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couldeatthatgirlforlunch · 1 month

Note

I really loved your scenario of The Justice League AND The Ill reader,Lmao, poor reader they only need a rest.

Anyway, ever since I read the first part I was thinking about the kids, you know, the League Sidekicks, obviously The Reader knows them, due to work (I can really imagine Batman introducing His kids to the Reader to force a bond , And obviously The rest of The League does the same) So I had the headcanon that the reader really likes the children, they talk to them after missions, sometimes they buy them some gifts for their birthdays, they listen to them when they complain about their father figures (Therapist Reader), etc. But at the same time I can imagine The Reader being totally uncomfortable with his parents, so I can't help but think of a scenario in which The Reader is talking to the League kids in a good mood, but the League members walk in. to the room (They obviously saw the Happy Reader, so they want to gain some advantage) And The Reader just turns off, goes into business mode and is curt as always with the league, and when he finishes talking to the league, he goes back to talking to the children and their mood is happy again. Man I would love to see the league's reaction to the obvious reader favoritism

PD:I really love your work, you are amazing

Pd2:If The kids are yandere, ITS UP to you

A Week in Life: Take Your Kid to Work Day

Synopsis: A week in your life where you get a lot of new little friends, even if you know something’s sketchy about it.

Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Assistant!Gn!Reader; Platonic!Yanderes! Robin (Dick), Superboy (Konner), Miss Martian, Kid Flash (Wally) and Aqualad (Kaldur'ahm)

Tw: A single implication about Hal’s past dub/non con incidente (blink and you miss it); Implied emotional manipulation, I guess? Justice League using kids as a manipulation tactic; A little angst, I think we all hate how Superman treated Conner, so I added that, so technically not a healthy relationship between them here, could be interpreted as Superman manipulating him or Superboy trying too hard to make his bio-dad like him; The kid’s ages are definitely not accurate canon wise, but what is canon anyway? I mixed their personalities and origins from Young Justice (along with their age gap) and for Superboy it was mainly the animated movie Reign of the Supermen; English is not my 1st language.

Word count: 3,3k

Requested? More than once.

Extra notes: Dick is 10, Kaldur'ahm, Conner, Megan and Wally are 13. I wish I knew more about the Wonder Girls to write about one of them, I felt bad for not adding them, but I would’ve felt worse writing for a character I have no idea how to write.

General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist

— I wasn't aware that there was a Take Your Kid to Work Day on schedule... — You said in a surprised, maybe taken aback, tone, if not a little strangled and sarcastic, even if a little happy. You rubbed your forehead, you knew your hunch was right…

Monday…

You’ve heard the rumors Gotham media was spreading for months now, you even asked Batman if you should prepare the marketing team in case of an emergency, he denied everything.

So why was it that now you were staring at a 10 year old dressed as a traffic light?

— Miss/Mister/Mx (Y/N)... I’m hungry… — Worst of all? The kid was cute.

You smile in a friendly manner.

— Okay, okay. Just give me a second, buddy, I need to talk to your… Dad…?! — You just now realized you didn't know their actual relationship. Batman only told you his name was Robin, that he was his partner, and that he was in the watchtower to observe. You didn't know superheroes accepted 10 year old interns, but whatever. The kid just stared blankly at you, not giving an actual answer to if you got your assumption right.

— Can I go with you? — Robin fiddled with his fingers. So cute. You nodded with a small smile. The kid jumped off his too big chair and ran towards you, surprising you by taking your hand. He had small hands. So cute.

You walked slowly, to accommodate to his height, in the direction of the door to the briefing room, where Batman was talking to John Stewart. This other Green Lantern was a breath of fresh air. The other one (the one who shouldn't be named) was away, working on another district of the universe since that whole… Less-than-consensual situation. You were happy and surprised when the League didn't just brush it off, and even compensated you for it, alongside making him go away. He either agreed to that, or caused the 3rd World War against the Justice League. It was a temporary predicament, but happier nonetheless, since John wasn't obsessed with you, unlike the rest of them, and easy to work with.

You cleared your throat so they would turn to you.

— Does Robin have any restrictions? He said he's hungry so I'm gonna take him to the kitchen. — You said politely. Batman shook his head.

— Just don't give him sugar. He needs to sleep before patrol tonight. — You raised your eyebrows in surprise and nodded your head. Batman looked at the boy. — Behave, chum. — You blinked, Robin nodded solemnly.

As you walked in the direction of the kitchen, the kid showed to be very happy and talkative. You were surprised, considering who his dad was, but it warmed your heart. At least it seemed he wasn't mistreated.

At some point, he let your hand go and started cartwheeling and doing acrobatics all the way there to show off his abilities to you. You gasped and clapped, praising his talent along with other workers from the crew who were passing the hall. You were slightly worried that he would fall and get hurt, but the kid was really confident in what he was doing (but they always are, until they fall).

When you got there, you were impressed that he wasn't even the slightest out of breath.

— Do you have games on your phone? — He asked, sitting down on a table while you rummaged the fridge for some sandwiches or any healthy snack, since you didn't know how his home diet was, but guessing by his build, which was a lot more athletic than kids his age are, he was probably pretty healthy. Son of the Bat.

— Hmm, I have Dress to Impress, Pou and Candy Crush.

— What is Pou? — Your heart panged and you sighed, feeling old.

— When were you born? 2010? — You walked towards him and settled a plate with a sandwich in front of him, before pouring a cup of juice.

— 2014. — Your mouth dropped, speechless. — Wait, so not even Stardew Valley? — You cleared your throat and shook your head, sitting beside him, while he started eating.

— Wait, can I even let you play? Does Batman let you have screen time? — He nodded.

— I have a phone. I just couldn't bring it with me today… He said he would show me around the tower, but he got busy with work… — He deflated a little at the end of the sentence, your heart broke. — Anyway… He told me I could distract myself. I just need your permission. — You bite your lip.

— Okay. How about we go to the recreational room and you can play some videogames while I work from the computer. — Robin nodded eagerly.

— Damn, you can't even play with me? Working sucks. That must be why adults are so boring. — You took a napkin and cleaned some food from his cheek.

— It's not that bad… You can do whatever you want. — He perked up.

— I guess so… — He looked you up and down. You prepared yourself for one of those moments where kids are so blunt that they don't know they could offend someone. — But you're not boring, (Y/N), you're cool. Must be why daddy likes you so much. And he doesn't like no one.

Tuesday…

Wow, what a weird coincidence. Just yesterday Batman brought his kid, and now Martian Manhunter brought his niece.

Miss Martian looked older than Robin, but again, she was a martian, her appearance was shifted to whatever she wanted to look like. All you knew was that she was young and new on Earth.

Right now, she looked very human. She had freckles and auburn hair. The only thing that made her stand out was the green of her skin.

When she presented herself to you, you got startled by her voice in your head, but you and Martian Manhunter softly explained to her that on Earth people didn't communicate through their minds, and it was kinda like an invasion of privacy. Kinda funny hearing him say that, but whatever.

Like Batman the day prior, Martian trusted the girl in your hands. So many coincidences, right?!

— So, honey, how old are you?

— Oh, on my home planet I should be about 39. But converting to Earth years, I’m 13. — She said with a shy but friendly smile, you smiled back.

— You’re pretty young then. How are you settling on Earth? Planning to go to school maybe? — She nodded.

— I just started the school year… I wasn't too sure about that, but my uncle said it would be good to learn human behaviors. — You nodded.

— American school is nice, I recommend you should take part in clubs. And don't feel pressured to make a billion friends. It's better to have one good friend, instead of 10 people you know but can't rely on. — She nodded, biting her lip.

— I already know some of the other sidekicks, I just don't have any civilian friends… I was thinking about joining the cheerleading team. — You gasped, excited.

— Oh, that's really good! I always wanted to join, but was never the sporty type. You’re sweet, I think that already gives you some points. — Her green cheeks got darker.

— You think so?! — Her voice got louder with excitement.

— Of course! Now let me give you some tips about the jocks, honey…

Wednesday…

Today, Flash brought Kid Flash. You haven't met him until now. The sequence of days the older heroes brought in their sidekicks was starting to look weird… But not that weird. Batman said he would give Robin a tour but became unavailable. Manhunter wanted Miss Martian to meet civilian people and have a good role model — you don't know why he decided that that role model should be you, but it made sense, so… —. Flash Said they would spend the day using the lab to experiment some more on Kid Flash’s still recently acquired powers. So. Coincidences, right?

The boy was 13 too, he had messy red hair and green eyes. Flash didn't specify their relationship, but their personalities definitely matched a little. Both a little hyperiperactive and smiley. Although that could be more of a speedster thing, especially the first part.

Like promised, they spent half that day on the lab, occasionally calling you for snack breaks. However, at some point, Flash gave an excuse and left you with the kid.

Huh.

— Sooo, what do you do around here? — Kid Flash asked, spinning around in a chair he found somewhere and rolled to the middle of your office in the blink of an eye. You half-smiled. It was nice not being crowded by those weirdos and being around fresh and youthful people, but it was starting to feel weird.

— I plan schedule appointments, organize team meetings, prepare agendas and itineraries, book meals and travel arrangements, handle record keeping and documentation, and make sure a project stays on budget. — The ginger blinked and stopped spinning.

— Uhh, you went to college for that? — You blinked.

— I did, why? — He chuckled slightly.

— Nothing, it's cool, sounds boring, though. — You nodded.

— What do you want to work with? — He looked to the side, thoughtful for a moment.

— I think I want to be a scientist.

— Oh really?

— Yeah, I like physics, mechanics and a little bit of chemistry. — You smirked.

— Chemistry? Sounds boring. — Kidflash froze for a second, wide-eyed, then relaxed and started laughing loudly. His chuckling prompted you to chuckle alongside him.

He used his feet to push the chair around your table and stopped at your side.

— Hey, can I see how much people get paid here? If I'm gonna be a member of the League one day, might as well optimize time and just work here. — You slapped his hands away when he reached for your computer, he pouted.

— Wouldn't that make it difficult to keep your secret identity hidden?! — Kid Flash stretched his arm, then draped it across your shoulders, you lifted an eyebrow.

— Babe. I'm a superhero. I could change clothes really fast right now and you wouldn't even notice. — You scoffed and lightly pushed him and his chair away.

— A phone booth would be more appropriate for that.

— What's a phone booth?

Thursday…

Superman brought Superboy.

Why the fuck are they doing that, bro?

You didn't even know they were close! Sure, Superboy is Superman and Lex Luthor’s clone, the whole world knew that, and that Superboy took to Superman's side. But they were never seen together, unlike Flash and Kid Flash, or Batman and Robin, for example.

Worst of all? It looked like the mood between them was… Weary. Especially on Superman’s part. Did he not trust Superboy? You could understand that… But look at his puppy sad face!

And not even five minutes later, Superman just flew away, saying something about a hurricane in Texas, AND SUPERBOY STAYED!

The silence was awkward for a few seconds. You thought back to the personality he showed when he was first announced by LexCorp, when Superman was considered dead. He was all over the media (Lex’s marketing team was good) with his charisma and flirty personality. Although he kept the leather jacket, his quietness surprised you.

You cleared your throat.

Superman brought Superboy.

Why the fuck are they doing that, bro?

Worst of all? It looked like the mood between them was… Weary. Especially on Superman’s part. Did he not trust Superboy? You could understand that… But look at his puppy sad face!

And not even five minutes later, Superman just flew away, saying something about a hurricane in Texas, AND SUPERBOY STAYED!

You cleared your throat.

— So… Are you hungry? Wanna play videogames? — You grimaced slightly. He looked at you again, a little hesitant.

— Uh… I think so? — He blinked. — You guys have videogames here?! — He exclaimed, surprised. You chuckled.

— Oh yeah, for such a serious and stern guy, Batman really invested in the work environment. — You chuckled together, walking towards the recreational area.

You were curious about the earlier weird vibe, but didn't want to prod.

At first, you just let the boy play by himself, just sitting beside him and working while talking, that was until he paused the game between missions and stretched, then looked at you.

— Are you guys involved? — You looked at him with your eyebrows raised.

— You guys…? — He pursed his lips.

— You and Superman. — You grimaced slightly.

— Oh no, he's my boss, and not my type at all. — He nodded, looking pensive.

— He likes you. — You kept a blank expression, waiting for him to continue. — I like you too, so I can imagine why he likes you. — You stared at him, exasperated. He widened his eyes. — Not like that! — He raised his hands to deny. — It's just- I feel comfortable with you. I felt comfortable with some of his friends before, I didn't even know why, but I think it's because half of me is from him. Like I have some things from Lex since I was… Born… — He looked to the ground for a second, pouting lightly. — That's why Superman doesn't like me. — You widened your eyes.

— I'm sure he likes you! — Superboy looked at you like he didn't believe you.

— No, it's okay… He's polite, I guess. And took me in as his family, just not… As his son… More like a brother, or… A cousin… I mean, I can understand, I'm basically a hate baby, created by his biggest enemy to outdo and destroy him… — You shook your head.

You didn't know what to say, since you didn't know how their dynamic was like.

— H-He brought you here to spend time with you, didn't he? He just had an emergency to take care of… — He looked to the ground and then at you again. He didn't have the heart to tell you that's the first time they ever “hung out”, and that his genius brain clocked hours ago that Superman's plan was to create a connection between you both by orchestrating a connection with you and him. He also didn't want to bad mouth Clark. A part of him always would have hope that Superman would want to be closer to him one day.

Superboy looked at the clock and then at you.

— Don't you have a break? I can hear your stomach, I'm hungry too.

Friday…

This madness has to stop now.

— Nice to meet you, Aqualad. — You nodded at the boy with a small smile. You were a little mesmerized by his exotic appearance. He had brown skin, blonde hair in braids (where are his roots?) and blue eyes. His arms were also covered in tattoos that you knew had something to do with his abilities.

— I was showing him around the Watchtower, but now I have a meeting with Wonder Woman, why don't you two hang out for a while? — Aquaman, always the most obnoxious one. Their intentions were 100% clear now.

Aquaman didn't let you say anything else and left the room with said hero. You heard her murmur something about having to find her own apprentice to bring to the watchtower as soon as possible.

You looked at the boy, not knowing what to say.

— Have you ever been to Atlantis? — He surprised you by speaking first, his tone was gentle, if not a little monotonous, but he looked at you with interest.

— Uhhh, no? I’m not that good of a swimmer and I can't breathe underwater. — Aqualad smirked lightly.

— You wouldn't need to worry about breathing, there are multiple ways for humans to do that, from magic to technology. As for swimming… I'm sure we can find some sort of solution for that, also. And I doubt my king would be opposed to the idea of teaching you. — You nodded slowly. So much for subtly.

— … My vitamin D is low enough as it is, I’d rather stay on land, no offense. — The atlantean opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it. — Aqualad! Do you like the food here? I've always been curious about your culture’s cuisine…

You kept talking for hours, eventually, Aqualad and you ended up in the training room, he offered to show you a little of his control over water bodies, and you, still a little fascinated over the convivence with superheroes, and this being the second time you met someone from Atlantis, accepted eagerly.

— This is just like H2O… — Kauldur’ahm blinked.

— It is water… — The boy confirmed, hesitantly. You laughed.

— No, no, not water. It's a TV show, it's about mermaids. I guess it isn't exactly accurate, but they can control water, just like you! — He nodded, slowly, contemplating. You looked at your watch, noticing your lunch time was due. You looked at him, shyly. — If you're up for it, we could watch it now… — That seemed to make him perk up a little and he nodded quickly.

— I would like to.

Monday…

There they were, in the meeting room, all seated around the big roundtable, almost double the number of people who usually sit there.

Now, the food order they made, made sense.

You pushed the food cart forward, one for Flash. You came back and pushed another one, this one for Kid Flash, you ruffled his hair. Then, you walked back and pushed the 3rd food cart around the table, delivering each meal for each hero.

— Steak for Green Lantern. One black coffee for Batman. One meat sandwich and chocolate milk for Robin. — You squeezed his cheek. He smiled brightly at you. — Toast for Martian Manhunter and a slice of strawberry cake for Missy Miss Martian. — As you put the plate in front of her, you whispered that you wanted to know how the cheerleading team was going. She nodded happily. — A burger with fries for Aquaman, a smoothie and salad for Aqualad. Oh, did you change your hair? I like it! — You smiled brightly at the boy and his cheeks burned, he nodded. — Ice cream for Wonder Woman. Another burger and fries for Superman and another for Superboy. I see you followed my advice, your style really matches with those piercings. Tell me how you did it later. — You laughed carelessly and went to the door. — Need me for something more? — Your bosses shook their heads, stunned. You left and closed the door.

— Can't believe you guys actually did it… — John shook his head, disappointed at his teammates.

— I knew it would work. — Batman said, sipping from his drink.

— That's why we stole your idea when we knew about it. — Aquaman chuckled.

— I really need to find a sidekick. — Diana huffed.

Batman turned to Robin.

— You did a good job, chum. — Dick chuckled.

— Yeah, I even asked for a sandwich without the crust. Now (Y/N) think I'm the cutest here. — He smirked smugly. Wally scoffed.

— Yeah, right. She totally doesn't think you're an annoying kid. — The duo stared at each other. — I, for example, made them laugh. — The redhead puffed his chest proudly.

— Are you sure it wasn’t a pity laugh?! — Superboy snorted at Robin’s retort.

— Although Robin might be physically more adorable, and Kid Flash, in his words, made them laugh. (Y/N) and I started a TV show together, my king. — Aquaman nodded at his apprentice’s words.

— You did a good job.

— But (Y/N) actually said they wanted to talk to me later! That usually oficializes human’s friendships! — Megan said, softly.

— They said the same to me, the other day. That I could talk to them whenever I wanted… — Superman looked at Superboy, surprised. He felt awkward praising him, so he just nodded his head and looked away. Superboy pouted slightly.

— Because you told them your sob story, now they think you're a loser. — Conner glared at Dick. — Their physical language showed that they loved me, B! I honestly deserve an Oscar after that performance! They're gonna be ours before you suckers know it!

As a screaming match raised inside the room, the adult heroes looked at each other, lost for words, not only had the kids gotten you roped a bazillion times faster then they could ever dream, but also you were so amazing that they were enamored with you too.

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karajaynetoday · 7 months

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nothing's going right, and everything's a mess, and no one likes to be alone | jack hughes

author's note: don't ask me how the university semester timeline in this works. i have simply given reader a three week break in march bc why not. this is fanfiction okay, anything can happen 😂 no one proofread this for me so soz for any typos!

word count: 3.4k words

warnings: none that i can think of? but lmk if i've missed anything. soz if the ending makes you mad LOL i do love a cliffhanger

read part one here

read part two here

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here (soz that the masterlist is not up to date lol) | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here

Somehow, the ill feeling of waiting until summer to see Jack again began to fade with each passing day. The itch to text him every time something exciting or infuriating happened to you began to lessen. The thoughts of him when you saw a funny meme he’d like, or your shared favourite foods on special at the grocery store, quietly stopped happening as frequently.

But then there were the things that didn’t stop. The sharp pain in your chest whenever Jack’s smiling face popped up on your social media feed. The butterflies in your stomach whenever your parents brought him up in conversation, fuelled by whatever the latest updates were from their group message thread with Jim and Ellen. The joy that would wash over you when you heard about a Devils win or a Jack Hughes goal, followed almost always by a wave of sadness that you were hearing about it second or third hand, rather than from Jack himself.

You were the one who’d asked for space. You needed time, you’d said. Given the blow up of All-Star weekend, all Jack was doing was respecting your wishes; but a huge part of you not so secretly wished he’d be a bit more disrespectful and reach out. Your mind was a mess of conflicting thoughts, and your heart wasn’t sure which emotion to feel or where to go next.

Since kindergarten, you’d barely gone more than a few days without seeing or communicating with Jack in some way. Now you were nearly a month without a word, and even though you were still mad at how he’d treated you, you were craving a return to the friendship you’d become so accustomed to. Jack knew you better than anyone, could basically read your mind with a single look, and although you had plenty of friends at college and still around in Toronto from high school, none came close to the camaraderie you shared with Jack. He was someone you could talk to for hours, or sit next to in silence for the same amount of time, it didn’t matter. With Jack, you could be utterly and entirely yourself, no complications. Now it felt like you were always pretending. And it was exhausting.

It was about 9pm on a Thursday night when you found yourself pushing through that exhaustion to try and complete yet another university assignment. For motherfucking economics. You couldn’t wait until you’d completed all of your compulsory economics credits because it was the absolute opposite of your cup of tea, when it came to academic subjects. This assignment was your last one, and you weren’t sure whether to cheer or cry at the idea of hitting the submit button on the online portal. Maybe you should’ve bought a confetti cannon to celebrate. Or a box of wine. Or booked yourself a flight somewhere fun, given you had a break from classes soon.

As soon as the thought of a trip crossed your mind, your phone began to buzz with an incoming video call. A video call from… Luke. Luke Hughes.

Your face scrunched in confusion, as you swiped to answer the call, met with Luke’s smiling face and messy curls.

“Hey sunshine! Long time no see. How have you been?” Luke spoke cheerily. Almost too cheerily.

You were immediately suspicious and narrowed your eyes at the youngest Hughes.

Luke was 3 years old when you met for the first time; he could barely remember a life without you in it. Given how inseparable you and Jack were, Luke became your de facto little brother, always tagging along where he could and joining in your adventures. Later on, when he became a teenager, you were the one Luke would come to when he was having issues with his friends, or trying to build up the courage to ask out the cute girl in his math class, or missing his brothers when they moved away. You were his second call after Ellen when he felt homesick at Michigan, and you were his first call when he had fucked up something that he felt his brothers would never let him live down. Emotional support and damage control, with a healthy dose of teasing and laughs thrown in. That was the dynamic between you and Luke. It also meant you could read him to filth when he was lying to you, and your honesty radar was through the roof at this sudden video call.

“I’m fine, Moose. Just trying to wrap up my final assignment before the break without losing my entire mind.” You offered weakly, half-expecting Luke to make a joke about your mind having been lost years ago, but the joke never came.

Instead, you saw the concern flicker across Luke’s face, just for a moment, before he forced a smile.

“How long is your break for? Any plans?”

“Three weeks, and not really. I promised my mother I’d spend a few days helping her with planning for their anniversary party in June, but that probably won’t happen until right before I go back to school.” You chatted absently, hitting save on your essay and standing up from the couch, bringing your phone with you as you moved into the kitchen to make yourself a drink.

You propped the phone up against the vase on your kitchen bench, reaching up into the cabinet to retrieve a glass.

“Well, you should come visit. We’ve got like 5 home games in a row or something ridiculous coming up. It’d be fun!” Luke’s tone was cheerful, but cautious, like he wasn’t sure how you were going to react.

You hummed in response, moving slightly out of view of your phone to get some ice cubes from your freezer and a soda from the fridge.

“Besides, I heard a rumour that you’ve got an airline voucher to use. I’d hate for it to expire or something.”

You could feel your heart starting to beat faster. Luke knew about the voucher. Did that mean Jack had told him about your fight?

“The voucher won’t expire for three years. I’m sure I’ll manage to use it before then.” You deadpanned, stepping back into frame to see Luke rolling his eyes at you.

“Yeah, sure, but will I survive that long without seeing you? Absolutely not. Come on, sugar. Please? Even if it’s just a weekend?” Luke had moved into full begging mode, with puppy dog eyes and everything.

You sighed, fidgeting with the straw in your drink and avoiding his gaze.

“I don’t… we haven’t talked at all, Luke. I don’t know what he’ll do if I just show up there.” You half-whispered, feeling that all-too-familiar wave of sadness coursing through your veins.

“He talked about you tonight at dinner. Says he misses you. But he doesn’t want to push, or not give you the space you wanted. But right now, he’s on the couch watching Gossip Girl, so…” Luke stated matter-of-factly, staring you down with a knowing look on your face.

Gossip Girl was something you’d insisted Jack get into when you were teenagers, as long as he “wanted to be called your official best friend”. And The OC. And Gilmore Girls. And One Tree Hill. And basically any other teen drama series you could think of. Collectively, those shows had thousands of episodes, and you always found yourself settling down to watch them whenever you were missing Jack more than usual. You’d never realised before that he did the same.

“Should… should we tell him I’m coming? I don’t want him to get upset by a bad surprise.”

“Not at all, sugar. Book the flight and send me the details, I’ll sort out the rest.” Luke’s beaming smile made a smile of your own creep onto your face, as you nodded at him and went to retrieve your laptop from the couch to log onto the airline website.

“Now that that’s sorted, I was wondering, what does it mean when a girl asks me what my sun, moon and rising are? Should I be worried? Or is it a good thing?”

–

Two days later, you were done with your semester and on your way to the airport. Luke had suggested you book a one-way flight, “That way, you can go home whenever you like!”, but you were starting to feel like the whole thing was a mistake.

Nonetheless, you pushed through those feelings and boarded your flight. The whole ordeal took less than two hours, and soon enough you found yourself navigating the arrivals area at Newark airport. You spotted Luke’s lanky figure, clad in a Michigan sweatshirt, with his back to you. You couldn’t help but creep up on him and poke his side, cracking up with laughter as Luke jumped at least three feet into the air. He’d always been the easiest to scare, ever since you were kids.

Luke cussed you out, and then pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

“Missed your face, sugarplum.” Luke murmured, as you pulled away from each other and he rested his hands on your shoulders, studying you.

“Aw, Lukey. I’d say I’d missed yours too, but we really gotta do something about that hair.” You poked your tongue out as the youngest Hughes brother’s jaw dropped in mock offense.

You retrieved your bag from the luggage carousel, and headed out to where Luke had parked. The two of you fell into easy conversation as Luke navigated through the New Jersey streets back to the apartment he shared with Jack.

You managed to bury most of the nerves, but they came bubbling back to the surface when Luke pulled into the parking garage at the bottom of his building.

“Is… um… Is Jack home? Alone?” You managed to squeak out, and Luke looked at you like you were crazy.

Ever since All-Star weekend, you’d been having a recurring nightmare about Jack and the girl from the messages you’d accidentally become privy to. In particular, it was a scenario where you would come home from wherever you’d been out, and opened the apartment door to find them… entangled, on every possible surface you could think of. You felt yourself starting to feel ill as the images from your nightmares started to flash back into your mind.

“He’s alone. Ever since… ever since he came home early from All-Star, he’s been alone. None of the… usual visitors have been over. And he hasn’t been going to theirs, either. Not even when we’re on a roadie.” Luke said carefully, and you could tell he was trying not to upset you.

You could also tell that he was being honest. Because you could always tell when he was lying. But your mind was running a million miles a minute. Jack hadn’t… for a month? Because of his fight with you? You loved Jack, but you also knew (despite wishing that you didn’t know at all) that it had been years since he’d gone that long without intimacy. In fact, it was probably the longest since losing his virginity that Jack hadn’t fulfilled his desires.

Your mind was starting to wander into the gutter, and you pressed your eyes closed to bring yourself back to Earth. All you could do was nod at Luke, before you both hopped out of the car and into the elevator. Luke insisted on carrying your luggage, so you found yourself fidgeting incessantly with your hands as the elevator climbed to the correct floor.

You trailed behind Luke as he strode towards the apartment door and unlocked it, stepping inside and putting your bag down. He looked back and waved you into the apartment, pressing a finger to his lips. You tiptoed across the doorway, and your heart softened at the scene before you.

You could see the back of Jack’s head leaned up against the couch, and an episode of Gilmore Girls playing on the TV mounted on the wall. In fact, it was one of your favourite episodes; where Jess comes back and shows Rory the book he wrote, and calls her out for dropping out of Yale. You smiled ruefully as you thought about the parallels between that episode and your current situation with Jack, as the argument between Jess and Rory played out on the screen.

What do you mean?

You know what I mean! I know you. I know you better than anyone! This isn't you!

…

This isn't you! This! You going out with this jerk, with the Porsche! We made fun of guys like this!

You caught him on a bad night.

This isn't about him! Okay? Screw him! What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?

I don't know. I don't know…

“Are we Team Jess or Team Rory this time, Jacky?” Luke called out, making you jump.

“Team Jess all the way, obviously. Where have you bee-” Jack stopped dead in his tracks as he turned to face his brother, and instead saw you in the middle of his living room.

Jack’s face was a revelation. Confusion, at first. Then the briefest flash of hurt and anguish. Then a smile. Then caution and uncertainty, as he slowly stepped towards you.

You let a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, and quickly moved across the room, clumsily throwing your arms around your best friend. You felt Jack freeze momentarily, almost as if he was shocked at your touch, but that soon passed and you felt his hands slide around your waist and squeeze, bringing your bodies as close together as possible.

You nestled your head on Jack’s shoulder, breathing in his scent. His thumbs softly rubbed up and down your side, and you felt him press a soft kiss into your hair. You stayed like that for a minute, or maybe longer, relaxing into the embrace.

The sound of the apartment door slamming shut made you jolt, and you rolled your eyes as you realised that Luke had tried to sneak way unnoticed and failed miserably.

“Hi.” Jack whispered, pulling back from you slightly but keeping his hands locked around you.

“Hi.” You whispered back, reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes.

“Is it still shit hair? Or better now it’s longer?” Jack teased, rolling his tongue between his teeth.

“Better. But only slightly.” You teased back, your hands slipping down to the back of his neck comfortably.

The warmth of the surprise arrival was starting to fade. The dread you’d felt over addressing your fight with Jack was starting to set in, fast. The guilt you felt for being the catalyst for over a month for not speaking to your best friend was washing over you. Your heart rate was through the roof, and your palms were beginning to sweat.

Jack sensed your change in mood, and pulled away from you to look you up and down.

“Are you hungry? Do you want to shower? Or take a nap?” He was nervous, too.

“I ate before my flight. And showered this morning. And it’s 11am, so I think I’m good on the nap front. But I do think we should… we should talk. About everything.” You were basically tripping over your words at this point, but Jack’s reassuring nod helped to calm your nerves.

Wordlessly, Jack took your hand and led you over to the couch, gesturing for you to sit. You sat down and faced him, crossing your legs and resting your hands on your knees, still fidgeting with your hoodie sleeves.

“I’m sorry - “ You both said unanimously, a gentle laughter filling the room.

“I’m sorry I needed so much time apart, J. It fucking sucked, and it was my fault, and I just didn’t -” You began to ramble, only stopping when Jack leaned over and squeezed your knee reassuringly.

“You only needed that time because I was an asshole, sugar. It’s on me, really. I had no right to treat you like an occasional friend, or something that I shouldn’t prioritise -” Jack paused as you cringed, remembering the text messages that referred to his time with you as “boring family bullshit”.

“I was thinking with my dick, not with my head, and that’s not fair on anyone.” You shot Jack a weird look, and he looked sheepish in return.

“Quinn… Quinn said that to me. After you told him to tell me about the messages. He’s right, thought. It wasn’t fair.” Jack continued, pausing to take a deep breath.

“This whole… thing, this life -” Jack gestured broadly at the apartment around you, and you glanced around properly for the first time. Framed jerseys of Luke and Jack’s adorned the walls.Various photos of the Hughes family scattered about the place. The fridge, with a gas bill stuck to it, along with a polaroid of you and Jack from last Christmas. And a photo from your senior prom. And a group photo of everyone from last summer at the lake house, Jack’s mouth open in laughter with his arm slung over your bikini-clad shoulders.

“It’s all I thought I ever wanted. And it’s amazing, and I’m so grateful. But it’s worth nothing to me, the money, the girls -” You felt yourself involuntarily cringe again. “The fame, the accolades, it’s worth nothing to me without the people that I love by my side. And if those people don’t know how much I love and appreciate them, because I treat them like shit, then that’s on me. No one else. Me.”

You sat quietly, taking in Jack’s emphatic statement. You weren’t quite sure what to say. So instead, you gently reached over and took Jack’s hand in yours, lacing your fingers through his and squeezing softly, for a moment while you gathered your thoughts.

“I know the life you live, Jack. You don’t have to be sorry for it. Playing hockey was all you ever dreamed of, and I honestly can’t blame you for… enjoying… all the perks it comes with.” You swallowed the wave of nausea that hit you, before continuing.

“I don’t… I don’t know what life looks like without you in it. The last month was such a bizarre experience, and not one that I ever want to repeat, but I also… I need to… Can I be honest?” You spoke softly, glancing up from your hands to meet Jack’s gaze, and he nodded encouragingly at you.

“I wasn’t just upset because you made me feel like I was inconveniencing you, or cock-blocking you -” It was Jack’s turn to cringe. “I think I was upset because I was jealous. Because that will never, ever be me. And I think… I think I want it to be? Maybe? Fuck, I don’t know!” You dropped Jack’s hand and stood up from the couch, and started to pace the room.

“Sugar, please sit down.” Jack pleaded, and you paused, looking back at him on the couch. One look was all you needed, and you narrowed your eyes at the smirk on his dumb face.

“Why are you smirking? I am experiencing emotional distress, you asshole.” You seethed, running your hands through your hair in frustration.

“Tell me more about this jealousy thing. I’m intrigued.” Jack’s tone was light and teasing, and washed over you like sour milk. Your head whipped in his direction and your face must’ve said a thousand words, because Jack’s smirk soon disappeared and he hurriedly stood up and walked over, reaching out to touch you.

“See, this -” You jabbed a finger into Jack’s chest. “This is why I have avoided this conversation for almost my entire life. Because you think it’s hilarious that we could ever go down that path. That we could ever be something more than what we are. Because I’m not good enough,or pretty enough, or just enough and I never will be, and I hate it. I hate it so much.” Your voice cracked on the last few words, and you felt the hot tears start to bubble out of your eyes and stream down your face.

Jack didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. He pulled you into a hug, bringing his hand up to your face and gently brushing away the tears with his thumbs.

“Breathe, sugar. You need to calm down.” Jack said quietly, willing you to calm. That just made you cry harder.

You were about to pull away, when you felt Jack cup your face with both hands, before leaning in to kiss you.

#jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes one shot #new jersey devils #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #quinn hughes imagine #my writing #nhl fanfiction

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umseb · 2 months

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The Day Sebastian Vettel Decided To Retire From F1 — Then Annoyed Aston Bosses With Climate Campaign

Two years ago, Sebastian Vettel decided to bring an end to his glittering F1 career, so picked up the phone to Matt Bishop, then Aston Martin comms boss. He details the ensuing scramble and Vettel's increasing determination to speak out

Just over two years ago, on Wednesday July 27, 2022, I was forced to do something that I really hate doing: at the eleventh hour I had to cancel a long-standing dinner arrangement with my husband and two of our dearest friends, who live in New York and were on holiday in London for a week. The reason was that, at 5 pm that afternoon, I received a phone call from Sebastian Vettel telling me that he had decided to announce his retirement from Formula 1 in the Hungarian Grand Prix paddock the following day. I was Aston Martin's chief communications officer at the time, and, when something as big as that is sprung on a Formula 1 team's most senior comms/PR operative, he or she has to drop everything and focus on briefing colleagues in confidence, writing press releases, planning social media content, arranging press conferences, and formulating comms/PR strategies designed to optimise the management of a tricky news narrative that in this case would surely unfold rapidly, and perhaps also trickily, over the next 24, 48, 72, and 96 hours. I have written above that Vettel had "sprung" his decision on me, but, although the imminence of his announcement was a surprise, its content was not. Four months earlier you will recall that he did not travel to Jeddah for the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, since he was recovering from a bout of Covid-19. His place was taken by Nico Hülkenberg, who, despite race-rustiness caused by his not having competed in F1 the previous year, did a typically excellent job.

Seb had made no secret of his disapproval of the Saudi regime when we had all gone there the first time, in December 2021, and, not surprisingly, in March 2022 rumours soon began to spread to the effect that he had invented a Covid-19 diagnosis so as to avoid racing there a second time. The truth was that he had indeed had Covid-19, and that he was indeed still unwell; however, was he disappointed to have had to skip the 2022 Saudi Arabian Grand Prix? No, he was not. Two weeks later, in Melbourne, he was back. On the Thursday before the Australian Grand Prix, in the Albert Park paddock, I gave him his comms/PR briefing, as was my habit on the Thursday before every grand prix. We discussed media matters of moment, including his not having raced in Jeddah. "The truth is that I was ill, honestly," he said, "but I admit that I don't like or approve of the country, so if I was going to have to miss a race because of Covid-19 that's probably the one I'd want to miss." He paused, smiled, and added, "I'm pretty sure I'm never going to race there again." Then and there I realised that 2022 would probably be his final season as an F1 driver. Not only was the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix going to be a fixture on the F1 calendar for years to come, but also one of Aston Martin's principal sponsors was Aramco, Saudi Arabia's state-owned national oil company. Missing that particular race without a 24-carat excuse would henceforth therefore be impossible for any Aston Martin driver. So, axiomatically, it followed that the only way he could make sure that he would never have to race there again would be to retire from F1 at the end of the year.

On the morning of Thursday, July 28, 2022, having worked until 3 am the night before, my comms/PR team and I issued a video in which our much loved four-time world champion announced his F1 retirement in his own words, and he posted it on his then brand-new Instagram channel at the same time. It included the following sentences, which he spoke with his usual eloquence: "I love this sport but, as much as there's life on track, there's also life off track. Being a racing driver has never been my sole identity. I want to be a great father and a great husband. I believe in change, and progress, and that every little bit you do can make a difference. We all have the same rights, no matter where we come from, what we look like, or whom we love. I'm an optimist and I believe that people are good, but, in addition, I feel that we live in very difficult times. How we shape the next few years will determine the rest of our lives. Talk is not enough. We can't afford to wait. I believe that there's still a race to win." The race to which he was referring was his growing and accelerating commitment to doing whatever he could to leverage his fame and popularity for the good of the inhabitants of planet Earth. That may sound grandiose, but it is also entirely valid. In the two years during which I worked with him, 2021 and 2022, we won awards for the inspirational way in which he did just that.

Just before the 2021 Styrian Grand Prix, helped by local schoolchildren, he created an F1 car-shaped 'bee hotel' at the Red Bull Ring. Three weeks later, straight after the British Grand Prix, in which he had raced hard for forty laps until his Aston Martin's Mercedes engine had terminally overheated, he led a group of volunteer litter-pickers to clear the Silverstone grandstands of the trash that irresponsible spectators had left behind. A month after that, in Hungary, infuriated by that country's new anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, he wore rainbow-coloured sneakers in the F1 paddock, and he donned a similarly hued T-shirt bearing the legend #SameLove as he took the knee on the grid before the race. Throughout the weekend he had talked to journalists and TV crews intelligently, thoughtfully, and compassionately on the subject of LGBTQ+ rights, equality, and inclusion. In May 2022 he visited and spoke inspirationally at HMP (Her, or now His, Majesty's Prison) Feltham, a young offenders institution in a suburb of west London, formally opening a new workshop in which the teenage inmates could learn how to become car mechanics as part of their rehabilitation. Immediately afterwards he and I took a South Western Railways train to London's Waterloo Station, sitting among regular commuters, so that he could spend time with the pupils of Oasis Johanna Primary School, which is in a disadvantaged part of inner London, and after that we went by Uber taxi to a church in Hackney, in the East End, where the BBC's prestigious political television talk show Question Time would be filmed. As the TV cameras rolled, he conversed fluently on the subjects of Brexit, the UK's cost of living crisis, the then-Prime Minister Boris Johnson's 'partygate' shenanigans, and even Finland's desire to join NATO, consummately out-arguing one of his fellow panellists, Suella Braverman, who was then the Attorney General for England and Wales and the Advocate General for Northern Ireland.

In addition, as the months went by, he continued to speak out in support of what he saw as humankind's collective global responsibility to address the climate crisis, doing so with increasing regularity, vehemence, and fearlessness, with the result that he began to irritate the very most senior people at Aston Martin, even though what he said tended to please most journalists and fans. "I don’t care," he said when he learned of his big bosses' disquiet. "I must do what's right." Behind the scenes what he did was perhaps even more admirable. F1 teams receive communications from troubled people all the time. You try to do what you can to help them, but sometimes their difficulties are of the type that human kindness alone cannot resolve. I am thinking of recently bereaved people, terminally ill people, profoundly disabled people, people with debilitating mental health issues, etc. Sometimes all you can do is send them a team cap signed by a driver. It is not much, and it breaks your heart that you cannot do more, but it is better than nothing.

Yet Vettel always tried to do more. On one occasion, I had been contacted by a young man who was deeply depressed. I told Seb about him, and he said, "Let's do a Zoom call with him." So I arranged it. I had thought that Seb might speak for five minutes or so, but no. He chatted animatedly for more than twenty minutes, with touching humility and heart-warming empathy, and I feel confident when I say that those twenty-odd minutes were significant in expediting the lad's mental and emotional recovery. A few months later, Seb hand-wrote the boy a four page letter. He gave it to me at a grand prix-I cannot remember which one-and he instructed me to post it on when I returned to the UK. I read it before I did so, and the tenderness and beauty of Seb's prose brought me to tears. There are many other examples of his remarkable generosity and sensitivity: too many to mention, in fact. This column has been about Vettel the man, not Vettel the driver. He was fast and clever in the cockpit, and I may well write about that side of him one day. I could write much more about Vettel the man, too, for I have dozens of stories that I could tell on that subject, because I worked very closely with him for two years and, more importantly, because he is a truly great man. In my long career I am lucky enough to have spent time in F1 teams with four world champions-Seb, Lewis Hamilton, Fernando Alonso, and Jenson Button-and they are all fantastic guys in their own, very different, ways. But, in my 61 years on this planet, I can state with confident and emphatic certainty that Sebastian Vettel, from the small town of Heppenheim, south-west Germany, is one of the most impressive people whom I have ever had the pleasure and honour to know, whether that be inside or outside F1. As he is fond of saying, "You can't always be the best, but you can always do your best." As a maxim to live by, it is hard to beat.

article by matt bishop

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wc-m0ch4 · 2 years

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Shadow the Hedgehog x gn! Reader Headcanons

I watched all the Sonic Prime episodes in one day LMAO I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Anyways,

PROLOGUE HCS

As most hcs with this mf starts, it took forever for him to finally trust you, let alone get into a relationship with you

I mean, can you blame him really? He's lost a lot, he's gone through a ton of shit, it's kinda to be expected

He talked to Rouge one day about how he felt more comfortable around you than others and she teased him relentlessly

"Shadoooow, you like them?"

"I prefer them over others, if that answers your question. Why are you making that face?"

Lowkey funny thing, when it finally hits him that he liked you he tries to figure out why he likes you.

At first he thinks maybe it's your looks so he stares at you a lot trying to pinpoint what part of you he likes, but he's got a rbf so it concerns you gravely

"Shadow are you angry at Y/n?"

"No, of course not. Why?"

"You're kinda... glaring... at them..."

"Oh."

Then he theorizes that it must be something from your personality. So he starts asking you a ton of questions randomly, but like, theoretical questions

'What would you do if two of your best friends were drowning and you only had enough strength to save one?' Type questions y'know

Then he tries to see if it's something you do, like if you're 'useful'. So he keeps a mental tally of how many times you do something for him or others. When you pay for yours and Amy's lunch, when you give Sonic the rest of your bag of chips, when you hold the door open for Rogue, etc.

Finally he realizes that it's not something in particular, he just likes you

He reveals this revelation to Rouge and she snorts lmao

She sets up a whole date-confession-thing without either of your knowledge to get Shadow to confess

REAL TIME HCS

He's very quiet with his affection

He'll pat you on the head or back, give you a small smile, make you lunch, help you with some work, small things y'know

If you're a human and a lot taller than him he uses this to his advantage and climbs you so he can see more

^Some of the few times he will allow you to carry him

He'll text you updates about what he's doing and when he'll be home and expects you do the same

If you forget he'll scold you like a toddler lmao

Don't forget the skin-care routine and ironing the sheets every night according to the Twitter takeover LMAO (it should have been me)

He's not one for going out on dates but he does enjoy going to the library or the park with you, somewhere quiet with not a lot of people

Shadow would enjoy theatre all the way (I don't say this cuz I'm a theatre kid nope def not)

Also not a fan of PDA but he'll hold your hand or have a hand on your shoulder

He gets jealous easily lol

Like if someone starts talking or, God forbid, flirting with you he'll be standing right behind you glaring at them

His pet names are demeaning LMAO

Like how he calls Sonic 'hedgehog' it's the same for you

He'll call you more typical terms of endearment if it's laced with sarcasm

"Well, dear, if you had done like I said earlier this wouldn't have happened."

"I'm sorry, I should've known making toast was too difficult for you, darling."

Shadow has a phone and social media and the only reason is so you can send him memes you find funny to him

I like to imagine showing him a funny video and he just sits there staring at it for a bit before turning to you and going "This is hilarious."

If you're in college or work from home he'll help you with some of your work

Okay but imagine he's standing behind you helping you with homework and he leans over to grab a pencil or something and then you're pressed between him and the desk JAGFHEBAUWVDHJ– ANYWAYS

He likes keeping his space clean so if you're mentally ill like me (LMAOOO) or just messy in general he's willing to help you clean up

Just enough to keep him satisfied :)

Okay but imagine stay-at-home dates with him like:

Cooking dinner together

Laying your head on his lap while you two watch a movie

Playing games or doing puzzles

Speaking of games, game nights are a regular thing with the group and Rogue drags Shadow along so in turn he drags you along

I ask you to imagine a huge game of Uno between Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, Amy, Cream, Big, Team Chaotix, Rogue, Shadow, and you.

Yeah, fucking insanity.

If there's any game where you have to pair up Shadow immediately grabs you

Absolutely NO chance he's pairing with Sonic lol

Moving on, he likes playing with your hair

If you need help doing a complex or a protective hairstyle he's got you fr

If you wear makeup, whether it's natural or more bold, he will compliment it

He'd probably help you with your makeup too if you asked lol

On a more sad note, he has times where he gets upset about his past so just give him space or comfort, whatever he needs at the time

If he gets upset about Maria ask him about her. It helps talking about her in a positive light when she was alive than replaying her death on repeat

So if you have your own bouts of depression (*cough cough* me *cough*) he'll understand and try to help in any way he can

On a more happier note, he likes getting you gifts

Homie is a very gift giving/ acts of service type of lover fr fr

Btw dating Shadow means being friends with Rogue and Omega, no exceptions

Ugh sorry this took forever to make I'm really lazy lmao

Did you guys notice that Jacksepticeye voices a character in one of the later Sonic Prime episodes cuz I did and I almost SCREAMED–

Anyways, send in requests if you want :)

#fanfiction #sonic the hedgehog x reader #sonic x reader #sonic headcanons #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #shadow x reader #shadow the hedgehog x reader #shadow headcanons

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anemoiashifts · 4 months

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shifting tips / advice that don’t suck !

♡getting offline.

i know i know it’s hard, but being bombarded with different information about a certain topic can be so overwhelming & create room for overthinking which can effect performance. looking in places outside of shiftok or shiftblur or shift whatever. putting more effort into trying to figure out what something is instead of doing it will drive you insane because there is no answer to what shifting is. hence, “theories” & shared experiences. there is no concrete reasoning to shifting backed by science so don’t try & find them or you’ll be looking forever.

♡music.

did you know you can use music to manipulate memories ? the brain is so so bad at remembering things due to how much information we consume daily. when you visualize & listen to a sound or music, your brain can register that as a memory.

♡smell.

this one also aligns with the one above. smell is heavily tied to memory, also. by watching a show we are shifting to & pairing it with a certain scent like a perfume or candle, we can create a link between the two. then, spraying during shifting attempts can help us visualize & associate that piece of media with where we’re focusing on.

♡shadow work.

find out why you’re shifting. happiness ? you don’t need to shift for that. love ? you don’t need to shift for that. if you want to that’s fine but is shifting a bandaid for something deeper ? discover that. really think & consider where you’re going & if you’re in the right mentality to handle it. you aren’t in a television show episode or an oc, you’ll be a living human being in a very real & interactive world. figure out your intentions.

♡put in effort.

this may be a little obvious but you have to want to shift, to shift. you have to put in work & effort to shift & take another approach if doing the same method 10x over hasn’t worked for you. “we shift every second” sure but you didn’t shift into your desired reality in the past thirty. “im saying an affirmation & rolling over & hoping ill wake up in my dr” & how has that worked out for you ? just because this has maybe worked for other people, doesn’t mean it'll work for you. everyone is different. people require more time & effort to get something right then others just like subjects like art or english come easier to students.

♡perfection.

not everything has to be perfect. script isn’t completed ? so what ? you’ve been saying “im not ready yet” for the five months. don’t put off good things out of fear of them not being exactly how you want it because it will never be perfect because perfection isn’t real. if you don’t have everything figured out — that’s fine. why ? because life will sort itself out. this remains true right here & in your desired life. if it’s any comfort, everything will fall into place.

♡neutrality.

if you’re someone who wakes up after an attempt saying “i’ll never shift, i hate this reality” then you’re kinda sabotaging yourself in a way. your creating the mindset that this is the “bad” place when shifting is “good”. that’s not true. everything is entirely neutral until you define it as such. in addition, you are focusing more on the “haven’t” & giving that more attention to & what you give attention to will only grow until it’s so big you can’t see anything else.

♡listening.

people who want things don’t sit & complain about not having them, they persist & would do anything to get their desires & live in that reality. instead of saying “i didn’t shift” & sulking about it, take it as a learning experience to see what does & doesn’t work for you; your body is showing you what not to do so listen to yourself.

#desired reality #reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting #shiftok #shifting motivation #shifting realities #shifter

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me-loving-woso · 1 year

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Monthly visits.

Prompt: Honestly? I don’t know what this is, nor I know if it’s any good. The idea came from one of my midnight delusions when I think about stuff to write. Is this a kid fic? Yes? Kinda. Most probably. Do I care? No. Will there be sequels about it? Most probably. I still don’t know. Probably the sequels will feature more Alexia, but for now, you have to endure this 7.4k Drabble.

Actual prompt: In one of your monthly visits to a children’s hospital you meet Ava, she is going to change your life completely.

It was a hectic day for you in Barcelona today. Every month, whenever you had a day off, you would go to the local children’s hospital to support children with Leukaemia. Your younger brother had the same condition, so it has always been an important topic for you to support.

Every month you tried to convince one of your teammates, or from the girl’s team or the boys, to go with you. Usually, the children would go crazy if you brought them Pedri or Gavi. They would sign autographs and shirts and sometimes even get a ball and show off some of their tricks. When the club found out about this, they wanted to set up interviews and shootings in which they would broadcast or post your visits with them on social media, but you always said no. You liked this to be kept quiet, to not stress the kids, and not bring unwanted attention towards them; you weren’t there for the money, but just to give happiness to anyone you could.

You knew you weren’t the most famous athlete in the club, especially when you had the likes of Lewandowski, Pedri, and Gavi. On the girl’s side, you played for one of the most famous women’s soccer clubs and was one of the captains; well, if Alexia and Marta wouldn’t play in a game, which wasn’t very probable. But still, Alexia and Mapi were more famous than you; therefore, the children they tend to want their jerseys to be signed by them, but occasionally, some would recognize you, and you were delighted in signing and taking pictures or carefully playing with them whenever they wanted to.

You tried not to get too attached to the kids as you knew that they still had a deadly illness. Initially, it was hard, especially when you asked a nurse about a kid, and they would just give you a sad look. You would come home from the day and lay in your bed, absently trying to make sense of it. You hated seeing children suffer.

But there was a girl you met 5 months ago; she was brilliant but also a little prick. Her name was Ava. The first month you saw her, you brought with you Pedri. He was like a little brother to you, you got along great, and he was great with kids.

You went into her room, she was super excited to meet you both that she even asked for a double autograph. At first, you were confused by the request, but then you figured that the second autograph would be for a friend or a family member. So you went on normally with your day. The kids were all happy, you played Fifa with them and then, when it was time to leave, you decided to say goodbye to all of them. As you entered Ava’s room, you saw her working on something with her computer. As soon as she saw you, she shut it down very quickly.

“What are you doing?” You smile, walking to her. You were curious as to what she was doing. She was eight, so you knew that whatever it was, it was going to be something funny.

“Nothing!” She says quickly, hiding her computer behind her back.

You started to gently tickle her sides, conscious of her weak state. She started laughing, but soon you stopped and got her computer.

“If you open it, I will cry, and you will never come here ever again!” She threatens me, pouting.

“Why don’t you want to show it to me? Is it a secret boyfriend?” You smirk suggestively.

“No! Ew! Boys are gross!” She exclaims disgusted.

“I agree with you.” You say. “Boys are gross.”

“You can’t see it! It’s - It’s a secret.” She says, trying to grab the computer from you.

“Oh, come on! I’ll tell you one of my secrets if you tell me.” You try to convince her.

“Okay, but promise me that you won’t get mad.”

“Pinky promise.” You say, putting up your pinky and waiting for her to do the same.

You slowly open the screen and see a tab with eBay. She posted one of the two autographs she received today, with a picture of you and Pedri signing it. You start laughing and looking at her, amused.

“You sneaky little child! You are selling them?” You chuckle.

She crossed her arms unamused and replied as if it was the most obvious thing, “One is for me, and one is to sell.”

You look at her with a questioning look.

“My sister told me that I can’t buy too many books and video games because they are too expensive, so I buy them myself.”

“You are a little businesswoman.”

“Shh, you can’t tell anyone, especially my sister. She would get so mad. She hates it when I do this kind of stuff!”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Again?” You chuckle.

“Yes.” So you promise, then you stand up from the side of her bed and are about to leave when she asks, “Will you come back?”

“I come every month,” You say, turning around to face the little girl.

“If I’m already better, can I come here just to see you?” She asks shyly, hiding her mouth with her hands.

“Of course, you can!” You say goodbye to her and leave the hospital, waiting for Pedro. When you see him, you both get in the car.

“You know, today, I saw Ava again, and I saw her selling our autographs on the internet.” You laugh.

“That girl is sneaky!” He replies.

“She even insisted and made me promise not to say anything to anybody.”

Over the next three months, whenever you saw her, you would wink at her and make whoever was with you that day sign a double autograph for her. Then when you finished staring with the other kids, you would go into her room, and you guys would talk and play with cards. You would always question why she would never talk about her parents but only about her bigger sister and how great she was. You weren’t expecting her to be sixteen when you finally meet her. Her name was Lucia. You saw her as you were about to say goodbye to Ava. You went into her room, but she was already asleep, and Lucia was sitting on a chair next to her.

You thought both girls were sleeping, so you quietly left the room, but as you were about to close the door, you heard a quiet whisper.

“You must be y/n.” She states, rather than asking. She stands up and walks to you.

“Yes, that’s me. Are you Ava’s sister?”

“You know, she always talks about you.” She says, whispering and closing the room behind her.

“She always talks to me about you.” You say. “I think that as of right now, I know more about you than myself.” You try to joke, but she doesn’t laugh, leaving an awkward silence between you. Making you notice how tired she looks, as if she hadn’t slept in a long while.

“Do you want a cup of tea or coffee?” You offer.

“Nah, don’t worry.” She shrugs.

“Come on, I’ll pay for it. Five minutes, then I’ll get out of your hair.”

She slowly nods and then follows you to the cafeteria, which is open 24/7. Thankfully there was nobody there, so you could sit in peace.

You follow her as she sits down at a table, and then she breaks the silence.

“Why are you helping her?” She whispers.

“What?”

“Listen, I don’t know your intentions here, but she is really getting attached to you, and whenever you are done with these ‘trips’ to the hospital for the kids, she will suffer from it, and I don’t want that.”

“What are yo-“

“She has already lost so many people in her life; she doesn’t need another one.”

“Your parents are not in the picture anymore, right?” You ask.

She slowly nods. “It’s just me and her for now.”

“Where are you guys staying?”

“As you know, she is staying at the hospital.” She says as if she is stating the obvious.

“You?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Listen, I know what it’s like to be in this situation; let me-”

“No, you don’t know that!” She says defensively.

“Ten years ago, I was you.” You slowly explain. “My brother, Nico, had Leukaemia, and I was in the same position as you. I was just a little bit older and could work. My parents didn’t give a shit about us. They said it was too much work to take care of Nico and wanted me out of the house because I was a footballer and gay. I didn’t have a support system. I was the support system.”

You take a deep breath and then continue. “Fortunately, I had a job, so I was able to take care of Nico and I, but not everyone is that lucky.”

“So you are saying that you feel bad for us?” She asks rhetorically, standing up from her chair, ready to leave.

“No, I don’t. When I started these ‘trips,’ as you say, five years ago, I told myself that I would never get too attached to any of the patients. But then I met Ava, and she is so smart and also a little sneaky, I grew fond of her.” You give her a light smile and continue.

“I know that the money she gets from selling autographs, t-shirts, and stuff, isn’t for buying books and video games, as she says, but for you guys to survive. I would love to help in any way. And I know that you probably won’t trust me. I wouldn’t trust a stranger either.”

Lucia sits again and looks at the table, playing with her drink. Looking almost guilty, as if you found out about a secret no one was supposed to know.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She barely utters, breaking the cold and defensive mask that she put on with you.

You slowly take her wrist, trying to reassure her. “You are stronger than you think.”

“I’m just so tired. She deserves better than me. She deserves a whole family. A better support system, and instead, she got stuck with me. I still need to finish school. I don’t have a paying job; how will we go through this?” She starts to silently sob. Hearing her cries breaks your heart; you stand up and circle around the table to hug her.

“You are already doing a great job. Ava is so proud and thankful for you. You are already doing the best you can, which is more than enough.”

She removes herself from the hug. And you continue, “Where are you staying? Not Ava, but you.”

“I’m staying during the night at a local women’s shelter. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s the best option.” She says shyly.

You couldn’t let her get back there.

“Come to my home with me. We have a spare bedroom, food, and whatever you need.”

She takes two steps back. “No no. You are already doing more than enough for us. This is too much.”

“Let me help you. You won’t leave her for too long. You need to rest too, so you can be there for her. Come on, go get your stuff. I’ll wait for you here.”

She just nods and goes to her sister’s room.

In the meantime, you text your girlfriend Alexia that Lucia will stay at your house for the night. After a few minutes, she reappears with a backpack. you exit the hospital and get to the parking lot.

You get inside your car, and she sits beside you. “I live fifteen minutes from here. I hope you are not scared of dogs because you are going to see one.”

“I don’t have a problem with dogs. I didn’t even know you owned one. Ava didn’t tell me anything about that.”

“Well, it’s not technically mine. It’s my girlfriend’s. And you will probably see her too.”

“Is she okay with me staying? Cause if that’s not the case, it’s okay.” She soon rambles.

“Don’t worry, she knows. Most probably, she won’t even know you are there. She is a sleepy head.” You smile, remembering how Alexia would never get out of bed if not for training.

“Is she a footballer too?”

“Yeah, it’s Alexia Putellas. I think you know her.”

“Oh my god! So the rumors are true.”

“Well, we tried to hide it.” You remark, slightly blushing, thinking that you actually hid your relationship well from the media.

“Not that much.” She laughs.

As soon as you get home, Alexia greets both of you.

“Que tal, mi amor?” She hugs you instead of kissing you and then focuses on Lucia.

“You must be Lucia. Hi, my name is Alexia.”

“Yeah, I know who you are. Here in Barcelona, everybody knows you.” She chuckles while your girlfriend blushes lightly.

You take her to your guest room and show her the bathroom. She takes a shower while you go to your kitchen, searching for Alexia.

You sit on top of the counter and ask her to come closer to you. She finds herself between your legs while you take hold of her shirt.

“I believe you owe me a kiss.”

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t know if you told her we were together or even if you wanted to kiss me in front of her.”

“Don’t worry, Amorcito.” You cutely rub her nose with yours, then put your finger to your lips, asking her to kiss you.

She kisses you sweetly, then gives you pecks everywhere on your face. First on the cheeks, then on the nose, on the forehead, and finally on the lips again. You smile at the action. Even though you had been together for three years now, she still managed to make you feel all fuzzy on the inside with even the smallest actions.

When she finished, you hugged her and stayed in her embrace until you heard a door open, and Lucia came down the stairs.

“Sorry to interrupt you guys.” She says awkwardly. “I just wanted to thank you guys again and say goodnight.” She quickly goes up the stairs, embarrassed to have interrupted something, not letting either of you reply.

“Go to the nena; I’ll get ready for bed.” Alexia encourages you.

You get to the guest room and knock on the door; you hear a faint ‘come in’ so you enter.

“I’m sorry I interrupted you guys.” She says she had her back on the head board, with the covers tucked to the stomach.

“You weren’t interrupting anything.”

“Thank you for letting me stay today. You really didn’t have to.”

“Nonsense, I’m happy you stayed. Honestly, I really needed some new energy around the house. Don’t tell Alexia, but sometimes living with her it’s like living with a granny.” You joke, earning a laugh from her, while you hear from the other room, “I heard you!”

“Ooh, she’s mad.” Lucia teases you.

“Nah, don’t worry, I said worse in three years of relationship.” Now turning back to serious, “Listen, I’m really sorry, but tomorrow I have training early tomorrow and-“

“Y/n, just tell me when I have to leave.”

“You can stay until you want; I can call you a taxi or take you to the hospital whenever me or Alexia come back from training.”

“I’ll be out of your hair in no time, don’t worry.”

“I don’t care, honestly. I know reaching out for help is difficult, but here is my phone number; if you need anything, just call me.” You gave her a note with your phone number, then affectionately caressed her cheek. “Good night Lucia.” You close the guest room door, turn off the light, and go to your room.

As soon as you enter your room, you are met with your girlfriend, who is cutely pouting on the edge of the bed. “I’m not a granny!”

“Yes, you are! You always go to bed early and make weird faces when you can’t see properly.” You tease her.

“I’m a footballer!”

“Yes, you are! A pretty darn good one!” You add. While literally pushing her onto the bed and getting on top of her.

“Get off me!” She says, trying to be serious. “I’m still mad at you!” She says while trying to squirm out of your grip.

“Nope! I’m sorry for calling you a granny. Will you forgive me?”

“Never!” She says, so you begin to tickle her sides. She started laughing while trying to remove your hands from her, but she couldn’t. “Okay, okay, I forgive you! Stop it!” You stop tickling her and get off her going to the bathroom.

You get ready for bed, putting on one of her nike shirts and a pair of soccer shorts, and then you plop on the bed beside Alexia. “Can I have cuddles, Amorcito?” You ask while stretching your arms, opening and closing your hands.

“Si, mi chiqui. Come here.” You put yourself on top of her and begin giving her sweet pecks in the middle of her chest. “No funny business tonight; la nena is sleeping two rooms from us.”

“I wasn’t going to do anything.” You say, continuing while smiling.

“I’m very proud of you today, Y/n.”

“I’m really sorry if I didn’t tell you beforehand.”

“Look at me.” She says, waiting for you to look at her.

“You did what is right and what everyone should do. Whatever you do, I will always support you.”

You give her a loving kiss on the lips, thanking her for the words. “Next month I’m coming with you. It’s been long overdue, and I want to meet Ava.”

The next day you wake up and go to see Lucia; you knock at her door, but she doesn’t reply, so you slowly enter the room. You found all of the bedsheets neatly folded and a note that thanked you for everything. You were a little disappointed, but you knew how difficult it was to trust people and accept help, especially when you are alone. You figured that she probably went to see her sister in the hospital.

The following month you finally brought Alexia with you. The kids would always ask you to bring her to the hospital, but unfortunately, she never had the time to do that with her busy schedule. You had already informed the hospital that you would come, and the children were thrilled to do something different rather than always boringly watching tv or reading some children’s book.

As Alexia greeted all the kids and played and joked with them, you went to see Ava, hoping that you would see Lucia too. You didn’t expect to see everything packed up and the two girls with their backpacks on, ready to go.

As soon as she saw you, Ava ran up to you, and you lifted her weak body, giving her a hug. “The doctor said I can go home now! I’m not sick anymore!”

“I’m so happy!” You say while hugging her a little tighter.

“So, who is it today? Who did you bring today?” She asks you excitedly.

“Why don’t you go and find out?” You say, indicating where Alexia is; she quickly squirms out of your embrace, exiting the room and leaving you alone with Lucia. Her eyes stuck to the floor from the moment you opened the door. She wouldn’t look at you.

“I’m really happy that she is finally healthy now,” You say honestly.

“That’s the most important thing.” She agrees weakly, finally looking at you.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling better now that she is better.”

“Where will you guys stay now?”

She hesitates, but then slowly, she starts, “I do-“

“Lucia! Look who came today with y/n!” Suddenly Ava came inside the room, dragging Alexia with her.

“Hi, Lucia.” Alexia waves at her, then focus again on Ava. “Y/n, how did you manage to convince Alexia to come here today?” Ava asks you in awe. “She is soo famous and the best player in the whole world!”

“I know! She really wanted to come, though, right?” You say, searching for Alexia’s confirmation. “Yes, of course!” She says, then kneeling in front of the small kid, “Y/n talks a lot about you.” She whispers, “She never talks about you, though,” She remarks, smirking. Alexia puts her hand on her hand, pretending to be offended.

“Who cares? I’m still better than her at football,” She whispers loud enough for you to hear, then sending you a cheeky wink; you react by poking your tongue out at her. This made Alexia earn a laugh from Ava and a chuckle from Lucia. She then drags Alexia out of the room, asking her if she could show her a trick with the ball.

“She’s her favorite player; our dad always brought us to your games.” She says sadly.

“I didn’t know you liked football.”

“I loved football, I even used to play it until a year ago, but now it brings out too many memories, so no football for me for a while.” She chuckles.

“Which position did you play?”

“Guess.”

“Center back?”

“Nah, striker.”

“Oh wow! I’m sure you were the top scorer in your team.” You nod, surprised.

“I was, I even was called up in La Masia, but my parents wanted me home, and then Ava got sick, so I never was able to go.”

“Oh wow! You were good then!”

“Don’t act too surprised!” She says, teasing you, hitting you on the shoulder.

“I’m not!” You say rubbing where she just hit you “If the circumstances were different, would you have wanted to go?”

“Yes? I guess, I don’t know? I loved football.”

“Not anymore?”

“I haven’t played in so long; I don’t think I even remember how to kick a ball.” She chuckles.

“Well, I guess we have to find out!” You say, while she looks at you puzzled.

“Come on, go get your stuff.” You say to her while putting your backpack on your shoulders, waiting for her to do the same.

“Where do you want to take me?” She says, looking at you puzzled.

“Don’t you wanna show off your skills?”

“I guess I don’t?”

“Come on, it will be fun!” You try to convince her.

“I don’t have cleats.” She tries to find an excuse.

“What’s your shoe size?”

“39, why?”

“I have the same size. If you want, you can use a spare pair of mine.” You offer.

“Why are you so nice to me?”

“I’m not being nice; this is me trying to show you that you, too, deserve to be happy, and you can have fun even if you think you don’t deserve it.”

“I-I don’t know what to say. I can’t leave her alone in the hospital; that girl has too much energy for a cancer patient.” She jokes.

“I think Alexia is keeping her busy enough. I genuinely think she is trying to steal my girlfriend from me.” She’s still not convinced. “Besides joking, Alexia is really good with kids, and she wouldn’t mind, but if it bothers you, we can bring her with us. Or they can come later on.”

“Oh, definitely, later on, I won’t embarrass myself with Alexia Putellas; I don’t think I could recover from that.”

“Oh, thank you! You know I am too a Barça player, right? And that I was the one that scored the winning goal in the last champions league, right?” You fake being offended.

“Oh, it was merely a tap-in.” She jokes, trying to rile you up. You knew she was joking, but you also knew this was a low blow to your confidence.

“Patri was the real hero in that Final, and I guess it was a tap-in, but it still brought us to the victory; that’s got to be worth something.”

“You know Ava basically woke up the whole floor when you scored that goal; she was so happy.” She smiles at you, quickly reminiscing that memory.

“Well, I can show you that I can score goals that are not tap-ins if you come with me.”

“Let’s see if you can do that!” She challenges you.

“If you win, I will get you two tickets to Camp Nou next year for every match you want to see, but if I win, you will let me help you.” You hesitate to say those words, hoping you wouldn’t push her away.

“Prepare to spend a lot of money because I never give up.” She teases you.

“You have some confidence, pequeña.”

“I’m not small!”

“Come on, go and say goodbye to Ava; we’ll leave in five minutes.”

As she exits the room to find Ava, you wait in there for her when you see your girlfriend appear from the door.

“Ava is wonderful.” She says while taking your hands.

“So wonderful that you would stay with her for another couple of hours?” You try while she gives you a puzzled look.

“What did you do, Y/n?” She asks, removing her hands from yours.

You tuck your arms behind your back, and shyly, you explain. “I’m taking Lucia to the field. Apparently, she played football, so I want her to have fun for a minute.” She doesn’t reply, so you continue, “But if it’s too much, I can bring her with me and Lucia, no problem. I just-“

“You are rambling, mi amor.” She says while grabbing you by the waist, trying to ground you. “You go have fun with her. I will come to the field after so we can play together.” She offers while smiling at you.

You give to get on your tippy toes and give her a small peck on the lips, “Thank you, Amorcito.”

“Just don’t have too much fun without me.” She grins, giving you a forehead kiss. You hear steps coming your way; you turn your head and see Lucia and Ava looking at you.

“You two are disgusting,” Lucia says, giving you guys a disgusted face while you just laugh at her. Ava instead looks at the two of you, trying to understand what the relationship is between the two of you. She looks at you and asks, “Is Alexia your wife?”

You choke on saliva, not expecting that question. After a mild coughing session, you received an annoying look from Alexia and Lucia.

Not that you didn’t want to marry her because she was the only woman you could see yourself growing old with, but you were just waiting for the right moment to propose. Honestly, you didn’t even know if she wanted to get married, especially to you.

You reply, “No, no, she is my girlfriend.”

“Wow, how did you land her?” She asks you curiously.

“Why is everybody bullying me today?” You say exasperatedly without even replying to the question. “Lucia, are you ready to go?”

After saying goodbye, you get in the car with Lucia and drive to the training facility.

“So I guess you don’t like the idea of getting married?” Lucia asks, breaking the silence.

“No no, it’s not that. I would love to get married, especially with someone like Alexia; she is incredible and so supportive.” You take a deep breath. “Do you want to know a secret?”

“Wait, are you going to propose?” She asks excitedly.

“I was planning to!”

“Oh my god!”

“Don’t you dare tell her! Or I swear I’ll get mad.”

“I won’t” She makes the movement of zipping her mouth with her hand and throwing the key away.

You get to the training facility a few minutes later; the field is closed, so Lucia looks at you and asks, “If it’s closed, how can we enter?”

“Can you keep another secret?” She nods, and you take out a key and unlock the door. “I was drunk after we had won our first Champions League, I don’t know why, but I decided I wanted the keys to the field, so I convinced Mapi and Patri to help me. Let’s just say that Alexia had to come out and help us because we were too drunk to keep quiet, and she didn’t want me to get in trouble. I got the keys, made two other copies for my accomplices, and slept on the couch for two days, but it was well worth it.” You say proudly.

“You know, when I imagined what you were like, when we would see you on tv or at the stadium, I pictured you differently.” She smiles at you while following you to the changing rooms.

“How did you picture me?” She asked curiously while handing her a spare pair of cleats.

“They call you the asesina silenciosa for a reason, you know?” While putting on the cleats, she continues, “You are always so cold and precise on the pitch, scoring and assisting in so many games, whereas in real life, you are basically the opposite. You are very nice, and you always try to help everybody, and a literal gay panic in front of Alexia; it’s so funny and very painful to see.”

“She’s just very beautiful and amazing, okay? Leave me alone.” You reply shyly, blushing a little.

“So, are you ready to get your ass beaten?” She asks you jokingly.

“You know that I’m a professional athlete, right? I get paid to play football.”

“Don’t get too cocky, Y/ln.”

You get on the pitch and begin passing the ball to each other; initially, she was a little rusty, but as soon as she got comfortable with the ball, you knew she had a lot of talent and potential.

“So favorite player?” You ask her.

“Messi. He’s just way too good and so great to watch.” She answers. “What about you?”

“All-time favorite, of course, is Messi too, but right now, I really enjoy seeing playing Rodri and De Bruyne.”

After passing the ball to each other and chatting, you begin doing some shooting drills and dribbling. You were shocked, to say the least; she was so good, she dribbled with ease, and her finishing skills were incredible.

The first time she dribbled past you, your ego got scarred for life, but then as time went on, you began cheating a little by holding her shirt or picking her up from the air and moving her whole body away from the ball. She would get mad at you, while you would just laugh it out, but she began to do the same thing to you after a while. By the end, you were laughing on the ground, trying to catch your breath.

As you both calmed down, she began talking. “I really missed it.”

“Playing football?”

“Yes, and having fun. You know, I couldn’t even touch a ball after our parents left us; my dad was the one that loved soccer and Barcelona maybe more than anything, probably more than his family. I tried playing soccer to make him proud of me so that maybe he could see and pay attention to me, but I guess it wasn’t enough. After Ava was diagnosed with Leukaemia, they told me they would have to go on a ‘work trip,’ but they never returned. And I stopped playing football.”

“I hope that this didn’t bring back bad memories. I know how it feels when you think you are not good enough, but if it helps, you are a great kid, Lucia. In these last months, you have proven yourself to be more than enough for Ava and your parents. Any parent would be proud of what you did for Ava; not everyone is capable of that or willing to do it. You have proved everyone wrong. You couldn’t be more proud of yourself.”

“Thank you, I really needed to hear that.” She breaks down crying.

“Come here.” You say to her while gently holding her while she cries. “Let it all out; I’m here for you.” After a few minutes, she stops; you keep hugging her, waiting for her to let go of you, when you hear a car arrive. “Your sister is here. Do you want me to come with you to freshen up?”

“No, no. I can go alone; just tell them I went to the bathroom.” She informs you.

“Will do, captain.” You say, giving her the military salute; she replies with a surprised chuckle and a ‘you’re so weird.’

As Alexia gets inside the pitch, you see Ava running towards you, giving you a crushing hug that makes you stumble from your sitting position on the grass to falling to your back on the ground.

“How did it go with Alexia? Did she behave well?” You ask the little girl.

“We stayed at the hospital, we played games and I pranked a nurse!” You hear the voice of Lucia from behind you, so you tell her sister to go to her and cheer her up. As she walks to her sister, Alexia sits next to you, and you turn to her.

“You are really good with kids.” She remarks.

“You too, you know. Would you ever want kids?” You ask her.

“I never thought about it, but I think it would be something I would like with you.”

“I think I need to help them. They deserve to have a house and a support system. Lucia is so smart and kind, and fierce. While, Ava is so full of energy, funny, and sneaky.”

“I love you, Y/n, and even though this is too early and I still haven’t fully processed every-“

“It’s too much for you. I get it. But they’ll be on the streets if I don’t help them. You must understand why I’m doing this, but I can’t do this without you.”

“We’ve been by each other’s sides for years; you think I’m gonna leave now? If you’d let me finish, Y/n, I would have told you to do it. I will always support you, and I kinda got attached to the Nena. So go through with it; you have my full support.”

“If it actually happens, our lives are going to change drastically, would you be ready for that?”

“I got you all for myself for three years; it’s time to expand our little family. Of course if they want to. Don’t push too hard; she is still scarred and scared to trust again. Be cautious.”

“I don’t know how I got so lucky.” You say beaming at her.

“I’m the lucky one.” She smiles while gently rubbing my thigh and then standing up.

She goes to Lucia and asks her if she wants to play some football with her; she is hesitant at first, but after a bit of convincing from you and Alexia, she eventually decides to play with her, but you know that she is holding back.

Alexia knew that something was wrong. Hence, she took the ball into her hands, and stopped the little competition that they were doing, “I’m not made of glass; you can play harder on me, you know.” She offers.

Lucia throws her hands in the air, “I’m not going to be the reason why La Reina got injured again.”

“I’m taller and stronger than you; you won’t injure me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” She chuckles while they return to playing, Lucia clearly getting more physical.

You laughed at their interaction and how Lucia worried about hurting Alexia;.while Alexia just wanted to have fun. After a while of playing, Alexia turned her head to you, mouthing the words “She’s good”, you respond by nodding approvingly, shifting your focus on the little child next to you, who at the moment was very quiet.

“Did you get your autograph from Alexia?” You ask her, trying to break the silence.

She slowly nods, still looking at her sister, then turns to you. “Yes, only one, though.”

“You didn’t want one for you?”

“No, I only got one for me; I didn’t want to sell hers.” You see her softly yawn, trying to keep open her eyes.

“Did you have fun today?”

She nods, then looks again at her sister, who was trying to dribble past Alexia, “I hadn’t seen her that happy since before I got sick.” She smiles like a proud sister, showing signs of her tiredness again.

“Are you tired?” You ask her.

“No.” She says defensively while crossing her arms, yawning again. You chuckle at her, finding it adorable how she tries to hide how much she wants to sleep.

“Yes, you are!” You say, poking her side. “You can nap if you want; I’ll watch out for your sister for you.” You offer.

She slowly nods and then moves near you; you didn’t expect her to sit between your legs, curling on your chest. You were shocked; you didn’t know what to do, so you just put your hands on her tiny body and rubbed her back. “You’re comfier than the grass.” She says, dozing off to sleep. You kiss the top of her head and then whisper, “Go to sleep, Nena.” And she did.

You were physically in a very weird position, as you knew that you would be getting cramps in a couple of minutes, while mentally, you couldn’t nor remember the instance of ten years ago when you were holding your brother in the same position you were with Ava. She reminded you of Nico, both of them had the same personality and were too smart for their age.

Trying to get more comfortable, you slowly sink to the ground from your sitting position. At the same time, Ava gently stirs, repositioning herself, fisting your shirt with her tiny hand, not wanting you to let go, even though you wouldn’t go for the world. After a few minutes, you doze off and get woken up by a light caress on your cheek. You slowly open your eyes, Ava is still sleeping soundly, and on your side, Alexia is waiting for you to wake up.

“Mi Chiqui is getting dark outside; we need to leave.” You slowly get up, still Ava in your arms, spoiler alert: you couldn’t feel your arms and back anymore. She gently stirs awake, “Shhh, go back to sleep.” You whisper to her, still rubbing her tiny back. She was so small for a six-year-old.

You see Lucia, she was taking your cleats off her feet; putting on her shoes again. You give Ava to Alexia, and then you walk up to her. “I’m sorry she had to sleep on you; I-I was just too caught up playing that I didn’t even notice she was tired. I’m really sorry.” She tries to explain.

“Hey, don’t apologize; you were having fun, and she was just tired after a long day. And now look! She stole my girlfriend again.” You say sincerely while trying to joke in the last part, pointing at Alexia, who was rocking Ava in her arms, showing off one of her big smiles reserved for children and for the people she loves.

Then you turn to her and ask her, “Are you hungry?”

“Oh yeah, I’m starving. I haven’t run that much in months.” Then she backtracks. “Oh, wait. I knew what you were doing; you are trying to manipulate me into eating with you guys.” She asks, clearly understanding your intentions.

“Manipulate is a big word, isn’t it? I guess you can call it offering to eat something with us?”

“Nah, the right word is definitely manipulate or gaslight.” She remarks.

“Well, do you want to come with us?”

“I don’t know; I must get her to bed.”

“Where are you guys staying, if I can ask?”

“You already know the answer. And don’t you dare ask me to stay with you. That is too much, and I wouldn’t know how to repay you. I can deal with everything on my own.”

You knew she wouldn’t budge on that one, but you had to give it to her; she knew your actions before you said anything.

“Why don’t we just eat something and figure everything out later?” You offer.

So you did that; you brought Lucia and Ava into your home, ordered take-out, and put on a movie to watch. Alexia and Ava were petting Nala, which in the beginning, the little dog hid in your room, but progressively through the night, she slowly got accustomed to the new people and gladly accepted the cuddles that the younger girl had given her.

The scene that was before your eyes oddly felt really domestic. Most nights with Alexia, if they weren’t spent out with friends, would include snuggling on the couch and relaxing; the only difference was that there were two new other people now.

You tried not to get too attached to them and tried not to act as a parent but more like someone that could help. They already had parents, and you for sure didn’t want to replace them. You just wanted to give the help you weren’t given when it happened to you, so if some food and a roof were needed, you wouldn’t hesitate to share that and maybe a little love here and there.

Ava was asleep, and Alexia was about to, so you tried to get the attention of Lucia so you could talk to her. You went outside on the porch with her so you wouldn’t disturb Ava from her much-needed sleep.

“Thank you for today, I really appreciated everything you did for us, but I think we have to get going.”

“You can always stay here.” You offer while she tries to dissuade you. “Listen, if it’s a problem to stay with us, I can book you a hotel room, but please let me help you find accommodation. I would love for you to stay until you find a better place. Ava can start school, while you could go and play in La Masia, or finish school and go to university, or both, whichever you prefer.And I know I’m not your mother, nor your relative, I’m just a stranger, but it wouldn’t sit well with me to let you guys leave somewhere that maybe it’s not even safe.”

“I don’t want to be a burden. And you don’t owe me anything.” She scratches her forehead, thinking, “Why are you even doing this?”

“What?”

“Why are you helping us?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I just know that I would love to help you in every way you let me. And you can always tell me to fuck off. But I hope you don’t” She chuckles, and for the first. The time she looks at you. “So what do you think?”

She remained silent for a while, while you patiently waited for her to reply, hoping it would be a positive answer. “Only until I can find a better solution for us. Plus, Ava already loves it here and loves you. When she saw you for the first time, she kept gushing about you and how you were her second favorite player, the first being Alexia” You chuckle. “And maybe living in a real house is better than waiting for social workers to find another accommodation.” She shyly adds. “I think you should ask Alexia if it’s okay for her too; I don’t want to get in the middle of you too.”

“She’s okay with it. She loves kids, and believe me, in a matter of days, she’s going to turn all protective, especially with Ava; she always had a soft spot for kids. As for the social workers, let me handle it, okay? I’ll try my best to make it as quick as possible.” She slowly nods and whispers a ‘thank you,’ taking you by surprise and hugging you. It took you a second to react, but soon you tightened the embrace, waiting for her to leave it.

“Probably, it’s going to be much of a burden for you rather than us.” You chuckle, “When our friends and Alexia’s family and my brother find out that we have two new people in our home, they’ll want to meet you. But I’ll take care of it.” You explain.

She removes herself from your embrace and looks at you. “Can I come to your games too? I miss being at the stadium.” She asks shyly.

“Oh, you must!” Your jokes. “I expect you to come every week with my jersey on.” You grin, pointing at her.

“We’ll see about that. I also like some other players in the squad, like Mapi Leon or Caroline Graham Hansen.” She playfully smirks.

“Then I don’t think I can give you any tickets.” You fake being offended. “Now go to your sister and take her to bed.” You grin, winking at her.

“Yeah, yeah. Thank you y/n.”

#woso imagine #woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #woso fic

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misskattylashes · 4 months

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Okay, I’m going to do it. I have been holding back and just telling my closest fandom friends my crazy theory, but what the hell. Most of you think I’m batshit anyway.

Here we go.....

What if we have been on the receiving end of a long played out psyop and Louise has been a way to make the public want Milex?

Okay, hear me out...

It’s 2017/8 Alex has abandoned Miles after EYCTE. He has gone to France to write and record TBHC, having realised their little TLSP bubble could never last (see Star Treatment). Without Alex, Miles is a little lost and lonely in LA. His reputation is also at rock bottom after the journalist incident. Miles decides he wants to move back to England, and Alex decides he wants to move back to, as we know they can never be more than a few minutes away from each other

Taylor either wouldn’t or couldn’t leave LA, so she and Alex break up. But they need a new girlfriend to keep up the straight image (especially with the new badly-received album and a world tour about to begin). On the original version of OPP as seen on the AM in Mexico video, over the turtle segment Alex sings ‘One More Year I’ll Call It Quits’ maybe the plan was to give it all up,but he had signed a contract to do another album and tour after TBHC, and with Miles’ reputation so bad, if they were together then they would both be cancelled.

So a European girlfriend is found and this is where the subterfuge begins. We start with old Instagram posts with tags like #alexturnerwillyoumarryme, then we get professionally shot videos of her backstage at AM’s concert (all the time Alex is ‘still with’ Taylor) so as soon as they launch, the first image of Louise the public get is a negative one, as a fangirl who has set out to get Alex, not caring if he cheats in his current girlfriend.

Before I list the reasons why I think she is fake, can I say this idea he has stayed with her as punishment for cheating on Taylor is absolutely ridiculous. Men who are serial cheats aren’t known for wearing hairshirts. Especially when you’re a handsome, wealthy rock star who could easily get another girlfriend.

So, the idea is, Louise is the most unpleasant person who makes Alex miserable, and if most people are honest, they want Alex to be happy..

So, let’s look at the evidence..(where there is a * it means there is a Miles counterside)

Louise doesn’t work. She claims to be a feminist, but her job seems to be being Alex’s girlfriend.

She openly copies selfies posed by previous girlfriends, making her look like she has no personality of her own

She boasts in her IG posts ie the ‘we just fucked’ pic and the panties on the piano.

She claims to be a musician but we rarely see her writing or recording anythjng.*

She writes embarrassing things about itAlex on social media (beautiful dick).*

Openly takes a neutral stance on Palestine.

Claims to wear vintage clothes but they rarely are*

When Alex was ill after the third London show, it is publicised that he leaves the Emirates with his parents, no sign of Louise. She’s too busy taking pics in the hotel with Matt and Amanda

Meanwhile Miles has worked hard on his public image. He has shown he is a hard worker. He rarely mentions Alex on social media and when asked about him in interviews, whilst admitting they are good friends, is insistent they are not working together. Which is good because he has always been accused of riding on Alex’s fame.

He frequently gives updates when he his writing and recording, treating us to little snippets, something Louise never does.

Is it a coincidence that holiday gate is the same as the week One Man Band’s release. Alex looking miserable with Louise Vs Miles being charming and hard working.

Not long after Louise starts going on about her fake vintage, Miles posts a whole real of him going proper vintage shopping so he looks authentic.

Even in Dublin there is no duet with Alex. Miles not using Alex’s,fame,but also those who monitor social media can see how hungry they are for Milex interaction.

The river Mersey comment – another way of guaging public opinion. Finally the legion of doom 😍😍 comment on the NY recent. The fandom went crazy at Milex acknowledgement.

Alex....

His face..Alex is a pro. He has had twenty years of faking smiles after arguments with the other Monkeys, girlfriends, even Miles. He could fake a smile with Louise if we wanted to when they call their friends at Backgrid to take pap pictures. But instead he chooses to look like someone either on the verge of tears or else being held hostage. And in the latest set of pics, Louise looks the same.

The Taylor tattoo....it looks like he thinks so little of her he has kept that tattoo.

‘I don’t wanna be hers, I wanna be yours’ quite often at gigs where Louise is in attendance.

Not one song on the car written about her.

And now of course with the tour over, a lot of people return to watching TLSP videos. Happy, muscly, healthy looking Alex having fun with Miles as opposed to skinny, miserable Alex trapped with Louise.

Apart from Louise’s most ardent fans, most people want to see him away from her and would be overjoyed at a TLSP reunion, and for us Milexers, a declaration of their love.

So, has this been a long game? A way of making the people think they want Milex? I told you it was crazy, but just remember the world of public relations is completely underhand and insane.

#craziest thing you will read in a long time #alex turner #miles kane #milex #tlsp #milex theory

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creation-help · 1 year

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Attention

If you're schizophrenic/schizospec in some way, have/experience psychosis, extreme paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, or in general have a mental illness / neurological condition that is widely demonized (like most cluster b disorders)

Could you please take a moment to leave a word or two about representation? I'm making this post so that people with misunderstood mental conditions could get a boost in talking about representation, and for everyone else to learn something valuable relating to portraying characters like that in original works (or fanworks too!)

Basically, I'm gathering input from people who live with these conditions about what they'd like to see more, in terms of representation in media, harmful stereotypes or pitfalls to avoid, and how to appropriately portray mental illness in fantasy settings for example.

So if you have anything you think would be valuable to know for people outside your group or community, feel free to add on! In reblogs or comments. No pressure though! You can only mention one thing for example, or maybe one criticism and one wish for what you'd like in representation. Don't be ashamed to go on a long rant either, if you have stuff to say! Whatever you feel like commenting on! I'll try to boost all/as many responses as this post gets.

If you're not part of the group I'm asking input from, please reblog for a wider reach if possible!

Obviously I know even people within the same communities can have different opinions and preferences for representation, which is why I wish we could get a wide range of responses to this.

Thank you in advance!

#Sanism #Representation #actually paranoid #actually schizophrenic #actually delusional #(using some tags for visibility I hope they're the right ones)#schizophrenia #madpunk #Writing advice #mental illness #Mental health

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furiousgoldfish · 11 months

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Did my parents use cult techniques of abuse on me?

Or, did I grow up in a cult-like environment?

Control of appearance

my parents would berate me for my choice of clothing and accessories

my parents would insult me, call me names or slurs or make inappropriate comments if I dressed in a way they disapproved of

my parents would refuse to take me places until I dressed the way they required

my parents would shame me for my appearance and say they're ashamed to be seen in public with me

my parents would require me to look similar to what they look, even if it wasn't my style

my parents would take away pieces of my clothing and destroy it if they didn't like it

my parents would blackmail me or force me to wear a certain piece of clothing against my will

my parents would physically force me into clothing they decided I should wear

my parents berated, insulted and shamed me for the length, color and the style of my hair, if it wasn't what they thought I should look like

only certain styles of clothing, hair, and accessories were acceptable for me to wear

Control of information, isolation and 'them versus us'

my parents would ask me 'where did you learn that?' whenever I would say something they didn't like

my parents would blame the school/my friends and say 'is this what they taught you?' if I didn't comply with their requests

my parents would disprove of reliable sources of information; they would insist they're right even when their information was directly against science, common sense, school or expert opinion

I was restricted or heavily discouraged from absorbing certain sorts of media (tv was forbidden, or certain books were forbidden, or the internet)

my parents were happy to expose me to information on how others live only if they were showing me worse abuse than what was going on at home. my only references were people who hurt their children much worse

my parents didn't like me spending time with my friends and would criticize those friends harshly in front of me

my parents considered anyone who isn't like them stupid, undesirable, less worthy and irrelevant, they wouldn't take in new information about them and instead considered themselves superior

my parents insisted that there isn't a place for me in the 'outside world' and that I'm only ever going to be a burden and a liability to everyone

my parents convinced me that people in the 'real world' were cruel and dangerous, and that I was likely to get killed, kidnapped, robbed, sexually assaulted or taken hostage by them

my parents believed anyone who fell victim to homelessness, addictions, abuse, poverty, illness or misfortune was stupid, worthless, lived their life wrong, and it was all their own fault that this happened to them

Control of location, financial abuse and life decisions

my parents would take any money I receive as a gift away from me

my parents would take any money I earn away from me

my parents would find a way to 'borrow' or 'keep safe' the money that was supposed to be mine, and I would never see it again

my parents would employ me to do work that would otherwise be paid work, but I would never hear about the money, they would just say it would go to 'the cost of keeping me'

my parents required me to work to 'deserve to live', I would have to do extensive physical work in order to deserve food, shelter, and basic resources I needed for school

my parents didn't give me proper working conditions, when working I wasn't allowed to complain of being tired, hungry, needing the toilet or a break, I had to work silently

my parents wanted me to work for them even after coming of age

my parents wanted me to only work somewhere close to the family (in the same town/city/district, or in a relative's home) and would sabotage me getting jobs that required me to move away

my parents threw tantrums or had extreme anxious reactions if I were to try to move somewhere away from them (insisting I'd be hurt, kidnapped, killed, robbed, sold into slavery, etc)

my parents wouldn't allow me to make life decisions on my own even when I was of age, and insisted that they know what is right for me instead

my parents would withdraw their support from me, or do intense shaming, guilt-tripping, acting hurt and betrayed and blaming me for their own bad psychological state, if I tried to make my own life decisions the way I wanted (even when I'm an adult)

if I needed to move for school/work, my parents insisted on being in as close contact as possible, they wanted me to call them daily or would call daily

I felt that my parents did not trust me to know how to take care of myself and they felt it was necessary to control all of my decisions for me, or I would go directly into my own doom

Strict patriarchal standards

my family believed that the father is supposed to be the 'leader' of the family and that other members of the family, specifically children, were to listen to his orders obediently or be punished

my family allowed the father to use extremely cruel punishments if he wasn't obeyed instantly

there was a double standard for what the family was free to do, and what the father was free to do; he could act as he pleased, but for the rest, there were strict rules of behaviour and limited freedom

while the father in the family was allowed to criticize, humiliate, guilt-trip and demand labour and resources from anyone in the family, he himself was above criticism and was not to be questioned

there was a double standard for girls and boys in my family; girls needed to be submissive, pleasing to look at, work endlessly for others and act like helpers and resources for other members of the family. boys were valued for toughness, durability, aggressiveness.

controlling, bullying and assaulting girls would be forgiven and dismissed, but girls would not be allowed to fight back.

boys were encouraged to fight and were not supposed to complain about injuries or fear physical violence at all

girls were valued for chastity, virginity and appeal to men, while boys were valued for physical strength, leadership, agression and decision making

extensive shame was put on any sexual desire, curiosity or even requests for information about sex

it was assumed that the goals for the young girls in the family was to become married and were trained for 'serving their future husband', to the point where they would be criticized and humiliated for anything 'their future husband wouldn't like'

my family did not give us any resources or information that would teach us about sex or protect us against sexual abuse

there was sexual abuse of children in my family (by adults, or by other children) and it was ignored, dismissed, either never brought to light or the perpetrators were protected if it ever was brought to light, and the entire thing covered up

Breaking (tw torture, tw murder attempts)

I was denied food or shelter if I would disobey my parents as a child

I was locked up somewhere if I would disobey my parents

I was hit, chased, threatened with violence, had things thrown at me and had people scream at me in rage if I disobeyed them as a child

I was beaten, to the point where I had marks on my body, as a punishment for disobedience

I was starved as a punishment for disobedience (my food intake was limited, a meal was withdrawn every day or multiple meals were, or my meals were less than what everyone else was allowed to have)

I was sleep-deprived as a punishment (allowed less than 8 hours of sleep at night)

I was overworked as a punishment (forced to do long or unusual cleanings or other menial labour)

I was exposed to life-threatening situations as a punishment (someone would try to drown/choke/injure me, or put me in a situation where I would likely get injured)

Punishments would not be over until I would break down unable to bear it any more and I would apologize and beg for it to stop, sometimes it still wouldn't stop

After punishments, nobody would speak to me, look at me, pay attention to me, or give me any comfort or acknowledgment, everyone acted as if I was poisonous or toxic (this is shunning)

After punishments, I would be isolated, without any human contact, for prolonged periods of time, I wouldn't be allowed back into the family until they decided it was time

I was exposed to extensive shaming and contempt for disobeying (I was told I was the worst, most selfish creature to live, that I was evil, possessed, demonic, I was called slurs, animal names, monstrous names, compared to the devil or worst humans to exist, blamed for everyone's suffering, accused of causing suffering on purpose and enjoying it)

intimate, sexual or extremely uncomfortable punishments were done to me for disobeying or talking back

I believed that the members of the family were all-powerful, and that there was no way of escaping their punishments, or for them not to find out if I've done anything wrong. I became terrified of making any mistakes and couldn't see a world where they wouldn't find out

I was scared that the family members could read my thoughts and was forbidden to think anything ill of them

Religious and Spiritual Abuse (control of thoughts)

I was supposed to accept the same religion my parents believed in, and anything else was unacceptable

I was forced to participate in church going, religious activities and rituals even if I strongly did not want to be involved

I was taught extensive religious or spiritual beliefs from the start of life, and would be judged on those standards/had to prove my faith in various ways

I was forced to 'confess' my thoughts and beliefs to a member of the family or the church, who then judged me and 'corrected' my way of thinking, telling me how I should (must) think

my place in society was dictated by my religion, if religion said my purpose is to have a family, or have children, then the only way for me to exist would be to follow that purpose

I was taught that laziness is a sin and I was to work every moment I possibly could, or I would be shamed as a sinner

I was told I was impure, sinful, that certain parts of human nature like curiosity, desire for knowledge, critical thinking and indulgence in my interests and desires was 'against god', and I had to give it all up in order to be a good person

I was taught to fear god's wrath and that punishment would come for anything that could possibly be perceived as wrong

I was taught that suffering is necessary and good for us, that the more we suffer in this world, more will we be rewarded in the next one, and that being put through extensive and prolonged pain would actually save me and give me good graces with god

alternatively, I was told that any suffering was my fault and only here because 'I didn't believe enough' or 'my faith isn't pure enough' and if I only did everything right, then I would have no suffering, no illnesses, no problems and no bad moods ever

I was told there was something demonic and evil inside of me, and had to bear punishments to 'exorcise the possession'

I was told I was so evil, selfish and demonic that I could not be loved, or could only be loved under certain conditions, and if I'm continually punished

I was introduced to a 'new age religion' or a specific spiritual belief by my family and was then groomed to participate in it long term, not realizing that it was done for a purpose to benefit a certain cause that was ultimately exploitative and deceptive

I was shamed and told I was doing harm to the world for arbitrary things, like having my own stuff, eating certain foods, participating in certain harmless activities or buying certain things

limits and restrictions would be placed on completely harmless things for which I would then be persecuted

Escape prevention

I was told that I was not capable of living in the normal world and that I would die if I ever escape

I was told I would commit suicide if I escape

I was told that the world outside is life-threatening, that people are dangerous, prone to attack, murder, rob, assault or kidnap me

I was told that I was absolutely unwanted, burden and a waste of space if I'm outside of the family

I was told there was no way for me to become a part of any other group or have a place in any social circle outside of the family

I was terrified that there would be revenge if I ever escaped, and that someone would come and attempt to take my life

(in case of escape) extensive measures were taken to try and get me to come back, I was searched for, contacted and harassed by multiple people trying to find me and bring me back home

(in case of escape) my relatives, friends, acquaintances and peers were harassed and manipulated to believe they need to bring me back and that I'm making a mistake

I was extensively shamed, told I was being cruel, in the wrong, that I needed to forgive and forget any wrongdoing, that I was doing damage and hurting people, if I ever tried to escape

I could feel that I would be shunned, everything I had would be taken from me and I would be left without any family, any resources or any safety net if I ever escape

(in case of escaping) I became shunned and unwelcome in my own family

(in case of escaping) the worst rumors and allegations were spread against me, my family told everyone made-up stories or exaggerated lies of how awful, cruel, selfish, crazy, distorted, sick and psychotic I am

(in case of escape) after escaping, I was hit with severe terror and trauma, and was barely able, or completely unable to function for a period of time, I didn't believe I would survive, and I didn't know how to function in the world

(in case of escape) after escaping, I realized I had nothing to my name, no skills for survival outside of the family, and I needed to re-learn everything, from socialization with people to financial skills and self care, I wasn't taught anything that would help me live in the outside world

*if someone other than your parents did this to you, you can substitute 'parents' by 'abuser'. Sometimes cults will cut family bonds and convince you that the cult community is your only family

If you've scored high on this list, it doesn't necessarily mean you were brought up in a cult, because cults often use tactics of domestic abuse, and the reverse is also true, domestic abusers often use cult tactics of abuse. It also doesn't mean that you weren't brought in a cult, if most of this is applicable you could potentially benefit from reading resources about cults and how they function, and how to recover from them and clear your mind of their control.

Most families raise their children in their own religion, and by patriarchal standards, it doesn't mean that it isn't religious and sexist abuse, because children are often not free to choose their beliefs or live freely of those standards. It's a societal type of 'accepted abuse'. However, you had anything from 'Breaking' category true for you, you were severely abused and someone attempted to take your free will completely from you, and take control of you. Everything in there counts as torture, is illegal, and is not in any way acceptable to do to a child, or adult, and none of it could ever be done for your own good. Also, control of your appearance, finances, information and escape prevention are strong signs of exploitation and being held hostage and used against your will. Control of appearance is mostly done so that nobody in the outer world could recognize that you're not there by your free will and as a part of that family/community, it's to make your abuse invisible and undetectable. Control of information is there to make it invisible to you, so that you can't figure out whats happening to you isn't normal.

If you've scored high on this list, it means you've been through extensive and terrifying levels of abuse, and that strong measures were taken to prevent you from escaping. This type of abuse has long-lasting effects and is not something one can easily recover from. Nobody deserved anything on this list to be done to them, every point is abuse.

#cult abuse #cults #abusive parents #child abuse #religious abuse #spiritual abuse #breaking #brainwashing #grooming #cult like abuse #cult level of abuse #escape sabotage

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