#you guys can suffer through some ramblings

[phoenixkaptain]

Okay. I’ll write an actual analysis.

A Lonely Place of Dying does a few things, storytelling-wise, that are actually incredibly impressive. Like, I figured it out and I was so excited.

First, we don’t see Tim. Not in part 1. All we see is glimpses. His hands as he puts away his camera. His feet as he runs away from Starfire’s apartment. We only see small parts of him, leaving him shrouded in mystery, which leads into part 2, where he’s represented by a shadowy figure on the cover.

The Titans, but especially Starfire, are all worried about the small child looking for Nightwing. This kid knows Nightwing’s name, knows where he lives, nd has a very conspicuous camera. I’d be worried too! So of course, from the Titans perspective, he’s an intimidating opponent that they don’t understand. (Especially since I’m like ninety percent sure Tim isn’t actually the one they’re looking for. Like, I think it was just a happy coincidence that the most suspicious child on the face of the planet happened to show up at the same time as the actual problem.)

We don’t see Tim’s face until just under halfway through part 2. And the first thing they show us are his eyes. He’s searching for Dick, even among all the pandemonium, and it’s only upon him finding Dick that we see his whole face.

Tim’s eyes are important. They’re an important part of his character in this storyline. Because Tim sees things. He sees through Bruce, he sees through Dick, he sees through Alfred even. He’s always looking.

And this is compounded when he explains how he knows what he knows in part 3.

We see child Tim Drake at the circus. Tim says this to Dick “…I kept staring at you…” and this “I remember waiting for you to go on. And then, when you did, I just sat there and watched.”

On the next page, he says, about Dick’s parents’ deaths, “I turned away… I couldn’t watch. Then I heard you crying and I turned back and I saw you holding onto them, and I began crying, too.”

Page 11 has his monologue about seeing Batman for the first time, and how he thought Batman would hurt Dick, but what’s important isn’t the dialogue, it’s the panels. They focus on the realization of Batman being safe, entirely through Tim’s eyes. He’s panicked and scared, then slowly relaxes. We see it all, because Tim sees it all.

And it’s THIS. Tim started the story by finding Batman, but he starts his story by beginning to look for Dick. Us seeing Tim seeing Dick is a direct parallel to us seeing Tim seeing Batman with Dick. Tim’s story starts by him staring at Dick, unable to look away. And when we see him for the first time, he’s looking at him again, still unable to look away.

Throughout the story, Tim is constantly looking at Dick. Yes, this is mostly because he’s talking to Dick, but even at the end of part 2, when Dick is being congratulated by Haly’s Circus members and isn’t paying attention to Tim at all, Tim is still watching him.

Why is there so much emphasis on his eyes? I’m so glad you asked- IT’S VISUAL STORYTELLING BABEYYYY.

Tim’s most important role in A Lonely Place of Dying is as a third party. He cares about Bruce and Dick, and he knows them a lot better than they might think, but he’s still a third party to them. They don’t know him. He’s someone who’s been looking in on their lives for ten years.

He’s. A. Voyeur.

The emphasis being placed on his eyes cements this. Dick, Alfred, and Bruce are all put off by him at first. He knows too much, he doesn’t offer much information on himself until he’s forced to, it’s almost uncomfortable how much of a stalker this thirteen-year-old manages to be. He’s a voyeur, watching their lives, unnoticed by any of them, and that’s a bit unnerving! I don’t blame Dick for being unsettled by him, he’s weird!

And, his eyes as a child watching Dick to his eyes as a preteen finding Dick. They’re connected. A perfectly linear story, just told backwards. It’s really very satisfying.

Now, point two. The question we all have. Is Tim a stalker?

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: yes, but I’ll explain.

Tim begins the story by taking pictures of Batman fighting Ravager. The narration mentions someone calling in a tip to Gordon about Ravager’s location, which is what led Batman to this point, and I’m on the fence over whether or not Tim was the one who called in. On one hand, it would make a lot of sense. Ravager is part of a bigger ploy by Two-Face, and we find out in part 2 that Tim knows Two-Face is behind the trouble. It would also explain how Tim found a spot to set up his camera for a good portion of the fight. And, it isn’t like Tim wouldn’t know Gordon’s phone number. On the other hand, it’s never explicitly stated who called Gordon, so assume what you will.

Part 1 actually shows us a glimpse of Tim’s collection of photographs. It’s huge. Most of them are obviously newspaper clippings, but a few are just pictures (I assume on photo paper because the edges are cleaner than the newspaper photos). Tim says, in part 3 “You know, since I was able to read, I clipped every article on Batman and Robin.” We admittedly don’t know when Tim learned to read, but he’s thirteen and says he gets mostly A’s, so I’m assuming he probably learned in preschool or kindergarten, around the age of 3-5. That’s a lot of newpaper clippings. We only see his more recent and his most stalkery ones, so who knows how many more he has?

There are only a few points in the story where we see that Tim is genuinely emotional about anything. For the most part, he is calm. He smiles a lot. He doesn’t use a lot of exclamation marks. The only times he does use exclamation marks are when he’s monologuing (internally or externally) about how great Dick is or when he’s trying to make a point. The only time we see him get visibly distressed is when Dick ignores him about Batman needing a Robin.

I don’t know how to stress upon you that Tim only cries that one time. Tim almost dies three times in this comic. He went to his second circus and another person died. His idols both berate him and talk down to him (although Dick stops right after they meet with Bruce. I’m going to be honest, I think Dick wants Bruce to take Tim on as Robin because if Dick had to deal with Tim for a whole day, so does Bruce). He has to recount watching Dick’s parents die and the nightmares he got from it.

He went through so much. But, the only time he’s upset is when Dick won’t listen to him about what’s best for Batman.

Anyway, Tim flat out just says a lot of really stalker-y shit, so I’ll just list some more:

We already know about him clipping newspapers since he could read

When he’s asking Kory where Nightwing is, he lets slip to her that he was watching Titans Tower with this line “I know he wasn’t at your meeting today.”

There’s also a few lines from breaking and entering Dick’s apartment “Grayson kept his old apartment. If he left the Titans, he might be here.” “He’s a detective… he must keep notes. Even something scribbled on a shopping list.” “No! The Haly Circus is closing? It can’t be! It can’t! But at least I now know where he is!” (Why is the shopping list thing stalkery Kacie, I’m so glad you asked. Tim knows Dick well enough that he knows Dick writes things down. Bruce certainly doesn’t, and Bruce is also a detective, so it’s a logical leap unless Tim knows Dick is inclined to write things down.)

There’s one part that isn’t stalkery so much as really funny to me. While Tim is looking for Dick at the circus, he realizes that Dick is “a master of disguise” and that “I’ve been looking for Dick Grayson, but he could be anyone.” only to almost immediately after say “No, not the roustabouts. They’re too tall.” First, that means he can’t “be anyone.” Second, he knows Dick’s height just. So well.

Tim realizes who Dick is and I think I’ll just tell you what he said to explain how he figured it out “Th-that jump- - -that’s him! It’s got to be Dick!” What was so special about Dick’s jump? I don’t think there was anything special, I think Tim is just weird.

Dick asks Tim who he is no less than three separate times. Tim refuses to tell him, all three times. At the beginning of part 3, while Dick is introducing Tim to Alfred, Dick says “Alfred, this may be a bit awkward, but I’d like you to meet- - - -what did you say your name was again?” Implying that Tim did tell Dick, but only briefly.

Back in part 2, Tim says this to Dick “Look, I know you’re Nightwing. You used to be Robin. Then Jason Todd became Robin, and when he died, Bruce Wayne went to pieces.” Tim says this before telling Dick his name by the way.

Tim, upon being introduced to Alfred (a cont. of the earlier Dick line) “Tim. Mr. Pennyworth- - gosh I was really hoping we’d meet. I know you’re Batman’s confidant, and I’ve dreamed about the stories you could tell.”

Alfred’s response to this is “I am- - what did you say?” Which is very funny.

Some more stalker lines that come from Tim looking around the manor: “I’ve seen pictures of this place,” “There’s the renoir Mr. Wayne bought last year. I read about that in Art World Today.”, “He’s got an erte? Oh, I love his stuff.”, “Please, can I see the rest of the house?”

There’s this, which a part of was mentioned earlier “I don’t remember the clowns or the animals, or anything else. I just remember waiting for you to go on. And then, when you did, I just sat there and watched.”

Tim says, before explaining anything, “Okay, you won’t take me seriously until I tell you everything. Dick, I don’t want this to hurt you. And I’m really afraid it might.” He then says, “I’m sorry, Dick. I really am. I told you I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you all this.” Tim is right, Dick is hurt. Tim is a stalker, but he’s a conscientious stalker.

There’s this “That image of you doing your somersault- - - -it stayed with me for years. I couldn’t get it out of my mind.” “I knew that somersault. I knew it like I knew my own name.”

This is just the beginning of a sentence, but it still is very stalkery “When you moved to New York to become Nightwing…”

Or how about “…Batman and Robin have meant everything to me. I’ve followed them both… I know them so well. I knew when Dick left to become Nightwing. I knew when Jason came and became Robin… and I knew when Jason died.”

Tim mentions offhandedly that he managed at some point to slip a tracking device on Two-Face. An impressive feat, considering Two-Face was trying to hit him with a crowbar and Tim only came into contact with him twice, either to punch him in the face or push him away from attacking Alfred. I doubt he slipped it on him while punching him, but his ability to stay calm under pressure even while acting panicky, managing to smoothly slide a tracking device onto Two-Face that Two-Face never realizes is there, is very impressive. Or, it’s practiced-

Bruce says “I don’t want a partner. It’s as simple as that.”

Tim responds “After all you’ve been through, I understand.”

So you may be wondering, with all of this overwhelming evidence and the fact that he knows where both Kory and Dick live and the fact that he already knew Alfred Pennyworth was Batman’s confidant and all of the weird, supervillain-esque shit he says, why does anyone like him?

And I’ll tell you why. It’s because he’s so fucking awkward.

Tim says things like “oh thank goodness” or “gosh” or “it’s still been wonderful.” Tim stutters talking to Batman. Tim fanboys over Dick and Bruce constantly. He isn’t even upset to have gotten a mystery wrong, he’s just happy he got to see Dick solve a case.

But also, Tim is right. Batman is acting recklessly, and it’s directly as a result of Jason dying. Tim says he needs Robin, not Nightwing, but I think what he means is more the role that they fill. Robin is little and Bruce can tuck him under his wing and keep him safe. Nightwing is an adult who argues with him and is a good leader in his own right, leading to more arguments. Robin is someone Batman has to take notice of, has to account for when making plans. Nightwing can keep up, and he isn’t as worried about Nightwing because he trusts Nightwing’s ability to stay alive. They fill very different roles, and that’s what Tim means, even if he has trouble saying it.

And he’s completely right. Batman without Robin runs recklessly into a building without scoping it out, tries to save two boys tied with active grenades by himself, walks into a room full of mobsters with guns without having any protection himself. Tim implies that he’s worried Bruce might die, and he’s right to be worried.

But even with Nightwing there, Batman only worries when things go wrong. He doesn’t see Dick as his scrappy little sidekick anymore, he sees him as an adult. And it’s only when Dick’s in trouble that Bruce reverts to treating him like a child.

Robin makes Batman stop and think before they go in. Robin makes Batman patient. Because Bruce cares about Dick and Jason, and he comes to care about Tim too.

Tim wins him over by being clever, but later comics show that they have to build trust in each other. Tim trusts Bruce completely, right off the bat, and that’s overwhelming for Bruce. But Bruce stops being overwhelmed and starts feeling fond.

Because despite everything I said, Tim is a good person. He’s so worried about Bruce that he’s willing to search everywhere to find Dick to try and help him. He’s so worried about Bruce that he spends his vacation week slumming around on his bicycle trying to save Bruce’s life. He dives down a coal chute without a second thought, and he pushes with all his might to unbury Batman and Nightwing. He cares about them, and it’s painfully obvious that he does.

Tim doesn’t want to be Robin. Like, okay, he would love to be Robin, but that’s not why he’s here. He doesn’t want to tell Dick his first name, and it’s only after seeing that Dick isn’t taking him seriously that he spills the beans. He didn’t want to tell Dick, because that would hurt Dick. He says “B-Batman, it’s hard for me to say this to you” because he’s about to tell Bruce off for being reckless and he doesn’t want to. Tim wants to know that Bruce and Dick are safe, and that’s the only thing he wants.

Yes, Tim is definitely a stalker. He literally said himself that he followed them, and even if it was only through newspapers, it still counts as following. Now, maybe he doesn’t fit this dictionary definition of a stalker: “a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention,” but I think he does fit this dictionary definition: “a person who hunts prey stealthily.” Tim is stealthy and quick.

I read an article that said his weakness was unexpected situations, but I would argue that that’s bullshit. Tim is great in unexpected situations. Did he expect Two-Face to start trying to beat him with a crowbar? No, but he managed to avoid being hit and plant a tracker on him. Did he expect Two-Face to crush the Batmobile he’s sitting in with a wrecking ball? No, but he managed to jump out and hide and tried to warn Batman and Nightwing to watch out. Did he expect Bruce to agree to let him train to be Robin? No, but he’s going to do the best he can now that he has the chance.

From the very beginning, we can see that Tim is someone with an answer to just about everything. He knows things, he notices things, and he’s good at reacting. Later comics don’t dispute this, that I know of. Tim is the Robin with multiple contingencies for his contingencies, but he’s also the Robin who is most likely to say “oh shit I did not see that coming.” He’s a surprised sometimes, yes, but that doesn’t mean he’s unprepared.

All in all, Tim Drake is a fascinating character study of a rich kid who talks like an elderly woman providing therapy for a man who is at least two, if not three, decades his senior. Tim doesn’t quite understand at any point that monitoring isn’t the same thing as showing affection, which is why he and Bruce get along swimmingly and why Tim is often slated to be the Robin most alike to Batman.

Congratulations, Tim.

Also, I really truly believe that Tim had his first crush on Dick, which is why he couldn’t stop staring at him. And I didn’t mention he said this, because it wasn’t important to the points I was making, but it’s important to this one. Tim says “…I kept staring at you, and your circus costume.” The circus costume being similar to Robin’s is never brought up, only the fact fact that Tim couldn’t stop staring at it. I’m telling you, his first crush was here, it’s so obvious, just look at my corkboar-

[jaysgirlx]

Airport Au!Jason gets coffee spilled on him right before he boards his flight back to Gotham and of course, he's the victim of hot coffee spilling all over his crotch. The good news is, Jason didn't suffer any burns and you were quite apologetic to him, nevertheless, he was still pissed at you and those clumsy hands of yours. To make matters worse, the two of you are seated next to each other on a 15-hour flight.

Airport Au!Jason lets you have the inside seat even though you ruined his favorite Wonder Woman t-shirt and kinda fucked up his black jeans. He even puts your suitcase away for you and he has no fucking clue why. Jason knew he didn't help strangers like this, not just be nice and flirty to girls like Dick did. But didn't do things like this for no reason especially not for pretty girls who- wait did he just call you pretty? Oh, he was so fucked.

Airport Au!Jason can't tell if he's mad at you or if he wants you. To him those feelings could be the same, he has no problem with wanting to make out with the girl who spilled coffee on his shirt. He didn't see a problem with wanting to make you his, it was an accident and you apologized a million times so maybe he should just forgive you, especially since you actually tried to clean his crotch. His self-control stopped him from letting you, but now he wishes he had let you.

Airport Au!Jason gets immediately bored after the plane takes off, he hadn't pack much because he likes to travel light. When his gaze falls in your direction, he notices that you are reading and annotating one of his favorite Sylvia Plath books and quickly starts to chat you up. You immediately light up when you find out he loves reading, especially classics and poetry. The two of you quickly got acquainted and introduced yourselves which was quickly followed by an apology. You didn't think boys who were smart and hot truly existed, you thought those were myths but Jason Todd was indeed very real.

Airport Au!Jason lets you nap on his shoulder and even orders your lunch for you so that you'd at least get some food when you woke up. You wake up to the boy thumbing through your annotations. You point out your favorite scenes and quotes and go into detail about what you thought their meanings were, well at least to you. You rambled for what might've been a good hour and fuck, Jason knew just by hearing you talk like this, he wanted to put his lips on yours so bad. Maybe shut you up for a second, not because you rambled but because your lips looked so delicious like he could devour them if he wanted. Maybe it could last more than a second, but that depended on what you'd let him do to you.

Airport Au!Jason can't help but want your attention sooo bad. He's chatting you up, making you laugh and for fucks sake why was your laugh so cute?? Why were so pretty to him? Why did you make him question every part of his being? It was like you were this missing piece he had finally found and he needed that piece. He needed you.

Airport Au!Jason jokingly warns you he's not good for you but that only makes you tilt your head with a big grin. You told him that you didn't want a "good" guy. You wanted someone morally grey, someone who understands that just because you've done bad things doesn't mean you're a bad person. You of course cleared up that you didn't support racists, homophobes, and such but you weren't past dating a criminal or even a vigilante if they matched your vibe. For a moment, Jason felt like you already accepted who he was, that you would still want to know him as the Red Hood. He hoped that maybe that was the truth.

Airport Au!Jason sneaks you into first class, pulling the "Bruce Wayne is my dad" card with the flight attendants, who swoon when Jason brings out the stolen Amex card. He'd give it back to Bruce another day or maybe just sneak it back into his wallet. The reason he gets you in so you can sleep comfortably because he knew there would be free seats (he's done this a bit too many times). You told him you didn't need to, that you liked napping on his shoulder, that he was enough but he said you deserved the luxury treat, not crappy shoulder. And it made you laugh because it was so cheesy, and Jason wished then and there, that he could hear you laugh like that for the rest of his life. Now, did he hate having to pull the "Bruce Wayne" card? Yes. Did he regret it? Hell no. Would he do it again? Yes…

Airport Au!Jason lets you play with his hair and even touch his neck scar while you lay in first class. You graze your finger across it and you feel him tense until he relaxes when your fingers lace with his. He lets you believe the white parts are dyed and tells you the scar was from a kidnapping incident that happened in his teens. You don't question him on it but instead, ask him if he still wants to know once the two of you land in Gotham. He looks at you with a cheesy grin. He says he doesn't have his phone on him but you could write your number on his arm. You knew he was joking but he was just so attractive. He enjoys the feeling of one of your hands combing his locks and the other intertwined with his.

Airport Au!Jason falls asleep with you in first class and when you two finally wake up, you decide to check how much time is left on the flight: 2 hours. A soft whine left your lips, from the thought of having to wait a a little longer to be able to kiss him. You could just tell Jason wasn't a fan of pda and if you did kiss him you'd definitely want it to be private. You told yourself to be patient and you knew you could be just a little longer, just for him. Jason on the other hand was an impatient asshole who ached for you, especially after hearing that goddamn whine. Were you trying to tease him? Because if you were it was definitely working. Jason couldn't wait 2 hours.

Airport Au!Jason brings you into the first bathroom and locks it behind him, even after receiving about of weird looks. He kisses you in with your legs almost instantly hooked around his waist and his arms holding you up against the wall. Your arms are wrapped around his neck bringing him as close as possible, while you clawed at his clothes. You weren't exactly sure where this was going but you wanted that coffee-stained shirt off him. You hooked your fingers on the ends of his shirt whining desperately to feel him. Maybe those clumsy hands of yours were good at something. And when he finally breaks the kiss, he only mutters out these words just for you, "Wanna help me get out the shirt you ruined, sweetheart?"

[skzdarlings]

sharing a bed ; seungmin ; sequel

masterlist.

original one-shot.

pairing: kim seungmin/reader content info: sexual content. enemies2lovers. sequel to sharing a bed one-shot linked above. morning afters. running from feelings. making reader jealous. confrontation with a creep and light violence. sexual content includes blow-jobs, hand jobs, strap-on blowjobs, 69ing, rimming, pegging, light choking. some brat seungmin and sort of brat tamer reader (kinda just likes the brat lol). word count: 7k.

-

Kim Seungmin, the perpetual thorn in your side and ache in your head, is torturing you. 

Not the fun kind of torture, either.   You had your fill of that two nights ago when a silly scheme resulted in a horny happenstance and you let yourself get carried away.  Your careful control not only slipped, but fell right into the hands of someone you once disliked. 

It left you befuddled in the light of the day, when you woke to Seungmin curled around you, his cheek pressing into your bicep and his leg hooked around yours.  Not to mention his morning wood digging into your hip.  It surfaced memories of the pretty and unexpected piercing you found there, how your idea of this guy was so so wrong.  And it made you wonder what else you were wrong about, and all the ways this burgeoning something could go wrong in turn.   Your thoughts spiralled. 

You were no longer handcuffed, so you slipped out of bed and walked right out the front door.  You hoped a walk through the brisk winter morning would help clear your mind.  It did, but only momentarily.  When you got back to the vacation house and ran into Seungmin, you fumbled.  Badly.  You meant to be pragmatic but came across dismissive.  Something about how last night was the only night.  Something about how you were bad at commitments.  Something about being better off friends. 

Seungmin was silent the whole time, letting you ramble like an idiot.  Then his eyes narrowed and he laughed.  It was an airy, unpleasant, and derisive sound.    

“Trust me,” he said.  “We will never be friends.” 

“Well, fine,” you said, bristling despite the fact you were the one rejecting him.  What did you care if he hated you again?  You didn’t.  You shouldn’t.  “Good.”

It was not good.  Saying it left a sour taste in your mouth and a pit in your stomach. 

And despite it all, your stupid horny hindbrain did not relent, purring like a kitten when Seungmin gave you a judgemental once-over and scoffed.   You could not help but remember the very different noises he made last night, again and again, in your hands and mouth, from your actions and words. 

You will never look at him the same way again.  You have no idea how to move forward, but you know you can never go back.  Pretending nothing happened will not work for once.   

It freaks you out.  You are usually good at shucking attachments.  His cold acceptance should not have hurt.  What did you care?  This vacation would end and you would go back to your own lives, right?   So you let Seungmin shove past you.  He ignored you for the rest of the day.  When he started an argument later, causing everyone else to groan, you replied like always, but it was half-hearted at best.   

Oh god, you think now, rubbing the bridge of your nose, I can’t start thinking with my damn heart. 

Emotional attachments and long-term romantic liaisons never turn out well.  You cut a dashing figure but your many flaws eventually find their way to the surface.  It is not worth the inevitable heartbreak when someone sees under the charming mask to the real you.   

Rather than suffer later, you are suffering now, brooding over a beer while doing your damnest to not look across the bar.  You know you will not like what you see. 

You and your friends only have a couple more nights at the vacation lodge, so you all went down to the nearby resort to drink and dance and enjoy a fun night out. 

You are not having any fun, of course.  You are sitting on a bar stool, all alone at the counter, in your signature leather jacket as you hunch over your drink and glare at nothing in particular. 

Seungmin, on the other hand, is suddenly a dazzling socializer rather than an obnoxious stuck-up jerk like he used to be.  You expected him to sit in a corner, making snarky remarks all night, but instead he has been moving from person to person, flirting with anything that breathes. 

He is also wearing an obscene pair of jeans.  No one else in the friend group seemed to notice, not a single eye so much as twitching in his direction, but you noticed.  Oh, yeah, you fucking noticed.  The second he came bounding the stairs, swinging on a stupid baggy letterman jacket like the twerpy little prep he is.  His dark hair neatly combed, bangs swept off his forehead, brightening his gaze. 

The jeans.  The stupid fucking jeans.  Straight-cut denim that has absolutely no business cupping his ass the way it does.  And why does he have such a nice ass anyway?  It also has no business looking that way. 

Kim Seungmin.  What a nightmare. 

You take a swig of beer and glare at the wall.  You tell yourself not to look at him.  He is probably leaning over some equally prissy knob and offering to buy them a glass of milk or whatever people like them drink. 

So, no.  You will not give him the satisfaction.  It is no coincidence that in all the time you have known him, Seungmin has never  been flirtatious or promiscuous, but the second you turn him down he is slobbering all over anything that moves. 

You will not let him get to you.  You will not look at him.  You will not react. 

Except he is already getting to you.  So you look over.  You react. 

“For fuck’s sake,” you grumble, abandoning your beer and stomping down from your stool. 

Seungmin is huddled in a booth with some colossal bitch of a man.  You recognize him from the other night, remembering how much time he spent harassing the bar staff.  Seungmin doesn’t know that.  He might be your enemy – or whatever – but you are not gonna leave the guy with that kind of jerk.  And you are not secretly thrilled that you are justified in storming over there, drawing up to the table with all the aggression that has been building inside you. 

You slap a hand on the table, bringing their attention to you.  Seungmin gives you a once-over, then smiles that stupid smile of his, all boxy and puppyish, like you are the funniest punchline to the funniest joke in the world.  There was a time you used to fantasize about swiping that smile off his mouth.  You are still thinking about occupying his mouth, just not like that. 

“Move along,” you say to the creep. 

“Excuse me?” 

He is already drunk.  You can smell it as much as see it.  Seungmin is looking very smug and you start to feel like he picked this guy on purpose. 

Seungmin drives you crazy, he really does.  One second he is all good boy, the next he is purposefully throwing himself at a creep just to get a rise out of you.  You feel like he would take a running leap off the mountainside if he was inclined to a prove a point to someone.  He is fearless and ridiculous and you want to hate him.  You want him to be the boring two-dimensional snob you thought he was.  You have no idea what to do with the complicated man in front of you. 

That’s a lie, you think, meeting his gaze.  You know exactly what to do with him.

You swear his eyes are twinkling.  He slouches back comfortably, arms crossed. 

“I told you once,” you say, tearing your gaze from him to look at the creep.  “Now move along.” 

“Try me.” 

The guy was only bothering women and seems uninterested in Seungmin so you suspect he just wants to piss you off, but then he puts a hand on him anyway, grabbing Seungmin by the arm so suddenly that it surprises him. 

Before Seungmin can shake him off, you snatch the guy by his wrist and twist.  He yelps, struggling to wrestle his arm back from your iron grip.  You slam him against the back of the booth. 

“Touch him again,” you say, “and I will break your hand.  You wanna try me?”

He opens his mouth, no doubt to spew some smelly rejoinder, but you don’t stick around for it.  You grab Seungmin by the elbow and yank him out of the booth.  You drag him away. 

“Excuse me,” Seungmin says, not politely, ripping his arm back.  “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I think I’m saving your dumb ass from getting felt up by every creep on this mountain.” 

“Meh-meh-meh,” he mocks, dodging when you reach for him again.  “I’m having fun.  I don’t need you to do anything.  It’s not like you’d really care if something happened to me.  Bad,” he smirks, “or good.” 

He knows he has you cornered.  You might have the physicality over him, but he is holding this entire scene in his hands.  You can only rub your jaw and shake your head, trying and failing to remember how to act indifferent. 

He has the tiniest drop of cream on his upper lip, leftover from the sugary abomination someone bought him.    

You say nothing in reply to his deliberate antagonizing.  You plant one hand on your hip and reach for him with the other.   When he tries to dodge, you grab him by the shoulder, firmly putting him in place.  He does not move the second time, standing still while you wipe a thumb across the sugary residual. 

Then you push at his bottom lip, press down, flicking your thumb so it bounces back.  His stare is unwavering.  He is not the blushing type, but he noticeably swallows. 

“Come on,” you say, zipping up your jacket.  “We’re leaving.  Now.” 

“What if I don’t want to?” he asks. 

You grab the back of his neck and drag him right up against you. 

“I didn’t ask,” you say.   

“Friends don’t get to make demands, dumbass,” he says, sneering the word friends.  He does not wriggle away, but he does not fully surrender either.  He meets your stare head-on, unmoving and unintimidated. 

He is going to make you say it.  He is not going to let you act sexy and charm your way out of it.  He is going to stand in this bar with your hand uselessly holding his neck until you do.   

“Fine,” you say.  You exhale.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I said all that dumb shit.  I’m a moron.”

“Yes,” he says.  “You are.” 

“I didn’t think it would matter that much anyway.”

“Because you aren’t the romantic type,” he says dryly. 

“Because I didn’t think you’d care,” you admit.  “You don’t like me and we don’t get along anyway.  I just—”  You finally drop your hand, waving at nothing and looking away.  You can feel him glaring at you.  “Look, I suck, I get it.  Believe me, I know all the ways I suck.  I figured I’d spare us the mess when you figured that out so I just walked away while it was still good.”

“You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought,” he says.  He is still frowning at you.  “I already know how much you suck.  It was the first thing I noticed, you arrogant, womanizing ass.”

“Hey now…”     

“You’re vulgar and loud and, for someone without a dick, you think with it constantly.”  

 “I… don’t…”  You do.

“And for some reason even though you are the biggest idiot and the worst person I have ever met,” he says, still glaring, “I still like something about you.  Because even though you’re determined to not let anyone see your good side, unfortunately you have one.  Even though it’s buried so deep you have to walk into hell to find it.” 

It did not really occur to you that Seungmin has already seen your worst qualities.  Because you did not get along, you never felt a need to hide those attributes.  Inadvertently, you have been more open and honest with this annoyingly handsome brat than anyone else you have ever known.

You cannot help the smile tugging at your lips.  Seungmin rolls his eyes. 

“You’re hopeless,” he says, shaking his head as he shoves past you.  “Take me home, idiot, before I come to my senses.”   

You turn to follow him, only to get bopped on the nose when he shoves a pointed finger in your face. 

“If you even think about acting like a moron in the morning,” he says, “I will kill you and make it look like an accident.” 

You draw a cross over your heart and nod.  He huffs in aggravation, turning on his heel and stomping outside. 

“You’re the worst,” he says.  He swings open the door and stomps into the snowy night, seemingly unbothered by the fluffy bits of snow swirling around his face.  He just swings up his hood and marches through the downy white carpet.  “You better make this worth my while,” he says. 

Your eyes are on his ass in those jeans, thinking about how you very much will be making it worth his while.  You look up when he keeps grumbling to himself, a marked sign he is maybe more nervous than he is letting on.  You remember his stubbornness before his eventual acquiescence, the way he hid his face at his most vulnerable moments. 

You might be in the habit of ducking out the door, but he deflects just as much with his wit.

You hurry your pace, catching up to him.  He is still muttering to himself, head down, a soft layer of snow dusting his jacket and hood.  It must be all over your head but you hardly feel the cold.  Your mind is on warmth, that stupid heart of yours suddenly flooded with it. 

You want this to be good for him, even if he would never outright ask for you to be kind.  It is all the more reason to make sure you are.  You really were such an idiot. 

Your grip is firm but not rough, hand curling protectively over his shoulder.  This touch invites more than demands. 

He stops in place, looking at you with a wary glare.  It disappears when you swoop in.  His hood falls as you tug him close.  He goes without protest, lips parting under yours with a claiming so heated that the cold does not stand a chance against you. 

You try to keep it romantic, a rare act of restraint on your part, but the supposed good boy drags the zipper of your coat down, down, down, then grabs your belt and tugs.  You stumble, uncharacteristically shaky, gasping against his lips when he grinds his knuckles against the zip of your jeans. 

“Tsk,” he says, lips still brushing yours.  “Not prepared.” 

“I was planning on sitting around feeling sorry for myself,” you say, with a helpless laugh despite his teasing.  You grab his wandering hand, leading it away from your crotch.  You are eternally grateful your dick is the kind you can leave in your sock drawer, because resisting him right now would have been impossible otherwise.     

“Trust me,” you say.  “I’ll make up for it.”

“Fine,” he says.  “I will.  You better not let me down.”  He looks at you when he says this, as close to imploring as Seungmin ever does. 

You feel the weight of that trust.  You nod, swallowing, looking at his lips, full and pink from the hard press of your kiss.  You lean in for more when he abruptly zips your coat again, all the way up to your chin so he smacks your jaw. 

“Come on then,” he says with that mean little laugh as he scampers away, grinning at you.  “Are you gonna prove it or not?” 

It is a short drive back to the cabin, and a torturous one to boot.  Not because Seungmin touches you, but because he doesn’t, and he won’t let you touch him either.  You try to put a hand on his knee but every attempt is rebuffed.  All you get is that cheeky grin or a glare, then a mere flick of his wrist as he brushes you away like lint.

Somehow it is more maddening than a direct touch.  You can feel him everywhere just by his proximity.  He even jumps out of the car before you unbuckle your seatbelt.  He is inside the cabin before you reach the door. 

You are panting from the sprint up the driveway, trying to keep up, not entirely convinced he won’t play you for a sucker and run right out the back door.  It would be like Seungmin to make you chase him up the mountainside.  You wouldn’t blame him for making you prove yourself, considering what an ass you were. 

But he is waiting inside the cabin.  Everyone else is out for the night and should be gone for hours.  When you close the door, sealing out the cold and the world, this cabin feels flush with more heat than you know what to do with. 

You do not hesitate. The tantalizing promise of more is like a touch on its own, heightened by his stubborn refusal to give you anything easily.  It makes catching him that much more satisfying, that soft sound all the sweeter when you pull him into your arms and finally steal that kiss. 

His skin is cool from the weather but his mouth is warm, the kiss searing hot.  He digs his blunt nails into the arms of your jacket, pressing the whole length of his hard body against yours. 

You remember his unexpectedly tender places, how just a faint stroke behind his ear will have him curling into you, how looping some hair around your fingers and tugging will deepen the rumbling sound that spills past his lips.  

You unzip his coat while kissing, licking into him while he scrambles to help strip.  The coat hits the floor in a damp heap.  You separate for just a moment, giving him the chance to tug his hoodie up and off.  You toss your own jacket over the nearby couch, then hook your fingers into his belt loops and pull him close.  

His hair is in an endearing state of dishevelment and he looks flushed from the rush of warmth after the chill.  Just looking at him like this has you throbbing.  You try to imagine telling the old you that you would feel that way, that the annoying friend-of-a-friend who mutually hated your guts would be looking at you like he wants to devour you and let you return the favour. 

You can’t imagine believing it.  Now it feels completely natural, letting him walk you backwards until your back hits the wall and his chest is pressed to yours, rising and falling with the quickness of his breath. 

He is looking aside, contemplatively.  You cup his jaw and draw him back to you, unable to resist a breathless laugh when he nips at your fingers.  You do not shy away or let go, and that seems to placate him.  He practically melts against you, your hand curving around the shape of his cheek, lowering to curl gently around the side of his neck.

“We should go upstairs,” you say.  The stairs are right beside you, but somehow the bedroom seems too far.  

Impossibly, ridiculously far, when Seungmin flicks some hair out of his eyes and looks at you intensely. 

“Don’t you want me on my knees?”  he asks. 

Your response is not a real word, just a rough sound.  He smirks, but is still flushed and a little shaky as he sinks onto his knees.  He gets your belt open, tugs it free, and tosses it to the side.  The sight of him licking his lips has you seeing stars before he even leans in. 

You brush some of his hair back, looking down at his face as he focusses on unzipping your jeans.  He has the fly down when you catch your breath and your senses. 

You gather the hair at his nape in your fist and tug, firm and sharp.  His mouth falls open and his breath stutters, eyes so dark and lips so wet and plush that you are tempted to drive his face right between your legs, where is obviously offering to be. 

But that’s not how you want to do this, not yet.   You move from his hair to his neck, wrapping your hand around his throat and watching his eyelashes flutter with surprise.  There is always a breath of panic in that surprise, adrenaline fueling the flood of desire that follows.  He is visibly hard, straining in those sinful jeans, breathing harder as you none-too-nicely push him down onto the stairs. 

“What are you doing,” he says, though it sounds like less like a question than acceptance.  Continue, waving his hand like a prince on silk sheets even though he is sprawled on his back on the staircase.    

“Making it worth your while,” you say.  He is not wearing a belt because these jeans are made for his body, snug and perfect and fitted everywhere, so it is just a matter of unbuttoning—

Oof. 

He plants his foot on your chest like last time, pushing you back.  He blinks innocently.    

“Shoes first,” he says. 

You smile, though it less playful than predatory, a promise in the flash of your teeth.   You nonetheless obey his silly whim as you tug off one shoe than the other.  It leaves a damp patch on your shirt which he remarks on.   You roll your eyes but tug your shirt off, sports bra following. 

The second time you push him down, you are even less nice.  You gather his hands in yours and pin them above his head, holding him there when he squirms ineffectively. 

“You’re kind of a brat,” you say, yanking his zipper down.  “Anyone ever tell you that?”

“You,” he says, panting around the word.  “Jerk.” 

You laugh, then cover his mouth with yours, swallowing the moan that takes him by surprise.  His hips buck towards you when you reach into those jeans to take him in hand.  He wriggles in your hold, arms straining while his hips lift toward you for more, following the snapping rhythm of your hand.  You trace the dick piercings that caught you by surprise last time, the metal smooth under your rolling thumb. 

You only release him when you duck down, tasting for yourself, relishing in the sounds that spill out of him.  He claws at your bare shoulder, spreading his legs to make room for you to lay between them.  His head falls back, resting on the step above while you work him in your mouth. 

“I’m—I’m—”  His voice gets lighter, breathier, his orgasm hitting him all at once.  He throws an arm over his face instinctively, head thrown back, hips lifting.  It catches you by surprise, making you choke just a bit, but he is already coming so you ride it out.   

He is still twitching when he finishes, gasping behind his arm when you roll a thumb around his piercing again.  When he hisses, knees jerking, you let go. 

Knowing him better than you ever thought you would, you move, stretching out alongside him.  You tug him into your arms and he goes without hesitation, burying his face in your neck.  You snake a hand under his shirt, stroking his back affectionately. 

Once more, you are genuinely endeavouring to be sweet. 

Once more, he shoves his hand down your pants. 

“Hello—”  It is all you manage before he is touching you, finding all that wet desire and rubbing a little haphazardly.  It makes you laugh and you grab his wrist, slowing him down.  “Easy,” you say, showing him a better pace.  “Just like that is good.” 

He learns quickly.  It was the same last time.  Every idea you introduced, he contemplated, experimented, then excelled.  With just a nudge now, he skillfully obliges.  He is breathing hard against your throat, pressed so close to your whole body, his fingers finding all your secrets and working them out.  You slide a hand down his backside, squeezing a handful of his ass.  The sound he makes has you coming faster than usual.

He puts his hand on your thigh, then lifts his head and grins at you.  

“I’m still winning,” he says.

“It’s still not a contest,” you reply, quirking an eyebrow. 

“It is,” he says.  “And I’m winning.” 

“I see.”

You scoop him into your arms and cart him up the stairs.  He situates himself by the time you reach the bedroom, legs around your waist and arms around your shoulder.   

“Still winning?” you ask. 

“Obviously,” he replies. 

You shake your head and sigh but with no real animosity, just like his smirk is more playful than vicious.  You still whole-heartedly believe he is capable of catching you off guard, so you are prepared for the brat switch to flip at the slightest provocation. 

You drop him onto the bed with a gentle thump, then cross your arms and look down at him. 

“Can I leave you unsupervised for two minutes while I get my dick?” you ask. 

“I don’t know,” he says, blinking innocently.  “Can you?” 

“Probably not,” you say, but retreat nonetheless.   Your equipment is in your travel bag.  You left it behind when you went to the bar because you were not in the mood for a hook-up, which should have been the first sign you were hopeless.  You were already in waters far too deep when you tried reaching for that shitty life preserver.  Learning to swim is not easy but infinitely more rewarding. 

You change into packing boxers and tuck your toy into it, buttoning up the pocket.  You grab some lube and a towel, then walk back to his bedroom, certain that he has somehow caused trouble in the five minutes it took to do all that. 

He’d naked.  Of course he is.  Sitting where you left him, perched on the edge of the bed, but his clothes are folded in a pile on the dresser and he has nothing but a bedsheet pulled over his lap.  He is not wearing his usual cheeky expression, though, and you are about to ask if something is wrong.  Then he says, “I’ve never done this before.” 

“Oh,” you say.  “That’s fine.”  It is the unthinking response, automatic as the admission is not too surprising.  You live in a world where strap-ons and gender games are the norm, so sometimes you forget that most people consider it inherently kinky or an anomaly.  A lot of men are new to it.  Seungmin didn’t even know what was packing was when you first mentioned it. 

But then he says, “Any of it.” 

And you say, “Huh?” 

“I’ve never done,” he says slowly, “any of this.” 

“Any.”

“Any.”

It takes a long minute to compute.  You think about his clumsy touches and experiments followed by his quick learning.  Unabashed and unjudgmental regardless of what he encountered.  Testing and figuring himself out just as much as you. 

“Oh,” you say.  Then, “Oh.  Fucking shit.  I’m such an asshole.” 

Because that was his first time doing anything with someone, and you just walked out the door without a word the next morning. 

He does not look upset about it anymore.  In fact, he laughs, though he tries to hold it back.  It turns into a snort he barely catches, amused eyes gazing up at you. 

“Yeah,” he says.  “You are.  We already knew that.” 

“I really, I just—” 

“Can you shut up and come take my virginity before I get beatified for involuntary chastity?”

“But you’re so fucking hot,” you blurt. 

It is obviously not the retort he anticipated, because he blushes profusely, which is not the response you expected. 

He clears his throat and looks away, rolling his eyes to compensate for the obvious vulnerability. 

“Thanks,” he says.  “Stating the obvious.  I’m also picky.  And apparently I scare people.”

“Scare them?” you ask, quirking an eyebrow.  “Who’d be scared of you?”

“Evidently not you,” he says.  His tone is snarky but he looks at you, up and down, and the look is a thoughtful one.  “Not ever.” 

Agh.  There’s that heart again, pounding away.  Who knew that thing could race so fast. 

“Well,” you say, finally putting the bottle and towel on the bedside table.  “That is their loss.  Not everyone is built for chasing luxury, I guess.” 

“Luxury,” he says with another snort, grinning despite himself.  “I’m high-end,” he says it like a fact, not a question.

“Naturally,” you say, approaching where he is sitting. 

“I’m going to be honest,” he says, eyes wandering your body before landing on your face.  “I thought you were going to be weird and egotistical about being with a virgin.” 

It suddenly pings in your head that you are his first, that there is a certain responsibility that comes with that.  That the wrong person could make this terrible for him.  That you want to make sure it feels better than anything he could dream.  These thoughts are completely and truly unselfish. 

And there is one admittedly egotistical and selfish thought, of making him irrevocably yours with one really good fuck. 

He glares when he sees the look on your face, his lips pursed, though a breath of a laugh escapes nonetheless. 

“Wow!” he says.  “You’re a pig, go away.”

“No, no, I’m not, I swear!” you say, laughing. 

He laughs too but shakes his head, pushing you away when you reach for him.  “No way,” he says.  “You and your ego.  Gross.” 

“Please, I promise,” you say, getting on your knees and lacing your hands together like a praying supplicant.  “I’ll be so normal,” you say.  “I have no ego at all.”

“You’re the worst,” he says dryly. 

“Yeah, but…”  You wiggle your eyebrows at him.  “You kinda like me anyway, right?” 

It is a more vulnerable question than you thought it would be.  It prompts him to look at you, really look at you, before he huffs and rolls his eyes. 

“Unfortunately,” he says. 

You giggle and he swats your head. 

“Are we just going to sit here all night and look at each other?” he asks, crossing his arms. 

“No, no, of course not,” you say.  You get back on your feet, standing bedside so you are looming over him. 

“What are we doing then?” he asks.   

“Well, you know what we’re doing,” you say, laughing when he rolls his eyes and huffs again. 

You reach out, cupping his face in both your hands and guiding him to look up at you.  Your heartbeat hammers away not only in your chest but everywhere else, a rapid current of heat that thunders most prominently between your legs as shiny dark eyes gaze up at you amorously from such a suggestive vantage.  

“First, before anything else, this.”  You speak in a lower voice, watching his spine straighten as the sound.  You run your thumb across his bottom lip like you did earlier, except this time it is a bruised pink from kissing.  It really makes you feel like that extra weight in your boxers is coming to life, connected to you intimately, ready and wanting as you are.  Especially when you tug on that bottom lip, when he leans towards your hand like he needs it, needs you. 

“Now,” you say. “Now I want you on your knees.” 

There is a sharp intake of breath before he nods, subtly, then shifts.  The sheets falls away from his lap, revealing he is already half-hard again.  There are goosebumps along his skin, from his nudity and the chill or just anticipation. 

Last time, he needed almost no direction.  He followed his own instinct, logically deducing that the part of the toy you could feel was the part at the base, closest to your body.  He uses his usual deductions when unbuttoning your boxers, taking a second to first press the base of the toy against you before leaning back and opening his mouth. 

It is not easy to come like this, but you are so worked up that it might happen.  It does not matter if you do.  It is not always about chasing the perfect orgasm.  This time, it is touch and sensuality.  He lets you teach him, rather than stampeding like last time.  You wonder if his heart is pounding given how red the tips of his ears are, blood rushing everywhere in a hurry.  You hold his face and slide back and forth, taking your time getting wet, both yourself and the toy, pushing him a little further each time. 

When his mouth is full and he blinks slowly, contently, every bratty remark and combative tone far from his mind, you smile and tug his hair.  He moans and you push a little more, gliding back and forward again. 

“You’re a fast learner,” you say.  “Bet you could get used to this.” 

It is a testing tease, to great success if the returned moan is anything to go by.  He squeezes his eyes shut and starts touching himself, finally moving his head instead of letting you guide him.  Before he gets too lost in the rhythm, you ease him back.  You smile and rub your thumb across his shiny lips as he blinks up at you.    

“Come here,” you say, and kiss him. 

He falls into the kiss, arms wrapping around you as you lay down with him.  He is eager in the searching heat of the kiss, long and deep and hungry.   You get on your back and pull him on top of you, give him one more drawn-out kiss with a filthy wet lick into his mouth, then smile. 

“Turn around,” you say.  “Keep going.”

It takes him a second to work out what you mean, but he really is a fast learner.  Soon he is laying on top of you, face where it was before, mouth wrapping around the end of your dick and his fingers searching beneath it to stroke you directly. 

You snatch the lube off the table and wet your fingers then him, taking it slow and easy, using your mouth and spit then more lube until everything is slippery and he gives in so easily into you.  He is breathing hard down between your legs, resting his cheek on your thigh and no longer using his mouth on you.  His eyes are closed and his hips are rocking, focussed on the sensations that you are certain are overwhelming him. 

You move him around, at which point he comes to attention, looking back at you.  This is the quietest he has ever been, all the action in his heart as you expected; you can feel it racing when you touch his chest.  

You lay him down in front of you, sidling up behind him.  You lay a hand on the wildly fluttering race of his pulse, throat cupped in your palm.  You turn his face to kiss him, your wet hand stroking your wet dick.  You probably should have thrown that towel down before getting started.  The sheets are a mess already. 

“Ugh, hurry up,” he says, reaching back to smack your thigh.  “You’re the worst.  I hate you.” 

You laugh.  Oh well.  No time to worry about bedsheets.  You give his throat a gentle squeeze and smile at the noise he makes, strained and needy, his hips rearing back into you. 

“What?” you ask, sliding the toy down his backside.  “You want something?”

“I will bury you in the mountain pass,” he says.  “They’ll think it was a skiing accident.  And that you got mauled by a bear.  And eaten by wolves.  And—”

To be honest, having him distracted and rambling is for the best.  It means he is more relaxed, not so focussed when you finally start pushing in.  Of course, he feels it pretty fast, and instinctively rebels.  You stop clutching his throat and hold an arm across his chest instead, holding him protectively and kissing that sweet spot behind his ear.  His groaning turns into a whine. 

“Okay?” you ask. 

“Gonna kill you,” he says. 

“That a yes?”

“Yes.” 

“Thank you.”  You hook a hand under his leg and pull it up, giving yourself leverage, then fuck into him completely.  His whine turns to a sharp yelp, hand scrabbling against the arm on his chest.  You let him catch his breath and adjust.  “Still okay?” 

“It’s weird,” he says. 

“Bad weird?”

“No,” he says.  “It’s… it’s good.  It’s just…”  You move a little and his whole body clenches then loosens.  He makes a strangled noise but softens in your arms, though his nails have dug a pretty picture into your skin.  You are surprised he hasn’t drawn blood.  “Ugh,” he says.  “It’s so wet.  I feel like a river rafting ride.”

“Not… what most people usually say… but okay…” 

“I’m… not… most people.”

“No,” you say, kissing that spot again and finally moving your hips.  “You’re not.” 

You are not sure if his little sound of submission is in response to your actions or your words, but with it he seems to all at once open to you.  You find a rhythm, holding his hand when his fingers search for yours on his chest.  He ends up biting your arm, which you should have seen coming, but it’s fine because you leave a visible bite mark on his neck in return. 

At that he gets into it, meeting the pace you set, altering it to what he wants.  It is a good thing the house is empty because you are not quiet at all.  If your fooling around was enough to send an aggravated Minho storming after you, then this probably would have led to him burning the cabin down. 

The thought makes you snicker, which makes Seungmin ask what is so funny, so you tell him then he laughs too. 

“Ugh, stop making me laugh,” he says. 

“You can laugh while making love,” you say, kissing his neck.  “It’s okay.” 

That does not make him laugh but it does make him sigh.  “Making love, huh,” he says dryly.  “That doesn’t sound like you.”

“It didn’t,” you say, finding another sweet spot that has his whole body rearing into yours.  “I guess I’m a fast learner too.”

“Ew, you’re so annoying,” he says, but squeezes your fingers in his hand. 

“I think you’re not getting fucked right if you’re still this bratty,” you say playfully, prompting him to roll his eyes. 

“What are you gonna do about it?  Make love at me?  Sap.” 

You laugh, kiss his neck, then move away to roll him onto his back.  He wriggles a bit, surprised with the change and sudden emptiness.  His legs part easily when you move between them, but you still snap, “Spread.  Good.”  Because it makes him swallow hard, his dark eyes sparkling and his mouth bruised, hair mussed and body flushed.  He is already a fucked out sight, but he wants more, and you give it. 

You snap your hips together and fuck into him.  This time you do hold his throat, gently, not repressing air but showing control.  He holds your forearm with both hands, his face scrunching up, eyes closed as he focusses in that intense way of his.  He breathes hard, makes sweet sounds, and not a single antagonistic or bratty word leaves his pretty mouth. 

“I think I’m finally winning,” you tease, to which he just makes a hiccupping sound of pleasure.  “Yeah, that’s right.” 

You hold his ridiculously pretty dick and give it the expert treatment it deserves.  The combination of sensations has him throwing his head back, clawing your arm as you work him in your head.  You cannot feel the end of the toy, but there is a magic in this kind of fucking, and when he comes and he clutches your arm and he screams your name, when the muscles in his abdomen clench and you know he is feeling sensation in every part of his body, you can feel him wrapped around you, wholly and completely, like you could feel him when he wasn’t even touching you at all. 

He writhes almost desperately as you keep touching him until he can’t take it anymore, then you ease him down and pull back. 

“Good?” you ask, sitting back, looking down at him, blissfully fucked out and dishevelled. 

“Yes,” he murmurs.  “I won. Again.” 

“Gonna need to supply me with that rubric one of these days,” you say. 

“Meh-meh-meh,” is the half-hearted retort, delving to a sleepy sigh. 

 “Gotta take care of yourself before you go to sleep,” you say, though you have a feeling it’s a losing battle, his eyelids already heavy. 

“That’s what you’re for,” he grumbles. 

That damn heart really does have a mind of its own.  It has clearly decided to make its presence known whenever it damn well pleases. 

You run your fingers through his messy hair, smiling when he blinks up at you. 

You tidy him up then scoop him into your arms to carry him to your bed, because that one is not a filthy sex nest.  He wakes a little on the journey.  And when you lay down and pull a sheet up, he rolls towards you and throws an arm and a leg around you, pinning you to the bed. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you say.  “I promise.”

“Good,” he says.  “You’re too stupid to be out there on your own.” 

You laugh in spite of yourself, shaking your head, but you put an arm around him and nod. 

“You’re right,” you say. 

“Of course I am.”  He snuggles in close and sighs.  “Now go the fuck to sleep.  Your dick is in the sink so you have no excuse.  Good night.”  

“Good night,” you say with a laugh. 

I think I won too, you almost say, but decide let him believe he is the only winner for now, because he is already falling asleep with his head on your shoulder.   

You can tell him in the morning. 

[majestichyuk]

Sweet spot

Pairing :- Masseur!Jaemin x fem!reader

Summary :- After much convincing, maybe not at your own will, you finally agreed to get that much-needed massage, Thank you Seungkwan. 

Genre :- Smut (because I’m nice like that), fluff if you squint (you'll definitely see it), coworker Seungkwan, strangers to potential lovers. 

Wc :-  3.7K 

WARNING :- Reader has a nipple piercing (cause she, YOU are freaky like that.), teasing, dirty talk, Buff Jaemin, yes that is a warning, Jaemin loves the booty (you shouldn’t be surprised) so ass is being ATE just a lil lick is all, Jaemin is a pussy fiend. Female receiving, oral, cum eating, sexual tension. (I think that’s all ), sry for mistakes if there is any.

NOTES :- This here lady sluts and gentle whores is my first half smut that was in the making. I spent an hour and a half working on it, so I’ll check this off as the 4th story I’ve successfully completed 🎉 kudos to me. I hope you enjoy it and if you do comment and if you don't and think I could improve something still comment or message me anonymously, cause critique can lead to my improvement but being bitchy will get you nowhere, ANYWAYS, LIKE, REBLOG & FOLLOW. 

-------------------------------------------------------

“Why don’t you just come with me to the spa on Saturday, huh y/n?” Your best friend/coworker, begged you as he grabbed your arm, tugging you lightly.

“Do I look like I have time to go to a spa?” You licked the tip of your finger as you skimmed through the documents that your lazy boss rudely dropped on your desk, without uttering as much as a please.

“And plus, Saturdays are clean-up days, my cousin is a lazy fuck and I have to suffer from it,” You itch the crown of your head, slightly groaning realizing you might have to do an all-nighter once again on a Friday evening with the load of work in front of you. 

“Why don’t I take some of these with me,” Seungkwan lightly squeezed your hands as he took up about 60% of your work from your desk. 

“That way you can have a good night's sleep, while I plan our day out tomorrow,” Seungkwan squealed as he imagined finally getting to pamper you but you had to rain on his parade.

“No” You took the papers from him and placed them in your folder.

“No?” He looked at you in disbelief.

“I didn’t stutter, I won’t burden my work on you, it’s fine,” You reassured him.

“But you didn’t put your work on me, I volunteered,” He snatched your folder and took out the papers he had before, getting up from his seat and placing them in his briefcase.

“And I don’t want to hear any more nonsense about you doing all the work at the house when your cousin is a grown MAN,” Seungkwan picked up his suit jacket and swiftly put it on.

“Ah Kwannie, It’s really not a big deal– okay…” You stopped uttering a word when he hit you with that stare, a stare only a child of a strict and overprotective mother would understand, it was bone-chilling really.

“Good, I’ll text you the details so make sure you fix yourself up nice and be punctual,” Seungkwan placed his polyester scarf around his neck and ray-ban his glasses on (yes he wears ray-bans shut up). 

“Go home, finish off the work, do whatever you do at night, that ritual of yours whatever, and sleep well, sleep early,” Seungkwan pulled you up from your seat and pulled you into a hug.

“You sure you don’t like girls, I’m just saying if you’d allow me to slap on a strap I’d make a heck of a guy,” Seungkwan pushed you off and picked up his phone, giving you a side glance.

“Girl if you don’t go home, goodbye.” He laughed richly as he walked out, leaving the office. You followed the same routine minutes later and headed home. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------

Seungkwan ended up sending you the website for the Spa he had been rambling about for weeks on end as soon as you stepped into the door of your house. You decided to check it out after completing your office work and getting ready for bed.

After an hour and a half, you flopped into your bed, finally getting to relax. You checked the time, normally you’d finish work around late 11 but now it was around 8:35p.m, thanks to Seungkwan that was your earliest, EVER. You did a light prayer for him because he’s an angel.

You covered yourself with your sheet and opened your and Seungkwan's messages where he sent the link, you exchanged words with him before you clicked the link. 

He told you he already made the reservation on your behalf and because he was close friends with a guy named Wonwoo there, he was able to get a discount. He told you your first appointment would be a massage done by some woman named Na Jaemin, it should be an easy name to remember because before you started working in your current job you were a daycare teacher and there was the cute little girl whose name was IM Jaemin, oh was she a menace.

The website just showed all the available procedures, the cost, and the exaggerated descriptions of the long-lasting after-effects of the excellent experience. You turned your phone off, turned it over, and went to sleep.

—-----------------------------------------------------------

Loud, obnoxious snores were coming from your room, your cousin slowly opened your door, peeping inside to check to see if you were okay, living, and not choking to death.

He walked up to your bed and pinched your lips shut. “You need to change your settings on that noise that you’re making,” He looked at you in disgust, shaking his head, and watched as you stopped breathing and shot up from your sleep in a sitting position, knocking him on his ass on the floor. 

“CHENLE WHAT THE FUCK?!” If looks could kill you’d have a red dot aimed at your forehead right now. Chenle got up and dusted himself off.

“You do know I could hear you snoring all the way across the hall?” He used his thumb and pointed outside your door, You rolled your eyes and checked your phone.

“Oh fuck!” You jumped out of bed, shoving Chenle out of the way, he landed on your bed and flopped on the floor as you grabbed your towel and rushed into the bathroom. 

“YOU’RE WELCOME YOU MIX-BREED ASSHOLE!” Chenle shouted as he stormed behind you.

“CLEAN MY HOUSE YOU OBNOXIOUS PIECE OF SHIT!,” You replied as you slammed the bathroom door, minutes later you heard his bedroom slam as well, and you rolled your eyes.

—-----------------------------------------------------------

“Don’t look at me like that,” You sulk as you look away from Seughkwan. So you woke up late and got there late and when you arrived you were met with a disappointed Boo Seughkwan, arms crossed, legs over one another as he sat outside of the Spa company in the few seats placed outside, looking at you blankly.

“I have every right to jump you in this very moment–..but I’m not going to because I have a reputation to obtain here,” He got up and walked inside, with you following behind.

“Just know I would never go down without a fight, there’s only one of us who actually took boxing classes,” You raised your brow at him as he flicked your forehead and told you to keep quiet as he spoke to the receptionist.

You purse your lips as you look around the establishment, It has a cozy feel. The decor is so homely with some pictures of the employees that work here placed up on the wall, warm colors decorated the place as it was spotless you could almost see yourself on the tiled floors. 

The receptionist lady asked you about your information and told you to wait in the available room on the second floor. 

“Enjoy your massage babe,” Seungkwan says as he quickly places your hair in a bun (If you imagined your hair up, unimagine it, 💀 boo put it up for you). 

“I heard he’s amazing at his job AND he was highly recommended when I filled out the server on your behalf,” You froze after registering his words.

“He’s?Him?He?” You side glanced at him. “Why didn’t you feel the need to mention a dude is gonna be feeling me up Mr. Boo?” You forced a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Get me a masseuse Seungkwan,” 

“Y/N-”

“Get me a masseuse Seungkw-,” Seungkwan used his index and thumb to pinch your lips together. (Justice for y/n’s lips in the chat)

“I love you Y/N, I do, but last time I checked I paid for this shit, and you are going to enjoy every last minute of it, Okay?” Seungkwan asked.

“Fine,” You say with a smile that transforms into a dirty look. “This better be the most mind-blowing and toe-curling experience I’ve ever had.”

“And it would be the only and first experience you ever had,” Seungkwan mumbled as he walked to the elevator after signing some papers. 

“What’d you say,” You questioned.

“Nothing,” He laughed as he pinched your cheeks while calling you all sorts of baby names.

—-----------------------------------------------------------

You entered the designated room on the second floor, wiped your palm on your shirt, and nervously opened the door. You see a little walk-in closet on the right side of the room with a curtain placed to divide the areas.  You see there are a couple of hangers and a table with some towels placed beside it. You took off your shirt and placed it on one of the hangers, you quickly took off your bra and put on the towel provided. Thirdly it was your pants until you heard the door open. 

“Good evening, Miss L/N, I’ll be your masseur for this session,” You froze as you peeped through the curtains to put a face to that alluring voice and you almost wished you had convinced your best friend a little more about switching. 

“Um Hi, I’ll be out in a minute,” You quickly responded as you disappeared behind the curtains again. 

“You can leave on your underwear if that would make you more comfortable,” Jaemin assured you as he went to set up the room. He started lighting some candles to set a relaxing mood. The whole room was filled with the soft scent of lavender and a hint of sweet orange that was rich in limonene. 

You folded your pants and kept on your panty as suggested by the masseur. You walked out of the room and set your eyes upon the gorgeous man in question. He was muscular-looking, even in the scrubs he wore. He looked up at you from his place on the floor when he was searching for the oil that happened to be at the bottom back part of the drawer.

“Well you requested a full body massage and I’ll try my best to fulfill your desired needs,” Jaemin softly grinned at you and motioned for you to take a seat on the massage table, you’ll remember to put salt in Seungkwan’s coffee on Monday. 

“Thank you,” You found it hard to really say anything, his stare was quite intimidating even though his smile gave you butterflies that just made your heart swell.

He turned his back to you so you took the opportunity to discard your towel and lay on the table. You laid on your back and placed the towel on top of you. Jaemin turned around with his oil in hand, smiling down at you.

“Well all you have to do for me is relax,” Jaemin said, the tone of his voice, giving you goosebumps.

“Okay,” You replied softly as you relaxed your body and closed your eyes, taking the aroma of the atmosphere and bringing your body to ease. 

Jaemin adjusted your towel to your mid-thigh, the tip of his fingers lightly brushing your skin, he then moved upwards and brought the top of your towel to the midsection of your breast. 

He began his work on your shoulders. He delicately kneaded the area, softly caressing all the knots you have in your neck, gently tracing under your jaw with his thumbs. It felt divine, no man had ever touched you with such thoughtfulness and you’re hoping he’s not the last.

Jaemin moved his hands slowly down your arms, gingerly squeezing the tight muscles as he steadily brought them back up, repeating the process as you felt sleep creeping up on you, Jaemin came back up to your cleavage.

“Would you mind if I removed the top of the towel?” Jaemin asked as he was still above you, looking up at him and seeing him upside down was a little odd but he still for some odd reason looked good.

“Is it mandatory for the massage?” You asked and that made Jaemin smile at you.

“Well, of course, I only deliver the best, and I may even give you a special massage,” Jaemin smiled down at you again, but the smile was different, his eyes seemed to be telling a whole other story, his hands brush the top of your chest, you mutter a quiet okay and closed your eyes once again, letting the cozy environment take over. 

“Good, it’s okay, I’ll take good care of you,” He said in such a deep tone, way different from the customer service one he used when he first greeted you, you wondered if it was because he was just comfortable as it’s his natural forte. 

He reached over you and moved the towel under your breast, now at the navel of your stomach, he placed it quite low but you didn’t mind. Jaemin released a slightly strained exhale as he pursed his lips and poured some of the oil into his brawny hands. His eyes fell on your nipples, customized in a barbell designed with a crystal, rhinestone, clear zircon, and a beautiful set of pink gems. 

He firmly positioned his hands at the side of your breast, gently caressing the fat. He cupped it and massaged under the flesh as he slowly brought his hand up and faintly grazed your nipple. You let out a surprised gasp not expecting to be so sensitive. Jaemin looked down at you, examining your face, and noticed your mouth was slightly ajar due to the sound you let out earlier. From this angle he had the perfect chance to just shove his twitching dick down your throat, he bet it’s warm like the way your body is heating up right now but he brushed it off and continued his work on your chest.

He squeezed the flesh and watched as you hurried to bite your bottom lip, Jaemin thought it was time he went to another part of your body. He made his way to your lower body, he noticed you had on your underwear.

“Would it be okay if I asked you to remove the towel completely? since you have on your undergarments,” Jaemin asked you as he clasped his hands behind his back, staring you down deeply with a sweet smile. You nodded your head, and you gazed down at yourself, seeing your nipples stand up tall and proud, you genuinely felt way more relaxed than when you first came here. 

“Wonderful, I enjoy giving pleasure to others who look like they haven’t had a good rest day,” Jaemin discarded the towel away from your body and placed it on the table beside him.

You smiled, you couldn’t conceal it, he was a sweet talker. You begin to shut your eyes and Jaemin starts to rub on your feet, you let out a soft groan, you are on your feet the majority of the time at work so this feels like heaven. He inches up your leg and starts kneading different areas, after some time he asks if you could turn over.

Jaemin has always been a man with excellent self-control but he guesses there’s a first for everything. You turned over on your stomach and Jaemin took that as a sign to take a breather, he looked down at himself and noticed his problem. At this point, he doesn’t know how long he’ll be able to hold it. He gripped himself and let out a soft sigh as he looked down at you, he furrowed his brows as he approached the table once again, contemplating if he should start with the top or lower half first.

Jaemin made up his mind as he poured some oil on your smooth back, you had laid your head on your forearm. Jaemin tenderly massaged your back, working out all sorts of sounds from you, because he’s just that good with his hands. 

He finished off with your back and moved to your legs, caressing your soft thighs, eyes settling on the slight jiggle of your plump ass. He looked up at you and delicately spread your legs apart a little as he moved his way to your inner thighs. He observes the way your pussy lips struggle to stay concealed in your baby blue panties, Jaemin bites down on his tongue and took a deep exhale, swallowing down thick as he sees some wetness forming on your underwear, Jaemin continues his task as he boldly inches closer to your prized possession. 

You started to squirm, feeling slightly bothered, needy even. You innocently lifted your hips off the table, trying to get some friction and squeeze your thighs together but Jaemin kept them open. 

“I thought I told you to relax, If you behave I can easily give you what you want,” Somehow you can hear Jaemin like he was right by your ears and he was, he stood beside you, roughly rubbing the fat muscle of your ass, spreading your cheeks apart and watching them jiggle back in their place. 

“Will you look at that,” Jaemin whispers as he takes the bottle of oils and pours some of it over your ass. Jaemin went back to the foot of the table and climbed between your legs.

“What are you doing, Jaemin?” You softly questioned Jaemin as you felt the cushion on the massage table dip under you. 

“I’m just trying to get a better position so I can give you an amazing happy ending, love” That tone, he used again but this time it was more sultry and lust-filled, you could almost see the smirk on his face, you have a feeling you know where this is headed and you’re all on board with playing along, note to self buy Seungkwan dinner after you put salt in his coffee. 

“Okay, I hope this all was worth the hassle,” You replied knowing damn well it was.

Jaemin bit his lips as he kneaded your ass, he used his knees to spread your legs apart more. He laid on his stomach, inched closer, rubbed his nose on the line of your panty, bit the fat of your ass, and grazed his thumb over your asshole. He dipped his head and licked the outside of your underwear, softly biting your inner thigh.

Your moans began to increase the more he teased you, as if he could read minds he turned you over, wanting to see your face. 

“Would you like me to continue?” Jaemin lips started to rise on one side, giving you a teasing smile.

You blushed at his bluntness, “Eat me out Jaemin,”.

Jaemin leaned forward and pulled you by the back of your neck into a rough and sloppy kiss, honestly the best you’ve had. He gently sucked on your tongue and pulled at your hard nipple. 

“So fucking sexy,” Jaemin said as he gave you a once over before spreading your legs and giving them for you to hold, he run his hands on the back of your thigh as he examines every inch of you spread out in front of him. 

He hooked a finger under your panties and pulled them to the side. You let out a quiet moan as the cold air hit your wet pussy. He pushed your legs back even more so you hooked them behind your head.

“Look at this pretty pussy, so fucking wet,” Jaemin ran his finger around your lips and brought his finger to his mouth, humming about how sweet you tasted. He dipped his head and took a long swipe with his thick tongue.

“Oh fuck,” You let out a relief sign after finally getting some attention, you looked down at Jaemin sucking on your swollen clit that was painfully neglected in months. His head bobbed up and down as he took slow and sensual slurps, making your toes curl and breath hitch.

You started to rock your hip but Jaemin placed his heavy hands on your ass to hold you down, he dipped his head lower and poked his tongue on your asshole, fighting his way in. 

“Maybe I’ll have to prep you another time,” Jaemin smirks as makes his way to your gaping hole, sticking his long tongue, and forcing a strained moan out of you. He looked up at you, feeling himself grow even harder if that’s possible, absolutely falling in love with the way he has you a putty just from his tongue, the way you just look so sexy to him like this, pussy all red and angry, juices dripping from his chin, the way you bite your lips to conceal your sexy whimpers. 

He groped your breast and brought his attention back to your clit, switching between licking and sucking, completely abusing it. You reached your hand to his head to keep him in position.

“Oh don’t fuckin stop- oh my fucking– shit Jaemin..” You laid your head to the side, one eye clenching as your toe curled for dare life. Jaemin bore his face deeper into your soaking pussy, placing his tongue back inside as his nose rubbed your clit, sending you into cloud nine. He removed his face and quickly replaced it with his skilled hand, he placed his fingers on your clit and started swiping vigorously. 

You felt your stomach suck in as you started twitching, you felt like a bucket of water was thrown over you and you woke up from a dream you’d do anything to get back to. 

“Yes, look at that, wanna give me more,” Jaemin watched as you completely drenched his arm when you squirted, something you didn’t know you could do until today. He sucked up every last drop causing you overstimulation. 

You removed your legs and grabbed his face, bringing him into a passionate kiss. He placed his forehead on yours smiling embarrassingly.

“You definitely have to be my soulmate if you were able to make me come in my pants without touching me,” Jaemin said with a light chuckle. 

“I can do that, If you take me out on a date?, we can split the bill since I suggested,” You looked Jaemin deep into his eyes and he blushed slightly.

“I like that idea, but I’ll pay for the bill,” He kissed your lips before getting up from the table.

You both cleaned up and of course exchanged contacts, and it was history from there. 

Thank you Seungkwan.

[chlorinecake]

PART 1: GHOST FACE YANDERE imagine

Ｂｌｏｏｄ Ｏｎ Ｉｃｅ | 얼음에 피 - a park sunghoon ff

⚡︎ cw: mentions of suicide, violence, bullying, character deaths, swearing, underage drinking, unprotected sex, bad ending lol, ft. ive’s WONYOUNG and le sserafim’s KAZUHA

⚡︎ summary: sunghoon seeks revenge against the girls that bullied his little sister in high school, leading up to her tragic suicide

⚡︎ wc: 8.3k ~ read part 2 here!!

three years ago

For Sunghoon Park, death was hardly a foreign concept. He committed his first murder around the age of eighteen, the victim being a fellow athlete from his ice skating team, Cha Jun-Hwan. The dynamic pair maintained a solid friendship since the day they met, up until Sunghoon’s sixteen-year-old half-sister, Wonyoung, blossomed into a beautiful young lady. She stopped wearing glasses and got her braces removed, but most importantly, she was confident in her own skin. “You’re more beautiful than any princess I’ve ever seen, Wonyo. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise,” Sunghoon would encourage her every day in front of her vanity mirror. “Thank you, Sunghoon-ah! You always know how to cheer me up” she’d smile, patting his head as she left for school.

Eventually, Wonyoung started dating Jun-Hwan behind Sunghoon’s back. Their secret relationship went on for about 3 months before Sunghoon caught them during a half-naked-make-out session in Wonyoung’s bedroom. She sat on the edge of her bed as if frozen, wearing black gym shorts and a pink bralette. Jun-Hwan was topless as well, with Wonyoung’s love bites decorating his bare chest. A mix of rage and disgust burned being Sunghoon's eyes. Grabbing a large pillow to cover her exposed figure, Jun-Hwan rambled on, “Sunghoon, I can explain! We meant to tell you sooner, but-“

“Get the fuck out of my house before I kill you,” Sunghoon threatened sharply, before an embarrassed Jun-Hwan ran out the door, leaving the Park siblings to figure things out.

Some time passed, and rumors about Wonyoung ran rampant throughout her high school, most of which being initiated by Jun-Hwan himself. An immeasurable pity birthed within Sunghoon whenever he’d hear the muffled sobs coming from his sister’s bedroom at night as she struggled to get any sleep. He wanted Jun-Hwan to pay for the pain he’d brought upon her.

The plan was simple, really.

Sunghoon made it look like a camping trip gone wrong, killing off four of his teammates including Jun-Hwan in the woods. He made it look like a vicious bear attack, which surprisingly fooled the police, leaving him scot-free.

Sunghoon went on to quit his dreams of becoming an Olympic champion, pursuing the academic route instead.

Though, Wonyoung’s torment was far from over.

A group of mean girls called her names like “piranha pussy” and “semen demon” after Jun-Hwan’s death, claiming that she supernaturally killed him during intimacy. Suffering from constant scrutiny at school and grieving the loss of her first boyfriend, despite all that he'd said about her, Wonyoung was driven to commit the unspeakable, and took her own life. Her body was buried soon after, with posts like “Gone too soon” and “fly high, princess 🕊️🎀” pinned on everyone’s socials, including the mean girls.

After his sister's death, Sunghoon was never the same. His innate will to kill only grew stronger as the years went by. He made a promise to Wonyoung on her funeral, saying that he would someday avenge her no matter how long it'd take him.

➠ three years later, wednesday

“Sunghoon is hosting a party at his place this Friday night. Wanna come?” Your friend Kazuha asked you from her end of the phone. She developed a habit of face timing you whenever she was in the mood for a movie. You were busy scrolling through Netflix catalogs from the comfort of your couch, searching for a descent film.

“Sunghoon Park?” You inquired at the familiar name.

“The sad rich kid whose sister committed suicide after her boyfriend died? Yes, that guy,” she said, struggling to open a jar of pickles.

“Ugh, I could totally use your feminine power muscles right now," she cried, her face contorting as she fought with all her might to release the tight lid.

“That sounds kinda gay, Kaz.”

“Only for you, ____,” she winked playfully before searching her kitchen drawers for a butter knife.

“I mean, are you sure he’s okay with us coming considering how we treated his little sister?” You stopped your scrolling, putting the tv remote down on the coffee table.

“It’s not our fault she couldn’t handle a few jokes.” Kazuha retrieved the lost butter knife from the dishwasher, walking back to the counter,

“Doesn't it make you feel guilty sometimes?”

“C’mon, ____, that was ages ago! And besides, we were kids, we didn't know any better,” she lied, neglecting the fact that you were both well informed of the life-threatening dangers that came with bullying. Kazuha was just having a hard time admitting it.

You were quiet for a moment. How could she be so insensitive?

“Whatever," you mumbled, reaching for the remote again, swiping through the horror movie section. "What’s the hype around this party for, anyways?”

“It’s a costume party, silly!”

Although you were on movie-hunting duty, this conversation was starting to make you sleepy.

“Girl? Are you yawning?”

“Give me a break, Kaz! It's past my bedtime, now pay attention to your pickles,” you joked, rubbing the urge to sleep from your eyes with your free hand.

“It’s the last week of summer break. Don’t let productivity get in the way of your fun before school starts again,” Kazuha protested in both her defense and your favor.

You meditated on her words for a moment before answering.

“Ugh, fine! Only if you promise to join me at the mall for some early morning costume shopping,” you negotiated, pointing a finger at her through your phone.

“Yay!” She cheered, bouncing around her kitchen in a fit of joy, accidentally knocking the glass jar of pickles unto the floor.

“Dammit,” she swore under her breath, running out of frame to likely grab a mop or broom.

Ring. Ring.

You glanced from the tv, taking a quick peek at your phone: Unknown Caller ID.

Hanging up, you proceeded to scroll through Netflix.

Ring. Ring.

The same number was calling you again.

Kazuha was now back in frame, both her broom and mop keeping her hands occupied.

“You can call me back after you check that, if you want.”

“No worries, it’s just some random unknown number that can’t find a hobby.”

“Oooo, spooky,” she said in a teasing voice.

You hung up the incoming call, only for it to call you back once again. Now you were curious.

“Uhm, I’m gonna call you back, Kaz,” you said before hanging up.

“Kk!”

You answered the unknown caller, holding the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?” You asked.

“I’ve been dying for you to answer.”

“Yeah? And how’re you feeling now?”

“Honestly, I’ve been better. What’re you up to?”

“Looking for a good movie to fall asleep to.”

“Really? What genre?”

“Dunno. Probably something scary.”

“Do you like scary movies?”

Yikes. These prank callers really needed to step up their scare game. You decided to play along.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” It took everything in you not to cackle at how ridiculous you sounded. This mystery man was truly a recycled character.

“Hmm, you never told me your name, by the way.”

“Hmm, and I don’t think I will.”

“Oh, it’s because you have a boyfriend, isn’t it?”

“Nooo. Now tell me, why do you want to know my name? Huh?”

“So I can know who I’m looking at.”

You rolled your eyes at his cliche script.

“Right, so anyways, I’m gonna hang up now and you can just…uh, I don’t know, touch yourself til you’re content again.”

“Don’t hang up on m-“

What a loser, you thought to yourself, calling Kazuha back.

“Hi! What did they want?”

“It was just some nerd trying to prank call me.”

“No way. Did he sound hot?”

“Kaz, do you wanna watch this stupid movie or not?”

“Fine, fine, I’ve got my pickles and everything. Now press play!”

➠ thursday

Another easy day spent between you and Kazuha went by. After raiding the strip mall’s clothing shops (and food courts) in search of the sexiest party costumes available, you two agreed on an “Angel x Devil” duo theme. Kazuha chose the devil costume, handing you the sparkly white halo from the angel set. “It’s giving Victoria’s Secret,” Kazuha said, checking herself out in the changing room mirror before striking an awkward pose. You could tell she was trying to lighten the mood, but you couldn't get over how uncomfortable the revealing outfit made you feel. You and Kaz used to slut shame girls who dressed like this, only to turn around and do the same thing yourself. This whole experience felt hypocritical. “I look like an attention-whore,” you said to the mirror, a pitiful expression waving over your features. Kazuha walked over to you, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Cheer up, ____. You’re more beautiful than any attention-whore I’ve ever seen, and don't you ever let someone tell you otherwise,” she smiled, kissing you on the head.

“Yay, how flattering.”

“No, I’m serious. We’re gonna be sophomores next semester. How long is it gonna take before we explore our scandalous side? Unless you plan on dying a virgin.”

Oh, the horror.

You considered her words for a moment, giving yourself one more look in the mirror.

“I guess this corset makes my boobs look pretty nice…”

“That’s the spirit! Now c’mon my child. Follow sugar mommy Zuha to the register,” she cheered in a high pitched voice, collecting the clothing tags and paying for your costumes.

➠ friday

12:23pm

You walked into the craft store and were greeted by the smell of sawdust and lumber. Grabbing a hand basket, you strolled around the aisles in search for a few repair materials. Last week, Kazuha accidentally broke the shelf you had installed in your wall with her heavy stretching equipment. Needless to say, you were left to pick up the pieces. To your misfortune, the wood glue was placed on an abnormally high rack. Raising up on tippy toes, you extended your arm, barely grazing the item with your fingertips. That’s when a tall figure reached over your frame, obtaining the wood glue with ease. “Thought you might want a little help with that,” the deep voice chimed, placing the wood glue in your basket.

You looked up to meet his face, jolting as if you’d seen a ghost. The helpful stranger proved to be none other than Sunghoon Park, the older brother of the girl you bullied to suicide back in high school. The last time you saw Sunghoon was at his sister’s funeral, which was almost three years ago. “Are you okay,” he asked, noticing the way your features fell at the sight of him. You tried to recollect your thoughts, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Y- yeah, I’m okay. Thanks,” you said nodding, trying to reassure the both of you.

He eyed you curiously, finding your bashfulness to be rather endearing.

“Do I,” he began, pointing at himself and back to you, “-have we met before?”

“No, I uh- Well, kind of. I- I knew your sister,” you admitted, trying to ignore your own stuttering.

“Oh, I remember. You’re ____, right? Yeah. Wonyo told me all about you and your friends. Who were they again?”

“Kazuha and Maddison.”

“Hmm, and where are they now,” he asked, following along as you subconsciously picked up a pack of brad nails.

“Well, Kaz is actually coming to your party tonight. Maddie moved away a while ago after her brother passed in the camping accident.”

All he did was smile in response. You found that odd, but didn’t give it much thought as he kept talking.

“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about those years recently.”

You nodded, hoping he would continue.

“I tried telling her to ignore the rumors. To keep smiling and focusing on things that made her happy. I guess it just came to a point where she couldn’t pretend anymore.”

Something in you wanted to say sorry, but you came to realize a long time ago that apologies lacked much worth anyway, benefiting the offender more than the offended. You wondered if he even knew how you used to treat her.

You made your way to the check out line, placing your basket on the conveyor belt. The cashier scanned your items, and you handed her your debit card.

“I’ve been thinking about her, too. Wonyoung was such a bright soul, and put her all in everything she did. She used to talk about you all the time, sharing stories of how amazing you were on the ice. She was so proud of you.”

“Yeah,” his voice cracked.

“Would you like your receipt,” the employee asked cheerfully.

“No, that’s okay. Have a good day,” you wished, taking your shopping bag in one hand and Sunghoon’s wrist in the other.

He was docile as you guided him outside of the craft store, pulling him to face you. Breaking the tension, you gave him a hug, leaning into his chest.

He restrained his sniffles rather well before pulling away as if he wasn’t just on the verge of crying.

“So, are you in school,” he asked, started up a new conversation.

“Yeah, I’m a sophomore. We actually go to the same university.”

“Really? I’ve never seen you around before. I’m a junior. What’s your major?”

“English.”

“Ahh, that makes sense. I’m majoring in Psychology, so we won’t have many classes together.”

You couldn’t believe that he was actually this comfortable talking with you. It was a relief knowing that he didn’t hold his sister’s passing against you.

“Well, enough with the sad stuff, I’ve got some last minute errands to run for the party, so I’ll see you tonight, alright? Do you need a ride?”

“Yeah, actually. Thanks for offering.”

Why was he being so nice?

“Yeah, no problem! I’ll pick u up around 8, okay? It was nice meeeting you again!”

“Yeah, you too!”

2:41pm

9:03pm

It was a Friday night and the mood was right, as some would say. You and Kazuha were dressed to impress in your flirty costumes, earning yourself glares from every corner of the room. You arrived a little later then anticipated, but were still thankful for Sunghoon’s kind gesture of driving you two all the way here. However, he’d been missing in action for the past hour, and you were really hoping that you would have the chance to talk with him again. In the meantime, you sat on one of his fancy couches, enjoying the lively rhythms of the music. Colorful flashing lights kissed the tall ceiling, with an array of drinks and snacks displayed at a bar. You knew Sunghoon was rich, but he had really outdone himself.

Walking over to the bar, you grabbed one of the plastic red cups and filled it with whatever flavored liquid enticed you from the large punch bowl, having a seat at one of the metal bar stools. You gave the drink a whiff before taking a sip.

Someone had definitely spiked the juice.

Although you currently had no one around to chat with, you tried to find some enjoyment in the crowded solitude, watching fellow party goers dance their hearts out before joining them yourself.

9:13pm

Kazuha invited herself to take a tour around Sunghoon’s fancy abode, that honestly felt more like a mansion than a home. She wasn’t sure if it was the faint traces of alcohol in her system, but she was certainly in the mood for a good time. Walking through his home’s back door, she spotted him sitting near his pool, staring at the wind-produced waves. She walked towards him, sitting in the idle seat beside him.

“Hi,” he started, barely glancing at her before looking back at the water, reflecting the moon’s beautiful glow.

“Hi. You didn’t dress up for your own party,” she chuckled, swirling the red liquid in her cup.

“I am dressed up. As myself, of course.”

“So, ‘Sunghoon Park’ is a part of your costume then, yeah?”

“Maybe. Would you like to get to know the real me?”

“Maybe,” she said in between a long sip of the fruity drink she held in her hand.

“If you could be anything at all, what would you be?”

Sunghoon rested his elbows on his thighs in a thinking position.

“A ghost.”

“You’d make one goon of a ghost,” she humored herself until she noticed that he wasn’t amused by her antics.

“Ghosts are liberal beings, free from the taxing cares of this blood and bone world.”

‘Who wouldn’t want that,’ Sunghoon thought to himself.

“Uhuh. So, how do you think your dead little sister is enjoying her boring life as a graveyard ghoul?” He froze at her question, gripping his fists around nothing, trying to get a hold of his emotions.

Kazuha was being a bitch on purpose. It was an innate attitude of hers that she had yet to break. Still and all, she couldn’t help but wonder what Wonyoung would be like if she was still here.

‘If they’re better than me, they’re better gone,’ Kazuha often reminded herself, more so as an affirmation, rather than out of belief.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Sunghoon retorted, searching his blazer pocket for his silver flask, taking a thick gulp from its spout. Kazuha watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed with each swallow, marveling at the shadow of facial hair growing on his chin.

Cute.

His jaw clenched at the strong drink, the condensation from the silver canister leaving a print from his warm fingertips.

“Want some,” he asked, giving her a nonchalant look.

“Sure,” she said, opening her mouth for him to pour a stream of the amber liquid down her throat.

“You have a pretty tongue,” he said, using a thumb to toy with her lower lip.

Kazuha felt dizzy under Sunghoon’s dark gaze, his piercing eyes telling of all the bad things he planned to do to her.

He laid a hand on her exposed thigh, gripping at the plush skin. “Look at you, squirming in your seat for me and I’ve barely even touched you,” he whispered against her lips, tasting the rum that flavored her mouth with a kitten lick. Her eyes fluttered at the action. How was he so comfortable doing this in front of all these people?

“Is this why you hated Wonyo for so long? Because she could pull hot guys like me effortlessly? I never understood why it was so hard for you, anyway, considering that you go both ways,” he slithered.

She grabbed his wrist, snatching his grasp from her face.

“What? I thought we were having a little fun,” he grinned like a sly fox, displaying his pearly fangs.

“No, Goon! You were having fun!” She got up from the poolside, adjusting her clothes and wiping her mouth. “I don’t wanna be here anymore, tell ____ I’ll see her tomorrow.”

He set his eyes back on the water, taking another sip from the flask.

She waved her arms above her head frantically, trying to get his attention again. “Aren’t you gonna take me home?”

“Forget it, Kaz. You can walk home for all I care.”

She scoffed to herself. “You’re joking.”

“And you’re a classless bitch who bullies girls who’re better than you,” he spat, tucking his flask away in his jacket pocket before getting up to walk in the opposite direction of her.

“Sunghoon! I can’t walk home by myself in the middle of the night! I’ll get chopped up by some weirdo or something!”

“I’m afraid that’s not my problem,” he said, not turning meeting her face. “And by the way, I want you outta here in the next two minutes or else I’m calling the police!”

Kazuha gave Sunghoon the bird, walking the walk of shame as she left his party alone, dressed as the slutty devil he had made her feel like.

9:40pm

Kazuha took short strides as she walked along the concrete sidewalk, trying to get back home before her legs gave out. On the way, she found a random stick lying on a neighborhood lawn. She decided to keep it with her as a weapon, just in case she needed to defend herself.

Ring. Ring.

She answered her phone without looking.

“Kazzieeee.”

“Hello? Who’s this?”

“Oh, we know each other very well.”

A lightbulb went off in Kazuha’s head.

“You’re the perv that prank called my friend a few nights ago, right?” She said, subconsciously walking faster, feeling paranoid for some reason, though, she tried to mask it with humor.

“Where are you going?” The voice on the other end asked.

“Home,” she answered for reasons she didn’t understand.

“I can wait for you at the door if you like.”

“I think I’d like it a little bit more if you found some friends instead.”

“Then why are you walking away from me, you rude devil?”

She turned around to check her surroundings, waving the stick weapon at the sight of a stop sign, dim street lights, and suburban houses. She cackled at herself.

“Oh man, you really had me there for a second,” she sighed, turning back around.

“So, are you gonna invite me in or do I have to force my way?”

“Ugh, what’re you talking about now?”

“I'm talking about how much fun it’s gonna be to rip your insides out!"

Kazuha’s eyes bucked in fear. She never expected the caller to threaten her.

“C- call me again, a- and I’ll call the police,” Kazuha warned in a trembling voice.

It’s hard to sound brave when you’re scared for your life.

The unknown caller let out a mocking chuckle, thoroughly amused by her responses.

She lifted the phone to her face.

“HANG UP AND YOU’LL DIE-“

The dial tone filled the stale night air.

Kazuha fished through her mini bag, looking for her AirPod case. She opened the Spotify app on her phone, clicking on her “Chyll Vybe” playlist. Swallowing her anxiety, she hoped that some upbeat music would take her mind off her fear. Something in her told her to warn you about Sunghoon, and she listened, sending you a quick text before power walking down the side walk. She lip-synced to the melody, trying to lift her spirits.

9:49pm

iMessage from ”Kazzie 🦢🩰” — I still don’t trust Sun-Goon. Pls don’t go anywhere near/with him 🙏

Reply: Where r u?

read

9:50pm

Kazuha felt like someone was watching her. That’s when she looked to her side and saw a tall clothed figure with a scanty white mask walking beside her. She flinched, “Oh my God, you scared the hell out of me!”

The person stayed silent.

“I don’t remember seeing you at Sunghoon’s costume part-“ Kazuha lurched forward over nothing, the clothed figure tearing through her flesh with a sharp blade, scraping the bone beneath.

Kazuha groaned at the feeling, gripping the offender’s arm at the profound pain.

The figure pushed her wounded body on the ground, taking the knife out of her abdomen before stabbing her again and again, until her ragged breaths couldn’t keep up with the continuous blood flow. Kazuha whimpered and winced, even after the stabbing had stopped, her abused innards glistening under the soft moonlight. She watched as the psychopath removed her AirPods from her ears before walking away, leaving her dying body on the pavement.

He put her headphones in his own ears before comically mimicking the way Kazuha was ‘power-walking’ earlier. Rihanna’s cover of Same Ol’ Mistakes blared from the white pods, chanting the lyric:

“But you've got your demons and she's got her regrets.”

“What a lovely song to die to,” the killer chimed, skipping off into the distance.

10:11pm

Buzz. Buzz.

Your phone vibrated in your white hand purse. Pulling out your phone, the bright screen revealed a text from an unknown number.

What a wonderful surprise.

You jotted in your password before finally checking the message.

You spun in your seat, searching the crowd behind you. The dancing party lights hindered your vision. You got up from your seat, stepping closer to get a better look. Goosebumps dawned on the surface of your skin at the sight of the hooded figure in a distorted caricature mask, gripping a knife in their right hand. It was a horrific look to say the least.

“Screw you.” You typed angrily on your phone to the unknown number, blocking the contact and putting your phone back away. You just realized how long it’s been since you saw Kaz, so you went out to go and find her.

“You shouldn’t have done that, ____,” you heard a dark voice say from behind you. You ignored it, thinking it was just your paranoia playing tricks on you.

10:16pm

“Why did you leave my side, Kaz? Kazuha?!” You called out in search for your friend. You didn’t entirely believe what the unknown caller said, but you still wanted to make sure she was okay. You made your way upstairs, opening door after door to no avail. Your friend was no where to be found. “Kazuha?! Seriously, if you don’t come out right now, I’m eating the rest of your dried mangoes-”

Crash.

You bumped into a formally dressed party goer, only to realize that it was Sunghoon.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay,” you worried, fixing the damp hairs that framed his pretty face.

“Oh- your hairs wet.”

“Yeah, I was just at the pool.”

“Must’ve been near the hot tub, you look flushed.”

He offered his hand to lift you up.

“Sorry, but have you seen Kazuha anywhere? She texted me something, and now I can’t find her.”

“Oh, she actually left about half an hour ago,” he admitted, still fixing his clothes from the fall.

“Why? Was she okay?”

“Yes, ____, she was perfectly fine. She probably just felt a little awkward and decided to go home.”

You hummed in response. Unlike Kazuha, you trusted Sunghoon for whatever that reason was, so you didn’t spend anymore time talking about your MIA bestie.

“What’re you doing?”

“Texting her good night. Even though she probably won’t see it til the morning,” you chuckle to yourself, eliciting a smile from Sunghoon himself. You have yet to learn his reasons for smiling at some of the things you say, but you had a feeling there was nothing to worry about.

“Who’s that,” he asked pointing to your conversation with the unknown number.

“Just some rando trying to scare me,” you replied, deleting the conversation before putting your phone back in your purse.

“Hmm, I thought you liked scary,” he replied.

You and Sunghoon started to trail back downstairs, ignoring the way his knuckles occasionally brushed against the back of your hand.

“Hey, uh, I know we don’t know each other very well, but I was hoping we could go somewhere a little more private?”

You considered his offer, thinking about how Kazuha abandoned ship when she was the one who hauled you to this silly party to begin with. The night was still young, and you trusted Sunghoon. You wanted to leave with him.

“Yeah, okay. I’m gonna hit up the ladies room first though, and I’ll meet you out front.”

“Wait, Sunghoon,” you called out. “You haven’t had anything to drink tonight, right?”

“Have you?,” was all he asked before flashing a cheeky smirk, displaying his dimples.

“I’ll be waiting for you in my car, alright” he said, giving you a brief hug before heading to the door.

11:24pm

You weren’t entirely sure where Sunghoon was taking you, but you didn’t really care either.

You were too lost in the way he maneuvered the steering wheel with one hand, captivated by the prominent veins that traced his delicately long fingers.

After some time, Sunghoon pulled the shiny black vehicle into the driveway of a log cabin, hidden within the depths of the forest. The bright car headlights glazed the surface of a rectangular sign hanging above the front door, revealing the words "Park Lodge" carved into the wooden slab.

Sunghoon put the car in park, ceasing the calming sound of the air conditioner. His eyes were still trained on the view behind the windshield.

“So," you began, breaking the silence. "How many girls have you taken here before,” you teased, giving him a curious look.

“None, actually, other than my little sister.”

Peering out the car window, you took in all the trees and wildlife that made up your surroundings. It finally hit you that you were in the middle of nowhere with a guy you had known for less than 24 hours. Oh, if Kazuha could see you now.

“Do you own this place?”

“Yup. My grandfather had it built from the ground up when he was around my age. Now, it belongs to me,” he smiled, trying to mask his pride.

You both exited the vehicle, Sunghoon locking the doors behind you. The sounds of crickets and restless owls greeted your ears. He had shared so much of his belongings with you so far that it almost made you feel guilty.

“I hope I’m not giving off the impression that I’m using you,” you mumbled shyly under your breath, walking closely beside him.

“____, you’re exactly what I need in my life right now. If anything, I’m the one using you.”

Something about his comment made you feel uneasy, but you tried to brush it off. He unlocked the front door, letting you step in before him. Upon entering, the space was dimly lit, with wooden accents trimming each corner. An antique chandelier was the source of the faint light, drawing your attention to the artistic etchings that covered the ceiling. This place was truly a gem.

“You looked really beautiful tonight, by the way,” Sunghoon admitted, interrupting your gawking.

“Shut up,” you bashfully rejected his compliment, feeling a sudden heat rush to your face.

“What? I’m serious.”

“And I’m way too tipsy to think rationally right now.”

“Yeah? And what is it that you’re thinking, then? Honestly?”

You waited before answering him.

“That if you knew just half of what I’ve done in the past, you probably wouldn’t even be talking to me right now.”

He took your hand in his, turning you to face him.

“So stop talking.”

“What?”

“Follow me,” he said, beelining you to another room.

A bedroom.

He flicked one of the light switches before sitting you beside him on the bed. He held intense eye contact with you before speaking.

“I’m not oblivious, ____. You may be a nice girl, but I can tell you have a naughty side, too.”

The thought of you and Kazuha’s shopping adventure reminisced in the back of your mind. Promiscuity came so naturally for her, but for you, it wasn't as easy.

“Trust me, there isn’t a naughty nerve in my body.”

“Not yet, maybe. It just needs to be stimulated, first.”

The word ‘stimulated’ hung in the air for a moment.

“Sunghoon, what are you getting at here-“

You gasped as he stopped you mid sentence, caging you beneath his large frame on the bed.

“Maybe we could start with some on top of the clothes stuff, yeah?”

“Sunghoon, this is a little fast-“

“I really need this from you tonight, okay? Just, please. Let me explore you.”

The desperate look in his eyes softened your heart, sending a sensation of numbness through your limbs. It was hard to process that all of this was actually happening right now. A little voice in your head urged you to let go of the nerves and simply let him. As lust and desire intoxicated your senses, you accepted the fact that you were more than fine with this. More than ready for wherever this night with Sunghoon would take you.

“Okay,” you answered.

“Yeah," he asked in excited disbelief.

“Yes,” you reassured him, nodding.

“Explore me.”

That was the green light Sunghoon had been waiting for, pressing a soft kiss to your lips that quickly escalated into a heated tongue fight. He gently grazed his teeth against your neck, nibbling at the sensitive spot beneath your ear. He snaked a hand between your legs, only for his touch to be hindered by the corseted bodysuit of your angel costume. “May I,” he whispered against your skin, sending a shiver down you spine as his fingers drew circles atop the fabric. You could only nod in response, too pleasure drunk to come up with any words. Tossing the outfit across the room, Sunghoon dipped his fingers into the growing wetness at your core.

“Much better,” he grinned, sliding his fingers up and down past your folds. You reached out to tug at his button up shirt, aching to feel his bare skin against yours. He caught on to your desires pretty quickly, stripping himself before you. You stared in awe at his toned body, sinful thoughts of him flooding your brain. He looked down at your vulnerable figure, smirking to himself.

“Both our clothes are off. You can stop teasing me now,” you said, causing him to chuckle.

“What’re you suggesting I do to you, then,” he questioned, inching closer before meeting you on the bed again.

You felt yourself squeeze around nothing.

“I want you. All of you.”

That’s all it took and Sunghoon was already diving back into your lips, lewd sounds bouncing off the bedroom’s walls. You busied yourself with unzipping his pants, palming the bulge that hid behind his boxers.

“Fuck,” he swore under his breath, pulling his bottoms down the rest of the way, granting you access to stroke his shaft a few times before aligning his tip with your entrance. He pushed himself past your tightness, not giving you any time to adjust to his size before rutting his hips against you, groaning at the intense pleasure you gave him.

➠ saturday

5:04am

Last nights sleep was still fresh on your face, adding a weight to your eyelids that you didn’t care to fight just yet. You were laying flat on your back once you felt a different weight sit atop your hips in a still straddle. Eyes still closed, you knew the pressure came from Sunghoon once the scent of his rosy cologne hit your nostrils. You shut your sleepy eyes tighter as he grazed something sharp across the length of your neck before leaning down to kiss the spot softly, his eyelashes fluttering against your skin. He traced the sharp object across the stature of your collarbone and the valley between your chest, tracing another straight line down your stomach to your navel.

Poke.

The sharpness barely pierced you before your eyes shot open at the sting. A shirtless Sunghoon sat on your lap with a large knife in his right hand, the fresh blood from your stomach coating it’s tip. You weren’t naked, but you were only wearing his oversized white poplin shirt from the night before, now stained with a few drops of ruby red. Looking around, you noticed countless stab impressions on the mattress.

Sunghoon must’ve violently stabbed a circle around your head while you slept, loose cotton and feathers covering the messy bedspread.

He looked up from his ministrations and saw that you were awake. You wanted to scream for your life, even though you knew no one would hear you.

“SUNGHOON-,” you tried, but he covered your mouth with his free hand, a sent of iron lingering in your nose.

“Don’t you think it’s a little early to be screaming? The trees might think I’m abusing you in here!”

You rustled under his palm before biting his hand, eliciting a groan from his throat.

“What the fuck is this, huh,” you asked, trying to get up from under him. He wrestled with your arms, pining your wrists to the bed.

“I commend your bravery, but try some shit like that again and I’ll finish cutting you open.”

His eyes were dark, void of any moral conscience. He brought the knife up to your neck, toying with the ripples that made up your anxious throat. “You deserve this for what you did to her, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun with you first.” He smirked at whatever perverse thoughts ran through his mind. Your breathing became ragged, as the urge to cry grew in your chest.

“Aww, we’ve got a crier,” Sunghoon teased, pouting back at you.

“K-Kaz, sh-she, she tried to warn me.”

“A- an- and you probably sh- should’ve listened,” he replied, mocking the way you stuttered. “I still would’ve caught your ass later, anyways.”

“You fucking killed her!”

“Oh, please. That bitch had the mouth of a viper, someone was gonna put her in her place eventually.”

“You’re insane!”

“I’m also self aware.”

The tears were becoming too much for your eyes to hold back, as thick streams poured from your eyelids, dampening your supple cheeks.

“You took my virginity because of your dead sister?” You yelled again in utter disgust.

“Oh, don’t act like you didn’t fucking enjoy it.”

You spat in his eye.

“You missed my mouth, princess,” he said in a low voice before wiping the spit off of his face, smearing it against your chest.

“You’re into this, huh? Look how hard your nipples have gotten.”

He put his sweaty forehead against yours, planting a tender kiss to your lips that for some reason, you didn’t reject.

“You know, I did enjoy exploring you last night.”

He kissed you again, pushing his hot tongue past your lips, dancing with yours.

“I enjoyed our taste”

He kissed your neck, gripping your throat until your vision went blurry.

“I enjoyed your scent.”

He grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled it like horse reins, causing a choked moan to erupt from you mouth.

“I enjoyed the pretty sounds you made for me.”

He glided his digits between your wet folds, dipping his delicate fingers into your entrance.

“Sunghoon!”

“I enjoyed the way you cried out my name as you clenched around my fingers,” he slithered seductively.

“Fuck, get off of me!”

He was in the middle of admiring your tits when he looked up to meet your rage-ridden eyes, his own face a flushed hue from the heat engulfing your sweaty bodies. He sighed in disappointment.

“You’re a real pain in the ass, you know that?”

“Ugh,” you squirmed, fighting your hardest to escape his grasp.

“How long do you think your weak little body can take my insatiable urges to torture you before it finally gives out? Huh? Making you suffer will bring all the more fulfillment to my life.”

“God, Sunghoon, I don’t care anymore! Kill me! We’ll burn in hell together, I guess!”

“Jeez, would you quit pretending like you want to die? You’re taking all the fun out of it,” he said, rolling his eyes.

The sounds of your choked sobs filled the room’s miserable air.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” you sniffled beneath him.

“Here,” he offered, throwing the knife across the room, causing you to jump at nothing, “allow me to clear it up for you. When I care about someone, I don’t let anyone fucking touch them. Yet, you and your friends managed to hurt her without even doing so.”

“We didn’t know she would take it that far, Sunghoon,” you pleaded in between sobs.

“I didn’t know that my sister would be taken away from me by a bunch of mindless teenage sluts with big and dirty dick sucking mouths! Life’s unfair!”

“Fuck you,” you retorted, feeling lightheaded from all of your screaming and crying. He snickered to himself, presumably finding amusement in how pathetic you sounded. Combing his hair back with a clawed hand, he peered down, looking into your eyes.

“I’ve had just about enough of your talking, princess,” he said, reaching for a towel to shove in your mouth.

Only muffled screams filled the room from there.

He would never admit that it was his own vanity keeping you alive. He’d call it mercy, when deep down, it was his twisted craving for your touch that stopped him from going all the way during torture sessions. Your life had been reduced to its lowest, never to see the mere light of day again. He kept you in an underground basement, lined with bricks and mortar to ensure that you’d never escape his sadistic dictation. Everyday behind those walls felt like an eternity of ‘toy versus toddler tantrum’s.’ If only you knew that a simple mistake you made in high school would be the very wrecking ball to sabotage your entire life.

❅ Thank you for reading @chlorinecake ‘s “Blood On Ice.” Make sure to check out more fun reads on my enhypen bookshelf!

❅ Special thanks to @ashgonedash for requesting this creative piece and @fanficfactoryfoxxx for curing my writers block!!! 🎂

✎ ᴀ/ɴ: in no way, shape, or form does this fanfic intend to romanticize unhealthy relationships or abusive behaviors. i simply write for entertainment and creative purposes. thus, reader discretion is always advised.

!¡update: BLOOD ON ICE part TWO coming SOON, introducing more direct yandere themes and plot exploration!! stay tuned 🎧

[l44serbeam]

hello, can i request college! ellie simping over oblivious reader 💝

eee i lov writing simp ellie shes such a munch

— ALL FOR YOU 𖤐 𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings — some good ol’ homosexual pining and loser lesbian syndrome, cursing, drinking, smoking, some fratty guy being creepy, sooome jealousy

For the past few years, Ellies followed y/n around like a lost puppy, accompanying her to all the parties, events, and get togethers. The two are attached at the hip, but lately somethings been eating away at Ellie and she just cant seem to let it go.

“Ellie. Im not gonna fucking smell it.” Y/n laughed as she swatted away the jar Ellie aggressively shoved at her face.

“C’mon y/n. If i had to suffer so do you.” Ellie menacingly cackled, her hand following y/ns nose as she attempted to dodge the scent of the four month old jar of moldy tomato sauce Ellie had grabbed from the fridge and instinctively took a strong whiff of.

“You’re distracting me.” Y/n whined as Ellie threw the jar in the trash and plopped onto the seat next to y/ns on her 2 chair dining table.

“You’ve been doing that shit since you got here this morning. Im feeling quite neglected and unwanted in my own home.” Ellie huffed, crossing her arms.

“I have two pages left, fifteen minutes at most. Then we can do whatever, I swear.” Y/n finalized, biting her lip as she scribbled on the bright yellow paper.

Ellie watched her work, eyebrows permanently scrunched and lips a gelatinous red from her chewing. The way she shifted uncomfortably in the seat as her lower back ached and would quietly huff whenever a question got too complicated.

In the past few years of their friendship, this had become a sort of ritual. Y/n would show up at Ellies house a good 15 minutes within Ellie waking up and shed study on Ellies table and Ellie would sit with her and watch her.

Well the last part of the ritual Ellie didn’t exactly want y/n to know about, but she couldn’t help herself. How could she not stare when she looked so sanctified, in her barest form, wearing her most comfortable clothes and her hair still not tamed from slumber.

It almost felt domestic. At least thats what Ellie thought. Shed order breakfast and they’d eat together is silence as y/n played out loud lecture recordings as they ate to not fall behind and Ellie would occasionally pretend to listen, but end up distracting y/n and laughing throughout, making her have to rewind and get back into the lesson.

Pretty much everything about y/ns and Ellies relationship was domestic, the two constantly together even at the most uneventful and peaceful moments.

They’d met the summer after their senior year, both attending a party near their new campus a month before the start of their college years.

In all honesty, when Dina had first introduced y/n to Ellie and they first exchanged greetings, shed set her mind on sparking a casual hook up and then forgetting about her, but how could she do that when after an hour the two were sat on the curb outside the party, nursing a joint and laughing maniacally at each others jokes with the haze of the alcohol. How could she just fuck y/n and leave when in the two hours they were sat on that curbside, she rambled endlessly about her personal ideologies and opinions, painfully pretty, passionate and giggly

That was one of the first things Ellie picked up within their conversations. Y/n was surprisingly intelligent and beautifully put together, made up of thoughts and theories that constantly molded her mind, making her practically impossible to figure out. She was complicated and beautiful and Ellie couldn’t help but feel a sense of adoration paint her chest.

The next years to come, Ellie and y/n were attached at the hip. They went to parties together, left together, ate together, studied together. All of it. And through all of it all Ellie could feel was warmth wrapping around her and a lightheaded buzz of euphoria. But even then, Ellie was convinced all y/n experienced was oblivion.

It wasn’t like Ellie hadn’t thrown hints or made it obvious that she yearned of her, but y/n had a tendency to not realize the things that were right in front of her. So, Ellie decided it’d be for the best if she just waits for her feelings to subside and not let anything change.

Ellie felt the buzz of her phone on her lap and flipped it over to see a message from Dina.

ELLIEEEEE ik ur with y/n ask her if u two r coming to jesses tonite

first of all how do you KNOW im with y/n 🤨🤨 and second.. she said yes

you two are practically a married couple ofc ur with her

Ellie chuckled at Dinas statement, making her cheeks redden in the slightest (not that shed ever admit it).

be at jesses at 7 or you will face ur doom mwahahahhahaha

Ellie lifts up her phone and faces the screen towards y/n. “I think she lost it.” Ellie laughed.

Y/n laughed at the message and Ellies comment. “Noo, she lost it a good four years ago.”

Y/n suddenly slammed her textbook shut and threw her pencil onto the table. “Im DONE.”

“Jesus, finally.” Ellie said. “Im gonna get ready i can drive you to your place so you can get ready and we can go kill time till 7 then off to Jesses.”

“Alrighty ill pack my shit up.”

“Look its my favorites!” Dina yelled out as she practically launched from Jesses couch and ran over to the two, pulling them both into a hug. The scent of alcohol and weed radiated from her, exciting y/n for the night.

Getting drunk and high with her best friends was one of y/n’s favorite things to do, all of them losing any sense of dignity or embarrassment and just letting loose with one another.

Y/n spotted a few unfamiliar faces littering Jesses apartment, red cups at hand and smoke clouding the home.

“Lets go get you started off. Im feeling quite lonely at my level.” Dina laughed, grabbing y/ns hand. Y/n looked back at Ellie and stretched out her purse to her which she responded to with a nod, grabbing the purse and beginning to back away towards Jesse.

“Cant believe you didnt wait for me.” Y/n said in a dramatically offended manner. Dina rolled her eyes, pulling y/n forward.

“I love you y/n, but its not my fault if you took forty thousand years to get here.”

When they reached the kitchen, a counter had a display of multiple bottles and differently tinted alcohol bottles and chasers.

Dina grabbed a bottle of tequila and two cups, pouring a double shot in each and handing one to y/n.

“God this shit can kill a grown man.” Y/n groaned at the intense scent of the alcohol wafting from the cup.

“C’mon.” Dina said, tapping her cup at the table and bringing it up to her lips, y/n following suit. The two gulped down the shots, both immediately reaching for the bottle of sprite as a chaser.

“Oh jesus.” Y/n coughed, her face sourly contorted. She shook her head quickly to shake it off and recover.

She grabbed two cups and poured some hawaiian punch that was on the counter, pouring some of the tequila on top. She made sure to pour one of them heavy handedly with the alcohol. “Im gonna go take Ellie a drink.” She told Dina.

“Ill be waiting for you on the dance floor.” She excitedly yelled before rushing off to the area next to the kitchen where the majority of swaying bodies danced to the loud music.

“Youre actually an idiot Williams. Like not in a joking haha funny way but you are genuinely dumb.” Jesse laughed, Ellie rolling her eyes and slumping back on the couch, her legs spread widely and arms defensively folded in front of her chest.

“Shut up Jesse. The only reason you and Dina got together was cause you don’t know how to take a hint and started talking about her to me on facetime and you didn’t know she was next to me. Not because of your unwieldy intelligence.” Ellie retorted, Jesse playfully punching her shoulder.

“You’re just mad dude. I think you’d loosen up if you juts fucking told her how you felt. You’re getting quite tense.” He finalized with a whisper as they watched a cheerful y/n making her way over with two cups in hand.

“Hello there.” Y/n said, stretching out the O as she plopped down on Ellies lap, handing her the drink that had more alcohol.

“Greetings.” Ellie said slickly, grabbing the drink from y/ns hand and smirking at her pinkened cheeks and already loose demeanor. She found her hand instinctively flattening on the lower part of y/ns back and bringing the drink to her lips, eyes squinting at the burning flavor masked by the slightest bit of fruit.

Jesse eyed the two and laughed to himself, shaking his head. Ellie looked at him and gave him a indicative look that read shut the fuck up.

“Where’d Dina go?” He asked y/n, taking in Ellies look.

“She went to go dance. Im gonna join her in a sec.” She responded, taking a swing out her cup.

Ellie reached into the pocket of her loose black denim button up and pulled out a tin. Y/n immediately recognized it as the tin Ellie kept her joints in. According to her it was the perfect place to keep them cause they stayed fresh longer.

She brought the joint up and pinched it between her lips, then searching through her pockets but not seeming to find what she was looking for.

“Got a light?” She asked through lips.

Y/n nodded and reaching to her purse that was in between Ellies thigh and the corner of the couch. She pulled out the lighter and brought it to the tip of the joint at Ellies lips, Ellie silently taken aback when she expected her to have just handed it to her.

When the smoke bloomed from the lit end, Ellie took a lengthy drag that further lit the cherry.

She grabbed it from her lips and handed the joint to y/n, letting her take as much she wanted before getting up and going to Dina.

Ellie watched y/n under the dimly lit lamp next to them on the night table, being one of the few sources of light. She looked peaceful, looking ahead at the crowd of people quietly with a hidden grin and swaying to the music. Her lips delicately wrapping around the joint and the lip gloss she insisted on applying right as Ellie parked her car and making her wait glimmered against the light.

Suddenly, y/n turned her head and her eyes caught Ellies, catching her in her tracks. She separated the joint from her lips and smiled.

“What?” She laughed at Ellies stagnant gaze.

Ellie laughed lightly. “Nothing. You just look happy.” She dismissed.

“Of course i am. Fucking studying shits been kicking my ass, i was dying to get out.” She said, not reading further into the look on Ellies eye as she watched her.

“Alright, im goin’ in.” Y/n said, patting Ellies leg and handing her the joint as she stood up.

“Have fun.” Ellie said, leaning back again and fixing herself on the couch.

Jesse leaned back once again, his lousy conversation with a guy who stopped by them as Ellie and y/n spoke ending, but that didnt mean her didnt hear the entire conversation between her and y/n.

He looked at her and laughed. “Youre a fool Ellie. A fool.” He said, Ellie groaning and planting her hands on her face, trying to cover the slight laughter that escaped.

“Y/N!” Dina called, seeing y/n search for her closer to the edge of the crowd. At her name, y/n beamed and pushed towards her. “Thought you were never gonna make it!” She yelled in y/ns ear slightly louder than necessary.

“Ellie sparked up.” Y/n said back.

“So you weren’t dancing with me cause your were blue balling Ellie?” Dina laughed and said in a sarcastically offended manner.

“Shut the fuck up.” Y/n said firmly, but playfulness playing at her tone.

“Oh how you torture that poor girl.” Dina laughed.

“Stop i do not.” Y/n huffed. “We’re best friends Dina. She doesn’t see me like that.”

Dina sighed and twirled around to the music. “You’re so oblivious.”

“She would never.” Y/n stated in a stonier tone.

“But would you.” Dina asked sharply, raising her eyebrows knowingly and crossing her arms.

Y/n rolled her eyes but remained silent.

“Whatever dummy. Forget about that.” Dina said, grabbing y/ns hands and urging her to start dancing with her which she slowly caved into, losing herself in the beat of the music.

The two jumped and swayed, only stopping to gulp down a portion of the drinks in their hand and keep dancing.

Y/n felt a pair of hands wrap around her waist, the persons body pressing into her back and the scent of heavy liquor and pungent cologne invading her senses.

When Dine turned towards y/n and saw the man behind her, her face contorted as she made confused eye contact with y/n.

Y/n turned around and gently put her hands on the mans chest, softly pushing him away as she backed up.

“Sorry im not interested.” She yelled over the music.

“What were just dancing!” The man said back, still stepping towards her. “Pretty thing like you shouldn’t be dancing alone baby.”

Y/ns and Dinas faces both painted with disgust, y/ns push becoming slightly harder.

“Thank you, but no thank you.” She insisted, this time turning around the push out the crowd.

Behind her the man followed, keeping track of her through the people and still trailing behind her as she walked toward the kitchen.

“C’mon. Whats your deal.” He said as she stopped at the drink counter and started making another drink, not paying attention to the guy. “Don’t be a bitch.” He said, grabbing the back of her hips and pressing against her backside. She quickly grabbed his wrist and turned to aggressively push him off and in all probability, probably punch him square in the face, but before she could do that a hand gripped his shoulder and he was harshly pulled off of her, stumbling back.

“Shes obviously not into you dude. Fucks wrong with you.” Ellie said, getting frighteningly close to his face, chests touching. Ellie was practically the same height as him if not taller, by this time her jacket off, revealing her built arms from her black wife beater.

It seemed like a fight he did not want to pick, putting his hands up and backing away with a shit eating grin. “Alright, definitely mot worth it.” He said, walking away and out of the kitchen. The few people that lingered around there looked at y/n, one or two asking if she was ok.

When everyone cleared out and went about with their business Ellie looked at y/n, her hand brushing her forearm. “You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah i am, just got me a little nervous.” Y/n wearily laughed as she spoke, turning back around and finishing pouring the alcohol in her drink with shaky hands.

“Careful there.” Ellie said, her hand pulling down the end of the bottle for y/n to stop pouring seeing how much she was putting in.

“Im good Ellie.” Y/n said in a firmer manner, looking back at her.

“I know.” She softly responded. “Cmon, lets go to the couch.”

“Im gonna use the bathroom really quickly then ill meet you there.”

“Need me to wait for you?”

“No its ok, go make sure no one takes your spot.”

Ellie nodded and walked back to the couch, Y/n finding the vacant bathroom and locking herself in it. She set down her cup on the counter and turned on the water, splashing some of it on her neck to combat the heat that seated to be radiating from her body. She looked in the mirror and took a breath, recomposing herself.

“Alright.” She said to herself, swinging open the door again and walking towards the sofa. When the made it into the living room, the first thing she spotted was Ellie in her spot at the couch, and next to her a pretty blonde girl with big round eyes looking up at her, a smile on her lips.

Y/n stopped in her place and watched as Ellie seemed to explain something to her, her hands moving and making signals and the girl eagerly nodding along.

Something shot up y/ns spine in that moment and she considered just walking up to them and taking a seat on her usual spot (that being Ellies lap) but her words to Dina rung.

She just sees me as a best friend. She sees her as someone to be with.

With that thought ringing through her head she turned towards the balcony door besides her, stepping out and being hit by the cool breeze.

A man ashed his cigarette and y/n asked if she could bum one off of him, to which he said yes and gave her one then exited, leaving her alone.

She lit the cigarette with a random lighter from the chair and drew from it.

Her drunkenness had taken a turn with the sighting, going from a jolly and joyful to sad and sulky. Its not like she felt like Ellie had any obligations to her or the other way around, but that didn’t stop y/n from feeling a sharp tiny stab to her gut.

There was a knock on the glass door of the balcony causing y/n to whip back around. A tall girl stood at the glass waving at y/n almost as a warning that she was coming out.

“Hey sorry to bother you. Mind if i smoke out here?” The girl asked.

“No not at all.” Y/n said turning back towards the view and taking another hit of the cigarette.

“I know you.” That girl said in a recognizing tone as she pulled out her own cigarette. “We have Microbiology iolgoy together. You sit next to, whats her name?”

Y/n laughed lightly. “Yeah, a friend of mine, Leah.”

“Yeaah.” The mystery girl responded.

“Whats your name?” Y/n asked but before the girl could answer, the glass sliding door of the balcony swung open.

“Y/n i was fucking worried about you.” Ellie said sharply, eyeing the girl that stood besides her hastily. “Sorry im gonna have to take her.” She said as she grabbed her arm and began pulling her, not a drop of genuine apology in her voice.

“Ellie what the hell. She was nice i was having a conversa-”

“You had me scared y/n. I mean what the fuck you said you would be there i a minute and almost twenty go by and no ones seen you. You don’t even know her and you were practically on her.” She said, not making eye contact. Y/n shook her arm out of Ellies grasp, making both of them stop in the empty hallway.

“And you didn’t know that girl but that didn’t stop you from go for her. You can have flirt with people and get with girls but i cant?”

“What girl y/n? What are you talking about?” Ellie questioned harshly.

“From the couch Ellie. You were going for her and i didnt want to barge in. You were obviously into her.”

Ellie scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. At the realization the tense muscles of her face softened, but were still written with gentle confusion. “The blonde on? I wasnt- why would i be into her?”

“Because shes pretty and obviously ready to suck you off right then and there so what else.” Y/n shrugged, annoyance building onto her tone.

A chill ran up her spine at the sight of how Ellies face shifted at her statement.

“You’re really are fucking obvious are you?” Ellie huffed.

“About what Ellie?” Y/n desperately asked, Ellies lips pressing together.

“Im not doing this here. Grab your shit, im dropping you off at your house.” She said demandingly, y/n cursing at herself when her legs didn’t even waiver a second before speeding towards her purse to collect her things.

The car rang with the low tones of the gentle rock music that played from Ellies playlist. Other from that and the sound of the road rolling against the tires there was no noise within the car.

Y/n sat looking out the window, occasionally looking over at Ellies tense figure besides her.

Question hung heavily in the air and unspoken words riddled y/ns tongue. In the past 10 minutes of the car ride, y/n had repeatedly gained the confidence to strike up conversation but allowing her anxiousness eat away at it and retaliate.

Ellie suddenly turned and parked in front of the entrance to the apartment building which y/n lived at. She put the car in park and turned towards y/n her hand placing itself onto the back of y/ns seat.

“You really dont see it y/n?” Ellie said, speaking her first words in the entire car ride.

“See what Ellie? You keep talking about this it like i know what thats supposed to be.”

“It is whats right in front of you y/n! Me! The way i feel about you and the way you make me feel. I’ve tried so many times y/n i mean so many times to show you or hint to you that i like you more than what we say we are to each other.”

Y/n couldnt help but let her jaw slack, her lips parting open in surprise at Ellies words. Ellie hissed and rubbed her hands against her face, groaning.

“God.” She hissed. “Look y/n. I dont want to lose you. I dont care how youre in my life but i need you in it. If you dont feel the same way we can go on and forget tonight happened.”

Ellies shoulder slumped at the sound of giggles escaping y/ns throats, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

“I dont think laughing is what i was expecting.” Ellie said.

“No no no, im not laughing at you. Im laughing cause Dina was fucking right.”

That response didnt exactly ease Ellies nerves, almost taking offense to it. These feelings were quickly eased at the sight of y/n spring out of her seat and the feeling of her lips searing into hers.

A wave of euphoria rushed through Ellie at the feeling of y/n. On her. Her hands on Ellies neck and on her knees as she bent over the arm rest.

It was as if the kiss almost spoke hundreds of words of exchange that neither of them had said. Their lips moved against one another, clutching onto a string of reality.

The two separated to breath desperate breaths of air, their foreheads against one another and noses brushing against each other.

“I think i let how much i like you and how much i dont want to ruin us not let me see the obvious.” Y/n said barely above a whisper, Ellies lip curling into a smile.

“You’re so stubborn.” Ellie responded, leaning back and brushing her thumb across the apple of y/ns cheek. “Its almost three im the morning and you have class at nine, get yourself to bed.” She said even though those very words caused her so much dread.

Y/n groaned but couldnt contain the sheepish smile on her face. “Alright. Ill be at your place by 11. That ok?” Y/n asked almost nervously.

Ellie leaned forward and kissed y/ns lips once again. “Whats expecting anything different. Im not done with you.” She smirked, making y/n blush.

“Ill see you tomorrow.” Y/n said as she opened the car door.

“Text me when your upstairs.” Ellie said before y/n closed the door, her response being a thumbs up and happy wave before running into the lobby.

Ellie drove all the way back to her apartment with a cheesy smile on her face and her hands excitedly tapping the steering wheel to the drumming of the music she played lauder than before.

Just wait till Jesse hears this.

a/n — heres a lil fic for you guys just to keep u fed <<3 love yall and i hope your having a wonderful pride month 😽😽

[axelsagewrites]

Greetings!

I hope you don't mind me sliding in your ask box! I want to request Ivar x fem!reader, who suffers from a condition named vaginismus.

Vaginismus is a condition where the vagina cramps so hardly, that penetration is very painful. It can get treated by mental therapy and slowly getting comfortable with sex. It's mostly caused by traumatic events.

I seek for some wholesomeness combined with Ivar. You don't have to focus on any smut part if you'll feel uncomfortable, sole comfort would be enough!

Feel free to decline! Remember to drink enough and have a lovely day! ❤️

Ivar the Boneless*Does It Hurt?

Pairing: Ivar x f!reader

Word count: 1830

Warnings: insecurities, mentions of painful sex, mentions of shitty exes, make out, fingering, f!receiving oral, p in v sex, Ivar wanting to get revenge on the crappy ex, smut 18+

Masterlist Here

Being with Ivar was the best decisions you’d ever made there was only one small issue. You'd never actually *been* with him. its not that you hadn’t had sex before, but it always just seemed to hurt. You’d tried in the past to just push through the pain, usually at the guy’s request, but you were done being in constant pain for someone else’s benefit. Which is partially why the rumours about Ivars’s bedroom mishap didn’t bother you.

You knew it was something he was insecure about and you’d assured him countless times it didn’t bother you. so, one night when you were making out sitting in his lap and you felt something hard pressing into you. You were a bit shocked to say the least. It must have all been nerves but now you were the one who was nervous. It’s not like you didn’t want to do it with Ivar you were just scared.

Ivar’s hand slowly trailed up your leg, stroking over your thigh, till he was squeezing your hip as you moaned into the kiss. You had been with Ivar for a while now, but you had never been *with* him. your hands crept down his shoulders till you were squeezing his muscular arms. Despite the taunts some people liked to make you could feel something hard grinding against your leg.

He broke the kiss but only to trail some down your neck, going between nipping and kissing the sensitive skin. It felt like bliss. His hands slowly began to tug at your skirts, pulling them up so he could feel the soft flesh of your thighs but when you felt him try push them apart you couldn’t help but clamp up, your body going rigid.

Ivar paused his movements, pulling away to face you after a moment, “Is everything okay my love?” he asked. There was a mix of emotions behind his eyes; insecurity, lust but most presently concern.

“I-I,” you began to stutter making Ivar move his hand from your leg to cup your jaw.

He stroked his thumb gently across your skin, “Have you never…?” he asked, voice trailing off.

You took a deep breath before shaking your head, “I have its just,” you said as you sat up in bed, Ivar moving to sit beside you are holding your hand, “It hurts whenever I have before,”

“Hurts how?”

You sighed as you decided you may as well just tell him. the last guy you had told just rolled his eyes and left to find someone else for that night, but Ivar waited patiently as you explained, “Whenever I’ve tried to have sex it just kind of hurts? I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not that I don’t want you,” you said, squeezing his hand, “it just feels like it won’t go in and when it does it just- “

“Hurts?” he said cutting off your rambles, “it’s okay love. We don’t have to- “

“But I want too, I swear I do- “

“I believe you,” he cut you off, moving to hold your face gently. Ivar placed a soft kiss to your lips instantly calming you down, “Is it just when things are going in?” he asked, and you nodded. His eyes moved to scan your frame as his hand moved to rest on your thigh, “We could always try something else,” he said, eyes moving to meet yours with a glint behind them.

You felt your cheeks begin to heat up, “I know men don’t actually like that stuff- “

“What idiot told you that?”

“This guy I used to- “you paused when you saw Ivars’s jaw tense, “It was a long time ago but some of the things he said just kind of stuck with me I guess,”

“Like what?”

You took a deep breath before spilling out, “That guys don’t like that kind of stuff and it was my problem not his. How it was my job to get him off and not the other way around and if I was broken then there were other ways to do that- “

Ivar took your hands tightly in his, making you pause, “No. it is not a job or a chore or anything else. You are not broken. You are just different,” he said, moving one of his hands to rest over your heart, “We both are. That’s what you used to tell me,” he said, his voice low. “You were there for me when no one else was. I want to be there for you. whether we have sex or not and whatever sex is to us. We take it at our pace, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered back, half on the verge of crying as Ivars other hand moved to cup your cheek, pulling you in for a gentle kiss.

Well, it was supposed to be gentle, but you found your lips moving faster and soon you’d moved to straddle his lap as his hands gently squeezed your hips. You could feel his bulge through his trousers and you grinded against it softly making him groan into your mouth.

“Lay on your back,” he mumbled against your lips. you went to speak but he cut you off with a kiss, “trust me,” something about his eyes staring into yours entranced you and soon you were laying down as his lips travelled down your jaw and neck.

You were still in your dress, but his hands soon pulled it up till it was around your waist as he kissed down your collarbones. You felt your body tensed as Ivars’s hand inched closer to your core. “We’ll go slow, okay? tell me if you want me to stop,” he whispered. You nodded quickly and sucked in your breath when you felt his fingers push against your clit.

He moved them in slow circles as his lips sucked at the sensitive skin of your neck. Little moans escaped your lips, and you heard Ivar chuckle when your hips began to buck. You whined when he pulled his fingers away but watched with fixed eyes as he shuffled down your body till his hot breath fanned over your cunt.

Ivar began to kiss your inner thighs, leading a trail up to your core. When his tongue licked up your cunt you couldn’t help but gasp. It soon turned into a moan however when his mouth wrapped around your clit. Your hand quickly found his hair, tugging on it gently which only seemed to spur his movements on as he groaned against your cunt sending shivers down your spine.

You could feel a strange new sensation growing in your stomach. “Please,” you murmured, “Don’t stop,” you began to beg, and Ivar had no intensions of stopping anytime soon. he moved down till you could feel his tongue poking at your hole, easing in so he could gently fuck you with his tongue while his nose rubbed against your clit.

The sensation had you gripping his hair tightly, your hips bucking inadvertently as you grinded gently on his face. Ivar locked his arms around your thighs, stopping you from wiggling away as he continued his merciless assault on your cunt till, he felt your thighs squeezing around his head.

A stream of profanity and his name fell from your lips as you felt yourself crash over the wall. Ivar didn’t move however till he was sure you’d ridden out your peak. When he did pull back his eyes were dark as he moved to kiss your lips hard as you moaned into the kiss.

His fingers trailed up your slit before gently pushing the tip of his finger in, “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered as he pushed further in, curling his finger inside of you making you moan. it hurt a little but not enough to want to stop. You might scream if he stopped as he began to slowly fuck you with one finger before slowly adding another.

His thumb moved to rub circles over your clit, and you could feel another peak quickly approaching, “Ivar?” you mumbled against his lips.

“Yes love?” he asked, pulling away with panting breath.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said, taking him by surprise as his eyes went wide.

He quickly tried to cover up his reaction, “Are you sure?”

“Please don’t make me beg,” you pouted but it just sparked a joy behind his eyes.

“Maybe I’d like it if you did,” he said, pulling his fingers out which made you whine until you saw him pushing his trousers down, releasing his painfully hard cock.

He moved till his tip was lined with your hole when he paused, “Tell me if- “

“I will, I promise,” you said, grabbing his face and making him look you in the eyes, “I trust you,”

His eyes went soft for a moment before he nodded and slowly began to push in. he stopped when he saw you hissing as you adjusted to his size but kept going at your encouragement. “Fuck,” he gasped as he pushed the last bit in, “You feel so good,”

You waited a moment, adjusting to the size before moving your hips. Ivar quickly got the hint and began to set a gentle pace. That was till your legs moved to wrap around his waist and Ivar began fucking you faster, his head resting in the crook of your neck as he moaned your praises in your ear.

His hand moved between your bodies, finding your clit as he rubbed fast circles into your abused nerves. Your hands gripped his shoulders tightly, nails digging into his skin which only made it harder for him not to cum right then and there. But he did his best to hold off. You however felt your second orgasm quickly approaching and soon your cunt began to squeeze around his cock as you hit your peak, mumbling his name over and over as you did.

The sight of it, the feeling, it was too much for Ivar as he gripped onto the bed tightly as he pumped his final few thrusts before spilling inside you. Ivar collapsed on top of you in a panting heap. His head was resting on your chest as you rubbed his back gently. “Did I hurt you?” he mumbled through half closed eyes.

“No Ivar, it was perfect,”

Ivar lifted his head with a soft smile, “No you were perfect,” he moved to lay next to you, pulling his shirt over his head to use to clean you up before you settled into bed to cuddle. It was a perfect silence. Well for a few moments, “Who was he?”

“Who was who?”

“The man you were seeing before,” Ivar said making you turn to look at him.

Your eyes scanned his face, but he could hide his emotions when he wanted to, “Why?” you asked sceptically.

“No reason. Just think we should have a little talk is all,”

Taglist sign up here

General taglist: @strvngestark @headinfantasy @meg-ro @427120lxld @obx-josie18 @ravenmoore14 @tessakate @justtilly @jjkjbhj @clairacassidy @valeskafics @perla434 @selenestar78 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @urfavnoirette @randomstory56 @qardasngan @https-luvvia @im-the-fucking-lunar-prince @bryandechartisasmolbean

Vikings Taglist: @fleureeee @ellabellabus07 @youn-jo @batmandallyboy @retro-baby69 @lenasdmns @thelirofnorthlands @tessakate @hypocritic-trash-baby @ringpopdust @bellroclucky03 @thefirebreather00 @sashadevil766 @eldritch-bunny-teeth @re-per @weasleytwins-41 @daughter-ofthe-forest @dreamspirit666 @sununicorn @vlynccx @goldenheart703

[veryberryjelly]

spring rolls and stocks

jamie tartt x fem!reader

cw : none x

𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

while you definitely enjoyed dressing up for events, the events themselves almost always turned out to be boring.

and the event you had attended with jamie tonight was one of the many boring events you daydreamed through, thinking only of your pyjamas and a thai takeaway when you went home.

unfortunately you were pulled from your wistful daydream by the feeling of jamie's hand on your leg

you had zoned out during a speech being given by the organiser of the event you were currently suffering through.

you turned your attention towards him, a soft smile instinctively taking form on your lips at the sight of jamie.

his responding smile just made your stomach flutter.

" wanna grab some drinks ?" he suggested, and you were glad that you weren't the only one who was clearly bored. it was especially clear since both of your drinks were over half way full.

" absolutely " you replied almost instantly, grabbing your clutch and standing from your chair, jamies hand resting softly on the small of your back as the two of you made your way to the bar at the back of the venue.

you ordered yourself another one of the same drink that was sat on the table, but you would much rather nurse it at the bar than down it at the table and listen to the dud stood on the stage rambling about stocks.

you leant against the bar with a sigh, hearing a soft chuckle come from jamie at your reaction.

" is this really worth it ? 3 hours of this for a couple hundred quid in a bond we don't know how to use ?" you joked, taking your drink the moment it was set down in front of you and taking a swig.

" definitely not " he replied, thanking the bartender and taking a sip of his beer .

you turned your attention towards the front of the venue for a moment when there was a small round of applause, some other boring guy coming onto the stage to continue waffling on about stocks.

you were pulled from the boredom by the feeling of a pair of hands on your waist, causing your entire face to light up.

it lit up even further when you felt jamie's arms wrap around you and his face pressed into the crook of your neck.

" while that bloke was chattin' all i could think about was gettin' you home, gettin' ya out of this dress, and ordering takeaway "

your hands lifted to rest onto of his, practically wrapping yourself around his arms and tilting your head back against his chest.

" that sounds amazing... how long until we can duck out ?" you questioned, knowing he had a bit of a responsibility to be here. you didnt want to get him in trouble because you were bored.

" well, i'm thinking, this guy will be done in two minutes and we can slip out when everyone runs to the bar for refill's " he suggested, causing you to let out a soft laugh.

" perfect " was your simple reply.

the two of you remained stood at the bar, jamie's arms wrapped around your torso while the speech continued for what seemed like forever, but was probably only another 4 minutes.

the minute that everyone started coming towards the bar, the two of you headed for the exit, avoiding many glances your way as you climbed into the passenger seat of jamie's car.

the moment he dropped into his seat, his hand fell to rest on your thigh as he drove away from the venue and towards his house.

when you got in, you both began undressing almost instantly, both in your underwear when you got to his bedroom.

jamie laid on the bed while you stood infront of his mirror, removing your makeup.

" you want pad thai, babe ?" he questioned

" and vegetable spring rolls " you added, tossing your dirty cotton pad into the trash and joining him on the bed, your head resting on his shoulder.

" twenty five minutes " he stated, setting his phone down on the bed next to him, moving his arm to wrap around your shoulders with his head now rested against yours.

" mint " you added, settling into the brief silence between the two of you.

both of your fingers seemed to move on their own accord, jamie dancing down your side, yours drawing mindless shapes on his chest and watching as it rose and fell with every breath he took.

the ring of the doorbell was the thing that broke you both from your moment.

[cinnamonest]

I'm thinking about Childe fuckboy sex pest whiny dramatic little bastard tendencies again. It's haunting my brain and compelling my fingers to type so endure my ramblings

His most infuriating tendency is just being so pushy and self-centered. Very overdramatic and whiny about it too. He's that typical boy who just cannot process there being anything that should take priority above him getting his dick wet.

He does genuinely care about you though. Like, if you get sick or something he understands. Will hold your hair back while you're sick and will get you water and stay by your side and hold you and all.... but once it's over and you're finally feeling less queasy after your multi-hour sickness session, laying there in bed, he sort of snuggles up to you, hard-on pressing into your thigh like "so you're feeling better now right 👉👈"

Or you're exhausted, you have a headache, you're just worn out and he's all "But? :( my dick tho? :(" because God forbid he have to so much as conceptualize going without getting to empty his balls in you for a span of over 12 hours. He will get sad if he can't get his dick wet at a moment's notice. As in, he expects you to just drop everything you're doing.

Which is a pesky thing of its own. You, unfortunately, have this tendency to do things, to perform tasks and activities, which is problematic because these things often get in the way. How, pray tell, is he supposed to get the necessary daily dose of pussy if you're doing things you can't immediately drop? It's literally a matter of his well-being and health?? And yet you say "just a minute" or "let me finish this" as if it's not a dire situation, because you are heartless and/or don't understand what he's going through. So he'll just be sure to stand there moping and looking dejected until you can get to a pausing point of whatever you're doing, so you understand the importance of the matter.

Sometimes it's worse and you are actually committed to some task. Yes you have that huge test you have to study for or that thing you have to do for your work but like... what about him. Where does he fit into that schedule of yours, because you mentioned how you're gonna divide up your hours for the night and not once did you mention taking regular breaks to give him attention and pussy and love. Do you just not care, is that it? You don't love him. You clearly hate him and you want him to suffer. Heartbreaking.

He gives you the standard "you wouldn't understand you're not a guy" speech, that you can't comprehend how strong the urges are, the fact that it is preposterous to expect him to exhibit any self-control when horny or to endure the agony of tfw no pussy. You wouldn't get it, it's literally a need and he can't be expected to function normally without getting to cum. No jerking off won't suffice, he can't go back to that because it's not good enough anymore, he has to cum and it has to be in you or else he will be in an unwell state of health and you will be responsible. This is literally like starving a person to death. Cruel. Barbaric. You would never do this if you really loved him. Would never want someone you really love to suffer like this.

He just lays there flopped on the bed or couch next to you, looking utterly miserable. Occasional dramatic groaning. If you're not paying enough attention he'll shuffle closer and wriggle his way under your arm to rest his head on your lap. Following by more "pay attention to me" groans.

And yes he will try to compare his lack of pussy to whatever objectively much worse ailment you're undergoing. He really does feel bad for you with your chronic pain or period cramps or migraines and all that — BUT, blue balls is equivalent to if not worse than any of those. Difference is you're inflicting this suffering on him. Imagine if he was inflicting your ailment on you, that would be unthinkably cruel right? So logically you should feel bad and pity him and fix the problem.

Why are you looking at him like that. Are you upset? ...You know what would probably make you feel better? Oh, now you look more mad. Why are you picking that thing up like you're about to throw it at him. So mean.

[jellieland]

This is somewhat inspired by some of the fics @theminecraftbee has written.

---

Two figures watch, from a nebulous nowhere, as Scar stands, alone, in the remains of his destroyed shop.

"I'm sorry," he says, mournfully, to no one.

"You Know," says the first figure, "I Really Wasn't Convinced When You Pitched This One."

Scar does not react. He cannot hear them.

"Yes," says the second, with an air of long-suffering patience. "I Do Know. You Were Very Vocal About It."

"...I really wanted to try and make some friends, this time." Scar, simultaneously right in front of them and a great distance away, sighs and looks up at the sky. "Oh, well. Nothing to be done about it now!"

"I Have Come Around To It," says the first.

"Good," says the second. "I Knew You Would."

They watch Scar start to sort through the mess.

"They Forget They Have A Choice," says the first. "It Is Fascinating."

They move on.

The move on to ash.

Skizz and Tango and Bigb stand right in the thick of it, quiet.

"You try to do one nice thing," says Skizz.

His hands curl into fists. He glares at the smoldering remains of the heart in front of him.

"You try to do ONE nice thing!" he yells, and punches one of the last remaining bits of wood.

Brittle from the fire, it breaks.

"Yeah, well! I guess this is why we don't," says Tango, resigned.

"It was always gonna happen eventually," says Bigb, voice level.

"They Always Try," says the first. "They Always Keep Trying."

"Yes," says the second. "They Chase Each Other In Circles Until All Of Them Are Dead. They Give Themselves Their Own Tasks."

"That Is Not What I Meant," says the first. "But That Is Also True."

They watch the three members of the Heart Foundation stand, for a while, in silence.

And they move on.

They move over to the mesa.

Martyn is standing inside his house, that used to be Jimmy's house too, facing the three chests on the wall labelled "TIMMY", "MUMBO" and "MARTYN".

He is talking animatedly, and gesturing. "-and I kept trying to get them to follow me there, but nobody was taking the bait. Honestly, you guys would've laughed at me. But it-"

They let the rambling fade into the background.

"A Good Dog," says the first.

"Yes," says the second. "He Does As He Is Told."

"-and I've honestly been feeling a bit left out today, isn't that funny? But- Bdubs said, he said he would join me next week, so-"

They move on.

They move to the cobblestone castle, in the side of the hill.

Grian is cooing over a small magma cube named Etho's Dishwasher.

Cleo and Etho are leaning against the staircase watching him.

"Are you both alright?" asks Cleo.

"Sure, I'm fine," says Etho.

"Me?" says Grian, turning around. "Oh, I'm good, I was being a total coward. I just hung around at the top of that tower by the Secret Keeper for ages and none of them ever thought to look up."

"Really?" asks Cleo, amused. "Some of them I would expect that of, but I'd think Gem would be a bit more on the ball."

"Well, apparently not," says Grian.

He turns back to the magma cube, and they settle into quiet.

"I Would Have Expected More Of The Alliances To Have Fallen Apart, By Now," says the first.

"Loyalty Is At Its Most Interesting When It Is Stretched," says the second. "These Three Know It Will Never Last. They Know That All Of Them Are Aware Of This. That Is Why They Are Still Here. They Know How Much They Can Care Without It Being A Lie. And Then Privately, They Care More Than That Anyway."

Eventually, Etho sighs. He looks tired.

He glances from Cleo, to Grian, and back, and after a moment of hesitation, speaks. "I, uh. I'm glad you two survived." He shifts awkwardly, and continues before they can respond. "I thought they were going to try and make me kill you, at one point, and- Grian, I don't know if you know this, but Cleo is scary when she's getting revenge. I did not want to have to worry about that."

Cleo laughs, slightly, and gives Etho a look of the deepest affection. "Well, I did die, is the thing, so thanks for reminding me of that."

"No, no, you knew what I meant! See, Grian? See what it's like?"

"Uh huh," says Grian, raising an eyebrow. "Well, thanks for not killing us."

Cleo frowns at him, suddenly curious. "Grian?" they ask. "Are you the only one who didn't die today?"

Grian opens his mouth, then stops to consider it.

"Or- no, wait. Martyn." says Cleo. "Well. Well done either way."

They watch the trio for a little longer, and then they move on.

They move to Scott.

He is alone, in a forest somewhere.

He is leant up against a cliff face, staring down at the floor.

"None Of Them Even Died, This Time," says the first. "Not Permanently."

"No," says the second. "It Was Controlled. Directed. There To Even The Playing Field. We Can Just Ask Them To Do That, Now, And They Will."

Scott draws his knees up to his chest, and rests his head on his arms.

He doesn't move, or shout, or cry.

He just stays there, quiet.

Eventually, they move on.

They move to the Secret Keeper.

Gem is standing there.

She is looking at it.

"If She Had Decided To Fail At The Start," says the first, "She Most Likely Would Have Lived. She Lost So Much More, Taking Things From Other People, Than The Nothing She Would Have Lost In Failure."

"Yes," says the second. "That Is My Favourite Part."

They watch her.

"Anyway," says the second, "She Would Not Do That."

"She Wouldn't?" asks the first.

"No," says the second. "She Understands Why It Is My Favourite Part."

Gem smiles.

"Thank you!" she says to the Secret Keeper. "That was a lot of fun!"

"You Are Welcome," says the second.

Blood on her hands, Gem turns and leaves, grin as bright as the sun.

They watch her go.

[cultleaderyoongi]

With You, All The Way | myg

☆ pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

☆ genre: ex2l, pwp • angst, smut, fluff

☆ word count: 10k (I have no excuse except for I'm frustrated)

☆ warnings: toxic stuff happens, a lot of miscommunication; a lot of making up and making out; some cursing; mentions of alcohol; explicit smut – kinda soft dom!Yoongi, breast/nipple play (he's kinda a boob guy), fingering, eating out, handjob, blowjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (reader is on birth control tho which is mentioned), multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasms, creampie, some praise, some aftercare

☆ synopsis: Break-ups are rough, more so if you and your ex share the same friend circle. How could a simple and supposedly tame night full of fun games change the trajectory of your relationship that is no more?

☆ playlist: Tinashe – Perfect Crime | Alina Baraz – Between Us | Kali Uchis – Moonlight

☆ a/n: Guess who's back after *checking imaginary watch on my wrist* almost a year 💀 Did I whip this out within approximately two weeks? Maybe. This is the fastest I've ever written, so therefore it's sloppily edited – especially towards the end (I'm not a fast writer, ok? I'll come back to edit it soon). Listen, I was super heartbroken about the concert (still am), so my mind conjured up this beast of a delusional, self-indulgent story. Pls think of me when you go see my man live, especially if it's the Newark show tonight 😭

I started off this story with Marie Claire Yoongi in mind, but with the release of D-Day it turned more and more into Haegeum Yoongi, sooo...feel free to imagine whichever version you want. Happy D-Day era to y'all! Lmk what's your favorite track, your favorite look, your favorite whatever. Let's talk and suffer together lol

Enough of my rambling though. I hope you enjoy reading! As always, if you do – thank you and pls lmk what you think ♡

☆ taglist: @main-bangtansmauyeondan @jwlmnbt (I'm really horrible at keeping track of my taglist which is also due to my inconsistent posting, but if you see this and you remember wanting to be on my practically non-existent permanent taglist pls lmk)

© cultleaderyoongi on tumblr | do not repost or translate on any platform

You shouldn't be here.

You really shouldn't.

Whose idea was it to bring everyone together for a night of fun activities and drinks? Whose stupid idea was it to invite you when your least favorite person in the world is going to be present as well? And furthermore, whose stupid idea was it to seat the two of you within clear vision of each other?

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." Your friend Jimin, the host and therefore perpetrator of all this, speaks with a smirk as if to answer your internal monologue, watching your other friend Jungkook pick up eight colorful cards after being hit with two subsequent draw fours.

Laughter goes around the circle as the youngest tries to rearrange the abundance of cards in his hands.

Truth be told, you could've declined. It's not Jimin's fault things went south with you and the man whose glare avoids you as if his life depends on it. Yet you spot glimpses of his feline eyes set on you when he least expects it, catching him off-guard – and suddenly the fluffy, white rug beneath his feet is a lot more interesting to look at.

"Oh Jungkook, you're almost as rich as Taehyung!" Seokjin jokes, drawing your attention back to the group.

Hoseok joins in, accompanied by an animated cackle. "You're giving Taehyung a run for his money."

You muster said boy beside you, his brows furrowed and tongue poking out in focus. He can barely spread out his set of cards without dropping any. Poor Taehyung.

As the game continues and more and more people yell out Uno in relief until a loser is revealed (it's a close and tedious match between Jungkook and Taehyung, but at the end Jungkook pulls through) you pay close attention to the way Yoongi toys with the rings on his fingers. He always does this when he's anxious. His action is incessant, almost obnoxious in your eyes. You don't like being here any less than he does, but at least you try your damn hardest to pull yourself together in front of your friends. They're your friends as well as his. You haven't had the chance to see them as much lately while he gets to see them all the time – they live together, for fuck's sake!

"_____." Jimin's voice pulls you back to reality. "Lend me a hand?"

"Uh yeah, sure." You spring up from your seat, realizing Jimin asks for your help clearing the table.

While he collects the cards strewn across the coffee table, you make move of collecting empty bottles and cans. In your position, you're slightly hunched over the surface which involuntarily causes one thing to happen.

Your suspicion is confirmed when you look up at your ex-boyfriend shamelessly staring at your cleavage. There's a split second where you make direct eye contact once he grasps the situation – and now things are ten times more awkward.

Taking a deep inhale, you place everything on the kitchen island nearby before returning to your seat. You muster Yoongi's stone-cold, almost dead-like expression. To anyone that didn't witness what happened seconds ago, it probably looks like the regular go-to mood for Min Yoongi. But you can catch the tiny movement of teeth nibbling on the inside of his bottom lip. Oh, he's frustrated. You can't quite determine yet if you're proud of this achievement.

Meanwhile, Jimin sets up the next game.

"This doesn't look like a safe game to be around Namjoon-hyung," Jungkook murmurs, inspecting the tower of wooden blocks stacked on top of each other.

"Hey!" Namjoon retorts to the boy, his lips pulled into a slight pout. "I can play Jenga alright. Just you watch."

There are noises of disagreement going around the group, some of the guys sharing anecdotes on things Namjoon has accidentally broken recently.

"There's a little twist, by the way," Jimin informs everyone amidst the commotion. "Each block has an instruction on the bottom. Kinda like truth or dare – but you don't get to choose."

"Oh!" Seokjin claps his hands once in excitement. "Now we're talking."

Of course, leave it to Park Jimin to make an already awkward evening even more awkward by potentially causing ruckus with whatever tasks he gives out to people. Great.

After a match of rock, paper, scissor to determine who starts (which is Namjoon who already almost has the tower topple over by crouching down to the table), the first few turns go by in a breeze. Nothing too out of the ordinary has been requested yet. Taehyung choosing Jimin if he had to pick someone he would date out of the bunch or Jungkook giving Hoseok a lap dance like there's no tomorrow seem like natural occurrences for a Saturday night in this house.

"My turn," you murmur as you bend over until you reach the stack. Carefully, you pick a piece from the lower half, smiling to yourself as it slips out with ease. That smile fades though as soon as it appears when you flip over the block to read out the demand: kiss a person of your choice (on the lips! No less than 10 seconds).

There are multiple Oohs going around the group. Some are of surprised and enthusiastic nature – some stem from a place of concern.

You're rooted in place, your mouth running dry at the idea of... What exactly? There's nothing to be nervous about. Most of the guys (emphasis on most) wouldn't even make such a big deal out of this for your sake. Also, you're not blind. You've got handsome friends for sure. Each and every single one of them. It's the thought of him and the consequences. Whatever that may entail.

"I don't think this is right." Namjoon comes to your rescue, most likely sensing your discomfort.

"Why not?" Taehyung asks in earnest, visibly confused about the elder's remark. "She's a free woman. She's free to do whatever."

"Hyung," Jungkook chimes in, "I know for a fact she's not gonna kiss you. You can stop sucking up to her."

The youngest's savage comment has everyone in a laughing fit – everyone except for Yoongi of course.

Uncertainty takes over your mind, covering it in a thick blanket. It's been three months since the two of you broke up. Are you still hung up on him? Yes. A hundred percent yes. Does the same apply to him? You can't say for sure. He's been eerily quiet the entire evening, almost too quiet for your liking. He could either be hiding his innermost thoughts or he actually doesn't give a single fuck about you anymore.

Once the laughter dies down, the sound of his all too familiar voice has you lifting your eyes from the little troublemaker in your hand.

"He's right," Yoongi points out plainly, referring to Taehyung. "She can do whatever she pleases. I don't care."

As he finishes up with a sip of his whiskey, the room falls silent. Nobody dares so much as even breathe. Everyone exchanges looks between each other ranging from unease to utter shock.

So he really doesn't care.

"Okay." You catch his attention with these two syllables, his eyes never straying from you as you place the wooden piece on top of the tower. Making your way over to his side of the couch, you maintain eye contact throughout. There's a slight twitch noticeable in his eyes, confusion taking over his features. Once in front of him, you bend over before leaning in – only you redirect at the last second, wrapping your arms around Seokjin's neck who's sitting next to him. You give it no second thought, planting your lips onto his in an instant.

Although in tunnel vision, you can still hear the gasps around the room. You didn't think this through, but you have to commit now which is why you slightly intensify the kiss by parting your lips. Your hunched-over position becomes uncomfortable though, causing you to drop down to one knee beside Seokjin's thigh on the cushion.

He welcomes the closer vicinity, holding you by your waist with gentle hands.

Has it been ten seconds yet? You have no idea. You assume Jimin would count down, but he's probably too stupefied like the rest of them. Throwing in the tiniest of tongue action for good measure, you part again rather sooner than later. A clear sheen of lip gloss and saliva covers your friend's plush lips. His ears are flushed almost a hot pink.

Your job here is done.

Clearing your throat, you turn around to no one in particular. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. You can keep playing without me."

And with that, you brush past Yoongi's frozen form, ignoring the whispers going around the room.

You've been warned about the sink in the downstairs bathroom not working (once again, courtesy of Namjoon), so you swiftly climb up the flight of stairs to the upstairs bathroom.

Closing the door behind you, you let out a loud exhale before you make your way over to the sink. You don't have to use the bathroom. You just need a minute to breathe. Or two. Or five.

You look up at your reflection in the mirror, the telltale sign of the kiss written all over your lips. Had you known this is how things are going to pan out, you would've opted for smudge-proof lipstick. Turning on the faucet, you dab some water onto the pad of your finger to wipe at the corners of your mouth.

What have you done?

A knock on the door startles you.

"What?" you ask, wondering who it is.

"Let me in."

The deep, raspy tone coming from the other side of the door draws an annoyed sigh out of you. "I'm peeing," you answer flatly.

"No, you're not."

Another heavier sigh passes your lips this time. He's the last person you want to see right now, but something tells you to give in still. "What do you want?" you bite as you swing open the door with so much power you almost detach it from its hinges.

Yoongi steps over the threshold, closing it behind him with equal force. The impact causes the door handle to rattle. He watches you wander back over to the sink, irritation marking every inch of his face. "What the fuck was that for?" he spits with so much venom it's far from characteristic of him.

"What do you mean 'what the fuck was that for'?" You turn to face the mirror, inspecting yourself again. "I did what was expected of me."

Coming up behind you, your ex-boyfriend shoots daggers at you through the reflection. "Are you fucking kidding me? That was way more than what was expected of you!"

"What's your fucking problem? You made it clear in front of everyone, including me, you don't care. Besides"–with your blood pumping hot through your veins, you spin around looking him dead in the eye–"you wanted this. You ended this." You point back and forth between the two of you. "So you don't get to complain now."

He stares you down with what you can now decipher as hurt and rage. "Don't talk about our relationship like it was just a thing. For fuck's sake, _____! We were together for almost two years." His growing distress shows as he rushes a hand through his pitch-black hair. "You took equal part in the downfall. You took equal part in the decision."

A small scoff comes to the surface. "Are you actually listening to yourself? You sat me down and told me this wasn't gonna work out – not me. You came up with all the excuses you're too busy and your career doesn't allow a stable life when you know very well I've tried everything in my willpower to make things work."

His features contort more into agony. "That's because you were never satisfied with my solutions. Who says you were the only one trying to make things work? Nothing was ever good enough for you. I know I have a busy lifestyle, but things always have to go according to your plan. You immediately shut down whenever I suggest something that's not part of your vision."

You roll your eyes at him, partially in anger but also in a poor attempt at keeping your tears at bay. He's not entirely wrong, you're aware of that. It wasn't easy with him, but you could be equally as stubborn. At the time, the glass was simply too broken to put back together – no matter how hard any of you tried. Maybe you needed the time apart to see clearer.

"These past three months were hell for me," you confess suddenly, dropping your head in shame.

There's a beat of silence following your words. "For me as well," Yoongi finally answers, his voice coming out barely above a whisper.

"How come we're so bad at this?" It's more of a rhetorical question, but you genuinely wonder how you managed to stay together this long.

Another pause settles in before Yoongi speaks up again. "I don't think we're bad at relationships. There are things we need to work on, sure. But these things don't come overnight." After wetting his lips tentatively, he continues, "We're already making big progress by talking about this – even if we wanted to strangle each other seconds ago. If anything, we needed this in order to finally be honest and not hide behind a façade anymore."

Your mind takes you back to that fateful day when you talked each other through the break-up. Things were convoluted as you convinced each other you didn't see any future in being together just to avoid addressing the truth and finding a common denominator. It seemed easier this way, running away from your problems and saving face in the process.

Now look where it led you – the worst outcome possible.

Catching a stray tear rolling down your cheek, you muster up the courage to look at him again. "What do we do now?"

He lets out a low hum at the sight of you, his hand coming up to carefully wipe another tear close to spilling from the corner of your eye. "I don't know. All I know is I don't like this. The distance, the avoidance – the animosity."

"Yeah." You let his words hang heavy in the room. Hard agree on this one. "Neither do I."

"And I certainly don't like seeing you make out with someone else right in front of my face – let alone Jin-hyung at that."

His comment has you chuckling lightly. "To be fair, I didn't enjoy it as much as you'd think."

"You're joking." He breaks out into his signature gummy smirk. "Worldwide Handsome didn't do it for you?"

You shake your head, a small smile forming on your face. "He's not you."

At that, his grin grows even wider, his eyes turning into downturned crescents.

"I'm sorry, by the way." You play with one of the bracelets around your wrist, tugging at the golden chain.

Yoongi reaches for your arm, most likely out of reflex as he notices your hesitation. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too." Dropping his hand, he elaborates, "I overreacted earlier. You're not... We're not­..."

He struggles to finish his thought, but you know exactly what he's trying to say. "Do you want to be?" you drawl, immediately wincing at how desperate you sound. Maybe it's still too early for this.

Your concern dissipates as his eyes light up in an instant. "Of course," he murmurs. "I've always wanted to."

The corners of your lips tug upwards again at that. "I do, too," you follow up though you're sure he already figured.

What a serious turn of events. Who would've thought things were going to work out this way? You could hug the world right now. Hell, you could hug the entire universe.

"Should we..." he starts, a mischievous glint glossing over his irises, "shake hands on this?"

Bursting into laughter, you shake your head at his ridiculous idea. "That's so formal. We're not business partners."

"Fine then."

Your laughter ceases instantly as he takes a few steps forward, slowly backing you into the marble countertop behind you.

"Should we hug it out instead?"

You watch the way his tongue swipes across his bottom lip as you're caged in between his arms, the closeness sending your mind reeling.

"Or do you have something else in mind?"

Swallowing down hard, your focus switches between his lips and the seductive gaze he holds you with. "A hug would be a start,” you croak out.

He sends you a crooked smile before releasing his grip around the corner of the sink, enveloping you with both arms for a tight bear hug, his cheek coming to a rest on your temple.

You welcome his touch, bending your arms that are stuck underneath his to clasp around his shoulders. An abundance of warmth and comfort washes over you, so you bury your face into the crook of his neck to take it all in. Words can't describe how much you missed this – how much you missed him.

The two of you stay like this for a while until Yoongi breaks the silence. "Just to be clear–"

You lift your head to get a proper look at him.

"–I do care. I always have, and I always will."

All trains of thought leave you as you stare at each other, the sincerity in his eyes granting them with a spark you haven't seen yet before. You swear there's a magnetic force involved, that's how strong the urge is when you slowly close the distance pressing your lips onto his.

Bliss overtakes you instantly, the familiar feeling of his lips bringing back all the memories of the past two years. Things were never easy between you, but you want to make it work this time no matter the cost.

Once you pull apart, all you can do is look at each other, completely at a loss for words. You catch the way Yoongi's focus switches back and forth between your eyes though, trailing down to your lips before coming back up where it ultimately stays.

He loosens one of his arms around you, bringing it up to rest his hand on the side of your neck. With his thumb, he rubs soothing circles into your cheek.

You close your eyes at his touch, unfurling an arm from behind his back to curl around his neck instead. The other follows the curve of his spine before enclosing around his waist.

"God..." Yoongi murmurs, his forehead coming to rest against yours. "I missed you so much."

Blinking your eyelids open, you catch the moment his open just a second later. "I missed you, too."

This time it's he who draws you in for a kiss, his hand gently tilting your head to the side to grant him access.

There's always been something super addictive about Yoongi's kisses. From the tingling sensation that infests your entire body starting at the top of your scalp all the way down to the soles of your feet, to the funny feeling in your core that has you weak in the knees and lose all sense of self – you could never get enough.

You're done for when he parts his mouth slightly, the tip of his tongue slipping through the seam of yours. You let out an involuntary moan, seeking solace as you tighten your grip around the cotton fabric of his shirt.

He steps closer causing you to part your legs to make space for him. With your torso bent backward into a small arch, he starts planting kisses along your jawline down your neck.

At this point, you're like wax in his hands. Of course he's more than familiar with your weak spots.

His hold around your waist wanders down to your thigh as he hooks your leg around his hip, gently hoisting you up on the countertop. In a painstakingly slow fashion, his lips flutter across your collarbone before they land above the cups of your bustier top.

You can feel his hand travel further up your thigh, shyly slipping beneath the denim fabric of your skirt. Before he can go any further, you gently grab him by the wrist.

Flustered, the male lifts his face from your cleavage. "Sorry, did I–"

"No," you interrupt him quickly. You don't want him to get the wrong idea. "Not here."

"What–"

Before he can ask any further questions, you climb off the counter, dragging him out of the bathroom down the dark hallway.

The door closes behind you with a silent click before you switch on the light.

You haven't seen this room since the break-up. It looks about the same, maybe a bit messier than you remember. The bed looks like it's been made in a hurry, there are a few more clothes strewn around than you're used to from your ex-boyfriend. You're unsure of the emotions that overcome you. They're something along the lines of guilt, shame – sadness.

In your daydream, you don't notice Yoongi coming to stand in front of you. "I'm sorry it's kinda messy," he apologizes, scratching the back of his head. "I didn't expect company tonight."

You solemnly shake your head. "It's fine. That's not it."

It's silent for a beat until he speaks up again. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

Again, you shake your head. "I do though."

The man musters you sternly as if to read your mind. Then he cracks a small smile. "Okay. Me too."

One wouldn't be able to tell the two of you were engaged in a semi-heated make-out session just a minute ago with the way you're gradually closing the distance between you. But once your arms are slung around his neck again, the passion from before resurfaces in an instant.

His hold around your waist grows more desperate with each passing second, pulling you further into the room along with him until you reach the foot end of his bed. In between hungry kisses, he plops down onto the mattress with a soft thud.

You're still in a mostly upright position, a little bit hunched over with one knee propped up beside his thigh as you continue kissing him. It's comically similar to the scene from the living room – although this time it's with the right man. The realization has you chuckling against his lips.

"What's so funny?" he asks, breaking out into a smirk of his own.

You playfully nibble on his lower lip. "Nothing," you lie. "Just thought about how strange life is sometimes."

A tiny squeal escapes you as Yoongi suddenly drags you down with him, your arms coming out just right on time to cushion the fall. "Life is strange," he agrees. "But I like where it's leading us right now."

The mischief in his tone doesn't go unnoticed by you, so to wipe that smile off his face you lean down stealing another kiss from him. It starts off relatively tame before you try to rile him up ever so slowly, lowering your body until you're straddling his waist. Your tongues are fighting for dominance, but ultimately you have the upper hand in this as you pull away, watching him from above in all his glory. Or so you thought because the second you lay eyes on his fucked-out expression, his parted lips so plump and shiny and his pitch-black hair splayed out on the white comforter you swear you lose all sense of reality. Ethereal is the word that comes to your mind. He's nothing short of ethereal.

"Ah!"

Yoongi takes advantage of the situation while you're lost in your thoughts, flipping you over on your back. "Enjoying the view?" he jokes, his gummy smirk on full display.

You snort. "Maybe."

His lips are on you again immediately, retracing their path from earlier as he places kiss after kiss over the curvature of your chest. "So am I."

You're reduced to whimpers when he sucks love bites into your skin.

Once he pulls away to admire his work, he informs you with a straight face, "You know, I had a really hard time not staring when we were downstairs."

You bite your lip, patiently waiting for the revelation.

"But then you helped clearing the table, and they were practically in my face, so–"

"You missed my tits," you interject with an amused smile.

He chortles. "You make it sound so crude." Tracing the intricate flower embroidery covering your breasts with his finger, he elaborates, "Obviously, I love looking at all of you. Not just your tits."

The way he repeats the word has you burst into laughter.

"Stop laughing at me." His cheeks rise into full globes before his face falls again. "I'm serious, I missed seeing your face. You look really beautiful tonight."

Whatever bullshit you were about to say – it's gone. The way his words leave his lips with such sincerity and his eyes are set on you as if to imprint every single inch of your face in his brain renders you speechless. All you can do is show him that you missed him just as much – if not even more. Pulling him down to you by the nape of his neck, you press your lips together again, eagerly running your hand through the strands on the back of his head. It's gotten a little bit longer ever since you broke up, and admittedly you find it kind of sexy.

"In all seriousness though"–Yoongi mumbles in between kisses–"as beautiful as you look in this, I want if off now." Toying with the strap of your top, he gently glides it over your shoulder until it loses tension.

You comply with no questions asked, propping yourself up on your elbows. Yoongi catches on right away, reaching behind you to pull down the zipper. It always amused you how contradicting he could be, his patient character cracking when it came to intimacy, his soft-spoken nature turning more daring and demanding.

A low hum resonates from him at the sight of your bare breasts, and it doesn't take long until his attention is on them again, his hand cupping one of them while he bends down to take care of the other.

The sudden contact has you moaning out louder than you'd like. As he changes up the motions on your hardened nipple, it's hard to keep it down now. Throwing your head back, you relish the onslaught of suckles and licks, kisses and bites.

He switches sides, granting your other boob the same treatment while still squeezing the prior.

You're a mess, to say the least, the dampness sodding your panties a sure indicator of that.

As if he's living in your head, Yoongi's hand wanders down the expanse of your torso before stopping right under the hemline of your miniskirt. Tugging at the seam, he grumbles, "Take this off, too, baby."

The audacity to throw in the pet name as well – you've never been quicker at undressing up until this point. Your hands are shaky as you're fiddling with the button though, so Yoongi comes to the rescue, unbuttoning it at the speed of light yet the veins raking across his hands have your undivided attention, prolonging the moment to infinity.

He slides down from the bed to the floor, taking the obstructing clothing with him at the same time.

There's something about you being stripped down to your underwear whereas he's still dressed that sends uncontrollable tingles to your core.

While leaving fluttery pecks across your lower abdomen, the male slips a single digit under the fabric covering your crotch. "We haven't even started yet"–he places another peck closer to your pelvic mound–"but you're already so wet, baby."

A snarky response is on the tip of your tongue, something along the lines of it being a given when he's been playing with your boobs like a man possessed, but you swallow it down when he drags his finger over your folds, dipping the tip into your slit.

Your reaction is immediate, the whimper passing your lips drawing a smile onto his. "God, I can't wait to make you cum," he grunts, and with that his fingers hook around the waistband of your panties, removing the last remaining piece of clothing covering you.

Any sort of thought dissipates from your mind as he throws your thighs over his shoulders and his mouth connects with your center, licking up your arousal like it's a sport.

You're no stranger to the things he's capable of with his tongue, but this is no match to the times before. His moves are calculated yet determined, taking you to the brink of an orgasm in record time. There's no use holding back anymore, your hand covering your mouth doing little to nothing hiding your whines.

In between all the licking and sucking, Yoongi retracts for a split second, a wicked grin gracing his features. "Getting close?"

"Mh-hm," you hum out breathlessly. "Please don't stop."

He doesn't need another plea from you, his movements more eager than before as he continues eating you out.

Weaving your hand through his thick locks, you watch him from above. His eyebrows are furrowed as he focuses on your pleasure, his hands around your thighs digging deep into your flesh. This sight alone could have you cumming on the spot, but it's the switch-up from small kitten licks to suckles on your clit with the perfect amount of pressure that drives you over the edge. "I-I'm cumming, fuck!"

He guides you through your release, letting you grind on his face as he runs his hands over your thighs locked around his head in a tight grip. Once you're done riding it out, he presses one last kiss to your quivering core, smirking at the way you squirm over the sensitivity.

"Fuck," you curse again in disbelief. The room around you appears surreal. You watch the ceiling above you to regain consciousness. He essentially mouth-fucked you into oblivion.

A light kiss to your temple brings you back from wherever your mind was catapulted to. Outer space or another dimension. No one really knows for sure.

"Still with me?" Yoongi checks on you, his thumb rubbing tiny circles into the highpoint of your cheek.

You swallow down hard, willing your eyes to focus on his looking back at you. The deep brown of his irises resembles that of the Iced Americanos that he loves so much although warmer and more welcoming than the caffeinated drink. "Y-yeah," you manage out.

"Good." He bends down to peck your lips. "Thought I'd lost you for a second."

You might as well be lost for the rest of eternity. Your hands seek for harbor, digging into the sleeves of his jacket. "Take this off," you mumble, impatiently tugging at the garment.

"Alright." Yoongi chuckles at your cute antics, taking it off instantly.

You're not satisfied yet though, curling your hands around the hem of his shirt, dragging it upward until a sliver of his abdomen shows. "This, too."

He shushes you, grabbing ahold of your wrists. "Baby, you're getting too excited."

With your lips in a pout you protest, "I'm not. I just wanna take care of you, too."

His laughter resonates in your ears. "You're gonna get to take care of me soon enough." You're still pouting, so he comes up with a peace offering. "Here, how about this?" Guiding his hand back down to your heat, he proposes, "Give me another one, and I'll let you do whatever you want with me for a while."

You're spent already, your first orgasm having drained your entire energy. But you're willing to go again if that means getting what you want. Nodding your head, you lean back onto the bed.

"Good girl."

Holy shit.

It takes all your might not to melt into a puddle right then and there, but his working hand doesn't give you enough time to even process his words, his ringed fingers already drawing circles on your swollen bud. You gasp out silently, leaving an imprint on the mattress with how hard you're throwing your head back.

His digits expertly tickle your clit as if you're a key on his piano or a string on his guitar, experimentally dipping them into your heat for precise pumps. You thank the gods but also simultaneously curse the devil for making this man skilled with both his tongue and his hands.

It's not long until you feel the all too familiar knot in your core tighten again, squeezing your walls around his fingers as you feel the cold metal adorning them.

"That's it, baby," he growls. The pad of his thumb works your nub while his ring and index finger drag in and out of you with fast strokes. "Almost there."

You barely manage out anything intelligible other than Yeah and Don't stop. Sweat forms on your skin from your neck down to your chest, the golden pendant of your necklace clinging to it. So close, so damn close.

His hawk eyes are on you the entire time, intense and sinister. Not a single twitch of your muscles passes them by. If it wasn't for that crooked smile of his you would think he's studying you, analyzing your every move.

It's easy to feel intimidated under his watch, so to lessen your nerves – and finally bring yourself over the edge – you grab him by the collar, pulling him close to you. "Kiss me,” you murmur as if his lips aren't already pressed to yours.

With one last wicked grin, Yoongi gives in to your request, kissing you as if his life depends on it. He knows exactly how to get you going, lets you taste yourself on his tongue while he produces more of your sinful essence.

All you can do is whimper against his mouth until you break apart, another orgasm ripping out of you sooner than you thought that has your thighs clamping shut and your back arching off the mattress. A string of profanities leaves your lips as Yoongi continues massaging your clit through your high. Your sweaty hand clutching at the comforter snatches his wrist, stopping his crazed motions. "F-fuck okay, stop," you manage out, your throat as dry as a desert.

The man has the audacity to send a soft slap to your folds before pressing a quick peck onto your temple. "You did so well." He peers down at you with a gummy smile as he sits up straight, popping his soaked fingers into his mouth. "That was fun."

You're essentially an empty vessel, watching him with your mouth agape while nothing but a numbing, tingling sensation travels along your limbs. This must be the afterlife. Hell or heaven or maybe both.

"Alright." His voice takes you back to the bedroom. "As promised"–he shuffles to the edge of the bed, spreading his legs–"you have all the creative control now."

A tired chuckle escapes you before you scramble yourself up on your elbows, immediately sliding down to the floor in front of where Yoongi sits. You're quick to work on his belt, looping the leather through the holes although the feeling in your fingers hasn't returned yet.

The sound of Yoongi's laughter fills your ears, and you know you must look like a fool with the way you're trying to get him out of his pants before you even took off his shirt. Oh shit, yeah. You totally forgot about his shirt, but you have all the time in the world. For now, your focus is on something entirely else.

He observes you as you pull down his jeans and boxers in one go, lifting his butt from the bed to facilitate the process for you. He sports this cocky sideway smirk that drives you insane, but you manage to wipe it off his face the second your hand wraps around his length. A hiss passes through his teeth once you start stroking him in an up-and-down motion. Throwing his head back, he lets you take full control.  

You add in a twisting motion whenever you reach the tip which clearly affects the man, his breathing becoming shallow and his whines turning into guttural moans. "I've barely done anything," you tease him just as he did earlier. "But you're already so hard."

That smirk returns instantly though weaker this time. "So what? I get hard watching you get off."

"Mh-hm," you hum unimpressed. "So what you're saying is I can do this"–you bend forward to slowly lick a stripe from the base up to the tip, giving the head a light suck–"and it does nothing for your raging hard-on?"

Whatever response is on the tip of his tongue, it disappears as soon as you put your mouth on him again, swallowing half of his length. "Ah, fuck!" His hand shoots up to hold you by the back of your head. The further you take him down your throat, the tighter his grip around your hair becomes. "Baby..."

You wish you could imprint this memory on instant film. The rosiness creeping up on his cheeks and neck compliment his smooth, milky skin so well. A thin sheen of sweat starts forming on his forehead, the strands of his dark bangs clinging to it framing his face like a picture. He's beyond beautiful, especially when he falls apart under the touch of your hand and the wet, warm comfort of your mouth.

Your head bops up and down at an excruciating pace now, his hard-on covered in slick from your saliva. You ignore the stinging ache in your jaw, planning on sucking him dry. He's always been such a sucker for your blowjobs, so you want to put on the best show possible for him.

"Baby," he repeats, his voice quivering. "Please."

Slowing down your movements, you resort to running your tongue across the protruding vein on the side of his length. "Yes?"

His hands wander down to your arms. "Come here."

"Hm?" You give him one final hard suck before pulling off him with a loud pop. Still kneeling in front of the man, you feign ignorance.

Impatiently, he pulls you up to your feet. "Stop playing."

You practically fall into his arms, straddling him in the process. His hands immediately find their way to your ass, grabbing a handful causing you to gasp. "What now?" you ask innocently, covering him with your slick as you grind down on him.

Drawing you in for a heated kiss, he drags your pelvis down onto his even harder. "Hands and knees, baby," the man orders with a sharp slap to your ass.

You don't waste another second, complying as you crawl off his lap. Getting into position with your butt high up in the air, you can hear his feet shuffle across the hardwood floor. He reappears in your vision shortly after, rummaging through the drawers of the bedside table.

"Shit," he curses harshly. "I thought I had some in here."

No further explanation is needed to understand what he's referring to. Sitting up on your heels, you watch Yoongi run a hand through his hair in distress.

"Can you check the other side?" he suggests, his eyes set on you.

"Sure." Leaning over the edge of the bed, you sift through the drawers though without luck.

Yoongi usually keeps the condoms on his side, the right side. When you were together, you would occupy the left side which is closer to the window. You always preferred the one closest to the window. It didn't matter much to Yoongi which side he slept on, but he made sure yours was always cleared so you could store whatever stuff you wanted. From any type of jewelry you took off before going to sleep, to snacks or books you brought with you that day – you always had your space within his home. And going through what were once your drawers, you realize nothing much has changed. They look rather uninhabited, no traces of you or him – or even someone else which is a concern that crosses your mind now.

He scratches the back of his head. "Fuck..." His voice comes out in defeat. "Maybe I can ask one of the other guys–"

"Don't!" You grab him by the wrist before he can wander off.

Confused, he looks down at your hand then back at you. "Why? You don't want to anymore?"

Shaking your head, you murmur sheepishly, "That's not it." There's a beat of silence as he waits for more. You swallow down the lump in your throat before you elaborate further, "Have you been with anyone else after..."

He holds your gaze, his eyes turning somber at your insinuation. "No."

His answer his short, but it's all you need to know. Min Yoongi might be the master of poker faces, but when it comes to you you can read the man like a book.

"Have you?" he follows up.

You shake your head. "Me neither."

Your reply seems to loosen some of the tension Yoongi was harboring, his body language becoming much more relaxed. Intertwining your hand with his, he inquires with a spark in his eyes, "Are you still on the pill?"

Giving him an affirmative answer, you interlock your fingers with his free hand as well. Your gesture changes the mood for good, his signature gummy smile making its return. You pull him closer until you're chest to chest. Sending him a light peck to the corner of his mouth, you curl your fingers around the edges of his shirt, peeling it off his torso.

He chuckles, raising his arms into the air in compliance. His hair ends up slightly disheveled once the clothing drags over his head. As you're smoothing it out for him, he asks, "Are you sure you're okay with this?"  

You give it another second of thought. It wouldn't be the first time you've done it without extra protection. You started birth control once things became serious between the two of you. Over the course of your relationship, you would stick to double protection mostly to stay on the safe side. Now that you're back here with him and your first time ever since is going to be raw, it puts so much more significance to the situation – but that's what you want. You want to be with him all the way.

"I'm okay with this," you assure him with another peck to his lips. "Are you?"

Nodding his head, he allows you to drag down his pants and underwear that still hang around his thighs, letting them pool around his ankles. You're about to crawl back onto the bed when he stops you midway.

"What?" You look at him from across your shoulder. "What's wrong?"

His arm wraps around your middle, turning you on your back. "I wanna look at you."

With bated breath you watch his eyes linger on your face, taking in every inch of it as if he's trying to paint a picture of you in his mind. God. If he's not going to do anything, you're going to have to eventually –

Cupping your chin, he then kisses you deeply while entering you slowly.

Your reaction is immediate, gasping against his mouth as he sheaths himself inside of you. Thank God. Finally.

The feeling is all too familiar though it still needs some time getting used to. He prepped you well at least, so it doesn't take too long until pleasure ultimately replaces the stinging sensation.

"Fuck," he curses as he moves at a moderate pace. "I missed you."

You hold onto his arms resting beside your head. "I missed you, too."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

It's like this flips a switch inside of him, his movements becoming more eager and carnal. He fills you up to the hilt, thrusting in and out of you with vigor. The silver pendant of his necklace swings back and forth wildly, grazing across your chest.

Your nails leave crescent shaped marks around his biceps. You're reduced to moans and curses. How long have you been hoping for this? Within those three months without him, you never considered a chance of getting back together – but you also haven't stopped thinking about the possibility of it. It seemed so farfetched due to all the circumstances. You had ruled it out immediately. But your fantasy always ran wild with the idea of it. And now your fantasy has become reality.

A particularly hard thrust has you practically screaming. You're quick to cover your mouth, your hand clasping it shut.

"Don't do that." Yoongi grabs ahold of it, holding it down above your head. "I wanna hear you." As if to test you, his hips rut into you faster and harder.

This ultimately does the trick, and you certainly don't disappoint as you let out lustful sounds loud and clear. Your focus should be on the here and now – in the arms of the man that you love so much. Nothing else and no one else should matter. "O-oh God, Yoongi!"

He sends you a satisfied grin as he sits up on his heels, his hips still snapping into yours. "Turn around."

With a mocking voice you tease him, "I thought you wanted to look at me."

"Yeah," he states nonchalantly, separating his sweaty bangs. "Now I wanna see the other side."

You let out an amused chuckle but abide alas, turning around on your side first before falling forward on your hands, your ass on full display for him.

"Perfect," he praises, caressing your cheeks with both hands. "You're doing great, baby."

Seconds pass before you feel his tip slide past your folds again. The stretch is different in this position, deeper and more thorough. You don't even notice yourself backing into him, your behind pressed flush to his pelvis.

"A little eager, aren't we?" One of his hands comes down to spank you, but before you even get a chance to complain he continues his onslaught, rolling his hips into your backside with deliciously slow yet harsh thrusts.

"Oh my God!" You lower yourself until your chest comes into contact with the mattress. "Yoongi…"

The telltale sound of skin slapping against skin echoes off the walls though they're not enough to drown out your sounds. As he gradually picks up his pace, your moans turn unstoppable. It's like an out-of-body experience – and judging by the noises coming from the man behind you he seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself as well.  

"Fuck, baby…" Yoongi's grip on your hips tightens. "You take me so well."

You desperately nod your head at no one in particular before burying it in between your folded forearms as you withstand his force. There's a burn you're trying to ignore that spreads along your thighs, but the longer you hold out the easier you lose posture until you collapse like a house of cards.

"Here." His hands guide you further up on the mattress until you're on your half of the bed. "Lay down."

You flop down onto your back like a brick, drawing a chuckle out of Yoongi.

As he positions himself beside you, he puts your legs together rolling you onto your side.  

"Oh..." You watch him with wondrous eyes as he settles down onto the space behind you. "This is new."

"Yeah." He grins while looping an arm around you, burying himself in your heat again. "Thought you needed a break."

At that, you chuckle lightly. "How thoughtful of you."

"Right?" With one sharp thrust, he hits you right in your g-spot. "Aren't I thoughtful?"

You moan out as he continuously pistons in and out of you, unable to answer in coherent sentences. "Mh-hm, so th-thoughtful."

His hand resting on your belly trails down to your thighs, spreading them ever so slightly so he can toy with your clit. The other squeezes through a crevice he creates between you and the bed to play with your tits.

When you think this is the highest of pleasure you can experience, he proves you wrong again. As his hips and hands move together in a perfect rhythm, he has the audacity to nip at your neck at the same time. His hard cock driving in and out of your pussy while he draws circles on your clit, pinches your nipple, and laves his tongue over your neck – this overstimulation sends you straight to the verge of another orgasm.

"Yoongi…" You twist your head around, resting it against his. "I'm gonna cum again."

"Okay." His features are contorted, one of the telltale signs of his own high incoming. "I'm about to cum, too."

Grabbing onto the hair on the back of his head, you press your lips together. The position proves itself as slightly awkward but is no obstacle to the heated kiss you're able to share.

Parting for a split second, Yoongi mumbles against your lips, "Should I pull out?"

You give it a moment of serious thought, shaking your head. As much as you loved when he used to finish somewhere on your body, you loved it the most when he finished inside. It always felt the most intimate, connecting the two of you on another level. "Cum inside me," you clarify, your walls already starting to flutter at the thought of it alone.

It's apparent the male is affected by your command, trying his hardest to send the two of you over the finish line. His eyes are shut, and his forehead crinkled into deep creases. "Baby," he huffs out with shallow breaths, "cum for me, please."

His plea along with his relentless ministrations seem to be the final straw for you, that long awaited orgasm exploding within you like a firework. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you manage out a hoarse moan, involuntarily clamping your thighs shut while your legs twitch.

"O-oh fuck!" Yoongi also finds his release right away, emptying himself inside of you. "Shit!"

You barely register the profanities leaving his lips, but once he's reduced to mere whimpers you come back to reality. You always thought they were the sweetest sound in the world, such a contradiction to the strong and secure exterior of Min Yoongi.

The two of you lie there entangled with one another, catching your breaths. It could be a matter of a few minutes or maybe even an hour that you bask in the afterglow until Yoongi breaks the silence. "Come on," he murmurs, caressing your cheek. "We gotta clean up. Take off your make-up and all that."

You agree although with an annoyed grunt, slowly heaving your strained limbs from the bed one by one. There's a slight chill in the room now that your body has acclimated without the added body temperature from Yoongi and the physical exertion.

The touch of a fabric being draped across your shoulders causes you to jump a little. Inspecting the piece, you realize it's Yoongi's shirt from earlier. Thanking him, you slide it on as you stand up to your full height. Your legs are like jelly and there's the telltale ringing in your ears.

"Can you walk?" Yoongi inquires, coming to stand beside you. He’s back in his boxers, inspecting you with care.

Sending a timid nod of your head, you take a step but stumble over your own feet.

His arms reach out for you just in time to prevent the fall. "I went too hard on you. I'm sorry, darling."

"'s alright," you slur into the crook of his neck. "I liked it. A lot."

A smug grin finds its way onto his features. "Now come on," he chuckles. "Let's get you cleaned up."

You're more than thankful in this situation that Yoongi's room is one of the two in this household with an en-suite bathroom (the other belonging to Seokjin – being the eldest comes with benefits for sure) since your legs almost give out at any step despite leaning onto him while you walk.

After you take care of your situation down there, Yoongi runs a warm washcloth along the inside of your thighs for good measure. You thank him with your mouth agape, watching him in astonishment while you're propped up on the sink countertop for balance. It's beyond you how you could agree to the break-up so easily when he's always been so attentive to your needs, has always taken care of you without you even asking.

"There." He rises back to eye-level with you. "All good now."

You turn around to face the mirror, looking around for the things you need to in order to wash up. "Do you have a spare toothbrush?" you ask.

The man takes a second to process your request before his hand curls around the handle of one of the upper drawers. "I actually..." He hesitates. "I've got a few things you could use."

When he opens the drawer, your breath hitches in your throat. "I forgot I left these here," you murmur, inspecting the items revealed to you.

"Yeah..." Yoongi scratches the back of his head. "When you said you didn't need them, I tried throwing them away, but... I just couldn't."

You fairly remember the scene, storming out of the house after that talk, and when Yoongi told you he still had stuff of yours when you came over to drop off his you answered in anger 'Keep it or throw it out'.

With a trembling hand, you reach for the pink headband next to the rest of your skincare products. You don't want it to happen, but tears spring up in your eyes. Trying to keep them at bay, you throw your head into your neck, but to no avail. The first tears roll down your cheeks, so you turn away from Yoongi in shame, letting them fall freely.

"Hey," Yoongi coos, his hands coming up to rub soothing circles into your arms. "It's okay, honey. It's in the past now."

You feel so endlessly guilty of how things have turned out. All you want is for it to work out with him.

He continues consoling you, "We're gonna do better this time. But we have to be honest with each other." One of his hands slide down to intertwine with yours. "So no more of that hiding shit."

You let him spin you around in your spot. Looking up at him through blurry vision, you wrap your arms around his neck. "I want this to work out, Yoongi," you croak out choked up on tears. "I really want this to work out."

"It's gonna work out," he assures you, his arms around you as tight and secure as ever. "We're gonna make it work."

As you pull apart, he swipes his thumb over the last of the remaining tears on your cheek before placing a chaste kiss on it. The gesture draws a smile back onto your face, soothing your haywire state.

It's so domestic how you stand next to each other now brushing your teeth and doing your skincare routines, pulling silly faces at one another through the mirror – and before you know it you're racing him back to the bed, drifting off into peaceful slumber with his chest pressed to your back.

Sunlight peeks through the blinds as you blink your eyes open. You're sore all over, the memory of last night hitting you like a bat over the head though it draws a smile on your lips – especially since his arm is still draped over your middle.

Carefully rolling over onto your side, you're met with a half-asleep Yoongi, his eyelids still heavy as he peers at you.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" you whisper, your smile widening at his cute face.

He shakes his head, burying his face into the pillow. "Mh-mh." His voice comes out muffled, thick with sleepiness. "I woke up a minute ago or so."

You place your hand on his cheek at which he turns his head again. Rubbing your thumb across his soft skin, you shuffle closer to peck him on the lips.

He seems slightly more awake after that, chasing after your lips for another.

You still can't believe this is how you ended up. All the trials and tribulations brought you back together in the end. A huge thank you is due to be said to Jimin.

Yoongi props himself up, looking around the room in search of something. Once his eyes land on the bedside table next to you, he speaks up, "Pass me my phone, please?"

You hum out in affirmation, bending over to the side to retrieve the device.

He settles back down on the bed when you hand it to him, welcoming you with open arms as you cuddle up to him. Tapping on the screen, he unlocks the phone to a plethora of messages. He opens the most recent chat with Jimin.

You're not one to sneak a peek, but it's hard not to when it's right in front of your face. When you read the last message, heat creeps up into your cheeks.

from Jimin [12:04 AM]

i'm glad you guys managed to "talk things out" 😉

"Oh God." You hide your face in the crook of his neck. "They know."

"Of course they know," Yoongi replies with a chuckle. "We were gone for the rest of the night." He types out a quick reply before tossing the phone onto the space beside him. "On top of that, we weren't exactly quiet," he jokes, wrapping his arms around you pulling you flush to his chest.

You linger in embarrassment for a little longer until you can't help but laugh along with him.

A soft knock on the door ends your chatter early to which Yoongi answers with a chipper 'Come in'.

The door cracks open ever so slightly, the chestnut-brown of Seokjin's mop of hair coming into sight. "Everybody decent?" he questions before correcting himself. "Well, you wouldn't have told me to come in if not." Swinging the door open wider until he's more than a floating head without a body, he adds, "Uh... Breakfast's ready."

"Alright, thanks," the younger male responds. "We'll be down in a bit."

"So you guys are good again?" The corners of Seokjin's mouth tug upward as if he doesn't know the answer already.

Yoongi sends him an assuring smile. "Yeah, we're good."

"Good, good. That's a relief." It looks like he's on his way out before he adds with a teasing grin, "Otherwise I would've had no other choice but to ask for your hand in marriage, _____, because that kiss last night was something else. Like wow–"

A loud thud sounds as Yoongi throws his pillow at the older male with full force. Seokjin's fast reflexes save him though as it knocks against the closing door instead.

You shake your head at the eldest’s shenanigans.

"Say…" Yoongi starts again, acting as if what just happened a second ago didn’t. "I’m gonna have to go on some trips starting next month."

Your ears perk up at that.

"I know I can’t take you with me on all of them, and I’m not gonna force you, but…" He studies you with careful eyes. "Do you think we can make something work? Like you keep me company for at least one of them?"

Tracing shapes across the smoothness of his chest, you answer, "It’s a little short notice, but I’ll talk to my manager first thing Monday morning."

He cracks a crooked smile. "If not, we’ll figure something out."

"We’ll figure something out," you repeat as an assurance to him but also yourself. "What’s important is we both gotta be comfortable with what we’re doing and be patient with the process. Chances are things aren’t gonna run smoothly right away."

His smile grows wider at your addition. "Yeah, exactly.” Pulling you closer to his chest, Yoongi says the next sentence with an underlying tone of regret. "I hope you know it’s not your fault."

Your fingers curl tighter around his figure.

"I was just as guilty myself, I made just as many mistakes." Tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he trails, "So please, don’t put all the blame on yourself."

Last night you would’ve cried in an instant, but you’re in a much better state this morning. Now you know you both have things to improve in order to move the relationship forward.

Lifting your head off his chest, you nod at him with a small smile. "Thank you for letting me know. And the same goes for you as well."

He reciprocates your smile before pulling you down towards him, pressing your lips together. "I love you," he repeats the words from last night.

Your heart flutters in your chest. "I love you, too." You resume the kiss, your hands roaming around his naked torso. "Do you think breakfast can wait? I feel like"–slinging one leg over to the other side, you straddle him–"I was kinda lazy last night."

At that, he gives you an all-knowing grin and the rest is history.

[slashers-and-rats]

Can you please do some headcaonons on what it's like living with Billy? Does he ever leave the building? Does he leave the attic if everyone else is out? What's his favorite food? (Idk what canadians eat lol)

rat chat: this is gonna be a little long cuz i also wanna explain my own idea of how you even wound up in the house.

ok, so, my idea is that the entirety of the 2006!billy backstory happens. y’know, the usual stuff. bad childhood, fucked up situations, the killings, the being sent away- ALL OF IT HAPPENS. except, instead of the house being turned into a sorority, it gets passed around during the years that billy is away. it’s sold from person to person, it ends up in the hands of your grandparents, and after a tragedy you wind up having the house left to you in your will, along with a bit of money. voila, you have the house.

you don’t move in for awhile. the wound is fresh. instead, you work on moving the stuff out of the house and putting it into storage. during that time, you don’t even realize there’s an entire attic. billy knows that, though, and while you’re busy cleaning up the place to start living in, he makes the upstairs his brand new home. so, by the time you actually move in, he’s already there.

it’s hard at the start of you living there. after getting everything out, you gotta put all your stuff in. the house is old and creepy, and it feels like you’re being watched (duh). it’s weird. the first few nights are rough. it’s rough for billy too, of course. he had the house to himself for awhile, he had cleared out some of the cupboards while you were cleaning stuff out so he has a stash of food, he had liked wandering around when you weren’t there. now he’s stuck back up in the attic.

you go about living your life, or at least your new one. you maybe moved from a bit away and are looking for a new job in the area. you have some money from the will to keep yourself comfortable for a bit, but you still wanna get something steady. all the meanwhile, you’re exploring the new house and getting used to being there.

billy, on the other hand, is just watching you all the time. you’re his personal entertainment. sometimes you’ll hear creaks from the ceiling, but you assume it’s just the house settling. the thing is old, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities. it’s when you start getting the phone calls that things get weird.

in the dead of night, when you’re lounging on the couch, you’ll get random phone calls by some freak replaying horrible things in your ear. he sounds like he’s in pain, ranting and raving about things you don’t even really understand. the first few times, you just hung up immediately when he started. he’d call and call and call, and you’d just pretend the phone didn’t even exist. then, after awhile, you would sit and listen. it stopped him from calling for hours after you hung up, but it would also be an hour of you listening to what sounded like this very hurt man SUFFERING.

you can’t say it didn’t strike some pity in you. he sounded pathetic, like a wounded, crying animal, and he just wanted you to listen. it was wrong in a lot of ways, but part of you felt… connected? like, this guys only way of working through his shit was reenacting it all to you. maybe, in some way, it was helping? you’d try to talk him through it and ask questions, but he never really responded. sometimes he’d try to, but he’d just fall back into the same chants and rambles.

during all this, obviously, it’s billy on the other side. he sits up in his attic, laying on his mattress, torturing himself. in my head, sex for billy is a punishment at this point in his life. he doesn’t see it as anything but a way to hurt him, and he’s obsessed with harming himself. he feels like he deserves it. so, while he’s talking into the phone, he’s jerking off like a mad man, and crying, and biting himself, and drooling everywhere. he’s a mess. and he believes he deserves to be. at first, you would say he’s being disgusting and gross, and he liked it because it made him feel shameful, and he deserved it. than, after awhile, you started trying to help him, and it confused the FUCK out of him. because all of his coping is punishing himself with reliving his own fucked up traumas, and now you’re sitting here like “have you tried… seeing a therapist?” and he’s like ????? i went to an asylum and they drugged me up???? is that enough??

it becomes a routine. at some point he tells you his name, sort of. it slips out during one of this moments. as well, you start piecing together his story a bit more, and it breaks your heart. you’re worried. in a fucked up way, you start feeling some kind of sympathy. this guy clearly has issues, he has no one to talk to, and here he is spilling all of his deepest secrets to you. at some point, you ask if he wants your help. he doesn’t know how to respond. you explain to him that he needs help, that he can be better, that it’s a good idea to find someone that cares about him that can get him support, and he just gets upset because that doesn’t exist for him. he’s alone, and your pity doesn’t change that. it makes him so upset, that for awhile, he doesn’t call.

during that time, billy just stews up in the attic. during the nights he sneaks down to watch you sleep. he likes you, in his own way. he likes that you listen, and he likes that you care, even if it’s from afar. but he doesn’t like that, in other ways, you just remind him that he doesn’t ACTUALLY have anyone. you’re a reflection of his own loneliness. because even tho you’re this person that seemingly wants him to feel better, you’re still just over a phone. you’d never ACTUALLY help.

well, that’s bullshit, because one day after weeks of not calling, you’re cleaning out some of the house and stumble upon the attic door. and it’s a surprise, because you didn’t even know you had an attic. a few minutes later, you’re climbing up and finding a very malnourished, sad looking man, who sounds exactly like the guy over the phone that told you all about his issues. who would’ve guessed?

at first, billy lashes out. he’s terrified. he can’t go back to the asylum, he doesn’t want to be on the streets, he’s already struggling enough. he’s scared. you’ve successfully cornered him. on the other hand, you’re baffled that the guy that has been talking to you has been in your fucking attic this entire time. you’re concerned, he’s freaking out, and you just try to console him and explain you’re not calling the cops and getting him removed. in a moment of panic, you say he can stay. it calms him right down. you ask if he wants something to eat, and to take a shower, and you manage to coax him out of the attic and down to the kitchen. one hot meal later, and he’s sitting at your dining room table. you’re very confused, but also after hearing all the stuff he would rant about, you’re kinda glad you found him. at least you could provide him some help? maybe? or maybe just get him to not call you at three in the morning before work anymore.

over the course of a few months, you two do start living together. he gets his own room. you offer to clear out the attic and let him have that space, but it’s clear it holds a lot of bad memories for him, so you give him his own room beside yours. you cook for the both of you, since he doesn’t really know how. he does do lawn work, he seems to like picking weeds and such, and he catches all the bugs in your house. he helps clean when he can, and you he helps you make grocery lists for when you go out on errands. he doesn’t like leaving the house yet, he’s just not very fond of large groups of people.

it’s not easy. he still has his moments. he doesn’t understand what sex actually is. it’s still a punishment. in the night, he’ll come to you, and talk like he did over the phone, and you’ll hold him and try to listen but it’s so hard when he’s clearly so hurt. during these times he gets handsy, and you have to explain to him that you aren’t there to fuck him, you’re just there to listen. billy likes that. a lot of the people in his life got off on his suffering, and yet you actually want to solve it. it feels nice, but at the same time it’s very confusing. he has a lot of conflicting feelings inside of him.

it takes a long time for you two to become something normal, and even longer for you two to actually connect romantically. first, he has to get to a point where he’s healthy. you help him get back on his feet, and support him through learning some new skills and the like. he supports you by taking care of the house while you’re gone, and cleaning up, and doing any yard work or things. he especially likes holidays, and when he gets to decorate. you two have movie nights often, and go through all the films he missed growing up. he loves talking about everything that happens on screen, and you find it endearing. you read to him a lot, and he likes listening and laying with his head in your lap.

he has a hard time keeping his feelings in, and that’s fine with you. you just work on boundaries. he knows not to touch you without asking. you guys are affectionate, since it seems to really comfort him to experience affection that isn’t… bad. whenever you get home he hugs you for a long time, and he likes to cuddle you while you two watch movies, and he asks to hold your hand when he’s stressed out. sometimes he tries to make a move, just so overwhelmed that he starts acting without thinking, and you just have to explain that you’re not ready yet. he knows, and he holds back. it’s hard, but he’s learning.

then you work on actually getting him out of the house. that’s the most difficult. he is not a people person. it starts with walks around the neighbourhood, and then little trips to the store or to pick up take out. that’s all he can really manage. he’s more of an indoor kinda cat, he doesn’t like… others. he likes you, though. it’s clearly more than just liking, he’s kinda obsessed with you. you don’t notice it, just thinking you’re doing what anyone would do for someone in need like that, but he is very very very in love.

i think the first time you actually realize it is on valentine’s day. you come home and he has the kitchen set up, and he used his few cooking skills to make you guys something. it’s a little confusing at first, but the way he’s looking at you, and explaining how he really appreciates what you’ve done… it melts your heart. he’s not talking like he used to, just talking about the nasty things he wanted to put you through, he’s genuinely voicing that he enjoys you as a person. don’t get me wrong, he’s still stuttering and patching words together, and a lot of it is him using lines from romance movies to explain how he feels, but it’s the thought that counts.

you two have a nice night. he doesn’t try anything. you guys just eat and watch some romance movies and cuddle on the couch. and before you head up for bed, you kiss him on the cheek and say it’s been a great valentine’s day. and he’s smitten. he just walks you walk up the stairs and that’s when he makes it his mission for you two to be together.

obviously, down the line, he learns what romance is and what sex CAN be. it goes from him just wanting to bone because it’s all his instincts tell him to do, to him wanting to make love with someone that he loves and it’s a way for him to connect with you. and while that takes awhile, it makes the connection a lot deeper. he’s been through a lot. being able to finally see sex as not a punishment, but a way to express your feelings towards someone is super cool. obviously, before that, he’s expressing himself in other ways, but billy enjoys the fact that he took this thing that used to FUCKING SUCK and make it into something good. and you helped do that.

immsorry this was so long and maybe didn’t make a lot of sense i love you

[henrioo]

Hey! Could I please request some fluffy scenarios about Shanks X Male and Mihawk X Male Reader (separately if that's okay) who's love languages are physical touch and quality time, but is also struggling with anxiety? Sorry for going on anon, this is my first time ever requesting and I'm a little nervous lol

°•*⁀➷ TOO MUCH LOVE, TOO MANY THOUGHTS : SHANKS AND MIHAWK

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : You love your partners, you really do, but sometimes those voices inside you gain control over your body, making you withdraw into your own fears and feelings. Good for you that your partners won't give up on having you by their side.

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : MALE! READER, M! READER, NOT POLY! The reader can be Trans or Cis, talking about homophobia but nothing happens, a lot of talk about insecurities in a romantic relationship, talk about anxiety and fear

꒰ WC ꒱ : 2,4k at all, 1k for Shanks and 1,4 for Mihawk

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : Hey thanks for this request! It had been some months and I don't have any idea if you are still there but anyway thanks for that, that request is part of the first ask I received when I opened for male reader so this means a lot to me. The ask doesn't talk too much about the insecurities of the reader because I wanted that you guys could imagine your own, here talk more about how they would handle and help you. Enjoy!

★彡 Shanks

It may not seem like it, but the redhead is a master at reading people, all it takes is a few nervous glances and body language and he knows exactly what the problem is.

However, while he knows what the problem is, he is not that good at knowing the best solution for it. Part of him just wants to grab you and say "stop with that and let's just kiss." Luckily he knows that not everyone works like him, so he is able to understand that you may have different limits and such a direct approach can make the situation worse and even push you away from him.

So, firstly, he tries to understand exactly why you are suffering from so much anxiety when it comes to spending time with him and having more physical touch. Are you ashamed or afraid of doing PDA because of prejudiced looks since you are both men? Are you afraid that he will reject you if you show this need for time and affection? Are you publicly ashamed of others? Regardless of what's going through your head, Shanks wants to understand so he can give you truer love.

When he has a little idea or some theories, which he will achieve after observing you a lot in various situations and talking to all the other men on the ship, he will try to talk to you. Of course he will never force you into anything, he just wants to try to understand and maybe ease this weight that you are carrying alone. Even if you just want to scream or ramble without knowing exactly how to express your feelings and anxiety, he wants to be there for you, to show that he is willing to listen to you, understand you, especially validate and support you. He wants you to see that he is there for you in every situation.

Whether you decide to speak or not, the outcome changes very little. The difference being that having talked to you, Shanks will be able to understand you more easily, thus being able to make fewer mistakes in his attempts to help you and make you more comfortable with everything. If you don't decide to talk, he will be forced to make several trials and errors on how to make the environment more favorable for you to feel comfortable and overcome your anxiety, so you can give in to your desires for physical touch and spend more time with him. quietly.

Since you may have anxiety about initiating contact, Shanks will do all the hard work for you. Which, let's be honest, isn't very difficult, the redhead adores you like a loyal servant to a god, he can't keep his hands off you. It may seem funny to others to see a pirate as strong as a stray puppy following you, especially when they discover that Shanks' lover is a man, but what can he do... He is a man completely in love with you .

It's not uncommon for him to go after you, but if he notices your difficulty in initiating contact, he'll go even more after his presence. Every time he is free on the ship he will come after you, suggesting that you play a game, have a snack, talk, dance, sleep, he never runs out of ideas knowing that coming up first with a goal can make you calmer since you will just need to go with the flow and not think about everything on your own.

With physical touch, the difference is that he will pay extra attention to your comfort, it is normal that every time you are on land he is glued to your side. Holding hands or a hand around his waist practically hugging you, he just doesn't want to let go of you. In bars or any other establishment he would like to sit next to you, he would never put you on his lap, wishing that this choice came from you first. Shanks doesn't want you to feel humiliated or insulted by him wanting you on his lap, especially if you're nervous about showing affection publicly because you're both men.

But that doesn't stop him from having some physical contact, when his hand isn't occupied he'll put it on your thigh or your hand on the table, if he's drinking he'll leave his foot close to yours or even leave his foot close to yours. His leg pressed against yours. Even if it's small touches, he wants to show you that he wants to touch you just as much as you want to touch him. On the ship things are easier, he can simply hide the two of you in your shared room, thus avoiding the teasing of your crewmates and also having a little more privacy.

In the end he will just try to demonstrate that he wants your touch and attention as much as you do. He knows that actions can be stronger than words and he firmly believes that, so he will always be by your side to show you that he would never turn down spending time with you or having a make-out session. You are his boyfriend, after all! The man he loves and would do anything to see smile, he could never get tired of you.

Shanks' greatest happiness will be seeing you slowly loosen up and work on your anxiety better. When you start spending time together or touching, he will be celebrating inside. In the end, he just wants your attention and for you to show how much you love him, so he will never refuse if you want to spend time together. And even if it takes a while, even if you don't touch him for months, even if you need to talk a lot until you feel more confident, he doesn't mind at all. You are the one he loves and he would do anything for you, no effort is too much, you are worth everything he has to face and suffer, and he will accept it with a smile on his face.

If you think Shanks is easy to notice his difficulties then it only takes Mihawk an instant to notice something wrong. The difference is that the redhead will consider that some of the reasons for your anxiety could be external stimuli such as other people, reputation, shame or fear... Mihawk is a little more insecure at this point.

★彡Mihawk

His early theories for your anxiety and difficulty having quality time and physical touch with him is that the culprit is, well... Him. Are you no longer in love with him? Don't you feel comfortable? Not attracted? Is he not that interesting of a person to spend time with or is he not good at physical touch? It doesn't matter, he would initially think that it must be something he did that caused his estrangement.

He would have a few moments alone to consider everything, perhaps you no longer enjoy being in that castle without anyone's company but his. When he manages to calm his mind and open himself to any possibility, whether good or bad, he finally decides to talk to you. Luckily, Mihawk is extremely verbally expressive and is very good at communicating, so even if you were just rambling and getting lost in your own words, he will be able to understand you or even help you with how to express yourself better.

The conversation may seem a little suffocating due to Mihawk's firm gaze, but you've been his lover for long enough that he only pays attention to you like that. Furthermore, you can see a worried touch and even a loving look if you pay close attention to the way he looks at you.

Other than that, he is extremely patient with you, he will listen to you for as long as necessary and will only speak if you allow it and feel comfortable discussing it at that moment. Then he will try to analyze the entire situation to better understand your fears, insecurity, anything that is making you anxious and pushing you away from him. He will never judge any of your motives or tell you they are silly, no matter if you were just shy, if you were nervous about appearing clingy, if you were too nervous about his beauty? It doesn't make any difference why, if it bothers you in some way, then it's totally important and valid for him.

And just as he doesn't care about the reasons, he also doesn't care about the solutions to help you with your problems. He loves you with all the depth and loyalty he could have, so he is also willing to give his blood and sweat for the good of your relationship. For Mihawk it's more than fair for both lovers to make an effort, especially when one of them is in trouble, so not for a second does he think of you or this whole situation as a burden. He loves you and you love him, you are partners, you are the man he chose to spend the rest of his life with, if he doesn't make the slightest effort in trying to keep the relationship on good terms then he doesn't deserve you. That's why he will always do his best.

After that he will try to make everything easier for you, he might give you a few peaceful days without looking for contact, wanting you to breathe before facing your problems. After that he will begin his plan to slowly make you approach him again and feel comfortable coming to him whenever you want... And well, maybe he will be much happier when he can finally touch you again and spend time with you. , it may not seem like it, but Mihawk also really wants your company and the idea of being without it makes him extremely moody.

He will initially try to recapture the moments together, quality time is easier for Mihawk and he thinks that starting with that is the best way for the two of you to get closer again, after all you wouldn't be forced into any touching if you weren't already completely safe. Then he will reminisce about some of the activities you used to enjoy doing together, be it reading in each other's company during a calm evening, the sound of the fireplace and the birds outside providing a more peaceful environment for you to relax your mind and let go of the anxiety. go away. He will also invite you to garden together. If you don't like getting dirty he will just talk to you and ask for your help. That doesn't make you put your hands in the dirt. However, if you like it, he will be very happy to teach you or listen to his teachings. He will work in the garden while you talk about where you could use those vegetables. If you want, he can also help you make a flower garden or plant anything else you like.

He will also love your company in the kitchen, he may use the excuse of testing new recipes to include you more, maybe he will even try to make something that you like to eat from another island. If you cook, like it or want to learn, he doesn't mind your help either, as long as you are happy and coming out of your shell, forgetting your anxiety and allowing yourself to be comfortable and doing what you love again, he is satisfied. Also, he may start trying to initiate physical touches, if you are a swordsman he will love some sparring sessions with you, although he won't go easy on you. After all, you are a man and a worthy opponent, you can notice that his movements are much more sensual and loving, it is as if he is trying to seduce you, win you over again and using all his body language in favor of this.

If you don't fight or don't want to learn, although Mihawk would love to teach you, he can still think of other activities with physical touch. His favorite is dancing. You will find him the most patient and dedicated partner possible, if you understand dancing he will even let you guide, moving and handling his body as you wish. Furthermore, he could even go into activities outside of his standard if that could help him relax and be calmer with touch. Trying on clothes? You have Dracule's entire wardrobe at your disposal, luckily you are both men so this part is easier. Messing with hair? Of course, go ahead and touch his black hair, if you have longer hair he will enjoy learning how to style it or take care of it.

Other than that, once he notices you getting more comfortable, he'll go back to the subtle physical touches. Mihawk is not the type of lover who devours you in public, but you will always find his hand on your back, either guiding you or just making it clear that he is there. He will also offer his hand to help you get up or down from places, a hand on your shoulder or arm if you are in a situation where he wants to make it obvious that he has you and that he won't let anything bad happen.

He doesn't like more sensual touches in public, so in the privacy of four walls you will have more of that, light touches on your neck or your thigh, but they still won't be perverted touches, just a more romantic and deep touch, something he wants to keep for your eyes only.

Mihawk is a lover who is slower to deal with his anxiety, he in no way wants you to feel pressured, so he will wait with open arms when you are ready to regain intimacy. He'd also hate for you to feel like you're obligated to have this kind of intimacy with him, so he also doesn't mind if you don't like the closeness. In the end the truth is just unique, in Mihawk's eyes you are the perfect man, if you don't like so much intimacy and touching he is satisfied with that, if you like touching and want to be with him 24/7 he will too be more than satisfied. He needs you, everything you give him will be a gift. Therefore, even though he seems like a stoic and even cold man, Mihawk would never deny or be ashamed of your touch, you are the only one who can do whatever you want and he will never be bothered by it.

[wilcze-kudly]

I really want to see your post about how Katara is forcefully matured by the fandom, please!

Ok, while I wasn't ready to make that post in earnest, and frankly never might be, here's some of my cursory thoughts on the topic. I'd gladly talk about it in detail more but also ✨️fear✨️

So, let's get the obvious out of the way. Katara is a 14 year old. A child, barely a teen. In fact, the entirety of the gaang is made up of children.

Now, I haven't been fully active in the atla fandom in quite some time, mostly lurking on the peripheries, because the fandom is a shitshow. One of the reasons being the fact that most fans cannot, for the life of them handle the Gaang's inherent childishness.

This isn't just a Katara problem. Other than her, Aang suffers the most for the egregious crime of being a 12 year old survivor of a genocide. Suki is, of course, mainly ignored. The interpretations of Toph can vary wildly, from her being horrifically matured to being dissmissed as a chaotic, rude child. Zuko and Sokka's immature moments are looked at more permissively, being an angsty boi™️ and a goofy goober respectively.

I do find it odd that Aang doesn't get the "boys will be boys" pass, but ok, we'll blame it on him being... bald? a nice boy? not concerned with his own masculinity?

As for Katara, her maturity is treated like... a given. She's the mom of the group, the proverbial love interest, the feminist icon, the badass fighter, the trailblazer filled with feminine rage. The trophy wife to Aang, the (Lore Olympus style) Persephone to Zuko's Hades.

And true, she is, or at least can be, a lot of these things.

However she is, first and foremost, a child. This fact is presented to us on a silver platter in the first episode, when her and Aang are penguin sledding.

Katara : I haven't done this since I was a kid!

Aang: You still are a kid!

Katara is a child forced to mature. Her circumstances forced her to try to fill her mother's place and to fight for those who couldn't do so themselves. The fandom brands her as a mom friend. Sees her purely as an icon of empowerment. Or worse, degrades her character to being a love interest.

(im talking about both sides of the kataang/zutara debate. I have my biases, but I'm sure there are kataangers who treat her like this as well. I simply have encountered very few of them.)

Her story, while yes, has many themes of female empowerment is in huge part, a tragedy. The tragedy of a young girl forced to grow up much too soon.

Sadly, this is rarely spoken about. It's not spoken about directly and therefore a lot of the fandom doesn't see this. (Or simply doesn't want to see it)

This is not to say that Katara's more mature aspects should be dismissed or buried. She displays a lot of maturity for her age, to the point of being able to go toe to toe both intellectually and physically with the (admittedly usually incompetent) adults of the show. Additionally, she evolves as a character through the durtation of the show.

But a huge chunk of her maturity being forced and therefore unhealthy is a key aspect of her character.

I think what upsets me the most is that while the critiquing the idea of Katara being treated as the mom of the group in fanon is becoming more and more common, the treatment of her as something akin to a YA protagonist is on the rise.

Both these interpretations are so insulting to the character of Katara, what is wrong with you people?

I'm currently rewatching atla with a focus on Katara as a character (while also trying to give zutara a chance I am doing my best guys) and her childishness is an integral part of her. It's sad to see her treated as an adult by the fandom. And honestly unsettling, especially with how much of like a child she acts.

I wanna finish my rewatch before I give my full ramble on the topic. I also wanna look more into the many different opinions people in the atla fandom have on Katara's treatment by the show. Though even trying to skim the surfce was like injecting lemon juice directly into my tear ducts. Also I really, really don't wanna get sent death threats again.

I want to give the topic of Katara my full attention. However I don't think I'll ever make this post, actually. The atla fandom is a rabid horrid pack of creatures and I'm not sure if I wanna engage with all that.The post would probably bash a lot of things considered key arguments for Zutara, since, looking at Zutara through a child's doesn't exactly scream 'romance' and do I really want that on my blog?

Katara's role as a child isn't valued as much as her role as a woman and I just don't want to deal with people calling me mean names for talking about a little girl being traumatised.

I'd be glad to have a discussion but I made this blog mainly to have fun and enjoy a piece of media I like. I met some truly amazing people whom I can have really great discussions with, even if we don't agree. I don't want to jeopardise that by being a pretentious dick on a soapbox.

Call this and the last few posts I made on Katara me testing the waters.

[jade-len]

no but seriously though, let's say that you've never read svsss and proceeded to transmigrate into pidw as either sqq or one of bunhe's random npc shixiong/shijie. is there anything you guys would've done different from sy?

personally, if i knew that bunhe was going to literally become the embodiment of toxic masculinity, a dictator who collects women as if they were some coins, and a man who's overall just the product of the abuse cycle... i would try my damn hardest to prevent any of that lol.

but, for me, i would not promote a harem or bingge's fucked way of thinking. even if i just transmigrated as some other disciple, there would be absolutely no way i would let bunhe turn into bingge (also because.. why would i let the entire sect continue to abuse him). and, probably not even really bingmei as well? i don't know, i would obviously still protect and befriend him, but i think i'd be much more stricter about teaching bingbing morals, good ethics, mental health, all that jazz.

like, we live in a time where we actually know better about that stuff! might as well pass down our 20th century knowledge, y'know? i know sqq loves binghe the way he is, but if i read pidw i would most definitely not like bingge's character due to airplane's wack writing

(cut under is just me rambling lol)

but if i were to transmigrate as sqq... honestly, it would go two ways for me. genuinely, i think (after the ooc function) i'd just run away from the sect and take on a completely new appearance using magic airplane plant bullshit, find binghe (because i know damn well the abuse wouldn't just stop there.. also because the system will probably still demand for me to be some sort of mentor), then be like that one cool teacher or older brother figure? i'd definitely be more of that instead of a proper shizun. idk, i'd just treat binghe as if he were my little brother

or, since binghe is still bunhe and thus hasn't darkened at all, i would maybe pull him to the side and say that i'm actually not his shizun. probably claim that the real sqq hated teaching (which was why he abused binghe) and kids, so he made a doppelgänger (me) to replace him as he goes to buttfuck anywhere else from here. since i would know of luo binghe's loyalty at least from never having read svsss, i'd tell him to respect sqq's wishes

this is so that binghe would at least know that i'm not shen qingqiu. because remember, in this alternate timeline i only know pidw instead and don't know if binghe would forgive sqq for all the abuse he suffered, so don't blame me for going that route! again, i know that the system would still probably require me to be his mentor for the abyss arc, so i'd have to still stay as bingbing pretty much gets an entirely new person as his shizun. but hey, would he complain? i don't abuse kids and thus won't ever hurt him. plus, i don't think i'd be able to constantly put on a mask and pretend to be sqq, the least i could do is have luo binghe know the "truth"?

look i know that that probably breaks the system's rules, BUT remember, you can negotiate with the system. "well, i'm not revealing my identity as a transmigrator or the system? i'm technically still 'shen qingqiu', im supposed to be a doppelgänger, a copy! remember? so i'm technically him." also, i don't remember any rules about running away and such for the new identity plan, just that binghe still needs a mentor to push him off. i feel like with enough negotiation, i would be able to do this (also yes i know that i wouldn't know about the system not being strict, but i feel like i would figure it out pretty quickly, considering that i bitch a bit and will find a way to back up my argument if I'm really insistent)

speaking about the endless abyss!! yeah no i don't think i would be able to push him off. i think i'd make it abundantly clear that i don't want to, but i'm cursed to "fulfill" a prophecy or something.. either through a bunch of metaphors and stories. or, since system never said i had to full on betray him, just that he needed to be in there, i'd kinda just. tell him to jump and that there was nothing else i could teach him or something. i'll be waiting, bingbing!

and finally: what about if binghe fell in love? ...honestly don't know what i'd do with that. i feel like i'd be more gege material if anything since i'm not super different in age with bingbing, so i'd most likely see him as a friend or younger brother instead of a disciple (and i'd definitely treat him like one too. sorry, i just don't think i'd be able to take my job as a teacher or anything seriously, nonetheless actually teach teach. mentor-ish or bro figure, yeah i could do that. responsible teacher? okay, now you're asking for too much). so maybe? maybe not? i don't even know if i meet binghe's standards (which, admittedly, is kinda low but you get my point). i'd probably wanna kiss liu qingge though lol

[carriesthewind]

i know very little about law, but im gonna be honest, i feel a bit bad for the loduca guy. is it a good look to sign a coworkers work without looking? absolutely not, they are paid to be anal about this stuff. but it feels like such a human thing to do, if you worked with someone for 25+ years, and never had a significant reason to doubt their work, to just kind of visually skim over the thing, and then sign and stample, bc you trust the guy.

and yeah maybe you saw he was having some issues with this case, the opposite side/judge asking for some documents they cant find and therefore think are fabricated, but again, you trust your coworker, trust that they did the job and this is a mistake not on his part, and you probably have your own workload to worry about, your own cases, so you think little of it. idk, while a bit lazy (bad look) it feels like something that would happen at an office, you know?

that being said ive got a feeling those people are not going to be practicing law quite soon. more so i dont recall if the law firm was one of theirs, but i assume even if it's not, it will have a very hard time recovering from this

A bit of a long and rambling answer here on just my own thoughts on the matter, so I'm putting it below the cut!

I do feel some sympathy for him...for the first opposition brief. My sympathy vanishes once he submitted the fake "opinions" to the court.

Because I absolutely get trusting your colleague, especially if you have worked with him for so long. And as lawyers, it is a really serious thing to sign a submission to the court that you haven't at least read - but it is also very a very human thing to do. People, including lawyers, cut corners and make errors all the time.

But part of his problem isn't just that he was skimming and signing something - when you sign a submission as an attorney, you are making a very real (and legally binding - that's the point of Rule 11) promise to the court. LoDuca is still listed as Mata's counsel of record (and his only counsel of record in this case). He told the court that he was representing this dude, and he never really was.

I saw someone - I think on twitter? - say he was covering up for Schwartz practicing law without a license. Which is technically true! But it's also - come on, there is (usually) a practical, if not ethical, difference between letting some random pretend to be lawyer by signing and submitting their documents without supervision, and signing and submitting documents for a colleague in a jurisdiction they aren't admitted to without going through the steps of having him formally act as local counsel, when you know the end result would be the same if you walked through the formal steps. I want to be clear - the second thing is not okay at all, and is very much against the rules. But, I am also 100% confident he's not the only person doing it, and I can the the way that someone would feel like it was a justifiable bending, not breaking of the rules.

But even then, the problem is that as attorneys, we are (supposed to be) held to a high ethical standard. I said this in an earlier post, but when an attorney makes representations to the court, the court takes those very seriously, because we are assumed to be following those ethical standards. If I make a legal or factual representation in a courtroom, there can be immediate and real consequences for people's lives.

It's a self-licensing and a self-policing profession, and we what we do has very serious consequences both on a societal and individual level. Even in a simple case like this originally was, a personal injury negligence case brought by an individual - the complaint says the plaintiff suffered serious, disabling injuries and has been prevented from working, and he is seeking compensation for his medical care and his inability to work. If that's true, this case is about (should have been about) who paid for that needed medical care, the necessities of life.

And I think this case is an example of why those rules can matter - sure, most of the time, someone doing what LoDuca was won't get caught, and maybe it won't matter practically. But part of the reasons we have those rules is to try to prevent - well maybe not this bullshit precisely - bullshit like this from happening. "Other people break the rules too and don't get caught" isn't an excuse.

But again, it still is a very human kind of error, so I still have sympathy. The real problem, for me, is the submission of the fake opinions.

Because once he got the order from the court ordering him to provide copies of the opinions or the case would be dismissed, he must have known something was wrong. That is not a normal order to receive. That order means the court (which has access to all the legal research tools he doesn't) thinks something is very seriously wrong. If he did not read that order and immediately go "Oh fuck" and a) read the defendant's reply and b) realize the cases seem to have been fake, he is not competent to practice law. And I mean that in a very serious way - he has no business practicing in the field with such serious consequences for people's lives if he didn't immediately recognize the problem.

So once he got that order, he has no excuse. At that point, he either consciously perpetrated a lie upon the court; or he is too incompetent to practice.