#wine aunt fr

[mysticalcats]

*grabby hands* foxglove… content… pls…?

this ask made me so happy....thank you for asking about my funny guy!!

[monster-mash-m]

Past my limit

Halsin x Afab!Reader

MDNI

Urggggg I can’t get this big beefy man off my mind it’s actually a problem.

Cw: smut with oh so very little plot, size difference, Afab reader, words like ‘pretty’ and ‘beautiful’ to describe reader, gn reader, pinning, growling, spoilers for act 3, Halsin is at his limit, p in v sex, creampie, biting, established relationship, grinding.

Lemme know if I missed any!

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It was a cool night in the camp. Everyone was surrounding the campfire, bantering and telling their little stories of the day to one another. You telling Gale and shadowheart about how you got turned into a wheel of cheese at the circus. Of course they laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

You continued to talk and listen in turn, that was until your hairs stood on end, you felt hungry eyes on you. Your skin rose in goosebumps as you turned your head in the direction of the feeling of the demanding stare, and who it belonged to. Halsin. Is eyes trained on you like a predator ready to pounce, his whole body tense, the veins in his arms bulged as he restrained himself.

You smirked and quickly looked away. You and halsin had a little… bet at the moment. You and him were the camps official pda couple and you somehow made a little bet with each other. On who could last the longest without any sexy time. And my, you have not made it easy for the Druid.

Accidentally stopping abruptly infront of him when he’s following behind you, getting him to press up against you. Or timing your bathing time so when he goes to bathe, you’re out of the river putting on a show of drying yourself off. Or how you licked the honey from your hands a few days ago, making intense eye contact with him. All of this, it was driving him crazy that he couldn’t touch you. He started looking like a mad man, not to mention how irritable he had become to others.

So now you’re sat at the fire with a smug grin. Astarion ever the prying type lets out his typical wine aunt laugh “Tav dear, what are you doing to the poor Druid? He looks like he’s about to explode.” You snicker and smirk back “oh I bet he is.” You make eye contact with halsin licking your teeth as you look down to his lips. His eye twitched. Wyll rolled his eyes and Gale let out a scoff at the whole scene, the less open people at the camp.

You stand up “Hm, I think I shall have a walk in the woods, would anyone like to join me-“ before you could even finish Halsin was on his feet and looming next to you “I shall accompany you my heart…” he gruffed out. Everyone giving eachother knowing glances as Halsin practically drags you to your usual…. Fun spot.

You grunt with a grin as he presses you against a tree, his large hands firmly on your squishy hips. “My heart…” his voice strained and full of need. He pressed against you, gods he was already rock solid. He subconsciously began to grind against you, “you’ve pushed me to my limit… every waking moment I’ve wanted to devour you, claim you infront of all our friends… you’re a little minx…” he groaned out with a tattered breath.

“Awh seems like my big Druid can’t stand a little teasing?” You let out a condescending coo with a pout to tease him, push him further. His eyes glowed that dangerous yellow as he let out a low growl that rumbled in his chest “You play dangerous games my dear…”

“Do I?” You purr as you begin to tug on his trousers. “What prizes do I get for playing such games?” One of your hands sneaks down to palm his straining cock before pulling his hot cock out. He shuddered and practically ripped your clothes off, it’s fine I’m sure he’ll get you some more sometime. “You win the inability to walk tomorrow.” He whispered as his eyes glazed over as his growling eyes traced your body. “And I get the prize of taking my hearts cunt.” He chuckled cockily.

He dives into you neck and begins to kiss and suck, missing your scent, your taste, the way your skin melds with his so perfectly. He grunted as he hoisted you up, making you wrap your legs around his firm but soft hips. You gasp, feeling his pre dripping cock slide between your ass cheeks. He resisted the urge to thrust as his hands gripped onto you greedily.

He pulled away with a smirk as he admired the myriad of hickeys on your neck and collar bone “mh… nod isn’t this better my heart?” You nod with a love struck face “Halsin please… I know I’ve managed to stay calm but… gods I miss you… your fat cock, I want you to fuck me. Hard, and now.” You gaze up at him, your words making his heavy cock twitch. “Yes my heart, what kind of partner would I be to not oblige?”

He carried you to a soft patch of grass and laid you down, hovering on top of you. His one of his hands instantly trails to your wet cunt “Mh, I’m glad to see the feeling is mutual…” he chuckled to himself as he sunk a finger into your fluttering cunt slowly. His breath hitches as yours does, he bites his lip as he watches his finger disappear. “Oak father guide me… I can’t hold back much longer, if I do… I might truly lose myself…” he muttered.

The man was impatient, he needed to be inside of you like now. Only problem was, he won’t fuck you until he knows you’re stretched enough to take his thick cock. He grunted impatiently as he grabbed your hips and pulled them upwards until your head was inbetween his thighs, his cock resting against your neck and cheek. Your back pressed against his chest and legs on his shoulders “Ah Halsin wha-Ahh-“ you gasp out before you could ask him what the fuck he was doing.

His thick tongue licked a slow stripe up your glistening cunt. He groaned at the taste “sweeter than the finest fruits nature has to offer my heart…” he growled before digging in. He resumed his fingering, slowly adding more and more until he was 4 fingers deep. All while his lips were wrapped around your clit with eagerness, sucking and licking with urgency.

Your body tensed as wave after wave of warmth built up in your abdomen as Halsin brought you closer and closer to the brink. He was practiced, he knew where and when to poke and prod at your sensitive slit. You noticed quite a large amount of pre smudging against your cheek. “Halsin- please-“ you pleaded. He looked up from his meal. “Need you in me now, fuck me full of your cum.” With that he froze. His eyes narrowing as he let out a low as fuck growl. He pulled away from your dripping cunt licking your juices of his lips “yes my heart.”

He immediately complies as he lays you down again gon your back. Not wiping away the pre on your cheek since he had more important matters to attend to. He immediately lined the angry red mushroom tip of his cock up with your excited entrance. “Brace yourself my love.” He hummed out gruffly as he groaned, slowly pushing his pre covered tip in.

“Oh gods… my heart your cunt is always so tight for me…” he huffs out as he isn’t even half way in. You let out a shaky moan at the feeling of being stretched out by his second leg. “Fuck halsin… I swear you’ve gotten bigger…” he lets out another breathless chuckle as he slowly stuffs you full. He grunted after he’s finally bottomed out in you. Waiting for a moment or two for you to adjust to his fat cock.

Soon after you begin to squirm “Halsin… fuck- hurry up and ravage me already.” You hiss out demandingly. He just laughed again at your demanding tone “I’m just making sure I don’t actually break you my heart.”

Soon he begins to move his hips slowly, it was clear it was hard for him to hold back, sweat rolled down his hairy chest as he gazed at you intensely. You keened out at feeling his heavy girth drag against your clenching walls as he moved in and out slowly. “I’m going to go faster now my heart…” he whispered lowly. You only able to respond in a nod as he began to pick up the pace.

Soon not after he’s ramming into your cunt like a feral beast, he has your legs pressed against your chest as he hits every deep spongy spot in you. Making you mewl his name as you scratch his back. His heavy breeder balls slapped against your ass as his hips went at a rapid pace. His muscles tense in delight everytime he heard a lewd squelch of your cunt being stuffed. “Halsin- I’m close- fuck” you groan out throwing your head back as he bullied his cock in and out of your pussy,

His own thrusts becoming sloppy and erratic as he got closer to his own climax “my heart… fuck-“ he swore out in bliss as his abdomen contracted, along with yours. You both let out whorish noises in unison as you gush around his cock, your walls spasming, sending him over the edge. His leaking cock trembled before his hot load shot into you instantly. He grunted and began to slow his hips “Silvanas really blessed me with such a beautiful partner…” he gasped out as he gulped in air to catch his breath.

You hum and smile goofily “gods I needed that good fuck .” He once again chuckled, pulling out, his seed oozing out of your used cunt. “That’s it my heart… “ he hummed gently as he finally pulled all the way out. “You lost.” You say with a cheeky smirk, making him roll his eyes.

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Urg love me that man.

Hope y’lot enjoyyyy

[silacynthia]

Happy Birthday, Red!!

I don’t have a crossword this time but I do have some art

[living-la-vida-lesbian]

steph is damian's mini wine aunt

[ghostlyboysstories]

One of my ocs is so feral. The boy literally has a tendency to rip training dummies apart for fun and partake in underage drinking on an almost nightly basis. His excuse you ask?

“I have to put up with you heathens so I should get a nightly reward hence the wine bottle in my hand. Blaze, be a doll and hand me that shot of tequila. I have a feeling I’m going to need it tonight.”

He is like the sassy, wine aunt that talks shit about everyone, but also he’s absolutely feral and it shows.

(Yes, this is Ryn. The one that showed up in my tags a little while ago.)

[luxaaj]

yaldabaoth is like that weird aunt that only comes to family reunions once every 3 years and the only thing she knows about you is that you like art.

and mekhane is the only extended family member that you actually keep in touch with since they’re the only one who understands technology.

SO REAL HELP

[queenof-curses]

req: omg no bc imagine ur at a family cookout w ur bf (toji) and it’s like his first time meeting ur family, it’s summer time (sundress szn 🌚), and the dress ur wearing is just doing it for him fr and y’all fuck in the bathroom or smthing 😭

Hi Anon! Let's ignore the fact that I finally finished this request MONTHS later 😅Anyways... Here it is!

Meeting the Family

Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Summary: You bring Toji over to meet the family. What happens when his mind can't stop wandering to the fact that you decided to wear the prettiest little sundress that he's ever seen?

Notes: Toji is in his early 40's and reader is meant to be in her mid to late 20's!

Tags: MINORS DNI!!!!! Explicit in all ways, dirty talk, age gap, breeding(?), oral (fem rec.), PinV, unprotected s*x, Daddy K!nk.

Word count: 2.1k (I kind of went crazy with this one)

--

He knew what your family truly thought of him.

He could see it- the judgmental eyes masked by a tight smile. Your mothers kind words that were somehow tight lipped… he knew exactly what they thought of him. 

Toji, a man pushing 40- dating you. You, who was so young and full of life. You had dreams and aspirations; Toji had a divorce. He could tell the age gap was going to be a problem as soon as he walked into this family BBQ. 

You however, were completely blind to it. If you knew what was going on, or could read the uncomfortable vibe at the party, he could not tell. And he loved you all the more for that. Toji had decided that if it did not bother you, that he wouldn’t let it show that it bothered him. 

It was the least he could do. After all, the longer he spent at this family outing, the longer he could stare at the little sundress that you decided to wear today. 

God- you were so fucking hot, he thought. The pink and orange patterns on the dress made you look as beautiful as the sunset. It made his mouth water as he eyed the way your tits were pushed up by the bodice of the dress, the straps thin enough to tease the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra. 

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. 

“What was that babe?” You turned to look at him, currently standing next to you as you both filled your plates with food. 

He coughed to cover, but all it did was earn your suspicious eye. “Nothing babe, food looks good.” was his excuse. 

“Mhmm..” you said before returning to your conversation with a cousin. 

Toji shifted his weight from side to side, pretending to listen to your aunt rant about her latest cruise excursion. He couldn't give less of a shit, and ended up letting his mind wander back to your outfit choice of the night… 

–

About two hours passed, your meals finished long ago and the entire family sat gathered around the bonfire out in the backyard. Dad rock blasted over the speakers, almost loud enough that conversation had to be shouted to one another. Activities were just getting started, and the crowd seemed to be livelier than ever.

“We’re drinkers on this side of the family,” you lean in and tell him. You noticed his hesitation to grab a third beer earlier, knowing deep down that your family would think he was weird if he HADN’T drank. 

His scar stretched across his lips as he smirked down at you. “Oh yeah?” he taunted. “Think I can out drink any of these old geezers?” 

You laugh at this comment, “Babe I hate to break it to you- but YOU are an old geezer.” Your hand finds his chest, patting him over his black shirt. 

Toji scoffs before commenting, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Old? Nah- you wouldn’t let some old geezer bend you over the kitchen table last night while you cried ‘Daddy! Daddy!’ huh?”

“Toji!” You cry out, punching him in the arm. “Anyone could’ve heard you…” 

He chuckles, “Not a chance Sweetheart, look around… everyone is wasted.” 

His comment makes you laugh. It was true- your family wasn’t well off, but they sure knew how to party. 

It was then your mother noticed the two of you laughing, the white wine making her feel confident to approach you. 

“OH HONEY!” she cries, loud enough to wake the neighbors. “Why don’t you give Toji a tour of the house! I’m sure he’ll LOVE seeing your cute little baby pictures…” 

“Mom- please st-”

“I’d love to have a tour!” Toji interrupts, his grin stretching from ear to ear. “I’m sure my girl was just as precious as she is now.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you, an action unnoticed by your intoxicated mother. 

“Yeah, yeah- I’ll give him the grand tour…” You take his hand in yours, dragging the much larger man back towards the house as your mother waved you off. 

–

His eyes were glued to your ass as you led him throughout the house. It wasn’t a long tour, but by the time you two made it to the second floor his jaw was practically on the floor. Watching you climb up the stairs in that little sundress had his cock hard and his balls achy. 

At a certain point, Toji accepted defeat at the fact that  he couldn’t wait until the two of you got home. Who knows how long you wanted to stay. Was he really about to risk getting caught by your family? 

One more look at the way your breasts swelled inside the dress determined his answer.

Of fucking course I’m gonna risk it, he thought. 

He waited until the right moment; you were showing him the bedroom you grew up in. Thankfully, he was able to lock the door after you walked in without you noticing. 

“You got a private bathroom in your room? Damn- you sure you aren’t loaded?” He teased you, walking towards the large doorway. 

“It isn’t much Toji,” you tell him, rolling your eyes and following close behind. 

What you didn’t expect is for him to pull you completely into the bathroom, shutting the door and shoving your body against it. He locked your hands behind your back, making you unable to move against him as your face pressed into the cool wood. 

You could feel it there- his hard on rubbing against your behind, his hips slowly hiking up the skirt of your dress inch by inch as he rutted against you. Your chest heaved, the surprising situation turning you on immediately. So what do you do? Well, you decide to taunt the beast…

“What? Couldn’t make it home, Daddy?” You ask as you push your ass against his front, rubbing yourself up and down his clothed shaft. The grin on your face was similar to that of a cat, and it made him want to corrupt you all the more. 

“Don’t even fucking tease me, Sweetheart- I’m harder than a rock and ready to tear that little dress off your tight body.” He groaned into your ear. 

Using his free hand he pushed your hair to the side, exposing your neck and immediately bringing his mouth to your heated skin, leaving a trail of love bites towards your ear. He moaned into you, soaking in the scent of bonfire and arousal as he shifted himself behind you even more. 

You couldn’t move your hands, wanting to touch him just as much as he was touching you. 

“Toji I-“ you start, but he was quick to cut you off.

“Shhh sweetheart, let me take care of you.” 

He kept his grip tight on your hands, forcing you in place as he kneeled behind you. “That’s right princess, keep your ass out just like that.” 

Quick to shove the fabric of your dress up, he hikes the hem above your ass and uses your restrained hands to hold it in place. Not waiting any longer, Toji didn’t even admire your panty choice before tearing it down to your knees and sinking his face into your cunt. 

“Oh- god!” You cry out, pushing the softness of your behind further into his face. You could feel the way his tongue worked your folds, spit mixing with your arousal as he shoved himself into your opening.

He removes himself briefly, but only to tell you how delicious you tasted. “You’re my favorite flavor sweetheart.” Before diving back in.

Toji used the thumb of his freehand, quickly finding your little button and softly tapping it as he devoured you whole. The quick licks and twirling of your clit was quickly going to send you over as your back arched into his touch. 

“Daddy- fuuuuuuuuck, I-I’m gonna cum!” You warn him.

“Do it princess- do it on my fucking face.” He goads you, wanting to taste your sweet release. 

It wasn’t long before his tongue prodded your cunt just right as you cum hard on face, whimpering as he kitten licks the mess you’ve made on yourself. Stars danced across your vision as your orgasm rips through you, blanketing you in bliss as he massages the fat of your ass. 

“Fuuuuuck!” You cry out, attempting to move away from his touch, but his iron grip keeps you in place.

“Ah- that’s my girl, so fucking beautiful…” 

You take in his words as you slump further into the back of the door, your mind spinning as you try to wrap around the fact that your family was just outside the house… 

“Mmm Toji…. Don’t you think we should be more careful- oh!!” 

Your words cut off quickly as you feel the blunt tip of his cock rub your wet folds. In your haze, you hadn’t heard him unbuckle his pants, but as your neck craned to peak back at him- you look back at the monster you created. 

Toji was beyond disheveled… his face was heated and his eyes were feral as his gaze bore into your own. He didn’t even take his pants off all the way, but just pulled out his member that he currently fisted behind you. 

His cock was hard, the tip leaking precum as he ran the head up and down your puffy folds. You knew at that point there was no convincing the man otherwise- he was going to fuck you with reckless abandon.

One whimper slipping from your lips is all it took, as the older man buried himself deep into your cunt in one swift motion. His heavy balls slapped your swollen clit as he set a hard and fast pace. 

You cried out at the intrusion, and Toji was quick to remove his hands from your back and bring one to your mouth. Your muffled cries quickly filled his palm as you screamed at the sheer girth of his length. His other rested on the swell of your hip, squeezing tight and no doubt leaving bruises in the shape of his fingertips. 

“Fuck princesss- you’re so goddamn pretty in that little fucking dress, it makes me want to fuck you up, put a little baby inside you. Everyone will know- you’re fucking mine.” 

His words were as unhinged as the thrusts of his hips. He cock filled you deliciously, the thickness of him stretching you wide as he slammed into you repeatedly. 

Toji rocked against your body, forcing you to bring your hands up to brace yourself for his movements. 

“Fuck- Daddy, you feel so fucking amazing…” you tell him, only making his groan deep into your ear. 

He was erratic, fucking you as if his life depended on it. Beads of sweat dripped from his temple as he focused on the only thing he could think of: filling you up. 

“Want me to cum in ya, baby? I’ll fill you up real nice- fuck a baby into your sweet cunt.” 

He was filthy; but you’ll damned if that didn’t turn you on more. He grinned as he felt the way your cunt clenched tight at his words. 

“Oh? You like that baby? Then I’ll fuck you up real nice…” He said between thrusts.

“Ohhh, please- yes!” You cried, practically begging him to finish inside. 

The angle of his hips hit just right, your second orgasm hitting you like a freight train as you squeeze the girth of his cock tight. 

“Fuuuuuck- that’s it, such a good girl- milk my cock Princess.” 

You rock your hips against him more, and with one final thrust, Toji buries himself balls deep inside of you. You can practically feel him in your womb as he empties his load into you- the heat of his filling you up deep within, it makes you cry tears of  bliss as he stills inside of you. 

“Shhhh, it’s okay baby- I got you.” He says as he pulls out. “Daddy’s got you…”

Toji was quick to catch your tired body before you collapsed. He brought the two of you to the bathroom floor, shifting you so that he was sitting against the door with your body cradled within his. 

Both of you were sweaty, covered in slick and cum, and currently catching your breaths. You look up at him and lock eyes, both of you sharing a huffed laugh as you process what just happened. 

“I hope they haven't noticed how long we’ve been gone…” he tells you, reaching out to swipe away your smeared mascara with a thumb.

You smile before answering. “Nah… mom was wasted before we even came up here.” 

As if on cue you hear cheers from the yard just beyond the bathroom window. 

“Who wants s’mores?!!!” Your mom screams.

And you both laugh. 

Thank you for reading! All notes/reblogs/comments/likes are appreciated besties!!!

[dahfloofysmol]

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

[mikeluciraphgabe]

This disaster lineage is so silly when you break it down

A goblin who Fucks and runs this bitch before going completely off the rails and moving to the middle of nowhere

^ that one’s son padawan who decided that his dad master’s rules we’re stupid - left - and became a wine aunt who is deranged but in a lowkey way

^ that one’s son padawan turned pothead that takes his own son padawan out to fight for ‘enrichment’

^ his dad master traumatized him and made him a whore, slut, booty call if you will as a result

Anakin

Anakin’s first daughter padawan who is a sweetheart - never done anything wrong ever and will stare at her enemies in the eyes before doing the most unnecessary and unexpected move

The ‘last’ Jedi who doesn’t even know how to do the most basic move with a saber - meditates while doing a handstand AND is a Twink (oh and Anakin’s illegal bio-son)

^ that one’s twin sister who is lowkey the most chill but is also Unhinged (don’t take the calm exterior seriously - she’s fucking crazy) (Anakin’s illegal bio-daughter)

The twink’s first ever padawan who is his great-great-great-great grandfather master’s bio-son but then decides that ‘nah this ain’t me fr’ and goes to live with a mandolorian for a couple of years

Boy who is going through a phase evil but falls in love with Anakin’s groomer’s granddaughter and acts like he doesn’t care for her when he Very Much Does (Anakin’s illegal bio-daughter’s son)

[inthemiddle0feverywhere]

Bad Batch Season 3 Episode 5 (scattered) thoughts and first impressions (ramblings)

Major spoilers under the cut

This one is also very long because mannnnnnn did I love this episode and omg do I have big feelings about it

Also yes I do love each member of tbb but in case it’s not obvious I’m a crosshair girlie. Have been since I first heard his voice in season 7 of tcw so this is gonna be very crosshair centric (because he finally has screen time and more than like 2 speaking lines this season!!)

Lula! 🥰🥰

Is Omega in a supply closet? Whatever better than her barren room at the lab

Ah nope her old “room” the gun turret 🥰🥰

A glimpse of mornings on board the marauder: peaceful boys and caf 🥹 probably only peaceful again now that omega is home

This is Omega’s best look omg the the crocheted vest??? I wanna cosplay her now or actually just wear this outfit fr

At first I was so annoyed they kept crosshair in this ugly ass outfit but I honestly think it’s because even though it’s warm on Pabu he’s always cold because he’s so skinny now (well he always was lean but this is a testament to how much weight he lost as a prisoner) They keep trying to feed him fruit and my man keeps using it as target practice 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I honestly love when they show scenes through like either a scope or helmet visor. Like I really love seeing what they’re seeing. In this case AZI (so happy they took him from Cids bar- sorry “parlor”….it was a dive bar)

He’s so mad at his hand 😭 my poor baby he really should let AZI look at it. What do we think it is? Nerve damage? I imagine it feels tingly like when your foot falls asleep.

I love that Batcher loves him!! Animals know good people. He’s a good man Savannah! 😭😭😭 and he likes Batcher too and anyone that’s kind to animals is ok by me.

Ugh Crosshair teaching Omega about being a sniper 🥰🥰😭🥰😭🥰 one day she’s just gonna pop out with a sick trick shot lmao

Shouldn’t have given him his rifle??? Sir it’s an extension of him, it’s like you gave him back one of his body parts

“Omega trusts him and that’s good enough for me” Wrecker!!! My sweet boy!! Big man and even bigger heart. He’s now kinda caught in the middle he wants to be cool with Crosshair again but doesn’t want to betray Hunter they’ve been through a lot just the 2 of them these past several months. Crosshair and Hunter are like parents in the middle of a divorce 😭

53%???? Fuckkkkkkk way worse than we thought

Echo!!!!! Yay mom came home!

“No hug for me” screaming crying throwing up! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 💔💔💔💔he’s disguising it as sarcasm but he wants it, he wants a hug! SOMEBODY HUG HIM DAMMIT! I volunteer!!! Please

Omega between her 2 dads 🥰 (Though is Crosshair more wine aunt vibes sometimes?) And batcher by Crosshair’s feet of course

Yummmmm I bet Pabu has banging sushi 🍣 Love Wrecker being an unbothered king enjoying his sush🥰

😭😭😭😭😭 Crosshair’s face when Echo mentioned Tech. He knows. He knows he fell or perished (shh no 🤡) trying to save him. They’re twins and he lost his other half and I’m devastated!! 😭

Haaaaa welcome to parenting a teenager Hunter!!!

Are Hunter’s eyes green all of a sudden?

Crosshair being the voice of reason?? I love seeing this side of him. I HC that since he is silent and highly observant he was a voice reason often for the batch. (Can we please get a series of TBB during the clone wars?? Or like when they were cadets or something. We only see them in 4 episodes in tcw and they were just an insane suicide squad who hated regs and didn’t follow orders or have anyone in charge of them like I wanna see their adventures and their dynamic and how they are when they have downtime! Please lucasfilmmmmmm 🙇‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️)

“I’m older than you are, little brother” 😂😂😂 and she got crosshair to chuckle lol ugh I love their dynamic so much. They are really feeding us rn (please don’t take it away)

Omg he’s so brave bringing them back there! To that freaking ice planet where nothing but trauma happened for Crosshair. I know he probably wished he would never have to go back there again but he knows this will help so he goes anyway

The old armor!!!! Helllllll frickinnnn yeaaaaaa (he’s so hot in armor omg I have a headache)

“Take a guesssssss” 🥵

“He started it” 😂😂 major youngest sibling energy

Mayday’s helmet! 💔💔💔💔 somebody sedate me!! 😭

Why can’t Hunter sense the Wyrm?

TOOTHPICK!!! Wrecker defo kept his toothpicks in the armor case 🥰

Frickin ice vulture always an omen. (Animals seem to really like Crosshair though even the scary ones)

“I know you” 😭 I know Hunter meant it in a “I know you’re sneaky and closed off and I’m expecting the worst from you right now ” but it just hit me harder than that. “I know you”- you’re my brother, the youngest I’ve known you since the day you were born. “I know you- I know there’s more to your silence I know your still waters run way deeper than you let on.” “I’m your brother- I know you talk to me I know you”❤️‍🩹

Oh shitttttt thems are fightin words yes let it out everyone

“I’ll do it! 😁” Wreckerrrr I love you

Hunter’s fast af boi!

Batcher is actually ripped af 💪

Ok petition that Cross doesn’t yell anymore it doesn’t suit him at all lmaoooo

Poor Wrecker yes it’s always ALWAYS a huge monster 😭

“Fantastic” 😂😂😂

Omg this is a roller coaster of emotions! Crosshair being soft with Batcher, the nodding! Ugh nothing like fending off a giant ice wyrm to bring bros back together

He’s so pretty shut up I know his head is shaped like a lightbulb

AAHH THERES THE HUG 🥰

progress 😌

“I thought I was being a good soldier 😔” * *pterodactyl screeching *

Welp Im deceased, fed and nurtured but dead at the same time.

Thank you thank you thank you for these past few episodes. Us Crosshair girlies were really in pain seasons 1 and 2

[notactually-nugg]

BRO WTF SEASON 4

- DREAM BOI BACK

- THE ARCHIVIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRO YOUR THE HEAD ARCHIVIST IF THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE LONDON

- 6 GOD DAMN MONTHS DAMN

- BRO DAISY IS ALSO GONE WTF

- Jon waking up after a 6 month coma: statement of-

- Melanie- girl good?

- The fact that we the audience are the eye is really cool

- Jon trying to get martins attention is adorable

- Whenever Jon uses his powers the tape distorts fuck I love the details

- Martin talking to the tape recorder like it’s a pet. Me: hehehheheheh hi Martin

- Ok listen I love Daisy as much as the next person but BRING BACK TIM I MISS THE DRUNK WINE AUNT ENERGY HE BROUGHT

- Heheheh ribs

- DAISY!!!!! SHES ALIVEEEE

- Poor Daisy

- DAISY’S BACK

- Ooooo the extinctionnnn

- “Like a grubby Jesus” lmao Peter is kinda a vibe

- Gertrude is a little shit

- I love how Jon is out here saying the lonely is the most dangerous and I’m here like oooooo you sadge cause you can’t see your boyyyyyfrieeennnnds

- “Having a statement” mmmm nom nom

- SIMON FUCKING FAIRCHILD

- Jon going to Martin

- Statement time? No Dinner time

- “I have to kill others to sustain my life…welp time to kill a newborn”

- Melanie is an icon

- The way Martin talks to the tapes reminds me of how people talk to their pets

- Melanie and Georgie is cute af

- ELIAS IS JONAH MAGNUS

- DAISY A WEREWOLF

- MARTIN IS CARRYING

- MARTIN AND JON MY SWEET BOIS

- MARTIN PLZ YOU SWEET BOI GO BACK WITH JON

- “Even the fear is gentle here” “I really loved you yknow?” FUCK HES ME FR FR

- FUCK YEAH JON!!!

- Peters ritual got stopped cause Gertrude got him cancelled lmao

- “I see you Jon” SOBBINF SOBBINF AND CRYING HELO NCNDNSNJA

- DOMESTIC JON AND MARTIN DOMESTIC JON AN MARTIN

- FUCK OFF MAGNUS I WANT MY DOMESTIC BOIS

- GERTRUDE DOING ALL THIS FOR HER CAT IS FUCKING AMAZING

- BRUH leave jon aloneeeeeee

- MAGNUS YOU BITCH

- NOT THE APOCALYPSE BEING A STATEMENT

- WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

- BRO WTF

- WTF

- WTF

- WTF

- I HATE THIS

- WTF

- JON DONT LAUGH LIKE MICHEAL

[roonotrue]

Cotl Fanfic - Thoughts & Opinions?

So, this is the first post on this new account and it's a question for my Cult of the Lamb fandom pookies. I just recently got the game and I'm obsessed with it and have been thinking about writing a BUNCH of fanfiction.

So I wanted notes and suggestions on some things, and I might even make polls on some of them, starting most importantly with the topic below:

Gender, Pronouns, and Sexuality that are so far, are solely based on vibes and what I've seen the rest of the fandom agreeing on (And canon of course):

- The Lamb's identity will probs change depending on the fic type, but for most of them they will be assigned male at birth, He/They & Pansexual. Simple and sweet because our lamb boi is just tryna SURVIVE out here in a cult of idiots that can't even cook their own food or clean up their own shit. (Is this just me wanting to write more he/they characters in my stories because I'm he/they? Yes. Yes, it is folks.)

- Narinder is transgender male He/Him. I'm making him transgender male because I said so. I want more trans rep guys, leave me alone. & Homosexual because if his whole vibe and personality doesn't scream gay angsty emo cat I don't know what else in this world does.

- Leshy is cisgender He/Him. I can imagine him experimenting with they/them though. I may include something on that... If anyone has any notes on that I'm all ears. Best Bi. His level of chaos just radiates ADHD bisexual with way too much energy and free time.

- Heket is cis-gender She/Her. The only girlie in the family, fates have mercy on her and her patience. A lesbian for sure. I think the whole fandom just sort of agrees on this, right? With like, lots of wives because she is a highkey baddie? At least that's the impression I've been given based on all of her fanart and simps.

- Calamari- Sorry, I mean Kallamar, is cis-gendered He/Him. I was thinking of making him a transgender man too? Idk, I've just been told the cis's need rep too, and it made me gag and now I want to wave my magic writer wand and make all the characters trans and nonbinary. Opinions on that are welcome. Anyway. A pansexual, and I hear he canonically had multiple spouses? Despite looking like he has zero rizz. I mean, damn. Good for him I guess. Go squid boy, go.

In this, he's gonna be single though, because I like the idea of him struggling to find new spouses and Heket laughing at his struggle.

- Shamura is absolutely nonbinary they/them. A friend has told me this is canon, and that people may gun for my fucking throat if I change it. Not that I really want to, it fits. Shamura is lowkey one of my favorites. I just like spiders. I'm also deeply afraid of them and cry if I see them irl. I also think they're bisexual in the exact opposite way as Leshy, in that they are a calm, mildly tired wine aunt of the family, mixed with the senile grandparent that snores loudly then stops and everyone pauses and looks at each other like 'Are... Are they fucking dead?'

Anyway, this is a long post, but I needed to get this out there before I started writing stuff for this fandom. Any opinions are welcome, but no bullying other people's thoughts, and be chill guys.

Fr. I'm like a skittish cat, you'll scare me away, and then no one gets fanfiction.

[pansy-picnics]

how did unknighted dream react to varian coming out/bringing home hugo lol

LMAOOO OK so this is one of my favorite things ever solely bc theres SO MANY different ways it can go and literally all of them are fucking gold

i feel like they always knew varian was Not Straight. im a big fan of the idea that varian transitions after qfad and has a big mental breakdown haircut when his dad gets trapped and considering his feelings towards both eugene and cass i think it was always this unspoken thing all of them knew about. rapunzel and eugene however were obviously Not expecting him to bring home a whole ass boyfriend

of course varian wrote tons of letters home so they both heard everything about the new friends he was making, but varian was insistent on not telling them ANYTHING about his crush because god knows how rapunzel would react if she found out about That. she was suspicious when he came back for the light trial but decided to keep her mouth shut until they were all finished with their work there

i love rapunzel and eugene being super supportive but also a Little protective. and its not really anything to do with anything hugo’s done, they’re all about second chances after all but they’re obviously not ready to see their baby brother grow up so fast. ive seen a lot of fics where one or both of them are very defensive and suspicious towards hugo and it ends with a VERY yummy confrontation from varian where he tells them they need to learn that he’s an adult now and is able to make his own choices and they have to be okay with that. but the route of them being so excited and supportive that it ends up being overbearing is also super funny and in character

i think rapunzel at first would be super excited varian is finding love, and very welcoming towards hugo on a surface level- but as time goes on the tiniest things start to make her paranoid, and she worries a lot about varian getting hurt in some way. cue her snooping around a lot just to make sure he’s okay, varian eventually confronting her about it and her apologizing and promising to recognize varian’s maturity and be more accepting of his choices.

when rapunzel actually starts to see hugo on a deeper level she starts to recognize a lot of his similarities to varian, eugene, and especially herself, and she’s now basically like “oh ok!!! new baby brother!! :)”

she then tries to be a lot more welcoming towards hugo, trying to help him settle into the castle without being too overbearing. of course from hugo’s perspective her seemingly constant mood swings make him very hesitant to trust her, but eventually through varian the two are able to bond and find a lot of common ground

eugene on the other hand is fun bc he’s way more versatile and it can go a LOT of different ways depending on how they’re introduced or how their past together is established. i love the idea of him basically becoming Cass 2.0 and being super overprotective of varian but i also like to imagine he’s mostly just so hostile towards hugo bc he recognizes so much of his younger self and is Cringing about it (he would literally NEVER admit it though). like he’s like “i cannot STAND that kid he always acts so cocky and like he’s sooo much better than me” and cass is like “lmao yeah right? he’s exactly like you when you first came here” and eugene’s just “😐”

anyways they’re best friends (they literally cant stand each other)

no they do start to get along eventually though and i have so many thoughts about the potential friendship between the former thieves, lance hugo and eugene would be SUCH a dynamic and this fandom is sleeping on it fr

and then theres cass. GOD cass is my favorite in this situation by far bc shes way more logical and is like the only grounding force between rapunzel and eugene. new dream are the overemotional parents/older siblings in this situation and cass is like. the wine aunt.

bc see cass already ran into varian at some point during his journey and has already processed most of these changes ahead of time. she already recognized how much varian had matured and how much this trip had changed him. and most importantly she recognized what was going on between him and hugo a Long time ago and literally Did Not Care

in fact cass’s main concern is literally just that she thinks hugo is annoying. its not like she’s suspicious of him at all bc she fully trusts varians judgement and also knows varian is capable of handling himself. she’s aware that varian clearly saw something in hugo and chose him for a reason. she just doesn’t like him solely out of personal bias

cass doesn’t straight up tell raps and eugene what the problem is because she knows they need to hear it from varian more than anything but she does try to kind of push them in that direction. she reminds them like “hey maybe you should try to give the kid more credit. i think he knows what he’s doing” yk that kind of thing.

ironically enough though hugo is WAY more scared of her than he is of anyone else. shes like on the same level as quirin on his list of threats which is hilarious because they are the main 2 people who have like, basically nothing against him

hugo: so is this the part where you tell me you’ll kill me if i hurt varian

cass: ? what?? oh no that bitch is fully capable of killing you himself if he wanted to

hugo: …….yeah thats fair actually.

[real-total-drama-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/729373016796102656/httpswwwtumblrcomreal-total-drama-takes72924

FR

Blaineley is soooo cool rich (gay) wine aunt coded... it's crazy

.

[fanficfish]

Explaining characters in HSR badly: famliy reunion edition

hehe people liked my hetalia one so here's a HSR one

all for funsies

Himeko: Initialed the event The aunt you don't say no to when she

Welt: The fun uncle who entertains everyone with magic tricks and distracts the little kids with a game when the table erupts in the inevitable family argument.

March: the cousin that insists on a famliy photo. And takes photos of the food. And of everyone.

Dan Heng: Angsty Freshman in College/oldestsibling who left his room to greet everyone, got food, then went back to his room.

Luocha: The friend the parents don't like but he brought coke as a peace offering.

Sushang: The friend the parents tolerate who did not bring a peace offering.

Kafka: wine aunt

Blade: The uncle who kicks everyone out of the kitchen after someone burns the turkey

Caelus: burned the turkey

Stelle: the ousin hiding in Dan Heng's room playing video games.

Silver Wolf: the cousin who brought gaming consoles fr everyone.

Asta: Rich relative who brings gifts

Arlan: The cousin who brought the family dog.

Pom-Pom: the oldest person in the room, definitely don't say no to them.

Firefly: Someone's girlfriend. You hope she sticks around.

Sampo: Someone's boyfriend. You hope he doesn't stick around.

Elio: The uncle who sent a greetings postcard from the Bahamas. He's not in the bahamas.

Gepard: The uncle who tries to keep order until someone turns the game on.

Bronya: Aunt that turned the game on. And brought a caserole.

Seele: Gets the livingroom caught up in a heated debate over the game.

Luka: Cousin who egged Seele on.

Pela: Has a bok, is in the corner do not disturb

Lynx: Doesn't even leave her room in the first place. Has to be dragged out.

Serval: Cool aunt that starts a singalong.

Jing yuan: Cool grandpa who's a war vet and met the president.

Jingliu: crazy aunt who probably makes money off the black market or so you reckon.

Clara: The cute cousin. Quietly playing with the family dog. Offers to help with the dishes.

Hook: Someone's ipad kid child.

Bailu: That one kid who says things "innocently" so while everyone's arguing she can sneak more candy.

Yanqing: That smart kid who's too smart. His achievements list makes you feel useless. You will be compared to him for weeks.

Fu Xuan: The aunt who brought a good caserole.

Qingque: The cousin who said she wouldn't bring anything but you later find out made half the caserole.

Topaz: The rich aunt who starts lecturing on why you should invest in the stock market now

Aventurien: The rich uncle who teaches you to play poker

Dr. Ratio: The uncle that judges everyone and everything

Boothill: That black sheep of the family. You're only somewhat sure he doesn't run a drug cartel.

Tingyun (minus Phantylia): Workaholic aunt who keeps forgetting she's at a family reunin and tries to sell you lip gloss. Then backtracks and offers you the lip gloss for free.

Sunday: You're not 100% sure where this uncle came from and you're pretty sure he's a wanted murderer but he does make a mean caserole.

Robin: The other reason SUnday hasn't been kicked out yet: he brings Robin and Robin is the life of the party.

Misha: The nicest cousin. Almost too nice. Offerred to clear everyone's plates, then brought out the desert

And last but not least....

Gallagher: You're DEFINITELY sure you saw his face on a wanted poster but he just made you the best smoothie ever so no complaints.

[valemya]

🍄🧸 for the asks! :)

thanks for the asks!

🍄 mushroom: tell me about your dr family!

Certainly! In terms of biological family... I went the route 99% of shifters go- they're just not around. Being a jedi and all it would be difficult for them to be present in my life anyway, so to make it easier I just don't really know them because I haven't seen them since before I was taken to the order.

There is one exception though and it's a bit of a weird one tied to my other (star wars rebels) DR, which I have had for a looong time. Basically in that DR Ezra Bridger is my (non-biological) brother, yknow grew up together, lived together the whole deal. I faced a great deal of emotional torment when I decided to create my tcw DR, because I felt like I would be "cheating" on rebels by focusing on another DR. A friend of mine helped me realise it was alright to put that DR on the backburner for a little while, and besides I could just script Ezra in my tcw DR with me? So then came the epiphany I literally could just bring Ezra with me to my new DR, and that was genuinely really comforting and made me feel a lot better about my decision to make the tcw DR.

Anyway boring backstory aside, there is one exception and it's Ezra. The only difference is that in my tcw DR he's my second cousin (and my padawan!!) cause I thought it would be reeeally funny if I was just randomly assigned a padawan that coincidentally had the same last name as me, thinking there was no relation, until one day obi wan goes digging in the jedi archives or something and finds out oh shit! you guys are cousins fr!

Someone: *reading off a report* General Bridger and.... Commander... Bridger? Is that like your son or something?

Ezra and I, at the same time: we are NOT related!!!

Obi wan: ...😶

So that covers the biological side... but I know you're really here for the found family bit. I'd say that I consider just about everyone family, especially all the clones, but I'll rattle off a few really significant people quickly.

My old master Depa is for sure the mother figure in my life. And yes she's still keeping me in check even after I've long passed my trials and officially gotten out of her hair in the eyes of the Order. By extension, Caleb (Kanan) is someone I'd consider like a half-brother and don't worry, I make sure he and Ezra get to hang out a lot.

Obviously growing up with Anakin I'd consider him family too, and that means Obi Wan on some level as well. To me Obi Wan is kind of like a wine aunt. Will not be elaborating further. Ahsoka feels like a niece.

Despite legally becoming my brother-in-laws at some point, I do consider a lot of the clones to be either very close friends or some kind of familial figure I can't really place. Naturally some are closer to me than others such as Rex and the 501st or the Bad Batch, but I think I bond with them all pretty well.

Tech of course holds the most special place in my heart as my future husband.

...I think that covers it...

🧸 teddy: do you have a favourite childhood memory from your dr?

This one actually had me stumped for a while. I honestly, genuinely have not thought about my life before the war too much, certainly not as a child really. If I had a favourite memory of anything from my childhood it would be a toss up between:

When I was a brand new admission to the Order and didn't really know anyone or even my place in it all, I would spend most of my time in the temple library/archives. The lovely librarian Jocasta Nu was super kind to me, and I continued to spend time in there over the years and even kind of wanted to work within that area because of her kindness. Turned out not to be as I got assigned to the war instead, but the memory is still pleasant.

OR

The early days when I was chosen as Depa's padawan. Getting to know her and what she stands for and learning from her and meditating together is just such a nice bonding activity. She's super supportive and a very grounded teacher, and I think my eyes would have been sparkling watching her do all these cool things and then receiving her guidance on these same things until I was able to master them myself. Just so cool. I think she's a great jedi and a great teacher too.

And there you have it! my essay responses to your asks! hope you've enjoyed and thanks again for the submission!