💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome
:( /pos
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I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.
Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.
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learning that self deprecation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.
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“is that seat taken?” you say, trying to keep your face as straight as possible, which was a hard task to complete under sukuna’s scrutinising gaze.
“that’s my lap, you idiot.”
as much as you try not to, you still stumble over your words as they come out of your mouth quietly, “i know what i said, ‘kuna~”
his brow raises at that, a little more interested than before, as he continues to hold eye contact and spreads his legs wider on the armchair, patting his lap invitingly.
“sit, then.”
and does his lap look inviting. you visibly gulp at the sight of his large, muscular thighs spread so wide the soft corners of the armchair dig into the meat of them. and the grey sweatpants he’s wearing? they don’t conceal a single thing, making it more irresistible for you to jump right onto him.
these inappropriate thoughts have been driving you wild ever since he’s started wearing those at your place too. and sukuna is no idiot, he can tell something else is burning in your pretty eyes whenever they get stuck on him. so he guesses that your strong desire to sit on his lap instead of just gawking at him with a shameful look after is a way for you to satisfy and calm down your mind.
very cute, he thinks. you’re very cute.
you make your way to him quickly, crawling over with your hands on his shoulders as you make sure to settle yourself just right; with your arms around his neck, your chest pressing against his and your legs snug against the sides of his hips.
one of his arms snakes around your waist smoothly while the other slides down onto your thigh, gripping the pliant flesh softly but firmly.
“satisfied?” sukuna asks with a lopsided smirk on his lips, sharp teeth peeking from in-between them.
“yeah~” you sigh breathily and move your hips in an attempt to adjust yourself better, feeling something hard against yourself.
sukuna grips your jaw with a hazy look in his eyes and that’s when you know that you’ve just started a very dangerous game.
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gortash wants you to kill orin and take her netherstones so that the two of you can control the brain and take over the world together but orin wants you to kill gortash and then rob him because she finds him annoying and does not like him. she is the real one here
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i love the (slightly cracky) premise that the newer batkids like duke who weren't around during jason's genuine "i hate the batfam" era would sometimes forget that it even happened so there'd be times where it would go:
Tim: where are you going
Jason: got a call from a friend in the alley, some fuckers need bullets in their knees. tell B and i'll kill you
Tim: no you won't
Jason: i dunno, i almost did it twice, third time's the charm
Tim: boooo you'll have to try harder
Jason, flipping him off as he leaves: watch your back, timmers!
Duke, who was sitting next to Tim the whole time: ??? he almost did it twice???? i thought he's joking when he says that????
Tim: oh, he is joking whenever he says that now. try a few years ago and it wouldn't have been as much of a joke
Duke: ???????????
Tim, snorting: i'd like to see him try again, anyway. once you realise that spends 80% of his free time in the local library he becomes no better than a nerdy loser who happens to be a bit dangerous
Duke: DUDE
Tim: what? do you find jason scary?
Duke: not usually but DUDE?!?!?
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