#< Adult Red I mean. I think it would be super funny if kid Red was tiny and baby faced his whole life and then just shot up CRAZY late

[sharkface]

Favorite thing in pokemon is when a male character is clearly designed an intended to be ripped but since gamefreak are pussies once you actually look at them or stand them next to anyone else they are some of the most twinkish little men imaginable. Thank you for the suggestion beloved but I will not be drawing him muscleless with 0% body fat and then saying he's So Stronk!

[misqnon]

sanji and pudding are cute together as completely platonic friends.. like he is a good FRIEND for her. i think she just needs someone in her life who isnt going to ridicule her for her eye and . like. fully accepts her. and that is who sanji is.

i wouldn't have an issue if it was just like. a one sided crush either. which it kind of is but i don't trust oda to have those intentions. i know its realistic to have kids crush on older people,, and i think its interesting to portray that as long as the adult isnt being creepy and weird. like u can have an adult that is accepting of the kid who's crushing on them. and the adult is also like "this is never going to happen. u should find someone your own age, that would be healthier". it is inherently pretty uncomfortable to have a kid crush on you i would assume, but they could still have a healthy relationship

i also want all the straw hats there!! i dont think i'll be satisfied if they arent all there..

THATS OK IT WAS STILL INTERESTING!!

this is so funny, i actually watched that video a while ago (passively. as in i was actually trying to sleep and also listen at the same time). but YEAH i think he is so right... the charm .. the something that zoro has. is not there. thank GOD i didnt miss the fuck...

NOT THE MAD WORLD REFERENCE

oh for sure the like 3 layers of translating is probably a big reason for the awkwardness. i (personally) think he has autistic energy outside of that one interview (i think i was kinda unclear which is why i am . bringing it back up) but . ofc. i am not going to diagnose a man I dont know anything about LOL

no shame in this household!!!! there is already plenty to go around

VERY ASEXUAL FRIENDS SEEING UR HORNY POSTING.... SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE. my very asexual friend does not use social media thank god. i .. i could never let her see me like this ... for her own sake..

u also forgor ur gender for a bit thats so funny..

im very thankful there are at least a FEW nsfw questions about men in the sbs... equality!! but we must strive for equity.. sexualize the men 3x more /hj

i have a friend who knows a bit of japanese but i always feel so bad relying on ppl who know other languages LOL. like.. im sorry ... our friendship means so much more to me than ur job as my translator sometimes... but i think the foreign fans use a translator app, bc im pretty sure oda has said the wording is wonky because of the translator

ive seen a bit of trixie and katya!! im at least familiar with who they are. at my highschool (that i went to for only the last two years i was in school) we had some drag queens come to school for a show.. it was interesting. i had never seen drag in person. and then we also had a drag show with students which wasnt as involved

"for legal reasons (haha get it)" LOL

perfect representation of a sanji courtroom. since u are sanji magistrate ur word is law. literally.

oda can have credit .. as a treat.

it IS compelling tbh but it's. as u kinda said. its mostly just mentioned briefly and then not brought back up. i do NOT want to see it come to fruition.... if they killed each other.... me next

"I WOULD LIKE CROSS GUILD AS A POLY SHIP MORE IF IT DIDNT FEEL MEAN WITH HOW OFTEN THEY BEAT UP ON BUGGY AND ALSO BC I THINK BUGGY BELONGS WITH MR. RED HAIR." YEAH EXACTLY!!!!! i too love a one sided ship. shuggy angst is literally so good.. wait til u catch up theres a . theres a moment. theres a shuggy moment that is SO angsty. they have so many problems they should just kiss and that would solve everything!

"OH NO BRO….HANNYAGELLAN…ITS HAPPENING…"

i also heard abt the falling down the stairs meaning suicide thing, but i only heard abt it super recently. ur right she wouldnt have done that!! she was finally feeling like. things were looking up . because of zoro!! he helped her feel better!! n then she died. i agree that he probably sees a promise as an ironclad thing. he would literally die for a promise he made. he definitely isnt stupid either, and is generally pretty untrusting of new people

SHARING FANFIC U WROTE???? :D

"Dreams. Ambitions. Drive. Do what that day stole from Kuina. Defeat Dracule Mihawk. Become the world’s greatest swordsman- for both of them." i love this part

"This isn’t a good sign for his current navigational endeavors." HE GOT LOST..... that made me laugh

"Kuina. He doesn’t think of her as often as some might think. He doesn’t dwell on the past, only reflects on it." accurate for zoro!!!!

i feel sad for him :( he sounds a bit. regretful? is that a word.. thnk u for sharing i lov .. i love .. when ppl share their art with me.. thank u..

"but do i ever actually make those things….no. i do not" psh... typical..... /lh

oh boy im so excited to take ibuprofen with u!!!!

"its just. SO COOL!!!! TO SEE PEOPLE ACT WITH SUCH PASSION AND PORTRAY EPIC STORIES..RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! LIVE!!" YOU GET IT!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!! NO ONE EVER GETS IT ... U GET IT!!!

yes u got me i like sanji now 😔😔😔😔😔 congrats on converting me😮‍💨 /lh. ill send u another 4kids sanji video to get back at u for this *shakes my fist in rage*

i love seonghwa!!! (obviously!!! since im ot8 !!!)

THE LAW PUN... I DINDT NOTICE AT FIRST .... im so glad u have the hawaiian shirt comic saved. i have multiple pictures of him saved and i refuse to delete them despite my phone storage being rly low.. and im not doing anything with them. im just attached.

look at how much i talk about him... im normal . its only been a month and a half since i restarted one piece and i hadnt talked abt him at all before that.. im normal.

ok my law thought s are.. well the most recent thought . was actually. uh.

yeah this was a normal thought. for sure.

this was the thought that led to that .

i just think u could have a lotta fun with his powers. outside of making abstract art. i want to know what its like to be law . in body. he is tall. and like. i would be able to teleport himself and other things.. which is a big thing when u can't get enough energy to get out of bed. and i have food allergies so i could eat whatever i want.. and i wouldnt have periods... i would automatically be stronger bc he has muscles. yeah.. i wish i could experience all that.

and that is all for now bc i think those r ...intense.. thoughts... to have... or maybe they arent, i dont really have an understanding of what is normal

"i wonder if it relates to his backstory and the possible trans-ness of it?" i was kinda thinking this too.. or like maybe it had something to do with his childhood or something. idk. croc backstory when!!

"he’s after freedom and what use is it if u destory the freedom of others while searching for it for yourself?" YEAH!!! U WORDED IT WELL,,

"HIS 4DUB VOICE PAINS ME PHYSICALLY" *sends another video* (i am actually going to do this but i was planning to anyways so dont feel pressured to watch it or respond LOL)

"i have a playlist where i put my fav one piece shits."

D:!!

crying, sobbing at the fact u know abt nika

ok honestly if it was just a bug collection... that would be so cute ... the one piece was the bugs we met along the way

"so i think it might be related to…joyboy/nika/ the SUN…i think maybe its like a. a hat maybe. thats my guess. sun hat. from the original joy boy. its not a good guess but its all i HAVe"

take this how u will

bartolomeo... maybe he is called the cannibal bc he has big teeth... or maybe its his name from when he was beating ppl up all the time as a .. gang leader? or whatever he was? maybe he "cannibalized" other groups??

end of the e-letter is for memes now

very very true. when she was sobbing after i left i actually felt so so bad for her ;-; like someone PLEASE get her out of there!! god SAME FOR REIJU. sanji got to escape but reiju and pudding are both stuck with their respective shit abusive families…it sucks. i hope we get to see both of them doing better by the end of the series!!

“i wouldn't have an issue if it was just like. a one sided crush either. which it kind of is but i don't trust oda to have those intentions.” YEA I MADE A POST ABOUT THIS (i think i accidentally queued it) BUT. YEA I DOUBT HE DOES 🙃 looks at shirahoshi. looks at rebecca

ITS A MAAAAAD WOROORORRLDLDL

also nodding my head no problem i got what u meant about inaki

UR RIGHT NO SHAME….PUTS MY YAOI PROUDLY ON THE FRIDGE

i still need to finish the opla video. i watch it while i eat lmao

OKAY HE HASNT MENTIONED IT SO I HOPE HE JUST DIDNT SEE IT OR. WILL NEVER BRING IT UP. its funny u say that tho bc my OTHER ace friend very supportively read this vampire zosan fic i wrote and they’re in their own words like violently ace and also sex repulsed and i WARNED THEM that there was a sex scene in that chapter i WROTE A CHAPTER NOTE AT THE BEGINNING WARNING SO and they STILL accidentally read it and texted me SO CONFUSED AND THEN EMBARASSED THEY WERE LIKE “its hot in the room?? wait i dont get it?? 🤨 - WAIT. OH NO-” funniest shit ive ever seen in my life. literally “hey. be careful dont look at that.” “huh? [staring blindly at sun]

actually every nsfw sbs question asked about the men was me. it was all me. next i will be asking the size of katakur- [gunshots]

KJSBDKJ I HAVE TWO FRIENDS THAT SPEAK FRENCH (ONE A NATIVE SPEAKER AND ONE WHO MAJORED IN IT AND NOW LIVES IN FRANCE. WITH THE OTHER FRENCH FRIEND) and when writing scenes where sanji spoke french i was too embarrassed to ask either of them for help but they bullied me into letting them help 😭😭😭 so i feel u so hard 😭😭😭

and ur right, i actually just read a chapter where someone did that from vietnam i believe (they used a machine translator)

i love drag sm!! u made me remember how much i liked it and i watched some more drag clips yesterday lmao. 

okay in terms of the death pact thing i feel like oda drops those things and always comes back to them…i DONT WANT THEM TO FIGHT EITHER BUT ALSO I SOOOO DO. kinda like how reading whole cake island ws painful for me but also i loved it. but i will need to wait a bit before reading it again. i dont think theyre gonna kill each other tho. i think itll be a moment that brings them to a better understanding of each other/their relationship. i dont mean that in a zosan way just literally in canon as crewmates. and i think it will be JUICY bc those bitches have been bickering for over 20 years…and then finally theres a big ultimate final zoro vs sanji battle like dudebros always clamor about. i want to see a setup where they’re forced to face the fact that they dont get along but still care for each other but also what to do when faced with a choice like that against someone you hate but also care for. and what zoro will do. bc i genuinely have a feeling zoro will fight him to the fucking end but not kill him when it comes down to it. even though zoro keeps promises like they’re oaths…so. i think it may be an outside element that stops the Murder from occuring. zoro may or may not actually attempt it KDSNC. its so fun to think about to me. im so ready 

shuggy moment? 👁️i know oda would not make any gay ship canon (probably most ships tbh) but why does shuggy feel like one of the most likely to me. in a weird way. KADJNFVDK. you know how in the og visual novel for clannad the “bad end” was a gay ending with your male best friend. that is canon shuggy to me. oda doing it kinda halfheartedly in a roundabout way for laughs but the fandom is popping bottles (we popping the BIGGEST bottles when shuggy happens tomorrow-)

on zoro and promises and etc etc…do u think zoro will get more development of him as a character by the end of the story? zoro is a character that’s beautiful in his simplicity but sometimes i want to know him more you know?? he’s kinda mysterious in a closed off way even tho we know what he’s about and. i wanna know more abt him. put him in more fucked up situations. i wanna see zoro suffer in a way that isnt just a tough battle.

im glad u liked it !! :D thank u!!

HAHAHAHA SANJI CONVERT !!! LET’S SEXUALIZE THAT BLONDE MAN ‼️(priorities 🫡) (the 4kids sanji video will get back at me. it will. i will suffer but i will do it.)

i have so many random op images saved in my phone…not to mention my laptop’s screenshot folder…WAIT THAT REMINDS ME JFDBVSJD i have an internship at an art gallery and i need a laptop for the job so i use my own but its my personal laptop.. and once i had to test a powerpoint but i dont have word so i had to use my personal google slides account and WHILE CONNECTED to a GIANT PROJECTOR…THIS briefly flashed on the screen before i frantically clicked away. no one saw but i. i did. (for reference this was for pwp night. and i have still nbot finished it)

i dont talk about sanji in my friend discord server bc None Of Them Watch One Piece but in my dms with my other op friend…let’s look.

on god

this is from both of us together. BUT STILL

(nodding) no go on what animal parts

law’s powers are SO fun. i wish he switched ppls bodies more often!! its such a fun trope its such a guilty pleasure for me!! also room is just. such a cool ability. i love teleportation characters (thinks about nightcrawler from xmen…my blue king). also THAT LAW COMIC I MENTIONED U IN THE TAGS. JHFVBDKAS THE FOURTH PANEL WHERE ITS JSUT THE SEA CREATURES AND HIS DEAD FACE DOING THE ROOM POSE GETS ME EVERY DAMN TIME

is law tall?? i guess he just seems short in comparison to like. doffy. (looks it up) DAMN THIS BITCH IS 6’3??? 

also funny law story i just remembered. sometimes i sell my art at gay art markets. and one time. at a halloween themed one. there was . this random law cosplayer. which yea its halloween thats a costume but for future reference i want to be clear this was like the only anime cosplay. everyone else was like cartoons or monsters or fairies or cats or some shit. well the law cosplayer is set up right across from me and i had JUST started my one piece hyperfixation so i was Extra Crazy abt it and i was literally flipping out so nervous but excited so i dragged myself over and was like “omg…hi…i love ur law cosplay….i just got into op and i havent met him yet but i see him everywhere…” and they were super nice!! but then. later. i go visit my friend’s booth. and . the ONLY other anime cosplay at the entire event…WAS A SECOND TRAFALGAR LAW. STANDING AT MY FRIEND’S BOOTH. I WAS LIKE ??? anyway i pointed them towards each other after fangirling for a hot moment and they took a pic together. it was very fun

ur thoughts are not intense or strange…well maybe they are strange to others but i am also insane. i promise. i love ur insane thoughts pls continue to share. i will do the same someday when i am less shy and ashamed of my unhinged fandom thoughts (such as making zoro amvs to abba in my head on the way to therapy. <- things that should be in the dsm-5 as a criteria. ps. thats a line my therapist actually said in response to something i did once. lmao)

did u notice that in the opla…they have all the characters who were at rogers execution there as their younger selves (mihawk, shanks,etc) AND THERE’S A AFAB PERSON WHO’S DRESSED SUSPIOCIOUSLY LIKE CROCODILE…I WAS LIKE OH SHIT)

i am going to watch the next 4kidd dub video. i will do it for you. (losing years off my life each time)

WOOPS THE PLAYLIST WAS PRIVATE try it now. if you watch any one video from that list. and this one is short. please make it this one. I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME

OH ALSO. APPARENTLY AT COACHELLA. THAT MIKU PERFORMANCE WAS *ALSO* A TV SCREEN. ISNT THAT SAD. PATHETIC!!

lmao. i was talking to my caught up friend about op spoilers today and he wouldnt confirm or deny so many things i said. lmao. rofl, even

“take this how u will” IM SCARED

end of the e letter IS for memes now you’re so correct

p.s…i know discord is a Le PooPooHead esp recently BUT if you want to add me my username is the same as it is here!! feel free but no pressure

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. The wild part to me about the "Persephone got approved Underworld citizenship" is it took what, a week at most? Even if you want to use IRL Royal examples, someone like Megan Markle would (if she had kept up the process) still need two YEARS to get approved of it at minimum which includes a lot of paperwork and staying in the country for prolonged time, but Persephone gets it in a few days with no process? Is there really nothing Persephone doesn't get handed to her on a silver platter?

2. "How to be a woke misogynistic :Add white before woman" I think this anon was tryna call antis misogynistic?? Which like. Some of the "criticism" ive seen is just people using lo as an excuse to be misogynistic against rs but most of it is genuine idk what they're going on abt 😭

3. ya know for claiming to be a "loving and supportive fandom with no drama" lo fans are by far the most cruel set of bullies i've ever seen, and I've been in a LOT of intense fandoms. and I can't even handwave these fans as just dumb kids, many of them are adult women who made a mid webcomic their entire world and would rather get a power high off the harassment and bullying of others who dare no obsess over what they do while still thinking they're "feminists". it's so weird 💀

4. Lol I love that the person typed that 'regular' people just drop it and move on when they dislike something. Apparently you're no longer a regular person for disliking and discussing a piece of media 😔

Anyway, LO can bite it. It's misogynistic and an insult to Greek culture among many other glaring flaws. The giant red flag of an age gap and power dynamic between them is one hell of a thing to defend y'all, and it's also a hell of a thing to praise 1 character for cheating but cheer on another character for doing the exact same thing 🙃🙃🙃

Also it's incredibly funny to me how LO stans are so so aggressive and condescending to us about disliking it when we're just minding our own business?? We ain't talking to you nor do we go out of our way to mess with your tags (tumblr is tumblr, y'know) unlike a few of y'all that I've seen specifically use the anti tag to start shit like a bunch of brats. We'll continue minding our own business talking about LO with both non-fans and fans who actually want to have a discussion instead of mindlessly praising it, and y'all should mind your own business. 

5. This comic loves to claim it’s pro sexuality, pro kink, and pro female empowerment AND anti purity culture yet loves nothing more than framing sex outsides of Hades as bad, loves to push Purity culture to make Persephone look like the best woman ever, loves tearing other women down for not being the “right” type of woman, and consistently shames others’ consenting sex lives as gross and weird despite the whole comic being an obvious stretched out mess of Rachel’s office setting DDLG kink. Like??

6. I mean I get why LO Hera doesnt murder babies and all but it is an issue RS rides off "I'm not trying to be accurate!" when she makes Hades the "perfect" guy and Hera and Persephone the most desirable/amazing with zero flaws but then turns around and goes "oh well I'm being accurate!" to make Zeus be super mega awful and just make up stuff to pin on Apollo, Leto, and Thetis like?? you can't have it both ways?? Like she obvs picks and chooses who gets to be whitewashed and who doesnt.

7. Go figure LO fans to make Netflix all but closing down their entire animation department and laying off hundreds of people to STILL make it all about LO. I have countless friends who lost their jobs all en-masse with no warning and a neutered severance plan (NF purposely made it be four WEEKS instead of four MONTHS), the majority of them and their productions by BIPOC and/or LGBTQ+ creators and they're only worried over well-off and employed Rachel? Fuck off. I'm so upset over this.

8. Completely and utterly disappointed at LO being nominated for an Eisner again. I think Webtoon has the power to just nominate it every year and ignore all of their other series.

9. Listen we all know every award is just marketing and we know damn well Webtoons just pumps the with money to nominate LO but we know damn well they're giving way more money to pump up their brand now because the Batman comic is so lazily made yet was ALSO nominated for best webcomic and they're like "one of our BIGGEST HITS big ethel energy is being printed!" despite it being one of their most hated series that is lampooned for bad art and writing. anyway they need to be taxed more.

10. HXP is such boring, basic mythology shipping. Get back to me when they give Isis x Osiris and Dionysus x Ariadne the respect they deserve.

[glitchyred]

Could I ask for some more info on Glitchy Red: Retold? I don't really have a specific thing to ask, so you can just talk about anything you want.

Hi I think this has been in my inbox since I posted a now-deleted thing saying "there is never a bad time to ask me about glitchy red retold". Unfortunately you hit the 0.01% chance of it being a bad time to ask me about glitchy red retold and then I completely forgot about this ask for like forever OOPS anyway I'm here now.

It's a little bit hard for me 2 infodump about things without Direction so here's some random unorganized trivia off the top of my head, some of which is just stuff that would've applied to the semi-canon (stuff that's only canon if you, the reader, want it to be) like the scrapped ask blog and Glitchy Red Reborn;

RED's favorite Pokémon is Charizard by default. If he was from a Blue or Yellow cartridge, his favorite Pokémon would've been Blastoise or Pikachu respectively. In reality he doesn't have a favorite Pokémon, he tries not to feel anything in particular about the Pokémon his players catch anymore

With the exception of background tiles, visual corruptions in the game are shorthand for blood, bruising, and gore. This kid has seen some shit man (also this means that retold!RED isn't . Well. "Glitchy" like people tend to draw og Glitchy. If he was "glitching" he would just be Bleeding lmfao)

RED would not lash out against younger players, even if they used destructive glitches or cheat codes. His quarrel is solely with adults

RED's general awareness and feelings towards his world, while now warped by his sapience, is dependant on how his player feels towards the game. He only started to become jaded and aware of the fact that he was in a game because of his players' growing disinterest and inability to immerse themselves. Theoretically, if someone played his game and made stuff like MissingNo part of the worldbuilding, they wouldn't feel out of place or as scary to him anymore

RED can feel muted physical sensation through the console he is inhabiting. He can feel the warmth of the sun or of the players' hands, and in Reborn the Narrator buys him stuffed animals and he can actually feel how soft they are to some degree. On a surface level this is very creepy but you get used to it

In-universe (not in-game) RED is not the only one of his kind but he is one of the most uh. Developed cases of Pokémon characters gaining sentience . Don't worry about it

Speaking of RED being really fucking weird, he (or his cartridge) is basically immortal. This one Super doesn't apply to the original story if you don't want it to (except for being hinted at; reread the first description of the cartridge again rq. Yeah.) since it can be kind of silly out of context, but it's also the whole basis for the semi-canon. His cart endlessly restores itself from all damage, though only ever to the extent that it's just barely playable. It would eventually be revealed that if RED was ever truly happy and at peace, he would lose his immortality (which is a good thing. He does Not want to be immortal lmfao)

Uhh last thing he's autistic. This is true for every Red ever but I just thought I would canonize this here this one's not optional DJAJDJAJDJ (this would've been explored more in the ask blog and Is explored a bit more in Reborn but because the formatting of Pokepastas is limiting and he's kind of in a Gameboy Game in a Constant State of Being Retraumatized this can't really come across in the og story rip)

AND one quick fun fact : I wrote the ending of the story First. In my notes app on impulse and then wrote the entire story to lead up to That Moment. I just think it's funny because I like NEVER do stuff like that I barely even heavily plan my stories ahead of time

Hope this lightning-round infodump was to your liking!

[hannimite]

Mortox has gone off the deep end. She actually implied that it was Alida's fault that Bill took on The Crow remake because "she baby trapped him" and he had to stay in Sweden "and pay attention to her". So which is it Mortox? Is he trapped in Sweden or does he always travel and never spend time with Alida and the kids? She contradicts herself at every turn. She doesn't like that he's doing The Crow remake, so now that has to be Alida's fault as well. But if Bill behaves in a manner that she approves of, then Alida had nothing to do with it. That's all Bill. Utterly unhinged.

By the way, she's reading your blog because she all of a sudden is making a note of how amazing Bill is with kids and that he's not an asshole.

I'm glad more and more fans are seeing through her obvious lies. She doesn't understand how normal interpersonal relationships work. She is either very young (14-16), or has trouble interpreting adult life in a logical way. Just the shit she said about the kids in the past makes it very likely that she is either a young teen without her prefrontal cortex fully developed, or she has never been around young kids in her entire life, or worse, she has no emotional connection with other people, especially children. Almost how a narcissist would see a child as competition. It is absolutely not normal how she views the parent/child relationship. Come to think of it, Alida and the kids are the only real competition for his affection. Hmmm. Makes you think there's a reason behind her seething jealousy and rage.

This is how Mortox sees things...

For example

Objective Facts: Bill is on location shooting a movie. Few images from the shoot appear online. Maybe only one or two images of Bill hanging with production or fans. No photos of Alida and the kids.

How an adult interprets that: Bill's on location. Maybe his family came to visit. Maybe not. Maybe he flew home, maybe not. I hope he had fun.

How Mortox interprets that: Bill doesn't love Alida and the kids!!!! Why aren't they with him? She does nothing all day, she could be there all the time and if she isn't then it means they aren't together!

But if there's a photo that appears of Bill and Alida, then her reaction changes to: he is there out of obligation and looks miserable! Yeah, you know how so many adult men with an international career are FORCED to waste time in their day by spending it with people they loathe? You know how that happens all the time?🙄

Thank you for giving his real fans a platform to defend his kids and Bill's choices.

The real joke here is that most of us don't actually give a shit about Alida. But as fans, you can't let other fans destroy the fandom by spreading vicious lies and attacking Bill's family.

Wouldn't it be funny if The Crow was a smash hit and the critics didn't pan it?😂 Oh and if Alida walks the red carpet with Bill. That would push her over the edge. What is she going to say then? He was forced there by gunpoint?

No honestly she is so desperate and delusional, her opinions switch up so fast. And honestly she should read my blog, hope she sees how many people hate her, see how many people can finally voice their opinion without being judged and called liars. We all know she has like 1 million accounts so I wouldn’t be surprised if she is reading this.

And with B filming and not being with her, that doesn’t mean he hates his kids, she makes him out to be this horrible man who hated his wife and kids. For all we know he isn’t tied to his kids, but actually spends time with them and A, doesn’t dread family time.

I’ve heard some fucked up shit about mortox, she degraded people, someone said they met B and A in America before and they were super sweet, and of course she goes on about how “they didn’t” and “they are lying” which she can’t prove, and neither can the anon, but, doesn’t mean she has to literally straight up make lies about what people say.

I’m glad I can make my blog a platform for you guys to say what you want, if you like A, com, if you don’t like her, cool, I won’t judge you. It’s just about time someone called her out, she’s been shit talking for too long and I’ve barely seen her respond to her hate comments.

[big-tiddy-bi]

Y’all I have another idea for an undertale fic

If you want to write this please do

but send me a link when it’s posted

So we have the main 10 boys all living together outside the city/large town right and they each meet a cutie,

Sans meets his cute human while at the park with frisk. The humans dog just runs up to frisk and that’s how they meet

Blue and papyrus meet theirs at an arcade, maybe they team up for laser tag against some mean people. Instant friends

Red meets his on the street, some ahole insults him and be for he can respond a human stands up for him. the ahole insults they way the human is dressed so red and human team up to verbally destroy this ahole.

Mutt was at the art store when a cute human asked him if he could get them something from the top shelf. They get to talking they show each other their art, and get coffee

Stretch was in line at a book signing. He and the person in line behind him start to talk about the books they like and after they get their books signed they exchange numbers

Black goes to a small bakery/coffee shop to review it for his surprisingly popular food blog. The owner’s adult kid (who runs the shop part time for their parents) is super sweet just like the food. Black knows that they are being genuine from his years in the Guard. The food is great and he soon becomes a regular. He didn’t day dream about what their life together would be like while drinking the coffee they gave him what are you talking about.

Edge runs into his at the pet store. He brought doomfanger so that the cat could pick out its own clothes. The little matchmaker that he is doomfanger jumps of edge and walks along the shelf’s so it can curl up around the neck of this poor human who just wants to get some food for their dog and other pets. Edge begrudgingly becomes friends with the human because if doomfanger likes them there has too be a reason.

Ht sans and papyrus (idk what nicknames to give them) meat them when they spot an angelic human in a clearing in the woods having a picnic with their dog, the human sees them but instead of being scared the human instead invites they to sit and eat. The human follows the law of “if the dog likes a person they are good, never trust a person a dog doesn’t trust” so sense they dog wasn’t scared of these two giants they shouldn’t be either.

The joke is basically that the cute person is the same person for all of them but they don’t realize this for far to long.

Y/N dresses differently depending on the mood or the occasion.

(I felt like this part was cringing, but in a bad way so it’s gone)

Black talking about his brother mutt? The y/n just thinks it’s a common monster name

Red complains about some “orange bastard” and his “shitty romance books”? The humans like reds not talking about stretch, why would he be plenty of people like the colors orange and like romance books

They only find out when one of them invites there friend over for game night (blue and papyrus knew all along but they thought not telling anyone would be funny. They were correct)

Then you got another problem. If all of them have a crush on the same person who gets to date the human? High jinks ensue.

No sadness…unless 👀 but that is up to you if you write it. I might but that has like a 99.999999999999999371% chance of not happening

All spelling errors are unintentional and I didn’t reread this it’s just a stream of consciousness sorry

[nappingwithyuuji]

headcanon idea: yuuji as a dad would be a mix of gojo & nanami. he's a responsible dad but not a super responsible adult. lol.

Okay listen, i think i can't do short drabbles so this is whatchu get lol (it's got more of a gojo vibe than nanami srryyy) (ps: aki means bright & i felt like it was fitting for our sunshine's child) I title it:

SPUD || dad!yuuji x fem!reader (1k, fluff) masterlist - taglist “Daddy, look!” A little voice chirps out excitedly, as their little feet stomp back towards the circular couch where Yuuji was watching. He held out his hand out and received an adorably soft high five.

“Good job, baby!” Words of encouragement left his mouth like second nature. He helped his five year old child up onto the plastic covered cushions of the couch that separated their lane from the other ones in the bowling alley. Aki reached out to grab one of the french fries on the table and smashed it into his mouth hungryly.

Yuuji chuckled at the child’s eagerness and passed him a tissue so they could clean themselves up before he offered them a sip from their boxed apple juice. Aki comfortably sipped their juice while with one hand gesturing for his father to go play.

The brightest and happiest cry joined the crashing sound of pins a few feet away, making Yuuji turn around and give his supportive child a funny face. He stuck out his tongue and closed his eyes while Aki giggled at his father’s antics. 80’s themed lighting and decor made Aki’s round face and pink curly hair lit up with shades of purple and blue.

Yuuji wished he could snip a quick picture of his child in all his cheerful and innocent glory, he palmed the pockets of his jeans only to be met with disappointment. Instead, he decided to keep making funny faces as he slowly walked towards their booth, just so he could elicit more gleeful cries from Aki and try to commit them to memory.

Both father and child sat with their legs touching enjoying the hectic ambiance of their favorite bowling alley for a few more seconds, their game having ended after Yuuji’s last turn. One of his hands moved to bring the child to sit on his lap for a quick cuddle.

Aki snuggled up against his father and Yuuji desperately craved the power to freeze time just so that he could enjoy the peace his kid brought to him. Even though these father-child dates happened once a week (or at least Yuuji tried), he felt like they weren’t enough. With his line of work, missions could keep him away from you and his child for days on end, but no amount of sleep deprivation or injuries could keep him from coming home and taking Aki for a play date.

“Hey, don’t you go snoozing on me, kid.” He said, moving one of his hands to tickle underneath the bright yellow tutu Aki had decided to wear over his black leggings. “You gotta stay up just a bit longer so that you can say hi to mommy when she comes to pick us up, okay?”

His child nodded, and like a know-it-all being that Yuuji joked around that you were, the phone in Yuuji’s fannypack started to vibrate. “Hello, who’s speaking?” He put on a serious face and looked at Aki with an eyebrow quirked upwards in an exaggerated gesture. “Well, I don’t know who you are but I must let you know that I have my own wife picking me and my kid up and she won’t like seeing me with another woman so, good night.” After saying that, Yuuji faked an indigned huff and ended the phone call.

Hushed giggles left the small body in his lap as Aki hid his laughter by smothering his face in Yuuji’s red hoodie. After ruffling Aki’s hair and wrapping his strong arms around their small frame, Yuuji stood up, lifting his little kid with no effort whatsoever. “Can I have your jacket, daddy?” Aki’s voice was quiet and almost shy.

Yuuji gently placed the kid on the ground and grabbed his own black denim jacket on top of their little shoulders. Even though the jacket was meant for someone 20 years older and with much more muscle than them, they started twirling around as they tried to get their tiny arms to fit inside the jacket’s armholes. “Will you be cold?” They asked, looking up with a small frown on their face.

Instead of answering, once Yuuji had crossed the belt of his lime green corduroy fanny pack across one arm and his neck, he simply picked up the child sized purple hoodie and tied its arms around his neck. “What do you mean? I’ve got this lovely hoodie to keep me warm and toasty,” Aki’s frown disappeared instantly and they reached for their father’s hand, “Now let’s go meet mom outside, yeah?”

Once outside, Yuuji sat down on the curb of the street while he looked at his child as they ran around the parking lot with his jacket. After a few demonstrations of what they had learned at their dance class this week, a pair of headlights came to a stop a few feet away and a honk made Yuuji’s head snap in its direction.

“Looking for a ride, handsome man?” Your voice jokingly purred as you opened your door and climbed out of the car, not really caring about not having even parked. Yuuji got up so quickly that his head spinned from being too tall, but he pushed that aside and walked slowly towards you. With a hand on his pockets, he swayed his hips as if he were John Travolta in Grease and you were his Sandy.

Once you were in his reach, he looped one finger on your belt loop and brought you in for a kiss. The warmth on your lips made him break out into a big smile, which, consequently, made you copy him. You teased his lower lip with your tongue and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. The slow and languid kiss was interrupted by a small body collapsing against the side of your thighs.

Yuuji broke the kiss and looked downwards to see Aki wrapping their short denim covered arms around your legs, “Whatchu’ think, spud? Do you want this lady to be your mommy?” You snorted at his comment, only to let another chuckle as you saw Aki’s confused face.

[swtki]

HP Boys: Surprise Pregnancy Head Cannons

Summary: The HP boys and their reaction to their s/o (afab) being pregnant when its not planned.

A/N: This takes place post Hogwarts so all characters are 18+, though no real smut happens in this so its not an 18+ fic.

WARNINGS: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF PRO CHOICE OPINIONS, MENTIONS OF SEX IN LITE TERMS, SWEARING, FLUFF, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, ALSO THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY LOL

Draco

So everything is going great for the happy couple, you two just moved into a flat together and are working normal jobs, drinking wine like adults.

And sure, Draco knows he wants to marry you, but he knows you’re not ready to settle down like that so he just plans and dreams.

Due to poor choices, when you’re late by two weeks, you know what it probably is.

Draco doesn’t even notice that you ran out to the store and came back and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. CEO of minding his own business ig

You just kinda...walk up to him and hand him all 3 tests while your eyes fill with tears because what if he demands you get an abortion?

Or what if he fucks off to god knows where?

But instead he just looks at you with the most un-draco like smile. Like his face was soft and it looked like he could cry any moment.

“Oh my god,” He says, putting his hand on your belly, “I can be ready for this, but if you aren’t then we can you know...”

“No, I want it” then both of you rejoice bc yay baby!

Cut to 6 months later when your feet hurt so bad you have to lay down and watch while Draco fails to put a crib together.

He eventually gets it done tho.

And when the time comes, he’s built and arranged everything for your bundle of joy.

Harry

So you guys are probably already married, but with everything at the ministry going on, it makes Harry less than a family man.

You both agree that it’s probably better to wait so you can be home and yk...raise it.

Well smart man Harry forgets that to not have a kid you need to use protection.

So of course when your period is late you don’t think about it, until its four weeks late.

That night, you and Harry are laying in bed, and thats when you tell him.

“Harry..I’m late.”

“Late for what?” headass.

You: 😳😐

Him: 👁👁😲😲

He’s hesitant to say anything, because he knows its ultimitley up to you what happens with it until its out.

“I think I want to keep it...you know it wont remember much for the first year and a half so if things are stressful it will be okay and-“

“Love...Its going to be perfect”

Mf built the crib in like 45 minutes I swear.

And of course he forced you to keep up with your vitamins, pre natal care, and appointments.

Swear tho you’re about to kill him because cofFeE

But the way he holds your baby 🥺 its his most valued thing ever now.

Ron

Ron is iffy on the kid thing sometimes.

He does want them, but only later when you guys have lived and travled.

So no, you two haven’t planned nor is it even in the picture when your wedding roles around.

It’s in the early days of the marriage when you see his family at the burrow on the way back from the honeymoon.

And of course Molly knows

Because Weasleys are hyperfertile I swear.

She takes you into the kitchen and puts her hands on your arms, shes got that big Mrs.Weasley smile on too.

“I knew it!” She says and pulls you in for a hug, “How far dear??”

You’re just standing there like🧍🏻

“I can see it by the way you glow! Oh my you and my Ron must be so happy!” This woman doesn’t notice that you’re confused.

“Wait what? Mrs. Weasley what are you-?” Then you count the days, “Oh. Well I guess I just found out for myself”

Her face falls slightly, but then she tells you can make you a potion that will tell you if you are or not, stan.

The stupid potion turns green when you spit into it, so everything is confirmed.

That night, you and Ron are getting ready for bed in the guest room and you decide to tell him.

“Ron, sweetie. We need to talk.” He looks like he’s gonna start crying but sits next to you on the bed.

“Y/N...I know its scary but please, we just got married I don’t want to divorce quite just yet 🥺🥺”

“Ron I-“ you start smiling, “I’m pregnant you dufus.”

He just freezes, for a while. Not saying anything, he just looks at the wall with his mouth ajar.

So you get up and go to Ginny.

“Gin, I broke him.”

“Ew, I don’t want to know about how you and him”

“No, I told him that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah that would do it. Just I don’t know... Give him a minute?”

You give him several, getting a glass of water then heading back up to the room.

Ginny was right, he needed a minute.

“I don’t...I wasn’t...you were.?”

“You don’t have to stay, but I think we can do it. Plus, you would disapoint your mom if you left so...”

“Okay...we’ll do it. I’ll be the best damn Father you have ever seen.” He says, talking to your womb.

Well...he’s a father I’ll give him that.

Pro of having a Weasley baby: free crib thats already put together.

Even if it looks like a death trap.

“We’ll put some blankets over it don’t worry”

You know how some Dads hold their parters hand during the delivery? Yeah he got sick and was moral support from the outside.

To be fair, you weren’t screaming in pleasure by any means.

Scary. But beautiful.

He shows the kid to everyone, he might be more in love with the baby than he is with you.

Ron see’s the appeal of having kids now.

Neville

Moving in with your boyfriend is always fun, right up until you guys go at it so much you forget protection more than once.

You think about it, then move on with your day.

Until the doctor calls, then “oh fuck”

Romance Neville bf

“Why aren’t you having any wine? I thought it was your favorite?”

“I don’t think fetal alcohol syndrome is my favorite.” BRO HE SPAT

But he looks up with tears in his eyes, and runs over to you to grasp you in a hug.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Oh my - We’re gonna be parents!! Oh my god we’re gonna be parents oh-“ Que you petting his hair till he’s calm again.

Lets be honest, this man probably swapped the herbology books for the parenting guides.

“Well I mean I’m just wondering if we should go with this color or this one”

“Nev, it doesn’t matter. Our baby will not care.”

“I read in my book that Infants actually can recognize mood in-“

He won’t let you do anything during your pregnancy.

Gotta love a man who cries because he loves you so much and you’re having his kid.

“I never had a father, what if I do it wrong? What if the baby hates me and runs away at seven?”

“We’ve got quite a lot of time before then.”

He was there during delivery, letting you crush his hand like a champ.

You can’t help but cry when you see him sleeping on the floor next to the crib, its so sweet.

Fred

You two most likely already had two kids, so you decided to wait a bit so your hands weren’t quite full.

Well...your body decided not to wait.

A test provides the two lines, another wild child.

The two toddlers already run around like thing one and thing two, only with red hair.

I think Fred would gladly make the family dinner, and wear an apron. He’d own it, as he should.

But mf gotta not drop the salad bowl when you tell him of the fetus inside you.

“Fred we are going to have a bee-ay-bee-why.”

Your five year old has just begun to spell 😐

He’s happy tho.

Like over the fuckin moon.

He buys the two kids big brother/sister shirts too 🥺🥺

He knows the drill pretty well, so he isn’t too worried about the future.

But its funny that he still freaks out about the crib and feeding chair since he gave it away, you know because you guys werent having another kid.

He packed a hospital bag and kept it in the trunk, counting down the days.

Hours of delivery (He just sat back and held your hand) only to end up with a room full of 7 Weasley family members.

Fred always said that 3 was his lucky number :)

George

You guys were taking it slow, no marriage until you both felt it was time. And certainly no children before that.

Well you know...things changed when the test was positive.

You slid it over on the table, tears pooling in your eyes. He was stunned and quiet, which made you burst out sobbing because you knew that neither of you planned on having a baby.

But to your surprise he starts to smile.

“I want whatever you want, I’m staying by your side no matter what.”

“I mean...would it really be so bad? A house, a kid, a dog?” He holds your hand as you think aloud.

You both give it a week to think it over and the virdict is to keep it.

Thats when he decides he has to marry you, asap because he loves you and will never let you go especially now.

He loves to gush about the carrier of his child, to him you are a godess.

He’s the Dad with a predestination complex.

“Y/N, I just see him being a star quiditch player”

“George, we don’t know if it’s a him.”

He rolls his eyes “Okay then I can see her being a star-“

He made Hermione take you out for a movie date so he could rearrange your bedroom, since you only had a single bedroom flat.

You come back to a new set up including a cot.

Damn pregnancy hormones make brain go 🥺😭😭

He freaks when your water breaks lol

ceo of driving like a maniac to the hospital.

He can’t hold your hand, he’s pacing back and forth, sweating and maybe crying though he’ll never admit to it.

You get the joy of watching him cuddle the baby while refusing to give your child to you.

“George I’d like to hold-“

“No, you need your sleep honey, don’t worry”

Hogging the child.

Cedric

Its no secret that Cedric wants a baby someday.

And he makes it clear your wedding will be spectacular too.

However, finding out you’re pregnant the week of your dream wedding was a shock.

A shock that made you bang your head into the wall because how could you be so stupid?? We had a plan??

So you decide to wait until after the wedding, that way it wont add onto the stress (happy stress) of the wedding.

Cedric keeps trying to fill your glass at the reception, to which you kindly refuse saying you want to remember the night entirely.

Yeah he’s like 🤨 mhm okay.

You can only pick at the dinner because ew salmon doesn’t sound like an option if you want to keep the contents of your stomach.

As everyone waves goodbye to the car, and you both set off into married life, he leans over.

“I may be out of my mind, but are you...?”

“Pregnant.” His face lights up, pulling you into a hug.

Finally, your car pulls up to a small cottage with lush garden scapes all around, putting a hand out, he walks you both from the car to the door.

“Ced, where are we?”

“Home.”

Somehow it was perfect with Cedric, even when it was rushed.

He loved talking to your womb, even if it was weird that he was talking about the babies future brothers and sisters.

“Cedric, slow down. We haven’t even had this one yet”

Basically he is father of the year before he’s a full father.

He’s there while you deliver, holding your hand and telling you how great you’re doing.

He doesn’t even complain when you insult him <3.

He updates you on everything.

If his eyes aren’t on that child, he’s either asleep or dead.

I think Cedric was meant to be a family man, because he loves everything about being one.

Taglist: @truly-insatiable @amourtentiaa @imdoingathingmom @annasdani @anchoeritic @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @cedricsyellowscarf @faeinorbit

[supercorpkid]

It’s crossover season - Part 1

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Iron Man x TeamMate!Reader, Captain America x TeamMate!Reader, Doctor Strange x TeamMate!Reader, Thor x TeamMate!Reader, Black Widow x TeamMate!Reader, Hulk x TeamMate!Reader.

Word count: 2570.

For the Marvel fans: this is supposed to be happening between Age of Ultron and Civil War.

You’re in the living room with your moms. It’s Friday night and it’s Kara’s turn to pick the movie. It comes as no surprise when the three of you settle on the couch to watch Wizard of Oz, black and white version.

“Hey, you don’t want to miss this part!” Kara says when you stand up, so you can go to the kitchen to pick up more soda for yourself.

“You are aware this movie is not exactly new, right?” You ask and hear Lena’s chuckle in response.

“Can you get more wine for mom, baby?” Lena asks and you agree with your head, making your way to the kitchen despite Kara’s protests.

You finally picked up the soda can, wine bottle and some chocolates for the road when you hear a loud noise in the living room. You use your super speed to get there, and see Kara being pulled by a portal. But not any portal. Not Barry’s portal, or Cisco’ dimensional portals. Something completely different you never saw before.

“Momma!” You drop everything you’re holding and run to the portal, pushing Kara out of the way. So the portal sucks you in, instead.

“Kid, no!” You hear Kara’s voice and you see her on the other side, but it’s too late. Wherever this portal is heading to, you’re going.

“You’ll find me!” You yell back. And both of your moms faces disappear. “Please, find me.” You whisper.

You fall on the floor with a loud thud. You look around to four guys and one woman staring at you from across the room. You sure never saw them before. There’s a table in the middle. One of them is standing in front of it, staring right at you. He has dark hair, a weird beard style, and you can see something blue glowing on his chest, even though he is wearing a shirt. That’s guy number 1.

Guy number 2 is next to him, in much fancier and weirder clothes. He is wearing a cape (capes are lame, did he not get the memo?), and he also has a weird beard (you’re starting to think it’s fashion).

Sitting behind them is a red haired woman, all dressed in black. She has her legs up the table, giving off an ‘I don’t care about anything’ kind of vibe.

Next to her, guy number 3, is wearing a blue shirt very tight around his muscles, he is definitely the strongest, but his baby blue eyes give you the idea that he is sweet.

And last, guy number 4, is in the back. Arms crossed over, in his lab clothes and glasses. He looks like the sweet science guy.

“A kid!” Guy nº 1 says pointing at you, like no one else can see you’re sitting there in front of them. “I said: find us back-up, and you bring me a child, Strange?”

“I don’t think the child is supposed to be here.” Guy nº 2, or rather cape-guy, answers back.

“No shit, Einstein! It’s a kid!” Guy nº1 snaps back.

“Language!” You and Guy nº 3, baby blue eyes guy, make chorus.

“Great! Just what we needed, a mini Steve Rogers!”

“I’m not a kid!” You finally find something worth saying and you see some eyes rolling at that information.

“Excuse me, miss. The adults are talking.”

“Rude.” You stand up, putting your hands on your waist. “You’re the one who brought me here, mister…?”

“You don’t know who I am?” Guy nº1 asks, so full of himself.

“Should I?” Your answer makes all of his friends smile and try to cover up. He exhales, exasperated.

“I’m Tony Stark, kid.” You blink at him, like he said literally nothing. “I am Iron Man.” He answers like that sentence is supposed to impact you somehow. You shrug and look behind him. To the man with a cape.

“Doctor Strange.” He says with a nod. “I’m the one who brought you here.”

“Banner. Um, Bruce. Bruce Banner.” Lab coat guy answers. He seems sweet looking lost between these people, so you smile at him.

“Steve Rogers.” Baby-blue-eyed guy waves. “Captain America.”

“Natasha Romanoff.” The only other woman in the room adds. “Black Widow.”

“And we are the Avengers.” Mister Stark says and you bite your lips at the information. Should you know who the hell the Avengers are? You never once heard of them, and they all look too normal -except for Cape-guy- and too powerless. Although they could probably be thinking the same thing about you now, so you shouldn’t judge. For all you know, sweet small lab-coat guy in the back can be the most powerful ‘the Avengers’ of all time, and break you in half in one snap.

“Well, ‘the Avengers’ it’s very nice meeting all of you. But, well, if you all don’t mind, I would like to go back to my house and to my moms, please and thank you.” You say and Stark just sighs pointing at Strange.

“Strange, get the kid back to her moms and find someone who can really help in this fight.” He is looking less annoyed, and more tired. “We could seriously use some back-up for this.”

You furrow your brows at the sound of that. You can’t believe you’re even thinking about this, but then the words come out of your mouth before you can think twice or hold it back.

“I can be back-up.”

That could make anyone roll in their seats laughing, but they’re trying to be respectful, so Natasha covers her mouth so you don’t see her smile. Steve looks down with the same smile playing on his lips. Banner almost smiles too. Strange seems to study you for a second. But Stark is laughing hard at you. Ok, again, rude.

“What’s so funny? You said you need back-up. Cape-guy over there brought me here for a reason. I’m offering.”

“No offense kid, but you’re like 12.” Stark says and you roll your eyes.

“Offense very much taken, I’m 16!”

“Yes, well, you’re still a child who wants to go back to her mommies.” He mocks you, making you squint your eyes at him.

“Mister Stark, sir. May I ask what your powers are?”

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” He says with a smirk on his lips.

“Oh, that’s it?” It’s time for you to smirk back. “I get now why you need back-up.”

“WOW!” That’s what leaves the whole group’s mouths.

“She’s got you there, Tony.” Banner chimes in, and you smile at yourself proudly.

“Oh really? What are your powers, smart mouth?” He asks thinking he has won, and that only makes you sorry for him.

“Genius, billionaire, I can’t really say that I’m a playboy, but I am a philanthropist.” Your smile comes after your feet leave the floor. “Also, I can fly.”

“So can most of the team.”

“Oh, then I guess most of the team also have super strength, super speed, freeze breath, heat vision, x-ray vision, invulnerability and draw their energies from the sun.”

“Holy shit.” Natasha says and you smile when you look at everyone’s impressed face.

“I think the child is supposed to be here.” Strange says and you agree with your head.

“She’s still a kid.” It’s what Stark says. “Cap, care to jump in here?”

Baby-blue-eyed guy stands up, walking towards you with a soft smile on his face. You smile back, landing on the floor.

“Ever been in a battle, kid?” He asks.

“Sure!” It’s what your mouth says, but deep inside you’re thinking this is insane. They didn’t want you; they didn’t go for you. They wanted your momma, who has real battle experience. You fought empty spaceships and won. Yay you. You have literally no other experience besides this one.

“Can you give us a minute?” Cap asks and you agree with your head, watching them going back to the table and closing the door in front of you. You sit on the floor, waiting for their decision. You want them to want you. It’s a weird feeling, but you want to be needed and respected, especially for your powers, since you don’t have a lot of that going around back home. But at the same time, you feel very scared of walking into a battle (is what he called, right?) with people who could definitely be your parents.

“She’s a kid, you guys can’t be seriously considering this.”

“She has more powers than all of us together, Tony.”

“You didn’t care about that when you recruited Wanda.”

“Wanda walked in on this by herself. Strange, how did we end up with a kid?”

“My magic was to bring someone powerful enough to help. She’s here. Which means she is powerful enough, otherwise the portal wouldn’t have pulled her here. I wasn’t aiming for a kid, but if a kid is what we got, we have to make-do.”

“I agree. She can be helpful.”

“Cap?”

“I don’t know guys, she-she looks twelve.”

“Steve gets it!”

“But she isn’t. She is sixteen. And she wants to help.”

“She is invulnerable, you know.”

“Fine, let’s take a vote. Who thinks the smart mouth should stay?”

You lower your glasses to see their hands. Natasha, Cap, Bruce and Strange raise their hands. You smile proud of yourself. Yeah! But also, no! Did you seriously just walk in a battle -that has nothing to do with you- on purpose?

The door opens a while later and you stand up, looking at ‘the Avengers’ on the other side. You have the biggest smile on your face.

“Oh, did I forget to mention I have super hearing?” You raise one eyebrow, and Stark sighs.

“Of course you do.” He rolls his eyes. “Do you even have a superhero name?”

“I’m Superkid.”

“It has kid in the name, I can’t take her seriously.” He bites back and looks around. “Come on, Strange, let’s try to get Thor back.”

“Wait.” You run after the two of them. “Mister Cape-guy, can you, um, just tell my moms I’m safe?”

“Don’t worry.” He reassures you. “I left a card.”

They resume walking and you look back at the rest of the team, still staring at you. You take a deep breath, and walk back to where they are.

“So, where am I?” You ask, looking at Cap, who just looks dumbfounded by your question.

“You’re on Earth, Superkid.”

“Right.” You laugh. “I meant, which Earth?”

“You mean there is more than one Earth?” Natasha asks and you shake your head agreeing.

“There are infinite Earths in the Multiverse.” You say, pulling up a chair and sitting across from them. “Mine is Earth-38, and the Flash lives on Earth-1, and the Titans on Earth-9, my cousin just joined. Oh, and there’s obviously Earth-X governed by the Nazis-”

“Wait, let me stop you right there.” Cap says, looking shocked by your revelations. “There’s an Earth where the Nazis won?”

“Well, Mister Cap, that’s what the multiverse is all about, isn’t it?” You clasp your hands in front of your body. “When a diversion event occurs, then a new Earth is created. Maybe you have a different name for that here, like alternative or parallel universe.” You look at Banner. “Elseworlds?”

“Right. Pardon us.” Cap says with a smile. “Well, Banner, I believe that big- brain of yours, is filled with questions for our big-brained guest. Don’t let us keep you from it. Nat and I will go get Sam, Bucky and Wanda.”

You wait for the two other Avengers to leave, and you look back at Bruce, finally sitting on the table.

“That’s a lot of people. Mister Stark, Cape-guy, Cap, Natasha, Thor, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, you…” You startle yourself when you count all of them on your fingers. That’s a hell of a team, bigger than the Justice League for sure.

“And it’s not even half of it.” He adds to your confusion.

“That’s a lot of super-heroes for only one Earth.” You look at him with puzzling eyes. “What is your super power, Mister Banner?”

“I-well-” He shuffles around looking embarrassed to say it. “You’ll see in a bit, I suppose.”

“Ok.” You decide to let it go; you don’t want to make him uncomfortable. “What are we up against?”

Apparently, you’re up against alien invasion. You make sure you ask a couple times (or more), if the aliens are actually evil, without informing you’re an alien too. But yes, a bad horde of aliens coming to this Earth very, very soon.

Banner has about 20 questions about the Multiverse. You try your best to explain to him what you know about it, but it seems like this time you’re not even in the same Multiverse. Is there a multiverse of a multiverse?

Talking to Banner is great. He knows so much; you feel dumb around him. Is this how Jamie and Maya feel when you’re explaining something a little too far from their grasp? You don’t know how much time you two are bonding over science, when you hear a thunder sound and lightning falling close to where you are, and run to the window to check what’s going on. Soon, you see a guy, hammer in hand with lightning coming out of it. You look back at Banner, who smiles shyly.

“That would be Thor.”

“Can I?” You point at the window. You don’t know exactly why you’re asking for permission. You just don’t want to seem impolite.

“Of course.” He says and you open the window flying to where Thor is. Oh, he is strong. And he looks extremely powerful. You can’t control the excitement when he turns to you.

“New member?” He asks and you shrug as your answer. “I am Thor, son of Odin.”

“Superkid, daughter of Kara and Lena?”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Superkid-daughter-of-Kara-and-Lena.” Thor says with a puppy smile on his face. He puts his hammer on the ground and looks to the people coming from behind you to greet him. “Ready for battle?”

He reminds you so much of Kara. Puppy smile, blond hair, kind of dorky. You smile too, feeling your heart burst in excitement.

“I am now, Mister Thor.”

He pushes his cape out of his way, smile still on his lips, making his way inside the compound. You look at the way he walks, his muscles, long hair and red cape flying behind him. Wait, have you once said capes are lame? You take it back. Capes are the coolest! You look at his hammer on the ground with puzzling eyes.

“Mister Thor!” You call for him. He turns around to look at you, and the rest of the team also stops to watch you. You walk to the hammer, picking it up from the floor, and pointing at him. “You’ve left your hammer!”

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

Post-credit scene:

“Oh, how polite, they left a card.” Lena picks it up from the floor. “They kidnapped our daughter and left a card.”

“What does it say?” Kara asks, standing up from the floor, where she has been crying for the past two minutes.

“177A, Bleecker St. New York.”

“They left a puzzle?” Kara takes the card away from Lena’s hand. “They took my daughter and left a puzzle? What kind of villain does that?”

“It’s an address, Kara.” Lena holds her shoulder. “Don’t worry, honey. We’ll find her.”

Notes:

So @oncemoonie prompted a marvel crossover and I am having so much fun with this, I hope you guys are too, cause more is coming!

[gemkidsau]

Season Three

I made some posts on Tapas about this but I guess some people missed them, so the confused people in that crew, here is a screenshot of an explanation:

The original plan was to draw the entirety of season two before scheduling it all to post. But a handful of episodes in I got caught up in something else and by the time I had time to work on it again, I just couldn't. I tried and tried but I really just could not get back into it.

So continuing in my promise, here is season three:

Super watermelon island

Garnet sees Malachite surfacing on Mask Island so they go there and ambush her. Peridot stays behind to work on the drill and Rose volunteers to supervise her. Alexandrite defeats Malachite. Jasper is lost in the ocean again and Lapis is brought home, passed out.

Gem drill

Same plot but replace Steven with Rose.

Same old world

Lapis wakes up and Amethyst helps her process what she went through and finds a new home for her (similar plot but Amethyst has a different approach cause of her personality). She chooses the barn.

Barn mates

Peridot insists the barn belongs to her because she’s already been using it. Lapis insists it was promised to her even though Amethyst never actually said that and doesn’t own the barn in the first place. Amethyst decides this is going to be hilarious and makes popcorn. She soon realizes she’s too close to it for it to be funny so goes to solve the problem, but it’s harder than she anticipated. It generally follows the same plot though. The red eye shows up at the end and lapis flicks it.

Hit the diamond

Yeah this one’s the same.

Steven floats

Rose learns she can float.

Mr greg

Steven & Connie’s backstory (Never fleshed this out)

Too short to ride

TBH the same but replace Steven with Rose.

The new lars

Rose wakes up in the middle of the night in Pearl’s body. Terrified, she shakes herself awake, which triggers the switch back. Pearl wakes up groggy and asks Rose why she’s awake. She says she had a bad dream and they go back to sleep.

Beach city drift

The cool kids invited Lars to a party and he’s bragging about it. When Pearl and Amethyst show interest, Lars says little kids aren’t allowed. They fuse and try to keep Opal stable so they can attend the party.

Monster reunion

Rose figures out that she does, in fact, have healing powers. She’s sure it’s a Diamond thing, but thankful as heck it’s also a Rose Quartz thing. Rose says she should try and heal one of the monsters and Pearl says she should do corrupted Rose Quartz. Once CRQ is half healed, it’s the same plot switching Steven for Pearl. We get to learn about the Crystal Gems’ demise. They were fighting at the beach and where Beach City would eventually be built. A Quartz fusion chucked the warp pad to prevent further backup from arriving. Rose notices a Nephrite receiving orders to retreat and looks up to see the diamond attack. The warp pad lands on the Nephrite. Rose doesn’t have a means to protect her friends(sword instead of shield), so they all succumb to the attack. (exit flashback) Rose runs to the temple, but can’t get in. Pearl lets her in. Pink Rose is in there like “wat happen why.” (Maybe CRQ finds something in the chest? IDK where to go from here.)

Alone at sea

Peridot is sad because Lapis is sad and she can’t figure out how to make not sad so she asks Garnet for help. Garnet takes Lapis into the ocean and does her best to show her more of the beauty of Earth. Lapis is finally starting to cheer up when Jasper sneaks up on them and begs on her knees to become Malachite again. Lapis tells her no and makes her leave. Garnet and Lapis go home wary.

Greg the babysitter

Sour Cream is excited because his baby brother is being born today. The gems are like what is a baby. We learn that gems don’t start out quite that small. They theorize that since humans only incubate for 9 months, they don’t develop as far. Gems incubate for years. They come out as 5-year-olds ish. Then Connie wonders if gems were to incubate for a very long time, would they form as adults? The gems laugh at such an idea. :^)

Gem hunt

Connie is getting very good at being close to danger even though she can’t fight or anything, so when she hears the gems are going to the frozen North, she insists on tagging along to supervise. The gems think that’s stupid but they aren’t gonna say no to Mom. Connie and Garnet get separated from Pearl, Amethyst, and Rose. While separated, Connie actually helps Garnet take out one of the beasts. Pearl, Amethyst, and Rose encounter Jasper, who poofs their beast and walks off menacingly as Connie and Garnet find them. (Rose summons her shield for the first time when trying to protect her teammates)

Crack the whip

Amethyst loses a sparring match to Pearl for the first time and is super self conscious about it.

Steven vs amethyst

Amethyst internalizes the problem instead of confronting Pearl.

Bismuth (This is out of order. Should happen before Monster Reunion)

Rose asks why she doesn’t have a room in the temple yet and the gems are like yeah that’s chill we have another spot go for it. She makes her room and to her surprise there’s already stuff in it. The other gems are like yeah there were a few things in our rooms too. We think they’re left over from the previous owners. Stuff like swords and relics. But Rose has some peculiar items in her room. There’s a chest, a sword, a flag, and a bubble. Rose likes the sword and wants to use it in battle.

Beta

Amethyst still feels like shit so Rose takes her to Peridot and Peridot takes them to the beta kindergarten. Same plot.

Earthlings

We find out that even though Jasper was originally made for Yellow, since she was young when PD emerged she was actually training to be given to Pink.

Back to the moon

Same plot mostly. The other gems hear for the first time (from the rubies) that Pink Diamond was shattered on Earth. ‘Who would do such a thing?’ It was a Rose Quartz. All eyes on Rose. Not having planned for this, she panics and runs downstairs. Pearl says she’ll talk to her since she’s closest to her and asks the other to continue helping the rubies without her.

Bubbled

Pearl talks to Rose about what they’re going to tell the others. They decide Rose was bubbled and when Pink returned to Earth in search of her Pearl, she released Rose. Rose asked who she was and she told her she’s a Diamond. Rose is a Crystal Gem so she identified her as a threat and took the opportunity to strike. Soon the others return but their cover (pretending to be homeworld gems for the rubies) is blown at the last second. Rose opens the airlock to blow them into space and one of them grabs her, trying to pull her with them, but she escapes the ruby’s grasp safely.

[in-tua-deep]

Are you into my hero academia? What about an AU or crossover with tua?

UHHHH I am technically, like, peripherally? I watched some seasons of the show like two or three years ago and since then have simply absorbed all content through osmosis, reading fanfiction that has canon events, and my sister telling me about the arcs of her fav characters lmao

so a crossover hmmm

First of all you'd have to like, establish whether bnha is an alternate universe or just The Future If No Apocalypse with quirks being traced back to the descendants of the kids born without mothers

So let's say it's that - the glowing baby was the "first quirk" but the truth is people had powers before that. But - well, the Umbrella Academy was obviously a marketing gimmick to those in the future! There were even comics based on them

In the future, you might find some of those comics in museum exhibits dedicated to depictions of powers in the pre-quirk era, but they're just fun depictions and much less popular than, oh, DC or MCU comics which are also in the exhibits!

End of s2 doesn't happen I guess in this au?? No sparrow academy at least lmao. So, the Umbrella Academy stop the apocalypse (again) and the Commission threat is? Neutralized? Whatever. They decide to jump back to the future

Five warns them that time travel is a crapshoot, that he has no fucking idea when they'll land beyond some nebulous "future" because Five can at least control the direction if not exactly how long

Also, Five is like. Super tired. Incredibly tired. Homeboy still has a healing gut wound, time traveled twice, has been jumping all over the place, gotten even more injured, experienced paradox psychosis, and managed to undo time all in the space of like, two weeks. There actually more than that but we don't have time to get into how fucking tired Five is from his ~Month of Hell

Like genuinely this is like putting someone almost delirious from lack of sleep in the driver's seat of a car and expecting to get to your destination in one piece

But hey, the siblings are like "do it uwu" and Five has sacrificed everything for them already so why not get behind the wheel again

So Five jumps them, and of course something goes wrong because Five has pushed his powers like a great big rubber band and honestly it was only a matter of time before he lost his grip and it snapped back to hit him

So here be the umbrella academy: spilled out into the future like a cup of bad coffee.

Five probably isn't in too good of shape tbh, like they're hundreds of years in the future (but hey at least confirmation of no apocalypse am I right) in a world full of superpowers and Five is like. bleeding from his ears and nose probably idk

Let's handwave a little bit - Reginald made them all polyglots so the squad all speak varying levels of Japanese. Allison is the best at it, Five is second best but tends to use more archaic words bc he had missions in Japan back when he was with the commission, and Klaus is third best.

(Ben is the worst bc he decided when he was 16-and-dead that he didn't have to do anything regarding lessons and maintenance and hasn't given a shit since - but also he's dead so)

So you have a bunch of weird adults with a bleeding child in like, an alley who have appeared from nowhere

so of course heroes get involved

Anyway, the squad get taken in and Five is conscious but like, barely? And he's not going to let himself get separated from his siblings again fuck-you-officer and there is a lot of confusion

anyway detective tsukauchi ends up getting involved and ends up having to hear this batshit story and be like "...truth." which sends all kinds of people scrambling because fucking time travel? Like yeah, it's been theorized to be a possible quirk but there's no recorded cases of any sort of time travel that is for more than 24 hours let alone hundreds of years

"I'm an adult." Five says sourly, "I just happened to be returned to my 13 year old body when I time traveled one time."

"True." Tsukauchi says, feeling his soul leave his body, but like. absently. the way he does when he's called in at 2am after getting off of work at midnight.

"I'm 58." Five says.

"Lie." Tsukauchi says, because this is a headcanon hill I will die on.

"I'm probably 58, but it was hard to keep track. I'm at least 50." Five corrects.

"True." Tsukauchi sighs like these six (seven? they keep referring to another sibling and Klaus said 'ghost' like that was fine and it registered as true and Tsukauchi is not nearly paid enough for this) are not giving him a migraine by just existing

on the bright side there's like, probably protocols in place for individuals who are Legally Chronologically Adults but thanks to quirks are Not Physically Or Not Mentally Adults with tests to determine if the individual needs a guardian or not

though i'm gonna be honest idk if Five would pass the test bc he literally cannot take care of himself at all, has never paid taxes or understands how to exist legally, and also his emotional maturity is stunted as all hell. also like. we don't actually know how much being in his thirteen-year-old body affects his mental state but yeAH Five is vibing

anyway Tsukauchi probably phones a friend on this bullshit because Time Travel Child alone is probably enough for the Hero Commission to be like "find a way to control and use it or nuke it from orbit" and that's not even touching whatever the fuck Klaus is doing (shit gets real once 'dead men tell no tales' stops being true) let ALONE Allison's whole deal

on the bright side like, at least Vanya isn't getting side-eyed that much bc Big Destructive Quirks aren't exactly unknown? if vanya wanted to i guess quirk suppressors exist for that until extensive training on how to control a super powerful quirk happens

Tsukauchi in the group chat: Aizawa please I am literally begging you to take this bullshit on

Aizawa: in this economy? with my class?

RatGod: lol we'll take them ;3c

Aizawa: no

Anyway they probably end up having to live at UA while Five insists on trying to get them home still and everyone else is like "oh hey we used to be child soldiers as well! (:" and Aizawa is like "i hate everything about this and everything about all of you but also like nedzu is making me interact with you so :/"

nedzu is out here vibing like "lol i just don't want the hero commission to get their little paws on these time traveling fuckers, i think you should make then teaching assistants or something"

honestly the siblings are probably like. figuring out how to function in the bnha universe and getting like, legally registered and stuff while Five ferally refuses bc that's like saying he's giving up on getting them home and he can do this

Recovery girl tries to heal him a little when he arrives and he passes out for two weeks like, immediately bc homeboy is running on fumes and spite at this point

also i think on principle it would be REALLY FUNNY if the squad got to tag along with the class bc like. Five is thirteen and the class are all 15. this does not sound like a large age gap. anyone who has interacted with teenagers know that the class would squint at Five and be like "who is this sassy lost middle schooler."

I feel like when I was a sophomore we were still like "freshman... babie" even though we were literally only one year older.

i think the difference between the umbrella academy and school kids would be pretty funny like. objectively the bnha kids are lowkey child soldiers?? like they're 15 and fighting villains but like, there's all this red tape and laws and stuff but,,, deku still be breaking his limbs in a child fighting ring against equally superpowered children for like. entertainment and sponsorships sooo

but also like Five would be like "oh cool when is the experimentation class"

"the what"

"you know, when your powers are pushed real hard by putting you in different terrible situations while your dad and sibling stand by with clipboards writing down the exact voltage it takes before you can't use your powers anymore when being electrocuted"

"hound dog's office is right there. therapy is available to you at any time. i need you to know this."

all might calls Luther "my boy" like one (1) time and Luther just breaks down crying probably because he is starved for positive attention

klaus and midnight get along like a literal house on fire, aizawa tried his best to keep them apart for as long as possible but god damn

(klaus: your name is shimura nana??

all might: immediately dies choking on blood)

i feel it absolutely necessary to point out that aizawa, present mic, and midnight are all like, 30? and the umbrella academy are all between 29-early 30s? they are PEERS but like. the umbrella academy are more chaotic due to childhood trauma

the umbrella academy probably get offered to like. also train to be heroes. i mean,, there HAS to be some sort of track for people who change careers right?? you don't have to cement your future as a hero when you're 15 i'm sure there must be something and the squad already have experience if they want to go be legal heroes

diego probably does at least?? diego just vibes honestly. diego gets momo to make knives during a team exercise and they just go feral on everyone else and it ends with diego highfiving momo and someone getting way to close to being stabbed for comfort

Five might just be. legally enrolled as an Actual Student? But also i think it's funny to picture the entire squad just. all in the back of the classroom with luther trying to fit into a high school desk as they take notes on the laws of The Future surrounding heroics

every word out of the umbrella academy's mouths just make everyone more concerned on principal but like, five and klaus are probably the worst offenders. Klaus just says whatever comes to mind with no filter and Five doesn't get what people would consider to be abnormal anymore like

Five: yeah our dad bought us when we were babies and experimented on us throughout our childhood in order to make an elite team of child soldiers superheroes, it happens

Todoroki: ...have you heard of quirk marriages?

izuku probably has an aneurism bc he's is the only person who might recognize them from the comics because you know ya boy extensively researched the idea of heroics in pre-quirk eras (batman was an inspiration alright???) and might dredge up a memory of a less popular comic series

Five: I can time travel but it is very hard, which is why we are hundreds of years in the future. And why I look like a child.

Kaminari: so are you a kid or not?

Five, serenely: whatever is most convenient for me at any given moment

Mina: hell yeah game the system

they have a brief lesson on astronomy and Luther raises his hand like "ooh! i was isolated on the moon for four years and did SO MUCH research" and then just gets up and starts infodumping like way too much information on the moon

Izuku sitting there like "damn if quirks hadn't popped up we could have achieved so much in terms of space travel. please tell me more giant man who lived in pre-quirk era."

Vanya finds out about the quirkless and is like "oh mood that genuinely sounds like my childhood, being ordinary in a house full of extraordinary people, and then i found out that i did have powers but only much later in life after i had already been emotionally scarred by the experience"

deku: vanya we have so much in common

iida and uraraka: concerned noises

aizawa: hound dog. therapy with hound dog for all of you.

there's probably some conflict with like, the hero commission wanting to get their hands on the time travelers?? but probably especially five and klaus as a) time travel and b) ghosts (the hc def has bodies they would like to stay buried)

five has a pavlovian reaction to anything with 'commission' in the name and hates them on site, probably plays into his age in order to become a ward of UA or something to protect him from the commission a little bit.

(this makes nedzu Five's legal guardian. aizawa has his resignation papers all prepped in a drawer marked 'in case of emergency' but let's be real, if nedzu wants to take over the world aizawa should probably be on the rat-bear's side of things :/)

five: ah, i do recall the inhumane experimentation that we were subjected to

nedzu, who was experimented on: haha same hat! want me to dig up the location of reginald hargreeves's remains so you can spit on them?

klaus: nah no worries we dumped them out in the courtyard unceremoniously like, a while back. how long ago varies for each of us because of time travel!

luther: you said hound dog's office was down the hall and to the right?

on the bright side, Luther probably feels like. way less self conscious about his body, partially bc of his fighting and all that in the 60s but also bc !! now he genuinely doesn't feel like a freak. no one even gives him a second glance. one of the teachers looks like a slab of cement with a face. gang orca looks Like That. there is literally a student with an entire bird head and goth aesthetic. Luther does not stick out at all

allison and shinso bond over having "villainous" voice-based quirks

allison and shinso having worn muzzles at some point in their youth as punishment 🤝

aizawa probably helps train vanya as well with the whole, being able to erase a world ending quirk safely thing he's got going on which makes for a very nice safety net

i don't think vanya would want to be a hero at the end of things though. maybe the assistant teacher in the music class or something?? all vanya wants is to be able to not end the world

i feel like as time goes by, five brings up trying to get home less and less. part of that is because like,,, genuinely what do they have to go back to?? Allison has Claire, but like. I'm 100% sure the first thing she did in the future was try track down Claire's records and found out Claire was like. fine. became an adult, had a family, probably became the ancestor of the first "quirked" kids who officially popped up after light baby. had a good life, died at an old age etc. etc.

they start settling into the bnha world with like, "we can always hop aboard the five express into where the fuck ever" as a plan Z if things go completely pear shaped (again)

i'mma be real, five himself doesn't give a fuck as long as there is a) no apocalypse and b) his family is alive. Like that's it. His bar is so incredibly low and yet his life keeps fucking trying to limbo under it

i just think it would be funny to have like, Five trying to get along with his "peers" and make friends while the siblings do the same but like, in the staff room

also think it would be funny for five to just walk into the staff room and get coffee occasionally.

a teacher: why is a student in here -

Five, sipping coffee: i'm an adult

nedzu like "what kind of guardian would i be if i didn't teach my new son all the tunnels around ua so he can pop out wherever"

five like "hey new dad can i put stashes of supplies all around ua of weapons, money, food, and other assorted things that might be useful if one needed to fight or make a run for it" and nedzu is like "haha just put your list of what supplies you want in your go bags on my desk and i'll critique it later!"

anyway a bnha/tua crossover would be incredibly chaotic but probably very funny

[heyyyharry]

Deep End - Chapter 12: Dirty Dreams

…in which Harry and Ezi kiss again…and again…and again… (THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT)

Word count: 4.6k

AU: famous!harry, siren!mc, adult modern retelling of the little mermaid? lol, fake dating, enemies to lovers.

WARNING: MATURE THEMES

All chapters / Synopsis / Moodboard / Playlist

Wattpad link

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Harry didn’t understand dreams. How did dreams even work? Because sometimes he would see someone he hadn’t seen in years in his dreams, even though he had completely forgotten about the person’s existence up to that point. Then there were these super violent and bloody dreams that woke him in the middle of the night in cold sweats. Then, there were some other more inappropriate dreams that made him so disappointed when the alarm rang.

Listen, Harry wasn’t a pervert. He didn’t think about sex 24/7; well, not usually. But lately, he’d been having dirty dreams more often than he would enjoy. He would wake up with his dick rock hard and end up late for work because he had to stroke one out in the shower. And he blamed it on…

“Ezi! Where are your pants? And why are you wearing my shirt?”

Ezi stopped in the kitchen doorway with a bowl of ice cream in one hand, the other holding a spoon in her mouth. “This is my new ‘at home’ look,” she said, while leaning against the door in nothing but his button-up shirt that fell just past her bum. As if the sight wasn’t torturing enough, she had to be licking ice cream from the fucking spoon. It was eight in the fucking morning! And Harry would not go back to the bathroom to wank again.

“But where are your shirts? Why don’t you wear them?” he asked and slipped past her into the kitchen. He would make himself a cup of coffee so he wouldn’t have to watch her being effortlessly sexy in the kitchen doorway.

“They said on the internet that you should borrow your boyfriend’s shirt, and you’re my fake boyfriend.”

“Fair enough,” Harry chuckled.

She gave him a shy smile and left without saying another word. That was the longest conversation they’d had since that night she went out on a date with Dawson. Ezi was always a little bit weird. Okay, well, very weird. But her weirdness had been different lately, in a bad way. She was still doing weird things, but keeping a distance from him.

Harry knew he couldn’t really complain, since he’d specifically told her to her face that he preferred it when it was just him and the cat. Having his own space had been nice for a day or two, then he’d started missing how annoying she’d been. And of course, he blamed this all on Dawson.

Harry had been second to Dawson his whole life. Ever since he’d been a kid and found out that he’d had a cousin, Dawson had been nothing but a burden for Harry. Harry was the only child, but to his parents, Dawson had been their favourite son. His father used to love sports, but Harry had never been a fan of those. Dawson, on the other hand, had been the captain of the school’s football team and was excellent at marathons as well. So if Harry’s father was still alive, Dawson would be the one making him proud by taking over the family business Harry didn’t want.

Now, just as Harry had finally gained his own spotlight as a singer, becoming great at something Dawson wasn’t good at, Dawson swept in and stole Ezi.

Harry had spent a lot of time wondering why it had mattered so much to him that Ezi had gone on one date with his cousin. He didn’t even like her like that, and the house was always peaceful without her, which he enjoyed very much. But why did the idea of her becoming something with Dawson bother him so much? He hadn’t been sleeping well for the last couple of days. Not to mention that Ezi had started keeping distance from him. Well, he’d done it first because of the kiss, but it was weird when she did it because she had always been so fucking clingy. And he’d hated that. Until now!

Ding dong!

“What do you want?” Harry asked in the least annoyed tone he could pull off, while fighting the urge to slam the door in Dawson’s good-looking face.

“Is Ezi home?” Dawson asked.

“Ezi? You mean Ezili? Because I’m the only one who calls her Ezi.”

“Y-Yeah, Ezili,” Dawson said with an awkward smile. This guy was a tool. What did Ezi see in him?

“No, she’s at work,” Harry said, and quickly added, “but don’t think about going there. They’re having a book club meeting; she’d be mad if you showed up and distracted her.”

That was a lie. Harry didn’t even know if people actually hosted book club meetings at random book shops, but did it matter? If he was going to be petty, he must go all the way.

“What do you wanna meet her for?” he asked before Dawson could leave. He didn’t want to have a long conversation with Dawson about Ezi, but it was the only way to learn more about their date. “Did you do something that you wanna apologise for?”

“No. Of course not,” Dawson chuckled and adjusted his glasses. “She bought some books and forgot them in my car.”

“I could give them to her when she gets back from work,” Harry said.

Dawson looked hesitant. “Well, she told me not to give them to you.”

“Oh.” Harry kept a straight face, but he was very offended that she’d made that request. Did she really hate him so much for what he’d said that night?

“So,” he ventured, averting his eyes. “Guess the date went well?”

“I suppose,” Dawson said.

Harry had hoped for a different response. This one didn’t really hurt him but it didn’t make him happy, either. He cleared his throat and straightened his back. “So are you looking forward to the second date?”

“I don’t think there’s gonna be one,” Dawson said, to Harry’s surprise. “I don’t think she likes me like that?”

Okay, this was the response Harry had been waiting for. He tried to suppress a grin as he patted his cousin’s shoulder sympathetically, while he was far from sympathetic. “Oh, don’t be so pessimistic. I know she’s a bit out of your league, but dare to dream a little.”

“Very funny,” Dawson snorted and brushed off Harry’s hand. “But I think she has a crush on you.”

“Really? I mean, no!” Harry faked a laugh, crossing his arm and leaning against the door in an unnatural pose. “No way.” Now he sounded like a commercial guy who had never attended a single acting class. “She doesn’t...she doesn’t have a crush on me,” he stuttered. “W-Why do you think so?”

Dawson pressed his lips into an understanding smile that made Harry’s face grow red. “All she talked about for the entire night was you.”

Harry thought Dawson was just teasing him at first. Then he remembered that this was Dawson, not him. So it was true. Ezi had talked about him for the whole night when she was with Dawson.

“What did she say?” Harry asked, trying to seem more curious than excited.

“She told me you were a good cook, and then complained about your bad habits. Then it was all ‘Harry said that’ and ‘Harry said this’. It seemed like she was really into you.”

“Oh, wow.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Harry shrugged, trying to act cool and all that. “I’m just surprised. I thought she hated me.”

“I mean, she can still hate you if she has a crush on you,” said Dawson. “Also, why is she staying with you? Where’s her family?”

Harry shifted uncomfortably. “Why didn’t you ask her?”

“She kept mentioning her mother but nothing more than that, and she’d just change the subject whenever I tried to ask.”

Harry didn’t have enough time to think of a lie, so he blurted, “Her family was abusive.”

Dawson looked horrified, but he completely bought that. “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” he said. “She’s a lovely girl, though. I know that you don’t like her, but don’t break her heart. Turn her down nicely.”

Harry blinked. “What?”

“You don’t like Ezili, right?” Dawson asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Harry laughed, uneasily. “I mean no, I don’t.”

“Yeah, I know you don’t wanna be in a relationship.”

Harry didn’t want to be in a relationship, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel things. He guessed most people would just assume he had no heart because it was easier for them to make sense of why he wouldn’t settle down. In reality it was more complicated than that. He had had feelings for some people in the past, and he’d shut them down before he got to the point of no return. Ezi might be a dangerous creature, but he’d probably hurt more people than she had, mostly himself.

So did he like Ezi? Yes. He’d just realised that when his heart blossomed to the thought of her thinking about him on a date with his cousin. There was no denying that, as he only felt this way about his own songs. But was he happy about it? Well, yeah, of course he was happy about it. He was over the moon even. Still, that didn’t mean he should do something about it. He would just keep it to himself and wait–No, hope for it to pass.

Later that night, when Ezi came home from work, she went straight into the kitchen to eat from the fridge, and Harry came downstairs to find her sitting on the floor, munching off a sandwich in the fridge light glow. He watched her for a moment from the door before deciding to break the silence.

She flinched when hearing her name. She turned around, sandwich still in her mouth. “Did Dawson stop by?” she asked. “He said he would bring me my books.”

“Yeah, he did. I put them in your room,” Harry said, trying his best not to roll his eyes at the mention of his cousin. But then he remembered what Dawson had told him and came to sit beside her on the floor.

She ignored him and continued eating. She looked nothing like someone who had a crush on him, so what if Dawson had lied to him? He had never heard a lie from Dawson, but it didn’t mean Dawson was incapable of lying.

“Ezi, I wanna ask you something,” he said.

She finished her sandwich and reached into the fridge of ice cream. “Go ahead,” she said.

Harry started fidgeting with his shirt. “Why won’t you tell me about that date with Dawson?”

Ezi didn’t look at him as she said, “Do I have to tell you? It was personal.”

“Well, your sister was there,” he reasoned, “and she’s tried to kill me several times so I think I deserve to know some details about that night.”

Yes, Harry was curious about Ezi’s sister as well, but was it bad to say that he wanted to know more about what Ezi thought of him? Was it bad that Ezi’s feelings for him mattered more than his stupid life?

“My sister wasn’t there the whole time,” Ezi sighed and dipped her spoon into the ice cream. “I got rid of her at the fair then went for dinner with Dawson.”

“Oh,” Harry said, watching her intently as she ate. “So—”

“My sister wanted me to go back home.”

Harry froze. “Why?” he blurted, suddenly anxious. “I mean…does your mother want you back? Not that I think she won’t ever want you back—”

“No.” Ezi rolled her eyes. “My sister wants me to go back in return of the throne, so she can be Queen and allow me back into the Queendom.”

“But you wanna Queen?”

“I’m going to be Queen!” Ezi snapped. Seeing the shocked look on Harry’s face, she softened her voice, “I’m the firstborn. I’m going to be Queen. I have a year to…” Her voice trailed off and she spaced out for a second.

“To what?”

Ezi pressed her lips into a tight smile then said, “To stay here. My sister told me that my mother would take me back in a year.”

“That’s the punishment?” Harry chuckled. “Make you stay in this world where a handsome man takes care of you and buys you stuff?” Maybe siren mums weren’t as bad as he’d thought.

“And also bullies me 24/7,” Ezi said.

“Hey!” Harry put up his hands. “You bully me, too.”

“You literally told me you didn’t want to see me around the house.”

“Yeah, well, I like seeing you around the house now.”

“Liar,” Ezi said and took a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. Harry tried not to pay attention to the way she licked the spoon or think about licking ice cream from her lips, but he knew he was going to see a lot of that in his dreams tonight.

“I’m sorry about what I said that night,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Ezi held his gaze for two seconds, squinting her eyes. “Fine,” she said at last. “I forgive you.”

“Well, that was easy.”

“For now,” she added, putting the ice cream back into the fridge. “I’ll hate you again when I’m hungry.”

“You’re hungry eighty percent of the time!”

“Yeah.”

Harry chuckled as he watched her amber to the kitchen door. Clenching his fingers, he asked, “When’s your birthday?”

Ezi turned her head. “March 12. Why?”

“So I can say happy birthday to you on March 12.”

“Oh, thanks. Not looking forward to it, though.”

“Also,” Harry said fast before she left. “Do you wanna go to a party with me?”

.

.

.

Niall had just reached one million followers on TikTok, so he’d thrown a huge party at his mansion and invited his friends who had brought their friends and their friends’ friends. So the most influential people in the entertainment industry were at the party tonight.

Jeff had suggested that Harry bring Ezi so they could do some PDA stuff at the party to make headlines for the next few days. At first, Harry had planned to make up some excuses so he could go alone.

He and Ezi hadn’t kissed since that day in his mother’s closet. Well, actually, they had had a few pecks on the lips in public, but it’d only been for the paparazzi. It was hard to think about romance when there were at least ten cameras pointing at you.

Their first kiss, however, had been real and…hot. Harry couldn’t stop thinking about it. He didn’t know how Ezi felt since she never talked about it, but he had the impression that she had enjoyed it as much as he had. He couldn’t stop thinking about her flushed cheeks and plum lips as she pulled back, confused yet wanting more. In his dreams last night, they had been in that closet, but their clothes had been discarded, and he’d been pounding her against the wall. It was so hot. He’d had to wank twice when he woke up and he couldn’t make eye contact with Ezi in the kitchen during breakfast. Now he couldn’t get those images out of his mind.

“Harry.”

Harry jumped when his name was called. Ezi gave him a questioning look. She was wearing a little pink strap dress and her hair was in a high bun. She looked so cute tonight; his stylist had done a great job.

“You okay?” she asked, slipping her fingers into his. He knew it didn’t mean anything and she was only doing what Jeff had told her to. But he couldn’t stop the butterflies in his stomach from acting up. “It seemed like your soul left your body for a second.”

“Sorry, this loud music gives me a headache,” he said and finished his glass of wine. Ezi didn’t drink. “You wanna dance?”

Her gaze shot up in surprise. “Do you wanna dance?”

“What do you mean? I’m a fantastic dance partner.”

“But I’ve never danced before. I just got these legs a few weeks ago.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ll be good at it, I’m sure. We’ll wait for a slow song.”

Niall walked by just in time to overhear the conversation, so he shouted, “Slow song for my besties Harry and Ezili!”

Harry tried to stop Niall, but it was too late. Everyone in Niall’s living room was staring at him and Ezi. Jeff would be happy about this, but Harry didn’t think Ezi was. Her fingers tightened around his as she stepped closer, apparently uncomfortable with the intrusive glances they were receiving.

“Come on,” he said, pulling her close. “We’ll show them how great we are.”

“But I’m not—”

He didn’t let her finish and drag her out on the dance floor. There were a few couples slow-dancing around them, but Harry knew he and Ezi were the attention of tonight. In these people’s eyes, they were in love, completely infatuated with each other.

“Follow my lead,” he whispered in Ezi's ear while fixing her posture. “It’s easy.”

For a human who had been to too many of these dances, it was. But Ezi was barely good at walking. And so she ended up stepping on his feet repeatedly. The giggles of some women in the room made her even more anxious, so she almost stopped. But he reassured her by pulling her closer and lifting her chin so she was looking at him instead of them.

“Don’t be nervous. This is your little mermaid moment. Embrace it,” he said, making her smile.

“Ariel was a terrible dancer.”

“True. But she looked pretty stepping on the Prince’s feet.”

Ezi arched an eyebrow, amused. “Are you calling yourself the Prince?”

“I almost got casted for the role of Eric, by the way.”

“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes.

He acted offended. “No, it’s real.”

“As real as Santa Claus.”

“Santa Claus is real,” Harry argued. “Not you saying he isn’t when you’re literally a mythical creature.”

“Shut up,” she chuckled.

“Make me,” he replied.

Harry didn’t know who had initiated it. Maybe they had both leaned in at the same time. But this time as they shared a kiss in a crowded room, it felt like they were all alone in his mother’s closet once again. Of course he had to keep his hands respectfully on her lower back, but the kiss was still hot. He could feel himself being unravelled right there on the dance floor, and he liked the way her fingers twirled the hair at the back of his neck as they melted into one. But then people had to ruin the moment for them by filming it. Jeff would be happy; Harry wasn’t.

He had developed a special talent over the years as a celebrity and could always sense when someone was taking pictures of him. It made him uneasy and distracted, so he had to pull back. He supposed his twisted expression might have given Ezi the wrong idea. She thought it was her that made him uncomfortable. And for some stupid reason, Harry let her think that.

They left the party early because Ezi didn’t seem to enjoy it anymore. On the drive home, Harry tried to find a way to apologise for ruining the moment, but he didn’t know how to not make it awkward. She didn’t say a single word to him in the car, and he knew she wasn’t going to unless he started the conversation. But then he didn’t. And so she went to bed angry at him.

Harry felt really bad about it. He knew it wouldn’t be this way if he had communicated like a normal human being. But it wasn’t easy. He didn’t want to admit to her that he’d enjoyed kissing her, and he would’ve made out with her in front of all those people had it not been for who he was. He had wanted that moment to be real, but then he remembered it wasn’t, and he felt like he was taking advantage of her.

Maybe she felt that way, too. He wasn’t sure. Or she was just tired and didn’t really care about the kiss, and he was the one making a fuss out of it because he assumed he meant more to her than he really did. Again, Dawson could’ve lied. Ezi might not even have feelings for him. She might think he was a bad kisser even.

As Harry fell asleep that night, he dreamed about her again. They were alone in Niall’s mansion. The music was playing as they slow-danced but nobody was watching. She started kissing him, and he kissed her back. His hands reached around her to unzip her little pink dress and let it pool around her ankles. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath. His cock was rock hard when they went in for more kissing. Her tongue slid between his lips, her hands reaching for his belt as he fumbled on the buttons of his own shirt. Then he woke up with a tent on his crotch. It was three in the fucking morning, and he was having the worst erection in his life.

Harry slipped his hand under the duvet and started playing with it to relieve some tension, but just as he was about to cum, he heard a loud crash downstairs. Instant boner killer.

“Ezi!” he shouted in frustration, slipped on his boxers and marched out of the room.

“I’m sorry!” Ezi’s voice echoed from downstairs. Harry groaned and headed down to the kitchen where he found her collecting broken pieces of a vase she’d knocked over.

“Just leave it,” he said, grabbing her wrists and pulling her up and away from the glass. “You’d hurt yourself, idiot.”

“I’m sorry. It was dark. I couldn’t see.”

“Why didn’t you turn on the lights?”

She shrugged, which made him laugh, because that was very Ezi of her. “You’re a dumbass,” he said.

“I’m not,” she pouted.

“You are. This only happens to dumbasses.”

“Gosh, you’re an asshole,” she mumbled, arms crossed. She was standing with her back to the counter, and he was blocking her way from the door. Of course she could always sidestep him to leave, but instead, she stayed there, just awkwardly chewing on her nail. She was wearing nothing but a loose white shirt of his. And this time, Harry wasn’t complaining.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she said.

“I’m not even looking at you,” he said, yet staring right at her face.

“You are.”

“How would you know? Unless you’re also looking at me.”

“This is stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

“No, you—” Ezi’s voice cut off; her gaze dropped to his mouth as if she hadn’t realised how close they were until now. Harry knew that look so well, and usually it would be a sign for him to make a move. But this was Ezi.

“I should go back to bed,” she said, eyes meeting his again.

He nodded, but didn’t get out of the way.

Again, he didn’t know who leaned in first. The moment their mouths collided, all his thoughts evaporated; his walls crumbled, and he was powerless, unable to pull back. There was a kind of power in the way she kissed that he could not resist. He was all hers.

He tightened his arms around her hips as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he lifted her onto the counter. He could feel his erection growing again in his pants. It didn’t take too long for it to turn fully hard, and she obviously felt it, so she pulled back from their kiss, panting. “It’s…”

“Ignore it,” he breathed, kissing her again, making his way down to her neck and chest. She was squirming now, and he wondered if she was also feeling things down there. “Are you wet?” he asked breathlessly against her lips.

She blinked, confused. “No, I’m dry.”

“No, Ezi,” Harry chuckled, face buried in her neck. “I mean, are you wet between your legs?”

“Oh.” She licked her perfect lips and nodded once. “Yeah. Like most of the time.”

Harry’s whole body went stiff. “What?”

“Like...whenever I think of us kissing,” Ezi admitted innocently.

Harry didn’t know which was hotter. The fact that they were both half-naked and horny right now, or the fact that she got turned on just from thinking of kissing him.

“What do you usually do when it happens?” he asked, adding soft kisses to her lips.

Her fists tightened on his back, her eyelids fluttering. “I r-rub my thighs together.”

Harry smiled as his cock twitched to the thought of it. “Does that feel good?”

Ezi nodded.

“Want me to help you feel even better?”

“You can?”

Harry nodded. He knew it wasn’t right to have sex with her when she didn’t even know what it was, so he wouldn’t rush it. He was just going to help her.

He kissed her once more and got down on his knees between her legs. She looked so hot all spread out in front of him with just his shirt and panties on. She wasn’t lying when she said she was wet. Her panties were completely soaked as he slid them off. She shivered a little yet didn’t protest. She wanted him to help.

He started by kissing her inner thigh. She had the prettiest pussy he had ever seen. He could just cum to the thought of licking her, and he swore he almost did when he took the first try. Her hips jolted, and he glanced up to meet her confused stare.

“If you want me to stop, just say it, okay?”

“Okay,” she replied, biting her nail.

He held her eye contact as he started licking. She tasted as sweet as he’d imagined in those dreams. He still couldn’t believe this was real, but god, the sounds she made sent him to heaven. He dipped his tongue into her and her hands flew to the back of his neck. For a moment she forgot everything and started moving her hips against his face. Fuck. It turned him on so much. He slipped his hand into his boxers and gave himself a few strokes. Then she started to moan, and he worked his hand faster while flicking his tongue into her. He fucked himself until she cummed and made a mess inside his pants, cum dripping onto the floor.

“Is that milk?” Her question got him cackling as he got back to his feet, holding onto the counter on either side of her so he wouldn’t fall. He had never cummed so much; it had literally drained him out.

“No, it’s not milk,” he said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. She looked so fucked out as well, which made him feel so proud. “Did you like that?”

“Yes,” she said shyly. “Did you?”

“Very much,” he said. “I would kiss you again if I hadn’t just eaten you out. Not sure how you’d like it.”

A look of horror crossed Ezi’s face as she quickly checked between her legs.

“No!” Harry laughed. “I didn’t literally eat you. It’s what it’s called.”

“Oh.”

“Dummy.”

“Is it like...sex stuff?”

“Not really sex, just part of the sex. So yeah, sex stuff,” Harry explained, not sure how to feel about this situation. Now that post-nut clarity had hit, he started to feel a bit guilty, but it didn’t he wasn’t proud of himself for making her cum so hard her legs were shaking.

“I still want to kiss, though,” Ezi said shyly. “I don’t care.”

“Oh, yeah?” Harry smiled. He liked seeing her blush because of him.

With a nod, she pulled him back in.

[odos-bucket]

Bruce Being Super Protective of His Kids in Their Out-Of-Costume Lives Pt. 2 Re-Write

Basically this story with a little bit of extra angst injected in

Jason isn’t particularly well adapted to the kinds of social gatherings that Bruce’s position within the city demands they participate in. He attends his first event a few months into his stay at Wayne manor. He goes in fully expecting it to be terrible, and is not disappointed.

The old ladies trying to pinch his cheeks were something that Dick had warned him about. His tone had been light, like maybe it was something that he thought was funny, or was trying to think of as funny. But Jason doesn’t like to be touched, not by people he doesn’t know. He's only just starting to feel okay about casual physical affection from his new family. He doesn’t think Dick was trying to scare him exactly, but he accomplishes it anyway.

From the time the shindig begins he’s wound so tight he’s practically vibrating. He has no idea how he’s supposed to act at something like this. Things he’s never thought about before are suddenly tormenting him. He can’t figure out how to stand, or what he should be doing with his hands. He’s never been self conscious, but now he’s in this stupid room, wearing this stupid suit, surrounded by these stupid people, and it’s making him feel awkward.

The first time somebody tries to touch him he flinches away violently. He doesn’t mean to; it’s just what happens. It earns him a series of incredulous looks, from the man who had made the mistake of putting a hand on his shoulder, and a few other people in the vicinity.

Jason relocates himself quickly, not that one corner of the large room is really any better than any other.
 The next time someone tries to touch him, it’s his face. He had already decided that he didn’t like the woman in question before it happened. Her voice is an annoying pitch. Her words are all condescending. And even before reaching out for him she had been standing way too close.

If the proximity hadn’t been enough to put him on high alert the patronizing way she spoke to him certainly would have done it.

When her fingers come to press against his chin- as if she wants to turn his head to examine him- he pushes her away. Again, he doesn’t mean to do it exactly. It’s an instinctive reaction (and a pretty reasonable one, he thinks).

This time, however, he gets more than a few suspicious stares. The movement itself had been subtle enough not to draw any attention he didn’t already have. But the woman replies with an outraged squawk, that suddenly brings dozens of eyes onto them, and sets Jason’s heart racing at a panicked pace.
 He freezes. Being stared at had been pretty high on his list of things to avoid tonight. And now people are talking too.
 “Why you little-“

“What happened?”

“Wayne’s little rat-“

“Did you just hit her?”

“Delinquent-“

“Did he just hit her?!”

The woman he shoved looks like she might be about to slap him, but he’s honestly less concerned about that than he is about the mix of curious and indignant bystanders drawing closer. They’re not surrounding him really, but it sure as hell feels like they’re trying to, and Jason’s had enough experiences being surrounded to know that it never leads to anything good. At the moment he’s having a hard time processing anything beyond the terrified impulse to lash out again, not to hurt anyone, just to get them away, so that maybe he can get away.

“What the hell is going on here?”

Oh god, Bruce. Jason’s not surprised the scene got his attention, but he’s a little startled to hear a much darker tone than his regular civilian voice.

Every muscle in his body that wasn't already tense tightens up, and heat flares at the back of his neck. He doesn't want to be in trouble. He doesn't even really know what being in trouble means in this new life yet, and he's been hoping to put off finding out as long as possible.

Bruce forces his way through the crowd. Some of the onlookers redirect their attention away as he approaches. A handful of voices from different directions make overlapping attempts to answer his question. Jason hears something about how he’s, “not as well behaved as your last stray,” but isn’t looking up in time to see how the comment makes Bruce bristle, and just feels the warm shame that he wishes it didn’t ignite in him.

Bruce reaches them in seconds, takes in the woman’s body language, and immediately drags her several feet back from Jason. When he speaks, he manages to sound like Batman (at least to Jason’s knowing ears), even without the voice modulator.

"You will never put your hands on my child again.”

Jason's not sure what he had been expecting Bruce to say, but that wasn't it, and hearing it gives him whiplash, makes his heart that had already been beating in his throat stutter to a halt.

“I didn-“ the woman begins. “Your urchin-“

“Did you touch him?” Bruce's voice is deceptively calm.

“I was only-“

“Yes or no.”

“I didn’t hurt him,” she scoffs.

“That isn’t what I asked.”

Jason wants to say that it doesn't matter, that it isn't a big deal, because really it shouldn't be. He shouldn't be afraid to be touched; it's just one more thing about him that so glaringly doesn't belong. But he's still not sure whether or not he's in trouble, and if he is then he's learned from experience that it's better to keep his mouth shut.

“Mr. Wayne, the kid attacked her. All she did was touch him.” One of the few onlookers who isn’t pretending not to be paying attention pipes in.
 Bruce’s jaw grinds, as he looks slowly between the man who had spoken, and the woman.

“So you did touch him?”

“This is ridiculous!”

It's somehow the worst thing she could have possibly said. Jason already knows he's ridiculous. He can feel it with every fiber of his being, and the confirmation that everyone else can apparently see it too sparks a stinging sensation at the back of his throat.

“On that we’re agreed.” Bruce slips further into his regular public persona as he speaks, and Jason flinches slightly at his words.

Bruce looks over the remains of the audience they’d acquired, making pointed eye contact, silently subduing any conflict before it can arise. By the time he turns back to where the woman had been standing, she’s hurried away. The sparse handful of people still shooting them scandalized glares are at least a little easier to ignore.

Bruce approaches Jason, who forces himself to keep his eyes open and his gaze up.

He's getting ready to apologize. He hadn't wanted to embarrass Bruce, or to get him in trouble with whoever the hell those people had been- with his luck probably someone important. He doesn't want to be in trouble either, but he recognizes that that ship has probably sailed already. He just wishes he knew what kind of punishment to expect; he hasn't been here that long, and adult behavior is hard to predict.

“Are you okay?”

Jason blinks, and apparently it takes him longer than he thinks to process and respond to the question, because Bruce asks it again.

This time he nods, figuring it’d be pretty stupid for him not to be okay.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Bruce asks.

Jason knows that it's not really a question; he's already done enough damage for the night after all. He nods his head. He’s not totally sure how to get back to the manor from here- he still doesn’t know this part of town very well- but he’s sure he’ll be able to figure it out before Bruce wraps up here.

“Let’s get our coats.”

Jason looks up in surprise, but Bruce is already walking away.

Right. He guesses it makes more sense that they’d be leaving together. He's noticed that rich families like to keep any shows of conflict private. One of the consequences of which being that he still doesn’t know how the hell these people discipline their children.

He nods again, cheeks still burning with embarrassment.

-

They leave the party without further incident, catching a cab back to the manor.

Bruce observes Jason’s defensive body language as they slide into the backseat.

“Are you sure you’re okay, lad?” He asks slowly.

He receives a tight nod in reply, and sighs.

“Do you want to help me get a better picture of what happened in there?”

Because what he’s looking at isn’t okay. He’s seen his witty, outgoing child shut down like this before, and it usually means he’s scared. Bruce needs to know if he was spooked by something innocuous, or if he’s going to need to hurt someone.

Jason turns from being seemingly caught off guard by the question, to apparently desperate to answer it in the span of a second.

“I swear I didn’t hit her! It was just that she-“ He shakes his head, apparently deciding against whatever he’d been about to say. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what? You’re not in trouble, Jason, not unless I’m really missing something here.”

That earns him a long suspicious look.

“I don’t like to be touched,” Jason grumbles after a minute.

“And people shouldn’t feel entitled to touch you.”

He learned pretty quickly when he first became a parent not to assume that adults would always respect children’s boundaries. And he knows that Jason has been hurt. He’s not sure exactly how, or by who, but the signs are all there. And he shouldn’t have to deal with being forcibly reminded of that by the carelessness of others; he’s a kid for god’s sake!

“Is that all-“ He stops himself from finishing the question. “People shouldn’t feel entitled to touch you,” he reiterates. “Can you tell me if anything else happened? If anyone hurt you, or threatened you?”

Jason starts to shake his head, but stops with his neck angled slightly toward Bruce.

“I thought she was gonna hit me,” he admits.

Bruce’s body tenses up. He had noticed that himself when he’d first entered the scene, and what he had read in her body language had made him see red.

“And then there were so many other people,” Jason continues. “And they were talking, and staring at me. It had me feeling kind of boxed in.”

“I’m so sorry, son.”

Jason looks a little startled up at him.

“Just to be clear,” he says slowly. “I’m not in trouble?”

“You’re not in trouble,” Bruce confirms. “I promise I will always do whatever I can to protect you from people like that.”

[hotwings0203]

This is so utterly stupid but I have a few HC’s about Muslim Dabi(again obv this isn’t canon I just think it’s funny)

-Dabi would def be the type of Muslim dude who claims to be super religious cuz he never eats pork and “goes to the mosque to pray”(which is actually just code for hitting a blunt in the back of the parking lot w Hawks and Shigaraki💀), but yet smokes^^ and still has hella sex with like every other girl who bats her lashes at him from across the dining hall

-he also is a big cat lover, he claims since the Prophet Muhammad had cats of his own it’s sunnah to keep one

-on Eid namaz he’s the most dripped out one at the session, I’m talking black kurta dress, nice ass watch, slicked back hair...but funny enough, no one has actually seen him in line for the prayers themselves

-if he were back at home with the rest of the Todoroki’s, he’d most definitely be THE MOST spoiled one. Fuyumi would get on his ass for not cleaning the dishes, but he’d wave her off and tell her it’s training for her to be a better housewife for her future husband(cue a soapy sponge thrown at his head)

-Snitches.Constantly. Bro like this dude catches Shoto on his phone when he’s supposed to be doing a dua? Boom, instant callout followed by a long ass lecture about how he’s straying away from his religion and how he’s going to hell just because he spent one measly moment on his device instead of praising da lord

-Hes also always telling fuyumi to cover up her sleeves that come just a bittt before her wrists, claiming that she’s showing too much skin(especially when Hawks is over, that fucker’s got his eyes on every single one of his family members). But she’s quick to point out his secret tattoos, piercings, and hair dyes. He just scoffs and pulls the “women were created lesser than men so it’s okay for me to act a fool but not for you” card🙄stg I can’t stand him

-Since he’s the closest to Natsu, he’s always giving Eid money to him the most. The dude will slouch against his favorite brothers’ door, watching him play 2K. “What do you want?” Natsu asks with no real malice, not taking his eyes off the changing screen, furiously clicking away on his controller. “Mom says you gotta iron your clothes, Fuyumi’s doing her own so she can’t do yours as well. Oh, and Eid Mubarak by the way.” Natsu pauses him game and stands to stretch his arms above his head, groaning at the tendons popping in place on his back. “Yeah man, you too-what’s that?” He points to a fat parcel in Touya’s hand. The white-haired boy grins and chucks the bulging package at him, which Natsu catches easily. His eyes widen when he tears open the cream-colored paper envelope and reveals dozens of bills exceeding the usual 5-10$ family limit. “Yo, what-how-thanks Touya!” He sputters, throwing the package on his bed and throwing an arm around his brothers’ back in a man-hug. Touya rolls his eyes and barely suppresses a smile at Natsu’s excitement,(something he’s always wanting to be the source of) pounding his back to let go before he asphyxiates. He lets go and Touya smirks before heading towards the door, calling out over his shoulder, “Oh, and I’d thank Sho-turd as well while you’re singing my praise.” Natsu stops in his tracks and looks suspiciously at the withdrawing slender figure. “Why?”. Touya’s voice is distant as he moves to close and lock his door. “‘Cuz it’s his money after all.”

-The two brothers are always waking up at Sehri the earliest in Ramadhan, just so they can scarf down a majority of the food in the fridge and go to sleep without having to interact with the rest of their family at sunrise. And in the case that their family DOES wake up in time to see them chomping down food made for a WHOLE FAMILY and not just two boys, Touya is quick to grab his keys and jacket and cackle that him and Natsu are going to iHop to eat some more. Natsu ofc is quick to follow pursuit, throwing an apologetic grin towards his parents and other siblings.

-When they’re at the mosque and Enji has somehow bullied him enough to sit the hell down and actually ATTEND the lectures for once, Touya still has one up his sleeve. Planned out strategically, he always simpers to Rei that he wants to donate to the mosque, causing her eyes to water and a handful of cash thrown his way, her voice wobbly as she praises her son for actually taking the foundations of his religion seriously. Unbeknownst to her however, this just means that he’ll take a little bit more than he gives. Hawks will be standing at the front of the hall, bowing his head and using his silver tongue to graciously thank the many men and women who come forth to drop their allowance into the money basket. When he sees his best man approaching, he has to stop the smug grin from reaching his ears, instead slanting his brows and holding the basket out to the now black-haired thief. “Glad to see you’re taking eternal damnation seriously, for once,” Keigo flashes his perky whites and Dabi drops Rei’s money into the donation basket, dipping his hand a little lower for a second. “Glad to see you’re still standing here like some busboy peasant, as usual,” he fires back, the two boys catching each other’s eyes and stifling their cackles as the patched hand withdraws, a copious amount of bills in his hand, more than what he put in.

-100% steals shoes. Usually you hear about older men doing this, but age aint nothin’ but a number to Dabi, baby. “Nice kicks,” he nods to a boy Natsu’s age, noting the blue and black minimalist patterns adorning the shoes. The boy recognizes Dabi as one of the most revered figures at the mosque (and the most featured by adults. Who’d want their kid hanging out with the eldest Todoroki as an influence?) and bobs his head excitedly, spewing out the manufacture and release dates of the shoes. Dabi looks at the fanboy amusedly, continuing to lean against the shoe rack as more people crowd around and start to push the boy inside. “See you later Dabi!” The eccentric kid calls out as he’s pushed into the hall by grumbling uncles. The ravenette snickers fo himself, “Yeah, but you won’t be seeing these shoes anytime soon.”

-A notorious playboy in the community. Uncles glare at him, unable to scold him outright for his shenanigans due to his father’s close presence, and aunties steer their children away from him at dinner parties. Speaking of, Dabi’s at a dinner right now. He’s lighting up a joint in amongst 3 mesmerized girls sitting on the floor in front of him and 2 jealous dudes his age in a locked room, away from all the screaming little kids. “Wow Dabi, doesn’t it burn?” The youngest of the three girls asks him with imploring eyes. He smiles a charming smile down at her and he thinks he sees the other two swoon. “Nah, sweetheart, you get used to it after a little while. Don’t be like me though, keep yourself pure and clean,” he shoots a wink at them and they giggle, faces turning red. The other two boys sitting at the far end of the bed scowl at his successful flirting, but Dabi doesn’t care for any of them, honestly, they’re just target practice. Right as he inhaled the fumes of another puff, a little body throws itself at the door, banging its fists on the wood. “It’s time for food!” They all jump at the intrusion and chuckle as the intruder runs away, containing to scream about food being served. The group gets up to leave and exits through the door, but Dabi takes his time. He wasn’t done with his joint, and he has to waft the smell away anyways when he leaves. He’s opening a window to let out some air when he heads a soft shuffle from behind him. “Shows over guys, go eat-“ but when he turns around, the oldest girl of the three stands before him, fiddling with her hands and looking at the floor. “Um, Dabi? I know you said not to try it out by ourselves so...I was wondering if you could-if you could teach me how...?” She looks at the half-used roll in his hand, and he looks from the blunt to her face. He looks behind her. A closed door. Perfect. Taking a step forwards, he relishes in how she takes a hesitant step back, the breath in her throat catching but she still doesn’t back down. She looks to him like he’s a god, and he feels like one right now. And so he steps closer until she’s backed against the wall, his lids lowered to her wide ones, and he placed a hand next to her head. “Didnt your mom ever tell you not to take things from strangers?” He ghosts by the shell of her ear, and she shivers. “She never told me the strangers would be this hot,” and he has to laugh a bit at her tenacity. He pulls away and flops back on the bed, signaling for her to join him. “Well come one then, I’m hungry, better hurry up before I change my mind.” And 5 shotguns later, Dabi barely wipes off her bright pink lipstick from his face and straightens his kurta along with his hair before bounding down the steps, eager for food. At his command, she comes down a minute after him as to not cause any suspicion, but it doesn’t stop Rei from shooting him a knowing glare from the living room as he piles his plate with food. He shoves a veggie roll in his mouth as he turns to join the boys in the dining area, but his path is blocked by a large woman. “I know you’re up to no good. The children told me what funny smell was coming from the room upstairs, and I know you’re to blame, Touya Todoroki. I respect your mother a lot so I won’t make a scene here-“ he interrupts her, mouth half full with a roll, “-I mean, you already kinda are,-“ but she continues her tirade. “-I don’t think you’re a good influence on these kids, especially your siblings. What self respecting family would be okay with their son acting like a hooligan, having piercings, smelling like weed?” He smirks and swallows before swerving around her. “I don’t know Aunty, why don’t you ask your daughter? She didn’t seem to mind my, ah, influence.”

-When they were all younger, there was a time where End*avor wanted the boys the toughen up a bit and stop messing around so much. He brought the family up to the mountains in a nice cabin, purposefully choosing an area with farms nearby. It was around the time of Eid-e-Adha, so naturally goats and sheep’s were going to be sacrificed for the family feast. Touya already knew what was going on, so Enji left it up to him, a scrawny preteen boy to take over the initiation. Fuyumi wanted to come to the farm too, but Touya glared at her and told her to stay home because “girls are too emotional for this.”(he really did think that, but above all he held a secret soft spot for his only younger sister). Natsu and Touya both started heading down to the field to pick out a goat, and ofc little Shoto wanted to come along to. He begged and begged for his older brothers to bring him along and to not leave him at home for once, and with a sly glance to Natsu, Touya relented. He leaned down to Shoto’s eye-level and asked with serious eyes, “You sure?”. Shoto nodded eagerly, standing straight up as to look more solemn and mature. Natsu held back a snicker and grabbed Shoto by the collar as they dragged him out to the pasture. Oh, the little boy was in heaven among the bleating sheep and fluffy coats. “Go ahead, pick one out!” Touya said eagerly, nodding to the clueless toddler to choose a sacrificial sheep. And so the heterochromatic child pointed to one, looking to his big brothers for assurance, to which they gave an excited nod. Shoto yelped with glee and spent the rest of the afternoon frolicking with the soon-to-be-mutton chops, completely oblivious to its grim fate and creating a bond with the animal. So when it was finally sunset and the time came to start preparing for the feast, Touya walked over leisurely to Shoto, pushed the grubby hand away from the animal’s collar, and started pulling the creature towards the chopping block. “W-what’re you doing?” Shoto asked uncertainty. “Well, we gotta eat, right? Thanks for picking out such a fat sheep, ‘wonder how it’s gonna taste,”. The eldest grinned with malice at his youngest brother, who started to sniffle and ball his fists. “You’re lying! Leave it alone!” He cried out. “Nope, m’not lying, ask Natsu.” Natsu turns to Shoto and shrugs his shoulders without any real regret. “You’re the one who wanted to come along, right? Think of how proud dad will be of his favorite-he finally sacrificed his first sheep!”

-the first time he was ever asked to lead the namaz, Keigo and Tomura kept kicking the back of his legs so he would fall over while trying to recite the prayers, and in turn he’d immediately whip around in the middle of the whole damn hall and shoot fire at the two howling boys. Needless to say, he was never asked to read again

(one would think since Dabi knows sooo much about being a gOoD mUsLim and how to follow the rules he’d take some of that advice HIMSELF)

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Harry Osborn x Parker!Reader

A/N: This was kind of the crack fever dream type of imagine so like don’t judge me

Harry has a YouTube channel that’s pretty popular

Cuz let’s be honest who doesn’t want to watch a rich kid blog about his life

One day he’s planning a challenge to do with his best friend

i.e. Peter Parker

Unfortunately, though, Peter had to go and save the world

So, he sent you in his place

Now Peter knew Harry would be upset that he had to bail on him

Again

But sending you in place of him was a very smart move on Peter’s part

Because he knew about the crush that Harry had on you

And while he didn’t appreciate it

Or even understand it to be honest

He still used it to his advantage

So, when you show up at Harry’s door with a wide smile and apology donuts from Peter, Harry has no choice but to let you in

And that’s how you end up filming a cooking challenge with Harry

“Hey guys so even though I told you my best friend would be here, unfortunately he couldn’t make it so I have something even better! Here’s (Y/N)!”

The two of you actually have a blast playing this game

Halfway through Harry starts taking questions from twitter

“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for each other?” Harry read from his phone while you tried to get the sauce jar open

He grabbed it and did it for you

“Hmmm I pretended to be your girlfriend because there was a girl at school who wouldn’t stop sitting in your lap?”

Harry burst into laughter after hearing that, nearly dropping his phone

“I forgot about that!”

While you were still recording, he asked you what you wanted for your birthday this year

“Hmm a jet.”

He laughed, chopping a few vegetables

“What colour?”

“Really?”

“No. But seriously, what do you want for your birthday?”

“Money?”

He laughed this time

“Are you so greedy?”

“Yep, little rich boy, I want all your cash.”

It was kinda quiet after that while the two of you were silently cutting vegetables before you spoke up

“Hey, Harry?”

“Hm?”

“If I married you, would I get half your money?”

You didn’t even look up to see Harry blush bright red and hold a hand to his chest trying to calm his heart

And in the most strained voice

“Yep.”

“Cool, let’s have a summer wedding.”

The whole video is filled with you both flirting this way

The editors had such a great time editing this video

And when it finally got posted his fans absolutely loved it

It being such a hit that you show up in more videos with Harry

You ended up doing a lot of challenges together

Smoothie challenge

Pizza Challenge

Letting the person ahead of you choose what to order

Shopping spree under one minute

Every challenge under the face of the sun has been done by the two of you

Everybody talking about how the two of you should start dating

I mean Everybody

Like a hundred different students coming up to you on Monday morning asking if you’re dating Harry Osborn

And the whole time you’re like

“Nope, not dating him.”

Peter is kind of fed up because there are like a hundred people he knows who are asking him about it

Aunt May also saw a few tweets about it

Harry actually feeling so apologetic about it but you just brush it off saying that it’s fine

Him actually asking you out later and you wondering if he’s doing it cuz people are pressuring him

So, you say no

And he’s super upset by it

So upset that Peter actually ends up hearing him talk about it for like 6 hours

Before he thinks he’s had just about enough of this and goes to tell you that Harry is actually crazy about you

He’s just like “I know he’s my best friend but please get him off my hands.”

And then you agree to date him

And Peter isn’t sure if he should be happy about it

“You’re my best friend, Harry but I’m not sure I like you enough to be my brother.”

But the two of you are pretty happy so who cares about what Peter thinks right?

Harry actually spooling you but you being like stop I’m not with you for your money

“I have actual recorded footage of you asking to marry me for the money.”

He’s so sweet to you

Pretty touch starved so he loves cuddling and you really don’t protest

The kind of boyfriend who won’t really notice when something is wrong unless you tell him

But he’s also the type who calls you beautiful just because 

Peter gets sick of being the third wheel very quickly

You would think that Norman would have been snooty and rude to you

But he’s actually so cool about your relationship

After he got de-goblinized he was even better to you

The three of you actually did a challenge on YouTube together

It was incredibly awkward

But hey fans found it funny so why not

After a while the channel stopped being his and actually became both of yours

But the two of you love vlogging and things like that so it’s kind of worth it

Being literal high school sweethearts even though Harry graduated a year ahead of you

Harry picked you up from school in a limo every other day because he wants to show other guys that you’re his

You didn’t feel the need to do the same

Until one day someone brought to your attention that the girls in his college was very pretty

So, you ended up picking him up from college the next day

And then making out in the backseat of the limo

While it is difficult putting your relationship online

You also like to show him off and you love the community the two of you have

Dating all the way through college

Fans making compilations of the two of you

‘Harry and (Y/N) being in love for 24 minutes straight’

“Harry and (Y/N) being couple goals’

There was this one time that Harry was doing an Instagram live from his bed

Fans practically freaked out once they noticed you were sleeping beside him

Peter freaking out too and telling him to send you home

Tries to get Aunt May to call you home

But she’s just like

“They’re adults they can do whatever they want”

So, Peter does the responsible and mature thing

Goes all the way over to Harry’s penthouse to supervise

Harry just ignoring him and going back to sleep while cuddling you

And Peter tries to stay outside and spy

But he ends up feeling weird and embarrassed so he lets himself out

And you crack open one eye like

“Is he gone yet?”

Dating Harry Osborn is really fun and there’s always something new

It’s very refreshing to be with him

And also, you always feel loved

Spoiler you actually do end up having a summer wedding

[peachpitfics]

Mistletoe

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Request: No

Summary: Every year Rossi holds a Christmas Eve dinner, the Team and their little families attend. This is your first one, and coincidentally, you get caught under the mistletoe.

Length: 2.6k

Pairing: SpencerReid x Female!Reader

Content Warnings: ~none~ 

A/N: Hiiii, this is super fluffy and sweet. Hopefully the first of a few Christmas themed fics. I hope you like it!!

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You never had anywhere to go for the holidays. You had no real family, moved to a new state, and joined a new force only a few weeks ago. The new team you worked with was a tight knit family. They had been together for years and while they were welcoming and did their best not to exclude you, it was hard to bear the inside jokes and recalling of memories you were not a part of. What shocked and surprised you most about their bond, was the family Christmas held at Rossi’s huge house. Everyone, and their families would come, eat a glorious Christmas dinner, and spend it together.

You rang the doorbell and stood, rugged up on the doorstep, huge wooden and glass double doors in front of you. Dave answered the door, arms wide open as he took you in a loving embrace. “Thanks for inviting me” You shuffled into the house awkwardly, passing Rossi two bottles of wine as he showed you where you could shed your winter coverings. Rossi’s house was beautifully decorated from top to bottom. You were sure it had to have been professionally done. “Thank you y/n, this is great. I’m so glad you could make it out here tonight” Dave beamed at you, “And you look beautiful”. You hadn’t put too much effort in tonight but dressed nicely for dinner at least. What he said made you blush; you hid your face as he led you into the dining room. “Hey! Looks who’s here” Morgan smiled across the table. Garcia, sitting next to him, waving overly excitedly. You waved back, clearly not having had any eggnog. As you sat down, in between Hotch and JJ, Hotch poured eggnog into your glass and clinked glasses with you. “We’re just waiting on the kid, he said he was on the phone with his Mom. But he should be almost here” Rossi shared with them.

They all sat around the table, laughing at Garcia who was intoxicated, conversing over Christmas memories from their childhood. Not all of them were overly happy memories, just thoughts of a simpler time. “What about you, y/n? Favourite Christmas memory from when you were a child?” Hotch asked. Emily looked worriedly at you, she had been the one you spoke to and got to know out of everybody. “Well... um” Clearing your throat, you paused as Spencer walked in and slipped into his seat beside Garcia and across from you. “Yeah, okay. I think I was about 8... I was in my second group home and there were about 15 kids of all different ages. The church choir stopped by to sing carols to us in the evening; and, uh, we had a roast chicken, a lot of us had never experienced Christmas before so it was pretty wonderful. The church also brought us a box of second-hand toys, which was lovely. I think that’s probably the best one” Everyone stared at you in awe. The type of awe you were dreading. You shuffled uncomfortably in your seat as they started to notice that the staring was out of control. “I didn’t know you were a foster kid” Morgan said somberly, having grown up in an area with a lot of foster kids himself. “Yeah, I was. It wasn’t so bad” You smiled softly, begging someone to take the attention off of you. “Sorry I’m late, you guys, my Mother was reminiscing about Christmas in 1969” Spencer chuckled awkwardly. And that was the end of it, their focus was changed, and Spencer was explaining his Mother’s story, which in turn was quite boring.

Within 30 minutes, Rossi and several servers emerged from the kitchen, bringing platters and large bowls and more wine. It was the most extravagant thing you’d seen in your whole life. I’ve never even been a restaurant this nice, you thought to yourself, watching as they served. Rossi held in his hands an exceptionally large knife, whilst standing over the bird, gathering everyone’s attention. “For me, Christmas means being with family. Sharing it with you, makes it the most precious and special time of the year” Rossi paused, “To family”. Everyone raised their glasses and repeated the toast back to him. He carved the meat, and you all passed the fixings round the table. It was the most delicious food you’d ever had. You began to wonder if everyone with a family had a lovely Christmas like this every year.

Before long, the kids were playing hide and seek throughout the house as all the adults made their way into the awesomely large sitting room. Everyone gathered around, sitting in the settee’s or on the rug by the fireplace. “Anyone care for brandy and a cigar?” Rossi asked. “Am I in a game of Clue?” Garcia looked around the room, “Where the hell is Miss Scarlet, I want to ask her some questions”. People snickered at her comments, she got more sarcastically funny as she got further intoxicated. “No seriously, would anyone like a drink?” Rossi stood by his sideboard bar, crystal decanters lined up with matching glasses. “Scotch, for me Dave, thank you” Hotch nodded. “I’ll take one of those as well” Emily smiled. “Not for me, I’m driving” Will grinned at JJ, hoping she would have another drink and let her hair down a little. You noticed this and nudged JJ in the side, “I brought more wine” You raised your eyebrows cheekily at her.

She looked long and hard into your eyes, really thinking over how hectic the headache was going to be in the morning. “Screw it” She mumbled, caving in to your devilish look, “Go get the wine” She lightly tapped your arm. “Oh no, come on y/n, I’ll go” Rossi offered. “Seriously, it’s fine, I’m sure I won’t get lost on the way back or anything” You giggled, jumping up from the floor and heading towards the big arch way through to the foyer. “Hey, y/n!” Spencer stopped you in the doorway, “Would you mind getting me a glass of water?” He asked in a soft tone. You nodded happily; it was an easy request.

“Hold on...” Hotch said quickly. They all stared at you again. “You can’t move” Hotch smiled gently, “You’re under the mistletoe”. Everyone laughed and gaped as Hotch caught you out under the mistletoe. “What do you mean I can’t move?” You laughed, as if this were a silly game. “In the Rossi house, if you pause under mistletoe and get caught out, you have to wait there until someone kisses you” Dave explained. Obviously Hotch had been caught before and was now pointing out Rossi’s next victim. “Who’s gonna do it?” Garcia looked intrigued, waiting for the war between them to begin while you stood there, knees shaking at the thought of having to kiss someone on the team. “Well, I’m out” Rossi said, having reconnected with an old lover recently. Will and JJ snuggled closer together, that was an obvious no. Hotch uncomfortably sat back into the settee, smiling cheekily into his glass.

A few faces turned to Morgan. “Hey now, that’s usually my style, but I’m seein’ somebody at the moment” Morgan shrugged, hoping Penelope wouldn’t pull him apart over the comment he made. Which inevitably, she did. “Can’t I just go to the kitchen, come on, this is silly” You spoke over them, they were discussing among them who should be the one to kiss you and set you free from the nasty grip of the mistletoe. “It’s gotta be Reid” Emily’s voice rang out over all of the incoherent babbling.

Spencer had been laughing and watching this unfold around him, blending into the leather settee like a chameleon. Now that the faces turned to him, he flushed red and he eyes grew wider. “Ha ha, you guys” Spencer tried to redirect, blushing madly “Emily, it’s you! You know it’s you” He laughed awkwardly. “It could be me; I just don’t really think that’s y/n’s speed... whereas you...” She let the rest of the team join in on the end. “Yeah I don’t think she swings that way” JJ looked back at Emily, shaking their heads together negatively. “Which leaves you Spencer, everyone else is attached at the moment” Hotch's voice seemed confident and firm, but had a hint of a giggle in it.

This started to seem like a set up to you, everyone was grimacing, smirking up at you. No one else tonight had been caught under mistletoe and there was no shortage of it in this house. You crossed your arms in front of you and lovingly glared back at each of them. “Come on Spence” JJ grabbed his knee and shook it, as if this provided some sort of moral support. “Spencer! Spencer! Spencer!” Penelope started a chant and within seconds, they had all joined in. “Okay! Okay, okay, you can stop doing that now. The peer pressure has worked” Spencer’s face couldn’t not smile. His cheeks tugged tightly at his lips, and though his face was red, he looked pleasantly excited. Reid stepped over JJ and slowly approached the door frame. He got closer to you, looked into your eyes, and pursed his lips, eyes widening as if to say, “This is weird”. He rocked back on his heels for a moment, hands awkwardly in his pockets. You remained still, one eyebrow raised in shock, arms still folded in front of you. “Come on pretty boy, we haven’t got all night” Morgan teased, Garcia gripping onto him, her eyes as wide as possible so she didn’t miss anything.

In an instant, he lunged forward, a hand landing on your cheek and one at the small of your back. Spencer planted his lips onto yours, you could almost feel him smiling into it. Your arms softened and untangled as they found their way onto his chest in front of you. As you parted, the embarrassing hail of whoops and clapping arose. Spencer stepped back giggling, hiding his face from his colleagues. You pursed your lips together and held your fingers to your lips briefly, surprised at how good that felt. “I’m gonna go grab that wine now” You blushed, laughing along with the hyenas in the sitting room. Pausing slowly at the fridge, your head hitting the metal, you exhaled from deep in your lungs. Never in your life did you think you would be in such a position. But you were happy and almost grateful for your embarrassing workmates.

You returned with the wine, rose coloring still in your cheeks. Spencer was now playing with the kids under one of the many Christmas trees and you retook your position on the rug with JJ and Will, pouring them both a glass of white wine. No one teased anymore, no one laughed. There were just separate pods of conversation. Eventually, after picking up sleepy children off the couches in the lounge room, JJ and Will were thanking Rossi for such a lovely evening. Hotch not far behind with Jack. Those that were left were Morgan and Penelope, desperately arguing over whether or not ‘Die Hard’ was a Christmas film. Rossi and Emily, who were debating finer Scotches and Whiskeys. You watched on, amused by their friendships, and longing to be one of them. Until you noticed that Spencer had gone. You got up from the rug and wondered through the house, finding him on the balcony off the dining room.

You unlatched the door, alerting him to your presence. “Hey” He smiled softly at you. “Hey” You sounded unsure, “I’m sorry if that was super weird for you in there”. He chuckled under his breath slightly as you approached and stood next to him in the cold night air. “You know, I thought it would be... But it was... nice” He nodded, tucking his smile into his scarf. You tried to look away, hiding the permanent smile plastered on your face. “It was nice” You said gently. Spencer turned towards you, and unintentionally looked you up and down, “You must be so cold” He said, shedding his coat and draping it across your shoulders. You looked at the soft brown tweed and curled your nose, “But now, you’ll be cold”. “Doesn’t matter” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Spencer I-” He interrupted quickly, “Can I have a do over?”. “Sorry, what?” You shook off whatever you were going to say and clarified you heard him correctly. “I just- I would have kissed you differently, had they not set me up and cheered like an audience” He closed his eyes, “ I would have kissed you differently”.

Without saying anything, you slid your icy cold hand into his. Warmth radiated from his large hands as his fingers slid between yours. You pulled his hand and turned him to face you. “You can kiss me again” You mumbled. His eyes were so dark and deep, he held eye contact with you, bringing his face slightly down to meet you in the middle. His soft lips, tripping over yours hungrily. His breath warm on your face. His tender hands, not so gingerly on respectful places on your body like before. One hand slid up to your neck, lightly holding on, but eventually wrapping around to grasp the back of your neck. His other hand placed further south of the small of your back, pulling your whole body into him as his tongue delved into your mouth. You tried to move your hands, you tried to do anything, but your brain was completely overwhelmed and stunned by the warmth and pleasure washing over you.

He pulled away, kissing your cold nose, along your jawline. Pressing on last kiss to your lips, and then to your forehead as he wrapped his arms around you. Your body sunk into him. Even without his jacket, he was still so warm, and it was so inviting. You wrapped your arms around his back and held onto him as tightly as he held onto you. “This is a better Christmas story than the one I told before” You muttered at a giggle into his woolen jumper. Spencer smiled into the nape of your neck. “God, I hope so” He laughed, and you felt his whole body move against yours. After a while, you parted and just stood snuggled together on the balcony. “They really set us up, big time” You pondered. “I can’t believe Emily blabbed” Spencer shook his head. You looked sharply up at him. “Blabbed?” You asked confusedly. “Yeah... I kind of told her I had a crush on you” He tried to hide his face but you wouldn’t let him, you grabbed his hand and held it in your own. “Oh my god” That same old shocked expression was strewn back across your face. “I know, it’s super embarrassing and I’m sorry I didn’t -“ You interrupted him this time, “No, Spencer, I told Emily I had a crush on you” You said quickly, without thinking.

Both of you, stunned, really thought about how devious Emily was. Why did we do that? You asked yourself; the answer quite simply was, she was a very open person and people often told her their secrets. “I guess, I’m glad I told her” Spencer smiled, “Because otherwise I never would have got to kiss you”. You leaned up to his lips and kissed him again. “Now, you can kiss me anytime you want” You whispered to him, that gorgeous smile still fighting its way onto his face.

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Inside, Emily and Rossi stood in the doorway of the dining room, peering out onto the Balcony like a pair of sneaky teenagers. They had been watching for several minutes, and though they couldn’t hear the conversation, they knew they were busted for setting the whole thing up. “Thanks again, Dave” Em raised his glass of scotch to Dave’s brandy, both of them grinning like school girls. “Absolutely anytime, my dear” They clinked glasses and walked steadily back into the sitting room, arms around each other.