sat up again. Tony’s eyes were on you, and he didn’t look happy.

You didn’t dare say a thing though. Steve was still on the phone. “What?” he asked.

Tony’s gaze didn’t leave yours. “Sorry, Cap.” He cleared his throat and, gently, placed his hands on your hips. “My new kitten needs attention.”

Your breath hitched. You put your hands on top of his, but Tony just slapped your hands away.

“You guys got a cat?” Steve asked.

Tony smirked before undoing his belt. “Yeah, fostering.” He smiled at you. “I just need to give it a toy.” He shimmied out of his pants, just enough to pull out his cock. “Gimme a second, Cap. Gotta make sure little kitty’s satisfied.” With his hands back on your hips, he pulled you closer. “Come here, sweetheart.” He kissed you quickly.

Tony did everything for you. He lowered you onto him, and you couldn’t help the sigh turned moan that escaped your lips when his cock finally slipped into you. “Tony,” you whispered.

“Sh, darling,” he said. “I’m still on the phone.”

“Aw, I’m glad you two are fostering a cat,” Steve said.

“Yeah.” Tony lifted up his hips, and your cunt was stretched over his thick cock.

“Ah, fuck,” you tried to keep it in, but you knew you couldn’t. You fell onto Tony and hoped that by burying your face in his neck would help mask your moans.

“Me, too, Cap,” Tony added. And just like that, Tony thrust up into you over and over again like his life depended on it.

You clenched around him, and the pleasure you had been craving was finally yours. Your moans got louder and louder, and it was too hard to hide it. When Tony started to groan, you could feel your resolve breaking. You wanted to scream. There was no other way to express the barrage of feelings that hit you over and over again.

In the background, you could hear the captain saying something before hanging up.

“Fucking finally,” Tony said. He pressed his lips against yours. “I was waiting for you to make some sort of fucking noise.”

“You were?” you squeaked. It was hard to say anything coherent while he was bouncing your up and down his cock.

He laughed. “You really wanted to be a good girl for me, didn’t you? Staying quiet and- Fuck! You’re so tight for me, aren’t you?”

“Mhm,” you said. “Always- Ah! For you, always for you.”

“Such a good little kitten.” He exhaled sharply before holding you close. Without pulling out of you, he flipped you over so that he could fuck you right into the couch. “What. A. Slut.” He scoffed. “Rutting all over my thigh like that while I was talking to Cap and loving every single moment.”

Tony stretched your legs so they were over his shoulders. You cried out, the sweet pain of being stretched over him combined with the constant in and out, in and out, hitting that spot inside you every single thrust. “Tony,” you moaned. “Fuck, Tony, please!”

“You didn’t even care that Cap was on the phone, didn’t you?”

“No!”

“Exactly, cause you’re my slut, aren’t you?”

“Yes!” you screamed. Your breaths came out in pants, and you couldn’t think about anything besides being fucked. “Tony,” you panted, “Tony, I’m gonna-”

“Finally gonna cum?”

You nodded.

He smiled. “You needed me to cum, how sweet.” He thrust up into you and stopped.

“Tony,” you gasped.

“Nuh-uh, sweetheart.” He leaned down and said, “I want you to hear how wet you are first.” He circled his hips into you, rubbing and pressing against your clit as he did. “Because most of that was just from riding my thigh.” He smiled oh so devilishly. “And remember that you couldn’t cum without my cock.”

Slowly, he pulled out, inch by inch, and you could hear the squelching of your wetness. You moaned, your poor abused cunt not sure if it wanted to be full or not. But you did know one thing, you wanted to cum.

“Fuck, you’re dripping, darling.” Tony left the tip inside of you and asked, “You wanna cum?”

You nodded.

“What do you need to cum?”

You inhaled deeply, preparing yourself for the onslaught that you knew you were going to get. “I need your cock.”

He raised his eyebrow.

“Please, Tony,” you whined. “Please, I need your cock to cum.”

“That’s better. Ok, sweetheart. I’ll make you cum.”

He thrust back into you, and your jaw dropped. You didn’t have time to process anything, the fullness, the feel of his jeans against your ass, his hands on your legs, none of that. It was just his cock pounding into you again and again until you were screaming.

The knot in your belly snapped, overwhelming you with the pleasure you had wanted for so long. Your pussy clenched around him, and for a moment you had relief. Just for a moment. Because while you had already reached your high, Tony had yet to reach his.

So, he kept thrusting into you, grunting and moaning, as your satisfaction turned back into a torturous pleasure. “Tony,” you gasped.

“Almost there, sweetheart. Wanna clench around my cock again?”

You didn’t have any energy left to nod or say yes. You just clenched around him, and his reaction was immediate. Your name fell from his lips in a sensual groan, and he finally stilled inside of you.

You may not have reached your high, but, god, to see your boyfriend gasping and speechless because of you, it gave you a sense of calm bliss that nothing else could.

As Tony relaxed, you stretched your legs and removed them from Tony’s shoulders. Your boyfriend nearly fell on top of you, but he caught himself. It was a sight to see. Tony Stark was practically glowing, and he was so handsome. You smiled and kissed him softly. “Hey,” you managed to say.

He gazed at you in awe before gulping. “I fuck your brains out and that’s all you could say?”

You laughed. “Well, that and you did it while on the phone with Captain America.” Captain America, golden boy, had heard you have sex with your boyfriend over the phone. Already feeling the heat pool in your cheeks, you covered your face. “Oh god.”

Tony laughed. “You know he’s heard worse.”

“Still doesn’t make it less awkward whenever I see him.”

“Don’t worry.” He kissed you. “We’ll just wait until he hears Thor going at it with Jane, and he’ll forget all about this.”

“Thor’s coming back to Earth?”

“Mhm. Next week, I think.” Tony pushed himself off the couch, his cock slipping out of you, causing the two of you to sigh. After wiping the sweat from his forehead, your boyfriend looked at himself. He was still fully clothed. He shrugged and took off his boxers and pants before holding out both of his hands. “Come on. Gotta clean ourselves up after that round.”

You took both of his hands and pulled yourself up. Your legs were unsteady, as they always were after any round with Tony. Said perpetrator just chuckled.

“What are you laughing at?” you playfully snapped. “You’re the one with only a T-shirt on.”

“Nothing!” He held your hands and started to walk you to the bathroom. “Just my beautiful girlfriend who I love and cherish.” He smiled and kissed your hand. “The very same one that I’m gonna help to the bathroom.”

“Aw.” You kissed his cheek. “I’ll help you, too.”

“Can you keep your hands to yourself in the shower?”

“No promises.”

~ - ~

“You guys got a cat?” Steve asked. He was pretty sure Tony wasn’t that fond of cats. Although, he couldn’t put it past you to adopt a stray.

“Yeah,” Tony replied. “Fostering.”

There was something in Tony’s voice that was off. Still, Steve assumed it was because Tony was adjusting to the cat.

“I just need to give it a toy,” Tony said. “Gimme a second, Cap. Gotta make sure little kitty’s satisfied.”

Steve shrugged and put the phone on speaker. “Of course, no problem.” He put the phone down on the coffee table before looking at his notebook. He had some notes written down from the news segment.

“Come here, sweetheart.”

The captain raised his eyebrow. Usually, if Tony was talking to an animal, his voice didn’t sound so, well, deep.

“You might wanna hang up the phone,” Bucky suggested.

Steve was about to ask why when he heard another voice from the phone. A gasp of “Tony,” barely audible.

“Sh, darling,” Tony said. “I’m still on the phone.”

Steve smiled. “Aw, I’m glad you two are fostering a cat.”

“Steve, hang up the phone,” Bucky said.

“Why?”

Tony’s voice came again. “Yeah.”

Then, your voice came through, loud and clear. “Ah, fuck.”

Steve’s eyes widened. Tony wouldn’t. Actually, wait, he would. But you? Actually, nevermind that either. The two of you would definitely do that.

Both men could practically hear Tony smirk. “Me, too, Cap.”

Steve didn’t know what sound he made, but it was one of pure disgust. “Fucking hell, we were supposed to be talking about publicity and how-”

Their moans interrupted him.

“I’m hanging up.” Finally, Steve hung up the phone and covered his face with his hands. “Why do they do that?”

“Because she can’t keep her hands off him and vice versa,” Bucky explained simply. “I’m surprised it took you that long.”

“You could’ve told me.”

Bucky shrugged. “Much more fun that way. Plus, now you’re prepared. Thor’s coming back in a few days, and he’s pretty insatiable.”

“But, he’s just coming back for the briefing, isn’t he?”

“Which lasts a day.” Bucky put away his book and leaned so his arms were resting on his thighs. “And Thor’s staying with Jane for a whole week.”

Steve’s eyes widened as the horrifying reality of what noises would fill the day settled in. “Oh fu-”

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anotherhamiltonblog · 4 years

Text

Foreign Touch ch 7

Warnings: Angst. Panic Attack. Talk of Character Death. Cursing. the boys being cute friends. Thomas being a Cute boyfriend.

Word Count: 2.638

Previously Masterlist

A/N: I’m so sorry for the delay guys. I posted a few days ago that I was going through something and just needed to leave and take some time for myself. BUT I’m back and working on the stories! SO here you go! Chapter 7!!!

Enjoy!

Two weeks after waking up and finding out about her parents, Y/N was starting to feel a little better. New Year’s came and gone; her grandparents almost never left her side. Sadly, Thomas, Alexander and her friends had to go back to school. Bringing cards, gifts and flowers each time they were allowed to visit. Mostly from her classmates, her cheer squad and her teachers. Something that brought a smile to her face, what didn’t make Y/N happy was the homework.

Late one afternoon, with notebooks, pens, textbooks and her iPad around her. Y/N felt like her head was going to explode. Her leg was itching and aching. Her head always felt heavy, her chest and ribs hurt. Yet, Y/N never asked for more pain medication. She knew what could happen if she had too much, being addicted was not a good sign for her. So instead she dealt through the pain.

“Hi sweety…” a female voice came from the doorway, Y/N looking up and grinning at the sight of Jane Jefferson and Martha Washington standing there.

“We came to bring you some homemade food… the boys should be here soon. I was visiting Jane here and came along to see how you’re doing.” Martha spoke and walked over, only to frown at the amount of homework Y/N had spread around the hospital bed.

“Now, I know that all this can wait…” but Y/N cut Martha off.

“It can’t… not if I want to get into a good college!” she frowned and looked down. “Julliard and the other Art Schools won’t accept me now that I can’t dance anymore.” She rolled her eyes and flopped back on the pillows behind her.

“Hey, none of that now.” Jane came over and both Martha and her started to clean up the schoolwork. “Thomas tells me you are one of the smartest students in that school. I’m sure no one will blame you for not putting your schoolwork as a priority right now.”

Once everything was cleaned up, Y/N felt like she could breathe again. “I just…” but she trailed off and closed her eyes. “I couldn’t attend the funeral… I get out tomorrow. I have this thing on my leg and stitches and I’m ugly and I just miss them so much!” she cried as tears started to slip down her cheeks.

Both women looked at each other and frowned before sitting on either side of Y/N, both trying to comfort the crying girl. Jane even mentioning for Thomas to get back out when he arrived at the door.

“You aren’t alone. OK?” Martha said softly, “I know for a fact that Jane here will allow you to go over to her home whenever you feel like it. My home is always opened for you as well, sweetie.” She whispered. “I knew your parents; they would have preferred it this way than having to bury their child. There is no greater pain for a parent than to have to say goodbye to their child. You will have so much support. George and I, Jane and her husband. You have your soulmate, Alexander and all your friends…”

“We almost lost you as well, Y/N.” Jane added now. “We only know this because your mark appeared on Thomas… both he and Alexander almost broke down.” She kissed the girls head softly. “You will never be alone. OK? We will all help you whenever you need. We’re all here for you.”

As she cried softly, Y/N nodded at their words and knew it would take some time, but she would be surrounded by people to help her.

By the time Y/N had calmed down a good amount, the two women left, and Thomas walked in with a small smile on his face. Y/N fixed herself on the bed and made space for her boyfriend to join her. Once he got on the bed, Y/N found herself cuddling with the man and closed her eyes.

“Your friends said they’ll give us about ten minutes before they barge in here…” Thomas said against her hair and smiled. The words causing Y/N to smile sadly.

She didn’t speak, feeling like she would cry if she even tried to speak. Instead she closed her eyes and let out a small sigh. Eyes closed and Y/N took in the silence and the cologne Thomas was wearing.

The scent being one that could always comfort her.

“I don’t wanna go home…” she finally managed to speak, her voice betraying her and cracking in the middle of the short sentence.

“I can’t go back there; I can’t be in the house without them… or with my grandparents… they’re old! They need to rest and look after themselves. I’m about to be eighteen! I can figure things out on my own…” her voice got softer at the end and she sighed.

“If you don’t want to go back home, no one can make you. Alexander has been staying with John ever since the accident.” Y/N felt his lips brush against her forehead as he spoke. “You can come stay with me and my parents. They won’t mind. They love you. There’s Mr. and Mrs. Washington. You know how much they love all of us over…” but Y/N cut him off.

“The last thing I want to do, is be a burden for anyone.” She snorted. “Fucking look at me, Thomas! I’m black, blue and stitched! I died for like a whole minute! I’m going to be walking funny, I can’t dance anymore! I can’t practice violin until my hand stops aching.” She almost snapped at her boyfriend. The two now sitting up on the bed. “I can’t even study, cause I don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on in class and no one to explain this shit to me. Alex and I have to bury our parents!

“I… I can’t… I don’t want to get in a car anymore! Or look at any bright lights!” she blinked a few times. Trying to stop the tears. “The doctor came in a few days ago… early in the morning to check me out. Flashed a damn light in my eye to test whatever the fuck they were testing, and I panicked! I saw the car coming and I heard the screams!”

Little did Y/N know, her brother and friends were outside the room listening in. Once things were quiet, they entered slowly.

The distraction helped. Alex saw Thomas standing beside the bed, Y/N sitting up looking stressed.

“Someone needs a sponge bath.” Hercules said with a sad smile, thankfully his words made a small smile appear on the girls face.

“God no…” she huffed. “What’s under this gown… not pretty” Y/N added a bit softer and looked down at her hands. A needle still stuck in her hand, tape and a bandage over it. Her other hand was bandaged up as well. Her body was still healing, her ribs mostly.

The cast she wore on her leg went an inch above her knee and down to her feet. Only her toes peeking out.

“I spoke to the nurse… we can wheel you around today…” Alexander spoke and that’s how the group spent the rest of the visitation time. Wheeling Y/N around the hospital, finding a garden and talking nonsense.

In the end, Y/N took up Thomas’ offer in going home with him. Her grandparents had been present at the time, having come around to visit her. They understood and allowed it.

That night, being the last night in the hospital. Y/N fell asleep somewhat easily, of course with some help of the antidepressants that had an extra kick to help with the anxiety she felt and the sleeplessness.

By the next morning, with the help from a nurse -much to her slight embarrassment- Y/N got changed into very loose sweatpants, sock and shoe on her bare foot and a long sleeve, loose shirt. Foregoing the bra, Y/N didn’t want to wear the thing and have it irritating her aching chest and back.

Messaging Thomas, she grinned at their little interaction. Y/N’s grandparents had signed her out and all she had to do was wait for her boyfriend to come. The room she had been staying in was bare once again, the decorations her friends had put up was taken down now, presents safely in her bag.

The ring, the purple two hearted Dimond with a silver band. It was safely on her right-hand ring finger. Reminding her of the promise Thomas had made her when he presented the ring to Y/N.

Y/N sat there looking at the tiny ring inside the box in shock. “Thomas… this isn’t some kind of proposal….” But he chuckled and cut her off.

“No princess, nothing like that. We aren’t close to being ready for marriage.” He teased softly and took her hands in his. “This is just… a promise. That I’ll stick by your side. Thick and thin, I’ll always be here for you. OK? No matter what happens, and not just because we’re soulmates. I liked you even before we found out… finding out you were my other half, the girl I’m destined to be with? That’s fate.”

His words brough tears to her eyes, Y/N feeling like she spent a lot of her time crying. Only this time, the tears were ones of happiness.

“You know I’ve always been some kind of asshole. To Alex, to the other kids at school and the girls. When I got back from Paris, and the mark appeared on me. I doubted I would ever find the girl who was supposed to be with me. Then there you were, always running from me.” He laughed slightly. “I fell for you instantly, the first time you called me out on my bullshit and defended your brother. I thought god was punishing me, making me fall for someone as amazing as you and you not being my soulmate... but I must have done something right to be able to spend my life with you.”

Pulling Thomas in and pressing their lips together, the kiss was soft and sweet.

“Thank you… god I love you Thomas Jefferson.” Y/N spoke against his lips and held him close to her. The couple spending that night holding the other while the nurses allowed Thomas to spend the night. Having seen the interaction between the two.

Snapping back to the present, Y/N smiled and brushed her messy, dirty hair away from her face. Other than the horrible time trying to shower in the bathroom she had access to. Y/N was ready to head home…

It was than that she remembered she wouldn’t be going home. She was going to live with Thomas and his family. With a sigh, eyes closed. Y/N never noticed someone entering her room.

“Hey sweetheart…”

Looking over towards the door, Y/N smiled at Thomas standing there before rolling her eyes at the wheelchair brought in. Of course, Y/N already knew she would have to be pushed out in the wheelchair. Doesn’t mean she was happy about it.

“Ready to go?” he asked and stepped closer, grabbing her things so Y/N wouldn’t have to worry about anything.

With a nod, Y/N tried to hide how anxious she was feeling about getting in a car again. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Using the crutches, she was given, Y/N was able to sit down on the wheelchair and allowed Thomas to place a knitted hat on the top of her head before wrapping his scarf around her. Ignoring the unamused look Y/N was giving him.

“Just wanna make sure you don’t catch a cold.” He grinned cheekily at her and Y/N couldn’t help but smile at him.

Soon enough, she was being pushed out of the hospital building and after blinking a few times, trying to get used to the brightness of the sun hitting the snow. Y/N looked at the car and tried to calm herself down.

‘You’ll be alright… Thomas knows what he’s doing. He won’t let anything happen to you…’ Y/N thought as the wheelchair stopped next to the car and there was her boyfriend helping her into the passenger seat.

Bidding the nurse goodbye, the door was closed, and the seatbelt was on. Suddenly it all felt too real. Closing her eyes and taking deep breaths, Y/N softly spoke to herself. “In through the nose……. Out through the mouth.”

“You ready?” Y/N heard Thomas ask and she just nodded her head. Refusing to open her eyes, though she didn’t need to look at Thomas to know he was staring at her.

As the car started to move, Y/N felt herself get choked up, her throat and chest starting to ache. She felt like she was starting to drown, she could barely hear the radio that had been on. Only when she felt a hand grasp hers, did she open her eyes and glance over at Thomas. Not noticing the tears that were slowly making its way down her cheeks.

“I got you princess… I’ll go slow if that makes you more comfortable. OK?” Y/N heard Thomas say and she just nodded. Focusing on her boyfriend in the drivers seat.

Taking in his features, seeing the dark circles under his eyes, the beard that was growing and obviously hasn’t been taken care of in a while. His hair was tied up in a bun, reminding me of Lafayette. Chuckling softly at the thought, Y/N wiped at her eyes before lifting his hand up and softly brushing her lips over his knuckles. Giving it a soft squeeze.

“You doing ok, princess?” she heard him ask and Y/N didn’t speak, just gave a hum in response.

It felt like she was in the car for hours, her anchor for not falling into a panic attack being was holding Thomas’ hand. Hearing him softly talk to her and knowing that he never took his eyes off the road. Not once.

By the time they finally made it to the Jefferson’s home. Y/N allowed Thomas to carry her inside, not wanting her to end up slipping on the ice on the ground with her crutches. Being placed on the couch, Y/N couldn’t help but smile at her boyfriend. Watching as he rushed back outside to grab all her bags. By the time he returned, yelling that he was going to place her things in the room she would be staying in. Y/N shook her head and chuckled before lifting her leg up onto the couch and got comfortable.

Eyeing the ring on her finger, Y/N couldn’t help but take a picture of it and post it on Instagram. Giggling at the comment John put, she wanted to mess with Alex, so Y/N quickly got a hashtag going and laughed when comments started rolling in.

“Did you really make the same comment twice?” Y/N softly spoke when she saw Thomas come back down the stairs with his phone in his hand. A large smile on his face he nodded.

“Wanted to irritate your brother, and it worked.” Was his response, making Y/N softly laugh.

Fixing herself, letting Thomas sit behind her so her back was to his chest. The two watched some baking show on the TV before Y/N started to laugh and showed Thomas that Mr. Washington and Aaron also commented.

The rest of the day, with take out on the coffee table the couple spent watching TV and enjoying the silence. Y/N ended up falling asleep with a blanket over her body and Thomas with his arm around his girl as his head was tipped back against the couch cushions. That was how Thomas’ parents found the two teenagers when they got home that night. Making the two adults smile and let them sleep, seeing as they both looked comfortable enough.

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janeyseymour · 4 years

Text

Simple as Anything (pt. 3)

Catherine and Katherine confront Jane. Final Chapter.

Beginning

Pt. 2

“Jane?” Catherine opened the door without being let in. Seeing the blonde woman who was usually so full of life and love and hope so broken was not an image she enjoyed. “It’s Catherine. Are you alright?”

“Come on Jane. Get yourself together. You’re fine, it’s fine,” the third queen continued whispering to herself, completely unaware of the other woman in the room.

“Jane,” Catherine cooed as she sat on the bed next to the silver queen. Feeling the bed dip shook the panicked woman, sending her into more of a panic.

“Holy fuck,” Jane breathed, eyes blown wide with panic. “Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The woman knew what she had experienced was a dream, but it had felt so real.

“Janey, what are you talking about?”

“Jane?” A tired Katherine stood at the door, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

“No, no, no, no, no,” the queen in question mumbled repeatedly as she backed herself against her headboard. “Please, I’m sorry.” What on Earth was she apologizing for?

“Mija, it’s just Kitty.”

“No. No, she’s going to hurt me.” The two women who had entered the room didn’t expect Jane to be fearful of her own daughter.

Kat wracked her brain for the different ways that Jane could calm her down before speaking softly,” Mum, it’s Kitty. It’s Monday, and you fell asleep. You had a nightmare. You’re in our house, and you’re safe. Can I come closer?” There was no evidence that the blonde queen had even heard her.

“Jane dear,” Catalina tried. “It’s Aragon.” She laid a gentle hand overtop of the shaking one. “If you can hear me, please squeeze my hand.” The faintest grip could be felt.

“Did she?” Catherine nodded.

“Can you try again querida?” This time, a firm squeeze was felt. “Wonderful. Keep doing that honey. You’re going to be okay. It’s just me and your daughter here, and you’re safe.”

“Mum?” Kat moved a little closer, feeling like maybe she could be near her mother without sending her into a frenzy again. When Jane didn’t scramble for the headboard again, the fifth queen knew she could sit on the bed.

Almost instantly though, Jane’s breath quickened again, and the grip on Aragon’s hand had gotten tighter.

“Five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste,” Kat recited to the woman who often said the exact same thing to her.

“Come on love. You’re okay. It’s okay,” the gold queen encouraged her.

“I, uh,” Jane started to look around, eyes still filled with panic. “I c-can see Aragon, K-Kitty, m-my water glass, b-blankets, and uh,” she trailed off.

“Come on mum. Just one more, and then we can do what we feel.”

Jane took a deeper breath than she had in quite a few minutes. “I see m-my desk.”

“Great job Jane,” Catalina smiled. “Can you take another breath and tell us what you can feel?”

“Mhm,” Jane drew in a deep breath. “Your warm hand, my soft blankets, uh... my pajamas against my skin, and uhm, I don’t know what else.”

“That’s okay Mum,” Kat assured her maternal figure. “What about, hm...” She opened her arms for her mother to fall into if she so desired. For the amount of fear that remained in the woman’s eyes, she surprisingly fell into the open arms.

“I feel your arms around me,” Jane sighed as she moved in closer to the youngest queen.

“Okay good. And three things you can hear?” Katherine persisted. The oldest and youngest queens shared a look, smiling softly at each other. They made a good team when the blonde needed help.

“I can hear both of your breathing...” Jane looked at the two with curious eyes. It was different to see the woman who always looked so maternal staring up at her daughter with childish eyes. “Does that count as two?”

“I don’t think so mija,” Catherine stifled a laugh. “Two more things.”

“I can hear Annie running the water in the bathroom. And, I can hear, uhm... I don’t know,” she finished.

“What about my voice Mum?” Kat suggested.

“Yeah, I uh, can hear your voice now.”

“And two things you can smell?”

“I can smell your shampoo and Lina’s laundry detergent.”

“And one thing you can taste, Janey?” the first queen asked.

“The wine I had at dinner.”

“Good job Mum. Are you a little more relaxed?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry for causing trouble. I’m okay now,” Jane shied away from the youngest queen. “I’m good. Sorry.”

“Janey,” Lina sighed. “It’s pretty clear you’re not.”

“We just want to help,” Kat tried to assure her maternal figure.

“I’m sorry I didn’t do the cleaning today,” Jane breathed out.

“Is that what this is about honey?” Catherine stared at the blonde in front of her. The woman in question could only nod.

“You know we don’t care, right? We just wanted to make sure you were okay. It’s not like you to skip out on cleaning the house,” Kat said.

“But it’s my job to-”

“No. It’s all of our responsibility to keep the house in check. I can’t believe we let you do all of it for this long,” Catalina admitted.

“No, but I’m the Mum of the household. It’s my job.”

“You might be the mum of the household, but it's all our duty. We’re all grown women Mum.”

“It’s more than that,” Jane admitted shyly. When the two women with her stayed silent, urging her on, she continued. “Whenever I see other mothers around town, they’re all dressed to the nines and happily going about their days. They all seem like they’re doing it all and they’re doing it just fine, and they’re fine. And, I’m just... not. I’m not always fine. I’m never really fine. And I thought maybe just skipping out on my chores for the day would help me relax and feel better, but it didn’t. I felt worse after watching you-” she gestured towards the gold queen. “-clean what I should have, and I snapped at you-” she looked at her daughter. “-and then I had this horrid, horrid dream.”

“About?” Both queens asked.

“How I skipped out on my cleaning one day, and the next thing I knew, it was six months later. The show had closed, I had killed someone drunk driving, and you all hated me,” the blonde shrugged casually, but the tears in her eyes gave away her emotion.

“Is that why you looked so terrified of me?” Kat was afraid of her answer. Jane nodded slightly, a faceful of embarrassment.

“I’m never going to be the mothers I see on the streets. I always feel like there’s something to do or fix or be, and I’m never going to live up to the expectations. I have so many things to do on my to-do list in a day, and it’s nearly impossible for me to get it all done; even when I stay up all hours of the night and get less sleep than Cathy. And then, I get cranky. Even if nothing in particular has happened, I get moody. But, because I’m Mum, I have to-”

“You don’t have to keep it all at bay. You can be honest with us about your feelings Janey.”

“I have to. I have to pretend like everything is fine, and I have everything together because,” Jane took a deep breath, finally allowing the newly appearing tears to fall. “If I can’t manage it, well who can?”

#six the musical #six musical #six fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six fanfic #six musical fanfic #jane seymour #six jane seymour

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gimmeyoon · 5 years

Text

Float Down

✰ pairing: Namjoon x Reader

✰ setting: College AU

✰ word count: 9.8 k

✰ Part of the Weather Series

✰ warnings: explicit language, smut (Oral (f), daddy kink, spanking)

✰ Playlist available in series masterlist

✰ summary: ❝Working in the library gave you free printing and lots of time with Kim Namjoon❞

There's something magical about walking outside in the fall. The way the leaves look as they fall to the sidewalks transports you to your own movie set where you, the reluctant lead, discover things about yourself as the cold air sets in. You almost gag for even thinking something so corny.

It's true though. You never mind walking to work in the Fall, even though you are the only one unlucky enough to be scheduled for the morning shift at your schools academic center in the library. Everyone else had said they were unavailable at this time. You loved money too much to turn it down.

The leaves are just starting to change colors now, and in your opinion they never stay this way long enough. It was only the other day your best friend Mia posted a selfie with her first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season, but soon all of the leaves would be gone.

Each year it feels like this time moves too quickly, but it truly feels like you just moved back onto campus the other day. Sometimes you wonder if you're taking advantage of these years enough. You know the answer is no, it's in your nature to sit back and let the world move around you and then one day wonder where all the time went.

But for now you don't want to think about that. You refuse to think about the falling leaves and how they mark the passage of time and the circle of life. It's too early to have your first existential crisis of the day. Instead you think about how pretty they are. Bright orange, yellow, and red. Pretty.

You love the smell of shallow thoughts and repressed emotions in the morning.

You're not surprised to find him sitting by your desk when you get there. The only other person insane enough to already be up and thinking about his life is Namjoon, and as usual he is already in the library. Without fail, he's always in the library when you are, either studying, tutoring, or waiting to talk to the director of subject tutoring as he must be doing now since he's waiting at your desk. If there's anyone who isn't letting a moment go by without ceasing it, it's Namjoon. You often wonder what that's like. You think you should ask him, but you never do.

"Good morning," you said, slipping your backpack off of your shoulders and sitting behind the desk. You clock in as Namjoon echoes your greeting back to you.

"Meeting with Dean?" you asked, looking up at him long enough to catch his nod of affirmation.

"He always gets mad at me for scheduling meetings this early in the morning but it's the only free time I have."

"Have you considered not doing everything?"

"Ah," Namjoon said laughing a little. "Not doing all the things? I wasn't aware that was even possible."

"You should try slacking off like the rest of us, it's been working okay for the centuries this institution has stood."

"'Slacking off,' says the girl here in the library with me on a Friday morning."

"I'm getting paid to basically do my homework," you shrugged, pulling out your planner. "The illusion of being busy with all the lack of responsibility I like."

"Modesty," he said, looking past you as Dean's office opened behind you. "You should take the credit you deserve sometimes."

You don't respond as he walks past you into Dean's office, mostly because you're not sure how to. Maybe he was right about taking credit for things, as you can't even find it in yourself to agree with him. Then again, he was wrong. You were basically getting paid to do your homework. The rest of the building was lifeless as Dean closed his office door. It was just you, your homework, and your supervisor whenever she decided to show up today. Everyone in the academic office took it upon themselves to come in whenever the wanted on Fridays. No one ever came looking for them early in the morning after Thirsty Thursday's anyways.

It was what you liked most about this job, it was stress-free and gave you your own paid study hall. That and you got free printing for technically working for the library.

Your uneventful work day, leads to an uneventful afternoon class, that has you getting home at 6:00pm like ever other Friday, and as usual you want nothing more than to crawl into bed and hibernate for the weekend.

However, as always your roommate Dami has other plans.

"Jackson's having a party at his and we're going," she said as soon as you opened the door to your shared apartment.

"Let the record state that I never got asked if I had plans," you said, setting your backpack down on the kitchen table.

"Let the record state," Mia said, sitting up on the couch so that she could see you, "that you never have plans with anyone besides us anyways."

"The jury should note that I'm offended," you said, mock gasping as you fell onto the couch beside Mia. "You're supposed to band together with me in introvertedness against the great extroverted one," you said pointing to Dami.

"I want to get twisted," she responded, sticking her tongue out at you and laughing.

"I work," you whined. "I'm a single mother of two," you said motioning between your friends.

Dami leaned towards you, excitement on her face. "All the more reason to come out with us tonight."

"Like that one Melissa McCarthy movie," Mia said.

"Are you comparing to a recently divorced middle-aged woman?"

"You started it," Mia said, holding her hands up in defense.

Hours later you find yourself stuffed into a skirt that just barely fits, but makes your ass look good, and Dami's handiwork on your face, which always makes you look unlike yourself but in a good way you think. Not that you normally is bad, it's just not something that makes people stop and comment. You prefer it that way.

Dami's boyfriend, Jackson, almost never goes to frat parties. It's why he rents the off-campus house he and some of his friends live in. He's always been anti-fraternity, something to do with his brother and hazing, so his place has always been the go-to for those who don't want to deal with greek life. You've always preferred his place to the other's Dami drags you. You could feel comfortable in any room at his house, no short dress or boob shirt required.

For those less cultured or male in the audience, a boob shirt is like a regular shirt, but it shows off your boobs.

Unless of course, it was a night like tonight, where Dami insisted on dressing you like one her dolls. You might not need the shirt skirt, but you certainly were wearing it.

Truly the best part of Dami's boyfriend's place was the used-to-be stray cat that now lives there.

Mary Jane.

She was a simple woman, bring her food, and you could pet her. Bring a treat? You might as well take her home with you, because you're her new best friend.

So you do the rounds, following Dami and Mia around the party and saying hi to your mutual friends, but you always keep in mind that you know exactly where Jackson keeps the cat treats. When you pass by the kitchen the first time, you resist the urge to go grab them, because it's too early and Dami and Mia will absolutely call you out on ignoring everyone.

But that's exactly what you want to do, so 30 minutes later when you pass by again, you turn into the kitchen, grab the treats from the top shelf of the cabinet on the right, and make your way upstairs.

You'd already scouted the downstairs as you walked through the party and Mary Jane was no where to be seen. Not surprising, she usually didn't like to be around the large crowd of people.

You finally find her at the end of the upstairs hallway, in one of the other housemates rooms. You hesitate for a moment, because it's not Jackson's and it's not Mark's, the only other room you've been invited into to for the sole purpose of playing Mario Kart a few weeks ago.

You decide to head inside anyways, and ask for forgiveness instead of permission, because the promise of solitude and cat cuddles is more than enough to push aside your inhibitions.

She hesitates at first, but after you present the bag of treats to her she's hooked. She purrs with delight as you feed her the treats and comes to rest on your lap as you sit on the floor leaned up against the foot of the bed. Alcohol has always had a specific sleep-inducing effect on you, and you can feel it happening as your eyes feel heavy and close just as the door to the room opens.

It takes a moment for you to turn and see who has come to potentially kick you out, but your eyes go wide as you realize who it is.

"Oh," Namjoon said as you looked at each other.

"Cat," you said pointing at Mary Jane.

"You think that argument will hold up in court?" he asked walking further into the room.

"I might need a few more words, but I have proof," you said holding up the bag of treats, causing Mary Jane to jump from your lap towards them, scratching your leg as she does so.

You curse as your hand moves to the wound, looking down at the surface level scratches she's caused.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Namjoon asked, moving quickly to your side.

"Yeah," you assured him quickly. "It's not even bleeding that much."

"That much," he echoed with wide eyes. "Here let me get you a band-aid or something."

You watched silently as he stood up and left the room, your heart doing this weird flippy-thing you couldn't describe. You knew Namjoon and nothing about him offering to help you was surprising.

That was the thing about Namjoon. He was kind of perfect. You knew from your own job that he worked harder than anyone else you knew. He was handsome and kind and he smiled at you like you mattered.

You didn't give into any delusions that he would like you back. He could have literally anyone.

Once he walked back into the room, a band-aid in hand, you've managed to convince your heart to calm down. Namjoon was nice to everyone. He would get a band-aid for anyone.

"She doesn't know her own strength," he joked, as he also handed you a cotton ball. "Peroxide," he answered, before you could ask.

He sort of awkwardly, looks at the scratches on your thigh, before clearing his throat, and moving to sit beside you on the floor. Once you finish cleaning the area and applying the bandage, you look up at him. He's been watching your work, offering a small smile as his eyes meet yours.

"I was just going to watch a movie and drink alone," he said, reaching over into the fridge by his bed and pulling out two beers. "You could join me if you wanted to."

"Oh, I don't want to barge in," you said, shaking your head and moving to stand.

"You already did that," he laughs, handing the beer to you. "Seriously, neither of us want to be at the actual party, but drinking alone seems sad."

"Are you sure?" you asked, still not sitting down all the way.

He looked back at you, his same kind smile making your knees a little weak. "Definitely."

"Okay," you said, sitting down and twisting the top off of the beer.

"Great," he said, moving grabbing the remote off of the TV stand. "How do you feel about the Nightmare Before Christmas?"

"I feel great about it," you responded, just as Mary Jane came walking back to you.

Namjoon laughed as she curled up into your lap again. She almost seems apologetic as she avoids the bandaged area.

And as the two of you sit in silence, drinking and watching the movie together, you can't help but think about how nice it all is. How you wouldn't mind doing this more often. How Namjoon makes the party seem so far yet at the same time right here as just the two of you.

College often feels like living from one weekend to the next. The weeks blend together as the two days you have off move too quickly.

You get to skip the parties the following weekend, but only because the three of you have plans to go the pumpkin patch. Dami planned it at the beginning of the year, specifically for her three best girls and her best boy.

Jackson pretend to hate when she called him that.

However, at some point it became a roommate outing, meaning Jackson's roommates also tagged along. Which means that Namjoon was there as well.

It's becoming increasingly normal to see him, but something about your time together last weekend has you feeling butterflies in your chest as you see him walk over with Jackson and Mark.

Somehow you manage to fall into step with him like a normal person, as your friends walk ahead of you, goofing off together.

"How was your math test?" Namjoon asked, to which you had to maintain your composure and not freak out a little because he remembered you had a test after he saw you studying in the library.

"Good," you said, nodding your head while you mentally screamed. "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"That's always good," he said, nodding his head as well.

Dami yells something about the corn maze as she motions for everyone to follow her and heads into it.

You and Namjoon share a look before following after your friends. You can hear them ahead of you laughing and carrying on, but you make no effort to catch up. You notice that Namjoon doesn't either.

"Do you like fall?" he asked, as you turned left down a path that seemed promising. "Like do you enjoy things like this."

"Yeah," you said, coming to stop at another intersection. "I mostly like that I'm not sweating all of the time now and the world is prettier."

"Yeah," Namjoon said motioning for you to go right. "I mean it's pretty messed up that we think trees are prettier when they're dying, but I get it."

"The trees aren't dying, they're just sleeping."

"Sleeping," he laughs, as you come to another intersection. "I've never head anyone put it like that."

"If they died they wouldn't get new leaves in the Spring."

"Just a flesh wound then," he added.

"You like Monty Python?" you asked, following him as he took the path straight ahead of you two.

"Yeah, I mean, that's the only movie of their's I've seen, but I liked it," Namjoon stopped at yet another intersection, looking both ways and then at you. "They get points for actually making it hard," he laughed, motioning for you to follow him as he turns right down a new path.

You feel a sense of freedom as the two of you finally stumble out of the maze. Dami and Jackson laugh as you practically run to catch up with your friends.

"I thought we were goners," you said, dramatically as Dami threw an arm over your shoulders.

"Two of the smartest people i know and they can't get out of a corn maze," Dami laughs, pulling you into her side. "Come on, let's get cider and donuts before picking out our children."

"Pumpkins," Jackson says, running to catch up with the two of you as you walk towards the concessions stand. "We're getting pumpkins, not children."

"Men," Dami said, rolling her eyes. "Always afraid of commitment."

"Not Namjoon," Mark said, earning a punch in the arm from his friend. "He was like this close to proposing to his girlfriend last year."

"Awh, Namjoon," Dami said. "That's sweet."

"Tell them what you wanted to be when you grew up," Mark said causing Namjoon to stare back at him blankly.

"Far away from you, sounds good now."

"I'm just kidding man," he said as you all finally made it to the food truck and began ordering.

Namjoon looks far away as the group sits down at a picnic table and starts to eat. As everyone talks and laughs together, Namjoon's heart doesn't seem in it. You don't know why you care, it's like no one else in the group does, but you can't stop watching him, wondering if you should say something.

You don't, and by the time all of you get in the back of the truck to go pick your pumpkins, Namjoon seems back to his regular self.

"A boy and a girl," Dami said as she and Jackson held up two of the largest pumpkins in the patch. "What should we name them baby?" she teases as Jackson shakes his head and begins to walk away from her.

"Gourdon and Autumn," you offer, earning a squeal from you friend.

"Your mind is so powerful," she said as she sat her pumpkin down.

"There's no way you guys are getting those back to the tractor," Mia says as she watches Jackson struggle to carry both of them after Dami dumped Autumn or maybe it was Gourdon off on him as well.

"I can handle it," he grunted, earning a cheer of support from Dami.

You have no trouble at all walking back to the tractor, as you hold in your hands one of the smaller pumpkins. Small enough to fit on your desk, though a part of you knew Dami would want them out in the common space of your apartment all together. You want it there so you can look at it while you do your work. A reminder that school might suck but Fall certainly doesn't.

Namjoon must think something similar as he sits down next to you on a hay bale in the back of the wagon being pulled by the tractor.

"You know it's pay by the pound, right?" Namjoon said as he took in the sheer size of Jackson and Dami's pumpkins, which the former did manage to get into the back of the wagon.

"It's what?" Jackson said, his face falling in disbelief as Dami leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you, baby," she said, patting the pumpkin in her lap.

"I love you too," Jackson sighed, shaking his head.

You tried hard to hold in your laughter as the look on Dami's face confirmed your suspicions. She hadn't been talking to Jackson. Namjoon shook silently besides you as well, shooting a knowing glance your way, meant only for the two of you.

Despite the rush of school, time also seems to move slower somehow. Everyone seems to stop and look up and realize the leaves are falling. Or maybe that's just you as you walk to work the following Monday.

It should be a crime to work open on Monday. It was specifically cruel and unusual punishment for a procrastinator like you that obviously waited until the last moment Sunday night to finish your work.

You're not sure who in their right mind would want to be at the academic center this early on a Monday anyways.

Your hypothetical is answered as you see Namjoon sitting across from your desk once you walk into the library.

"Have you heard of sleep?" you asked, as you took your backpack off and sat down.

"Sleep?" he mused, looking up at the ceiling. "I haven't heard that name in years," he continued, pretending to smoke a cigarette.

"Sleep and I are in a meaningful, long-term relationship," you laughed, as you confirmed that Dean wasn't in yet for his meeting with Namjoon.

Of course he's late. Of course you don't mind. Though you do envy him a little bit. You like seeing Namjoon, but as previously stated. You've been loving sleep for longer than this little crush you have.

"How's your pumpkin doing?" he asked, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen between the two of you.

"Happy, healthy, living in a loving and warm environment," you said, pulling out your phone to show him a picture of the gourd sitting on your desk. You and your friends had a carving party the night before, and your's now had a smiling face to confirm your previous statement of happiness.

"You did a good job," he said, handing your phone back to you. "Mine will remain uncarved for the aesthetic," he said. "And by the aesthetic I mean the total lack of artistic talent I have and my inability to wield a knife without injuring myself or others."

You laughed as he winced at his own words. It was endearing to image Namjoon hopelessly trying to put a face on his pumpkin.

"Seriously," he continued. "I barely wanted to get the pumpkin, but it seemed to be the only reason to actually go to a pumpkin patch."

"Well don't forget the impossibly hard maze and the apple cider," you said, smiling wide.

"And the company," he added, looking somehow deeper into your eyes. It made you feel vulnerable in front of him, so you quickly busied yourself with something on your desk to look away.

"Namjoon," Dean said as he approached the academic center. "Sorry, I'm late."

"It's okay," Namjoon said, standing up to greet his boss. "I'm getting used to it."

"Don't say that too loud," Dean laughed, clapping Namjoon on the back. "I'll be out of work if anyone important hears."

Namjoon looked at you as the two of them walked into his office, and you couldn't be sure, but it seemed to say you had heard it and you were important. Then again, Namjoon always had a way of making people feel important. It was probably just your imagination.

"No cats at this house," Namjoon said as you followed Dami into the kitchen.

You found yourself yet again dragged out by your friends to the latest party, this one at a fraternity this time. You were content to stick to their side all night until you finally got the liquid courage to branch out. Now, however, you figured there was someone else you might want to stick with for the night. He had a way of doing that. Of making you want to orbit him like he was the sun.

"Are you calling her a cat?" Dami asked, pushing you lightly behind her back as if she was trying to protect you.

"No," Namjoon quickly said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just meant Mary Jane."

"You want to smoke?" Someone you didn't know spoke up, motioning down the hall. "Brad's room."

"No, the cat," he said, not looking in that guy's direction his focus completely on you.

"I got it," you said laughing and giving him a thumbs up.

Namjoon was like that, he could make a situation that would make you want the ground to open up and swallow you whole seem outright adorable. As he looked back at you, you could almost believe he meant for that confusion to happen. He was so sure of himself; you wished you could be the same.

"I could smoke," Dami said, turning to you and Mia.

"I could sit beside you while you smoke," Mia said with a shrug, turning to you.

"I could not think of anything less inviting," you said, earning a laugh from Namjoon.

"I could take her off your hands," he said to Dami, who raised an eyebrow at him, before giving you the same skeptical look.

"Oh," she said, face breaking into a smile. "That would be so very kind of you, Namjoon," she said, pushing you towards him, causing you to stumble awkwardly.

Namjoon's hands shot up as if he was ready to catch you. You tried not to think about how it made your heart dance.

"We'll meet up with you later," Mia called to you as her and Dami quickly made their way out of the Kitchen and down the hall.

You and Namjoon say nothing, as the party sounds around you, the two of you standing far enough a part to seem like you might not even be talking to each other. Well the distance between you and the sheer lack of talking. It was as if the two of you no longer remembered how to behave like normal humans as soon as your friends disappeared. Maybe you did. Maybe that's why you had wanted to stay with them all night.

"You want to get some air?" Namjoon asked, finally breaking the silence and the tension between the two of you.

There must be some part of your brain dedicated to the silence because you only nod your head in response. Namjoon must not mind, or at least you hope he doesn't, because he smiles in response and motions for you to follow him out the door in the kitchen to the patio behind the house. You're the only two crazy enough to go outside in the chill of the night, but you don't mind it after the absolute furnace that results from a mass of college kids trying to fit in one house.

"I like these parties in theory," Namjoon said, as the two of you sat on the steps of the patio. "The extrovert in me is like 'yay people' and then I get here and realize I don't want to dance, I'm horrible at pong, and talking is nearly impossible."

"I don't even really like them in theory," you said, laughing a little. "But I do want to be a good upstanding member of this college community, and my friends like to go out."

"I kind of figured after I found you breaking and entering," he laughed.

"I cannot be held responsible for what happens when I find a cat," you said, holding your hands up in surrender.

"It's okay," he said, his eyes seeming to reflect the stars as he smiled at you. "I'm glad you broke in to my room."

"See Namjoon," you said, looking away so that you didn't melt right then and there. "It's that type of naivety that's going to allow me to rob you in the near future."

"Go ahead," he said, laughing loudly. "Enjoy the $20 in my bank account."

You shook your head in disbelief as you looked back up at him. "Never mind. Next time I break into your room, I'll leave behind $10. Don't spend it all at once."

"I've tried to convince Jackson that our house should have a philanthropy like all of the fraternities. It's called the Kim Namjoon fund and it will help this poor college boy realize his dreams or finally ordering something other than the value menu at McDonald's."

"Hold your horses," you said, looking at him seriously. "Don't set your sights too high, Namjoon. You only be disappointed when you can't reach them."

Namjoon laughs heartily beside you, just as a strong breeze sends a chill down your spine. You weren't exactly dressed to be spending long periods of time outside.

"Oh my god," he said, taking his bomber jacket off. "My mom would be so ashamed of me," he said holding the jacket out towards you. "Please, put this on."

You consider turning it down, why should he get cold instead of you? But as you look at his long sleeve shirt that he had on under the jacket, you decide you really have no other choice than to take it because a) his mom would be ashamed of him otherwise and b) Cardi B is a liar, hoes absolutely do get cold.

"Thank you so much," you said as you quickly put the jacket on, your body instantly feeling relief as you were covered from the elements.

"Of course," he said, smiling as he leaned back against the patio. "We could also head inside if you want."

"No," you said, a little too quickly. "I like being away from it all."

"Me too," he said, nodding his head as he looked up at the sky. "Do you ever look up at the stars and think about how we're a part of all that?"

"No," you said looking up, "but you're right. How does that make me fell small and important all at once?"

Namjoon chuckled as you felt him turn to look at you. "Just because something is small doesn't mean it isn't important."

"That's what he said," you said, your straight face breaking into a small smile as Namjoon laughed loudly beside you.

"I was making a deep and meaningful statement," he said, smiling widely as you turned to look at him.

"Yeah," you said smiling back. "Just because I made a dick joke doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful? Small dick slander has got to end."

"Rights for small dicks," he agreed, as he turned to look back at the stars, the smile on his face never leaving.

You watched him instead, thinking that you might risk hypothermia just to see the way he examined the world. He was right, you thought. Namjoon might just be one of billions of people in a galaxy bigger than you could ever conceptualize, but he was important. He was like lightening in a bottle, the kind of person that only happened ever so often, and you thought that maybe you were important too, since the universe gave you these moments with him.

You knew just as you admired him admiring the stars that he would be burned in your brain forever. You'd see him on the news someday, having made the world a better place, and you would tell your hypothetical kids, or your hypothetical cats, whichever outcome was more realistic, that you knew him. That one night you got to look at the stars together and consider your place in the universe.

And that you knew none of it really mattered as long as right here and now your place in the universe was right beside him.

Hours later as you and Namjoon catch the bus home, you almost feel your heart missing him already. You don't talk as you sit side by side, but you don't feel the same tension from earlier. You feel at ease beside him, a type of peace that could only come from seeing the stars inside of each other.

And when he asks you if you want to study at the Starbucks on campus the next day, you feel your heart dance with glee at seeing him again. At meeting each other star to star again.

You say yes, because there's really no other option. You wonder if his gravity will ever stop pulling you in. You wonder if you want it to. You know that you don't.

He's a fucking literature student.

It's not fair, he shouldn't be allowed to sit in the cafe with his worn book and coffee, with his glasses slightly fallen down on his nose. But yet, he just gets to do that, sitting across from you with the most insane amount of gravity you've ever experienced in his presence.

You try to focus on your articles, you really do, but you keep having to reread paragraphs as his very existence keeps distracting you.

You think its really unfair that he showed up late, meaning you really had no chance to compose yourself as he just waltzed in with his hair tousled and his oversized denim jacket like has no clue how good he looks.

Your only solace is that you weren't actively drinking your coffee when he sat down or your surely would have choked and embarrassed yourself.

He probably knows the Hiemlich and would have saved your life, causing one of the cute baristas to thank him for saving your life, and they would fall in love and live their perfect life.

You hate this hypothetical barista. You kind of hate Namjoon for making you feel this way. You also most certainly do not.

"Have you ever read a book and just internally screamed at how stupid the characters are being?"

You think that right now you're screaming at yourself for the same thing.

"Yeah," you said, looking up from your article. "I hate when authors make girls act emotionally instead of logically. Like I'm supposed to believe the female leader of a revolution would let her feelings jeopardize the movement?"

"Isn't that just human of her?"

You shrugged, taking a sip of your coffee. "I guess I just have the sort of mentality where if something needs to get done you have to do it. Like if I was in the zombie apocalypse, right? I wouldn't just sit around and hope things worked out. But that's always how female characters are written. The boys go out and fight the zombies and the girls help everyone else remember humanity. And then they die to make the male character realize something."

"That's called fridging," Namjoon said, nodding his head. "It's when a female character only serves the purpose of dying so that the male character avenges her."

"Whatever it's called, it drives me up a wall."

"Me too," he agreed, looking back down at his book.

You each go back to your school work, though Namjoon seems to be fairing better than you. Probably has something to do with the inability to be distracted by himself.

As you reach for your coffee, Namjoon reaches for his own, and for the briefest moment, your hands touch. You quickly move your hand away, and try not to notice the way Namjoon smiles to himself as he goes back to his book.

You spend the rest of your time together wondering what might have happened if you hadn't pulled away. If maybe Namjoon wanted to hold your hand just as badly as you wanted to hold his.

"No," Dami said, as you tried to sneak down the hallway to your room. "Absolutely not. You are going to watch this movie with us."

"Mia," you whined, as your other friend walked by you towards the couch.

"You can leave after the movie," she said, smiling as she sat down by Dami.

"The two of you want me to be perpetually exhausted by social interaction."

"Better to trick you into liking us," Mia said, as you fell back onto the couch beside her.

"It's a deadly loop," you said, resting your head on her shoulder. "I get exhausted from the social interaction you force on me, and then I'm too exhausted to say no the next time."

"And we get to enjoy your presence even more," Mia said, resting her head on top of your's.

"Besides," Dami said, causing you and Mia to turn and look at her. "Namjoon's going to be here," she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

You felt your face heat up as both her and Mia gave you knowing looks. "Stop that now, or I will throw myself into the television."

"Dramatic," Mia said.

"Effective," you replied.

"Please," Dami said, pulling Hulu up. "We're going to watch Corpse Bride and it's going to be great."

"Jackson's really going to think you're dropping hints," Mia said, to which you nodded your head in agreement.

"Who says I'm not?" Dami said, never looking away from the television.

"Oh, it's like that?" Mia said, looking at you with a smile. "I have never felt more single in my life."

"They're so in love it makes me sick," you agreed, earning a small laugh from Dami.

"Then be sick," she said, smiling in a way that let you know she was proud of herself.

"I'm happy for you," Mia said, leaning back into the couch.

"Agreed," you said, copying her movements.

"You better be," Dami said, walking to the kitchen and opening up a pack of microwave popcorn. "You're my friends for Pete's sake."

"Who's Pete? Is he single?" Mia said, laughing at her own joke.

The movie itself was relatively uneventful. You felt at ease with Jackson's apartment, and no one said anything when Namjoon sat near you on the other couch. You were thankful for the space between the two of you and for Mia because it allowed you to remember how normal people were supposed to watch movies.

Though you did find yourself watching Namjoon instead of the movie at times. You tried not to smile too widely when Namjoon mouthed along to the vow scene. You made a mental note to tell him that you had always thought people should say that at weddings instead of the traditional ones. When you had first seen the movie you were struck by how romantic they were. It was exactly how you wanted someone to love you.

To light the way in the darkness of your life. To fill your cup and lift you up.

You wondered if he felt the same way.

When the movie finishes, Dami and Jackson announce that not only is the night not over, but everyone is required to get shit-faced together. You consider taking Mia up on her earlier offer and going to bed, but something about Namjoon pouring himself a beer has you accepting the glass of wine Dami hands you.

Kings. That's what Jackson and Dami finally agree on playing.

"We should all get to know each other better," Dami said, holding your gaze for long enough that you feel the heat return to your face.

"You're just nosey," Mia replied, causing the room to echo with laughter as Dami nodded her head in agreement.

Dami draws the first card and frowns as she reveals that she's pulled a 6. "Sorry ladies," she said as she toasted to you and Mia who took the first drinks of the night.

Mia is the last person to touch the ground three cards later when Mark draws a 4.

You actually find yourself having fun, which is a reminder of why you let yourself be bullied into these things. Dami and Mia usually have your best interest at heart.

You feel your face heat up when Namjoon draws an ace meaning he's in the hot seat and everyone gets to ask him whatever they want. You like to think Dami and Mia wouldn't embarrass you, but you also know there's a chance they do.

"When did you lose your virginity?" Dami asks, right out the gate, causing Mia to howl with laughter.

"We apologize, Namjoon. We can't be held responsible for her," Mia said.

Namjoon laughed lightly, nodding at Mia. "Sixteen," he replied.

"Was it your last girlfriend?" Jackson asked, earning a nod of support from Dami.

"He gets me," she said, resting her head on her boyfriend's shoulder. "We're here for the tea, goddamnit."

"Cruel, but yes," he said, nodding.

Everyone turned to look at you as it became your turn. You felt yourself go wide-eyed at their stares and you hesitantly turned towards Namjoon.

"What's your favorite color?" you asked, earning a groan from Dami and Jackson.

"Boring," Jackson said.

"Too easy," Dami agreed, earning a high-five from her boyfriend.

"I've been liking green lately," he said, smiling at you.

"I'm not as nice," Mark said as he leaned forward for his turn. "Were you really going to marry your ex?"

"You suck," Namjoon said, elbowing Mark.

"You can drink instead," Mia offered.

"No, it's okay," he said, shaking his head. "You know, you could just ask me that normally," he said to Mark.

"Felt too personal before. Especially after what happened."

"What happened?" Dami whispered loudly.

Namjoon laughed sort of low and without humor. "Probably would have married her if she hadn't cheated on me, yeah."

"Why would you bring that up?" Dami said, pointing a finger at Mark. "This is supposed to be fun sex questions not depressing trauma questions."

Namjoon snorted. "Someone ask a fun sex question, quick."

"What's the weirdest place you've had sex?" Mia said quickly.

"My car," he said, smiling. "Not that weird but it's what I have to offer."

"Nice," Mia said, giving Namjoon a fist-bump.

The game continues and just like the last time Mark brought it up, Namjoon seems far away. You hate her, you don't know her, but you hate her. Maybe for what she did, but definitely for the way she keeps stealing him from you without even being there. You wonder how it's possible to miss someone sitting right next to you, but you do. And when he finally returns as Mark breaks the seal on the can of beer in front of you, you can't help but smile.

Namjoon seems pleased that his friend has to chug the cheap beer and you get it.

Your friends decide to turn on the music and have a small party of their own as the alcohol buzzes through your veins. You're watching Mia dance on the coffee table when Namjoon gets up from the couch and heads down the hallway of your apartment. Mia only raises an eyebrow as you stand up as well, following him out of the living room. You find him stood between your bedroom door and the bathroom, leaning back against the wall and scrolling through his phone.

"Are you okay?" you asked, as you approached him.

He smiled as he looked up at you. "Yeah, totally."

"Are you sure? You seemed far away earlier."

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head. "Sometimes I have these thoughts that won't go away, you know? That kind of brought them back, but I'm okay, really."

"So, you're in the hallway because you're totally fine?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "Just wanted a moment of silence, or as close as I could get without literally leaving the apartment."

"Okay," you said, nodding your head as you leaned against the wall with him.

"Thanks for checking on me," he said, pausing for a moment. "It means a lot."

"Of course," you said, looking up at him. "No offense, but I think Mark's a dick."

"He is a dick, but he's also not," he laughed. "That doesn't make sense, but it also makes total sense if you know him."

"I'll take your word for it."

You stand there in silence, thoughts swirling around your head that feel more fluid and ready to spill out of you as the alcohol breaks down the walls in your brain.

"Can I be a dick?" you asked, looking down at your hands.

"Well, if you really put your mind to it," he laughed.

"No, I mean," you shook your head, before looking back up at him. "Can I ask you a question that might be out of line?"

"Sure," he said, giving you a small smile. "At least it isn't in front of a small group of friends who will now pity me for answering it."

"No one pities you."

"So why did you come check on me like a kicked puppy?" he asked. "I'm not mad, I just mean it kind of confirms you feel bad for me. Poor Namjoon his ex-girlfriend cheated on him and he loved her so much."

"Do you still love her?"

"Was that your out-of-line question?"

"Yes."

Namjoon nodded his head, as he looked away from you and up at the ceiling. "Do we ever stop loving people? I don't know, I think I'll always love her. That's what it's like to be alive I suppose."

"I wouldn't know," you said, looking down at your feet.

"It hurts like hell," he said, still looking at you, though you didn't move to meet his gaze. "I wish I could stop loving her, but I can't. Maybe that sounds horrible to you and like you never want to feel that way, but it's worth it. What it felt like to love her and to be loved back by her was worth this pain now."

You nod your head as your friends cheer with glee from the living room. You know it shouldn't, but it hurts to hear him say that. You almost regret asking him if he still loved her, but you also find peace in at least knowing that she still holds a place in his heart.

And as you ponder his words you think he's right, the hurt of knowing she holds a place in his heart while he holds one in your's, hurts like hell, but standing by him in the hallway, yet again being sucked into his gravity, is worth it.

"You know," Namjoon said as the two of you left the library together after your shift. "Fall goes away too quickly."

"Yeah?"

"One moment the leaves are turning bright colors, and the next they're gone and everything's grey."

"That's life," you said, kicking your feet among the leaves as you walk. "There's color and then grey, but one day there will be color again."

"I wish it could always be color," he said, laughing a little. "But everything goes I guess."

The two of you ride the bus together in comfortable silence. You've become to this routine, looking forward to the next time you get to listen to Namjoon theorize about the universe and then just sitting together in the comfort of each other's presence. It's almost enough. It's almost all you want from him. You try to forget the other things you want. The things that seem unrealistic with each passing day.

You get off at your stop with a slight nod to him. This is always your least favorite part. The having to leave him. You've become so used to having him in your life, to having his light shine on you, that you spend the time a part hoping for when you'll see him again.

As you walk to your apartment, you make a mental note of the next time you'll see him at work tomorrow. You wonder if that's what your life has become, moments with Namjoon and moments without. You almost start to pity yourself, the girl hopelessly in love with her friend, when you hear footsteps running towards you.

As you turn around, you nearly jump as you realize Namjoon is running towards you. You can only gawk at him as you stop walking to let him catch up with you.

"Are we color or grey?" he asked, panting a little as he stood before you.

"What?" you asked looking at him with wide eyes.

"You’re my color, am I yours?"

And you think your heart might burst from your chest as the sound of it pounds in your ears. It takes you a moment to make sense of his words. To convince yourself it's not a dream, though it plays out like the ones you've had since meeting him.

"Yes," you said in a small voice, almost as if you're afraid any louder and you'd break the moment.

"Yes?" he repeated, a look of disbelief on his face. "Yes," he said again more certain this time, as he lightly grabbed both sides of your face and pulled you into a kiss. “Be gentle with me,” he breathed.

“Always,” you assured him, pulling him in for another kiss.

And as the leaves fell around the two of you, so could you feel yourself falling.

"Cuffing season," Namjoon muses as he sits next to you on the couch, your legs thrown across his lap. You look up at him with a hum in response.

"Dami captioned this photo of us, 'cuffing season,'" he elaborated, turning the phone towards you.

You and Namjoon have been on a few dates and are 'practically official' as Dami says. Thought neither you nor Namjoon has said such a thing. You don't have an issue with lack of clarification. You're just happy to selfishly soak up all of the time you can with him. To hold his hand at the coffee shop instead of recoiling in fear like before.

There's no need to rush things. Things feel slower in the Fall.

"I've always hated that term," he continued. "I don't want you to feel cuffed to me. I want you to want to be with me."

You think that you could never feel cuffed to him. That being with him is a dream you thought might never be realized.

"I do," you assured him, setting your book down in your lap. "You know that right?"

"Sometimes my brain does this fun thing," he said, laughing a little. "Where it convinces me nothing good could ever happen to me, so this must not be real."

You don't have to ask. You know it's the same reason he looks far away sometimes.

"It's real," you said, grabbing his hand in yours and caressing it lightly.

He looked down at where your hands connected, sighing softly. "I'm falling for you," he said, his gaze serious. "Pun intended."

"Falling Season would have been a better caption," you reply laughing as you move to kiss his cheek.

"So you're falling for me too," he asked, smiling.

"Helplessly," you responded, moving so that you straddled his lap.

"Perfect," he said, before leaning in and kissing you.

You and Namjoon seemingly cannot keep your hands off of each other, and the rate from which kissing Namjoon turns into the two of you groping each other and frantically ripping each other's clothes off is the proof of it.

It happens like this every time, one kiss turns into you grinding your hips into his, turns into his hands gripping tightly at your ass, which turns to you pulling yourself as close to him as possible.

You kiss him like you want to lose yourself in him, because you think you do. You think if it was possible for two bodies to literally become one, you would want to meld with him, but instead you settle for the figurative combination instead, throwing your head back in delight as he begins kissing down your neck, a smile on his lips as he presses a kiss to the space between your breasts.

His hands find their way under the dress you're wearing, and in one movement they work your dress over your head, your arms leaving him only long enough to take it off.

"Wait," Namjoon said, as your hands played with the hem of his shirt. "We're in your fucking living room," he laughed, his head falling against your chest. He places another kiss between your breasts, before lightly patting your ass to get up.

"Room now," he said, as you stood up.

"Sir, yes sir," you said, earning a serious look from him.

"More of a daddy guy myself," he said as he followed you to your room.

"No, you are not," you said, turning to him with wide eyes as he set the door behind him.

"What's the matter, baby girl?" he said, smiling as he moved you towards the bed. "Tell daddy what's wrong?"

"You're really into that?" you asked again, as he pushed your shoulder lightly so that you were sitting on the edge of your bed.

"I'm really into that..." he said, looking at you expectantly.

You stared back at him, confused until you realized what he was going for.

"You're really into that, daddy?" you asked, causing him to smile widely.

"You'll be the death of me," he said, leaning down to kiss you.

"Daddy?" you said, finding it not as foreign on your lips as you had expected.

He hummed in response, leaning in to kiss you again.

"Don't you think I've been a good girl?" you asked, potentially as surprised with yourself as Namjoon looks at your question. "Don't you think I deserve a reward?"

"I should have known you'd use it against me," he laughed before kissing you on the forehead. "But you have been a good girl," he said. "The best girl."

"Your best girl," you echoed, shameless, spreading your legs for him to stand between them.

"My only girl," he said, looking you deep into your soul as if to answer the question that hung unanswered between the two of you.

"A girl only has one daddy," you said, to which Namjoon shook his head.

"Don't be heteronormative, _____."

"Hey," you said, pushing him back as he tried to kiss you again. "I'm trying to do this for you, don't woke my daddy speak."

"You're daddy speak?" he laughed.

"It's your kink," you said, as he motioned for you to move further onto the bed. "If you really want to be woke about this, call me mommy," you said, settling against your head board.

"Absolutely not," he said taking his shirt off. "Do you want me to call you mommy?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I kind of hate it."

"Do you hate calling me daddy?" he asked as he stepped out of his pants.

"No," you said as he got on the bed and positioned himself above you. "I like that you like when I say it."

"I like you," he said, kissing you again.

"I like you too," you said as he kissed his way down your body.

"You're good for me," he said, his fingers running under the band of your panties. "Good to me."

"You're good for me too," you agreed, as he kissed your clit over your underwear. "Fuck, that's good for me too," you said.

"Good girls don't curse," he said, looking up at you.

"Namjoon," you said, earning a raised eyebrow. "Daddy," you corrected.

"Yes?" he said, pulling your underwear off of you.

"I can't be blamed for the way you make me feel."

"I make you feel like cursing?" he chuckled.

"Yes," you said, as he softly ran a finger up your slit. "So good, I have no choice but to curse."

"Try harder," he said. "You're a good girl, right?"

"Yes, daddy," you said, causing him to smile wickedly at you.

"Good," he said, replacing his finger with his tongue as he began rewarding you.

"You're playing dirty," you said, instead of the curses that wanted to fall from your mouth as he sucked at your clit.

"Should I stop?" he asked, looking up at you and winking.

"No, please don't stop," you said, running your fingers through his hair. "Daddy," you added once you realized he was waiting to hear that.

"You can handle it," he smile, before licking your core again.

As his tongue lapped circles at your clit, he pressed one finger inside of you, smiling up at you as a moan left your lips.

By the time he added a second finger, you could feel your high approaching, the waves of you euphoria crashing over you as he once again sucked your clit into his mouth.

"Best girl," he said, as he moved up your body and kissed you passionately.

The two of you became a mess of limbs as your lips danced together and as Namjoon pulled away to put on a condom, you couldn't help but smile widely at him.

"What?" he asked, laughing a little.

"I really like you," you said, earning a kiss from him.

"I already told you I'm falling for you, baby girl," he said pressing a kiss to your nose as well.

"I like hearing you say it though."

"Then I won't stop," he said, running his cock along your folds.

"Daddy," you said, earning another wicked grin. "don't tease."

"Whatever you say," he said, sinking into you with a low groan.

"Fuck," you said, causing Namjoon to raise an eyebrow.

"That won't do," he said, pulling out of you. "Hands and knees, now."

"Yes, daddy," you said, quickly moving to your position.

His large hands rubbed soothing circles into your ass, and before you could truly process what would happen, his right came down hard against you.

"Fuck," you said, your back arching at the pleasure that came with the pain.

"Again?" he asked, rubbing another circle of where he had just spanked you. "Maybe this one will get the message across?"

This time as he slapped you, you held back the curse that wanted to fall from your lips, your pussy clenching as the pain seemed to travel straight to it.

"That's better," he said, leaning down to kiss the afflicted area. "What do you think? Do you need one more?"

"I'll be good, daddy," you said, your core aching to be filled by him.

"I know you will, baby," he said, running his cock along your folds again.

And as he sank into you, your hips move back to take him all in. You were greedy for him and you weren't ashamed of it. Everything about him made you feel good and you couldn't get enough.

"You always feel so good," he said rocking into you. "Like your pussy was made for me."

"It was," you agreed, a moan falling from your lips as well.

"Always so good to me," he said, breathing heavily as he set a rough pace.

Your words turned into moans as the two of you chased your highs. Namjoon's hand moved beneath you, to rub at your clit as he announced his own released was approaching.

"Come on," he said, slapping at your ass again. "Be a good girl and cum for daddy."

"Namjoon," you said, you face falling into your pillows as you felt the cord in your abdomen grow tighter. "Don't stop, please."

"Anything for you," he said, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as he angled himself deeper into you.

You moaned his name again as you felt yourself unravel, your head spinning as you came again, the two of you moaning loudly as he came moments later.

He kissed every inch of your body near him as the two of you came down from your highs. And as the both of your fell deep into your bed, you found his gravity once again as he pulled you into him, the two of you lying on your sides facing each other.

He seemed to glow as you watched him break into a wide smile.

"I swear to God," you heard Mia yell moments later as the two of you just lie in the silence together. "Dami or _____, whichever one of you is stripping in the living room, if you fucked on this couch I will murder you."

"Looks like I saved your life," Namjoon laughed as you buried your face in his neck out of embarrassment.

As he pulled you into a kiss, the room seemed to fill with color, even as the world outside was cold and grey. You weren't naive enough to think it would always be this way, to think that you'd never have bad days with Namjoon. But you hoped there would be more color than grey. That the winter of your relationship would always be the shortest. As he kissed you again and again you were crazy enough to hope for it forever.

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