#“it’s just fiction” ok and age is “just a number”

[homosherb]

me whenever i see people shipping Gwen with Miguel: 😨😨😨

[bowithoutadaemon]

Ugh I hate when my brain decides I NEED to play a certain game that I don't currently own.

I have a backlog of several games. Of various genres.

And I am fairly sure I tried the game back when my hacked switch worked and actually didn't really enjoy it that much.

But now my brain isn't shutting up about it.

[seraphinitegames]

Hey, Mishka!!!

I've been replaying TWC over the last couple of months, and must say, it's been an entirely rejuvenating experience for me. Like, I was reading it the first time, although I've replayed the series quite too many (worrying number) of times already. And it still manages to amaze me, EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I've repeated this in the past, and I'll repeat it again. The Wayhaven Chronicles is a blessing for me and I'm sincerely thankful to have come across it when I did. And I'm grateful to you for making this lovely world a reality (and of course, the four beautiful vamps)! Really eager for Book 4 and have already player the demo; can say it's gonna be worth the wait. It every time is.

Replaying the series in the last few months, I had a certain uncontrollable urge to drop and ask a few questions to you. Apologize in advance for the long ask and message, but it had been bottling up inside of me for SOOOOOO LONG.

1. In Book 1, when we're to lead the investigation in one of the three directions, is there any way to get success in any direction without Bobby making a big joke out of our investigation in the newspaper?

2. In Book 2, when Nicole and Max Salinas come to report their incident, can Tina actually find out anything unusual? If so, what is actually needed to explain that?

3. In Book 3, I noticed if we choose to go the final mission alone, depending on the route chosen, Boddy/Doug will end up tagging along as well, jeopardizing everything. Is there still a way to complete the mission successfully and rescuing everyone like it happens when we go along with Rebecca?

4. Less of a question, but more of a plea. Please tell me we can get a pet anytime in the series. I was just curious if we can get one.

5. How powerful is the big baddie in Book 4 compared to Unit Bravo? You don't need to answer if this verges on spoiler-y territory.

Really sorry to overwhelm you with this, but it's just months and months of joy, happiness, and sheer ecstasy making me blabber on about this world like this. Thanks once again, for making this truly beautiful story, world, and the vampires a reality.

Have a good day!!!! Lots of love from India!!

You can never play a game you love too many times (I keep telling myself that as I gradually burn a hole into my poor old console playing Dragon Age over and over, lol!)! If it brings you happiness, then that's what is important! :D

Ok, let's see about the questions...it's been a whole since I've gone through the older games without being in editing mode, hehe!

I don't think so...Bobby is, well, Bobby. And that scene was there very much to establish their character and show the player what type of person they are.

I don't think so, again. If there's anything unusual or odd, then I usually like to let the MC find that instead of it happening 'off-screen' so it's more impactful for the player—unless it's Verda discovering stuff, because that needs to happen for…reasons.

Iirc, in the Bobby/Doug routes, you get the auction scene, so a lot of that branch involves focusing on saving yourself! But the other team that joins Unit Bravo will help in saving a lot of the captives in that version.

I would love that being a massive animal companion fan myself, hehe! But likely not, just because the MC is away a lot from home, and that's unfair on the pet, even a fictional one, lol. I was tempted to give the MC a supernatural pet that hung around at the facility—that was definitely a strong idea at one point just so I could write a pet in the series for those that wanted it (me, I was the one who wanted it, hehe!) :D

**BOOK FOUR DEMO SPOILERS AHEAD** It's not just that Book Four's villain is terrifyingly powerful (or will be. They are, thankfully for the MC and UB, in a weakened state for a while due to what's happened to them and what happened in Chapter Two) but it's a lot to do with the fact that their power specifically counteracts and weakens Unit Bravo's. So that's a double whammy!

Thank you SO incredibly much for the amazing message! It means more than you can know <3

[moonstonerain]

I somewhat recovered from the devastating news of YoI Ice Ado cancellation, so to celebrate Yuri on Ice brings me joy day (which should be everyday) I'm writing down my headcanons.

The pets in the YoI universe have the general lifespan of their humans. Pets tend to die days before or after their owners died. Unless they have an accident, or a sickness (poor Vicchan). So essentially Makkachin is in fact immortal.

The YoI universe is kinder: there is no homophobia. I understand that sometimes exploring topics like these in fiction is important, but personally I think there is enough of that in the real world. So I want to believe in at least one universe where people are kinder. Viktor and Yuuri can get married anywhere in the world and it would be recognized. Nobody is bothered by the two being men.

Yuuri Katsuki is not a Viktor Nikiforov fan. He is THE Viktor Nikiforov fan. I'm talking fan accounts where he's protecting Viktor. The posters in his room are just the tip of the iceberg. He has hand fans, body pillows, limited edition bottle of water where Viktor did some promotion. One time he ordered a limited edition, signed poster from a "fan". (The person was thinking of ripping him of. And then he got an email. The only text read: his name, his address, his age, his social security number. Man was so scared he payed triple for ice show tickets, just to get the signed poster. Incidentally he also got invested in ice skating and found Yuuri Katsuki, Japan's ace. He's been a fan ever since.) After Viktor cut his long hair, Yuuri mourned for a few days and then layed waste on everyone on the internet who dared to complain about Viktor's decision.

All of Yuuri's fans, as well as all of Japan knows that Yuuri Katsuki is THE Viktor Nikiforov fan. Journalists that are usually ignored by Yuuri know that they only need to mention Viktor before Yuuri goes on a 30 minute tangent about his newest programs, his music, his outfits, that obscure program he did only once six years ago. If the journalist is brave, and willing to risk life and limb, they'll even add some sort of critiscism "Viktor's landing was a bit wobbly" Yuuri Avoider of Anything that Risks Conflict Katsuki: "First of all how dare you." 40 minutes later "I'm done! I'm done! ... And another thing!"

Yeah Yuri Plisetsky admires Viktor Nikiforov. He's ugh Viktor. But Yuri is a fan of one skater and one skater only and that is Yuuri Katsuki. I'm talking posters, hand fans, body pillows, limited edition sports drink Yuuri did some promotion for. He came to Hasetsu with one luggage, left with three filled to the brim with Katsuki merch. And a giant poster from the train station. When Viktor discovers Yuri's collection he is incredibly jealous.

Phicit, Yuuri, Leo, Guang-Hong Ji, Otabek, Emil, Michele, J.J., and Seung Gil have a group chat for gossip. While the group chat is used pretty frequently Seung Gil will only wildly appear once every blue moon, leave a devastating one liner and dissapear once again. Once Viktor goes to coach Yuuri the group has front rows to live updates: "omg Viktor just showed up buck naked at my parents' onsen" "ok so he asked if I want him to be my boyfriend. do you think this is code for something?" "He sure likes to be very touchy with me. very touchy. hmm silly europeans" "he just wants us to be close friends" the despair the others are feeling. after the live kiss, seung gil: "just friends huh. never lie to my face again bitch"

minami and yuri have beef. minami has a limited edition photo card that he brought with him to the juniors. yuri has another limited edition card that he also brought to juniros. they saw each others limited edition cards, argued which was superior, both incredibly jealous of the other. loathed each other since then.

yuuri was the first to give Viktor his blue roses crown. One time when Viktor was assigned to NHK Trophy Yuuri busted his entire allowance and some odd jobs to buy him the crown, to an exhorbitant price because roses are expensive, blue roses even more so, and a flower crown?! Yuuri was standing near the rink when Viktor saw him holding the crown. Viktor's heart melted, and he let Yuuri put the crown on him. ever since then Viktor was associated with blue roses. Years later a skating fan uncovered an old photo of yuuri putting the crown on viktor and posted it online. the skating world collectively lost their minds. at their wedding they each put a flower crown on top of each others heads.

[dandelionlinolinaline]

ok rant time, stick with me.

the reason i don’t like damian wayne is not that i don't enjoy him as a character, it is that he feels like the final nail in the coffin that is 'robin'. now what do i mean by this? dick grayson as robin is obviously fantastical. he is an interesting foil to bruce/batman, he i tragic and complex, but his backstory is very much not real. he feels like a fictional character, so it isn’t a stretch to suspend disbelief and 'buy' him being robin, so to say. the family dynamic he has with bruce is NOT like father and son (argue with the wall on this one), it's paternal, but regardless of age difference in different interpretations, it is very much an unconventional family dynamic.

now, i've never really had a major issue with jason todd as robin (maybe because he has been red hood for basically my entire lifetime), but he was the first step in a direction of a more traditional family; son, father, grandson (and older brother), which i strongly dislike. now say what you will about jason todd, but he was arguably the most 'real' of the robins (in terms of backstory). he has a much more plausible family background (not counting sheila working with the joker) and feels less like the fantasy of dick grayson and more like wish fulfilment of a poor kid (ultimately this is what i think led to his downfall at dc - they couldn’t sell the 'fantasy' of jason todd in the way they could the other robins).

tim drake is where i kinda take issue. he is the 'normal' robin, but is very clearly an 'upgrade' from jason todd. he fits into the socialite life, bruce is significantly older than him (enough to be his actual father), and dick also takes a much more active role as a 'big brother' than he did with jason. tim drake, as neither dick or jason did, seems like the successor to bruce wayne, as well as batman. he is a genius, brilliant detective, rich and well-versed in the upper echelons of society. he is a HUGE leap in the direction of this sort of 'born for the role' idea i really despise for robin.

(i will take the liberty of following dc's example and overlook stephanie brown's robin)

lastly damian. not only is he batman's biological son, he is a prodigy who has trained since birth to be the next batman and is the heir to the league of assassins (i also hate what his creation meant for talia as a character, but i'll let that rest). he is now amalgamation of this slow trajectory towards robin as an heir who is divinely 'destined' to become batman (evidenced by the fact that damian is the only robin to consistently have the surname wayne).

don’t get me wrong, i greatly enjoy damian wayne and think he has an interesting dynamic with a number of characters and has some really lovely character devlopmemt and arcs, but i hate hate hate how robin went from 'orphans make do' to 'the heir apparent to not only batman but bruce wayne' and i. idk, i just wish dc had kept more of the charm and choice that the relationship between bruce and dick.

[flymmsy]

I might be wrong but did Gortash only torture women? Just thinking that I don't remember there being any man brain in a jar. Must be because of his mom but his father is not innocent either. Very typical to only blame the woman.. Why do I still love him? Like it does not even matter in the end, cause I am so smitten with him.

Actually when thinking about it, the whole dead 3 (kethric not so much, I think?) is a bit misogynistic, very clear with how they treat Orin. Sarevok calling her murders "girly" and that durge did proper murder unlike her, like ok...

We definitely have some evidence in game of Gortash threatening men, and you could argue that The Emperor was tortured by him, but yes - the number of women he tortures is much larger. And, as you said, all of the brains are women - which is definitely pointed.

I agree it’s connected to his mother and I find his relationships with his parents endlessly fascinating - the fact that he seems to torture his father less is 🤯

However I will pause here because it is important to say that it does matter. Violence against women is a very huge problem in our world. We all love Gortash here but it’s important to also understand everything he represents. His existence as a fictional character is the reason we can focus on other things, but we should never wave it away or say it doesn’t matter.

I’m also saying this because BG3 has a wide age range of fans. It’ll come as no surprise to anyone reading this that when I was younger, with the affinity for characters I love, I really could have benefited from someone who made it explicitly clear that you need to accept the terrible parts of an evil character, even if you don’t focus on them. The effect of *you* as a real person ignoring these traits *can* harm you beyond whatever form of media you’re engaging with - in the real world.

TLDR: Yes Gortash is disproportionately violent against women as opposed to men and let’s be sure to acknowledge that. And, if you ever see a man exhibit any degree or inkling of violence against women in real life, run in the other direction so fast.

P.S. - My first playthrough I was actually excited to see Sarevok and thought how cool and then the second he called Orin’s actions girly was the exact second I knew he needed to die.

[captainimfangirling]

Ok I said I didn't ship Beeltejuice and Lydia but now I kinda do after watching Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Yes she wasn't interested in him romantically but I don't give a f*ck. I don't need a mortal compass to ship fictional characters and I've always shipped villains x heroes. I guess never shipped them in the first movie because I was a kid when I first saw it plus they're both adults in the second movie so what the f*ck. I don't see this any different from shipping a vampire and a human.

Warning: Major spoilers (my long ass review)

My disappointment with this movie is that there were too many plots going on, too many potholes they glossed over, and it felt very rushed. In the first movie I feel like it all came together but this one didn't. I'm also disappointed Beeltejuice and Lydia didn't work together when saving Astrid but I guess they wanted her to have a father/mother/daughter moment.

Astrid & Jeremony

I was fully expecting to hate Astrid but I liked her. She's very stuck up in the beginning but changes later on. She loves her mother but thought she was scam artist but she had good reasons. Hated it when she pointed out that Beetlejuice's contract was void and I was like girl shut the fuck up but at the same time I don't blame her for trying to save her mama from Beeltejuice. Her crush on Jeremy was good and I liked that story line (AHS Murder House vibe) but again it was too rushed. I loved the fact that Beetlejuice stopped him before he can get his card stamped.

Delia & Charles

I enjoyed Delia a lot. She was so much fun and totally would've acted that way if Charles died. I'm glad they didn't just forget about the character Charles because the actor is a disgusting pedo. The character should be separated from the actor. It was pretty clever how they went about it to honor the character and not the asshole. Tim Burton has a lot of balls for that.

Delores & Rory

I loved Delores' introduction but that's it. All she did was look for Beetlejuice and suck souls. Also her story line was way too quick. I was fully expecting to ship her and Beetlejuice but nope. Rory was a good villain but his story line also felt very rushed. It's interesting how Beeltejuice's former wife and Lydia's former fiance died together at their wedding....it's totally not baiting Lydia and Beeltejuice shippers (sarcasm).

Lydia

I loved Lydia too and I can totally see her being easily manipulated but why Rory? At least in the first movie she had a great reason to accept Beetlejuice's offer. Also I feel like Lydia wasn't weird enough and I get it people grow up but still she didn't feel like the same Lydia. I like that she was a supernatural TV host/ghost hunter but I feel like Winona is right that Lydia would been a spinster in the attic. It's funny to me how Lydia mentioned their 600 year age gap but I bet the weird Lydia from the first movie totally would've married a vampire or a zombie.

Beeltejuice

I loved Beeltejuice but he wasn't the star of the show like he was in the last movie. I honestly think he wants to marry Lydia instead of finding someone else to marry because he fell for her over the years but she also got away from their agreement (but then again he didn't seem mad about it). I was hoping Lydia would realize Beetlejuice actually likes her and be grossed out by it. Also there's the fact that he wasn't as pervy like he was in the first movie. I mean he looked at Delia up and down but it's not very bad compared to what he did in the first movie. The Maitlands influenced Beeltejuice because he did a musical number instead of quickly marrying Lydia like he tried to do in the first movie. If he wasn't f*cking around he would've gotten his bride. Maybe he was a bit too confident because this time he had a contract which he was very smart for doing. Did anyone notice he kissed Lydia's hand? I didn't expect that from Beetlejuice. I thought was gonna forcefully kiss her like he did to Barbra but no he was dare I say a gentlemen. Not only did he save Astrid but he exposed Rory to Lydia and he didn't even have to do that because he already had his marriage contract. I'm surprised they didn't try to de-age Michael Keaton in the flashback and it would totally make sense because Beeltejuice did look younger in the first movie but I guess they didn't wanna use too much CGI.

Bob

I loved Bob. He was very funny so I was very sad when Delores killed him. Not sure if he was the same shrunken head from the first movie but I personally don't think he is. He looks too different. Would be funny if all the shrunken heads were the football players.

Potholes & The Maitlands

I hate that they didn't talk about how people who committed suicide become civil servants like it was said in the first movie. They basically erased it because Astrid's dad is working in the Netherworld when he died in the Amazon and Beetlejuice was murdered. The only clue was in the newspaper that I pointed out days ago how workers were wrongfully assigned a suicide and the case workers are on strike. I think that would've been a more interesting story line for Beetlejuice. It would explain why he wants out so badly but I guess Burton didn't want us to feel sympathy for him or make him too deep. What was the damn loophole the Maitlands had? I hate that they didn't even try to explain. I think it would've been sweet if it was Lydia who helped them find a loophole so they can move on after she moved out of the house. Like a parting gift to her parents.

Wolf Jackson

The Wolf Jackson character wasn't all that interesting. To make him more interesting I think it would've been cool if Astrid was a fan of his movies. I think he started working in the afterlife because of the strike so they took whoever they can get even if it's an actor.

The Baby

Also that Baby Beeltejuice was so weird! I loved it! When Lyis Belly started growing I was like holy sh*t is he trying to hint that he wants her to have his babies?! lmao I don't remember the movie being this bloody! The ending was confusing at first but clever because it's basically saying he hasn't given up on Lydia and will continue to haunt her until she's his bride. Also why can't Lydia have her show and still be part of her daughter's life? I hate that she gave it up. I think it would've been nicer if Astrid started working with her. Like a mother daughter ghost show since Astrid can see ghosts too.

Well that's my review. I hope I didn't complain too much because I actually did enjoy the movie. I want to be positive but I always end up writing something to complain about.

[multifandomlover01]

I Hesitate to Put “Wife Guy” Here

Spencer Reid x Wife!Reader (implied BAU!Reader as well)

WC: ~3.7k

Summary: Spencer’s wife finds it funny, the number of girls that are auditing his class. She initially had no plans to do anything about it…those plans change when Spencer calls her out for chuckling about it.

Disclaimer: I am just in season 6 and these events take place in season 13 but this is fanfic so canon doesn’t matter only my horniness does lol (extremely canon divergent/AU even because in the background I accidentally implied that he took more time off and that it was of his own accord)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI (no actual explicit smut but it’s still suggestive) use of derogatory terms such as whore, but it’s meant in a playful manner. The dynamic is really relaxed and laid back, the dom is soft and the sub is slightly sassy. Use of ma’am. But there is some teasing and hints of meanness in the dynamic. Mention of “claiming” but it’s also meant in a teasing manner. College aged girls being attracted to their professor that they then find out is also married. Mention of this not deterring at least one of the students. One of the students actually not being deterred and being caught by wife in office (not cheating but the female student is clearly trying to seduce Reid when his wife walks into his office)

Ep: 13x16 (loosely)

Gif credit: imagining-in-the-margins

Background: Spencer and reader have been involved for years, from immediately hitting it off to being friends to confessing their feelings to dating to becoming engaged and then finally marrying and they really missed each other while Spencer was in prison for a few months after he was framed for murder. He decides he needs time away from the FBI and decides to apply to become a part time professor at a university (Georgetown I think lol or some fictional one actually? I dunno tbh). It is agreed that you should go on hiatus from your FBI assignment to the BAU to become a counselor at the college to like be there not really to “keep an eye on him” like babysitting him or to make sure he doesn’t crack up but just…to make sure he’s ok. For whatever reason you are sitting in on his class, just like in the back when it becomes apparent that a certain segment of his class population has a very special interest in your husband.

You chuckled at the number of hands that went up when he’d asked how many of the students were auditing the class.

Spencer turned to you at the sound and smirked.

“Care to share with the class?” He asked, trying not to be too teasing in front of his students.

“Oh. N-no…sorry…please, continue.” You said while smiling.

This made him smile even more.

“No, if you have something to say, say it.”

You stood up and walked toward him.

“If I may address your class, Professor.” You said, also trying to not be too teasing in front of his students.

He nodded, indicating that you could.

“All of you that just had your hands up, put them back up.”

They did.

“Now, if you’re auditing this class and you’re not of the female sex, put your hand down.”

No one did (maybe there actually was a guy or two that was that may or may not have been ogling him). You  chuckled and glanced at Spencer, noticing a faint blush as he realized all of the auditors were female.

“If you find my husband attractive, keep your hand up.” You said as you smirked and gestured to him.

Looks of horror came across a lot of the girls’ faces as they realized they’d been called out and that they’d been ogling their professor in front of his wife the entire time, they slowly put their hands down. But you noticed one or two of them keep their hands up for a few seconds before reluctantly putting them down. (Should I have at least one challenge this verbally?)

“That’s what I thought.” You smirked as you turned to Spencer, noting the now deepened rouge on his cheeks. “It’s all yours, Professor.”

You go back to my seat behind him.

After the class when all of the students had left the classroom, Spencer came over to you. He stood right in front of you. You were on your phone and looked up at him.

“Yes?” You asked, trying not to smile.

“What did you think you were doing earlier?” He asked, you could tell he was trying to be more authoritative like he was with his students but you could hear the hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“I’m sorry if it upset you.”

“N-no no, if anything, I’m glad you were here. If you hadn’t been…well…”

“You might actually have had to have fended off a hoard of horny college girls all by yourself?” You say, chuckling.

He visibly cringed as you said that.

“Please…don’t…” he whispered.

“You might still have to. I certainly saw a glint in the eyes of one or two of them before they reluctantly put their hands down too, not wanting to seem suspicious for not caring if you were married or not…including the girl who first told you that she was just auditing the class while she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.” You chuckled.

“Oh god.” Spencer groaned softly. He knew you were right. He now remembered he’d noticed one or two girls hesitate to put their hands down, still eyeing him with interest, including the first girl, as you had mentioned. “I-I can’t…deal with them. I mean…what am I even supposed to do?” He was obviously distressed.

“Turn them down?” You suggested it like it was obvious…because it was.

He rolled his eyes playfully.

“Well obviously. But they’re young, I…I don’t wanna hurt them.”

“Who cares? You’re their professor. It’s unethical for you to get involved with them. Say that. Be blunt. Be stern.”

“Have you met me?” He chuckled.

“No.” You say sarcastically as you draw the word out and roll your eyes playfully.

You can see, though, that he’s actually really nervous. You sigh.

“Look, Spence…you’re really attractive, that’s just a fact. People are attracted to you. This is also a fact. But I can’t be with you every second of every day. You have to learn how to handle these kinds of things by yourself.” (He…hadn’t by now? He…hadn’t dealt with it before? But are we pretending he’s not attractive? Even if he’s awkward?)

He groaned.

“But I don’t wanna. I’d much rather just keep you by my side…so you can keep them away from me…” He was almost pouting.

“Like I pointed out earlier…I don’t think a couple of them are going to be deterred…so you’re gonna have to handle them yourself because I can’t always be here.”

He groaned again.

“Please don’t remind me of that.”

He pulled you out of your chair and into his arms. He stroked your hair as he held your waist.

“I love you. I only want you. I don’t need anybody else. I just wish everyone else would leave me alone.” He places a kiss to your hair.

“Hey, it’s not your fault or mine that you’re hot.”

He scoffed but then smirked.

“Speaking of hot…it was kinda hot what you did earlier, you know…taking control like that…”

You scoffed lightly.

“I chuckled at the fact that all of the auditors were girls, you called me out on it, I tried to back out of it, trying to be respectful, but you got intrigued and playful and I got an idea.” You shrugged.

“And what a wonderful idea it was.” He kissed the top of your head again.

“You don’t think they’ll tell anyone and that you’ll get in trouble for that, do you?” You asked, actually concerned he might.

Spencer shrugged.

“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t really care either way. I like to think of it as you gently reminding them not to make a mistake by coming on to a professor.”

You now shrugged. “I guess you’re right.” You smiled at him.

“At any rate…I really liked you claiming me as yours in front of everyone.” He leaned down and whispered in your ear.

“Oh? Is that what I did? You know…I did notice you blushing.”

“How could I not? You told all those girls that I was someone else’s man. Your man, specifically.”

“That’s right. I did. And you are.”

“I uh…kinda got a little…” He gently takes your hand and places it over his crotch “um…aroused by your display…” He seems a bit embarrassed by it.

“Oh my god, you’re so hard.” You whisper as you look up at him in disbelief to see his face redden even more. You smirked. “Me telling those girls you’re mine got you this hard?”

“Y-yes, ma’am, it did.”

“My my my, what a whore you are. You’ve got another class to teach in like half an hour.” You chuckled, hoping it was clear that you were just teasing him lightly and didn’t mean him any harm.

Spencer’s face reddens even more as you call him a whore and as he realizes that you’re right and it’s inappropriate for him to be like this right now but he can’t bring himself to care.

“Y/N, please, you can’t just leave me like this.”

“Well it’s not as if I meant to give you an erection.” You chuckled.

“Oh, please, you think you can put those girls in their place like you did and I’m not gonna get aroused?” He scoffs, dropping his submissive demeanor for a second.

“Not my fault you’re a whore for me.” You lean in to whisper in his ear.

“Kinda your fault.” He muttered.

“Excuse me?” You ask, raising your eyebrows at him and feigning anger (I dunno how else to word this lol)

“I-I’m sorry, ma’am. But it’s really not my fault that you’re worth being a whore for so much.” He said while once again dropping the submissive demeanor briefly.

“You could think about something boring like statistics and not get an erection in front of your students…” You shrugged, but knowing that’s (surprisingly or maybe not so surprisingly) the last thing he’d want to do.

“How could I think about statistics when my wife basically owned a bunch of desperate 20 year olds and was super nonchalant but also super hot about it?”

“You need to learn to control yourself.” You smirked. You were completely not serious. The girls could stare all they wanted at his erection for all you cared. You were the one who caused it and you were the one who would be taking care of it for the poor pathetic (affectionate) man. (Or not…right now at least…oops)

“I can’t control myself when I’m around you. I’ve never been able to control myself around you, you know that. The first time we met I could barely get my fucking name out.” (Take out curse word or keep it in? Dude’s 37, he’s allowed to curse lol)

You chuckled.

“I remember. Your face was redder than it is now. Derek had to tell me your name for you.”

Spencer scowls slightly.

“Yeah…he tried to flirt with you too.”

“And failed.” You scoffed.

“Obviously.” Spencer chuckled. “But God am I happy you gave me a chance.”

“Are you kidding? From the second I laid eyes on you, I was gone. You had me completely.”

“Y-you were? I did?” Spencer asked, almost not believing that his incredibly amazing wife could have fallen for him that fast.

“Hell yeah. Derek’s cocky demeanor and use of “pretty girl” was old and tired. I shut that down real quick. But you? You were a blushing mess. You tripped over your own shoe and told me my blouse looked pretty, but you were stuttering so bad you barely got it out. And you were so quiet my brain processing speed was not having a great day because it was my first day and I was super anxious so I had to ask you to repeat yourself and your face reddened and I felt so bad. But you did repeat yourself, loudly and clearly…maybe a little too loud.” You chuckled lightly.

Spencer scoffed lightly.

“God I-I was that bad, wasn’t I?” Spencer’s face reddened but this time from embarrassment and not just arousal. “Tell me again what you ever saw in me?”

“I saw an incredibly kind, sweet, caring and handsome young man. And I was right. That’s exactly what you were. And I was lucky to find you.”

“You were lucky? N-no, hon, I’m the lucky one here.” He said as he cupped your face.

“Well we can both be lucky, then.”

“Well I’m luckier.”

“It’s not a competition, dear.”

“R-right…sorry…I just…God, I just love you so damn much.” He began to stroke your cheek.

“I love you too…but I’ve gotta go, I’ve got a counseling session with a student and you’ve got another class to teach.” You smile as you twist in his arms to pick up your bag, putting your phone in it. “Come on…we’ve both got things to do.” You say as you try to get out of his grasp.

“But the only thing I wanna do is you, hon.” He pouted.

“Spencer,” You warned teasingly, “come on, be a good boy and teach your class. I’ll see you later, ok?”

You finally got out of his grasp and picked his cardigan up off the back of the chair and put it on him, hoping it will be long enough to help with his problem. It just barely is.

“Y/N, you can’t just…leave me like this.” He gestures down to his crotch which still sports a semi-prominent bulge.

“Maybe they won’t notice. Just…stand behind your podium or something.” You chuckle as you give him a quick peck on the lips before starting to exit the room.

“What if more girls are auditing this next class and they…ogle me?”

“Deal with it.” You shrug as you continue to walk out of the room. “Tell them you’re their professor, that it’s inappropriate, and that you’re married. You can do it, I believe in you.”

“I’m glad one of us does.” He grumbles. “I’ll miss you.”

“Don’t miss me too much, it’s not gonna help you.”

“I’m not thinking about statistics…” He reiterates.

“It’s your favorite!” 

“You’re my favorite!”

“Not in the professional work environment, I’m not. How the hell did you handle yourself at the BAU?” You chuckle.

“There were less horny college girls then…” He shrugs.

“Ah, well…just…try not to think about me, ok?”

“Impossible.” He chuckles as he shakes his head.

“Good luck then and try not to get fired.” You chuckle again as you finally exit the classroom.

————————————————————————

Spencer’s POV

I groaned as I watched her leave the room. I knew we both had things to do but I just didn’t want her to leave. Can anyone really blame me for just wanting to be with my wife and not have to deal with these…insatiable college girls? I was glad she wasn’t insecure about them. Why should she be? She’s my one and only. She has no need to be insecure or jealous about 20 year olds. Although her making sure that at least one of my classes knew that I was hers was…not something I would’ve expected from her although I’m not at all surprised I got a boner because of it.

I really did find it…quite arousing how she put those girls in their place by telling them I was married. I really did hope it deterred most of them, but I involuntarily shuddered as I remember that one of the girls, the one who had first told me she was only auditing the class and therefore believed she didn’t have to take notes or care, winked at me before slowly putting her hand down a few seconds after everyone else. Her shirt was too low cut and her skirt was too short for the late August weather, which was already starting to dip down a bit (not exactly what she was wearing but who cares? And let’s forget in canon it was March maybe? No? I dunno. I’ve pretty much decided this is canon divergent at this point). I was worried that this student might try something when my wife wasn’t around. But I had to remind myself that I was indeed a 37 year old man who could handle girls 15-17 years younger than him. I just hoped that maybe they…wouldn’t try so hard?

I refocused my attention to preparing for the class that I had in fifteen minutes in the same lecture hall, a few students filtering in early. I hoped nobody would come up to me before class started…or after it ended…today or any day…at least with the express purpose of…what I guessed was to seduce me?

Unfortunately luck was no longer in my favor today as five minutes before class started, a girl in a dress that was too low cut and too short. She felt the need to put her elbows on my podium and lean forward so I could see down the front of her dress. I looked her in the eyes.

“Can I help you?” I hoped my voice was friendly and that it hadn’t wavered.

“I most certainly hope you can.” She said in a tone that I knew was meant to be seductive and then she winked at me. I felt like I wanted to vomit (lol really? That’s a bit…extreme of a reaction). Could she really not find some poor sap her own age to bother? Why was she bothering me?

“What can I help you with?” I asked, trying to remain professional.

“I think the better question is how I can help you.” She bit her bottom lip.

“Do you have a question?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.

“I think I have several questions…” she twirled her hair between her fingers.

“Do any of them have to do with the course material?”

“No.” She says as if it’s not a big deal that she’s wasting my time then if that’s the case.

“Well I have to prepare for class real quick so could this wait until after?” Or quite possibly until the end of time?

“You’re gonna make me wait?” She pouts. “Really?” She leans forward more, pushing her breasts up.

“Yes.” I deadpan as I look her dead in the eyes. “Please take your seat.”

She continued to pout, her eyes scanned my face intensely and I immediately felt very uncomfortable.

“P-please return to your seat. I need to start the lecture.” I tried to force my cheeks to not turn red from anxiety because I was terrified that the young woman would think that her flirtations were working, therefore prompting her to continue them.

She huffs and returns to her seat but her hips saunter as she does so. My eyes immediately snap down to my lecture notes.

“So, uh t-today we will be talking about…”

As I started my lecture, I noticed the student that had walked up to me before class along with, again, several other female students looking at me quite intently. I tried my hardest to concentrate on what I was saying and not the lips being bitten or the hair being twirled. 

I knew that I stammered and stuttered more than I usually did. I don’t think I’ve stuttered this much in years. I hope it’s not misconstrued as their flirtations getting to me. I hope none of them approach me after class. I simply could not take it. I just wanted to gather up my stuff and go visit my wife in her office up on the counseling floor.

But, alas, luck was again not on my side. Another girl, in an outfit that seemed just as inappropriate for the weather as the one from before class, came up to me.

“Professor…” She propped her elbows up on my podium and held her chin in her palms.

“Yes? Can I help you?” I asked, slightly annoyed.

“I had a question about something…”

————————————————————————

Reader POV

It was just after Spencer’s office hours and you were done with students for the day so you decided to go down to pay him a visit. You weren’t expecting any students to be in his office since it was about ten minutes after his office hours ended so you just walked right into his office.

You froze when you saw a female student with one hand on his desk and the other on the back of his chair, leaning over.

You coughed awkwardly and Spencer’s eyes snapped from the student’s eyes to yours. His face was red and he was sweating slightly. The female student looked at you and scoffed lightly, apparently annoyed at being interrupted.

“Excuse me…” You said as you turned around to walk out of the room.

“Wait!” You hear your husband exclaim frantically.

You stop and turn around. The female student looks very annoyed.

“You seem to be with a student at the moment…I can wait.” You say, trying to remain calm because you knew that he wasn’t going to be seduced by this student and you didn’t want to make a scene like you had made earlier in the day.

“No uh p-please…stay. We’re almost done.”

“Yeah, I was just asking him a question about…” she trails off as she tries to think of what to say.

“Yes?” You ask, expectantly.

“Triggers…that was it…I was asking him about triggers.”

“With your chest in his face?” You scoff lightly.

“Oh well he uh…invited me closer to demonstrate something…”

“The hell he did.” You muttered.

“Look, I don’t know what you think is going on here, but it’s not, ok?” She straightened up and crossed her arms.

“Oh, sweetie, how stupid do you think I am? I have a Master’s degree in Behavioral Analysis, I know exactly what’s going on here.”

“And what would that be?” She asks, hand on her hip.

“You’re trying to seduce your professor. You do know it’s unethical for a professor and a student to engage in sexual relations with each other, yes?”

“So?”

“So…He could lose his position here.”

“But it’s just a little fun.” She pouts as she runs her hand down his arm and he stiffens and his face turns even redder. He looks at anything that isn’t her, mostly you with eyes that beg you to make her stop.

“Miss, please don’t do that.”

“Oh? Why not? I think he likes it.”

“He does not and even if he did, this is completely inappropriate.”

“How the hell do you know that he doesn’t like it? Who the hell are you anyway?!”

“His wife.” You say nonchalantly.

She looks you up and down and scoffs.

“Aren’t you a little bit…not in his league?” It was clear she thought you weren’t attractive enough to be with Spencer.

Your expression darkens and Spencer’s eyes snap to her again finally.

“Excuse me, that’s my wife you’re talking about.” Spencer says, suddenly confident, vocal, and angry.

“Well between you and me, you could do a whole lot better…more specifically, you could do me…” She smirked as she leaned down again.

Spencer lept out of his chair and away from her.

“The hell I will! I want you out of my office this instant, young lady.” He said firmly.

She scoffs and storms out, brushing past you rudely, bumping into your shoulder.

You both observe her as she leaves. When she is out of sight, Spencer exhales deeply and sinks back down into his chair.

You sigh, turn around to close and lock his office door, and go over to him. You stand behind his chair and begin to work out the tension in his neck and shoulder muscles.

He moans, almost pronographically, as you do so (lol why?). You smirk in response, leaning down to kiss his neck lightly.

“It’s ok, baby, I’m here. It’s just you and me. It’s just us.” You whisper in his ear

“Just us. Only us.” He sighs as you kiss his neck and massage his shoulders.

“Relax. You’ve had quite the day. Let me take care of you.”

He sighs. “Thank you.” He mutters.

“Mmm…you’re welcome, baby…now…your office hours are over and I’m done with seeing students for today…so why don’t we go home and…continue this?”

“Or we could just stay right here...”

“In your office?” You chuckled. “I think that’d be heavily frowned upon. We’re already avoiding you getting fired by sleeping with a student, why don’t we keep the streak going and avoid you getting fired by fucking your wife in your office, yeah?”

Spencer pouted. “Fine.”

“Good boy. Let’s go.” You pat his shoulders as you push yourself off of him.

“Yes, ma’am.” Spencer stands up and collects his things. He follows you out of his office, turning the lights off and locking the door behind him. He takes your hand in his.

You walk hand in hand out of the building and towards your car. He opens the passenger seat door for you before going to get in the driver’s seat. He puts his satchel in the backseat.

[icallhimjoey]

Imagine this: Wesley makes a new friend and Joe is jealous of how close they are UNTIL he sees her for the first time. Suddenly, he can’t stop nagging Wesley about her.

ok so, i need everyone to understand that i do not know wesley or his mannerisms at all (obviously i do not know joe either, but we've established what my fictional joey's like) so i TRIED and it was AWKWARD for ALL SORT OF REASONS but i hope that you LIKE IT enjoy! (rewritten 16 nov 2023) Wordcount: 2.8K

Inevitable Sparks

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five The noise of a soft ringtone cut through the conversation and made Wesley stop talking mid-sentence.

"Sorry, I have to take this," Wesley said when he saw your name grace his phone screen.

Sat opposite him, Joe made a face.

"Um, you literally don't?" Joe jokingly frowned in frustrated confusion.

"Hey!" Wesley answered, far too chipper for Joe's liking. He hadn't been in the best mood. Conversation had been fine, but sort of serious. This different version of his best friend that he saved for someone else rubbed him wrong, just a little.

".... yea, I'm not doing anything, what's up?" Wesley turned away from Joe, his full attention with you now.

Joe flung up both arms and shook his head in bewilderment. Couldn't believe what he was hearing.

What did he mean, he wasn't doing anything?!

Going for lunch with his friend, hanging out at home, even taking him on trips around the globe - his best friend seemed to always be talking to his other friend.

This other person who seemed to be replacing Joe on that number one spot fairly quickly - too quickly, because you hadn't known each other long at all, Joe thought.

But anytime Joe would call Wesley, he either didn't answer, declined his call and sent him to voicemail, or he would answer but he'd say he wouldn't be able to talk long. Would ask for Joe to make it quick.

"You up for dinner tonight, mate?" "Sorry, I can't do tonight, I've already got plans," "Oh, is it with her again?"

The fact that he was out having lunch with him now almost felt miraculous.

It was silly. Everyone had friends that their other friends didn't know, didn't they?

But this was Joe's best friend. And he was his too. Wanted it to remain that way. Too many things were changing already, and keeping this the way it was, always had been, felt important. Grounding.

But then Wesley talked on the phone for over ten minutes and didn't even seem that bothered that it was incredibly rude to Joe.

After a lot of humming, yes-ing, and even some loud, loud laughs, Wesley hung up, turned back to Joe and pretended the call had never even happened.

"So, Tokyo, you said? How was that?" Wesley took another bite of his lunch, falling back into their previous conversation, leaving Joe to squint at him.

"Yea, no... Japan was amazing... what the- how do you even know her, again?"

Wesley looked up from his plate at his friend, for a second unsure who Joe was referencing.

Like Joe hadn't just listened to him talk to you for ages.

"Oh," the penny dropped. "Um, we went to school together, did a film- a thriller, together for a class, and then I ran into her randomly, what, two, three months ago?"

"Mmhm, school, huh?"

"She did awful storyboard drawings of a girl being punched once, and then we made her be the girl, and she accidentally got socked right in the eye! We didn't even use the footage," Wesley recounted a funny memory and chuckled lightly.

"Almost didn't recognise her without the bruised face, but she recognised me, so," he shrugged, took another bite.

"Oh, she did, yea?" Joe acted up his hatred in rivalry with you, and it tickled his friend, but he swiftly moved onto another topic and didn't mention you again.

Joe took Wesley with him to events for his job all the time. They seemed the perfect pair: the film maker (you know, the camera guy) and the actor.

Besides the hopeful networking Wesley maybe got to do, Joe was mostly happy to have a friend at these things; someone to ensure that he'd actually have fun and wouldn't just be a big ball of nerves throughout. Would say he was his PA if anyone asked. They never asked, it was always fine.

Sometimes, of course, there were moments when Wesley couldn't tag along, because of his own obligations.

Not a problem, there were plenty of other friends to ask to come to things with him.

It's just that... Wesley sometimes didn't have time for him because of you, and when he caught onto how annoyed Joe would get over it, he started mentioning your name loads. Just to fuck with him.

Like a couple of days later, hanging out at Wesley's place, spread out across the sofa, Joe and Wesley had the TV on in the background, but weren't really watching what was on.

"The absolute units of yachts they had over there," Joe scrolled through his phone gallery, looking for a picture to show his friend. "Just, ridiculous. No one needs a boat like that, really, do they?"

"You know who's got a yacht?" Wesley took a sip of his drink, eyes glued to his phone, before continuing, "Like, a sailing yacht?"

Joe turned his phone to show a picture he took in Newport Beach a couple weeks back.

Wesley peeled his eyes away from his own screen, looked at Joe's, and went, "Yea sort of like that one."

Joe tutted, immediately groaning, knowing Wesley was going to mention you again and it instantly made Wesley grin.

"Not her, she doesn't have a fucking yacht. Fuck, could you imagine? Someone our age with a massive sailing yacht?" Wesley said and let Joe visibly relax before continuing.

"Her dad does, though,"

"Okay," Joe slapped his knees as he got up from the sofa.

"At this point, is she even fucking real? What are you hiding from me?" Joe flung an arm about, slid his phone into his pocket and grabbed some shit from the coffee table he needed to throw out.

"I'm not hiding anything!" Wesley argued, but couldn't help laugh at his friend accusatory tone.

"So why haven't I met her yet?" Joe collected the empty beer bottles from the table too, and made his way to grab two new ones.

"You wouldn't- I just... I don't think you'd get along, you know? You're very different people," Wesley lied, not sounding as confident as he would've liked, and Joe poked right through it.

"What are you on about, mate? I get along with everyone!"

Wesley sat up and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, contemplating if what he was about to say next was the right move to make.

"People love me." Joe definitely didn't believe that in his gut, Wesley knew. But he also understood that... yea, people kind of always did really like Joe.

"Yea, exactly... maybe that's the problem,"

Joe turned around, jaw dropped, but eyes showing nothing but absolute cheek.

"Oh?" suddenly, Joe was intrigued, but Wesley was quick to hold up his hand.

"No!"

"What was her name again?" Joe whipped his phone from his pocket, ready to look you up anywhere he could think to. Not being on any social media himself didn't have to stop him from googling yours for a quick look.

Mentioning you had bit Wesley in the ass, and he sighed in annoyance, knowing from the start this is exactly what it would eventually lead to.

How could it not have?

It was absolutely inevitable.

Joe was single, you were single, and hot but approachable. And also friendly, sweet, kind, fun. All the good shit.

Wesley was drawn to the same type of people. The amount of times he'd been hanging out with you and had thought to himself, wow Joe could've said that, or, Joe would've done the same thing, had really started stacking up.

So when you had a couple of friends over on a random Friday night, for drinks and chats with music playing in the background, you had also invited Wesley to mingle with this new group of people he suddenly was a part of.

Half way through the night, Joe'd facetimed him and Wesley had decided to answer this time.

"Joe," Wesley said upon seeing his friend's face fill out his phone screen.

He saw Joe's face go from utter shock and surprise, because Wesley never fucking answered his FaceTime calls, straight into a frown as his face get closer in the camera. He was obviously trying to figure out Wesley's surroundings.

"Where are you?"

Wesley grinned and switched the camera around to show your living room, aiming his camera to see out the window and Joe could see three people out on a balcony, smoking, drinking, chatting and laughing.

"Is that-"

Before Joe could get a proper look, Wesley had turned the camera back onto himself, hiding a grin as he took a sip from his beer.

"Wait, turn it back a second, I thought I saw something," Joe said, sounding so very earnest, but it just made Wesley laugh because he knew Joe just wanted to check again, see if one of them had been you.

"Why are you calling?" Wesley tried to shift the focus away from you.

"Just checking to see what you were doing," Joe feigned being incredibly bored, speaking through a dramatic sigh.

Joe could see his friend look over his phone for a second as someone asked him something. Then Wesley's eyes scanned his phone, and Joe was shocked when his friend muted himself so he couldn't hear what was going on.

Muted.

Shut Joe right out by muting the audio.

He saw Wesley talk to someone off screen, then look at Joe when leaning to show someone who didn't step into the camera's vision enough for Joe to see.

It was obvious he was showing Joe's face to someone in the room. To the person he was talking to about something Joe wasn't allowed to hear.

Fucking muted.

What the fuck.

Then Wesley laughed, raised his eyebrows questioningly in that same direction and then nodded before turning back to his phone and unmuting himself.

"You want to come over?"

Wesley texted your address, and about half an hour later, you were stood out on the balcony when you heard the buzzer go inside. You knocked on the window and interrupted Wesley's conversation with one of your other friends, gestured for him to open the door.

You'd seen Joe walk up to the building and knew it was him who'd rang your doorbell.

You knew what Joe looked like, it was almost impossible not to in the year of our Lord, Eddie Munson, 2022.

But you also remembered meeting him once on a night out when you'd just turned 19 and you'd been out with a bunch of people from uni. Wesley had brought Joe along, and you only remembered that he'd been goofy. Sort of didn't really fit in with the group, but was funny enough for people to enjoy and appreciate his presence.

You didn't know if you had actually spoken then, but a swift plow through countless now hidden Facebook photo albums showed you weren't in any photos together.

A shame, you thought, because Joe was handsome.

And Wesley had been a little bitch for weeks about having the two of you meet.

It's not like you hadn't been pushing for it. A little.

"Are you gatekeeping Joe?" you had asked him, more as a joke, but you did wonder. Wesley talked about Joe all the time like they were joined at the hip, but you had yet to meet him.

"Absolutely." Wesley had thrown a bag of nuts into your shopping cart.

You snorted. You had expected him to deny your accusation, to come up with a million different excuses, but instead Wesley jokingly confessed and you couldn't help the giggle that escaped you.

"What possibly for?"

"Joe's.... he's sort of... I don't know, you won't like him, I think. Joe's weird," Wesley'd scrunched his nose to really convince you.

"Wouldn't that make you weird by default?" you'd laughed, referencing the fact that they'd been friends for years.

"No, it's like... like, I don't know. He's just weird. Joe likes wallabees, you know those shoes?" Wesley had raised his eyebrows at you, making a point.

"Oh, ew," you'd grimaced.

"See? He's a weird fucker. Best to steer clear of him." Wesley'd concluded, and you had agreed to put it to rest, but you couldn't lie.

You'd seen pictures of Joe on red carpets looking sharp.

In your opinion, he was allowed to be weird and like wallabees if he wore suits like the ones you'd seen him wear every other week, no problem.

When you saw Wesley walk him into your flat, the first thing you did was pan down to see what shoes he was wearing.

Sneakers.

Okay.

Good.

Sneakers were fine.

They didn't match his outfit, but, they were fine.

Wesley pointed at you, and you smiled and waved at him from outside. Joe did the same, small smile, small wave, and then you turned back to your friends, turning away from the window completely.

"Shit," you whispered, making two of your girlfriends turn to see who you had just waved at, and they chuckled when they saw Joe.

"Shit," Joe said softly under his breath upon seeing you, his hand still stuck up in his wave, even after you'd turned around and faced away from him.

"Okay, let's go," Wesley said, dragging his friend into the kitchen. "We've got to talk."

Whilst getting Joe a drink from the fridge, he sighed deeply.

"There's no way..." he started, handing Joe a beer bottle, but not letting go of it just yet. "You're obviously each other's type, so there's no way I'm going to be able to stop this," Wesley looked his friend in the eye sternly.

Joe was just about to object, but Wesley was quick to speak over him.

"But if you fuck this up," his grip on the bottle strengthened. "She won't want to be my friend anymore, and then I won't want to be yours." Wesley warned, finally letting go of Joe's drink.

"Mate, nothing's gonna happen," Joe reassured, obviously lying to himself and to his best friend, planting a heavy hand on his shoulder and making Wesley scoff loudly.

Who was Joe trying to fool here?

"All right, well, we'll see about that,"

"Hi!" you stepped into the kitchen, and very obviously walked in on them talking about you. Both heads turned towards you and you were met with four big, bulging eyes and silence. You stared at them for a second, eyes going from one to the other, until you cleared your throat loudly.

"Hi," Joe snapped out of it and smiled his warmest of smiles before reaching out a hand and bowing his head down slightly as he shook yours.

Sparks.

You smiled back and silently told yourself you'd been right all along.

Joe really was handsome.

And cute?

How could you describe him... handsomely cute?

Pretty.

Joe was pretty.

Yes, pretty felt right.

Wesley formally introduced you to each other, but you couldn't even hear what he was saying.

Inside your head you heard classical music playing- a full orchestra, loud with violins and flutes and harps. Several harps, very romantic.

You held onto each other hands for far too long for it to be normal, and Wesley's eyes darted back and forth between the two of you.

"That's um... that's a lot of prolonged eye-contact, guys," Wesley spoke, his voice slightly hesitant, like he knew he was intruding.

"Yea," you sighed, still not breaking eye contact.

"Yea," Joe agreed and his smile grew wider, almost impossibly so.

"Greaaat... yea, this isn't making me uncomfortable at all," Wesley sarcastically elongated his words.

"Yep. yep. Great, this is just great. Well, I trust you guys will let me know if you need anything," Wesley's voice sounded uncomfortably constricted as he took awkwardly big steps to tiptoe around you as he stepped out of the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone.

"I've um... I've heard a lot about you," you said, finally snapping out of it.

"I've heard a lot about you too," Joe replied before taking a swig from his beer.

From outside on the balcony, Wesley and your two girlfriends watched as you and Joe chatted, exchanging pleasantries with flushed faces, pursed smiled, and probably painful cheeks from suppressing your grins so much.

It was an adorable sight to behold, and it made Wesley chuckle a little.

"I am either going to have to write two best-man-speeches for their wedding, or I'm going to be the deciding factor in who gets the dog when they break up," Wesley said, making your friends laugh as he shook his head.

He wasn't joking though, and inhaled a sharp breath before taking a sip from his drink.

There was no other choice for him but to stand back and watch this unfold.

We'll see how this pans out, he thought.

We'll see.

-----

The Taglisted: 

@ghostinthebackofyourhead @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @thatonefan-girl @paola-carter @eddiemunsonfuxks @figmentofquinn @haylaansmi @thewondernanazombie @hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere @munsonmunster @kellysimagines @dirtyeddietini @mybffjoe @harrys-tittie @chaoticgood-munson @harringtonfan4 @sherrylyn628 @bdpst-massacre @xeddiesbattattsx @05secondsofsexgods @lovelyblueness @adoreyouusugar @nadixq @prozacandnicotine @munsonswhore86 @alwayslindie @thefemininemystiquee @hauntingbastille @eddie-joe-munson @ali-in-w0nderland - add yourself

[kinky-candyland]

Have another MHA thirst for your feed.🥰

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

tw//: incest (sister x sister) (I don't condone it, the only reason I'm ok writing it is because it's fiction)

warnings:// aged up characters (I'm horny, not a monster, both are in their 20's), smut, 🔞, wlw, threesome (one guy two girls), dubcon, blackmail, OOC/asshole Denki, rough sex, floor sex, forced kisses, oral (m receiving / deep throat, face fucking), p in v, cream pie, oral (f receiving), aftercare is almost neglected

Denki had caught on to what was going on between Momo and her sister. He saw them doing stuff together that normally sisters wouldn’t do together. (See part 3 for what he saw). Later that same day, he decided to make a surprise appearance at the girls’ house. That evening, Momo sees him thought the window and hurriedly rushes her little sister to their room to get her in some clothing, both of them not wanting anyone else to see her naked.

They let him in (mistake number one) and he immediately lays it on them. He shows the sisters a video on his phone of the two fucking in the kitchen that morning. He was right out the window when he recorded them. Momo was enraged at Kaminari while the sister was ashamed of herself. In her mind, they practically gave him a free show. Kaminari then told them that he’d ruin Momo’s hero career unless they’d let him fuck them both.

Momo, being the loving sister she was, told Kaminari that she didn’t care about her hero career and to just leave her and her sister alone. Her baby sister, being the loving sister she was, did care about Momo’s hero career, claiming it was what Momo always wanted since the two were little girls. The two took a moment with each other, figuring out the best course of action. They agreed to Kaminari’s terms, choosing to protect Momo’s career.

Kaminari, unlike Momo, didn’t prep them. He forces the sister down to her knees in front of him. Kaminari takes his cock out from his pants and forces it down the sister’s throat.

While keeping a hand on top of the sister’s head while he thrusts his dick in her throat, he pulls Momo closer to him, his hand on her ass, as he roughly kisses her. The little sister has tears brimming her eyes at how rough he is on her. Momo gently cards her fingers through her sister’s hair in a soothing manner.

Kaminari came quickly, emptying himself inside of the sister’s mouth. He pulls away from the two, sitting on the couch as he practically demanded the sisters to strip each other and make out in front of him. Momo glares at him, but the sister fearfully complied to his demands. The sisters in a passionate lip lock in a way Denki believes they shouldn’t got him hard again.

Denki joins the sisters on the ground, practically pushing Momo away as he forces the sister on her back, legs spread, as he slides himself into her pussy. He thrusts deep into her, making her cry. Momo, with tears in her own eyes, moves closer to her sister, gently kissing her, promising her it’s almost over and that she’s sorry it happened.

Kaminari stills inside of the sister, letting out a shaky moan. The longer he stayed like that, the more scared Momo was at the thought of him breeding her little sister. He pulls out after a minute, putting himself back in his pants before heading out the door.

The little sister cries more, begging Momo to make her feel better. Momo, not wanting to see her sister in anymore pain, lovingly eats her out. Momo was a lot gentler than Kaminari, thinking of her baby sister and her pleasure above herself. The sister came in Momo’s mouth, finally satisfied. The two spent the rest of the night cuddled up together watching movies as they tried to forget about what happened with Kaminari.

The next day, Kaminari sends a Twitter link to the Class A group chat. It was the video he had recorded of the sisters the morning before. That surely ruined Momo’s hero career and got both her and her baby sister disowned by their parents.

[tyrantisterror]

Fantastic Rants and Where to Find Them

So, back when the Herbie Porber movies were still being made, Warner Brothers saw the cash cow on their hands and decided they had to lock that shit down as much as possible to make sure they could milk it until its teats were chafed and withered to nothing. To that end, they bought the rights to every book the Terf Queen had written by that point - which included all the Henry Pansley wizard school mystery books, but also two gag books set within the Henry Pansley world: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which was presented as an in-universe biology textbook for wizard children, and Quidditch Through the Ages, which was an in-universe book of trivia for a fake magical sport.

And at the time everyone with a brain who'd read those two books was shaking their head and thinking how dumb those corporate executives were to do that because, like, those aren't novels or novelas or short stories or narratives of any kind. They are, and I cannot stress this enough, a fake textbook and a fake trivia book about fake things written in a slapdash manner as a cheap gag. They existed for three reasons:

First, to sell something Herbie Porber related at a significantly lower price point than the actual novels so the Terf Queen could get more of that sweet, sweet Scholastic Book Fair money by having something poor kids could buy.

Second, to give a portion of the proceeds raised from that poor kid book fair money to charity so the Terf Queen could get some nice tax writeoffs.

And as a distant third, to expand the world-building of the Henry Pansley setting a teensie bit.

Now, as far as I'm aware, they succeeded at the first two well enough - tons of kids bought those cheap-ass thin as shit paperbacks when I was a kid, myself among them. Well, ok, I only bought Fantastic Beasts and skipped Quidditch because even during the height of my Herbie Porber fan days I thought the Terf Queen's imaginary sport was really fucking stupid and every time it popped up in the books I was bored as shit and tried to skim it as quickly as possible to get to the interesting stuff. I think I looked over the book once in a Barnes and Noble and thought, "Wow, I knew I thought real sports were boring as shit, but it turns out fake ones are even more so."

But back on track - goal number three was... kind of successful, I guess? Like, I don't know if you know this, but bestiaries of fictional animals are one of my big interests. I love a big book of made up creatures, and have collected many in my long life of thirty-four years. And as I said, I got a copy of Fantastic Beasts - technically several, because those cheap ass paperbacks disintegrated if you read them more than once, and I haven't met a bestiary that I haven't poured over several times, no matter how shitty. And despite how often I read it, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was, well... pretty mid, honestly. It's a book that's 99% world-building, and like all of the Terf Queen's world-building, it's overall mediocre and undercooked.

Like, in pure Herbie Porber style, it's mostly concepts that have been done in fantasy fiction and mythology dozens of times before with no real original spin on them whatsoever, often stripped down to their most recognizable elements alone. There are a smattering of original ideas that are actually interesting an novel, a few more original ideas that have potential but don't seem very well-thought out as is, and then some that are clearly just there to be a joke and are amusing for, like, a second, but also would quickly become annoying if they were given any focus.

I'll give a very me-specific example. As a fan of vaguely medieval european fantasy tropes, one of the metrics by which I judge a bestiary is "How does this handle dragons?" Because, like, I don't know if you know this, but I love dragons a lot, and the sheer variety of dragons in fiction is one of my favorite things in the world. There is a smorgasbord of different dragons a person can choose from just in folklore and mythology alone, and that variety is reflected in a given bestiary, the higher I think of it.

The Terf Queen's bestiary gives us ten dragon breeds... and they're all more or less the same except for scale color and minor variations in size. Oh, and their names, which are all based on different dog breeds because the Terf Queen thought that was funny. It's the worst of both worlds because it gets your dragon-loving hopes up that there'll be lots of unique dragons but no, they're just different colors, ho hum. Even the Chinese Dragon sticks to the same basic bitch wyvern body plan as the rest, when, you know, Chinese dragons have SUCH a different body plan than any of their European counterparts. It's downright insulting to the variety and creativity of this iconic folkloric archetype to reduce it to such a samey-set of monsters. Absolutely the most disappointing dragon entry in any bestiary I've ever read, just infuriating.

BUT, BACK ON THE INCREASINGLY DERAILED TRACK: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was never meant to be a "great" book. Remember goals one and two: it was a cheap cashgrab, a gimmick, a gag book. It was meant to be a disposable bit of fun - "Tee hee, here's a goofy textbook from this goofy wizard story that you kids will likely grow out of in a few years, you can read it in twenty minutes and not feel bad when you pitch it because there's very little substance to it, and it only costs three bucks."

The Terf Queen doesn't write textbooks, gag or otherwise, she writes novels, narratives, and in its original form Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was clearly just her fucking around with something whimsical and stupid for shits and giggles (and money, sweet sweet money). The original version of it was published with notes in the margin written by Henry Pansley and Donnie Stoat themselves, the two wizard hooligans writing little jokes and messages to each other with further references to other characters from the series, both to add more humor and because, again, the Terf Queen writes novels, and it was clear she couldn't commit to the "fake textbook" bit without working in some characters riffing it for her own sanity. And that makes it work as a gag book - you get a few laughs from the wizard hooligans playing MST3K with their shitty textbook, learn a little about the (undercooked and poorly thought out) ecosystem of the wizardy world, and then when you reach the back cover the spine of your cheap as shit pulp paperback book falls apart and, unless you've got a weird obsession with bestiaries, you throw the dying book in the garbage without a second thought. Three bucks spent well enough.

BUT, TO GET BACK ON THE INCREASINGLY DERAILED TRACK AGAIN: Warner Brothers bought the rights to this cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, and goddamn it, they were/are determined to squeeze Herby Porber's sore teats until every last drop of money milk spills from his chapped and bleeding nipples. They announced they were going to make a Fantastic Beasts movie towards the end of making the Herby Porber novels into films, and everyone with a brain sat there and thought, "Well, that's going to be a stupid cashgrab. Bet the Terf Queen's laughing her ass off at how dumb it'll be, too."

But the Terf Queen was not laughing, at least not for long, for once the Henry Pansley movies wrapped up, she was left with the horrifying knowledge that people didn't care for her non-wizard books all that much, certainly not enough to keep her rolling in sweet, sweet money. She needed that mega millionaire cash, and she needed it in abundance and she needed it quick. So when Warner Brothers asked her to write a movie based on her cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, she said, "Yeah, I can make a novel out of that! I - I'm a talented writer! People love my writing! They definitely love my writing and they'd love to pay money for things I wrote that don't directly feature Henry Pansley!"

So now she had to pretend that Fantastic Beasts, the cheapo cashgrab gag textbook about made up animals in a made up world, has a narrative. Not just any narrative, but a grand, sprawling narrative, one to rival, nay, SURPASS Herbie Porbie and the Seven Books of Wizard-Themed Coming of Age Nonsense. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, she assured us, was to be a magnificant tale, and one she planned all along, and CERTAINLY not a marriage of convenience to a completely stupid idea for a film that she was desperately sculpting into a narrative it had no ability to support for the sake of trying to recapture her already passed glory days as a writer.

And I think, in retrospect, this is a great illustration of the Terf Queen's great character flaw. She just can't fucking admit to a mistake, even when it's obvious to everyone that one was made. She will hop on board a sinking ship and keep doubling down on trying to get it to sail even as the water is up to her neck. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is a serious narrative now, not a gag textbook written to wring a few more dollars from school children goddammit!

Recent editions of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them took out the Herbie and Donnie commentary, by the by. They also added many of the new half-baked monsters that were introduced in the movies, in a shoddy attempt to pretend this was the plan all along, and that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was always meant to be the seed of something great.

But it wasn't, and no matter how hard the Terf Queen pretends otherwise, it's obvious it wasn't. It's a cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, and that's all it really had to be, until greed and ego demanded otherwise.

[im-notbean]

Punz x Soccerplayer! Male!Reader

Summary; Your cousin Karl Jacobs invites you to be his plus one at twitch con, let's just say your day got better after you lost your game.

TW; Use of real names, reader had ADHD, reader is tall, Dream get's bullied a lot, reader is V E R Y flirtatious, swearing, kissing (lol), kinda gets ✨spicy✨ at the end, harassment, homophobia, let me know if theirs more!

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION- I don't want my work posted anywhere but where it is at.

Key;

Y/F/N; Your favorite number

Y/N; Your Name

Y/L/N; Your last name

Y/H/C; Your hair color

Y/H/L; Your hair length

Y/E/C; Your eye color

Y/T/N; Your team name

NO matter how much you told your cousin Karl that you wouldn't be able to be their on time, he somehow got you to go to Twitchcon. So of course he told his friends who never even herd of you before, which is very unnatural you played forward. They would recognize you based on looks rather than name.

So that's how you ended up losing your game by 1 goal, which pissed you and your coach off, you were team captain and one of your best team leaders, and players for that matter. Being in the top 5 teams, ranked 3 currently, means that all of you teammates cared about the sport to go professional. But today, you guys played like shit to say the least.

Currently you were getting swarmed by fan girls who tried to get you to notice them, you signed a boy's jersey who got his sister or friend to back off that had your number on it, Y/F/N, honestly you liked people like that. Rather than the player they care about the game, and have favorites obviously, but still.

You called your cousin after you got in your Uber, you and him liked these calls it always cheered you up. Maybe it was because you both had ADHD or had similar taste or that you were close in age. Honestly you guys didn't know, you and Karl has always just clicked.

"Karl." "Yes Y/N?" "Help." "Why?" "We lost, and played like shit." "It can't be that bad-" "We lost to the 6th ranked team Karl Jacobs. It's bad." "Oh...well shit then- CLAY SHUT THE FUCK UP IT'S MY MALE COUSIN." "One. WHO THE FUCK. NAMES THEIR CHILD CLAY! Two. Who's Clay?" "Ask his parents, he's a friend of mine Y/N" "Tell him he is named after a minecraft block." "CLAY! HE SAYS YOUR NAMED AFTER A MINECRAFT BLOCK! YEAH? WHAT YOU GONNA DO THEIR 6'4!!" "I am 6'5 actually." "I MENT 6'5!!" "Put Harden Clay on the phone" "Nicknames so soon...make him laugh and then call him a tea kettle." "Understood."

You heard rustling from the other end of your phone, you arrived ar your hotel and took your bag out going into your room on the 6th floor. Putting your phone on speaker as a new voice was put on the phone.

"KARL WHAT THE FUCK." "Danm Hardened Clay don't dish my cousin like that. Very rude ya' know." "Hold up. You single?" "Yes. But I don't wanna date someone who is named 'Clay'" "Just call me Dream." "Ok looking you up now. I get to do more burring if you're faceless that's nice." "Blurring? Do you not like you're face or something?" "Yep. Sheesh I forgot about how much I work out...dang these abbs don't lie." "Ok...I wanna see now." "Put it on facetime Nimrod" "Geez ok. ACK KARL WHAT THE HELL!" "Tell my cousin he needs to chill out" "Karl...your cousin wants you to chill out. Geez fine yeah I won't tell anyone." "So...you want to see my abbs or not man?" "Yeah- Sorry zoned out, ADHD" "I feel you man...not in that way of course-" "You just made it weird, oh well I'mma pull up facetime now."

You sighed, the face came up on the screen with a smile. His brown fluffy hair with his emerald eyes and a slight stubble on his chin. Oh yeah, did we mention that you are a flaming homosexual? Because you are. Anyway, you turned the camera the other way towards the mirror you had in the hotel room. You turned on the light, giving Dream a better look at your abbs.

"Damnnn...how often do you work out?" "Every day, except game days." "Game days? Karl what do you mean...he's who?" "Your dumb as fuck." "What? How?" "Google Y/T/N forward Y/F/N." "Okay...Oh fuck I am dumb...how did I not realize you were Y/N Y/L/N." "Because your really fucking dumb." "Karl asked if your going to Twitch con, says your his plus one." "Yeah I am, your smart in this shit. What do I wear?" "Probably a tee-shirt and pants" "Great advice. Give my cousin his phone back." "Why?" "Because I need to know where to tell my uber to go for this...place?" "The event?" "Yup."

༺ T I M E S K I P ༻

You stepped out off the Uber and located Karl and some of his other friends. You toward over most of them except for one, Ranboo. You didn't know him that well, but you two instantly became best friends. You also met Dream, who you very often bullied through out the night. But out of everyone you met, their was one person who you fell head over heals for. Punz. You asked Sapnap about him.

"Hey Sap." "Yeah, what's up Y/N?" "Who exactly is that?" "That's Luke, also known as Punz." "He's kinda...cute"

You were sober with a cup of alcohol in your hand. You sipped at your cup absentmindedly as you looked at Punz face immediately becoming dusted with red. He was talking to Dream and obviously you had to bully him some more. You started walking over to him and slaped Dream in the back of the head.

"Someone who is as dumb as you should not be talking to most pretty boy in the room, Dream." "Oh...WAIT WHAT?" "You heard me idiot. Your amount of dumbness will rub off on him. He's to pretty to be dumb." "I'm right here-" "I'm saving you. Trust me." "Damn, hey I'll take it." "Punz really?!" "What? According to him I am the most pretty boy in the room, and who wouldn't take that as a compliment." "Your outnumbered Dream~" "Ugh, Y/N you don't even know Punz." "I know his name and that he's hot. That's all I need to know really." "That's gay." "I am gay though-" "What the fuck." "Dream. I have been flirting with Punz the entire time. I made it plainly obvious that I was gay." "I am really am that dumb." "Yeah yeah, shoo bitch." "Fine. Nice chating with you Punz."

Dream started to walk away from you two and you swung your arm around Punz's shoulders and started laughing. Punz was also trying to not laugh but he obviously was failing. You moved your arm off Punz and the two off you started talking and drinking more and more, this went on for an hour or so. You both were drunk by this point and decided to go to Punz's room, since it was closer, obviously. Once you two drunkenly walked into Punz's room you started talking again, but this time it was much more... heated. And I mean much much more heated.

"No no no, 'cause *hic* I've had girls like grope my *hic* ass before. And I'm s-standing their, all sweaty and shit 'cause I just like finshed a game *hic* and I'm all like I guess were doing this now and my teammates *hic* they know I'm gay and stuff and they just *hic* push me along as I move away the girls hand from my ass. But she gripped it even tighter and now this bitch's nails are diggin into my skin so *hic* my teammate gets security and she now has a retraining order." "Damn, *hic* that mudt suck balls for her." "Eh I guess, but I didn't really give a fuck *hic* as long as she's away from me and shit." "Hm, has anyone told you that you're really fuck'n hot." "Why you wanna know eh? *Hic* You think I'm hot shit innit." "I do." "Wanna make out." "I'm down" "...m'kay"

You moved so you were in top of Punz, you looked for any sign of discomfort to which you saw none. You tipped Punz's head up and slowly moved your lips to his and you kissed Punz. Punz threw his hands around your neck and pulled you closer to him and you grabbed his waist and set him on you lap, Punz groaned into the kiss and started tugging at your shirt trying to rip it off you. You broke the kiss to say something to Punz.

"Want- my shirt off?" "Please." "Pull it off yourself." "Wha-" "You heard me bitch. You wanna see me with my shirt off take it off yourself." "Uh- okay..."

Puns started to undo the buttons on your shirt and wasn't getting very far, his hands were sweaty and shaking. He managed to get the first button before you got fed up from waiting and placed your hands up his hoodie tracing his nipples. Punz's breath hitched at the contact and groaned again placing his head in the crook of your neck.

"Hurry the fuck up." "I'm t-trying- fuck don't do that *groans* t-to give me a minute." "Good boys don't keep me waiting, your a good boy eh?" "Y-Yeah." "Then Hurry." "Yes- *moans* s-sir." "Oh~ call me that more often" "Y-yes sir"

༺ T H E N E X T D A Y ༻

You woke up in Punz's hotel room with just your boxers on and while cuddling Punz, his neck and chest was littered with with hickies and he only had on shorts and boxers. Your head was pounding, how much exactly did you have to drink last night...oh whatever. You moved to get out of the bed but an arn was thrown around your waist stopping you from doing so.

"Don't leave....warm." "Luke, Darling I need to go." "Whyyyyy." "Because I gotta go home." "But why." "Because my teammates will be wondering why it's taking me so long to get ready." You reached for your phone, thank god your powered it off before you left. "I say fuck them." "Like how I did to you last night?" "More harder than yeah." "Are you wanting me to go again?" "Nah, I'm fine just...stay please." "I'm only going to LA, I should be fine Luke." "Fineee." "Just give me your number." "Alright it's xxx-xxx-xxx" "Thanks."

You quickly texted your teammates that you weren't at your hotel and were Ubering over. They all swarmed your door went you finally got their and stared at your collar bone and neck. You finally said that yes you did have a hook up and yes you knew the person and yes you did have their number, they finally left you alone. You quickly changed and packed you bags and brushed your teeth. And you meet up with your team downstairs. You would be riding with one of the least accepting of your sexuality. Zach. This motherfucker was big on regularly tormenting ypu with "It was Addam and EVE. Not Addam and STEVE." Thanks for being an asshole I guess. You and Zach places your bags in the trunk of the car and got in the backseat and Zach sat down next to you. You decided to ignore him until he said something about Punz.

"Y'know I bet whoever that fuck you hooked up was ugly. Probably fat as hell." "Dude what the fuck. You don't even know them, don't make accusations you can't prove." "Then who you texting eh?" "Your dad. So I can fuck him 'cause we all know he definitely ain't straight." "My dad is 100% a heterosexual." "How do you know?" "Cause he's with my mom." "But whatif he's bisexual? Or pansexual? Or Omisexual-" "Don't go spreading false information about people! Especially people you don't know." "But that's what you to me, it's only fair innit." "Fuck you." "Nice talking to you to."

You arrived at the airport and met up with some of your closer teammates, your phone dinged in your pocket so you picked it up and it came up with an unknown number that said...

xxx-xxx-xxxx

-Missing you already :(

You- Luke??

-ye

You- alr

You- miss ya too darling

-its actually so boring here ://

You- damn tf u want me to do 🧍

-idk

SAVED CONTACT AS "Luke🩷"

Luke🩷- Y/N respond to meeeeee

You- i was adding u as a contact chill your tits-

Luke🩷- what is it :D

You- *Sent an Screenshot*

Luke🩷- 🤭

You- im about to board da plane

Luke🩷- noooo dont leave meeee

You- I bought the damn plane wifi on the way here, what makes u think im not gonna do it on the way back :|

Luke🩷- dunno

Luke🩷- im just dumb like dat

You- ur not dumb luke

You- u can suck a cock pretty good 😉

Luke🩷- thats gay

You- no really?

Luke🩷- 🥲

You- please dont cry- im sowry :((

Luke🩷- Y/N wtf

Luke🩷- "sowry"

You- i feel attacked rn

You- alr i actually gott go

Luke🩷- damn talk to u soon babe

Luke🩷- luv ya ❤️

You- love you to darling ❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

AGHHFJSHSBAB IM DONE IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR MONTHS JESUS CHRIST 😭😭😭😭

yall want a part 2 (cuz i do lol)

[dobbysnotsureaboutthis]

Intro/ Rules - ask box open!

About me

Age: 20, Phone number: 1-800-IloveAlastor

Rules/ Expectations

After thinking for a bit, I’ve decided that I will accept asks (I've bolded/ color-changed the main points, for those of you who don't want to read the whole thing)

Rule number 1! Is that minors don’t get to participate here 

I’ll only accept Alastor x reader (fem or gender neutral) asks…because that’s what I made the blog for 🤣

I won’t be able to answer all the asks, and my post schedule depends on life… I’ll have to try and see just how slow I am lol 

Topics that are an automatic rejection: 

Pedophilia, vomit/ pee/ scat, Beastiality (like actual animals, not mah deer man he’s fine he’s a furry)

Unreasonable cruelty - I choose to write a longer disclaimer because violence/ cruelty can still be an enjoyable part of fiction for many. This is an Alastor x reader blog so there’s bound to be some bloody stuff going on, but there is a line I’ll draw; which isn’t a straightforward “I’ll never write this”. Ex: I won’t write about Alastor raping the reader and the reader obviously suffering. But dubious consent and the reader enjoying it is ok since this is fiction and we have insight into the character’s mind. It all depends on how it's written. Metaphorically, is it a painting where, despite the image's subject being gory, it is depicted in such a way that it might be considered beautiful? Or is it a crudely scribbled image of some woman being brutally torn apart (which only serves to please a select group of perverts and has no artistic value)? How clear is it that the audience is not supposed to become the art but enjoy it from a distance? It can be difficult to write a good line between the two. Also the more socially deviant the topic, the higher I’d need to make the word count to not have it appear as some barbaric quickie of a moral crime scene… and for that, I need 1. Time, 2. The fucking inspiration

Creative writing (aka writing outside of school) is all very new to me, so keep that in mind lol

I am trying to remain fairly anonymous, so feel free to ask or comment anything but don’t get TOO close 🖤😈💩

Ask away!

Taglist: @angeldustharmony, @littlebluefishtail, @cryssyd, @reath-solia, @speedycoffeedelight, @mo-0-o , @wendds , @yui-onnero , @alastor-fann , @sweetsaladpainterranch

[zoyaofthegardvn]

okay so i am a huge teen wolf fan like i have rewatched that show countless times. i adore it. it's perfect. but i watched the teen wolf movie and it was a flaming pile of dog shit. i didn't really expect it to be good but like my god it was awful. i blame paramount tho fr idk if that even makes sense but i seriously think if it had been literally any other streaming service it may have been better LMAO. but anyway it did remind me how whipped i am for allison argent. allison was my first ever fictional crush really and i've been in love with crystal reed ever since. so this is me saying imma open requests to teen wolf girlies specifically allison. are there even any teen wolf fans on here tho lol?? like is this post maybe gonna disappear into the void???? perhaps. but allison is bae so imma at least make it known that i'd write for her.

also let me just say allison x lydia was my first ever sapphic ship. and obvi i've moved on to canon ones but i was like 10 ok leave me alone. they were my number one sapphic ship for ages and i still adore them. my fave bestiessss

[mezzy-1]

OMEGA VALORANT AGENTS AND THEIR COMICS

In an effort to convince the public of the necessity of the Omega Protocol aka. Legion, the world governments on the other Earth commissioned a number of artists and writers to create propaganda pieces for the Omega Agents.  A few agents opted out or provided direct input as to what they wanted.

“Threat in the Mirror” is by far one of the most famous copy of the Legion produced comics and most popular

A four part saga with the agents all starting out with fabricated origins to make them more like characters than they really were

Phoenix was literally a student but they wrote in that had powers since birth and was a vigilante in London

Skye was helping with environmental sciences as a surveyor but the comic changed it to her communing with nature itself in some kind of temple

Fictionalizing the lives of agents was part of the deal

The ‘Alpha threat’ is presented as Kingdom executives that cloned the agents and stole radianite to create doomsday weapons.  Not entirely true but not too wrong

The 1st part is them working together to beat some Kingdom grunts and getting enlisted and by the 3rd part they detonate a spike successfully at the end

They don’t show the after effects of the spikes at all, just showing them ‘absorbing the radianite in a harmless flash’

The epilogue is them gearing up for an all out assault on Kingdom HQ which hasn’t happened yet

A lot of crossover events in this comic between other previous issues of other comics

Pure insanity with weird science and geek romance, this is the ultimate nerd comics with the strangest concepts ever

Microverses, aliens, mutant creatures, giant bugs, and all sorts of silver age comic weirdos are the typical threats but are often coupled with KJ and Raze’s relationship going through change

Yeah the shipping is ongoing but it's pretty uniform at this point, especially cause both Omega agents are engaged

There was an issue commemorating it, with them kissing on the cover

The ‘tentacled terrors’ in this copy were some kind of octopus alien thing that were created in some kind of experiment

They quickly became a popular symbol and to make some money off of the merchandising rights, the company manufactured plushes of them

The plushes serve as the Omega version of the squid plush Neon owns

Friendly Fire is full of romance tropes cranked to 11 because of the comic’s pulpy nature.  This extends to the side characters like Gekko, Neon, Jett, and Phoenix

Omega Yoru is included in the Japanese spin-off version, making those issues a collector’s item

In terms of propaganda, it functions ok by making the audience like the agents more and sympathize with them.  Most of it is made up but the KJ and Raze stuff is 100% true

It's pretty much the Spawn comic but less edgy and more story driven and a little more toned down

The whole origin of Omen is unknown to everyone but the fans have speculated on what is canon or not

Viper’s involvement in his creation was understated in the comic as to maintain secrecy and keep herself from feeling too much guilt

Current story is that Omen was an scientist studying a ‘shadow world’ who had his experiment sabotaged that came back to avenge himself by attacking Kingdom and threats

Most stories are mostly an overpowered badass with issues massacring nameless soldiers and scaring the hell out of the villain of the week

Viper is sort of a confidant and source of advice in the comic, while Cypher is sort of the ‘guy in the chair’ for all of them

From time to time they focus in on Omen’s lack of mercy and loose connection to humanity, which forms most of the drama that keeps readers invested

When Fade allowed herself to be illustrated in the comic, it was an instant match made in heaven for her to be Omen’s sidekick

A bounty hunter was the perfect foil to someone who had lost all direction and needed help.  In the comics their powers come from the same accident

Overall it's a great antihero comic but the Omega Omen could not care less about it and neither does Fade

The first draft of the Valorant Legion’s comics

It was created by a legend in the illustration community that used to make classic superhero comics.  The author was like a mixture of Ditko and Eisner in terms of comic genius

Propagandists working with the Legion had a meet and greet with many of the agents, and from then on the the author elected a few agents to follow

KJ was obvious as a protagonist, seeing as she had a relationship with Raze adding some motivation and she was young like the target audience

The bots and her technical genius were definitely an important choice because they could easily symbolize the efforts the governments made to protect people, especially places like Pearl 

Brimstone being the good-cop leader was a choice made because of the fact Brim’s image was already iconic as a hardworking soldier and great leader

Viper was a foil to the group, which helped balance the complexity of the crew and added some variety to personality  

Omega Viper was mostly indifferent to the author, but did want her comic version to exclude some of her background

She is usually the lancer of the group, and willing to do the more extreme things

Cypher was a hard character to introduce, his relaxed nature but sharp intellect made it difficult to decide if he should add more darkness or be more witty

It was settled that he’d be a clever wordsmith and the group’s heart to an extent, but the author left out the parts of Cypher’s life he’d rather keep quiet

He became one of those joke-like characters who are competent but get into funny situations.  One liner and wordplay king.

It’s played for laughs to cut dramatic tension but Cypher coming back from the dead is a common story beat if he disappears somehow.  Cypher keeps things upbeat

Omen is like the opposite of this idea.  He is the group��s strong, silent one who much is not known about

His origin is kept secret but it’s made clear he wants revenge on Alpha earth

What makes the character work well with the comic Protocol is the fact he serves as an outsider at times and lets other characters play off his condition

KJ as the newcomer, Viper as the lancer, Brim as the leader, Cypher as the heart, and Omen as the emotional core felt correct for a comic in the author’s eyes

With the team assembled, the comic launched with incredible success and totally hit with most teens and young kids

As more issues were printed, more characters like Raze, Sage, and Sova saw more appearances and got storylines

It was a hit to say the least

This comic is part Captain America and part Suicide Squad, but the two protags also have a rivalry going on

Sova is a side character in this and gets a lot of fangirls much to Omega Sova’s annoyance

Breach and Brim are placed on missions to demolish terrorist groups and cybernetic armies.  They blow shit up and walk away like the A-Team in a lot of the stories

KJ and Raze are the tech people and there are often many panels dedicated to the badass inventions in action.  Lots of cool lasers and rockets

Playtime’s Over is a new issue that has them fighting against a newly formed militia that has allied with Alpha Earth and is using android soldiers to steal radianite

The leader of the group is a sort of like a doll maker, hence Playtime’s Over

It’s got Metal Gear inspired parts for certain, especially when Breach suplexes a mech and Brimstone uses stealth tactics by hiding in a box

The bickering the two have is fodder for the fans to create god knows how many rivals to lovers fics.  Omega Breach constantly teases Brimstone about this, much to his chagrin

It’s cheesy action and explosions with two badasses that one up each other, so it's not super well written in terms of plot but is beyond entertaining

Comic Headcanon at Alpha Valorant

After the siege on Pearl and any time after where they visited it, the younger agents would loot that one comic store

They were weirded out by the stories being of them at first, seeing media based on you is quite jarring

Eventually many of them started to read through the boxes that were brought back as ‘recon’

It’s become a ritual to sneak into the store and see what issues are available to take and who’s in what comic

It leads to so many in jokes

One right of passage new duelists have is finding their first appearance in the Legion comic book series

[romajuliettemai]

A few more SSS incorrect quotes

I haven't posted sss stuff in a while and this has been in my drafts for forever so here we go! (Some of these were edited or created by me & take place in a past timeline- also don't ask why some of the spacings are weird idk)

Silas: Do you cook?

Roma: I made a cake once.

Marshall: Yeah, it was good.

Roma: Really?

Marshall: Don’t make me lie twice, Roma.

Orion: Some people are like slinkies.

Rosalind: What?

Orion: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Rosalind:

Rosalind: Please don't push Alisa down the stairs.

Orion, pushing Alisa down the stairs: Too late.

Benedikt: You need to stop swearing so much. Oliver: Shut the fuck up. Benedikt: Yeah, that's not how you do it. Oliver: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it. Benedikt: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine. Oliver: Shit the beep up. Benedikt: Oliver: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

Orion: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

Juliette: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Alisa: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Orion’* Rosalind: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

Rosalind: I owe you one.

Orion: It's ok, you can just date me and we'll call it even *winks with two eyes*

Alisa, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like. *proceeds to climb on top of the bookshelves*

Roma: Guys, Orion is missing. Celia: Good.

Alisa: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

Orion: Oliver is at that very special age where a kid only has one thing on their mind. Phoebe: Girls? Oliver: Homicide.

Phoebe: Hey! Wanna hear a joke? Silas: Sure. Phoebe: Your life! Silas: Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning. Phoebe: Silas...no.

Orion: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere... Oliver, rolling his eyes: Only as their rodeo clown.

Benedikt: Celia, we tried things your way. Celia: No, we didn't. Benedikt: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

Roma, clearly exhausted: Did you have to stab them? Future Katherina: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me. Roma: What did they say? Future Katherina: "What are you going to do, stab me?" Juliette, calling from the other room while sharpening her knives on a bowl: That’s fair!

Roma, rubbing his forehead, annoyed: In what world?

Alisa: I desire moisture. Oliver: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

Silas: You know I think my life has value. Orion: Who are you and what have you done with Silas?!

Sorry for not having posted anything Secret Shangai in a while- just been super busy. Probably not going to be as active on here just because I literally do not have the ability to be- but I'll hop on every so often and check in! Thank you to everyone doing their best to keep the fandom alive, I'll continue to try to contribute to that! <333