pr1soners-d1lemma

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

No matter how hard I try, I'll never be noticed.

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[pr1soners-d1lemma]

I'm glad to hear I was able to help. Very glad.

I know its a reflex cuz I do it too, but don't belittle the things that are keeping you alive. If they keep you alive, they're mandatory. They might be "stupid," they might be "small," but those aren't important. The only qualifier that matters is "they work."

I've been playing some anime-girl-clicker-game thingy for a year. It started as a joke and I just kept clicking. Several times now I've postponed... Detrimental things simply because there was an event going on the next day. I don't get to choose what I cling to when I'm in dire need of comfort. If you don't like the fact that you're fixated on packages or movies, remember that there's some dude out there who's only alive because Anime Titties. And I'm still not gonna regret it cuz it worked.

Also, theres a LoZ movie????? No one told me? Wtf? I can't wait

You know what dude, you're so based for that. Like yeah, I think I will look at r34 of Link because what the hell? It makes me happy. I'll stay alive for my packages, hell yeah. And I'll live to see more people drawing my favorite characters taking it up the ass. Do I care that I sound perverted? No. I'm like fujoshi miku if she was transmasc and suicidal and the only thing keeping here alive were her yaoi comms that she bought of her ocs making out.

and hell yeah theres a loz movie coming out. 2027 heh.

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

I'll never understand why people think pure positivity and empty promises will "help" someone who's suicidal, whether actively or passively. They're scared they'll break something without realizing shit's already broken. They easily forget that the best counter to "believe me" is "I don't trust you."

I so desperately want to find some useful argument to help you with whatever the fuck is goin on but honestly dude I'm in the same fucken boat. The only consistent solution I have is to just not trust myself. I am the least reliable narrator I've ever listened to. Six months ago I was convinced I'd end it if my crush didn't respond within a week. Now I couldn't give less of a fuck about where she is or what she's doing. Every new school quarter I think "if I lose one more thing, one more friend, I'm gone." Every break, every loss, every absence, I keep just... being wrong. I'm still here, and it sure ain't because I was suddenly "okay" with my life.

Things might get better. Of fucken course. That's how probability works, and you've evidently decided you don't like those odds. Things might (not) even be different in the future. Those odds aren't reliable either, despite any strangers' assurances that "things will change soon. Probably." I don't intend to insult your intelligence by assuming you haven't considered those possibilities.

Despite all those platitudes, I want to convince you there's a third set of odds you can play: you might get different. You might randomly have less of a need to hold on to something youre losing. You might realize that somehow that thing you're chasing slipped your mind for a minute or hour or day. Your perception could change.

Yeah, I'm probably as biased as that naive rando before me. I don't want you to die, no shit. That's not exactly relevant to my argument. The phrase "not yet" has kept me alive for four years now. When it comes to preventing suicide, "gimme a second" is more useful than "stop that" or "what about me" will ever be. If you can choose whether or not to trust some stranger on the internet, you can probably choose whether or not to trust what your brain is telling you.

Could I just say that this is most likely one of the best things I've read in a while? Genuinely. I agree with the first part, it's very true. And honestly, just from the writing (as a writer myself), I can tell that this was written with good intent. As of right now, the two things that are keeping me going are: 'My Etsy packages are coming! Yay!' and 'The Legend of Zelda movie is coming! Yay!' Super fucking stupid, I know. But it's one of the only things that gets me through the miserable days. I know depending on money isn't going to get me anywhere, and eventually, I'll run out of stuff to spend on Etsy. I should probably find something else to depend on, but for now, I think it's good enough.

Honestly dude, thank you. I genuinely needed to hear this today, it's been a shitty two weeks with my health declining as well as my grades and friends, but it's only a temporary time in my life (hopefully) and things might get better one day. I don't know for sure, but maybe, hopefully one day.

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

You do know life is not a black hole, taking every bit of happiness you once had? I can assure you, it gets better, it's worth it.

you are worth everything it takes

No. No it doesn't. I'm facing health issues, the doctors don't even know what's wrong with me. I don't want to be an adult, I don't want to pay taxes and live that miserable adult life. There's nothing left for me to do once I turn 18.

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

I don't care if he's grooming me, he makes me feel wanted.

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Would you finally notice me if I killed her? Is that what it takes for your love? I'll do anything for you, you don't even know it.

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He will never treat me as well as he treats her.

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I hate men.

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Hi!

I came across your blog, and you seem like a nice person. Plus, we share some interests.

Would you like to be friends?

Uh, as an ice-breaker, who are some characters that you see are often misinterpreted, and are irked by it more than other misinterpretations?

(Sorry I kinda thrive on interaction, please don't mind the randomness of this ask)

OTTO APOCALYPSE. OTTO APOCALYPSE. MY F/O MY BOYFRIEND HE IS SO DEEPLY MISINTERPERATED AND IT PMO SO MUCH. I COULD TALK ABT HOW HES SO BADLY MISCHARACTERIZED BECAUSE HE'S SO WELL WRITTEN AND EVERYONE REDUCES HIM DOWN TO SUCH BAD THINGS OH MY GOOODDDDDD

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

No, you’re not fixing the mentally ill, dude. You’re not some fucking saint of redemption, so get over it.

Don’t act like you’re the savior of all broken souls just because you typed a few kind words on Tumblr. The truth is, people don't owe you their recovery. You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed, and pushing that agenda onto others only makes it worse. Recovery isn't a neat little package wrapped in advice and support posts—it’s messy, painful, and personal. So stop pretending you're the key to someone's healing just because you slapped a 'You matter' sticker on their feed. We can see you're trying to help, but some wounds aren't healed by hashtags and self-help quotes.

They say, "Mental health professionals care about you." But do they? Or are you merely an investment—an asset for the future? Whether you become a smoker, a substance abuser, or just another weary soul suffocating under the weight of existence, you remain a cog in the machine. They care because your suffering fuels an industry—economically, professionally. Not because you, as a person, matter.

School does not prepare you for a career; it conditions you for obedience. It molds you into a well-trained servant of expectation, rewarding compliance and punishing defiance. And yet, people believe the system is built for their well-being. No, darling, it is built for its own survival. Mental health professionals care that you are alive—but not that you are living. There is a difference.

If true care were the foundation of this system, why are those who need only a little effort to heal instead confined to sterile white rooms, left to unravel further? It is not about healing. It is about preservation—preserving the cycle, preserving the economy, preserving the illusion of sanity. They do not care if you lose your mind, so long as you do not lose your pulse.

Would they call me a 'hopeless case' if I were wrapped in wealth? No. They would call it "progress," even if nothing changed. Money has a way of turning despair into "resilience." And if they did abandon a rich patient as hopeless, well—either they had exhausted every possible cent from them, or the abyss inside was simply too vast to be monetized.

It is not about humanity. It is about perception. Who cares if an 11-year-old boy carves his pain into his skin? Who cares if a 17-year-old girl trades her body for the illusion of love? Who cares if a 7-year-old is tormented by a body that does not feel like their own? Who cares if a 36-year-old woman surrenders to her hallucinations because reality is too unbearable? Who cares if a 21-year-old man is drowning in visions so vivid they become indistinguishable from truth? Who cares if a 61-year-old woman clings to the ghost of her son, longing to follow him?

The list is endless. The suffering is endless. And yet, none of it matters—not unless it becomes a headline, a viral sensation, a story fit to be consumed and discarded by the masses. Only then does the world pretend to care.

So spare me the naive platitudes. "Mental health professionals care about you!" they say. No. Most care only about keeping you just functional enough to keep the system running. After all, a dead investment yields no returns.

But who cares? I am just a dreamer, adrift in a delusion—swaying in the direction the world has already chosen for me.

And for those of you who try to 'save' those here with savior complex:

Stop trying to fix people. We’re not some fucking shattered vases waiting for your glue. We're not broken objects for you to repair with your shallow understanding of 'healing.' Our struggles are not puzzles for you to solve or wounds for you to mend with empty words. We don’t need you to put us back together in the image you deem acceptable. We're not here for your redemption complex, and we don’t owe you our healing on your timeline.

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

ay cool stories bro

any idea where you're gonna publish them? I use AO3 simply because I have no better option

Should I publish them..? Would anyone actually read them?

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

......... Will you be dropping the link to aforementioned stories?

Of course, I'm gonna say "oh, well, I'm no stranger to writing about unsavory topics" but honestly I don't intend to underestimate anything about your work so I will estimate nothing instead to get around that

I'm currently rewriting them with a friend right now to make them far better than how they were last year, but I do have a few chapters done!

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

Give me horror movies to watch that are like Silent Hill <3

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You ask, I respond

Interactions abound

Do you write (prose, poetry, programming, etc.)

Yes! I do actually! I consider myself something of a writer, though my stories seem to have a.. select audience, noted by how some were rather disturbed by them!

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

Yay, it works :)

What’s your favourite song atm and what is your favourite food?

Fav song atm is def To Ashes and Blood from Arcane!

As for food, pretty much anything sweet! I love love love sweets ^^

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

Your mother is a fucking fatass ew

reblog if your bmi is lower than my mothers