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astradrifting · 3 years

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This is kind of inspired by this recent ask I sent to @esther-dot about Jon’s characterisation and Jonsa shippers’ apparent disregard for it, because it made me think of another part of Jon’s characterisation that is really integral to who he is. Mainly, that Jon really loves his brothers. Especially Robb. His rival and best friend and constant companion. Jon envies him, competes with him, buried a formative traumatic memory where he was deeply hurt by him... but ultimately loves him. Complex relationships with his brothers, both the Starks and his Night’s Watch brothers, are a running theme in Jon’s chapters.

Speaking of Jon’s brothers...

Aegon VI and Robb have a lot of potential parallels, actually. The “Young” moniker, red-haired counselors who are also their parents, trained to be the heir to a great kingdom from a young age, the barely younger half-brother Jon borne of their father’s dishonour of their mother… one that they might both have a good relationship with despite that?

The show tried to play with Jon ‘accepting’ his Targaryen lineage through the jonerice romance, very unconvincingly because it was simultaneously undermining it at every opportunity, in what was maybe a half-assed attempt at Pol!Jon (”They’ll all come to see you for what you are” isn’t anything but a threat in all contexts).

Jon will ultimately choose the Starks over everything else, that’s not really a question. But if Jon were to genuinely connect with another Targaryen, it’d likely be easier for him to find kinship with a half-brother than with an aunt - he has a basis for positive relationships with trueborn half-brothers, while the only aunt figure he’s ever known about is a) long dead and b) actually his mother. I think it’d both make more sense and be more compelling for GRRM to leverage Jon’s existing complex relationships with brotherhood by having him interact with and build a relationship with Aegon, than a rushed and out-of-character romance with Dany.

Jon also is already primed to believe that Aegon is the real deal, that he was saved as a baby, because he’s already done the exact same thing himself - he swapped out a baby of royal blood who was in danger for a common-born boy, and then sent him halfway across the world for safety (side note: if Septa Lemore is Ashara, and if the baby was actually Ashara’s son as theorised here by @agentrouka-blog, that would just strengthen the parallel, because it would be his body double’s mother caring for him, as Gilly has to do for Mance’s son).

They’re definitely going to come into conflict first - politically, Jon will likely be in a position of power in the North by the time they meet, maybe as the KitN through Robb’s will or regent for Rickon, and probably will fight for Northern independence, while Aegon is fighting to be king of the Seven Kingdoms, not 6. Personally, it will be hard to get past the fact that Jon is the direct result of Rhaegar dishonouring Elia, plus that the Kingsguard who should have been protecting her were all stationed in Dorne, guarding Jon’s mother (in whatever capacity). But these interactions, a conflict and eventual friendship/brotherhood between them, would all be a lot more layered than jonerice can really offer. If a relationship between Jon and Dany was truly all that GRRM has been building up to, then there would have been no need for R+L=J - it adds nothing to that storyline, it doesn’t even make it a forbidden romance, because aunt-nephew is hardly the worst incest the Targaryens have engaged in.

It’s almost inevitable that Da*nerys is going to kill Aegon VI/Young Griff in the books, likely by burning him with dragonfire, in the Second Dance of the Dragons. The weird Dragonpit meeting in the show was very contrived, but it does make sense for Dany to meet the ruler on the Iron Throne at least once in a semi-peaceful context. In the show, she used her dragons only to intimidate Cersei, but she didn’t have a personal grievance with her. Aegon is in much more danger during such a meeting. After all she will think he is a pretender, and she doesn’t much care for the rules of safe conduct, as she showed to the envoys from Yunkai.

Dany shrugged, and said, "Dracarys."

The dragons answered. Rhaegal hissed and smoked, Viserion snapped, and Drogon spat swirling red-black flame. It touched the drape of Grazdan's tokar, and the silk caught in half a heartbeat.

[...]

"You swore I should have safe conduct!" the Yunkish envoy wailed.

"Do all the Yunkai'i whine so over a singed tokar? I shall buy you a new one... if you deliver up your slaves within three days. Elsewise, Drogon shall give you a warmer kiss." She wrinkled her nose. "You've soiled yourself. Take your gold and go, and see that the Wise Masters hear my message."

(ASOS, Dany IV)

"Ah, there is the thorn in the bower, my queen," said Hizdahr zo Loraq. "Sad to say, Yunkai has no faith in your promises. They keep plucking the same string on the harp, about some envoy that your dragons set on fire."

"Only his tokar was burned," said Dany scornfully.

(ADWD, Dany VI)

So Dany will burn the Blackfyre pretender, and everyone will be happy and cheer to see the rightful queen, the last Targaryen, Slayer of Lies, Breaker of Chains, Insert-The-Million-Other-Titles-Here. Right?

Except how would she prove that he’s an imposter? She can’t exactly roll up with an Alt Shift X video pointing out that Illyrio has said some weird things about Aegon. Is Varys going to have an attack of remorse and explain his whole plot, complete with Blackfyre family tree? Or maybe she’ll explain that she went on a vision quest in Qarth and Aegon totally matches up with the vague symbolism that a bunch of drugged up warlocks told her before she set them on fire?

I don’t think it’s going to matter if Aegon is fake or not, and we might never find out either way. The mystery of his identity isn’t his main narrative, and all of his significance to the story and to multiple other characters is removed if he’s proved to not be Aegon VI. Him being proved fake would just make this plotline a weird, unnecessary digression on Dany’s journey to being the righteous and true queen, his death just another #girlboss moment for her. That’s definitely going to be her perception of it, but once she reaches Westeros we won’t have to rely on only her POV of her actions. History is written by the winners, and no one’s going to miss that it’s a lot more convenient for Dany if the boy with a stronger claim than her turns out to have been fake all along. Arianne and the Dornish are definitely not going to take it lying down, and neither is Jon. He’s not going to fall in love with the woman who murdered his brother, especially by burning him alive. ADWD has plenty to say about how much he hates death by fire.

“Men say that freezing to death is almost peaceful. Fire, though … do you see the candle, Gilly?”

She looked at the flame. “Yes.”

“Touch it. Put your hand over the flame.”

Her big brown eyes grew bigger still. She did not move.

“Do it.” Kill the boy. “Now.”

Trembling, the girl reached out her hand, held it well above the flickering candle flame.

“Down. Let it kiss you.”

Gilly lowered her hand. An inch. Another. When the flame licked her flesh, she snatched her hand back and began to sob.

“Fire is a cruel way to die. Dalla died to give this child life, but you have nourished him, cherished him. You saved your own boy from the ice. Now save hers from the fire.”

(ADWD, Jon II)

Funnily enough, the same fire as a kiss imagery from Dany burning the envoy’s tokar appeared there too, also used as a threat.

If he is not a kinslayer, he is the next best thing. [...] What sort of man can stand by idly and watch his own brother being burned alive?

(ADWD, Jon IX)

So Aegon’s death is not going to be a triumphant victory for Dany, after which everyone proclaims her the true queen. It’s likely to just solidify opposition to her, from every corner of Westeros. If it happens during a summit or negotiation, it’d be even more of a tragic parallel to Robb and the Red Wedding; the young king murdered off of the battlefield, at an event where he was promised safe conduct. Featuring Dany in the role of Roose Bolton and Tywin Lannister. Tywin’s already died a very undignified death, and Roose Bolton looks to be on his way too.

I think the tragedy of Aegon’s death would also hit harder if we see it through Jon, as a main POV, or at least the aftermath of it. Jon was integral at the Dragonpit meeting after all, and probably would be at a peace summit or negotiation between the leaders of Westeros and the invading force.

In ASOS, there’s a curious lack of Jon’s reaction to Robb’s death. We see his initial reaction to Bran and Rickon’s supposed deaths when he gets back to Castle Black, but he doesn’t even know about Robb’s death until Stannis arrives to defeat the wildlings, and we’re not shown the moment he’s told about it. He barely even thinks about it, not even a mention until he meets with Stannis on top of the Wall:

“Your brother was the rightful Lord of Winterfell. If he had stayed home and done his duty, instead of crowning himself and riding off to conquer the riverlands, he might be alive today. Be that as it may. You are not Robb, no more than I am Robert.”

The harsh words had blown away whatever sympathy Jon might have had for Stannis. “I loved my brother,” he said.

(ASOS, Jon XI)

And that’s literally all we get that is specifically about Robb’s death - the rest of Jon’s chapters, his guilt and grief is about the loss of all his siblings, and the idea of stealing Winterfell from them. It doesn’t really make sense for him to not think about it at all, considering how close they were. This reminds me of how he has a non-reaction to Sansa’s marriage to Tyrion as well, as talked about in this post by @agentrouka-blog. Part of this could be Jon’s tendency towards denial and suppression of all his feelings, but it also points to GRRM explicitly obscuring his reaction - perhaps because he’s going to explore it in the wake of another brother dying a very similar death? One that this time he’ll be there to witness?

#astra rambles #meta #speculation #half speculation half 'my wildest dreams and hopes'#anti daenerys targaryen #anti jonerys #jon snow #aegon vi targaryen #jon and aegon #anti got #because i do dunk on the show a lot in this lmao #i've spent far too long on this and had to delete five tirades against the show already

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birb-tangleblog · 3 years

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Rise of Flynn Rider - THOUGHTS

THE PROMISED LONGER POST ON THE RISE OF FLYNN RIDER- spoiler warning!

Ok so first off, a very brief summary: the book centers on Eugene and Arnie (Lance), childhood best friends. The orphanage they've grown up in is financially struggling, under threat by a crooked tax collector, and they're both aging out of the system; the only clue Eugene has to his parents is a letter from the woman who left him there, which is signed with a ~mysterious symbol~. When a traveling circus run by the Baron (yes, that Baron) passes through town and Eugene learns of a possible lead on his past, the two boys reinvent themselves, join up, and eventually end up entangled in a scheme to steal from the King and Queen of Corona.

I won't lie, I enjoyed this one a lot- it was a fun read, very cozy to curl up with, and even with some contradictions, it felt like a novel that was derivative of the series and set in that world. There are a lot of cameos and references, enough that I think most TTS fans will find something they like to nibble on.

Like I said in my earlier post abt the prologue and first few chapters, I'm so happy that Lance got a role alongside Eugene- he's definitely a secondary character to Eugene’s main, and he does get sidelined somewhat, but it's charming to see his friendship with Eugene and his growing passion for cooking.

'I didn't expect anything, so I'm more delighted and pleasantly surprised than genuinely unhappy with the execution' is a running theme with this book for me and basically the tl;dr of this write-up.

There are soo many cameos and little treats- I get the impression Calonita didn't have the most complete knowledge of the series, but her chats with Chris and interest in the series’ writing definitely show. King Edmund, the Stabbingtons, all of the pub thugs, Weasel, Stalyan, and the Baron all make appearances, and we get cameos from Cap, Maximus, Pascal's mother, and even Cass gets a name drop. Several series-exclusive locations are also mentioned by name- Vardaros, the Spire, and the Forest of No Return.

I'm not immune to the fannish hit of 'hey! I understand that reference!' and I really enjoyed hunting for easter eggs, so even if the presence of the pub thugs in the Baron's crew, or the boys stumbling on Rapunzel's tower in one scene and making nothing of it (yea that happened) is a lil questionable, it made me smile and I can't be mad.

I would just describe this book as 'comfy'.

(That said, I'm a little unsure who all those references are for- I feel like if you hadn't seen the series, you'd lack context and some details would be meaningless, but if you had, I think you might long for more depth and exploration...)

Structure & Progression

Here's the part where I start criticizing the book aimed at middle and elementary schoolers lmao

It's a v short book, but the plot progression still feels a little scattered- it didn’t feel quite like a heist OR a mystery. The subplot that takes up a lot of focus is actually interpersonal conflict between Lance and Eugene- and they reconcile, but not after spending much of the book in a standoff due to a misunderstanding/'liar revealed' trope.

One of Eugene's motivations for joining the circus is spotting a man with a mark on his arm that matches the one from his letter working there, and believing he'll be able to learn more abt his parents from him. He doesn't disclose this to Lance right away, and when it comes out later on, he's upset that Eugene didn't tell him- he feels tricked, and like Eugene's prioritizing his biological family over their bond. I had a hard time with this, b/c I honestly think Eugene could've literally said to Lance, 'hey, joining this circus is a great opportunity to travel, make money, send some back to the orphanage, AND I found something about my parents, will you come with me?' and Lance still would've jumped on it. Later on, there's also another similar miscommunication that deepens the rift.

It feels like manufactured drama, and I would've loved a book of the two of them just being buds, bouncing off each other, and trying to unravel the mysteries of the DK symbol and the Baron's ulterior motives together. Lance's fears of being left behind by his friend absolutely could've surfaced without the misunderstandings, especially the closer they got to the truth. (And I don't think that'd have been dissimilar to the unused 'Trial' episode concept and flashback.)

The pacing itself... meanders. After the boys complete an initiation mission to get a hold of a special key for the Baron, time passes (two weeks in-story) and there's some slice of life as they learn the ropes, get inducted into a lifestyle of thieving (it’s revealed the circus is a front for a crime ring), and get to know the Baron's crew.

I liked these parts and would've kept them in a longer book! But maybe there could've been some fine-tuning here so big events (Eugene stealing for the first time, the heist, the meeting with the mysterious Man with the Mark) weren��t so one-and-done. There are several points where nothing's really happening because the characters can't quite connect with each other, or they're waiting around for an opportunity passively, and that makes for a frustrating exp for me as a reader.

There were also lot of elements I thought were getting set up to come into play later, but not a lot of follow through? The folk hero Lance Archer is mentioned several times and has wanted posters, but we never meet him in the flesh. The Man with the Mark is revealed to be a former member of the Brotherhood(!) named Vedis(!!), but he isn't seen again after Eugene speaks with him... once. (More on this later this post is getting so long omg)

The Baron’s plan is revealed to be stealing a reward offered for the lost princess when it’s on display to the public during a festival. Eugene and Lance balk b/c stealing doesn’t sit well with them, especially when it’s from what are ultimately a family trying to find their lost child- they decide to do the right thing by foiling the scheme/stealing it back and returning it to the royals. It goes a bit pear-shaped and they’re caught, but are forgiven and face no consequences after explaining, other than being ousted from the circus/crime ring and making enemies of the Baron. Eugene hasn’t given up on finding the DK, but he realizes he already has a family in Lance, and that’s the most important thing; the two resolve to travel the world and have adventures together.

I want to make another post on it, but at the least it feels like a foregone conclusion given we know ‘Flynn Rider’ goes on to become a renown thief who steals the crown of the lost princess- that’s literally the plot of the movie, and being a dashing rogue is Flynn’s defining trait- so even aside from questionable ideas about wealth, class, and morality, the novel’s ending doesn’t fit what’s firmly established about his character, and I think big fans of Eugene might have an even harder time with that then me.

(I’m very suspicious that there might’ve been some executive meddling in an attempt to soften young Eugene’s character, and send a more palatable/upstanding message to children- it feels like Disney editing the old SW films to show Han didn’t shoot first.)

It’s def one of those novels where you can take some elements you like and leave others, but overall I’d still rly rec it for series fans! I’ve been buzzing and what-iffing about it for a few days, and I got some tasty tidbits on the characters and nods to the series, which is exactly what I wanted out of it.

And maybe it’s a funky take, but honestly I want to think of this book as the beginning of an alternate timeline where Lance and Eugene got out of crime earlier, Eugene got a clue abt his heritage by chance, and it changed his course. I think embracing the retcons and contradictions to canon makes for an interesting angle, and you’ll enjoy it more if you don’t take it too seriously.

#OKAY PHEW GOD took me way too long to post this #I'd consider this a general reaction/impression and overview #and I have more written that I want to sort out into posts abt Eugene's char AND my thoughts on Vedis as a Brotherhood Stan™#if I included it here it'd have been like... another 1k words lmfao #hopefully I can post those in the next day or so!#I have no idea how to structure proper reviews man I just want to yammer #I'm honestly just having fun reacting to smth new again C:#the rise of flynn rider #text post #my post #eugene #lance

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namelessexistence · 3 years

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Part 8 of 10 of my top 100 favorite characters

30 - Yamanaka Ino (Naruto)

Yes, I had my Naruto phase. It was the first manga I read, I borrowed from a friend. There’s so much characters with wasted potential there. And it is true that the story advances in terms of themes of war and cicles of hatred, but character-wise, it was on it’s best in the Chunnin Exams. Ino is one of those exemples of wasted potential. She deserved to win that fight against Sakura and I’ll die on that hill. In that arc, she’s established as confident, skilled with shurikens, she was a better friend than Sakura was and I woudn’t say that she ended a friendship because of boy. She didn’t. Sakura ended their friendship, Ino shows clear signs of still caring for Sakura and not wanting to cut ties. Despide caring for her good looks, she would sacrifice that with no hesitation to win a fight. Yes, Sakura did it in a moment that was supposed to be a meaningful step to her growth, but Ino did it entirily for her strategy. She was smart enough to create a plan that would compensate for her jutsu’s weak spot (that it was supposed to be used as part of a team work)

29 - Tsunade (Naruto)

I don’t think I have to explain this one. Unlike Ino, that I feel I have to defend, Tsunade is already (rightfully) perceived as one of the best written female characters in the series, if not the best.

28 - Nami (One Piece)

I love how she was written. She’s well written and complex. Yes, her portray is cartoonish good part of the time, but that’s a characteristc of the story itself. I loved the arc where we learn about her past. I love how she’s allowed to be greedy, whimsical and deeply flawed and still be someone who the writer want us to root for. Usually, this indulgence is given to male characters.

27 - Frankestein’s Creature

Did this book sent me into this path of sympathy for the devil I never got off from? Probably. Being queer almost certainly has some part on that too. Anyway, he wasn’t a saint or inoccent by the end of the book, we already said Clerval deserved better, so did his other victims. But he was already hated and ostricized before he did anything to deserved that, because of circunstances he coudn’t choose or control. Victor created to imediately abandon him.

26 - Greed (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood )

I didn’t realize I cared so much for him until the end. That end destroyed me and I still think about it now, years later. But it’s poetic.If greed is satisfied, how can it keep existing?

25 - Akabane Karma (Assassination Classroom)

He has the same bastard energy of Izaya, but without being a villain, what else could you need? Also, I love how he’s first introduced as someone dangerous, a predator, a deranged man, but then Koro-Sensei treats him as a child who was hurted and needed care, wich is true, and it worked.

24 - Azula (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Sometimes it’s hard to remember she was only fourteen during the show. But she was. A child. I don’t deny Zuko had a kinder nature than her, but it doesn’t mean she wasn’t influenced by the way she was raised. That family and how their kids turned out would take it’s own post to make it justice. Besides, Azula is fun as a villain. She’s competent, ruthless, and seems to be enjoying herself most of the time.

23 - Chara (Undertale)

I just find so interesting to search for clues and pieces of information about them across the game. Chara is a puzzle we’l never be able to fully solve. We don’t have all the pieces. That won’t stop me from trying.

22 - Violet Evergarden

A girl who was treated as a weapon learning how to be human. This anime is so beautiful and touching. Her character growth, learning how to understand other people’s feeling and, trough that, her own.

21 - Gaara (Naruto)

Child me was really involved with the story of this kid who was possesed by a demon, isolated, raised as both a monster and a weapon. And he had to grow and learn better by himself, with no help other than one (1) speech other child he woudn’t see again for years gave him.

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

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Do you have any good suicidal Sherlock? Or ones where he self harms???

@vg-remy said to inevitably-johnlocked: can we get John left sherlock for Mary after he returns and sherlock grew suicidal

Hey Lovelies! *HUGS*

Remy, I don’t really read many fics within which Sherlock and John don’t end up together, so I can’t recall much in that way. BUT because this fic is looking for Suicidal Sherlock, I’ve decided to attach it to this list.

So, yes, Nonny I absolutely do. I’ve done lists in the past for Self Harm so I’ll link you to those below. I’m going to put both John and Sherlock fics on here, and 95% of these have happy endings, because I can’t do sad stuff too much anymore lately, so I hope that’s okay

SUICIDAL IDEATION

See also:

Self Harm, Danger Nights, and Drugs

Drugs and Drugging Pt 2

Alexx’s Lists:

Suicidal Sherlock

Suicidal John

Suicide Mission Post TAB

Voices by fizzingweaselbee (T, 607 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Mental Turmoil, Suicidal Ideations) – “We would never do that to John Watson.”

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w., 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) – “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Pen Pals by WerewolfDoctor (K, 2,797 w., 1 Ch. || Epistolary, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Post-TRF) – Most people don’t become pen pals by one of them writing a not-suicide note. Then again, Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have never exactly been normal, have they?

Too Late by SJBHasADayPass (T, 3,390 w., 2 Ch. || Angst, Suicide, Tragedy, Major Character Death, First Person POV, Unhappy Ending) – Six months after the Fall, John is finding it difficult without Sherlock, and Sherlock is finding it just as painful.

Watching You Die by laureleaf (T, 10,340 w., 11 Ch. || Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Suicide, Switching POVs, Sort-of Rev. Reich., Whump) – John watched Sherlock die three years ago, and Sherlock just watched John die. But neither of them are actually dead. Now an AU, with nods to “The Adventure of the Empty House”. Lots of angst and post-Reichenbach feels. No slash.

There’s So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst, Suicide, Jealousy) – “You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance, Humour, Masturbation, Love Declarations, Bottomlock, Brief Suicidal Ideations) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn’t walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse… Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face.” Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.“ Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

MARKED FOR LATER

Interview by bluebellofbakerstreet (G, 2,791 w., 2 Ch. || Punk AU || Past Drug Use, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied Mystrade, Punklock / Bandlock, Fanart Included) – What’s better than John Watson and Sherlock Holmes in a punk band? John Watson and Sherlock Holmes on the cover of the Rolling Stone, and giving an interview.

For The Sake Of Being Interesting by SaintClaire (M, 2,797 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Suicide / Suicidal Ideation, MCD, Angst, Unhappy Ending) – How John Watson coped after the Reichenbach Falls. Hint - it wasn’t positive.

All we do is hide away by AnneCumberbatch (E, 3,895 w., 38 Ch. || Post-TRF, Depressed John, John’s Blog/Epistolary, Paternal Mrs Hudson, Meddling Mycroft, Hospitalization, Mental Breakdown, Reunion, Fainting, Delusions, Pre-Slash, POV First Person John, Suicidal Ideation / Implied Suicide Attempt) – It’s been 35 days since Sherlock threw himself off of Bart’s hospital in front of John’s eyes. 35 days since John threw himself onto the pavement at Sherlock’s side, his knees soaking up the blood from his best friend. 35 days since John’s world shuttered closed and dried up. 35 days.

Because I Love Him by CumberCurlyGirl (M, 3,991 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Angst, Mutual Pining, Alcohol Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, POV Alternating First Person, Love Confessions, Violin, Happy Ending) – John is lost after Sherlock’s apparent suicide and takes a few items from 221B to comfort himself.

Premeditated by Mazarin221b (E, 4,033 w., 1 Ch. || Suicidal Ideation, Dark Thoughts, Torture, Depression, Captivity, First Kiss) – John and Sherlock are captured, tortured, and imprisoned - and eventually, they realize, there’s only one way out.

So True a Fool by ladyxdarcy (M, 4,963 w., 1 Ch. || Soulmates AU || Post-ASiB/Pre-THoB, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Bisexual John, Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Sick Sherlock, Fluff and Angst, Angst with Happy Ending, Mild Telepathy, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love) – Every pair of soulmates has one listener and one speaker. It is the listener’s job to find the speaker and embrace their bond. John knew the instant he heard the strange man’s voice that he was his soulmate, but never reveals the truth, resulting in severe consequences. (Based on this prompt)

The Violin of Ruin and Favour Series by PizzaMan (T, 5,923 w. across 4 fics || Post-TRF, Sherlock’s Violin, Angst With Happy Ending, John Plays the Violin, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Depression / Suicidal Mentions) – 3 years after the Fall and Sherlock comes back. During that time, John had learned to play the violin.

The Gun Drawer (Ch10) by CarmillaCarmine (M, 5,985 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Five Stages of Grief, Suicidal John, Angst, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Introspection) – A dive into John’s chaotic mind as he reminisces on the first 18 months after Sherlock’s fall. Part 10 of the The Memoirs of Dr. John H. Watson series

Waiting To Be Known by soera (R, 7,414 w., 1 Ch., LJ Fic || S2 Fic, Implied Bullying, Implied Suicide/Suicidal Ideation, Minor Character Death, Drug Use, Sexual Violence on a Child) – John Watson has been saving Sherlock’s life for a very long time, even if he doesn’t know it.

A Study in Asexuality by ladyxdarcy (M, 8,082 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Acephobia, Mentions of Rape/Corrective Rape Therapy, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Overdose, Past Mary/John, Emotional Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Vulnerable Sherlock, Est. Rel., Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff) – When Sherlock, asexual to his core, fears that John may grow bored of a sexless life, he decides to do whatever it takes to make John happy so he stays. Good thing John is already happy.

bread and honey by weneedtotalkaboutsherlock (M, 8,814 w., 8 Ch. || Farming AU || Second Person POV Sherlock, Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Therapy, Alcohol Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Abuse, Early Retirement, Seizures, Service Dogs, First Kiss/Time, Happy Ending) – The next thing you are sure and aware of is the mix of mud and water seeping through your shoes as the cabbie drops you in front of the old farmhouse. You do not know this, but today marks the first day of spring.

September 20th by HappyJuicyfruit (T, 10,111 w., 1 Ch. || Time Loop, Angst, Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts, PTSD John, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending) – Sherlock keeps reliving the same day. He isn’t very happy about it.

You Don’t Need Wings to Fly by Laiquilasse (T, 11,326 w., 11 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Bullying, Angels, Suicidal Ideation, Christmas) – John, an angel, is sent from Heaven to help a desperate Sherlock Holmes by showing him what life would have been like if he had never existed.

Mental by Boeshane42 (E, 18,128 w., 1 Ch. || Mental Illness, Discussion of Suicide, Drugs) – Sherlock Holmes is a patient in a closed psychiatric ward. John Watson is his new psychiatrist.

Other Side of The Moon by love_in_mind_palace (T, 23,446 w., 7 Ch. || Post-TRF, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the fall Sherlock goes away to dismantle Moriarty’s network while living through different identities and hiding. But then something unexpected starts to happen. After a while of everything going according to plan, he’s suddenly just too late everywhere. Because someone was there before him, and took care of everything. It takes him a while. But then he realises. It’s John. Avenging his death.

The House on Rue des Boulangers by Berty (M, 24,299 w., 8 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Developing Relationship, Hiding in Plain Sight, PTSD, Depression, France, Frottage, First Kiss, Bees and Honey, Suicidal Thoughts, Gardens & Gardening, POV John, Angsty Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism, Falling in Love, Happy Ending) – After being invalided out of the army and without any other prospects, John Watson has relocated to a small town in northern France. Now he has to decide what to do for the rest of his life. One morning there’s a mad stranger in his garden chasing a swarm of bees, and it seems John’s decision is made.

(Life is) A Series of Risks by SkipandDi (ladyflowdi) (E, 36,499 w., 4 Ch. || Alternate Universe || Post-TRF, Kid Fic, Parentlock, Temporary Character Death, Established Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, Grief, Violence, Psychological Trauma, PTSD) – The work comes first.

White Tulip by withoutawish (E, 40,624 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3, Copper Beeches / Solitary Cyclist Rewrite, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction (Sherlock), Angst, Suicide Attempt, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, PTSD, Pining, Metaphors, String Theory, Graphic Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock is in love with John Watson. John Watson is in love with Mary Morstan. Sherlock likes Mary Morstan just fine. Sherlock likes drugs more. And most importantly, Sherlock doesn’t like Sherlock. String theory dictates the laws of the universe. But their story isn’t one that can be boxed up neatly, tied in a heartstring bow. "After all, the axioms of homeostasis dictate that an infinity sign of negative feedback can only loop back in on itself.”

Sunday Matinee by hogwartswitch (E, 44,597 w., 12 Ch. || College / Uni 1980′s AU || Fluff and Angst, Movies, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Homelessness, Anal/Oral, Fingering, Rimming, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, HIV/AIDS, Mentions of Cancer, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Depression, Epistolary, Love Letters, Suicide Attempt, Blow Jobs, Time Skips) – The year is 1984 and it’s a great time for movies and movie fans. John Watson is a struggling film school student with dreams of being a screenwriter. It’s a dream come true when his friend, Mike, gets him a job reviewing movies for the university paper. Sherlock Holmes is also a film school student with dreams of directing, but he’s also struggling to get his life back on track. The job at Baker Cinema is supposed to help him do just that, but it’s SO BORING. Until, that is, a young movie reviewer buys a ticket to Footloose and Sherlock’s life suddenly becomes very, very complicated.

Focal Point by PuffleLock (E, 60,913 w., 13 Ch. || Post-TRF Divergence / Different Reunion, POV John, Slow Burn, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts, Sad Wank, Sherlock in Makeup, Dancing, Mentions of Torture / Depression / PTSD, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Scars, Rimming, Anal, Toplock, First Kiss / Time, Gay Sherlock / Bi John) – John comes home early from a medical conference to find that every once in awhile, Sherlock can surprise the hell out of him. Can John surprise him back?

A Change of Heart by SosoHolmesWatson (E, 65,436 w., 20 Ch. || Post-S4 / Canon Compliant, Jealous Sherlock, Past Abuse, Parentlock, Dev. Rel., Idiots in Love, Suicidal Sherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Mollstrade, Coming Out, Love Confessions, Big Brother Mycroft, John’s Childhood, POV Alternating, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Hand Jobs) – After all they have been through, after all the heartbreak and desolation, John and Sherlock want to make their way back to each other, still convinced that friendship is all that can exist between them. Will there be a change of heart? Part 1 of the The Pains of Growing series

The Improbable Match by elle_m and sherlockianworld (E, 67,626 w., 31 Ch. || Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Violence, Texting, Mutual Pining, Drug Use/Abuse, Angst With Happy Ending, Major Character Injury, Alcoholism, Withdrawal, Teenlock, Self-Harm, Bullying, Suicidal Ideations, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia) – When Gregory Lestrade decided to play matchmaker, he did not realise that his harmless plan would change the lives of two damaged people forever.

Patterns of Silver Birds by SincerelyChaos (E, 68,872 w., 20 Ch. || Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Synesthesia, Falling in Love, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Psychotropic Drugs, PTSD, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, First Time, Autism Spectrum, Internalized Ableism, Tics, Canon-Typical Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Psychology, Recovery) – In which love could really be considered a chemical defect and aeroplanes are nothing but silver birds.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”

Be Here Now by Todesfuge (M, 94,370 w., 25 Ch. || Post-TRF, Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Angst, Action/Adventure, Whump, Suicidal Thoughts, First Time, Depression, Drug Use/Non-Con Drug Use, PTSD, Suicide Attempt, Medical Trauma, Implied Torture) – John Watson was already fighting demons when he and Sherlock met. With Sherlock’s suicide, it all comes flooding back, forcing Sherlock to intervene before he’s solved the persistent riddles of Jim Moriarty and his game. Together they find that something darker lurks behind Moriarty, forcing Sherlock, John, and Irene Adler into an even deadlier game with a much more dangerous foe. Begins six months after the events of The Reichenbach Fall. Part 1 of the Be Here Now Universe

The Paradox Series by wordstrings (M to E, 98,863 w. across 8 Stories || First Kiss / Time, Mental Health Issues, Moral Ambiguity / Dubious Ethics, Angst, Psychopathy, Depression / Suicidal Ideation, Hurt/Comfort, POV First Person, Possessive Behaviour, Homophobia, Sexuality) – In which what’s in Sherlock’s head is never going to get any better, and John is nearly thrown out of his flat.

Will You Take Me Home? by Jobooksandcoffee (E, 114,689 w., 22 Ch. || Post S4, Post Break Up, Angst With Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Parent-Child Relationship, Therapy, Friends With Benefits, Ex Sex, Messy Idiots, Fights, Mutual Pining, Mutual Jealousy, Slow Burn, Mentions of Drugs/Overdose, Suicidal Ideation) – Inspired by the wondrous "Know You All Over Again” by the brilliant Poppy Alexander, it is story of a painful break up. Two men are looking for ways to cope, to raise their 10 year old girl, to find reasons for going on. They need help of family and friends to make it through. Will each be able to do what the other needs? Will they be able to trust again? Sherlock and John must find themselves and unearth what went wrong, so they can build a new relationship.

Scheherezade by sgam76 (G, 197,576 w., 45 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF/Pre-TSo3, PTSD Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Humour, Protective John, Papa Lestrade, Big Brother Mycroft, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia, Past Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, Drunk Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Suicidal Thoughts / Attempt) – Sherlock is home, he and John are returning to cases, and all’s right with the world–right? But a series of minor mishaps and injuries makes two things very clear to his friends and family: first, Sherlock’s time away wasn’t the grand adventure everyone has assumed it was; and second, that time has left Sherlock with a legacy that’s bleeding into his life today. Sherlock is Not Okay, and it’s not going away. Part 1 of the Scheherezade

Conductivity Series by liriodendron (E, 207,367 w. across 7 works || TRF / Post TRF, ReunionCanon Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Romance, Sexual Tension, First Kiss/Time, Synesthesia, Power Dynamics, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Case Fic, Est. Rel., References to Drug Use, Homophobic Language, Religious Content, Intercrural Sex, Unrequited Love, Angst, References to Suicide, Injury, Anal, Dub. Con, BDSM, Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Sex, Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Break Up) – In which Sherlock Holmes locates his heart, John Watson learns what it’s like to burn, and there is no darkness that cannot be made bright.

Define Vulnerabilty by TheGracefulBlueCat (T, 240,606 w. 97 Ch. || Canon Compliant, Aftermath of Torture, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Sherlock’s Violin, Doctor John, John is a Good Friend, Flashbacks, Case Fic, Sedation, Sherlock is a Mess / Not Okay, Nightmares, Big Brother Mycroft, Asperger’s Sherlock, Fainting, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Triggers, Panic Attacks, Hurt Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Blood and Gore, Drugs / Drug Use, Helpless / Vulnerable Sherlock, Protective John, Painful Repressed Memories, PTSD Sherlock, Medical Procedures, Drugged Lestrade, Lestrade Whump, Drugged Sherlock, Recovery, Crying Sherlock, Dissociation, Forehead Touching) – Shortly after Sherlock’s return John realises something is very wrong with his friend. He, Greg and Mycroft try to help Sherlock as he falls deeper and deeper into the abyss called PTSD. But Sherlock is not ready to allow anyone in, but then the events of the current case cause him to hit bottom hard. Part 8 of the Lessons in Friendship series, Part 1 of the Hiatus series

Radioactive Trees In A Red Forest by Maribor_Petrichor (E, 280,251 w., 73 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S4, Suicidal Ideations, Alcohol / Rx Drug Abuse, Coming Out / Bisexual John, Seizures, Past/Referenced/Implied Child Abuse, Hallucinations, Rehab, Celibacy, Sobriety / Relapse, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Nice/Not Anti-Mary, John’s POV, Parentlock, First Time, Angst, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending) – John Watson is what happens when a man can no longer see a reason to go on. John Watson is what happens when a man starts to let go. “It is what it is.” John Watson is what happens when what “it is” becomes too much to bear. This is a story of the life, death, and resurrection of John Hamish Watson.

The Men Who Talked Between the Words by Odamaki (E, 463,024 w., 30 Ch. || Parentlock, UST/URT, Pining Sherlock, Grieving John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Slow Burn/Build, Case Fic, First Kiss / Time, Implied/Referenced Suicide & Drug Use, Slow Burn, Sherlock Whump, Panic Attacks) – John expected to be a father some day; he expected to have the house, and the wife and the nice suburban job. Sherlock never expected to have children, in part because he never expected to make it past 30. As it turns out, you don’t get a choice. Crammed into Baker Street with a baby, John struggles with single-parenthood and his own fears, while Sherlock treads the fine line between doing too little and saying too much.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #suicidal ideation cw #suicide cw #self harm cw #e-rated fics #depression cw #my fic recs #Anonymous #long post

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ja-khajay · 3 years

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2020-2021 Animation Watch(ed)list

I haven’t posted about animation in a while that I remember, and I know a lot of my followers are into it as much as me so I decided to make a list of the animated movies and series I watched on the past year or so, coupled with my short, spoilerless take on them. Enjoy!

Organized by

Things I saw for the first time

Things I rewatched

Under a cut for the sake of your dashboards! PS: I have not added any images yet. If you are interested in knowing more about the visuals of these movies, I might make an old fashion ask-prompted imageset list.

Part One: Things I saw for the first time

The Bear’s Famous Invasion of Sicily

Movie, 2019, Italian/French

9/10, a delightful little movie with amazing visuals. It feels like an animated picture book.

One of those “plot is in the title” media! I had never heard of this before but was heavily recommended it by my family members, who all loved it! It’s a sweet story, nothing groundbreaking but the unique colorful visual style alone makes it worth it.

The Castle of Cagliostro

Movie, 1979, Japanese

10/10. Reminded me of all the books i loved reading as a child

I assume its because it’s so old and the art style and themes are so different that it gets little to no love compared to other Ghibli movies, which is a shame! It’s fun with an endearing cast and as always, great animation and music

Mushishi

Series, 2006, Japanese

10/10 three episodes in I knew it was going to be my favorite series ever

One of the few things I’ve seen I’ll describe as life-changing. It’s absolutely lovely but never toots its own horn about it. Humble, calming, emotional and surprisingly mature. It’s pretty impossible to binge due to how intense the experience is. I just want to walk in the forest now...

FMA: Brotherhood

Series, 2009, Japanese

6/10 Dissapointing adaptation of a classic story

I read the manga for this when I was in middle school and remembered loving it. The animated version does an ok job of presenting the characters and worldbuilding and has some nice action scenes but overall looks really damn cheap and just. Not very good. Seeing I already knew most of the plot I did not have the element of discovery that made me marvel so much reading the original. It’s still a nice series but I really recommend reading it instead.

Code Lyoko (s1+2)

Series, 2003, french

3/10. 1.5 being for the opening song alone

This show sucks ass if I hadn’t been watching this with my bestie I would have dropped it two episodes in. The art style is ugly the stories are always the same and the first season has a (later removed thank fucking god) LITERAL “erase any consequences” button as a plot device in every episode. If you watch it for one thing let it be the nostalgia factor of early 00s Vidya Game Plot

The Legend of Hei

Movie, 2019, Chinese

7/10. Impressive visuals and a poor story

I finally watched this, peer pressured by the load of gifsets on my dashboard! It’s a sweet movie with really impressive animation, sometimes a bit too flashy for my taste (the action sequences go so ham they become not very readable...) but the story was just ok? The setting is barely explained and you are instead bombarded with vague epicspeech about powers and stuff that made me fondly remember Kingdom Hearts lol but that asides it’s a really good time! I need to watch more Chinese movies the few I know are just delightfully off the shits in how they approach action and I love that

Hunter x Hunter

Series, 1999, Japanese

9/10. Superior to the recent one!

I first got introduced to the series via the 2011 one. Comparatively, the 99 series focuses way less on action and way more on the characters, which I love because that fits my personal preferences! Despite mediocre filler episodes and some weird slight pointless plot changes, what it changes from the original manga doesn’t have much of an impact on the characters. The animation quality isn’t always consistent including a huge art style change for an arc (???) but it’s overall pretty nice. The series really shines in the last arc it adapts.

Oban Star-racers

Series, 2006, Japanese/french

9/10 a lovely surprise

This series is completly obscure despite having been created by people famous for their other series (Cowboy Bebop, Code Lyoko that i can name) and it’s a crime! It’s a kids show but without being stupid about it who tells the story of an inter-planetary race. If you liked that one scene in the star wars prequels you know what I mean. It’s got surprisingly nice animation for a TV series, and some truly great character design. The art style is a bit unique in a not for everyone sense, but I didn’t mind it much. It’s also THE most offensively 2000s series i’ve seen in terms of visuals. y2k kids assemble

The Little Prince and the Eight-Headed Dragon

Movie, 1963, japanese

8/10. Classic fairytale format with incredible visuals

Watched this for the art style because I know it inspired Samurai Jack, and it delievered! I dont’ have much to say about this one, it’s a very simply film but it’s sweet. For my pirates out there if you want to find it in good quality with english subtitles it’s VERY hard to find. If you just want to see the looks of it, it’s on Youtube with portugese subs.

We now enter the Gobelins Shorts Zone....!

My Friend Who Glows In The Dark

10/10 makes me cry each time

Pure delight...great animation writing everything. A little short about death and friendship but not in the way you imagine!

Colza

9/10

Visual treat...homely and nice :) not far from a 10 but a 9 because nothing about it is that groundbreaking

Sundown

9/10

If you’ve ever been ten minutes from failing a group project because of a single dude you will REALLY enjoy this. Loved the colors and personality

T’as vendu mes rollers?

10/10

It’s SUCH a sweet little short I loved that one so much

Dix-huit kilomètres trois

10/10

Surprisingly well written dialog. Visuals are great but the humanity of the characters carries this to another level

Un diable dans la poche

9/10

Amazing visuals and the most tense/creepy of Gobelin shorts i’ve ever seen. Chilling

La bestia

8/10

I had some issues with the pacing. Interesting story and visuals choices but I was not fond of the art style

Goodbye Robin

5/10

Confusing but predictable. Both at once??? Yes!

Le retour des vagues

6/10

Cool animation stuff but felt pretty pointless

***

Part Two: Things I rewatched

Ruben Brandt: Collector

Movie, 2018, Hungarian

10/10. Underrated as hell

Watched this fully blind for the first time in an animated festival and rewatched it with friends. It’s a crime I never see anyone talking about it given the amount of whining I see about the lack of both adult animation and 2D movies? This film is a unique love letter to art in the form of a weird mix of charming crime story and psychological horror with amazing visuals. I recommend watching it blind and also buying it to show appreciation for how nice it is!!! WATCH THIS MOVIE...

Mononoke

Series, 2007, Japanese

10/10 Visual/storytelling masterpiece in the weird shit departement

If you can stomach intense stuff watch this. The visuals are incredibly unique and beautiful and under the jewel tones and art direction high takes it’s a really cool horror series. My only obstacle to enjoying it the first time I saw it was how dense it is - simply put, it’s so...culturally Japanese it’s not very accessible to me who doesn’t know anything about the culture? Watching it for the second time helped understanding the stories more!

Corto Maltese in Siberia

Movie, 2002, french

9/10 but really close to ten. A great adaptation!

I’m a huge fan of the original comic so I entered this a biiiittttt suspicious it would suck but it was a really pleasant surprise! It has all the wonder and charm of the original and the animation was surprisingly good for the little budget. If you’re not familiar with the series, it’s a sort of geopolitical action/adventure movie but with it’s own really poetic vibe to it. It’s almost impossible to find online but happens to be fully on YouTube so go ham I guess?

Redline

Movie, 2009, Japanese

10/10 cinema was invented for this, actually

Every review of this movie i’ve seen gives it five stars and starts by talking about how immensly stupid it is. I’m no different. It’s a masterpiece of escalating energy with the depth of a puddle and it fucking rules. It’s free on YouTube too so there really is no excuse to not watch it. Watched it for the first time on a huge cinema screen and despite this my second rewatch on my small laptop was as/even more enjoyable. If you watch this stoned with friends you might travel to another dimension

Spirited Away

Movie, 2001, Japan

10/10 deserves the love it gets

I watched this a single time as a kid and had little memory of it! I mean it’s Ghibli you know it’s going to be good as hell but this one rly shines in how colorful and detailed it is and in it’s world! It made me remember I had a huge crush on the dragonboy as a kid. I’m gay now

Kung-fu Panda (1&2)

Movie, Usa

10/10. KFP fucking rules

Honestly my favorite franchise of the whole disney/dreamworks/pixar hydra. It’s fun as hell, doesn’t skip a single beat and has amazing animation and character designs. If something is a good time I will not care if it’s deep or not and boy I fucking love these movies

Sinbad, Legend of the Seven Seas

Movie, 2003, Usa

5/10 Some great some really bad and overall generic

I tend to hate american cinema and this includes that era of animation I have no nostalgia for. Sinbad is in a weird place because I love adventure stories and the visuals of the movie absolutely deliver but it’s very predictable and TANKED by the addition of the female character, pushed in your face as “look we have woman!!!” despite her writing being misogynistic as hell lol. The evil goddess rules tho. This movie would have been a solid 9 if instead of the girl the two dudes had kissed

#j #animation #if you want links to these ill provide but not for the indie ones that arent free #i have no remorse p*rating disney or a movie thats over 50 but if its recent and underrated just legally get it!!!

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theproblemsofdonhi · 3 years

Text

The HIghway through 2020

(A review of everything I

Read/watch/play in 2020)

Beaststars

Ah yes, the hurny furry anime. This one was a weird one cus I didn’t know what I was getting into when I started this show. I knew about a big wolf man and a small rabbit lady, and that was it. So, you can understand my surprise when the “almost blowjob” scene happened. I was shocked? Yes. Did I stopped watching just like I have done with so many animes less explicit than this one? No. Cus this one took the effort to MAKE CHARACTER before going horny, so I wanted to keep going FOR the character and their stories, not cus sexy furry. That was just a plus to the rest of it.

JoJolion

I’ll say nothing other than, this is it. It is my favorite JOJO part.

But we are more than 100 chapters in and still no JoJo-lion so 0/10 fucking masterpiece.

She-ra

I don’t know what to say about this one really.

I mean, it’s good. This is a good show, and also has the medal of being the only DreamWorks 2D-show to not crash and burn cus of DreamWorks.

Go watch, it’s really gay or whatever.

Resident evil 4

It's amazing that I have being in the world of videogames for more than 10 year now and I’ve never touch RE4, in fact the only RE game that I ever own was RE6... you know... the bad one. So, it’s even more impressive that this old ass game still holds up in 2020, and the only bad thing that it has, is that I didn’t play it sooner. What a good fucking game.

BNA

So, I don’t know if you know but, there is going to be a cyberpunk anime on Netflix in like 2022 made by studio trigger. So, wanting to see what the team was capable of, I checked their last work, BNA.

Aaaand it’s bad. To the point that if you take out the good animation, there is nothing to this anime. It has an interesting premise but, it does the minimum with it. To the point that when I got to the middle of it, the animal stuff wasn’t interesting anymore.

Also, the finale is terrible but I’m not going to talk about it, I’ll just say that my sister got so mad cus this show was treating her as she was stupid.

Mulan (2020)

This bad

People who were part of this bad

Disney fucking bad (and yes, I’m being totally unreasonable here cus I don’t like Disney as a company).

Also Go see jay’s video on Mulan (HERE). It's my favorite of all the reviews out there. Thats my recommendation of the day.

Kipo

this:

Amphibia

Season two it’s overall worst that season one. It's not BAD in any way but, I didn’t like it as much.

The Halloween special it’s top tier though.

The last of us part 2

I didn’t play it. I watch it all. It's trash

Yakuza like a dragon

I didn’t play it. I watch it all. 10/10 game of the year.

Warframe

I played this thing for 300 hours. That's a good game. It never excited me ones.

Halo the master chief collection

Being able to play these games of my childhood, all together in one place really help me this year.

Black mesa

The fact that this exists, that the owner of the IP let them do it, and the team who made it can profit from it, it’s insane to me. Things like this just don’t happen. They are not supposed to exist, yet here we are.

Steven universe future

If you have followed me for some time, you may have noticed that around the airing of SUF was when I started to draw more about other shows and less steven universe content.

This was cus the end to the story that made me to the person I am today, wasn’t exactly of my liking. To put it simple... I didn’t think it was interesting and by the end I just wanted to be done already.

After that, I just stop thinking about SU for some time. Yes, there was some drawing here and there, but the passion I had before was gone.

That was until, i live it by myself. Without telling details, let's just say that I now have experience with the themes of steven universe future, so I decide to try it again.

And let me tell you...

I have never felt like a story was laughing at me, as this show did. By the end I felt sick to how childish mental illness could be portrayed.

I get what they were going for but men, they did one terrible job.

Before I have my problems with the plot and character, but this, this attacks me.

And I hated it.

Wow, after that I guess I need to end this on a more positive note, cus I also needed something more positive this year.

And I got it.

From the most unusual of places, I watch a show with everything I love and more, in storytelling.

Without knowing, I started a six months adventure that took me from the simpler and fun of situations, to some of the saddest moments I have ever read. I experience friendship, brotherhood... I felt pain, lost. I did feel bad, but no matter what, at the tourn of those downer moments, there would a page of hope and happiness. There would be good food, stories to tell, song to sing, wisdom to pass down, and most important, a crew that were more than family.

And that's why after 6 months, I’m here, on the shores of Wano, alongside the pirates that waited for me.

So I thank you. For being there for me this year.

Thank you, One Piece.

#my thoughts #my way through

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lil-miss-methodical · 5 years

Photo

On My Block Season 2 threw down the metaphorical artistic gauntlet & there ain’t a Squad gully enough to pick it up.

I hope people who've seen season one and now season two realize that what's taken place before their eyes is called elevation. This is how an ongoing show is supposed to handle things. Season one laid down a foundation for its audience and season two did not make the silly mistake of disregarding that foundation but instead pulled that bitch from under the audience’s feet to give us that freefall feeling and then used it to cushion our fall - reminding exactly why we loved it. it had me hyped, made me laugh, made me cry - often all in the same episode. Things that I thought were gonna happen didn’t happen how I thought they were gonna happen and that's how they kept me perched, on edge, interested even through sleep deprivation.

These were the same characters I’d grown to love in season one. Despite the hardship, despite the bullshit they returned to us the characters whom we’d grown to know and love and unveiled them just a bit more. When jamal rolled in money - I felt as though i was rolling in the dough. When Monse was telling Cesar what to do I was nodding along as though she was me, as though her opinions were mine. When Jasmin spoke I listened for a lesson was being given. When Cesar or Ruby cried - we all cried.

The musical scale out did the last and I didn’t even know that was possible. from the very first song they used to open the show and place all of us in our feelings - to the return of the track that left such a huge mark last season. They music not only to alter how we feel moment to moment, but to make authentic the era, style and culture the show is marked upon.

The Breakdown:

This season is broken down into two variables - solo hero's journey & and overarching theme. The former can be elements as such:

- Ruby's battle with PTSD

- Monse's battle of solidifying her feet instead of running

- Jamal's fight to be shine, be seen, be respected (and that has as much to do with audience as with Squad)

- Cesar's unsettled feeling of being alone (although he and we really learn how much he has)

- Jasmin staking her claim to her position

With season one ending in a death of a loved on and a wound of his own - we find Ruby healing. At first he's in a state of denial...This is a reality many black and brown people find themselves suck in, not about the mishap no, but about the trauma that comes with it. Like Ruby, we disassociate. We go with a 'it's life, bad shit happens, yet I'm alive and I should see the blessing in that and keep pushing forward' mentality that does not allow us to first dissect that trauma and journey through that pain as we should. The show acknowledges that damage and thus we end up having seemingly unlikely people help Ruby he's not only on a journey but deserves to allow himself to take that path to real recovery. Jason Genao did such a wonderful job - from the simplicity of wanting to unwind with some spontaneous party organizing to the quick emotional windup that taunts when something reminds you of your trauma.

Monse is the character I relate to the most because I see myself in the nature of her traits while also being able to identify with her internal struggle. Being abandoned put puts a complex within an individual that most people cannot understand - def it's that first abandonment is by a parent who we're taught is supposed to love, protect and be there for us. People who are abandoned can either gain traits of being clingy or having issues forming a bond or leaving. Monse of course like most has a duality of this. The bond is important to her and she'll do anything to maintain it but on the other hand she has a sense to leave when stuff it too uncomfortable. We see this several time in this season alone. But the real lesson for Monse is not a reprehend on her fears or traits but reality of being loved and accepted. No matter what you do, where you go, you love us and we love you and we'll be waiting when you get back.

Jamal is that character doesn't get the respect he deserves - that in story and from the audience that watches the show. The show took this in hand this season. As Jamal never ceased to remind the squad of his work on their behalf he steepled his worth asl and the actor that plays him, Brett Gray, yet again flexed his comedic chops for the masses yet again. I think Jamal doesn't understand how iconic he is, how amazing he is for those in story and out. He's coming off of that high of being on the heels of an adventure.

Jasmin also got shine this season. They humanize her without changing her, dimming her light or having her apologize for who she is as women have to do when the world feels they're too boisterous, too loud in tone, look and voice. She loved herself enough to remain true to herself and those who took the time out to see who that was, got to love her. Like all the characters she was opinionated, and even when the whole crew don't realize it she has something to add to the squad - thus what allows her to be the honorary member of the team. Also Jessica Garcia is another comedic genius in the element.

Cesar went from being in the hard place of his brother's gang to being in what seemed like an impossible place of no gang and seemingly no protection. Exiled from the Santos he's literally homeless and isolated from his last remaining relative. He find himself shipping from one one home to the next, exhausted with having to adapt to different family cultures. This was interesting because as they show we are ironically who we are in part do to our family living styles at home. There were a lot of jokes about Cesar's one color tanks and knee high shorts but when he starts surfing from house to house you get to see this 'culture' of how these people lived from an outsiders perspective - the man chilling vibe he received with Monse's dad. The rushed, lively, full feeling of Ruby's home that at first felt crowded to him. The eccentric way Jamal ran his bedroom. Even the weirdness of Chivo and his 'family'. While these aspects of these difference threw him of kilter at first he learned to appreciate and truly love each and everyone for those same difference. He learned the art of gratitude because people tend to treat their homes as their safe places - not just for heir forms but their identities. We can be exact who we are in the face of our homes. As he thought he had nothing, those around him that loved him welcomed him into their safe space - despite the physical danger. This bonded his relationship with these people even more because there's a difference in saying we're family and you showing that I'm your family. And yes it was beautiful to see them credit the two black men of the parenthood for taking this kids life seriously and holding court for him. It was beautiful watching him come to love and appreciate Jamal and understand the wealth that comes with this friendship and making a strong brotherhood (def considering the war of gangs between brown and black men).

Every character must thread their given path to meet in a middle of shorts with everyone else. And noticed I didn't say they must complete the journey - travel it alone. We get the the end satisfied but still with the knowledge that the work is yet to be done. Ruby's PTSD and pain did not magically dissolve. Monse's abandonment issues didn't evaporate into nothingness. Jamal may have sculpt his worthiness yet the anxiety of 'what's next' still snipes at him. Cesar may have learned to appreciate what he does have but lost in the aspect of independence and what that means in the face of those around him that he loves and how to make that not mean being alone. Jasmin may have Ruby and us kneeling at her feet learning the error of our ways but she still got 3 other members to break.

It is these individual journeys that push the narrative forward, that reveals the overarching theme so to speak. Without these journeys there's nothing to carry the overarching theme. This is what I call great writing because it forces the threads to connect but still allows all individual characters to have their own position in the story that equals out.

The Revelation of a Theme:

Everything about this season was about family. When we watched Spooky, Mario, and Jasmin help guide Ruby through his symptoms of PTSD and trauma, what we were witnessing was family at work. When Cesar, Jamal, and Ruby laughed while rolling their eyes in disbelief of Monse's leaving for good speech - thats was love. When they tell her you'll be back and we'll be here...that was the understanding of family. When we see those around Jamal grow to see his worth by working to this appreciation its an aspect of a real family’s effort. The sacrifice, and support that came both for and from Cesar was hella representation of family. Jasmin’s whole storyline is the representation of new family.

This season didn't truffle with pointlessness. They didn't find conflict by creating false hate between the characters. They didn't drag this aspect of 'let's blame Cesar' or have that be an easy tension between him and Ruby. As a matter of fact their bond was deepened. Ruby had no hate in his heart for Cesar, instead he embraced his brother in the street and they cried, for themselves and each other.

This whole season was about being willing to sacrifice, being willing to be selfless for those you love. Everyone allowing Cesar to live with them, Jamal allowing it to be 'our' money, Monse's dad not trying to force her to stay away from her mom despite his feelings where Julia was concerned, them risking it to clean the money, Jamal giving up the gnome. Their rush to burn the money when they thought it would put someone else life in danger.

It was this concept of sacrifice and selflessness that sends Cesar after Latrelle in hopes of freeing his friends when Ruby comes to him distraught.

Cesar on most scopes is not a killer. As he told his brother he's not cut from the cloth of gang life. We see him called pussy for not being about that life. For not being able to end a life over turf wars, money, or Ill-intent words thrown his way. But as everyone had to show what they were willing to do for the concept of family - so too did Cesar. Good or bad - we saw what Cesar would be willing to pull the trigger for.

They all loved eachother, with that love came a protection and a fight to rival any and all that didn't have good intentions. This season was love. It was family, sacrifice, acceptance, respect. Ruby was willing to heal for it, Monse willing to stay for it, Jamal willing to fight for it, Jasmin is willing to be patient for it, Cesar was willing to kill for it. OMB is about this diverse mix of kids who have this bond that they've learned to nurture. It's speak on who they're allowed to be because it and how far they're willing to go to keep it.

In my last review my byline was "On my block, squad means family" and this season has proven that for this crew, squad still and always will mean Familia.

How do you define family and how do you allow it to define you?

Other post/aspects to be on the look out for:

Mario/Ruby vs Spooky/Cesar Cesar X Monse - The breakdown Monse Family -The genius Jamal/Jasmin Jasmin/Ruby

Don’t forget to follow me for future post and reviews!

#on my block #omb #netflix original series #cesar diaz #monse finnie #ruby martinez #Jamal Turner #oscar spooky #jasmin #diego tinoco #jessica garcia #sierra capri #jason genao #brett gray #season 2 #review #Entertainment

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orionsangel86 · 5 years

Text

Some honest thoughts...

As many of you know, I have tried to remain very positive lately about the show and the current direction. I have always tried to speak my mind and not mislead my followers especially regarding a topic that we are all so very passionate about. This is why I want to write down some things that have played on my mind lately.

Long post under the cut

I have always been honest about my analysis of the show, and what I interpret as I watch. What I don’t think is made clear enough by many of us meta writers is that sometimes the direction of the show changes, sometimes the change is slow, sometimes it happens abruptly. All we can do is let the show guide us. We let the meta guide US, rather than force it to fit our preferred reading.

The one thing I have always tried to avoid, regardless of what idiots on Twitter might claim, is confirmation bias. I will not let my desire for canonically romantic Destiel endgame affect my meta reading of the show. I ALWAYS force myself to see other perspectives and usually, the show still pleasantly surprises me by loading the subtext with Destiel themes.

I have written several posts on the topic lately to remind you all of my current stance:

My view on canon endgame Destiel (plus additions by others)

My view on the business side of things

My last meta piece on endgame themes in Season 14

Since the announcement that Season 15 was the last, I have suffered a whole range of emotions, and many of those were relating to my fear over Destiel. My desire for it to be brought to text is shared by so many of you, I am just another fan like any of you who desperately wants this love story honoured and done RIGHT. My optimism has constantly jumped up and down from episode to episode, from one PR release to another. I can’t make up my bloody mind.

I’m scared.

I’ll probably be mocked for saying that. I half expect the assholes to grab hold of this post when I’m done and use it to twist my words and attack Destiel shippers with. The one thing you can always count on with absolute certainty is the predictability of the bronlies and *others* who have recently aligned themselves with them. I’ll blow them a kiss now and be done with it.

This isn’t a post to announce a *change* of heart as such, but like @tinkdw wrote this morning my optimism on endgame romantic Destiel is currently at a low point.

Ever since the end of the S12/13 escalation after 13x06, I have had this horrible voice in the back of my head telling me that such an abrupt change of pace probably came from higher up. Suddenly jumping from a heavily romantic Destiel arc to zero Destiel focus was extremely jarring and confusing enough even for the general audience to be confused with.

Since then, whilst we HAVE had quite a nice helping of Destiel elements in the show to keep us going, the lack of follow up on that escalation at THIS point is starting to concern me. There is still definitely intentional subtext being laid down for us to enjoy, but in my opinion it has fallen back into the realm of plausible deniability and the characters can easily be viewed as platonic friends/brothers.

Instead, there has been a drastic increase in the focus on found family and the Winchester family unit lately - centering around TFW being the parents of Jack. Sam, Dean, and Cas have all been presented as three equal father figures to their son, the majority of PR has treated the three show leads very equal, and this in itself is amazing for a show that has so often side lined Cas in previous years. This is still a hug win for anyone who sits in camp “Cas is a lead and this show is more than the brothers”.

I always used to say when Dabb took over, that this was a good thing for Cas fans. I still maintain this stance. Cas is more present than ever as an equal to Sam and Dean, and sure they have their disagreements, but his character journey is integral to the brothers journey now. There is absolutely no way that this show will end without the three of them together - whether in life or in death. If it does, then I will be flinging my laptop into the wall in utter despair.

The latest episode was a heavily emotional send off for Mary Winchester. I was expecting her death, though for a short time there I hoped that perhaps it would be subverted. I feel like she was honoured well, but at the same time I am upset that she was given no choice in the matter, and I will never fully be satisfied with her death as on a very basic level, it was yet another fridging. I also recoiled at the idea that her heaven included John Winchester - after an early season build of a potential new relationship with Bobby (one that was heavily DeanCas coded) this is another change of direction that left me blinking in the headlights. It is another element that has shaken my faith in the show’s ability to logically plot story direction. The one comfort I can take here, is that the John from Mary’s heaven was NOT the actual soul of John Winchester, but a happy memory of him. Mary’s heaven’s front door clearly only states her own name. Her and John have never been actual soulmates - just forced soulmates for heavens purposes. I can’t berate Mary on her happy memories of her marriage, but from a narrative perspective it feels like a regression of sorts, put there purely for sentimental purposes. Had it been clear that it was John’s soul, it would have been far worse and I would be in a far worse frame of mind right now.

I have seen some really great meta on this latest episode talking about how Mary’s death has shown once again the difference between Dean and Cas, and Sam and Cas, and how Dean’s extreme emotional reaction to Cas’s desperate attempt to shelter Jack and the brothers from further pain indicates an emotional bond between them beyond the realm of platonic friendship and brotherhood. I really want to agree with this reading. I do. I can see it, and I agree that this could potentially lead to a discussion between them that is desperately overdue.

But I can also easily see this being overlooked. I can see Bucklemming stomping into the story next episode with their gigantic clumsy boots and crushing all of Bobo’s delicately weaved plot full of call backs, mirrors and poetic symmetry. I can see the DeanCas *conversation* that we have been eagerly awaiting now for nearly 2 whole seasons being once again left behind.

After the series end announcement, I looked back at several episodes that aired recently, and I speculated that the writers have known this since at least episode 300. Too much of what has been said in the scripts since is obviously a message to the fans. Therefore, everything we are currently watching is also already “the endgame” because the writers at this point should start wrapping up loose plot threads and focusing on finalising the character stories. Setting things up for the big finale.

This is why I believe 14x14′s shock end with Michael being destroyed so easily by Jack happened. I seriously doubt that is how it was originally supposed to go. They needed to clear the path for Jack rather than having various different plots running simultaneously like they usually do.

This is also why I am slightly anxious about Cas’s Empty deal. If this becomes a thread picked up for season 15 great, but I can also see them easily resolving it in some outlandish way to instead focus on whatever big final story will be the focus in season 15. I would love Cas’s deal TO be the focal story, and if this happens, I will also regain faith in a romantic Destiel subplot, but I am wavering.

Since the writers knew when writing the current run of episodes in season 14 that the season would wind up and prepare for the endgame, if they intended Destiel to be brought to text, I was expecting something more than what we have got. Perhaps I’m just finally burnt out, but frankly I don’t think that the way Dean treated Cas in this latest episode read as a lovers spat, I don’t see intentional romance being coded into their scenes together, and I certainly don’t see any indication from Jensen Ackles in his acting choices that Dean is struggling with a deep love for Cas vs his grief over the loss of his mum. I see loss, and anger, and an outstanding performance yes, but his treatment of Cas was far too cold. In fact, when I look purely at Jensen and Dean over the past season, his interactions with Cas have all been rather cold in my mind. I’m sorry to say this, and I would welcome anyone reaching out to me to point out examples where this view is incorrect. But compare his interactions with Cas to any interactions with Sam, and the difference is obvious, and not in a good way.

Misha, on the other hand, as always, has spectacularly portrayed Cas’s love for Dean in such an outstanding and heartbreaking way. Throughout this episode his anguish was so evident. He took my breath away, and that final scene when he tries to go to Dean, but Sam stops him, that really made me want to cry.

So I am still confused, and concerned, because where I see Misha continuing to act his heart out in favour of the love story, I see nothing of the same from Jensen - not since early season 13 anyway. If Destiel was truly on the cards, shouldn’t there be more in the way of early season 13? Are my expectations really so high to want something more than mere one sided scraps?

I need to stress here that I understand the many excuses given towards Dean’s sometimes offish behaviour. He represses his emotions, he hides his feelings, he comes across angry when he is worried. He gets aggressive and violent when scared. I know all of this and will accept this IF the next two episodes SHOW me that he is ALSO capable of apology, of the kind of care and feeling towards Cas that he always gives to Sam.

Because we HAVE seen that softer, more loving Dean regularly in Season 14. We have seen outstanding performances from Jensen in that respect - but only ever towards Sam, or Mary, or occasionally Jack. He has never shown Cas that same treatment. Again, I appeal to you, especially to other meta writers, to point out clear examples of where I am wrong. Because I really really want you to change my mind. Show me where Dean is obviously looking at Cas with clear romantic love, where the music sweeps and his face betrays his emotion the way it does for Misha whenever Cas is with Dean.

Of course, there is a rational argument here. That this is all done purposely specifically for the Destiel drama. If this is the case then GREAT. I want it. Believe me I do. But we have two episodes left of this season and one of them will be a huge mess of pacing, action, clunky plot and terrible dialogue, and the other will be the finale which appears to be mostly taken up by Chuck’s return IMO. I can’t see any DeanCas outstanding drama being resolved in the next two episodes. I really REALLY want to be wrong. But if they don’t resolve that DeanCas drama by season end, then IMO the story between them will remain familial. Because a Dean Winchester coming out story in the final season alone just isn’t plausible.

Again, I stress that I want to be wrong here, but the writers knew the end was coming when they wrote these last few episodes, and if Destiel was something they were doing, then they would have written it into the end of this season. I’m not saying I need a canon reveal, but I do need something more than the scraps we have been given if I am to have my faith rekindled.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore all the focus on found family, and I fully expect season 15 to further push the Winchesters to finally show to Cas how much he is part of their family. I even think there is a good chance that we could get his name carved on the table by final season end - following that heartbreaking shot of Mary’s initials next to her son’s in 14x18. But I don’t see it being romantic, if there is no romantic push coming up. It is far too easy right now for the show to reinforce the notion that Cas is another brother. I do love that the story is developing down a clear path where Cas will likely choose to be human and live a human life with his brothers, but brothers is all they will be.

I really hope I am wrong, but in amongst all the speculation of this big Destiel reunion and conversation that is long overdue, I can’t help but remember that we have been waiting for this conversation for nearly two years. Just because fandom remembers and holds on to the overtly romantic S12/13 escalation doesn’t mean a general audience will remember this. They will only see the present, and in the present Dean and Cas do not act like a romantic couple. If another long hiatus goes by without that conversation having occurred, it is yet another gap in which the general audience will forget, and the writers will be able to drop it as they have always dropped it previously.

This is endgame, we can’t afford to have the deancas important plot points dropped anymore. We can’t afford to have their conversations, and apologies, and moments of making up, left in the subtext. We NEED to have that stuff shown the way they show it if it is Sam and Dean.

If they aren’t planning on doing that, then I doubt there will even be a “Destiel” plot to meta about. It will remain in subtext, as scraps, and maybe something ambiguous right at the end as a saving grace in order to not completely destroy the shows legacy once complete.

The further we move away from any substantial Destiel elements, the more and more likely it is that a CW exec already pulled the plug on it. As much as I love Bobo, and still enjoyed this episode for its melancholic poetic beauty, his own bitterness over Wayward Sisters still shows clearly in his writing (in my opinion) and I don’t believe he truly has his heart in it the way Steve Yokey does. I sometimes wonder if his lack of passion for his episodes recently is to do with more than just the loss of Wayward Sisters. Could Bobo also be upset about a “no” on Destiel?

The saving grace here being that Yokey still fills his episode with passion and plenty of queer coding. Yokey is the other person on the writing team who I focus on in terms of accusations of queerbaiting. Yokey certainly wouldn’t queerbait his own community, but unlike Bobo where there appears to be a certain bitterness over his place on the show, Yokey still embraces his role and seems very happy with it. If they had truly been given a red light from the execs, then wouldn’t Yokey also be feeling kinda pissed off that he is working on a show that is potentially going to go down in history as the biggest queerbait since TV began?

Aside from Bobo, which can be explained by Wayward Sisters, there is still passion and joy from the writing team, and if they were truly aware that Destiel wasn’t happening, I don’t think they would be so proud. So maybe there is still hope after all? They aren’t the kind of people to intentionally queerbait their fanbase. Yet Destiel has definitely been an intentional part of their storytelling for years.

I truly hope that the next two episodes rekindle my faith, but right now I have very little hope for textual romance. I am still 100% on board with the found family, Cas is definitely a Winchester and third lead focus that the show has been pushing. It brings me a lot of joy. But yeah, I need a lot more than we are currently getting if Destiel is really still on track.

Sorry guys. Perhaps I am just not quite out of my rough patch this week. I am fickle enough that by next week I could have totally changed my mind again, but as always. These are my opinions, not to be inflicted on anyone else. You are responsible for managing your own expectations. This is how I manage mine.

xxx

#supernatural #destiel #supernatural endgame #endgame destiel #spn speculation #spn spoilers #season 14 #season 15 #my thoughts #they aren't positive sorry guys #14x18 #my opinions #manage your own expectations #these are mine #the great queerbait debate #destiel dreaming

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hwhelldayum-blog-blog · 5 years

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I Figured It Out (A Gummi Phone Rant)

So I loved Kingdom Hearts 3. It answered a lot of questions I had, reunited the sea salt and the Wayfinder trios, and validated why I spent so much time on my phone playing a mobile game people kept telling me to quit because it would never be part of the whole story. However, something about the story left me unsatisfied. I’ll probably do a post about my feelings on the game as a whole, but there is one specific thing I want to discuss (three guesses based on the title.)

Yes I am talking about the Gummi Phone. Spoiler/not really spoiler Chip and Dale send Sora the Gummi Phone so he can keep in contact with them and Ienzo because plot purposes. Also installed on the phone is Jimimy’s journal, a secret emblem count, treasure count, play games, take selfies and a few other things. But plot-wise this phone is used to contact Mickey/Riku, Chip/Dale and Ienzo throughout cutscenes.

Now being a girl who picks up her phone in the morning before she picks up her glasses I can happily tell you that one of the best features of the phone is the ability to communicate to others knowing that the message would get to the recipient when they had time to read it. Thus time constraints are a second thought when you can text something you just thought of or even life events you cannot wait to share with others. It is why instagram, snapchat, youtube, facebook and tumblr are so prevalent in modern day life.

Speaking of which during the game all of the transitions from place to place have a psuedo-instagram posts. They feature the worlds Sora goes to, Ienzo and Riku being deep, and Mickey trying to humanize his uber-strict teacher. I mention this because when they first showed up I got so excited, but then they just cycled through the same fifteen posts and I was disappointed. I bring up these posts because I feel thy could have helped with communication in another way.

One of my biggest gripes with this still fantastic game is the lack of communication between the main #1 trio of the entire series: The Destiny Trio. When the trailers came out I was so excited to see Sora, Riku, and Kairi rekindle their friendship after being stuck doing things high school students should not have to. Instead they isolate all three from each other and then try to crunch their communication to 2 at a time per character for about an hour and a half of cutscene time. And this is for a game that has about 12 hours worth of cutscenes. Now I believe they could have done an easier way to make sure these cinnamon rolls could have been in constant communication throughout the whole game and it all starts with this gosh darned gummi phone.

Now lets say that there was another button to select on the gummi phone menu. Lets call it... Snapstagram. After some important cutscenes or after completing worlds, you can log into Snapstagram and BAM! Look who is posting. It’s Kairi sending a selfie with Lea about her training and Riku being #plaidbrothers with King MIckey. Finished with Corona? Well guess what? Kairi successfully beat up Lea in a sparring match. Meanwhile Riku revisted radiant garden and reunited with Leon and Cloud for a selfie. But most importantly you have the option of commenting one thing for each post by your two besties. Not only is this a way to keep these three paopu-fruitnuts in constant contact but also lets the players follow Riku and Kairi on their progress with their missions.

Now I know what you are thinking: But wouldn’t that be a lot of programming for the Kingdom hearts team? First off, they had 13 years to work out the details of this game. Secondly THEY HAD 13 YEARS TO WORK OUT THE DETAILS OF THIS GAME. But most importantly they have done something similar to this concept in an earlier game. FFXV.

Check it. Spoiler/You’ve had plenty of time to play this game not spoiler: Noctis and Luna are arranged to marry but since they live in rival areas their only means of communication has been this journal sent back and forth by Luna’s magical dog Umbra. Every time Luna sent Noctis a letter about how she is excited to be reunited with him, Noctis has the option to give one reply to her. Now in FFXV, so far we have only seen Luna and Noctis communicate when they were children in flashbacks, the heartbreaking death scene, and the fully completed are they in heaven post credits scene. If the player has not watched Kingsglaive of FFXV Brotherhood, they do not see Luna for more than 30 minutes of the entire game. But this constant communication between the two lovers give those players enough information to get “Yeah they are a long distance relationship and I should care about the girl my character feels this strongly about.

A common trend I see in the Kingdom hearts thread is the lack of communication with Kairi in particular with Sora and then Nomura kind of hoping the players assume they don’t need communication, but that is my problem. The main theme of the whole kingdom hearts games since number one is that Sora’s friends are his power. I realize that quite a few people believe this means his friendship with Donald and Goofy (And don’t get me wrong if anything happened to either of my disney brothers I would kill all 13 darknesses, 7 lights and then myself in an instant) but the journey started because Sora was separated from both Riku and Kairi.

Now people believe that Riku has so much communication with Sora but I need to remind you that Riku popped up in brief moments of Sora’s life in KH1 while Kairi was a litteral resident in Sora’s heart most of the game. COM Riku’s route only happened after Sora went beddy-bye. No Kairi communication but no real Riku connection either. KH2 Riku and Kairi slipped between Sora’s fingers most of the game until Endgame. So equal communication. DDD No Kairi but Riku also didn’t truly communicate with Sora except for before and after the Mark of Mastery exam. But he was Sora’s dream eater so it makes up for the time Kairi was literally in sora’s heart. So Lack of Communication is pretty equal between all three hot messes.

Now if they were able to have something to keep in touch to make sure the other two were safe that would satisfy the small part of me that turned sour when the other two trios were reunited and the main group got the shaft. The Wayfinder Trio during BBS had constant scenes between them and constantly verbally worried about each other the whole game. The sea salt trio had mostly scenes between duos but they were spread evenly during their game so each character had their own grievances about their breakup. Sora, Kairi, and Riku got the opposite. Equal amount of time in the past games, but this game when it was supposed to be the ultimate reunion story they had nothing until endgame.

With Snapstagram, not only does it give us background on mission progression for the non-player friends, it tells the players who did not play 1 or 2 enough information to go “These are my best friends I would die for them”. When I came to this conclusion a few hours ago I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I love KH3 and I kept wondering why I was so unsatisfied. If they game had utilized the gummi phone to be more like a regular phone, I think it would have been an easy was to solve some of the story issues that players had with the game.

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galadrieljones · 5 years

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A Funeral: Chapter 20 (Arthur Morgan x Mary Beth Gaskill)

Fandom: Red Dead Redemption 2 | Pairing: Arthur x Mary Beth | Rating: Mature

Content: Existential Angst, Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Nature, Touch-Starved, Humor, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Fake Marriage, Epiphanies, Backstory, Banter, Deep Emotions, Sharing a Bed, Swimming, Arthur to the Rescue, Forests, Abduction, Angst, Heavy Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Sexual Content, Sexual Themes, Adult Content, Canon Divergence, Found Families, Brotherhood, Fatherhood

Summary: To help her process Sean’s death, Mary Beth asks Arthur to take her on a hunting trip, somewhere far away. He agrees, and on their journey, they find quietude and take comfort in their easy bond. They’ve been friends for a while now, but life is full of uncertainty and complications, and in their desperate search for meaning together, they endure a number of trials, some small, some big—all of which bring them closer to the insidious dangers of the natural world, as well as to one another, and to their future.

Credit to @bearly-tolerable for the banner!! Art is my own.

***For the rest of this story, you can visit the masterpost or AO3, both linked in the replies to this post and also at my blog.***

Chapter 20: A Man of No Mystery

They walked along the swampy river bank. Dutch had his hands in his pockets. He seemed highly contemplative, almost dreamy. Arthur was curious and unperturbed, but he did feel distant—in a way he had not truly felt before. Like he was on the outside of things now, looking in. He adjusted his hat, lit a cigarette, smoked casually. Once they got far enough away from the property, he heard Dutch make a huge, walloping sigh. Then Dutch stopped, hands still shoved in his pockets. He stared up at the long, white clouds.

“How are you, son?” he said, searching.

“I’m good,” said Arthur. “I heard things was quiet, while we was gone.”

“That, they were,” said Dutch. He nodded, as if affirming his own sense of solace. “That they were.”

“What’s going on, Dutch?”

“I heard that you and Miss Gaskill—you’ve kindled something. Something…real.” Finally, he looked at Arthur. “Is that true?”

Arthur smoked. He tried seeing the earnestness in Dutch’s eyes. He thought, maybe it was true. Maybe it was. “Yes, sir,” he said. “Is that what you wanna talk about?”

“It is,” said Dutch. “I mean, there’s a great deal to talk about, but we could start…there. It interests me greatly.”

“What do you wanna know?”

“Just—” Dutch took a deep breath. “Just tell tell me about it.”

Arthur took a long drag off the cigarette, smoking it down to his fingertips. He blew the smoke tossed the nubbin to the grass. “Up north, we ran into some bad, bad characters.”

“Everything turned out okay, I expect?”

“It’s fine,” said Arthur. “But at the time, it wasn’t fine. It made things desperate. It took us by surprise and put things into perspective a little. We’ve always been friends, but I think we just realized, after that, that we was more. More than friends. Things changed.”

Dutch seemed pained at this, but desperately curious. “Hosea came to me today,” he said, rubbing the scruff at his chin. “He told me that you love her.”

“I do,” said Arthur. He shrugged. He smiled. “She gets me, Dutch.”

Dutch smiled, like he was wondering wistfully at what it was to be got. “Tell me about that.”

Arthur looked out at the river, surveying the fish, the huge and the brown fish splashing around in the water. “She lets me be…me. She listens to me. She makes me feel safe.”

“Safe?” said Dutch.

“Yes, sir.”

“You gonna marry her, son?”

“Yes,” said Arthur. “As soon as I can. I don’t wanna wait on it too long.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because it’s time,” said Arthur. “It's just time. I’m thirty-six years old, Dutch. I’m a man without any mystery left inside me. She's good with that, and I ain’t letting her get away.”

“That's...inspiring, Arthur,” said Dutch. "Really."

Arthur gave him a look, not entirely sure what to say next. “So, what?” said Arthur, squaring up with him. "That's all?"

“Excuse me?"

Arthur shoved his own hands in his own pockets. “I don't know. I just keep waiting for you to...call me into question. You keep doing that, Dutch. Like you don't trust my judgment. Like you ain't known me for...twenty-two years."

Dutch shook his head out, once, real quickly. He seemed lost. “I trust your judgment. I just wanted to hear it from you, about your relationship with Mary Beth. I'm happy for you, Arthur. Is that what you want to hear?"

Arthur sighed, he looked down at his boots. He felt bad, and then he looked back up at Dutch. “Maybe," he said.

“Well then, there you have it."

“I just—I assumed this talk here, the one we’re having, is a product of whatever Hosea said to you in St. Denis, and that really, it's about what comes next. That it’s about us leaving.”

“I—” Dutch trailed off. “That is a part of it, yes."

“Can I say something?” said Arthur. "Before you go on."

“Of course,” said Dutch.

“Just in my own defense. I feel like—I feel you’ve known me for a long time, and I need to just…explain something to you.”

“Arthur. Please. Talk.”

“Okay,” said Arthur. He took a deep breath, very serious. He took his hands out of his pockets and sort of held them out in front of him, a peace offering. “I love you, Dutch,” he said, looking him in the eye. “I do.”

“I love you, too, son.”

“And I mean it. This ain’t no ploy for your sympathies. I know how you feel about loyalty. I care about it, a lot, too. You and Hosea, you been like a couple of fathers to me, and I ain’t calculating to do anything without telling the two of you. I know I’ve screwed up my share of relationships with women. You’re probably looking me right now like I’m goddam crazy. Because I’ll admit, I’ve fucked up a lot, in the past. I’ve ruined so much. Eliza. Mary. I lost—I lost a great deal. But this ain’t about me repeating my old mistakes. That I promise you. It’s about me making a life I can be proud of, something of my own, and living it with a person who I care about, and who cares about me. Who don’t try to—to change me.” He looked down at his hands, such battered creatures, this old habit he could not shake. “I wanna be with her, so badly. It strangles me, Dutch. I ain’t felt this way in—hell I’m not sure I ever have. And I just—the way things look right now, with the gang and what we’re doing and the hell we’re getting ourselves into, everything we’re running from—I can’t protect her forever in this sorry state in which we’ve found ourselves. And if—when there’s a child. My child, in the mix of all this—I won't fuck that up. Not again.”

“Arthur—”

“I’m almost finished,” said Arthur. “I swear.”

Dutch nodded.

“I just want you to know,” he went on, “that this ain’t about you.” Arthur lit another cigarette, smoked somewhat frantically. He felt stripped, kind of cracked for some reason. He closed his eyes. “It’s about me and her,” he said. “That’s all. I will always be loyal to you, Dutch. But I can no longer put myself at risk for this life that we lead, when I don’t even know what I’m fighting for anymore. It’s too dangerous. It’s too uncertain.” He opened his eyes again, looking right at Dutch, the smoke crawling in the air between them. “The way I see it sometimes, the only way out of this for me is at the end of a rope, or on a chain gang somewhere, digging holes in the long, hot sun—a fate I probably deserve, to be honest. But I won’t do that to her, Dutch. I won’t. I can’t.”

Dutch watched him closely. He had his hands on his hips, had been nodding along, listening with intent. Or at least it seemed that way. Sometimes, when he was talking to Dutch, Arthur felt as if he were talking into an empty village. A place where loved ones used to live and thrive but have since migrated elsewhere. He was desperate not to feel this way. He harbored so much guilt, so much ugly weight inside. He wanted freedom, but he was terrified of losing Dutch for reasons he could not always comprehend, explain, or even deal with anymore.

"You do not deserve that fate," said Dutch. "You deserve happiness."

“I'm trying to get there," said Arthur.

“Everything you're saying to me," said Dutch, "I hear you, and I think it's beautiful. I am not here to stop you from pursuing a life and family of your own. How could I? After what happened to Eliza, and your son. I remember that like it was yesterday. I remember what it did to you, what it did to all of us. How I almost lost you that year. And I won’t ask you to give up your shot at a second chance with Mary Beth.”

Arthur just stared at him, almost confused. “Thank you,” he said, again.

“You’re welcome, son,” said Dutch. He looked out at the brown water. Way, way out in the distance, you could see a river boat, coming down the aisle, with a couple men fishing off the ledge. “But, Arthur,” he went on.

Arthur followed his gaze. He sighed. He knew there had to be something. He polished off the cigarette and tossed it into the river. “What, Dutch.”

“Can you just give me…a little more time.”

Arthur squinted at him, trying to suss out his agenda. “More time.”

“Yes,” said Dutch, releasing his shoulders back, holding out his hands in reason. “Just a little…more…time.”

“Time for what, Dutch?”

“Time to—to get us out of this…this mess that you so deftly pointed out. All of us. Time for me to do my part in giving you and yours a real chance at a better life.”

“In Tahiti?” said Arthur. “I don’t wanna go to Tahiti, Dutch. That life, that fantasy. It ain’t for me.”

“It doesn’t have to be Tahiti,” said Dutch. “That’s a—a pipe dream. It’s over there.”

“Over where?”

“You know what I’m saying,” said Dutch. “I just mean—help me, Arthur.”

“Help you?”

“Help me figure out what to do. We can…have your wedding. Reverend Swanson, assuming we can get him sober enough for the day, can do it right here, at Shady Belle. Or we’ll get a church. A river boat with a ship captain. Whatever you and Miss Gaskill would prefer. We’ll get her a dress, a ring. We’ll get all the women dresses, and we’ll see the two of you through this. Like a family. And in our execution of your day—this monumental moment for you, and for her, we get a little. More. Time.”

Arthur studied him. He didn’t feel turned around, though he was surprised. “You wanna throw us a wedding?”

“Of course I do,” said Dutch. “You’re my children. Both of you. I want to give you the goddam world, Arthur.”

“And during this…time you’re asking for,” said Arthur. “While Mary Beth is busy with Abigail and Tilly, picking out a dress and a church, a ring from the jewelry shop in St. Denis, what’re you gonna ask me to do? Odd jobs for Mr. Angelo Bronte? Rob a bank? Collect debts? Get shot?”

Dutch shook his head right away. “No, son. No. Like I said before, I hear everything you’re saying. I won’t ask you to do anything if it means risking your life.”

“You won’t.”

“No. That is what you want, isn't it?"

Arthur nodded, once.

"I just—help me," pleaded Dutch.

“Help you what?”

“Help me formulate a plan, Arthur. To get us out of here.”

“You want my help, formulating a plan to get us out of here?”

“Yes. Yours. And Hosea’s, of course. The three of us, we work together, not separately—with and not against one another—I think we can do it, Arthur. I really do.”

Arthur pressed his eyes shut. He shook his head. "Are you gonna actually listen to me, Dutch?" he said. "Are you gonna keep accusing me of things like betrayal and losing my faith? Because I hear it when you say those things to me, and they don't feel good."

"I'll listen," said Dutch, straightening up, appearing to be strong and focused. Maybe like the old Dutch, before Annabelle got taken away. "I will."

Staring at him hard, Arthur was picking through a fiery landscape trying to figure out whether this was a reliable pledge. "Can I believe you?"

“Yes,” said Dutch. "And I'll prove it. I just need a little more time."

“How much time,” said Arthur. “In this grand scheme of yours, how much time do you reckon you need.”

“One month,” said Dutch, hands on his hips again. “The way I see it, Arthur, we don’t have much longer than that anyway. The Pinkertons—somebody’s gonna find us eventually.”

“And I should take that gamble. For one month,” said Arthur.

“I am not telling you what to do,” said Dutch. “I am only. Asking.”

Arthur bit down, flexed his jaw real hard. “I need to talk to her,” he said. “I need to see what—how she’s feeling.”

“By all means,” said Dutch, back on his toes again, full of hope and that tell tale van der Linde idealism. “Take the night. Take tomorrow, too. Talk to Mary Beth. Let me know what it is you decide. When you decide.”

Arthur nodded. He looked over to the side of the house, by the medicine wagon. He saw Tilly playing fetch with Cain the dog. “Fine.”

“One more thing,” said Dutch.

Arthur sighed. “What’s that.”

“It ain’t specifically about you and Mary Beth—who, by the way, I think is a splendid woman—a beautiful woman at that, and I have no doubt she’ll bring you infinite happiness for the rest of your days—”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Get on with it. This is about Bronte, I presume?”

“It is, my good sir.” He turned to look back at the house, with Arthur. Together, they measured its dying grace. “Mr. Bronte has invited us, meaning me and my associates, to the gilded cage.”

“Which is?”

“A party. A fabulous social engagement to be attended by the likes of every important person in this greater southern region of the United States. It’s in St. Denis, at the Mayor’s house.”

“A party?” said Arthur, disbelieving. “He’s invited us to a party? At the Mayor’s house?”

“Yes, sir. I was thinking you, me, Hosea, maybe Bill—”

“Bill?”

“Well, we can’t bring Javier or Lenny or Charles, not to an event populated by the veritable scum of the earth. And we need a seasoned man on the job. Somebody who can keep his mouth shut and just look…big.”

Arthur waved him off. “If you say so.”

“Anyway, you didn’t let me finish.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Arthur. “Please, continue.”

“As I was saying,” said Dutch. “You, me, Hosea, Bill, and Miss Gaskill are going to the ball.”

Full surprised, Arthur balked. “Miss Gaskill?” he said.

“That’s right.”

“You wanna bring Mary Beth on a job?”

“I do.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Just hear me out, Arthur.”

“The answer is no.”

“Please.”

Arthur sighed, hands on his hips.

“There will be no guns at this job, Arthur,” said Dutch. “No guns. No violence. No danger whatsoever. It’s a party. It’s…reconnaissance.”

“Reconnaissance for what?” said Arthur.

“Reconnaissance for...what we might be able to get out of all this. If there's anything to be gotten, of course.”

“And how can Miss Gaskill aid us in our…reconnaissance?”

“We dress her up. We call her your wife—an oil heiress from Galveston, Texas. She injects enough charm into the situation to throw Bronte off by even a sliver, and she elevates us and our station in the meantime. With oil money at our back, Bronte will be far less likely to mess with our intentions, Arthur.”

“But we don’t got no oil money at our back.”

“Details, my boy,” said Dutch. “Details.”

Arthur dropped his chin to his chest, shook his head like he’d never heard something both so certifiably insane and yet oddly ingenious. “Why Mary Beth? Why not Abigail?”

“Because we need him to believe the story,” said Dutch. “Surely a true romantic I-talian like himself will appreciate the heat between you. It’ll add a whole new layer of truth to the plan. And we can’t bring John. Those fresh scars of his are likely to...scare the delicate nobles. Plus, Mary Beth has a quintessential American style. Big hair, big eyes, freckles. She looks like an oil heiress, and you know it.”

Arthur gave him a long and careful look, almost scathing. Dutch was holding up his hands, as if in surrender. “It ain’t a bad plan,” said Arthur. “But I don’t know.”

“No guns,” said Dutch. “I promise you. Talk to Hosea. He’ll back me up on this.”

“I will talk to Hosea,” said Arthur. “And this is another thing I need to talk to Mary Beth about, since I don’t know that she’ll go for it.”

“In which case, we’ll ask fair Abigail,” said Dutch. “A worthy understudy, by all means. The two of you have...a history anyway, don't you?”

Arthur gave him a look. "I ain't got no history with Abigail, sir. We've only ever been friends."

"Well, then, you'll fake it."

“When’s the party," said Arthur.

“The day after tomorrow, in the evening.”

“Fine,” said Arthur. He adjusted his hat, looked around. “Fine. We done here?”

“Yes, we are.”

“Good,” said Arthur. Somewhere up in the yard, you could hear a scuffle take place. Likely Bill, already punch drunk at six in the evening. Arthur looked right at Dutch then, very serious and very hard. “I’m choosing to trust you, Dutch,” he said. “I’ll talk to Mary Beth. You and me, we can reconvene tomorrow.”

Dutch leaned in close then, real close to Arthur’s face. He clapped one hand to each of Arthur’s shoulders, lowered his voice. “Thank you, son.” Then he pushed off, tipped his hat, and went up the porch steps and into the house.

Arthur took a very deep breath.

That night, Arthur and Mary Beth lie in Arthur’s bed, entangled and post-sex, with Mary Beth’s hair big and everywhere, and Arthur lighting another cigarette. He'd been smoking a lot that night—all through dinner, more than usual. He smoked, sure, thought Mary Beth, but he wasn’t really the chain-smoking variety by any means. She mostly saw him smoke under two circumstances—nerves and idle boredom. He was flexing his hand open and shut when she plucked the cigarette from between his lips and brought it to her own. She took a single drag and then handed it back to him.

“You’re smoking a lot,” she said.

He seemed surprised. "I am?"

“You gonna tell me what happened with Dutch?”

Arthur glanced down at the cigarette. He put it out on the window sill. Then he looked at her. She looked real pretty in the light from the moon, as it was coming through the window casting all in its lines of silver. He sighed. He kissed her. “A lot happened with Dutch,” he said.

“Tell me.”

Arthur put a little bit of hair behind her ear. He told her all about their conversation, starting with the beginning, skipping over the Bronte stuff for the time being. Mary Beth listened with intent. She held his hands as he talked. "He's happy?" she said at some point. She had had her misgivings, it was true. She didn't know what to expect.

“Well, he’s a difficult man to read,” said Arthur. “I don’t always trust him. But he did seem—I don’t know—halfway sincere in all this. I known the man a long time. I like to think I can see some stuff coming, or at least for what it is. He was happy for us, in his way. He didn’t try to poison me or challenge me. At least not in any overt fashion. But he did ask for more time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he wants us to wait a little bit before we cut and run.”

Mary Beth picked up Arthur’s hand. She traced the calluses and how they ran like little mountain ranges through his palm. “How much time?” she said.

“A month,” he said.

“That ain’t so bad,” said Mary Beth, shrugging. “What does he want you to do, in the meantime, I mean?”

“That’s just the thing,” said Arthur, tracing his big fingers past her arm. “He said he wanted me to stick with him, to try and help him formulate a plan to get us all out of here. He said he wouldn’t subject me to no violence. He said it didn’t have to be like that no more, said he understood why I needed to protect myself. I thought it sounded insane, but I had to believe him, in the moment.”

Mary Beth was looking at him. She palmed his jaw to make him look at her. “Do you believe him?” she said.

Arthur blinked, nodded. “I think so,” he said. “It still don’t mean nothing. I need to know how you feel. What you wanna do, Mary Beth.”

“You know me, Arthur,” she said. “I been doing this for five years. What’s another month?”

“Because a month, Mary Beth, turns into two months, turns into six, turns into a year.”

“That won’t happen,” she said.

Arthur thought on this, kissed the back of her hand, grazing his thumb past her delicate knuckles. She had a way with simple truths. She was right.

“Give him his month,” she went on. “Unless you sincerely don’t want to, Arthur. If that’s the case, and you ain't trusting in him, or the situation, then let’s go. Let’s leave in the morning. I’m with you. I wanna go, too. I don't wanna be a...van der Linde girl forever. I wanna be your girl. Wherever we end up. But I can be practical, too, Arthur, and I also know that it don’t have to be right this minute in order to come true.”

Staring at her, he got calm. Got peaceful. Wanted to rest. He nodded. “Okay,” he said. “We'll give him his month and try to stay...I don't know...positive I guess. But we’ll play it by ear, too. If things get…out of hand for any reason, we’re gone. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said, and she kissed him on the forehead. Then she kissed him on the mouth. They kissed more. It was moving back in that heated direction again like it always seemed to be. She was always wanting for him in those days, and so she reached into the sheets to find him half-hard—but he stopped her, smiling, took her by the wrist. “What’s the matter?” she said.

“There’s one more thing,” he said, looking at her.

“With what?” she said. She was trying not to get too dreamy.

“Dutch wants you to come on a job with us,” he said. “Day after tomorrow.”

“What?” she said, sort of coming to. She sat up real straight and pushed the hair off her face. She had forgotten all about what she'd just been doing. “What kind of job?”

“A party,” he said. He placed his big hand on her knee. “A fancy party, at the Mayor’s house in St. Denis. Dutch called it reconnaissance. He wants you to come along and pretend to be some oil man’s daughter, from Texas.”

Mary Beth covered her mouth and started laughing. “An oil man’s daughter from Texas?”

“That’s right. You’d be posing as my wife. He thinks having some sort of status, running with us, that might keep Bronte in check.”

“Why me?” she said.

“Because you’re with me,” he said. “Makes it more…believable. I don’t know. Plus, you’re you. You got the right look. It makes sense, I just—I don’t know, Mary Beth. What do you think?”

“Just a party?” she said. “With people everywhere?”

“Yes,” said Arthur. “Dutch said no guns. No fighting or anything like that. Just surveying. I'm gonna double-check with Hosea, but also, I know that Dutch is planning to bring Hosea with on the job. My feelings is, he wouldn't be doing that unless he knew it was guaranteed to be safe."

"Why's that?"

"Because Dutch don't like risking Hosea's life," said Arthur. "I seen it. Only lately, since Hosea's health has started to...decline. It's one of the reasons I keep finding myself believing him when he says he won't put me at no unnecessary risk either. Though I suppose that could also be my childish naiveté talking."

"You ain't childish," said Mary Beth. "What you're saying makes perfect sense."

Arthur shrugged. "Thanks, Mary Beth."

“Do you think I can pull it off?” she said.

"Pull what off?"

"Being an oil man's daughter? From Texas?"

Arthur renewed his grip on her knee. “I think you can pull off anything, Mary Beth. It’s just a matter of whether you’re comfortable with the situation or not.”

She sighed, thought about it, looking out the window. Outside, there were coyotes yelping and howling in the distance. You could hear rummaging, too, throughout the camp, while Pearson and Susan packed up their business from the day. “Do I get to wear a fancy dress?” said Mary Beth after a little while.

Arthur found this amusing. He nodded, smiling real low. “Yes, you do.”

“Then count me in,” she said. She grabbed his face with both hands, and she kissed him good. “I never been to a fancy party before.”

“Me neither,” said Arthur.

“Then at least it’ll be memorable,” she said.

“Hopefully not too memorable.”

She kissed his eyes. He was relaxed now. Soft and sleepy. She was, too. Like a big blanket of cotton pulled over them. Like they were floating out on a limb somewhere, in the clouds.

Arthur pushed the hair all off her shoulders then, kissed the top of her head as she nestled in beside him.

After a little while of leaning, Arthur realized he had been listening to himself breathing in a slow and even fashion. He thought about what he had said to Dutch that day, about feeling safe, and feeling got, and how Dutch didn't seem to recognize these concepts, and that made Arthur sad. He decided to just take a risk that night, though he knew it was a good risk with plentiful odds, it was still a risk, but one worth taking nonetheless. The beauty and softness of this moment was too good and too pure. He took a deep breath, and he closed his eyes.

“Marry me,” he said to her, almost like he was not even thinking.

"What?" she said.

“Mary Beth," he said. "Marry me.”

She sat up then. Right away. She was alert. He just let his eyes fall open, looking up at her, lazy like. “Really?” she said.

He took her hand, his head heavy against the pillow. He had no fears at all. “Yes,” he said. “I don’t see no point in denying my intentions, or wasting time. Unless you’d like to wait, or you’re not sure—”

She gathered up his hands, brought them to her lips, smiling, listening.

“I ain’t got no ring, not yet at least," Arthur continued. "I’m sorry about that. Maybe I should’ve…planned this out better.”

“Don’t need a ring,” she said, almost crying. She put both of her hands on top of his head, like she was covering him, and she kissed his hair. She whispered, "Yes."

He just smiled. He put his arms around her and it was like sinking—through the mattress, through the floor, into the earth. A familiar sensation he felt, being with Mary Beth. He loved her so much. It was like a story. She made the future seem possible and less like dying every day. The coyotes were still howling in the swamps, but he didn't care. He could already hear Javier, just swearing up a storm, heading out to shoot them quiet, or at least chase them off into the terrain. He and Mary Beth talked a little bit more before they fell asleep. She was shaken and excited but she did manage to tell him about how Charles had taught her how to make poison for dipping arrows.

Arthur laughed. "What'll do with your poison arrows?" said Arthur.

"Shoot all our enemies," she said, matter of fact. His eyes were closed, but he could hear the smiling in her voice. "What else?"

Arthur nodded. He could see it. He fell asleep after that, dreaming of river boats.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfic #mary beth gaskill #mary-beth gaskill #arthur x mary beth #arthur morgan x mary beth gaskill #dutch van der linde #a funeral

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hurr-rae · 6 years

Text

Teen Titans vs. Young Justice

This in no way hates on one or the other team, but it was my response to a video that pit these teams against each other. Which is the better show for you? Teen Titans or Young Justice?

I’d have to answer: Teen Titans

Here it goes... all under the cut.

1. CHARACTERS

Personally, since the show focused mostly on the main five, you got to know the characters better. Each character had an arc (except for Starfire, sadly) and that allowed the viewer to understand each member's struggle and personal demons. We had Robin in S1, Terra for S2, Cyborg S3, Raven S4, and Beast Boy S5. It also went on a lot longer meaning you got to know and love these characters based on interactions and reactions throughout the whole show.

My problem with YJ is that the characters aged up by 5 years for Season 2, and we didn't get to know the main group of season 1 well enough. I don't know if it's just me, but the addition of so MANY new characters in season 2 that popped out of nowhere is just overwhelming. And we have no idea how crazy their lives got in those 5 years. What did they experience? Tula DIED? How important was she anyways? Wally and Dick's friendship is a little hostile? Kaldur's with the dad? There is just too many blanks to fill and I didn't grow up with them throughout the seasons. I didn't get a chance to resonate with them before they grew up.

Unlike Teen Titans, because their group is always just 5 despite them adding more honorary titans to their ranks, by Season 5, when Beast Boy leads and shouts "Titans Together!" you know they grew up as characters and as a team. No time jumps, no surprise bombs, no nothing. Just great consistent character development.

2. THEME SONG

Let's be honest, their theme song is great! So what if it has lyrics? When anyone hears the song, they get hyped! It's electric guitar! And because it's so catchy, people get nostalgia from hearing it! It's a win-win, and the problem with a jingle is that it's not memorable (unless it's really just THAT great, which YJ's was not). Also, can we get some recognition for that terrific soundtrack during the amazingly choreographed fighting scene against the Brotherhood of Evil? And THEMES IN GENERAL! You cannot say that each episode of the series didn’t have some theme or moral lesson attached to it. Even the filler episodes had lessons, and that in particular is something YJ lacked for me.

3. PLOT

Yes, YJ had more drama, more romance, angst, betrayal and whatnot, but Teen Titans had that too! TT gets discredited when it comes to this. That's because it has pure funny fill-in episodes. But what some don't get is that these episodes do actually have a purpose. It provides a break when something dramatic or BIG happens. It also adds character development, so it's not completely for nothing. The fact that they do this actually makes the drama, the betrayals, romance and angst even more important. Because the presence of fun, light-hearted episodes make incredibly heavy scenes have MORE meaning and a BIGGER impact to the viewers. For example, "Crash" was a pretty fun episode, but then the ball just completely DROPPED when it came to the "Haunted" episode. Slade hadn't been mentioned for a while, and all that angst and drama just came out of nowhere, which made it all the more memorable.

Also to the argument that says you can just drop by whatever episode to watch of TT (not really following a story), I wholeheartedly disagree that it makes the show worse compared to YJ. Since you can drop by any episode to watch (which isn’t entirely true anyways), it makes Teen Titans easier to enjoy because you can have fun watching any episode whenever without having to worry about: What happened before? Why is this happening? It makes new watchers who decided to watch it on TV one day to get into it.

4. SECRET IDENTITIES

Also the secret identity thing: Glen Murakami (maker of the show) said they decided to do that so the younger audience wouldn't be confused about who's who. It's simple and straight to the point. Another plus about the whole secret identity thing not being mentioned is: it makes for some really good fics and storylines in the comics (based on the show). Another thing I'd like to mention is the completely SOLID friendship between the Titans. Watching the series, you really understand and feel the friendship between each of the characters. They lived together and you got to see the domestic-ness from that. I saw the friendship too in YJ but I never felt it full-force the same way I did watching the Titans. It didn't feel like a family, it just felt like a group. The Teen Titans made me feel like they really WERE family, the same way F.R.I.E.N.D.S. did. **And GOD! Their interactions are so PURE! You’re always reminded as a viewer that at the end of the day, they’re still teens who know how to have fun (refer to the gif above^^)

5. INDEPENDENCE

Lastly, the Titans' independence was just the cherry on the top. I know many appreciate YJ's "realness" when it comes to working with their mentors, but there's just something truly admirable about the Titans working on their own. They have a HUGE group completely made out of teenagers! They went to space on their own! They have Titans East, North and South (the originals being West)! That is an INCREDIBLE achievement. That's all THEM. They learned through their failures as a group, but because of those experiences, they were successful in making a worldwide superhero team. They didn't need the League or adults because they have each other. Compare that to YJ. Yes, we get parental!Batman and dick!Superman, but the YJ during season 1 gets treated like kids often despite already being their own group. And imagine that, the JL and Titans are two different groups. The Titans have always been all about independence, so if you want to learn more about yourself, without adults interfering, you go to the Titans. It's a great concept that should give the show plus points.

**Also a much more elaborate and well-explained article from CBR: https://www.cbr.com/15-ways-teen-titans-is-better-than-young-justice/

THAT'S IT! That's the end! This in no way was made to bash on YJ, they are just personal opinions, so please don't take it to be against you if you're a YJ fan. I admit that YJ has a more infamous line of villains, and the way they fooled the Light was great! It's just.. TT meant more to me. Feel free to share your experiences whether you're a YJ fan or TT fan. Both shows are great in their own ways, and both shows are getting another season! Good news all around!

#teen titans #robin #starfire #raven #cyborg #beast boy #tt #2003 #yj #young justice #no hate #no beef #two great shows #so share any experiences or feelings you may have for them

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nukaworld · 7 years

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How are doing your Nuka World with Tracie? Are you rewriting Todd's Canon?

Yes and no. Honestly this will get long so if you are willing to read please I’ll put this under the cut. Warning for a bit of Fallout 4 critical there, though not anything too much.

Nuka World and Far Harbor were the two “big” story driven DLCs but I think they were both sort of an experiment over us as the community to see what the people want. Nuka World had a huge map with so many new and colorful things, a lot of world building and lore to explore, and also added the option to be “evil” and had absolute endings - join the raiders or kill the raiders. However because of this it sacrificed plot and characters.

Far Harbor was a more plot oriented DLC where the world building wasn’t as vast though it was still pretty great and the focus was more on making three dimensional and likable characters (and ALL of them are, I love everyone in Far Harbor) as well as many endings because I think Far Harbor has 7 endings + 2 optional ones where you destroy Acadia with either the Institute or the Brotherhood of Steel. So that’s 9 endings compared to Nuka World’s 2. For this it sacrificed quests because it was a rather short DLC but it tired doing everything the main game was criticized for. And if you ask me Far Harbor succeeded and I think Far Harbor is amazing and yes I would change few things there too but overall I think its a great DLC and with 94% positive reviews on Steam I hope Bethesda follows this road for Fallout 5 some day.

Now back at where I come in. Nuka World’s black and white ending irritated me. So that’s the only thing I changed. I made it so that some of the raider’s don’t die, and instead they perhaps change their ways or leave. I don’t like that the Open Season quest is basically you going around a theme park massacring people. Yes some of the raiders are terrible people but other’s are just doing shit to survive - they were either born or raised as raiders and never knew anything else. Some might even try to reform. So my changes in my playthrough are that Tracie gives the Minutemen some cheesy Disney speech how they are no different from “us” and that they surrendered and the leaders are dead and most scattered and maybe not massacre the small people that were just following orders. And then she decides to turn the entire park into a settlement as well as a huge trading center for the East Coast - the raiders that wanted to follow her decided to work on some of the attractions she re-opened and change their ways. The others left were banished from the Commonwealth - but point being there was no need for bloodshed, not as much as the game.

As for overall I feel like Nuka World tried too hard to be edgy and pull some Suicide Squad kind of Hot Topic bullshit and listen I am a very edgy person myself but even I think it just tried too hard. Yes the raider groups were funny, but it’s unrealistic to have the Sole Survivor suddenly become Queen/King Fuckface of the Wasteland and lead an army of raiders into the Commonwealth since like few months ago (in their mind) they were a middle classed suburban family. It’s not realistic to the already flawed narrative Todd gave us to begin with.

Also I think Gage’s character was a bit poorly written in the sense of his motivation to stick with the Overboss, it feels really weak to me. You are forced to talk as if you want to take over Nuka World with the raiders and he just kind of blindly follows and honestly Gage isn’t as dumb as people portray him, he is pretty smart for a raider for what I’ve gathered. So him sticking with you while he betrayed Colter, while it has some explanation is incredibly weak. Also I know I will get a lot of fire for this so I’m really sorry in advance but I don’t think Gage romance was necessary. He doesn’t strike me as the type and it felt really half baked and “edgy” and lmao I don’t like badmouthing anyone for their interests but the worst thing’s in Gage fandom came directly from the romance and there are few mutuals of mine here who have nice Gage romances and head canons and I like them, but just open AO3 and bask in the mischaracterization and weird Joker/Harley Quinn-esque shit. So I can just say they did Gage dirty too, a lot.

And worst of all unless you are a ride or die Preston fan like me, you will miss the fact that Preston is Gage’s contrast as in Preston is supposed to be your companion through the park if you decide to wipe the Raiders. He has so far as I’ve discovered four new lines of dialogue specifically for Nuka World! I have that post here if you wanna read. And that is not made clear at all? In the game? At all? So much that not even the wiki people know he has four new lines of dialogue? No one took the love of my life Preston to Nuka World? I digress, but you get my point. The plot was just not the focus so it butchered these characters. Also the Raider bosses have a lot of personality but unless you play a raider, you really don’t get to see it. Probably if you play as a raider you get to see it and realize it’s not that good. So I feel bad for the nice concepts of characters stuck in this DLC.

Now as for Tracie, first i’m gonna tag @star-lord since they asked me about this yesterday (I hope this is okay!), but back to Tracie, she is a good person, and neither me nor her would ever agree to help raider’s enslave and murder people for whatever reason, I had to work around on my playthrough to justify it with a story. I cleared the park with Gage as a companion cause I paid like 20$ for this shit and I needed to get my content. And I somehow maxed out my affinity with him through I guess really lucky strategic lockpicking. Then I got the Open Season from the lady at the Market and well....you know how it goes from this point on :/ So story wise Tracie would absolutely argue with Preston on this matter because she thinks she can “help” the raiders at Nuka World become better people. And she genuinely thinks she can make a change without bloodshed and Preston is a good and hopeful soul, but I’m afraid he knew better than her on this one.

Still he was fine with trying because he doesn’t want to kill unless he has to but still they are raiders. So she goes at Nuka World and she accepts being Overboss and tries befriending Gage in her own kind of silly ways. I am pretty sure Gage despite being a raider is smarter than her, she is just kind of not that smart and also very naive but her heart is in the right place. And she will clear out the park with Gage and I am pretty sure she will grow on him like a little kid or a little sister cause she is much younger. And then she presents him with her plan which he knows its not gonna work and not only that he won’t let it work. And I am working on the details on my plot here but she eventually does come with the Minutemen to Nuka World to stop the raiders, Gage does turn to her and yeah she does have to fight him :/ I love the angst though, she considered him to be her friend and she thought he was changed, that he became good. And I think this taught her a very, very valuable lesson that not everyone can be changed by “the power of friendship” and she needs to be more careful who she trusts. Because I make Disney features exclusively Gage doesn’t die but he fucks off somewhere far away and he still remains an antagonist from start to finish. And Tracie as I said above frees the merchants, instead of killing the raiders offers them to work in the park or leave the Commonwealth with their heads and turns Nuka World into a huge settlement/trading center/city. Oh and they are cool with Preston in the end, they still love each other. So yay! Happy ending!

I just felt like writing a friend to enemy arc for once and I felt that Gage is not the character to get a redemption arc. He shows no remorse for his raider life and in fact he willingly joined it. He is living by those ideals and has been for all of his life so stripping him of that with some half baked redemption arc will ruin his character in my opinion. This doesn’t mean he cannot love or like the Sole Survivor, I’m just saying unlike me making the ex-antagonists from FNV and FO4 (Benny, Ulysses, X6) into friends or at least weird uncles to the protagonists in all my stories, I wanted to not do that for once and I think it fits Gage.

So that’s all I will probably infodump the details of this story someday like all Disney and stuff, but I am testing the grounds because I really don’t want someone coming at me for I don’t know “demonizing” or “vilifying” Gage or whatever.

#Anonymous

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